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#and maybe thinking about it more makes it all unbearable
melodic-haze · 2 days
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alright think about this jealous sex with arlecchino. Maybe she’s been hanging out with columbina too much.
☆ — DEMO TRACK: sub!Arlecchino x dom!Reader
☆ — TYPE: NSFW
☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: Thr briefest mention of petplay, rough sex ig, that's basically it 🤷‍♀️
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Ohhhhmygod the way Arlecchino talks of her so very fondly too like it's VERY easy to be jealous I think. Like I'm not really a jealous or a possessive person but even then I'd give like a slight side eye
The Knave was just spending a BIT too much time with Columbina for your tastes. You ask if you could hang out w her, she tells you she has a prior engagement with the other Harbinger. You go to talk to her, she's already talking with Damselette. Frankly, she's acc taking the piss❗️❗️❗️
It just. Drives you up the FUCKING WALL but yk. "Do unto others what you want done to you" or smth like that idk the saying
"I-- I'm going to--"
"You are not doing anything unless I tell you to."
You feel her hands grip onto your hair as you practically abused her cunt with your fingers. If you weren't pinning her to the wall and holding her up, you were sure that as formidable as she was, her legs would've buckled down from the overwhelming stimulation and the lack of release whenever she reached her very peak.
(With the strength of her grip, youu also thanked archons above that despite everything, she was careful enough to not claw at your scalp. That wasn't the most important thing right now, though.)
"You know," you idly mused—taunted, even—as you curled your digits within her, "we could've been doing something better. We could've been having tea, tending to your children, having so much more fun than this. And yet what do you do?"
You pulled your fingers away, slick glistening and forming a faintly connecting line before snapping, and you hear a desperate whimper that you pointedly ignore, "You pass all that up for your fellow Harbinger."
"But she can't make you feel good like I do, can she?" You slapped her thigh harshly, to which you ignore her surprised gasp too—you knew she could handle much more anyway, "Nobody else can have you all pliant and breathless like this. Not her, not anyone."
Arlecchino actually makes a move to nod instead of standing there all dumb, "Only.. Only for you.. my love, I--"
"Only for me?"
"Yes..!"
Answering like an over-eager dog. Actually hilarious.
You stand up and press your fingers harshly inside of her, and just when she feels utter delight in tbe thought of you finally granting mercy on a sinner such as her?
"Move."
"..What?"
"You heard me, my love," the affectionate pet name overshadowed by your mocking tone, "if you want to get off, then move. Surely you can manage such a simple task, right?"
It's unsaid that you want her to move on her own to show her dedication to you...
But either she caught on or she was desperate for the feeling of you inside her, for she leaned her head and started to grind her pussy onto your offered hand.
Only you were allowed to command her like this.
Need to constantly alternate between edging her and overstimming her, both to such UNBEARABLE levels bc SURELY she can handle it 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
Absolutely use her in ANY way you could think of; by this point she's a hole for you to use and vent your jealousy to, all while repeating some kinda mantra about how Columbina could never do the things you do to her
Remind her that only YOU could make her feel the things she does, remind her that only YOU could have her bend to your will, both literally and metaphorically. Doesn't matter to you how powerful she is!! Could be an eldrich horror and you don't gaf
At the end of the day, you have utterly corrupted her—trained her—in the ways that she (or anyone) had never imagined. You've absolutely ruined her for everyone else
You just. Need to remind her with a LOT of torture 🥰 break this supposed monster all over again, make her remember just who, exactly, tamed her 🥰🥰🥰
Whether it's by stuffing her with so many toys all in the lowest settings or absolutely filling her up over and over and over and OVER until all traces of the angel-like Harbinger is completely fucked out of her mind 🫶🫶🫶🫶
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mustainegf · 1 day
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I NEED more Kirk smut on this app lol. Can you do a fic with 88 Kirk where he’s trying to talk to you and James about this new horror movie that came out but you’re distracted because he’s not wearing a shirt or something? Idk this might be so stupid lol
Mmmmm Kirk mmmmm
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The guys had just wrapped up another successful show, and we were all relaxing At james’ Place.
Kirk was animatedly talking to James about this new horror movie that had just come out. Something called Child’s Play.
He had been dying to see it, and now that he had, he couldn’t stop raving about it. He was such a dork, but he was my cute dork.
His dark, curly hair was wild and untamed, falling into his eyes as he gestured passionately. But it wasn’t his hair that had my attention.
Kirk had stripped off his tank when we walked into the house, complaining about how hot it was. Now, he sat on the edge of the couch, his lean torso glistened slightly with a thin sheen of sweat. His light muscles flexed with every movement, and I found myself unable to look away.
I tried to focus on the conversation, but my eyes kept drifting back to Kirk. Every now and then, he would run a hand through his hair, the muscles in his arm tending. He was mesmerizing.
“Hey, you okay?” James’s voice broke through my haze, and I realized he was looking at me with a knowing smirk.
“Uh, yeah, I’m fine,” I stammered, feeling my cheeks flush. I glanced at Kirk, and to my embarrassment, he had noticed too. He was grinning, a playful glint in his eyes.
“Seems like someone’s a little distracted,” he teased, his voice soft and affectionate.
I bit my lip, unable to deny it. “Maybe a little.”
Kirk chuckled, his laughter sending a buzz down my back.
He turned back to James, finishing his story about the movie, but I could see the way his eyes flickered back to me, his grin never fading.
When the conversation finally wrapped up, Kirk stood and stretched. “I think I’m gonna grab a drink,” he said casually. “Want to join me?”
I nodded, trying to keep my cool as I followed him. As soon as we were out of sight, he grabbed my hand and pulled me into a small, dimly lit room.
Before I could say anything, his lips were on mine, hot and urgent.
“You’ve been driving me crazy,” he murmured against my lips, his hands sliding down to grip my hips. “Do you have any idea how hard it was to finish that conversation?”
I giggled, threading my fingers through his hair. “You weren’t exactly making it easy for me either.”
He smiled, his eyes darkening with desire. “Good.”
His hands were everywhere, tugging at my clothes, and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.
He pushed me against the wall, his body pressing into mine, and I gasped at the contact.
“Kirk,” I breathed, my voice barely a whisper.
He pulled back just enough to look at me, his eyes filled with passion. “You’re so beautiful,” he said, his voice husky. “I can’t get enough of you.”
I smiled, my hands sliding down to undo his jeans. “I want you,” I whispered. “Now.”
He groaned, his hands gripping my hips as he helped me out of my clothes. Within moments, we were both naked, the heat between us almost unbearable.
His hands roamed my body, caressing and exploring, and I whimpered at his touch.
He kissed me again, his lips soft and demanding, and I could feel the hardness of his cock pressing against my thigh.
I reached down, wrapping my hand around him, and he moaned into my mouth.
“You’re so perfect,” he whispered, his voice strained. “James is gonna kill me.” He giggled.
I nodded, unable to speak as he lifted one of my legs, positioning himself at my entrance.
His cock stood in attention, already begging for me.
He was gentle, his eyes never leaving mine as he slowly pushed inside me.
I gasped, my head falling back against the wall as he filled me, stretching me in ways that were both painful and delicious.
“Are you okay, baby?” he asked, his voice filled with concern.
I nodded, my hands gripping his shoulders. “Yes,” I whispered. “Just… don’t stop.”
He smiled, his hands tightening on my hips as he began to move.
“You feel so good,” he murmured, his lips brushing against my ear. “So tight… so perfect.”
I moaned, my fingers digging into his skin. “Kirk… please…”
He understood, his pace quickening as he drove me closer to the edge.
His hands were everywhere, touching, teasing, whatever he could reach.
Kirk quickened his hips, breathing heavy as he smiled at me in the darkness. God he was too cute.
“Ahh, Kirk!” I yelped, a little louder than I should’ve. My whine earned a quick and gentle hand on my mouth, covering my noises.
The room began to fill with obscene wet sounds, and the raw smell of sex. I simply couldn’t get enough. How did I end up so lucky with him?
Kirk pulled his hand away from my lips, hushing me again as he kissed me. I buried my hands in his mess hair, pulling him to kiss me harder.
“Cum for me,” he whispered against my lips, his voice rough. “Baby, please.. Baby it’s so good...” he whined.
His words were all I needed to cum, and I cried out, my body trembling as the orgasm washed through me.
Kirk followed only moments later, his thrusts becoming sloppy as he buried himself deep inside me, his cum hot and sticky as he covered my insides.
We stayed like that for a moment, our bodies entwined, both of us breathless and shaking. He kissed me softly, his hands gentle as he caressed my skin.
“I love you, baby,” he whispered, his forehead resting against mine.
“I love you too, Kirk,” I replied, both of us giggling as we fell from our climaxes.
We cleaned up quickly, knowing we couldn’t stay hidden for too long. We dashed to dress ourselves and clean up the mess.
As we made our way back to the others, we couldn’t stop smiling, our secret making the night even more fun.
When we returned to the living room, James raised an eyebrow, a smirk on his face. “Everything okay?”
Kirk and I shared a look, both of us grinning. “Yeah,” Kirk said, his arm wrapping around my waist. “Everything’s perfect.”
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cozzzynook · 3 days
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regarding the latest post with bee and cliff being meg and op’s sparklings: what are their reactions to star being bee’s conjunx?
I imagine megs is gonna blow a fuse and immediately try something to make them split, cliff takes his sire’s anger as well but he’s vocal about it, op is trying to be civil here but has his own doubts. bee knew this was a mistake but bought star because it would eventually be known soon, meanwhile star has a smug smile and isn’t (not a lot anyway) phased by bee’s family. drift and ratchet don’t like it either, neither does their sparklings. but their sparklings are more accepting, since if bee likes this menace of a seeker maybe he’s not that bad. (they may or may not be right)
adore and love your writing 🫶🫶
😭 thank you!
Bee is 100% not ready to introduce his conjunx to his family.
Cliff is downright unbearable in his complaining and his sire is over the top literally shooting his canon at Starscream who is laughing and antagonizing the former war mech.
Optimus is no better because he does keep his conjunx from offlining Starscream but he does threaten him with a Spark scalpel curtsey of Ratchet who came to the family dinner with his conjunx and sparklings who brought their conjunxes and sparklings.
Cliff is conjunxed to Mirage who proved his love for Cliff already, so the mech is just sitting back watching everything unfold happy to not be the subject of his conjunxs creators ire.
Starscream is not an idiot.
He does not take Optimus’s threat lightly and he knows to fear that mech more than Megatron. He’s dealt with Megatron for thousands of years, he knows how to deal with him.
Its Drift and Ratchet along with Optimus that he fears.
He knows who Drift used to be and he knows Ratchet can and will take him apart piece by piece.
He has no intentions of hurting or leaving his little space bee but he does wish for this family dinner to be over with so they can go back to the peace and quiet of their home where he can spoil his little brat of a conjunx and enjoy his spoiling right back.
Starscream matches Cliff’s snide remarks right back and matches Ratchets glares with devious smirks while carefully taunting Optimus whenever he makes an underhanded remark and he matches Drifts weary glares with raised optic ridges.
By the end of dinner Bee has enough and lays in on his family for being so rude to Starscream.
“Carrier! You can’t say a word about my choice in conjunx when sire was a warlord!! Sire! You worked with him!!! You both committed war crimes! Uncle Drift you were a decepticon too at one point and Uncle Ratchet you conjunxed him when he was still a con! None of you have the right to judge so stop it! Or I won’t be coming back!”
“And cliff!”
Cliff was just staring with his mouth open since Bee so rarely yelled.
“Stop with the remarks! You hated it when sire and carrier treated Mirage like this! Don’t do it to me and my conjunx!”
Bee stands and yanks Starscream with him who looks shocked and follows Bee before holding him and lifting him up.
“While your family is quite rude to guests. They have a right to worry love.”
“Not you too.”
“I’m on your side always,” Starscream assured him, “but I don’t want to see you arguing with your family or on bad terms. Especially because of me.”
