#and it hurt. it hurt and people (close coworkers obviously but fans as well to an extent) should have the right to feel hurt or betrayed

[youmarin]

"The Smile Has Left Your Eyes" rant.

*Spoilers below*

Gotta get it off my chest. Mostly bc I hurt for Kim Moo Young .

I read the series summary and I was like, "Mmm okaaay there's gonna be trauma here." To be honest I didn't think grandly of him during the first episodes. Actually I didn't know what to think of Kim Moo Young. A very goodlooking mf who's a loner. He grew in an orphanage after the incident and well he seemed to care for the nuns there but that was it. He didn't let anyone close or felt anything for anyone (the closest thing before things developed was that coworker of his but even they didn't appear too close to be called friends? idk).

Until he overheard that conversation between Seung Ah and Jang Woo Sang, he didn't seem to do stuff that would make him go out of his way. He seemed to be looking to entertain himself even at the cost of other people's well being. That was because he normally was numb minded. He didn't understand people's behaviour, like for example, why people "had" to do things they didn't really want to do. So when he taunted Seung Ah (even though it must've been uncomfortable. I felt like that watching it), I thought, "He's being quite an asshole, but maybe that's his way to try and help her step up for herself?". Think about it, things are never as easy as just saying it. She thought she couldn't get herself out of that situation but Moo Young didn't see things like that. He saw things differently. And so he was like, "If you don't wanna do it then don't." Simple as that.

Seung Ah fell for Moo Young because of that. And I don't think she really loved him either. She was clinging to him to escape her own life, one that was mostly decided for her and that she didn't want. (Plus they've "known" each other for like 2 months. C'mon.)

Still at this point, Moo Youngs motivations regarding Seung Ah were obviously messed up. "I wanted to know what drives a rich girl.", the whole bunch of lies, working up people for the fun of it. I wasn't a fan. He really gave an uneasy feeling (and with that face too. I was like, "Damn he's so fine but something's really wrong with him. Can't say I like him but I don't unlike him" lmao). And all that game got two people killed (which of course he didn't plan on it to end like that, and it was her fiancé, speeding and being drunk off his ass that didn't even bother to press the breaks before they crashed. ). But feeling nothing over it? Something's up up there in his head.

Same with Lim Yu Ri. He keeps her from ending her life and she catches feelings (he collects broken girls and broken girls love him 💀). He learns she's on a tough spot with another girl who's extorting her. And he intervenes again and helps someone who's also clearly not in her right mind to commit murder. Moo Young stands and watches. And then goes and cleans it up. ( 🚩❗)

Seung-Ah's and Jeong Mi Yeon's death were not his doing. Directly. But he did stuff that lead to that end. And still, no remorse, no guilt. Nothing. Again, technically he didn't do it so why would he feel those? But well, any other person would, wouldn’t they?

It's understandable and logical for Jin Gook to be a worried brother and not want Jin Kang near him. Oh but wait! Jin Gook might know the guy! From way back when he was a little boy! He's aware of the great possibility that Moo Young might be actually the son of a criminal he accidentally shot to death more than twenty years ago. And that Jin Kang and Moo Young's pasts are linked. But Jin Gook is scared for Jin Kang and more scared for himself to face the past and burst the bubble he's been trying to keep for so long (though it's still eating him alive).

Unfortunately for him, Jin Kang falls in love with Moo Young and for her, Moo Young decides to try an be a good person and stop acting as he had been until then. With her help.

"Promise me you'll be a good person." "Then teach me."

And he starts getting curious again about the past he'd forgotten about thanks to (funny, huh) the car crash he was in with Seung Ah and Jang Woo Sang. And what does Jin Gook decides to do? Stab. the. guy. A police officer. Oh and after calling Moo Young a murderer, a devil and everything he could come up with. Talking big when he had also killed someone (be it an accident, that the person was a murderer and that he might've ended up sentenced with death anyway, it doesn't take away that he killed someone).

And then everyone at the station being normal about it?? "Oh there was no report." Nobody investigated shit. Tak So Jung saw the footage and still did shit about it. But that also lead to Moo Young seeking the doctor (the doctor who let go an amnesic 7 year old boy from a hospital alone to who knows where with nobody to take care of him. Just relying on chance, "Maybe it'll be better". Like some sort of study subject.).

More questions were brought to Moo Young. The only thing the doctor could tell him was that his father fell to his death. But he knew that wasn't it because every time that the memory came he saw and heard a gun fired. So he goes to where they say his father died, finds his house (that scene when he's inside the house and the memories come back full force that he falls to the ground. Ok, kill me now that was so intense.) And he finds out that his girlfriend's brother is his father's killer. Now, how can he tell her that?

He goes back, he's angry, he has to know the rest. He breaks into Jin Gook and Jin Kang's house. Finds an old missing child poster with his picture in it. Then he reaches out for help with Jang Woo Sang's older sister (from the people he got tangled with in the beginning and that Jin Kang had stopped him from getting involved with again. And Jin Kang had told him that those people were capable of anything. Honestly didn't get that woman's deal. She was really a bitch who loved nobody and loved toying with people. Girl, get a life won't you. Mind your business.) He asks for a gun and breaks in again into their house. When Jin Gook arrives he sees Moo Young's shoes in the entryway. And he admits that he shot his father. Moo Young asks why and tells him he ruined his childhood and family. But was he really going to shoot him? I don't know. I really want to believe he wouldn’t shoot him. Because Jin Gook is important to Jin Kang. And I know he said a couple of times "You're just you to me." Which basically I translate to "The hell with your brother." (plus he stabbed him. I have resentment over that lol. Like, what was the reason?).

But I'm glad we didn't see that happen (for Moo Young. The grudge again 💀). Later he finds out that the story he had made around his drawing, the sole clue he was left with for a long time was actually not true. His dad, who he thought had in a moment searched for him, was not a police officer (that was Jin Gook, in fact), it was a murderer. A murderer who killed his mom and two others (when I heard about the other two people that's when I realized, "Ok those are Jin Kang's parents" and the idea that popped into my head when Tak So Jung told Jin Gook "If that's the boy you were searching they can't be together.", that Jin Kang and Moo Young were siblings, was wrong. But they scared me for a sec. with that. I was like, "Hell nah I love SIG but what's up with his dramas always having smthn (the age gaps in Café Minamdang and High School King of Savvy? Mostly the Minamdang one. Don't get me wrong I still loved the shows but there was that fact that eek! Aand now incest? Pls no. And thank GOD it wasn't. Phew 😬😅😂)

Continuing, Moo Young feels disgusted (for someone who barely felt anything now he feels this great love for Jin Kang and is so troubled with all the things he's found out, and the things still left for him to know) and that it now makes sense his way of being. The Dr. tells him his past and his father's doing have nothing to do with him and that he's an example of that.

"You're just you."

The "I love you" text. She knew he was in pain.

"Are you really ok with who I am?" "I want to be born again." 🥺💔

"To be born again you have to live in a warm house. A warm house smells like warm rice."

And when she got burnt and he was so worried and it brought another piece of the puzzle of his memory. He and Jin Kang had been together all along.

(Also that scene of them comparing their scars? I was not okay.💔) "They look like a map. And we followed that map to get here."

But he got it wrong and believed they were siblings (also bc of that lying bitch of Jang Woo Sang's sister. Honestly I didn't think he'd believe her. He always was so "Don't trust people, people are nothing." So clever, used to lie and play around like that that I thought he'll ask for proof or something. But that was how he remembered it and well the bitch hadn't lied to him until that point so oh well) and couldn't tell Jin Kang because he loved her. But not the way a brother loves a sister. And how could he tell her that yes, your dad is the same as mine, a murderer who killed our mom and two more people. And even when he found out that thankfully they were not siblings he still didn't want Jin Gook to tell her anything because still the truth wasn't much better. His father killed her parents.

And then Kim Moo Young commited murder trying to protect Jin Kang when he didn't have to.

"I killed someone when I felt human the most."

Jin Kang unable to believe it and breaking down saying he couldn’t have done it, that he couldn’t even stand seeing a bird or a fish hurt. Because she knew him better than anyone. He truly was sensitive.

How Moo Young hugged Jin Gook (See that? No need for hurting him more, man.) Left him a note. Signed with his real name. 💔

"When I met Jin Kang I was able to breathe again." 😭

And when she pointed a gun to her forehead his façade vanished.

"Go back."

"To where? You've been there from the start."

The fucking ending. She made him admit that he wanted to live right before that mf came in and shot her first, that being the last thing he saw, breaking his heart one last time before he was shot and died too.

How she didn't get to say "I love you" back. He only got to say it while he was dying and she just texted it to him. And it was probably the first time he remembered ever saying it to someone. Like when Jin Kang asked him if he had ever really liked someone and he said, "you."

How in the beginning he was the one who looked over and treasured Jing Kang but no one looked over him for so long until she came around again years later without remembering him and finally showed him love.

(And how it was her voice now that woke him up from the nightmare/memory.)

I hated that they always kept Jin Kang in the dark. Like, tell her something pls. Enlighten the woman too. She died and never got to know the mess that made Moo Young break up with her. She missed so much. Trying to protect her that much ended bad.

How different would've been things maybe if Moo Young also had had someone like Jin Kang did. (?)

If Jin Gook had told them everything!!! Instead of being so against them. Moo Young made mistakes but he then tried (and it really showed in his eyes how he instantly regretted it when Jin Gook treated him like that. Because he wasn't doing it for him, he was doing it for Jin Kang.). And Jin Gook was always like, "You can start afresh" (even though he always carried his grief and regret but still, he tried to believe that but apparently that didn't apply to Moo Young or wtf).

Loved, loved, loved the scene when they first slept together, how full of love and how they couldn't help their laughter because of how happy they were at that momemt. All the times she squished his face. So cute hahah. And when he carried her inside his house. How she helped him make his house a home. He didn't even have a single glass because, what was the need for those things? He's the only one who's ever there.

And that scene when he's looking at the night sky and cries and Jin Kang appears there. "How didn't I know? There are so many beautiful things in the world." And then the shot shows him lying there alone. I don't have a heart anymore, this show stepped on it and shattered it. 💔 It was so sad but such a beautiful scene.

When she told her smthn like, I hope you always have things like plants to water and food you have to eat before it spoils and that those stuff cling to you and all that. For him to keep living and enjoying the simple things. Things that in the end they didn't have the chance to live for. 🥺🥲

Other stuff that ended me:

"You planted love in her heart". "I don't believe it but I hope it's true."

"You protected her with your tiny body." "Now I feel proud of my big, ugly scar." (And this got me thinking how he protected her back then and then she did the same and took the bullet for him. But in the end both got burned and both were shot 💔💔💔)

And the songs "Lost", "Star". Loved them. And "Hidden Memory" (again, that whole scene).

Anyways, great name. I have puffy eyes thanks to this drama. The smile left me eyes.

I'll edit this if something else comes up in my head later but I had to write all these so I can process what I just finished watching yesterday evening.

#the smile has left your eyes #tshlye #kim moo young #yoo jin kang #seo in guk #jung so min #park sung woong #yoo jin gook #hundred million stars from the sky #kang sun ho #han jung yoon #kdrama

[caramellody]

A LOT of us (myself included) have fallen down the pit of parasocial relationships. yes, its nice to like a creator or celebrity but please please please monitor yourselves.

#self monitoring has done wonders for me #and like. its not fool proof either. but it still is a great help #i have. a lottle bit too much experience sonce literally yt/lp channels were like. my main fandoms since i was at least 11 or 12 #nowadays i still follow many of these channels but i always make sure to check myself #parasocial relationships. at least for me have always been subtle for me #and thats not to say people shouldnt be feeling things. bc thats okay too #the rh stuff comes to mind mostly as someone who followed his stuff for YEARS #and it hurt. it hurt and people (close coworkers obviously but fans as well to an extent) should have the right to feel hurt or betrayed #the PROBLEM comes when you decide to implement black and white Morality to it and be like one man failed me all men are gonna fail me #or on the other end: try to delude yourself into thinking that the controversies or issues arent real and devaluing ACTUAL serious events #thats when the fan side of the parasocial relationship is at its worst #sorry for rambling its just something ive always noted for years now. #val rambles

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

#omg #I don't even know if this makes sense #this took way too long to write #j2 #cockles #long post #spn family #so glad you see you back again my dear #welcome to hell #it's hotter now

[navalcriminalimagines]

Pairings: Rafael Barba x Reader, Sonny Carisi x Reader

Warnings: none?

Words: 4,511

Prompt: Rafael spent years keeping his feelings for you hiding.

Missed shot

When Rafael Barba started to work with Manhattan’s SVU, you’d been a detective there for almost two years. You joined the squad shortly before Stabler left. You saw Nick Amaro and Amanda Rollins joining in too. At first, Cragen partnered you with Amanda, and Olivia with Nick, but considering it wasn’t working between Liv and Nick, changes were made, and Nick became your partner.

You two quickly became close, like a brother-sister relationship. He told you about his issues with Maria, you were the first (and only one) to know when him and Amanda became a thing. So, obviously, you told him your secret.

“This is Tomas,” you told Nick, as you were showing him a picture of an 8-year-old boy. “My son,” you added. “Don’t bother counting, I did give birth to him when I was 17.”

“He’s cute. Looks a lot like you,” Nick smiled at you. “Nobody in the squad know?” he asked.

“Cragen does. But he’s our Captain and it’s in my file. But the rest, nope,”

“Why not?”

You told him more about your debut in the police. At first, you did hide the fact that you were a mom. But you quickly realized that your coworkers and others were judging you. People took you as immature, non-serious, and some guy actually pictured you as an easy girl. You hated every second of your debut. So, when you joined the bomb squad, you decided to make your son a secret. It’s much better this way.

Olivia learned about your son when she took Cragen’s place. A part of her was surprised, but another wasn’t. She saw you with kids, you do have that mother instinct. And of course, she promised that nobody would know about Tom.

Working with the SVU squad wasn’t an evidence for Rafael Barba. Nick gave him hard time for no apparent reasons, Amanda wasn’t a fan of him. Fin didn’t care much. But luckily, Olivia welcomed him nicely and then there was you. You were sweet to him, kind. You asked him if you whether call him “Rafael” or “Barba” – “Your choice,” he answered. You ask him how he’s doing every time you see him. You usually bring him a coffee when you stopped by his office.

You’re nice, gorgeous, young, smart, badass… it didn’t take long for Rafael to get interested in you. More than just as coworker. But this couldn’t be happening, so he started to stay away from you as much as possible. At first, it was easy since Rafael only sees you as a detective. He doesn’t know anything about you outside of the office, only that you have Swedish origins from your father. He doesn’t want to know more. He doesn’t need to.

But despite himself, he overheard conversations between you and Nick every now and then. When the name “Tom” came back multiple times, Rafael assumed you had a boyfriend. Good. This should make things easier.

For two years working together, you and Rafael had a normal work relationship. He kept his crush under-wrap, seeing people every now and then, when the thought of you was too much. Sometimes it was one-night stands, sometimes a bit more. But he never kept seeing the same person for more than two months. That’s when people want to make things more permanent. Rafael doesn’t want that.

Keeping you at arm’s length was perfect for him. He couldn’t let you in. He wasn’t open for a serious relationship, and he felt like you could turn his world upside down if he let you in.

He almost did when Nick got shot. You were very worried for your partner, Rafael almost hugged you when you started to cry in front of him. But Liv called at the same point, so he didn’t. And then Nick left SVU, and New York. His departure hurt you a lot, for a moment, Rafael thought you two had some kind of an intimate relationship. But he remembered a conversation you two had.

“Hey Barba, we’re going out for drinks. Wanna join?” you casually asked.

“What’s the occasion?”

“Okay, first, do you need an occasion to go out for drinks? And second, it’s just that Nick needs to get his mind off the breakup,”

“So, it’s definitely over between him and his wife?”

“Yeah, she’s moving to DC with Zara. He’s not doing great,”

“But he can always count on his other partner,” Rafael said, without thinking.

You chuckled, “What does that mean?”

“You two are—close,” Hopefully, it didn’t sound like jealousy. Which it actually was.

“Amanda is the one he slept with, not me. I’d rather sleep with you,” you left right after.

This was months ago, but Rafael still couldn’t believe you said that. He tried not to overthink about it, but he couldn’t. Was this just a joke? Were you just trying to prove a point? Or did you see him as more than just a coworker? He considered trying to explore this, but before he found the courage to do something about it, Sonny Carisi joined the squad and became your partner.

You missed Nick a lot, but you welcomed Sonny with open arms, unlike the others at first. He will forever be thankful about that. It didn’t take long for Rafael to see that you had a bond with Sonny, just like the bond you had with Nick. Maybe more. Liv told him a few times that being partners when you’re a cop is very special. He understands that, but it doesn’t he likes it when it comes to you.

Few months after Sonny join in, Rafael heard the name Tom again. You must have to Sonny about your boyfriend. Since he didn’t hear that name for months, he assumed that you two had broken up. But apparently not. Meaning that there’s nothing romantic with Carisi, but you still have a boyfriend. So, Rafael tried to forget what you told him and kept trying to convince himself that what he’s feeling for you isn’t love.

More months went by. It was obvious for Rafael that Carisi had a thing for you. He didn’t like it, but there’s nothing he can do. But he kept turning down all of your offers when the squad met up for drinks. He didn’t need that. He didn’t want to know the you outside work.

One day, he showed up to the precinct. No one was nowhere to be find. He spotted a gift wrapped on your desk. Curious, he took a closer look. There was a card. He looked around, still no one. So, he tried to take a look at the card.

“That’s very noisy of you, counselor,” he heard for behind. You. He jumped from the surprise, let go of the card.

“A box on a detective’s desk. Had to be sure it wasn’t a bomb,” he said, trying to keep a straight face. You laughed at his excuse.

“Would love to see your reaction if you saw a bomb,” you said, with a smile on your face. Apparently, you aren’t mad, so that’s good.

“I’d rather not,” he shyly smiled at you. “What would your reaction be?”

“Considering that I’ve been there before, I would keep my calm and do my best to defuse it,” you said before walking to the coffee area. Rafael analyzed your words for a moment before joining you.

“Come again?”

“Spent two years with the bomb squad before joining SVU,” you casually said, handing him the cup of coffee you just poured.

In four years, this was the first personal information you gave him. He almost couldn’t believe it.

