#if i could just not be trans and not have to deal with all of the pain i would have!

[fairytale-poll]

FINALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Propaganda Under the Cut:

Ponyo:

determined 5yo girls are more powerful than god

PONYO!!!!

As a child i did not even realize this was a little merm adaptation, but it really reads. She is sooo strange and other worldly and the movie absolutely captures that dreamlike fairy tale vibe

Ponyo a roughly five-year-old magical goldfish who can transform into a frog-type thing and a human girl. She's the eldest daughter of the literal goddess of the sea and a former human sailor given immortality. She falls in love with the five-year-old boy who cares for her and is thrilled to explore his ordinary yet magical world. She's bouncy, exuberant, and joyful. She loves ham. She doesn't have to give up her voice.

ponyo ponyo ponyo little fishie in the sea!

Little fishy

THEY LOVE HAM

Bug:

Their a bug that falls in love with a human they rescue and becomes human, but even when they don't get to keep their human body, they still get to be with their love. It's a sci-fi fairytale musical.

Little Mermaid meets Starship Troopers musical starring awesome puppets and the most trans coded main character ever. Please. Please vote Bug Starship I love him. Go watch Kick it Up a Notch from Starship. Go watch Status Quo from Starship. You will understand.

He's a bug and he lives in space on a bug planet but he really wants to be a starship ranger which you can only be if you are a human and then one day a spaceship lands on his planet and so he goes to an evil bug called Pincer who then helps him become a human. And Bug falls in love with a human on the spaceship and it's very sweet. The musical and storyline are based on the little mermaid story, the creators themselves called it "the little mermaid but in space". Bug wanting to be a human/a starship ranger and achieving that and falling in love with a human is very much like the little mermaid

Starship is a musical that can only be described as The Little Mermaid meets Starship Troopers. It follows Bug, an alien bug who dreams of being a Starship Ranger, a galactic explorer/soldier, but the rigid confines of bug society keeps him trapped in a job he hates. He reaches a Starship Ranger named February from the hive and immediately falls in love with her. In order to be with her and pursue his dream, he makes a deal with a giant scorpion named Pincer who through sci-fi bs gives him a human body. Near the end of the second act he sacrifices his human body and returns to his bug body, and saves the day and wins February's heart. It's truly the ultimate Little Mermaid. He has multiple songs, and his bug body is portrayed by a puppet!! Vote for Bug!!

“It's a big, big, universe So many dimensions And unanswered questions Not to mention Life What an invention Life There's no choice involved in what you are given One mind, one voice, one body to live in It's a short, small thing we lead With so much potential Pointless or essential Which one can I be? Where do I fit? Where do I stand? Who are they to say what I am? And how can I stay inside this awful world I know? I need a way out I need an escape I'd rather be dead than to live in this place I wish that something or someone could just take it all away Someone take me away” dear god….. can anybody hear me…. (song from starship)

They are the purest little mermaid adaptation done in the most unuque way. An alien insect gets turned into a human, a race he has always loved and admired, to be with the woman he fell in love with. Also just a great musical.

Bug's whole arc is so so in tune with that of the little mermaid. He is an alien who has fallen in love with humanity through a crashed spaceship and trades his place in the hive for a chance to be with both with the human he's falling for and to be a Starship Ranger. He body swaps with human in a cryogenic pod! It's literally sci-fi Little Mermaid!

Don't stick to the status quo and pick the fairy tale!! it's what HE would want!!!

#ponyo #studio ghibli #bug #starship #team starkid #starship by team starkid #the little mermaid #little mermaid #poll tournament #poll bracket #character polls #polls #fairytale #fairy tale #tournament finals #finals #round 6 #the little merpoll

[gglitch1dd]

I have a few problems with you.

First of all, your deku work is nice and everything, but honestly you seem like some anti-feminist in sheep's clothing. Why can't reader ever be strong? Why can't they be a hero or fight back or stand at the same pedestal as Deku? It's always reader being this weak little submissive wife that makes him food and gives him babies.

