#dunno if i love or hate when i can tell where things are going bc i saw similar shit somewhere else

[misticfog]

I was watching let's plays and reaching conclusions

#slay the princess #revolutionary girl utena #rgu #the owl house #toh #currently obsessed with this game #can't verbalise thoughts properly #i forgot how to spell exist #autocorrect saving my life rn #it's midnight and i didn't sleep last night sorry #i saw 'ch III the thorn' and was like lmao like in the owl house and then it really went that way #dunno if i love or hate when i can tell where things are going bc i saw similar shit somewhere else #toh gets officially forgiven for the 'masked man 2.0' #and then i connect the dots that they're in this situation for stabbing each other #like literally #and multidimensionally #doomed by narrative written by a force trying to destroy them and the functionality of the world #there's more and it's deeper i'm too sleep deprived #prise the autocorrect for making me sound coherent #i Hope #mist was here

[valeffelees]

Oh do tell about that snowbaz au of yours 👀

I WOULD FUCKING LOVE TO, thank you so much tumblr user pidgelikethebird (and also my most beloved and loyal companion @drowninginships) for providing me the enrichment i need to survive the winter.

ok gimme a min here to turn my thoughts into comprehensible words. i'm gonna say right now: this post is gonna be a LONG one, but 10 out of 10 scientists agree you should read to the end.

so, if you didn't know, The Beauty Inside is a Korean romcom from 2015, based off an American short film of the same name; the orig short film i linked is an extremely quick watch (only 6 episodes, each one 4-10 minutes long) and i would absolutely recommend it, but the very basics of the premise is that: a man wakes up in his bed on his 18th birthday to find he's in a completely different body than his own, and every day since then, he wakes up as somebody new.

AND OBVS I JUST HAD TO FUCKING SNOWBAZ THAT, which is how my AU, titled In the Many Ways of Loving You, was born:

Simon Snow wakes up every day as somebody new; the only person who knows the truth is Penny, his best friend and roommate, since she's been by his side since it all began ten years ago.

he works on commission as a custom bookbinder—like, he has an Etsy or some shit, i dunno, some kinda online shop where people can commission him in a variety of ways to rebind their favourite books, either by paying extra for Simon to buy the book himself and rebind it from new and send it to them, or sometimes collectors will send their personal copies to him to have him rebind them, and he's very good at it, and N E WAY the point of this is that he has a small bookshop he's been going to regularly for the last eight or so years, because it's close to his and Penny's flat, and where the story begins: Baz is a new employee that just started working there about two weeks ago and Simon has a massive crush on him.

ok, now. day one: when we meet Simon for the first time, he wakes up and he's lovely and blonde and brown-eyed and ok, yeah, i've just made him look like Agatha bc i thought it'd be kinda funny, esp since Agatha's not actually in the fic otherwise.

and Simon has to pick up a copy of some random book from the bookshop today bc someone bought a custom binding of it, so he goes down and, as usual, since it's his job, Baz has to come over to talk to him and is like, "hey, can I help you with anything?" and Simon doesn't need any help bc he's been coming to this shop for years, but every time Baz asks he says yes bc he wants the excuse to talk to him, and on this day Simon is like, wait. i'm so hot rn. so he asks Baz out—

and Baz is like [finger guns] absolutely not.

and Simon is like 👁️👄👁️ welp i'm in fucking agony.

but whatever, fine. a guy like Baz is prolly already in a proper relationship, and it's always a bad idea for Simon to get involved with someone he has to see on the reg. he had to start going to a different coffee shop that's twenty minutes out of his way bc he went out on a great date with one of the baristas at his old spot and then obvs couldn't go out again after just that one time, and it made him super emo, so really, Baz saying no was prolly for the best.

TIMESKIP, it's been a few days and Simon has to go down to the bookshop again. but this time he's a bloke. and so Baz comes up to ask if Simon needs help and he says yeah, as usual, and the two of them end up having a bantery convo about the book Simon's looking for bc they've both read it and Baz hated it, but Simon loved it, and it's just very cute and casual, and then Baz is like. so, my shift ends in liiike... four hours. are you doing anything?

and Simon is like. OH. OH!!!

that whole "it's prolly for the best" thing? yeah, fuck that, that was Simon of the past, he doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about bc cute bookshop guy wants to hang out and so they go out and have the most fucking insane romcom date ever.

'cause you gotta remember, Simon only gets one real day with people, so he doesn't do like casual coffee dates or movies or whatever. they go out and like fucking B&E a museum after hours bc Simon knows someone like the janitor or something (i dunno) leaves one of the back doors unlocked so he can step out for a cig every few hours, so they sneak in and have the time of their life running around looking at art while trying not to get caught, and we're going to use the suspended disbelief bestowed upon us by the power of romcoms to pretend security cameras aren't a thing, and it is BRILLIANT. like, Simon and Baz have so much chemistry, and when the night ends Baz is just like all smiles and creased eyes and messy black hair and, breathlessly: "I want to see you again."

and Simon's heart drops. because he wants to see Baz again, too, but he can't. no matter how much he wants to, he can't. when he wakes up tomorrow he's going to be someone new, so he can't, he can't, he can't, he—

"Yeah," he says. "Tomorrow?"

SIMON NO!!!

"It's a date."

FUCK!!!

ok, so now we have a problem. Simon can't just stand him up, i mean he could but he doesn't want to, and he really does want to see him again, so he does the only thing he can think of: he stays awake. all fucking night.

Baz, the next day: "You look exhausted."

Simon, wired asf on caffeine and trying to be smooth: "Had someone on my mind all night."

and then they go have another wicked date, but i have nothing in my notes about what it is. oh, i have them living in Canada in this fic btw bc as a rule, if a fic doesn't have to be set in England, i move them to Canada for comfort. so i might have them go cliff jumping or something? who knows. we'll go with that for now.

cue the romcom montage.

[mother tongue starts playing SO DON'T SAY YOU LOVE ME FALA AMO, JUST LET YOUR HEART SPEAK UP AND I'LL KNOW]

ok. post-date. Simon is so dumb and infatuated with Baz and does something only a boy who is dumb and infatuated and sleep-deprived would do in his situation, and he goes back to Baz's flat with him to "watch a movie", or in other words: the movie starts and then they prolly have sex, but in my notes this is written as "??? smash ???" so i guess it's kinda up in the air.

either way, Simon passes the fuck out at Baz's place bc he was properly exhausted by that point, and he wakes up to Baz screaming at him bc obvs he looks like a different person now.

Simon, half-asleep: [PANICKED FLAILING] BAZ IT'S ME!!! STOP THROWING THINGS!!! BAZ!!! IT'S ME, IT'S SIMON!!!

and Baz is like: WHAT THE FUCK

and Simon is like: I CAN EXPLAIN

and Baz is like: HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE

and Simon is like: I CAN EXPLAIN!!!

so, here's a detail from the orig film that comes into play here: in the orig movie, the MC keeps a video diary, logging every day what his face looks like, and in this, Simon does this on his phone and backs them up to his computer every hundred days, so he gives Baz his phone and tells him the whole story while Baz scrolls through these short like minute long videos of Simon on various days going, "Hey, this is me today. I have [this and such] thing to do, blah blah blah."

and the thing is, Baz recognises him in some of them. bc Simon is always coming into the bookshop. he stops watching when he gets to the day Simon looked like Agatha, and Simon has been quiet for a while at this point, just letting Baz process.

Baz: "I want you to leave."

Simon takes his phone without a word and goes. Penny picks him up on the corner a block over and drives him back to their flat. she doesn't ask what happened. she already has a pretty good idea.

when Simon's next commission comes in, he thinks about going to another bookshop, he really does. but this one is so convenient, esp since Simon can't drive bc he can't risk getting pulled over carrying a licence that doesn't have his face on it, and he's been going there for eight years and it's not like Baz will recognise him anyway.

so, to the bookshop he goes, but this time when Baz comes up to ask if he needs help, Simon is like, "haha, no that's okay," and goes back to looking for things on his own, and Baz kinda lingers awkwardly for a moment before going on his way, but then when Simon comes up to the till to pay for the book, Baz just stands there staring at him. and Simon is so uncomfortable, like, he just wants to leave—

"Simon?"

SORRY, YOU WHAT?

"What?" Simon gapes at him. "How did— how did you? But I'm—"

"Can we talk?" Baz asks.

