#and its like a never ending cycle..

[entropys]

had a very enlightening and meaningful conversation about social media with my best friend today and i feel like that conversation was too good that i need to write a post about it sometime

#not now tho some other time when i feel like it #but im really glad we had this conversation #we also had another conversation about communication between us 2 and i feel like if i had a therapist they’d be proud of me for doing this #i am a person that cannot handle conflict whatsoever so me and my best friend actually never had a fight #which is.. not healthy i think since we’ve known each other for about 9 years now and have been close for 7 years #damn now that i think about wow.. i’ve known them since middle school and we’ve been besties since high school #but anyways yeah i told them that there’s absolutely no way we haven’t upset one another at some point but we both are kinda the same so we #dont say anything ever… and just keep being upset on our own then the other would keep making the same mistake bc they dont know #and its like a never ending cycle.. #and that bc we dont say anything whenever they upset me i keep thinking of all the other things they’ve done that upset me and drive myself #crazy.. and it got to the point where i need to do something about it or ill explode but i just CANT tell them what they did to upset me #i can’t do it i can’t handle it so i came up with a genius idea #every time they upset me i will write about it in my notes app like i always do and they’ll do the same #then we’ll have a day called confession day where we gather them all in a paper and exchange papers and never talk about it again 🫶 #bc then it’ll be like we both upset each other and we dont want to discuss it or have a fight so its just a way to let each other know #and i think it will help us grow closer and it will make being alive more bearable and i will enjoy their company even more #i know that we should maybe start discussing things at some point but baby steps im sure we’ll get there some day #anyways i really love my best friend im glad theyre alive im glad today happened #they had an accident recently and are currently recovering from an injury do u know how scared i was #im glad theyre here with me :’) gonna go cry and be sappy now goodnight #actually im gonna attempt to study i have 2 midterms tomorrow i did all this when i should be studying #but if i could repeat my day i wouldn’t change a thing #*

[girlboyburger]

wish i had a consistent character to show for this, but since i don't i just used icons :0]

blank template for those that want it under the cut

#different urls at the time of posting each of these too. from uglyramen to vhsanimal to girlboyburger #slowly my lines get thinner and thinner... #this was rlly cool to put together actually. i ended up digging up like #2016 and before art too #like 2015 is when i became a furry #its rlly evident that i used to just mimic the art styles of furry artists with styles i like #like straight up i found pieces tht i traced (didnt post) from like. okamiwolven and ashketchumsays (i think they go by luxebites now?) #waves my hand #its neat. idk. ive stumbled across pieces in the wild of young slash newer artists clearly referencing or tracing my art #i never thought id be the artist that ppl would learn through like that #im not encouraging creditless tracing btw. but. idk. its hard to articulate the kinds of feelings i get from seeing the cycle #of imitating/tracing to developing your own style but w my stuff #i think it makes me feel nice #its cool that some ppl find my art inspiration or aspirational in that way #this isnt like a weird humblebrag or anything btw its just cool #its also RLLY neat to see the things i was clearly trying to do come through stronger over the years #the lines on the coat of otto in the first icon was my attempt at including crosshatching esque texture #and now i do that For Real with cow's hair and more recently with shadowing #shrugs #ive rambled for too long now. hello tag reader. i hope u have a good night #my art #art style timeline

[ganondoodle]

something i keep coming back to think about ... yes more (tiny) totk rant ... is that point that was made in one of the videos of totk criticism- the point being .... why noone apparently even tried to just kinda ... take ganondorfs enigma stone away after he got sealed

i know in the end scene of his fight when he rips it out himself it looks like it kinda fused to him but like ... are you telling me that not even all of the sages combined could get it off?? or they didnt even try? in the memories it just looks like they all go whoop the bestest most goodest god king sacrificed himself to trap the evil evil man in a not quite death limbo! time to leave immediately and stand around to wait for zelda to come to us and beg for us to swear an oath for some rando eons in the future and then watch her transform into a dragon! yippie!

arguing that it got somehow sealed in a stasis with rauru and ganondorf that made it immovable doesnt really work either bc gans body still rots and rauru disintegrates so its not like they became a weird time paradox of a statue

