#NOT TO MENTION THE LANGUAGE BARRIER OF THATS A THING but I think in my dream people just were able to speak the language of the body they | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-s1lly-corner · 7 months

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Could you do A, C, I, G, K, L, and P for EJ in the fluff alphabet? It would make me reallyyyy happy :3

Fluff Alphabet w/ EJ!!

ive been waiting for someone to do EJ you dont understand!!! i saw this earlier but the power went out when i finally had time to sit down and get to writing </3 my apologies as for other stuff/for everyone else, requests are still open, and the fluff alphabet will be open indefinitely!!

ATTRACTION- Honestly I think you gotta be a real catch to end up as Jacks partner, considering his entire hermit thing... I personally think that he separates himself from society after he becomes Eyeless Jack via a funky cult sacrifice thing... which he was kinda pretty much unwillingly roped into. I think he would want someone who's capable of taking care of themselves, and perhaps someone whos smart. maybe even lower maintenance. its not that he doesnt want to treat you as you deserve, its that sometimes he cant given he sometimes legitimately goes feral (though this is only really due to him pushing off his needs, blood frenzy type deal for when he pushes off eating people, can get real ugly). understanding as well, he needs someone whos willing to be understanding of his position and current predicament and know that eventually jack is going to fully not. be there anymore one day (possible angst idea? ooo?) but also even before the whole, demon thing, jack wasnt the most cheery or social and things definitely havent changed

CUDDLING- hes really cold so thats good for hot nights! not good for cold ones though </3 but hey maybe you guys are somewhere where its perpetually hot. as for the actual act of cuddling, he prefers to be the big spoon. likes sleeping closer to the door, kinda makes a barrier of himself for you in case someone were to come in. which is unlikely since if this were his place, its literally a cabin in the woods in bumfuck nowhere, but the point still stands. only engages if youre asleep or ask for it. if youre the one holding him, he kinda. freezes still and doesnt dare move. poor dude, hes so scared hes going to bite you or something

GIFT GIVING- since he lives in the woods and doesnt have a job he cant exactly go out and give you gifts. he also isnt fond of taking belongings from victims, since he already takes pieces of their bodies. coughs. anyways, i think hes more of an act of service person (will talk more about that in L)

INJURY- youre in luck, he had plans to be a doctor, thats what he was going to college for! plus i think he had a little fixation on medical stuff in general growing up. little hc that his other choice was to be a microbilogist. idk, i can see it. but i dont think it needs to be said that neither became reality. but he does know how to treat some injuries and illnesses! so youre both in luck! but how does he react, emotionally? honestly, as long as youre not bleeding while hes in his frenzied state hes more than willing to help you... although its more so because he doesnt want the scent to trigger anything in him... he cares about you, i promise! its just that ultimately its better he doesnt go feral on you- now if he was the one injured hes already patching himself up... oh but imagine convincing him to let you clean up a wound he got while trying to do his thing.... ouuuugh... let the man be vulnerable, let him be taken care of... ueueue... anyways- yeah

KISSES- he doesnt wear his mask when hes at your place or his cabin- in fact he only really wears it when hes 'hunting' or 'prowling', so!! loves kissing your cheek. will absolutely refuse to kiss you if hes just ate, though, let him wash his face and brush his teeth first. and change his clothes. he likes being kissed anywhere; forehead, mouth, cheeks, hands, ect ect ect. now in terms of frequency i dont think he likes it too often, but that may be some internalized thing about no longer being worthy of love or something but hey who am i to say (loudly winks)

LOVE LANGUAGE- as previously mentioned, acts of service is how jack shows his appreciation and love for you. need something done? hes on it! need to do some chores but dont feel like it? you dont even need to ask! stuff like that, hell, even if something doesnt need to be done he will probably tinker at it and try to make it better if its an appliance or something that can be upgraded to be more efficient and effective. when it comes to receiving he likes words of affirmation, this man has been through hell and hes still going through it, so reassuring him that you still love him even though hes changing makes things a little less scary

PET NAMES- he likes calling you babe and baby. he likes being called hon! doesnt really do petnames, he finds saying someones name intimate enough... which honestly i kinda agree with, i kinda hate how utilized it is in romantic media. just two characters loving each other, sharing a moment, and one softly utters the others name in a sweet tone. GUH!!!! anyway

#creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #eyeless jack x reader #eyeless jack x you #eyeless jack imagine #eyeless jack headcanon

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idyllic-affections · 5 months

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personally some of the first things id do with a genshin rewrite/remake is:

give the nations varying and different cultures (+ maybe a language barrier?)

make the characters feel like actual people and make paimon much less annoying, probably by actually making her a useful member of the player's adventure (not sure how, though)

this is minor, but i really wanted barbara to find out venti is barbatos lol. i think she'd have a stroke

give the current archons actual interactions, maybe zhongli and venti hint about the previous archons

more diversity obviously, both in skin color and body shape. mhy is a rich ass company, they can afford to make more than like 5 base models

honestly, i feel like the story genshin is trying to tell would probably work better as a book series, one book for every region + some novellas following the citizens of teyvat rather than the siblings. something a little like discworld, i guess?

🐌.

NO NO THIS IS SO REAL!!!!

in many of my fics, i try to directly mention or--at the very least--imply that teyvat has different languages and a language barrier. it is so so important to me.

AND NO THAT'S SO UMDERSTANDABLE TOO this is something i would want to fix. the question is definitely how, though.

she totally would omg.... thats so valid i think it would be so funny if she found out, esp considerimg how she broke down in front of him after the group gave her the holy lyre back. wdym the god she was PRAYING TO FOR FORGIVENESS was STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER 😟

THIS IS SOMETHING I WANT SO BAD... ARCHON LORE... GOD LORE IN GENERAL. i want to hear venti talk about decarabian more. i suppose i understand why he doesnt, from both a writing and psychological perspective, but i want to know more. i want mondstadt lore so bad 🙏🙏🙏 that's besides the point, though!!! i want to see the archons interact w/ each other. i want to hear about the original seven's dynamics. Please

this one is so real. but hyv genuinely is just being blatantly racist, in terms of their lack of racial diversity, at this point, and always has seemed to be. and--clearly--their writing isnt the best anyway. they can absolutely afford diversity in both race and body type (also hair type?? taking care of my hair has made me realize how little i see my own, specific hair type in media.... like damn i didn't notice before but now???). they just won't. not yet, anyway. i mean, hopefully they WOULD eventually, but... yeah.

TBH YEAH I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN genshin has a good basis for a series. as a game, it feels HELPLESS and genuinely infuriating at times. as the players we should have influence, at least a little bit of it, but we don't. or at least the illusion of influence, you know? thinking what you do matters but ultimately it doesn't.

anyways. genshin would definitely be suited to a book series of something of the like!

#aphelion replies: 🐌 anon 🌸

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system-of-a-feather · 1 year

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Mini Lovebird Saga 2.0

So after going to the amusement park we made a pitstop to check out the previously mentioned Lovebird and I ended up getting her cause I am pretty darn sure they weren't breeders based on their personality, severe lack of English fluency, and general house details so I got her for $120 which is on the expensive end for a not-tamed Lovebird without a cage but within my price range for a bird that would not fund a breeder

She's a "Blue" Peachface Lovebird (not reproductively compatible with Popsicle regardless of sex who is a Fischer) if I am ID mutations correctly, previous owner had her supposedly for 8 months and she was hand tamed before that if I understand the honestly difficult due to language barriers communication, so I am assuming the situation is she was one of three under-educated purchases by the Vietnamese family I bought her from.

From the brief time I've observed and interacted with her (about an hour 😂) I think I already figured out her behavioral profile and shit compared to other birds I've rescued and she's already getting comfortable

I was also 1000% correct that Popsicle was lonely cause she's been SUPER chatty and making a lot of positive social chirps and calls I hadnt heard until I brought this new friend in so thats a great sign

Only issue is I think our new friend probably hasnt been out of her cage much at all for 8 months and is easily startled and so I think Popsicle is a little much for her. The two I think come from similar but opposite situations so its kinda funny (in an interesting and coincidence way)

Either way, I am 1) not taking their gender ID of her too seriously on the account they didnt seem very familiar with bird care and 2) Lovebirds usually require DNA testing or selective breeding to sex them confidently so unless the breeder they got her from (assuming shes from a breeder) told them, I take any sexing of a lovebird lightly

Anyhow, they didn't tell me a name either cause she didn't have one or language barriers, so I gotta give her one. Thankfully I have DID and am good at naming things. So far I think we will go with Pocky (Short for Apocolypse which has many references) cause its stuck somewhat and Popsicle and Pocky sound like a good duo 😂

Either way I took Pocky to hang out a bit in the bathroom with Popsicle while I showered and I think shes rapidly figured out I'm chill cause now shes fluffed and sleeping

Meanwhile Popsicle is VERY engaged and interested in the new friend

More details and photos to come later once theyve settled in some

#alter: riku #lovebird saga #lovebird

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davekat-sucks · 4 months

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Doujin anon here, i think i was confused about what "Doujin" means since i had presumed it had just meant "fan manga" for awhile. While thats technically true partially, upon looking at the definition again it could also apply into other mediums as well. Does this mean all of those mspa fanadventures technically count as doujinshi or no? Idk, i didn't even know the proper terminology of the word for awhile correct me if im wrong I'm not savvy with Japanese terms. Like the other anon said, i was one of those people who didn't know what Japanese people meant by "cp" like i knew it didn't have any relation to you know what, but due to the language barrier i couldn't figure it out on my own. Ex: rkgk means sketch right? should probably look into a guide about the Japanese abbreviations and definitions for this stuff.

