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sleepless-in-starbucks · 3 years

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14 (bodyguard AU) and 46 (blind date) sounds fun,,, your choice of ship ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ( ˘ ³˘)♥

14. Bodyguard AU || 46. Blind date

Random choice generator got me creativisleep!

roman's a semi-popular actor- he's never really been to an awards show, and he's not been in That much, but he had a small but strong role in a real popular film and plenty of leading ones in lesser known movies. he's got enough of a following to be satisfied with himself, even if it isn't That huge of one

because of this, roman didn't take the possible dangers of his fame seriously... until he got jumped by one fan at a play in his hometown. he came out fine (he's always fine ;p) but it made him reconsider his choice to not have some sort of protection

he ends up hiring remy to be his bodyguard, a choice he Slightly starts regretting when he realizes remy, despite having excellent marks out of bodyguard school, is about as professional as a golden retriever

they take roman's food out of his fridge Whenever, borrow Way too many of his shirts (and roman hasn't seen his BMC 'boyf riends' hoodie since they got their hands on it), and is never in typical bodyguard wear (they wore a suit for the interview and never again)

but they also bring roman coffee (when did they get his regular figured out...?), talk to him like he's just a Person and not a celeb, and have yet to try and kill him themself so. roman's alright with them staying

(plus, is it so wrong if roman enjoys how they look? he deserves for a bit of an eye-candy sorta bodyguard, damnit, they're with him all the time after all)

remy's been with roman as his bodyguard for a few months when roman decides he cant just keep Lookin at a pretty person, he deserves to have a pretty person to kiss and cuddle with too!! so he pokes around for a bit, finds a non-homophobic service (he's pan, so he could Technically use a plain ol' straight service, but he refuses on gay principle), and uses it

idk how datin apps work but this one that im makin up is a blind match up app, which takes ur information and uses it to randomly pair u up with random accounts. the app keeps account info privated until After the first date has been gone on, to really maintain the 'blind match' aspect. the matched up people play a mini guessing game through the app about places they can go for a date until location and time is determined

roman likes the idea of the app mostly to keep his own identity secret as long as possible- he doesnt want people pickin his account Just bc he's a celeb, y'know?

the first couple of blind dates dont go well tho... most are nice people who roman just isn't compatible with, one was a straight woman who spent the entire date being Very homophobic despite roman's rainbow heart + pan flag pins, and someone who was clearly Too Much Of A Fan (remy had to physically pull them off of roman and help him escape the park before they could latch back on)

oh, did roman not mention? remy's been coming on all his dates with him

because of course they are! they need to protect roman! whether that's by eating dinner in the booth over or sitting two rows back at the cinema or awkwardly half-stalkin roman and his date while they walk about

so they're always there, to bring roman there and take him home, and listen when he complains about the bad matches and lament the almost-winners, and convince him he is a catch that needs to try again because eventually Someone will realize he really is too good to pass up

(remy always says that line in a weird way)

so he keeps trying... until roman has possibly the worst date ever

because he gets stood up. it's fifteen minutes past the scheduled date time, he's gotten no text explainin where they are, but he's sittin at the restaurant alone and starting to become rather upset by the pitying look the server gives him when he says he's still waitin on someone else before he orders

remy slides into the seat across from him at the 20 minute mark. shoots roman an apologetic smile that an outsider would mistake as a 'sorry im late' one when roman knows it's a 'sorry they didnt show' one

roman appreciates the gesture to save him, but he almost just wants to go home at this point. he's tired and bein stood up feels like Shit, actually, and he's about ready to call off the whole dating thing really, dramatic as that may be (like it's not his middle name)

but remy says smth about this place having really good sandwiches, and it's clear they're tryin so hard to help roman out here, even a little, and roman can't just dismiss that effort, so he picks up his menu again and orders smth and tries to ignore the way his face heats up just the slightest at the relieved smile remy flashes next

lunch with remy is great, actually, better than it would've been with whoever couldnt be bothered to show or apologize or Anything. remy even knows the way to an ice cream shop on the way home, sayin it's for roman's 'broken heart' as they pay for it

except, well... roman's heart isn't feelin so broken anymore

it's actually feeling pretty put together. really functional. functioning really fast. especially when roman's looking at remy. or when remy's lookin at roman. or when they smile. or when they laugh. or when they speak. or when they-

roman doesn't fall asleep until 2am that night, heart still racing a bit, screaming into his pillow a bit as he acknowledges he is wholly and totally head-over-heels for his bodyguard

he tells remy the next day he's done with dating for a bit, saying he's still upset over being stood up. he doesn't mention that it's also bc remy's ruined all other people for him

things try to fall back in routine from there, but it's a bit harder when roman's trying to not be so in love with someone who just works for him. and remy's definitely started pickin up on it too- they had asked him just last if he was okay, that he didn't seem as upset by remy takin his clothes anymore, and that didn't seem like him, was he getting sick?

the opposite, actually, absolutely nothing makes me feel better then seeing you walk around in my shirt or jacket or whatever else, please never stop and also kiss me?

roman just said he was tired

eventually... roman decides this can't keep going on. remy's giving him more weird looks these days, and roman is pretty sure being around remy so much without Any kisses is starting to cause brain decay (it's not, it's really not, remy always bein on his mind is just a side effect of.... pretti........). so, he takes matters into his own hands

admittedly, maybe firing remy wasn't the best way to go, given remy immediately demands to know why, what they did wrong, even asking if roman's being blackmailed into this

"blink once for yes, twice for no" remy asks, lowering the sunglasses they always have on to look directly at roman's eyes

roman doesn't blink for a full minute. he might not be breathing for that minute either. has he ever seen remy's eyes this close? has he ever seen them at all? they're such a brilliant shade of brown. roman could drown in them. he might be already

roman's pretty sure he started this conversation standing up, but maybe not, because when he finally blinks and remembers things outside of remy's eyes exist he's sitting down and remy looks extremely concerned

"okay... what's wrong, hun?" they ask, and oh no, they look so sad, and worried, and that's not good, roman should fix that right now, regardless of whatever he was doing before (he's forgotten)

"im gay" he responds intelligently. this will fix everything

remy, however, just looks confused. "yes?"

"for you" roman adds, helpfully, sure that Now remy will understand they're just really very pretty and nothing's wrong and if they feel bad still they should look in a mirror because then they'll be good again

now it's remy's turn to sit in silence, expression frozen in one of shock. they still havent put their sunglasses back on, so roman doesnt mind, bc this gives him more time to stare at remy's eyes

"you're having a breakdown because you're gay for me???" remy finally asks, expression unfreezing to look incredulous and a little hurt

roman returns a similar look. "im not having a breakdown!"

remy scoffs. "yeah, sure, right, that's why you suddenly froze and completely stopped breathing and minorly collapsed after i... look off my shades to look at you..." they suddenly break out in a smirk. "oh my gods, you're a gay disaster"

roman doesn't try to deny it, especially with the knowledge he apparently did stop breathing to admire remy's eyes. they have a point

"how long?"

"since that date you hijacked after i got stood up" roman admits. he finds it extraordinarily rude when remy starts laughing

...until they're pulling out their phone, hurriedly opening up the exact same dating app roman had been using, showing a log of all the dates they had planned- there's only one marked as having actually been attended

same date time and place of the one where roman had assumed he had been stood up

"you broke my heart!" roman says as remy puts away their phone, over-dramatically, not actually giving a damn, just feeling gay and a bit giddy at the thought remy hadnt gone to any of the other dates, just theirs

no longer worried quite as much about roman for the moment, remy's smirk just grows, smoothly moving from being crouched in front of roman to being set firmly in his lap, lazily brushing hair out of his eyes and wow was remy always this warm? and stunning? and perfect?

"i dunno babe... sounds more like i stole it" remy teases, movin from playing with roman's hair to cuppin his cheek, leaning in close and not even bothering to pretend to be looking at anything other than roman's lips. "which, yeah, bad bodyguard etiquette... i hope you can forgive me..."

roman doesn't need his words to answer that tease

#oops this got long ':) i got distracted by the gays... happy pride month djhbvcfjds #fanfic #creativisleep #ts roman #ts remy #nb!remy #the cryptid speaks #meri #yeah roman just. has an all out gay panic disaster moment right there #poor man 😔#also my characters keep ending up kissin in each other's laps can y'all tell im a touchstarved gay yet /hj

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rahafwabas · 4 years

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if u dont mind me asking, what was going to happen to steven in your comic au?

Oh a lot

(Btw my English isn’t that good)

But the main thing is Accepting or loving his gem side we see Steven always wanting to feel like a human and we don’t blame him the gems did so many awful things

So I planed to make a character to help him accept that part of him

And she is like alien plant half a red diamond ( it’s a long story lol ) anyway she love her gem side so much she haven’t get any troubles like Steven and she didn’t have the complex that she’s different because she heard about Steven ( I mean he is very famous the guy who saved the galaxy ) I want her to be a big dorky fangirl who looked up for Steven and wanted to learn from him and ask so many questions like so many uncomfortable questions to Steven about how he control his powers which led to Steven to get annoyed by her because he sees his past self when he was young and naive

Here some ideas I wanted to add

Steven has a fear using his powers after the meltdown

Green diamond and red diamond and talk about the gems origin

I want to show how the gems look like before, like for example green diamond is a computer A.I like she is the first one to be made and red dimond was the first gem to have body wish is not perfect

Aliens like different planet visits, one of the plants I was excited to make was a full water plant where sapphires and lapis’s come from

Aliens don’t like the gems ( I mean who doesn’t after all the gems took their planets and destroyed it)

Lapiss fusion, after what happened to our lapis she is damaged the idea of fusion scared her and what saved her is nice lapis (there was a kind of mission I planed where mean lapis and peridot got kidnapped by the bad guys) and the lapis’s went to save them and we got in big trouble which led to them to fuses into mega laps

I was planning to make a team up with Lars and Steven

And wanted to make a redmsion arc for white blue and yellow dimond

Fix the relationship between the diamonds and Steven ( that doesn’t mean Steven will be buddy buddy with them)

Diamonds fusion

Steven getting puffed ( yep in front of pearl and Connie )

Steven metes with his mother and talk about the lies and the truth and the secrets

Steven was having a complex about doing the same thing his mother did just disappeared and make someone else take he’s place but pink changes his mind which led to pink redemption arc

Here a first thought about what I wanted to him to look like before I changed my mind and thought of different look

Green dimond got a body by using the dimonds and Steven help ( forcefully )

A traitor in the group

OG Pearls meets her first real owner

Pink pearl standing out for herself and defense the other pearls ( there’s idea of someone stealing the pearls ) and spinal was their she was the one who inspired pink pearl to be stronger which led to spinal and pink pearl fusion

Steven instead of fearing his powers he is trying to control it in a healthy way which led to him to do cool power moves even if he fuse with the other gems

Smoky /rainbow 2.0 /sunstone / stevonnie getting pink

The team villains ?

Maya the last of her speeches, her planet got destroyed by white diamond

Keyan he is very close to the group and think of them like a family

Bria and eartha a name given by keyan

Bria used to be in love with the solder gem but unfortunately because the gem war that solder gem got shattered by blue diamond because she found out the solder gem wanted to be a crystal gem and she used one of Bria wopens to shatter her

Eartha was one of a scientists who work with yellow diamond but she was over shadowed by yellow and all her work and credit taking from her because she was only a small gem

Rinya also name given by keyan, rinya is portal gem that was a failed experiment by yellow and wanted her to be shattered but got saved by the group

And finally Peary also name given by keyan, Peary the first white dimond pearl which got replaced easily after pink diamond pearl accident

There’s more idk if I should continue this is already a long post 🤣

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kazuwhora · 3 years

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🎃 Leaving this emoji here so I know it's me

can I get a matchup?

I'm an INFP Gemini, 1.57m, and I use any pronouns, mostly they/them and she/her

I'm really pale and I wear glasses 24/7 bc without them I can only see things up to 10cm away from me.

my hair is wavy (the kind that if I don't style it correctly it will get straight but a frizzy kind of straight) and I keep changing it all the time.

I've had pink/blue hair, purple/blue, blonde ends, only pink, ginger for 2 years and now it's bright red. normally i like to let it grow and then cut it short, same with my bangs. so there's a lot of combinations here.

I love my hair and I take care of it obsessively, not only mine but my friend's too baji drop your hair care routine

what else... ?

you know that person that is in college but everyone assumes they're on middle school bc they look 13 and act like they're lost everyday everywhere like wth is going on? that's literally me everyone thinks I'm 13 I'm 19 people asked me if I'm a teacher's child too many times now it was getting annoying now being baby-faced is my personal joke

my body is??? hourglass shaped?? I guess?? I'm not thin enough to tell exactly

my back and shoulders are quite large bc I used to swim when I was little, now I take dance classes so all my body strength is in the lower part of my body ((bitch im thicc 😎😎

art I general is my hobbie, so dancing and singing and painting are my thing

I also used to take fighting classes when I was younger but my parents only took me for three months and then they stopped bc I would be wanting to fight god and the world

i still want to fight god and the world but now I don't have the tools to do so. how unfortunate.

I dress mostly in what makes me feel confortable? crop tops shorts and slippers every day. if not, hoodies and baggy pants. all black with rainbow socks.

about my personality I'm just-- idk?

bleh?

my whole childhood I was just the smart kid and now I'm not so I don't have a sense of personality.

my friends say that I have strong opinions and don't hold back

which is kinda true?

I do have a sense of justice and I will defend it until the end and somedays I will step up and defend them with words and physically if I have to.

but most of the time i just don't have a filter

most of the time my Inside Outs are staring into space like 😐 and just letting everything happen. so will say something like "Thats dumb. you can do better. I respect that you have a opinion. but I think your opinion is dumb" while having no expression in my face. I'll notice 3 seconds later how RUDE that was and start laughing bc omg that was mean.

other days I'm just a fleeing sunlight being excited about everything like a child would.

idk what else to say

my favorite avenger is natasha, I love genshin albedo my beloved rerun when, loona stan. lactose intolerant but I don't give a shit bc I love ice cream.

I feel like I talked so much but didn't say anything. cool. I'm awful at talking about myself but I tried.

bye 💜

ok so one of my best friends (probably my only friend ngl) is an infp and I feel like struggling with defining your personality is 100% an infp thing but u did a good job and ty for providing me with so much information!!!

im definitely matching you up with hanma idc if you love him or hate him this a ship I can get behind 👏🏻

first of all lets both take a moment to appreciate how fucking hot that man is like god fucking DAMN that first picture never fails to get me smfh

second of all. ur an infp. hanma is an entp. y'all have barely anything in common cognitively and its fucking AMAZING. I live for infp (and also intp for u intps there) and entp ships because the way that us entp's are in nature is completely opposite from an infp, while still sharing the perception function that allows both types to understand each other to some extent that just makes for a really fun match ok?? trust me on this.

he is obsessed with your individuality. as an extravert, not only does hanma benefit from your ability to access an introverted aspect that works to ease him from the burnout extraverts can face when they are unable to enable an introverted mindset every now and then, but he also learns to laugh both with you and at you- and genuinely. like you make him laugh. he thinks you're hilarious and as an entp who are typically known to be a little self obsessed, he didn't think it was possible to think anyone was hilarious except himself? he's like damn this girl is really like a kinder surprise.

he also really loves your art and finds that he's a little annoyed that he's not artistically inclined so he'll beg you to paint something for him and he wont stop until you do. just dont paint an ugly portrait of him on purpose or he's gonna get butthurt about it going on about how "damn is this how you see me?? </3 rip me I guess" and he wont shut up about it until you make it up to him and apologize for making a mean joke.

and then he just makes a joke towards you that's like 10x meaner and he WONT apologize for it. wallow in the revenge because its not going to end anytime soon.

lets be honest tho, when the two of you are together around others its a little overwhelming for people. hanma's entp-ness really brings out a side of you that leans on the extroverted side. you feed off his energy and the two of you are lowkey a little mean to people. but they deserve it, right? its their fault for being idiots. you enable each other hardcore here but its fine. they all know you're just being you and hanma is happy to have someone on his side.

you and hanma can fight god together btw <3 he's a little delulu

#matchup #this one is so funny to me because its so calm yet so chaotic

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seerofmike · 4 years

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i feel like a huge portion of kpop fans are gay fetishists attracted to the idea of quote unquote feminine men and thats why theres so much bullshit

YES okay. okay let me rant for a minute. let me preface this by saying i am NOT a kpop shipper at ALL. this is going to be long so i’ll put it under a’ ‘read more’ because i’ve been holding it in for TWO FUCKING YEARS BABY!

being mlm in boygroup kpop fandom is literally so exhausting. 99% of the people who ship real life human men from boygroups are fetishists and i will tell u why

obviously we all know of a ship in a fandom where the characters' personalities are twisted to fit the heteronormative view of "top" and "bottom" --one character is hypermasculine (top) and the other one is feminine (bottom). there are typical traits associated with both. the ‘top’ is scary or mean or angry or serious while the ‘bottom’ is emotional or bubbly or shy. while this is egregious, at least its fictional characters. their personalities can be simplified or exaggerated and it doesnt cause any real life harm.

im going to define what i think of as a fetishist: a non-mlm person who overly sexualizes gay men/men they think are gay/gay ships, and forces them into heteronormative roles for their own pleasure. its not even limited to cishet women. plenty of non-mlm lgbt people do this too and its like disheartening. so anyways

enter the kpop fandom

i may be incredibly biased here because one of the most affected members [of bts] is my favorite kpop boy, but oh god is the ‘personality change/simplification’ thing AWFUL here. i do not go out of my way to find fanart or see fanfic threads, but being in the bts fandom, u will inevitably see it and i REALLY wish i didnt

so anyways. my favorite boy ever is hoseok. he is sweet and hardworking and very passionate about dance and he can be serious when needed, but ultimately he tries to be very lighthearted and will consistently laugh or make jokes or do something funny when the other members feel uncomfortable or awkward (mostly during english-speaking interviews). he kisses the members on the cheek a lot/hugs them a lot/cuddles them a lot [this is important for later okay]

of course, theres a lot more to him because he is a multi-faceted real life human being, and i don’t know him personally, but that’s a general idea of what he’s like, okay?