Also I hate that you constantly shit on Katsuki and Ochaco. It's weird. Just say you don't like her because she's the main female protagonist of the show.

And also, maybe you're just some conservative weirdo, but why don't you ever use he/him reader or use trans readers? Or be a bit more inclusive?

Wow. Okay. That's quite something. I've been avoiding answering this but let me try.

Hey Anon, first of all, I pray that God gives you peace in your heart. I don't know who hurt you because it wasn't me, but I hope you know that you don't have to be so offended with the things I write. You don't like it? Swipe left. If it isn't your tea? Go back. If you aren't seeing what you want to be seeing, find another author.

Let me comment on what you said first. Bold of you to say that because reader (that is married to Izuku) isn't a hero and is a housewife, that she is weak. She's not. She's strong. What's wrong with being feminine or being a housewife and being happy that way? I personally like reading stories with such a more domestic reader (as I myself don't like the idea of working for the rest of my life and actually prefer being at home), and I filled in the gap where other people weren't writing for that.

Reader doesn't just keep quiet and pop out babies. She's a strong woman with a good husband that's willing to be good for her and she's a strong mother too. If you think all a stay at home mom does is pop out babies and praise her husband, you're mistaken.

I've already explained my deal with Katsuki and Ochaco, I'm not going to explain it again.

Finally, if you're offended by my writing, don't read it. Simple. Ignore it. Not everyone has to cater for everything the else I'd be here for a long time. I don't hate other types of readers, and I wish I could write for them. I can't. I include them in other ways through characters close to the reader in the story. I'm being inclusive. Katsuki being AFAB but using he/him pronouns in 'A Wishful Time' is me being inclusive. Mina being black in non-quirk aus and Sero being Latino is me being inclusive.

It's a shame you don't like my work but that's okay👍🏿 I hope you find an author that caters to your tastes more.

-Glitch1d

#glitchy community concerns #rude anon #sorry for all my fans that had to read this

[zapsoda]

ok but blatantly and inarguably a lot of "accepting" parents would rather their children be ~nonbinary~ and/or ~nontransitioning~ than binary transgender, and this doesnt devalue exorsexism (not only because it is another form of exorsexism) but because it is a fact

#when i was first talking to my mother about being transgender she struggled with it a lot #and she Asked why i couldnt just “be nonbinary” because that would be easier for *her* to 'deal with' #and my parents are currently accepting but that is still a thing transgender youth have to deal with #the fact that some binary trans people feel the need to misgender themselves in order to make cis people feel more comfortable #because *cis* people view nonbinary trans identities as 'less extreme' or 'less trans' #and that is both transphobia and exorsexism on the part of the cis person!!! #why must we blame other trans people for the situations cis people put us into #and to bring up some other bullshit i was whining about yesterday #being told that *really* got to me. because i didnt choose any of this! #if i could just not be trans and not have to deal with all of the pain i would have! #it has made my life endlessly difficult! if i did have a choice i dont see why i would have chosen to be trans #my family was desperate for a baby girl. all of my aunts and uncles wanted a girl child but they couldnt get one. until my parents #and im just throwing that all away #why would i do that on purpose. disappoint my entire family like that #anyways #got sidetracked #thats not the point #im gonna go eat breakfast ahahah

[moongothic]

I love the crocodad theory a lot but I fear that the fandom will start misgendering him or respect the character less because of transphobia.

Oda have written queer characters before who are respected by the fandom such as Bonclay but for Crocodile its another story. He is their alpha male badass character and adding queerness to his character might make them mad. Not that I care about those bigots feelings but its already not easy to navigate this fandom without queerphobia being thrown in your face.

Ppl can digest a queer character who fit in the stereotypes but once they dont, its another story.

Same, people are weird as fucking hell and gross about Crocodile maybe being trans already, we can be sure it would get worse if him being trans was confirmed in the story, there would be absolutely no avoiding it

But at the same time...

