#and somehow survives down there for a MONTH and when she's finally out shes just kind of. A little bit messy. Shoes ruined | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

utterlyazriel · 2 months

Text

whom the shadows sing for — (and the thief's echoing hymn)

a/n: here she is... chappie four <3 thank u for ur patience and 1000 kudos to the anon that made a plot suggestion that i had already written lmao-- as always let me know what u think! things are heating up....

word count: just under 4k

synopsis: You return to regular training for the first time in a month. Azriel asks a favor from Rhys and finds you in a less than stellar condition when he returns to camp

CHAPTER FOUR :: FRIENDS

Velaris is a sight for sore eyes.

After nearly a month of endless white scenery, of the blinding glint of the sun against snow, paired with endless pine, the sight of a city is a reprieve in itself.

And because it’s Velaris — because it’s home — something else settles within Azriel.

A hackle that always stays on high alert finally lies down. The constant agitation of his shadows falls into a calming hush. He breathes easier.

He's back with his family and can be here to keep them safe if need be. He's back to the closest semblance of comfort he's ever known.

Where do you find comfort?

Azriel blinks a little, taken aback at the abruptness of the thought.

The lone shelter in the mountains, spaced out from the circle of buildings, every bit representing your isolation from the people of the camp — that was your home.

Where you resided and took solace from the world in, the place you felt safest. But... it's no place of comfort. It's a crutch. A necessary support. Somehow, Azriel has no doubt that if you could survive out in the snow, burrowed amidst the elements, you would, if only to have one less thing to maintain.

You've never even seen a city before, he thinks. All you know is the mountains.

Suddenly, eyes cast across the breathtaking beauty of Velaris, the hum of the Sidra carving its way through his beloved home, the buzz of people on the streets, Azriel recalls the very time he lay eyes on it himself.

It never stops being breathtaking. That much is true, but then again, there was no comparison to the first time.

The warm feeling that had grown in his chest. The way something he hadn't known ever existed within him had unfurled, like a flower blooming in the sun. Something Azriel now knows to be hope.

He hadn't known a place this beautiful could exist.

Wouldn't have been able to dream it up when all he had known for so, so long was darkness and shadow.

Even in the time after the cage, all there was to see was the white of winter and the cold bite of the harsh mountains. He learned how blood looked melting into the snow, how to sleep with one eye open, and all the different shades of cruelty.

Azriel remembers being unable to comprehend the sight, the stumble in his heart at the indisputable proof before him. That despite what had been drilled into him by his father, his brothers, by every Illyrian warrior who punched down on bastards, there was a place where peace reigned above all.

People who lived in harmony. Where Art and music are considered a treasure alongside other skills, each equally important. And Azriel belonged there, as much as any of them.

It had been one thing to walk through the city, to marvel at every cobblestone, at the trims lining each and every window, to have people regard him with such a polite and casual manner — not a second glance at his wings or his hands.

It had been something else entirely to fly over it as night fell.

Mountain ridges illuminated by his most constant friend, the rising moon, watching the moonlight spill over the dark red rock of the mountain and paint it ever softer. Sweet ocean air and the very perfume of the city intertwined within the current as he soared above it, mighty wings beating.

Azriel could remember that first day and night in Velaris vividly, like an unforgettable dream. How easy it had been to fall in love with it, to let its arms unfurl and to allow himself to make a home within them.

Looking out across it now, as Faelights begin to twinkle and blink to life as the night creeps in, all Azriel can think of is how much he wants that for you.

To bring you here. To have both of you fly above the city and wander down the streets aimlessly, to show you that there were places far kinder in this world than all you had known before.

He yearns for you to have the same dawning realisation he did—that so much more existed outside of those gods forsaken mountains.

Azriel knows you're a very guarded male. You have more than enough reasons to be. He's already pushed a thousand boundaries you have and each time you let him into your sanctuary in the mountains is a sign of enormous trust.

Maybe for that reason, Azriel wants to be the first to extend that kindness to you.

A twinge in his chest sings a different, golden answer.

Azriel ignores it and steals one more look out at his home, swallowing down how all logic seems to be pointing to the same thing, time and time again.

He finds the High Lord in his study, papers stacked high on his desk that have only grown higher in Azriel's absence. His dark hair is tousled in a way that means he's been running his hand through it too much.

Azriel lifts the shadows from beneath his feet as he enters, letting the other hear the sound of his soft footsteps. Rhys looks up at the new arrival. Despite his tired appearance, it does nothing to dim the grin that overtakes his lips at the sight of his brother.

"My, my, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"

Azriel grins back, stepping forward Rhys pushes back from his desk and stands. His usual wings have been hidden away through his magic and Azriel notices their absence when he pulls him into a brief hug. Rhys lingers close, his violet eyes raking over his friend.

"Not bad to see you either."

"You flatter me." Rhys purrs, his voice all buttery and smooth. "You've got new eyebags. Overworking yourself as usual, are we Az?"

"I presume you make such lovely comments about Feyre too?"

"And risk her wrath?" Rhys smiles, eyes glittering at the mention of his mate. "Never."

Azriel rolls his eyes, letting his obvious endearment at his brother's happiness show. They truly are a perfect pair.

He crosses his arms across his broad chest tightly, if only to hide the fleeting flicker of wanting the spools tight in his chest. A ribbon of envy, woven between his ribs.

If Rhys notices, he doesn't comment. Instead, he says, "Usually, you're itching to escape the mountains but not this time I see."

He pauses, eyeing up the Shadowsinger to see what response it'll give. Azriel yields no comment back. Expecting this, Rhys smiles.

"Either way, you'll be happy to hear that Cassian has returned from his time off and is ready to resume his usual duties."

Azriel stills at the words.

He knew that Cassian would at one point return to his usual positions and that Azriel himself, would return to his spymaster post. But it's come sooner than expected. Perhaps, time with you has been passing far quicker than Azriel thought.

"I found the cause of the rumours."

"Yes, I assumed you had," Rhys says, wandering back around the deck to slump into his chair. He leans one arm against the armrest, his knuckles against his temple.

"I also assumed that you spent all that time dealing with it. Much of a problem?"

Azriel considers his words carefully. The trust he's managed to garner with you is fragile, though he knows his friend would not severe it or interfere if he asked.

Another part of him knows it's unusual behavior of him, to offer his skills so willingly to a stranger. But, well, you're not exactly a stranger anymore.

"There's a male.” Azriel begins, choosing his words carefully. “A bastard, the one causing all the stir-ups. He feeds the other bastards when he can. It's what had Lord Mylind kicking a fuss."

Rhys curses lightly at the realisation of just which camp they are dealing with.

"He's learning to make healing tonics," Azriel continues, noting how Rhys' head straightens up a fraction. Interested. "In hopes of slipping them to freshly clipped females. To see if it can reverse the damage."

Rhys sits back in his chair completely, his hand brushing over his mouth in deep contemplation. For a moment, he says nothing.

"I suppose I don't need to ask if there's been any female training then."

Azriel feels himself glower instinctively, his wings hiking up an inch higher without meaning to. He thinks of Lord Mylind and the conversation he had on the first day in their camp. The sheer display of male arrogance, snarling, and threatening violence outright.

"No.”

Rhys curses again, his eyes crushing closed. He seems to filter through a pained reaction, his face contorting until it lands on a tired resignation.

“The camp of Exordor made very good on a bargain struck during a very hard time.” Rhys grits the words out.

Something dangerous flashes in his eyes at the mention of the deal that had turned sour. A cold ripple of night shudders through the room.

No amount of soldiers supplied during the war had been worth the suffering that camp Exodor alone produced— or continues to produce if the whispers that came out of there held an inkling of truth.

It’s a rotten place, tucked deep in the mountains, and some of the worst brutes Rhys has ever had the displeasure of meeting were born in the bowels of that place.

“It doesn’t lift for another 50 years." Rhys sighs, his voice wavering with a hint of shame. "I can’t touch them without slaughtering them all— innocent or not.”

Azriel didn’t say anything for a moment. This information is not new. He watches as Rhys digests his silence, leaning back in his chair as the wheels spin in his head, dizzyingly fast.

For the second time, Rhys' brows jump.

“You’re helping him.”

Not a question.

Azriel nods.

"You don't want Cassian to take back over."

"No," Azriel murmurs. "Not yet. The male is... He's guarded. Isolated. It has taken time to earn his trust. I believe in what he wants to do and I believe he has what it takes to achieve it.”

He thinks of the quiet evenings within your shelter, your patience as you taught Azriel what you could — how you took every piece of information from him on the chin, not one complaint of ever tiring. He thinks of the heaving in his chest, the tug on his heart.

"I ask that you let me see this out." Azriel finishes, his shoulders rolling back as he stands tall. Let Rhys understand how this had become more than just a mission to him; it’s a personal calling, one he must answer, one that he needs to see out to the end.

Rhys surveys him intensely, unblinking for a moment. Then something devious crosses his face, catching in a smile.

"That's not the only thing you want to ask me, is it?"

Azriel looks to the ground, suddenly bashful. This would be entirely too revealing of the closeness he felt, to ask this, to offer this. He asks anyway.

"I wish, with your permission, to take Heartstriker." Azriel's voice rumbles lowly. He forces his eyes back up, meeting Rhys' strong gaze. "To gift to him."

Something dips into Rhys' smile, threatening a smirk and for that reason alone, Azriel feels his ears tinge hotly. His face remains calm, however, giving nothing away.

"Heartstriker? As a gift?" Rhys repeats, with a sly smile. "Pray tell Brother, when's the wedding? Since when have you ever been known for gift giving, let alone something as dear to you, such as a sword? I might just have to meet this bastard."

Azriel’s ears only get hotter, betraying him. He prays it doesn't show on his face, though he's sure the increased swirlings of his shadows give him away. And Rhys’ infallible ability to read his flustering each and every time.

"Is that permission?"

Rhys, seemingly realising he won't be getting any juicy details, quits tormenting his brother with a flourish of his hand. He leans back in his chair relaxed, a softness creeping into his expression.

"It's been yours to take all these years, Az." Rhys finally lands on. "You did earn it, after all."

—

The shelter looks bigger without him here.

Betrayingly, it’s the first thought you have when the door swings open, letting you into your nest of safety. You heave in a breath that rattles loudly and it gets swept up in the foul whistle of the Mother's Kiss.

On your side, your blood-soaked hand clutches your abdomen tightly. Pain spiderwebs up your body, fraying every nerve with a burning agony.

Every step feels loud and clumsy.

You cough as softly as you can, yet still feel the warmth of blood on your lips. The familiar metallic tang overwhelms your mouth.

You must be dripping blood behind you, dragging a slushy mess of crimson snow in on your boots. Fuck, what are you doing again? Your head throbs. They must've knocked your head hard this time if you're losing focus this quickly.

The Mother's Kiss howls fiercely, a reminder of the cruelty outside your little haven.

Right. You remember you need to close the door— and you shove the deadbolt closed along with it. If your ribs were aching a little less, you would reach up and do up the second deadbolt too, at the top of the door. You try to anyway.

Your arm gets mid-way up before you freeze, pain lashing every nerve in your midriff, enough to make you wince loudly. The bindings on your chest aren't helping. For a moment, dark spots dance before vision as you quickly tuck your arm back down, moving too quick.

Fuck. Fuck. One deadbolt will have to do.

It feels as if the whole world lurches when you take your next step, blurring like thick taffy for a split second. You stumble towards your bed and realise as you sink onto your knees on the edge of it, you need to dress your wounds.

Another bloody cough. Has your nose stopped bleeding yet? It's impossible to tell between each and every other ache.

What were you doing again?

Without meaning to, you begin to slump over, nearly lying down in your bed.

Dressings! That's right, you need to make sure the wound on your side isn't still bleeding, need to make sure it's clean when it finally begins to clot, need to...

Need to... what did you need to do?

That's right— you need to sleep.

Your head crumples against the pillow like a dead-weight as you collapse against it, exhausted. As your consciousness wanes, you cough again, a splatter of red spraying your pillow.

Not good, you think absentmindedly. Eyes slipping shut, you miss the familiar figure out the window, approaching through the storm.

—

You're wincing before you even realise you're awake.

Crackling. Logs spitting out little snaps fill the air, the quiet roar of a hearty fire; the first things you hear when you come too, far too slowly for your own liking. Your left ears hum loudly in discomfort— no doubt a result of one of the harsh hooks you had caught in the face earlier today.

Next, you smell something... clean?

Your tongue comes out gingerly, licking your cracked lips and you realise quite suddenly, there's an absence of blood on them. The thought slams into you at the same time you realise; you hadn't been able to stay awake for long enough to even light a fire.

Panic reaches through your ribs and grips your heart, tight, and you sit up without thinking.

Pain follows you closely like a lazy afterthought that slams into you, soaking into your body meanly and making you regret moving so fast. Your head swims heavily, throbbing dully.

A pained noise threatens to leave your lips and you force it down. Then force your head up, eyes blinking rapidly, trying to assess the threat, trying to do something.

Panic squeezes your heart painfully again when your hazy vision clears just enough to reveal the shape of a body before you— your blood chilling in your veins as you realise there's somebody else in here with you.

The whimper you held back before slips out before you can help it, your body squirming backward without thought. Your breaths comes out in sharp pants, bursts of pain accompanying each one, and right as you hit the wall, your vision focuses.

Your lungs empty in relief.

It's Azriel before you, on his knees, his scarred hands are held out in front of him.

They aren't touching you, just hovering, his palms up to indicate he means no harm. His wings are tucked back, hunched down to be smaller than usual, and all around him, his shadows whirl about animatedly.

There's an expression on his face you've never seen before.

"—on't move," He's saying, his low voice finally registering in your ringing ears. His hazel eyes are fixed on your face, darting about quickly. "You'll re-open your wounds."

He's talking about your wounds but for some gods forsaken reason, all you can think is how surprised you are that he came back.

The thought loops endlessly, like a holy mantra —he came back, he came back, he came back— and you realise that you were both terrified and also sure that he wouldn't be coming back at all.

That somehow, somewhere along his trip back to his home, he would have realised you weren't anything worth coming back for.

"Azriel?" You wheeze.

Just to check—you have to check.

Maybe he's a mirage. He certainly would be the kindest mirage you can think of.

You think you see something soften on his face, his wings dropping an inch lower behind him. His hands are still held out before you, still waiting. He's endlessly patient. His shadows seem to slow a bit, less frenzied.

"Yeah," He murmurs gently in response. His hazel eyes burn as they take in the sight of you again. "They got you pretty messed up. huh?”

You're sitting on your bed still, you realise. Blinking slow, you take an inhale, trying to put together how he got here— your eyes fly to the door. It's locked, this time with both deadbolts secured.

Azriel follows your gaze, turning his head slightly. "They're a good precaution. Don't be dissuaded that the spymaster of this court managed to get past them."

You wheeze again, some delirious laugh that gets cut off when pain splinters through your side. You groan lowly, unable to hold it in and your hand creeps slowly to paw at your side.

Faintly, you can feel the scrape of bandages on your skin, covering the wound, and sigh in relief. It makes your diaphragm sink down, the bindings around your chest shifting and that sends a frantic bolt of alarm through you once more.

“You—” The word scratches out your throat and you cough weakly. Every instinct starts to light back up, hackles rising— there has never been someone else around when you're too weak to defend yourself. It takes a moment with eyes closed and measured breaths to lean into your trust. You trust him, you know you do.

“You... patched me up?”

The question comes out wary and pointed despite your efforts. Though that might just be the gravel in your throat from having your face beaten in.

You don’t know how to covertly ask if he saw— if, that when he pushed your bloody shirt up to nurse the slash in your side, he noticed the gauze around your ribs.

It's an alien and terrifying thought, Azriel finding out. A worry deep in the marrow of your bones warbles in response, a thousand hairs standing up on end at the possibility.

How a revelation of that magnitude could sever the first trust you've had in years.

How it could lose... the first friend you've ever truly had.

A string of nausea tugs in your throat, bile threatening, and you have to swallow it down with the crippling fear that's been thrust into your system.

This is how it goes. The intrinsic balance of the world —to be gifted closeness and friendship, is to submit to the possibility of losing it.

Back against the wall, it settles into you very starkly, a thought sharp and clear; you do not want to lose him in any way.

Some part of you thinks he must see you as some kind of starving mutt, growing far too attached to the first hand that feeds it. But looking at him now, his shadowed face and kind expression, the depth of his eyes... you're convinced he sees something more to you.

And you want him to, desperately.

In a way you can't comprehend, can't begin to understand— how can you be so tied to someone you've known for so little? How can it hurt so much to be parted from him when you're barely friends? When he doesn't even know who you truly are.

Perhaps, you think, this is what all friends are like. You wouldn't know, you haven't had any before.

Azriel nods mutely, a strand of his dark hair falling over his forehead. He seems to be considering his words carefully and you take the moment to steal a few deep breaths.

When he speaks, his voice is softer than you’ve ever heard. "I understand that might be... crossing a line. But—" A waver in his voice. "— but I could smell the blood from out in the storm."

There's something left unsaid in his sentence, his tone clipped. Whatever it is, you're far too tired to discern it. Your body, overwhelmed with tension, abruptly loosens as the perceived threat of danger seeps away. It drains you, a sudden wave of tiredness cresting upon you— because you know, undoubtedly, you're safe now.

Not quite meaning to but unable to stop yourself, you sink down and fall limply against your bed. Your wing curls over you defensively, a blanket and shield all in one.

Azriel's hands finally lower, resting gently atop his thick thighs. His shadows dim their chaotic activity, almost lazy with how they whirl about his neck and shoulders. You wonder absentmindedly what they feel like against his skin.

Looking back at his face, you find his eyes haven't broken their watchful gaze on you— intense enough to stir up an unfamiliar warmth within your chest. You avoid it and his eyes, your tired eyes catch sight of something behind him.

"You brought...?" You can't quite finish your sentence, a vicious shiver wracking your frame, making you curl up closer. Tiredness chases it, the threat of sleep looming closer and closer.

Your eyes close without meaning. In the darkness, Azriel's voice swims before you, muted and far away.

"You have to get better before I can give it to you." His voice has dropped to a whisper. It makes your lips twitch in an attempt of a smile. It's funny, hearing a legendary Illyrian warrior like him whispering.

"Okay," You might say back— though you're not sure if it sounds like a word at all.

It doesn't matter. You're already asleep.

—

tags <3

@strangerstilinski @janebirkln @itsswritten @mischiefmanagers @hnyclover @waytoomanyteenagefeels @idkitsem @illyrianbitch @jeweline16 @fightmedraco @iamjimintrash @maeandering @spideytingley @aneekapaneeka @cassianswh0reeee @viciane @astarlitsoul @mybestfriendmademe @archiveofcravings @reputaytionn-13 @bionic-donut @chessebookgirl @itseightbeats @littleblackcatinwonderland @twsssmlmaa @fanworrior @skysayhi @vintageoldfashion @tequilya @fabulouslyflamboyant5

#azriel #azriel x you #azriel shadowsinger #azriel shadowsinger x you #azriel shadowsinger x reader #azriel x reader #azriel acotar #azriel fic #azriel fanfic #acotar fanfiction #whom the shadows sing for #whom the shadows sing for (and the thief’s echoing hymn)#OKURRRR #LETS GO #I HAVE TO LEAVE FOR WORK IN 10 MINS SO IM JUST POSTING #if theres things wrong with it.... well ill deal w that later #enjoy! <3

197 notes · View notes

sunkissed-zegras · 7 months

Text

✮ 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐯𝐞, jump then fall au

au masterlist! masterlist!

