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#and i know i Know how this goes it’s the same every year
gazeofseer · 2 days
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Soul Connection💙
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'Love is too much glorified to ones dream
And quite petrified to savor it in life.........
Before you give up I want you to give in..
To your soul and find the other end of the
String that aches, arches, and embeds
you every night wondering i
If there is no one for me what is this
love mourning for then..?'
'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*''*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*''*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*''*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'
Pick A Image
And let your heart guide you allow that feeling to stir out and take you in the message calling upon you ;
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Best Friends, Platonic, Caring, Values, Spouse, Wrong Place with the Right Person
Message : The soul of yours is on a journey, of self discovery be it understanding what you truly want and need as an soul through life of human, to knowing it later after many lessons down the line that makes you see all the wrong things first and then things awaits on you to be corrected,
The connection you have is a Platonic one in this lifetime above mentioned are the forms you might have already met them or they are quite close but there is a wall of strangeness in between or a veil of unknown who is yet to arrive they are important part of your journey this makes you sad to not love like others, settle like others, but you are not one of them right? You are here for different things..they would be one of your greatest chapters that makes you worth the go towards the next.
Even if there is a separation it will be quite endearing and worth it. Because they would still wish the best from afar for you.
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'Maybe love was about a moment of relief for the one who was on a quest of the living'
- S ✍🏽☘️
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Karmic Bond, Purpose, Intent, Contract, Redemption, Salvation
Message : The dreams can weigh at times to, even if things seems enraging you hold it well behind a smile that a moment of ignorance and you would disappear amidst of the crowd to find your corner, comfort, of space where you shed all your emotions into a flow of thoughts that keeps you under greys before it rains.
There is a ache in your abdominal or chest, or a heavy guilt of feeling sorry towards something I am not able to see what exactly as I see you even feel hard to speak up like two Gulps down you take and sigh of eye rolls you go after doing any kinds of talk, your soul has a karmic bond it can be anyone in your family, but I see more in your social and friends group maybe even a colleague or romantic person, there is so much gloom, blues, and black here, a contract of hurt has begun that needs to be redeemed by the one who did to set the other person free with that state of feeling.
It will be really quite peaceful, refreshing yet painful as this heaviness will set both of your souls to move ahead in your life journey without holding anything back that can drown you at any time.
Timeline is near to 2-3 years it seems to be near the end by this year or next year's july.. monsoon is prominent and winter too.
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The beauty of life is, there can be an end to whatever happens within it, but beautiful things hurt too badly like love
- S ♥️
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Twin flame, Reflection, Transcend, Frequency, Attune, Trance, Mirror
Message : The idea or myth has a say that karma mirrors when it comes to twin flame but the reality has always been different and distinctive, You imbibe each other's nature timely..if you drink coffee now they might be having tea..
But the very same evening there will be a swap and you would wonder why did chose this when I am a specific this person; is how mirroring situations occurs in between you and your twin flame, I see you don't like to be too stereotypically girl but you have your own way to carry femininity same goes for masculinity,
To find a balance between the frequency of your energy will bring the space of mirrors into existence your twin flame is also seeking you the dreams you had about someone's safe touch but you have never been touched a dagger slashing something into two, all this is a sign of confirmation.
You will meet them when everything is balanced and attuned like a manifestation this entirely depends on how is your energy, divine timing, purpose, frequency, and attuning of your souls.
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We exist under the same sky sharing the same breath, the day we will meet what exchanges is the trance of our being till date gets seen, heard and felt a dream come true.
- S🌊
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Soulmates, Inner Knowing, Fidelity, Longing
Message : Everything speaks to you about love, hope and light no matter how much dark and cold things around may get there is warmth within, it is the longing towards your soulmate every songs remind you of the visions that you could possibly have with them not the delusions but the kisses on cheeks leaves a smile on your face by now for real as if you felt it happen for real but it is yet to.
I see you are quite pure at heart to see shades and imposters which makes you get influenced at a flinch but god's grace you deal with things very well that even through a mishap you come out like a boon.
It is a part and parcel of the growth towards enlightenment but just be cautious in case things can snap at you anytime even if you are ready for a war no need to invite one to prove everytime that you can do it. trust me this is from your soul mate you keep hurting yourself and they feel really helpless right now to not be able to help you through, so just let go of conflicts if it is around ignore..dodge deal it with grace or address it collectively instead of going and reacting rashly on your own.
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To look feel and experience one's soul all you need is love inside your heart's core to connect beyond all the veils of falls and lows, that elevates you heightens you through grounding your roots of existence deeply in each other's heart through foot imprints.
- S🩷
'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*''*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*''*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*''*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'
Paid Readings are Open Check my Pinned Post !!
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estapa-edwards · 2 days
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Trevor Zegras with a hairstylist reader whom is his best friend & has the biggest crush on him, he doesn’t know tho. Z always goes to the hair saloon whenever he gets dumped and gets his hair washed to relive stress & ranting about how he somehow can’t keep a relationship, but reader know Z will only go back into a relationship a few days later (full on angst, you can decide if reader & Z will be a couple or not). Thank you, love you!!
KEEP - T. ZEGRAS
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paring: Trevor Zegras x reader
word count: 1.6k
requested? yes
warnings: use of y/n.
*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨*
Trevor Zegras, affectionately called Z by those closest to him, trudged into the small, warmly lit salon. His usually confident stride was subdued, shoulders slightly hunched, and his face was a mask of frustration and sadness. He glanced around the familiar space, taking in the comforting scent of hair products and the soft hum of conversations blending with the background music.
Y/N, his best friend and hairstylist, looked up from her station. Her heart sank at the sight of him. she had seen this scene play out too many times. Trevor was here for his routine post-breakup hair wash, a ritual that had become all too familiar over the years. Y/N had been harboring a secret crush on him for as long as she could remember, but  Trevor seemed oblivious, always lost in his own world of fleeting relationships.
"Hey, Z," Y/N greeted softly, trying to mask the concern in her voice. "Another rough one?"
Trevor sighed, running a hand through his tousled hair. "Yeah, you could say that. Mind if I get the usual? I need to clear my head."
Y/N nodded, motioning for him to take a seat at the shampoo station. As Trevor settled into the chair, Y/N prepared the water, making sure it was just the right temperature. She poured a generous amount of shampoo into her hands and began to massage it into his scalp.
Trevor closed his eyes, a look of relief washing over his face. "I don't get it, Y/N. Why can't I keep a relationship? What's wrong with me?"
Y/N's heart ached at the vulnerability in his voice. She had heard these questions before, each time feeling a pang of sympathy mixed with frustration. "There's nothing wrong with you, Z. Sometimes things just don't work out. It's not always about you."
Trevor huffed, his eyes still closed. "Maybe. But it feels like I'm the common denominator. Every time, it's the same story. I think it's going great, and then bam, it's over."
Y/N continued to work the shampoo through his hair, her fingers moving in soothing circles. "Maybe you're just picking the wrong people. Or maybe you're not ready for something serious yet."
