#and Things. is it my current situation

[sameboot]

Simon petrikov coping FAIL compilation

#HNNNGGGNNN!! SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT EPISODE 2…… #my art #adventure time #fionna and cake #simon petrikov #Fionna and cake spoilers #<- kind of??? maybe not really #I’m so glad ep 2 gave us some insight to that scene in obsidian #it’s such a shift from Simon saying he’d literally rather DIE than be the ice king again #BUT IT MAKES SENSE! #nostalgia can twist your perception of the past #and then mix that in with a metric ton of trauma ! #‘things were simpler back then’ #SIMON 99.5% OF YOUR LIFE AS ICE KING WAS AWFUL…. #I mean in the later seasons he does gradually gain acceptance and fit in with the others #but that just makes the CURRENT simons situation so much sadder it’s like he’s back at square 1 in some ways #WILL THE ISOLATION EVER END? #OK IM DONE RANTING IN THE TAGS

[deafening-radio-silence]

I think that Dr. Christina "I was an excellent soldier" Raynor needs to deal with some personal things before she's anyone's therapist, because she strong-armed more of Bucky's autonomy away from him than Zemo did within the series.

#yeah man make amends for the shit that happened when you didn't even have control over your own thoughts #so she was giving him a way to “fix things” but that wasn't on him to do so #all she did was doubly reinforce what he already thinks - which is a justified but false and guilt-laden perception - about the situation #idk much about therapy but i don't think that they're sposed to do that. correct me if i'm wrong and then i'll go fight all therapists #bucky barnes #tfaws #alpine #my art #thank you for putting up with my drawings of a comic book character and his asshole cat lol #i had to put my dog down recently in a bad way and i can't rightfully get another house dog with my current work schedule #so i got a cat since they can handle being inside for the day and the shelter lady said she's super antisocial towards other cats #she's super antisocial towards me sometimes too but she sleeps on me at night and my house has never been cleaner #now that i have to vacuum cat fur and mind what i leave lying on the counter #i've never liked cats before but she's special i guess idk ain't everyone's cat special lol #anyway i'll stop using my tumblr blog as a blog now lol

[deoidesign]

Just some thoughts about recent WEBTOON discourse from an originals creator. I recognize my inherent bias in this situation.

But please recognize that saying "fuck you" to a company means supporting the workers, not making them out to be unfortunate suckers... "would have/could have/should have's" don't get people out of situations.

"I never would have signed with them" is an incredibly tone-deaf thing to say. "this is why you shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket" is true, but it doesn't help people who are contractually obligated into exclusivity.

Most of us are making merch, running patreons, trying to get book deals, etc... and most of us aren't able to stop working and still pay our bills. we're trying. we'd all love to, but we can't.

If you really want things to be better, maybe try not putting down the people who are in the bad situation? it ends up feeling like people using our pain and mistreatment as an outlet to advertise themselves...

Our company is getting worse and worse by the year and we're risking a lot to talk about it! Please listen! The only power we have is complaining about things, and it's risky every time!

#I support people making their own sites #I HAVE my own site #I have a patreon #I sell books #I sell merch #I'm trying to market myself #and I've never made more than $400 in a month on my own on my comics #I cant drive and I cant work most jobs #I needed to leave an emotionally abusive situation #my company is getting worse and worse in ways that were completely unforseeable when I signed #which was YEARS ago #The current situation was NOTHING like it was then #so maybe dont act like you had future sight #its so rude #its so condescending... #this is my JOB #and we're risking a LOT to tell you about these things

[emberglowfox]

closing time

#you know situation's dire when sparks breaks out the color block sona vent art LOOOOOOOL #sparks speaks #vent #again to all my new-ish followers i do post stuff like this from time 2 time PLEASE block one of those tags if you don't want to see it #long post #edit: fine to rb idgas #ummm NEway. i go back to college in like a month and the thought of it makes me want to curl up and die. idk if i can do it again tbh lol #i dont know how i survived the first time #<- LYING he does. and it was by letting the dissociation he is currently bitching about swallow him completely #if i really committed and tried i could probably claw my way out of this. but there's really no point when i'll just fall back into it soon #the forgetting my entire life does suck though. it does suck. #its really cool learning you've lost the only thing you thought you couldn't lose. #anyways. i'm fine im chillin i just. needed to get this out #if youre reading this preciate you. drink water

[songsintheattic]

i think society as a whole would be a million times normaler if we just never said the phrase "mental health" ever again. 99.99% of the time people actually mean "feelings", which are normal and non-pathogical and should be treated as such. even bad feelings are still normal.

