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mostlymarvelsstuff · 2 days

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To Call You Mine

Chapter 11

Authors note: don't ask me how you'd determine a babys birth gender in an Omegaverse, just pretend with me lmao

Word count: 1564

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4 months

You lazily stretch as you sit up in the nest, trying your best to not wake the sleeping Omega by your side just yet. One free from your still slumbering mates hold, you tiptoe off to the bathroom to take care of your business before you head to make breakfast.

Now in the kitchen, you pull a package of bacon and the carton of eggs out of the fridge and bring them over to the counter next to the stove. You grab a couple of pans and turn on the burners, waiting for them to warm up before you lay a few slices of meat in one and crack a few eggs in the other. You add a pinch of spices and some minced veggies to them before mixing up the yolks and whites, getting everything well and scrambled as they cook.

The delicious aromas make their way back to the bedroom, which causes Natasha to stir from her slumber. She groggily blinks away the remainder of sleep before checking in on Dima on the monitor. Satisfied that he's still asleep she tosses her blanket aside and makes her way to the kitchen.

A smile spreads across her face as she sees you at the stove, cooking a meal for your family. Getting to witness and experience what she never thought she’d get with you, always elicits a warmth within her, like all the love and safety you've ever shown her has just made a home there within her. And she really hopes that never goes away. A meow pulls her from her thoughts and she stifles a giggle when she sees the small black furball pawing at your ankle, looking up at you as if she’d not had a meal all month.

“Don’t give me that look, little miss” you coo at her, though all it gets you is another pitiful meow, “Oh fine, even though you don’t need it, I can’t say no when you look at me like that.”

Liho patiently waits as you cut up a small piece of bacon for her, and you can’t believe how the feline has both you and Nat wrapped around her paw already. If this is how bad you both are with a cat, you worry what it'll be like once the pups are all talking properly. They're all going to be so spoiled, not that you truly minded. Afterall, you’d have spoiled Natasha much more than you already had if it didn’t surpass her comfort levels.

“Here, eat up you little menace” you tell her, placing the bacon in front of her before patting her head

“That better not be my bacon you just gave away”

You turn around and smile at your adorable Omega, who still has sleep tousled hair, “I don’t have a death wish, baby. I know not to touch your bacon”

“Good” she affirms, but the smile on her lips confirms she's only teasing, “I wouldn’t want you to have to sleep on the couch”

You laugh, “Wow, not only banned from the nest, but the bed too”

She shrugs, “I take my bacon very seriously”

“You know what I take seriously?” you ask, not waiting for a reply, “My morning kisses”

She smiles and shakes her head at your antics, but doesn’t hesitate to step forward into your awaiting arms. Your hands rest on her hips protectively as she leans forward to connect her lips to yours in a gentle kiss.

“Better?” she teases, pulling back from you slightly

You lean in to peck her lips a second time, “Now it is”

A cute blush settles across her cheeks and she decides she wants to distract you so you don’t comment on it, “Are you excited for today?”

“Of course I am!” you reply, eyes lighting up as you look at her, “I can’t wait to see how many you're carrying! And so long as they're healthy, I’ll be happy!”

Nats smile widens almost impossibly. Bruce hadn’t cared one way or the other how many she was with, all he cared about was the fact that he had succeeded in getting her knocked up after how much resistance she had given him. And he was also adamant that it had better be a son. He needed to have one so badly that she was actually scared of what he'd do if she ended up having just a girl. But thankfully the universe had been kind enough to appease him, and now it had finally been kind to her.

“What about you, detka(baby)?”

Your voice brings her back to the present and she nods, “I am too, and as much as I’ll love them regardless, I really do want a little girl”

You adoringly watch on as she brings a hand up to caress her bump, and you know then that if you haven’t been successful with getting a girl this time, you would happily try again and again if necessary.

“3 o'clock really can’t come soon enough”

She chuckles, “I was just thinking the same thing. But let's eat breakfast and maybe time will pass by a bit quicker once I get Dima up”

Time does indeed move faster once your pup is awake and fed, and before you even know it you and your mate are greeting Yelena at the door. You exchange quick pleasantries with her as well as thanking her for coming over to watch her nephew. She of course only waves you off

“It's no trouble. He is my nephew afterall. Besides, he and I get along like a house on fire!”

Nat turns her gaze away from her sister beaming smile and to you, “That's what worries me”

Yelena pouts a bit, obviously having heard but she remains quiet, at a loss for what to say just yet. And you shrug, “I think it's safe enough for now. When he gets older though and can walk and talk properly, we may have a problem then”

“Hey! I am right here!” the blonde speaks up with a dramatic flair of her hands

You and your mate both chuckle, and your Omega moves to embrace her sister once more, “And we thank you so much for being her and being the brunt of our jokes.”

“Yeah yeah” she mumbles, hugging Nat back regardless, “Now go on, I know how excited you both are so stop tormenting me and get to your appointment”

Your Omega eagerly nods and removes herself to say another quick goodbye to Dima which you join her in. As the two of you went to the garage you can hear the Beta call out, “I expect a phone call as soon as you leave the doctors!”

You chuckle at how excited she is, knowing you both feel the same way, “We’ll call you!”

Once at the doctor's office the two of you can hardly contain your excitement. Sitting next to you, Natasha is practically vibrating. If someone didn’t know better they'd think she was overly jittery due to too many cups of coffee. But you knew that wasn’t the case, and so her actions were quite adorable.

You were about to offer up some words to help ease her nerves and calm her a bit, but before you get the chance a nurse opens the door to the waiting room and calls her name. The two of you follow her back down the hallway until you get to the room she's chosen for you both. She takes your Omegas blood pressure and listens to her heart beat before helping her get settled on the bed. She gets the ultrasound machine ready and then leaves to get the doctor.

“You okay, Omega?” you ask, reaching out to grab her hand

She nods, “Just a little nervous. I don’t want anything to be wrong”

“I know detka(baby)” you offer her a reassuring smile, “Just remember that I’m right here”

She nods just as the doctor enters. She exchanges greetings with the two of you before getting settled at the ultrasound machine. She lifts up your mate's shirt and slides her pants waistband down a bit to fully expose her bump, followed by her squeezing some of the cold gel onto her skin there. Natasha shudders a bit at its temperature and the doctor apologizes. She slowly moves the wand around while studying the screen in front of her. Though you know it's less than a minute, it feels like she's silent for an hour before she finally speaks

“Everything is looking really good. Both mom and pups look healthy”

“Pups?” Nats asks, her eyes lighting up as she smiles at you

The doctor smiles and turns the screen towards the two of you and you both watch as a fuzzy black and white image takes shape, “Right there you can see them both”

Natashas eyes begin to water as she sees the pups outlines, “We’re having twins, Alpha”

“Yeah we are” you respond, a few tears of your own building, “Can you tell what they are?”

