#and thats before you take neurodivergency into account! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ace-of-gay · 11 months

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A Mountain is home

I currently dont have a masterlist set up for this collection but i hope you enjoy this none the less, this will eventually be posted on ao3 but i dont have an account currently

Warnings: age regression (not very in depth) , self destructive stimming like scratching pulling on tail thrashing and hitting ones self during a neurodivergent meltdown, quite panicked reader, reader has trauma, reader is a full ghoul this time cause this is still my interpretation of a fantasy universe <3, cuddles and ghoul-piles!!!

The word muzzle is used multiple times over but is referring to a mouth cover to symbolize silence

I headcannon mountain as autistic, no shoes for lifeee yup thats all

age regression is a coping mechanism that can be both voluntary and/or involuntary it is entirely safe and reccomended by therapists if they believe it would be effective for said person but as mentioned for some people it is entirely unpredictable, if this makes you uncomfortable please scroll away thank you <3

Not betad or edited

Word count: 5,611words (it basically wrote itself)

Youd been summoned just a week ago and it already seems as though youre once again fading into the background, no one had taught you if someone of your neurotype was acceptable in todays world, the bok-hord in hell or library as you read above the one here in the church of sin was not at all up to date on whats acceptable yet.

This is your second time being summoned, your first ritual was terrifying but what made it worse is they thought you were impossible to become a domestic ghoul, the uncertainty of being sent back from this one weighed on you, if you went back again no one would be there for you.

Holding yourself back and biting your tongue from doing or saying anything including the strange chirps and trills that kept you regulated, taking it upon yourself to be even more docile and quieter than the tall ghoul behind the drums, no matter the situation not a peep has been heard from you, all you did was play your instrument, there was no jumping around putting on a presentation, the others however did so, its just practice but you hadnt earned your place, you could always be sent back for even the most minor of slip up, its happend before and you for sure wont let it happen again.

《~♡~》

Friday nights are prime for the others, the guys in a ghoul-pile and girls raiding the fridge for snacks while watching a film, in the common area designated for only ghouls no one wearing their mask but yourself, only passing through doing your best to keep in the shadows, if youre out of place surely youll be duely punished, the first time you were summoned your family and friends were disappointed to see you sent back but your mother worst of all had said she had expected it , you had no place yet, so your room was for you the closest to safety.

Locking the door to your room as soon as you returned; taking off themask and the muzzle of sorts, some ghouls had facepaint instead but you weren't vocal so there was no reason, finally now to a safe place you let everything fall from its people pleasing manner into what felt most like yourself, jumping up and down to get your blood flowing and thoughts swarming.

"Who needs others when you can feel at home just being yourself", clicking and pacing and flapping your hands you were trying to catch up to what your body demanded, but

It just kept spilling, from the deepest places in your mind, crevasses full of discomfort, confusion, irritation and just the most overwhelming feeling that could muster itself from your being.

Nothing was working, it was too late to regulate and your mind took to a melt down, shaking your head wasnt good enough, grabbing hold of your horns, you violently shake yourself around, tail whipping and slashing all around you, and than the crying.

Oh how the crying was the worst part, shoving the muzzle back on it didn't do much for silence but its still an attempt, everyones expectations ringing shrill in your ears, you didn't come from a happy home, your family torn apart by sinners from christs hall a completely different take on sin, as it caused harm.

Hands over your muzzle to silence just a bit more if possible and than the silent choked sobs, more physically painful but it wouldn't draw attention, thats the last thing you wanted, slamming your fists down against your thighs followed by tugging on your tail and scratching the spade of it until it hurt, the only thing that could regulate you was small jolts and shocks of pain and than it stopped, you were right back where you started, silent but this time you felt like a kit.

A tiny kit who got told that they need to learn to be normal, but for the time being there was the innocence, nothing would happen if you weren't, you were just different, and you were alone but you were still safe.

Putting the helmet back on, you take all of the blankets and pillows that are in your room and shove them under your bed, taking the cover sheet and creating a curtain between the floor and the frame, all of your tiny kit-like self holed up in one place, a place as small as the family and friends in your life had made you, maybe this time you were sent here to be safe.

Fixing up the nest you made under your bed you let yourself hide away from the world, be as small and pure as your mind could muster and let all the terrible feelings melt away, chirping and trilling quietly as you lay there eventually being held close and coddled by darkness, falling asleep you would not return to the common rooms until most necessary.

Grabbing food and hiding once more, at some point when you were in the library and had found scratch paper, a sketchbook , a couple pencils and a mess of tacks set out in a bin that had the word 'FREE' in print on it for anyone to partake in the activity of drawing, collecting the supplies and a few books on ghouls with neurodivergencies, and just a simple fairy tale, you embark back to your room.

Over the weekend you had covered the walls in the corner of the room under your bed with fantastical pictures of your dreams, and drawings of each ghoul and papas youve seen so far.

《~♡~》

When monday came it was back to breakfast and lessons in the morning, lunch after practice around noon and communal chores, the others were very loud today, as for yourself youd been silent like predicted but you could feel eyes on you and could hear bickering but nothing quite clear of their words.

making dinner for everyone was the last thing, it was easy, it was one thing your family didn't ridicule you over, your cooking made anyone who was having a bad day feel better, there was so much passion that anyone could see and taste.

your tail flowing in an easy, comforting sway and a smile hidden under your muzzle, the first smile to bare your face outside of your room and it felt like this was what would give you your place to stay.

Dishing everyones plates with your home-made meal and taking it to the ghouls and ghoulettes where they each were was apparently unexpected and out of their ordinary, but you had no idea, how would you when you hide away, maybe they would take that into consideration. This was also one of the first times you got to hear others address you, smiles and bright eyes shared when they where blown away by your cooking, you dished up yourself and sat at the island counter crouching on a wooden stool, sitting on them hurts the backs of your legs and crouching was more like hugging yourself anyway.

Soon enough people would march in putting their dishes in the sink giving a thankyou and a smile or a compliment to your cooking, slowly eating your food, savoring each bite, the comments from others causing your tail to pick up its sway with a little flick in it, maybe itll be okay.

You go to put your dish in the sink after rinsing it off when the tall guy from behind the drums approaches, while just as quiet as you he was also playful like the others.

"Hey y/n dinner was amazing, i cant wait til next week to see what you come up with" he exclaimed, "im mountain by the way, i know i didn't exactly introduce myself at all since you first got here, we wanted you to settle in, you seemed very stressed" he added before someone shouted for him from the other room, leaving with a smile and wave.

There was no expectation for you to respond, no expectation to look someone in the eyes, you let out a small chirp joined by a small movement in your hands.

《~♡~》

Back in your room you let your tail wag wildly, pulling the books you'd been reading up on, you had gotten from them the fact that over the years some churches of sin have allowed a better understanding and acceptance for people and ghouls alike with neurodivergencies to be better recognized and seen as equals, there were things they didn't tell you about back in hell when you were told of your neurotype, like your sounds and movement for self regulation was called stimming and that it can be harmful but it can also be helpful just depending on the purpose and action, you had copied information from the book down on resources and important things you thought would help, these books were the most helpful and the fairy-tale was perfect however you needed a new one since youve read this one so many times you knew every line, you take the books back to the library.

Putting them back on their respective shelfs you pick out two new fairy-tales and stop by the free stuff bin, taking pencil lead an eraser and a new sketchbook, youve already filled your first one in just a few days, you dont have anymore room on the walls around your nest for more loose paper sketches so you need the sketchbook instead.

On your walk back to your room admiring the stained glass windows, lost in thoughts somewhere between regression and big feelings, letting them mingle and intertwine,

So lost in thought you dont see when papa copia started coming closer until he spoke up, "good evening y/n" a small scream torn from you as you are brought back to right now practically jumping out of your skin, your eyes big as you process who it is, the first time anyone has heard your voice in any way and it obviously had to be a panicked scream, this wouldn't sit well with your family, your mind shifting farther into regression, just wanting to be in your room again.

"My apologies little one" littleone? Is it that obvious you think to yourself, "it was not my intention to frighten you, i see youve taken a liking to the library, what books have you got there?" Hanging your head in shame and slight worry you show him the two fairy-tales and he breaks out in a grin "i remember reading those, i might have to look at them once more! A very good choice, Molto bene indeed" finishing up your silent-sided conversation you rush quickly back to your room, theres been too much interaction and what did papa copia mean by 'little one?'

《~♡~》

After a few days of this halfsided banter from the ghouls and papa youre started to feel a little more comfortable.

A knock on your door pulled you from your slumber, the first couple times had made their way into your dream, you get up and open the door to the ghouls and ghoulettes standing in the hall, a few smiles making their way on a few faces, and thats when you realize youre not wearing your mask or muzzle, heat rushing to your ears and cheeks causing your cool grey skin to tint purple, hanging your head in embarrassment while rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, "were sorry to wake you but were meeting early today because papa has a meeting with the clergy and after lessons and practice mix we have the rest of the day off", nodding you return into your room to get changed and to put on your muzzle and mask, the group waiting outside of your room for you to walk with them.

Lessons and practice going by quickly you find yourself in the library,helmet off, curled up and tucked into one of the couches reading another fairy-tale, looking intently at the pictures, your eyes irritated from not getting all of the sleep you normally get, theyre slowly drifting shut, you can only stay awake so much longer before your mind takes you to a rem sleep.