Trevor opened his eyes, looking up at Y/N with a mix of confusion and curiosity. "What do you mean?"
Y/N hesitated, unsure if she should delve deeper. "I just mean that maybe you're not looking for the right things in a relationship. Or maybe you're not being yourself fully. Sometimes it takes time to figure out what you really want."
Trevor sighed again, leaning back into the chair. "Maybe you're right. I just... I don't know. It feels like I'm always chasing something that slips through my fingers."
Y/N's heart pounded in her chest. She wanted to tell him how she felt, how she had always been there for him, how she had seen him at his best and worst, and still cared for him deeply. But fear held them back. Fear of ruining their friendship, fear of rejection, fear of breaking the fragile balance they had maintained for so long.
Instead, she kept her thoughts to themselves, focusing on washing away his stress with each stroke. "You deserve to be happy, Z. And you'll find someone who sees you for who you really are. Just don't lose hope."
Trevor smiled faintly, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly. "Thanks, Y/N. I don't know what I'd do without you."
Y/N's heart fluttered at his words, but she forced themselves to remain calm. "That's what friends are for, right?"
--- --- --- 
The days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. Each time Trevor found himself single again, he would return to the salon, seeking solace in the routine that had become his anchor. And each time, Y/N was there, listening, comforting, and silently yearning for him to see them in a different light.
One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink, Trevor walked into the salon, a familiar look of dejection on his face. Y/N's heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. This time felt different, though. There was a deeper sadness in his eyes, a weariness that hadn't been there before.
"Hey, Y/N," he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Hey, Z," Y/N replied, her voice gentle. "Rough day?"
Trevor nodded, sinking into the chair at the shampoo station. "Yeah. Really rough."
Y/N began her familiar routine, her fingers moving through his hair with practiced ease. As she worked, Trevor began to talk, his voice a mix of frustration and sadness. "I thought this one was different, Y/N. I really did. But she said I was too distant, too focused on other things. She didn't think I was serious about us."
Y/N's heart ached at his words. She wanted to scream that she saw him, that she understood him in ways no one else did. But instead, she kept her voice steady. "Maybe she wasn't the right one for you, Z. Maybe she didn't see all the amazing things about you."
Trevor sighed, leaning back into the chair. "Maybe. But it just feels like I'm never enough. Like I'm always missing something."
Y/N's hands stilled for a moment before resuming her gentle motions. She took a deep breath, gathering her courage. "Z, have you ever thought that maybe you're looking for the wrong things? Maybe what you need isn't out there, but right in front of you?"
Trevor opened his eyes, looking up at Y/N with a mixture of confusion and curiosity. "What do you mean?"
Y/N's heart pounded in her chest. This was it. The moment she had been dreading and hoping for. "I mean that maybe you've been overlooking something, or someone, who cares about you more than anyone else ever could."
Trevor's eyes widened slightly, realization slowly dawning on him. "Y/N, are you saying...?"
Y/N nodded, her hands trembling slightly. "I've been your best friend for years, Z. I've seen you at your best and worst, and I've always cared about you. More than just a friend."
Trevor stared at them, his mind racing. "I... I never realized. I always thought you were just being a good friend."
Y/N smiled sadly. "I was. But it was always more than that for me. I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to ruin what we have. But I can't keep pretending that I'm okay with just being your friend."
Trevor sat up, turning to face Y/N fully. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
Y/N shrugged, tears welling up in her eyes. "I was scared. Scared that you wouldn't feel the same way, scared that I'd lose you. But I can't keep hiding how I feel."
Trevor reached out, taking Y/N's hand in his. "Y/N, I don't know what to say. This is a lot to take in."
Y/N nodded, squeezing his hand gently. "I know. And I don't expect you to have all the answers right now. I just needed you to know how I feel."
Trevor looked into Y/N's eyes, a myriad of emotions playing across his face. "I need time to process this, Y/N. But I promise, I won't let this ruin our friendship. You're too important to me."
Y/N smiled through her tears, relief flooding her chest. "That's all I can ask for, Z."
--- --- --- 
The days that followed were a whirlwind of emotions for both of them. Trevor found himself thinking about Y/N constantly, replaying their conversations in his mind. He had always known that Y/N was special, but he had never considered the possibility of something more between them.
As time passed, he began to see Y/N in a new light. He noticed the way her eyes sparkled when she laughed, the way she always seemed to know exactly what to say to make him feel better, the way she cared for him with a depth that he had never experienced before.
One evening, as the sun set, Trevor found himself standing outside the salon, his heart pounding in his chest. He took a deep breath, gathered his courage, and walked inside. Y/N was there, as always, working on a client's hair. she looked up and smiled when she saw him, but there was a hint of uncertainty in her eyes.
"Hey, Z," Y/N greeted, her voice tentative.
"Hey, Y/N," Trevor replied, his voice steady. "Can we talk? After you're done?"
Y/N nodded, her heart racing. "Of course. Just give me a few minutes."
Once the client had left and the salon was empty, Trevor approached Y/N, his heart pounding in his chest. "I've been doing a lot of thinking, Y/N. About what you said."
Y/N's breath caught in her throat. "And?"
Trevor  took a deep breath, reaching out to take Y/N's hand in his. "And I've realized that you're right. I've been looking for something that was right in front of me all along. You."
Y/N's eyes widened, hope and disbelief mingling in her gaze. "Z, are you saying...?"
Trevor nodded, his grip on her hand tightening. "I'm saying that I care about you, Y/N. More than just a friend. I don't know what the future holds, but I want to see where this can go. With you."
Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes as she looked into Trevor's earnest gaze. "I've wanted to hear those words for so long, Z. I care about you too. More than anything."
Trevor smiled, pulling them into a tight embrace. "Then let's take this one step at a time. Together."
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oconist · 18 hours
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I posted a note saying how bad I feel for Esteban but how glad I am he's leaving Alpine (meaning to say that I hope he goes to a good team) and a good friend of mine replied with "yeah I don't like him, bad driver, agreed" and I have no idea how to respond to that... I'm a new F1 fan so no stats ready but I DO know he's not a bad driver but all I can talk about is his background growing up but IDK I need help responding pls?
hi!! same sentiment here, hope he has a contract but glad he left that toxic team.
he's not a bad driver, despite what people say. if u check his stats in feeder series like f3 n gp3 he was a consistent driver that was usually in the podium. if you check his early f1 stats, he had good first full year in force india (points in every race except a retirement and a p12) and was usually close to checo in the standings (if he wasn't being disqualified or had retirements) or his other teammates (last year with 6 retirements vs gasly's 2 and like a 4? 6? point difference)
the year with the biggest position difference is 2020, covid year, in which esteban had not raced in an f1 car for a year against dric who had already a year on the team.
most people think he's a bad driver because of the collisions he has been in, specially with his teammates, but only two of them have been fully his fault (a collision with perez and now in monaco with gasly). the problem is the people he gets in collisions with, and the reason why most people are quick to blame him. drivers that, as usual, blame the other before checking the on-board after the race (which is normal behaviour btw and totally expected, it's weirder if a driver doesn't defend themselves) but ocon never really defends himself, and his biggest/most memorable crashes are with drivers like checo, alonso and verstappen that have big diehard fanbases.
