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oliverreedmasterass · 8 months

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Can you write like an aftermath of them playing MSG and just reeling from how amazing it was. And that they got to play their dream venue.

ADDISONNNNN this one got me emotional, damn! But here ya go!

Ready for the Garden

Words: 1.8k

Warnings: language, just a lot of emotions

The last notes of “Farewell For Now” surged from Jake’s guitar and, after basking in the feedback for long enough, his hands fell limply to his sides. Out of breath and plastered in sweat, he gazed out at the packed stadium in front of him. Madison Square Garden. Fucking Madison Square Garden. The crowd roared with cheers, many people holding hearts up to him from the pit. The past two hours felt surreal, like Jake had just blacked out and, at the last second, regained consciousness. He continued to stand on his side of the stage as Josh, Sam, and Danny prepared to make their grand exit, and stared down at the Gibson SG that hung from his shoulder, looking spent.

Jake first touched a guitar when he barely knew how to walk. Kelly was always getting scolded by Karen for leaving his musical instruments laying around the house, but he protested in the years to come that it was the best decision he had ever made. While Josh was busy with his wooden blocks and playing in their large backyard, Jake frequently found himself kneeling in front of his dad’s acoustic guitar, flicking the strings with his small hands. The twangy sound of the guitar vibrating always brought a joyful grin to Jake’s face, and he basked in the excitement of making special noise that he could control. As Jake grew older, he learned that he could place his fingers on the frets to make new sounds and, eventually, he graduated to holding the guitar upright in his lap, of course when Kelly gave him the greenlight.

Jake looked up from his guitar and returned his gaze back to the crowd. The people seemed to extend on forever, nearly reaching the rafters. Hanging off in the distance were the banners commemorating iconic performances over the years: Billy Joel, Harry Styles, and Phish, for some reason. Jake wondered if his band’s name would ever be up there one day. It didn’t need to be, he was living out his dream just stepping foot in the place, but he could still dream. He looked back down at his black boots and blew out an astonished breath. He was on the stage of one of the most famous arenas of all time. The history that was packed into the place was hardly fathomable.

Jake sat in front of the TV with the remote in his hand, trying to figure out which concert video he wanted to watch for the evening. His parents had an impressive collection of performances on VHS for him and his siblings to choose from, setting his family apart from all his friends who typically watched Disney classics and Scooby Doo cartoons. As Jake turned the remote in his hands, he realized that it was silly of him to be dwelling so much. There was one concert that he never grew tired of, no matter how many times he watched it.

“You’re watching The Song Remains the Same again?” Sam called to him from the kitchen as Jake hit “play” on the remote. “Didn’t you watch that last week?”

“It’s the way their music fills the stadium,” Jake tried to explain to Sam in words that he would understand. “It’s like magic. I want to play there one day and experience it for myself.”

“That would be neat,” Sam breathed out. Jake smiled that he and his younger brother were both on the same page, and patted the seat next to him. Sam bound over with a bowl of popcorn for them to share so they could witness the magic on screen.

He spent so many years dreaming of headlining a show at Madison Square Garden, and now it had finally happened. Jake was in the likes of The Who, The Rolling Stones, George Harrison, just about every legendary performer ever known to lead the charts over the years. Jake suddenly felt lonely in his spot on the stage, and remembered that he couldn’t stand out there forever, as much as he wanted to. He turned away from the crowd and, the second he could no longer see his dream in front of him, a sense of finality hit. Tears started to form in Jake’s eyes as he jogged up the steps to the main platform where Josh was waiting for him. The concert had come and gone faster than the blink of an eye. Jake yearned to play one more song but, at the same time, he was so overwhelmed with emotions, he just wanted to flop into a heap on the floor in their green room. Josh rushed to his side the second he noticed a tear splatter onto his jacket collar and laid a warm hand on his shoulder.

Jake still had no idea how he had managed to convince Josh to join his band. Granted, Josh did have an impressive set of pipes on him and he wasn’t shy to use them in his theater performances, but rock n’ roll had always been Jake’s thing. Following one of their long and arduous practice sessions after school, Josh stood over Jake as he carefully packed his guitar back into its case.

“Did you hear about that Eric Clapton contest?” Josh asked. Jake looked back at Josh and arched an eyebrow. Anything about any member of Cream immediately had his attention. “The winner gets to play on stage with him. You just have to submit audio of yourself playing and encourage people to vote for you. And, get this, it’s at Madison Square Garden.”

Jake was on his feet now. Everything Josh had just mapped out sounded like a goddamn dream, but the last part about playing on stage at Madison Square Garden made it seem too good to be true. Jake would give anything to show off his chops in front of a flabbergasted crowd, shredding like his life depended on it. Jake pictured himself, just 17 years old, on stage at the Garden. Butterflies flocked to his stomach and he reached for his guitar to get to recording. Josh was tickled by his immediate action, and headed for his room.

“I’ll write a tweet about this on the band account,” he said over his shoulder with a laugh.

“Are you okay?” Josh whispered into Jake’s ear. More tears were dropping from his eyes, but he didn’t want to wipe them away because it would be a dead giveaway to the crowd that he was up on stage, bawling like a child. The grin he gave Josh in return was much more accurate to how he was really feeling, and Josh seemed to take comfort in his response. “We did it,” he whispered to Jake, wrapping his arm around him. “We actually did it.”

“What the fuck,” was all Jake could choke out.

Sam joined them, his face bright and filled with delight.

“That was something else, wasn’t it?” he called over the sound of the crowd.

“You could say that,” Josh chuckled at his younger brother.

“I don’t remember the last time I was that terrified to play in front of a crowd,” Sam continued.

“I’m fucking terrified to go out there,” Sam squeaked as he peered out the curtain at the half-filled Fischer Hall.

“Sam, language!” Josh scolded him. “You’re, like, 13, you shouldn’t be talking like that.”

“I’m old enough to drop f bombs!” Sam protested. “Jake was saying all kinds of shit when he was my age!”

“That is true,” Jake pointed out.

Danny nodded knowingly. “I learned most of what I know from you.”

“How many people are out there, like a thousand?” Sam continued to worry from the wing of the small stage. Danny stood on his toes to look over Sam and then shook his head.

“I’d say twenty. Tops.”

“Can we postpone this? I think I have a stomach ache,” Sam tried.

“No,” Jake, Josh, and Danny were all fast to reply.

Jake wouldn’t admit it, but he was feeling just as nervous as Sam, if not more. It was their first actual gig at an actual place where playing music was at least semi-acceptable. This was no garage, backyard, or sidewalk show. This was the start of their career, and Jake could feel the weight on his shoulders. He and Josh were set to head to college in the fall, but Jake secretly hoped deep down that his band would do the unthinkable and take off. It was the one thing Jake had that felt right; school was always secondary in his life to music, so it seemed like the wrong thing to pursue. This concert was their chance to showcase their talent, get the recognition they deserved, and finally be put on the map.

“We’re gonna be fine,” Josh assured Sam.

Jake nervously wrung his hands, took in a deep breath, released, and then stepped out into the lights.

With his brothers by his side, Jake carefully made his way down the steps off the stage after giving a grand bow, and let the floodgates open the second he was out of the public eye. A few roadies looked at him with concern, but Danny, who Jake had lost on stage when he was caught in his head, hurried to him and smothered him in a massive hug.

“Jake!” he called out. “Your dream came true!”

Jake could only manage to make short hyperventilating noises as the drummer continued to smother him in his big, sweaty arms. His dream really did come true. Memories of the evening flashed through his mind, from his knotted stomach seconds before the curtain fell, to playing “Highway Tune” and musing at how far they had come, to hearing people begging for more leading up to their encore, to the stadium filling with a stunning glow of colors during “Light My Love.” It felt like something out of a fairytale. Jake leaned in deeper to Danny’s hug and, within seconds, Josh and Sam had joined the embrace so they could all revel in the moment.

Jake felt the smother of his brothers and shook his head in awe. Nine years ago, they formed Greta Van Fleet, now they were at the Garden. Their hard work had paid off. All of the things they had missed out on or given up to chase their dreams stung a little less. They had made it. They had actually made it.

Jake surprised himself when he was the first to break free from the group hug.

“Where do we go from here?” he found himself asking. They all looked around at each other in giddy eagerness.

“Pompeii,” Sam decided. “Like Pink Floyd.”

“I think a rooftop performance would be pretty cool,” Danny offered.

“You’re all thinking too small,” Josh waved them off. “I say we aim for the moon.”

That got everyone laughing.

“What do you think, Jakey?” Sam looked across at his older brother.

“It doesn’t matter to me,” Jake shrugged with a twinkle in his eye. “As long as I’m with you guys.”

#greta van fleet #gvf #gvf fic #gvf fanfic #gvf fanfiction #greta van fleet fanfiction #greta van fleet fanfic #greta van fleet fic #fic request #starcatcher #madison square garden #jake kiszka #josh kiszka #sam kiszka #danny wagner

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forever-rogue · 3 years

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Hot Chocolate Kisses

A/N: It’s nothing much, but it is something so tender and soft. I love Frankie and fluff! Why not have both? Tis a little thank/happy holiday gift from me to you. Enjoy 💕

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: pregnant reader, references to sex, sweet sweet fluff!

FRANKIE MORALES MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

"Good morning," the sound of his soft voice accompanied by the feel of his arms around your midsection was enough to make your heart flutter. He placed a soft kiss to your shoulder before resting his head there and humming in content, "how are you, honey bee?"

"Good morning, mi amor," you replied softly, taking one of his hands that had been resting on the gentle swell of your belly and bringing to your lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles, "I'm perfect. What about you, Frankie? Did you rest well?"

"Like a dream," he pressed a kiss to the crown of your head before reluctantly letting go and moving towards the coffee pot. Once he poured a cup and made it to his liking, he came over, and followed your line of sight out into the yard.

There was nothing but mountains of glittering snow coating the entire neighborhood as far as the eye could see. Small children were already playing outside, all bundled up in thick snow jackets and woolen hats, while dogs ran around their yards barking and biting at soft, fat flakes that were gently drifting down from the heavens.

"Record snowfalls," you looked at him with excited eyes, "which means we are snowed in and work is canceled. Do I even try to pretend to be upset?"

"Hell no," his smile was infectious as his singular dimple appeared and his soft eyes crinkled in the corners the way you adored, "I get to spend the say being lazy at home with my girl? I'm not going to argue with that."

"You know what today calls for," your eyes were wide and bright as the two of you knew exactly what a snow day meant. You'd come up with your own little traditions a long time ago and always pulled them out on days like this.

"You just want an excuse for hot chocolate!" Frankie's tone was lovingly accusing as he crossed his arms over his chest as he took a sip from his mug.

"No!" you insisted firmly, offering him a small little pout, "your daughter is craving some. Ever since you knocked me up that's all I've been wanting! And I don't need any excuse for hot chocolate. Hot chocolate isn't a crime!"

"First of all, this -" he pointed tenderly to the small bump just visible under your sweater, "was a team effort. Secondly, you've always loved my hot chocolate, long before any of this. She had nothing to do with this!”

"Obviously," you stuck your tongue out at him, "but you make it all fancy and gourmet. How can I say no? She's not helping though! I swear it's a craving."

“Your mamá is already using you as an excuse,” he laughed as he rested his hand on your belly. You instantly felt her move and flutter under his touch; she always seemed to be more active when he was around. Even though you were trying to have a seriously teasing conversation, the moment was enough to make your heart melt, “can you believe it, mija? She just doesn’t want to admit she’s addicted to the world’s best hot chocolate.”

“I can quit it any time I want,” you snorted with laughter at his silly antics, “I just choose not to. Now, don’t deny your pregnant wife what she wants!”

“What does she want?” there was a wicked little glint in his eye as you raised a brow at him.

“Well for starters,” you pointed at the cabinet, “some hot chocolate later. But how about breakfast for now? And a warm bath after that? I swear I’m getting as bad as you old man, my back is killing me.”

“Hey now,” he warned with a small boop to your nose, “you’re getting awfully cheeky for someone who wants my hot chocolate. You’re on very thin ice, honey bee.”

“You know I’m only kidding, Francisco,” you gave him a quick kiss as you went to the refrigerator to start gathering ingredients for breakfast, “besides, you’re my favorite DILF.”

“Oh no,” his laughter was a loud, beautiful thing as it sounded throughout the kitchen. You turned to him and shot him a cheeky little wink, “not you too! Everyone’s calling me that lately, I swear.”

“They can look but they can’t touch. I mean, have you seen yourself Frankie? You’re handsome as hell, you’re amazing, wonderful, kind. Everything,” you insisted as you rejoined his side, You could already see the light flush of color in his cheeks as he relished your words, “and you’re all mine. Besides, I’m half the reason you’re a DILF. Where is my recognition in all of this?”

“I love you, honey bee,” he stared at you in awe for a moment before turning so he could kiss you properly. It took you by surprise but it took even less to respond back; kissing him was such saccharine bliss, “you are everything to me.”

“Good,” you beamed at him, “now let’s get this ultimate lazy day started!”

»»————-　♡　————-««

“Those might have been our best pancakes ever,” you wolfed down the last syrupy bite before pushing away your empty plate, “I feel as stuffed as a damn turkey.”

“You’re the most beautiful and radiant turkey I have ever laid eyes on,” he joked as you lovingly groaned at his silly words, “I’ll clean up and you can start the bath. Plan?”

“Plan,” you agreed as you slid off the bar stool and started padding towards the kitchen. As Frankie busied himself with gathering up the empty dishes, you turned around and watched him for a moment, nothing but a gentle warmth radiating throughout your body, “Frankie? You’re going to join me, right?”

He turned to you and offered you his megawatt smile as he slowly nodded, a rogue curl bouncing around and falling onto his forehead. Gods, he was so effortlessly handsome and sweet. You couldn’t stop yourself from rushing over to him, delicately grabbing his face as you pressed a kiss to his lips, still tasting the faint sweetness of the syrup, “what was that for?”

“Nothing,” you grinned breathlessly, “I just love you is all.”

“Oh,” a flush of pink tinged his cheeks as he brought his hands to your face, delicately tracing over your features before pressing the softest kiss to your lips, “I love you too.”

“I know,” you beamed, “now hurry up so we can take a bath!”

»»————-　♡　————-««

You were humming under your breath, sitting at the edge of the large tub as you watched it fill up with warm water. There weren’t very many requirements you had when the two of you had been house hunting before deciding to expand your family - but a large bathtub was one of them. Moments like this made you glad for it; you loved being able to slip into the tub, often dragging along Frankie with you, not that he had any complaints of course. It was perfect for the two of you, and now that you seemed to be growing by the day, it was even better.

Pulling your favorite bottle of bubble bath off the shelf, you poured some in, inhaling deeply at the relaxing scent. All the stress and worries you had were already dissolving away with each passing second. Once you were satisfied with the copious amounts of soft bubbles, you threw in some Epsom salt for good measure, hoping it would help your aching body. Deciding to make it even more festive, you grabbed the speaker from your bedroom, and turned it on, opting to play some soft Christmas music in the background. It wasn’t like you were going to be paying much attention to it anyway; your conversations with Frankie always seemed endless, no matter how long the two of you had been together.

“Close your eyes,” Frankie came into the bathroom just as you were finishing getting everything ready. You closed your eyes, making a show of putting your hands over your eyes as you heard him shuffling in, “okay, pick a hand - left or right.”

“Hmmm…” you mused for a moment, “how about left?”

“Lucky guess,” he chuckled as he pulled your hands from your eyes. A little grin spread across your features when you saw what he was holding in his hands, “surprise!”

“Frankie,” his name was but a mere soft sigh as you reached for the soft, cozy pajamas he was holding out to you. You could spy a matching pair for him on the counter, your heart fluttering in delight. It had become a sort of little tradition for the two of you to get new matching holiday pajamas every year. It was just some silly thing, but it still meant the world to you, “I love them. Thank you so much - you remembered.”

“Of course,” he held out his hands to you, slowly hoisting you to your feet, “I wouldn’t ever forget.”

He slowly reached for the hem of your sweater, gently pulling up and over your head and outstretched arms before tossing it on the floor. He followed suit with your bra, unclasping it before letting it join your sweater and doing the same to your leggings and underwear. It was such a small intimate thing, the way his eyes looked over you was nothing short of adoration and reverence.

“Your turn,” you whispered before starting to unbutton his flannel, taking your time to undo it one by one. Shrugging it off his shoulders, you pressed a few kisses to the soft, golden skin of his shoulder before moving onto his jeans, wicking them down his legs along with his boxers. He made a small sound in his throat before stepping out of his jeans and pulling you into his arms. The gentle coolness of his wedding band on your back was wonderful; a delicate reminder of just how much he loved you.

“You look beautiful,” he whispered as he trailed kisses along your jaw and down your neck, a hand running down your side as he rested it on your waist, taking solace in the gentle swell of your belly. He still couldn’t believe your daughter - his daughter, one that came as a small surprise and blessing was in there. One he had never known he wanted so much until you told him you were pregnant and he broke down crying, as emotional as you were. You, the two of you, were everything for him.

“Hmm,” you mused, “you’re not so bad yourself. I guess we both got pretty lucky, huh? I love you so much, Francisco. More than you will ever know.”

He looked back at you with those brown eyes you adored so much, and you could see that they were glossy, close to spilling over with tears. You reached up and touched his cheek before brushing away a stray curl.

“Come on,” he held your hand as you motioned towards the tub. He got in first, settling down before holding his arms out to you. Carefully, you settled in next to him surprising him for a moment as you occupied the other side. Before he could say anything, you gathered up a handful of bubbles, and blew them at him, watching as they stuck in his dark mop of hair, “playing dirty are we?”

“Maybe,” you splashed him with the warm water, “you have to play nice, I’m pregnant!”

“You started it!” he splashed you back as you squealed in delight, “don’t start what you can’t finish!”

“Oh, it’s on! It’s so on,” you laughed as you tried to move the bubbles closer to your half of the tub, “you’re going down!”

»»————-　♡　————-««

“Do you have enough blankets, honey?” Frankie walked back into the living room, arms filled with a few more big, fuzzy blankets. You looked up from the comfy couch, during the numerous blankets you’d already secured and gave him a big grin. You were already feeling so toasty and warm in your new pajamas after your bath, and this just made it so much better. He snorted with laughter at the sight of only your head poking out, “oh.”

“It’s freezing!” you insisted, digging your arm out and pointing at your feet, “pile them on! The only thing I’m missing is your body.”

“I have a few more things to do first,” he put the blankets down and wrapped them around your feet, “gonna start a fire and then go and make the hot chocolate. You, my little bee, are in charge of finding our first movie. Think you’re up to the challenge?”

“As if that’s a question,” you joked as you reached for the remote, as he went over to the fireplace, “you just need to hurry up!”

"You are getting so demanding," he laughed as he kneeled next to the fireplace and started to pile some of the logs in. He started to hum softly under his breath as you watched him, absolutely in awe of the man you were able to call your husband. The sight of him in the same pajamas as you was endearing and caused you a moment of pause as you pictured doing this next year with him and your daughter.

You often wondered what she would like, although you both knew that the only thing that mattered was that she was healthy and sound. But a small part of you hoped she'd take after Frankie, to have those gentle chocolate eyes and dark curls. Maybe she'd take after you, or maybe -

"Everything alright?" Frankie turned and caught your distant gaze on him as she started to light the fire. You hadn't realized you'd gotten so lost in your little daydream.

"Yes," you smiled at him, "just thinking..."

"Thinking about...."

"Its silly..."

"If it matters to you then it's not silly," he insisted, making a small sound of satisfaction when the fire started to crackle away merrily.

"I was just thinking about next year," you admitted shyly, "you know how we do the matching pjs every year? I think it would be fun to do that with the bean next year."

"I love the sound of that," he agreed, "that'll make a great Christmas card!"

"Yeah," you agreed as he brought you a pillow to rest your head on, "you really do think of everything, don't you?"

"Only for my bee," he promised with a wink and a kiss, "I'll go and make the hot chocolate. Classic for you today?"

"Surprise me!"

"Be back," he promised as pointed at the television, "now pick something good out!"

»»————-　♡　————-««

It seemed like it had been a small eternity since Frankie had left to go on his little adventure of hot chocolate making, and you'd long since found a suitable movie. You started it but kept it paused as you waited. But soon you felt a flutter in your belly. A contented sigh escaped your lips as you put your hand on your tummy where you felt her moving around.

"I know baby bean," you told her gently, "I miss him too. Even when he's gone only for a few minutes. You're gonna love him so much, just like me. He's going to be the best papá. We already love you so much. We can't wait to meet you."

"Talking to yourself?" just in time your knight in cozy pajamas came striding back in with two delicious steaming mugs of hot chocolate.

"I am never alone anymore," you reminded him as he came and cozied up next to you, "I've always got the bean. And we were having a private conversation, thank you very much."

"Please don't let me interrupt," he passed your mug over before pulling blankets over his form and you curled up in his side. You grinned at the full mug, admiring how perfectly he had made it. It was a classic, a layer of mini marshmallows followed by a layer of whipped cream and drizzled with chocolate and caramel syrup.

"Thank you, Frankie," you beamed as you took a long sip, savoring the creamy sweetness on your tongue. You heard a soft chuckle before Frankie reached over and wiped off the whipped cream from your nose, "oops!"

"Good?" he asked as you nodded eagerly. Before he could stop himself, he leaned over and gave you a soft, saccharine little kiss. He lingered against your lips and you could taste the sweetness of the hot chocolate that was clinging onto him. He grinned before giving you a few more pecks, each sweeter than the last, "even better. Now, start this movie and let's get this marathon on the road!"

