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stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 3 years

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There is a light at the end of the tunnel

Hello, Stuck. Sorry, I don’t know your real name.

I wrote this long ass post to bring some light into the fandom and between the CSs, and I hope you can post it? I’m new in the Tumblr world, but not in the 5H fandom. I don’t quite know how it works yet and, for the moment, I only know your blog and those of @emisonme, @karlaswine, @sun-to-my-luna, @underthatimpression, and @mentesimploria because, in one way or another, you’re all connected to each other. I just wanted to tell you guys how much I appreciate every single one of you, the passion you have, and the hope you keep alive among those who, like me, love the girls. Also, the patience you guys have, especially against the haters, is admirable. I love the fact that you keep going. Because this is your sacred place, as it should be.

This is the very first time I’ve ever done anything like this. I’m what can be defined as a ‘silent fan’. I never commented on anything in the girls’ posts, not even on the fan accounts I follow. I don’t have Twitter. I have Facebook but it’s like I don’t have it because I don’t use it. I have Wattpad (obviously). I recently registered here on Tumblr, and I have Instagram. That’s what I use. It’s the only app along with YouTube that I use daily to keep up with the rest of the world. Especially the American part of the world. I’m Italian, but I speak American English well, and I apologize in advance if my lazy ass hasn’t noticed possible grammatical errors. I saw that a lot of you are into this stuff, so I thought I’d add it just because. I’m a Capricorn Sun, Cancer Moon, and Virgo rising.

I’m gonna turn 29 on December 22, and this is a BIG fuck off to all the people who have attacked you lately for your age. This is personal information that I give freely to make ignorant and small-minded people understand that, in this context especially, age is irrelevant. As you, little fucker who hides behind a computer to attack people just to feel stronger, have a life, we have it too. Like you, we have a life, a job, friends, etc. We also have passions. Passions that yes, my dear haters, also include shipping people. I don’t know why in your stupid brain we’re too old to ship people we love and to give opinions about it. I didn’t know it was something reserved only for those who still smell like mommy’s milk. But anyway…

I became aware of 5H existence just before summer 2015 thanks to ‘Worth It’. Being Italian, however, I had no idea who they were, and to be honest, I didn’t go searching for them. Randomly one day then, I ran into Camren on YouTube. I can’t remember which video I was watching, but I know for sure it was about ‘Heya/Brittana’ (Heather Morris and Naya Rivera/Brittany and Santana, my very first hard LGBT ship). And among the suggested videos, there they are. As ridiculous as it sounds, and although I liked them as soon as I saw them, I didn’t go searching for them. I did it when ‘Work from Home’ came out though. From there, I connected that they were the same ‘Worth It’ group and the same two girls I liked from those YouTube videos. I had officially become a fan. I was screwed. Screwed because, I’d officially entered one of the most messed up and yet most beautiful fandoms ever.

As I initially said, this is the very first time I’ve ever done anything like this. But after the recent events, seeing how many people gave up, it made me a little angry and gave me the strength to speak for the first time. I thought the first time would’ve been through the fanfiction I’ve been working on for over two years, but no. Lauren and her beautiful mouth had to terrorize, disappoint, panic, and make angry 80% of CS, thus fueling the hatred of all the other fandom towards us. So I decided to speak now. Maybe, just maybe, this very long ass post of mine is gonna help struggling CS. Maybe, just maybe, it’s gonna make them reason and bring them to their senses.

So. This, as I think you’ve understood, is about Lauren and what she said in the podcast. This is a reminder of the Laucy situation. These are things we already know and that I want to remind you of because apparently, my lovely fellows CS, either you have a short-term memory, or Lauren has the power to create amnesia in people’s minds and I knew nothing about it. Surely this power of hers didn’t work on me and a few others.

Oh and, before starting: 1) You may disagree with me. It’s normal to have different opinions. 2) You can search for information such as dates, easily on the internet. 3) I’m gonna use nicknames on PRs for fun. That doesn’t mean I hate them. I have my reasons for dislike each one of them as people, but I can assure you it has nothing to do with the fact that they were or are the Camren beards. An example to make you understand what I mean is Ty. I’m a huge Ari fan and I’ve been listening to ‘safety net’ non-stop for two days straight. I really dislike Ty as a person, but I separate the art from the artist.

Okay, that said, I can start.

Lauren said: “I knew I was queer because I fell in love with my best friend when I was like 15.” – “Her and I started to have a physical connection when I was 15.”

Lauren and Lucid Vivisectionist met when L moved to Carrollton in 7th grade. Lucille moved back to Puerto Rico in February 2012, returning to visit Miami occasionally (this explains the fetus pictures with Lucy and Camren at L’s house). In February 2012, Lauren was 15, Camila 14, and Lucy 16. And who did Lauren meet when she was 15? Oh yeah, Camila. C and L did the first phase of the audition, the ‘cattle call’, on May 1, 2012 in Greensboro, North Carolina. Audition where Camila took courage to speak at the (“Oh my God that girl is) literally so beautiful” girl from which she felt intimidated by starting that adorable brief conversation “Hi, I like your shirt”, “Thanks. I like your jacket” just before it was her turn to get in for her audition. In May 2012, Lauren and Camila were both 15 years old. Lauren and Camila saw each other again for the first time on July 25th, two months later, in Miami on the first day of boot camp, and it was Lauren herself who went to Camila: “You’re the Cuban girl!”. In July 2012, Lauren was 16 and Camila was 15.

Lauren said: “She came back into my life when I was 18. I was on tour and I was in my room in a hotel somewhere, and she called me.” Let me explain to you why I think this is true.

Lauren and Luxy reconnected with each other after Lucy’s car accident that took place on May 15, 2015. Lauren was really 18 in May 2015, and we can rule out The Reflection Tour dates because it started on February 27, 2015, and ended April 6, 2015. We can also rule out these other show dates that 5H did: April 11 in Jackson Township, New Jersey - April 13 at Live! with Kelly and Michael in New York - April 19 Lauren was at Coachella with Keana, Britt, and other friends - April 22 at the Worldwide Radio Summit in Hollywood - April 25 at Radio Disney Music Awards 2015 in Los Angeles - May 8 at Channel 93.3 Summer Kickoff 2015 in Chula Vista, San Diego - May 9 at Wango Tango 2015 in Carson, Los Angeles (May 9, rumors about Camila and Louis Tomlinson just because paparazzi believed they were together when Louis was actually together with Liam outside the Project Club L.A., and C who was at the club next door) - May 15 at KDWB Radio Show in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

The rest of their program and possible date: May 16 at Kiss Concert 2015 in Mansfield, Massachusetts - May 19 at Dancing with the Stars in Los Angeles - May 30 at G-A-Y in London (rumors about Lauren and Louis Tomlinson this time, born because 5H went to Libertine nightclub with Louis and Niall) - May 31 at Britain’s Got More Talent in London - June 2 at Capital FM in Birmingham, England - June 5 at Good Morning Britain in London - June 6 at Capital FM Summertime Ball 2015 in London - June 12 at Aloha Stadium in Honolulu, Hawaii - June 14 at LA Pride 2015 - June 18 at Jimmy Kimmel Live in Los Angeles - June 20 at B96 Pepsi Summer Bash 2015 in Bridgeview, Illinois - June 23 at San Diego County Fair 2015 - 28 June at Show Of The Summer 2015 in Hershey, Pennsylvania - July 10 at Rockefeller Plaza in New York. July 15, 2015, beginning of Reflection: The Summer Tour.

June 27, 2015 Lauren turned 19, and do you guys remember the events of those days? Because I do.

On June 24, 2015, Lauren celebrated her birthday in advance at the famous sushi restaurant ‘Katsuya’. Among the guests were the girls, her mom Clara, some friends, including Jill (the same Jill/Jillian Gutowitz who worked with Zack Sang and who 5H met on April 22, 2015, at the Worldwide Radio Summit, which lasted for three days but they were present for two: 22 and 23. The same Jill who wrote the article for AfterEllen on January 25, 2016, about her experiences with women who denied their sexuality. Remember the story of Lauren Jordan, right?), and Noah Benardout (may he rest in peace). Still no Lucia, not even on the days when Lauren returned to Miami to celebrate with her family before resuming the program from the 28. As I already said, The Reflection Summer Tour began on July 15, 2015, and Lucy’s first public reappearance took place on one of the tour dates, that is, July 27 at Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

From that moment on, we saw Lucille appear on multiple occasions in hops through time. After the July 27th date, we saw her during the trip to Hawaii with Lauren and Keana in September, followed by the concert that the girls had on October 10 in the Bahamas, where they stayed with their families and friends for a few days. After the Bahamas, the mess happened between 5H because they found out about Camila’s departure from the group which initially should’ve been immediate, but for which they fought and gained another year. That, was also the time when Laucy signed their PR contract. As we know from Lauren herself, that was the worst and darkest time for her. That was the beginning of her numbness.

On October 23, they were on their way to Italy and Lauren wrote on her dark diary, the one shown to us in Episode 8 of her Attunements. On October 24, they arrived in Milan for the MTV Europe Music Awards 2015 occurred on October 25, and on October 28, in Madrid instead, there was the interview with Alyson Eckmann, the journalist Camila flirted with while Lauren was sitting right next to her.

Going forward, in November we have:

- Rumors about Lauren and Julius Dein (his friend who is a YouTube magician).

-The release of IKWYDLS including the rumors about Camila and Shawn and Michael Clifford (who was already in the picture) who were ‘vying for her’.

- Beginning of Lauren’s coming out plan which included: 1) The release of The Vamps’ album on November 23rd, that is, a week after the release of IKWYDLS, and which included the track ‘I Found A Girl’. Joe O'Neill, the manager of The Vamps, liked that famous tweet. Despite the efforts to make us believe that Bleahren (sorry for the Italian pun I made here, but ‘bleah’ in Italian is equivalent to the ‘eww’ to indicate something gross, and therefore Bleah-Ren) Brauren was real and that the girl involved was Lucille and not Camila, they’ve miscalculated since Lauren and Brad ‘dated’ in 2014 when Lucy had not yet returned into Lauren’s life. But since the album and consequently the song came out on November 23, 2015, they tried to manipulate people’s minds as usual. 2) Jill’s article that served to connect and more or less ‘confirm’ the story between this Jordan and her childhood friend, Lauren-Lucy.

- December: completion of the 7/27 album + Dina LaPolt’s entry + renegotiation of the contracts (mostly DNA’s contracts) + FIFTH HARMONY MUSIC, INC. created by LAND on December 21 to prepare for the transfer of the 5H trademark, the FIFTH HARMONY PARTNERSHIP, of which they became owners from April 27, 2016 + change of management from Faculty Management: Jared Paul and Janelle Lopez, to Maverick Management: Larry Rudolph, Dan Dymtrow, and Tara Beikae. [All things that were possible ONLY THANKS to the exit of C from the group]

- January 2016, we have Lauren and Lucrezia who came back from Colombia to then taking a road trip for Lucy’s birthday week.

- Jill’s article came out and coincidentally, by pure chance, exactly two days later, on January 27, 2016, Camila and Dinah were hacked.

- On March 9, 2016, Lauren, Normani, Andrea, Dinah, and Keana went to pierce their ears, or rather, Laurmainah pierced their ears, mama Dre and Keana just accompanied them. During her turn, Lauren asked Keana to take her phone to make a video. In the meantime, Mani was filming Lauren, and again by pure chance, Keana, who was in the heart of the frame, took Lauren’s phone as she’d asked, and both the lock screen and the home screen portrayed a picture of Lucania during a photoshoot. Same picture Lucy herself posted on Instagram on April 10th to leave no doubt.

- April 24, 2016, Coachella together.

- Luciana went with 5H in London, in May, during the promotion of the 7/27 album. (+ Camren video of May 28, 2016)

- She was present during the start of the tour in South America on June 26th (in the evening during the concert, L danced Big Bad Wolf for her, but that’s not the famous video, that was on September 5) and 27th to celebrate L’s birthday together (picture of the 27th of them in Buenos Aires).

- June 27, 2016, on L’s birthday, Jill posted a picture with L from the birthday dinner of the year before, further confirming the story of ‘Jordan’.

- August 1, the national girlfriend day, L posted a picture of her and Lucy.

- From August 12 to 21, Lucy was with them. The night after the concert on the 13th in Rochester Hills, Michigan, videos in which Lucilla appeared during Lauren Fuller’s birthday celebration at the hotel for dinner. On the 14th in Noblesville, Indiana, during Gonna Get Better and Big Bad Wolf Lauren smiled in Lucy’s direction who was in the audience. On the 18th in Virginia Beach, Virginia, a fan met Laucy in a movie theater restroom, taking a selfie with Lauren (C posted a picture of her in the dark with the words of Bad Things “don’t think that I can explain it” the same night).

- On September 4 and 5 Lucippe returned. On the 5th in Houston, Texas, the famous ‘super HD’ video took place in which Lauren danced Big Bad Wolf for Lucy, even pointing to her during her verse. [On September 6, Midland, Texas, during the Q&A, Lauren wore the same dress that Lucy was wearing to the concert the night before, and at the same time, she sat next to C and got jealous when C complimented a fan by sending her flying kisses. Ahh… The irony]

Now. Let’s move on to the part of the podcast where Lauren explains about the kiss with Lucza at her uncle and aunt’s wedding, how her aunt “super innocently” posted the pictures on Facebook that her “unreal invasive fans” found and posted, how Perez Hilton outed her to the world by posting an article with those pictures, how she did nothing for a week, and that after thinking “Ok, it happened. People know. What am I gonna do?”, she wrote that letter against Trump as her own way of coming out.

On November 4, 2016, Lauren and Lucynda did the ‘famous’ photoshoot in New Orleans called ‘Bare With Me’. Lauren flew to NOLA right after Halloween, got back to Miami to vote, then returned to New Orleans on the 10th along with her family for the wedding. Lucianna was also with her on the 10th for the rehearsal/bowling with all of Lauren’s relatives. Meanwhile Orange Trumpeter was elected on the 8th, and many celebrities were preparing to write a letter through Billboard against him and his supporters. Labels and management saw it as a perfect opportunity to get her to come out also considering how much Lauren has always been vocal on the subject, and THEY contacted Billboard to get her to participate in exchange of the exclusive of her coming out. All that was missing was the evidence to make sure that there had been no connection with Camila, and that was the reason for the kiss at the wedding on the 11th.

On November 13, the wedding photographer posted those pictures on his website, including the one of the kiss. And I’m sorry, Lolo, I love you but, really? Who are you kidding? The pictures didn’t start spreading because her ‘unreal invasive fans’ found them on her aunt’s Facebook page where she’d posted them ‘super innocently’. The pictures started spreading after the photographer posted them! And you know what’s even more funny? That to see those pictures on the website, you needed an access password. So what are you saying here, Lo? That your ‘unreal invasive fans’ were so good, to even have hacked their way into the website for pictures they didn’t even know existed? It wasn’t your team, was it? Oh, okay. My bad.

Sarcasm aside. The pictures started to spread, Perez tweeted about it on the 14th, and in the meantime Lauren had time to write the letter that was approved by the labels and sent to Billboard (on the 14th), who approved it a couple of days after it was sent (on the 16th), and which they then published it in the article two days later (on the 18th). In all of this, on November 15, 2016, the girls all went to Epic’s party. Since we know very well that most of the cases of coming out as bisexual in the industry made by a female celebrity occur in succession with the connection with a guy, that night there was the PR proposal between Typo Dolour Signal and Lauren that he obviously accepted, and in fact, he was there that night at that party too (Picture of C with a tear mark on her cheek).

Now, the icing on the cake of the Laucy’s PR: Nicole Cartolano. Nicole is a friend of Lecy’s with whom she had already worked together and who also posted pictures of Lauren on November 17 and 22, 2016, one on December 31, 2016, together with Marian Hill taken backstage after Lauren’s performance with them on the 30th, the night before, for the Snow Globe Festival in South Lake Tahoe, California, and the one of Laucy (with the piñata) on January 10, taken the same night to celebrate Lucilia’s birthday at midnight and that Lauren also used to post it for wish her a happy birthday. That was the last public interaction between the two. *Slow entry of Tympans Dollhouse Signalized in the picture from January 4, 2017, thanks to that tweet*.

On January 21, 2017, Lauren and Lucy were at the same Women’s March, but separately (single), and we haven’t seen them together anymore. LuBYE. On March 22, 2017, both ‘Bare With Me’ and the interview article Nicole did with MTV News (she confirmed that Laucy had been together by having an on-again, off-again for years and also said a lot of other bullshit like the fact that the girls were nervous because they didn’t know how their parents would’ve responded) came out. On August 13, 2018, Nicole officially apologized to Lucy for being angry with her for posting the pictures and therefore for having outed her and for having taken part in the MTV interview without their permission. There was also the screenplay made by Nicole’s mom to make everything even more true.

Bullshit on bullshit on bullshit. Number 1, Lauren herself confirmed in this podcast that her parents knew about her, and said how much she loved Lucre’s ‘I’m out and proud’ part.

Number 2, Nicole posted a preview of the pictures on March 18, 2017, so if she really wanted to stop her before the publication on the 22nd, she would’ve had time to do so.

Number 3, Lucita came out publicly on her own with that Spanish post on Instagram on November 20, 2016, saying in summary that she was anything but straight because she didn’t want to label herself (she did it years later by saying she was a lesbian).

Number 4, as Lusia also confirmed in that post where Nicole’s mom left that comment, Nicole signed a non-disclosure agreement form. If she had actually violated it without having had a release and written consent form, she would’ve been sued.

Number 5, if Luciferase really wanted to have that conversation in private with Nicole’s mom, she might very well have done so. She could’ve contacted her and answered her IN PRIVATE for real, and not via IG where EVERYONE saw and took the side of poor, poor Luckless.

Number 6, the biggest proof that shows the hypocrisy of all this, Lucasta continued to work with Nicole. Their last work dates back to November 25, 2019.

Okaay, sure… sure, because it was normal for her to continue working with the person who outed her, wasn’t it? People’s lies never cease to amaze me. For that matter, Nicole also posted a picture of their ‘adventure’ as they made their way to the photoshoot location on November 1, 2017, and continued to wish them both a happy birthday with posts every year.

And lastly, on June 6, 2020, we have the Lucerne’s video leaked (+ old pictures and videos of 5H) where she burned pictures of Lauren and of the two of them together in 2017, accompanied by the tweets occurred two days later, in which she explained that she was hacked and that she burned the pictures for a closure. Then, exactly 20 days later, that is on June 26, 2020, the PAPER Magazine article of Lauren’s interview came out. What a coincidence! In that article, Lauren explained, along with other things, that she’d been in love with her best friend for 7 years.

Lauren, honey, the maths, the maths… If according to your words you fell in love with her at 15, got together with her at 18, and broken up at 20, how can these be 7 years? It’s 5 years… And as if it wasn’t enough, still according to your words, after 1 year and 8 months (from mid-May 2015 to mid-January 2017), 2 months of which public because of the wedding pictures, of the relationship you wanted at all costs, “all in” and “now we’re gonna be in this relationship”, you broke up with her because she was really toxic, and after less than a month, you started dating an even more toxic person without the proper time to heal?? How do you expect me to believe you? And I’m putting aside the fact that I know they’re both PR relationships. I’m speaking out of logic. How? How can I believe you? How does this make any sense?