it's true that his style is agressive, but he has also proven he is a team player when needed (defended gasly in australia 2023 after the crash, does follow team orders on the radio, not to mention that he has never talked badly about any team nor teammate he has had and is always cheering the team up on the radio [radio this year after alpine sucked, he was the first to open the radio and cheer the team up, while gasly said the car sucked (true)]). people forget that your teammate is your first rival, but ocon doesn't and unless he is told otherwise, he races them as if they were any other driver. and he normally is on par with his teammate, so of course there are going to be fights between them.
most of the time he does deliver with his overtakes and defense. he is good at managing tyres (record for longest stint in c3 tyres in baku, turkey 2021 where he didn't change tyres, alpine relying on him to manage tyres for all their one pit stop strategies all these years) and good at qualifying.
also, he has never been in a good car, either backmarkers (now and his first half year in f1) or midfield cars and yet he has a win, a 2nd place and a 3rd place. he is consistently in the points if the car allows it, has been praised by prost and is a good test driver and at giving feedback.
i hope the reason why he left alpine is because of the disrespect he has been put through and i really hope that he has a contract for next year. i have never seen a driver been more attacked by his own team (rossi, bruno, otmar) than ocon in the recent years.
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jellyfishoreo1206 · 2 days
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You can ignore this if you want but!! I have an idea for a request: Gavril and mc trying to make homemade cheese together. Whether Mc already knows how to make cheese or not can be up to you!
Making Cheese with Gavril
Notes: I'M BACK, I SWEAR GUYS I AM NOT DEAD. Seriously I'm so sorry for leaving y'all w/o anything, my motivation to write anything had disappeared and finals bombarding me SUCKKKED. BUT I'M FINALLY FREE, RAHHHHHHH!!!! Anyway I was reminded of this one ask Part got last year with a cheese maker reader/food taster (I couldn't find it but it's somewhere on their dash, so credit to the person who asked the ask!) and I thought why not use that? Enjoy reading! (He may be OOC guys, it's been a while since I last wrote T~T)
Warnings: Mentions of alcohol in here (idk if Gavril drinks alcohol but considering the crap he goes through, that boy needs a DRINK)
----
Working as a cheese maker is a lot of work, as simple as it may seem to others outside of the profession. Physically demanding your attention each and every day. But that was part of the job either way. Doesn't mean it can't be fun, especially if you're a fanatic of cheese.
Tomorrow was your day off, your muscles finally being able to relax from the constant lifting, stirring, and pressing that they had to endure. You had a pretty good idea of what to do when you came back from work, and that was to relax until the early hours of the morning.
It was getting dark; the sun setting as it casted its long shadows onto the ground below. You felt yourself sinking into the couch cushion, the nerves of your limbs becoming fuzzy as your mind went numb watching the screen of the TV, some random show you couldn't bother to pay attention too for the last couple of hours.
A ping from your phone pulls your attention away from the show you were mindlessly watching, slowly pushing yourself up from the couch— wincing a bit as your limbs were finally moving again after so long—as you reached for it. You had a pretty good guess of who it was, as he was the only one who texted you on a daily basis.
Open your window please <3
"Didn't know my day could get any better." Smiling, you sent him a message back, standing up from the couch as you stretched your arms high above your head; a few of your joints popping in the process, letting out a sigh of satisfaction.
Which one?
Bedroom window
Omw
It scared the crap out of you when he first appeared at your window with little to no warning, but with how things usually played out in your life, you got used to it eventually.
A smile graced your face when you saw him perched by your window with an eager look on his face, his goopy tail seemingly wagging at the sight of you once you approached closer to the window.
Thank god he actually came when it was dark this time, you don't need another situation happening with your neighbor freaking out to the police.
"Hey." You offered quietly in greeting, wrapping your arms around his neck as you nuzzled into his skin—enjoying the warmth he seemed to radiate. He copied your actions, wrapping his arms around your waist—his grip gentle yet tight as he pulled you to himself.
"Hello, darling." He mumbles into your hair, placing a kiss atop your head.
"Didn't know you were coming back so soon?"
"Wanted to surprise you."
"Well, color me surprised."
~~~
"So," Your back was turned to Gavril as you poured the two of you drinks, "-anything new happened on your crazy adventure?"
At this point it was routine for the both of you. Gavril comes back, you make sure he isn't injured, catch up with each other's lives. Most of the time Gavril's stories seem to be a tad bit more interesting than yours, and concerning at the same time.
Very concerning.
"Not much," He starts, "-but I did get chased by some agents a few weeks back.." A awkward smile appears on his face as he shrugged his shoulders. His coat was currently laid across his lap, his fingers fiddling with the frayed edges while he looks around the room. Walking over to him, you offered him the glass as you sat down in the chair next to him, he gladly took it—taking a small sip of it before placing it down onto the table. You took a sip of your own drink, the liquid giving your throat a slight burn that soon settled into a slight tingle.
It's been a while since you last had a drink, not crazy long ago though, watching as the liquid swirls in the glass before bringing it back up to your lips again—embracing the burning yet warming feeling of the liquid.
"Did that same redhead appear again?" Gavril mentioned him once or twice before to you, you're not sure what the name of the guy is, all you know is that he constantly reappears and how cowardly he can be.
"No, only his buddy showed up this time. Wasn't like anything changed though." The corners of his lips hint at a smile, bringing a hand up to the one prominent curl of his hair as he plays with it for a bit, twirling it around his finger. "I wonder how he even got that far in without quitting." You murmured out. From what you've heard, FBI training is no joke, and very intense. Both physically and mentally. Those who can't handle the challenge usually quit early on; and if they do pass, then there's the insane amount of cases that would affect nearly anyone. So for the redhead to get that far still puzzles you.
"I wonder the same too."
You continued to talk for what seemed like hours, pouring yourselves a few more drinks as the day slowly faded away into the early hours of the morning. Your muscles felt relaxed, more at ease; a comforting haze overtaking your brain as you let today's worries slip away. It doesn't seem Gavril is feeling the effects of the drink other than the nearly invisble tint of red on his cheeks and his relaxed posture instead of the regular stiffness.
Drinking the last bit of the liquid left in your cup, you stand up from your chair as you head towards the fridge, looking back towards Gavril to offer him something to eat, "You hungry?"
He hums out in confirmation, head now resting on top of his folded arms, eyes closed. Peering into the fridge, you clicked your tongue; no cheese. Searching every corner of the fridge, nope, nada. What a pickle you were in.
You could just go to the convince store that's not far from here, 10 minutes by foot. But is it opened? Checking the time on your phone, no, they closed just a few minutes ago. Are you sure your eyes didn't just missed the cheese?
Second time looking, again, nothing.
While searching the fridge for a third time, a thought pops up.
