#and thats not to say people shouldnt be feeling things. bc thats okay too

[limelade]

ill explain specifically why bots conversation with cabby + the way its portrayed is harmful. evil twitter thread to tumblr blog conversion time first off, AE potrays bot messing with cabby by lying to her for laughs. i understand iii is a childrens media and it would be fine under most context, but since cabby has memory disabilities and connects her self worth to the accuracy of her files, playing it as a joke feels cruel. bot isnt doing it to be cruel! bot doesnt know about cabby’s memory disability, but the tone of the show plays it off as though but isnt doing anything wrong when they are. plus, cabby’s intent when asking bot info about themselves is to precent herself from saying more things that could upset them in the future (her insensitive comment abt bot being a replica). she isnt writing the files or asking for info out of malice, she’s trying to use her memory aids to prevent herself from hurting other’s feelings in the future.

bot lying to her just feels cruel and unnecessary, since cabby isn’t trying to use the information in a way that would hurt them. bot’s reasoning for distrusting cabby’s is pointless. cabby needs accurate info and facts because otherwise she physically cant remember anything. cabby doesnt share files willy nilly either, she has only ever shared contestant files with test tube for the sake of the competition, but that would be the same thing as someone who didn’t have a memory disability sharing what they can remember abt a contestant verbally

but bot doesn’t let cabby use her memory aid, which cabby agrees to. it would have made more sense if bot just told cabby to keep the file private, which im sure cabby would have! the reason she elimed fan was bc he took a file without asking first, invading her privacy!

and this is the most dangerous message to send to someone with a memory disability. becuase oftentimes manipulators will prevent them from recording things that are said to them to more easily gaslight them later. im not saying bot is trying to do this, they arent, but its still a bad message to tell people with memory issues to not keep personal record of “private conversations”. keeping these records is how mentally disabled and physically disabled people keep themselves safe! not everyone in the world is a good, genuine person!

i don’t understand why the message AE seems to be sending is that cabby’s disability aid is a bad thing! its not a bad thing to keep records! its a good thing, actually, for disabled people to protect themselves! and cabby isn’t in danger in ii, but its still an unsafe message to send to say she shouldn’t keep records to keep her facts straight. ae tries to justify this by implying that the people around cabby are there to support her; but she shouldnt be told to stop protecting herself because she should trust she’s safe

This scene is framed as a heartwarming moment when its the most unsafe thing someone could say to a disabled person. If someone prevents you from using an aid and tells to rely on them instead, thats a RED FLAG. this is a common way for abusers to increase your dependance on them

IM NOT SAYING BOT IS AN ABUSER. BUT FRAMING THIS POSITIVELY IS UNSAFE. say im reading too much into a childrens media but for SOME CHILDREN THIS MIGHT BE THEIR FIRST EXPOSURE TO ANOTHER CHARACTER W MEMORY ISSUES!

at the end of the episode cabby leaves her file behind. HER DISABILITY AID BEHIND. why Is That the Moral You Want. Disability aids are so disabled people can be more independant. why are you using your disabled character have the “be more open and vulnerable” arc?? disabled people are already one of the most vulnerable minorities! do not push this idea to stop them from protecting themselves!

okay sorry guys end of my evil ramble. um. smile emoji. for the tumblrinas

#ii neg #sorry class

[forlorn-crows]

people are so weird about dewdrop so often, like it’s fine to make him like femme stuff and yeah he’s small but so many are like MY UWU BOY SO SOFT like let him live bro!! he’s messy and weird and neurotic and mean! it esp makes me upset when people do that and then hc him as trans, because it feels really obvious that they’re still stuck in the “all trans men are soft bois” phase. there’s a lot of really good dew forcedfem and dew trans stuff, but I feel like if you’re ONLY writing dew like that, maybe you should re-examine why you automatically hc the short, long haired guy as the feminine and trans one. anyways sorry for the rant, ghouls are genderfuck anyways, trans princess mountain supremacy

i know there was a post circulating about this topic a little while ago. and i know there were some good takes and some . . . not so good takes lmao.

there is definitely a boundary between sexualization and appreciation. some people dont know that line. and, like youve mentioned, some people have biases and stereotypes about thin androgynous trans men that dont ever really . . . expand beyond that point. youre absolutely right that if that is seriously the only way you write 'trans dew' (i say this in quotes really bc i think ghouls have a different idea about gender as a whole, but this conversation, like fat female characters, tends to go beyond just ghost when we have it) then i think taking a step back and asking why that is, is important.

like i mentioned earlier, while its okay to have aspects about your characters that are stereotypical, they have to be balanced and incorporated into things that go beyond sexual actions/identity. or what a person is to other people. bc ive read some totally hot, totally well-rounded stuff with forcefem trans bottom dew, like you said. but it can def get repetitive (and a lil sus) if thats literally all someone writes.

bc big, strong ghouls can have cunts too. tiny feminine ghoulettes can have dicks. these are opposite ends of the spectrum kind of examples, but you get the idea. and again, thats not to say 'oh well if people are saying only this kind of trans ghoul gets written, then i need to go the complete opposite direction and write them the other way!' cause like. gender has nuances and has nothing to do with personality, you feel? can the way you express your gender have to do with personality? yes. but yeah, they dont dictate each other.

and, as a cis person, my advice about trans ghouls in general is you should know the hard lines not to write. and you shouldnt act like you know everything. especially when it comes to transitioning, hormones, surgeries, etc. i hope i dont come across that way, and its why i dont ever explore those aspects in my writing. i dont have the experience (and again, i think it works differently as ghouls but i digress)

BUT. everyone has different experiences regardless of body type and whatever junk you got. thus, everyone can feel differently about the way a trans character is portrayed. some people are like 'hell no i dont want to read about any P in V sex' and others are like 'literally give me every dick in the vicinity'. you know? theres a lot of fluidity (hah) to explore, and i dont think one should be discouraged in writing 'trans' ghouls even if they're cis. take valid criticisms when necessary and needed, but like. they're hellbeasts. they arent human anyway haha. i would like more monster aspects, personally (tentacles anyone?)

and yes, i support the trans princess mountain agenda, please continue to spread it hahaha

#ask #anon

[marzonfloor]

PSA:This is a long thing thats just involving my personal issues. Dont feel like you have to read or comment anything. Its just me being sad.