And Bee knew his love missed his trine even if they were simply far away back in Vos it sucked to be without your family close by. Especially since the trio were so close they practically lived with them.
“Lets head back home to Vos?”
And Starscream smiled a little at this, completely focused on Bee forgetting the others who saw Starscream in a different light.
“Only if you all reconcile,” he agreed kissing his yellow loves helm.
“I think we owe you an apology,” Optimus said after clearing his intake passage.
“Sorry Bee…screamer,” Cliff said still such a brat but at least he tried.
Ratchet was still bitter but he did huff out a gruff sorry followed by Drift’s apology.
Megatron had to be elbowed by Optimus and after a few kliks and a sigh he apologized.
Bee bunched up Starscreams dermas before his mate could make things worse.
“Thank you,” he smiled warmly, “i think we should go now. I’ll contact you guys later?”
With a sad nod his creators and split spark hugged him before seeing them off.
Dinner went well since no one was offlined but it was still a disaster.
Bee was wondering what they’d do if the two ever sparked.
He was not looking forward to that conversation.
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Text
🎬Total Drama Action🎬
Episode 12: "The Aftermath II"
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"You think Julia might be looking at the stars now?" - 🏒
"You can do better than that." - 🏹
I wanna get this out before I go on a break again.
-----
Context Below: Time to be cringe once again :D
Just to clear things up, No Axel and Bowie aren’t romantically involved with Wayne here. There also isn’t any love triangle happening or at least the seeds for it being planted.
Why did I use Axel exactly?
* The only other option left is Millie. MK, Nichelle, and Lauren are on the other team. While Emma and Priya are out of the game at this point.
* I haven't used her that much yet.
I apologize for any grammatical mistake or typo that I might've made below, and if this isn't worded that well.
—--
The cast (especially Bowie) simply isn’t fond of Wayne and Julia’s budding relationship mostly due to how unbearable the latter was to be with when they got to stay with her last season at the resort as she got out of the game midway. (late pre-merge)
Since Julia got kicked off very early this time in a double elimination (along with Chase) for simpky not being liked, the cast thought that this was the perfect time to warn Wayne about being with her as he wasn’t able to witness exactly how she was at playa for making a considerably deep run last season.
Bowie coming from a place of concern as the boyfriend of Raj, who is Wayne’s best friend, orchestrates a plan on how they could get him to lose interest in her as he doesn't want him to go through any potential mistreatment from her like they did.
Normally, Bowie doesn't meddle with the relationships of other people nless he can get something out of it or it concerns someone he has connections with.
and maybe the thought of potentially having to attend double dates with the person he hates the most was enough for him to hurl.
—--
Now come the images. As Wayne was thinking about Julia, Axel was simply not having it anymore. As his friend and the only person left who has the guts to tell him directly what the cast thought of her, told him that a guy as nice as him shouldn’t waste his time on someone like her and he deserves someone much nicer. (Much like in canon, Wayne is well liked while Julia is despised so that greatly affects how they see the pair in this AU.)
Wayne retorts that there’s something more to her that they just haven't seen yet. (Hence the Basic Straining edits)
The second image is Julia finally catching onto what the cast was trying to do, which also sets up her more ruthless approach to the game and to the rest of the cast when she returns.
And the final image is Bowie realising what he’s done after witnessing Julia storming off.
Okay that'll be all. See you in a few weeks at the minimum👋
-----
Reference:
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cannibalclass · 2 days
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Do u write fics and if so could u write one between kate and Caitlin 😊
the way i absolutely do not write fics but i wrote one just for you...ask and you shall receive i guess!
friends or lovers, which will it be?
caitlin clark x kate martin
caitlin is frustrated and exhausted after a loss. kate tries to comfort her which just leads to a mini mental breakdown whoop whoop
word count: 1.5k
uhh lots of angst
Besides the court, there was no other place else Caitlin loved being in than in a bed. With the near-, forget it, straight up unbearable media circus following her every move since last season’s March Madness, that feeling had only intensified. There were also days where she just wanted a hug. Today was one of them. 
It wasn’t long before she’d heard a click at the door, followed by Kate walking in, hotel key in one hand and a box of chocolate chip cookies in the other.
“Hey,”, the dirty blonde greeted with a smile, before placing the box on the drawer next to Caitlin’s bed and hopping on her own. “I know how hard everything was today….I got your favorites.” 
Despite all the shit she’d been through today, Cait couldn’t help but smile and greet her back. Amidst all the media frenzy, Kate was the one person she could rely on to have her back. Since the europe trip, they’d grown closer and closer, they’d always say they were the bestest of friends and Kate seemed to think it too….but Caitlin wasn’t exactly sure if her feelings towards her were purely platonic anymore. 
Remote in hand already, Caitlin decided to channel surf. They only had a couple hours until they had to leave for their flight back to CHA Iowa anyway, and it wasn’t like they could do much else.
‘Iowa and Caitlin Clark lose in overtime loss to Ohio State, 100-92.’
The sentence stung like a bee. She’d put up 45 points and still lost the game. No one else on the team had more than 20. The loss wasn’t sweet, and neither were the comments her coaches had made after the game. “More,” they'd insist. “When the rest of the team can’t get it going, it’s up to you to step it up.” They couldn’t & wouldn’t say it directly, but even a 5 year-old could read between the lines and know what they were really implying. The exact same suggestions they had made in the NC State blowout loss the season prior. 
‘Star player Caitlin Clark collides with fans following a court storm, and social media is DIVIDED over whether she flopped or whether it was truly an accident’
To make matters worse, she had just happened to collide with a fan while storming the court. It was just so sudden. Caitlin had just been so absentminded walking off the court, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible, that she didn’t even register the collision before she hit the floor. Droves of security & her teammates had come over, all with concerned looks on their faces. They couldn’t afford to lose the best player in the game, after all.
The concerned yet angry look on Kate’s face had been something Caitlin had never really witnessed before, or at least really paid attention to. Kate was the pacifier, the peace-maker of the team, it was her who would be the one to calm her down when she was acting up due to a mistake or a bad call. It felt weird, the roles being reversed. There were maybe three or four times she had really gotten angry like that around Caitlin, and yet when she had come across a clip of Kate as Caitlin was being carried off…the look of unabashed anger on her face made a certain feeling swell below her belly button. Something about the same girl who she would fight tooth and nail for unleash a rarely seen side over her almost made her feel…pride? 
“They’ve never been serious haven’t they,” Kate murmured to herself. Caitlin could hear it anyway, and quickly changed the channel before eventually turning it off. She had no idea why she’d left that on for that long, morbid curiosity was really a disease. 
“Why the fuck would you purposefully run into a fan like that? What would you gain from that? I swear….”
There’s that Kate again. Shades of the beast unleashed earlier in the day after the collision. Jada had joked in the locker room that they might have had to block her eyesight & cover her ears anytime anything regarding the incident came up before she turned into ‘Katezilla’. Caitlin would be lying if she said she didn’t find that hilarious. 
Kate glanced at her roommate with a look of worry on her face. She knew Caitlin was the type to internalize and blame herself in losses, even in games where she was the only one stepping up like today. Their coaches certainly didn’t help with that. Add on the media circus & pressure around her, Kate was almost certain that one of these days she was going to break. She was determined to not let that happen anytime soon. 
Caitlin had the hood of her sweatshirt up as she felt that all too familiar feeling start to bubble up. “Fuck.”, she muttered under her breath. Crying sessions weren’t unfamiliar territory for her, but it was really when her roommates were out of sight that she would let it all out. Kate was the last person she wanted to cry in front of, even though she knew her better than anyone else sans maybe her family did. 
Eventually, Kate had hopped out of her bed and into Caitlin’s. Seeing her favorite person in the world in such a distressed state made her want to start crying, too. The same girl whose 2nd favorite thing behind basketball was chocolate chip cookies, the same girl who would rush to pet a dog anytime she would come across one somewhere and talk to it like it was her own…it absolutely broke her heart. Kate leaned over and gave her a warm embrace, patting her head.
 “Cait…I’m right here, okay? I’m always here. You know that, right?”
And that’s all it took.
Caitlin’s head fell into the crook of Kate’s neck as she fell into her embrace, muffled yet loud sobs coming escaping her mouth.  She couldn’t hold it back anymore. This loss in particular felt so much worse than the Kansas State loss months prior. They were so close and Caitlin had truly tried her best and they still couldn’t pull it off. 
“Hey, stop.” Kate sighed as she let out a sad smile. “If you cry, I’m gonna start crying too.” 
“Promise you won’t overthink this loss too much, for me. This isn’t on you, you tried your best. I mean 45….that’s insane.” She soothed, rubbing her hands up and down Caitlin’s back. By this point, the brunette had stopped the loud sobbing, solely because she didn’t want to see Kate cry. She had still let out a small whimper at the mention of the 45 points though.  “I could’ve done better. The whole team could’ve done better. Take it this way, we can only go up from here. And as for the collision…..” Kate started to trail before getting back on track. She knew it was more likely than not an accident and couldn’t fathom how anyone would think otherwise. A feeling most similar to disappointment & anger started to build up again before she calmed down…it had already been hours and what happened had already happened. There wasn’t anything she could do now but comfort her best friend.
Did that even accurately describe their relationship at the moment? Best friends? Because it sure as hell didn’t feel like it right now.
“Cait, I love you so much. I hope you know that.”
Still trapped in Kate’s embrace (though she wouldn’t have it any other way really), Caitlin wanted to flinch at those words. Not because she didn’t love her back, it was the opposite actually, but did Kate love Caitlin the way Caitlin loved Kate?  It wasn’t the first time Kate had said those 3 words to her and most certainly wouldn’t be the last. But everytime she would say it, the question of whether she meant it as a friend or something more would plague Caitlin’s mind for hours and lead her into an existential crisis. The fact that it would be a year since Kate had broken up with her long-term girlfriend in a couple months certainly didn’t help at all. 
“Love you too,” She responded with a small smile, before pulling away, wiping what was left of her tears and getting up off the bed. “We should probably get going.”
She wouldn’t show it, but that hug and pep talk was exactly what she needed right then and there. 
Growing up in what was probably the most traditional Midwest family ever, Caitlin didn’t think falling in love with anyone other than a handsome, tall guy was even an option. A quick look at her old notebooks would show several pages full of her name plus whoever was the guy crush of the month at the time with hearts around both. Hopefully get into the league, marry a guy with a huge wedding, have kids…that was always the plan. 
This feeling…of feeling something that’s not purely platonic about someone of the same-sex was completely foreign to her, and she’d be lying if she said the uncertainty of it all wasn’t slowly killing her inside.
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estapa-edwards · 2 days
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PROM - R. LEONARD
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paring: Ryan Leonard x reader
word count: 4.2k
requested? no
warnings: use of y/n.
*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨*
The sound of my alarm blaring at 6:30 AM dragged me out of a restless sleep. Prom was just around the corner, and the pressure was mounting. All my friends had dates, and I was the odd one out. Desperation was starting to set in, and the idea of going alone was unbearable.
As I got ready for school, I couldn't help but think about Ryan Leonard. Ryan was a big deal at Boston College, playing hockey and living out his dream. We had grown up together, shared countless memories, and yet, I hadn’t seen much of him since he went off to college. Could I ask him to prom? Would he even agree? The thought made my heart race.
"Y/N, you're going to be late!" my mom's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
"Coming!" I grabbed my bag and headed out, trying to shove my anxiety aside.
School was the usual mix of boring classes and the buzzing excitement of prom. My friends, if I could really call them that, were chattering about their dresses, dates, and after-parties. I felt like an outsider looking in.
"Hey, Y/N, who are you going with to prom?" Sarah, one of the self-proclaimed leaders of our group, asked with a smirk.
I hesitated. "I... I haven't decided yet."
She laughed. "Better hurry up. You don’t want to be the only one without a date."
The bell rang, and I practically ran to my first class, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach. As the day dragged on, I kept thinking about Ryan. Maybe this was crazy, but he was my last hope.