'Well...there's milk, and a few lemons...' Looking in the cabinet next to the fridge, yup, salt and some leftover animal rennet.
Ah, a quick and easy solution to your small problem.
Quickly getting to work, you grabbed two small bowls, pouring water into both of them. Rinsing and cutting the lemon, you squeezed some of the juice into one of the bowls, mixing it and setting it aside. For the second bowl, you added some animal rennet into the water, mixed it and set it aside with the other. Once placing the pot on top the stove, you felt the embrace of two arms wrapping around your midsection with the added weight of something on your shoulder. Peeking behind you to see Gavril, with a curious look in his eyes.
"Something wrong?"
"What..exactly are you doing?"
"Ran out of cheese, so I'm making some." You respond cheerily, a tired smile spreading on your face. Turning back to the task at hand, you missed the way that red tint on his face seemed to have become darker, hugging you closer to himself as he watches your hands at work.
Despite you guys dating for several months, he still gets shy about acts of affection. Kisses, praises, gifts, being pampered; It just gives him that fluttery feeling that cascades through him. It's not that he hates it, no far from that, it's just that he doesn't know what to do. Being isolated from everyone—for who knows how long—and his only company as rats made him rather awkward. You don't mind it though—it's adorable to you whenever he hides his face in the shadow of his hood when you give him a kiss on the cheek—you want him to be comfortable around you, so usually give him ways out or just let him control the pace.
"Can I help?"
"Of course! Just, wash your hands first."
---
"So I just, pour it in?" There was a hint of hesitation in his voice, looking back and forth at the bowl with the animal rennet mixture and the pot of milk that was just taken off the heat. You had your phone playing some music— since you felt that the atmosphere was a bit too quiet—with one of Gavril's favorite rock bands playing as you guided him through the steps of making cheese.
"Yup, then just stir it in gently."
You watched as Gavril does as he was told, although a bit hesitantly once he began stirring. Walking over to him, you laid your hands atop his hands on the spoon, showing him the proper way to stir the cheese-to-be mixture. The contact brought a blush to his cheeks, a small smile forming on his face.
"Now that's done," Putting a lid on the pot, "-we wait for 10 minutes."
---
"You're gonna want to cut it in a grid-like pattern, like this!" Using a long knife, you cut two lines into the semi-solid mixture before handing the knife over to Gav.
"Oh, seems easy enough." He muttered to himself, changing the way he held the knife before holding it properly in his grip.
"Make sure to reach the bottom when cutting, cause right after this step is done, we're straining the liquid from the solids."
---
"I'll handle this part. I'll need to dunk the cheese in some hot water in order to stretch it properly." After straining out the cheese from the whey, you now needed to stretch it until it reached the right firmness. Gavril nods, as he lingers, a excited smile appearing on his face, his fangs peaking out.
Dunking the cheese into the water, you begin stretching. This part you somewhat don't like, it's not that the water is boiling hot, it just makes your skin irritated if it's submerged for long periods of time. Though it is a good way to release stress, it's like slime in a way. Edible slime, huh.
---
After adding the salt, you finally finished, good old Mozzarella cheese. Rolling it into small balls and storing it in some of the whey, you sit down as Gavril pops a ball of cheese into his mouth, a big smile appearing on his face.
A smile comes across your face as well, glad he's enjoying it. It's nice spending time with him, in moments like these. You kinda forget the fact that several month ago that he broke into your house and scared the living shit out of you when you realized you almost got killed.
...Does that count as Stockholm Syndrome??
Before you could think any further, a light poke to your arm brings you out of it. Looking towards Gavril, you see that he's offering you some cheese, a bashful smile on his face as a tint of red makes itself known. Aw, that's sweet of him.
"You can have some.."
"Thanks Gav." Popping the piece of cheese into your mouth, you savor the moment. Cheese tastes so much better when you're making it with those you care about.
What a great way to spend your day-off.
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jujutsustraycats · 8 hours
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Hey ish! Your school would be starting in a few days and here a few things I wish someone told me when I was about to start my journey for 11th! Some of these might apply to you too even though the paths I have and you will be taking are completely different.
Next 2 years are gonna teach you a lot. They'll put you through the highest of high and lowest of lows. They'll change you as a person. They'll teach you so much about life (and also how people can be). Things would get overwhelming at times. You wouldn't understand what the fuck is going on at times. A lot of times you'd be left confused and hurt and alone for both, academic and non academic reasons. Also, you'd get a lot of career advice so you need to know how to filter out the useless ones! The best way to check authenticity can be reflect on the achievements of the one giving advice.
Even though your classmates might be in the same stream, you'll realise that everyone has a different story and that, in the worst ways possible too. There'd be times when it'd feel like none of your peers understand your visions and aim for future, there'd be times you wouldn't have a buddy to chat about your life philosophies with who also has the same opinions as yours (but remember to not give up on people as a whole okay? You'd find people you vibe with at the end of the day, you just have to be bold enough to put yourself out there!)
There'd be also times you might end up severely over worked and sleep deprived (but make sure not to drink so much coffee that your hands and shaking and your heart is beating so fast that your body goes into fight and flight mode thinking you're having panic attack lol). You know ish, these 2 years might completely make you or break you, but remember to not give up despite whatever situations you might end up in.
I personally was a several-Olympiad-gold-medalist kinda overachiever till 10th (even in 11th lol, i didn't sit for it in 12th because my priorities changed. And I overlooked it, don't do that. Celebrate your smallest wins and remember to appreciate yourself for the smallest milestones or you'll end up severely burnt out. It has happened to me twice over the span of last 4 years till now.) But even I ended up seeing the greatest academic downfall i ever had in front of my eyes at many times during these 2 years. And you should know that it's okay. A lot of people are going to be tough on you but try your hardest not to be one of them. Being kind to oneself can be difficult but try your best okay? And you said you are a perfectionist aren't you? Take care little dove.
I've seen a lot in these two years too. A lot of your academic experience also depends on what kind of teachers you get and me, personally, oh my teachers were pos and sadists. They'd bully me for the most stupid reasons (haha losers. You said i wouldn't be able to do it? Well. fuck y'all ✨ [you'd have to learn to be indifferent at times and not let their or anyone else's words get through you. Learn to develop a strong self belief.]) and I seriously hope you get better teachers.
But oh ish not every elder is bad, you'll get some amazing teachers whom you'd never want to break ties with. Hold on to them! okay? You'd also get really amazing friends who you'd know are going to last a lifetime and would be there for you in your toughest times. Hold on to them as well! Some bastards are too good to let go. Ha!
And also, in return, remember to be kind to your peers because you don't know what they might be going through (not to scare you but I had 2 of my friends who'd almost commit suicide, so yeah it can get scary for both, you and them at times but remember to heal them with your love and support. It's an age you all need each other!)