Waking up to mountain shaking you awake he smiles gently, "hey sleepy head, i was looking for you, its lunch time but it seems as though youre tired, we'll get you to your room and ill bring lunch to you there" he was a gentle giant ghoul and although you haven't said anything to anyone youre starting to warm up to him, he puts a book mark in the book and helps you up handing you your mask, you decide to just carry it with you.

Opening your door he hands you the book and you set it down atop your bed along with your mask, "do you want me to knock when i come back?" Thinking for a moment and shaking your head 'no' you'll probably just be asleep again, taking off the muzzle you set it with your mask getting ontop of your empty bed you curl up waiting while slightly dozing.

When he returns he walks in with your plate in hand, "wheres you stuff bud? Did they move you into an unready room?" You once more shake your head, pulling up the bedsheet curtain putting your nest on display, "aaah a safe spot, i completely understand, im here if you need anything, just holler my way" he kids while stepping out.

"Can you- stay?" You mutter through a slightly broken voice, catching him off guard, youre not sure why you asked but he seems easy to open up to, hes kinda like you.

"Id be honored"

You sat there mostly quiet eating but occasionally you'd respond and every time he would be looking elsewhere but the smile on his face said he was paying attention.

The more you got to know him the more you realized youre very similar to him.

《~♡~》

The next couple weeks youd spend lunch with him sharing stories while you sat in your nest and him at your desk, he talked about how fond the ghouls and ghoulettes and even the papas were of you, they all looked forward to you hopefully someday talk full sentences with them but for now with you slowly coming out of your shell, wearing your mask and muzzle less often and spending more time somewhat near the group, for now they were content watching you grow and become more of yourself.

You gave each person a sketch youd do of them from observation and mountain even brought you another sketchbook when he noticed you were running low on pages, you told him why youve been scared to come out of your room and your past experience with your previous summoning, you however didn't tell him why it failed but he understood itll take some time.

《~♡~》

One evening after another one of your delicious meals you were invited to watch a movie with everyone, accepting the offer you show up in your hoodie you just recently bought and pajama pants, socks with sticky tabs on the bottom so you didn't slip on the marble floors, you balled yourself up in a beanbag chair, others had grabbed pillows or stuffed animals from the pile in the corner, you go over to look through the pile, pulling out a well loved multi-textured dog plush, smiling and taking it over to your spot with you, focused on the textures, "very good choice little wisp" mountain hummed, your tail thumping against the bean bag chair, your cheeks and ears dusted purple once more, "i haven't held one since i was very small" you return.

After the movie you gave the plush one last hug before placing it atop the pile, "you know if you want you can take it to your room with you, we have them here for everyone" he encouraged but you shook your head, "he would miss his friends and i dont want to take someone elses opportunity of loving him away", little did you know the ghouls left in the room all felt their hearts melt, this wasnt new to them, theyve met ghouls and people whose minds are permanently part kit, they wouldn't say anything until you said something first, youre part of the family, you deserve to do it on your own terms.

Just the next evening when you returned from the library you come to find a black gift

Bag infront of your door with a tag that has your name on it.

Entering your room you set everything down before you open the bag, youre met with a soft multi-texture plush almost identical to the one from the other night but this one had weighted feet,and a book of several fairy-tales with a few purple tabs on certain pages along with it. A card that says, "a plush specifically for you and your love, i hope you give him a wonderful name, and a book my mother read to me when i was just a kit, one that you dont have to take back to the library"

Holding the plush out infront to look at him your headspace slipping quickly, thankfully you were in the safety of your bedroom and he would fit perfectly into your nest with you.

With plenty of time between now and dinner time, your chores being done and someone else being on dinner duty you took right now to relax.

in comfortable clothes you lay down in your nest with your book and the stuffy you named chip cause he reminded you of chocolate chip cookies, you named him late at night when you were feeling very small and it just stuck.

Closing your eyes when the words in the book were adding to the strain, from all the light today, hunger pulling a whine from you, if you slept for now youd wake up at the perfect time to eat dinner, you might even sit with rain and talk about the books youve read recently outside of the fairy-tales.

Being pulled out of your dreams by someone gently shaking you awake and calling your name, confusion built it way to your face, he doesn't need to knock but normally he chooses to, what brought him in?

"I know youre sleepy but its dinner time and i know you like your routine, i tried knocking but you were out cold" he states after reading your scrunched and slightly confused face, handing you your bowl, tonight cirrus and swiss made dinner together.

Mountain sits on the floor across from you as you both ate in a comfortable silence, thats one thing about him, he tries to make sure hes not being a trigger for anyone with misophonia.

Eating slowly and running your hand along the textures of your stuffy, "s'named chip" you just barely say aloud, causing him to smile, "thats the most perfect name for him, does he give the best of cuddles?" Nodding youre completely unaware of the fact hes talking to you as if you were a kit, he was just being kind and attentive for all you knew, and while yes thats completely true he also saw through your silence, hes talked to semi-permanent kit-minded ghouls and he knew it was for safety of mind.

Both of you done with dinner, you pull out your sketchbook as he gets up to take the dishes to the kitchen, standing in the doorway looking down at you with a smile upon his face, "do you want me to come back after i put the dishes in the kitchen?" Watching as you ponder for a moment before nodding, looking up at him, never once more than now have you longed for physical contact with someone but you little mind craves it.

He returned quickly to see you moving your nest about, your movements less exact and a little choppy, he could see the irritation when the blankets wouldn't flatten out so he got down to help, fixing it for you he sat back on his knees when you planted yourself down closer to the wall than normal, you pat the spot next to you while holding chip close to your chest.

"You want me to cuddle little wisp?" He questioned already taking his jacket off before you hummed in response.

Cuddling was very common amongst ghouls so there was no questions asked as to why

It was naturally so second nature for most.

Curling into him he holds you close, your head resting on his chest, you could just fall asleep right now but you fought that instinct so you could savor a moment of feeling completely safe, where youre not being overstimulated.

"When i was first summoned i read those exact same books on ghouls with neurodivergencies, i remember reading that someone with a mind like the one both of us have can easily struggle in public environments or around new people"

He retold, causing you to question how he knew you read them.

"Oh wisp, i can hear just how stirring you mind can be, i saw you walking back to the library to return them, i want you to know that you are safe here with me and all of the others, im honored to cuddle, i didn't join a ghoul-pile until several months of being here."

Nodding to yourself, taking a moment to process his words when your own join the party.

"Jus cant do touch with others almost ever, makes brain hurt and than hurts me aswell"

Your eyes started to sleepily flutterand he picks up the fairy-tales book he brought you, opening it up to one of the purple tabs, some of his favorites.

He read you to sleep, when his pants were starting to put deep seam imprints into his legs causing him discomfort, he goes to leave the room but is stopped by you plea for him to stay, "ill be right back little mouse."

And like promised he did return in much more comfortable clothes, a blanket and a comfort item of his own, cuddling back up with you halfway ontop of him, covering the both of you with his blanket, setting your temporarily forgotten of stuffie in the corner above your head along with his.

《~♡~》

From than forward you and mountain spent Friday nights in your room reading and cuddling, going to lessons and practice together, he was helping you open up, when it would be your night to make dinner, which you had requested to have more than once a week instead of sink duty because soggy wet hands felt offensive to your skin, he would sit at the island watching unless one of his chores intercepted that period of time or if another ghoul requested his company.

It took five months to ease you out of you shell, at four you had brought up the regression and neurodivergency topics to the others and than out of fear you hid in your room for the weekend until dew stopped by inviting you to watch a movie with the others which you happily obliged to do so, remembering that its okay to be around others and be yourself, that night you sat on the couch behind the ghoul-pile falling asleep with chip in your arms, your tail intertwined with mountains.

Not wearing your mask unless you needed a break or everyone else was, copia had taken you aside at one point to find fabrics that looked like the others but were sensory safe so when it was time for uniforms you would feel comfortable.

At night you would go out to the garden in secret and jump around, spin, stomp, trill, chirp, coo and so much more. It helped tremendously.

《~♡~》

Tonight unlike the others was much louder in your head and harder to feel okay, already regressed you tried stomping around and flailing your hands but without meaning to you were once more pulling on your tail and scratching it painful and raw, the garden was closed for the night with new fertilizer being put down, taking chip you trail your way down to one of the last rooms, the shiny name plate reading 'mountain' you gave a slightly too heavy knock on the door, rocking back and forth on your feet, he answers and is suprised to see you standing there with deep grey tear tracks down your face, chip under your arm and your tail in hand scratching as you fumble with your words.

Letting you in he pats the bed for you to sit down while he turns on the light and pulls a shirt on over your head, sniffles and hiccups break your silence, he take your hands and holds them for a moment, watching the spade of your tail drop small dots of blood onto the marble floor, "come with me little wisp, its okay" he leads you to the bathroom, picking you up and setting you on the counter, lifting his tail for you to hold on, he knew full well you wouldn't scratch his, tracing the scars on his tail had you questioning if he did the same.

As he took hydrogen peroxide cleaning the small cuts and scrapes pulling a hiss from you in reaction, "i know hun, im sorry ive got to be mean and clean it but weve got to take care of it so it doesn't get icky ya-know?" He soothes, "you see the ones on my tail, theyre from the same thing, sometimes i almost start scratching at them again but i normally just hold my tail and put lotion on the scars to feel like im cleaning it up once more"

Once hes done patching you up he once again takes your hands leading you to his bed and looking through his closet. His room was well decorated and filled, a queen sized pillow top mattress and black wooden four poster bed frame against the wall, he had a collection of old trinkets including a camera that takes film, your father used to have one, several gas masks, a homophone record player. On the wall above his desk was a cork board coverd in the drawing youd given him, small trinkets littler his desk, before you could look further he brings over a box of similar small trinkets setting them infront of you.