You clutched your mug to your chest as Frankie brought an arm over your shoulders and you pressed play on your first cheesy holiday movie.

»»————-　♡　————-««

It wasn't long before you felt your eyes start to get heavy as you finished your mug of hot chocolate. You were about to move it to the coffee table, but Frankie beat you to the punch, grabbing it from your hands and setting down before pulling you into his lap.

He wrapped his arms around you as you laid against his chest and let the soft rise and fall of his chest relax and lull you.

Soon enough your eyes closed and everything seemed distant. You didn't even try to fight it as Frankie pressed a kiss to your cheek. One hand was holding yours, your fingers laced together and the other was resting on your belly. It wasn't long before you were completely under the siren spell of sleep and snoring quietly in his arms.

"I love you, honey bee," he whispered ever so gently as he relaxed too, growing more tired by the second, "and you too, baby bee. You two are everything."

»»————-　♡　————-««

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#frankie morales #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x fem!reader #frankie morales x you #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #triple frontier #francisco catfish morales #cattfish morales x reader

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dreamsister81 · 4 years

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In Memoriam: Jeff Buckley By Dennis

It was one of those nights that makes a difference in your life, when you don't give a damn anymore what the rest of the world thinks, as long as they're thinking it about you, and not just the image you project out of fear, or a desire to be liked.

Our subway stop brought us directly beneath the church, St. Ann's of the Holy Trinity. It was hot. I was sweating, and my head pounded, reminding me how much I loved and missed my air conditioner. When we turned the corner, toward the front doors of the church, we were met with a beautiful spring-like breeze, and a small camp of mourners. It looked the way old churches in even older cities are supposed to look; black and imposing against a bright summer sky, making you feel like you owe somebody, somewhere, something . . . maybe praise. Who knows?

We waited and talked amongst ourselves, sharing cookies and memories. We spotted the black shoes, black pants, black belt, shirt, sunglasses, hair and goatee running across the street, toward the church's side entrance, and immediately knew Nathan Larson, of Shudder to Think. He looked less happy than the building crowd, and obviously had greater reason. He was a friend.

When the doors opened, we worked our way into the line of "Jeff Buckley: Eternal Life Mailing List" members, who were unfairly ushered in before those who'd waited longer, but lacked a modem. But we'd waited, and we've loved long enough to mourn, and two among our group of four were list members. So we entered. A disco ball hung from the arched ceiling, and a movie screen showed a still of Jeff beside a mirror. Kazoo's, guitar picks, and programs were handed out at the door. We later learned the guitar picks were the remnants of a cancelled order for the next tour, and the kazoo's . . . well, read on.

We found our seats and upon them fans, like the kind a geisha would use, or perhaps parishioners longing for air conditioning. We waited with the plaintive cries of Reverend Al Green on the sound system to console us. On the stage, sat the urn holding Jeff's ashes, beside his signature Fender Telecaster.

Fr. Lewis Marshall spoke of Jeff, of his love for the church, and the church's love for him. He spoke words of consolation, but he never tried to explain Jeff's death away. He said no belief system he knows of "could make sense of such a senseless" event. He asked that we make the world a better place through the energy and love and creativity that is, not was Jeff Buckley.

"Not all of me is dust, Within my song,

safe from the worm, my spirit will survive."

-Aleksander Pushkin

Jeff's aunt, Peggy Hagberg, was the first of many to tell us about Scotty, and that she'd only ever called him Jeff once. She read a poem she'd written for his 30th birthday, recalling the intrusion he was when born, "that baby my sister was having." But he soon became plaything, then playmate, then friend. She lamented the loss of her special child to the dual person he'd become in manhood and fame. She read from her paper the words "My Scotty . . ." and nodding toward the still on the movie screen, she weeped "that Jeff" and quietly walked away.

His brother Corey Moorehead, and sister Ann-Marie Huck, the children of the stepfather who raised him (Ron Moorehead,) approached the microphone next. Ann-Marie told us about Jeff's life growing up, about his meeting with Tim when he was 8 or 9, about how he never put his guitar down after that meeting. She told us about Tim's overdose, and how it affected "Scotty", and about the time they went to see "Rose", and how upset "Scotty" was when she overdosed . . . they had to leave the theater. She said "Scotty" always held a dark portion of himself away, a part she could never touch. She cried as she spoke to him, saying she hoped he'd finally found peace in his father's arms.

Corey read a poem Jeff had written sometime in the last five years. I believe it was called "Momma dogga". It was a beautifully written, funny poem from a child's perspective, on the love of a dog and a boy, and it lightened the mood. The poem urged us all to learn to live dog-a way. To hear it, you'd really understand.

Michael Tighe and Parker Kindred (guitar and drums from Jeff's band) walked on stage with Nathan Larson (guitar/vocals, of Shudder to Think, Mind Science of the Mind) and Joan Wasser (violin, of the Dambuilders, and Mind Science of the Mind.) They played a beautiful instrumental piece, with breathtaking violin from Jeff's former lover, and deeply emotional playing from his friends. They walked off as silently as they'd walked on.

Michael Tighe was scheduled to speak next, but the church's creative director took his place and told us how much Jeff loved everyone and wanted us all to love him. She spoke of the way he made us all feel we were special because we all had a place in his heart. She read a poem from Lou Reed, as a way to tell us Jeff was our mirror, to remind us how beautiful we really are, when we forget.

There was a presentation from Columbia Records, showing interview segments, and video clips, revealing live footage, and tales of the recording of Grace.

Rebecca Moore, a longtime friend and lover sat at the piano, and admitted she was shaken by the video presentation. She related the tale of Jeff and her cat, how Jeff made it his mission to make this cat love him. She came home one night to find Jeff with his hands around the cat's neck screaming "Love me!" She said that was the way Jeff wanted the world. She performed, and sang a terribly emotional song, and walked off as quietly as all the others.

Jeff's mother followed, and let his cousin, Kelly Hagberg, speak first. She told us about Jeff's sense of humor, and his undying need to create music. He would imitate every character in Saturday Night Fever, do Steve Martin's "Wild and crazy guy" better than Steve Martin, play Nintendo with her little brother, or a song on a Fisher Price guitar. Jeff believed we should make music every chance we got, so we played "You Are My Sunshine" on the kazoo's we were handed at the door. Once for practice, once quietly, and once to blow the roof off.

His mother, Mary Guibert, was amazing; composed and eloquent. She was a natural speaker who drew from us both the sadness and jubilation we'd felt throughout the night. She helped us see the reality in his death that none of us could imagine merely as fans, but she comforted us as well. She loves her son, and she loves us because we do too. Mary told us about the program, that the note from Jeff was one she'd found years ago, that she kept on her bulletin board for inspiration. And she told us about the keys, and the guitar pick strewn about the note. They were the items found in his pockets when his body surfaced, on June 4th.

She urged us to make a Golden Promise.

"A Golden Promise is one that must never be broken. It is made in one's heart to another heart that's just departed this life."

She asked us to "commit 'random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty' ... demonstrate the courage to follow your bliss . . . maybe, just maybe, together we'll be able to repair the damage done to this lowly little world by the untimely passing of this gentle minstrel."

We were shown a full concert from the Metro in Chicago, from 1995; nearly 2 hours long. There were pictures on a wall in the backroom, and a poem by Jeff. Michael Tighe, Parker Kindred, Mary Guibert, and Jeff's siblings mingled in the room, graciously taking time with well-meaning fans.

We left that night, feeling like we had a higher purpose, that things did matter. We left with songs in our hearts, and on our lips. We played our kazoo's on the streets of New York as Mary had asked us too.

Life will not go on as it always had. Life will go on as it always should have.

with love from the delphil

-dennis via mojopin.org

#jeff buckley #23 years ago #mylove #supremebeing #favorite #music #st. anns memorial service

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johannesviii · 4 years

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Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2019

The last list, for now. It’s been a wild ride.

Not the best of these lists, but some really refreshing stuff charted that year, and what was good was super good. And also, here’s a barely elligible #1 that nobody seemed to care about for some reason.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

In 2019, my finger was fixed, I dropkicked depression in the garbage bin (with a little help from Eurovision because it was super good and full of hilarious shit), got married, and went on a roadtrip on Vancouver Island (BC, Canada), and that was my first real travel in 13 years. Met a lot of great people, seen amazing places, trees, bears and whales. And planes are also part of the adventure when you’re not used to them (you can watch movies on little screens from your seat now?? I had no idea. I watched so many movies). It was very exciting.

I also saw VNV Nation live in February, for the third time in six years. This time I had enough budget to buy a tshirt. I wasn’t expecting that concert to be even better than the previous two. At that point the new album had only been out for a couple of months and we still knew the lyrics of most of the new songs and Ronan’s face was constantly broadcasting a kind of “...........how” expression (face it guys, we like you. A lot). And they finished with All Of Our Sins and let me tell you, half the club was ready to start a revolution by the time that was over. Super intense.

Ok. 2019 albums! First, let’s talk about some negative things. Coldplay released Everyday Life at the end of the year. It was... uh. It was basically how I stopped loving their new stuff. That’s a very sad conclusion (for now) to this saga. This is exactly what I feared would have happened after Viva La Vida, aka them trying to go back to their earlier sound - except in the meantime we’ve got three fantastic albums with songs full of energy and joy. So I’m not too mad about this, just disappointed.

Within Temptation released Resist, and it wasn’t very good either, but I appreciated the general aesthetic of it. More SF-themed albums in symphonic metal, please. NF released The Search and while I’m still not a fan there’s a song on it that would have been #1 on this list if it had been elligible, so that’s something. And Carly Rae Jepsen released Dedicated and it was super good so why isn’t she getting new hits. Why. It feels unfair. Oh, and Avantasia made Moonglow and that’s the first time I’ve cared about their stuff in like a decade or so. Ghost In The Moon is super good, check it out.

But the big event of the year music-wise, as far as I’m concerned, was the return of two bands I thought we had lost forever. Of course My Chemical Romance reformed, but they don’t have new music yet, so the main event for this post is the return of Tool with Fear Inoculum. It’s not even their best album, but having a pretty good new Tool album in the year of our lord 2019 wasn’t at all something I was counting on. Of course, the hardcore fans are still as insufferable as ever (insert the “you need a pretty high IQ” copypasta here), but it didn’t spoil my enjoyment of it. Come on! Their first album in 13 years! 80 minutes of hypnotic heavy rhythms and weird shit, an album that trolled me when I opened it by playing a music video while I was looking somewhere else (yeah I jumped), and they even managed to land a track for one week on the US hot 100! Again, Tool! On the hot 100! in 2019! Unbelievable. Are we starting to return to the good timeline? I certainly hope so.

Unelligible songs, now. The Search by NF would have topped this list super easily. Might be one of the songs I listened to the most in 2019, actually. Now That I Found You by Carly Rae Jepsen, again, should have been a hit, and I beg you to watch this music video if you’ve never seen it. The 1975 released the super unexpected People, which was still good, and also Frail State of Mind. And most unexpected of all, three artists I didn’t care about at all teamed up and made absolute gold: I Think I’m OKAY, by Machine Gun Kelly, YUNGBLUD and Travis Barker. That would have been the second slot on this list if it had been elligible. Or maybe the first, even? Not sure. I’m just so happy this kind of angry but uplifting music is starting to become popular again. I just love everything about this song.

Here’s a short list of honorable mentions!

Roi (Bilal Hassani) - I don’t like this song a lot, but I do like it, I’m glad it was our song for the ESC 2019, and Bilal is a very nice and endearing person, and everyone who disrespects him on twitter is free to come fight me in the pit, where I’m still waiting with that tambourine from my 1992 list.

Con Calma (Daddy Yankee, Katy Perry, Snow) - You already know I liked the original Informer a lot, so I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t pleased to hear this clone of it on the radio.

Breathin’ (Ariana Grande) - Here’s the usual “if I had better taste this would be higher” honorable mention.

Summer Days (Martin Garrix) - In the absence of any new hit song from Macklemore this will do in a pinch.

Circles (Post Malone) - The fact that everyone seems to adore this and I’m over there saying “it’s ok I guess” probably means I will never love Post Malone nor understand the hype about him, and that’s okay, I can live with that.

High Hopes (Panic! At the Disco) - Still elligible. Still good but too borderline annoying to make the list.

How Do You Sleep (Sam Smith) - This year Sam Smith pulled a Viva La Vida and decided to stop making boring music all of a sudden and I’m LIVING FOR THIS. I certainly hope they continue in that direction.

And now, the list.

10 - La Grenade (Clara Luciani)

US: Not on the list / FR: #55

The only semi-filler on the list. I still like it a lot. Don’t have anything to say about it, though.

9 - Panini (Lil Nas X)

US: #40 / FR: Not on the list

Wasn’t too impressed by this at first and it took a while to grow on me, but the chorus is a nice little earworm, and “hey panini, don’t you be a meanie” has a tendency to pop in my head when I read hateful comments on the internet now. And Lil Nas X is just too endearing to be ignored. We’re so lucky to have someone who became famous so quickly and instantly decided to dress like a Jojo character and have the geekiest music videos possible and still be super nice and humble. We don’t deserve this guy.

8 - Dance Monkey (Tones And I)

US: Not on the list / FR: #6

I’m super glad the US are finally getting on the hype train in 2020 because this is a ton of fun. If the voice was juuuuuust a little less grating this would be even higher. Impossible to get it out of your head and somehow in this case that’s a good thing.

7 - Dancing With a Stranger (Sam Smith & Normani)

US: #14 / FR: Not on the list

As I said in the honorable mentions, Sam Smith pulled a Viva La Vida and decided to stop making boring music all of a sudden and I couldn’t be happier about that. This song is still a bit too calm for my taste most of the time, but when I’m in the right mood, it’s just fantastic.

Again, I hope Sam Smith continues in that direction, because if you had told me a couple of years ago that I would start to like their stuff one day, I would have laughed out loud.

6 - Bad Guy (Billie Eilish)

US: #4 / FR: #16

Duh.

I’m not as enthusiastic about When The Party’s Over as a ton of people are, mostly because, well, it’s a slow emotional song with little to no colour in it and by now you’re already aware I tend to have next to zero interest in that kind of songs. Bad Guy, on the other hand, is half hilarious half scary in equal doses, and even if I’m not super fond of the weird outro, it’s still a fantastic, weird as shit song, and I’m really glad Billie Eilish exists. Can’t wait to see where she goes from there.

I’m super glad this song didn’t come out when I was a teenager myself though. Come to think of it, I’m not sure I would have survived if the musical landscape from 16 years ago had been as depressed as it currently is. Thank god music is slowly getting more energetic again in 2020. Let’s stay on that track.

5 - Hey Look Ma I Made It (Panic! At The Disco)

US: #61 / FR: Not on the list

I follow several music critics on youtube and over the course of 2019, I’ve seen undiluted vitriol and hatred against this song (Spectrum Pulse even made a list of his “worst hit songs” of the decade and put this one at #10! TEN!!). And... I don’t really get where it’s coming from? Maybe I’m too literal-minded to see what the problem is with a sarcastic song saying “look I sold out and now I found success again! And it’s not that great!”. I just think it’s a lot of fun. Thank god Todd put it on his best list, at least we can agree on one thing for once.

It is hilarious that after putting so many Fall Out Boy songs on my lists, the one that I love the most from Panic! is the sellout song. Not sure why this was huge while the even better Say Amen wasn’t, though.

4 - Sunflower (Swae Lee & Post Malone)

US: #2 / FR: Not on the list

I usually don’t get the “chill” songs that tend to be successful these days but this one, unlike most Post Malone songs (bar Circles), has lovely pastel colors and a cloudy texture and it’s a really good vibe. It took several months to grow on me but it sure did.

In about ten years, people will listen to Sunflower and be submerged by nostalgia, mark my words.

3 - Old Town Road (Lil Nas X)

US: #1 / FR: #1 (see, everyone agrees for once)

Everyone on the planet already wrote a thinkpiece about this song and yet I’ve only seen maybe one out of five mentioning, just in passing, that the entire song is based on a Nine Inch Nail track from Ghosts I-IV, superbly re-used to make a weird and insanely catchy country hip hop song out of it. Ghosts has been one of my go-to albums to listen to while I’m painting for about ten years now. I’m saying all this because hearing a track from Ghosts on the radio for months was absolute bliss for me, especially in a new and improved version.

Thank you Lil Nas X for everything you’ve been doing and I wish you a long and successful career. You deserve it. I love this and I love you.

2 - Bury A Friend (Billie Eilish)

US: #73 / FR: Not on the list

Hello again, Billie Eilish.

This song is absolutely terrifying and that was before I even saw the music video. This is the soundtrack of your nightmares right there. I’m not even sure it deserves to be so high on the list, but frankly I’m too terrified to care. Maybe Old Town Road should be higher. I don’t know.

Also you have to know that when I’m super tired I go into echolalia mode and automatically repeat words or entire sentences that my brain considers interesting, like “potiron” (pumpkin) or “dramatique” ; and recently, my brain decided “when we all fall asleep, where do we go?”, sung exactly like it’s sung in this song, was its new favorite sentence. So. Hearing yourself saying that to an empty room while you’re drawing or folding clothes or cleaning plates is not a very pleasant experience, and it makes this song extra scary to me.

And now, here’s the last #1 of the last one of these lists (for now), and I’m glad to announce it closes this series of posts in a super fitting way.

Check this out. It’s so perfect in every way.

1 - Walk Me Home (Pink)

US: #99 / FR: Not on the list

Nobody seemed to care about this song over the course of 2019, and it's barely elligible, and I still have no idea why. The music reviewers I follow only either talked about it super briefly when it came out, or not at all. The rare ones who were making top 100s at the end of the year instead of top 10s usually put it somewhere in the middle of their lists. And yet it’s the elligible song I’ve listened to the most.

If you’ve been reading this series of posts for a while now, you probably already know exactly why it’s here, but here’s a quick recap.

The second album I ever bought in my life was Pink’s Missundaztood in 2002, and I loved her music a lot:

I was still really fond of her stuff in 2007:

Then she started to become less interesting and I basically ignored her apart from a brief blip on my radar in 2017:

Meanwhile, in 2012, fun. made some of the best songs of the entire decade before vanishing instantly, and I’ve been mourning them ever since:

And in the middle of last year, here I am, listening to the radio, and suddenly I hear something that sounds exactly like a fun. song, except I’ve never heard it before and it’s sung by a female singer, and, most importantly, it’s 2019 and fun. broke up more than six years earlier. And I’m like, what’s going on. This is so good. What the hell. What is this.

And I hear it a second time weeks later, and I google it, and I discovered that 1) it was Pink singing this, which made it my favorite Pink song in literally more than ten years, and 2) it was, indeed, written by one of the guys from fun., among other people who’s influence is less obvious.

I guess the main lesson from 2019, between newcomers making great music based on dead trends, old groups reforming, and this song, is that nothing’s gone forever, and things you used to enjoy can come back at the most unexpected time and in the most unexpected form.

There’s always, always gonna be new music to love, and it’s just a question of time.

Quick note

And with this, these lists are over... for now.

I don’t regret making them even if they were a ton of work, because that was super useful for a lot of different reasons.

They helped me get a better understanding of my own life’s chronology. That may sound stupid but I tend to link events to the music I was listening to at the time, and putting all that music in chronological order helped a lot.

I rediscovered a ton of songs I had completely forgotten about, and a lot of new ones. My playlist is much richer now and I’m happy about that.

I also discovered a few artists I knew nothing about.

It forced me to analyse two depressive episodes in my life and just because everything was now in exact chronological order, it accidentally helped me pinpoint what caused both of them. Better and cheaper than therapy. Impressive.

It made me realise how important some bands and artists had been in my life, and I relistened to some of their catalogue while making these lists. For some it was really obvious (Indochine, Placebo, Mylène Farmer, My Chemical Romance among some others), and for some others (Moby, Linkin Park, Mika in particular), it was a real surprise.

It made me realise that Placebo might have been huge in France but weirdly enough not that huge in the UK nor in the US. It’s especially striking when you look at their wikipedia page in English then in French and realise how detailed the French one is compared to the English one. Can’t believe Sleeping With Ghosts was a n°1 album here and basically nowhere else. That was the band where that discrepency was the most obvious but it wasn’t the only one like that. Really puts stuff in perspective.

It also helped me realise how cyclical popular music is. 1) trends tend to die near the end of every decade and the worst year is usually somewhere between the 8th and the 9th year. 2008 and 2018 tend to confirm this. 2) For the same reason, some new & interesting stuff appears at the beginning of every decade, and reaches its high point of quality between the 2nd and 4th year of the decade. 3) Basically I’m saying we’ve now passed the lowest musical quality in recent memory and 2022-2023 will have some exceptional music.

See you in December 2020. I have no doubt there’s a ton of great music coming up in the near future.

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #the last one #I can't believe this is over #I loved making these lists #spider tw #eye contact tw

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sweetdreamsjeff · 5 years

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From the Memorial at St. Ann's

In Memoriam: Jeff Buckley

"Not all of me is dust, Within my song, safe from the worm, my spirit will survive. -Aleksander Pushkin

There was a presentation from Columbia Records, showing interview segments, and video clips, revealing live footage, and tales of the recording of Grace.

She urged us to make a Golden Promise.

"A Golden Promise is one that must never be broken. It is made in one's heart to another heart that's just departed this life."

