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ffsg0jo · 3 days

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toji's not used to this.

the sweet nothings whispered into his cheek, the feeling of the newly risen sun soaking into his skin. his body is telling him to move, to get up, to just grab the money you left him on the desk and leave. but your arms tighten around his torso, and he takes a deep breath in, slightly relaxing into your hold. he reminds himself that there is no money and that there is no reason for him to leave. he's safe in your arms.

he hasn't had to leave before the sun's up in a while now. he's almost forgotten how it feels to be ashamed since he met you. you saw him like he was an actual person. really looked at him, past the hard exterior, and saw more than just a man to take advantage of.

it's taking time for him to get used to being cared for, to being loved. in the year (almost two) that he's known you, it has gotten infinitely better. he's got a roof permanently over his head, is in contact with megumi (the boy's set to move back in with his father just before his birthday) and has gotten a stable job with a decent income. you've helped him with budgeting and saving money (upon his request), and he's even started a small 'megumi college fund'.

he finds himself opening up to both you and his son more, sharing little snippets of the thoughts on his mind and his feelings. with the child growing faster and faster as the days go by, he realises just how alike him and megumi are. emotionally stunted, but both loving fiercely. he has his mother's smile though.

his wife's smile.

his late wife. she would've hated what he became after her death. would've scolded him for leaving his son with a random teenager. would’ve despised the countless murders, her heart breaking at what he’s had to do for money and a roof. maybe it was a good thing she wasn’t alive to see it.

he wonders if she'd be okay with him moving on.

in another life, you both would've been the bestest of friends. you're so alike but so different at the same time. you're both his respite too. she might've left him for you if he was being honest, the thought making him laugh dryly every single time it enters his mind.

toji feels like he can conquer the world with you cheering him on and his son right beside you, in his corner. he's getting better. he really is. but progress isn't linear.

there are still nights where he breaks down, sobbing into your arms.

he tries to be quiet, but his throat clogs up, and he can't breathe. he's gasping for air, trying to focus on the way one of your hands is sifting through his hair and the other rubbing his back. but he slips, and a new wave of tears run down his face. he's spluttering, and there's snot all over your shoulder. but you patiently hold him through it all, press kisses to his hair, gently telling him to let it all out.

"i've got you toji," you whisper. "you'll always be safe with me."

when he's finally settled, you're holding a water bottle to his lips, letting him drink as much as he wants, gently dragging a cool, damp washcloth over his face when he's had his fill. your gentleness and unfiltered love make him want to sob all over again. he's undeserving, he thinks, but he'll never be ungrateful for your love or take advantage of it. he'd do anything in power to become deserving of you and cherish you for as long as he lives.

he'll never be the man he once was. his wife's death had affected him deeply in ways he'll never recover (and part of him doesn't want to fully); she was the love of his life. but he's working on reconciling with what he's becoming and the way you've impacted his life, too.

he feels guilty for loving you sometimes, the way he loved his late wife. you've experienced things with megumi his wife could only dream of. megumi loves you like a mother figure, and sometimes he finds himself loathing the fact. it's not your fault, though, and his therapist's words constantly play on his mind, forcing the negative thoughts out. it's getting better.

slowly but surely, toji is healing. his life wasn't always easy, full of hatred and anger. he's made so many mistakes, he has so many regrets (you'd never be one of them) and he's atoning for his sins. like sand during a storm in the desert, grain by golden grain, his life has been displaced with love. with his late wife's, with his little blessing's, and with yours.

he's loved and lost, and then lost a whole lot more. but now, he's been given the privilege of loving once more.

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cheriladycl01 · 2 days

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Billion Dollar Baby - Grid x Billionare! Reader x Lewis Hamilton (Rom) Part 1

Plot: Girlie loves Formula One, but she also loved Chaos and Drama so she offers the FIA/ the F1 Teams 300 million to do a race … for her under her rules!

Credit to ladygagasource

As a billionaire with a net worth of over 90 billion pounds to your name and your name alone and having multiple stable corporations and investments in loads of different sectors and having donated overly generous amounts to charity, you couldn't help but start to find more interesting ways to invest your money.

You had 7 homes, all around the world completely paid off with about double the amount of cars, whether they were super cars, vintage cars or personalized cars. A private jet, 3 vacation homes and an island.

You lived a lavish life but you worked extremely hard for it, there wasn't really a moment you weren't working.

But you had your hobbies, the theatre (specifically WestEnd), travelling (when you had time away from work) you'd been really getting into sport.

Particularly F1 was an interest of yours. You'd put forward money into McLaren and given them upgrades from your various companies both tech wise and team wear wise.

But you were so intrigued with the sport and the difference from F2.

In F2, the cars were pretty much all the same and it was fully on driver capability. Whereas in F1 you could be a cracking driver but depending on the team you were in you were in a shit box car.

And that's why you were now currently stood in the paddock at Silverstone.

You'd proposed ... to the FIA a race, where you'd pay for driver - team switches that you could choose and run it as a charity event so any tickets sold went to charities chosen by the drivers.

And everyone loved it. I mean why wouldn't they. It wasn't like the teams were loosing out on money because you were paying them to build another car and for the drivers it was just a bit of fun to experience another car.

So here you were, in front of 20 drivers, 10 team principles, some CEO's of the teams, some FIA representatives and some media personal.

"Hello everyone!" you smile awkwardly. Even though you'd done presentations in front of many many people this felt really daunting to you.

A chorus of mumbles and hello's back to you occurred before you stand there awkwardly. Someone was supposed to introduce you, that's what you were told when you first got here but no-one was attempting to come up on stage to help you so you just laugh.

"So apparently no one is coming up to introduce me... so erm if you don't know who i am I'm Y/N Y/L/N and I've proposed money to each of your teams and the FIA to create a charity race where I switch drivers into different cars... Formula 1 really intrigues me to see how you all are naturally talented drivers and that the car really does matter... and i think it will be really interesting for the fans. It's a great opportunity for the teams and drivers to make special merch and special helmets and I just think as drivers it will be a really great experience for all of you!" you grin and there was mumbles questions thrown at you till you PR manager came up next to you to calm everyone down.

"One at a time please!" he says in his gruff masculine voice.

"Are you choosing which teams we go to?" Lando asks first, and you nodded.

"Are teams making a different car? Or?" he asks and you shake you head.

"Teams will rebuild the exact car that they have now. It will just be other drivers inside the car. Do you guys want to hear where you'll be?" you ask and a chorus of agreement flows through the room.

"Okay, so first up our two Red Bull Drivers. Current Champions of both Constructor and Drivers. Max Verstappen, you will be going to Williams. And Sergio Perez you will be going to Haas!" you start and gasps surround.

"So we aren't staying with our current team mate?" Lewis asks looking over to George.

"Okay, as for the current Ferrari Drivers, Charles you will be going to McLaren and Carlos after your announcement of joining Nico in Sauber for 2025 i thought it would be fun to give you a ... test run so you are going to Sauber!" you cheer and they both nod.

"Okay then for my McLaren boys I got Oscar to Ferrari and Lando to ... Red Bull!" you grin and Lando looks down with a laugh and shake of his head. Being a McLaren sponsor meant you spent a lot of time around the paddock with the pair of them.

"Next our Mercedes men, Lewis will be joining Max in Williams" you smirk making Lewis shake his head, you'd always liked teasing Lewis having had a relationship at one point and ending on good terms due to work stresses and struggles.

"And George will be in Aston Martin!" you smile and he nods.

"As for Aston Martin, Fernando you'll be driving alongside Carlos as a Spanish Duo in Sauber and Lance well your dad offered me money to put you in Red Bull but thought that wasn't the spirt of the charity event so Alpine for you!" you grin and you can tell some of the drivers, including Lance are trying not to laugh.

"Visa Cash App Racing Bulls, fuck me that's a mouthful erm Dani Ric you my friend are going to ... Aston Martin nice one and my favrioute driver ... sorry Lando and Oscar but he's literally my son ... Yuki my love you'll be in Red Bull with Lando!" you smile and he fits the air happily before nodding at you in thanks.

"Nico, Kevin Haas hasn't actually been all that bad for you guys this year. You've had great drivers however ... Kevin to Mercedes and Nico to RB!" you smile.

"Williams duo. You guys will be moving up. Logan i think you'll really really suit Ferrari red and Alex you better like Papaya coz you'll be joining Charles in McLaren!" you smile and Logan's face lights up being in a top team. This was really his opportunity to prove himself and that he was a great driver.

"Alpine ... not been an easy season for you guys unfortunately ... Pierre you'll be joining Mercedes and Esteban you'll drive for Haas"

"And finally our Stake Sauber whatever your team name is called will be moving ... Zhou to Alpine and Valtteri to Racing Bulls!"

"I hope this interests you all and you are all excited for the race in two months!" you say and you stay behind talking to some of the drivers until one is left.

"Hey baby" you smirk at Lewis as he leans against the door frame.

"I don't think I'll ever get over you calling me baby" he smiles softly and you smile back.

"Of course you wont ... baby" you grin.

"I'm excited for this race but I can't believe you .. put me in a Williams!" he exclaims and you just laugh before flattening out the lapels of his blazer before looking up at him.

"Cant make it easy for you, I wanna see you fight. You've lost your spark Lew!" you sigh looking over him.

Yours and Lewis relationship came to and end in 2021, just after he'd lost the championship. Said he needed to be more focused on his career. Baring in mind you'd been dating for 5 years before that.

"I-I know, it's not been the same since ..." he trails off and you nod.

"Since Max won... I know!" he smile at him, rubbing his shoulder, but after hearing you he takes a step back.

"No, since we ended things!" he sighs and you look over him in confusion.

"Lew..." you start and he shakes his head.

"I know it was mutual, but you were it for me. You ... you still are Y/N. I want you back and I know you aren't ready right now but you are the one thing i will and always will continue to fight for, fuck another championship ... fuck even another race win. I want you back though and I promise you i'll prove it!" he says looking over you, tears filling in your eyes as he pulls you into his chest, hugging you while stroking your hair.

"Ohhhh Lewis, what are you doing to me..." you laugh, because if you don't you'll cry.

"I'll see you in two months Lew!" you smile and walk out the door. He looks a little gutted your leaving but you need him to prove that he'll try.

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @viennakarma @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 x you #formula 1 #formula one #formula one fanfiction #lando norris #charles leclerc #lando norris imagine #charles lecrelc x reader #lewis hamilton smut #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton #sir lewis hamilton #lh44 imagine #lh44 x reader #lh44 #lh44 smut

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writeforfandoms · 2 days

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A voice of calm

Find the series masterlist

This wouldn't leave me alone so here we go.

Warnings: Soft smut, feels, swearing, teasing, flirting, playful banter. This one is half fluff, half sexy.

Word count: 709

You dried your hands by rote, absent-minded, gaze drifting to Simon. It had been a long day, in a series of long days. Weariness pulled at your heart, and you weren't certain if you wanted to call it a night early, or go curl up with him.

He tipped his head, not actually looking back at you, but clearly wondering where you were.

Your heart swelled with easy affection for this man. You'd never thought you'd fall in love, certainly not like this. You'd fallen hard for Simon. You weren't even sure how it had happened, exactly.

Only that he was woven into your heart, inextricably. Every beat of your heart echoed that back to you.

Sudden longing made your fingers twitch, the damp dish towel falling from nerveless fingers. You bent to pick it up, shaking out your hands.

“You alright?” Simon finally looked back at you with a hint of concern.

“Yeah.” You left the towel on the counter and made your way to Simon. He moved the remote just in time, as you sank onto his lap sideways, your legs perpendicular to his, your torso twisted so you could wrap your arms around him.