---- --- --- 
Back home, I paced my room, working up the nerve to call Ryan. My mind was racing with a hundred different thoughts, each one more anxious than the last. Finally, I grabbed my phone and dialed his number, my heart pounding with each ring.
"Hello?"
"Ryan? Hey, it's Y/N," I said, my voice trembling slightly.
"Y/N! Wow, it's been a while. How's it going?"
"Good, good. Listen, I need a favor," I blurted out, already feeling the nerves creeping in.
"Sure, what’s up?" he asked, his tone warm and friendly.
I took a deep breath. "Would you... um, would you go to prom with me?" The words tumbled out faster than I intended. I immediately started overexplaining. "I know it's short notice, and you're probably really busy with hockey and school and everything. I just—well, you know how it is, all my friends have dates, and I didn't want to go alone, and I thought maybe since we grew up together and always had fun, it wouldn't be too weird, but if you can't, I totally understand..."
"Y/N," he interrupted gently, a smile evident in his voice. "Calm down. I'd love to go to prom with you."
Relief flooded through me, but I still felt the need to clarify. "Really? I mean, it's next Saturday, and you probably have a lot going on. I wouldn't want to impose or mess up your schedule."
"Next Saturday is perfect," he reassured me. "I'd be honored to go with you. It's no imposition at all."
I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "Thank you, Ryan. Seriously, this means a lot to me."
"Anything for you, Y/N," he said softly. "I’m looking forward to it."
His calm, steady response eased my anxiety, and for the first time in days, I felt a genuine smile spread across my face. "Me too. Thanks again, Ryan."
"Anytime," he replied. "See you next Saturday."
After we hung up, I collapsed onto my bed, feeling a mix of excitement and gratitude. Ryan Leonard, my childhood friend, and now my prom date. Maybe this prom wouldn't be so bad after all.
--- --- --- 
The news that I was going to prom with Ryan Leonard spread through the school like wildfire. No one believed me. My so-called friends laughed it off, convinced I was making it up to save face.
"Yeah right, like Ryan Leonard is going to show up here," Sarah scoffed, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Stop trying to get attention, Y/N."
I tried to brush it off, but the disbelief and mockery didn't stop there. In the cafeteria, I overheard them talking about me while I was in line for lunch.
"Did you hear Y/N’s story about bringing Ryan Leonard to prom?" Emily giggled. "What a joke."
"I know, right?" Jessica chimed in. "It's so obvious she’s lying. Probably doesn’t want to admit she couldn’t get a date."
During gym class, they continued their taunts. As we were warming up, Sarah walked past me and smirked. "So, Y/N, how's your 'boyfriend' Ryan doing? Is he flying in on his private jet to take you to prom?"
Her friends laughed, and I felt my face flush with embarrassment. I clenched my fists, forcing myself to stay calm.
The worst was in English class. Mrs. Thompson asked us to discuss our plans for the weekend, and when it was my turn, I hesitated. I didn’t want to give them more ammunition, but I couldn't lie.
"I'm going to prom," I said simply.
"With Ryan Leonard," Sarah interjected loudly, rolling her eyes. "Isn't that right, Y/N?"
The class erupted into laughter, and Mrs. Thompson had to call for order. I sank lower into my seat, wishing I could disappear.
Even in the hallways, the whispers followed me. "There goes Y/N, the girl who thinks she's going to prom with a college hockey star," I overheard one girl say to her friend.
"She must be delusional," her friend replied. "No way he’d come back for a high school prom."
I tried to ignore them, focusing instead on getting everything ready for the big night. I bought a dress, arranged for hair and makeup, and counted down the days until Saturday. Despite the constant doubt and ridicule, I held onto the hope that Ryan would come through for me.
As the day approached, the tension only grew. My so-called friends couldn't resist one last dig during lunch on Friday.
"So, Y/N," Sarah said loudly enough for the whole table to hear, "ready for your big date with Mr. Imaginary?"
"Yeah, Y/N," Emily added with a smirk. "I hope he doesn't stand you up. That would be so embarrassing."
I took a deep breath and looked them straight in the eyes. "You'll see," I said quietly but firmly. "He’s coming."
They all laughed again, but I could see a flicker of uncertainty in their eyes. Maybe, just maybe, they were starting to wonder if I was telling the truth.
I spent Friday night in a flurry of preparation, my excitement mingling with nerves. As I lay in bed, I couldn't help but replay the events of the past week in my mind. All the doubts, the mocking, the disbelief—I just hoped that when Ryan showed up, it would be enough to prove them all wrong.
--- --- ---
The night of prom arrived, and I stood in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection. My dress was perfect, a deep blue that complemented my eyes, and my hair was styled in loose curls. I looked... different. More confident, maybe. But inside, I was a bundle of nerves. My heart was pounding, and my stomach felt like it was filled with butterflies. I couldn't shake the anxiety that had been building all week.
"Y/N, are you ready?" my mom called from downstairs.
"Almost!" I called back, taking a deep breath and smoothing down my dress for what felt like the hundredth time. I glanced at my phone, checking the time and wondering if Ryan would actually show up. What if something had come up last minute? What if he forgot?
I shook my head, trying to banish the negative thoughts. Ryan wasn't like that. He said he'd be here, and I had to trust him. I grabbed my clutch and headed downstairs, my heart racing with each step.
As I reached the bottom of the stairs, I heard a car pull up outside. My heart skipped a beat, and I rushed to the window. Ryan was there, leaning against his car, looking as handsome as ever in a classic black tuxedo. Relief and excitement washed over me, and I took a deep breath to steady myself.
"Coming!" I called out to my mom, my voice shaky. I opened the door and stepped outside, my heart pounding in my chest.
Ryan's face lit up when he saw me, and he smiled that charming smile that had always made me feel special. "Wow, Y/N. You look amazing."
"Thanks, Ryan," I replied, feeling my cheeks flush. "You clean up pretty well yourself."
He opened the car door for me, and as I slid into the passenger seat, I couldn't help but start babbling. "I can't believe you're actually here. I mean, I knew you would be, but still, I was so nervous all week. Everyone at school kept saying you wouldn't show up, and I started to doubt myself. But you're here, and it means so much to me. I know you're really busy with hockey and college and everything, so I really appreciate you taking the time to do this. It's just... thank you, Ryan."
He chuckled softly as he got into the driver's seat. "Y/N, it's really no big deal. I’m happy to be here with you. And besides, prom is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. I wouldn’t miss it for the world."
His calm, reassuring tone helped soothe my nerves, and I smiled, feeling a little more at ease. As we drove to the venue, my mind was racing with a mix of excitement and anxiety. Would my friends believe me now?
--- --- ---
When we arrived at the venue, the parking lot was already filled with students dressed in their finest. The school had transformed the gymnasium into a glittering wonderland of lights and decorations. Ryan parked the car and came around to open my door, offering his hand to help me out.
As we walked toward the entrance, my heart was pounding again. I could already see some of my classmates milling around outside, and I knew they were watching us. The whispers started almost immediately.
"Is that really Ryan Leonard?"
"I can't believe he actually came."
I held my head high, gripping Ryan's arm for support. As we entered the gym, the room fell silent for a moment, heads turning to stare at us. The music continued to play, but all eyes were on us.
Sarah and her friends were clustered near the punch bowl, and I saw her eyes widen in disbelief when she spotted us. She quickly composed herself and walked over, her expression a mix of skepticism and forced friendliness.
"Well, well, Y/N. Looks like you weren't lying after all," she said, trying to sound casual but failing to hide the surprise in her voice.
"Why would I lie about something like this?" I shot back, my voice steadier than I felt.
She narrowed her eyes, clearly annoyed that her predictions had been wrong. "Whatever. Have fun, I guess."
Ryan squeezed my hand, and we moved to the dance floor. The music was loud, the lights were bright, and for a moment, everything felt perfect. I glanced around, seeing the looks of shock and envy on the faces of my classmates. It was a small victory, but it felt good.
--- --- --- 
As we swayed to the slow, melodic rhythm of the music, the world seemed to fade away, leaving just Ryan and me on the dance floor. The soft glow of the fairy lights above us cast a warm, ethereal glow, and I found myself relaxing into the moment. Ryan's hand was steady on my waist, his other hand gently holding mine.
I looked up at him, feeling a mixture of gratitude and nostalgia. "Thank you for coming tonight, Ryan," I said softly. "You have no idea how much this means to me."
He smiled down at me, his eyes warm and sincere. "I'm happy to be here, Y/N. It's been a long time since we’ve had a chance to catch up."
I nodded, feeling a lump form in my throat. "I missed you. Things just aren’t the same without you around."
"I missed you too," he admitted, his gaze never leaving mine. "Life's been so busy with college and hockey, but I always think about the times we spent together growing up."
I bit my lip, trying to find the right words. "It feels like everything changed so quickly. One minute we were kids, and the next, you were off chasing your dreams. I guess I felt a little left behind."
Ryan's expression softened, and he pulled me a little closer. "I'm sorry if it ever felt that way. You were never left behind, Y/N. You've always been important to me."
His words sent a warm feeling through my chest, and I found myself smiling despite the tears that threatened to spill. "It’s just been tough, you know? With everyone at school and feeling like I don’t quite fit in. Having you here tonight... it makes everything better."
He squeezed my hand gently. "You deserve to feel special, Y/N. Don’t let anyone make you think otherwise. Tonight is about having fun and celebrating you. I'm just glad I get to be here with you."
We danced in silence for a few moments, the music surrounding us like a comforting embrace. I felt safe and cherished in Ryan’s arms, a stark contrast to the way I usually felt at school. It was as if all the doubts and insecurities melted away, replaced by a sense of belonging.
"Do you ever miss it?" I asked, breaking the silence. "Being home, I mean."
He nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, I do. Boston College is amazing, and I love playing hockey, but there's something about being home that you can't replace. The familiarity, the memories... and people like you."
I blushed at his words, feeling a warmth spread through me. "I’m really proud of you, you know. Seeing you live your dream is inspiring."
"Thanks, Y/N," he said, his smile genuine. "And you? What about your dreams? What do you want to do after graduation?"
I hesitated, the question feeling both exciting and daunting. "I’m not entirely sure yet. I have some ideas, but it’s hard to know for certain. I just want to find something that makes me happy."
"You will," he said confidently. "Whatever you choose, you’ll be amazing at it. I know you will."
The song began to wind down, and I realized that for the first time in a long while, I felt hopeful about the future. As the last notes played, Ryan leaned down, his forehead resting gently against mine.
"Thank you for this dance," he whispered, his breath warm against my skin.
"Thank you for making it unforgettable," I whispered back, feeling a sense of connection that words couldn't fully capture.
--- --- --- 
As the night went on, I started to relax, enjoying Ryan's company and the magic of the evening. We danced, laughed, and talked, just like old times. But, of course, it didn’t last. My so-called friends couldn’t resist making snide comments and trying to undermine me.
"Look at Y/N, acting like she's all that just because she has a famous date," one of them whispered loudly enough for me to hear.
"Yeah, it's probably just a pity date," another added.
Ryan stopped dancing and turned to them, his eyes blazing with anger. "You know what? Y/N is amazing, and she's way better than any of you who think it's okay to tear someone down just to feel good about yourselves."
The room went silent again, and I felt my cheeks burn with a mix of embarrassment and gratitude. No one had ever stood up for me like that.
"Let's get out of here," Ryan said softly, taking my hand.
We left the ballroom and walked outside into the cool night air. The stars were bright, and the tension of the evening seemed to melt away.
"Thank you, Ryan. For everything," I said, my voice filled with emotion.
He looked at me, his expression serious. "You deserve better than how they treated you, Y/N. Don't ever let anyone make you feel less than you are."
--- --- ---
The rest of the night was a blur of laughter and conversation. We drove around the city, talking about everything and nothing, just like old times. It felt like we were the only two people in the world.