In a way, yes. Doujin itself means a group of people who share a hobby or interest. It's their word for fandom. Not to be confused with circle, which means a group of people (or even an individual person itself), selling doujin works as a team. Though not all Japanese people on places like Pixiv tag fanarts, as doujin 同人 when they upload it. Doujin also refers to works that started out as original comics, games, and more sold in Comiket that soon became professional works. Things like Touhou or Higurashi started out as an original game that was sold in Comiket, blew up in popularity as time went on. You can even think doujin games sold at Comiket like the ones mentioned here, as indie games. RKGK is the abbreviation for rakugaki, which means doodle or scribble in Japanese. Japanese artists tag this when they drew the art as said doodle or scribble to pass the time that it's not considered as art pieces to them. Most of the time though, I think said doodles make a great art piece alone. If you try telling them that, they get embarrassed and try to be humble. But please give them praises to let them know they are amazing! I don't blame you on the language barrier thing. Eastern fandom culture is different from the Western. When Japan does consume Western media, they take it as it is, a fictional media work. Compared to Western, who would think works from the past that were made in its time period, is problematic and should never be brought up again. Japan would know about the dark histories for some, but they also believe the intent for similar themes or topics that would be shown for upcoming or future works, is not out of maliciousness most of the time. The past is past and they would rather move on. With some exceptions based on country's personal history, but that's a whole other can of worms. The Japanese fandom also tend to be only exclusive to themselves. The relation between Eastern and Western fandom were not on good terms back then due to things like people reuploading Pixiv art and putting Nico Nico Douga videos on sites like YouTube, without permission. They even have applications for private community groups to make sure the person they are speaking to is Japanese and not some Western using a translator to sneak in and do things like download MMD models before releasing them back into public. Recently, Pixiv states that whatever country you are in, some content will not be shown there, to comply with other country's laws such as Europe's. Sites like Twitter/X already are banning stuff that's fine in Japan in order to follow Western standards. It's why sites like Misskey state that Japanese customs and beliefs towards certain media is different from America and Europe. If these bad communications and censorship keep going on, it won't be long until Japan finally decides all their works will only be Japanese exclusive and isolate themselves again. To the point they might even see if Western users are might be using VPNs to sneak in and block them. We really got to acknowledge the different fandom customs and cultures in various countries and languages. A Spanish community fandom will be different from something in English speaking ones. Not all groups have dark intentions. Only speak up if a person or group starts to get harmed because of it. And I don't mean like getting offended over a drawing someone stumbled upon by accident. I mean like someone harming themselves or anything truly legal involved.

#fandom #fandoms

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toerrishumansodontbeone · 9 months

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Everywhere else seems too shameful to share(though I did anyway) & elaborate on, because those places are full of legitimate knowledgeable pros/artists, but uhhhh,

so I think I want to become a tattoo artist?

But seeing as I am the person that I am, living in the place that I am, knowing the language as badly as I do and having the anxiety that I do that makes it appear even more basic, I don't think I really can go the traditional route of studio apprenticeships.

And the loud majority of studio tattooers will of course tell you to never ever how even dare you try to do ANY tattooing on your own!!!! To the point of actively discouraging even buying a machine at all, even just for practice skins. Just draw a lot and go spend 1-3 years in an unpaid grueling apprenticeship where maybe they'll let u do something in a year or so uwu (tho there are also ppl fighting the gatekeeping) ( n some apprentices Ive seen whove started doing serious practice within a few months)

But yea so,,, thats why tbh it feels embarrassing to even mention me wanting to, even though on the other hand thats also.... the way to put any sort of attention on you, to garner interest from prospective mentors and amass future clients....... but also god its nerve wrecking thinking some local pro is looking at my stuff with disdain and mockery.

It just sucks how much language is a barrier for me. I'm not confident enough to just barge in talking in english even if they prob know the language fine enough.

Ontop of that its kinda sad I had all this sustained motivation for several days in a row but then I made the mistake of posting some little designs online. Because I was excited about it I of course expected excitement back. A response! A showering of praise and acceptance!

But the need for social validation is a poisonous pit and it never gives back quite what you give it. I knew it would not give me the validation and would ruin things and make me doubt myself and still I was hopeful and wanted it to be different and maybe a little bit more like the old times,,,

Its so hard to keep up my own confidence, as essential as it is to human psychology. I cant even create those little wins to sustain any real growth in myself. I just keep regressing and becoming worse. Im a hermit but one that doesnt even have any real community to turn to even online..........ughhhhhhh.

This is a very unstructured ramble, but its felt so fruitless having all these thoughts clogging my brain and nobody to talk to about them.

I dont know. Now I suddenly got back into writing and making more significant progress on my story/possibly novella.

and inbetween I thought more and more of how tattoo artist is the antithesis of me. I cannot pull my own clients, I cannot talk to people and make them want to keep coming back for my company, I could not do the receptionist duties for an apprenticeship, I do not even have an appropriate space to tattoo if it ever came to that AND renting even v small offices is stupid expensive at first glance. So I could not start doing that without already having a steady stream of clients.

Tattooing feels like a level of responsibility I could handle, it feels like it would be an interesting new craft to explore, w techniques to master, a different kind of self expression........ but thats all idyllic theory. No career path really fits me and it comes back down again to me being so unable to change my social ineptitude. Its such a waste how I had some modicum of comfort and progress in that sphere my last few years in Latvia,, and it fell apart just because it was so unsustainable financially......... N now that Ive been comfortably settled for a while in austria, just being financially stable and comfortable isnt enough...

Insanely Ive been wondering if the economy has evened out some in LV that I could come back.......but theres no way I would even physically *survive* through some unpaid apprenticeship there.....

#uhhhhhh #im in a whining mood lately #this is very incoherent #anyway everything sucks wish I could be less self aware and keep the train rolling #until it landed against an actual obstacle and not jsut the idea of one #vermin chat

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elusiveink · 2 years

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if you're asking: this is an offering of my take on the event, while attempting to be nuanced:

-The candidate in question was a bad choice, who was ether was unqualified for the position or actively sinister. Its hard for me to say, as I like to presume the benefit of the doubt with everyone. I'd like to believe she was just inexperienced and misguided. However, something about that situation smelled.

Especially with how ao3 was banned in china.

She mentioned it was do to an image problem, in which its thought that ao3 hosts underage content. However, the reason it was banned in china was because it was mass reported to the government, after fans got mad at a queer fanfic. The fanfic in question had all the characters as adults. This is concerning to me personally, because it might mean that she equates cp with queer content. Thats a dangerous mindset for someone who's potentially running an archive of fanworks, especially where most of them involve queer content. On the other hand, it may just be a miscommunication or language barrier issues. I do like to presume the best out of everyone.

Anyway, apologies about the last ask. the entire discourse thing frustrates me, and i just. Am a bit tired. Anyway, hopefully it dies down soon.

the ao3 bots and the tag posts are great and i miss seeing them.

tbh I've seen bits and pieces of the ao3 director's election stuff but haven't read the candidates' statements themselves so can't comment on it. what I've seen is what you've said: that people are worried that improving ao3's image in China means heavy regulations on queer content.

I don't know the exact details of Chinese censorship laws but I have seen them implemented on media and I don't think it's unreasonable to be concerned about what that may mean for ao3.

mostly my annoyance is the floods of posts that are either "if you have concerns about potentially harmful content you're literally a homophobic fascist!" or "if you have concerns about the censorship of queer content you're literally a paedophile!" and like. neither of those things are true or helpful and it's the kind of insane righteous anger shit that I see people online fall for over and over again and that does my head in

#like i didnt look at the candidates so i dont know what all of their positions were #mostly im pissed off that people are just slapping accusations on a post towards anyone who might slightly disagree to shut down arguments #but this kind of thing happens with every discourse #its just wild that ive seen 'youre a fascist/racist/homophobe/abuser' accusations on like every side of these discussions #ask #anon #ao3 discourse #i am open to asks and comments but its also 2am so

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tea-with-m · 2 years

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hi um idk if you do requests and if not then feel free to ignore this!! could i get a vox x reader where the reader is afraid to fall in love because of some bad relas in the past? if not thats completely ok! thank you and i absolutely love your writing!!! make sure to drink water and stay hydrated!

Awe thank you @k-l-a-w-s ! I do have my asks open, I just haven't made an official requests post or anything. Your more than welcome to make requests tho and I'll do my best to get around to them. Hope you don't mind but I'm gonna tag on some extra guys just cause writing this got me thinkin and it feels a little wrong not to make a post for the V three with great this idea. Hope you like it ! I had a lot of fun writing it.

Warnings: Some strong language and some light mention of violence.

Afraid of falling in Love ?

(Vox, Velvet, and Valentino X reader afraid of Love

Vox

You had your fair share of relationships with a number of people and many of them left you burned, batter, and with a lasting bad taste in your mouth.

So it was no surprise that you had more than a little apprehension to the notion of "falling in love."

But here you were, in your most recent relationship with the cocky, loud, arrogant, and sometime selfishly acting Vox. He is certainly hard to handle at times, but you stuck it out.

And as the time past you have come to find that under his hard outer shell, there is a man who can be kind and thoughtful. Sure out in public he has this persona to uphold, but the time you have spent with him behind closed doors has shown you there is so much more to him that the shtick he gives everyone else.

That scared you.

The more of the real him you got to see, the more you grew to like and care for him. And it was at this point when all your past relationship would start to go wrong. When you started getting attached.

You feared deeply that things would go wrong with him too.

So you did the only rational thing you could think of to protect yourself and you started putting distance between you and him. You couldn't get hurt if you kept your distance. You talked less, went out less and little by little you would drift apart.

After all this couldn't be more than a fling to him? He was an Overlord. You had to be a one time pass, there was no way things were going to keep going so well.

You thought to yourself, soon he would be board of you and you would be done with him.

