#what triggered this was i was frustrated w/ [rc] ab them correcting how i wrote the layout bc if they would just fucking read the plannogra

[bunnyb34r]

Having a cranky crabby high frustration day and it made me think of something I hadnt in a long time

I was thinking ab how growing up I wasnt allowed to get mad or god forbid have an attitude (yeah having CPTSD and oh being a literal fucking child will do that to you) and how I would have to lie and say I was "just tired" bc that was more acceptable than "I'm fucking mad at you right now and I know that if I say anything about WHY I'm frustrated, you'll get mad back at ME"

And it's like we all knew it was a lie, like ffs let your kids be mad at you sometimes even when you think they have no reason to be! Especially if they have poor emotional regulation!! And for God sake look in the fucking mirror and see that they are reacting how YOU react to anger!

Idk it just made me mad to think ab how kids and teens aren't allowed to be angry or "have an attitude" and then parents wonder why kids act out. Like when you have no healthy outlet to deal with anger you're going to get it out however you can, and suprise grow up into an adult with anger issues! Who fucking knew!

#marquilla #what triggered this was i was frustrated w/ [rc] ab them correcting how i wrote the layout bc if they would just fucking read the plannogra #m on the app then we wouldnt even be having this happen! and i had said something that came off as attitude and she went #'why are you mad 😠' and i said im not im TIRED #my anger issues are so fucking bad lately it's not fucking funny and it's so hard to learn healthy ways to regulate it as an adult #and i was thinking ab how i dont have any coping skills on calming down in general bc i would ignore adults telling me to breathe deep #bc breathing isnt gonna make my problem go away and if i get quiet youre gonna go back to ignoring my problem bc well she stopped crying #so now i can't like take deep. breaths to calm down or count or shit bc my brain is like why so you can fucking pretend whats causing my #problem/emotion doesnt exist? #god i need more therapy