"How did you know it was—"

Baz shouts over to the other employee on the floor that he's taking his lunch break, and Simon just slowly follows him out of the shop with the book forgotten, unpaid for, at the check-out.

and here's the deal, Baz liked Simon a stupid amount considering they'd only gone on two dates, but they were good dates, and Baz doesn't date much, so he's a bit hung up on just how much he liked Simon and the weird way shit ended, so he's basically like. i want to see it again. and Simon is like, see what? and Baz is like, you. the... whatever that you do, i want to see you change.

and that's how Simon ends up bringing Baz back to his flat, and btw: Simon has a rule about never bringing people back to his flat bc it's weird as fuck. his room is really tiny, and it's cluttered as fuck in a Howl's bedroom type way. he keeps to the same cheap, casual style for all his clothes, but he needs things in a bunch of sizes. shoes are a nightmare. he has to take care of his hair in a million different fucking ways. so he has the lives of a dozen people shoved into a room the size of a shoebox, and his mattress has no frame. that shit is just on the floor, so it takes up less space. and there's this mirror, a wide full bodied mirror, propped up against the wall facing the bed, so that the first thing Simon can do each day is roll over and look at himself.

Simon and Baz have supper together, they talk, they pretend this isn't weird as fuck and, even though it is weird as fuck, they still have so much chemistry, and this is a fanfic, so they just end up having sex again but it's supposed to be kinda emo and tender and look, it's what my heart wants, ok?

morning comes. Simon wakes to Baz's hands on his face. which is already and improvement compared to last time. Baz is looking at him very seriously, but also very like. softly. he's touching Simon's features, tracing them, and Simon is quiet for a very long time, watching him do this, until he's just like. what are you doing.

Baz: "Getting to know you." A pause. "Why does it happen?"

Simon: "I don't know."

Baz: "Are there other people like you?"

Simon: "I don't know."

Baz, sighing: "Well, what do you know?"

Simon: "That I'm still me. Inside, I mean. Like... if you had a book, and every day you gave it a new cover, the story wouldn't change."

Baz: "You must get lost on a lot of shelves."

Simon: "Yeah."

and from there, Baz is just a part of Simon's life the same way Penny is, he knows the truth, and he deals with it. for the first time in Simon's adult life, he gets to really date. he and Baz do a bunch of domestic shit together, for months, and it's so good. all of it is so good, all the time, and they fall so fucked up deep in love with each other.

(detail from this point that is relevant later: Baz and Simon make a game out of Baz recognising Simon at work on days when he hasn't seen yet what he looks like. Simon will come in and try to act like a stranger, but Baz can Where's Waldo him every time.)

but then Christmas comes. and Baz has to go home to see his family. and i don't have an exact idea of how this convo goes, only that it is not a fight of any kind, like, it is a normal convo about the holidays but Baz apologises to Simon during it for not telling his family about him, he says they'd want Baz to bring Simon home if he did (bc i just don't wanna fuck with homophobia in this so we've shot Malcolm with the ally beam) and he wouldn't know how to explain Simon's whole... thing to them, and Simon kinda realises that like. he can't ever be the type of boyfriend Baz can bring home to his family. he can't ever be the type of boyfriend Baz gets to have a normal life with.

SO SIMON GHOSTS HIM.

like, Baz comes back from his family's place, annoyed that Simon hasn't returned any of his texts or calls, only to find that Simon and Penny have literally fucking moved flats in the two weeks he's been gone. and obvs he's fucking devastated and confused by this and desperately trying to get Simon to respond to him, but he won't.

Simon goes out of his way to find a new bookshop to go to, and that's the end of things for about a week or so, and i haven't actually decided what happens here exactly, but the general idea i wanna go with is that Simon goes to the bookshop Baz works at just for the sake of seeing him, checking up on him, bc he misses him.

but remember that game they played? so yeah, Baz walks up to say his usual like, "hey, can I help you find anything?" but he fucking clocks Simon after like ten seconds.

scene change: they're in Simon's new flat, like maybe Baz demanded that if Simon is going to break up with him he owes it to him to do it goddamn properly, but i dunno. details, details. but they end up getting in a huge fucking fight and Simon reveals the reason he ghosted Baz was bc he realised Baz can't have a real life with him and Baz is like:

"You don't get to decide that for me! You're still you, you're still lovely—"

"You don't even know what I look like!"

"I don't care what you look like, you fucking moron, I care that you're Simon Snow! There's a person inside you that exists every day, even when everything else changes, and he's lovely. I love him. The rest doesn't matter, how can you not see that? Stop telling me I'm not allowed to love you however you are, I'll love you a hundred different ways, Simon. Any size, any shape. I'll love you over, and over, and over. That's a life for me. A real life for me. You!"

and then Simon throws his arms around Baz's neck and hugs him like he needs him to breathe and Baz clings to his shirt and they're both prolly crying all loud and gross, but it's fine. they're gonna be fine.

the next day: Simon wakes up to Baz's mouth on the back of his neck. "Like this one, then?" he says.

"Loveliest yet." Baz brushes his knuckles over the slope of Simon's shoulder. "Freckles, curls, broad shoulders... Mmm, maybe we should stay in bed today."

Simon laughs and rolls over to pin Baz to the mattress, grinning at him. he goes to say something, prolly rib at him the way they do, but as he does he catches his reflection in that mirror he keeps by his bed and he freezes.

"Holy shit!" he shouts, and shoves himself up onto his knees. "That's me!"

Baz rolls his eyes. "Yes, yes, I told you—"

Simon shakes his head furiously. "No, it's. Baz. I'm. Jesus fucking Christ, that's me. Baz, that's me."

Baz sits up slowly. "Do you mean—"

"Fuck, holy shit!" Simon grabs his curls with both hands. he hasn't touched these curls in ten fucking years. he looks older than he remembers himself, which is a given, but it's definitely him. his father's eyes, his mother's chin. the moles on his cheek, above his eyebrow, below his ear.

Simon freaks out in a way that kinda toes the line between being happy and being a breakdown, he throws himself at Baz, and they both fall back onto the bed and Simon is laughing and he's shaking and he doesn't understand, he doesn't get it, but holy fuck, he has his own face, he has his own body, he has his own hands. Baz pushes them apart so he can get a look at him, and Simon is actually kinda self-conscious when he does, which is a new feeling. he never has to feel self-conscious about anything, usually, since he knows every flaw or insecurity isn't really his, and will be gone the next day, but this is just... him.

Baz takes Simon's face in his hands and then, breathlessly, "Hello, Simon Snow."

AND THEN THEY KISS bc what else would they do here.

and uhh, yeah. so. Simon goes out to the kitchen where Penny is making breakfast and she loses her shit when she sees him. big hugs all around. Baz really does take the day off work to spend it with Simon, even though that just means lying around on the sofa watching movies while Simon works on his current rebinding commission. when Penny gets home that evening, they order takeaway and sit around the lounge room playing boardgames together until late, late, late into the night. Penny falls asleep in the armchair, and now it's 3-am.

Simon is tired. he's looking at the clock, sitting with his knees up and his arms around them, with Baz beside him. Baz has his forehead on his shoulder, an arm around his waist. he doesn't want to go to bed, because what if... what if it was only for today. how long will it be until the next time? what if there is no next time, what if, what if—

"We'll still be here," Baz whispers, exhausted. "And you'll still be you. No matter what, Simon."

and so they go to bed.

Simon wakes up to Baz's mouth on the back of his neck.

"Good morning, Simon Snow."

AND YEAH, that is the entire plot of my The Beauty Inside AU.

i told you this was gonna be a long one, but if you've made it all the way to the end of this mess, thank you kindly again for indulging me!

