#and i think that's one of the really wonderful things about like. qprs and committed platonic relationships etc | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yardsards · 4 months

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What made you realize you’re aro? An idea has been planted in my head of me being aro

i feel like for me, my thing was less about *realizing* i was aro and more about *accepting* that i was aro. (also talk abt my asexuality in here bc those two parts of my identity feel very intertwined. and some gender stuff as well)

as a little kid, i didn't have any crushes. i assumed all my classmates that said they had crushes were just lying or doing some kind of social performance that i (as an undiagnosed autistic who frequently felt left out by my peers' social rules) figured i just didn't get. i figured real crushes wouldn't happen til we were teenagers or something.

when i was like 13, i was clicking around on wikipedia, and found an article about asexuality. immediately i identified myself in it (and realized that oh, it wasn't the default). my confusion about why the girls my age always talked about finding guys hot finally made sense to me. it just clicked into place.

i read up more about asexuality. i looked at the asexual tag on tumblr. i learned about aromanticism and the split attraction model.

but i wasn't ready to accept being aromantic yet. i labelled myself a heteroromantic asexual for several months, maybe even a year. the idea of never having sex wasn't scary to me. but the idea of never falling in love was *terrifying*. so i told myself i just hadn't met the right boy yet and would grow into it. (you'd think a 13 year old would figure out their romantic orientation before their sexual orientation, cuz it's normal for sexual attraction to not be fully developed yet. but i was not coming from the most logical place here)

over time, seeing aromantics online, and unlearning heteronormativity and amatonormativity, the idea of being aromantic started to feel less scary. so i *began* to accept the fact that i could be aro and that would be okay, and started calling myself aromantic.

but a part of me still didn't *want* to be aromantic.

i tried looking for alternative explanations. i questioned if i was a lesbian: i now knew i didn't want to be any boy's girlfriend, but being a girl's girlfriend was never shoved down my throat (and didn't have heteronormative gender roles baked into it) the way dating boys was and so didn't make me so viscerally uncomfortable. and something about butch lesbians really resonated with me (hello repressed gender crisis). i found girls pretty to look at, and fun to draw.

and i had this female friend that i tended to cling to (i have always had a habit of clinging stronglyvto one best friend at a time in my younger years, as a weird autism-anxiety thing). i liked being by her side, and i wanted to hold her hand. i wanted us to be in each other's lives forever. i found myself jealous when she paid more attention to her various boyfriends and girlfriends than me. (later on i realized that she actually wasn't a very good friend and treated all of her friends like free therapy or pit stops between romantic partners. very high school.)

then i realized i was trans, and came out to some close friends.

and then two separate male-aligned friends both admitted romantic feelings towards me in a very close timespan. it made me feel warm when they told me they wanted to be with me. but i told them i didn't think i reciprocated the feelings. both of them told me they'd be okay with something queerplatonic instead of romantic. but i told them i wasn't sure about that either bc commitment like that was scary to me. and i wasn't sure that if i did want a qpr if i would want it with either of them specifically.

i started to think, maybe i was biromantic. the idea of being a boy's boyfriend didn't make my skin crawl the same way the idea of being a boy's girlfriend did. i wondered if maybe the reason i didn't say yes to being in a romantic relationship was just the same reasons i also didn't say yes to being in a queerplatonic relationship (commitment issues/not being sure if either of those particular people were right for me)

but i slowly realized that all of my feelings that i was hoping to fit into a romantic box just. weren't romantic and couldn't be forced to be romantic. it was all either just strong platonic love (i remember noting that it was roughly the same type of love i'd felt towards favorite cousins, who the idea of being romantic with obviously disgusted me). or in other cases were just me being lonely and wanting to be loved and paid attention to, and wanting any love i could get even if it were romantic. and being so afraid of being abandoned in favour of everyone getting romantic partners (because our amatonormative society says that friends should always come second to romantic partners, plus that first girl friend regularly ditching me for her partners increasing that fear) so i was hoping to be in a romantic relationship with the people i loved platonically so that i wouldn't have to worry about them leaving me behind.

idk if i explained it well, and idk if any of this is helpful to you. but yeah.

#eliot posts

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bunfloras · 1 year

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Hello!! I was wondering if you could tell me (if you don’t mind, that is) what queer-platonic means. I think I have the general gist and idea, but I want to make sure that idea’s correct

From my knowledge on it so far, it sounds like such a lovely thing :D

have a great day

hi hello! thanks for asking, i’m always happy to answer this one!

so a queerplatonic relationship is a term that varies heavily depending on who you ask, as it’s something that can be on a spectrum just like any other relationship! a classic definition for a qpr is a relationship that “queers the line of platonic”. i like to refer to it as “platonic soulmates”, personally.

typically, people in queerplatonic relationships experience an attraction to their partner that is not romantic, but also not as simple as just being “besties”. many people in qprs tend to see it as something more committed, like dating minus the romance. qprs can look incredibly different depending on who’s in it—some might want more physical intimacy, like holding hands or cuddling. some might not want that at all. some may want marriage, and some don’t. qprs can’t be strictly defined as “they look like ___”, which is what’s beautiful about them.

most often, you’ll see the term “queerplatonic” used in the aro/ace community, but it’s not exclusively used by us! anyone can be in a queerplatonic relationship, regardless of romantic or sexual orientation. it’s a really really beautiful label for a relationship and one that’s frequently misunderstood.

i personally find myself picturing marriage and living together with my future partner, all without romance—and it’s a really wonderful thing that i’m glad people are starting to recognize.

i hope this helped! have a wonderful day!

#ask #queerplatonic #aroace #calico-kiwi

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shak3sp3are · 5 days

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Eww another ask ewwieeee

So i read about your likeeee platonic relationship thingies and I’m wondering if this is related, or something completely different

So I’ve had this friend for almost the whole school year. She’s my best friend and I hang out with her as much as I can. I started to feel things such as wanting to hold her hand or to be close to her and things like that and she when she gives me compliments I get butterflies. She also wore a really awesome button up today and when she started to walk over to me with it on I didn’t want her to see the weird goofy smile face I was making so I turned around. She looked so pretty,,,

But that’s besides the point, I feel like I do like her but sometimes I’m kinda like no she’s just a friend. I also sometimes am like kissing her would be awesome and some days I’m like no that’s weird but I still wanna be close to her.