♡ ─ word count | 2.7k

♡ ─ summary | cece has been working for adam for a month, forming a bond with paloma. she comforts paloma during a tantrum and later helps adam when paloma won't stop crying, late into the night. they discover the meaning of paloma's name as they bond over it.

♡ ─ warnings | toddler tantrums, sleep-deprivation LMAO, um nothing else (i think)

♡ ─ taglist | @literatureluster @itsnotgray @valluvsu (fill in form in my navigation in you are interested!)

♡ ─ ev's notes | after weeks of writer's block, we GOT OVER IT. war is overrrrr, finally. we survived the great war. anyways, this chapter is so sweet and i love it so much. i also realized my love for adam is very much eternal and undying, i will love him more than anyone else 4ever and idc. should i start a go-fund-me so i could get his jersey?? help a broke college student get her fav hockey player's jersey✊🏼✊🏼 also happy spooky seasonnnnn!!!

also if anyone has au thoughts please send them in for my entertainment, i love love LOVE asks.

It had been a month since Cece had started working for Adam and she has loved every second of it.

Well, maybe not every second but Paloma was the sweetest girl she's ever worked for. She was funny and easy to work with, unlike some of the other kids she's worked with. Cece had quickly adapted to the rhythm of the new job, finding ways to connect with Paloma and make their time together enjoyable and overall fun. She had become an big part of Adam and Paloma's daily routine, and it was clear to everyone that Paloma adored Cece.

Cece was sitting comfortably on the floor next to Paloma, watching her favorite movie, "Beauty and the Beast" for the fifth time she couldn't help but smile at the toddler's enthusiasm. Paloma's eyes were glued to the screen, and she occasionally mimicked the characters' actions or lines with her limited vocabulary, making Cece laugh in the process. She was adorable, her heart melted with every little word she mimicked.

As Belle and the Beast danced in the iconic ballroom scene, Paloma attempted to mimic their graceful movements, stumbling slightly in her excitement. Cece chuckled and gently held Paloma's hand, helping her "dance" along with the characters.

She laughed as Paloma kept her dance up, "You're doing good, sweetheart!"

Paloma beamed happily at Cece's words of encouragement. Her tiny feet shuffled clumsily on the floor as she continued to "dance" with Belle and the Beast. It was a sweet sight, and Cece couldn't help but feel a deep affection for the little girl.

Right as the dance ended, the apartment door had opened. "I'm home!" Adam's voice rung out through the entire apartment. As he walked into the living room, he smiled at the scene in front of him.

"Hey," Cece greeted him with an equally bright smile as him, still sitting on the floor next to Paloma, who had now shifted her attention from the movie to her dad's arrival.

Adam bent down and scooped Paloma up into his arms, eliciting giggles from the toddler. "Did you have a fun day with Cece, sweetheart?"

It was sight she had grown used to now, Adam and Cece had become a staple in her life even if it only has been a month. She couldn't help but feel like she was a part of the family, somehow, even if she wasn't exactly blood-related.

Paloma nodded enthusiastically, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "Daddy, dance!" she exclaimed, her arms moving in an attempt to recreate the dance moves she had just seen on the screen.

Adam laughed, sharing an amused look with Cece. "You've been dancing, huh?"

Cece nodded, her smile warm. "She was quite the dancer, just like Belle."

Adam chuckled as he watched Paloma's attempts at dancing. "I see that. Thanks for keeping her entertained, Cece."

"No problem," Cece replied, a light tint of blush coming onto her cheeks. Adam continued to play with Paloma, making her giggle and laugh. Cece watched the father-daughter duo with a fond smile, her heart warmed by the sweet scene before her.

After a quick lunch, Adam had to go back for a team meeting so Cece had to stay with Paloma a bit more, which usually wouldn't have been a problem ─ except now, Paloma had suddenly decided to have a tantrum because of her father leaving.

Cece tried her best to soothe Paloma as Adam prepared to leave for his meeting. She understood how difficult it could be for a toddler when their parent had to leave, especially when they were as attached as Paloma wa.

As Adam headed towards the door, Paloma's cries grew louder, and she reached out for him, tears streaming down her cheeks. Cece held Paloma close, trying to comfort her. "It's okay, sweetie. Daddy will be back soon."

Adam paused at the door, his heart aching as he looked back at his daughter. He wanted to stay and comfort her, but he also knew he had responsibilities. "I'll be back soon, sweetheart," he reassured her, his voice filled with love. "Cece will take care of you."

Cece nodded at that and gave him a quick nod, gesturing for him to leave. He sighed and nodded, exiting the apartment as Paloma's cries continued for a while. Cece did her best to distract her with toys and games, hoping to ease her distress until Adam returned.

They played with her building blocks, read some of her favorite books, and even had a little tea party with her stuffed animals. Slowly but surely, Paloma's tears began to subside, replaced by the occasional hiccup.

Cece kept a watchful eye on the time, knowing that Adam would return from his meeting soon. She didn't want Paloma to be too upset when he got back. As they continued to play, she whispered comforting words to Paloma. "Daddy will be back before you know it, sweetheart. He loves you very much."

Paloma, still a bit sniffly, looked up at Cece with her big blue, teary eyes and nodded. Cece couldn't help but smile at the toddler's resilience. Paloma gave her a whine and gave reached out her arms towards her, gesturing for her to pick her up.

Cece gladly picked Paloma up and held her close, cradling her gently in her arms. Paloma's sniffles gradually turned into contented sighs as she rested against Cece's shoulder.

──

Cece awoke with a jolt as she felt Paloma being carried from her arms and Cece almost screamed until she realized it was just Adam. Relief washed over her as she blinked away the remnants of sleep, "Shit, you scared me."

"Sorry," Adam laughed softly, his voice filled with warmth as he held Paloma against his chest. "I'm back. How was my little princess while I was gone?"

"She was, um... she was good." Cece yawned, her eyes watering at that. Sudden embarrassment washed over her as she realized that she fell asleep on the job but before she had the chance to apologize, it seemed he had read her mind.

"Don't apologize, I get it." Adam offered Cece a reassuring smile as she nodded, gratefully.

"Thank you," she laughed softly as she got up from the sofa, standing in front of him. She never really realized just how tall he was but suddenly, she felt like he was towering over her. Sudden butterflies emerged in her stomach as she looked up at him and they gazed at one another.

"Well─"

"I─"

They both spoke in union before they paused, looking at one another for a second until they laughed. God, they were so in sync. "You, um, you go first," Adam smiled down at her, Paloma looking very pleased with the scene before her.

"I was just gonna say, I have a Chem test tomorrow and I haven't studied for it," she explained groggily, exhaustion clear in her face.

Adam couldn't help but feel disappointment building in his stomach as he heard those words come out of her mouth. "Oh, yeah of course. Go, don't worry, I'll take of our Paloma." It had come out so naturally he almost didn't catch it. Our Paloma. It sounded so... perfect and Adam could feel himself getting used to staying it, our Paloma, our girl.

Luca's words kept repeating in his mind as he waited for her response, "No girls." But as he stared into her eyes, her big, beautiful, deep─

"Yeah, our Paloma," she repeated softly, a warm smile spreading across her face. "Thank you, Adam."

"Of course, no problem. Um, get home safe and good luck on your test tomorrow."

As soon as she reached the door, Paloma whined. You looked back at Adam knowingly as Paloma started reaching for Cece.

"Hey, hey." Adam started trying to distract Paloma which did nothing but make it worse, somehow. "Princess, it's alright, she's coming tomorrow."

Paloma's whines grew louder as she continued to reach for Cece, her little arms outstretched. Adam didn't know what to do; she usually stopped crying after he comforted her, but this time, it seemed she only wanted Cece.

Cece hesitated at the door, torn between her responsibilities and the adorable toddler who clearly didn't want her to go. She looked at Adam with a questioning expression, silently asking for his help.

"It's fine, Cece. I can deal with her." Adam's voice was gentle, and he tried to hide any disappointment he felt about the situation. He walked closer to Cece, giving her an understanding smile. "You should get some rest and study for your test. I've got this."

Cece sighed in relief at Adam's understanding. She bent down and gently placed a kiss on Paloma's forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow, sweetheart," she whispered softly to the toddler before reluctantly stepping out of the apartment.

Adam watched her go, feeling a mixture of gratitude and disappointment. He knew that Cece needed to focus on her studies, but a part of him wished she could stay. He turned his attention back to Paloma, who was still crying in his arms.

"It's just you and me, kiddo," he said with a soft smile, carrying the crying Paloma back to the living room. He was determined to make the evening as comforting (as he could) for his daughter.

As the night wore on, Adam did his best to comfort Paloma. He played with her, read her a bedtime story, and even sang her a lullaby, but nothing seemed to calm her down completely. The toddler's cries continued, growing more tired and desperate as the hours passed.

He felt like he didn't know Paloma anymore, he spent less time with her than he had done in the past. Was he being a terrible dad by prioritizing his career over Paloma? He didn't know, he felt truly helpless as his ears began to sore from the constant crying from his daughter.

It was around 1 am when Adam realized he was at his wit's end. Paloma had been crying for hours, and he was exhausted and frustrated. He felt like he was going to go insane, especially because none of his family was here to give him a break. That was until he remembered: Cece.

He pulled out his phone and sent a text message to Cece, his fingers typing quickly.

Adam: Hey, sorry to bother you, but Paloma won't stop crying, and I don't know what to do.

He felt guilty for even asking, knowing Cece probably has her own worries and problems. But he truly had no one else to turn to, his body sore from practice and he was fatigued from all the crying, on top of everything.

His phone started buzzed almost immediately and he looked at the caller ID: Cece was calling him. He slid to answer,

"Cece, I'm sorry, did I wake you up?"

"No, I've been up." Cece laughed through the speaker. But Adam could hear the exhaustion in her laugh, as much as she tried to hide it.

The guiltiness hit him like a truck when he heard her voice. He almost wanted to cry, "I'm sorry, Cece. I just had... no one else to call who I trusted."

That statement made Cece's heart swell. He trusted her? "Oh, Adam don't apologize. That's what I'm here for. Do you want me to come?"

"No, no. It's too late and I don't want anything to happen."

Another soft laugh escaped her before she started hearing some crying from his side. She was almost concerned, thinking it was him until it registered in her sleep-deprived mind that it was just Paloma. "I'm a big girl Adam, I'll be there in 10."

Before he could protest, she hung up and Adam let out an exhausted sigh before he turned to Paloma, who was still crying. How much tears could one little girl have? Adam thought to himself.

Cece arrived at Adam's apartment right on time, her heart heavy with worry for both him and Paloma. She had come as quickly as she could, not wanting to leave Adam to handle the situation alone any longer. There wasn't any traffic because it was 1 in the morning, the only real plus of this whole thing.

When she entered the apartment, she found Adam sitting on the couch, looking utterly exhausted, with Paloma crying in his arms. She had never seen him so tired, his hair messy and his eyebags visible. Without hesitation, Cece went over and gently took Paloma into her arms.

"Hey there, princess," she cooed softly, rocking Paloma gently. "It's okay, I'm here now. Shhh, it's alright."

Paloma's cries gradually began to subside as Cece worked her magic. Adam watched in awe as the two of them seemed to have an unspoken connection. Cece had gotten Paloma to quiet down after four hours of nonstop crying but Adam was too tired to feel anything but exhaustion. He had been at his wit's end, unable to calm his daughter down, and seeing Cece work her magic with such ease was nothing short of amazing.

"Thank you, Cece," Adam whispered, relief washing over him as Paloma finally began to calm down. He felt a deep sense of gratitude for the young woman who had come to their rescue once again.

Cece smiled warmly at him, despite her feeling just as (if not more) exhausted than him. "No need to thank me, Adam. I'm always here to help." She looked down at Paloma, who was now resting peacefully in her arms. "Besides, I think I've started to become quite attached to her."

Adam couldn't help but chuckle softly at that. He appreciated Cece more than he could express in words. As he looked at her, holding the most precious thing in his world like she was also the most important thing in hers too, he felt his heart do a little loop-di-loop and he couldn't stop it even if he tried.

"Thank you, Cece," he repeated, this time with a warmth and admiration that went beyond words.

"You know, Adam," Cece began softly, her voice barely above a whisper, "I'm here not just for Paloma. I'm here for you too."

Adam's heart skipped a beat at her words. It didn't feel like some grand confession, it felt like just a simple fact. And now, as he gazed back at Cece, he no longer questioned if she was responsible or sweet enough for his daughter, he knew it for a fact.

"I know," Adam's voice sounded even more exhausted than before, smiling back at her.

As Paloma fell asleep in her arms, Cece took a seat next to Adam on the couch. They both knew she wasn't going anywhere for at least a couple hours until Paloma is fully asleep, so she got comfortable.

As Paloma fell asleep in Cece's arms, a sense of calm settled over the room. The exhaustion and tension from earlier seemed to fade away, replaced by a peaceful stillness. Adam and Cece sat side by side on the couch, watching over Paloma as she slept.

In the quiet of the room, they didn't need to say much. Their presence was enough, and it felt strangely comforting. It was as if, in that moment, they were a small, makeshift family brought together by circumstances.

Cece was the first to speak up, her voice tired. "Do you know what Paloma means?"

Adam was too tired to say anything but shake his head as she continued, "It means Dove, I looked it up earlier. Isn't that cute?"

Adam had named her after his great-aunt (per request of his mother) but had always liked the sound of it. He had never thought of looking up the meaning but now that he knows, it's perfect. Dove, Paloma, it was just perfect.

Adam smiled at that. "That's so cute. Our little dove." His head fell on Cece's shoulder as he yawned, his eyes feeling heavy. "Dove, that's a cute nickname."

"We should start calling her that." Cece's eyes suddenly felt heavy too as she yawned along with Adam, nodding.

"Dove," Adam repeated softly, a smile playing at his lips. "I like it. Our little Dove."

Cece nodded in agreement, her voice barely above a whisper. "It suits her."

The exhaustion of the long night finally caught up with them both, and they began to drift into a comfortable silence. Adam rested his head on Cece's shoulder, and she gently leaned into him, their shared warmth and the sense of family they had formed providing a profound a great sense of comfort.

-> make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated! <-

thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

293 notes · View notes

icaruspendragon · 6 months

Note

im sorry to ask but i dont know what else to do—how did you do it how did you dig yourself out because it feels like i am choking on dirt and people keep shoveling it onto me and i miss her so much and i dont know how to make this feeling stop. she was my best friend. ive never lived in a world without her before. how did you do it. how are you doing it

grief is so hard and so heavy when we first meet it. it feels like all our arms will ever hold for the rest of forever. and it is, in a sense. once we pick it up, we never really set it down. not fully.

and I don't think it gets lighter, I think we somehow, impossibly, get stronger.

there's lots of metaphors for grief. that's one of them. another one I like to use is that it feels like you're in the grave with them. like lazarus. like yourself. waiting for someone to raise you from the dead. to raise you both.

I've learned a lot about crawling out of the grave. more than I would have ever wanted to learn. like how emptiness is actually quite heavy. or how to pretend like you feel half-alive. but I think the most important thing I've learned is that somedays, we inexplicably end up back in it. and that sucks.

because we just spent months clawing our way through the bugs and the earth. because our soldier-hands have finally breached the surface. because the sun is finally caressing our hell-fresh faces. because for the first time in months we feel like we can finally breath. and then, suddenly, we're right back in the terrible thick of it.

those days make it feel like I'm sisyphus and grave dirt is my rock. or like I'm prometheus and the darkness is my eagle.

but then it's tuesday.

which is to say my brother died on my 25th birthday, a monday. and that day is now a memory that's fuzzy around the edges. single snapshots I know are connected, but I couldn't tell you how. I remember my mother standing in my bedroom and tears and family and phone calls and cleaning my living room because I didn't know what to do with my hands. I remember going to my grandmothers and my phone vibrating off the table and leaving to go get coffee because I couldn't sit still. I remember joking, trying to joke. trying to do whatever I could to make sense of that impossible day. I remember checking my phone and reading and rereading the messages, a mixed bag of congratulations for surviving another year and condolences that my brother didn't, I remember not knowing how to respond to any of them. so I didn't. I remember being surrounded by so many people doing nothing but extending love and kindness to me and never feeling more alone. the world was ending and I was alone. I thought that day would go on forever.

but it didn't.

it ended, as all things do. monday was over and my first day as an only child was done.

and suddenly it was tuesday. and everything was different but also exactly the same.

it was tuesday and my brother was dead. I was so heavy when I woke up that first tuesday. so heavy and confused. I thought the world had ended. it surely felt like it had. but it hadn't. because the world couldn't have ended on monday.

not if it was tuesday.

it was tuesday and my brother was dead but the world wasn't ending. monday should have been our demise, but it wasn't. and it hasn't. and it won't. because just as sure as we have mondays, we'll always have tuesdays.

that's something I've taken a strange comfort in, knowing that we'll always have tuesdays.

the feeling never stops. but I think that's okay. because you're only feeling that way because there was love first. and as much as what I felt on that first tuesday hurts, as much as it suffocates, as much as it consumes, I'd take the hurt and the suffocation and the consumption because the love I felt first will always, always be worth it.

tuesdays will always be worth it.

like yeah, if I loved less, it wouldn't hurt this bad. but I don't want to live in a world where I have to love less. where I was loved less.

I'll take the pain. I'll take the grave days. I'll take the rock. I'll take the eagle. I'll take apocalyptic, earthshaking mondays. I'll take every last wretched bit because goddamn what a miracle it is to love so bad it hurts this big.

I hold that love, his love for me and my love for him, a love that's now become our love in the cage of my ribs while I'm in the cage of the grave. and I dig.

it's monday and I dig.

I dig.

and then tuesday comes.

#asks #long post #grief #cw: death #hope this helps some way

356 notes · View notes

louscartridge · 1 year

Text

how you and chishiya met/started daiting

do not give permission for my fics to be posted claiming to be yours, translated, or posted on another platform without credit.

cw- season 2 spoilers?? gn reader, mentions of death, blood, injurys, nirgai, reader being a member of the beach, reader and kuina being the best bestie, chishiya pretending to be readers bf, the smallest bit of swearing, kissing, the smallest bit of drinking.

❥ you guys first met in a game

❥ it was a hearts one

❥ he was impressed on how you survived at the end considering usually only one person does in heart games

❥ you never talked or interacted too much in the game tho

❥ the second/actual time you met was at the beach

❥ you became a part of the beach before him

❥ when you got back from the heart game you told hatter about him.

❥ you figured he could be of use.

❥ and boy were you right.

❥ after some convincing hatter told kuina to try and 'recruit' him.

❥ to your surprise chishiya actually came.

❥ everyone could tell his gaurd was way up and he had no intention of letting it down

❥ you and kuina had met in the borderland and had quickly become good friends, so it was expected that kuina quickly noticed how you felt about chishiya.