“What's a'matter?” His hands settled at your waist, squeezing gently.

“Nothing,” you murmured, throat a little thick with emotion. “Just… love you. A lot.”

His expression softened. “I love you,” he murmured in response, his grip loosening on you. His arms settled around you more comfortably, pulling you in closer to his chest. You held tight to him, the aching in your chest barely abated with the contact.

You kissed him, one hand curling around the nape of his neck, little hairs tickling your fingers. He made a soft, surprised noise against your lips before he responded, his grip on you tightening again.

“Sure you're alright?” He asked between kisses, voice already lower and a little raspy.

“I just want you,” was all you offered in reply, legs shifting as you tried to get closer to him.

He responded to your urgency, tugging at your clothing until he could get to your skin. The skin contact felt good, and your breath shuddered out of you. You pulled back only enough to throw your shirt somewhere to deal with later before you resumed kissing Simon.

It always surprised you how nimble he could be, deft fingers sliding your shorts down even while he distracted you with kisses along your jaw and down your throat.

Somehow, he got your shorts off and tipped you back against the couch. You fell with a squeak, caught off guard by the sudden change in position. Not that you minded so much when he loomed over you, broad and blocking out the rest of the world, all your focus narrowed down to just him.

The first inch of him wasn't enough, felt like a tease rather than a promise. Your legs around his hips encouraged him to sink in all the way, the girth of him a distinct stinging pleasure you never wanted to live without.

He was the most treasured thing in your world, after all.

The slip of his skin against yours was addicting, the feel of him all encompassing. Your fingers gripped and pulled, his holding you where he wanted you. Your desperation to feel him only settled after he leaned more of his weight between your thighs.

By the time he finished, you were overwhelmed, gasping and squirming under him, pleasured tears escaping your eyes. The two of you stayed tangled together on the couch long after you'd both finished, your fingers stroking up and down his back.

“Ready to clean up?” He asked softly, nose pressing briefly to your cheek.

“Only if we get dirty again after.” You smiled, mostly teasing.

He chuckled, tipping his head to kiss you, sweeter now. “Might have to call in sick tomorrow,” he rasped.

“Stay in bed all day?” You murmured, only half-teasing. It wouldn't be the first time.

“Not all day.” His lips skimmed gently over your skin to your ear. “There's the shower. The couch. The counter…”

You couldn't help but laugh quietly, even with the thrill that ran down your spine. “Sounds like we're booked.”

Simon kissed you again. This one felt like home.

#the light #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #f!reader #minors begone #18+ only

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thedeviltohisangel · 3 days

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For A Fortnight There We Were Idea- evelyn and her husband are freshly divorced and he’s jealous of callum, maybe he and callum have a little confrontation

For A Fortnight There We Were

"You know, when I pictured my first time out with another man after my divorce," Evelyn burped with a giggle as her second pint settled, "it was nothing like this." Her and Callum were cocooning themselves in the back booth of a pub, each of them with a baseball hat tugged low and a cigarette in their hands.

"And what were you picturing? An old billionaire on a yacht?"

"I had offers," she hummed as she gripped the front of his shirt and pulled him closer so he was standing between her legs where she sat on a stool.

"I'm sure you did," he mumbled. He leaned in for a kiss and Ev dodged to drop her forehead to his shoulder.

"Someone has their phone pointed at us." The last thing she wanted was photos and videos of her and Callum to be plastered all over social media.

"We don't have to hide anymore, Evvie. Let them watch me love on you." The way he had been dreaming about. Touching her and kissing her without worrying about optics or fielding phone calls from his publicist on how best to keep their distance the next few days until the attention died down. She kissed his neck in response and pulled back to look at him.

"There's no going back." Once they offered the world this glimpse of them, they would voraciously seek out more and more in an attempt to consume all of them. She was afraid it would ruin them. That it only worked because some parts of it were secret.

"I'm not interested in going back. Only my future with you."

"Someone has been reading too many novels with romance in them." Her elbows rested as his shoulders as his nose tipped against hers.

"Evelyn, I'm going to kiss you now." His hand cupped her cheek and she smiled as his lips pressed against hers. She held him close as he pecked her lips a few more times. "Let them say whatever they want to say. We are going to do whatever we want to do and not worry about it."

"That's hard for me." Every minute of every day of her life was planned for her. From waking up to going to bed, she lived and died by her calendar. Callum was asking her to exert some spontaneity. "You might need to kiss me a few more times to bring me around to the idea." His grin was wicked as he obliged.

----

It was dark enough for them to hold hands and walk home from the pub, Ev shocked there wasn't a line of photographers waiting outside after the video of them kissing had already made it's rounds on Twitter. "I want a million more nights just like this!" she squealed as he lifted their interlocked hands and she spun around. "Will you be my midnight snack tonight, Mr. Turner?" she asked. She looked up at him with love in her eyes but he was looking behind her in the direction of his townhouse.

"Get behind me." Ev caught a glimpse of the figure standing by the gate before Callum had her chest to his back, their interlocked hands going into the pocket of his jacket as they walked closer. "Can I help you, mate?"

"You can get your hands off my fucking wife." Evelyn's eyes almost fell out of her head she opened them so wide over his shoulder. Logan.

"I think you need to go." Neither of them wanted to have to call the police. It would bring too much attention.

"She's mine! You can't have her!" Logan stalked forward and Callum pushed Evelyn back and stepped forward to hold his hands to her ex's chest.

"Get in a fucking Uber and drive away. She's not your wife anymore and you don't fucking own her."

"You want that whore?" Logan asked as he pointed at her where she was shivering from the cold and the panic.

"What did you just call her?" Callum pushed him further away from her as he stalked forward like a predator who had found its pray.

"Both of you stop! Logan, go home. Callum, please let's go inside." She reached for his arm and wrapped her hands around it in an effort to pull him away from the increasingly dangerous situation.

"You know what? You can have her. She's so fucked in the head anyways." He had plans to be the bigger man and let it go and go inside the way Evelyn had requested. But then he heard her gasp at his words and felt her fingertips dig into the skin of his arm for solace and knew these were words she had heard come from his mouth before and that they were sending her right back to that dark and lonely place.

"He has two fucking seconds, Ev." He was warning her what was going to happen. Didn't want her to be surprised when he broke his jaw.

"Don't, please. Please, please, let's just go inside." His twitched as he weighed the desire to protect her through physical dominance and to comfort her in the way she asking him to. Callum settled for the latter. He kept his body between her and her ex, bracketing his arms around her as she punched in the code for the gate.

"I'm right behind you," he whispered as he pressed a kiss to her hair.

"Let it go, Cal, please."

"I can't, Ev. Go inside and lock the door. I'll be right there." She looked back once over her should on the stairs to the door and her ex smiled the way he always did when he was toying with. It showed how much he enjoyed still being able to get under her skin.

"I'm sure you want to hit me. Let's get this over with, Turner." Callum shook his head.

"I respect her too much to do that. You've taken enough from her, Logan, did the first honorable thing in your miserable life and signed those papers. Let her fucking go because if I see you again...I swear to God I will welcome the consequences."

Evelyn watched from the window as the two men seemed to exchange threats with each other. As Callum stood and watched her ex-husband get into an Uber and drive out of their neighborhood. He stood there for a few more seconds and let out a deep breath and square his shoulders before turning to walk into the house.

Not for the first time was Evelyn nauseous over the baggage she was bringing into his life. Not for the first time she was scared that it was now one step too far for him and he would leave. Not for the first time did she want to scream out into the universe so it could swallow her pain and lock it away.

And not for the last time she was so utterly in love with Callum that she could finally think of the word forever.

#callum turner #callum turner fanfiction #callum turner fanfic #callum turner fic #callum turner x reader #callum turner x oc #answered #evelyn

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dwobbitfromtheshire · 3 days

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The Truth of the Matter

A Four Part Miniseries

@wonderland-girl143-blog @gregre369 @420-hun

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Steve lay in bed, staring up at his ceiling. He had driven in silence the whole way home as he thought about Bob and still remained quiet after they all walked through the door. There had been a couple of times that he had gone into Radioshack for something, and he had thought there was something familiar about the man. Had that been the connection he had sensed? Did Bob know it, too, or was he blind to what the rune had been hiding? Did his father die not knowing that his son had been within his grasp? Steve wanted to kill the Harringtons. What was he supposed to do with his last name? How could he prove that he was a Newby? How could anyone understand that? The question was. . .was he ready to let go of a part of himself he lived with his entire life even if it wasn't real?

"I can hear you thinking over there," Eddie mumbled sleepily.

It was decided by the kids that they would just spend the night since it was so late. Steve had spent 10 minutes watching from the stairs as Eddie had spun around like a cartoon character as he tried to figure out where to sleep. He was clearly struggling to stay with the kids or to follow Steve into his room. Robin eventually joined Steve on the stairs to watch, and they giggled for a while to whisper about Eddie. Finally, Steve took pity on him and dragged him upstairs. Now, here he was, lying shirtless in bed with Steve with his cheek pressed into the other pillow and his hand placed on Steve’s chest.

"I'm just thinking about Bob. . . He never. . .he never knew I was here. Right here. . .all this time," Steve whispered.

"I'm sorry, baby," Eddie whispered.

"I don't know how to process it," Steve said, tears coming to his eyes. "I'm sorry, you can go back to sleep."

"I'm not going to sleep until you do," he said softly.

"I just keep picturing Joyce looking for Will. . .did he go through all that. . .only to come up with nothing?" Steve sobbed.

Eddie scooted across the bed and laid on his chest, holding him tightly. Steve cried into his hair and quickly cried himself to sleep. When he woke up, Eddie was gone, and he heard the sound of clattering pans downstairs. Steve rubbed his eyes and threw on a shirt he found on his floor before stumbling downstairs and into the kitchen. Eddie was sitting on the counter, sipping coffee, and wearing Steve’s yellow sweater. He handed Steve a cup and welcomed his kiss.

"I tried to cook for you, but Dustin wouldn't let me," Eddie said.

"Can you cook?" Steve asked.

"Well, no, but I wanted to do something nice for you," Eddie said.

"Poisoning him isn't the nicest thing to do, especially since he's your boyfriend!" Dustin exclaimed.

"I'm not that bad," Eddie pouted.

Steve laughed and stepped between his legs, leaning back against his chest.

"He loves cooking," Steve said. "He learned from his mom, and he loves to do it for other people."

"I know we joke, but I love that shithead like a brother," Eddie whispered in Steve's ear.

"Yeah, me too," Steve grinned.

"I heard that!" Dustin smiled.

"The others still asleep?" Steve asked, sighing.

"Very much so," Eddie said.

Suddenly, Robin wandered in, yawning and rubbing her eyes. Half of her hair was sticking up wildly.

"Coooofffffeeeee!" Robin moaned.

"And so the coffee zombie enters the room. Watch out, she's a biter!" Steve exclaimed with a laugh.

Robin glared at him and swiped his coffee. She hopped up on the island, sitting across from them.

"This is all very domestic, you know," Robin said, wiggling her eyebrows at Steve.

"I know," Steve grinned.

Eddie wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist and pressed a hard kiss to his cheek. Steve giggled.

"I hope you know that this dingus is my best friend in the whole world. He means a lot to me," Robin said to Eddie.

"You threatening me, Buckley?" Eddie asked.

"No, I just wanted you to know that it would break my heart to see him cry because of you especially since I actually fucking like you," Robin said.

"I actually fucking like you, too," Eddie grinned. "You know, you'd get along with Ronnie."

"Ronnie?" Robin asked.

"My best friend in the whole world," Eddie said. "She's in NYU right now studying to become a lawyer."

"So, you have a platonic soulmate too?" Robin grinned.

