#and i hate the days when i just don't feel anything or nothing Good and all i can do is try to distract myself with any random thing

[anastasiabowe]

I hope this isn't too much, but, can you write about JJK (Nanamin Toji and Choso) men and how they have a plus size girlfriend, and can you make it nsfw? It's ok if you can't! Happy Belated valentines day!💖💖

𝙏𝙤𝙤 𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙁𝙤𝙧 𝙈𝙚 - JJK men with plus size reader!

note: I loved writing this so much, this is one of my favorite requests! Also I'm making my way through requests for real this time💀

𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨:

♡ 𝙉𝙖𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙞 - The Admirer

Not another day goes by without Nanami being infatuated with you. Nanami always stops dead in his tracks when he sees you every morning dragging your feet into the kitchen, lazily smiling at him as you wiped the sleep from your eyes. He always puts whatever he was doing or eating down so he can get up and help wake you up with kisses and coffee breath.

Nanami never found anything wrong with you whenever you looked unhappy at yourself. He usually asks you what's the matter and gets shocked every time you mumble out "I'm fat." It hurts him every time you say that, knowing saying it seals it deeper into your head, making it a reality. Nanami never knew what to say when you say that but the usual "you're not fat, you're beautiful!" Which he too knows is getting old. Nanami knew nothing he said would completely erase the idea from your head since he himself is quite fit and muscular. But, he does know one way as to which helps you temporarily forget.

"Not there, Ngh! I'm sensitive there!" You squeal when he is laying on you, softly sucking on your tits. You guys didn't have much time, but he knew how to get you going fast.

"just relax baby, you know this feels good." His deep voice rung in your ears as he slowly brought his hand down to your cunt slipping it under your dress. "You're so beautiful Y/n, especially like this. You make me insane for you, absolutely psycho." He groans as he felt how wet you were. Your lips were red and wet from you biting on them. Everything felt so good, and there was nothing you wanted more than to be like this.

Nanami took his time, even though you guys had a dinner to attend, he had to slowly bring you to your high so it could crash down in the ultimate euphoric finish. He knew you were close by the increase of you squirming and pushing his shoulder with your hand so he could give your boobs a break.

"Uh uh, move your hands." He lowly commanded as his fingers inserted into you. You let out a moan gripping the back of Nanamin's head pushing him deeper into your chest.

"I-im cumming! Don't stop Kento, please don't stop!" You begged as he sped everything up. His tongue flicked your reddened nipples and his thumb circled your clit at the same time as his fingers fucked you finally pushing you over into a coma.

You let out a choked moan and Nanami chuckled as he helped you ride out your orgasm, taking his fingers from your cunt and and licked/sucked them clean.

"So fucking beautiful, fuck, it hurts just to look at you so cute and perfect for me. Too perfect for me."

♡ 𝙏𝙤𝙟𝙞 - The Fondler

Always touching you somewhere. You used to think that maybe he genuinely didn't realize how touchy he was, but you soon realized that he knows what he's doing. You guys could be simply watching a movie on a 4 seat couch, and out of those 4 seats, only 2 were taken. He would be either pulling you as close as you could into him, if he'd be laying on you.

He seemed like the type to hate clingy girls but he's the clingy one in the relationship! I mean everywhere you go, he's maybe 3 inches away, body touching yours, and hands gripping somewhere, and what I mean by somewhere, it's ass, tits, or thighs. You guys would be in Walmart and he'd have his hand in your back pant pocket, every once and a while squeezing your ass cheek. You guys could be driving home, his hand obviously on your thighs, or you could be simply reading a book in bed, and he'd be laying over you, one hand on your tits and the other holding his phone as he scrolled or watched something.

"Fucking love this ass, but you already know that though." Toji chuckled as his hips and your ass collided every 2 seconds. He loved how your ass rippled when you both made contact. He loved how he could grip you hips and squeeze the flesh on them, giving him the perfect handles to fuck you into oblivion. He knows that no matter how much he loves you and your body you will always find some reason to fucking hate yourself.

All through this fuck session, he keeps finding more things that you had said throughout the day about how much you hated your tummy, hated how wide you looked, hated your thighs and how they rubbed against each other, how much you hated how your feet hurt all the damn time. He never hated any of those, he never hated you, he never disliked any part of you, actually, how could he? You were so fine in so many different ways that even he himself gets surprised by, but he shouldn't because you are ethereal.

"Can't. Fucking. Get. Enough. Of. You." Toji said breathlessly as he now had you in the mating press. His hard chest against your soft tits felt so amazing in a weird way to him. Having your cute face so close, and your thighs wrapped around him had him cumming faster than usual.

"Sh-shit baby, I'm gonna cu-" he groaned loudly as he finished inside of you. You giggled, shocked he came this quick, but also turned on by how hot he was.

He didn't realize how much you turned him on until he really started thinking about it. Shit, now he's gonna have to work on not cumming so fast just thinking about you.

♡ 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙤 - The Overachiever

Choso always felt like he had something to prove with you, but definitely not in a bad way. He genuinely thinks you are way out of his league. Anything you complained about, he'd be there to do it better and more efficiently. If your feet hurt, he'd give you a whole massage AND he'd wash your feet. If you didn't like how the food tasted from a fast food restaurant, he'd go back and order a new meal telling them exactly what to do and how to do it better. He wanted to praise you, wanted to be there at your every need and desire. And when I mean every need and desire, I mean every need and desire.

Choso would do everything in his power to let you know how much he loved you. If you complained about anything you didn't like about yourself, that'd be everything he worshiped until you thought differently.

So when you complained about how your tummy couldn't fit into your jeans, he'd fuck you and fondle and praise how much he loved your tummy, "Fuck, I fucking love your tummy so fucking much, love it so much I wanna see it full with my baby, fuck imagine having my baby, oh that'd be so fucking hot." Even though you knew what he was doing and how it might be corny sometimes, it still made you love yourself so much more.

On that matter, if you weighed yourself and complained how you gained a few pounds, he will strictly fuck you by either carrying you or having you sit on his face, his favorite was the latter.

"Cho baby, I can't!" You whispered as he tried to tug you down on his face.

"Yes you can, and you will. Sit on my fucking face." His usual soft and cute demeanor was shifted into a dominant commanding demeanor. You only held yourself up by the help of the headboard, not even trying to lower yourself, afraid you might hurt him.

"Chooo, I don't wanna hurt you, please can we do something else?" You cried out. You did deep down wanted to sit on his face and have him ruin you, but it'd be so embarrassing if he'd tap your leg because he felt like you were crushing him. Choso only sighed and forcefully pulled you down catching you off gaurd. His arms locked around the base of your thighs, securing you onto his face. He even pushed his face up into your cunt to get deeper. You let out a moan as you felt him instantly sucking on your clit.

"F-fuck Cho, feels so good!" He chuckled sending vibrations straight to your core. His fingers dug into your thighs as his eyes rolled back. Your hand found its way to Choso's dick, you leaned back a little and started pumping his rock hard dick. You began to feel confident that he was okay, and you could finally relax, which Choso was so happy you did. You tasted so amazing, and he felt so amazing tasting yummy, and you touching him. Soon Choso came, and you right after. Your body shook as he continued to hold you down on his face, overstimulating you both.

Choso finally released his grip, letting you get off of his face and lay beside him. He had a cute smile on his face and looked so out of it. You laughed and he looked over at you. "We need to do this more often."

#jjk nanami #jujutsu nanami #kento nanami #nanami kento #nanami smut #Nanami x plus size reader #jjk toji #jujutsu kaisen toji #toji fushiguro #fushiguro toji #toji smut #jjk choso #jujutsu kaisen choso #choso kamo #kamo choso #choso smut #plus size girls #requests are open

[l4zyb0n35]

HOLD ME AGAIN

ANGST-FLUFF FIC

PAIRING: Alastor x Reader

SUMMARY: Alastor has been neglecting you recently ever since a fight, and it gets to you.

WARNINGS: GN!reader (i think), usage of Y/N, Emotional Distress, Mental Health Issues, Self Harm but not physical, Depiction of strained communication, Intense emotional scenes, Brief mention of Physical discomfort, Subtle mention of codependency, really good writing skills, Overall angst but major fluff at the end because you will never see me write angst w/o fluff. Lmk if i missed anything.

NOTICE: please don't copy or steal or translate any of my work or you will be haunted in your dreams and i will spawn something unpleasant at your porch the next day. But...thanks for liking my work !! >.< Based off this post i posted an hour ago. Damn that means this was written in an hour.

Requests are open, support is highly appreciated!

WORDS: 1.4k

〰ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ ..。.:*･ﾟ♫₊ ♪ *♬‧₊enjoy!~

You and Alastor loved each other.

That’s how it all began, too.

the two of you meeting, and at first sight, when those feelings sprawled in your hearts at eye contact,

you guys knew there was a connection.

So, what was happening now?

Well, you were sitting in bed…spacing out into the bayou. You couldn’t sleep because there was a light on, and it usually bothered you whenever you were going to sleep.

You were tired from today though.

But you couldn’t ask Alastor to turn it off, as he kept it on to sit in bed and write his script.

“…Alastor…how long are you going to be…writing your script tonight?” You looked over at him.

Nothing.

He ignored your question. His pen stopped writing for a moment, but nothing more than that as he continued on seconds later.

You felt like a failure.

When did this all start?

