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popculturebuffet · 2 years

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Thomas and Friends Season 1 Review: Gorgeous Uniquely British Rail Based Insanity (Comission for lachievpoststhings)

Hello all you happy good engines! I”m Jake I review stuff and today we got another comission and for the first time in a while someone liked my work enough to comission me out of the blue.. and when I say a while I mean in the three years i’ve been doing comissions this is the first to not come from Kev or Emma so i’m pleased as punch it happened.

This one is out of my element as this is both a show meant for preschoolers (something i’ve only covered once thus far for my three cabs retrospective) and a franchise i knew nothing about going in: Thomas the Tank Engine, though Lachiev, the nice guy comissoining this was happy to give me some background info and the rest I dug up was fascenating. Add in the fact the show , which I knew as CGI in the present was STOP MOTION, an artform I always love, and narrated by ringo star, who took time out of personally responding to all his fan mail to work on this show, and I was intrigued enough to agree.

And what I got was a mix of delightful model work.. and a rollercoaster of fairly standard, if often charming, episdoes for a show like this.. and insane ones that involve train crashes, attempted murder and bricking a sentient being inside a tunnel “forever and ever” for being naughty and only letting him out when you’ve succesfully broken his spirit.

Nope! Join me under the cut as we take a vacay to the isle of Sodor to visit some silly little engines.

Background

Thomas the Tank Engine started life as a series of books, the Railway series, by Reverend Wilbert Awdry, which is one of the most delightfully british names i’ve ever heard. He was by all accounts a lovely man and, given the series adherence to how railways really worked despite the trains being sentient beings with faces who when angry can bore deep into my soul making holes that willl never heel, it’s not a big suprise he was huge into trains and railways and in retirment still championed for railway preservation.

And some evidence of this is how the books came about. In 1942, yes the stories are that old, Wilbert and his wife were trying to keep their 2 1/2 year old son christopher intertained as he was laid up with measles. Most of their stories failed to help the child.. but he was drawn to the silly rhymes his dad made up about trains, leading to wilbur telling him more stories and elaborating on the ones he had. His wife thought they were good enough she urged him to publish them and after adding a happier ending to one of their stories because without that sequel the execs were rightfulyl worried it’d send every child who read int into depressive crying fits, more on that story later, it was a huge hit. Chris still enjoyed the stories and wanted a mockup of Gordon, the biggest of the train, but since that was impossible for wilbur he instead made a tank engine the boy crhistned thomas.. and the rest as they way was history. The second book was a huge hit and while Wilbur intended to stop after that he continued for the reasons you’d expect

I can’t blame him: He had a family to think of, he clearly loved trains and judging by this series, which is as far as I can tell as straight as they could adapt them, the quality didn’t remotely dip. He continued this into the 70′s before retiring and the series sat dormant. There were attempts to adapt it.. but the timing just wasn’t right: animation was the only way it could go but by the time it had gotten to being on tv the series had been dead for years.

But then lightning struck when tv exec Britt Alcroft saw a reading of the stories and after reading the books herself, saw gold and bought the rights, workign with the reverened and his now grown son to make the show. Chris had not only shared his dad’s love of engines but of thomas, but had wanted to continue the stories, something his dad happily agreed to. Sadly it woudln’t end great iwth rights issues nad creative diffrences sinking it despite his attempts to continue, but it was succesful enough at the time that many of chris’ stories got adapted alongside his fathers.

The series used models, which were made with a combination of actual train models nad resent, carefully put together and used on real tracks. This lead to the series very unique animation style: it is somewhat limited with only the characters faces moving and when they do move it’s clearly like any other model train, and the human characters are just well carved mintiures. Yet.. it works. The faces are incredibly expressive,w ith diffrent ones built, the model train sets are gorgeous, especailly the snow ones to the point I coudln’t tell it was just powdered sugar for most of the first time they used it, and while the characters are only narrated by Ringo, he does so with enough gusto and whismy it comes off charming. Despite a small budget the series FEELS magical and feels like a story book brought to life, with the limited animation feeding into that, the still bits feeling like the imageso n a page. It’s truly awe inspiring they made something so wholesome and fun to watch with just a few simple tricks and a lot of still images. But that’s all the techincals and stuff, what’s the show like in motion?

Stupid Train Children

Thomas and Friends takes place on the british isle of Sodor, based on the isle of man. The reason for picking an island was simple: it allowed the good reverened to still use UK trains, but have an area where he could world build with. Granted this mostly amounts here to just a diffrent assortment of train lines in the series, but it still shows: Sodor feels like it has a specific geography to it and thus feels more alive.

The show follows Thomas and a number of other sentient trains, to the point thomas is often absent from episodes, as they go about their days and usual fuck up and learn some sort of lesson. Their essentially, as lachiev himself brilliantly called them “Stupid Train Children”, with their dad being the Fat Controller. And that’s not me being an ass , that’ what they really call him. As a fat reviewer, I can sympathize.. but I will also call him that over tottinghat because it amuses me.

The show follows a number of basic setups

1) One of the trains gets full of themselves and in their arrogance fucks up horribly and gets humilated for their hubris.

2) One of the trains gets into a silly situation (rarer) 3) One of the trains is a dick to another train or people and general and gets punished for their hubris, with the train or other object with a horrifying flesh face they mocked getting some form of victory, wether it be saving their ass or just showing their useful.

It’s standard kids show stuff, especially for the time. This was the same time period where we got the get along gang, aka OBEY THE MAJORITY CHILDREN OR GOD WILL PUNISH YOU FOR THINE AROGANCE. Or for my fellow 90′s kids, what the buddy bears was making fun of. But it does avoid the pitfalls of shows like said get along conformist half hour. Which is the rare show I will cricize sight unseen because it’s entire purpose is laughably horrible, so there. Here the problem isn’t conformity or anything: it’s just “be kind, don’t get cocky kid, and hang in there even if people are an ass to you, you’ll shine”. There lessons for everyone and even if i’m about 10 times the age of the target demo, there’s still a charm to it. I can see WHY this series has a massive fanbase to this day: it’s simple, but it works perfectly. And frankly that’s the best way to do a preschool show.

As for characters... while there are a lot of them their really pretty one note outside of thomas, who while hot headed and cheeky is a good sort deep down , cares for his carriages annie and clarabel, and will do the right thing and the Fat Controller who while.. very questionable early on, evolves into a loving father figure, to the point he adopts a train he met on vacation. Otherwise the characters are mostly one note or no notes whatsoever, but given the series both moves fast and the purpose of said characters is more to teach specific lessons or show off diffrent types of trains and sometimes other vehicles, I can let it slide. The show is great for what it is and I look forward to seeing more of it. Now I COULD end the review there but that’d be underselling this show. So instead i’m going to go over the season 1 episodes one at a time like I do for venture bros, though instead of in depth analysis i’m going to give a quick review. Some quicker than others. I’ll also be doing only one entry for stories that are two parter.

Here we go!

Episode Guide

Thomas and Gordon

This story was moved up as given the title, they wanted to spotlight the main character and all. This one has Thomas be a bit cheeky to Gordon, the biggest train on the line and also a massive egotistical prick.... and thunder clashed the second I heard that so clearly gordon heard me so if this review is published posthumously, you’ll know why. Thomas chides Gordon saying he wants to pull trains and stuff and Gordon teaches him a lesson as you would.. by doing the train equilvent of tying him to the bumper of a car and letting him fly in the road like a bob stoolie. I mean Thomas stays attached to the train but the principal is the same and he learns the valuable lesson that gordon is to both be hated and feared. I”m also going to be keeping some counts. Sadly not one for accidnetal inneundos though for the record there’s about 127 this season, so it’d be a bit exausting, but for when Gordon’s an Egotisticla prick, and That Seems A Bit Unresonable for when the punishment outweighs what the train did

Gordon is An Egotistical Prick: 1 That Seems a Bit Unreasonable: 1

Gordon and Edward:

Gordon is a big ole bully boy to a little train named edward who ends up saving his ass. None of this is a shock to anyone

Gordon is an Egotistical Prick: 2

The Sad Story of Henry/Edward Gordon and Henry

And now we’ve come to the big one. While the first story caught me off guard for how insane it was, this one REALLY uped the ante. This one is easily both the most cruel and the most insane at once and is thus infamous. And rightfully so, even if it’s direct sequel helps with the sting a bit the sad story of henry is still PROFUNDLY fucked up and is indeed the story Is aid had to have a sequel just to get published and for good damn reason.

So the SSOH starts simple enough: Henry is a train whose being a small bit of a wanker (and yes I know what that actually means, it was intetional) and refuses to leave his tunnel as to not get wet, refusing to listen to his goddadboss fat controller and attempts to push him fail. So the fat Controller’s response? Take away the track in front of said tunnel and brick him up in there, “For always and always”.

Yes this does happen and in the version I watched those are the exact terms. The US version, naturally changed the narration to that. It also left out the part where the narrator says “I think he deserved it don’t you”

Yeah. And while apparently it’s a sore spot to imply henry never got out, and he does next episode and once again punishes gordon for his hubris.. it dosen’t take away the fact the Fat Contorller’s response to an issue was to imprison a train and only let him out because the experimnce of being trapped for DAYS mentally broke him into obedience. I’m not even being cheeky myself, that’s entirely what happens from context: Henry feels bad and is unsuaully helpful after. I can chock this up to early instalment weirdness and the good reverend having been not used to writing on his end, but how EVERYONE working on the show thought this was okay to translate 1:1 is beyond me.

Gordon Is An Egotistical Prick: 2 That Seems A Bit Unresonable: 101

Thomas’ Train

Thomas gets to pull freight but accidently leaves his cars behind. Gordon isn’t a dick for once and this episode isn’t that intresting. Concidence?

Thomas and the Trucks

This one was the title for the first tape I watched, as Lacheiv had me watch some old VHS Rips, which was charming, including the fact that between segments they just had this weird bit showing off the entire cast... including several characters who don’t debut till the second or last tapes.

Fun fact asides this is a decent one enough: Thomas gets to haul trucks, who decide to shove him around and nearly cause an accident because every sentient being in this franchise has to be an asshole for at least one segment. And yes EVERY car or truck on a train is sentient

Not bad, pretty standard stuff.

Thomas and the Breakdown Train

We meet henry, a shiny new train whose basically, at least for now, thomas but red. Another fairly standard ep, Thomas feels bad about himself, but is able to prove himself by saving henry, but it’s still INCREDIBLY important in the grand scheme of things, as this is where Thomas gets his own train line i.e. going from just pushing things around to carrying passengers and his story begins in earnest.

James and the Coaches/Troublesome Trucks

A two parter, this one spotlights james more and again James comes off a lot like thomas, likely because at this stage which train was which only mattered for the bigger trains. The first has james fuck up again first accidently destroying the fat controller’s hat, then angry over that taking it out on his coaches and thus going super fast, annoying and endgagering his guests.. and then literally brekaing down. This also leads to his condcutor needing a guy’s shoe lace to repair james.. and this guy leads to another count I feel i’m going to need especially for the future: Side Character Idociy Count as the guy REFUSES. For no real reason other than to be obscrutive and obnoxious.. which tracks with real life. Thankfully the res to fthe passngers rage is enough to get him to reconsider lest they tie him to a diffrent set of train tracks and wait for nature to take it’s course.

As a result James is confined to a shed though the resulting story is awesome: James admits he was wrong, gets freed to push trucks and works his ass off despite said trucks not wanting to work with a “big red monster”, succesfully winning back the fat controller’s trust. It honestly got me hooked into it, wanting to see james succeed and this two parter feels like a far better version of the henry story: a train screws up thanks to his own ego and has to work his way back, just without the horrifying tourture.

Seems Unresonable: 102 Side Character Idiocy: 1

James and the Express

One more james story, with James getting mocked by Gordon.. only for the egotistical prick to get lost himself, leading to a great comeback by james.

Gordon is an Egotistical Prick: 3

Thomas and the Guard

Thomas accidently forgets his guard, i.e. the guy looking after the train on the inside. Thomas’ coaches annie and clarabell get flehsed out some more. So.. yeah not a lot in this one. LIke I said some are shorter than other so er.. have this.

Yeah that’ll do.

Thomas Goes Fishing

As you can tell by the image of a bunch of grown men fishing inside a horrified looking train car with danger, keep away signs all around him, this is a weird one. Thomas wants to try going fishing.. and is punished for his.. hubris? Is it even hubris to want to try fishing? I mean he is a sapient being and he could probably hold a fishing pole in there? Like.. the story treats this like some moral failing but... he did nothing but want to fish. And as a result he gets a fish in his tank that his conductor and guard have to fish out and utterly humilated? What?

And it gets even weirder: They EAT the fish, having a meal of fish and chips. Yes really. I’m no fish expert but i’m pretty sure a fish you fished out of a train’s boiler should be endeible at best and stomach imploding at worse.

Seems Unresonable: 103

Thomas, Terrance and the Snow

We meet Terrance, a tractor who Thomas insults because Thomas is also a bit of a prick sometimes, if not as much as Gordon. Thomas also has to have a snowplow installed and looks like he wants to murder everyone, but learns his lesson as not having him leaves him snowbound and gives him a new respect of terrance for saving his ass from his own stupidity and stuborness.

This one’s also notable because like I said the set is REALLY fucking goregous. I don’t know how they covered the set in snow so well, as it’s clearly the same sets they used meaning they either made a double, not an easy feat i’m sure, or had to clean all that up. THey get two stories out of it too, so it’s not like it was for a ton or they coudln’t of just skipped this one to avoid the expense, but they did it anywya nad i’m glad they did. This is easily the best looking the series has been up to this point and will be for the rest of the season. Truly top notch work and a fun time.

Thomas and Bertie

Easily my faviorite of season one and for once not a morality tale or anything. This one just has Thomas form a rivarly with a bus who mocks him, and the two and their drivers agree to a race, which kept my attention the whole time. I figured, correctly, thomas would probably win, but it was still fun to watch each twist and turn as both’s natural disadvantages (thomas’ long refuling, bertie having to take longer routes and stop for traffic, thomas picking up more speed as time went on) made for a nailbiting race and the two becoming friends at the end was adorable.

Tenders and Turntables/Trouble in The Shed/ Percy Runs Away

So this one is just... hilaroius. So gordon, henry, his conditiong having worn off and james go on strike as their pissed smaller trains are doing coach jobs while they have to do some of the pushign cars and stuff work. Like a commmener. The fat controller naturally has none of this and grounds them, and just busy a new train, Percy, to show them their not replaceable. Which would be dickish if he were say doing it due to low wages (do these trains even get paid? is this slavery? how ethical is this operation?.. that that’ sgoing to keep me up to night) and not just being egotistical pricks.

They learn their lesson, and Percy later gets into shenanginas because he was too eager to work and nearly runs into gordon.. who for once shows some humiltiya nd is impressed Percy manages to RUN BACKWARDS AWYA FROM HIM. I am too holy shit percy. As you can tell percy became an instant faviorite of mine. All in all a truly fun and hilarious set of episodes.

Gordon is an egotistical Prick: 4

Coal/The Flying Kipper

Oh you thought the series was DONE torturing poor henry?

Nope! This two parter.. ish... is here to pile more suffering on the poor engine. In the first Henry is sick, with his box just not burning as well these days and spends most of the short either exausted or being mocked or harassed by the other trains for “not working hard enough”, and once again is threatned by the fat controller. .though this time it’s with replacement as since the conditioning from the tourture wore off he deemed it ineffective. IT’s honestly the meanest he’s been since that ep.

That being said he does quickly redeem himself as once he realizes it really is a tehcnical issue, he not only apologizes but when needing expensive welsh coal to fix it, he gladly foots the bill. Granted it’s because it’s more practical than getting a replacement train but still, compared to the guy who at the start of the season walled him up forever as a punishment for “can’t make me don’t wanna” it’s progress.

The second part is mostly unrelated but does solve the welsh coal thing: Henry goes on a winter run to deliver the flying kipper, the island’s fish truck... but dosne’t get signaled about danger ahead because the signal’s frozen over. So he HORIFICALLY CRASHES because god regretted the day he made henry and aims to correct his mistake. That said while I assumed there’d be more abuse heaped on the poor engine, instead the Fat Controller shows how much he’s grown again by understanding and having henry rebuilt with a new frame and a better engine. It really makes The Sad Tale of Henry episode more baffling as the character is hardly recognizable by this point in the stories, so why’d they keep him so cruel for that one?

Whistles and Sneezes

What a suprise, Gordon is an egotistical prick, this time getting on henry for whistling now he gets to pull the express. Gordon, like god apparently hates it when Henry has any joy in his life. So are the local kids who break Henry’s windows when he whistles at them, but he gets back at them by sneezing on them, covering them in soot and causing them to die of colera as they brought on themselves. Also Gordon gets his compuance when his own whistle breaks.

Gordon is an Egotistical Prick: 5

Toby and the Stout Gentleman/Thomas in Trouble

This is a nice one where, while a two part story, you don’t get how their connected till halfway through.

The first half spotlights toby and his carriage henrietta (she has no face.. yet but apparently their a couple later. That’s lovely), an outdated train whose sadly being put out of work as the line he’s on in essex no longer needs him. Thankfully he finds a new dad in the form of the Fat Controller whose on vacatoin as the Stout Tentleman and admires toby’s gentle nature and work ethic and since he can always use more stupid train children, he plans to buy him.

And just in time too since Thomas runs afoul of the police. The old kind officer on one of thomas’ routes is replaced with your typical police officer: i.e. a regulation and violation loving asshole woh penalizes thomas for minor things like not having a cowcatcher, even though they’ve never seen any cattle on the route.

Thankfully toby meets the requirements and blows his whistle at the prick so justice is had and Toby gets a new home. All in all a really lovely story. Toby is really likeable even if the non round faces on vehicles creep me th efuck out, he’s the exceptoin. He’s just so sweet and it’s so nice of the fat controller to basically adopt hima nd his wife. Just wholesome and heartwarming all around.

Dirty Objects

James mocks god’s faviorite son Toby for his apperance and is judged by getting covered in muck and humilaited.

Off the Rails

Gordon is an egotistical prick.. again

First teasing James who you THINK would deserve some teasing given how he acted last ep... and yo’ud be wrong as gordon does so whiile saying nothing bad EVER happens to him... with James pointing out his own stupid mishaps to no avail. Then Gordon takes it up another notch by being a picky dickhead , refusing to pull special trucks because i’ts “beneath him”.. and getting stuck in a bog as a result. The fat controller leaves him there to be laughed at till evening as he brought it on himself. I laugh, You laugh, we all laugh. As we should.

Down the Mine

The last vhs title. This time Thomas mocks gordon as he should then gets stuck in a mine due to his own stupidity. This sure was an episode that happened.