"You can dump the box out if you want, find whatever works best, i have plenty more" dumping them out you turn the box upside down organizing them, finding three, liking them the most you put the duplicates of them and all the others away back in the box holding onto the three youd picked out, he puts the box under his bed, seating himself next to you, leaning into his side as he turns on one of the movies you'd taken interest in, "hey wisp can i hold chip?", nodding against his chest, paying deep attention to his heartbeat how slow and rhythmic, tapping your tail against the bed in the same beats, occasionally humming and trilling, his left hand running up and down your back, occasionally running though your hair gently.

"Youre gonna be okay little mouse, ive got you".

《~♡~》

Your first ghoul pile was something very special, stuffies piled everywhere, they all had banded together to make the room perfect for your comfort, your favorite music playing in the background, dew and sunshine had found you in the library quietly crying flicking around one of the fidgets mountain gave you

Humming and rocking back and forth, chip sitting ontop of your tail, you couldn't find mountain and you didn't want to taint the energy of your nest. Sunshine sat with you as dew went to find mountain, she lifted chip for a moment, carefully intertwining her tail with yours setting chip on your tails.

Dew returned around 10 minutes late with a smile upon his face, taking your open hand with sunshine carrying chip, they took you through the abbey to the lounge where the blanket, stuffy and pillow pile was spread across the floor, mountain and all the other were waiting, some of them already cuddled up, and others walking around, drawing the curtains and dimming lights, filling up a cooler to keep near the pile, mountain lead you to the group, curling himself around you with chip between the two of you, sunshine still connected to you laying back to back with you.

The first time being so close to the others all together and for once your brain lets it happen, youre not sure whose hand is running through your hair but it causes you to chirp, nuzzling you head into the hand.

Swiss tapping his forehead against yours, "youre welcome to stay as long as you need, this is your pile."

Theyre all so much more calm and centered on one another when theyre cuddled, with the warmth from all of the bodies it made it very easy to slip into a smaller headspace.

Cirrus reaching over mountain to wipe away the tear tracks with a wet cloth, they already had a feeling youd be disoriented with the news of the tour starting at the end of this month and the arrival of the outfits.

Cooing and trilling, others trilling back made you excitedly laugh.

《~♡~》

Youve been attached to at least one ghoul at all times, they knew you liked holding tails until you had to use your charm to pass as human, copia gave you a hug before he headed out first.

This was the first time youve seen mountain wear shoes, it looked as abnormal as it felt to not have a tail.

Standing in your place when papa introduces the band, not paying attention to him but instead the piece in your ear counting down til the lights cut off and mountain and dew are counted in, mountain looks to you taking an exasperated deep breath telling you to take one aswell, feeling the lights go out and the beat of mounts drums through the floor, counting the cymbal crashes and its time for you to join in, as soon as your hands start moving, you feel it, absolute euphoria, youre radioactive with energy, the fans going wild, youre practically thrashing as you play, prancing around and jumping when youve got time to spare you run up front adding flair and showmanship to the ceremony, interacting with the others.

By the end youre absolutely drained, enough energy to hop about and screech getting rid of the last bit of energy, if all of the tour is like this youre gonna have an absolute blast, mountain hands you a couple drumsticks for you to throw after taking a bow, and than perching yourself in 'frog crouch' on mountains riser next to his drums watching everyone go about their ending routines, people throwing stuff on stage, bracelets and flags to hand made gothic style stuffed animals, the ghouls picking some stuff up to look at em, handing them to the designated ghouls if there was a name and handing the rest to anyone else like yourself, the ghoulettes and even papa, swiss picked up a couple hand made stuffed animals bringing them to sit next to you.

When it was time to leave the stage mountain came over opening his arms, you lean forward wrapping your arms around his shoulders and he sets you down on you feet, grabbing the teddy's leaning into his side, hes completely drenched in sweat but so are you, it was practically a work out so it was worth it.

In the van having let down the human charm you wash up and slip into pajamas, the stuffies and bracelets set in your bunk you stare out the window waiting flicking your fidget around, Cumulus walks by stopping to give you a hug, "you did great wisp, your energy was so contagious. ", nodding and tapping your forehead against hers in a silent communication, you were absolutely exhausted.

As soon as mountain is out of the shower you push yourself into his chest, finally time to rest, and with your favorite ghoul no doubt, he hands you chip, folding into one another he holds you gently, as he pulls out the fairy tale he reads your favorites in the book, looking down when youre not humming out your regular vocal stims he realizes youve fallen asleep with your head on his chest, his hands running up and down your spine, tail occasionally thumping against the bed followed by nuzzling against him, "sleep well little wisp, you were so radiant tonight.

《~♡~》

Your room at the church of sin was finally decorated, still sleeping in your nest, the ghouls helped you assemble a proper loft bed with the mattress from your previous bed as part of the nest below, stuffies from the tour everywhere and bracelets hung on a set of racks to display them, posters scatterd on your walls, some plushies piled on the top matteress but keeping that open for the most part if someone wants to hang out. A bookshelf full of normal books and fairy-tales, a starry curtain over your window with a matching opposite one around your nest. Chip in his spot as always hes constantly waiting for your cuddles.

Drawings of both your own and others, many interpretation of what fans saw you as, they call you gargoyle, but to the ghouls youre just a little wisp or little mouse, you were your most accurate self, you were finally at home.

(Accidentally posted the unfixed version, sorry bout that)

#nameless ghouls x little reader #nameless ghouls x reader #nameless ghouls x gn reader #nameless ghouls x gender neutral reader #nameless ghouls x fem reader #nameless ghouls x f! reader #nameless ghouls x male reader #nameless ghouls x m! reader #nameless ghouls x ghoul reader #nameless ghouls x agere reader #nameless ghouls x neurodivergent reader #nameless ghouls x autistic reader #autistic reader #mountain x reader #mountain earth ghoul x reader #agere reader #alternative universe

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mentalserpents · 4 days

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PINNED POST

hi. im tyler. he/they. 18. art student. well. used to be. before the horrors. why couldnt it have been dragons just dragons i would have been fine with just dragons but noooo. Anyways. thought id change my pfp to fit the occasion. the name stays tho cuz ive had this url since middle school and by god im not changing it now. explodes. anyways i have a uhhhhh. chime echo? i think thats what its called? idk i wasnt huge into pokemon before all this.

oh also my sister may occasionally steal my phone to post shit. hold on lemme pass it to her so she can make her intro

haaiiii :3 im ramona!!!! she/her. of course i have dark hair and pronounce lmao. not telling yall my age bc ummm im literally neurodivergent and a minor. if i steal tylers phone ill just like. sign off on the post or smth. im just making my text blue for easy readin

[ OOC: It is STRONGLY recommended that you read the information beneath the cut!] // tw apocalypse, unreality, high stakes

[Likes and follows come from @jaimemes]

Summary

We put the IRL in PKMN IRL lmao This blog takes place in our reality, the real world, but Pokemon suddenly began to appear over a year ago through Ultra Wormholes. Just the Pokemon. No Pokeballs, no healing items, no tech specific to the Pokemon world. Without the Pokemon-specific infrastructure that the fictional games have, our reality was fully unprepared for the arrival of Pocket Monsters, and quickly fell into chaos.

As such, there is a heavy blanket warning for apocalypse and unreality on this blog.

If you have questions do not be afraid to ask!

⚠ WARNINGS ⚠

Apocalypse / Post-Apocalypse

Big unreality warning!

High Stakes often!

By nature of this world not having the same stuff as the PKMN World this is very much a Nuzlocke in a sense but worse as no proper healing items exist nor Pokeballs.

Possible death, injury, etc.

When interacting with this blog, please make sure to tag your posts properly so those who do not wish to see this are not subjected to the posts here!

Blog Guidelines

Pelipper Mail / Malice + Musharna Mail / Malice are OFF.

Magic Anons are OFF.

Any kind of Pokemon IRL account is welcomed to interact! Sentient Pokemon, fallers, eeby deebies, evil teams, ect.

Tags

#tyler talks -> Any post made by Tyler #ramona rambles -> any post made by Ramona #pokepocalypse -> all ic posts will be tagged with this! I urge anyone interacting with this blog to also tag with this so people can block the tag if needed!

My friends blogs who are also in this world!