It's gonna be fun, full of lessons, scary, exciting and adventurous at the same time. You'd hate it sometimes and you'd love it sometimes, but despite all MASTI NAHI RUKNI CHAHIE!!! You won't ever get these 2 years back so make sure you don't walk out without making some amazing memories!! Vandalise stuff, copy the sign of principal to escape the school, bunk the classes (to study or not, your choice) have deepest conversations and most light hearted jokes and banters the exact other day, sleep in the class, eat from under the bench, give impromptu speeches on seminars and farewells, break rules....whatever ish. Whatever gets your heart pumping and adrenaline rushing. Because while it's the starting of peak years of your career, you should remember to be a human and have fun at times too. It's okay. It's normal. It's needed. One shouldn't be guilty about it.
Getting less than perfect marks on a few tests isn't gonna harm you as much as you think it will. The ones who love you will continue to love you. The ones who admire you will continue to admire you. The ones who support you will continue to support you.
Baki, main hun idhar hi ❤️ kabhi bhi kuch problem ho toh AA Jana apni badi behen se advice lene, I'll try my best to help you out. As I said the other day, the pain and trauma these 2 years have put me through has only served to make me more empathetic and protective of my juniors so if you come to me with loads of rants i won't say cliché things like "Stay strong". I'd first and foremost listen to you and simply that. I'd listen to you for as long as you want me to. Because sometimes you'd simply just wanna be heard ❤️
I'll try my best to be there for you! If nobody got you, I do! Remember that, okay? ✨
... Dear gods, I don't even know what to say. You made me cry. Like, tears actually sprung up in my eyes. Happy ones, though. Don't worry too much.
I'm not one for physical affection but I would've hugged you so hard if I were there. Thank you. This genuinely made my day.
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crazyforclones · 14 hours
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I am so ill over Mario and Peach
Continue reading to listen to me absolutely lose my mind over these goobers
Establishing character:
I just adore Mario and Peach so much. And before I get those funny people always like “oh Mario hates peach,” or “peach never “gives” Mario anything for saving her! He probably only does it to get something from her-“ Ima need yall to shut your trap ok 👹
First of all, Nintendo, especially with Mario characters, had no idea how to characterize their characters in the beginning. Peach changes in almost every single different medium. Take the old Nintendo power (I think) comic called the “super Mario adventures.” in which Peach is a lot more outgoing, strong, sassy, and a literal general.
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Not saying this is a bad rendition of peach I actually like it! But I use it as an example of how these characters have changed over the years. And also, often times in games or stories like these where they focus more on the characters than gameplay, we see a more accurate and fleshed out character. Which is why in some other Mario games, characters often say things that might seem rude or out of character but is put there for comedy. (Nintendo obsession with making fun of Luigi in every rpg game is an example 💀). And the same goes for Mario, he’s changed a lot. But I feel in the current renditions of the characters, they have a much more stable idea of their character.
Also another cute picture from the comic-(sorry quality poopy I took it from mine)
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This is peach dreaming about marrying Mario btw.
Mario’s character:
From what we see now, Mario is just an average blue collar man in his late twenty’s who is quite short and also plump. Despite this he is still THE most brave, athletic, talented, determined, occasionally hot headed, and an overall idol to the entire mushroom kingdom. He is often labeled as THE Mario. And people also express their surprised when they actually see what he looks like 💀. But the reason I bring this up is Mario is quite literally just some guy. He’s some guy who entered this foreign kingdom, heard there was a Princess in trouble, and as a New York Italien blue collar worker he could’ve easily just went on with his day or ignored these random peoples pleas, but instead, he immediately decides he will travel multiple worlds so he can save this princess and help the kingdom (also cause the game needed a incentive but still-). From the get go mario was ready to help people. He helps them not expecting anything in return, but because he has a good sense of Justice. There’s hundreds of side quests you can do with Mario, sometimes they’re ridiculous. But you know what? Mario will do it. Because he likes helping people. Because he’s a role model. And because he’s just a good guy.
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Mario and Peach as a couple:
Most of the time, people who criticize or make fun of their relationship are often doing it as a joke which is fine, but this is for the people who genuinely think Peach is a jerk for not giving Mario “more” for what he does.
People often say “Mario has saved her so many times and all he gets is a kiss on the cheek!”
Now despite the fact Peach doesn’t owe Mario anything just because he saved her, I can see why people might be upset over this. However, like I said before, Mario does things not expecting rewards, but just because it’s the right thing to do and he has a duty.
People forget one dire things when it comes to love like this:
Love can be shown in many different ways
Peach kissing Mario in the cheek wasn’t proof that they were in love or together. I’d argue they weren’t really at all in the beginning. Except maybe a slight crush. A kiss on the cheek is often just a gesture of gratitude. Peach usually kissed anyone who saved her. It’s just her way of saying thank you.
What really shows that Mario and peach love one another is how they interact. The things they say and do. They don’t need to kiss to prove they’re in love, it’s simply implied with how they interact with one another. Whether it’s small gestures like holding one’s hand before a big game, or something such as trusting the other person to give you a boost so you can save your partners rabbid version of themselves from an evil space fish.
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Or! It can be something more direct, like peach literally looking Mario in the eyes and saying this:
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Or when she is scared but assured herself she will be ok as long as she has Mario!
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It’s these little things that speak larger than words. Mario and peach simply have a relationship that is there but doesn’t need to be forced down your throats to convince you that they’re in love. They simply are. And their love is shown in many ways. Love comes in all shapes and sizes, and so does Mario and Peach!
Now have Mario dancing like a middle aged dad snapping his little fingers to make Peach laugh :)
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"It’s haunting to know that you still cry for something today that you also cried for 15 years ago."
Umm idk if this is too personal but would you break down why you gave each marauder the line that you did?
For some reason, Sirius' really stuck with. Literally I can't stop thinking about it.
If there was an award for best ask anon, I think you would win!!! I love when people ask about the intricacies of my writing because I just feel like everything that I write is so deeply personal to me!
This will be quite long as I think the best way to tackle this is to address each one with its context and then how I relate it to each marauder. So buckle in!!!
Anything underlined is referencing my other writing and will be linked!
See the original post here!
James: Two lives cannot overlap - one must be forgiven to forge the other. 
So I wrote this about the rivers of the Underworld in Greek mythology, in a wider piece of writing on coping with grief. It refers specifically to the river Lethe, the river of forgetting, where souls drink from it to forget their life before being reincarnated. I have mixed feeling about James as a character - on one hand as a young boy he's incredibly privileged to the point of almost ignorance but then is forced into a war he cannot fight and reasonably win. In a way this line can be applied to James in two ways: 1) he had to grow up to cope with the rapidly changing world he'd been basically thrown into and 2) harry could never defeat Voldemort if his parents were still alive. James and lily had to die so harry would have nothing to lose.
Sirius:  It’s haunting to know that you still cry for something today that you also cried for 15 years ago.