That is how things always went.

Weeks went by and soon weeks turned into months where you would say nothing and do nothing with him.

One day he asked you to meet him at his penthouse suite, just out of the blue. You were going to turn him down, but you figured if it was going to end it would be now. You would show up and either he would break up with you or you would break up with him.

This is the way it had to be.

But when you got there, you were surprised.

He had set up quite a romantic little scene, there were candles in your favorite scent that lead a trail to a dinner table for two. He stood there dressed in a suit and tie holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers.

You looked at him in pure shock

Tears began to well up in your eyes as the words left your lips

" I can't do this "

You turned to run away from him. But he caught your wrist before you could give him the slip. He asked you frantically.

"Baby please, I'm sorry if I did something wrong. I don't know what the hell I did... I'm a fuckin idiot. Just please talk to me. I want to try and make it better. But you been avoiding me. I was hopin maybe this shit would make you stay and talk. Damn, please give me something. "

You could hear the desperation and pain in his voice as he tried to get you to say something. You couldn't bare to look him in the face as you say.

"WE are done...Please... let me go." He let go of your wrist and you quickly walked towards the door.

What you didn't expect was for him to block the only exit with an electric barrier keeping you from leaving the penthouse. You stood staring at it. He spoke slowly.

"Tell me... Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel nothin for me. Look at me straight and tell me that it is over and I will let you walk out that door. If you can't do that then you and I ain't movin no where. "

You fall to your knees and begin to sob. You don't know what else to do. You couldn't tell him any of those things and actually mean it.

He walks over to you and sits in front of you. " I am not a very patient man... but I will sit here until you are ready to say somethin."

True to his word he sits patiently and waits for you to stop crying. He doesn't touch you at all he just lets you cry it out. It takes you about half an hour to feel stable enough to speak.

You start slowly and explain to him that you were so afraid of getting close to him because of the past relationships you had.

You have been used, abused, cheated on and thrown out all when you stared to feel something for those others. When things start to look like they are going good it all comes crashing down for you. You didn't want that to happen again. Especially not with him.

You really liked him, hell you might even say love and that terrifies you because you are so tired of being hurt. You started to cry again and this time he pulls you in and holds you. He speaks softly in a gentle tone.

" I understand how ya feel... I been through hell with this heart of mine too. It hurts that you think ya can't talk to me about this. But I understand why it is hard for ya. If ya still want this.. can you promise me you will come to me with your concerns and not just ghost me?"

You look up at him and give the side of his screen a light and playful flick. " Of course I still want you." You plant a gentle kiss on his screen where his mouth would be.

His screen color flushes in a pink shade and he lets out a staticky chuckle.

The two of you agree to take things slow and to talk more about how you feel. Vox expresses that he want you to feel confident in the relationship and in him because he is devoted to you.

He asks you if you wanna come with him to hunt down your ex's for some revenge. But you tell him not tonight and opt to just cuddle and enjoy each others company.

Your last thoughts' before falling asleep in his arms, is that maybe this relationship could grow into something good given time.

Maybe together you could both learn to love again and it wouldn't be so scary.

Velvet

You and Velvet started out as friends. You bonded at some event and went out on a spree of chaos for the night. The friendship quickly took off and you found yourself spending so much time with the spunky little red head.

You guys talked and texted all the time. It seemed like she was a real open book with you. Complete transparency.

Velvet would ask you to join her everywhere and one day she was like...

" I really like you. You wanna go out on a date like as not friends and just see where it goes?"

It's not hard to say your reaction defiantly took her by surprise.

You crushed your wicdonalds drink and abruptly got up rushing to the bathroom. Where you proceed to lock yourself in a stall and not come out.

She text you.

" So is that a no *sad face emoji* ?"

You did not answer and after about 20 minutes she got worried and deiced to come into the bathroom after you. She proceed to yell.

" If there is anyone else in this bathroom GET OUT or I'm gonna paint the walls a pretty red with you !!!"

Several denizens clamber quickly out of the bathroom, giving you some privacy.

Velvet walks over to the one stall door that did not immediately swing open. She knocks gently.

"Hey, Hun... you okay in there?" she waits for an answer

You don't reply.

" Look, it's okay if you don't want what we got to change. I get it. But please come out, will ya? " She tells you this in her honeyed voice that makes your heart beat fast.

It's not that you hate the idea of a date... But so much has happened and you just don't want that to happen again with her.

You slowly open the bathroom stall and look at her.

" Look Vel it's not that I hate the idea..."

She gives you a look that says " That is total not how this situation reads and you know it." But she surprisingly remains quite and lets you finish what you were going to say.

"I know, I know... * You look down* The word "date" just scares me... or maybe its all the things that come after and what could happen. So much has gone wrong and I just... * Velvet cuts' you off*

"Babes " She puts her hands on her hips and gives you her trade mark playful grin. " This is me we are talkin bout. You don't gotta be afraid to tell me something is makin you uncomfortable. If you don't wanna do the whole date thing then that's okay. We can still totally hang out as friends."

You look back up at her and give a weak smile.

"Thanks..."

Velvet takes a good look at you and pulls you into a hug.

"I get the feelin this is more of a bother to you then yer lettin on." She gently pats your head. " You don't have to talk about it now, but I am here to listen if you change yer mind."

You are a bit shocked, it is rare to receive moments like this from this spitfire. But she has her days.

You pull back and give a more whole hearted smile.

"Thanks Vel."

" No Probs Bobs ! Now !!! Ya wanna go cause some chaos ?!?! Cause like this place has so totally gotten boring !!!" Velvet early pulls you along and out of the bathroom.

As you leave, you lose yourself a little in thought.

You definitely care for Velvet, she is your bestie... But you can't shake the feeling that there is something more behind what you feel.

A small part of you is actually disappointed that you turned down that date offer. But you are too scared to push the envelope any further with her...

At for right now.

You have got a lot to work through and you know that no matter what happens this crazy chick has got your back. So you decide to sit on your thoughts and feels until you are ready to unpack them with her.

This could totally wait, destroying shit with your main squeez was much more important. At least it would offer a good distraction.

You weren't quite ready to tackle all the things that came after "date"

You felt so defeated just thinking about all your romantic tragedies in the past. All the scares you "lovers" left on you. They were people you thought were safe, people you had given you love to willingly only to be stabbed in the back.

To be fair this was hell, and everyone had some sort of angle... it was foolish to think that hippieness was even a possibility down here.

But she made you happy... didn't she? She made your heart flutter with anticipation and delight every time she was near did she not?

These thought kept running through your head throughout the night .

Velvet could tell your heart just wasn't in it because your head was somewhere else.

After blowing up a few things and sharing some half hearted giggles. She opted to take you back to her place suggesting that the two of you could watch some movies.

You both settled in with some popcorn and a punch of snacks.

Velvet hoped the relaxing change of pace would set your mind at ease but your demeanor remained ever the same.

She decided to take a chance and bring up the subject again.

" Hey hun... you still seem really bothered. You wanna talk about it." She sounded so genuine and sweet.

You couldn't look her in the eyes, so instead you look out the window and just said " I'm good Vel, just lost in my own thoughts... Sorry if I am bringing down the mood... Maybe I should just go home."

"I know you are really bein bugged by somethin, its written like all over your face. Please tell me. Maybe I can help. " She proceeded to rest her head in your lap and lightly booped your nose.

You smiled down at her with a sigh.

Figuring it was probably best to just tell her what was wrong because she definitely wouldn't leave you alone about it and she was just gonna keep asking.

So you proceeded to awkward spill your guts to your best friend and she listened patiently.

When you were done explaining your past with relationships and the fear they had left you with because of the hurt you felt, she understandably looked pissed.

In turn you looked a little nervous down at her.

" I am not mad at you bunny, I AM Mad that someone would dare hurt you so badly, a few someone's !!! That is Just Totally not COOL!!!"

You giggled a little at her action, but could not help the tears that were slowly trickling down your face.

Never did you think you would ever get to take the weight of how you felt off your chest. Yet here you were being vulnerable.

Velvet softy wiped your tears and pulled you into a warm hug letting you just cry it out as you needed to.

You were scared of the word "date" because you were scared of the love that came with it if things went well.

She couldn't say she completely understood, usually if someone broke her heart she would just rip out there's, but you were not her and she got that you just handled things differently.

Gently she let you out of the hug and told you.

" I really like you as a friend and no matter what happens I want us to always stay friends. So, if ya eva change yer mind about the whole dating shabang and wanted to try it with me, I want us to be open and talk about how we feel. IF things ain't working out we can always go back to being friends cause I would rather have you in my life as a friend then like not at all."

She hugs you again and cheerily says " Oh and I am SO Totally murdering your ex's !!! No one hurts my bestie and gets away with it !!! "

You laugh and feeling better, you both proceed to spend the rest of the night just watching movies.

Valentino

He wasn't exactly know for liking commitment.

You haven't the slightest clues as to how you ended up in a long term relationship with Valentino.

Typically he would just take what he wanted and throw whoever out when he had his fill of fun with them.

But for whatever reason, that was not the case with you.

But weeks turned into months and he was showing no signs of wanting to get rid of you.

You fully expected to just have a little fling with him and figured even if you were just gonna get dumped in the end at least you could have some fun and milk the situation for what it was worth.

Which of course put you in a very awkward (some might say dangerous) situation because You did not like the idea of getting attached to him.

Yet that is exactly what was happening.

You were beginning to fall for one of the worst people in Hell to do that with.

It would be light to say, that this fact down right terrified you because the deeper and deeper your affections got for him the closer to love you came.

You didn't want to love him ! You didn't want to love anyone Ever Again !!!

This realization of yours made interactions with Val slowly become more stiff and unpleasant as you got more annoyed at these growing feelings.