Idk if this is like some kinda weird just like I like her as a friend but not kinda thing or I’ve heard some things about being aroflux which seems a bit fitting but I’m not sure cause I’m like today I would totally kiss her if u could and some days I’m like I ain’t doin that shit or sometimes I’m like I’d hug her and be close but no kissing

Idk you seem like you would know this stuff,,

There's a few possibilities here! The words I'm thinking of when you describe your situation are aroflux, and queerplatonic, alterous, and physical attraction.

Do you think you might be confused or in denial about what you want to do or be with her, or do you think it actually fluctuates? If it's the first, give yourself sometimes to think and experience what you're feeling with her, if it's the latter it could be that you are aroflux.

How would you describe your attraction? Personally, it's difficult for me to tell so I get if it would be confusing for you too. A lot of the time it seems that if you have more difficulty telling whether it's romantic or not it's usually due to being aromantic in some way.

Platonic attraction, obviously, is when you want to be friends with someone, or really enjoy being friends with someone. You might want to be close friends, but not to the extent of queerplatonic attraction.

Physical attraction is merely the desire for physical closeness like cuddling and nonsexual touching with the person one is experiencing attraction towards. There doesn't even have to be any romantic or platonic attraction, but they can co-occur. The thought process for physical attraction goes something like "I really want to cuddle with that person" or "they look like someone I'd want to cuddle", and such.

With queerplatonic attraction, think of it as all the commitment and closeness that comes with a romantic relationship, but without any romantic attraction. Some people in QPRs (queerplatonic relationships) might even marry their QPP or indulge in physical affection with them.

Alterous attraction is something that feels . . . in-between romantic and platonic. I think that might be the case for you. It's not necessarily romantic all the time, it's not necessarily platonic all the time. Alternatively, alterous attraction could be when you feel like you want to be in a platonic and a romantic relationship with someone at the same time!

Romantic attraction is something I don't really have much experience with, but I do have two boyfriends. Being aromantic, romantic attraction is very confusing and irregular for me. Personally, I'll think of typical romantic relationships and the actual label of a romantic relationship and go "Hm, that actually seems like something I'd like with this person." I'm still not sure how exactly to differentiate it from queerplatonic, since I've only had romantic crushes once or twice and most of my significant attraction is queerplatonic. You can try asking alloromantics what romantic attraction is like to them, though!

I hope this helps you!

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leafcabbage · 4 months

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Same anon as from before, first of all the tangets were wonderful and really nice to read so thank you <3 and second of all something i forgot to mention previously: TOMMY!!!! His whole "i don't think i want a girlfriend" was AMAZING and i really hope they come back to that at some point bc just,,,, watching them discover their identities and feelings just makes this so realistic and such an amazing read!! Also him just admitting to himself that yeah he finds Ranboo hot, 10/10 no notes <3

I'm going to go on a tangent now, sorry about that, but i think you do an amazing job of showing how complex aro relationships are and how much thought and consideration actually goes into them! I feel like sometimes aro relationships and/or QPRs are portrayed as,, sort of easy? Bc it's "friendship" or whatever? But like i've definitely spent time and thoughts on trying to figure out what i actually feel and what i want out of a relationship and even "what if this is actually romantic attraction" so it makes me feel so so so seen when those same themes are coming into play here! (No idea if you are planning on delving deeper into that but no matter what i'm really thankful for what we already got <3)

HI so so sorry for the delay in answering you will not BELIEVE the week i have had (actually you totally would work was just SO MUCH)

first of all YES absolutely coming back to that. tommy has always thought he needed to have a wife and kids one day as a way to like... prove himself better than his dad. like if he could be a good husband and father it would be proof that he was better than his dad and that he wasnt like... too "damaged" from his childhood. and realizing that he doesnt in fact want that is a really big thing for him that hes only now starting to deal with.and YEAH. let me. let me bring you back to one of my favorite winterlude lines (whjich. man im rereading that rn. because i forgot my own story. and bro how was i allowed to make them so god dam gay in that.)

"He pulled back, looking up at them. Their hair had fallen to almost entirely cover their face, so he tucked it back again, because he happened to think their face was quite nice. The gentle glow of the string lights illuminated Ranboo softly, and their smile had so much warmth and so much adoration, and Tommy wondered when he had fallen in love with them."

this man. is in love. its crazy.

secondly, THANK YOU!! honestly i just try to write things that feel real to me. i do a TON of research for things i dont experience, but as an aroace person and someone in a lot of aroace spaces online, i just write what i know. i DO absolutely want to delve into it more, because the relationships are such a major part of drdi and all relationships are gonna be complex. especially the trio like... theyve all got trauma and shitty relationships in their past, and on top of that they're in what is becoming a very serious, committed relationship. theres gonna be lots of feelings and complexities and stuff. theyre also not all aroace which means theres varying feelings going into the relationship which certainly isnt BAD but it adds more! the trio's relationship is just very unique as QPRs often are!!! i am very excited to keep delving into all of that its gonna be so fun!!!

but yeah!!! thank you so much for being so supportive!!!!! i really appreciate the ask(s)!!!!

#cabbage answers #anon #fic asks

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queerplatonicpositivity · 2 years

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i'm looking for advice and was wondering if you could help. i want to be in a qpr with my friend. she knows i want a qpr with someone but she doesn't know it's her... she's guessing who it is and i'm not sure if she'll get it or not. she's allo & straight too so i don't think she'd be interested but she might be. what should i do?

Hi, Anon! I know I'm a little late responding to this, so I'm not sure if you're still seeking advice, but I figured it might help other people in similar situations.

It sounds like you're worried that she might reject you if you're honest with her about how you feel. That's a tough place to be in, because rejection can be really painful.

I honestly believe that open communication is the best route, though. Since she knows about qprs (and that you want one), you could start by telling her how much she means to you, and how much you treasure the friendship that the two of you have. Then you could explain that you'd like to build on that and make a sort of "friendship commitment" together to be in a queerplatonnic relationship.