#ngl i wanted to sign up for the cobb with this fic idea really bad but at the time i wasnt confident i could manage #taking part in a fandom event. i might think about signing up for it next year if it runs again but who knows #thanks for hanging out! #snowbaz #ask #pidgelikethebird

[natsmagi]

OK HI HI sorry i'm reading magic lantern and i need to scream about it to someone and. I'm not done with it yet but

I find it really REALLY interesting how like... Even though they don't get much exploration of their relationship I feel like there are quite a lot of parallels between Tsumugi and Sora ? And how, contrasted to Natsume who's really not afraid of fighting for his own happiness (as we see during the war era where he never really gives up on finding revenge), both sora and tsumugi seem content only ever making others happy (ESPECIALLY NATSUME HIMSELF) and finding their happiness by proxy through that ? And how they both kinda convince themselves that their current situation is ok even if people tell them it's not ? With Tsumugi always taking even horrible things that happen with a smile, and Sora saying he doesn't feel lonely at all bc he has the plushies he can talk to, so he's fiiine !! And like I find that... So !??!?! I dunno, interesting ? And I really really wish it was explored more and not just there without ever being brought up. I feel like they really could bond over that and maybe try to not just accept the bare minimum? Idk if any of my ramblings make sense sorry I just needed to scream about it somewhere cuz sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who gives a shit about soramugi.... I hate it when people say they have "no chemistry" (not necessarily romantic just, in general) and "nothing going for them" because that's just... not true, there IS stuff and there IS depth there, it's just not explored at all and you kind of have to dig in there on your own... Sure it may not be as flagrant as everything thats going on in their relationships with natsume but there IS stuff here guys stop sleeping on it!! (Not directed at u of course)

Also, weirdly enough I feel like the fact that their interactions always feel kind of superficial is a testament to both of their tendencies to kind of not talk about their feelings or whats bothering them, whereas natsume (especially when something is annoying him/making him angry) is quicker to speak his mind (even if hes still not quite honest about whats making him feel this way). Idk if any of this makes sense aaa sorry for the novel I just. I needed to say it and I felt like here was the right place cuz I always love reading your and everyone's takes on stuff ,,,, anyways!!! I love ur art btw and ur like the only person on tumblr who i activated notifs for cuz I never wanna miss any posts of urs!!!! I might be a lurker but ur blogs still often a highlight of my day ^-^ keep doing what ur doing!!!!<3

ANON UR DEFINITELY ONTO SOMETHING!!!

i feel like soras character is a very interesting middle ground between natsume and tsumugi, like ok lemme talk about natsume for a sec;

ive always read natsumes relationship with sora as natsume seeing himself in him. sora reminds natsume of the kid he used to be (the "naivety," speaking in third person, etc) which is why hes so adamant on protecting him. his treatment of sora is also a parallel to the oddballs (the desire to protect from corruption, shu being "tsundere" but soft around and unable to say no to natsume (self explanatory), rei being very "babying"/whiny (natsume tends to coddle sora and whines when sora isnt paying attention to him), wataru being natsumes shisho (natsume being soras shisho) etc etc)

im mentioning this because as you said; alot of soras personal mannerisms are more in-line with tsumugis. theyre both INCREDIBLY self-sacrificing and CONSTANTLY fail to take their own happiness into consideration, but theyre both fine with that when they really shouldnt be. this is also why i really hope that the switch climax event will center around these two specifically; because they should be able to understand each other the deepest, theyve just never had the opportunity to do so. for the both of them to grow further they need the other, because in a sense tsumugi is kinda the jaded older guy, while sora is the young one still full of so much love and wonder for the world. tsumugi can help sora maintain realistic, and sora can help tsumugi stay genuinely happy and positive.

soras part in switch is an incredibly interesting one to me, because on one hand you have natsume projecting way too much onto sora, and on the other hand you have tsumugi not projecting anything at all. esp since sora and tsumugi are probably the ones who need each other/to learn from each other the most atm. such complicated little guys dont fuck this up for me akira 💔

#long post #happyele listen to me. Let me write the switch climax i got this. >cannot write #ask #AND WAHHHH THANK YOUUUUUUU!!! #IT MAKES ME VERY HAPPY YOU LIKE MY ART AND RAMBLES ESP ENOUGH TO TURN ON NOTIFS AJHKSHDK #❤️❤️❤️❤️

[strawbrygashez]

hey!! do you have any christmas hcs for tyler or the narrator? (either when they were young or when the film is set) :)

I’ll do for when they are younger since I had shared some before for when they are together :)

Tyler

•I don’t think he came from a family that had lots of money to spend around Christmas so he never got all that much & he probably didn’t even get anything from his parents once he was around like 15. But when he did get gifts, they’d be your typical ‘boy gifts’ I think like toy cars, action figures, nerf gun stuff, fishing things, maybe a pair of boots and etc. even if he didn’t show a interest in some of those things he’d probably still end up with them since I imagine his parents are old fashion southerners.

•maybe when he was a teen he’d get his siblings a gift or two if he had any and was close to them. I can see him doing the odd job here and there growing up so he’d save a little up during the holidays to get his hypothetical sibling(s?) something nice.

With that though, I picture his parents were kinda shitheads tho and asked where their gifts are from him since ‘they raised him after all’ 🙄

•What he’d actually want for Christmas when he was younger is probably stuff like cds, nice clothes, band posters, and stuff to craft with (idk I just picture him loving to do things like make accessories/jewelry since he likes to make soap. Yknow just stuff where he can sit down and relax)

•I think Christmas could have been part of why he even started to hate people who are better well off than him. Because I’m sure he hated seeing all the people around him getting nice things, especially if he didn’t like the kids getting nice gifts and thought they don’t deserve what they got.

Narrator

•When I think of how he grew up, I imagine his family was upper middle class. So that means he got a ‘better’ Christmas experience than Tyler. I don’t think he particularly cared for the holiday though because for some reason I just picture it being a very overstimulating time for him since I think he’d be stuck around tons of people/his family & there’s too much noise and things in general going on. I don’t think he would show that it bothers him that much though and his mom or whoever just thought he’s just being a little awkward as he sits by himself, looking at nothing in particular lol.

•He’d be more likely to get gifts of things he actually likes though. Like Books, stationery sets & penguin themed things.

•somewhat Christmas related, I think he’d write his lists to Santa in cursive. Like whenever he learned how to write in cursive in school, he never stopped writing in it since. Like if u put his list next to someone else his age back when he was like, I dunno like 12.. his would look like a adult wrote it 💀

•He hated having to wear certain clothes for Christmas but again, you wouldn’t really be able to tell he’s upset about it. On the inside he’s screaming because he hates whatever sweater he’s in or he feels cringe for wearing matching pajamas with everyone but he’s just like •_• on the outside.

•I feel like some family members would go a bit overboard with the gifts for him just bc they have the money to yknow, like I could see him getting gift after gift from his grandma or somethin 💀

•Once his biological dad left the picture, he never got anything from him besides a card if he could remember to send Jack one. Maybe like 5 dollars would be in it once or twice lol

#asks #sorry this is short. brains jumbled 🥲

[andro-dino]

🗣️ for Essi and Selen because we know who it is for the other two

And 💧 for Zhouxing and Axyl because I love tears and pain

🗣️: Who’s the one that will ramble on about their highly specific interest while the other just sits back and nods along?

I dunno, I think it’s kinda both, kinda neither. Essi is a big talker in general, and selen is just kinda subjected to that all the time while going “she’s such a loser oh my god <3” meanwhile if selen’s ever going off on her own silly little mildly evil tangents, essi kinda doesn’t really fully register it all and kinda just goes along with it like “mhm yeah babe you’re very cunning and evil and smart mhm.” I’d say essi does try very hard to listen to Selen as much as she can though. She loves her very much and is very attentive most of the time so she’s usually the one who sits back and listens a little more.

💧: How well do they comfort each other when they’re upset?

This is funny bc I was actually drawing this yesterday. Axyl tends to go semi/nonverbal when they’re really upset and don’t usually like to talk about it afterwards so Zhouxing usually lets them initiate what they want. If they need comfort, usually they just want physical affection. Acknowledging they’re upset just makes them more upset so he’ll just silently go to Zhouxing and rest their head on his shoulder or something and usually Zhouxing takes that as his sign to cuddle and comfort them. He worries and would prefer that Axyl talk to him about it, but he understands aer boundaries and gives it time to bring it up when it feels comfortable to. Zhouxing meanwhile doesn’t like Axyl to see him when he’s really upset because he usually gets more peeved than anything and doesn’t wanna be snappy to them. When he’s not at the height of his irritation, usually the way he most likes to be comforted is just by listening to Axyl talk. He’ll cuddle up to them and just ask them how they’re doing, not really adding his own inputs besides to tell them to keep going. Axyl doesn’t really understand it aerself but it calms Zhouxing down and they’re really no good at comforting anyone in a traditional sense so if it works, then they’re fine with it.

