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holdinbacksecrets · 2 years

Note

i second hannie soccer player bf au lol! <3

nearly there… here’s college jeonghan part 2. part 3 will finally feature ~soccer and get us one step closer to boyfriend >.< part 1

tw: mentions of blood

jeonghan saved you the seat beside him. it’s not something he’s ever done before; you’re usually early enough to slide into it without a second thought, but today is off. it’s easy for him to tell as you trudge into the lecture hall.

you rub your temple as soon as you’re seated, not realizing he removed his bag from the plastic just before you fell into it.

“rough morning?”

“you could say so.”

“does it have anything to do with our midterm paper?”

“is it kicking your ass too?”

“actually, i wrote it two weeks ago. our soccer schedule is complete marbles over the next couple weeks. it was easier to knock it out early.”

“complete marbles?”

“yeah, like bonkers or crazy. i don’t know, my sister says it, rubbed off on me.”

you smile, feeling fondness bloom. he hasn’t seen your smile since last friday when he noticed you in the stands at his game.

your intrigued hum is the only response he receives as the professor’s greeting quiets the room.

moments before class begins, jeonghan taps the edge of your desk, earning your attention swiftly. “let me know if you need a second pair of eyes.”

your laptop comes to life. its light coats your face and captures specks of amber in your eyes. “i thought you’re about to be busier than marbles?”

jeonghan bites his lip, and you realize how terribly you fumbled his words.

“writing a ten page paper and reading yours once it’s finished are two different things. i’ll text you my email.”

“thank you, jeonghan.”

your sleep deprivation serves as a darker cloud than the ones rolling past the window, pouring rain across your campus, darkening the pavement, and challenging the fountain on the north end as water threatens to spill over and flood a flowerbed.

jeonghan wants to say something else, tell you not to bother because he’ll send you a copy of his own notes, but that would be too much for one day— for one class.

he’s still figuring out what exactly is going on here because he knows about your roommate’s crush on seokmin, but is there another reason why you join her at every home game? is it more than friendly support?

he was hoping to see even the slightest glimpse of excitement from you this morning, whether it matched the handful of royal blue bows worn throughout the hall or be a shirt with your school’s name stitched into its cotton. his number on a jersey you can purchase at the bookstore was the best case scenario, but that would be marbles.

your next class is close to jeonghan’s. now that he’s switched to liberal arts, the two of you are seeing far more of each other.

“have you decided on a major yet?”

“not quite. i was thinking about anthropology, but my roommates gave me shit for that, asked what the hell i would do after graduation.”

“really? i didn’t take you as someone who bends so easily.”

“why’s that?”

your fingers wrap around the straps of your backpack, catching a loose thread on a hanging nail you hadn’t noticed in your morning rush.

“you seem so sure of yourself, so autonomous. our university has two hundred majors in the school of liberal arts, so i can’t say anthropology is without a doubt the right choice for you, but you like it. you like your red hair too right?”

“sure.”

“would you dye it back because your roommate said it looked like someone dipped you in gochujang?”

jeonghan’s lips spread into a smile, and you wonder if there’s a rainbow hanging above his head, if the clouds are parting.

“no, i wouldn’t.”

sunbeam.

“exactly.”

you reach the steps of Snow Hall, and jeonghan nods toward the stone building. “this is me.”

“and that’s me,” you reply smoothly, motioning to the hall covered in vines and moss.

“i’ll see you tonight? unless you plan on locking yourself up in your bedroom to write a midterm.”

“are you crazy? those soccer stands are far too tempting.”

“the soccer stands, huh?”

you smile before feeling a sudden pain from your finger, drawing your attention away from jeonghan. specks of blood appear where your nail had been snagged, and you take a step back.

“mhmm, i have a thing for cold metal. i’ll see you tonight.”

you’re moving away too quickly to catch his goodbye. it’s silenced by the resonant conversations of students walking by.

your finger is covered in blood by the time you make it to your seat. without a bandaid in sight, you have no other choice but to suck it away.

surely jeonghan had a bandaid in his backpack. he probably has an entire first aid kit beneath his books, right beside a few spoons, and extra blue bows in case a certain someone in his environmental ethics class ever needs one.

like a precognition, your phone vibrates: the administration office on the second floor has bandaids and lollipops. i’d stay away from the lollipops, though. pretty sure they expired in 1995.

#jeonghan scenarios #jeonghan reactions #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan drabbles #jeonghan blurbs #jeonghan oneshot #jeonghan fic #jeonghan imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen fluff

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fa-headhoncho · 3 years

Text

Fake Boyfriend: Part 3

Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

Prompt: The fake dating plan has some... complications.

Word Count: 1351

Reader: Female

Warning: Americanized. Leading up to drama, if I still to the plan lol. lmk if u want to be tagged

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2

=====

It was the weekend once again and the plan for the was to go to the mall with some of the class. You were very excited since it’s been a while since you left the campus other than the patrols during your internship. Getting up early, showering, and even putting on a cute outfit.

You bounce down the stairs, sending the girls a wave before making a b-line to the kitchen. Katsuki stands at the counter, preparing the plate of food he just cooked. The sound of someone rummaging through the cabinets near catches his attention.

He turns around and nearly drops the pan of eggs onto the floor. You were on your tippy-toes, trying to reach the top shelf… in a dress. He hasn’t seen you in a dress since your elementary school graduation and he was flustered. Yea, he sees you in a skirt every day in class but this was different. The way the garment hugged your curves and accentuated your--

“Can you help me, Suki?” Your sweet voice snaps him out of his daze. He nods, fearing his voice would reveal the effect you had on him. He quickly sets down the pan and makes his way over to you. “Can you grab the Sugar-O’s?”

“Tch.” He shakes his head at you, his mind finally piecing itself back together to scold you. “You are not eating Sugar-O’s for breakfast. You’re going to feel like shit all day if you eat a shitty meal.”

You immediately pout out your bottom lip causing him to let out a sigh. Years of friendship have taught you what you needed to do for the blonde to give you what you want. It was a true talent. “Please, Bubba?” You beg, putting the nail in the coffin.

“No.” He spits out in your face. You let out a scoff, shoulders dropping as he saunters back to the counter to continue his task.

“Well, what am I supposed to eat then?”

He just shakes his head, holding back a chuckle at your child-like actions. “Will you stop whining for ten seconds?” He grumbles out.

“I haven’t eaten since last night, Katsuki, I’m starv--” You cut yourself when he spins back around to look at you. A warmth starts from your toes and climbs up the rest of your body as you see the two plates of food in his hands. “You made me breakfast?”

He rolls his eyes, “No, I made too much food and I know your dumbass would want some.” He simply states but you know it’s a lie. He’s skilled enough in the culinary arts that he knew how much of each ingredient to put in to make the correct portion size for one plate. He specifically made enough to share with you and it made your heart skip a beat.

“Are you going to take it or stand there?” Katsuki gestures to his outstretched hand holding the food.

You give him a grateful smile as you grab it, daring to lean forward and press a quick kiss to his cheek. “Thank you, bubba.” You whisper in his ear before walking away.

Katsuki bites his lip, trying to push down the blush that was fighting to spread across his cheeks. He lifts his head and watches you join the girls at the table, a small feeling of disappointment washes over him since he wanted to enjoy breakfast with his girlfriend.

She’s not my girlfriend. He has to remind himself.

The girls and you chat about the day ahead while eating your breakfast. The group planned a day to the mall and were trying to narrow down which shops they wanted to stop by. Some of the boys were coming along as well but were still sleeping so they weren’t here to discuss.

“I hope Todoroki is going.” Momo absently says, eyes dazed as she drags a finger around the rim of her teacup.

“I’m not sure.” Orchaco looks over to Mina who shrugs in response. “Izuku said that some of the guys are coming and he didn’t mention him--” Momo’s shoulders drop but no one takes notice, “--Is Bakugo coming?”

All eyes turn to you as you happily munch at the delicious pancakes. You have to ask Katsuki for the recipe, they were the best thing you’ve eaten in months. The fork was still hanging out of your mouth when you notice that the girls’ attention was on you.

You quickly gulp down the bite and raise your eyebrows. “Sorry, what was the question?”

Mina lets out a chuckle, “Is Bakugo going to the mall with us?”

A small blush coats your cheeks and you duck your head away from them, hoping that they don’t see it. “Probably not, he’s not much of a social person.”

“Well, I’m sure he’ll come if you mention you’re going.” Mina counters, wiggling her eyebrows up and down. The girls let out various hums of agreements, some even giggling. “He’s seemed to enjoy movie night.”

Your blush spreads from your cheeks to your whole face at the memory. After you dozed off, you woke up the next morning with your head on Katsuki’s chest and him sprawled out under you on the couch.

“Who knew Bakugo had a soft side.” Hagakure coos out, her arms close together showing that she was clasping her invisible hands. “So, are you guys together?”

You don’t trust your voice so you nod. A few of the girls let out excited squeals and move to your side, spewing out questions at ten miles an hour. You hate this kind of attention, especially since it was all coming from a lie.

“I don’t know how it happened really… we kind of just started dating.” You say what comes to mind since you didn’t think about this part of the plan. “And, he’s always had a soft side with me. Nothing has changed between us… he’s still my best friend just with a different title.”

“That’s adorable.” Hagakure gleams. “I never really thought Bakugo would get a girlfriend.” She quietly admits leading some of the other girls to nod too.

You furrow your eyebrows at them, confused about why they say that. Yea, he’s never had any other girlfriend in the past but that is only because he never wanted one. You knew they meant no harm at the comment but there was a fit of slight anger lingering inside you at their words.

“There’s a lot more to Katsuki than just exploding fists. Under all that anger, there’s a soft little teddy bear.” You tell them with a dreamy expression on your face. “He’s just... “ You go to continue but stop yourself since you know Katsuki would kill you if you mentioned any of the vulnerable moments you’ve had with him. You didn’t want to break the trust you had built up with him over the years just to prove something.

You let out a sigh, eyes going back to the plate of food in front of you. “Bakugo has a very complicated personality and once you figure it out, it’s hard not to love him.” You meant it, growing up with him was easy but when you came back from school it was like you had to start over with him.

His aggressive personality developed into what it is now, a defensive wall to block anyone who would get in his way to becoming the number one hero. And you admired that, his passion and determination was beautiful. But once you broke down those walls, you saw the real Bakugo Katsuki. The one who reads romance novels before he goes to bed; the one who still slept with the same teddy bear from his childhood; and the one who is constantly reevaluating what he did so he could improve.

What you didn’t realize is that the said boy could hear the entire conversation from his spot in the kitchen. A small smirk on his face at your confession. A hopeful voice in the back of his head says to maybe make this dating scheme a reality.

_____

fake bf: @yn-dreamlife @yaskna @bakugouswh0r3 @bkgkhaos @addictofsupernatural @littlemaladaptivedaydreamer @thoroughlycaffeinated @riot-race @missyredbean @speedmetalqueen @anime-weeb-bnha

#katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugo katsuki #bakugo katsuko x reader #bakugou x you #bakugou imagine #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugō #mha katsuki #katsukibakugou

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goodtimingz · 4 years

Text

dreaming you would come true

intro. pt1. pt2. pt3. pt4. pt5.

AN: check the intro out^, as usual, if jae ever hunts for fic again i’ll cry. btw stream zombie!!!!!! sorry if it’s boring ;-; i have mundane relationship goals and i want to ask my future bf about psychology so if u study psych hmu lol

tags: studentlife, jae day6, fluff, college!au

: the one where you meet jae in your second year of college and it’s basically love at first sight. just little excerpts of what i think a relationship w jae would be like c:

1.4k words

What can I do? I just like being with you.

Studying Psychology was great, when you were stressed you just pulled out your notes and cried into them. Which is exactly what you felt like doing at that moment, 10pm in the corner of the library. The library was reasonably packed, as it always was during finals. Just a bunch of students trying to cram a semesters worth of knowledge, some successful and others crying in the corner. You weren’t sure which group you fit into, but you were definitely questioning your existence in that moment.

The lanky boy from last week had been meeting you every night since you first met, an unspoken commitment but a consistent one nevertheless. Infact, he should be arriving about… now.

His ruffled hair and tired eyes met yours almost immediately. It had been only a few days but you were smiling at him like he already owned your heart, the smile he sent back making it harder to breathe.

“Yo y/n, what’s with the raccoon eyes, next time I see you are you gonna be in the trash?” No hello, just Jae as usual. You breathed out a sarcastic laugh wondering how he managed to look so casual? His grey hoodie had to be made from a very special material… boyfriend material.

“Ha. Ha, I actually might be though if I drop out and become homeless. Would you still hang out with me if I was a raccoon?” Jae rests his chin in his hands pretending to think it over.

“Well, raccoon’s are cute. I think having a raccoon friend would be pretty fun.”

“Of course your logic is spot on, good to know I have a home if I really do drop out.”

Jae laughs, he wants to reach out and touch your face, brush his hands through your hair and jab you in your sides until you can’t stop laughing. He would do a lot to keep that smile on your face.

The past few days you two had formed a routine without words, it kind of just happened. Bonding over your love for food, deep conversations and jokes, you two hit it off harder than Brian hitting Wonpil’s cup over in Music class. Even though Jae had felt like a total simp at first, going to the library with the sole purpose of meeting you the day after the phone drop, he was pleasantly surprised when you swiped half of your stuff to one side of the desk and waved him over.

Every time you smiled at him, he reminded himself to breathe. He had to be alive if he wanted to take you out, so breathing was important even when you made it so damn hard. He wasn’t super affectionate romantically but boy did he want to be now. You plagued his thoughts, at night he craved the feeling of you in his arms, in the day he wondered what it would be like to walk around with your hand in his. At lunch his thoughts drew back to you. One week had been the best torture ever.

“Jae, what are your thoughts on labels?” You perked up from his side, interrupting his thoughts of you as he pretended to scroll through his Ebook.

“Labels? Like boyfriend and girlfriend?” He asked, turning to face you with a teasing grin.

“Hmm... similar concept!” You couldn’t help but smile in his direction. I mean… if you would be my boyfriend? You had to physically shake the thought out as Jae watched you with amusement in his eyes. “I mean, for my exam we have to discuss labelling in society, how would you label me?”

“I would label you a panda. You’re cute, you’re clumsy and you’re tired.”

“Jae, I am not clumsy, you can’t say that when you literally tripped up the stairs yesterday!” You pointed, laughing at the image. Had Jae called you cute just then? You tried to overlook it. Cute was something people called pets and small things, maybe he just seen you as small.

“How can you forget that you literally dropped your phone 8 times since we’ve met, and we only hang at night time in one place. You have butter fingers!” He had a point but you shot him a childish glare. So your phone had gone through some hard times, but Jae had literally dropped his when you first met so who was the real butter fingers?

“Don’t you think it’s time for a boba run?” Changing the topic was the only way you’d escape, or it’d be a roast about who was clumsier which would end in you both laughing until everyone around you hated your souls.

“Definitely what I needed to hear.”

And just like that you both packed up your stuff and exited the warm building. With Jae things were exciting even when life felt mundane. You’d catch yourself smiling through your day just thinking about him, and the frequency of that happening just kept increasing.

The night was cold, but you refused to shiver. If you did Jae would probably tease you and say, “I ain’t giving you my hood, equal rights!”. You would then shove him and then he’d shove you. Gosh, he was so childish sometimes and yet you loved it. He knew how to act, he carried himself as this chill guy who never let life get to him, but you knew it did. Sometimes you would hear a groan, a sigh, and you knew life just wasn’t going how he wanted it to. Whenever you asked him questions he would think them over thoroughly, even if his initial response was a joke.

