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prurientpuddlejumper · 4 years

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A Lipless Face That I Want to Marry, Ch. 7

<- Chapter 6 | Chapter 8 ->

Summary: I gave myself a stomach ache writing this one 🙃

2,961 words

Thirty-two days. Nine surgeries. Twenty blood transfusions.

Sometimes it seemed like just yesterday when everything was going right—you and Frederick were so happy together, his books were selling, your career was flourishing, and he had just asked you to marry him. Sometimes, it felt like a lifetime ago. A state of being so foreign, you wondered if it had even been real, or if you were remembering someone else’s life.

Seasons turned. Cherry blossoms were starting to bloom in the parks around Maryland, and each gust of cool wind carried with it their sweet pink fragrance. The spring air vibrated and sang with life renewed. But where you were headed, the air was stagnant, beige, and sterile.

As the automatic sliding glass doors drew you into the hospital, away from the sun, a piece of your heart withered like a flower. It sank deeper when you considered how the unhappy hours you whiled away in those sterile halls were nothing compared to what Frederick had to endure. He didn’t have the luxury of being able to leave.

Physically, he was beginning to show signs of real improvement. The pneumonia had completely cleared up, and he was starting to receive permanent transplants from the cutting-edge, lab-grown skin created from his own cells. Most of his body was still wrapped up in gauze, but a few places had only received second-degree burns, and those patches were almost back to normal. For the first time since the attack, his odds of not dying were higher than his odds of dying.

Mentally was a different story. His moods grew progressively more sour. With none of his true nemeses at hand to take out his bitterness on, that burden fell upon his nurses, doctors, and upon you—and it was beginning to weigh heavily. At first you didn’t want to see the rift that was forming, even as he cut your visiting hours short in an angry huff, and had fewer and fewer kind words for you. You shoved every fear and frustration into a box at the back of your mind so you could keep smiling. He was just in pain, you kept telling yourself. He just needed time.

You held onto the hope that as he got better, your relationship would return to what it had been before. But he was getting better, and the rift grew wider.

“We’ll still want to wait at least six months to do the procedure, until your infection risk has dropped to baseline levels for a healthy adult, but we’re putting you on the transplant waiting list now,” the doctor explained. She was one of his regular surgeons who had been with him since day one. She wore a white lab coat over blue scrubs, and hid behind a clipboard as she spoke. You liked the that she needed to use the file as a shield—it made her relatable. Always friendly, and clearly a skilled surgeon, but uncomfortable with the heavy emotional talking to patients, especially to Dr. Frederick Chilton, who was always in a bad mood, and always ready with a scathing remark.

But today he had nothing to say. No critique on the hospital’s competence. No casual observations with hidden barbs. Just a silent nod of acknowledgment before turning his head to gaze out the window at the fresh spring flowers, framed by the sea of fake ones you had bought.

Francis Dolarhyde, the Red Dragon, had bitten Frederick’s mouth with such extreme ferocity there was not enough connective muscle left to reconstruct new lips from Frederick’s own tissue. The only option for him to look normal again would be a face transplant—donated facial muscle, skin, and hair from a cadaver—although the doctor explained that the procedure was risky. After taking the transplant, Frederick would be put on immunosurpressant drugs for the rest of his life to prevent rejection, which meant every flu season, or even a coworker with a cold, could turn deadly without careful precaution. But to Frederick, it was worth the risk. He couldn’t bear spending his life being stared at. He couldn’t even stand you looking at the black hole that was his face.

Yet what the doctor explained about the procedure added weight after weight to Frederick’s chest until he felt crushed by despair.

The donated tissue had to be a very close match, or his antibodies would reject the new lips. Unlike receiving a heart or a kidney, his new skin had to be an aesthetic match as well. It could not be from too old a donor, or the skin would lack the proper elasticity. And, unfortunately, most organ donors were not comfortable donating external organs—it ruins the open-casket wake.

So, he could be waiting on a match for a very long time.

You thanked the clipboard-wielding doctor when Frederick remained sulking, not bothering to look up as she left. He adjusted himself slightly to follow a flash of movement—a bird—out the window, and winced as it tugged his unyielding scar tissue. Something tore under his armpit, but he didn’t yelp in pain—he was used to this level of it by now—but his eyes watered.

“At least you can sit up a little bit now. That’s great, isn’t it?” you said in an attempt to cheer him up.

He scoffed, and made no immediate reply.

Years, was all he kept thinking. It could take up to three years to find a match, possibly longer, the doctor said.

“Up to three years or longer,” he growled sarcastically. “She does realize that means nothing? It means any time, or never.”

“I know...”

“But thank god at least I can sit,” he spat bitterly. “A little.”

You were taken aback by his sharp rebuke and fell silent, a cavernous gulf between you though you sat right beside his bed. As you recovered from the sting, however, his words made you smile. He had always been churlish, but recently all of the spirit had been eroded away from his petty attitudes, leaving him defeated and mean. It was nice to hear his churlishness take on a spark of sarcastic sass.

“Don’t lose hope, darling,” you said in an overly-sweet patronizing cadence. “One day you’ll have enough movement back to flip her off.”

He paused, eyes flicking over to you curiously. You had been downtrodden for weeks, too, and he hadn’t expected a joke. He chuckled appreciatively. You wished the good moments lasted longer these days.

It wasn’t as though his life had ended, even if his full cosmetic recovery would take a little longer than he hoped, and even if he was bedridden for several more months. It was that sharp mind and wit that made you fall in love with him, and he still had that. He could keep you entertained for hours discussing some arcane piece of trivia or sharing lurid gossip. Since he was cut off from his normal sources of scuttlebutt, you kept him updated on all the latest rumors you’d learned over dinner with Jack Crawford—about the shitstorm he’d brought down on himself at the FBI when Will Graham went rogue, how Alana and her wife fled the country (but you heard they might be in Cuba), Freddie Lounds being sued again. He always enjoyed hearing about other people’s misfortunes, but today it just made him jealous that you’d been spending time with Jack.

“You have both recently lost a spouse. What comfort you must take in each other,” he insinuated.

“I haven’t lost you, Frederick.”

You went into that sentence thinking you were convincing him that you loved him, but as it closed, you realized you were desperate to convince yourself he wasn’t gone. The more you tried to hold him close, the more you felt him pulling away, and felt a creeping dread that even if he got better, you would lose him. Everything you tried to say to reassure him only made him feel worse, and you wondered if it was your fault. Someone more capable, more empathetic, would know the right things to say. You were a failure. He deserved more.

His professional life, too, hadn’t ended. His injury would barely be a bump in the road to his writing career if he wasn’t so stubborn and prideful. The publisher offered to send a ghostwriter to finish The Dragon Slayer, for which they greedily anticipated a significant boost in sales, considering the author’s headline-making personal involvement in the Red Dragon’s end. Frederick, however, refused to be interviewed by “some insipid amateur.” He claimed they would not understand the nuances of psychology required, and stood firm on the grounds of “artistic integrity,” but the truth was, he did not want anybody else to see him.

His face had not made it into the papers, despite several attempts by Freddie Lounds to sneak into the hospital with a hidden camera, and he did not want any more of the world than absolutely necessary to know the extent of what the Dragon had done to him. He did not want to see the shock in the writer’s eyes at seeing his disgusting lipless teeth. He did not want a stranger to see him inevitably start drooling the longer he spoke—and he hated repeating himself to people who could not understand his impaired diction.

No. Publishing The Dragon Slayer would have to wait, though the possibility of another author beating him to the punch bothered him nearly as much as his missing lips. After an entire month recuperating, he thought he would at least be able to type again, but he could barely move his gauze-mittened fingers.

The world had not forgotten him, evidenced by the occasional fan-mail the publisher forwarded to him. You would bring them in and read them—a lot of get-well-soons, and entreaties to hear his side of the Francis Dolarhyde story. A lot of them were from professionals and students in the psychiatric field, pointing out errors or suggesting contradictory theories. Those were the most fun to read, because Frederick would come alive with indignation, debating with the letter as if its sender could hear him, sometimes making you send a response, seething with superiority as he dictated.

In those brief moments, it was like having the old Frederick back. Then a nurse would come in and need to run a test, or feed him, or something else that embarrassed him back into his shell of anger. Or he would grow too animated and rip one of his grafts, and his zeal for argument would end precipitously with a scream, and a surgeon.

As you shuffled a handful of addressed envelopes and started reading through the latest batch of strangers wishing him a healthy recovery, you were struck by a thought.

“Why haven’t I met your family?”

The wind caught in his throat. His scabbed-over nostrils flared before he answered, “I doubt that is what the letter reads.”

“They never visit, even when… even when you could have died. My parents even flew in that first week, when they heard. They helped me with the flowers. Why do your fans send more condolences than your family?”

Gritting ones teeth does not come easily when ones teeth are constantly bared by default, but Frederick grit his teeth. “My mother is old. She can hardly be expected to travel.”

A plausible answer, but not the full story. His discomfort with the subject only spurred your curiosity. All the time you’d been together, you had simply accepted Frederick as an individual, with no need for a childhood backstory or a group of others sharing his features and last name to complete him. You’d gathered, in snippets, that their relationship was not the best, and were satisfied to leave it alone. But he nearly died. The nurse who asked you about his next of kin looked so confused when you had no one you could contact, and it made you feel foolish for never having asked.

“It’s just, we’re going to be married.”

“So?” he said, a hard, mocking edge to his voice.

“So, if I’m going to be part of your family, isn’t it weird that I’ve never met them?”

Instead of answering directly, he snarled, “Look somewhere else.”

“I wasn’t staring!”

“Look. Somewhere. Else.”

You huffed, and sat back in your uncomfortable plastic chair whose unpadded seat bruised your butt after countless hours, crossing your arms. The box full of anger was overstuffed. You shoved its contents down like clothing in a suitcase to squeeze one more sting of hurt inside, but it began to overflow. “I swear I don’t stare at your face any more than I used to,” you muttered aloud what was supposed to remain a thought, “but now every interaction needs to be a carefully calculated balance between not looking at you enough to feel gawked at, and not not-looking enough to make you feel like I’m averting my eyes from your horrible face.” At the word “horrible,” you wiggled your fingers and wavered your voice the way the vampire running a children’s haunted house would say the word “spooky.”

“I am sorry my suffering is so inconvenient for you,” he said in clipped, cold syllables, and you knew you’d pushed him too far.

“I’m just saying, you know I don’t care about your face. You’re acting the same way as when you got shot, and you got over that. You know I still think you’re beautiful. Can’t you give me some credit and just stop freaking out?”

Being stuck in a hospital bed with limited range of motion, he had few resources with which to express anger, but his chest rose and fell and his breath hissed like steam through his nose. “You...” he seethed. “You never care about the pain I suffer, do you? You, in your fantasy world where you accept my injuries and make it all better—you have no idea what it is like to be violated. To have your body ripped apart! It is not a thing one ‘gets over.’ Beautiful? That is rich coming from one who would not know how to tuck in a shirt without my guidance. It must be lovely in whatever quaint children’s storybook your mind inhabits, but in the real world, appearance matters. It matters to me. Your fetish does not stop every sane individual from seeing ugliness. You believe I should be delighted to have a partner who calls ugliness beauty and trivializes my grief? I should have had you analyzed years ago—my judgment was compromised by my relationship with you. I could not see. Your attachment increases with my physical deterioration. You prefer me broken.”

“That… that isn’t true! How dare—”

“You could barely tolerate me before Abel Gideon took my kidney. I was shot in the face and suddenly you professed your love. What shall it be this time? Ah, yes—marriage. You must be elated.” He rolled the words over his tongue in that distinctively upper-class way that was almost musical, yet bone-cuttingly brutal.

“Stop. This had nothing to do with it—you proposed to me!”

His eyes had been flashing with energy behind the bandages as you argued, but all the anger in them vanished like a message written in steam on a bathroom mirror. They took on a dull, blank glaze.

“Then I take it back,” he said. You wished you believed he meant the accusation. His head shifted toward you, but his dull stare seemed to look right through you to the door. “The engagement is over.”

Your throat dried up. “You don’t mean that,” you said, voice barely above a whisper.

“I will not be with one who gains pleasure from my mutilation. Get out of my room. There are some amputees over in the rehabilitation ward; go explore your fetishes elsewhere.”

He couldn’t be serious, and yet there was no hint of sarcasm or hyperbole in his flat tone. He meant it. You were surprised to find that you weren’t sad. Your hands began trembling uncontrollably, the tiny convulsions working their way from your extremities to your shoulders, tightly clenching in your gut, but it wasn’t sadness. The overfilled box tore open at the seams, exploding its pressurized contents, and weeks of frustration shattered against the walls and cascaded out over the floor.

“Fine!” you stood up from the hated plastic chair so sharply it scraped across the laminate floor and tipped over backward. “I can’t put up with a second more of this, anyway! I can’t keep walking on eggshells waiting for you to snap—if this is the way it’s going to be from now on, then marrying you would be a nightmare.”

If you had seen him flinch as if your words had physically wounded him, then you might have stopped shouting. A surge of pity might have overwhelmed you, and you might have broken down sobbing. He might not have been able to go through with it, then. Seeing you blubbering with heavy, hot tears rolling down your face, he might have said he was sorry, like he wished he could have said if only he were not so much like his father.

But you were too angry to look at him, and you didn’t see him flinch.

So a moment later when your back was in the doorway, instead of I’m sorry, he said, “Keep the ring. Sell it, and get a new apartment. Do not come back.”

“Fuck you!”

#Frederick Chilton x reader #frederick chilton #Raúl Esparza #hannibal #angst #my writing #and now as a reward I finally get to read beccabarba's Chilton fic :D

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alex51324 · 4 years

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Interesting article (WaPo, but no paywall) about coronavirus mutations. The TL;DR:

Yes, the coronavirus is mutating.

No, this is not a thing to panic about.

This is one of those things where knowing how evolution by natural selection actually works comes in handy. Everything mutates all the time, viruses included, and since viruses have short reproductive cycles, they mutate a lot.

All mutations are random, and most don’t change anything about the organism. Most of the mutations that have been observed in the coronavirus are in that category. Tracking them isn’t a waste of time, because when scientists can distinguish different strains, they can learn a lot about how the virus spreads.

The mutation that’s attracting a lot of headlines right now (it’s September 26, 2020, for those reading this in the future) does change something: it makes one of the little spikes on the outside of the virus a different shape. This difference might help the virus have an easier time attaching itself to human cells. This, in turn, might help the virus to spread more easily from person to person.

What scientists are observing right now is that, when this strain is introduced into an area, it soon starts showing up in a lot of samples from that area. That tells us that the strain is very good at out-competing other strains of the novel coronavirus. That’s the basic building block of evolution--a mutation becomes more common because it gives the organism that has it some advantage over other members of its own kind.

It might also be better at infecting people--at launching itself like a tiny space-ship and colonizing a whole new human being. They’re not totally sure about that part yet--it’s clear that the mutation gives the virus an advantage, but it doesn’t necessarily follow that the advantage in question necessarily affects us.

It kind of looks like it might--they’re also seeing higher viral loads in people that have this particular strain--but, here’s the key thing, that doesn’t mean that the new strain makes people sicker (or likelier to die or have serious complications) than the old strain.

A virus doesn’t have any evolutionary interest in evolving to kill its host--the opposite, in fact. It does happen, sometimes, that viruses get more virulent, because mutations are random, but a virus that kills its host--or makes its host too sick to interact with other potential hosts--will leave fewer offspring than one that keeps you up on your feet and giving it lots of opportunities to colonize your coworkers, classmates, people you sit next to on the bus, etc. And the driver of evolution is how many offspring you leave, which means that a virus “wants” to infect more people, but it doesn’t “want” to make the people it does infect, any sicker than it has to.

In conclusion, it looks like the coronavirus is evolving to be somewhat more contagious. That’s not great, but it’s pretty standard for a virus, or any disease-causing organism, to evolve in that way, so this is not surprising or terrifying. More importantly, it is not in any way a harbinger of the virus evolving to be more deadly. That could still happen, but it would be a whole separate thing from what’s being observed right now.

#coronavirus #evolution #science!

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ahiddenpath · 5 years

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Seven Years of Writing Fanfics

I’m being a little premature- I’ll celebrate seven years of writing as ahiddenpath in September- but I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I’ve learned. Please read on if you want to hear about the writing habits I wish I had when I started in 2012, and about the habits I wish I didn’t have back then!

I’ll also be talking about my writing plans in general. Check it out below the cut!

1.) Make a story bible.

A story bible is a reference document for your story. Before you post a new fic, I strongly suggest creating one. For digimon specifically, this means making some choices before you begin:

Which version of the character names will you use? Do you intend to remain consistent with this choice? For example, I’ve seen a lot of writers use Japanese character names and English digimon names. Will you use official honorifics? Custom honorifics? Will you use terminology from one translation of the show, or a mashup?

Make these choices upfront, create reference charts, and remain consistent.

After that, you can also keep references for topics such as characterization details (if you say that Bob’s favorite drink is coffee in one chapter and tea twenty chapters later, be prepared for a flood of comments pointing out the inconsistency), setting details, and anything that you don’t want to forget. Spending half an hour hunting down a silly detail instead of writing is a huge bummer.

Growing Up with You is my worst offender of ‘problems a story bible would have fixed.’ It’s got... every issue you can imagine, lol! For example, pairing Hikari with Gatomon (instead of Tailmon), using ‘digitama’ and ‘digimental’ interchangeably in the 02 arc, using the English terms for evolution stages while using Japanese names for other things, confusing Bakemon and Bakumon, it’s a mess. It’s so bad that a complete, painstaking edit is the only thing that can fix it... Which is enough to make me weep, given that the story is over 400K words long.

Organize yourself before you start. Here’s a link to some printable Digimon Adventure and Digimon Adventure 02 references.

2.) Avoid Longfics.

I know I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. NEVER PUBLISH A NEW STORY WITHOUT HAVING AN ENDING IN SIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING.

I’m not saying you can’t write huge, epic tales. God knows I’m unlikely to stop doing that. But, if I could go back in time, I would separate Growing Up with You into four fics. It would be something like this:

Growing Up with You I: Childhood

Growing Up with You II: Digimon Adventure

Growing Up with You III: Liminal Space

Growing Up with You IV: Digimon Adventure 02

I’m sure some arcs would be longer than others, but this way, I’d have four stories that are roughly 100K words long.

A lot of folks just... don’t want to read a 400K story. It’s intimidating, man! Although it varies by genre, the average word count for a fiction novel aimed at adults is 80K words. That 400K fic is like FIVE NOVELS, DUDE!!!! That’s a commitment for readers!

Shorter stories are more reader friendly, but there’s also a huge benefit to you, the writer. Separating your longfic into multiple stories allows you more opportunities to write towards an ending. Breaking your story into digestible chunks decreases the writing paralysis that comes with being nowhere near the ending. It also cuts back on meandering chapters that don’t carry the narrative closer to that ending. Furthermore, thinking of the story in arcs before you start writing forces you to plan more... Something I never did in 2012!!!!

Best of all, once you reach the end of an arc, you can take a break before launching the next one. It’s hard on a writer to continue endlessly producing without a break. It’s hard on a reader to hit the final available chapter in a fic and wonder if it will ever update again. But if you complete an arc and take a break to plan and write a few buffer chapters, the tension and impatience is gone for your audience, and you get to breathe. It’s a win-win!

3.) Avoid long chapters.

Back in 2012, I often posted chapters that were 10K words and longer! Here are some benefits to posting shorter updates more frequently:

-Shorter wait times between updates.

Let’s say your planned chapter is 15K words long. I could update my story once in the span of a month, or I could break the chapter into three parts and update three times in a month! This keeps readers happy and interested in your work.

Over time, you’ll develop the ability to create sub arcs/movements, finding spots to break them up into separate updates. This also creates natural moments for cliffhangers, tension, and mini resolutions. It’s a great way to insert more moods and movement into your narrative.

-More exposure for your story.