@open-the-sky

@antlernyx

@inverse-embers

#pkmn irl #tyler talks #ramona rambles #pokepocalypse #tw apocalypse #tw unreality

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lemonsugarkk · 4 months

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🌟🌟 presentation🌟🌟

hello everybody ,taking advantage and i made my card for links of my social media and my basic information

but if anyone a interesed more a what I put in the mentioned card(like more detailed)...okey lets do it

hi i am a lemonsugar eclipse(o call me lemon if you want)

i am a drawer,mostly fanartits of things i like but ocassionally i made my own things 🖊✍️

i am latina,from mexico but i dont wanna detail were come from for obvisly reason

but usually use english form tumblr for how work this place(in my other social medias i use more the spanish) and thats sometimes i have bad english

i am a neurodivergent more especific a ASD level 1♾️

multifandom and multishipper

and yeah,i love very much the coffe☕️☕️ :3

and finish about me so i left my "before you follow" and my "dont follow me" (personally the dont interact with me or dni is felt the counterproductive in the long term)

okey lets stared with

Byf:

How i present myself,i am multifandom,yeah i have some fandoms so hyperfixed also i wanna draw of other media too,so probably i draw or share sometimes of i like,if not like the other media for y or x reason its ok,just dont be rude for that

Same thing of the ships

I dont take request for my box ask(for now,if i make some post i said free requests,of there here you coment about that),you can make questions about me or my ocs(as long as they are educated) and hypotecally made the challenge like "faces expressions for draws" or "option for outfits" can you use the box

Probally i make post nondraws principally of a anuncement of my proyects(mostly comics) or sharing some ideas

Dfm:

🌸🌼>[you can enjoy my draws and interact that but i preferely not follow me,anyway its work like dlc of byf]<🌼🌸

Persons into the shipping discourse,and more the side who think the be rude and send s#ibait,d3atht threats and awful thinks for fictionals couples is ok

Persons into a sub-culture who hurt herself(this not the form you helped and you are a amazing person and i hope your friends or family helped for your situation)

The edgys and dudebros

🌼🌸>[and the mostly importly of all and definitly is a big NO]<🌸🌼

PEOPLE WHO HURT REAL PEOPLE/ LIVING BEING(like racist,lgbtphobics,ableist and similiar things)

Okey i leave my byf and dfm,so i can left

🌟bounderies for my draws🌟

-as long as they give me the credits i give permission of all my work you can be reuploaded,edits and translations of my comics(because probably my long comics with more pages i go use more my usual language)

-if someone don give me a credit form my work,just dialogue the person and if said no,see if that person does the same with other drafters to check whether or not it is worthwhile with the person.

-but definily i dont like into my work is used for motived monetary use,or used in ai or nfts

And yeah and finaling with the presetation i leave my other blog:

@whpoppyxsallyblog (mostly account of sharing fanarts of a wonderful and underrated ship popstar but you use the box ask for share ideas like fanfics,aus,headcannons about that o recomendate ideas of dynamics like "shipping week" or similiars).

......

bro,i made a very long presentation and probally anyone no reading all of this but i hope i clarify some things and communicate of all you,and i hope to get along and i wish to better💕💕✨️✨️

#presentation #before you follow #info post #dont follow me #artist bounderies #bounderies

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apollos-boyfriend · 2 years

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AYO fellow "gifted" neurodivergent lets go! There is absolutely a link there I think. Every single one of my fellow classmates eventually goes "bro I got a diagnostics finally and it explained a lot". My "gifted" classes were back when the district gave the teachers for those classes a fair budget for more hands on/different study structure classes and man, I really wish more kids nowadays would have the option to explore what studying structures worked for them. Classes would be much more enjoyable, but thats something with economic and budgeting factors for our poor underpaid education system unfortunately.

Thankfully those classes were general requirement for all students! :D However, this was early 2010's, back when there was, at least some semblance of varied classes outside of common core education. I don't think they even teach kids computer sciences anymore with learning excel, SEO usage or any of the other common tools kids should be able to use efficiently. I had one of the last art classes in my school sadly, I am always jealous to hear about how my dad learned all these neat skills in home ec.

no yeah. it makes me so sad, bc that "gifted" curriculum no longer exists. it got shut down a few years ago due to low funding. and. genuinely. those classes were the best thing that ever happened to me. it was one of the first places i actually felt seen, because while it was somewhat math-heavy, it also focused so much on the arts. thinking back on it, it was also just? super accessible? it had fidget toys and kids just weren't punished for "being a distraction". there were quiet areas and little nooks and every staircase had a matching ramp. at least, there were before the building got torn down. they moved the kids to the high school after that, and really, whose fucking bright idea was it to move 50-some clearly neurodivergent elementary-age kids from a building SPECIFICALLY built to accommodate their needs to a high school??

anyways. im rambling. i 100% agree. when i was in middle school, you had to take at least one computer, home ec, art, and woodworking class in sixth grade. i hope they're still required, but knowing how badly my district cuts funds, i doubt it. shit like that's always so depressing to see. when you think about it, some reasons as to why the younger gens act and operate the way they do makes a lot more sense when taking into account the sheer amount of budget cuts on most education programs

#muse talk #anon #man. that place was genuinely my safe haven for most of elementary school LMAO #it makes me sad that other kids wont ever have that experience :(

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beepathan · 2 years

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Since we’re doing charisma house questions for the charisma house tumblr person, can you rank the characters from most problematic to least problematic and state why.

Also I hope you know that I am in no way threading it you to place Terra as least problematic and in no way will throw a fit if you say he is anything but an unproblematic queen 🔪

for the purposes of this ask i am going to be ignoring rikais music video, for hopefully obvious reasons to anyone who has seen it (as it would instantly place him in first)

so lets start off by figuring out what exactly we mean by problematic. is it which character would get cancelled on twitter the fastest? is it which characters charisma is most harmful to themself and those around them? is it just vibes? we need a definition to base our understanding of "problematic" around before we even start looking at the characters.

one dictionary definition of problematic is “unresolved or dubious”, so for the purposes of this analysis i am going to rank them based on their perceived controversial value; i.e., which character would spark the most controversy in an online fandom space. a vriska, if you will.

the least problematic charisma house is sarukawa. first of all, hes a short king, and second of all,his whole thing is really easy to figure out and work around. there isnt any sort of controversy i can imagine going on with him, other than maybe the fact that he might be in a gang and is furry-coded.

for our second least problematic member of the charisma house, i think im going to have to go with terra. what controversy would there even be? sure he inconveniences others for the sake of his own self love, but honestly all its really resulted in so far is being late to coffee, broken mirrors, and... a man jumping out of a window, property damage, displacing another member from his own living space... well, i never said he wouldnt still have some issues. but overall, terra just lives for himself, and i dont think thats going to get him called out. maybe an argument can be made for the moral implications of being straight up in love with your self, but im not getting into that

it shouldnt come as a surprise that i also dont think rikai is problematic... mostly. like i said before, were ignoring his music video for this post, so thats not where his controversy comes in. hes an advocate for order, justice, and safety, so obviously, overall this is pretty good, right? but he also enforces his ideals onto others without regard for their own beliefs, for example, the rikais morning track where he gets everyone up at 5am because he, personally, goes to sleep at 9pm and thats a healthy time to wake up for him. however, not everyone follows that same sleep schedule, so obviously it wouldnt be healthy for them to wake up at that particular time... and that can be applied to basically everything he does. i could definitely see some discourse about the validity of trying to force your lifestyle onto others, especially when you take into account the fact that rikai apologists would absolutely defend him by saying hes autistic (coded) so he cant help his obsession with order. hes a 25 year old neurodivergent minor, how could you say hes in the wrong?!

next up was close between amahiko and iori, and iori wins this one through plausible deniability and having no self esteem. like, hes obviously a masochist, and forcing everyone around you to sign a contract agreeing to use you for everything is clearly manipulative. but! dont forget, some people devote their lives to serving others to cope with the fact that they view themselves as less than human, and an empty shell devoid of anything that needs to be filled with the commands of others! so i could see controversy there, and honestly im so glad charisma house isnt huge here, because i did not enjoy imagining it.

like i just said, amahiko comes out ahead of iori because... i mean. come on... the controversy here is fairly obvious, and this is the website where people weep about kink at pride. absolutely no way amahiko is going to come out of here without a multitude of callout posts and dissertations about how anyone who likes him is problematic. his whole thing is sex! he calls everyone sexy! he stripped at the christmas party! he says thanks when people call him a perv! hes clearly a creep who needs to be contained, thank god terra trapped him in his room that one time... you see what i mean? like, there is absolutely nuance here, and i can get into that some other time, but i dont think the online world would take kindly to the minister of sexy affairs.

now whos in second place? who do we have left? its fumiya. i mean like, his whole thing is... i dont even know. i mean like, just look at him. he lies for fun, he steals, he made everyone ride off a cliff... but most importantly, hes a minor. i dont think i have to elaborate here

this may come as a shock, but ohse is the most problematic charisma house. how?! ray, how on earth is ohse problematic?! hes just a suicidal shut in! yeah, but you have to remember, im looking at their potential controversial value here, and ohse is absolutely ripe for discourse. hes guilt tripping everyone! is he even taking care of his lizard!? we dont need a character whos shtick is that they keep trying to kill themself in 2022! even if he doesnt mean to, his self deprecation is harmful to others! he has blue hair and pronouns!

well im tired now so the end

#asks #anon #im not 100% on some of these rankings but i didnt have time to make a chart or anything like i wanted to #like i wanted to be a bit more scientific about this but. its mainly just based on the vibes and some visions i had #maybe some other time i can do some math to make a more accurate ranking but for now. thisll do