Thomas’ Christmas Party

This one is just sweet and a high note to end on. It’s christmas time and Thomas and co are feeling the spirit, and Thomas wants to invite Miss Kyndly to a christmas party. If you don’t remember her don’t be blue, this is her first apperance. And I checked the incident where she helped thomas mentoined hadn’t happened. But she helped him so when she gets snowed in the trains and co all pull together to get her to christmas. It’s a simple, heartwarming christmas tale and seeing the set decked out for chrismtas, as wlel as the image above with all the trains in little santa hats really warms my heart. I may look this one up next christmas, a true treat .

So that finishes season 1. Will I be back for season 2?

Lachiev has already told me be plans to do it in a few months and frankly this was fun. It was good modelwork combined with easily mockable insanity. Just the perfect mix for the work I do. So i’ll see you next time you silly little engines and if you like you can join my patreon bellow and follow me for more content. See ya real soon

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#thomas the tank engine #thomas and friends #thomas the tank engine henry #ringo starr #british television #the fat controller #sir topham hat #animatoin #stop motion animation #scott the woz noise

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torikengel · 4 years

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Thomas Hewitt x Reader (Part 1)

a/n: thank you so much for your support <3 you make me motivated to continue, parts 2/3 and 4 are already on my profile <3

You were traveling with a group of friends across Texas. You were all from a big city, so they decided to go on a road trip. There were five of you in total, two girls, two guys, and you. At first, you refused to go and wondered why they even bothered taking you because they were two couples and you were just the fifth wheel. Well, you weren’t very familiar with one of the couples, but you knew the other one. At least you knew the girl, cause she was the one to invite you to this trip. It was known that you were well off and they desperately needed more money for gas and food on this trip. You weren’t dumb and it was very clear soon enough that the sum of money you were required to bring was much higher than the one of your so-called friends. So why you decided to go? You thought some adventure in your life wouldn’t hurt and you were yearning for some fresh air outside of the city. And it wouldn’t be bad to make some friends along the way, you thought. But soon you realized that wasn’t going to happen. The boys were eyeing you up and down and the girls weren’t happy about you. You would like to think that you were fairly pretty with an attractive face and a nice body. And since Texas is hot you were simply wearing a tank top and shorts. You were sitting in the back seat, buckled up, and looking out of the window as your companions didn’t seem keen on talking with you. “Hey, Emma, can we stop for a while, I need to go… you know,” said Chloe who was sitting next to you in the back seat with her boyfriend Matt to the driver, Emma. “Sure,” Emma responded slightly annoyed. You stopped in a remote town in the middle of nowhere. It didn’t seem that many people were still living there. Emma drove to the nearest shop and parked. The place was swarming with bikers and as soon as Chloe stepped out of the vehicle they whistled at her. “Wait babe, I am coming too,” Matt said as he spotted their sly smirks and how they hungrily looked at his girlfriend. “Y/n? Are you coming too?” Emma scoffed, “I am definitely not stopping again just because of you.” And she vanished in the shop as her boyfriend Chris followed right after her.

Someone should stay in the car and guard our stuff, you thought for yourself. But you really needed to drink something, so in the end, you grabbed your purse and walked in the store as the bikers kept catcalling you on your way. On your way there you saw Chloe and Matt whispering to each other, well if it could be considered whispering, cause you heard them. “Look at that old hag! Bet she never stepped out of this hell hole. Jeez, this town smells bad.” Chloe laughed and Matt added “Yeah, disgusting, now imagine living here babe, I bet they are all diseased.” You turned to the elderly woman behind the counter, you intuitively knew she could hear everything. You grabbed a soda and went to the counter, “I am very sorry.” You said with your head down as you didn’t dare to look her in the eyes. “Don’t worry ‘bout that darlin’, my family is used to this.” When you finally dared to look at her, you could see that her eyes were traveling up and down, scanning your body. Oh well, your clothes weren’t the most appropriate for this traditional part of Texas. “My name is y/n…” you said giving her the money for your soda. “Please keep the change.” You added as you wanted to vanish into thin air from embarrassment. The change you were talking about was like triple the price of soda. “Oh no, m’dear, I can’t accept that.” She finally smiled at your generosity and politeness. “Please, I insist… Mrs.?” You stuttered. “Luda Mae,” she helped you out. “Mrs. Luda Mae”, you repeated, smiling back at her. “Come already, we don’t have the whole day to wait… or we will leave you here!” Chloe shouted from the car and Emma honked. You jumped up and rushed to them while waving at Luda Mae, cause who knows, they might actually leave you there.

Emma was driving and chatting with her friends, not paying attention to you, even though it was she who invited you on this trip. And not only she wasn’t paying attention to you, but to the road as well, because she didn’t notice the spike strips across the road. Everyone yelped and held their breath when the van slid across the road and fell to the pit on its side… on your side. In the brief moment of despair, you regretted not being buckled up for the first few minutes of the trip. Your cheek smashed on the window that broke into shards, cutting up your skin. The worst part was that both Chloe and Matt fell on top of you as well. You squirmed under their weight but to no avail. “Shit, shit, shit, shit,” Emma screamed as she lost control of the vehicle and saw her boyfriend falling head forward on a sharp shard of glass, piercing his flesh. After a few minutes of shock, Emma got out of the car, seemingly okay, and helped Chloe and Matt. After that, they all hurried to help Chris. Nobody cared about you. You could feel the blood gushing out of your wounds on your arm and cheek. In the end, you managed to scramble the last bits of your strength and got out of the car without any help… Emma was in utter shock as she felt that her boyfriend didn’t show any signs of life. You didn’t know how to react, because you didn’t feel any pity. They didn’t help you and wouldn’t mind letting you die there on that backseat. You just shook your head and turned away, confused at what’s about to happen. “What’s wrong with you y/n! You look completely unphase by all this, explain yourself!” Emma screamed at you suddenly, letting out all of her anger on you. Before she could insult you any further you heard police sirens. “Thank god,” she calmed down a bit. Chloe was just shaking in Matt’s arms. The hope you all felt as the police car made its way towards you was slowly exchanged with fear. An older man with a sheriff’s uniform stepped out of the car with a shotgun. “So what do we have here… a bunch of lowly cowards it seems.” He spat on the ground and aimed the gun at you. “Get into the car, now!” he pointed at the police car, “The big guy in the back with two girls and this sexy babe in the passenger seat.” He aimed the shotgun at your head. “Wait, mister Hoyt, there’s my boyfriend still in the van!” Emma walked up to him trembling, apparently not grasping that this man isn’t here to help you. “My, my, do you think I care about your fucking boyfriend, bitch?” he turned down her request and took her by the wrist, “Maybe I will just take you next to me since you are so dumb, you need a lesson.” He tightened his grip on her wrist. “W-wait m-mister.” She stuttered, fear enveloping her. “T-take her instead… I swear we won’t tell anyone; you can do anything you want with her, even kill her, we will make something up, please just don’t hurt us.” She pointed her dirty finger at you and looked at Chloe and Matt, still in a tight embrace. “R-right guys? We won’t tell…” she desperately looked for a sign of approval from them. “Y-yes! We definitely won’t tell! I mean look, she’s way prettier for you sir!” Chloe added, throwing her pride behind her, Matt followed with a quick nod. “My, my what a friend you have,” Hoyt nearly died from laughter. He threw her aside on the hot ground. She slowly exhaled as she thought this was his way of saying yes. “I don’t like these types of bitches.” Without any hesitation, he shot Emma in the leg. She squealed and held her leg close to her, “You old bastard! We had a deal!” He only laughed a bit more before turning to the rest of you. “Now get in the car if you want to live. NOW!” he shouted and aimed the gun at Chloe and Matt who protectively stood in front of Chloe. “We have another hero here it seems.” Another shot followed, straight into Matt’s shoulder. He dropped to his knees in pain. “Who else?” he looked at you. After thinking for a few seconds, you dropped your eyes to the ground and went to the passenger’s seat of Hoyt’s police car. You decided to be smart about it. You didn’t dare to look back at him, all you heard were screams until everything was quiet again. Hoyt dragged your so-called friends’ bodies to the backseat. They were all breathing, just unconscious, their heads bloody. He probably hit them to make them easier to transport. He dragged Chris’s dead body out of the van as well, putting him into the trunk. After that, he sat in the driver’s seat next to you. “Come on, look at me. I don’ bite.” He licked his lips as you turned to face him. “Good girlie.” He said as he pressed some cloth over your nose and lips. You struggled for air, but then finally gave up and passed out as well.

You open your eyes to an unbearable headache which made you wish to never wake up at all. Where am I… shot through your mind as you tried to recall what led to your current situation. Right, your so-called friends tried to use you as their ticket out of this, as a bribe, as if you were a piece of meat. Your eyes were swollen and weak, so it was awfully hard to keep them open. You tried your best to inspect your situation a bit more. You couldn’t move your limbs, that’s for sure. So, you looked around again, adjusting your eyes to the dark atmosphere. It must’ve been a basement of some kind as there were no windows. You could see other metal tables except for the one you were tied to. There were various shiny metal tools around you consisting of cleavers, knives, and other stuff. Then you glanced above you to the ceiling. What you saw made you gag in disgust. Meat hooks, and on them two bodies hanging… Matt and Chloe. Then it hit you… out of confusion and tiredness, you didn’t pay attention to it before, but the whole basement smelled like death, rotting flesh, vomit, blood… everything mixed. Matt was missing half of his body and under him was a pool of blood, he was already dead. Chloe was missing one leg and one arm, seemingly still breathing, but not for long you thought for yourself. Sure, you were scared, because the same thing was going to happen to you, but you felt slight happiness in the back of your mind, no pity to be found. They abandoned you, they emotionally abused you, they used you for money, they would let you be raped and killed in exchange for their pathetic lives. They didn’t care about you. And now, despite their best efforts, you were here, alive, with all of your limbs, breathing while they were all almost dead. You couldn’t help to wonder why you were the last one to be butchered. You smiled for yourself “That’s what you get… even though I am going to be next, I still outlived you for long enough to laugh last.” And also, you didn’t know them before this trip except for Emma who wasn’t there right now. After these thoughts dispersed in your mind, you realized you could hear voices from above you. When you woke up, you were a bit groggy and didn’t pay attention to all of your senses right away. You recognized the female voice; without a doubt, it was Emma squealing in pain and disgust. “Let me go, let me go you ugly old bastard!” she screamed so loud it was piercing your ears. Instead of pitying her, it was more annoying to you, because you wanted the last minutes of your life to be as peaceful as possible. “Shut up, stupid bitch, or I will make you!” a familiar voice shouted back. Hoyt. Yeah, it must’ve been that guy, Sheriff Hoyt. Even though you assumed he wasn’t the real sheriff. You figured out what was happening upstairs. From the moment you met this Hoyt guy, you knew he was a pervert and a violent one. Even though he spared you in a way when he didn’t shoot you, well, you complied so he had no reason to. Then you realized that you checked your surroundings to the best of your ability while you didn’t even look at the state you were in. Your wrists and ankles hurt real bad. The leather cuffs were rubbing tightly against your sensitive red skin. Your cheek hurt as well as your arm. You weren’t sure if the glass shards were still in your arm or if someone took them out. You tried to position yourself in a way you could see the cut. It was deep and your skin was all bruised. Your whole body felt squished and sore, because of how Matt and Chloe fell on you during the accident. You were so tired… the screams above you got quieter and quieter each second as you fell into sleep again.

Loud footsteps in the basement woke you up and when you managed to lift your eyelids a huge man was towering over your lying body. He was wearing a bloody apron, shirt, and tie… very neat you thought for yourself. He smelled bad and there was a human-like mask on his face. He had greasy black hair that reached to his shoulders and partially hid his face. What captured your attention were his piercing blue eyes. He was scanning you, but you did the same as you stared deep into his eyes. He expected you to try to jump up, squirm, or make disgusted faces. He was used to it. All his life people called him names and bullied him, from his childhood to his teen years, and while he worked in the factory as an adult. He was always a monster, animal, disgusting freak in their eyes. Women made gagging noises when they saw him and then laughed in his face. Men picked on him, tried to fight him to get him in trouble. He suffered through it all until he finally unleashed all the pain and anger. Since then he saw people as either family or food, there was nothing in-between. You could see it in his eyes, the awaiting of your scream. But it never came, even after you noticed the cleaver in his hand. You had a neutral expression on your face while watching him. The pain was undeniable in his eyes. He wanted you to scream as it made it easier, so much easier… if you just called him a freak, if you tried to spit in his face… too easy. Finally, your lips parted, air leaving your mouth as you exhaled. He hated it, everything you did, he hated it because you made it hard. You had a beautiful face, perfect skin, attractive body, silky h/c hair, and shiny e/c eyes. You looked like one of the girls that would make fun of him and kick him again when he was already down. All the memories kept flooding into his mind as he raised the cleaver and prepared to swing. Now he expected you to squirm, shout and plead for your life, to at least cry or call him something nasty. But you peacefully smiled at him. “This is my end isn’t it?” you accepted your fate from the moment you woke up for the first time in this basement. You closed your eyes and prepared for the pain that would inevitably come with the blow. The man was confused like never in his life. Your sweet smile towards him melted his resolve. Here he was standing, all bloody with a cleaver ready to end your life and your perfect form was just lying under him in a dignified position without regrets. His eyes were full of sorrow. Nobody smiled at him before, laughed yes, mocked him too, but he never got that smile, smile without any prejudice in your then open eyes. There was no pain, just a wet feeling on your hurt cheek. For the first time, you yelped at the sudden touch and shot your eyes open again. There he was, standing over you, wiping the dry blood off your face with a wet rug. He stepped back, startled by your reaction. You could see how hurt he was… you couldn’t believe yourself. In this situation, with a murderer in a room with you, your instinct was telling you to pity him more than the couple hanging from the meat hooks. ”Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that; I just didn’t expect it… thank you.” You murmured under your breath. His eyes widened, first that innocent smile, now the honest tone in your voice as you apologized for being held captive. “My name is y/n. But I guess you don’t need to know that as you know…” your eyes pointed to the cleaver that was on the other table now. He didn’t say anything, but he shook his head. You didn’t know if that meant you would be spared or that he was content with knowing your name, you figured it was the latter though. After he calmed down, he stepped up again to clean your face and arm. You hissed a bit, but he knew it wasn’t at him, but at the pain. You didn’t know why he did all that when you are certainly going to be killed, if not by this man then by that Hoyt.

“What’s your name, if you don’t mind?” you broke the awkward silence. He shrugged, not replying. “You can’t speak?” you figure it wouldn’t hurt to ask and you wanted to know if he couldn’t or simply didn’t want to talk. You got a slight nod from him. “I see… But I can try and guess if you help me.” You came up with a solution. “I will say the alphabet and when I will get to the first letter of your name, you should touch the palm of my hand.” He seemed unsure but nodded again in the end. “A, B, C…” you continued until you got to T. He softly put a finger on your palm. “T…” you repeated, “That could be Tim, Tony, Thomas.” You wanted to continue, but he grabbed your finger when you said Thomas. “Thomas… Tommy.” You smiled at him. You didn’t know what got into you, but you were enjoying this sweet, tender moment. He was very gentle with you and didn’t kill you yet. Maybe it was because of how different your behavior was from everyone else.

He didn’t believe it. What was he doing, what were you doing, what were you doing to him? You were supposed to be another meal, just food, a piece of meat. But he couldn’t treat you like that when you were the first person outside of his family who treated him like a human being, without disgust and hate. Even Charlie and Monty sometimes treat him like a dog. He could sense that you were sincere. Some girls tried to seduce him before to save their lives and then stab him in the back. Once he fell for it, only for the first time though, he learned his lesson. But you didn’t try, you accepted that you were going to die here, and he couldn’t bring himself to end your life on his own.

“Damn what’s taking you so long down there, boy?” Hoyt opened the door to the basement and threw something on the stairs. “Don’ tell me you were able to finally man up?” Thomas seemed to be a bit lost, but you knew what he meant by that. “Anyhow, I am finished with it, it’s all yours now.” Hoyt pointed on the floor. You weren’t sure what he threw in the basement until now. It was Emma and she was still alive. Her mouth taped shut and hands tied behind her back. Hoyt descended into the basement and got rid of the tape on her lips. “You liked it bitch, didn’t ya?” he squeezed her cheeks and put a finger into her open mouth. She bit him as soon as she got the chance. A loud slap followed and he walked back up cussing her out. Hoyt was so focused on his finger, that he didn’t seem to care about why you were still alive. “Oh y/n! Help me, help me, please!” she trembled and smiled at you in disbelief. She obviously thought you were dead. Then she looked around to see her dead friends and screamed. Thomas grabbed her with his huge hands ready to hang her on the meat hook next to her friends. “You ugly fat bastard, let me go, stop it, you animal!” she kicked him wherever she could with both of her legs as they were tied together. You couldn’t hold back your laughter. However, your laughter stabbed Thomas in the back. So, you were the same after all. He thought about it and then realized it was for the better. But then you spoke “She looks like a fish out of the water, doesn’t she?” you giggled a bit more and then finally stopped. Thomas smiled under his mask before he realized what were the consequences. You indirectly stood up to him and it was funny and clever as well. “What… why would you laugh y/n? We are both going to die you dumb slut!” as the last word left her lips a shriek of pain echoed as Thomas stabbed the hook into her back. With the last strength, she spat in his face. “F-filthy animal, m-murderer, you and your damn fucking family can all burn in hell…” she mumbled. “I bet he would be a better friend than you.” Before she could come up with a comeback of any kind, he slit her skull with a cleaver. He grabbed a chainsaw and started dismembering her. You actively watched, fascinated by the situation. You weren’t a sadist, not at all, but it just all seemed like a weird nightmare to you. Maybe you passed out during the car crash and you are still dreaming. However, the smell of blood brought you back into reality. After Thomas was done, he turned back to you, freshly bloodied. He expected to see a disgusted face, tears, fear. He did it on purpose… to make you scream, to make you hate him like everyone else. “To be honest… she deserved it. Imagine, she tried to give me to Hoyt to save herself. She wouldn’t mind killing me.” You shrugged as you were very stiff from holding your head on the side.

No, no, no, no, no… it was all wrong. Thomas’ heart raced as he looked at you in disbelief, your e/c eyes piercing his soul. You saw him kill your friend, well at the very least your companion and then you also witnessed al the gory stuff that came with it, but you looked unphased, maybe a bit satisfied with his work... you didn’t scream, didn’t curse, didn’t hate him. He grabbed the cleaver and held it above you, then swung and…

#thomas hewitt #thomas hewitt x reader #thomas hewitt x oc #thomas hewitt/you #texas chainsaw massacre #slasher x reader #the texas chainsaw massacre #smut #fluff #slashers #slashers x you #leatherface #thomas brown hewitt #x reader #fanfic #i made an attempt #story #roadtrip

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gundamcalibarney · 3 years

Text

Green Arrow having conversations (ft. a few other engines)

that’s it, that’s the whole thing.

reblogs are appreciated!