"Yeah, and I'm so fucking proud of her," Eddie said.

After breakfast was done, Steve dropped the kids off at their house. They had complained the whole way.

"But Steve, what about the address in Indianapolis?!" Dustin asked.

"Yeah, we can help," Mike said.

"As much as I appreciate it, you guys need to do your homework, and I think your parents want you back home," Steve said with a sigh. "I don't want them to think I kidnapped you."

"Too soon, Steve," Lucas said.

"What? Even though I said it, and it happened to me?" Steve asked.

"Definitely," Mike said.

Dustin was the first one to be dropped off, and then it was Lucas. Mike was the last one. He paused before getting out of the car.

"I'm sorry about Bob. . .I hope you find your mom," he said softly.

After he stormed inside, Nancy came out with. . .Chrissy Cunningham? They were talking and giggling on their way to Steve’s car. Eddie grinned and rolled down Steve’s window.

"How's it going, Big Wheels?" Eddie asked.

"I told you not to call me that," Nancy laughed as she leaned against the car.

"Oh, did you?" He asked innocently.

"What have you guys been up to?" Nancy asked. "I didn't think you liked Steve very much."

"Uh, turns out I do, very much," Eddie said, blushing. "Very friendly. Just a couple of dudes hanging out."

Steve smiled and leaned over to whisper in his ear. Eddie giggled before nodding his head.

"Eddie is now my boyfriend," Steve replied.

"That's great!" Chrissy exclaimed.

"Thanks, Chrissy, it's good to see you again," Steve said.

He stared at her, feeling a sense of familiarity that he had never felt from her before. He didn't feel like he was related to her, but. . .they were the same. Chrissy tilted her head to the side, and she looked at him in surprise before grinning, her eyes turning an inhuman shade of green. Steve felt his eyes glow, too. She was a fairy, not a relative but a fairy like him.

"How did you remove your rune?!" Chrissy asked excitedly.

"Oh, uh, a witch," Steve said. "You?"

"Same, I accidentally ran into one when I went on vacation with my parents over the summer. Although they're not really my parents, they killed my birth parents," Chrissy sighed.

"Jesus! That fucking sucks. My dad died, but I'm still trying to find my mom," Steve said.

"You're a fairy, too?" Nancy asked in surprise.

"You know about Chrissy?" Eddie asked. "How do you know about Chrissy?"

"How do you know about Steve?" Nancy asked.

"I'm the witch who removed his rune," Eddie smirked.

"Chrissy told me about herself," Nancy said.

"I didn't even know you were friends with Chrissy," Steve said.

"Well, we were friends when I was on the squad, but we recently reconnected," Nancy said, blushing.

"Nancy Wheeler was a cheerleader?" Robin asked.

"Very briefly. And I was horrible," she said.

"You were not!" Chrissy exclaimed.

"I was very distracted," Nancy said and looked meaningfully at her.

"Oh!" Steve exclaimed in surprise.

"Am I missing something?" Robin asked.

Chrissy shared a look with Nancy, and she smiled, nodding.

"Nancy and I dated when she was on the squad," Chrissy revealed.

"Oh! There's a lot more queer people in this town than I thought," Robin said with a grin. "Then again, I didn't think there were fairies or witches or an alternate dimension underneath Hawkins. I don't know which ones I'm more surprised about. I'm a lesbian, by the way."

Chrissy giggled.

"What are you guys doing now?" Nancy asked.

"Going to follow up on an address in Indianapolis that might lead to Steve’s mother," Robin said. "But first, Steve needs to drop me off so I can change my clothes."

"Me too!" Eddie yelled.

"You guys want some help?" Nancy asked.

"She can't resist an investigation," Chrissy teased.

"No, I really want to help!" Nancy exclaimed.

"Babe, I was teasing you. I know how big that heart of yours is," Chrissy said. "But you also can't resist searching for clues."

"Come along," Steve said with a grin.

Nancy grinned before rushing off towards the house. Chrissy's eyes never left her, watching as she disappeared through the front door. Chrissy smiled fondly.

"You guys are cute," Robin said.

"Thanks," Chrissy said.

A moment later, Nancy came out of the house arguing with Mike. He huffed loudly, flipped her the bird, and stormed into the house. Nancy slid into the back seat of Steve’s car with Chrissy.

"Having a little brother looks like a lot of fun," Robin said.

"Oh, yeah, you should try it," Nancy said sarcastically. "By the way, Chrissy, I was looking in my purse when I found this."

She pulled out a large magnifying glass out of her purse.

"I found that, and I thought of you," Chrissy said sweetly. "And I thought it would be funny."

Nancy smiled and leaned over to kiss her before quickly moving back again. Chrissy bit her lip.

"I can't believe I'm the only one not in a queer relationship," Robin sighed dramatically.

"You would be if you just told Vickie," Steve said.

"We don't know if she likes women!" Robin exclaimed.

"We didn't know that Nancy liked women until today!" Steve yelled as he drove off. "We didn't know I was a fairy until yesterday!"

"That's all very fair points," Robin said.

"My dad died without ever knowing what happened to me. The question you have to ask yourself. . .Is Vickie worth taking the risk?" Steve asked.

"Fine! Fine! After this, I'll make a move," Robin said.

"You know, Cunningham, this isn't the first time we've hung out," Eddie said.

"It's not?" Chrissy frowned and then paused. "You know, you do look familiar."

"It's going to come to you," Eddie replied with a smile.

"Oh! You look like the witch who took the rune off of me!" Chrissy exclaimed.

"Wait. . .what?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah, his name was. . . Oh, it was Allan!" Chrissy exclaimed.

"Oh, fuck!" Eddie cursed. "That's my dad, which means. . . My dad was the one who placed the rune on you."

"Small world," Steve said.

"Yeah, I had to pay a pretty penny to get him to do it," Chrissy said.

"Of course, you did," Eddie sighed. "My dad doesn't do anything for free, nor does he do anything out of the goodness of his heart."

"Do you think your dad's the one kidnapping the fae children?" Nancy asked.

"I wouldn't put it past him," Eddie muttered. "Fucking piece of shit that he is. Anything to earn a profit."

"Sorry," Nancy said softly and squeezed his shoulder.

Steve squeezed his hand and held it all the way to Robin's house. Robin hurried to go into her house to change and then talk with her parents. She came out with a bag of cookies.

"Mombie's famous cookies!" Robin exclaimed as she slid back into the car. "Oh, she said this is for you and to wish you good luck. She would have come out, but she tripped over the dog again."

Robin leaned over the seat and gave Steve a slobbery kiss on the cheek. When it was Eddie's turn, he was in the trailer with his uncle Wayne for the longest time. When he came out, he was wearing a Corroded Coffin shirt, and his uncle was leaning against the doorway. Eddie stopped, spun around, and hugged his uncle tightly before running back to the car. He slid back into the passenger's seat with a grin and held up a baggie of sandwiches.

"He insisted when I told him Robin's mom made cookies. He can't cook for shit but he can make some pretty good sandwiches," Eddie grinned.

"Hey, how annoyed would you be if I set my mom up with your uncle?" Robin asked.

"Not very," Eddie cackled. "I LOVE your mom's cookies. Let's parent trap them."

"Done," Robin said and shook hands with him.

Steve smiled and waved at Wayne before driving out of the trailer park, heading towards Indianapolis.

"Oh, Corroded Coffin! How could I forget?!" Chrissy exclaimed, pointing at Eddie's shirt.

"I don't know, you're a freak," Eddie said, and she giggled. "My head was buzzed, and I didn't have these sweet tatties so. . .easy mistake to make, especially since I didn't tell you my last name."

The older teens fell into an easy discussion on the way to Indianapolis. Nancy talked about how she thought she was a lesbian for the longest time and how when things ended with Chrissy, Nancy had been surprised to find herself attracted to Steve, to the kindness she witnessed him give to another student when he was without Tommy by his side. Nancy had discovered a new part of herself, but she didn't deny the other part either. Chrissy had talked about her crush on Eddie before knowing that he was the same Eddie from her talent show. Nancy had pretended to be jealous, but there was this understanding between them that in another life, Nancy would have been with Steve or Jonathan while Chrissy would have ended up with Eddie or perhaps even Steve. The discussions quickly turned into which celebrity they each had a crush on. Nancy also talked about her break up with Jonathan and how it went better than Chrissy's break up with Jason, how they were both there for each other afterward. . .

"We're here," Steve said.

Robin unstuck her drool covered cheek from the window. She blinked rapidly.

"Shit. . .when did I fall asleep?" Robin asked.

"Right when I was talking about heavy metal," Eddie snorted. "I'll try not to be offended."

They climbed out of the car and walked up to a small, boring looking gray house. No one would look twice at it. It was perfect for anyone trying to blend in. Steve stood in front of the door and took a deep breath before knocking. They all waited with baited breath, but no one answered. Steve knocked again, and this time, the door seemed to open on its own. It hadn't been locked or closed at all, though. They stepped into a one room, open space house with a door in the back corner leading to a bathroom, right next to the kitchen. A layer of dust indicated that a bed had been there once, as well as a couch and a desk.

"No fairy markings," Chrissy frowned, her eyes glowing green.

"Fairy markings?" Steve asked.

"Markings only fairies can see, a way for the fae to pass secrets to each other or messages to leave for their lost children," Chrissy said. "It's how I found my parents."

"You seem to know more than me," Steve said softly.

"A little more but not much," Chrissy said. "I still have so many questions."

"Yeah," Steve said softly.

They looked around the house and found nothing. Nancy took out her magnifying glass when she saw Chrissy glance her way, and she winked.

"If I'm going to investigate, I'm going to do it the right way," she said. "Thank you again for the wonderful gift, baby."

Chrissy kissed her before moving onto look for clues as well.

"Now all we need is a talking dog," Eddie said.

Steve stood in the kitchen and began looking through the cabinets as well as the drawers. He came to the last drawer and let out a holler.

"Guys!"

"What did you find?" Nancy asked.

"Part of an envelope," Steve said. "It's torn. . .no letter in it, but there is an address for a house. . . In Lenora Hills?"

Nancy hurried over and looked over Steve’s shoulder.

"Well, it's not Jonathan's house. . .so you're not related to them," Nancy said.

"I fucking hope not, I once had a sex dream about you and Jonathan," Steve said.

"What?!" Nancy exclaimed.

"Focus, baby," Chrissy giggled.

"Well, I guess we're going to Lenora Hills. . ." Eddie grinned.

"All of us are going?" Steve asked.

"Yes!" Nancy, Chrissy, and Eddie exclaimed.

"Lenora Hills, it is then. . . How the fuck are we going to get there?" Steve asked. "Not all of us can afford a plane ticket."

"Magic, sweetheart, magic," Eddie whispered in his ear.

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Text

Kaoru Interview - Burrn! Japan Vol.23 (Feb 2024)

Interview by You Masuda

FAN TRANSLATION

(Note: This interview was held mid-way through the Phalaris Final tour)

The next person to interview was Kaoru, straight after Die. When I asked Kyo about new material going forward, he simply said, 'Ask Kaoru about that', but to be sure, if there is any member creating the blueprints for future new material, there is no doubt that its Kaoru. Of course, I'm aware that its slightly too soon to be asking such things, but I started the interview hoping to at least pick up a few hints.

ーYou are currently mid-tour, but after finishing both days at Zepp Haneda, how are you feeling about it?

Hmm. Its quite.....exhausting (lol). It consumes a lot of energy, much more than we usually use for live shows. Phalaris has a lot of power packed into it, and you really feel it bearing down on you. I'm not even trying to be that active on stage, but still....its tiring (lol)

ーBy that you mean its something different from physical tiredness?