Personally, yes, I believe Lauren and Lucy have a past. Lauren’s first kiss was when she was 13 (8th grade) with her boyfriend at the time, Dominic, but I think Lucy was her first kiss with a girl. And I think it happened when she was 15, but in 2011, so long before Lucy left. Lauren dated Paul Martinez from June 4, 2011, to the end of July (around 23/24). From after Paul, until her very first PR at X-Factor, Keaton Stromberg, she was single. I truly believe that before she met Camila, Lauren and Lucy did everything Lauren said. I really believe Lauren experimented with her in secret, but I don’t believe in anything else she said at all.

This is my opinion. And in my opinion, Lauren always knew she was queer, and Lucy was the first with whom she could experience the attraction and the feelings towards girls she had always felt and concealed deep inside herself. But they were friends. Just friends. Friends who messed around and experimented together in secret given the environment that surrounded them. Lucy then returned to live in Puerto Rico and they simply drifted apart because of the distance and Lauren’s busy schedule with 5H. When she came back into Lauren’s life, they rekindled their friendship. Just that. Also because, Camila, hello? Camila entered Lauren’s heart the same year Lucy left and never get out of it. Not to mention that Lucy had a girlfriend, Sarah Scott Narcise, before getting together with Nicole Marie Rendón in March 2017. I honestly think that Lucy was also giving advice to Lauren about her relationship with Camila, and I also think that now they really aren’t friends anymore for something we don’t know about, even though I have my theories… But anyway. Lauren needed a beard to be able to come out, Lucy needed visibility for her modeling career and, at the time, also for her music which, however, never saw the light of day. The labels approved because they would’ve done anything to keep their chosen one out of the gay light. Camila also approved. Boom, PR.

I don’t believe all the other bullshit she said during the podcast. Because if they’d been true, they would’ve made logical sense. A sense they’ve been trying, and failing, to give for years. If Lauren really didn’t want to come out, she wouldn’t have done a photoshoot with Lucy a week before the wedding with the intention of using that same photoshoot to come out. She would not have kissed Lucy in a public place during the wedding pictures in front of a professional photographer hired for the event, knowing full well that those pictures would eventually have been published by the bride and groom, her aunt and uncle, and the photographer himself. If she wanted so badly a picture of her kissing her girlfriend, drunk or not, she would’ve taken her fucking phone and take selfies. It wasn’t the fans’ or Perez’s fault. It was the management that was following the plan.

And I’m supposed to, what exactly? Forget all these things, things that have been proofed multiple times in the past, because Lauren, or Camila, or management, or labels, or their contracts, must continue with their stupid narrative? Because Camila must continue to look straight and continue to look in love with Shalt Menstruated because the señorito is about to release his documentary and his album? Because Camila’s movie is about to come out? Because Lauren’s own album is about to be released and because the subject matter of her female-pronounced songs must only and exclusively be related to Lucy? (Although I think her album will be out next year. I think a song with female pronunciation is coming out soon. And no, I’m sorry, I don’t think it’s Burning)

Guys, come on…

Think about it. She used Lucy as a shield to tell part of her story with Camila that happened in 2014. It all fits. Even the story told through songs from Camila’s cocky POV, including ‘Like Friends Do’, ‘Eyes on You’, ‘Cleopatra’, ‘Leave for Good’, and a couple from her last album like ‘Should’ve Said It’ and ‘Feel It Twice’.

I understand why many of you have been hurt by this podcast and by Lauren herself. I understand why a lot of you are angry about the things she said. I see you, I understand, I really do. And everyone is free to feel whatever they want, I’m not saying otherwise. But I really don’t understand why you’re hiding or why you’re abandoning the ship. Authors who don’t wanna write anymore. Accounts closed. Names changed. Hope lost. This, all this, makes me angry and hurt. Because you fell for it. And you know why you fell for it? Because Lauren changed her approach. Leaving aside the part just before when she said: “Even when I talk about it, and I don’t talk about it because I’ve learned to just ignore it because-” and there, I swear I had to pause because I burst out laughing, and I was like: “Bitch, you’re the one who pulled this out of your ass out of nowhere right this second, what are you saying?”. She went on by saying, and she knows us so well because of this: “I just chose to ignore it at a certain point because getting angry to them would it mean that it was real and validate it more for them”.

And it’s true. This non-angry approach of hers, worked like a charm. Lauren’s older, she’s more mature than before. Although she was very nervous, she managed to explain everything calmly. The fact that she was emotional and almost cried in many parts, it really gave an extra boost to what she tried to sell. And I’m not saying she faked almost crying. Hell, no. That was super true and hard for her. I’m saying though, that it’s really easy to manipulate people’s minds, and Lauren used her real pain, the real suffering she has gone through over the years to tell this charade. That’s why it seemed so real. And I’m supposed to fall for that shit just because that’s what they’ve wanted for years, right? Convenient much?

Guys, please. You’re smarter than that, use those beautiful brains. For example, the fact that Lauren said: “I was queer, but she was not”, wrong as you want it to be, and “Camila and I were just really good friends at that time”, yeah, sure, Jan. Doesn’t the very fact that she used the past tense make you realize that it was done to completely detach herself from her IN THE PRESENT? Everything she said was for something. Everything had a purpose. And the goal is always the same. Make us stop shipping ‘em. Putting a label on C only served the Shoestoremila purpose, nothing else. And those were words that came out of the mouth of the one who says she doesn’t like labeling people. The same one who was pissed that someone had outed her before she wanted to. Do you really think she’s that hypocritical?

The fact that she put all the CS in the same box, especially when she talked about the Daddy situation, WAS DONE ON PURPOSE. She couldn’t fail to generalize because their purpose is, and will be for a long time to come, to kill Camren. That means the whole fandom. Not just invasive elements. But really all the CS. The purpose was to make us feel guilty. The purpose is to make us accept that it was never real, and since we care about them, to make us continue to support them individually and not as a couple, even though she knows that the real CS do it regardless. This, is called manipulation, guys.

Think about everything else too. The inconsistency. The holes in her story. The lack of explanations. And the fact that during the story of how it all happened, she jumped from one theme to another and therefore managed to deflect and not completely finish one before moving on to the other, doesn’t it make you understand that she didn’t want to give too many details? And when does that usually happen? She knew we’d analyze her. She knew she couldn’t say too much. When she talked about Lucy, she knew that WE know she was talking about Camila, and with too many details, it would also have been obvious to the others because WE would’ve pointed it out to everyone. I mean, it’s obvious enough in itself, imagine if she’d fed us more information that we would’ve compared in the timeline.

Please, guys. I know that it feels like something’s changed, but it’s not. It’s really not. I’m appealing to all of you. Open your eyes. Reason. I know many of you still have conflicting emotions and feelings, and that’s okay. If you’re still upset, if you still wanna cry, then cry. Do whatever helps you feel better because, especially after the haters have come to bite your asses, you’re entitled to feel the way you do. But please, please, don’t give up. If you give up, you just play their game. You just do them a favor. You guys had invested so much of your time, so much of your passion, so much of yourselves to just, give up. Think of all we’ve been through, especially those who’ve been in the fandom for years. Think about how happy Camren makes you. They were there for you when you needed them. When you were going through hard times. I know they’ve helped a lotta people.

And think about this too. Lauren herself said at the beginning of the podcast: “The news and the media are constantly spinning narratives for your clicks so they can make money”. And what do you think this podcast was for? It’s always the same shit. Have you not noticed how the very same news and media have ALL talked about them? Didn’t you notice how My Oh My magically returned into the charts? How 50ft surpassed the 9 million streams on Spotify? And you still have doubts?

This is instead for the CS who get often angry about their actions. I personally think it’s pointless to blame Lauren and Camila for every single thing they do that has been PLANNED for them. Especially Camila as far as Shonas is concerned. There’s a pattern here too. Lauren had her light PR with Lucia. Lauren then had her heavy PR with Typic Dole Sight while Camila had a light one with Eatchu. And now Camila’s having a heavy one. C’s one is heavier simply because they’re much more famous than PRen (Tyren) were. So, guys, be patient. There’s really no point in getting angry and blaming them. It’s a waste of energy. It’s useless to blame them if they’re gonna continue to do so over the years to come. They’re just still trying to get past their original contracts and survive in the industry at the same time. Sooner or later, I HOPE, they will be free to tell the truth or the truth will come out on its own.

Well, I’m done. Jeez, that was long, wasn’t it? But I hope it was worth it. I hope I’ve cleared your heads a little bit and instilled some hope again. I also hope I made you smile with all those nicknames and my sarcasm. I especially hope that wherever you are, you’re having a good day, and if not, then I hope it has improved at least a little bit with this post. And thank you so much, Stuck. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to use my voice for the first time publicly/virtually. You, above all, keep on being one of the lights and NEVER let them turn you off. I love you guys. Stay safe. Stay strong. Stay patient. With love, F.

I leave you with these two pearls:

Number 1. Lauren said something else too. She said: “Don’t trust me. Go research. Go look this shit up yourself”. I know she said it for a completely different context, but I found it really funny given the situation.

Number 2. This is a small scene that automatically created itself in my head as soon as I finished listening to Wonder. I titled it: The sad and short story of the making of ‘Wonder’.

Enjoy:

*on the phone*

Shawl Mendicant: “Hey, buddy. I know you were a huge Fifth Harmony fan and I know you love my fake girlfriend, so I was thinking… could you help me? You know, I need her to stay relevant, but to do that, I also need to release music and completely take all the credit from other people because, you know, the most I do is change a sentence or two in my style to make people think that I wrote all my songs.”

Sam Smith: “………okay?”

Shawnita Menorrhagia: “So, I was wondering, can I copy your homework? You can totally refuse if you want to, but I’m hoping to appeal to the love you have for 5H and Camila, and maybe help a friend out?”

Sam Smith: “Yeah, sure, you can copy my homework. Anything for my girls. Just, change it up a bit so it doesn’t sound too obvious you just copied it.”

Shonas Mended: “Don’t worry. I’ve got this. Thanks, man.” - *ends the call*

Sam Smith looking at the phone with an incredulous expression and one hand over his heart: “I came out as a non-binary, you insensitive asshole!”

Shoes Mentionable from the other room: “Cameeela! He said yes!” *reaching then Camila and Lauren in the living room where Lauren is lying with her head resting on Camila’s legs who’s running her fingers through her hair with one hand and holding the book that she’s reading with the other one* “You were right, all I had to do was mention you girls.”

Lauren chuckling and continuing to pet Cleo who’s lying at the foot of the couch with one hand: “Told you”, to then adding: “And please, I know you’re excited because of the news but keep your voice down”, continuing to caress Sofi’s head who’s sleeping on top of her with the other one.

Shapeless Mentality: “Oh, sorry.”

Camila without looking away from her book: “Sam’s really nice. I’m sure they would’ve said yes even without the need of mentioning us.”

Lauren: “Hmm, I’m not so sure about that, babe. Yes, they’re very nice, but we’re powerful in their minds, so it was an added incentive for them to say yes.”

Shaved Mentholated: “Who are they? Weren’t we talking about Sam?”

Camila who was giggling at her girlfriend’s words:

Lauren:

Sinu from the kitchen:

Cleo who was nibbling her toy:

Even Thunder, Leo, and Eugene from outside into the yard:

*the end*

Chon Mendable: ‘Wonder’ - Sam Smith: ‘One Last Song’

____

OMG I am speechless. I’m really still digesting this whole story because it’s amazing but I wanted to start by saying hello to you and telling you my name, my name is Marite. It is a pleasure to meet you dear friend. I don’t want to write too much because your words are much more important than mine but I wanted to thank you for trusting me and my blog to tell me your story. That side of the story that, being new and not having been a harmonizer from the beginning, I never learned. I intended to ask for more information about Laucy’s Timeline but what you have told is a gem. A gem that shows that the bastards of the industry cannot fool the fans because we pay attention to everything and it is not easy for us to fall for their shit. I think the power we fans have is so great that if we all came together, we could bring down this whole fucking fake empire that they have created. That said, Laucy’s story is surprising. As planned and how each person involved had to do their part on the chessboard. Incredible. Now that you tell me that story, I think it fits the one I wrote in my once upon a time post. Sure, yours is true and has everything that mine doesn’t. I have tried to keep this blog open for all who wish to come and air their ideas, their thoughts, their tea. And you dear friend, you have been one of the best so far. You’ve given us that support that the fandom so badly needed and I really appreciate it. I also appreciate your humor, the nicknames have been so hilarious and I’m still laughing. Thank you for daring to tell this part of the story and reopen the can of worms of a PR that right now resurfaces with that Lauren interview. With a purpose, it’s true. And something tells me that we will see much more very soon. Thank you for your support, my friend. And you know, you have my blog at your disposal for whatever you need. And if you need to talk or anything else. I greatly appreciate that we can continue to keep this ship afloat among ourselves. Among a group of intelligent people who have been hurt by someone we have always loved very much even though we know the reason for all that. We can’t give up now because if we do it like you say they will win and I personally don’t plan to indulge them in that. Thank you very much for all dear friend and I hope you have a nice day. I send you a hug and I hope you stay safe.

#submission #laucy timeline #amazing #thanks you buddy #camren #f anon

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angelhummel · 3 years

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ugh okay i can’t find the post right now but i know i talked before about like s3 amps up the whole “kurt is a girl” “joke” in like making him seem more effeminate than he actually is with all the jokes of him wearing like sparkles and glitter and dresses and being the big pink gay unicorn and all that shit

but they also do the opposite with blaine like suddenly they amp up the effort to make him the obvious Man of the relationship with like his boxing and his anger and all that “alpha gay” bullshit

like they literally write in a new character that basically looks the exact same as kurt to tell kurt that he’s ugly and unfuckable and constantly compares him to women and tells him he’s gonna steal his desirable sexy king gay bf

and blaine is always just one of the bros while Kurt literally never hung out with the boys and kurt’s been here since the beginning but blaine gets more solos and duets and solos in group numbers and kurt loses the election and the lead in the school play and doesnt get into nyada his first try and blaine literally gets all those things like no problem

and like obviously we all know that rm is a shit person and he had his two favorites and basically everyone else could fuck off and his writing definitely reflected that. acting like some childish high school mean girl and punishing the actors that dared play a fan favorite character that people loved more than his favorites that he constantly pushed into the spotlight

putting quinn through hell again and again and again, almost writing santana out of the show, putting rachel through virtually nothing and always having her come out on top, giving blaine 40 million songs to sell on itunes but next to no actual story, pretending to put kurt more in the spotlight but only as rachel’s gbf

and i think about how lucky we actually are bc these characters easily could’ve fallen apart thanks to shitty writing but they were treated with so much love and respect by the people who portrayed them on screen and in anyone’s hands they wouldn’t be even half as iconic as they are now

anyway i got sidetracked this post was mainly about kurt and blaine but like i’m right about everything lmao. Anyway is it any wonder why i hate s3 like why is it so mean to kurt especially but also santana mercedes tina quinn blaine like its not a good season and i dont understand people who like ittt

#glee #lol glee #kurt hummel #blaine anderson #season 3 #my thoughts #this all stems from me trying to get screencaps from hold onto sixteen and that scene of blaine boxing #i had some feelings #angel watches glee #kinda

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volfoss · 3 years

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yuuko wamuu or risotto :>

I'll do all three! Tysm!!

Yuuko!

Biromantic ace! She's kinda slightly insinuated to have some kind of attachment with a dude but it's kinda iffy on if she does!

Her and Jorougumo despite them never really interacting who am I to stop two women who bully Watanuki/ want the best for him from falling in love, also I think Watanuki would be tormented by it so double win tbh!

Her and Doumeki (Shizuka) tbh, especially during the sequel series, she just really cares about him and also likes to help him out sometimes and I think their friendship is such a special part of xxxholic!

Her and Watanuki, he is 17 she is age undetermined but legal, and also his parental figure they r found family please stop it people

I think the way she shows care to the people she loves (platonic) is by giving them affection or teasing them! Also I think she has a closet of jigsaw puzzles that she does when she's not lounging around dramatically or drinking

I'd say how she's an adult but still can have fun and be a bit childish at times!

She does not know her limits w alcohol and you would think she would by now but she does not

Neither tbh! I think her character falls outside of the line of either because she's very loud and chaotic but also mysterious!

Also here's the lady I ship her with!

Wamuu!!!

Aroace because of his manga color scheme but also because I love him and I will push my own sexuality on him because of that

No one I think he should just vibe!

Him and Santana! They didn't really get much interaction but like in my head they do and they r brothers in my head so it does all line up for me!

Idk him and Joseph, him and Santana, him and Kars or Esidisi, like let him just chill instead of being gross please and thank you

Ok modern day I think he'd be really good at making bead keychains of animals! Idk why but I just can see him making them for his family!

I don't like people being behind me, so I suppose that's similar to him and the shadow thing?

The eye gouging thing gave me sm pain I hate thinking about it

Neither but I've seen some people classify him as a cinnamon roll

Risotto!!!

Pansexual!

Comedy wise I think he and Abbacchio would try to murder each other for whoever is top goth but outside of that, not really anyone!

Sorbet and Gelato because of the after package finding scene, how he was at the funeral the longest! Also because I think they deserve to be friends

I haven't seen any ships for him I really hate so can't think of any!

I think he dyed his hair for the anime like how I think Melone did, in order to best match his aesthetic!

I wanna dress like him so bad you have no idea

The whole anger over the computer thing pre the fight w Doppio like king you did not need to stab some dude for that but ok

Neither again like I think he's murderous but caring so maybe both??

#got so excited to do yuuko that all jojo knowledge slipped from my brain temporarily 😭#i will ignore i love spider lady sm that ive reblogged the gifset that's from 3 times by now

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amwritesitall · 4 years

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Fiona and Wilhemina Requested Head Canon Asks

Masterlist

Thank you for letting me talk about these ladies. I have another request of specific hcs for them, but I’m totally down to talk even more about them.

Tagged: @poulengp

1. Who apologizes first after a fight?

Surprisingly, Fiona does. She is the usually the one that ends up being in the wrong (most likely from pushing one too many of Mina’s buttons).

After Fiona goes too far, Wilhemina pulls away a bit (which Fiona notices right away). Fiona gives Mina her space for a little bit and then will get rid of her ego enough to apologize to the other woman. Wilhemina knows that when Fiona apologizes she means it because Fiona hates apologizing, so she accepts it with only a little bit of picking on Fiona.

2. What’s their song or do you think they find that too cheesy?

They would never admit to having a song, but they definitely do. Hear me out, “Black Magic Woman” by Santana. It’s such a Fiona song and it fits our girl Mina too.

Fiona takes Wilhemina out to a random lounge/bar and there’s some random cover band playing and this song comes on.

Fiona smirks at Wilhemina and extends her hand to her, “Dance with me, Mina?”

Wilhemina hates to dance, but she can’t say no to Fiona.

This is the first song the two ever dance to and even though Wilhemina hates to dance, Fiona always manages to get her out on the dance floor for songs like this. Sometimes on nights out, Fiona will request a band play it and wink at Mina before extending her hand to the woman to dance. Fiona is smooth as fuck and Mina can’t resist it.

3. How do they react when the other one is getting hit on?

Fiona flirts back with people because she loves to see Wilhemina get flustered. In the back of her head Wilhemina knows that Fiona only has feelings for her, but when a guy pushes it a little too far she sees red. She’ll wrap her arm around Fiona’s waist to get the guy to notice that Fiona is not available and says some remark basically telling the guy to fuck off. Fiona loves it when Mina is like this. She especially loves the sex that comes when they get back home.

However when someone hits on Wilhemina, Fiona gets defensive and a little bit possessive pretty much right away. This is because Fiona knows that Wilhemina hates to be hit on (if it’s not by Fiona). Unwanted advances make Wilhemina very uncomfortable, so Fiona does her best to make it known that they are unwelcome by the redhead and that they should back off.