SHIPPERS will have you think differently. some video got popular on youtube ""proving"" that hoseok is a sadist (which is just clips of him jokingly playfighting with the younger members), and the video depicts him as secretly mean and serious, and shippers will use that to say "hoseok is a total top!" and then most fanart or imagines or fanfic threads you see are top!hoseok, using this imagined 'hoseok is a sadistic dom' narrative to fuel their fiction, because SOMEONE has to be the top, so they twist him into this hypermasculine mean person (and probably feminize the 'bottom' of their ship but more on that later)

EXCEPT it is not just fiction. this narrative bleeds into REAL LIFE. you have new armys who dont know anything about the shipping scene, and yet somehow the narrative of hoseok being a secretly mean, sadistic person has already made its way into them. in real life, hoseok likes rainbows and wearing nail stickers and putting glitter in his hair. yet people in the fandom will say shit like "hoseok hates femininity" "hoseok would never wear [thing] because he's a dom"

sometimes on twitter you have ppl like me who say uh actually you guys are really weird and this is fetishy and in real life hoseok is very nice and not sadistic at all, you will UNDOUBTEDLY get comments like "omg hoseok isnt cute/nice when will yall learn he’s secretly like [x] and [x]". you could post a video of hoseok with a puppy titled "wow cute" and u will get like 2 clowns in ur comments going 'hoseok isnt CUTE hes a sadist’ . i wish i was joking but i am not. they will do this for EVERY action hoseok does. he cannot blink without people twisting it into a sexual thing

[also, side note: its funny that, since hoseok is one of the least popular members and therefore one of the least shipped members, he is often the odd man out among pairings, and is assigned 'the straight one' by default, and 9 times out of 10 people who assign him 'the straight one' do all this 'dom daddy hoseok' shit.

which just goes to show that this is indeed a matter of heteronormativity.]

so anyways arguably the most popular ship with hoseok is with yoongi, sope. this absolutely happens to other ships probably but im just using them as an example because i see it the most, being a hobi stan

yoongi is very calm and thoughtful and kind and sometimes appears to be cold/having a bad attitude but its just because of the way he speaks, which is very bluntly. again hes a multi faceted real human and i do not know him personally but thats generally what hes like.

god the fandom. treats him SO BAD. so horribly. he's shorter than hoseok. he's shorter than hoseok and people will exaggerate that literal 1 inch height difference so bad and people will turn his whole personality into shy and blushy and In Love With Hoseok, so in love with hoseok that ‘he gets sad’ when hoseok doesn’t kiss him/hug him/or whatever and IT BLEEDS INTO REAL LIFE.

ANY time hoseok or yoongi do ANYTHING together at ALL, people will ALWAYS push the narrative that hoseok, being the mean sadist he is, is 'hurting' yoongi for not returning his undying love or whatever. hoseok did a vlive where he made bracelets for all the members and he considered putting a cat charm on yoongi's but ultimately decided not to because he was having difficulty and oh my GOD sope stans twisted it into 'hoseok HATES yoongi, yoongi would have been so happy, he would have worn that all the time, hoseok isnt affectionate he hates being close with other people after all :(' which is LITERALLY not true because hoseok gives all his homies good night kisses but okay! whatever fits your narrative!

PEOPLE ACTUALLY HATE HOSEOK BECAUSE OF THIS. BECAUSE OF A SHIP. BECAUSE OF THE MANUFACTURED NARRATIVE PUSHED ONTO HIM BY FETISHISTS SO HE COULD FIT INTO THEIR HETERONORMATIVE ‘TOP’ ROLE. not to be all wahh wahh hoseok is one of the least popular members BUT THIS IS LITERALLY A CONTRIBUTING FACTOR.

everyone """headcanons""" hoseok to be a top so they will make him a MEAN HYPERMASCULINE person. everyone """headcanons""" yoongi as a bottom so they will make him a SOFT UWU HYPERFEMININE person. shippers are literally pigeonholing the two of them into fujoshi-esque roles for jack-off material.

anyways this all boils down to: gay fetishists will do anything, ANYTHING, to twist characters or real life fucking people to fit their heteronormative view of top and bottom. top=mean and masculine, bottom=soft and feminine. hoseok is a real life human being. yoongi is a real life human being. they both have real life human personalities, and yet shippers twist their personalities into the opposite to fit their narrative, to the point where nonshippers will genuinely view the two of them as something theyre not.

you have tons of armys that theorize that hoseok's happiness is just a mask he puts on to hide a cruel nature. on twitter. on youtube. in fanart and fanfiction. you have tons of armys that truly believe that, despite literally all the evidence, believe he hates being cute, he hates being happy, he hates the members, and hes secretly a dom daddy fuckboy who wants to bend yoongi over a table. hes a real life human being and fetishists doing their fetish thing has real life consequences.

the same is true for bottom!hoseok stans: they overexaggerate his more cutesy personality traits and he does have a 'feminine' figure i.e. he has a rly small waist but they will overexaggerate that as well and give him huge hips and its disgusting but dom!hoseok is far more frequent with far more devastating consequences so i used that as an example but they’re both bad.

people who """"headcanon"""" [like actually headcanon/firmly believe and not just joking or lighthearted] that members are gay will force these types of roles onto the members. if someone genuinely believes that like, yoongi is gay/bi/whatever, and then try to force this subby soft uwu persona onto him, they have no respect for gay people. they dont. gay people are simply objects for their fantasies. their view of gay people is so one-dimensional and so driven by fetishists’ ideas that its actually disheartening.

and god bitches will deadass be homophobic yet still ship real ass human idols. not just for bts specifically but all boygroup fandoms. sometimes when you search up an idol's name, [idol] gay will be trending--whether it be because of people saying "im gay for him" or whatever, and a LOT of cishet people will try 'clearing' the searches because being gay is bad or something. people normally ‘clear’ the searches if something like [idol fat] or [idol ugly] are trending, which im telling you so you know the context that people only clear the searches when bad things are happening.

[never forget that time 'jungkook gay' was trending and bitches were like "lets clear the searches!" but their pinned tweet said some shit like "sub jungkook x dom jimin coffee shop smut au thread 🌈". bitches also be like i cant be homophobic i ship taekook]

and hoseok and yoongi arent the only ones affected ! we could get into why namjoon and jin (another popular ship) are often assigned 'dad' and 'mom' respectively, or the fact that gay fetishists not only twist members' personalities to fit their ship narrative, but will also force tropes onto them i.e. taehyung/jungkook shippers who will literally demonize jimin and call him a slut or say that he's trying to 'get in the way of' of taekook or 'steal' taehyung/jungkook but thats a whole DIFFERENT rant baby! racism/asian fetishism is also definitely a present factor in all of this but this focus was primarily on gay fetishism and heteronormativity.

oh my god i could also get into the severe transphobia/trans fetishism in this fandom too but this post is already long enough as it is

tl dr: gay fetishists will fetishize real life people and it has actual real life effects and we should ban straight women from shipping mlm

#nobody is going to read this but i just needed to let it out man #fucking hate bts stans #fucking hate kpoppies #fuck u if ur not mlm like actually

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1-800-get-sherlocked · 3 years

Text

this was supposed to be an incorrect quote but it spiraled out of control

note: im american idk if yall brits have cuties (kidding im sure ur all cuties ok im sorry i couldnt resist) but i really had to alright pls be-ryllium ar-gon with me yes im sorry we are revisiting chem lads dont worry i will provide you translations/i will make it obvious also theres switching povs & im telling you ahead of time: the puns are very, very bad

also i wrote this at like late 5am un-beta-ed so please forgive me for any mistakes, i have 0.5 braincells left and i used up 0.279 for academic papers

kind of a crackfic btw

ok without further ado bc i ramble too much, other notes at the end:

*on Valentine’s Day*

John woke up to the sound of clinking and the faint sound of rustling of papers, the other side of the bed empty and cold. Ah, probably on that experiment again with those oranges he said were also a good pet name for me. What was it again? Right, cuties. A small smile appeared on John’s unshaven face. His hubby was too endearing for his own good sometimes.

In the kitchen, Sherlock paced back and forth, eyeing his failed experiment with disdain. Which he was totally worrying more about rather than whether his plan would work. Would John like these? Maybe he should have just gone with George’s advice and went to get some takeout Angelo’s like they often did during quarantine, but Sherlock wanted to make this special. He nervously adjusted his shirt collar, looking down to check that he was indeed wearing the purple shirt John loved so much. Apparently it was called the purple shirt of sex or something? The detective honestly had no idea how or why but that wasn’t important, what was important was John. John. He still couldn’t believe the brilliant, patient, and gorgeous army-doctor was....his husband. After the drunk night they had that one day, things got a bit heated and...well, you could say they definitely had a good time and cleared up their feelings for each other, much to Donovan’s chagrin who lost Scotland Yard’s bet by just a week. Mrs. Hudson was the winner, obviously.

Thank god for Mrs. Hudson’s and Gavin; he didn’t know what he would do without both of them giving him advice, though the DI wasn’t always pleased to be summoned in the middle of a case to help Sherlock out.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Sherlock scanned his surroundings to make sure everything was in place. Ah, he could now hear John about to step into the aisle, right on time. Quickly, Sherlock went back to pretending he was working on his experiment.

Just a few moments later, John padded into the kitchen, clean shaven, and as expected, looked at Sherlock pointedly. Of course, the detective was used to this and promptly ignored it, waiting for John to say something.

“Sherlock,” John said, tilting his head to the side a bit, “What is going on here? Why are there little sticky notes all over the place?”

Sherlock simply shrugged. “Why don’t you go take a look for yourself, John? I’m sure you would be able to find out that way.”

Sighing, John went back into the living room and perused the various bright colored sticky notes. Sherlock’s scratchy handwriting was on all of them, along with small drawings on some. Stepping closer, John took the first one off the wall above the couch and read the note out loud:

“Jawn, you’re small and angy, just like the bunch of Copper (Cu) Tellurium (Te) Iodine (I) Einstieinium (Es) we got the other day. Will you be my clemenvalentine?” Belatedly, John noticed a small orange drawn next to it, with a small >:[ face. Sherlock still wasn’t going to let him ever live it down, huh?

Shaking his head with the faintest hint of a smile crossing John’s expression, he moved on to the next one.

“John, the first time we met and dined at Angelo’s, I said girlfriends weren’t really my area. What I really wanted to say was that I was Gallium (Ga) Yttrium (Y), John. Obviously, I am married to my work and love of my life now, but would you still be my Valentine again, for the 11th time?” This one was written in rainbow ink, probably one of those pens Rosie got for Sherlock, insisting that he would have some use for them someday. Which he did, evidently.

As John picked up more and more notes strewn around the room, and read more and more puns, some of his favorites being, “Forget Hydrogen–you’re my number one element” and “Why don’t we go back to the bedroom and form a covalent bond ;) Or we could do it on the table, periodically” he didn’t know whether he should have laughed or cried. Maybe both. Some were so bad they were hilarious but the fact that they were that bad just made it more funny and endearing. Oh Sherlock, where would I bee without you? who would I be without you?

Oh god, John realized with horror. Sherlock’s terrible puns were rubbing off him and invading his thoughts. Typical of him, that bloody cute charismatic arse.

Finally, John reached the last one.

“John, I know I’m not very good with expressing my affection for you, but I want you to know, especially today, that Iodine (I) Lutetium (Lu) Vanadium (V) Uranium (U). You are my best friend, my lover, my husband, and my lifelong partner. You’ll always be my doctor and blogger at heart.” On the side, a small smiley face was drawn.

The entire time, John knew Sherlock’s eyes were on him, even though he pretended to be busy with his experiment. The doctor knew those telltale signs: tense shoulders coupled with a nervous biting of his lip. Watching closely, trying to gauge his reaction after reading all of them.

“Sherlock, were you trying to test my chemistry knowledge again? You know it’s been awhile since I’ve studied all this, right?”

Of course, Sherlock knew this. Sherlock always knew but was somehow still an oblivious idiot. My oblivious idiot, John thought affectionately.

“Well yes but I-” a beat. Sherlock took a deep breath. “Well, it’s always you making plans for Valentine’s, and I thought, maybe I should take charge this time, with something other than Angelo’s–don’t worry, I’ve already ordered takeout for dinner, I know you love their food, John, so I still did it. But I wanted to do more for you this time. Mrs. Hudson and Rosie agreed it would help me express myself better, so I tried it out. Um-” Sherlock stopped mid sentence as John walked up to him, and put a finger over those pouty lips.

“Sherlock, you amazing, adorable, gorgeous man, you’re so cute, you know that? And I did in fact notice your shirt–we will be making use of that later, obviously.” The detective gulped visibly. “But for the record, I want you to know that I know how much you love me, and you know how much I love you, so don’t ever feel bad about having trouble expressing it verbally; I can always tell through the small thoughtful gestures you do for me and the looks you throw my way when you think I can’t see. What you did for me today was very sweet, and it made my day–I will always cherish this memory on this Valentine’s, but I can assure you my love for you will never change no matter what, whether or not you do gestures like this for me. My love is of the same magnitude as yours to mine, and it never stops growing everyday”

Sherlock beamed, that charming crooked grin of his slowly spreading across his face, and John pulled him down for a kiss, both laughing against each other’s lips lightly as their mouths clumsily crashed together.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

#my posts #my post #my writing #johnlock #sherlock bbc #fics #my fics #johnlock fics #also this is technically my first fic? i wrote a small drabble for another fandom beforre but uh #yeah #so please forgive me if it's not very good #i would love comments! tell me about stuff you like/don't like!#i stayed up till 7 writing this oops #instead of writing analysis for my data project due tomorrow or technicallyt oday lmfao #anyways #i hope u enjoyed reading my brainrot #also 0.279 was not a mistake #i chose it on purpose #i didnt read through this after writing this so i apologize for any mistakes #i'll fix them tomorrow or somethng i mean techncally today #ajsadlkf anyways yea ok iim kinda scared but my 7am brain is shameless so here we go #oh no it is light outsde now oops #prob coulda come up wth better puns but like i said my braincells almost out of stock xD

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moonguilt · 4 years

Note

random klance and adashi headcanons? 🥺🤲

i have been meaning to put some grocery shopping headcanons out there… so here u go (plenty more beneath the cut as well):

-when keith and lance are falling in love and in their honeymoon phase with each other, they jump at the opportunity to go grocery shopping together because a) they wanna spend every moment with each other, and b) it’s domestic af and it makes them feel like they Have Something

-once they’ve been together a while, the novelty wears off and the laziness kicks in and they both try to find increasingly ridiculous ways to get the other person to go shopping without them

-keith usually goes for willful/feigned ignorance: “what kind of toothpaste did you say you wanted?” like 4 separate times, and then “idk they all look the same to me, i usually just grab whatever” and when lance inevitably goes on a tirade about the importance of his Very Specific brand and flavor, keith concludes with a “maybe you should buy it in person if you want to be sure you get the right one”

-lance’s tactic neglects logos and instead relies on pathos: “keeeith i am so tired” “keeeith my toes are still so cold from the walk home” “i promise i’ll go next time keith pleeeaase kosmo is in my lap and he’s so comfy look at him keith look. we are having a bonding moment keith dont interrupt us”

-when lance REALLY wants something Very Specific and is genuinely worried that keith will mess it up, he will give in to keith’s strategy and just go shopping himself, but 90% of the time keith is a Weak man and lance always gives him a big toothy grin and a kiss whenever he agrees so honestly you can’t blame him

-also it gives him a chance to restock his emergency midnight snack lunchables stash without lance giving him the “you are a grown man and my mamá gave me so many good recipes for us to try out and yet you choose to bring this under our roof” lecture (even though keith is sure that he bought 5 packs last time and only ate 3 of them but now their pantry is mysteriously devoid of lunchables, which means somebody in this house is lying about their disdain for lunchables)

-but ANYWAY sometimes they still actually do go to the store together just like old times and when they do:

-taking turns doing the thing where you run and put your weight on the back of the shopping cart and let it glide-(getting caught doing exactly that by an employee and being told off for it after they nearly knock over a chef boyardee can display)

-choosing an item on the list that they have no idea where to find & racing each other to see who can find it first

-“do you see this toothpaste keith. do you see this? can you see the name? can you read the flavor? you see how it says ‘for sensitive teeth’? do you see it?”-“considering you are practically shoving it down my throat, yes.”-“well then maybe your esophagus will be able to remember it for you next time you go shopping”