Lost a friend yesterday. She doesn't wanna be my friend anymore. Its my fault but it still hurts a lot. I cried today. We ended off on okay terms though. I asked if we could still be civil and talk sometimes and if its okay to her and she said yes. I hope she doesn't talk shit about me to other people but I dont think shes that person at all. I still have all the love in the world for her and hope shes succeeds. Itd be so much more different if we hated eachother but we dont at least I dont. It also sucks because as of right now she has no social medias but if she were to get them again I wouldnt be on there. Id slowly start to know nothing about her. Id only have the memories. Which speaking of socials since she fully deleted her snapchat if she makes a new one she wont have the old memories unlike me. I cant scroll my memories too much or i will just see her and everything. I get the memories and I guess thats part of my punishment for fucking up. She gets new while Im stuck with the ghosts. I mean she hasn't deleted me off duolingo,pinterest,and airbuds so maybe itll be fine. Im just very sad. Also she lives one street away from me. So im not longer taking the bus in the mornings because if I see her for a while I think id start sobbing violently. This is so much but I can type long on here twitter doesn't have that. I wonder if our mutuals will take sides. Theyd take hers understanbly. It also sucks bc I dont have a the screenahot of the long message sent I back incase some how she does say something mean. I do wish ahed ask to try and be friends again but I get it. Plus people grow and move on. I need to also. Im just so sad at the moment. At least she didnt send it on Christmas but the day after. Im so ill. I shouldnt even get the luxury to feel bad because this is all my fault. I have never tried to make her feel bad. I feel awful that I have. Atleast its the last year of highschool and I'll never see her again. If I do though see her in 10,15 or even 20 years later id probably still feel like vomiting or dying because I went from at least I think knowing her pretty well in my opinion to then 10 years later knowing absolutely nothing about someone i once called me best friend. Who probably out of everyone knew me the best. Truly knew me. This is so long but im so sad lmao. It's selfish to hope she might miss me but I do. I hope she doesn't look back at everything and feels angry. Maybe happy for overall everything. I dont know. Im gonna throw up. Shes amazing though. Whoever gets to call her a friend is a lucky person. Shes the best you could get. I could only hope she has a little bit of kindness spared towards me still and mayeb thinks of me .

[smileymoth]

Im being mentally ill sorry chat

I need to kill myself at this point because I'm never going to get better in any way shape or form. I cant eat healthy because I get fucking weird about it. And I'd be okay with it because frankly I don't care if I make myself sick but at the same time I'm scared I'll die at 40 from heart failure because starvation kills your organs and your heart. But I'd not eat healthy in the first place so would it even matter. I hate that I can't say that I wish I was skinny because that means I'm scum of the earth bc i hate fat people even though I dont I just hate myself and everything to do with me because I'll never be enough for myself because I have crippling dysmorphia that makes me want to kill myself. I can'tlook at myself in the mirror i cant look at photos of myself because i hate my body so bad but i cant change it because i keep fucking eating i need to stop fucking eating i need to start counting calories again if i ever want to be skinny and get surgey god its such a long way to go to be skinny i wish i was underweight i wish i hhadnt gained 25kilos over the span of 3 years i need to kill myself because its all my fault its my fault i cant eat or work out properly or be healthy about it because im too depressed to cook for myself and im addicted to sugar and i have no energy or motivation to do things ever. What if its my fuckibg meds that raise my weight so much what if i went off them what if i stop taking them and eventually kill myself because being dead is bettef than being fat right thats what rhe doctors probably want you to beliebe. I look soooo normal on the outside im like smiling and laughing and i looknormal and happy to other people because i have nothing to prove to them for me beung sick beside them knowing i take meds and me joking about being suicidal. I dont have lost weight nor any scars to show them . God i wish i had the courage to cut my arm up so bad i had to get stitches but i cant because i lovr my mom and my mom loves me toi much and i dont want to worry her i already am terrifued of her seeing the small scars on my thighs . I cant even tell if cutting helps because it gives a nice adrenaline rush but then itd over and i feel guilty bc itll leavw scars that people can see i wish people didnt care aboyt scars i wish they healed and disappeared faster so i wouldnt havw to hide them but i also want them to see because i feel like its the only way i could prove to them that im ill and not just joking about it. I need to starve mtself and get skinny because theb maybe someobe will tell me im pretty because ill finally wear pretty clothes and i need to get rid of my tits and i need ro lose the weight for that abd im so scared i wont be able to . Its only 10 kilos it shouldnt be so scary to lose but i lost 5 in dec/january so before i even went to thw gym and now ibe lost nothing in 2 montjs and its so scary i hatw it i hate that im mentally il i hate that ik not ill enough for anyone to care . Im so pathetic it hurts really i need to kill myself but i cant because of my mom and it sucks . Im never going to get better and im never going to feel pretty enough or good enough in my life im always going to feel like a failure so why am i even trying anymore . I want to die but i dont i just want to be happy but i cant do that so i want to kill myself instead but i cant kill myself soim just stuck in this limbo of wishing i was a better person that im never going to be. I wish i had the self control to just not fucking eatif i cant make proper healthy food for myself i dont deserve it i dont deserve good thibgs i need to get beat up on the street by someone i dont deserve good rhings because i havent earned them im always gking to be a little freak thafs not enough for herself or the world because shes a depressed fat probably autistic freak whose only wish is to be happy and find love that i wont get becayse i cant talk to people. I also need to stop posting my mental breakdowns on tumnlr bc its not helping anyone but here we are. Im not a good person am i