The doctor looks back at the screen for a few moments before answering, “Congrats, looks like you're having two little girls”

Natashas hand tightens its grip on yours and you offer her a brilliant smile, “Hear that Omega? Girls.”

She matches your smile with one of her own, “I can’t wait to tell Yelena”

Taglist:@wandaromamoff69 @mmmmokdok @nataliasknife @natashasilverfox @when-wolves-howl @danveration @naomi-m3ndez @sheneonromanoff @sayah13 @likefirenrain @nighttime-dreaming @readings-stuff @chaoticevilbakugo @crystalstark02 @wackymcstupid @xchaiix @iaminluvwithnat @lovelyy-moonlight @blackwidow-3 @mistressofinsomnia @that-one-gay-mosquito @yomamagf @yourfavdummy @justarandomreaderxoxo @scoutlp23-blog @whoischanelle15 @lissaaaa145 @eline03 @wizardofstories @imthenatynat @marvelonmymind @fluffyblanketgecko @bitch-616 @dakotastormm @zoomdeathknight @rayeofmoonlight @aeroae @sashawalker2 @naslt @lattayhottay16 @yelenabelov-ed @thatonebrazilian @that-one-gay-mosquito @marvelwomen-simp @wannabe-fic-reader @tashakink @whitewidowsbite @smromanoff

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha x reader #omega!nat #omega!Natasha romanoff #marvel fanfiction #fanfic #marvel

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abouttofillhisshoes · 3 days

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Blurbs you say?? I am thinking thoughts… about matty’s dick in my mouth while he smokes a cigarette <3

This #unedited and sort of shit, but i promised myself to not to obsess over it too much. also i cant not post without a fancy title and banner bc im allergic soz xx

Go down - Matty Healy

A/N: im shit at blurbs, minors do not interact

wc: 1.5k

The door shuts with a loud bang, Mattys footsteps echoing through the foyer. Ridding himself of his jacket, chucking it onto the couch, he sits down next to it, an exasperated groan leaving his lips. His voice was sore, raspy from tonight's gig. Sold out, ten thousand people, all screaming the house down as Matty sang his heart out. Fans went wild as he unbuttoned his crisp white shirt, leaving all but one buttoned unfastened.

It still was, the fabric now wrinkled and slightly damp from the sweat, clinging to his body. It took everything in you to not jump onto him right at that moment, take him then and there. No, he was tired, eyes shutting as he rolled his head back, resting it onto the edge of the sofa. His voice was low as he spoke.

“Darling?” you hum in acknowledgement, peeking your head around the corner, still trying to tow your shoes off. He waits for you to actually enter the room, a rough hand running through his gelled hair, tucking some of it behind his ear.

“Could you pour me some wine?” Despite having been drinking the entire set, Matty always liked a healthy glass of wine when he got home, exhausted and missing your presence. Usually, you would take the time to talk about the show, what the stagehands had fucked up this time et cetera, et cetera. This time, however, you had other things on your mind, and, based on the way his eyes dragged up and down your body as you walked by, he did as well.

You grab two glasses from the marble cupboard, setting them onto the counter. Pouring both of you a generous amount, you check yourself in the reflection of the microwave. Your hair was a bit messy, and your mascara was slightly smudged from dancing, but it didn't bother you.

“Thank you, love.” a grateful look spreads onto his face as he takes a glass from you, smiling. You place a chaste kiss on his lips, wiping a bit of dirt off his face with your free hand. Before you could even move to sit down, his hand wraps around your lower back, pulling you into an awkward kneeling position between his legs, the edge of the sofa digging into your knees. He kisses you like this, setting both your glasses onto a small table, freeing up both hands.

You shift, using his shoulders for leverage, lowering your body onto the floor in front of him.

“What are you up to, mh?” he asks, his filthy smirk making your head spin.

“Could ask you the same thing, undressing in front of an audience.” you mention his little display, thrusting up into air as he danced around, the screams of the crowd only spurring him on. He pretends to look offended, shaking his head in protest.

“It's art.”

“It's insanely hot, is what it is.” you grin, hands settling right onto his belt.

His breath hitches, breathing pattern slightly irregular as you look up at him through your eyelashes, blinking innocently.

A quiet “Oh, fuck me.” leaves his lips, and he coughs, trying to remain composed. That proves more difficult than he thought, especially with you looking at him like that.

“Can I?” you ask, voice dripping like honey. The look on his face when you let things drag on like this was delicious, eyes drooping shut as he groaned your name.

“Shoot me if i ever say no to that question, fucking hell.” That's all you need, your hands making quick work of the black leather belt in front of you, the sound of metal against metal so unbelievably erotic.

Above you, you hear Matty shuffle, hands digging into the pockets of his suit jacket. Producing a pack of cigarettes, he sticks one between his lips, light not far behind. Something stirs in you when he lights it, the soft glow of the flame making him look even more attractive than he already was.

He’s hard against the palm of your hand as you work the buttons of his trousers, pulling them down along with his black boxer-briefs. The cool air makes him groan, a cloud of smoke leaving his parted lips. The smell doesn't take long to fill your senses, so distinctly Matty.

Not in the mood for a tease, his hand finds the thick locks of your hair, threading his fingers through it. Taking another drag of his cigarette, he watches you suck the tip of his cock into your mouth, moaning when the taste of him hit your tongue.

He gathers your hair up into a makeshift ponytail, keeping it out of your face as you take him in, hollowing out your cheeks in that way that makes him lose his mind.

His hand pushes your head down lightly, silently asking for permission. You let him, his cock brushing against the back of your throat, making your gag reflex kick in. Using a trick your friend had taught you back in highschool, you press your thumb between the rest of your fingers, trying to suppress it.

Matty is shameless above you, moaning and groaning whenever you bobbed your head, incredibly pent up and desperate.

Trying again, you let him guide himself deeper into your mouth, his sounds of encouragement spurring you on.

“So fucking good, just- yeahh, thats it, fuck” his words go straight to your core, and you clench your thighs together, trying to relieve some of the aching pressure between your legs.