Life will not go on as it always had. Life will go on as it always should have.

with love from the delphi -dennis

#Jeff Buckley #Peyote Internet Theatre #From the Memorial at St. Ann's

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dr0wning-in-hell · 6 years

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Ready - Sweet Pea

summary : Y/N decides that it’s time for her and Sweet Pea to move onto the next level of their relationship, and while in the heat of the moment they forget to protect themselves which leads to an unexpected surprise.

word count : 3.5k+

warnings : a little bit of angst, nervous!reader, scared!reader, cursing, smut, unprotected sex (wrap it up folks!), fingering, oral (fr), teen pregnancy, super sweet Sweet Pea, SHIT TON OF FLUFF SO GET READY

pairing / characters : sweet pea x virgin!pregnant!reader, Toni Topaz,

prompt : “Hiya, could you do an imagine with Sweet Pea? Prompts 34 35 and 38. I feel like you could make a great plot for this! Also you’re imagines are amazing 😍” - @sweetpeatrashxo “Can you do a sweet pea x Reader were she's a virgin and he is super sweet to her” - @jeromeandjeremiahvaleskafreak

34. “We live together. You can’t blame this on anyone else.” 35. “I think I might be pregnant..” 38. “Think about it. The little patter of children in our home.”

A/N : I decided to pair these two together thinking it would work out pretty well, so enjoy! THIS IS FILTHY OKAY BE READY

new masterlist | requests | prompt list

Sweet Pea and Y/N had been dating for almost over a year now and they had never gone over the limit of a make-out session. Sure, Y/N and Sweet Pea both wanted to go further, but Y/N didn’t know if she was quite ready yet. The day that Y/N decided she was ready to take it a step forward with her boyfriend she confided in her best friend Toni first.

“I think I’m ready to move forward.” Y/N said, a shy smile starting to cover her lips.

Toni was more than happy to hear those words come from her friend, especially because she knew that Y/N was only going to do this act with the person she wanted to be with for the rest of her life. Toni knew from the moment that her two best friends started dating that they’d last forever. “If you really want to do this we have to go get you some sexy lingerie, it’ll make you look even hotter.” Toni said. “We can go look at some things and then hopefully make it back to your trailer before Sweet Pea does.” Y/N nodded. The two girls went to the store that day, looking at all the lingerie they had to offer.

At first Y/N wasn’t sure if she could pull any of the outfits off, but those thoughts were quickly put to rest when she found a piece that she liked. It was a dark green piece, lace covered more than half of the material and there were small scales sewn into the fabric. She picked up the piece, smiling at it. Y/N tried it on, her thoughts once again telling her she wouldn't look good in it but they were wrong. The set made her look absolutely stunning. Y/N loved how the green and the scales matched perfectly with her serpent tattoo that laid on her forearm. Y/N couldn’t wait to see her boyfriend’s reaction, mostly because she had other tattoos in places he wouldn’t see until now.

Y/N bought the set of lingerie and then hurried back to her and Sweet Pea’s trailer. The two had moved in with each other at the six month mark of their relationship, mainly because neither of them had parents that lived with them and they were struggling to pay for everything on their own, which resulted into them moving into one shared trailer.

Y/N quickly took a shower, making sure to wash her body and shave thoroughly in all the right places so that this wasn’t to awkward of an experience for either of them. After that she sprayed herself in Sweet Pea’s favorite perfume of hers, matching it with its paired lotion. Once that was all done she put on her new set and then put on a sexy outfit just to make sure that everything would be perfect. Y/N waited for Sweet Pea to get home for another hour, so while she waited she decided to Google some tips on sex for first timers. She read through several articles, finding some interesting and not so interesting things on the topic.

When Sweet Pea arrived back at the trailer he ignored Y/N for a few minutes by going into their room and changing out of his clothes and into a fresh pair of sweats and a muscle tank top. Y/N was the only one who ever saw him wear anything like this, and she was happy about that because boy oh boy would she have issues with other girls starring at her boyfriend. Y/N was still going through some articles on her phone when Sweet Pea came out and sat next to her on the couch, instantly laying his head on her shoulder. At that moment Y/N began to rethink whether or not she should go through with her plan.

Shutting her phone off Y/N began to run her fingers through her boyfriend’s hair, his soft sighs of content making her smile. “How was practice today, babe?” She asked softly.

“Rough, we got worked overtime and than Mantle wanted start pissing me off by talking about you and how he could get into your pants easier than I could.” He huffed. “But I know that will never happen.” He looked up at her, his brown eyes gazing into her Y/E/C orbs. “Something’s on your mind, what’s wrong?”

“I um.” God, how I am going to do this? She thought. She just had to tell him straight forward that she was ready, it was just like ripping off a band aid- well kind of. Taking in a deep breathe Y/N sat both her and Sweet Pea up, “I’m ready to move forward in our relationship.” She said.

Sweet Pea’s eyes widened, “Babe, are you sure? Is because of what I said about Reggie?” He quickly questioned.

Y/N shook her head, a smile appearing on her beautiful lips, “No, no it’s not that.” She sighed, “I talked to Toni about it this morning and I decided that I was ready for it now.” Y/N waited for Sweet Pea to say something, which began to scare her, but when he quickly captured her lips with his that feeling was replaced with a different one.

“I love you so much, you know that right? I’ll never do anything to hurt you.” Sweet Pea mumbled against her lips. She nodded, mumbling ‘just kiss me again’ before pulling her boyfriend to her lips again. The two teens made out for a few minutes before the Serpent boy pulled the girl onto his lap and began grinding her hips into his. The friction between them was unimaginable as Y/N’s jeans rubbed against her clothed core and her center rubbing up against Sweet Pea’s growing erection. When Pea was fully hard he stood up, hoisting Y/N’s legs around his hips and walked them to the bedroom. Y/N squealed and giggled as he kissed her face and neck.

Sweet Pea placed Y/N on her back on the neatly made bed then taking a step back to admire the beauty he got to call his girlfriend. “You’re so fucking gorgeous.” He breathes out, “Fuck I love you.” Y/N sat up a bit and pulled Sweet Pea on top of her, resulting in her falling back again with her boyfriend on top of her.

“I love you too baby, so much. I’m never gonna leave you.” She whispered. The two began to kiss again, this time the make out session much hotter than the previous one. Sweet Pea’s hand roamed all of Y/N’s body, memorizing every single inch of her. His hands slid up her waist and under her shirt, tracing random patterns on her smooth skin. “You can touch me, Sweets it’s okay, I trust you.” Y/N said in a small tone. Sweet Pea took the time to take off Y/N’s shirt, revealing the lacy bra she had just bought. Y/N heard him groan in satisfaction at the sigh of her in the piece. Again, his large hands trailed up her skin, this time stopping at her breasts. Y/N’s nipples were perked up, pressing against the material of the bra. Sweet Pea ran the pads of his thumbs over her nipples, earning a gasp of delight to come from his girlfriend. Since this was the first time he had ever heard her make a noise like that he was awestruck at how beautiful she sounded.

“‘M gonna make you feel so good princess, I promise.” The serpent whispered as he kissed down his girlfriend’s stomach and down to the hem of her jeans. Y/N nodded at him, telling him it was okay to take them off. He did, dragging them down her legs ever so slowly. When they were fully off Sweet Pea’s eyes were glued to her body. For the first time he saw the other tattoos that his girlfriend had. She had a large underboob tattoo that Sweet Pea was practically drooling over, and then one right on her thigh. “Never told me you had such beautiful tattoos, babygirl.” Pea rasped out as his fingertips traced the markings. “They look so good on you.”

Y/N blushed. “Mm, well now you know about them.” She whispered. Sweet Pea continued kissing every inch of her body, teasing Y/N for the longest time that she thought she might burst from just the small touches.

“As much as I love seeing you in this piece, it’s gonna look a lot better on the floor.” Pea mumbled. Y/N nodded and sat up just enough to unclasp the bra and throw it the floor. She thought she would be more nervous about exposing herself to to him for the first time, but because she knew him so well and she trusted him so much she was comfortable with it. Laying back, Y/N watched at Sweet Pea pulled down her lace panties and through them with the the rest of her clothes. “Fucking hell.” His eyes were glued to her cunt, the sight of the freshly shaven area making his mouth water.

Sweet Pea kneeled down and gently spread Y/N’s legs open so he could see all of her. When the cool air of the trailer hit her exposed core she couldn’t help but let out a low whimper. Sweet Pea dragged his fingers through her soaked folds, collecting her wetness on his digits. “I’m just gonna warm you up, okay baby?” He asked, Y/N nodded. “I need your words babydoll, want to know that you want this.”

“Yes,” Y/N breathed out, “I want this, fuck I need this Pea, please.” She whispered. Sweet Pea nodded and continued on with his actions. The tip of his middle finger prodded at Y/N’s entrance, then slowly pushed through her walls. Y/N gasped, her hands clinging to the sheets quickly. At first the new feeling stung, but then once he started to move his finger in and out of her slowly it turned it a good feeling, a feeling that Y/N was falling in love with. Sweet Pea added a second finger a few minutes later and began to thrust his fingers faster into Y/N’s tight cunt. She was a moaning mess, each time his fingers moved in the slightest way she was whimpering in pleasure. She loved this new feeling, she loved that her boyfriend was the first to ever please her like this.

The boy blew his hot breathe onto her clit before he gently sucked the nub in between his teeth. “Fuck!” Y/N mewled out, “Fuck, Pea, gah f-feels so good.” She stuttered out. He smirked at her words and pulled his fingers from her pussy, causing a whine to escape her mouth.

“Taste yourself, love, you taste fucking delicious.” Sweet Pea stretched his arm out and hovered his fingers over Y/N’s lips. She didn’t hesitate for a second before she sucked Sweet Pea’s fingers into her mouth. The moan that came from her mouth just made Pea’s boner strain against his sweats even more. He continued to eat out his girlfriend, relishing in the taste of her for the first time. His tongue lapped up all of her juices, spread apart her folds and sunk into her center, while his thumb rubbed lazy circles onto her clit. The way Y/N’s body was shaking and the way her hands were constantly reaching out and grabbing something gave Pea the memo that she was close to her first orgasm. “Gonna cum for me baby? Come on, cum on tongue, wanna taste you.” Y/N didn’t hold anything back, she let that tightening knot in her stomach unwind and she felt her first orgasm wash over her. Sweet Pea moaned at the taste and feeling of his girlfriend’s cum on his tongue. He lapped up every last drop before pulling his face away from her core. When he sat up Y/N could see her wetness dribbling off of his chin. “You have no idea how good you taste.” He said.

“And you have no idea how much clothes your still wearing.” Y/N smirked. “All that,” She gestured to his tank top and sweats. “Off. Now.” Sweet Pea chuckled at his girlfriend but did as told and began to take off his clothes. Y/N watched closely as he took off his sweats and his member sprung free from it’s confinement. “No boxers?” Y/N teased. Sweet Pea playfully rolled his eyes.

“You’re absolutely positive that you want to do this?” Sweet Pea asked again.

“I’m 100% positive, Sweets. I promise.” Y/N said. He nodded and crawled over his girlfriend, pressing a soft and loving kiss to her lips. “I’m ready for you.” She whispered. Sweet Pea nodded and lined his cock up with her entrance. Before pushing in he lubricated himself in her wetness, then slid himself in. Y/N’s hands clung to his biceps, her nails digging into his tan skin as she tried to adjust herself to his length. Sweet Pea began to worry when she hadn’t said anything. but when her grip on his arm loosened and she told him it was okay to move he did.

Sweet Pea started out with slow, gentle strokes. The serpent may look tough and scary, but deep down he was just scared to hurt the love of his life. Y/N and Sweet Pea’s hands were intertwined, squeezing each other’s hands each time they moaned. Once Sweet Pea knew that Y/N was fully comfortable and used to the feeling of his large cock in her, he began to move faster. Y/N’s moans began to grow loudly, practically screaming as Sweet Pea thrusted into her cunt. He wasn’t being rough with her, he was just making sure that she was enjoying herself.

“Fuck, Pea, feels so good.” She mewled.

Sweet Pea grunted in response, snapping his hips against hers. “You’re doing so well for me, babygirl. Taking my cock so good.” He praised. Leaning down, he attached his lips to her neck, leaving small love bites at first and then sucking bright purple marks onto her skin. “So good for me, so happy I got to be your first.” He whispered as he pressed his forehead to hers, “I love you so fucking much.” Y/N just moaned in response, her hands scratching down his back as he continued to make love to her.

After a few more minutes of thrusting into her and praising her for how well she was doing, both Sweet Pea and Y/N were getting closer to their climaxes. Y/N felt that knot began to grow in her belly, causing her to buck her hips up to meet each of Sweet Pea’ thrusts. “’M close, baby.” She whimpered. The boy nodded and continued thrusting into Y/N until he felt her walls contract around his dick and he felt her cum fall onto his length. Y/N’s orgasm set of his own, causing his hips to still and cock to pulsate in her pussy. They both moaned at the feeling of him filling her up.

When they had fallen from their high Sweet Pea gently pulled from her pussy and got up, going to the bathroom and getting a damp cloth to clean her up. Y/N was breathing heavily as she smiled to herself. Sweet Pea came back with a cloth and began to clean Y/N up, being gentle as he wiped her clean.

“How do you feel baby?” He asked as he crawled under the covers and laid with her. “I wasn’t too rough with you, was I?”

Y/N smiled and shook her head, “No, no of course not.” She pecked his cheek, “It was perfect, you were perfect.” Y/N yawned and snuggled up against Sweet Pea’s chest, “I love you so much.” She mumbled, exhaustion taking over in her voice and laying her to rest in his arms. Sweet Pea smiled as he watched Y/N sleep peacefully. He loved his girlfriend so much, he would do anything for her.

The next few weeks went by smoothly, Y/N and Sweet Pea now constantly trying to find time to please one another. It wasn’t that Y/N was addicted to sex, she just felt more confident in herself and the fact that she could please her boyfriend in more than one way.

One weekend, when Sweet Pea was going to wake Y/N up with morning sex, he was shocked to find Y/N hunched over the toilet vomiting her stomach out. Like any good boyfriend would do, Sweet Pea ran in and held her hair back and rubbed her back to calm her down. When she was done throwing up she leaned her head against Sweet Pea’s shoulder.

“Something’s wrong.” Y/N mumbled.

“What do you mean?” Sweet Pea asked as he stroked Y/N’s hair.

She sighed, “My period was supposed to start two days ago.” Her eyes gazed up at her boyfriend, “I’m not on the pill, and I know we didn’t and haven’t worn a condom when we have sex, but-” She let out a breathe, “Pea, I think I’m Pregnant.” Y/N’s voice was wavering, almost like she was about to cry. In her head, she thought that if she got pregnant that Sweet Pea would ditch her or that she’d be a horrible mother, or that they couldn’t give their child the life they deserve. All of her thoughts were making her want to vomit again.

“How? I mean, you- you don’t your pregnant or not.” Sweet Pea said nervously.

“We live together. You can’t blame this on anyone else.” She said. “Are you going to leave me?” She whispered, tears now filling her eyes and spilling down her cheeks. “If I’m pregnant, are you going to leave me?”

Sweet Pea’s eyes widened and he shook his head quickly, wiping away his girlfriend’s tears. “No, no I would never leave you baby, never.” He said, holding her face in his hands, “I made a promise to you that I would never leave you, I plan on keeping that promise.” He assured her. Y/N nodded slowly and closed her eyes. Sweet Pea pressed his lips to her forehead softly, keeping them there for a few extra seconds before pulling away. “Why don’t you brush your teeth and I’ll make you something to eat, yeah?” He asked softly. Y/N nodded and the two stood up. He walked out of the bathroom and headed to the kitchen to get them something to eat. Y/N brushed her teeth, blinking away the rest of the tears in her eyes.

Y/N went back to their room and laid under the covers, holding the warm sheets to her chest. She was so scared about whether or not she was pregnant, but there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that she wasn’t. When Sweet Pea came back into the room he gave her a small smile and kissed the top of her head. “Thought you may just like some cereal.” He said as he handed her a bowl full of her favorite breakfast cereal. She gave him a sad smile and slowly began to eat.

“I’m sorry.” She muttered after a few minutes of silence. Sweet Pea looked at her as if she as crazy, not knowing what she was apologizing for. “I don’t want to fuck up your life with having a kid, I never wanted to ruin your life, I’m so so sorry.” Y/N cried.

Sweet Pea took the bowl of cereal and placed it on their nightstand then pulled her close to him. “Don’t say that, you have never and will never ruin my life.” He reassured her, “I don’t mind having a kid, in fact I want a kid with you. I want a long, happy life with the woman I love.” He said smiling, “Think about it. The little patter of children in our home.” He kissed the top of her head, “You haven’t ruined my life, or yours, we’ve just started our life together.”

“Are you even ready for a kid?” Y/N asked as she looked up at him.

Sweet Pea chuckled, “I think we’ll be ready, we always are.”

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smolboiseavey · 5 years

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Music tag (!!)

I got tagged by the wonderful @starlightsivann :)))) they’re great so GO FOLLOW THEM

Rules: Put your entire library on shuffle, write the first ten songs, and tag ten victims. No cheating.

1. Hello ~ PRETTYMUCH: honestly this song is such a BOP (!!) I was actually soooo obsessed with their EP when it came out, and I still listen to them a lot. Definitely a great jam for the summer or if you want a moodbooster

2. Good Girls ~ 5 Seconds Of Summer: OMG this is such a throwback!!! I used to be SUPER into 5SOS when I was little (back when She Looks So Perfect was on the radio, I was like 9!) then I dropped them for a bit before rediscovering them around when Want You Back came out. Seriously, their music is so good.

3. bitches broken hearts ~ Billie Eilish: I love the vibe of this song and of Billie’s work in general, she’s honestly one of my favorite artists ever. The first time I listened to this, I honestly fell in love. It’s definitely one of those songs that I listen to while I read or for calm and long night time car rides. It combines her soothing voice and her use of hard bass so well but it keeps the vibe alive with the piano in the song. So good, would definitely recommend if you haven’t listened to it yet.

4. Different Colors ~ Walk The Moon: when their album TALKING IS HARD was a thing, OMG that was like all I listened to. I listened to Walk The Moon so much when I was in middle school, along with tons of other alternative and rock bands I grew up with. My dad’s favorites are all rock, emo and alternative so it’s definitely a sound I’ve been familiar with for my entire life.

5. Friend, Please ~ Twenty One Pilots: would this list even be complete without a TØP song?? I was almost as obsessed with them in middle school as I am with Why Don’t We now, still am honestly lol. They’re music is so meaningful but they keep it catchy in a weird new pop alternative rap kind of thing. Definitely another one of my favorites (also I’m pretty sure I haven’t listened to this song since like 2016 haha)

6. The Phoenix ~ Fall Out Boy: FOB is one of the bands I grew up with (I listened to emo music before I was even emo LOL) because of my dad, and honestly I love their music. Do I listen to them now as much as I used to? No, but I definitely will still break them out every once in a while to jam to. Their style is more of the down and dirty instruments kind of band, unlike bands now, and it’s definitely a style I still love.

7. I Depend on You ~ Why Don’t We: this list SERIOUSLY would not be complete without my favorite band of ALL TIME!! (I, of course, know all the words to all their songs 😁)Why Don’t We Just is lowkey SO underrated, but it’s definitely one of my favorites. It shows off their vocals well but still keeps their original style. I found them around when the Something Different EP came out and honestly they’ve helped me soooo much. I was going through some rough shit, and while it’s cliche, they definitely helped pull me out. I Depend on You is a fr bop, listen to it if you haven’t already.

8. American Beauty/American Psycho ~ Fall Out Boy: omg another one! I’m not surprised tbh lol. This song has such a good vibe, definitely find myself head banging to it every once in a while. While FOB is technically an emo band, I listen to them whenever I want to listen to upbeat music haha.

9. Nobody Gotta Know ~ Why Don’t We: are any of us surprised that there’s another wdw song? No. This song is another favorite, and reminds me of the beginning of the band and how things used to be. Sometimes I wish I could turn back time and relive that era again, because in my opinion it will always be the best. Also, the MUSIC VIDEO IS TOO CUTE (!!) props to old Logan for coming up with the idea. I can’t deny the fact that he honestly is a good filmmaker. Obviously, because he gets the views. Back when he wasn’t a crazy hated person, I definitely looked up to him when it came to making videos. I still do honestly, I don’t know how he’s STILL going. It’s admirable, even though he’s done such bad things.

10. There’s No Way ~ Lauv ft. Julia Micheals: this song is so gorgeous, and such a good way to end. I love (or lauv haha) Lauv’s music. The fact that he writes, produces and creates all his own music is so inspiring, and his vibe is really really amazing. His album too, I met you when I was 18, is one of my favorite albums ever. He’s such an underrated but inspiring artist. TOO good. He’s definitely effected my own style with music.

I added commentary too like last time (sorry if it’s a bit much, I really REALLY love music) and if you want to see all my songs and playlists, here’s my Spotify! (Also don’t mind the user it’s my dad’s old acc lol)

https://open.spotify.com/user/1foxsay1?si=2SqLex2sQ7uwWFGGBWu1TA

I make a new playlist every time I cap at 50 songs (I’m on part 8 uwu) so if you want to listen to those, feel free! Also, please drop your Spotify accounts if you use the platform too, I want to see what you guys listen to :))

Oh, and I’m tagging @katie-avery @seaveyssparkle @poutybrock @bjbesson and @gracenadinelimelight :))

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xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx · 6 years

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I Lied - Frank Iero x Reader

Request: could u please do like maybe a punk!frank high school au fic? with like idk angst i guess.... thank u!! ur lovely ;)

Word count: 3 466

Being friends with Frank was always spending the breaks together with his arm flung over your shoulder, sitting next to each other in every class, never caring about the evil stares and always ready to tell each other a joke.