“I—I didn’t know,”

“Well, yeah. We never talked about anything else than our cases,”

“True,” he took a sip. “And why would that be? In your opinion,”

“Because you don’t like me,”

You had poured another cup for yourself and walked up straight to your desk after those words. You sat, grabbed the gift to put it aside and started to look at something on your computer. Rafael was stunned for a moment but joined you again. He closed your laptop, and leaned against your desk, right next to you. He had never been this physically close to you before.

“Why in the world would you think that?” He asked.

“We’ve been working together for four years, Barba. Not once, did you show some kind of interest in me. You’re best friends with Liv, you tolerate Amanda, you’re courteous with Fin. Hell, you gave hard time to Sonny for the first year but now you agreed for him to shadow you. But me? I feel like you wish I wasn’t here,”

Rafael stayed silent for a moment, analyzing your words. Indeed, he tried to keep his distance with you, but he never thought it made you feel that way. He felt very bad about himself.

“But hey, no problem, okay? We’ve been able to make it work that way for years, there’s no reasons we can’t keep going,”

“You’re very wrong—about everything, Y/N.”

“Then what is it?” You locked your sweet blue eyes into his. For a moment, he was afraid you may see all the love he has for you in his eyes. What reasonable excuse could he tell you? His mind raced. But thankfully, the rest of the squad came back at that moment.

“Barba, Y/N. Are you interrupting?” Rollins smiled.

“Nope,” Rafael stood up right and followed Liv into her office. You watched him leave. No answer. Again.

The gift was actually from Sonny, but it wasn’t for you. It’s for Tomas, who’s now 13 years old. The father left when you told him you were pregnant (he was a bit older) and never saw him again. You raised Tom by yourself, with the full support of your parents, luckily. Your son showed up his interest in makeup and esthetic about a year ago. You completely support him in his passion, brought him whatever he needed/wanted.

Sonny went shopping with his 16 years old niece Mia during the weekend and she wanted to go to the Sephora. He asked her what he could offer to Tomas.

“Uncle Sonny. Are you trying to seduce the mother by being so nice to the son?” Mia asked with a smirk on her face.

“Okay, first, I wouldn’t need to do that. And second, it’s just that—it’s not easy to be different. I just want him to know that he can count on me,”

“Like you wished you could count on someone when you realized you were bisexual?”

Sonny looked at his niece with wide eyes. He still isn’t out to his family. How could she know? “Last year, I figured that this Sam you talked about wasn’t a she but a he. And--I’m bi, too, Uncle Sonny.”

That’s a lot to process in two minutes, while he is standing in the middle of a makeup store.

“There’s nothing wrong with that…right?” Mia added.

“Oh, of course not, sweetheart!” He immediately answered. “When did you know?”

“I was sure when I fell in love with a girl, a few months ago,” she confessed.

Sonny hugged his niece and kissed her hair. “What’s her name? I’d love to meet her,”

“Joy. And that would be nice. I’m so happy I finally told you,”

“I’ll never judge you. And I’ll always be there for you,”

In the squad, you were the only one Sonny came out to. Which makes the two of you even closer.

After the gift “incident”, you and Rafael didn’t talk again for weeks. To be fair, he was trying to avoid you. He almost confessed his feelings for you and that can’t be happening. After this, Rafael decided to call back a woman he used to see. She’s beautiful, smart, nice and wants the same things he does. Exactly what he needs.

He never wanted to talk about his personal life at work, but one day, you showed up in his office. Rafael was on the phone, his back to the door. He didn’t hear you come in, so he kept making plans with Judith. You listened, and felt your chest tightened.

Before he hung up, Rafael heard the door of his office closing. He turned around; nobody was there but he saw you walking out through the blinds. You had heard and walked away.

When Rafael told you, you were wrong about your assumptions, you thought that maybe he was feeling the same way you did. Turns out, you were wrong.

It was Tom’s 14th birthday. You helped him planned an afternoon party. He told you he invited about 10 friends.

But no one showed up. Your son didn’t feel ashamed about his passion - thanks to you and Sonny, mostly - but apparently, his “friends” didn’t like it.

“Baby, why didn’t you tell me they were bullying you? On Monday I’ll go see your principal,”

“Exactly for this. If you do this, it’s gonna be worse. Maybe I should stop,”

“Stop what? Doing something you like? Not under my watch, T. Those kids are just the reflections of their close-minded parents,”

“Yeah, but at least people show up to their birthday parties,”

It broke your heart to see your son like this. You needed to fix this. You need to see your son happy. All day, every day. You went to the bathroom and called Sonny.

“Sonny, I need you,” you said when he answered. “Short things first, those stupid kids didn’t show up to T’s party. There’s no one here. Can you come? With Mia? And Joy? I’m gonna call Liv, see if she can come with Noah,”

“I’m with Mike right now so he’ll be with me. Call Fin too, we’ll stop by Amanda’s to pick her and Jesse,”

“Okay, that’s great, thanks Sonny,”

“Of course. Tom will remember his 14th birthday I promise. Why don’t you call Barba too?”

“Why in the world would I do that?”

“It would be rude not to. Don’t you think?”

“I guess. I’ll see. Can you be there in about an hour?”

You call Liv and she agreed, same for Fin. But Sonny was right, you had to call Rafael.

“Barba,” he answered.

“Hey, it’s Y/N. Sorry to bother you on Saturday afternoon. Um—if you aren’t busy, what do you think about stopping by my son’s birthday? It’s kinda unfair, but stupid kids didn’t show up. I call everyone, they’re all coming. But hey, don’t feel obligated. You don’t have to if you don’t—“

“Okay,” he answered before you could finish your monologue.

“Okay?” You repeated.

“Yeah. When should I be there? And how old is he?”

“I said an hour to everyone. And if you’re asking his age to buy him a gift, don’t bother. Right now, all he needs is people to be there to celebrate,”

“Y/N, don’t make me argue please. How old is your son?”

“14.”

“Okay, thanks. See you in an hour then. Text me the address, please,”

“See you, Rafael,”

Rafael tried to stay calm and natural in front of Judith, but there were some many things in his head right now. Since he went to the bedroom to answer your call, he lied to the woman he was with, pretending a work emergency to leave.

You have a kid. A teenage kid, actually. A quick count made him realized you gave birth when you were 17. Many things made sense now. He needs confirmation but it seems clear that, this Tom he heard about, is actually your son, and not your boyfriend like he assumed.

How could he not know about this? You’ve been working together for almost five years now. He really kept his distance with you. But somehow, he still fell hard for you.

“Hey Liv, I got a call from Y/N. I’d like to buy a little something for her son, do you have any idea?”

“Well, do you know anything about makeup?”

“I beg your pardon?”

Liv laughed. “Where are you? I can pick you up and we stop by a store to buy him something,”

“Okay, I trust you on that.”

An hour later, everybody was there. You welcomed them as they arrived. “If he doesn’t like it, that’s on Liv,” Rafael joked as he handed you the gift he had for your son.

“Nope. That’s on that sells woman that was clearly hitting on you,” Liv interjected.

“She wasn’t— okay, she was. But not my type,”

“Yeah, and Judith probably wouldn’t like it,”

“I don’t know about that. And she doesn’t need to know anyway,” he smiled.

Tom’s mood improved when he saw Mia and Joy. You and Sonny introduced them months ago and Tomas is crazy about them.

“What happened to your face?” Mia asked and Tom frowned. “No makeup, seriously T?” She added, before taking him by the hand.

“Wait—“ you stopped them before they reached the bedroom. “Tomas, meet Mike and Rafael, first. They are the only ones you haven’t met yet,”

It made sense that Tom hadn’t met Mike yet, since he joined SVU a couple of months ago. But yeah, it stings to Rafael. Five years. And he didn’t know.

“You look like a cop,” he said Mike, “but you don’t,” he then said to Rafael.

“Cause I’m not. I’m an ADA, Assistant Dis—“

“I know what it is,” he cut him. “Thank you for coming,”

“Can we do his makeup now?” Mia called out and the three of them — adding Jesse who wanted to go too — disappeared in the bedroom for a moment.

“Thanks, guys, for showing up this quick. It’s a mess,” you sadly said. “T told me that he’s being bullied at school because he loves makeup, lets his hair grow. Apparently, they are calling him a sissy,” your jaw clenched. Rafael saw the mama bear in you. “He doesn’t want me to interfere. But maybe I should anyway,”

“You’re here for him. We all are, that’s what he needs,” Sonny said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders to bring you comfort. Rafael tried to avoid the jealousy in his belly.

Opening gifts arrived fast. Everyone brought him something, mostly makeup stuff. Sonny actually got him an appointment in a famous hair salon in Manhattan. Now that his hair is long enough, Tom mentioned wanting to get a real haircut. Mike listened to Sonny’s advices for his gift.

“This is from Nick,” Liv said as she gave Tom a gift. “He wants you to call later,”

“Mom!! That’s two tickets for California!” Tomas exclaimed before reading the note. “And he’s offering me surfing lessons! When are we going? Before—“

“Soon, my love.” You said before he could finish his sentence.

Then came Rafael’s gift. “You can return it if you don’t like,” he said. But Tom’s face lit up when he saw what it was.

“Mom!!!” He showed you the gift, with a huge grin on his face.

“Wow! You finally got it,” you returned his smile and moved a little to stand by Rafael’s side.

“Thank you so much, Rafael!” Tom stood up and hugged the ADA. Some affection Rafael didn’t expect.

“He’s been bugging me for this palette for weeks. I told him to wait because it’s damn expensive,” you whispered to Rafael.

“It’s okay. I’m glad he likes it,” he just answered.

Tomas was thrilled with all of his gifts. It feels good that with those people, he doesn’t have to hide himself, who he is and what he loves. Later, you noticed that Rafael setback from the others. You stood next to him.

“You’re not mad about the gift, are you?” He asked, before you could say anything.

“A little, to be honest,”

“I can pay for that,”

“I know. I see your clothes every day. But that’s not the point,”

“Then what is the point?”

“For the first five years of his life, I couldn’t buy him things. All the toys he had were gifts from my parents— when I made better money, I spoiled him. For years. And now, he’s a very smart teenage boy but he doesn’t necessarily have the value of money. Which I’m trying to teach him. And you showed up with this hella expensive palette, Nick got him plane tickets and surfing lessons. Even the appointment Sonny got him is expensive. That’s not helping,”

“Great,” he smiled, and you shot him a glare, “you’re not actually mad at me, but more at yourself,”

“Don’t do this. You’re not a parent, Rafael,”

“Indeed,” he took a deep breath, “And how come did I do not know you were one?”

“This will just bring us back to our convo from February, don’t you think? And we both know how it ended,”

“We were interrupted,”

“And you’ve been avoiding me ever since,”

So, you noticed that. You always noticed things. He hates that about you. He intensely looked at you, not knowing what to say exactly.

“But don’t worry, Barba, you won’t have to use force for that anymore,” you gently patted his shoulder and joined the others. “My love, do you mind if I steal your thunder for a moment?” You asked your son.

“Nope. Are you going to tell them?”

You looked at Liv for approval and signed Rafael to come closer, which he did. Everybody waited for you to talk. “I—I’m leaving SVU,” you said. There were gasps, widen eyes and Sonny choked on his beer. “Don’t die yet, Sonny. I haven’t finished,” you paused. “It’s no secret that my father was born in Sweden and move here after he fell in love with my mum,”

That, Rafael did know. You talked about your Swedish origins. “After my mum died, my father moved back there. And he’s been bugging us to come with him and considering I’ve always promised this one,” you said, playing with Austin’s hair, “that we would try to live there for a while, I’m actually taking a sabbatical. And next month, we’re flying to Sweden. But we’ll stop by California first, apparently,”

Only Liv knew. So, it came as a shock to everyone else.

The mood changed after that. They were all happy but also sad to see you and Tom leave. Mostly Sonny. It was very rare to witness a silent Sonny Carisi, but this was it. One by one, people started to leave the party. Mia and Joy took your son to the bowling alley. Rafael wanted to be the last so he could have a talk with you, but apparently, Sonny had the same thing in mind.

Rafael was helping you cleaning up the apartment when you noticed Sonny, on your small balcony. “How long has he been there?” You asked Rafael, who just raised his shoulders, clearly annoyed. You joined Sonny, not knowing that Rafael could hear everything you two were talking about.

“You okay there, Sonshine?” Sonny chuckled.

“A bit stunned, I guess.” He said, not looking at you.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I—I was afraid to tell you,”

“Why?”

“Because of what happened a few months ago. Because I’m scared to leave you. Because—I was afraid to change my mind after I told you,”

He finally looked at you. “I’ll never hold you back, Y/N. You know that? You talk so much about Sweden, so does Tom. I’m not completely surprised,”

“Under different circumstances—“ you said, letting the silence says the rest. Sonny turned to his side, so he was facing you.

“I was okay with being your second choice, Y/N, as long as you chose me. But you’re also leaving to be away from him, aren’t you?”

You nodded. “I don’t want to promise you anything, Sonny. But maybe—after that year away—“

He knew what you meant. Sonny put his hand on your cheek, softly caressing your skin with his thumb. Before he could lean in to kiss you, you both heard the balcony window opening. Rafael was standing there. “Who’s your first choice, Y/N?” He just asked. Sonny loudly sighed and turned his back to the lawyer.

“Not important, Rafael.”

“Por favor— answer me.”

“You, idiot,” Sonny muttered, still looking over Manhattan.

“Can—can you come inside for a moment, please?” Rafael asked.

“Don’t worry, I’m leaving,” Sonny said, and turned around to kiss your forehead, “Don’t make anything stupid. Call me,” he kissed your forehead again and walked past Rafael to leave.

“Great timing, Barba,” you sighed.

“I—I don’t understand,” he struggled to say.

“You may be a smart-ass lawyer but when it comes to relationships, you’re very dumb,”

“How long have you—?”

“Been in love with you? About three years. Somehow, the more you pushed me away, the more it made me fall,”

“I pushed you away only because I was scared. Scared of the things I feel for you,”

“You can’t—you can’t confess your love to me as I’m leaving the States, Rafael. That’s not fair,”

“If I don’t do it now, when am I supposed to do it? Over the phone while you’re in Sweden? Or when you come back and choose Carisi?” He paused. “Did you guys sleep together or something?”

“Definitely none of your business,” you said. “And you had five years. Five fucking years, during which all you did was making me feel like a burden for you,”

“I—I never meant to do that. I’m sorry,”

“It’s too late, Rafael. I’m leaving anyway,”

“I’ll wait for you if you ask me to,”

“I’m not. Just like I won’t ask that to Sonny,”

“Then—what? What do we do?”

“Nothing. I’m leaving with my boy in a few weeks, maybe I’ll come back next year, or maybe I won’t. And everybody goes on with their life,”

“Are you saying that I missed my shot with you?”

“Probably,”

This will be hard to swallow. Rafael probably never will, to be honest. But one thing is sure, he couldn’t miss his last chance to kiss you. He closed the gap between your bodies, and slowly put his hands on each side of your face. Since you weren’t pushing him away, he took it as a permission and leaned in to kiss you. He softly put his lips on yours. Right here, right now, on your balcony, nothing else mattered but you and him.

Things escalated quickly. The kiss got more intense, and you used force to make him step back into your apartment. Still kissing each other, Rafael slid his hands on your butt and your legs, gently squeezing to signal you to jump in his arms, which you did. He pulled away briefly, just to ask you which one was your bedroom.

He laid you down on the bed, clothes quickly fly across the room. This probably wouldn’t change a thing, but Rafael made love to you as if his life depends on it.

Indeed, it didn’t change a thing. Two weeks later, you and Tomas flew to California, spent two weeks there with Nick, before flying to Sweden.

Part two, anyone?

#rafael barba #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba fanfiction #rafael barba fic #sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi imagine #sonny carisi x you #nick amaro #law and order svu #law and order x reader #law and order fanfiction

[lovinkiri]

Since requests are open, how about some sweet aftercare with Villain Deku and Quirkless hero reader? As time passes, the more stronger and smarter S/O gets, the more popular she is, slowly achieving her dream. Unfortunately, this also leads to more harassment, bullying, and other discrimination from others while on hero duty. Deku comforts her after an extremely harsh day, especially since she was crying. Afterwards, Deku goes and kills the ones who made her cry-~

Ugly Articles

Author's Thoughts: My thoughts while reading this just 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Warning: Implied Murder, Suggested Love Making, Death Threats Mentioned, Really Bad Insults, etc.

It wasn't easy, working your way up as one of the first quirkless heroes. You were always told you couldn't do it, told that it was impossible.

So when you finally did start to gain popularity, you thought you could handle the negativity. Only it was way worse than you thought.

People came up to you in the streets and mocked you, kids laughed like you were a joke. People sent hate mail to your agency with death threats and letters of disgust. They insulted your intelligence, they insulted the way you looked, they insulted your parents for having you.

People were ruthless.

And it wasn't like it was all bad. You gained some amazing fans, and met so many new people. You were given opportunities you only dreamed of as a kid. But the hate could get so overwhelming.

Your boyfriend, your little secret, he could see it.

One day, when you walked into your house after a really bad day, you almost tore off your hero suit and plopped down on the couch in tears.

They had come up with a new mean name for you that particularly stung.

You weren't aware of Izuku, who was in the kitchen trying to make you something to eat. The sound of your door was enough to let him know you'd returned home. It wasn't until he heard you sniffles that he came rushing over.

His presence wasn't surprising. Izuku often broke into your place before you got home. It was something you were used to.

"Hey, hey.." He sat next to you, arms immediately lifting you onto his lap. You immediately nuzzled into his shoulder and Izuku gently hushed you.

"Its okay, My Doll. Everything is alright. You're in a safe space now.."

It took you a moment before you were able to talk, a moment that Izuku patiently waited through.

When you were ready, you pulled away. "A journalist wrote a bad story about me. Hasn't published it yet, but he's planning to tomorrow morning."

Izuku cooed softly and kissed your forehead. "Everything will be okay, love. Just deep breathes."

You shook your head and went over to your hero suit, pulling a folded paper from one of the pockets of the utility belt.

You walked over and held it out to him. Izuku looked at you beforehand slowly taking the paper. He had some anger issues and he was hoping he'd be able to control them.

But then he read the letter, and he began to shake in anger.