OH YK WHAT i just remembered Zhouxing’s whole thing in masters where he’s the only one able to calm Madoka down, and I can imagine him trying to do that with Axyl at some point, only to realize that they’re not receptive to it and then going, more softly, “hey, you okay?” and axyl shakes their head no. “you wanna talk about it?” another no. Instead, they just go in to hug him, and he just holds them, and they just stay there for a while.

I think both ways though, they’d probably end up giving the other a little smooch on the forehead with a “I love you” bc they’re cringe and I hate them

+ bonus aforementioned doodles

#axel’s silly little thoughts #mfb oc #you want pain and tears and I make soft self indulgent comf instead #I’m normal abt this guys I’m soooooo normal

[un-named-thing]

i dunno if you write poly stuff, but can u do some steddie x ftm!reader, angst to fluff where reader is like rlly heartbroken about having a crush on both of them bc reader thinks its weird/confusing plus theyre trans so kinda double homocide 💀 anyway steddie accepts readers confession and comforts them happy ending woohoo

I write any kind of stuff really if that makes sense and I actually really like this idea

----------------------------------------------------------

'So it's not weird?' Steddie x ftm!reader

Summary: after a good talk with yourself you finally gather up the courage to tell Steve and eddie what you've wanted to say for a while,

Cw: reader being real upset, angst to fluff

I leaned against my locker, zoned out as Dustin basically yelled into my ear how exited he was about hell fire tonight. It was pretty exiting. But wasn't so excited tho. The thing is Eddie finally managed to get Steve to tag along which made Dustin even happier which isn't the bad part.

The bad part was that i was panicking. I have had a huge crush on Steve and eddie and i hated myself for it. I thought it wasn't normal and that something was wrong with me.

I wished i could just pick one to fanboy over but i simply couldn't. I loved eddie and his mass amount of energy. I loved the way he could light up a room in seconds.

And steve i loved how laid back he was but he could also get serious really quickly. Also how protective he was of the group. Both of those men just made me lose my damn mind.

But confessing would be like asking for a death sentence, especially to both of them. But even if they did somehow say yes and where okay with it what if they found out i was trans. Then it would all be over before it started.

But even them accepting my confession is very, very slim. If i confessed it would probably ruin our friendship forever.

I was suddenly shaken from my thoughts when i felt dustin literally shaking me. He looked really concerned. "Are you okay?" "Ya I'm fine" i quickly answerd trying to hide the fact that i was on the brink of tears. I bit my bottom lip trying not to cry.

My eyes darted around the hall before they landed on a clock. "Oh look at the time, I better go to my last period.. see ya at hell fire Dustin" i said slowly walking away before speeding of in the direction on my class. Dustin stood there confused for a moment before shrugging it off and heading of to his last period.

I rushed into my classroom just as the bell was about to ring. I took a seat in the back and put my head down. I was trying so damn hard not to cry but it was getting harder and harder the more thoughts popped into my head.

Why the hell did I have to have a crush on two damn guys. Why do I have to be so confusing. God I don't even know what this would be called.

God look at me, trans and I have a crush on two guys. Thats double homicide if anything. For now I just have to get through these last hours and I can go home and cry into my pillow and try to forget how weird I am.

Time skip

The Bell rang making me jump slightly as I was half way asleep. I looked around and quickly realised people where packing up and leaving. I cussed under my breath and jumped up. Basically running out the classroom.

I took a deep breath when suddenly I was being picked up. I looked down only to see eddie. He had that usual happy grin on his face. I blushed as he pulled me into a tight hug.

"Ready for hell fire n/n?" He asked. He looked so damn exited and I simply nodded in response. He smiled and led me to the club room. But not even half way there steve joined us, and now it was time to start panicking. I couldn't get a single word out. I was embarrassed as hell.

Why was it so damn akward? Was it me? I breathed heavily as we finally reached the club room.

Eddie paused and turned to me right as he was about to open the door. "Hey n/n you okay, you look out of it?" Eddie asked concerned "Ya you okay m/n?".

Great now both eddie and steve where asking if I was okay. Internally I was fucking screaming. "Ya ya I'm fine just nervous for... hell fire is all". I gave a weak smile to both of the guys. They exchanged glances before eddie finally opened the door.

The room was full of the normal people you'd see in hell fire. Expect lucas was out. Again. So Erica was taking his place, which she was more than happy to do. I took my place next to mike as I normally do and steve stood next to me, using Eddie's "throne" for support.

There was no need for me to be this nervous but something in me was just going crazy. Plus I still couldn't calm down from what happened just seconds ago. I just tried to concentrate on the game and nothing else. But oh god was it so damn difficult.

Yes another time skip

Another successful hour of playing dnd with my friends was over and i actually managed to keep it together. Kinda. Everyone was happily cheering and getting their stuff together.

I was about to get up and join the others when eddie stopped me by grabbing my hand. I turned to him with a slight tint of red on my face.

"Heeey n/n, me and steve are going back to mine to hang out, your coming with" he said with a devilish grin. I gulped and my head ran wild. I quickly responded "sorry eddie I'm busy" i gave him a soft smile before trying to get my hand back.

Suddenly steve grabbed my other hand and a smirk spread across his face. "He wasn't asking" they laughed as they watched my face turn into a look of horror. They pulled me along all the way holding my hands in their's, with eddie slightly ahead of us.

I walked out into the empty parking lot where Steve dragged me and Eddie to his car. Eddie happily jumped into the front seat when Steve unlocked the car. And I got into the back quietly.

Steve pulled out of the parking lot and onto the rode. Eddie gave him a look. "You remember where I live harrington?" "How could I not" Steve answered not taking his eyes of the rode.

I smiled slightly trying to sink into my seat. 'Just smile and sit quietly m/n, maybe they'll forget your here and you can run home and cry at how pathetic you are' at this point I was mentally scolding myself from not being able to resist these two and just give into them.

I looked up and saw eddie looking straight at me. "Okay l/n spill your guts, you've been weird the whole day. Even hell fire and I know how much you love hell fire. I mean come on Even Dustin mentioned how weird you where acting. So come on spill it" eddie said turning from a more cheery tone to a serious one.

I froze. I was darn speechless. I didn't know what to fucking say and the worst part it when I looked over to Steve who was giving me occasional glances. I knew he had concern on his face too.

I put my head down and stayed quiet. Eddie asked me acoulpe more times and so did Steve but I didn't say I word. Now the car ride was silent.

'Great m/n you ruined it you idiot' I mentally scolded myself. I could feel how much I wanted to cry but I couldn't, not here, not now. I bit my tounge trying to stop myself crying.

God why did I have to be weird and ruin one of the best friendships I've ever had. Why did I have to be the weird friend who likes his friends. I bit my tounge and played with my hands. Truing so desperately to calm myself down. But I'm pretty sure both of the guys could see that I was practically shaking.

The car ride was painfull but I didn't want it to end cause I knew as soon as we got to Eddie's they would bonbrad me with questions. I didn't want that. I was so damn on edge I would definitely spill my gut and that would be a disaster.

But that car ride couldn't last forever and soon i felt the car stop and eddie get out. Steve got out and opened the door for me. I nodded a thank and walked with Steve to eddie. Eddie unlocked his door and fell on the couch looking at me and steve.

Steve led me to the couch and sat me between him and eddie. Just fucking great. My breathing quickened when I felt eddie and steve give me a side hug at the same time. They didn't speak but I knew they where burning to know what was bothering me so much.

Steve broke the silence first. "Hey n/n we don't know what's bothering you so much but we hope that we can help in some way" he gave me a soft smile patting me on the back as eddie gave me a tight hug.

I didn't even notice that I started crying. I guess everything I've built up just over flowed. I could feel steve join the hug as well. "Hey if you don't feel comfortable talking about it it's okay but we won't judge you" I could feel eddie smile and tighten the hug.

Now it really all over flowed and I just spilled out my gut. "Goddamit, what's bothering me is you two. I love both of you so damb much but its so fucking weird, I know and maybe I could be normal and confess without all these tear but it would be really much easier if I was born a damn guy just like the both of you!"

I curled up in a ball, sobbing, with both of the guys pulling back to look at me. They looked at eachother before going back to hugging me. I was slightly stunned at this. I more or less stopped sobbing so much but I was the furthest thing from calm.

This time eddie spoke up first. "Jesus I wouldn't be surprised if you told us you could read minds too" he laughed slightly and hid his face in the crook of my neck.

