#and im not sure what the particular catalyst was

[ohdeerfully]

hiii! this is my first request on tumblr but i jus love alastor sm and there is NOT enough fics for me out there. so im asking u❤️

what abt alastor being jealous of someone else in the hotel? for example: angel dust, he puts on music and you two are dancing with eachother happily not noticing the red eyed demon with a tight grin. 🥰

Hii! Honestly after writing this I realized I didn't follow the prompt exactly, less jealousy and more Alastor being overprotective. Oh well! Hope you like it anyway :D!

Be Back Soon (i)

alastor x reader (fluff? alastor is just overprotective) part i TW: Cursing/Angel existing if you want tagged in the next part, lmk! join my discord! ═══ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ═══

Your fingers dragged down the skin around your eyes as you let out a long sight, sitting at Husk’s bar with shoulders propped on the cold counter. What a day it had been, running around in the typical chaos of the hotel as Charlie tried to get some group bonding activities finished. It was getting late, and you just finally had a moment of peace.

“‘Ey, toots!” The chipper voice broke your peace and you couldn’t help it when another audible sigh escaped you. The culprit of the broken science paid no mind.

Turning your head, you narrowed your eyes and made eye contact with the lanky pink spider. You were a little salty at him in particular, being one of the main catalysts to the everyday insanity. He had an easy grin played upon his lips as he stared back down at you with his multicolored eyes, one pair of arms on his hips that jutted out a little too unnaturally in a mischievous pose. His golden tooth glinted under his light grin with a similar air of “hey I’m up to no good right now.”

“You look fuckin’ tired!” He barked a laugh, dramatically squeezing his eyes shut in a theatrical show of laughing in your face. It really wasn’t that funny, and you couldn’t stop the frown that touched your lips as you watched him. He took pride in being the way he was. Annoying.

“No thanks to you, Angel,” You clipped back. You turned your head to watch Husk, who was leaning against the wall with his eyes closed. He had become an expert in ignoring the spider demon’s presence, which was how he managed to stay sane with said demon’s constant flirting and sexual nature.

“Anyway,” He waves away your targeted words with a wave of his hands as his eyes roll up. “I was thinkin’ we get outta here for the night? Me and Cherri were gonna have a “girl’s night.”” You briefly thought about the humor in Angel admitting to being ‘one of the girls,’ but pushed the thought away to consider his invitation. “It wouldn’t hurt ta get some fresh air. This place is real stuffy sometimes, and a huge snooze fest,” he persuaded. He rested his face on one pair of hands, fingers laced under his chin, as he leaned against the bartop in anticipation for your answer.

You purse your lips in thought. It wouldn’t hurt, right? You didn’t go out clubbing a lot, and with Angel and Cherri with you surely nothing wrong would happen. They looked out for their friends, and you would (maybe regretfully) consider yourself Angel’s friend. You glanced at Husk for a moment, as if looking for advice, but his eyes remained close and his lips had an annoyed curl. Maybe you should get out of his hair.

“Okay, okay,” You grinned, a little sheepishly. While you couldn’t really consider ‘fresh air’ to be a feature of Hell, you agreed that you needed to just Get Out of this place. Running errands for Charlie got mundane, even with all the strange characters that cycled through the place. One tends to get used to the chaos.

Angel stretched his arms up in a cheer, which earned a one-eyed, aggravated look from Husk. He uttered something under his breath before grabbing a bottle and walking to the other corner.

“Alright, sweet lips,” Angel cooed at you. “Let's get you dressed! You got anything decent up in your closet?”

Your hand found its way to the back of your neck as you answered sheepishly, “Eh, not really… At least, not for a night out. I don’t really do much outside of the Hotel.” Angel frowned at the response, tapping his chin in thought.

“Lemme take a look,” With a swipe of his arm, your hand was suddenly being held as he dragged you up the steps toward the floor of your room.

Walking down at the same time, you briskly passed by Alastor, who had his eyes closed and a hum in his mouth. His blazing red eyes peered open as you and Angel rushed past him, a quizzical furrow in his brow seeing the connection between your hands. You shot him a shy grin and craned your head back to shout a quick ‘I’ll explain in a minute,’ before you disappeared around the bend of the stairs.

You didn’t miss the dark gleam in his eyes.

Angel, in an attempt to dramatically burst through your door, slammed full body into the entrance. “Ah- the hell?” He cried, roughly jiggling the handle.

“I keep it locked,” you snickered at him and the disheveled look in his usually preened hair. You saw him take his hands to brush it out as you fiddled with the lock, an annoyed mutter of words escaping his lips. The second the door clicked, Angel shoved past you and reattempted his dramatic burst through the entrance with a bit more luck this time around.

He went straight for your closer, rummaging through this and that. What a breach of privacy, this guy is, you thought with a strained smile as you stepped up next to him to try to guide him through your very Ordinary and Plain clothes.

You felt a prickling sensation on your skin, and you swear you heard a frequency of low static, but when you whipped your head around nothing stood there. Did that shadow just move?

Shaking your head, you looked at the piece Angel held proudly in his hands, one pair of arms gripping the top and the second pair pulling the bottom out to really get a full inspection.

It was incredibly simple, but still a bit more revealing than anything you were used to wearing. A deep red top, so cropped it may as well be a sporty bra, with a couple eye-catching accents of rhinestones. Connected with thin straps was a similarly tight pair of booty shorts. Your face flushed at the thought of wearing this. It was practically lingerie.

“Isn’t it a bit, uh, tacky?” You tried in an attempt to dissuade him from this getup. He acted offended, one hand going and pressing against his fluffed chest. You didn’t miss the way he took this as an opportunity and pressed up against himself to perk up his mass of chest fur.

“Babe, I wear shit like this all the time! You tellin’ me,” He started a rant, shaking the clothes in a fit of mock rage. “You tellin’ me I’m tacky? Hah! Me! Angel Dust!” He wiped away a fake tear in his laughter.

Your face flushed again looking at the getup. With a defeated mutter you swiped it from his hands and trekked painfully slowly to the restroom. You ignored Angel’s urgency for you to ‘hurry the hell up’ because it was almost time to get going.

You slowly stripped yourself of your day clothes, gingerly stepping through the tight shorts and tucking your arms through the straps of the top. You didn’t even remember buying this thing, it had been stuffed far in the back of your closet. You couldn’t help the feeling of dread thinking about the other embarrassing things Angel might have seen in there. Though, you doubt anything could phase that guy.

You had to admit, looking at your reflection, that it did accentuate your curves, even if you didn’t have much to begin with. The rhinestone accents glittered in the bathroom light, obviously designed in a way to bring attention to the chest. The straps that connect the two pieces fit snugly against your exposed torso. You were suddenly glad Hell never got that cold.

“Almost ready!” You snapped at Angel calling from the other side of the door. You quickly threw on some touches of makeup, trying your best to compliment the shades of your outfit and adding some glittery makeup around your eyes. You quickly dragged your fingers through your hair to style it comfortably.

You ripped open your door just as fists started banging on it. Angel stood there with two arms raised, stopped midair to keep himself from decking you in the head. You glared up at him, trying to maintain your earlier sourness to hide the fact that the outfit had grown on you.

“Hey, sexy lady!” Angel teasingly leaned himself against the doorframe with a smirk. “Let’s fuckin’ go! You took too damn long! Cherri hates waitin’.”

Grabbing your hand again, he ushered you out of the room. As you raced down the stairs, you tried to continuously preen your hair to keep it from flying out of shape as Angel practically drug you down each step.

He slowed at the bottom, releasing your hand, and stepping towards Husk’s bar to aggravate and flirt with the cat one last time before heading out. You tuned out his sexual innuendoes as you tried to glance over yourself one last time.

“My, what a dame you are!” Alastor’s recognizably radio-afflicted voice ripped your attention away from picking at a loose rhinestone. He stood over you, a slight bend in his waist and an unnatural crane in his neck. His smile was there, but tight and uneasily wide as he examined you through squinted eyes. He leaned his weight against his cane.

Swallowing your unease, you examined his expression. You knew Alastor didn’t care for such… promiscuous outfits. Especially on what he considered his. You knew his compliment was satirical, and you didn’t miss that glint of anger flash through his expression.

“Heyy, Al,” You drew out your words, unintentionally accentuating the awkward tone between the two of you. He paid no mind, keeping up that seemingly cheerful grin of his as he just… stared at you. His fingers tapped impatiently on the radio of his cane, each tap bringing a warp to the frequency that always surrounded him. “I’m going out with Angel tonight. Y’know… to get some air…”

“My dear,” His eyes closed in a laugh and he straightened himself out. “Why would you ever go out there for fresh air? Now, you know those demons would just eat you right up.” A dark sneer infected his smile, lips curling and exposing the line of his black gums.

“‘Ey c’mon, Smiles,” Angel stepped up next to you and lazily threw an arm over your shoulder. You saw that sneer only deepen as Alastor watched the spider get way too close to you. “Give ‘er a break! She’s always runnin’ around doin’ shit for this bum-ass hotel! It makes her… boring!” 

You didn’t know whether or not to appreciate Angel both defending and insulting you. You decided to just ignore his comments as you watched Alastor’s expression get darker and more sinister. You felt a cold sweat prickle at your neck as that static-y frequency of his became more prominent and aggressive as his eyes swept over the two of you, lingering on your exposed abdomen with a frustrated twitch in his brow.

“Why, of course!” He suddenly cheered, brandishing his hands to his side in a slight bow. “But…” He stepped towards you, looming over you. You felt that nervous tickle again. His right hand raised and, with a quick motion, a fairly modest jacket materialized around your shoulders. “All better! Wouldn’t want greedy eyes seeing what’s mine!”

How bold, you thought. He was from the ‘30s, though, and very old fashioned. It made sense that immodest wear bothered him. Plus, you looked down at the jacket. It had a similar color scheme, and was light enough to not be too warm. At least it goes with my outfit. How sweet.

You felt a bit giddy at the permission Alastor had given you–not that you needed it. (You did). You’re a grown ass adult. (It doesn’t matter). You shot him a smile of thanks before dashing out the door, meeting Cherri who had been frequently laying on the car horn for you to Hurry the Fuck Up.

Before Angel Dust could follow, a tight grip on one of his wrists stopped him in his tracks. He hissed, yanking his arm but to no avail. Alastor’s grab was like iron, and his nails began to dig into Angel’s skin.

“Hey you fuck, let me go! I gotta get out there before Cherri starts blowin’ this shit up!”

Alastor pulled Angel in closer, a sneer-like grin crossing his expression. There was a maddening look in his glowing red eyes.

“If she comes home with even the smallest scrape,” He said in a low tone, the garble of his radio slightly distorting his voice. “I’m going to make you wish you never came to this Hazbin Hotel.”

Alastor’s grip didn’t yield as Angel tried again in a futile attempt to release himself. He had a nervous laugh in his voice as he tried to act unintimidated by the Radio Demon’s threat.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, you creepy red fuck,” He gruffed back, “Me an’ Cherri will stick right by her. You don’t gotta worry about nothin’.” Alastor’s expression shifted in an instant, his cheerful grin reappearing. He stood up straight and smiled down at Angel. “Good man! Now, don’t be too long,” He shooed Angel out of the lobby, who was more than glad to get the fuck out of there. He heard a faint ‘I’ll be watching’ from behind as he slammed the car door shut, muttering curses under his breath.

He knew Alastor would send that damn shadow of his to keep a close eye, so why the fuck did Angel have to babysit you in the first place? Plus, you weren’t some weak, naive fool. Whatever. He knew Alastor would take any excuse to cause some entertaining mayhem.

He sighed as he looked at you, who had a nervous but excited grin as Cherri rambled and cursed about something.

Maybe he shouldn’t have invited you out. He knew he was in for a long, stressful night. Good think there would be a bar.