Alastor has been ignoring you for a while now- well- i wouldn’t say ignoring you…no, you’ve been feeling useless around him for a while.

It started after you guys had a fight about safety and how you were scared to lose him.

That was the topic.

It was settled, you forgave each other, Although he didn’t seem to forgive you deep down, you just needed to hear it.

And then he just started acting like this.

You hate comparing your relationship from before to now.

Alastor would stay in his office with the light on until he was done so you would sleep.

You would always conversate with Alastor before laying down for slumber.

Alastor would always know whenever you were upset, he would keep hearing about it until you burst.

“Hey.”

You snapped out your thoughts. You turned to Alastor,

“Yeah?”

“…You okay? You just…” He looked at your cheek and then back to your eye contact, “Have a tear down your cheek.”

“…I don’t know-no, it’s nothing.” You stammered out.

“…okay.” He went back to writing.

…You couldn’t stay here.

Quickly, you got up from your bed and walked over to the bathroom, trying to keep your composure as you closed the door and locked it.

You turned off the light,

Laid in the tub,

and slept.

***

You woke up to knocking.

“Y/N? Are you in there?”

Alastor.

You quickly sat up from the tub, “Coming, coming.” You stood up in a haste, ignoring the dizziness in your vision from it, and quickly opened the door.

“You look like a mess.” He said, furrowing his brows.

“I’m surprised you noticed for once.” You snapped back in a mumble, shuffling past him and over to your wardrobe.

“…Y/N.” Alastor said, making you stop in your tracks. “What has gotten into you, lately? You’ve been acting so strange, and now you just show me no manners whatsoever.” He said, stepping into the bathroom. “I expect better from you.”

…That bitch.

You quickly threw something on, (of your choice),

Took Alastor’s pillow, a picnic blanket,

And went off into the bayou.

It was quiet after a moment of entering, which pleased you.

You couldn’t hear the sink running from Al’s daily routine, nor the bustling sounds of the hotel from outside the door.

Only crickets, water, and leaves rustling.

You knew where you were heading, as well.

Alastor used to take you out to picnics in a certain spot a lot.

Before the fight.

And you haven’t gone since.

***

The walk calmed you down enough to settle down into the spot without recalling memories and seeing at the same time.

You set the blanket down, anchoring it with some rocks so the wind wouldn’t blow it away, and sat down in your usual spot, hugging the pillow to your chest as you closed your eyes, and daydreamed.

You were at a picnic with Alastor.

You were eating his mother’s dishes.

You were gossiping about cannibal town drama.

You were dusting off each other’s clothes after chasing each other in the Bayou.

You remember how much bruises and cuts you got from that ridiculous game.

“Y/N? What has gotten into you?” Alastor said from behind you.

You turned around to look at him.

“What do you mean?”

He scoffed, “First the bathroom and now far into the bayou. You could’ve gotten lost.”

You felt guilty now. Great.

“…Maybe if you just leave me alone, you wouldn’t have to worry so much.” You mumbled into the pillow.

He put his hands on his hips, “Y/N, it’s been 11 hours since you left the room to here i guess, how could i not worry.”

11 hours?

Now you felt the intense hunger in your stomach, the weight of your eyelids begging to close, the stiffness of your back.

“…Probably because you haven’t in a while, I supposed.” You said truthfully.

“…You’re acting like a child Y/N.” He said, walking around the blanket to look at you.

“…Can we talk, Alastor?” You said, clutching the pillow tighter.

“I feel like that would be best, yes we may.” He said, setting his cane down and sitting across from you on the blanket.

“…Why do you hate me?” You said, looking into the small lake next to you.

“…Hate you? I could never, why do you say that?” He said, clearly offended.

You held back a sob, “You…you never have conversation with me anymore and w-whenever i start one you just…blow it off…” You tried to keep your tears in as you finished your sentence.

After a moment of deafening silence with the crickets to keep you company, you looked up.

Alastor was frowning.

“…I-I know that’s just one thing, b-but,” You took a deep, shaky breath, “You…you also never check on me you…used to always freak out whenever i was upset, always harass me until i told you what was wrong- but now w-whenever i don’t t-tell you…i don’t know…you j-just blow it off as well…” You squeezed your eyes shut.

“…Y/N…” Alastor called out to you.

You didn’t answer.

“…Y/N…” You felt something block the breeze next to you.

And then, something rubbing your shoulder.

That’s when the dam burst.

You let out a sob sob into his pillow, feeling the relief of releasing all those tears, those breaths, the lump in your throat disappearing.

You cried even more when you didn’t feel warmth on your shoulder anymore.

Or when the breeze was back to blowing on you.

But only for a moment.

“Y/N, it’s cold,” Alastor draped his coat over you, “…Y/N…?”

You looked up at him.

He looked scared.

“…I’m sorry for crying Alastor…I-I just couldn’t hold it in…”

“-No, no,” he cut you off, “No, hey, I want you to let it out, okay?” He sat in front of you, and held his arms out.

You only looked at him, pathetically.

“…Come here, Y/N.”

Another sob broke out as you quickly crawled into his lap, discarding the pillow stained with your tears.

“…I’m so sorry Y/N…I’m so sorry i let all of this happen. It was never…never meant to be this way.” He said with an ache in his voice.

You only cried more at that.

And he only rubbed more at that.

He rubbed your back as sobs racked through it, he kissed your head as aches raged in it, and he only held you tighter every time he felt like you were going to slip away, recalling the memories he never thought would bring them here.

“…Am i making you uncomfortable, Alastor.”

“…I’m just uncomfortable with myself right now, darling.”

You squeezed him tighter.

“…I’m sure you’re hungry, no?” He sighed, picking up his cane as he stood up with and exhausted you in his arms.

He tapped it once, and both the blanket and pillow were held between your bodies, his jacket back over his body as well.

“Let’s go get some left overs.”

***

As the two of you arrived back to your room, Alastor set you down into the bed, putting the blanket and pillow away, and then walked back over to you.

“I’m going to get you a meal, okay?” He picked up your hand and kissed the palm of it.

“Don’t um…forget to smile.” You said just below a whisper, “…You aren’t smiling.”

He smiled softly.

“I’ll be right back.”

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩

END NOTES: If you cried, HIT THAT LIKE BUTTON! If you didn’t cry, HIT THAT LIKE BUTTON! This fic is just pent up rage from a manga i just read that had no happy ending and my life in general , but that’s okay. I don’t have anything to say. Sorry it’s short xx

-Lynn Lazybones

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩

MASTERLIST LINK

TAGLSIT: @deafsignifcantother (comment to be apart of it ^^)

#alastor x reader #alastor x wife reader #alastor x you #hazbin alastor x reader #alastor x y/n #hazbin hotel x reader #angst #angst with a happy ending #fluff #alastor fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor the radio demon #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel

[harmoonix]

HYPNOSIS

Astrology Observations

I'll be seaside

Sitting on the sand drinking a mai tai

Waking up and soaking up the sunlight

──────────────────────────────

💙 - Neptune in the 1H/9H/12H native is like the Universe's kid, very spiritual, very empathic, very emotional, understanding the space and the outer space nature

💙 - Sun in the 8th/9th/12th house natives literally are a balance between spirituality and empathy, you have to be there at the right moment to feel it

💙 - Libra in your big 3 (Sun, Rising, Moon) can make others charmed by you, also you give a big impression to people when they first meet you

💙 - Scorpio in your big 3 (Sun, Rising, Moon) are intense placements, they love playing with the fire and fire loves "playing" with them

💙 - Venus conjunct/sextile/trine Moon will make you so peaceful/calm. People around you love this energy and you give harmonious vibes

💙 - Ascendant aspecting Uranus (all aspects) are very aware of the things happening around them. Is like they always have the 3rd eye open

💙 - Neptune aspecting your Sun will make you shine so bright that you can get hate for being in this "light", you stand out, but haters gonna hate

💙 - Aries & Capricorn Moons are both so defensive of their loved ones and i admire that so much about them they wanna this energy of "Don't mess with me"

💙 - Neptune aspecting the ascendant has beautiful eyes, there is a saying like "The eyes are the mirror of the soul". people fall in love with your eyes before anything

──────────────────────────────

I'll be seaside

Watching all the seagulls flying so high

Looking at our future looking so bright, so bright

──────────────────────────────

💙 - Pluto aspecting Midheaven have so much power in their lives that other people have the feeling to control them for that. Take care of yourself and your energy

💙 - Uranus in your 3rd house will make your voice to stand out, your voice is very powerful in this placement and I also mean the way you communicate and tell words

💙 - Jupiter in your 6H/10H. Jupiter is blessing the native with a good personalty and good job/also a lot of influence and devotion to the world

💙 - Having a Water Moon is the 1# biggest sign that you should be a spiritual person, because Water Moons are psychic

💙 - Mars in Sagittarius/9H can be very revengeful, you did something bad to them, they'll return the same thing to you

💙 - Mars in Cancer/4H can act the same, but the thing with them is that, they will know your weakness/sensible point

💙 - Capricorn & Libra combo placements in a chart indicate a lot of diplomacy/politeness, very elegant and charismatic too

💙 - Jupiter in your 5H/11H can fullfil your desires on a long term, if you truly want or wish something (good) to happen, try to manifest it

💙 - Lilith in your 6H/8H/10H/12H can act mischievous, you never know what they'll be thinking about or their plans

💙 - Mars square/conjunct/opposite Uranus will act messy when they're annoyed, Mars here is uncontrollable or just wild free

💙 - Scorpio Venus/Mars can meet potential "partners" who can take advantage of them which is not totally okay, make sure people appreciate for everything you have to offer

──────────────────────────────

I be busy, busy, nah

Busy doing nothing all day

Y bailando con toda mi gente, y

Veo que no me dejas de ver

──────────────────────────────

💙 - Saturn/Lilith or Pluto in the 11H can indicate lots of betrayals, can be romantically or friendly or even from family members

💙 - Earth Moons/Earth Sun gives "old soul" and what I mean with that is, they're experienced in life and they seem like they went through a lot

💙 - Mercury aspecting Pluto or Neptune can have people hiding things from them, secrets, dark "plans" and others, even gossip

💙 - Can someone tell me why a fire Venus will always make me think of a hot song you hear during summer that you cannot forget?? Adore them.