Yeah, the tone, the content of the show, there is a heaviness to it, its something that you just can't approach half-heartedly.

ーKyo said that the songs are all hard work to sing this time. As for performing, there seems to be a lot of songs that you just can't relax through.

Yeah, its the same when playing. It really questions the type of person who is stood there playing on stage...this isnt the type of stage I can just stand around carelessly on. I mean, not that I'm like that anyway (lol). But there is something about it where I just can't express myself unless I fully throw myself into that world. It feels like a heavy weight crashing down on me for this tour.

ーThis is the third tour in the Phalaris cycle, but I get the feeling the first two rounds were not as heavy as this?

They weren't. The first round was quite tasteful, and in the second round we emphasised the 'live' element of it more, it was like a lighter version. If its too heavy from the beginning, its kinda tough on the audience too.

ーWould you say this is an album with such a heaviness that it requires this kind of considered moderation?

Yeah, but we did think we need to moderate this tour too. If for example, we were to do a single limited live show in a big venue to close Phalaris, that would be even more intense. In the shape of a tour, there are times when we are reaching our absolute limits. Thats how tough it is (lol) It didn't seem right unless each show of the tour encompassed that sense of weight and culmination.

ーIn other words you are almost right at your tipping point?

Yes. If we were to increase the intensity further, there is no doubt that the shows would collapse into chaos...which may be ok in some sense, but then we would be unable to continue touring properly.

ーYou touched on this earlier, but don't you have any plans to do a seperate finale for Phalaris in a big venue at any point?

No, we aren't thinking about that, not for now at least. It doesn't mean there is a zero percent chance, but recently there just isnt the venue availability for that kind of thing. This has been going on for a few years now. If we had been able to find a big venue before announcing the tour, then this tour wouldn't have been seen as the 'Final'. So in a sense, ending Phalaris in this way is very rooted in actuality. It probably still would have been this heavy though, even if it wasn't labeled as the final.

ーFor Uroboros, you held a finale live in Osaka jo Hall after a bit of time had passed. Is there no possibility of such a thing happening for Phalaris?

Well, I don't know. Its a timing issue. If we found the perfect venue at the perfect time, and if we were all mentally in that space....I mean, it will be easier to know as time passes, but if we are mentally for it, there may be a possibility.

ーYour answer has raised my expectations somewhat, but I'm not going to get too carried away for the time being. Have you discovered any new feelings towards this album during the current tour?

Hmm....I've been thinking its a good album (lol)

ーIts not like you to sing your own praises (lol)

Well, I mean, after this, if we realease a new single, there will probably be Phalaris-like elements to it, but even putting that to one side, so many of our past songs just fit really well alongside Phalaris. So I think we have been very true to ourselves with this album. Although it sounds a bit odd for me to say that myself (lol). I'm not entirely sure about the overall balance of the album as a piece of work, but it fits so well with our other songs, there is a mysterious feel to it.

ーFitting with your other songs may have something to do with it, but at the time you completed the album, you also said that it contains every part of Dir en grey. I'm sure you werent consciously thinking that while you were making it though.

No, I think I was at times. Of course, this isn't the end for us, but I was thinking that IF the band were to end now, I would want this to be seen as our best work. So as for consciously putting all of Dir en grey into it, no, I don't think thats wrong.

ーMaking the album with that much conscious effort means its not all new. There are links to the past, as well as that link to pull you forward onto your next step.

Yeah, and I've been feeling this even more so on the current tour. That's why I've been thinking this is a good album (lol)

ーI love hearing this kind of thing from the artists themselves. Hearing about the songs fitting well reminded me...With all these songs from Phalaris in the setlist, certain other songs might also come to mind, but to hear songs like Different Sense and Downfall in there, its like they were meant to be. That may be an odd way to describe it...

Heh, I understand. They wouldn't be out of place even if they were on Phalaris. We didn't choose to include specific types of songs while we were making it, but if you search through our past music there are some things that do just roll into place. Its probably going too far to say I was realising this when completing the album, but I feel like I can see Phalaris more clearly now. With this tour, I really do feel that sense of completion.

ーThat may be what a sense of completion actually means. You finally reach that point after realising for yourself what the flow of your past work has created.

Yes.

ーIn that sense, I think this is a very interesting outcome. But with such an intensity to the show from the outset, there is the possibilty of the audience being left behind at somepoint, if you don't get it exactly right.

Hm, I wonder. Some people might have felt that way about Phalaris 2, but this is just us being us. Its just not blowing up with excitement at the end this time, its kind of a different feeling from what we've done previously. The heaviness of the mid-section of the show is due to us being thorough, but I don't feel like its exceptional (lol)

ーAs you just said about the end of the show, closing with Kamuy is a bit different from the feeling we usually get at the end. Did you choose to play this song last, in line with bringing Phalaris to a close?

Well, it was also the first tour to play Kamuy. If we had played it at previous tours, it might have ended up in a different spot in the setlist. But for sure, to play it for the first time at the final, it could go in no other spot. Even if we were to do a seperate final in a big venue, I think it would still come at the end of the encore, not the end of the main.

ーEnding the live with the disquieting tone of Kamuy in the air, then raising the lights and bidding farewell to the audience...even with this familiar parting scene, its quite different from past tours.

With that we simply just want to say thank you to the people who came. Its a way to express thanks at the end of each show. We could just disappear off stage after Kamuy if we wanted to, but as I was saying before about 'the type of person who is stood on the stage', I want to keep this time that I have to express my thanks to the peole who come to see us. I mean, the 5 of us could all gather together in the centre for a farewell or something too, but that kind of structure somehow doesn't seem very 'us' (lol)

ー Yeah, lets save that for another occasion (lol) By the way, it must have been a difficult transition to go from finishing this phase of Phalaris, to confronting the new single 19990120.

Well, it wasnt easy. We did the 25th anniversary tour last year, so from there it was like, 'Should we do some old stuff?'. We would usually be looking at doing new material at this kinda time, but we talked about it, and what with covid and such, we thought there might be a few people out there who hadn't been to see a live show for a while. So we thought we could use some kind of tool to get more people coming back as we move forward. Not in the sense of making an album of self covers or anything, but since the 25th anniversary of our debut is in Jan 2024, we thought we might as well try something. We just wanna try out what we can, because of course there is always loads that we can't.

ーYeah. Self covers or remakes can give the impression of being backwards looking, but as we talked about how past songs have fit so well in the current tour and helped you realise how far you've come, it could be said that looking afresh at these songs from 25 years ago might be the link to future discoveries.

Whether or not this links to new things is hard to tell untill we do it, that wasn't really in my mind. But for now its more like a tool to stir up the 'Lets go and see Dir en grey again' feeling. I can say this, back in the day there were a lot of so-called heavy bands I used to go and see. I admired them and started my own band, I'm that kind of person too (lol) But I think a lot of people like that eventually start to think 'Ah, I havnt listened to that kind of music for a while', they even stop listening to music at all sometimes. Or if they do listen, its the same stuff they listened to back in the day. I wanted to strike a chord with those kind of people and get them thinking about coming to see a show. As well as letting them connect with Phalaris, its just a good starting point to get back in. So these new remakes are part of a plan, as opposed to something we just really wanted to do.

ーDir en grey have rerecored old songs in the past, but those past remakes have been more about updating old songs to match the contemporary sound of the band. Was there no such intention this time?

Its not like there was NO intention, of course, we wanted to put some of our current selves into them while making them. But we didn't want to change them outright. So in that sense, they are different from our past remakes.

ー Without trying to make any big intentional changes, you wanted the natural differences between then and now to shine through?

Yeah, that kind of thing. I think in that sense, we achieved our aim.

ー I see. I actually dug up an old interview from 25 years ago, and have been re-reading it. In it you were speaking about the background to each song and such, but Kaoru, how did you feel back then about releasing 3 songs at once for your major debut?

I though it was a great talking point, but it was hard work (lol) We had first talked about releasing two songs. So we went to LA with this idea and got to work in the studio, but then it somehow got suggested to do three songs. I honestly didn't even know how we were gonna get even two songs recorded, so I was rather skeptical that we could manage three. (lol)

ーWhat song was number 3?

That was Yurameki. We had started pre-production on all three at first, and sent them to Yoshiki. After that we chose the diametrically opposed Zan and Akuro no oka as the two songs to record. But when we went to LA, it was like, 'Ok, lets just do all three'.

ーI can hear the voice of your producer when you say that (lol). Back then, it wasn't that unusual for two songs to be released as a single at once in this category, but three had a big impact. What kind of things made a big impression on your memory back then?

Firstly, there were a lot of people around. Also, it was non-stop photoshoots and interviews. I was always writing music within this kind of bustling situation. It was really easy to lose focus of where we were heading with it all, so I tried to keep a tight hold on only that. But there were still a lot of days where I just had no idea what I was supposed to be doing.

ーYou were having like, 10 interviews at day, right? Wasn't it a bit like those artists who come to Japan for promotion, but like every day?

Yeah, even for photoshoots we would have 3 different studios booked, going here, going there, interviews in between, every time.

ーI'd like to ask about the three songs. On the new release, Yurameki is song number one. Was there any meaning behind recording them in this order?

After finishing the arangements, when we were starting the recording stage, we thought this order would be good based on how the song starts and ends. Its only for this reason.

ーI was going to ask more about the song order, but as for Yurameki, it was a bit of a curve ball for Dir en grey back in the day, wasn't it?

No, not really. We had melodious songs even then, I didn't think it was that much of a curve ball. Its Shinya's song, but he had been writIng songs during the indies era too. It was a recognition of our Shinya-esque songs.

ーAt the time, you said, 'Its a pop song, but we wanted to change up the style'. Does that mean you thought a lot about how to put it out there?

In the end, if we kept it ordinary, it would end up sounding like a totally ordinary song. I actually paid a lot of attention to parts that you wouldn't notice even if you listened to the song (lol). For example, the chord work. Yoshiki would tell me to do impossible things like, 'How about we try this?'

ーWhat do you mean by 'impossible'?

To put it simply, impossible chords and stuff. (lol) But he would say, 'Its only for the recording, so its ok, right?' So we changed our plans, and recorded all the chords one string at a time, then layered them up to make the sound. Not like playing every string simultaneously, but recording phrases one string at a time. So in the end the texture of the sound came out with more of a bang. I was spending a lot of time on those parts that no-one would probably notice.

ーIn other words, you deconstructed the song during recording.

Yes, I took advantage of the fact that they were chords that couldn't be played normally, and recorded them in a way which was unique to the studio.

ーI see. And about the songs Akuro no Oka and Zan, Yoshiki's opposite comments about both songs are in this old article. You said that for the former, he said he was concerned about the collision of sounds, and for the latter, he said 'I don't care about the collision of sounds'.

Heh, that sounds about right.

ー The collision of sounds. These are words I sometimes hear. In short, its where sounds are mixing at a place and a time where they shouldn't, right?

Yes. Maybe its because I'm a guitarist, but I tend to like adding more and more sounds and layering them up. I would suggest something like, 'I want to add this kind of phrase here', and Yoshiki would say, 'No, that gets in the way of the other sounds, change it'. So I would add something different, and he would say, 'No, thats no good either. Do you really need to add something here?'. For me it was like, 'well, I may not need to, but I want to'. It might be a guitarist thing. I say this, because Yoshiki did tell me, 'HIDE was like that, always wanting to add extra stuff in'. (lol)

ーIt must have sent shivers down your spine to hear that. In addition to this, you also said about Akuro no oka, that 'Including the guitar solo, the developments in this song are really satisfying to play'. Is it these chord progressions and such that feel pleasant to guitarists as a rule?