Being friends with Frank were sleepovers and watching movies until the early hours of the morning before falling asleep in the same bed or cuddled together on a couch.

Being friends with Frank was sitting in detention together because he spoke his mind in class and got detention and when you said that this was unfair you also got detention. It was a tradition by now.

Being friends with Frank also were rides in his old car, windows down, riding through the night and feeling infinite to the sound of your favorite bands. It was standing on a hill in the middle of nowhere, shouting lyrics at each other, dancing around and feeling powerful enough to take on the entire world. It was sinking down on your knees, when you were out of breath, high from the adrenaline flooding through your veins and slowly finding calm comfort of knowing you would always be there at each other’s side.

Being with friends with Frank was mostly loud and rebellious, it was you going to every single one of his concerts, sitting backstage on a table and dangling your feet to the rhythm of the guitar riffs or the drums.

It were his puppy dog eyes when he needed help sewing a new patch to his jacket, and sweets snuck into your locker to surprise you.

It was the exchange of annoyed looks on the sports field when you both had to do things you hated and/ or sucked at. It was him finding you crying behind the school after physical education, because girls continued making fun of you when you were not good at what you had to do. It was him wrapping you in his beloved, patches covered jeans jacket, taking you in his arm and guiding you back inside, daring the others to make fun of you again.

It was you stopping him from beating up bullies who took the sandwiches from younger students, even though they would have deserved it, but you did not want Frank to get into trouble.

It was exchanging foods at lunch you did not like; he got your olives and you got his green beans.

Being friends with Frank was sitting on the small sofa in your room on Sunday evenings, knees pulled up to your chests, quietly imagining which horrors school would confront you with this time. It was wiping tears of each other’s cheeks, assuring each other that live would get better, even if you did not believe it yourselves. It was feeling lost in the small room and being unimportant in the big, wide world.

It was helping Frank when he had an anxiety attack that made him curl into a tiny ball, sitting on the floor and shaking. You would wrap your arms around him, hold him tight and stroke his hair until he had calmed down.

It was getting him out of bed when nothing else would because his depression was kicking him down again.

It was sitting in silence next to each other, taking comfort in knowing you were not alone.

Being friends with Frank was sometimes silent.

Being in love with Frank was different. It was your heart racing every time he touched you, breath hitching every time you saw him. It was the urge to touch his hair when he was asleep or cuddle into him. It was heartbreak when you were falling asleep on your own, because you knew that nothing in the world would make it possible for you to be with Frank.

And it was guilt. Guilt because you knew you lied every time you promised to tell each other everything. You did not want to lie to Frank, but you could not tell him either. You were terrified he would find out one day and that he would hate you for it. You could not lose your closest, your best, your only friend over a stupid, stupid crush.

Sometimes you could forget that you were in love with him, or pretend that he was in love with you too, that this story would have a happy end, at least while he was with you, while you only had to extend your hand and could feel him by your side. You lived for the moments in which you could be carefree at his side, the moments he treated you like you were the only one in the world that mattered for him. But you died in the moments in which you were alone and realized that it was only friendship, that once you were done with high school, you would probably never see each other again. Your heart broke over realizing that after graduation he would go on tours to pursue his music career while you would go to college. Sometimes your mother checked on you to see why you were crying in the middle of the night. She brought hot chocolate and asked why you did not talk to Frank about it, since she did not know about how much in love you were with him and how impossible it was for you to reveal that to him. So you told her he could not help, and she patted your back until you had cried yourself to sleep.

~*~

It was already late at night. You sat on Frank’s bed, legs crossed, humming the tune of one of his songs that was stuck in your head. You could hear the shower running in the bathroom. You had been to one of his concerts again and because it was late he had offered you to stay over, as always. Now he was taking a quick shower while you ran your fingers over his blankets, trying to stop the spinning thoughts in your mind. You did your best to focus on the pattern on the sheets, pushing the thoughts of Frank’s bare, wet chest out of your mind. One day you would probably go crazy over the boy. The image of his dripping, black hair appeared in front of you. Quickly you focused back in the pattern on the blanket. It was okay to have these thoughts when you were alone in your bed, as okay as it could be to imagine your best friend like that, someone who you were supposed to have a completely platonic relationship with. But you could not think about these things while he was next doors. You sighed quietly and let your eyes wander over the walls of his room. There were still the same band posters you had known for years and a few newer ones as well. An amplifier stood in the corner of the room next to one of Frank’s guitars. On the window above his desk he had written lyric ideas with white-board pen. In one of the corners was a small doodle of a dog. His wardrobe was covered in photographs. Some of them were pictures he had taken at concerts, some were of him on stage and over the last time there were more and more pictures of you as well. He loved to take pictures with you in them. Sometimes he spent hours staging a picture, sometimes he just pulled out the camera and took a quick snap. You stood up, curiously scanning the collection of pictures of you he had put up. There was one from the rehearsal for drama, in which you stared absentmindedly into the spotlight. Another one was from the performance of the play. It captured a moment in which you had to throw a plate across the stage. Your face was contorted with anger, the plate was shattering on the floor into a thousand pieced and the light made each one of your stray hairs shine. The picture was amazing, and if you had not been the person portrayed, you would have even liked it. The next picture you noticed had been taken by one of Frank’s bandmates. Frank was hugging you tightly right before his new band Pency Prep, in which he was lead singer, played their first show ever. There were a few more pictures of you with the band, laughing backstage or during rehearsals. One picture had been taken by you and Frank together when you were sitting in his garden and played around with his new camera. Another one was from a BBQ both of you had attended. His one arm was wrapped around your waist loosely, both of you were laughing. You smiled at the picture and ran your fingers over the smooth surface before you noticed something else that drew your attention to it. It was a picture on the bottom corner of the wardrobe. It took you a moment to realize that it was a picture of you sleeping in his car, probably you had fallen asleep after one of the car rides. Frank must have had taken the photo before waking you up. You bent down to inspect it further, but in that moment the water in the bathroom was shut off and you quickly stood back up, your heart pounding slightly too fast from the discovery you had made. You wondered why he kept a picture of you sleeping on his wardrobe, without having it shown to you earlier.

When Frank exited the bathroom, you were sitting on his bed again. He wore a shirt and sweaters, just like the clothes he had given to you so you did not have to sleep in your day clothes. His hair was still damp from the shower and his face red from the hot water.

“Sooo,” he jumped onto the mattress next to you, sitting down, “What do we do now?”

You looked up at him, still wondering about the picture, but you decided not to mention it.

“I don’t know, you were the one insisting that I come over…” you looked at him with wide eyes, expecting him to suggest something, but he just let himself fall on his back and stared against the ceiling.

“My mind is blank,” he told you. After a few moments of silence he spoke up again. “Have you ever wondered if life is just passing by us without us noticing? We could change so much in the world, but we just sit in school and rot.”

He sat back up and stared at you wide eyed.

“Sometimes… but I mean… I really don’t do anything to change the world…” you stared back at him, trying to find the right words. “But you, you make music, right? You play in a band, you make a difference.”

“You think?” Frank looked at you proudly. “Wow, that is really a nice compliment.”

“It’s true,” you told him with a smile. You sometimes saw the kids in the crowds he was playing to. They loved the music, and if they were anything like you, the music carried them through the day until they were safe from whatever was haunting them.

Frank continued staring at you, nervously biting his lower lip. “Have you ever kissed anyone?”

You glance snapped back up at him and you felt a blush rise into your cheeks. “You know I haven’t,” you answered confused. Of course he knew, why was he asking? His question made you dizzy and your heart pound painfully.

“Neither have I…”

“I know, so what?” You tilted your head and looked at him, hoping for an explanation.

“I was just wondering…” now it was his turn to blush, “you know, most people at our age have kissed someone and… I mean it would be embarrassing to kiss the person you like for the first time and you really suck at kissing.”

You furrowed your brows. You had thought about that too, but because you always thought about kissing Frank and you knew that he had no experience either, you had never worried about it.

“Who are you planning on kissing,” you asked instead, trying to sound playful.

“Nobody!” Frank grew even redder. “I just thought, maybe… we could try it out, you and me, you know?”

You could have sworn your heart stopped in that moment. Was he really asking to kiss you?

“Come again?”

“I mean, we could try and tell each other what we liked and what we didn’t like and that way…” he was waving his hands around helplessly.

Your mind was spinning. You wanted to kiss Frank really, really badly. But you did not want it to be just like that, you wanted him to like you the same way you liked him. And you were certain that if you kissed him without your feelings being returned, there would be an awkward tension between the two of you until the end of time. An awkward tension you did not want. So if you had to die without ever having kissed Frank Iero, but with an intact friendship, that was the way it was going to happen.

“I don’t think I want that,” you told him hesitantly.

The disappointment on his face was visible immediately, even though he tried to hide it.

“Oh,” he whispered, clearly ashamed. His shoulders sunk down and he lowered his gaze on the mattress.

Great, now this was even more awkward. You waited for him to say something but he kept quiet. Maybe you should just kiss him; at least the awkward tension of the moment would be gone, maybe. But it would be even worse later. You shimmied uneasily around for a moment and were about to speak up, just to say something, anything, when Frank suddenly spoke up.

“You know how we always promise to tell each other everything, no secrets and stuff?” His eyes were still fixed on the blanket in front of him while he fiddled around with the hem of his shirt.

“Yeah,” you mumbled, scared that Frank had picked up on your feelings for him.

“I’ve been lying to you,” he suddenly admitted, his eyes finally meeting yours.

You tilted your head slightly, asking wordlessly what he had been lying about.

“I’ve always told you how much you mean to me as a friend, but I’ve never told you that I actually love you and that the only reason I started talking to you in middle school was because I had a huge crush on you. And then I got to know you and you became my best friend and all the while I was still pinning for you and I know this changes everything, I’m completely okay if you don’t wanna be friends anymore and I know things will probably never go back to how they used to be, but I just can’t do this anymore, you know?”

He looked at you, eyes pleading you to understand him, to let him down gently, but your mind was too occupied putting the puzzle pieces together.

“Is that why you took a photo of me sleeping,” you wondered.

Frank groaned quietly, covered his face with his hands and sunk back on the mattress without answering.

You thought about a way to best confront him about your own feelings.

“You know, you might be right, things will probably never go back how they used to be.” Your voice was calm and you could see Frank pulling his knees slightly towards his chest.

“Maybe you should leave,” he told you, his voice monotone.

You pretended not to have heard him. “But I really wanna stay friends, if that’s okay with you.”

You sat up from the blanket and crawled to Frank until you were over him. His face was still hidden by his hands and you were not sure if he was crying or just listening quietly. Anyway you were pretty sure he wanted to be anywhere but here right now.

“We could, of course, be a bit more than friends,” you told him, surprised by how calm your own voice was.

It felt like your body was moving without you ordering it to. It just carefully pulled Frank’s tense hands away from his beautiful face, while on the inside you were totally freaking out. He looked surprised at you words, eyes widened and lips slightly parted. The blush was still burning on his cheeks.

“And considering I lied to you too, about my feelings for you, I’d like to take back the ‘I don’t wanna kiss you’ part and actually do it.”

Frank’s eyes scanned over your face, then he leant up and connected your mouths, your eyes fluttered shut. You were both shaking slightly at the foreign sensation. His lips were warm and soft against yours. For a moment it felt like you were frozen in spot, too overwhelmed by what was happening to react in any way. You felt him place a hand at your waist, a gesture you were used to, but this time it sent a bolt of electricity through your system, making you shiver slightly. With one swift motion he turned the two of you around so he was on top. You caught a glimpse of him smiling before he leant back down to you, connecting the kiss again. This time he seemed to have more courage and slightly moved his lips against yours. Since you had no idea what you were supposed to do, you just copied his movements. You were fascinated by how gentle he was and how perfectly your lips fit together. Your insides felt fuzzy as you wrapped your fingers into his still damp hair. It was really soft and his curls perfectly rolled around your finger. Your heart leapt into your throat as you felt his tongue press against your lips slightly. You left him hanging for a while before you opened your mouth for him. You could feel him smile into the touch and relished the feeling of his hands at both of your sides, holding you gently in place. For a while you let him explore your mouth with his tongue before you got too curious yourself. He fought for dominance for a few seconds before giving in, allowing you to kiss him deeply yourself. It was a strange feeling, but strange in the best of ways. It was warm and wet, soft but also strong and the taste of his lips almost blew your mind. You wished you could taste him like that forever while your nose was filled with his delicate scent and your hands wrapped into his beautiful hair. The tiniest of moans escaped him before he took back control, gaining confidence and kissing you harder than before, pressing you into the mattress, trying to balance his bodyweight so he would not crush you.

You only noticed how breathless you were, when he pulled away and rolled off to the side. A giggle escaped both of you while you were trying to catch your breaths. You turned to face him, his cheeks were flushed a beautiful red, his perfect lips were slightly swollen and crimson. A smile played around on the corners of his mouth and you could tell that he was as high on adrenaline as you were, but exhausted at the same time. He extended his hand and ran his fingers over your cheek, a grin lighting up his face.

“You’re blushing,” he told you, his hand wandering from your cheek to your hair, softly stroking it.

“You should see yourself,” you told him cockily and he giggled.

“Sooo… does that mean you like me?” he asked hopefully.

“I just kissed you until I almost fainted from lack of oxygen, I think it’s safe to say, I do.”

He giggled again and you knew he was about to say something really stupid. “Ugh, (y/n) likes a boy,” he mocked.

“Oh god, Frankie,” you playfully hit his arm, making him giggle even harder.

“Guess what, I like you too,” he whispered, suddenly serious again.

He pulled you close to him, until your chest was resting against his. He nuzzled his face into your hair, breathing in your scent, humming softly. You placed your cheek against his shoulder, listening to his heartbeat and breathing. The last thing you registered was how he pressed a soft kiss against your forehead before sudden tiredness overwhelmed you and you fell asleep in his warm embrace. He felt you relax to his touch and how your breath got even. Sleepily he closed his eyes, his heart skipping a few more beats when he reminded himself of what was just happening before sleep overwhelmed the young musician as well and he was gently covered by the soft blanket of restorative slumber.

#fanfiction #fanfic #Frank Iero #frank iero fluff #frank iero x reader #romance #punk!frank #high school #high school au

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instantlit · 6 years

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Book review: Radio Silence

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Summary: Frances Janvier spends most of her time studying. When she’s not studying, she’s up in her room making fan art for her favorite podcast, Universe City.

Everyone knows Aled Last as that quiet boy who gets straight As. But no one knows he’s the creator of Universe City, who goes by the name Radio Silence. When Frances gets a message from Radio Silence asking if she’ll collaborate with him, everything changes. Frances and Aled spend an entire summer working together and becoming best friends. They get each other when no one else does. But when Aled’s identity as Radio Silence is revealed, Frances fears that the future of Universe City—and their friendship—is at risk. Aled helped her find her voice. Without him, will she have the courage to show the world who she really is? Or will she be met with radio silence?

Rating: ★★★★★ - If you’ve ever been a teenager, you’ll get it.

Full review under the cut!

“In Distress. Stuck in Universe City. Send help.”

Well, I had a fantastic time reading this book.

And to think that I almost didn't read this. I almost missed out on Radio Silence, like WTF!

Seriously, STOP WRITING SYNOPSES THAT MAKE THE BOOK SOUND LIKE SOME GOOEY CLICHÉD ROMANCE FFS THAT'S SUCH A TURN OFF!!!!! I'm so mad!

Now, let me scream at you enthusiastically inform you about all the reasons why Radio Silence is an excellent book.

➽ It's an incredibly feel-good book. One of the reasons I went through this book so quickly is because I was just happy to be here, happy to read this story, to share this journey with the characters. I was never bored and, even though it's not an action-driven book and the short chapters don't end with cliffhangers, the story is still extremely compelling, and it makes you want to keep going.

“I can take a little beating now and then, old sport, believe me. I've been in this City fr as long as I can remember, it seems. This hardly qualifies as a distress call anymore - by gods, if anyone was listening, I would have heard from you by now. I can take a little beating now and then. I'm a tough one. I'm a star. I'm steel-chested and diamond-eyed.”

Now, I'm not saying that it's fluffy all the way through, there's an undercurrent of mystery, plus you definitely know that something dark is going on with Aled (can we talk about how University City is basically a metaphor for his mother? Or maybe not, because it just makes me want to rip my eyeballs out) which gives gravitas to the story but still manages to balance it perfectly with light-heartedness.

To me, it makes a perfect summer-read.

➽ Frances is a brilliant protagonist. She's just brilliant, period. Girl, you get me:

“[...] but I really didn't want to go. Firstly, everyone was just gonna get drunk, which I could do perfectly well by myself in my den while watching Youtube videos instead of having to worry about catching the last train home or avoiding sexual assault.”

I just love her so much because of everything that makes her who she is on the page: her awkwardness, her nerdiness (more on that later), her drive, her iinsecurities, her love. She keeps saying that she's a loner and doesn't get along with most people, but she's such a generous person when people make the effort of scratching the flimsy façade.

She's someone who struggles a lot with the pressure she puts on herself, and the expectations that she has about how her life should be, so she's not someone who opens up easily but, under that, she's worth it. She's the Samwise Gamgee, she's the Hermione Granger, she's just the kind of person you should want around.

“And my drawings were all pointless anyway. It wasn't like I could sell them. It wasn't like I could share them with my friends. It wasn't like they'd me into Cambridge.”

➽ It's ALL ABOUT THE FRIENDSHIPS! I know not everyone is all romance-repulsed as I am, but you have no idea how good it feels to have a story where, first of all, there's very little romance, and second of all, the focus is on the friendship. Like, friendship is actually the whole plot of the book! How great is that?

The relationship between Aled and Frances is the most precious thing. I also loved the characters who hooked themselves along the way because they make a really wholesome and heart-warming little band. Absolutely loved the banter as well. As "diverse group of friends who are more like family" is definitely a trope I'm into, this group checks all my boxes.

Just look at them!

Also, cookie points for the amazing mother-daughter relationship. Frances' mother is the boss and their relationship is just #GOALS.

➽ There's real racial and sexual diversity, and it's done brilliantly. The little bonus is that everything is nicely labelled. I know that some people don't adhere to the whole label-thing, but it's nice when an author doesn't shy away from these words. The second little bonus is that "demi-sexuality" is written, black on white, and I think it's magical.

I also love that none of it is the whole point of the book, there are "coming-out moments", which just naturally happen when you become friends with someone new. These moments are generally received with a shrug, like it's no big deal. To me, the whole thing feels really organic and, at least so far, kind of reflect every interaction of this type that I've ever experienced.

➽ I'm going to write this next point exactly how I wrote it on my phone while I was taking notes: "they're all giant nerds omg uwu" And it's woven into the story so well, too. It's all in the details: it's in the way they decorate their rooms, in their clothes and accessories (like, who doesn't have one object/piece of clothing with their Hogwarts House on it?)... They don't have to talk non-stop about Harry Potter or Avengers, it's all the little things that are integral parts of their lives. So, props to Alice Oseman for doing it right.

➽ It is so, so very relatable. I never know how these types of books will fare in the future, because they're so full of current pop-culture references, of memes and social media that are so quickly outdated (I mean, Vine is mentioned, and it's already ancient history), they're so anchored in their time that they're immensely fun to read in the moment.

Fortunately, the message remains the same. I seriously would have loved to read this book when I was 17 but, even so, there are so many moments that made me reminisce or that are still true: the whole fandom side of Tumblr is still very familiar to me, the breaking down because you're putting too much pressure on yourself and you just can't fucking write this particular essay (*sigh* good times...), the whole Cambridge interview was so relatably cringey, it gave me war flashbacks.

It's maybe a little over-dramatic at times, with a large dose of miscommunication, but those are the only flaws I could find, so who cares?

It's a fantastic book and, if you've ever been a teenager, Radio Silence will get to you, and you will get it in return.

#alice oseman #radio silence #5 stars #reviews

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dozer-moved · 6 years

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this is a dumb post you can skip it if you want.

hey i’m finally gonna do this. i’m gonna fully gush about my favorite piece of art of all time. something that has permanently left a mark on me in the best way. if you actually do read this like, like it because i want to know who’s reading me ramble for this long. the whole post is under the cut so if you don’t want to, just scroll right past and don’t in.teract please!

okay so i’ve been sitting here slowly tearing up as everything in the last chapter of my life has been swirling around me in a cacophony so i’d thought i’d put my thoughts down in a positive way by associating things with my absolute favorite body of work any musician has ever put out, gush about it, and also kinda be a little bit more personal for once.

forgive me for never shutting up about this album but it’s Dearest Everybody by Inara George.

now like for a bit of context, i’d never been a fan of folk music or it’s peer genres for quite a while. it’s always been too slow and structureless and overall just felt like a giant sappy waste of time. i’d gotten into Inara’s work with her band The Bird and the Bee in between the months of january and like, march or april (which is very pop) so I wasn’t expecting her solo work to be folk-y, piano pop with a bit of country influences. that being said, this album won my heart so quickly and has slowly just become the no contest de facto winner of the “what’s my favorite album of all time” challenge that i haven’t been very quiet about how much i like this album.

as long as we’re being honest i feel stupid for liking this enough to even make this post let alone talk about it to other people. i don’t know. i’m not a big fan of sharing my interests with others, as they’ve been used to ridicule me or been “ruined” for me in the past, so i tend to keep to myself.

this album is special to me tho. in so many ways.

i’ll just do a full breakdown track by track?