-keith grabbing the last pack of rainbow gold fish bc they are his favorite-toddler wanted those goldfish & starts crying-”ah shit fuck hey hey hey uhhh” cue keith turning a desperate look toward lance bc he Does Not Know how tf to handle small crying child-lance is like “dude, baby, sweetheart, my man, just give him the goldfish we can get the regular ones”-but keiths like?? bitch?? i got these first?? also im gay and these are my pride fish?? dont be homophobic-lance is about to argue with him abt it but then the kid’s mom gets involved and is like “how could you make my baby cry he’s just a kid let him have his goldfish dont be selfish”-you’ve activated Protective Lance mode-“um okay first of all, rude, keith got them first. second of all, this isnt even healthy for your kid. THIRD of all these are rainbow colored and keith is gay so maybe dont be homophobic??”-things escalate and keith and lance nearly throw down with karen and little jimmy in the snack aisle-they savor every last one of those fucking rainbow goldfish later that night, just out of pure gay spite

-lance spending several minutes inspecting individual broccoli stalks meticulously to make sure they buy only the very best-he narrows it down to two but keeps debating between them until keith comes up behind him and slumps against his back, wrapping his arms around lance’s waist and muttering something about how cold the produce aisle is-lance makes a snarky comment about keith being a whiny baby & keith retaliates by slipping his freezing fingers under lance’s shirt, prompting a startled yelp and giving keith the opportunity to pluck a broccoli stalk from lance’s hand and put it in the cart

-“okay, while we’re here, let’s grab a cucumber for the salad”-“gotcha, one cucumber coming right up–.. hey.. hey, keith, this one kinda looks like a–hehehe–hey keith, do you think i could–hnnkeehehe–do you think i could fit this one up–”-“oh my god”-“what do you say keith–you, me, this cucumber, a bottle of wine–”-“alright im getting on line.”-“wait wait babe im kidding come back let me put the cucumber in the cart”-“NO go get a different one, i am NOT letting that one anywhere near our salad”

-selfies with the local Stop & Shop robot. lance thinks it’s kind of creepy but keith thinks it’s cute and lance thinks that’s cute, so

-“lance we left the reusable bags in the car”-“quiznak. well that’s okay, we can just use plastic bags this one time and i’ll make sure we put them to good use at home so it’s not wastefu–”-“no. we paid money for our bags. we have to use them. i’ll be right back”-“keith we parked way down on the other side of the–oh my god KEITH WATCH OUT FOR THAT OLD LADY holy shit SLOW DOWN oh my god man”

-keith tries to sneak those storebought sugar cookies, you know the clear-boxed ones that they always put out front with holiday-colored frosting and sprinkles, into their cart-“keith what is with your obsession with processed food”-“it was all had to eat when i was living alone in the desert”---“baby that is very sad and you know i empathize with your tragic anime backstory but put those godawful abominations back or so help me”

-only, keith isn’t the only one who likes processed food

-yeah, another reason keith is so used to it is because even after he started living with shiro, he kept eating that junk because that’s all shiro ever ate too

-shiro is a slut for kraft mac & cheese

-this presents a problem for him and adam, because adam loves spicy food and loves to make spicy food for shiro to eat

-but shiro is a big baby, and due to his inability to cook and his subsequent reliance on kraft & campbell’s & top ramen, he basically has white people taste buds

-adam is scandalized when he learns this the hard way after finding shiro nearly in tears over his half-eaten serving of dum aloo

-adam promptly declares that shiro needs a culinary intervention and they have been working towards the recovery of his palate ever since

-shiro is a creature of habit though, and he will try to convince adam to let them buy kraft mac & cheese whenever they go to the store together (which is often because unlike keith and lance, they never got tired of it and they still consider it a romantic domestic activity to this day. they’re just gay like that)

-when keith and shiro have their “broganights” together they indulge in all their crappy processed comfort food, much to the consternation of lance and adam, who bond over their shared exasperation and begrudging affection for their respective partners

#klance #adashi #thank u for the ask i had fun with this hehe #sorry the klance ones are more extensive... i have a bit of a bias in case u havent noticed #headcanon #domestic #lavender letters #ask

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chimswae · 4 years

Text

BTS Caretaker CH20

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 4,714

- Author Note: I think i am going to change the time of my update, it would be around Sunday or Monday (MYT) , i am so busy with works :< and not to mention i have finished this fic since it is an old fic of mine ^^ so i dont have to worry about writing block ,(that answers my cliche writing, this was written in 2017 ) thank u for reading :(( idk that there are people reading this, but thank u <3

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Chapter 20

“WHAT THE HELL MIN YOONGI? YOU- OH GOD-ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?” Seul yelled as soon as they were inside Yoongi’s room. His eyes stared boringly into hers indicating how he was not affected by his earlier action even a bit.

Seul paced back and forth in front of Yoongi while raking her brain to make sense out of this. Her first curled up into a fist as she tried to contain her anger inside “YOU MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR CARELESS ACTION!” she grinded her teeth together with a dangerous glare at his way.

“Responsibility? What kind of responsibility?” his brows quirked in amusement and soon a devious smirk spread on his face. The tone of his voice was mocking her. Yoongi would never leave her alone, that’s for sure. He had gone through to this length just to ignore his feelings for Seul, yet it came to no avail. It was best to be himself, because after all that was his new year revolution.

“And it is not a careless action” he argued.

“THEN WHY ARE YOU KISSING ME WITHOUT MY PERMISSION? THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME! We still haven’t talked about the kiss that you stole from me before?” she was boiling inside, and he could see her cheeks were tainted red.

Yoongi cleared his throat “I don’t have the answers with me right now” the answer got Seul ticked off even more. Rude, Min Yoongi.

“Are you being serious? People don’t kiss just because they feel like it. You are crazy Min Yoongi!” she snorted.

“I swear I don’t have the answers with me right now. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY I KISS YOU!” Yoongi defended himself eyeing the younger girl intensely.

Seul had a disbelief look “YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY, AND YOU STILL KISS ME?”

“Need I to remind you... this thing started because of you. You were the one who sexually harassed me first, or can I say in polite way... You kissed me” he rolled his eyes.

“Right, I kissed you because I need to save my ass unlike you. You kissed me for what? Revenge? Or do you have feelings for me?” she rubbed her temple easing the tense on her forehead. To Seul, Min Yoongi is confusing as hell not that she could read through him. He was too mysterious. His blank expression was not helping at all, only add to the pain throbbed on her head.

Flustered Min Yoongi clenched his teeth together getting annoyed over Seul’s little interrogation “If I have feelings for you so what?” he snorted sarcastically.

“IT IS WRONG!”

“WHY IS IT WRONG? You out of all people have no right to question my feelings”

“BECAUSE WE DON’T EVEN KNOW EACH OTHER FOR GOD SAKE. WHY WOULD YOU LIKE SOMEONE LIKE ME AT FIRST PLACE”?

“I didn’t say I like you. I said If I have feelings for you which appear to be none” his words stabbed her heart making her glowered in annoyance. “Then good, because you are annoying me” she flailed her arms to her side with a soft huff.

Yoongi hissed under his sharp breath, letting the anger inside him to subside “Look, we really have to stop meeting like this” he murmured.

“You have to stop kissing me first, then we will stop meeting this way” she sassed.

“I told you I don’t have the answers to why I am kissing you god, why are you so pushy?” Yoongi deadpanned. Watching how persistent Seul was to get the answers to her equations, he did not want to give stupid reply just yet or else everything would turn upside down over night.

“I am not being pushy, I have the right to know. You are kissing the lips that owned by me not by someone else. It is only logical to question your motive. So, tell me Min Yoongi-ssi” Seul straightened her body as she built her confidence to look straight into his eyes “Are you making a move on me because if you do, I will reconsider it. That is if you ask nicely and being bluntly honest to me” she raised her brows waiting for Yoongi’s reply.

This girl really…Why am I getting cornered. Yoongi groaned in frustration.

“I am not making any move on you”

“Then, first explain the kiss” Seul was determined to settle this shit between her and Yoongi. The things had been circulating for months, and his unexplainable actions after the first mistake that she committed only bring more harm to her heart. She no longer wanted to live her life this way.

“Do you want me to kiss you again? Why are you intrigue by the kisses!” Seul clasped her hand over her mouth instantly upon afraid that Yoongi might make any move on her again. She was not ready to feel his lips hovering over hers again. That sinful mouth of his brings more harm than good.

He smirked unknowingly at her reaction, giving him an upper hand to win this mouth battle. Much to his surprise Seul caught up too soon when she fired him back “Just because you are a horrible kisser” she lied. Yoongi is a good kisser even better than her. She just did not want to admit to it because by admitting to her subconscious it simply mean she’s accepting his action.

And, it would be a bad move.

“What a foul mouth for such a tasty lip”

Her eyes rounded with sheer embarrassment. “Tell me or I am going to scream and let everyone know you are trying to take advantage on me” she threatened to cover up her embarrassment.

“You won’t dare”

“Don’t push me” her eyes now meeting his again into an intense staring competition. None of them wanted to back away since it will only taint their egos.

“Then do it” crossing his arm, he kept his gaze on her as she moved backward with a playful smirk before opening her mouth ready to scream. Pinching his eyebrows together, he looked displeased by her determination and he knew Seul would not back down that easily.

Yoongi hated the idea of attracting unnecessary attentions from the members outside considering the stunt he pulled in front of Taehyung and Hoseok moments ago. Seul is a real troublemaker. “SHUT IT BEFORE I KISS YOU AGAIN” scowling angrily, Yoongi made his way to where she stood.

“STAY AWAY OR I SCREAM!”

To her surprise, her empty threat put his stop at halt. Yoongi was standing still holding back his anger as he rubbed his hair making him 100 times sexier than he was.

“Fuck..Fine..You are different, it triggers my curiosity” she tilted her head demanded more answers from him only to receive a death glare from Yoongi. He continued nonetheless “The kiss is not just a kiss. I might.. I repeat, I might feel something else whenever you are around. Ugh fuck, ever since that day I couldn’t get you off my mind. I tried but the thought of you and the kiss that we shared was affecting me” he shoved his hand inside his pocket coolly. It sounded like he was professing his love for Seul, however he did not want to sound desperate and creepy.

A heavy lump on her throat made her breath hitched for a moment, as Seul responded changing the tone of her voice “You might, and it doesn’t mean anything right” she mentally screamed with the possibility of superstar Yoongi fall for her.

He glared “I made it clear earlier. I don’t know” Yoongi blurted out with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

“When will you know?” she chewed her lower lips nervously.

“Stop asking question! I DON’T KNOW”

“THAT IS WHY I AM ASKING DUH”

“This so-called talk is not working. Now, out you go” Yoongi motioned Seul to the door with his hand. Never in his life to feel this affected by a simple girl like Seul. Barely did nothing there only to tease him with her sassiness that equally good as him tainted his ego. Before he succumbed into this rainbow thoughts that he had for Seul, this girl must be push away from him for the time being.

Her dominant side was severe.

For the first time in his life, he was intimidated by a girl.

“Are you chasing me out?” she gasped dramatically.

Yoongi rolled his eyes, “I am so done with your shit” he turned her body facing the door as one of his hand twisted the door knob, lightly pushing the girl outside. Seul almost tripped on her own feet, however Taehyung encircled his arm around her waist swiftly making sure her face would not kiss the ground.

A loud slam from the door behind them made her eyes squeezed tight until Taehyung’s not so angelic voice but still angelic to her ears brought Seul out of her dreamy state “Are you alright? What happen to you and hyung inside?” he asked worriedly.

Seul balanced herself with the help of Taehyung and sighed heavily “I am fine. Thank you. Your hyung is not keen of having people inside his room, doesn’t he?” she chuckled nervously to ease the awkwardness between them.

“Mmm…. I think he can be pretty aggressive when it comes to protecting his personal space”

“Right..” she muttered weakly after using the last ounce of her energy fighting Yoongi, she felt her mouth dried from the dreadful banter she had. Thankfully, she was so close in finishing her task for the day. Seul wanted to leave as soon as possible. The presence of Bangtan’s members in the house were suffocating her. Neither Hoseok nor Taehyung dared to bring up the things that they witnessed earlier which was a good thing.

They should ask Yoongi but not her.

Seul was not in the right mood to digest anymore Min Yoongi issues in her mind.

“Are you sure hyung did nothing to you inside?” another angelic voice almost similar as Taehyung but only this guy had a soothing smile on his face. His smile alone helped to calm down her racing heart.

Seul returned his concern with a warm smile “Thank you Hoseok-ssi. Nothing happen so don’t worry” Hoseok nodded.

“Hoseok” he corrected before continued, “This formality makes me feel uncomfortable. By the way, I still have to thank you for taking care of me last time. Thank you, Seul-ah,” his friendly tone was so welcoming and Seul grew fond of Hoseok’s presence in the room.

“Don’t be, I really hope you feel much better Hoseok. You look pretty worn out that time. Don’t overwork yourself. My mother really flipped out upon hearing the news” Hoseok chuckled gleefully, pressing his lips together showing his gratitude once again. “Oh, can I continue doing my job? I had enough dramas to deal in one day so allow me to complete my job before I leave” she glanced at Taehyung and Hoseok as if seeking for their permission.

Taehyung finally broke his silence “I will do my own laundry so go straight to your last task” he suggested.

“Are you sure? I am paid to tend this job. That is not good idea Taehyung” she found herself calling his name a little too friendly and dropped the formality without she realized. Not to sound overly confident, by the end of the day everyone would make her call them by either their names or ‘oppa’. Therefore, instead of going through the same process all over again she would gladly do it to avoid any problems in the future.

He shook his head frantically with his cute signature smile once again taking her breath away. Why is he so unreal? Seul complimented mentally. She had decided to comply to Taehyung’s words and went straight to clean Jungkook’s room. The maknae shared it with no one but still the room was in huge mess.

Jungkook owned two computers and there is music equipment at one corner filling up the room. A small space for him to sleep had clothes scattered messily on it. Seul made a mental note to place a small laundry bag next time so the youngest of the group could store his dirty clothes inside it. She wondered if he even slept on the bed, it seemed to her Jungkook would be the type of guy whom fell asleep on his chair after some long dreary game sessions. After making sure Jungkook’s game controller were placed neatly on the table, Seul made her way straight to the kitchen.

Jimin told her in advance to not cook today since Jin and Jungkook would come back with groceries. The eldest man in the house insisted to cook them good food today therefore Seul took out the side dishes like kimchis prepared by her mother this morning into their fridge.

Smiling to herself, she was relieved to see everything was in order and squeaky clean. Seul decided to leave since she’s late to work already. Stood in the living room was Jimin with his stupid cute dorky smile, “Are you leaving already?” he whispered almost inaudible, yet she managed to catch it.

“Yes I have to get to work. I will see you around Jimin”

“Seul wait” Jimin pulled out a cute box from his pocket and handed it to her.

Confused, she took it hesitantly “What is this Jimin?”

“A Christmas present, I wanted to give it to you but I didn’t get to meet you..I hope you like it” he exclaimed shyly. Jimin put a lot of thought in purchasing the gift because knowing Seul, she might feel burdened by it. To see her beautiful smile as she admired the presents in her hand made this thing less awkward.

“Thank you.. I don’t know what to say. It is…wow..Thank you Jimin” her cheeks felt hot over this simple gesture by a guy like Jimin. Do not overthink, he is a nice guy. He did this because he feel indebted that I am cleaning their place. She assured herself to not get ahead of herself.

“Your welcome”

Human emotions are funny and can be pretty confusing. In his case, Jimin was unsure of himself. Did he do this to befriend Seul or for his personal gain? What was his personal gain again.

----------------

A day without phone meant the death to Seul. She thought she left it at home even though after a thorough search, it was nowhere to be found. She looked for it everywhere at her home and workplace, well except the boys’ place. Would it be possible that she dropped it there yesterday?

As much as she wanted to check her phone at Bangtan’s place, she feared the boys would be home at this time. Even though by having one of the members contact gave her an advantage, but she could not remember Jin’s number at all. How’s she going to contact him?

Groaning in frustration, Seul rested her chin on the table murmuring unclear protest in process. She screwed up big time. This was as frustrating as the night Mr JK left her hanging with the new year kiss. It had been a month since the incident, yet he’s nowhere to be seen.

She put a false hope on him.

Seul planned to confront him the next day after the incident, however to her dismay he did not show up like he usually does. She waited and waited until the shop was about to close, only to disappoint her even more. Shut it. Her main concern was supposed to be for her lost phone not the lost Mr JK.

The sound of the bell from the main door rung diverted her attention towards the next customer. She stood up getting ready to give a deep bow but instead she’s welcomed by the sight of familiar figure. The infamous Mr JK stood before her in his black sweater, black coated jeans and black snapback completing his fashion along with his signature black mask making him to appear like a fugitive.

Their eyes met, and it rendered her speechless. He lost so much weight in comparison to the last time they saw each other and for an odd reason her heart ached in response upon witnessing this. She had been missing him to be honest, however she tried not to overthink about it since it only pain her.

Jungkook took few slow steps towards Seul not breaking their eye contact, his feelings were raging inside. Day by day he wished to see Seul again just one more time to tell her how much he missed her. As if the world stopped for a moment, Seul found herself was drawn into Jungkook’s intense gaze.

She felt small and was a little conscious over the look that he gave her. Her heart pounded against her chest raging to come out by anytime soon. Within a second, Jungkook was standing in front of her like a perfect sculpture gazing down at her face making her squirm a little due to the intensity. His arms were soon wrapped securely around Seul tugging the shorter girl into his warm embrace.

Her lips agape in wonder, embracing her own thought. Seul small hand found her way to his chest, as she clutched onto it, burying her face in his chest. “I miss you” he murmured lowly. His hand moved up to her torso then, holding her in place at the waist as he took a moment to enjoy holding Seul in his arms.

Her eyes were brimming with tears, and it gave her a roller coaster feeling. Yes, she missed him. Yes, she was mad at him for leaving her just like that. Yes, she was happy to see him again. Yes, she was confused of herself.