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creacherkeeper · 3 years

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so i’ve seen some people (mostly on twitter) say things like “oh everyone on the internet thinks theyre autistic” in ways that are mostly used to dismiss self-dx but i kind of wanted to talk about that for a second. so pardon the ramble

disclaimer up front that i am super PRO self dx as someone who is professionally diagnosed, has done a ton of autism advocacy in leadership positions, and just started a new job working with autistic people in a professional social work capacity

so there IS this stereotype of like. everyone in certain circles thinking theyre autistic because its like some sort of trend or excuse for certain behaviors. the people saying this are seemingly under the assumption that some/most of these people are NOT ACTUALLY autistic and are just claiming to be

but here’s the thing. a lot of this happens in fandom circles. you know, fandom, a place where people talk at length about interests in a very deep and focused capacity where you can manage your social circle so most of the people youre talking to shares interests and wants to talk about them a lot? you know, online, that has a specific way of communicating that can be easier to read for someone who struggles with body language and where people wont subconsciously discriminate against folks who have othered body language and speaking? i’m saying that fandom is a place that inherently attracts neurodivergent people, especially autistic people who are more likely to be introverted (not all, i am a ~rare extroverted autistic~) and want to socialize more online where they have more control over communication and content

also, autistic people are more likely to be influential in fandoms because they’re usually the ones sticking with fandoms for long periods of time and producing a lot of consistent content for it. if someone has been running a fandom-specific blog for years and has a hundred fics written for it (or gifsets or art or meta etc) i can guarantee theyre more likely to be autistic than any random person on the street. so you have a lot of autistic BNFs (big name fan) who are not only attracting other fans like themselves, but are sometimes making posts or reblogging things about neurodivergency and autism. which attracts MORE autistic people to their blog/fandom but ALSO is exposing non-dx’d people to what autism is who maybe wouldnt have encountered it otherwise. so people who maybe never wouldve gotten dx’d or self dx’d are now learning about autism in fandom spaces and going “wait thats me!!”. so having prominent autistic people is cultivating a circle of neurodivergence in fandom

NOW before you come at me with like “but autism isnt that common!!! they cant all be autistic!!!” im going to argue that autism is WAY WAY MORE COMMON THAN MOST PEOPLE THINK IT IS

when you hear these statistics like “1 in 60 people are autistic” (some recent stats say 1 in 54) THIS IS MISLEADING because it is mostly based on DIAGNOSED CHILDREN and not the actual prevalence of autistic people

diagnosis is not only financially inaccessible and locationally inaccessible (i dont think thats a word but um. yeah a lot of people do not have diagnositicians anywhere near them) but diagnosis is also skewed heavily towards stereotypically-presenting white male children!! adults, AFAB/female presenting people, and people of color are MORE likely to get misdiagnosed and LESS likely to be diagnosed with autism even if they are autistic. plus, a lot of people get diagnosed later in life and wouldnt be included in statistics about children (i was dx’d at age 19 after seeking out a diagnosis myself against the wishes of my parents who never wouldve let me get evaluated had i been a minor. i am still autistic and should be counted.). not only that, but our diagnostic criteria is heavily biased towards how autism presents in DISTRESSED AND TRAUMATIZED individuals which means healthy and happy autistic people probably will not get a diagnosis from a professional even if they are autistic

basically what i’m saying is we have no idea how prevalent autism is, but it is probably way way more common than people think, even going off of that “1 in 54 children are diagnosed” statistic. so taking into account that autism could make up a significant portion of the population, that we tend to group together even if we dont know we’re/others are autistic, AND that fandom/the internet is an inherently attractive model of community to autistic people .....

yeah, “everyone on the internet thinks theyre autistic” literally what of it. we probably are mind your business

#actually autistic #ActuallyAutistic #autism #fandom #THE BOLD AND ITALICS IS FOR MY NEURODIVERGENT FRIENDS WHO SAW THE BLOCKS OF TEXT AND FLINCHED #I WILL PEPPER IN SOME VISUAL STIMULI #FOR U #I W I L L ENGAGE YOUR BRAINS IN THIS TOPIC #i havent seen any like mutuals or anything say this #this is for other people out there #and for you to arm yourself with knowledge #if anyone had specific questions on points im happy to elaborate

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monsterqueers · 3 years

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New Essay Up

New essay up on the website!

props and credit to @shadowfae , whos panel on problematic sources at Othercon 2021 motivated and inspired me to write about morality differences.

Alignments - A Memory Dump Essay

Essay has also been transcribed under this readmore if thats easier to read for anyone.

Morality, in The Before, was different, in the sense that there were Allignments.

I am A Silver Dragon, from a slightly AU-ed Dungeons and Dragons world. Alignments there dictated whether you were good or evil, lawful or chaotic. You may have seen the grid around, the nine squares with things like ‘neutral good’ and ‘lawful evil’ on them. This is that.

When I say ‘good’ and ‘evil’ I mean a different concept than the behavior choices that fall into ‘doing harm’ and ‘helping people’. There were words differing between the two in dragonic, though I do not remember them now, for what I am talking about.

In this world, ‘good’, ‘evil’, ‘lawful’ and ‘chaotic’ - the dragonic forms of these words, were not behavior descriptors, nor intention descriptions. They were factions, and many species simply could not choose their born faction or change it very much if they could. These factions were generally due to god interference in the creation of that species, and it meant certain magics worked or did not work against/for them or they had traits that were often seen as harmful. The correct translation for ‘good’ and ‘evil’ is more accurately ‘darkness’ and ‘light’, though lawful and chaotic are close enough to ‘things that follow order’, and ‘things that reject order’.

These alignments said very little about the behavior they exhibited or the morals they had. The dragonic word for ‘evil’ as in how people here use it to mean ‘does harm to others’ could be retranslated as ‘being an asshole’. A person aligned lawful good could regularly commit tax fraud and beat their wife, and a person who was chaotic evil could be a pacifist who gardens and is passionate about healthcare reform.

For some of the littlefolk (the Polite translated dragonic word for humans and elves and the like), this was more flexible, and generally littlefolk would not consider those who did large amounts of harm to their in-group to be good aligned, nor people who had never done harm any worse than neutral, despite this not being the case magically speaking. It could make things rather confusing when talking to the layman, as much of the littlefolk could simply choose whatever faction they liked and often could jump ship whenever they liked too.

There were other various littlefolk somewhat limited in their alignment choice however- a Drow could not be ‘good’, and Aasimir could not be ‘evil’, for example. Usually this was split down the good and evil, rather than lawful and chaotic, as the ‘good’ and ‘evil’ deities held the most active sway.

Think of it like nationality, I suppose. Its the closest equivalent. Some people can't ever gain citizenship in a country other than their country of birth even if they want to, others can do so with a bit of work.

Dragons, however, didn’t have this sort of choice. All true dragons were born a specific alignment to do with their species, and inherent instincts to follow the tenants generally professed by that faction. This is one of the major traits that separated a True -also known as Greater- Dragon from other dragonic creatures, such as fairy dragons, wyverns, and rust dragons, actually. Other dragonic creatures had some wiggle room.

Chromatic dragons were all evil aligned, Gem dragons were all neutral aligned, and Metallic dragons were all good aligned. Planar dragons, while true dragons, were another matter and their alignments were to nothing on the scale as their origin points and commitments were beyond the gods of that my former plane’s influence. Lung dragons were a type of Planar dragon in my canon, instead of their own category.

The individual species of those groupings each had a assigned further spot. A Gold Dragon was ALWAYS Lawful Good, whether they are an abhorrent entity or not, and a White Dragon was always Chaotic Evil.

The individual species were as follows(* for ones that are AU to dnd 5e canon but are true to mine):

Chaotic Evil - Red, Black, Yellow, White

Neutral Evil - Brown, Purple*, Gray

Lawful Evil - Blue, Green

Chaotic Neutral - Topaz, Crystal

True Neutral - Amber, Amethyst, Obsidian*, Prismatic

Lawful Neutral - Emerald, Sapphire

Chaotic Good - Copper, Mercury*, Brass

Neutral Good - Silver*, Iron*

Lawful Good - Gold, Bronze, Platinum*, Steel

So I was and am a Silver Dragon. Bahumat created metallic dragons with the intention of combating His sister Tiamat, who created chromatic dragons in turn. The deities of Law and Chaos- neither touched my kind deeply. We could use all magic aligned with the light or neutral powers, and none of the dark. There was little magic that was specifically aligned with order and chaos, but all of that was accessible, provided the spell was not of the shadow. Things that repelled creatures of the light could keep me out.

The more ‘good’ creatures that existed in the world in relation to ‘evil’ ones brought more and less power to Bahumat and Tiamat in their eternal fight. So long as one ‘good’ or ‘evil’ creature existed, neither god could die and they were driven to wipe each other out. The same could be said of the law and chaos deities.

Of my life, the beginning is murky. Once I was grown enough to roam, I first Adventured with a elven rider companion and then lived upon a mountain lair until my death. Towards the middle and latter end, the towns at its base paid me rites and respect for my guardianship. These rites did technically elevate me to a minor god* capable of working greater magic. I also had a village much closer to and in my lair, one where I took those who asked my asylum who perhaps needed greater safety or guidance.

I would defend my territory and would help those who asked. It was a good life, and I hold little to no exotrauma from it.

*not to be confused with Greater gods, which are what effect Alignment or embody big concepts, minor gods are just those who are Believed in by enough people- and thus given power from that collective Belief

The divide between what was and what is is deeper and more shallow that one would expect, all at once.

I’ve started tentatively identifying as a walk-in relatively recently, my selfhood simply showed up one day and the original, whos interests, opinions, demeanor, and identity was different than mine disappeared shortly thereafter. The system has many theories on how exactly this happened, the origins thus such, and how much of the original’s ego was made into me, and also exactly when. The transition was rather seamless and there was much brain weirdness to muddle it all and convince me that I have always been here. None of us know the answer, and it generally doesn’t matter in practice.