Bobbing your head, you breathe through your nose, taking him as deep as you can without gagging, feeling him twitch in your mouth. His tip leaks salty precum onto your tongue, the smells of cigarettes the only thing you could concentrate on. You look up, your eyes meeting his right as he takes a drag, pushing your head down even further. Again, you sputter, but you don't get off.

“God, you’re so gorgeous, choking on my cock like this.” he groans, throwing his head back in pure ecstasy.

“Made for me, weren't you? Perfect mouth, shit.” his rambling lets you know he’s close, hips bucking up into your mouth, your tongue running over the vein on the underside of his cock, pulsing with need.

Taking one last drag, he lets the finished cigarette fall onto the concrete floor behind the sofa, both hands now on your head, fucking his cock into your warm mouth.

You moan around him, the vibrations sending curses falling from his lips, the sounds of his movements echoing through the living room.

“I’m not gonna last, fucking- oh god.” he warns you, quickly pulling off him. Shaking your head, you raise your eyebrows at him and a small smile spreads onto your face.

“When has that ever been an issue?” he laughs, brushing your hair out of your face sweetly. You rub your cheeks against his thigh, eyes set on his weeping erection, desperate for release.

“Now, let me take care of you, okay?” he nods slowly, both his arms spread out on either side of him, letting you have full control. You dive back in, switching from kitten licking the tip to deepthroating him as far as you can go, his gasps of pleasure like music to your ears.

“Jesus, you‘re a fucking wet dream.” he moans, hips bucking uncontrollably as he spills onto your mouth, hot ropes of cum painting the back of your throat. His legs shake as you hold your head there, taking everything he gives you, the salty taste of him like heaven.

You stick out your tongue proudly, showing it completely clean. His hands grab your shoulders as fast as they can move, pulling you up and onto his lap. He kisses you, hard, tongue forcing its way into your mouth before you could even react. Groaning at the taste of himself on your tongue, his fingers wipe at your cheeks, rubbing off your mascara, which had started to stream down your face.

“You're a temptress, you are.” he grins, kissing you again, softer this time. Rolling your eyes, you use your nails to scratch the back of his head, knowing how much he loved the sensation.

“You didn't even try to resist.” you spit back, giggling at the speed at which he’d pulled you onto him, not even bothering to take his shoes off before plopping onto the sofa.

“I didn't, did I?”

#okay cool #first actual blurb length blurb #proud of myself #the 1975 #matty healy #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy smut #matty healy fluff #matty the 1975 #bfiafl era #matty healy x reader #matty x you #matty x reader #the 1975 smut #the 1975 fluff #matty healy fic

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inchidentally · 16 hours

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x. com/ln4norris/status/1785872795974652036 thoughts on this?

this is one of those instances where so many ppl have this wildly different take on smth and honestly myself and the moots I talk to didn't even… realize it could be taken any other way ??

I think part of this is also bc some ppl are pretty new to landoscar so I'll put more effort into replying to this than I normally would bc I genuinely didn't and still don't see this as being some dramatic thing that Lando said!

but for better reference, I've actually compiled the full clips from the person who posted them in their stories originally with two clips of Lando and Carlos separately saying how their F1 buddies are NOT the same as their actual private life friendships bc I think it helps contextualize what Lando is talking about here.

I think the funniest misinterpretation about this is ppl taking these Shared Activities as indicating deep and meaningful friendships and that therefore Lando doesn't have anything deep or meaningful with Oscar… just bc no padel or golf ?? lasjfgsjla

"we don't do as many things away from the circuit [as Lando does with other drivers like Carlos and Max]"

like. in what world is that him saying anything but … that ?? it's not deep ??

esp when it corroborates what Lando said in that clip about how his relationships with the drivers he’s friends with depend on shared activities and that they’re not his actual close friends the way Max F and all his buddies in London are (he even says in the video above that his friends are mostly in London not Monaco!) and Carlos corroborated the same thing!

so for one thing, the reason he's fine with saying this is because he doesn't see it as some huge thing that he doesn't happen to have with Oscar ?? bc it's not some deep meaningful thing that he hangs with other drivers sometimes outside of F1! they're buddies sure but they're not his private life friends. that's normal and healthy !!

but the other thing that's honestly funny is ppl deciding to misinterpret this as either Lando being a callous asshole to Oscar or again, taking rpf too seriously and thinking "yaayyy I can pretend Lando is secretly in love with/has a deep bond with/is fucking [insert driver here] and hates Oscar"

and like Carlos, Daniel and Lando literally have identical bromance formats with each other and other drivers which makes the whole rpf competition thing so hilariously dumb?? they all do the common hobbies thing, the playing gay for laughs thing, the posting every interaction to social media for fan engagement thing, the roughhousing physicality thing - all with at least 3-5 other drivers. and when you count up the like rpf ship points that these people use to say which one is "better" then m@xiel shits all the way on dand0 for bonding and being mutually invested and charl0s absolutely dunks on carland0 for gay physicality and mutual affection and norrib0n comes along and reminds ppl that Alex remains a hero to Lando and Lando still gets starry eyes over him in a way he never will for Carlos or Daniel etc etc etcccc

all of which still end up paling in comparison to the actual, deep relationships these guys have with their girlfriends and with their private life friends! the idea that Lando will ever love a male friend the way he does Max F is like going to a rakes lying down park and stamping around to get hit in the face repeatedly like why would you bother to be that stupid bffr

[sidenote that I am SO glad for Lando to say smth like this video if it drives those fans away from landoscar. no joke. we do NOT want them here and we do NOT want them treating Lily the way they treat Heidi and Rebecca and treated Luisa and Isa. please stay in carland0 and dand0 and whatever else with that l@rry stylins0n misogynistic, closeted gay men as a fetish shit]

the reality is that if Lando was just meh about Oscar and disinterested in spending any more time with him than he needed to then why would he even point this out ? why would he bother to point out - with even kind of an exasperated pout in his voice - that Oscar isn't interested in anything they can spend time together doing if he… doesn't want to spend time with Oscar anyway ??

exactly asfgsajgflagf

and for ppl who are new, literally the reason a lot of us are so Compelled is precisely bc Lando and Oscar don't follow the cookie cutter bromance format and their respect and interest in each other doesn't rely on common activities or playing into fan PR. they're literally the anti-PR partnership not bc they hate each other or have drama but bc every member of their team says how much they've bonded as drivers and that every time we get content of them together they're beaming at each other and seem to have all these cute little in-jokes and softness. but none of it is for show! none of it jumps off the screen or has them knowingly trying to bait fans!