The title? Useless Hero: Quirkless

The article went on to talk about how hated you were, how you'd never get far enough to be considered a 'real hero'. Instead of insulting your parents, talked about how ashamed the must be. Talked about how citizens would never feel safe being protected by the likes of you.

And the worst part was that wasn't the end. The article cut off at the bottom of the paper but Izuku assumed you'd only brought page one home.

Izuku balled it up and threw it away quickly. You shook your head and let out a broken laugh. "Says he might make it a regular column in his paper."

Willing himself to calm down as to not accidentally hurt you with his quirk, Izuku once more pulled you onto his lap.

"Hey, listen. I won't let that asshole publish that. So don't worry your pretty little head over lies like that. Those articles don't meant anything obviously." He paused to gently peck your lips, cupping your face between his palms. "And all the people you've saved would agree with me."

You cracked a smile and laughed. "Thank you, Zuku.. What did you make before I got here? It smells really good."

"Mm.. Thats a surprise. But it's one of your favorites. And afterwards, I'll hold you close. If you'd like, I'll tire you out and make you forget about today for a while. And by tomorrow, the article won't even exist. Neither will that journalist."

♡♡♡♡♡

The next morning, Izuku was next to you in bed, gently petting your head.

And this journalist, well his coworkers went looking for him after he missed work, something he didn't usually do.

His house was empty. Almost like he grabbed his stuff and moved.

Izuku was smart. He could definitely a murder victim look like a runaway.

#izuku midoriya x reader #villian #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #x reader

[usedtobe-angstyoikawa]

Found him

Oikawa Tooru x gn!reader

Summary: part 2 of this

Warnings: little bit of angst but it gets better I promise

Word count: 2047

a/n: you asked for it so here it is, I hope I didn’t fuck it up :)

———————————————————————

He hated rainy days, they made him wanna stay in bed and do nothing but sleep. The sound of his alarm going off for the third time that morning reminded him it was time to get up though. He hurried out of bed and tried getting ready as fast as he could, brushing his teeth while peeing at the same time wasn’t and easy task but he managed. Having breakfast wasn’t an option, neither was taking a shower, he was already running late to his first meeting as a professional. Some crackers and cologne will have to do, he thought before running out of his house and towards the bus stop.

You had woken up early that same morning, enjoying the peaceful sound of silence and the warmth of your hot beverage. After taking a long shower you got ready for work and searched for your car keys, which you were sure you had placed on top of the kitchen table the night before. You spent almost 15 minutes looking for the damn keys until you found them on the living room floor next to the sofa. Just when you were getting up your eyes caught a glimpse of a very familiar face smiling at you from behind a glass. It was yours and Oikawa’s graduation picture, that was taken way back when you were two reckless teens. After that day (and the horrible scene that still played in your mind every now and then) you hadn’t heard from him, except you knew he had moved to Argentina to play for the San Juan volleyball team. You weren’t mad at him and you were pretty sure he wasn’t mad at you either, there was no reason to be. Both of you were busy with college and volleyball, not to mention figuring out how the adult life worked, so you simply fell out of touch. As for what had happened between him and Iwaizumi you had no idea. You hoped they had realize how crazy they were for each other and started dating already, but you knew they didn’t really believe in long distance relationships so you doubted that had happened. Still, you were sure that if you ever bumped into them you’d be able to say hi without hurting like you used to. And with that thought roaming your mind you got in your car and drove to work.

The sound of the elevator doors closing and opening made him nervous, or maybe it was the tick in his left eye and the smell of a strong cologne coming from the man behind him. How could anyone wear such an amount of hideous vomiting scent, he thought. Before he could start complaining out loud the elevator reached his floor and he slowly walked to the conference room. He knew he was late, he had actually planed on it as soon as he was told who had been assigned as his interviewer. Was he being childish? Probably. Was there a reason for him to be acting that way? Probably not, but still he took his time while making his way to the last glass door in the hall.

You were sitting at the table with a bunch of other coworkers and your boss, waiting for your clients to arrive. You let out an annoyed sigh as you read through the pages that had been given to you with your client’s requests. Apparently you were about to meet a professional athlete with a tight schedule and many fans waiting for the new information to drop. For an instance your mind thought of a certain brown haired boy but instantly shook it away, he wasn’t even in the same continent as you were. Or so you thought. Suddenly the glass doors flew open and you heard the unmistakable voice of said boy, that was now a man.

He was almost a hundred percent sure he was lost. Had he taken the right elevator? Yeah, there was no other one. Maybe he was in the wrong building? No way he had double checked the address. Why did all the rooms look the same? How come none of them had a number or tag on each door? Man his boss was gonna kill him, he had warned him these people didn’t like waiting. He had decided to go back on his steps and star again from the elevator when he bumped into someone who looked like they worked there. Thank god.

“ Hello Mr Oikawa, I’m the head director of the magazine’s sports section” the sound of your boss’s voice echoed in your head but you couldn’t process anything he was saying. “ We’re so glad to have you here, I was told by your manager that you don’t have enough free time for a proper interview and obviously time isn’t something we have abundance of. So, here’s what we’re gonna do…” he proceeded to explain to the volleyball player how we had managed to arrange a joined interview with a fellow athlete.

“It sounds okay, I can’t say I’m excited though I don’t really mind sharing the spotlight. Plus I’ve read your magazine in many occasions and I can tell your writers have experienced in the volleyball field” his eyes were set in you and he gave you a small smile. You tried to smile back but you still couldn’t believe he was standing in front of you. Just this morning you had thought of him after such a long time of hearing nothing from him and there he was. As if that hadn’t been socking enough, the glass doors opened again and your second client entered the room. Brown spiked hair and a sweaty face caught everyones attention.

“Hello, I’m sorry I’m late the bus took forever to get through the morning traffic and I have to say these glass doors rooms look all the same” the man started while trying to catch his breath. As soon as he looked up from the floor his eyes scanned the room and stopped at the athlete. They looked at each other for a while without uttering a word, even when your boss started talking they still held each other’s gaze.

Oh to think that same morning you had thought you’d be fine with seeing them again. How naive.

After your boss finished explaining how and when the interview was gonna take place, he decided to introduce both men.

“And this is who you’ll be interviewed with, I’m pretty sure you already know who he is. Oikawa Toruu, professional volleyball player” he said “ And Oikawa this is Iwaizumi Hajime, Japan’s volleyball team’s coach he’s new to this so please be nice”

“Oikawa” said the shorter man while giving a nod with his head.

“Iwaizumi” the other greeted “ Its nice to see you again”

You could tell by the atmosphere in the room that those two had never confessed to the other. The tension could be cut with a butter knife.

“Oh! You already know each other that’s great. Now meet your interviewer, they’re one of our most talented writers in the sports section and they happen to know a lot about volleyball” and so everyone’s eyes were on you. You could tell Hajime wasn’t sure if he knew you or not, even if you had gone to the same high school you weren’t sure he remembered you. “You can follow them into the room next door and start discussing the details for the interview. I promise you you’re gonna be amazed by their skills”

“Trust me we know how great they are.” It was Tooru’s voice. You still didn’t know what to say so you exited the room and told the two grown men behind you to follow. “ Now are you going to interview us or are we back to hating each other” he joked as soon as you closed the glass door and you couldn’t believe that after all those years it still felt the same. You laughed along with Iwaizumi, who apparently did recognize you.

“This is crazy” he said “How long has it been? And you’re a journalist? I can’t believe I didn’t know about this”

“Yeah well, we all took different paths so it’s not that surprising I guess” you tried to play it off as if the whole situation didn’t have an effect on you.

“Oh no, not at all. I have to confess I knew you worked here” Tooru said “ But I certainly didn’t know you were gonna be here too, Iwa-chan” your heart stopped at the mention of that old nickname. You could see the blush covering Iwaizumi’s cheeks and it made you smile. It was so painfully obvious that even after all that time they still were head over heels for each other. But, like the last time you didn’t say a word, it was none of your business and you were only there to do your work.

The interview went smoothly, the three of you laughed and had a good time remembering old high school stories. Oikawa would give you a panicked look every time his love life was mentioned, but you managed to keep the sport as the main focus of the interview.

Once it was finished, you went for a coffee together and talked about your lives and careers. Iwaizumi was the first to leave, excusing himself saying something along the lines of training and team. You stayed a little longer with Tooru, chatting and asking him questions about Argentina and the friends he’d made.

“It was a great experience but there’s nothing like home you know. I really missed this.” his words would’ve warmed your heart only if they had been meant for you, even though they were directed to you it was clear he was talking about his childhood best friend and crush.

“You know I really thought you were going to confess to him back then” the words left your mouth without even realizing it. The boy next to you tended his shoulders and then let out a sigh.

“I couldn’t do it, I knew he didn’t feel the same way and I didn’t want to ruin the friendship” you knew exactly how that felt but that was different, there was no way his friend wasn’t in love with him. Whereas in your case you did know your crush didn’t like you back, hell he had even said it to your face. Still, both situations sucked and you knew better than anyone that keeping your feelings bottled up for too long wasn’t ideal. “I also knew you liked me” those words took you by surprise.

“Excuse me”

“Oh don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Iwaizumi told me, just when I was about to confess to him he said you should ask them out.” Oh, that’s why he though his feelings weren’t reciprocated. “I’m pretty sure I owe you and apology for not realizing sooner, you were always there for me but still I couldn’t see it and kept talking about my crush on someone else. So yeah, I’m sorry for that.” He was being sincere and you could tell he was a bit ashamed too.

“It’s okay, I’m okay.” you grabbed his hand and looked him in the eye “That doesn’t change the fact that you two are idiots and still need me to solve your problems. Now I promised myself I would never get involved in this, but I’m not gonna let my friends spend the rest of their lives alone. So, get your ass out of this café and go after your man before I punch you in the face”

“Okay okay I’m doing this, he can’t reject me I’m basically perfect” he hyped himself up before getting up and walking up to the door. Before closing it he popped his head inside again and looked at you. “Oh and Y/N” you gave him a small smile “Thank you, you’re the best friend I could’ve asked for” and with that he turned around and left not only the café but your heart too, finally freeing that space he was never meant to fill and placing himself on the right top shelf, the center of it now empty and ready to welcome a new beginning.

First part

#haikyuu!! #oikawa toru x reader #iwaizumi hajime #oikawa torū #iwaoi #oikawa x iwaizumi #haikyuu x reader #oikawa angst #oikawa fic #oikawa x you #oikawa fluff

[madswritingvoid]

Say You’re Sorry

Pairing: Max Phillips x f!reader

Words: 3k (oops haha)

Warnings: SMUT. 18+ only. Oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, p in v sex, fingering, swearing, slight choking, first time writing smut should probably be a warning itself, sexism, Max Phillips is a warning probably.

You knew it was a bad idea. Well, actually, no you didn’t. Not fully. The voice in your head was just screaming at you to stop - there were other ways to get his attention. Other ways to make Max feel bad for what he did during the Synersavers presentation that didn’t require you stooping this low. Fuck it, you figured, if he can go around and do whatever he wants to get his way then so can I.

Fixing your hair and outfit in the mirror one last time, you went back into the office looking for the desk you usually avoid like the plague. Max Phillips, fuck you.

Earlier That Day

“So you see, Mr. Jacobson, our third quarter projections have us coming in on top by two million dollars and the fourth quarter is looking even better. I mean really champ, if these numbers were anymore amazing they’d be as hot as your associate there in that fetching skirt,” Max winks at the woman taking meeting minutes for your potential new client, causing her skin to blotch, “fucking unreal. Pardon my French,” he finishes, earning a big laugh from the CEO of Synersavers, the new bullshit placebo pill that was supposed to alter the brain’s natural neural pathways to promote synergy. You weren’t sure what dreams synergy was helping pathetic humans to achieve, but it meant a bonus if they signed on so you made sure that PowerPoint presentation was the best slides of your career.

You scoff, worried that if you roll your eyes they’ll get stuck. You know Max Phillips was quite the charmer, you knew better than anyone in the office. This past year saw him go from being just your hot vampire boss you had a crush on, to your hot vampire boss that was now your boyfriend. 

While you never made an official statement to your coworkers, you quietly signed the papers Amanda in HR needed signed and let the sound of you screaming Max’s name in his office while he was balls deep inside you let the rest of your coworkers know of your relationship. Overall, Max was a great boyfriend. Better than expected even - attentive, caring, protective to a fault, all while still being that loveable (?) piece of shit frat boy extraordinaire he had been at the beginning. 

You knew he still had to lay on the charm to close sales from time to time, never actually violating your relationship in any way, but after the fight you had this morning you didn’t think flirting with the only person in the meeting who did not actually control whether or not this partnership was going to happen right in front of you was the best move.

“Mr. Phillips,” Jacobson says, once again only acknowledging Max and completely ignoring you as he had been for the entire presentation, “you got quite the silver tongue. But I like that about ya, I think you get what our product is all about and I wanna make this partnership work. I’m surprised your presentation is as good as it was, because if you’ll pardon my French, if my secretary looked as delicious as yours does I’d be too busy fucking her left, right, and centre to even think about the fourth quarter anything!” He laughs and claps Max on the shoulder and you tense up, sure that Max is going to say something. Not even because he’s your boyfriend, but because he landed the sale and doesn’t have to be as sleazy as this dickhead is. 

“See that’s where you’re wrong Jacobson, it’s almost like I’m working double to avoid her. Just doesn’t get the mojo flowing, y’know? Maybe we should switch, what do you think sweetheart?” He looks over at the still flustered secretary, “Come on and work for me and we’ll work on some new ways of making synergy happen,” he wags his eyebrows and you’re surprised this poor woman hasn’t slid right off her seat. You’re stunned. Even as Mr. Jacobson laughs and brings a laughing Max into some sort of capitalist bro hug, you can’t bring yourself to move. It isn’t until you hear the squeak of the wheels from the chair Mr. Jacobson’s secretary was sitting against the shitty meeting room carpet that you snap back to the present and shut everything down. By the time you finish everyone is long gone, leaving you to stew in your rage.

A hesitant knock on the meeting room door makes you jump as you’re met with a sheepish looking Evan in the doorway. You were never a big fan of Evan when you started, kind of thought he was a wimp but he was nice enough. After getting with Max and learning their shared history, you couldn’t stand Evan, but were able to be far more professional when needed until Max.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize anyone was still in here after Max and the Synersavers people left,” he shrugged. “What the fuck do you mean Max left with them?” You asked through clenched teeth. Scratching the back of his neck nervously, Evan took a deep breath before telling you, “yeah, um. They left for a late liquid lunch from what it sounded like, Max said you would be too busy learning how to make a paper clip bracelet to join them… Sorry, he’s such an asshole. You don’t deserve that, especially not from that bastard,” He couldn’t meet your eyes. Even though he still tried to tell you to leave Max every single day, you appreciate him being there this time.

There were many things you could be mean to Evan for, but deep down you knew he didn’t deserve the wrath of your anger this time. 

Later That Afternoon

After taking the elevator up to the office to mentally cleanse his mind from that mindless lunch with that absolute creep Jacobson, Max was trying to come up with the best apology for you. He knew he didn’t have to be so forward flirting with that secretary, what the fuck was her name anyways, in order to win the sexist CEO over. But he was feeling petty after your fight while you were getting ready for work he figured it wouldn’t hurt to remind you that many other women find him quite the catch.

“You’re lying! You have to be lying!! There’s no way that happened oh my god,” Max stops dead in his tracks as he hears your giggles from inside the office. “It is! I totally saw Tim practising the dance moves the day after that Kelly Clarkson concert in the men’s washroom. I didn’t even know she had dancers, but from what I saw it really must have been a hell of a show,” Evan says as you throw your head back and let out another over-the-top cackle. You’re sitting on top of Evan’s desk, resting your hand on his shoulder as he sits in between your open legs, clearly enjoying the attention. 

You’re hamming it up, he knows that, he knows that’s not what your real laugh sounds like - the laugh he gets to hear when he really does something that you like. He knows you don’t mean it but he’s immediately flooded with anger and guilt. He obviously didn’t realize how much the day had taken a toll on you and now you must be really mad if you’re going to Evan to get back at him.

“Oh my god Evan that’s too funny,” you giggle and place a hand on his shoulder, “you just made my day! I won’t tell Tim anything, it’ll be our little secret,” you wink. Evan’s blush deepens at the touch, maybe you weren’t so bad after all and if Max (and Amanda at this point) didn’t look out he would maybe ask you out for a drink sometime soon. Bring you back to the land of the living.

Deciding he’s absolutely had enough, Max quietly comes up behind Evan and slaps both hands on his shoulders after seeing you move yours back to your lap, causing him to freeze and let out a little squeak. “Slugger, I’m sure whatever’s going on here is just too funny, but didn’t I ask you to finish up that presentation for tomorrow’s meeting with NuevaWeight?” he pouts, “I really thought you were taking this job seriously buddy, but maybe I should just get Andrew to take over…”

“N-no Max, sorry. Yeah the presentation is almost done, it’ll be ready before the end of the day,” Evan stammers. Max finally meets your eyes and smirks, “and you can meet me in my office. Apparently you think you can stop doing your job and distracting my employees.”

You can’t even speak, your jaw set and eyes burning from the absolute rage you feel right now. Yeah you’ll meet him in his office, but it won’t be so he can lecture you about whatever bullshit he’s already thought of. “Of course Mr. Phillips, meet you there,” you manage to snap back, calmly making your way to his office. Anyone walking by you immediately gets out of your way, your anger coming off in waves making your undead coworkers shiver.

Clapping Evan on the shoulder one more time, Max saunters over to his office, ready to make you beg for his forgiveness after that little stunt. As soon as he opens his office door he realizes that won’t be happening.

You’re sitting in his chair, legs propped up on his desk in a way that makes your skirt ride up and expose more thigh than what HR might deem office appropriate. “Ah, Mr. Phillips, so nice of you to make it,” you smirk. “Sweets, I think there must be some sort of misunderstandi-'' you cut him off with a dark look and stand up. Walking up to him you close his office door and push him against it, “No champ,” you sneer, “I think you’re confused here. I’m not the one who decided to be a very, very bad boy by flirting with someone else and insulting me in front of new clients.” Chest to chest, your hand slithers up to grab Max’s throat. Even though he is a vampire who could toss you around like a ragdoll, you know he’s letting you be in control. He likes it.