Transphobes are gonna be transphobes regardless, and I don't want that to become a reason for any storyteller to not create trans characters. I don't want Oda to bend over backwards to please the transphobes when they're the ones in the wrong. If anything, I want Oda to just go all the way with the message of queer liberation and freedom in One Piece. Like it's not perfect, but it's already there, but it's so subtle many queerphobes have been able to ignore it this whole time and I don't want Oda to let them ignore it anymore. I want him to rub it into their faces so hard they'll start complaining about "Oda going woke"

And like, let's be real. If Crocodile was trans and Oda pulled it off just right (without falling into certain pitfalls that he's be stumbling with this whole time with queer rep), that could unironically be like. Great not just trans rep but trans masc rep in particular

Like maybe it's just the media I've consumed but trans masc rep is typically very non-existant and/or very much like Yamato, who, while valid as hell, might not be how many trans masc people want to be seen as by others (as in, "confused girls")

We've known Crocodile as a character for 23 years at this point, and for the first 8-9 years of that he was very much seen as A Manly Cis Man (like you said) without a hint of a doubt (until Impel Down). If it turned out he had been trans this whole time, that would force people to rethink how they view trans people.

As just regular fucking people

That person you knew for years turned out to be trans? So what? What does that actually change about them? It's still the same person deep down. Those are the things Oda could force people to think about.

And honestly? If that helped convert even just a single transphobe, or educate someone without an opinion on trans people, to just letting trans people live their lives in peace, I think it'd be worth it

But like, yeah. The transphobes are gonna be loud regardless. It fucking sucks, and I hate the fandom for it. But, damned if you do, damned if you don't, there's no avoiding it. And I think the potential positive impact would outweight the already festering negativity.

#Moon posting #Sir Crocodile #CW Discussion of transphobia #Mind you this is assuming Oda pulled it off right #By which I mean he doesn't give Crocodile some stupid fucking excuse to why he transitioned #Like ''wanted to escape being a woman'' or ''because being a woman was weak'' or something fucking stupid #I don't think Oda knows what gender dysphoria even is so the idea of Crocodile transitioning to deal with that feels like a bloody pipedrea #But literally even just ''preferred being a man'' would be fine #The bar. Is so fucking low #My other thing is that I absolutely do not want to see him get detransitioned. At all. #Like a lot of people have been speculating that the reason we never see Crocodile use Haki might be because it could detrans him #And regardless of if that's canon or not-- I do not want to see him detransition. At all. #If we see him pre-t in a flashback that's fine #I just don't want to see him have to sacrifice his comfort for a dramatic scene where he has to ''go all out'' or something #(Especially because knowing Oda there is no way he would do that without sexualizing him for no good reason) #Honestly I am more concerned about Oda fucking it up than the fandom being gross #My bar is so fucking low and yet so impossibly high for Oda #Also what gets me about Crocodile is that usually the queer characters are young and/or amab #And this is true for literally all of the other queer rep in OP rn #Crocodile is almost a middle aged trans man and honestly would that not be like a breath of fresh fucking air #OP Meta

[vigilskeep]

?????? What do you mean Anders is all like, "We have a kid now" when Keir gets back from the Fade ??????? Where did he get the nugget?????

#sorry i could not resist the opportunity. anyway could be this #could be that anders picked up a random mage kid bc i really do mean it when i say keir is 85% of his impulse control #with 5 amells in the circle theres a fair likelihood there are baby ones out there that were separated so thats another line of thought #if u cant have a baby get ur husbands second cousin once removed on sale now #but anyway ya ive always had trans anders hcs in one direction or the other so like #bio keir/anders kid very possible in my mind why not! grey wardenisms permitting and all that #i have not thought it through deeply but it is for sure on the table #like i think they both want kids and they know how dangerous it would be but like if the opportunity was suddenly there #i DO think anders is the kind of messy decision maker to keep a baby while on the quest to cure the calling and being separated from #his husband for a couple months. that IS on brand. and he wouldnt tell anyone for ages bc hes stupid #also im rlly fascinated by yrsa dealing with it bc of like dwarven issues with infertility and the royal pressure for heirs and the #inability of two grey wardens. #this is messy it is very early in the morning and i have a cold. suffice it to say i have been throwing concepts around #i just think its terribly interesting. i love when fantasy generational chaos #also i want bethy 2 hold a little niece or nephew is this too much to ask i thibk #*think not