After leaving the prom, we got into Ryan's car and drove away from the venue, the city lights twinkling like stars around us. The air was filled with a comfortable silence, punctuated only by our sporadic bursts of laughter and the hum of the car engine. Ryan turned on the radio, and we sang along to old songs that brought back a flood of childhood memories.
"Remember when we used to ride our bikes to the old park and play until it got dark?" Ryan asked, glancing over at me with a nostalgic smile.
I laughed, the memory warming my heart. "Yeah, and how we’d always get in trouble for coming home late. Your mom would call my mom, and they’d both be waiting for us at your house with that look."
He chuckled, nodding. "Good times. Simpler times."
We drove past our old elementary school, the playground now empty and quiet. "It's strange how everything looks the same, but feels so different," I mused. "We’ve grown up so much, but these places hold the same memories."
Ryan pulled over near the school, turning off the engine. "Let's take a walk," he suggested.
We got out of the car and strolled down the familiar paths, the cool night air refreshing against my skin. The playground was eerily quiet, a stark contrast to the bustling activity it used to have when we were kids. We walked over to the swings and sat down, gently swaying back and forth.
"Do you ever wish you could go back?" I asked, looking up at the stars.
"Sometimes," Ryan admitted. "But then I think about all the things we’ve experienced and learned. Growing up is hard, but it shapes us into who we are. And I wouldn’t trade that for anything."
I nodded, understanding what he meant. "I just miss the simplicity of it all. No drama, no expectations. Just us, having fun."
He reached over and took my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "We can still have that, you know. It might be different, but the connection is still there. Tonight proves that."
We sat there for a while, lost in our own thoughts, the silence comfortable and familiar. Eventually, we got back into the car and continued our journey through the city. We drove past our favorite ice cream shop, and Ryan impulsively turned into the parking lot.
"Want to get some ice cream?" he asked with a grin.
"Absolutely," I replied, my excitement genuine.
The shop was nearly empty, and we ordered our old favorites—mint chocolate chip for him, strawberry for me. We sat in one of the booths, savoring the sweet, cold treat and reminiscing about the countless times we’d done the same thing as kids.
"Do you remember that summer we tried to make our own ice cream?" Ryan asked between bites. "We made such a mess in your kitchen."
I laughed, almost choking on my ice cream. "My mom was so mad! We got ice cream everywhere except in the bowls."
"It tasted awful, too," he added with a grin. "But it was fun. One of those memories you never forget."
We stayed there until the shop closed, then got back in the car and drove aimlessly, enjoying each other’s company. We talked about our hopes and dreams, our fears and uncertainties. It felt good to open up, to share parts of ourselves that had been hidden away for too long.
Eventually, we found ourselves at the edge of town, near the lake where we used to go fishing with our families. Ryan parked the car, and we got out, walking down to the water's edge. The moon reflected off the surface, creating a serene and almost magical atmosphere.
"I used to come here to think," I said quietly, staring out at the water. "Whenever things got tough, this was my escape."
Ryan nodded, his gaze fixed on the horizon. "I get that. Everyone needs a place like this. A place to find peace."
We sat down on the grass, side by side, the silence speaking volumes. After a while, Ryan turned to me, his expression serious. "Y/N, I’m really sorry about what happened at prom. I didn't mean to cause any trouble."
I shook my head, placing a hand on his arm. "Ryan, you didn’t ruin anything. You made it better. I’m glad you stood up for me. It showed me who my real friends are."
He smiled, relief evident in his eyes. "I’m glad to hear that. I was worried I might have made things worse."
"No," I said firmly. "You made it perfect. Tonight has been everything I could have hoped for and more. Thank you."
We stayed there for a while longer, the peacefulness of the lake surrounding us. Eventually, we knew it was time to head home. Ryan drove me back to my house, the conversation still flowing easily between us.
Ryan walked me to my door, and we stood there, neither of us wanting the night to end.
"I had a great time tonight, Y/N," he said softly.
"Me too. Thank you for coming with me. It really meant a lot."
He smiled, that same smile that had always made me feel special. "Anytime. Let’s not wait so long to see each other again, okay?"
"Okay," I agreed, my heart swelling with a mix of emotions.
He leaned in and kissed my cheek, sending a shiver down my spine. "Goodnight, Y/N."
"Goodnight, Ryan."
I turned to unlock the door, but before I could step inside, I felt his hand gently grab my arm. I turned back, surprised, and saw an intensity in his eyes that took my breath away. Without another word, he leaned in and kissed me, his lips soft and warm against mine. The world seemed to stop in that moment, and all I could feel was the electricity between us, the connection that had always been there but now felt stronger than ever.
When we finally pulled apart, both of us were breathless. I stared up at him, my heart racing. "Ryan," I whispered, my voice barely audible, "would you... would you stay the night? Not like that, I mean. Just stay. I don't want this night to end."
He looked at me, his eyes softening with understanding. "I'd like that," he replied, his voice tender. "I'd like that a lot."
I opened the door wider, letting him in. The house was quiet, my parents long since asleep. We tiptoed upstairs, careful not to make too much noise. Once in my room, I grabbed a spare blanket and pillow, offering them to Ryan for the bed.
"You can take the bed," I said, gesturing toward it. "I'll sleep on the floor."
But Ryan shook his head, a determined look in his eyes. "No, Y/N. You take the bed. I'll be fine on the floor."
I hesitated, feeling a mix of gratitude and guilt. "Are you sure?"
He smiled, his expression gentle. "Positive. I'll be more comfortable down here."
Reluctantly, I accepted his offer, settling onto the bed and pulling the covers up around me. Ryan arranged the blanket and pillow on the floor, making himself as comfortable as possible.
"Thank you, Ryan," I said softly, feeling a warmth spread through me at his selflessness.
He looked up at me, his eyes soft and sincere. "Anytime, Y/N. I'm just glad to be here with you."
I smiled, feeling a sense of contentment wash over me. It felt strange, having Ryan here in my room, but also strangely comforting. We had shared so many memories in this space, and having him here now felt like coming full circle.
"Hey, Ryan?" I said quietly, my voice barely above a whisper.
"Yeah?"
"Would you... would you like to share the bed? Like we used to when we were kids?"
He looked surprised, but a hint of a smile played at the corners of his lips. "Are you sure?"
I nodded, feeling a sudden rush of courage. "Yeah. I mean, if you're comfortable with it."
He hesitated for a moment, then nodded, his smile widening. "I'd like that, Y/N. I’d like that a lot."
We rearranged the blankets and pillows, making room for both of us on the bed. As we settled in, side by side, I felt a sense of closeness that I hadn't felt in a long time. It felt right, having Ryan here beside me, sharing this intimate space.
"Goodnight, Y/N," he said softly, his voice laced with warmth.
"Goodnight, Ryan," I replied, feeling a sense of peace settle over me as I drifted off to sleep, wrapped in his comforting presence. It was a night I would never forget, a night that marked the beginning of something new and beautiful between us.
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sorry I haven't been posting. I took a break and it was well needed! but im back should be putting out requests this week.
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madebyparakiss · 3 days
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Blessings of You ー Chap. 1 & 2
𖦹 f!reader , aged-up megumi, college au, slow burn
wc ~620
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Chap. 1 : Reflections of A New
Beneath August's evening sky, the suffocating heat seems to drown you, forcing pearls of sweat to pool in your collar. A brisk walk in the early days of May turned into a sickening marathon in August's warmth. July downpours seemed to have washed away any sense of comfort, resulting in an ice cream break more often than not.
You decided to move to Tokyo officially, after attending an international school in Osaka for your high school years. Your mother, a traveling English teacher decided Japan would be a beautiful place to teach in thus your reason for staying.
Now, Osaka's familiarness grew old and the desire to expand your wings led you to Tokyo-- at least that's what you had told yourself. Any reason to escape the haunting memories of your high school years. 
The bell of the supermarket rings, "Welcome!" a cheery worker shouts from across an aisle. You make your way to the frozen foods section, a slave to the cold refresher. Peering into the sliding glass of the ice cream, you search for something different than your regular garigari kun ice pop. In the reflection of glass there too was a boy, his index and thumb cupping his chin. His eyes are a hue of deep blue, and dull beneath his spikey locks, some pieces hanging low. He's got a couple of piercings scattered on his face. A beam impaling his eyebrow and on the opposite side of his lip, a ring rests nicely. His pink lips contrast the silver, bringing color to his face. His eyes wander to yours in the reflection of the glass door, sending intense chills up your arms. You look away, still fixated on his look.
He slides the door and grabs a garigari ice pop, your favorite, before a guy with bright pink hair jumps up, looping his arms around his neck. "Megumi!!" He cheers, and the black-haired boy gives a shy smile in response.
They both make their way to the counter and you slide the door back open, grabbing the ice pop.
Maybe change isn't all that bad. 
Chap. 2 : The Heat Makes Everything True
Rain leaves rivulets on the glass as sweat traces your temples. Despite the rain, humidity made the weather unbearable. Your apartment creaks with each step on the wooden floor because of the heat. Even the ground seems to be sweating, your skin sticking and peeling away with each stride.
Today, work will begin around 9, leaving you an hour and a half to dress. It feels like an eternity as your body aches for AC. Palms red and hair damp against your skin, you crawl to the white fan pushing every ounce of energy left into spinning.
In front of it, the small gusts of wind caress your face fulfilling you with a brief sense of content. What would make this moment perfect is an ice pop.
You think about the first bite, sinking your teeth into the rough outside, exposing the sweet filling. Or maybe the icy blue soda flavor would taste better, its crunch leaving you with a cold mouth. Or maybe it should be a pair of deep blue eyes on a pretty face peering over his reflection, making eye contact with you; sending shivers down your spine.
Despite such short eye contact, you find yourself allured by its deepness. A bottomless pit of thoughts and emotions kept hidden beneath the emotionless face. How could someone be so interesting? Someone so novel yet simple. You clasp your hands over your face, pushing down slight pressure.
"What the hell is wrong with me" you mumble into them. This heat is seriously driving me crazy.
: ̗̀➛ next
authors note : Hii!! i recently got back into writing and i wanted to post something about Megumi. Sorry that this is so short, i promise to try and write longer chapters in the future.
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neurotonic · 2 months
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Do you think Prism after IEYTD3 would do anything to honor the rest of her robots who didn't escape the factory explosion
Oh absolutely. She loved those silly little guys! She dedicated so much work, time and effort to make them real and they were there with her and she loved every single one of them. She didn't have to get attached, after all they were just another project, but she chose to love and appreciate them as they were. She was probably under the assumption that they'd outlive her, being robots and all, but that explosion definitely crushed her heart. I don't know if she could find it in her to make another robot after that.
I think if she finds time to slow down after the third game's end, she'd let herself properly grieve her loss and honor their memory. Probably something that involves a spare part that she brought with her, a core, a bit of kinesium...but yeah.