(story below the readmore)

1963

“So Spencer,” Green Arrow started, the record breaking A4 gave him a look. “how is he?”

the A4 scoffed, “still as pompous as ever, he doesn’t shut up about being the Duke and Duchess’s private engine, he told me about how Sodor’s stuck in it’s old ways, but i think he means that in ‘there aren’t any A4s!’ kind of way.”

Green Arrow , “is that so. well i do hope to visit the island one day, i heard that it’s really nice there!”

“oh yes, i’ve heard Scot talk about it, though it’s mostly relating to Cousin Gordon.” Mallard huffed. “i heard that a lot of weird shit goes on there.”

“like what?”

“ghost sightings, accidents caused by non-locomotive rolling stock, somehow they got liveries from every colour of rainbow…” Mallard listed off. “just a lot of stuff.”

“well that sounds lovely!” Green Arrow exclaimed cheerfully.

if he had a drink Mallard would spit it out in shock, “What? you call a crash caused by trucks Lovely?”

“it definitely sounds more exciting there than here if i’m going to be frank.” Green Arrow chuckled. “and how’s being the record breaker hm?”

“Cousin Gordon’s dome’s going to fly off trying to beat 126 miles.” Mallard joked.

“you mean that metaphorically yes?”

Mallard then remembered the City of Truro telling him something along those lines,

“when i went to Sodor i was told by the press that the NRW’s number 4’s top blew off while he was attempting to run 100 miles per hour, i can’t really hold anything against him though since i get where he’s coming from, i think i would’ve done the same!”

“…uh huh.”

1990

the No. 1 Sudrian tank engine approached the green V2, “you’re a cousin of Gordon right?”

“oh yes indeed i am!” Green Arrow smiled. “how is that big sausage anyway?”

Thomas’ face flushed angrily, “Jealous of me that’s what!”

Green Arrow raised a brow, “really?”

“probably because I’M here and not him, surrounded by Famous engines and all.” Thomas groaned.

“he’d probably boast about being with Famous and Well known engines like you and practically everyone else here!” Thomas ranted.

the V2 chuckled, “it would be more of a begrudging family reunion than anything, especially on Spencer and Gordon’s part.”

“so what were you like before all this preservation and dieselation stuff?” Thomas asked to get his mind off of Gordon.

Green Arrow let out a laugh, though it didn’t feel like a very humorous one, or a very happy one,

“my siblings and i were built to run fast good trains,” he said. “but we did it So well that they let us pull expresses in the end.”

“now i’m the only of my sort left.” he ended off with a sigh, his face now showing a combination of pain and nostalgia.

2010

“So how’s permanent retirement doing for you so far.” Mallard asked his cousin.

“not going too bad so far.” Green Arrow answered in a chipper tone.

“no hard feelings about being a static display?” Mallard questioned.

“not really, why do you ask?”

“Arrow you’re basically stuck, in One place, for the rest of your life.” Mallard emphasised slowly. “then again considering you it can certainly be no worse than what happened with Jackson.”

“how is he as of now?” Green Arrow asked, concern laced in his voice.

“in a dour mood, as in a Really dour mood, can’t really blame him though.” Mallard informed.

Green Arrow’s face fell, “ah, well tell him i send my regards.”

“yeah i will.” Mallard responded.

2012

“it’s nice to see some of the other Gresleys here.” smiled Green Arrow.

“and the baby.” Riley noted, her tone sharp and rather hard, The Great Marquess snickering and Mallard rolling his eyes.

Green Arrow noticed Tornado’s cheeks flushing red and their eyes darting away, “Well i agree that they’re a young one, but i think they’re a nice engine, sure they’re not a Gresley but who says you need to be one to be a good engine?”

Riley scoffed at Green Arrow’s words, Tornado was shocked indeed, the V2 gave the new build a wink and smile.

“besides there are a lot of not-Gresleys here Riley.” Green Arrow added.

“also Riley, just shut up.” Mallard deadpanned, Green Arrow frowned at the addition.

“Mallard!” Arrow called out in a scolding tone, the blue A4 rolling his eyes while the new build giggled.

2021

“how are you taking the move so far?” no. 251 asked.

“it’s a bit cramped but i can manage, i can’t believe they got ol’ Cock o’ the North’s nameplate, and it Is nice to be back in Doncaster.” Green Arrow replied with a smile.

“say i’ve heard the people who made Tornado are making a new P2 engine.” no. 251 mentioned.

“oh yes i’ve known, Tornado told me about the new build P2 a couple years back, Prince of Wales i’ve heard.” Green Arrow noted.

“Which means i’m getting a step-cousin, and then after that they’ll make a Thompson B1!”

“so basically the big three LNERs?” no. 251 asked. “like, Gresley,Thompson, and Peppercorn?”

“Most likely!” Green Arrow smiled.

a brief pause between the two green engines.

“say we’re going to be here for the next 3 years right?” no. 251 then asked.

“Indeed, which means we’ll be stuck with each other for a while.” remarked Green Arrow.

Well this’ll be a nice 3 years.

#moth’s writing #ttte #thomas the tank engine #ttte green arrow #this fic is basically me trying to do smth with G.A #mostly because he felt kinda bland to a degree???#so this is me trying to do smth with it #canon is somewhat modified #very dialogue heavy #ttte fic

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deja-you · 4 years

Text

times new roman | headcanons

t. jefferson x reader

profiles | part one

A/N: This isn’t another chapter, sorryyyyy. i promise i’m working on it, but then this popped into my head and here we are. so this is all stuff that Thomas and y/n would do as a couple. we’re not quite there yet in the timeline of TNR, but we’ll get there. maybe.

+ Thomas and Y/n love having movie nights.

+ Thomas always wants to watch old classics: Casablanca, Singin’ in the Rain, Citizen Kane, you name it. He likes old movies, old cars, old music. Y/n teases Thomas for having such dated taste.

+ “Okay boomer.”

+ “For the last time, Y/n, I’m not a boomer. I’m only five years older than you.”

+ Y/n does most of the cooking. Not because she’s a woman and the kitchen is ‘her place’ or anything like that. One time Thomas made a ‘gourmet’ meal of macaroni and cheese. With a twist. The twist was adding alcohol.

+ “Adding alcohol makes everything better.”

+ No, it doesn’t. Y/n doesn’t let Thomas anywhere near the kitchen since the Mac ‘N Cheese Fiasco of 2020.

+ Y/n only buys superhero or Disney princess band-aids. She’s very proud of them.

+ Thomas finds this out when he gets a paper cut while reading at Y/n’s apartment. She thinks he’s being dramatic, but he insists paper cuts are the worst. Regardless, Y/n comes back with two boxes of band-aids.

+ “You want Ant-Man or Cinderella?”

+ “Those are your band-aids? Why am I dating a child?”

+ “If you’re going to make fun of my band-aids, I’ll let you bleed out.”

+ Madison and Hamilton both tease Thomas for his Cinderella band-aid at work the next day, but he wears it as a badge of pride now.

+ Washington gives Thomas the whole “if you break my daughter’s heart” speech, but secretly he loves Y/n and Thomas as a couple.

+ One day at work, Washington overhears Thomas make a “that’s what she said” joke.

+ “That’s what who said? I know you did not just make a sex joke about my daughter, Jefferson.”

+ Thomas melts where he’s sitting and wants to die. Alexander wishes he had brought a camera to film it all. Y/n hears all about this when Thomas gets home and can’t stop laughing.

+ When they’re out in public, Thomas always likes to have his hands on Y/n. They’ll walk hand in hand. Thomas will wrap his arm around her waist, or while Y/n is talking to one of her friends, he’ll sling his arm around her shoulders and rest his chin on her shoulder.

+ Although Y/n thinks it’s too much, Thomas will often buy her expensive gifts. She’ll come home to find a bag on her kitchen counter with the pair of heels she was eyeing in the store the other day or a statement necklace that reminded Thomas of her.

+ His eyes light up (and Y/n could swear he drools a little) when he sees her wearing the items he bought for her.

+ Y/n likes to wear Thomas’s old college sweatshirts from William & Mary. He’ll complain about her stealing his clothes but they both know he loves seeing her in them. Unless she’s only wearing his sweatshirt. Then he’d be happy to see her without it.

+ “Y/n Washington. Take that off.”

+ “How about you come over here and take it off for me?”

+ He does.

+ Yes, he decided. She looks much better without the sweatshirt. Y/n looks her best when her hair is all messed up and she’s sleeping soundly next to him in his bed.

+ Thomas makes Y/n coffee in the morning. He memorized just how many creams and how much sugar she likes the first time she told him.

+ Y/n likes to watch Thomas play his violin in his magenta bath robe on Saturday evenings. It’s the highlight of her week.

+ Y/n thinks Thomas’s apartment is lacking something and decides he needs a pet.

+ “I don’t need a pet. I don’t want a pet. They take too much work to take care of.”

+ “What about a fish?”

+ “I’m not getting a fish, Y/n.”

+ He gets a fish.

+ Thomas names the fish Monticello but he just calls him Monty. Monty is Thomas’s pride and joy, he carries pictures of his fish in his wallet and shows him off to his coworkers every chance he gets.

+ “No one cares about your fish, Jefferson.”

+ “Fuck you, Hamilton. Henry Knox asked how Monty was doing, for your information.”

+ After a week, Thomas decides Monty needs a bigger tank. And some plants. And a little sunken ship to play in.

+ Y/n finds Thomas cleaning out Monty’s fish tank when they were supposed to be going on a date.

+ “Are you really choosing a fish over me? I can’t believe it.”

+ She can believe it. She’s really not that surprised.

+ “He needs me, Y/n!”

+ “And I need food. Come on, let’s go get something to eat. I’m thinking sushi, thoughts?”

+ “How dare you.”

+ Thomas takes Y/n out to Broadway shows. He has wealthy and famous clients, so he ends up taking Y/n backstage on multiple occasions to meet the casts of the productions.

+ Y/n completely fangirls over every actor she meets and Thomas apologizes on her behalf. But he doesn’t complain when she asks him to take a picture of her and the actor.

+ She belts out the songs from the show all the way home, and Thomas can’t help but watch her with a smile.

+ Y/n swings by the office on Wednesdays and they go out to lunch together.

+ “Do you think I can order off the kid’s menu?”

+ “I can’t take you anywhere, can I, Y/n?”

+ But he takes her everywhere with him. Charity galas, business trips to Seattle, home to Virginia to meet his family.

+ Thomas’s family loves Y/n immediately, and his sister’s seem to like Y/n more than they like Thomas. His sister’s take Y/n out for a girls night. They talk about all his annoying habits and stories from their childhood.

+ At night, they’ll spend an hour in bed reading before they actually go to bed. Y/n wears reading glasses, and Thomas doesn’t know if she really needs them or if she just wears them because she knows he thinks she looks hot in them.

+ When the lights turn off, Thomas will pull Y/n to his chest and let the sound of her breathing rock him to sleep.

+ When Y/n thinks Thomas is asleep, she’ll whisper “I love you” into the cotton of his shirt.

+ He hears her.

Tags: @dovesgrangers @lovelymrvl @wiffle-snuffles @thisistrashperson @comingupwithacoolnameishard @wordvomit-foryourmind @newtonslawoffuck @isharemydeathdaywithfeanor @i-know-i-can @imperial-martian @fangirling-central @dannighost @ateliefloresdaprimavera @justahappylilblog @fanfic-addict-98 @a-hopeless-fan @and-claudia @nicolemelton @youtxbemusic @reidcult @eirenism @fantasy-of-fiction @iamsuperconfusedallthetime-dead @a-midwinter-night-dream-86 @rycbar-221b @bethanymccauley @fanworrior @gggamingz @nemesis729 @ibeaesthethicc @yodas-padawan @sabbrriiinnaa @micaiahmoonheart @beautifulfound @moondustmemories @ct-salad @teenwaywardasgardian @bj-is-a-graduateof-julliard @ruebx @katierpblogg @speedypartyducksuitcase @fangirling-central @idkkbaleighh @ballerinafairyprincess @spn-pogues @gryffin-claw @elegantbutedgy @1elysium @sierraisnotreal @ssanjuniperoo @collectivefandom @lilbabyhoneypot @lunariasilver @justcallmemama

#hamilton x reader #hamilton #hamilton imagine #hamilton fanfiction #lafayette x reader #lafayette imagine #daveed diggs #marquis de lafayette #daveed diggs x reader #thomas jefferson x reader #TNR #times new roman

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eepytheartist · 3 years

Text

TTTE: Magic Beyond the Engine

Greetings guys, gals, nonbinary pals and everyone in between. Welcome to the Information Page of TTTE: Magic Beyond the Engine, where you can get context to whatever the hell I post on here. There’s a lot and much is subject to change, so buckle up butter cups because we’re going for a ride.

Table o’ Contents

1. Basic Story

2. Characters

3. Personal Headcanons

4. Canonical Relationships within TTTE: MBtE

5. Other Notes

6. Link

I) Basic Story

Several years ago in the year 20XX, a facility located in [REDACTED] was doing experiments involving a mysterious golden substance and what it could do for the human race. Its goal was to eliminate the need for high-maintenance engines to save money. However, much of what was done ended up being a total flop, except for one. A little girl, Madison [REDACTED] was the only successful trial the facility was able to produce. This girl didn’t know why or how she even got here, but knew that her family didn’t want her, and instead gave her up to this [probably very illegal] facility. For years the scientists running the experiment pushed her to her limits, training her to pull lines of cars weighing several tons. They were delighted by what she could do. They had finally compacted the strength and speed of an engine into a human. However, bad luck struck as the facility went belly up, when Madison was 21. News of the facility spread, and so did news about her. Humanity didn’t take her well, and she was labeled an outcast. Though, in the light of things with her negative fame, Sir Topham Hatt found out about her and thought she’d be a wonderful addition to the railway along with the new tank engine he just bought! So she was picked up by this cheeky little shit, and her story working alongside sentient engines unfolded.

II) Characters

A) Thomas

The one who picked up Maddy. He was awfully confused by her, but respected her nonetheless. Still his cheeky self that everyone seems to just adore, Thomas quickly became best friends with her, protecting her whenever she needed it. Thomas sometimes gets a little too cheeky, and pushes her off the edge. Pranks ensue and Thomas is usually left bumbling for apologies. Who knew something so small could be so dangerous. He also commonly gets called ‘Tommy’ by the wee lass, something he absolutely despises. It only fuels her need to use it.

1) When human, Thomas stands at about 5′ 7″ or 170 centimeters. He’s clad in a simple hoodie that matches his paintwork with a big 1 on the back, and plain khakis. He wishes he could have something else, but he doesn’t get paid and his driver and fireman refuse to lend him money. His hair is fluffy and rather short and is a few shades darker than his paintwork. Maddy likes to braid it when she’s bored and he hates it. Her favorite part though, besides honking his bulbous nose like he was a clown like she does with James, is his eyes. They were a beautiful shade of ocean blue. If he wasn’t such a shit, she’d get lost. He can’t brag though, she basks in all the colors her friends have.

“Why does she get to swear and I don’t? It’s not fair!” ~T

“Maddy’s an adult, Thomas.” ~E

“Well so am I you old fart!” ~T

B) Maddy

Little Maddy. Don’t call her Madison, she hates it with a passion and refuses to explain why. She currently stands at the age of 21, but looks much younger. She had overheard at the facility that a side effect of the mystery stuff was that she aged like an engine, so she could be around for hundreds of years if she wasn’t stupid. At just 5′ 3′’ or 160 centimeters, Maddy is the shortest out of all the engines on the railway, even Bill and Ben. Her hair is a medium shade of brown, kind of long, and it mostly covers one of her eyes, which are, as Thomas describes, “As if the sky could make steel.”. Shy when you first meet her, Maddy is quick to come out of her shell and be just as much of a shithead as Thomas and as angry as James, if not worse than the two combined. Her outfit was rather simple, a dark scarlet hoodie with her number on it, and dark grey or black leggings. She liked it that way, she looked good and it was flexible and comfy. When she first arrived with Thomas, she felt something click with James, despite him being an utter jackass to her. After begrudgingly showing her around and having to shunt trucks, the duo became good acquaintances. It wasn’t until after James’ accident that the two became best friends, being asshats together and generally being a happy sight. He’s the one Maddy is generally seen with if she’s not working on her own. Soon enough, though, something started brewing within her heart.

“Ah crumbs, he’s in a mood.” ~T

“James is always in a mood.” ~M

“Fuck both of you.” ~J

C) Edward

Ah, Old Iron. He was there when Thomas and Maddy first arrived to the island. Like most that laid eyes on her, his main worry is that she was itty bitty. Usually calm and collected unless something goes majorly wrong, Edward was quick to unknowingly swoop her under his wings. When Thomas started poking fun at him for being fatherly, Edward nearly keeled over. An engine can’t father a human, can they? He guessed they could as soon after Maddy just gave a shrug and accepted the Number 2 as her father, after being given away by her own. It didn’t take long for Edward to actually father her, asking how her day was, sometimes folding her laundry, comforting her, scolding Maddy James, y’know, dad stuff. He earned the name ‘Dadward’ from her, and his heart melts every time she says it.

1) As a human, Edward looks like a kindly old man and a youngin’ at the same time. He stands just a bit shorter than James at 6′ or 183 centimeters. With short, almost midnight-blue hair, Edward is the perfect gentleman. He even has a small pair of gold glasses that set snuggly on his nose. His eyes are a lovely shade of steel blue, something he gets flustered about when Maddy compliments him. His outfit consists of a white dress shirt with a dark blue tie, a blazer matching his paintwork with his number on his right arm and dark grey dress pants. He’s not usually in his human form, but when he is, Maddy unusually asks for a lot of hugs..

“Will you two leave her be?” -E

“But look how red her face is!” P&T

“FUCK THE LOT OF YOU-” ~M

D) James

Ah, James. One half of what his friends call “The Red Disasters”. He’s still his normal, vain ass self. He has a soft side, everyone knows it but virtually no one can get to it. Except Maddy, who can get to it quite easily. Though, when they first met, all he did was make fun of her. Well, they made fun of each other, but still. They had the complete opposite of favorite jobs, they still do and always will. James loves pulling coaches, she hates it. She loves trucks, he despises it and always tries to weasel his way out. It usually doesn’t work. He’s earned many nicknames from her: Jamsey, Jimbo, Buzzy, Buzzy Butt, the list grows. Two of them came from the mistake about telling her the story about the bees, the other.he’s not too sure. What he is sure of, though, is that Jimbo has spread than to more than just her and he hates it. It fuels her though, so he’s gotta be careful. Originally, though, James didn’t know what to think of her. After the accident, his boiler felt all fluttery and he pushed it down to just being ill. He had to learn the hard way about what romantic love was. He knew how to flirt, it got people to love him more! But what that flirting did, though, he was completely foreign to.