Every time you update your fanfic, it gets pushed to the top of the update list on fanfiction.net or AO3. The more you update it, the more hits your story will receive, thanks to all the extra time it will spend on the first page of newly-updated fics.

-Easier editing.

I do my best editing when I’m working with 5K words or fewer at a time. Personally, I can only focus on close editing for about 90 minutes before I start missing mistakes and forgetting details. I could edit a 10K word update in two sittings, but then it’s possible to forget about details and moods from the previous editing session! So, unless your story bible is really hardcore, your editing process could benefit from shorter updates.

-More feedback/support

I have a few amazing readers who leave some form of feedback/appreciation for me whenever I post a new chapter. A supported writer is a happy, productive writer! More updates means more chances for feedback and support from your readers, which in turn can fuel and direct your writing! Again, everyone wins! (Thanks, guys, I love you!).

4.) Publish your story on both fanfiction.net and AO3.

Why reach one audience when you could potentially reach two? There are plenty of readers who only use one platform or the other.

At this point, it would be ridiculously difficult to post my 70+ chapter fanfics to AO3... Do yourself a favor and post to both from the start!

5.) Remember: writing and editing are two separate processes.

Guys guys guys guys guys. Lemme be real here.

I used to painstakingly write a first draft, check for spelling/grammar errors on my word processor, and then post it.

Here’s what my process looks like now: word vomit a first draft, do an edit in my word processor, print the edited draft, make edits on paper, transfer edits to word processor, print new draft, make edits on paper, transfer edits to word processor, final read through, post

If my new method looks more time intensive... In a way, it is, but in a way, it isn’t? I bang out that first rough draft without a care in the world, where I used to agonize over every word. Agonizing is not fun. Word vomiting can produce some, ah, discouraging results, but it feels like creative play. It’s fun, it’s flexible, it’s fast... And you can fix it later through the magic of editing. And if you’re having fun, you’ll keep writing. If you’re agonizing, you’ll find yourself making excuses to avoid writing.

Plus, my current method produces tighter, more deliberate prose, while maintaining the freedom and energy of word vomiting... And avoiding the angst and doubt. This is my best defense against writing paralysis and my greatest weapon in the battle of producing words.

My method can’t be right for everyone, but I do encourage you to try it out, especially if your writing hasn’t been joyful lately.

6.) Don’t run too many fics at one time.

I encourage writers to have one longer fic open and one shorter fic, preferably of different tones/settings/main characters. This gives you a way to keep writing when you’re sick of one project without bogging you down.

You will likely have some readers who love everything you do (god bless), but many people have particular genre, character, and setting preferences. If you have three fics open, then readers of any one story have to wait much longer for the next update while you alternate updating each fic.

And more importantly, having a ton of open stories just... It feels heavy, guys. It’s a weight, a pressure. Trust me. Forgive me, fanfic gods, for I have sinned.

7.) Maintain a buffer

Okay, so my Nanowrimo project for 2018 was to write 50,000 words for After August, my current open fic. By the end of the month, I had a roughly 80% complete first draft of the entire fic.

Guys! Guys! It’s so cool to know exactly where the story is going, from start to finish. My editing is so deliberate on this piece! I can spot repetition and inconsistencies, since the draft is printed and sitting in front of me in a binder. I can tweak emphasis and maintain more balance between character appearances. It’s a whole new ballpark for me, someone who always wrote one update at a time and posted it upon completion (or worse, wrote ahead and lost the material when I changed my mind about the plot before reaching that future point).

Plus, even if my life gets extra busy or hard, I can still maintain my updating schedule. I can print out a chapter, take it to work, and do hard edits during my lunch break (I realize that makes me antisocial, but have you ever endured coworkers telling you all of their problems while you try to eat a sandwich in peace? The editing is much more fun. I am antisocial, is what I’m saying. Born into it, baby).

Regular updates are a big part of maintaining steady readership, so having a buffer both increases the quality of your work (since you know where the story is going for sure) and ensures that more people read it. Awww yisssss.

Okay, well, my concentration is gone now, so that’s the end of my advice! If I think of anything else, maybe I’ll add it?

I do want to touch base with my writing plans, though. Currently, of course, my goal is to complete After August. If I can post one chapter per week, it will be compete in early March, but I’m going to aim for completing the story in May, to allow for any issues that might come up (for example, Kingdom Hearts III is coming out soon!).

After that, I want to complete Seeking Resonance... Although I have no idea how long that will take? I just know that the heavy atmosphere was really starting to weigh on me.

After that... Well, do you remember that survey I made a while back? It looks like my next project should probably be completing Four Years.

I might simultaneously work on one of these two stories and Tales of REM, or maybe I’ll alternate between SR and FY for a while? To be honest, though, I would really like to wrap up SR as soon as I can.

Either way, completion is the name of the game this year. Please look forward to it! Let me know if you have any ideas for future fics, or if you have a favorite from my list of potential future projects!

#writing advice #seven years of fanfiction #fanfic advice #fanfiction advice #faves

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prorevenge · 6 years

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More ProRevenge from the radio business.

The ProRevenge post that I made yesterday, about the radio business, was well-received. Someone asked me if I had any other stories from radio. This is the only other one that I could think of. It is more about my colleague Petey than about me.

I hope it qualifies as professional level revenge. At the time, it felt pretty pro. THIS IS A VERY LONG STORY.

Here we go:

Once upon a time, when terrestrial radio was popular, Brian was was one-half of a radio morning show. You know the kind that I am talking about, two pleasant personalities giving weather reports, rehashing entertainment gossip and playing a song or two.

I was the advertising sales manager for the station that broadcast his morning show.

Brian came to us from a larger city. Before working with us, he was an entry-level on-air person, doing overnight radio deejay shifts on the weekends and copying commercials from CDs so that they could be put on the air. This kind of job is the lowest position that a person could hold at a radio station. The position has since been replaced by technology.

It is important to understand that geography is critical when understanding the career level and prestige of an on-air and/or radio programming job. A job in a larger city (or most accurately described, a larger media market) usually pays more, has more listeners and is a more prestigious position.

As I mentioned before, Brian came to us from a larger city, which we will call BigVille. When you see BigVille, think LA, NYC, Chicago or San Francisco. The actual city doesn’t matter for this story.

Our station group is in, shall we say, MiddleBurg. My city is in flyover country but is hardly a sleepy little town. Cities like mine are San Antonio, Cincinnati, Salt Lake City and Jacksonville.

Brian’s transition to his job with my company was a huge step up in actual job title. He went from part-time lackey to full-time morning show radio personality. To make that jump, he moved down in market size from BigVille to MiddleBurg.

Brian’s boss, the station program director, was a guy named Petey. He was responsible for everything that was on the air, except commercials (which was my job), including personalities and music.

I think that his peaceful and kind personality was created by the fact that he and his wife had five kids at home. He was used to dealing with strong personalities and emotional conflict. In many tough professional situations, Petey was like the opposite of a catalyst. When he showed up things usually calmed down.

He was also a great person, evidenced by the fact that three of his five kids were adopted out of a foster care.

Over time, it became clear that Brian didn’t like nor respect Petey. It started with little snide comments to coworkers about so-called stupid decisions that he made. Brian’s familiar refrain was, “that’s not how we did it in BigVille.”

Brian made multiple attempts to get Petey fired. He would come into my office and say things like, “Petey’s decided to [insert managerial decision], don’t you think that this a terrible idea. This would never happen in BigVille?” I always just responded by deferring to Petey.

Eventually, it devolved into Brian screaming at Petey on a regular basis. He would get angry about something and unleash his fury. There were multiple instances where he stomped off and told Petey to go fuck himself, that he quit and was going back to BigVille. Brian would cool off and come back a few hours later.

At Petey’s urging, everyone acted as if nothing had happened. “He just needed to vent,” Petey explained.

Through it all, Petey was patient with Brian. The morning show performed fairly well, had many listeners and got good ratings. My sales staff sold gobs of commercials at good rates. We all made money. Petey was content to let Brian be a raging monster to him as long as he performed on air.

The thing is, though, his morning show wasn’t actually that good. It performed well in the ratings because there wasn’t much competition in this particular radio format. That changed a few years later when a competing station put a popular syndicated national program on the air against Brian.

His ratings immediately began to crumble. What was once a dominant morning show in the target demographic, was now facing stiff competition.

It was unclear if Brian even noticed the change. My sales staff and I noticed it. Demand sets prices and we suddenly had a lower-demand product that was selling at lower rates with fewer customers.

Eventually, my boss noticed and it was decided among the group of managers (including Petey and I) that a change needed to be made. If this had been corporate radio then Brian and his on-air partner would have been out-on-their-asses. Fortunately, this was a privately held company and the owners cared about people. They were willing to figure out a way to keep both morning show hosts on staff, including Brian, at current salaries, doing other on-air jobs somewhere else in the cluster of radio stations.

There was a window of weeks in which the managers knew that the morning show was going to change, but we weren’t sure to what the new programming was going to be. Only the management team knew about the impending change. Brian wasn't aware of his impending reassignment.

During this window, one morning, immediately after his morning show ended at 9, Brian went to Petey’s office to discuss the weekend remote schedule.

Remote broadcasts (simply referred to as remotes) are one way that a radio personality can make extra money. You have probably heard them on air: Hey there, this is Chickenboy, broadcasting live from Salmonella Chrysler, Ford, Jeep...etc.

For remote broadcasts, the advertiser pays the personality a talent fee. At the time, the hourly rate was $100. So, a deejay could do a two-hour remote, sitting around at a car dealership, bullshitting with the sales guys, and walk away with $200.

Most weekends there were five or six remotes. Petey was in charge of assigning talent to each remote. He tried to keep things as fair as possible so that all of his deejays had a chance to make extra money. Brian often lobbied for more than his fair share, and often got it

One Tuesday, after Petey had just assigned remotes for the following weekend, Brian stomped into his office, which was two doors down from mine. He demanded to know why he wasn’t getting more remotes. Petey calmly explained that he already had two of the six scheduled remotes for the weekend. That wasn’t good enough for him.

Brian then walked to my offices and said something like, “Don’t you think that the station advertisers would prefer to have a top morning show personality doing their remote instead of some random nighttime deejay? That is how we did it in BigVille.”

I replied, “Assigning remote talent is Petey’s responsibility. He will make good decisions for the advertisers and the station.”

He harrumphed, shot out of my office, and flew back to Petey’s, slamming the door.

From my office, two doors down, I heard him scream, “Fuck this. You are an idiot. I fucking quit. I'll go back to BigVille.”

He tore out of Petey’s office, through the front reception area and out toward the parking lot into the station-provided dealer demo car that he was driving around as part of an advertising promotion.

I gently walked over to Petey’s office and poked my head in.

“He’s just venting, right?” I said to Petey.

Petey replied, calmly, “You heard everything he said? You heard him say that he quit.”

“I am pretty sure half of the building heard it.”

Petey requested, “Could you follow me down to the business office?”

“Sure.” I knew what was about to happen.

We walked down to visit with the person in charge of Human Resources, Dolores.

“Brian just gave his resignation to me, verbally in my office. He heard it,” pointing to me. “Is there any additional paperwork that we need to do in order to formalize this?”

Dolores said that it would be best if Petey wrote a memo to Brian, describing what happened in the office, and formally accepting his resignation on behalf of the company.

Then, Dolores began the process of separating Brian from the company. She turned off his access key code to the building and turned off his company email.

Petey prepared the memo.

I wish that I had been at the station when Brian returned. Unfortunately, I was away on a sales call. Here is what Petey and the station receptionist told me:

Brian showed up a few hours after the blow up, like normal. He tried to enter the building through an employee-only side door. His code didn’t work.

He marched around to the front of the building and through the main, public door. Inside of the reception area, he tried his code again, to get through the door into the employee area. The code didn’t work. “Fuck!”

The receptionist called Petey. He flew up to the front with memo in hand.

In the reception area, in front of the receptionist, Petey said, “Brian, your resignation has been accepted. This memo is for you. Would you please sign here that you received it?”

Brian was dumbfounded. He signed the paper acknowledging receipt, still not saying a word.

“We will need the keys to the dealer demo that you have been driving.” Petey continued.

Brian detached the key from his ring and handed it over.

“We will box up all personal items in your desk and in the car and overnight it to you. Should I send it to your current address or somewhere in BigVille?"

Brian said "current," a tear welling in his eye.

The receptionist called him a cab.

Brian sat in front of the station office building, crying, until his cab arrived.

—

Brian tried to get another on-air job in our town but I don’t think that he ever got anything. I have no idea where he is or what he is doing.

His former on-air partner is still working on-air, doing afternoons on a different station.

We replaced Brian’s show with a better show. The ratings recovered.

The car promotion moved to afternoons. The afternoon drive deejay gratefully drove the dealer demo car around for three months.

(source) (story by radioburner9988)

#prorevenge #by radioburner9988 #pro revenge stories #revenge stories #pro #revenge #pro revenge story #revenge story

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artificialqueens · 5 years

Text

The Language of Flowers, Chapter 3.5 (Multi) - Albatross

AN: Well this chapter took a hot minute to write but its done just in time for the holiday. Next update might be a bit later than two weeks, I want to work on some of the new fics I have scheduled for Dec. For those of you celebrating; have a safe holiday, especially if you have to be around difficult family today:

The following Sunday Katya moved in without any incident other than a broken picture and perhaps a small chunk of wood missing from the door frame to her room that she swore was like that before she got there. Courtney just rolled her eyes and let it go with a forgiving smile. After Katya had left for classes the following day she found the missing piece of wood kicked under the small table between their rooms and reattached it with a bit of Elmer’s glue. No harm, no foul. For all she know she might have done herself one day without realizing it.

Courtney was quite surprised with how easily she settled into having a new roommate. After one very unfortunate three month experiment with a very messy “friend” who seemed to have encouraged an ant colony to move in alongside her; she told herself never again. But desperate times call for desperate measures and Courtney had to face facts; she couldn’t afford to live alone after the last rent increase and she didn’t really want to find anywhere else anymore. She was almost banging her head on Katya’s door when the younger woman answered while holding an identical notification slip that had been taped to everyone’s door whilst they were out. Very reluctantly, Courtney asked, “Is that offer still open?”

She expected Katya to make a joke of it, something to the effect of “Which offer?” But she didn’t…she just gave her a supportive smile and nodded her head. Seems she had been having the same thoughts too. It was a shame though…Courtney had prepared a number of witty remarks for all of Katya’s possible comments, yet she had no chance to use them…Pity.

Instead the two made plans to alert the building supervisor of their impending rearrangements and hashed out who would move in with whom…If you asked each one how they made their decision, Courtney would say they had an open and frank discussion regarding it. Katya however would declare that it was decided by a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors…Your decision who you want to believe. Either way, it was determined that Katya would move into Courtney’s spare room at the end of the month and their choice to live together worked out quite well for both of them.

Katya was clean and orderly, her unusual taste in baubles aside, and for the most part she was rather quiet in the apartment…ignoring the few instances when Violet spent the night. Even after all this time, Courtney found she could barely look at either woman after she heard their sessions late at night. Though they did try their best to keep it down; the wall were thin…so very little was left to the imagination. It was a small relief the frequency had steadily dropped but unfortunately, Courtney could probably give a very detailed description of Violet’s favorite bedroom activities if she were asked…and could find the strength to answer.

But apart from fewer hookups that Courtney had more or less witnessed, Violet was becoming a regular guest in their apartment in the normal capacity. Occasionally she and Katya could be found cooking in the kitchen or watching TV on the couch but Courtney was hardly there long enough to really take notice of how long she stayed or how often she came by. Most of her time was still spent with Willam, who seemed to be trying to make plans with her almost every day. She was flattered, she had to admit, but she sometimes wondered what it was that Willam saw in her. They had similar interests, sure, but they were still very different in most aspects of their lives. Courtney was outgoing and boisterous only as needed while with Willam, that seemed to be her default. Courtney reveled in peaceful, homey atmospheres whereas Willam thrived anywhere she could be surrounded by people.

And people certainly seemed to love her, or at least enough of them did. Sure, they were plenty that would go so far as to say they hated Willam with a passion but more than enough welcomed her wherever she went and that was all she really needed. She could be the belle of the ball if she wanted yet she chose to hang around someone who much more comfortable going along with the crowd. Courtney certainly wasn’t a wallflower but she wasn’t vying to be the center of attention…at least not if she were competing against Willam. She just allowed herself to be taken along for the ride wherever Willam wanted to drag her…which as of late involved less clubs and more unconventional settings, at least for Willam.

Increasingly, Courtney found herself accompanying the dirty blonde as they engaged in some unexpected and occasionally quite ordinary activities. They had spent days at the beach together, going to brunch and dinner, movies at the theaters or Willam’s apartment, even trips to amusements parks and festivals. They had even tried hiking together…once. The sudden downpour that had caught both women by surprise as they marched through the woods was more than enough to dampen their enthusiasm to try again.

When Courtney had first met Willam, she never thought that this would be where they’d end up but she wasn’t complaining. Even though they bickered, even fought at times, about petty shit the other person did that annoyed them; Courtney was more than content with the relationship she shared with Willam. It was hard at times to imagine her life before she met the other woman…It seemed so lackluster now. She was similar to Katya, there was no doubt about that, yet still there was something about her that made her so different and Courtney still had yet to figure out what exactly it was. And certainly since Katya became a more prominent fixture in her life, Courtney was seeing different sides of Willam.

Although Courtney hadn’t really intended to keep Willam away from her apartment, she always declined having Willam come by if she knew Katya would be there. She wasn’t entirely sure why but she didn’t want the two meeting…at least not yet. Eventually they would have to but Courtney was determined to keep them apart as long as possible. She also had made it a point to keep herself from mentioning Katya in Willam’s presence if she could help it. The younger woman always held her tongue but Courtney got the feeling she still held some resentment for the fact that Katya was Courtney’s first and only choice as a new roommate. She seemed to have accepted Courtney’s apology but whenever she heard the blonde talking about her new roommate, her demeanor would always become more standoffish and annoyed…so Courtney just stopped talking about her whenever she could.

Easy fix.

Though Courtney’s life has definitely become more eventful since meeting Willam, a small part of her longed to return to that first meeting and warn herself not to become so attached. She had always thought of herself as an independent, free-spirit who didn’t need to rely on the company of others to feel content…that was why she was so comfortable living on her own. Yet since meeting Willam, she found herself feeling lonely far more often and in a way that tended to confuse her. Even if she were surrounded by customers or the coworkers she loved…if Willam wasn’t there, sometimes a wave of somethingthat would wash over her. Not quite yearning…no more like she was homesick…for Willam. So when the dirty blonde had taken to visiting her at the shop more often, she never said a word against it. She came to look forward to that point in the late afternoon when Willam would saunter in after clocking out at her own job and stay with Courtney through the end of the night or come by to pick her up if she happened to work the opening shift that morning. Those predictable moments where she knew she would see Willam again made it more bearable but it still frustrated her all same to have become so emotionally reliant on another person.

Today she was feeling that annoyance in full force; Willam was working overtime so Courtney would not have a chance to see until much later this evening. If she hadn’t been scheduled for the morning shift, it probably would have been more tolerable, but here she was stuck in the dead zone between the morning and afternoon rush with nothing to do other than daydream and reflect on how pathetic her life had become.

She stole a glance over to Jinkx who had thrown herself deep into the world of books once more. Unless Courtney missed her guess, it looked to be the same novel Sharon had given her all those weeks ago. The bookmark Jinkx was using seemed to have been made from some of the ribbon that had been wrapped around the paperback but that was something Courtney had noticed long ago. Still it brought a smile to her face whenever she thought of all the little things they do just for each other. She wondered briefly if Sharon had any notion at the time of what chain reaction she would set off when she first gave that book to Jinkx. Not that Courtney was complaining; she was glad the shop was busier. The owners certainly deserved that success but all the same; one small action sparked a whole explosion that led to Jinkx’s arrangements becoming one of the city’s featured novelties.