This is the part where it's going to be important for you to talk abut what a qpr means to you, since they're so individual. Like, what about being a qpr with her would change how things are between you already? What is it about her being your best friend that would be different or "more" if you were in a qpr together? And then explain that to her, and see if she's interested.

It's possible she might be worried that she can't be in a qpr with you because she's allo, but you can reassure her that anyone can be in a qpr if they want to be. She might have other concerns, too, or she might want time. Or, she might say she doesn't want to. And that would be really hard. But only you will know if the possibility of her saying no is harder than the possibility of her saying yes and you missing it because you were worried about her saying no.

Sending good thoughts your way!

#asks #anon #queerplatonic #queerplatonic positivity #qpr #queerplatonic relationship #how to ask someone to be your queerplatonic partner

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aro-culture-is · 3 years

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im starting to think I might be aro but I'm not sure... was wondering if you and your followers can give me some advice? i currently identify as genderfluid & queer. im 25 y/o and have never had a single partner, never been in love, never kissed anyone, ever. I've had many opportunities to, its just that i never felt romantically attracted to any of the people who have liked me (a few cis guys, a lesbian, and a trans guy). I definitely have had sexual desire for others, though. I did had a few romantic crushes on girls through my life but I think I might have forced myself to have them, if that's possible? The idea of romantic love has always fascinated me and I'm a sucker for cheesy romantic stories and stuff with lots of angsty longing and like, I WANT to feel that too. So bad. But I'm starting to think I literally can't? Does this sound like I could be aro? Or can I not really know until I've at least tried to have a romantic relationship with someone? Right now I just kind of feel like I'm broken because I want one but it just feels impossible.

[empty paragraph in case tumblr eats it]

hi!

so right off the bat i’m going to say: i am an internet stranger and I cannot decide your identity for you. that said, you definitely sound like you’re aro.

"never been in love", "i never felt romantically attracted to any of the people who have liked me", “I did had a few romantic crushes on girls through my life but I think I might have forced myself to have them, if that's possible?”, “Right now I just kind of feel like I'm broken because I want one but it just feels impossible”

everything i’ve quoted there is a STRONG sign that alone would make me suspect that you’re aro, but especially the first and last one. a lot of aro ppl “choose” a crush or try to force themselves to feel like they have a crush, and if you think you might have, that’s very much possible.

On a much sadder and more serious note, while I don’t see it quite as strongly with current teens, myself and a lot of a-spec people identified as broken before we knew there was a term and that we were allowed to use it and even feel pride in that. It’s so very easy to listen to society telling us that it’s normal to have crushes and decide not having them must be a problem with us. I knew in 7th grade that I didn’t seem attracted to boys or girls (and knew no nonbinary people aside from myself) and just as deeply “knew” that I must be broken. I’d strongly recommend following aro blogs - seeing representation helps most, in my experience.

that said, here’s some bonus comments which I think are relevant:

I definitely have had sexual desire for others

Strongly recommend that you should look into the term “allo aro” (a shortening of allosexual aro”

The idea of romantic love has always fascinated me and I'm a sucker for cheesy romantic stories and stuff with lots of angsty longing and like, I WANT to feel that too. So bad. / Right now I just kind of feel like I'm broken because I want one but it just feels impossible

a LOT of aros who have submitted to this blog have felt or do feel this way, I suspect. I personally never felt this way so I don’t feel super comfortable providing details on it, but I do notice a common theme of this being a comment from questioning / newly discovered aros who are still coming to terms with things.

That said, there are also some aro folks who do still chose to date/”partner”, both in the traditional romantic sense and in other ways, like in queerplatonic relationships (qprs) and other arrangements, and those can be long-term committed relationships. iirc at least one person has commented before on being a happily married aro person. If you still want a relationship even as an aro, there is a precedent. You won’t be alone even then.

can I not really know until I've at least tried to have a romantic relationship with someone?

there will be people who will tell you this. the venn diagram between those people and the people who will tell you that you cannot be aro because you have dated is a circle. (they never intend to believe you - just to find any excuse not to.)

if it gives you reassurance, you can enter a relationship where your identity as questioning aro is a known factor - but there is NO obligation to do so and i at least would consider it a bad idea to enter a relationship where this isn’t known. I would also caution about “curers” who take that as a challenge and may not express such, and who will take you being in a relationship with them / staying in that relationship for some arbitrary amount of time only known to them as a sign that they’ve “cured” you of being aromantic / aro-spec. In full disclosure, I have no idea how common that is but it is also my only dating experience and a very 0/10 one at that.

I hope that this (wall of text oops) helps! If you’re still not sure, I’d recommend looking through my “am i aro” tag, as on this post, to see me answering similar questions.

- mod kee

#not aro culture #aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #ask #mod kee #am i aro #long post #Anonymous

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theblackrivergame · 2 years

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hello! i just finished reading your demo and i loved it from start to finish, your writing is amazing and i adore the characters we got to meet! i also love the way you want to implement all the potential relationships and i was wondering, if it'll be possible to be in a QPR with a character while also romancing someone who doesn't want an open relationship? for example like being in a QPR with soillere while romancing vanator? it's totally okay if that won't be possible of course! i was just wondering because i can't help but think about my future playthroughs and the relationships in them, thank you for your answer in advance and i hope you're doing well! 🌻

hi there! there's a couple of reasons that this isn't possible... number one, scientists have sadly yet to invent infinite time so there's just some things that I don't quite have time to get around to, and number two, while I'm not an expert (since I'm alloromantic myself), I have definitely had aro friends who were committed to the idea of having a QPP who was the equivalent of a monogamous life partner.

that's obviously not true of all aro people, but it IS particularly true of Soillere, for example (Dassine also).

I'm really glad you're enjoying the game though! thank you so much for your kind words <3

also just a fun little bit of information for you and anyone else planning playthroughs, there's a variable that tracks whether your pc's end goal is to leave the Underworld or remain, that you may want to take into consideration when mixing and matching ROs hehe ;)

#ask #slavomess #the black river if #so glad you're enjoying the game! hope this answer made sense!#thank you again!