1. Young Adult. so this track is the intro, and it starts off with this welcoming chord and syncopated bass. immediately the lyrics paint a picture of a young person knowing they want to follow their gut and do what they think they should, no matter what it is. in the context of the lyrics, it’s following Inara’s father and becoming a musician, but i like to think of it as just being general and applicable to anyone? the chorus and second verse talk about young adult’s cynicism, depression and sarcastic nature while also showing their curiosity and natural drive, whether right or wrong, on the “what do i know? what do i know? i know i want to see where this thing will go” line. i love all of this because it’s highkey relatable! i’m turning 20 this year and i’m not going to lie, a lot of this hits so close to home. i love the almost stubborn nature of the aforementioned “i know i want to see where this thing will go” line, it has this “i’ll show you” type of demeanor about it and i think it just works into the idea of a young adult trying to show that they’re independent and know what’s right for them. the whole song swells as it goes on and all the layers are so simple, yet add so much.

2. Crazy. this song is a lot more personal to Inara, and while i have official confirmation of what the song is about, i won’t be sharing it, at least unprompted, out of respect for her. the song has this very, uneven walk about it? i love the opening lyrics about grass coming up to your knees, and everyone stopping visiting. i’m highkey almost a hermit myself, and these lyrics are very me. the whole song is about loving someone and putting all your energy into them, so much so that you go crazy. i can’t exactly relate to this feeling as it is, but i love how the chorus soars. the background ambiance on this track is also amazing, it adds so much to the immersion of like, walking around in the tall grass. this whole album sounds and paints images as clear as photographs, you can get every single detail out of the soundscape, and it sends chills down my spine every time. i love Inara’s little vocal chime bits? especially when they echo off-beat and just add to the immersion. the whole song has this atmosphere i can’t get enough of, it’s stunning. i love the ending eerie, almost croaking cello. so perfect.

3. Somewhere New. this song starts off with these beautiful vocal melodies, and immediately the vibe has perked up. i absolutely love all the little horn touches on this track. the amount of care that went into the production on these tracks is insane. when Inara gets into the “live it up” part, i love how the sound becomes almost waltz-like? it becomes soaring, and airborne, and yet still has so much movement. i love the clapping and the reintroduction of the vocal riff after the chorus too. it makes the whole song have this liveliness about it, i can’t get enough. the lyrics go into this innate, unwavering, unavoidable desire to go somewhere new. i keep making this about me but i legitimately relate so much. there have been a lot of times i’ve almost just walked out of my house, leaving everything behind to just, explore and find something new. it feels like an inherent desire sometimes, that you can’t avoid. the end of the track has these squeaking metallic noises and i love them for unexplainable reasons.

4. Take Me to Paris. this song is so, so intimate and minimalist. the simple 6th harmonies, the minor cadence before the next section. i love Inara’s vocal runs before the final parts of the verses. and the “run naked through the streets” part. the whole song is so small, so spacey, and yet so warm and tender. each part of this track just compliments the others so much and it climaxes in the most calm way with the “and make you love me even more than you do” parts. the whole song just is this incredibly effective, simple composition and structure, and yet it works so well. the chord progressions are so amazing here too. i absolutely love the way it almost feels like the song pans up to the sky with each section ending. you get this immense feeling of vastness but it’s so close and personal that it feels yours. this track originally flew over my head but each time i relisten to it, it just reinforces how special it is.

5. A Bridge. an entirely acapella track! this track is, in my opinion, the least accessible. the structure and lack of production can be a bit off-putting, but i still love it. i feel like this is the moment where the “paris” mentioned previously falls away, where it’s just Inara and the person she’s speaking to in these tracks, the pure intimacy of it all shines through so well. i really love the backing vocals texture in this track. like honestly i didn’t even notice it was all acapella during my first time listening to it. i was too busy listening to Inara and the vocals covered the bases they had to. i love the vocalization in the “you open up to anything... will you tell me?”, it feels so fitting and i can’t put into words how it sounds to me.

6. Slow Dance. the album picks up again! this track was one of my first favorites from this, and for good reason! i love the themes across this album of identity, change and looking back on yourself. the sound of this song honestly makes me feel like you’re flying down a dirt road, or on a cargo train or something. i love how the chorus suspends around the opening and then swirls around Inara’s vocals and create this immense motion around it all. i haven’t been talking about the lyrics much, have i? sorry omg i’m really bad at this. i love the little chord changes at the end of the chorus too. like honestly this whole album is so good compositionally, production-wise AND lyrically, it’s really hard for me to put my thoughts together about everything. i really love the “the end is the beginning” lyrics, it feels like it’s a new start, and that’s because it is. OH YEAH i love the “though they say youth is wasted on the young, we never could have lasted through those nights, through streets and stars, knowing what we know now” part. it can be so shocking to look back on what you used to say and do and act and EXIST in, and believe you did and had no problem with it. they say hindsight is 20/20, but i think this song is about acknowledging the fact you can’t change the past, and doing what you can while you still have the time to.

7. All for All. this track is really hard for me to put into words. i love it just the same as the rest, but my feelings on it are really hard to put together. i always interpolate the lyrics of standing with the sun on my face, and your words in my mind into the next track, and the sound feels like a lighter, more bouncy version of slow dance. it’s a really good transition between the two but in all honesty it can be hard to parse this one from either of them, but that’s more on me for how i remember the tracks, rather than for how they were designed. Inara’s explanation of what this track meant was also very eye opening, i won’t reveal it again out of privacy respect but i definitely did not get the intended meaning from it, and it made a lot more of the lyrics that i thought were random mean something more. i honestly realize as i’m typing this that this song is the old soul manifested in slow dance, looking back on its life. the song is about death, and i realize that now all for all is perhaps acknowledging how it’s time won’t last forever, and that’s why it goes into the next track.

8. Release Me. okay full disclosure, i really didn’t like this track at first. the verses were fine but the choruses always felt really cheesy and like, basic and they didn’t mesh with me at all. BUT, then i had a personal experience with this song. i’ve been writing to the tracks playing on loop this whole time, but i haven’t even started this song yet because i know i’m gonna tear up if i tell this story while it’s playing. the lyrics in the middle of the song (verse 2 onward) speak about wanting to be free of a ghost of someone, free of the past, free of what’s holding you back from living your life and being in a world that’s calling you out into the wide open experience. this, as people close to me know, hits super close to home. i’ve spent the last several years quite literally fighting to get haunting memories and lingering fragments of other people out of my psyche, and 2018 is the year i finally started doing it. i was standing on the beach last month, and while i was standing there, i couldn’t help but mouth the lines “now i wanna be the writer of this song, and a love, not just a longing, in a world that is just calling me to be free.” perhaps this doesn’t mean much to anyone else, but as someone who’s spent the last 2 or so years basically fighting for my sanity, my safety and my ability to trust people again, being able to finally look up, without the weights holding you down, it can be a pretty moving experience. there’s a whole story as to who and why and what went down to cause me to be like this, but all you need to know is that... perhaps even though these last few years have been a hell for me, that i’ve started looking upwards, i made it through the darkest part of the storm, and i can tough out the rest. that’s why this song means so much to me. i almost started crying earlier because i tried to explain it to a friend and i couldn’t put it into words right. it’s the entire reason i started doing this analysis. i wanted to put down why i love this work so much, how it changed me personally, and what it means to me. so here the fuck i am. as for the song itself? the production is simple yet efficient, the lyrics are great. i love the lines about being forever loving of someone, but not being able to forgive them for leaving you for so long. i also really love the lines about “some people don’t believe us, the things that have been spoken, would leave anyone heartbroken.” i’m not going to explain why but it’s a bit personal, all you need to know. i really like the vocal melody and the part “i’ve been the best, at doing the best that i can” because, i’ve been fighting and almost giving up for so long, and only just now am i getting a footing. the organ embellishments here are also super fucking good. the bridge is also heavenly. ok i’ll shut up now.

9. Stars. this track i still don’t quite completely understand. i love the vocal melody and simple production, the strings work so effectively. i love the line “be brave now, who will i be in the end?” it’ so effectively gets across a concept that not many people ever will have to face. “you know there’s no walking away now” you can’t walk away from a changing self. i honestly think the song is a bit of a reflection on not only the person listening’s self, but how people become and change as a whole. the unifying experience of changing and growing and becoming someone new, without ever realizing it. nihilism, sonder, all existential concepts about how not only we experience ourselves, but how everyone else experiences themselves too. the waltz rhythms all over this track, while simple, really work to this tracks advantage. the whole thing has this motion to it, i don’t think it would’ve in 4/4. it’s a track that manages to stay still and spin so much at the same time. mesmerizing.

10. Tusker 4. this and the next track are the first 2 songs i really got into on this record, and they’re both fantastic. i love the opening riff. the weird chord structure. the vocal background textures. i love the lyrics about all the things the subject has, from so much love, to car keys, to piles of dirt, to feelings hurt. it has this immense motion about it again, much like slow dance. this album doesn’t really let you sit still. even on tracks like stars, you can feel the world spinning still. the high background noises on this track add so much to the track while being barely audible, it’s so nice. the vocal backgrounding on “little hands / big demands / things i don’t need” is so nice. the chorus here soars again, this time like you’re holding hands with someone. spinning them around, so much love to give, so you do. i love the melodic minor esque chord structure with the majors on the upswings, minors on the downswings. it gives this all a very otherworldly vibe, and yet it still feels like it takes place in your backyard.

11. House on Valentine. favorite track. hands down. the brass here makes this song so much. i love the way how it’s organize and sounds. the lyrics are so nice. this song is everything i ever wanted. i won’t lie, even without the intended meaning, this song still works so well. you can get vibes of personal growth, change, being afraid of the unknown, and yet still brave to jump into it. moving on from someone, saying goodbye, goodnight for infinity. i love how this song sounds so, sub/urban and train-like almost? the production has this forward motion that you could almost hear a train over, and it feels so well for what it is. also the part where Inara’s vocals soar and the song is sprung into this perfectly still air, it’s fucking blissful as all hell. the goodbye choruses at the bridge? fucking incredible. everytime i hear that bridge, i get chills and goosebumps, it makes me so incredibly emotional. goodbye! goodbye! goodbye! it’s so cheery, you can feel the humanity bleeding out of every seam of it. you know the goodbyes are cheerful, but you know the person behind them is teary eyed and scared, just a bit. but not enough to stop them. say goodbye to the house on valentine, say goodnight for infinity.

12. Everybody. i love this track just the same. the ending of a perfect album and a flawless trilogy. the empty sound of it all, it’s after everybody has gone home. you are left alone with yourself and what we started with. it almost feels like a sonic parallel to crazy in a way. i absolutely love the “the space that i have made, the parts that i have played, it doesn’t go away, it doesn’t go away, i’ll never go away.” it feels like you’re driving out of the town this all took place in, looking back on the places you watched flourish and shine so bright, be so lively, and have so much memory attached to them. it doesn’t go away. it leaves you with a name, try to say it once a day. god i fucking love this song. it haunts you of everything this album stands for, and everything it represents. but not in a bad way, it makes sure you remember that you were there for it. you experienced everybody’s experiences, and even though the curtains of the play have been drawn, everyone said goodbye, it remains. it sticks with you. i’ll never go away.

in short, is it clear i love this fucking album now? i’m not going to review meditation, as it’s a vinyl only track and while, not filler, it’s all instrumental. i love the fact it’s so ethereal and spacey, it feels like you’re looking out into space the night after you went through all the photographs of everybody. their experiences will stay with you. or at least i hope so.

#mine #personal #okay actually personal post time #dont r-blog #read the intro before opening please!#long post #like really long

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lore-a-lie · 6 years

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Chapter 1, Act 6: Clair de Loon

Daily Life

Kaede finally got to take her seat at the piano. It feels like it’s been ages since she was last able to play, she hadn’t spent nearly enough time in her lab since it opened. She’s glad she left the gloves Tsumugi gave her in her bag, so she could enjoy the feel of the ivory keys at her fingertips. Feel the music flow through her, around her. She could hardly even notice anyone else around her in that moment.

Which is how the little mage managed to startle her so badly with her innocent interruption, and Kaede hit her knee against the underside of said piano something fierce.

“N-nyeh? Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, of course I am! What’s going on, sorry I kinda went in my own little world there for a bit.” (Nothing is okay. Everything is hell and it hurts.Why me? But I better keep smiling, so nobody needs to worry.)

“Nah, it’s okay. I do it all the time too.” (We’ve noticed. Not sure you aren’t still in it.)

“Is everything okay?”

“Y-yeah. Just wanted to tell you how pretty it sounded and thought me talking to you would be less jarring than Tenko since she’s headed this way. Sorry.”

“Kaede~ And Himiko! What do you think? Isn’t this cute~ I feel like a princess!” Tenko sing-songed right on cue, giving a twirl of a curtsy as she did. Not that Himiko was paying her any attention. (It would probably be cuter if I didn’t know her personality or need to worry about how she’d react to a guy agreeing.)

It was an elegant blue ball gown, the color not unlike her uniform’s. The dress’s ruffles even mimicked her normal skirt’s layered style, just to a much more modest degree. Her hair was done in a much more understandable set of buns too, tied with little green bows like the one large one she normally had.

“It’s beautiful on you Tenko. I didn’t know you’d be so comfortable in that sort of thing. Almost expected you in a suit like Himiko, for mobility or something.”

“Yeah, it looks great. And that reminds me…” Himiko began as an oddly serious expression came across her face. “Make fun of Kiyo’s clothes and I’ll hex you both. I mean it. I’ll use my “every time you sneeze you’ll think you’d had an accident” curse and everything, so you better be nice.”

“W-what sort of accident?! And what qualifies as “making fun of” for this? What did he do?!”

The tiny girl didn’t answer Tenko’s question as she ran off to have some words with… Maki? No, the hair wasn’t long enough for Maki. And she wasn’t anywhere near six feet tall-

Okay, now this just isn’t fair. (It is quite the relief though, I was worried it’d be something more drastic.)

Kiyo’s definition of “more comfortable” for the evening was apparently a red woman’s kimono with an orange and blue floral pattern, tied with an orange and green scale patterned obi. The mask was off as per Kokichi’s petty request, but aside from that and his hands, the dress covered nearly as much as his regular clothing did, though he had quite a heel on his brown zori. His hat was gone but he had taken his odd chain off its band to use in his hair for now.

AND HE’S ACTUALLY ATTRACTIVE NOW, THIS ISN’T FAIR! I’ve never been able to pull off even a simple yukata that well during the summer’s festival season, what gives? And why does Kiyo of all people look better like this than he does in his normal clothes!… Oh dear. Does this mean I didn’t know myself as well as I thought I did when I got up this morning? I was not ready to go through something like this today...

“Oh wow she looks amazing- W-wait, that’s not… Was Tenko mistaken in thinking Kiyo’s been another degenerate male this whole time?! Has this all been some sort of act? She is not okay with any of this!”

“Nope, he’s still definitely a guy, his sister even called him “little brother”. But I’m pretty sure the way I’m thinking about him right now is still a sign of something new and I don’t know how to feel about that either.”

“Not necessarily but thank you for the compliment.” The person in question's voice came from behind them in a needlessly cheery fashion, having lost Himiko to Angie. (HOLY SHIT HOW DOES HE STILL DO THE NINJA THING IN HEELS?!… HOW DOES HE WALK IN SHOES LIKE THOSE??? There is no justice in this world.)

Tenko’s squawk returned so it sounds like Kaede wasn’t the only one to forget how Kiyo could move like a ghost. Considering her misandry, reaction times, and combat experience it’s probably more impressive to shock her. Her responses are certainly more amusing and vocal, given how he’s gone into a giggle fit.

“... Why?” (Thank you Tenko for being able to restrain yourself to only one question. I wouldn’t.)

“I hardly saw a reason why not to give this a try. I thought it would be more interesting to see how I’d be received while looking like this. I don’t feel like... “myself” without my mask anymore I suppose, so why should I look like "myself" with it gone? Miss Shirogane’s eager acceptance and comparisons to her hobby’s notions regarding "crossplaying" were already pleasant surprises for this study.” (“Miss Shirogane” is oddly formal for him to use isn’t it?)

“Did she help you with the lipstick and eyeshadow too?”

“No, that’s my handiwork. A steady hand is infinitely useful when transcribing works you know. Did she help with your nails by chance?” (Too close! Stop getting distracted. Too. Fucking. Pretty- Wait what?)

“... Rantaro did actually. I almost forgot about that with everything that happened, Tsumugi had pulled me aside to try some nail art with me in the game room and after she used a pink “gradient” on mine he happened to pass by and thought this two-toned “French slant” might suit me better instead. It helps make them look longer he said, since I keep them short to make playing piano easier.” (And Tsumugi got super jealous that a “normie” like him upstaged her like that too, but I’ll keep that to myself for now.)

“Huh?! But they’re so cute, how did he know how to do this sort of stuff?” Tenko asked, and seemed to be having troubles actually processing this information.

“From helping his little sisters I presume? Sister needed some help with her own from time to time too.” (That explains his own nails, which are so much nicer than mine. He even managed to keep them longer than I do, those don’t look plastic! Doesn’t explain the scars poking out from his sleeves though. Gah, bad territory! Whether I’m feeling jealous or attracted to him is a much safer rabbit hole to go down than that is right now.)

“Sisters? I didn’t know he had more than one. Thought he had learned it from a girlfriend at first, to be honest, but yeah.” Kaede said with a somber smile which Kiyo seemed to have understood with the sympathetic look in his eyes as he gave a nod.

“He had a number as I understood it, but he lost contact with them and kept things rather vague. It came up when we talked about traveling, he was surprisingly experienced in that way. We even had some overlap in previous destinations. I wonder if it could have been related to his forgotten talent.” (Was Rantaro really offended when I thought he was some sort of playboy if his father was one? How else would you just lose contact with family but divorce issues?)

“I... never really talked to him at all come to think of it.” Tenko softly admitted, regret clear in her voice.

“Given your stance on men in general, this is far from surprising." Kiyo replied in a snide tone, before switching to one much more melancholy, "It is a shame how life works out, isn't it?”

“Kiyo! I leave you alone for 5 minutes and you manage to bring the mood down again. This isn’t exactly good for a “Lovely Assistant” you know, we’re supposed to be bringing smiles to people tonight!” Himiko’s apparently broken away from talking to Angie and pointed at him with a cross looking pout. (Hey, Kiyo’s not a “warlock” anymore! And at least the "lovely" thing isn't just me and Tenko. I hope this is a good sign, since she didn’t make him a "mage" too.)

“Ah, quite right. Now’s not the best time for bittersweet reminiscing, my apologies.” He said with a bow, as Tenko went off with Himiko and Angie. Which was all for the better considering how loud the person who was sashaying over to them was. In more ways than one.

“Hey dumpy tits what’s that face for- … OH COME ON!”

Nope, not even Miu’s sexy getup is enough to be better looking than Kiyo. Not sure if I’m hoping Kirumi can be the one to try and answer my dilemma. But I'm pretty sure if he didn’t start laughing again that would have been enough to set Himiko on her curse thing though. It’s sorta sweet how protective she’s being over this, given how they weren’t close before. And almost adorable given their huge height difference too, like a really weird set of siblings.

“Kukuku~ Not to worry, that’s a reaction I’m used to by now. So tell me your thoughts: Am I pretty?” (Of course, you fucking are you smugass sonuva- Oh wait I get it, this is from that one Yokai thing isn’t it?)

“Should you really be asking anyone that now when you’re not wearing the face mask?”

There’s that gleam in his eye he gets when someone finds the answer he’s looking for! It’s weird being able to see him smile along with it now, probably weirder than seeing him in lipstick and makeup like this honestly. Have his lashes always been this long? Something about his eyes looks different tonight- STOP CHECKING HIM OUT AND FOCUS DAMNIT, IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW NICE HE LOOKS RIGHT NOW!

“Issat one of your culture nerd things? Is that’s what’s happening here right now? Because if saying “yes” is a bad thing I ain’t touching it.” Miu huffed. (She’s pretty obviously jealous though. She keeps looking at his chest and then back at her own as if confused why her “girls” didn’t give her a bigger advantage here.)

“That’s fair, as there is often no “right” answer to the Kuchisake-onna’s query anyway.”

“The what now- ya’know what nevermind, maybe later. HEY KIBO YOU FORGOT SOMETHING!”

Miu quickly wandered off to the ‘bot, who… Didn’t look all that different aside from his hair being a little less poofy. Until his face changed colors after realizing how much leg her pink dress was exposing at any rate. Or because he noticed her plunging neckline instead, given how his height made him basically eye-level with the bottom of it. It was hard to tell as either would work in this situation, which suited Miu pretty well.

Her hair was much tamer than it usually is, though it was still a rather messy bun all things considered, but her “antenna” were quickly starting to come loose from how she’s almost dancing around him while randomly poking at certain areas. (Pressing buttons perhaps?)

Any questions about what she was trying to do were quickly cleared up as the areas that were normally glowing cyan on the robot started to cycle through colors. It was rather unsettling to see how his eyes could change to match, which is likely why she made them go back to his “natural” blue setting instead.

“Kiyo did realize I was kidding before right? About the hooke- OW, HEY!” (YOU. I BLAME YOU FOR THIS. And maybe thank you for it? I feel so conflicted right now. At least you still aren’t attractive to me.)