their entire dynamic is for their own benefit alone and both of them have said how happy they are to have their future together settled for so many years. and the whole vibe of landoscar fandom is that we were all fine with the idea of them just being work friends! then Silverstone happened and the Austin filming happened etc etc. and now we're all watching it and writing fic and making gifs and edits bc landoscar is gentle and gradual and sweet and boyish and genuine.

it's been this gradual little dance between two guys who each have a unique preoccupation with each other but they don't do any of the usual blokey things to force a friendship. Lando's fixations on Oscar's name and his hair and how he's taller and bigger than him and the weirdly horny verbal burps that come out aren't something he does with any of his other driver friends. Oscar is so chilled about other drivers and doesn't even do the whole hero worship thing, yet his internet history about Lando is it's own extremely unique thing that has carried over as his teammate in a way he's never been about another driver.

they don't roughhouse or make fun of each other or push each other's buttons for fun and they don't even raise their voices around each other ?? everything is so gentle and not macho at all ! Lando strangely feels awkward and looks right at Oscar to explain why he diverted to visit Daniel with Martin as a spontaneous unplanned thing even though Oscar wasn't even in Australia anymore when that happened and Oscar didn't even feel like it needed to be explained! Oscar learns and adapts to what Lando feels sensitive about and needs some help with and sometimes even keeps an eye out for his physical well being.

and I think something that has kind of been missed entirely is that the context for the latest video was Lando saying how he's always been the youngest or least experienced in a driver friendship dynamic and - as he's said many times before! - he finds the idea of having to be the older experienced leader not at all comfortable!

which leads to smth a lot of us have always found the sweetest part of the 814 dynamic, the fact that Lando realized early on that he doesn't have to Try with Oscar and he can just exist in his feelings with Oscar and Oscar does not push and he does not get annoyed or weird or offended! and that means that Lando is yes, free to be the full range of bratty to sweetheart and everything in between bc Oscar will just smile at him and be patient. but !! it also means that unless Lando uses his words or takes charge, Oscar will remain in that quiet patient position in their dynamic and won't presume to take charge.

so Lando wishes Oscar would be the older one and take the initiative and now he's in a pickle where he's saying they only don't hang out bc Oscar won't share an interest with him and you can see for a second he knows what he's saying isn't true bc they all talked on a fan stage about a padel competition between Williams and McLaren and he remembers inviting Oscar out to golf at the last minute one time and that Oscar only declined bc he doesn't know how to play and didn't want to hold everyone up but ugh !!! like that is SUCH a Lando situation to get himself into and to somehow be mad at Oscar about <3<3

but ever since Oscar arrived with very little fanfare and decided not to draw too much attention to himself until literally recently, when the Alpine drama was finally firmly behind him, he's been so intent on showing his deference to Lando and even as lately as the place swap in Melbourne that he fully understands the driver dynamics within the team and respects it. and the thing is that Oscar genuinely is so happy to wait and see what Lando wants or needs that it would never remotely occur to him to push or insert himself into Lando's social life unless invited!

so yes, being a fan of landoscar is just like this! it'll never be the PR friendly bromance or the l@rry stylins0n conspiracy theory.

and yep weirdly enough for how so many ppl are taking it, this video for us is so sweet bc Lando's publicly muddling around about why won't Oscar do a mutual interest with him but also already having admitted that he's not good at taking the role that he needs to and pulling Oscar along into his social life the way Carlos, Daniel, Max etc have always done with him - all while Oscar is oblivious and doesn't think anything is even wrong ! and oh boy, Oscar being too literal and not being the type to be pushy ends up assuming he's doing the right thing by not trying to invite himself along to anything with Lando!

like, this is how it goes! if you want the whole bromance catering precisely to your ship needs OR you're hunting for huge drama and simmering resentments that turn into huge drama then this is NOT the place for you lasfgalfg

don't get me wrong I eat up the bromances and the doomed drama partnerships too but I just don't find them worth writing all these stupid posts about like I do w landoscar bc those partnerships are what you see is what you get. apparently what gets me going is The Yearning and The Miscommunication.

#inchreplies #landoscar #twinklaren #mctwinks #apparently ppl are posting wank in the main tags so I'm sticking this in there for counterbalance saflgjsal #mine

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immediateobsession · 1 day

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Wolfstar Microfic: May Prompt 1 - Accidental Eavesdropping

Word count: 734 @wolfstarmicrofic

The fact that soundproofing spells weren’t built into the four-posters was embarrassing for the entire school, honestly. You’d think they’d come standard these days.

James was sure Peter would have loved to hide his homesickness that first year. Though coaxing him out of the bed to talk through his feelings had been the beginning of them all trusting one another. While Remus had been the first to master the spell, they could still tell when it had been an especially bad moon, even without the painful-sounding grunts and deep breathing escaping the closed curtains. Sirius would have used it to cover the sound of James snoring, something that had become worse starting third year.

“Honestly mate! I’m starting to believe that your mother is an erumpent.” Sirius had said one morning, bleary-eyed and astonishingly tousled.

“You’ve met my mum,” James had replied.

“And she’s lovely,” Remus had chimed in, looking from Sirius to James and back again, dark circles under his eyes. “You should hear yourself, truly. Can’t be healthy.”

Now, by their sixth year, they’d all mastered silencing and soundproofing and privacy spells. But with the benefit of time and familiarity, they weren’t often used. Peter was more homesick at home than Hogwarts, James’s father had recommended a potion for his snoring, and Remus’s bad moons were fewer and further between. And the conversations often went late into the night; better to leave the beds unspelled and fall asleep talking.

And so it was that James, having taken a blow from a bludger—light enough that Madam Pomfrey told him to rest in his dorm, though forbidding him from the week’s practices—found himself in bed in the middle of a sunny Saturday. Light shone through the windows in unfamiliar ways this time of day and, the pounding in his head only slightly better with Madam Pomfrey’s ministrations, he drew his curtains.

He woke, dozily, to dim maroon and amber light within the curtains, and footsteps without.

“Peter?” It was Remus.

“Chess club,” replied Sirius.

“James?”

“Bludger. He’s in the Hospital Wing. Fine though.”

He was too drowsy to correct Sirius. The pulled curtains might have been a giveaway, but he often left them closed, diving through them in the morning and before bed. There was silence for a time, and he thought they might have left. James nearly fell asleep again.

“About last night,” started Remus. He sounded nervous. James was suddenly wide awake. Last night?