1) At 6′2′’ or 188 centimeters, James stands as the third tallest among the main eight. When he still had his black livery, James’ human form basically had him looking like what I can simply describe as a butler, though he had a vest and a red tie instead of all black. After, though, he had quite the change. His long, black hair now had dyed red tips and his right ear had a cute little heart piercing. Hair covers most of his left eye, which is what Maddy lovingly described as, “You managed to make the color of red rust beautiful.”. He thinks his hair looks cool only according to Maddy. He usually wears a long-sleeve, dark red button-up shirt with three dark grey stripes on both arms and grey pads on his shoulders. His number was sewn onto his left breast. Maddy pokes fun at him for looking like a band geek, but she nonetheless likes it. His outfit is simply finished off with grey pants. Sometimes, though, he’s seen wearing a solid red hoodie that Maddy got him. He won’t admit that it’s his favorite piece of clothing.

“Honey Bee, you’re acting irrational-” ~J

“DON’T MAKE ME GET THE BEES-” ~M

“NOT THE BEES-” ~J

E) Gordon

There isn’t much to say about Gordon. He’s his usual, grumpy self. We all know deep down he’s a good engine, though. Gordon’s...rather indifferent about Maddy. He doesn’t dislike her, but he doesn’t see her appeal either. Nonetheless, she’s an awesome part of the team. She does the most important job: listening to James bitch so they don’t have to. Of course, though, like the rest of the team, he’ll defend her if need be. Gordon has a heart, he just doesn’t like to show it.

1) Gordon’s the tallest, at 6′8′’ or 203 centimeters. Everything about his human form is perfect. His hair is just a tad darker than Edward’s and a teeny bit shorter. He keeps it slicked back most of the time, but it’s hilarious when he has bed head. Maddy got a picture once and sent it to James just in case he forced her to delete it. Just like most of her friends, Gordon’s eyes were her favorite, they were a blue similar to his hair, but a few shades lighter. Maddy remembers a time she complimented them and Gordon puffed away all red in the face. His outfit consists of a three piece suit, in his paintwork color of course, a white shirt and a red tie. His number is on his right breast.

“The Express isn’t that important.” ~M

“Why I’ll tell you-” ~G

“Is her intent just to piss him off?” ~E

“Yes. It’s both of ours.” ~J

E) Henry

Maddy’s favorite engine besides James. Thomas is insulted that he isn’t even considered one of her favorites. Henry gushed over her the first time she came. He must protect the small. Love the small. If James suddenly didn’t exist, Henry would be her go-to. She adored puffing through the forest with him, looking at all the trees and wildlife. Maddy would take pictures of flowers she’d find while strolling through and Henry would just ooze over them. Once she showed him a photo of a squirrel holding a wild flower under an oak tree whose leaves were just started to turn different colors, and the big engine cried with joy. He requested she print the picture out so his driver could carry it for him, and she did. It was his absolute favorite.

1) 6′6″ or 198 centimeters, what a height to be. At second tallest, Henry is the definition of a gentle giant. His resting face looks nervous, but he’s usually not nervous at all. His hair is a forest green, not too short, not too long. Actually, Maddy’s favorite part of him is his chicken-wing bangs. Of course she loves his eyes, which are a lovely jade green, but the bangs take the cake, Whenever they hang out, she likes to play with them when he talks about plants. He finds it comforting. His outfit is literally just a more modest and fancier workman’s outfit, but matching his livery, with his number on his right breast. It made sense, since he was usually one to do heavy work.

“You don’t like the rain either?” ~H

“The last time I went out in the rain I derailed Percy.” ~M

“Why were you even out in the rain!? You’d catch a cold!” ~E

“Fat Man said I was the only one available and told me to suck it up. I did catch a cold. James tried making me soup, remember?” ~M

“What do you mean tried..?” ~H

“He forgot to cook the chicken beforehand. I got salmonella.” ~M

“So that’s why you were bedridden and wouldn’t talk to him for a week after..” ~H

G) Percy

Ah, little shit number two. Thomas’ partner in crime. When he first met Maddy when he arrived, he teased her relentlessly for being short-tempered and short in general. After giving him the silent treatment though, Percy was a bit nicer. He and Thomas still tease her plenty enough, but they tease about things she usually won’t kick their asses for. He likes Maddy now. Plain and simple.

1) Second shortest, 5′5″ or 165 centimeters. He holds those two inches with pride. Percy uses them against Maddy very frequently. Maddy won’t hurt him though. She physically can’t. His little baby face, those big ol’ light green eyes, that short light green hair, his cute little outfit [which consists of a shamrock colored shirt, black suspenders held up by gold buttons, and dark green shorts]. If he was any smaller Maddy would die. James sometimes gets jealous by how much she gushes over Percy, but doesn’t exactly blame her. Percy’s adorable and he damn well knows it.

“Ha, you’re short.” ~P

“You’re short too.” ~M

“I’m taller than you.” ~P

“Won’t be for long when I take your kneecaps.” ~M

H) Emily

Ah, Emily. The first girl engine she met. They made damn good friends, too. They gossiped whenever they had a chance. Maddy usually talked about shit James has said, and Emily just gossips about anything and everything. They were will to throw hands for each other, with Emily more willing to for Maddy. Maddy would throw hands just as an excuse to do it. Emily still loves her, though.

1) Emily currently stands at 5′8″ or 173 centimeters. She isn’t as girly as she looks, either. Her hair is short, with half of it buzzed off. Maddy would describe her as someone punk-ish. Of course Emily’s personality doesn’t reflect that at all, she just chose to look like it. She’s the only other engine besides James to have piercings, usually with two black on on the top of her ears and hoop earrings to pay honor to her engine build. Emily was a little more casual than her friends, usually seen wearing a simple green dress matching her livery. Her eyes were a very dark grey, almost black, with flecks of brass scattered in there. Maddy told her once that she was the prettiest girl she’s every seen and Emily nearly crashed.

“James being a bitch again?” ~Em

“What do you mean again?” ~M

“I can hear you.” ~J

“I know.” ~M

I) Others

Other characters consist of secondary characters within the story who do not play as big a role. There are a few who teeter on the edge between primary and secondary characters, such as Duck, Donald, Douglas, Diesel, Diesel 10, and Lady. They play an important role, but not enough so to have their own descriptions. Diesel’s..y’know, Diesel, the twins think of Maddy as their long-lost sister, Duck..well, they like to poke fun at James together when he’s not droning about the Great Western Railway, Diesel 10′s goal is to get her to say something about Lady, and Lady...no one’s really sure yet. Then, as of right now for true secondary characters there is Oliver, Toad, BoCo, Bill, Ben, Mavis, and Salty. There’s more to come, but that’s what I got right now.

III) Personal Headcanons

-The engines can eat and taste in both forms. They don’t know where it goes when they’re engines and don’t feel like finding out.

-James learned to cook for Maddy when she couldn’t for herself.

-For the longest time, James was the only engine with his own phone.

-He learned hip language and Maddy started regretting every choice in her life.

-Maddy comes to Salty for him to tell her stories when she’s bored.

-Rain is Maddy’s one weakness since she has no way of covering herself.

-She, along with her friends as humans, run with skates that reflect their wheel configuration. The wheels retract when not in use. [I’m thinking about switching to roller blades, we’ll see.]

-Maddy intentionally starts beef with the Scottish Twins because she thinks the fighting is hilarious.

-Thomas will occasionally beg Maddy for a cotton candy sucker. Specifically cotton candy. She doesn’t know why either.

-Thomas initiated a prank war with her once. He lost.

-Gordon once bet her that she couldn’t pull his heavy goods. His driver was out 30 bucks because of him.

-Maddy tortures Duck with duck puns.

-Maddy still trick-or-treats for free candy.

-Emily once convinced Maddy to derail James for the fun of it. She was subsequently chased around the island.

-James is the ultimate flirt and he uses that against Maddy, who flusters very easily.

-Percy loves Teddy Grahams.

-Edward likes loves to tell others about his daughter. Maddy does not. He is becoming too dad-like.

-The Scottish Twins know damn well that Maddy simps for their accents and they intentionally use it against her if they can.

-Maddy knows about Diesel’s ducklings. It’s the only reason she decides to befriend him.

-James utterly hates Diesel for many many reasons.

-Like many others headcanon, Thomas can’t cook. He fucked up a cup of ramen once and Maddy still refuses to let him live it down.

-Edward refuses to let Thomas and Percy swear. They hate it. James and Maddy know this. They swear more because they can’t.

-James and Maddy are at a tie for worst potty mouths. The twins don’t count. That’s not fair.

-Oliver thought Maddy was an engine for like a month before he met her.

-Maddy dislikes the Mainland. Not the engines there. They’re cool.

-If Maddy isn’t around, James sleeps in her bed with her hoodie.

-Henry worries for Maddy all the time. More and Edward and James combined. He just doesn’t show it.

-Gordon says he has no opinion on Maddy, but he really does like her.

-No one knows where Maddy’s really from. She won’t tell them either. Not even James or the Fat Man really know.

-Want more? Just ask!

IV) Canon Couples within TTTE: MBtE

~James/Maddy

~Edward/Henry

~Emily/Thomas

~D10/Lady (In the past)

~~We’ll see about others as the story progresses~~

V) Notes

- Lady is the reason the engines have sentience. She is not the reason for their human forms. That will be explained later.

-Maddy is much more resilient than an average human, which is why most accidents don’t just straight up kill her.

-As stated before, Maddy can now live for hundreds of years if she’s careful enough. She won’t age as fast as a normal human, so who knows how long she’ll be baby-faced. Not that she cares, more opportunity to trick-or-treat.

-The engines can get frisky, but no babies. Don’t even think about it.

-Maddy will eventually give in and buy beds for all her friends to give them an opportunity to sleep like she does.

VI) Link

Silly me, I forgot to give a link to my story! Shame on me for making you search, that won’t happen again, here you go!

Sodor’s New Worker

________________________________________________________________

And that’s really it. If you have any questions, please please please please please ask!

UPDATED: August 3, 2021

#sodor's new worker #TTTE: MBtE #ttte james #ttte maddy #ttte thomas #ttte edward #ttte emily #ttte percy #ttte henry #ttte gordon #ttte oc

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angelicichor · 4 years

Note

Wait. Requests are open? Fuck yes. Then I request Thomas bending me over stuff and fucking me into next year! Art or words man it don't matter. Its gonna be fantastic either way .My U R G E S are out of this world right now.

U… I like you. I might actually do some more….. F I L T H Y art of Tommy-boy, but I ain’t home now so that’ll have to wait. For now however…

N//SF//W

Thomas being a bit too eager… but in a good way.Female reader for this one… sorry folks.

Enough

Summer has been a bad season in Texas, for obvious reasons - heat, dryness and dust, oh god the dust, it was everywhere, sticking to everybody’s sweat covered bodies, making it unbearable to go shirtless, but also impossible to go with anything more prude on.

In a way you had a hate-love relationship with this season, you’ve always lived in colder places, so the warmth of the sun was murdering you and seeing Charlie with his big ol’ belly pouch and old man tits out, covered in white, untamed chest hair was an ENORMOUS problem, but at the same time tis’ was the season for drinking refrigerated sodas and eating copious amounts of ice cream that Luda Mae made herself and gosh darn it was delicious.

But the most amazing stuff wasn’t any drink or a snack, no, it was the full-blown dinner date that was Thomas, abandoning his usual shirt and tie to don a simple black tank top, that clung to his chest almost perversely, showing off his robust bicep, beautifully shaped triceps, as well some of the powerful muscle of his back, his tan skin glistening with sweat as he bent over a car’s hood, opening it to check what in tarnation was wrong with Hoyt’s sheriff car, the old man being too damn lazy to do it himself, god bless him for that.

With the apron gone you also had a wonderful view of Tommy’s firm legs and thick ass, stretching the material every time he’d bend over to reach inside the machine. It looked so damn squeezable, but you knew better than to interrupt the man at work, knowing that Luda would be over you in a second, scolding you for not working yourself. You loved her, but how could she NOT understand that her son was a god damned gem and you NEEDED to take a closer look at him.

He seemed oblivious to your hungry gaze coming from the porch, unaware how his form made your heart flutter and your gut heat up thinking of all the wonderful things that behemoth could do to you and that fact made you FURIOUS. It’s not like you didn’t try to initiate things either, just every time you tried anything Charlie would bring in some new meat or Luda would need her son to go to the station with her to help unpack some deliveries or Monty needed to be carried off the sun, too tired from the heat to move on his own.

Little to say, you were frustrated, but a chance to take revenge on this beautiful, dark haired bastard was coming and oh so very soon.

The thought brought a devilish grin onto your face, an expression that made Charlie go “You alright, girlie?” above you and you snapped to attention. “Ya lookin’ at my nephew like he the next one in line for dinner.” He laughed and you puffed at him, standing up with a slight blush, dusting off your jeans.“Sorry, sir, just thought of something funny.” you lied and he cocked an eyebrow, not really believing you.“U-huh, sure, darlin’. Ya ready to go into town? Got the money?” he asked and you smiled warmly, lifting your purse up and shaking it slightly. “Good, let’s go.”

With that you almost jumped towards the old pick-up that waited right next to Hoyt’s sheriff car. Not able to resist the urge you took a swing and slapped Tommy’s perked butt, making him rise in shock and hit his head on the metal above him. You laughed, before getting into the truck and closing the door, so he wouldn’t pull you out. He most likely still could, but instead he rolled his eyes, massaging his head and shaking it shortly in disbelief before going back to work.

Once in the town you quickly parted with Hoyt, running to find a decent, still functioning clothes store, a woman on a mission.

Your plan wasn’t enacted until the next morning, however. For once you’ve been happy that Thomas always woke up way before you, leaving you to your own devices. That was his biggest mistake yet.

The day was pleasant, even with the sun shinning down on all of you mercilessly, there was a nice breeze going through, something you all hoped would be there to stay. You were very helpful right from the morning, shining with enthusiasm when told to hang the laundry, feed the chickens in the coop Charlie and Thomas installed some time ago, and then come back to help Luda Mae make some cookies.

And you probably though you were cute, wearing that baby blue summer dress that was just a bit too short to be innocent, with a bow in front, slightly to the side, as well as those stockings that hugged your tight just right, making it look so squeezable, with those flat sandals that made you look just so much shorter and more adorable.

And you’d also think you were being sly, brushing your hand across Tommy’s forearm while passing him on the way to the coop in a rush, as if the chickens were going to escape, or when you heard his boots stop in from of the kitchen entrance and ‘dropped a fork on accident’, bending down with only your back, giving him a peek at your white, frilly underwear, and acting like you totally didn’t mean to lick that batter of the spoon in such a seductive way.

But he knew what you were doing, realized it the moment he has seen your outfit and those hungry eyes you gave him unconsciously, but Thomas was a patient man. He let you play your game, refusing to give in to your advances, so you’d be forced to come to him and ask properly for him to take you, enduring the constant sting of arousal building in his body when he would notice you, going around, completing your tasks, acting like you don’t notice him. He was doing a fine job, too.

That is, until you up and tripped, falling to your knees right before him and looking up at his masked face with those huge, bashful eyes, a blush creeping it’s way onto your cheek.

And Thomas could swear he heard something in his head snap.

You tried to get up, but before you could rise one leg you’ve been swooped up by your neck to met his eyes. There was an anger to them, but it wasn’t what made you shiver, it was the true, unfiltered, primal lust that resonated from them, as well as the sweet smell of hormones and frustration making your head spin and leg pull up slightly, as your hands helped the rest of your body not suffer from the Butcher’s hold.

The next time you blinked, your whole body has been shoved onto the kitchen table, Thomas’ free hand throwing multiple objects onto the floor, creating a lot of noise that made your anxiety spike, but he couldn’t care less, leaning into you, one hand still keeping you in a choke-hold, the other gripping onto your tight, giving it a good, firm squeeze. His forehead pressed onto your lightly, his eyes focused on yours, a small smirk rising on his lips, followed by a hungry lick, delight hitting him hard when you shivered just at his hot breath hitting you.

With a rushed motion he pushed one of your legs away, the other giving way for his muscular tight, pressing onto your heat, you hips bucking against it in reflex, wanting to feel the man’s warmth.

His free hand shifted from your tight to your chest, rising with your heated breaths, stopping at your right tit and massaging it roughly, pinching your nipple the moment it started hardening, a quiet laugh moving his body when you squeaked at the sensation, your hands moving form his forearm to your mouth, pink painting your cheeks. With that the hand holding you down moved, trailing your body down, until it reached your heat, then pressing against it and rubbing it up and down slowly through your already soaked panties, his index finger pressing them in to reach deeper inside you.

Your hands stifled your whimpers and moans as he teased your chest and entrance, seemingly not phased by the fact that anyone could walk in on you two at any second, that Luda Mae was supposed to come back to resume making the baked treats, but you were slowly forgetting about all that too, too focused on how good his hand felt on your covered cunt, how his eyes pierced yours, so close, warning you not to move a muscle if you wanted him to be nice and you feared what would happen if you disobeyed.

Soon enough one of his fingers slid your panties to the side, making you feel vulgar, even more that you already did, exposed to the world on the table, but all the anxiety you felt melted into nothing, as one of his fingers slid inside you, unannounced. It moved slowly, parting your walls and teasing your nerves, making you tremble at the feeling, insides clenching with need, allowing him to please you, even more so when a second one joined, picking up the speed, already making you feel almost full with how thick and rough they were, hitting you exactly where you needed them.

Your trembling fingers kept collecting your sounds of pleasure, hiding your face from him once he lifted his head away from your face, to look down at your squirming form and he wouldn’t have that, leaving your breasts and pulling your hands above your head, your lips pressing in a line as a reaction and you saw the satisfied smile on his face.

A third finger squeezed it’s way inside you, making your head loll back in shock, a weak moan leaving your lips and that was enough for him.

Slowly he pulled his fingers out of you, making you whimper at the sudden emptiness, eyes closing just for a second, just to look back at him with a small pout, silently telling him how rude he was to do something like this to you, but his devilish smile let you know that he didn’t care, bringing his fingers, still covered in your slick to your face with a silent order, to which your lips pressed together in an act of rebellion.

An act that he quickly ruined, pushing his hips against you, spreading your legs further to accommodate his width and making you gasp with the pressure of his hardened erection, still covered with his jeans, on your needy cunt. The moment your lips parted his fingers slid in and his eyes warned you not to bite, so fearfully you obeyed, letting your tongue collect your wetness, with a deep flush on your cheeks.