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indigodawns · 1 year
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#had an okay writing day for my thesis yesterday and it was a rly nice day overall and then idk. rsd hit i guess and#i went to sleep way too late so ofc today i've been feeling foggy and i haven't written a word and it's 6pm like..............#makes me feel like i wasted the work i did yesterday and i should've gone to my grandpa's bday celebrations yday#even though that didn't feel viable. he sure made me feel like shit for missing it too!#it just feels like see i could've gone and done yday's work today or some shit which ?? but sure#i just know myself and im p unbearable to be around rn/when im stressed/on a deadline so yk. + travel time + adjusting plus socialising...#also had a long talk w/ my friends yday and it was nice and it was all about how you experience consciousness but also idk.#also i keep being so sharp and kinda mean to one of my friends and it's sooooooooo she says it's fine and it's not that bad but ughhhhhhh#im sure the core of this spiral is i just rly don't like myself and i think im right not to so like. what now#and none of this even matters like. get it toGETHER#also adhd meds aren't magically fixing my life so that's another scam (but ok they DO help at least i can actually write and think then)#anyways.#i think it's. feeling this & hating myself and my friend talking about how they're past that and life is still hard for them#and it's not about me but it does make me feel stupid like true all my problems are self-made not even circumstancial like.#also feel like i keep saying the wrong thing to people and i keep messing up my words lately and boooooooo idk#anyways im ok i just don't wanna moan abt this to anyone specifically but clearly im stuck so yk?#should i share more nice moments here too??? i just always feel like whatever emotion im feeling disappears when i share it so???#maybe bc i overthink it then or whatever#but i can!! maybe i should#for yday: had a rly rly fun convo with a friend who gave me the wildest updates ever + spent time with 2 of my best friends#+ smelled the flowers and that v v specific spring to summer air and felt the sun on my face#FINE maybe therapists have a point
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toastsnaffler · 5 days
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ahh.. I have tickets for a small music festival tmr which I went to last year + had a whale of a time but this year theres only like 2 artists I wanted to see but they released the schedule a couple days ago and neither are playing before 9:30pm. since I don't live local anymore I'd have to leave to travel back home around that time or I'd miss the last train... and there's not rly anywhere I can crash overnight there (and I was planning on going alone anyway like I did last year). so I think im gonna have to let this one pass me by :-(
#its not the end of the world like theyre not artists i LOVE love just ones i know and like a few tracks of#last year i had so much fun bc one of the artists there was an all time fave of mine. but yeah im not missing out on that this year#but its still a shame. i miss living there and being able to walk to gigs to easily like the music scene was so up my street!!#and i was kind of looking forward to it. but i shouldve planned it further in advance if i was serious abt going#i just didnt think theyd BOTH play so late???? i swear they had an earlier schedule last year#i guess i could just go and mill around some of the shows earlier in the day even tho ive skimmed most of them on spotify and theyre-#not rly my thing. sigh#im v tired + starting to feel quite sad this evening for some specific reasons i dont really want to think much about bc it is what it is#so its hard to imagine going out and having fun tomorrow. maybe ill just aim to get my chores done instead and see how i feel after that#i might fix my bike up and check the other local climbing gym out bc i havent visited that one before and itd be nice to mix it up#and i need to go out on the bike at some point this weekend so i dont build up anxiety abt it after yesterdays crash. hmm#man. its hard trying to do things solely for my own enjoyment sometimes. im usually pretty ok at making myself do it#and im grateful that i am! but i think im just feeling quite lonely. and not in a way where being around other people rly helps#like its more of a core thing. i feel kind of unseen by people in my life at the moment and that makes me feel like im not quite real#and i dont really know what to do about that. i think its why im still on my discord hiatus i just dont really have anything to say rn#ive felt this intermittently throughout a lot my life i think. but most of the time i can distract myself from it enough not to notice it#and i put the effort in socially regardless + usually when im in the moment it doesnt matter. but the stretches inbetween those moments..#its not unbearable and i dont feel that depressed at the moment either. just a bit lost i guess. i know itll pass eventually#but yeah it just keeps nudging up against me bc im feeling every little misunderstanding and slight quite keenly atm#ahh.. well its okay. ive never really needed much anyway im good at taking care of myself and thats enough to get by#ill do something nice for myself this weekend one way or another. im gonna go take a long shower rn i think and then read a bit#ah and i said i didn't rly want to think about it! but i guess i did... well i feel like i exist a little more for typing it out anyway#okay yes shower time now :-)#.diaries#maybe someday ill have ppl in my everyday life who i do feel seen + safe around. a girl can dream.. i have a lot of work to do before then
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siriuslynephilim · 6 months
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im so tough when im alone and i make you feel so guilty and i fantasize about the time you're a little fucking sorry do you think i deserved it all your flowers filled with vitriol you have everything but you still want more and
#this whole fucking song god i need to dedicate to my dad#he never fucking planned to send me away on time he never cared enough always so fucking selfish#ive been here since the fucking 8th and it's been 10 full days and today when i asked ab main kya bolu office mein kyu nahi aa rahi#aur kabse aaungi they need a date#he's like yehi 5000 ki naukri ki padi hai kya padhai kar rahi hai ya nahi#you waited the entire fucking time i was here made me do all your fucking chores from literally 6 am in the morning till night continuously#to bring this up?? how fucking selfish do you have to be#now he's like make a goddamn schedule sit with me for 1 hr we'll make it and only then ill THINK about sending u back#fuck him fuck him so bad#idk why he makes me feel so weak and hurt#he wants me to study on my own plus the subjects they're teaching in tuition and idk man it's impossible i can barely keep up with tui#and whenever i tell him that he says you're just not trying hard enough and as soon as he says that the floodgates open this unbearable#lump in my throat forms#today too he asked why won't i follow it aise kaise chalega and my throat was so choked up i knew that one word and i would start crying?#and i didn't want to do that crying in front of him is never good it just makes him more angry violent even#i braved it out for like an hour and then finally he let me go to sleep then i cried peacefully for like half an hour#idk why can't i just tell him fight him jist say like an adult that ye mere bas ki baat nahi hai mujhse itna kuch nahi hoga#even typing this out is bringing tears to my eyes#maybe because it makes ne feel like a huge fuckinh failure a loser a fuckinh dumbass unintelligent lost unfocused#i feel like id be proving him right by admitting defeat he said ill fail again if i continue like this and im afraid he's right#and i fucking hate that i can't do it but literally everyone else around me can very fucking easily?????#everyone is so. normal okay chill relaxed#they do their homework they don't procrastinate they understand what's taught in class in first go#they're consistent they do it thru months whereas me i last like 2 weeks max then it all goes to shit without fail#and i hate being so weak esp in front of him cause i know he doesn't understand or is sensitive to weakness he only wants me#to be strong inhumane like a machine who never gets tired#im so scared of what ill say in office why doesn't he get it's bad for rep and they'll scold me?? and it's not a fucking naukri it's an#internship where im supposed to learn field work and it's literally fucking mandatory to do it to sit in the exams#i spend like 7 8 hours there how do u expect me to not make it a priority at all#im trying my fuckinh best okay but schedules are suffocating impossible i have no energy to do anything besides some hw after 7 pm
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insanechayne · 9 months
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#seems like I’m only going to get one message from you today which kinda sucks since you told me you didn’t really do much the whole day#reasonably you had time to talk to me at least a little bit more#I’ve only been begging for more time with you for weeks on end until it caused a fight but whatever#and I hate that this kind of thing even bothers me because why should I still care so much about how little or how much we talk?#I should be able to distance myself from you the way you do from me and have it not affect me at all#and yet apparently I still feel something for you and am still desperate for your attention and I don’t know how to make that stop#I still think about you every day all the time even when I don’t want to and I can’t make that stop either#it makes me feel so guilty because this is how I should be feeling for my girlfriend and yet it isn’t#I can say maybe that’s because I do see her all the time and talk to her often and we’re barely ever apart#but at the same time I know it’s because some part of me still yearns for you even though I can’t have you and that kills me#talking about the stupid day to day shit and wondering is this all there is for us? forever?#wondering if you ever think about me the way I think about you or feel tempted like I do#hearing you complain about the same things that brought us together in the first place and hating that part of me hopes it’ll bring you back#but also hurting so much because I know things can’t go back to the way they were and you don’t care for me like you used to#the anxiety and the stress and the pain are almost unbearable sometimes#and I’m just trying to go about my life like this isn’t twisting a knife in my guts every second of the day#I wonder sometimes if it would be better to just end our friendship and shut you out completely#out of sight out of mind right? can’t keep thinking about you if I can’t talk to you#but I just feel like that would make it worse and I don’t want to lose anyone else again#but there are ways my girlfriend just can’t fulfill me and I hate feeling like someday I’ll have to choose between all the parts of myself#deciding which parts of me get to be happy and complete because I just don’t get to have it all apparently#and she’s so amazing and wonderful and I love her so much I honestly do#she makes my heart feel full and makes me feel like I’m actually loved so much for once#and yet there’s still something missing and I can’t make this full connection with her and it just makes me feel guilty#I just don’t know what to do anymore because this is all driving me fucking insane#personal
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khezuonhead · 1 year
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stewing in the absolute and pure loathing i feel for my brother atm
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theghostofashton · 1 year
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#idk also just like. being reactionary in fandom spaces isn't new or unique but i think for a lot of reasons it can be kinda insidious#you're dealing w media characters people identify with and relate to characters that bring them comfort#you've attached so many emotions to all of it basically that people saying things impulsively reacting to certain decisions just feels#idk like everything's been dialed up to an uncomfortable point?#bc some of those people are also fans of the same characters and feel betrayed by writing decisions and others just hate everything going on#and the emotions tied to all of it make people say things they maybe wouldn't otherwise but once you say something you can't take it back#and it's just like. idk. if we want fandom spaces to be communities and to feel like communities we do need to be careful w what we say#we do need to care how our words will be received and about the feelings of others in our communities#and i think especially now when the world is unbearable for so many reasons and people turn to these spaces for comfort#it's even more important to be cognizant?#everyone is exhausted and hurting it is so important to be kind#the real harm you do to real people will never be worth anything you have to say about a piece of fictional media basically#and i think while people shouldn't feel like they have to censor themselves there should be a way to express things that is overall kind#that recognizes hey i may not like x but i know a lot of people do so i will keep it to myself or tag it appropriately or something#just like. forethought that is rooted in care that doesn't diminish peoples' feelings or invalidate them#that's not about being Right About Characters but rather validating your own perspective and other peoples' and acknowledging they coexist#that recognizes someone may believe the entire opposite to what you do and you don't have to agree w them but you do need to respect them#it sounds like common sense but really isn't and i wish it was lol
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imsilay · 9 months
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MANIA
obsessive love; very possessive and often jealous.
mdni NSFW! +18 cw: possessiveness, size k!nk, fem!reader, obsessive König, dominant König.
summary: König doesn’t wants you to leave him, even for a second. he finds excuses and makes it your problem so he could fuck you until you’re too sore to leave again.
i will post part 2 <3 (english isn’t my first language sorry for the mistakes) edit: posted! here
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art cr: @kinky-thirsty-reader
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He doesn’t like when you try to leave him…
After a long night, you were exhausted, your body sore from head to toe. You tried to sit up and leave the bed, but suddenly König's arm snaked around your waist and held you down. "Where do you think you're going, Prinzessin?" he whispered. "I need to shower." you mumbled as you put your hands on his forearms and tried to push him away, but it was a pathetic attempt. You were so powerless compared to him.
“So klein~” he cooed.
He chuckled at your struggles. "I don't think so, Schatz. You're staying here, in my bed, where you belong…" he purred, kissing the back of your neck and pulling you even closer, pressing your back against his chest. "König, stop the nonsense. Let go of me, i really need to shower." you protested— you wish you didn’t. His arms tightened around your midsection, reminding you that he could snap your spine effortlessly. "Are you talking back, Prinzessin? Did you forget you’re mine?" he whispered, his tone now edged with discontent. His grip was far from loving anymore. “Do i need to remind you?” he hissed, he would fuck you dumb until you understand that you’re his. His to use for his own satisfaction, his to kiss whenever he decided to do, his to touch wherever he wants. You were simply his.
When you realized you were in trouble, chills ran down your spine. You quickly apologized. "No, I was just... I don't like being sweaty. I'm sorry." Your apology made him loosen his grip a little. He placed a tender kiss on your neck. He turned you around as if you weighed nothing and pressed you against his chest.
“Hmm... let's see," his voice teased, his eyes twinkling with mischief. He sat up, leaning his back against the headboard and had you straddle him. He lowered his hands from your waist to your thighs and gently caressed them. You let out a groan of relief and wrapped your arms around his neck, savoring the sensation of your lover's massage on your sore muscles. However, your relief was short-lived because he wasn't finished with you yet. "You tried to escape my bed. So you need to be punished, Hase." He squeezed your thighs until the pain in your sore muscles became almost unbearable.
You cried and whined but he shushed you softly, soothing you. “We’re not done, Liebling.” It was clear that his tone had changed again. The anger and firmness had given way to something more gentle, almost loving.