❥ in the time span of a few months, somehow, kuina ended up becoming almost as close to chishiya as she was with you.

❥ though, with you and kuina being close, alot of the times kuina was hanging out with chishiya you were there too

❥ kuina is fr your guys' biggest shippers

❥ she saw right through chishiya and his whole 'she could just be another sacrifice' thing

❥ the first time chishiya showed that he actually cared about you was after you came back from a game.

❥ you had gotten a spades game. in other words a physical one. usually spade games were nothing to you as you were quite athletic and enjoyed running and exercising of the sorts.

❥ however this one was tough.

❥ you had the rest of the players were trapped in a room where the walls were covered in spikes with no way out except a door on the ceiling, but you had to climb up the spikes to get to said door.

❥ you had fallen a few times, which earned you a pained back and ribs, along with some gashes on your hands, thighs, and forearms.

❥ you often came back from games complacently fine, rarely with blood on you. if you did, it was often other peoples.

❥ so it caught chishiya's attention when you had returned to the beach holding onto your thigh, struggling to walk with ripped clothes.

❥ luckily he quickly saw ann come over to you and start to tend to you.

❥ "are they going to be ok?" chishiya asked kuina

"hmm.. why do you care? theyre just another sacrifice." kuina smirked.

"no theyre not!"

kuina looked at chishiya in shock. that was the most emotion shes ever seen him express.

however chishiya let out a shallow breath composing himself. "no. theyre not." he repeats. this time though it was said how he would say anything else.

❥ chishiya never told you about him and kuinas conversation. there was no need to.

❥ kuina, however, did.

❥ when niragi first joind the beach, chishiya immediately felt off about him.

❥ chishiya's suspicions were soon proven right when he started seeing nirgai trying to get close to you. multiple times. even after youve clearly expressed how uncomfortable you were.

❥ nirgai was at it again, standing in front of you after a executives meeting. he was continuously reaching his arm out trying to put it on your waist.

seeing as how nirgai wouldnt stop chishiya took it appon himself to help.

chishiya came over to the two of you and draped his arms over your shoulders.

"what the fuck are you doing?"- nirgai

"im their boyfriend, what the fuck are you doing?"

❥ after the two of them going back and forth for a bit nirgai finally gave up.

❥ you sighed and leaned against chisiya

❥ you felt him tense up when you leaned on him. "thank you" you told him. "of course."

❥ you were the first one to make an actual move obvi.

❥ you had gotten back from a game slightly hurt.

❥ ann couldnt help you this time since she was still at a game when you got back so chishiya offered to help you.

❥once he was done you asked if you could stay in his room until the others got back to which he surprisingly said yes to.

❥ one thing led to another and some how -you dont even remember how- you found yourself softly kissing him.

❥ however the kiss didnt last long from chishiya quickly pulling away.

❥ "no- no i cant let you in"- chishiya

"you can. itll just take some time."- you

❥ kuina noticed how slightly different you two were acting around each other when it was just the three of you.

❥ she knew you guys liked each other but she just thought you guys were still oblivious to the others feelings

❥ the three of you were hanging out in the bar when chishiya leaned over you getting something for you that you couldnt reach.

❥ "oh my god just kiss already!" kuina exclaimed, drink in her hand.

'did you tell her anything?' chishiya mouthed to you.

'no!' you mouthed back.

"holy shit you already did! when? y/nnn why didnt you tell me??"

2K notes · View notes

weird-is-life · 1 year

Text

Amnesia

Pairing: Steve harrington x fem!reader

Summary: You get hurt in the battle of Starcourt and suffer a memory loss. You forget the last few months, basically your whole relationship with Steve

Warnings: language, mentions of food, memory loss, mentions of blood, hospital, panic attack, use of y/n and pet names, so much angst, fluff, a few kisses

Words: 8.6k Masterlist

A/N: English is not my first language, so please excuse any grammar/spelling mistakes

When you went to visit Steve at the mall as you did every day, you didn't even think anything could go so wrong as it did in a few hours.

As soon as you took a step inside the ice cream shop, Steve pulled you to the backroom of the Scoops Ahoy, an anxious smile on his face. The room was much more crowded than usual. Robin, Dustin, and Erica were there, heads put together in a heated conversation.

You knew straight away that something was not right. Steve tried to make you leave, but you stubbornly stayed there and somehow ended up unconscious in a Russian secret base a few hours later. You had never felt that amount of fear, as you had then.

God knows how you managed to escape from there. It was honestly a miracle since Steve and Robin were drugged.

But of course, you weren't as lucky as you thought you were. The kids stormed to the mall soon after you got out of the bunker, saying the Mind flyer was coming.

Steve tried to convince you to leave again, but there was no way you would have left all of them there.

"Please y/n, you can't stay here, you have to go!"

" No, I can't. I won't leave you here..." you argued.

" Please sweetheart, I can't have you here. What if something happened to you? I wouldn't be able to live with myself " he pleaded.

"And what if something happens to you? " you asked with worried eyes.

"I'll be fine as long as I know you are safe. Please, you need to go before it gets here" Steve was so close to just picking you up and carrying you out of there. But that wasn't necessary, you slowly nodded your head. The fear in Steve's eyes was enough to make you agree.

"Okay, I'll go. B-but promise me, you will be safe..." you had tears running down your cheeks. You were so scared for him and everybody else.

"I pro-" Steve didn't get to finish his promise, because the monster appeared in the center of the mall.

"Fuck fuck fuck. You have to run y/n, you have to get to my car and just drive far far away from here, okay?" Steve insisted.

"B-but the doors....it's right in front of it....how wi-"

"I'll distract it, so you can sneak away," Steve said it, like it was no big deal, "on three we run, okay?"

You didn't even manage to say anything and Steve was already running the opposite way.

"I love you," he said, right before he was gone, he gave you no time to say it back.

You did the only thing you could, you followed Steve's instructions. You carefully sneaked behind the Mind flyer, trying to be very quiet.

But something must have alerted it of your presence. It turned your way, away from Steve, reaching out for you.

"Y/N!" Steve yelled, but it was too late. The monster flung you against the wall, leaving you unconsciousness in a big puddle of blood.

Steve helplessly screamed your name over and over again. But you didn't move. He wanted to run to you, but Dustin stopped him.

"Let me go, Henderson!" he desperately tried to get away from Dustin's grasp.

"You will get yourself killed and that won't help her-"

"She is going to bleed out, I ha-have to get to her " Steve wasn't listening to anything Dustin was saying.

"Steve, don't you understand? Even if you get to her what will you do? The Mind flyer will kill you both. We need to get rid of it first" Dustin reasoned with him.

Steve wanted to argue, but he knew, that the only chance you had at surviving was by listening to Dustin. So he did.

When it was finally dead, he sprinted to your body. He was by your side in a matter of seconds.

"C'mon baby, open your eyes, c'mon sweet thing" he begged, tears soaking his face instantly.

"Steve we need to go!" he quickly picked you up in his arms and followed everybody outside.

The following hours were a blur for Steve. You got taken to the operating room as soon as the ambulance got to the hospital .

Steve wanted to go inside with you but he wasn't allowed to. So he sat in the hall in front of the room for hours on and on.

He was still dirty from all of your blood, but he refused to move from the chair, in case there were any news.

After the doctors were finally done, they told him everything there was to know.

Their words were like a knife to his guts. You hit your head pretty badly, loosing a lot of blood and sustaining a concussion. Your ribs weren't much better than that, a lot of them were broken along with your arm.

Steve listened to the news with dread, tears never left his eyes. It was like a nightmare.

"But she is going to be okay. I think she should be up after the anesthesia wears off," the doctor squeezed his shoulder in reassurance.

Steve almost fainted from the relief.

"Can i see her?"

"Of course, but only for a few minutes. She is going to be out for the night, she needs the rest."

But Steve wasn't listening to anything else after the 'of course'. He finally managed to do something similar to a smile and followed the doctor to your door.

You laid on the hospital bad, looking peaceful, but bruised. Your head was bandaged, arm in a sling but somehow you still looked pretty.

Steve sat down next to your bed, carefully taking the uninjured hand in his.

"Hi pretty girl," he reached out to brush a few loose strands from your face," you scared the shit out of me y'know? I thought t-that you... I'm so happy that you are okay," but Steve was looking at you and your injured body wasn't indicating that you were actually okay.

It pained him to see you this way, "I'm sorry, i'm so sorry, you should have never been there..." he sniffled.

Seeing you so hurt was like a hell for Steve. He wanted to swap places with you, he would have done anything to take your place. Anything.

He sat by your bed, talking to you, until the nurse came to ask him to leave," it appears i need to go. But i'll be here when you wake up, goodnight sweetheart, i love you."

He gave you a kiss on your cheek, there was no stopping the tears as he walked out of the room.

You woke up with a loud gasp. Nurses were around you in a few seconds, explaining everything and trying to calm you down.

You didn't remember what happened. You didn't know why you were in the hospital or why your whole body hurt so badly. Every single muscle in your body ached and your head was pounding like crazy.

The nurses told you not to move too much, so you wouldn't hurt yourself any more. They listened to your heartbeat, did some tests and left you alone for a bit.

And before you knew it, your parents were right beside you, weeping from the happiness of seeing you awake and okay.

Then they explained everything, but you had no clue what they were talking about. A mall? Big fire? Bunch of kids? Steve? Robin?

Half of the names, they mentioned were a big fucking question mark for you.

Your head started killing you even more from their confusing words. You were baffled, tired and in pain. And it definitely showed on you, because your parents were asked to leave, so you could rest some more and you were never so thankful for the sleep as this time.

Steve on the other hand was freaking out. When he came home so late at night, he took a quick shower and laid down for a short nap.

But the short nap turned into a long sleep. He woke up much much later than he wanted to.

After he saw the time, he stood up from the bed at once, swearing under his breath and rushed to the hospital. He didn't even get breakfast, the only thing on his mind was you. He hoped you were still alright, that nothing happened while he overslept.

He ran up to the room you were in and saw your parents leaving.

"Steve! What are you doing here? Didn't you go home? You should go get some sleep" your mom noticed him. Both of your parents looked even worse then him.

"I got some sleep, but i can't not be here-"his voice waivered," Is she-? "

"Yeah, she is okay, sleeping again."

"Again?" Steve questioned.

"She woke up a few hours ago, but she was very disoriented and fell asleep after like 10 minutes" your mom explained with exhausted voice. Steve realised, that both of your parents must have been in the hospital the whole night.

"Have you been here all night?" he asked them.

"Yes, we couldn't bring ourselves to leave just yet" your dad answered.

"You guys should go at least change home, i'll stay with her, i mean if it's okay with you?" Steve asked uncertainly, he hoped he didn't overstep.

"Okay with us? Of course, Steve. We would be very grateful," your mom said,"we'll be back as soon as possible."

"No need to rush, i'll look after y/n, i won't leave her side."

"We know, thank you Steve, see you soon" they waved him goodbye and left.

Steve stood with his hand on the door handle for a moment, even though he knew you were relatively okay, it wasn't easy for him. He needed to take a deep breath before stepping into the room.

Gathering enough courage, he walked in and sat down at the empty chair next to the bed.

"Hi beautiful," he took your hand, same as the day before and kissed it, "hope you're feeling better. I heard you woke up, I'm sorry, i wasn't here. I forgot to put an alarm last night, so I woke up too late," he told you.

You, of course, didn't respond and it suddenly made Steve miss your voice, not only your voice, you laugh, your eyes, just....you.

"I miss you so much, you should wake up soon or i might just go crazy" he laughed dryly, because it was only a few hours since you were smiling big at him and it was already too long for Steve, "you know what this reminds me of? That one time you refused to talk to me because i..."

Steve continued talking to you about the most random things or memories from your relationships. He was so focused on talking to you about this particular memory of taking you out for a picnic, that went horribly, because it started raining, that he didn't even notice you stirring awake.

He only realised, that you were waking up, when you squeezed his hand. He looked over to you and you were slowly opening your eyes.

"Hi, hi" he softly said. You finally fully opened your eyes and made a confused face .

"Harrington?" you tried to sit up, but Steve stopped you. "You shouldn't move too much. How are you feeling?"

"W-what's going on? Why are you here? Where are my parents?" you started asking him so many questions, you looked very perplexed.

There was something off about you, but Steve couldn't quite pin point what it was. You were looking at him somewhat coldly and distant and it made him fidget in his seat and feel uneasy.

" They went home to change, they should be back soon. D-do you remember what happened?"

"I-I-I.. no" you looked around trying to remember anything, but you remembered only some small bits of your mom's explanation from earlier? You weren't even sure, if those were real memories.

"You got hurt. The Mind flyer threw you against the wall, it was h-horrible" Steve tried to help you remember, but you looked so so lost.

"The mind flyer? What are you talking about?" you asked, hand on your forehead, because your head started to hurt.

"What do you mean?" You winced in pain," shit, are you in pain? I should probably go get the doctor -"

"No, i'm alright, i just... Why are you here Harrington?" you glared at him and pulled your hand from his grasp.

Wait, what? You glared at him, called him Harrington and pulled your hand away from him? Steve didn't know what was happening. He really hoped, you were still just confused.

"What do you mean, sweetheart? Where else would i be, if not here with you?" Steve smiled nervously at you.

"Sweetheart? Whoa Harrington, i don't know why are you here or why are you calling me a sweetheart, but you should probably leave. My parents could be here any second" you stated, still wincing from the pain.

"W-what? Y/N, this isn't funny" Steve heart was literally breaking from your cruel words. He hoped, that it was just a nightmare, he would soon wake up from.

"Yes, i agree, this isn't funny. If you think that just because i had some kind of accident and you came to visit me to the hospital, i will go on a date with you, you can forget it" every single word was like a hard punch to Steve's stomach. He felt like he couldn't breath.

"Baby, what are you t-talking about? We've been dating for a while now" he said with wide eyes.

"You can't be serious right now" you laughed, you had no idea what was Steve Harrington doing next to you, but you were 100% sure, you weren't dating him.

Steve was terrified. You were talking absolute nonsense. It was like you didn't remember him.

And then it hit him, you actually didn't. You didn't remember him. You didn't remember your relationship with him. You probably thought, he was the asshole, he used to be.

"I'm-I'm g-gonna get a doctor" Steve choked out and ran out of your room.

He grabbed the first doctor he saw and started explaining everything. The doctor listened to his ramble and immediately went to you. But not before he instructed Steve to stay outside.

Steve was burning holes in his shoes from all the pacing. He couldn't help but to worry the more time the doctor spent inside your room. By the time the doctor came out of there, Steve was an anxious mess.

"So? Do you know what's wrong?"

"Yes, it appears, that she doesn't remember certain time."

"A memory loss?" Steve voice broke.

"It looks like she doesn't remember quite a while. It happens sometimes, that after sustaining a head trauma the patients suffer a memory loss."

"B-but they will come back right?" Steve felt dizzy.

"I can't say. We need to run some tests, but there's always the possibility, that it's permanent. I'm sorry."

A big sick joke. That's how Steve felt, like the universe was playing a sick joke on him.

"So-so you're saying that she might not remember me, like ever?" Steve honestly felt like his whole world was being ripped apart.

"I'm sorry, i really can't say for sure. Hopefully, we'll have some more informations after we run the tests," the doctor said, giving him a sympathetic look before leaving him standing alone in the hall.

Steve literally couldn't breath. He felt so nauseous, he didn't know if he was about to pass out or be sick. He just knew he had to get out of there, to get some fresh air.

He quickly stumbled out of there. As soon as he was outside, he not so gracefully slumped down on the floor. He honestly didn't care about the looks that people were sending him. He was trying so hard not to panic, but it was nearly impossible.

You were his whole world, his most favorite person in the world, his best friend, the love of his life and you didn't remember him.

It felt so wrong, so fucking wrong. The look you were giving him, looking at him like he was just some stranger and not your Steve, was the most terrifying thing ever. It wasn't the monsters, the literal creatures from hell, but it was your unfamiliar even hostile expression.

Steve closed his eyes, willing the spinning of everything to go away. But the panic wasn't going away, Steve was about to throw up, when a voice spoke next to him.

A kind-looking older nurse was looking at him, "umm sir, are you okay?"

"I'm f-fine " he put on the strong face , the one he'd learned to forget around you.

"Miss y/l/n told me to find you, she wants to see you" she smiled hesitantly at him.

"Oh, o-okay," Steve wanted to get up from the ground, but his head was still spinning, so he sat right back down, "could you just give me a moment?"

"Sure, no problem, dear. Take as much time as you need" she gave him one last kind smile and left him alone.

It took him much longer than just a moment to pull himself together. Steve sat on the hard floor, the coldness of it kind of soothed his pain. Nothing hurt him physically, but his heart was literally bleeding.

He wanted nothing else just you. You to hold him close, to pick up the pieces of his broken heart. But there was no you. At least not the you, that he so desperately needed.

And you probably needed him more now than he needed you. So he picked himself up and walked the never ending (short) way to your room.

This time he didn't stop in front of the door, he just walked right in.

He found you sitting on the bed, eating some jello. A small smile crept up on Steve's face at the sight of you and the want to kiss your cute face overwhelmed him. But you noticed him soon enough and the strange expression was back on, leaving Steve to deal with the new reality. The reality that he couldn't just kiss you, because you didn't remember him.

"Hi" you said shyly.

"H-hey" Steve stuttered.

"I'm sorry for earlier, i know now, that you were telling me the truth-"

"It's okay, you couldn't know" Steve replied, looking everywhere else but you.

"Still, i can't imagine how hard this must be for you" gosh, yes it was so fucking hard for him, because you probably remembered him as a total dickhead.

"D-do you remember anything?" Steve prepared himself for your answer.

"I tried, i really did. But i.... I don't remember anything, i'm sorry. Last thing i remember is me and Nance driving to get her brother from some of his friend's house. I remember, that Nancy was so angry at him, that she kept driving in the wrong diractions," you chuckled at the memory, " i think she was angry, because someone else was supposed to drive him home, but i can't remember who... " you scowled as you were trying to figure out who it was.

Steve on the other hand was blinking quickly. He knew exactly who you were talking about.

It was Steve. Steve was supposed to drive all of the boys home, but he got held up by his parents. He was a little late, but he didn't forget to pick them up. And when he arrived at Dustin's house, you and Nancy were already there.

It was the first time, you and Steve met. He made a complete fool of himself, he was stammering over his words, flirting with you and at the same time badly failing at it. By some miracle, you guys ended up becoming friends and even with more luck, you said yes to a date with him a few months later. You should have seen him then, he was a mess, when he was asking you out. But all of that made the relationship you guys had.

So you remembering everything up until the most crucial moment of your relationship, the start of it, was even worse than it already was.

It was too much for him, Steve started hyperventilating and slowly sank to his knees.

"Steve! Oh god, what's wrong?" you were so concerned for him, that you didn't even think about your condition and sprang up from the bed to his side .

"Hey hey hey, what's wrong? Tell me what's wrong," you ignored the hot burst of pain in your head, hand and ribs.

Steve wasn't responding, he couldn't get the oxygen to his lungs, his vision was blurry and his chest felt very tight.

"Steve" you tried again and nothing,"C'mon talk to me." You were now fully panicking.

"I-I c-can't b-breath-" he barely got out.