#m #also grouping very tangible things like reactions to situations etc into an abstract like 'mental health' makes them feel distant #and beyond your control #and also makes people less able to understand things directly #like instead of realizing they're overwhelmed with their current workload and feeling undervalued by friends or whatever #they just say 'my mental health is bad right now' #no it's not? feeling bad in a bad situation is the healthiest thing you can do actually

[loppiopio]

just some 🥥 related sillies i've made for that fic we all know.

#durarara #izaya orihara #shizuo heiwajima #shizaya #a cheap imitation #i made a thing #i've been holding off on posting these here for so long whoops #i'm so shy... check out my lemonade guys #i've been very motivated to make various things for this fic as a result of this book club i've been hosting for my friends #i actually made the first image (not the video) like two years ago? #back around when i first read the fic and started being annoying about it to my friends #never posted it though because the shizuo i drew was ugly!!! #and the shizuo i drew for the second image this time around is still ugly!! unfortunately :( #well anyways if it isn't clear the images are both for chapter 19 while the video is for chapters 28 to 29 and a little bit of 30 lol #also i know izaya's actual problem isn't fucking shizuo but kissing him lol but it was funnier to keep it like this #you can check out more of this deranged behaviour over at my twitter of the same name #i know not everyone wants to go there though especially with the current situation... #so i'll try to bring over the more memorable stuff to post in batches over here which i think is the stuff i did any art for #since i've made a lot of multimedia type things dedicated to particular chapters as “marketing” for my friends #but i'm not sure they'll make much sense out of context so #my plan is to compile all of everything i've made for the fic during the book club into a powerpoint that i'll try to keep for posterity #because ngl i feel i went kinda hard with certain things that maybe only two people will appreciate #but i'll do it for those two people out there #also it's a whole book club for aci!! #*i'd* want to see what some random people have been up to with a book club for this fic #be the change you want to see in the world #side note i wonder if having so many fucking tags on your own post is a bad look... #idk it's so much clutter but i have too many things to say!! #i look back at my own previous tags and i physically can't bring myself to read them ahhhh #i hope anyone's enjoying them anyways

[shadowslocked]

“The QSMP doing events and lore feels off given the admin situation especially since we haven’t had an update” and “we likely will not receive updates on what is being worked on behind the scenes and if we do it likely won’t be in depth, we’ll have to wait and see what happens” are two things that can co-exist

#qsmp #qsmp neg #qsmp situation #can’t say I’m personally a fan either #but Quackity did say roleplayers were on hold till things were sorted #I’d rather believe they figured it out with the NPC/admins we’re currently seeing #and that’s why they’re on the server #but we also want really know unless someone with QSMP comes forward #as much as I’d like to know things are going well #Quackity already said he’d put in work to make sure people are paid #a stream repeating that isn’t going to help #and I can’t see him giving more details than that because at a certain point it isn’t our business #if something is going wrong we’ll have to wait till somebody comes forward about it #or in my case wait till somebody posts a link from Twitter

[tesnuzzik]

(Unseelie) Faerie Court Twisted Fate skin concept

My take on what the Unseelie court might look like. I hope we’ll get some dark/goth faeries too and it’s not gonna end up looking too similar to the Seelies :)

#I don't want the eyes to be a winter court only thing #I was going for Autumn court with this but I don't know if this gives autumn vibes #I now see TF as a representation of the beginning of winter #also the shortest day of the year #Bc he's a bit more night themed I guess #He's an outcast anyway so it's fine if he doesn't look like any of the courts #I'm currently deciding if he got banished or if he fled bc he knows some secrets about the queens that could cost him his life #I like that second option bc it's different from his base lore while still resulting in a similar situation #Just wish the skinline bio lore wasn't so vague about that secret surrounding Karma LMAO #Twisted Fate #TF #tobias felix #skin concept #League of Legends #Faerie Court #fairy #faerie #wings #LoL #my art #OH TO LIVE IN A REALITY WHERE HES IN THIS SKINLINE LMAO RIOT PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU ITS THE ONE THING I ASK #That is #IF you finally decide to put some fucking effort into TF skins #Either that or give me Stargazer

[meadowsofmay]

vax trusting gilmore even after the initial scare from the rakshasa — that tried to kill him disguised as gilmore — and allowing to be pushed off the cliff only for the wings on the vestige to work-

and then him hugging gilmore tightly while those same wings envelop them both-

is such a beautiful image that matt painted for liam and i am honestly on the verge of crying. they are special. vax and gilmore are special.