The experiences of the original that I inherited gave a large amount of distance to this life. For reference, I Awakened as a Silver Dragon ~2014 perhaps 2015 -time is muddy- or so- having finally put together all the noema and shifts and assorted feelings that were not my cat theriotype into what they were. I had been in the body for a good handful of years previous to that, however. It gives me a distance from that life. My memories and retained selfhood from that life are dull- a botched reincarnation. I remember just enough- I experience just enough bleedover that it upholds a pillar of my identity and I still identify as the being of that life, but not so much I am exactly as-is.

I want to do a little disclaimer- The statement that this definitively IS a past life and I AM a walk in and these ARE memories of a past life is a theory, not fact. I do not and cannot know if my theory is right, and I have a healthy dose of skepticism in regards to this. My experiences could be sourced to many things, however I experience my draconity in a fashion that is similar to how others describe their past life experiences. It fits accounts better than the accounts of people who are not past-life otherkin. It feels right to describe these experiences as such, and so I do. Perhaps one day my understanding of this may change, but for now it is as such.

Returning to the topic at hand; its a point of frustration to me almost to the point of dysphoria, how good and evil, and moral and immoral are used in society here and how. Good and evil denote both the ingroup-outgroup AND the moral standard, equating sinful with strange with harmful behavior. Evil no longer means ‘entity supporting or created by Tiamat’- who is night and shadow. Good no longer means ‘entity supporting or created by Bahumat’- who is day and light.

The congruence of good with helping and evil with harming is far more intense here, Bahumat and Tiamat as I know them hold no power here- as they shouldn’t. Their place was in my old reality and that is as far as those entities reach. The assignment of moral values to enjoyment of a thing or thoughts, rather than actions is wholly new, and honestly quite unpleasant.

Evil here, becomes ‘entity that enjoys harming’ and often ‘anyone I don’t like’

Good here them also becomes ‘entity that enjoys helping’ and often ‘anyone I do like’

There will be people who insist to ignore people that do that last part and claim that it doesn’t matter- that the social realities of how others assign you do not matter, but I disagree.

Being queer, kinky, mentally ill, neurodivergent, disabled, and a strong leftist among other things means people will think me evil for existing quite a bit. Stigmatized minorities are othered, our traits become evil no matter how kind we may be.

Society calls us evil, has designated us evil- alright, how is this a bad thing?

Disassociating Evil from moral allows one to reclaim Evil. Ok, we are Evil now, but oh, no less kind. No less caring. Take the words slung at you and make armor out of them.

And also no matter how kind you may be, by this metric if you enjoy causing pain and destruction, you are evil.

This… is a thoughtcrime thing. No matter how you conduct yourself in life, if you enjoy pain you are evil to society at large. So as above, unlink Evil from Moral, and it is reclaimable.

How people assign you is a material reality you can choose to make hold no power over you. You can make it your own scales.

It is for the reason of words changing meanings, of the fact that my god I was born to does not reach here and thus frees me from obligations, that I no longer identify as Neutral Good. It simply does not mean the same thing anymore and I can now choose my alignment besides. Bahumat was no terrible god to serve or anything, but I would have appreciated the choice if it was not hardwired into my dragon brain at the time to be devoted to such a being.

I take joy in harm and at the same time take joy in helping, I think the absence of care of society is not something I can do, nor do I think rigid obedience is right.

Thus I would consider myself in the alignments of this world today as True Neutral.

Not to mention I have chosen the service of a True Neutral god in Cernunnos, so by my former world’s standards I am True Neutral now as well.

It feels right, to identify as such now. Society considers me evil enough I am too sin-stained to be good, but I have too much love of creation and helping to be wholly evil.

I believe that rules are necessary or we get Situations that cause harm to others, but at the same time am too Anarchist-leaning to not chafe under absolute order.

Still, the... Dissatisfaction with how people use alignments here persists.

#otherkin #fictionkin #alterhuman #nonhumanity #dragonkin #alterhuman stuff #oh no not me writing stuff to procrastinate on writing other stuff #wayward rambling

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timefirewrites · 3 years

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COMIC SANS INTRO

Taglist (ask to be added/removed): @black-lakritz-dragon @marewriteblr @spacetimewraithwrites @emmaschoutenwrites

ID under the cut would’ve prefered to put it here, but the post is already super long, sorry

[ID: thirteen google presentation slides, all written in the font comic sans, black text on a white background.

1. Title: “Gay Space Pirates", subtitle: “thats it thats the story”

2. Title: “What.” Text:

Okay so, everyone is queer

Literally, there’s not a single cishet character in this story

I’m not sorry <3

Most of the cast are non-humans, but the ones that aren’t are super diverse

Transfem muslim gal, intersex nerd with vitiligo, nonbinary overweight dumbass, I’ve got them all

There are also some disabled and mute characters

Oh, also they’re all neurodivergent because I said so

3. Title: “Setting!”, Text:

So, humans discovered aliens are real

and joined their Intergalactic Union

(which is definitely not evil)

That happened about 300 years ago and humans are now vibing all over the galaxy

Sounds great, right?

Well, for most humans, sure, but the ones who had to stay behind on Earth because they couldn’t afford space travel don’t like it as much

The situation on Earth is kind of shitty, and some people want to leave

4. Title: “pLoT??”, Text:

Neb is one of those people

They got an amazing plan to “borrow” a spaceship and never look back

Problem: Neb didn’t account for a robot to suddenly accompany them

The plan kind of fails real bad, but in the end the two escape from Earth

And immediately get picked up by space pirates

Fortunately, they don’t get killed

Because those pirates could really use an extra pair of hands or two, for their biggest mission yet

Which is retrieving a weapon apparently powerful enough to destroy the universe before someone else does

Nobody knows what it actually looks like though

5. Title: “Neb”, Text:

Nonbinary, aro and ace (they/them)

overweight

has idiopathic hypersomnia (basically means they sleep a lot)

also chronic migraines

pretty impulsive and says what they think

has a hard time trusting others

dreamt of going to space for as long as they can remember

On the right side of this slide is a picrew image, showing a person with brown skin, dark brown eyes and black, curly hair. They’re wearing a red bandana as well as a torn yeans jacket and have multiple scars on their skin. The background is the nonbinary flag.

6. Title: “Ahdia”, Text:

Transfem, bigender and pan (she/they)

mute

mechanic of the ship and the only one with a sense for fashion

happy go lucky and just overall fun to be around

pretty laid back, but would absolutely hunt you down if you hurt one of her friends

proud holder of the single brain cell this crew has

On the right side is an image as well, it shows a woman with fairer, but still brownish skin and brown eyes wearing a black hijab and a long-sleeved light blue shirt with clouds on it. The background is the trans flag.

7. Title: “Cap”, Text:

intersex, queer (they/them)

First time they show up, they’re holding a soda and pizza

likes organization in theory

wants to appear like a badass, but is too chaotic for that

needs to wear glasses, but doesn’t bother

Captain of the crew that picks Neb up

certified mess

Again, an image of the right shows a person, this time with dark brown skin and vitiligo, dark brown eyes and long, black dread-locks. They have some silver piercings in their ears and wear a dark purple hoodie. The background is the rainbow flag with the brown stripes on top.

The next three slides feature two columns each, each with an own title.

Title: “Com”, Text:

AI of the ship

shy and nervous mess

wants to visit all kinds of planets

loves taking care of plants

panromantic and ace

uses she/her, but doesn’t really care about gender

spends most of her time watching trashy romance movies

Title: “Coal”, Text:

The robot Neb befriended

Realized they were self-aware not even a day ago and already got anxiety

easily overwhelmed by everything

Has no idea what to do with themself

they/them

someone tells them knitting is a thing and they never do anything else ever again

Title: “Laser”, Text:

genderfluid, uses he/him or she/her

weapon specialist and tired of it

suffers from chronic neurogenic pain

speaks in a very monotone voice

writes poetry, but nobody is allowed to read it

canonically wears crocs

Title: “Lifo”, Text:

gender? no thanks (uses fel/fels pronouns)

tiny, but deadly

lost an arm and half a leg and replaced them with robotic parts (same for fels spine)

usually very loud, but can be completely silent if fel wants

cook of the ship

loves collecting trinkets

Title: “Nova”, Text:

He’s absolutely enormous, huge, colossal and every other synonym for really big you can think of

looks like he can kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll

licensed medic and mom friend of the crew

I lied when I said Ahida is the only one with a brain cell, Nova knows what he’s doing too

loves painting

Title: “Mer”, Text:

Don’t tell anyone I said this, but Mer is my favorite

if the name wasn’t clear enough, his species is aquatic

he’s beauty, he’s grace, he’ll punch you in the face

killed a man and will do so again

don’t cross him, he will get his revenge and you will regret your actions

seems like he has everything under control, but really doesn’t

11. Title: “some of my favorite lines”, Text (in no particular order):

“What’s up with your display?” Their voice sounded more steady now, which was good.

“I do not understand.” Their voice on the other hand just sounded confused.

“Oh, right. You probably can’t see it. You’re currently displaying an error message. Which just reads ‘error’. Not very helpful.”

“Fuck. I didn’t deactivate it.”

“We could just go in and race to the top.”

“What? No. Why would we do that? We can’t afford to get caught, we need to make a plan, Coal.”

“You said you wanted an adventure. Plus, I do not think we could create a plan, seeing as we know next to nothing about its defence and security.”