That brought Courtney’s attention to the front counter. Sharon was currently reviewing the credentials of some new plant retailers she might use in the future as suppliers for Jinkx’s more unusual flower requests. She certainly was going the extra mile for her assistant and it seemed to be so obvious that she had a thing for the redhead, yet Jinkx was oblivious…and Sharon was making no move to change that…It was frustrating watching it play out day after day. Courtney desperately wanted someone to push things along. She couldn’t and most definitely wouldn’t after the promise she made to Willam but Ivy on the other hand…certainly she could see what was going on or maybe even had some insight into Jinkx’s feelings…No, even if she did, that would only help on Jinkx’s side and Courtney knew the redhead well enough to know she’d never make the first move…it would have to be Sharon…Of the two, she was easily more of a risk taker…she just needs the right nudge to get things going.

Violet!

If anyone could help, it would definitely be Violet; she knew both women very well and of course, she knew how to play Sharon like a fiddle when she wants to! She’d be perfect…But almost certainly word would get back to Willam and that would result in yet another fight…undoubtedly one of epic proportions. Damn. Looks like Courtney will have to keep her promise whether she wants to or not.

Mm…

In the lazy way that minds tend to wander off, she began to think about Violet…and a little bit about Katya too. The pair complemented each other quite well and they seemed very compatible, particularly in bed. Why hadn’t they made a move? They seemed like they could be happy in a relationship together…maybe one of them does want a relationship and the other wants to keep it casual…Katya would probably be the one to want something more in Courtney’s mind; she was more of a nester and Violet seemed to be a little too wild to want to settled down just yet…Or maybe Courtney is reading too much into the situation and just has relationships on her mind. It’s quite possible both just want a casual friends-with-benefits arrangement. Much like Sharon and Willam’s thing…before they broke it off that is. Courtney now knew why Sharon decided to call it quits but she never questioned Willam how she felt about it. Sure, she said that it never meant anything but Willam was never the type to really talk about her feelings anyway…

Courtney’s thoughts were now treading towards territory best left unexplored but she was helpless to stop herself now…she found herself wondering if Willam and Violet ever hooked up…or even if Sharon and Violet had…

No.

She was almost certain that their relationship genuinely was more mother-daughter in nature and nothing more. Even if Sharon did used to sleep with Willam, it was hard to imagine her even attempting something like that with Violet…even tossing aside the brunette’s predilections in bed.

Violet worked well with Katya because they each had that same taste for the burlesque and the fetishes that often went with it. As intimidating as Sharon could be, Courtney never really got the vibe from her in the same way she had from Violet. In truth, some of what she had heard from Violet concerned her…she could never bring herself to attempt what she was sure Violet engaged in wholeheartedly. She probably leant herself more in the direction of, well…Jinkx.

Demure.

Maybe even so far as to say vanilla but definitely more sensual…more focused on the emotional aspects rather than the physical. Courtney could readily believe that Jinkx would be the type who’s careful and considerate with her partners…taking their needs into account more than her own. That’s why she would complement Sharon better than she would Ivy. She could easily see Sharon neglecting herself, maybe even for Jinkx’s sake, in front of others but behind the scenes Jinkx would make sure that every gesture was repaid…no minute detail forgotten. Yin to Yang.

And that of course led Courtney’s thoughts right back to Sharon…

The older blonde was the perfect balance between the younger women. She had Violet’s dominate streak for sure but also a softer, gentler side like Jinkx’s. That was what Courtney needed right now. Violet was too intense and Jinkx was too passive, but Sharon…Sharon was the perfect blend of each woman’s best qualities…

Courtney could easily imagine Sharon pulling her into her lap and holding her there with very little effort as she marked Courtney like she was her own. She wanted that so badly right now. To feel safe and secured in someone else’s hold even as they teased her to no end. And she had no doubt that Sharon wouldn’t be one to tease. She’d wear that taunting smirk on her painted lips as she got Courtney so worked up that she could barely think in coherent sentences. Tease her as she stripped away the layers of clothing one by one all while removing none of her own…Placing her on the counter where anyone could see as they walked past the shop. Whispering filthy things into her ear, making her beg for any little touch as she drew her fingers across Courtney’s inner thighs.

Why could she picture this so easily?

Willam would be almost the same…at first. She’d put up a tough front but once Courtney was at her mercy, she’d finally let down her guard. As her fingers slipped inside those taunts would melt into compliments as she brings the blonde closer to the edge. Maybe she would even call her ‘princess’. But despite the change in tone, Courtney would still beg. She knows she wouldn’t have to; Willam would never deny her anything but something in her would make her want to repeat all the things she wanted-needed Willam to do to her. And she’d comply with every one. She’d fuck her nice and slow even though Courtney demanded she go faster…and she would, but not right away. She wanted the moment to last.

And Willam would watch her the entire time, taking in every little detail for future reference. Loving how she could tear apart calm and composed little Courtney so quickly…And then as she was teetering right on the edge and about to plunge into the depths, Willam would kiss her. She’d muffled the screams so no one else could hear them but her. They were hers alone to enjoy and she was greedy when it came to Courtney. She always had been and-

“Court, are you okay?” Jinkx asked with a thoroughly concerned tone. “You’re looking a bit flushed.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake!

Daydreaming at work about that? Courtney had really outdone herself. And now two of those very women were starting to crowd in on her as she tried to calm herself down and recover from the embarrassment. There’s not much else that could make this worse, or at least she hoped there wasn’t.

“Do you need to lie down or drink some water?” Sharon asked anxiously as she placed a hand on Courtney’s shaking shoulders. This was about the last thing she needed right now.

“I’m fine,” she lied firmly, though her voice wavered just a tad as she added, “I’m just going to…to run to the bathroom real quick.”

Before her cheeks could get any brighter, she bolted out of her chair and in the direction of the small restroom at the opposite end of the shop. It looked as though Sharon was about to follow after her for a brief moment but to Courtney’s immense relief she stay within a few feet of the work benches with Jinkx at her side. Courtney had no clue what she would do if the older blonde had come after her…probably something stupid that would make her want to bury her head in shame…not that the little scene she made out there didn’t inspire a similar feeling.

She was mentally kicking herself for falling so deep into that fantasy that it became noticeable to the others. At least they didn’t seem to figure what exactly was going on but how was she going to cover for herself? Her mind felt like it was trapped in a maze coming upon dead end after dead end as she tried to recollect her thoughts. No matter what she tried to think of, her mind kept returning to the ache in her core that she knew she couldn’t do anything to ease…at least not here. She was already ashamed of herself enough, she wasn’t going to add 'getting herself off in the shop’s bathroom’ to that list.

No, she still had some self control. She could wait until she got home. All she had to do was make herself look presentable again, put up a good poker face for the rest of her shift, and then race back home to finish what she had started. And maybe even by then, the need would disappear…That could totally happen right?

*********

It didn’t.

Not that Courtney really expected it to but a girl could hope.

The rest of her shift felt like pure torture between Jinkx’s worried glances and Sharon constantly telling her to take it easy or even just to go home. Not that Courtney would leave them right before the next rush was due to arrive. She was determine to finish out her work day as she normally would but when the other two women slipped into their own versions of mother-mode? It was almost too much and Courtney often felt like she’d die of embarrassment before she got a chance to clock out. It was such a relief when Ivy came in early and Courtney could dash off to her apartment.

She knew she would need to take care of this quick; she was supposed to go out with Willam tonight and there was no way she was going to let any of these thoughts linger until then. She just needed to get off and that would be the end of it. Just because she daydreamt about Willam fucking her didn’t mean she was attracted her. Of course not. She just hadn’t gotten laid in awhile so of course her thoughts would drift towards the women she sees almost every day, Willam included.

When Courtney first burst into the apartment, she was overjoyed that it appeared to be empty. Lately Katya had been moving her study sessions to the library and every time she left, her book bag would be missing from it’s usual place just below the coat rack. The moment Courtney walked through the door, that was the first thing she looked for. The fact that it was gone meant she could get down to business right away but that hope quickly died after she found the bag had been moved to just outside Katya’s room and muffled music could be heard beyond the closed door. Well at least she wouldn’t be able to hear Courtney…not she was intending to get that loud any way.

Like a girl on a mission, Courtney barricaded herself in room, making sure to lock the door for good measure. As Courtney had discovered very soon after Katya moved in; knocking and waiting for an answer seemed to be a foreign concept to her. She had practically no shame and closed doors meant nothing to the younger blonde. More than once Courtney had to yell at her to get out of the bathroom while she was showering because she just had to talk to her at that exact moment. If anything like that happened within the next few minutes she might just have to scream.

But no other sound filled the apartment aside from the soft rock filtering through the shared wall. And with that knowledge firmly in her mind Courtney allowed herself to strip off her clothes…well, everything but her bra, just in case…for what little that mattered. Digging amongst her drawers she quickly found the two objects she was looking for. Even before Katya moved in, Courtney always left anything related to her sex life tucked safely in the back corner of her bottom dresser drawer. Despite living alone for so long, she had a hidden fear someone would manage to find it and the anticipated shame caused her to bury it far out of sight. But now was not the time for subtlety…this needed to be taken care of immediately.

Normally, Courtney would take the time to tease herself; she knew the reward was always so much greater in the end if she did but today her fingers were not what she wanted. She needed something that would get the job done quickly and efficiently and thankfully she had just the item for that. Long ago, back when she had just moved into the city from out in the suburbs, a friend had jokingly given her a vibrator as housewarming gift…saying something along the lines of “Just in case it takes you while to find a real one.” Courtney had played it off as best as she could (her cheeks were pink for several minutes after) but it was just a week or two before she mustered up the courage to try using it. She never had one before, always too embarrassed to go into a shop or even to order one online, but she was curious…And it was quite a life-changer. Not as good as the real thing but definitely easier than her digits.

Typically, she’d use a combination of both if she had the time but all she needed now was to get off. With so little of her usual teasing, it took a little extra time for her to feel comfortable with it inside her, even with extra lube, but once she turned it to the first setting and felt the soft pulsing kick in, she was able to relax and enjoy herself. She bit her lip as she slowly began to rock against the vibrator and pressed the button to the next setting. This particular model was incredibly basic, offering only 5 speeds of the steady vibrating setting and one of an alternating fast and slow sensations. Usually Courtney would hover between the 3rd and 4th speeds and that would be all she really needed to get off. The 5th setting sometimes just felt like a little too much to enjoy and the final option? Well, she never was really tempted to try it.

Quickly she became too used to the second speed and pressed the button once more to switch to the third. It finally felt like she was getting somewhere. Just a few more minutes of this and she could bring herself to edge, maybe she’ll even dare to press the button one more time right before she’s about to cum just to make it a little more intense…She’ll just wait and see…But as she felt herself creeping closer, a very unwelcomed noised filled the room.

Her fucking phone!

Why hadn’t she turned it off?

She didn’t even need to look at the screen to know who was calling. Of course it would be Willam. The universe seemed to love to throw every little irritation her way today. Only because she knew the dirty blonde would keep calling until she picked up, she very reluctantly decided to answer the phone. She had a brief moment of debate as to whether or not she should pause the vibrator and stop all together but the need was too great. It wasn’t that loud anyway, Willam wouldn’t hear and what she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her, right?

Slightly breathless and mildly frustrated, Courtney asked, “Hey, what’s up?”

“You tell me,” Willam shot back. “Got a text from Sharon saying you weren’t feeling well earlier. Want to tell me about that?”

Of course she would call about that. Courtney was a little surprised Sharon had gone that far but right now she was more annoyed than touched. She just wanted to get herself off in peace, couldn’t she have a few minutes to do that?

Instead of groaning out loud like she was inclined to, Courtney simply gave a shaky laugh and replied, “Oh, that…I think it was just something I ate maybe…nothing to get worked up about.”

Involuntarily, she squeezed her legs just a little bit tighter as she let out that small lie and like karma trying to punish her, that turned out to be quite a big mistake. The pressure was just enough to turn the vibrator to the next setting and the sudden change was more than enough to catch Courtney off guard. Her breath hitched in her throat as her eyes crossed just slightly before she remembered she still had Willam on the line.

She missed part of what the other woman had said but managed to catch the very end of her response, “-nd if you’re not feeling okay, you know you can call me. I would have come pick you up…”

Courtney almost let out a needy little whine at the vulnerability she heard in Willam’s voice and quickly took notice of her heart beating faster in her chest. Pushing the feeling aside for now, Courtney vaguely inquired, “Yeah?”

There was a slight hint of defensiveness in Willam’s tone as she reaffirmed, “Yeah…I would. Just tell me next time…Don’t want to hear it from someone else.”

“I will next time…Thanks, Bill,” Courtney said fondly.

“Whatever,” the dirty blonde replied all too quickly. It was easy for Courtney to tell she was embarrassed by the admission and right now she’d give anything to see that look on Willam again…it seems her fantasy Willam might be a little closer to reality than she thought…Willam probably would be as much of softie as Courtney had imagined her to be.

Wait, no. She was not going to start thinking about that again. There was nothing more between her and Willam. What’s happening right now is just an unfortunate mix of horniness playing off of hearing Willam’s softer side for once. That’s it, Courtney firmly told herself.

To distract from the vibrating between her legs and the ache that was almost unbearable again, Courtney asked how Willam’s day was going. The dirty blonde was all too eager to jump into a new topic, especially one concerning herself, and soon she was recounting all the little things that had happened during her shift so far.

As Courtney listened, she found herself lulled into a distracted state just by the sound of Willam’s voice. Something about it was so provocative right now and soon her free hand was lazily trailing its way down towards her thighs. The guilt in the pit of her stomach screamed at her that this was so wrong; getting off as her best friend chatted away in her ear, but it was just that taboo that made this so enticing. When would she get this chance again?

Pressing the mute button, Courtney let out a quiet moan as drew her fingers along her folds and traced one softly against her clit. Everything down there felt so sensitive that even the lightest touch was driving her close to edge once more. Very slowly she rocked her hips against the vibrator, trying to find that one spot that would take her right to her limit. Her mind was growing hazy as Willam droned on and Courtney found herself imagining the dirty blonde in bed with her…with her fingers in place of the vibrator…drawing her closer and closer to her release…whispering right into her ear rather than through the cheap electronics in her phone. God, she needed another body with her.

But all too soon Willam announced she would have to end the call, none the wiser to what chaste little Courtney was actually doing on the other end.

“Sorry, my break’s almost up. I need to get back to work…” Willam said apologetically. “You still there?”

Scrambling to turn the speaker back on, Courtney said hastily, “Yeah, sorry. Had you on mute, was just eating something.”

“When aren’t you?” the younger woman joked. “We still on for later though? We can put it off till you’re feeling better…”

“I’m fine,” Courtney promised as she choked down a broken moan.

Unconvinced, Willam proposed, “Why don’t we just stay in tonight?…We can have another movie night…I’ll even pick up some of that shitty wine you love so much.”

Smiling to herself, the blonde agreed, “Yeah, that sounds fun. Text me when you’re leaving, okay?”

“Will do. Alright, gotta run. I’ll see you later!”

With that Willam ended the call and Courtney was free to fully immerse herself once more. She getting so close she could taste it. Just another minute or two…But as she inched closer and closer, curiosity got the better of her…Why not try the last setting for once? It would probably be just enough to end it and if not she could always switch it back.

Daring to take a chance, she skipped right past the 5th setting and dove straight into the 6th. It was misleading at first…She was almost disappointed as it began with a speed even slower than the first option. Then suddenly it picked up the pace; it was just below her normal speed for about 20 seconds then it dropped once more…not a lot but still noticeable. Courtney could feel her body relaxing too much from the lack of stimulation then without warning, the pulsing kicked into high gear. It was so intense, she just barely managed to bite her lip in time to stop a desperate moan from slipping out. She was squirming in place, just close enough and about to go over when the speed dropped once more. Unable to stop herself, she let out a begging whine and almost choked on her own breath as pulsating quicken once more. This played out for over three minutes until she was nearly at the point of tears with how close she had gotten…Just one more strong pulse would be enough and she was long overdue.

As if on cue, it began and Courtney could herself being consumed entirely by the pleasure. Then all too quickly it began to die down again but not like before…the vibrating was weaker, not because of the setting…no, it was the batteries! The batteries were fucking dying! Why did it have to be now of all times? Couldn’t they last just a few seconds longer?

She tried to switch the setting back to one of the steady pulses but it was too late. The batteries were almost completely dead and she had been so close! It wasn’t fair!

Her fingers were in her hair ready to rip it out when she remembered the little box of batteries she kept in the kitchen drawer. Like a flash, she slid out the vibrator and threw on a robe before sprinting out to the kitchen. She must have looked like a madwoman as she frantically searched through the drawer for that stupid box. And when she finally found it, her hopes were dashed yet again. Just one was left! She needed two!

She knew that pack was full just the other week, where could the others-Katya!

Speed-walking back to the bedrooms, Courtney knocked on the younger woman’s door feeling like a hot mess. To her credit it only took Katya a few seconds to appear but it felt like an eternity to Courtney. Seemingly unfazed or else not noticing her roommate’s frazzled state, Katya asked the older woman what was wrong.

Trying her best to remain her usual polite self, Courtney asked, “The batteries in the drawer…did you use any of them recently?”

Katya nodded her head in affirmation but before she could comment any further, Courtney interrupted, “Could I borrow one of them real quick? Just for a few minutes! I’ll get a new pack but I need two like right now…please.”

Arching her eyebrow at the older woman’s frantic speech, Katya beckoned her inside and walked towards her nightstand. Unabashedly, she opened the drawer to reveal quite an interesting collection of bedroom accessories. Courtney’s stomach churned at the thought of Violet and Katya having used these before but she could worry about that later. She just needed her own equipment as soon as possible.

Rifling through the drawer Katya pulled out a seemingly random vibrator of her own and removed both of the batteries with air of practice. Courtney’s gaze dropped to one of the items entangled amongst the rest and could barely pull her eyes away even as Katya extended the batteries towards her.

“No rush,” she teased with a wink as Courtney opened her hand to accept the pair of double AAs. Seems Katya knew full well what she was up to next door.

“Thanks,” she muttered as her cheeks turned a fiery red and made her way towards the door.

To her dread, Katya called out for her just as she made it half across the room and very hesitantly she spun back around to face her roommate. Stepping forward, Katya asked sincerely, “Is that going to be enough?”

Awkwardly, Courtney clutched her hand around the batteries and dropped her gaze to the floor as she muttered, “Um…well…”

Katya stepped in front of her and placed a gentle hand to Courtney’s flushed cheek, turning her head back to look at her. The expression she held was one of genuine concern and strangely enough, seemed to extend an offer. Courtney heard broken syllables and unintelligible sounds fall from her lips as Katya tilted her head inquiringly. She knew Courtney understood what she was proposing and waited patiently as the older woman tried to come up with a complete sentence. Very slowly, she leant forward and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Courtney’s mouth. Almost immediately, Courtney felt her head shift involuntarily to brush her lips to Katya’s before she had a chance to fully retreat. Taking that as a sign of encouragement, the younger blonde reiterated, “It’s not going to mean anything…and it won’t make things weird…just something we both need right now.”

Taking in a shaky breath, Courtney nodded and pushed her lips back against her roommate’s. They were cautious at first, still testing the waters and allowing the other woman ample opportunity to call it off. As soon as Courtney began to walk Katya backwards towards the bed, they both knew they weren’t going to stop…not for anything.

Once the back of Katya’s legs hit the mattress, a switch seemed to go off in Courtney’s mind. She became much more deliberate in her movements, more sure of herself. She guided Katya down onto the edge of the bed, taking her place gradually in her lap as she laid claim to the younger woman’s mouth. Katya broke the kiss with a slight laugh as she teased, “Mm, aggressive. I like it.”

The older blonde flushed at the statement. This behavior was a bit out of character for her. Usually the only times she ever displayed this much dominance was when she chanced to take home a man who tended to be more on the inexperienced side, more shy. She’d provide the confidence for both of them as she showed him what to do. With women though? She’d only ever stayed passive, waiting for instructions because women were still more of mystery to her.