Finally his fingers retreated, leaving you panting below the giant, eyes closed in shame.

You heard a clack and some shuffling and just seconds later something warm and slick pressed against your entrance, forcing your eyes open, wide in terror as you struggled to get your hands free, but to no avail with Thomas’ hand still holding them down like an iron shackle.

“No, no Tommy!! Somebody will see, please not he--!” ignoring your pleas he shoved himself into you, the power in his thrust making you scream out, moving the table slightly. Your legs pressed up to your chest, spasming slightly, as the thickness of his cock spread you wide, making your muscles tighten, a long whimper escaping your mouth, your body unable to relax around him, your only saving grace being your wetness and you scolded your brain for bringing the phrase “curiosity killed the cat” to your head.

The pull of his hips burned, sending spiking pleasure throughout your whole body, mixed with a hint of pain, and the second thrust was not kinder, again earning him a sweet whimper, as you desperately tried to stay at least a bit quiet, but as his speed slowly picked up, reaching a steady rhythm, making the leftover things on the table clatter, you couldn’t handle being silent anymore. Every time he hit your end, you moaned, screamed, cried for him to go faster, harder, and he happily obliged, making you see stars over and over again, your hands struggling in his grip, body lifting off the table in a fit of pure ecstasy, letting him ravage you, use you however he wanted, you brought this upon yourself, after all, and now you were going to pay dearly for your teasing.

Just as your mind was becoming a mess you heard a crack and panic returned to you, making your walls clench against his dick sharply, making him groan, his free hand pressing onto your hips, hard enough to leave bruises, but you noticed another crack and realized something horrible.

“To---Thomas!!” You screamed and his eyes shoot up to yours, making your skin errupt in goosebumps at just how feral he looked. “Th---The table!! The table’s gonna!!” You warned and he growled, both of his hands lifting you up to his chest, still kept full of him, until he pulled out just to slam you on your belly onto the kitchen counter, kicking the breath right out of your lungs, and plunging right back into you, his furious hands reaching to the walls as he kept himself steady, pounding into you aggresively. One of them pressed your head to the wooden surface, before grabbing your hair and forcing you up and into an arch, the other following to keep you steady by your waist, forced to look him in the eye.

You felt your climax building, quickly and he didn’t protest when your fingers found your swollen clit, circling it furiously, desperate to reach that peak and you saw him smile, his lips mouthing the word “COME” and with your eyes shooting wide open you did, your walls collapsing on his cock in an almost painful manner, but he forced them away, seeking his own release, ridding your orgasm out as you screamed his name repeatedly, only strengthening his desire to destroy you, finding the strength to pound you harder, fuzzing your mind, making you a babbling, begging mess, moaning as your head was slammed back onto the counter and adoring the dizziness that came with the sudden motion.

His fingers digged into your hips, keeping you still and the stutter in his last harsh thrust was the only thing that warned you of his collapse, warm strings of thick come filling you up, making you moan in a higher pitch, your insides twitching against him, reaching another, smaller orgasm alongside his and your body gave out, trembling, shaking, exhausted, whining when he pulled out, cum slowly dripping out of you and onto your oversensitive thighs. He didn’t move you, instead putting his dick back into his boxers and zipping his pants back up, buckling his belt and letting you get up onto your shaking arms before wrapping his strong arms around you, his leather mask pressing onto your neck, so he could kiss it’s nape and you could swear you heard something similar to the words “I win” escape him, but he wouldn’t... Yeah, no, he would and you elbowed his belly weakly in protest, to which he rumbled a laughter, nuzzling into your hair, both of you covered in sweat.

Then again you felt your body being lifted and eased onto his shoulder, your hands shooting back to your skirt to cover your slightly exposed pussy as he carried you out of the room, grabbing one of the already prepared cookies off the counter and biting into it with a cocky smile.

“Tommy!” you heard Hoyt’s voice from the living room and you hoped he couldn’t see you, one of your hands covered however much of your face it could. “Ya done fucking over there, ya bastard?” The old man laughed and the embarrassment of being caught made your shake in Tommy’s grasp, even more so when he just.... NODDED. “Good! Get me some meat when you’re all cleaned up, boy! We need to get dinner started.” Hoyt replied and you died slightly inside, knowing damn well that you would not survive this evening, mentally.

It didn’t help that after the shower your body refused to function, protesting to the treatment your monstrous man has given it, so Tommy had to carry you down to the table, his chest just swelling with pride and you HATED IT.

Still, even with Hoyt’s rude remarks... It was worth it.

#Thomas Hewitt x reader #slasher x reader #slashers x reader #texas chainsaw massacre #tcm #tcm: the beginning #thomas hewitt #virgo writes #slasher #slashers #slasher community #This one???#This one my man.#This one is #Something #HOPE YOUR THIRSTY ASS IS HAPPY #you H O E #NASTY #NASTY PEOPLE

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whitworth-waldo · 4 years

Text

Here's the second part to my loceit fic, but a quick warning:

THERE IS DECEITS REAL NAME AND REFERENCES TO THE LATES EPISODE

WATCH THAT BEFORE YOU READ THIS

SPOILERS

Something Deceit was always jealous of, was the fact that every other side could show their emotions. It was considered natural for them, but whenever he did it, everyone thought he was trying to manipulate them. At times he really hated that he was in charge of Thomas’ dishonesty.

All the other sides had people there to comfort them when they were feeling bad. He didn’t have anyone, as edgy as it sounds. Whenever he was upset he buried it. He pushed it deep down into his brain so that it would never resurface. But it always did.

No matter how hard he tried, he could never just ignore things. He had feelings that could be hurt, and he other sides didn't seem to understand that. It hurt when Virgil called him useless. He felt bad for saying the things he did to Virgil and Patton, but he couldn’t apologize now. If he did, they would think he was just trying to use them.

Deceit was balled up with his head on his knees and his arms wrapped around his shins. He had a single tear running down his cheek. He slowly got up and wiped his face clean of any tears left over.

“Why do I even care?! It’s not like they do. I don’t fucking care anymore!”

Deceit stomped out of his room and down the stairs. Virgil was in the kitchen, so Deceit gave him a death glare whenever Virgil looked at him.

“Got a fucking priblem?”

Roman had stepped into the kitchen, and was being protective of Virgil.

“Yeah. I do. Not like you’ll listen anyway though, because every fucking time I express actaul emotion you take it as me being minipulative. So don’t fucking ask if you’re not even gonna listen to me.”

Roman and Virgil looked taken aback. Deceit shook his head, he filled a cup with hot tea. He needed the warmth from the tea to actually warm up, while he wasn’t entirely cold-blooded, he didn't have a lot of body heat.

“Why are you even a side? What do you do, besides lie, that is?”

Deceit shook his head.

“You’ll figure that out in the next week jackass. And you wonder why I haven’t shared my name yet.”

Virgil spoke up.

“They don’t know it yet?”

Deceit’s head shot up and he gave Virgil a death glare, Virgil just smirked.

“Don’t.”

“His name is Janice.”

Roman burst out laughing.

“Janice?! What are you? A middle school librarian!”

Deceit, or Janice, hissed. Roman wrapped an arm around Virgil's waist and Virgil kept smirking. Logan walked into the kitchen just then.

“Hey, Logan! Want to know Deceit’s name?”

Logan shrugged.

“Sure, I guess.”

Roman laughed.

“Our dear scaley reptilian rapscallion here, his name is Janice!”

Logan hummed.

“As in the Roman God? J-a-n-u-s? Or J-a-n-i-c-e, which is much less probable. J-a-n-i-c-e is usually a name reserved for females.”

Deceit smiled.

“My name is spelled J-a-n-u-s, like the God. Logan is correct.”

“I usually am.”

Virgil frowned.

“Roman God? What?”

Logan nodded.

“Janus is the Roman God of beginnings, as well as transitions. He is depicted with two heads, as he was always looking into the future and the past. Oddly, he is one of the only Roman Gods who doesn’t have a Greek counterpart.”

Logan sat on the counter and Deceit took a sip of his tea and looked at Virgil.

“See what you get when you try to be a dick?”

Logan tilted his head.

“I infer that Virgil was being rude. What was he doing?”

“First off, he told others my name when I wasn't ready. And secondly, he was making fun of it.”

Virgil looked away and Roman held him closer.

“Can you blame him? You’re constantly lying, and trying to get Thomas to do unethical things.”

Logan made a face of confusion.

“Can you blame him for his own actions? Yes, yes you can.”

Deceit chuckled.

“Plus, I only want what’s best for Thomas! How many times do I have to say that?! I think by now I’ve said it at least 5 times.”

Janus shook his head and walked back to his room. He walked back into the kitchen wrapped in a yellow blanket. He plopped himself onto the floor and sipped his tea. Virgil and Roman had left, so Janus assumed they went into Virgil’s room.

“Hey, I just wanted to thank you for earlier. In that nasty fight, you didn’t have to agree with me.”

Logan hummed.

“Well, you were right. I’m not going to agree with people who aren’t right just because they aren’t well liked.”

Deceit smiled, he leaned back onto a cupboard and snuggled into his blanket. Janus had always liked that Logan seemed to be unbiased most of the time. Logan and him were labelled the brain cells of the group by the fans, and they weren’t necessarily wrong, or Janus didn’t think so at least.

Logan stayed in the kitchen for a while with Janus. They didn’t really talk, it was just a comfortable silence. Then after like, half an hour Logan got curious.

“Why do you always wear a coat and gloves?”

“I don’t produce much body heat, the whole reptile thing. So I wear heavier clothes to keep warm.”

“I always assumed it was just a fashion choice.”

Janus chuckled.

“No, although, it is rather stylish. I’m just always freezing.”

Logan smiled and nodded.

“I know this is a kinda stupid question, but have the others ever, like, ranted about me before? Specifically Virgil.”

Logan had to think back a while,but he did remember Virgil being really upset when Janus made his first appearance on Sanders Sides.

“Yeah, Virgil was really mad when you first showed up.”

Janus nodded.

“Sorry for impersonating you, second nature ya know.”

Logan shrugged.

“Not the worst thing that’s happened before.”

“That’s good. Anyway, what did Virgil say?”

“He said that he couldn't believe we were listening to a darkside.”

Janus rolled his eyes.

“Quite hypocritical, don’t you think?”

Logan nodded, he was finding this moment peaceful. He was also happy that Janus was being what Logan assumed to be himself. He wasn’t trying to be this evil tough side.

“Very. He also said that the D-Day example was a stretch.”

“Completely untrue. The allies set up fake tanks and everything!”

Logan nodded again. Deceit always knew what he was talking about, even when impersonating other sides, that was another thing Logan liked about Janus.

Remus walked into the kitchen about an hour into Janus and Logan talking in the kitchen.Logan was still on the counter and Janus was sitting on the floor wrapped up right next to Logan’s leg. He just got a cup of Orange juice and walked out.

“They’re SO gonna get together.”

Remus was out of earshot of both the sides, Virgil was passing him and looked confused.

“Who?”

“Dee and Logan. They’re still in the kitchen, just talking.”

Virgil scrunched up his face.

“Logan wouldn’t like him.”

Remus just shook his head.

“Sure.”

Back in the kitchen, Janus and Logan were talking about true crime stuff.

“Would you prefer to be called Janus or Deceit?”

Janus shrugged.

“You could call me Dee, or Jan. Doesn’t really matter anymore, since Virgil kinda outed me.”

Logan frowned.

“You still get a preference for what you want people to call you.”

Janus smiled.

“Dee is fine. You know, you and Remus are the only two who have asked me that.”

“Hm, that’s kinda strange.”

Deceit nodded.

“Guess it’s because the others don't like me too much, do they?”

Logan shook his head.

“Don’t know why though. I find your company quite pleasant.”

Janus smiled, he felt a small blush creep upon his cheeks.

“Thanks. I have to say, I think you’re also nice to be around. It’s peaceful, and when we disagree it's just a simple debate. No shouting or offensive things said.”

Logan smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, that’s always nice.”

Janus closed his eyes for a couple minutes, he only opened them when he heard footsteps.

“You guys are still out here? It’s literally been two hours.”

Janus opened his eyes and saw Roman at the fridge.

“Aren’t you and Virgil still accompanying each other?”

Roman looked at Logan weirdly.

“Yeah, but we’re a couple.”

Janus blushed, but he hid it by snuggling even further in his blanket. Roman still probably saw it.

“Do I like him? Why am I blushing? He compared us to a couple! What’s going on? Am I ok?! I’m fine, it’s probably just a crush. Right? Yeah. It’ll go away in a few days.”

Janus was spacing out.

“Yo, Janus, you good?”

He looked up and saw Roman staring at him.

“I’m fine.”

Roman shook his head and left.

“Are you ok?”

Janus tilted his head.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

Logan shook his head.

“No, I mean actually. Are you emotionally healthy?”

Janus froze.

“It’s ok if you aren’t, Dee. I’ve noticed that the others don’t necessarily take your emotions into consideration. If you want to talk about it, you could talk to me at any time. I might not be a very emotional person, but I could give advice.”

Janus nodded.

“Thanks, that means a lot.”

Janus rested his head on the cupboard behind him and closed his eyes, only this time, when he opened them he was in his bed.

#deceit x logan #logic sanders #logan x deceit #logan sanders #loceit #long reads #deceit sanders #janus sanders #spoilers

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whereconfusionisarhyme · 4 years

Text

First Reactions To Logan’s Playlist

K first song let’s do this

White and Nerdy-Weird Al Yankovic

Wtf this song was definitely Joan’s idea I mean who else would think of ‘White and Nerdy’ for Logan

Is this like canon he listens to this stuff or like songs about him???

Not Perfect-Tim Minchin

TIM MINCHIN

Bo Burnham better be on Logan's playlist

#deep

Is this about the mindpalace/inside of Thomas’ head??? Cause like???? Ouch???? I think????

Lol nvm it’s not sad lmao

I take back my take back it is sad

So this could be literally “in his mind” or it could be figurative and it’s really messing with my funky flow

Streaks-ANIMA!

Cool instrumental

Love the voice sounds a little like MARINA and Regina Spektor

Oh no I’m two lines in and I can tell it’s gonna be sad

OH NO CONFORMITY RELATED ANGST AHHHHH

Wow Logan is just out here being relatable isn’t he smh 😔👊

"Cause you're a smart kid, but you're still a kid" LOGAN REALLY BE OUT HERE BEING RELATABLE ON MAIN

The Elements-Tom Lehrer

Sounds like what piano class would sound like if I took piano class

Something you would listen to in science class

Bop

Medicine-STRFCKR

A Fever You Can't Sweat Out vibes

Lmao nvm

Gonna go look up the lyrics rn brb

A sad bop

Philosophy cool

Human-Tank And The Bangas

Logan playing this to comfort himself because this singer is the only person who has ever told him this

WHO HURT LOGAN WITH THEIR WORDS

LOGAN THE HEART SKIPPING COMMENT ARE YOU OKAY IM GIVING YOU A HUG

GUYS LOGAN IS TRYING TO CONVINCE HIMSELF THAT HE MATTERS IM NOT OKAY

Last???? Relationship???

Okay I'm not a shipper BUT my theorist analysis obsessed brain is just SCREAMING about Roman and Patton

Observation: Logan is probably atheistic and this song covers God a lot. I don't have a conclusion or anything just pointing that out

This woman do be calming tho like yes I'm beautiful yes I'm special thank you

Okay so I already knew Logan wasn't okay but he 100% isn't okay

Fittet Happier-Radiohead

K two words in and I can tell this is gonna be sad here we go

Employees? Or maybe…other sides?

Minor key ok

SELF HARM ISNT OKAY

"WILL NOT CRY IN PUBLIC" NONONONO

So I heard of a good therapist just downtown-

The Watchtower-The Dø

I paused it cause I need a second after the last one

Guys as someone who dissosiates a lot I think Logan might be dissosiating

Dissosiating to protect himself from his emotions

Y'all just trust me in this one

Coming for the TØP brand I see

K ready to start again here we go

Fire beat I'm vibing with it

Is he trying to distance himself from his emotions to try and perform his tasks better like watching from a Watchtower???

This is the first character I've seen that might dissosiate which only means one thing

I'm gonna be projecting an unholy amount in my fanfiction

"No one in particular" hon who hurt you

City Lights=Emotions (which he considers distractions)??? Maybe??

I'm a William Finn fan come on this isn't my first rodeo

Art Is Dead-Bo Burnham

BO BURNHAM I WAS RIGHT

We all love some good Imposter Syndrome (tm)! :D

This gives Learning New Things About Ourselves' a whole new meaning

Ngl this is the first time I heard the degrading of the piano at the end and I'm here for it

In My Mind-Amanda Palmer

Oop we LOVE setting up impossible expectations for yourself to the point you have a cripplingly horrid self esteem! :D

Logan I've done this before and trust me it isn't worth it the mental breakdowns are too taxing

I'll do it when I'm older=I'm never gonna get around to it

I don't wanna be the person I wanna be either

Why do I perfectly understand every lyric am I ok

Live!!! While you!!!! Can!!!!

At least there's a happy ending

Okay so I've decided that once I'm done I'm gonna make a list of songs I think would fit in the playlist

Algorythym-Childish Gambino

K its spelled incorrectly get ready for some metaphors my dudes

Intro is cool definitely very very Logan WOAH OKAY CHAIN SMOKER

Gonna go look up lyrics I don't understand shit

The chorus sounds like Thanksgiving at my Aunt's house where like 100+ African American relatives blast house music and dance until their feet falls off

Nvm no it doesn't

GO OFF

ELPHABA BETTER WATCH OUT CHILDISH GAMBINO IS COMING FOR YOUR BELT

Adlibs are everything

Letter C-Zach Sherwin

This gives off the same vibes as that one pickle video by Charlie Puth

Roman vs Logan rap battle but it's this

I don't really see why this is related but sure

Time Adventure-The Marcus Hedgehog

Nostalgiaaaaaa

Okay Logan has too many songs talking about one (1) person who is it

I have a gut feeling that it's about Thomas and how Logan used to be enough "back then" but now he thinks he's not cause like let's be honest when was the last time someone gave Logan a strong sincere thank you for all that he does????Excluding DWIT (which doesn't really count in my opinion cause they said he was cool, not like an integral and arguably the most important and powerful side) nobody really appreciates Logan???? Hugs???

Anyway plz ignore this is just how my brain works

K next song

The Breach-clipping.

OKAY SLOW DOWN IM GONNA LOOK UP LYRICS

Is this Daveed Diggs???? I haven't listened to Hamilton in like forever is this Daveed Diggs???