"Shit, i'm gonna go get someone -"

"N-no," he shook his head. You didn't know what to do, but somehow your body knew exactly how to react, like you had done it before.

You took one of his hands and squeezed it lightly, letting him know you were there. "Steve, you need to breath with me, come on. In and out, in and out" you repeated the words over and over again. Steve got what you were trying to do and did it with you.

And it worked. His breathing slowly calmed down and he picked his gaze up from your intervened hands to your eyes. Realisation of what just happened struck him.

His cheeks went red from the embarrassment, you were the one, that almost died and he just had a panic attack.

"I'm sorry, so sorry" he stood up, making you stand up with him," you're hurt and here i am having a pan-... You shouldn't have gotten up from the bed." he blurted out. His hands were instantly under your knees and your torso, sweeping you off your feet and carefully setting you down on your bed.

You didn't even had time to react to it, because Steve started speaking," I'm sorry, i can't do this, i can't be here right now. I n-need to go ...This is just too much for me..." he carefully gave you a soft kiss on the forehead and left. Well not before, he bumped into your dad, apologised and ran out of there.

Steve didn't show up at the hospital for the next 2 days. He couldn't even get out of his house. Multiple people called him, he didn't answer, he ignored everybody and everything.

If you couldn't remember him, nothing else mattered to him. He didn't care about anything else.

So he drowned in the pain on his bed. But someone called him in the last few hours, so many times, that he just fucking unplugged the phone. Steve thought, that it was definitely Robin.

He also thought, that he was off the hook with her after that. That she would get the message, that he didn't want to see anyone, but he was wrong. It was Robin for godsake.

She came knocking, no not knocking, banging on his door. Steve ignored it, but when she started ringing the bell, too. He had enough.

"Go away" he muttered to her and went to close the door. Robin, the headache, that she sometimes was, put her foot in the doorway.

"Nope" she refused to move her foot even a milimetre.

"Please Robs, just... leave me alone" Steve had no strength to fight her now.

"No Steve, i'm no going anywhere. Because you are going to take a shower, get dressed, get in the car and drive to the hospital" Robin let herself in and glared at him with her hands on her hips.

"If this is all, you can go" Steve was just as stubborn as her.

"Listen, you need to go see y/n. "

"No, you don't understand. I can't. I can't be there, i just can't!" Steve sat down on his couch, running hands over his face.

"I know this is tough. I know it. I mean, she doesn't remember me, too. But the doctors ran some tests and said, that there is a very high possibility that her memories will come back. She just needs to do what she did daily and it may trigger them to come back. Meaning you need to go be with her, you two were always together" Robin reasoned with him. Steve opened his mouth to protest, but close it just as quickly.

"Okay" he murmured, already moving towards his room.

"Great! Go, i'll wait for you here. "

The drive to the hospital would have been quiet if it wasn't for Robin. She filled in Steve on everything he missed in the last two days.

Like how all of the kids came to visit you with hands full of gifts. It was a huge surprise for you, as you remembered only Mike. Robin told him, that they were very nice to you, answered every question you had and that you had fun.

Steve had a small smile on while listening to Robin's story, but he didn't say a word the whole ride.

Finally at the hospital, Steve thought about turning right back home. Robin must have sensed his nerves, because she caught his arm and dragged him to your door.

"Okay, be nice. I'll call you later," she spun around, ready to leave.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where are you going?" Steve panicked.

"Home? I have to go help my mom with... umm with a cake, bye !" She lied and quickly disappeared.

"Great" Steve sighed.

Steve, once again, just stood in front of your room, contemplating on what to do.

"Oh and one more thing" Robin was suddenly back at his side, opened the door, pushed him inside and closed it behind him.

"Oh, h-hi" your small voice greeted him.

" Hi" his features softened as soon as he took one look at you. You looked healthier and happier then the last time he saw you.

"How do you fee-"

"How are yo-" you both spoke at the same time, chuckling right after.

"You can go first," Steve said as the gentleman that he was.

"Thanks, how you've been?"

"I've been..." Steve thought about lying to you, but you always knew when he wasn't telling the truth," not great, but it's okay. What about you? Anything new?"

"I feel much better, the arm and ribs are healing, hopefully my mind will get better soon, too" you said, giving him a smile.

"T-that's great. " You two went quiet as he said it.

"Where have you been for the last two days?" you caught him off guard with that question, you thought of how it must have sounded and blushed, "i mean, given that you and i....t-that we are d-dating, i thought you'd come see me, that's all." You were blushing furiously by the time you finished. It was still very strange for you to thought of Steve Harrington as your boyfriend.

"Oh, i'm sorry. I just wasn't feeling well " yes, he lied this time and avoided eye contact with you.

"You know, your little friends were here," you changed the subject quickly.

"Yeah?"

"They told me all about you," you grinned at him.

"Did they now? Only good things, i hope" he bantered with you and took the now familiar seat next to your bed.

"To my surprise, yes" you blurted out, eyes bulging out, "Shit, i'm sorry Steve, i didn't -"

"It's okay, i understand. I was pretty much a dick" he chuckled.

"Yeah... I would never ever have guessed, that Steve Harrington is friends with kids" you teased him.

"Oh come on now, that's rude. "

"It's the truth" you giggled at his fake hurt.

"They're good kids, been through a lot" he told you and it was like his mind went somewhere else, somewhere darker for a second.

"I like them, they were fun to be with."

"Oh believe me, you wouldn't say that after knowing them longer" Steve said dramatically, "but i wouldn't have met you if it wasn't for them, so i'm grateful."

"Could you tell me about it?" you shyly asked him.

"About the first time we met?"

"Yes, please."

"It was.... -it was when you and Nancy went to pick up Mike from Lucas's house. I was the one, that was supposed to drive them home, but i was running late. So when i got there, you were already there," he took a deep breath, before he continued, "i remember, that as soon as i saw you, my mind literally went blank. You looked so fucking beautiful and i think my mind stopped working after seeing you, because i flirted with you, well i tried to flirt with you and it went terribly," he laughed,

"You basically scoffed at every pick up line or compliment i said and i thought, that was it, that I messed up everything right there. But somehow we became friends anyway," Steve had a fond smile the entire time he spoke.

"I wish i could remember it" you said and his fond smile turned to a pained one just as you said it.

"Y-yeah me too" Steve whispered, you could clearly see the sorrow, that he was drowning in. You thought about something to say to get that godawful look off of his face.

"Steve" you sweetly said his name.

"Yeah?"

"Could i... Could i maybe give you a hug?" you didn't know what went over you to ask him that, it was probably the big hurt puppy eyes.

"S-sure" were you trying to kill him? His heart almost leaped out of his chest from the thought of having you so close again.

He catiously closed his hands around your body, trying not to hurt you, because of all the injuries. The hug felt very familiar and safe, like your body recognised, that it was Steve. Your Steve. And It made you feel even worse for Steve.

"I'm sorry," you said.

"For what?"

"I just wish i could remember" you felt Steve suck in a breath, "No matter, how hard i try, everything is just pitch black." You explained.

"It's okay, it's not your fault-"

"I know, i just... I want to remember."

"There's nothing you can do, we just have to hope they will come back, right? The doctors think they will," Steve slowly (unwillingly) let you go, but still didn't move away from you.

"They also think i should get back to my normal routine."

"Yeah, Robin told me" Steve responded.

"I guess that means i have to hang out with Steve Harrington everyday" you joked, well Steve hoped it was a joke, he couldn't really tell.

" I promise you, I'm not an ass anymore. I'm much much better. You did go on a date with me, so that has to mean something" Steve convinced you.

"Relax Steve, i'm just kidding" you giggled at him.

"Oh. Right" his cheeks slightly reddened.

"Soo, what do we normally do every day?" you questioned, intrigued to know the answer.

"It depends-"

"Wait, before you start, could you go buy me a snack? The hospital food sucks" you sheepishly said.

Steve eyes warmly looked at you, before he stood up, " i'll be right back."

"Take the money from the table and can you get me K-"

"Kit kats and M&M's? Yes" he was gone, before you even got to question how the hell he knew what you wanted, leaving your money intact.

He came back with hands full of snacks, didn't waste the time and began telling you everything.

You spent one more week in the hospital, before you were cleared to leave. Steve visited you every single day. He always came with hands full of snacks and stories. Stories about your dates, about him, about your relationship.

Hearing everything about the things you did and not remembering them was frustrating. But it made you realise, why you had said yes to a date with Steve.

This Steve couldn't be more different than the highschool version of him. You learnt, that Steve was very genuine, attentive, funny and so so sweet. He constantly made sure, that you were comfortable. Like at any sign of discomfort or pain, he was up on his feet, asking if you needed a doctor, if you were feeling okay. You never felt so cared for like you did with Steve. It was honestly even overwhelming in a way.

And the pet names, god. They were actually killing you. Every time he called you by something other than your name, you were blushing madly, trying to contain the unknown feelings in your chest.

And naturally, he was the one, that drove you home from the hospital. He opened the door for you, carefully helped you in his car, drove so slowly, so nothing would hurt you and helped you out of the seat. He even offered to carry you to your room, which earned him an amused no from you.

He carried your bags in your room and left. He wanted to stay, but your mom was home to take care of you. So he gave you the absent minded forehead kiss like he always did. You didn't think, that Steve actually realised, that he did it. You didn't mind it tho, the butterflies in your stomach were a prove.

Steve left with a smile on his face, pretending that his heart wasn't actually bleeding every second you didn't remember you loved him. It was so fucking tough for him to see you without the love and adoration in your eyes.

But he pulled through anyways, he would have done anything to get your memories back. Even if it meant he would have to suffer, he didn't care, he would gladly go through hell for you, if it meant you'd remember. You were worth it, you were his everything and he needed you back.

It didn't take Steve long to call you.

"Hello?" you answered the phone.

"Hi sweetheart, i know i literally just left, but i forgot to ask. Would you like to go see a movie tomorrow?" he blurted out, making you smile," you don't have to if you don't feel like it. It's probably stupid idea, given you've just got out of hospital. Forget i - "

"Steve," you cut his rambling off, "i'd love to."

"Really?" Steve happily asked.

"Yeah..."you bit your lip to stop the ridiculous smile.

"Great, i'll pick you up around 6?"

"Can't wait" you stated.

"Me too, i'll see you tomorrow, bye sweet girl" you were glad, that Steve couldn't see you right then, 'cause you were blushing like crazy from his nickname.

"Bye, Steve."

"So, what movie are we going to see?" you stood close to Steve in the line for popcorn. Steve hand was protectively on your lower back.

"Some rom-com, ugh i forgot the name" he shamefully admited.

"It's okay, i'm just glad we are going out, i don't even remember when was the last time i went to cinema" you chuckled.

"A few weeks ago" Steve mumbled out.

"What?"

"You went to cinema a few weeks ago," Steve smiled fondly at the memory, " somehow we ended up watching a horror. You claimed, that you wouldn't get scared, it wasn't even supposed to be very scary."

"And wasn't it?"

"God no, it was too much even for me. We left like 15 minutes in" Steve said and you laughed.

"You can't be serious" you responded.

"It's the truth, i literally had to stay with you for the night, you clung to me like a koala for the whole night, not that i'm complaining" he joked, making you laugh again.

"Why would we go see such a movie?"

"I don't know, you wanted to see it and i can't say no to you" Steve grinned at you.

"Well, i hope this movie is okay."

"It is, i double checked it with Robin" he assured you.

"Good." Steve bought a huge popcorn and coke for you. He tried to buy like 5 more sweets for you aswell, but you stopped him and pushed him towards the screening room.

You took your seats in the very last row and watched the movie in silence, exchanging glances every few minutes. Halfway through it, Steve eyelids started to get heavier and heavier, until he was completely out.

You looked at the sleeping boy next to you and smiled. He looked relaxed, so you let him get the sleep, he clearly needed.

The movie was soon over and everybody was leaving, except for you and Steve.

"Steve, Steve, come on, wake up" you shook him awake. He slowly woke up, completely disoriented.

"Uh, shit. Did i fall asleep?" he groggily asked, rubbing his tired eyes.

"Yeah, but we need to go, the workers are starting to clean here. "

"Yes, we definitely should" Steve stood up, took your unharmed arm in his and carefully guided you down the steps, making sure, that you wouldn't fall. You learned, that it was always like this when you were with him, he never forgot to make sure, that you were okay.

He didn't let go of your hand even after you were away from the stairs and you found yourself wishing, that he wouldn't. Even if you couldn't remember Steve, your body definitely did. It was like your hand was made to fit perfectly in Steve's.

"Did you enjoy the movie?" Steve broke you out of your train of thoughts.

" It was good, but i certainly understand why you took the nap" you teased him.

"Sorry, guess i'm just a little tired" he yawned.

"I can see that" you softly looked at him, "are you sleeping okay?"

He nodded his head, not convincing you even a bit. But you thought, he'd say what was on his mind when he wanted to.

"Okay." You walked to his car, still hands joined together.

He let go of your hand and opened the door for you. You already missed the warmth and weight of his hand in yours.

You resisted the urge to reach for it again, when he sat down in the driver's seat. I mean, Steve would have been more than okay with you reaching out to hold his hand. He also thought about doing it, but didn't, he was the same coward as you.

So you both drove in silence, radio the only noise in the car. Steve parked the car in front of your house in no time and walked you to your door.

"Thank you for going with me" he timidly smiled at you, " I'm sorry, that I fell asleep."

"It's okay Steve, i had fun tonight even though you slept through half of the movie" you declared, making Steve chuckle.

"Goodnight sweetheart " you opened your door, ready to go inside, but in the last second you turned on your heels and planted a quick kiss on his cheek.

" 'Night Stevie." You disappeared inside, leaving a stunned Steve behind the closed door .

Steve spent all of his free time with you since you'd left the hospital. He came to you straight from work everyday, barely stopping at home to at least change his clothes. He took you on dates, on walks or just stayed in your house, talking about whatever.

And every day he asked if you remembered anything, your answer was a sad no everytime. Until one day, the day Steve invited you to a game night at Robin's.

"Y/N, we are already late. What are you even looking for?" Steve stood in the doorway of your room for like 5 minutes, looking at you as you searched for something.

"This one green sweater..." you murmured, still frantically digging through your closet.

"Green sweater?"

"Yeah, the one with the smiley face on it, remember? You gave it to me" you so casually replied, not bothering to even look up at Steve, who suddenly got a lump in his throat, "what d-did you say?"

Yes, he gave you that sweater, but it was before the accident, at the time you still remembered him.

"I said, that I can't find the sweater you gave me" you finally looked at him, the sweater in your hand and saw his big grin.

"Oh my god" he crossed the room in like a second, lifted you up and spun you around in his arms.

"Steve! What are you doing? Put me down" you giggled.

"Sorry, sorry" he lowered you to the ground, " but don't you realise?"

"Realise what?"

"You said, that it's the sweater, i gave you.."

"So?"

"I gave it to you before the accident" Steve's smile never left his face.

"Oh my god" you mirrored his reaction, "maybe i'm getting my memories back!"

"Gosh i hope so, do you remember anything else?" Steve tried to surpress his excitement, he didn't want to get his hopes up for nothing.

"No.... I'm sorry." Your happy face fell.

"Hey, it's okay. You remembered this little thing, it has to mean something good, right?" Steve caressed your cheek.

"It's just.... It's really frustrating hearing about everything i did or we did together and not remembering it" you explained with a cute pout, eyes a bit shiny. Steve didn't even realise how tough it was for you, too. He was too caught up in his sadness to notice it.

"Come here" Steve pulled you close to his chest, forcing his pained mind to shut up.

"We will get through this, you'll get your memories back. And if you won't, then i'll make sure to recreate them with you again" he whispered to your ear, holding you tightly.

"You're so cheese" you sniffled with a giggle.

"Only for you, pretty girl" he said with no hesitation, " c'mon now, Robin is gonna kill us for being so late."

"C-can you just hold me a little longer?" you shyly asked him.

"Of course, however long you want" Steve would never pass a chance to hug you, ever.

"Thank you" you said to his chest. You two didn't move from the embrace for a lot longer than Robin would have been happy about. Eventually Steve place a gentle kiss on the top of your head and moved you both to his car.

Over the course of the next days, you didn't remember much else, only some bits, but nothing big. And if you tried too hard to think about it, your head started to hurt.

"Don't do that" Steve frowned at you from the side of his bed.

"I'm not doing anything" you defended.

"You're thinking again."

"So I shouldn't be thinking?" you raised your eyebrows.

"You know what i mean" he rolled his eyes at you.

"I can't help it, it's on my mind constantly. Maybe if i think hard enough, they'll come back" it was getting worse for you, than it was for Steve. You weren't dealing it very well and Steve didn't know why.

"The only thing you'll bring yourself is a headache. "

"Right." You sighed and got back to your book. The furrow was still on your forehead, so Steve came up with an idea.

"You need a distraction" he announced, " let's go, get up"

"What kind of distraction?" Steve didn't reply, he went to his gramophone and put some Billy Joel on.

"Would you do me the honor and dance with me, my lady?" Steve offered you his hand and wiggled his brows at you.

"Steve, i can't dance!" you laughed at his manners.

"You think i can?" he pulled you up from the bed, "it doesn't matter if we can or can't dance, it's supposed to be a distraction."

"Steve, i really don't-" Steve put the music louder, shutting you up.

He put both of his on your lower back and started to move to the rythm of the slow song. And you let him, you wrapped your hands around his neck, laid your head on his shoulder and moved with him.

You didn't even know how long you stayed like that, just enjoying each other's presence. You didn't know most of the songs, but one.

Your picked your head up, when it started playing, smiling big at Steve. He had an expressions full of love on, making your pulse quicken suddenly. It wasn't the first time you'd seen him looking at you like that, but somehow it felt different. It felt more real. Maybe it was because your feelings, made it so different. You felt this very raw feelings, that made the breath hitch in your throat.

At one point looking at each other, he started to lean in as if to kiss you, but hesitated. Steve didn't want to make you uncomfortable. But you knew that, so you kissed him instead.

You pressed your lips to his, making him gasp. It took him a second to realise what was happening, but not too long. He kissed you back fiercely, so longingly, with so much affection, his hands squeezed your sides softly. You were thankful for his embrace, because you definitely lost your stability when his soft lips kissed you back.

You broke apart, when a loud thunder rumbled outside, lips swollen and both out of breath. The lightining and the thunder made you jump up in fear.

Steve spoke first, "shit, it's raining heavily, " he looked with concern from his window.

You still stood at the same spot, too overwhelmed by your emotions. You didn't know if it was from the kiss or the fact, that you hated storms.

"Hey, hey, hey," Steve immediately noticed the change in your behaviour, as always and took you hand" you okay?"

You nodded, "i just don't like storms."

"I know baby, but don't worry, nothing will happen. I'm right here, yeah?"

"I don't want to get in the car in this weather" you frowned at the window.

"We can wait a little, see of it passes or-or you can stay here. I h-have a guest room, you could sleepover. But it's totally okay if you want to wait, it's up to you" he rambled again.

"I think i'd rather just stay here, it doesn't look like it's going to stop any time soon, " you quietly said, worriedly looking at the storm, "i'll just call my parents to let them know."