4. What little things do they do that remind the other that they love them?

Fiona tries to bring Mina with her on as many trips as she can, but sometimes she can’t and when this happens, she makes sure to call Mina every single day she is gone. She’ll even send flowers to Mina’s desk to let the woman know that she’s thinking of her. The flowers are of course always Mina’s favorite color.

When she’s with the other woman, Fiona has a habit of brushing Mina’s hair for her before bed. Also, even though Mina doesn’t ask her to, Fiona always takes off for Mina’s doctor’s appointments so that she can drive her to them.

Mina does little things that Fiona doesn’t notice until she’s gone on a trip and realizes she misses them. Mina will make sure Fiona always has a pack of her cigarettes in her purse (even if she hates Fiona’s smoking habit). She’ll have Fiona’s favorite record playing when she gets home when she knows Fiona’s had a rough day. Her favorite bottle of whiskey and gin always ready.

They both have a habit of helping each other zip and unzip each other’s dresses, so when one of them isn’t there they definitely get annoyed at having to do it themselves.

5. How does their dynamic with Cordelia work?

Fiona being Fiona isn’t around Cordelia for the beginning of her and Mina’s relationship. Cordelia knows vaguely that her mother is with someone from what she’s heard from Myrtle, but she doesn’t know any specifics.

When Cordelia finally meets Wilhemina, when Fiona drops by the academy to check in and has Mina with her, she’s a little suspicious because she’s not used to seeing her mother being with someone long term. She doesn’t her mind her mother being with a woman it’s just odd that someone has actually put up with her for this long.

So, Fiona’s isn’t a great mother, but Cordelia still cares about her. Mina finally wins over Cordelia’s trust when she witnesses a soft moment between her and Fiona. She’s never seen someone treat her mother with such love, not even her own father.

One night after Fiona had spent a majority of the day arguing with the Council, Mina and her are sitting on the couch in the ancestor room. Both of them think that all of the girls are in their rooms, so they’re just being natural like they always are. Fiona is smoking a cigarette complaining about her day and Mina is listening smiling softly at the other woman. Cordelia walks downstairs to get something and hears a noise coming from the other room so she goes to investigate, seeing if it’s some of the girls. Instead, she finds Fiona leaning into Mina and the two completely relaxed and in love with each other. Mina placing a kiss on the top of Fiona’s head.

Ever since that night, Cordelia has respected Wilhemina and even invites the two over for holidays at the academy.

Wilhemina also encourages Fiona to reach out to her daughter so that the mother and daughter can have a little bit of a relationship with each other.

6. How do the girls at the academy feel about this relationship?

Pretty much all of the girls are too scared of both of them to say anything if they didn’t approve or anything. They know how powerful Fiona is and Wilhemina’s glares are enough to scare them away. Mina and Fiona also don’t encounter the girls too much because most of the time Fiona disregards her job as Supreme. When Fiona is at the academy though, people mostly stay out of their way.

7. How long does it take them to admit that their relationship is Real?

These women are the queens of denying their feelings.

It’s not until months after they’ve started seeing each other that they realize their feelings are more than lust.

For Wilhemina it is when Fiona is gone a trip for a couple weeks and she realizes just how much she misses the other woman. At first she thought it was only sex that she missed, but then she found herself missing the smell of Fiona’s expensive perfume around her, the sound of her laugh, and the click of her heels around her apartment. It was the little things she missed that made her realize how far gone she was for the blonde.

It happened to Fiona when she was gone dealing with Council business. Myrtle was chastising her for not doing her Supreme duties and Fiona found herself not even caring. She realized that she didn’t care about any of this mess, instead she wanted to be back with her lover. She wanted her damn trip to be over so that she could go back to Mina, even if it meant being in trouble with the Council.

You might like: Fiona and Mina with a Baby Would Include or Random Headcanons for these two

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danwhobrowses · 3 years

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WWE Royal Rumble 2021 - Initial Thoughts

I know I’m late, but employment is still a thing, and I had to prioritize that over an all-nighter, but it’s time for the Royal Rumble, one of the more exciting shows of WWE’s schedule, so let’s get on with it!

Spoilers for Royal Rumble, you have been Warned

I might not invest too much in kickoff matches but the Women’s Tag Match was not a good time

It was fine before the end, but who the hell decided that Charlotte should control 90% of the champions’ offense and have the hot tag!? Asuka is the RAW WOMEN’S CHAMPION, not Charlotte. After the tag Asuka literally had one spot and she was dead, completely taken out of the match for *checks notes* being thrown over the Announcer’s Table...you know that thing several wrestlers come back from easily.

The finish was just too much too, Ric distraction didn’t work, Lacey distraction didn’t work, Kirufuda Clutch didn’t work but then the brass knuckles did. Too much.

And why TF are we putting titles back on Nia!? We should’ve just given the titles to the Riotts, or the winner of the Women’s Dusty Classic. It also cuts me deep that Asuka and Shayna are treated this way, even as champion Asuka is a side character to Charlotte T_T

Main show though and I don’t like the package and interviews between entrances

Drew vs Goldberg was just...meaningless.

It was cringy enough that Cole had to spout drivel to make 60 year old Goldberg seem strong but to have Drew be ‘injured’ by a barricade spear - something much more tired wrestlers have and will get back up from in less time and continue a longer match - was daft. Also saying that Goldberg’s spear or jackhammer is the best move of all WWE is stupid, it was a WCW thing

Thank God Drew Won, but the post-match does remind you of the meaningless circumstances this feud came about. Suddenly Goldberg is okay with Drew’s same manners of respect

I mean, Carmella’s entrance and gear is cool, but do you think it eats at Corey a little that Carmella’s ‘behind the curtain’ bit is a tad...red light district?

Sasha’s promo didn’t hit for me unfortunately

Reginald didn’t deserve to be ejected for that! He caught Sasha and get beaten up for it

Jesus Carmella! Sasha got barely any of that dive

Screeching and faffing aside, Carmella got a good showing...I do hate quick tap outs in title matches though

Sami cuts a good promo, but his content wasn’t exactly the best. New Day are hardly the management’s faves, it’s taken this long for E to get a singles run, Fans literally had to Yes Movement their way into giving Kofi the world title.

New Day’s Brodie gear was good though

Bad Bunny as the ‘Biggest Latin Artist’? Is Cole for real? I didn’t even know who he was before today

If the song is about Booker T then why is he dancing around GI Bro?

Come on Book, you hang on the Sucka! That’d be like if the Rock just went ‘If ya smell what the Rock is cooking’ without the drags or pauses

Ric’s ‘with a tear in my eye’ promo was after the Rumble though...

It’s actually a sad stat that just over half of the Rumble winners win titles

No Morrison segment for the escape spot!? He did it as much as Kofi dammit!

Sorry Greatest Royal Rumble is not canon for me

This Stat Attack has taken far too long

I’m okay with Mike Rome but couldn’t a woman have announced the Women’s Rumble? Where’s Lillian at!?

NAOOOOOOOMIIIIIIIIIIIIII GIRL WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?

That hair is amazing as well

I know you can’t say it, but we all remember that Benoit won the rumble in the first two as well

Was...Bianca wearing earrings on her entrance, she looked like she was taking them off

Billie actually had the right idea, can’t be in the match until you enter the ring, it’s clever stuff

That tank did not look like it was meant to turn that direction XD

It actually surprises me every time how tall Shotzi is, I always imagine her short

Billie no...not with Shayna

The piped boos are highly unrealistic to boo even a heel Toni Storm

Shotzi eliminated and then horrible singer Jillian comes in? Urrrrgh, Bad Singer Jillian was terrible

Wrestling wise she hasn’t missed a beat though

Billie’s surprisingly being a highlight here with actual narra-OHMYSHITITSVICTORIA

Gear was a bit meh but Victoria definitely can still go

Oh Peyton the purple looks good on you, and her Widow’s Peak was not bad at all

Ah, good for Santana, for a moment I thought it said Santina and got a very bad chill

Damn Liv, Speed Machine!

Ooof, the betrayal is real Billie

THIS IS MY BRUTALITY!

Somehow I’m genuinely upset by every elimination so far, good job!

Aaaaaand then they got rid of Victoria and brought on Charlotte to immediately take out Rhea -_-

That was a clever move from Bayley but damn Ruby landed hard

Are we seeing a Bayley/Peyton team? Or is she just eliminating the Riotts for revenge for Billie, but also Liv Nooooo!

Torrie now, eh okay

Ouch for Dana

Lacey...no, this ain’t working

Poor Peyton, her elimination was a side chapter

And we missed Bayley’s elimination!? For Shame

Mickie! Good to see ya! Aaaaand being beaten by Charlotte...

Nikki Cross is back too! Hopefully they find a good story for her

Alicia Fox? I guess she sobered back into the good gra...R-Truth? No

Oh yeah, Humberto is a thing

Jerry shut the fuck up!

The 24/7 stuff was super unnecessary, we did not need to take focus off this match

Lacey eliminating Mickie, rude.

Dakota should’ve gotten more time, she barely lasted a minute

Reginald again deserves better

See Tamina vs Rhea would be exciting...if Tamina was booked better

Naomi’s chemistry with Bianca is really insane right now

Lana *reminded of her feud with Shayna and Nia* Also Lana *goes for Rhea*

That was a hard tackle on Alexa by Rhea...aaaaand she’s eliminated mid ‘transformation’ a bit worthless for me

Road Warrior Ember Moon! And right into the Eclipse that’s the good shit

Baszler probably shouldn’t have eliminated Lacey story-wise

The Betrayal is real for Tamina as well

What’s with the crazy camera cuts!?

Nia eliminating Baszler? Nah...

Hold on Cole, baiting Nia over the ropes isn’t a ‘tremendous elimination’

The betrayal is real for Lana too, Nattie sure shrugged off that double assault

I get that the narrative is that Charlotte has beaten both Bianca and Rhea before, but to hang against both of them after already being in a match and hanging on from two apron attacks was daft. Stop making her super strong, she’s mega talented yes but giving her the Brock Lesnar energy does her no favours

That close call though with Rhea and Bianca was great, need more spots of two wrestlers about to be eliminated at the same time

The final bit of chain wrestling too was great, that’s what you need at the final part of a rumble, the mini-match

I had Rhea as my win prediction but am more than happy for Bianca, who was my second choice. Winning at No. 3 is great and her emotional promo just gets her more over. Bianca vs Sasha’s gonna be wild too

Overall the Women’s Rumble was good, most of the women got shine and there were a few mini stories too, do wish that more time was given to some women and that Sonya was in the rumble but the returns were good and most of the eliminations got me good

Miz talking about guaranteeing a championship run like he didn’t lose the last cash-in and didn’t have a chance to cash in previously this night when Drew was ‘reeling’ from the barricade spear.

I reiterate that I wish Sonya was in the rumble, but do like her endorsement of Bianca

Again, this 24/7 stuff is wrong place and time right now

Last Man StANDing Match for the UniVERSal Championship

Cole, there is Champion’s Advantage. Triple H vs Michaels Last Man Standing, neither men made the 10 so Trips kept the title, 17 years ago. Royal Rumble 2004.

See, this is where a Finisher Spotfest works, because it’s not about pinfalls it’s about keeping people down

The camera switches are not doing good on this portion of the side of the thunderdome

Yes, attacking the knees, this is the Cerebral ‘rope breaks with his pinkie finger’ Owens I like to see

Ooof the Golf Cart, a la Kane and Stadium Stampede

Why is this training area just like a second arena

Lil’ running ref in the background

Right into that conveniently placed mini-ladder

Not the forklift! Think of Judy Bagwell!

Oh that curtain is the thing Becky took a photo of! I mean she was always gonna be backstage

Corey before the match ‘there must be a winner’, Corey after Owens went through the stage LED ‘The ref should consider stopping the match’

Did the Ciampa move there to stand up

I don’t think you’re allowed to use a Ref Bump that way

Then the Second Ref restarts the count and stops at 5!? If this doesn’t come back next SD it’ll be a misstep

It was a physical match, not the best I think the finish brought it down. The problem is that KO has lost 3 times now and the last time is a botch finish, and we can’t have him lose again - the poor guy needs a win

ON THIS DAY, I SEE CLEARLY!

I will say this immediately, revealing Edge and Orton as 1 and 2 beforehand was a terrible idea, just because you don’t have a live crowd doesn’t mean the people watching from home can’t be surprised

‘Number 3 is the worst number to draw on average’ - Belair just won at No. 3

Ali at 4? Then went after Edge and not Orton?

Sami, just don’t get in Orton’s face

Refs what are you doing? No rules in Rumble, where were you with Nia and Shayna with that logic

‘What does Shin need to do to be more successful?’ - for one not face AJ Styles, he is still a tag, US and IC champ as well as a RR winner, that’s quite successful

Carlito finally shows after the Legends Night tease and yes those are some abs

So...Randy’s just sleeping with this knee injury

Big E enters with some snappy camera angles again

I was hoping for more Ali - especially since Ricochet came immediately after - buy angry E was nice to see

Wait is that Elias’ entrance? Where’s the guitar strum?

Priesty, wonder if this is his main roster call

What DJ leaves his equipment on stage anyway?

‘The biggest star in the world in the music business’ - for real?

‘I’ve heard of flying squirrels but flying bunnies!?’ - Corey you need to watch Tokyo Joshi Pro, they got a flying sugar rabbit

To quote Ross Tweddell, MMMmmm Riddle...does not do it for me

Stop with the camera cuts I beg of you!

Mayor of Knox County!?

Ricochet eliminated by Kane, le sigh

The betrayal is real for DBry

Big Elim for Priesty though

‘Now it’s a Royal Rumble’ - reminder that Edge is a KOTR winner too, and that Nakamura is the King of Strong Sty-oh and Corbin eliminated him :/ what was the gauntlet about if you’re gonna Corbin him?

Otis’ new gear is slick

aaaaand Corbin’d again

Big Dom Fuck im Uhhhhhh Spinebuster’d

Damn he got him though

Dang that bounce sound from DBry

Bobby no why you gotta do Dom like that!?

Hurricane back from his Gangrel crossing and disposing Sammy Guevara’s broken body in Elite Deletion to do another rumble

One of these days, he’ll hit that Chokeslam and shit will go wild

Christian! This time getting the more emphatic reaction

Oh that smile, that hits you in the chest cavity...then Riddle ruins it

Rey comes in and WWE made him an advertisement ¬_¬

Edward James Omos what are you doing? well...I know what he’s doing, IC feud between AJ and E

Edward James Omos fuck you for eliminating Rey

The betrayal is real for Shamu

Cole how did you know it was Seth before his entrance hit?

I don’t think we were supposed to pick up Shamu welcoming Christian back but that was sweet

Then finally BWOAR

And Bwoar eliminates Cesaro, what was the point of his push? (it’s because his contract’s nearly up isn’t it?)

Again with the camera switching

Seth No! And where’s the boos pipe music!? DBry was a heavy favourite, that would’ve caused heat

Can’t believe Mmm Riddle lasted ahead of DBry

I didn’t forget about Orton, but the finish was good, that Orton tease got us good

It was a decent rumble, in hindsight you could tell Edge was winning given how they put express focus on Michaels winning at number on in the stat attack, Edge being face in peril for the first 10 entrants and Cole reminding us how long Edge has been in there

I don’t at all hate the end result, though I do question whether it was the best choice in the long run. Edge had his rumble win returning from injury already and throwing more legends at Drew does imply a heavy lack of depth in the current roster. Edge didn’t really need the win, but I’m not disappointed in him winning

The Men’s Rumble itself wasn’t as good as the women’s I don’t think, a lot of favourites of mine were unceremoniously dumped out quickly, any layered storytelling didn’t get enough time and it did feel a little by the numbers, almost a microcosm of modern WWE booking

Overall it was still a decent PPV, happy with the winners of the rumbles and that’s mostly all we need from a Royal Rumble. The Road to Wrestlemania starts here

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mascnsmccarthy · 4 years

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in the eye of the hurricane | self

WHO: Mason McCarthy, various family members. Feat. @snixxem and the Berry Men.

WHERE: McCarthy residence, Berry residence

WHEN: Thanksgiving Day, a few days post-thanksgiving

SUMMARY: thanksgiving with mason’s family -- his mother’s side. tainted by mourning, he then continues on a tradition with rachel’s fathers.

It was official. Mason hated the holidays.

Sure, there were a few good moments; his grandmother arriving the night before Thanksgiving with presents in tow from the past two birthdays that she just so happened to miss, but it seemed that his mother’s mother was stuck in the past -- instead of say, something he could use for his job, in her wake was a baton that he could’ve used very well back when he donned the Cheerios uniform. Madison always received her usual, but well -- creative arts can last a lifetime. She can use those tools anyday -- he didn’t have much usage for a baton or a new curling iron.

Especially since... well.

His grandmother wasn’t happy when he walked through the door the morning of Thanksgiving with his freshly-growing in buzz-cut. He wasn’t the last to arrive, nor was he the first; his cousins littering the household and making it seem full again. And despite his desperate attempts, it hadn’t felt full since his father’s fiasco. Even after they moved, it never felt full.

Various family members asked him how things were going, and they tried so hard to check up on him, but he brushed them off. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to talk about anything. Not to his family, at least. Maybe to Madison, but well -- Madison was never her friend. He hadn’t talked to Madison properly in weeks, anyways. A few more hours ( read: days ) wouldn’t do any damage.

His aunt was discussing whatever high-end job his uncle had gotten within the past few years, and how they were doing a lot better since moving to Washington D.C. A part of him ached; he only wished his family was doing that well. With the uprising of tablets and e-books, it was only a matter of time before the bookstore closed it’s doors for good. It was still sometimes a shock to him that his mother could afford the house she lived in, still keeping everything she wanted to keep and refusing to take out a mortgage. And yet, here his family was: basking in the awe of smartphones and six-figure salaries.

It made him sick to his stomach.

But maybe that was the third glass of wine in the past hour talking.

It was always his mother’s side that attended Thanksgiving, and most other holidays; never his father’s side. They didn’t talk to or about his father, or whatever family still felt like talking to them on that side. It was always at his mother’s house, because according to his grandmother: “It’s the biggest, and the closest. We can all fit like the happy family we are.”

Happy.

Bullshit.

Mason hadn’t been happy in a while.

But yet, he put on the smiling facade he was supposed to don come the holiday season, and sat at the kitchen island next to his mother while silently listening in on the conversation. He could hear his uncle and his grandfather in the living room, yelling at the television -- he may have been a Cheerleader, but football wasn’t his thing. He was more of a watcher of the players, not the actual game itself. But ever time he brought that up, well --

“Some things are better left unsaid, Mason.”

Sometimes he really, really disliked his grandmother.

He was hoping this year would be different. Hoped that maybe, just maybe, his family would be off his back. That his grandmother wouldn’t be pulling at the back of his collar, begging him to find something suitable for a wife and family, as if there wasn’t even the chance that Mason could find a husband. That his aunt wouldn’t be rubbing it in his face how Johnathan, the cousin only a few months younger than Mason and Madison, was two months away from a top-of-the-line promotion at a law firm in Virginia. That maybe Devin, the sixteen year old brother of Johnathan wouldn’t sneak off to the park down the street only to come home twenty minutes before dinner smelling like pot. That maybe his grandfather wouldn’t drink himself stupid, to the point where he felt no problem throwing every hateful slur Mason’s way because he decided to wear a dress to his aunt’s wedding.

He was only thirteen. He didn’t see it as a bad thing. He just wanted to look pretty like his mom.