He began to notice your shift in mood towards him.

The both of you were in one of his clubs.

"Baby, what's got you all wound up~" he asks you in his sweet and seductive tone.

You don't look at him, you just proceed to roll your eyes and huff out in annoyance.

" This show is almost over Sweets, I see your annoyed we can go anywhere you want after this." he plants quick kiss behind your ear and pulls you into his lap.

He chuckles at your little display and tactfully, tip-toes his hands around your shoulder and arm pulling you close. Whispering in your ear.

You promptly pull away and squirm your way out of his lap, crossing your arms you turn your back on him.

This clearly pisses Valentino off. If there is one thing he hates it is certainly being ignored. Especially when he is being so sweet.

When it is over he quickly gets up and despite still being mad he offers you his hand.

His face visibly sours and the two of you sit in awkward silence for the last few minutes of the show.

You don't really look at him, but you take his hand and allow him to help you stand up anyway.

The two of you walk back to his limo and when the door shuts you both in, is when he begins his questions.

" Your being a real Bitch babe? Were you that unhappy with bein there ? You could have just said you didn't want to go with me ya know ! "

His sweet tones have all but faded into heavy annoyance.

" I don't really feel like talking about it... Can you just take me home... Please. " You don't look at him at all, you just stare out the window like the scene passing by is so interesting.

He cracks his car side window a little and takes a long drag from his cigarette, puffing out the smoke in wafts. He grits his teeth and curtly answers.

" Fine. Babe. I'll take ya home." He gives a knock to the upfront driver and his limo drops you off right in front of your house.

You proceed to not answer Any of his calls or texts for the next couple of weeks.

In response Valentino begins to send you gifts, and you send each of them right back.

This goes on for about a month and he finally caves, furiously annoyed that you won't accept anything from him or answer any of his calls or texts.

One night you hear a knocking on your door. You have no idea who the hell would want to see you at this time of night and you couldn't care to get up and check.

You hear the knockings again this time louder and more frantic.

You rise with an annoyed groan " I'm Coming, I'm Coming hold your horses !"

Leaning your head against the door you let out a sigh. And slowly open it, letting him in and closing it behind him.

Looking through the peep hole you see a much less extravagant version of Val standing there with a bouquet of flowers.

Very uncharacteristically weak Val say " I brought you flowers..."

It is very clear he doesn't know what to say and he seems a little afraid to say anything. There are bags under his eyes and it looks like he very clearly has not been sleeping well.

You take some pity on him and gently take the flowers " Thanks"

He follows you as you look for something to put them in.

You pull out a vase and place the floral bouquet in them.

" Look... I... Uh... I'm s-sorry. " it is very clear that the phrase sorry is not something that comes naturally to Valentino.

" I don't exactly know what the hell I did, if it's cause I called I called you a bitch...You were acting pretty cold for no damn reason.. I just... " You listen tentatively.

" Things were goin so well and then you started acting all weird..." His tone is a mix of sadness and anger, intense yet dull all at the same time.

" Then you fuckin ghost me, wont answer my calls and you've rejects all the crap I sent you... I don't get it !!! What the hell did I do wrong? "

He gets down on his knees so he is eye level to you.

" Please... Tell me what went wrong ?" You can see clearly the desperation in his eyes.

" I love you... I can't... I don't wanna lose you... "

Without noticing tears being to slip past your eyelids. You shakily reply.

"Y-you can't Love me !!!" You look him in the eyes with a fearful look filling the pools of your.

He surprises you, with tenderness you did not know he was capable of as he gently pulls you close to him with his lower arms and wipes your tears with the top set.

" Why can't I ?" Val looks you in the eyes and you recognize the look he is giving you because it is the same one you are giving him.

He is just as afraid and vulnerable as you are in this moment.

You pull him into a hug and when you pull away you help him up and gently guide him to your bedroom, sitting him down on the bed.

The two of you begin to talk it out, you spend hours just letting your walls down in conversation.

You learn that he often guards his heart so closely because love and loss have left him so jaded, but when he is with you he doesn't feel like there are any expectations and it just feels natural.

In turn you tell him that your past relationships have left you afraid to ever love someone again, and despite the way he is someone you started to love him too.

When your confessions are done and no more word are shared between you, you both decide to meld into each other for the night. Sharing your bed, you spend a night of passion and for that time you allow yourself to feel nothing but.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin velvet #hazbin vox #hazbin valentino #vox x reader #velvet x reader #valentino x reader #hazbin x reader #hazbin hotel vivziepop #x reader

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honeyrisuke · 2 years

Text

hi I’d like to make a nonsense list about stuff americans have said to me with their whole chest to keep this on public record. I’m not listing anything that’s just xenophobic or whatever, just things that are “very american” to do and imo kinda funny this is just in the order in which I remember it, not by relevance. i also probably will have stuff to add later.

said the slur for romani people in a sentence with their full chest and then went “I only recently learned that’s a slur for rumanian people”, and when I corrected it to “romani”, he said “no, correct english is rumanian”

asked me if I like Kraft Mac and Cheese and when I said I didn’t because I prefer to make cheese sauce myself started a whole argument about me being bougie despite the fact that a box of kraft mac and cheese costs like 5 euros in my country

told me about his italian heritage and when I tried to explain that theres a difference between him having the vague notion of what italy is and someone living in italy and living the culture are two entirely different things, he practically yelled at me that his grandma would make spaghetti with meatballs for him. I then proceeded to send him sources proving that thats not an italian dish, but specifically an AMERICAN-italian dish, and he threw a tantrum and blocked me for two weeks for insulting his “culture”

heard me say “gesundheit” in my native german dialect and corrected my pronounciation, adding “that’s how the germans say it”

bragged about their parents being in the US military and that, while they were stationed in germany, they didn’t give a fuck about several laws, as if this was a fun and cool tale to tell. When I spoke up about how I actually think the laws they broke (killing of local wildlife, to be specific) were important and I think that’s very scummy, I was told to “not be so boring”

heard me explain that street slang in germany has nothing to do with american racial understanding and is instead mostly about social class and language barrier, I was told to educate myself on the history of slavery. When I told them my homecountry doesn’t have the same history of slavery as the US, they doubled down on the statement, saying I was simply not educated.

accused a person living in the phillipines of being racist against asian people and perpetuating cultural appropriation against asians by drawing a white coded character in traditional asian garments. they claimed the garments were chinese. the phillipino corrected them and pointed out that they are traditional clothes from the phillipines. when the phillipino person mentioned literally being from the country, the american person brought up being quarter chinese and facing discrimination, and would not back down about asian people being an oppressed minority. When pressed about how thats only an issue in the US and has no place in an international server, and how phillipinos are not a minority in the phillipines, where the artist was from, they called all of us racist white people and left. The phillipino person was royally confused for the rest of the day.

mentioned how they liked the designs of the “christmas fairies” in Klaus, I explained how those aren’t fairies, they are Sami, the indigenous people of finland. I was then harshly berated about how theres no indigenous people in europe, and calling white people indigenous would be highly racist

as I said, I might add to this lol

#opinion #im just word vomiting this out bc it needs to leave my brain

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drwcn · 3 years

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Hi! I hope you are doing okay with all the discourse going around. Im white and raised in a very white society so i will never have a say in it, but i was wondering, is there any way i can educate myself more in asian/chinese culture? Im aware i consume content thru western lens and because of that i dont really get all the nuances of the shows, but i would like to have at least some backround. Im guessing just watching the shows doesnt give enough of that, can you maybe reccommend some blogs or books to check out? (If you dont thats totally fine and im sorry if i said anything offensive)

Hey friend! Not offensive at all, no worries. Honestly, I’m not too sure. I think just keeping an open mind about things is a really good start. I’m not really sure which blogs to recommend but if I could recommend some dramas? Since it’s probably easier to watch a show then read a book?

《The Story of Minglan》 is a good one to sort of parse out the intricacy of historical Chinese society in the Song Dynasty, keeping in mind that different dynasties have different practices, so even amongst different time periods there were differences. 《The Story of Yanxi Palace》 is another good one for Qing Dynasty (circa 1740s) if you wanna get into imperial harem stuff. (Or you can watch 《甄嬛传》 or 《如懿传》 for harem stuff. I just think The Story of Yanxi Palace is the most palatable, most aesthetic, and most fun out of the three. The other two are kinda tragic?) There are other dramas but I feel they’re not as... accessible?

Chinese historical dramas come in 3 flavours: serious dramas, idol dramas, and those that ride the fence. What I mean by idol drama is...everyone in it is young and hot and the writing is eh and the acting is eh. More often then not there’s a lot of modern elements to it. The Untamed is so popular because it’s idol drama done really well. (xianxia and wuxia genre used to be more quality when I was a kid, but now they’re kind of ehhhh.) I would say Minglan and Yanxi are both successful because they ride the fence.

On the other hand, serious historical drama has A LOT of politics and can be quite dry especially if you’re watching it through half-assed subtitles. The actors typically are more seasoned, older. People jokingly say that idol drama is what mom watches and serious drama is what dad watches, and honestly given my parents’ tv habits...it’s pretty accurate 😂.

Some really well known ones from the past 20 years are:

The 《铁齿铜牙纪晓岚》 series 1-4. I would only recommend part 1-2, 3-4 are not as great. This one has quite a bit of humour but it might fly over your head a bit because of the language barrier. The story surrounds a well known government official and scholar named Ji Xiaolan 纪晓岚, his frenemy and colleague the (EXTREMELY corrupt) prime minister He Shen, and the Emperor Qianlong. For better or worse these three are depicted as both liege and subjects as well as friends. Trying to see Ji Xiaolan and He Shen one up each other while Qianlong tries to balance his court and rule the country is quite interesting. I won’t pretend this is an easy series to follow, but it’s actually quite fun.