How’s she going to survive 2017 if she failed to sort her own feelings?

Jungkook pulled away after a moment, running one of his hand to give a soft caress on her fluffy cheeks “I am sorry for disappearing. I should have come sooner. I was too caught up with my job, I couldn’t find time to see you” he confessed.

“Why..are you doing this to me. You left me without any words. Do you think that is funny” she gulped the heavy lump on her throats as she was aching to bawl her eyes out this instant.

“I really wanted to see you Seul, I am sorry for leaving you without any word. That night was overwhelming I pondered upon it hard these past few weeks. I started to question us” his whispers were genuine giving some sort of conformity to Seul.

Seul blinked her tears away, looking straight into Jungkook’s eyes “You cant just barge into someone’s life, make them feel special and then leave” she looked as if she would cry, shaking her head again as her lips quivered piteously.

Jungkook looked on her tears with eyes full of regret, he had hurt his woman, and this was not right the thing to do when it was started to fall to its own place. He glanced around the store making sure there was no one there since it was almost 2 in the morning, luck was on his side. There was another part time worker with her, to their sheer luck he was cleaning the kitchen behind leaving only the two of them there.

“I am not barging into your life just to make you feel special and then leave Seul. You are special and important to me. I want to make things real between us” he exclaimed while one of his free hand loosening the mask covering his face.

His determination really got him, and this was the perfect time to reveal himself to Seul. If he’s planning to take this thing to the next level, firstly he must unravel the secrets and started sharing it with her. This girl deserved the truth.

Daringly, he leaned forward, left hand stroking her cheeks lovingly as he finally pulled down his mask revealing his face to Seul. Her mind froze as soon as her eyes landed on Jungkook’s face trying to decipher the image once again. She could not bring herself to say this aloud even though she was confident it was the same person that she assumed it to be. Even without his makeup, she remembers the details on his face. From that perfect jawline aligned beautifully along with the scars near his cheekbone was the real evident to feed off her curiosity.

“Jungk-“ Jungkook didn’t need further encouragement as he reached for her face, caressing his thumbs over her pouty bottom lips, before locking her lips with his. Seul’s grip tightened on his shirt, allowing herself to melt into his kiss.

His tongue probing and stroking her inner warmth dizzying Seul. The kiss with Jungkook has always been so intense as if he’s pouring his heart and soul into it. Even though after learning the truth Mr JK was Jungkook all along, she couldn’t help but wonder how an introvert guy like him had the courage to make a move on a stranger especially a woman this way. He stepped out from his comfort zone just to convey his feelings.

Jungkook gentled his mouth, softly nuzzling her lips before finally pulling away. She stroked his neck, breathing softly against his lips as she opened her eyes once again meeting his sparkling gaze. Seul would never be tired staring into that innocent doe eyes.

“I am Jeon Jungkook, nice to meet you” his soft chuckle was adorable.

Seul still couldn’t believe that Mr JK is the Bangtan Sonyeondan’s Jungkook. Now that really messed up. Technically, she had a short so-called fling with one of his members, would it be bad to kiss two best friends at one time though she was still unclear with her own feeling for any of these guys?

“Jungkook…I think we need to talk” she threw him a worried glance caused the latter to shift uncomfortably. He despised that look, it meant he was about to get rejected. That was the sole reason why he was hesitated to reveal himself to Seul. He did not want to push her away from him. Due to his glamorous life, some people in his life included his best friend started to drift away from him because of his fans. Some fans could be a little too possessive making it hard for him to appear in one photo with his friends without hurting the other party.

Therefore, it was rare to see him being photographed with others other than his members. Jungkook would only appear in a group photo and in rare occasion he would post his personal selfie for the fans. Other than that, he lived his life under the radar.

“Jungkook…Seul…” the familiar voice caught them off the guard shifting their attention toward the individual who had a solemn face at the door step.

“Jimin hyung…” averting his gaze from meeting Seul, Jimin felt the anger bubbled up inside of him. Rather than anger, he would call it as jealousy. Seul face hardened as she cursed in her head not liking this thing a bit. Crossing her fingers, she hoped nothing bad happened today.

“How long have you been standing there?”

Jimin scoffed as a sign of disapproval “Long enough to witness your romantic adventure” the tone of his voice confused the latter.

“Hyung.. do you know Seul?”

His eyes fell on silent Seul, as he strutted slowly to their direction “She is our caretaker, Jungkook. Does Ji Seul even rings a bell in your head” Seul did not dare to look at Jimin knowing his nasty glare was basically ripping her sanity, full of hatred and anger.

Jungkook gasped “WHAT? SHE IS OUR CARETAKER?” his pitch raised an octave higher. “How can I not know this?” he mumbled to himself registering the information that he heard.

“Of course you don’t. She is sly as fuck. Alluring everyone into her own little world, making us liking her one by one” her head snapped, looking at Jimin with a disbelief look. His accusations were contradicting to his action toward her previously.

How can someone change so drastically?

What change him?

Bewildered Jungkook was alarmed by Jimin’s choice of words. The hyung that he knew would never use inappropriate words unless something ticked him off. In this situation, he did not know why Seul’s presence angered the older guy.

“The lips that you just kissed was the same lips that kissed Yoongi hyung” Jungkook face contorted in pain, everything that he heard today overwhelmed him.

Jungkook croaked softly “Hyung…what is this all about” he inquired.

“I heard from Tae and Hobi hyung. Yoongi hyung and Seul have kissed before and apparently it isn’t their first time” Seul felt tears in her eyes. What did she get herself into? The soft and sweet Jimin was no longer there.

“So Jungkook tell me, will you let yourself being fooled by a bitch like her”

“HYUNG! DON’T SAY THAT! She doesn’t even know my name and face until today! I made the move on her first”

“Does she not know you? Really Ji Seul?” Jimin chuckled bitterly.

“If I had known it is Jungkook, I would never get involved with him” Jungkook heart was stabbed by her words though he knew she didn’t mean it. She was hurting. It was crystal clear.

“All you woman says the same thing. Lies after lies”

“Tell me what do you want me to do Park Jimin! I don’t want to be dragged into your stupid world, I am doing this for my mother. My crappy luck brought me to you guys and it never stop since then. I wish for once everything works normally just the way it used to be. I live a decent life before all of you come into the picture. I made it clear that I wanted this relationship to be strictly professional. But you guys were pushing me to the edge leaving me no choice” her tears slipped. Jungkook watched her with a heavy heart and his urged to pull Seul into a hug topped his loyalty for Jimin.

“I learned to accept all of you. I made new friends from this, Jin is a good friend so does Namjoon. Yoongi is confusing but it never dawns on me to plot any mischievous plan to seduce him. I enjoyed Jungkook’s company because for once I have someone real to talk to instead of my family and best friend. I may not know Taehyung and Hoseok that well, but they make me feel welcomed and appreciated. And you Jimin…I thought we could be friend…Guess I am wrong” she choked on her own tears, tearing Jimin’s heart apart.

What have I done. Jimin clenched his fist.

“Seul…” Jungkook was about to utter something but was cut off by new presence in the room.

“You fucking screwed this up Park Jimin” Seul mustered her strength to look up searching for the source of the voice. Jungkook and Jimin followed her gaze to the welcoming sight few metres of them.

The squad is here. All of them.

Yoongi’s eyes flared up in anger, and his expression was unexplainable. Obviously, he was displeased to see his girl got hurt. Now, he’s referring her as his girl, this need an explanation. Stood beside him was calm Namjoon and Jin, throwing their sympathy glance at Seul. Not to mention, when their eyes collided with Jimin it turned into a hyena glare making the younger guy to shrink in fear and guilt.

On the other side was Taehyung with an unamused face, shaking his head mentally judging his best friend for taking such rash decision. He was not supposed to tell him about the kisses, he did not expect Jimin would act thing crazy.

To answer that question, the only possibility would be Jimin had a feeling for her.If that is the case, his action was an act of jealously.

“What are you guys doing here…” Seul grumbled.

Hoseok retorted “We heard everything. We are here to clear up the mess”

“And this is will be a long night. Pack up, you are coming with us” the leader ordered with a stern voice.

#btscaretaker #bts fluff #bts romance #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #btsfanfic #jungkook x oc #yoongi x oc #jimin x oc #taehyung x oc #jhope x oc #bts x oc #yoongi fluff #jungkook romance #jungkook fluff #bts idolau

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macklives · 4 years

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hey so this is gonna be a long-ish one. ive decided its been far too long since i did a session, and we did so many i can often forget what happened. i started in july and im pretty sure its been more than half a year now since this whole blog happened. and in that time, we’ve gone through 88 sessions and i want to know if i remember the relevant plot points and what we got up to in the last few sessions. a refresh/reminder if you would.

so i hereby commence my own little recap of act 5 because yeah no, its too much to do a recap of everything and i have andrew for that after every few acts. but i wanna refresh my mind on act 5 for now. so here we go.

1. alternia.. fucked up place. but its a place the trolls live on so what are we gonna do about it? overthrow the government? seems about right, lets do that with the next troll that gets introduced and if its not kanaya idk what andrew is doing by not having introduced the best troll yet. why the long wait? it was the second introduced? i honestly expected it to go in order when i first read act 5, because first we had karkat talk to jade which was the first new piece dialogue in the comic besides the main kids, but then we had kanaya with rose, which was followed by tavros, then terezi (iirc). so id assume we were following that order but nope karkat got fully introduced, then this random fucking juggalo called gamzee made its way into the comic. imagine my surprise.

2. theres been terminology throughout act 5, that i do not fucking know and will not remember and probably never will. like tf is a perigee again? i made a doc somewhere ill probably find it.

3. karkat’s introduction... short but very sweet. and by sweet i mean we got to know the depths of the angry edge lord. and by depths i mean karkat got angry at gamzee for typing in a way that he didnt like so he yapped like a chihuahua. nah, but seriously, i do like karkat tho, hes growing on me but only bc hes a bitch baby and his whole personality makes me want to mock him so thats the reason im not that annoyed and think hes funny, and the most harmless troll. even more so than tavros. and thats saying something. 7.5/10 bc im generous.

4. then gamzee... the high juggalo troll who has the worst typing quirk imo, i cannot for the life of me read it. but hes chill, i actually really like gamzee. hes funny and the least problematic as of right now. 8.5/10.

5. terezi’s introduction next i think. she likes playing as a lawyer with her stuffed dragons, ie by roleplay, shes blind, can see through licking, and she likes eating chalk, maybe its even nutritious. shes good. 9/10.

6. uhh in the process of these intros, there are teams being made? karkat joins gamzee and terezi in, i THINK, the red team?? bc terezi likes red?? could be wrong, i dont remember the teams except that its red/blue to represent sollux’s duality in those colors. terezi then tries recruiting AC but AC is like lol sorry i have to ask this friend of mine who has authority over me for some goddamn reason and terezi goes yuck tf i hate that guy................... yeah thats all we have on the teams. pretty sure sollux had smth to do with karkat about the making of the leaders, and they did the “i hate me” and the “no i hate me more than u hate u” or whatever the fuck that was. they got embarrassed afterwards and deleted their messages. im pretty sure they have no messages because everything ends up being mutually deleted so their logs are actually empty. ngl, kinda enjoyed their convos, made me appreciate their characters. i hope we get more because its good content. i also dont know what order this whole thing is in, who contacted who first? couldnt tell you. ill remember later on. and since im basing this off from memory alone, gotta deal with what i remember. uhhhh so yeah. we havent met all characters yet so the teams have not been officially decided but we got the bases, which is that.

7. god i found it, and the only thing im looking at right now is the terminology list i made and what the fuck?? what the fuck?? you miss a few weeks and suddenly the word nubslurping comes up and you forget what the fuck youre reading.

8. im PRETTY SURE aradia is seen after that whole team fiasco?? or its sollux... maybe. wait. its sollux, right. i just knew someone gets introduced mid way through is all. actually, someone gets introduced after every 20 pages. i have no idea. but ik aradia and sollux go hand in hand.

9. oh shit. OH SHIT! RIGHT! I REMEMBER! so this occurs in the latest session i did, and not the beginning of act 5, but AG and aradia team up, right?? and sollux fucking gets manipulated by them and ??? idk??? they make him find the game, reprogram it and then make him believe its going to end the world (which in hindsight is true, but anyways) so he refuses to play it which was AG’s plan all along so she steps up and becomes leader in his place. but aradia says sollux will still play the game no matter what, but she never went through with the plan for AG but it was apart of a prophecy? that sollux wouldnt be the leader at all? that he’d still play? but it had to go according to plan so it could succeed??? we just dont know why yet. anyways, point being, she still cares for sollux since she did it for him rather than for AG. and thats what i recall. god tf i forgot about that whole drama until writing down “sollux and aradia go hand in hand” which gave me violent flashbacks to the memory.

10. oh and id give aradia 9/10 and sollux 7/10. i do like sollux but if i put him higher than karkat, id get crucified. so im keeping them around the same.

11. man i really like sollux and aradia tho, i may have put him at 7, but i really like their dynamic and i really hope they make up and aradia explains herself about AG. because from one side it looks shitty. and while sollux is rude and never makes up his mind, he apologized to aradia after going off, and that was the only time ive seen him be sincere, so im pretty sure he cares for her to some extent. and i think its somewhat mutual? considering the whole “did it for him” thing. man, i see potential because i actually like both their characters. theyre well written. may not have the best personalities, but i appreciate well written characters and homestuck has the best ones ive seen in a while.

12. oh shit, hell yeah, the more i write, the more im connecting the dots and remembering. however, the more i write, the more i want to just make an analogy post but thats not for now. jesus christ its not all about analogies, mack, this is a recap. but.. how does andrew do it? to not go off track??? hard. telling ya.

13. anyways, didnt we break the fourth wall at some point and have the demon gods or whatever the fuck speak to us in third person for the first time in the comic, after having only gone into second person narrative, right after we were introduced to sollux and his “virus”? the uh, the phrase “the demon was already here” was said, or something along those lines. first line in homestuck to give me the creeps ngl and i appreciate it bc it gives me motivation to know what the fuck its about. its cool bc you have no idea where its going and it sure doesnt have anything to do with the current plot, since the trolls’ session/game doesnt have fucking demons so im curious as to what the fuck that was about. and if i really have to make a theory, i feel it has something to do with aradia’s voices in her head which also connect to the gods rose heard when she started disregarding rules and told dave to look at derse without listening to music bc it was as if he was purposely blocking away their calls. like holy shit, that gave me the shivers. while i do want to know more about wtf happens after act 4, trolls are taking priority right now. just like we did with the intermission. no discussing the kids unless necessary. treat this as its own separate comic. and THEN we can connect.

14. ANYWAYS, tavros’ intro???? that comes afterwards?? with the fiduspawn that made me gag a little on the inside? yep. remember that. fuck that lol. -1/10 but tavros himself is MAYBE a 6/10? i wish we explored his character more in his intro bc right now he just looks like a character made only to be a victim rather than have any depth and i feel thats robbing someone of their full potential. give me more personality andrew, rather than a quivering boy who falls prey to bitches. im expecting more throughout the comic honestly and i hope he gets growth so hes not looked as a “victim” but rather his own character. he is still sweet, and i like him because i want to protect him, but id rather have more info, you know what i mean?

15. oh hell. kanaya had a chainsaw at some point. that made me happy. and didnt she cut off tavros’ legs?? and he got robot ones? and some creepy dude was looking and we called him saggy tits bc hes sagittarius? right? neat. that did happen. pretty sure saggy tits is ACs friend that tells her what to do. the more u know. OH and they all have colored blood similar to their text colors lol. that i remember... so tavros has brown, terezi has blueish green, um. karkat has grey the loser. and apparently it forms a rainbow which is nice. rainbow is good.

16. i dont remember anything else actually

17. wait no i do. AG appeared. shes a petty bully. idk what to say about her. we didnt get that much, except that she hates tavros but is okay with aradia. she also looks like a bottle opener. actually, i think she teamed with aradia to gain leadership rather than to “be friends”. and while that is similar to how karkat did it, meaning the gain, the motivation and how they earned it is entirely different. kinda seeing a trend tho. the leaders of the red/blue teams are both characters who wanted the role, but never had it to begin with. only to win their way into the position. but rather than ask non-stop like karkat did, AG manipulated others so she could be successful. not too sure if she also used aradia for that, or is actually motivated to become friends since they were “past enemies” and she needed a rebound. pretty sure its somewhat both. while AG did mostly use aradia to speak with sollux, what she doesnt know is that aradia is a bad bitch who never even thought about AG and only followed through with the plan bc she had a plan of her own. i guess we’ll look into that later. i lowkey want to know their history.

18. OH AC!!! she appeared for a second as well. love her. shes amazing. 9.5/10. and you may ask yourself, why am i saying “i love this character” but none of them are 10/10?? weellllll its because, and i cant stress this enough, 10/10 belongs to kanaya, i dont make the rules. im waiting for her introduction, shes my favorite and its obvious. sorry.

19. oh huh seems i forgot about the term “lusus”. which.. is.. their parents but not really, its these fucking weird ass creatures that the trolls fought in a cave or something as a child. i dont fucking know. terezi hatched hers and it died? gamzee’s also died but his goat sea dad was never really there to begin with so while it is sad, its more sad that gamzee never saw him? um.. karkat killed his own by exploding his computer bc sollux said dont run the virus and karkat said u cant tell me what to do and did it anyways. so thats on him. but apparently theyre supposed to die, to become prototyped during the game, right? yeah. i remember now.