... it kinda makes me wonder then how rauru could literally grab gans heart and seal it but not just .. kill him .. (yeah yeah only mastersword blah blah- THO MY POINT STILL STANDS ABOUT TAKING THE ENIGMA STONE- ...... also shouldnt there have been another master sword that was very much fine around the world somewhere anyway? time travel weirdness and all? .. when gan was literally defenseless couldnt just .. anyone stab him a lil .. or the stone for that matter ...)

sorry i just keep coming back to think about totk bc im STILL trying to make anything make sense but the more i do the more it all falls apart OTL

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #ganondoodles rants #mini rant #gan just snatched the stone from sonia like it wasnt even conencted to her necklace .... the necklace didnt even break #but no one could get gans stone when he was wuite literally frozen #taking the stone would have solved pretty much everything since it .. somehow .. for some reason ..made him in particular that much stronge #and that in turn makes me think again about the weird unbalanced power of the damn stones #its a never ending cycle of trying to make sense of anything and it just leading to it all crumbling even more

[findafight]

Me, lying face down on the carpet: I don't know how many times I have to explain that people love characters like Steve Harrington and Zuko, is that they have done things that are bad. They have said things that are bad. Possibly reprehensible. Possibly violent.

But then. And this is THE fundamental aspect of them that you must understand, they realized they were wrong. They realized that what they did and who they were were not things they were proud of. Were not things they liked doing or wanted to continue doing. Were things that hurt people. They realized that they didn't want to be that person anymore.

And then they changed. They went and tried to apologize to those they wronged. They worked to fix what they had done or helped do. They made strides to be different from what they once were.

Zuko stood up to his father, he apologized to the Gang, admitted to them he and his people were wrong, and taught Aang Fire bending. He changed and he helped and he apologized.

Steve helped clean up graffiti, he went to Jonathan's house to apologize for the terrible things he said and their fight(and got dragged into monster fighting and saved Jonathan and Nancy's lives), he replaced the camera he broke.

They owned up to their mistakes and apologized and did their best to remedy them. The apology and the changed behaviour make these characters likeable. They have flaws that have glared but they have accepted those things, tried to do better than them.

I need you to understand that there are characters out there that do the same things but never apologize. When you question why someone likes character a but not character b, when character a has also done bad things, I need you to think about whether or not that character has apologized and since changed that behaviour and thus been sincere in their apology. That is why. No excuse or justification. Did the character apologize and change? Did the other not? There you go.

Me, sitting up with the imprint of the carpet on my face: Woah haha where'd that come from?

#steve harrington #zuko #atla #stranger things #meta #redemption #finda's rambles #listen im not trying to actually compare them im just saying people always question why the love for them #and its like ?? they changed?? #frustrated when ppl act as though other charscters who also did bad but never changed are more deserving of love because #because canon gives them abuse but it never has them apologize for the abusing they do #like realizing you are perpetuating the cycle of abuse and ending it and trying apologize or mend things is powerful #but do not act like your blorbo did that when they never did. they were abused. that is sad. they did terrible things. that is bad. #they never tried to change away from foing horrible things. that is also bad #just because!! a charscter is abused!! does not mean they are not culpable for their shitty actions!!! #zuko was abused and he did shitty things!! the fact he was abused isnt the reason he was redeemed #he was redeemed because he worked for it. he broke out of the mindset that caused him to be violent and cruel #he apologized directly to those he hurt most directly. and he changed #azula didnt do that!! yes she was abused and deserves compassion but she was also murderous and would have killed her brother! #she had not decided to break the cycle!! #Billy was abused. and then he abused his sister. he was violent. #he would have attacked and potentially killed a thirteen year old black boy for being friends with his sister. #at no point does he realize those actions are unacceptable. at no point does he apologize. at no point does he change #just because he was abused and abandoned does not mean he was not responsible.