💙 - A Chart with fire as predominantly element will act too impulsively/stubborn sometimes even too "wild" at times

💙 - Lilith in Aries/Cancer/Sagittarius/Aquarius wants to break the norms and the things that are always seen as "toxic", they want to break free from everything that pains them

💙 - Lilith (h58) is the most dangerous Lilith in a chart so here are some observations about it

Lilith h58 aspecting Chiron can indicate unsealed traumas/bad experienced from your life

Lilith h58 aspecting Midheaven gives no fuck about nobody, they don't care what the world thinks about them "You have just one life, live it how you want"

Lilith h58 aspecting Venus will act toxic in love if they feel threatened by their partners energy

Lilith h58 aspecting the ascendant is very rebellious, very rude or mean at times, few know this "rude" energy can be just for protecting themselves

Lilith h58 aspecting Mercury will not be afraid to call people out when is needed, they may use a very dirty way of talking

Lilith h58 sitting empty in a chart like a black whole, absorbing energy of all forms,

💙 - Mars in the 7th house/Mars in Libra despite the drama about how Mars is chaotic in Libra, they tend to have romantic relationship and energetic spouses, + they're being so assertive in their relationships

💙 - Neptune/Pluto or Saturn in your 6th house can drain your energy fast, that's why is good to take a break after you did some work so you don't end up exhausted

─────────────────────────────

Mientras la música suene

Aquí pegaditos al mar

No me pienso mover a otro lugar

──────────────────────────────

💙 - Venus aspecting Mars has a bold energy. What's attractive about them is that they can attract all types of people with this energy (from jealous people to really indifferent ones)

💙 - Mars aspecting Moon (in harsh aspects) get angry or frustrated fast, is not like they're about to explode instead they just feel like screaming out in a pillow

💙 - Midheaven aspecting Neptune or Jupiter can work in environments where spirituality can be used a lot, like a spiritual guide

💙 - Having Moon in your 9th house, beside having a good love life, this aspect can indicate a lot of creativity and knowledge. Also a love for exploring the *unknown*

💙 - Jupiter aspecting Lilith h12 (harsh aspects) since Jupiter will expand even in harsh aspects, their sexual energy can just grow and grow until it hits some the point of hypersexuality

💙 - Saturn in the 1st house natives have the chance to reflect on themselves after every fail, always overcome your fears and mistakes

💙 - Lilith in Capricorn/10th house is the native who seeks for recognition and success, these placements also indicate a stubborn person with a traditional ethic

💙 - Mars in Taurus/Mars in the 2nd house has an intense determinations to achieve anything they desire, this placement also indicates staying good with money or financially

💙 - Lilith in Leo/5TH or in Leo Degrees 5°, 17°, 29° have a big pride, this placement can also he know for their perseverance and sharp mind

💙 - Moon/Venus/Rising/Juno in Sagittarius gives "you're always be my ritual" thanks to Sagittarius's ties with the 9th house who can indicate rituals

💙 - Sun in the 7th/Leo in the 7th house/Sun at 5°, 17°, 29° degrees can put their partners on the 1st place in a relationship, but also your partner mirrors you with a strong vitality

💙 - Neptune in the 4H is actually a dark placement if we go in the depth of themes of Neptune because after all, Neptune represents addiction, natives with Neptune in the 4H can go into addictions from a young age or from childhood for example like smoking, alcohol, bad influences

💙 - Neptune aspecting Venus/Neptune in the 7H always day dream about their partners or future partners. Even crushes.

💙 - Sun in the 9th/Jupiter in the 1H natives are very spiritual/religious deep down in their hearts, it can be a very dear topic for them

💙 - Virgo in your big 3 (Sun, Moon or Rising) will make you to be devoted no matter what, your humanitarian nature makes you such a kind person!

💙 - Cancer/Pisces and Leo Mars can skip arguments, they don't like it and don't wanna fight, so most times they choose to just walk away

💙 - Mercury in the 1st/5th/11th houses will gift a person with good humour, if Mercury is in the 8H they can have a dark type of humour, dark jokes too

💙 - Neptune or Pisces rulling your 2H or 3H can give you a very addictive voice, Mercury - Neptune aspects too

💙 - When you have your Saturn Retrograde it feels like having a second parent/father. Like Saturn is tutoring you on your life path

──────────────────────────────

If you're looking for me

I'll be seaside

──────────────────────────────

💙 - Sun or Rising in Taurus Degrees 2°, 14°, 26° can make the native to be more "earthed" more down to earth, more calm

💙 - Lilith h12 in Pisces or in the 12th house can indicate ancestral wounds, which is a highly deep wound related to your ancestors idk why this placement reminds me about Mulan's ancestors fighting in the temple in the animated movie

💙 - Since no one mentions this, having your Jupiter in the 9H or in Sagittarius doesn't always mean you gonna meet your spouse in foreign lands but also in highschool or university, you can be highschool lovers for example or even highschool lovers in foreign lands as a combo of both, also either you or your partner will have a different ethnicity!! Jupiter at 9°. 21° degrees too

──────────────────────────────

I always give my 10/10 everytime there is an avatar thematic 💅🏼💅🏼💅🏼💅🏼, is the highest grossing movie for a reason after all 💅🏼

Hope you all have a good day for those to read my posts 🥰🥰

H a r m o o n i x

#astrology #astro observations #astrology observations #avatar #birth chart #astro notes #placements #astro community #astroseek #astroblog #astronotes #astro.com #astronote #ascendant #horoscope #venus #neytiri #seaside

[pockettwinzz]

My Heaven - S.JY

୨୧ Warnings ୨୧ : Fluff, Angst, Toxic parents, Kissing, SFW, not proofread

୨୧ A/N ୨୧ : wrote this in a haste cause i really wanted to release smth for the weekend so I apologize if it's bad :3. Also enhypen's releasing a new version of dark moon ><

୨୧ Word count ୨୧ : 1.7k

As you sat in your new college classroom, your mind drifted away from the mundane lecture on ancient history. You couldn't help but wonder how the rest of your college experience would turn out. With your perfect 4.0 GPA from high school, you had been accepted into one of the most prestigious universities in the country. However, even though you had been top of your class and had received countless awards and accolades, it seemed that your parents were never truly happy with you. They constantly pressured you to study even harder and to strive for even greater heights.

Meanwhile, Jake, who had coasted through high school with mediocre grades and minimal effort, had been welcomed into this new university with open arms. Everyone seemed to love him, and he was constantly surrounded by a group of friends. You couldn't help but feel a twinge of envy as you watched him laugh and joke with them during the break.

As the semester progressed, you found yourself struggling to keep up with the workload. Your classes were more challenging than you had anticipated, and the constant pressure from your parents only made matters worse. You often found yourself staying up late into the night, hunched over your books, tears streaming down your face as you tried to understand the complex concepts and theories.

Life wasn't going how you wanted it too and seeing others, mostly Jake, sucked up to the professors, get high grades without much effort made you feel even worse. You didn't understand why your parents always thought you were useless. You tried to talk to them about it, to tell them that you were doing your best, but they never listened. They just kept pushing you harder, telling you that you could do better. You started to lose hope, to feel like you were drowning in a sea of academic expectations.

You never knew when it happened, maybe when Jake stole the first position, or maybe when he scored more marks from you on that one chemistry practical, but it was safe to say you hate him. You hated him for being so perfect, for being so loved, for being able to do everything effortlessly while you had to work your ass off to get even a B. You hated him for making your life miserable, for making you feel like you were never good enough, for making you feel like you were nothing but a burden to your parents.

One day, after yet another grueling exam, you decided that you'd had enough. You couldn't take it anymore. You walked up to Jake in the hallway, your hands shaking with anger and frustration. "Why do you get everything so easy?" you demanded, your voice quivering with emotion. "Why does everyone love you and hate me?"

Jake looked taken aback by your outburst, his perfect features twisting into a frown. "What?".

"Why does it always have to be like this?" you cried, your voice cracking. "Why does everyone always love you and hate me? I just want to be normal, just once!" You felt like you were about to burst, like all of the anger and frustration you'd been feeling for so long was building up inside of you, ready to explode. You didn't know why you were telling Jake any of this, but you couldn't help it. You needed someone to understand.

Jake hesitated for a moment, seeming unsure of how to respond. Finally, he took a step closer to you and placed a hand on your shoulder. "Look, I get it," he said softly. "It's hard sometimes, trying to live up to everyone's expectations. But you know what? You're amazing. You're smart, and talented, and you've got so much to offer. You just need to believe in yourself, okay?"