20. thats.. about it? idk anything else, nothing is coming back to me apart from the shit above. huh.... im surprised how quickly things do come back to you the moment you rant about the plot tho.... handy trick.

cool. neat. fun. this took me too long. but im glad i remember a little bit.

#i wanted to catch u all up on this #but ill most likely do a liveblog tmr bc i was bust today unfortunately apart from writing this out #bc this took priority for better understanding where i am rn #maaaannnn #writing wears me out #i love it #but its tiring the fucking bitch #so im in need for deep sleep #wish i could do more smh #welll #goodnight :)

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vanchlo · 4 years

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The Assistant /Chapter Twenty-Six, “Old Faces”

Catch up on reading or start from the beginning HERE! :-)

Thanks for reading! c:

SNEAKY PEEK TIMEEEEEEEEE!!!

Something inside of my chest falls and for the first time in weeks, my thoughts are flooded with her. And I’m worrying about her, missing her, and wanting to hear her voice. I’m feeling all of the things and thoughts I’ve done such a great job at suppressing for the last few weeks.

Because before, only the alcohol could, but I couldn’t do that anymore. I knew she’d be disappointed. And once that thought wormed its way into my brain, I couldn’t entertain it for more than a minute. And so I dumped out the bottles and threw them in the bin.

Now, I feel myself fill with regret at that because once again I want to drown the feelings.

Because I’m hurting thinking about all of the hurt and pain she’s feeling.

“Awww, my little baby on her first day of school!”

“Oh, would you stop?” I groan in annoyance. But I can’t get rid of the smile pinching my cheeks.

“You’re looking like a lawyer already, Boops!” Skye comments as I stop in front of her at the island. She sets down her Winnie the Pooh mug and just smiles at me. It’s a rare occurrence. “And don’t you start saying that I can’t call you that. I’d say it’s rather fitting for a day like this.”

“Fine. Only today you can call me that old nickname that’s been dead for decades,” I reply before looking down at my outfit. “I’m not too overdressed, am I?”

“No, I think you look very nice. And you should dress to impress, they say.”

“Mmmmhmm,” I respond, flattening the patterned long-sleeve blouse I wear. Black jeggings cover my lower half.

“Are you excited?” Skye’s question hits me as I reach for a glass from the cupboard. I watch the golden orange juice splash into it.

“Yeah, I really am. I know I’ve already been down this road, but I feel so much more confident and excited this time around.”

“Well that says something,” she replies and I nod at her answer. The slice of bread sinks into the toaster as I set down the jar of jam with my other hand.

I grab a plate and scoop the rest of the scrambled eggs onto it that Skye left for me. “I’m dying a girl’s hair rainbow today, so there’s my big bang,” she comments enthusiastically with her sky-blue eyes twinkling. I smile at the excitement in her voice.

It finally looks like we’ve found our callings, I think to myself. A second later, I almost cringe at myself, but at the same time, I’m grateful for the happy thought.

“So most of your classes are online?”

“Yeah, but I have this one that I have to go on campus for. It’s one of the important ones,” I reply before a bite of scrambled eggs passes my lips.

Ding!

Dragging my phone across the counter, I look at my lit-up screen. A new text appears on my screen to join the others.

Asher:

Good luck on your 1st day back!!! Hoping everything goes well and you get nice teachers!!! Take deep breaths!!! Dont forget to tell me how it went :)

Sophie (Boss):

Wishing you a great first day back, Becky! We’re all so proud of you and we can’t wait to see the great things you do! Good luck!

Robbie:

Proud of u for going back Ree. Keep ur chin up. I cant wait 2 hear all about it. Excited 2 hang out with u and dad this weekend back home. Love u sis.

Daddy:

Happy 1st day of school 2 my big 25 year old! I hope ur 1st day back is gr8 Boops. Good luck! Take ur time & ask ?s. Call when u get home. I want 2 hear how it went. Love u! xoxo

A smile creases my cheeks as I read the words. I hear his familiar voice inside of my head, and warmth radiates through my chest. It makes me ache for one of his hugs and forehead kisses. I swipe right on my Dad’s text and click on the space to enter my own text.

Thanks so much, Dad! I’m really excited, but nervous. I feel like people might know I’m the dropout… But luckily I only have only one face-to-face class, and the rest are online. I hope that you are feeling better. Let me know if you need anything. I can’t wait to see you this weekend! Love you, Daddy! Xoxoxoxo

The lecture hall is smaller than I remember, and less run down. Hmmm, maybe my experience is actually going to help me to not be so afraid and intimidated, I think to myself. After walking up several stairs, I choose an empty table in the middle of the hall. Students mill around talking and checking online course content and Snapchat. Their chatter fills my ears as I set down my violet backpack and sit down. I place my laptop in front of me, along with a fresh notebook, my planner, and my little bag of pens and pencils. As I boot up my new laptop, the seats around me fill up. It’s not long before the professor takes a seat at the table at the front. His graying hair is tied into a short pony at the back of his head. The class quiets down at his arrival, but there aren’t many of us in the cohort. Around 50 or so.

Looking up behind his horn-rimmed glasses, a smile sparks behind his thick gray beard. “Oh, don’t mind me. We still have a couple of minutes until class starts, and I’m sure this bloody computer will take that and longer to start up,” he quips, and my classmates and I reply with laughter. “If everybody’s here, we can at least start with introductions. Shall we?”

“I’m Professor Alcott and I’ll be your guide for Criminal Law this semester. It’s great to see a group of smiling faces eager to dive into the nastier side of law. I practiced full-time for around 25 years until I arrived at this university. I thought I’d like to guide young minds into the law world, and so here I am. I still practice occasionally when I’m not teaching. It fulfills my craving to be back in the courtroom when I’m not in the classroom. Now, who would like to go next?”

Maybe this won’t be so bad.

“It sounds like your first day couldn’t have gone better, Boops.”

“Yeah, I actually think you’re right, Dad,” I reply, sinking lower into the welcoming sheets of my bed.

“You don’t have to say it like I’m not usually right,” my dad jokes back with a weak laugh. My smile falls at that, wondering if I’ve ever heard a hearty chuckle absent from his voice.

“I-I’m not, don’t worry . . Are you feeling any better, or are you still having those um pains you were talking about?” I ask tentatively, worry and care sewn into my words.

“I’m okay. They come and go,” he replies softly with few words.

“Are you going to go to the doctor like I’ve been begging you?”

“Yes, Becky. I have an appointment for tomorrow morning. Just like I promised

you,” he replies with emphasis in his words. I try to find the fear in his words. But either he’s doing a great job of masking it, or it’s simply not there.

“But you cancelled the last one, Dad.”

“I didn’t mean to cancel it, Becky,” he sighs. “I made it and found it got in the way of work. I forgot to reschedule it. I’m sorry.”

“I know, Dad. I just want you to get looked at. I don’t want something to be wrong,” I say quietly, feeling the fear creep up my throat. But I try my hardest to push it back down, because I can’t let it in. I can’t worry about my Dad anymore than I already am. I have school now and my job. I just can’t.

“I know, sweetie, and neither do I. Everything’s going to be fine, my love. You needn’t worry,” my dad tells me in his soothing deep voice. The same voice that lulled me to sleep with bedtime stories, explained maths homework to me whilst I cried in frustration, and told me it was okay when I dropped out of law school. He’s always been there to tell me it’s going to be okay, and now I know I need to be the one telling him it’s going to be okay.

I just hope that I’m telling him the truth.

Madley looks just the same. But it doesn’t.

New shops have opened up. Old ones have closed down. New developments have sprung up. Patches of woods have been cut down. The city park has a new playset instead of the one I grew up on. My former primary school has a new addition. Roads were redone. New ones were made.

I made the drive easily, knowing it like the back of my hand by now.

But at the same time, it’s hard. Because I have this off feeling sitting heavy in the pit of my stomach. And I can’t name it, or make it go away. It’s been there all morning, and I can’t figure out how to get it to go away.

It grows as my footsteps sound on the sidewalk leading to the front door of the house I grew up in. Shoots of grass inch through new cracks in the cement. The daffodils wilt against the steps leading to the front door.

The feeling in my gut flares, making me stop. I take a second to look harder. The cream paint that’s defined my childhood home is peeling in places. The grass hasn’t been cut in a while. I can’t remember the last time I saw it long, and not neatly cut. Patches of prematurely fallen leaves scatter the usually clean walkway. The glass window panes on the top half of the door are smudged and dirty. I don’t get another second to look harder, because the front door opens and a smile waits for me.

Perhaps my favorite one.

“Hi, baby girl,” my dad coos, letting go of the door. It creaks before closing as I watch my dad pad down the steps and wrap me in a hug.

I exhale into my dad’s chest clad in one of his typical Nike jumpers. Letting go of my suitcase, my arms find their way around him by instinct.

“How was your trip?” he asks in his deep voice. His scruffy cheek falls onto the top of my head, and he holds me against his chest.

“Good, thanks. The usual,” I reply. I squeeze him and try not to notice how my arms go around him easier than the last time. I just try to find comfort in his familiar smell of the same laundry detergent he’s used for 30 years.

“Good. Robbie just got here. I’m finishing up lunch right now, it’s almost ready,” he informs me.

“Oh no, don’t leave Robbie around food cooking on an open flame,” I joke, feeling one of his large hands comb through the hair at the top of my head.

He laughs and mine echoes his. But I’m afraid that they’re both forced. Dad releases me from the cocoon-like hug, but not before planting a kiss on my forehead. The same kind of kiss he’s given me since the day I was born. Always the forehead.

“We better hustle then,” he quips, stepping to the side to pick up my violet suitcase. I smile at him and he mirrors it as he holds the door open for me.

“I think something’s burning!” I hear Robbie exclaim in a confused tone.

“How do you even survive on your own?” I answer, toeing off my shoes in the entryway. I push them to the side with my foot to sit on the red rug. Beside Dad’s white Nikes green from mowing the lawn. Robbie’s black vans.

“On microwavable ramen, hot pockets, cereal, and chicken nuggets. Duh,” Robbie replies, garnishing an eye roll from me. But he can’t see it.

The same brown plaid couch stares back at me a few feet away in the living room. My dad sets my suitcase down by the wooden stairs a few steps in front of me.

“You just stir it, you goon!” my dad tells Robbie, padding through the living room in his classic Levi jeans. “Did I teach you nothing when it came to cooking, or did you tune out that day?”

A Chelsea vs. Arsenal game plays softly on the telly. But its only viewer is the In-Fisherman magazine sloppily laid on the couch.

“No, I’m pretty sure I was stoned that day,” Robbie replies softly with a wry chuckle. My dad sighs and clucks his tongue at my brother.

“Any day now, Ree!” Robbie shouts to me. But I hardly hear him, because my thoughts are wound up in the uncharacteristic pill bottles I see on the side table. And the brochures that I can’t make out from this distance. I recognize a few as take-away. One has lots of words that I can’t read, but it makes my heart shrink regardless.

“Hey, everything alright?”

I look up and watch Robbie walk into the room. His pale skin the same shade as mine peeks out from the trendy holes in his blue jeans. He pushes his black button-down aside to pocket his hands. A familiar Marvel shirt peeks out from underneath.

Swallowing, my lips part, “Did Dad tell you what the doctor said?” I ask nervously, keeping my volume low so only he hears.

“No,” Robbie responds quietly. And I hear it in his voice. Because it’s the same thing I just heard in mine.

“Rob,” I mumble, looking him in the eyes. I feel something pass between us, and somehow I know that he’s thinking the same thing as me.

I look up at the ceiling, trying to will the tears away, but it never works. Because I’ve tried it so many times in the last few days as I worried why my dad didn’t tell me what his doctor said on Tuesday.

“Lunch will be ready in a few minutes. Why don’t you lot go and wash up?” my dad announces, and I nod automatically. But I know I can’t go upstairs and wash my hands in the sink that I have for the last 20 years. And that my dad does every day.

Before I know it, the fall sunshine is welcoming me back. I don’t hear the door close with a metallic smack. All I hear are soft footsteps and the sound of sobs leaving my lips. I blink and feel Robbie’s arms go around me.

“I’m scared, too,” he confesses, tears choking his words that echo my silent ones.

“I’m so afraid that he is, too,” I reveal into his neck that soon grows slick with my tears.

“Did you notice how he looks?” Robbie asks into the crown of my head, his lips moving against my hair. I feel his warm tears meet my scalp.

“Mmmhmm. He’s so pale. And he’s lost weight.”

“Yeah, and he tries not to show it, but he’s tired,” Robbie adds in. His chest shakes underneath me and I hear him hiccup from the crying. “I dunno if he’ll even eat. It looks like he hasn’t been recently. There’s like nothing in the fridge, Ree. We need to buy him groceries. It looks like he hasn’t left the house in days.”

All I can do is nod, and I do. Because the tears are too thick, and what am I even supposed to say? How do I put these terrible feelings into words, much less ones that make sense?

“I know, Ree, I know,” Robbie coos soothingly.

But somehow it brings me comfort to know that Robbie is feeling all of the same things and having all of the same thoughts as me. Stupid twin intuition or not, I just know. And at the same time, it makes my heart squeeze harder in pain.

“Kids, come on!” We hear our dad call from inside the house.

I leave Robbie’s arms and find his tear stricken face looking down at the ground. I brush the hair out of his eyes; the hair the same dark chocolate color as mine. His eyes the same ice blue as my own meet mine painfully. I swipe my finger under them to catch the tears. His fingers wrap around my hand and give it a squeeze.

“Let’s go eat lunch with our dad,” he mumbles, his voice still shaky.

I nod and squeeze it back. The same hand I’ve been holding ever since before I was born.

My partner in crime for life.

My twin.

“Go and splash cold water on your face, it’ll help. You can always say that I splashed soap in your eye.”

“Yeah, and how’s that going to sound if that happened to both of us?” he questions, pulling me by the hand into the house with a laugh. I make sure to close the door quietly before following him up the staircase. The sound of our dad’s whistling carries up the stairs and to my ears.

I savor it.

I never want to forget the first music I ever heard, and the one that never fails to calm me. Next to his soothing voice.

My daddy.

The rest of our day was better, but worrying about my dad was always at the back of everything. Silent, yet nagging. It interrupted all of the moments.

The laughing over a plate of home-cooked food.

The jokes and stories that passed the time of washing dishes.

The traditional walk around the block.

Our visit to the local library’s book sale.

Dad’s usual drive around town filling us in on everything we’ve missed.

So and so died.

She had a kid.

They got married.

They’re building this there.

That bloke went to jail.

It disrupted watching reruns of Doctor Who on BBC.

It returned after a cozy mid-day nap at dad’s elbow, strong as before.

It nagged at the back of my head when the phone would ring.

It sat in the circles of Robbie’s eyes when they locked with mine.

It filled the empty spaces between our conversations.

That question sat at the back of my head and in the pit of my stomach all day. But I couldn’t bring myself to ask it. Because I couldn’t confront the possibility of hearing the answer I dreaded most.

“Boy, you make one good pizza, baby girl,” my dad smiles as he stretches his arms to the ceiling.

I nod, slapping an automatic smile on my face. It doesn’t stay long when my eyes carry over to his plate holding the third slice he couldn’t eat. Another detail I noticed that’s unlike him. Because I can’t stop noticing them, and each one hurts more than the last.

Before I can stop it like all of the other times, my vision grows blurry. I feel my throat take after it and I couldn’t swallow if I tried. I lift my eyes over to Robbie across the small kitchen table, and it takes a second. But he feels me looking at him and hesitantly makes eye contact with me. He nods after a second. Watching the tears fill his eyes makes the first one fall from mine.

I sniffle out of habit and see my dad turn to look at me out of the corner of his eye. That parent hearing, that intuition. Heat rises to my cheeks and I hear my name leave his lips. Then he turns to look at Robbie and sighs.

“Dad, I can’t pretend anymore. I’m sorry, but I can’t. We can’t,” I say, my voice breaking at the beginning and staying that way. Tears shadow all of my words, and they only grow worse when I feel Robbie grab my hand under the table. “I can’t keep pretending that everything is okay because we know that it isn’t,” I finish, finally taking the next dreaded step. I look my father in the eyes and find in them the answer I’ve been searching for all day long.

His ice-blue eyes, the same color as mine and Robbie’s, stare back at me. They too are full of unspent tears, but it doesn’t last long. Soon they are falling down his cheeks stubbly with graying hair. His long, tan fingers comb through his hair the same shade as that of the hair on his children’s heads. Gray streaks speckled throughout fall from his fingers when he lets go. He clenches his hand into a fist that hits the table. Dad stares it before he lets it relax.

Looking back up, my heart lurches when his eyes reconnect with mine. Because I know what he’s going to say, and I don’t want to hear it.

“I have prostate cancer . . Stage 2. That’s all they know right now.”

Dropping Robbie’s hand, the kitchen chair moves back with a whine. I put one foot in front of the other before my hand is opening the door. My resolve falls when I reach the last cement step, and my legs can’t go any further. My butt lands on the step and I fall into myself. I feel the tears spill from my eyes and coat the legs of my jeans. Loud sobs leave my lips as my entire body shudders with each one.

No. No. No. No. No

No, not my daddy.

Why my daddy?

Why my daddy who had to put up with an awful wife for years?

Why my daddy who gave his children everything they wanted?

Why my daddy who gave so much to everybody else?

He gave so much and did so much and this happens to him.

No. Not him. It has to be some mistake.

I can’t lose my daddy.

I lost my grandpa and then Harry.

I can’t lose another person I love.