#moth post #ed tw #sh tw

[trickstarbrave]

i hate most veganism conversations bc it always no argument against them is ever enough despite how "compassionate" they say they are and it usually goes back to being western "humans are separate from nature" ideologies or racism or pure ableism

"factory farms are bad which is why you shouldnt use animal products"

thank you for education about factory farms, but i feel there is a middle ground between "no animal products ever" and "actively supporting factory farms". stuff like sustainable bee keepers also help plant based ethical agriculture that you need for your food systems. stuff like backyard eggs and sustainable honey are ethical sources of food without death and i also dont have a moral issue with a living animal dying because that happens in nature all the time

"no. thats not good either. no animal LIKES dying and you dont HAVE to use animal products, therefore you dont get to. and honey and eggs are still bad because the animals have been domesticated and bred for these purposes which makes it unethical because humans had a role in it"

you misunderstand the processes of domestication and that if a species wouldnt benefit from it as well it simply wouldnt happen. domesticated animals in ethical, non-factory settings do live longer or safer lives than their wild counterparts. and also no, because of my various health conditions a fully plant based diet is not doing to be possible for me. for example i can't absorb omega-3s from seeds and nuts very well at all and i need to take a fish oil supplement to have any hope of absorbing it well.

"well not everyone in society should have to live according to YOUR needs. fine, you can keep your shit since you apparently "need" it but we should just do away with it otherwise because its bad for everyone else, morally wrong all the time, and bad for the environment"

removing it for everyone else means policing other people's health and bodies to determine whether or not you think they "deserve" it or not because they have no choice or if they should be forced to make due with subpar nutrition because of your moral principles. it will ultimately cause more harm, remove education on nutrition, and make it harder to access these things for someone like me who needs it. and also a lot of cultures have used animal products like eggs and meat and milk for thousands of years without destroying the environment, and trying to ban it for them too is blaming them for western factory farming based agriculture and destroying their cultural heritage in the process.

"no one's culture should involve eating meat"

well it does because humans have been eating meat longer than recorded history. in a lot of places meat is a more reliable source of protein and calories and other essential vitamins and minerals than plants. your lack of respect for other cultures outside of your own makes you a bit of a dick

"okay but that was BACK THEN. we dont HAVE to eat meat anymore. things can change"

you're right, but that abundance of plant based food sources is due to unsustainable agriculture. the same model that made factory farms also makes unsustainable mono-crop fields and run offs of pesticides and over-uses farm land and harms and exploits workers. it causes as much damage as factory farmed meat and the two industries are heavily intertwined with cheap grain bi-products humans cant eat going to feed livestock and livestock manure used in farms or cycled back to feed fish. if you want to truly end exploitation in the agricultural industry and save the environment that will involve giving up the conveniences of having whatever fruit and vegetables you want year round regardless of weather or where you live because shipping that produce from exploited workers is also causing real ethical harm and pollution in the world and is contributing to climate change. where you live it might be easy to sustain yourself only on a plant based diet because you have a wide variety of things you can cultivate for a balanced diet, but for other ppl it will involve some animal products or even a good amount of meat sources ethically and the animal used as much as humanly possible from organs to bones to skin and fur.

this is also usually supplemented with claims and facts taken out of context (like saying livestock eat way more grains than people do in the US especially--when livestock are eating grain by-products from ethanol production or stuff human beings cant or wont eat), or a false equivalency time and time again of factory farms = all animal agriculture or hunting ever, or insisting you are having cognitive dissonance because "its human nature to love and care about animals therefore if you kill and eat them you're a psychopath"

anyways tumblr stop with the "BASED ON YOUR LIKES" thing youre making me mad

[pixeljade]

Okay i've tried like 20 times to word this in a way that'll go as gently as possible but I dont think im gonna be 100% successful bc autism, so im just gonna post this and hope yall dont take it in bad faith:

Theres a lot of younger queers (especially AFAB ones) who still hold TERF ideology and the main reason I see them failing to let it go is because they cant embrace sex positivity.

Which like. I kinda get. I mean if I was AFAB and I grew up with creepy toxic masculine dudes constantly sexualizing me while i was still a child, and the pressures of family to reproduce, and all that shit that comes with being AFAB, i'd probably be scared as shit of sex. Heck I'm a *little* scared of it myself since I was sexually assaulted twice before I was 18! But I feel like thats something to fight against, because like...sex is healthy! Sex is good! Sex is the cause of literally all of our lives!!!!

And I'm not saying you have to have sex or anything, god no, I'm on the ace spectrum. I'm saying you have to be normal about sex, because sex is a part of life! Its ESPECIALLY a part of the queer community! And as much as it should be more welcoming to ace people, I also think demanding it be entirely chaste in order to welcome ace people is stupid and selfish and unhealthy.

"So whats this have to do with TERF ideology though?" Well, reader, I'm glad you asked, because "sex is scary" is the first step in the TERF ideology road! It usually goes "sex is scary" -> "men are scary" -> "anything with a penis is scary". And basically every queer person, at least on the surface, is against this. But under the surface, I find it all falls apart, especially amongst AFAB people. AMAB queers are expected to perform femininity to fit in, and almost always if it is the sort of space where femininity is scrutinized, it is expected that the feminine must also be chaste. I feel like thats no accident. It feels like any mention of sexuality from an AMAB person has them thinking about how we have a penis, such a lewd horrible thing, and then its like...instantly we become less womanly to them. They've let their fear tie femininity to a lack of sexuality, which is a TERF idea!

This also is what leads to more censorship of transfem people. As the recent bannings of transfem people on this site continue, I see a lot of posts saying stuff like "You wouldnt have this problem if youd just stop posting sexual content", even being reblogged by supposed allies.