"Great, are you hungry? I'll go make sandwiches" Steve smiled at you, happy that you were staying. He was mostly alone in this house, only exception was when you were with him.

"Sure, i'll put on some movie. "

"Take a look in the closet, you have a few things there. You should find something more comfortable to sleep in" Steve instructed and one look at your jeans was enough to agree with him. Altough, the few things as he said were like half of the closet.

You found some pyjamas, put on a movie and made yourself comfy in Steve's bed, waiting for him. Steve appeared a few minutes later, sandwiches in one hand and drinks in the other.

He sat down next to you and you pressed the play. The food and drinks were gone fast, leaving you with full tummy and heavy eyes.

Your tried to stay awake, but there was no fighting the sleep. Your head fell on Steve's shoulder, Steve just chuckled at you, put an arm around your sleeping form and tugged you closer to him.

You stayed like that until the movie was over. Steve then tried to as quietly as he could get away from your hold to go to the guest room.

"Where are you going, Stevie? " you broke out of your sleep.

"You can stay here, i'll go to the guest room." He said as a loud thunder made you jump again .

"Stay, please" you pleaded silently. Your voice was barely a whisper and Steve knew by your tone, that you were scared.

"Okay, come here, sweetheart" he got back under the covers and hugged you. You held him like your life depended on it, but Steve couldn't complain. He finally got a full night sleep that night, no nightmares of that horrible day in the mall walking him up. You couldn't complain either, Steve's hands around you were your safe place.

Steve got up before you in the morning. He was already in the kitchen, preparing breakfast when you woke up.

You quietly crept up on him and hugged him from the back, kissing his cheek sweetly.

"Morning, handsome!" you cheerfully greeted him. Steve reaction wasn't the same. He almost burned himself on the pan when you kissed him for the first time, the second time was when you called him handsome.

"Are you making pancakes? God, i love you" you kissed his cheek again and took a seat at the table. Steve stood frozen with a spatula in mid-air.

"Steve?"

"Steve?" you repeated, standing up again and coming up to him.

"You feeling okay?" Steve didn't know what he was feeling. Relieve? Excitement? Content? Happines like he could cry? Probably all of that.

"Where was our first date?" Steve blurted out, eyes full of hope.

"What? Stev-" you didn't understand why he was asking that.

"Where was it?"

"I-" it suddenly clicked. It was like a fog was lifted in your mind and you could finally see clearly all the memories.

"At the coffee shop. You spilled a tea all over the table, ruining both of our cupcakes. But it wasn't a bad day, i enjoyed it and did go on the second date with your clumsy ass. " There was no stopping the grins, that formed on your faces.

Steve started peppering your face in kisses, laughing madly.

"Steve stop, it tickles" you laughed, too.

"Nope, never" he chuckled loudly," never gonna let you go again."

"Is that a promise?"

"Oh definitely. Fuck, i-i can't believe you remember" your laughter died down, the realisation brought tears to both of your eyes, "h-how is it even possible ?"

"I don't know, maybe... maybe i just needed a kiss, like some princess" you joked.

"Is that so? I should have kissed you right away at the hospital then, no?" Steve literally radiated with joy, the spark in his eyes fully back.

"You should have" you agreed teasingly, "but i would have punched you, even with the broken hand."

"Oh god, you totally would. You were looking at me with such a disgust" Steve frowned at the memory.

"Sorry baby, but you can't blame me, i thought it was the old you" you ran your hand through his hair.

"I know pretty girl, i'm just so glad, you're back. I don't know what i'd without you. "

"You'd be fine. You had me falling for you again, you know?" you chuckled. Steve made it so, even too easy for you to fall in love with him again.

"Really?" he affectionally brushed your cheek.

"Yeah..." you bashfully replied, " i think, i'd learn how to love you every time."

Steve passionately kissed you, " Fuck, i love you so much. "

"Love you, too" you hugged him, hiding you face in the crook of his neck. Steve closed his eyes, he finally felt whole again, he felt at peace. He had you in his arms and that was all he ever wanted.

You started to pull away, but Steve wasn't letting go, " where are you going?"

"We need to call everybody-"

"Later, now just stay here" Steve mumbled into your hair, tightening his grip on you.

"Okay" you softly responded, feeling his tear fall down on your cheek .You stayed like that, 'till you limbs started to go numb and the food was burned. But you didn't care, you were just too happy to think about anything else, than yourselves.

...

@lokiofasgard616 @mrskeery-mclaughlin

@manuosorioh @gitchygitchygooo

Hi guys, thank you so much for reading. This took me way too long, but it's here finally. Hope you like it. Let me know what you think. Feedback is always appreciated.

Have a great day and stay safe everybody. Peace out ☀️

#steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x y/n #stranger things #stranger things imagine #steve harrington fanfic

815 notes · View notes

normanplusdaryl · 1 year

Text

Back to black.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader

Era: Season 9

Word count: 2.5k

Plot: Daryl comes home after many years to face the consequences of his actions.

Warnings: ANGST, pure ANGST!

A/N: I've been wanting to write this shared idea I had with @finalgirlrick for a while now, I hope I can break your heart (affectionate).

@weretheones I couldnt done it without u, like always! Ily <3

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Daryl was in pain and he knew it.

He tried to ignore the pang running through the wound for several days but the burning sensation wouldn't cave in and the medical herbs were not being really helpful.

Deep down he knew he needed help but somehow the idea of coming back to Alexandria stung more than the freshly cut on his face.

The river flowed quiet and calm, leaving barely any trace of the storm that crashed hard the day before. With one knee on the ground, Daryl watched the water following the trail while contemplating his options.

It’s been so long since he visited Alexandria.

When he decided to follow the river in hopes to find Rick’s body he never thought it would take so long, until days, weeks and months passed by. But he couldn't stop, the promise he made to Michonne drove his body incessantly.

He would never admit it, but there were moments when a small part of his heart hoped the reason why he couldn't find a trace was because his brother was alive.

After many years, that hope slowly started to fade away. Every day became harsher, colder, more dangerous. Sometimes he just survived for instinct, not because he really wanted to.

Days like this were tougher, he could deal with some injury across his face but he wasn't sure how devastating it would be for him to come back home and face everything he left behind to pursue something he wasn't successfully accomplishing.

He never let his mind ramble too much about what was going on back in Alexandria, he knew if he thought about it too much he wouldn't be able to resist dropping everything to go home, to Michonne, to Judith and RJ, to you.

The first years you visited him constantly, bringing food, blankets, fresh clothes or even weapons, anything that could help him out in the woods, trying to be close to him.

Still, that meant you were exposing yourself to the dangers of the path along the river.

He knew you were capable of handling yourself out in the open but Daryl couldn't bear the thought of you being in danger trying to find him. This was his task and no one should suffer with him the consequences of his decision, especially you.

“It’s been years, Daryl, you need to take at least a break, come back home, we can think of a new strategy, maybe this time I could come with you and…”

“Just stop” Daryl spoke in a growl without letting you finish. —“Ya shouldn't be here”.

You sighed, you knew you were pushing some dangerous buttons but after so many times of the same conversation over and over, you needed to make sure he heard you.

“I understand Daryl, I really do, but we need you too, I need you.” you begged.

Daryl’s gaze was glued to the ground, paralyzed with the fear of catching your eyes, he knew if he looked at you nothing would stop him from finally hearing your pleas.

“I talked to Michonne, you know? and she isn't expecting you to fulfill the promise, she just wants you back home, we all do” you continued.

Usually, you could read him like a book but right now, you couldn't point out what was going through his mind.

“I… I… dont think Rick would’ve wanted to see you like this either, Daryl”.

Daryl’s head snapped towards you. His face carried a trace of anger and sadness.

“I’m never gonna stop looking” he finally said, his tone of voice lower than usual — “This stops now, I never asked ya to be here”

The feeling of a thousand needles pinching through your body washed you over. You blinked twice, as fast as you could, trying to swipe away the tears that were forming in the corners of your eyes.

It took two long deep breaths for you to finally be able to speak.

“What does that mean Daryl?” you said almost in a whisper, afraid of an answer you already knew.

Hell, you knew it from the moment that bridge exploded, your legs ran towards Daryl so fast to the sound of the dynamite invading the forest, by the time you got there the flames started to fade away, giving space to dark a fume that took over the sky.

Your eyes searched everywhere for Daryl until you spotted him a few miles away, crossbow in hand. You yelled his name, twice, and when he finally turned to you, you knew, you could see it in his eyes, devastation consuming his body. Nothing would ever be the same from that moment but you loved him enough to fight and delay the inevitable for years, clinging to a hope that now was slipping right between your fingers.

Daryl took a step back, breaking your thoughts. He paced back and forward trying to gather the courage to speak.

“It means ya need to move on like I did” Daryl’s voice echoed in the silence of the quiet woods.

Daryl closed his eyes to the memory and sighed, that was the last time he saw you.

The way your face contorted with pain when he pronounced those words haunted his dreams almost every night. He knew he hurt you, and he regretted it everyday for the last couple of years.

Sometimes, he wondered if you could forgive him, maybe if he came back home and explained to you he never meant that, you’d take him into your arms like all those nights in the tiny basement of your house in Alexandria.

His skin was burning, but inside his veins felt loaded with ice, making him shiver.

That wasn't a good sign. The fever was rising fast, shit, there wasn't another option, he needed to go now before he was too weak to make the ride.

The guards of the guard tower recognized him immediately, the sound of the angry motor was something hard to ignore. “It's Daryl, let him in!” someone yelled from the inside.

Daryl drove through the gates giving them a thankful nod. Alexandria was different from the last time he was there, the community was thriving under Michonne’s leadership, they were not taking any new members for a long time now but still it felt bigger than usual.

“I thought I heard a bike” Aaron approached as soon as the doors closed behind him, extending his arms to give him a big hug.

“It’s been a while” Daryl squeezed his friend’s arm in response.

“It shouldn't be, this is your home too” Aaron gave him a sympathetic smile.

Home He might be back to the place he once called home but he knew the meaning of the term was gone the day he lost you.

“Jesus Daryl, that looks infected” Aaron broke the silence pointing to Daryl’s cut across his face.

“S’ not that bad” Daryl said as he shrugged.

Aaron’s expression changed as soon as he understood the reason behind his sudden visit, tension slowly invading his features.

“Daryl, I think we should talk before you go to the infirmary” Aaron’s tone of voice became serious. “Look, you probably don't know this but…”

“Daddy!” The sudden scream of a child interrupted the conversation. Both men followed the direction of the sound, finding a little girl walking towards them, pouting with fresh tears along her cheeks.

“What happened sweetheart, are you okay?” Aaron took the little girl in his arms, swiping away the tiny drops. “I’m sorry, let me take her home so we can talk” he frowned — “Don't move, I’ll be back in a minute”.

Daryl nodded watching his friend leave, confused by his words and sudden change of demeanor.

Once the residents spotted him he felt exposed. People greeted him with surprise, some of them came forward to ask him how he was doing while others just stared, clearly unaware of who he was.

Anxiety took the best of him, the chances of running into you were high the longer he stayed there, he thought it was for the best if he could sneak in, get his antibiotics and leave before you notice.

He owed you at least that.

The small white house came into his sight, pots full of flowers carefully placed following the road to the stairs. His heart raced when he recognized which kind they were: tulips, your favorite ones.

The curtains on the window were open, leaning on the corner outside the door he peeked inside in hopes to see Siddiq there, but what he saw made him freeze, feeling every inch of his skin electrified.

You were there.

Time didn't seem to pass by you cause he could’ve sworn you looked the same as the last time he saw you, except the pony tail you used to wear everyday was gone, and your hair looked shorter. He smiled recalling how many times you complained about being too long for the damn summer.

God, he missed you.

Daryl endured a lot of things down the river, but being away from you was the hardest one.

After your discussion in the woods, he made himself a promise. To make it through, he could never allow himself to think of you. Not because he didn't want to but because he was certain he wouldn't survive if he did it.

All the feelings he captured inside him all these years were coming out in waves, leaving him in a daze. He wanted to leave, this wasn't what he was planning on, but Daryl felt hypnotized. He drank you in, memorizing for one last time every corner of your beautiful face.

Siddiq’s frame appeared next to yours, whispering something in your ear that made you chuckle. The scene had a hint of intimacy hidden in the way you both looked at eachother.

And then, Siddiq’s hands took your waist, pulling you closer to him, until the distance between your bodies disappeared. He placed one kiss on your forehead followed by another one on your lips and you smiled at the action.

That's why Aaron wanted to talk to him first.

Daryl’s breathing hitched. No, no, no.

Siddiq looked different from the last time Daryl saw him, older, more mature and he could’ve sworn even taller.

He looked like the happiest man on earth. Daryl couldn't blame him, once he felt like that too.

He took your hand giving it one last kiss before waving goodbye, Daryl’s eyes were glued to the action, feeling a strange sense of relief once he left the room.

He didn't know how long he stood there in front of the door but he couldn't move, it felt like the strength from the earth was nailing him to the wooden deck, immobilizing his body. Everything hurt, if the fever didn't kill him this certainly would.

Immerse in his thoughts he missed the sound of your steps approaching the door, you opened it before he could make a move.

“Da.. Daryl?!” your eyes widened at him. — “What are you doing here?!”

The shock of having you suddenly so close left him flabbergasted, he remained silent feeling the lump on his throat getting bigger, words couldn't physically come out of his mouth.

Your eyes scanned him, you knew Daryl and the only reason he would come back was if he was dangerously injured.

His skin looked pale, and the bags under his eyes were starting to have a purple look but what really concerned you, was the swollen massive cut across his right eye.

You brought your hand towards his forehead, he was burning.

“Oh my god! Come in, come in." — " We need to take care of that, it’s already infected” you rushed him in as fast as you could.

Daryl nodded, still unable to talk.

Sitting on the stretcher Daryl watched your trained hands hurriedly clean up his wound, the smell of your sweet perfume captivated his nostrils every time you leaned over to apply some ointment. He hummed inwardly with delight, even as you were trying to be really careful to not hurt him further, he couldn't feel a thing, his mind was consumed in the sensation of your delicate touch.

“Here, you need to take one in the morning before eating, make sure to have something in your stomach, please” you softly said while giving him a bottle of pills.

“Ya sure don't need this?” guilt pang him, he was strong, two pills would do the trick, he didn't need more.

“Don't fight me, please?, I know what I’m doing” you scolded him tittling your head.

“Yeah, I know” Daryl’s voice came out almost in a whisper.

The tension in the air was palpable, filled with a thousand emotions. There was so much history between the two of you, even if you weren't together now, both of you knew you would always love and care for each other to the end.

Your heart was pounding so hard you were afraid you’d faint right there. You knew you would see Daryl again, sure, but not like this, not after Siddiq just left.

It took a long time before you could feel like yourself again, days and sleepless nights wondering for years why you weren't enough. Sometimes you would go outside the gates of Alexandria determined to search for him and talk, beg for him to take you back, to love you again. But his words rang loud in your head whenever you approached near the river “It means ya need to move on like I did”.

“M’ sorry” Daryl broke the cruel silence. “I didn't knew”

You closed your eyes, facing the window, unable to look at his face. It was crazy how deep down the feelings you had for him still burned like fire, hearing the sound of his voice made your heart race, attempting to jump out of your chest.

“Are ya happy?” Daryl continued, standing from the stretcher walking over to you. — “I need to know”.

You were happy indeed. Siddiq brought something different in you, a version you enjoyed. His love was calm, easy, steady, exactly what you needed after so much time alone feeling pity for yourself. A breath of fresh air for your drowning soul.

Sure, it wasn't the fervent passionate love you felt for Daryl, but it was enough to make you happy.

“I am” you simply answered. “And I hope you found the peace you were looking for”.

Daryl nodded, trying to keep himself together. He was truly glad you were happy but the sorrow he felt knowing he wasn't the reason behind overwhelmed him.

He couldn't blame you. You fought hard for many years to be close to him but the grief blinded him until it was too late. He told you to move on, so you did. It wasn't that hard to understand.

“Thank ya for the medicine and everythin’, angel.” he managed to answer.

Your head buzzed at those words, it took all of your strength to not run into his arms.

“Daryl, I…” you mumbled, hugging yourself afraid of falling apart into pieces.

Wishing he was a better man, Daryl walked towards the door crushed by the reality he was facing. He raised his eyes to yours for one last time.

“My heart will always belong to ya.” Daryl pronounced before crossing the frame of the front door, landing every word right inside your aching heart.

You watched him leave wondering if you were making a mistake, but fully aware that right now, there was nothing you could do.

598 notes · View notes

yelenasdiary · 8 months

Note

ive got an angst request! reader grew up with yelena in the red room and they were inseperable, and ruthless assassin partners and have always been there for each other but after they graduated, yelena went on to become a subjugated widow while the reader was sold by dreykov to hydra to train with bucky to become a winter soldier, and she gets the super soldier serum. years pass and she escapes, becoming an avenger but she eventually goes on the run after the accords and meets back up with yelena and nat during black widow and helps them take down the red room. even more time passes and yelena and reader become girlfriends and even better partners than they were before but then she survives the blip while yelena is dusted and theres a bunch of angst as natasha tries to pull her basically sis in law out of a slump as they both grieve yelena together but when given the chance to bring everyone back, reader ends up being the one to take on thanos in the end and slight of hands the stones off of him and snaps to destroy him and his armies. it ends with nat comforting yelena as they sit at readers grave. ive got a fun idea for part 2 if your interested in reader somehow surviving the whole thing but still having faked her death.

It Was Always The Plan

Pairing: Yelena Belova x Fem! Super Solider! Reader

Summary: After losing your girlfriend to the blip, you struggled to cope. Natasha lends a helping hand while you plan to take down the superhuman who took her away from you.

AC: Thank you for sending this & in great background detail!! It’s unknown (well to me anyways) if Alexei and Melina survived the blip so I’ve added a little extra detail, I hope you enjoy this x As for a part 2, I’m not sure if we’ll do one but we’ll see.

Year 1 -

Natasha placed a mug of hot coco in front of you before she took a seat across from you. It's been a struggle, but she finally managed to get you out of bed, even if it was just to sit at the table and have a hot drink with her. A few months ago, you lost your girlfriend, Yelena, to the blip. At first you didn't think she was turned into tiny pieces of dust, given that she was on a mission at the time, and you just assumed she would contact you when she was safe. But when Natasha tracked down Yelena's last whereabouts, it became clear that the blonde was gone, just like half the population.

Since Natasha told you what you feared, things have been dark and cold. Life just didn't seem enjoyable. You missed Yelena, deeply. But under the grief, you were angry and wanted nothing more than to destroy the one person who took the best part of you away, Thanos.

"Is there any plans yet?" you looked up at Natasha, a question you'd ask her once a week and every answer was the same, "No" she replied softly with a light shake of her head. Every no that left her lips made your heart break once more. You tried to be mindful that Natasha was also hurting, losing her sister isn't easy but it was clear that Natasha was dealing with the grief in her own way.

Every day she'd come by your room and check in on you, encourage you to come to team meetings, go for a walk or just simply come join her downstairs for a hot drink as you are right now. There were times where you allowed yourself to break down into tears while Natasha comforted you, something next to nobody has ever seen from you besides Yelena.