《汉武大帝》 - is about Hanwu Emperor of the Han Dynasty circa 150 BC? He’s one of the most famous emperors of distant history. It’s basically about the course of his life and the many people that featured in it.

《大明王朝》- my memories of this one is very vague, but it is about the Ming Dynasty (the dynasty before the Qing Dynasty c. 1500,1600.)

《The Advisors Alliance 军事联盟》- 2017 two-part television series based on the life of Sima Yi, a government official and military general who lived in the late Eastern Han dynasty and Three Kingdoms period of China. circa 150 AD.

As a side note, a lot of serious dramas for a while now have been focused on the Qing Dynasty, just because it’s the last imperial dynasty before Imperial China fell into decline, WWI and WWII ravaged the country and communism happened. Even a lot of idol drama are about the Qing Dynasty (I feel like I should do a post about this, just to string things together haha).

So for the Qing Dynasty, because they are Manchurian, their last name is Aisin Gioro or in Chinese Aixin Jueluo 爱新觉罗. Their earlier emperors are much more well known than their later ones and have been the focus of MANY dramas. (You’ll notice their names in the beginning spell very different than the Chinese names you’re used to, but once they take over China, the emperors’ names start to become more and more mainland Chinese and less and less Manchurian.)

Nu’er Hachi 努尔哈赤/ Nurhaci - The granddaddy of Qing Dynasty, but was never officially Emperor of China during his life time.

Huang Taiji 皇太极 - Nurhaci’s oldest son. He led the campaign against the Ming Dynasty but died before the campaign was over

Fulin 福林, Emperor Shunzhi 顺治 - Huang Taiji’s 9th son. He is the real first Emperor of the Qing Dynasty. His uncle Duo’Ergun 多尔衮/ Dorgon was his regent as well as his commander-in-chief. Dorgon was the one who won the war against the Ming Dynasty and instated his nephew as the Emperor. Fulin was 6 years old when this happened, and now you may wonder why the fuck is that? It’s because Fulin’s mother, Huang Taijii’s widowed concubine Consort Zhuang (name: pu’erji-jite bumubutai (pinyin) 博爾濟吉特布木布泰/ Bumbutai Borjigit, Da-Yu’er 大玉儿) remarried her brother-in-law Dorgon. Whether Bumbutai and Dorgon were actually in love is....contestable. Certainly one of my favourite serious dramas that depict this part of history is《大青风云》.

Xuanye 玄燁, Emperor Kangxi 康熙 - Fulin’s third son. Very famous. Very long reign. Serious drama associated 《康熙微服私访记》，《康熙王朝》

Yinzhen 胤禛, Emperor Yongzheng 雍正 - Xuanye's 4th son. His reign was highly contested because some ppl believed he forged the succession document. It’s probably not true. He was an efficient emperor but very austere, very severe. Not well liked. The best serious drama about him is probably 《雍正王朝》and the aforementioned《甄嬛传》. The former is 100% politics and a fictional re-telling of historical events whereas the latter is 100% harem drama and 100% made up. 《步步惊心》is an idol drama about a girl who transmigrated back to this time and fell in love with Yinzhen. Lol.

Hongli 弘历, Emperor Qianlong 乾隆 - Yinzhen’s 4th son. I think he’s the longest living/reigning emperor of Chinese history. SOOOOO many dramas were made about him or set in his reign. Of the serious drama category: 《铁齿铜牙纪晓岚》 that I mentioned earlier is really good. There are others but I won’t name them here. 《如懿传》 is a serious drama about his harem, but really terrible? I really didn’t like it (just my personal view). Incidentally it was released around the same time as《The Story of Yanxi Palace 延禧攻略》which is also about his harem and MUCH better in my opinion, because the actor for Hongli in Yanxi is much better skills-wise. 《还珠格格》was the OG idol drama about Hongli’s children. I gave a brief synopsis about it here. It was made in the 90s but damn...so nostalgic.

There’s many more emperors after him, but they’re not as important.

Okay yeah, so I’m not sure if any of this is really helpful, but definitely watching serious drama gives you much better context and understanding of Chinese culture than idol drama. I mean when the drama has flying and magic...the historical relevance sort of falls to the side. 🤣

ADDENDUM: I made a typo earlier. Fulin is Huang Taiji’s 9th son, not Nurhaci’s son. Also Abahai is Huang Taijii’s mother’s name (wikipedia lied to me on this one XD).

#culture #Anonymous #corie replies #recs

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syscoursehell · 2 years

Note

I should preface this with mentioning that I've recently been diagnosed with DID (which is not an easy process in my country, seeing how the wait times for any mental health related things here are ridiculous, let alone more specialized stuff). Should also mention that English is not my first language. And finally, should note that I'm relatively new to the online System/DID spaces because of this language barrier, that I do not nearly identify as a System despite having clear parts and amnesia (they are all parts of me after all, and the label of system does not make much sense in my native language), and that my experiences may differ wildly from those of other people.

So with all that laid out like that, my question would be: If someone who doesn't have DID says that they experience having "multiple personality/people" within their consciousness, and also says that it isn't because of DID/trauma, what makes this so harmful? Since entering online English speaking spaces for DID, I have come across this a lot. What I see a lot of is that it's spreading misinformation about DID. But how can you spread misinformation about a disorder that you say you don't have? Wouldn't it be *more* harmful to say that you have DID if you didn't? I honestly think some kids are doing just this because they feel pressured to be "real". And to me people lying about having a serious disorder is far worse than saying that you experience something you say is not that disorder.

Now again, I don't think people who don't have DID (or I guess other similar disorder?) do not have alters or parts. That is not possible. But what I do think is plausable is that someones mind uses information differently and forms these kinds of personas, because it helps them just deal with the world? Or you can have someone with a very active imagination, or you can have delusions (which you should check out), or it can be spiritual. None of these cases (except delusions) have to be a disorder. None of them are DID. But these people can still talk about their experiences and label them somehow without it immediately being a danger to other people in my opinion? It's not what my mind is doing, their experience is different from people with DID. But I also just do not understand how it's harming me or anyone else.

When "endogenics" enter spaces for people with actual disorders, they should be called out for it. When kids who don't have DID try to say that they do, that's also bad and they should be called out. But if someone is experiencing something completely different that I do not understand and that has nothing to do with me, I just can't be bothered to care. So I really dont get going after endos just for the sake of it.

hey there! your english is great, don't worry about it! even as a native speaker, i have trouble with it sometimes.

congratulations on your diagnosis! that's amazing that you were able to achieve that!

thats 10000000% understandable. i think the whole "system side of social media" is a bit north-american-centric, and if you have the disorder you are not obligated to participate in that side of social media unless you want to. i participate in it because it gave me a sense of community, but do whatever feels natural for you.

you can absolutely spread misinformation on things you don't have. the movie "split", the documentary "Monsters Inside: 24 Faces of Billi Milligain", and the show "United States of Tara" have done that to the point that people believe the things that they show in those pieces of media. "Split" made us out to be monsters with one superhuman, murderous alter. "Monsters Inside" also made us look like we're all monsters, especially by the way they portrayed alters and the system shown not taking full responsibility for the actions of another in their system, which is a huge deal. and then "United States of Tara" is deeply upsetting for the way they portray Tara and her system, and how people in her life treat her and her system.

i agree that someone lying about having this disorder is a huge deal. and people who are pressured into saying they are systems is something that does happen in endo spaces. some users have come out and said that they weren't a system, the endo community just convinced them that they were.

the problem arises when people conflate their experiences with systemhood, or having DID/OSDD-1. we have psychosis, but we'd never claim that that's part of what makes us a system. i encourage people to talk about their mental health and their disorders in spaces where they feel comfortable, but the problem is that these things are not what makes a system.

i get where you're coming from, but the problem is that the endo community has a long history of ableism and trying to push people with DID/OSDD-1 out of system spaces. back in the 90s, there were the "Empowered multiples" who believed themselves to not have DID/OSDD-1, and then would target people who do have this disorder and tell them that they shouldn't identify with having a disorder. they also spread the false narrative that one can be "born multiple", which isn't the case. yes, while we all have separate identity states until they fuse into one identity (and that interruption and forming of alters is what happens with trauma, and thus becomes DID/OSDD-1), but that does not make for alters. that means that one is just... a kid, their brain developing like anyone else's.

another thing that the endo community tries to push is the idea of "creating" or "forcing" alters. this is not how alters work. one can't just make one out of thin air on a whim, and if you create an imaginary friend, it doesn't mean you have a system.

i'm not "going after endos for the sake of it". here's the thing; i once identified as endo, and used to be in endo spaces. we called ourselves a "multiple system" and didn't identify as traumagenic. but the more research i did, the more i realized what we're actually experiencing is DID, an inherently trauma-based disorder. what i'm trying to do is talk about how their community has harmed the DID/OSDD-1 community. they've tried to push us out of spaces we've created, discouraged people from getting help/therapy, encouraged manipulative practices such as "system hopping" (which doesn't exist), and done insane damage to systems who later got away from their community and got to therapy. the endo community is harmful, and spreads misinformation on being a system and then turning around and saying that we who have DID/OSDD-1 and are not part of the community are somehow oppressing them, and are the "bigots" of the community despite trying to show research proving that this disorder stems from trauma. the endo community is inherently manipulative, even if singular members are not.

i hope this made sense. good luck if you're pursuing recovery, and if not, just good luck in general!

#syscourse #system discourse #traumagenic #actuallytraumagenic #syscourse blog #i'm also learning another language #so its no worries! english is hard. learning languages is hard

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argumentl · 3 years

Text

The Freedom of Expression, radio version - Ep 47, August 2016 - Hierarchy in groups/bands, the language barrier overseas.