Brushing the pad of her thumb across Courtney’s cheek, Katya traced her lips up the older woman’s neck to her ear and let out a husky whisper, “Any requests? I’ll try anything.”

This caught her off guard, her wide-eyed staring proved that. She should have expected the offer, it was Katya after all. Explorative, unassuming Katya; seemingly willing to try anything for her partner’s sake. Why not take a chance if it was being offered?

Courtney’s hands shook as she rested them on Katya’s shoulders while she tried to think of how to phrase her response. There was something she wanted to try…two things actually. The younger woman waited patiently until Courtney found the courage to whisper what she wanted. Without any judgment, she assured the woman in her lap, “I can do that.”

She pressed one more brief kiss to Courtney’s lips before picking her up and setting her down on the mattress beside her. She paced back to her nightstand and searched for the item Courtney had been eyeing before. The older blonde looked away out of embarrassment as Katya unashamedly pulled out the lime green strap on from the slightly cluttered mess in the drawer. At a quick glance, Courtney realized that it was both dual ended and just a tad bigger than what she had been using earlier.

She squirmed on the mattress trying unsuccessfully not to stare as Katya carefully began to strip off her clothes. Though she really wasn’t wearing anything particularly special, the way she worked her body free from her clothing reminded Courtney very much of the delicate manner in which Katya would remove her costume on stage during her performances. She was both casual and showy; displaying skill but not enough to be intimidating. With surprising speed, something she must have acquired through much practice, Katya made quick work of arranging the harness around her hips and inserting her own end with a pleased sigh. Once the remote was securely clipped to the side, she turned her attention back to Courtney who now was licking her lips as she tried not to be overwhelmed by the sight in front of her.

If Courtney’s mouth hadn’t been so dry, she almost would have giggled at how comical the ensemble looked. The unnatural color only made it look a little more ridiculous as Katya took her place in front of her once more. Still something was so intriguing about it, she hadn’t realized she was staring so much until she felt the younger woman tilting her chin up to connect their gaze.

“Still alright to continue?” she asked without a hint of pressure in her voice.

Courtney nodded absently, allowing their lips to pass over one another before Katya inquired softly, “Can I take this off?” as she toyed with the collar of Courtney’s robe.

Suddenly she felt both over and under dressed. The thin robe covered most of her body but underneath she only had her bra. Her cheeks filled with color from her self-consciousness as she untied the waistband and began to shrug off the remaining fabric. As Katya helped pull it the rest of it all the way off, Courtney tried to give her a fair warning, “I’m not really wearing much else under-”

A soft gasp escaped from the younger blonde before Courtney was able to finished her sentence. She cast a quick glance to Katya only to be surprised to find a very light pink tinting her cheeks as her eyes raked down Courtney’s body. She knew she was well toned and was quite used to how men would look at her in bed but Katya’s stare…it made her feel beautiful…and nervous. Her mind was quick to remind her of all of the flaws she felt she had but Katya’s gaze never showed any sign of finding any. She simply drank in the sight before her for a minute before reclaiming Courtney’s lips for a passionate kiss.

As the two worked their way further back onto the mattress, Katya’s fingertips traced over all of the soft, delicate curves that laid below her. Though Courtney knew this wasn’t going to mean anything further afterwards, she still had an idea that this moment was always going to hold a special place in her memory. Very thoroughly, Katya kissed her way down Courtney’s neck, pausing for a moment to assist in taking off the final piece of clothing separating them. Tossing the bra over the edge of the bed, Katya carefully took one nipple into her mouth as her thumb toyed with the other.

An unwilling mewl clawed its way from Courtney’s throat and filled Katya’s ears. She was very confident of her talent in bed but Courtney’s reactions only helped to reassure her of that. The noises that escaped from the older woman were like music encouraging her to do everything she could for this beautiful woman in front her. Though hesitant, Courtney tried to return the gestures quite a few times but Katya pushed her hands away every single time.

“Don’t worry about me, just want to take care you right now,” she assured the blonde below her. “Just enjoy being a pillow princess tonight.”

Courtney whined softly at the one word. That was the second part of what she had asked from Katya for this session. She knew she was treading into dangerous territory with this request but she couldn’t bring herself to care at the moment…Not when Katya was so willing to comply. She’ll figure out what it means later, for now she was just going to listen to Katya and enjoy everything she was offering.

The foreplay went on for several minutes, Katya teasing her nipples, cupping her breasts, slowly trailing her fingertips and lips down every inch of skin except for one area. Courtney was a mess…she looked it and she felt it. What she had experienced in her own room was nothing compared to how Katya had worked her up. Finally after all that torture, the younger blonde conceded to touch Courtney where she desperately needed it. Katya’s fingers felt so good inside her that she didn’t want to wait any longer to get to the main course. But Katya had quite a teasing streak, one she probably exercised often with Violet. She would brush oh so gently against Courtney’s g-spot but not enough to give her all of the satisfaction. Her folds were slick as Katya worked her fingers in and out, pausing every so often to tease her clit as the blonde shuddered beneath her.

Her mind felt like it had been put through a sieve before Katya gave in to her pleading for more. The younger woman poured an extra dose of lubricant into her hand for good measure and spread it along the length that was soon to be inserted. Getting herself into position, Katya placed the vibrator outside Courtney’s entrance and leant down close to Courtney’s ear. Feeling the woman trembling in anticipation of what was to come, she whispered, “Shh, don’t worry. Gonna go slow.”

Sucking softly at the skin below Courtney’s jawline, Katya began to push in with an extreme amount of care. Once it was fully inside of her, the blonde let out a sigh of satisfaction. This was just what she needed. It wasn’t quite like the real thing but it was close enough.

Giving her partner enough time to get comfortable, Katya left soft nips and licks along Courtney’s neck and shoulders. As soon her breathing was in check, Katya said, “I’m gonna turn it on now, okay?”

Courtney nodded, not quite knowing what to expect but the second she felt the vibrator whirring to life, her arms clutched tightly around the younger woman’s back. The initial setting was already intense even disregarding her current overstimulated state. If this was what Katya and Violet had been using before, it was no wonder the brunette could barely keep her voice down. Courtney was just barely able to bite back a scream that would have rivaled one of Violet’s.

“Like that, princess?” Katya asked with a smirk.

Frantically nodding her head, Courtney found she couldn’t make any other verbal response aside from a desperate, low moan. Again Katya waited a few seconds to allow Courtney to get used to the feeling before beginning to move. The pace was slow at first but gradually she built up a steady rhythm as the older blonde began to completely lose it. She was quite used to the feeling by now, knowing how to move so that she enjoys the sensations as much as her partner, but being that this was her first time with Courtney; she did her best to be careful and in tune with her reactions.

There certainly wasn’t any lack of enjoyment on Courtney’s end; her eyes watered in pleasure as her legs wrapped tightly around Katya’s waist. A pair of hands found their way to her hips, helping to accentuate the steady thrusts. With each passing second Courtney found herself creeping closer and closer to her elusive orgasm. She felt her fingers curl themselves into the long locks above her, ignoring the way they shifted into a dirty blonde in her mind. She was just so close that she didn’t care how she achieved it, just that she did as soon as possible. It only took a few more strokes before she was calling out a warning and closed her eyes tightly as she pretended Willam was the one whispering in her, “That’s it, princess. Let me see what pretty face you’ll make.”

Courtney had no idea how long her eyes stayed shut as she rode out her long awaited orgasm. All she knew was that she finally got her release and a look at Katya confirmed she had as well. The younger blonde was panting heavily as she struggled to keep her shaking body from collapsing on top of her partner. As gently as she could manage, she withdrew from inside Courtney and removed the harness with absolutely none of the finesse she had when first putting it on.

Completely satisfied, Courtney found herself curling into Katya’s warm body nearly the second she rolled off to the empty space on the mattress. She felt like she was finally able to thinking clearly for the first time since early that day. A quick examination of her feelings assured her that despite Sharon appearing in her original daydream; she had absolutely no romantic feelings for the other woman…Willam though…that was a different story. Somewhere deep in her core she felt a twinge of guilt for thinking about the other woman in such a way. She wasn’t sure if she would be able to face her later tonight…Perhaps she should call it off saying she suddenly began feeling worse…But what if Willam tried coming over to take care of her? Courtney really wouldn’t put it past her at this point.

She was almost groaning out loud when Katya interrupted her thoughts. With a teasing glint in her eyes, she asked very seriously, “So…who were you thinking of?”

Courtney’s cheeks turned a bright red as she replied defensively, “What makes you ask?”

Smirking, the younger woman stated, “Well, it wasn’t my name you were screaming…'Bill’ I think it was?”

A surge of shame ran through Courtney as she buried her face in her hands in embarrassment. Very muffled, she started to apologize, “Oh, Kat! I’m so sorry, I-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Katya interrupted lightly as she ran her hand comfortingly over the blonde’s arm, “I wasn’t exactly thinking of you the entire time either…”

Lifting her head up, Courtney questioned cautiously, “Violet?”

To her surprise Katya shook her head and replied with a doleful smile, “No…but I’ll tell you mine if you tell me about yours.”

Very reluctantly, the older blonde admitted in a muttered tone, “Willam.”

“Who’s he?”

Swallowing back her nerves, Courtney corrected her roommate, “…She.”

Katya’s eye went wide with surprise as she exclaimed with a joyful grin, “Courtney! I didn’t know you actually swung that way!”

“Wha-How?” Courtney asked flabbergasted, “You’ve been flirting with me pretty much since we met! I thought you knew.”

“No, I was just doing that as a joke! You always played it off so I thought you knew I wasn’t being serious,” the younger blonde explained. Facepalming herself, she added in, “Oh, God, if I had known you actually-”

“You’d have tried harder,” Courtney accused with a disapproving stare.

“Damn right! No, seriously though, I’d never seen you take an interest in a woman before, so I just…assumed.”

Shrugging her shoulders, Courtney stated defensively, “Well, it’s not really common for me but…”

“This one’s special?” Katya suggested with a sympathetic smile.

“Looks like it,” the blonde admitted a bit dejectedly.

“Why don’t you make a move then?”

Struggling to come up with an answer, Courtney mumbled, “I…well…She’s…”

“Straight?” Katya guessed as her brows knit together in concern.

“No, definitely not straight,” the older woman explained pessimistically, “I’m just…not really her type.”

“How do you know?”

“…Cause I’ve seen who she’s been with…who she’s taken home from the clubs…” Courtney stated gloomily. “Do you know Violet’s business partner? Sharon?”

With a secretive smile, Katya replied, “I’ve heard of her…Violet loves to get her worked up. She used to always ask me for jokes to annoy her with.”

“Oh, God, really?” Courtney laughed out.

“Yep. But what about her?”

“Well, she and Willam…you know…they had a bit of thing, like you and Violet, until Sharon starting falling for someone else…But that’s Willam’s type…more experienced, I guess. Edgier, you know?”

Katya let out a noise of understanding and didn’t press any further. Still feeling a bit embarrassed from her admission, she quickly changed the subject to inquire, “Now tell me about yours.”

“Trixie,” Katya replied simply.

Shaking her head, Courtney stated confusedly, “Never met her.”

“Well, you have actually…kind of.”

Courtney tilted her head in further confusion as she tried to think of when she might have met this mystery woman. Seeing her roommate still coming up empty, Katya reminded her, “Remember when you picked me up from the library last week? She was working there. One of the student employees…The blonde one…”

“Oh, I remem-wait…” Courtney trailed off as the memories from that day began to form in her mind. “Wasn’t she the one glaring at you the entire time?”

“And you too!” Katya shot back defensively.

Brows furrowed, the older blonde asked, “Why her?”

“She’s nice…” Katya said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Really?” Courtney asked in disbelief. From what she remembered of this woman, 'nice’ seemed to be a bit of stretch.

“She is!” Katya insisted. “Last semester, you remember when I got really sick, right? Like I missed classes for almost a week?”

Courtney nodded, recollecting that event very well. At the time they were unsure if it was the flu or food poisoning but either way Katya had been sick to her stomach for several days. She had been forced to miss pretty much all of her performances that week as well as her classes, including a small test. It was only with the help of a doctor’s note that she was able to reschedule that examination for when she was feeling better.

Continuing on with her explanation, Katya stated emphatically, “She was the one that helped me catch up for some of them…The first day after I came back, I was completely lost…I was almost ready to run to the registrar’s office to drop most of them cause I couldn’t think of way that I could cover everything I missed. But she pulled me aside after our last class and offered to help…No else did…The professors didn’t care, but Trixie did. Even when I annoyed her during the tutoring sessions, she stayed. Sure, she banged her head on the desk a few times but she didn’t give up on me. ”

“Kat…” Courtney fawned softly. “That’s actually really sweet of her…Had you even talked before that?”

“Well, sort of…We worked on a project for another Lit. class before…We have similar majors so our classes overlap sometimes,” Katya mentioned vaguely.

Courtney could tell that there was more to the story than what Katya let on. With a little probing, she finally admitted, “We worked together in the library after her shift a few times to get the outline done…one time when she finished early, she asked if I wanted to come back to her apartment instead…”

“And what happened?” Courtney asked suspiciously.

Shamefully, Katya was forced to confess, “I got nervous…and ended up really annoying her. She kicked me out of her building after about an hour. She hasn’t invited me back since then and she’s never accepted my offer to come over…she usually just looks a little terrified when I ask…but we still talk though!…Like she’s brought coffee over when I’m staying late to study or sometimes she’ll sit with me when she’s taking a break!…But she kicks me out of the library if I start to piss her off.”

“What is that you do exactly that makes her so upset?”

“She doesn’t really like it when I tell those corny jokes…or when I call her Tracy…or Barbara…Barbie…or use that voice she hates.”

Knowing she’ll regret it soon after, Courtney asked, “How often do you do that?”

“Pretty much every week?” Katya answered sheepishly.

Groaning, Courtney scolded, “Katya! No wonder she glares at you!”

“What?” Katya exclaimed defensively, “That’s pretty much how I always flirt; relentless harassment until they give in or get a restraining order and she hasn’t done either yet so I’m still good to go.”

Courtney’s hand immediately shot up to rub at her temples in as she let out a sigh of exasperation.

Very proudly, Katya declared, “Her icy stare melted my heart.”

“That’s an…oxymoron, Kat,” the older blonde mentioned blankly.

“Just like me!”

Another sigh fell from Courtney’s lips as she pushed herself further into Katya’s arms and thought about both of their seemingly helpless situations. Sadly, she commented, “We’re a mess, huh?”

“Just a bit,” Katya agreed. “…I really kind of want to ask her out though…”

“What’s stopping you? She’s not straight, right?”

“No,” Katya laughed, “I know she’s not…She’s loud and proud…Well, maybe not as loud as I am but…she doesn’t keep it a secret. She brought it up while we were studying together…”

Already guessing the answer, Courtney asked, “Mixed signals then?”

“Very…I just…really don’t get her. She’s kind of like a frozen lake or something…all icy on top but you know there’s life underneath. Sometimes I feel like I’m ice fishing; I keep making holes and finding amazing things below the surface but then everything just freezes up again and I have to start over…I don’t really know what to do…”

“Well, do you think she might like you, too?”

“Maybe?” Katya mumbled unsurely, “She keeps coming back, so…”

After thinking to herself for a moment, Courtney questioned, “Have you tried finding out? Besides what you call 'flirting’?”

“No…” Katya trailed off with unhappy curl on her lips, “I…I don’t want to read into it too much and be wrong, you know? I really like her, even if she’s just a friend…I don’t want to screw that up.”

Nodding her head understandingly, Courtney gave a noise of empathy. She was quite familiar with that feeling and she’d seen plenty of other friends experiencing that as well. Maybe even Sharon was, too…

The pair remained silent for a few moments but Courtney was still thinking about Katya’s situation. She wanted to help, she just wished she knew of way for them to gently broach the subject without being too obvious and-Jinkx!

Her bouquets would be perfect for this! That’s what they had been created for originally so why not revive that again? And it’d be so romantic too!

Courtney could hardly contain a squeal of joy as she rotated in Katya’s grasp to flash her a bright smile.

“I’ve got just the thing!” she announced proudly.

With a look of tentative curiosity, Katya asked what she had meant. Quickly, the older blonde explained how Jinkx had taken to preparing bouquets with personalized meanings. Each one was crafted based on each customer’s unique situation. If anyone could help Katya create an arrangement with just the right message; it’d be Jinkx. Although Katya agreed that it sounded like a good idea, she was reluctant to involve someone else. Why couldn’t Courtney make the bouquet instead?

“Jinkx really is the best at it,” she asserted to the younger woman, “She understands the meanings a lot more than Ivy or I would. And she’s really sweet too. You’d like her, promise.”

Still Katya was unsure. She really would prefer if she only had to discuss this with close friends. It wasn’t exactly easy for her to talk about this sort of thing but Courtney always made her feel comfortable…Talking about it with a stranger just seemed like it would be too awkward.

“Why don’t you think about it for awhile?” Courtney suggested as she stole a quick glance to the alarm clock on the nightstand. Pushing herself from the bed, she began to collect her robe and bra while adding in, “I’m gonna be heading out in a bit but we can talk about it again tomorrow, okay?”

With a small grateful smile, Katya nodded her head and made to clean up her own part of the mess. She almost missed how close Courtney was to her until she turned around to find herself face to face with the older woman. She had a very light tint on her cheeks as the Aussie cupped her face and pressed a quick peck to her lips. Almost shyly, Courtney whispered, “And thank you…for helping me…It was fun.”

“We could go another round,” Katya offered with a teasing waggle of her eyebrows.

Rolling her eyes, Courtney politely declined but still she leant in for one final kiss.

“We’ll talk more later, alright?”

That night Courtney found her way over to Willam’s apartment and as promised a bottle of her 'shitty’ wine was waiting for her on the counter. Although Willam would never admit it if asked, Courtney noticed that she was paying particularly close attention to her as the night went on. She made casual inquiries as to how she was feeling, making sure she ate something along with the wine, even allowing Courtney to pick most of the movies. It was so thoughtful but despite Willam’s best intentions, the gestures only left Courtney feeling more and more guilty as the night went on. But still a gradual warmth filled her chest until she was almost to the point of blushing as Willam casually fixed some flyaway strands of hair. All she could bring herself do was mumble a quick thanks and turn her head back to the screen as she took another deep sip from her wine glass.

Before either woman could recognize their fatigue, they fell asleep that night tangled up in one another on the couch. Courtney’s head rested on Willam’s stomach while her arms were wrapped snugly around the other woman’s waist and Willam herself had her legs hooked loosely around Courtney’s and one draped across the blonde’s midsection. Neither of their positions were elegant nor entirely comfortable but each was more than satisfied with the sight they woke up to the next morning.

***********

A few days later Katya asked Courtney to come with her to 'Pines and Needles’. After talking things through with Violet, Katya relented and decided to have a bouquet prepared by Jinkx. If both of her close friends were recommending this woman, then she must be good right? They opted to head over on Courtney’s day off during the time when she knew there wouldn’t be many customers in the shop. She didn’t want Katya to feel any more discomfort than what she was already experiencing. After knowing the younger woman for so long, she could tell that a hint of her nerves were starting to show as they made their way towards the shop.

She was deflecting from her own situation by trying to encourage Courtney to pursue her own romantic interest. Every comment created a queasy little lurch in her stomach as her shame from earlier still had not abated. If anything it had become quite a constant in her life the last few days. Every time she saw Willam, the dirty blonde would be doing something so innocent and suddenly Courtney’s mind would flash back to what she had done…especially with Katya. The main problem was…she kind of wanted to do it again. She even began having lazy daydreams about the other girl as she laid in bed. None of these were sexual in nature, all just simple domestic things; kissing her, laying wrapped up together on the couch, or just cooking together. Almost all of these were things she’s done in one form or another with Willam, aside from kissing, but rather than as friends, she wanted there to be more.