"Shut up" you snapped, shrugging his hand off your shoulder. "You don't understand anything. You've never had to struggle, never had to fight for anything." You turned away from him, anger and hurt burning in your chest. "Stop pretending to be so nice. I hate it, I hate you"

Jake let out a sigh, looking genuinely hurt. "I'm sorry if I've ever done anything to make you feel that way," he said quietly.

You turned back to him, tears streaming down your face. "It's not just you," you sobbed. "It's everyone. I'm just so tired of feeling like I'm never good enough. I'm tired of feeling like a burden." Jake's expression softened, and he reached out to wipe away a tear from your cheek.

"You're not a burden," he said gently. "And you are good enough. You're more than good enough. You just need to remember that." He hesitated for a moment, then took a deep breath. "And you know what? If it means that much to you, I'll help you. I'll help you get through this."

You looked up at him, surprised by his offer. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, if you want me to help you, I will. I'll study with you, or whatever you need. We can work together to get through this," Jake explained, his voice firm but gentle. "Because you're right, it's not fair. You are good enough, and you deserve to be happy. You deserve to have people believe in you."

You felt a strange sensation in your chest, like a warmth spreading through you. You didn't quite understand it, but it was nice. It was nice to feel like someone actually cared. "Really?" you asked, looking up at him. "You'd really help me?"

Jake nodded, his expression sincere. "Yeah, of course I would. We're friends, aren't we? Besides, it's not like I've got everything easy. I've just learned how to deal with it."

As tensions began to ease between you, Jake started to show you a different side of himself. He'd always been considerate and caring, but now those qualities seemed to shine brighter than ever before. He'd listen intently when you spoke, offering thoughtful advice and encouragement. He'd laugh at your jokes, even when they weren't funny, and he'd make an effort to include you in group activities. You began to feel a warmth in your chest whenever he was around.

One day, as you studied together in the library, you noticed Jake looking at you in a way that made your heart skip a beat. His eyes seemed to hold an intensity that you'd never seen before, and it made you feel both nervous and excited at the same time. As you spoke, he'd occasionally glance at you, a soft smile playing at the corners of his lips. It was then that you realized, with a start, that you were in love with him.

Over the next few weeks, your friendship blossomed into something deeper. The way Jake treated you, with respect and admiration, made you feel like the most special person in the world. You found yourself looking forward to spending time with him, just talking or watching a movie. The gentle way he touched your hand when he passed you a pen or the way he'd tease you about your favorite TV shows only served to intensify the feelings you had for him.

One evening, as you studied together in his room, the lights were low and the only sound was the soft rustling of pages. You were so engrossed in your work that you didn't even notice how close Jake was sitting to you. You were acutely aware of his presence, of the way his shoulder brushed against yours every time he reached for a pen or turned a page. The air between you seemed to crackle with an electricity that you couldn't quite explain.

As the night wore on, you found yourself glancing up at him more and more often, studying the lines of his face, the way his hair fell across his forehead, the way his lips moved as he spoke. You felt your heart race every time he looked at you, and you could swear that there was something different in his eyes. Something warm and intense.

You tried to concentrate on your work, but your mind kept wandering, drifting back to the way he'd been acting. You wondered if he felt the same way about you. You wondered what he would do if you confessed your feelings. A part of you was terrified of ruining your friendship, but another part of you longed for something more. Something deep and lasting. Something real.

"J-jake," you stammer, your voice barely audible over the thunder of your heart. "I-I love you." The words hang in the air between you, heavy and palpable, as if they've been weighing on your chest for far too long. You feel your face flush with embarrassment, but at the same time, there's a strange sense of relief in finally getting the words out.

Jake goes still, his eyes widening in surprise. He hesitates for a moment, searching your face, before exhaling softly and leaning in closer. His lips meet yours, tentatively at first, but with a growing intensity that takes your breath away. You can feel the heat of his body pressed against yours, his hands gently cupping your cheeks as he deepens the kiss.

The world around you fades away as you lose yourself in the sensation of being connected to him. His taste, his smell, the feel of his skin against yours—it's all so familiar and yet so new at the same time. You moan into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck, wanting more of him.

Jake responds eagerly, deepening the kiss even further. His tongue dances with yours, teasing and exploring, sending shivers down your spine. You can feel the passion building inside of you, a warmth spreading through your entire body. You never knew you could feel this way about someone, this alive, this desired.

As you break away from the kiss, your eyes meet his, and you see the love reflected there. It's a look of wonder and awe, as if he can't quite believe how lucky he is to be sharing this moment with you. He trails his fingers down your cheek, over your jawline, and to your lips again, this time softly tracing their outline.

"I love you too, Yn," he whispers. "I've loved you for a long time."

Your heart soars at his words, and you feel a newfound sense of joy and security wash over you. You realize that this is what you've always wanted, to be truly loved and cherished by someone as wonderful as Jake. You lean in and kiss him again, this time with more passion and longing, as if you could never get enough of his lips on yours.

༘˚⋆𐙚｡Permanent Taglist ༘˚⋆𐙚｡ @cha-eui @alvojake @heeslut4life @wondipity @dollywons @wonlvkay

{reply or send ask to be added Minors + blogs w/o ages DNI}

#enhypen #pockettwinzz writes #enha x reader #enhypen x y/n #enhypen x female reader #enhypen jake #jake sim #enhypen fluff #sim jaeyun #sim jake x reader #jake x reader #jake x y/n #jake fluff #jake fanfic #jake angst #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen fanfic #dividers by dollywons #moodboards by pockettwinzz #sfw

[danaedanette]

About the political power of Rhys and the IC

When we think about it, being in Rhysand's IC means that they have less political powers than his opponents. Because firstly, the IC always agree with whatever Rhysand is saying, and if they don't, too bad, because he won't listen to them. And secondly, they don't even do anything of importance as a government/political body.

However, if we speak about a Illyrian Lord or Keir (and the CoN's residents he represents), then Rhys must negociate with them and absolutely can't be on their bad side, and so he allows them to abuse their position and their powers on those weakers than them, and to perpetuate harmful traditions.

Rhys is a bad ruler. He can only enforce his authority on people who already agree with him (or, if they don't agree, won't do anything about it). His opponents don't respect him (see the Illyrians who don't respect the clipping ban) and still, Rhys respects them more than his own friends.

(Hello Mor, how do you feel about regularly seeing your abusive father in Velaris' street because Rhys couldn't be respected as a ruler ? Are you feeling respected, powerful and like your place as the Night Court 3rd (4th if we count Feyre) is anything more than a pretty title than Rhys gave you just because ?)

I feel like Rhysand doesn't understand that being a High Lord means you have responsabilities. It doesn't mean that you can micromanage the lives of your close friends/family circle. It means that you have a country to rule. Like, one of the first decisions Rhys made as a High Lord (beside appointing his friends in his government, because that's exactly how a government should be formed) is to give the right to the CoN to rule themselves. NO ! Please for the love of god that's not how you should rule. No wonder they don't respect Rhysand and feel like he is intruding in their business everytime he goes there. Technically speaking, that's exactly what he is doing. Because he gave them the right to rule themselves. Urgh.

And for the Illyrians, does Rhys think that having a ban on wings clipping is going to be enough ? The real work is on changing mentalities. No wonder "change takes time" when you aren't doing anything to initiate the change. Especially when you don't do a thing to punish those who break the law.

I suspect all these people disrespecting and hating Rhysand has nothing to do with him being half-Illyrian, half-High Fae, nor with him being "feminist" or "progressive" ; and all about him being a lazy, arrogant ass who hasn't done a single day of ruling in his whole life.

Edit : I just noticed I called Keir and the Illyrian lords "opponents" rather than "subordinates". It was totally unconscious (? Is it the good word ? Not sure. I mean, it was not a deliberate decision from my part). But it's rather telling isn't it ? Rhys shouldn't have to negociate with them because their his subordinates. For some unfathomable reason, he choses to accommodate them.

#anti acotar #anti rhysand #sjm critical #anti inner circle #anti sjm

[password-door-lock]

Content warning: manipulation

Unknown has never been very big on giving comfort— or so he tells himself as you sob into his jacket. You’re grabbing fistfuls of leather, trying your hardest to pull him close, though of course, it doesn’t really do much— you’re not very strong. It wouldn’t take very much effort at all for Unknown to simply push you away. But he allows you to cling to him. With one hand, he returns your embrace, and with the other, he pets your hair.

Does that really make anything better? Unknown can’t imagine that it would. If he were in your position, he’d want to be alone. In fact, he’d be shoving people out of his way, yelling, screaming, and slamming doors just to get some peace and fucking quiet. He’d destroy the contents of whatever room he’d manage to lock himself in, and only then, only after all of that, only with no other options, would he allow himself to break down crying. He certainly wouldn’t do it in front of anybody else. 

“Shhh,” he hushes you. Unknown assures himself that he’s only doing this because he wants you to shut up, not because he cares about your feelings enough to actively soothe you. Why would he give a shit about your feelings? He only brought you here in the first place because he thought that it would hurt those liars, and your time in the apartment did not instill him with very much confidence in your ability to handle important tasks. 