#alastor #alastor x reader #alastor x you #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #angel dust #ohdeerfully #cursing #fluff #alastor is overprotective #reader isnt weak tho #he just cares too much i think

[tainbocuailnge]

Oh sorry, I meant fake Assassin. Specifically about how he's not even technically real and instead a stand in for someone that probably didn't exist. Is that normally possible or was that because the fuyuki grail was tainted? And why was it that he was summoned by caster specifically? Thanks again

"normally impossible" is always a classic in fate. im not completely sure without rereading but i think it was that what makes him a weird outlier wasn't even necessarily the shakiness of sasaki kojirou's existence in history (mythological and fictional characters were already established as servant candidates and the figure of sasaki kojirou would qualify for that moniker regardless of whether he actually existed), it's that he's a servant without a noble phantasm.

it's technically because the grail was tainted but in a bit of a roundabout way, because the grail being tainted is what allowed for the summoning of anti-heroes, which lead to summoning someone like caster who would try to hijack the system and summon her own servant, which leads to her summoning someone incompletely qualified to be a servant (for lack of a noble phantasm) because she's incompletely qualified to be a master (for lack of a physical body). it's specifically him because it's a bootleg ritual that ended up using the surrounding area as catalyst, and this particular iteration of kojirou just happened to visit it in his life.

it's also sasaki kojirou because they needed a character to highlight the way the people in saber's life didn't care that she wasn't even a man as long as she adequately performed the actions expected of "king arthur" and the irl confusing and contradictory records regarding sasaki kojirou's life and existence make him a good fit for that job in the story, which is how they ended up at "anyone who masters the tsubame gaeshi becomes eligible to be summoned as sasaki kojirou even if the individual's lived experience doesn't match the records"

#lemon longer #king of asks

[theaviskullguy]

D&D Obey me- Lucifer, Mammon, + The Twins!

@trash-opposum here you go. seperate post so people can find it but here!

Disclaimer, if i do the rest, im going to avoid making EVERYONE a tiefling or aasimar, those are just for who i think are exceptionally appropriate/is how im playing them as my current dnd character is just Belphegor. If yall want me to make the others (Asmo, Levi, Satan, maybe Diavlo but who knows) let me know!

so let's GOOOOOOOO

Lucifer

Aasimar, the kind from Mordenkainen so no special extra type

Noble background, mainly cause i cant think of anything else

As for class, we have four potential options

Two varieties of Paladin, cleric, or warlock

First paladin variety- Oathbreaker

In this case he was probably originally Devotion before the revolution, and whoops! Oath Broken!

It'd either be a point of pride for him ("I fought for what I believe is right, and there is no shame in that") or he'd hide it from everyone

Second paladin- order of the Crown! obviously because of Diavlo. fellas is it gay to swear undying devotion to your future ki- *gets shot*

Cleric, then Order Domain. clerics are sworn to gods and not demons but shush his patron might still be Diavlo. in an actual D&D setting i can see him instead swearing to like Tyr or something.

he wont be healing. clerics are tanky he's out here ordering people to drop their weapons and then fucking murdering them

Warlock, gotta be fiend patron. im not sure if its possible to be your own patron but itd be funny as shit. worse case its fiend patron with some flavor homebrew as i call it to literally just be a fiend in his own right climbing the infernal ladder as he levels up

i promise the others wont be as long

Mammon

Earth Genasi as those are descended from the Dao, which are the greediest genie. Also, they just look rich with gem-like stuff growing in cracks on their skin you just know Mammon's one of them

Charlatan background. he is scamming people left and right and it works

Rogue, thief subclass. Honestly any subclass other than Arcane Trickster (hes not smart enough) or Scout (hes not equipped for the "outside of civilization" shit)

Unlike for Lucifer, the others have Backstory! Woo!

Mammon is the son of a Dao and a human. His human parent helped him escape from the Elemental Plane of Earth, but then he was left on his own

So. He quickly learned how to con people. At first it was for survival, and then greed.

He found Lucifer while running one of these cons. In particular, his "con" was a vanishing act. He claimed he could become "one with the earth" when really he was curling up on the ground and casting Pass Without Trace. Lucifer saw through this illusion and threatened to out Mammon as a conman, unless he joined him as his ally. So, he did.

Lucifer keeps him in check, but that's not to say Mammon isn't fully on the straight and narrow

Beelzebub

Tiefling!!! variant tiefling favored to have fly wings.

Outlander background, ill explain why in a sec

Barbarian. Need I say More?

actually i will- Totem animal, spirit of the bear. Since bear gets resistance to all damage (other than psychic) while raging and i feel that works with Beel more than anything

now for his backstory! he isnt canon in the campaign im playing belphie in but his backstory has the same catalyst. When he was five years old, the kingdom he lived in was caught in a rebellion against a tyrant. In which, Beel saw his older sister get killed by a royal guard. Belphie was going to be killed- but was protected by a tiefling in a knight's armor (my previous character who was killed. rip avi)

Beel, in his five-year-old mind, just ran. He took off without a second thought- a decision he now regrets deeply.

He ran into the surrounding woodlands. And gets an Atalanta-style backstory. For those who dont know, Atalanta was a princess who was abandoned in the woods and raised by bears

So Beel is raised by bears. Which is way better than being raised by wolves

They teach him how to hunt, gather, and its all well and cute. He sometimes entered the rebuilding kingdom to trade in leftover meat for clothes and weapons- and, to try and find Belphie. No luck.

Eventually, Beel grows to be a powerful warrior. Hangry, sure, but his rage hold the rage of freaking bears. so keep him fed. please.

Anyways Lucifer and the gang (everyone minus belphie) encounter Beel in the woods, watching the cubs. Beel agrees to adventure with them. He says goodbye to bear mom and promises to visit- hopefully, with his twin, next time.

Belphegor

hehe its ME

Zariel Tiefling but i dont give a shit about the infernal legacy its just There. tail is a cow's tail he basically just looks like his demon form

Hermit background. again ill explain in a sec

Druid, circle of stars! to people about to scream "i just checked the wikidot why he no circle of dreams??" because that doesnt have to do with dreams and sleep as i wished it did. its the obligatory faewild subclass. i hate the faewild subclasses (other than the bard one that ones fun)

Currently n the campaign im in we're level 5, so his two wildshapes are wolf, and a bull. But he also has his three starry forms due to being circle of stars.

now. backstory! strap in this is Long

he's saved by my previous dnd character- Avi- and is taken in by him and his husband when the rebellion was over.

Except. due to seeing his sister die and not seeing his twin after that, Belphie assumed the worse and thought that Beel also died and he was the last one of his family

He fell into a pretty deep depression and had no motivation to do anything besides sleep, cry, and eat very tiny portions of meals.

eventually his adoptive dads start telling him stories. and. surprisingly. they seem to help! Belphie is still a shrinking violet but he eats more and can cook and do basic chores!

And Then Avi Goes Missing

His husband- Skull- asks the now 11 year old Belphie if he wants to come along to find him. Belphie declines, saying he needs to get in control of his life and some big quest is probably just gonna leave him with more trauma

Skull lets him stay home, and gives him one of his feathers. So if Belphie ever needs a hand, he can call Skull over and. well. have one of his dads at least

For five years, Belphie took to studying druidcraft, and the stars. He also enchanted his favorite pillow to float and be able to carry him. So he had a little more comfort when going out to buy groceries. He'd make detailed star maps to sell in return

When the sun rose on his 16th birthday, he left a note at home saying he felt ready to tackle his own destiny, and left.

He had a brush with Lucifer, but not Beel. so close, buddy.

Anyways he arrives at The Hunters Guild, finds his parents again, and takes residence in the observatory, where he studies his stars and druid magic again. But also, sleep and dreams.

and. yeah thats where we leave off! god that was long im sorry

#obey me! #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me belphegor #obey me beelzebub #im sorry this got So Long #also to people who dont follow me for obey im sorry about the sudden hyperfixation #but its my blog yall just visit here

[super-paper]

I can understand ppl not liking stains character (not me tho, love that guy 😌 i too, love and wax poetic about toshi), but im actually surprised that so many people are mad about not only the impact but also the importance of stain in toshinori's arc.. like, idk im sure i fail to pick up on some things as i read the manga, but it makes perfect sense why stain would take on such an important role in saving and helping toshi (in more ways than one). But maybe im just biased ?? Anyway, something something they hate him for being a slut and all the killings something something 

Yeah, what gets me is that post was clearly talking about the people who were directly involved in Toshi's arc about choosing to live and the OP included Bakugo bc he's clearly being set up as the coup de grâce/grand finale to that arc about living. Stain's inclusion as a direct participant in that arc was also obvious-- like, "why is a self-righteous killer being included in Toshi's arc but not my favorite student character?? this is proof that the writing is bad!" is such a wild argument imho, bc it's so obvious to me that Toshi needed to develop a relationship with a villain chara entirely because of this:

"If you think of him as anything more than a villain--" the entirety of Act 2 exists to challenge this mindset, and Act 3 exists to defeat it. Stain plays a crucial role beyond just helping convince Toshi to live and fight for his own (and everyone else's) right to keep living--Toshi's heart is able to heal specifically because he doesn't dismiss Stain or think of him as "nothing more than a villain." His meeting with Stain triggers a subtle but needed change in how Toshi views villains:

Calling Stain's contribution to the final act "pointless" ignores the heart of this story and why Toshinori SPECIFICALLY needed Stain SPECIFICALLY as a catalyst for a certain SPECIFIC change, and it ignores what that change actually means for the greater narrative-- again, people tend to severely underestimate how important Tomura and Toshinori actually are to each other's respective arcs, and those arcs are now converging. Like, I don't want to see ppl feigning surprise when their arcs finally overlap with each other, lmao.

Side note, but Stain being a central catalyst character for both Toshi and Tomura + also being the trigger for Tomura doubling down on his villainy + ALSO being one of the many key triggers that will likely lead to Tomura's salvation feels.... bizarrely fitting?? Without Stain, Tomura never seeks out Izuku at the mall, never meets Toga + Touya + Spinner (ESPECIALLY SPINNER), and remains forever at odds with Toshi due to both men remaining stuck in their respective hero/villain roles and being utterly unable to truly *SEE* each other outside those roles. Stain is literally a load bearing wall lmao ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Bkgo going from "stock bully" to someone who practically has to beg Toshinori and Izuku to take their fucking Lexapro while tears stream down his face is the funniest direction his character arc could have taken, but it’s also the best direction it could've taken.

↑ In Bakugo's case, it's obvious why he has a role in Toshinori's arc about living and it's completely fair to include him in a list of people who are most important and influential to that particular arc. There's no need for explanation and no question about what his role in the upcoming chapters will be.

Also I keep seeing people say that the suicide move was meant to be Toshi's homage to Bakugo when, like... it very clearly wasn't. 💀💀💀 Like, Bakugo does have a right to be upset that Toshi was planning to kill himself just to buy them all a few extra seconds of time against AFO-- but I feel like people kind of....?? Don't understand Bakugo's character development if they seriously think he would yell at or guilt-trip Toshi about it. He didn't yell at Izuku when Izuku hit rock bottom, and he knows that Izuku and Toshi suffer from the same feelings of worthlessness and lack of regard for themselves better than anyone. - - - - - - - - - -

Anyway, I think the real root of the issue is actually less about Stain and more so that people are just mad about All Might lmao. One quarter of the fandom thinks he should've died in Kamino, another quarter thinks he should just die now, another quarter thinks that Iron Might is character assassination, a chunk of folks just don't care, and whatever's left over is the handful of old man enthusiasts who think that it's truly lovely (myself included)-- Iron Might is fully intended to be a love letter to everything Toshinori loves and wants to protect, himself included. Criticize it if you like, but if you can't at least acknowledge that much, then something in your heart is dead.

I also feel like also there's something to be said here abt how fandom approaches older adult characters w mental health problems & who struggle with suicidal ideation vs. how they approach the younger characters-- Like, I've seen a shocking lack of sympathy for Toshi from the same people who are very considerate to characters like Touya and Tomura, and I've seen otherwise kind people calling Toshi a "whiner" for what are obvious symptoms of SEVERE depression. These characters all have wildly different circumstances, yes-- but they all struggle with suicidality that manifests in different ways, and I feel they all deserve a more compassionate, delicate reading into their specific arcs and their respective actions as a result. 

Toshi's arc and his struggles with mental health in particular is something I feel is handled in such a deeply kind way. The story never once disparages Toshi for backsliding, or treats him as selfish or a lost cause for continuing to struggle even though there are so many people supporting him and encouraging him to live. The story is kind, but the fandom isn't, and that's a bit of a tragedy. (and like, this is probably tmi, but I've struggled with my own mental health since middle school and the suicidal ideation really never goes away no matter how well I'm doing in life-- so.... I'm so happy to see a character with similar issues being depicted so kindly in a story, lol.) 

Anyway!

"something something they hate him for being a slut and all the killings something something"

Yeah, they hated him b/c his ass was fat, or whatever those crazy kids are saying these days. <- fully aware that Stain is flat as a board.