And Katya could certainly recognize that her feelings had grown. She was now trying to convince Courtney to make a similar move and take a chance like she was doing…but Courtney could never do that…There was no way someone like Willam could be interested in her…They just weren’t compatible in that way.

It was a relief when the shop’s door came into view. Courtney would finally have a break from Katya’s well-intentioned but misguided efforts and-Fuck!

Why was Willam here?

She hardly ever came around the shop unless Courtney was working! Why’d she have to be here today of all days? If Katya realizes who this was, who’d know what she’d do to tease Courtney?

Studiously ignoring the other woman for the time being, she returned Sharon’s greeting and strictly kept her eyes away from Willam as soon as the dirty blonde spun around. While she explained why she was here to her coworkers, she heard the faint drumming of fingernails against the work table. Doing her best to resist the temptation, she refused to look anywhere close to that direction. She certainly didn’t miss how Jinkx’s eyes cut to Willam and she actually wouldn’t be surprised if Katya had picked up on it as well.

Trying to keep things moving, Courtney began to introduce her roommate but that was when the fiasco started. Courtney had no idea what possessed Katya to throw out that fake Russian accent. She could hardly believe her ears as she heard the other woman repeating her full name in probably one of her worst attempts yet at sounding like a native Russian. One look at Jinkx and Courtney could tell the younger woman had no clue what to make of the person in front of her, especially as Katya broke what little illusion there was by repeating her nickname in a perfect American accent.

Perhaps this wasn’t as good of an idea as she thought…

Sharon was having none of it and quickly diverted Katya’s attention away from her increasingly frazzled looking assistant. This whole thing had definitely been a mistake, Courtney realized. She ought to have just come in when she knew Violet was working. Things would have gone so much smoother. The older blonde could barely contain her shock as Katya began flirting with her boss!

What was wrong with her?

An involuntary glance towards Willam informed her that the younger woman well on her way to becoming thoroughly annoyed. She was all but scowling as the scene unfolded in front of her and Courtney had a sinking feeling that things were not going to improve any time soon. Trying to reign in her roommate’s shameless behavior, Courtney did her best to scold her and of course it backfired almost immediately. As much as she wanted to be angry, the smile sent her way had completely blindsided her and her glare ended up looking quite mollified.

Courtney could sense that Willam was steadily becoming more and more ticked off but at least Katya’s attention had been taken off of Sharon and Jinkx. She felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist as Katya beamed, “Don’t worry, принцес��а; you’re still my favorite.”

That was the final straw for Willam. That was her pet name and Courtney knew it. She was absolutely furious as she openly glared at the two women. Courtney could feel her cheeks burning as her sight connected with Willam’s for the first time that day. And Katya still had no fucking clue. She seemed to be happily oblivious to growing tension in the room, even smiling proudly as Sharon unlovingly concluded the nature of her relationship to her business partner. It seems Sharon’s best solution for dealing with this young woman was to ignore her completely and focus her questioning on Courtney.

Eager to reclaim control of the situation, Courtney quickly explained Katya’s reason for their visit despite Sharon’s snarky remarks. As the older woman sauntered up to the front counter to prepare the bill, the real interrogation with Willam began. She wasn’t even trying to hide the hostility on her voice as she asked, “I think it’s safe to assume this isn’t for Violet?”

To her credit, Katya did appear to be more somber as she answered Willam’s questions. Though Katya hadn’t talked with her about it, Courtney felt the issue as probably bit of sensitive spot for her. She was quite attached to Violet, their continual efforts to hang out were proof of that, but it still must have been difficult for her to break the news to the younger woman despite the casual nature of their relationship. And having a stranger butting into her private affairs was enough to put anyone on edge.

Willam might have thought she was defending her friend’s interest but she was absolutely crossing a line in Courtney’s mind. She tried to subtly tell the dirty blonde that she needed to lay off but Willam was not backing down. Her aggressive attitude was quickly working on Courtney’s nerves, particularly as she noticed how uncomfortable Katya was becoming under Willam’s intense glare. Not wanting to escalate the situation any further, at least in front of the others, Courtney asked Willam to accompany her to back…though admittedly it came out as less of a request and more of a demand.

The dirty blonde seemed inclined to refuse but with a flippant shrug of her shoulders, she agreed to follow Courtney to the break room. She tried her best to remain calm as they walked together silently but the more she thought about Willam’s behavior; the more enraged she became. Willam had absolutely no call to be so rude to someone she’s never met before, especially considering that she probably wasn’t even fully aware of the exact nature of Katya and Violet’s relationship.

Once inside the room, Courtney found herself unable to maintain her composure. Sounding far harsher than she meant it to, she snapped at Willam, “Mind telling me what the hell your problem was out there?”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” the dirty blonde replied in a huff.

“Don’t give me that bullshit,” she accused, eyes narrowing further. “Why are you acting like such a bitch to Katya? You don’t even know her!”

“Who’s fault is that, princess?” Willam spat back bitterly. Her body was shaking with anger as the final word rolled off her tongue. Courtney didn’t feel much better; mixed in with her own fury was a heavy dose of guilt. She had kept Willam away from Katya…actively. And it seems she was quite right to given how this meeting has gone.

Ignoring the pink slowly consuming her face, Courtney stated firmly, “Katya and Violet’s relationship is none of your business. You need to stay out of it.”

Scoffing, Willam quickly shot back, “Oh, that’s fucking rich coming from you! That’s why you brought her here after all, wasn’t it? So you could fuck around in her relationship since I wouldn’t let you near Sharon’s?”

“That’s not what this is about and you-”

“What are you going to do when Katya drops this one, huh?” Willam barked at her. “Pick out the next victim for her? You gonna find her next fuck buddy? Beit?”

At this point Courtney’s face felt like it was on fire as she stood shell-shocked and Willam’s expression mutated into one of horrified anger and betrayal.

“You have!” she accused in a hoarse whisper. Her voice cracking was not something Courtney would ever forget as she continued on with her ranting, “That’s why you let her move in, isn’t it? God, I can’t fucking believe you!”

Pushing aside her own shame, the blonde shouted defensively, “Who I sleep with is none of your business!”

“It is when Violet’s involved!”

“Do I go turning up my nose at who I’ve seen you take home?” she demanded.

Scowling, Willam snapped back, “The fuck is that supposed to mean?” “I’ve seen how low your standards are!” Courtney declared unkindly. She was really going for a low blow but she couldn’t stop herself any more as her frustration took over. “Flirting with anyone that’ll look your way for more than a minute! Anyone who’ll buy you a drink-”

“Like you’re fucking one to talk,” the younger woman yelled over her. “Your head is so far up your own ass you never even notice who’s looking at you. No wonder you keep going home alone!”

“Fuck you! How can I leave with anyone when you’re always dragging me back to your place?!?”

“Oh, so now you’re blaming me cause you can’t get laid?” she asked in mocking disbelief. “I’m not stopping you from doing anything! You’re always the one running after me and do I ever turn you away? No!”

“You don’t want me around? Fine!” Courtney spat out as she marched towards the store front. “I’m happy to leave to you alone. We’ll both be better off!”

Following hotly on her heels, Willam shook her head and called after her, “Oh, no! You are not getting out of this that easily. We are not done talking about this!”

“Yes, we ar-Katya!” Courtney scolded as she found Katya teasing Sharon as she stormed across the room muttering something about a drink. This was the last fucking thing she needed!

Immediately the young blonde choked back a guilty swallow as she caught sight of Courtney’s pissed off expression. What had she been doing to these poor women while Courtney was away? It had barely been five minutes that she’d been in the back, how had she managed to so thoroughly harass Sharon in such a short amount of time? At least she had the good grace to look ashamed of herself as Courtney rejoined her at the work benches.

Turning back for a final look to see if Willam was still trailing behind her, Courtney felt her heart break as she watched Sharon leading the dirty blonde to her apartment with her hand resting on her lower back. Tears were stinging at the corner of her eyes as she heard Katya rambling off a few more puns she had saved up. Shooting her an intense glare, Katya swiftly cut herself off mid-sentence, something about 'I’m still rooting for you’ or similar, but Courtney could tell she was dying to get one more joke in.

Reluctantly, she consented with a long-suffering tone, “…Last one.”

Running a soothing hand over her roommate’s back, Katya offered a consoling smile and said, “I’ll leaf it alone.”

Both her and Jinkx were unable to contain a groan but it finally seemed as though Katya had calmed down, as much as possible for her that is. The rest of their time there was fairly uneventful to Courtney’s immense relief. Her mind was still bogged down as she replayed her argument with Willam on a continuous loop. A few times she found herself spacing out as her thoughts dove into all the different directions their conversation had gone. She hated to admit it but Willam was right on a few things; it was entirely by her own doing that this unfortunate event had been Willam’s first time meeting Katya, as was the nights she spent alone. Her interest in sleeping with other people had faded to a degree, enough that she supposed it became apparent to Willam. She found she just wasn’t as into hooking up as often as she had been previously, preferring instead to just spend time with Willam. That was why she never made any objections to when they’d leave a club early and crash at her place.

When the bouquet was finally finished, she made sure to thank Jinkx repeatedly for helping Katya. She truly hoped this would help spark a genuine relationship for the younger woman. She really seemed to like this girl and Katya certainly deserved that happiness, despite Willam’s unfair assumptions about her. As they drove to Katya’s campus to drop off the flowers at the library, Courtney found herself watching the young woman holding onto the vase as though it were the most sacred object in the world. It seemed like all of her hopes were contained in this one small clutch of plants and Courtney couldn’t help but to feel nervous for how it might be received.

She offered to walk into the building with Katya, but she was determined to do it alone. Courtney accepted her resolution and promised to wait in the car for her. Almost 20 minutes passed by with Courtney feeling ever anxious as to what was taking so long. Had her courage faded before she was able to talk to Trixie? Was she just standing inside the door too paralyzed to move? Or maybe Trixie rejected her and she was now sobbing in the bathroom somewhere.

Finding all the possibilities to be too much, Courtney resolved to wait another 10 minutes before she would storm into the library in search of her roommate. After another five minutes or so Katya emerged from the building with a jubilant smile on her face and Courtney released an audible sigh. Seems things had gone well after all. Katya could hardly contain her grin as she exclaimed, “Trixie loved it! I’d never seen her smile like that before.”

Very much relieved, Courtney drove them home and allowed her thoughts to return to the events in the shop. Before Katya could disappear into her room, Courtney decided to ask what exactly had happened while she with Sharon and Jinkx. She knew Katya had a penchant for bad jokes, especially to distract from her own anxiety, but it was never quite that bad.

With a sheepish grin, the young woman admitted, “When I told Violet I was going to the shop…well, she asked me to try out my best material for Sharon. Said she wanted a little payback for all the legwork she had to do hunting down suppliers in her free time, whatever that means.”

“Oh, my God,” Courtney laughed. Of course Violet would arrange for someone to annoy Sharon while she was off. How could Courtney expect anything less from her at this point?

Courtney’s chuckling seemed perfectly controlled at first but then out of nowhere it suddenly broke off with a choked noise and her mind flashed from Violet to Willam. Before she could even process the change, tears began streaming down her face as a sob ripped through her body. Katya’s grin instantly vanished as she pulled the older woman into her arms and guided her to sit down on the couch. It felt like everything having to do with Willam hit her all at once and she was helpless to stop herself from breaking down in her roommate’s grasp. She was pissed at herself for being so pathetic, for getting into that stupid fight, and most of all for developing this stupid infatuation with her friend…maybe even her former friend.

She wasn’t sure if they could come back from this, not after what she had said.

Katya rubbed her hands along Courtney’s back as she continued to cry about her hopeless situation. She appreciated how Katya didn’t try to rush her talk, not that she would have gotten an intelligible answer anyway. Minutes later after the tears finally slowed and she felt like she could breathe again, Katya inquired gently, “The fight?”

Courtney nodded her head sadly, burying her face in roommate’s hair as another tremor passed through her. Softly, the younger woman asked, “Do you want to talk about it now?”

The Aussie shook her head; 'No.’

“Later?”

Nodding, Courtney let out an unhappy noise of confirmation.

“Okay,” Katya agreed, “Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here.”

“Thanks,” the older blonde mumbled as she fought to keep her voice from breaking. “Can we lay here for just a bit?”

“As long as you need,” Katya assured her. “I’m not going anywhere.”

***********

And later that night they did talk. Courtney fought back a fresh onslaught of tears but she made it through without falling apart again. Katya listened patiently as the Aussie vented about everything from the fight itself to how fucking miserable she was already. She and Willam had made plans earlier to hang out tonight but there was absolutely no way she was even going to attempt to keep them. As upset as she was with herself, she still fucking pissed at Willam. Courtney wondered aloud why Katya wasn’t upset over her baseless assumptions as well.

Giving her roommate an understanding smile, the younger woman informed her, “I don’t think she’s really all that pissed off at me, at least not entirely…When Violet hears what happened, she’ll talk to her.”

“There really wasn’t anything more between you two, right? Willam seemed pretty convinced Violet, you know…really liked you.”

Another reassuring smile was sent her way as Katya set the record straight, “There wasn’t. All we were doing was just having a bit of fun. Vi’s got her own interests and I’ve got mine, we just liked exploring them with each other. It was comfortable. We tried dating for like a week but it was just…weird. We’re not really compatible in that way. That’s why we’re better off as friends.”

Courtney nodded her head and remained silent, finding she was just a bit happier knowing that her own understanding of their relationship wasn’t incorrect. Still though, she hurt…deep in her chest there was an ache and she knew exactly why. “I miss her,” she admitted as a few stray tears began to fall.

“I know,” Katya whispered. “Come here.”

And with that, Courtney buried herself in Katya’s arms for the second time that night as silent tears continued to stream down her cheeks.

More than a week passed before Courtney spoke to or even saw Willam again. The circumstances that led to their meeting were entirely orchestrated by Katya and Violet. For the past few nights, if Courtney could bring herself to go to a club, she made sure it was one well outside the city and certainly one she and Willam had never been to before. It was a hassle sometimes and almost not worth the effort because she still had to keep herself sober enough to drive home but as long as it minimized the chances of seeing the dirty blonde, she would gladly continue this behavior. One of those nights, Katya managed to convince Courtney to come to her and Violet’s show. She argued it had been quite awhile since the last one and maybe even a change of scenery would be good for her. Courtney told Katya that morning she’d think about it while at work though she was feeling more inclined to stay in that night.

What sealed the deal for her attendance was actually Violet casually inquiring if she would be making another appearance tonight. Her smile and tone were so disarming that Courtney forgot for a moment who she was talking to. Violet could be so charming when she wanted to, it was probably how she always managed to find the best deals with the shop’s suppliers. Looking back, Violet’s gentle probing probably should have been a tip-off for Courtney that the pair had something planned.

The realization that the two could possibly be working together only hit her as she allowed them to escort her back to the dressing rooms on the basis of wanting to talk. It was hardly a surprise to find Willam already sitting on the couch, shooting up from her seat the second she saw Courtney. The pair glared at each other once more but before either could make a move to leave, Courtney found herself pushed inside the room, courtesy of Katya, and the door was quickly shut.

“Talk!” Violet commanded. “We’re not letting you out until you do!”

And they probably wouldn’t, Courtney thought bitterly. Her eyes glanced to the window in a half-serious contemplation of escaping but she doubted she could slip out gracefully, at least not while she was unsure of what the window opened up to.

Begrudgingly, she sat herself down on a lone folding chair away from Willam and crossed her arms over her chest. Willam herself flopped down on the couch in a huff, refusing to look anywhere near Courtney’s side of the room. Neither woman spoke for the longest time but Courtney was glad in a sick sort of way just to see Willam again. Every so often she stole a glance or two until finally their eyes connected with a look of shared guilt. Each broke the contact after a few seconds but like gluttons for punishment, they found their gaze drifting back towards one another.

To Courtney’s astonishment, Willam seemed just as unhappy as she was. It looked as if a part of her was longing to say something but pride forced her to bite her tongue. Courtney played with the rings on her fingers for a few seconds before deciding to swallow back her fear and speak first. Her voice came out weak and wavering as she whispered, “Bill?”

Willam head instantly shot up and she stared wide-eyed at the blonde, waiting for her to speak. Courtney’s heart felt like it leapt to her throat as she apologized, “I’m sorry.”

Just a second passed before Willam was off the couch making her way to Courtney. Meeting her halfway, the pair stopped within a foot of each other unsure of what to do next. Willam made the first move and pulled Courtney into her arms. Her hands clutched desperately at Courtney’s back, a silent indicator of just how much she missed her friend. Understanding the meaning behind the gesture, Courtney’s hand found its way to Willam’s waist as the other ran its fingers comfortingly through her friend’s dirty blonde curls. Softly, she murmured, “I missed you, too.”

Willam just nodded, her body shaking just slightly, as she confessed quietly, “’m sorry. I didn’t mean it before.”

“Hey, its okay. We both crossed a line.”

“A couple,” the dirty blonde agreed. “Can we just…go get some drinks and forget about this?”

“Sure,” Courtney replied amicably. “There’s a pretty good bar downstairs after all.”

#albatross #shinkx #trixya #one-sided jivy #vatya #flowershop au #fluff #Smut #jinkx monsoon #willam belli #sharon needles #courtney act #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #ivy winters #rpdr fanfiction #the language of flowers #courtney x katya #lesbian au

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lowcarbnutrients · 6 years

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Guide to Breaking Through Your Diet Plateau

#Diet Detective's #Guide to Damaging Through Your #Diet Plateau

Your body has a reduction in lean body mass (muscular tissue), which can be a repercussion of #weight loss in several circumstances. There is likewise water loss (which you count as weight reduction, however is truly just water loss), which quits after a while. When you cut calories, your body has to obtain power from someplace, so it launches energy that is stored as glycogen in the muscle mass and the liver. Glycogen keeps water, so when it is used to supply your body with power there is likewise a loss of water in your system that leads to water-weight loss.

Additionally, your basal metabolic rate adjustments-- it decreases, and your total caloric requirements are lower. Generally, you begin burning less calories than you did before, that makes feeling since you're lighter, and you're relocating much less mass (since you shed weight), so you shed less calories. That's not the complete picture. There is a procedure referred to as "adaptive thermogenesis," wherein your body is adjusting and also developing a new calorie shed price. Bad!

According to scientists at Laval College in Canada, "The link observed in between the adaptive decrease in thermogenesis as well as the degree of weight loss suggests that the better the portion decrease in body fat, the higher the reduction in adaptive thermogenesis, and also therefore the higher the complete thermogenic economic climate." Indicating the much more you lose, the fewer calories your body burns at rest, which suggests it comes to be more challenging to slim down. Inning accordance with research study performed by Darcy L. Johannsen and also coworkers at the Pennington Biomedical Research Center, when you burn fewer calories while you are resting, your price of overall weight-loss likewise slows down.

It could be worse if there is fast weight reduction, that makes feeling, taking into consideration the faster loss of lean muscle mass, which melts a lot more calories than fat. According to Dr. Johannsen's research study, however, despite having a conservation of lean muscle, #exercise really did not protect against the slowing down of the resting metabolism.

The researchers checked out severely overweight people who lost a substantial amount of weight and discovered that by the 6th week of weight-loss participants' metabolic process had been minimized by approximately 244 calories daily-- that's one McDonald's hamburger previously burnt that's not being melted. At 30 weeks the number of calories individuals shed at rest each day was reduced by a massive 504 calories. Wow, that's almost a McDonald's Huge Mac not being melted.

So what can you do (which is most likely ALL you really wished to know)? Attempt the complying with pointers to appear your plateau.

Acceptance as well as Assumption Administration

Weight-loss programs typically generate a 10 percent weight loss. The trouble is that several individuals do not find this acceptable. It's just not nearly enough in the majority of circumstances. You can possibly accomplish the weight you do desire, or even reset your metabolism, nonetheless that's mosting likely to take time. It won't occur in 6 months, instead you should anticipate a two-year procedure. This is just conjecture on my part based upon experience. And also, not to earn it appear even worse, research study showing up in the journal Depression and Anxiety suggests that there is additionally the chance you will become depressed by the absence of fat burning at the plateau level.