You slurred something for forgiveness and apologize nonstop. “Don't be sorry, Hase. I didn't like seeing you try to escape from me." he said with a hint of a pout. "But I think i can make a exception for you this time. What about you let me…" his rough hands slowly caressed your inner thighs making you shiver and gasp in anticipation. “use you as i please, then maybe i could let you rest.” he murmured as his hand found its way to your already wet panties. Your breath hitched and you squirmed on his lap as he teased your cunt through your panties until you’re soaked for him.
“You’re so easy to seduce, Schatz.” he chuckled lightly but his voice stained with pure lust. He lifted your chin up with his free hand to take a look at your lovely face. Your eyes red, your skin flush from all the crying and stimulation. It was all for him… right?
“Immer so empfindlich, wenn ich so mit dir spiele.” (Always so sensitive when I play with you like this.) he mumbled in German like he always did. You never understand what he said -mind foggy with lust and too focused to chase that sweet release.
He grinned with a proud expression and mumbled to himself. “Braves Mädchen.” he whispered before lifting his balaclava up just enough to capture your lips in a long passionate kiss.
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a/n: please support me by reblogging, if you liked it <3
a/n: also i post everyday -sometimes 2 posts in a day- so if you follow me i won’t disappoint ;)
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bisexualiteaa · 1 month
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actually dying for a cooper howard x vaultie!reader smut where they have some slow burn longing steaminess, but coop thinks she’s too good for him UNTIL she comes in contact with a sex pollen-esque chem and he finally gives in to save her 🥵 please work your magic and elaborate however you want
A Flame in Your Heart
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Cooper Howard x Fem Reader (SMUT!!)
CW: NSFW like absolutely filthy y’all, you’ve been warned. 💀 unprotected sex, irradiated cream pie, p in v, p0rn w/ plot, slow burn, flirting, cursing, perverted thoughts, dub-con (because of chem usage though consent is asked and given!) rough sex, dirty talk, choking, praise kink, degradation, squirting, mention of fingering, FEELINGS!! Slight deviation from TV series, possible grammar/spelling mistakes, cooper starts off mean but slowly warms up to reader
AN: I absolutely LOVED this request! I was up all night writing down all my ideas and spent all this morning perfecting it, and this has to be my longest one yet! I thank you for your patience anon and my lovely readers as I finally post this! Hope you enjoy and that I have done your ask justice! ❤️
Life outside of the vault was difficult to say the least. You felt hunger and dehydration in ways you’d never experienced before, going out of your way to do desperate things you would normally never do in order to get said food and water. The heat was unbearable, every stretch of land you walked across had a danger lurking around every corner, and worst of all, you’d never felt so alone. You weren’t sure what it was about you, maybe it was because you were new to the surface, maybe it was your nearly perfect skin, but everyone seemed to stare or glare at you when you would walk through. It wasn’t until you’d passed through Filly, meeting Ma June that you realized people didn’t take kindly to people like you. “Vaulties” she called them, an audible disdain in her tone, making you look down to remember you were in your blue and gold Vault-Tec suit. “I’ll be going then, have a nice day!” You said skiddishly, offering her a kind smile before turning and exiting the shop. You just wanted to make friends, why was that so hard up here? So when your eyes set on a man clad in classic Wild West cowboy clothes, watching smoke settle after a stand off, you weren’t sure why but you knew that was who you needed on your side in this world. Before you knew it, your feet were already moving and mouth speaking to him, grabbing his attention.
“I ain’t no charity case sweetheart, I don’t take on strays” The ghoul spoke, his southern drawl making him even more memorable than the marred texture of his skin. You looked to the dog that trailed not far behind him as he walked, changing its pace to keep up with the man. “The dog there with you tells me otherwise” you quipped. “Ain’t my dog” he responded harshly as he continued walking. “I can make it worth your while!” You yelled, making him stop in his tracks for a moment, a scary sight at first before you worked up the nerve to come closer once he turned back to you. “And how you suppose you’d do that?” He asked, and at first you didn’t know what to say, the words leaving your mouth before you could really think of a good enough reason. Did nobody like company anymore these days? “Well…I can be your scavenger! Pretty good at collecting stuff” you offered, shaking your bag and making things rattle around inside to prove it, making him give a huff of a chuckle. “‘f I wanted a pack mule I’d‘ve found a brahman” he shot you down. “Okay, then I can be good company to talk to!” You offered. “They make radios for when I want to listen to someone yack” he shut down once again. “I’m a good cook! Even with shitty supplies, I can make a stew that’d put a smile even on the meanest son of a gun’s face” you said, hopeful that he’d at least take you for something, but you had a feeling he’d probably turn you down again. “Iguana on a stick’s just fine” he said, though he had to admit the stew sounded good. Reminded him of home before all this wasteland bullshit. “Oh, umm…” you said awkwardly, your tone growing quiet and my how it put a sad look in your eyes. The evil part of him liked it, seeing your sweet innocent face all downturned but the part that was still human deep down, the part that hardly ever saw the light of day anymore, had half a mind to let you.
“Got a lotta nerve walkin’ up t’ me, girly. If you somehow been lucky enough that you ain’t met dangerous yet, you’re lookin’ at someone who could put you down before you’d even mutter your last words” he threatened, motioning to the double barreled shotgun in his hands. “I know, I saw it first hand. You hold yourself well, I envy that. I’m new to all of this and just really want someone who can help me hold my own the same way” you explained. “Look, I know I don’t look like much but please just give me a chance” you begged, looking up at him with a fighting spirit in your eyes that he had to admit, he was pretty impressed in seeing in a vaultie. “You help me, I help you, however that ends up being” you offered, standing strong on this and damn if he didn’t see a little bit of himself in you at that. He gave a sigh, tilting his head down before shaking it, not believing himself for the words he was about to say. “Alright, but the minute you start draggin’ you’re out, got me?” He said, and he hated the way his cold heart seemed to pump a little faster upon seeing your eyes light up with joy and a smile stretch to your face. “Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!” You said, opening your arms up to hug him but being met with the barrel of his gun poking your stomach to keep space between you. “I don’t do hugs” he spoke gruffly, making you back up enough to where he’d drop the gun back to his side. “R-Right…sorry” you apologized, embarrassment washing over you but still glad to finally have someone in your company. “C’mon, I ain’t got all day now” he said, motioning you to start walking, so you joined him.
Your travels with him certainly weren’t at all what you were expecting them to be. From being used as bait, to being tied up with rope most of the time you’d traveled together, or being sent in as his scavenger, you weren’t prepared for a lot of the reality you faced with being up on the surface. Most nights made you question why you’d ever left the comfort of the vault, why you’d abandoned a trusty food supply, regulated temperatures, a safe place to sleep that wasn’t riddled with radroaches or had the likely hood of waking up to a raider with a knife at your throat for no reason. Then you would remember the experiment in your vault, why you left that awful place for arguably a worse reality on the surface but at least you had freedom. Out here you were free to say what you want, do what you want, consume what you want so long as you could defend yourself incase that supply wasn’t unclaimed. You’d gotten pretty handy with a gun in the most recent weeks. Cooper, you learned one night was his name, using empty glass bottles as targets to help teach you accuracy and how to hit things from a longer range. In exchange, you came a little more useful than he had first thought. You had some useful stuff on you for trade like chems, ammo and food, were a good extra bag to hold stuff in, and you were a better cook than you’d talked about. Sure you had a tendency to talk too much, and you weren’t great with a gun, but you were getting there.
“Might I suggest takin’ them clothes instead of wearin’ that suit?” He said, making you look at him weird for suggesting you strip a dead raider of their clothes. “Why would I do that…?” You asked, genuinely confused and not sure what he was implying either, he was a hard man to predict. “Because, people see that shit and get real mad. People up here don’t like vaulties or the ones that run ‘em” he said and it made sense, it helped you understand why you kept getting evil glares each time someone would look at you or talk to you. You figured he knew best, so you took the shirt and pants from one of the female raiders, tucking them into your bag to change into at a better time. He gave a chuckle watching you do so, apologizing to the dead body profusely as you took their clothes and whatever valuables they had on them for the betterment of your own survival. You were still so naive, part of him was hoping he could slowly start to break and corrupt your way of thinking, but that was a thought for another time.
Before you knew it, night finally began to fall. The sun setting across the horizon gave the air less of a hot, harsh bite as the temperature began to cool rapidly across the sands of the Mojave. All you managed to grab was a pair of beat up, old jeans and a tank top, so as soon as the sun set, the chill set in. As you both set up camp for the night just outside of an abandoned rest stop, you started a fire to cook some of that stew you talked about being good at. He had to admit, it was pretty damn good, likely the best thing he’s had since before the bombs went off. Though even the kindling fire couldn’t manage to chase the chill away, watching you run your hands up and down your arms to try and warm up some by it. He felt a slight pang in his heart, watching you shiver like that, how your eyes lit up by the blaze of the fire and your hair seemed to be tousled just right. You were pretty, too pretty to be trekking this wasteland, and certainly too pretty to be trekking it with him of all people as your company. Even he had a heart still, as cold as it was, so out of kindness he shrugged his duster from his shoulders, draping it around you. You looked at the fabric pooled around you, pulling it over you better before looking to him as he sat down across from you again. “Ain’t no use if the cold gets ya” he said, making you smile appreciatively at him as you realized what he did. “Thank you” you replied, a slight blush fanning to your cheeks as the chattering of your teeth finally died down and you grew warmer. It smelled like him, sure it had splatters of old dried blood and was rather worn, but it had that gunpowder and smoke smell to it that you associated with him. “Don’t say I never did nothin’ for ya” he replied, trying to sound cold but it didn’t come off that way, making you chuckle. “What do I owe you?” You asked, making him fall silent for a moment as he pondered the answer to your question. He looked you over for a second before tipping his hat down to cover his face a bit, the signal that he was about to try and get some sleep. “Just keep watch for a bit, I’ll be up in a few hours” he responded, and while it wasn’t what you were expecting, you’d take it.
He was startled awake a couple hours later when he heard a commotion, you yelling at someone telling them to back off that this place had been claimed. The raider you were up against didn’t seem to like that very much, claiming that wasn’t how it worked up here. The altercation took a turn for the worst when the man reached for his gun but you were quick to fire and kill him before he could let out a shot. A shaky feeling set in your hands and a horrified expression across your face at the realization that you just killed someone. Cooper, who was certainly wide awake now, was rather impressed by your quick timing and precision, coming up behind you to lay a gloved hand to your shoulder. “Well would ya look at that, looks like them lessons been payin’ off after all. How’s it feel?” He asked, looking down at you as you stared at the gun in your hands. “He was yelling at me but…he was aiming at you. I don’t really know what came over me, I didn’t like that he was going to shoot you so I just…I killed him” you said, recounting the encounter to him as if he hadn’t seen it himself. He didn’t really know what to think in that moment as you explained how your mind worked, he was proud for sure at your show of improvement with a gun, yet also touched at the same time. No one ever really looked out for him since he started his bounty hunting, he was a well hated man by many but you defended him without really any reason to. You’d just learned his name not but two weeks ago, and before that he was dragging you around with rope yet you still defended him, had you two really gotten closer in the time that’s passed since? He wasn’t sure, but it was something he could mull over while you were sleeping. “Get some rest vaultie, sun’ll be up soon” he said, knowing you likely wouldn’t get much sleep with the adrenaline still coursing through you, but it was at least worth a try, you two had a long day ahead of you.
When you woke up that next morning, things felt a little different between you two. You weren’t some annoying little dog following him anymore, you were an equal. He no longer looked at you and treated you like you were lower than him as you both set out across the wastelands, he had respect for you. Hell, he even started talking with you now when you were out traveling which was almost unbelievable. You learned through those conversations that he used to be an actor in Wild West themed films, explaining his outfit, and that he was married before the bombs dropped. You of course told him bits and pieces about yourself in exchange, after all it only felt fair but it was also nice to just finally talk to someone after all this time.