Mason could hear his cousins upstairs in the guest room -- if one could even call it that. It had been renovated so many times, Mason lost count. Once, it was a study. Another, a small library to hold the books that couldn’t go in the bookstore. One time his mother even tried to take up crafting and turned it into a walking art store. Eventually it was settled upon storage, so who knows what palace of junk the younger kids got themselves into.

Damn his aunt and her six freaking kids.

It was on his fifth glass as he helped his mother fluff the stuffing that Mason decided he really, really hated the holidays.

But, then again...

Rachel always loved them.

Rachel loved coming over in the morning of Thanksgiving, helping his mother with the vegetables because she refused to touch the meat. They’d engage in conversation about whatever was going on at school; be it the musical, the play, student council -- whatever Rachel wanted to talk about, his mother would listen, and Mason would watch on in awe. He never got to tell her, but Mason’s mother damn near considered Rachel family -- she was at the house often enough.

If anyone asked him shortly after Mason met her, he’d say that one day, she would be a part of the family.

But that was saved for his journals.

Now, instead of watching in awe while Rachel helped prep his family meal before returning to her own, he watched on as his mother did it alone. He helped where he could, but the women in his family were always the better cooks.

His grandmother’s shrill of a laugh echoed from a joke his aunt told.

The shout of his grandfather still boomed from the living room.

The pitter-patter of feet upstairs still caused the old wood to creak.

But Mason?

He was quiet.

Even when he was asked to give thanks at the table, and to set a prayer amongst their family, he was silent. He passed the prayer on to fucking Johnathan, the family’s apparent pride in joy. And while he sat, doing more sipping at his wine and picking at his food at 2 PM instead of actually eating, he started filling with...

Anger. Frustration. Determination.

Sadness.

But with the sixth glass, the emotions started to fade away into a comforting fuzziness. Each sip took him further and further down that rabbit hole, taking him farther and farther away from the hurt and pain in remembering that Rachel Berry wasn’t there to rescue him from his uncle’s antics. That Rachel wasn’t there to message while his aunt rambled on. That Rachel wasn’t there to compliment his mother’s cooking.

That Rachel wasn’t there.

She wasn’t there.

And she wouldn’t be again.

.....

It was only after his family retreated to their AirBNB’s and Mason was alone in his room that night, surrounded by photos and memories of Rachel being in the same bed as him that he let himself cry for the first time.

------------------------------------------

It was the next day after Mason nursed his almost non-existent hangover that he decided to crawl out of bed. Even though it was the holidays, he was still a teacher, he still had an assessment plan to prep, still had midterm papers on various Shakespearean plays to grade; still had a life to live despite the fact that it felt like he was only going through the motions.

His phone vibrated on the bedside table; the one that held various photo frames lined with sharpie-boarders and sequins haphazardly glued to the edges.

Santana. Again.

He stopped answering after the third call; stopped replying after the fifteenth text message. She had been trying to get a hold of him all break; whether to make plans, or to check up on him. But he didn’t want to be checked up on. He didn’t want to make plans with people he usually saw on the daily. He didn’t want to get out of bed that morning.

What he wanted he couldn’t have. Never again.

But, then again...

He did have something he could have. Something to hold onto, something to bring some sort of happiness to the dwindling cold that he considered himself to be lately. Something to be the shining star in his world of darkness.

Literally.

The Berry’s invited him over for tea and leftover pie.

He knew it was a casual setting. That he shouldn’t be dressing up in a nice shirt and slacks; that he should go just as he is. But Mason didn’t know casual -- not anymore. Not when five out of seven days a week he was wearing business casual. He used to have a great sense of style, but lately... lately he didn’t feel himself. Like a part of him had been missing.

The door to the Berry residence alone felt like an old friend. The door that he once felt was bigger than the world now felt small; like he could engulf it whole if he outstretched his arms. That suffocating feeling was in the back of his throat, threatening to close in on him as he stepped over the threshold. But there they were, both men, dressed nice and classy -- welcoming him in with open arms as if nothing had changed. They welcomed him into their home without a second thought, without a word out of place -- as if he were home.

Rachel’s house always did feel like a second home to him.

“How are you holding up?” Hiram asked, passing Mason a tea cup. It was almost a tradition in the Berry household; a friendly tea following a big holiday. It’s where Mason found himself the morning of New Year’s Eve most years in high school and shortly after, before he’d doll himself up and head out to parties.

“I’m... coping.” Liar. He wasn’t. But he wouldn’t tell Hiram that. He wouldn’t tell Leroy that. He wouldn’t tell either of them that because out of the three of them, Mason was the one who was supposed to keep his shit together. Mason was the one who needed to be strong. Mason was the one who had to keep his head on straight while they were the ones allowed to mourn.

“We haven’t really heard from you since the memorial.” Leroy prompted; Mason let out a sigh.

“I’ve been... Busy. Work, the musical.” Distracting myself from thinking.

“I hope you’re not working too hard.”

Mason gave Leory a gentle smile, “I’m doing whatever I can to make her proud.”

And he held true to that statement. He was doing whatever he could to make Rachel proud -- both in public, and behind the public eye. Continuing what they started; bringing chaos amongst them all in Castleport.

But chaos could wait for another day.

After tea, the Berry men left Mason to his own devices as he wandered the home he had frequented so often. Where his own father was absent, both men stepped in -- he hoped that his own mother was something similar to Rachel. While they occupied themselves in the kitchen, Mason led himself upstairs to the room still shrouded in yellow; still glowing that vibrant color even in what he described as a dark time.

He missed her. He missed her more than he could ever imagine and more than any amount of alcohol could potentially numb. Because no matter how hard he tried, no matter how many bottles he drowned himself in, there was no escaping the sound of her voice, or the look on her face the last time he saw her.

By the end of the afternoon he had curled himself atop her still-made bed, plastic-framed photograph of the two of them in hand, asleep. There were tear streaks upon his cheeks when Hiram found him that afternoon.

Yeah, Holidays really, really, fucking sucked.

#( self. ⇾ p. )#( p. ⇾ all. )#p. 003 #p. iteoah #cporttask #cporttask11

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wheresmynaya · 5 years

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Two Ghosts Ch.14 | Brittana

Happy Easter! Enjoy!

To be clear, Santana had every intention of speaking to Brittany. It was a pretty well thought out plan which she spent a good 12 hours concocting. She gave herself until Quinn left for New Haven to reach out to Brittany but she started to overthink and doubt herself then one thing led to another and Santana ended up missing her window. She could’ve easily sent Brittany a text or given her a call, but for some reason Santana made herself believe that it would look rude of her, like she was inviting Brittany out of guilt or pity. Of course, Santana was making it all up in her head but in that moment, she couldn’t be told otherwise.

So when Quinn left for New Haven late Tuesday evening, Santana decided that it was too late. Quinn was long gone on her road trip so she wasn’t there to pester Santana and make her feel like even more of a loser. So Santana just padded around the house, hoping that Brittany didn’t hate her for being such a dumbass. She hoped she wouldn’t be alone on Thanksgiving and that she’d have a lovely dinner wherever she ends up and that those people are grateful she’s there.

It’s early Wednesday morning when Maribel calls Santana downstairs for breakfast. They’re not usually breakfast people, but there’s a small bowl of mixed berries and a stack of pancakes waiting when Santana arrives. The smell of fresh coffee brewing fills the kitchen and suddenly Santana’s not so cranky about the early wake up call.

“Good morning, mija.” Maribel greets as a groggy Santana plops down on one of the barstools near the island countertop.

Santana notices Maribel is already dressed and she wonders how long she’s been up for.

“Morning, mami.” Santana replies and plucks up a raspberry from the bowl, “What’s all this for?”

Maribel shrugs as she sets down a plate in front of Santana next to the coffee mug and one for herself as well, “Do I need a reason to have breakfast with my daughter?”

Santana smirks as she takes the empty mug in front of her and walks to the coffeemaker, “I guess not.”

Maribel putters around the kitchen quietly making Santana watch curiously as she fills her cup. She can feel something looming over them as she takes the first sip of coffee, peering over Maribel from the rim of the cup.

“I want to go grocery shopping for tomorrow,” Maribel finally says and Santana instantly groans.

“I knew there was something..” Santana grumbles.

“What? You know it is going to be crazy in there, all the last minute shoppers. I’ll need you as back up.” Maribel reasons.

“Awh mami..grocery shopping is my least favorite thing to do. I barely did my own shopping in New York. Especially going on the day before a holiday, there’s going to be people everywhere. It’ll be like the Hunger Games. What are we even getting? I thought we were just ordering takeout and watch the parade?” Santana whines and for a second she’s transported back to her middle school days when Maribel wouldn’t let her play outside until her chores were finished.

“I’ve changed my mind,” Maribel says simply, “I want to have a real Thanksgiving dinner.”

“Is this what the breakfast is for, to bribe me?” Santana questions.

“Don’t be so dramatic, Santana.” Maribel chastises lightly, “It’s not so bad. You haven’t been home for Thanksgiving in so long and now you’re here so I’m going to cook.”

Santana softens because Maribel is such a mom and of course she decides on the day before Thanksgiving that she wants to cook just because she’s there.

“We need a turkey and cornbread and mashed potatoes and mac and cheese.” Maribel begins listing off, “All the staples!”

Santana would be lying if her stomach didn’t automatically start rumbling, but she doesn’t want Maribel to go through all the trouble just for her, “Mami, we don’t need to do all of that. Besides, It’s only going to be us. That’s going to be way too much food.”

Maribel shakes her head, “Nonsense, maybe the smell of all the cooking will bring your abuela over.”

Santana freezes, surprised that Maribel even mentioned her abuela. They don’t talk about her much since, actually they don’t speak about her ever, but Santana knows Maribel still checks up on her despite not agreeing with how she treated her daughter.

“You’re a great cook, but not that good.” Santana says softly and it makes Maribel frown.

“Well, I’m going to put our dining table to good use even if it’s just you and me.” Maribel says to her, determined.

Santana can sense the things Maribel leaves unsaid, like how lonely it must’ve gotten being alone in this empty house, especially during the holidays now that her father is out of the picture. How hard it must be knowing that the two most important women in her life aren’t speaking and there’s nothing she can do to fix it. Santana remembers the holidays when she was younger, when Brittany would kiss away the cold winter air from her cheeks and her mom and dad were still happy and together and her abuelo was still healthy and alive and her abuela loved her.

It was such a happy time and it crushes Santana knowing how different it all is.

Santana feels overcome with guilt because she stayed away for so long and she knows she must’ve added to Maribel’s sadness, so she relents, “Okay, mami, I’ll help you.”

“Good answer,” Maribel smirks then leans over to kiss the top of Santana’s head, “Thank you, now eat up.”

After breakfast, Santana heads up to her room to get dressed while her mom breaks out a pen and paper to start on the grocery list. She decides to dress for comfort since it’s way too early for her usual outfits. Her eyes fall to the faded red sleeve of Brittany’s sweater poking out from under her pillow and entertains the idea of possibly wearing it to the store because it’s comfy and maybe having a piece of Brittany will make her feel like less of an idiot for not having the courage to make that call. She decides against though, in fear of someone recognizing it or getting it dirty, and tucks the sleeve further under her pillow before turning to her closest.

Santana opts for a hoodie and a pair of ripped blue jeans before going to the bathroom to brush her teeth. After, she piles her hair atop her head in a messy bun and goes to pull on a pair of clean socks. She sits perched at the edge of her bed, curled over pulling the fabric over her cold feet when she spots the frame on her desk again. There’s a familiar pang of guilt and she moves to rest her hands on her knees as she bites her lip in thought.

“What is wrong with me?” Santana whispers aloud before pushing herself up and leaving those thoughts there. She grabs her phone and unlocks it, automatically going to the message app and hovering over Brittany’s name. The last time they texted was last week when it was Santana’s turn to pick up Starbucks before practice and she had to ask what Brittany wanted because it’s always something different.

She goes back to thinking of what to text like it’s rocket science just to ask Brittany over for dinner, but her fingers are frozen in place, hovering over the keyboard. She wonders what’s stopping her and why she’s letting it but she ends up getting frustrated with herself because she doesn’t know the answer. Quinn said friendship with Brittany was easy and for a second Santana believed her, but now she’s not so sure. If it was easy, why does she have such a hard time with all the simple things?

But then Santana thinks, maybe it’s hard now for a reason? Maybe this is how it’s supposed to be? She and Brittany are friends and everything’s civil again and maybe Santana is just meant to leave it at that. She thinks that if things were supposed to be different it would be that way, there would be some sort of sign or something, like fate laying a hand.

Santana locks her phone and slides it in her back pocket before heading downstairs to meet up with Maribel.

The list Maribel comes up with is pretty in depth and Santana starts to second guess her decision of coming out with her mom when she sees how packed the parking lot is. It’s like the entire town of Lima is here and Santana cringes at the thought. When they park, Maribel decides that they split the list and meet at check out so they can get through the shopping a lot faster. Santana doesn’t argue as Maribel rips the paper in half and hands Santana the top half. She reads over her part of the list, memorizing the items so she knows exactly which aisle she needs to go to while Maribel heads straight in wielding a cart like it’s her battering ram.

Santana follows in after her with her own cart in tow before heading in the opposite direction. There’s people everywhere and she can swear she passed by a couple arguing over the last can of gravy. It’s sheer madness and Santana makes a mental note that she’ll never grocery shop before a holiday ever again in her whole life. She has trouble moving around with a cart and ditches it at the end of an aisle before switching to a hand basket. Most of her list are just small things like seasonings and small goods so she zips through the crowded areas easily and soon she’s nearly finished with her list.

With the amount of people there, Santana would’ve been oddly surprised if she would’ve gone the entire trip without seeing anyone she knew but she spots a familiar blonde at the corner of her eye as she passes the juice aisle.

It’s Sam, accompanied by his little brother and sister, and he’s got a hand on each other their heads as he reads different labels of juice bottles. Santana would’ve gone unnoticed if it wasn’t for some old lady nearly running her down with a cart.

“Don’t just stop in the middle of the walk way.” The lady scolds harshly before brushing past Santana.

“Jesus,” Santana gasps as her basket knocks into the end cap, the rattling of bottles of Coke earning her a glance from Sam.

“Hey Santana,” Sam greets cheerfully, “It’s crazy in here, huh?”

Santana stares daggers into the back of the lady, “Yeah it is.” Then she smiles down at Sam’s siblings before looking up at Sam, “Last minute shopping?”

“Yeah, my parents are in here somewhere. I’m just trying to keep these two out of trouble.” He replies and pulls a bottle off the shelf and hands one to each of his siblings, “You hold this and you hold this.”

Santana chuckles as the boy frowns up at Sam. For a second, she wants to ask about Brittany and if she’ll be spending Thanksgiving with him and his family but she doesn’t think she wants to know the answer. She knows she was the one that suggested the idea to Brittany and she knows that they’re just friends and what not, but it still makes Santana feel weird just thinking about it all.

Instead, she doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t want to know what her lack of courage has earned her. She has no one else to blame but herself.

“Well good luck,” Santana says through a smile, “Happy Thanksgiving.”

“Happy Thanksgiving, Santana.”

Santana heads off to grab the last few things before meeting up with her mom.

Once they’re home, Santana helps her mom unload the groceries from the car and they pile all the bags on the island counter. They’re both surprisingly tired and they make fast work of putting away all the things that need to be kept cold before collapsing on the couch for an impromptu nap.

It’s maybe just over an hour later when Santana’s phone vibrates beneath her side, waking her. She doesn’t know why her heart jumps in anticipation to see the name of who has been plaguing her mind all day, but she frowns when she glances down at the screen.

Quinn F. – Made it to New Haven! Traffic was insane.

Then a second text comes through.

Quinn F. – Have you asked Britt yet?

Santana groans and turns her phone over on the coffee table. That seems to be the answer for everything these days, just turn it over and ignore it.

The sound of splashing coming from the kitchen grabs Santana’s attention and she quickly makes her way over. She finds Maribel dunking the smallest frozen turkey Maribel could find into a buck of water she has placed in the sink. Water spills over the sides and splashes out onto the edges of the counter surrounding the sink.

“What are you doing?” Santana wonders.

“This turkey won’t thaw by tomorrow so I’m putting it in water,” Maribel replies and Santana scrunches her nose.

“Is it okay to do that?” Santana asks, “We won’t get salmonella or something?”

“Ay no, your abuela used to do this all the time.” Maribel says, “We’re still alive.”

Santana isn’t convinced but she backs off anyway, “Whatever you say then, mami.”

Maribel nods confidently and goes to wipe up the spilled water, “Are you sure you got everything on the list, mija? I can’t find the flour or the yeast packets anywhere. Could it be in the car?”

Santana freezes, she doesn’t remember those items on her list, “Are you sure they were on mine? I didn’t go down that aisle.”

“Yes, it was on the back..” Maribel replies and Santana’s jaw drops, “What? You looked on the back right?”

Santana brings her palm to her forehand and groans in frustration, “I didn’t think to.”

Maribel just chuckles, “No wonder you finished so quickly.”

“I’m sorry, mami.” Santana sighs apologetically, “I can go back?”

“No, no it’s okay.” Maribel shakes her head, “I’m about to start dinner. I’ll go in the morning.”

“Are you sure?” Santana begins to dig in her pockets for the crumpled list from earlier, “I’ve got the list somewhere.”

“It’s okay, I have to get a few things I forgot to add as well.” Maribel assures her, “But you can help unpack the rest of the groceries instead?”

Santana nods and sets to work.

Its when Santana’s getting ready for bed that Quinn sends through another text.

Quinn F. – I’m taking that as a no.

“Ugh, shut up.” Santana grumbles as she reads the text and goes to leave that one without a reply as well. She doesn’t need Quinn adding to her own annoyance with herself. She knows she has dug herself a hole and she doesn’t need Quinn going and adding her two cents like she always does. She’s lucky Santana isn’t meddling in her life, giving Quinn a taste of her own medicine.

Santana sets her phone to silent and leaves it face down on her nightstand before rolling onto her side. She closes her eyes and tries to think of happier thoughts, her hand delving under her pillow for the comforting feel of the sweater. She rubs the fabric between her fingers methodically, inhaling the faint smell of fire and Brittany’s perfume until she drifts off.

The next morning, Santana wakes in a similar way as the morning before. The smell of fresh coffee brewing and warm pancakes lure her into the kitchen and she plops down on her usual stool and plucks a raspberry from the bowl of berries. Maribel slides Santana a mug of coffee and Santana smiles in gratitude.

“I’m going to run to the store soon to pick up those last few things,” Maribel tells her, “Can you preheat the oven when I leave?”

“Sure mami,” Santana says, “Are you sure you don’t want me to go instead?”

“It’s okay,” Maribel replies, “I’m dressed already and the store closes at noon today so I need to be quick.”

Santana nods and soon after Maribel kisses her head, she’s out the door again.

Santana finishes her breakfast and cleans up the kitchen so Maribel will have all the space she needs when she starts cooking. She preheats the oven like Maribel asked her to and goes up to her bathroom to take a shower. It becomes one of those long showers where she spends extra time shampooing her hair, massaging her scalp, before letting the water run through it and moving to exfoliate. She rubs shaving cream all over her legs and runs the razor over them until her skin is silky smooth. She inhales the steam and it eases her tense muscles so when she exits the shower, she’s completely relaxed.

She stands in front of her closet with her hair bundled up atop her head and a fluffy towel wrapped around her torso. She remembers when she’d have to dress up when holiday dinners used to be over at her grandparents’ house and she decides to slip into one of her favorite cotton dresses because even if it’s just her and Maribel today, she wants it to feel like a special occasion. She slides nude colored stockings over her legs and slips her feet into her fuzzy purple booties she likes to wear around the house on colder days before heading to the bathroom to dry her hair.