You respond by nuzzling his chest and, in doing so, staining his jacket with salt. Unlike all those times when you attempted to initiate a text conversation with him, you don't seem to have very much to say. “Quiet. You did fine.” The comfort that he offers is stiff and unnatural, but that doesn’t seem to bother you as you gaze at him. 

If only he had something he could use to wipe your face. You’re such a mess, with snot and tears everywhere— seriously, he’s probably going to have to get a new jacket.  You blink the tears out of your eyes. “You don’t hate me?” 

This isn’t such a bad question. Theoretically speaking, Unknown has every reason to hate you— you did ruin his original plan, after all. You could at least have spoken to the RFA and emailed a couple of potential party guests— that would be enough to bring those people to paradise. Instead, you sat around doing nothing, waiting around  for somebody to tell you what to do. In that sense, Unknown supposes, it’s his own fault for not giving you clear instructions, and besides— it’s touching to think that you’re so torn up about causing a minor setback for him. You barely know him— you’ve been here less than a day— and already you’re loyal enough to shed tears over the idea of inconveniencing Unknown. 

But, then again, he’s been monitoring the RFA messenger, and actually, your disappearance has done a lot to disrupt the typical functioning of the organization. Thanks to you, he’ll be able to sway the RFA to his savior’s side, anyway, though it’ll take a bit longer than he initially planned. “Prince(ss),” he coos, patronizing you. It’s to keep you where he wants you, he assures himself, ignoring all the other reasons he could have to behave this way. He has no reason to care about your feelings, no reason to want to make you more comfortable, especially not if you’ve already bought into the doctrine of the Mint Eye. One little speech was all it took to get you to abandon everything you thought you knew about the RFA— but, then again, that speech was quite a lot longer than any conversation you’ve ever had with any of those liars. “If I hated you, I think you’d know it by now, hm?” 

“You’re not mad?” You try again, eyes shining as you gaze up at him. 

Unknown ruffles your hair. It actually feels good to know that he can make you feel better so easily. “No,” he informs you flatly. He supposes he can’t really blame you for not wanting to talk to the boring and selfish members of the RFA— though he doesn’t say that aloud. He doesn’t owe you his reasoning. Unknown does not owe a thing to anybody, with the notable exception of his savior. 

“Okay.” You continue to cling to him like a lifeline, as though your well being truly does depend on it. He supposes that if you really thought that way, you wouldn’t necessarily be wrong— after all, Unknown is the one who can decide what to do with you. “Thank you for saving me,” you breathe. This is music to his fucking ears.

Unknown continues petting your hair. Within the next few hours, he and his Savior will have a new and better plan. Within the next few days, if everything goes as he expects it to, Unknown will have his revenge. No thanks to you, he supposes, but still— even if you couldn’t handle working as his eyes, you’ll make fantastic bait. “You’re very welcome, prince(ss).” 

#tw: manipulation #I've been writing so much soft Unknown x Assistant MC lately #I feel like I've been neglecting his creepy side lol #So here he is being a little bit nefarious #mystic messenger #mystic messenger drabble #choi saeran #saeran choi #unknown mystic messenger

[love-has-a-way-ofgrowingbackward]

everytime i take a tiny triangle out of the cake i made my brother comes in and cuts off a trapezium, making the cut a single clean line. it would be vaguely funny but like i made the thing and like could he not eat it all without leaving some for me

#rant #i guess #it really fucking annoys me how i have to cut off my share in everything that comes in this house ever #like always stay on alert for your food and stash away your share or its gonna be gone by morning #i dont even know why its making me frustrated enough to cry #its just. nice good food has always been a treat and motivator for me and my brother has a habit of always grabbing my share too #it sounds so silly out of context but like. ive had a lifetime of going through a bad tiring day with nothing to look forward to but #a nap and something i like to eat. and always opening the fridge to an empty container #or worse the box is there but then i get in bed with a book and open the damn thing to find half a spoonful inside. #it would be annoying once or twice but its just. all the fucking time. #i hate this survivalistic shit #its not long before i move out thank god but still #he always did it when i was young and my mom hardly ever said anything #like now if i want i can get myself some treats but when i was younger i didnt have much choice. #i havent had the time to bake in two years and prep plus baking the layer cake took two days. i put so much work in it. #and he ate half of it by the time i came back from fucking peeing. i cant even say anything because he gets fucking angry and aggressive #at the drop of a hat so im. crying in my room about it. look my feelings are not as drownable and consuming now. i generally dont #let things like that affect me too much. but i feel so young again and like the entire world is so unfair. i don't know #writing my feelings out on a tumblr blog is so much better than journalling they should recommend this shit in therapy

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

#not to be depressing in new year's eve but i feel so shit right now... #all year i've been so out of myself not enjoying anything #and what i do manage to enjoy takes up like an hour of my life and then it becomes disappointing #that's how i would describe the past few months... disappointing #everything feels flat #I can't manage to hold on to a good feeling for more than an hour or two #i have absolutely no hope for the future and I don't even care about that anymore #nothing feels worth anything anymore #and what's really solidifying that feeling today of all days #is the fact that every year since before I was born my family celebrates new years eve #a few years ago the celebrations changed since my extended family decided to cut us out a bit but my mom brother and i still celebrate #we get yummy food play fun games and just spend the night together until midnight when we toast and go to bed #well this year it's 10:30 and we're already in bed doing the same things we do every day #being on our phones or watching a movie or whatever on our own #and it's just disappointing again #idk if it's the break of the tradition or the fact that the new year doesn't feel important this time #but i feel so fucking sad and numb and depressed #i hate it #I don't even feel like saying the usual ''hope 2024 is better'' shit #i just don't care and i don't think it's gonna be better... it's gonna be the same old shit and it's gonna be disappointing #nothing matters anymore and i don't think anyone fucking cares #i feel so numb... #i don't even know what the point of this post is... sorry about that #hope y'all's new years eve is better than mine (or new year's day idk your time zones) #angel talks #personal

[no-one-hears-me]

I miss all my old friends and it's sad to think that they probably don't feel the same way

#just thinking about last summer and the people I spent my time with #they're all gone and that's so sad #ik it's normal to lose people to time and life changes but I wish things would have been different #mainly my one friend. we used to be such good friends and I miss it #I wanna try to reconnect but I think I'll get rejected #and it will probably be worse to KNOW someone doesn't miss me than to just think it #idk. it's just sad to me that you can share all those memories with someone and they can move on so quickly #like nothing that happened ever had any value #and it's a shame that people leave a permanent mark on you. I think about them every day and there's so many reminders #I miss current friends too tho #my one really good friend is busy all the time so it's basically impossible to see each other #and the problem is that I never ask anyone to do anything bc I assume they won't want to and I don't wanna get rejected #and when people ask me to do things I usually can't so eventually they stop asking #but I understand that it makes them feel rejected too even if I'm just busy and can't do anything #just so sad. other people move on so easily but I never do #isn't there a taylor swift lyric about that? idk I'm not a swiftie #I just love all my friends past and present and I wanna see them and spend time with them #but there are so many situations that get in the way and it's always on my side #but not my fault. i hate this #Sera

[theophagie-remade]

Extremely cringy that Symptoms get worse when they go ignored

#(--_--) #mytext #like. i'm not comfortable with playing guessing games but i've long made peace with the fact that clearly there's Something going on #now if only that Something would in turn make peace with the fact that we cannot afford therapy that'd be great -~- #it's so annoying... this summer was hell because for the whole time i lived with a perpetual sensation of *things* crawling on my skin #which i'm sure was the result of a bad mix of my entomophobia + having lots of skin exposed + generally worsening mental health #in fact ever since it got colder and i began wearing more covering stuff it has passed but every so often now i get this. terrible sensatio #my chest feels tight. my head gets super on edge as if there were something dangerous or to be scared of. my arms and hands start trembling #and my legs get super weak and it's hard to remain upright or walk or anything. it doesn't last long but it's very intense and i hate it #and then the whole. feeling like i'm not breathing thing is still coming and going. some days it's bad some days not so much #-_- and it suuucks. i do realise that it all points to some anxiety thing obviously but the thing is. idk. #again i personally don't feel comfortable with just naming things myself and what makes me even more reluctant is that these are mostly #recent developments. just things that have and are piling up on top of other things. so. idk. #what messes me up the most i think is the awareness that things that are routine for me aren't ''normal'' for most people #and i just wish it was like that for me too. idk. sometimes i get really... not jealous but bitter? about the fact that i ended up #having to deal with myself. and i hate how certain things are just part of my daily life despite how unhealthy they are #i think that getting used to the suicidal thoughts was the worst. i've never gotten close to trying anything and i don't Want want to #but they're so draining. i don't remember what it's like to go a day without my mind just going there on its own #and i hate the days when i just don't feel anything or nothing Good and all i can do is try to distract myself with any random thing #wack. i think that something i really struggle with... is that i don't know what to blame. on a rational level I Know that there is not #one ultimate answer but at the same time. idk. is my head just like that. is it some mental illness. is it the result of past experiences #and Things. is it my current situation #everything together most likely because people are Complex and there are no easy answers yeah yeah. but still. mmmh #i want a refund. tmi-ing over

[dredshirtroberts]

y'know. i don't often hate the way my brain is and how difficult it makes certain things for me.

i do a little today though.