Okay so this was written in the same piece as above, in reference to a childhood memory. I cried for comfort but no one could come to me. No one chose to comfort me in that moment. I think we all have moments where we think 'I need my mum' or something similar but at it's core, its a plea for comfort - you want to be held, cradled, for the burden to be taken away. Sirius Black was denied affection as a child, denied love as an adult and then denied his life when he fell through The Veil. He had his friends as support but he also had to stare at James and Effie, Remus and Hope. He had moments where he needed parental love, where he felt like he would die without it. He was denied the chance to make sure Harry never experienced that, and when he did get the chance, it was ripped away almost immediately.
Remus: It is strange to cling onto remnants of someone who is no longer there.
This was written about losing someone and still having to live amongst their things. Everything is normal except the person is gone. It's describing that moment when you walk into a room and you feel their presence, like you're in the living room and it's so easy to convince yourself they're in the kitchen, but they aren't. The space they left behind is empty. I think with Remus, again it can apply in two ways: 1) himself - his whole identity is basically fed to him through the label of 'werewolf', the Order use him as a monster to tame a bigger beast. He is constantly mourning. In Hogwarts, he mourns his younger self. In the Order, he mourns the teenage, full of life, naive version of him. As an adult he mourns every version of himself - they trail behind him like a ball and chain. 2) everyone he loses - Remus outlives his best friends, and even the one he gets back, oh god he got him back but at what cost? Remus is a walking graveyard.
Peter: In every story, someone has to leave. This is not a burden taken lightly, nor is it one that can be shared.
I wrote this about Caesar and Brutus. When Caesar died, so did Brutus. As Brutus lives, so does Caesar. Today when one is mentioned, the other rarely goes unnamed. Brutus orchestrates the murder of Caesar because he fears his ambition and the ruin it will bring to Rome. Peter is both Caesar and Brutus. He fears Voldemort enough to do his bidding only because he's never had such power before. We see exactly how Peter's loyalty is manipulated - he felt more important to Voldemort then he did to his friends and so his loyalty changed accordingly.
Lily: The sunflowers turn to the light, but the sun will never recognise their presence.
Growth is difficult to justify in a non-physical sense. This was inherently about being an observer in my own life. We do things that have unremarkable impacts until one day the fallout of our actions are so grand we cannot outrun them. In terms of Lily, I do think in hindsight this may be more relevant to her characterisation moreso than her character. She is often represented as just a vessel to carry Harry and is overlooked as a complex character and a key member of the Order. James forgot his wand on the sofa - she protected Harry. She was an incredibly smart witch - she was, is, more than just her offspring. Treat her accordingly.
Regulus: One day we all realise that the first thing we lose is ourselves.
My earliest memory is a hospital visit and a funeral. We do not realise that the process of growth is intertwined with the ritual of loss. You are allowed to mourn the person you used to be. Death isn’t exclusive to those burned or bombed or buried. Regulus loses his brother then he loses himself. He has a role to play as the prodigal son. He is actively cutting himself open and stitching himself back up to fit seamlessly into the mould his parents have created for him. He watched Sirius fail, so he couldn't. Maybe he did believe in blood supremacy at first or maybe the whole thing was a ploy to try and grasp at the power and autonomy he'd grievously been denied his entire life. Regulus knew himself so well he'd buried the body undetectably.
Pandora: Nobody talks of death lightly. Nobody talks of what it tends to leave behind.
We obsess over death - how to prevent it, how to cope with it, how to be clinical about it. Yes a person dies and we are left with the aftermath - clothes, shoes, pictures, their tea in the cupboard, hair still in the brush. But obviously, a person dies. People are complexes - the most inherent part of death to me is how a person can just end. With Pandora, this sits within the realm of the HC that she is a seer. She must standby and watch the people she loves die twice - once in her head and once in real life. She must watch over her friends and loved ones and grieve them as she lives alongside them. To her, a heart is just a stopwatch.
Evan: He carried on with his journey but made time to be part of mine.
I met an old man who told me that at the end of the day, you do wish you could it all over again. That we are often ungrateful until we lose the thing, then all we want is to get it back. Evan Rosier cherished everything; his sister, his friends, his childhood. But this made him so weary of loss. He was possessive and sometimes cruel. He would do anything to keep what was important to him, even join a blood supremacy cult to keep his best friends and sister safe. When you die, they say you get seven minutes to rewatch the happiest moments. When Evan Rosier dies, he sees Barty and Reg and Pandora.
Barty: You can love something that does not exist anymore. Something that has never existed cannot be loved.
This one is slightly harder to explain. I believe it to be human nature to chase the things that we have only had a taste of. You cannot want something you do not know. Though I do wonder if this is more an act of conditioning than something inherently of nature. To cognise something is to give it a reality, whether this be a thought, an idea or a notion.  Barty Crouch Jr was a waste of potential. 12 OWLs. 4 languages. He could've been whatever he wanted. You can assume he was unsuccessful in fulfilling his potential - unless he wanted to be dead. And who can blame him with a father like that. Barty had to fabricate everything - would lick up his father's approval like a dog until the day he realised none of it actually mattered.
Dorcas: All prior things are made of shards, of tatters. All prior things look different in the daylight.
Past lives are just that. Past, nonexistent. Windows are walls. Shields are not always protective. Dorcas Meadows was hunted and slaughtered by Voldemort himself. She, obviously, was a threat. A smart, cunning, powerful witch who made the Dark Lord himself worry just how successful he'd be if she remained alive. But none of this mattered from the second she hit the floor, heart slowing down, eyes closing. She was not the priest's favorite sacrificial lamb. She wasn't even a sacrifice.
Marlene: One day I will sit in an urn, and I too will be smaller than the day I arrived.
I wrote this about not rushing through life. It was about savoring moments and people and the ephemeral. Marlene was the casanova - wanted by all but touched by few. Her bloodline dies when she dies next to her brother. Filled with potential and life, even the brightest stars will fade away. Sacrifice is often forgotten, drawn over, especially if it isn't grand. Not quite the brightest witch of her generation, nor pretty enough to get the one person she truly wanted.
Mary: I wonder if forgetting is betrayal or if it’s a favour, a privilege of rest.
I was wondering whether remembering people disturbed the process of dying. We don't know of an afterlife or what happens after you die. Does reminiscing drag a soul away from rest? I hold the HC that Mary obliviated herself near and dear. In this way, it's just another person coping with loss. I think because it's so deeply personal, it's very difficult to express in words.
Andromeda: We learn that just because one person escapes the inevitable, the other does not.
I wrote this about Orpheus and Eurydice. It's a story I adore and it's also often misunderstood. This is why it’s a tragedy, and why love often is a tragedy - loss is inevitable. In the case of Orpheus and Eurydice, he loved her enough to try and save her. He loved her so much that he couldn’t. Andromeda is the survivor - survives her upbringing, survives a war, outlives her family. She takes in Teddy even though he's a glaring reminder of her daughter and every moment of a past she tried to outrun.
Narcissa: Love is always a choice, even when we make the wrong one.
Again, this is from me writing about Orpheus and Eurydice. Their story was never about retrieval or righting a wrong. Even if Eurydice had been returned, she was a ghost. This was always a story about saying goodbye. Oh I could lament about Narcissa for days. She is her own greatest tragedy. She was the model child out of her sisters. She lived the ideal trajectory and suffered for it. Obedience and cunning were bred into her. She couldn't save her husband, her house, her sisters or her son. Narcissa lived her life always saying goodbye, wishing she could instead say 'stay'.