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asexual-society · 3 years

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Hey, I was wondering if you could give me some advice. I’m ace and not interested in a romantic relationship, but a while back I learnt of a qpr and I want one with my best friend, who I’ve known for more than a decade and trust more than anyone else. They’re supportive of me being ace but I’m unsure of how to broach the topic of a qpr with them and I’m scared they’ll just reject it outright or think I’m weird for wanting it or something. How do you think I should go about it?

Hey! Your friend sounds really cool, and I'm glad they're supportive and accepting of you. I think first of all, I'd suggest even before bringing up the topic with your friend, that you decide for yourself what sort of things you would be looking for in a QPR, what sort of level of commitment and physical/emotional intimacy, etc. The reason I say this is because, especially if it's something your friend hasn't heard of before, it can be tempting to give a textbook definition, which is pretty vague, rather than telling them what it is you actually want. It might also help you to feel less nervous if you have a clear plan of what to do. If you don't know exactly what you'd be interested in, that's okay too, it might be something you can figure out together.

If your friend isn't familiar with the concept of QPRs, you could introduce them in a more general/informal way if relationships or intimacy etc. ever come up in conversation. After that, it's easier to explain to someone what you want if they've already heard of what you're talking about. QPRs are a really interesting thing, and it's good if you feel comfortable talking about topics like this that relate to your orientation and what you might like in the future, even if you don't end up entering into a relationship with them, so they can understand you better as an individual.

If your existing relationship already resembles a QPR in some ways, you could use that as a foundation, for example if you're already physically affectionate or call eachother pet names it's not a huge leap to codifying that with a formal label if it's something they're comfortable with. Similarly, if you live together and cook meals together, and you want to be exclusive, that could be a smooth way to dip your toes into that kind of dynamic.

A QPR can be whatever you want it to be, maybe that's just formalising what you have now, or introducing new aspects to your existing friendship. You said you trust them more than anyone, and that's really nice! It sounds like they care about you a lot, so even if you do broach the topic with them and they decide that it isn't something they're interested in (and remember, it's a partnership, so you may both decide you feel more comfortable to compromise on some aspects), they're your friend, first and foremost.

They're not going to decide they never want to see you again, or think you're weird; loads of people are in, or want to be in a queerplatonic relationship- you can still go on being friends, it's not the end of the world and at least you've asked, because otherwise you won't know. Maybe that means your relationship doesn't change, or maybe you do choose to change some things of you're open about things that could make your current relationship better and stronger.

I hope this helps you, and I wish you all the best with your friend. If anyone out there sees this and is in a QPR, let us know how you did it, or if you have any advice, or things you would do differently!

- mod key

#qprs #queerplatonic relationship #asks #mod key #asexual #aromantic

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kieraelieson · 3 years

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A Soft Afternoon with Cookies

Warning: While this is a non-sexual story, with Roman and Patton in a very loving and committed QPR, it does have a bit of kink in it. Specifically a light kind of Dom/sub type thing. Please be aware.

“So then we have it set. You know what you want, and…” Patton’s voice became very shy. “And what I want?”

Roman cupped his hands around Patton’s face. “Yes I do. And I’m very proud of you for being so clear and open about what you want.”

Patton smiled slightly, and Roman booped his nose.

••^*^••

They were all set up.

Roman was sitting on the couch, and had set up one of Patton’s favorite shows to play on the tv. Patton peeked around the doorframe, looking very shy and nervous. Roman felt similarly, this was new to both of them. But he was taking charge. Being confident and sweeping Patton off his feet. By, well, rather pointedly not doing that.

He smiled at Patton, trying to look very confident and in charge, and once Patton offered a small wave back, Roman pointed to the ground in front of him.

It felt very awkward while Patton made his way across the room, and sat down there. He scooted back a bit, slotting between Roman’s legs facing outward, and wrapped his arms around Roman’s calf, leaning his head against his leg.

Now this was more familiar. The position was different, but it was essentially cuddling. Roman reached forward to pet Patton’s head, ruffling up his hair and scritching at his scalp. Patton melted against him, a heavy, warm weight.

Roman relaxed, feeling more at ease and confident now. He could certainly spoil Patton.

“Darling…” Roman said, more to himself, though he did say it out loud.

Patton tipped his head back to look up at Roman, his face still rather red. Roman just smiled down at him, tracing a finger along his jawline.

“You’re Darling,” he declared, punctuating the compliment with a boop to Patton’s nose.

Patton blushed adorably, hiding his face down in Roman’s leg.

Roman just went back to petting his hair. He was supposed to press some of those declarations, and to order Patton around a bit, but he was fine with easing into it. They were both very new to it, and if he was uncomfortable with going too fast, it was likely Patton would be too.

He enjoyed petting Patton’s hair anyway. His hair was soft and Roman really enjoyed feeling Patton relax and melt under his fingertips.

By the time the episode ended though, his leg was starting to fall asleep. It was probably about time to do some of that ordering around.

He reached down to tip up Patton’s chin. Patton was looking a lot more relaxed and comfortable now, his smile almost sleepy. Roman couldn’t help but smile softly back.

“Why don’t you grab us a couple pillows?” Was his first inclination, but he remembered he was supposed to be a bit bossy. Confident and in charge. “I want you to go and get several pillows,” Roman said, managing a low and smooth tone.

Patton nodded immediately, and after a slower extrication from Roman’s leg, he ran off quickly and soon returned with a whole armful, grinning all proud with himself.

There wasn’t a chance of resistance against that smile, and Roman grinned back. “Good job.”

He patted his lap. “Set one here.” He patted a few places beside him. “Two here, one here, and the last one there.”

Patton placed the pillows where Roman directed him to.

Roman patted the pillows where they were now laid out to turn his lap and the couch into a very soft cozy spot. “Now lay down.” He said grandly, omitting the ‘you can’ that he instinctively wanted to add after the ‘now’.

Patton flopped down onto the pillow nest, all glowy and happy looking. Roman booped him again. “Adorable.”

Patton’s face scrunched up cutely.

“You are,” Roman pressed.

Patton made a little pout, but it turned into a smile again as soon as Roman ran his fingers through his hair.