#them caring for each other #loving so tenderly #to the point of letting go to the point of trusting with their life #to the point of learning how to stay close even with respect to their current relationship situation #is so special and i am so glad matt and liam went for such a beautiful portrayal of such a complicated yet simple thing called love #and there's just something so heart-wrenchingly intimate and tender about this wing hug #my heart #may c1 watch through #ep 58 #vaxmore #vax'ildan #shaun gilmore #vax #gilmore #vox machina #critical role

[mo-ok]

dream sentai team, I have dubbed them

Super Sentaisuke

#super sentai #liveman #kakuranger #carranger #hurricaneger #go onger #the theme is birds/cars/ninjas (my three favourite things for rangers to be) #the 6th ranger is sun vulcan ryuusuke #but he could only be there for 5 minutes (he had better things to do) #theres.... theres about two braincells in this team and who currently has them depends entirely on the situation at hand #yusuke is 'in charge' but like.... barely #i have so many ideas for how these idiots would interact/get along #get ready for my trademark crossover content no one is asking for! #also - thinking about the power rangers version of this team is actively killing me #super sentaisuke #2023 art tag #side note FUCK the carranger suits i am NEVER drawing that damn helmet ever again

[misticfog]

I was watching let's plays and reaching conclusions

#slay the princess #revolutionary girl utena #rgu #the owl house #toh #currently obsessed with this game #can't verbalise thoughts properly #i forgot how to spell exist #autocorrect saving my life rn #it's midnight and i didn't sleep last night sorry #i saw 'ch III the thorn' and was like lmao like in the owl house and then it really went that way #dunno if i love or hate when i can tell where things are going bc i saw similar shit somewhere else #toh gets officially forgiven for the 'masked man 2.0' #and then i connect the dots that they're in this situation for stabbing each other #like literally #and multidimensionally #doomed by narrative written by a force trying to destroy them and the functionality of the world #there's more and it's deeper i'm too sleep deprived #prise the autocorrect for making me sound coherent #i Hope #mist was here

[feverflushed]

A has a nasty chest cold that completely shot their voice.

They're all rattling breaths and loud wheezing coughs that can be heard throughout the house.

After a particularly nasty fit that left A exhausted, B pats their head, concerned. "For someone who can't even whisper, you sure are noisy".

#colds #sicknario #coughs #inspired by my crush who's currently in this situation and ngl hearing him did things to me #he's alright just very very hoarse #and very very cute 🥺 how I wish this wasn't a ldr

[peninkwrites]

(putting my very long, very personal ramble under a readmore so folks can avoid it) (this won't include any of my plans for going forward or for my writing but I'm not going anywhere so don't worry about that. love to you all.)

A little disclaimer: If you have zero context for what I'm talking about, apologies for not explaining in depth, but this post won't be relevant to you otherwise. All you really need to know is that it seems that Wilbur Soot is an abuser, and Shubble came forward and talked about it recently. He was not named, but from what she shared, I believe that was who she was talking about. I don't say this to speculate, and if you disagree, I'm not here to argue over it, but it's enough for me personally to not to want to support him indefinitely, save for Shubble explicitly saying she wasn't talking about him.

Additionally, these thoughts are some incredibly personal and self-centered rambling. It does not reflect where my priorities lie, with supporting Shelby for coming forward above all else, but other people have said that much better than I have, and this post is really just a place for me to vent some of my feelings.

I prided myself on not falling prey to “parasocial relationships.” I didn’t get invested in the personal lives of content creators, only in their creative works. I thought this protected me somehow. I knew next to nothing about Wilbur Soot’s personal life, but I admired him deeply as a writer and empathized with him as an artist. I projected so heavily onto his character and did so for over three years. When I waited for his final dsmp stream, I felt panicked. Like my survival hinged on how he ended this story, and then he ended it in a way I could live with, and I thought I could go on loving this story and these characters for what they had been, no matter how messy the rest of the endings to follow were. His character was mine in so many ways. He had some of my problems and I gave him some of my own. I used him to process quite a bit. And now that part of myself is irrevocably tainted.