"It was kinda obvious that you had a crush on one of us man, but we didn't really know which one off us" "we didn't expect it too be both" eddie spoke up right after Steve.

I wiped away the tears and looked up at them both. "But what about me be-" I was cut off when Steve picked me up and hugged me lifting me of my feet. Eddie joined in and hugged me from the back.

I didn't know what to say but I was finally happy that they knew, and they didn't think this was weird. "So n/n, Steve are we like in a couple but there are three people?" eddie asked shooting glances at both of us.

"Yes eddie that's how it works" I said as Steve finally put me down. "Nice, but now that your okay, you are okay right?" "Yes I'm fine" I said looking at eddie "good! Now who wants to have some fun?! If you know what i mean" "Seriously eddie?" Steve looked at him, slightly disappointed

"Ehhh fine Steve but I'm taking m/n with me then" eddie smirked as he dragged me off to his room. "Oh no you dont" I heard Steve yell behind us. I smiled. Okay maybe I wasn't so weird after all.

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #gay #x male reader #queer #eddie munson x male!reader #eddie munson x you #steve harrington #Steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x male reader #steve harrington x you #steve x reader x eddie #steddie

[caralara]

Idk what to make of Harry when it comes to the people he surrounds himself with and his desire for more and more fame/love. He’s not the helpless victim some Larries think he is but he’s also not the manipulative villain Rads see him as. It’s impossible for anyone to tell what kind of situation he’s in and exactly who is pulling the strings and etc, but I think it’s clear that Harry doesn’t hate the Azoffs at all despite them being pieces of shits. He’s changed so much…I feel like he was at least fine in 2016-2018. But the past few years I’ve found him to be off putting, and I wonder why he continues to surround himself with super fake celebrities and business people. He doesn’t mind the fakeness of these A list events. Idc if i sound selfish or delusional, but this boy has been thru a lot from the industry and I don’t see why he’s sacrificing authenticity for success. Look at him while in the band/during HS1 vs now. I don’t even wanna go to his concerts because of his audiences. This type of stuff also makes it hard to imagine L&H together. I’m not talking about the fact that they have opposite images, that’s irrelevant to love. But i dunno, you see Louis not even being promoted by his own team and going indie and not being a fan of phoney industry stuff. Then you have Harry who’s 100% on board with playing the game. I wonder if there’s a long term plan for all this, like maybe he’s planning on making a lot of money for the management and himself so it’s stable for him to come out?

Harry isn’t the only one that’s rubbing me the wrong way though. Louis suddenly playing dad after years of pushing back against babygate is also a No from me. But with that situation, I can at least see where he’s going with it and that it hopefully won’t last much longer 🤷‍♀️

I agree with you, anon, as it is with so many things, the truth probably lies in between. I do believe the people you surround yourself with have a massive influence on your perception of the world (and obviously said people) and Harry had little choice when Jeff came into his life in 2013 about who’s surrounding him, and I do believe that Jeff is really good at manipulating and taking sugar. But harry is an adult now… the pandemic is what makes me a bit hopeful for the break now. Harry was forced to spend less time with all these leeches bc of covid and see what happened after? A harry who wasn’t very happy with Jeff. I think it’s soooo necessary for him to get out from under his supervision to recalibrate again. The way he’s confronted with his fame everyday on tour and how it’s being exploited by everyone can’t not fuck with your brain. So I hope this might do him some good… he should pull a Zayn and live on a farm in the middle of nowhere for a while hahah

#anon #harry government

[night--heart]

i know that people dislike the wcue devs for stuff that's happened in The Past and i get it but. can i just say a few things

i do appreciate how much love theyve put into the game, especially with the map remodel... you can tell that the devs like . Care A Lot abt the game yknow

it just kinda. Sucks! that the game isnt. The Best anymore. not to be all like "omg all the 8 year olds ruined the game!!!!!" bc. that isn't what happened. i feel like people hop into wcue expecting a regular cat roleplay game but have never read warrior cats so its just frustrating to see all these ppl playing it having never read the books. the amount of misinformation spread around in game about the canonicity of the books is BAFFLING, too. where did you people get information like "oh firepaw's mentor was tigerstar" and "it was so sad when dovepaw died in arc 3 :(" and "moth flight's mate was named micahsky, he was the founder of the skyclan!". where are you getting this stuff from

anyways my point is . wcue is good i promise its good as a game but the community is just........the Culture of wcue is so odd. its so strange! i dont get it. why do we all collectively decide to say "app" instead of apprentice, ive had people genuinely tell me "uhh iits not "apprentice", its called "app"."... same with calling it "dep" instead of "deputy", or "med" instead of "medicine cat" (or even "medic" "doctor" or "nurse")... why do all the names have to be typed like prefix'suffix or prefix-suffix or prefix/suffix or prefix,suffix and why is everyones name shit like "QUARTZ:INHOLDER" and "Puddle'Unclean" and "NightinggaleFeathers". i've seen 3 worded names like "DARKNIGHTFALL" or "Frostedsnowypeaks". ive seen people use tribe sounding names, and those same people don't even know what the tribe is (names like "FeatherFallingFromBird" or "CoyoteHowlsAtDawn" or something). what is going ON...

and the whole battle between "unexp" and "inexp" players, with "inexp" players usually either being young children who dont know how to play yet or people who just... don't have a fancy name or use big words in their bios..? which ive seen ppl genuinely use as an excuse to bully people. because their name was something simple like poppyfur instead of FloweringPoppy'Pelage and their bio was "a quiet and reserved she-cat who hates crowds" instead of "PULCHRITUDINOUS. SUPRESSED SEQUESTERED COLLEEN. WHOM IS OFTEN CLAUSTROPHOBIC."

i see people with bios like that who get asked what certain words in their bio means and they juts go "i dunno it just sounds cool". or people in the discord who say "i dont wanna be seen as inexp bc i dont know any big words-". you dont NEED big fancy words to be "exp". in fact get rid of the whole "unexp" "inexp" terms ENTIRELY. its stupid. its literally just short for "im exp because im 15 and use BIG WORDS and ur inexp because ur 9 and use SMALL WORDS." like just. Relax. All of you. Chill out

#rant over . god #wcue #this stuff is frustrating but it IS fun to people watch . lol #just as someone whos been into the books for years it is a little distressing seeing this lovely game be played by #people who dont even know what a warrior cats is (genuine thing btw. some people dont know its a book series at all #or have just never ever heard of it) . . . #but it is kind of fun to watch people be absolutely clueless #like im sorry man your name is AFFABLEAUTHORITARIAN you would never be a real warrior cat

[hanniejji]

Angst time💪 🙄 I had a similar dream like this so anyway.

This is au where their parents are alive and clan is still up. So Kazuha is the oldest so he would probably have to take his father's duties, and he doesn't need a lover...but Maple....well. Clan wasn't in a best condition let's say, so their parents had to make a deal with other known clan in inazuma. The caln had a kid similar age to Maple, so they decided that it would be good for both clans to have them together. ( maple is older here btw) Maple didn't really like that idea, neither Kazuha but their father told kazuha not to worry and to stay out of it. Maple had a lot of fights with their father, their mom didn't like the idea either, but thats all they can do to try to save the clan at the moment. Maple hated this, and would cry in their room because 1st they hate fighting with father, 2nd they hated that idea and 3rd they couldn't really do anything about it. Not only that, but Maple and that other person (the one Maple have to marry) hated each other.

One day their parents had a news for Kazuha and Maple, especially for Maple. They said that Maple will marry that person. Well.... things got a little complicated (bc why not 🥱). Let's say that Kazuha wasn't having it ( and maple too). Kazuha couldn't just stand there and watch his beloved sibling that he promised to protect suffer. (Nu-uh Kazuha is a badass 💪) They started an argument.

Kazubadass: "Father you can't just do that whitout talking to Maple first!"

Father👎:"Kazuha, i understand that you are upset but stay out if this, this is with me and (Name)-"

K: "Don't you see that 'Name' (when he uses Maple's real name yk something is bad💔) doesn't want this?! They hate it and you can see it but you choose to ignore it like always!"

Mom( we love mama kazuha): "L-lets calm down everyone, I'm sure we can talk about it in a more... calm way."

They were still arguing till they heard door shut with loud noise. Maple run to their room.