I can’t imagine not hearing his voice on the other side of the phone. Or not getting his hugs that seem to fix everything. Or hearing his whistling or god awful singing.

I can’t live without my dad.

Sniffling, my fingers search blindly for my phone. Finding it in my back pocket, I turn my head slightly to look through blurry eyes. Unlocking it, I press on the app I look for. My fingers race across the screen with each number. Then, the name inside of my head shows up on the screen.

Harry

My thumb wavers over the phone icon. I swallow and feel another tear hit my cheek. How is it that I haven’t heard your voice or seen your face in almost 9 months, and yet it’s the only one I want right now?

I close my eyes and feel my forehead return to my knees. Pressing a button, my phone locks with a clicking sound. My arms wrap around my knees pulled to my chest, and I feel every tear. And every thought.

Until minutes later when a pair of arms wrap around my shoulders and pull me into their chest. I let my head fall onto them as it shakes with a sob. And then another pair of arms wrap around us. I feel a kiss to my forehead before the stubbly cheek tickles the top of my head.

“I’m not going anywhere, kids. I s-still need to see you lot get married. I need to watch you kick ass and become a lawyer. And walk Ree down the aisle, and make sure Bee names his firstborn son after me,” my dad cries, pulling his two children into the confines of his trembling chest. Robbie and I laugh, and our dad’s weak one echoes our own. “I’m gonna fight this. I might need your help, but I’m not giving up that easily. Your old man’s not a woosy.”

Laughs surround our tears as I hold onto my dad and my brother. A large part of my small world.

“I’m not going anywhere, dad,” Robbie gets out with tear-soaked words.

“And neither am I, daddy,” I echo, nuzzling my head into the crook of his neck.

I peek my eyes open and find Robbie on the other side of my knees. His head is lying on dad’s other shoulder. He reaches a hand across and intertwines his free hand with the one not wrapped around our dad. Unspoken words pass between us. After a few seconds, I know that the words we just spoke we promised to not just our dad, but to each other.

We ask questions and he answers. He’s known for only a day or two. The appointment last Tuesday was for a checkup like he said. They were able to do the biopsy later in the day. We cry into each other, feeling the same fear and pain. Uncertainties sit in the air between us as the sun sets behind the oak trees in front of us. The scene in front of me couldn’t look any different from a night of my childhood.

More than anything, I wish I could go back to one of those days. Ice lollies on the front steps sitting on dad’s jiggling knee. Him trying to get me to laugh. By his fingers tickling my ribs. His face contorting into funny faces. Or his imitations of characters I watched on the telly. His wrinkles and gray hairs gone. As well as his cute little beer belly. Mom calling for me to get in the bath with Robbie from inside the house. The Rolling Stones playing on the radio inside. Sounds of neighbor kids mingling with the music, as well as dogs barking. But we stay there and watch the shades of the rainbow paint the sky.

Although I know that I can’t go back, I let myself sit in that safe memory for a moment longer. Because sitting on my dad’s strong, tan knee in that 4-year old moment, everything was okay. And I want to enjoy that for a few minutes longer before I have to return to reality. Before I have to start living in a reality where things won’t be okay for a while, because my daddy isn’t okay. And because of that, neither am I.

I don’t know when I will be again.

My footsteps echo on the tile floor. Each one makes a sound with its own name, like in the Dr. Seuss books my mum would read to me when I was a kid.

Plop.

Klopp.

Dopp.

“Would you bloody leave already? I’m sick of seeing your bleeding face,” a voice quips from behind me.

I turn to find Myles following me. He titters with a smirk covering his stubbly face.

“Oh, would ya shuddup?” I return with a shake of my head, combing my fingers through my hair, but not much hair greets them.

“I thought you were done putting in these late nights,” he comments, his steps echoing my own now.

Pushing open the door to the supply room, I step up to the copier. “Nah, I still have sum stuff t’ finish up. Gotta prep fer my case that starts Monday,” I answer him, punching in my code on the touch screen.

A long ‘ah’ leaves his lips as he rummages in something behind me. Probably knicking some more of the nice pens before they’re gone.

“Well, I’m not a workaholic like you, so I’m leaving work before 5 on a Friday,” he tells me, assuming that I care. I chuckle, shaking my head at his pompous words. The copier sounds back at me, and takes the paper away with a woosh. “Please don’t bloody sleep here again. I don’t wanna have to hear complaints from the cleaning staff. And I don’t wanna have to pay you more than I have to.”

“I pay meself, ya cheeky bastard,” I scoff, turning to find him grinning as he stands with a foot out the door.

But his smile falls and along with it comes a squeeze on the arm from him. “Really, Hare, if you need to sleepover here I don’t mind. I know it wasn’t a nice joke . . I’m glad to see you’re doing better, though. Meaning, not as many empty bottles in your bin,” Myles continues softly. My amused expression falls when the seriousness arrives in his tone. “Yeah, I noticed ‘em, mate. Glad they’re not there anymore. Whatever you’re doing, it’s working. Keep at it.”

All I know to do is nod. He returns it and I watch the back of his blonde head walk away. I sigh, picking up the stack of papers waiting on the tray. I grab the original and rummage in the drawers until I find a binder clip. I fasten the papers together as I take my time walking back to my office. It’s even a little quieter than a few minutes ago. When I glance at my watch, I see why. It’s 5 o’clock on the dot.

Myles is gone.

Amelia is too.

Mick’s office door is dark and closed.

So is Rory’s, to no surprise, because he probably went out for drinks with My.

Rose is still working hard behind her closed door that classical music trickles out of.

Pete nods at me as I pass him in the hallway with an empty mug. Probably on his way for a refill.

But another person is still here. I see him before he sees me, but when he does I follow him to the shiny metal sliding doors.

“Ya aren’t anxious t’ get a start on yer weekend like e’rybody else? Or did somethin’ in IT break an’ ya gotta fix it?” I ask, stepping onto the elevator.

“Not really. It’s supposed to rain all weekend, so what’s the fun in that?” Asher replies, stabbing a random button. By now, I know the drill.

Push a random button and we have that long to talk.

About her.

“Good ol’ Fall rainstorms,” I comment, and he nods silently.

I hum a tune as the elevator dings with each floor we pass. And he doesn’t say a word, and yet neither do I. Because the point of these secret meetings is for him to talk. And for the most part, I just listen. It’s a silent understanding by now, or so I think.

“Yer makin’ me nervous not sayin’ anythin’,” I say, trying to laugh and offset the awkwardness. But it doesn’t help. And neither does the distraught look on his face when he meets my eyes.

“I need to tell you something,” he confesses quietly.

“Well ya, tha’s kinda tha whole point o’ these secret elevator meetin’s,” I smile, trying again to liven up the atmosphere. But he doesn’t smile, or crack a joke.

The smile I was toting around falls, and my mind swarms with thoughts.

Scary ones.

Worrying ones.

Questions.

Worst-case scenarios.

“Asher, i-is Becks okay? Did something happen?” I hurry, the words tumbling from my lips.

“Yeah, she’s okay, Harry. I guess you could say that.”

“Well, ‘s she hurt? Did she get inna accident? Break a bone? What ‘s it?” I ask, question after question spilling out.

“No, none of that,” he answers, shaking his head emphatically. “She’s fine, physically.”

“Then what?!” I continue, prodding him for answers that he won’t give up.

But the last part of what he says gets me. It hints at what he’s about to say, and it doesn’t make me feel any better. It doesn’t pull a relieved sigh from my lips like I wish it could, but it’s not like that.

When the gleaming metal doors slide open on the first floor, nobody is waiting there. Asher doesn’t give me time to look if anybody is coming, because he presses another button. Now, I know it’s serious. Pushed another button for extra time. Something happened.

“Asher-.”

“She called me crying last night,” he begins. His voice is quiet and he sounds like he’s trying to keep the emotions out of it, but they’re heard in every word. “Her dad found out he has prostate cancer, and she’s a mess. I dunno how to help her, or if you could either. But I just hate seeing her in pain and upset,” he reveals, the words loaded and dark.

I feel my back hit the railing on the wall, but I didn’t know that I was backing up into it. Something inside of my chest falls and for the first time in weeks, my thoughts are flooded with her. And I’m worrying about her, missing her, and wanting to hear her voice. I’m feeling all of the things and thoughts I’ve done such a great job at suppressing for the last few weeks.

Now, I feel myself fill with regret at that because once again I want to drown the feelings.

Because I’m hurting thinking about all of the hurt and pain she’s feeling.

“Yeah, I know whatcha mean,” is all I can say, because how the fuck do I put these thoughts into proper words? “Did she say anythin’ else ‘bout his diagnosis? Stages? Surgery? Chemo?”

“It’s still early, she doesn’t know a lot yet. I guess nobody does. He only just told her and Robbie last weekend. She’s trying to figure out how to rearrange her life to help take care of him,” Asher explains. I nod because that’s what you do when you don’t know what to say.

I don’t get a chance to ask any more questions, because the doors slide open again. A red-headed gentleman steps off 17 and I decide to step on. Looking over my shoulder, I meet eyes with Asher. “Thank you, Asher . . I mean it.”

He nods and I return it before turning around and walking back to my office. Goodbyes past between Rose and I, her long blonde curls dancing on her shoulders. Thunder clouds boom overhead and seconds later, I hear the rain begin falling onto the skylights. It makes the sounds from another Dr. Seuss book.

Splatt.

Boom!

Dibble Dibble.

Dopp Dopp.

Country music pours from Pete’s office, bringing a confused smile to my face. But it only stays for a second, because my thoughts return to Becky. I sigh, twisting open my office door. I stop in my tracks when I hear my Fleetwood Mac ringtone filling my office.

But it stops, and only then do my feet awake. Rushing over to my desk, I drop the stack of copies next to my computer. Forgetting them and working on prep work for my case, I shuffle through the mess on my desk. I lift up papers. Move books. Toss pens aside. Rearrange folders and pads of paper. And then I find it. The screen is black as it’s cupped in my hand.

But in a matter of seconds, I awaken it and see who I missed a call from. The breath in my lungs stills and my breathing halts. My ass hits my chair with a sigh, and I wheel around to face the window. Angry storm clouds await me as rain falls hard against the foggy class. Tapping my temple with my finger, my thumb sits inches away from the screen. I debate whether to call the person back or not.

Why would I?

How can I?

Should I?

I don’t have to decide, because the voice of Stevie Nicks spills from my phone’s speakers. And the image of that person’s face fills my screen. Their smile. Their magical eyes. Without hesitation, I slide my thumb across the screen. And press it to my ear.

“Hullo?” I say slowly, barely loud enough to hear myself. Because I can’t believe it.

“Harry?” the voice replies. A question frames their familiar accent, but something else does too. Thick tears.

“Becks . . are ya okay, love?”

#the assistant #pa harry #harry styles #harry styles au #fanfiction #wattpad #fanfic #writing #harry #lawyer harry #lawyer au #harry au #one direction

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lizardl0ver43 · 5 years

Text

okay okay okay. with all the flood of inital backlash against wayward son, i didnt see anyone say “ur stupid if u like the book.” it was just everyone’s honest thoughts, and some people were upset.

and yet... people in the wayward sun tag now are so fucking condescending, saying “lol yall r stupid the book was amazing u cant expect it 2 b all fluff”... and the thing is no one was expecting that! lol. a lot of us were expecting the book to actually confront and work through shared trauma. we knew going in that simon was going to b depressed! and as someone who knows what thats like, i was hoping for a narrative that deals with all the bad parts while still offering some semblance of hope! thats not naive or stupid to desire, especially when SO MANY queer stories are angst ridden and tragic and hopeless. part of why i loved how carry on ended was because it recognized the fact that everything wouldnt be suddenly okay for them, but encouraged simon to “carry on” and offered hope that they’d be able to come out on the other side someday! you can understand why wayward son undermines that interpretation. and im sorry but no one wants a story where characters are put through endless trauma and arent allowed any space to heal, even if just in baby steps. instead we got a kind of oscillation between conflict and happy moments with no actual progress. and i think it was 100% right for people to criticize that. especially since, going in those first few hours, we didn’t realize there’s probably a third book in store! now its common knowledge in the tag, but reading wayward son without realizing it’s setting up a sequel till the very end? heartwrenching. really upsetting!! people are allowed to criticize media lmao it isn’t “negativity” or “hate”..... like i see bs about the tag being more “positive” now and im like... it’s because the people who were let down kind of left after sharing our thoughts?? some of us have loved and, lets be real, projected onto these characters for years since the first book came out. and i think it’s highly personal how reading wayward son will effect you. some people loved it, okay! but as someone with severe depression, who was going in ready to relate 2 simon and excited to see an emotional, healing arc for him... when i realized it wasn’t going to be like that i was devastated. it’s shitty to say that people who didnt like the book as much for these reasons are somehow the stupid ones who dont understand rainbow’s master plan and just need to trust her... like GOD can you stop talking over people who are making very fair points! especially when a lot of criticism also points to other aspects, mainly the weak plot and all the remaining loose ends. (which uhhh frustration at a dissatisfying ending isnt the same as being like “boo hoo cliffhanger”) it pisses me off insanely when people are in the tag like “u guys are wrong wayward son is good did u expect butterflies and rainbows?” like stfu just say you liked the book without the insinuation that people who disagree with u dont make fair points

#wayward son #wayward son spoilers #snowbaz #rant alert!#u can tell who is upset because they are used to pain and suffering for lgbt characters #and who is happy because they somehow think thats subversive lol

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madamsixx · 4 years

Text

Beyond The Leather Chapter: 5 Train Wreck At The End Of The Rainbow

Warnings:

Drug abuse

Sexual situation

For the next couple of days I had agreed to meet Nikki at the Diner by his home. We were actually getting along pretty well. I was also hanging out with his band members. They were really cool. Especially Tommy we really hit it off. But anyways back to Nikki. We told each other about our lives.

I told Nikki about my family, my mom being a respectable doctor and me being close with my sisters. I also told him I was Catholic and believed in God, and that I don't drink, smoke, or do any type of drugs. I let him know that I'm 15. But he wanted us to contiue hanging out. But I let him know as long as we're just friends because he's way to old for me.

He opened up to me about his home life. It was really sad how he grew up. It was dysfunction junction growing up for him. I really felt sorry for him. He has abandonment issues. He told me about his grandparents Tom and Nona raising him. And how he had a half sister named Cecei. I was happy at least he did have two people who loved him.

I finally gave him my number so he could call me. But I told him the hours to call. Yesterday he called and asked if he could take me out tonight because his band members and some friends were going out. I said sure why not. Tamara wasn't going to be home late. She was going to be with one of her guys. But she did leave me with Theresa (her assistant). And Theresa agreed to go out. She's 23 so she liked to have fun of course.

"Ok so Nikki's picking us up and we're going to stop at his place." I hung up the phone after talking to Nikki.

"Oh my God im so excited this is Motley fucking crue were talking about. These guys are bad asses. Ugh and Vince and Nikki I have to have one of them tonight." She smiled and I glared at her.

"Sorry maybe I'll go with Tommy and Vince." She giggled hesitantly and I still glared at her.

"What's the problem you like all of them?" She asked raising her hand.

"No I don't, but these guys are bad news and I don't want you getting hurt. I've heard some of the things that they have done to woman, and it is absolutely disturbing." I stared at her with worry.

I started to worry about going out tonight. I mean I don't party so why am I even going out with them. Plus I'm 15 and these guys are in their 20s.

"Maybe I shouldn't go, I think I'll call Nikki to cancel and just stick with meeting at the diner." I started Making my way back to the phone.

"Iman wait!" Theresa grabbed my hand as I was picking up the phone. "I promise I'll take care of you no matter what. If they try anything with you were outta there ok."

I didn't have time to object because the phone started ringing.

"Hello!"

"Hi miss Darlington there's a Nikki Sixx downstairs here for you."

"Alright thank you we're coming." I put down the phone. "He's here let's go."

I dressed in a tight green dress that really hugged my curves. Theresa curled my hair and I picked gold heels to put on. I grabbed my white small coat and hung it over my shoulders rather than put it on. I wore pink lipstick that really made my lips plump out.

Theresa wore the smallest thing you could ever imagine. She's Latina, she wore a black dress with her boobs popping right out of it. She teased her black hair, and put on black heels. She looked gorgeous.

We got downstairs and I wasn't surprised by Nikki's choice of clothing. He had on a black T-shirt with a big red scarf pulled over it and sunglasses dangling from his shirt with a silver chain. He wore black leather pants with a skulls belt around it and had his tattoos showing. His hair was really teased and he put a band on it to keep his hair up. I can't lie he looked good. But I won't tell him that. I realized he's very cocky and arrogant.

"Wow you look absolutely breathtaking princess." He wrapped his arms around me. He then leaned in and kissed the top of my head, my forehead, and then my cheek.

"U....um Nikki." I cleared my throat nervously. "This is Theresa my friend." I pointed at her.

"Hey nice to meet you." He lifted his hand out to shake hers.

"Like wise she giggled." She says taking his hand. ____

We arrived at Nikki's apartment it turns out he was sharing it with Robbin Crosby. I remembered him from New York. This place was a dump. The carpet was wet because they had a cooler with a hole in it that was filled with ice. There was also only one bed and Robbin was nice enough to let Nikki sleep in it. So where was Robbin sleeping?

"Hey long time no see doll." Robbin pulled me in for a hug.

"Its nice to see you too Robbin." I moved back. "This is Theresa my friend." I pointed at her.

Robbin looked like he was about to just pass out when he saw Theresa. His eyes went wide and he was drooling all over like dog.