“While you were out entertaining I’ve been thinking about what I could do to make you really sorry, baby. You were already on thin ice from this morning, but now you’re drowning,” you squeeze a little harder on his throat making his eyes roll back. “What are you gonna do? I’m so sorry,” he whispers. You take a moment, just looking into those eyes you love so much, before answering.

“Maybe I’ll sit on your cock. Let you fill my pussy up but not let you cum, because only good boys get to come, you know that Maxie. Maybe I’ll just use you like my own walking, talking dildo. If I’m so replaceable you won’t mind not getting to fill me up? Right?” You smirk again as he whines, his hands clenching because all he wants to do is make you feel good now. 

“You wanna run that mouth, Phillips? You wanna make everything think you’re so fucking special when I know you’re really just a scared little vamp, huh?” You say with a pout. Grabbing his hair, you force his head up so you can look right into his eyes that are now almost completely black from lust. “Come on big shot, if you wanna be a big boy then you gotta show me that mouth can do something other than just spew bullshit, slugger.” 

That’s all the permission he needs. He hoists you up in his arms and thanks to vampire speed you’re now sat on his leather couch, skirt up around your waist, underwear ripped clean off, fully exposed to his hungry eyes. “Baby, I’m so sorry,” he pouts, “let me make you feel good. I just want you-” You’ve heard enough, pushing him down so his mouth finally reaches your core. Moaning at finally tasting you, Max wastes no time taking your clit and sucking hard, already teasing your entrance with one of his long fingers. 

“Y-Yes Max, fuck! Be a good boy and make me cum just like this,” you moan and clench around the finger inside of you, knowing you’re absolutely dripping onto the couch underneath you. He adds a second, then a third, making you arch your back until you’re almost sitting up from how good he’s fucking you with his hands. His mouth doesn’t stop, sucking and licking, spelling out his apologies against your body. Knowing you’re close, he starts focusing on that spot inside of you that drives you wild. 

“Oh! Oh, Maxie yes. Such a g-good boy,” you pant, meeting his hand thrust for thrust trying to reach your high, “make me feel so good please please please baby I’m right there, I-” you can’t finish that sentence as your vision goes white and all you can do is let out a strangled moan that sounds like his name.

Once your legs start shaking you pull both of you up, undoing his belt and pushing him onto the couch so you can straddle his waist. You wrap a hand around his neck and start nipping at the area, rocking your soaked pussy along his aching cock that was now free from the confines of his dress pants a few times before sinking down on him. A wicked grin stretches across your face as his moans get louder. He chokes when he feels you gush around him, not expecting you to come again so soon but you were still sensitive from his mouth, the hair above his cock rubbing deliciously against your clit, but you wanted more still. 

Picking up the pace, you squeeze around his throat again and start taunting him, “You gonna replace me baby? Yeah? You gonna find a pussy that takes you this good? Be my guest. Go right now and find something better, or show me how goddamn sorry you are.”

Granting him permission to take over, Max flips you on your back, making sure your head is supported by one of the couch cushions. He immediately wraps your legs around his waist, angling one leg to let him sink even deep inside of you, your moans mixing together as you both revel in the feeling of him finally being inside of you. Wanting to prove himself he wastes no time pulling out just to start slamming back into you. 

You moan and clench around him, making him hiss and he doesn’t let up. Watching him disappear inside of you over and over again, he starts babbling his apologies. “N-Never baby. Could never replace you. Never gonna find a pu-pussy this fucking good. Look at you, so perfect, so so perfect taking my cock like that. I’m sorry. You’re so good. I don’t deserve it, it’s- fuck it’s so fucking good. Best pussy of all time,” he moans as you clamp down on him, your third orgasm ripping through you. 

“Yes - yes Max, that’s fucking r-right. I’m the best pussy you’ll ever have,” you moan again from being so full. You know he’s sorry so you decide to let him finish after all. Taking your hands off his shoulders, you start tangling your fingers in his hair and bring his face close to your so your lips are almost touching, “you did so good Maxie,” you coo, “you cock made me feel so fucking good I know you’re sorry now.” He shudders at your words but keeps his steady pace, trying to make you cum again, still holding back his own impending orgasm. “Thank you baby, ‘m so so sorry, I love you and I just wanna be good for you-” “shhh shhh Maxie, I know I know. You did good baby, now show me how good you are and cum inside of me.” 

That’s all he needs. 

Something between a groan and growl comes deep from within Max as he finally lets go, pushing himself as far as he can inside of you as he starts painting your walls. Coming down from his high, he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck as you start peppering him with kisses wherever you can reach, carding your fingers through his hair.

“I’m really sorry baby,” you hear him mumble into your neck, “I love you.” He kisses along your throat and you hum, moving your head to give him more access. “I know Max, I love you too. I forgive you. But try that again and I’ll cut your dick off in front of the whole office,” you laugh.

He chuckles too, continuing to shower you with love. “As much as I want to stay right here forever baby, let’s go home and I can keep showing you how sorry I am,” he suggests, wiggling his eyebrows to earn a giggle from you, “sounds good Maxie, you’re lucky I’m just sooooo forgiving.”

Untangling from each other and making yourselves as presentable as you care to be, you leave the office hand-in-hand, ready to see what the rest of the night has in store.

#max phillips #max phillips x reader #max phillips x y/n #max phillips x you #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal imagines #bloodsucking bastards

[bts-roses]

Spilling Coffee | 1

➼ summary: You’ve always prided yourself in being a naturally graceful and reliable person. So an internship at BigHit seemed like a walk in the park. That is, until a certain goof slide-kicks you off your feet and makes your life a whole lot harder.

/

Namjoon is a misunderstood klutz and y/n thinks too much.

➼ pairing: idol!namjoon x intern!reader

➼ genre: fluff, angst (if you squint), idolverse

➼ word count: 3,700

| next

‣

You have always been proud of your natural grace. Throughout your life, it’s granted you the title of being the responsible and reliable one. The one to do the important jobs. You were always the child the teacher would pick to fill a glass of water up for the paintbrushes during art class. You would do that with a smug grin on your face, holding a big ass jar of water with both of your tiny hands. You would hand it to the teacher, whip your pigtails as you turn around and walk back to your seat looking at your jealous classmates like hell yeah I just did that, you bitches could never.

So naturally, finding out you were about to intern in a big entertainment company, you just knew you were going to unquestionably nail it. Being responsible for mundane tasks like going on coffee runs or carrying boxes to different places? Uhh, you lived for that shit.

Obviously, these weren’t the only tasks and they were definitely not going to help you in the long run of your dream profession. But being able to put down that you received work experience from Big Hit Entertainment sure was. And there was an opportunity to get a job there after your internship! And the internship pays really well! And apparently the food in their canteen was pretty good! In conclusion, it was a win-win situation all around. And how hard could it be?

The answer to that was hard. Very fucking hard.

‣

Namjoon has always been in awe of how clumsy he actually was. Even his bandmates wonder how such an intelligent, grown man can be such a dumbass. Whenever he tried to fix something? Boom, it instantly got 10x worse. His fans even call him the God of Destruction. He would be offended by the nickname, but he can’t hate the truth. And the title is pretty badass if you think about it.

He was more of the kid in art class who was always given small jobs like making sure the aprons weren’t tangled up when it was time to put them away. Even though he wanted cooler jobs like holding those cool big ass glass jars, he understood that sometimes it’s just best to mind his own business and do his own designated jobs. You know, for world peace.

But today. Wow. It’s like the gods above are punishing him or something.

He actually woke up feeling pretty good. Today was going to be his day. Or so he thought. His clumsiness, once again, ruins it for him.

Long story short: he accidentally broke a bit of the toilet seat off. In his defence, he really needed a shit and someone left the toilet seat up again. He was definitely not going to fall into the toilet bowl this time. So Namjoon did the only thing a human could do in such a limited space of time: he slam-dunked that toilet seat down as hard as he could. Not his smartest idea. To his dismay, he spent his morning poo hovering over the toilet, with a piece of the seat held in his left hand. Let’s just say the other members were not thrilled when he walked out to the kitchen holding the piece of the smashed toilet seat from one of the most used bathrooms in the house.

After sitting through another one of Seokjin's speeches about the importance of handling things with a bit more caution, Namjoon decided it would be best to go to the company a bit earlier than the others today. Especially when the younger ones wouldn’t stop roasting the shit out of him. It was when he tripped over walking into the company building he thought to himself.

Maybe today wasn’t his day.

‣

This was the tenth day of your internship. And you don’t like to boast but you think you’re owning this shit. Sure, your boss is scary and likes giving you lots of monotonous tasks. But she’s not that bad. Besides, this is what you signed up for! And you’re having fun. Kinda.

“Intern.” You look up from your desk to see a smiling Joowon, one of your coworkers, “Lee is asking for you.”

Giving him a nod, you swiftly get up from your desk. You knock on your boss’ door and walk in when she acknowledges your presence.

“Yes, Mrs Lee?” you say, beaming brightly.

“I need you to go on a coffee run for the marketing team. We have an important meeting regarding TXT’s comeback and I do not want to see anyone slacking. If I do, I will kill someone,” she says looking up from the screen, giving you a small vacant smile. See? She’s warming up to you!

“Of course! Do you want me to buy you a knife while I’m out? Just in case?” You joke while giggling lightly.

“Was that supposed to be a joke?” She asks, with no amusement in her face.

You immediately stop laughing. Fuck. Maybe she’s just a tad bit scary. You stiffen a bit and nod ashamed.

“Yeah. I don’t need any of that here” she glances at you up and down and then looks back at her computer, “you should leave now.”

You bow and basically run out of her office. Okay. Fine. She’s fucking terrifying.

You knew working in a big establishment like BigHit was going to be intimidating but not this intimidating. It didn’t help that you had a subliminal fear of attractive people. Of course, you liked looking at them but talking to them made you so nervous. Maybe you should've taken that into account before working in a fucking entertainment company. They were everywhere. At least you were working in the marketing team, where your interactions with the idols were very limited. However, you still would have the odd occurrence with one. On your second day, TXT's Soobin asked you for Mrs Lee's whereabouts. You nearly cried... But let’s not think about that.

Thankfully, your department is quite small and you only had to go get nine iced americanos. The lady at the counter also gave you two paper bags that held eight of them which made your life easier. Since you were feeling fancy and had the room, you got yourself an iced latte. Realising you were a bit short on time, you quickly dashed back to the company.

Entering the building, you check the clock on the lobby wall: fifteen minutes until the meeting starts. Cool. That's fine. You can totally get there before it starts. Totally. Deep breath. You'll be fine. After violently stabbing the elevator button multiple times, you hastily enter and press the floor you needed. Seeing no one was going to get on with you, you push the button to close the doors. Just once. Maybe a few times for good measure. Before the doors shut, you catch a glimpse of the clock again. Thirteen minutes. More than enough time.

When you reach your floor, you check inside the bags to make sure nothing has spilt. You can't help but smile. Look at you. Two coffees in each hand? Not a spill. Holding two bags of coffee? Not a single drop. You really did that. You were that bitch. I am the elite intern. You think to yourself with a chuckle. Then you stop yourself and wince. Jesus Christ. You really needed to get a life.

Remembering your task, you carefully pull out your phone from your pocket to check the time; ten minutes. Just to be safe (and to beat your previous coffee run score of having eight minutes to spare), you speed down the hallway.

You can literally see the glass walls of the meeting room. Not even half of the team is there yet. You were that early. On the opposite side of the corridor, you see your boss, who is facing away from you, and Joowon talking to each other. He glances at you and smiles. You quicken your pace, about to return the smile.

Suddenly, you're seeing him horizontally.

What the fuck? Why the fuck? Oh my God. You're too busy soaking up the mess in front of you that you don’t feel the searing pain on your left ankle. You blink hard and freeze on the floor.

The coffee is spilt. Everywhere.

Shit. You’re gonna get killed. You're gonna get fired. Before you start crying on the ground, the floor starts moving... Wait. Floors don't move. Uuugh. And floors sure as hell don't groan.

You look sideways to realise you're on top of someone's chest. That said someone looks down at you.

Your heart drops.

You jump up to stand and you instantly feel the sting on your ankle. You look at the scene in front of you. You feel like sobbing again. You just spilt your drink all over RM. Fucking Kim Namjoon. You know, the leader of the biggest fucking boy group on the planet? That's the one. You aren’t just going to be fired. You're gonna be banished from Korea. Burned at the stake. Mauled to death.

"I'm so fucking sorry." You burst out, desperately getting back down on the floor to clean up the liquid with your clothes, "I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to."

You warily look at him. He's just lying there in this weird, starfish-like position. Not really moving. Oh my God, you think to yourself. You fucking broke him. Did you kill him?

You stop helplessly scrubbing the floor with your jumper sleeve and shakily ask him, "are you alive?"

Abruptly, pulls himself up in a seated position. You flinch. Fuck. He's gorgeous. Great, now you’re nervous. He stares at you blankly and you wince a bit. You mentally prepare yourself to get screamed at and you feel a sting in your eyes. God, you're about to cry. You’re gonna lose your internship. You’re gonna have no future. You're so fucking terri-

All you hear is a deep chuckle.

"Shit. You've done it again Namjoon" he mutters to himself in disbelief, "Did I hurt you?"

He looks at you in concern and shuffles closer. Carefully, he puts a hand on your shoulder. Well, he’s never seen you before. He glances down at the ID card hanging from your neck. There’s a picture of you grinning cheerfully and your name: Y/n L/n. An intern? He also notices that you don’t have the same red lanyard as the other staff here; you switched yours to an Animal Crossing themed ribbon. Cute. He looks back up and his brows furrow when he sees a tear run down your cheek.

“U-uh. I-I’m fine.” you stutter, not really paying attention and avoiding eye contact. You feel yourself shaking.

“Are you sure? I just completely wiped you out with a sliding kick.” He jokes to try to ease the situation, offering a kind smile. Fuck, he has dimples, you think to yourself. You feel him brush his thumb over your cheek to wipe the stray tear.

“Oh my God. Namjoon-ah are you okay?” your boss asks, pushing past you to check on the man, “What is with this mess? What on earth did you do, intern?”

You stumble upwards, preparing for your death. You close your eyes in anticipation. Here it is. Your life was fun while it laste-

“It wasn’t her fault. And I’m fine. Just a bit of liquid.” You hear him say.

You open your eyes and face them. The idol makes eye contact with you and you quickly divert your eyes down. You feel your face heat up from the sudden attention.

“Namjoon-ah, it’s okay. You don’t need to cover up for her. She’s just an intern.” your boss says, impressed with his supposed kindness.

Excuse me? You look up at her disbelief. He was the one who caused you to fall. Before you’re about to defend yourself, you glance at him again and stop yourself. Oh, what the hell? Fine.

“I’m so sorry! I’ll clean this up straight away!” You shout and bow deeply, accepting the fault. It was just going to be easier this way, you’re just a disposable intern anyways.

Namjoon watches you bow deeply towards them. What? This was his fault.

“Wait, no this was my doin-” He started.

“I really expected better than this, intern.” Mrs Lee sighs in disappointment, not wanting to waste time, “Clean this mess up.”

You bow at both of them again as she walks past you, heading for the meeting room. Well that went better than expected. At least you’re still alive. You sigh weakly and started your hunt for something to help clean the mess up.

Before he could intervene again to clear things up, his phone rings.

“Hyung! Where are you? We need you now, the business call is just about to start.” Jimin shouts down the phone.

Namjoon curses himself. He takes a quick look at your back before running to where he was needed. So much for first impressions. Throughout the call, all he could focus on was the cute intern he wiped out and his coffee-stained hoodie sticking to his chest.

Yup. Today was definitely not his day.

‣

After two weeks of whatever that was, you’ve been trying really hard to redeem yourself. Just a few examples: you started colour coding the meeting notes to make it easier to read; you call the coffee shop ahead of time so your coffee runs take no longer than seven minutes; you bring running shoes to work so for any errands you need to run, you literally run. Oh, and most importantly, you steer the fuck out of Kim Namjoon’s way. This step has been proven difficult because you now see him everywhere. (Apparently, their group is heading into more product deals with different companies so your department is becoming a regular for them).

You tell yourself you aren’t trying to avoid the man because that would be stupid. But you know deep inside you’re just really fucking scared of him. Here are some reasons for your new founded fear:

1. He drop-kicked you down to the floor and you would be lying if you said it didn’t hurt like a bitch. You walked with a limp for a whole week. You’re pretty sure you could’ve sued him.

2. He’s the reason Mrs Lee now hates you with a burning passion. (Bit of an overstatement but since when did your mind not blow things out of proportion?)

3. He’s too tall. His mere size towers over you. It’s petrifying.

4. He’s so fucking attractive? Like? Who allowed him to look that good daily? And when he smiles, his dimples show? The thought of them breaks you out in cold sweat.

5. He smells too nice.

6. And oh yeah. Whenever you see each other, he tries to walk up and talk to you.

It scares the living daylights out of you.

‣

Namjoon has never experienced this before.

It’s like he’s the bloody plague. The guilt was eating him alive. For two weeks now he’s been trying to come up and talk to you. And for two weeks you have been running away from him like your life depended on it. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. Surely you knew it was an honest mistake and he did try to defend you against Mrs Lee. He even apologised, right? Did he apologise? Oh God, he didn’t apologise. He needs to apologise.

“Hyung!” Jungkook pushes him, “Were you even listening?”

Namjoon looks up at the youngest in confusion, “What?”

“He’s too busy thinking about his latest victim.” Jimin teases.

Jungkook laughs with him, “It’s not like she hates you or anything. If you feel so bad about it then just go talk to her and sort it out. You said she was on the marketing floor right? So just go find-”

His words get cut off by his hyung groaning and banging his head down to his table, watching the surrounding objects jump up from the force.

“You think I haven’t tried that?” He mumbles sadly into the wood, “She runs away from me.”

The two younger men look at each other.

“Hyung, you’re totally just overthinking this. She doesn’t run away from you.” Jungkook chuckles, offering a supporting hand on Namjoon’s back.

After a few hours of trying to work on some songs, Namjoon yawns loudly and stretches out his long limbs. From behind him, he hears the two yawn straight after and they all let out a small laugh.

“I think we should call it a day,” Jimin stands up, starting to pack his things, “Yoongi hyung said we were gonna have dinner tonight so we should get going.”

Moving towards the elevator, Namjoon sees you, holding a big stack of papers, from the corner. Shit. Instantly, he pulls the two members in front of him.