“Say it,” Roman commanded gently. “Admit that you’re adorable.”

Patton hid his face in his hands, blushing.

Roman carded his fingers through Patton’s hair. “You’re adorable, and handsome, and strong, and precious, and caring, and worthy of all the love and attention in the world.”

Patton shook his head, keeping his face as hidden behind his hands as he could.

Roman smirked. “You have to admit to one of them or I’ll make you repeat back the whole list~” Maybe getting to order him around was more fun than he’d thought.

Patton made a small noise of protest. “I’m… handsome.” He curled around Roman, hiding his face further.

“You bet you are,” Roman said softly, rubbing Patton’s back. “Handsome and lovely, and so very deserving of anything you could ever desire.”

Patton curled around him a bit tighter in what Roman guessed was a hug. He kept rubbing Patton’s back, firm circles moving up and down.

“I’m so happy,” Patton mumbled into Roman’s shirt. “And I feel so loved and it’s so much I don’t know what to do with it.”

Roman hugged Patton closer. “You don’t have to do anything with it. You can just enjoy it.”

Patton sat up to hug Roman more fully. In the brief glimpse Roman got of his face before he tucked his head down on Roman’s shoulder, he saw shiny teary eyes. Roman hugged him close, rubbing up and down his back.

And then he had a good idea.

“You wanna make cookies?” he murmured softly.

Patton’s breath hitched, and for a moment Roman thought he’d done something awful on accident.

“You’re so nice to me,” Patton said, his voice very teary. “And I love you so much!” He hugged Roman tighter. “Yes I do want cookies.”

Roman shifted his grip so he could carry Patton as he got up from the couch. The tears worried him a bit, but he trusted Patton to be telling the truth. “I love you too.”

Roman carried Patton into the kitchen and set him on the countertop. Patton sniffed and tried to hop down, but Roman held up a hand. Here’s where he could do a little more of the confident commanding.

“Nope, you stay right there.”

Patton nodded, and Roman handed him a paper towel before he could wipe his eyes on his shirt.

Roman looked in the cabinets, choosing one of the cookie mixes. He wanted to spend time with Patton, there was no need of dealing with the complication of making them from scratch.

He handed Patton the box. “Now you open that, and I’ll find a bowl and some eggs.”

Patton gave him a slightly watery smile, and took the pack.

Roman remembered to turn the oven on, and got out a bowl and some eggs. He handed them to Patton to start adding and mixing, and got some butter which he carefully tried to soften without melting in the microwave.

When he finally succeeded (mostly, there was a melted spot) and turned around with a proud smile, Patton looked normally happy again, not cry-happy. Roman beamed and set the butter down next to him, cupping Patton’s face with his hands.

“Is now an ok time for a forehead kiss?” Roman asked.

He was absolutely fine with forehead and hand and cheek kisses anytime, but Patton sometimes got squicked out, or worse, if he wasn’t in the right headspace. This time though, Patton smiled so happily and nodded. Roman pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.

“You make me so happy with just being you,” Roman said. “You’re worth so, so much to me.”

Patton pulled him into a hug. “You’re worth the world to me too, Roman.”

Roman held tight. He was so glad Patton had talked with him about setting this up. It was wonderful.

He leaned back and tapped the end of Patton’s nose. “Now you have some butter, and you can finish mixing the cookies while I find the pans.”

“Yep!” Patton said, smiling all bright and happy.

It took Roman several wrong guesses to find the drawer where the cookie sheets were kept, and when he turned back to Patton, Patton was trying to hide an amused grin. Roman stuck his tongue out, which made Patton giggle.

They formed the cookies together, and Roman pretended not to notice when Patton snuck a bit of the cookie dough into his mouth.

Roman put the full tray into the oven, set a timer, and then swooped Patton into his arms, spinning around to make him giggle.

“Roman!” Patton squeaked, but though his eyes were squeezed shut he had the biggest smile on his face.

Roman slowed the spinning and sat them both down on the kitchen floor, leaning in to bump his nose against Patton’s. “Yes~?”

“You’re such a dork!” Patton said, opening his eyes again and sticking his tongue out at Roman.

“Oh, you really are beautiful,” Roman said, not intending to say it out loud, but pressing forward once he realized he had. “Such deep brown eyes all sparkling and happy, and adorable freckles almost hidden by the sweet blush. You’re the most handsome man I think I’ve ever seen.”

Patton’s blush darkened, but he didn’t hide his face this time. “I think I might be the second-most.”

Roman frowned, tipping his head to the side in question.

“Cause you have to have seen yourself in a mirror before,” Patton said, booping Roman this time.

Roman felt warmth flood into his face, and Patton laughed.

“Now who's all blushy?” Patton teased lightly.

Roman grabbed Patton with a playful growl, and Patton let out a squeal.

The timer went off then, ruining their fun, but providing hot delicious cookies.

After cookies came more cuddles on the couch, and a very pleasant nap.

They would absolutely do this again sometime. Maybe many more sometimes.

#my own work #sanders sides #patton sanders #roman sanders #royality

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gffa · 4 years

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Hi! Another member of the Aro/Ace star wars club! Funnily, the way my sexuality relates to star wars is the complete opposite from you. I'm very neutral on shipping most of the time. And even when I do ship something, it's rarely enough for me to dedicate to it like you do for Obikin. It also never registered to me about the Jedi Order being similar to aro culture. I never thought of it that way, although the Order would still ban QPRs.