An idle thought crossed your mind. “Jae, what time does the boba shop close?” You both glanced as he pulled out his phone, his eyes widening as it read 10:45pm.

“11pm.” 15minutes till closing and a 20 minute walk? You watched as he tucked his phone away, but you did not expect him to grab your wrist and run. This meant you were literally being dragged along with him, and by the time you arrived at the store (receiving weird glances from the owner), you two were laughing your asses off out of sheer adrenaline. It felt good to run in the cold night together and despite you being out of breath, you managed to squeeze in a few chicken running jokes on the way.

“You’re so short it’s like watching a baby pig run.” Jae teased, poking your cheek and heading to the counter to order.

“Sorry we aren’t all lanky giraffes, Jae.”

“Don’t hate the player hate the game Y/n!” Jae held his hands up in defence with the cutest grin. “What game! Life?” You shoved him gently with a smile, leaning around him to pay for your drink. His hand quickly pushed yours away, tapping his card to pay.

“Hey! We’re both broke what are you doing?” You had no idea what he was thinking. Last time you heard he was complaining about having only $3.20 in his account.

Jae simply smiled in an sickly sweet way, shrugging his shoulders and walking to a seat.

He was broke. But he felt rich in soul. Okay, that was extremely cheesy. It’s just the way you laughed while running beside him, it made him feel so alive.

He cared about you now, no take backs!

You planted a tiny seed in his heart and he was watering it everyday, it grew so fast and he knew it would be hard to get out. You sat across from him gazing around at the decorations of the store mindlessly and he couldn’t stop thinking about how he didn’t want to lose the image of you.

Life had been plain, last week he couldn’t even remember. It all felt the same. Study, play, sleep, eat and repeat. Everyday he was one step closer to stepping out of college, and he really tried hard to enjoy the mundane times of his life. But after a whole year of playing catch up with college work and performing, he thoroughly enjoyed the idea of finally having someone to share it with.

“Jae, you should let me dye your hair.” You looked genuinely excited and slightly evil, hands reaching over to touch Jae’s hair. “It’s kind of dead. That definitely means pink next.” Jae feigned annoyance but he won’t admit he leaned into your touch a liiiiittle.

“What in the world is going through your head to think I would trust you with such a special job. My hair is my image!” He could feel the tips of his ears giving away his chill image.

“Do we need to talk Jae? You know you’re more than your hair. You have a great personality too. I can book you in tomorrow at 9pm.” Your teasing made him reach over and scruff up your hair sending you into giggles.

“We get it Y/N, you’re gonna be a crazy psychologist though.” He laughed, hoping he could be there to see the day you graduate.

BRO.

Jae needed a good slap. He’d fallen too hard in such a short time, maybe he was just stressed.

(It definitely wasn’t that.)

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arlocedwards · 4 years

Text

╰ ✧ HARRY STYLES. MUSE NINE. PANSEXUAL ❞ say hello to the s club’s very own ARLO EDWARDS! a TWENTY-FOUR YEAR OLD, CISMALE that goes by HE/HIM pronouns. i heard they were voted BEST SHOULDER TO CRY ON in high school, which says a lot about them because they’re very IDEALISTIC and INTUITIVE, but watch out for their DETACHED and DESTRUCTIVE side as well. i hope they’re ready to take a break from being a MUSICIAN and finally get this summer started! ( kt / 24 / pst / she/her )

hiya! i am kt &+ underneath the read more is some info about my bb, arlo. ** insert clown emoji but make him yee-haw **

trigger warning : death .

NAME: arlo cornelius edwards. GENDER: cismale. PRONOUNS: he, him. AGE: twenty-four ( 24 ). BIRTHDAY: february 14th. ZODIAC: aquarius !! HOMETOWN: kent, england. ORIENTATION: pansexual OCCUPATION: drummer. LANGUAGES SPOKEN: english & french. FACECLAIM: harry styles ~ currently featuring long hair. :’-)

kt’s note: I KNOW THIS IS SO LONG, SO IF YOU DON’T READ IT, I WILL NOT GET OFFENDED.

but, just read this so y’know what you’re getting yourself into when interactions open : death tw: arlo will be joining this summers reunion coming from his parents home, post-funeral, trying to escape boxing up his brothers stuff and wanting to not be pitied. :’-( my boy is going through it, so his typical behavior and personality is gonna be v muted for a while.

ᴀʀʟᴏ'ꜱ ʙᴀᴄᴋɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅ

arlo was born in kent, england. i know what you’re wondering, and yes, he does have an accent. :’-) his family moved to new york when he was five years old because arlo’s father was offered a high level position within his company.

arlo was born into a loving family, him being the middle child. he has two supportive parents, sasha edwards (his mother), & carter edwards (his father). there are two years separating him from both his older brother and younger sister. his older brother ( now deceased ) was named holden edwards, and his little sister is named ivy edwards. his older brother can be imagined as eric matthews from boy meets world ( at the end of the day, they were bffs ) & his little sister is quite literally cher horowitz from clueless mixed w/ a splash of bianca stratford from 10 things i hate about you ( they are polar opposites which makes for a fun dynamic !! )

growing up, arlo enjoyed playing all types of sports - there truly wasn’t anything that he wasn’t really good at, and that’s simply because he’s always been such a competitive individual. he would go home and practice a skill or trick for hours in order to be able to come back the next day and whoop everyone’s asses. he will fight you over board games and make alliances in monopoly to mess w/ you.

his interest in taking up an instrument kicked in when he was seven years old. he and his dad were driving back from a hockey game together late at night, and his dad played him the song moby dick by led zeppelin & he knew it was something that he wanted to pursue bc “john bonham was a genius.” ~ arlo vc. and so his dad gifted him a drum set on his eighth birthday !! :’-) soft. but over the years he was exposed to other instruments and can also play the guitar, piano, and he has a nice set of pipes !! harry styles being his vc as well ~ makes it easy. he really wants to learn the saxophone tho??? don’t get him started - he will go on and on and on.

throughout highschoool ; arlo was a v dedicated student. although he’s a bit reckless and loved to goof off, he was always acing classes and applying himself. he genuinely cares for others, you could’ve seen his ass volunteering at a soup kitchen with his mom on sundays and what not! just soft things.

until now - now anti-soft. hard things. sdgjdjgd okay, so, arlo is A Mess™️. and i say that with so much love in my bones. arlo is the type of friend that is honest, and all about tough love when it’s needed. he doesn’t mind getting into a fight or two if he knows its worth the outcome he’s envisioned. he will tell you when you’re fucking up, and if you’re throwing a punch as a result - catch him leaning into it. this ties in l8r !!

he’s just a bit desperate to feel against following the death of his brother & also post-break up with shanley? ( which give me one hot sec and i’ll go into those v soon ) but overall he just wants to feel like himself again, y’know ?? don’t we all. amen & what not. to break it down, he just feels so intensely that he ends up numbing himself in the aftermath of it all, and he’s sadly willing to put himself into harms way in order to get a bit of that - happiness / pain, it doesn’t matter to him as long as he no longer feels numb. so, if ya see him with some scrapes and stitches ~ MIND YA BUSINESS.

arlo’s lurve life : woo ! okay, welcome back -- let’s get into it. so shanley and arlo dated throughout hs and into their first year of college, for a whopping five years together before they broke up. god if you’ve made it this far, i applaud you...but hmu and let me know your fav color, okay? like and comment below ?? subscribe ?? thx. OKAY BACK TO BUSINESS. in case you’re wondering who broke up with who, gosh so nosy, let me just tell you ‘twas arlo. he did it, we can unfollow his ass now. BUT ~ he didn’t want to ? y’know. he felt like due to the long distance, she was missing out on college experiences and her waiting by the phone for him to call was just sad, and he felt guilty. he wanted her to enjoy her time and felt as if he was weighing her down. although he did try make an effort to fix this doing by visiting her that weekend at her university in chicago, but when he came across her with friends he felt stupid and bailed back to cali again. a couple months later he called her, hoping to apologize for his poor judgement and admit to his mistake of ending the relationship, but she wasn’t the one who answered the phone. arlo assumed the random guy who answered was shanley’s new boyfriend (although , he was shanley’s roommates boyfriend but my sad dumb ass boi didn’t know ). arlo only assumed the voice belonged to shan’s bf bc he swears the voice distinctly said “coming, babe!” ( although he did, just not to shanley) and ever since arlo’s been a bit jaded when it comes to romance. shanley called him back later that day, and arlo shrugged her off bc he was jealous af and drunk - claiming he “butt dialed her and it wouldn’t happen again.” :’-( since then they haven’t been in contact.

he was so in love with shanley, and despite him being the one to end things, he’s never fully gotten over her. he’s definitely hooked up with other people, but my boy is not the committing type after that relationship.

after high school, arlo attended stanford university, as they offer one of the best criminal law programs across the nation. wahoo ! yahtzee !

after graduating college, arlo moved to san francisco & moved in with ali !! they have a nice little place overlooking the golden gate bridge w/ quality acoustics for their creative music projects. / also where he currently lives !! :’-) we love a bromance.

while in san francisco, arlo attended university to continue on pursuing his law degree and after two years was able to graduate with his juris doctor.

TRIGGER WARNING : DEATH / CAR ACCIDENT / DRUNK DRIVING. the death of his brother is very recent, like four weeks ago recent. arlo and his brother were road tripping across the states back to their family home in NY to visit their parents, when a drunk driver struck the driver side of their vehicle, which on impact killed his brother. arlo has survivors guilt as a result from the accident. he and his brother had switched seats a couple minutes prior to the collision, after arlo had asked to switch with him in order to rest for a bit. :’-( miraculously, arlo was unscathed in the greater scheme of all things injury-based. he’s entering the villa w/ a couple broken ribs, broken left arm and scrapes/cuts. so plz sign his cast.

post-break up with shanley, they had some type of unspoken agreement of trading off years of who gets to attend the summer( aka who has custody of the sclub ) and so last year, arlo did not attend. however, this year, they somehow got their info wrong about who was going / not going, so they have found themselves here at the same time. this being the first time they’ve seen each other since holidays during their first year of college previous to their break up. so get ready for some spice.

last summer, since arlo wasn’t attending the sclub reunion, he was taking the california state bar exam. which is only offered twice a year - he opted for the one in july and passed! :’-) he spent some time after the exam in europe with hastrid. <3

however, arlo will be joining this summers reunion coming from his parents home, post-funeral, trying to escape boxing up his brothers stuff and wanting to not be pitied. :’-( my boy is going through it, so his typical behavior and personality is gonna be v muted for a while.

ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ

overall : arlo truly strives to be kind, and genuinely wants for everyone to get along. treat people with kindness and the like. he has the best of intentions, but often times that can get a bit muddled with the way he goes about things due to his chaotic energy. he will do anything to lighten a dark mood, and will sacrifice / throw himself under the bus if its needed. however, he also is the type to cause the dark mood depending on the day.

however rn, with his current state of mind, arlo is just going through the motions. numbing himself with unhealthy outlets and has a different type of mentality. definitely engaging in a bit of the more chaotic activities, as well as leaving everyone alone to their own vices as well. whereas his typical behavior would be more so attempting to lead them onto a better path if it meant well for their overall wellbeing.

habits : smoking cigarettes ( ali likely nags him bc they aren’t herbal ) . staying up into the early hours of the morning, and yet somehow still an early riser ( hence, he drinks an absurd amount of coffee ). yeah, hence. - get it, from the house bunny? sdjfkngdg any who, he’s in a phase of numbing via alcohol and drugs rn.

personality type : INTP - T / THE LOGICIAN

moral alignment : chaotic good

tarot card : the hermit ( currently )

character inspo : connor walsh from how to get away with murder, jess mariano from gilmore girls, & ambrose spellman from chilling adventures of sabrina ( literally his #1 ranked personality match on a quiz i took ) !! so, we have that ! and also a heavy sprinkle of seth cohen from the o.c.

ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ

the album ‘fine line’ by golden child, harry styles in this case will be used as a hc for arlo. arlo wrote and recorded the album - all songs included, with his muse being shanley over the course of the last couple of years. he’s just kind of been sitting on the entire thing, never really feeling it was the right time to release his work/side solo project...but later this summer, he may just leak it. :’-)

arlo is a vegetarian ! he has been since his freshman year of high school.

those who inspire him : roger taylor, mick jagger, alex van halen, john bonham.

LUNA : ali and arlo co-founded the band with friends edie dorn and guy perkins in junior high. playing gigs where they could as often as possible. arlo was on lead vocals, ali as lead guitarist, edie on bass, and guy on drums. although when it came down to recording and what not they seemed to bounce around when it came to other instruments - v experimental. the band took off in college, prior to something strange and over the years they’ve produced numerous albums and have won a couple awards.

red roses are his Thing™️ ; fans of the band will walk up and hand him them. i think that’s soft. and i am here for it.

he loves fancy wine ~ he’s cultured.

fun fact : dirty dancing is v much so a sharlo movie. they used to practice and be able to successfully pull of the jump & lift dance move literally just for fun / bc they wanted to. after nailing the lift, they learned the entire dance - i can't. dfjkgndjkg SOFT.

arlo has all of harry’s tattoos !! makes it simpler, might add more along the way !! stay tuned, folks !!

also the ‘ h & s ‘ rings that will be seen in photographs later on are for his brother, holden, and bbg, shanley </3

arlo is a gucci enthusiast - having much of his closet filled with staple pieces over the years. to further his love for the brand, he was recently asked to be in an upcoming campaign for the fall season - he’s v jazzed about it.

ᴏᴘᴇɴ ᴄᴏɴɴᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴꜱ

𝖌𝖔𝖔𝖉 𝖎𝖓𝖋𝖑𝖚𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊 ( open connection ) : with arlo being a bit chaotic in nature, he needs somebody that is likely going to steer him clear from all the ideas that’ll bring him to the brink of disaster. he’s impulsive and in that desperate attempt to feel again, he’s very likely to bring a bit of mayhem upon himself. so while they may constantly worrying and attempting to talk his ideas down, he’s trying to get them to go along with his plan. it may be rare that he actually takes their advice, but when he does it seems to be for the best.

𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉 / 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖋𝖎𝖉𝖆𝖓𝖙 ( open connection ) : these two know how to have a good time together. despite the amount of alcohol they are throwing back and the shenanigans they find themselves in as a result, this is a time where they also find themselves confiding in one another. if you look at their camera rolls, it’s likely they have tons of embracing and unflattering videos and pics of one another, in between their sob-worthy confessionals and venting/rants. these two trust one another, and although they love getting wreckT together, they find themselves discussing very raw and personal details.

open to other connection you may have in mind! :’-) LMK!!!! <3 i love me some chemistry !!!

ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ᴄᴏɴɴᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ( featured on arlo’s connections page here !! )

𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖘 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖇𝖊𝖓𝖊𝖋𝖎𝖙𝖘 ( taken - simon peralta ) : these two went through rough break ups of their own, and a rebound didn’t sound too bad to either of them at the time things started. it may not occur all the time, but they sometimes still find themselves offering up to one another. this occurred more frequently then any of arlo’s one night stands, obvi, but it never surpassed anything other than the physical aspect of their relationship. the nature of their relationship outside of the bedroom can go either way !!! :’-)

𝖆 𝖇𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖈𝖊 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖆𝖌𝖊𝖘 ( taken - ali mallick ) : as if living together for the past two years wasn’t enough, ali & arlo are also roommates every summer that arlo attends the sclub reunions. these two are always laughing, and saying some ridiculous ish. you’ll likely hear loud jam sessions and howling laughter / the occasional excited shouting back and forth from their room in the late hours. they are truly nothing but a good time and tbh, they know it. that and the fact that they have the best hair in the villa. djfgnjkdfg FIGHT ME !!