[randomnameless]

I think the "Billy should ditch the boar" takes comes from AM being the one route that breaks their self-insert fantasy. Flamey and Emile doing their stuff and the Jerry thing etc do not matter bcs its not being directly mean to YOU, the player, in YOUR story. Edel-chan is a very sad and traumatized girl that will ALWAYS love YOU no matter what you do and she will doodle YOU and squeak about rats n stuff, but you don't have to actually deal with any of her supposed trauma in a realistic way (+)

(cont) She will always be fine and ready to gush after you, the trauma is only a plot device to make her wary of other people that aren't you, and be attached to only you. What she does to randoms doesn't matter as long as she's nice to you. But the evil european barbarian boar dares to actually show his trauma and negative emotions around you, and make you uncomfy, and bring any sort of realism to your fantasy! how dare he! Not only that, but he admits he didn't like you at the beginning!!!(+) (cont) you, the player, isn't above other characters when it comes to him being rude because of his trauma and mental illness, and the story dares to show your avatar feeling sad and powerless instead of badass and cool. He won't listen to you until another character opens his eyes first, and even if you marry him he's still hearing voices and struggling with his issues, your love won't cure him!! Not only that, but AM is his story, not yours! (+) (cont) It relegates your self-insert to a supportive deuteragonist instead of the main hero the plot centers around. He will become The King and you will be just a religious leader, following the footsteps of the Evil Lizard Lady!! Obviously you don't want that!! this is your story, where you can dump all your anti-church IRL arguments into, and be a super cool baddass mercenary who never has to deal with negative emotions!! And that's why AM is the only FE16 route where I actually like Billy.

Sorry anon for the tardiness of the reply!

Yep, I feel like for both Dee and the evil lizard lady, at one point, they are unhappy/upset/angry and more or less negative at Billy - who is, in this situation, taken as the player.

I remember during the heights of 2020-2021 discourse people sending asks to other asking how can they like Rhea bcs she was meant to "u" and whatnot, and it's just... Self-insert at its finest?

But Billy - the character we see in Nopes, FEH and FE17, wouldn't feel like the player in those instances (because Billy the character would never pick the "uwu" option in the Holy Tomb, and Billy the character would understand and/or at least get how Dimitri doesn't want to talk right now) - so again, it's the same old question, who is Billy? An empty self insert who feels a lot of sad uwus when Rhea threatens to rip their heart out as they assist and support who swore to kill her because her ears are pointy and cries whenever Dimitri doesn't want to talk to them, or is Billy the character we see in other games, who shows more empathy and tries to understand people, and thus, wouldn't have been able to pick a certain route in FE16?

Lol I just remember now how some people didn't like Cyril or even Seteth because they didn't slobber over Billy - as the self-insert - in their first 5 lines unlike the rest of the cast ^^

Granted, this "YOU must be the most important person EVER" comes back in full force with the S-supports (tfw seteth doesn't mention his family to billy when they hold hands) and it reiterates something I always knew : Avatars were a mistake.

Parasocial maybe saved the franchise from turning into another F-Zero like saga, but damn if it nuked a lot in the process (and by, a lot, i mean coherence and characters networks).

#anon #replies #sorry i'm late lol #FE16 #But yes to everything you said #AM is Dimitri's story as he learns to rely on people and not exclusively on u #meanwhile Claude who is supposed to open up to people spends most of time talking to you about his dreams than to talk the deers #and given how FE16 Billy isn't allowed to be a character and thus must always be static or nod #there are no interactions #i mean if billy was uwu me #the second clout said uwu church isolationism uwu new values that don't exclude people for being different #i'd say he's full of shit because those have never been the CoS's values and motto #AM Billy is a guide but doesn't push Dimitri #Dimitri follows the path himself because that's what he wants to #after he opened up to his friends who were always by his side #tbh as the game presents it AM is the second coming of post WoH Seiros and Willy #even without the hand holding it was supposed to end like this #but it went haywire and since Fodlan apparently loves its cycles #a world without Billy at its head is per this game not the best thing ever #but tbh I prefer this end to SS

[thegirlinthecher]

You're not going to fix body shaming or negativity by telling someone who doesn't like how their body looks, that they're wrong and that they are beautiful.

Why does everyone and everything have to be beautiful? Sometimes, you can just be. And there's nothing wrong with that. By normalizing compliments about appearances, you're just ensuring that people who don't meet an impossible standard spend their whole life feeling inadequate.

#its a never ending cycle #and its one more thing for them to capitalize on #I'm just tired of compliments about looks. #like yes it can sometimes be a matter of effort and skill #but so are a lot of things about a person. #beauty standards #body neutrality #body functionality >> body positivity

[dekarios]

You can talk about it and I don't think you ever stop missing dogs. I lost one this time last year and still miss her and I still miss the my dog that passed in 2012 too. They are family as far as I am concerned and you will probably always miss her.