Increase Protein Consumption

First of all, foods that are high in protein slow down the activity of food with the intestinal system, as well as slower tummy emptying means you feel complete longer and also obtain hungrier later on. The evidence also recommends high-protein meals cause a minimized subsequent calorie intake.

Protein can also assist to keep blood sugar steady, preventing the quick surges that could occur when you eat carbohydrates that are swiftly absorbed (e.g., white bread).

-Poultry: The leanest selection is white meat from the bust of hen or turkey without skin (also if it's ground). Other ideas:

- Get rid of the skin, either prior to (far better) or after cooking to lower the fat material by virtually half.

- As opposed to butter or oil, try flavorful vinegars, wines, herbs, flavors or citrus fruit.

- Bake, roast, broil, grill, poach or stir-fry utilizing food preparation spray.

- Prevent duck, which is very fatty.

-Fish: Fish is an excellent resource of both protein and also heart-healthy omega-3 fatty acids.

-Meats (consisting of beef, veal, pork and also lamb): They must be lean, with visible fat eliminated. Control part dimension and frequency,

- The leanest beef cuts consist of rounded steaks and roasts (eye round, leading round, lower round, round idea), leading loin, leading sirloin, chuck shoulder and arm roasts.

- The leanest pork selections consist of pork loin, tenderloin, facility loin and ham.

- Select extra-lean hamburger. Try to find a minimum of 90 percent lean-- 93 percent or 95 percent is even much better.

- Prevent meat that is heavily marbled-- that is, streaked with fat.

-Egg whites are virtually fat free. If you don't such as plain whites, combine one-third egg whites with two-thirds entire eggs, and also after that progressively decrease the quantity of entire eggs.

- Nuts, seeds, beans and vegetables are super-healthy, however nuts and also seeds are extremely high in fat (although it excels fat), so ensure to restrict portion sizes.

It's NOT Just Numbers

There are various other vital variables that are essential for how you feel. Don't just concentrate on the numbers. Do you have a little additional zip? Are you resting better? Feeling much healthier? Extra energised? You are most likely continuouslying gain from your exercise as well as diet plan also if you are not seeing cause your weight.

Increase Your Exercise and also Exercise-- A Lot

You should increase the period or intensity of your CURRENT workout. You have to stroll a little farther or a little faster.

That doesn't mean you need to go out and compete three hrs every day. So what should you do? Stroll-- stroll for at least 60 to 90 mins daily. Are you assuming that's too much, just how could you possibly fit it into your currently hectic life? If so, you need to recognize that you do not need to do the whole 60 to 90 minutes simultaneously-- you just should get it in at some point throughout the day. Also, you can bike, utilize an elliptical machine fitness instructor or swim rather than walking.

What regarding sporting activities like basketball, tennis, etc.? Those are great, too. The only issue is that you commonly do not do them daily, and also you're aiming to develop regular, automatic behaviors-- which implies doing the very same thing everyday with no breaks.

Strength Training

Strength training or lifting weights builds muscular tissue mass, as well as muscles are more energetic compared to fat when it involves melting calories.

Change Your Workout Routine and also Shock Your Body

Keep in mind that your body adapts to repetitive training stimulations. The solution? Obstacle yourself. Exercise researchers recommend changing your regular every 2 weeks. Attempt some brand-new exercises, or do the exact same exercises, yet a lot more vigorously than before. Also little changes can make a difference. Adjustment the strength of your workouts. Run or walk up a hillside instead of on level ground, add an incline to a treadmill workout or run much faster. If you are weight training, replace several of the exercises with new ones that work the very same muscle mass teams. An additional way to change strength is to add even more time to your workouts.

Use a Gadget and/or Application

There are a lot of fantastic health and fitness and food applications and also gadgets out there today (e.g., Nike+ FuelBand, LINK by BodyMedia, Fitbit, and so on). The FitBit has been getting great testimonials recently. If you want to remain old-fashioned, simply get a basic digital pedometer. However you require some means to track your activity, so you recognize what to do to enhance it.

Social Support / Find a Buddy

Another way to maintain your spirits up during a weight-loss plateau as well as throughout the weight-loss process is to resort to a friend. Despite how motivated you are when you begin a new regimen, you should have a person there to keep you from coming to be discouraged to make sure that you don't return to your old consuming methods and also can make it through this plateau procedure.

Write it Down, Take a Picture or Make use of an App

Most people do not truly like keeping a journal, yet it is also a great strategy. When you create whatever down, it keeps you in contact with what you are doing. You must jot down exactly what you're eating at every meal as well as what you did during your exercise. A journal is additionally a great location to express your irritations and provide yourself some favorable reinforcement. You could additionally look back and follow your own success as well as refer to them if an additional plateau comes along.

A food journal will certainly supply a heightened self-awareness, which is an early action toward actions adjustment as well as an actually efficient 'self-monitoring' tool. There are now several smart device apps as well as other tools to aid you to maintain track-- also those for taking photos of every little thing you consume, such as Dish Snap.

It has actually been well documented that a number of us have difficultly understanding the caloric worth of the foods we consume. Actually, we usually underestimate calories in foods by as long as 45 percent. Also signed up dietitians underestimate the calories in foods by as much as 16 percent. I'm not recommending that you start counting the calories in everything you consume, nevertheless, it would certainly be valuable to at the very least get a concept of the cost of exactly what you consume.

Too Much Fruit

Fruits generally are higher in sugar compared to veggies, as well as vegetables are typically reduced in calories on a per-gram basis. Don't obtain me incorrect: Fruits are still a fundamental part of your diet, however you should rule out fruit a cost-free food. A lot of non-starchy veggies (e.g., broccoli, cauliflower, peppers, celery, and so on), on the other hand, are extremely low in calories and also sugar, as well as you could typically consume as much of them as you like without fretting regarding your weight.

Watch Your Alcohol

Many dieters forget that beverages have calories-- great deals of them. Simply having one beer a night includes even more than 1,000 calories weekly. A number of glasses of wine over the program of a dish can conveniently include as several as 400 calories. Remember, the alcohol is what includes the majority of the calories, so the reduced the alcohol web content, the reduced the number of calories. There are seven calories each gram of alcohol, compared with four calories per gram of either carbohydrates or protein. (Fat contains 9 calories per gram.)

From a physiological perspective, alcohol can create your blood sugar degree to drop extra swiftly, which could promote your cravings and interrupt your ability to inform when you've had sufficient to eat.

Here are a few ideas: Stick to beer or wine. Light beer has 100 calories a bottle, contrasted with 150 for a regular beer. And while 5 ounces of dry wine or Champagne will cost you just 100 calories, keep an eye out for wonderful treat wines, which have 226 calories for 5 ounces. Keep an eye on the number of glasses of wine you have and don't overdo, and stay clear of high-calorie mixers. Alcohol itself is packed with calories, yet when you add mixers-- soda, juice, syrup and various other components-- beware! Miss anything creamy, icy or fruity.

#diet #diverticulitis diet #slim down #weight loss

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flairmagazineblog · 3 years

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Spain To Egypt: Amir Samahy's Take On 'Go! Padel'

Padel has recently emerged as the coolest and rapidly expanding sport on the worldwide stage. The International Padel has grown at an exponential rate from its inception to today. Originally, Enrique Corcuera designed the padel in 1962 at Las Brisas, a villa near Puerto de Acapulco, México. Since then, the padel has expanded internationally to reach all regions of the world, an ideal sport for people of all ages and athletic ability because it is easier to understand and needs technique rather than muscle. Brought to Egypt in 2014 by none other than Amir El Samahy, the founder and sports leading whizz of the Go! Padel Egypt club series. We are thrilled to present to you our chatter with him on his take on Go! Padel, his journey, and ceaseless accomplishments so far.

How did it all start?

It was and still is a long journey. It was never easy at the beginning though, I nearly spent all my savings on the four courts I opened in Katameya Heights. I started in February 2014 in Katameya Heights but after working hard for four years in 2018, one of the biggest sporting clubs in Egypt – Shooting Club – was looking for someone to construct and manage their four courts, Go! Padel won the bid and that was the real boom for Padel in Egypt, when it entered one of the biggest governmental sporting clubs in Egypt.

What is Go! Padel?

Padel is a hybrid of tennis and squash. It is often played in a duo of men or women or mixed doubles on an enclosed court encircled by the glass and steel mashed walls. The court is around one-third the size of a tennis court. The ball can rebound off any barrier, but it can only contact the turf once before returning to the player. When the ball bounces twice in the opponent’s field, points are awarded.

Do you have to practice Padel at an early age?

Padel is a sport that responds to the qualities of its participants and can be done at any age, regardless of whether you are young or daring to start playing it at a later age. It is self-evident. Padel is a sport of balance and instincts, therefore with each practice, you will enhance these characteristics, which will also help you in other parts of your daily life. That is why we always have people who keep coming back to play and inviting new family members and friends to join.

When did Padel become a significant sport in Egypt?

One of the things I studied is the evolution of padel throughout the years, from the late sixties to boom through the nineties. It all started with José María Aznar, a Spanish politician who was the Prime Minister of Spain from 1996 to 2004. He was a padel freak, and hence, eyes were all focused on this sport ever since. Today, Spain has over 26,000 padel courts and still counting. Hence, it started to expand the worldwide nation of all countries. Egypt has on its own 65 padel courts where I own around 70% of the market, so I am extremely happy that a sport like this has reached the eastern region in a short period.

Does it eliminate stress?

Practicing paddling is a great way to unplug from the outer world. There will just be you and your friends here between four walls. Even if the match is with coworkers, the Go! Padel will help you forget about other things and separate from your troubles.

How did you decide that padel was your long-term thing?

Well, long story short – I decided to take on squash professionally after college, so I moved to Spain. It was an epic decision back then since I have always wanted to work in any field related to sports by all means. I had numerous trials to bring it home with me in 2012 but it didn’t work at the time; however, in 2014, I gave it my best shot with Katameya Heights and all puzzles fell into place after ceaseless hard work and immense planning.

Tell us more about the challenges you faced to get and build Go! Padel in Egypt.

The challenges were a handful at first, we are talking about a project that nearly cost a hot 1,600,000 EGP in 2014 which was a huge amount back then. I had to convince my friends to take a chance with me after excessive studying and researching to invest in this project. It didn’t come as easy as one might think. It took six months of learning the highest certificate coaching program ‘National Head Coaching’ in Madrid, managing the sport from A to Z, be it private lessons, building courts, rentals, and more. I also had to convince a major club as Katameya Heights to invest in my vision and it took a while but it paid off eventually. So, it takes belief, hard work, and dedication to make anything successful and most importantly sellable.

You have more than 15 branches all over Egypt, are you considering spreading the sport on a wider scale?

Today, we are invested in continuous competition with the spread of the game. Go! Padel has 15 branches across Egypt. I opt to maintain the quality in each one of them, whether to bring the best coaches, build impeccable courts and provide the best equipment. I aim to put my vision of presenting fun and health in people’s lives into reality and to leave an imprint in the world of sports.

Recount your journey, mentioning who was your support system in such a long and fruitful one?

From a very early age, both my parents encouraged me to play sports, take part in a competitive environment and try new things. without fear or backing up. Once I knew I wanted to put my mind and soul to make Go! Padel happened, they supported the idea with no hesitation or doubts. They knew I had to put nearly all my savings into making that happen; yet, encouraged me to do my part of studying very well and measure the pros and cons of everything beforehand.

Do you want your kids to be active and take on sports as well?

When I first was introduced to the world of sports, fewer families than today have been willing to encourage their kids to invest their time into playing sports. Luckily, my parents were keen on supporting this decision and that is what I am trying to do as a parent now. They don’t have to be champions but they need to be active and aware of their health. They can choose to pursue anything they want, for I will support them and their decisions no matter what. However, like with any sports, practice will help you tone muscles, particularly the legs and glutes, but the arms, waist, and back will also be improved by the many motions required to make the plays and stay fit.

It was just announced that Go! Padel is launching its first women and mixed tournament in the west, in which the tournament will take place from the 24th-26th of June At MALL OF EGYPT. Tell us more details about the tournament and how excited you are about it.

Through the numerous campaigns we are working on, I still have in mind different goals and aspire to reach them. I have endless passion when it comes to spreading the awareness of healthy competitiveness and teamwork today more than ever. Talking parents into allowing their children to be involved in sports and travel with their teams to compete in international tournaments to build their sense of belonging to their homeland is major to me. Making room for women to partake in such a vision is also crucial. The ratio is 8:1 for men to women when it comes to padel in Egypt. That’s why I am so thrilled to have worked on a ‘women’s movement’ initiative to shed light on an important category of society. This tournament and event will highlight the role of women in the sports section.

Why is ‘Spread the Game’ the first women & mixed tournament in the west launched just now even after more than two years of the existence of Go! Padel?

This is a campaign I worked on with the City club to create fifteen locations across Egypt with all of its suburbs. We already constructed and managed the first three courts in Shebin El Kom, Kafr el-sheik, and Tanta.

Spain To Egypt: Amir Samahy’s Take On ‘Go! Padel’ was originally published on FLAIR MAGAZINE

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rosymorning · 3 years

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Good morning, everyone. This is a Sad Emotional Ranty post that has nothing to do with our beloved ship or the show it comes from, and I don’t want anyone to dive down the rabbit hole of Rosy’s Issues without their knowledge and consent. I’m also not sure if there’s anything below that ought to have a CW applied to it; there might be, and there are certainly messy feelings, and I don’t want anyone’s mental health to suffer because of me. Please feel free to back it up and head off to sunnier posts. 💜 Off we go then.

(Much more below...)

I need to be vague because I don’t want there to be any chance that who I am and where I work could be positively identified, so I apologize in advance. My job is very people-focused and requires an incredibly broad specialized knowledge and skills base, much of which is considered archaic and sometimes beyond the ability or ken of normies. Now, I love my job. It’s stupidly hard some days, especially as I am very much an introvert (and suspect I might have ADHD, but can’t confirm it right now and that’s a topic for another time), and I must interact with people a great deal, but I love it. It too me years to get here, and much of that time was spent submitting myself to work that was degrading and spiritually deadning and left me feeling like a hollow shell of a person. But I made it at last, and life is so, SO much better now, it’s not even funny. It’s my very first year at this job in my current, you’re-in-charge-of-everything-in-this-area form, and my first year in this location. Naturally, I have made about a billion mistakes, but honestly it’s all right; “if all you ever do is win, you never really get stronger,” and “perfection is what makes [progress] possible,” after all. HOWEVER.

On Friday, I was working with...let’s call this person a client, even though that’s not strictly accurate. A coworker came into my room to get something for a later professional event we were working together. He insisted that he could look for it on his own so I could work with the client. Okay, fine. Unfortunately, this translated to rifling through things on my desk a little and just sort of...hovering around. Meanwhile, the client was struggling with a particular complicated skill, and not getting anywhere. My brain was fried. It was 4:45 in the afternoon, I had met with 40 new people this week (that is not an exaggeration, it was literally 40 new potential clients in the space of 4 days), I was distracted by this man in my room digging around in my stuff, I haven’t been sleeping well, and I could not think of how to help her. So he turns around and says, “Do you mind if I step in?”

If you’ve made it this far, you deserve more backstory. When I was completing my final internship before licensure in this field, I worked with two people who did not think highly of me, any skills that I might have, my philosophy re: the discipline, or any number of other things. More than once they implied that I was a disgrace to the profession and it would be better for everyone if I just quit and did something else, that I was causing active harm by being there. (So far, they are the only ones who have said this to me, and my supervisors and other mentors have been wonderfully supportive and very pleased with my work.) So as my coworker is turning around and wresting this session from me in front of my client, all of this flashes through my head.

So of course I said yes. The most important thing is that the client receives the help to grow and master the skill, not my ego. No one’s life or health was in danger, either, so it shouldn’t have been a big deal. But I could just feel my shattered brain melt and everything in me tensed up and I just wanted to crawl into one of the spidery corners of my room and curl in a ball and sob. And in fewer than 6 hours, I will be at the professional event with him, the client, and several other clients, and a huge community group watching. And next week I will be working with all those clients again. And I feel disgusting, stupid, miserable, like a giant hack who doesn’t know what the hell she’s doing, like all those horrible things my internship mentors said about me might actually be true and I’ve just been deluding myself into thinking that I could be competent and effective. That I really am a disgrace and that the right, ethical, honorable thing to do would be to quit so that I’m no longer doing active harm to these people’s attempts at growing their skills. I have spent much of the last two days hating myself and my hubris. It’s been compounded by him sending me various resources that will no doubt help me improve, but that I didn’t ask for, and certainly not from him, and with no encouragement or reassurance whatsoever. All I can do is assume that this is a giant red flag that I am a waste of money and space, professionally speaking.

My wonderful, loving, supportive partner thinks this situation is nowhere near as dire as I’m afraid it is and has done their best to bolster my spirits and help me through. Meanwhile, wild scenarios that involve my coworker going to my bosses and telling them that I am not a competent professional, followed by me getting dragged into the office for a dressing-down and a “EXPLAIN YOURSELF YOU LIAR” keep running through my head. I just want to cry, but I don’t have time to do so, and the tears aren’t coming anyway. The only way out of this is through. And then the question is, what is the right thing to do? I want this career, I sweated and cried and bled and lost sleep and health and more years of my life than most people know to get here. But if I fail his hard at one simple thing, I don’t know what right I have to be here.

If you made it all the way down here, please accept my gratitude. I hope that your day was not made worse because of it. Please be kind and gentle to your inexperienced coworkers, and correct them somewhere in private (so long as there is no need to step in immediately for the sake of health and safety), and let them know while you do so that it’s going to be all right and they will be able to grow past this and it’s just a little thing that they can 100% fix. Please. Give a little light and warmth to the world today. Love and peace to you all. 💜

#not fanart #can’t talk about this with too many people irl #new job #sorry y'all #thanks for reading though

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gilbirda · 6 years

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Human courting is confusing. Chapter 20

Here’s the next chapter and the last wedding one. I don’t know when I’ll have the next chapter, my life is going to be difficult next week.

And I’m trying to think stuff for the MTNN week! I’ll do what I can.

[FF.net][Ao3]

First Chapter |<< Previous Chapter | Next Chapter >> | Last Chapter

Day 20: Dancing.

The hotel where the reception was held didn't have any grand chandeliers or fancy decorations, but Yako liked it very much. They decided to spend the rest of the wedding money in one of the biggest buffets the city had ever seen, and even if half of it was meant for the bride (who didn't even blush once while devouring the food), there was more than enough food for the people invited to it. It wasn't as private as the previous ceremony, but journalist weren't allowed to enter. Everyone seemed to want the exclusive of the famous Detective Yako Katsuragi marrying her humble assistant.

The blonde could already hear the news tomorrow and was grateful that they wouldn't be here to see their faces all around the place and hear people talk about her early and sudden marriage. She was sure that they'd suspect a child with all the rush. Or even a secret engagement. Anything and everything they could make up, they would throw it at her without mercy.

She wondered if she would still do her job when they came back, whenever that is. Maybe they'd arrive to a burning place and an angry mob at her door or maybe they'd be pressured to more interviews and more jobs. The last option could be beneficial as Neuro needed mysteries to keep living on the surface and Yako wasn't up to spend her eternity in Hell, so she tried not to dwell too much on it. That was a problem for the Yako of the future.

Right now she focused on dancing with her new husband for the first time. They had never danced before, so this new experience was exciting for her. Their eyes crossed paths as she took his hand and put it on her waist, then putting her left hand on his shoulder and grabbing his left hand with her right one. She asked him if he could dance, worried about this very moment, but he answered that the internet had so much information about it that he didn't need to practice.