Hi! I’m finding all these different ways of relating to Star Wars through the aro/ace SW club to be a delight to me! I’m glad for it as well because I think, when I was younger, I could have really used a discussion that showed that aro/ace doesn’t have to be a one-size-fits-all kind of thing, especially in terms of things like, “Well, I like romantic stories? I guess I can’t be aro, then?” and how some people not caring for romantic stories or shipping is how they intersect their SW fandom with their being on the aro/ace spectrum, that sometimes people work one way, sometimes they work another way, and there’s probably a thousand more ways these things can overlap or even not overlap. I do think I agree that the Jedi would say you have to choose between a QPR and the commitment you made to the Order, because it’s not really about the romantic feelings, it’s about the things you’ll choose when you slide into caring about someone more than anything else. If you would burn down the galaxy for this person you loved, it’s not about whether you’re romantically in love with them or having sex with them, it’s about the things you would do, especially with someone who has level 100 psychic space wizard powers and the granted authority the Jedi are given. It’s like with Rael and Fanry--he’s not romantically in love with her, but he’s willing to fuck over a million lives on Pijal because he’s let his feelings about her cloud his judgement. In contrast, Obi-Wan had romantic feelings for Satine, but he chose the Jedi Order, he respected and valued their values enough to say, “If I embrace this relationship, I cannot be a Jedi, even when I believe in their principles.”, ie, he would have left the Jedi Order for her. And this is never treated as bad, by the narrative or the other Jedi, only with sympathy that this is difficult for him to balance when he’s thrown into the whole shitshow on Mandalore. And, as many problems as I have with Obi-Wan having a love interest (mostly because so many viewed it as a way to “humanize” him and THAT’S KIND OF THE PROBLEM WE’RE TALKING ABOUT, IN HOW ARO/ACE PEOPLE ARE TREATED), I don’t see his feelings as taking away from viewing the Jedi Order through the lens of aro culture and finding value in that for a lot of people! That sometimes some Jedi may have a desire for romantic or sexual relationships, but that they seem to be the outlier, rather than the other way around, and the things they cherish and value as being above romantic/sexual wants (even if they experience those wants) are ones that aro/ace people often value as well. That the vast majority of Jedi we see just don’t seem interested and they have these other things in their lives that fulfill them and I love that. It’s why the whole “it’s about who/what you’re committed to” that the Jedi have never struck me as being bad, because I know a lot of kind, good, wonderful aro/ace spectrum people who value the same things. It’s hardly universal, as you talk about, you’re differing almost entirely to the opposite from me in how your aro/ace aspects intersect with your experiences in SW fandom! There are going to be plenty of aro/ace people who don’t vibe with this discussion at all. But there are a ton of us who do and I really have found so much value in getting to interact with all of us, no matter where we fall on that spectrum and intersection. ♥

#jedi order #meta #lumi.txt #aro star wars club #i may have to give up the ghost for the night #but i am in love with this discussion #so feel free to keep chiming in if you guys want!#each response takes me a long time to write because i'm trying to be careful with my wording #so if i haven't gotten to your message yet that's why! ♥#absolxguardian

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aspecpplarebeautiful · 4 years

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I think I might be aroace. I figured out a while ago that I'm not into guys, so I've been trying with girls. I've been seeing this girl who is absolutely wonderful in every way, she's smart, talented and sweeter than anyone has ever been to me, and I get happy just talking about her. She's everything I could ever want in a girlfriend. But the longer this goes on, the more I find myself wishing she won't ask me to go steady. But how could I possibly refuse? I feel like I can't miss this chance.

(questioning aroace anon) I want to know what a relationship is like, and I can't think of a better person to try it with than her. I'm scared I'll regret it if I don't try. But... it just doesn't feel right. The thought of her saying "I love you" or getting physical with me makes me nauseous and anxious. And now I'm realising I've always felt like this, I'm fine with dating people in theory, even excited it's finally happening to me, but in practise I just... can't. And I hate myself for it.

(questioning aroace anon again, sorry this is so long) I hate that I could have the best girlfriend I could wish for, someone I really like and care about and who makes me happy - and yet I don't want this. Or I *really* want it, because I want to finally know what romance and sex are like and not be the odd one out among my friends, and I'm scared I'll lose her if I don't say yes, but actually dating her or anyone else feels wrong. I don't want to be aroace, but I think I am and it terrifies me

(questioning aroace, I promise this is the last one) I want to scream I DON'T WANT ROMANCE OR SEX at the whole world, but at the same time I'm utterly *terrified* that I'll regret it, or miss out, or I just have intimacy issues. It doesn't help that it would be so good with this girl, I really do think I could enjoy it with her, or some of it at least. But it just. Doesn't. Feel. Right. It doesn't feel like me. Anyway, I could really do with some advice/reassurance rn. Thanks for reading

It sounds like you’re in a difficult spot, Anon. And it’s hard when you don’t know exactly how things are going to go, so it feels risky no matter what choice you make.

It sounds like you might be dealing with some romance repulsion, especially when you talk about having anxiety and nausea at things like saying ‘I love you’. And repulsion is an asshole, because you can’t usually just force your way through it or it could get worse. But maybe finding a way to work with your repulsion might help? Like maybe changing the terms of your relationship? Instead of a romantic relationship maybe you could see if the person you’re interested might be interested in trying out a QPR (quasiplatonic/queerplatonic relationship). A QPR can be any relationship that doesn’t fit neatly into a friendship or romance, so you can literally tailor the relationship into whatever suits you the most. So you can still be very close and important to each other without necessarily doing the type of romantic things that would set off your repulsion. Committed platonic relationships are another very common type of QPR you can look into, where a higher level of commitment is expected than is usually expected from romance, but no romance is actually involved.

You can take things slow. You can try things out, and see how things go before making a choice if that’s what you want to do. If you’re comfortable with it and feel safe doing it, you can also talk to the person you’re interested in about what you’re dealing with too, and it’s entirely possible she may be supportive and even help you experiment a bit and see what you can do and what you can’t.

If at the end of everything dating just isn’t in the cards for you, remember that that’s OK. It’s not for everyone, and for some people no matter how hard they try they just won’t enjoy it. Remember there’s other things in life and other types of relationships, romance isn’t the be all and end all, no matter how much society told us otherwise. And you will be OK and you will find things that work better for you and make you happy.

Good luck, Anon! And all the best!

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hueningkoi · 6 years

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Hi! I'm begging for help here! I know I'm ace but I'm wondering if I am aro too, and I know that you are. Please tell me what you think romantic attraction is. I know the actual definition but I just can't understand it at all. I think I want relationship in theory. I think I want someone to be with me, and I think I want physical affection (without making out sex which repulses me) but I have never been in love before or had a crush and I don't know if that's just because I am ace or not 1/2

“2/2 but everytime i cuddle up to someone i am super aware of everything and I can’t be comfortable. Maybe it’s because I’m not romantically interested in them. But does it mean I am aromantic? The prospect of never having a girlfriend or a boyfriend makes me feel really depressed. I don’t wanna be alone for the rest of my life. I want someone to share my life with and someone with who I will be 100% comfortable with. But I just don’t know. I’m really confused and sad, basically.