#i'm probably going to feel this way the rest of the week #got some Stressful Stuff on my plate - none of it is world ending no matter what my brain thinks #but it's stressful and needs to get done #we already took care of One of the big major things just today because i was having a breakdown about it #because peeks threw up on my favorite shirt after having thrown up all over my bed yesterday and i'm like #she does this when there's a lot of change and stress going on and we've just moved and also we're attempting peace negotiations between he #and Solaire and it's. y'know. hampered by the fact that she's poorly socialized and both of them are dumb as rocks #and so she's stressed out because of the myriad of changes happening to her #and i'm stressed out because she's stressed out PLUS all the other bureaucratic nonsense i have in my brain #AND there's external stress in my foundkin (we're workshopping ways i can integrate the Family Label to apply to folks who weren't terrible #to me when i was a child) and it's just like #i had a really good day yesterday #i've been having pretty good days in general and i knew the crash would come and i knew that i'd get stressed about these things to the max #and that's. like. I know the science and paths behind how we got here #but i also hate that i'm here in this mindset with these things and i also cannot do the laundry myself after all #first because stairs are not always conquerable (they are Exceptionally Not For Me as of yesterday to the point where i'm going to have to #limit myself to the bathroom that doesn't have 2 stairs down to it even if it's closer in the moment) #and second because i ABHOR the texture of tide pods but i cannot deny that they are useful and so much easier to use/keep tidy #than a jug of Cleaning Goo is #so like. i'm embarrassed that all my bedding needs washing and i'm embarrassed that my shirt needs washing #and i'm embarrassed that i make dirty clothes in general and i *am* getting over that #it's slow but the fact that physically laundry is not a task i can complete on the wet side of things #(i still really enjoy the process of folding and sorting though i don't get around to it quickly) #but like. this is one of the reasons why i get freaked out about the fact that i create laundry that needs doing #even if it's not actually my fault (i'm trying very hard to remember it's not my fault the cat threw up on my clothes #and them being put away would have meant she probably would have thrown up on something else that needed to be cleaned #like the bed for example - i cannot put my whole bed away so she doesn't throw up on it) #becuase i feel like i'm burdening someone else to do a whole bunch of work for *me* and i can't do anything in return #(as if i haven't been very deliberately trying to keep up with the dishes daily this whole week so i don't feel like i contribute nothing t #the household)

[featherymainffins]

Binge-reading Dungeon Meshi because it's the only thing standing between me and suicide ngl.

#it at least gave me the single molecule of mental energy required to force myself to eat at least one slice of bread #because it's like the physical energy is there sure but mentally I'm like 'noooooo I don't want to eat anything i hate food #all food tastes bad and i hate life and i want to eat nothing at all and furthermore i need to lose weight so i should starve myself' #I'm thinking that it might actually make me last until I either convince the crisis center that I'm for fucking real for real #or until my appointment with the school counselor. which idk when would be because i was supposed to go on the #2nd of April but i guess there might be holidays because he called me when i was atva lecture but i couldn't take it #because i had a lecture and he hasn't called since but I'm assuming #that hell call again and that he wants to let me know that the date is impossible #but I want to like wait and see what he says. and if he goes like 'oh actually im on a long vacay now goodbye forever' #or whatever I'll just go '...slay' and ride my ass to the hospital tomorrow. #show up at the crisis centre looking exactly like the patients with chronic pain who report pain 7 while looking unphased #like 'hello i am an active danger to myself I can't get out of bed most days; i need 16 hours of sleep to function for 4 hours #my meds have stopped working I haven't eaten anything but exactly 2 pancakes and a slice of bread in the past 4 days #and i exhibit a strong refusal to change this marked by thoughts present in people affected by eating disorders. no activity #feels fun anymore and they were marked by a strong sense of anxiety a few days ago but now i just feel nothing at all. #at this point I'm not even refusing to do any of my hobbies because im increasingly afraid of failure and its #consequences while being hunted for sport by anxiety from the opposite end telling me that i need to finish 50 masterpieces #immediately or nobody will ever like me again and they'll all see me for the talentless fraud i am. at this point i just don't care. #i don't do anything because i feel sluggish and my body is heavy and I'm so so tired and I'm tired of being awake and I can't think straight #also i think i might be going into a psychotic episode again.' #they're gonna tell me to get the fuck out of their faces anyway but it's worth a try. #like idk i feel like they might kinda listen because yesterday I guess they wouldn't have but today i have stopped caring about cars #and looking both ways. which is like. not a good sign probably. also yesterday i was still somewhat able to talk to people #even though i was in a very irritated and drained out state but today I'm feeling like if anyone even fucking attempts to talk to me #or if i hear any loud fucking sound at all I'm just gonna punch myself in the head until the pain drowns out all the sound

[celibibratty]

we work so hard we put our hearts and soul on everything that i/we post/do and i hate it cuz it always the BULLSHIT (i Said its bullshit bullshit BULLSHIT) things that gets admired/gets relevant/are serving, that people praise, i work so hard to post content of the things, i work so hard to do something coherent, portray the characters coherent, i study/absorve the things and seems like i never will be somebody/my things will never be considered relevant as those BULLSHIT things, those people that come out nowhere inventing bunch of nonsense/ruining the things are more admired and praised for serving content than me💧💧(me that always was there and always give so much💧), i think the way i/we do the things/our contents are cool/coherent, but it's never them the things that people like💧

#I don't feel comfortable saying what was exactly the reason of the trigger #Just know that i cried in the bathrom for almost 2 minutes and i still with a bad feeling in my chest/heart #Opened up to marina ceased a little the trembling and high anxiety but still #I wish were my/our things that were the things that are remembered i wished i was the one that was considered is serving content💧 #But this feeling cuz at the same time i want to be the one i don't want to give anything to people and don't want to motivate them... #And i know we have that power and i don't want make them feel hyped i want people to get BORED to get NOTHING to a point where they will... #Lose interest and gone FOREVER but infuriates we being right here being the ones that work sooooooooooooo hard and...don't get anything💧 #I certaily sure the major trigger was this ao3/fanfic thing (i fuckin hate it this feeling somedays i feel i cured but i not #(Sigh) i hate this it seems like i ruining the day/the vibe i enjoyed watching this n1mona but when i get triggered it changes everything #Sucks watch a self-accptance movie and then get triggered by ask of someone praising a fucking blog saying how much this person is serving. #Content for the community fandom how much there things are amazing how much they are amazing when for me is all BULLSHIT💢🔥 #I...wished my/our things were the right #But has another part of me (that its the true one) that i don't want them to engage/like cuz it's personal for me it's personal i don't... #Like to share cuz it's personal ITS MINE THING and don't people to TOUCH IT💢🔥 #Sucks watch a self-accptance movie and then get sad cuz you feel you as a person is no one/anything/unrelevant/nobody likes you💧 #But it's not gonna be a movie that will make this thought go away or change that feeling #reflection #I wish someone could understand it too or say something like ;no your contents are good what you serve is nice/cool and maybe even better #I just will be here wishinig💧certaily sure nobody will get it or say anything #I don't like to feel like this cuz when i like this i don't know what to do💧i feel lost nothing heals only thing that last to me is sleep #And pray to the next day i forget about it #I feel a Sadness mixed with a fuckin RAGE/ANGER💢🔥

[camptw1nk]

my roommates flight home has been canceled and i am not doing well

#negative cw #from what I can tell they cant get back tonight #they were supposed to pick up the keys to the new place tomorrow but if they cant then ill have to #which means i have to leave work early and take time off when ive barely been there a month #and i dont even. know who to tell that I'd have to leave early i don't know the protocol #and i don't know if they'd be like. mad about it #and realistically i know this is an emergency and a one time thing but THEY don't know that #and i dont!!!! i don't know how to handle any of this #the house is still barely packed cause we planned to pack when they got home but!!! #im just very. there is nothing i can do and i hate not being able to do anything #and i feel like if i dont pack while they're gone im fucking things up #but also pretty much all of my stuff is packed #but also my roommate was gonna use a work van and work trolley thing and im nervous #cause if they're not back by the day after tomorrow then i have to move without them or the gear #and there is no leeway here we have to be entirely out with the place completely clean by noon thursday #i am panicking but i cant fix anything so im struggling #i am also Very behind on uni and i think this semester is gonna suck and i just might fail so. fun vibes good vibes

[ribbonprincess]

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

"my eyes burn,rafey..." you whine,tugging at his shirt while he sits on the couch,selling drugs you don't even wanna know about.

"I told you to not wear contacts tonight and you still went and did that,so I don't wanna hear anything." Looking down at the bands of cash as he counts them before putting them in his pocket. "but my head really hurts and the music Is loud-" "and what do you want me to do? tell them to lower it down cause the princess over here is sick?"

You hated when he got like this,way too mean after snorting coke all day long. "you're being mean...stop it." Searching through your bag for the tiny container of the contacts you pull it out, carefully wiping your hand with a wet wipe before removing the contacts from your eyes as you sigh in relief,closing the lids before throwing the container back in the bag; this time searching for your glasses.

"rafe,do I look stupid?" You ask,gazing at him with your glasses now sitting on top of your face and a small pout on your lips. "you don't look stupid,but you are for asking such a dumb question- you're the prettiest girl,yeah?" Tugging you closer with an arm wrapped around your shoulders,before pressing a kiss to your head.

"I'll finish selling and then we can leave if you really want to,okay? "okay..." Nodding at his words as you look around the party.