#like ur fave's ass might be fat but is it LOAD BEARING WALL fat?? didn't think so. that trunk is where stain stores his massive plot impact. #sophie.txt #mha spoilers #(sorry this turned into a rant and thank u for the ask! lol) #yagi toshinori #akaguro chizome #suicide mention #suicide cw

[upagainstthesunset]

Had this in my drafts for like a month. Instead of taking asks, I'm going through and answering all of these from Character development questions for couples for Heartbeat and Metron. It's been a while since I've posted about them and these are always a fun way to grease the mental wheels.

1. What, specifically, was the catalyst for their physical attraction (if applicable) to the other character? In other words, what in particular had them like “Oh, they’re...hot...”

Neither thinks the other is particularly attractive. I dont think Metron even feels physical attraction. As for Heartbeat, she's the kind of person who starts liking someone physically after she's already got feelings for them. I'm sure she thought Metron was pasty and old looking (because he is), but he really grew on her. Hard to say when though. Maybe gradually since she first opened her eyes and saw him standing over her.

2. Does this change over time? What things do they find “hot” about their partner after they’ve been together for some time, and have had more time to, well, notice and appreciate?

Heartbeat really likes how pragmatic Metron is. A lot of the things others loathe about him she sort of enjoys. And yeah the more she gets to know him, the more she becomes "into" him.

Over time Metron comes to understand that Heartbeat is someone he can trust. He goes through life assuming everyone has ulterior motives, and he likes using that to his advantage. But Heartbeat hides nothing from him. He doesn't like that but he also does. And eventually it means a lot to him. He knows that she's on his side.

I realize im not really answering what these questions are trying to get at, but im going with what comes to mind, especially since its not like theyre actually a couple or anything.

3. By contrast, what was the moment that first made their ~heart~ Soft for the other person? Not necessarily a conscious realization of “I love this person,” but a moment that had them like “Oh...I adore them...”

Metron only realizes when he's about to lose her bc he's an idiot. But in smaller ways, he enjoys repressing the fact that he likes hearing her in the other room while he's working. So probably the first time he became conscious of that. He misinterprets what few feelings he has bc theyre so foreign to him.

Heartbeat's first time feeling that way was when she felt taken care of by him. Again, it starts so small it's almost imperceptible, then it builds. So she doesnt even realize she feels this way until much later.

4. Does this change over time? What will always reliably make them melt with how much they adore the other character?

Just them being them. They like each other just as they are. (Some real Bridget Jones shit i know lol)

5. How do they consciously realize that they like the other character? Does it take them a while?

It takes them a frustratingly long time. If i could write a thousand chapters maybe they still would never get together. Heartbeat realizes first, and at some point down the road will tell Metron. And he isnt going to reciprocate. So yeah. It takes him A While.

6. How do they react to the realization that they like the other character? Is it an “oh my god I’m never going to think about this again” thing, or are they pretty comfortable with it?

Metron represses. Heartbeat isnt sure if her feelings are really hers, or if theyre rooted in the fact she has his Mother Box in her chest. It worries her that confessing any feelings to him would be dishonest. But dont worry, she'll get it sorted out sometime.

7. Do they (or would they) pursue the other character’s affection, and if so, how? Do they tell the other character how they feel? Try to earn their admiration? Woo them with romantic gestures? Flirt with them, skillfully or otherwise?

Heartbeat will try unsuccessfully in most ways. But its a question of what is the ultimate goal in this area? They already spend their time together, are closer to each other than anyone else, care for each other, understand each other. So is the physical part necessary? Is a word like "dating" necessary? Where does the line between platonic and romantic love get drawn? This is what i really like about having a ship where one of the parties is practically unshippable by conventional standards. Anyway, Heartbeat's constant chiding and ribbing will slowly morph into what we might as well call their version of flirting. And even after any confessions, thats where things level out to.

8. What do they think about romantic love? Do they have baggage surrounding it? Do they idealize it? Is it an object of longing and wanting, or were they really not thinking about it until they started falling for the other character? What are their expectations like?

Heartbeat thinks its fascinating and fun. Her highest priority is of course getting her memory and her life back, especially at first, so she isnt really thinking about romance. Metron thinks romantic love is a distraction and a waste of time. It drives people to make bad decisions. I mean, he's not wrong.

9. What do they think about commitment? Is a long-term partnership the goal? Are they thinking about building a life with their partner, or are they focused on the present?

Metron realizes at some point that he wants Heartbeat to stay indefinitely, and he is crest fallen when he realizes she isnt going to. And from Heartbeat's perspective, she never thought of that as an option since she's so hooked on figuring out her powers and going home.

I will say, the story i have in mind is three major arcs. The first is them getting to know each other and dealing with Darkseid and Metron's betrayal. At the end of that Heartbeat taps into her powers. The second arc is more episodic and they go on adventures, ultimately finding a race of beings that can restore her memory and send her home. This arc ends with her regretting her choice and Metron realizing he wants her to stay. And the third arc is the most half baked so we dont need to go into it. ANYWAY i mention this bc how they feel at different points in the two arcs means different answers to all these questions. Okay moving on now.

10. What scares them about entering a relationship?

Metron is scared that if he has even an inkling of feelings for Heartbeat, he cant trust himself and that his judgment is clouded. Heartbeat is very much intimidated by the fact that Metron is a god. Every once in a while something will remind her of this and it kind of sends her reeling. She doesnt feel worthy of his time and attention sometimes. It overwhelms her and makes her heart race.

11. What fears, past traumas, etc. would be hardest for them to talk about with their partner?

Well Metron stands by everything he's ever done. Even if in hindsight he thinks he didnt make the best move, he certainly harbors no guilt over past actions. His choices were the right choices at the time and thats that. And Heartbeat has amnesia soooo kind of a moot point. Oh, she will be VERY nervous when it comes time to tell him how she feels. So there's that.

12. How much independence do they prefer in a relationship—do they want to share their lives as much as possible with their partner, or do they prefer to mostly do their own thing and let their partner do their own thing?

Theyre not codependent even though of course at first Heartbeat has to rely on Metron a lot. They spend a lot of time together, but arent going to be upset if they have business apart. But i think they both dont want their adventures together to end. Id describe them as enjoying going places together and also preferring to work separately but in the same room. That kind of vibe.

13. What is their go-to for making a partner feel loved?

Metron takes Heartbeat places and shows her things. I feel like he actually loves show and tell. This is a man Obsessed with learning, and why would you want to learn about stuff you don't care about? So i posit he is enamored and fascinated with all the strange and beautiful things in the universe. He might not appreciate them in the way most people would, but rather in his own weird cold Metron way. And with that, sharing those things with someone might as well be his love language. And then Heartbeat makes Metron feel annoyed by getting under his skin lol.

14. What makes them feel loved? Would they build up the courage to ask for it?

Heartbeat feels loved by receiving attention and being taken care of. Pretty simple. Metron doesnt want to feel loved, but he wouldnt invalidate Heartbeat's feelings when she does finally tell him. Rather, hes true neutral about it. She tells him and hes like "oh okay so anyway this speed force thing..."

15. What, for them, constitutes a level of intimacy that they would only rarely share with someone? This can be physical, emotional, etc.

Heartbeat is a physical person if she feels comfortable. Its how she feels connected to some one. So likewise, if someone touches her it means something to her. And I guess for Metron, a rare kind of intimacy comes in the form of taking someone on as a companion, protege or successor. Its not a romantic thing, but a closeness thing. Its trust.

16. If they had the ability to just spend free time with their partner, what would they do? Would they go out or stay inside?

Theyd go visit some alien civilization and get into mishaps or shenanigans there.

17. Under what circumstances would they want to be left alone by their partner?

Metron needs to be unbothered when he has to think deeply or when he's working on something delicate. Heartbeat needs to be away from him if he does something to upset her. She might be the kind of person that storms off and needs time alone to cool down.

18. They’re going through something incredibly difficult—perhaps they’re very sick, have lost a loved one, or have gone through a traumatic event. Do they ask for or accept support and care from their partner, or try to isolate themselves?

Heartbeat is literally going through trauma as soon as the story starts, and its weird bc he is there for her in that he's present and making sure shes healthy. But he isnt at all there for her emotionally. Instead he studies her. Its very cold. She wants him to help her though. She wants him to tell her its going to be okay.

I havent thought from Metron's perspective. If he was going through something, maybe injured, maybe suffering a dip in mental abilities, of course Heartbeat would try to help him. I think hed try to push her away though. Maybe? Bc of his hubris? That kind of thing in arc 2 could help develop why he wants her to stay when he realizes it actually ISNT bad to let her help him.

19. Are they okay with public displays of affection? Do they like them?

No! Lol. Metron would never, and Heartbeat would be mortified. Like even in her wildest dreams if they did become physically involved even just a little, no way does she want others to see. Imagine kissing Metron and then Orion sees that? Nightmare situation. Nope. IF anything ever happens, she wants it to stay between the two of them.

20. When would they say “I love you?” Do they say it first? Do they say it often, or is it reserved for special moments?

Metron will never say it. Never. Heartbeat might during the confession. Maybe very, very, very rarely after that. Only at times that would be impactful storywise.

21. If sex is something that would be part of a relationship for them, do both or either of them have prior experiences? If not, how do they feel about it?

Okay so any sex topics im going to answer from a non-canon fanfiction of my own story kind of way. So just be aware.

Metron basically has to be experienced right? With all he's seen and done and years he's lived? I like the idea that he can have sex but isnt really that into it, and doesnt seek it out. But morally he's neutral about it. Its a thing that doesnt matter either way. I think thatd be an interesting way to take his character.

Heartbeat is a very average human and does have desires. Itches that need to be scratched, we'll say. And she's had her own experiences, but nothing of note. Plus she doesnt remember any of that.

22. What does sex mean for them? Socially, religiously, what attitudes are they bringing with them? Is “virginity” something they care about? Do they want sexual experiences to occur within a certain “level” of relationship, or does that not really matter so much to them?

Since Heartbeat is conscious of physical interactions, its very intimate and she wouldn't do it with just whoever. I don't think either of them care about virginity or have any religious leanings. Metron doesn't care for sex but understands its an incredibly common thing for most species.

23. How comfortable are they talking about, and openly communicating during, sex?

Heartbeat gets nervous and embarrassed. Metron is the same as he always is ... which im sure makes it very weird.

24. What would their partner do that would really turn them on, perhaps unintentionally?

Nothing is going to especially turn Metron on right? Like he isnt immune to physical stimulation but that's gotta be about it. Maybe he likes having his massive ego stroked lol. And i dont actually know for Heartbeat. Im not sure yet what fits her. I think maybe something like Metron telling her mid-sex (plainly and flatly) that shes the only one hed do this with.

25. They accidentally hurt or upset their partner. What happened? How do they respond? What do they do to make their partner feel better?

Metron is probably going to make things worse before he makes them better. Heartbeat wouldnt realize she's hurt him, but she does find out shed be genuinely apologetic and direct about it.

26. They have an argument with their partner—what is it about? Do things stay respectful, or is there some shouting and accusing going on?

Oh there's going to be shouting. Heartbeat's going to be emotional and Metron's not going to get it. Its going to be when she finds out he was using her, like more than he had already told her.

27. They have to apologize to their partner. Is this difficult for them? How do they approach it?

In this case its going to get resolved by Heartbeat coming to understand how she truly feels and acknowledging it and other spoilery type stuff for the end of arc one. Metron isnt going to apologize, but he is going to treat her better.

28. How do they feel about the prospect of parenthood? Do they plan on it? How would they react if they suddenly found out they were going to be a parent?

In my heart of hearts and headcanon of headcanons, Metron is sterile. Also no way does Heartbeat want kids any time soon. It would be an interesting filler story if they had to foster a kid for a while or something. Its be a mess but i bet itd be a fun story.

29. What compromises are they making in their relationship?

Heartbeat has to adapt to her surroundings and accept that the present is just as important as the past she lost. So that applies to her relationship with Metron too bc he is very much part of the present. Its not compromise, but more something to come to terms with. And Metron has to learn to be considerate of someone.

30. What completely petty topic (music taste, favorite food) do they find themselves completely at odds with their partner about?

Not petty, but how they treat others.

31. What little thing do they find incredibly (though harmlessly) annoying about their partner?

Sometimes (often) Metron's ego gets on Heartbeat's nerves and she wants to take him down a peg, which in and of itself is hilarious bc hes a god and shes just there with no memory sassing him right out the gate. And i think shed bother Metron kind of often just by being around bc he's used to being solo, especially if hes working on something.

32. How do their friends react to finding out they’re a couple? Do they have lots of mutual friends? Did their friends know, perhaps before they themselves did?