“Oh my God, it’s her.” He hides and whispers, even though you are out of ear reach.

Jungkook and Jimin look at the small moving figure, who is currently trying to move hair out of her face with her mouth. So that’s the girl who is clouding their leader’s mind. They watch you a few feet away from the elevator. As if they knew what the other was thinking, they exchange a mischievous look. Without warning, they forcefully drag their hyung forwards before he could process their actions.

Jesus. You whine to yourself. These papers are so fucking heavy. When you hear the ding of lift, you walk in and stretch your pinky to the ground floor button. You move to the back of the elevator, resting your back on the railing. You only have this job to do and you can finally go home. Smiling at the thought, you mindlessly look at your feet, oh and the large feet in front of you. Wait, what?

You look up in shock and meet eyes with your greatest fear. He gives you a nervous smile and you notice the two other attractive people on either side of him. Another fear of yours. (Not the biggest fear at hand but albeit still a fear). God. It’s like you were in a horror movie, where the ghosts were unfairly good looking. You feel your heart speeding. You scream inwardly when you see the idol opening his mouth.

Namjoon stutters and starts when he feels Jungkook hit his back, “Hello aga-”

He feels a gust of wind run past him.

You just sprinted out of the elevator.

As the doors close, the three turn around and watch you racing away. Gobsmacked. Before the doors fully shut, Namjoon is the only one that sees you trip, papers flying everywhere. He lets out a quiet gasp. The small room is silent.

“Well,” Jungkook quietly coughs out, “Maybe she does hate you...”

“You think she hates me?” The oldest pitifully questions and watches Jimin hit the youngest.

“No, don’t be stupid,” Jimin weakly persuades and gives an insincere smile, “She might just be nervous or something.”

Namjoon instantly frowns. She hates me.

‣

You lay face down on the floor, soaking up all the embarrassment of what just happened. Did you just fall? You? Over nothing? What in God’s name is happening to you? You look up and instantly wince. All the documents you organised, sorted and colour-coded are all messed up. There goes your early night.

Picking up the stray papers, you think to yourself: what the fuck is wrong with you? If you weren’t such a big pussy, your life would have been so much easier. You think about all of the time you would have saved if you just walked the quicker route, regardless of whether or not he was in the way. You think about all the plants you wouldn’t have hid behind to prevent his attention. You think about all the information you could’ve learned about your dream job if you didn’t reject the offers just because there was a slim chance of running into him.

At the end of the night, you have one question burning into your mind: why were you so scared of him?

‣

“You like him.” Daeun proclaims. You just told her about your most recent encounter with him.

You stare at the fellow intern in confusion, “What?”

“You have a big fat crush on him.” She repeats, taking a bite out of her lunch, “Just think about it, you said it yourself, your heart races when you see him... So you like him.”

“My heart races because I’m scared of him” You point out.

“No. You dumb bitch. Your heart races because you are nervous.”

Oh. Well, this was not what you were expecting when you asked your friend for advice. You have a crush on Namjoon?

“B-but I don’t know anything about him.” You argue, shaking your head.

“You don’t necessarily have to personally know him to crush on him,” she continues, “You find him attractive right?”

“W-well, yeah I guess so-”

“There you go. We’ve cracked it. You’re just horny for him.”

“The fuck? No, I’m not.” you push her and she laughs.

“I don’t blame you, he walks like he’s got a massive cock.”

You shriek and whack her in detest. She screams jokingly at the pain. When you two look around and notice people staring, you both can’t help but laugh hard.

At 9PM, you were laying in bed, thinking about your friend’s words and you couldn’t help but to be curious about him. Sure, you liked his music as much as the next person but you didn’t know much about Namjoon as a person. Since you just graduated from college, you didn’t have much time to spend on immersing yourself in the world of the BTS. Letting your curiosity get the better of you, you start doing research, telling yourself it’ll only take a few minutes.

After watching countless interviews and videos, you wonder how such a person could exist. He’s intelligent, loving, kind, gentle, passionate and- well you just go on for hours. You laugh a bit when you realise his only fault: he’s the biggest fucking klutz.

It hit you at 3AM when you finished watching his UNICEF speech with a big ass smile on your face.

Fuck, you totally have a crush on Namjoon.

a/n: hello! thank you for reading + i hope you’ve enjoyed. i’m also already in the process of writing the second part, if that is something you would like to see!

#bts fluff #bts angst #bts fanfic #namjoon fluff #namjoon scenarios #namjoon angst #rm fluff #rm angst #bts drabble

[chaos-and-recover]

I am married to someone with an intense, if only midsized, fanbase. Parasocial relationships have been a part of our lives since long before it was a buzzword. It is weirdly fascinating to us, but sometimes a bit frightening. Now that it is the buzzword of the hour, seeing it misattributed is one of our pet peeves. I have seen people claim any amount of interaction on the fan's end is "pick me" (although fan interaction is necessary for his job) or claim that him utilizing social media makes him more culpable for forcing parasocial relationships on the fans because of power imbalances. If he is obvious about promoting something, though, it doesn't go over well because audiences don't want to feel like their being advertised to. Parasocial relationships are sometimes hurtful and scary on our end. 1) There was a woman who had been following his career since the 90s, when he wasn't as well known. She would often send him letters, gifts. Within the past 5 years something changed. I don't know why, but she suddenly began to consider him a boyfriend of sorts. He had never responded to these letters. I discovered she had been catfishing me under my private, locked social media accounts under a fake name, pretending to be someone I knew from high school. He blocked her on all social media. She harassed his coworkers until they blocked her too. A friend of mine said she went on TikTok to brag about how overly sensitive celebrities will block if you call them out for not being better than regular people. Meanwhile, we got a letter from her last year begging for him to forgive whatever she did that offended him. 2) 15ish years ago, in a magazine interview, my husband states his fave color. 2 years ago, I was having lunch with a friend, without my husband. A younger woman approached the table. She asksnif my husband was around and I said that he wasn't. Immediately her tone and expression changed to something nasty. She asked if I would at least give him a painting she had done of him. It was all done in various shades of the same color. I commented on this and she sneered at me with; "It's his fave color." I am still trying to be polite at this point and casually go; "Oh is it?" and she ery rudely snaps that I am his wife and I don't know his fave color like SHE does, so I have had it and say, assertively that I've had enough and she needs to leave. I gave it to my husband and told him the encounter. He laughed about it and said that it wasn't his fave color anymore. I had never thought to ask about his fave color because it just didn't seem important to either of us. He had never asked mine. Her twitter handle was on the painting so I looked it up. Her and a few friends were discussing the incident, using my first and last initials and my husband's first. They were discussing how clearly they know him deeper than I do, that he must secretly hate me if his own wife doesn't understand him like she does, and she altered the story so that she had seen him there earlier so I was clearly lying and that she had timidly approached the table and I had screamed at her that the color was ugly. I don't watch his interviews unless he specifically asks me to, because this is like listening in on someone's work meeting. This has been misconstrued by "fans" that I don't support him. I absolutely do, 200%, probably more than they support their husband's jobs, but watching his interviews isnt how i support him. I support him in our home, in our phone calls, in other ways he appreciates in our personal lives. Parasocial relationships are absolutely fine, until people start to believe they aren't in one, or that it is somehow more substantial than personal relationships the celebrities have with their loved ones. They truly think that they can Sherlock Holmes someone enough to truly know them better than the ones who actually know them in real life. (Sorry if you got this multiple times. Tumblr said it didnt send my ask.)

(Same anon from before) What fans need to understand is that parasocial relationships are good. It is fine to be a fan of someone, support their career, analyze them and write fanfiction and draw fanart of them or their characters. This is how my husband keeps his job, this is completely normal fan behavior. It isnt bad for the sake of existing. But they need to be aware that it is parasocial. I think the problem doesn't lie with parasocial relationships so much as when those in the relationship aren't aware that it is parasocial. Those who are aware of it being parasocial aren't the ones claiming that I do not know my husband but that they do or sending him love letters thinking their in a relationship with him. Those who know it is parasocial know that there is a difference between him answering questions in an interview (after being coached by a professional on how to appear and how to speak, and going into it knowing 90% of the questions) and having a conversation when there aren't cameras around, behind closed door. There is a difference between remembering a list of favorite things and watching someone enjoy those things in the moment every day in person. You just HAVE to be aware that they ARE parasocial.

First of all I gotta say I'm SUPER curious who you are (obviously you don't have to tell me!)! I've heard and seen things like what you described happen in several different fandoms of varying popularity, and I'm sorry you have to deal with that. But you're 100% right, engaging in regular fandom behaviour is perfectly normal, even interacting with creators/actors/musicians/whoever on social media (or in person if you meet them). It's HOW you interact with them. You need to both have your own and respect their boundaries.

I'm a fan of a couple 80s/90s boybands, as you just... ARE as an elder millennial lmao, and I can understand how easy it is as a young teen to go too far and cross boundaries because you just don't have the life experience or really, emotional regulation to interact with your idols in a normal way. But I've seen that now carry on well into adulthood, the things grown-ass women TO THIS DAY say about the wives of some of these band members is shocking (maybe not to you though since you've lived it!). I've had several conversations where I've had to remind people that literally every interaction they've had with these people at official meet & greets and stuff, even to an extent their interactions on social media, it's like the famous-person equivalent of Customer Service Voice. They're working! Of course they're nice to you when you paid like $500 to talk to them for thirty seconds! It doesn't mean you're friends!

(Not shaming paid M&Gs, I've done them, I'd do them again, it's an opportunity my 13 year old self never thought she'd had but like... I'm not secretly dating a Backstreet Boy because I met them for five seconds, y'know?)

Anyway yeah... all this to say, you're right. Parasocial relationships are a natural part of fandom and they're FINE and GOOD you just gotta respect boundaries.

[lieutenantcharleslorem]

It is finished! This is a commission for @datalaur​! It was fun to go outside my comfort zone, since I do not actively ship Data/Geordi, but I hope I did it justice. 

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Trek: The Next Generation Rating: General Audiences Relationships: Data/Geordi La Forge Summary: The Enterprise is transporting some dignitaries, and one of them has the hots for Data. This inspires Geordi to say something he probably should've said a long time ago.

The Junior Minister was a plump woman. Certainly wide in appearance especially when standing next to Counselor Troi, but not unattractively so. Her short navy hair emphasized strength while drawing attention to her soft features and light eyes. And those eyes were so thoroughly and obviously fixed on Data, Geordi thought he could have seen it without his visor.

Having feelings for a dear friend was a strange thing, because part of Geordi wanted to tell Data to go for it; he deserved an alien fling once in a while just as much as anyone else on the crew. But of course, part of him wanted to tell the Junior Minister to take a hike.

“They’ll, uh… They’ll catch you staring, Sir. At least, someone always does me…” said Barclay, sitting down next to Geordi at the bar. He practically winced as he sat, not really knowing if he was welcome.

“No one ever accuses a blind man of staring, Reg.”

“But you are. St-staring, I mean… Aren’t you?”

“I’m having a drink, and looking in the general direction of our guests.”

“Yeah, he’s been staring at them for 20 minutes,” interjected Guinan. “But how you doing, Reg? You want some fruit punch?”

“I-Well, er, yes please.”

Geordi smiled, thinking for a moment that Guinan could make just about anyone feel at home, but his eyes never left Data and the Junior Minister.

While the Junior Minister sat with the officers in the middle of the room, fully immersing herself, the High Minister, a tall man whose dark blue hair was greying on the sides, stood at the end of Ten Forward having a muted conversation with the Captain and Commander Riker. * Ten Forward was fuller than Geordi had ever seen it. The Ministers had 6 other dignitaries with them, 2 lawyers, and 17 trackers which as far as the crew could tell meant some sort of assistant, and all 27 people were mingling jovially with Starfleet officers. Their people had been in the process of joining the Federation for 7 years and according to some gossip from one of the trackers, it was still a few years off.

“Though we’re a warp capable species with a one world government, it’s obvious the Federation disapproves of our bartering system,” one of the trackers had mentioned to Ensign Velor that morning. The ensign was meant to be leading each of them to their quarters; Geordi just happened to overhear the chatting.

The Enterprise was transporting them to some sort of negotiation and cultural exchange. No one really knew the details.

“Care to join us?” asked the Junior Minister, looking straight at Geordi. Her voice carried over the crowd with ease, without her yelling or disrupting the other sounds of the bar. It was a little unsettling, in fact.

“I told you,” Barclay whispered.

“Mmm, forgive me if I’m resistant to trust your assessment of social situations,” said Geordi lowly, while shooting the Junior Minister an apologetic smile. Barclay sank a little further inside himself. Geordi took a swig of his drink, left it on the bar, and stood to approach the group.

Halfway there, he said, “Come on, Reg.”

Barclay stood suddenly, smoothing his uniform. He started to follow but Guinan whispered, “Reggie, take your drink with you,” and pushed his glass toward him. He raised an eyebrow and she added, “Something to do with your hands.” He nodded and took his drink with him.

“Geordi La Forge is the Chief Engineer, of the Enterprise,” Data introduced him, adding, “He’s also my best friend.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. La Forge.”

“Right, I just wanted to apologize. I didn’t mean to leer. I was just, thinking about something. It’s an honor, Junior Minister.”

“Oh please, like I told your friend, call me Tuviece. And who is this?” asked the Junior Minister looking squarely at Reg. He tried and failed to look her in the eye.

“Is there something wrong with my face?” she asked. Counselor Troi opened her mouth to cut in, but Data beat her too it.

“Lieutenant Barclay interacts somewhat differently than other humans. He means no disrespect, just as I would not were I to do something considered socially unacceptable by your people.”

Tuviece smiled, eying Data. “You care very much your crewmates, hm?”

“I… They are my family,” said Data, not wishing to bog Tuviece down with a more technical explanation of how an android forms attachments.

Geordi and the Junior Minister melted. Deanna would have too, normally the first to call Data cute, but she had to take a subtle step back from the group instead, overwhelmed by Tuviece and Geordi’s internalized reactions. She blinked and fanned herself with her hand. She made eye contact momentarily with Barclay, and his eyes widened as he tried to figure out what the look on her face meant.

“That must be magical to be so close with your coworkers.”

“Magical?” asked Data, “I do not understand.”

“She just means good, Data,” said Geordi, “Very good.”

“Yes, it is a common expression in my language. When something feels so special it is as if it was caused by an impossible magical force.”

“O-ours too. Our language I mean,” said Barclay.

“Ah, so you can speak!” replied Tuviece.

“Do you have many relationships you would consider magical?” asked Data.

“Mm, no I suppose not… But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like one.”

The Junior Minister was a very passionate woman, and with her feelings, Geordi’s responses, and Barclay’s embarrassment, Deanna could only handle being in the conversation so long.

“I hate to run, but I think I’ll go check on the captain if you don’t mind,” said Troi.

“Oh, of course, dear,” she grabbed Deanna’s hand suddenly. “If I don’t see you again this evening, have a pleasant night. It was a pleasure to meet you.”

“Of course, a pleasure,” the counselor replied, moving away.

“Now, boys!” continued the Junior Minister, “Tell me what made each of you decide you wanted to serve on a starship?”

The night wound down gradually. The High Minister had already gone to bed, as had Reg, both admitting they needed some time alone. No one knew when the captain had disappeared, only that he was probably the first. The Junior Minister was afraid she wouldn’t be able to remember where her quarters were, so Data had offered to guide her.

“Such a gentleman,” she had called him.

Riker, Troi, La Forge, and Worf meandered slowly down the hall, heading for their own beds.

“Geordi, I’m sensing some discomfort,” said Troi.

“Hm? Oh, you know… big parties.”

“Oh, come on, you’re the life of the party,” said Riker with a smirk.

“I understand the feeling,” said Worf. “I too find parties exhausting.”

“Don’t Klingons have rather wild parties?” asked Riker.

“Our celebrations can be a bit much for humans, but the requirements of the socializing are different. Less pretense.”

“Sure,” said Troi, trying not to sound sarcastic.

“Though I will admit, even Klingon social events are sometimes tiring and disconcerting for me.”

“Well, everyone needs their space,” said Troi, “but that wasn’t the type of discomfort Geordi was feeling, was it Geordi?”

They stopped as they reached Geordi’s quarters. They formed a casual circle, Geordi’s back to his door. “… I didn’t ask for a group therapy session,” he said.

“If you need to share your feelings, Commander, we will listen without judgment,” said Worf.

The three of them turned their heads to look at Worf.

“What?” he asked. “Why do you stare?”

No one answered, and Worf huffed.

Troi cleared her throat, “I’m only worried that you’re sabotaging yourself again, Geordi.”

“Again?” La Forge replied incredulously. When he looked at the others, he realized they agreed with that assessment, and was suddenly quite self-conscious. “What is it exactly you think I’m doing on purpose?”

“Not on purpose,” said Riker, “But subconscious. Because of… well, hmm…”

“Out of fear,” finished Troi. “But there’s nothing to be afraid of—”

“Deanna—” interrupted Geordi, but Troi didn’t stop.

“I don’t think honesty will hurt you in this situation.”

“Yes,” Worf cut in, “do not dishonor yourself with lies.”

Geordi raised an eyebrow at Worf, wondering why he cared about this.

“It’s not fear… It’s… I just don’t know if it’s fair to put that kind of pressure on him.”

“I don’t know, I think our android friend is pretty good at taking things in stride,” said Riker with a smirk.

“I just don’t know if he is in a position to be made to make those kinds of decisions.”

 “Well what if something happened with the Junior Minister?” asked Troi.

“That’s different… She’ll be gone soon enough. There’s no long-term decision to be made.”

“Listen, I know Data is a little awkward when it comes to dating but—”

“Is that what we’re talking about?” asked Worf. “Commander La Forge having a romantic interest in Data?”

“Oh Worf…” said Deanna. Riker started laughing. La Forge delicately lifted his visor from his face so that he could rub the bridge of his nose.

Replacing it, he said, “It’s like a teenager. They think they know what they want. And when it comes down to it, you can’t stop them from having their own experiences, but… but you can’t expect…”

Geordi drifted off and there was a pause as they all let his point sink in.

“La Forge, if I may?” asked Worf.

“What is it, Worf?” asked Geordi, trying not to sound exasperated.

“Now that I understand the premise of this conversation, am I to infer that you are insinuating Commander Data should be deemed incapable of giving consent?”