When the stuff came out about Dream, I was upset, but not betrayed. I never followed the creator and he existed only as a character to me. All I grieved then was the community his actions destroyed and most importantly the people he hurt. I planned to continue writing for the DSMP, even as I refused to follow any content involving him. It felt like a pause, not a full stop, while I ensured what I was doing did not show him any support. I also gave that character no pity and therefore the man behind him no pity, I had no personal investment in his character.

Now my response is visceral and bitter and I don’t know how to go on writing, because this character meant the world to me. I don’t know how to write about a character I truly love and see myself in, knowing the person who also loved and saw himself in that character, who created that character, has done horrible things. I don’t know how to write any of these other characters I have loved and cared for for over 3 years because he has poisoned them. All of it turns my stomach now and I feel so betrayed. The thought of his character is tainted because it’s connected to his voice and his face. I cannot separate the art from the artist both because it was the inclusion of the authorship within the story which affected me so strongly, and because there are things within the text that I look back on now and can only see that this person was always this way. I couldn’t sleep last night. I kept thinking of c!Wilbur’s line when he found out about exile, “he didn’t actually hit you though“ and his horror when c!Tommy responded that he had, that for some reason that was the turning point. The implication that it was only crossing that line, that particular type of violence, which made something wrong. Fucking disgusting.

I’ve tried to find another story before now. For the last few years, honestly, I’ve looked for something to latch onto the way I have with this one, but nothing feels the way this did. I know I’ve been clinging to something gone or at least mostly gone, both the community and the story, but I haven’t known how to let go when nothing makes me feel the same way, even when the feeling has faded and changed so much with time. This was never supposed to go on this long. Honestly, the reason I started posting mcyt stuff to my sideblog instead of my main was because I assumed I would get over it in a few weeks, delete the posts, and move on. Three years. 40 works. Over a million words. Just. Fuck.

I loved these characters so much and I’ve wrapped up my writing in them for so long it’s hard to separate the two. At this point, it feels like these characters are what allow me to write, separate from the main story, but a place where I could work things out for myself as a person and try new things as a writer. And I’ve tried so hard to feel the same way about the QSMP, but maybe it’s because we’re out of lockdown so I don't have time to watch much, or I’ve just changed more than I’ve thought, but I haven't gotten attached the way I did even when I look at the stories being built there and can see the heart in them, the storytelling, the care, just as much as the DSMP if not more. There’s no good reason for it, it just hasn’t locked into place the way this story had, having been the perfect storm of circumstances. The DSMP came to me during one of the worst years of my life, and I have loved it so much I miss that time even with all the bad it carried too.

And now this thing I have been holding onto can only make me angry, hit me with grief and disgust. Fuck, the only plan I’ve had for an original novel in years is a loose adaptation of TDDD. My senior thesis was largely a novella about two siblings with a complicated relationship, the older fatalistic, the younger brave to the point of ignorance. So even that original project has poison in it now. All of it, all of my fucking work, all of my growth as a writer, all of my writing for over three fucking years has poison in it.

I’ve felt lost as a writer for a long time and the only thing keeping me anchored was these characters. And I don’t know how to cut them away from myself and I don’t know how to cut him away from what’s left when his writing, his character, undeniably gave me so much of a spark. When I’m happy, I write. When I’m sad, I write. There's so much bad in the world right now, but I could always fall back on writing. And now my main means of escape is the grief. Far more than ever before. I know this too shall pass and all that, and this hasn’t actually stolen my ability to write, but right now it all feels so ruined. I don’t know how long it will take for me to be able to look back on what I’ve made and not feel like this. I'd maybe moved on in some ways, but not all. There was so much left I wanted to do.

If you’ve somehow read this far, know that I love this community with my whole heart. I never quite made friends with any of you, even as I wanted to, and it's felt too late for a long time now. My beloved mutuals (and followers that are mutuals in all but name) I have found so much joy with you, in what all of you have created. I wish I could hold onto that above all else, even if I’m not quite sure how. I’m not going anywhere, to be clear. I won’t delete my blog and fall off the face of the earth or anything. I still love what all of you create and care about, even if things have changed and our interests don’t always align anymore. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to detach this story from the creator, to love any of it the way I did or even love what I myself created again. I don’t really know why I’m writing this or if I’ll even post it except for the fact that you all are the only people who could understand.