When she finishes up, Santana goes for her phone and finally texts Quinn back.

Santana L. – Happy Thanksgiving, Q.

She opts to leave Quinn’s previous texts unanswered, but then she finds her thumb hovering over the main message bank where Brittany’s name is. She thinks about what Brittany could be doing again and she hopes she isn’t lonely even though Santana could’ve easily assured she wouldn’t be. She finally relents and taps Brittany’s name, the message screen opening and Santana finds herself hesitating again only this time it’s to find the words she wishes to say. How does she apologize for something Brittany didn’t even know was supposed to happen? How does she convey her fear of rejection in a single text?

She stops when she hears the sound of keys and the front door opening, followed by an angry sounding Maribel rattling off Santana’s full name.

“Come down here right now,” Maribel demands and for the first time in years Santana is a little worried as to what she’s done to warrant her whole name being called out.

Santana quickly comes down the stairs, nearly missing a step, to find Maribel waiting at the bottom with her hands on her hips.

“Yes mami?” Santana asks hesitantly.

“Do you know who I ran into at the store?” Maribel asks and Santana’s brows furrow.

Santana shakes her head, but as she does Maribel opens the front door a little wider and Santana just about collapses.

Brittany is there pulling a large paper bag out of the backseat of Maribel’s car. She adjusts it in her arms and Santana can only stare wide-eyed.

“Why didn’t you tell me she was going to be alone on Thanksgiving?” Maribel asks, this time her tone is softer.

Santana just shakes her head again, trying to tear her eyes away from Brittany, “I-I didn’t know.. I-I thought she was going to be with Sam’s family.”

“Well from what she told me, she’s not.” Maribel says and her hands drop to her sides, “I know things are complicated with you two, but I thought I raised you better than this. I can’t let this girl spend Thanksgiving alone. She’ll be having dinner with us now.”

Santana nods and the slight feeling of relief and regret washes over her, “Okay.”

“Okay.” Maribel repeats and nods to the blonde, “Go see if she needs help.”

Santana nods again and comes down the last few steps before heading out the door.

Brittany pulls away with a plastic bag dangling from her curled fingers as she bumps the car door closed with her hip. When she spins, she finds Santana standing there and offers her a nervous smile.

“Hey,” Brittany says a little timidly.

“Hi Britt,” Santana replies and nods to her hand, “Let me get that.”

Brittany mumbles out a thanks as Santana takes the bag then says a little louder, “I’m sorry. I should’ve texted you to warn you or something. Your mom saw me at the store and asked what I was doing and I wasn’t quick enough with a good answer and then she invited me over. It’s kind of hard saying no to her. I hope I’m not imposing.”

Santana chuckles because she knows first-hand how her mom can be, “Don’t be sorry. You aren’t imposing at all.”

“Are you sure? I feel like I crashed your dinner.” Brittany asks and pauses halfway up the path to the front door. She looks so unsure of herself as she adds, “I don’t have to stay. I can go if you’d like.”

“Don’t.” Santana says suddenly as her heart starts to race. She looks up into pretty blue eyes and the words fall freely, “Please stay.”

Brittany’s eyes flicker between Santana’s and Santana watches as Brittany slowly inhales. She doesn’t know why it suddenly feels like time has stopped but she eyes Brittany curiously; she looks like she’s mentally weighing out the pros and cons and Santana wonders why Brittany’s doing that when she’s the one that’s a nervous wreck.

But then Brittany nods and her cheeks bunch cutely into a smile. She bashfully says, “Okay, I’ll stay.”

#two ghosts #brittana #santana lopez #brittany s pierce #fics #fanfics #glee

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leigh-kelly · 5 years

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Have I Told With All My Heart and Soul How I Adore You?

Some new Fire Island AU.

Once Brittany is fully well, you feel that you can relax in a way you couldn’t in the first few days after her fever broke. You’d spent the time at work concerned that something bad would happen to her on the Alcott and each evening you’d come home and insist she sit while you cooked her favorite foods, things that would bring back her strength. But with her better, you can breathe, you don’t feel the heaviness in your heart of a terrible fear. Because that truly is your deepest fear, a world without her, and you pray to God that you never have to live that way.

Your pupils at school have fallen into a good routine and you find that you have to scold them less, something you greatly dislike doing. There’s a wildness about them, a wildness like in Brittany and you’d hate to break such strong spirits by coming down too hard with the discipline. But with them more well behaved, you find yourself less exhausted at the end of your work days and on a Friday evening two weeks after Brittany got well, you find yourself in your bedroom readying yourself for Brittany to take you for dinner, something she’s been itching to do for weeks.

“Striper season really does knock the wind outta me.” Brittany tells you when she finishes bathing. “My hands are rougher than normal.”

“We’ll have to rub them down tonight.” You take her calloused palms and you kiss each one of them, feeling the roughness against your lips and chin. “You’re sure you’re up for walking back down to the docks?”

“Sure am. I’ve been wanting to take ya out since before I got sick, just have been so busy that it hasn’t happened.”

“You’re sweet.” You smile and you kiss her lips, breathing in the scent of Ivory soap. “Let me braid your hair for you?”

“I sure do love it when ya do.” She grins, pulling on her trousers and buttoning up her shirt.

Once she’s dressed, she sits cross legged on the bed and you stand behind her, gently pulling her hair into one long braid. The light from the window catches her blonde hair, making it glow and you stop to think how beautiful she is before you tie off the bottom of the braid and tug it gently, letting her know you’re finished. She stands up again and she kisses your lips, making you smile against them, making you feel every bit of love you have in your heart for her.

As you walk down the beach, you hold hands. You don’t think Mercy and Sam will be out and even if they are, you’re far enough from their house that they won’t see you. You love when you can walk hand in hand with Brittany, you love feeling like you belong so fully to each other even when you’re outside the walls of her house. When you get close enough to the populated areas, she squeezes your hand and then chooses to link arms with you instead, the small sort of public intimacy you can manage as you leave the beach and walk along the wooden pathway toward the dock. When you reach the bar, there’s a boisterous crowd and some of the men clap Brittany on the back as she tries to find a table for you. For your part, you wave to Arthur behind the bar and he gives you a salute, making you smile.

“Sure is busy in here.” Brittany pulls out your chair for you and then sits down across. “I forgot what Fridays are like.”

“I certainly didn’t. I used to be bone tired when I’d leave here on Friday nights. Arthur seems to have good control of the bar though.”

“Best thing ya could’ve done for him, recommending him to Mr. Edja. He sure didn’t have anything planned for when he came back, we were all raised to be out on the sea.”

“Seeing him wounded reminded me of what my father would have done had he returned like that and couldn’t practice medicine anymore. He deserves to make a life for himself.”

“Well from what I hear, Kitty Wilde’s awful sweet on him.”

“I don’t know Kitty well.” You shake your head. “But I certainly hope she treats him kindly.”

“If my Pop’s house wasn’t two stories, I’d rent it to him, help him get settled. I think he’s ready to move out of his Mama’s house and then maybe he’d be more comfortable courting her.”

“Perhaps we can help him look for a place. I’m sure there must be something that’s just one story.”

“Further inland there are. I know he’s keepin’ an eye out. After all the help the boys gave me with our house, I’d sure be ready to help Art move on out.”

You talk a bit more about Arthur and then when Jacob comes over to take your order, you ask for a whiskey sour along with your fish and chips. Brittany smiles at you, glad you’re relaxing, and orders a beer with her supper. It feels nice to be out of the house and enjoying each other’s company and you sip your whiskey when it comes, feeling it quickly go to your head. Tucked away from it all, you quickly squeeze Brittany’s hand under the table and she squeezes yours back, grinning in contentment as she does. When you finish your whiskey, you perhaps foolishly order another, even before your supper comes out and your head gets light as you drink it.

“You look awfully tired tonight.” You tell Brittany. “This season makes me worry for you.”

“It’s tiring but it’s nothin’ I can’t manage. Ya don’t need to worry about me.”

“I worry when you come home with scrapes and cuts, those fish are so big and dangerous.”

“The season’s almost over, then I’ll be safe indoors. I think Mr. Brewster might promote me this year.”

“You certainly deserve it. You work harder than any other person I’ve seen.”

“Hey pretty gal.” A young man’s voice interrupts you and you turn your head to look at the unfamiliar presence. “Can I buy ya a drink?”

“I’m having dinner.” You say softly, realizing you’ve never been propositioned before, especially in a bar. “No thank you.”

“Aw c’mon, ya are just havin’ dinner with Pierce, I’m sure she can spare ya.”

“Leave her be, Jesse.” She seethes and you can almost feel the way her anger burns as he seems to get closer into your space.

“I know ya act like a man, Pierce, but ya ain’t her beau to be tellin’ me not to talk to her.”

“I’m telling ya to leave her be because she’s asked ya to.” You can feel sadness seep into her words and you take another sip of your drink.

“She’s right, I’d prefer you leave me be while I have my dinner.”

“One drink ain’t gonna hurt ya, siss. Ya don’t have to feel sorry on account of Pierce, she’ll get over it.”

“I’m choosing not to have a drink with you because I’m enjoying my time with Brittany and I’m not the kind of girl who takes drinks from strangers. Please leave us be.”

“She’s asked ya nicely enough times.” Brittany stands up and you watch as she steps closer to him.

“Ya think I’m gonna hit a girl? Contrary to what ya think, ya ain’t no man.”

“No one ever said I was a man, Jesse.”

“Well ya sure do act like it.”

“Just go away. We haven’t done nothin’ to bother ya.”

“Ya don’t see yourself gettin’ in between me askin’ a pretty gal for a drink?”

“St. James!” Arthur wheels over to the scene. “How many times have I had to tell you to quit making scenes in here? It’s time for you to go.”

When Arthur finishing throwing Jesse out of the bar, calling on Jacob and Ryder to help him, Brittany sits back down. You can see that she’s shaken and she moves her food around with her fork, not saying anything even when you try to engage her. The buzz you’d had from your drinks has disappeared and you pat her thigh beneath the table, wishing she would speak to you. When you finish your meal, she gets up to pay the bill and you slip into your coat, coming up softly behold her at the bar.

You walk into the night for a while before you take her hand. It’s limp in yours and you hear her sniffle, making you notice that she’s crying. The sound breaks your heart, she cries so infrequently and you want to gather her up in your arms. To tell her that you love her. To remind her that Jesse St. James means nothing, not when you have her. But instead, you wait for her to talk. You give her the space she needs to process whatever feelings she has.

“I forget sometimes that I’m odd.” She finally says through her tears. “I don’t think that I’m a man, Santana, even if I’m not much of a lady.”

“I know that, Brittany.” You soothe, kissing the back of her hand. “You’re my gorgeous fishergirl.”

“I don’t want to be a man, but I want to be able to protect ya. It’s not the same since my Pop died, I’m not as protected as I was and I can’t protect ya like I could.”

“You protected me just fine, my love. And if you couldn’t have, I’d have learned to protect myself. I didn’t want him anywhere near me with his lecherous eyes.”

“I felt such a flash of jealousy when he looked at ya as he did. I know you’ve promised to love me eternally, but I still think of the things I can’t offer ya.”

“I’ve told you time and again, you offer me more than anyone else can. I’d never think of abandoning the life we’ve built for some stranger in a bar.”

“It hurts sometimes to feel odd, when I least expect it.”

“My blood boiled within me when he spoke as if you masquerade as a man. You’re you, whoever you choose to be, however you choose to go about your days. I think that you’re so brave doing the work no one believes women can do and you make me swoon the way you dress and carry yourself.”

“Santana.”

“I mean it, Brittany. I see you as the woman you are, no matter how anyone else sees you.”

“I just feel...so strange. No one bothered to say these things to me when my Pop was alive and now suddenly I feel outcast.”

“I worried all of my days what people thought of me, when we didn’t have much money and I mended my dresses, when one of my little sisters would make noise in church, but being with you has taught me that if doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. You’re true to yourself in a way I can scarcely comprehend.”

“Maybe it was always easy to be true to myself when no one was bothering’ with me.” She sighs and you feel the heaviness of her body even just by holding her hand.

“Nothing matters to me but you and I in our little house. You, Brittany Pierce, always make me feel protected and loved and I want to do the same for you.”

“Ya do. I never woulda gotten through the past months if it weren’t for ya. I never liked Jesse St James ya know.”

“He seems awful good for nothing.” You shake your head. “I sincerely hope he never offers to buy me a drink again and I hope his cruel words don’t get into your head.”

“I’m not like other women.”

“I know you aren’t. But I love you for who you are. My beautiful girl who wears britches and suspenders and sometimes curses like a sailor. I fell in love with the woman you are and I’d never ask of you to be anything different.”

“Loving ya makes me feel stronger.”

“You’re the strongest person I know.” You squeeze her hand as you approach your house. “And you’re fearless. You were fearless when you kissed me, you were fearless when your built this life for us, you’re fearless every day when you go out on the Alcott and live the life you were meant to live. I love you so wholly that sometimes it feels like I may burst.”

Together, you go into the house and she sinks down on the sofa. It’s been a long week for both of you and there’s something about the privacy of your home that you both need. You turn on the radio and you leave her for a bit, going upstairs to get out of your skirt and stockings and into your nightgown. You haven’t been intimate with her since the death of her father, she’s told you that she was trying to heal, but you feel quite a pull to her tonight, as if she needs you to show her with more than words how deep your love for her goes.

When you return downstairs, she smiles at you, standing in your nightgown and though sometimes you feel silly coming out of the bedroom without being dressed, the way she looks at you makes you feel as if you’d made the right choice. You sit down beside her on the sofa and she turns so her knees brush yours, looking at you so intensely with those deep blue eyes of hers. You give her the softest smile and her hand finds a place on your cheek, drawing your lips to hers so she can kiss you in a way she hasn’t in quite some time. You kiss her back, breathing in the softness of her mouth, feeling the way her other hand comes up to cup your breast over your nightgown.

“I want to love ya tonight.” She whispers. “I miss the feeling of your skin against mine.”

“I’m yours.” You murmur back. “Body and soul.”

You turn off the lights and the music and you follow her up the stairs to your bedroom. It’s the one place in the world that’s just yours and as you sit on the edge of the bed, you feel the gravity of what she’s asked. She needs to feel as if she’s enough for you, after what that horrid man said, she needs to see the way your body aches for hers, the way her kisses make you lightheaded and her touches make your knees weak. You’ll give her that, of course you’ll give her that, because you crave intimacy with her more than you crave anything else in the world.

She stands before you and she slides her suspenders down over her arms. She unbuttons her shirt and she lets it fall to the floor before she takes off her pants and underthings. You feel a bit strange with her standing naked before you while you’re fully clothed, but she gently pushes you back against the pillows of the bed and she crawls over you, letting you feel the heat of her body through the soft cotton of your nightgown. Brittany kisses you again while you lay like that and you bring your arms up to wrap around her neck. You want her to know you much strength you take from her, how deeply you need her and you think of how much you’d like to touch all of her womanly form.

“I’m going to undress ya.” She presses into the skin of your neck. “I want to see all of ya.”

Brittany gently pushes your nightgown up and you arch your back to make it easier to slide it off of you. She takes both of your breasts in her hands and squeezes softly before she moves to slip off your cotton briefs. Her eyes remain locked with yours the whole time and you tip your head up to affectionately brush noses with her. There’s always something so serious about your intimacies, but in brushing her nose you make her smile. The smile doesn’t leave her face as she trails her fingers over your thighs, seeking the heat between your legs. She doesn’t touch you there just yet, instead, she squeezes your breasts again, she kisses you breathless, she holds your face so the whole world is her, her, her.

“I’ve missed this.” She tells you, lips grazing your ear.

“So have I. You’re sure you’re ready?”

“All I want in the world right now is to show ya I love ya with my body. I’m gonna touch ya like ya like, okay?”

“Please.” You breathe, feeling her fingers inch higher until they’re stroking through your wet folds.

You hold your breath as she pleasures you, two fingers grazing over the delicate bundle of nerves, two fingers slipping inside of you as your legs fall apart. She holds your gaze all the while that she touches you and though your stomach coils and your eyes threaten to close, you don’t want to lose sight of her. Her long braid tickles your skin, the freckles on her face seem darker against her desire reddened cheeks and you bring your hand up to hold her cheek, wanting to touch her in some small way as your heart pounds both in your chest and between your legs. It doesn’t take long for the coil in your stomach to snap and you feel her hold your body closer, knowing that you wish to have her as near to you as she possibly can.

She holds you close to her as the tremors wrack your body, but when you go to touch her in return, she takes your hand. Brittany doesn’t always want to be pleasures, so many nights she aches just to hold you after she touches your body. You don’t argue it, you each have your things that you prefer and you’re content to curl into her arms beneath the blankets if that’s what she wishes. Once you’re settled in her embrace, you feel her fingers drawing on the taut skin of your stomach, slipping further up until she touches your wedding ring and your cross.

“Winter’s comin’ up.” She says, looking out the window at the vast ocean. “I gotta get that phone company out here before then, I know ya got nervous last winter.”

“I don’t like knowing that you could be across the water with no way to get home. I feel safer with you near me.”

“I know, love. I don’t like leavin’ ya when it storms, there’s just no tellin’ when we’re gonna get hit with a big one.”

“Winter is lonely on this island.” You find yourself saying, though perhaps you hadn’t meant to.

“Does it give ya the blues? My Pop used to say that my Mama would get them when it snowed.”

“Maybe a bit.” You grasp her hand where it’s settled on her stomach.

“Are ya homesick when winter comes?”

“I’d be homesick for you, if I weren’t with you. But sometimes I do miss having everyone gathered around the table back in the city, the girls coming in from school with their little red noses to hot chocolate. I suppose there’s something about a group around the table that brings me joy on dreary afternoons.”

“Perhaps ya can make it happen with Mercy. Ana’s still too little to be runnin’ in from the cold, but if we had them over for dinner each week, maybe ya’d feel less lonesome.”

“That may be true. I don’t want to to think I love you any less...”

“I get to pass my days laughin’ and jokin’ with the boys, ya get shut up in the classroom where ya are the only adult. I think it’d be nice to have a house full that isn’t just the boys playin’ poker.”

“Do you ever wonder what Mercy and Sam would say if they knew how we truly love each other?”

“I think it’s awful rough for them to love each other. They might understand it more than anyone else.”

“I fear telling them though.” You sigh deeply. “Perhaps they’ll think it’s unnatural and regret that they named their daughter after me.”

“I’m not suggesting we say a word.” She shakes her head, squeezing your hand a bit tighter. “I’m just saying that if they figured it out it might not be a big deal.”

“I wonder how hard it was for them when they decided they wouldn’t hide their love. Now they have a baby...”

“Makes sense that they’d choose it out here where they’re far away from too many prying eyes. I think it might be harder for us to be in love if we didn’t have a place to escape to.”

“I treasure the home we have together. I treasure these moments alone I get with you.”

“I was glad to run back here and away from Jesse St. James. He’s been bullyin’ me since we were kids.”

“I don’t understand why he has it out for you, you’re so kind to everyone.”

“His Pop’s a mean old bastard, pardon my language, and it made Jesse mean in return. Bullies find the person most different and let ‘em have it. Willy thrashed him once for it and he left me be for a while. We haven’t crossed paths since before I lost Pop, I guess he just figures now that I don’t have either of ‘em keepin’ an eye on me, he can do what he wants.”

“I’m certainly glad Arthur threw him out of the bar.”