And you might be thinking "well I'm AFAB but I'm trans, so, this doesnt apply to me. Theyre talking about actual TERFs!" And no, you're wrong. I see transmasc people who pull this shit ALL THE TIME. I recently had a transmasc friend cringe and tell me that the fact that I liked Asumi-chan Is Interested In Lesbian Brothels was a red flag because it was "clearly for the male gaze" which is absolutely TERF behavior. I also see a lot of transmasc people being dismissive of transfem fears in the current trans political situation. Its seemingly almost always a specific brand of UwU cottagecore transmasc that does it too, and a few of them I've even caught admitting they "used to be a TERF" which, I'm glad you no longer associate with them, but I'm telling you you still have shit to unlearn. Dont tell me this is out of my lane, either, its no different from if someone pointed out I still had toxic masculinity to unlearn! Which has happened, and I've examined mine. Why do you find it so unreasonable to examine yours?

Anyways thats all for now. Please do better. I shouldnt have to deal with this shit while the government is trying to kill me.

#watch someone take this in bad faith anyways

[wanderrlust0]

T-T

also my bf is being weird again….!!!! everyy time i hang out with snow (which has been a month or two apart) he gets weird with me again!!! he acts cold and short with me and its always like the next day. he swears im gonna cheat or not want him anymore, no matter how much i tell him that i wont and that i love him too much to think about wanting to leave him. like, i feel secure in our relationship and theres only a few things that could make me feel like its not. when he gets all anxious like this about us i feel like its bc he just doesnt feel fully secure with the relationship.. even tho weve been together for 4.5YeaRs. hes also had way more dreams than he should be having of me breaking up or leaving him. bc of his anxiety and fear of being cheated!!! like he gets upset bc they feel real in his dream and then he thinks what if its trueee. i feel like thats not fair to me in a way bc im not doing anything bad behind his back or seeking out someone else to make me happy. i also think maybe him feeling insecure with himself plays a factor into it. like maybe he feels like no one wants to stay with him or i dont love him anymore and he doesnt feel good about himself and then ends up suffering in his thoughts alone and becomes a hermit crab. i didnt mention anything to his mood yesterday bc i didnt wanna pester him with more to think about and i wont be able to see him in person for like a wk. i just wanted to seem fine..but maybe ill say something today. yesterday when i was contemplating on talking about it, i was going to be like howve you been, are you okay, do you still love me. mostly the do you still love me question bc seriously. so im also thinking that he saw snows bday post on ig since theyre not private and saw how they posted my card&drawing i did for them and ofc that made him feel a type of way. like, why is she making good art for someone else. i did it bc they didnt even want me to buy a gift for them or treat them or anything. they suggested to make something bc they like to display art in their room from other friends who have given them art. like the two people who i met the other day, they both create digital art of people. but thats why i made that drawing. aaand im planning on painting something for my other friend for her xmas gift. so i dont see giving my art as like a romantic gesture or anything, its just another way to give a personalized gift and it saves money lol. like, i just wanna shout “you have nothing to worry about!” i mean they were literally gushing to me about a guy they started seeing and they went on their first date yesterday and texted me about it and im just replying like im their hypewoman. i feel like this whole thing is making it feel like his worst nightmare and it shouldnt beeeee

edit: 12.14 / alright so i asked him “do you still love me?” and he says, “well yeah, nothing has happened yet to make me think otherwise” ………YET….. YET?!? like why are you beingggg like thiss to meee

#journal #mypost

[caruliaa]

okay throwing my hat in the ring on the infamous scale scene in the anti hero music video prob against my better judgment and saying as a fat person that like. okay to me at least the scale saying shes fat is supposed to represent the media telling her that shes fat (which is meant as an insult to her bc society is awful and fatphobic) and the thing is if you watch the video all the actual taylor does is look up to the Other Taylor who is the one that disapproves and the Other Taylor is clearly supposed to be like. a manifestation of all of the awful impulses and thoughts she has stemming from her self loathing (making her drink too much, telling her that everyones going to betray her, literally pushing her off the bed) shes clearly meant to be a negative and everything she tells taylor is meant to be seen as wrong and since its isnt that the Other Taylor tells her that shes fat but that Other Taylor disproves of the idea that she might be labelled as fat its clear to me that the scene isnt meant to say "my insecurities tell me that im fat which is wrong because im not" but instead "my insecurities tell me its a bad thing if people label me as fat which is wrong because it shouldnt matter" which to me while it acknowledges and represents the fatphobic ideals that everyone internalizes growing up in a fatphobic society it isnt in an of itself fatphobic.

HOWEVER fat people are absolutely justified in feeling uncomfortable with that moment (i was too to an extent before i saw what it was meant to represent) and expressing that discomfort however i just dont appreciate people resorting to bad faith criticism instead of just expressing that its upsetting to them to be reminded of how fatphobic our society or that they wished the video had handled it differently or had a warning before it. (which to be clear many people im not trying to claim everyone is critiquing this in bad faith) and also this does feel like some of the thin people critiquing this dont actually care about our actual issues when it comes to fatphobia but only when they get to be contrarian about something popular which feel very gross to me and like its using our issues as a prop.

also since taylor has spoken about experience with having an ed i think its relevant that thats clearly what shes depicting here and whole many thin people with ed have used that to justify being just horrifically fatphobic and treat fat people in ways that are just absolutely vile i think a thin person depicting their ed and how it was encouraged my societies fatphobia is very much different from that.

also also even though im saying i dont think the scene was fatphobic the way many thin people have been dismissing people feeling uncomfortable with it kinda fucking sucks and more than anything i wish thin people on both sides of this convo would step back and elevate fat peoples perspectives on it instead of talking out of their asses lol !!!

thin people please heed what i said earlier and dont clown on this post

#ummm. may delete later or make unreblogable but i wanted to get this out there #desperatly hoping i dont get torn a new one for this #tw fatphobia #tw ed #ed mention #tw body issues #ask 2 tag #taylor swift #<- THATS A RISKY MOVE. MAY OR MAY NOT REGRET THAT #well i have anon off anyway so

[hollyhomburg]

Loved this chapter, tho mc is so much more patient than I’ll ever be. Id be quite tired of dealing w the packs anger towards me over something that I couldn’t control 😭 like at some point I’d be telling Jin and Hobi to get over themselves. Like did Hobi miss the memo that yoongi claimed her bc she would have died if he didn’t? That she begged him not to? And he says that SHE’S the one complicating things?