Well, she did need it; so when she started to step on his feet he chuckled and lifted her so she was barely floating above his black dress shoes, making in easy to look like they had practiced before this and the groom didn't have superhuman strength. She laughed happily as the music coming from the hired quartet (that was the Police department's gift to the detective for everything they did for them) softly swirled around the room, inviting more people to join them in their dance. To her, only them mattered. They were married. It was official.

"It seems that we have company," Neuro muttered before letting her down with a soft thud. Yako turned to find herself before Higuchi, and smiled at her friend.

"Congrats, Detective," the man smiled and patted her shoulder. He had to admit that she was radiant this day, if she wasn't already.

"Thanks," she said happily.

As she looked at him with those big, pure brown eyes, he pondered the hidden feelings he have had about her all this time, how he felt when she was left alone after Neuro suddenly disappeared and how she picked herself up from the ashes and worked to be what she is now. He loved to hear about her. And now she was even brighter than before, with her "assistant" by her side.

He was no fool. He couldn't compete with what they had, whatever that was. That guy was something else and Yako didn't seem to settle with less; heck, not even him was enough for her now. He tried to get her attention, asked her for a few dates even, but she had always that faraway look, like she was waiting for something else, like she was analyzing him until he broke. She was more like him. And a simple human like him wasn't enough to fill the hole.

And he was okay with that.

"You may want to stop your other assistant from drinking his brains out," the hacker pointed something behind him with his thumb, "or from spilling some kind of secret about you."

Yako panicked and looked back at the drinks table, where Godai was gulping down a cup of his drink like it was water, which definitely was not. The bride thanked her friend and walked to the blond man, finding out that he was crying like a newborn baby and hugging a bottle of vodka, mumbling something about monsters and innocent girls lured to their lairs.

"Yako! Oh thank God," the stench of the alcohol was too much for her to bear, but she picked him up with a little effort and sat him on a empty chair. "Yako, you can't marry that monster! He is going to eat you!"

"Well, he is not wrong," she heard the voice of said monster, making her panic. She turned and looked around, her face as red as a tomato, checking that no one heard him.

"Neuro! Behave yourself."

"How could you?" moaned Godai, still hugging his bottle, "How could you steal her innocence and drag her to Hell with you! Monster!"

A few people turned their heads to see what the commotion was about, murmuring questions and wondering why the man was talking about Hell. Yako paled. No, please, not like this.

"I suggest that you shut up before you leave this place with a fewer limbs, slave #2," said the demon in a low voice. That seemed to work on Godai, as he gulped and dropped the bottle, his eyes very open. And then, like his most deep secret hadn't been exposed, Neuro turned to the little crowd that had gathered around them, pulled Yako to his body in something that resembled a hug, and laughed. "Well, it seems that someone is jealous! My my, sensei, I didn't know that you were such a two-timer!"

Used to the weird detective and her assistant's humorous gags, people laughed too and let it pass as a quarrel between coworkers.

They turned back to the very drunk man and found him asleep. Well, at least he won't be making trouble again.

"Don't do it," Yako said to her husband before he could move a finger.

"Do what?" he asked with an innocent face, faking again.

"Whatever cruel and inhuman thing you were going to do to Godai-san. He doesn't deserve it even if he almost blew our cover," she looked at him straight in the eyes, serious. He seemed to ponder her opinion.

"Buzzkill," he shrugged.

***

In the end they asked Kanae to bring Godai home, to her utmost horror; but she swallowed her nervousness and unease around the yakuza-looking man (she wouldn't ever know how close to the truth she was) for her best friend and did it anyways.

Feeling more relaxed now, she took a deep breath and winced when her lungs suffered from it.

"Tired already?" asked Neuro leaning on her shoulder, not really caring if she could hold his weight or not, but she was used to it now.

"My heels are killing my feet and the dress is trying to asphyxiate me."

"Wow, if you wanted to feel pain you just had to ask," the demon brought out a rope from a hidden pocket. How could he hide such thing in his black wedding suit, she didn't know, but she sighed anyways.

"Save that for later, I'm hungry and tired," she went to the food table and served herself enough food to feed an entire family for a week, followed by her amused husband, and sat down at one empty table. She started to eat while looking at the people having fun and dancing to the music. Even Usui was attempting to dance, if that was what he was doing.

Neuro sat down beside her and for a few minutes said nothing, he just watched her eat and react at the quality of the food. Maybe it was the festive spirit in the air, maybe it was the new feelings he was having or maybe he was trying to get used to spending so much time with a bunch of humans that weren't mean to be food; but he was feeling… happy? contempt? He couldn't know until he asked Yako about it, and once again that tiny human part of him was basking in thoughts of fulfilment and the woman in front of him.

He didn't like to be ignorant about a part of himself, and he had blamed Yako many times on the last month; but as she made him realize, he was just at fault as she was. He was the one that started this, who embarked in this craziness, as she called the mating, without knowing the risks. But he was no coward and he faced the unknown with enough plans and the ability to adapt.

Maybe this human thing wasn't so bad after all. She looked very happy every time he said that he loved her, every time he asked about human things he experienced. And a happy Yako was a willing Yako.

"Are you smiling, Neuro?" he looked down to the woman, noticing that she was finishing the enormous plate she had served herself. He relaxed the muscles of his face, finding that she was right. He had been smiling. The young woman shivered. "You? A happy smile? Who is going to die?"

"I'm not killing anyone, idiot."

"Please, at least wait until no other human sees you. I don't want to have to explain it."

"I said I'm not going to kill anyone," he clicked his tongue and glared at her, "and if you keep jumping to conclusions I'll bite you. In front of everyone here." She paled.

"Please, don't. I had enough trouble explaining my mother why I wanted to wear a choker with this heat," she pointed to the green accessory hiding the mating mark.

"That's not my problem," it was her turn to glare at him.

"Don't."

"Hm."

He leaned down and got near her throat. When she opened her mouth to express her protest, he attacked her mouth instead, successfully silencing her for tonight. A few people noticed them and 'aww'ed at the newlyweds. What they didn't see was the hidden gloved hand under the tablecloth, caressing her thighs and going up under her skirt.

Yako jumped a little bit at the invasion of her privacy on such a public place, slightly panicking at the fear of exposure. His other hand hold her in place as he teased her on her most private place and his mouth silenced her little surprised sounds and moans. It wasn't the first time he touched her like that, but he knew damn well how it affected her and how much she loved it.

Too soon, he backed out with a last kiss on the lips, followed by a bite on her lower one, drawing a drop of red liquid.

As he licked his lips he watched her fan her face with her hands trying to lower her temperature a little bit, too flustered to relax her racing heart, clearly left unsatisfied and wanting more of that. He smirked. Maybe this human courting thing wasn't so difficult after all.

#majin tantei nougami neuro #mtnn #nogami neuro #katsuragi yako #fanfic #neuyako #gil writes

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wenevergotusedtoegypt · 7 years

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I was expecting this week to be crazy at work, but I don’t think I was prepared for just how crazy.

I stayed an hour late on Friday and worked for an hour yesterday (despite having the day off) in an attempt to get on top of the things I didn’t expect to have time to do this week. I also got to the office a few minutes early today (which is really quite early because I normally arrive late, plus since there are fewer people around then to interrupt me with things they need, it’s usually a more productive time). I didn’t take a lunch break and stayed 45 minutes late. So all in all since Friday I’ve worked about an extra 4 hours. The only break I took all day today was about 10 minutes max of schmoozing with coworkers. I didn’t even check Facebook or anything the entire day. But I’m still massively behind.

After hiring the position I’d been covering for at the end of last week, my boss got the new person into the office ASAP. It was theoretically helpful, and maybe long term it’s practically helpful in that he’ll be all trained in that much sooner, but today was like...omgsh. My boss wanted him to shadow me, but like, most of the work I was doing was MY stuff, not his position’s, so it really wasn’t the top priority for him to know, and explaining to him everything I was doing made it take like 5 times longer. If I hadn’t been absolutely drowning in work I could have just pushed off my projects for a couple days to properly train him, but I really can’t afford to do that currently.

I also wasted an hour getting him and the other new people that started today their IDs so that was unhelpful (I honestly didn’t really need to be there, but bureaucracy).

Also I’ve never trained anyone for a job before and I don’t really know what I’m doing here. I was trained in less than a year and a half ago but I already can’t entirely remember how we went about things. The guy seems competent and like he’ll pick stuff up pretty fast, I just feel totally scattered between how busy I am with my own things and my lack of experience with training people. I feel like things were so much more organized when I started. Then again, when I started was a relatively quiet time of year compared to now, no one else started at the same time as me (vs. multiple other people today), and the person who was training me was the previous holder of my position and hadn’t completely transitioned to her new position yet, so she was more available on multiple levels. Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on myself.

It’s this paradox of, the sooner I get him trained the sooner some of the pressure will be off me, but also, the more time I spend training him, the more behind I get on my work now.

#work

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beeinmybonnet · 7 years

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The Trouble With Women in Tech (hint: it's not biological)

There is disproportionate representation of women in tech and yes, it is a problem.

Advocates of the devil will ask questions such as: Why is it a problem? If women and girls don’t gravitate towards STEM (science, technology, engineering, maths) why force the issue? Well, when the global population is increasingly reliant on technology, from a grass root level through to government, military, education, law, it is important that the 3.5bn female humans on the planet are represented. If the only tech inventors, scientists and luminaries of a generation are boys and men, then women and girls will be at a constant disadvantage in every aspect of life. Using literacy as an example, there is undisputed correlation between a child who can read and write faring better in life than one who can’t. ‘Success’ is subjective and personal, but life is easier for the literate person – and now we need to consider technological literacy as vital alongside reading, writing and numeracy. London School of Economics MSc student Marie Misund-Bringslid puts it beautifully:

“So why should women work in tech? To me the answer is quite obvious. After all, we make up half the users of technology. Tech is all too often designed for great big man bodies, and not for women. This includes vital inventions such as the air bag, artificial hearts and mobile phones. As we are becoming more and more dependent on technology, it makes up an increasingly important part of our everyday lives. It is obvious that women should be as influential in development and creation as men.”

Men and women are different; but they should also be equal in terms of representation in, and benefitting from the outputs of, STEM fields.

Why are girls not as drawn to STEM subjects as boys? Why are there fewer women in STEM careers? What puts women off working in the tech sector? How do we fix the problem?

Many leaders in STEM do appreciate the benefits of a diverse workforce and would gladly hire more women, but they are finding that only 5% of applications for tech positions come from women. Tech sector recruiters concur – not enough women are putting themselves forward in the first place.

This leads to the ultimate question: what do only girl children experience that steers them away from science, tech, engineering and mathematics?

Let’s put ourselves in a girl’s shoes from the very beginning and take a hypothetical journey with her. This should go some way towards highlighting the hurdles and obstacles that she may be forced to navigate in order to become a successful female leader in a STEM field. We are hypothesising and empathising – this is absolutely not a description of every woman’s experience; there are countless differences, factor combinations, levels of privilege, nuances. But all these experiences are going on, in the developed world, right now, to girls and women.

First steps

In the US in particular it’s increasingly common for parents to find out a baby’s gender months before her birth. Whilst not completely mainstream, gender reveal parties are a growing trend – cakes are sliced, balloons are released, powder crackers are pulled with the resulting pink or blue emerging to much excitement from all involved. Unconsciously, and certainly without malice, parents build up certain expectations and ideas about their unborn child based on the result of this ‘revelation’. Even before such celebrations were invented, the first question on anyone’s lips on the arrival of a new baby is “boy or girl?”. This stuff is given real meaning.

There are so many assumptions and unchallenged beliefs based purely on a child’s gender that it is be nigh on impossible to raise a child without any gender bias; those who do try are widely lambasted and mocked. Sugar and spice / slugs and snails. Princesses / superheroes. Beauty / brawn. Of course, many boys and girls fit comfortably into their assigned roles, and many are none the worse for it.

But what of the girl child who asks too many difficult questions, thinks critically, shuns her ‘cute’ toys in order to explore and build and dismantle? She gravitates towards “boy’s” toys, books, games, TV shows and pursuits which are so often based on bravery, discovery, adventure, strength, heroics, risk taking, problem solving and competing. At the very least she is labelled a ‘tomboy’, which serves to let her know she is different, not a ‘normal’ girly girl. She may even be forced to comply, to play the girly girl role, and is denied the chance to follow the interests that lie outside of these parameters. Of course there are the 'girly’ engineers, the super-feminine scientists, but they exist because their environment has allowed them to nurture all sides of their character rather than just one, and they are even more in the minority. Chances are there are few, if any, realistic female role models who she can emulate and look up to. And all this before she even starts school.

School days

Already carrying the weight of feeling “different” from her peers, our inquisitive and scientifically-minded girl child joins the education system. We can now add to the passive, unconscious gender expectations, with some more active gender stereotyping by those around her. Teachers are unwittingly deterring female students from taking maths and science subjects by implying that they are more difficult than other subjects, according to a report published in 2015. Gender stereotyping is a broader issue in schools and the problems associated with gender bias affect boys as well as girls - in some cases secondary school pupils are deterred from choosing subjects traditionally associated with the opposite gender because they feared homophobic bullying. This is particularly an issue for girls in maths, physics and engineering, and for boys in modern foreign languages.

A large number of pupils, both male and female, reported living with a daily barrage of sexist “banter”. These pupils “were aware that some of their behaviours and subject choices are heavily gendered, and often driven by peer pressure”.

Peer pressure can be a minefield, most children want to feel ‘normal’, no teen enjoys having their differences pointed out. It will be even tougher if a school girl is relatively uninterested in all the pursuits that are expected and even encouraged amongst her female peers – such as beauty / appearance, female-dominated subjects, and being popular / sociable. She may start to quieten her voice, withdraw into herself, and feel less brave when it comes to participation in her science, technology or maths lessons. She may feel all too conspicuous – school years are hard enough when one does blend in to the crowd and stick with the mainstream.

Dame Mary Archer, chair of the Science Museum Group, explained “Girls switch off from maths and science around the age of 14… Young role models between the ages of 14 and 16 are really important in showing girls that science and maths are for people like them."

In addition to this she is subjected to the usual deeply ingrained mainstream misogyny, along with all her female peers; she is expected to be aesthetically pleasing, to take up as little space as possible, to be accommodating and apologetic, to avoid being 'bossy’, to take responsibility for any affect she has on her male peers, to behave well, and to not question rules or authority. The aforementioned report also highlighted “casual sexism in class, such as cat-calling, sexist jokes and derogatory language. Often senior leaders would assert that there was no problem with sexist language at their school but students would report it as an “everyday reality”. In extreme cases this language 'verged on bullying’.”

Higher education

So, our young female protagonist has stuck with her STEM interests thus far. She now carries passive, unconscious, preconceived expectations, active stereotyping, gender bias and peer pressure, few relatable real-life STEM role models, a magnified self-consciousness, and she looks to the STEM community for inspiration on what to do next. She is bright, she is still inquisitive and diligent, and she is all the more resolute and resilient having taken a trickier path than many through school. But her proverbial voice is not as loud as it could be, and certainly not as confident as the majority of male voices around her – there is not necessarily a correlation between their volume and the skills and talent behind them.

Indeed, bright girls are much quicker to doubt their ability, to lose confidence and to become less effective learners as a result. As explained by Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D in her 2011 article The Trouble With Bright Girls:

“Successful women know only too well that in any male-dominated profession, we often find ourselves at a distinct disadvantage. We are routinely underestimated, underutilized and even underpaid. Studies show that women need to perform at extraordinarily high levels, just to appear moderately competent compared to our male coworkers.”

Workforce

She overcomes unconscious (and conscious) bias in the hiring process and joins the workforce in a STEM field. She knows that she is at least as skilled as her male co-workers but she watches as those with the loudest voices are progressed and promoted. She is in the minority, and fellow female colleagues are noticeable in their absence. The culture is often competitive, ego-centric and sometimes aggressive. She is none of those things (although she does know some young women who are, and they are labelled unfavourably too). But she is ambitious, and brave. The majority of female friends she has made along the way were dissuaded from even considering a career in STEM, despite their great skill and qualifications, by the reputation that preceded it. Or perhaps they dipped their toe in the water and decided that no, it would take too much extra emotional – and literal – labour to be a woman in STEM.

The Elephant in the Valley was a collaborative effort between seven women in Silicon Valley with backgrounds including venture capital, academia and entrepreneurship. They compiled a list of several hundred senior level women from their collective contact lists and invited them to participate in a survey about gender in Silicon Valley between April and May 2015. 100% of respondents were women, and 100% with at least ten years of experience; 25% of whom were at CXO level, and 22% were venture capitalists or company founders / entrepreneurs.

The results are alarming. 84% of women in tech have been told they are ‘too aggressive’, almost half have been asked to carry out lower-level tasks that male colleagues are not asked to do, two-thirds have felt excluded from key social / networking opportunities, 59% have not had the same opportunities as their male counterparts and an astonishing 90% have witnessed sexist behaviour at company events or industry conferences. When it comes to unconscious bias, 88% of women in tech have had clients / colleagues address questions to male peers that should have been addressed to them, 87% have been on the receiving end of demeaning comments from male colleagues and 60% have experienced unwanted sexual advances - 65% of these were from a superior, and half were repeat offences.

As Bethanye Blount’s and Susan Wu’s examples show in Liz Mundy’s infamous piece in The Atlantic, “succeeding in tech as a woman requires something more treacherous than the old adage about Ginger Rogers doing everything Fred Astaire did, only backwards and in high heels. It’s more like doing everything backwards and in heels while some guy is trying to yank at your dress, and another is telling you that a woman can’t dance as well as a man, oh, and could you stop dancing for a moment and bring him something to drink?”

So, are women in tech doing anything to help themselves? The answer is yes, but of the women who do report sexual harassment, 60% are dissatisfied with the subsequent course of action. 40% don’t report at all because they believe it will negatively impact their career, with a further 30% keeping quiet in order to forget presumably traumatic or at the very least unpleasant experiences. Women in lower paid positions fare worse still as their ability to ‘fight back’ legally is limited financially.

Glass ceilings

Our young woman continues on her journey. She now carries the weight of a lifetime of passive, unconscious, preconceived expectations, active stereotyping, gender bias and peer pressure, few relatable real-life STEM role models, a magnified self-consciousness, the effort of treading a fine line in terms of character traits (she can’t be perceived as too hard OR too soft), casual and recurring sexual harassment or unwanted advances happening to her or around her or both, and the effort required to ensure she cannot be seen to invite it, discrimination (both assumed and literal) around childbearing and family, and prevalent unconscious biases at every level from entry to C suite… and she navigates the casual sexism that ripples throughout in every industry, but is magnified still in STEM.

Sexist conversations infiltrate her consciousness and undermine her confidence. Harassment and discrimination suits abound, and these are just the tip of an iceberg of all the incidences that go unreported or are settled privately in non-disparagement agreements.

She draws on the resilience and resolve that got her through the tough school years, and she ‘leans in’. She collaborates with like-minded and diverse counterparts. She studies, networks, learns and absorbs, seeks inspirational mentors – male and female – and she aims high. She is judged on her appearance more than any male counterpart. There is a perception that she has less gravitas. She has to continually break through the threads of old boy’s networks. She endures and overlooks gender-based (and often patronising) labels such as ‘mumpreneur’ (‘dadpreneur’?), ‘girl’ (no male tech leader is ever called ‘boy’), ‘bossy’ (that old chestnut), ‘feisty’, ‘ball-breaker’, or the classic ‘bitch’. She dreams of the day she is only ever referred to in terms that are applied to both men and women.

Role model

She is accomplished and successful not just because of her natural strengths, interests and conspicuousness, but also in spite of them.

She is a board member or a thought leader or a tech evangelist or a CTO or a luminary or a key note speaker – a celebrated Woman In Tech. She becomes the role model that she needed. And the unborn girl babies will have one more role model to look to for strength and inspiration as they deflect all the outside forces that work to discourage or distract them from their STEM destinies.