𝖍𝖎𝖌𝖍 𝖘𝖈𝖍𝖔𝖔𝖑 𝖘𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖘 ( taken - shanley evans ) : these two began their relationship in their freshman year of high school - spending five years together before breaking up in their freshman year of college. * cries in sharlo * they were the “it” couple, no pennywise included … unless ? anyways, everyone thought that they were going to get married, and arlo was v much in love / thinking shanley was his romantic soulmate. yet when they did break up everyone was shookith - even the birds and the bees.

𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 𝖜𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖗𝖔𝖔𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖘 𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖒𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖘 ( taken - ali mallick , willow finch , sirena rose ) : these four formed something strange. arlo is the drummer of the group, and also writes some songs for the group. they’ve blown up over the years and are a quite successful group.

𝖛 𝖘𝖎𝖇𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌-𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊 𝖗𝖊𝖑𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖍𝖎𝖕 ( taken - sirena rose / willow finch ) : these two have a love/hate relationship, very sibling like filled with pranks, competition, teasing and playful banter. however, when it comes down to it they have so much love and respect for one another. they know that no matter what happens they will always have one anothers back and be supportive of the other. pure relationship.

𝖗𝖎𝖉𝖊 𝖔𝖗 𝖉𝖎𝖊 ( taken - delilah jacobs ) : ride or dies ! need i say more ?? these two have one anothers backs despite anything and everything going on otherwise. they play in to one anothers antics and enjoy one anothers presence as they can likely be seen dragging one another across town and causing a bit of mayhem together. you can catch them in their beautiful, bitch #1 & #2 tee's.

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖈 𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖕𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖔𝖓 ( taken - ramona verdez ) : it would be wrong to say one is the more likely the bad influence over the other, although arlo may just be. these two find themselves bounding into, well hell, ( i guess??? ) together. playing on one anothers impulsiveness and if one ends up in the back of a police car, the other is handcuffed to them. and yet despite the length of their potential injuries, they find themselves thinking of something crazier to subject them to the next time around. with arlo having his law degree, he’s always able to squeeze them out of trouble before it gets too serious, so trust - it’s ok !!

𝖚𝖓𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊𝖑𝖞 𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖘 / 𝖕𝖔𝖑𝖆𝖗 𝖔𝖕𝖕𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖊𝖘 ( taken - izzy de la rosa ) : these two may have ran in the same circle, but were complete opposites when it came down to their personalities / styles / perhaps even humor, so it was expected for them to stand their distance. however despite the odds, they just clicked !! opposites attract and what not, ya dig?? somehow their dynamic just works and they have a lot of fun together by introducing new things to one another.

#( ❛ ᴀʀʟᴏ ᴇᴅᴡᴀʀᴅꜱ | ɪɴᴛʀᴏ . )#so long - whewwww!#if you read all of this.....i owe you all of my love #schq:intro

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likeawildthing · 4 years

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in full transparency, last night i asked for you all to share the things you’re missing and grieving. I thought I could hold a place on this blog for the collective grief we are all feeling, even for one ask session. but it became too much. everyone is properly upset and I apparently don’t have capacity right now to offer words of support to all. And I don’t necessarily think that I need to. It’s okay that this sucks. There is a moment of collective grief we’re all feeling, we are all missing different things. It’s okay not to compare your loss to someone else’s. A loss felt by you is still a loss. We’re all coping, yeah? but i did read all of your responses, and I’m putting them under the cut if anyone wants to read. I hope you do give it a read because it does affirm that we aren’t alone.

love you all <3 <3 <3

anonymous: My bf broke up with me cause he couldn’t handle the distance due to corona... now I grieve what we could’ve been. I miss him so much.

anonymous: grieving the loss of my senior year of college, my cancelled thesis, my graduation, my job, and my application to grad school which is postponed indefinitely while I work out the requirements. Would love suggestions on how to fill the void

anonymous: i'm grieving the loss of my racing season. i didn't think it was as devastating as it would be but losing all the work that my team put in for years to get where we are today and losing the chance to prove ourselves at nationals.... has been just that... devastating. i can say though that this quarantine has brought the team close together and i am finding myself. thank god i have the ability to but i am looking at myself as a person instead of just a student, athlete, etc. and figuring out myself in the process. whether that means hobbies, what to do with my future, or just what fulfills me, i'm learning a lot of things about myself. also the weather was gorgeous out today and i was able to get a walk with my dad in after my workout. beautiful!!! also made banana bread and have a zoom call with my teammates for sunday breakfast tomorrow. (GOOD VIBES!!!)

anonymous: Due to quarantine I can’t see my significant other for an indeterminate amount of time since we’re long distance and I’m an at-risk person. We’re trying to fill the distance with FaceTime calls but it’s still really hard, mostly because we’re just stuck and don’t know for how long :(

anonymous: I used to volunteer at an op shop every sunday with two of my favourite people. The customers sucked, but we played disney and had a blast and would sometimes do dinner or games after it. I miss it so much. To make up for it, we send regular pictures of our pets, do video calls on sundays and play an online pictionary type game to laugh at each other's terrible drawing skills :')

anonymous: In Germany we are allowed to see one other person at a time. I miss meeting more than one friend. As an autistic girl, communication can be hard and it's easier when you are with three people, cause you can just let them talk and no one focuses on you the entire time. You can just listen and not talk for a bit.

anonymous: I'm a costume designer and after a few years of assisting I finally finally got hired as the lead designer for Matilda. Which of course then got cancelled, and may be pulled from the season completly if we can't reopen by June. So I have all of these fabric samples and sketches that hurt my heart to look at but that I can't bear or risk throwing out.

@empiresprincess I’m grieving making music, running a musical, being with young weird enthusiastic youths, and my health. Also seeing my mom or a few my more beloved friends. I’m snuggling my dog, watching my fav youtuber, rewatching comforting media, trying to take care of myself and to let others know when I really need help. Oh and Im working on not judging myself too harshly.

anonymous: i was just finishing my second quarter at ucla when everything got shut down, and like.. it kinda sucks. i busted ass to get accepted to my dream school, pulled all nighter after all nighter at community college and finally transferred to ucla. i was JUST starting to feel like i had a place there. winter quarter was when i made some really good professor friends, started to get into the swing of things, adn that was when i realized i genuinely WANTED to go to grad school in the uk and get a phd and one day teach. then overnight im back home struggling w online classes and it just feels like im back to square one? they haven't cut our tuition costs either, and i feel like im paying so much for a whole experience, which now is just zoom university. ;~; i know its not the end of the world, but its sad and i miss my roommates. still, i guess it could be worse. i feel bad for the seniors who are ending their ucla journey with this. also my boyfriend and i have been doing long distance for nearly a year, and our one-year anniversary is coming up in a few days. i really thought we'd at least be able to spend that together, but he's an international student and he had to go back to india bc of covid. ;~; i miss him a lot and im terrified that the increased distance/time difference will cause us to just fizzle out. its not like we don't love each other a lot, but such limited contact (he can't ft bc his dad doesn't know about us, and so we only call like 3 times a week for 10 mins) makes it hard.. i haven't seen him in almost three months now, and it's just sad, even though i know its not either of us's fault. anywho!! this got really long; sorry about that!! in the grand scheme of things this isn't that bad though, so i'm trying to grieve the losses (and the loss of being back home, oof!) while still keeping an eye out for some of the good things to come. take care linds i hope you're safe and doing better

anonymous: On one level I am literally grieving the loss of a family member to the virus, but on another I am grieving the loss of my usual life (I had to move back in with my parents temporarily after being on my own for 4 years) and my student (our governor just announced that schools are closed for the rest of the year and I feel like I never ever got to say good bye). I've been filling the void by writing fanfic, but even that has been hard as I have no privacy anymore. I keep getting interrupted.

#grief #covid #good vibes 2k20

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prorevenge · 5 years

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After months of putting up with my roommate from hell, I got the revenge of lifetime and screwed her over out of a fuckton of money and got her to pay rent and life has never been sweeter! (This is a long one)

This is a long one but very much worth the ride, so buckle up. (also, English isn't my native lang, sorry if there are any mistakes)

This story takes place a couple of years back. During college, I lived with several roommates, all of them were nice and we got along well, except for this one bitch, let's call her Karen. if Satan and Hitler had a child and that child had a child with Stalin and Cruella de Vil, that would be Karen for you, she is a loud-mouthed stupid, egocentric bitch who has the face that scare the shit out of a toilet. She would never clean up after herself, she would always leave her plates and things at the spot where she last used them. I have lost counts of how many times, I caught her stealing my clothes without asking and if you so much as touch her clothes she loses her shit on you, or her drinking our lactose-intolerant roommates almond milk and any time we confronted her for drinking it, she would shrug and say "I only had a sip, stop being so stingy." She plays her music loud at night, invites stranger without giving any heads up, a time or two she didnt pay rent even though her parents are FILTHY RICH and she is wearing gucci and prada shit, Karen also fucking lies about everything, even things that are not worth lying about. like if she woke up 7, and you ask her, she'll lie through her fucking teeth and say she rose with the sun rise because she is a natural. (ps, this is something i actually heard her say to her parents while she was skypeing them....so cringy, who the fuck says that? but i digress)

Months we have fucking put up with her, of course we tried to get other roommates but unfortunately when we all moved in everything, all documents and contracts were done in her name so kicking her out would require a lot of effort and most of us were busy with school and work and life happens. So we ignore it as much as we can and try to move on.

We are now all seniors and in our final semesters, meaning graduation was coming, AND Karen is planning a backpack trip across Europe with her friends as a graduation gift to herself, this is important so remember this.

One of our roommates and my closest friend, Sasha, has had a crush on a guy that lives down the hall. Any time the two of them are together, Sasha and the Guy keep giving each other googly eyes and blushing faces; it was sooo cute. Sasha is a verbal autistic person and has never dated anyone because she has a hard time with socializing and understanding social ques and subtlety, which lets face it, that is the core of dating, especially flirting but with a lot of encouragement from me and the final roommate, Lola we got her to ask him out. He said yes. She was so happy, you guys, she flew back into the apartment and did an hour of happy dance with her arms flailing about and a shit eatin grin on her face; needless to say we were all so happy. Karen caught wind of this and it just so happens at that time she was having relationship problems, I guess her bf finally realized he's dating human garbage. Not one to be outshined, Karen behind all of our backs went to the guy's place and spun lies about Sasha, saying she is a serial cheater and even made a fake account for Sasha's so called bf. the guy never called Sasha, and eventually weeks passed by he told us why but by then Sasha felt like the damage was done and lost interest in him.

I. WAS. FUCKING. FURIOUS.

This, this level of dickery and bloody pettiness is the straw that finally broke the camel's back and I vowed I wouldn't fucking leave until I served my slice of justice. Here's another character that you must know about, Prof C. His wife two years ago was in a horrible car accident and as a result is in a wheelchair, this is especially problematic because she was a stay home mom that took care of their two special needs kids and they have a toddler at home. Home life is a mess for him, he is running ragged between working and single-handedly is taking care of his family, the uni took pity and also feared the workload would see one of their best and most beloved teachers leave the school struck a deal with him to help him out. In all of his classes there will be quizzes and midterms, this doesnt change, but assignments you submit and he corrects at the end of the year, this is important cuz our uni has zero tolerance on proffs that dont constantly update the students course works so that students have the chance to improve their grades.

Karen, the lazy and stupid bitch she is, is somehow skating through his assignments, even though they require a shit tone of research and writing. I accidentally learned that one of her older friends told her that she only needs submit the paper on its due date and to only write the first 3 pages and use a paraphrase tool for the rest of the paper so the plagiarism software wont detect it and would think its original material and when the end of the year comes, submit a hard copy but with the first pages being her actual work and the rest being completely plagiarized, professional work. Prof C won't know cuz the likelihood a man as busy as him thoroughly checking the work of 120+ students is pretty low. I grinned. A plan was beginning to formulate in my head. Oh, sweet mother of Jesus, she is going down! All semester long I let her do this for all of the 7 papers, one of them which is a term paper that has 20% on it alone, all the while I spied and gathered all of her pass codes, social media, her student ID, everything.

The end of the year came and I compiled all of her assignments, both the original one with the paraphrasing tools she used to circumvent plagiarism and the one she finally handed them in, and I even made photos were there are side-to-side comparison of the assignments. This is a good start but not enough. So, One day chillin at the living room I open a conversation about relationships, Karen is two timing her new boyfriend and is sleeping with some other Person. so, I ask her questions like "don't you feel guilty for cheating?" and "You do realize this is wrong?" and I even paraphrase my words in a way that is vague but also clear, for example I would say "It's not fair, so many people work so hard everyday to be successful and you are here cheating and lying your way to success." Karen, narcissistic as fuck, would respond with snippets of I dont care and how she isnt cheating, she is only having fun and that everyone does it so why not her too. This is too good to be true, even her answers are vague, its like god put his hand on my shoulder, looked me right in the eyes and said, "burry this bitch". and Id be damned if I didnt. As you probably have guessed it by now, I was recording EVERYTHING. The recording plus the photos, and her assignments were more than enough evidence, I sent an anonymous email to the Professor, and i tell the girls so that they can prep for the shit storm thats coming. Three weeks later, results are out. she failed and LOST HER SHIT. She was screamin, crying, wailing, what a sight to see! you best believe, the girls and I were laughing. She tried to talk to the prof, but he was not having it. she cried and begged for a second chance but he said a hard no. So now she has two options: she goes ahead and doesn't graduate with us, and takes on a whole 'nother semester for one measly course or take summer course and cancel her trip to Europe, which mind you she spent a fuckton on, something like 13, 000$ and I know it could have been much cheaper but Princess Karen only wanted the best so yh. The next couple of weeks she spent sleepless nights because she was calling and cancelling all the reservations she made, tryin to get her money back BUT (again, GOD really was out for blood that day) because the cancellation was so close to some her trip most places refused to refund, or some charged her cancellation fees. She only managed to scrap 5.5 K back together, lossin 7.5 K. OUCH!

Its not over, having damning evidence I, with earned gusto, told her she was going to pay all of the bills till we move out, which was in two months, payback for all the times she was late on payment or defaulted and she would from now do her part of the house chores or else Im gonna send it all to the admin and faculty dean and she will fo sho be kicked out and all those uni years will have been for nothing. She hated it, she fucking threw tantrums and cussed me out but my god if she didnt do whats told. she cleaned her stuff, apologized to Sasha for what she did, I forced her to come clean to her BF (dont know the guy but the few times i met him he was super sweet to us and i felt bad for the guy), I watched her actually do the dishes for the first time in like years. IT was fucking amazing and I don't regret it one bit. In fact, anytime I feel sad now as an adult, i kick back my feet and reminiscine and a slow shit eatin grin draws itself upon my face.

tl;dr roommate was super mean, i found out she was cheating on her assignments and so i snitched on her and as a result she had to stay the summer and retake the class again or else she wouldn't graduate.