Again, this was a deeply personal rant, not a statement about the situation as a whole, nor do I think this situation's impact on me takes an ounce of precedent over the person actually involved. The most important takeaway from this is what Shelby has shared, the importance of believing victims, to do what we can to protect ourselves from abuse that doesn’t seem obvious, and to look out for each other. Take care of yourselves, everyone.

#spilled penink #fuck i don't know what to tag this. #wilbur situation #abuse tw #ask to tag #I don't know about my current fics or what I plan to do going forward so don't read this looking for answers on that. #honestly i just had nowhere else to put this. this is something I would have ideally shared just with close friends #but they'd have no idea what I was talking about so here we are. desperate times. #sorry for the doom and gloom. i know there's been a lot of it as of late. please feel free to keep scrolling. #idc if people reblog. this is just. not the important thing right now yknow. #supporting shubble is all that really matters.

[flashanimated]

BEEN DOWN THIS ROAD BEFORE,

ALREADY KNOW THIS STORY.

#sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #silver the hedgehog #explanation!! in tags. since i don't think my composition got my exact idea down #but this song is one of my fav sonic (as a character) themes. what it tells us about sonic. and this lyric especially stood out to me #we don't really know much of sonic's past (as of current game canon) or real feelings on most situations. to get them in character themes #like this is wonderful. and for so long i keep thinking about how like #i really truly think. when you really think abt it and consider them all as characters within canon #especiallyyyy the 1998-2000s games. sonic has more similarities to shadow and silver than what's been shown or what most have known #originally this was going to just have sonic and shadow but i always have to throw silver into things #but i wanted to potray a sort of sympathy from sonic as well as sense of understanding #being the hero of the whole world saving it many times and fighting insane things as a 15 year old little animal's gotta be a lot #& anyway i like to take baby game seriously just a little bit

[anonymousdandelion]

There is nothing to say, or rather there is far too much to say and I cannot find the words to say any of it.

But I will say, briefly, because there is a possibility this may actually be a useful reminder for someone: if you have Jewish friends — or others who may be being affected by what is happening in Israel — please consider reaching out and checking in to see how they're doing.

It can feel awkward, I know. I am, myself, The Worst at reaching out. Sometimes you don't know what to say. (Literally something as simple as "Just wanted to check in to see how you're doing" can mean a lot.) Or you don't want to bring uo upsetting topics. (We're already upset, I assure you, it won't be your fault.) Or you don't want to pressure them to correspond at a time when they're already potentially overwhelmed. (That's a very thoughtful concern... and you can tell them exactly that.)

Please reach out anyway. Let the people in your life know that you're there, that you care, that you are if nothing else aware.

Because it's hard, when your world has been shaken, and your loved ones are in danger or in mourning, and the people all around you are apparently living in a completely different world where nothing at all has happened.

#jumblr #current events #this message brought to you by a conversation #in which people were talking about the different reactions we'd seen #and some of us realized that not one single non-jewish person in our lives had mentioned the situation all unless we brought it up #(i am among them and in this i guess i am lucky because at least it means i also haven't had people coming at me trying to justify things) #it does kind of feel like living in two different worlds #(neither of which is tumblr because i'm still not really looking at my dash just popping in briefly) #(hello everyone <3) #dandelion says #jewish dandelion

[zapsoda]

ok but blatantly and inarguably a lot of "accepting" parents would rather their children be ~nonbinary~ and/or ~nontransitioning~ than binary transgender, and this doesnt devalue exorsexism (not only because it is another form of exorsexism) but because it is a fact

#when i was first talking to my mother about being transgender she struggled with it a lot #and she Asked why i couldnt just “be nonbinary” because that would be easier for *her* to 'deal with' #and my parents are currently accepting but that is still a thing transgender youth have to deal with #the fact that some binary trans people feel the need to misgender themselves in order to make cis people feel more comfortable #because *cis* people view nonbinary trans identities as 'less extreme' or 'less trans' #and that is both transphobia and exorsexism on the part of the cis person!!! #why must we blame other trans people for the situations cis people put us into #and to bring up some other bullshit i was whining about yesterday #being told that *really* got to me. because i didnt choose any of this! #if i could just not be trans and not have to deal with all of the pain i would have! #it has made my life endlessly difficult! if i did have a choice i dont see why i would have chosen to be trans #my family was desperate for a baby girl. all of my aunts and uncles wanted a girl child but they couldnt get one. until my parents #and im just throwing that all away #why would i do that on purpose. disappoint my entire family like that #anyways #got sidetracked #thats not the point #im gonna go eat breakfast ahahah