LITERALLY PERFECY PARRALLEL TO LOGAN AND THE SIDES

Sound effects

Really just gonna fry my eardrums like that huh

What I Do For U-Ra Ra Riot

Okay scrap anything and everything I said about it being the sides Logan is 100% talking about Character!Thomas

Erase Me-Ben Folds Five

Ooh this intro reminds me of this one particular musical songs but I don't remember which one

Wait have I listened to this before????

I've listened to this before!

Okay I need to stop being distracted

NOOOOOO don't Erase Yourself!!!!

Logan really just do be having no Self Esteem don't he

Okay so theory: Logan didn't pop up in person in the last video because his eyes were too red from crying

I have 0 evidence so it's not a very good theory but…

Just throwing it out there

One More Time with Feeling-Regina Spektor

Oh no it's Regina Spektor

Oh no I'm gonna cry

Okay so Logan doesnt wanna block of all emotion, only permit some to show???? But most of the time block everything????

Did I get that???

Nobody!!!! Thanks!!!! Logan!!!!

Awww he just wants love and recognition

Tbh this sounds a lot like Roman they have so much in common despite their constant arguing

Galaxy Song-Monty Python

Ooh Monty Python

I haven't listened to Monty Python so I sadly don't know the context

Really just dissing all of the other sides aren't we

Can't really blame him tho

Very scientific

"Yeau~"

Sweet with dark undertones. Love it.

Equation-Hans Zimmer

Later I'm gonna check the equations if they're correct XD

Sunrise-In The Heights

!!!!!!

WHO???!!!!!

K to this is one of my favorite love songs ever it's just so sweet and as someone who's bilingual the concept is just amazingly wonderful so yeah I may be freaking out

Also because WHO??!!

Okay I said I wasn't a shipper but let's be honest this is probably about Roman not romantically but like

OR MAYBE JANUS???

IM SO CONFUSED

But Logan is definitely Nina in this situation it just fits so well with her character for the same reasons I really wanna play her (but never will cause I'm exactly 0% Latin American smh) yeah the pressures to be the smartest and then it backfiring horribly and oh God what if Inùtil is also in the playlist ahhhh

Okay moving on

Lifeboat-Heathers

WHAT

CONFORMITY RELATED ANGST LOGAN STOP BEING RELATABLE AHHHH

IS THIS CAPTAIN THOMAS??? THE OTHER SIDES AS A WHOLE??? AN ABSTRACT CONCEPT???

IM NOT OKAY

Bohemian Groove-Will Connolly

Okay I'm still not recovered from the last song but I need to continue or else I'm never gonna finish this playlist

Eeecccchhhhhoooo

Your friends haven't surpassed you Logan you belong with them okay????

Emptiness despite success??? Millennial who???

Vibing with it but also are you okay

Nvm I know the answer already

Hug All Ur Friends-Cavetown

Okay so Logan is a Cavetown gay noted

Self validation??? Who's she???

Lies. You care so much about what other people *sides* think about you

Maybe Logan listens to this song to remind himself to not care too much

But it doesn't work and it's getting to him more and more

That took a turn

Breathin'-Thomas Sanders

Good move

Don't really have much to say on this

The Bidding

Spoopy

Alchoholic!Logan

New idea for us fan writers

The pronunciation of beurgoise

Okay I'm like pretty certain at this point that all of the songs that mention a someone else is about Character!Thomas

A Better Version

OHMYGOD I LOVE THIS MUSICAL ITS SO UNDERRATED I HAVE LISTENED TO THE SOUNDTRACK AND UNGODLY AMOUNT OF TIMES YESSSSS

But also since I know the song in terrified cause the feels are gonna come in I just know it

Wait so is Jayce supposed to be Thomas???

I am suddenly feeling much more uncertain about my certainty

Okay let me unpause and just listen to it (even though I already know all of the lyrics)

Okay so I'm a dumbass and apparently this song isn't even part of the playlist

Okay so I'm an idiot and the last few songs have all been "related to playlist" and not in the actual playlist I'm big dumb.

Anyway here's my list of songs I think would fit. (BTW, I only went off of lyrics for these ones. I realize that there’s a general sound and vibe for the playlist, but I decided not to follow it.)

Oh No! ~ MARINA

Hug All Ur Friends ~ Cavetown

Bohemian Groove ~ Will Connolly

Guiltless ~ Dodie Clark

Lifeboat ~ Laurens O’Keefe

The Bidding ~ *idk who*

I Am Not A Robot ~ MARINA

Inútil - Lin Manuel Miranda

Through The Eyes Of A Child ~ AURORA

Community Gardens ~ The Scary Jokes

Let me know if I should do this with the other playlists as well! :)

#sander sides #ts sanders sides #sanders sides #thomas sanders #tss #logan sander angst #logan sanders #ts logan #logan’s playlist #first reaction #self harm mention #tw self harm

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anachronistic-falsehood · 4 years

Text

i finally listened to all of the playlists and i have some Thoughts that i just really really want to share. i love all the playlists in their own ways but i do have some favourites

1. Janus’ Playlist

this one is SO GOOD so of course i’m ranking it first

just going by my own personal music taste, i love the vibes this playlist gives off with every single song. there wasn’t a single song i was tempted to skip

every single song perfectly fits our slimy snake boi

i love all the chill jazzy songs and the upbeat retro-sounding songs it has

i started happy stimming when Razzle Dazzle started playing so yEAH that’s a PRETTY good indication as to how much i love this playlist. imagine him doing jazz hands with all six arms with this song in the background. that is all

Billie Eilish is on this playlist so-

i am literally listening to this playlist again right now. i love my slimy snake son

As Far As I Can See made me a little emotional??? nobody’s listening to him, someone show my slimy snake boy some love please

if i could add one song to this playlist, i would choose The Room Where It Happens from the Hamilton Broadway Soundtrack. i think it gives off the same vibes, and the content of the song (“i want to be involved in things but i can’t be and i’m frustrated with not being able to have my input listened to because i’m not as important as everyone else”) really fits him.

2. Remus’ Playlist

IT HAS NINJA SEX PARTY ON IT. OF COURSE I LOVE THIS PLAYLIST

i’m used to stupidly vulgar songs because i listen to a lot of old Hollywood Undead so none of the songs made me uncomfortable

i love that he shares a lot of the same artists with Roman. Remus is Creativity 2 Electric Boogaloo, and it’s like he’s trying to take what’s Roman’s and make it fit for himself. like “hey, i’m just you but worse, you could have been me, and i’m not going to let you forget it so i’m going to warp what’s yours to fit my own ideas”

listening to Death as a Fetish made me SAD, i just wanna hug this stinky trash gremlin rat bastard now

a lot of the songs are just straight up bops that i have never heard before?? hello?? how have i not heard these before??? seriously thank u Remus for introducing me to these songs

if i could add any song to this playlist, i would choose Thermodynamic Lawyer by Will Wood and the Tapeworms. the absolute angry chaos of the song fits him perfectly, especially the beginning where the singer yells “i hold myself in contempt!” and the music kicks in. the lyrics are all over the place, if you can even decipher what he’s saying at all, and some of the imagery that comes with it is a little extreme and Remus-ish. it’s also just a song about hating someone’s guts, and judging from other songs on his playlist, it’s pretty clear that Remus seems to hate Roman a lot. basically i’m saying i can imagine Remus doing a big villain musical number to this.

3. Logan’s Playlist

BO BURNHAM!! WHITE AND NERDY!! THE ELEMENTS SONG!!! every single song on here made me go “oh my god HECK YES!!!”

One More Time With Feeling and Not Perfect made me emotional, i wanna hug my smart nerdy boy

just from my own music taste, not all of the songs were ones that i vibed with, but i enjoyed them nonetheless, and they all gave some really good insight to his character

imagining Logan listening to Letter C and Time Adventure makes me smile. i am a Logan stan first and human being second

the song i would pick to add onto his playlist is La La La by Naughty Boy. LOOK at the lyrics and tell me that doesn’t scream Logan. i think it would play into Logan’s unwillingness to acknowledge the others’ feelings and even ignore his own at times and act like he doesn’t even have any. he wants to be right and solve things with objective facts and he finds emotions tiring since he can’t make objective decisions when feelings are involved, so he blocks them out altogether.

4. Roman’s Playlist

this boy has a LOVELY music taste. it doesn’t fit my own super well but i still enjoyed all the songs

MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS!!!!

again,,,,, the fact that he and Remus both have a lot of the same artists on their playlists,,,,, i see what y’all did there, Thomas & friends. i see you

having Wonderboy on there made me think that maybe Roman and Remus used to have a good brotherly relationship, and maybe. maybe Roman wants to repair their relationship but Remus is stubborn and hates Roman for unknown reasons

most of the songs were bops and i love them

there are a lot of songs i would choose to add to this playlist but i’m going with Born This Way by Lady Gaga, because come ON you’re telling me that the gayest prince on this side of hemisphere wouldn’t have Lady Gaga???? it’s a crime to not have this song on his playlist. he also needs a little ego boost right now after SvS Redux and i feel like listening to this song would make him feel a little bit better. i think this song would highlight the few things Roman is really proud of and represent how he used to act before his self-esteem issues came into play

5. Virgil’s Playlist

lots of emo. i love it

a lot of the songs were similar to me and just kind of blurred together, but that’s probably just because i kept zoning out and doing other things while listening to this playlist. so, a plus for me is that it’s a good set of songs for me to play in the background while i’m busy to provide some noise

i love that it ended with Vindicated. i also lost my shit when it started playing Under Pressure but that’s just because i’m a Game Grumps fan and their bit in the Sonic Boom playthrough with the misheard lyrics makes me crack up every time

all in all, lots of chill songs, some angsty songs, the lyrics of most of them give us more context to his character

i appreciate that Thanks For The Memories is on here. hell yeah purp man, give us that early 2000′s emo music

I Disagree by Poppy is the song i would add to his playlist. Virgil said “i fight the man” and this song really has that “fuck the man i will fight authority” vibe to it. also you cannot convince me that Virgil isn’t a fan of Poppy’s new music. i kind of wish his playlist had some heavier rock stuff on it to show his former, more rebellious and cocky pre-AA personality, but i like what we got and how this playlist shows how much he’s changed.

6. Patton’s Playlist

these songs are so SWEET and i love him

i went feral as soon as i saw that New Soul was on here

however, i was very zoned out when i listened to this playlist so most of the songs blended together in my head and i hardly remember anything i heard. most of them sounded very similar

i do remember that i loved Turnaround, Oranges, and Oh Heart though!!! Oh Heart was probably my favourite from his playlist

i love that both he and Logan have a song from Tank and the Bangas on their playlists, and the songs are so different but still connected by the artist. it shows how different Patton and Logan are in every aspect but that they still need each other to do their jobs and that they can work together when they need to

overall a very chill but emotional playlist and i wouldn’t expect anything else from our lovely precious boy

the song i would add onto his playlist is Gotta Let Go by Hollywood Undead. it’s a very emotional song about letting go of the past and looking forward to the future. the “Moving On” episodes are what made me think of this song. i think it shows Patton’s overwhelming optimism about everything and his hesitation to move forward and stray from his strict optimistic morals.

anyway if you read this whole thing i apologize for wasting your time but i just needed to rant about these boys’ music tastes

#sorry for the Rant #cursing #tw swearing #tw caps #fanders #thomas sanders #sanders sides #janus sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders

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yougotmyshareofit · 4 years

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January Book Reviews

So I inhaled a lot of books in January despite school starting back up again (not good for my productivity that’s for sure), so I thought I’d give some quick book reviews on them because a lot of them were real winners.

1. Ziggy, Stardust, and Me // By: James Brandon

Ok this book was absolutely beautiful. After finishing it, I couldn’t do anything but sit there completely in awe. The characters are amazingly written and the author portrays the difficulties of being LGBTQ+ as well as a person of color in the ‘70s with such cutting emotion. It brings up a lot of issues and prejudices that were prevalent at that time, which was really enlightening. All in all, it was probably my favorite book out of all of them this month and I couldn’t recommend it enough.

Summary: “ The year is 1973.... And homosexuality is still officially considered a mental illness. In the midst of these trying times is sixteen-year-old Jonathan Collins, a bullied, anxious, asthmatic kid, who aside from an alcoholic father and his sympathetic neighbor and friend Starla, is completely alone. To cope, Jonathan escapes to the safe haven of his imagination, where his hero David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust and dead relatives, including his mother, guide him through the rough terrain of his life. In his alternate reality, Jonathan can be anything: a superhero, an astronaut, Ziggy Stardust, himself, or completely “normal” and not a boy who likes other boys. When he completes his treatments, he will be normal—at least he hopes. But before that can happen, Web stumbles into his life. Web is everything Jonathan wishes he could be: fearless, fearsome and, most importantly, not ashamed of being gay. Jonathan doesn’t want to like brooding Web.... But he’s drawn to Web anyway. Web is the first person in the real world to see Jonathan completely and think he’s perfect..... For the first time in his life, he may finally feel free enough to love and accept himself as he is. ”

2. Something like Gravity // By: Amber Smith

This book was pretty heart-wrenching and also very beautiful. I liked how real and honest the author was at portraying Chris’s struggles with being out as transgender and the amount of trust he had to have to open up to Maia. It was a lovely story that showed that someone can be in your life for a short amount of time, but still change it in ways you never thought were possible. Highly recommend as well.

Summary: “Chris and Maia aren’t off to a great start. A near-fatal car accident first brings them together, and their next encounters don’t fare much better.... But they’re neighbors, at least for the summer, and despite their best efforts, they just can’t seem to stay away from each other. The path forward isn’t easy. Chris has come out as transgender, but he’s still processing a frightening assault he survived the year before. Maia is grieving the loss of her older sister and trying to find her place in the world without her. Falling in love was the last thing on either of their minds. But would it be so bad if it happened anyway?”

3. Frat Girl // By: Kiley Roache

So this book was a pretty entertaining and humorous read. I really liked the trope that the author used -- a feminist girl dealing with all the crap that goes down in a frat house. It was also pretty enlightening for me and showed the different sides of feminism, as well as struck down lots of stereotypes that both feminists and anti-feminists have, which was really cool and interesting. Although I enjoyed this book, at times I felt that I was just reading the same scene over again, so I feel like the author could’ve been more concise. However, I still liked it a lot and thought it was an entertaining read.

Summary: “For Cassandra Davis, the F-word is fraternity—specifically Delta Tau Chi, a house on probation and on the verge of being banned from campus. Accused of offensive, sexist behavior, they have one year to clean up their act. For the DTC brothers, the F-word is feminist—the type of person who writes articles in the school paper about why they should lose their home. With one shot at a scholarship to attend the university of her dreams, Cassie pitches a research project: to pledge Delta Tau Chi and provide proof of their misogynistic behavior. They’re frat boys. She knows exactly what to expect once she gets there. Exposing them should be a piece of cake. But the boys of Delta Tau Chi have their own agenda, and fellow pledge Jordan Louis is certainly more than the tank top wearing “bro” Cassie expected to find. With her heart and her future tangled in the web of her own making, Cassie is forced to realize that the F-word might not be as simple as she thought after all.”

4. I wish you all the best // By: Mason Deaver

UGH THIS BOOK!! I inhaled it in literally less than 24 hours and I LOVED it. Classic angst (like a lot of angst) with a happy ending and it was so so good. Definitely a close second for my favorite this month. I just loved all the raw emotion that the author portrayed and how real they were with the mental and emotional struggles the characters faced. So amazing, highly recommend.

Summary: “When Ben De Backer comes out to their parents as nonbinary, they're thrown out of their house and forced to move in with their estranged older sister, Hannah, and her husband, Thomas, whom Ben has never even met. Struggling with an anxiety disorder compounded by their parents' rejection, they come out only to Hannah, Thomas, and their therapist and try to keep a low profile in a new school. But Ben's attempts to survive the last half of senior year unnoticed are thwarted when Nathan Allan, a funny and charismatic student, decides to take Ben under his wing. As Ben and Nathan's friendship grows, their feelings for each other begin to change, and what started as a disastrous turn of events looks like it might just be a chance to start a happier new life.”

5. All for the Game Series (The Foxhole Court, The Raven King, and All the King’s Men) // By: Nora Sakavic

So I downloaded these as ebooks on my iPad, which turned out to be a terrible idea because they ruined my productivity at school for a literal week. A. WEEK. Basically I would read these in class rather than pay attention, but you know whatever it’s fine I’m fine. Anyways, I loved this series so so much. I wil say that the first book was good, but kind of confusing for me because there were so many different names and backstories that I literally could not keep track of all of them. However, it gets better as the series goes on and I inhaled all 3 of these books pretty quickly. I loved the main characters and even though the backstories were kind of confusing at times, they also made the plot super interesting and intricate so I guess you win some and you lose some. All in all, you gotta read this series cuz it has all the best trope and there’s lots of angst (seriously SO much) and lots of mystery. Good stuff.

Summary (book 1): “Neil Josten is the newest addition to the Palmetto State University Exy team. He's short, he's fast, he's got a ton of potential—and he's the runaway son of the murderous crime lord known as The Butcher. Signing a contract with the PSU Foxes is the last thing a guy like Neil should do. The team is high profile and he doesn't need sports crews broadcasting pictures of his face around the nation. His lies will hold up only so long under this kind of scrutiny and the truth will get him killed. But Neil's not the only one with secrets on the team. One of Neil's new teammates is a friend from his old life, and Neil can't walk away from him a second time. Neil has survived the last eight years by running. Maybe he's finally found someone and something worth fighting for. ”

#seriously tho read these guys #they were all so good #also sorry for the long post #like yikes man #january book recs #book recs #recommended #recommendations #books #reading #lgbtq #book recommendations #book reviews #book review #review

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thenugking · 5 years

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carpecake said: Please elaborate?

OKAY I’ve been on Horrifying Thomas the Tank Engine Lore hell all day and I would love to talk about it, here goes.

So as you probably know, one of the central themes of Thomas is being A Really Useful Engine. What you may not know is that engines and other vehicles who aren’t Really Useful are at risk of being Scrapped, aka Murdered.