Bellatrix: Sometimes, it feels like I have been exiled from my life and no one has thought to tell me.
This was written about nostalgia, and living like a stranger in your own life. It's about the means and ways and things we do to gain some semblance of control back into our lives. Bellatrix has always been a very interesting character to me. She upholds her pure blood upbringing, marries a pure blood and yet she strives for more. She becomes a deatheater and makes herself so valuable to Voldemort, she becomes an intrinsic part of his inner circle. She outshines her husband and sisters - she is the patriarch.
Anon. I hope this answers your question! If you'd like further details on any of these please send me another ask or DM! I'd love to hear your thoughts instead of scribing mine!
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bekolxeram · 3 hours
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I'm not on bird app, and TikTok is geoblocked here, so I don't usually get too deep into fandom drama, nor am I interested in it. Unfortunately, it seems like the drama is spilling over here, and it has me questioning my reading comprehension for the past few days honestly. So here goes nothing, if you don't want to read about fandom discourse (which I recommend, for your own mental health), feel free to ignore this post. I just feel like I'm going insane so I need to get it off my chest.
From what I've read here, someone on bird app demanded Lou to explain some racist/misogynist memes he posted on insta over a decade ago, which were still on his page until very recently. Lou replied with this screenshot:
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(Username crossed out to protect their identity.)
I've heard rumors of a certain subsection of the fandom impersonating bucktommy fans in order to stir up controversies. Again, I'm not on those sites, I can't confirm that, but I do admit the timeline is a bit suspicious. I get why some of you immediately rush to defend Lou and theorize that he was hacked, but I feel like it's such a cop out. Too many problematic figures get off scot-free just by claiming they were hacked. I'll hold out my judgement on that until more verified information comes out.
So for consistency's sake, I'm going to play devil's advocate, let's assume it really was Lou who tweeted that. I still don't see how it makes him an ableist?
First, it wasn't him who made this comment, the owner of that instagram account did. It wasn't even someone else's tweet or meme that he reposted, or did he signify his agreement to this statement. It was literally someone else's insta bio, a line that somebody else used to represent themself.
Second, look at the insta account itself. It's a K-pop stan account with 0 post and only 1 follower. It follows 19 celebrity pages, so it's safe to say someone made this account especially to snoop on celebrity news. How did Lou even find out the existence of such an account? That user must've initiated some kind of contact with Lou first, either through DMs or comments. Lou's an actor on a hit TV show, I'm sure he gets random comments from strangers every day. For a random stan account to stand out, they must've made an impression, probably not a good one either.
Third, it was posted as a direct response to someone demanding explanation for Lou's past problematic insta content. Why would he make an unrelated ableist joke about bullying blind kids in response to that? It's clearly a sort of gotcha attempt at pointing out the hypocrisy of the people pestering him online lately. They accuse Lou of being a bigot and try to get him fired, but at the same time they make jokes like this, so they're not in a place to judge him. Which is..... a shit retort. Lou's social media history WAS problematic, people have to right to question him on that. Him hitting back is whataboutism, but it doesn't make it less true, those people ARE bullies.
As I've said before, you don't have to be okay with Lou's past. I personally don't care, as I don't know him as a person, I also don't know who he was 10 years ago and what kind of environment he was in. As long as he's not actively using his platform to promote harmful views or using his fame to exploit people, I'm as okay with him as his co-workers are.
You do you, you can dislike him, outright hate him even, but you have to ignore all context and twist words around in order to paint him as an ableist asshole with this and this only.
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piqtescue · 3 days
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If your watching "Under The Bridge" or planning to, here's a PSA from someone born & raised in that city. Oh, and Kelly's personal info and location bc she deserves absolutely no peace✨😊
((if you dont know this series, or who im talking about, I swear to god I do not do reveal personal information lightly and take revealing someone else's very seriously- but Kelly is a cold blooded psychopath and I urge you to google what she did))
I couldn't believe it when I heard the worst crime that has ever happened in my city was going to be made into a fucking hulu drama... I used to be so intrigued by true crime renditions, but this has made me rethink it all. The murder of Reena is something that makes us as locals sick to our stomachs, is still a very open wound to our city and her family and every day so many of us are forced to drive over the Craigflower Bridge, the place where she was brutally murdered. She was 14.
I never plan to watch "Under The Bridge" on Hulu as I really don't need it replayed back to me in a miniseries, but just need to give some PSA's here + gonna give you some recent photos of Kelly/Kerry and her location because she doesn't deserve the luxury of people forgetting what she fucking did:
To start, I'm not throwing shade to anyone watching the show- I know this doesn't affect everyone the same. Just want to make sure this bitch's face & the real story is plastered in your mind so you can publicly shame her if you wish, and realize this isn't just a miniseries- this actually happened.
Though the author who wrote the book this was based on was in search for their "humanity"- there is zilch in that sector for Kelly Ellard. None. See, Kelly was a teen when she lead the brutal murder of Reena and you might be pointing "upbringing and trauma/mental health" to blame- but don't even go there for a second. Warren is 100% holding the same sin for what they did but displayed actual guilt and talked to her parents. He knows what he did wrong and will live for it the rest of his life.
Kelly, a privileged psychopath from birth, is a disgusting, soulless slime who deserves nothing but to suffer for the rest of her days. Go read up on her parole hearings and realize in no way is she remorseful and in no way does she deserve to walk free or be a mother. She doesn't deserve to fucking breathe. Though if you read her most recent parole hearing, you will hear her speak of this series being "disrespectful to Reena's family": I want you to know she has finally learned to say what they want her to say after all these years; she doesn't give any fucks about Reena's family, all she cares about is leaving the past behind her but jokes on her- she will never get that luxury because we as residents won't let her.
✨Here's her new name/photos/insta account/location, ect✨
-She goes by Kerry Marie Sim now
✨Photos of what she looks like presently: here, and here and here.
✨Instagram: kehrisima007
Fun fact! In the second link I provided, she uses the hashtag "legally kidnapping our children" in relation to the Ministry of Child and Family Development's (canadian version of DCFS) involvement in her life. That was posted in 2021. Her day parole was then continued in 2022 & 2024, and it's unknown if she still lives with her children, but lets hope to god not.
✨Location:
Going by this article, she might be serving her sentence in the Fraser Valley Institution for Women, or might just have had her parole hearings there. But apart from the prison she's in, she is most definitely doing her day parole in the lower mainland of BC, from the looks of her instagram she hangs around Surrey and Langley.
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To end this PSA, if you ever do visit our city and are intrigued by this case as a true crime story enthusiast, I urge you to not come to the Gorge where Reena lost her life at in interest/excitement, but come with the intention of paying your respects and give a thought on just how far teen bullying can go, and how you yourself can advocate for it not to get to that point. Whether it be awareness, talking to your kids about speaking up or advocating for public discussion.