"H.....hi wow you're um...you're beautiful." Robbin pulled his hand out to shake hers.

"Thank you hansom." She giggled.

I went into the room Nikki was staying in. He said he just needed to grab a few things from the washroom. When I walked in my eyes went wide. There were posters of me on his wall everywhere. All my magazine shoots were taped up in every angle of the room. He came out of the washroom and looked at me shocked. His face was red with emabrassment.

"If I didn't know any better Nikki I would say you were infatuated with that model on your wall." I crossed my hands and lifted one eye brow smirking at him.

Nikki walked slowly towards me smiling." I'm beyond infatuated with her, I'm obsessed with her. And one day I'm gonna have her." He whispers as he caresses my cheek.

Oh God I need to leave this mans room. But it was cute seeing my pictures everywhere. And as for one day having me, I dont think so.

"Let's go Sixx." I say walking out the door.

"Right behind you princess."

We arrived at a place called The Rainbow. It was really nice. They didn't ID me because I was with Nikki. We saw the rest of his bandmates and some other guys I recognized from New York as well. I have to say I was definitely over dressed. Most of the girls here were wearing little or no cloths at all. And circling around the tables for guys to snatch on to. A lot of them were looking at the Motley boys and the boys that are now known to me as the band called Ratt.

I finally met the 4th member of Motley Crue. His name was Mick Mars, I really liked him. He was sensible but can be crazy when he drinks.

"Cheers fuckers." Tommy says as he holds up a shot glass. And everyone downs there shots.

"Hey beautiful you're not drinking?" Warren asks leaning on to me.

"Oh no I don't drink." I say putting my hand up.

"So you're a model huh, I could tell just by looking at you when I first saw you." He licks his lips and looks me up and down.

"Umhm." I nod. I look over at Nikki who is distracted talking and drinking with the others. I could smell the booze on warrens breath as he starts to inch closer to me.

"Hey Iman right, why don't you and your friend come with me. Us ladies should chat and give the men some room." The woman stuck out her hand for me to take. She had big brown teased hair, she was tall and absolutely gorgeous.

"Um I think I'll stay here and do shots with the guys." Theresa states.

"Good, girl you'll have more fun with us than chatting with Tommy's wife." Vince says while putting an arm around her neck.

Tommy's married wow that's interesting. I took her hand and got up to go with her. Warren frowned and side eyed Tommy's wife.

"Hey babe don't go to far." Nikki spoke up as he grabbed my arm. He pulled my arm down and kissed my cheek. He to was drinking alot.

But wait he called me "babe".

Me and Tommy's wife went into another booth. It was definitely better then being with all those guys.

"I'm Candice Starrek Lee, Tommy's wife." She holds her hand out to shake mine.

"Iman Darlington, nice to meet you." I greeted her.

"So you're a model as well, I've seen some of your pictures. You're absolutely gorgeous." She smiles.

"Thank you, you are too."

We talked a lot. Candice was a model herself and told me about the do's and dont's of modeling. She also gave me a warning one that I will never forgot.

"So you and Nikki Sixx are together?" She asked.

"Oh uh no." I waved my hands up. "We're just friends that's all."

"Listen, Nikki is a good guy and all, but you should keep your distance from him. He has two sides to him. And he is very destructive. If you care about yourself and your career. You'll stay as far away from him as possible." She warned.

She had a stern look on her face and I knew she wasn't kidding. Nikki is the guy that your parents warned you to stay away from. And I'm sure she has kown Nikki for while do to marrying Tommy. So chances are she knows what she's talking about.

"So what are the two sides?" I asked in a worried voice.

"He does hero......

"Hey babe." Tommy slurred interrupting our conversation. "We're gonna go now I'd like you all to my self. Sorry Mani I'm fucking horney." He said falling into the booth.

"I've got to get him home, it was nice meeting you." She lifted Tommy up.

"Yeah same here."

I wish she could have finished what she was going to say. I got up and headed back to the table were everyone was at. But I realized half of them were gone.

"Warren where's Theresa and Nikki?"

"Theresa's in the bathroom getting fucked by....by....Robbin I think...I don't fucking know." He slurred.

I ran to the washroom and burst open the door. "What the hell get off of her you pigs!" I ran pushing and shoving the guys away from her.

Stephen, Robbin , and Vince were running a train on her. These guys are pigs. I couldn't believe them.

"Theresa were going." I demanded grabbing her and pulling down her dress and fixing her bra.

"Oooooook, I had fun though. My pussy feels sooooo gooood. Thanks for bringing me." She slurred while hugging me.

She was completely drunk and had some white stuff on her nose. What the hell!

"Look she wanted it from all of us." Vince chuckled while zipping his pants up.

"That doesn't mean you have to do it. Shes drunk she doesn't know what she wants!" I stated holding her up.

"Hey stop being so stiff and loosen your pussy up. My dick would fit better in there if you did." Stephen laughed.

"Hey guys stop, do you want help with with her?" Robbin moved close to us.

"You guys are disgusting. And I wouldn't be caught dead sleeping with any one of you." I glared at all of them with the most disscusted look I could have on my face.

"News flash sweety, You're about to get involved with one of us disgusting guys." Stephen smirked and lifted an eye brow.

I walked out of the washroom carrying Theresa on my arm and saw Nikki at the table with some groupie on his lap.

"Nikki we need to leave, I need to get her home now please." I demanded.

"I'm not ready to fucking go." He slurred.

This is just great Nikki is wasted to. I could care less about the groupie. I moved towards the back where the guys were laughing. I hated all of them.

"Hey I'll call you girls a car home."

I turned to see Mick walking towards the phone.

"Thank you so much Mick."

15 min later....

He helped me carry Theresa outside to where the car was waiting for us.

"Thank you so much Mick I appreciate it. I really do." I hugged him them got into the car.

"No sweat kid." He smiled closing the door.

We arrived back at the condo I was praying that Tamara wasn't home yet. She would crucify me if she caught us and the state of Theresa. I opened the door and......

"You are in big big big trouble." Tamara stood in front crossing her arms over her chest.

#vince neil #nikki sixx #tommy lee #mick mars #motley crue #motley #crue #hair metal #glam metal #80s

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bewareofchris · 5 years

Text

originally from @justforshitsandcackles, i copied it so I can cross off the prompts I already have submitted.

“Don’t make me take you home and punish you.”

“I’ve never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly.”

“You’re not going out in that outfit.”

“Don’t give me that look.”

“You’re more than just a one night stand.”

“Would you just shut up and kiss me already?”

“You want me to give you your book/phone/item back? Make me.”

“Like what you see?”

“Try to stay quiet, understand?”

“We’re in public, you know.”

“I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

“Dont be so rough. there cant be any marks.”

“I really don’t care. You still look hot and i’m trying not to kiss/fuck you senseless right now.”

“Are you sure? Once we start, i might not be able to stop.”

“No, i’m supposed to be making you feel good.”

“Make me.”

“Stop teasing me so much..”

“You’re in trouble now.”

“Take off your clothes.”

“I’m waiting.”

“First one to make a noise loses.”

“Mine.”

“We cant do that here!”

“Behave.”

“What did you just say?”

“Come here.”

“Watch me.”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses anymore.”

“If you cant sleep…then how about we have sex?”

“Put that thing away!”

“Don’t kink shame me.”

“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god.”

“I’m going to put on some clothes before you say anything else.”

“Tell me what you want.”

A: “Bite me.” B:“If you insist.”

“Could he make you feel as good as i do?”

“You’re n-not ,um, w-wearing anything under that, are you..?”

“Are you trying to turn me on or are you really just that oblivious?”

“You taste like fucking candy.”

“The only way you’re getting off is on my thigh.”

“You make a sound and its game over.”

“Just let me finish this/this level and i swear ill go down on you until you cum at least three times.”

“If i have to stop what i’m doing, you wont be able to walk for the next week.”

“I could just pull your bikini bottoms to the side, no one will notice.”

“I haven’t even touched you and you’re already this wet.”

A: “Were you just masturbating?” B: “U-uh..no, i was just..” A: “Want some help?”

A: “Shut up.” B: “Why don’t you come over here and make me.”

“You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad.”

“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”

“C’mere, you can sit on my lap until i’m done working.”

“What? Does that feel good?”

“I’m not jealous! its just…you’re mine!”

“If we get caught i’m blaming you.”

“We have to be quiet.”

“Tell me again.”

“You have no idea how much i want you.”

“Say it.”

“If you don’t like my teasing, then why are you moaning?”

“Wow, i didn’t realize you were that…flexible.”

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole.”

“You better shut that pretty little mouth before i put it to work, doll.”

“I think thats the first time i’ve heard you moan…it was like a fucking melody.”

A: “I really want to kiss you right now.” B: “Then do it.”

A: “You’re not taking me to bed. ever.” B: “Who said it had to be on the bed?”

“She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but i bet behind closed doors she’s latex and whips.”

“Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. thats cute.”

A: “For the love of fuck.” B: “Yep, thats me. I love to fuck.”

“How do i look?”

“Would you reconsider if i was sober?”

“I’m sure i can get some kind of sexual gratification just from staring at him if i try hard enough.”

“Don’t fucking touch what is not yours.”

“You don’t need to cover up the bruises/hickeys.”

“I’m not sure if its a sexual thing or not.”

“We’re…..just friends.”

“Friends don’t do this kind of shit!”

“How quickly can you cum?”

A: “There’s people here.” B: “I know.”

“I don’t care what you do just fuck me.”

A: “Fuck you.” B: “I’m up for it if you are.”

A: “Don’t ruin the sofa.” B: “Ill just have to cum inside you then.”

“Stop dancing like that or i’m going to cum in my pants.”

“I’m not going to touch you unless you beg.”

“You cant tease me like that and expect not to be punished.”

A: “I’m gonna strangle you.” B: “Is that a promise?”

“You look a bit tied up, want me to come back later?”

“Stop distracting me.”

“Were you touching yourself?”

“I know they’re just stuffed animals but doesn’t it feel weird? its like they’re watching us.”

“That’s probably the fastest i’ve ever done that.”

“Please, remind me again why we’re having sex behind a tree?”

“I know for a fact that you can be a hell of a lot louder than that.”

“We’ve been at it like rabbits, how are you still horny?!”

“It was so worth the injury though!”

“Saddle up doll.”

“Did you just look me up and down and then bite your lip? ‘Cause if you did we’re having sex. Right now.”

“Your ass is going to be seven different shades of red after that little stunt.”

“God damnit, now all i can think about right now is you licking my cock like its that ice cream cone.”

“If i have to pull over, you wont be able to walk for the next week.”

A/B“Do you think they can hear us through the tent?” C: “Yes we can.”

“What are you doing in my bed?!”

STILL TAKING PROMPTS for illogical husbands, ineffable husbands, altmal, assassin’s creed (only up to black flag though) etc. I’m trying to do them all so help me out.

#prompt me

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sanguinarius-archive · 5 years

Text

(sal)ly face headcanons bc why not

sal actually loves bright/jarring colors, but claims he doesnt look good when wearing them (he does tho, just ask the artists ash and larry)

he loves loves loves space!!! he knows the names of random stars and planets. he doesnt talk about it much bc its hard for him to word it correctly but he just.. FOCUSES on it for HOURS

when people ask him “comics or novels” he literally cannot decide. he’ll read stephen king’s “it” but then a second later he’s reading a fuckin archie comic or garfield comic

he actually loves sci fi films more than horror!

horror movies tend to freak him out because hes more psychologically affected by them (bc of his trauma), so he’d rather avoid that and go with something like sci fi

this is canon but- he loves to paint his nails! one time he painted each nail with the bi flag. it actually took a lot of precision but it was worth it

sal loves small dogs. he also loves rottweilers and chihuahuas bc they look so silly and cute with those big bulging eyes and that waggy tail

he thinks bunnies are AWESOME and one time larry put one on his head and he felt like an angel was above him

“sal how does it feel?” “it feels like… like god has sent her top guardian down to protect my mind…” “from what?” “from negative energy”

it is utter chaos when hes forced to go to school with a cold

poor boy sneezes but he cant take off his prosthetic bc he’ll feel naked af

dont worry tho, ash and larry to the rescue! they take him to larry’s apartment and hide him there and take care of him for a bit before going back to school themselves. they also bring sal any work he misses

sal gets emotional very easily over happy things!

like literally if he thinks abt his friends for one (1) second he’ll start to tear up because he just appreciates them so much

he hates strawberries. they are always too weirdly cold for him and that hurts his teeth and he also just doesn’t like the way they taste

he also stims!!!! he tends to blink a lot and grind his teeth. other stims are more visible ones like flexing his fingers or drumming them on tables, and flapping his hands as well. also kicks his legs a lot

sal loves all animals, this is canon, but like

imagine if he frickin got like.. a snake

larry is SUPER terrified of snakes, he thinks theyre cool from a distance but he hates seeing them

so when sal is like “i got something to show u” larry isnt expecting it and he sees the snake that is very clearly in its container but he just BOLTS

and sal is like “noo… babey snek is nice…”

he… has a weird relationship with bugs like all of us. but he baby talks all of them from time to time

he literally will pick up a centipede and be like “what are you doing here mister?? just crawlin around? how delightful!! i wonder what it’s like to see the world in your eyes… with that many legs…”

sal will obviously wear whatever he wants

but traditionally “masculine” clothes? no thanks. he hates it. thats why he wears dresses to formal stuff. he feels trapped or suffocated if he wears a suit or anything like that

he just prefers really baggy/loose clothing

if given a meal with different portions he’ll eat it one by one

so like… if he has fries and chicken strips. if he starts on the fries, he finishes the fries. he doesn’t switch back and forth

he also loves sweets but only if they’re small

big candy bars? no thank you

also going back to the stim thing- ash stims as well so she and sal share stim toys!!! things like squishies or weighted stuff or spinner rings or chewie jewelery, they’ll share those with each other

okay but one day he’s in art class just goofing off with larry

and larry puts glitter in his own hair as like a joke

but sal is just FASCINATED

because… oh my god… sparkl…………. shinyy…

and so he practically pours the entire tub of glitter on his hair

and he gets in so much trouble for it but he’s like “no miss listen i am a goddess. this is who i am. i am a teen figuring my life out”

and for the rest of the day he doesn’t bother to get any of it out so he walks around the school with a terribly large amount of glitter in his hair

larry cries of laughter whenever he sees him

ash thinks he’s a QUEEN and insists that he comes over and lets her fiddle with his hair and actually make it v pretty and sparkly

so he accepts!!!!!

sal also loves little kids and is super good with them. sometimes kids get scared of his mask, but it’s easy for him to reassure them

when soda is born, sal declares he’s going to be her favorite uncle

and he’s right!

larry’s not jealous though cause yeah, sal is pretty great

and honestly? sal is super protective of soda. he shields her from seeing or hearing any bad things

i also headcanon sal’s voice is a bit like kurt cobain’s- so he kind of sings like him too? but doesn’t scream or anything. his singing voice very soft like kurt’s in the beginning of lithium

sal doesn’t really like to sing though. in front of people, at least

he loves music box versions of songs, they’re just so relaxing and they help him fall asleep a lot of the time

also when he sleeps it’s usually on his back, so gizmo lays on his stomach through the night. sal doesn’t move a lot during his sleep

he has sleepwalked though, to larry’s place

and larry woke up and saw sal (this is after he first saw him without his mask) and he saw him without his glass eye For The First Time

larry TRIES not to wake him up but pretty much fails and sal kind of has a panic attack

he’s like “that- i- i’m sorry- my eye-” and covers it but larry pulls his hand down back to his side and is like “it’s ok you look super cool without it”

prom is honestly one of the best nights of sal’s life

he’s got his hair up in a bun and wears a rainbow-striped t-shirt with a high-waisted black skirt and a long-sleeved black shirt underneath the t-shirt and tall dark leather boots

his nails are painted blue, red, purple, orange to represent him, larry, ash and todd (tho his nails on his thumbs are painted black)

because he secretly loves dancing when no one is around, he just kind of rocks it at prom and his friends are blown away bc… holy shit?? sal fisher can Dance????

but he’s more playful with it

he and larry scream the lyrics to the songs that play

they all end up ditching the prom and going outside to the back of the school and just kinda goof off

larry and ash share a cigarette and todd drives all of them out beyond city limits to an open field

they just kinda lay down in the grass there and stargaze for nearly the entire night

they talk about stupid stuff and serious stuff

honestly sal just goes back to his apartment very later and happy cries

cause again, he gets so emotional over happy stuff

and he loves his friends very much

and no there is no bad ending to this or bad ending that i won’t talk about

they all grow up together and are happy

EDIT: ANOTHER ONE I FORGOT TO ADD... sal LOVES deadpool. hes only into marvel for deadpool. he relates to him bc hey they both have deformed faces (except for dp its his whole body too i think) but ya!!!! he loves wade frickin wilson

#mine #sally face #sal fisher #larry johnson #ashley campbell #todd morrison #long post/#headcanons #sally face headcanons #sf headcanons

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futurepurplepaladin · 6 years

Text

When I’m With You I’m Home- Part 2

Anonymous: 11+15+73+81 for lance reuniting with an s/o he left on earth

11) “Wow, you look… amazing.”

15) ““When I’m with you, I’m home.”

73) ““Please don’t say goodbye.”

81) “Come with me.”

Phew, this took so long to write! Sorry about that! I forgot to add on the last post- this is with a fem s/o, and Im really working on writing gender neutral- Im just not used to it. So Im so sorry if this made the fic harder to read! And this DEFINTELY doesnt match the storyline from Season 7-so sorry?