Last night they’d been out after curfew, first under the cover of the cloak (Peter as a rat, for space, though they were still nuts to butts) until Remus broke away, claiming the crouching was hurting his neck. Sirius snapped at him about Madam Pomfrey, but by that point they were far enough from the tower and Mrs. Norris that Phase 2 of the plan engaged. With a sigh, James handed the map to Sirius and they’d gone four different directions. Everything had seemingly gone to plan. Until Remus and Sirius hadn’t shown up in the dorm by the arranged time. Peter and James had fallen asleep uneasily, only to find them in their beds in the morning. Sirius didn’t mention anything at breakfast before practice, and the three of them had left Remus sleeping. The moon was coming, and he needed it.

What had happened last night?

“Look, Moony, we don’t have to talk about it. It was stupid.”

James propped himself up on his elbows, trying not to rustle the bedsheets. Talk about what?

“It wasn’t.”

“You—what?”

“It wasn’t stupid. Well, maybe the part where we didn’t lock the door—”

“Lucky that cat’s afraid of dogs,” Sirius said darkly.

“—but I’m sick of pretending I don’t feel this way.” Remus continued. “I think you are, too.”

Sirius paused, hesitant. “So you don’t want to be just friends?”

“I don’t think friends do what we did last night.” Remus was firm, a hint of a laugh creeping into his voice. “At least, I don’t want to touch any of my other friends like that.”

“I don’t want you to, either.”

“Only you.”

“Only me.”

Silence again. James strained to hear, then smiled widely at sounds that were distinctly not friendly. And then he heard Remus moan. Under his breath, he cast a quick spell to block out any further noises from coming through the curtains.

Upon further reflection, maybe the silencing spells should become standard practice again.

#wolfstar microfic #wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #remus lupin and sirius black #baby’s first fic #marauders era

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like-if-a-bad-idea-was-a-girl · 2 days

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So I wrote, I guess fanfiction(?) about @puppygirllaika 's story Transition Diary of a Sex Doll, she had no hand in writing this it's just my interpretation and I'm posting it here with her consent.

It takes the form of a journal update from the pov of Andie several years later explaining in detail how she goes about looking after her doll.

Obviously everything you read here is fantasy and for entertainment only. The only TW I'd add to the list on the original story is I talk about calories at one point very briefly.

Hi all, this is Andie. I've had a ton of requests to let or make Jane update this. First if all 'Jane' is a dead name now, my doll doesn't have a name anymore. Second I have given it the opportunity to do so and it has declined. So here I am several years later to give you an idea of what its existence is like now and how I go about looking after it. I'm doing this, finally, because I feel like if I can help others either look after their new doll or figure out their feelings then I should. So here goes I guess

Bedsores: I can't have my doll getting infected, it'd be less useful for me. But this is a two birds one stone situation because I always need something to do with my hands and touching flesh is especially rewarding, so whenever I'm watching TV I have it on my lap and kneed the flesh where it tends to lay

Voice: originally it wanted full vocal chord removal so it'd be silent but I changed the surgery to suit me better, it now has only partial use of its voice, just enough so my doll moans when I fuck it and screams when I cut or hit it

Mind: if my doll lost touch with reality it'd start reacting to things that aren't real and I need it to be quiet when not in use so I have to keep it sane. So every day I prop it on the couch surrounded by stuffed toys and put the TV on for it. Sometimes I put on horror movies so it can practice screaming and looking scared, sometimes porn so it can practice moaning and crying out, or sometimes just nature documentaries. And I make sure I take it out of the house at least once a month, sometimes to a hookup so we can both use it, or camping or on a road trip.

Muscles: I need my doll to be able to clench around me and move its neck enough to give me head so I can't let its muscles atrophy. So i bought a tens unit and i put it on once or twice a week for a few hours to keep the muscles moving properly Skin: I like its skin to be smooth and well looked after because it's a better tactile experience for me and also because bruises look better on nice skin. So I sponge bath it often, scrubbing its skin thoroughly and cleaning all the tricky bits to keep them fresh. Whenever I cut it for the pure pleasure of parting living flesh with a sharp blade, or whenever I bite it so hard I come away with a chunk of flesh, or even when I dig my nails in so deep I carve deep gouges, then I need the first aid kit. I've got rather good at suturing wounds closed and carefully bandaging them, and then once they have healed enough I rub oils and moisturizers into the healing skin to minimize scars. And of course I keep up with its estrogen gell so its skin stays smooth.

Hair: mostly not a big job, the hair on its face it had lasered back when it was pretending to be human, the skin around its pussy was removed by electrolysis prior to the bottom surgery, and the hair on its head I keep just long enough to be useful for gripping so it has a convenient handle

Food/ water: it needs much less of both now, about half a cup of water a day and one meal every second day, it took me a long time to figure out the optimal calorie intake so its boobs would stay nice and full and its belly chub was enough that I can use it as a hold to fuck it. I make it a special all-in-one food so its bones and skin and everything else stays strong and healthy, and I make it in all the flavors it used to love because nutrients are absorbed better when the senses are properly stimulated. And then of course I brush its teeth.

I also bought one of those fancy neural link headsets, mostly for emergency use, because only it can tell me if something feels wrong in its body. But once a year I put the headset on her and force her to be a person for a couple of hours, I know she hates it and it exhausts her but I've told her it's like routine system maintenance and that seems to help. I make her reaffirm her consent for everything that I do to her. I ask her if she has any requests or anything I can do to help her be a better toy. We talk again about the possibility of a lobotomy or something more serious. I ask her if she has anything else she'd like to say. And then I take off the headset and I watch it sigh and relax as the mask falls off, as it stops pretending to be a person.

Between all that, yeah it's a big job looking after my doll properly. But it's mine and I'm careful with what belongs to me, and if I didn't feel like it was worth the effort I would have given it away or sold it by now. There's the obvious sexual uses, but there are lots more. Human bodies have sympathetic nervous systems so it really helps with my anxiety and panic attacks to cuddle it really tight to my chest. Its slow steady heartbeat and measured breathing soothe me, sometimes it hums softly which helps too. And it makes a great therapist, it listens and never talks back and looks at me with those deep loving eyes. Ohhh and of course as a hot water bottle, my feet get so cold at night it's nice having something soft and warm to put them on whilst I sleep, making sure the blanket isn't covering its face.

Thanks for reading, I hope this has helped anyone considering becoming a sex doll or taking on the responsibility of one of their own.