Hope you are well and if you need to talk about it please do.

thank u this message rly helped

#fray.txt #ask #Anonymous #i miss my pippy too and i still talk about her like shes with us and send her pics when i show my dogs #and shes been gone awhile now.... i dont actually keep track of the dates ngl #i feel like toos just . touched me in a way that . idk . she was my therapy dog she was everything to me . #when i was at my most delusional i thought we were literal soulmates and spiritually connected and stuff #and when i was at my lowest i told her that im gonna stay alive for her. and that when shes gone i'll go too #its so hard breaking a dumb promise i should have never made #but life without her is so considerably worse . getting up out of bed is agony. doing anything just sucks #i cant do Anything without someone encouraging me cuz she would follow me everywhere without fail and shes not there anymore #i still have her beds in my room #i dont have her toys anymore cuz i buried them with her. she took one of my favourite blankets too #god i wish i could just . loop the last 10 years for the rest of my life #never ending cycle of getting her and losing her #i would do it again and again and again . she was the best thing that ever happened to me

[seratlantisite]

mass effect 3 is fantastic specifically because every plot point in it is a thread from the first two games. they weave together in incredible, creative, hard hitting ways that leave you gutted but my god is it satisfying to see everything pay off

which is why the starchild thing is so bad

who the fuck is this kid get him out of here

#to every writer who has ever thought they need to pull out something totally brand new in the final act of their story: dont #its only good if it changes our PERSPECTIVE on existing info #if its literally brand new could never see it coming. at the very very end?? its bad #which is also why i like this version of the story where its about cycles of organic vs synthetic bc that keeps happening #rather than their first idea they scrapped of like?? reapers were trying to stop us from using eezo cos it was destroying reality?? #THEN WHY WOULD YOU TRICK EVERYONE IN TO USING EEZO REAPERS #HUMANS WERENT DOING THAT TILL THEY FOUND PROTHEAN RUINS #mass effect #says ser

[goldiipond]

terraria is a very dangerous game for me to play because it caters to the deep autistic desire to have so many little fucking collections

#skye's ramblings #i fucken love terraria. one of those games i get really fixated on n then go months without playing once i get bored. never ending cycle #but like theres so many THINGS in this game. ive collected every enemy banner all but two pet summons almost every quest fish etc etc #do you want to collect things and build fun displays for them? well terraria will ruin your life. with love #theres another thing im obsessed with its building my little towns you have no idea. also dressing up my little character <3 #keeps me occupied while i finish my last classes too. brain is too full of assignmence and The Disabilities to draw right now.. agony #anywayay shoutout to me hitting my 500th hour of terraria onthe switch. WAHO

[princeinsomniavoid]

I can't even think right now man I've just curled up into a ball and It hurts

#adventure time #fiona and cake spoilers #like not even joking #not even a little bit #this physically is putting me in agony #I'm not going to be ok for the ending of this #pen ward adam muto and natasha allgeri sure know how to just fuck my entire shit up #like... i can't even try to come up with some sort of theory of how this all ends because none of its good #either Simon dies; puts the crown back on and dies on a figurative level starting this hellish cycle all over again #or goes back to Ooo and continues living his miserable existence without Betty #or lives in limbo with Golbetty which he wont last long in #it just #i don't even know #i have no idea how this is going to go but i know im not ready for it in any capacity #im never going to be normal ever again #im never going to be able to think about anything ever again #im never going to recover #this is going to be Come Along With Me all over again except worse I just know it #im going to kms #i need to sleep #its 4 in the morning #im not okay

[legionofpotatoes]

I played Season over the weekend, which if I had to condense "thematic meandering" into a videogame is probably what I would most closely end up with; but it was still a cozy chill time that targeted my very specific niche of robust cow petting mechanics. Followed by journaling the heck out of them.

I do think cute indies living and dying by their sincere desire to paint the human condition should never ever ever fall into the temptation of obtuse and nebulous worldbuilding that desperately needs to explain itself so it can function as an aesthetic blanket for their vignettes. Just keep it loose and metaphor-heavy, fellas.