They said that because of them? They were just rambling earlier, not really thinking about it, just talking to fill the silence.

“Okay. But if anything goes wrong, it’ll be your fault.”

“Uh, I don’t think so? Better not touch it, though.” As Lifo said that, Cap could see fel fighting against the desire to do just that. At least Com would be happy.

Chapter 13 - they did surgery on a grape Neb

“Oh. I’m the ship. Nice to meet you?”

Whatever the hell was going on, they didn’t sign up for this.

“I am fine.” Perfectly fine. Mhm.

Coal nodded, then just stood around?

"You're outnumbered now! Coal agreed to watch Love On A Foreign Planet with me. So, uh, get moving, Fishsticks."

They settled on two things they were pretty sure were edible: a soda labeled “SpacePop: the best soda in the universe” with a “multiple sunsets on Madoras” flavor and some leftover pizza. (They were pretty sure Madoras didn’t exist, they never heard of that planet before. Maybe they shouldn’t drink that soda after all.)

“I’m Laser, my gender is a burning trash can and my pronouns depend entirely on the mercy of the universe.”

12. Title: “Homegrown memes”, this slide is filled with six different memes.

A windows error message, but the title and text is just screaming. The two options are “AAA” or “AAA”. It’s labeled “Coal”.

A photo of two people in wedding clothes. They’re labeled “Laser and Lifo”, in the background is a person falling from the sky, labeled “Com”.

Spiderman (labeled “Mer”) is holding a screen labeled “dealing with a breakup like a normal person”, in the next frame that screen is being thrown away as spiderman looks at a pc being held by someone else labeled as “commiting murder”.

A person is being kicked into a lake by someone else. They’re labeled “Coal trying to figure out what to do now that they’re self-aware”. The person kicking them is labeled “the plot”.

The “is this a pigeon” meme, but the guy is labeled as “Cap”, the butterfly as “wearing a hoodie and truly horrendous shorts” and the caption now says “is this formal dress attire?”.

The last meme is a chart, with five rows and two columns.

Row 1: Regularly says fuck: Coal, Lifo

Row 2: has sworn of saying fuck, but said it at some point: Cap, Neb

Row 3: has not said fuck before, but can if so desired: Laser, Ahdia, Mer

Row 4: has not said fuck before and refuses to say it: Com, Nova

Row 5: legally cannot say fuck: also Coal

13. This slide is an image of Earth as seen from space. Above it white text reads “the End”. /end ID]

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artificialenvy · 3 years

Text

CALLOUT POST

@currynahh / @currynya is a shitty person.

I am making this post because I refuse to let them throw around accusations that I'm a predator.

Reasons I believe they are shitty:

I have ADHD, but I'll try not to derail any points.

After not seeing my spouse since Highschool, they invited them to a discord server. I was brought along and given a "+1" role, as in "This person isn't one of us, just @twiranux 's +1. I wouldn't have had a problem with that if it didn't create and "In group" and "out group" where the people in the ingroup treated the +1 role as "not a friend, just a +1."

They have a room for venting in that server, as a lot of people do. I have seen people typing in there on three occasions and decided not to interrupt them for my own needs, however the time I got to start typing in there and posted a couple of messages to indicate I would be typing, someone else came in and made it about them. I doubt they meant harm by that, but I went to @currynahh and explained it hurt to be silenced like that. I wasn't looking for an apology, I was looking for a solution so other people don't get hurt. My proposed suggestion was a second vent room for if there were 2 people needing it at once on that large a server, it would be helpful, or atleast a rule about interrupting vulnerable people. They dismissed this saying "two rooms wouldn't help because what if there were THREE people" which, if there were three people at the same time one would still have to wait, but the line would be split in half and people would be able to use it if it was an emergency and the first space was already taken without interrupting.

When they dismissed this idea, I said (and I dont have the exact quote as I left the channel, something @currynahh is very particular about is exact phrasing.) "If there's no rule against interrupting I guess next time I'm in need to type and someone is already using the safe space, I'll just be That Dickhead[TM] and interrupt? Can't wait." to which they threatened me with a ban, assuming I meant I was going to actively hurt people instead of just pointing out that there being no rule meant ANYONE could be That Dickhead[TM]

I also pointed out the inconsistency of threatening me with a ban for saying I'd do what the other user actually did and cut someone off. (they never spoke to the person who interrupted me about the event, to my knowledge, and I never spoke to them or saw their name) so I referred to them as "the fucker who interrupted me." Not in a mean way, just.. Here people can be called fuckers, like calling kids brats. I apologized once they said they found that rude, but they kept bringing it up saying I was name calling.

This is Hearsay, but apparently they said the person probably interrupted me because of ADHD, they seem a bit too comfortable deciding what is a factor of someone's else disabilities without consulting them.

Them dismissing my problems and threatening me with a ban instead of trying to fix their server made me actually go to name calling, and I still feel it's fair to call them a heartless cunt. Heartless for pretending to care when really they just wanted to defend someone in the in-group, Cunt cause it's a great word and it fits. I know the word Cunt is seen more harshly in some places, again, so much here. They really take offense to regional and class based dialects. They went to a private school and were calling me mean for just calling a dude I had no name for as "a fucker" when to me, someone who's poor and went to public school in a shitty town in Ontario, it's the norm here.

Since they showed they really didn't care I told them they were fake and left their channel, my spouse chose to follow me which I didnt know about at the time.

They DMed my spouse with another person who hasn't spoken to my spouse or I in 6 years to call me toxic, abusive and a predator. My spouse said they wouldn't have that conversation without me, as its childish and unproductive to just talk behind peoples backs. When @currynahh kicked me out of the group chat, refusing to talk like adults, my spouse asked me to log into their account to participate since they didn't want to be cornered by these two people to talk shit about someone they care about.

They call me toxic and abusive because I vaguely know the passwords to @twiranux 's accounts, despite never logging in unless asked to (for example a daily event in a videogame that they won't be able to make in time but wants the rewards.) and because on one occasion while I was napping, my spouse forgot an agreement we made about watching a specific movie together and I was upset about that, as I'm sure most people would be if their partner agreed to not watch something without them. I tried to keep my cool and just stay out of the way of their enjoyment, but my spouse wanted me to join in atleast for the end so I did, still grumpy but trying to make the best of it. If they had waited an hour or chose a different movie, things would've been different but @currynahh doesn't want "excuses."

They call me a predator because the person I'm married to is 2 years younger than me. @twiranux and I have been together almost 9 years now, we started Long Distance Online Dating just playing minecraft, listening to owl city (our song's Honey and The Bee 🐝,) and making Garry's Mod youtube videos. We would've been about 13 and 15 at the time, though it is worth noting that our birthdays were less than a month away from when we started dating so 14 and 16 if you want to make that distinction, I was in class with people the same age as my spouse. They think the age is gross, but we were two neurodivergent kids who were extremely sheltered at the time (helicopter parents/physical disabilities) who could only have freedom online. We had met through liking the same movies and youtubers and knew eachother a year before, while I was asking for advice on asking someone else out, my now spouse confessed attraction to me and I suggested we try "dating" for a bit, which consisted of nothing new except drawing cute pictures and giving eachother nicknames. I dont know if I knew their age at the time, but I did think they were a boy which didn't change anything, just hopefully shows I wasn't some 30 year old neckbeard hunting for kids on the net, I was just a disabled kid who was caught off guard by a confession of attraction and rolled with it.

@currynahh says they have proof that we weren't innocent in highschool, as (they claim) we asked them to write nsfw fanfic about us, which.. we didn't? My spouse has no idea where thats coming from and neither do I so just a blatant lie. Not that it's anyone's business but my spouse and I didnt meet in person for about 4 years and anything physical took place after we were both legal adults, im not comfortable going into more detail.

After my spouse had me log onto their account to show they weren't going to be cornered by those two, I was allowed back into the group chat to try and figure out why they think im problematic, but @currynahh insists im just making excuses when I've just been saying exactly what im saying here. They say I'm sugarcoating it, I disagree. I dont have the exact words I said about everything, but admitting to calling her a Heartless Cunt isn't something I'd do if i were sugarcoating it as she suggests. This is how it played out they keep trying to shove me into this "abuser" box they framed me in without knowing me.

They would repeatedly spew paragraphs of "points" then block me and leave the group chat while I was typing up a response. They don't want excuses (read: explanations) and they don't care about facts (that they misunderstood certain things and was willing to clear up what I meant if they weren't so caught up on semantics.)

I will not go into my partners mental illnesses on this platform, but they have a psychiatrist who I've met and I have to (sometimes in a way that looks controlling to someone who doesn't know the problems) keep my spouse grounded. The Psychiatrist thought I was doing a great job at managing it, but @currynahh disagrees, saying I'm enabling (without even letting us tell them what the problem is or how im helping.)

Which brings us to the next point; they say I can't talk about the mental health of myself or my spouse because it will trigger them, meaning they block any attempt we make at explaining how it works. They treat us as a neurotypical couple and call it abusive when I'm literally just doing what's deemed best by a psychiatrist for my spouse.

For DARING to tell her to stop calling me a predator, she calls me a narcissist, which is just.. Very cool. Love me some armchair diagnosis. They also diagnosed me with anger issues (from one call in which I was grumpy and then me trying to defend myself from these accusations.) So really, I think docs are being paid too much 'cause @currynahh is doing their job for free.