꒦꒷︶°꒷︶°︶₊˚ʚɞ˚₊︶°︶꒦˚︶꒷꒦

A couple of hours later you find yourself in the bathroom of his room,wiping away your makeup off before proceeding with your skincare routine as Rafe stands at the doorway,only a pair of sweatpants on his body.

"feeling better,kid?" He asks,moving over you as he wraps his arms around your waist. "not really,Advil is not working." Turning around after you finish your rituals, you smile a bit. "hi daddy" "hi angel..." Pulling you closer as his chest flush against yours,grabbing your chin as he smirks "too tired tonight?" "a bit...don't feel really like doing anything crazy-"

"you're gonna let me eat it?" Gasping out loud you hide into his chest,giggling quietly. "yeah...fine,but nothing else-"

Making an instant move as he hoists you up in his arms,sitting you on the counter of the bathroom,pressing your lips together hungrily. "fuck,yeah yeah- just let me taste you" Running a hand over your cami top as he squeeze at your left tit,moving his mouth lower as he sucks on the skin of your neck. "you smell so good" "it's the perfume you bought me for valentine's day" Smiling as he pulls down your top,latching his mouth on your nipple as his other hand move slowly on your shorts,pressing on your clothed clit. "no panties right? you know I don't like those on when we're at home"

Shaking your head with a yelp,you grab his hair pulling a bit "rafe-" "I know I know...I got you darling" Pulling down your shorts he smiles,sitting on his knees on the cold floor of the bathroom as he grabs at your ass cheeks,bringing you closer to his face. "Bon appétit" He mumbles before diving in.

Pressing his mouth on you as he basically makes out with your heat, sneaking a finger into your needy hole as his mouth sucks on your clit. "fuck- rafe.." "yeah,I know I know baby,I got you." Adding a second finger as his tongue licks everything he possibly can,savoring your juices as he loudly slurps making you almost embarrassed if it wasn't for the fact he was giving you the best head ever. "you're gonna cum for me baby and you're gonna do it loud and hard" Nodding as you grind your heat on him,his nose bumping deliciously on your clit making you moan out loud,pulling at his scalp "daddy- fuck, right there"

Keeping his rhythm steady his fingers curls into your spongy spot, making your head tilt backwards as your hand blindly searches for your glasses "rayray...my glasses,wanna see you.." Looking up at you,he uses his free hand to take your glasses from the counter,not stopping any motion as he puts them on your face. "thank you" Fixing them a bit, you look back down at him as his hand moves back down your throat,squeezing a bit before stopping back on your boob,pinching at your nipple.

With the final stimulation you scream "m cumming,fuck fuck!" Pushing his face more into you,you cum loudly closing your eyes in pure bliss as he slows the movement of his fingers, pressing a final kiss to your clit before coming back up. Wiping the juice off his face with a hand before sticking the same fingers into your mouth,making you gag as you lick them clean. "how's that sweetie? your headache gone?" "what headache?"

#outer banks #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #outer banks x reader #rafe cameron thoughts #rafe cameron smut #outer banks smut #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron blurb #🎀princess

[luvrxbunny]

little spider

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x F!Reader

Prompt: Innocence

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, reader knows nothing about sex or feelings of arousal, clothed clit-rubbing? cum in pants, small feelings of embarrassment (lmk if I forgot anything)

WC: 3.3k

A/N: sorry im late but im kinda proud of this one so i hope it was worth the wait! <3

Miguel didn’t think he’d end up in this position, nowhere in his wildest, most perverted fantasies did he think that this would actually be the outcome of him recruiting you but… here we are. 

You were assigned by the higher-ups to learn from him, they thought you had potential, and honestly? Miguel hated you when he met you, he felt like they were punishing him for something, that assigning him this raw recruit was just a flaunt of power. You didn't even have a suit he had to make you one, a trial suit first, to make sure all your vitals were good, to track your movements and decide what suit material would be best- or if you would have a digital one like him. 

During the weeks of his monitoring of your vitals, he began to grow a bit fond of you. You were an adorable recruit and eager to please, you were thoughtful and always gave your all, something he really appreciates. One other thing he noticed about you… your dopamine levels were elevated around him, along with your estradiol and testosterone. He ignores it when he’s writing his reports, he tells himself that he doesn’t report it because the higher-ups don't need to know, not because he knows they’d make you transfer… He should’ve requested it the first time he noticed it but the thought of you, his sweet, innocent spider, all turned on just from being around him? It ignited something in him. 

He updated your suit, saying that the data he was receiving wasn't enough, he made you wear the suit as he replaced the chip and tried to hide the smile in his voice when your spine straightened under his touch. The new chip could give him real-time tracking of all your vitals, but he set his watch to alert him anytime certain hormones spiked… estradiol and testosterone. So he conducted a little experiment over the following weeks, he’d lean into you more when you speak, holding your eye contact, he even broke out the smirk he used to use on girls when he was younger, and it worked on you. 

His watch vibrated every time he was near you, if he walked up to you, it started being an alert to when you were near, it’d go off before you’ve even approached him, he’d walk into a room and it’d go off before he even saw you. It started to have an effect on him, he started to feel a spark in his stomach every time it went off, every time he’d meet your eyes and you’d have that expression he’d grown to know so well. That weak, almost pleading- yet confused look in your eyes and the sheer panic before tearing them away from his. He started having to grip whatever was in his hands as tightly as he could to control himself when you’re breathing would stutter after he complimented you on your work. 

He started getting hard reviewing your logs after spending the day with you, watching your heart rate stay elevated, spiking along with your hormones, he can see your breathing pattern, and how irregular it is compared to when you’re not with him. How high your body temperature was… the main areas of heat. On his more weak days, he’s gotten himself off to the diagram of you, with the burning red spot between your legs as the focus of his fantasies. 

Now you’re here, avoiding his gaze as his watch vibrates like crazy. “Miguel?” He looks at you again, trying to keep his gaze neutral, hopefully, to make this a bit easier on you… and him. “Yes?” 

His voice is smooth as cocoa butter and you can feel his gaze burning into you. He started this heat inside you, one you’d never encountered before. It starts when you see him in the morning and doesn’t stop until you struggle to sleep- or at least it used to. But recently it’s been non-stop, a constant distraction that you can’t pinpoint, it feels like it’s in your hips, stomach, chest, and thighs all at once. It feels like it’s in his breath when it fans over your face, it's in his eyes when they lock with yours, and somehow on his fingertips when they brush over any part of you. You’ve spent hours a night trying to figure out what you can do about it, you’ve thought about even asking Lyla but decided the risk of her telling Miguel was far too great.  

This past week it’s just been building on it’s self, almost unbearable with Miguel’s new immersive training. He takes you away to some deserted, closed-off place and trains you with no distractions, giving you nothing to focus on other than him and forcing him to give all his attention to you. Miguel’s attention, his gaze is what causes the most… pain. That’s what it’s become, a dull, numb, thrumming at the base of your stomach, like an itch you can’t scratch that just becomes a nuisance. You couldn’t handle it anymore and if you asked Lyla she’d just tell Miguel- so why not just ask him directly? 

So here you are, avoiding his gaze because you’ve spent the entire day with him, building enough fire inside you- you don’t need to add any more. “I think…” You take a breath and turn to him a bit before forcing the words out. “There’s something wrong with me.” He puts his clipboard down, his concern, and his thick, veiny hand that comes into view piles onto the heat over-taking your bloodstream. He takes his glasses off and sits back in his chair, reaching his leg out to pull a chair beside you closer to him. You dare a glance at him and try not to collapse at his gaze, at the way his hair moves over his face for a moment as he motions for you to sit in the provided chair.

You sigh and sit down, your legs pressed tightly together, your palms resting on your thighs and your eyes focused on the back of your hands. You stay silent, your mind racing, your body warming further at the feeling of his eyes on you. “What’s wrong, little spider?” You suppress a shiver at the nickname as goosebumps rise over your skin, it’s been a problem since he picked it. “I’m hot.” The words shoot out of your mouth before you can second-guess them again. Miguel chuckles a bit, sending embarrassment through your body, sits back in his chair, and crosses his arms, prompting you to go on. 

“I can’t fix it. There’s… someone.” Miguel pretends he doesn’t notice the way your eyes flicker to him. “For some reason, something about them just- “ You pause for a moment, truly baffled by the way you feel, trying to find some way to explain it. “They just do something to me and it won’t stop.” Your words start to sound frantic, a bit panicked. Miguel leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees to examine your expression. “It’s like there's a low- like a low vibration- or a frequency? Like the ones that are so low you can barely hear but you can sorta feel them? It’s like that but- but deep inside me.”

Your eyes close and eyebrows furrow as you describe the feeling to him. He tries to keep his breathing even as he hardens uncontrollably under the suit. You don’t even realize what you’re confessing to him. “Like it’s in my bones, Miguel.” You add emphasis, your hands digging into the material of your suit before raising your head to meet his eyes, hoping he understands the state you’re in. He’s almost dizzy at the way his blood rushes to his cock. He holds your gaze and tries to convey a baffled, thoughtful expression as he tries to calm himself. 

“That’s- That’s odd. Yeah, um.” He takes a few deep breaths before sitting back again, unable to stay in your space any longer. “Do- Can you tell me who’s causing it? Perhaps it’s a side effect of their powers?” Your spine straightens and you shake your head at him gently. You twist your fingers in the fabric of your suit and your feet play with each other on the lab floor. “H-have you heard of any powers like that?” You ask him, a hopeful look in your eyes. 