“With Art, Davey and Mikey, he cant do much to me. Besides, he said he’d never hit a woman so at least he won’t touch me.” She shrugged, but you felt her shrink a little.

“I don’t like him making you feel the way he did tonight though. I want you to know that no matter what words he says to you, you shouldn’t believe them.”

“I try not to let words get to me. Only words that really matter anyway are the love words you say to me.”

“My heart is full of them. Whenever you need to hear such things, just come to me and I’ll fill you up with them.”

“I sure do love ya, Santana.”

“I love you too.”

You fall asleep in her embrace and when you wake the next morning, rain pounds on the window before your bed. You think of how you would have liked to have gone for some things on the mainland, but how the weather will keep you cooped up inside. It’s enough that you walk to work in the rain sometimes, you think it’s not wise for your health that you do it more than you have to.

Leaving Brittany sound asleep in bed beside you, you slip into your discarded nightgown and cover yourself with your robe, you go downstairs and you put the percolator on the stove. Though it’s still early autumn, it’s chilly in the house and you think a hot breakfast and a cup of coffee will do wonders to warm you up. Before you begin to cook, you go to the fireplace and you light it, thinking it would be nice to have the first fire of the season as the rain hammers on the big windows that surround you. Once the fire is lit, you go back into the kitchen and satisfied that the coffee is done, you pour yourself a cup and swirl thick cream in the mug. Then you set about making breakfast, cracking eggs, scrambling them and letting butter melt in the hot skillet.

You’ve just about finished the toast when Brittany pads down the stairs. She’s already dressed in trousers and a button down shirt, though she looks a little haphazard, and she grins and you standing at the stove. In the darkest days, she brings sunshine to your life and when you take the toast from the oven, you go to get arms, accepting the warmth of her morning kisses.

“It’s comin’ down awful hard out there.” She observes. “Glad it’s not a work day for ya.”

“The umbrella only protects from so much. It’s bound to be a cold rain too, with the weather we’ve been having.”

“Seems like a good enough day for ya to read out loud on the sofa. I oughta have put pajamas on instead of these clothes.”

“Oh, I could never stay in my nightgown all day.” You laugh a little, though Brittany seems content with that idea. “But reading does sound nice. Come eat, before it gets cold.”

Over breakfast, you chatter happily with one another. You’ve watched her as she’s slowly healed from the death of her father and though you know the pain is still deep, she smiles more easily than she has. You think of the way her father spoke so candidly to you in his last hours about who Brittany was and you think of how you’d promised never to hurt her. Even if you hadn’t spoken those words to him, you wouldn’t, but you think of how making that vow to him made your love for your Brittany all the more real.

When breakfast is through, you go upstairs to dress and pin your hair. You know it’s silly that you do such things but your mother always taught you to dress as if company were coming over. Coming back downstairs, you find Brittany sprawled out of the sofa, music playing on the radio, and when she sees you, she stands up. Her arms open to you and you step into them, accepting her silent invitation to dance. As the rain bears down outside of your little house, you feel safe in her arms and you let her spin you and dip you, watching how her eyes sparkle.

“I love to dance with ya.”

“We’re good at dancing together, aren’t we?”

“I’ve missed smiling and dancing and being intimate with ya. I feel like a fog has been over me for months and I’m tryin’ to clear it.” She sits down and pulls you into her lap.

“I know it’s been a difficult time for you, but I’m glad I’ve been able to be by your side through it.”

“I’ve gotta live. I don’t know how long my life’s gonna be and I wanna live every moment with ya.”

“I don’t like when you fret over these things.” You furrow your brow and rest your head against her heart. “You’re young and you’re strong and circumstances are different from your family. You won’t be in childbirth or go off to war, I believe that God will keep you safe because I pray for your safety every night.”

“I believe in the God ya believe in because I believe in ya. Ya really believe he’ll spare me from an untimely death?”

“I believe that I’m meant to live with you for decades. I believe that we’ll watch my little sisters grow and start families of their own. I believe we’ll see little Ana through her years with Sam and Mercy. I believe that I’ll be able to love you until we’re grey. Imagine the things we’ll see in the next eighty years.”

“Eighty?” She smiles. “We’ll live to be a hundred?”

“If I can help it.”

“Do ya think we’ll see others like us in our time? Do ya think we’ll live to see a day where I can walk holding your hand on the street?”

“That would be marvelous, wouldn’t it? Perhaps in eighty years, the world will be a different place.”

#brittana #starlight!verse #1940s fire island #fire island AU

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echoes-of-realities · 5 years

Text

be my fire in the cold (and I'll be waiting by the mistletoe) - 6/25

* * *

[From the Start] // [Fanfiction] // [ao3]

[Previous Chapter] // [Next Chapter]

Chapter Summary: Brittany’s never believed theatre rumours; Brittany really doesn’t like bullies.

Notes: Warning for minor homophobia

Chapter 6: sure we'll be laughed at, but we all know

///

Brittany wakes up to the faint smell of bacon and hash-browns. She’s disorientated for a second, wondering how in the world her window managed to change walls in the middle of the night and when her pale yellow sheets turned grey, before she realizes that she’s curled up in Mercedes’ bed, the afghan that’s usually draped over the foot of the bed tangled around her shoulders under the comforter. The skin of her face feels raw and tight, the kind of tightness that comes from not wiping away her tears before falling asleep, and she’s somehow still exhausted despite her deep, dreamless sleep. She can hear Mercedes in the kitchen, frying pans knocking together and the kettle screaming, and Brittany sighs and buries her face in one of the pillows thrown around the head of the bed; it smells like Mercedes’ lavender shampoo, and a hint of Sam’s cologne and her own honeysuckle and jasmine body wash from when they all have movie nights and curl up in Mercedes’ room because she has the comfiest mattress. Brittany breathes in deeply, hoping the scents she’s always associated with her best friends will soothe her.

It doesn’t really manage to take her mind off Lord Tubbington though.

The door eases open and Brittany can tell Mercedes is hovering in the doorway, debating whether to wake Brittany or let her sleep.

“Morning,” Brittany croaks, making the decision for her.

Mercedes sighs, so softly that Brittany barely hears it, and crosses the room, settling on the bed somewhere by Brittany’s hip. She hesitates for a moment, but before Brittany can say anything, her warm body is pressing to Brittany in a fierce hug; she smells of breakfast food and coffee and clean from her morning shower. Brittany sighs and sinks back into the embrace. “How are you feeling?” Mercedes whispers.

Brittany manages a little shrug. “I dunno. Sad and, like, empty, I guess. Like when you’re really, really hungry in the middle of the night and you can feel how empty your stomach is empty, except everywhere.”

Mercedes nuzzles closer, and Brittany can picture her face, her brows drawn a little together and the skin around her mouth tight. “I’m so sorry, Britt-Britt,” she whispers.

“Thanks,” Brittany mumbles.

Mercedes is quiet for a moment while Brittany stares blankly out the window. It’s surprisingly clear out, sunbeams streaming through the thin curtains and making swirling patterns on the carpet. “You could take the day off,” Mercedes suggests finally.

Brittany shrugs. “I dunno,” she mumbles, “I just want the day to be normal, you know?” Mercedes hums against her shoulder in acknowledgement. “Besides, dancing always helps me forget about everything, and I kinda need that right now, you know?”

Mercedes hums again, and Brittany sighs. She doesn’t really feel teary anymore, just tired and empty and lonely, even with Mercedes pressing comfortingly all along her back, breathing in sync with her. Eventually Mercedes crawls off the bed and tugs Brittany up after her, and they both follow their noses back to the kitchen where Mercedes has breakfast set up all along the counter, a mug of steaming hot chocolate sitting in front of Brittany’s stool at the kitchen island, whipped cream piled so high it hasn’t even melted all the way in yet. Brittany smiles at Mercedes’ back, feeling warmth curl in her chest, grateful that she has a best friend who knows her so well. They dish up breakfast quietly before settling into their usual spots breakfast spots and eat in comfortable silence.

“I forgot to ask last night, because of— Everything,” Mercedes finally says, “But how did you get home? I didn’t realize my phone was on silent until this morning and I’m so sorry if you tried to call me for a ride.”

“Oh, no it’s fine,” Brittany shrugs a little and pokes at her eggs, “Santana and I shared an Uber home.” She points to the southeast, where their front door is, with a forkful of eggs. “She lives like ten-ish minutes that way.”

“That’s nice of her,” Mercedes says, smiling just a little bit at Brittany.

Brittany feels the corner of her lip turn up in return, just a little bit, and the ache in her chest eases at the warm smile on Mercedes face. “Yeah,” she says simply.

Mercedes hums and, despite the slight smirk tugging on her lips, she remains silent. Brittany insists on cleaning up since Mercedes did all the cooking, before she heads to her room and calls her mom. Her mom puts her on speakerphone with her dad and her sister, and they spend most of the morning reminiscing on Lord Tubbington’s antics. By the end of it Brittany finds herself feeling a little bit better; talking about how much they all loved Tubbs and laughing about how many times food would suddenly go missing and Tubbs would suddenly get fatter makes her feel lighter, until the ache behind her eyes is almost gone. And when Mercedes knocks quietly on her door so they can head to the theatre, Brittany doesn’t feel quite so alone anymore.

Mercedes has to go talk to Kurt about something as soon as they get there, so Brittany ends up wandering the theatre by herself after they check in at the call board. She stops in at her favourite rehearsal room in the hopes that she can blast some music and forget about everything for a little while before she has to start warm ups with the company, but instead finds Jake and Jane practicing the Pas de Deux from the second act. They call out greetings to her and she waves at them before heading back the way she came.

“Hey, Brittany!”

Brittany glances over her shoulder and finds Puck coming up behind her, his arms full of props. “Hey,” she greets quietly.

“Do you mind giving me a hand?” he asks, and Brittany quickly relieves him of the box blocking his view. “Thanks,” he pants, “I thought I could do it all in one trip, but I don’t want Lopez seeing me and going all crazy spicy Latina on me again for dropping something like she did last time.”

Brittany’s nose wrinkles up. “That’s racist,” she says idly.

Puck doesn’t seem to have heard her; he never does when she calls him out on something. “Speaking of Lopez, did you hear?” he asks, obnoxiously waggling his eyebrows at her. Brittany frowns at him; he looks a little bit like a cartoon character, struggling to see past the props still in his arms, his dumb mohawk stuck to his sweaty forehead, a smirk tugging at his lips that Brittany recognizes as the lecherous leer he gets whenever a new dancer—especially those without any knowledge of his reputation—joins the company. “There’s a rumour going around that she plays for the other team, if you know what I mean,” he says in a stage whisper.

“I’m pretty sure she only works here,” Brittany says tiredly, “it’s part of her contract.”

“Not like her job, Brittany,” Puck explains slowly, and because Brittany is trailing behind him to fit through the entryway that leads to one of the back hallways of the theatre, he doesn’t see her roll her eyes. “Like who she takes to bed type of team.”

Brittany’s not quite sure what to say to that, not because she thinks of Santana any differently now, but because she’s pretty sure this is not something Santana wants floating around the theatre; despite working in the arts, Brittany’s encountered a surprising amount of homophobia, and something about Puck’s leer makes Brittany’s skin crawl.

“Did you hear me?” Puck asks, looking around a candy cane prop blocking his view so he can catch Brittany’s eye, it kind of makes Brittany want to take said candy cane and start beating him with it.

“Yeah, I’m just trying to process how gross you are.”

Puck smirks. “What can I say? Lopez is hot, I’m sure she has hot taste in women, and I like hot things.”

The urge to beat him with the candy cane is growing almost too strong to ignore now; Brittany’s never been particularly prone to violence, and she’s not sure if it’s her grief over Lord Tubbington messing with her emotions, the fact that she likes Santana and hates that there’s already rumours going around about her, the fact that she hates bullies, or some combination of all three, but she’s pretty sure if they don’t reach the prop room soon she’s going to snap.

“Wow,” Brittany says slowly, “You might just be the dumbest person on Earth.”

Puck just shrugs. “Maybe,” he agrees easily, smirking, “But I heard it from Finn who heard it from Santana herself.”

“Why was Santana talking to Finn?” Brittany wonders aloud. Finn’s half-way decent about thirteen percent of the time, and Brittany’s pretty sure his partial decency only exists because he sleeps about thirteen percent of the time.

“She wasn’t, he was down in the principal hallway bringing some extra Christmas ornaments up from storage and he overheard Lopez and Tina talking. Tina was asking if Lopez had been on any dates lately,” Puck pauses until Brittany glances at him before he finishes, delighted like a kid waiting up for Santa on Christmas Eve, “With a girl.”

Brittany shrugs. “Your point?”

“With a girl,” he emphasizes, a far off look in his eyes that makes Brittany feel like she needs a shower, “Like a lesbian.”

“Puck that’s gross,” Brittany says.

“No, it’s hot,” he leers.

Brittany scowls at him. “No, I mean you’re gross for being a creep.”

Puck shrugs. “What can I say? I’m a guy.” Brittany dumps the box she’s carrying on top of the pile in Puck’s hands, making him stagger under the unexpected weight. “Hey! I thought you were helping!”

Brittany just shrugs as she spins on her heel and walks back the way they came. “I don’t really think I can provide the help you need,” she deadpans over her shoulder.

She doesn’t see Santana at all before the show, not even for notes, but she hears the whispers of gossip that Puck mentioned as she heads for the stage during intermission. It makes her blood boil, especially after last night because her emotions are still a little all over the place. She can feel the angry creeping along her fingers and sticking to her stomach, and she can’t quite control the scowl she gives some of the snow corps as she walks past them; they’re the group who is almost always at the root of any rumour.

But before she can do more than glare at them for their whispers, she’s running into something warm and solid and groaning. Her hands automatically reach out to steady the source of the groaning, and then deep, dark eyes are locking on her own.

“Brittany,” Santana says breathlessly, “Sorry, I didn’t see you there.” Brittany easily shrugs, searching Santana’s face for any sign she’s heard the rumours about herself, but Santana’s face is only open and warm and concerned. Brittany suddenly realizes that her hands are still on Santana’s shoulders and she hurriedly pulls them back to her, playing with the hem of her tutu. Santana quickly pushes her headset off of her ears until it’s hanging around her neck, giving Brittany her full attention; it makes Brittany feel vulnerable and important, because she can hear the tinny sound of voices through the headset, but Santana barely seems to notice them. “How are you?” Santana asks, her voice quiet and more tender than Brittany’s ever heard someone’s voice go.

That sharp ache of pain arcs through Brittany’s chest, but she manages a small smile. “I’m good,” she says.

Santana’s face changes a little bit, like she doesn’t quite believe Brittany but doesn’t want to say anything. She leans closer, her voice even quieter. “It’s okay if you’re not,” she whispers, “I get it. I would have understood if you hadn’t come in today.”

Brittany’s breath catches a little bit, like someone reached into her chest and squeezed, and she’s suddenly blinking back tears. “I wanted something normal today,” she finally admits, “You know, to keep my mind off it.”

Santana’s hand suddenly brushes over hers, and the ache in Brittany’s chest eases just a little bit at the gentle squeeze of Santana’s fingers around hers. “I get that,” she murmurs. Brittany’s eyes catch in the deepest groove of Santana’s for a moment and Brittany can see exactly how true Santana’s words are; Brittany’s a little glad when Santana’s eyes dart away because those dark eyes make her feel like a little bit like she’s free falling from an airplane without a parachute, a little bit dangerous and a little bit scary and a whole lot exhilarating. “But if you need anything,” Santana continues, shrugging a little, “Time off or a hug or a friend, I’m good for any of it.”

“Thank you,” Brittany whispers, desperately ignoring the prickle she can still feel behind her eyes. Mercedes already had to help her reapply her makeup once today, and Brittany’s due on stage too soon for her to reapply it again.

Santana seems to realize this and her fingers slide across Brittany’s wrist as she pulls back a little bit; Brittany suddenly realizes she can breathe properly again without ever realizing her breath was caught in her chest in the first place. “Are you up for notes after the show?” Santana asks.

“Oh yeah, you didn’t come for notes earlier,” Brittany says, her question implied rather than outright asked.

Santana rolls her eyes so hard she tosses her head back a little, and Brittany bites her lip at how cute the gesture is. “Yeah, Puck tried to take all the props down in one trip, like a dumbass, and dropped them, of course, and broke a bunch of them. I swear to god this is the only prop department I’ve ever worked with that isn’t completely anal about taking care of the props, but nope, he just cost the company a couple hundred dollars.” Brittany smirks at the image that rises to her mind; she’s not sure if she necessarily believes in karma, but she can definitely admire its handiwork. “Anyways, I went down there for check-ins before half hour and found him trying to clean it all up. He was being,” Santana pauses for long enough that Brittany wants to hug her, and then go and beat Puck with that candy cane prop, “weird, I guess. But after I chewed him out for being a dumbass and not making more than one trip, he shut up pretty quick.”

Brittany laughs a little bit, and her chest feels light for the first time all day. “Emma’s really, really anal about the props, but whenever she’s out sick Finn and Puck completely fall apart.”

“Yeah,” Santana mutters, “So do the props.”

Brittany giggles, and is about to respond when she catches sight of one of the snow corps out of the corner of her eye sneering at Santana. Brittany’s pretty sure her name is Brynn or Bree or something, though she doesn’t pay much attention to the more malicious members of the snow corps; but even if she doesn’t recognize her, there’s this glint in her eyes that Brittany knows all too well, and the sneer on her face carries in her voice as she calls across the stage.

“Watch out there, Sugar Plum,” she snarls, “You wouldn’t wanna get to close. I’m pretty sure lesbianism is contagious.”

Brittany can see the exact moment that Santana processes what was just said, her dark eyes go wide for a second and her spine straightens with a jolt as if someone just yanked on a string at the top of her head. There’s burning anger in Santana’s dark eyes, but Brittany’s pretty sure she could scrape it away with her fingernail and reveal the bright, aching pain underneath.

Brittany feels that bubbling anger she’s felt all day start to give way and she scowls at Brynn or Bree or whatever. Her own anger is bright and flaring, all of the frustration and grief of the last couple weeks surging like liquid fire through her veins. “I’d rather catch lesbianism than whatever it is that’s made your face look like that,” she says, her voice so quiet and dangerous that it shocks Brynn or Bree or whatever into taking a startled half-step backwards. “Is it the snow that makes your face freeze like that or is that just how you’ve always looked?” Brittany continues, slipping into the practiced confusion that’s served her so well over the years, “Either way, don’t get too close to a fireplace. You might melt.”

Brynn or Bree or whatever gets lost in the sea of dancers gathering for the start of act two and Brittany takes a deep breath to calm the blood rushing in her ears before she turns back to Santana. She’s still frozen, her wide eyes on Brittany’s and the set of her shoulders stiff. “Hey,” Brittany whispers, carefully moving closer to Santana, as if she’s an overly cautious bird that might fly away at a sudden movement, “Are you okay?”

Santana blinks, her gaze darting between Brittany’s eyes. Brittany lets Santana stare at her, hoping she finds what she’s looking for. “I— Uh— Yeah,” she stutters. “That was— I mean,” her brown eyes finally still and settle on Brittany’s, and Brittany feels warm all over. “Thank you,” Santana says earnestly, the glow her dark eyes making something in Brittany’s chest shiver.

Heat crawls under her skin and she already knows the pink splotching her cheeks is obvious, even under the dim stage lights. “I’ve been looking for a reason to call her out,” Brittany admits, “She’s always been awful.”