They're not really a couple, but i think people around them get suspicious maybe theyve got chemistry between them before they realize themselves. And there are gonna be rumors in Supertown. Gossip that Metron is keeping some young woman in his quarters. Lol the scandal. Heartbeat wont be aware of this, but Metron will know and do nothing to correct it bc he doesnt waste time indulging gossip. Don't worry though, Lightray will help clear things up ha ha.

33. Under what circumstances would they feel jealous?

Im not sure if its out of character, but maybe if the other gave more respect or adoration to someone else? Idk, i dont really have a good answer for this one.

34. Under what circumstances would they feel protective?

Heartbeat feels a bit protective when people treat Metron poorly bc of his cold nature (and past crimes tbh). She wishes they understood him better. And he's protective of her at first as an asset he's acquired, but over time he just wants her to be safe and well.

35. Would they get a pet? What kind? Who brings up the idea, and who takes a little longer to convince?

I dont really see them with a pet. Metron doesnt understand the point of one, and Heartbeat's kind of gotta figure out her own shit. Cant have a pet to take care of. But Metron does have some little robot helper things he's made, does that count?

Well this was fun. And it was good exercise to start thinking about these two from a relationship perspective. I know a lot of questions dont really apply to them bc theyre not together, but they do have a relationship and there are some sort of feelings in there in a way.

#ocheartbeat #otpsmartbeat #metron if i fits i sits

[thefirstknife]

first thank you for compiling all those posts, it was fascinating to read through especially since i knew there had to be depth to mara and uldren as characters to inform their decisions/the way the lore plays out. i knew mara to be an incredibly complex character, though i will admit i avoid reading much about her because the way she is presented in game is uncomfortable to say the least. (mostly personal feelings/experiences, but probably partially intentionally as well) regardless, a couple questions. number one would be your thoughts on this well intentioned manipulation from mara. though the answer might be in her current character development, i wonder why its more acceptable to strip agency when its 'for their own good'. i do think thats pretty integral to mara, her driving things through her own admittedly vast insights towards the greater good, and while theres an interesting debate to be had on the morality of it, youre right to point out that the morality sort of is a moot point when she is staring down the metaphorical barrel of a gun. im simultaneously fascinated to see where her development goes while not wanting to forgive the shortcomings of her actions. i acknowledge shes done and continues to do the best she can but ugh. why has it taken so long? (i mean, obviously because she hasnt had a catalyst to spur her development like she does now, but well) i do feel for her which is honestly surprising considering i really didnt before i sent that first ask. but anyway, my second question. savathun being the one to deliver uldrens memories to crow... truth be told, i assumed it to be as neutral a way as anything, as it seemed she just... unlocked the memories from his/uldrens perspective a la deepsight/darkness memory shenanigans rather than trying to spin it one way or another. probably naive of me considering its literally savathun, and its more likely than not to have been an intentional attempt to harm him, but i dunno. something about cutting to heal. lancing a wound to drain the rot. again, probably naive, but i also have in the back of my mind the lore where savathun is feeling something (positive i presume, affection, nostalgia? who knows) when at the bonfire with crow and the guardian. if i remember right sav draws connections to her siblings, and is reeling against some uninvited feelings this conjures. makes me wonder how much she is or isnt sympathising with crow (and on that note, osiris. her lines during the glykon exploration, about the folly of her youth, blends really close to osiris. almost like she wasnt exactly lying directly, but through omission of context). she says it herself that she feels sympathy for crow, but again. savathun. narratively i think it was important things played out this way, but had they chosen to write uldren/crows story to follow the plans mara laid out, are we 100% sure that the two of them wouldntve just fallen into the same pitfalls as before, with crow trying to impress, and mara manipulating 'for his own good'? do you think she could have succeeded in achieving the crow we see now after severance without all the drama? should she even have had to? maybe it was good for her not to have to undertake the same role she always had with uldren, being a star for him to follow. gah, i have to sleep, but man do i have a lot of thoughts. anyway, thanks again for the first response! i have worms in my brain.

You're welcome!

For the first question, about how Mara wanted to manipulate/shape Uldren into something else: I don't think it was good ultimately. Mara even admits that it wasn't. At first she's only talking about how it's because she failed, but later she becomes much more open about how much the idea sucked no matter what (especially after she talks more to Ikora and Crow in particular, but also after all the stresses of dealing with Savathun). Uldren was always reckless, even as a human and she hated it because she was basically tasked with raising him and she had her own issues. She wanted so badly to make him different, but it failed and she made it worse. It took her time to realise that the idea itself was flawed from the start. Seeing as she accepted Crow and her responsibilities over Uldren's fate, she definitely changed her tune. We probably won't get a full explicit apology from her, but then again, that's between her and Crow.

Second question about Savathun and Crow's memories: the biggest problem with Savathun doing it was that we have no clue what she did to him and how she did it so we couldn't intervene to help him. Did she give him everything? Only the bad stuff? Only stuff about Uldren after he got corrupted? It was also... a lot to dump on a person at once. Uldren lived for thousands of years and there were some truly gruesome memories in there, especially post Black Garden. It could've seriously hurt Crow to get him exposed for example to the memory of the Black Heart. It's also the emotional impact of finding out that every single person you trusted lied to you in the worst way. Like, YW participated in killing Uldren and Crow trusted us as a friend. And then he got a memory of being at the other end of our gun.

Savathun definitely had some legitimate feelings for Crow however. She's a very complex character as well and the feelings she experienced while watching YW and Crow were genuine. She also admitted that she has a soft spot for "exiles." She latched onto Crow and Osiris, but also previously she also gave a safe haven of sorts to her nephew, Nokris, who was exiled for heresy. She herself was also exiled. I would say those feelings were definitely as genuine as possible when it comes to Savathun. However, the way she dumped Uldren's memories on Crow was still traumatic and ultimately a bad way to deal with such a sensitive situation.

As for the third what-if scenario: I genuinely have no clue. Had Mara's original plans worked out perfectly in every detail... Who knows. If Uldren never went to the Black Garden and never got corrupted and Mara never died to Oryx and... There are too many variables. I personally think it wouldn't have been as compelling as a story. The Sov siblings are incredibly well written characters who have a lot of complexity and a lot to offer to the storytelling as they are now. I honestly wouldn't want it any other way. Their story is full of tragedy, but also change and hope, as it is with Destiny.

#destiny 2 #mara #uldren #lore vibing #long post #yw is also a huge factor here especially for the last bit #both mara and uldren hated guardians at first and they both went through their own hardships to change that #uldren died and became a guardian. mara had to accept that and had to accept that she needs our help #she needed to be humbled and she needed to understand that she cannot fight the universe alone #she went from absolutely detesting the yw to trusting us with her brother's life and telling her deepest secrets to us #and now with crow she was forced to stop viewing guardians as just tools #poetic cinema

[furys-mercy]

What, specifically, was the catalyst for their physical attraction (if applicable) to the other character? In other words, what in particular had them like “Oh, they’re…hot…”

all three :p

"I guess fer Tai it came later. Tha' ain't ta say I didn't notice until then, jus'... it didn't hit me in a way other'n passin', right? Like sometimes ya meet folks an' ya think they're nice ta look at, but then ya never think 'bout it again... until ya do? It's like tha'." Mercer seems to be incapable of making any facial expression other than the dopey grins he reserves for his partners. "We were out in Garlemald dealin' with some shite a friend had gotten inta. An' I dunno. Somethin' 'bout tha way he moves on tha field jus'..." The machinist runs a hand through his hair. "It's fuckin' hot an' it's fuckin' lethal an' I could watch 'im do it all damned day."

He takes a deep breath, clearly trying to focus on the question and not end up lost to his daydreams. "Stari's different. Tha' ain't ta say he can't be lethal, but there's a beauty there tha's jus' entirely unmatched. Tha way tha light bounces off 'is hair an' his tail dances 'round when he's excited. Every li'l freckle... he's jus' beautiful. Inside an' out. I ain't sure I can tell ya when exactly I noticed. Ain't sure it was one moment, really. More of a collection'a little ones where the sun caught 'im jus' right or he wore tha perfect dress. Ya know wha' I mean, right?"

((Thanks for the ask! I did Khala on a different post so here are the other two!))

#asks #ask me anything #asked and answered #ic ask

[baeshijima]

do it you coward 👺👺👺

EXPAND ON UR TRANSMIGRATION IDEA!!!

i am (aggressively) enabling you rn

and its been awhile since i sent you an ask since ive been busy w school (which sucked for like 4 days since i didnt have anyone to talk to but FINALLY i gathered enough courage to atleast talk to my seatmate ;w;

AND SHE ACTUALLY PLAYS GENSHIN IM SO HAPPY 😭😭😭

>:0 i am NOT a coward. the audacity rn smh

BUT OKAY 😩

so basically, instead of you being the transmigrator (i already have an otome game one in the works where ur the transmigrator so this balances out) you're one of the "characters" from the original. aether and lumine will take the place of the transmigrator since canonically they also come from another world anyway !!

the basic premise of this falls in line with usual transmigration stories, except you're not an all-knowing being but someone else is, so you would be an unreliable narrator in this case where the twins seem a bit too all-knowing and perceptive. i think having you be a favourite character of theirs from a novel would be fun, but you would be a side character as opposed to the main character. honestly i don't think you would be from a romance novel, maybe apocalyptic or mystery based could be more fun to explore, where you were unfairly killed off — unprovoked — which caused a massive stir amongst the readers. obviously the writer did it for the plot development and as motive for the main character, but the twins in particular left a lengthy review saying your death was extremely unnecessary and cheap. sure enough, they find themselves in your world only mere moments before you're struck down.

they save you, you're grateful, and they vow to protect you from here on out after successfully saving you from your original demise (not that you know that of course). of course, this affects the original plot line significantly as you're no longer a catalyst for the main character's motive for revenge on your behalf, so everything could be thrown off course, but who were the twins to worry about that? you're still alive, and that's all that matters!

what they didn't take into consideration, however, is that plot is there for a reason, and they only realise that after the nth attempt against you. through that they encounter the rest of the cast:

the main character, diluc, who you share a close childhood bond with. his appearance in front of them is disheveled and panicked, chiding you about not contacting him with the recent rise in casualties in your area. they didn’t think much of it, and even felt touched considering this meeting with you wouldn’t be possible if not for their intervention. though their empathy is short-lived when he begins to tag-along with your small group, constantly appearing between them and you. (is he doing this on purpose?)

the investigator, heizou, who has been following this case for quite some time now. the twins have wondered how long they would be able to evade the sly detective, though perhaps they should have held their tongue as he came hurtling after seeing you, identifying you as the one who’s had the most attempts directed towards — this didn’t bode well with diluc, who instigated a long-lasting lecture about safety with you. heizou was curious to know why they seemed so hell-bent on going after you so he, too, joined your reluctantly growing group.

(there are more but i cant think of them rn so im leaving this blank but they do include childe, ayato, albedo and maybe zhongli)

a man they’ve never heard or read about turned up beside you uninvited one day, and they soon learned his name to be dainsleif. he was of the rather cryptic sort and had countless suspicions surrounding him, but he provided them with useful intel on the attackers so he was, begrudgingly, allowed to stay. somehow he seemed to have formed a friendship with you, something that kindled the protective instincts within a few members, but seemingly ignored or brushed off the rest. he was indeed a mystery, but his instincts and prowess speak volumes for his capabilities.

tldr; ur caught in the middle of a mystery murder and a bunch of guys & lumine form a circle to protect u from the outside world

#omg a convo !? #mutuals !! #sophie talks : concepts <3 #idk man diluc just fits angsty revenge driven mystery murder mcs a bit too well #i got carried away and had to cut down a significant amount before i ended up writing the whole thing by accident #hence the shortage of cast info HJDSK #BUT THATS SO COOL OF U AND UR SEATMATE THO !!!!!