[thatrandomartistjavi]

Got a bought of dysphoria and then my OCD was immediately like But what if you’re actually not trans and just trying to escape misogyny and it’s just like

I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE UT IHATE IT

#LIKE OMG STFU #I envy any trans man who doesn’t have to deal with ocd #I’m in agony all the time #I just wish I could look like a boy #my house makes it worse cause my mom gaslights me #gender dysphoria #ftm dysphoria #ocd #gender ocd #identity ocd #vent #javi rambles

[northern-passage]

the extreme in italics too? i'm imagining them like that gif of that person walking on the street recoiling in horror at zoomed in shots of lesbian behavior except in this case it's like...two references to hormone potions

transphobes will get mad any time they're put in a situation where they are forced to acknowledge the fact that trans people exist

#tried to articulate my thoughts more but honestly this is all it is at the end of the day #i get it all the time with tnp cus i dont advertise it as a trans story #the most i do is put it in the lgbt tag on itchio #so people tend to get real mad when it is revealed in game. i've been dealing with it since i started #it's weird. it fluctuates #just talking abt how i feel like attitude around merry has changed recently #but not too long ago when i genderlocked Noel i had a lot of ppl mad then #bc xe uses neopronouns and now i was FORCING everyone to acknowledge them and use them #whereas before they could pick another set of pronouns and ignore it #i know ppl ignore it about merry and lea #and ppl just straight up misgendered clem for a long time lmfao #i think recently adding in everyone introducing themselves w their pronouns was too much for some ppl too #like i said the more they are forced to acknowledge the fact trans ppl exist the angrier they will get #cus they have no empathy or compassion for us #um. but also i think it's bc ppl have been recommending tnp as a game that's like the witcher all over reddit recently #so........ lol #this is not the game those ppl are expecting #ask #anonymous #transphobia

[morganaspendragonss]

I’m aware that nobody on this site actually cares about the uk or the people who live there but it feels like it should be a bigger deal that our government is planning to overhaul the human rights act, which will make it easier to deport people, harder to get justice for people who die in police custody, it will BAN bringing human rights violations against the military, and parliament will have the final say in human rights courts.

They introduced this bill because the European court of human rights stopped them from deporting migrants to Rwanda.

#uk politics #and this is just part of what’s happening #abortion could be banned again in ireland (3 years after it was legalised) #the culture secretary is trying to ban trans athletes from all women’s sport #an mp has spoken out saying he doesn’t believe women have the right to bodily autonomy #oh and the cost of living is rising so much that families are struggling to live #so like…..i know this site is very american leaning and yes everyone hates the british but this is kind of a big deal? just a thought

[magentagalaxies]

fucking love it when one of my professors brings up kids in the hall in giving me feedback, not in a pandering way but in a "this is an observation i've made about their work and how you could channel this aspect in your own comedy to get yourself out of your comfort zone and play with new things"

#shoutout to my improv teacher fr #we were talking about how i don't use dynamic physicality and movement as much in my characters #and she brought up how so much of their characters are very physical and encouraged me to play with that #and also specifically character temperament and emotions and stuff bc i have a specific range i play in #and it's funny even tho i personally think my comedy style is most like bruce #and scott in a lot of ways has these uninhibited moments i wish i could throw myself into #in terms of character range/voice/temperament/emotion? i'm playing heavily in the scott zone rn #and my professor was like ''that's great but also i wanna see you play a bruce girl'' #we also had a whole conversation about gender and kith and how gender plays into my improv or is absent from it a lot of the time #and holy shit erin my improv teacher wins cis ally of the day award she was so respectful while also having good feedback #(her feedback was low key ''be more overtly trans even if it makes cis people uncomfortable'') #bc like. i'm very overtly trans in my standup rn like you know how aubrey is #but in improv? sure i play many characters regardless of gender but that's the thing. it's ''regardless'' of gender #so i sort of default to being neutral so that others can project onto me. it's sort of ''idgaf i'm chill'' which in itself still is radical #but it gives ''cis allys'' who don't want to deal with gender an outlet to just project onto me in a way that i could own much more #anyway the way i process feedback is often by repeating it to someone else so like. this didn't need to be a post this is for me #but idk if you're following along with my comedy journey (or even if you just want to hear my professor reference kids in the hall!) #maybe this is of interest to you. in any case i'm very excited to play with all this stuff much more #and i definitely feel confident in my comedic identity and trans identity and most of all my trans-comedian identity #and i'm excited to see how i grow from here