Clever girl.

“No, I haven't.” He sits back, spreads his legs, and runs his hands down his thighs and back with a sigh. He holds back a smirk when his watch vibrates and he hears you take a sharp breath. “I- I don’t know what to do anymore. It- I can barely sleep.” You sound distraught, broken, and tired. He’d be the messed up one if he didn't help you… Right?

“I mean… I can try running some tests?” He offers, he keeps his tone light, trying to keep his dark desires off your radar. You perk up at his offer, already up and out of your seat, standing in front of him with a smile. He keeps his eyes on you, trying to ignore the way your scent is assaulting his nose, giving away how badly you need him. “You think we could?”

He nods and stands up, walking over to his lab table and clearing a few things. His head is already running wild with fantasies, ideas of what he could do to you, what he could teach you, how good he could make you feel. “Yeah, of course. C’mere, pequeña araña” You were already walking to him but your pace stutters and his watch vibrates when the nickname slips out. He truly didn’t mean to, he had gotten a bit too deep in his fantasies, and when your voice broke through he didn’t get fully pulled out. He’s never called you that in Spanish, not to your face at least, it’s fallen from his lips a few times before though, when he’s alone with his hand wrapped around his cock. But your reaction dissuades any fear that had shot through him before and he can’t help the smirk that makes its way on his face. 

You’re standing silently beside him, wringing your hands together and he doesn’t think you even notice the way your thighs keep clenching together. “Get on the table.” His tone is teasing, a grin on his face as you jump and scramble onto the tabletop. You lay on your back and look over at Miguel, feeling that heat rage through you at the look on his face. It’s dark and- wanting. It’s confusing. 

He takes a deep breath and your fingers try to dig into the metal table top as he walks to you. “Okay. I’m going to examine your body a bit, press into some muscles, some pressure points to see if maybe it’s a physical trigger. Is that okay with you?” Your chest is already rising and falling more rapidly at the thought, the promise of Miguel’s hands on you. You nod at him stiffly, trying to stay normal and calm as he holds your eye contact, nodding along with you. A small smile graces his face before he walks around and presses his palm into your hairline, pushing your head down to rest on the table as he stands north of you. 

His hands press into your shoulders and your eyes shut tight. He can feel all your muscles tense and his watch vibrates, he sneaks a peak at his and sees the huge spike in almost all your vitals. His cock twitches in his suit at your obvious need but he brushes it aside, if he rushes into this he might scare you off and he doesn’t know what he’ll do if that happens. He may lose his mind. He moves his hands to your biceps, massaging them tightly as little whines slip into your breaths, only audible to his ears. 

He walks back to the side of the tables and your eyes stay shut. He massages the softness of your sides and his breathing kicks up a bit once he gets to your hips. He takes his time with them, admiring the way you fit into his hands and how you subconsciously tilt them toward him. His thighs jump as his cock begins to leak, dripping precum down them. He takes a deep, shaky breath and forces himself to move on. He forced himself to move on, he was trying to take it slow, hopefully, you’d realize where you need him and ask for it. But your thighs spread open when he massages the outside and his hands dive for the inner before he can think it through. 

You gasp, you sit up with your eyes wide and your hands gripping his wrists. You don’t do anything though, he expects you to pull his hands away but it feels more like you’re holding him there, stopping- or attempting to stop him from pulling away. So of course he doesn't. He stares into your eyes as you search his, trying to figure out if he realizes the way that made you feel, if your cover was blown, if he wants to stop but he looks expectant, like he’s waiting for something. So you loosen your grip. “That’s- I think that’s- ” You’re nodding at him lightly, hoping he understands what you’re trying to say because for some reason your brain has stopped working. 

“Yeah?” Your heart stutters at his tone and the tilt of his head as he says it. Your thighs tense around his hand for a moment before you try to calm down, un-tense them but they can’t help the way they tremble with anticipation. You’re nodding at him more frantically and his eyelids flutter. “Okay.” He takes one hand out from between your thighs and rests it on your lower back as his other hand keeps massaging, slowly moving up your inner thigh and the sensations grow more intense the higher he gets. 

Your eyes shut and your hands grip his wrists again, not pulling away, just holding him. Your eyes shut and your hips tilt into his hand, getting him so close to your pussy that he can feel the heat radiating off of her. You feel some sort of shame twinge in your belly, dampening the more intense feelings that Miguel was causing. What if this was wrong? What if you aren’t supposed to feel like this with him, without him knowing… Maybe you should stop. 

Miguel moves further up and all those thoughts scatter from your head immediately. His watch vibrates again and a noise shoots out of your mouth- one you’ve never heard before as your body folds over and your head rests on his shoulder. You shut your eyes tight and take a slow, deep breath. “Sorry. Sorry, I-” He cuts you off. “It’s okay. That’s why I’m here, right?” He’s nodding at you, comforting and reassuring as his hand leaves your back to cradle your head. “You’re okay. I wanna help you, cariño.” Another noise leaves you at the nickname and his hand grips into your hair for a moment before sliding down to your neck and pulls your head away from his shoulder. He pushes your head against his for a moment, letting out a soft groan before letting go and pushing his fingers against your plush lips. 

“How’s that, honey?” His hand settles back on your lower back as you whine and your hands move up his arm, gripping his biceps now and pulling yourself closer to him. “Miguel.” His eyes roll back at how you sound, desperate, breathless, and gone. Your hips are grinding into his fingers and they aren’t even on your clit yet. They’re pressing against your hole through your lips and your suit, he’s keeping his fingertips flat against you so he doesn’t slip inside. 

He’s trying to ignore the mess he’s making in his pants, watching your tense face change into a relieved one, your eyebrows pulling inward as your lips part beautifully, releasing a shaky moan as he reangles his fingers to your clit. His hands are shaking as he tries to calm himself down, one of your hands slides up his arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake before gripping onto his shoulder and pulling him down, closer to your face. His eyes are fixed on your expression, taking everything in, every twitch and quiver, the way your tongue darts out to lick your lips before a whimper punches out of you. 

You’re ruining him and you’re none the wiser. Your hand slides up to his neck and you push your forehead against his, like he did earlier. His eyes roll back before he forces them to you again, moving his fingers over you clit faster when your thighs begin to shake around his wrist. “I think-” Your voice comes out as a whimper and he groans into you. Your fingers grip into his hair and his cock cries against him. “Something… Miguel.” 

The way you say his name fucks with him. It’s prettier than he ever could’ve imagined, he has to lean forward and press his throbbing cock against the edge of the table for relief. You’ve got him feeling like he could die, like he could implode if he doesn’t have you, if after this you realize what you need but get it somewhere else? It’ll be over for him. Your hand readjusts its grip in his hair, becoming more frantic as your spine straightens and your thighs close on his hands. “Miguel? I-” You cut yourself off with a moan and your head falls to his shoulder again, blocking your face from his view.

“No, no.” He brings his hand to the back of your neck again. “Let me see, amor.” He pulls you away from his shoulder and you moan at the nickname. Once again, it didn’t mean to slip out but you’ve got his head so cloudy he can’t help it. You’re moaning his name on repeat, like a warning and he’s pulsing at the thought, the promise of getting to see you cum, for him. His eyes can’t look away from you, he can’t see anything but your face, the way your brows furrow as you tense, and your nails dig into his arms, leaving reminders for later. He watches how you bite your lip before your jaw drops into an ‘O’ shape and his name falls from your lips one more time as a debauched cry. 

He keeps his eyes open, watching you cum for him, how your lips form around his name again and again. He wants to collapse, fall to his knees with how much you’re turning him on but he needs to watch you. He forces himself to keep his eyes on you, ignoring the way they want to roll back at how he’s flooding his pants. His hips twitch against the edge of the table as he cums for you, with you. His mind zeros into the way he can feel your clit pulsing underneath his finger tips, how breathless you sound, trying to keep up with the noises he’s forcing from you. His stomach tenses painfully as his cock unloads more cum onto himself. You sound like an angel, crying out for him. He can’t help the way he dives for you, pulling you in to kiss him and swallowing every moan you’ll give him. 

You whine into his mouth as his fingers slow down over your clit, your other hand meets the first in his hair and you keep his lips on yours. He keeps kissing you until you calm down and your breathing evens out. His hand comes from between your thighs and rubs your legs until you pull back from his lips. You have a bashful, embarrassed look on your face and it brings the largest smile that you’ve ever seen to his face. “Was that okay, pequeña araña?” You whine and pull him in for a hug, nodding into his shoulder as he chuckles and wraps his arms around you as you begin to giggle against him.      

Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed, here's the rest of my Kinktober Works and be sure to check out my Main Masterlist!!

#miguel ohara x reader #miguel smut #miguel spiderman #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara smut #atsv miguel #miguel spiderverse #miguel x reader #spiderman 2099 #miguel ohara #miggy o’hara #miguel o'hara imagine #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara smut #miguel o'hara spider man #spiderman 2099 x reader #spiderman 2099 miguel o'hara #2099 #sm 2099 #miguel 2099 #marvel 2099 #miguel o hara #astv miguel #miguel atsv #miguel x you #atsv #kinktober 2023 #kinktober #kinktober smut