Sounds like Kokichi was cut off by a rough slap on his back by Ryoma who was sitting on the nearby railing, which would have easily looked like a friendly gesture between them to people just giving the two a glance and weren’t able to hear the context for it.

“Shut up man, just let him have his fun and don’t be a dick about it. Whatever makes him happy, who cares?... I’ve never even met anyone who actually knew how to put on that sorta thing before come to think of it. It’s interesting to see that bit of culture in person for a change. Makes a guy feel a bit underdressed though, even looking like this. It’s weird comparing traditional wear to western stuff.”

“You didn’t need to hit me though! Meanie. Betcha you wouldn’t have been able to reach me there if you weren’t cheating either, shorty. And why didn’t anyone tell me Kee-boy could double as a disco ball?!”

“You still have a ways to go before you can really call me that short stuff. But I don’t think he knew until just now, so not sure anyone else could’ve.”

Both Kokichi and Ryoma were in more conventional suits, almost surprising given their heights. Kokichi’s being almost all white, with a purple shirt and his checkered neckerchief sticking out of a pocket, while Ryoma’s was a traditional black with a loosely done blue tie, ginger hair out for all to see. (Is it mean to wonder if Tsumugi had to get these from the kid’s section or large toys or something? Mostly for Ryoma.)

“Yeah, his panels just couldn’t keep from tearing through anything I have on hand that I thought would work for him. If my lab was here then I’m sure I could have made him something nice, but at least Miu found an easy alternative. Not sure it’s as “useful” as she claimed it could be when she tried to explain it to me earlier, but maybe it could be related to a flashlight feature or something?”

Tsumugi’s dress was rather simple, a sexy medium length light blue qípáo with gold trim. Behind her was Kirumi, with a red rose in her lacy headband and a long black and white Victorian dress with a matching rose pattern on it. As she offered before she’s left any and all aprons she has behind for the evening.

Welp. Good news: Someone is finally prettier than Kiyo and I can safely say now I’ve definitely learned something new about my tastes tonight. Bad news: Having “really tall, dark, kinda eerie femme fatale” as my type of feminine person I’m attracted to does not bode well for me. Particularly not in this setting.

“At least everything else has worked out nicely. When exactly will Himiko’s show begin?”

“Well, I guess the first thing to make sure is that everyone’s here right? Then we’ll just need to ask her and Kiyo.”

“I think we all are, if you’re talkin’ like Kiyo’s here already. I hadn’t seen him yet.” (Of course, you haven’t Kaito. I don't think this will end well.)

Kaito’s hair is remarkably untouched all things considered, just wearing an indigo men’s yukata with a subtle star pattern to it and a white robe over it like his coat. Maki’s hair was in a ponytail, and was in a red dress that looks like it has one of those cowl necks that can be used to make a hood, and given how much she was playing with her long locks she appeared rather uncomfortable with her new setting.

Past her Kaede could see Angie skipping about in a long white sundress around Gonta who didn’t look all that different than usual. Looks like not even Tsumugi could convince him to tame his hair or wear shoes for the night. Still, her work on everyone else was amazing, especially if she didn’t base them on characters or anything. If she did it’s not like Kaede would be able to tell, but they felt original tonight.

It looked like everything was just about ready to begin, but Kiyo looked rather concerned. He hid his mouth behind his hand by force of habit or to avoid lip reading as he spoke to Kaede in hushed tones.

“Himiko might need a bit of time to settle her nerves again, would you mind playing something first?”

Kaito’s definitely seen Kiyo now, after he came over to whisper in Kaede’s ear like that, and looked even less comfortable than Maki does. Too bad seeing Kaito’s reaction was enough to set Himiko off, but she was shaking less now, as the blissfully unaware Tenko still tried to act as her one person cheer squad.

He also noticed how she was muttering under her breath and giving him her best glare, since he looked mildly terrified and moved to place the now definitely blushing Maki between him and the young witch’s wrath. Kiyo was clearly amused by all of this, given he was clearly barely able to keep himself from laughing behind his hand as he approached Kaito assumedly to try and ease Himiko’s concerns.

… Or just to make things worse on purpose because he can, that works too. Kaede could hear he had switched to using a falsetto now just to aggravate any issues Kaito was having with him as he spoke with an unkind smile on his face. But seeing them “talk” did make Himiko’s muttering stop for the time being.

Good grief. This was more the creepy semi-sadistic sort of thing I was expecting of him in general. It’s probably for the better I take up his suggestion for now until people settle down some more. Now’s as good a time as any to play that song, isn’t it? I'm sorry it’s so late Shuichi. Then I'll do a song for Rantaro too.

It was easy to let any awkwardness or tenseness from the group fall away as Kaede played Clair de Lune. It was always easy to lose herself and her troubles in her focus on the music, on the keys and pedals before her. The songs never lasted long enough, it was always as if they ended too soon for her regardless of what it was, but she appreciated the polite applause and praise she received when it did. And pointedly ignored the few wolf whistles from Miu and Kokichi.

Himiko was as ready as she’d ever be at this point, so she and Kiyo took to her stage. She had Kiyo introduce her and provide almost fairytale-like explanations for everything she’d be doing for the night.

Thank goodness he stopped doing the falsetto, that’s too random for this since we know how he talks normally. Unless he wanted to do some Rakugo thing for his talent, it might work for something like that.

She went through an interesting variety, starting with “Incorporeal Vorpal Blades”, an unusual combination of her “saw in half” trick with a “disappearing box” act that made it very hard to tell where exactly Kiyo actually was during the performance until it finished.

After a few rounds of that she went to “Wyrd Maiden” magic, which given the subject did result in some laughs as Kiyo pulled out his falsetto again to play up the title despite Himiko’s attempt at giving him a firm pout, starting with the box-of-swords trick that somehow resulted in Kiyo coming out of Himiko’s “witch’s brew” that was sitting far off to the side.

They finished up with her take on “Wingardium Leviosa”, where upon the release of her various doves Himiko moved so quickly it was like she disappeared, leaving only her hat in her place. After a few moments when Kiyo hammed it up again while showing everyone that there were no doors in that area the banners above the stage began to move, showing Himiko proudly standing between the columns up above them to everyone’s applause.

Too bad they hadn’t actually sorted out for her to get back down though as she began looking around, rubbing the back of her neck like she forgot what she was supposed to be doing, which got some laughs from those who thought it was part of the show as Kiyo and Tenko mimed to her where to go.

When she was back safely on the ground, she asked if it would be okay to run off to the restroom for a bit now that her show was done. Kaede went back to playing for the night as Gonta released the various breeds of fireflies and beetles he collected that would each release their own pleasant glow as they took off to the night sky. (Given the glowing shapes moving along the ground there were probably glowworms or nightcrawlers or whatever too. Ick.)

No one suspected anything was wrong until Tenko went to see what was taking Himiko so long to get back, given how smoothly everything had went. Even then that was easy to forget about, Kaede couldn’t even be sure how long Tenko was gone looking. It wasn’t until she came running back, scared and asking for help that a problem was clear so those closest to the door ran to where Himiko had been going last.

When she, Kaede, Kiyo, and Angie made it to the bathroom door the dreaded announcement’s chime began to sound. Himiko was dead on the floor, blood seeping from her neck with a lifeless stare.

With that, the killing game began again. Despite their best efforts, it was time to begin a new investigation. ( And now this time we don’t even have a true detective to help us figure out why. )

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stayextrafrosty · 7 years

Text

Real One

Summary: Your friend gets meet and greet tickets for her favorite band and wants you to come with. Fall Out Boy is a great band that you also like but don’t know much about. Then you finally meet them.

Pairing: Patrick Stump x Reader

Reader: Female

Warnings: mentions of depression, smut

Words: 7056

I sat on the ugly yellow couch in the small square room that was my therapist’s office. Temporary but it was still uncomfortable. There was only one small window and it was facing a building. I’m not claustrophobic but it felt small.

“So, you said that your friend is taking you to a meet and greet for this band, Fall Out Boy? Are you at all excited,” she asked me? Janna Thompson was a sweet lady and I liked her instantly. She was always willing to talk with me about pop culture. She would let me get off track if she knew I needed it. Today wasn’t a rough day so it would be short.

“I mean, I guess. I like the music they put out. I just hope they aren’t entitled rock stars. Mara seems to really like Pete so I’m happy she’ll get to meet him,” I said, shrugging. “I mean, we’re 23. I am all for her liking something like this but I feel weird. I feel like a kid or something.” Janna nodded.

“If it’s something you like, then it’s not weird and you shouldn’t be ashamed of it. Same thing applies to your friend, (Y/N).” I smiled and nodded. She was right. “Oh, and be sure to tell me all about them when you get back.” I laughed. She knew just how to help me relax.

The day of the concert came and I was attempting to straighten my hair. It wasn’t very long and tended to curl when I didn’t want it to. Mara came bouncing to the bathroom wearing a shirt she had gotten at their last concert.

“Come on, (Y/N)! We don’t wanna be late. Here, I’ll help.” I chuckled as she took the flat iron from me. I loved seeing her so happy. Reminded me that things weren’t all bad. Her nails were painted purple and she had managed a purple smoky eye that I envied. I could only manage eyeliner and even that wasn’t always great.

She managed to tease my hair into a presentable state and she pulled me out the door not long after. She blasted their new album and we sang along. She knew more words than I did but at least I was having fun.

“So, this is called “The Last of the Real Ones” and honestly it’s so amazing. It’s one of those songs where you just try to imagine the guys saying it to you. Pete is a genius.” She giggled. I rolled my eyes at her.

“Well what about the singer? He’s the one delivering all this emotion into the song.” I listened to this singer pour his soul out to some girl.

“Patrick. He’s an amazing vocalist. One of the best in today’s music if you ask me. Then there’s Joe and Andy who complete the band and are super talented.” I listened to the music and the lyrics. Patrick really gave it his all.

“I wonder if your therapist knows everything about me?”

Patrick, huh?

We stood in line with the rest of the fans that got the passes. Apparently, we were super lucky. There were less passes this time around. I stood with Mara as she talked excitedly with everyone around her. I told a few people that I was just along for the ride. I didn’t know the band well. They welcomed me mostly. Then the security guard came out to lay down some rules.

“You are all going to get the opportunity to take a picture with them. Then they will be able to sign one item. One line please. And do not push. We don’t want anyone to get hurt or thrown out.” Everyone whispered to each other.

“No girl here can touch Patrick but me. I will push if I have to.” A girl next to me was whispering to her friend. I tried to not laugh out loud. Why did some girls get so possessive over a guy they have no chance with? “Got a problem with that,” the girl said? I realized she was talking to me. Guess I did laugh out loud.

“I just think it’s funny that you think you have a chance with a big-time rock star. He probably has a girlfriend already. Believe whatever you want I guess.” I turned away from her.

“Says the girl who doesn’t even know who they are.” I ignored her. There was yelling as I saw first member come out. I recognized it as Pete. I felt a shove against my back and I tumbled forward and out of line. I tripped over my feet and fell to the floor.

I could feel my cheeks turn red as I tried to pull myself up quickly. There was some quiet laughing but it suddenly stopped. I stood and came face to face with blueish hazel eyes. I widened my focus to a boy with blonde hair and wore a fedora. His eyebrows were drawn together.

“Are you ok? I saw you fall.” His voice was smooth. Not super deep but it sounded like comfort. I stuttered.

“Uh yea. I… I’m sorry. I… didn’t mean to get out of line… um… I’m alright.” He smiled and I lost my breath. He was perfect. I smiled back and looked away. I stepped back into line with Mara, hiding.

“This is why we don’t push,” The security guard said. The boy returned to the other three. He was part of the band? How did I not notice?

“Dude… You know that was Patrick Stump, right? The singer? You shoulda laid one on him! You had the chance,” Mara whispered to me. That was Patrick. I glanced over to the band again. They were laughing with each other. Then Patrick glanced back toward me. My face flushed and I turned away again. Mara was grinning at me. “You’re so into him.” I rolled my eyes at her.

“Watch where you’re going in the future. You inconvenienced Patrick. You just looked desperate for attention,” the rude girl from before said. I turned toward her slightly. She was smirking at me. It was probably her who pushed me.

I kept my head down and talked with Mara. The line went pretty quick. As we got closer, I got more nervous. What did Patrick think of me? I bet the girl was right. I probably just look like I want attention. Not that I really cared what he thought. I shouldn’t care anyway.

“We’re next, (Y/N),” Mara whispered excitedly. I couldn’t help but get excited for her. I smiled as they called us up to the guys. Mara ended up introducing us both.

“So, I’m Mara and this is my best friend, (Y/N). She knows your music but isn’t super familiar with the band.” I looked toward her, embarrassed.

“Hey, no need to spill everything…” I laughed awkwardly. Pete laughed and stuck his hand out to Mara, then me.

“I’m Pete. It’s awesome your friend brought you along.” I shook his hand and smiled.

“Joe.”

“Andy.”

I shook their hands, feeling much more comfortable. I looked toward the last guy. Patrick.

“I’m Patrick. We met earlier in a bit of a weird way.” I laughed awkwardly and tucked my hair behind my ear.

“Yea, someone pushed me. I’m alright though. I appreciate the concern.” I didn’t want to call out the girl that pushed me. That would be mean and I wasn’t going to fall to her level. He glanced over my shoulder momentarily then smiled at me.

“Well what are we waiting for? Let’s do this,” Patrick said. Mara suggested hugs and I agreed. I wasn’t going to spoil her chance with Pete. We stood next to each other, laughing slightly. Pete wrapped his arms around her and Joe hugged Pete’s shoulders. It was a funny sight to watch. I felt a pair of arms grab me, pulling me against a sturdy and warm body. I turned my head to see Patrick with a grin on his face.

“This ok,” he asked? I giggled a bit. Oh god, what was happening to me.

“Yea, it’s fine.” I smiled and turned towards the camera. It was quick and the security guard was telling us to move along. Patrick’s arms dropped from around me slower than normal, like he was lingering.

“Talk more in a bit.” I was going to respond but Mara was pulling me to the next line. She had this grin on her face and put her hands on her hips.

“Ok. There is no way that’s he’s not into you. You better try and get his number. I saw the way he looked at you. And look at this,” she pulled out her phone to show me the picture we took. Everyone looked like they were laughing at the camera except for Patrick. He was looking at me. I flushed.

“So, he forgot to look at the camera, doesn’t mean he’s into me,” I said. Mara rolled her eyes at me. The last time a guy was interested in me, he just wanted me for sex. I looked back to see what the guys were doing. I watched as the girl that pushed me kissed Patrick’s cheek quickly. Some of the other fans in both lines made unimpressed sounds. I heard a girl in front of us speak.

“You’re not supposed to do that. It makes things uncomfortable for everyone. And if one person does it, other people will think its ok when it’s not.” I looked over at Patrick and he was smiling but you could tell he was uncomfortable.

The girl seemed proud of herself as she shamelessly flirted and held onto Patrick. The security guard had to step in briefly. He didn’t have to pull her off but she was trying to take as much time as possible.

The girl gave me a smirk as she sauntered up to me. Mara and I rolled our eyes at each other. I attempted to ignore her for the rest of the meet and greet.

The guys sat down at a long table and pulled out pens and markers. This went slower than the pictures it seemed. Some fans gave them small gifts or asked for handwritten lyrics. Others cried and told their whole life stories. All the guys were sweet and patient with every fan they talked to. Mara practically bounced up to Pete who was the first in line. I chuckled at her enthusiasm. She thanked him over and over again for his lyrics and told him how amazing it was that he talked about mental illness.

Then she began to move on and I stepped up to the table, handing my autograph book to Pete.

“Hey, you’re the new girl, right? (Y/N)?” I laughed awkwardly. Great, now I was the ‘new girl.’

“Yea. Course I kinda wish Mara didn’t spill that little secret.” He laughed and signed my book.

“Can I tell you a secret? Just promise you won’t tell Patrick I told you this. He likes you. Ask him for his number. It’d be funny to see him flustered over a girl.” Pete glanced down to the end of the line where Patrick was accepting a small drawing from a fan. I blushed and Pete winked at me. I took my journal and moved on to Andy.

“Pete’s right ya know. It’s been a while since he’s been interested in a girl.” I glanced down the line again.

“I like your tattoos by the way. They’re super awesome and colorful,” I told him. He laughed and told me where he got some of them done.

Joe and I talked about his guitar and various types of music. I didn’t think he heard what Pete had said but as I went to move on he winked and nodded his head toward Patrick.

“Hey, hope the other guys didn’t scare you off.” I smiled and handed him my book.

“Well they certainly like to make you a joke. You all must be great friends.” He raised an eyebrow at me.

“What did they tell you about me? Am I going to have to yell at them,” he looked concerned but still lighthearted.

“Nothing too bad. Just that you were actually mean and use autotune,” I said. I tried to keep a straight face. He laughed and rolled his eyes.

“I mean to them. You’d need to get to know me and decide for yourself.” He signed my book and it looked like he hesitated before closing it and sliding it back to me. I took a deep breath and before I could talk myself out of the dumb idea, I spoke.

“Well you could give me your number and I could get to know you,” I said quickly. His head snapped up to me and a blush spread on his face. He stumbled over his words and tried to look anywhere but me.

“Um… well… I’m not really… I’d like to… but…” He cleared his throat and looked back up at me. “I can’t give my number out. Security reasons and all.” He grabbed my book back and found the page he wrote on and scribbled something below it. I nodded and took my book.

“Well I hope to see you again Patrick. I really look forward to the show tonight.” I smiled and walked away. Mara looked at me like I had grown two heads. A grin spread across her face.

“Holy shit. I can’t believe you asked him that! When did you get so bold?” She pulled me toward the rest of the fans. I giggled with her.

“Honestly, I don’t know. The rest of the band kept telling me to ask for his number just to see him flustered. He’s cute but I don’t know. He seems like a good guy but he is famous.” She started freaking out.

“The other guys told you to ask him? Oh, he SO has a thing for you,” she said quietly but excited. I opened my book to the page he signed. I almost choked when I saw what was scribbled under the signature. A line of numbers and a note that said ‘It would be amazing to know you.’

“(Y/N)…” Mara was looking at the page. I lifted a finger to my mouth to let her know to keep this quiet. I’m sure my face matched hers. She nodded and I shoved the book into my bag. Soon we were all ushered out to find our seats for the show.

Mara hadn’t been able to get pit tickets but because of the way the stage was set up, we were still a couple rows back from a part that stuck out. The lights went out and the opening act launched on stage. Everyone was suddenly standing. People still came and went often. Once the opening act was done, there was a thirty-minute gap before Fall Out Boy came on. Mara ran and bought us both t-shirts. The lights dimmed again and everyone screamed.

They launched into “Sugar, we’re Goin Down” and everyone sang the opening lines for them. I watched Patrick who had the biggest grin on his face. He looked like he was having the time of his life. They jumped around on stage and laughed. The energy was contagious. They rolled through their hits and the new songs.

Patrick ran out onto the “catwalk” during “Centuries” and everyone reached for him, myself included. He looked into the front rows and sang to us. Our eyes met and he stood in that spot for a moment. I waved and smiled. Then he was gone, running back to the main stage.

Once the song was done, Pete started to introduce one of the new songs. “The Last of the Real Ones.” But Patrick cut him off. Everyone went silent.

“Ok, so. Generally, I leave the introductions to Pete but I have something to say to someone in the crowd. Maybe this is really cheesy but this next song is a weird love song. You know who you are. I guess I’m singing this to you.” Mara grabbed my arm and I just looked at her. How was I supposed to respond to that? Would I even have the nerve to talk to him after that? Patrick sat at the piano and began.

The whole time he was singing, I tried to hide. I know that no one knew I was the person but I couldn’t handle having all of his attention. I was on his mind as he sang with this fiery passion and I wanted to shrink away. Of course, I was flattered but I didn’t know how to talk to him now. Patrick ran to both sides of the stage during the chorus before skipping back to the piano.

“I will shield you from the waves, if they find you. I will protect you.” I listened as everyone sang the lyrics back to them, my eyes focused on Patrick. I watched the big screen and saw him glance toward the crowd. Then he was up coming down the center again.

“You’re the last of a dying breed. Write our names in the wet concrete.” We locked eyes again. And he gave me this shy grin and I couldn’t help but smile back. Whenever Patrick came down the catwalk, he would give me some sort of grin or even a smirk. He tossed a pick into the crowd and I watched as everyone went crazy trying to find it.

The rest of the concert was amazing. But as we were leaving, there was a lot of conversations about the “person” that Patrick mentioned. There were the usual jokes about it being Pete but I tried to keep my head down anyway.

A couple days pass before I ask Mara what to do with his number. Was I supposed to text him that night? Or was it still too early to text him?

“Dude. This is Patrick Stump. You should have texted him that night or yesterday! Make sure he knows you’re interested. He’s a shy guy by nature. Normal rules don’t apply.” She sipped her drink as we watched the commercials. I sighed and opened a new message. I still didn’t know what to say. There were rumors all over the internet about the “person” the song was for.

“Start simple. Don’t want to scare him off,” Mara said. I nodded.

Hey, Patrick. It’s (Y/N) from the meet and greet in (city).

I showed Mara before I sent it. The reply wasn’t instant like I hoped, but I’m sure he’s busy. The anxiety started to show its face. I had waited too long. It didn’t matter because he gave me a fake number just to get my hopes up. He wanted me to think I was somehow different.

My phone buzzed and I tried to look disinterested while preparing myself to see who it was from. Patrick’s name lit up the screen and my heart pounded.