“I… well not in so many words—”

“Because from what I know of Data, though he wishes to be a part of humanity, he also values his autonomy, and I believe he would be offended by a denial of his right to make his own choices.”

Worf’s surprisingly aware statement rattled around in Geordi’s head the rest of the evening. He was right. It was up to Data to make his own choices. That didn’t mean Geordi would automatically get whatever he wanted, but not everything was about him.

Data helped him with some maintenance in engineering for most of the next day. Reg was in and out providing assistance. The Junior Minister came around to observe. Normally La Forge didn’t appreciate outsiders sticking their nose in his warp core, but the maintenance wasn’t urgent, and Tuviece asked questions with a friendly curiosity that showed she didn’t mean to get in the way. Plus since Data didn’t mentally tire, or struggle with how to answer a technical question, he was happy to entertain all of her inquiries. Sometimes Reg would translate to layman’s terms when he got the courage.

Around midday Tuviece asked if they ever took breaks.

“Ha! Sometimes. But oh so rarely,” Geordi had joked from his place on the floor.

“ I was so hoping to have a spot of lunch with you…” She said it like she meant all three of them, but she looked at Data out of the corner of her eye. Geordi figured he shouldn’t third-wheel, so he made up some excuse about not leaving this panel open.

Data immediately began explaining that he neither requires breaks or food, and Geordi could almost hear the disappointment on her breath.

“Well then… What about you, Reginald? Care to join me?”

“Me?” he asked.

“Of course. I promise you don’t have to look me in the eye if you don’t want to.”

Reg let out a half laugh, and led her back to Ten Forward.

“Data, you eat sometimes,” La Forge said once they were gone.

“Yes, but I do not need to.”

“…Buddy, are you blowing off Tuviece on purpose?”

“Blowing her off? You mean to avoid? No. Should I have gone to lunch with her?”

“Only if you wanted to.”

“I… I have no specific desire. No desire to stay or to go.”

“Oh.”

Geordi knew he should talk to him, but he also knew he wouldn’t be able to focus on work afterward.

Reg and Tuviece returned after about an hour. It wasn’t their fault, but by the end of the day Geordi was sick of them both. Or maybe it was of Data being oblivious.

When Tuviece asked if someone might walk her back to her quarters, Data volunteered Reg for the job. Geordi raised his brows and mouthed why at him but Data only looked confused in return.

After Reg and Tuviece had disappeared, Data and Geordi chatted idly as they made their way toward Data’s quarters.

“Data, what’s the matter? You don’t like the Junior Minister?”

“I like her very much. She is fascinating.”

“Then why’d you send Reg to walk her back to her quarters?”

“His quarters are closer to hers.”

“Sure, I guess that’s logical.”

“Have I turned down another invitation, Geordi?”

“Well… Yeah, actually.”

“But why would she prefer me to walk with her?”

“Data…” whispered Geordi as they came up to the door to Data’s quarters. He turned and leaned against the bulkhead, crossing his arms and pulling up a leg to press his foot into the metal behind him.

Data came close, anticipating Geordi continuing to speak quietly.

“She likes you, Data.”

“And I like her too, but—”

“No, she’s interested in you. Romantically.”

“Oh.”

“And if you don’t want to engage with her in that way, that’s obviously up to you. But I just thought you should know so that you have the choice.”

“Oh,” Data repeated.

“I mean, because I have feelings for you too,” Geordi blurted out before he could lose his nerve. “And you don’t have to acknowledge that either. But I just wanted you to know all your options, because if you don’t know—”

“Do you believe I have offended the Junior Minister?”

“Oh… I… maybe a little, but not detrimentally so.”

“So you do not think that I should interact with her on a romantic level in order to maintain diplomacy?”

“Oh, no, Data she’s not going to be angry if you don’t like her. Only go for it if you want to. It’s about what you want.”

“I see no reason to. I’ve already attempted to have a relationship once and it failed.”

“You—Data, that was like three days.”

“It was nine.”

“Okay, but Data, that’s not how it works. Relationships aren’t pass or fail, and you’re supposed to keep trying until you find the right fit for you. I mean, that is, unless you don’t want to.”

“Would explaining this to me require lying about having these types of feelings for me?”

“Lying? I wasn’t lying.”

“Then why would you choose now to tell me?”

“When do you think the best time would have been?”

“Whenever it first became true, which I’m assuming wasn’t during this conversation.”

“Well… that’s easier said than done, Data.”

“Why, if you have these feelings, would you push me toward someone else?”

“I’m not pushing you. I just wanted you to know the opportunities. I just want you to be—” he almost said happy but stopped himself. “Satisfied,” he finished, “I want you to have what you want.”

“I like challenges, but most humans I have observed seem to enjoy relationships more when they are less challenging. A familiarity seems to help in anticipating and preventing challenges. I would also personally prefer a relationship that lasted a significant amount of time, as I haven’t experienced that yet. And since I don’t have a sex drive, there’s nothing pulling me toward the momentary interlude I would have with Junior Minister Tuviece.”

“I see.”

Geordi was so resistant to getting his hopes up that he almost looked sad, and Data put a hand on his shoulder with a look of concern.

“So, you are the obvious choice,” said Data.

“Excuse me?”

“You are the obvious choice for me to be in a relationship with.”

“But you can choose no one. You don’t have to be in a relationship.”

“I’m… unsure why you keep repeating the same point. But you have presented me with an opportunity and I am taking it. Unless you are taking back what you have said.”

“No! No, I’m not taking it back.”

“Excellent,” Data said moving forward and kissing Geordi with little grace.

“Data, Data,” mumbled Geordi, “You’re pressing on my visor.”

“I apologize.”

“Maybe we should go inside.”

“Your quarters are more comfortable,” said Data.

“You’re incapable of physical discomfort.”

“I would like you to be comfortable.”

“If you insist,” Geordi said pushing off the bulkhead and starting off for his own quarters.

“Geordi?” Data asked.

“Yes, Data?”

“There are several things that, due to my lack of time in relationships, I have yet to experience… that I would like to.”

“Let’s… let’s wait until we get into my quarters, and then… you can tell me all about them.”

 As this particular mission came to an end the captain, his chief engineer, his first officer, his second officer, and… Reg, walked with their multitude of guests to transporter room 1.

“It was a pleasure meeting you, High Minister Bieve,” said the Captain Picard.

“The feeling is mutual, Captain,” he replied as he joined several others on the transporter pad. One of the trackers blew Riker a kiss, and then the group was gone.

The Junior Minister was the last to leave, and as she turned back toward them on the transporter pad, she told them how much she’d enjoyed spending time with all of them.

Just before she disappeared, she said, “I’ll write to you, Reginald,” and winked.

Reg blushed.

“Barclay!” said Geordi once she was gone, “Did you—?”

“It’s none of your business,” he replied without missing a beat.

“Reg!” Geordi shouted, clapping him on the back.

Speaking for the first time, Riker said, “I guess everybody got laid this weekend.”

The Captain pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, but admittedly, he did it with a smile.

#star trek #tng #the next generation #data/geordi #daforge

[dukeofonions]

How do you feel about the upload schedule for sanders sides? It’s been 10 months since the last proper episode. Also, I read a post on another blog about how they feel him hiring his friends leads to a slower production process due to messing around. Thoughts on that? Also also, do you think that since YT is his job, he should upload more? these are things I am thinking of tonight.

Not to worry anon, these are things I think about a lot because I have nothing better to do with my life. 

Seeing as I joined the fandom shortly after Can Lying Be Good? came out, the longest my first wait for a new episode wasn’t that long actually. The video came out in February but I didn’t see it until early March. The next episode Logic vs Passion, came out in April. So it didn’t bother me much. And right after that we got Crofters: The Musical so I was on the hype train and fully invested. 

Then we didn’t get another episode until October which left me a bit antsy, but I was still excited anyway and didn’t mind the wait. Embarrassing Phases then came out that December. So we got two videos within a fairly short time span. 

SVS Part 1 came out that next year in March, again, bit of a wait, but it’s becoming standard now that we get a couple of new episodes every few months. No biggie. We get Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts in June, Asides in November... This newest one just came out now in May... 

Yeah, if we hadn’t been given that Asides, we would have had almost a year-long wait for this next episode. And we did have a year-long wait for the follow up to a video that honestly, kinda made me think “Why do we still care about this? I’m not really invested in the “Wedding or callback” dilemma anymore” which, when you’re trying to tell a story using this medium, the last thing you want is your audience to lose interest in something that’s meant to be this big of an event within the series. 

And what do all these videos have in common? Each one uses some kind of gimmick. CLBG and SVS had them filming in different locations, Logic vs Passion, LNTAO, and POF involved them using different mediums to tell the story (animations and puppets) Crofters and DWIT both had music in them, and Embarrassing Phases had the costumes. 

Before that, the videos were all fairly simple. Maybe a few gimmicks here and there, but none of them went to the same level as these other ones. 

Basically, what’s happening here is that with each new episode, the team is trying to bring something new to the table each time, and their solution is to use a different gimmick. Which, in theory, is fine. But I honestly believe these are doing more harm than good. For one thing, not everyone is a fan of these gimmicks and while sometimes they can be used to benefit the story, other times they just take over and the writing suffers for it. 

The main reason (as far as we know) that this newest episode in particular took so long was because of the video game animations they wanted to use, but after watching the video besides a few instances, they really weren’t necessary to have. 

And I plan to make a whole other post on this topic so I’ll leave it there for now. In regards to Thomas hiring more of his friends to work on episodes? Again, it’s good in theory, but I for one have noticed a certain change in the episodes since they brought on more writers, which officially started with Embarrassing Phases where Thomas said in the live stream following it that it was the first episode he really didn’t work on and it shows (but more on that in another post) I do think the other writers are talented people, but maybe all of them shouldn’t be working on Sanders Sides. 

Each one is gonna have their own preferences for each character and ideas that may clash, and if these were simply coworkers, it wouldn’t be as much of a problem shutting down ideas that go too far. But when they’re literally all your friends, you have that connection to them and you don’t want them hurt, which can make saying “No” to certain things much harder. I’m not sure exactly how the writing team gets along so I can only speculate based on what I’ve learned from live streams. 

As for their inclusion making the production for videos longer, I can also understand that seeing as you’re more inclined to goof off with people you’re close and comfortable with, especially when you’re not in a professional setting. Which, in Thomas’ case, he’s usually at home with his friends around. This automatically makes things more casual and one would feel more relaxed and not worry too much about being serious. Which, when you’re trying to get things done, can be a problem.

I’m gonna briefly use my own workplace as an example: I work in fast food, and all of my coworkers get along really well. We like to joke around and have fun, especially when we’re slow. But as soon as things start picking up it’s like a switch is flipped and we go from “Fun mode” to “work mode” just like that. Sure, we might continue to quip and joke with each other. But we never let it take precedence over the work that needs to be done. Some of our coworkers, don’t understand this. And when the rest of us are trying to work, they’re still goofing off. And in fast food, if just one person isn’t doing their job, it can bring everything crashing down. We have customers waiting in line for almost ten minutes, they get angry, they get mad at us, even if it’s just because of one person not doing their job. But we don’t have time to argue. We accept their complaints and do our best to fix the issue and get things moving again. 

Obviously, what Thomas does is very different from working in fast food, but Youtube is still his job. Logan puts it best in LNTAO, “Thomas made a commitment to regularly sharing content. He must be held accountable.” 

Now in fast food, we are most definitely held accountable by the customers if their food isn’t delivered in a timely manner or isn’t made to their liking, and we as the providers of said product, have to heed their words and make the product to their liking in order to ensure their satisfied. If they’re not satisfied, they won’t want to pay. Simple as that. 

Thomas, on the other hand, is never held accountable by his fanbase. Now I’m not saying it’s a bad thing for him to have such a supportive fandom, heck I wish the customers I had to deal with on a regular basis were as understanding. But honestly, the way the majority of this fandom blindly follows Thomas and holds him on this golden pedestal is... 

Kinda creepy... 

He is surrounded by constant praise, hardly any criticism, and I believe that’s why we hardly get content from him. 

Quick note, I understand that part of why this video in particular was delayed due to the pandemic and I respect their decision to not put themselves or anyone else at unnecessary risk for the sake of a Youtube video.  However, plenty of Youtubers are still making and posting regular content on their channels despite this. To me, the main issue with Thomas’ content as of late is that he tries to put too much into what should be simple things. I understand wanting to give your audience the very best, but honestly, in my opinion, his newer content isn’t as good as the older stuff. It all had just such a simple, wholesome charm to it, that’s now been replaced with a fancier production and flashy editing. Not only that, they tend to start way too many projects at once, which result in never getting done.

You guys remember when they said they’d be bringing back Story Time Madlibs? That was last year, and the most recent thing we’ve heard about it is that they want to add more to it by including animations made by different people! Which will only increase the amount of time it will take to make what should have been a simple video that shouldn’t have taken more than a couple of weeks to film, edit, then post. 

I’m not saying they shouldn’t try new things, but they’ve been trying to do so much that we end up getting nothing, and the fandom just seems okay with this. 

At the end of the day though, this is just one opinion from a random faceless, nameless person sitting behind a computer screen. I doubt anyone on Thomas’ team will see it. I doubt a majority of the fandom would agree with any of it. But with more people starting to voice their opinions, it’s only a matter of time before it becomes too much of a thing to ignore. And if it becomes apparent that there’s a group in the fandom that is being ignored, that’s definitely going to cause problems.

Because in short if someone is out there, producing content for people, and they have complaints about it, then if those complaints are legitimate and can be fixed, then I believe it is the responsibility of that person to consider what they are saying and do their best to heed their words. If no one is ever criticized, then how will they ever improve? Criticism is not a bad thing. And once people get that out of their heads I think things will go much smoother for this fandom. But honestly, that’s just wishful thinking at this point. Sorry this answer got so long, I really should have just made a whole other post about this. XD

#fandom criticism #ts unpopular opinons #creator gripes #dukeofonions

[argylemnwrites]

Change of Plans - Part 1

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)

Book: The Royal Romance (An It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment universe AU, set nearly 3 years after that epilogue)

Word Count: ~3000

Rating: PG-13 (just some adult language)

Summary: Living in NYC in March 2020 is redefining normal for Drake and Riley. Life doesn’t always go according to plan during a pandemic, after all.

Author’s Note: Ummmm, I tried to avoid writing this. I really did. But as I was sitting down to do some detailed outlines for the It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment sequel, all my brain kept wanting to explore was COVID-19 content in that universe. At first, I just bullet pointed some head canons, hoping that would be enough to scratch the itch. But it wasn’t. The fact of the matter is if you’ve read anything I’ve written, you know I’m all about grounding the Choices characters and stories in the real world to a certain degree. So to write an AU where Drake and Riley live in New York City and not address the horrible crisis that city is facing just didn’t feel true to me as a writer.

That being said, I understand fanfic is often an escape from the real world. I understand that addressing the current pandemic at all might not be your thing, even though I don’t take it to any truly sad or tragic places. So, no worries, this is an AU inside my AU. This will not be an “official” part of the sequel. It’s its own little two-part piece that inches a bit more firmly into the real world than the actual sequel, Why Are We Still Waiting?.

So, tagging all my usual It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment taglists, but no hard feelings if this is just a little too real. I will mention that this does hint at or reference some events from the prologue and the first couple of chapters of Why Are We Still Waiting?, but it does not spoil the core content of the story. Plus, to be fair, it’s not like I write things with big plot twists really. Much like It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment was essentially a Drake character study, Why Are We Still Waiting? is a Riley Liu character study, and I’m not really sure you even can spoil those.

Alright, I’ve rambled in this AN for far too long already. In case you skimmed and missed it, Trigger warning for coronavirus discussions.

Drake glanced up from his laptop as he heard the locks click on the apartment door, Riley and Anderson walking through a few seconds later. Riley unclasped Anderson’s leash and hung it on the hooks Drake had installed, followed by her coat and her keys, before sliding off her shoes and going straight into the kitchen to wash her hands. The space next to their door had become their “dirty zone.” For now, they weren’t changing all their clothing when they got back inside, but Drake was thinking that doing so should probably be their next step.

Taking Anderson out was now basically the only time either one of them left the apartment. With Riley being furloughed from her PR firm on Friday and Drake working from home for all of last week, there really wasn’t any other reason to do so. At the moment, they were doing okay for food and whatnot, but Drake was not looking forward to having to deal with that in the upcoming weeks. He wasn’t sure whether they should switch to just getting delivery that they could safely reheat, but exposing themselves to a new driver every couple of days, or if they should risk making a trip to Foodtown and stocking up for a few weeks just once. Deep down, he knew the latter was the better option, but neither of them had been to a bodega or grocery store in the past week, and he was kind of dreading it now that more people were starting to take this seriously since the schools were closed. Maybe he could pull out the box of five masks he’d bought when he was sanding down and repainting the dresser and see if he had one left for each of them.

For the past four days, with both of them with nowhere to be, they’d alternated who was leaving the relative safety of their apartment to get a little fresh air with the dog. Even before that, Riley was just going to work and coming straight home, and she’d been riding an old bicycle she bought from a coworker to avoid the subway. But now, she had nowhere to be and neither did he. On her first day at home, Drake had been reluctant to have Riley go out at all now that she didn’t need to do so. He’d seen the news stories about the hate crimes popping up against Asian Americans, and it seemed like an unnecessary risk. But he knew that he wasn’t going to be able to convince her to essentially become a shut in while he left the apartment a couple of times every day to walk Anderson. Plus, as she had pointed out, she was still in her 20s and wasn’t a former smoker, so by all accounts, she was medically a lower risk than him. Still, he got nervous every time she left and always felt a little better when she came back.

Overall, Drake knew things could be a lot worse for the two of them. Because of his conversations with Liam, he’d been slowly stocking up on nonperishables for the past month or so. He had not only a permanent job, but one with a law firm that allowed him to work from home. They had a one bedroom, not a studio, so Riley didn’t have to stay silent during his Zoom meetings with his boss or team. But losing Riley’s salary was certainly not great for them. They’d be okay for at least the next month, but going forward, things might get a little tight. Not only that, but Riley was clearly going stir crazy already, with no one to see and nothing to do. Well, nothing to do except send emails and make calls to Texas to postpone their wedding.