I love Hobi and Mc but my patience is so thin w him rn. “I should hate u” no u shouldnt and if u do, go to hell. Love him tho ❤️

(Besides I’d be spilling dirt on all of them like did u know Jimin kills people for a living. Jin is an FBI agent. Y’all were complicated and murky long before I even met yoongi u emotional asshole).

I do enjoy Hobi and Mc getting closer tho. I hope they can talk fr. I’m glad Jin was able to sort out whatever he was feeling. And Jimin and Tae took the damn cake w how sweet they were my goodness. All I can think of is Jimin anxiously smoking a cigarette while shopping for makeup for his gf while other customers and workers are looking at him like 👀

okay BUT- i was super intentional about the language i used in this chapter, i really thought that people wouldn't like...still be upset with jin?

i'm not saying you're wrong for it- and this is on par with bily because we've seen everyone in the pack make questionable calls thusfar- thats part of the fun in the story, but if i may, i'm gonna bring up a few spesific lines of the last chapter in rebuttal to this ask, just because it left me with a weird taste in my mouth.

i really hoped that people wouldn't still be angry at jin and hobi...but i guess it's out of my hands right now unless i want to edit.

but remember, we see these charecters conflicted about the very things that youre unsure about, we see hobi's internal narration go. "You claimed Yoongi’s soul and future for yourself before you even met them, even if you had too- Hoseok has a right to be angry). But he’s not. He lies his cheek next to yours on the folded blankets, close enough that he can feel the warmth of your skin, and thinks- are you the only one who I can’t offer comfort to? Isn’t that a wretched thing, that we’re in the same pack but we can’t be so close?

we see hobi here being extremely conflicted, he's not exactly musing on his issues but he's letting them go! i get that the m/c still had to like- deal with them. But i think its very clear how tired she is of it. hobi gets and and he's tired too. it's more then dealing with the bullshit of that together as a pair- the first time they've really done something together for the benefit of their relationship thus far. and we see him immediatly offer her comfort right after- trying to limit the damage of his emotions and actions on her.

and then jin! jin's is also more easy to point out we see the m/c ask "Are you still upset at me and Yoongi for the mark thing?” i was very intentional to use the word upset not angry. jin confirms that he's still upset eventually- but he's mostly upset that they had to make those choices, that the situation forced them to do something that could have easily killed them both, because he wants them both alive not because he doesn't care that the m/c almost died.

but they'res also jealousy and insecurity there- because yoongi would have rather them both almost die then reach out for jin's help. both of those feelings are dealt with through sex in part because they need to reaffirm their desire for intimacy with each other and the trust. jin knows he could push the m/c too far, and she trust him not too in the mini scene (thats not really a scene)

i think people in general with bily forget the trauma that the m/c and yoongi put the pack through. remember- yoongi left without telling them one word, came back with another person and then she proceeded to not speak to them for about a month. i don't think any party is wrong in their feelings, and i do think that the mc is frustrated with them too. she just handles her emotions diffrently, she's more prone to self doubt then anger in part because of her abuse.

when others are angry or unrightfully emotional about others- tae for instance- she has no problem speaking up. but it's different when it comes to her because shes still handling the after effects of the abuse she went through. i'd even gander that the pack is well aware of this and is taking steps to make sure she does speak up for herself, remember hobi says "would you stop with the whole 'i hate you thing'"

and emotions don't just go away once you feel them, sometimes they linger, but both jin and hobi try to make sure that the m/c doesn't feel quite so bad about it, they at least try to make sure the emotions don't hurt her.

hobi offers her comfort before anyone else will- "You’re doing a good job, with Tae. In case no one’s told you yet.”“Oh,” you say, words muffled by the blanket, burying your face in it. “Thanks.” He can feel the warmth of your cheek, and after a second you move just a little closer, just enough for your skin to brush a little, atoms to atoms and more a feeling of warmth than skin. 

jin's is here- oh so he doesn’t hate you, you didn’t realize how worried you were of that, that Jin had someone decide he didn’t want you anymore. The hardness poking at your stomach dictates the opposite of that too. Jin’s hand cups the back of your neck possessively, tilting your mouth so that he can kiss you the way that he likes. He gets you gasping when his teeth dig in a little, just a little harder. But Jin knows you like a bit of force behind it, just to make your mind quiet. (jin knows he's stressed the fuck out of the m/c, and now he's gonna make her better!

Tldr: hobi and jin are trying their hardest!

also please definitely picture minnie smoking and anxiously shopping, a cigarette between one finger and another, or one hanging from his lips while he runs his hands through his hair and looks over high heals trying to figure out the guy to girl size conversion chart and being so so so confused why skirts don't always have pockets or what the fuck a beauty blenders used for.

[spikeinthepunch]

spierverse 2 spoilers. but also a long post diving into Villains in recent (animated) movies

i dont rly plan to make any super long posts about all of this movie bc theres just SO much to think abt and a lot of people are saying what i would say. but i have thought a lot about the villain, The Spot. mostly in relation to my last fave animated movie's villains- Puss in Boots 2

PIB got a lot compliments for its villain(s). You had Goldilocks who was an antag but a character you can see some reason to sympathize with, but she isnt the big bad. You have Death who is a conflict to hinder Puss' progress, and then you Jack Horner who is a villain that you have no reason to feel bad for, as its shown many times how he is just a privileged ass. It was a movie that finally really had a bad villain you werent gonna see redeemed, and had no reason to see redeemed. Goldilocks was an antag as she was Puss' enemy but we had no reason to hate her, and her siding with them eventually made sense. Death's conclusion with Puss was less so any end for the Villain's arc but for a personal Arc Puss was facing that drove the main plot.