[sebastian-speaks]

you know ever since becoming the host of this system ive really started looking in to my sexuality and such, which is hard to do because of my role as a sexual protector. its hard to find the difference between what i really feel and what i was made to do. who im really attracted to versus who i feel like i have to be attracted to.

for a while i thought i was gay. that i liked men and only men. but i think it was really only the thought of that. i had labelled myself as gay so i kind of only chose men to be "attracted" to. which i realize now was just me trying to conform to something. i just wanted something to be stable.

i think what brought me out of this was that time i kissed my friend. him and i were pretty close at the time and we were very much not sober and ended up making out a little bit. at the time i dont think i really noticed anything- but the days after i realized that it was probably one of the most triggering things i've done in a while. im not usually a touchy person so i didn't really know how i would react to those things- especially with men. and when i think about it more, that might have been the catalyst for the shitshow that was the next two weeks. the next time we did that particular drug things got pretty physical with him- and again, it wasn't triggering at the time, but the next few weeks were full pf flashbacks and pulling away from him.

im pretty sure that was the start of my questioning. i had been in a relationship that ended a few months prior, and honestly i never saw it as real. the whole thing had started when his friend said he was in to me and i guess i made up all of my feelings for him from that point on. it was miserable. i never actually liked him- but the whole time i thought i did. i thought "this is what romance feels like".

enough with that- after the whole thing with my friend i sort of pulled away from him. we didn't talk as much. i guess i was subconsciously a little scared of him even, an irrational fear i know now, but it didn't make sense to me then.

but very shortly after, everything changed. the other person in the group had a kind of fwb type of thing going on with the guy. and she talked to me about it. a lot. she would tell me about how she felt about him and such. how much she cared about him. and dont get me wrong- im glad i was the person she went to to talk about it. im glad i was able to be that person for her. but at the same time, hearing about that bond between them made me feel bad. it very well could have just been me being pissy about third wheeling. but i think i just wanted to be cared about in that way.

their thing ended. i was scared that it would mess up the friend group. it did not. i then left the country for two weeks. over those two weeks, me and her started talking WAY more. we were both in europe while the other friend was still in the states, so our time zones were close enough to still talk regularly. we talked a lot and i feel we got a lot closer

after getting back i was home for a few weeks before leaving the state for another two, and i remember a few days before leaving again her and i got very drunk. we ended up making out for a few hours and thats when it hit me. those two weeks i spent out of state ended up just being me questioning everything. at first i thought i was crushing on her- i realized very quickly that i was not. it was more of a i just wanted to be closer to her. i wanted to be someone to her. and i figured out then that romance was not my thing. at all. that i was aromantic and loved my best friend to pieces.

when i got home pretty much the first thing we did as a group was get drunk. and yeah we made out again. but we also talked about it. how we felt and such. a few days later we did some other drugs and talked about it even more. later that week we got together and actually talked about it sober. we agreed that it was nothing romantic.

how do i see it? a more than friends type thing but still platonic. i love her. i love her so much. so much more than she knows. i just want to be around her because she makes me happy. being out of state again is making me realize this more. i love how excited she gets when talking about the little things that make her happy. i love how much she cares. and i miss her. i miss her so much. i miss the sound of her voice. i miss being around her. shes just so great. not to mention shes fucking gorgeous-

i think i have it figured out now though. i know im aromantic and im content with that. im happy where im at now and im hoping it just gets better from here. im getting back home in a few days and im crossing my fingers that we'll be able to see each other.

anyways xoxo, sebastian:)

ill probably be using this blog for stories like this! hooray!

[aroace-cat-lady]

2 and 6?

uhhh not sure which one you want eme to answer, so im gonna do all of them.

Water:

its chemical structure makes it perfect as universal solvent. It has the ability to form hydrogen bonds, that are really important when you start talking about protein structures, and it just has multiple physical qualities that makes it one of the most important biomolecules in living systems: thermoregulation, its density, dipolar moment, superficial tension, osmolarity, etc,

Enzymes:

These are protein catalysts. Their work is to make break, form, or change specific molecules in the speed the body needs them. Without them, there is no way the body could keep up the chemical reactions in time (it would take too long) They have very specific structure: a protein part, a no protein part (coenzyme or cofactor) an an active site, thats shape to fit with one particular molecule, and if its altered, the enzyme cant work anymore.

Vitamins:

They work as coenzymes, which means are needed in most of the reactions that keep the body moving. I already answered what happens when theres a deficiency here.

Proteins:

These are the most variant biomolecules of living systems. They have multiple function, thats determinate by their final structure. But they share some similarities in the basic structures, so that's why they are put together. The way their work and the reasons what they are needed are very diverse, and they can go from giving the body the right structure (ej collagen: skin, bones, tendons, blood vessels, etc) or bonding with other molecules to take them somewhere else (ej hemoglobin: takes the oxygen to the rest of the tissues)

Electrons Transport Chain:

This one it's responsable of the production of H2O and the liberation of the hydrogen molecules that will make the ATP synthase (enzyme ;)) start working and produce ATP, thats the main energy generator molecule.

Well. Thanks anon.

[rainmonarch]

.

#tbh ive been having oc x oc brain worms today #but ive also been dumping all of my bad experiences with southern protestant culture into scout #its been a little cathartic #im thinkin that there was a huge buildup to them running away #and im not sure what the particular catalyst was #but they definitely were being groomed to take over the general store #and id say they had a partner/childhood best friend that everyone was expecting them to marry #i imagine this is an area where people start families Very young and so even tho it wasnt happening yet scout knew they were #running out of time #when they werent working in the store their mom put them in charge of all the kids #and that just really clashed with their personality #they dont like being responsible #they like independence #they love to play #taking their parents place as general store shopkeeper was just not what they wanted #even though they ended up running the shop with asra in vesuvia #mel posts stuff

[normal-thoughts-official]

Umm what are your thoughts on Magnus thinking Raphael doesn't need him anymore

Y̴̖̳̏͐̓͝͝͝O̴͉͔̪͙͎͌̋̊̽̚Ü̴̦ ̵̡̧͍̙͎̤̓͜F̵̺̹̼̫̳̻̖̓̈́̎Ơ̵͈̟̘̼̲O̴̤̻̭̻̟̺̖͗̆͌͒͆͊͂L̴̨͚̝̟̙̥͆̏. you absolute idiot. my thoughts on magnus thinking raphael doesn't need him anymore??????????????? C̶̨̛̖̘̜̟̪̱͗̈́̓̑̋͛́̽͛̃̑̈́Ą̵̢̣͕̥͚̩͔̗̤͙̺͝ͅN̷̢̜͇̪͖̫͓̦̟̰͎͈̫͔̹͌̓̏̐̔̊̽͝ͅ'̵̩͇͐̅͌͋̕T̵̡̡̼̰̼̯͇̝̗̼̫̝̺̝͖͑̀̒͛̈͘͜ͅ ̷̧̘̬͕̯̘͇̹̳͔̑̓͜Y̷̨̥̙̻̣̯̦̓̏̏̂̒͐̕Ơ̸̭͔̤̤̮̙͇͙͇͙̩͐̌̂̈́̐̇̌̌̕̚͝U̴̢̡͙͕̖̥̗̔̿̒̓̉̓͌ͅ ̶̺͚̯͙̘̦̻͚͒͒̍͗̌̚͜͠S̶̢͆̉́̋̈́́Ȩ̵̪͚̹͉͉͉̼̱͖̏ͅĘ̶̛̞̣͚̲̳̻̪̤̲͎̳̠̻̎̊̽̀̉̑͝ ̴̧̛̫͖͍̺͙͓͈̹͕͛͊͊̓͋̄͑͗̉͆͠͝T̵̡͍̱͍̙͈̞͍̪̭͌̄͂̎͑͂Ḩ̴̧̫̪͖̫̞̞̀̔̾̿̃͗̋͐̌͊̀̕̚È̴̢̨͓̞̠̲̱̠͉̾̀ ̴̢͇͈̣͙̝̭͔̰͔̫̦̈́̀͘Ṁ̶̡͓̖̭̩̱̗̗̘̯̖̹͖̳̭̙̺͋͐̈Ḭ̷̢̧̢͔̙̪̣̞̣͙̘̑͌̈́̐̾̅̆́̆̑̃͋͒͒̎͠Ş̵̱̘̰͓̫̦̺͚̙̹͚̗͎̭̠͆̀̏͐͋͗̈́T̷̢̡̡̛̪̝̟̻̠̼̦̦̰̦̗͓̣͌̌̐̋͊̐̔͛̕Ą̵͔͉̜̪̦͓̗̤͇͖̘͓̱̰̜̈͒̍̊͂ͅK̵̛͈̜̱͉̜̖͈̈́́̒̀̐͒́̂̔͆̾̏̂͂̕̕E̸̡͓̣̪̮͉̮̻̹̰̒́̾̋ ̴̡̮̝̝͇̫̮̭̞̦̘̙̥̥̗͒̿͝ͅY̷̡̨͙̝̰̗̗̫͛́̕͜͠͝Ō̵̬Ų̶̡̖̗͙̞̲̺͖̣͉̜̿́͒͆́̏̚͠ͅ'̵̮̭̗̙̘̰͍̥̣̪̩̖̦͂̀̋̆̓̉́̅͜R̸̼̤͙̞͚̼̤͆͛͌̄̈́̑͘Ê̸̡̢̩̳̤͙̳̘̲̞̦̳̻̩̔̐̄͐̑̒̿̒̽̈́̌͒̏̚ ̷̛̮̂̈̽̄̇̆̍̄͂̋̒͛͝͝͝M̶̧̢̛͙̮̣͎̮͍̝̪͔͎̘͔̐̊͐̄̃́̄̄͋̆̕͜͝A̵̧̮̙͖͓̭̯̘̪̿͊̌̉̆̄̈́̾̅́͆͋́̾̓͝K̸̘̩̯̼̣͍̠̝͈̤̮̝̻̬̿̈́Ǐ̶͖̹͈̫͙̀͛̀̆͆͊̿͘̕͝Ṋ̸̨̨̗̰͖̳̝͉͑̏̀̀́̂͗͌̽̈G̸̢̰̟̜͎̪̬̞̲͔̘͍̋̆. not only is this one of my favorite angsts ever, nay! you just posted self promo bait!!! i have a whole ass fic about it (link). and you know what the worst part is???? im gonna make a huge ass answer to your question anyway!!!! do you understand how naive you were now??? do you have any idea what you have unleashed?????

ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok. so i think the saddest part about this is magnus' assumption that like... if he isn't useful, he isn't desirable. which we know is 100% how magnus rolls (therapy-needing icon) and would particularly ring true in raphael's case because like... magnus took raphael in when raphael was at his lowest. their relationship was started off by the fact that raphael needed him. and that makes it even harder for magnus to shake that feeling off

like, don't misquote me, it's not raphael's fault and that is not how he sees magnus at all. and i don't think magnus singlehandedly saved raphael or whatever; raphael had to build his own network of ppl and resources to get over his addiction and get back on his feet and build himself back together, as anyone does. no one can carry a burden as big as singlehandedly taking care of any one person, nevermind one in the state rapha was in. but the fact remains: raphael and magnus met when raphael was at his lowest, and they built their relationship because magnus helped him

and magnus knows raphael's got this whole repentance thing going on, he knows that raphael feels like a monster and a burden and like his debt to magnus is unmeasurable. and that makes him second-guess everything about their relationship, imo, because like... raphael probably feels like he has to keep magnus company, he has to do as he says or whatever, because he has a debt

and to some extent it's nice that magnus is like... aware of that imbalance, which is inherent to that situation, but then i think it becomes pretty much... being convinced that raphael doesn't like him and only puts up with him because he has to since he owes magnus

and when magnus "adopted" rapha, magnus was at a particular fragile point. i'm pretty sure rapha was the first person magnus ever let into his life, fully, enough to really know him and his insecurities and his true self, after camille. his other friends - catarina, dot, ragnor, elias - all knew him from before. and we know how after camille magnus locked his heart; yes, he was referring to romantic relationships, but when you are constantly afraid of falling in love with someone in case they will abuse you, you can't fully build platonic relationships either, because there is that wall that is there, a certain level of intimacy that you won't allow yourself

and with that i don't mean that romantic relationships are inherently more intimate or deeper than platonic ones! i mean that to build any sort of intimate relationship, romantic or platonic, you need to be able to allow yourself to be vulnerable, and magnus was obviously not allowing himself that, because he was scared of being vulnerable after it was used so viciously against him the last time he opened up his heart

but magnus is still too caring of a person to leave someone in a state as bad as raphael's - no sire, battling addiction, alone in the streets, probably no knowledge of the shadow world (this is probably where i should add my mandatory disclaimer that i'm not following book canon and i don't care how it went there, i'm talking about the show), no clan, no family, basically no one - alone, so of course he's gonna bring him in for a night and feed him and try to find a way to help him

but then you add to that two facts: 1- magnus is hopelessly affection and touch-starved and desperately needs company; 2- there is not many places raphael can actually go to

so of course magnus lets raphael stay. and it's for his own sake as much as it is for his, because again, magnus is starved, and he is at a point of his recovery where he needs to let people in, even if it's slowly and in a relatively safe situation - like, what can raphael do to hurt him? okay, there's a few things, but still. it's just easier to let yourself be vulnerable when the person you're allowing to see it is someone you've seen equally as or even more vulnerable. especially if they have no connections to people you know, as it is in rapha's case