And if Kerry ever sees this: we will never let you have peace. You get no peace for your acts, and we will never. fucking. forget.
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majicmarker · 2 years
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things i had planned for the week:
wrap up july’s work projects
a bunch of new book promos for jailbait and shoot your shot so i’d have them on standby to post whenever
complete outlines for my next two books
filthy-but-emotionally-fraught eddissy one-shot
part 3, chap 2 of the hs eddissy series
things that i will not be getting done now thanks to the side effects of this recurring ocular migraine:
all of that
(except for work bc that Needs to get done)
((and tbf the book stuff also Needs to get done, but there’s just no way for me to manage that rn))
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stlangels · 3 months
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I am shaking with fucking rage listening to this state of the union i think maybe two other faces have made me instantly get this angry.
I am not your "fellow American." I refuse to be American if this is what it means to be American. I am human before I am an American.
I refuse to die before I see a free Palestine. I will see a free Palestine in my lifetime. I refuse to die before I can see a free world. I will see everyone free in my lifetime because I refuse to die without seeing it. It's probably impossible but I don't care because I have to see it. I'm sick of seeing anything else.
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bunnihearted · 1 month
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lately i've been finding it so so hard to be positive and hopeful. and it's making me so bitter and hateful. i hate it but i dont know what to do about it
#idk it's just all too much to deal w#i have sm pains and physical discomforts. money issues. stress bc my avpd is making school very hard for me to finish#i have suicidal thoughts and really bad anxiety every single day. i've basically begged the mental health care system for help for 7 months#like i've kept contacting them and asking them but they havent done anything at all for me. i dont even get to see anyone and talk#i just dont know what to do or how to handle it#im so stressed abt the future. i have to finish school but then choose smth so i can go to school/get a degree & get a job#im holding my mom down and back and i need to find a way to kove out from her and support myself#i have no friends to meet or hangout with and destress with etc etc and im really feeling the lack of it#idk the list just goes on and on and on#nothing is working and idk how to fix it. but also i know that me and only me have to find a way bc there is no help#i struggle bc of my avpd and mental health but there is no treatment for me to get. they just dont wanna give me *any* help at all#im just so frustrated. and every day is the same. everyday is full of some physical pain anxiety stress worries suicidal thoughts etc etc#i cant break free idk how!!!! my life is so fkn boring and pathetic and miserable#i never get to relax bc all of a sudden last year i got extremely noise sensitive. and it's never quiet anywhere in this city#anyway yeah i could just keep going. and like now im feeling anxious bc my tooth is aching :((#it -everything- never stops or lets up or relents. and it makes me wanna die even more.#so... idk im just incapable of being hopeful abt anything and that's really killing me idk
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whyismangososour · 6 months
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anyways I think my favorite steddie trope is when there’s any moment where steve is quiet and eddie gets so confused and stressed because he just has no clue what steve is thinking at all times despite the fact that canonically joe keery makes sure that every emotion steve feels is made PAINFULLY clear on his face at all times during the show and it’s pretty safe to assume that doesn’t change in fan works it’s just that eddie’s brain stops functioning properly around him
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thedreadvampy · 9 months
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I tried listening to Olivia Rodrigo and I'm sure this is really good for its target audience of Teen Girls Going Through A Breakup but has she actually ever put out a song that isn't about a guy cheating, breaking up with her and moving on to someone else?
like babe he's not coming back it's been 2 years you gotta find something else in your life
#red said#it's not to my taste. tbh#content aside pop music is going through a very early 2000s breathy oversinging phase#hated it with xtina and alanis hate it with ariana and olivia sorry#it's a personal taste thing but to me however hard you go with the backing track that kind of soft pretty vocal style kind of#drags it back into midtempo sludge for me#also tbh it's just extremely normal music. like i went over to her yt bc people were talking about how Weird vampire is#it's not though????? it's super not????#anyway the only one I've got anything out of is good 4 u cause she sounds more involved and less self-pitying on it#every other Olivia song I've heard sounds kinda the same bc they all have the same earnest self-pity vibe#which is what a lot of people need out of music! music that makes them feel the depth of their anger and sadness!#but idk it's never done it for me i like there to be something of a tongue in cheek or a hysterical edge#i think most of the songs I've heard from her are just too controlled and polished for them to not sound to me#like she's the person who sees you crying cause your partner is in hospital and goes YEAH I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL#MY EX CHEATED ON ME 5 YEARS AGO AND IT REALLY TRAUMATISED ME AND I'M STILL NOT OVER IT and then you have to comfort her#like i recognise she's a 20 year old making music for teenagers so that is. appropriate.#but i struggled with the wallowing then too. were i a Teen at school with Olivia's character i would be so desperate to tell GROW UP#and it's not the lyrics it really is the music#heartbreak is a perfectly good theme to write on but oh my god not every song about it needs to be a mouthful call to arms
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fantasmagoriam · 1 year
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Wolstinien Week 2023: Day 4 - Dragon
 I wonder if we’ll ever get to see a bigger version of Orn Khai, just like we did with Ehll Tou...
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j-esbian · 12 days
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sometimes i really do want to study the flavor of intense misogyny from older folks, especially when it comes from older women, that assumes all women and girls are sluts and deviants because (checks notes) fashion trends, which the individual consumer has no control over, means that most people’s only options, especially in summer, are to wear somewhat revealing clothing. because it’s hot.
#how have you gotten to this age and gone clothes shopping and not realized the landscape#like i first became aware of this problem at age 12#i didn’t want to wear short shorts and honestly COULDNT bc of school dress code. but it was hard to find another option#enter those plaid bermuda shorts#and i can only imagine it’s 100x worse now in an instagram tiktok age than it was when i was that age#bc god knows I was embarrassed to wear those. felt like they were actively trying to be as ugly as possible#but for swim suits it’s a whole other can of worms#i currently do not own one bc i don’t want to get a wedgie every 30 seconds#two piece bottoms are all advertised as Cheeky. and i already know i have more ass than expected for my waist size#and the other option is. board shorts#but you’re going to blame the 14 year old for wanting to go to the pool??#‘and then they wonder why guys keep staring at them. where are their mothers i can’t believe they’re allowed out like that’#be so for real right now. they’re kids. they should be allowed to have fun and go outside without being creeped on#i always try to meet them halfway with ‘yeah it sucks that there’s not a lot of modest styles of clothes available’ and they’re just like#‘well EYE spent $100 at a specialty online store’ but these kids are going to forever 21 with cash from babysitting or whatever. try again#your single solution does not apply to everyone#like a LOT of it feels like projection. ‘i acted out as a teen so my daughter will do the same’#just not a lot of self awareness. combined with internalized sexism they’re not willing to question#sometimes when my coworker goes on one of her rants about how she’s glad she never had daughters bc of the Way Teenaged Girls Are#i want to be like. i wasn’t like that. your granddaughter isn’t like that.#i genuinely want to study these people. how did you get to this point
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