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thevulturesquadron · 1 day

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can i request a rogue and Magneto scene

hold my beer! 🧃

If anything, thank you for asking! It's so nice to see people show more interest in the pair since the new animation came out! There is enough space for everyone in this bubbling cauldron of feels for them so join me, let's marinate together! 💜

While I still prefer their Savage Land encounter in the comics over the animation, I think the new series managed to give a good spin of how they met in the 'Age of Apocalypse' universe.

As for this particular line, the way I see it, it's meant to explain that they were both in a place where their attraction and feelings for each other were not enough to sustain a healthy relationship, and that they both acknowledged it.

Magneto was haunted by his own past. In that shot he is shown dealing with clear signs of ptsd: he's probably having nightmares about the concentration camps, about losing Magda, about losing family. And if we know anything about Magneto is that his anger and pain, his thirst for punishing those that wronged him are a real blocker on the path to his own healing. He refuses to let go of his demons, of his hate because it’s what fuels him and because it's the only way in which he knows how to function. He learned a couple of lessons from his oppressors and he internalised them.

That is what Rogue starts to notice after a while and one scene (a kinder one where he is shown more vulnerable than aggravated) is all that the show needs to deliver in order to let the audience fill in the gaps. The reality of it is that sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, love and care are just not enough; (something that I wish writers for Rogue/Gambit would have also understood a long time ago instead of beating that dead horse and pretending it’s still moving. sorry!) In this case Magneto's fragile mental state could have absolutely overshadowed and even dragged Rogue down. When someone’s own battles end up taking most of the space in a relationship that can be shattering because you love them but you are unable to help them and, worst of all, they can end up taking you down with them.

There is a song by Leonard Cohen that always makes me think of Magneto and Rogue and it goes like this: ‘I was dying to get back home, And you were starting out// They oughta give my heart a medal For letting you go’ - In TAS, same as in Savage Lands, (and to some extent in the Legacy run as well) Magneto had the weight of so much (negative) experience, while Rogue, because of her condition, had a limited understanding of what commitment required. And I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that they both saw that, and, even if it hurt, they recognized that it was for the better to step away from each other. At least at that moment in time.

One of them (Rogue) went and looked for help in an attempt to overcome her struggles (which arguably are of a different, more personal matter). The other… well... based on how Magneto was introduced for the first time in the series, was still finding comfort in dancing with his demons.

#magneto #rogue #rogneto #x men #x men '97 #rogueneto #x men 97 #anna marie #anna marie darkholme #rogue x magneto #marvel #textpost #I love them too much #I'll go walk my dog and try not to cry #I am so happy to share silly thoughts with people and hear their takes as well!

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tocomplainfriend · 3 days

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I think more ppl should take about this: https://twitter.com/helluvareceipts/status/1784974820154683574 Like the hazbin VA's are saying its ok and PREPUBESCENT children should watch hazbin hotel.

and now all those stans have flipped a switch and are like "oh yea, we love kids, this is great for kids, kids should totally watch it and join our fandom and cosplay" after harassing the shit out of minors and being creepy as fuck like insinuating kids can trick people into grooming them.

TW: Rape, SA, Endangering Children

KIDS SHOULDN'T WATCH ADULT MEDIA.

NO YOUR STUPID FUCKING SHOW IS NOTHING COMPARABLE TO HISTORY BOOKS, QUEER PEOPLE, OR WHAT EVER THE FUCK You PRETENDED IT TO BE.

This has sex, SA, r-pe jokes, swearing, drug use, misogyny.

Consuming that country as children is damaging and gross.

Joining a fandom full of porn and other adult content, and uwuing r-pist is not a healthy scenario or a kid.

Kids need sex ed- not the stupid show that says sex jokes every second. Sex ed is to tell children things like "if someone touched you here is bad tell someone, ask for help here" or "your period is going to happen-" shit like that. The show is nothing compared to any of this asshole.

Want to find queer media for a child? Great SHOW THEM A CHILDREN SHOW, NOT AN ADULT ONE. Just make the kid what Craig of the Creek, or the Owl house.

WTFFFFFFF

This person shouldn't be a parent. The kids are around 9 btw.

#vivziepop critical #hazbin hotel critical #vivziepop critique #helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss critique #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critique #vivziepop criticism #tw sa #tw abuse #tw rape

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inamindfarfaraway · 2 days

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What are your thoughts on Duela Dent? Specifically her Pre-Crisis backstory—before she was retconned to not even being related to Harvey for Some Reason. I think there could be some interesting themes about generational trauma and how his own childhood severely impacted Harvey’s relationship with his own daughter.

Harvey and Gilda having a kid who becomes a superhero to try to redeem her heritage is a great concept, and like a lot of great concepts, DC dropped it down the drain. But that’s what fanon is for! There’s so much you can explore with Duela. If I were to remake her myself, I’d do away with the whole Joker’s Daughter and Harlequin identities, at least after the initial phase of her trying to get Batman’s attention by pretending to be other supervillains’ daughter; and instead have her reflect Harvey and Two-Face’s themes of duality and justice. Like, maybe her heroic identity has a Lady Justice theme with a symbol of scales, a sword for a weapon and a tied domino mask with coloured lenses to mimic a blindfold. Or maybe she defiantly avoids all things duality-related to disown her father’s evil legacy, only to later incorporate her own version of it as she accepts him as a part of her. It doesn’t feel right to have her so associated with the Joker and similar to Harley Quinn when she isn’t even related to them, especially when they’re both very popular and present in DC already (in the Joker’s case, far more than he deserves). Let’s keep her a Dent first and foremost.

Anyway, onto the relationships! I like the idea that Harvey and Gilda wanted kids and them trying before the acid attack and turning out to have succeeded after the dad is a crime lord or in Arkham Asylum is so perfectly tragic. Maybe Harvey “Definitely Not Hanging on by a Thread” Dent wants to be a dad partly, subconsciously to prove to himself that he can be the opposite of his father, to create the ultimate proof that he isn’t doomed to fail and suffer and ruin everything he touches, that he’s capable of having a healthy, happy family and can handle his C-PTSD just fucking fine. In essence, to ‘redeem’ and stick it to his own terrible childhood and paternal heritage. The cycle of generational trauma can’t have that much power over him if he breaks it, can it? No more power than Gotham’s cycle of violence and corruption will have once he, Bats and Gordon take the streets back for the people! A nice work/personal life parallel that mirrors how Bruce doesn’t stop thinking like Batman when he takes the cowl off. But then the trial happens. And then Gilda misses her period. And now Harvey, unable to find a way out of perpetuating Gotham’s vicious cycle, is an absent father with an ever-growing criminal record who perpetuates his familial one. He passes that whole toxic mindset down to his child. He loves her so much and hates that he’s failing her! It’s just that you can’t hate yourself into a better person, so the ‘Oh God, I’m becoming my father’ stress on top of everything else wrong with him actually makes him spiral lower faster.