[mcnuggyy]

just remembered the fucked up dream I had last night where like 99% of the population switched bodies with somebody else somewhere in the world, BUT you weren’t aloud to talk about it at all or say who you really are or what your actual body looks like or else the government(?) would fucking kill you, like there was cameras watching us at all times, and people getting shot in front of us was common, it was very dystopian… but it was kind of an unspoken fact that almost all the people who were doing the best job at pretending to be people they weren’t were all transgender for some reason?? to the point where a lot of us had found ways to talk about it without talking about it and could bypass the cameras and shit… and the like guy who was all behind it had to get involved eventually…and he like started interviewing some of us and finally once and for all had us talk about who we really were and it was very dramatic and emotional but I woke up like immediately after saying what I looked like and who I was so 🤷🏻 who knows what would have happened next LMAO

#definitley some sort of weird queer horror trans narrative going on #but waking up I was like damn… I was getting misgendered left and right non stop and just had to deal w it #then I was like oh that’s already my existence LMAO #(I was on the body of a very very attractive young blonde woman btw #like MODEL type but I was still unhappy… even being conventionally attractive cause obviously I wasn’t myself #and I can’t even imagine what it would have been like with people experiencing racism for the first time or not experiencing it for the firs #t time… all sorts of wack stuff #I remember there being like a 60 year old guy who was on the body of a little girl #and when they die their bodies switch backed so you would see the like dead old man there instead of the little girl #but I’m not sure what happened to the other person you switched with? like did they die too? would u be responsible for their death? #or would they get to finally live as themselves again? #which would be worse? #idk… #cause then I could see like someone trying to find themself and then try and trick the other person #into talking about it so they could return back to their body #or you would always be on fear that someone out there on the other side of the world could kill you at any moment #NOT TO MENTION THE LANGUAGE BARRIER OF THATS A THING but I think in my dream people just were able to speak the language of the body they #switched into but yeah… anyways <3 #very interesting thought experience once again my dreams are always so strange lmao #callate guero

[ember-amber]

God, you people talking about transmisoginy.

Honest to fucking god should I just give up on transitioning. I am going to be a fat, tall woman with wide ass shoulders, I might pass but not without great effort. I will be seen as a disgusting degenerate freak not only to cis people, but to the entirety of the queer community as well apparently.

Should I just keep the male privilege and ignore any thoughts that come my way. That just seems like the infinitely easier path, where way less people hate me for existing.

#transmisogny tw #transmisoginy #transgender #tw vent #vent post #mtf trans #i could also just kill myself so i dont have to deal with all that shit #that is the easiest least painful path of them all

[clementiens]

.

#i've thought here and there (sometimes a lot more than here and there) about changing my name for like 8 years #and idk maybe it is time! maybe it's something to actually consider if i've been actively avoiding considering it for so long #my name now isn't like. particularly meaningful. it was basically just There when i came out as trans #and my feeling towards it was honestly just relief at feeling like i didn't have to make a decision myself #but there are 2 that have both been on my mind this entire time #i've had my current name for 10 years. legally for 9. and it was only like a year after that that i was like hmmm #but even if it wasn't already changed legally i was SO averse to anything that could have possibly been seen as wavering or uncertainty #i came out 10 years ago at 17 and i had to really dig my feet in to get my family on board enough to start transitioning soon as i hit 18 #and i felt like being Certain and not showing Any hesitation would make other ppl see me as more legitimate #so no going through multiple names #and then also the Hassle it's just such a pain doing all that legally #idk maybe i just wouldn't bother. just tell everyone in my life that this is the deal now but i'm not bothering w legal documents #idrc about people calling me a different name in medical / official settings as long as it's not incongruous w my gender #or maybe i would do it eventually legally. i've wanted to change my last name the whole time too