(source) story by (/u/let-the-write-one-in)

#prorevenge #by /u/let-the-write-one-in #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

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ofchrstians-blog · 6 years

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i told ya’ll i would end up doing this lmao. anyways, once again i’m xan ( she/they ) and this is my non-rushed intro for my disaster son christian! a proper intro of myself is that i’m busy this semester and i hate it so much but you gotta put in the work to get that degree amirite? i’m pretty much a giant ball of stress at the moment, but i know it’ll all work out, but anyways, you guys came for a proper background on christian, so i hope you guys like this version a little better! and it might be long i’m sorry i’m nutty.

christian dempsey avecedo was born to a young and unprepared couple in anchorage, alaska. by the time of his birth, his mom and dad ended their relationship. his father left almost immediately following the breakup, so his mom raised him as a single mother. due to not having a father present at the time of christian’s birth, he ended up receiving his mother’s last name.

i switched the ethnicities of dylan’s parents irl so in this case christian’s mom is of spanish descent instead of his father, which is why his last name is avecedo.

christian’s mom knew that she didn’t want to raise him in anchorage, so she ultimately packed him up along with their minimal possessions when he was eighteen months old; they ended up moving to winsted, ct. his mom attended community college since that was all she could afford being 20 and a single mom, but she also worked two jobs while attending school.

while they had family that lived in connecticut, christian’s mom didn’t want to rely on her family constantly when it came to his care. as a toddler, there were often times where christian would go to class with his mom.

as he got to school age, christian developed an interest in both math and science. as a baby/toddler, his mom noticed that he didn’t like toys that did a lot of singing, but instead the toys that made him think. when he started school, he excelled in those portions of learning, often winning science fairs and participating in school organizations like math club, decathlon, and things of the like.

while he was in elementary school, his mom finally graduated and became a registered nurse. she was able to purchase a modest farmhouse for the two of them and she continues to reside him winsted to this day.

fast forward to high school and christian is pretty the epitome of the best student. he excelled in all of his academics, but of course he did very well in math and science. when it came to choosing colleges, christian had his mind set on MIT, but he still worried about the money even though there are grants and scholarships out there. however, he just knew that it would be a lot of loans he’d have to take out.

christian applied to yale out of the encouragement of his mom; she was always super proud of him in everything he did, so he applied without thinking he’d end up with a full academic scholarship to the school. he ultimately graduated high school as valedictorian with a 4.36 GPA, a 2360 on his SAT based on the old scoring, and a boat load of AP and honors courses.

anyways, now at yale, christian is a double major in mechanical engineering and mathematics with aspirations of getting his masters in aerospace engineering. he’s a graduating senior this year, so he’s in his final stretch of his undergrad and his fifth year since he has double majors.

christian has always had an interest in space and robotics, but his dream job would be working at NASA. he specifically would like to be an aerospace engineer specializing in heat transfer or an electronics engineer w/ telecommunications.

his schedule is pretty jam-packed between honor council, his fraternity ( sigma omega epsilon ) and the lacrosse team. i need to send this change the main because i thought he was gonna be a doctor, but he proved me wrong!

he’s also a TA for a numerical methods class, so that class doubles as his job and fulfilling a major requirement so he’s pretty damn busy since he usually spends his time between the honor council meeting, fraternity meetings, lacrosse practice, and grading papers. he’ll sometimes teach the numerical methods classes on the days the professor is absent, so he’s freaking busy.

christian’s personality is pretty chilled out, even though he’s a major asshole. he’s the type to half listen, to let things go in one ear and out of the ear, and to overall be pretty nonchalant with conversation. he’s that way with everyone he knows ( except for his momma! ), so it’s never an element of him hating you unless he just hates you. if you come across him at parties, he’s the guy who just casually drinks and spends his time mixing and mingling. he doesn’t really go to parties to get drunk, but to relax and unwind.

if he’s really angry, though, i would suggest steering clear. if he’s turning red and his hands are balling into fists, he’s real pissed and it’s the one trait he gets from his dad.

i stopped labeling/announcing my charas’ sexuality a while ago because i felt like i was limiting myself with plots and such, but christian is pansexual as hell so he’s pretty open to everything! he’s the kind of guy who makes lasting relationships based on personalities.

as for plots, i’m open to brainstorm or go based on chemistry, whichever is the most comfortable for you! some specific plots i would love to have are best friends, ex best friends, rivals, academic rivals, enemies, frenemies, flirtationship, ex gf/bf, on and off, toxic fwbs, ex fwbs, current fwbs, hookup, ex hookup, former friends, strictly hookups, squad/clique, good/bad influence, first loves, confidant, and literally anything else!

i’m very sorry for pretty much reposting the same intro, but the last one seemed so rushed to me and like i didn’t give actual detail so here’s me trying again! like i said, i’ll be on for plotting and the like once i’m finished with my homework, so i’ll see you guys then!

#yale:intro #this version is so much better #i'm sorry i'm highkey a perfectionist #i queued this @ 2am that's who i am :(

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kpop-khh-writer-trash · 6 years

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His Voice

**GIF isn’t mine. Credit to the owner.**

anonymous asked: can i request dean and loco recording a new song and hearing their bf sing decide to include him in the song?

A/N: Thank you for your request! I hope this is what you were looking for. This is my first request for someone I don’t personally know so I was beyond nervous. I’m still new to this so I’m sorry if it isn’t good. Please feel free to send me your feedback!

Genre; fluff

Characters; Hyuk (Dean) Hyukwoo (Loco) & Jaemin (made up)

Pairing; Dean and Jaemin

Jaemin had fallen asleep somewhere are eleven pm only to be woken up at three am by Hyukwoo. Knowing that Hyukwoo was working with his boyfriend on a track, he answered. He only called when something was going on with Hyuk.

"Hello?" Jaemin answered, still half asleep.

"Hey, Min, sorry to wake you but is there any way you could come down to the studio? Hyuk is on the verge of a breakdown over this song."Hyukwoo told him honestly.

"Yeah, I'll be there in twenty," Jaemin replied. With a quick "thank you" they both hung up. Hyukwoo new that if anyone could calm Hyuk, it was Jaemin, he had seen it for himself a couple of times.

True to his word, Jaemin walked in twenty minutes later with coffee and food. Something had told him that neither of the boys had eaten much if anything at all the day beforehand. After everyone's bellies were full, the boys turned back to their track, while Jaemin took up residence on the couch. Watching Hyukwoo and Hyuk lay beat after beat only for Hyuk to hate it and delete all of their hard work. He hated seeing his boyfriend in any distress, especially when it came to his music. He felt helpless as he watches Hyuks shoulder slump in defeat accompanied by a long sigh. Knowing there wasn't anything he could do for his love when it came to his music. Looking at the clock, he realizes that it's after one in the afternoon. "They have to be hungry" Jaemin thought to himself.

"Hyuk, baby? I'm going to run to the convenience store and get you guys food. Love you" Jaemin explains, standing up putting his coat on. With a small comforting peck on Hyuk's temple, he's on his way.

"Be careful Minnie. Love you too." Hyuk calls after Jaemin.

"What do you hate about this song?" Hyukwoo asked Hyuk the question that has been playing on his mind since the fourth redo of this track.

"It's not that I hate it. Something is missing, hyung. I'm not sure what but something." Hyuk explained

"Hyuk, everyone's vocals that fit, has been in the booth and still nothing. That like six people." Hyukwoo points out.

"I don't know how to explain, hyung but whatever is missing, I'm going to figure it out." Hyuk replays with a frustrated sigh. Hyukwoo nods his head in response, letting Hyuk know he understands.

Not long after the conversation ends, Jaemin walks through the door with lunch. The three eat in a comfortable silence. When everyone is done eating Jaemin takes it upon himself to clean their mess from lunch and let the boys get back to work.

Deciding to get some school work done, Jaemin puts his earbuds in so he can focus. Getting lost in his assignments, he doesn't realize that he's singing out loud. His boyfriend and Hyukwoo, on the other hand, stop everything they're doing the minute they hear Jaemins voice. Choosing against interrupting Jaemins singing, Hyuk pulls out his phone and records it.

"Hyuk, I believe you just found your missing piece on this track." Hyukwoo states. Studying the raw emotion coming from Jaemins face as he sang.

"I believe you're right, hyung," Hyuk commented as he ended the recording. He knew he had to do everything he could to convince his boyfriend on this track.

"Why don't we take a break? I'll be leaving first." Hyukwoo stated, standing up and walking to the door. With a wave to Jaemin and Hyuk, he was gone.

"Did you guys finish the track?" Jaemin question as he removed his earbuds.

"Not yet. We're taking a break." Hyuk answered, making his way to the couch. Jaemin hummed in response as Hyuk lays down with his head in his boyfriend's lap.

"I found what was missing on the track though," Hyuk explained after a few minutes of silence and Jaemin running his fingers through Hyuk's hair, helping him relax for the first time in days.

"That's good, baby. I'm glad. I've been so worried about you lately. You haven't been eating or sleeping well." Jaemin couldn’t help but expressed his worries.

"I know Minnie. I'm sorry. Everything will be easier when the album is over with." Hyuk reassured him, letting the conversation end.

"Wait, you never said what exactly it was that was missing. What was it?" Jaemin rushed out, getting excited that Hyuk was finally able to figure it out.

"It was you." He answered honestly.

"Me? What do you mean me?" Jaemin asked, completely puzzled about the answer his boyfriend had just given him. With a chuckle, Hyuk began to explain everything from this mornings conversation to the moment he and Hyukwoo heard Jaemins voice. Hyuk needed Jaemin on this song. He just had to figure out how to make that happen. When he was finished explaining everything, he takes the chance to glance at Jaemin, only to be met with the same smile he fell in love with almost two years ago.

"Does that mean that the famous Dean and Loco want me on a song? Why me? There's nothing special about me, baby." Jaemin responds with a smile a mile wide.

"Minnie, of course, we want you on this track! Babe, what are you saying? You're the most special person to me! You're the reason I'm able to function on days like today. Where nothing goes right." Hyuk expressed honestly.

"I'll do it! Hyuk, Baby, we balance each other out. When I stress about exams, homework, bills, and the house, you wrap your arms around my shoulders and bring me back to earth." Jaemin explained with a kiss on Hyuk's forehead.

"You're right, about the balance, I never thought about it like that. Wait! You'll do it?" Hyuk gasps excitedly, finally realizing that the love of his life just agreed to feature on his song.

Jaemin couldn't find his words so just chose to nod and grin wider. Standing up, Hyuk escorts Jaemin to the booth and explains how everything is going to work. Returning to his seat after he had given Jaemin the lyrics and a pep talk. Six takes, and four hours later and they were almost done. Hyukwoo and Hyuk were overjoyed that the song was almost. Jaemin, on the other hand, wasn't sure what he was feeling. He was nervous, scared, and excited all at once. He was mainly scared of disappointing and making his boyfriend and everyone who poured their heart and souls into this album look bad.

It took three weeks after finishing the song for the album to be released. The fans went into a craze when it came out they loved everything about the album, especially the last track, Jaemins song. The fans let the world know just how much they loved it. It was all over everyone's social media accounts. With hundreds of thousands of comments on Hyuks YouTube letting him know just how much they loved the song and Jaemin.

"So now that you know that everyone loves your voice as much as I do, how do you feel, Minnie?" Hyuk asked, wrapping his arms around Jaemin as the leaned against the balcony.

"How'd you know?" Jaemin question with a shy smile.

"Baby, have you forgotten that I know you better than you know yourself?" Hyuk giggled.

"I was just scared of disappointing you guys. Being featured on yours or anyone's song for that matter is a big first for me. I wasn't sure what to expect." Jaemin expressed his thoughts honestly.

"You did amazing babe," Hyuk reassures Jaemin with a kiss on his temple.

Jaemin lets out a small "Thank you" and lets the conversation end. Feeling content with how life was going at the moment, they just stayed in each other's arms as the minutes went on. Jaemin had everything he could ever want and then some. He was in love with his best friend. He was passing all of his classes and graduating soon. He was lucky enough to be a feature on the famous Dean and Loco's album and so much more. What more could a guy want?

"So you want to be on my next album?" Hyuk whispered.

@kpop-scenario-lover @sheisdreamingsheisdreaming @dayeemah Thank you for your encouragement!

#khh #khh scenarios #kwon hyuk #deanfluenza #kwon hyukwoo #loco #fluff #khh fluff #request #khh request

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agape-l0ve · 3 years

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hello i am back lol

I think the last few times I wrote out a blog was when jj was deployed. tumblr was a really helpful tool for me at that time because it allowed me to be completely vulnerable without having to burden anyone else!

I was looking back at my old posts and it’s so interesting to read where I was back then and to see the progression of how much life changes in such short bursts of time! So here’s just an update for my future self -- warning, it’s not very exciting hahaha

So, since jj returned in dec 2018, it’s honestly been great! We saw 2019 and 2020 as a time to catch up on all the lost time we had in the previous years. No more exercises, training, or trips away, life actually went back to normal - which was weird. I look back and think about how we’ve only been in this lifestyle since 2016, but so much can happen within a span of 4-5 years. I’ve finally graduated from CFCC’s OTA program, which was honestly such a blessing because our class was able to complete our requirements before COVID got really bad. Well, I should say most of our class. As of right now, I think only one more person is finishing up their FW II, which is crazy because these days, I find myself thinking about how I was just finishing up HH and transitioning into peds outpatient in FW II exactly one year ago.

I’ll talk a bit about my FW II experiences.. since they were not the greatest lol.

Home health was really interesting. I was honestly DREADING it because 1, I don’t like spending long amounts of time in the car and 2, I hate being in the car with just one other person - especially someone I don’t feel100% comfortable with. Also, I wasn’t too fond of the idea of going to people’s homes either. I think this placement really stretched me and pushed me out of my comfort zone in every aspect. Looking back now, I genuinely enjoyed the experience for what it was! Would I voluntarily do it again? It depends! (which is a step up from a solid no)

Our area covered the extremely rural areas of our surrounding counties and it definitely served as a huge culture shock. But everyone was so sweet and grateful for any help they could get and I will always remember some of the most awesome patients I got to meet. The negative effects of this rotation mostly came from my supervisor. She was an awful human being, but thankfully, she was at least a good OTR. However, that being said, I saw ZERO treatments! Even when I tried to tell my professor, NO ONE LISTENED OR BELIEVED ME. It was extremely frustrating because I had all of these assignments to do and all of them were about mf interventions. Anyways, my OTR was untimely, rude, unapologetic, and lacked empathy out of her ass. I was so ready to be done with her and thankfully, she didn’t ruin HH as an option for me - just wasted my time with her. If someone could win an award for the amount of countless hours they could talk about themselves, it would be her. 9 hours every day, non-stop, talking about herself and how great she is and her bf. omfg JUST GET ME OUT OF THE CAR

FW II was supposed to be really exciting for me. I was done with HH and moving onto what I cared about the most and what I really felt passionate about. Helping children in clinic! It was honestly my dream. It was a multi-disciplinary site with SLP, PT, and OT. Everyone seemed nice and it just so happens that my OTR at this placement was a former Marine and he and I had a lot in common paper. Boy, was I in for it. He turned out to be an extremely narcissistic man who thought the world of only himself. He shit talked EVERYONE behind their backs, but was extremely fake to their face. Him and the front office administrator would gossip every moment they got, like they were 13 year old bullies. He suffered from several TBIs when he was enlisted, so it’s safe to say that his temperament issues and memory loss were definitely a result of those. But the worst part is, he refused to admit it. He would shit talk the boss, the PR manager, the PTs, the clients, and just about everyone in between. And he brought 100% of his personal life into this, which I get if we’re co-workers, that’s fine. But as your student, I don’t need to know about that kind of crap. On top of that, I was his first FW II student... lol of course I was. So he knew nothing about how to help me, guide me, or teach me. Instead of looking at the informational packed my professor handed to him, he puts that in the closet the entire 9 weeks I’m with him and proceeds to continuously throw me under the bus when it came to doing my assignments and treating patients. Mind you, I didn’t get to treat anyone in HH, so this is now my first real opportunity to start treating patients throughout the entirety of my program. Safe to say, I was nervous. But I pulled through and did my best and I forced myself to become really confident really quickly. I was awesome at it and I was honestly very proud of the practitioner I was striving to be. He did help me from time to time and I’d like to believe there were moments where he was genuine and tried his best to help me. But none of those times outweigh the flustercluck that was that clinic. Anyways, I came out pretty salty about the whole thing, but I didn’t let it ruin my passion for helping children, as that is what I aspire to do in the future. I made strides with kids my OTR wasn’t able to connect with for months. And instead of encouraging me and allowing me to fulfill my duty as a student, he re-books them with another therapist and anyone in healthcare knows how that detrimental that process is to their progression and tells me that he’s just trying to be nice and share his case-load with other people. No, you’re purposefully taking them away from me because you can’t stand the thought of someone being better than you at something. His pride and arrogance will forever taint my experience there and I have no intention of going back - which is a true shame because I absolutely fell in love with the kids and some of the other therapists there. Oh well, good riddance to both my HH OTR and my peds OTR.