PLUS, he empathises. i've said it before and i'll say it again, raphael and magnus have so much in common. from background (immigrants, brown, downworlders, one is bi the other is ace which are two groups known for their ties and solidarity with each other, trans if you go by my headcanons which i will because this is my blog and i do what i want) to coping mechanisms (both clearly deal with their problems on their own and try to avoid letting other people help them as much as they can, even if in very different ways - magnus creates a persona so he can be surrounded by people and not let them in too close whereas raphael doesn't let them get close from the get-go), to some of their personal psychological issues (this unbearable responsibility they carry on their shoulders, like everything and everyone is dependant on them and it is on them personally to help everyone they find: see raphael and how involved he got with simon and the way he talked about the other vampires/the clan even before he became clan leader, and magnus and Literally Everyone That Came Into His Path; the feelings of monstrosity they both feel due to their downworlder status and their past; the guilt; the self sacrificial/giving til it hurts tendencies; etc), to a few personality traits (similar sense of humor, both natural leaders, both pretty bold in their own ways; they also have many differences in personality but they are quite compatible/similar in other ways as well).... i could go on. i'm not saying they are Literally The Same Character (that'd be bad writing anyway, and there are notable differences such as raphael being way more recluse than magnus, their different moral codes, etc.) but there is a lot in common, which results in a nice dynamic in which:

they have fun with each other (think "because you're totally unbiased"; that was clearly a tease, neither of them were really upset by it, raphael looked at magnus expectantly like he expected magnus to laugh and magnus just glared at him in a clearly playful way)

they care for each other deeply (think every interaction we got between them or that included them talking about each other to a third person lmao i think this one is undeniable)

they trust each other incredibly (think raphael being tortured and going to magnus before he went to his own clan, then staying at his house, he obviously feels comfortable and safe there more than anywhere else including his own supposed home; and i wish we had gotten to see more of raphael taking care of magnus as well but of course the writers always forgot magnus had friends and family beyond shadowhunters lmao, but still, i think it's undeniable that the trust goes both ways because of the sheer difference in the way magnus treated raphael as opposed to other people who came for his help, including downworlders like simon)

they are openly affectionate with each other in a way they aren't with most people (think them hugging or the way magnus casually touched raphael's face like it was perfectly normal. that is like, the only s3 raphael scene i claim lmao)

hmmm where was i going with this. man i should really get checked for ADHD or whatever

RIGHT they built a nice relationship. which magnus craved!!! he really really needed someone he could be affectionate with, someone he could trust, someone he had fun with! and again, it's not that he didn't have that, but it was the first time he was building a relationship like this again from scratch after camille. plus, i'm sure camille pushed him away from his friends because that's what abusers do, and i'm sure magnus also pushed them away to some extent because again, being vulnerable was hard. but with raphael there was no escaping it. like, he was living at magnus' house

and he needed that! and i think raphael and their relationship had such an important catalyst role in magnus' recovery from camille. not that raphael saved him - again, that's not even possible - but the way their relationship was constructed was essential for magnus to start opening up again. without it i really doubt it would have been possible for him to open up to alec, and i think their relationship and history is extremely overlooked and underrated by the fandom

but like... the fact that he was in such a vulnerable emotional state to begin with, plus the fact that their relationship was kickstarted by the fact that raphael needed him, will obviously lead to him thinking that raphael only puts up with him or whatever because he needs him/feels indebted (because magnus knows at this point that raphael is not the kind to use people, but he also knows that raphael already acts like his mere presence in the world is something he has to make up for it's the catholicism so of course he's gonna feel like he needs to make up for magnus for such a huge gesture. anyone who's not an asshole would, but like, particularly raphael). cue magnus like, probably feeling guilty for getting so attached to raphael because he's an idiot

and like of course raphael feels indebted and grateful but he also does genuinely in fact like magnus (for all the reasons listed above) and also like, he did in fact also need more connections, he had just lost all of his previous ones. but most importantly he does care for magnus and loves him immensely even beyond all that magnus did for him. and he does see magnus as a person and knows about his struggles and vulnerabilities because it's impossible not to when you live/have lived together, and he just... cares and empathises

but also raphael obviously thinks he's a burden to magnus because duh, and i don't think magnus ever really told raphael how much taking raphael in helped him, how much it meant to him and his recovery, how he was doing it for himself as much as he was doing it for rapha, because 1- he's scared of being so open and vulnerable; 2- he's scared of making raphael feel even more guilty; 3- he's stupid and i think part of him assumed it went without saying

like he was always so openly affectionate with raphael (maybe even too much in his eyes, maybe he was scared of being too attached, putting too much on his shoulders, it's not this traumatized kid's job to deal with his issues for fuck's sake) and magnus has always worn his heart in his sleeve and he feels everything so deeply i think he sometimes forgets that it's not actually plain for everyone to see and feel. particularly not non-warlocks, since it's kinda implied that warlocks have some level of sensitivity to each other going on. plus raphael is autistic af so he can't tell what magnus is feeling if magnus doesn't fucking say it, and he has a terminally low self esteem that i assume would be even lower by that point (due to, you know... the general shitshow state his life was in), so of course he doesn't assume he's as important to magnus as magnus is to him, particularly not when he is literally burdening him (in raphael's eyes). so he thinks it's obvious but it's Really Not

so we have like a lot of misunderstanding angst with both of them wanting to get closer but thinking they are imposing on the other and pulling away, and both of them taking the other pulling away as a sign that they aren't comfortable and aaaa

so like i think that rapha would mention moving out so he can get out of magnus' hair, and magnus is all crestfallen because he's so not ready to be alone at home again, but he can't be selfish and hold the kid back just because he has shit he needs to deal with, right? it's not fair

and then like lowkey spiralling afraid that after that he's going to be alone again and raphael won't want to see him anymore, or worse, that he'll force himself to out of pity or guilt, and magnus will just be a chore to him

and raphael feeling like magnus wants to get rid of him and will want him out of his hair and aaaaaaaaaaa

and magnus of course is all put together and excited about it, "yes, my boy, don't worry, i'll help you move" and playfully tilting his head and being all excited and getting into chop-chop mode because as long as he can make himself useful he can avoid thinking about how he's gonna be alone again. and rapha of course taking this as magnus being eager for him to leave

and just doijasiodjasoij they're IDIOTS. i think this would be more or less resolved by raphael because at the very least he has to thank magnus for everything he's done and tell magnus that he means so much to him, that he'll always be thankful. and magnus again is all put together, all "it was nothing, my boy" but rapha pulls him into a hug and suddenly they are Not Letting Each Other Go. like it's tight and maybe they're both shaking a little because Badly Repressed Emotions and they're just. so unwilling to let each other go for what they feel like will be forever because they are sad and dramatic. and raphael even wonders for a second if he's like, super strengthing magnus into the hug by accident, but even when he tries to let go magnus doesn't even notice and is still hugging him tight, so he's like. okay. guess i can stay for a little longer then. and keeps hugging him

and lol i have half a mind to be like "and then raphael ends up staying because neither of them actually wants raphael to leave so what's the point" and actually i think i might be going this route for this particular hc. but of course eventually raphael does leave because you know... kids grow up and all daihdsaioj and i think that they still have some things to resolve, particularly from magnus' side? i think raphael is more in touch with him than the other way around, even if mostly we've seen him coming to magnus for help, but like... that trust is there, you know, and we didn't see a lot of the opposite

i know s3 raphael was fake anyway but like i imagine him finding out that magnus lost his magic and he had no idea or that he lost his home and being like "why didn't you ask for my help?? our help??" because you know all his other friends would have wanted to help him out too, and magnus is just. he doesn't want to be a burden. he feels like if he is, he's going to lose anyone. he needs to be there for them

and it's so much bullshit of course and raphael is pissed - not at magnus, he couldn't be mad at him, but just pissed in general. and he draws magnus in for a hug and tells him that he can always come to raphael, whenever he needs, and raphael will drop everything to help him. the clan is doing okay (especially post-valentine and impending doom and all, you know, they can take care of themselves lmao. like look of course raphael is a very involved leader but you get what i mean, they won't die if he goes help magnus with something) and he has second-in-commands he trusts anyway. and he doesn't want magnus to hide his problems for him and not come for his help and aaa

just.... rapha being like "you think i wouldn't do anything i could for you? anything to make sure you're alright?" and magnus being like "you don't have to" and raphael going, "you didn't have to do it for me either. but you did" "you don't owe me anything" "i do, but this is not about that. magnus, you're my family" and magnus tearing up because it is so immense to him to be someone's family, something he almost can't grasp

and magnus slowly learning that no, raphael doesn't need him, but that's not important because he wants magnus in his life anyway. and they can always rely on each other, no matter what, even if they aren't dependant on each other - and that is a good thing :)

#shadowhunters #sh #raphael santiago #magnus bane #brotp: i'll do whatever it takes to protect them #ask #anonymous #meta #raphael santiago meta #magnus bane meta #q #anti cc #anti tsc #anti tmi #long post

[a-slut-for-smut]

what are your top 10 relationships in aot?

Hmm very interesting question anon- thanks for asking! Idk if i can really rank them since i only have the one OTP, but i can certainly give my 2 cents on the most popular pairings, according to the interwebs.

2 things to keep in mind:

i dont hate/dislike any pairing. I dont care enough to waste energy doing so. I like what i like, other people like what they like- simple as that, i cant understand why its so hard for ppl to grasp this concept

You may be wondering about my recent tag usage because ive been tagging a lot of diff ships- mainly for my anti-SNK139 shitposts. Just had a wild idea that maybe- JUST MAYBE, we could all put aside our differences and just have a laugh at our shared misery. Because idk how any of us are supposed to be happy with this ending. I mean, upon reflection I see what Isayama was going for, but idk its just tough to swallow unlike Levi's fun juice. Which, in my opinion, should be taken as a compliment- the man set the bar so high with the previous arcs that our expectations were thru the roof despite a rushed final arc, and he just...missed the dunk? Anyway hot take, i know.

Ok i digress- to the ask, in no particular order:

Levihan

Cute ship, very fluffy. Who doesn't like best friends to lovers trope? And theres no denying they have mutual respect for each other, which is a huge kink of mine. Honestly, its hard for me to ship a pairing if it isn't evident. That said, does this pairing get my ovaries going? Eh, not particularly but i still likies

Erehisu

I was behind this ship mainly because i was sold on Eren's "Walter White" villain arc. What better catalyst for a dramatic change in character than if their child was involved? The idea that Eren went full Hitler because he got Historia preggers and wanted the child to grow up in a "free" world? What parent wouldnt sell their soul for that goal, given the world they live in? And Historia- grappling with the knowledge/morality of Eren's plan but for the sake of the child? Prime for character development. Not to mention all the blatant crumbs. But Isayama went NOPE.

Eremika

Oh boy. So, firstly, i would have readily accepted this ship if Isayama laid off the one-sidedness a bit. But he didnt. And while im sure there are instances that can be interpreted as mutual affection, i dont see how that excuses all the times Eren snapped at her/just generally annoyed with her attentions. Like, we dont know his POV at all until the very end which retroactively you can say, oh he didnt want to cause her future pain? But by then its too late for US. And in the end (im not clear on this tho/too lazy to check) was it ever made clear to Mikasa that he reciprocated her feelings? Im prob biased/self-projecting here, but I would NOT have stuck around on the off-chance that the dude is faking his disinterest?? Even if he did save my life and is my childhood friend! You dont owe someone love because of that, but because of how you mutually treat one another. Anyway i woulda taken the fucking hint and moved onto Levi's dick, i would never put up with that nonsense

Eruri

These 2 are bonded, to say the least. They hold each other in high regard and i love that about any ship. Good stuff.

Ereri

Doesn't do much in the ovary-dept for me relationship-wise, but man, this ship is popular for a reason. The fanart for this ship is TOP TIER 

Yumihisu

Again, they regarded each other highly and theres no denying they deeply cared for one another. Sometimes love doesnt give a shit what genitals you happen to have, why cant ppl understand this? We all got hearts and souls, that counts for something??