Hey! I was worried you wouldn’t contact me... I may have been a bit forward…

Mara squealed and neither of us were paying attention to the t.v at this point.

You surprised me, that’s for sure. And what happened to not being able to give out your phone number for security reasons?

Well. I determined that getting to know you was more important.

My face turned red as Mara freaked out. She was bouncing on the couch.

“Ok now you have to flirt back! Just a little bit. Remember to be witty.” I rolled my eyes at her. She knew that my family grew up learning sarcasm as a second language.

Mr. Stump are you flirting?

I sent it before I could rethink. It was risky. We waited impatiently for a response. It took a bit longer for it to come and that had me worried. Did I push too far?

Maybe. Are you?

I guess so. I’m a sucker for sweet guys like you.

Hey! I can be mean, too. Don’t underestimate me!

Oh, really? You’ll have to prove it to me ;)

I should have gotten popcorn for Mara. I wasn’t sure about sending the wink face but it had gotten playful and I was feeling bold. The fact it had gotten like this so quickly had me thinking he just wanted sex but at the same time, he didn’t seem like that kind of person.

Now let’s not get into this so fast. Let me take you to dinner first. You deserve it.

As long as it’s something like pizza, that would be great.

I smiled and tried to hide it. I told Mara about it and the fangirling began. Was this really happening to me? My phone buzzed again.

It’s a date. I’ll let you know when I come back to town. I gotta get to rehearsals for tonight but I’ll talk to you later.

Weeks passed like that. We would talk for a bit and then it would get playful. Patrick would always pull back early on. It was sweet but also a bit concerning. Did he not find me attractive enough? It was a stupid fear but it nagged me. I would tell Janna about us. I just never told her the name of the guy.

I told Patrick about my depression and family struggles. He told me about his battles with past relationships. We became close. We had started talking on the phone on a semi-regular basis.

“Hey, so I found some free time between shows. I figured I would come in and we can go out for pizza,” he said. A grin split across my face.

“That would be amazing. I’ve only been waiting forever now.” I laughed and I could hear him chuckle.

“Then I guess I’ll see you next week. Goodnight, babe,” he said. I froze for a second. He never gave me a nickname before. “Too much?” I shook my head but realized he couldn’t see me.

“Not at all. Just surprised me. I liked it. Goodnight to you, too, baby,” I said. He laughed and hung up. Mara poked her head in my door.

“So, you guys are officially a thing now?” I shook my head at her eavesdropping but shrugged anyway.

“If that’s what nicknames signify then I guess so. I hope so, honestly.” She smiled and left.

The next week dragged. Thursdays and Fridays were my days off from work so Patrick said he would come get me on Thursday. It also happened to be the day I went to see Janna. And the day my parents decided to stop by.

“Janna, what am I supposed to do? I tried to tell them I was busy but they insisted. I’ve been waiting to go out with this guy for weeks now and they just show up and ruin it.” I ran my hands through my hair.

“Did they say why they were coming,” she asked. I shook my head.

“Probably to nag me about not finishing school and tell me how much of a disappointment I am. Unlike my older sister,” I said, standing up and starting to pace.

“Just remember what we practiced. Kill them with kindness. If they see that you’re happy with your life, they will be happy for you, too.” I nodded and promised that I would try.

“And this guy that’s coming to see you? Does he know about your relationship with your parents,” she asked?

“Yea. He knows the general stuff. I just hope they leave before he shows up. They try to sabotage every date I have.” Janna nodded. The session didn’t last much longer.

My parents showed up just before Mara left for work. Great, now I had to be alone with them. They exchanged pleasantries but I knew they didn’t care for her that much. They claimed she was a bad influence. She gave me a sympathetic look and headed out.

“I told you guys that I had plans tonight. I don’t have anything planned for dinner.” I tried to be as polite as possible but my mom just rolled her eyes and turned her nose up at me.

“And we said we were coming over. You should be making time for us after all we did for you.” I tried to not groan. Instead I smiled.

“Well maybe on another night. I can’t really change the plans. I need a bit more notice than one day.” I clasped my hands together to keep myself from strangling them. My father crossed his arms.

“What could you possibly be doing that is more important than family? It’s not school and it’s not a job. Your sister would make time for us even while she was doing those things.” I tried to stop my face from showing my true emotions.

“Well I’m content with my job and life as I’m living it. I would really appreciate it if you supported me.” I tried to smile as I said it but it came out a bit harsher than I intended. But of course, they caught the change in tone.

“I don’t like your attitude young lady. After supporting you while you wasted time and didn’t go to school,” my father continued. I ignored his comment and walked to the kitchen.

“Would you guys like some water?” I pulled out some glasses and filled them with ice. I changed the topic so the focus wasn’t me. I asked about the bank and apparently, my father was now a manager of a building. My mother told stories about being a nurse.

“There are so many sad people that come into the hospital for their next drug trip. It’s sick. All the riff raff has access to things they shouldn’t.” I clenched my fist.

“You know Mom, these people really do need help.” She laughed and my anger flared.

“They’re just criminals. But the hospital can’t turn anyone away.” I stood suddenly, My chair flaying back.

“Get out. I don’t want either of you here. I have a date tonight and the last thing I need is to be in a bad mood.” My parents looked at each other and stood.

“Trying to trick another poor boy out of his money? Have something to offer before you start dating, sweetie.” My mouth dropped open and they made their way to the door. I hurried to open it. I just needed them gone. As I tried to kick them out. I came face to face with Patrick.

He held a small bouquet of flowers. He wore skinny jeans and a button up shirt with converse. A baseball cap instead of a fedora. My mother looked him up and down with a disinterested look on her face.

“So, you’re whoring yourself out for a chance at fame? Band members are always trouble…” She trailed off and I exploded. She was not going to do this in front of Patrick. Not him.

“Oh, my fucking, god. Just shut up already! What part of get out did you not understand? I don’t want you here! I have never wanted you here! If I’m such a disappointment, then why waste any more time on me? You have done nothing for me! Nothing! All you do is tear me down. If you can’t be happy that I might actually be happy for once, then you don’t belong in my life. Don’t come back until you’re ready to actually be a family to me.” Tears started falling down my face and I couldn’t stop them.

My parents looked at me, astonished. They left without another word. I couldn’t look at Patrick. He shouldn’t have seen that. I probably just ruined everything. I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders. Patrick led me back inside and we sat on the couch.

He held me in silence while I cried into his shoulder. I wasn’t sure how long we sat there. Until I calmed down.

“Um, those flowers were for you, if you want them…” I couldn’t help but laugh. He was perfect. He pulled me close and I hugged him.

“Thank you, Patrick. I’m so sorry you had to witness the mess that is my family.” I felt him kiss my head.

“Don’t worry about it. I just got to see how strong you are. You stood up to them and that is truly amazing.” He pets my hair gently and I closed my eyes. He was so comforting. I could sit like this all day. I felt my stomach rumble. Food was annoying sometimes. I finally got the courage to look at him. I tried to smile reassuringly.

“I hope you’re still up for pizza. Because I’m starving.” We laughed and he helped me stand. He stood there, holding my hand for a moment. He gazed at me as if he were thinking of something. He shook his head and started to pull me out the door.

“Let’s go get this pizza. I know a good place. It won’t be Chicago style but it should be good.” I let him pull me to his car. He let me play 2000s alternative and would even sing along with me. I tried to convince him to sing along when “Sugar, We’re Goin Down” came on but he refused.

It was a nice evening of talking about music and tv shows. He was the lead singer of a world-famous band and this felt almost normal. But I had to ask.

“How have the paparazzi been? Still grilling you about who the mystery person is?” He glances at me with a shy smile on his face.

“Yea. Probably not one of my best ideas. But I would do it again if that meant winning you over. You’re different. You don’t care that I’m the lead singer in some band. You understood when I said I couldn’t give my number out. Even though I did it anyway. You’re real. You care about my interests. You wanted to know me. Not just the part everyone sees.” He fiddled with his hands as he stared at the table. I reached over to take his hand. He looked up at me.

“I’m so glad to know you, Patrick. You’re amazing.” He blushed and called for our check. I offered to pay for half but he wouldn’t hear it. We walked back to his car in silence. It seemed like something was off. Patrick looked deep in thought. He spoke before I could ask.

“I had a really nice time tonight, (Y/N). I want to do this again. But I also want to try something else. Um…” He took his hat off his head and tossed it on the car. He fidgeted and rubbed the back of his neck. “So, I completely understand if you don’t want to, uh… I just figure… We’ve been talking for a while… um… I was wondering… could we… like… would it be ok if I… kissed… you?” He was adorable when he was nervous. Then the reality of what he asked me set in. I could feel my face turn red. He was looking at me with intense but worried eyes. He needed an answer, so I gave him one.

I stepped closer to him and ran my hands over his arms to his shoulders. His breathing picked up slightly. I began to lean my head closer to his. I whispered, “What are you waiting for?”

His mouth was soft on mine. His hands held on to my hips and pulled me closer. He made me melt. He pulled away and rested his head on mine. He had a goofy smile on his face and I couldn’t help but giggle.

“Well don’t stop…” I joked. He laughed and kissed me again. It was firmer this time and my arms wrapped around his shoulders. I felt my back hit the car. I didn’t even notice he had moved us back. He pulled away again and his eyes were heated. I was like he was staring into my soul. I was trapped between him and the car and there was no place I would rather be.

I ran my hands through his hair and kissed him. He held me against the car and his lips were urgent. I nibbled at his bottom lip and I swear I heard him growl.

“(Y/N)…” We were both breathing fast and his mouth trailed down to my neck. I sighed happily. Then he was gone completely. He almost slid down the car from the sudden lack of support. He had stepped back and his eyes were closed. It was like he was trying to compose himself.

“Patrick? What is it?” I tried to step closer to him again but he backed away. I was hurt. Did he not want me? Was the kiss a test run and he realized that he doesn’t want this?

“Look. I just…” Here is comes. I braced myself for heartbreak. “I don’t want to rush you into this. I don’t want you to feel obligated to do something if you don’t want to. I just don’t want to screw this up. I really like you.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, looking shy again.

“So, this isn’t because you don’t want me,” I asked? His head snapped up to look at me. He was in front of me in a second, my face in his hands.

“That’s not it at all, (Y/N). I want you. I want you more than anything. I just don’t want to force you into this. If you’re not-“ I cut him off by kissing him. His tongue was in my mouth and we were grabbing at each other like we were drowning. I was pressed up against the car again and then someone honked. That broke both of us out of our craze. We were both panting and then we started laughing. I had no idea if they were honking at us but I knew I wanted to move somewhere more private anyway.

“Take me to wherever you’re staying. I want you, too, Patrick.” He nodded and kissed my head. I hurried to the other side and jumped in. The ride was quick and comfortably silent. Patrick held my hand the whole time.

We went in through the side entrance to avoid attention. He said that he never knew if the paparazzi would show up. We rode the elevator to the third floor. I tried to not giggle as I watched him get more impatient. I wrapped my arm around his waist.

“It’s really cute to watch you get so impatient,” I joked. He shot me a playful glare as the elevator dinged and the doors opened. He pulled me along down the hall as I laughed. Then I was against the door with Patrick’s mouth on my neck. My laughing turned into sighs and I heard a door open down the hall. Patrick broke away from me and we watched a couple walk past us. The woman looked at us with a knowing smile and I blushed.

“We should probably take this inside, huh?” Patrick pulled a key card out of his pocket and opened the door. The room was spacious with a king-sized bed in the middle. There was a window covering the far wall and it overlooked the highway. I wandered over and dropped my bag and jacket on the chair. I heard Patrick open one of the cabinets and turned to see him pouring himself a glass of whiskey. He noticed me watching him and raised his glass to me.

“Want some? I’ve had better but Crown isn’t that bad,” he said, taking a sip. I shrugged and walked over to him.

“Can I just try a bit of yours,” I asked? I had never been much of a hard liquor person. Not unless it was mixed into a fruity drink. He grinned and handed me his glass. I took a sip and started coughing almost immediately. It was too strong for me. Patrick tried to hide his laughter. He took the glass and set it down, rubbing my back.

“We’ll try again another time,” He said. His hand trailed down to my lower back and I licked my lips. His eyes followed the movement and he reached up to stroke my face gently. I removed the hat from his head again and set it down.

Patrick kissed me tenderly and I wrapped my arms around him. He walked us backwards until my legs hit the bed and I fell onto it. I kicked my shoes off as he crawled on top of me, kicking his off as well. His mouth landed on mine again and I fiddled with the buttons on his shirt. I felt him grin and bite my lip.

I arched my back toward him, trying to get as close as possible. His hands moved down to my waist and under the hem of my fitted t-shirt. His fingers on my skin startled me and I sighed against his lips. He stopped kissing me briefly.

“Are you sure about this? I can always stop.” I took his face in my hands. He was beautiful, honestly.

“Thank you, Patrick. But I know what I want. I want this. You.” He smiled and he was kissing me feverishly. I responded with the same passion. He pushed my shirt up to my breasts and I helped him remove it the rest of the way. He gazed at my body and smiled. I hid my face but he pinned my arms to the side. I’m sure my face was red. He kissed my neck and moved down over my collarbone and chest.

As soon as he let my arms go I tugged at his shirt. “I can’t be the only one losing clothes,” I said. He laughed and pulled his shirt over his head. Our bodies pressed together and they just fit. Patrick didn’t have chiseled abs or super defined muscles but he was warm and sweet and still sexy as hell. The rest of our clothing came off quickly. We laughed as my jeans got stuck on my ankles and Patrick tripped over some of the discarded clothing.

Then I was on top of him, both of us in our underwear. Our tongues danced as I rubbed my hips against his. He was clearly aroused and that turned me on. His hands fondled my chest as I traced lines on his skin with my nails. He laughed and he flipped us again.

“That tickles you know.” He entwined his fingers with mine and I giggled.

“Yea. That’s why I was doing it.” He shook his head at me and kissed and nibbled at my neck. I laughed and squirmed beneath him, pressing against the bulge in his underwear. He groaned as I wrapped my legs around him.

“Patrick please. I need you,” I whispered. He looked into my eyes and nodded. He kissed me softly as he started to pull my panties down my legs. I helped him kick them off. The cool air against the heat between my legs made me gasp. I started to push Patrick’s boxers down. He helped me and once they were completely off, he broke away. I felt his hand against my center and couldn’t help but moan. He teased me with one finger, then two. He moved slowly even as I begged for more. His fingers were gone in the next moment. He leaned down to my ear.

“Told you I could be mean…” He nipped at my ear and I half laughed. He was bringing up our first conversation. I could hardly make out the word, ‘please’ and then he was positioning himself at my entrance. I ran my hands over his shoulders as he pushed into me. I groaned and wrapped my legs around him. Patrick leaned over me as he moved in and out of me. He started slow at first but picked up the pace as he went. My arms were wrapped around him, my nails digging into his back. Our gasps of pleasure were all I could hear.

“Fuck, (Y/N). I’m gunna…” He trailed off as his thrusting became erratic and rough. It felt amazing and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I came, too. He tried to drag it out as long as he could but couldn’t hold back anymore. He moaned as he exploded. I could feel him inside me and it was almost enough to send me over the edge. Then his thumb was rubbing against my clit. He moved his hips slowly but pressure against my clit was enough to drive me crazy. He kissed me as I came and moaned into his mouth.

After my spasms had died down, Patrick pulled out and laid down next to me, stroking my face. I curled up against his now sweaty body. I was comfortable. The soft glow of the lamp made this all the more sweet.

After a few minutes, I felt Patrick freeze. His whole body went rigid. I looked up at him and raised an eyebrow.

“(Y/N)… I… I’m so, so, so sorry… I forgot a condom… Damnit, I’m such an idiot…” He threw an arm over his face. I froze for a moment too, then relaxed again.

“Patrick,” I began. He didn’t let me finish.

“I’ll take you to the store tomorrow. We can get you plan B or anything else you’ll need. I promise I would run away from this. I’ll take care of you. I’ll…” I cut him off this time.

“Patrick!” He stopped and looked at me, worry written all over his face. “I’m on the pill, Patrick. It’s ok. We should use one in the future but it’s ok. You don’t need to worry.” I kissed him softly and the worry turned into relief. He took my hand and kissed my fingers. We pulled back the covers so we could lay beneath them. We cuddled and talked about nothing and everything. A bit later we hit the lights so we could get some sleep. I thought of something and smiled.

“Oh, and Patrick?”

“Hmm?”

“My therapist does know everything about you.” He laughed and rolled over to kiss me again.

#patrick stump #patrick stump imagine #patrick x reader #band imagine #fall out boy fanfiction #fall out boy #i know it's long #smut #fanfiction #feedback always appreciated #requests welcome

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johannesviii · 4 years

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Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2017

Not a very good year for hit songs. Still better than the next one, though.

And a very satisfying #1 that launched an entire infodump about a specific band. I’m not even sorry.

Disclaimers:

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

2017 might not sound super distant, but it’s already distant enough to analyse what started to happen to me that year with some clarity. This is when I started to lose some of my energy and motivation. A lot, in fact. Everything suddenly felt exhausting and this whole “what’s even the point of anything” mentality started to fall on my shoulders. And you know what, at first, while making these recaps, I had no idea what started it all. Was it that super rare infection I caught in early 2018 and almost made me lose a part of a finger? Was it both my grandfathers dying in mid 2018? Was it the general state of the world? But no, I did some digging and noticed this general exhaustion actually started right during summer 2017 and I was like what the f█ck happened in summer 2017? That summer was fine?

And then it clicked. I know exactly what kickstarted my spiral into about 18 months of depression, and it’s got nothing to do with health or family. It’s something that shouldn’t have affected my life in any way, and that I kinda tried to ignore at the time, and some of you might even find me overdramatic or cringy for letting it affect my life. But yeah, as I’ve realised while making these lists, Linkin Park was actually a super important part of my life, so it makes perfect sense: what started it all was Chester Bennington killing himself. Clearly, someone who had contributed so much to convince me that life was worth living and who suddenly decided it wasn’t worth it, that had a huge impact on me, whether I wanted it or not.

Aaaand now I’m crying again. Great.

Anyway. Uh. Important albums that year! Yeah so uh. Depeche Mode made Spirit and it wasn’t good, and so I kinda lost faith they would ever make a great album again, but I did realise one of my teenage dreams and saw them in concert in the Stade de France in July 2017 (it was huge. Going home after that felt like waking up from some sort of hypnotic trance. They even played Walking In My Shoes, one of my absolute favorite songs from them, along with a video featuring a trans person going to work and I started to bawl my eyes out in the middle of the f█cking crowd). Nine Inch Nails also made Add Violence and continued to be super good, and Indochine made 13, and while it wasn’t nearly as good as Black City Parade, it was also better than La République des Météors, so I was pretty happy about that. EDIT: Forgot about Under Your Spell by The Birthday Massacre, which blew my goddamn mind, but still not as much as the next album I'm gonna talk about.

But the defining album of the year, to me, was Mike Oldfield making a sequel to my favorite album from him, with Return to Ommadawn. Of course it’s not as good as Ommadawn. But still. If Ommadawn felt like discovering a new strange country full of weird folklore and forests and mysterious buildings, Return to Ommadawn feels like going back there half a century later and seeing things in ruins and wounded people, but still trying to seek beauty and joy in a partly destroyed landscape. It makes perfect sense considering the circumstances that surround the making of this thing, and it was the only way to make a good sequel to such a legendary album.

Unelligible songs that piss me off... uh, actually there’s only Cut to the Feeling by Carly Rae Jepsen. Why wasn’t it a huge hit. Come to think of it, why hasn’t any Carly Rae song been a huge hit since Good Times. This feels unfair.

Time for some honorable mentions, then.

Feels and also Slide (Calvin Harris and a lot of other people) - Got nothing to say about either of these songs, but they’re both pretty good.

Katchi (Ofenbach) - Nice little earworm.

No Roots (Alice Merton) - Super surprised this was a hit. Good.

OK (Robin Schulz ft James Blunt) - That’s a James Blunt song in the year of our lord 2017 and it sounds actually good??

What About Us (Pink) - Really caught my attention and made me wonder if I should listen to Pink again after a long streak of mediocre Pink songs.

Congratulations (Post Malone) - I find the song mostly boring but the guest verse ending with “uh, Malone... I gotta play on my phone...” is the stuff of legends and that got a chuckle out of me every time I heard it.

Glorious (Macklemore) - I’m glad this was a hit here but at the same time it’s not my favorite song from him. The music video is adorable, though.

Fly (Odyssey) - Nothing to say about that one.

XO Tour Life (Lil Uzi Vert) - The fact that I was regularly humming this is either a sign of quality or yet another sign I was depressed as shit.

Devil in Me (Purple Disco Machine) - What a great artist name.

Symphony (Clean Bandit) - Nothing to say here either, just good sound all around.

Attention (Charlie Puth) - 2017: The Year Charlie Puth Made A Great Song.

All Stars (Martin Solveig & Alma) - The last cut. It was on the list at some point. I really like it a lot, though.

And now, the list. The stuff I genuinely love starts at #6 and things that are still on my mp3 player to this day start at #4.

10 - Chained to the Rhythm (Katy Perry)

US: #73 / FR: #10

I just love the concept of a Katy Perry song about how Katy Perry songs are happy nonsense distracting you from actual issues. What can I say, I’m a sucker for meta stuff.

9 - Water Under The Bridge (Adele)

US: #88 / FR: Not on the list

An Adele song projecting actual positive energy!? That automatically goes on the list.