In the grand scheme of things, Drake knew that postponing a wedding was a minor loss. In fact, if that was the worst loss that they suffered at the end of all this, they would be very fortunate. And now that the president had banned travel from Europe, there was little chance of the majority of their already small guest list being able to make it. But it still sucked, particularly since they’d already had to postpone last year. 

He and Riley had talked about it last week, after the travel ban came down. Even though the wedding was seven weeks away, it had just seemed like the smart call to start cancelling things now instead of waiting until the last minute. The original plan had been for him to make the needed calls and whatnot since he was working from home, but since Riley now had infinite free time, she’d contacted everyone except his mother and aunt, who he had called over the weekend. His mother had been confused at first, saying she didn’t understand why they needed to postpone already and that she was sure it will have all “blown over” by May. Aunt Leona, on the other hand, had seemed pleased by the decision, telling him she was glad he wasn’t bringing that “Chinese virus” down to them from New York. Drake wasn’t sure whose response was more infuriating.

As Riley flopped down on the couch next to him, she let out a loud sigh. When he’d been working out of their apartment and she’d still been going into the office, they’d tried to maintain some distance at home. It had been pretty difficult, though. Although this place was way bigger than her old studio, they still just had the one bathroom, and obviously they were still sleeping in the same bed. Drake had known it had probably been smart of them to spread out as best they could, but he was kind of relieved when Riley had just curled up next to him on the couch this weekend, saying that it was stupid to try and pretend that they were even coming close to effectively socially distancing from one another. Plus, now that she wasn’t going into work, they basically carried the same risk of exposure. 

Although she was sitting next to him now, she didn’t make any move to actually touch him. Sensing she wanted to talk about something, he moved his laptop from his knees to the coffee table in front of them. Sure enough, her head landed in his lap not even a full minute later. This had become her habit over the years, to lay down on the couch and put her head across his lap whenever there was something she wanted to talk to him about, usually something serious that she didn’t want to deal with but knew they needed to deal with together.

“So, everything’s pushed back to November 7th,” she said after a couple of moments of silence, “We had to put down another deposit with the florist who was a real asshole about it, but the band, the photographer, and the caterers were really accommodating.” Her fingers traced random patterns across his forearm as she spoke, but her eyes remained closed, almost as if she couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eye and see their shared disappointment reflected there.

“Thanks, Liu. I’ll call Mom tomorrow and let her know.” 

“I did try for October, but the caterers and the florist didn’t have any availability.”

“November’s fine. If the weather’s shitty, we can just have the ceremony inside the barn and the reception in the house. Our guest list is tiny, anyway.”

His statement hung there in the air. There was kind of this unspoken agreement between the two of them to just be matter of fact about postponing. It was a global pandemic. It had to happen. Being upset about it wasn’t going to make things any better. But sometimes, it just hurt, thinking about all their planning and excitement that was just on hold again. The scattered pieces of wedding favors and leftover invitations and the planning binder that Hana had started for them that were visible in every corner of the apartment didn’t help either. They were now mixed in with stacks of dog food, rice, and paper towels, a grim blend of the future they wanted with their new reality.

They didn’t even have any place to tuck the wedding crap out of sight at this point, as their closets and cupboards were filled to the brim with extra supplies. But without a car, Drake had just wanted to make sure they could minimize trips out if… no, when shit really hit the fan. And it’s not like they had that much storage space in their apartment anyway. But now they would have to live with constant reminders that they couldn’t get married and their lives were essentially on hold. 

He at least still had work to distract himself with. Now that Riley had cancelled everything, she really didn’t have anything she could focus on to distract herself. He just felt bad for her. “I’m sorry, Liu.”

“For what? None of this is your fault,” Riley said, her eyes popping open and gazing up at him, her hand continuing to trace patterns across the skin of his arm.

Drake sighed, dropping his head to the back of the couch and staring up at the ceiling. “I guess I feel guilty that I didn’t get us to Cordonia when I could.” He had been contemplating calling Savannah or Maxwell and seeing if they could come stay with them for a while. Leave the crazy population density that was New York City. Staying at the palace would mean bad optics for Liam, but he figured at least two of the three adults at Ramsford would probably be okay with hosting him and Riley and Anderson. But while he’d been weighing their options with Riley, Liam had closed all flights into Cordonia except for citizens returning home. Since Riley had never become a Cordonian citizen, they were out of luck. Drake knew that if he asked Liam, he would grant Riley some sort of royal exception, but he wasn’t going to put Liam in that position. The last thing Liam needed on his plate was making an accommodation for Riley.

Drake felt Riley’s head leave his lap, and soon her hands were on his shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. “Drake, we both were unsure if it was the right call.” 

He just shook his head. She could have had Maxwell to spend time with while he worked. Anderson could have gone on walks safely across the grounds and vineyards. But he hadn’t been decisive enough and now it was too late. “I should have seen the writing on the wall.”

“Look at me.” Her voice was firm and carried enough of an edge that Drake complied, tipping his head back to find Riley kneeling next to him on their couch, staring at him with eyes that were somehow intense and sympathetic simultaneously. “We both were concerned about flying right now. We both were unsure about being in a house with both a baby and a toddler and possibly bringing the infection to them. We both wanted to wait to see what would happen. I don’t know why you insist on taking the blame here when we both weren’t sure if heading to Cordonia was the right call.”

“I just wish there was a way to protect you from this.”

She shook her head, “You think I don’t want that, too?”

“I know, Liu. I just feel like…” he trailed off, unable to finish his thoughts. He could have never imagined a situation where he couldn’t take care of her. Keep her safe. But there was nothing he could do about any of this. It just made him feel so powerless.

“Me too, Drake,” she said, tilting her head and sliding her hand down his arm and twining their fingers together. “But nothing else to do but ride this out. Well, that and hope we don’t drive each other too crazy over the upcoming weeks,” she added with a little chuckle. “What time do you think you’ll finish up today?”

“I dunno,” Drake said with a shrug. Since he was a naturally early riser, he’d been getting up and started on his files for the day hours before Riley was waking up, trying to get his work done by mid afternoon most days so that she didn’t feel banished to the bedroom too much. He knew she felt like a distraction to him when he was working, and though he didn’t want to admit it, she kind of was. “By 3:30, I’d guess.”

“Okay,” she replied, letting go of his hand and bouncing off the couch. “I guess it’s time for me to read up on my insurance options. I’ve been putting this off, but it’s probably better to sign up sooner rather than later.”

Drake frowned as she rounded the corner and went down the little hallway to their bedroom. He’d not thought about the fact that her being furloughed might impact her health insurance. He probably should have. Getting way better health insurance when he’d gotten hired as a permanent employee had been a big deal, after all. This employment-connected health insurance thing still just felt strange to him, though.

A thought occurred to him. He minimized the folder of digital files he was reviewing and cataloguing, pulling up instead a search engine. He landed on the city clerk’s website a couple of minutes later, scanning over the requirements, then checking the time. This could work.

“Hey, Liu!” he called out, striding over to the bedroom. Her laptop was in front of her as she lounged on her stomach, Anderson curled up right next to her. She glanced up as he reached the doorway.

“What’s up?”

“Let’s get married.”

She blinked a couple of times and pulled her head back slightly as she cocked it to the side, “Uhh, sounds good, but that was kind of already the plan.” She waved her left hand in the air, his grandmother’s ring catching the light intermittently. “I mean, I’m glad you still want to and everything, but seeing as I did just spend the whole morning rescheduling our entire wedding, I would have been pretty pissed at you if you changed your mind.”

Drake shook his head and rolled his eyes. “No, let’s get married tomorrow.”

Riley’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. We can go down to the city clerk’s office now and get our marriage license so we can get married tomorrow.”

“Where is this coming from?”

Drake walked over and sat down on the bed next to her, pointing toward her laptop. “You were going to go on my health insurance after the wedding anyway, right? So let’s do that now instead of having to pay for shitty coverage for you.”

She gave him a gentle little smile, closing her laptop and sliding up onto her knees next to him. She placed one hand between his shoulder blades, rubbing gentle circles before she spoke.

“You are a very sweet marshmallow of a man, you really are. But I know you. And I don’t want you to feel like we have to rush to do this now. We’ll be fine if we wait for the lovely wedding we planned down on the ranch with all of our friends there.”

He shook his head, “I want to do this. The question is, do you?”

“You don’t actually want to do this.”

“Of course I want to do this! You think I give a shit about who’s there or what we wear or if we have the right flowers or what we have for dinner?”

“Yeah, I do. Drake, you may not be much for pomp and glitz, but this wedding that we’ve been planning for years now? I think it matters to you. I think you want Liam and Maxwell and Hana and your mother and sister and niece and nephew there. I think you want to hear our friends toast us and to see Maxwell make a fool of himself on the dance floor and to have Bartie be the ring bearer and that’s okay. It’s okay to want to celebrate with everyone. We can wait until we can do that. This doesn’t have to just be a... logistical arrangement.”

Drake paused for a moment. She wasn’t wrong, exactly. Those were things he wanted. But right now, they seemed like little, insignificant details. 

“Look, Liu. You’re right. The thing that prompted me to think about marrying you right now was the practical reasons. But as everything becomes a total shit show, I just feel like the only protection I can offer you is this one. And in an ideal world - sure, I would want the nice little wedding we planned in Texas. But the world has changed a whole fucking lot in the past couple weeks, and nothing is exactly ideal anymore. And if my choices are waiting almost eight months to have the wedding we planned or to marry you tomorrow, I pick marrying you tomorrow. Because, yeah a wedding down on the ranch with our friends sounds great, but the whole point of that wedding is that I get to be your husband. And that’s all I really want.”

She gave him a warm smile and kissed him deeply, sliding her hand up his back and threading her fingers through his hair as his hands fell to her hips. After a few moments, she pulled back.

“So, you aren’t going to look back with regret and feel like we rushed things?”

“I’ve been ready to marry you for years. This doesn’t feel like we’re rushing. It feels like it’s about damn time. At least for me.”

Riley nodded, glancing down. Drake followed her gaze to her left hand, resting gently on her knees.

“It’s not a rush for me either.”

“So, what are you thinking? Should we get married tomorrow?” Drake asked, grabbing her hand in his, staring at her downturned face for a few seconds before she looked up and met his gaze.

“Yeah,” she said, a wide grin sliding onto her face, “Let’s fucking do this.”

Permatag: @ravenpuff02 @octobereighth @drakewalker04 @kimmiedoo5 @speedyoperarascalparty @mfackenthal @lilyofchoices @thequeenofcronuts @jamesashtonisbae

The Royal Romance/The Royal Heir: @kingliam2019 @sirbeepsalot @texaskitten30 @princessleac1 @ladyangel70 @dcbbw @yaushie

Drake x MC only: @jovialyouthmusic @iplaydrake @gibbles82 @drakewalkerisreal @riley--walker @notoriouscs @butindeed @addictedtodrakefanfic @drakesensworld  

It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment: @wickedgypsymoon @thesumofmychoices @cosigottahavefaith @thequeenchoices @katedrakeohd @feartheendlesssummer @ao719 @ooo-barff-ooo @sunnyxdazed​  

#drake walker #drake x mc #trr fanfic #trr au #trr au fanfic #tw: coronavirus

[set-phasers-to-whump]

such wow. many normal. very oops.

Prompt: accidents

Whumpee: Kyle Valenti

Fandom: Roswell New Mexico

hello i had a real good time writing this fic and i actually don’t hate it for once!! i hope you like it too!! also please don’t think too much about like plot and stuff who hit him is Not Important we don’t care lol

The car came out of nowhere. One second, Kyle was jogging across the basically-deserted street on his way home from an errand, and the next, he was on top of the hood of a car, then rolling over it, and then on the ground.

He laid there for a moment, stunned, not thinking. Did I just get hit by a car? he wondered, finally. 

A painful stinging across his hands and knees and a general terrible aching across his entire body answered that question well enough. But before he could dwell too much on the extent of the pain that his body was in, Kyle remembered that he was still in the middle of the street, which was not a good place to be.

He slowly pushed himself up, wincing when his scraped-raw hands made contact with the asphalt. Very carefully and very shakily, he stood up, keeping his legs slightly bent in an effort to minimize the pain that his knees were experiencing. 

Kyle staggered his way over to the curb, limping heavily, curling one arm around his chest when a sharp twinge told him he’d, at the very least, bruised his ribs. He sank down heavily onto the curb, body trembling with the effort of walking, and took as deep a breath as his hurting ribs would allow. 

He then took a second to professionally take stock of his injuries. His head ached, and he felt blood dripping down his forehead from a stinging gash, but he was pretty sure he didn’t have a concussion. His ribs hurt like hell, and his entire torso felt...well, like he’d been hit by a car. Which, obviously, he had. But he didn’t feel any blood, nor any signs that he might have been bleeding internally.

Deeming the pain in his torso nothing that couldn’t be dealt with, he moved on to his hands, which had been scraped bloody and raw from his fall to the ground. They hurt to move, which was unfortunate, but in the end, they were only scrapes, and not too worrying. His knees had fared similarly, though he was pretty sure they’d slammed into the car far harder than his hands had, when he’d thrown himself onto the hood to avoid being flattened. They ached in a way he imagined old peoples’ knees ached, and they were fairly torn up from hitting the road, the blood clearly visible through the now-also-torn knees of his jeans. 

Could have been worse, was Kyle’s final judgement. Nothing worth going to the hospital over, he decided, additionally, grateful that there wasn’t anyone around on the street to make that decision for him. 

With his mind made up that he would be fine, Kyle figured there was no use sitting around on the ground anymore, so he again slowly pushed himself up, wincing as small bits of gravel caught in his bloody palms, swaying slightly on his feet as a rush of lightheadedness came over him momentarily. 

After his head cleared, Kyle stepped up onto the sidewalk, curling his arm back around his ribs and setting off at a very slow limp for home. 

He made it through his front door perhaps twenty minutes later, though ordinarily he would have been home in half the time. He’d had to stop three times to catch his breath and practically force his body to keep moving, and he was absolutely exhausted by the time he was closing the door. 

He leaned against the wood for a moment, waiting for the pain in his...everywhere...to die down to an acceptable level. Which it did, eventually, and he celebrated that fact by stumbling off to the bathroom, where a large supply of first-aid items and pain medicine awaited.

In the bathroom, Kyle stopped for a moment to lean against the counter, not wanting to sit down before he grabbed everything he needed. He took a few steadying, though not deep, breaths, then opened his cabinets and selected everything he thought he might need. 

Finally allowing himself to sit down on the lid of the toilet, Kyle got to work, a process ordinarily just as easily said as done, but currently, one a great deal more difficult than it should have been, owing to the fact that his hands stung every time he used them. 

But there was nothing for it, so Kyle simply opened up a bottle of ibuprofen, took the maximum dose, and forced his hands to work. 

He started out with his knees, carefully swabbing them out with a cotton ball dipped in hydrogen peroxide. It stung not only on his knees, but on his hands as well, and he nearly dropped the ball on the ground when a particularly large cut on his hand got the liquid in it. 

Still, it wasn’t that bad, he knew. Skinned knees were something easily handled by a child, never mind a surgeon. So he gritted his teeth and dealt with it, not bothering to apply bandages because he knew they would just come back off. 

Following this, Kyle carefully unbuttoned and removed his shirt. As expected, the area around his ribs was starting to bruise a lovely shade of purple, and there were several other bruises forming across his stomach and arms, and probably his back as well, if the pain there was anything to go by. But there wasn’t anything Kyle could do for these injuries, except wait for them to heal. So he moved on to his hands, which had already been slightly cleaned in the process of cleaning his knees. 

He swept away as much dirt and gravel as he could, knowing that he probably should have used a pair of tweezers but sure he’d be unable to operate them with the scraped-up condition of his fingers. He did bandage these injuries, as best as he could, regretting the action almost immediately when he realized he still had to work on his head with his hands’ now even more limited mobility.

He was also going to need to stand up, he realized, which he really hadn’t wanted to do. But, he reflected, he was going to have to get up at some point anyway, so it might as well be now. 

He pushed himself up, bracing a hand on the counter, a sensation which felt partly bad, because of the pain, but partly good, because of the cool sensation of the granite under his hands. That’s what I need, he decided. To lie down in the cold and let it freeze everything away. 

Unfortunately, that was not very realistic, and Kyle shook off the thought, focusing back on the task of patching himself up. He looked into the mirror. There was a large, shallow, bloody scrape across his forehead, a couple smaller cuts on his cheeks, and a bruise on his jaw. Once again, he counted himself lucky. No broken nose or black eye. 

The cut on his forehead was easy enough to patch up, though it continued to bleed into the bandage for longer than Kyle would have liked. The cuts on his cheeks were likewise easy to deal with, and small enough to not warrant the bandages. 

Gingerly, he touched his fingers to his bruised jaw, sucking in a sharp breath as he poked the sore skin. That’s that, he thought. Nothing else I can do. He looked around at his now-messy bathroom for a second, dreading the thought of cleaning it up before deciding that could wait until he felt a little less like roadkill.

With that decided, Kyle left the bathroom and headed into the living room, where he turned on the fan as high as it would go and carefully laid himself on the couch. I should have taken a shower, he thought vaguely, the surgeon in him thinking about all the dirt and germs that still covered his body and could lead to infection. Everything hurts too much, was the thought that overruled it, the injured person in him thinking about the fact that he had just been hit by a car. 

He sighed, closing his eyes. He’d be fine, he decided. He could take a shower later, and then maybe he’d stop by work and have one of his coworkers give him a once-over. At the moment, though, he was far too tired and far too achy to even consider getting up, let alone giving himself over to be poked and prodded at. All he really wanted to do was sleep. 

But of course, sleep never seemed to come when he most wanted it, and for half an hour he just laid there, staring at the fan spinning on the ceiling and trying desperately to fall asleep. But it was no use. He simply couldn’t.

So he did the thing that made sense to him - he picked up his phone with his bandaged hands and clumsily called Alex. Alex could fix anything, he knew, probably even sleeplessness brought about by a car accident.

“What’s up, Kyle?” 

“Um...hi,” Kyle replied, suddenly wondering whether calling Alex had been such a good idea. He doesn’t want to be bothered by your very small problems, Kyle thought to himself. What were you thinking?

“Kyle? You okay?” 

Kyle shrugged, then remembered Alex couldn’t see him. “No,” he admitted, “but it’s nothing.”