Year 2 –

As time went on, things didn't exactly get easier, but you learnt to cope with it in different ways. Natasha was the one who really pulled you out of the darkness of your room and continued to keep an eye on you which in many ways helped you both grow closer in more of a sister-in-law way and you almost felt like Yelena was still here.

You trained daily in the gym, attended team meetings, went on small missions when needed but in your own free time was when you found yourself trying to find ways to reverse Thanos's snap. Whenever you came up with something that you thought might be useful it always led to a dead end, and you were back to square one.

You also continued the work Yelena was doing with Melina before the blip, saving other widows. With the blip, it made it harder to track down some widows as they were also blipped but those who you and Melina could save brought some comfort and you only hoped that when (and if) Yelena would come home, she'd be glad that others were saved during this hard time.

Year 3 –

By now, dealing with loosing Yelena and the others was leaving the emptiness within your heart even deeper and for most, life when on. Mission came and went, Widows were still being saved from Dreykov's control even though he was dead, and the world moved on, like human nature.

Each night you found yourself seeing Yelena in your dreams or remembering good times you had with her. Memories from Red Room to meeting up with her again after years, you could still feel the way she kissed you before she left for a mission and the way you loved having her fall asleep in your arms. She made you feel like the world was in your hands, just the two of you in this world that almost made no sense to either of you.

You missed the way Yelena would tease you for almost everything, only for you to tease her back. You missed everything about her that eventually you'd fall asleep with tears rolling down your cheeks just wishing she'd walk through that door and apologise for being away for so long. You thought about how she'd tell you that her mission when wrong and she was taken and finally was able to escape or that she was out at sea and couldn't contact you.

But every scenario you played out in your head made you feel stupid for thinking that Yelena would let you and her family go this long without hearing from her.

Year 4 –

"You hit training pretty hard today, are you okay?" Natasha asked as you entered the compounds kitchen drenched in sweat. You nodded and smiled softly, "just making sure I'm ready" you replied before grabbing a cold bottle of water.

"Ready for what?" Natasha questioned.

"You know, for when we finally find Thanos and bring them home" you explained with confidence which only grew to Natasha's endless worries on you. Each day you showed that you were okay with how things were, that you were finding a way to cope but just like everybody around you, nobody was okay, not truly.

Everybody was doing something to try and fix things.

----

When you saw Scott rushing to Natasha's office you felt something that felt like it was slipping away, hope. The look on Natasha's face when she came to see you hours later only confirmed what you and everybody else had been hoping for.

"We have a plan" Natasha looked at you with a soft smile, a sparkle of hope in her eyes made you smile, "let's bring her home" you replied.

The only thing on your mind when it came to fighting the superhuman who took away your true happiness and the rest of your loved ones, was them. Nothing else mattered to you but making sure Thanos would pay and you were determined to make sure he knew that he messed with the wrong team of Avengers.

You'd been training yourself up for this, taking the gauntlet from the purple enemy knowing exactly what you were going to do next.

"Time's up big boy" you smirked as Thanos turned around an faced you, his gauntlet on your hand boiled his blood. "You don't understand!" he spat. "No, you don't understand! You took the one person I love more than anything from me! You took my friends and family! There's no forgiveness for that in my books!" You looked him directly into his eyes, raising your hand up slightly.

"Y/N! NO!" Natasha yelled as she ran towards you, "that wasn't the plan!" she added as you looked to her.

"This was always the plan, Nat" you smiled softly. "I know you'll take care of her" you added before your eyes looked back at Thanos and snapped your fingers together without a second thought other than knowing Yelena and the others would finally be coming home.

----

Every single day since Natasha brought her to your grave, Yelena would visit you. She'd bring some of your favorite snacks and just sit with you until she felt okay again. Natasha was never too far, always ready to be a shoulder for her sister to cry on.

"You idiot" Yelena shook her head as she placed a kiss on your gravestone, "you were supposed to be here, waiting. Not like this" she added.

Most interactions started off like this, first Yelena would show anger and hurt but soon it would change to how much she misses you and talking to you about the things she wants to do to keep your memory alive, letting you know that she'll never let anybody forget who saved the world. Then Natasha would come sit with her before the two of them shared their favorite memories with you.

It would take some time for Yelena to adjust, like you did. But she knew she had everybody she needed around her, even you and Natasha would be the one to make sure that Yelena would never forget about you, not that she ever would.

#yelena belova #yelena belova x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #marvel #fanfiction #black widow

193 notes · View notes

hueningsloverr · 2 months

Text

౨ৎ 261 weeks !

pairing: beomgyu x reader summary: love was scary, but loving beomgyu wasn't word count: 1.0k extra: happy five years to the king of mullets!! the birthday boy! apart of my anniversary series!

all it took was one glance to fall in love with beomgyu. your friends always joked about love at first sight, and it was hard to call yourself a believer of such nonsense. but then you met beomgyu. and it all made sense.

the two of you were like magnets, north and south, drawn together by some invisible force.

it was strange - you were never really sure what love was. sure, your parents were in love - but at times it felt like they weren’t. you didn't know what love looked like, or how it sounded. what it felt like. you'd never in your life felt the butterflies fluttering around your stomach, or the serenity love supposedly brings. then you met him. it was not butterflies, or serenity - it was complete chaos. your stomach was not filled with butterflies, but rather shards of glass and knots. it was odd. love wasn't supposed to feel like that, or so you thought. your stomach twisted in ways you didn't know were possible, and you felt light headed every time you even looked at him.

it was nothing like past crushes, or even relationships. in the past, you decided to always mentally breakup with a person before actually breaking up. it took you a minimum of two months, and then in your mind you were no longer together. you could kiss, and hold hands but it never feels like anything.

you figured thats why you were destined to be alone.

it doesn’t matter how long you could date someone, or how much you might like them - in your mind you have to break up.

and eventually you do.

thats what was so scary about liking beomgyu - the 'what if'. what if you stopped liking him, all of the sudden. what if you woke up one day with completely different feelings.

but, as days turned into weeks, your whirlwind of emotions surrounding beomgyu only seemed to intensify. despite any beginning fears, you somehow found themself seemingly drawn deeper into his orbit, unable to resist the magnetic pull of his presence. and before you knew it, he was asking you out on a date, and you were agreeing.

"i've got a date!" you hummed excitedly to your friend over the phone, watching as she smiled softly. it was hard not to smile when you spoke about beomgyu; it seemed to be unrequited love for the longest time, and now you had a chance.

"finally got asked out?" she teased, and you had half a mind to hang up on her then and there. but you laughed, nodding.

"popped the question last night when we were hanging out! we're going out to some restaurant he says is the best around on friday." you grinned, looking over at the calendar on your desk. "it's gonna be official soon. gonna go on the calendar." you added, staring at the empty date. you had his birthday circled, and his debut date, but that friday was left completely clean. if all went well, every year it would be marked with an anniversary. if.

you sprung up from your place on your bed, your phone thrown haphazardly somewhere near the end, and grabbed the closest marker you could. pink. in some literary way that would be considered ironic. you quickly marked down 'date w/ beomgyu @ 5:30' before moving back towards your bed.

now it was official. all that was left was for the date to go well.

which, naturally, it did. and time seemed to soar by after that. you made it through the 'three month rule', and the 'honeymoon phase'. survived any 'icks' - all the stupid modern slang for falling out of love. something about beomgyu made it impossible to fall out of love. it was as if he cast a spell on you, though you couldn't complain.

everything about beomgyu was loveable - even on days when his energy was lower than usual. you adored that fact about him; sometimes he had days where he just wasn't fully at a hundred, and that made him human. it was nice to know he still knew how to be human, even with his busy schedule.

he still found ways to make time for you, whether that was with face time calls or occasionally skipping practice. you adored him for all his attempts to be present in both your life and your relationship. he truly was arguably the closest someone could get to being the perfect boyfriend.

the closer you got to your five year anniversary, the more time he spent at your apartment. the other four boys were constantly hanging around the dormitory, and it was hard to find peace living with four other grown men. so, he resorted to spending a large sum of his free time with you - wandering around your part of town, visiting your favourite places, eating at your favourite restaurants. there was something so intimate, so domestic about it all. beomgyu was able to see an entirely different side to you, and vice versa. sides that had never fully been shown because there had been no reason to. living with someone is far different from simply knowing them.

beomgyu was able to see how much time meant to you, especially time well spent. he smiled seeing your large chalk calendar in the kitchen, where each month you erased and re-wrote to include the current things going on in your class. from nights out with friends to days spent entirely for yourself, it was all there. but there was a smaller calendar, hidden away in your room, long since forgotten.

it was old, with dust building up on its edges. it was a calendar from 2019 filled with different scenery around the world, though you only made it three months through the year.

"hey, babe?" he called out, staring blankly at the calendar hung up above your desk. it was years old, still stuck in march of 2019. scribbled messily on it were the words 'beomgyu' and 'date' - the rest was indecipherable. but he wasn't a fool, he recognised that very day. it was the day of your first date, the same day he asked you to be his girlfriend. you really never changed your calendar after that?

"i think your calendar is off by like-" he paused momentarily to do the math, "261 weeks."

a/n: grrr gyu birthday!!!!!! i luv u gyu :3 this took me way too long tbh

124 notes · View notes

miyaniacs · 4 months

Text

Corrupted by Darkness

- Introduction -

Facts ; Wattpad

ACOTAR x Fourth Wing x OC

You know how there’s Good and Bad in the world? Heaven and Hell? Angels and Demons?

For every good person, or fae, there’s an evil one out there. Somewhere.

Well it’s the same for dragons.

And I’m not sure if I found the good one or the bad one.

Hello Family,

I’m sure you all are thrilled to … read from me.

Until I found out you were spying on me the whole time?

Come one! Cassian? Do you have no trust in the way you trained me?

Or you Azzie? You made me a fucking shadow yet you’ve sent your shadows to spy on me?

I know I know, Im still a child in your eyes… but I’m as old as the others around me - besides I’ve survived with you as my “family”, you really think this will kill me?

Anyway, I finally have the privilege to annoy you all with endless letters, the first year is over and I’m still alive baby.

So let me tell you about my year…

On my very first day I made a friend, Rhiannon. We ended up being in the same squad too - Fourth Wing, Flame Section, Second Squad. Two new friends we made in our squad are Ridoc and Liam. I know you told me to stick to the other fae around here… But she’s a bitch and I’m this close to kill her every second she opens her mouth. And I really don’t know why our wing leader is fucking with her- like literally. Humans need to meet more fae, otherwise he’d realize that she’s not special. I really hope more fae will come to the riders and help mixing humans and fae in the future… Geographically our worlds are connected but somehow we are not. Back to this bitch tho. Her Name is Eve and she’s the daughter of some lord from Autumn, who’s dad is or was friends with Beron - this should be enough for you to know that she’s a bitch. So anyway now my friends and our section leader Garrick are now judging Xaden for fucking with her. Which made Xaden, our wing leader, hate me… Don’t ask me why just me and not the others too, but just me.

Maybe it was because I once said to Eve that I know she’s just messing with him because she can’t have the real Shadow boy ( yes I’m talking about you Az) - and he was right behind me. She looked offended tho, so add her to the endless list of girls that want to fuck Azriel, yet he still choses the life of abstinence.

Okay uhmmm all the fighting stuff is actually way too easy for me which is why I’m mainly training with Liam or Garrick and not the other first (now second) years.

The food is awful and doesn’t get better the longer you eat it (pls Rhys I’m begging you, pull some strings and get me a care package).

Well other than that… I know you what you want me to talk about… The dragon who chose me.

Noctis.

What can I say - I or We were the talk of the month when he appeared during Threshing and chose me. Everything around me became black. I couldn’t see anything and then… two glowing red eyes appeared in front of me and he spoke. He spoke in my head.

‘I’ve been waiting for you.’

Then the darkness … vanished and there he was. An enormous black dragon. His scales are razor sharp spikes, his horns ( he has for of them) are so long, I could hold them while riding him. His teeth come close to the size of you Cassian. His tail ends in something that fades into a shadow… just like his wings. They have holes in them and the ends fade into shadows…

He wasn’t a normal black dragon I was sure of that.

Thanks to being a fae I got on top of his back and somehow managed to stay there during the flight.

I’m sure you heard all about the drama that went down afterwards.

He shouldn’t be here.

He’s supposed to stay a legend.

Is he even real?

How can he possible bond to someone?

Rhys.

He doesn’t just look like the Dragon Amren told us about. The one she saw when she first landed on this continent.

He IS that dragon.

And he’s a sarcastic bitch that doesn’t know when to stay out of my head or my business- you two would get along so well.

But he’s pretty cool.

And he’s not screaming in my head rn to write this.

Well… and now to the other matter.

My…signet …

So there’s the one… everyone knows of… Shadow Wielding. That’s kinda obvious with how Noctis looks (and forces me to spend more time with Xaden, since we both have the same signet and he’s told to teach me).

But it’s just one of them… Rhys… I feel it. I feel the blood of the people around me. One time Rhi was bleeding and it just wouldn’t stop and I didn’t know what to do… I just wished it would stop. And then I felt it. I felt her blood running out of the cut on her arm and… I made it stop?

I know it sounds crazy but.. then there was this other time … I was just minding my own business during lunch and Eve had to sit down right in my eyesight and make out with Xaden… I got so annoyed… and just wanted it so end. I thought about blood running down her neck… and then… it started to run. Run out of her nose, down her mouth and…down her neck. She needed to go to the healer’s because it just wouldn’t stop.

Rhys.. what is wrong with me?

Noctis just tells me that he knew why he waited for me.

I know I should go to my teachers.. and learn how to control it.. but something tells me that I shouldn’t.

Oh and Rhys… His power… feels like yours.

Talk to you all later…

Nea.

With a sigh I put away my pen.

Shadows crawl around me and caress my face.

I smile and look at the male behind me.

“Did I wake you up?” I ask him.

“No… But I’m kind of offended our activities knocked me out more than they did to you.” He laughs and gets out of my bed. His lips touch my shoulder blade, right where Noctis marked me. His fingers trace the thin lines on my body, that run from the dragon on my back all over my body.

“They’re beautiful.” He mumbles.

Pfff obviously. Noctis sighs and I feel him rolling his eyes.

“Come back to bed now.” He says and walks backwards, dragging me with him.

#acotar headcanon #acotar x reader #acotar oc #acotar fanfiction #azriel x reader #azriel x oc #xaden x reader #xaden riorson #xaden x oc #fourth wing #fourth wing x reader #fourth wing fanfic

79 notes · View notes

delicatenightfury · 9 months

Text

Trust

2022 Month of Writing: Day 20

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader

Prompt: "It's hard to bury your past."

Word Count: 3k (this turned out longer than I was expecting)

Author's Note: please don't steal my work! you can choose to respond to the prompt as well, but don't steal my work

I'm not totally sold on this, but if you're interested in a part 2, please let me know!

I based this off the Netflix show Shadow and Bone (even though I liking the books better 😅) - just a heads up

y/n pressed a damp cloth against her arm where she had gotten a long cut. She winced slightly but focused on cleaning the wound before it got infected. She and the other crows had just barely survived an encounter with Pekka Rollins and his men in what, unfortunately, was an ambush. Her abilities as a Squaller did help some, but one of the Dime Lions sliced her arms, making it more painful to control wind. She had been lucky with her injuries and required far less attention, thus why she was tending to herself. Nina needed to be focused on Inej instead of her.

She tensed slightly when she heard the familiar sound of footsteps accompanied by the thump of a cane. They stopped somewhere behind her, letting silence fill the room for several minutes. She knew it was petty, but she wasn’t going to be the one to speak first. Several minutes later, he finally caved.

“We need to talk.”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” she said lowly.

“It doesn’t matter. We need to talk.”

“Yes, it does matter, Kaz.” She sent him a glare over her shoulder. “You almost got us killed tonight.”

“We have to cut off Rollins’ resources-”

“Do we? You’ve been content just doing simple business for the Crows Club. Then, all of a sudden, you take a mission to saints know where and somehow manage to cross Rollins in the process. Now, we have been framed for murder. And I wasn’t involved in any of it, since you left me behind, yet I still got dragged into this mess.”

She threw down the cloth and picked up a clean one to press firmly against her arm. She held back another wince, glad that the bleeding had seemed to stop for now.

“The mission was need to know.”

She glared at him.

“And I didn’t need to know?” Kaz didn’t respond, but he didn’t look the least bit apologetic. “I had to go into hiding, Kaz, because Rollins added my name to that bounty before you even stepped foot onto the boat that brought you all back to Ketterdam.”

“It was never my intention.”

y/n scoffed.

Kaz slowly came closer, but still kept his distance.

“We were sent to Ravka to locate the rumored Sun Summoner,” he said.

That made y/n pause. She had heard the rumors. All of Ketterdam had. Especially when the Fold expanded and wiped out several towns. The Sun Summoner was a Grisha who was able to manipulate light, who might be able to use their power to help tear down the Fold once and for all.

“And?” she asked.

“We found her. The Darkling used her power to expand the Fold. We had several run-ins with her, but she didn’t come back to Ketterdam with us. Our employer was looking for answers.”

“About the Sun Summoner?”

“Amongst other things.” She glanced at Kaz. He was looking at the far wall, but was only a few feet away from her now. Feeling her gaze, he looked down at her. “He took a particular interest in you.”

“Me?”

“He saw your wanted poster in the street and made an inquiry.”

“That’s not much to go off of, Kaz.”

“He’s a privateer. Rich. Seems to be from Ravka. His inquiry was brief, since his main focus was on the Sun Summoner, but he seemed determined.”

“Again, not completely helpful. This privateer have a name?”

“He called himself Sturmhond.” y/n froze. She knew Kaz was watching her for a reaction, but she couldn’t care. “You know him.”

y/n tossed the dirtied rag aside. She nodded slowly.

“I used to. It was a long time ago.”

“When?”

“Why do you care?”

“Because just hearing the name caused you to freeze up, y/n. I need to know if I can trust you to still function properly should we encounter him again.”

She looked at him.

“You’re worried about how well I’ll perform? Thanks for the vote of confidence, Kaz.” He continued to stare at her. She picked up clean bandages to begin wrapping her arm. “You don’t have to worry about it. It was a long time ago.”

“Not good enough.”

“Will you just leave it?”

“No.”

“Kaz-”

“y/n.”

“Drop it.”

“Tell me.”

She sighed.

“He’s my brother.”

There was a long beat of silence as Kaz took in her words.

“I wasn’t aware you still had family.”

She scoffed.

“As if I could call them that. I was the third child and therefore expendable. Being Grisha just gave them another reason to ignore me.”

She tightened the bandage she had put around her arm. It was a rough job, but it would hold until it could be properly looked at later. She began to clean up her supplies, sticking it in a corner for when it was needed again. As she moved, she caught a glimpse of Kaz. He was still looking at her, as if trying to find more answers.

“What?” she said. Her voice sounded more harsh than she meant it to.

“There’s more that you’re not telling me.”

y/n rolled her eyes.

“Just drop it, Kaz.”

“Not if you have information that will help us.”

“And how is my past going to help us with Pekka Rollins?”

“It will prove that I can trust you.”

y/n stopped. She set down the clothes she had been folding and looked at Kaz. His expression remained cold and hard. He rarely showed emotion as it was.