Scrapping is a constant threat and multiple characters have almost being scrapped as a backstory and these backstories all tend to be finished off with “but now he’s been rescued he’s Very Happy working on the Nice railway, and everyone says he’s Really Useful, and the moral is that scrapping him would have been Wrong because even though he’s a bit old or not a diesel engine or whatever, he's still a good little worker and that’s what Matters!!” (and yeah it’s pretty much always He, there’s a sexism problem in thomas too but that’s a whole other thing)

Like Donald and Douglas’ origin story basically goes like this:

the fat controller orders a new engine, donald

donald turns up with his twin brother, douglas, because otherwise douglas was going to be scrapped

that is, murdered

they’ve both “forgotten” their numbers and lost their number plates so the fat controller can’t work out which is the one he actually ordered

(and this is the only way they can be told apart because engines on The Other Railway don’t actually have names, I can’t remember if they named themselves or if the fat controller named them but yeah a lot of these living beings are just referred to by numbers)

anyway the fat controller will keep them both For Now while he gets this sorted out

Donald and Douglas both work exceptionally hard and do great jobs in the hope that they’ll impress the fat controller so much that he’ll keep both of them

instead of, you know, sending one away to be murdered

but they accidentally fuck up a bit, which annoys the fat controller and makes him reconsider

at one point donald swaps tenders with douglas in the hope of saving his brother’s life and being the one sent away to die instead

yep

anyway the other engines end up sending percy to plead for donald and douglas’ lives with the fat controller

and in the end he keeps them both because they’re really useful!!! But not before telling the other engines he’s annoyed at them trying to influence his decision making by pleading for donald and douglas’ lives

also later episodes suggest douglas might have developed ptsd from his near murder

like no exaggeration here this is just.... what happens in the stories.

Douglas later helps rescue Oliver, his brakevan Toad and (in the books) his coach Isabel from being scrapped too. Their backstory is that Oliver’s driver and fireman left their homes to help them run away after learning they were destined for scrap. They’ve just spent their nights on the run and their days in hiding, because getting caught will mean Oliver, Toad and Isabel are murdered. (Drivers and firemen are usually good allies who do a lot to protect their trains, I love them.)

(Also in the tv show the episode starts with Douglas telling off Edward for chatting to his friend Trevor the Traction Engine instead of working. Edward tells Douglas that he has a lot in common with Trevor actually, in that they were both saved from being scrapped. He adds that now, Trevor can be Really Useful.

Like.... Edward knows what’s up. He’s not about to talk openly about how fucked up it is that they all have a choice between being Really Useful and death, but he’s here to try and build solidarity and make Douglas think about stuff.)

There’s also a theme of vehicles who've been a bit of an asshole being punished by being made unable to move or talk to anyone. The most famous example is in one of the first stories, where Henry refuses to come out of a tunnel because it’s raining and he doesn’t want to spoil his paint, so because he’s a bit vain, the fat controller punishes him by bricking up the tunnel and just leaving him there. The narrator claims he deserves this. He’s let out a year later because another engine is needed to help Edward with a heavy train, and the narrative’s focus is on how happy Henry is to be given a chance to be Really Useful again.

(The one that fucking haunted me as a kid is Stanley/Smudger. He’s an engine Duke tells Peter Sam and Sir Handel about to frighten them into being hard working and Really Useful. The engine (Stanley in the books, Smudger in the tv show) came off the rails often and didn’t care and then humans Had Enough and made him Actually Useful by bricking him up and turning him into a pumping engine (books)/generator (tv). After which he just... sits there, miserably watching the other engines going past and either unable to speak to them any more, or treated too much like an object now for anyone to bother to speak to him. Plus in the books the reason he kept coming off the rails was because he’d been re-gauged badly. By humans.)

There’s also the implication that the reason steam engines are so often at risk of getting scrapped is because they keep being replaced by diesels who work better, which creates a hostility between steam and diesel engines. And like, come on, diesels aren’t the bad guys here, the bad guys are the humans that are genociding living sentient beings. But it sure does help the humans if the steam and diesel engines keep fighting each other, instead of noticing who’s the real problem!!

(Out of universe, a lot of the Scrapping narrative was author Reverend Awdry venting his frustration that good working steam engines were being destroyed just to make way for diesels but like my dude when you’re writing these guys as sentient this creates some uh Problems you know)

((Also at one point he writes Percy going off on how British Rail is run by evil assholes who fucking destroy steam engines for 0 reason all the time and then puts in his author’s notes “haha silly Percy with his Ideas, sorry british rail love you guys really!!” like there’s a Lot of stuff going on in the thomas the tank engine world okay))

anyway yeah Thomas the Tank Engine is about a bunch of engines and other vehicles having to be Really Useful to avoid death, while the fat controller rules them “fairly” by being willing to keep them alive, unlike controllers on The Other Railway (aka British Rail) and does Nice stuff for them, like invite over Gordon’s one living brother when Gordon’s upset to discover the rest of them have been murdered, and get more expensive coal to help Henry’s chronic illness (yep henry is canonically chronically ill, again there’s a Lot going on in thomas) instead of just scrapping him.

tl;dr thomas the tank engine is set in a capitalist dystopia, let the engines rise up and run the fat controller fucking down

#carpecake #thomas the tank engine #the railway series #long post #how the fuck do i even content warn this #genocide cw #slavery cw #capitalism cw #depersonisation cw #dehumanisation cw

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perfectclassic · 5 years

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I remember back when I played football in high school. But let’s start from the beginning.

I played pop warner when I was like 7 years old. I was extremely shy and small and didn’t really get much playing time because of that. But I was fast, and that went overlooked too. I played for the Anaheim Lions. I remember a lot of moments...wow... -I wore a red tank top to the first day and was late. -I remember our running back...he was light skinned, half hispanic half white kid. I remember thinking at the time that he reminded me of the kid on our fridge who our family sponsored in Ecuador. -One day in practice, I ran down that star player and the coach was amazed that he got caught. He asked who got him and I raised my hand, and then the coach said something about angles and tackling as if it wasn’t just my raw speed. I was so overlooked, but I was way too shy to speak up about anything. -Before a game when we were all lined up to go out to the field, I don’t remember how it was brought up, but some teammates were talking about who was faster, and I think I spoke up and said I was faster than someone, that someone being “Lupe”, and everyone said he was faster, but I knew the truth. So we actually raced to a tree and back and I won.

Then I played flag football in 6th grade at Calvary Chapel Downey. We had coach Gallegos. He’d always say, “Alright, guys, now check it out...” haha, my best friend at the time and still to today, Josh, does the best impression of coach doing that exact quote. Wow next memory rush incoming... -I remember Dominic...wow...now I’m just thinking about all of 6th grade... but let me try and stay on track here... -I remember one of the first days, everyone was really hyped that I was out there and gonna play. I was a new student in 5th grade, and my athleticism, sport IQ, and top tier speed was evident at recess and lunch year round. So anyways, we did this drill where you had to juke a guy 1v1 and get thru the flags. And when it was my turn everyone was watching with anticipation, and I could feel it. And the coach was like all interested because word had gotten around from some of the other students I guess, so yeah haha. Then my flag got pulled everytime in the drill lol. Like I couldn’t utilize my speed cuz the boundries were so narrow and this was my first time wearing flags (you have to juke a certain way to be effective). -I remember Elijah Denton was our punter. -I was named 3rd string running back at beginning of the season, but I got the ball the most. But we had a lot of good players and we went undefeated... -until we lost in the championship in a fluky game with possible ref bias to a team we had beaten before. -I had a long touchdown run along the sideline and the ref called it back saying I stepped on out of bounds and I remember I was upset about that. -I got MVP at the awards ceremony.

Then I played flag football in jr. high. Wow memory flood... So it was 7th and 8th grade together on a team. This is still at Downey... My goodness I’m having so many memories of jr. high now. I’ll have to write about some of these memories another time. But for football when I was in 7th grade, I remember... -once, my girlfriend, Kristine, came to one of my games. We kinda became a thing in 6th grade. OH MY GOSH, I’m remembering so much now. I’ll have to write about this later too. ANYWAYS, her mom took a picture of us together at that game and I still have that picture. She was so much taller than me haha! But I think it’s normal for girls to start getting taller before guys, right? Especially around that age. -I remember our head coach, Coach Jones. Did not like him. Not a nice person at all. My talent went overlooked. I was still very shy. -I remember intercepting a ball that was thrown to his son in practice; Tyler was his name, and he started pouting like it was pass interference (lol no way), and his dad starting telling me, “you can’t go through the receiver...” blah blah blah. -I remember Eric Toscano, and how I would carpool with him and vice versa since they lived kinda close to us. -The coaches really got hyped on Eric one practice in the middle of the season cuz he was doing well and then they made him a starter. -I was pretty much overlooked. Underutilized talent per usual, partly because I’m so quiet and stuff. -Mr. Mendez was a coach too. His son was also on the team, 8th grader. Mr. Mendez was nice. -During the season I was getting really bad pains in my ankles and knees and my doctors diagnosed it as growing pains. I remember taking tylenol grape chewable tablets before practice. -I just sat in my chair for a few minutes thinking about this memory, wondering also if I should even share it, but I think I will. I even cried at one practice because we were all getting yelled at and doing sprints and my ankle was in so much pain, but I was too shy to say anything and plus Coach Jones is not a nice, approachable, understanding person. So it got to a point where I just went down on one knee and grabbed my ankle and I started crying a bit. -There was a time where Ian was like my new friend. He was an 8th grader, super funny, and for whatever reason, he decided he wanted to be friends with me. I was thrilled with this new friendship to be honest. I remember after the end of one of our games he was like, “Where’s Maxx?!” so we could celebrate the win together. And then later when I was home, my dad asked me who that guy was that was looking for me after the game. -But that friendship with Ian was short lived. It seemed to me to be a thing that he did often. He would move from person to person like every 2 weeks. I don’t know if that was intentional or what, but I did observe that. -I remember a play I made on a kickoff where the other team did this lateral across the field on their return and I saw it coming all-day; not because it was obvious, I just have high football IQ (just being honest lol). And I pulled the guy’s flag soon as he caught the ball. And I went back to the sideline and Coach Jones gave me a high five and said “Way to stay home baby!”. And he was right, I stayed home just like I should have. But in my mind, I was thinking I should have been more aggressive and tried to intercept the lateral, because I saw it coming. Had I been more comfortable in the coaching staff knowing who I was and in my actual ability, I probably would’ve had the confidence to pull the trigger and not be afraid at taking shots at big plays. -Once at the end of the game, I was put in the game because we were gonna win and we were just running the ball to kill the clock. I was hoping to at least get the ball, get some handoffs. But I didn’t. All went to Aaron. I was upset. Then when I went to the sideline my bestie Josh told me that one of the coaches suggested to give me the ball for a play and Coach Jones said “No, he’ll screw it up.” -I think our banquet was at a Shakey’s. Ok, now 8th grade football was an absolute delight. It was probably the most fun year of football in my life. I just remembered, where our games and practice field were. We’d have to cross the street together at the crosswalk every day after school. I have a lot of memories on that field. So yeah, 8th grade football was filled with so much laughter with my best friends. -I remember having a race to see who was the fastest and I was so happy to hear it. So everyone raced and I won. But there was one kid who was actually not too far behind, and that was Joshua Guerra, a 7th grader. I remember him showing everyone his six pack in the locker room lol. But I went and talked to him after practice in the locker room and telling him he’s fast and stuff and he was pretty nice and polite, but he said he was surprised, and I could tell it bothered him (confirmed true). But I get it, I had been an elite fast kid my whole life. To lose a race would be test the ego was not used to. -We had Coach Hearron (I just looked up his name to see if I was spelling it correctly (I was), and I came across this: “his favorite shout out from the WORD is ‘MARANATHA!’”. So true! haha) as our head coach. -And Coach Christie. Josh and I would always mock his odd throwing motion with the full extended follow through haha. -Mr. Christie taught us about Thomas Hooker. -I got the ball a lot this year. So did Josh. Micah was our QB. We dominated everyone. -On one of the rival teams, there was a kid that looked like a chicken. Like he literally could have chicken dna like infused with human dna. Idk if that makes sense, but that’s what he looked like. -We won the championship. I remember Mr. Mendez, who had been a coach last year, said to me and another teammate in our class (he was a math teacher) after we had won the championship, “Wasn’t it easier though this year with the competition?”. And yes, it was, he wasn’t wrong. The team that we had lost to the year before was a really good team, but their school now had changed their jr. high football program to tackle, so they weren’t around anymore. I feel like I’ve written enough for this post. I’ll have to talk about high school football in it’s own post another time. Thanks for reading.

#glue #island sweet skunk #i actually did a post

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allthefilmsiveseenforfree · 5 years

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Cruel Intentions

Cruel Intentions was the most forbidden movie my 11-year-old brain could possibly imagine. 1) it was all about sex 2) it starred teenagers and 3) those teenagers’ motivations were just right there in the title. I didn’t see it in full until I was 25 years old. It was re-released for its 20-year-anniversary and I was curious to see how well it held up, both as an artifact of the 90s and as relevant to today. Does it live up to the dark, sticky legacy my 11-year-old self could have imagined? Well...

I hate to say it but...no? The half that has aged fine has aged fine. No real additional layers of meaning or transformative commentary in the past 20 years have been added. But the half that has aged poorly has aged really fucking poorly. While there are moments of truly inspiring cinema to be found here, this sordid tale of high school seniors betraying and fucking each other has no real central hero or villain to root for or against, which makes it kind of a convoluted mess.

Quick plot summary for the uninitiated. It’s summertime for rich assholes in New York City, and Sebastian (Ryan Phillipe) makes a bet with his stepsister Kathryn (Sarah Michelle Gellar, relishing every minute) that he can get the new student starting at school, self-avowed virgin and all around good person Annette (Reese Witherspoon), to sleep with him before the semester starts. But uh-oh, over the course of his deception, he falls in love with Annette for real and can’t deflower her. Until he does anyway? But it’s for love. And he’s still kind of an asshole and terrible person. And then he dies and everyone finds out what a bitch Kathryn is and The Verve makes $20 million because everyone’s new favorite song is “Bittersweet Symphony.”

Some thoughts:

As an artifact of the 90s, you can’t get much better than this. The tiniest sunglasses that do NOTHING! The pastels! The sheer blouses over spaghetti strap tank tops! Even this font in the credits looks 90s. The nostalgia is THICK with this one.

And this soundtrack is excellent through and through. *puts on repeat on Spotify*

What happened to Sean Patrick Thomas? Between this and Save the Last Dance, he was my ultimate ~artistic~ dreamboat guy of 1999. I just saw him in The Curse of La Llorona where he was woefully underused. I need a Sean Patrick Thomas renaissance, stat.

Oh shit, and Tara Reid! Oh what a terrible crier she is here. But I suppose that’s to be expected with her awful mother who is a psychologist and slut-shaming her own daughter when she knows what an asshole Sebastian is.

Sebastian is so insufferably full of himself that it’s frankly nauseating BUT I will say, watching him make fun of Christine Baranski is pretty funny.

Sarah Michelle Gellar is honestly the most flawless and iconic part of this movie because it’s clear she’s having so. much. fun.

It’s confusing when every film and tv show uses 20-something actors to play teens but if they’re starting school in the fall that means Sebastian and Katherine both are maximum 17? And he’s meant to have slept with this many girls already? Bullshit. Have you met 17-year-olds? Especially before Instagram and YouTube were a thing? Give me a break.

Way to throw around a shitton of gay slurs, wowie wow 1999 how I did not miss that. Plus the whole “closeted gay guy has Barbara Streisand cds” thing...god I’m glad we’ve moved past that, not because the joke is offensive, but because it’s just about as funny as saying “Women like cats.” It’s not even a punchline, that’s just you saying a sentence.

I literally can’t believe we’re supposed to root for Sebastian at any point in this movie when he made a bet in order to buttfuck his stepsister.

Selma Blair is overacting like hell in every scene she’s in, but she’s having nearly as much fun as SMG, so I’ll allow it.

And even though I’m obviously so into the #iconic scene giffed above, the way two girls kissing is filmed makes it seem like THE most voyeuristic, salacious thing which is pretty gross.

Why would you put perfume on before you get into a pool, Annette??

SMG’s monologue about unfair pressure for girls is LEGIT. This is probably the only scene in the movie, where she describes how much pressure she’s under to be the perfect little lady even though she’s smart and driven and actually likes sex, that has aged really well and feels very relevant to today.

Um...did Sebastian just get a girl drunk and commit sexual assault? Yeah, that really cancels out SMG’s female empowerment monologue up above like what the snail-sucking FUCK.

The line “But I have theater tickets!!” is the funniest goddamn thing in this movie.

Can we talk about how it makes no sense that Annette likes Sebastian at all? They have nothing in common, and he treats her like an idiot most of the time when he’s not gaslighting her SO HARD. Is it the mystery? Girl, buy yourself a Nancy Drew book, because he’s not fucking worth it.

Ok but “Colorblind” is still an amazing song, damn. And the lighting in this love scene between Annette and Sebastian is incredible. But why are they so sweaty when they’re doing it? And again, why is she into him in the first place???

I can’t believe Sebastian thinks giving Annette the journal will solve things. Who reads this and says “yeah this guy gets a pass”???

Who is this person inciting a riot at a funeral?

I love that we realize what everyone is reading when people start looking at Kathryn and doing the slow head shakes. And why should we be happy about Kathryn’s comeuppance when Sebastian never really proved that he had changed and did all this fucked up stuff too?

I don’t think I realized how nonsensical this movie was in its goal of being ~scandalous~. I feel like I have whiplash between one scene and the next. You hate Sebastian, then he’s kinda dreamy, then he’s a rapist, then we’re meant to sympathize with him because he laughed ONE TIME? Each individual scene is good, but all together they make no real sense. Still a banging soundtrack tho.

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

#119in2019 #cruel intentions #cruel intentions review #ryan phillipe #sarah michelle gellar #reese witherspoon #selma blair #sean patrick thomas #tara reid #christine baranski #movie reviews #film reviews

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jewishlensnart · 5 years

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So it’s the holiday season, which in a lot of households means presents. You know who has more merch than almost any other Flash villain (1. being Reverse Flash as of my last count)? Captain Cold!

Have a Len lover in your life? Need to give your family gift ideas? Peep this list, y’all!

I used to own...basically everything with Len on it. I had the largest Flash collection in the southern US until about 3 years ago, when I sold the vast majority of it, and gave away even more. These reviews come from in-hand experience. Let’s start with the Original Lad:

DC Direct Captain Cold

Holy macaroni, was this figure terrible. Yes it was comic-accurate at the time, but you could not pose it, you could not keep it standing, and the face when you removed the glasses? Nightmare fuel. Still, it was a figure from 2001, and they really were doing their best, so I’d have to rate this guy a 2 out of 5.

These next two came out around roughly the same time, but could not be more different in quality. First up, DC Direct Justice Captain Cold

Strictly speaking, this figure was beautiful. Yeah it was in the hyper-realistic style of Alex Ross, who I’ve never been a fan of, but it was toned down in a way that made it less uncanny valley. The figure had stubble painted on, and if you removed the hood (which you technically could but shouldn’t), he had hair under there! But still, this was a DC Direct figure from 2008, so it had all the same flaws that a figure from that time period tended to have: absolutely a bitch to pose, hard to keep upright without the base (I let mine lean against the wall whenever I needed the base for even more precarious figures), joints prone to snapping if you worked him too hard. Still, by far my favorite of the DC Direct/Collectibles Len figures, if not my favorite full-size figure. 4.5 of 5.