Luckily through it all, COVID was just beginning and it only delayed my graduation process a few weeks. I was extremely fortunate to be one of the first few in my class to finish up and start studying for my NNCOT exam!

Studying for my exam was a time and a half. I honestly had -0% confidence in myself to pass this test. I knew it was coming, I knew I had to eventually take it.. but time just snuck up on me so quickly and before I realized, it was my time. I studied for about 3 months, graduating in June and taking my exam in Sept. I took a short break immediately following graduation and then read an entire 3,000 page textbook, took over 300 pages of notes, and took practice tests and listened to podcasts/watched youtube videos. It was a lot of information but it was honestly so rewarding to think about how much knowledge I’ve truly gained from these past few years. Fast forward, Sept 23, 2020 was the day I took my test and it was great! A lot less structured of a process than they make it sound and I was able to complete my exam in about 2 hours and passed a few weeks later! I got my license and everything was great!

For whatever reason, during this time, I felt in my heart that it was time to get another dog. This topic kept coming up un-provoked in EVERY single conversation we had with others and it just felt right. Being home now, I was able to spend every day with Teddy, rather than taking him to daycare. Because of the uncertainties of COVID at the time, I didn’t feel comfortable taking him in, nor did I want to drive if I didn’t have to. Teddy became extremely depressed, always sleeping in the closet or between the toilet and wall, which are places he goes only when he’s hurt or sick. I would try to play with him and take him out, but he had lost all motivation to do anything. It hurt my heart that I couldn’t give him what he wanted or what he needed. So, after a lot of thought and research, Chester came into our lives! Teddy’s breeder had JUST had a litter of puppies (on the same day I took my exam!) and I figured it was a good time to raise another puppy, since I have the time and no outstanding commitments right now. We picked him up in Nov, right before Thanksgiving and jj’s brother was in town to help us. It was a looooong day, 5 hours there and 5 hours back. I think we got home around 2am, but since then, my life has just been on hold while I raise Chester.

Teddy was not happy at first. I could tell he was confused and upset that another dog was here. But over time, they have become much closer and share experiences that has helped him become a better brother. Chester is a lot of work lol but he’s brought so much joy to all of us and I love him so much. He’s currently 5 months, losing all his baby teeth, and getting into everything and Teddy has been enjoying the company (in moderation lol).

In regards to our life, we were really hoping to PCS back home summer of 2020, but it didn’t happen. It was pretty disappointing because we’ve been on the east coast the whole time we’ve been active duty. A lot of our friends moved either back to their hometowns or to the west coast and it felt really unjustified that we were stuck here, but even so, we are making the most of it. We would have had to move through COVID and we wouldn’t have gotten Chester, so those are definitely some benefits of staying put. Since we’re here for a bit, we’ve decided to purchase a house! Our friends down the street are selling theirs and we figured it’d be a good financial idea to start allocating our rent into a cheaper mortgage. It has a double yard and it’s a bit newer than our current rental. So we are hoping to move around June! I’m excited, it’s kind of a fresh new start without having to be too big of a move for now.

Mentally, I’ve been fluctuating. I have a lot of self-inflicted guilt from not working at the moment. And yes, I agreed to get Chester and it’s a full-time job to watch him and not have to crate him all day. I want him to enjoy his puppyhood and I want to be here with him as well, so I do cherish these moments that I can have with both him and Teddy. However, I just feel like it’s the right thing to do or it’s what I’m supposed to do. I graduate and then I work! But being here, it’s just not the path for me. Besides, I keep reminding myself that there are no job openings in my immediate area right now anyways. So for now, I’m just spending my days with the pups and working on keeping the house clean, which does bring me a lot of joy. I need to learn to enjoy life and not worry about what I’m not doing. To help myself, I signed up for transcription services again, so hopefully that’ll bring in some money and take up some time. I think it’s the need to feel productive and I haven’t had that in a while. But with COVID, I’m sure that’s a very popular feeling.

I think that’s about it for now, that’s what’s been going with me the past few years! I can’t wait to read this in 2 years and hopefully, I won’t be in the same place lol

byee

#sarah's ramblings

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memorylang · 4 years

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Week in My American Pandemic Life | #44 | September 2020

September felt like a good month to share another slice-of-life blog story (since my last one was pre-pandemic, last December!).

Leading into Sept. 2020, I knew that it’d be the month in which I’d find out whether I was going back to Peace Corps Mongolia in October. If so, I’d need to be ready to repack my belongings and head back overseas. If not, I’d find out for how much longer I’d need to wait.

The longer I’ve been back in the States, the more little activities I’ve picked up. But still, my heart’s with the Peace Corps. I want to go back as soon as I can. With that in mind, though, here’s what I’ve been up to!

Most Every Day

These events encompass my stateside weeks 26 to 30 (being Aug. 28 to Oct. 1). I've been doing mostly ad hoc projects depending on Peace Corps’ timeline. Since my summer weeks, my most recurring roles have focused around two task forces and two boards on which I’ve been serving amid the pandemic. Beyond these, I’ve been focusing on readying for graduate school and seeking a strong spiritual life.

I spent most of September in Reno, so my week-in-the-life stories encompass those periods. My weekends largely blurred with my weekdays, so weeks tended to mesh together. Still, each day had enough recurring events that I’ll start by describing those common threads.

Long Before Dawn

I usually rose between 3 and 5 a.m. I’d basically fling myself out of bed to shut off my alarm so as not to wake my younger brother. Then I’d leave the room and spend my morning in the house’s kitchen/dining area.

From then till 9 a.m., I’d mostly work on language exercises from the classical Latin textbook I've been using with a long-time friend who’s been tutoring me this rich language. Around 9 a.m., we’d hop on our video call. Even on weekends we tended to call. We chatted usually for a couple hours, finishing around 11 a.m. or noon, depending on our start.

Besides Latin daily, I’d a few other activities I’d do usually sometime between about 4 a.m. and 1 p.m. These were for spirit, for fun and a bit of escape.

I’d continued my quarantine habits of reading more Scripture. At the month’s start, I’d pray a rosary and read a Psalm a day. A friend and I had finished reading our daily Proverbs chapters in August, so we’d decided to take on a Psalm a day. Then my other friend and I had concluded our rosaries. So, I’d read a Hebrews chapter with my Psalm a day. After I finished Hebrews, my other Bible study group had begun John. So, by September’s end, I was reading a Psalm and John verses a day. Good times.

Daily App Streaks

Around 8 a.m. I’d get in a power nap to recharge. Usually after 8 I also didn’t tend to receive messages from friends in Mongolia, for that approached their midnight. If I received new messages, those tended to come after 6 p.m., which was their morning.

On the learning side, I’d also keep up my Duolingo streak. I’d surpassed over 150 days, so I figured I might as well keep at it. I mostly used Duolingo to practice Latin and seldom had touched the Spanish and Chinese lessons as much as I used to. Sometimes my daily Duolingo lesson feel like bad medicine, but I remind myself that languages stick best when I rehearse them. Other days feel great!

A bit after my morning nap would be my 9 a.m. Latin tutorial. Either right after it (closer to noon or 1 p.m.) or long before it, such as when I’d wake up or shower, I do my Scripture readings, Duolingo and also Pokémon tasks. I’d never set a specific time for these.

Mostly to break up the hard stuff, I’d keep up Pokémon GO and Pokémon Masters EX streaks. The freemium games offer daily bonuses for simple activities. In terms of self-tending, I remember that humans ought to set aside time each day for play. At least by playing free games, I needn’t spend money. They get me out of the house, too!

Habits of Isolation

When I’m not out of the house, the pandemic surely does weird stuff to me. Free time seems to lead me to check my email inbox, perhaps too often. I think that the habit stems from my ambiverted itch to have social contact after spending hours alone glued to topics. I also just like helping people and brightening their days, given how unevenly the pandemic affects us. More innocuously, I check my Google Calendar too to make sure I don’t miss deadlines. I try not to stress so much…

When I caught myself staring too long at that inbox, I’d go outside an hour or few to a walk around the neighborhood, thank God and weigh whatever might be on my mind. Reno, Nev. had had plenty of smoke from NorCal fires, so I’d definitely keep on my facemask. I loved being outside, but toxic air made me less eager.

Around 3 p.m., I’d get in a second power nap. Though, on some weekdays my youngest brother had his online class at 3. So, I try to nap a little before, so he could have the room to himself.

Our family usually has dinner around 6:45 p.m. or 7. Attendance varies depending on who’s at the house by that day. At minimum would usually be Dad, my tita /TEE-tuh/ (Filipina stepma) and me. At most, there would usually include four more, being my youngest brother, a family friend who's also our tenant, my youngest sister and her boyfriend. Sometimes by brother’s still on campus, the family friend’s at work, and/or my sister and her bf aren’t visiting till the next day.

As a side note, when I’d first started coming up from Vegas to help at the Reno house, Dad had only purchased a dining table with four chairs. Then he’d purchased four more chairs, which most of us had opposed. Once everyone else had come up for their fall semesters, though, we conceded that Dad won.

Weekday Mornings

Mondays through Fridays are my dad’s workdays, so morning routines go a little differently. Regardless, I’d usually still be up early, from that 3 to 5 a.m. range.

Tita would usually come downstairs around 5:15 a.m. to begin fixing breakfast for my father and whoever else was at the house. My stepmom reminds me of my mom in this way, waking early to fix food for everyone. I thought of both of them when reading of the woman in Proverbs 31:15, “She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family [...].” I hope I’ll be a caring parent, too.

Tita had retired some months after marrying my pa, which gave her more free time. If she wasn’t down around 5:15, she’d had asked me to come knock upstairs on the master bedroom door in case she and Dad overslept their alarms. I give her a hand when she needs it. Tita would also fix Papa coffee and unload the dishwasher from the night before. I’d help her reach higher shelves and take things to or from the garage.

And Tita and I would chat a bit. I hadn’t known much about the Philippines geographically. I felt surprised to learn that her home province's language is Bisayan, not Tagalog. She said it’s because she’s from Bohol, in the Central Visayas. We’d chat about Asian culture and our Catholicism, too, like the Bible and prayers. I’d also vent about life sometimes. She is a patient soul.

An Early Breakfast

Often between 5:45 a.m. or 6, my papa would come downstairs and enjoy the breakfast his wife made. Dad would also sometimes ask me to do things or comment on my ‘inability’ to do them. I tried to ignore the comments that I felt were a bit rude, since Dad told me I’m going to meet lots of mean people in life. He means well...

By 6:15 a.m., Dad would take off for work, so he’d kiss his honey goodbye and wish me a good day. Back when I was the only one staying at the house with Dad, I’d carry his bags out to the car; but by September, usually Tita would do this. I appreciated that she’d alleviated some of my burdens. She let me focus more on my own tasks, like language studies.

After Dad left, Tita would return upstairs to sleep. In the afternoon, she’d resume cooking to prepare dinner. I’d often still be in the kitchen/dining room since I usually had my computer and notebooks set up there. The house hasn’t really had many other tables on which to work.

Dad tended to get home around 6:45 p.m., hence our family’s usual mealtime. Whoever was nearby would set the table and summon the others. Afterward, we’d all usually pitch to put away the dishes and table mats while Pa and Tita got ready for their evening walk (or while Dad got distracted watching politics on the news). Tita had us leave food out for the others who’d missed dinner.

And now to share the unique activities of my week’s days!

MONDAYS: Non-Profit + Chinese

Mondays and Tuesdays were my Chinese days. Besides the usual Latin in the morning, I’d have a Chinese call in the evening with a teacher whom I’d met through Discord and reddit. The Chinese woman happened to have more free time through the pandemic, and so she felt happy to work with an eager student like me for free! I’d prep for our calls by reading her textbook and watching tutorial videos she’d taped. She encouraged me to give feedback, too.

Before our half-hour Chinese calls, Monday afternoons were also a bit busier. My siblings and I had our Foundation calls to go over the non-profit we were building to honor our late mother and help others. I usually just told people around me that my calls were to catch up with my sibs, which was also true. Since June, we’d been meeting to incorporate as we built up for our Oct. 8, 2020 launch.

Foundation meetings reminded me of extracurricular boards on which I’d sat during my undergrad and brought to mind my experiences in national public relations and advertising competition courses during my final years in journalism school. I felt like I’d been doing this type of work for years!

My siblings and I later moved our meeting time to Thursday afternoons to better accommodate school and work schedules.

And Mondays weren’t all-work-and-no-play. Usually by Monday nights I could find the new episode of “Crash Course: Linguistics” available on YouTube. I really liked those. Plus on Mondays, I could often find online versions of the newest Japanese “Pokémon Journeys” episodes with English subtitles. I’d gotten back into the show in Mongolia when I’d heard that its lead protagonist finally became Champion. Amazing to see!

TUESDAYS: Chinese + Social Justice in Psychology

Tuesdays continued Monday’s Chinese. At 8 a.m. I hopped onto a call of language learners through the National Security Girl Squad (which welcomes men, too!). We’d discuss current political events and interests in Chinese, which definitely helped my vocab. The group reminds me of folks I’d met while participating in the U.S. Department of State Critical Language Scholarship (CLS) Program 2018. Many involved in our calls had also done CLS!

After the Chinese call finished at 9, I sometimes slipped up a bit swapping back to Latin. But, I figure I just need to toughen up that mental acuity.

At 4 p.m., though later moved to 5 p.m., I’d hop on another Zoom for an entirely different topic. I've been serving on the Social Justice Task Force for Division 36 of the American Psychological Association! We focus on how we can live social justice within the Society for the Psychology of Religion and Spirituality. I’ve learned so much from these scholars, practitioners and doctoral students. They even appointed me Task Force secretary from early October.

Tuesday nights I also get another Pokémon break, in the form of Spotlight Hour in Pokémon GO. Sometimes I jog over to a local park for this. The event lets me catch some rarer Pokémon before dinner, hehe.

WEDNESDAYS: Advocacy + Scripture + Calls

Surprisingly similar to my undergrad years, Wednesdays tended to be my ‘gauntlet’ for the week. Once I got through Wednesdays, I got through the week.

On a couple Wednesdays, I’d gotten scheduled on behalf of the National Peace Corps Association (NPCA) conference calls with Nevada Rep. Horsford’s and Sen. Rosen’s offices. I experienced a bit of stress coordinating these activities as a citizen advocate, but I found the thrill of mobilizing decades of Returned Peace Corps Volunteers rewarding. (I even got to meet one in-person who teaches at the Uni of Nevada, Las Vegas!) Thanks to our efforts, Rep. Horsford opted to co-sponsor some urgent Peace Corps legislation, and I even got to publish an advocacy article in the NPCA’s WorldView magazine!

At Wednesday noons, I’d reconnect with a Christian friend with whom I read a Scripture chapter a day. We’d studied abroad together in Shanghai, China 2017, actually! We’d catch up about life, reflect on our readings and chat about our foci for the week. God, I love fellowship.