“I—” a particularly loud voice comes through the headset still around Santana’s neck, and Santana jumps a little, only now seeming to realize that one of the other stage managers has been trying to get her attention for a while. She gives Brittany an apologetic, slightly helpless look, but Brittany easily waves her off. Santana quickly pulls her headset back over her ears and mutters something into the mic. She listens intently right as one of the stage hands starts wandering through the dancers, calling five minutes to the end of intermission, and Brittany starts a little, not realizing how much time has already passed.

Santana sighs deeply and draws Brittany’s attention back to her; she’s worrying the notebook in her hands and scowling into space. Brittany smiles a little at the furrow in her brow; she’s not sure what it is about this woman, but pretty much everything about her is adorable. Brittany touches her elbow to draw her attention, and the way her face instantly clears into a small smile when she looks at Brittany makes Brittany feel a little bit like she might be floating. Brittany points towards the curtains and Santana nods quickly. She covers the mic with her hand and her eyes go liquid soft for a moment. “Thank you,” she whispers.

Brittany can feel her heartbeat pound everywhere. “Any time,” she promises.

Santana shows up at Brittany’s dressing room just as she’s heading out, and there’s something easy and light in her expression that wasn’t there earlier. Brittany smiles at her until Santana’s dimples crease her cheeks and she looks away breathlessly. “No notes?” Brittany teases.

Santana shrugs and looks shy for a moment, before she takes a deep breath and gestures towards the hallway, waiting until Brittany’s locked the door and they’ve started heading down the hallway to answer. “Not tonight, I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing,” she says easily, bumping her shoulder against Brittany’s, “You did amazing like usual, by the way. Especially, you know, considering everything.”

Brittany smiles a little, and despite the ache in her chest she feels less empty than she did this morning. Between talking to her family this morning, Mercedes being an amazing best friend, and Santana’s understanding, she’s realizing that she has pretty great people in her life. Sure, she misses Tubbs just as much as she did this morning, and she doesn’t think that will every go away completely, but having so many people around who care about her makes her realize that she’s never going to be as lonely as she was when it felt like Tubbs was the only one who understood her.

“What was he like?” Santana asks softly.

Brittany feels her lips curl up a little. “His name was Lord Tubbington,” she says, watching Santana out of the corner of her eye to gauge her reaction.

She does admirably; after letting out an involuntary giggle, she bites down on her bottom lip to stifle her amusement. “Lord Tubbington?” she manages in a mostly calm voice.

Brittany nods seriously. “We called him Tubbs for short.”

Santana turns sparkling eyes on her, and despite the teeth sunk into her lip to contain her smile, her cheeks still dimple. “That’s cute,” she says, her voice bright with amusement.

Brittany grins, and Santana relaxes a little. Brittany glances around the hallway, even though she already knows it’s going to be empty, before leaning close to Santana. She smells of citrus and vanilla and pinewood underneath the clinging scent of the theatre, and it makes something in Brittany’s chest fall into place. “He was really fat,” she whispers.

Santana’s teeth release her lip as she throws her head back with a delighted laugh. “Please tell me you have pictures,” she gasps.

Brittany grins and quickly struggles to tug her phone out of her pocket. She opens it and quickly finds her photos app, pulling up the album of Lord Tubbington’s best pictures. They end up hovering near the end of the principal hallway, huddled over Brittany’s phone as they scroll through pictures of, what Santana deems, the fattest and most adorable cat in the world. Brittany narrates some of Tubbs’ best moments, including the time he somehow got onto the table one New Year’s Day supper and shoved his head into the cheese fondue, and the time he got out of the house only to be picked up and cared for by a biker gang until they saw his lost posters and brought him back home. Santana’s completely enamoured by the stories Brittany tells, and it’s fun and therapeutic to reminisce on all of her adventures with, in Brittany’s humble opinion, the best cat in the world.

Mercedes had already left to pick up some snacks for them because, despite it being almost ten o’clock at night, she always knows how hungry Brittany is after a show, and since Santana’s ride had to go met up with her mom and dad, Santana offers to share another Uber back to their apartments, much to Brittany’s delight. Brittany quickly texts Mercedes that she doesn’t need a ride and she’ll meet her back at the apartment instead.

They reach the back exit and spill onto the street in a fit of giggles as Brittany narrates how the first and only time she tried smoking when she was fourteen, she heard her mom coming in the front door early and promptly framed Tubbs for the smell of smoke lingering on her clothes so her mom wouldn’t get mad at her (it didn’t work, of course, but her mom found it so amusing that she let Brittany off with only a stern warning that, if Tubbs ever did it again, he’d end up grounded for the rest of his life).

They direct the Uber driver to Brittany’s apartment first, and Santana keeps asking questions about Lord Tubbington, much to Brittany’s surprised delight. Santana hangs onto her every word, as if she’s the most interesting thing Santana’s ever seen, and it makes something lifting and bright curl in Brittany’s chest. They reach her and Mercedes’ apartment far too soon in Brittany’s opinion, and she quickly gives Santana money for her half of the fare, insisting on it when Santana tries to refuse because Santana didn’t let her pay her half last night. Santana eventually accepts, though with much whining reluctance, and Brittany grins, triumphant, and turns to get out of the car. Her fingers have barely wrapped around the handle of the door when Santana’s hand on hers freezes her. “Hey,” she whispers.

Brittany feels something deep in her chest leap to attention. “Hey,” she whispers back.

“I’m really glad you told me about Lord Tubbington,” Santana says quietly, “And I’m really glad to see you smiling again, even though I know you must still be hurting.”

Brittany’s breath leaves her all at once and all she can manage is a small shake of her head and a soft smile. “Thanks for listening,” Brittany whispers.

Santana’s nose scrunches up a little and those dimples crease her cheeks. “Anytime, Britt. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Santana,” she whispers, finally crawling out of the car and carefully shutting the door behind her. She watches as its taillights head east towards the first set of lights before turning south towards Santana’s apartment.

Brittany takes a moment to breathe in the crisp night air before turning and heading into her apartment building; she still keenly misses Tubbs but, unlike she had that morning, she’s doesn’t feel so lonely anymore.

#brittana #brittany pierce #santana lopez #brittana fanfiction #glee fanfiction #mercedes jones #brittcedes #my writing #story: be my fire in the cold (and I'll be waiting by the mistletoe)

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miasswier · 5 years

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miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: 43

43: Feud

Written by: Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa Directed by: Bradley Buecker

Overall Thoughts: While this is not exactly a bad episode (I mean, it’s in the top fifty for a reason), it’s also not as good as I remember it being. On my pre-watch ranking I had it ranked higher than a lot of episodes that made it into my top thirty. I think a big part of it is because the parts that are good are so good. Like, really good. But the rest of it is sort of meh, which sucks.

What I Like:

The Blaine/Sue feud was so bizarre but a stroke of pure genius. Jane Lynch and Darren Criss play off each other so fucking well. I’d love to watch a buddy comedy for the two of them where Jane Lynch is his mom or aunt or something and they go on a road trip together. They have amazing comedic chemistry.

“IT’S CEMENT.”

When Becky kisses Blaine and tells him she loves him and he just goes “Thank you?”

Blaine getting hit in the face with a thong. Thank you forever for that Glee.

Sam and Blaine being scheemy little schemers. I remember being so surprised at that scene when this episode first aired. It’s too bad they didn’t go anywhere with it.

The opening scene is comedy gold. Especially when Will compliments Ryder by pointing out that he’s literally Finn 2.0 and Finn loses his goddamn mind.

The scene at the end with Marley and Finn is so sweet. I will forever be happy that Marley was the one to encourage Finn to get a teaching degree. It means so much more to have the confidence of your student telling you “You would be good at this” than, say, your girlfriend, or your best bud/teacher.

I do think it was necessary for Santana to point out that Rachel has become too obsessed with the men in her life, but also that’s not really Rachel’s fault since the show continuously makes all of Rachel’s stories about whoever she is dating at the time.

That gay-ass scene of Santana dancing with all those girls. Good shit, man.

Okay, I do have issues with how the whole scene ended up playing out, but damn, that moment that Finn walks out of the bathroom in the hotel room and you see the way Brody’s life is flashing before his eyes is fantastic.

Tina being so supportive of Blaine.

When Sue is yelling at Tina and all Tina can say is “leave me alone” just totally not affected by it anymore. Fucking amazing.

“Gay Clark Kent from season one of Smallville”

Brody genuinely looks conflicted about what he’s doing as he’s doing it. It’s clear this is a job for him, and he isn’t just lying to Rachel about sleeping around for the hell of it (even though the whole thing reeks of male fantasy but still, at least he shows clear remorse).

“It doesn’t matter what you think, you don’t get to decide for me.” I think this is one of the strongest, most powerful lines ever spoken on Glee. Because she’s right, but it also shows the difficulty of it. Ryder thinking Unique is a boy doesn’t stop her from being a girl, but it still hurts. Her identity is being erased. And not only that, but we know (thanks to having seen it all play out) that she was the girl he was talking to online. Which means she was misgendering herself because she was so afraid that Ryder would be angry if he found out she was the one talking to him. Honestly, it creates such a messy web of transphobia and society-imposed-sexism (Unique thinks she has to be somebody she isn’t, and misgenders herself purposefully to gain the attention of a boy, which is so fucking sad), but it also makes for a powerful moment. Unique is Unique. And even if Ryder never accepted her and never told her he thinks she’s a girl, that wouldn’t change the fact that she is a girl. But it also doesn’t change how hard non-acceptance and ignorance is.

What I Don’t Like:

Going off my last point, I think they could have done so much more with the Ryder/Unique story. I mean, they dragged out that dumbass catfish story for so goddamn long, and then when it was actually starting to get interesting (with the reveal that Unique was catfish, and Ryder’s obviously conflicting feelings about her in “All or Nothing”) they dropped it. So we got all the boring, useless shit, and none of the good stuff. I would have loved to see Ryder give Unique a chance and hang out with her as Unique instead of Katie, and slowly come to realize that she’s still the girl he grew to love, even if she’s not the person he thought she was. I mean, he rejected the girl who was Katie’s picture for her, so clearly it wasn’t just about the looks. I would have really enjoyed watching these two slowly fall in love. Too bad all we got was the bullshit.

Becky slapping Blaine on the butt has always rubbed me the wrong way; but then again, all butt slapping rubs me the wrong way.

Will is such a fucking baby in this episode. I know we all make fun of him because his best friend is fucking nineteen, but seriously, when your nineteen-year-old best friend is more mature than you are, you’ve got a serious problem buddy.

Despite the iconic moment of Finn stepping out of the bathroom to surprise Brody, I really don’t appreciate the way the show portrayed Finn beating Brody up on behalf of Rachel as romantic. Rachel didn’t even know he was in New York. She didn’t know what was going on. She didn’t ask him to do that. Throughout this whole story, Santana has been trying to take Rachel’s agency away from her, and now Finn has joined the literal fight. I don’t know. I just didn’t like how that played out. (Seriously though, Finn stepping out of that bathroom – Iconic)

Sue acting as though Nicki Minaj standing up for herself makes her crazy.

The fact that all the girls paying for escorts are these hot young ladies. That’s such a male fantasy come to life “yeah, I’ll get tons of hot girls to pay me to have sex with them”, give me a fucking break.

It really upsets me that Glee shamed a character for sex work, which he states very clearly that he is doing so he can pay his tuition. He doesn’t have money. Oh, and then Finn destroys that hotel room and leaves Brody alone in it, which means that Brody is most likely the one who had to pay for all those damages. You know, Brody? The guy who needs that money for tuition? I hate how dirty they did Brody. They should have made it way more clear that what was wrong with what Brody was doing was that he was lying to Rachel about it, not that he was a sex worker. Glee didn’t really establish that line clearly enough.

I wish Santana’s talk about Rachel’s pregnancy scare being a wake-up call hadn’t just been about her trying to convince Rachel to break it off with Brody. I mean, if she had a pregnancy scare that means she and Brody may not have been using protection. Maybe she didn’t use protection with Finn, either. Is Brody using protection with the women he sleeps with? If they are in an open relationship THEY NEED TO BE USING PROTECTION. Ugh.

You can literally see Unique sitting in the library when Ryder is looking around trying to find Katie. They fucking showed us who Katie was from episode fucking one and still dragged it the fuck out.

Songs

How to Be a Heartbreaker: This is one of my favourite Marina and the Diamonds song, and honestly, I think Glee did a good job with it. I kind of wish it had been a Brody solo, since I think that would have made it more impactful, but I still think they did a good job.

The Bitch is Back/Dress You Up: This is a good one! Ryder and Unique’s voices go together really well, and they managed to decently split the song up into individual parts, while also making it clear this was a mash-up.

Cold Hearted: Amazing performance and choreography, but honestly I’m not a big fan of this song.

Bye Bye Bye/ I Want It That Way: This is my all time favourite mash-up that Glee ever did. I love it so fucking much. It works so well, and Finn and Will sound really good on it, and just… god, I love it so much. SO MUCH.

I Still Believe/Superbass: I think Blaine sounds awesome in this one, and Superbass is one of my favourite Nicki Minaj songs, but I don’t like the way they set this one up. Blaine sings his part, then Sue sings hers, then there’s a brief mash-up of the two at the end. I wish they’d done it more like “The Bitch is Back/Dress You Up” had been done.

Closer: I really like the original of this song, but this version is just okay. Ryder and Jake singing this one alone felt like a bit of an odd choice – I think I would have preferred it be a group number. It’s a nice performance, and at least they do more than just stand on stage and dance around, but I wouldn’t consider it one of their best.

Final Thoughts: It’s not the strongest in this clump of episodes, but it’s definitely better than most of season four. It has some really funny moments, and some really good, emotional moments, but it also has some stuff that’s like… eh… Overall a decent episode, and one that I don’t mind watching time and time again.

#ultimate glee ranking

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berry-star-struck · 6 years

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Faberry(F2F)

Starter for @therealquinnfabray

Rachel had finally made it to the big times. She had won her Tony award by the time she was 22. She went on to win three more, star in four movies, win an Oscar, go back to Broadway, and now she was living her life touring her own original music and staring in two network television shows. She had gotten everything she had ever wanted and she was only 25. If she was being honest with herself she knew she would make it, it was only a matter of time before the world saw how talented she was. How could they not love her? Her next goal was an Emmy and a Grammy and then she would finally be the thirteenth actor to become an EGOT. That was all she had left from her childhood list of lifelong dreams and she had plenty of time to get there. Her life was going exactly the way she had dreamed.

That’s why she shouldn’t have been surprised something like this would happen. She had been riding high for so long she felt untouchable, but the miseries of life always catch up to you. Even Rachel Berry wasn’t exempt from the real world. She had been secretly dating her bodyguard, Sam. She knew they could have come out about it but it was better for PR to 'date' her costars on and off. She didn't exactly agree with it but when you sign a contract you sign away your private life as well. It didn't bother her or sam that they had to sneak around and lie about their romance. In a way it felt better that way. Their time was never tainted by tabloids and lies. Of course, there the rumors that she was having an affair with the blonde, however, Santana had cleverly avoided that by claiming that Sam was gay and providing a few images of him kissing a mystery man as proof. He had gone along with it, ‘as long as it helped Rachel he was glad to help,’ he would always say.

Three months ago Sam was killed in a car accident. He was on his way to his mother's house for vacation when a truck ran a red light and t-boned his car. He died on impact. Rachel had to reschedule three concerts to help Sam's mother plan the wake and the funeral. After only a week of grieving she was back on tour and acting as if the love of her life hadn't existed at all. Behind the scenes, she was falling apart. She had suffered multiple breakdowns the past few months. The first show after she had returned from “paying her respects to a dear friend” she didn’t even make it off the stage. She collapsed as soon as she was off stage sobbing after having to put on a good face for three hours. She wanted to end her career then and there, however, Santana wouldn’t let her give up her dreams that easily.

Santana had become her manager at the beginning of her career, the women got along well and the Latina understood what Rachel wanted and exactly how to get it. If she was honest she probably had Santana to thank for a lot of her success. Especially in the recent months, the diva would be washed up, maybe even self-medicating to deal with the grief if her manager hadn’t taken over her life.

She was thankful for Santana but right now she just felt suffocated. The Latina had been trying to find a new bodyguard for Rachel for the last three months. Dozens had come and go. Most of them were good at their job. They made sure she was safe at every venue, but they weren't Sam. They didn't place their hand at the small of her back when they walked through crowds, they didn't leave her notes in her town cars, and they didn't love her. How could she ever settle for anything less than Sam?

Rachel finally finished filming her summer tv show and she had a few weeks before filming began for her fall show. She was taking a much needed break. The brunette sat at her kitchen island nursing a fresh cup of coffee. She hated herself for it but she still cried every morning. She woke up expecting to finally hear back from Sam and she was always hit with the reality that he was really gone. The doorbell rang and Rachel rolled her eyes knowing exactly who it was. Rachel wiped her eyes and as she walked to the door, she checked her appearance in the mirror before opening the door, she knew she wouldn’t be able to get rid of the puffy, bloodshot look she had going before answering the door, but at least she could make up a worthy excuse knowing how bad it was. Luckily her eyes were only a little red and she could claim she had recently woken up.

Rachel finally pulled open the door, standing in the doorway was none other than Santana Lopez and standing behind her was a blonde woman, "Hello, Santana, I'm not interested in whatever this is," Rachel could hear the exhaustion in her own voice. "Good morning to you, too. That's a nice first impression for your new bodyguard," the Latina spat as she pushed her way through the door motioning for the blonde to follow behind her. "I'm sorry," Rachel closed the door behind her before addressing the blonde standing in her foyer, "I'm Rachel Berry.” the diva folded her hands over her chest, “Now, please give me an overview of what you can offer me and why I should consider you as a viable candidate for this position.”

#faberryf2f #starter #rachel berry rp #rachel berry #therealquinnfabray

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temarisnara · 6 years

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lily aldrin, rachel berry, emma frost?

ooo those are good ones, thank you!!

lily aldrin

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would banghogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuffbest quality: she’s SUCH a good friend. she’s supportive but so quick to call out bullshit. she has no issue with being brutally honest when her friends need it and i love it. worst quality: hmm, i think her inability to balance what she wants? like its SUCH a good character trait, dont get me wrong, it makes her such a good character. but like in season 1 when she freaked out and left marshal to pursue painting, instead of just…doing both. tbf, i dont really remember s1, maybe marshal wasnt being supportive, maybe there was a reason she couldnt do both, but whatever the reason i dont think she handled it the right way. and idk it was just present, especially after she had marvin, that she felt like she couldnt be a wife/mom and pursue her dreams, that she had to give one up. ship them with: MARSHAL! and lowkey robin and barney, especially marshal/barney/lily ot3 (thanks to this). maybe an ot4 too but i never thought about it.brotp them with: BARNEY! I loved their friendship. And her friendship with Robin was Good.needs to stay away from: her stoner ex?? Idk.misc. thoughts: she’s ME AND I LOVE HER.

rachel berry

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuffbest quality: i dont know if it’s her best quality (it’s not. it’s 100% not) but i fucking. love. her extra, dramatic ass personality. I’M LIKE TINKERBELL, I NEED APPLAUSE TO LIVE! so much of my personality is based on rachel berry, im not even kidding. she Inspired me to be the most Extra version of myself and not care what other ppl thought.worst quality: oh god. she’s so self centered. everything is about her, what she wants and needs. she forgets to think about other ppl.ship them with: jesse! also i thought her and sam were cute. and santana. i think if i rewatched i would ship her with quinn but it wasnt really my thing back in the day. i used to ship her with puck but uhhh, not anymore.brotp them with: i came up with the brotp of rachel and dave karofsky bc i shipped dave/kurt and i love kurt/rachel’s friendship, and i thought rachel would be a good influence to dave. also, kurt and mercedes and santana. and when she was friends with finn they were cute.needs to stay away from: finn, romantically.misc. thoughts: I LOVE HER SO MUCH i would watch a spin off about her without hesitation.

emma frost

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would banghogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuffbest quality: her devotion to her students. like, god. she’s such a good teacher. ill never forget her fucking destroying laura’s handler, even tho she didnt like/trust laura, because regardless of her own mistrust, laura is a child and her student and she will not fucking let anyone hurt her kids.worst quality: i guess her jealousy towards jean?ship them with: SCOTT! and jean, lowkeybrotp them with: monet, because. theyre practically the same person. also her friendship with logan is cute. needs to stay away from: namor? listen idk anything about him or their relationship but i am, Petty, and he is not scott who is her SOULMATE so i hate him. thanks. also shaw.misc. thoughts: i think emma is a good example of sexualized costume suiting the character. like some of her outfits are just impractical (the thong and corset??? what) but the white pants and cut off shirt is a good look and it suits her. emma is very prideful in her appearance and likes to be sexual and these fucking nerds on the internet acting like they need to cover her up to win feminism is so dumb to me bc all that shows me is theyve either never read a comic with her or they just dont Care and think all women are the same. sexualized costumes for wonder woman or captain marvel or power girl? dont fit bc it doesnt suit their personality, but fucking throwing emma in an ugly ass suit just bc it covers her up isnt automatically feminist! emma can have a sexy/revealing costume without it being just so nerd boys can jerk it.