“You’re questioning my loyalty?” she asked. He simply stared at her, causing her to huff. “Thanks for that, Kaz. After all this time, I’m glad to know where we truly stand.”

She got up quickly and made her way to the door, passing by Kaz along the way.

“y/n-”

“Don’t. Just don’t.”

She hurried outside to avoid him seeing the hurt on her face.

The following week was rather eventful. The Crows had created quite a bit of chaos after releasing false Firepox at all of Pekka Rollins’ businesses. In the same night, Kaz got Rollins to lift the charges he had put on the Crows and admit that he was responsible for the crimes. Rollins had been arrested and taken to Hellgate.

During that time, Kaz and y/n had barely spoken to one another. They only spoke when necessary and even then, they did little to converse with one another. Jesper and Inej were quick to notice the difference. Even Nina and Wylan noticed but neither felt it was their place since they hadn’t known the Crows long.

y/n had been reading in her room when a sharp knock came. She stood and went to the door, finding Kaz on the other side.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

“Downstairs,” he said. “We have guests from Ravka.”

y/n sighed but nodded. She stepped around Kaz to make her way downstairs, letting him go to wake Wylan and Jesper.

“y/n?”

She looked up sharply at the familiar voice, her eyes widening.

“Zoya?”

The dark haired Squaller smiled widely. She moved forward to hug her.

“Saints, what are you doing here? We thought you were gone! Not even Baghra knew what happened.”

y/n looked down.

“Zoya-”

“And who is this?” A tall man approached them, a smile on his face.

“Tolya, this is y/n. Nikolai’s sister.”

Tolya’s smile grew.

“You’re Nikolai’s sister? It’s wonderful to finally meet you. I traveled with him for many years. He’s spoken of you often.”

y/n was going to respond when a glimpse of Kaz caught her eye. He was standing by the stairs, watching their interaction. Her shoulders deflated when his eyes narrowed ever so slightly. She knew immediately that he had caught at least part of their conversation. She looked back at Zoya.

“It’s a bit of a story,” she said. “One that can be shared later. I assume you are the guests Kaz told us about?”

“Yes. We have a mission for you.”

Soon, the Crows were seated in front of Zoya and Tolya, who handed them a document.

“The neshyenyer?” Nina said after they had explained the mission. “Sankta Neyar’s blade.”

“So you haven’t completely forgotten what you were taught at the Little Palace,” Zoya said with an almost taunting tone. “Just your loyalty to Ravka.”

y/n couldn’t help but feel like the statement was also directed at her.

“Ravka or Kirigan?” Nina countered. “It didn’t take him destroying a city for me to question my loyalty.”

“So, that we all know you two have history,” Jesper said, “what’s the payment for this particular job?”

“Name your price,” Tolya said. “It matters that much.”

“Is that the Lantsov family crest?” Wylan asked, looking over Nina’s shoulder at the paper.

“You know it is because it’s hideous.”

Zoya shot her a glare before glancing at y/n, who only smiled in amusement. She was never a huge fan of the Lantsov crest. To hear someone felt the same was a little refreshing.

Tolya looked at the group. “Prince Nikolai requests your services to retrieve and deliver the neshyenyer to Alina Starkov in East Ravka.”

“She’s returned?” Nina said.

“As has the Darkling,” Zoya replied. “With an indestructible army of shadow monsters.”

“Saints,” y/n muttered.

“I do not like the sound of that,” Jesper said.

“She needs the blade to kill them. It’s the only thing that might work.”

“Retrieve the blade, and the prince will pay you whatever you ask.” Tolya told them.

“But I like the sound of that,” Jesper said.

“I assume same goes for you?” Zoya asked Kaz.

“I’d welcome the chance to help your prince spend his country’s money.”

Nina quickly expressed how instead of kruge she wanted someone released from Hellgate. Zoya decided to poke fun at Nina for her attraction, but y/n nudged her arm to quiet her. Nina had told y/n of Matthias, the Fjerdan she had fallen for before she came to Ketterdam. She admired Nina’s determination to free him.

“The offer is the offer,” Tolya said. “And Prince Nikolai is a man of his word.”

“But we need to go now,” Zoya told them.

y/n looked to Kaz, who was scanning over them. His eyes lingered on her for a long moment before he pocketed the document.

“It’s settled,” he said. “We’re in.”

The group dispersed quickly after to begin preparing. y/n watching Kaz walk away. When he disappeared upstairs, she sighed.

“Well something’s going on with you two,” Tolya said suddenly.

“Excuse me?” y/n said.

“You and Brekker.”

“It’s nothing.”

Tolya hummed as if he didn’t believe her.

“I haven’t been here long, but I can sense the tension between you two.” He slid into the seat that Zoya had vacated and tilted his head at her. “What happened?”

Despite being much larger than her, he did not come across as intimidating. y/n felt herself relax.

“You said that Nik told you about me. Well, I’ve never talked about my family. But when Nik was in town as Sturmhond not long ago, he made inquiries about me. Kaz demanded answers I wasn’t ready to give.” She sighed. “He implied that he couldn’t trust me.”

Tolya nodded slowly.

“Have you tried talking to him?” he asked.

“Kaz is unbelievably stubborn.”

“And if Nikolai’s stories have revealed anything, I believe you are too.” y/n chuckled. “So why haven’t you told him?” y/n paused and looked at him. Tolya offered a small smile. “Perhaps the first step in receiving trust is showing it? Someone always has to take the first step.”

y/n watched Kaz from the doorway of his room. He was going through various maps and documents spread out over his desk. She knew that he knew she was there. Somehow he always knew. Nonetheless, she knocked on the doorframe.

“Yes?” Kaz said.

“We need to talk.”

He barely glanced at her.

“It’ll have to wait.”

“No, Kaz. We need to talk now. We can’t keep working like this and you know it.”

He huffed and looked at her as she stepped into the room, shutting the door behind her. He leaned back against his desk.

“What is it?” he asked. “In case you’ve already forgotten, we have to leave for Shu Han soon.”

“I haven’t forgotten. But if this plan works, you need to know the truth.”

“About?”

“Me.” She waited for him to make a quip or dismissal, but received none. So, she took a deep breath. “My real name is y/n Lantsov. I’m the third child of King Alexander and Queen Tatiana. I never made my society debut because once it was discovered that I was Grisha, I was taken to the Little Palace. From then on I was raised with the intent of identifying as Grisha, not a Lantsov.

“As a result, my parents basically forgot I existed. My eldest brother barely spoke to me as it was, so I was only truly close with my other brother. I wasn’t allowed to see him. Kirigan wanted there to be little to no reminders of our pasts so that we could separate ourselves from the otkazat’sya.”

She paused and looked outside. Ketterdam was bustling with activity, both legal and illegal, just as it always was. Ketterdam never slept.

“Early on, Nik and I would sneak out at night to meet. We were children and would rather play than train and learn. Nik loved to play pretend. We had found an old boat and we’d be sailors. I’d use my powers to steer us. He’d call himself Sturmhond with the distinction that he was a privateer, not a pirate.

“But we eventually got caught. I was disciplined by my instructors and put through more rigorous training. More so than some of the others. At first I thought it was because I had snuck out, but time went on and I was still pushed harder. My powers are no where near Zoya’s level. I doubt even an amplifier could get me there. Unfortunately, it took me too long to learn why that was.

“Kirigan wanted me pushed because of my background. He was… almost giddy about the fact that I was a Lantsov. I started noticing his power plays against my family. When he would visit the Grand Palace, I was among his small entourage of Grisha. He would give me special tasks when we visited, as if flaunting the fact that I was under his command instead of my parents.

“One day, while a group of us were traveling, we were attacked by Fjerdans. Drüskelle. They ambushed us, their goal to bring us to the Ice Court for a supposed trial. But we knew better so we fought back.” y/n took a deep breath to calm herself and force back the memories. “When I realized I was the last one standing, I used my powers to knock the remaining Fjerdans unconscious. I couldn’t kill them, despite the fact that they had just killed my friends.

“But as I stood there, I realized that I was alone. For the first time in years, I was by myself. I realized that there was nothing tying me down in that moment, so I fled. I went to the nearest port and stowed away. I ended up here and chose to make a new life for myself. One where no one knew who I was, where I would have more freedom than I could have imagined. Then I met you. And you know the rest.”

Silence fell over the room. y/n didn’t want to admit it but she was nervous how Kaz would react. She could feel him watching her, staring holes into her back.

After a minute, she felt the air shift and heard Kaz push himself off the desk. He slowly walked toward her, cane thumping at his side. She continued to stare outside even as he came to stand next to her.

“So Sturmhond is the prince,” he said.

y/n almost wanted to scoff - of course that was what he chose to say first - but she refrained.

“Yes. Tolya confirmed it for me.”

“And when he came to Ketterdam and inquired about you, it was because he thought you were dead.”

She shrugged.

“I suppose so. I don’t know what got reported to the king or Kirigan after the ambush. At some point, I stopped caring. It wasn’t my problem anymore.” She looked down. “Guess I was kidding myself. It’s hard to bury your past.”

Kaz huffed.

“Not if you bury it somewhere no one will ever look.”

“And I thought no one would look in Ketterdam,” y/n said, finally looking at him. “The Darkling never left Ravka and I had no idea where my brother was. I hadn’t seen him in years. I didn’t even know he had gone to serve in the military until he had been gone for three months.”

Kaz studied her for a long minute. y/n wished (not for the first time and certainly not the last) that she could read him.

“When we retrieve the neshyenyer and go to Ravka to deliver it, what will you do?” he asked. “I have no doubt we’ll run into your brother at some point.”

y/n sighed.

“I don’t know. I suppose I should talk to him at the very least. He deserves that.”

“And after?”

She shrugged.

“I’ll figure it out when I get to it.” She looked him in the eye. She knew that her answer probably left him unsatisfied but it was the best she could offer in the moment. “What about you?”

“Me?”

“Last week you said that my past would tell you whether or not you could trust me. Now you know. What’s your verdict?”

Kaz’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly as he scanned her over. She refused to look away. Finally, he nodded.

“I trust you,” he said. “You’ve got our backs.” He stepped back, breaking eye contact with her so that he could gather various things off his desk. “Now finish gathering what you need. We leave for Shu Han in an hour.”

#month of writing #writing prompt #kaz brekker #Kaz Brekker x reader #dirtyhands #bastard of the barrel #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #six of crows #grisha #grisha reader #kaz x reader #one shot #squaller reader #lantsov reader #tolya yul bataar #tolya is a relationship counselor

181 notes · View notes

seresinhangmanjake · 1 year

Text

Jealous Jake and the Other Sleepover Buddy

Jake “Hangman” Seresin x female!reader

Summary: After being fuck buddies for a while, you and Jake finally got together. A month into your relationship, he sees you chatting with some guy at the bar and doesn’t feel too great when he finds out who the guy is.

Warnings/Notes: jealousy, the beginning of smut, spelling mistakes, cursing. Thank you to @gigisimsonmars for providing the name of our other sleepover buddy. 18+ only, no minors

This is Part 2 of the Jealous Jake Series.

Part 1 Here

Words: 1425

The guy is just a little too good-looking…that is problem number one. Problem two is that Mr. Good-Looking’s hands have no issue touching what isn’t theirs to touch. The third problem: you, for whatever reason, have yet to look Jake's way since this dark-haired prick approached you.

You're all smiles for him—wide with bright teeth, and eyes shining in a display of pure, unmistakably genuine joy, and Jake hates it. He wants to run over and punch the guy’s nose in a new direction then wrap his fingers around your elbow and pull you away to some hidden corner to reassure himself that you’re his. He wants to look the brunet in the face and point out how he’s just a little bit shorter than Jake, with a little less muscle tone, narrower shoulders, and smaller hands. Jake internally scoffs. He’s pretty sure in an emergency situation this guy couldn’t even protect you. So why the fuck are you acting so interested? Why are you hanging onto his every word as if entertaining him is the key to your survival?

He knows he shouldn't be acting like the child you’ve called him out for being before, but he can't watch the guy run his fingers down the length of your arm without bile rising in his throat. He’s the one that is supposed to touch you and bring out that look on your face.

"Stop staring and take your shot,” Rooster says, tapping Jake on the shoulder with his cue stick, but to Jake it’s a muffled jumble of grumbly sounds trying to distract him from the nauseating scene thirty feet away, and he blocks them out. “Dude.” Rooster hits him a little harder. “Shot. Take it.”

Jake ignores him again, instead watching carefully for any more distance the guy may try to close between his body and yours. Jake blinks and when he opens his eyes, he swears that foot of space shortened to eleven inches.

The summer colors of Rooster’s hawaiian shirt invade Jake’s peripherals before two fingers are snapping in front of his face. Jake groans and swats Rooster’s hand away, his frown and the crease between his brows deepening. “What do you want?”

“She’s your girlfriend,” Rooster says. “You already—with some sort of magical powers that far surpass my humble comprehension—won her over.”

“What’s your point?”

“You need to chill out. Just because that guy looks like a Ken doll doesn’t mean–”

“He does not.”

Rooster gets another look at the guy then tilts his head in consideration, scratching at his hairline with an index finger. “He kind of does. He’s got the jawline,” he says, holding his hand under his chin to emphasize his point. “You know, that Greek god-like jawline? And the piercing blue eyes that can hypnotize a woman, and—”

“Would you shut up!”

Rooster laughs at his friend’s death glare and gives him a hefty pat on the back that jolts Jake's body forward. “All I'm saying is don’t stress about it. Like I said, you got her. I still don’t know how you did it because she is significantly better than you, but somehow you managed, right? So can you take your turn now?"

Your giggle rings throughout the room and Rooster’s head falls, knowing by that sound and that sound alone, the game is over.

Jake frowns again and holds out his cue stick in front of Rooster until he accepts it. "Absolutely not."

He stomps over to you, fingers clenched tight in fists that turn his knuckles pale, his chest rising and falling with the heavy breaths fueling his rage. When he’s close enough, you finally pull your eyes away to look at him. The smile on your face dims the fuming, red glow of his stare but it burns bright again when the guy follows your line of sight with a curious brow.

Your face falls when you realize how pissed he is, and the three of you stand there in a triangle of tense silence until Mr. Touchy cracks it with his irritating voice.

"You're Jake, right?” He asks. “I'm Tyler."

Jake snorts and crosses his arms, fully displaying the thickness of his biceps straining under the short sleeves of his shirt. "Is that supposed to mean something to me?"

"Jake!" you snap, your eyes blowing wide as a pink shade crawls up your cheeks.

Tyler chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck with the hand not holding his beer. "Uh, no, not particularly. I've heard a lot about you though.” The triangle is once again silent; so silent it wouldn't be a shock if the whole room could feel its awkwardness. “I should probably get back to my friends. It was nice to see you again, Y/N.”

“You too, Tyler,” you say, an apology written across your features.

Tyler gives you a quick side hug then turns to Jake and says, "Oh and hey man, sorry about the biting,” before retreating to the other side of the bar.

“The bi-–Wh—" Jake's eyes glance in the direction Tyler hurriedly ran off—and likely hid, based on Jake's behavior—then they shoot back at you. "That’s the guy?” Jake practically shouts when it catches up with him.

Heads swivel at his outburst and you groan, hopping down from your barstool and setting your drink on the counter. You take Jake’s hand in yours and lead him out the back door onto the darkened beach and out of sight. Leaning back against the outer wall of the bar, you cross your arms and raise a brow. “Why are you acting like this?”

“Y/N, you used to sleep with that guy!”

“And? More often than not this bar is littered with women you’ve slept with before.”

He pauses, lips parted to spew a quick retort that doesn’t come. Seconds pass, then he collects himself, clears his throat, and says “Ok, first,” He holds up his index finger and you roll your eyes, “that is an extreme exaggeration. And second, I haven’t slept with anyone other than you since we met. I’ve turned down every single woman that has come up to me and you’ve watched me do it for almost a year now.” He points to the door of the Hard Deck. “You were fucking that guy a month ago.”

“Jake, he’s happy for us.”

“Baby, no one who has ever fucked you would be happy to lose you to another guy.”

“It doesn’t matter.” You step across the sand to him and place your hand on his cheek. “I let him go the second you told me you wanted to be with me. Why do you think that is?"

He sighs, soothed by your touch, and wraps his fingers around your wrist. His lips press to your palm before he yanks you forward. Your chests slam together and he kisses you with your next breath, nibbling and sucking on your bottom lip as he walks you backwards until your back hits the wall of the bar again.

"Jake-–"

“Turn around," he whispers. With his hands on your waist, he starts to twist your body and you allow it without the slightest hesitation.

You brace yourself against the wall as he pulls your dress up over your ass, the fabric bunching at your hips. He wraps the gathered cloth around his hand and makes a fist, pulling so tight it jerks your spine straight. You can feel him behind you; the warmth of his chest radiating through his shirt, hardened cock straining through his jeans as he grinds against your ass. The hand not holding your mess of a dress finds your chin and turns your head so he can kiss you again.

“I’m yours, Jake," you mumble through his kisses.

He smiles; runs his thumb over your bottom lip. “And I was worried I was going to have to remind you.”

You shake your head with a smirk. “I’m well aware of who my man is.”

“Good." He pushes you forward, your hands shooting out, smacking on the wall to hold you up. The distinct clanking of his belt buckle releasing echoes over the waves of sea meeting shore, then he leans forward, his breathy words brushing against your ear. "I’m still going to fuck you like you forgot, though," he says with a sharp smack to your ass.

You yelp at the unexpectedness of it but the sound quickly fades into giggles.

“Louder, sweetheart. We need Tucker to hear.”

“Tyler.”

He groans. “Whatever.” Then with one strong thrust of his hips, he's inside you.

-----

join my taglist

tags: @marvel-ousnesss @thespeeder @nobody7102 @marrianena @fangirlingoverfangirls @blue-aconite @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @dempy @chaoticassidy @alana4610 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @dracosluvbot @smoothdogsgirl @smit41 @wkndwlff @rileyloves5 @gigisimsonmars @hangmanbrainrot @withakindheartx @teacupsandtopgun @himbos-on-ice @xoxabs88xox @happypopcornprincess @violyn20 @jordanturpen @buckymcu12 @jerseybagel @nagygreta @rintheemolion @coldmuffinbanditshoe

578 notes · View notes

weenisstuff · 1 month

Text

Affinity - Part 1 (Huskerdust)

Valentino wasn't at the studio, which in most cases would be a godsend but in today's case only made the day more exhausting.

The demon chose Vox to take care of the shoot, very different from his usual choice of Velvette. Anyone but Valentino otherwise would be amazing except that Vox was negligent when it came to breaks, as well as Angel's request to bring in physical force in any case where Angel felt it necessary. Ultimately leading to Angel getting way more roughed up than he originally expected when walking into the studio that day.

He finds himself waiting in the waiting area of the studio once all is said and done, his legs are sore to a point walking makes him tremble and shake. Better yet it's raining more than it has in months leaving him trapped inside as he calls Vaggie to ask for a ride.

“Hello?” she says, finally picking up after the sixth ring.

“Hey toots I need a ride again from the studio” Angel says his usual confident manner of speaking falling flat as his throat is also bruised, he prays Vaggie can't hear it from the other side of the phone.