Cause if you're not extremely, painfully specific about your intention with a story that centers ignorant tourism and historic preservation, you're gonna beef it, bud

#season a letter to the future #I have so many nitpicks but it feels mean lmao. in a very subjective sense I had a good time with it. I am a boring playstyle guy #scrapbooking and cycling in a pretty world is right up my alley. wish it wasn't so #man idk if I can call it what I want to call it cause it's so unclear of its own optics. the intention feels pure #for whatever good that can do in a context this god damn loaded :D but at least I recorded the froggies on my tapes #(a game like this does not need elaborate lore that it then fails to adequately explain anyway. that is a barrier to many of season's #emotional high points. shit just lacks clarity of purpose and happens as a given and banks on its aesthetic and melancholic context to #provide the necessary backbone for that punch. but then you end up revealing your hand and general flippant disposition towards this #nebulously coded cultural backdrop that you've constructed for ultimately shallow purposes. especially irt to the core ethos #like the game ultimately asks us if dispassionate preservation of a dying culture is more valuable than the vicarious experience of it but #then that binary is never meaningfully weighted since the protagonist survives and succeeds in either option BECAUSE of the journal and? #it all fizzles out in thematic incongruity. maybe it's my own hangups with glorification of legacy to such a manic degree #or maybe it's really just meant to be sort-of aimless and 'human' in that way. which again negates the need for this lore-brain barrier #just keep it simple without the oddly pedestrian mechanics of the literal apocalypse and the mass amnesia prayers and tell #the exact same story. with a tighter grip on the context of who the protagonist is in this land. there's your game) #text

[dullahandyke]

i look at some of u guys talking abt a new show u watched or a new thing u read and im like. holy shit thats a thing u can do. im in awe of u. i spend my time slowly ping-ponging between several interests whose base componants i can never experience because i get scard

#right now its danganronpa again grin. did u know ive been into it on and off for lets say 7 years at this point #and ive never once played it myself. i have it installed on this laptop ready to go and i just! never open it! #because if Im the one playing it then i have to pay attention and i get scared #but if im watching a lets player i just naturally pay attention without the pressure #ive talked before how i always feel i need to have the smart cool takes on shit #n this deep plays into that #idk boti was good for me bcos nobody fucking knew what it was so nobody could judge me for pardoning anotsu's crimes bcos he was hot #so i probs need to do that again #yknow a thing where i disconnect from anything that anyone knows about and get really really into some dipshit manga from 2008 #but also like. i get a lot of my media recs from people talking abt what they like #which then means i defacto have someone who is gonna know if my takes are shit #and like even now. im watching mop cycle w dri and im having fun w it #but i feel bad bcos i see so many ppl like This Is The Best Anime Ever and i just like. dont get it #like i can actively feel the messages and shit whooshing over my head #its a fine anime! i'm having fun watching it! but i don't get all the commentary abt pacifism or whatever #idk. something something my need to be The Smart Kid The Bookworm Kid that went unchecked too long without peers to challenge me #so now im here like Uh Oh #and like this wouldnt be the end of the world (save for its impact on my mood n stuff) #but also like. i am an english student. i should know this shit. but i stragiht up do not feel smart enough to sometimes #i keep coasting by on the assumption that im a smart kid and i'll automatically be better than my peers #and im being disproven #i got an english exam back tonight and i got like 63% #and i like college! i just dont like. college. #anywho its approaching 3am and i have a 9am tomorrow morning which means bedtime

[waloeders]

next person who says somethin dumb abt astarion ascension is gonna get the blue screen of death

#jupiter.speaks #bg3 spoilers #❤️.astarion #kermit don't look #> yes it is the quote unquote evil ending its his bad ending bc its not him healing !!! he isnt healing from his trauma by ascending!!! #> frustrates me to no end like. 'oh so him never bein in the sun + alone forever is better' no him not repeatin the cycle of abuse is #> jimminy chrimis the media comprehension....... pls #> im not even lettin rbs on fuck that can o worms #> anyway! hope yalls days r going well n u havent experienced blue screen today <3