Word Count: 3,468

Who: Lance x Reader

Warnings: Some cuss words in Spanish- mentions of depressio

Hope you enjoy!!!

(not my gif- gypsyastronaut)

“Getting busy over there LAnce?” a voice taunted in front of you; the voice was undefiable as male or female- but you recognized it at once.

“Wait is that- PIDGE?”

------

You looked over Lance’s shoulder, seeing Pidge (and Hunk) walk over in almost identical lions as Lance (Pidge was green, and Hunk was yellow). They also were wearing the strange armor.

“Y/n?!?” she called excitedly, and soon as she said that both Hunk and Pidge where running over.

“Oh my god you guys, where’d you get all the weird costume?!” You laughed, hugging both individuals.

Pidge’s short, messy hair was a little longer like Lances, but she was still the same height.

Hunk look like he had gained some muscle, and his bandana looked like it could use a good wash.

“Soo…” Pidge smirked at LAnce, “you never told us you had a girlfriend!”

“And you never told us it was her- I mean- y/n!” HUnk exclaimed, trying to be very polite (per usual).

“Well….” Lance tried to explain, giving you a nervous smile.

You smiled back, saying, “We weren’t a thing… we just kinda figured it out right now.”

Hunk and Pidge looked at each other, evil smirks on their faces. You remembered those faces- that meant they were gonna screw with someone (most likely Lance). But just as Pidge opened her mouth, you felt another “whoooosh” over you that made your hair fly forward. And then a second one flew over you 5 seconds later.

“Okay- why is there different colored lions, I thought there was only a Blue one? And is Shiro and Keith in those ones?” You asked the group quickly, anxiously waiting for their answer.

“Yeah, that should be Shiro and Keith,” Hunk answered, turning towards the spot that they landed.

Lance pondered for a second- how do you know about the Lions?

He gave you a look that you knew to well that he was confused, and you realized he caught your mistake- he couldn’t know about what you did- he CANT. You quickly left him, running to go meet with Shiro and Keith to get away from any awkward questions.

“Mr. Shirogane! Mr. Shirogane is that really you?!?” You yelled, happily excited to see your favorite teacher again- until you realized you were only wearing a breathing suit and you stopped running awkwardly.

“How have you been y/n?” He asked politely, not noticing your lack of clothing.

“Uh- pretty good-“ you said thinking “He’s hairs way different…….”

Then you noticed Keith, you were standing right beside him.

He looked moody- as usual.

“Hey Keith,” you gave a small wave, and he gave a small ‘Hey.’

Hunk, Pidge, and Lance had finally reached you, standing behind you.

“Alright- somebody tell me what’s going on?” You asked your dying question quickly, afraid that they wouldn’t answer it if you didn’t ask at once. “Why is there lions? Where did you guys go? Where did YOU GET THE ARMOR?!?l

Everyone did something different- Lance looked guilty, Pidge was still smirking at you two, Hunk was staring off at the darkening sunset, Keith looked at you as if he trying to see if you were trying to backstab them, but Shiro looked at you with seriousness and sympathy.

“Y/n,” he began, “I know your confused at all this, to be honest, we are too. We can tell you the story…. but not right now.”

“WHAT?!?” You yelled in frustration. “My best friend left -“

(“Boyfriend”, Pidge snickered)

“And all my friends were said to be dead- and you can’t tell me where you guys have been for the last year and a half?!” your frustration got the better of you, and you forgot who you were yelling at- but Shiro gave a soft smile and said, “I know this is frustrating, but promise me, You will know what happened.”

“Alright….” you complied, and Keith, thinking it was the right time to talk, “Guys, it’s getting dark, we’re gonna have to go.”

“Wait-“ You swiveled quickly to look at Lance- “you can’t go!”

Your heart throbbed to think you had to leave Lance- AGAIN- after only seeing him for about 30 minutes. You would be more heart broken than the last time.

Lance hurt seeing your face- it was as if all the guilt and worry he caused a year and half before was coming all coming to surface on your face.

“Keith- Shiro- I can’t go,” he said defiantly, “this is my home- let me stay for the night- then I’ll go.” You looked at him, hope filling your eyes again, and he smiled down at you.

“Lance you can’t, we have to get back-“ Keith started, but Shiro put a hand on his shoulder, signaling him to stop, and he finished for him.

“Lance, you can stay, I don’t see the trouble in it- but please be back before 9. We do have the meeting with the Garrison tomorrow, and we all need to be there.”

“Alright,” Lanc said gleefully, and you gave him a look he could read as if you were actually talking to him- “Meeting?”

“Just something I have to do,” he looked back, and you nodded in understanding.

You watched all the paladins leave one by one, hugging each one (except Keith, who looked extremely moody and had wrapped his arms around himself- and you were also secretly angry at him for trying to get Lance to leave), and watched as the flew into the sky and into the night, like reversed shooting stars- each one a color of the rainbow.

It was now dark, the ocean turning a dangerous indigo, and the night sky was covered in stars.

“Well- what do you want to do?” you asked Lance, grabbing his hand. You realized how good it felt to put your hand in his and wondered why it took you so long to actually confess to him. You haven't felt this happy in a long time.

Lance blushed, hoping the darkness covered up the red traveling up to his cheeks- but since his armor glowed in the dark, it illuminated his face and almost made it look worse.

“U-um...well- I just want to see my family, I've missed them so much!” you guys walked up the beach, you leading Lance back to your belongings. The sand felt cool and soft and it reminded you of the Moon Sand you and Lance used to play with as kids.

“Yeah its been awhile….” you said airly, imagining the happy faces of the McCLains when they realized their boy had came back home, and you smiled.

After Lance admitted to missing his family, it was as if a plug had come undone and he was spilling everything in a happy, home sick voice.

“Ive missed the my family so much, and especially the food. I haven't had actual Earth food in forever! Like tacos, and pancakes, and the Spongebob ice creams from the ice cream truck with bubble gum eyes, oh and garlic knots! Man your tia used to make the best garlic knots- does she still make them- “

“Oh mierda!” you yelped.

You stopped walking, your happy bubble being popped.

“Whats wrong?” Lance asked, confused and instantly on guard.

“MY AUNT!” she had warned you not to be out so late- and it definitely looked like past 9.

“We gotta go!”

You sprinted towards your board, Lance following suit, and you ran towards the main road.

A normal walk to your house took a few minutes, but you got there at record time.- but you felt it wasn't fast enough- she was gonna be so PISSED.

You arrived at your little house, the outside being illuminated by warm yellow light streaming out through the windows. The door was open, letting in a soft breeze and the smell of garlic filled the air.

You quietly put down your board, dreading the telling to you were gonna get- and in front of LAnce. You had gotten in trouble in front of him before, but know it was different- your relationship was different. This wouldn't be only just embarrassing- you probably just start digging your grave right after.

“Wait are those… Garlic kn-mmph!” Lanc energetically yelled, and you frantically shushed him with your hand. His eyes got wide, and you whispered, “Just- stay quiet okay- I dont know what shes gonna do if shes sees you-I just tell her super gently so she doesn't have a full blown heart attack- let me handle it.” you quickly added, “Nod if you understand.”

Lance nodded in agreement, and after you realised him from your hand, he spat on the ground.

“Next time you do that,” he whispered harshly, “make sure your hands aren't covered in sand!”

You giggled quietly, angry butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

“Stop being a baby, Feo- just wait here.”

You gave him a weak smile and quietly walked up your front steps, dread building the closer you got to the door.

You slid through, and you saw your aunt’s back in the kitchen, smoke rising as she clanged pots and pans around. You swore your aunt had eyes in the back of her head, cause just as your crouched through the doorway, she turned around quickly, giving you a glare that made you flinch.

“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!” she bellowed in her slight Spanish accent, “YOU HAD ME WORRIED SICK- IF YOU WERENT HOME IN 5 MINUTES I WAS GOING TO CALL THE POLICE! I TOLD YOU, IF YOU EVER DID THAT AGAIN YOU WERE NEVER GOING TO- Santa Maria….”

Your aunt stopped abruptly, staring not at you but at something behind you. You felt a familiar someone near you, and you stated quietly with a smile- “I got kinda side tracked.”

You looked up at Lance, seeing his soft smile, and you smiled wider.

“Lance… is i really you?” your aunt tentatively walked towards you, clutching her heart as she walked towards him.

“Yeah, its me Tia,” Lance said weakily, as if the amount of happiness in him was sapping his energy.

Your aunt screamed in glee, and put Lance into a bone crushing hug. You laughed, knowing that your aunt saw Lance as a son- you guys were like family.

She finally put Lance on ground as he rubbed his arms to get blood flow back there. “Come come, I just finished making dinner,” you aunt said, a smile etched on her face. You both walked over, seeing the silver baking sheets covered in assorted food; Lance was right, she did make garlic knots.

“Mijo, eat, your a twig!” she said affectionately to Lance, handing him a whole pan of food.

Lance licked his lip, clearing cant waiting to eat. You were hungry as well- you hadnt eaten anything all day, and the hunger had just caught up to you. You grabbed for a bread yourself, and your aunt hit your hand with a spatula.

“Ow!” you yelped, grabbing your know throbbing hand, “What was that for!”

“You were gone for 10 HOURS! No, you can wait- not until you change into something other than THAT!” she said, aiming her spatula at you like a weapon and motioning to your bathing suit.

“Its a bathing suit, Tia” you said, “its something that your suppose to wear at the beach.”

“But you need to cover up- especially around this one,” she looked at you while pointing the spatula at LAnce, who was currently stuffing his face.

“I think she looks great,” Lance said after he swallowed a huge chunk of bread, giving a smug look at your body. You blushed, feeling that maybe it would be a good time to change- your aunt had just whacked Lance on the head with the spatula and Lance gave out a yelp.

You shook your head and laughed, going into your room.

--------------

You turned on the light, the warm glow illuminating the walls. Your room really had no concept- it was just a mess of things that your owned and liked.

In front of you was your window, opened to let in a breeze. The lacy white curtains curled lazily in the breeze. Your closet was open, relieving a mess of shoes and shirts. The far sided wall was painted with stars and constellations, that glowed in the dark. Your bed was blue, covered in pink, green, and white assorted pillows that said “Whatever” and “Shooketh” and other wierd saying you thought were funny or just cute. The walls were covered in snapshots of star constellations and Star Wars posters. Next to your bed, was another curtain- it was red, clashing with the pastel colors of your room. Yes, your room was messy and maybe a little hard on the eyes but- you liked it. It was yours.

You stepped over clothes strewn on the floor, grabbing your phone and playing hit on your favorite playlist, not noticing the quiet voices in the kitchen.

---------

Lance had just explained to your aunt were he had been, giving her a quick run down. He didnt give her more information than he gave you- he felt it would be wrong to tell your aunt first instead of you.

“So- how has y/n and you been doin- since I….you know….” Lance asked, finishing off his 7th garlic knot.

He was worried about you- he knew you too well. The fact you guys had fought hurt him alot, but he knew it would hurt you worse.

“Ay mijo… she wasnt doing well, not at all,” she replied sadly, putting down the towel she was using to clean her hands.

“After you left, she went into a sadness. She was crazy, not the same- going around, crying, yelling at officials saying that they needed to work harder to find you. They gave her a deal and said that she could come back in the next year- how I heard she was acting, shes blessed to have a second chance”

Lance gulped dryly, noticing how dry his throat was.

“What else happened?”

Your aunt continued, “The town was just as sad as she was. Your family mijo- they were heartbroken. But y/n- you would have thought you had died. After what happened to her parents-she had already lost so much, and then losing you… I think it was too much for her.. She stayed in her room all day, never came out, and wouldnt eat. I think she barely slept. I never knew what she was doing, but that was when she put up that red curtain- I never checked what was under i. I didn't want to look into her private things…”

“A red curtain/” Lance looked up quickly, feeling more guilt washing over him. How could he do this to his family? To the girl he loved? And he never realized it?

“Si, mijo… near her bed- maybe you can talk her into showing it to you. But please-” your aunt graped LAnce’s hand with both of hers, “don't tell her I told you this. She would be so mad at me.”

“Of course,” Lance smiled sympthatically at her, patting her hands with his free one.

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Lance walked into your room, seeing you lay out clothes on your already messy bed. You pulled a earbud out of your ear, smiling at him.

“Been stuffing your face?” you smirked at him.

“Ha funny- but your not wrong,” he laughed weakly, watching you sadly. How could his happy-go-lucky, sassy, beautiful y/n been depressed over him a year ago? He couldn't see it- he didn't want to see it.

“I just wanted to put something on sorta nice, ya know? You know Auntie, shes crazy over looking presentable over guests- Im surprised she didnt care about what she was wearing when she saw you. What did she say about your suit thingie? That thing, not gonna lie, its a little wierd- What are you doing?”

You stopped abruptly as you turned to look at Lance. He was staring at your wall, your secret, private wall- the curtain was open-nobody was allowed to touch it- especially- him-

Silence filled your room. You felt guilt, shame, dread, and even fear fill up inside you.

“What are you doing?” The room felt still as you whispered those words harshly at him.

“I-just-y/n- what is this? How do you know about-”

Your “secret wall” was covered with a map and black and white pictures of the Blue Lion, Lance, Pidge, and Hunk on the day they had gone missing. All of them were quick snapshots, some fuzzy, some as clear as day- alot of them looked like they were from secruity cameras. All of them had red string going from one picture to another, sharpie circling important spots, and sticky notes.

Lance pulled one sticky note off, the words on it clearly spelled out ‘Voltron?”, as if the sticky note itself was confused on what it was.

“How do you know about this? y/n?” Lance’s starined voice hurt you, and it hit you like a pile of rocks. You were looking at your feet, feeling as if again your world had fallen around you. You had worked so hard to keep this a secret.

“Lance- I-” you began, realizing it was a lost cause to lie- he would see right through it.

You walked towards him, Lance’s eyes covered in confusion.

“The night you left- I-I followed you. I knew where you were going. Pidge had invited me to help her at night before because she would sometimes need help with her machines, but she was good at covering up her tracks. The only thing I accidentally saw was the word “Voltron.””

“So, that night, I followed, you, to make sure you didnt do anything stupid- which you did. After the explosions, I tried to follow you, but you had already were gone after I recovered from the sound. I went inside to maybe find you, see if you went inside too- I wish I didnt- cause after that you were gone.”

“I started- feeling the Garrison was doing enough to find you. I spent months telling them my story, but they did nothing. I was- failing classes, because I was going and stealing information off the Garrison.”

Lance gasped, scolding, “y/n!”

“I know, you laughed, “bad, right? Well, they found me out one day- I was printing off a picture of something- i dont know- another snapshot of the Blue Lion? I dont know- anyway, they called me in and started inerrogating me. They realized i knew too much information, and after I said that I was going to call in the government and tell them what they were hiding- the Garrison freaked out. They let me off the hook, and said I could come back whenever I could- I think they just didnt want me to sell them out.”

“So yeah- came back home- and started doing this-” you motioned to the board. “This was all I would do. I just wanted to find you Lance.” you turned to the board, facing away from him because tears were threatening to spill.

“I was lost without you.” you voice hitched, giving away the tears that were slipping away. You felt hands around you, and grabbed them like you needed them to help you stand up. You smashed into his chest, filling yourself fall part.

“God, Lance, I couldnt think, “ you cried, “I didnt know what to do with myself. Everyday- it was the same and I couldnt do it. I couldnt do it anymore. Please dont leave. Please dont say goodbye. dont go back.” you cried, grabbing his neck like your life depended on it.

Lance’s heart gave a violent throb. He had seen you cry- but never seen you breakdown. He grabbed you tighter, knowing he had to go, there was no way out of it- but he didn't want to leave you- knowing you would be this upset and depressed-

“Come with me,” he said, so quiet you were the only that could her him.

“What?” you asked, feeling you eyes itch with puffiness.

“Come with me, the Lions are stationed at the Garrison- thats where were staying at! Y/n Im so sorry I did this to you- I hate seeing you cry….”

He pulled you into another hug, and you realized how much you loved him- he cared so much about you, and how you could have ever been angry at him for leaving made you angry at yourself. But going back to the Garrison? You were scared- so many bad things had happened there, you didnt want to relieve that again…..

“I know your scared, but itll be okay, this time Ill be by your side the whole time- I promise,” he said, almost as if he was reading your mind.

You stayed quiet, still feeling uncertain.

You pulled apart from him,, dabbing your noise with the back of your hand. “Let me think about it, kay?” you asked him, giving him a smile.

“Alright,” he replied sadly, and left your room, knowing that you would make your decision soon- you never liked to dwell on things for too long. You closed the door, locking it.

The Garrison? Again? You did miss learning about space though...and you'd be able to be with Lance and your friends again…..

You sighed, thinking, “What am I gonna do?”

----------

Lance walked out to see your aunt feverishly doing the dishes.

“Did you see it, mijo?” she asked quickly, walking towards him.

“Yeah, I did.”

“Well- what was it?” she asked fear and hope filling her eyes.

“Well, um- “ Lance started, feeling as if maybe he shouldn't be the one to tell her, he paused thinking of a way to not tell your aunt outright but not lie to her at the same time.

“Lets just say- it involves a Lion.”

And right when he said that, you had walked out, wearing something all too familiar.

You were wearing your old Garrison jacket and pants, and you had put your hair into a sleek bun.

“A blue Lion to be exact.” you smiled, looking at Lances beaming face.

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Oh mierda- oh shit

Feo- ugly

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