Because they weren't listening to my spouse, my spouse decided to stop typing, especially since she was just going on long rants then leaving the server before we could reply. Whenever @twiranux gets a chance to speak, @currynahh would leave the server claiming it triggers their anxiety to face the consequences of what they said. Then they would tell me to quit speaking over @twiranux when I was just speaking on our behalf, while in a call with @twiranux due to these reasons.

Instead of keeping their nose out of our relationship like we were asking, they kept trying to tell my spouse (who chose to marry me and lives in another country) that im abusive because they think trusting eachother is a sign of abuse.

Instead of listening that we're fine, they throw a tantrum and tell us to go to marriage counseling (which, although I wouldn't be opposed to going, is very telling that they think people can just do things that require money on a whim.)

They say that "instead of saving up to move in together and have kids you should put money towards marriage counseling" which again, what savings do they think I have? My bank account has -$4.00 in it and my spouse can't work right now. We have nothing.

They keep bringing up kids and how would we raise them? Would they not have privacy? Its a stupid point they threw out there as currently there aren't plans to have kids and there's huuuge difference between a married couple knowing eachothers passwords and not letting your kids have privacy.

They keep bringing up the fact that we've lost friends before without knowing why. So if they want to private message me I'd be happy to tell her about how we left our last friend group after a dispute where the other people were claiming the N word was inoffensive. Or the group that actually was trying to get into my spouses pants and we weren't comfortable there. You keep making accusations then refusing to listen to facts.

Idk if I'm missing anything, if they unblock me and see this they will probably say I'm staw-manning again without actually telling me how and while having no counter arguments. They also don't accept my adhd for accidentally derailing, while using theirs to deflect any criticism.

Karina, you don't know us and you say even talking about our mental health will trigger you, so you need to accept that you're unwilling or unable to understand the dynamics of our relationship but just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it's toxic. I wouldn't have made this post if you didn't keep calling me a predator, but I need to clear that accusation publicly before you keep throwing around dangerous labels.

Grow up. Get some help. Learn that your POV isn't the only one.

#they seemed to have changed their blog to currynya now #If you stop calling me a predator and stopped treating me like an abuser without listening and instead had a proper adult conversation on #discord id be willing to take down this post #but as it sits i have no choice since you keep attacking my character #currynya #currynahh

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zekhromss · 4 years

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i think it’s interesting how we as a Society treat masochism very differently than say, sadism, despite them being nearly the same thing. also this isnt about kinky shit this is about physically doing harm to yourself/others.

and in part, i know it’s because masochism can manifest in any way, youre not always capable of seeing someone being particularly masochistic. but i think we should, because it’s not a mindset thats productive for oneself or...anyone.

when we see someone doing any kind of harm to themselves, the immediate response is never “you need to stop”, even if it’s of equal or greater intensity than the harm someone would perform on someone else in the pursuit of sadism. we think it’s different because this person would know their own limits, would know when enough is enough. and since theyre doing it to themselves, is it our place to tell them to stop?

but since it’s a subconscious response, is the person in question aware of what theyre doing? obviously if you saw someone physically cutting themselves, physically causing mutilation like that, youd tell them to stop, or encourage them to do so. but that’s an action that has direct repercussions; the person in question can see what theyve done and in many cases, regret their decision.

but what about less extreme masochism? what about the little things, like intentionally cutting off circulation because they enjoy the feeling of “sleep limbs”? what about drinking too much caffeine because you enjoy the feeling of your heart racing and the sound of blood in your ears? what about intentionally depriving yourself of sleep, what about intentionally depriving oneself of nourishment (not in excess)?

these things, as theyre not directly causing harm, arent things we ever take seriously. drinking excessive caffeine is seen as harmless fun (we all need caffeine, dont we?), everyone does sleepless nights, everyone has some kind of issue where we skip meals. so is it masochism, or is it simply being human? are all humans predisposed to self-torture? why? is it the rush of adrenaline the body gives us when it’s in danger, is it an abuse of your bodys natural response to pain? are masochists therefore more likely to abuse substances because theyve become dependent on the rush of euphoria that follows temporary inconvenience? this could be true, as we see people who willingly put themselves into extremely stressful situations and workplaces where denying yourself the pleasures of life in pursuit of monetary gain typically fall onto harder drugs, like cocaine or heroin (speaking specifically on office workers, who are encouraged to outdo everyone else for personal gain).

has society encouraged the rise of casual masochism, which then in turn puts more people at risk? have we created a world where there’s no other stimulus, and most people arent willing to become sadistic to get out their need for some kind of pain response? is that why we view these tiny acts of self-harm as admirable or necessary?

human beings are empathetic and kind beings; we have a sense of community and morality which tells us Hurting Others is bad. if you intentionally cause harm to others, youre rightfully shamed from society (excluding CEOs, etc. because theyve long since revoked the title of human imo, also going into propaganda, etc is just gonna bring me off-topic).

but what if we viewed the Self as a separate being? you are unaware of your subconscious mind, you dont know what it wants, you arent aware of what it’s doing. most “borderline” masochistic tendencies (even so far as nail-biting until it causes pain), arent conscious actions. you dont choose to do them; your brain sends an encrypted signal and you just...do it. so then, is masochism a primitive response? do we have control over what we do to ourselves? is sadism, by extension, the same thing? do they choose to want to harm others? why is masochism seen as admirable and level-headed, and sadism seen as a conscious decision? is it just because we know hurting others is morally wrong, and we dont consider ourselves to be counted as an Other to be hurting?

the real answer, obviously, is our impression of empathy. the existence of consent. you shouldnt burn someone else, thats a whole other person who doesnt deserve to be put through what youve decided you want to do to them. you can burn yourself (though you shouldnt), because you have decided that thats...what you want to do.

the reality of the situation is that, comparing masochism to sadism is impossible. sure, they may be rooted in the mind’s desire for pain, but they are fundamentally different, because one is choosing for others and one is choosing for yourself. but they should be considered one and the same in spite of this.

people who are, for lack of a better term, “normal” (rather, neurotypical), would typically never do either. they dont understand why youd want to hurt somebody else, and they dont understand why youd want to hurt yourself. sadistic and masochistic tendencies are likely caused by some form of neurodivergence that separates you from your own subconscious mind. you dont get a rush from normal activities, you need to take out your frustration and feelings of “lack of personhood” to remind yourself youre human, or someone else is human (for masochism and sadism, respectively).

this isnt to say if youre neurodivergent, it’s alright to do either one (because it isnt). it’s also not to say if you are neurodivergent, youre absolutely going to be inclined to take one of the two paths (or both!). i suffer from sado-masochistic tendencies, but the only reason i possess either one is...because i either:

1) decide “i” have done something that requires punishment (violence on “other”)

2) decide “i” have a requirement to be punished (violence on “self”),

and this is determined by “who i am” at the time. it should be noted that since i am still “the same person”, both of these mental decisions could be considered masochistic in nature, regardless of if i feel like i’m doing harm to myself in some cases.

fact of the matter is, we are all prone to masochism. we do not view it as violence (before it gets excessive and physically mutilating in nature), we view it as discipline. we view it as self-help (wrongfully). we dont view it as real harm, because we view it as “they are in control. they know what theyre doing to themselves”.

but i believe we should all consider ourselves as Others. if you wouldnt deprive another human of nourishment, if you wouldnt deprive someone of sleep, if you wouldnt file down someones nails until they bled, if you wouldnt junk someone up on caffeine to see what it does to them, what any of it does to them, you should keep an eye open for you doing it to yourself. because you are still a human, you are still a person, you can have a higher tolerance for pain and still not feel it necessary to provoke that. you have to be aware of what youre truly craving, and replace the pain response with that.

masochism is merely sadism. you are sadistic with yourself. you torture yourself. you knowingly cause yourself stress and pain, and why? because you do not feel as though it has repercussions. but then youre no different from an “actual” sadist who tortures others because they believe it has no repercussions. you have to view yourself as a person, as someone capable of being severely harmed. you have to look on your actions and think “would this traumatize someone”, because then youre traumatizing yourself. nobody even has to do anything; youre triggering a panic response and causing psychological harm. now you cant trust yourself because youd do something so violent and vile. but youve done it to yourself, so who’s to blame? would your brain really make you do something that would cause so much harm? if your brain does it, then is it really that bad if someone else were to do it to you? and then rinse and repeat until youre potentially looking for someone else to do it to you, so you can test your own hypothesis.

in conclusion, masochism and sadism are not held to the same terms on account of the context. but that isnt to say they arent two sides of the same coin; they cannot be rightfully compared, but that does not make them inherently mutually exclusive. by taking advantage of potential neurodivergence, and acknowledging what a “lack of Self” can do to your brain to make you a target of your own latent abusive tendencies, you can take steps to eliminate that response to panic (inclusive of rage, depression, apathy, dissociation, etc.) and instead focus on what you would do if you had to face yourself as a separate person. instead of keeping yourself awake for nights on end because “i havent finished this, im too stressed, i deserve to be harmed because i didnt complete this task”, consider the fact that doing that to yourself will have no differing results than if you tortured a colleague and friend with sleeplessness; it will not work, it will only make them less inclined and capable of performing whatever task they (you) didnt initially complete to provoke that reaction. be kind to yourself.

#personal #long post #hi i just hosted an entire ted talk just really sat down and banged this out huh #amazing #also this is almost...entirely anecdotal this isnt like a professional study and there are no resources except me myself and i #but i had fun questioning myself

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