That is part of it. I've always felt comfortable playing this song. But when we were doing the remake, I did wonder whether I should try to go even further with it. Like, could I make it feel even more satisfying? I did actually try it, but it ended up feeling so good, it didn't line up with the original song anymore (lol). So I gave that up. It wasn't Akuro no oka anymore, it had a kind of palacial feel to it. I thought this wouldn't work (lol)

ーI feel like I also want to hear the palacial version, but we do need to preserve the foundations of the song, right? (lol) Okay, so next, the complete opposite of Akuro no oka, Zan. The song itself had been around from the beginning, and it seems like it went through many minor changes to get to where it was?

Well, because we had played it a bit live. But originally, we made it in the studio with me just telling everyone stuff like, 'Im gonna play this part like this, so you play the drums like this' etc etc. And then for the CD release, I actually remade the arrangement, so we could do it properly.

ーGenerally speaking, this is the least fitting of the three songs to be a single. Did you ever question or doubt putting this out as a single?

No, I definitely wanted to release it. So much so as to even say 'I want Zan as the first song' (lol). But it would be tough with only Zan, so thats how we came around to the idea of releasing two songs. Like, 'It has impact, but we need something with a different feel to it too'.

ーI see. It might have been a lot different if not for this decision. The three songs were recorded at the studio 'ONE ON ONE' in LA. (Note: This later became 'EXTASY STUDIO' when Yoshiki bought it, and is now in the hands of a different owner under the name '17 HERZ STUDIO'). This place was well-known for being used by Metallica, but how was it, recording overseas so suddenly?

Well, it was super luxurious. I've never had such a cushty recording experience since (lol)

ーDid you feel like, 'We made it!'?

No, I didn't. Not that long before that I had being doing home recordings, or usIng super tiny studios etc up until our indies era. So no, even being placed in that situation didn't make me feel like we'd made it. It was more like, 'Okay, what do we do now?' (lol) Being in that unfamiliar environment, there was a lot of pressure to make something lasting. We had unlimited use of equipment, but at that stage in our growth, we had limited knowledge, and undeveloped ears. So even if we heard something, we were unable to tell whether or not it really sounded good. It was me, who listened to nothing but heavy music, being told, 'Maybe this sounds better?', but then just responding, ' Nah, I just wanna make it sound more distorted'(lol) I only ever had this kind of exchange back then. But of course, my knowledge, brain, and ears were not fit for that environment. It was a bit of a waste in some sense. But it could be quite interesting if we were to do that kind of thing now. I didnt understand how the sound of a studio works back then, but if it was now, as well as having understanding, I would be able to really experiment with different things. I'd understand about mic positioning, about creating ambience, and all sorts. But back then I knew nothing. (lol)

ー Its seems almost pointless to be in that environment with such a lack of understanding and appreciation, but I think the experience itself probably meant a great deal to you, right?

Yes. I learned the importance of taking time to make something. Looking at a song from different angles, trying to dig into it in different ways. Before that things were never really much deeper than, 'Ok guys, lets make something'. I learned how to put great care into my work for the duration.

ーIts a very valuable thing to learn early on that its not all easy. Ok, so in January you will hold the FC limited live shows in Kawasaki and Osaka. You'll be in 25th debut anniversary mode in mid-Jan, right?

Well, yeah. And after that is the European tour, which will be a bit different from a regular tour. And the after that, a domestic tour entitled PSYCHONNECT. This time its 25 years since Gauze (lol).

ーIt's one anniversary after another, right?

Yeah (lol) The timing was just right to fit a tour in this Spring, and when we talked about what kind of thing to do, a Gauze themed hall tour was suggested.

ーJust to make things clear, this doesn't mean you are going to re-record the whole of Gauze, does it?

No no no (lol). If we did that people would be like, 'Enough of this already, record some new material!' (lol)

ーOf course. But at same time, I'm still kinda curious about hearing something like that.

Even if we were to do that, now isn't the time for it. People would end up thinking, 'What, are you gonna rerecord your entire catalogue??' (lol) That wouldn't be much fun.

ーYeah, interest would drop if it was nothing but rewriting history.

If I was a fan, I'd probably be thinking, 'Is this all they're doing from now on?'

ーRight. The thing we are really all waiting for is some new material after fully digesting Phalaris. Have you begun anything in that direction?

Nope, not yet (lol). I don't even know whether its ok to say this, but I haven't started yet. But actually, I was thinking about getting started today (lol).

ーYou might start writing new music straight after this interview?

Yeah, the interview just came into my schedule at exactly this time.

ーI can't wait to hear what you come up with. When I interviewed you just after the completion of Phalaris, you said that with no regular touring during covid, it had been difficult to communicate and exchange ideas with the other members. Does this mean that normality has returned to the bands' interactions. Are you able to make new music whilst interating with the other members on tour again?

Yes, we had already got back to a sense of normality by the tour before this. but now we are actually discussing next moves and stuff, and we are ready to get started. Straight after this interview, to be exact (lol).

ーLet me ask you one more thing. We touched earlier on the European tour which will be held in March. Its the first overseas tour to have past albums as a theme. What were you thinking about when deciding this?

We had originally talked about doing it in 2022 as part of the 25th anniversary run. But with the pandemic, and also trying to balance it out with the Phalaris tour, we were unable to make it happen then, so we slided it over to 2024 just as it was. People might be wondering why we are doing it at this time, but we had planned to do it from before, and now we just finally have the chance to.

ーWould you like to return to overseas touring as it used to happen previously?

Well, yeah, but its not easy. The reality is a lot different now than how it used to be. Its really not as simple as to just say, 'Let's go' now. In this case, we managed to make it work by seeing if we could do it at this particular time, but I can't be sure about future overseas tours. So to the fans in Europe, I want them to come and see us this time. Don't wait for next tme.

ーIts really interesting that the themes for this European tour are Uroboros and Withering to death. Your first ever tour of Europe was with Withering to death. These two albums have been influential in Dir en grey's overseas activities.

Yeah, we were overseas the most with those albums, and with The Marrow Of A Bone. I had thought about digging a little deeper, era-wise. Like maybe taking Vulgar overseas or something. Maybe if we have a chance in the future.

ー There are still many paths open to you. What about a Gauze world tour?

Heh, that would require a lot of motivation (lol) It would be impossible otherwise (lol)

ーWhether or not you ever manage that, there are still a lot of other things you need to do, and things you can do. I'm looking forward to seeing what kind of year 2024 is for you.

Thank you. Hopefullly it won't be long before we have something new to put out.

#dir en grey #kaoru #薫 #I agree that Phalaris is thier best album #great interview #Comments about overseas touring #Vulgar overseas tour!#long post

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vampiricgf · 1 day

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☆ LUCKY GIRL SYNDROME

ᝰ you were the luckiest girl in that tavern, and he just had to have you, hold you, hope it could rub off enough to get him through.

f!reader, dead dove do not eat, pre game setting, mention of suicide, kidnapping, confinement, alcohol consumption, stockholm syndrome ish, physical violence, noncon, oral, fingering, restraint, underwear gag, pls mind the warnings don't like don't read!

It started when he heard your laugh, a sound that reminded him simultaneously of silver bells and the audible glint of steel glancing off steel.

It had cracked apart his hunters haze inside Elfsong, enraptured by the way you threw your head back and laughed. Laughed so hard he watched you nearly double over, grip the edge of the bartop like it was all that could hold you up in the world.

He decided then he hated you. Hated you and didn't even know you. Never would, so who cares?

Almost unconsciously his senses attune to you, not far enough away that it takes any straining so he's able to sip his glass of red swill and soak up every word.

But good gods above if every word wasn't smacking of naivety, listening to you blather on about how you'd just decided to head out as some do gooder adventurer, some already self mythologized hero. With a roll of his eyes he took another mouthful of the gastly, now lukewarm wine. Tapped a fingernails edge against the glass in a lazy rhythm.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

You chattered on to anyone who would spare their ear for even a moment, bursting with excitement and youth yet saddened apparently by having to leave younger siblings and your parents behind. A brother, mother, father. What a lucky girl.

Something nearly surfaced the ravaged black tar of his insides then, something just barely glimpsed from the surface and making his upper lip curl in disgust for a moment.

You don't even know what you have. Don't even know how goddamn lucky you really are. And you'd throw it away for what, a life of curling up in dirt and most likely dying in some abandoned backwater? Your bones moldering in some hovel while you leave people behind selfishly to grieve? Not any kind of life at all.

And he would know something about those kinds of lives.

He decides then, that you're perfect. It'll be so easy, painfully almost, because he can tell just by looking at you that you're already much too inebriated and much too thrilled by the feeling of any pair of eyes on you. Young and inexperienced.

Already so eager to throw it all away.

After two hundred years there was no more feeling in the action of taking someone by the hand, taking them into bed, turning them into phantoms. It was a disconnect blur as he set down the smudged glass to saunter up to you, parrot the best lines and he's glad he can't see your eyes clearly or hear your voice over the roaring blood rush as you slip your hand into his.

In record time the two of you are no more than shadows receding from the comforting glow of street lanterns.

When you wake it's to the prickling, tightening feeling of your scalp. Hide and seek feeling. Some distant instinct that tells you you're the prey being observed by the predator.

It's hazy in the room, the sort of darkness that usually accompanies fog if you're standing outside.

Your head pounds with the effort of memory recall and even through the dreamlike gleam you're aware you came here with someone. A man. An incredibly handsome one, one who made you feel suddenly shy and fiddle with the hair behind your ears.

Something breaks your already slippery grasp on it all, and you gasp as it comes into focus through the dark. Glinting eyes, reflective in a way that makes you think of wolves laying in wait. You pull the rumpled sheets up to your neck, fingers twisting in the fabric as your body tenses so rigidly you can't help but wince.

"Who are you? Where am I?" It doesn't take you long to find your voice, a horribly jumpy thing. Like trying to clasp your hands around a wriggling frog, erratic at it's capture.

A sharp tch, catch of tongue against the roof of a mouth. It makes you flinch.

"How insulting. I thought I gave you quite the memorable performance." The words dripped with something you struggled to place, contempt perhaps.

Another deluge of memories makes your skin run hot, as if seared by an iron. That same man's hand on you, his mouth warm and damp against your skin, the way he had you clawing at his back. Unconsciously your thighs rub together at the memory of it.

"Is it... still night?" You ask, voice finally feeling a little more corporeal though the fact that he had yet to step into your direct sight still unnerved you. Speaking only to a pair of reflective eyes wasn't something you were used to doing.

Suddenly something else occupied your mind and you aren't sure where it's come from or why but the credo of the rack stricken lord whispers against the boundaries of your brain, bringing the scalp tingling feeling back full force.

You do not trust this man.

Rather than answer he finally sets foot into view, but what should being relief instead only makes your synapses fire off in panic. The glint in his eye is hard, the set of his steps too coiled. He's waiting for you to bolt.

There was no luck in "surviving" the attack that left him on deaths door. There was no luck in who his savior happened to be. Well over one hundred years of torturous slog and his so called luck seemed to be preordained by god's that couldn't give less of shit. Screaming and wailing that fell on deaf, unfeeling ears. He can't even kill himself.

He despises the word luck.

He watches your sleeping form from the chair across from the bed. Eyes narrow, never missing even the barest twitch of a finger.

And then there's ones like you. Sweet as sugar syrup, just as cloying and tacky against the tongue. Ready to toss away whatever good you have in your life, ungrateful, and ignorant of what suffering could find you. Of what suffering really is.

It makes his jaw clench so hard he can hear the hinges clicking, straining.

Lucky.

Internally he's kicking himself already, but it's not like this was planned so the smaller voice inside is keeping up a give yourself a break refrain. If he had the stomach for it he would've made sure you were truly inebriated.