On a couple more Wednesdays, I had my virtual meetings with the Honors College at the Uni of Nevada, Reno. Timing tended to place our External Affairs committee and Community Advisory Board meetings on Wednesdays. I also wound up as secretary for the latter! Meanwhile, I served as co-chair of our Alumni Task Force; its meeting fell on a Thursday. For some reason, other calls with friends tended to stack up on Wednesdays, too.

By the night’s end, I was usually pretty tired. But, Pokémon GO had its legendary Raid Hour! So I usually jogged to the park or someplace for another cool Pokémon before it changed. Fun times.

THURSDAYS and FRIDAYS: Recentering

Thursdays and Fridays tended to be similar in terms of functions. Sometimes I’d have web conference events on these mornings. Otherwise, I’d usually sprinkle excess meetings from Wednesdays into Thursday afternoons.

Thursday mornings I’d have a quick check-in call with one of my fellow evacuated Returned Peace Corps Volunteers who was also telling her story. Thursday afternoons became my siblings’ and my family foundation’s new meeting time. First and third Thursday evenings, my Knights of Columbus College Council also prayed rosaries together over Zoom.

Thursday and Friday mornings tended to be better for my Latin since I’d fewer outside stressors. I’d shifted my least urgent business to Friday afternoons. I’d usually get out any last emails Friday before the weekend or queue them for Monday.

SATURDAYS: Wildcards

Saturdays varied. Sometimes they were like Fridays were fewer responsibilities. I did my own things, usually catching up on my Latin or working on personal projects. I saw national and state parks on one weekend!

Saturdays were also the first of Dad’s couple days off. So, he was at the house, too. Sometimes Dad heaped on responsibilities, busying my weekend.

SUNDAYS: Workdays

Sundays were pleasant. At 4 or 5 a.m., the American couple I’d befriended, who still worked in Mongolia, led their weekly Bible study video call with Mongolians. When my alarm successfully woke me up, I’d sign onto Zoom to chat with them about our week’s readings. I’d usually gain new insights, share what’s up in the States, and they’d mention what’s new in Mongolia. Then we’d offer our prayer intentions and sign off within the half-hour.

Dad tended to get up a bit later on Sundays. Our family did a few activities together if he wasn’t out shopping with Tita. Besides fixing together a hardier Sunday brunch, our main activity would be to see the Sunday liturgy on one of the tellies upstairs. We tended to watch Fr. Nathan Mamo and the students from Our Lady of Wisdom Newman Center since that was the parish we’d attended in Reno. Sometimes my sister or I would appear on the videos, too. We’d occasionally help with the readings or psalms since we used to serve at Masses pre-pandemic.

Given the many morning activities, my Latin-tutoring friend and I tended to call off or call short our calls on Sundays.

Sometime after the liturgy, Dad often had me or my siblings come outside to help him with yard work. Dad works on his days off—been his way since before I was born, judging from stories of my older half-brother. I figure it’s from his childhood on the farm or maybe past life as an army officer. Dad works hard.

Well, it’s a busy life, but I’m grateful to have finally been receiving Pandemic Unemployment Assistance. That’s let me stress less while I wait to get back to the Peace Corps. I’m an extremely fortunate soul.

Into October

Toward September’s end, I found out I wouldn’t be returning to Peace Corps Mongolia until Jan. 2021 at the earliest. This led me to prioritize readying my things for my future redeployment. It also gave me the comfort to let teams and friends know I’d be around longer. I felt weird knowing I’ll be in the States this year for such holidays as Hallowe’en, Thanksgiving and Christmas. But, God opens many doors.

By my last week this September, I still really felt ‘abroad.’ I haven’t settled much into the U.S. since returning. I feel more like I’m ‘just visiting.’ I wonder when I’ll feel at home again. I try to keep in mind that home is wherever I feel secure, safe and comfortable, welcomed and belonging in my community and space. Now that I’ve a bedroom again in the Vegas house where I’d spent middle and high school, that could help.

Usually once or twice a week Dad still has a yard task or chore for me to do, but those have been less frequent since fall set in. I think now that there’s more for me to attend to in Vegas, I’ll probably return there from late October. Let me know if you want to chat! Love to hear how people’ve been weathering this pandemic.

As for this blog, more to come! I look forward to writing about diversity, considering both nature and people. Remember to vote, American friends! What a year we’ve had.

You can read more from me here at DanielLang.me :)

#Peace Corps #Mongolia #story StayHome #Nevada #WithMe #Las Vegas #fall #patience #USA #memoryLang #God #Catholic #memoir #memorial #COVID-19 #Coronavirus #Christian #Reno #politics

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prettypreets-blog · 5 years

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The Journey of My College Life

Today, I’m here to reveal the story of my life in college. It’s been four years and ‘twas a hell of a ride tho but worth it.

Let’s start with my freshmen year.

We all know that after high school, life doesn’t end but begins a new chapter by entering a university, it’s like a new world to meet new people. You don’t know whom to trust because some people might be mean and take you for granted or use you for their advantage. On the other hand you’ll also meet the right ones, and when you though you’ll just know that they are the one.

My first day of school was somewhat awkward for I was very shy to enter the room. All of my confidence vanished for I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t ready to face this new world yet. It’s grateful to have my cousin who’ve been very supportive and motivated me to be strong. Finally, i’ve got my guts that I needed and I went straight to the room, sat beside some girls, I barely knew. They started a conversation with me simply by asking my name. As a foreigner, they had difficulty in pronouncing my name. I still don’t get it, what’s so difficult in “Manpreet”? It’s just like saying hey man by adding preet to it. Oh well, let’s skip that part.

Freshmen Night

As you could see, I’ve already made some friends. It was easy for me to have friends because they say I had the sense of humor. Though, I find some of my jokes lame. Let me guess? You guys are looking for me in the picture. It’s not hard to tell who I am because i’m the only one who looks different amongst the four people. But if you’re confused? Let me help you, i’m the girl with the bright smile wearing a black dress with silver studs. Still can’t find me? I’m the girl posing with a peace sign in the second picture.

We enjoyed our freshmen night, since we were the first batch to experience the party in Hotel Le Duc, our college hotel. Though we were not that close , we made that night special, we still shared memories together and it won’t be forgetten. You guys might be thinking who’s that boy beside me in the second picture? To clarify, he’s not my bf nor crush. He won the title of Mr. Freshmen that night. My new friends wanted to click a picture with him. I joined with them because that’s who I am, supportive as usual.

After one month of wearing civilian clothes, finally we were able to feel what it’s like being a business student by wearing our uniform. We got the vibe that day. You could see, that we’re all happy by wearing the proper uniform.

My first year been good to me. No stress, no problems. Just happiness all the way.

I’m blessed to have these two girls who help me survive my first year. Thank you ♥️

On my second year? I started facing some difficulties. My parents planned a sembreak trip to London for me. Due to typhoons in our province, our final exams were postponed. I had no other choice but to leave.

This is me three weeks in London worrying about my ACADS. Happy outside but deep actually I have cobwebs in mind on especially if i could pass my first sem or not.

When I came back, I enrolled immediately , wasting no time to catch-up with my lessons. But I had a major problem, all of my subjects became incomplete because I didn’t take my finals. There were some people who help me through that day and got myself enrolled. After seeing my schedule for second sem, it made me sad because I got seperated from my classmates on one subject. I got into HRM’s class. Worse, I was the only CBE student. I had a crush on a HRM student, who accidentally was also on the same class with me, it made me weak tho. God only knows how I survived my second sem.

I’m halfway to graduation. I’ve always heard that third year is the difficult year to pass. But for me, it was just a roller coaster ride, ended with no problems that couldn’t have a solution to it. Nothing’s impossible, if you are eager enough to claim the title that you are working hard for.

Well my third year, has been great. I’ve learned a lot of new things, made some new friends because I joined some activities during intramurals. I’ve become popular in our college and it made my heart happy. 🥰

The last year of my journey in college. For me, it has been very difficult from 1st sem. You have to face a lot of difficulties, and have to be strong. There is no place for weak people. Always remember that God is with us and he will never forsake us. We will succeed in his will. Amen.

#GraduatingSoon 💛

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saythename17scenarios · 7 years

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fake dating seventeen | joshua/jisoo