Many people saw this movie and were pointing out how bad Disney/Pixar's movies have been with villains. I cant even think of any villain in their last movies, theyre all so samey. and a lot are trying to be the same "oh well now you can feel a little bad for them because we showed some sad backstory!". its nice to have some times where theres a complicated grey antagonist that explores the divide in interests and pushes boundaries but thats not what Disney is doing.

Often times, Superhero movies have cut and dried villains. Not bad- its just that there is a formula. You have a guy with a name and a gimmick and they bad, they must be defeated. Even in comics where things get expanded on for backstories, sometimes with troubled pasts etc, it still doesnt change it? They don't get reformed and stop being the villain.

So lets look at the first Spiderverse before 2. Kingpin was the first (major) villain (along with some on the side) and they were established villains. The thing thats important with Kingpin is that while we were given information about why he is doing what hes doing, no one ever finds it as "okay". no one thinks they should just deal with it by fixing him or feeling bad for him, because Kingpin wouldnt take that. He IS awful, hes selfish and terrible. and Nothing he does outside of those personal feelings actually reflects that. Nothing else he normally does as a criminal is related to his family that he lost. These kinds of superhero villains are often already criminals with an intense violent history, and theyll keep being a criminal.

Going to Spiderverse 2, we get a villain thats a bit different, The Spot. Its interesting because he starts goofy- he actually is trying to be a criminal too actually. He decides because of his circumstances, he needs to rob and do things like that and its makes sense, he has no where to go. But hes so confident and normal about it, cocky etc, that you dont feel bad for him. hes not desperate or sad or begging with the weight of his sad backstory. Hes annoying, goofy, and no ones will take him as a serious criminal at first. And then he starts to explain more seriously what happened. And it STILL doesnt come across like a "woe is me" kind of story. He *still* annoying and cocky. he wants to be bad. he wants to destroy everything. Does it suck what happened to him? Yeah. Does it suck that it ruined his life?" of course. Do you want to redeem him? i mean no, i wouldnt. hes still a jerk. and thats the key thing.

you can have a villain who is relatable and grey but its not The Spot. Its not Kingpin. They had some kind of "tragedy" but they arent ever going to be good and you shouldnt use them as aan example and soften them up to be easily digested and garner sympathy with. thats just not the kind of story you can have all the time. you NEED to remind people, mostly kids, who the bad guys are. and the samey bland villains of disney havent stuck in my heads at all in recent years. its not to say their movies were all bad- i liked a lot of them (Encanto, Turning Red). But i can hardly recall any clear "villain" plot lines. Theres a time and place for those vague instances, and many times they just dont work because it makes the whole story so vague and directionless. It makes it hard to remember the key points when its not strong enough from its other elements.

I just feel like we are losing classic villains because people for some reason started to think it was boring and we needed more "nuance" but this "nuance" isnt.....that. its bland written media by big studios that cant actually have morally grey characters because it would actually be too sensitive for people.

[trolagygirl2022]

i think people are so quick to disagree with a song when it changes too much from the groups usual sound. theres still songs or groups i dont dislike but i dont love ie: gidle wife wasnt to my liking and i have some icks about some of their lyrics or the overall songs itself. however that shouldnt be a reason to trash the shit out of these groups online. why cant people just say they dislike something and move on with their life?

social media is ruining kpop and fan bases imparticular are so toxic nowadays that i just have to admire the groups from afar cause i dont want to be shitted on for having differing opinions or views about things i like or dont like. i also think online people have become so used to overreacting for no real reason esp when its something they do not like nor agree with. ur telling me that idols who do so much personal content for their fans arent going to at least hate it if they get cancelled for uttering something the fans didnt like or agree with?

i often wonder if these groups would have had success if they didnt have to use social media cause i think that hinders so much of the members feelings towards certain aspects of their lives. like the fan calls which can both be good and bad depending on the circumstances. either way im indifferent if kpop is trying different sounds then good for it, its not going to be everyones taste imho. but abain the internet seems to go into a meltdown at about just anything relating to kpop or general celebs.

i also feel that kpop is less about having varied age ranges thus the ypunger the groups the younger the audiences are going to be and therefore the audiences arent really going to be genuinely mature, when young audiences see their faves doing s disservice theyll cancel tnem one day then worship them the next so its like idols cant win. i think its okay to critique comebacks too but from a musical aspect not a ahhh theyre using someone elses culture aspect cause thats shit for the groups who work hard for their success and culture is to be shared and that includes music. its like would they gatekeep kpop bc its too foreign sounding? no theyd overreact.

i also think it has a lot to do with double standards in kpop as a whole, girl groups get shitted on, boy groups get worshipped on for doing next to nothing different than what they usually do. but jeez kpops has got worse due to its ever growing fan bases and the overall high expectations fans place on these groups and idols. every comeback isnt going to wow everyone and thats okay to admit.

i wanted to add as well that people seem to look for anything online to do with kpop and make a scene about it all for no good reason. but idols to encourage unhinged or even delusional behaviour (ahem bangchan) out of their fans soooo its both parties doing really as neither are better than the other side.

sorry for my essay but yeah so many things just been so annoying to witness.

very very VERY true!