Aruani

The energy for this ship is a little tepid for me. Maybe because her ass was stuck in a crystal 70% of the story, but i liked pre-crystal annie alot. If anything, i preferred her dynamic with Eren more, mainly because Eren respected her so much and she contributed a lot to his character growth in the first arc. Just my preferred dynamic for a ship. Also she kicked his ass so much i was beginning to think he was into it

Jeankasa

Dont mind it at all. I think it lacks a certain degree of intensity that i prefer in my ships, but theres def mutual respect there and im all for it.

Jeanpiku

Thought this was a cute ship that came to bloom in the later chapters. its intriguing dynamic- falling in love with the (former) enemy kind of way.

Rivamika

Uh. Where to start. Actually i wont because this post is long enough as is. Just peruse my blog if you're actually curious ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

#thanks for the ask anon #replies #tagging because i dont know where anon is asking from? #i hope i dont regret tagging this

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression - Episode 46 The filming for the Dir en grey Real Avatar music video.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru with this episode, uh, this week's episode of the Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san...it feels like a while since we were last here.

J, T: Yeah.

K: We've been on location, plus last time we filmed 4 episodes at once. Quite a while has passed since then.

T: It has.

J: Nothing new with you?

K: No, nothing.

T: Hahaha

J: Tokyo Sports seems pretty busy..

T: Yeah, I watched you two recently...on Niconama.

J: Ah, yeh. You wrote an article, thanks for that.

T: I was a bit envious while working on it.

J: Yeh, but what about that Tokyo Sports hoodie? How is it doing?

T: Yeah, it looks like its selling.

J: Right.

T: Thanks to you two.

J: No, no, its thanks to Kaoru, but..

K: No, no, its nothing.

J: You gotta make something else for round two.

T: Yeah, there might be a T-shirt collaboration in the works.

K: Ehh? Im looking forward to that.

J: Eventually we'll have like a The Freedom of Expression x Tokyo Sports collaboration set?

T: Yeh, and we could sell that, then go to Okinawa.

J: Go to Okinawa? Haha.

K: Hahaha.

J: Our plan is steadily progressing that far..

T: Together with you Joe.

J: Yes, please, haha.

K: Ok, so Joe, can I ask you to get us started today?

J: Got it! This is happy news, the news that Dir en grey will screen an avatar music video. Dir en grey will reveal a new music video on New Years Eve from 11:00pm, which includes avatar characters created using 3D scans of the members. The Explosion screenings of 'The World You Live In', have been sold out. So an encore entitled 'The World You Live In - additional' will be held on New Years Eve as an online broadcast. As well as a special talk event with the members, a music video with real avatar characters, made by 3D scanning each member, will be screened. Kaoru?

K: Thank you

J: This is good news, isn't it?

K: So as a rule, we always broadcast this show on Friday, but we've made it a bit irregular this time in order to talk about this. Well, of course, I've seen it already.

J: Have you? What was it like?

K: Well, first of all, as for the filming, we did our make up and costume etc, and had cameras surrounding us 360°. We filmed it there first, and then in a different studio, we put on clothes that had pointers all over them, and I played air guitar...

J: Ah, you performed.

K: And then we took photos seperately.

J: It sounds like hard work, was it?

K: Not really, it was over quite quickly.

J: Really?

K: For the photo shoot in full dress it was like, 'flash..flash..Ok, finished'. It felt like a waste of all the make up I was wearing. Like, 'Isn't there anything else?' haha.

J: Ah, if only you could've have done more...But when you were finished with all that, they made it into a moving person?

K: Well, yeh, it has the kind of atmosphere as if its in a game.

J, T: Ehh?

T: What are the facial expressions like?

K: It wasn't possible to go as far as making different facial expressions. Well, i mean, you could do that if you had the time, but we didn't...

J: This time you didn't go that far? But its the first time for Dir to try this kind of thing, right?

K: Yeah.

J: Was there any kind of catalyst that made you think, 'Lets do this'?

K: Well, there was a kind offer saying like, 'We can do this kind of thing'..

J: A suggestion came, and you decided to give it a go?

K: Yeah, thats it, kinda like that.

J, T: Ahhh.

J: You know, this is...

T: It looks interesting.

J: Its exciting, right?

K: When I was playing, there was a pointer right in the position that I usually hold my guitar, so they asked me if I could change the position.

J: Ah, the the postion you play the guitar?

K: Yeah. They tried to help me change the position, but it was still interfering, so I ended up playing up here at chest level, which would nomally be impossible, haha.

T: Hahaha

J: Pretty high up, its not very Kaoru style, is it?

K: I think it'll be a sight to see.

T, J: Hahaha.

K: Its soo high up! Haha

T, J: Hahaha.

J: By the way, are you influenced by anyone in particular as to the position in which you hold your guitar?

K: No, its just the best position I can play in, based on the size of my guitar.

J: Ah, I see. But somehow you ended up playing up here while filming this mv?

K: Yeah, well..I had to raise the position a bit.

J: Ahh, did the other members have to change anything?

K: No

J: Just you? Because it got in the way of the pointers?

K: Yeah.

J: Ahh, really? Die always plays quite low down doesn't he?

K: Yeah, he does. When we first put on all those pointers and mimicked playing the instruments, it came up on screen as just like moving lines. Even just looking at that, I could tell it was Die straight away.

J, T: Ehhh.

K: The shape on screen looked just like Die.

T: Thats pretty interesting.

J: He's very characteristic, isn't he? How do you film the drums? With pointers on them?

K: Haha, pretty tough, right? We had to use a photo of the drums and stick them on.

J: It seems like drums would be the most difficult to play by air. Or was it not that bad?

K: Well, if the positions of the pointers were set then...

K: Ahh, and it was over very quickly?

K: Yes　

J: And you were holding your guitar up here? I say that, but I don't know how good it looks *1, haha. Well, if i had to choose, playing it lower down probably seems cooler. There was a lot of people in the 90s playing guitar like that, right? Punks and stuff. They played it quite low down. There isn't anyone who plays it up high, is there?

K: No, not really.

J: How about actually holding it like that, Kaoru?

K: It would be pretty difficult to play.

J: It could be the 'Kaoru position'.

T: Haha.

J: The cool position!

T: Haha

K: Yeah.

J: Im looking forward to this.

T: The song is the new single 'Ochita koto no aru sora'?

K: Yeah.

J: Are you gonna test this out once and see the reaction, then maybe do more?

K: I think it would be interesting if we could spend a bit more time on it, and brush up the backgrounds and stuff.

J: You might be able to make new creations using only this. I am looking forward to this.

T: The broadcast will start at 23:00, ohh so its gonna be on as the year changes.

J: Yes.

K: First we'll show the same footage that was in the explosion screening, and then after the year changes we'll appear, and then play this mv.

J: Ah, I see.

K: During the live broadcast with the members, we'll play this. And then we'll kinda talk a bit.

J: I see.

T: This is a great way to bring in the new year for the people watching.

J: Right? There wasn't much good news in.2020, so they will really appreciate this piece of hope appearing at the end of the year. They'll be looking out for the postion of the guitars!

T: The same position as ???*2

J: Thats it.

K: It seems like Kami had no interest in this topic.

J: Isn't he here today? Are you there, Kami?

Kami: Yes, I'm here. I've seen it too.

J: You've seen it?!

T: Have you?!

Kami: Yes, I have.

J: Cause he's a god, right? He's different from humans.

K: He sees what we see.

Kami: Because gods have power.

J: Power? Even low grade ones?

Kami: But, no, it was very interesting.

J: You enjoyed it?

Kami: I did enjoy it, it was cool.

J: Did you notice anything about the postion Kaoru was holding his guitar?

Kami: Ah, no, not really.

J: Haha, didn't you? As a god, is there any scenes you would recommend to watch out for? Or any points to pay attention to?

Kami: Well, of course the images were good, but I really thought the song was good. Dir en grey are good at writing songs.

J, T: Hahaha.

K: Thanks, haha.

Kami: I think you have talent.

K: We're good, right?

J: Yeah! He's acting like a judge.

Kami: Thats because Im a god.

J: Well, yeah. Haha, saying, 'You're good at writing songs' to a pro. Thats a first. But thats just like Kami. So, you liked the visuals, but you heard the song again in a new light?

Kami: It was fun.

J: Ah, it was fun? Thank you.

T: How about making a Kami avatar?

K: Ah, yeh.

J: We've never seen what Kami looks like..

Kami: I can't show you that yet.

K: We could make an avatar, and then have it come on screen, when he's here.

T: Yeah, like in this area of the screen.

J: Yeah! If its technically possible.

K: Tasai could create the character.

T: Hahaha.

J: Like his legendary..Oh, lets do that.

T: But I can't draw him, I need to see him. Otherwise I'd have to imagine what he looks like.

K: Yeah, just draw it from imagination.

T: Like my own image of Kami?

J: Yeah, something like that. Well, in that case we could each try drawing him..

K: Even if it isn't a moving character, we could put it up on that line that appears when Kami talks..

J: Yeah, I see.

Kami: Im just a regular old guy.

K, T, J: Hahaha

K: Well, we know that...

J: Yeah, from what we've heard from him so far, we can gather that.

T: Thats it. I could kinda get an image of him by listening to all of his stories.

K: A combined picture of him.

J: Or a loud talk session with him. Thats not nice to think about, is it? haha

K: Yeah, with that voice, it might be a bit tough.

J: Haha, yeh, it would be exhausting.

K: Yeah.

J: Yeh..

K: Ok...well, also, this is a bit of promotion for me, but from February we will start our Explosion Screening tour of our Meguro RokumaykanGig live. We'll go all over Japan with it, and the member will also..

J: Join in, do a talk session?

K: Yeah, we'll do talk sessions.

J: You'll be there? Well, it has been announced already, so people can already check out all the info in realation to that.

K: Is that all?

J: Yeah, I think so.

K: Well, I'd love it if everyone was able to watch the live broadcast tomorrow.

J: Yep, don't miss it.

K: Ok, lets finish here for today. Please subscribe. Thank you very much.

*1 Not sure if this bit is entirely right.

*2 Couldn't figure out.

#dir en grey #the freedom of expression #tfoe #kaoru #薫

[lovenona]

LONG ask ahead, sorry T^T

*arrives in a hurry after 2-3 days* *slow, appreciative clap at the ted talk* sweetie, have you got any idea how much i adore hearing you ramble about the creation process??? seeing the whole love and dedication you hold for the odyssey makes my day! (and nooo, i'm totally not reading it again bc i want to have all of it in mind for tomorrow and bc it inspires me to no end hahaha what do you mean :) )

here comes yet another question: what kind of powers do you possess to write so beautifully. your writing literally punches me in the gut every single time, even the simplest of things!! it's hauntingly beautiful and i'm living for it!

(and another one) how did you find out how the odyssey was going to end?

also, it's rambling time because i've been thinking. (i do that sometimes.) each chapter title is a reference to a greek myth, and, in particular, odysseus' myth (no clue if i've written his name right, i've always knew him as "ulysse" in my mother tongue ^^;). and so my brain went: oooh nice, greek lore ^^ and then: yo wait. hold up. which brings me here: analysing the chapter titles. (bear with me please, and feel free to ignore my enthusiastic rambling/correct me if i'm wrong which i probs will)

so first, we have the prelude. david and calypso. while i'm sure david has his importance it's almost 1 am as i'm typing this so i'm going to focus on calypso. poor nymph is stuck in an island because of the will of gods for a reason i've forgotten. but here's the catch: while she cannot leave, others can come to her (good ol' odysseus for instance) until they leave her all alone again. and the cycle unfolds again and again. which brings us to a nice parallel with reader's situation at the beginnig. she, after all, is stuck on an island with no way out but stories. comes the dilf supreme toji aka an odysseus of sorts, until he leaves her. so she's alone again. calypso there illustrates a passive state of sorts. she cannot leave, or so she thinks: while she wants to, we don't see her try per se until sukuna comes in.

ah yes. sukuna’s arrival. chapter title: neptune’s hands. Neptune, god of the seas, all powerful, also known as Poseidon absolutely terrifying if provoked — which is something Odysseus did! well, man is smart enough not to do it to his face. but he did stab a cyclope, which happened to be neptune’s son. son who swore to a haughty Odysseus that he’d pay for it. in consequence: instead of going back to Ithaca without that much of trouble, Neptune goes: nope mate, and promptly sabotage his return (with a storm who leads his ship astray if my memory is correct). Neptune serves as a catalyst in here, to properly start the action. and it so happens to be sukuna’s role! he is, as well, the one who starts reader’s journey — well, odyssey in this case ;) — by making her this offer. plus, if we consider reader as being calypso, a nymph, and sukuna as being Neptune, a god, it shows their difference in power. sukuna is a fearsome curse, captain whose name is enough to strike fear in the cruellest pirate, who can and will kill reader should he get bored of her. reader is but a printer’s apprentice, so weak compared to him it hurts.