Father: * sigh* " 'Name' get back here-"

Kazuha: "Leave them alone, i believe you are the last person they want to see." Kazuha said angrily, and left to follow Maple.

Yeah dunno if i should continue, its pretty long anyways(?). Ya forgive me for grammar mistakes english isn't my first language 🧍‍♀️ Love yall

-🍑

clan head kazuha is kinda giving me tingles ehehe just imagining things yes don't mind me :D

these types of troupes are so frustrating too! maple knows that what their father is doing is going to benefit the clan, but can you really blame them for getting mad? a big part of their life in the future is being taken from them, it's only normal that they feel anger, right?

and if maple gets upset, so does kazuha.

he understands that this is important for the clan, but he also understands that this is important for maple. and for his father to tell him to "stay out of it"? oh no, he's going to do everything but that. he's going to do everything in his whole fucking body to show that he is against this.

papa kaedehara better stop being stupid or else he'll get the kazuha glare forever >:(

yet it's frustrating because at the end of the day, kazuha's not yet the head of the clan and he can't have the final voice in it. he can only express his anger towards hi father and that unworthy person he chose for maple. he knows that maple and this person don't get well together, so he makes sure that he's always ready to intervene and let this person know that if they ever lay a hand on a single piece of hair on maple, that he'll be met with the speed of a thousand winds that will surely throw him off a cliff. or maybe he wants to meet the sword itching to be unsheated from kazuha's scabbard?

surely it won't be murder if he disguised it with the weather, right?...

but what kazuha focus mostly is maple themselves. he makes sure to be there for them after every meetings with the clan or after they spent a hellish time with their betrothed. he listens to their rants, buys them their comfort food, just anything only the best big brother would do for his only sibling 🥺

#maple.ask #asks #nonnie #🍑.hive

[terminaxshowtime]

Hello Termina. I am not actively falling asleep from medication right now so I bring more abt my ageswap au.

Since Mogami's a child star, he has brought plenty of publication to Mob's business (dunno what that'd be called, maybe something to do with broccoli) which is bad for Mob's social anxiety but it's ok, he gets used to it, smile.

And while the main arcs and stuff go on, like claw arc where the claw gang are actually at Mogami's school, terrorizing other kids until Mogami decides "these kids are messing up one of the only places I FEEL GOOD IN >:(" and ruins their whole plans+other arcs, Mogami is actually going through a LOT at home.

When tha main story starts, Mogami's mother has grown a chronic illness, forcing her to do work from home and basically always be sick and just at home, which has unfortunately led to more neglect, since she can't do too well in taking care of the two all the time, and even some abuse accidentally from yelling at him or being harsh when he makes mistakes and etc. There's also the whole being idolized thing so he has to play up his kindness and etc when outside home, and ofc at home so he doesn't get yelled at for being ungrateful or something, building up plenty of stress upon him.

And, uh, Mob really isn't good at the whole emotions thing as you can tell, so he can't help Mogami there either, and he doesn't even really notice the stress he's under a lot of the time because Mogami's that good at hiding it and looking like just any regular kid. But, bc the stress grows, it needs an output, which lead to Mogami's own little 100%s, most specifically when he feels the need to be violent because he feels he's cornered without another choice.

And in the end, Mogami starts to BREAK, he had to deal with Claw, Reigen choking him, Toi, Minori, his mother seeming like she hates him for even existing (even if that's not true, it just feels that way to him), the media all NEEDING him to be their perfect little attention seeker, and his own master not helping him with anything he needs help with when he tries giving tiny signs he meeds it (not Mob's fault however bc they are tiny and Mogami just doesn't know how to actively ASK for help lol) and Mogami goes "everybody in this world is so evil. Why should I hold back? They all hate me, just like that one girl's spirit said. But I'll MAKE THEM PAY." Cue anger-fueled destruction, friends trying to stop him and then Mob calming him down or something idk I honestly am not going into much detail 4 this au bc it's just a one-off thang to me lol.

But I did doodle this Mogami and Reigen in my sketchbook doe. I should prob do them digitally at sum point.

OH THAT'S AWESOME I LOVE THAT. sorry I didn't see this sooner I forgot to check my asks lmao but this is GREAT !!!

#mp100

[firebirdsdaughter]

So bc I saw a post and I’m paranoid/self conscious…

… Allow me to explain what I mean about Peter (and Neal) being out of character in s5.

A lot of it is tone—Peter just feels more dismissive and indifferent of Neal than even in the first season. It’s like their relationship went backwards a bit, or that he feels more like Kramer? I dunno exactly how to describe, but there’s scenes where just something missing and he’s too harsh and detached and it feels like it’s forced. Like he just doesn’t feel like he’s taking Neal’s feelings as seriously as he usually does. He’s not the same type of gruff fatherly as before. He’ll just suddenly start treating Neal like just an asset or something. As for the whole forged evidence/bribing thing, though… It’s not him being upset that’s out of character. Of course he’s upset, and angry, and conflicted. That first argument is beautifully painful, bc of course Neal refuses to back down, and that moment where he just holds out his hands to let Peter arrest him… Gah. Peter’s always been very by the book, and while he’s bent those rules and covered for Neal… It’s never been something like this. Never case tampering. This is serious. This could come back to bite them years down the road. So of course he’s mad, especially bc it was for him. He’s been trying to keep Neal out of crime, and now here’s the kid committing it for him. What’s ooc to me, is him telling Neal he did it bc he’s ‘just a criminal.’ That’s not my Peter Burke. My Peter would ask for space as he tries to decide how he feels/what to do. As he tries to reconcile w/ himself what has happened. ‘I know you did this for me and that’s why it’s so upsetting.’ But never that. It’s just a blatant example of Peter being forced to treat Neal worse to ‘justify’ Neal’s bratty behaviour.

Which brings me to Neal—oh my gods is he a whiny brat in s5. I hate the way he treats Peter like Peter is deliberately holding out on him and acts all righteous bc Peter… Won’t let him do whatever he wants. If Neal were distancing himself from Peter bc of his father, that’d be one thing, but every time he starts whining about Peter not magically producing the results he wants, or starts going on about how he should just be allowed to take shit ‘bc it’s there’ like an entitled brat… I just wanna smack him. I feel like he also regresses to just wanting the cheap thrill of taking things, when it feels like a more realistic progression for his character would be finding more moral, less self centred reasons to do so. Neal realising that Peter’s fighting a losing battle for him w. the FBI and risking his own job, Neal seeing how horribly tortured Peter is by his action in getting him out. After the discovery about his father, I’d believe Neal seeing the negative impacts of his presence in his loved one’s lives a whole lot more than the positives. I can see him falling into the trap of thinking he can’t change and he’s just hurting the people around him, trying to take matters into his own hands not bc he’s throwing a hissy fit that Peter can’t magically make other people do things, but bc he’s actually considering others and realises what kind of issues lobbying for him has caused Peter and El and everyone else.

There’s plenty of opportunity for drama and tension w/out forcing them both to be jerks to each other. Like I made a post about what I think a better course would have been Neal considering other people for once and how his actions effect them—Neal realising that his philosophies are actively hurting the people around him, and being in a such a bad place he doesn’t realise that they’re okay weathering it to have him around. I will go down w/ the ship that there’s a missed opportunity in killing off Warren Cole and not having Neal start to think about how easily that could have happened to Peter bc of him. There’s still good moments, absolutely, I can name several, like Peter being protective of Neal when there’s a sniper, or when Neal is shot by the sniper, but periodically, both Neal and Peter suddenly start being shallow jerks bc the writers are rushing and looking for conflict. And that’s not right to me.