“If it’s bothering you, it’s not nothing,” Alex said, and Kyle wanted to cry. After everything, still Alex was so nice to him, even if his problems really were nothing compared to the kind of problems they’d been dealing with lately. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, truthfully, and also not for the first time. “For everything.”

“What do you mean, Kyle?” came Alex’s voice, sounding worried. Kyle hated himself for that. He didn’t want Alex to worry.

“No, no, I just mean...for high school. I know, I know I keep saying it, but I am, I was horrible to you and you’re so nice to me and you’re the best person I know and I don’t know what I did to deserve to have you back in my life but here you are, and you’re my best friend, and...I maybe got hit by a car and everything hurts a lot even though I took like, six ibuprofen, and I can’t fall asleep and I just wanted to hear your voice, I guess, I…” He trailed off, finally, faintly exhausted by the words that had suddenly come spilling out of him, unbidden.

Alex was silent on the other end for a second. “You got hit by a car?”

“Um...yeah.”

“And you’re not at the hospital.”

“No.”

“You’re at home?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t go anywhere, I’m coming.”

Alex hung up then, and Kyle kept laying there, smiling to himself despite everything. Alex is coming, he thought, he’s coming and it’s going to be okay.

A few minutes later, Kyle’s front door was swinging open, causing Kyle to shoot up in mild alarm, then wince audibly as his ribs shouted in protest and his head swam. 

There had been no need to worry, anyway, because it was Alex who had come through the door, which, Kyle realized, he hadn’t locked when he’d first stumbled inside.

“Kyle,” Alex said, concerned. “You look like hell.” He crossed the room swiftly, grabbing a pillow from a chair and sticking it behind Kyle’s back. “Lie back down,” he instructed, and Kyle did. 

“Thanks for coming,” he said, as Alex gently poked at him. “Ow,” he added, as Alex hit an especially sore spot on his ribs.

“”Sorry,” Alex said, stopping his poking. “I guess you did all this already, huh?”

“Yeah,” Kyle replied. “It sucked.”

“I bet.”

Alex moved from next to him then, and sat down on the end of the couch, carefully picking up Kyle’s legs and draping them back across his lap. “You tired?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” Kyle said, though he was sure Alex could believe.

“Think you can sleep now?”

“Yeah,” Kyle said. Now that you’re here, he didn’t say, not that he supposed Alex couldn’t figure that fact out. 

“And you’re sure you don’t need the hospital?”

“Yes, mom,” Kyle said, already feeling himself falling asleep. “It’s not that bad.”

Alex sighed, clearly annoyed. “You got hit by a car, Kyle. That’s bad by default.”

“Mm.”

“I know you’re tired, and I’m not going to keep you up, but don’t think we’re done talking about this,” Alex said, his voice soft but leaving no room for argument.

“‘Kay,” Kyle replied, and then Alex gave his leg a gentle, reassuring pat, and Alex himself gave him a promise that he’d be there when Kyle woke up, and then at long last the pain started to fade, and he fell asleep.

thanks so much for reading this!!! i really hope you liked it :)

#whumptober2020 #no.28 #accidents #roswell new mexico #fic #kyle valenti #car accident #my writing #I say things #pre-kylex ish

[chimchimsauce]

Hit or Miss (3)

In a desperate attempt to rebuke the advances of her overly energetic coworker, YN asks her quiet roommate Jungkook to pretend to be her boyfriend until Taehyung lays off. But YN comes to realize that there’s more to the quiet man than she could have ever imagined.

I guess they never miss, huh?

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Chapter Two

Chapter Three - Just One Day

The Sociology professor's words are slow and boring, the middle-aged man having the inflection of a robot. Regardless, YN tries her best to pay attention, scribbling down anything that might be useful for the upcoming final.

The rest of her classmates don't seem to share her intense desire to do well in his course. Half of them are blatantly knocked out, one guy a few rows ahead of her even snoring loudly. One girl is dazed all the way out, chewing loudly on a piece of bubble gum and blowing a large pink bubble every so often.

But the most distracting people to YN's concentration have to be the three girls right behind her who are not so subtly whispering. At first, YN wasn't paying them any attention but she perked up a bit when she caught Jungkook's name coming off of one of their lips. Normally, she wouldn't really care, but now that she's apparently dating him, she can't help but be curious.

YN still doesn't know much about Jungkook at all so gossip could give her a bit of an idea of how he usually carries himself around people.

Still taking notes but now half paying attention to the lesson, Yn ever so slightly leans back a bit and moves her hair out of the way, listening in as best she can.

"Really? He's really dating now?" One girl asks.

Her hair is pulled tightly into a sleek ponytail that must have taken half a can of hairspray to achieve. She looks like she's just stepped out of the hottest new beauty guru's glam makeup tutorial. A bit much for just a day in class, but who is YN to judge?

"Yeah, the whole music department's been talking about it ever since someone saw Jungkook and his band with this girl last week," girl number two says.

She almost looks like a clone of the first girl. Their faces are identical but that has more to do with contouring than with relation.

"But I thought Jungkook didn't date. He doesn't even hook up at parties and stuff," girl three says.

She's dressed a lot more like YN who wears a simple shorts and t-shirt combo. It is beginning to get hot.

"You think that they're just friends?"

"No, Jungkook doesn't have friends. Well, none that aren't part of his band,"

"Damn, I wish that were me. Jungkook could honestly step on me and I'd apologize for messing up his shoes," Ponytail says.

"Oof, true. Have you seen his body? That boy is so fine," Clone says, fanning herself.

"He could come up to me right now and get me to do anything, honestly," T-shirt says.

"That's cuz you're a hoe,"

"Where's the lie, though?"

"I wonder what made him choose her of all people. JK has girls throwing themselves at him everywhere he goes,"

"I don't know. From what I've heard, she isn't all that pretty. Not ugly, but definitely not on his level. He could do so much better," Ponytail says with her nose up in the air.

YN feels a quick flash of hurt, not having expected to be insulted.

"Oh, like you?" T-shirt retorts.

"Obviously,"

"Well, apparently he isn't interested since he turned you down at the last frat party,"

Ponytail huffs and YN decides not to listen to them anymore, not wanting to hear anything else these girls have to say.

She's distracted the rest of class, thoughts drifting off to Ponytail's comment. YN knew Jungkook was on another level but did she really look so out of place next to him that people felt the need to comment on it?

YN is startled when everyone stands as class is dismissed, the girl too lost in her thoughts to notice that it was winding down. She packs up wordlessly and leaves, walking home by instinct.

YN hasn't seen much of Jungkook since she hung out with him and his friends in their practice room. His schedule clashed with hers entirely, meaning she only interacted with him right before she leaves in the morning as he's just getting back home.

So nothing's really changed since they've made their agreement expect that Taehyung doesn't bother her anymore. As a matter of fact, he hardly speaks to her at all, only giving her a courtesy smile whenever they pass each other between the shelves. Even though YN's glad to be free of his annoying babbling, she is a bit concerned by the complete one-eighty his personality has taken.

Maybe she and Jungkook can already "break up". Even though he insisted that he genuinely likes her, YN doesn't really believe him. She doesn't think that he's lying, per se, but she doesn't think he's being truthful either. How can you like someone without really knowing them? Even if you count the time they spent together last week, that certainly isn't enough time to develop true romantic feelings.

YN sighs. All this thinking and over thinking is beginning to make her head hurt. She'll take some aspirin and lay down for a nap before tackling homework and getting up for her shirt at the library.

The air conditioning is welcome against her slightly sticky skin. YN plops her bag on the floor haphazardly, not caring enough to place it in her bedroom. A quick trip to the bathroom and YN finds the bottle she's looking for, shaking out two white pills. She'd take them in the bathroom but she detests tap water, instead traveling back into the small kitchen and rifling through the fridge for something cold and refreshing. She's confused when she sees a bottle with a bright green sticky note attached to it.

Pulling it out, YN is pleasantly surprised to realize it's her favorite drink. She'd run out of them a few weeks ago and hadn't had the chance to go pick more up from the grocery store.

Make sure to stay hydrated - JK

YN can't help but smile. She takes her medicine and sits on the couch, intending on finishing it before she heads to bed. She's almost done, maybe one or two more swallows left, when the front door beeps, Jungkook stepping inside.

"Hey,"

"Hey," she replies, watching as she brushes his hair out of his eyes and adjusts his backpack on his shoulder.

"You're home early,"

"Yeah, the professor canceled class,"

"Oh," YN says, suddenly feeling kind of awkward.

She's not sure how to act around him and his confession did nothing to help.

"Have you eaten yet?"

"No, not yet. I was planning to grab something before my shift started,"

"That's hours from now, though. Let's get something together,"

"Okay," YN says, not seeing any real reason to deny him.

Now that she thinks about it, she is kind of hungry.

"Just give me a minute to put this away and then we can go," he says, flicking his head at his bag.

"Yeah, sure. Me too," YN says, picking up her backpack and awkwardly smiling at him before retreating into her room to put it away.

Jungkook's constant cleanliness had never motivated her to keep her own things tidy before, but now YN finds herself wanting to make a good impression on him even though they've technically known each other way past the good impressions phase.

Jungkook chuckles, still in the living room, before shaking his head and going to his own room.

"Cute,"

Not even three minutes later, the couple leaves their apartment, walking down the sunny sidewalk.

"Any clue where you wanna eat?" Jungkook asks her standing so close that their arms bush as they walk.

"Not really. I'm good with anything, really," she says.

"Burgers?"

"Yeah, that'd be good!" YN says.

It's been a while since she's had a really good burger.

The two of them take the city bus downtown where there are more restaurant options available. The somewhat stinky bus is mostly empty, only a little old lady and someone just getting off the graveyard shift the only other people inside. YN and Jungkook sit in comfortable silence, watching the buildings go by. YN gets the feeling that Jungkook isn't much of a talker, that he's more the type to simply enjoy another person's company without feeling the need to fill the space between them with chatter.

It makes it easy to relax around him.

Before long, the bus pulls up to their stop, YN and Jungkook exiting to the busy streets.

"Where are we headed?"

"You've never been here before?" Jungkook asks, surprise evident.

"I haven't been most places," YN says, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"Well, it's just a cluster of shops and places to eat. A lot of students come here on the weekends or after class,"

YN nods her head, stepping closer to Jungkook due to the large number of people going by. The last thing she needs is to get lost in a place she's never been at before. After nearly being separated after a man rams straight into her, Jungkook takes YN's hand, squeezing it in reassurance. Thankfully, Five Guys isn't as packed as the rest of the shopping center, the couple is able to find a table without a problem.

Once food is ordered, they fill their soda cups and sit on the hard bench. Jungkook props his head on his hands, watching her silently as she sips her soda.

"I've missed you," he says.

"I haven't gone anywhere,"

"Still. I've missed you. I hadn't realized how little I actually see you,"

YN's heart flutters slightly and she feels herself begin to blush. She clears her throat.

"Well, we'll be on break soon, so I guess we'll see each other more often," YN says, voice quieter than she'd like it to.

Jungkook's smile is instantaneous and bright.

"Yeah, I guess we will,"

"So, uh, how have your classes been going?" YN asks him.

"Fine. I'm just waiting for them to be over,"

"Yeah, me too. This semester has really been exhausting. I'm ready for the sweet, sweet, release of summer break,"

"Mm. I'm excited to be done with school but I'm not too sure that I'm really ready to be out in the adult world,"

Before YN can ask him to elaborate, their order is called, two beautifully silver foiled burgers and a cup of hand-cut fries shoved in a brown paper bag. Jungkook stands up and retrieves the food and they both dig in, occasionally brushing fingers as they eat their shared fries. For a moment, YN just watches him, watching the way he seems so natural here, less like that untouchable stranger he was only weeks ago.

It's not that he's any less gorgeous or unknown to her, but this is one of the first times that he seems normal, like he really might be just another young man instead of the sexy enigma she's always believed him to be.

"Do I have something on my face?" Jungkook asks.

"What?" YN says, slightly startled, "No, there's not. I just . . . got distracted,"

Jungkook smiles slightly.

"So when are you going to prove it?" YN asks in a sudden bout of unexplainable courage.

He lifts an eyebrow before smirking slightly and taking her hand.

"Just you wait," he says, winking at her.

Somehow they both know that he's already begun.

#networkbangtan #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #bts fluff #bts angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #kookie x reader #kookie fluff #kookie angst #hit or miss #chimchimsauce

[fuck-customers]

So here's a real long and real angry fuck coworkers/managers so hang on tight (tldr at the end).

I work in fast food, which sucks a lot, but it's a high school job yknow. Well the place I work at is often heralded for it's outstanding customer service, which includes having people take the drive thru orders outside. And often take orders outside in illegally hot/cold temps, to the point where the weather app/website has been blocked on our order taking ipads, to make it harder to call out the managers for their bullshit, but whatever.

So I'm outside today, and it's late May in the south, so it's hot as balls out, probs around 90, so technically people outside are supposed to rotate every 10 minutes. So my coworker, J, and I are sent outside to take orders, and we do have fans but they literally don't fuckin work, so that's real fun. After about 20 minutes, J and I both ask for some water, and the shift leader who's wearing a headset inside, M, does get someone to bring that to us. I told her where my cup was, and someone got it to fill with water, but doesn't pour out the soda that was previously in my cup, and just fills the top half with water, and brings out my delicious warm watered down soda. Which I'm not gonna drink, that's disgusting, so I just resign myself to thirst.

About half an hour after this, J finally asks for his rotation, which I'd been thinking about. M inside says to give her a second, they're busy, but she'll get it in a couple minutes. I figure I'll let him get rotated, wait a bit, and then ask someone to come outside for me as well. I settle on waiting 10 minutes. I do ask for some proper water from whoever comes outside, as that'll make it more bearable. 

Yet the replacement never comes. J and I continue to take orders out in the heat for about another half hour, complaining to one another. Finally, he calls over the headset, mentioning his rotation. M simply says "okay", and another employee with a headset, B says that they'll get to it, and stop whining.

At this point, I'm starting to feel really sick from the heat, as in I can barely breathe, I'm having to stop and catch my breath in between every sentence I say to a customer, and my chest hurts. I just really want some damn water, honestly.

Finally, Js headset battery starts to die, and he calls for a replacement. A new coworker, S (sorry for so many letters), says she'll bring him one, and about 5 minutes later when she walks out, we both ask her for water. Thank God, she brings some back for us, and J asks her about his rotation again, and she tells him "We have no one to rotate you with", which is bullshit, because she could rotate, B could rotate, multiple others inside could rotate, they just don't wanna come outside, when J and I have been outside for close to 2 hours, which is like really illegal lmao.

So J says again over the headset that he wants his damn rotation, and he's pretty pissed now, understandably. My dumb ass, trying to be the tough guy, insists I'm fine now, even though it's hard to speak from wheezing. This time though, none of the original people respond.

Soon after though, the night drive thru lead comes outside, to check on J and I, and after I tell her what's up she starts apologizing profusely, saying she hasn't been wearing a headset, she didn't know what had been happening, she had no clue we'd been asking for an hour and a half for assistance we hadn't received. Less than 5 minutes later, both J and I were back inside, with B and S on our spots, and M nowhere to be found inside.

I go to take a spot inside and have a really rough coughing fit, can't talk, can't breathe, etc. The drive thru lead, L, tells me to go sit in the back for a bit, which I gratefully accept. At this point I'm sunburnt, my throat aches, and I'm shaking violently. A few minutes later L comes back and starts apologizing again, saying she feels awful, saying she wished she was wearing a headset. I love L, shes a super sweet manager, and I know she's really upset. She said it was bullshit that we didn't have people to rotate, and that if she'd been listening, she would've gotten it done ASAP. Then I tell her a shift leader, M, had a headset on, and she got mad, mad that M abandoned J and I outside, and says she'll talk with her. M has always liked me, but I figured that was about to change. L left for a smoke break, and I caught my breath in the back for a bit before going to take a spot up front.

Later, when B and S came inside, B was bitching about how he "had to be in a position that wasn't even his because some people have to complain". This is about being inside, because although he was scheduled on an inside position, it's the position that rotates with order takers, and he's a little bitch. I told him that if he'd taken the rotation when J first asked, he wouldn't have to have been outside for as long as he was, because if J and I hadn't been worked to heatstroke, we would've been switched back.

M walks over, hearing our bickering, and immediately like "oh it doesn't matter now we're all fine now haha" and I'm still p mad so I say "Yes, but I certainly still feel dehydrated". M starts to try to defend herself, saying she hadn't heard us asking for water or rotations or anything, but says she knew that my first drink got fucked up, but apparently didn't try to fix it??? But still, her defense is bullshit, because she would respond with an "okay" or "I'm working on it" whenever J tried to remind her. B immediately backs her up, saying he didn't hear anything, even though he too responded, because he's a suck up. I just ignore them and keep working on whatever I'm doing, trying not to lose my cool on this incompetent shift leader who literally just got back from 6 months of not working bc she's at school.

After we've closed I'm talking to L in the back about the night, and she's close to tears apologizing to me still, and I feel terrible, because it's obviously not her fault, and she already gets shit from the other managers about the way she does her job. I tell her what M said about "not hearing" J and i, and she says when she talked to M privately, she claimed the same thing. Honestly, that makes me angrier than the whole being abandoned thing, because you're a leader, sis. Own up to your mistake and apologize and I would've moved past it and not typed out this whole thing. J was also super pissed, but M kept telling him that he should be over it now.

Another thing M did at the same time was told J and I not to "reset" to the speakers when we've reached the end of the drive thru lane, to allow the orders to process and not keep inundating the kitchen. It's a basic drive thru protocol to reset when we're backed up, to try and keep things smooth, and keep food in order. M yelled at J and I and told us to keep taking orders and not "stand around" at the speakers. Apparently she gave the same orders to B and S when they were outside, and L heard and told them they had to reset, it was the rules. M then went outside and told them not to listen to L, that she was in charge, and that they weren't allowed to reset. M is a shift leader just back from school, L is the night drive thru lead, aka Ms superior. L was, understandably, pretty pissed, especially since a lot of other managers don't respect her either. Work is a shit show, and I'm sunburnt.

 TL;DR - Coworker and I left outside in 90 degree weather for 2 hours, I without water, other coworkers bitch about having to switch out with us, leader denies hearing our request for water or breaks, same leader goes directly against superior managers orders, I'm sunburnt and pissed off.

#submissions #cashier problems #fuck co-workers #fuck retail #fuck coworkers #fuck managers #submission