3/2 oh sorry, I forgot to add: while I never had a crush I still find multiple genders attractive. I almost never imagine myself kissing them or cuddling them tho. I have like two exceptions and those are celebs that I’ve been stanning for years.”

🖋🖋🖋

Hello lovely person!! I am more than happy to try and help ya out! I can’t tell you like yes you are aro or no you are not because ultimately it’s for you to decide but I can kinda help you along the way in figuring it out by sharing my experiences! So this may get long so strap in lol here we we go!

I am for sure definitely aro as you know. I am also bisexual and experience sexual attraction so my experiences are different in that aspect but that’s a whole other animal lol so for now any physical stuff I mention is gonna refer to like non sex stuff. Okay so romance to me is a difficult concept because I’ve never felt it so like it totally seems like some fictional thing to me like I’m still convinced romance is fake.. I’ve never had a crush before. I have celebrities and people I admire and find hot but I wouldn’t date them if I was given the chance because ahh nope! Before I knew what aromantic was I used to force myself to date because it was “normal” and wow that was not good but I learned a lot about myself. Like I HATE cuddling. I HATE holding hands. I hated all these courtship rituals and gah I didn’t hate being committed to one person but I hated being expected to perform these activities especially with this one person and this one person alone. Awful. Romantic gestures in general just make me very uncomfortable and always have and I’ve dated like 5 people in my life and it was the same no matter who it was, male or female.

But with that being said, I am definitely more physically affectionate when I KNOW the other person has only platonic feelings for me. Which leads me to my next point:

Being aromantic doesn’t mean you will be forever alone. Not at all! So there’s this thing in the aro/ace community that you may have heard of called a queer platonic relationship or quasiplatonic relationship and it is a committed relationship that is, well.. platonic. But its different than just friendship. It’s a relationship that is not romantic but has a very close emotional connection that can be at the level of a romantic relationship but it’s not romantic. Which this can be hard to understand but its… like.. okay. so the boundaries are up to the people involved. Hmmm how to explain… so it’s like picking a partner for a fun school project like this person is your partner! And you’re thiers! You work together, you support each other, you work with your partner and it’s fun because you get each other! Yeah, you talk to the people sitting around you while you work because you’re friends with them too but you don’t work on their project and they don’t work on your project, because that’s between you and your chosen partner. It can be a monogamous QPR or a polyamorous QPR like there are so many ways to have a relationship than the movies show us and it’s pretty amazing! (The idea of a QPR sounds amazing to me omg)

There are lots of people out there who are looking for a relationship like this and as much as some assholes like to make fun of QPRs it’s a real thing and it’s something that more people should be aware of tbh. And also I think it for sure helps to be more physically affectionate like cuddling or holding hands when you know the other person is only feeling platonic feelings as well which is why I can hug a friend but get really really uncomfortable hugging someone I know has a crush on me. That one distinction may be all you need. But to sum up though, I actually have no clue what romantic attraction is because I haven’t felt it which that right there is a big indication that I am aromantic. Also you can identify as aromantic but keep an open mind for the future like hey maybe your aromantic now but labels change life changes. You’re not the same person that you were last year. You can identify as aro now because that is accurate to who you are in this moment but it is 100% okay if that changes in the future

and yeah! I hope all that had something helpful in it omg 😅

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markwatkinsconsumerguide · 4 years

Photo

Consumer Guide / No.93 / Reading Football Club fan, blogger and archivist Chris Lee with Mark Watkins.

MW : Other than Reading FC, which football team/s do you follow and why?

CL : I did what most young kids at school did – chose a big, first division team to 'support'. I won't say which one though, but safe to say I soon grew out of it! Its only ever really been about one club – and as the late John Arlott said, no matter where he was in the world, he couldn't settle until he knew the result of Reading's game!

MW : How long have you been following Reading? Can you remember your first game?

CL : My first game was in January 1972 vs Barrow in the old, Fourth Division (now League Two) and the whole family went so we could get tickets for the Arsenal cup-tie. I was nine-years-old and don't remember much about the game itself, only that we won 1-0.

MW : Tell me about the most memorable match you've EVER seen at Elm Park, The Madejski Stadium and away from home…

CL : So many memorable games at Elm Park, but the one that just stands out because of its personal nature, is Bolton in 1995. My fiancé's father Bill was from Bolton (the family had moved to Reading a few years before) and he'd taken me to the away fixture on New Year's day. Both teams were going for promotion to the Premier League (they went on to beat us in the play-off final that season) and at the home game me and Bill took our places on the South Bank. It was one of those special games under the Elm Park lights – the atmosphere was electric and we won 2-1 thanks to a brilliant late goal from Lee Nogan. Bill sadly died a few years later, and whenever I think of this special night it's tinged with poignancy.

I don't get to go to as many games as I'd like at the “Mad Stad”, but try and go four or five times a season. I haven't been able to go the 'big' games for various reasons, initially work commitments and then my health, but to be honest, when I do, the best thing is having a chance to catch up with my big brother. The best away game for me was Bristol City in 1995 – the crowd was around 9,000 with 5,000 from Reading, and the atmosphere in the away end was just incredible.

MW : How did you get into collecting ‘The Biscuitmen’ memorabilia?

CL : I was visiting a collectors fair in Twyford in the mid-eighties and just happened to see an old Reading FC postcard which immediately appealed to me.

I soon managed to get a few more which qualified as a collection of sorts, and then discovered a cigarette card showing Reading's Sam Jennings at the old stamp shop on Castle Street. I decided to find out what cards had been issued featuring the club – not an easy task in the pre-internet days!

At first I just concentrated on postcards and cigarette/trade cards and built up a fair collection (though I did have various other bits and pieces I'd kept over the years). It was after I started 'The Biscuitmen' website in 2008 that I decided to branch out a bit more.