[bearlypigest]

i cannot BELIEVE i was following a homophobe and had no idea

just because youre 15 im gonna explain just on the off chance you dont understand the weight of calling someone the f slur

thats the word people yell at us when they hate crime us. thats what we're called by the people who want us dead. by calling a lgbtq+ person that bc they hurt youre feelings, youre saying, 'hey, im on the side of the people who do those things. i also want you dead for being lgbtq+. i take joy in hearing about the lgbtq+ people who get beaten and murdered and more for it, they deserve it'

if thats not what you mean, dont say it

theres literally no justification or EVER any good reason to say it

the only reasons youd be saying it are either a) youre a homophobe or b) youre too young to know better. but 15 is really around the age that you should start learning better.

that sort of thing isnt tolerated in the real world. thats how you get fired from your job in the future or kicked out of uni. if you cant drop it from your vocabulary because its beyond hurtful, then do it for your own sake

like

seriously man

its NOT like any other insult. its not like when someone called you a weirdo on twitter. that was wrong of them, they shouldnt. im not saying thats okay. but im saying that calling someone the f slur has so much weight and history and blood on it

like i said

either you mean it in all those awful ways, or you dont know better. im telling you so you can learn better. you deserve that chance at least

I never knew that word had a deep meaning against the lgbt, but I'm not a homophobic, I didn't know the f slur meant that cause what I've been hearing where I'm from ppl my age say it a lot, I asked them what it meant and they said it's calling someone gay, that's all they said and that's what I thought it meant, and yk how ppl are know days calling each other gay as a joke, but I never said it out loud both on the internet and irl, til now, and what you told me Abt what it meant I never knew that. And it's not because I'm homophobic I'm not, it just means I'm still a kid and still learning this stuff (when in actual reality I should be learning/talking Abt this as an adult not at this age cause I'm stupid) so I apologize for that, forgive me, don't forgive me, idc. But all I'm saying is I'm sorry and I never knew

#boris.txt #delete this later on today

[bellyhurts]

its been like 17 minutes since i told myself id do homework i need to do it but i just spent all that time reading through all my tumblr post...

god i hate myself

not bc of the homework thing ill get it done but because of just reading the posts

not really i dont think

i just hate myself

but not actually

just a little

maybe i feel bad for myself...

no self pity is lame

god do i hate myself?

when i read the posts i know edxactly what ii was refering to at the time... but i dont think i make my psots easy to decipher all the time

like when i saw the posts that said "im so nervous" and "nervous nancy" followed by the psot a few hours later saying wtf why do i actully have rizz" and then "wtf is wrong with me" im like: oh my god!! i know why i was posting that at the time!! like wowowowow thats how i was feeling thats wild!

i really do feel for myself.. why am i this way???? everyone probably pities themself sometimes.

idk i didnt deserve that... and i shouldnt do that.. wouldnt trade it for anything though. i wont stop though

im not evil im just human

im just learning

im scared for when i reach the age where i cant say that anymore...

is everything gonna be okay?

everything IS okay. i get GREAT grades, i have a good home life, i have 2 close friends, i get to walk and listen to music all the time...

i think that part of it is jealousy but theres always a wishing to get worse you know?

i don't think i'll ever be fejwlfjew but i think thats okay... im happy. i think. edcept for when i think about things too much

i pity myself

i guess i pray to the future me. you know? i wonder if i typed all my old posts knowing that the future me would read them and be like a therapist from another time...telling msyelf not to worry. i think i just did it because i need to say things and i dont have anyone that i call spew all my dumb stuff to without annoying them or making them think im mentally ill which i am not.

plus i need a place to be self centered. i guess this is that... some place hwere i only talk about me. im okay with no one listening irl because i dont want to portray myself as insane. there are some things that can only be written too. i wouldnt want to talk to my therapist about a lot of things because i dont want him thinking im insane. i know thats a therapists job but im saying like theres stuff that i really shouldnt say.. scared maybe. i wanna educate myself on law or soemhitng so i know what my therapist can tell my mother or can get me admitted for.

do i even want help? i seriously dont think so. the better i get the worse i want to get. right now im in a good middle ground. im happy, i dont cause conflict in the house too much, im not exhausting myself, i get things done, life is pretty okay. sometimes i will participate in some efwljfkwel activities though. maybe thats just my way to cope. its not harming anyone,, and i really dont believe its harming the present me too much.

maybe itll harm the future me like how my past decisions currently hurt me. not out of regret but out of pity. it just hurts that i did that... you know?

i really should do my homework but i have time (Not really)

im thinking of doing the bare minimum rn and waking up extra early to finish everytihng up. probably what i wanna do.

i know its only been a week of school since the weekend (weird way to phrase it??) but i need a break. im fine with school its not tiring or anything but god i need a break from life. not like life life but i mean hanging out with people, having things i need to do, etc. i need a week where im all alone. i love my friends but god i need alone time. i always feel so guilty when i dont hang out with them though because i dont wanna be lonely or lose friendships so i find myself hanging out with my friends mainly to "maintain friendships". i love them so much but please i need time.

this post is making me sound so mentally unwell but im doing so fine i promise (who am i promising?)

god

why is my heart rate so fast

lemme count it rq

okay its actually pretty normal its 80-ish bpm but it feels fast

i feel so shaky

i wonder if its the sugar i had earlier... i know some foods or larger amounts of fodos always make my heart feel fast and make me shaky but i havent really discovered what foods those are.

im always so nervous posting on here because what if i say something that makes this all tracable to me. i dont wanna lose opportunities beause of some dumb tumblr posts.

i know i should use like my journal or something but its comforting knowing that this can be viewed by someone for some reason. i mean id be mortified if someone told me they read all my posts but idk. maybe also its nice because i can always lose a physical notebook or lose the passord to my google docs but tumblr is public and i can always look at this tomfoolery from another account. plus this feels less formal. in my actual physical journal im very messy and i get sucked in when i write but its so messy its unreadable, it cramps my hand, and sometimes feels inconvenient. on my actual online journal i established it as something more formal... for life and mental updates for myself. im scared

i dont know why but im so scared

im so so so scared

god why did i just feel like i was about to cry

i want to curl up and cry so loudly in my moms lap while she tells me its okay but i cant i cant i cant. if i did she would think im mentally unwell which im not and id be such an inconvience to her.