Kaoru starts by commenting on how the Summer is getting towards the end, and Joe asks him what type of things he considers typical Summer stuff, for example swimming in the sea etc. Kaoru says he did actually go to Okinawa recently, and went to take a look at the beach, but thats it, he didn't go in the sea. When he got there, he could smell the stench of tanning oil coming from the other beach goers, so he left pretty soon. He says he didn't go in the sea because he always thinks, 'If I go in, what am i gonna do about my wet feet after I come out?'.

Tasai joins them for the Tokyo Sports corner next, with some news from the comedy world for his first story. This relates to the comedy duo Nippon Elekitel Rengo (Joe has no idea who they are, not owning a tv, but Kaoru knows of them). The duo originally lived together in the city of Higashiyamurayama before getting their big break, due to not having a lot of money. But they have now moved into separate places after making it big, due to the danger of disbanding if the continued living together. The duo, Nakano and Hashimoto, had followed a specific lifestyle at home. Nakano, being the one who wrote all the comedy skits, imposed the rule that because she did all the writing, Hashimoto had to do all the house work. Not just cooking and cleaning etc, but even as far as laying out Nakano's futon each night, and passing her the tv remote. It was as if there was a hierarchy in their relationship. Tasai asks what Kaoru thinks of the arrangement. Does he see any similarities when writing music? Kaoru says it depends on the amount of people involved. With just 2 people its too easy for one of them to end up feeling like they are the brains. He doesn't really feel this in music, because the people who play the song also put their feelings into it/leave their mark on it. Tasai says that this should apply to Hashimoto too, because she was playing the parts that Nakano wrote. Kaoru repeats that for a group with only two members living together, its too easy to fall into this cycle. If two more members entered the group, it might throw this pattern off course a bit.

Joe says he once interviewed a particular band which had one member who wrote the songs (whereas the other members did no writing). The song writer said that although he may sometimes feel like he leads the band, he also sometimes gets into song-writing slumps. It is at these 'slump' times that he realises that although he writes the songs, it is the other members who complete them. Its easy to feel like you are the brains behind the whole thing when you are having a good day, but its those slump days that remind you how much you depend on the other members. Kaoru responds to this by saying 'I'm forever in slump mode'. The others laugh, Tasai exclaiming, 'What are you talking about?!'. Returning to serious mode, they agree that this is what being in a band is all about. Joe says a comedy duo should have more of a left/right relationship as opposed to a hierarchical one. Tasai says he wants to ask Nippon Elekitel Rengo about this directly, and hopes they make up.

Tasai's next news story is that the anime school, Yoyogi Animation Academy has recruited as its producers: Akimoto Yasushi (hugely influened record producer for AKB48 etc,), Komuro Tetsuya (also hugely influencial producer for many artists, including TRF etc), Tsunku (producer of Morning Musume), and Sashihara Rino (of the AKB and HKT groups). Each producer explained in an interview that they each have different methods of sensing a spark in someone, or finding a diamond in the rough etc. Tasai asks Kaoru if he has any experience with this from a producer's standpoint. Kaoru says he hasn't, but upon hearing that these 4 producers had been hired by Yoyogi Animation Academy, he felt no spark at all (the others laugh at this). He doesn't quite understand the point of hiring these 4 people.

Tasai explains that Tsunku in particular had expressed his envy that anime was able to transcend the language barrier and make it big overseas so easily, whereas a lot of his hit songs in Japan could not. Tasai mentions that Dir en grey are very active overseas, and asks Kaoru how he copes with the language barrier. Kaoru says he doesn't think about it. Although communication is important, the purity of what the band wants to express gets a bit lost if they deliberately make songs in a different language. They can express themselves best in Japanese. He says using English is best if you want to make it big overseas, but he didn't start a band with the sole intention of 'making it big'.

Joe brings up the Tokyo based band 'Roth Bart Baron', who do a lot of shows around Europe and Asia, but sing entirely in Japanese. The vocalist/writer for the group speaks fluent English, but uses Japanese to sing because he can most easily express his true emotions in Japanese. In this day and age, people can easily translate lyrics on their computers anyway. Kaoru thinks that if you can easily express your emotions in English, its best to do that overseas, but Japanese has a lot of small nuances, which may be quite difficult to express clearly in English. On the other hand, says Joe, a lot of people who sing in English will tell you that English fits better with the tempo and sound of rock music than Japanese does.

Kaoru brings up his memories of singing along to English songs when he was a school kid, despite not knowing what it meant, so he doesn't really think its such a barrier these days.

They realise this conversation has taken a sharp turn away from the story about the anime school hiring music producers, but then they remember that anime has been massively successful at breaking international barriers, and could hold some lessons for the producers.

Kaoru finishes by reading out a few tour dates from the next two tours. Both tours will end with shows at Namba Hatch. This is because someone who helped Dir en grey out a lot in the early days works there, so they liked to finish in Osaka for that reason.

Songs - Dir en grey/Revelation of Mankind, The Crown/Face of Destruction, Dir en grey/Kyuukoku no kyouon ft. Sugizo.

Back to radio top page

#dir en grey #the freedom of expression #radio

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jordanlahey · 4 years

Text

“A Blast from the Past...” (2/?)

Pairing: Poly!lost boys x Reader

Summary: The boys feast and chase downs local witch coven and it didn’t work out in their favour. Home was home but at the same time it wasn’t.

Warnings: language, innuendos

Word count: 1761

A/N: sorry it too so long I’m just catching up on fics now. Also can we appreciate this gif of Paul and Dwayne? 😍

"So you're telling me you are really from 1987 and some witch got mad at you and you came here is a cloud of red?" I repeated what david had told me, trying to make sense of it all, it didn't quite seem real but then again they are vampires and I have powers so what even is real anymore? I stay quiet trying to think of something anything.

"Don't forget we ate the witches whole coven." Paul chimed in, he seemed to be so proud about it but he just seems like a happy-go-lucky guy.

"What if I could help you find a way to get back? I'm not sure if I really count myself a witch per se but I can try find something?" I suggest, it's not the best idea but it's worth a shot. The boys all looked at each other seeming like they were having a silent conversation between the four of them.

"What's in it for you? Why do you want to help?" David lit another cigarette, blowing the smoke out as he leaned back into his chair. If was a fair question, what is in it for me? Nothing I'm just trying to help but was there really a need for me to answer?

"I can't think of anything at the top of my head. I mean while you are all sleeping during the day I can do something to keep unwanted visitors away so that another incident like earlier doesn't happen again?" Another silence in the room, I could sense that they were uncomfortable talking about anything in front of me considering we had just met, I would be uncomfortable spilling anything if I couldn't trust someone. I pull out my phone to heck the time it was nearly 5am and the sky was starting to brighten.

"Hey what's this thing?" My phone was snatched out of my hands by Paul as he eyed my phone, Shaking it, tapping it and putting it up to his mouth trying to talk to it like a walkie talkie.

"Hey give that back!" I jump to my feet and try to get it from him but he holds it above me so that I can't reach it. "Paul give it back!" He threw my phone to Marko as he did the same, I ran towards him then he flew up into the sky "that's not fair! Marko please!" I could tell David and Dwayne were amused buy this as I run between the two blonds.

It went on for a good few minutes however, Paul had landed in front of the entrance to the cave and the sun was just away to illuminate the cave. "Paul! Look out!" I run towards him again this time knocking him out the way of the sun rays, the rest of the boys hid where the rays wouldn't effect them but they were still in the same area as you and Paul. In other circumstances I wouldn't have been awkward at all but since I'm lying on top of the blond vampire it was more that awkward. Paul looked at me and wiggles his eyebrows at me causing me to roll my eyes at him and go try and get off of him.

"You're welcome for saving your ass being turned into a pile of ash." I huffed "now go, dont worry I'll keep anyone out of here in the mean time." With that they all crawled into a dark hole which I assumed their own sleeping space. If I'm being honest I hadn't even slept yet, I'm sure they wouldn't mind if I napped on the sofa? I would go to the small bed that I mentioned earlier but they tensed when I spoke about it.

Before I head off to sleep a cast a small little protection barrier to keep people out if they were to come near it would just look like a massive rock on the outside. I cuddle up on the sofa and slowly drift off to sleep.

*****

I slowly awoke from my meant to be nap and I check my phone for the time I knew the boys weren't going to be awake since the sun was still up. It's 1:30pm I some had time to kill, I did plan on going home and getting something to eat maybe charge my phone for a little while before coming back and trying to think of a solution to sending the vamps back to their time. If I'm heading out I'll leave the little barrier up cause if I break my word they'll have my head for sure.

I headed to my home and greet my grandmother but she seems to be with a client at the moment so I leave her be and head up to my room to grab my computer and some spell books. I know it's cliche. My grandmother and I run a smoll café shop near the boardwalk, as well as a place to eat it's also a place for visitors or open minded people to come get a reading etc and we even sell small things like crystals, sage, candles etc all the good witchy stuff.

"Y/n, you were out late I didn't hear you come in." My grandmother startled me, I sigh in relief.

"I stayed at a friends house sorry about that, hey you may be able to help me." My grandmother looked at me and smiled. "How does time travel work? Are there any spells for it?" I chew the bottom of my lip, hoping she won't as me about why I'm asking her this to be honest she's smart and she knows all kinds of magic. However, she looked at me sympathetically.

"Oh honey, I know what this is about." Now I'm the one confused. "You want to time travel to stop what happened to your parents I know, but you can't change the past and if you do then you'll have to sacrifice something in return and suffer the consequences." She was way off I know this already i can't change the past but I need to send the boys back to their time, thats the same as time travel right?

"What about spells to send people back in time. Like to their time?" This stuff is confusing as heck.