#waveridden #thank you and sorry it took forever #my cousin came over and then it was time for bed

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thedeadflag · 7 years

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Hi I just want to thank you for being there yesterday I was having a bad time coping. Reading so many dismissive attitudes about things like the g!p issue knowing it boils down to most people as don't like it don't read it. Just bc its tagged doesn't mean it isn't doing harm. So many are supporting writers who know better but blatantly use it in a public forum makes me feel like i can't even be here sometimes. 1/2

2/2 I was thinking what if there was a popular genre that involved depicting/fetishizing black women with large breasts and small brains? What if that was a thing? Would ppl stay quiet bc its tagged? Wld ppl speak out? Thinking of all the things that ppl never speak up over but pretend to be allies? This performative allyship? It makes me sick. THIS is the toxic side of Tumblr. Thank you for being here.

It really is an issue of performative allyship vs actual allyship. Lots of people with “No TERFs” on their blog headers, folks asserting up and down that trans women are women and are “obviously” included in women’s spaces.

But then they fill those spaces with cissexism and transmisogyny and trans fetishization, and all sort of attitudes and behaviours and words that make it clear to us that we’re not truly accepted and seen as women, that we’re only welcome on their terms and that our voices don’t mean anything. So who are they supportive of? Who are they welcoming of within the spaces/communities we’re supposed to be able to safely exist in? It becomes intensely conditional. We’re accepted and welcomed so long as they get to demean us, misrepresent us, expose us to (and sometimes encourage) harm and sexual violence and social hostility, see and treat us like cis men in dresses they can put on a pedestal every once in a while for ally points.

If trans women are only conditionally accepted in women’s spaces, then our womanhood is being treated as conditional. It’s that simple. And it’s really clear that’s the case among those reading and writing those trans fetishistic works.

As for your example, I don’t need to use anyone else as a barometer for what’s acceptable in fandom, or how folks would react. Racial fetishization is distinct from trans fetishization.

But I do have a strong feeling that if Amber Riley had been thinner, if she’d fit the fetishized “thick girl” figure…I guarantee that we would have seen that sort of thing blow up in the Glee fandom. She was already treated as shrill, loud, and brainless/small-minded (misogynoir at play). Being fat disqualified her from being treated as a viable character for most sexual works (classic fatphobia), but yeah…if she’d been a “thick” girl with large breasts, yeah, absolutely people would have treated her character as a mindless sex receptacle. I’m not even sure anyone would be so kind as to tag their works with anything specific, outside of maybe the shudder-inducing “eb*ny”, since that seems to be the norm of how black women are treated in sexual media.

I doubt much of anyone aside from black women would speak out, or do anything about it. Hell, you’d probably get a bunch of folks who’d think it was positive rep. You’d get her paired up with all the white male leads in pursuit of pregnancy fics with mixed baby fetishization. And you’d get a slew of g!p fics in femslash portions of the fandom, with her as the ‘voluptuous’, ‘primal’, ‘aggressive’ partner with the BBC to ravage and fill up all the nubile, innocent white female leads. The fandom mostly shoehorned in Santana to fit that role, as the predatory mindless sex pot, but I don’t doubt that they’d have jumped on the possibility of using Mercedes if they’d seen her as viable. And fandom would have done nothing about it, because they didn’t do anything about it with Santana, dismissing criticisms left and right, and even trying to use canon material to justify twisting her character that way. Latinx fans were vocal as hell, and were roundly ignored and dismissed.

So yeah, in your given example, that’s exactly what would happen. Had racial fetishization been done in canon material, fandom would have maybe rallied a bit against that harmful rep (they did a few times in Glee to events.portrayals in canon, certainly), but when the finger’s pointed at them? Nope. Fandom, by and large, would not give even half of a shit. But they would be vocal here and there about being against racism, of how there needs to be more support for woc, especially in wlw fandom. Calling out #BlackLivesMatter while gleefully fetishizing black women is something I absolutely suspect would be common.

There’s a lot of issues in fandom. Trans fetishization is just one issue among a great many others. It’s the one I focus on, because it affects me directly, and I can speak on it and educate on it, but there’s absolutely racial fetishization in fandom. It’s rampant. And fandom spaces for LGBT+ fandom really do tend to mirror real life spaces. They’re white-centric and cis-centric for sure, to name a few pertinent issues.

And they don’t think they’re transmisogynistic. They don’t think they’re racist. Many of them can’t even get a sniff that there’s anything wrong with the works they love that fetishize and dehumanize real marginalized groups of people. And there’s all that toxicity right under the surface, and too many aren’t willing to do anything about it.

“It’d cause too much drama for my liking”

“I don’t want to rustle feathers”

“I don’t want to get anon hate”

“I don’t want to upset anyone.”

“I don’t want to lose any friends”

“I come to fandom to escape and have fun, not to argue”

Except for those of us being dehumanized and fetishized and excluded, we don’t have the luxury of dipping into fandom all peacefully and comfortably. We don’t have the ability to just ignore the harm being done to us and move on, nor should we have to.

Like, in real life, when folks see transphobia, or racism, and they do nothing? That can at times be understandable, if unfortunate. But online? There’s zero real risk/danger. There’s always, always ways to help. But people still shy away. When there’s practically an epidemic of people not commenting on fanworks, who’s going to put in the effort to fight these fights that isn’t already directly affected? Hardly anyone.

And I’ll admit there are times I could have done better, done more. I need to do better, there’s always room for improvement.

I just need to hope there’s enough out there trying to make things better for some sort of positive change to happen. It’s just hard sometimes, as you know.

I’m here if you need me.

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lunarmadison · 7 years

Text

mother’s day

WHO: Madison McCarthy & Margaret McCarthy (many thanks to Julie for writing this with me!!) WHAT: In the spirit of the holiday, Madison decides to give her mother a call. WHEN: May 14, 2017; late evening WARNINGS: passing descriptions of violence; violent thoughts. (this got away from me)

Madison hesitated, her finger hovering over the green button on her phone screen. Mother's Day was not something that was often celebrated in the McCarthy home, largely due to the fact that the women of the clan found ways to ensure they were honored daily. But it was Madison's first experience with the holiday outside the Compound, and so many other students had talked about calling home that she felt it was the right thing to do. Before she lost her nerve, before she could talk herself out of it, she hit 'send' and listened to the dial tone.

Margaret had been having a long day. She'd just gotten out of a meeting with several other clan heads, and she was looking forward to an evening spent with her husband and a bottle of wine, but of course, nothing could be that simple. Her phone began plink-plonking and she glanced at the name on the screen...oh. Margaret cast her eyes to the ceiling, a silent questioning prayer to the Ancients, before she picked up the call. "Yes, Madison? What have you done now?"

Madison felt her heart drop, as though she'd expected anything different. Well -- maybe she'd expected the secretary. Or the voice mail. "Nothing," she replied, biting back defensiveness. "It's Mother's Day, and I was calling to wish you a happy one. I hope you're well," she added, a little lighter, a little more like an afterthought.

Margaret blinked and frowned briefly as her daughter spoke. "Mother's Day," Margaret echoed, a hint of faint amusement creeping into her voice. She leaned forward and took a sip of her wine, swirling it in the glass. "I'm fine, thank you, Madison." Margaret allowed, leaning back in her chair and propping her feet up on her desk. "You're finished with the semester, yes? I presume you and Mason achieved high marks."

Madison nodded as she spoke. "Of course, Mother. I have; I'm not completely certain what Mason's final grades were but I've been making sure that he studies, so I don't expect them to be poor." She chuckled despite herself; talking about Mason with her mother was a new experience now that Madison knew what she knew about how they'd treated him. Fortunately, she could curb her anger to have a civil discussion. "And I'm taking Restoratives over the summer."

Margaret snorted lightly - she had her own expectations about her son, and her daughter for that matter, but she certainly didn't have the energy to get into them tonight. "Restoratives? Good. Your healing needs work." Margaret said instead, taking another sip of her wine. Was it too late to switch to something stronger? "Was there anything else to report, Madison?"

Madison 's breath hitched for the briefest second as she debated opening up can after can of worms. Samhain. Their memories. Mason. Quinn. Anything and everything even remotely personal bubbled nearly to the surface, before Madison quickly and silently shut it down. It was a rare opportunity to get Margaret McCarthy on the phone, even as her daughter, but Madison could hear the way that her mother's voice stretched taut over the words like there were about fifty-seven things she'd rather be doing than having this discussion. "No, Mother," Madison said. "Thank you for taking my call. I'll send word if we're able to come home over break."

Margaret rolled her eyes. "Oh, will you?" Margaret drawled. She downed her wine. "If we require your presence, we will let you know, Madison." A year at a prestigious college apparently did very little for a child's sense of respect. "Focus on your schoolwork. Do not allow yourself to lose focus, especially if you are only taking one class." Margaret sighed. "And ensure that the next time you call, it is to report something of import."

Madison felt the heat rising in her throat, but she swallowed down the lump of anger before it could make it to her lips. For one thing, she wasn’t dictating whether she and Mason would go to the Compound; she was just trying to keep her family apprised of her schedule. And for another, she was taking more than one class -- but Aether forbid her mother know that she was going to waste the credit hours painting instead of doing something more useful. Instead of more Restoratives, or better yet, more Slaying. She was barely able to keep the fire out of her voice when she spoke again, with words that were, on the surface, as respectful as ever, but flooded with the emotion that she'd tried so hard to keep at bay. "Yes, Mother. I'm sorry to have bothered you. Good evening."

There was no answer, no echo of Madison’s final words. No acknowledgement of the possibility of Madison showing any kind of emotion at all. Nothing, just the unceremonious silence of disconnection. Madison gripped the phone tight, tighter, as though she might be able to crush it with the force of the anger in her veins. She dropped it on her bed before she accidentally shorted it out with magic or threw it across the room with rage.

Her eyes lifted to the bag hanging on the hook by the door. She could leave. Run. Train. Try to sweat all the anger out, like she’d been doing all semester.

After all, she was in the gym almost daily. She trained harder than she ever had, putting in hours against punching bags and practice dummies and long-range targets. She’d spent countless hours organizing her schoolwork and her job and her life, fitting activities into neat boxes of time in her planner. She’d poured energy and focus and will into sigils and spells, into all her coursework, into trying and trying and trying to live up to her motto to be better.

And after a year at NYADA, she wasn’t any better. Not really. She was a marginally better witch, but hardly a better Slayer, and certainly a worse friend, with the realization that her prized trait of compassion had been little more than lip service for most of her life.

And all of it had been a flimsy cover for this, the quiet rage that she’d buried so far beneath her skin, so far that she’d given it another name, another identity. Slayer Madison was someone else, after all. Slayer Madison did things that Madison Laurel would never allow herself to even think of.

Slayer Madison emerged in the gym, slicing open cotton-stuffed dummies. Slayer Madison walked away from Mike Chang during field studies to save her own skin. She stole and lied and cheated under the lousy excuse that it was for the greater good. She railed against the perceived injustice done to herself and ruined Hunter Clarington’s boat. She fought with Santana for the fun of it, for the viciousness and the violence that came with sparring with a Trickster.

Slayer Madison had been the one to show up in royal blue and Louboutins at the Ice Ball, knowing how much it would hurt Sebastian. And, perhaps most famously, at least among her peers, Slayer Madison had cast the Kneel spell on Elliott Gilbert.

Back and back, through her year at NYADA. Back and back, through her teenage years and childhood: violent act after violent act, whether perpetrated with words or intent or physical weapons and Slaying spells.

Back and back: anger and hate and self-righteousness, a quick draw and quicker trigger, a shorter fuse as she got younger and younger, right up to the memory of tearing into the leathery skin of a lamia and feeling the blood spill onto her tiny, child hands.

And she’d covered it all up with a smile and a protest sign, the way that she’d been taught to, as a “compassionate” McCarthy.

That had to end. And it had to end here and now.

Madison stood with resolve and took her bag off its hook to head out.

It was time to train.

#para: all #para: self #phone: mother

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kurtanaroyalty · 3 years

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ahhh i'm so sorry about your medical testing. i'm currently going through several years of tests so i feel for you right now :(

do you want to tell me your favorite things about klaine and brittana? what do you love about both couples? why do you ship them? favorite moments? or just gush about them, whatever you like :)

hope your testing goes well <3

Thank you Evelyn, I’m so sorry that you’re going through something similar and wish you the very best (as always, I’m here for you if you ever wanna vent about it)!!<333

Oh god.. my two favorite canon ships🥰

This is gonna be a jumbled long mess of random thoughts..

Klaine

I remember watching the show live when it first premiered and although I found it interesting, I didn’t fully become invested until they started showing more of Kurt. I felt such a strong connection to him and he’s a character that I see a lot of myself in. It was so hard to watch everything he had to endure (especially during season 2) so when the Klaine storyline started, I was overjoyed because I felt like it was the first time I saw Kurt truly let his guard down around someone else and genuinely look happy. Also knowing how monumental it was for him to meet another openly gay boy, at that one who wasn’t afraid of showing affection. Blaine was someone who right away was drawn to Kurt and wanted to help & support him. I’m a sucker for the friends to lovers trope, so seeing the way that Kurt was into Blaine pretty much from the start but Blaine was just his cute oblivious self..all while becoming best friends (super flirty ones obviously) and then finally having Blaine get hit with the realization of his strong feelings for Kurt & that first kiss🥺👌💕!

I would not even consider myself to be an overly romantic or cheesy person, but god.. so many Klaine scenes just make my heart melt. Obviously there are so many iconic ones like the proposal, the prom, the auditorium scenes etc. But I feel like their smaller/more nuanced moments get to me just as much. I see so many wonderful posts on here that show all these little moments that could easily be missed but I’m so glad that they aren’t. So even when it’s scenes with knowing eye contact/glances or small reassuring touches, I feel like their chemistry still shines through and you can always tell how much they care about each other & truly know one another!

It seems to be an unpopular opinion, but I really enjoy their arc in the later seasons. Don’t get me wrong, I still love them in seasons 2 & 3, but I find their storylines in the later seasons to be way more compelling and entertaining. I find their relationship to overall be a pretty realistic (as much as glee can be!) portrayal of high school sweethearts navigating adulthood. So yes, this leads to some rocky & dramatic moments but it also leads to some fantastic character growth. One of my favorite episodes of the show is 5x14(New New York).. as much as a part of me would have loved to see (& think Klaine & the audience deserved to have) a more fluffy storyline with a shit ton of domestic Klaine (tho we did get a bit of it), I think the direction it went with Kurt feeling a bit smothered/suffocated and Blaine wanting so much togetherness & being his clingy self made a lot of sense and gave us some of the most mature and realistic relationship scenes of the show (with still having many major comedic elements). I feel that way with most of the later season 5 episodes. Even if I didn’t always agree & like how the writers were handling things, I overall really enjoyed seeing Klaine post high school handle the many adult storylines thrown their way.

It just makes me so happy that we got to see these two boys go on this journey from having to face such hardships in their childhoods/teen years to finding each other and growing not only as a couple but individuals to then becoming husbands & dads!!💖

Brittana

Brittana was not only one of first wlw couples I had ever seen but the first that I saw actually have a happy ending and even though I could rant for ages about how bad the writers are (especially when it comes to their female, poc & queer characters), I will forever be grateful for just actually seeing their story end with a wedding & all the fluffiness they gave us in season 6!

Again, since I never really saw any queer women storylines in media before them, seeing Santana & Brittany show affection was huge for me.. like damn getting to see two women in a committed relationship on a popular mainstream show that isn’t just played off as a joke and/or just overly sexualized (I know it started off that way/there still were issues with sexualization - since yes it’s glee.. but it wasn’t just those things which is sadly a big deal). So often, same sex relationships between two women are treated as not being as valid, or as experimentation, and/or like some form of weird fetish for male audiences.

So sadly when I was younger & didn’t have any forms of representation to look to, I didn’t even really know women could be gay (well okay yes, I knew there were gay women but more so I didn’t really know what that meant/could look like). Brittana ended up giving teenage me a form of representation and gave me one of those “aha moments” and an example of what a relationship between two women could be.

“Songbird” is my number 1 glee performance.. it made me bawl my eyes out the first time I saw it and it continues to make me feel so emotional every time I listen to it or watch the scene. The song itself is of course beautiful but I think the acting is what truly takes it over the edge. The same goes for any of their other emotionally charged performances like “Landslide” and “Mine”.

I relate so much to Santana, since I too had a very hard time coming to terms with being gay and went through similar phases of acceptance with first admitting it to myself, to then actually dating women privately, to then being at a place to be comfortable publicly. So I loved seeing Santana’s arc with these milestones and how in season 2 she didn’t even want to come to terms with being gay & god forbid admit she had feelings for Brittany to then take us all the way to season 6 she is getting down on one knee to propose to Brittany (the love of her life) in front of an audience!!

I know Brittany is a very controversial character (I understand why and agree with many of the reasons I see for people disliking her) but I do appreciate her in regards to her relationship with Santana. I loved that Brittany was always comfortable with her sexuality (though again the writers suck with never letting her actually really talk about it...). I also feel like season 6 Brittany was what I wished she was like during the other seasons (I felt like there was more of a balance between her being more fleshed out while still maintaining a comedic aspect). One of my personal highlights of the entire show is the season 6 storyline with Brittany & Santana’s abuela.. felt like it really showed how much she cared for Santana while also being protective and not taking that woman’s bullshit..I love her rant so so so much!!

I really hate that nothing canon was given concerning what happened in their lives after the wedding (obviously they were shown in the final performance during the time jump). But I would have loved to know what their lives were like 5 years in the future. I guess the upside is that I can make their future be whatever I want, which I personally adore the idea of them being in New York & close with my other favs.. but Brittany having a big enough following to have some major cash so the girls can travel as they please, maybe even live abroad for awhile until coming back to the states and settling down more permanently.🥰

#yep wow this is long #also thank you so much for prompting this #it made my sucky day much brighter!#didn’t even end up having wifi for most the day so it was nice to spend time writing this up :)#klaine #kurt hummel #blaine anderson #klaine meta #brittana #santana lopez #brittany pierce #brittana meta #text #ask #hopefulobjectmiracle

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