There's a shuffle and a background voice that he presumes is Charlie. “Husk will be there in a bit”

“What?!” He exclaims “What happened to the car?” It had only been once but he was sure the last time he called for a ride they sent over a black mustang, incredibly impressive for what the hotel's financial state was currently in.

“Angel that was a rental, Husk is coming for you just stay where you are '' She says, her tone is exhausted. Whatever, at least he didn't have to walk alone in the streets, he wasn't in the mood for fighting off any pervs. He hung up swiftly no longer having the motivating to argue further, the rain was only falling harder.

Husk was used to being ordered around regularly, he worked for Alastor long enough to realize that not doing so was only more work than doing the task itself. So even though his hangover made him sluggish and impossibly tired he moved fast to retrieve Angel when Vaggie instructed him to.

He wasn't entirely bothered by the labor, spending any time with Angel was a treat. He ran his mouth sure but his quick wit and charismatic humor really helped him warm up to the idea of actually being his friend, and helping him out of any situation that involved Val was always extremely gratifying.

The rain was coming down especially hard, the wind a nuisance as Husk gripped the handle of his umbrella. The booze only helped a bit with warming his body, small shivers erupting every time a breeze hit his fur in a particular way. He held Angel's big puffer jacket close to his chest in an attempt to warm himself as best he could, his only solace the neon pink lights of Valentinos studio in a close distance.

Husk arrived soaked, shivering, and with Angel’s jacket in hand. Why he didn't put it on while traveling was a mystery to him.

“Jesus Husky, you really could have waited until the rain calmed down a bit” Angel commented, getting up from his seat in the waiting area and walking over to the soaking wet cat.

“Didn't wanna leave you here for longer than you needed to be” Husk admitted handing over Angel's dry jacket that somehow survived getting just as drenched as the cat before him. He couldn't help but feel like a nuisance for making him come and retrieve him.

“Stop that” His thoughts were interrupted at Husks annoyed tone, confused he asked. “Stop what?”

“You're overthinking, I came because I wanted to so don't go thinking that you're a bother” he sighed, making Angel wonder if he had always been so transparent or if Husk was simply all too perceptive. Regardless he smiled and with a pep in his step tugged on his jacket and hooked one of his six arms around Husks, making the cat smirk at his new attitude.

The rain was just as harsh as it had looked from inside the studio, Husk held on tight to keep the umbrella from flying out of his grasp. Angel's new pumps would definitely be ruined after this little trip.

Just as they were approaching the hotel the rain finally let up, Husk groaned at the irony.

“Thanks” Angel sighed from beside him, shivering from the harsh winds that invaded their space. Husk wished he had thought to bring a spare pair of Angels pants to shield his bare legs from the cold.

“No problem, '' he replied, pretending not to notice the small smile that lit up on the other demon's face. Angel liked to pretend he was mysterious but his true emotions were easier to read when he wasn't performing for an audience that wasn't there.

As the pair made it inside Angel gladly took his usual spot at the bar. “Hope you're up for a drink old man” he challenged excitedly.

“Gonna need it after being in the cold for that long,” Husk answered, pouring himself a glass of scotch and Angel's usual vodka.

Angel chuckled sweetly “With our luck we'll probably get a cold” Husk nodded in agreement, disregarding his hatred for being ill as thoughts of it all being worth it invaded his mind.

#huskerdust #angel dust #angel dust x husk #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanfiction #huskerdust fanfiction #angelhusk

43 notes · View notes

coltermorning · 7 months

Text

Of Love and Loss Ch. 2 (RDR2 Fanfic, Arthur Morgan x F!Reader, 18+)

Summary: Unsure in your decision to leave your parents, you fight your mind and your ailing body, doubting your next steps alongside the new stranger.

Author’s Notes: Chapter two of this one. This story is set a few years before the game, so the gang members will reflect that. There are descriptions of illness and injury in this chapter.

Tags: Arthur Morgan x reader, high honor Arthur Morgan, minor character death, loss of parents, blood and injury, grief/mourning, survivor guilt, strangers to lovers, slow burn, eventual smut, graphic depictions of violence

AO3 Link

Of Love and Loss

Two: Spiting Survival

Word count: 3408

Found a girl out on the trail this morning. Well, woman I should say, only she’d just lost her parents to a nasty fall off a cliff. She somehow survived it. And now she’s with me, more wild animal than woman, holding on best she can to survive.

Don’t know why I felt the need to play hero. Maybe Dutch and Hosea will know what to do with her, as it has become increasingly obvious I do not.

The stranger—Arthur—had a little brown book not so different from your father’s. He had just finished scribbling something in it when your restlessness gave way and you finally sat beside the fire he had built.

He stashed the book, eyeing you. “You wanna eat something? You got to be hungry.”

It was night, a long day of traveling behind you. It seemed the folks this man ran with were quicker than most caravans of that size—you hadn’t run into them yet.

You shook your head. As hungry as you were, you couldn’t eat. It would just come right back up.

“You need to eat,” he pushed. He didn’t understand it. Any of it. You were exhausted, starved, pained. Each of those things helped distract you when distraction was as precious as gold. It was taking all you had not to turn right back around and walk all the way you had come.

You just looked at him, long enough to make him shake his head at you in defeat. Good. You wanted to be left alone. The sole reason you had agreed to come with him was beginning to be lost on you with every step away from that godforsaken bridge.

The fire took your attention as the night air closed in. You and your parents had left Montana too late in the year, autumn biting at your heels all the way. It would snow soon. You felt a brief moment of panic, knowing it would bury their graves deep enough for them to be difficult to find. But there was the tree. You wouldn’t forget that worn pine.

A popping sound drew your eyes—the man had opened a can of food and was holding it out to you. You stared, refusing to take it. He sighed in annoyance and got up, walking to you and setting it down at your feet with more force than necessary. He held your gaze, a hard determination in his own. “Eat.” He didn’t wait to see if you would obey before turning toward his bedroll. He settled on top of it, punching his makeshift pillow too hard. “And get some rest. I ain’t slowing pace tomorrow.”

You were torn by that. Where did you go from here? When you did catch up to that caravan, you knew you couldn’t bear to stay with them. So it would be onto the next town. Then what? Struggle to make a living as a working girl or a maid? You were better off in the woods. You had been raised on a small homestead, hunting every meal, working with your hands. You didn’t know anything else. It was foolish to think some little life in a town would suit you. You wondered if you could make it to Nebraska somehow, but that journey would take weeks. Maybe months given the snow.

You knew what you really desired—what you had dreamed of since you were old enough to dream of such things. But your parents hadn’t wanted that life for you. Montana was too far behind you anyway.

At the thought of your parents, you shook off the longing within you and looked to the can of food at your feet. Just as with them, the least you could do was try. No matter how much it pained you.

You took the can—beans—and ate with held breath, forcing it down. It was misery, but you finished the whole thing then got up to resume your pacing. It kept the cold off and your relentless thoughts at bay.

You walked over to the man’s horse, a fine beast he called Boadicea. She was watchful but not spooky, keeping a close eye on your approach. You held out a hand to her. She reluctantly sniffed it. Being with her felt natural. Easy. The sole thing to feel that way. You gave her a few strokes against her broad neck then stepped away. Needing to move again. To shake off the constant dread within you, namely due to the remembrance of your own stallion. You were glad you hadn’t looked to see the state of him. You didn’t think you could stomach that. Though, that thought brought on the sharp image of your mother’s bent leg. You got all of two steps before you felt your stomach turn. The feeling reminded you of falling, and you were suddenly back there, the world upside down, everything you knew raining down.

You vomited every bit of your dinner, still heaving when there was nothing left to rid yourself of.

Morning came, and you had hardly slept. You could hardly function. Each thought was a broken pane of the present and the past shattering against each other. Speech, movement, survival, it was all lost. All to the truth of things.

“You all right back there?”

You were staring, dead eyed, at nothing as you rode. Hands clenched around the man’s coat so tight you couldn’t feel your fingers. You would fall if you let go. You would not fall again.

The man turned in your grip, throwing you a glance you couldn’t make out as you wouldn’t meet it.

“Ain’t gonna pass out on me are you?”

Endless questions. You longed for the day he would give up trying.

His horse trotted on, the sun rising higher and higher. It was hours before you heard voices. Wagons.

“Look who it is,” a man said. The confident voice caught your attention, and you met its owner with hesitant eyes. “And who’s this?”

“We got a passenger,” your savior responded. If that was what he could be called.

“So I heard.” The man turned his horse back to join the two of you. It was only when he got close that you could make out the look in his eye—curiosity. Too much of it. “Name’s Mac.”

You just stared.

“She ain’t much of a talker I’m afraid. Where’s Dutch? I need a word.”

The man nodded ahead. “Second from the front. Says we’ll be stopping soon.”

The mare picked up her pace below you, rounding the rearmost wagon. You were glad to be out from under the scrutiny of one pair of eyes, but soon came more. Many more. And with all the staring came the grounding present, your reality thrust upon you without warning. It was exhausting. You turned away, looking to the wood line, clinging to the stranger.

The horse eventually slowed. “Hi, Dutch.” You refused to look, to put a name to a face.

“Arthur. I was beginning to worry,” said a deep voice, one of the two men who had come down on the wagon yesterday.

“Oh, we managed just fine. You made good timing.”

“So we have. We’re stopping soon to water the horses, set up camp for the night. Hosea says there’s a good spot down the way.”

“Dry and warm,” said another voice. The older man. “It’ll do for now. And how’d you get on? I see you still have your friend there.”

“Indeed,” said the man you rode with. Arthur. Thought it felt wrong to call him that. “Like I said, we managed. I figured she could stay with us ‘til she figures out what she wants to do.”

“Sure,” the older man replied. “What’s one more?”

Arthur laughed. “You got that right.”

The proud voice, Dutch, spoke again. “Why don’t you ride on ahead Arthur, pick us out a good spot to land this makeshift menagerie? The girl can stay with us.”

You tightened your grip, hard enough for the man to take notice. You wouldn’t be left behind with these strangers.

“Uh, I think it’s probably best we both go.” He nodded toward you. “She’s still a little skittish.”

The man chuckled in response. “Whatever you say.”

You were being ridden away from the sound of all those creaking wagons before you so much as breathed again.

“So.” It was taking all your energy to listen. To keep the thought of broken boards and bodies out of your head. “What is your plan exactly? You staying with us?”

You shook your head. He of course couldn’t see it.

After a beat, the man sighed and reached for the satchel strapped across him. He pulled something out of it and passed it over his shoulder—your mother’s necklace. Your mind went numb with it, with the shine she always polished into it. She was so proud of that necklace that she never even wore it, too afraid to break it or lose it. How was it here?

“Figure these belong to you. Wouldn’t have taken them if I’d known you were-”

“Keep it.” You were shoving the necklace back in his hand, preventing him from pulling out some other item you couldn’t bear to look at. All you needed was the ledger. The rest was too painful to think about.

“Okay.” He seemed surprised. Let him be. You were too busy feeling regret curl within you again, your last words spoken no longer to your parents. It was a silly thing, but it felt like all you had to hold onto. So you clamped your mouth shut again, refusing to utter another word.

After less than twenty minutes, the man slowed his horse. “Here we are. This is a good spot.” You looked over his shoulder at the small clearing, a river running near it. It would be a good place to keep all those wagons and people. The thought had you retreating in on yourself, ready to bolt. You had nowhere else to go, but you considered it. Maybe they had an extra horse somewhere you could leave on. The idea of the next town certainly felt more doable than this. Than all those eyes on you, looking at the woman who had cheated death.

The man circled around a few times before letting his horse walk over to the water and drink. The river was small, barely a creek. You would normally appreciate it after all this travel, but you couldn’t think of that now. Now came a decision—what to do with yourself. For the rest of your life. And now was a better time than any being away from all those people. You slid off the horse, landing softly on your feet, preparing to speak. It was inevitable now. The man looked down at you, and you forced yourself to look up at him.

“I need to be going.”

He frowned, a more annoyed-looking thing than an upset one. “And you plan on, what, walking it from here?”

You looked to your feet, not knowing how to answer. It made him sigh, like he had to do it to regain his patience. “We’re headed down to Colorado, should be a little less than a month. Why not just come with us? We got plenty of food and shelter. It’ll be a lot easier on you.”

You were beginning to think he was a little ignorant. Either that or stubborn. He didn’t get it.

“No.”

He stared this time. Then, “No, huh? Well I’m sorry, but I can’t-”

“I have family. In Nebraska.”

He considered you. “That’s quite a trip.”

It wasn’t much farther than Colorado. You weren’t about to mention where in Nebraska though, that it would take more than a month.

He shook his head when you didn’t answer. “Just let them get here, get yourself settled for the night. Then you can decide whether you want to lose all this or not.”

Wrong choice of words. You’d already lost everything. You left him sitting there atop his horse, storming away toward the nearby trees. It was taking everything in you to keep your anger driving things, to keep the reason for your miserable circumstances at a distance.

You hid like a coward when the wagons pulled in, going deeper into the woods so as not to be confronted. It was probably ruining your chances of getting any help from these people, but you didn’t care. Surviving your innermost thoughts was all that was left. This was the only way to make things bearable.

The day went on, and your exhaustion from such little sleep the night before began to catch up to you. You had been hungry for a while now, the pain in your side throbbing for hours, but you ignored them both. The nearby river caught your attention instead.

You walked over to it, taking a glove off and brushing your fingers against the water. It was freezing. The shock of it made you suck in a breath, and the motion had your side stitching up in teeth-gritting pain. You knew then you had to tend to it or likely die of it.

You made to peel your coat away and winced. Not from the pain—it revealed blood underneath, dried against your shirt where it stuck out from under your vest. You hadn’t even noticed, too caught up in everything else to worry about yourself.

You reluctantly unbuttoned your vest, then your shirt. Pulled up your chemise. You braced yourself, reaching for where the pain was worst.

“Looks like you’re banged up pretty good there.”

You whipped around to the sound of the unfamiliar voice—the man from before. Mac? He was staring at your side, at the blood giving you away now that your coat wasn’t hiding it.

Panic rose up in your throat like bile, half-choking you with fear. You didn’t want him here. You couldn’t speak, couldn’t run. Just stood there staring at him.

“Easy there, I come in peace.” He held up his hands as if in surrender but stepped closer. Caging you in against the river. “You need to tend to whatever’s making you bleed like that.”

You knew it wasn’t bleeding anymore. Each subtle movement of breath against your ribs revealed dried, cracked blood. But the wound would reopen if this man got any closer, for you would be sprinting away from him any second.

“Mac, leave the woman alone.” This from the lone voice you were familiar with. Arthur. Come to rescue you a second time. He walked out of the woods and set a hand on the other man’s shoulder, stopping his approach.

“I weren’t doing nothing but trying to help. Look at her.”

Arthur’s eyes landed on you, on your side all bloodied. They narrowed. You fought the urge to run again.

“Go back in camp, would you?” he asked the other man, never taking his eyes off you. “You’re scaring her off.”

“You go back in camp,” the man shot back.

“Mac,” Arthur warned, looking him in the eye. There was no room for argument in his voice.

The other man scoffed and shoved Arthur’s hand away, grumbling under his breath as he turned back. You watched him go, breathing coming easier with his every step away. The stranger didn’t seem overly threatening. You just couldn’t bear to be near him. Near anyone for that matter, except, seemingly, for the one who had rescued you. Buried your parents. Ridden you all this way.

“Sorry about him,” he said, not coming any closer. Like he saw escape written across your face. “He means well.”

You didn’t reply. You couldn’t be so sure.

“That don’t look so good.” He pointed to the deep red staining your shirt. The motion drew your eyes to it, and where you were scared to look before, you did now. You shouldn’t have. You felt your stomach turn again.

Your entire side was black with one giant bruise. In the middle lay scraping lines of red leading to a cut so jagged it was a wonder the bleeding had stopped. You were accosted with memory, the reason behind such injury—falling, hitting the wagon, nearly passing out from the pain of it before you hit the ground.

The wagon had broken your fall.

“I can get someone to tend to that. Bring you some supplies.”

The words were meaningless. The wagon had kept you from death, and this mangled black and red mass was all you had to show for it. The only thing keeping you alive. You suddenly fell to your knees over the reality of it, feeling sickness push up your throat. Your empty stomach prevented anything from coming up, and you sat there heaving again, just as you had the night before.

“Wait right there. I’ll get help.”

“No,” you choked out.

“Don’t be stubborn. You need-”

“No.”

Your body gave up trying to expel what wasn’t there, and you looked over at the man, breaths coming in sharp and painful.

He shook his head at you. Then approached. “Let me see then.”

You moved back. He kept coming anyway. You didn’t have it in yourself to fight him. Too weakened by the idea that you would be with your parents now if it weren’t for this injury.

The man came over and pulled your shirt to the side, your bunched-up chemise higher.

“Shit.” You watched his face. The concern in his eyes. “This could have killed you.”

Maybe so. Maybe you’d been hoping for that.

“We gotta get this stitched up or the skin’ll die. It’s a wonder it ain’t infected already.”

All just words, white noise. Meaningless in the grand scheme of things. If it weren’t for this ugly wound, you’d be at peace now. You felt a sob escape you as you knelt even lower, pushing the man’s hands away. He let you down, and you curled in on yourself, overcome by it. If only you’d fallen differently. Been sitting with your parents instead of on the back. Then the wagon wouldn’t have been in the way of the one thing you longed so deeply for.

Sobs shook your shoulders, but no tears escaped. Like you’d cried them all away.

“I’m gonna go get something for that wound. Stay here.”

You didn’t have to be told. You didn’t even have it in you to move.

You were a mess of memory and pain when the man returned, his hand finding your shoulder and rolling you onto your back.

“This is going to hurt,” he said. Let it.

You kept your eyes shut tight, afraid of what you were letting him do. Mending you. But your fear and your grief and your agony were all bundled up so tightly within you that you stayed still.

You felt something wet push against the edges of the wound, drawing a sharp breath from you. The bruise was the worst part. Any higher and you would have shattered your ribs. But instead you were a beaten hull, nothing left underneath. Nothing that mattered.

The pressure got to be too much. You tried to push his hands away.

“Stay still,” he demanded. You pushed again. “This ain’t even the worst part. Either you let me do it, or I’ll go get someone else.”

That stopped your protests.

After another minute of brutal pressure, he let out a short breath, like he was steeling himself. You forced yourself to keep your eyes closed for what came next.

“I ain’t the best at this.”

His voice was smaller than you’d ever heard it. You didn’t need that.

“Just do it,” you hissed.

Then there was pain, sharp and pinpointed on the skin that was already so shredded. Then it threaded, and happened again, and soon you were shoving your fist in your mouth to have something to bite down on. You cried out. It was getting worse, pain on top of pain. Tumbling into the harshness of all that had happened, trauma of the mind colliding into your will. It was too much. All of it. Your felt your body finally begin to give up. You clung onto the feeling with all you had, praying for death to take you.

You called out to your parents with one final breath, darkness closing in on the pain and on your mind until you unraveled and were no more.

_________

Chapter three is here.

#arthur morgan #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan x female reader #high honor arthur morgan #rdr2 arthur morgan #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 #fanfic #writing

95 notes · View notes