When night time fell again you two sat enjoying a meal by the fire together, only rather than across from each other, he sat next to you, making a blush come to your face as you’d smiled sweetly at him. “Glad to know I don’t have germs anymore” you said jokingly, making him chuckle. “Give an old man some credit. It ain’t exactly all peaches and marmalade out here darlin’, even cute can be deadly” he said, the nickname and him calling you cute sending a deeper blush to your cheeks despite knowing it’s just how he spoke. Whether it was the lack of contact with other people for so long, or just his charm you couldn’t quite tell, but it always seemed to have an effect on you. “Just teasin’ you, I get it. I’d tie me up and use me for bait too if I’d been doing this as long as you have. It’s a shit hole out here” you said, making him look at you as you dropped the first curse word he’s ever heard from you. “Well I’ll be damned, either I’m a bad influence or you’re finally growin’ outta that naive shell there, vaultie” Cooper replied, making you laugh as you saw a smirk stretch to his thin, marred lips, the first one you’d seen in a while that wasn’t brought on by drugs, chems or that first sip of a good bottle of alcohol. “Probably both” you quipped, making him chuckle. “Yeah, probably. Been told I ain’t easy to stomach” he said, making you hum. “You’re alright in my book, Coop” you replied with a sweet, genuine smile that matched your tone and was that butterflies you felt in your stomach? Did you just call him Coop? No ones called him that in ages, why did it make his heart start to flutter a bit? “You ain’t so bad yourself, vaultie” he responded, still affording you that small smile before turning back to his food. “Keep making food this good and I just might have to keep you around” he joked, making you giggle and break the slightly tense silence. “It’s not much but I certainly try. I’ll definitely make sure to stay good at it, I like traveling with you” you said, unintentionally coming off flirtatious and fuck there it goes again, that feeling in his chest and his stomach like he needed to hit his inhaler but he felt great. What were you doing to him?
“Hey, if it isn’t too much can I ask you a sort of…personal question?” You asked, holding the beat up bowl in your hands as you looked over at him. This was normally the part where he would say no, absolutely not, he wasn’t here to be questioned on his personal matters. Yet, with you, it was different. Ever since last night he hasn’t been so on edge with you, it was like he’d warmed up to you. “Depends on what you’re askin’ there, sweetheart” he said, the nickname once again making you blush. “Do you…miss them? Your wife and daughter?” You asked, not sure if it was a good subject or good question to ask but after finding out, you were genuinely curious. He looked down at his bowl again, thinking of the proper response to your question. The old him would have been defensive, told you it was none of your business, but now? He wasn’t sure. “Ain’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about ‘em. About the way I ran out on ‘em when them bombs dropped” he answered, making you give him a sad look as genuine guilt filled his tone. This was the most honest and open he’s been with you this whole time. “I feel guilty. Not sure if I feel guilty for runnin’ out and leavin’ ‘em behind or guilty for the way I ran out, been tryin’ t’ figure that out for quite a while now and I still ain’t sure” he added, and you sympathized with that. Everyone has regrets, things they’ve done in the past that they aren’t proud of, people up here were no different in that aspect. “Well, in the short time I’ve gotten to know you, I’ve come to understand that everything you do has a valid reason behind it. So even if you feel it was a shitty thing to do, you obviously had a reason for doing so. No one can blame you for trusting your gut, and I don’t think you should blame yourself for doing so” you responded, your hand falling to his as a comforting gesture, your words ringing in his head almost as if you’d opened something in his mind, something he’d never really gave himself to think about before. He looked down at your hand that rested on his, noticing the way you didn’t flinch away from him like others did, the way you were brave enough to walk up to him, talk to him, *trust* him when he made it very clear that you shouldn’t. It was smaller than his, softer for sure, but warm all the same, then he looked up to see that caring look in your eyes and smile on your face that told him that you cared. “Guess you’re right, still wonder sometimes if it was the right choice to make” he replied. “I understand. Everyone has regrets, we all look at the past and hold at least something that we’ve done before in regret, it’s what makes us human” you said, making him give a huff as a chuckle. “You got anybody?” He asked, making you look down as you moved your feet along the dirt. “An ex-husband, but not anyone I really care about, no. My parents passed a few years before the bombings and he and I split up when I caught him cheating on me with some other woman in the vault..” you explained, not sure why it hurt you to tell the tale still, but you felt it was only fair considering what you’d asked of him to share. “Sorry t’ hear that” Cooper said, making you chuckle weakly, a somber look coming to your face that made his heart wrench. “I haven’t exactly been in love since, and considering he and I split up just a little over ten years ago, really says something I guess, huh?” You asked, trying to laugh to bring up the mood, knowing you sounded pathetic. “He was the fool, not you darlin’. He was the one skippin’ out on one hell of a woman” Cooper said, making you look to him and blush a bit as you gave a chuckle at his response.
“Thanks” you replied appreciatively and with a smile before casting your gaze down to see your hands were still connected and it left you blushing harder with embarrassment, you’d been holding his hand this entire time without realizing it. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable if I have I-“ “relax vaultie” he cut you off, pushing your hand back down onto his to assure you that he was far from uncomfortable. “It’s…rather nice actually” he admitted, making you feel relieved but your heart fluttered in your chest from it. A thick tension soon began to set in between you both after that night, something of an unspoken, kindling romance beginning to develop. “Then there it can stay” you said, making him smile softly at you, tipping his hat at you as a silent thank you.
Months passed on like this, where you’d spend the days scavenging, picking the land for its resources you could find and hunting bounties by day, then spending your nights by a fire growing closer and closer with every passing day. Through your shared meals, jokes, deep conversations, and plenty of near death experiences, you started to notice your fondness of the ghoul you traveled with. The way you’d hang onto his words with that southern accent that seemed to pull at your heart strings, or the way you’d go out of your way to stand between him and a stray bullet. You’d helped him on more than one occasion in getting out of a sticky spot, or getting him the stuff he needed to keep from turning feral. In return, he started to notice he was feeling the same towards you. There was this sudden need to keep you safe, to do nicer things for you, to speak better towards you, even flirt with you at times. Some nights there’d be so much tension in the air, it’s a miracle you haven’t jumped each other yet. Though in his eyes, as much as his heart yearned for you, he knew you were too good for him. You’d been hurt before, and he had a reputation for hurting people, feeling undeserving of even just the sweet smiles and company you afford him even now. You didn’t need someone like him, you needed a good man, someone who didn’t kill for a living, someone who could treat you right, someone who didn’t look the way he did. You were soft and warm, he was rough and cold, though he supposed that’s where the term “opposites attract” came from. So even when he was a whole bottle deep, he was sure to hold his tongue to a certain point.
Some of those nights around the fire were spent sober, others not so much, and this night happened to be one of those nights spent under the influence. You two had stumbled across a mini-mart, doing your best to out run the radstorm that had been trailing you guys for hours, coming in just to find whatever supplies you could to make it through the next week and possibly hunker down for the night. So imagine your surprise when you seemed to have found the largest chem stache you’d both ever laid eyes on. “Coop! Come here, you gotta see this” you said, making him run towards you to make sure you weren’t hurt or in trouble. His nerves were eased once he saw you, fully intact. “Tell me I’m not seeing shit” you said, pointing to all of the supplies sitting in a box on the table, joined by other supplies around it. You both looked at each other in complete and utter disbelief, this would keep you stocked for months, maybe even a whole year if you conserved it well. “Well ain’t that just the prettiest fuckin’ sight” he said. There was no way a horde of chems this large and this valuable was just completely unprotected you reasoned, so you routed around the place, scoping out for any raiders, straggling traders or ferals who happened to still be around. It was as if heaven was shining down on you both as you found no one around, seemed like no one had been here for days. So you did the most logical thing anyone would do in this situation. Stuff each of your bags to the brim of drugs of all varieties! Seeing as you had food, chems and even some clean water and alcohol lying around, Cooper locked and barricaded the door shut, proposing it could be a good spot to sleep for the night. With a radstorm approaching, it was best to have a roof over your heads to keep out the rain and potential radiation sickness that came with it. “This is the closest fuckin’ thing to a slice of heaven I’ve seen in ages” he said, aside from you is what played in his mind but he couldn’t speak that out loud, no matter how much he wanted to. “You said it!” you replied, and it’s even better with you here you thought, but thought it best to keep it to yourself. He plopped down on the couch, kicking his feet up to rest on the small table that seemed to be in shambles, enjoying a tape that was playing on the TV that he was surprised to still see functioning. “Holy shit, this thing still works?” You asked, amazed to see working technology out in the wastelands, sitting next to him as you watched it with him. He gave a smirk at your reaction, thinking it was cute the way your eyes would light up when you got all excited over something. Deep down it made him want to give you everything you laid eyes on like that just to see it pointed towards him. “Guess so” he replied, enjoying your excitement only to see you turn and look his way, which was his signal to stop staring holes into you before he gets caught. “I dunno about you baby doll, but I ain’t about to spend tonight sober with this stache sittin’ here ‘n front of us” he said, making you laugh as he routed through all the different drugs and chems til he found what he was looking for.
In the process of searching through it all, a small metal box fell to the floor at your feet. It looked like a box of mentats only the design was different, instead of the characteristic green and white box was a red one covered with hearts labeled DN-Chem. You supposed the worst that could happen was turn into the man sitting next to you, which you figured wasn’t the worst fate to succumb to all things considered, so you went against all better judgement and said fuck it, popping two of the mentat like chems and chasing it with the vodka he’d found to wait for it to take effect. “The hell is DN?” He asked, looking at the box, wondering what it was you took. “Don’t know, guess we’ll find out here soon because I took two” you said, taking another sip from the bottle of vodka he passed your way, and he gave a chuckle as you handed it back to him. “You come a mighty long way, little lady” he commented before setting the metal pill box down. He took the bottle from you, taking a swig, then placing one of the small viles into his inhaler before taking a hit of it then lying back, breathing a sigh of relief as it and the alcohol entered his system like the perfect remedy to any ailment. As about a half an hour rolled by, you waited for the high to set in but it never came, instead you were just getting hot, like really hot. There weren’t any windows open, and it was night time so you shouldn’t be this uncomfortably hot for how it was but you felt like you were on fire. “Shit, it’s hot as hell in here…” you complained, shaking off your jacket that you’d picked off of some raider a few weeks back, making him look to you curiously. “Lightweight” he quipped, making you chuckle. “Accept I don’t feel anything, I just feel hot” you said, making him hum with intrigue before turning back to the TV. “Give it some time, you’re new to all this. ‘m sure your body is wonderin’ what the hell you just put in it” he said, and he had a good point, maybe it was just a side effect of not doing them so often compared to his every day use.