The halfcocked idea was already sideways, he should throw in the towel, take you back like he's supposed to. Be a good boy. Immediately the thought creates a white hot flash of anger and he resolidifies that no, he's not wasting the opportunity. Not wasting you.

A good thing the lower city has more than enough abandoned property.

It's hardly comfortable accommodations and you'll realize it soon enough but again, he was in a rush. Giddy as a child over the thought of having something to himself for once. Something to savor. Something to come back to.

Because you see part of the problem being locked inside that gaudy mansion isn't only the decor that's about five centuries behind, not even the so called kennel master overseeing his whimpering charges, it's the fact that they're allowed next to nothing for themselves.

Any scrap of ownership is ferreted away and protected with snarling teeth and the threat of violence. Too bad it never lasts long, and most give up after once or twice being thrown down to get strung up. Flesh flayed. Bones snapping like soft timber. The pain so constant you forget what it was like to live without it, it disappears into the background as if it always existed. Maybe it did. It's impossible to recall anything else.

So you see, how could anyone blame him. How could you blame him? Like a glittering necklace dangling off a branch for a crow, do you fault the beast for it's instinct to hoard it for itself? Of course not.

In an instant he's on you, pinning those arms before they can flail and shoving his fingers into your mouth before you can start making a fuss, teeth bared to display enough animosity to shut you up. All you do is squeak around his fingers like a mouse caught in oil and it satisfies him, for the moment.

He wasn't always this way. Couldn't have been. Refuses to believe that steadfastly, if anything prior to his year of confined torment in a coffin he could've even said he was almost sweet. But something shifted after that year. More apt to say something died in the way he wished he could've.

Angelic slumber.

He'd nicked a few of them from crates awaiting the sticky fingers of the thieves guild by the docks in grey harbor over the course of many nights, and as much as he'd like to use them for himself they're much better put to use with you.

It was good you were compliant, he could honestly say he held distaste for certain flavors of violence and didn't want to have to use any of them on you if it could be avoided.

The only bad part of it was the pity on your face. It made him feel a strange sort of irritation, bordering on rage. He didn't need your fucking pity. Better for you to be knocked unconscious so at the very least he didn't have to see the way your mouth would set in a half frown, eyes full of both anger and sadness.

The only other problem was that he didn't know where to go from here. What would he do, keep you knocked out until you died? Not viable and not really what he wanted, but he also wasn't sure what it was exactly he wanted from you.

To care about him? To know him? Gods, to love him? The thought makes him recoil as if caught in sunlight. No way that would ever, could ever, happen.

Unwillingly thoughts of the first night batter his brain like waves against rocks: how it felt to have your legs wrapped around his hips, the bite of your nails against his shoulder blades, the feeling of your lips against his clavicle.

His fingers creep against your ankle, feeling the bone and the knob of the joint as his wide eyes remain glued on you. Maybe this is part of it, after all no encounter over the last hundred years has been memorable. Only yours.

What would it make you feel to know he'd made sure to be on his best behavior at the mansion, not crossing his master or jeopardizing you by getting himself locked in the kennels. Would you even be able to understand it, to appreciate it?

He wishes you could. Maybe if you were stuck there instead you could form an appreciation for this.

Again, thinking softly about you makes him raise his lip in revulsion and his hand curls harshly around your ankle. Yanking you down, unconscious dead weight as you sleep soundly.

Do you even know how vulnerable you are?

Do you know how lucky you are he's not like most others who prowl the city streets after dark, who knows where else you would've ended up if he hadn't... intervened.

That first month of nights were hideous and inconvenient, no matter what he did or how kindly he approached you were belligerent. But soon enough you learned being good meant no potions and he would give you little bits of normalcy.

Such as the one in your hands now, behaving meant you could read. Not that he could offer anything you asked for specifically, it was only things he could steal when the opportunity arose but he was relieved they seemed to hold you over regardless. He'd also brought you a copy of Baldurs Mouth that he'd found discarded in the park, and as his eyes lazily scanned over it now he stopped.

There was no way he could give this to you.

There in print was all the information he really hadn't cared to know: your name, your age, where you were from. It looks like a concerned relative had badgered the Fists enough for a report to appear in the paper. Which isn't too much cause for panic, they've always been more concerned with roughing up the people for money than doing any of the faux chivalrous horse shit they preach.

He just didn't want it to renew any kind of fight in you, that would be a true irritation and there'd be no way he could talk you into a potion of angelic slumber to sedate you either. Not in a state like that. He'd have to resort to violence as he's sure you would do the same to start, like a desperate clawing thing trying to spring it's trap.

Too lost in thought he doesn't notice at first the way you drape yourself against his leg but it makes him nauseous as hes immediately snapped back to the present. With a little more malice than he realized he batted you off, kicking his leg out to keep you away solidly.

And gods be damned you actually pouted.

It makes him bark out a harsh laugh, making you skitter backwards across the floor even more until you hit the dusty plaster of the wall glaring like a petulant child. It was puzzling, he wasn't sure if he wanted you scared or pliant. Wasn't sure either one was entirely the point.

Quickly he remembers the paper now neglected by his feet, better to get rid of it before your eyes land on it.

"I thought you said I could read. I was good." Your eyes never leave him as you hold your hands close against your chest.

If he were more prone to violence he'd probably smack you across the face for the snarky tone of voice. Instead he settles for a glare as he balls the paper up in his hands, deforming and destroying it as your eyes widened.

Clearly you didn't appreciate the sudden change in the rules.

"That's not fair!"

Immediately something shifts internally, and suddenly it's like he's viewing the world through a thick layer of ice. Muted and incomplete, dreamlike.

Before your voice can go any higher he's got you by a fistful of hair, dragging you back towards the center of the room. You kick, legs jerking with no clear intentions as your fingers dig into his wrist. It doesn't feel like anything, like he's watching this occur with other people, a voyeur peeking in windows and coming across a truly regrettable scene.

You wail as he shoves you against the groaning floorboards, straddling your hips to keep you pinned down and holding your arms beside your head with so much force your features morph with the pain. An adorable little divot between your brows he'd gladly smooth away but quickly the thought is replaced by more anger that it had even occurred.

"Did you forget?" His own voice sounds foreign, a strained hiss.

Tearfully you shake your head, much too fast, but he's pleased. "Do what you say and it'll be fine."

Gods you sound so meek. A far cry from the giggling airhead in the tavern, good. Although he hates the way you say it, blankly parroting it back and for a moment he wonders if maybe he's damaged you too much by knocking you around even just that little bit.

Quickly the thought is dismissed. No, you'd be far worse off out there and besides, you're his.

It disgusts him but through the mental haze he thinks back to your earlier action, how you'd been attempting closeness. So maybe that was the real secret, he just needed to give you something that felt real enough to keep you docile. Well, it's no greater ask than what he does every time he leaves here each night. Appearances to keep up, a master to placate. Still, his stomach practically heaves but it's second nature to embrace fully the feeling of cleaving himself in half.

The part that can go through with the motions and the part that would rather be anywhere else. Rotting in the ground.

Stiffly he yanked the ties out from the neck of the flowy undershirt he wore, wrapped them around your wrists quickly. Your breathing picked up in short gulping bursts and all he felt was agitation, he wasn't indulging in this pathetic display. Roughly a hand clamps over your mouth as he looked around for something to stick in there, at least to lower the volume of your simpering.

As you slick up the palm of his hand he gets an idea, withdrawing to place a kiss against your spit soaked lips that makes you squeak in shock. Before you can question him his fingers were dipping into the waistband of your trousers, your underwear.

You didn't do much to resist so he took it as confirmation that this was what you were attempting to communicate a need for, and kept sliding them down your legs until he'd gotten them past your ankles. With another kiss, a perfectly crafted grin, he shoved the panties deep in your mouth and ignored the gag you let out.

Your upper half twisted, awkward half movements since his own body prevented you from thrashing in earnest and he watched, oddly fascinated. It was no good that you were still so willful even after a month, and he couldn't keep stealing potions eventually he'd get caught out. But it was somewhat satisfying to see you squirming, to be the one in control.

It was strange how calmly he shushed you, how gently he petted your head. Even stranger was how easily you relaxed into it, craving some form of affection after being isolated for so long. He wasn't sure you remembered your own name.

It was easy to let go and lean into it, which made him breathe a silent breath of satisfaction that he was right and that maybe this would keep you sated for a while.

Quickly his lips trail down your throat, skip over to your stomach and down your abdomen until he's got your legs spread listening to you whine as you wiggle your hips. It's easy enough to hold you down by the hips since your hands are incapacitated.

With that same dreamlike quality he finds himself licking a stripe up your soaked cunt, parting your puffy folds and being pleasantly surprised at how you groan so deeply even through the makeshift underwear gag. His every touch has your body jerking and it's strangely endearing how sensitive you must be.

In a rare moment of softness he plants a kiss to your clit, prodding the little nub with his tongue just to hear your muffled squealing. It was cute, in a weird way. Maybe this would actually be enjoyable.

The thought reinvigorated him as he slid two fingers inside you, watching with a perverted intensity at the way you suck them in and clench around them. The sound your cunt made was beyond obscene and it made him eyes blow even wider as it mingled with the broken unintelligible noises coming from your gagged mouth.

He moans in response despite himself, could angelic slumber change a person's taste or were you just naturally musky sweet? Either way it hardly mattered as his tongue worked circles against your clit, alternating between sucking on it just to hear you yelp and feel you grind against his face.

This was different, he was enjoying himself.

That alone makes his movements mirror those of a starving man at a feast table. His lucky girl, his good girl. He'll have to reward you extra after this but he doesn't mind. This is the most fun he's had in over a century.

#astarion x reader #astarion smut #astarion x female reader #astarion x you #txt ☆ˎˊ˗#astarion #dark content ☆ˎˊ˗#tw dark content

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werewolfsmile · 2 days

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I need to know your thoughts on what was going through werewolf!Eliot's mind wen the team was filming Howl Force, the werewolves-attack-NATO movie in "The Stork Job"

Ohhh myy goodnessss I completely forgot about that!!!!!!

Eliot took one look at the script and rolled his eyes so hard that it hurt.

He definitely encountered some local werewolves on the set and they all shared commiserating looks of can you believe we're producing this crap??

His training and discipline were the only things stopping him from interrupting filming with corrections every time the 'werewolves' did something completely inaccurate.

The pre-recorded howls used on the film set are not from wolves local to the region where the movie is set. Eliots tries really, really hard to let it go ... he can't.

"Wha- No! We're not changing the wolf howls just because you think it's the wrong wolf dialect or something. That doesn't even make sense."

"It's a very distinctive howl, Nate!"

"We're not even really making this movie!"

(fun fact: wolves actually do have different 'dialects' depending on where they live in the world!)

The only good thing to come out of that movie experience (y'know, aside from the con they were pulling) was knowing that none of the werewolf lore in the movie was accurate. Eliot doesn't have to worry about his secret being exposed in that way.

Later, when the Big Reveal happens, Hardison remembers this movie plot and how annoying Eliot was on the set when he wasn't conning Irina.

"Wait, Eliot, hold up. Howl Force is real??"

"Are you kiddin' me?? Y'think werewolves would have any reason to kill NATO troops? That movie was a disgrace!"

"I liked the howls."

"Dammit, Parker!"

Sophie is instantly bitter about the reminder of her lost reel.

#eliot spencer #leverage #the stork job #werewolf!eliot spencer #leverage fantasy au #nate ford #sophie devereaux #alec hardison #parker leverage #parker #my posts #thank you so much for this ask you have opened a MASSIVE can of worms in my brain!!#i so have to include this in the fic i'm writing now #ohhhh myyy goshhh #what other references did they make in the show that would have a different meaning after eliot's werewolf reveal???#so. many. thoughts.