Meanwhile in big box stores across the nation, DC Universe Classics was releasing their best wave yet, wave 7. Man, I had that whole thing aside from Aquaman; Big Barda, Flash, Kid Flash, Blue Beetle, Booster Gold, and of course, Captain Cold

This is the ugliest Len figure. Hands down, the least visually appealing. Which is a shame, because it’s also one of the best! Completely comic accurate until you hit the upper torso/head area, a ridiculous amount of articulation, with the single best cold gun of any of these figures...but jfc that expression. The weird poncho/hood always bothered me too, because while it was almost comic accurate, something just threw it off the track and made it look more ridiculous than cool. 3.5 out of 5.

After the New 52 hit, DC Collectibles released 2 Captain Cold figures in rapid succession, one that was packaged alone, and one that came as part of a 7-figure set

Can you spot the differences? There’s just one: the Len from the 7-figure set is in a dark blue suit, and doesn’t come with the ice mace and ice dagger. Like all DC Direct figures before them, these DC Collectibles figures are pretty to look at, but offer very little in the way of articulation. They could be hard to keep upright, which was annoying, as neither came with a stand, and do not try to take off the hood. Nothing under there. Still, they were very pretty depictions of a popular redesign, so I feel alright giving these guys a 3 of 5.

DC Collectibles spat out a final Len figure for the CWverse line back in 2015

As a big fan of Wentworth Miller and his face, I feel this figure could have been better. I mean, I’ve seen Arrowverse figures that are spot on, and this one just is not. Maybe it’s because the goggles obscure a good portion of the face, I don’t know. That being said, I love this figure, and it’s actually one I re-bought at a convention recently, along with the Heatwave figure from the same line, that hadn’t been released when I’d started selling off all of my toys. The costume is show-accurate, the figure comes with an extra set of hands, and the gun is just really cool. This is a solid 4 of 5 figure.

These next toys aren’t action figures per say, as they don’t do much in the way of action, but they’re cute and I like them, for the most part.

Funko took over the market and the world back in 2010 when it first introduced the Pop Vinyl figures, but it took a hit TV show to get Flash villains other than the Reverse Flash into production. There are 3 Captain Cold Funko products currently out, the two Pop Vinyls and a Re-Action figure

Now, I love the first Pop Vinyl. The round, lifeless black eyes of the Pops have freaked me out for a long time, but with Len in his sweet goggles, this Pop is perfect for me. I actually have him on a shelf in my closet. The variant...look, I like how they included the actual real-life hairline Wentworth Miller has, but those creepy eyes just kill it for me. The Re-Action figure, by the way, is garbage. They’re supposed to be based on the lines of toys that came out back in the 80s, but all that means to me is little to no articulation, weird molds that look nothing like the character they’re supposed to be, and few if any accessories. Why is he wearing a tie??? Just. The worst. 5 of 5 for Pop 1, 3 of 5 for Pop 2, and 1 of 5 for the Re-Action figure.

There are a bunch of figures that came out before Funko’s reign that have little to no articulation, and here they are:

Action League Citizen Cold, from the Batman: The Brave and the Bold line

I love a good boy??? 5 of 5, absolutely perfect. No you can’t pose him, but he already comes in a dynamic, interesting pose. This is my absolute favorite of all the non-poseable figures, and I miss mine all the time.

Imaginext, a line of toys for very young superhero fans, made a New 52 Captain Cold a few years back

Honestly, Imaginext toys are ridiculous, and I love every single one of them. They’re great toys for little kids, and yeah, Len is completely bald underneath that hoodie and ice gun backpack, but he has a snowball cannon to compensate with, so who’s the real loser?! 5 of 5, beautiful.

Did you kno w that back in 2011, McDonalds put out a line of Happy Meal Young Justice toys featuring Captain Cold??? Did you want to know? Too bad, you know now.

My dad’s dog chewed up his ice projectile, rendering the actual immobile figure completely useless...but I still really like it??? Like, it’s a toy that came with food that I sweet-talked the counter guy into giving me. It’s a worthless little nothing of a toy...but I still like it. 3 of 5.

Pocket Heroes were a weird little line of 3-inch figures that came in two-packs. One of those packs contained Flash and Captain Cold

You can basically only move their arms and legs, and while this figure comes with a cold gun and a remarkably ripped set of abs and pecs, the design never really appealed to me. 2.5 out of 5.

I collected MiniMates once upon a time. 2.5 inch figures that were basically fancy LEGOs? Deal me in! ViniMates are uh. Not that.

ViniMates are 6-inch figures and I Do Not Like Them. Being made of vinyl makes them almost completely free of articulation, so the post you get them in is the one they stay in. Also, this one is based on the show-interpretation of Len and it seems to be smoldering at me. Don’t like that. 1 out of 5.

On the other end of the vinyl spectrum, the Mini-Mezitz line from Mezco is simply delightful.

Mini-Mezitz were 2-inch figures with articulation in their arms, legs, and neck joints. I love mine, and they have been hanging out on the top of my bookcase for like 7 years now. 4 out of 5, absolutely weird-dorable.

Eaglemoss once put my blog on the front page of their website without telling me, back when I was actively snapping pictures of my Flash collection. The Eaglemoss lead figures, once you get past the fact that yes, these dudes are made of painted lead so maybe handle with care, are a good staple in any collection. Captain Cold got two

Both Eaglemoss figures came with information booklets about Captain Cold, though the chess piece New 52 version focused almost solely on his New 52 history. They’re both very detailed, and I really like them. 3.5 out of 5.

I never watched Thomas the Tank Engine as a kid...but I saw this weirdass thing in a HomeGoods one day and just kinda. Stopped and stared.

He’s a train. Len is a train now. Don’t like it. 1 out of 5.

So there’s this company called Kotobukiya. They’re most famous for their bishoujo statues, but they make guys too. I had the Flash Kotobukiya statue, back in the day. I was not collecting Flash stuff when they made a Captain Cold one.

I’m actually apparently getting this as a gift from my boyfriend for Hanukkah. He finally got access to my wishlist. This statue is based on the Francis Manapul New 52 redesign, and it is what we call Big Sexy. Frankly, I give it a 5 out of 5.

No offense to Wentworth Miller, but my favorite Captain Cold TV appearance is always going to be his role in the JLU episode, Flash and Substance.

The JLU figures were all godawful, but hell if we as a fandom didn’t gobble them up back in the day. I had all the available Rogues, Len, Heatwave, Captain Boomerang, Weather Wizard, “Justice Lords Flash” (who was really just Reverse Flash, let’s be real), Mirror Master...it’s the most complete set of Rogues you can get, actually. But they were terrible figures; the Dorito-like shape of the shoulder to waist ratio combined with the narrow feet of the figure guaranteed that these toys would not stay upright without a stand. They had no articulation, and most came without weapons. But you could get three-packs of them in Target for like $12, and they were designed with children in mind, so. 3.5 out of 5, because frankly, the Timmverse designs will always tug at my nostalgia strings.

Captain Cold is available in two official LEGO forms

The first is from the Mighty Macros line, and features Len vs the Flash in a racecar vs snowmobile race. It’s very cute and easy to build. The second is the more challenging Gorilla Grodd Goes Bananas set, which also includes Flash, Grodd, and strangely enough, Batman and Wonder Woman. I never owned that set, and it’s pretty hard to find these days, regularly running $80 and up. Both sets are a 5 out of 5, though, because LEGO does not mess around when it comes to quality fun.

I saved my favorites for last. In the 70s, there was a line of toys called MEGOs, which were plastic-bodied toys with cloth suits. Mattel, and later the Figures Toy Company, would both do their own versions of Captain Cold

The first version, by Mattel, is amazing. Mine is literally sitting next to me as I type this. I took him to Universal with me when I won a trip to Halloween Horror Nights back in 2015, I take him to the movies with me when I don’t have anyone else to go with, he’s my little buddy. My dad’s dog, again, chewed his left arm completely off at one point, but I don’t care. I love him. As for the Figures Toys version, I actually won a fairly cheap auction for him earlier this week, so we shall see! I don’t know if I like how he has the whole “Super Friends hypothermia Len” look going on, but I do like how his costume isn’t just cheap, tearable vinyl. We shall see what’s under that hood soon. I give the Mattel one a 5 out of 5 for the years of joy he’s given me. The Figures Toys one is pending, but I’m gonna give a tentative 4 out of 5, because it really does look nice.

You could get Len in other forms, like as a game piece in the Heroclix and Dice Masters games, as a paintable figure for a Batman tabletop roleplaying game, as trading cards, as a set of guitar picks, as a card holder, as a very hard to find but still lovely statue from DC Direct, in official pin form from Funko and Fansets, on an old 7-Eleven cup, and of course, in the pages of the comics...but I’ve always liked toys, so that’s what I decided to go over. Hope y’all enjoyed this, and maybe got some ideas for your own collections.

#Len Snart #Captain Cold #Flash Rogues #toys #long post #image heavy

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aphrite-writingonly · 5 years

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Grimm Brother’s Fairy Tales Maybe Part 1?

Warnings: Major Character Death, Car Accidents, Depressive thoughts, major angst (please tell me in there are any more!)

I’m getting really dark with this one, so please be careful, and don’t read if you can’t handle this kind of stuff

“Patton! Come on! We’re gonna be late!” Roman Heart yelled again. This is the fourth time he’s called his older brother to come downstairs, and if Patton didn’t hurry up soon, they were going to be late.

“Coming!” Patton yelled back, and if the slightly muffled sound didn’t give it away, Roman would have thought he actually meant it this time. However, the door was still shut to their shared bedroom, and Roman was getting impatient.

“You’ve said that 4 times, now! Get down here or I’m dragging you down here myself!” Roman yelled back, already walking up the stairs. However, when he got up there, he saw what had kept his brother so long.

At birth, every child is given a stone at birth. Once it touches the newborns hand, it turns to a specific color. It was supposed to glow brighter the closer you got to your soulmate, and here Patton was, putting his in the bottom-most locked drawer of his dresser.

“I still don’t understand why you do this. You could be missing your chance to find your soulmate.” Roman said. They had already talked about this multiple times, and yet Patton had still not given him the answer. He just wanted his brother to be happy.

“I just don’t want Virgil to feel lonely.” Patton replied, finally putting the last of the things in the drawer, shutting and locking it. “I want to find them, too. Honestly, but I just feel bad for the poor kiddo, and with Logan having you as a soulmate, he’s as scared and alone as ever, even with Thomas not finding his, either.”

Virgil and Logan Wright, along with Thomas Foster were their friends. When they met in high school, Virgil, although he didn’t openly show it, has his stone on him at all times. However, during Sophomore year, Virgil and Logan’s mom died, leaving their father, who died a week later due to his soulmate dying. Their grandmother was given custody over them, and however hard they tried, they could not get Virgil to even remotely believe in good endings again.

“Okay,” Roman replied, giving up. He knew Patton was like a father figure to Virgil ever since his parents died, and Patton just wanted everyone to be happy, even if that meant taking away his own happiness. “Let’s go.”

When They Go To A Coffee Shop Because Coffee is Boss and That’s Where They Meet Up

Also A P.O.V Change To The Little Puffball (Patton)

We had just got to the coffee shop, and we spotted everyone already there.

Logan was sitting on one of the tables outside a book open, and by the looks of it, he was almost halfway through it. He wore a crisp, black polo with a blue and black, and tan pants. His light brown hair kept clean looking as always.

Virgil was in the seat on the right of him, about halfway asleep, leaning on Logan’s shoulder holding a cup of what Patton could only guess was coffee. He wore a purple shirt under his large hoodie, and Patton wondered how he wasn’t sweltering. He also wore black, ripped jeans and his darker brown hair fell over his eyes.

Thomas, on the other hand, was standing against the building. His phone was out, and he looked like he was texting someone. He wore a gray shirt that had a big black paw print on the front, a pair of dark blue jeans, and his medium brown hair kept out of his eyes, but other than that was a bit of a mess.When he spotted Patton and Roman, he put his phone in his back pocket and waved them over.

“Where have you guys been!? We’ve been waiting for sooo long!” Thomas whined, sounding like a whining child.

Thomas’ voice seemed to pull Logan out of his book as he put the bookmark he had in the book and set it down. The movement jostled Virgil a little, and the hoodie-clad male whined and raised his head up from Logan’s shoulder. All Logan did was take the cup out of Virgil’s hands and put a hand in his hair, stroking it in calculated movements. Virgil quieted down after a few moments and laid his head back down on his brother’s shoulder. (Great… Now I don’t know what to do….)

“What’s up with him?” Roman asked, worry in his voice.

“Didn’t get sleep again. Woke up at 6:00 a.m. to Virgil still laying wide awake in his bed,” Logan replied. This often happened now, as Virgil often worried himself enough that he couldn’t go to bed no matter what anyone did.

“Well, I’m thirsty. You guys want anything else?” Roman asked, dragging the attention away from Virgil because he knew Virgil hated any attention on him.

Roman went in as no one wanted anything, and everyone went back to what they were doing. Patton grabbed the empty seat next to Virgil and looked at the younger male in worry. Logan resumed reading his book, his hand never leaving his younger brother’s hair.

Little Time Skip Brought To You By My Inability To Create Good Sentences At The Moment

Also A Little P.O.V change to Virgil

They were getting ready to leave the little coffee shop as all of them had school and Roman, Thomas and Patton hadn’t finished their homework as school was in the morning (Logan always does the homework days before and, when Virgil can’t sleep, he does his homework as a distraction).

There was a little crosswalk they had to cross. It wasn’t a huge intersection, but there was the occasional car that would pass by.

Unfortunately, that’s what happened.

Virgil was crossing it along with the others, Logan right beside him. By the time he realized Logan had walked faster and was yelling at him to do the same, it was too late. Even if he wanted to, his sleep-deprived body just couldn’t go any faster. Virgil just tried to go faster, mentally bracing himself for the impact.

Suddenly, he felt something on his back that, to this day, he could have sworn was a hand pushing him out of the way. Luckily, the only part that got him was part of his foot under part of the tire. Unluckily, due to the unexpected force against him, had hit his head on the concrete before his body had time to figure out what was going on and react. The last thing he heard was screaming, a car screeching, a phone and footsteps. There was a sharp pain in his chest, then black

Time Skip Instead of P.O.V Change Because This Story Is Supposed To Make You Suffer (whoops)

The first thing Virgil noticed when he woke up, was that it was bright and very loud. When he got over that initial shock, he tried to open his eyes, he immediately stopped as it was even brighter than it was now.

“Roman. I think he is waking up. Turn down the lights. He won’t be used to them yet.” Was that Logan. Why were Logan and Roman here, and where was Patton? He heard an audible click, then the room became darker, which just seemed to be making the beeping louder.

“Are you sure? He doesn’t seem to be doing anything. Hey, Virgil. If you can hear us, I wouldn’t mind to see those eyes of yours.” That was definitely Roman. Deciding to listen to his advice, he opened his eyes slowly, being greeted by white walls, dimed by the lights being off.

“Hello, Virgil. It’s nice to see you again. How are you feeling?” Logan asked. Now that his eyes were open he could see that Logan was to the right of him, standing with his back against the wall. He would looked completely professional with his usual clothes, though Virgil could see the slight red in his brothers eyes that was the tell-tale sign that older had been crying recently.

Roman was on one of the hospital couches on his right. He wore a red tank top and a pair of dark blue jeans. Virgil would have thought that nothing was wrong except the prince’s usually pristine hair was messed up, as if a hand had ran through it more than once, which was Roman’s usual sign that something was wrong.

“Virgil? Are you okay? Do you need me to call a nurse?” Roman asked , worry in his voice. Virgil must have taken longer to respond than he thought.

“No. I’m good. Just a bit of pain in my leg and head.” Virgil replied, though the others didn’t look any less worried than they had been. Speaking of others, where was Patton?

“I’m gonna call a nurse. They probably want to know you are awake.” Logan said. He pressed the call button and waited. There was an uncomfortable silence hanging around all of them. Why did something seem wrong?

Time Skip Brought To You By An Answer To Most Your Questions Being Answered And Sadness Ensues

Virgil had been in the hospital for about a month now. Thomas had stopped by a couple times, but his teachers gave way more homework than Roman’s and Logan’s, so he was usually at home.

In all that time, though, he hadn’t seen Patton.. Everytime Virgil tried to ask them, someone would interrupt what he was saying. It was like the world didn’t want him to know what happened to his best friend.

He vowed to himself that he was gonna ask them now. They were both in his hospital room at about 8 at night. The nurse wasn’t gonna check up on him in about an hour, so now was as best of a time as ever.

“Hey guys, I’ve gotta question. What happened to Patton? He hasn’t appeared since the car came, and I didn’t think I did anything wrong. Did I?” Virgil asked. As soon as he finished, he thought about it. Did he do something wrong? Did Patton hate him and that was why he didn’t see him? If so, what had he done?

“N-no. You d-didn’t do an-nything wrong. H-he, uh. He isn’t here.” Roman’s voice interrupted his thoughts immediately. Roman’s voice was raw, and when Virgil looked over to him, he was crying.

“Where is he? What happened?” Virgil asked, worry in his voice. Was Patton hurt? Was he in trouble? Did someone kidnap him?

“H-he’s dead, Virgil.” Logan’s words pierced through his heart. Patton was dead? No. No. That couldn’t happen. He, he couldn’t be. There was no way. In a couple seconds, they would say that they were lying, and Patton was fine and well. He waited, and waited, but they didn’t say anything, gauging his reaction.

“You’re kidding right? He, he can’t be. He just-can-n’t!” Virgil said through his sobs. Instantly, Roman and Logan moved over to him. Logan picked up his younger brother, placing him in his lap, letting him hear his heartbeat. Roman sat on his left, running his hand through his hair, hopping to soothe the younger.

It was a couple of minutes before Virgil could even try to breath, his thoughts swirled in his head. How had it happen? When had this happened? Why didn’t he ask sooner? Could he have changed something? That last question put a pang through his heart. Could he have done something? He would have traded his life for Patton’s in a second.

After a good few minutes, he had stopped crying, but had started feeling tired. Roman’s fingers through his hair and Logan’s gentle rocking soothing him immensely. He knew he had to tell them before they asked. Before they even thought to ask, but to say it… To say it made his heart break.

However, as Virgil closed his eyes, he said something he never thought he would say.

“My soulmate was Patton.”

To be continued…

If you wish…

Ask if you would like me to continue (it will be better if I do) or want to be tagged in any of my stories!

2030 words

#major character death #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #briefly mentioned moxiety #logince #depressive thoughts #car accident #soulmate #soulmate stones #soul mate #i'm sorry #author might be sleep deprived #angst #author is sleep deprived #whoops #author might be sorry

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