As time went on, you began to notice the way your eyes couldn’t help but be glued to him, more specifically glued to the way his legs were now spread as he sat back. You wondered to yourself what he looked like beneath all that cowboy get up, what his reaction would be like to see you getting on your knees for him and slotting yourself between his spread legs. You shook your head to try and rid yourself of such inappropriate thoughts, but what you couldn’t stop no matter how hard you tried was the feeling of arousal beginning to pool in your panties. Sure he flirted with you every now and again, but you doubt he felt towards you the same way you did for him. To him you were sure you were likely more akin to a pet than a friend, useful and nice to have around, but not anything further. At least so you thought. You’d rather hoped you were wrong in assuming so, that maybe he saw you the same way you saw him. You bit your lip as you tried bouncing your leg to relieve the ache between your thighs, a light pink dusting your face and neck even up to the tips of your ears, but nothing worked. Even as you closed your eyes, all you could picture was you laid out on the couch beneath him, or bent over it with him behind you, or you riding him on it. “Been awful quiet. You doin’ alright over there, sweetheart?” Cooper asked you, and the audible whimper you let out from the nickname left you completely embarrassed. You clasped a hand over your mouth, god you were horrified but he gave a grin and a chuckle in response. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me all the sudden. I feel so…weird?” you said, unsure if that was really the proper word to explain it but it was the only way you could really word it off the top of your head with how much your brain felt as if it was turning to mush. “Ya took some chems, it’s gonna feel a bit fuzzy” he said, trying to assure you that feeling a little funny was normal, but this? This didn’t feel normal, not even for a chem high. You tried your best to swallow harshly, doing everything you could to try and relieve the dry ache you felt in your throat at the moment upon looking at him. You grabbed the bottle of vodka, taking a few sips but even that couldn’t grant you bliss from it. The throbbing in your core was driving you absolutely insane. You swore up and down that it was like you could feel your heartbeat in your chest, stomach, and in your cunt all at the same time. “No, this is different…I don’t think what I took was a normal chem, Coop…” you said, trying not to panic at the effects that were setting in but god you felt like you were absolutely feral. He turned to look at you, watching as you clamped your thighs together and the red that fell over your face. “I feel like an animal in heat” you said bluntly, making him go into a near coughing fit as you took him off guard. However that piqued his interest enough to pick up the little metal box again to see what it was you took. “I ain’t ever heard of a chem that does that, was that DN shit the only stuff you took?” He asked, growing slightly concerned for you and whether he had a possible horde of laced chems, or just an extremely horny woman on his hands. Speaking of hands, you were lost in thought staring at them, at the way they gripped the couch like you wanted him to grip your thighs, at the way they looked in those leather gloves he always wore. You wondered how it would feel wrapped around your throat, or how it would feel if his fingers were buried deep inside of you. Shit. This was getting out of control.
“Hey, ya with me still?” He asked, snapping to try and get your attention back on the matter at hand, making you shake your head yes as you broke from your perverted thoughts. “Is that DN shit the only thing you took?” He asked again, making you shake your head yes once more, because you knew damn well your voice was going to betray you the moment you tried to speak. That had to be it, it was the only thing that was different out of it all and the only thing he’d never heard of before. He knew it wasn’t the vodka either because he was drinking it with you, so if it was affecting you, it would have affected him and it hadn’t.
It took him a minute to put two and two together before he finally realized the abbreviations stood for Date Night, reading the instructions and effects on the inside of the tin’s lid. “Shit..” he said as he read it, realizing this was a hand made thing thrown into the bunch by whoever was running this place. “Did you read the lid before you popped them pills?” He asked, making you go wide eyed. As if this couldn’t get any fucking worse, this shit show could have been avoided had you just read the inside of the lid. “There was instructions?? Oh my god…what the fuck did I take?” You asked, concerned for yourself and the tone he had while reading it. “Somethin’ that the creator of it called Date Night. Looks like it’s a…well looks like it’s a handmade sex chem” he said, making you cover your face with your hands out of sheer embarrassment, you’d never wanted to die out in a radstorm more than you did right now. “Please tell me you’re fucking joking, cooper…” you whined, watching him read it more. “How much of it did you take?” He asked, almost scared to know and you were scared to know why. “Two?” You replied, making him whistle at that as he read it. “Fuckin’ hell sugar..” he said through a chuckle, and that nickname made a shiver run through you, sending electric bolts straight to your throbbing cunt. You did your best to bite back the whimper. “You’re only s’possed take one, and with you bein’ new t’ all this, I wouldn’t have taken more than half” he said, making you just wish you could just dig a hole and die in it already. “Fuck me…wait, shit! N-Not literally fuck me I- well I mean I’d like if you did but…FUCK! Forgive me Cooper, I’m so sorry, I can hardly think straight” you said, making him chuckle. “Well sweetheart, I think you and I both know there’s only one good fix for this situation” he said, making you whimper pathetically at the thought, your thighs squeezing together even more as you tried to fight to stay sane. Your eyes cast downwards to his lap once more, seeing the tent forming in his pants, clearly you weren’t the only one all worked up here. “I don’t want to make you feel like you have to, Coop. I can run off and take care of myself if it makes you uncomfort-“ you rambled but before you could finish, his hand cupped the side of your face, pulling you in for a long awaited kiss. You moaned into it without meaning to, feeling the way your body immediately relaxed upon wrapping your arms around him with no hesitation as the sweet innocent kiss turned passionate and dirty rather quickly.
“I won’t lie t’ you, doin’ this with you has passed my mind more times than I’d care to admit, but I don’t wanna cross that line unless you really want this” he said, looking into your eyes and making sure that this was truly what you wanted, that you felt the same way he did. “Coop, I know I’m under the influence of whatever the fuck this drug is, but trust me when I say, I’d be just as good with it sober. Been thinking about it for probably just as long as you have, if I’m honest with you. I want this, I want you and right now I want you so fucking bad that I might lose my mind if you don’t fuck me” you answered bluntly, taking him by surprise at just the sheer amount of absolute filth that left your otherwise innocent mouth, making him chuckle at your use of curse words and how desperate you were for him. “That so sugar?” He asked with a grin, enjoying teasing you at your neediest moments, including now. “God yes, Cooper please..” you begged, nearly moaning in reply and he’d spent time mulling over it before, denying himself the chance but just as the chem stache was a pot of gold, he took this as one of the best opportunities being placed in his lap by whatever higher power existed out there, making him waste no time in kissing you once more. “Good, because I don’t think I’d be able to hold myself back once we’ve started” he said, and the idea made you moan. “Don’t want you to hold back, want all of you” you said, and your wish was his command.
By the time your brain could finally catch up with you again, your clothes were strewn out all around you, your tank top hanging over the back of the couch, your jeans thrown haphazardly on the arm rest behind you, his pants on the floor, his hat on the table and shirt and duster having fallen somewhere behind the couch. By now, you’d already cum on his fingers twice, and on his cock once, this was your fourth round and this shit still had you on fire. “Yes!! Oh fuck, Cooper!” you moaned as your legs wrapped around his hips, keeping him as close to you as you could get, your fingers digging crescent shapes and puffy red lines into his back that unfortunately he knew wouldn’t stay long thanks to his ability to heal stupidly fast. “Doin’ so good for me, baby doll. Look so pretty like this for me, all splayed out like a needy little whore” he praised and degraded through his groans, making you moan and roll your eyes into the back of your head at the praise mixed with degradation as his cock was drilling deep inside you like tonight was all you guys had. “Yeah, you like that, huh sweet thing? Like it when I tell you how good it feels and call you names?” He asked, making you nod your head yes because there wasn’t a single thought in that brain of yours other than his name, which you spoke like a mantra. “Never knew such a sweet lil’ thing like you would be such a dirty little minx. Fuck…enough to make a man like me go feral, ya know that?” he said, making you giggle as you moved his free hand up to your throat, urging him to choke you, and he groaned at the sight. Your kiss swollen lips all puffy and shining with spit, your cheeks dusted a constant pink that grew darker anytime his cock brushed that spot deep inside that made you cling to him, your eyes half lidded, looking up at him like he was your savior. It made him absolutely rock hard knowing you’d pick him over anyone else in this god forsaken wasteland. “My, you are just a little freak, ain’t you? Oh we are gonna have fun together, you and me honey” he promised, squeezing your throat tight enough to restrict your airflow but not enough to hurt or cause any damage. Just enough to get that puddle of a brain of yours all fuzzy as you got closer to your fourth orgasm of the night. “Cooper…’m so close, so close please!!” You begged, feeling the heavy drag of his cock as he pounded into you, leaving you damn near screaming as it nudged your cervix and that spongy little bundle of nerves deep inside. “Go on honey, I gotchya. Let go for me, wanna see those pretty faces and hear those pretty noises you make” he said, angling his hips just right to hit that spot over and over again. “Oh fuck, oh fuck I’m gonna cum again, I-“ you warned before your moans rose in pitch as your walls clamped around him, gushing on his cock as your orgasm hit you like a freight train. Your body arched off the couch, stars filling your vision for a moment as you felt your release gush out and coat your inner thighs, screaming his name like it was your only chance at salvation. “Well ain’t I just the damn luckiest man in the wastelands right now, got me a pretty little vaultie and she’s a gusher” he said, making you whimper at his teasing but judging by the way he emptied himself inside you for the second time, you took it as a sign that he liked that about you. “Holy shit, I-I didn’t know I could do that” you said, thoroughly shocked with what your brain and body were doing as they almost seemed to almost be working against each other. “Do it again for me” he said, grabbing you and moving you both to where you were straddling him this time. His hands rested on your hips, helping guide you as you speared yourself on his dick with ease from how absolutely soaked you were, making you both throw your head back and moan. “Now that’s a damn good sight” he said, making you lean in to kiss him once more as his hands helped you start and keep a steady rhythm with your hips. It was definitely going to be a long night, but one you two have been needing for months, maybe even longer.
It’s a good thing ghouls have remarkable recovery time, because in order to finally get you sated and back to normal, you both had to spend all night going at it. Granted, it was aided by the mix of pent up sexual tension and pent up sexual frustration, but it was dawn before you both had gotten to a point where you could even *try* and fall sleep. First few times was on the couch between missionary, doggy and you riding him, next was you bent over it, with your pretty legs spread and ass in the air for him. Then, you used the arm rest of the couch as a pillow beneath your hips as he stood up while you laid out on the couch. He liked that one a lot for the way your tits would bounce with each and every forceful thrust into you, jolting your body. After that, it was done standing up with your back pressed against a wall, your legs and arms wrapped around him to keep him deep inside of you and fill you til he had nothing left to give you. From that point on, the rest of the night was all a hormone-hazed blur, but you knew well that he took care of you. You woke up unbelievably sore, your joints aching in places that you had no idea could even ache, a swollen, angry throb between your legs for the harsh, almost punishing treatment to your pussy followed by bruises, bite marks, scratch marks, hand prints etc. littered your skin as you woke up curled into Cooper’s side. You gave a gravelly groan as the sun shone in your eyes through the windows, making him chuckle at the way you were such a ray of sunshine except in the morning. Coming to learn that you absolutely *hated* mornings. Though you suppose you started to enjoy them more since traveling with him. “Mornin’ sunshine” he said coyly, making you groan disapprovingly at the way the sun was in your eyes, making you hold your hand up to cast a shadow on your face and grant you some relief. “Morning” you answered, your voice hoarse and half gone from sleep and all your activities that transpired the previous night. “Ain’t that a pretty sight” he said, turning and seeing you curled up to him, naked, your hair all messy from sleep and the hickeys and bite marks littering your skin, making you chuckle. “Last night was definitely something, can’t believe you’ve been holding all *that* out on me” you joked, making him give a dry laugh. “Could say the same thing about you, sugar. Had no idea that mind a yours could be so filthy. You’re a wild thing to party with, lil’ lady” he teased, sliding his arm around you to keep you close, making you hum as you lay soft, appreciative kisses to his collarbone and chest. “You’re fun too, and thank you for taking care of me last night. I’m sorry that it ended up happening the way that it did, I wanted to work up the courage and tell you some other way, I really did, but I guess life had other plans” you said making him chuckle as he saw you blush when he kissed your head. “Drunk words are sober thoughts they say, so I’d say I made out pretty good. But don’t sweat it, not sure how I deserved someone as good as you, but it’s good to know I ain’t as hard to stomach as most people say” he said, pulling you in for a soft, heartfelt kiss. “I think you are just perfect, Cooper” you said, your hand resting on his scarred chest as you looked at him with that gaze he swore he’d do anything to see pointed his way.
“You really wanna be my girl?” He asked softly, sounding shocked and with some self doubt still lacing his tone, but he had to be sure this was what you wanted outside of the drug’s effects. He cared for you deeply, in a way that he hasn’t felt in a very long time, but maybe you were just the right person for him to finally open his heart up to. His question made you giggle as your heart fluttered in your chest with excitement. “I absolutely do, I meant it when I said it last night, I mean it just as much now. I think we’ve danced around it for long enough, don’t you?” you replied, making him smile the most genuinely happy smile you’ve seen him wear since you’d met. “Just checkin’” he said, before laying a sweet kiss to your lips, wishing every morning could be like this one. Maybe it could, now that you were here with him.
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