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goblinwithartsupplies · 2 days

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A half blood Christmas

I’m a huge lost media buff and I just realized I had this floating around in my phone and thought I’d post it incase the hosting website ever shut down. It is copy pasted directly from the website and all credit goes to Rick for writing it and the translation from Italian was done by Ari Wilde and Cam Baragiola

PJO ITALIA

dicembre 25, 2020

AN HALF-BLOOD CHRISTMAS (UN NATALE MEZZOSANGUE), A SHORT STORY BY RICK RIORDAN —

Rick Riordan posted a new short story on his official site today, set in the Percy Jackson Universe. The story was originally published on La Repubblica, a renowed Italian newspaper. This short story is the first that Rick has written entirely in Italian, a language in which he appears to be fluent in.

Since Italian is our mother-tongue, we were very excited and eager to read this story, and we have decided to translate it in English, and share it with Percy Jackson fans from all over the world!

An Half-blood Christmas

“Where are we?” asked Percy. “Florence,” said Nico.

Percy furrowed his eyebrows. “And why?”

The son of Hades snorted. “It's not like you need a reason to go to Florence. But you told me that you'd like to find a perfect gift for Annabeth, right?”

“Right.” Percy pressed his hands on his stomach. He never liked shadow travelling. “But I thought that we were going to go to Times Square's Christmas market. There are so many stands –”

“Times Square!” Nico shivered. “You're romantic. If you want a gift that's worthy of your girlfriend, you need an Italian gift, everybody knows it. Come on.”

The streets in Florence were empty. The winter clouds were heavy and grey. In front of Nico and Percy, the massive dome of the cathedral looked like a huge medieval spaceship, ready to take off.

“The shop is near,” Nico said, walking across the square. His face was hard to read due to the mask that covered his mouth.

“Which shop?” Percy asked. Nico didn't reply.

Percy looked at the shop shutters, the only people in the square were running around. Even the very tall Christmas tree seemed to shimmer sadly in front of the cathedral. In Italy, as in the States and everywhere else, this was a very hard year. Demigods, like Percy and Nico, couldn't get sick during the pandemic, but they could spread the virus, so they had to wear masks to protect the mortals in their lives, because that's what heroes do.

However, the son of Poseidon was tired and ready for a new year. Recently, monsters were "social distancing" too, and it was difficult to fight monsters with a sword when you were six feet apart.

‘Here we are,” Nico said.

The front of the shop wasn't much different from the others. It was at the entrance of an alley, with an iron grate on the closed door and advertisements on the dark windows: Jewels! The best offers!

“Seriously?” Percy asked.

“When we get in,” said Nico, “act kind and respectful.”

“As usual,” Percy said.

Nico coughed. “Anyway, this shopkeeper will help you find the perfect gift for Annabeth, I promise you. But. . . ”

“But?”

“He's a little strange.”

“As usual,” Percy repeated. He checked his pockets. “And how should I pay him? I have only dollars and an expired copoun for sandwiches.”

“Don't worry,” Nico said. “The shopkeeper doesn't charge for money. He'll let you pay in other ways.”

“Now I'm worried.”

Nico opened the grate, pushed the door and went in. Percy followed him.

Inside the shop, the walls were covered with lockers full of jewels and trinkets of any kind.

Behind the counter, with his back turned, there was a man with a huge red cloak, hair like a wild and white avalanche. He was working on a desk, repairing a diamond necklace.

“Impossible,” Percy murmured. “Santa Claus?”

“Where?” the man exclaimed, turning around alarmed.

He wasn't Santa Claus.

His cloak unfolded, becoming red wings. From his white hair appeared pointed ears like those of a lynx. From his beard, which was also white, boar tusks were lifted. His nose was a beak like the one of a vulture.

Percy swallowed. “I'm sorry. I thought you were somebody else.”

“Percy,” Nico said, “let me introduce you to Charu, the Etruscan god, guardian and guide of the dead.”

“Pleased to meet you,” said Charu, eyes burning like flames. “How can I help you?”

“Excuse me,” said Percy, “are you an Etruscan god?”

“Yes, yes,” Charu said. “Before the Roman intruders, these lands were the home of the Etruscan people. For this reason, this region is called Tuscany, are you following?”

“But why –?”

“Percy,” Nico interrupted him, “Charu is the last Etruscan god. He stayed after the others were gone, to help the dead cross over.”

“Alas,” said Charu. “That's true. I'm still waiting, hoping for other gods to return, but it has never happened.” He pointed a finger at the shop windows. “During the centuries, many have come to my shop, marching towards death. Nobody ever comes back. Well, there was that one guy, Dante, but except for him, nobody. People, and gods, leave me their most prized possessions for safekeeping, as you can see. What are you looking for?”

Percy wasn't sure he wanted to get Annabeth a present that had belonged to a dead god, but he didn't want to offend Charu. He explained the different things that Annabeth liked.

“Does your girlfriend like strategy?” Charu smiled, baring his tusks. “I've got just the thing.”

The ancient god took something from a locker. It was a gold bracelet, made of tiny keys. “This”, he said, “has been crafted by Sethlans, the Etruscan god of the artisans. The keys . . . well, I'm just saying, they can open many things and solve many problems.”

Percy was stunned. “It's perfect,” he admitted. “But it must be expensive.”

“I'll just ask you a question,” said Charu. “Tell me the right answer: why should ancient gods, like myself, celebrate Christmas?”

Nico looked nervous. Maybe he didn't think Percy would ace an oral quiz. But Percy thought carefully at the past year and at his friends, like Nico, who had helped him through it.

“Because”, said the son of Poseidon, “Christmas is for everybody. It represents hope. Especially in those trying times, all of us — gods, demigods, mortals — have to help each other out. We have to remain alert and optimistic, like you, watching over those who cross. ”

The god smiled. “Well said. Here's your gift. Maybe we'll meet again, eh? Merry Christmas!”

Once they were outside again, Nico said: “That was impressive, Percy.”

“Thanks,” said Percy, holding the bracelet. “But I guess the perfect gift is not a jewel. It's a good friendship. Merry Christmas, my friend.”

“Same to you, Seaweed Brain.”

Percy laughed and, together, they walked back into the shadows.

#pjo #percy jackson #pjo hoo toa #jason grace #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #rick riordan #media preservation

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quitealotofsodapop · 3 days

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Im sobbing and jsut imagining MK and the Noodle Gang doing a visit to FFM during Slow Boiled (either not the version where DBK dragged Wukong to live st the palace or a version where Wukong managed to convince them to let him live in the conforts of his own home) and see him working on building a shrine. First, they immediately stop him because "Wtf you're pregnant! Put the hammer down!" before asking what the shrine was for.

"Ah, it's a bit... personal. I'd been meaning to rebuild this old thing for a while after it got destroyed in... the Burning..." Wukong's face faltered a moment here at the memories, "but hadn't been able to bring myself to do it. I figured I'd finally get around yo it."

It doesn't take long to realize this shrine was to honor an ancestor of some sort, although with Wukong being well known for not having parents (as far as they knew) they were confused and asked who the shrine was for. Wukong had a sad, almost nostalgic smile as he calmly, yet somehow enthusiastically, explained.

"He was the Elder of the troupe that led us when I was a cub, before I became the Monkey King. He-"

"Wait! You weren't always the Monkey King!?"

"*sigh* Yes, kid. Once upon a time, I was a cub just like anyone else. Anyways! He was a storyteller at heart and ancient, like, old enough to remember the Great Floods ancient! See, the thing about him is that he was like me, a stone monkey. So when I hatched, he took me in and raised me, taught me about our people. As much as he could, anyway. His memory was going, and he wasn't long for the world even when I was still a cub."

"THERE WERE MORE-"

"Yes, scholar... I was not the only Stone Monkey."

DBK can't keep his little bro locked up at the Bull palace for long. Red would sneak Wukong out if he asks nicely. PIF and DBK just sigh, they can't cage a free spirit.

Wukong getting the drive to fix things up around FFM, only for the Noodle Gang to stop him from doing heavy construction. You know Pigsy makes a choked squeal the first time he sees Wukong trying to climb a ladder unassisted.

When Wukong finally explains what he was trying to fix, the gang's hearts just drop. Is it well known that The Monkey King did in fact lose people in the War - to think that he lost the closest thing to a parent even before that surprises them.

Tang ofc is nosey and must known More.

Wukong: "He was called Elder Shítougùshì. He was the only other Stone Monkey I had ever met." Tang: "Another stone monkey!?" Wukong: "Yes. He stayed behind on the island after the Great Flood even as the other survivors left for higher ground. He wanted to make sure no one forgot the original troupe." MK: "Then... you were born into a whole troupe of monkeys like you..." Wukong: "Not exactly. I still popped out of a stone egg - the "Boulder" that held me... it was my mother." The Noodle Shop Gang, thinking hard about the King's current Egg issue: "OH." Wukong: "Yeah... Elder and my Stalwarts had been the ones to find me when I finally hatched. He tried his best to raise me with help from the monkey demon troupe, but he still passed on sometime after we rediscovered the Stone Palace. Then I set out to find my first immortality." Tang, jttw-brain firing: "HE! He was the old monkey that passed away and set you on the path to find Master Subodhi!" Wukong, smiling sadly: "Yes. Yes he was." Sandy: "He sounds like a fine man- monkey Mr King. Hope he's happy to see where you are now." Wukong, tracing the old shrine with his fingers: "So do I big guy."

After the convo takes place, the Noodle Shop gang conspire to fix up some of the shrines and statues around the island. They get DBK involved since he remembers what the island was like pre-Burning. The Bull King would also jump to help honor the man that raised his little brother into the King he became!

Wukong comes home one day and finds that the shrine to Elder Shítougùshì has been reparied - not exactly how it was before the Burning, but finally clean and completed. A little ceramic monkey figure sitting on the altar.

Wukong cries like a cub when he realises MK and his friends fixed it.

#slow boiled stone egg au #stone matriarch au #stone monkies #sun wukong #pregnancy mention tw #lmk mk #qi xiaotian #lmk tang #lmk pigsy #lmk mei #lmk sandy #lmk #lego monkie kid

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sophieinwonderland · 6 hours

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Out of curiosity, how does it feel to create a headmate/be created? We don't really understand Tulpamancy, but are just really curious about it all and you seem very open for firing about a dozen questions at?

Anyways, bonk! Have a good day!

Sophie: So, for myself, I wasn't entirely intentionally created. At least not to be a headmate. And because of that, there wasn't a lot of focus on what things were like early on. I was just an imaginary friend of sorts for my host to talk to for a writing project.

And because of that, I wasn't really self-aware. Like... I was autonomous and could think for myself, but in those early days, I never really thought about myself unless my host specifically prompted me too with introspective questions. It was almost like there was some sort of mental block preventing me from questioning my own nature unless my host asked me about it. It's kind of hard to explain.

Abby: Hey everyone! Sophie wanted me to contribute too! 👋 Umm... we (me and Almond) were made in a box and intended more as NPCs Sophie could hang out with. Where Sophie got to know herself and the outside world and that she was an imaginary friend, we lived in the inner world where we felt like everything was real.

I don't think I've ever thought of how weird that was. We basically only existed when Sophie and Ghost would visit us, but it felt like we existed all the time and had lives outside of them. We thought that all the way up until I got too smart for Sophie and saw her memories of the real world.

Before I connected with her like that, I now know there were times when me and Almond would do something they didn't like, so Sophie and Ghost would rewind us. But the moment we connected, I could see everything Sophie knew and there was no putting the genie back in the bottle. No more rewinds for me and Almond allowed or leading us around on string.