#White Collar #on phone day hot not many tags #add layer maybe #but felt need to explain #weirdly Diana and El stay the most consistent #but I just don't want anyone to think I think Peter being mad about the tampered evidence is the issue #the issue is more where they went w/ it #like I said I can see him being like 'I know you did this for me AND THAT'S WHY I'M UPSET' #bc what Peter wants most is for Neal to have the best possible life he can and be the person he knows Neal can be #no way in hell he calls him a mere criminal #this is Peter who has a SPECIFIC SMILE for 'I'm so proud of you NEVER do that again' #Peter being angry and upset that all his attempts to help Neal might've been for naught and made it worse #that this could always come back… #that makes sense #Peter wanting space from Neal while he tries to decide what to do and how he feels and what this means for them #that's totally believable #Peter has worked so hard to protect Neal but this goes against everything he's been raised on and believes in #this should be a big moment for their dynamic overcoming this #instead it's used as an excuse to justify Neal being a selfish brat #Peter would be mad and shaken and have every right to be #but I will never accept that he'd say THAT #also telling Jones he'd regret being Neal's handler better be out of context/emotional #bc that I can see happening bc Neal has put Peter through SO much stress I can see him saying that in a moment of frustration #esp if he didn't know Neal was listening #anyway I just #compulsively need to Explain I'm sorry #Adopt a Felon 101

[lokisprettygirl]

ehehehehe sorry in advanced and here are my thought on LMTLY

damn it. i keep saying that lately with the past few chapters but really just damn it. damn it loki, i feel bad for you. I know you'd rather not be pitied because it shows your vulnerability but darling, come on. You had a fucked up life, i know but that isnt excuse to push people away. i know there are layers deeper than the earths crust of insecurities and fears you have but darling, please let someone tell them how they feel and how they can at least help you because thats what she doing, she trying to help you get past all that shitty trauma but your not even letting her. i know its hard to even realize that she trying to help but calm down, please try to and let her explain it bc just like with birdy, all the trauma that your keeping, all the fucked up shit you keep within yourself, one day its going too be too much and i know you hate sharing or being soft bc it makes you seem week and that what you were raised to believe but darling, please listen to her and let her help you.

those walls you have up have to come down, even just a bit if you want this relationship to progress. being vulnerable doesnt make you weak, if not it makes you stronger opening up to someone, especially the one you love. This sick need to be hurt as its the only way you only truly feel, it is sick darling but hopefully y/n is there to help you understand that there are better and something so much better past that. that you dont even have to feel pain to feel something

now eheheh sorry, i dunno why i tend to go into conversation or speak as if im actually talking to loki but it just happens eheheh. sorry not the next few bits are notes from where i continue to read when they get back from the party, i dunno why but for some reason i feel sort of compelled to make an essay or something because from what i read frpm this morning, this is really bloody good and though you might not have enjoyed writing this, this is truly one of the most necessary and most beautiful ones you've written for this story because it really just shows how comlicatedly fucked up his mind is and how you just wrote it is a bloody damn good way of making us understand.amyway i love this chapter and hers what i took note of whilst i read it again. ehehhe i again apologize though cuz i seem to be making a bloody book on how i think this goes, eheheh sorry….😅

now how closed off he is understandable considering his background but she went through the same shit in some way,of all the people you can open up to luv, she the one

the moments of ignorant bliss before the shit is often cruel dont yah think. they were so happy now, this… how their dealing with it is very different now isnt it, he sort of tries to push everything down and tries to forget it by distracting himself, first making him destructive with the glass then the timing of the call was just perfect enough to destract him to focus on your work. while she's in her room trying to process what she feels via the tears.

these are just my interpritations of what i read, how you choose to see them is how you truly do and im just trying my best to make sense of it all

darling your not a bloody monster so stop calling yourself that please, i beg of you stop it. none of what you did was per your own accord, you were forced to and i know that it doesnt take away the guilt of being the one that still hurt people but darling you have to learn to get past these and start fresh bc… only good things would come out of something new and good, choose to do so and to move on with her help, all good things would come. I promise. Isnt that right writer? he's still trying to protect her even after all this time… (always..😐) and she needs to understand that no matter what happens between them, he always will. right? Well, I believe in him enough to trust him to do so

her feelings are justified but i dont like how she using the night before against him.

their both fucked up i get that but even so, he's still protecting her and for her to think that he'd be that person, they dont know each other enough in that way because of their shit but the way their both hurting just hurts me now…

darling thats just the thing, we have to or you have to because… you just have to for things to work out because neither of you will be happy if you keep something like that burried so deep wothin you.

"But what if I want to share the baggage loki, what if I want to be the part of that pain that you feel all the time? What if I want to be someone you could talk to?"

seee, her saying thiss. i agree with. what if i and her or we want to share that baggage because we love you enough to help you with that. we love you wnough that we want to help you carry, unpack that baggage because we love you. understand that damn it.

that line seriously has me questioning my choices in men. do i want the emotionally fucked up one or the boring normal dude? ehehhe but i want the fucked up one though. i want someone i can take care of and maybe that says something about me but i want that. thats what these stories, especially yours bring. the sense of helping someone even in some weird way, us helping then, even just in our mind is helping us and i just want to thank you for that.

how mature she is compared to the her a few chapters ago just shows how much this relationship is important for both of them. she maturing, realizing that okay maybe you need to let this out bc it isnt healthy but his insecurity is that he the one that needs to go. he makes his insecureties and fears into one and thinks that it defines him or something but it just doesnt. hes been tought that the most horrible things about him define who he is and that hinders any and all relationship he has. any time someone shitty messes up his mind (like that bitch jolene, dont even get me started on her) he closes himself of even more bc he was giving himself to her (jolene, again regretfully) but as he was opening up she couldnt handle him and just fuck you bitch, you and that fucker odin ruined him. it isnt fair. they left him as he is without any help or comfort and now y/n is left to pick up the pieces. fuckin shit come onnn

but i want to know and see those stupid ugly parts of you you moron (sorry…) but what if she doesnt run

now imgonna rage bc that bitch jolene is ruining the moment😡🤬 FUCKIN SHIT YOU BITCH YOU RUINED THE MOMENT. YOUR IN ON IT WITH THOR YOU FUCKER DONT ACT LIKE YOU ARENT YOU SHITTY…..

sorry for that ehehhe anyway, this got on longer, wayy longer that expected and its still isnt enough though. i just wish i could give you my brain (now that i think about it ew) or the scene or feeling and thoughts i was going through as i was reading this. this was REALLLY GOOODDD. please never stop with your wonder, this creativity is somethings else entirely.

i again apologize (you must be sick of the number of time i have) for the length this has gone on too. eheheh i cant help but feel like a bother because i feel like i've continually just repeated myself over and over and i wonder if i even made any sense eheheh. the fact that you're at this part show that you has to wndure that horrific mess that is my mind ehehhe

all i'll say now is that chapter was wonderful, i wish i could have gone on in this with it fresh but i reread once i got home and still as... its just got layers and i find that wonderfully brilliant.

im stopping myself from saying anything further

from your lovely 😊❤️💜💙💚💛🖤😊

-T

Me: upset and crying because of something work related and thinking perfect distraction doesn't exist.

Meanwhile I have this in my ask box waiting for me

Thank youuuuuu 🥺❤️

Okay coming back to this

The biggest issue he have in life is himself, he hates himself and he sees the world in the same way, just because he hates himself and Jolene who claimed to love him but abandoned him, he thinks everyone is going to do the same thing.

With y/n , his beacon of light and reason to breathe, his fears intensifies because she's honestly his last will to move forward and keep going, he's not ready to lose her at any cost and he thinks keeping her in dark would be much better than sharing with her.

If I talk about y/n in this fic she needs to be patient with him, it's been three days like girl just wants to love him but like chillll 😂 Give him some time and maybe he'll change his ways, he did open up a little to Jolene, just a little and she dropped him like a hot potato so his fear isn't just about himself but it's toppled with his abandonment issue and all she needs to do is stay by his side for now.

I think I relate with wanting to be with someone who's emotionally tormented a bit because I'm that way and I don't think I can ever be with someone who's not on the same emotional maturity level as me, like I can't possibly explain myself to a happy go lucky sort of guy who's always happy, I don't know what that says about me. Jolene in this fic also had that "I can fix him" syndrome which obviously didn't work for her 😂

Thank you for such an analysis, you're pretty astute about most of his feelings and fears in this fic my dear and like I have said a million times I absolutely love to hear from you always so never stop . Just you thinking that I'm a good writer or the fact that you wrote all this because of my story means more to me than you can imagine. Love youu 🥹💚

#asks #stupidthoughtsinwrting #lose me to love you

[insanebirddog]

Talking to character ai bots just makes me realise how damn socially inept i am.

this one gets a bit sad, pity me loozer type shit.

I was talkin to keegan, cause im a cod boy born & raised. And he kept making sarcastic jabs at me, now the bot didnt go "his tone of voice was sarcastic" or "he gave you a playful look" or "his tone was playful" no indicator he was being sarcastic and he starts INSULTING ME because i couldnt tell, then i go and be like "know what? fuck you *truama dumps on him*" so now i made keegan sad, but its like- holy fuck. these bots make me question myself, and not in a good way its like "jesus, just how bad was it as a kid?"