last time i cried in her arms she told me that i gotta "say everything" to my therapist and that he can help me. help me with what?? she said that i deserve someone good that can help me? i told her that im normal.. she told me that she didnt want a normal daughter she wanted a happy daughter. i am happy. i just repeated that im normal because i know she sees me as different in some way. i see her as different in soem way too. i think i'd see my sister different than everyone else if i didn't judge her so much. i feel so insensitive but i always invalidate my sisters issues/struggles because i feel like i had it worse and that she has it so well. i konw its so bad and i need to remind myself that... she is a human being, she will struggle, and i should be happy that what i was so used to makes her suffer... im glad she's not used to badness like i was. that makes me sound so emo but you know. i just invalidate her so much.

anways. i think that seeing someone so closely..knowing them almost better than you know yourself will make you see them as less normal. or something. i dont know. i know my mom sees me as different. i doubt she sees my sister as so different than society. maybe its because im socially a little odd. she thinks i try to push people away/unsettle them. i dont. im just awkward around a lot of people. i like telling myself that im not everyones cup of tea. maybe thats just a way to excuse my social stupidity. my best freind always asks me how can i find myself socially stupid if im friends with like everyone. maybe shes right, but i dont think os. im not friends with anyone. weve just been conditioned to be nice to everyone and people are nice to me. yes people trust me, yes i have inside jokes/ get alogn with a lot of people... but do you seriously think i hang out with them outside of school? we use the word freind too loosely. if i never text someone, we only talk in school, and never hang out outside of school... no matter how much we know about each other, no matter if we've seen each other cry, no matter how long we've been "friends," we are NOT friends and thats okay. i try to be agreeable. people think im funny at least.

i need my mom to hug me and let me cry into her arms but i dont want her judging me or worrying about me i just need my mom. god im about to cry. why do i make myself feel this way? this was just supposed to be a post about not doing my homework.. now im writing like a multiparagraph essay. i need to say things. i guess i need to organize my thoughts. speak to the void.

you know i think i write in this because i know that future me will read it... emaning that future me will be alive. meanign that i'll be alive in the future. meaning that everything will be okay. if future me is alive, it means she overcame things, and shes now smarter, and as she's reading these paragraphs, she remembers how she used to feel, and pities her old self once again. and then maybe writes more to the future future me. and the cycle continues. until im dead i guess. maybe someone else.. a child? will work as a future future future x1000 me.. i doubt it. i dont think someone will ever care about me as a person so much as to read everyting ive thought. im currently pretty much just writing my thougts. nothing is organized. im just rambling. i would film a video but i dont have space in my camera roll, and even if i did, i would never want a video of myself saying stuff. some things are better kept written. anwyays. hello future me. and the future me after that. etc. i wonder if im laughing at this in the future. probably... in some time in the future. i bet ill laugh while also pitying my current self. self pity is so lame.

speaking of children. honestly.

door is opening. my moms home. ive been writing for like an hour. homework for tomorrow i guess. ill maintain a convorsation with her while i write. actually maybe ill close my laptop and return to this later. i mean i could use the excuse that this is homework...

[unsurebisexualcore]

hi im the anon that lost my best friend a little while ago. i mean she didnt die but we grew apart. i was doing okay after my last ask. your words actually helped a lot so thank you for that. i mean it get sad when i see things that remind me of her but its whatever because i havent really seen her or talked to her since the sleepover. i got extra sad today because my sister is hanging out with her today and i didnt know about the plans until my sister told me why she wasnt riding the bus home with me. i really dont want to blame my sister because she didnt actually do anything wrong. to be honest neither did my best friend. she just got sick of me i guess. i would say that i dont blame her but this time i really do. i didnt do anything wrong and i refuse to change myself again for someone who doesnt like me for me. i did that too many times as a child and now that im finally happy with who i am i will never force myself to be someone else ever again. at this point i really shouldnt be upset because she made her choice but i am just so frustrated and sad i can barely take it. ive had issues for as long as i can remember with feeling invisible and that im not good enough and that i could never ever be someones favorite person and i truly believed that for so long. i still kind of do honestly. im really trying to be better about it and my other friends are trying to make me believe that i am loveable and also worthy of it. its working, very slowly, but still. today was a setback. wow that turned into a monster sized rant sorry about that

dude I am so incredibly happy to hear back from you, and literally u have no idea how massively wide im smiling rn reading this. setbacks are rough in any recovery journey, i know ive had my fair share, and it genuinely makes me feel really proud to see people like us not lose hope in situations like these because really at the end of the day there is so, so much more to life than just this one person, even when sometimes it doest feel that way. and you are completely right, if she doesn't like you for being you anymore, you owe her NOTHING in changing who you are for her bc at the end of the day you are more important to you than she is, and thats GOOD. and im rlly proud of you for sticking by that i really really am :)

so i promise okay, if some random teenage girl on the internet cares abt u bc i sure as hell do, u are abso-fucking-lutely worthy of love and care and being seen because you're YOU and that is literally the only thing that you have ever owed this world, ever.

so just promise ur not gonna forget that, no matter how many setbacks come ur way or how many times she wiggles her way back into your life, promise ur not gonna stop being u, okie? cuz ur like, cool af, and i would be rlly sad if someone else was the reason why that ever changed

#love you nonny <3 #and srsly liek ik i said this in the other post (or at least i hope i did) but keep me updated #my dms are always open if u wanna rant #as is my ask box if u wanna stay anonymous bc i completely get that #btw for the next 24 hours u are my favorite person now #so hah ur wrong u are someones favorite person >:) #askies