Two-Face, I believe, loves Gilda as much as Harvey does (though she doesn’t seem to love him back). I’d imagine he loves Duela too. I bet Duela is the only thing both he and Harvey can ignore the coin for. Two-Face loves in a particularly “If anything happens to her, I will kill everyone in Gotham and then myself” way. Of course, he makes things happen to her. Growing up with your dad, or his alter or whatever, committing murder and terrorism and such on the news is not fun. She could easily be bullied because of Harvey and Two-Face. So she would really resent them, especially the more immoral Two-Face, before gaining a more objective, nuanced understanding of them and struggling to reconcile how awful her daddy issues have felt her entire life with the causes of them being sympathetic and not beyond rehabilitation. When she becomes a superhero, does she avoid Gotham to avoid them? Does she never go on patrol while Two-Face is at large? Or does she seek the system out for catharsis, or the desperate, painful need to know her father in any capacity? Do they have incredibly awkward fights? The drama writes itself, but there’s a lot of comic potential too.

Duela: Dad, for fuck’s sake, go to therapy.

Two-Face: That’s my girl! We’re so proud of you, sweetheart! I mean, the way you took out my best muscle, that was amazing.

Duela: (rolls her eyes) Therapy. Now.

Two-Face, still robbing the bank: Right, right. In a minute. And don’t stay out too late again. It’s a school night. A little bit of financial redistribution really doesn’t have to be your problem, you know. Just saying.

Henchman: I didn’t know you had a daughter, boss. Seeing you act like this is so -

Two-Face: Finish that sentence and you’ll get a closed-casket funeral.

Duela: Dad!

Two-Face: Sorry. It can be open casket.

Duela: (sighs) Put your gun down and stop stealing the public’s money, or I will start vaping to cheer myself up.

Two-Face: Alright, Jesus! I’m coming!

Does he kill innocent people, sells drugs and guns and torture the Batkids without losing any sleep over it? Yes. Is he absolutely horrified by the thought of his little girl being unhappy? Also yes. Will he stop doing the aforementioned activities that she’s unhappy about? …Later. After she’s done all her homework.

Everything about Gilda is underdeveloped in canon, but she’s usually depicted as unconditionally loving Harvey despite his crimes. Having a child to worry about complicates that. The Dent system are in no condition to coparent. They might even be dangerous, if not directly. Completely cutting your husband out of your life is hard and could hurt your daughter, but so could taking her to visit him in Arkham every weekend. Offering your heart is one thing, exposing your kid’s is another. The conspicuously on-theme name Duela sticks out to me. Did Harvey, newly fixated on duality, get to name her? Was that a concession Gilda gave him while they were arranging for him to have little to no involvement in her life? Does Gilda tell Duela stories about the good in Harvey and their past together? How comfortable is she discussing who he’s become? Is she willing to forgive, or perhaps rather put aside, every atrocity the system could possibly commit except deliberately hurting their daughter? What happens if somehow one of them crosses that line?

One thing I don’t need to question is that Duela is the ultimate mother’s girl. If a villain threatens Gilda to get to her, so help them. She might have no interest in law because look how well taht career turned out for, but be an avid artist, in Gilda’s field of sculpting and/or different mediums. Art can be very therapeutic, after all. And Duela undoubtedly needs therapy. (“I’ll go back to Arkham if you talk to the school counsellor tomorrow!” “I’m not killing people!” “That’s no excuse!”) You could have a fun contrast between her having an archetypical creative type’s disorganized, expressive, eccentric personality as a civilian and her serious vigilante persona being all about rationality, clarity and balance. Chaos and order in one. Her costume and equipment could even be black and white while her art and casual clothes are brightly coloured.

#this was meant to be short #now i want to write a duela dent-centric comic run #i can’t even draw i hate drawing but. the visuals you could do with these ideas #the symbolism the motifs the colours #duela dent #harvey dent #two-face #gilda dent

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fearthhereaper · 7 months

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One of the biggest HotD missed opportunities is not exploring the trauma that comes from having to marry your immediate family.

Not exploring how Targ women are raised to think of their brothers as their future husbands.

How damaging it is when the lines of what's familial and what's romantic blur.

Helaena grew up knowing she'll marry her older brother, never given an option to even think of finding love somewhere else.

Aegon not wanting to marry his sister but he is a Targaryen and as a Targaryen there isn't much of a choice in it anyway.

Aemond who says he will marry his sister because it would be his duty to do so. Who doesn't even understand how strange and wrong that is - the fact that he sees marrying his sister as just another duty to fulfill.

The fact that we don't see how Helaena (arguably the biggest victim in that situation) feels about it all is just criminal.

The fact that we were never showed Helaegon getting married is such a missed opportunity because it would give an audience a way to understand just how disturbing that Targaryen custom is.

Another missed opportunity is not seeing Helaena pregnant and/or giving birth.

But I especially, ESPECIALLY, hate the way the show implied that it was all Alicent's doing purely because it means that now that highly traumatic experience of not only children but also siblings getting married became an Alicent issue and not an issue of hundred years of one family's abusive blood supremacy tradition.

#house of the dragon #hotd #alicent hightower #aegon ii targaryen #helaena targaryen #aemond targaryen #team green #i hope it's something they can at least try to explore in s2 #i would love to talk about daemon x rhaenyra #but i won't #because i believe that in the show it was made clear that he groomed her #it's just that the audience likes to act dumb #and pretend that what they have is healthy #and true love or whatever other bs

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ivan-fyodorovich-k · 4 months

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I would really like it if the hive mind could move away from the idea that the exception disproves the rule every time

there's such a thing as statistical distribution, the species is made up of unique individuals that nevertheless aggregate into identifiable trends, you can have something be true of most or virtually all people and nevertheless find exceptions. This runs the gamut from effective medical treatments, to the kinds of media people like, to gender roles and expressions, all kinds of things

This Procrustean effort to force everyone to conform to the standard and/or the delusion that the standard is just an axiomatic lie that can be tossed out on a whim are both ridiculous, you can have rules of thumb and broad heuristics that allow for all kinds of exceptions without being falsehoods