[moongothic]

God I wish I could remember what Oda once said about mothers in One Piece... I can't remember if it was about Luffy's mother in particular or moms in general, but he essentially joked about how you'd have to be A Really Horrible Mother to allow your child to go off and become a pirate (dangerous business no loving mother would allow)

And just... My vague memory of that comment is living in my head right now, because truly, if Crocodile somehow is Luffy's mom, truly nothing would make him a worse mom than

Literally trying to murder his child and beating him to near death multiple times the first time they actually meet

Going so far to stop being a mom that he became a dad instead

#Moon posting #Honestly I can't help but to feel that if the theory is true I don't think Crocodile has any positive feelings about Luffy #Like I don't think he'd see Luffy as his child or. Anything #Like the vibe I get is that Luffy to him would be nothing more than something from a past life he wants nothing to do with #And a past version of himself he wants buried dead and forgotten #Like think about masculinity- both in general but also in the terms of OP's story #The way some cishet men react to the mere concept of Trans Croco and the way they're ready to dismiss him as a ''real man'' #Like. Fragile Masculinity makes it so that if you aren't performing your manliness at 1000% at all times you aren't manly #That's why it's fragile. It's all or nothing. And so if Crocodile was FtM many would see him as just the F. They'd just ignore the ''tM'' #Crocodile did not seem like he wanted to be associated with Iva-chan or any of the newkama AT ALL #If he is trans then he is fully stealth. He does not want to be outed. He does not want to have his manhood questioned. #His past could instantly be used to turn him into a laughing stock. He'd have to deal with transphobic attacks and misogyny #So if he just wants to live his life in peace then he could just see his past as a potential threat to his future #Anything about who he might've been could be used against him #That includes the husband he divorced. That includes the child he abandoned. #They aren't anything to Crocodile but something he wants nothing to do with. #And he's willing to go so far as to kill that child to tie up any loose ends #Which sounds horrible but he did attempt to kill millions with a massive bomb so like #Yeah. Sir Crocodile ain't winning Dad of the Year award anytime soon. He does not give a shit about his son. #Crocodile looked at Shinji Evangelion and figured he could have a worse father-son relationship. And he's winning that contest #Of course this reading is absolute bonkers and I doubt Oda could write a trans character with this kind of nuance #It just makes sense to me alright #And I have brainworms #And if I'm being realistic I only think there's a 30% chance the Crocodad theory is actually canon #Trans Croco in general get's a 70% because. You don't give this guy some Secret Beef with the Magic HRT Person like that #Again I just think it'd be fucking funny if he was Luffy's dad #It is 6 am I am not proof reading any of this shit

[lavenite]

and i know its said a lot but im soooo serious when i say trans women who are musicians are so fucking good. go listen to pigeon pits three albums in a row and experiencing her journey in discovering herself and the evolutions of her relationship then come back to me

#i didnt even realize she was trans until halfway through the second album and i had to google it lol but seriously hope shes doing well #NOT TO BE CRINGE but as much as people rag on folkpunk i really do like it bc the albums are just from people. self produced and self writte #n #so its very personal. especially cause the bands usually deal with addiction or homelessness or gender issues #and often times when listening to someone whos been in the scene a while. you can basically see their journey as their music develops #like all of pat the bunnys bands are a very good example of this cause you compare johnny hobo to his final solo stuff…. #pigeon pit is another favorite of mine cause i listened to her whole discography on a road trip and yea it was good #and days n daze ofc cause thats my fav band LOL i even have all their earliest albums that arent on spotify on burned cds so i can listen to #it whenever. plus ive saved like every video of them i could possibly find on youtube. and read interviews and and WHATEVER closest thing il #ill get to a parasocial relationship but thats not happening bc i understand these are just people dealing with addiction and mental illness #in the way that they can #but yea whatever getting off track idk i like the things i do and i think its good