ah, yes. the narcissus pool aka siren gojo, aka me simping so hard for this man I might squirt with the mere mention of him. yes, siren gojo is that powerful, feel free to lure me in with them baby blues sweetie *blows him a kiss* hem. anyway. long story short, an oracle said: if narcissus sees his reflection, he’ll die. people prevent him from seeing himself. ofc man is so handsome it hurts and has women and men alike running after him, including a nymph named echo. he rejects her. hera is somehow involved in the mess and makes it so that he stumbles upon a river and sees himself. entranced by his beauty, he desperately tries to reach himself and stays near the river until he dies. this one is a bit trickier (especially considering I’m writing this as I go with no coherent preparation whatsoever but damn if I’m not having fun). but. *proceeds to read it again* *sighs in ‘why the hell ain’t siren!gojo real pls sir take me’* anyway. it’s never mentioned in narcissus’ myth, but I’m pretty sure he was tempted to look at himself. at least once, considering he could wonder why on earth all those people kept falling for his looks. (or he could be pretty dumb. let’s say he isn’t) so he’s tempted by his own reflection. just like reader’s tempted to follow segsy siren gojo. he doesn’t up until hera is involved and ends up seeing his reflection. he falls. not literally, but in love — with his own self. here it’s different (and the reason why i’m strugglingTM to gather coherent thoughts). gojo is the very embodiment of this temptation — so he acts as narcissus’ reflection here. he’s the one seducing reader, the one luring her until she falls in the waters, just like narcissus did. she didn’t die though, unlike him. (thank you sukuna. I guess. yes I would’ve given my life for gojo to consume me in both ways and??) now, this is very simp-tainted (sorry bout that ^^;) and the thing I’ve noticed is this: narcissus isn’t a character in the og odyssey. could it be bc to my absolute despair, gojo’s not as much of an important character as sukuna and toji? only you know!

(the hades, psyche analysis comes in tomorrow *looks @ time* *sees it's 1 AM* well, later on! have a lovely night/day!)

- the LRE (who's very happy tumblr allowed her to do paragraph breaks/to have a pirate history book recommandation! thanks about that one btw, it'll come in handy for a ff of mine (yeah it involves pirate gojo))

wait this is so precious n thoughtful oh my gosh 😭 thoughts n vibes under the cut :’) 

first of all THANK U!!!??? ur making me blush out here omg my hEART 😭 

as for ur first question, ur SO SWEET n IM LOSING IT bye i genuinely don’t know i just scream and throw a bunch of commas and metaphors everywhere and somehow things happen 💀 i read a lot (english major vibes) and it’s very helpful because i tend to imitate writers/phrases/books that inspire me while i'm figuring out how i want to write !! 

secondly: how did i figure out the ending of the odyssey??

answer: i think i just stumbled across this one 😭 i was brainstorming w my bestie (@/suedebunn) n she originally suggested a different version of the ending that i was like “oh wait” and then i played with it for awhile until i arrived at the version i have now ! i want to tell u more about how i arrived from point A to point B and what the process was but i will withhold because i am not giving anything away >:)

onto ur TITLE ANALYSIS!! this is SPECTACULAR! ur pretty much on the nose for all of them god damn i don’t have much to add :’) i’ll give u some of my takes tho!!

david and calypso – ur absolutely on the nose for the calypso aspect; david’s just a passing nod to the pirates of the caribbean portrayal of davy jones and the doomed relationship between him and calypso (mirroring the doomed relationship between toji and reader since he leaves them) 

neptune’s hands – yes! yeah! sexy! pirate sukuna is being compared to a sea god!! also a minor teaser but sukuna’s hands are important symbolically ;-) 

narcissus pool – ur brain is so big here god damn 🤲 narcissus is more of a loose reference to the idea of pride/ temptation and also hollowness/mirages (the emptiness of a reflection versus the tangibility of the real thing) so it’s not immediately a reference to the odyssey itself or even the myth (i'm taking creative liberties bye homer) but probably the best entity to use when describing gojo – the dichotomy between pride/emptiness is a lot more apparent in part 5 

gosh thank u sm for this!! excited to see what u have next!!!!!!

#THIS IS SO SWEET #THANK U??!?!!!?!>! #THANKS FOR NOTICING TITLE IMPORTANCE #UR A REAL ONE #OMG!!! #letters to adele #the odyssey! #LRE anon

[keiths3dart]

Max in the Black Lodge: A Life is Strange / Twin Peaks Crossover.

Part 2

Chloe headed through a gap in the trees, panning her flashlight to either side rather than in front of her. It was this that led to her literally walking straight into the man she had completely failed to notice. Chloe's heart froze and her blood ran like ice. Who the fuck could she have run into in the middle of the woods at night other than Max?

Regaining some measure of composure, she pushed herself away from the man, and brought her flashlight to bear on him. The sharp weathered features of a well built, grey haired native american in a Sheriff's department uniform were illuminated.

The man winced as the beam from Chloe's flashlight dazzled him. He put his hand on Chloes and gently but inexorably lowered the light beam from his face. His companion approached, a younger man but still with hair peppered with gray. He too wore the uniform of the Twin Peaks Sheriff's department. It was he who spoke first;

"Hey Hawk, have we found them?".

"I think so Bobby, according to the descriptions i got from Margaret i think this is Chloe"

"What about the other one? Max?".

"We got seperated, have you seen her?" Chloe blurted out, her head swimming. What were the cops doing out here? Why were they looking for them in particular? and how had they managed to find each other in an enormous forest which stretched all the way into Canada?

The older man, deputy Hawk looked concerned. "when did you become separated?" he asked.

Chloe had to think, she and Max had stuck together for most of the hike up into the hills but as the darkness set in, they'd taken slightly different paths around obstacles and before they had known it, they were no longer in sight of each other. It had almost been like the forest itself had gently and insidiously prised them apart and set them on divergent paths.

"I don't know" she stammered, and it was true, when it came down to it she had no idea how long she and Max had been wandering the woods separately.

Hawk looked at her kindly, an experienced woodsman as well as having a lifelong experience of Twin Peaks and its surroundings gave him an understanding of how strange things could get out here in the woods, especially for the unprepared or unwary. He was just glad that he and Bobby had found the first of the two girls without any harm coming to them.

"Bobby, get onto base and let them know we've located Chloe and she's ok. We're gonna continue on to find Max. And Bobby, make sure Lucy gives Margaret a call".

"Right away Hawk" Deputy Bobby Briggs answered and thumbed the transmit key on his radio.

"We took a call from Margaret, the woman you met in the Diner earlier".

"The one with the Log?".

"Lucy, it's Bobby, are you receiving? over".

"Yes, she told us she'd relayed a message to you and that you'd run off into the woods".

"We've located one of the girls, Chloe".

"Later, her log felt that there was something seriously amiss so she called us at the Sheriff's department".

"Yes, that's the one".

"So me and Bobby came to find you, there are hidden darknesses to this place".

"Yeah, this forest has been giving me the creeps for hours".

"No Lucy, i don't think she's a natural blue".

Bobby had raised his eyes to the heavens in exasperation.

"Im worried about Max, what have we got ourselves into?".

"Lucy, just put it on the damn form as 'Dyed', Tell Harry we're proceeding onwards, and get poor Margaret on the horn and let her know what's going on".

"A lot of things happened here a few years ago Chloe, We need to press on but i'll explain as we go."

Deputy Hawk motioned for Chloe to follow him and he began to tell Chloe about the strange history of Twin Peaks. Bobby followed silently to the rear. He had been a high school senior through the entire episode and it had been a tumultuous and traumatic time for him which he didn't feel like contributing to. He was lost in his own thoughts, heading he knew for the very place his own father Air Force Major Garland Briggs had disappeared from never to be seen again.

So Chloe learned that night about this strange town, about Laura Palmer's murder by her father Leland, Leland's own death, the investigations by FBI Agent Dale Cooper, Dale Cooper's own disappearance, reappearance, disappearance again. About Wyndam Earle, about The Black Lodge and "Bob".

Christ and she'd thought Arcadia Bay was fucked up. Why had Rachel and Frank come to this place? (Apart from Norma Jennings' heavenly Cherry Pie) and why had Rachel disappeared again? On top of it all, where was Max? Please God let her be safe, Chloe couldn't even bear to picture being alone again.

The room was neither cold nor warm, and the sounds of soft Jazz permeated the air, the hypnotic shuffle beat having an almost soporific effect on Max. She looked around to take in her surroundings. A second ago she'd been in the woods at night freezing her nipples off in the autumnal chill of North Washington State and now she was.... Well now she was sure she was tripping, she was in a room. The tiled floor was an eye bending zigzag pattern of black and white and the entire space was ringed with heavy crimson drapes. There were few furnishings. 4 easy chairs, a statue and a small table with a bowl in it.

If it had just been the surroundings and the circumstances, then Max might have been able to not freak out. But it was the fact that the room was not empty that made her wonder why she felt so fucking calm. Why everything seemed to happen slowly and calmly and in silence. An almost cloying serenity when her very soul should be clawing at the back of her head before making a bolt for the nearest exit.

Sitting in the chair in front of her, in a dapper red velvet suit was the oddest little man Max had ever seen, his head swaying in time to the music. To his right sat Rachel Amber, silent and unreacting to Max's presence. She simply sat, a benignly neutral expression on her face, looking over at the occupant of the chair opposite to her, on the dwarf's left.

Mark Jefferson.

Similarly oblivious to Max's arrival, he sat looking over at Rachel and Max's stomach churned with hatred for that despicable man, what he'd done to her in the dark room, what he'd done to Kate and those other poor girls he'd groomed then drugged. And how he'd manipulated Nathan into trying the same thing with Rachel with (Prior to Max's temporal intervention) fatal consequences for them both. How he'd killed Chloe, and Nathan, and Victoria and driven Kate to take her own life. But still Max felt like a puppet in somebody else's show. she still stood there just taking this bizarre scene in. The little man began rubbing his hands.

And laughed, the sound strangely distorted, almost reversed in sound, like the backing to one of The Beatles' more psychedelic studio explorations.

"S'TEL KCOR" The little man clapped his hands once.

"I EVAH DOOG SWEN! TAHT MUG UOY EKIL SI GNIOG OT EMOC KCAB NI ELYTS". He motioned his head towards Rachel.

"S'EHS YM NISUOC, TUB T'NSEOD EHS KOOL TSOMLA YLTCAXE EKIL LEHCAR REBMA?".

Max spoke for the first time since her arrival.

"But it is Rachel Amber. Are you Rachel Amber?"

"I LEEF EKIL I WONK REH, TUB SEMITEMOS YM SMRA DNEB KCAB". Rachel appeared pained as she said this.

"S'EHS DELLIF HTIW STERCES, EREHW ER'EW MORF EHT SDRIB GNIS A YTTERP GNOS, DNA S'EREHT SYAWLA CISUM NI EHT RIA".

The little man sprang from his chair as the music in the room began to not so much get louder but simply permeate Max's consciousness more and began to dance. Backwards. Max became lost and hypnotised by the scene, losing all track of time or reality.

Chloe's chest felt like it was on fire, the two policemen were setting a brisk pace through the woods, Hawk darting his eyes this way and that before deciding on a course. Like a hunter on the scent. Bobby had taken up station towards the rear.

"Christ, i'm hella unfit, i really should quit smoking".

"Just a little further Chloe, i think we are close. can you feel it in the air? like static electricity".

"Hawk" Bobby called out sharply, "is that a light off to the left?".

"Max!" Chloe called out as Hawk veered off to the left to investigate the light. No answer. Not even the hooting of the owls. Their damned racket had been driving Chloe nuts but now she missed their reassuringly natural presence. The watchful, expectant silence of the woods worked on her anxiety like a violent catalyst causing it to well up inside her like a tsunami choking, smothering, cloying and overwhelming. She staggered, her head reeling with every conceivable fear her subconscious could throw in front of her eyes. The strong arms of Officer Briggs caught her before she could topple over completely and Chloe allowed herself to be gently guided forward into the little sycamore ringed clearing Hawk had led them to.

The little clearing with the smouldering campfire. Max's discarded flashlight, still on. Max's bag.

But no Max.

#llifeisstrange #life is strange #chloe price #lis #max caulfield #pricefield #rachel amber #life is strange fanfiction #twin peaks #fanfic