[jirai-kei-freak]

why does it have to be this way

#Why #I was doing so good this past year #There were times I was literally crying tears of joy because I haven’t felt as happy as I was in years #Now shit’s coming back and I don’t like it #Every fucking time man #“Well life is supposed to have its ups and downs” HAVE YOUVE WENT THROUGH WHAT I WENT THROUGH #summer through all the way to the end of 2023 was one of two of the most miserable times I ever went through #I was almost never happy #Had cheap laughs for like 20 minutes then back to misery #There wasn’t a single day were I didn’t wish i was dead #Literally I would wake up and i immediately wanted to start crying #Thats how bad things were #You could see it in my face how lonely and miserable i was #I hadnt felt that empty for like a good few years since then #It was to the point where I thought there was never going to be light in my life ever again #I went through some fucked up shit and now im traumatized 10x more then i was before #The first day of school was a weak after some extremely traumatic stuff happened man #Then the new year started and everything was starting to get better #I started taking medication #I was much more happier #My self esteem boosted up #I started working on myself and became a better person #I dont think i ever had a period of my life where i felt THAT BETTER #Like I said i was crying because I had felt a massive weight lifted off my shoulders #It literally felt like i saw the light #I legitimately thought things were getting truly getting better #It’s just gonna be the same damn cycle over and over again huh? #For several months I feel depressed as shit #Then for a few months things start to clear up #Then suddenly and abruptly things go back to the shit

[eggs-can-draw]

I bless you with angsts and fluff

First emotional termoil

Byakuya isolating himself right after shuichi was born because he’s scared of hurting him, not holding him or being alone in the room with him

Not a a asshole dad way but in a, all I remember is my father hurting me and my mom and everyone he was around and my son doesn’t deserve that, even though byakuya never wants to hurt shuichi

Now fluff

After a few weeks of this

It’s the middle of the night and newborn baby shuichi is crying and this is like the fifth time and it’s only like 1:30am and byakuya knows that makoto and kyoko are exhausted also they barely move at the crying

So taking a moment to collect himself and build up his courage he gets up and makes his way to shuichi nursery

He hesitated before walking through the door way and walks to shuichi crib and looks at him

Shuichi is screaming and crying but looks at byakuya and just makes grabby hands

Byakuya never wanted his father

But shuichi did, shuichi wanted to grab him and have his comfort

So byakuya picks him up and rocks him ever so slightly, he’s scared of hurting him or not holding him right

He was never going to let shuichi hurt like he did

Makoto and kyoko wake up in the morning with byakuya gone and they run to shuichi a nursery to see byakuya sitting and asleep in the rocking chair(and antique from makotos family he was able to recover from a storage unit) with shuichi sleeping completely soundly for the first time on his chest/shoulder

oooooooo sobbing weeping and sobbing some more While I do think Kirigiri would do something similar (which is a story for another time since this post isn't about her lol) both the reason and the complete juxtaposition to what he grows to become hurts in such a hurt comfort way oh my goodness. ALso this just. this kinda encapsulates my take on their dynamic so well and good GOLLY I'm feeling so LOUDLY also ALSO Togami having no idea what hes doing but somehow not messing up is an absolute king move. Imagine Shuichi is told about this when he's older and just. refuses to believe it's true. youre telling him his dad aka mr "freaked himself out so hard he passed out for a few minutes when shuichi broke his leg once" was scared of being around him? balderdash

#eggs can answer #byakuya togami #shuichi saihara #naegamigiri #danganronpa #sowwy if this is kinda short its like 12:30 and im sleepy #thinking about this so hard tho #shakes my fist in the air BREAKING THE CYCLE OF GENERATIONAL TRAUMA #WE LOVE TO SEE IT FOR HIM #family movie night they watch encanto and togami sobs his eyes out #naegamigiri fam loving each other so so so so so much and caring so so so so so much will never not make me emotional #togami and shuichi dynamic is so crazy to me cause like. they have never even shared screentime together in canon but yknow what? #their dynamic has become such a comfort for me #it means the world to me #points that is his little guy and goddamit he would end the world all over again for his little guy #thats his son his little guy his whole entire world and it means so so so so so much to me #g-eetings

[sixftmp3]

less than 24 hours until we get the first idkhow single in two years, and the first BRAND NEW, UNHEARD idkhow music in three!!!

#me.txt #i dont think its truly hit me yet that theres going to be new idkhow #like. a song we have never ever EVER heard before #going into this new album cycle theres no like. songs that only have live performances. theres nothing we've already heard #and are just waiting for a studio version of #like mx sinister and lights go down and door were cases of that #but this album cycle doesnt have any loose ends so to speak #GOD ITS SO EXCITING