[threadmonster]

I am gonna have an unfun end to pride month so if anyone wants to wish my luck in formally coming out to my mother feel free to do so! (⁠・⁠–⁠・⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ

#{domino talks} #i COULD rant to explain all of this but i probably shouldn't #it is a very long and complicated and stupid as all hell story #gonna have the conversation during a 2ish hour car ride while i'm tired sooooo that's just... awesome #my mom isn't even the problem just i feel the need to defend her a little bit #this is someone else's fault who made it my problem basically like i'm cleaning up a huge mess #i'm at a point where i can no longer avoid this can of worms #pro tip: it's hard to get someone to understand something if you're just screaming at them for not understanding it #that's not exactly a good way to come out to people you want to accept you?? #yeah a trans family member is at fault for this mess which is... so complicated to deal with... #i ranted a little bit i'm sorry i just oof I'm nervous and never wanted to come out to begin with???

[zhalar]

hate that i have to come out. i hate that!!! i hate that if i want to experience a modicum of gender peace for these upcoming two years i have to tell my new teachers that im nonbinary and would like to use [this name] even though none of my official papers have it on them, and probably wont, cuz its not A Name that i can confidently believe will pass the naming convention.. laws... of this country. I HATE THAT I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO PLEAD MY CASE AND EXPLAIN MYSELF. im trying to construct this message that i’ve got no idea will even be read or noted just to have it in my student record somewhere that “hey im SOOOO sorry but if its not a problem to you i would love to feel like a human person even on a name-basis during my studies and im MORE than fine to be otherwise (mis)gendered as long as its not a problem to YOUUUUU also i know that my legal name is literally on show in every school email and profile so whatever i say here matters none cause everyone will only see that clearly gendered name and not give a flying fuck about this “”nickname”” im trying to get going since its not my LEEEGAAALL name but thats also so fine with me if i could Just get the clear to sign my emails and whatsapp messages with my preferred name thankyouuu :)” 

sorry im always complaining here it gets ANNOYING. im mostly trying to get my own brain straight about this matter. uhggh BUT ITS SO AWKWARD TO WRITE THAT MESSAGE. i dont want to explain myself but i also dont! want! to make a scene!!!! im so pissed off at myself for not opening my DAMN MOUTH when the group-wide introductions happened this week. shoulda just bit the bullet and said ive got [this] name in official papers but would prefer to be called särmä. literally could feel the nerve escaping my body when it came to my turn. fucking hell

(EDIT ive calmed down. i didnt send the message fuck this noise, im just gonna hope that i’ll get it out face to face this next week [biting through glass])

#i dont know man. im like 90% sure one of the classmates is a trans dude which. poggers as hell considering where we are #(hes got trans-flag color beads in his shoelaces and i may have seen a binder but genuinely none of my business its just smile to me) #so me coming out nonbinary shouldnt be a big deal . hopefully. but being binary trans and nonbinary are still kinda different things #for some 50yo man to wrap his mind around. clearly. when they keep referring to our group as boys and girls (men and women) exclusively #this would all be so much easier if i'd just changed my name legally and come clean to anyone in my daytoday life. bet id be more confident #introducing myself as särmä to strangers that way #särmäs sermons #its always this flavor with me lol #ALSO YEAH LMAO FUCK. FUUUCK picking my name i didnt foresee that särmä is a Work Word that people in this field Use <3 #did not fucking occur to me that o yeah woodworking = maths = geometry I FEEL SO SILLYYYYYY AND NOT IN THE FUN WAYYYYY #i could just use the regular ol finnish almanac name that ive got for situations like this one but its so clearly Male that im even LESS #confident trying to get near strangers call me that in a work/school environment #i love you trans people who take up space and are upfront and loud about your transness youre literally everything to me. #one day im gonna be like you.