In her Fortune interview back in January 2015, hugely influential tech venture capitalist Eileen Burbridge displayed the balanced, logical and inspiring attitude that STEM needs more of:

“I actively seek out strong entrepreneurs – regardless of gender or demographic. For obvious reasons, I take a great interest in women entrepreneurs in particular. Therefore, I try to make myself available to anyone who is interested in connecting, getting feedback – or pitching. Over the years I’ve seen more women entrepreneurs emerging and I look forward to this trend continuing.”

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, she and her VC partners refuse to invest in “jerks”, a business policy that would go a long way towards eradicating the objectionable behaviour that’s disproportionately rife in STEM, but such progressive and outlandish business practices are unsurprisingly rare.

The future

We’ve not even touched on the can of worms that is the gender pay gap, nor examined the extra discrimination experienced by non-white women and men. These are hugely important issues in and of themselves – only when we achieve equal pay for equal work and eradicate racial bias and under-representation can we even begin to congratulate ourselves.

In the meantime, let’s celebrate the ones who have made it, acknowledge all that it took to get there, and work to remove the obstacles that we’ve historically put in girls’ paths to STEM success for those who wish to follow in our hypothetical heroine’s footsteps.

#womenintech #brightgirls #women in stem #women in tech #bright girls #silicon valley #eileen burbridge #liz mundy #lean in #bethanye blount #susan wu #heidi grant halvorson #elephant in the valley #dame mary archer

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ebenpink · 5 years

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“Help! My client is in love with me!” How to establish boundaries in your coaching practice—and avoid all kinds of nasty situations. https://ift.tt/2ImLxO9

What do you do when your fitness client asks you out for a drink? Or texts you at 2am? Or slightly recoils from your touch during an assessment? When you’re a health professional working closely with people who need your help, things can occasionally get awkward. Use this guide to set professional boundaries, while still creating a trusting coach-client relationship.

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The details: A Precision Nutrition Certified coach—we’ll call her Sue—reached out to our private Facebook group for advice on a serious problem. Her client, also a coworker, had developed feelings for her.

Sue didn’t feel the same way.

She cared about this client and his goals. He’d already lost 50 pounds with her help.

But she didn’t want to be a caregiver or caretaker. His behavior had become an emotional drain.

When Sue tried to distance herself from the client, he lashed out and became self-destructive. His health habits regressed, and he went back to emotional eating.

As a coaching professional, Sue understood the dynamics. She knew the client’s reliance on her had become unhealthy. And she recognized that she herself was becoming more and more distressed.

Understandably, she felt stuck.

She’d have to confront difficult feelings: The client would be upset.

He’d regress: Asking him to change his behavior would cause a health-damaging backslide.

She was also caught in conflicting close relationships: They work together every day.

Tricky situations like Sue’s are very common in health and fitness coaching.

Yet while therapists, psychologists, and doctors are formally trained to navigate the boundary issues that arise in client-practitioner relationships, fitness professionals often aren’t.

So consider this your crash course for conduct, complete with practical tools you can use now, no matter how where you are in your career.

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The relationship between a client and a health practitioner is inherently intimate.

This is true whether you’re a strength coach, a group fitness trainer, a psychologist, a massage therapist, or a yoga instructor.

Deep feelings are discussed. Bodies are touched.

It’s “closeness,” even if it’s not romantic closeness.

As a result of this intimacy, it’s quite common (and natural) for coaches or clients to develop feelings (negative or positive) for each other. Feelings of friendship, tenderness, protectiveness, jealousy, anger, and/or frustration spill into the professional arrangement.

Without honesty, clear expectations, and mature, open communication, stuff gets messy.

Defining and upholding proper boundaries ensures that feelings don’t confuse the ultimate goal: to help the client achieve his or her health goals through self-empowered action.

When we don’t have well-defined and well-communicated roles, everyone is kinda standing around wondering, “What am I allowed to do here? And how are we supposed to interact?”

Anxieties, frustrations, and old hurts emerge, often vaguely and vexingly, and we feel pushed and pulled in many directions.

That’s why we need boundaries.

Boundaries are the invisible lines of division between the service provider and the client or patient, the social (and sometimes physical) norms and practices that define:

who is playing what role (e.g. who is coach and who is client);

what those roles involve (e.g. who provides direction and how); and

what the limits of that professional relationship are (e.g. how available the coach is for the client, or what’s discussed in sessions).

Good boundaries mean that clients:

feel safe and secure with their coaches, trusting they’ll act in their best interests.

understand the care a coach shows is the universal care of an invested, compassionate professional, and not a sign of romantic interest (or some other attachment).

are obligated to show up maturely and responsibly; to regulate their emotions, own their behaviors, and be consistent.

Good boundaries mean that coaches:

avoid ethical breaches or working outside of our scope of practice.

don’t take on more than our share of responsibility for client progress and change.

show our clients clearly who is doing what, when, and how.

recognize the potential power imbalance that is part of coaching, and respect our clients as autonomous individuals.

With clear boundaries, we have fewer misunderstandings and awkward situations.

Which is always good.

With well-defined, strong, healthy boundaries, our “emotional bank account” is freed up to invest in a robust coaching relationship that keeps us as coaches safe and sane, while helping clients reach their goals.

Appropriate behavior is context-dependent.

There’s a green zone: Totally cool almost all of the time. Like smiling and making eye contact as you greet a client.

There are “gray zones”: A little more blurry, and depends on the context and nature of the relationship. Like hugging a client after they just did their first pullup.

And there’s a red zone: Definitely—and always—a hard “no.” Like, “Don’t steal from clients” seems pretty intuitive.

But in real life, boundaries aren’t one-size-fits-all.

Therefore (and to make things more complex), the same action can be “green” with one client and “red” with another.

With a client you have a secure, trusting relationship with, it might be totally cool to exchange the odd gift.

But that newer client you suspect might be crushing on you? Exchanging gifts may send the wrong message and confuse the purpose of the relationship.

Context is everything.

With more experience, trust, and maturity you have more freedom—to get close, to joke, potentially to do or say “inappropriate” things.

With relationships that are newer, more fraught or confused, play by stricter rules.

In terms of ethical codes, health and fitness coaching is a little late to the party.

Other fields of service provision, such as psychology or social work, have clear codes of ethics they abide by.

Many mental and physical health care service providers receive ethics training as part of their certification, but coaches often don’t.

Yet part of your job as a coach is to behave ethically, which includes defining and maintaining clear boundaries.

So Precision Nutrition wrote its own Code of Ethics for the coaches we certify.

You can start with our Code of Ethics as a template, and add to it as you wish, according to your own value system, and the nuances of your practice.

PN Coaching Certification Code of Ethics

In your professional role as a coach:

Act in the client’s best interest. Prioritize their wellbeing, safety, values, goals, and comfort where possible.

Respect the worth and dignity of the clients you serve. Treat all clients with professional courtesy, compassion, and care.

Protect your clients’ privacy and confidentiality. This includes that you:

Follow standard data security protocols, such as protecting your personal logins and storing client data securely.

Be careful what you discuss about clients, and with whom.

Do not disclose personal or identifying details of clients.

Ask permission before sharing anything on social media.

Act with integrity. Make yourself worthy of your clients’ respect and trust. Don’t exploit your clients, financially or otherwise. Don’t seek personal gain from your client relationship (beyond your coaching fees, obviously).

Act with objectivity. Know the rules, regulations, and procedures expected of you, and follow them equitably and appropriately for each client.

Set clear, accurate, and reasonable expectations. Define the terms of the coaching arrangement (e.g. payment, frequency of meeting, how coaching works, etc.) immediately and reinforce them often. Be upfront about what results the client can realistically expect to see.

Have clear professional boundaries. Avoid multiple relationships (e.g. coaching friends or family members; becoming friends with clients) where possible. If you must have multiple relationships, recognize the inherent power imbalance in coaching, and be very clear what hat you’re wearing in a given situation.

Know the limits of your skills and scope of practice. If you can’t serve a client for reasons of ethics or expertise, refer them to another coach and/or care provider if possible.

Keep your skills current. Pursue professional competence, excellence, and mastery. Seek to be a credit to your profession.

8 tools to define boundaries in your coaching practice.

For coaches, there are lots of ways identify, establish, and maintain boundaries in your professional practice. We’ve got 8 to get you started.

The more tools you use, the more clear, comfortable, and secure your relationships will be.

Plus, less awkward situations.

1. Pay attention to your “emotional radar.”

Often, when boundaries get pushed (or trampled on), your body will tell you.

For example, you might notice that around a certain client, you feel tense, “icky,” or even repelled.

If you observe those sensations, check in with yourself.

Are roles defined and contracts clear?

Are you being asked to do things (either implicitly or explicitly) that make you feel uncomfortable?

Are you being exposed to some “TMI” material, either through the content of your client’s words, or images they sent to you?

If you can identify what’s bothering you, work to fix the situation:

Model appropriate behavior.

Communicate clearly, assertively, and maturely. (Keep reading for ideas on how to do this.)

Inform others about your boundaries and expectations for the working relationship. Don’t assume people “should just know” what appropriate behavior is. They might not.

2. Use body language to manage the space between you and your clients.

We “say” a lot without actually saying it.

Humans have a sort of sixth sense when it comes to expressing and reading body language. What we do with our bodies, and what others do, is worth a thousand words.

That means you can actually use your body as a tool to shape the coach-client relationship.

You can use your nonverbal cues to steer or “lead” clients.

For example, if a client is getting a little too close, you can lean or step back a little to increase the distance between you, or put an object between you (such as a desk or bench).

Without using words, this suggests, “This is a better amount of space between us.”

Other times, you may want to encourage closeness.

One simple way to do this is by “mirroring” your clients’ movements (subtly), and making eye contact. This demonstrates your attention and presence, and can foster a feeling of connection.

To convey confidence and authority, stand or sit tall, with good, but relatively relaxed posture. You’ll look like someone worth respecting and listening to.

3. Use your voice to show the right balance of care and authority.

Voices are powerful.

Your voice can command, cajole, calm, or control—and it can help you set and maintain boundaries too.

Generally, a warm, yet professional tone will signify interest and authority.

Speak clearly at a moderate pace, and unless you’re actually asking a question, be careful of a tendency to use a rising tone at the end of a sentence. (Which will make everything sound like a question? And it’ll imply that you don’t need to be taken seriously?)

Match your voice volume and cadence to your client’s to show attunement.

You can also use your voice to steer someone gently if you feel things should be going in a different direction: talking slower and lower to a client who’s gotten worked up and is talking fast and loud; speaking gently to a client who’s intimidated, scared, or defensive; or speaking firmly and clearly to a client who’s gotten a little too… friendly.

4. Write like a pro.

Even if your main jam is one-on-one sessions with clients, talking in an office or on a gym floor, you’ll probably do a fair bit of writing too: in emails or texts, handouts, contracts, and signs on the wall.

Your professional image is reflected in your writing, so cover the basics: Use proper punctuation, check your spelling, and get your message across clearly and concisely.

Make sure signs are clearly displayed and contracts are reviewed and understood, ideally before you begin your coaching relationship.

Signs and contracts tell clients what to expect, what their responsibilities are, and what you’re here for (and not here for). Articulate this up front, and you’ll have fewer problems later.

5. Make informed consent an ongoing conversation.

If you’ve ever joined a gym, had a massage, received psychotherapy, or joined a sports team, you might have had to go through some kind of informed consent and waiver-signing process.

An informed consent form usually covers things like scope of services and liability, and the potential risks to clients. It’s a good idea for every coaching practice to have one.

But it doesn’t have to stop there.

If made an ongoing conversation, the informed consent process can be an awesome, useful tool that helps define boundaries and helps clients feel heard, respected, and comforted.

Check in with your client on consent topics every few weeks. You can organize the conversation around themes like:

What’s happening for you as a client right now? Can you give me a “status update” about how you feel / think about our process, or your current situation?

Are you OK with what’s happening now? Does this match what you expected or wanted? Would you feel more comfortable doing something differently?

Do you understand what’s happening now? Do you as a client, comprehend why we’re doing something, and/or what the risks and benefits are? Do you understand how this activity connects to your goals?

Do you want to continue in this direction? Or do you need a break? Informed consent includes the client knowing that they have the right to say no to anything the coach proposes.

6. Protect your time.

Pop quiz: If a client texts you at 2am, do you respond?

Clients may email, text, or even call at all hours of the day or night. While you can have your business hours clearly displayed on your website, contracts, or signs around your office, clients may still pop in when it’s convenient for them.

That’s OK. (So long as they’re not banging on the door of your personal home at midnight. That’s “red zone” material.)

When and how quickly you respond to clients signals to them what you will accept, and what they should expect.

For example, if you start answering emails at 10:30 at night, a client may expect you to be available during those hours. If you always respond to texts within three minutes, a client may expect nearly immediate answers from you.

You get to decide what your boundaries are here, and what you’re comfortable with. If you don’t want your evenings to be crowded out by client emails, then turn the computer off before dinner, and respond to them in the morning.

Similarly, you get to set the tone for how time is spent during your in-person time with clients.

If a client is consistently late or missing appointments, or if they keep directing the conversation to who they went out with on the weekend instead of how their food journaling went, then it’s your job to gently but firmly call them out.

Sometimes an adult conversation needs to happen.

Like:

“Hey, I’ve noticed that you’ve been 20 minutes late for the last three appointments. Is this still a good time for you? If it is, let’s agree to start our session on time so we don’t have to cut into your appointment time.”

Or:

“It sounds like you had a fun weekend! But hey, I’d love to talk about your nutrition. I know one of your goals is to eat better, and I’m curious to know about how you’ve been doing. The more we focus our conversation, the better we can get both of our needs met.”

Approach these conversations as if you and your client are on the same team, rather than adversaries. Be friendly, and focus on the win you both want!

7. Dress sharp.

One perk of being a coach: You get to dress comfy!

One downside of being a coach: You get to dress comfy! Which means that sometimes, it’s hard to know what looks appropriate and also helps you demonstrate a squat or run a few agility ladders.

However, if you choose carefully, you can convey professionalism in athletic gear.

If you look professional, your clients will be less likely to treat you as a buddy or a potential hookup, and more likely to treat you as, well, a professional.

Make sure your clothes are clean and well-maintained, and that all your, um, parts are contained.

Your dress should also be appropriate to your environment. If you work at a gym, gym clothes are good. If you work in an office, “business casual” is likely the better dress code.

8. If physical contact is necessary, check in with your client’s experience of it often.

If you’re a personal trainer, massage therapist, yoga teacher, chiropractor, etc., body work is part of your job.

Make sure to have clients sign a form that provides consent to touch.

Even with contracts signed and squared off, always ask your clients for permission before you touch them, especially in potentially awkward or vulnerable areas. (This is especially important in situations where touch could be misinterpreted—for instance, a male personal trainer touching a female client’s glutes.)

If you’re a coach, here’s a handy checklist for considering boundaries when touching your client.

Does touching my client make sense in the context of our professional relationship? Am I, for example, a massage therapist or personal trainer legitimately touching my client in particular ways?

Does touching my client raise any issues given our social identities? That’s a fancy way of saying who are you, and who are they? Are you male, female, older, younger, the coach, the client (and so on)?

Does touching my client make sense in a cultural or social context? Different cultures have different norms on touch. And “culture” can be anything. For instance, your local MMA gym may consider it perfectly normal to choke someone with your thighs… but that’s not a good look at your average gym.

What are the benefits to touching my client? Am I helping teach them an exercise, giving them useful feedback, creating a genuine personal connection, and/or calming them?

What are the potential risks to touching my client? Might I be invading their boundaries, making them feel less comfortable, or sending signals that could be misinterpreted?

What are my motivations for touching my client? Is this to benefit them, or me?

Do I know my client’s personal history or level of comfort with touch? Some people have a history of physical or sexual abuse, or simply aren’t that comfortable being touched. Since you likely don’t know all clients’ personal details, start by assuming your client may have some kind of discomfort with touching. Proceed slowly with caution and assess their comfort as you go.

How am I letting my client know what to expect? A simple way to judge comfort is just to announce, then ask. For example, “I’m going to put my hand just underneath your left armpit to feel if your lat muscles are engaged. Is that OK?”

What feedback am I getting? Read body language, and ask. If your client gives you a hearty handshake with a bro-back-slap while making eye contact and smiling, you’re probably good to do the same. If you hug them and they shrink back or go rigid, quit hugging them.

Have alternatives handy. If you’re trying to give a client proprioceptive feedback, you can often use some neutral object (like having their butt hit a wall when you’re teaching a hip hinge). If hugging is a no, you may be able to do a less-threatening touch of the upper arm, or just work your smile and wave game.

And this should go without saying, but we’re gonna say it anyway:

For heaven’s sake, don’t touch your clients inappropriately. If you don’t know what constitutes consent or assault, educate yourself.

What to do next

When your “boundary radar” goes off, pay attention.

Don’t wait or avoid a situation that’s bothering you.

If you do, it’ll often get worse.

Prevention is the best option here, but if that hasn’t worked, then sometimes you’ll need to deal directly with an uncomfortable situation.

If possible, prepare documentation—such as emails, text messages, or a written summary of what happened from your perspective—or discussion topics in advance, and consider your overall strategy before having a difficult conversation.

Remember: You never have to work with someone who’s abusive, aggressive, or otherwise violates your boundaries.

Whether it’s a persistent series of misunderstandings and misalignments; someone who constantly gives you the “ugh” or “uh-oh” feeling; or outright harassment, you never have to tolerate a physically or psychologically harmful situation.

Get out or refer out.

Want strategies to level up your coaching?

It’s no secret that master coaches develop over time, through education and consistent practice, usually under the guidance of a mentor or coach.

Precision Nutrition is the only company in the world that both works with thousands of our own nutrition coaching clients and teaches health, fitness, and wellness professionals our real-world methods for getting results.

And here’s some great news: Our next Precision Nutrition Level 2 Certification Master Class kicks off on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2019.

Want to achieve total confidence in your coaching skills? Get (and keep) more clients? Grow and strengthen your practice? If so, the Precision Nutrition Level 2 Certification is definitely for you.

It’s designed specifically for Level 1 students and grads who realize that knowing about the science of nutrition isn’t enough.

Part master class, part grad program, part mentorship, it’s the only course in the world designed to help you master the art of coaching, meaning better results for your clients and a better practice for you.

Since we only take a limited number of professionals, and since the program sells out every time, I strongly recommend you add your name to our VIP List below. When you do, you get the chance to sign up 24 hours before everyone else. Even better, you get a huge discount off the general price of the program.

[Note: The Level 2 Master Class is only for students and grads of our Level 1 Certification. So if you haven’t yet enrolled in that program, please begin there.]

Interested? Add your name to the VIP list. You’ll save up to 37% and secure your spot 24 hours before everyone else.

We’ll be opening up spots in our next Precision Nutrition Level 2 Certification Master Class on Wednesday, April 3rd.

If you want to find out more, we’ve set up the following VIP list which gives you two advantages.

Pay less than everyone else. We like to reward people who are eager to get started and ready to gain mastery in their coaching practice. So we’re offering a discount of up to 37% off the general price when you sign up for the Master Class VIP list.

Sign up 24 hours before the general public and increase your chances of getting a spot. We only open the PN Master Class twice per year. Due to high demand and a very limited number of spots, we expect it to sell out fast. But when you sign up for the Master Class VIP list, we’ll give you the opportunity to register a full 24 hours before anyone else.

If you’re ready to take the next step in becoming a world-class coach, we’re ready to share our knowledge and help you master the art of coaching.

References

Click here to view the information sources referenced in this article.

Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association. (2015). Standards of Practice (5th ed.) [PDF file]. Ottawa, ON. Retrieved from https://www.ccpa-accp.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/StandardsOfPractice_en_June2015.pdf

Canadian Association of Social Workers. (2005). Code of Ethics [PDF file]. Retrieved from https://www.casw-acts.ca/sites/default/files/documents/casw_code_of_ethics.pdf

Bryson, Sandy. Understanding Professional Boundaries [PDF file]. Retrieved from https://www.dsc.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Understanding-Professional-Boundaries.pdf

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