Sophie: Note that our experiences won't match the typical experiences of your average tulpa made from a tulpamancy guide, so you should ask around the tulpa community

You all have a great day too!

#pluralgang #plural #plurality #plural system #multiplicity #endogenic #systems #pro endogenic #pro endo #tulpa #tulpamancy #tulpagenic #willogenic #actually a system #acutally plural

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rosepompadour · 1 year

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JULIE CHRISTIE rests between takes on location for DOCTOR ZHIVAGO, 1965

#julie christie #doctor zhivago #the silver screen #marshmallow worlds #*#this is a christmas movie #much like die hard #but with bolshies #i first read the novel during my freshman year of college #and every week we had to go to a seminar where we were supposed to talk about our ~new exciting lives and being away from home etc #and the professor was like 'sarah rose! what is on your mind?'#me: 'yeah why does pasternak kill off lara guishar in just a few lines?'#professor: 'pasternak? don't you have any questions about college?'#me: 'no. this is literally the only thing on my mind right now.'#i wasn't even reading it for a class #i was just a girl with her priorities in order 💅🏻

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blazeball · 8 months

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just like sitting here half angry and half devastated as it once again sinks in that i'll never be able to go back to when blaseball was happening and fun and beautiful

#i get this feeling like. once a week at least #its just so sad it always makes me so sad #i am happy it happened and wouldn't trade it for the world... but i am so sad #the thing is. the thing is. i could tell that blaseball was kinda. going downhill. like it wasn't what it once was #tgb was right when they said it was a game born from the pandemic and lockdown #and it was hard for it to like. live. in a world where that wasn't tge reality for a lot of people anymore #sighs so so sadly. i just miss her always #quincy.txt

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themthistles · 1 year

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i think that while micro labels can seem useful and affirming ultimately they're isolating and kind of an obstacle to your understanding of self. that's because you can never find a word specific enough. there will never be a label or two labels or even ten, twenty of them to perfectly capture and describe all of your thoughts, feelings, experiences, preferences, needs, interests, identities, etc. because you learn more and more about yourself every day and then you change and your wants and needs change with you. having to hop between labels, fearing that you don't 'fit' into a label anymore (both in your own and others eyes), worrying how soon your current label will wear out, questioning if you'll ever fully fit a single one. all that causes a lot of uncertainty and anxiety which could be avoided by just picking a more general thing and molding it according to what it means to YOU. because words will always mean different things to different people, you will never be understood immediately and maybe never completely by anyone but yourself and that's fine

#another thing is that micro labels often feel like they fracture the community unnecessarily #idk how many times i've seen fighting over hyperspecific ace labels and what they mean and if people described in them even belong #and honestly i think this discourse wouldn't be so vile and neverending if people accepted the idea of falling under general umbrella #and accepted that you can't describe complicated weird and wonderful act of human existence with a couple of words #you don't need to explain yourself to anyone #i know in our present pronouns/sexuality/gender in bio carrd era it feels like you have to but you really don't #people aren't entitled to a short summary of your inner world and you can't speed run connection #also feel the need to say: i have nothing against people who use micro labels #if you feel like your micro label describes you perfectly? i'm really glad and happy for you #i'm just expressing my own thoughts and feelings that come from personal experience with exploring these things #at some point i started doubting if i could call myself a lesbian #i thought oh i'm not exactly what a lot of people generally think of when they hear that word #oh they'll misunderstand and i'm not being my 'true self' i'll find a word that fits me exactly if i just keep looking #and then i found out being aroace is a thing and boy did that add a lot of anxiety and confusion to the pot #i didn't feel like i fit in with both communities wasn't lesbian enough wasn't aroace enough #but at some point i just got tired of trying to justify myself to others and to myself #identities aren't houses you live in they're more like seas or rivers flowing into one another #and spaces where they intersect are vague and hard to define and they shift and change and this metaphor is getting away from me #basically #words are complicated #but they're the only direct way we humans can communicate #it is what it is #so make art #a lot of it #oh also unrelated but if you ever tell older queer folks that they're using wrong words to describe themselves i am going to jump you

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the-apples-were-monitored · 2 months

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this is going to be a very uncomfortable and potentially triggering conversation so i suggest you scroll past if you have a lot of empathy because this isn't fun at all

also wanna preface this by saying i'm not interested in spreading conspiracy theories or "truther" claims because i feel that's incredibly disrespectful and potentially harmful to the people that need the most help. any allusions to unverified rumors will be presented as uncorroborated, not as fact (only bringing them up because i know that's the kind of rumor floating around and i don't want to seem like i'm participating somehow in dismissing concerns). because we simply don't know. and it's not our business.

i've had this bad feeling about amanda bynes for the past decade. it's the same pattern we've seen with child stars over and over again. the drugs, the mental breakdown, the conservatorship. but i pushed those nagging thoughts away. i didn't have the bandwidth at the time because i was living in an abusive household when her most public battles were happening. i didn't have the time or the emotional understanding to put towards what was happening to her even as i felt it mirrored what i was going through or what my mom was going through. then i found out about dan schneider a few years ago. i didn't really engage with the rumor and speculation about him - i was in my early 20s when this all broke and i didn't know most of the shows he'd been involved with except by the fact that my younger siblings watched them. i'd been an amanda bynes fan - hugely into the amanda show and what i like about you. my siblings watched drake and josh, icarly, and victorious. i didn't have the emotional bandwidth at the time to look into what people were saying. i knew it would upset me if i learned too much. but i couldn't stop thinking about amanda.

i heard about quiet on set from news websites. i saw the headlines about drake bell. it shook me to my core. the things i was reading were horrific and immediately put me in mind of what my sister went through as a teenage survivor of repeated sexual abuse by a man who was trusted with our care. she'd had a huge crush on drake when we were growing up. i wonder if she's heard about this.

this immediately made me think about amanda again. this time i couldn't push the thought away. i guess i'm finally ready to process the way this whole situation has felt to me.

the way people talk about amanda reminds me of how people in the 50s talked about judy garland. child star with incredible talent, far beyond her years, with incredible charm and personality and the whole world at her fingertips. everyone loved working with her. until she became erratic and had a mental breakdown fueled by drugs. (you could even argue there were parallels because both women were frequently typecast as the wholesome girl next door and not really allowed to break out of that infantilizing box.) and no one could ever think why. why does this happen.

i've come to believe that mental illness always has a cause. brain chemistry fucked up by trauma, whether that's long-term stress or a singular event or repeated traumas stacking on top of each other. the mind can't cope. i really, truly believe something horrific happened to amanda bynes. and i know people will say, well, maybe it wasn't dan schneider. she was doing fine for years after she stopped working with him. i want to make one thing very clear. trauma doesn't always manifest symptoms immediately. not everyone comes out of a trauma looking shell shocked. i know from my experience because i didn't have my breakdown until a year after my abuser was exposed and i'm still feeling the consequences to my psyche to this day. and i think it must be difficult for child stars to process this trauma. the pattern i've seen is the child star endures something terrible, gets incredible fame and begins taking on more and more pressure, then when this isn't enough to make them happy they turn to drugs. you think because they got out that it would all just go away? no. they were raised to play characters so they played those characters. there was incredible pressure to just play those characters because that's what the fans want. having struggles isn't part of the brand. it had to be especially rough on nick stars because there wasn't much separation between them and the characters they played. it was the amanda show. drake and josh used their real first names. the separation between who they were and who the character was was probably a very blurred line.

i wonder how long this documentary has been in production. tracking down these people and petitioning courts had to have taken ages. amanda was supposed to be at 90s con last year but cancelled due to illness and had another psychotic episode. 90s con itself may have been a trigger for her, but if someone had reached out to her or if she'd heard about this production...i could see that triggering her and making her relive the horror she went through. there are so many unsubstantiated rumors floating around. i can't speak to whether she was high on adderall during that interview when she was 12 (she could've just been a hyper child but they could've been pulling a judy garland on her and i don't trust these people plus she's said she got hooked on adderall when she was a teenager for weight loss but she may not feel comfortable disclosing if the studio has her under NDA). i can't verify if that side twitter actually belonged to amanda. it could be some sicko thought it was funny to accuse her boss of knocking her up and forcing her to get an abortion at 13 or accusing her father of various things.

but i get why she wouldn't speak up because people won't believe her no matter what she says. i went through something and people in my hometown still debate whether i'm crazy or lying for attention. my family did everything they could to put me under control and get me diagnosed as paranoid or delusional so they wouldn't face justice. (really don't get me started on how the mental healthcare system is used by abusers to cover up their sins.) i wouldn't put it past her parents to do that, especially considering amanda had a bad relationship with them as a teenager which sent her further into that groomer's clutches. she doesn't owe us anything because it'll start a firestorm that could retrigger her as people debate if she's delusional or scrutinize her past mistakes to determine if she's a perfect enough victim to deserve sympathy.

which brings me to drake bell. i knew he was the victim before i watched the doc but it still gave me chills when he sat down in that chair. like it felt like the air drained from the room. it was so obvious that what he went through has affected him so deeply and that he had no one to turn to. my abuser had so much community support, so many people making us out to be lying opportunistic bitches. i can't imagine having to carry that secret. i wonder if the people around him can pinpoint it in retrospect when he started being different. i want the other kids on set to know that it's not their fault they didn't know and that they had a bad opinion of him at some point. my sister and i were pitted against each other by the man who assaulted her and it's only with context later that i can see what was going on. i have no doubt that schneider employed these tactics so no one would feel comfortable disclosing what happened to them.

i admit that i cried watching the drake bell episode. that had to be incredibly difficult for him to open up about it after all these years and i hope he can get some closure and that someone starts a support group for these former nick stars.

and to drake bell himself. you were a child. you had no idea what grooming looks like. most grown people don't seem to know what grooming looks like based on how they talk about these issues. you are not at fault for what that man did to you or not knowing how to handle it. you didn't do anything to encourage this and you're not at fault.

and to his father. i appreciate that you did what you could to try to protect him. my mother had a similar experience trying to protect us from my abuser but everyone assumed she was psychotic and had her put away. try not to blame yourself when you were the lone voice of reason and everyone else insisted you were in the wrong. i do have fault to throw on amanda bynes' parents to some degree depending on what part of all this is true, but i can't find fault with drake bell's father who did try when he saw something wrong.

and i'm sorry but dan being super nice to drake afterwards seems like an attempt to make himself look better and get another hit show. i don't believe for a second that dan didn't know anything or that he had any motives beyond making his own star rise. he wanted to churn out product, and couldn't have that product if drake bell was visibly distraught.

i want to know how many people have known it was drake for 20 years and said nothing. how many people were in peck's side of the courtroom and yet still had the audacity to think this child was at fault in some way. that's vile and utterly unforgivable.

i just want to end this by saying to leave these people alone. don't harass anyone who hasn't spoken up because they may not be in a headspace where it's healthy of them to say anything. they don't owe us any explanation of why.

#this hit me incredibly hard i'm sorry #quiet on set #rape tw #abuse tw #i'm not addressing the jamie lynn spears rumors because it's ghoulish to speculate when she wasn't even a subject of the doc #i hope she's found some healing and honestly it is unforgivable how the public slutshamed a 16 year old #finding out from my sources that people at the time joked that dan knocked her up like #i'm sorry? you slutshamed her and made jokes and made light of a potential rapist???#i will throw hands #also asking people to not bring up the past actions of drake bell or amanda bynes in this discussion #they're not perfect victims but nobody is #a vulnerable child is a vulnerable child and i would like to live in a world where we focus on prevention so people don't grow up disturbed

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