#I don't know why it's so hard to hold simultaneously that 1. boys and girls might have identifiable aggregate characteristics #and 2. there can be dramatic variation and exception #and also #the idea that a person is 'differently abled'#no man #I'm sorry #I'm not going to pretend there's no such thing as 'normal'#otherwise what is even illness #oh this person's kidneys work differently #you mean they've shut down?#my brain just works differently #my love if you're incapable of interacting with human beings that's a problem that's not just a harmless variation #some people have two arms and some people have one or none #yes maybe #but it's not unreasonable to expect to find the pair #it's not like it's a 33/33/33 split among one two and no arms #usually if a person doesn't have two arms something happened #I digress #AND I FAIL TO SEE how acknowledging that being able to walk is normal and healthy is incompatible with disability accommodations #put that ramp on the building #I just resent the pressure to lie #or to pretend I don't see what I see

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skinnypaleangryperson · 1 month

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American culture is a living hell where poor working class wage slaves are forced to become psychotic and insane clinging onto a fictional character to pretend like they have a chance at marriage and kids and a family while the very actors that voice the characters are blaring in their face on a screen with their happy rich lives and happy healthy children that the mentally ill and working class will never have. What a living hell of a dystopia

The worst part is how fake it all is. And me, the poor insane person with nothing but characters, is supposed to be the unhinged and embarrassing one for being black pissed about it.

#my voice actor for my character i pretend to have a happy life with for 5 years jusr showed up on my dads screen #AND HE WAS WITH HIS REAL LIFE HAPPY HEALTHY KIDS ILL NEVER HAVE #he was on the screen of my slave wage office job that made me severely depressed and told me i wasnt worthy of a break #and to think his character is all thative had for years genuinely #people like me dont matter #it is inhuman #but no one cares what eccentric insane people think #believe me i know to the grave and beyond #i feel like getting piss drunk

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zo1nkss · 7 months

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No I do not hold sympathy for Izzy, yes I do think he's getting what he deserves, no I d not care that the environment he created by using threats and violence has stopped serving him and is now toxic to his emotional well-being.

Yes I do think he fucked around and found out. No it is not the same as being domestically abused, because he was the one who literally asked for Ed to become the worst most violent version of himself possible and now he wants to cry about it.

Edit: And it doesn't matter if he "fully understood" what he was asking Ed to be. Whether he understood the harm he was causing or not, his actions had consequences. He is a grown adult man. He can handle facing them whether he understood or not. ESPECIALLY consequences for mistreating, belittling, insulting, and threatening HIS BOSS.

When my mother screamed insults in my face and told me to be more like the person she wanted, she got mad at me for fighting back, too. SO did all her little supporters. One of them tried to physically restrain me. So yes. I hope Izzy reaps all the pain he spent season 1 sewing and I hope Ed is the one who gets to dish most of it out.

#Void Rambles #ofmd #izzy critical #I'm also not sorry about it #have all the sympathy you want that's literally fine #but Izzy is not the victim here and pretending he is so you can justify your white tears over Ed's response to his violence is bullshit #I also don't think this is the response Ed SHOULD have #I don't think it's healthy for anyone and I don't want this to seem like I just don't recognize that this is not a healthy response #it's not #it's just that I don't care how it makes IZZY feel to see the person Ed can be when you literally call him slurs to his face #and demand he become more violent for Izzy's own personal satisfaction #I don't CARE if this is not what Izzy expected #he made a choice to be an absolute piece of shit to a man who spent ALL OF SEASON ONE showing him immeasurable grace #thats why its called fuck around and FIND OUT

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heartbreakercupcake · 9 months

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I just wanted to say how much I LOVED the voice acting in this scene, people want to make jokes about Miguel is just being racist here but in this moment you can hear the pain in his voice talking about how he has been "the only one keeping it together" to me he honestly sounds like he was on the verge of tears. (Oscar Isaac is such a good voice actor he really does give his all in any role hes in from what I've seen) you can hear the weight of what he has to bare crushing him.

Again I know the big fandom joke (at lest among black fans (also I am black too)) is that Miguel doesn't like Miles because hes black,(and there is the whole Miguel is kind of a stand in for fans who didn't accept Miles cause...you know why) BUT while I do see that, the fight on the train read to me as Miguel projecting his pain and issues onto Miles, everything hes saying to Miles is really what he thinks about himself I am 100% sure after reading the comics the reason why hes going after him so harshly is cause he sees himself in Miles.

#also #in the movie theres lots of talk about how its hot healthy to try and carry it all on your own #cause you're gonna end up pulling yourself to the breaking point #which is what happened with Miguel #fucker is broken and pretends hes not or thinks its good that he is so others don't have to be #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #also I am black by the by #across the spiderverse

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bunnyb34r · 7 months

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Having a cranky crabby high frustration day and it made me think of something I hadnt in a long time

I was thinking ab how growing up I wasnt allowed to get mad or god forbid have an attitude (yeah having CPTSD and oh being a literal fucking child will do that to you) and how I would have to lie and say I was "just tired" bc that was more acceptable than "I'm fucking mad at you right now and I know that if I say anything about WHY I'm frustrated, you'll get mad back at ME"

And it's like we all knew it was a lie, like ffs let your kids be mad at you sometimes even when you think they have no reason to be! Especially if they have poor emotional regulation!! And for God sake look in the fucking mirror and see that they are reacting how YOU react to anger!

Idk it just made me mad to think ab how kids and teens aren't allowed to be angry or "have an attitude" and then parents wonder why kids act out. Like when you have no healthy outlet to deal with anger you're going to get it out however you can, and suprise grow up into an adult with anger issues! Who fucking knew!

#marquilla #what triggered this was i was frustrated w/ [rc] ab them correcting how i wrote the layout bc if they would just fucking read the plannogra #m on the app then we wouldnt even be having this happen! and i had said something that came off as attitude and she went #'why are you mad 😠' and i said im not im TIRED #my anger issues are so fucking bad lately it's not fucking funny and it's so hard to learn healthy ways to regulate it as an adult #and i was thinking ab how i dont have any coping skills on calming down in general bc i would ignore adults telling me to breathe deep #bc breathing isnt gonna make my problem go away and if i get quiet youre gonna go back to ignoring my problem bc well she stopped crying #so now i can't like take deep. breaths to calm down or count or shit bc my brain is like why so you can fucking pretend whats causing my #problem/emotion doesnt exist?#god i need more therapy

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