- you’re studying in the library of your university with your friends seungcheol and jeonghan and everything’s going well like you’re actually surprised you’re getting work done with these two together and it’s all quiet and peaceful - but then jeonghan opens his mouth - and he says “oh, (name)… so i know this guy who—“ - you’re like “not this again omfg jeonghan SHUT UP I’M PERFECTLY FINE BEING SINGLE.” - seungcheol joins in and he says “come on!!! you’re going to like this guy he’s so your type.” - basically, they’ve been trying to set you up with someone because they don’t want you to be alone once they leave - seungcheol and jeonghan have pretty much been your only friends since entering uni and they’re graduating that semester while you have one more year to go and they don’t want you to be all by yourself ISN’T THAT CUTE - but you’re perfectly fine living the single life and you don’t need a boyfriend but they’re like NOPE WE WANT YOU HAPPY WHILE WE’RE GONE WE WANT SOMEONE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU WHILE WE CAN’T - you end up arguing with them to the point the librarian kicks all of you out because you’re all too loud and well there goes your studying - they keep annoying you but you keeping refusing and they finally give up and you’re like THANK YOU - seungcheol says “fine, you’re paying for dinner then.” and honestly you couldn’t care less because at least you’re not going on a blind date… - …or so you thought. - you get to the restaurant where you were supposed to meet seungcheol and jeonghan but WOW SURPRISE THEY’RE NOT THERE - instead, a person you’ve never met in your life is sitting at the table reserved for “s.coups” seungcheol’s stupid nickname - you’re like I CANNOT BELIEVE I FELL FOR THIS - while you’re internally raging and plotting your friends’ deaths, the boy at the table looks up from the menu and locks eyes with you and your heart skips a beat - he has. the most. gorgeous eyes you’ve ever seen and not going to lie he’s really cute and you’re like oh wow they weren’t kidding when they said he was your type in terms of looks - but then you snap out of your daze because you’re angry at your friends - you sit down and say “alright. seungcheol and jeonghan. sound familiar?” and all he says is “blind date.” and you say “yeah.” - the boy runs his hand through his hair and sighs “i should’ve expected this.” and his hair gets all messy and cute and you’re like don’t do that - you say “i’m REALLY sorry about this.” and he just smiles like “no worries, it’s seungcheol and jeonghan, of course they’d pull something like this.” - you laugh and say “right? i swear, one day i’m going to get back at them.” and the boy laughs “me too” - but then his eyes widen and he looks up at you and says “…hey. i have an idea.” - you look at him like what is it and he says “do you really want to get back at them?” and you ask “what do you mean?” - he says “i MEAN… we PRETEND to date. we trick them into thinking their plan worked and then we break up IN FRONT OF THEM like REAL BAD, that’ll teach them to quit setting us up on blind dates.” - and you just stare at him like… did this angel just say the evillest thing - but you like the plan so you smirk and say “okay, sounds good. let’s do it.” - the boy reaches out his hand and says “i’m joshua, by the way. it’s nice to meet you.” - you shake his hand and say “i’m (name). nice to meet you too, boyfriend.” - you two end up actually having dinner at the restaurant but the whole time you guys are just laughing and talking about how this whole thing is going to go - unknown to you guys, seungcheol and jeonghan are watching your interaction from a distance and they high-five in victory because they think they’ve succeeded - by the end of the night, you and joshua exchange phone numbers and schedules, and you both plan out the entire thing. the breakup is set to be at the end of the semester, so in about four months - when you both go up to pay, you’re reaching for your wallet, but joshua stops you and says “if i’m going to be your pretend boyfriend for the next four months, i should at least act the part well.” and you say “what?? no no, it’s fine, you don’t have to do all this if it’s just pretend.” and he just smiles and pays - actual gentleman joshua hong everyone - you guys ended up staying later than expected at the restaurant, so it’s really dark by the time you guys get out - your dorms are on the same side of campus and yours is a little further, but this is JOSHUA so he walks you all the way there - while walking, you guys decide to tell each other a few things about each other and you find out you guys actually have so much in common??? - you get so into your conversation with joshua that by the time you reach your room, you’re disappointed by how short the walk was - you say “well, this is my room. thanks for walking me back.” and joshua says “it’s no problem. so… since we’re “dating” now and all… do you want to go eat out for lunch tomorrow?” - and you smile and say “sure!! this is perfect actually because i usually eat lunch with seungcheol and jeonghan, so i can invite them along and we could tell them about how we’re “dating” and all.” - joshua laughs and says “i can’t wait to see their reaction by the end of this.” and you just laugh “me too.” - joshua says “well, i’ll be going now. good night and see you tomorrow!!” and you say good night to him as well before entering your room and going to bed - the next day, after your morning classes, joshua texts you “hey! :) i’m right outside your building. seungcheol and jeonghan are here too.” and you’re like omg he used a smiley face he’s so cute LOL - you go outside and see the three of them waiting for you so you run up to them, and they each greet you - seungcheol and jeonghan both have smirks on their faces and when joshua says he’ll be right back, they both go up to you and say “sooo, we heard you guys are dating!!” and you laugh “yeah… i actually had a good time with joshua last night at the restaurant. you guys were right when you said he was my type.” - seungcheol gasps and says “joshua said that too!! i swear you guys are meant to be. jeonghan, we chose well.” - jeonghan pretends to wipe away a tear and says “my baby’s growing up.” - when joshua comes back, you three go to a restaurant near campus just to have a quick lunch together, when seungcheol and jeonghan tell you guys they “have to go hand in an assignment” and you’re like OOOKAY RIGHT - when they leave you turn to joshua and say “you think they’re convinced?” and joshua says “yeah. they are.” - seungcheol and jeonghan actually do believe it at first, but after about three weeks… they start getting a bit suspicious - you and joshua don’t hold hands or kiss or do any of those couple stuff, you guys don’t even HUG - you just tell them you’re shy because your relationship just started but you’re both starting to panic because NO THE PLAN CAN’T BE RUINED WE HAVE TO GET BACK AT THEM - one day, you exit your class to see joshua waiting for you outside the door and he does his cute eye smile when he sees you - he walks up to you and says “i told seungcheol and jeonghan we’re going on a date tomorrow. i was kinda thinking that we do go on one since they’ll probably follow us around to see for themselves… you know…?” and you say “oh, you’re right!! this would definitely convince them!!” - the next day, you find yourself rummaging through your entire closet looking for something cute to wear but you’re like wait - why?? it’s just joshua?? - but then you convince yourself that you’re doing this for seungcheol and jeonghan… like it’s just to make it look like you’re actually trying… right… - you dress up and before leaving your dorm, you take one last look in the mirror to see how you look and then you leave to go meet up with joshua outside the building - you spot him leaning against a tree and his hair is blowing in the wind and his skin looks so dewy under this bright sun - just wow… he looks like a model… - and your heart may or may not have skipped a beat - when joshua spots you, he pushes himself off the tree and he walks over to you, and you quickly compose yourself because you’re pretty sure you were gaping at him - he gives you one of his deadly eye smiles and says “hey!! how are you? you look really nice.” and your ears are burning but you ignore it and answer “oh thanks, i just… threw on anything, you know…” - joshua grins “so, ready for our date?” and you’re like asjhlaks DON’T SAY IT LIKE THAT but he’s like ??? but it is a date ??? - you ask “where are we going??” and he says “well, i was just thinking of spending a simple day in the city… you know, street food, shopping, and other stuff we find on the way?? omg i hope that’s not too boring for you i’m so sorry you probably have to go study and—” - you cut him off by laughing and he just looks at you and says “uhhh, did i say something funny??” and you reply “joshua, our date hasn’t even started and you’re already worrying.” - and he laughs and says “my bad… alright, so are you ready to go?” and you nod your head - you both take the bus to the city and the date… is surprisingly going well??? - joshua takes you to this little family restaurant and the food is so good, you’re like “joshua you have to stop me or i’ll end up ordering the entire menu.” - you expected it to be awkward because… an ENTIRE day with him?? you’re going to run out of things to say - but no. joshua’s so talkative and there’s never been an awkward silence the entire meal - when you both finish, you take out your wallet to pay but joshua tells you it’s fine because of coURSE - “joshua, we aren’t even dating for real, you really don’t have to do this.” - “i invited you out today and you probably have homework to catch up on, this is the least i could do for you.” - you guys walk a little further down the street after leaving the restaurant to see that there’s a street market going on - and while joshua’s looking through a bunch of cute keychains and plushies, you notice two people looking at you from the corner of your eye - you subtly turn in that direction and see two people rush behind a stand of mangoes and you’re like really, seungcheol?? really, jeonghan?? i saw you guys - joshua notices you looking somewhere and he follows your gaze, but instead of focusing on the two heads popping out from behind the stand, he thinks you’re looking at this handsome boy buying street food - and he gets this look in his eyes - he quickly takes your hand in his and when you look up at him in surprise, he smiles and says “don’t pay attention to them, only look at me.” - and you’re surprised of course but you’re also like… come on, snap out of it, he’s just doing this because he saw seungcheol and jeonghan - but for the rest of the date - he doesn’t let go of your hand - you guys spend the day shopping around, and joshua even gets you guys cute matching bracelets - “you’re getting too into this fake dating stuff.” - “but it’s two for one!!!” - at the end of the day, you and joshua take the bus back to get to school and then you realize… you’re still holding hands… - out of embarrassment, you let go and joshua’s like ??? and you say “ohhh, uh, i think they gave up on following us… hahah…” - and joshua’s cheeks turn pink and he’s like right!!! i’m sorry!!! - you guys sit next to each other, and you find yourself slowly dozing off as you both wait for your stop - at some point you black out, but when you open up your eyes again… you realize you’re resting your head on joshua’s shoulder - you stop yourself from jumping up and instead take this opportunity to observe his features and… - he really is good-looking. his cute eye smile, his warm smile, his soft skin… - you close your eyes again because you feel your face getting warm, and two stops later, joshua shakes your shoulders to wake you up - he softly says “(name), wake up, our stop’s next.” and you pretend you just woke up - and you’re like wow his voice too how unfair - when you get off the bus, joshua walks you back to your dorm and you say “how much do you want to bet jeonghan and seungcheol are going to text me the second i step into my room?” - joshua says “i don’t think they will… i think they’ll attack you in person instead.” and you say “what are you talking about, no way will they be able to wait that long.” - then joshua says “alright then, it’s a bet. loser pays for the next date.” and you say “YOU’RE ON.” - you both reach your room, and joshua says good night before leaving. you feel kind of bad since he has to walk an extra few mins to get to his, so right before he’s out of view, you say “joshua.” - he turns around and says “yeah?” and you say “i say this a lot but… you really don’t have to walk me back every time.” and he just smiles and says “it’s fine. i just want to make sure you’re safe.” - when you enter your room, you just smile at his words because how could someone be so kind??? - your roommate says “you’re looking really happy. did something happen??” and you say “what?? no… not at all.” - after changing into your pyjamas and plopping onto bed, you receive a text from seungcheol that says “HOW WAS YOUR DATE” - you win - dates become a regular thing, you and joshua go out every friday night or saturday, and he also picks you up after each one of your classes - holding hands becomes so natural, it’s not even awkward at all when you guys have to in front of jeonghan and seungcheol - this whole fake dating thing is going just as planned - but then something goes wrong - you fall for joshua - this wasn’t supposed to happen - but just one look from him sends your whole world spinning, when you hold hands with him you never want to let go, and just being with him makes you so happy - it makes you sad knowing all this is going to end in not too long - before you now it, you guys only have three weeks left before the breakup - while eating out with him, you say “alright, so what did you tell them?” and joshua says “i said that you’re giving me too much attitude nowadays.” - you say “perfect, i keep telling them that you’re getting so clingy that it’s starting to annoy me. i also said we’ve been fighting lately.” and joshua says “we still have to meet up secretly to plan the huge fight.” and you say “ohhh, you’re right.” - you guys meet up to practice but you realize… that joshua’s WAY too nice - “joshua, you have to talk back to me.” - “but what if i say something that makes you sad????” - “this is pretend I KNOW YOU DON’T MEAN IT.” - it gets so bad to the point that you guys actually have to write a SCRIPT to follow - the day of the breakup is here, and you and joshua are supposed to go out with seungcheol and jeonghan - you decide to meet up in their dorm room, and to make things seem awkward, you both go SEPARATELY - you take a deep breath before entering the room and it takes all your willpower not to laugh when you see joshua looking away from you - you say “hey seungcheol, hey jeonghan.” and they say hi back, but they quickly realize that you didn’t acknowledge joshua - it’s quiet, until seungcheol coughs and says “so… we should probably head to that restaurant now…” - and you say “sure, just make sure i’m not seated next to him.” and joshua says “i didn’t even say anything.” - seungcheol says “hey, guys, don’t ruin the night, let’s just go get some food and—” - you say “i’m ruining the night??? he can’t even look me in the eye. how immature.” and joshua retorts “immature? i’m not the one picking a fight over nothing.” - jeonghan says “woah joshua, that’s not like you at all.” and he says “well, some people can make others change for the worst.” - you say “why don’t you just say my name, we all know you’re talking about me.” and he says “you’re just going to cause trouble if i say it directly.” - seungcheol and jeonghan look at each other, and they start panicking and feeling guilty because they were the ones who got you together - at some point, you just look at them and say “meant to be, huh?” which made them sink into their seats and feel even worse - you and joshua follow the script word for word, and slowly it’s getting harder to control your laughter - until - joshua says “keep going on those blind dates.” - you say “yeah? maybe i will.” - “good for you then. because that’s the only way anyone would want to be with you.” - it’s in the script. those words are in the script… but they hurt - you’ve only ever been on blind dates with the help of seungcheol and jeonghan but without them, would you really be able to find someone? - are you really this… - hard to love? - you must’ve been quiet for some time because joshua says “(name), wait. i didn’t mean that.” - and you decide to end it there - you say “well, i meant every word i said. i was stupid for dating you…” you then turn to seungcheol and jeonghan and say “…almost as stupid as you two for BELIEVING US LOL” - they both say ��what?? what are you talking about??” - you start laughing hysterically and you say “WE WERE PRETENDING TO DATE.” - jeonghan says “WAIT THE WHOLE TIME??” and joshua laughs “the whole time.” - seungcheol screams “I FELT HORRIBLE THESE PAST FEW WEEKS FOR SETTING YOU TWO UP WHEN YOU STARTED “FIGHTING” HOW COULD YOU?!” - and you say “GOOD, THAT WAS THE POINT, I HOPE YOU NEVER LET ME GO ON ONE OF THOSE BLIND DATES AGAIN.” and joshua says “SAME GOES FOR ME.” - seungcheol and jeonghan are the ones to pay for the meal that evening, and afterwards, joshua walks you back to your dorm - before you enter your room, he says “i’m sorry for what i said, it was mean.” and you say “it was part of the script, you have nothing to be sorry for lol.” - he says “just know that… you’re a great person, and you deserve someone as great.” - his words warm your heart and you say “thanks, joshua. you too.” - he smiles and says “well… good night, (name). it was fun.” and you say “it was. good night, joshua.” - the next day, you walk out of your morning class and you feel sad because - joshua’s not there waiting for you - why would he be? - you guys aren’t “dating” anymore… there’s no reason for him to - you tell yourself “it’s just like before we’ve met, everything’s back to normal.” - but you really do start feeling lonely - because joshua isn’t there to pick you up after classes, he isn’t there to walk you back to your dorm room, he doesn’t ask you out on friday nights or saturdays, and after four months of being “together”... - they’re all reduced to a simple “hi, how are you?” when you catch each other around campus - you hate it - seungcheol and jeonghan both notice how much sadder you seem these days, but you just tell them it’s stress from school - but it’s really because you miss joshua - you look down at the matching bracelet you have tied around your wrist and you just think of your first date and how fun it was and how happy you felt - one night, you’re unable to sleep so you decide to make a quick trip to the nearby convenience store - you buy some ramyeon and water for a quick snack, and while the cashier is ringing up your items, someone taps you on the shoulder - you turn around to see joshua and you jump in surprise - you say “joshua?? what are you doing here??” and he holds up a box of cookies and says “just getting a snack... i couldn’t sleep.” - the cashier tells you your total, but joshua places his cookies on the counter and pays for both of your things - he grabs the plastic bag and exits the store before you could say anything about it, and you follow him outside - he takes his snack out of the bag and then hands you your things, but you say “joshua, why did you pay?? how much was it?? let me pay you back.” - he says “no, it’s fine, it didn’t cost a lot anyway.” and you say “you really didn’t need to, i mean… you’re not my “boyfriend” anymore.” - you immediately regret saying that because it creates an awkward silence between you two - until joshua asks in a soft voice - “can i be?” - you notice his face turn red as he continues “can i be your real boyfriend?” - you freeze for a moment because joshua just confessed to you… but when you regain your senses, you get up on your tippy-toes and kiss him right on the lips - the kiss is soft and slow, and if you can kiss him like this every day… why. not. - you both tell seungcheol and jeonghan that you’re official, but they don’t fall for it right away - “nice try. do you guys think we’re THAT dumb???” - you prove it to them by pulling joshua by the collar and kissing him, and that’s when they really both go crazy - joshua goes back to picking you up after classes, and dates are back to being every friday night or saturday - you notice that joshua always wears the matching bracelet you both got at the street market, and it makes you smile because you haven’t taken yours off after the “breakup” either - seungcheol and jeonghan never shut up about succeeding in bringing you two together and they always joke about it - but they’re really just happy that you won’t be alone anymore - “joshua, take care of (name) for us, all right?” - “i will. i promise.”

#seventeen #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #hong jisoo #joshua

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anything-advice-blog · 7 years

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Submission - is it possible to not be lonely? MSC

hi, please keep me anonymous, thank you.

i’m not sure if this blog is relevant to my question, but i have been going through your advice and i feel like you’d be able to help me. :^)

i am 17, unemployed, and currently in driving school. i recently graduated from hs, which is a life accomplishment (not as big as graduating from college but still), but i was homeschooled. so there really wasn’t a celebration. the best high school year i had was my freshman year, which i was not homeschooled yet, but after that a whole buncha things happened. the trauma was so bad that i couldn’t leave my house. after the trauma that occured, i moved to another place to work and i also decided that i wanted to go back to school. so the last 2 years of my highschool i spent homeschooled. the job i took allowed me to really break out of my shell that formed after that traumatic incident, and i made a lot of friends along the way & made new memories. but it wasn’t a job that would last so i decided that i would move to the states after finishing up with my job. i moved with my mom to her best friend’s place with her family and finished highschool within that month. my mom was finally able to get a job, which was the aim. but our living conditions are also shitty bc her best friend… isn’t really a good friend. my mom has also changed a bit. she has become a little bit more bitter and i noticed that her faith in god isn’t as strong. i am not religious myself but i noticed that her faith was what gave her strength and allowed her to be level-headed. but she has adapted to the people here and has become like them. except, she is angry and bitter towards her best friend. i don’t know how to help her get back to faith. so rn i live with about 7 other people. they are toxic to live with. every morning i gotta ask myself, do i act like this or like this to suit the environment? there is constant yelling and abuse, and no support whatsoever. so even if i live with so many people, i feel lonely. they are not what i consider friends. the only good thing about moving here, and something that topples all the cons is that my boyfriend & i were able to close the distance. sorta. i still live about an hour away from him and he works so i see him like twice/three times a week. he is a good man. he and i have been planning our future together when i am able to move out (he just turned 22 so he’s kinda settled) and live with him. but i am so antsy. and i feel like time is so slow when i am not with him. he is the only one i really talk to everyday except for my best friends who live miles away. however, i don’t rely on him 100%. which is why i try to make new friends. i said that i was in driving school with 3 other people. we get along okay, but my anxiety and doubt tells me that i am acting too weird or maybe too excited to meet new people. i want to be able to make new friends without overthinking, but… maybe i am not used to it anymore. the memories of the trauma have been coming back to me too. i thought that i was over it, but for some reason, it came back. i don’t know what to do. i know i need therapy or maybe medication, but i don’t have insurance. i don’t know where i can make new friends, offline & online. i don’t know how i coped with being alone, but for some reason i can’t do that anymore. i think it is added because i strongly want to like the people i am living with, but it’s so hard… do you have any tips, or anything, maybe? i know i said that i don’t rely on my bf 100%, but in truth, he doesn’t know that he is my reason for living. thank you..

💖msc

Hey lovely,

From what you’ve told me, I think you are doing wonderful. You’re doing what you can do make the best of the situation and that’s honestly the best thing anyone can ask from you. I understand that the crowd doesn't necessarily remove the feeling of being alone inside your heart or your head because there’s no connection. Just because you’re sitting next to someone doesn’t mean you feel connected with them and I think that’s the key to not feeling lonely even though you may be alone in the room. It’s that feeling of connection and togetherness in an intangible manner.

What I think may help is for you to try find yourself. Explore the things that you enjoy beyond what you’re already doing. Learn a new language. Take on a new hobby. When you start to connect with yourself, it starts to feel less lonely because no matter where you are and no matter what happens, you’re going always going to be there, you know? So learning to understand yourself, learning to better yourself, learning to expand yourself, those are all things that you can do without other people and while you’re doing it you’ll meet more people and create more connections. It’ll jump start a whole spiderweb of things and before you know it you’re not only discovering new things about yourself but you’re also meeting new people and making new friends whom may be the ones you keep forever.

Have you talked to your mother about the current condition and how she’s changed? It’s hard to not become more bitter and aggressive when you’re surrounded by that kind of energy every day. We learn to adapt to the environment we’re in in order to survive. But I think if you can talk to your mother about possibly moving somewhere else where the environment is better it may give you guys the freedom you need to start getting better. It’ll hard and chances are you’ll be financially unstable for a little bit but if you guys think that it can work, I think it may be a good idea to. It won’t allow you to receive treatment right away but it’ll lessen the stress and triggers in your immediate surrounding that’ll allow you to at least start on some self care techniques.

If this is not possible, perhaps you can try to lessen your time at home. You can take on more jobs, take new classes offered in the community, volunteer your time, etc. Spend it in ways that you enjoy but also keeps you out of the house. Please, if there is physical abuse or sexual abuse towards you or others in the home, contact for help immediately. I know it’s not favourable but put your safety and the safety of those around you first.

Learn to lean on your friends and your boyfriend. Talk to them about your struggles and allow them to comfort you or offer their help. They may not be able to make all your troubles go away but there’s magic in being able to talk to someone honestly and just have someone the better - physically or spiritually. It makes you feel less lonely and it just makes it seem more bearable to do things like live in a harsh environment. My mom said that even though we were poor in Vietnam we were happy because we had each other. Everyone knew each other and everyone leaned on each other to take care of their homes and their children. In America, we’re each to ourselves and it just feels more lonely even though we’re constantly surrounded by people. So lean on them. Talk to them. They may not be therapists or doctors, but they can offer you some healing as well.