MW : What are some of your favourite items in your collection and why? What items do you most seek?

CL : The advantage of having a website like mine is that people occasionally tip me off about auction items or offer to sell and sometimes even donate stuff.

A chap contacted me saying he had a large framed team photo from 1925-26 that had belonged to his grandfather, who happened to be a Reading FC director at the time. He offered to let me have it for nothing, which was amazing!

I was also pointed in the direction of a medal which was up for auction, with the description only stating it was an 'R.F.C. 1893-94' medal, which many people assumed meant rugby. But I knew the Reading team had been awarded medals in 1894 just for qualifying for the FA Cup first round proper, and the name on the back matched one of the players. I managed to get it for around £50, and those two items are definite highlights.

My first love has always been the old postcards and I have around fifty, but there are many, many more I know of. I often miss out because of the cost, but would dearly love to add to my collection.

MW: Your memories / encounters of / with David Downs and Alan Sedunary?

CL : David has long been recognised as Reading's official historian, and it was his club history 'Biscuits & Royals' that sparked my interest in the past when I received it as a gift in 1984. I've known him for many years, and he's a lovely man. I would respectfully say he's a quirky character – the day before Elm Park's last ever league game in 1998 he put up a tent and spent the night on the pitch!

I don't personally know Alan, but have often corresponded with him regarding the club's past. His book 'Heaven on Earth – The Official History of Reading F.C. 1871-2003' is practically my bible!

MW : Do you have much to do with ‘Hob Nob Anyone’ (The Fans’ View Of Reading Football Club)?

CL : I’m a member of Hob Nob Anyone? but don't often post – I'm not very good at distinguishing banter from abuse!

MW : Pick your ALL -TIME Reading ‘Royals’ eleven with manager!

CL : This is so difficult... I could pick four teams, there are so many players I'd like to include. I've gone for these purely on the basis of how much I enjoyed watching them play, not necessarily how well they would combine as a team!

Team: Death, Murty, Richardson, Wdowczyk, McPherson, Gooding, Parkinson, Sigursson, Senior, Friday, Gilkes.

Subs: Hislop, Shorey, Sonko, A.Williams, Quinn, Horrix, M. Butler. Manager: Steve Coppell.

MW : Other than following ‘The Royals’ what are your other hobbies and interests?

CL : I've always been a huge film and music fan, and enjoy photography. When I was 17 (forty years ago!) I was the 'singer' and bass player in a band with my mates – it was nothing serious, we hired a hall every Sunday afternoon and messed about really. Our sound was basically a cross between Status Quo and the Sex Pistols!

I've had the same battered old acoustic guitar for many years which I enjoy strumming, but wish I'd taken music more seriously.

I've always loved the classic film noirs and find the music of that time very appealing as well. I'm a nostalgia buff generally which explains the appeal of pre-war Reading FC memorabilia, there's just something about it.

MW : What do you enjoy most about living in Reading?

CL : I live north of Reading and go into town maybe once a week, but rarely go out for the evening there. I much prefer to have a meal at a pub in the beautiful countryside near to where I live. The most useful thing for me is being able to visit the Reading Central Library, where over the years I've done a lot of research using the local newspaper archive, which they hold on microfilm.

MW : How will you be spending Christmas (2019)?

CL : With family as usual, and I'm hoping to get to the Boxing Day game against QPR at the “Mad Stad”. Christmas is a time for family and reflection, so I’d like to say that I couldn't have coped with life since my illness without the support of my wonderful wife Rebecca, she is my absolute rock.

MW : Do you have a website?

CL : My website is called 'The Biscuitmen', which was Reading FC's nickname before it was changed to ‘The Royals’ in the 1970s. I started the site in 2008 to aid my recovery from a brain tumour operation, and initially it showcased my card collection.

I had some other stuff tucked away such as handbooks, fixture lists, team and player photos etc and decided to expand the site a couple of years later.

I add to the collection when I can and I'm constantly amazed by what turns up. And I'm always grateful for donations!

I'm particularly keen to get hold of vintage postcards as well as original team photos from any era. 'The Biscuitmen' can be found here www.chrisdlee.com

MW : Finally, do you plan to write your own book about Reading Football Club?

CL : I have considered it and it could be about Reading's tour of Italy in 1913. Last year I managed to pick up some Italian papers/magazines printed at the time that feature some amazing photographs. I find the pre-Great War period a fascinating time in our history – Reading were relegated, almost went bust, won promotion and, as well as the trip to Italy, had a couple of exciting cup runs.

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judefan852-blog · 4 years

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aspecpplarebeautiful · 5 years

Note

hi, i'd like a little help differentiating between alterous and queerplatonic. i'm still new to 'alterous'. i always thought i wanted a qpr where we'd be in a commited relationship, not be romantically attracted, but still get to do romantic things if we want. because i actually want romantic things, just not a romance, because of the pressure to have feelings i can never feel. but since alterous is an element of both, is that what I am, for wanting element of both? even if i only feel platonic?

So just to be clear are you wondering what the difference between an alterous relationship and a QPR? An alterous relationship usually refers to a relationship alterous people are in, and it can be platonic, can be romantic, or can have elements of both or might defy labels entirely. Someone experiencing alterous attraction can have a QPR if they want one, but a QPR, unlike an alterous relationship isn’t defined by the attraction you’re experiencing but by the type of relationship that you want to have.

(An alterous relationship that either defies labels or has both romantic and platonic elements can also be considered a QPR if you’re using the broader definition of a QPR which is a relationship that falls outside of a traditional romantic relationship or traditional friendship. So a relationship can be both an alterous relationship and a QPR if the people in it want to define it that way.)

If you’re wondering if the type of relationship you want would be considered an alterous relationship or a QPR, then I think it depends if you or your partner are experiencing alterous attraction or not. But if what you’re looking for is a relationship where you do romantic things but not have romance/not have to feel romantic feelings, that can be a QPR. And the really great thing about QRPs is that you get to tailor it to the kind of relationship that you want. And there’s no rules about what it has to look like or what you have to do.

I hope that all makes sense, Anon. But let me know if you still have questions.

All the best!

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