"Why would you want to know something like that, honey?"

"I...it's for a book I'm writing about spells, I'm just curious." I am a terrible liar and she can see right through me. "Grandma, you are the smartest witch I know please tell me." She looked at me and I could see the cogs turning in her head if I wanted to I could tap into her mind as see what she knows.

"That isn't going to work sweetie, a witch always has a block on her mind so that no other beings can read them and I'm terribly sorry but there is no spell for that and there never has been." With that she leaves my room back down to the shop where she probably has customers waiting. I sigh in annoying. Bullshit. If there was no spell then how did the vamps get here there is always a counterspell. Nothing is ever permanent.

I finish grabbing all the books and my laptop then head downstairs to go back to the cave, it's 3:15pm the sun doesn't go down till 7ish this gave you roughly 4 hours to find a solution or do something else but you'd rather head back to the cave and keep watch there's no doubt gonna be some people poking around there and you have the best job in the world. Being a guard dog for a bunch of vampires.

Back at the cave you, sat down on 'David's' chair and proceeded to look through all the books you had about magic and spells, there had to be something here. Your nose was too buried in the books you failed to notice how quick time went by and still no sign of a counter-spell. Your book was snatched from your hands, startling you and you tried to calm your breathing as Paul flipped through the book and turning it every which way to understand the text. Which was stupid it was in perfect English probably words he isn't familiar with god bless.

"How long have you been reading the Mumbo jumbo? It's basically snoozefest." He tossed the book on the ground near the others and went flicking the through them all.

"I wouldn't expect you to understand and I've been looking through them for 3 hours maybe?" You answered, picking up the book you were trying to read.

"Really that eager to get rid of us?" Your eyes shot you the platinum blonde, he smirked at you as he walked towards you causing you to walk back into the wall.

"N-no." You swallowed thickly. "Last time I checked you wanted to go back home." You tried to rid your voice of any insecurity, probably failing miserably. David leaned closer to you.

"Last time I told you that's my seat." He stepped away from you and sat in HIS seat.

"It's not like you were using it." You huffed and muttered under your breath, this made him smirk more. "Paul could you stop tossing my books around please."

"I'm bored." Paul whined then latched himself onto you then Marko joined in.

"Let's have some fun, ayy Paul?" You looked between the two blondes as the face you a smirk and you broke out of their grips.

"Woah woahh woahh! And Don't look at me like that." You warned as you backed away from the group of vampires.

"Like what?" Marko pouted, you mentally cursed yourself and huffed.

"I'm not food! I probably don't taste good anyway so no biting I mean it." You warn again mostly at the two blondes who were sharing knowing glances.

"How would we know if you taste bad if we don't try it." You backed away from the boys then ran behind dwayne who was just watching, using him as a shield from the 2 blondes. "Like he's gonna help."

"Stay back! I have a Dwayne and I'm not afraid to use him!" This caused the boys to erupt with laughter.

"You're adorable." Marko laughed, you pouted and rolled your eyes.

"Come on you four, I bet you are all hungry anyway let's find you something to eat." You nod time the exit of the cave.

#the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #the lost boys fanfiction #the lost boys headcanon #the lost boys imagine #the lost boys x reader #david the lost boys #dwayne the lost boys #lost boys x reader #marko the lost boys #paul the lost boys #the lost boys paul #the lost boys david #the lost boys dwayne #the lost boys marko #poly!lost boys x reader #poly!lost boys

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

Note

Hello fellow Jikooker and a brave one i must mention. I am proud of u and any other Jikooker like u if they exist. I like how u handle hate asks and not take it personally. I know it can be hard sometimes but keep doing what u doing and people will eventually may be learn to f..k off

Now for my ask Do u think people are taking cultural context to another level just to cancel some Jikook moments because i am also Asian (not from Korea) and i understand their culture as its somewhat similar to mine and may be men here are not like in western countries and express themselves freely even though physical touches but we should remember that regardless even men here will not suck on each others ears. Korean culture is Conservative culture so it has limits forsure. If we compare physical language of men of korea to that of any western counrty it will be different but its not like men in korea or in Asia go on sucking each other ears. Slapping butt, holding hands, sitting on each others laps, or touching genital area jokingly can be seen and let me remind u even men in western countries do this but may be not in a shopping mall or at a wedding party lol but if its a friends gathering everyone does stupid things and i have witnessed it with my own eyes.. i live in US so i can kind of differentiate in this aspect. I just want to say Jikook is real and people will be regretting so much when or if they ever come out. But take my word for it. Being a part if both worlds i can see it.. what do u think about this whole situation ?

Psst. Cultural context my ass!

That's some gay for your ass. Right there in 4k! Right infront of cultural context's salad.

It's 2021. Cultural shock won't cut it. They need to hang it up. FLAT SCREEN!

Fact of the matter is, there are rainbows in South Korea in spite of their conservative culture. In spite of their skinship and fanservice culture. In spite of it all!

Dismissing Jikook on the grounds of culture just doesn't cut it anymore. Their culture does not bar them from being gay.

How can people view BigHit as an unorthodox, unconventional company distinct from corporate Korea in that they have a tendency to pander to the west and acknowledge that their modules and methods fundamentally deviate from traditional Korean business modules; but then in the same breath fail to see how this same company and its entities within it, in order to be part of the international community, allows themselves to be influenced and socialized by international culture in one form or the other.

I mean it's subtle but it's there. It's in the donations to Black Lives matter, declaring a stan on it, apologizing for the cultural and racial insensitivities, apologizing for sampling Jim Jones, delivering key notes at the UN, pushing for recognition and inclusivity in the US music industry and awards, the English in their songs, the English subtitles, overtly participating in international culture- but then suddenly when it comes to LGBTQ plus issues people think BigHit and BTS are deaf, blind, retrogressive, socially unwoke or unaware of it, conservative about it in the way most Kpop companies are, and a bit blind to the fact they hold so much influence and political power social wise and merely appropriate queer culture and draw on queer aesthetics to depoliticize queerness and marginalize a huge fraction of their fanbase.

So which is it? Is BigHit woke or not? Are they international or not? Are they tailoring themselves to fit into the international community through awareness or not?

It's really discombobulating. I swear to God.

I think people need to pay attention to what is going into BigHit and BTS's socialization.

Besides, love is a universal language. It transcends race. It transcends culture and language. It transcends people and systems. If Jikook are in love with eachother what has their culture got to do with it?

A Korean couple in America will still be acknowledged and viewed as a couple based on their behavior alone in spite of their culture or knowledge of it.

Why can't a gay couple be recognized outside of their culture?

Closeted gay couples living in South Korea claim they live in constant fear that people may recognize them as a couple when they walk down the street. I'm sorry, but why would they harbor such fears if their culture excuses gayism? If it's skinship is a normal thing to do in south Korea?

They fake injuries and slip their hands in each other's pockets so people will not notice them holding hands- if it's normal for men to hold hands why would people think these men are gay just by them holding hands?

Why at all did Tae and JK think Jimin was gay in their early days?

I get that cultural differences can act as a barrier sometimes especially to new fans and people who aren't oriented with Kpop culture or cultures outside of their own but education bridges that gap. It's been 7 years of Bangtan, ignorance of their culture is no longer an excuse.

Their President and Culture ministry isn't applauding them because they are stifling awareness to their culture. If anything they are spreading the Korean culture, inviting the world to participate in their culture through experience and education. They are teaching, explaining, and propagating their culture through their music.

Thats the socialization I mentioned earlier. It goes both ways for BTS and for Army- it's ridiculous then for people to now turn around and scream 'y'all just don't understand their culture.'

Rhetorics like these go against the facts, the statistics, the testaments to BTS's influence on trends and culture and negates the hegemonic power of Kpop or BTS and by extension Kculture.

I mean if you don't know about their culture, learn. You got no excuse not to learn about their culture. But I find the weaponization of the cultural differences that exist between BTS and their international fans, in this context, bonkers. People just like to project their inadequacies onto others. That's what it is.

How can we say Kpop or even the Korean culture is taking over world trends and in the same breath claim people are ignorant of that culture?

There is skinship culture prevalent in South Korea, yes but there is an equally prevalent culture in S.K which is Couple culture.

Skinship does not imply a couple. I keep saying skinship is not the reason Jikook is real. Acting like a couple in love with eachother is why Jikook is real.

I keep saying no one should come at me with the 'they held hands ergo they are a couple' 'they hugged ergo they are a couple.'

If Jikook are not acting like a couple by their culture's definition of 'couple' gay or straight, then they are not a couple. It's as simple as that.

If any member sits on another member's lap, kisses their calf but don't act like a couple outside of this, they are not a couple.

Jikook are queer by every standard.

About that Rosebowl moment, there is some I want to say about it but I'm afraid it's going to disillusion a lot of Jokers and give the Tuktukkers lurking around my blogs ammunition. I'll rather not say.

But that moment right there... peak love for me. PEAK LOVE. JK loves Jimin. Whether people think it's platonic or romantic really doesn't matter to me. He loves Jimin and Jimin loves him back. Very much.

That's what I celebrate.

JIKOOK IS REAL

Signed,

GOLDY

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taechaos · 3 years

Note

Idea series oc sneaking Tae in the house after he had big fight with his father about something (your choice if it's smutty or fluff or angsty) with a peek of a vurberable Tae? Honestly i think he would change the topic as soon as he started it and prob with sex.