Finally, I would suggest that you look into your community. Free counselling is often offered at the local healthy department or a lot of times local universities will offer it. Some graduate students will need the hours and a lot of times they’ll allow them to take on patients from the community. I don’t know about the place you’re living in but it’s worth a shot. There are also low cost counselling as well if you look around. It may not be affordable enough for you to see them once a week but if you can gather some funds to afford one session a month, I think that can also be helpful. Depending on your condition, a lot of times primary care doctors can prescribe medicine for as well. Anxiety typically don’t require extensive screening if you can talk to your doctor, they can prescribe some anti-anxiety medications to help.

Look into various relaxation techniques as well. Yoga, swimming, exercising, meditating, etc. Whatever helps calm you, look into that. Relieving your daily stress is the first step to self care and it can also be a healthier outlet for when you feel triggered as opposed to harming yourself.

Keep doing your best, okay? You’re doing wonderful so far and I admire the fact that you’re fighting to make the best out of the worst. So please, don’t give up.

Always by your side,

Kelly

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suckitsurveys · 7 years

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Lot’s of long answers in this one sorry not sorry.

1. Do you like zombie movies? Nah, I’m not into the whole zombie thing. <--Same. I do like Zombieland though.

2. What’s the grossest/worst thing you’ve ever seen in a public restroom? Used condoms.

3. What’s the most wasteful thing you regularly do? I use a lot of paper towels.

4. What’s the most difficult apology you’ve ever had to give? I’m not sure.

5. What’s the worst relationship advice you’ve ever seen? I HATE the whole “fighting is healthy” mentality. Yes, bickering is fine, but if you’re fighting all the time, that is not a healthy relationship AT ALL. If your partner is screaming and yelling you on a regular basis, that is borderline emotional abuse.

6. Have you ever volunteered in a hospital? If not, would you ever want to? I haven’t. And definitely not, I hate hospitals.

7. What was your worst Halloween costume? All of my costumes have been pretty awesome. I was Lucy from Lucy, Daughter of the Devil one year and no one got it, but I still had fun with it.

8. Who has/had the worst reputation in your graduating class? Eh.

9. When was the first time you can remember feeling mature? I’ll let you know when that happens.

10. Have you ever had a disappointing Christmas, or any disappointing holiday if you don’t celebrate Christmas? Yeah. It’s kinda hard to talk about, but about 7 years ago my mother accidentally took her meds twice in the morning and she was completely out of it while opening presents. I got her a really nice chalkboard that she had wanted and she opened it and literally looked at it, said nothing, and put it down to open the next present, pretty much repeating what she did with mine. And when she did say stuff she was very incoherent. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to watch.

11. Do you have any character bandaids in your house right now, or just plain ones? There are some Batman ones that were mine at my dad’s still.

12. Have you ever had to give a pet away? Yes. My ex gave me a kitten like 2 weeks before we broke up. The cat was also born to a wild cat that his friends fed but didn’t house, so the cat was, well, wild. He would scratch and bite me in my sleep and probably had worms. And I was too depressed after being dumped to deal with the kitten and I felt SO horrible but I had to give him to a shelter. I really hope that kitty has a good home now.

13. What’s the junkiest junk food you’ve ever eaten? Oh man, I don’t know. Probably like loaded cheese fries or something. Or a fried Oreo.

14. Did you play pretend a lot as a child? Were there any recurring plots or themes? Yeah, I pretended a lotttttt. One of the biggest things I did was make cars in my dining room by setting up our chairs. I’d pretend to go on road trips with my dolls.

15. How do you feel about runny egg yolks? I’m not a huge fan but I don’t mind them. I’d rather them be firm.

16. Has a teacher ever tried to teach you something that was undeniably wrong? Yeah, my 7th grade math teacher was a JOKE.

17. If for some reason you had to give up one of your hobbies, which would you choose? Maybe Facebook?

18. Have you ever hidden a relationship from your family? I’ve definitely been in some online ones that I didn’t tell them about.

19. How much do you know about first aid? Not very much oops.

20. Which of your relatives do you know the least about? Hmm. Good question. The magic of Facebook has changed this dynamic recently. I used to not know anything about some of my second cousins but I have a lot of them on FB now, so I know at least a little about them. Maybe some of the family I have in TN?

21. Have you ever meditated? If so, did it do anything for you? Yeah. It was nice I guess? I supposed I do my own forms of meditating now, like relaxing in the tub or enjoying being outside.

22. Have you ever given advice to someone who was much older than you? Yeah.

23. Have you ever used a view-master? Yeah!

24. Do you ever listen to talk radio or podcasts? If you do, what are some of your favorite shows? Sometimes I’ll listen to NPR, and my favorite segments on that station are Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me and This American Life.

25. When was the last time you got ice cream from a truck? Oh it’s been a while. I’m hoping I can catch one this summer with my niece because she’d love that. We’ve gotten ice cream from one of those bicycle cooler things before and she thought it was so neat.

26. Are any of your favorite bands broken up or on hiatus right now? I don’t pay attention to that, haha. I do know Die Antwoord is going to break up at the end of the year or already did or something. Like I said, I have no idea about those things.

27. Do you know any sex workers? If so, how do they feel about their job? I did. She seemed to enjoy it.

28. What’s the biggest art project you’ve ever attempted? How did it go? Hmm. I can’t think of anything. Maybe my architecture final? That I did pass.

29. What kind of wild animals do you see most frequently where you live? Squirrels, birds, bunnies, raccoons, and unfortunately skunks.

30. Have you ever cooked anything other than s’mores over a fire? Yeah, we’ve cooked potatoes and corn in a fire before. And also hot dogs. Oh and beans one time too.

31. Are there any items in your house that you use for something other than its intended purpose? Hmm. Mark’s night stand is currently a storage box.

32. What do you hope the afterlife is like? I don’t know if I believe in that or not.

33. What’s the worst behavior you’ve ever seen from a child? One of the kids at the daycare my sister owns used to communicate displeasure well into his toddler years by SCREAMING and refusing to move. Like would stiffen up and just scream. He was a terror and my sister could not get him adjusted no matter what she tried, and the parents didn’t want to listen either.

34. Have you ever planned an act of revenge? Maybe little things as a kid. Like one time I was hanging out with my sister when I was about 9 or 10 and she was 18 ish, and then all of a sudden her boyfriend came over and they deserted me. They ordered Chinese food for just them and while they were upstairs, I poured an insane amount of garlic powder in it. But the joke ended up being on me because my sister then offered the leftovers to me. Haha.

35. Do you and your parents share any of the same hobbies? I mean, we enjoy doing things together, definitely. My dad and I go to Cubs games and watch movies and go out to eat together a lot. He also likes going on trips and so do I. But he’s definitely a lot more interested in music than I am. And golfing. When my mom was alive we enjoyed shopping together, and she liked trips and movies as well. She also collected antiques, which isn’t something I’m super interested in, but I do appreciate them.

36. Do you think it’s more exciting or scary to get older? Both.

37. How was the reception of the last wedding you attended? My sister’s wedding was basically one big reception in my dad’s backyard. It was SUPER laid back; there was a small ceremony and then afterwords we had a taco bar and my sister grilled the steak herself in her wedding dress. I loved that part haha. We also had my dad’s friend’s band play and my dad also got up and played a few songs on his guitar as well. Everyone just danced and laughed and had a really great time. It was really fun, despite who she was marrying, haha.

38. Do you have any physical photo albums? There are a TON at my dad’s house.

39. Would you feel comfortable working at a sex shop? Eh.

40. Who was the worst friend you ever had? Aside from lil pre-teen jackasses in middle school, my ex friend Jessica. She was SO into herself she never asked me how I was doing and she thought she was a really good signer and definitely wasn’t. She also pulled some bullshit when my ex and his best friend tried to break Mark and I up early in our relationship. Long story short, when I told her what happened she was like “I’m not going to take sides” (my ex’s best friend was her bf’s brother). UM that situation was definitely something you should take sides in, especially when it happened to your supposed best friend. I stopped talking to her that day.

41. What’s the biggest sacrifice you’ve ever made? Staying at home longer than I wanted to. I did it so my dad wouldn’t be lonely. I was on track to moving out when my mother passed away and then I felt like I needed to/wanted to stay with him and it ended up being a few more years before I moved out on my own (with Mark).

42. Have you ever campaigned for a political candidate, or otherwise played an active roll in an election? Eh.

43. What’s the coolest hand-me-down you’ve ever gotten? What about the best one you’ve ever given? Oh man I cannot think right now. I’m sure there have been a few things I’ve given my niece. The only thing I can think of right now is my Barbie collection, even though they are still at my dads and she only plays with them there. They will eventually become hers fully though. OH! The coolest hand-me-down I ever got was my sister’s old room in our parent’s home when she moved out. It was painted blue top to bottom and had a KILLER walk in closet.

44. Do your parents and grandparents get along with each other? My dad’s mother is my only living grandparent and they bicker A LOT. I think he might harbor some of the same resentment I do against her for treating my mother so horrible when she was alive. And that he’s on his way to retirement but now has to take care of her. And now on his own since I moved out, which I feel super guilty about but that’s a story for another day. This survey is over and I need to sleep.

#surveys

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hisalpha17-blog · 7 years

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Growing up

When I was growing up I didn't have it as easy as the world thought I did. I am able to bury emotions and smile in your face while I am dying on the inside. I never had someone that was there through everything and stuck by my side that helped me through the years. Everyone I ever got close to always seemed to pass to the next life. At 1 years old I lost my grandmother. And I know I was so young i probably don't remember it or her and you'd be correct. I don't remember her at all but that with everything else just makes it worse. After my grandmother died he youngest daughter my aunt came to live with us. She ran away to get away from my mom when I was 6. At 6 years old I started taking care of my 2 younger brothers. I made sure their homework was done, that they are and got baths, that they got to school on time and anything else they needed me to do. It was all on me at such a young age. I still remember having to climb onto the counter so I could reach to make dinner then to clean up the kitchen. If everything wasn't done I would get into trouble with my mom. I either got beat, grounded, or even worse.... both. I tried making sure everything got done and that I kept my grades up so on the weekends I could go to my other grandmother's house. I would feel so guilty because I don't know who took care of my brothers while I was gone but I need down time to just care about myself. She was my rock and when she found out what was happening she called cps on my mom. When my mom confronted her she admitted it and I lost my grandma my mom said it was my fault because I couldn't keep our business to myself the next time I saw my grandma was on her death bed quite literally she died of cancer in August of 2000. But that couldn't be the end could it. Never. So we found out I had depression with psychosis meaning I hear things. My depression got so bad. I started doing bad in school and not caring if of my mom beat me. I got put into a counseling at school it was a 3 month program and I finally started to come out. I graduated the program. The next week just made all that progress for nothing. My uncle who had stayed by me through the death of my grandma and tried helping even when I pushed him away was killed. He was supposed to be on his way to have pizza with me. I remember being so mad because he never showed up. When I got up the next morning, late for school, I thought my mother was going to flip instead my dad (who never knew what my mom did because he worked very long hours to provide for us kids so we never had to worry about food or shelter. He was an amazing man. When he did finally find out he told us we should of told him. We would of taken us and left.) Was there and said I wasn't going to school and broke the news to me. I locked myself in my room and for 3 days played nsync (Jerry used to dance to it) non-stop. I felt like I was dying. I had got expelled from the last month of school so my mother's step dad offered to take me to New York to get me away and maybe it would help. Little did we all know it just made my entire life so much worse. In April of 2001 I went to New York and was raped repeatedly for a week by my step grandfather. There was nothing I could do. There was no one I could go to for support or help. It was my fault. When I returned home my grade straightened up and I abide by all my mother's rules just so that I'd never have to spend time with him again. Later that year he remarried and moved away and I never saw him again. I started dating multiple guys just trying to cover the pain and hurt I felt. I got sexually active with every guy I was with. I never took the time explore my sexuality or anything I just threw myself in relationship after relationship never being happy just numbing myself. In the next year's I lost another uncle, my best friend was murdered (guy at school beat her she was in hspiral and died from a blood clot), and my baby cousin died of S.I.D.S. My mother was abusive through it all she wasn't just hitting on me anymore and even though I tried taking the brute of it she was pretty ruthless through it all. My brother has a medical condition and she continuously hit him in a sensitive spot for his conditions. My sophomore year of high school we had to move. My parents had gotten on the wrong side of some very bad people. We started over in a new town, new city, new state. It was horrible. I met some new people and found friends fairly quickly. I got involved with an abusive controlling bf who I was with for 5 years on and off. Everytime I let him back in he just repeated it all over again. I was done taking the abusive from every which way between my mom and him I just wantednout so I saved my money. Lunch, babysitting, anything I got I saved. I got enough for a bus ticket back to where we came from. I was going to go stay with my uncle and get emancipated and take custody of my brothers. However my controlling bf found out told my mother and well it created a scene. I went and my dad got there first he took me back to school. So I hit a friend from gym class up who was a senior to give me a ride and well went back to the station. My mother was there and she jerked me by my arm and I stood my ground so she had me arrested the cops said they could book me or send me home and I said I would just leave again so the took me downtown. Well I went to juice and the judge asked after a month if I would like to go home and I refused. I was eating 3 meals a day, doing my school work and wasn't getting beaten or into trouble I wanted to stay. After another month of good behavior though the judge sent me home. So what did I do? I rebelled. I dated a guy I knew parents hated and didn't want me near. And I ended up pregnant with my daughter (who is now 8) my mother had a fit when she found out. Beat me within an inch of my life but that didn't effect me anymore. The day I turned 18 I joined the Navy. I had to sign temporary custody to my parents so I could join. However the agreement was I get my baby back when I finished boot camp... go figure my mother refused. Had to battle it out in court. My own mother fought me for custody over and over again for my child. I won and received my custody back August 8, 2012. Then to top off all my mother's horrible actions she killed my daddy February 25, 2013. He had be hurt at work and received strong pain meds. The day he died, I had given him his medication at 1330 right before I went to work. He was to receive it every 6- 8 hours my mother gave him another does at 1730 qhennshe got home and one before he went to bed. When the police arrived she told them that she had given him 1 dose and that's all he had because ahe had his medication with her at her work with her. I thought it was weird she lied but when I mentioned it to the police they said maybe I was mistaken or maybe she was confused because of what had just happened. They never even investigated. It was ruled as an accidental overdose. His system had 3 times the normal amount of the medication and his heart was 4 times its original size. She got away with murder. She started sleeping with people too soon after he died to even make it look like anything else. She slept with my brothers wife's father who was my dad's best friend. Then she got with a boy who is 3 years older than me who jumped me with my daughter in my arms and is a convicted felon. She lost it and when my family moved across country to get away she fought me for only my daughter saying I was unfit even though I had 4 children at the point. The judge denied it saying if I was unfit she would fight me for all of the kids. So life has gotten better since being here. I am going through a divorce which started off Rocky however we get along now. In fact he lives in my spare bedroom in the same house as me and my fiancé. My mother hasn't changed she is still trying to fight my for only my daughter. I have 5 beautiful children and I found my soulmate in my fiancé. He is my everything he knows what ice been through and he is helping me find myself. He was there qhen I needed him the most. Last year, Sept. 2016 I had a little girl that only lived for 5 minutes. I got to be the first and last thing my little angel saw. It was one of the hardest moments of my life. The next day I met him. We started talking just as friends. He knew my situation and asked to take me on a date. And from there we have only grew. We are closer than ever and he doesn't judge me. He tells me I'm valid having the feelings I have. I don't care about what someone's sex is I fell for him before I knew he was transgender pre- op and surprised him when it didn't bother me. I loved him for him and that's all that matters. I don't care what part a person has as long as they are a good person and love me back. 10.01.16

#my life #growing up #abusive mother #abusive ex #teen pregnancy #rising above #college graduate #married #divorce #engaged #transgender #pansexual #doing better for my kids #death #5 babies #mommylife #rape survivor

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