8 - Praying (Kesha)

US: #67 / FR: Not on the list

You know I mostly dislike slow emotional songs regardless of how good they actually are. I will, however, make an exception for this one even though I very rarely listen to it considering how emotionally taxing it is. That’s definitely a fantastic song, though.

7 - Viens On S’aime (Slimane)

US: Not on the list / FR: #53

“Listen, we love each other, f█ck it, f█ck their words and their decorum, listen, we love each other, f█ck it, f█ck their ideas and what they’re saying”. Well said, dude, well said.

6 - There’s Nothing Holding Me Back (Shawn Mendes)

US: #23 / FR: #91

That’s a very good song for running and that is becoming increasingly rarer, so I’ll take what I can get.

5 - Paris (The Chainsmokers)

US: #42 / FR: Not on the list (that’s irony for you)

Unlike Closer this is an unrelatable song about rich young people that can afford to live in Paris just “to get away from [their] parents” but honestly that’s the only negative thing I have to say against it. It sounds fantastic.

4 - Castle On The Hill (Ed Sheeran)

US: #40 / FR: #50

We’ve now entered the realm of songs that are still on my mp3 player to this day. This is the only Ed Sheeran song I’ve ever liked, and I love it. It sounds like a lost U2 song. Maybe from a strange dimension where U2 became more fragile and emotional instead of more pretentious.

I have no idea why this guy keeps making such boring stuff when he’s got that kind of song in him. I have no clue.

3 - Something Just Like This (Coldplay & The Chainsmokers)

US: #5 / FR: #19

Hey so Coldplay is still on my lists, apparently. It’s a bit too slow, some lyrics about superheros don’t make much sense, and the drop isn’t super good, but my god, that guitar near the end makes everything worth it. Just amazing colors and textures all around.

It’s not even my favorite song on that EP! I think Miracles (Someone Special) is even better, but eh, this one is a close second.

2 - 24k Magic (Bruno Mars)

US: #16 / FR: Not on the list (#13 in 2016 but I put it on the 2017 list instead)

Am I the only one to like this more than Uptown Funk? It’s so much fun to sing along to it. And unlike Uptown Funk, it’s making me feel nostalgic for an era I actually (vaguely) knew, the super colorful and ridiculous early 90s. My s.o loves it too and when it comes up on the radio or on our playlists you can bet we’re both going PUT YOUR. PINKY. RINGS UP. TO THE. MOOOOOOOON like two idiots.

This is the song I could have put on the previous list but elected to put on this list instead since it was elligible for both years, by the way! Since 2017 was less good than 2016, I thought it would be more interesting to save such a great song for later.

It would have topped the list too, if it wasn’t for something I didn’t expect to be elligible before reading the French year-end list.

Strap yourselves in, because I had no real opportunity to talk about this band at length in the posts made for the years when it was the most relevant in my life, so this is going to be quite long.

1 - La Vie Est Belle (Indochine)

US: Not on the list / FR: #44

As you already know if you remember some of my previous lists, Indochine is a band I started to love right in the middle of the absolute worst years of my life. These guys had been around since the 80s as a super successful new wave band, then became very unpopular and went underground for about twelve years in the entire 90s, then one of them died, then every member except the singer basically rotated, and then they suddenly re-emerged in 2002-2003 with Paradize, a monster of an album, full of energy, sinister themes and weird provocative songs, and an entire generation of angsty teenagers (me included as you can guess) embraced it wholeheartedly.

And all of a sudden Indochine was the favorite French mainstream band of local young punk/goths! So many kids with the Indochine logo in highschool. Nowadays the band is mocked and well-loved in equal doses by just about everyone, but I suspect it’s just because we’ve all grown up.

Placebo, Linkin Park and Indochine were the bands that ruled my entire world in 2003/2004. My mother hated all three of them, because of course she did, but especially Indochine, because according to her it was partly their fault if I was gender non-conforming. See, she used to say, they had put all kinds of bad ideas in my head and now I was all messed up.

...Holy shit, that’s a lot of blame to put on a ridiculous new wave band who’s first hit song from 1983 is just a long nonsensical list of shitty old Bob Morane pulp novels.

But here’s the problem. Even if Indochine kept having hit song after hit song, those were never the best songs on their albums. Here I am, 31, making these top ten lists since last December, and becoming more and more frustrated to see none of my favorite modern Indochine songs are elligible. My favorite Paradize singles were Mao Boy, Popstitute and especially Marilyn (god, this song rocked my entire year alongside Placebo’s The Bitter End. 2003 was such a fantastic year for dark energetic hit songs)? Too bad, the biggest hits were J’ai demandé à la lune and Le Grand Secret. Alice & June had four fantastic singles? Too bad, none of them is elligible! Same thing for the entirety of Black City Parade. Oh, but that song I hate from La Republique des Météors is elligible, I guess!

So we’re in summer 2017, and my life is completely different now, and Indochine releases La Vie Est Belle (I’m linking the album version and not the music video because it has some violent themes in it). I’m in my car doing some errands and the local radio goes “hey new song from Indochine” and I’m like “oh shit, gotta hear this” and then two minutes later “oh wow, that is super good. Won’t be a hit though”.

And yet, it was a hit! It became huge, even! And at that point I was already loving that song even though I thought it was just a super good but tragic love song about a significant other dying too young.

And then, about a month later, the wordplay of the first line finally hit me with the force of a semitruck. It’s not a love song. It’s a song about the singer’s dead twin. Who died in 1999.

It’s such a devastating, beautiful song, and yet it’s full of energy. I. adore. it. It’s exactly the kind of song you need to continue to fight and to live and to help other people in this day and age. “Life is beautiful and cruel, it looks like us sometimes” indeed. And it’s one of the best on the album, too!

So yes, 15 years after I first fell in love with this band and after they helped me during super dark times, finally, I can put one of their songs at the top of one of these lists, hands down, no debate whatsoever.

That probably sounds ridiculous but it’s genuinely making me feel extremely emotional.

Next up: I thought music sucked that year because I was depressed but I relistened to it and no it wasn’t just me

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #eye contact tw #suicide mention tw #I can't believe I'm almost done with these lists #that was a wild ride guys

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hopeyouweretheretoo · 6 years

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Frightened Rabbit - 2/16 and 2/17 - Thalia Hall - Chicago - TMOF 10th Anny

Well – better late than never. I hate waiting this long to purge my thoughts because I don’t want to over think my experiences. And also I don’t want to forget little moments that time tends to erase….

But…I do remember the very first time I heard FR – I was walking across the park at Lollapalooza in Chicago a number of years ago. On one of the side stages, I could hear this amazing sound – so much so that I abandoned the main stage I was headed to, and immediately was transfixed….and feeling a whole lot of feels. What on earth was happening on that stage??? Who were these people? Magical. Frightened Rabbit’s live performances are epic. (I hate that word BTW - almost as much as “rad” - but I can’t think of another one right now….).

When these tickets went on sale for the 10th anniversary of The Midnight Organ Fight, my insides fluttered and I was planning to pay or do whatever was necessary to ensure I could be in that room. Well, as FR found out, many, many others had the same idea. Pre-sale sold out instantly, more pre-sale tix added and an adorable apology from the band, and a couple more shows. Fortunately I secured tickets for both the Friday and Saturday Thalia shows, where the band would open this mini-tour.

I’m combining my thoughts on both shows because it’s easier, but both nights were absolutely fantastic. The crowd was 1000% in it from the start – yelling lyrics back to the band in peak volume and dancing our asses off to one of our favorite records. Each night included some additional songs before and after the full record, opening with “Living in Colour” – which quite frankly was genius and set the energy for the remainder of both nights. “Holy” and “I Wish I Was Sober”, as well as a “Nothing Like You” graced night #1 and I was already completely satisfied. Then it was the opening notes to “Modern Leper”…the build up to the chorus exploded with 1000+ of us yelling back at the top of our lungs “IS THAT YOOOOOOOU??? IN FRONT OF MEEEEEEE…..COMING BACK FOR EVEN MOOOORRREEE…????” to the height of “YOU MUST BEEEEEEEEEE A MASOCHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”…and we were off. Scott also mentioned the last time they’d been in Chicago, opening for Broken Social Scene, saying that of all the shows on that tour, we brought it. I was there, and I can attest to that. This city loves FR, and I wish they came here more often. But alas….absence clearly makes our little hearts grow fonder.

Night #2 I arrived about the same time, and picked my spot in pretty much the same location as night #1. Ironically so did the drunk people. I will NEVER in my life understand how you can wait for months to see your favorite band, get in line super early, and proceed to get so blacked-out drunk that you have no fucking idea what happened at the show. And in the process, irritate the FUCK out of the people around you. Mind blowing. Get fucked up afterward. It’s not rocket science.

Anyhooo…..If you can believe it, the second night was even louder and more energetic than the first. Even the band noticed it and Scott commented as much. The energy for both of these shows was amazing and despite standing for four + hours, I didn’t want them to end. One thing that Scott is so amazing at is not just the lyrics he chooses, but the way he emotes those over that beautiful music. This was really underscored for me when he came out during the opener. Winter Sleep opened – they were new to me. Pretty good for an opener I knew nothing about – but when Scott popped out to join for a song, I was blown away by how he was interpreting those lyrics. It really just emphasized to me that some people have you in the palm of their hands…and some just don’t. It’s a gift. And I’m grateful he, and the band, shares it with us.

Bravo. I will be marking the days on my wall until they return…..;)

Couple pics:

#Frightened Rabbit #scott hutchison #Grant Hutchison #Thalia hall #TMOF #TMOF10 #February #pyeongchang 2018 #Chicago

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4/12/11 NOTES FROM GM HIP-HOP SURVEY SESSION 3 of 3

4/12/11 NOTES FROM GM HIP-HOP SURVEY SESSION 3 of 3 (also included at bottom is session 1) [ To see the rest of this, if it gets cut off, go to hearingtheword2.posterous.com/41211-notes-from-hip-hop-su… ] HIP-hop session #3 of 3 (B. Santelli leading) : [he’s reviewing some books as I arrive] …Tricia rose, hop hop wars..I took her place at rutgers….another..written colloquial….book..new history of.."big payback"…also nelson George..fellow journalist..jersey,,opinionated, but well-written.I was a rollng stone writer.. ‘500 greatest albums"..not many hip hop..very white..mtv did a series on greatest hop hop..wanted to go over greatest emcees. 10) ll cool j, 9 eminem, 8) ice cube 7) big daddy kane 6) krx-1 5) nas 4) rakim (william griffin, aka ra) 3) notorious b.I.g, aka biggie, 2) tupac 1) jayzee [conversation]..rock roll hall fame..they put us rolling stone writers..together..sppsd to pick 500..sppsd to be fun, but..by wed we were @ eachothers throats..who’s missing? No females. Lauren hill? ..[what about lil wayne?] …& the albums? 10) pub enemy, nation of millions 9) tupac 8) 7) nwa 6)jayzee 5)run dmc raising hell 4) biggie, ready to die, 3). ..2)? 1)paid in full (eric b. & rakim [spare, stripped down..rhyming, flawless,..his fav, raising hell ..6 of 10 from gangsta rap era ..[has this guy abandoned anglos..has he caved? Or is he speaking to his primary audience ? Only a handful of whites in the room of maybe 50]…hip hop orig was new york centric..like 50’s in memphis & orleans..but now things changing..begin. here in L.A. large af am pop in late 80’s..lot of kids rapping , deejaying..public enemy (long island), ..why so amazing..first class..am bl roots of hip hop ..we mentioned gil scott herron..changing..g.master flash.. some dies..pub enemy brings it back.chuck d. Knows his …pub enemy makes a political mess. ..from a white perspective..bob dylan…Fear of a black planet..nation of millions..huge..brought over to white…white intells..get more intrsted..then nwa and tupac..gangsta rap..west coast..using what pub enemy doing back east..more outrageous & angry than pub enemy.. …What we hear..chuck D….at rock of fame..had him come & lecture ..he said it was a refl of blues..language previously couched..in blues..now able to scream it..listen to tupac, … in harlem..best pedigree..black panther..he was deep into it..early life a mess..what tupac … shakur.this man had a..he was a 5 tool player….genuine anger..he was intelligent..bitter but intelligent..most important..listen to cadence of words..anyone can rhyme..but cadence…..Eminem..too many words..don’t apprec his stuff as much..tupac best ever..right in middle..perfect storm..east west..1990’s..mid 90’s..bitter rivalry east v west ..ironic …and tupac …then —– killed..neither murder solved..//Why a feud ? East jealous? Tupac..death row l.a..; bad boy east..so 2 diff schools forming.. Then puff daddy..sean combs (aka diddy, p diddy, puff daddy, p daddy) .west… tupac….2 "m words" .1) MEDIA..hip hop mags..source..vibe..’88 mtv raps ..2) MONEY ..early 90’s..can make money..on radio…mtv..also white element..beastie boys..middle class white kids in suburbs.. …Bold personalities..incendiary..tupac murdered..later biggie (notorious B.I.G, Real name Christopher Wallace, aka biggie smalls) killed..media gets hold of it ..society says its out of control….when Biggie dies..album..double platinum.. Also the tree..acid jazz, socially conscious hip hop, funk jazz, trip hop, some from england ..england didn’t embrace hip hop at first ….Arrested development..? Hip hop? Some music lost relevancy..blues, big band ..glenn miller..ragtime..some become "historical"..mid-90’s..hip hop not dying, but branching out..moody blues..I hated it…but difference between hating versus respecting [I actually liked moody blues & saw them @ hollywood bowl]…Who else ? Outcasts, wootang, lords of underground, onyx,.[several others shouted out] .hip hop 90’s taking over…Now beyond nyc & LA..master P…new orleans..tree exploding..geographic connections..diff sound..good businessman..he also played b-ball..also atlanta…in south, but northern sensib.,,,also houston..health..multi-billion $ business..mainstreaming of hip hop,,,gangsta rap dies out…invention, re-invention…..also, rise of detroit..eminem..major figure…brings detroit to forefront..making detroit hip..and then kid rock ..real..metal..fringe genres..coming together w/ hop hop..limp biscit, korn,…Today? Hip hop becoming irrelevant? ..making lots of money..stop changing..less experimentation..less bold, ..fashion from hip hop …u know u become mainstream when grammy recognizes u..heresy for me to say but….Recording academy..being in biz..producer, writer, ….[Plays vid eminem & elton jon..given hip hop’s homophobic culture..this was seminal] [ was it a seminal moment as the beginning of the END of hip-hop, as it lost its verve?] ..2006 nas comes out saying hip hop dead..didn’t want to stay stuck in rut…had nas here….rock hall of fame brings in hip hop, grammy awards..world knows hip hop …After we did whitehouse thing..state dept..calls..cultural diplomacy..obama revived it.. they asked me to organize hop hop to go to muslim countries.[hip hop to muslim countries as a form of diplomacy ?! Please explain how that would appease muslims or appeal to muslims who already think of America as godless] .as did armstrong & ellington 50 yrs ago …I couldn’t run it….Where is hop hop now ? Ring tone..commercialize..sound same..its on life support now..homogenized..mentions nicky menaj opening for britney spears in upcoming tour..360 degrees ..piracy..economy ….Country music still buys cd’s ..loyalty..not download..not w/ hip hop….need audience with means to support act ..when economy of art form goes away..trouble ..younger gen doesn’t feel the concept of spportin.."////BELOW are the NOTES from SESSION 1 of 3 (I missed session 2 ) ——————————–

3/29/11 NOTES FROM HIP-HOP SURVEY COURSE (1 of 3) taught by Bob @ GM: "…learn more abt music forums….like hip hop..whats a middle age white guy teaching hip hop..I’m a musical historian…af am music my specialty..not hip hop.this class not like the elvis class.this is a survey course..3 periods as an overview..will have other courses..hip hop america’s pop music now last quarter century..its a survey class..people who live this culture..if u want to add, embellish..can never learn too much..my expertise. Af am music..also reggae..after hip hop comes bob marley exhibit..a hip hop museum ready to launch..in bronx..I’m on board…maybe russel simmons on board..anybody see him here a few weeks ago….others coming chris blackwell, ..pbs special..kate..@ whitehouse..kate did this exhibit..don’t need to agree..its interpretive..subjectivity..otherwise just read in book ..used to teach @ rutgers..this is not academia..try to do this in colloquial way..not preach to u..meant to be entertaining..some here b/c I asked u to come..I didn’t come quickly to hip hop..even tho I was there in the early 70’s…think of 20th century..america’s century..come to age as superpower..after fall of comm ..also musically, no country can touch what we have given to the world musically in 20th century..separate bl & wh culture..look @ af am contribs..as to amt..# of new forms..brilliant artists..overall impact.entire world..not all clear cut..jazz black music form..but dig down.others contrib too ..but in general..louis armstrong et al..blues blues jazz, soul, funk, r & b, disco, hip hop, bee bop swing, cool, fusion,,of all these forms..all given due..endorsed exported..except hip hop until now…revol music..challenges..polit..most recent..hasn’t gotten its due.celeb gospel blues…maybe too controversial to get credit..still…what made it so..give & take of african cult..also anglo irish..also racism..extra tension..in nutshell..bl & wh celbr..where r we now..first time..af ams bouncing …haven’t had major music..lately..last was grunge..late 80’s, 90’s..music slowed down ?ess imp..25% decrease in concert att…here to ..soul music..motown..also…and atlantic..golden age..also rock roll..then 1970’s..chronolog..musically ’63 to ’73..that’s the 60’s music era..hip hop..not 60’s ..bronx..how go from soul ..then..to funk…I don’t know re hip hop in ’73 ..have to wait 6 years..before recorded artifact..rappers delight ..sugar hill gang..why in this ? .69 71 motown losing lustre..stevie wonder..migrated..motown leaves detroit comes here..but not like it used to be..sly & family stone..loses sensib as..couple key bands & artists..2 huge..gil scott herron ..last poets..black..music…."when revol comes.."..gangsta rap..not on radio..last poets..many blacks didn’t even know of this music..marvin gaye..more known..cnsdrd greatest of all times..70-73 ..clip.."far too many of u dying.."…[red hat]..also "sounds of philadelphia"..the oj’s..signed in cleve but rcrded in phillie.."love train" ….revolution vs love..this is backdrop to bronx ..no q..rock surfaces memphis ..why hip hop fr bronx..music to be created & sustained..not just artist but audience..in bronx..it was like beirut or baghdad..suffered incredibly..ny in bad condition..bronx pushed aside..gangs ..drugs..south bronx..maybe mother cabrini projrcts chicago..maybe south l.a….become so isolated..create in a vacum w/o outside interference or ack..seattle..grunge..a seam..pearl jam, nirvana..already formed b/f world knew..a lot carribeans settled nyc ..jamaicans..brooklyn..1962 jamaica indep..many got out..s. bronx…late 60’s..kid campbell..clive ..from jamaica..brings..reggae..sound systems..everything outdoors ..disc jockey….toast over dub plates..jamaicans come to usa with this..clive campbell..longs for jamaica..wonders what he’s doing in bronx..sound system..he didn’t know he was creating history…invit..come to dj cool hercs party set up jamaica style..earliest hip hop…rap..part of af am cult..verbal battles..here at herks party..af ams and jamaicans together..’73..sudden concept of spinning records..unique way, art form..74 75..another frm..also hispanic & gay..disco..gets no respect…but it was important..w/o disco no m. Jackson, no usher..in manhattan..records..disc spun..if white grate dead, almond bros,..underground movement, black hispanic gay..dance again..mixing..never leave dance floor..77 sat night fever..mst imp of all time..j. travolta..exported disco cult..drugs..all this happ.. bee gees..trammpps…burn baby burn..disco inferno..red & white outfits..early hip hop would borrow from.some day will do disco shoe exhibit….or rush..sex pistols.springsteen..u had to select what u would embrace….people dressed their music..

Then bob marley..new sensib..lively up yourself..all this happening..rappers delight..sugarhill gang….soul train on tv..imp for black..this was seminal..just happened to catch it on camera..not the best

Three main entities..curtis blow..then up to run dmc ..hip hop is developing a consc style.that will explode…grand wizard theatre..scratching..then grand master flash. Popularized it..then .barbada (?)..flash a seminal giant..

Dj & mc..back then dj..was the guy..age of mc in future..dancing why they’re spinning records..bee boy bee girl..bboy break dancing..some of best break dancers were latino ..

Tagging..grafitti..becomes part..cey dams..tagging did a piece here ..been dodging cops for 3 decades…there’s a f you mentality in bronx..didn’t want to be part of discos..taggers..socs & psys studied.. I was in zurich..most expensive place in world..cab..graffitti wall..

[He periodically makes some of his prejudices obvious..re "conservative zurich"..wouldn’t apprec it in des moines iowa.."no offense to des moines"..let’s "rock n roll"..(it was a term for sexual icourse)..he’s talking to white christians….jazz also fr black culture ..means sex icourse.."

Posted by VANDERKOK on 2011-04-14 00:16:15

Tagged: , curtis blow , run dmc , grand master flash , grand wizard theatre , tagging , graffiti , nas , black planet , ll cool j , eminem , big daddy kane , mtv , krx-1 , public enemy , rakim , gangsta rap , diddy , puff daddy , p diddy , sean combs , arrested development , outcasts , wootang , nwa , shakur , tupac , ice cube , beastie boys , lords of underground , jayzee , lil wayne , santelli , grammy moody blues , bronx , russel simmons , sugarhill gang , last poets , marvin gaye , ojays , clive campbell , dj cool herc , saturday night fever , travolta , disco , bee gees , trampps , disco inferno , burn baby burn

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