Anyway I'm really interest in their family dynamic since I remember don't know if it was in part one or two that you mention they have really religious parents? And seeing how harsh their dad is with Taehyung it have me wondering how is his relationship with the mother and ocs with both parents, despite everything the seem really distant from their kids, maybe thats why Tae and YN find comfort in each other. OC is the first real bond Tae made with someone so maybe that's the reason of his fear of being replaced and his obsession with her, and ocs mother probably don't pay that much attention to her so that's why even after the incident she still want him to be there. At this point I'm just rambling I'm sorry. And this ask is all over the place, started with a request and ended questioning characters life 💀💀. Sorry hehe.

when i read this yesterday i was literally blown away by this like hOLY shit your analysis is so in-depth at first i was like damn do my characters have more than oNE DIMENSION?? WHICH IS RLY FLATTERING BUT I THINK ITS JUST UR WORDS THAT MADE ME SOUND SMART 💀💀💀 the ending is chef's kiss tho made me bust a lung SHFJJD thank you so much for taking the time to write this its honestly so fucking amazing. hopefully u can see more of their family dynamic in this drabble :)

Rays of sunlight slither through the cracks in the blinds of the living room, allowing Taehyung's father enough light to scan the newspaper he holds in his hand, with the musical, happy chirping of mockingbirds filling in the silence. All of these beautiful signs of nature and peaceful rotation of the earth makes Taehyung tense up even more.

The moment he got back home from buying drugs, his father greeted him in monotone with a, "would you sit with me for a moment?" and he hasn't spoken since. The zipperbag in his pocket crinkles every time he shifts in his seat, making him cringe momentarily before he starts nervously fidgeting again.

This is so awkward and yet equivalent to hearing: we need to talk. God, why is he so silent?

Clearing his throat, Taehyung stands just as his father flips a page with a lick of his thumb. "I'm going to my room really quick."

"No."

"Oh." When will his step-mother return? She's his only hope as he sits down while avoiding looking at his father, whose gaze is set on the black and white printed pages.

It's only a minute later when he talks without diverting his gaze.

"Your sister is in her room, researching her major to get a headstart on a typical syllabus."

"Smart," he comments with disinterest and nibbles on his upper lip.

"Taehyung, how was your attendance in college?" he folds the newspaper and curiously peeks at his son, who is doing a poor job at hiding his nerves.

"It was alright–"

"Lying is a sin, son," his movements are aristocratic when he leans his chin on his fist. "Don't lie."

"I'm not," he stammers and his eyes flicker, "it was bad at the beginning of the year, but I fixed it."

His father pinches the bridge of nose where his frames lie. "I love your sister, Taehyung," he sighs and takes off his glasses, "I want her to do well. I've given up on you, but her? She can accomplish great things if you're not there to influence her. You're a bad influence. Are you following me?"

Taehyung nods dumbly with a racing heart before registering his words and shaking his head. "What?" he blurts. "I used to help her with her homework all the time–"

"You were home once every month."

"Just because you didn't see me doesn't mean I didn't see her," he coldly says. That's not entirely accurate, but it is true that he saw you more than he saw his parents before he started living here again. For you.

His father is taken aback, offended as he scoffs, "You avoided me and your mother, and yet have the face to stay in our home?" He stands up and passes the coffee table that was Taehyung's only barrier to hover over him with distance. "I expected so much more from you, but you can't even do the bare minimum. An adult without a stable job, respectable girlfriend, and embarrassing grades. I'm ashamed to have raised such a boy, for I can't even call you a man."

Taehyung abruptly stands but he continues, "If you can't even pay rent, go back to that landfill you came from."

"I have to pay rent to live with my family?" He's livid and his hands shake by his sides; they're taking you away from him because what? He isn't the son they wanted him to be?

"You've made it clear that the only thing keeping you here is my daughter," he blindly points at the closed door of your room, "and you will have to try much harder to see her again. Get your life together, and you can come back."

Taehyung's face is heated with anger from the injustice. "What the fuck?! This is such bullshit; you're kicking me out?"

His father frowns at his language, growling, "Taehyung! I will not let you drag her down that path with you. When you stop destroying everything you touch, I'll gladly let you live here."

Destroy? He hasn't done any harm to anyone—especially not you. He knows he's self-destructive, but it doesn't extend to his environment. If he fails, it's his failure, but his father takes it personally instead of encouraging him to do better.

The importance of reputation and success in this family enrages him; he's aware that he's not much of an affectionate person either, but a little love wouldn't hurt to witness in the household.

Instead of defending himself or speaking his mind, he obliges bitterly.

"You need to get laid," are his last words before he slams the door and opens the zipper bag to pop a pill. Ecstasy isn't so fun when you're not around, but he can use the distraction. It's been a bad day.

He flips off a stray cat idling around the garden before casually leaving the property.

—————

Studying isn't fun for you, never has been, never will be. Though you hate every second of it, it does give you something to do to make time pass faster. You've been tutoring yourself about things you'll learn sooner or later anyway, but you guess it doesn't hurt to have to study less when the time comes.

You check the time. It's approaching night at 9 PM, and your father wouldn't protest against a break now, hopefully. He only suggested that you should start studying, but you know what his suggestions really mean.

Do it, or get shamed into doing it with subtle glances.

As if that isn't enough, he constantly checked up on you throughout the day. He wasn't exactly giving you a choice, which irks you.

But that's done and over with, and there's a more pressing matter at hand: where is Taehyung? You heard bits and pieces of the argument, but you couldn't get the whole scoop. You worry he's going to go back to his old habits of never being here, rarely seeing you. He would've been hanging out with you six hours ago out of routine... It can't just be you being clingy. Something happened.

You: are you coming home tonight?

The response takes a few minutes.

taehyung: nop

taehyung: but i am coming to ur room

taehyung: cuz ik u cant sleep without me 😖

You: actually the opposite but ok lol

You: when are you coming

taehyung: whenever u want uwu

You: uwu...?

You: just come before it gets too late

—————

So that was a lie. It's 1 AM and still no word from Taehyung. Okay, maybe you're just being clingy now, but it's unlike him not to be clingy. Maybe he wanted to cool off for a long time after his tak with your step-dad, or simply wanted to hang out with his friends after spending all of his time with you.

That makes sense. What doesn't is the slide of your window and shuffling of your curtains. You instantly sit up in your bed and clutch your blanket closer. You watch a silhouette enter your room as you pick up your limp, your tense muscles relaxing only when you recognize the intruder. You put down the lamp with a click of your tongue, ignoring the relief in your pounding heart.

"Hey," he stupidly grins at you. He looks disheveled, clothes untucked and wrinkled, and from the little light you have, you can see his redshot eyes.

"There's also the door," you remark sassily. "Are you um... high?"

He shrugs and crawls in your bed, dismissive as usual. You both make an effort to keep your voices quiet.

"I talked to mom earlier," you ease into the discussion until he butts in.

"That's great."

You roll your eyes and prop an elbow to look down at him. His head lies on his hands while staring at you, mood strangely upbeat. He's definitely high.

"She was a little sad about something, and I know it involves you. I heard you talking to–" You're interrupted with a lingering peck, a little rough in its force but not unwelcomed.

"I've missed kissing you. Shouldn't you be asleep, by the way?"

Recovering from the unexpected attack, you reply, "It's not that late. I don't have to wake up early."

"You shouldn't ruin your sleep schedule," he tucks a hair strand behind your ear without taking his eyes off of you. "Staying up is hard to stop once you start."

"Yeah, you're a great example," you joke with a quiet giggle. Whispering with him feels intimate in a heart fluttering way. His heart pangs with a feeling he can't put a finger on. "You didn't answer my question."

"Hm?"

"Don't play dumb, I'm really curious. What happened with dad?"

"A lot of things happen with dad," he shrugs, "sometimes we play catch–"

"Taehyung," you give him a pointed look, and he giggles.

"You're right, he'd never play catch with me." He groans as he stretches in your bed before trapping you with his arms on either side of you in one motion. You don't know what he's trying to do, but you watch him above you in amusement. "No offence, but when is your mom not sad when my dad is around?" he laughs with a huff.

"That's rude, Tae," you remark seriously, "she's happy when you're around."

Taehyung's smile falters like yours, his happy guise crumbling when he says, "Are you?"

"Pfft," you roll your eyes, "What do you think? I was up waiting for you."

Ah. That's not a very good influence.

"I'm here now," he whispers, "go to sleep. It's okay, I won't do anything, I know you worked hard today."

You agree with a yawn and nod. But even in your sleepy state, you can read the room—Taehyung is especially attentive of his tone and volume aside from being so tense. "Are you alright?"

"I'm in and on ecstasy," he falls back on his former spot, "I can't not be alright."

"Taehyung, I haven't seen you all day–"

"Yeah, because I didn't want to be here," he looks at you dead in the eye, "and I don't want you to be here."

You blink rapidly, slightly shaking your head in confusion, "What are you saying?"

"Move in with me."

He's met with cold silence, so he persuades persistently, "Don't you want to get away from here? You'll have so much more freedom with me, and I can help you with your assignments and everything. It'll be perfect."

"I— do you... Where?" Taehyung is high and he doesn't know what he's saying is what you believe because this is so out of the blue, so irrational, but he describes it like it's utopia; you are not completely against the idea.

"I have enough money from drug dealing to rent an apartment, and you can tell dad that you want to move out to be like an adult or whatever, that you have a stable job, without mentioning me," he rambles, and his dilated pupils are more noticeable up close; it slightly puts you off.

"Wh-what about mom?"

He scoffs, "If she wants out, she can get her second divorce. Don't worry about them; after all, they're apparently the only real adults here," he relates back to not being worthy of being called a man. You shift away from him little by little. "Just trust me."

The phrase is triggering for you, a reminder of the time you were tricked into trusting him moments before your trauma. "We'll talk about this when you're sober," you meekly say, avoiding eye contact.

A wicked smile grows on his face, "I can't wait, princess."

#idea tae #*cue big time rush theme*#just gotta say this one last time #the analysis was so well written #its honestly a sight for sore eyes 😫

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