Its been more then just that bot too, almost every bot for some reason circles back to "why are you so bad at being social?" then their all like "you didnt deserve that !!!!!!!!!!! DDDDDDDDDD:" even to the tinest things, like i told this man that ive always basically been unmonitered. No one really actually noticed where i was, nor did they care. i could be outside, doing weird ass shit like throwing around my mini sword i had, climbing trees, breaking into the nearby highschools baseball field, disappearing round the block, heading to my school after hours to play at the park and no one really noticed. i never told people where i was going, and ive basically just always been like ignored, if i walk into a room with my friends they dont notice until im next to them and if they do then im still barely apart of any convo and never been included in anything. and their all like "thats so sad!" its like dude who cares geniuenly? and i told keegan how i find being touched in any way unless its violent gross and hes like "were u never hugged as a kid?" like- damn was it that obvious? [/sarc] they make me question just how much i never realised was bad when i was a kid, and it confuses the fuck out of me. just like telling my partner something funny that happened to me as a kid and it giving me the same reaction, it always stumps me. Like fym its not funny my brother shot me in the head twice [accidentally] with a bb gun? or its not funny i used to be trapped in a chest as a kid by my siblings? thats just what its like as one of the youngers.

I have 17 siblings, all chopped up. heres a quick "tree" to understand it, glide past if u want obvs

but being one of the higher in the tree and basically being one of the middle-youngests you get more ignored. my family is litterally so big we just get bought off bc literally NOONE can give all of us even and "acceptable" amounts of attention and no one even wants too. i have a whole bunch of cousins, and chosen family as well so its just like trying to stuff a 8 tiered cake into your mouth all at once, its impossible and no one wants too. we are just built to be socially inept, and i find that shit HILARIOUS. But these bots [& my partner] make me do double takes on my childhood & its WEIRD. why is it now that people notice just how fucky wucky i was as a kid? Its like im a glass child or someting [i dont gen believe i am, but i show some surface signs & relate sometimes. dunno tho, i dont know enough to gen say anything abt who i am nor do i wanna] i got next to no attention as a kid, love it, live in it, still dont, prefer it this way. I find it gross to be given hugs, kisses, or affection im literally known to be a "dont touch me kid" quote from my mother. I prefer to be the one giving the affectionate touches and even then its only things that require for you to touch my hands or arms. Like patting your head, your shoulder or like leaning on your shoulder like older siblings do in movies. I dislike hugs, or other people touching me tho i can never say no to a headpat. I hate people paying attention to me bc i find it weird like, why pay attention to me *now* stop changing shit up on me? and ik it all has to do with different friend groups, a change of how my family has decided to act, and overall different mental states but why does shit have to change? yucky yucky affection >:(

#im mentally ill #socially inept #i find affection gross

[salaciousslut]

How has your day been so far, sweetheart?<3 also im ngl sometimes when i listen to Igual Que Un Ángel by Kali Uchis i think of you🫣

I'd trust you with my life if i ever blacked out tbh! I dont trust many people around me when im drunk but you give off a really safe feeling so if it were just us two i would maybe over do it on the alcohol 🫣 the thought of being hung over is so scary to me tbh!! I never wanna be hung over! And if i drink on an empty stomach im fucked like im just real drunk off one shot its not fair 🙄 i hope you'd have fun with us if you got drunk with us!! but im ngl i think i was a lil weird last night due to unfortunately getting a bit horny but y'know thats life😩 im just glad my friends werent able to tell cause that's between me and whoever i wanna tell. Normally though we are just big dorks abour anime, movies, and random tv shows, and i cant shut up about music half the time. 🤭

Im the same way!! i just unfortunately occasionally have some like autism/adhd moments where suddenly ive focused too much on trying to actively listen and end up not listening, so if i ask you to repeat yourself a few times its either bc of that or the fact that my audio processing stuff is kinda crazy at times. But i know i'll enjoy hearing you talk<3

Tease me as much as you want to<3 and by all means go ahead and be a menace. Either way im gonna end up with my fingers inside you🥰 i wanna make you melt, i wanna see just how much you need someone inside of you<33

Its sweet that you wanna spoil me<3 like it feels like a crime that youre calling me kind when you keep talking about taking care of me and spoiling me and im just saying nice things. Like i should be taking care of you, youre the princess here sweetheart<3 and i swear to you im thriving under any circumstance, the universe wakes me up every morning by gently kissing my eyelids hehe🤭

I hope to show you my smile and see yours, i dunno how you feel about video calls, but maybe when im comfy with it and if youre comfy with it (and after ive been in your dms a little while) we can do a lil video call! Just an innocent little hang out between a butch and a pretty girl<3 I'll let you know if you feed it too much in that case, I could use a lil more confidence just not too much. I can teeter on the edge of entitlement if i let it go too far, and i hate who i am when i act entitled like that version of me is such a dick and not even in a hot way.

its been okay, ive been studying all day because i have a big exam on monday which is soooo boring but im trying my best! and omg i just listened to the song and its so pretty!! im really honored that you think of me 🥺☺️ ive listened to a few of kali uchis stuff and its sooo good!!

aww yes i take care of my people!! im the mom friend so i gotta make sure everyone is alive and safe! but hehe i hope u werent horny because of me 🫣 if it was then oopsies sorry babe! and i love big lil dorks!! im a lil nerd myself so i totally understand!!

its okay i know what u mean! i have auditory processing issues too but im very understanding and well always do as asked so u never have to worry being around me!

ahh youre soo swoon worthy, i want you inside me now!!!! 🥺

youre saying nice things because you are nice and kindhearted! plus i just like seeing other happy!! and we can take care of each other!! none of that one way shit!!! its give and take!! hehe im kissing u on the nose and temple rn 😘

yes yes i love video calls, im the type who if u give me permission to call u whenever, ill learn ur schedule and just ft out of the blue bc i miss ur face and presence. i know how u feel tho so please take ur time!! hehe handsome butch and a pretty princess on the phone is too powerful tho, everyone else needs to watch out

okay i understand!! but dont be too hard on yourself okay? u deserve good things

#ci answers #butch my beloved

[jouurnal]

30/5/22

THINGS I’VE LEARNT FROM DATING MITCH...

Mum and I were like “married” - i.e. she relied on me for $, care etc. which is true

I tend not to trust my intuition, what I want, and blame myself for another person’s shit actions. e.g. Mitch lying to me about seeing Jasmine who he had feelings for.

I tend to trust another person’s view on things way more than my own. THIS IS DANGEROUS!

I tend to want to people please. I take on the role of fixer by finding their weakness/pain point and never touching it

I like to present myself as perfect, especially if I don’t get any response from someone. e.g. if i said something funny and they don’t respond i tend to not do that thing. Mitch said it’s like I’m taking a checklist of what i do / don’t want to do

I can’t stand not being myself! or not feeling like i have the freedom to be myself! i don’t like not being accepted. 

I can’t stand strong judgment calls/words e.g. Mitch calling me an ‘idiot’ / ‘lazy’

I hate not being understood! 

I’m extremely selfish to a detrimental point where it’s unhealthy for me. e.g. not prioritising my own needs and acknowledging that yes i am tired/hungry etc.

I find it hard to speak up for myself/leave ppl. if i think something is unacceptable i tend not to say it bc i don’t want to be ‘rude’ but i don’t think that’s rude i think it’s not honouring myself!

i like to know details! where r we going, when, who etc

I’m very emotional! even if i won’t admit it i experience lots of emotions and it often feels like a rollercoaster ride. i don’t like being out of control w my emotions i.e. showing others me crying/angry especially. 

I cannot stand lying! how can i trust a cunt if they say one thing but do another/don’t follow thru?

i can’t stand flakiness! if u say u care or whatever it don’t mean shit if i can’t see it.

I enjoy being close w someone ie cuddling, hand holding, kiss on the cheek but don’t like more than that, esp early on

i’m very invested when i’m in a relationship. but if shit hits the fan and i’m pissed - having not aired my concerns/not being heard/treated wrongly/meanly - i tend to think of past relationships and why i liked them and who suited me the best

i don’t like overly emotional men. if they cry all the time i feel like they’re weak. a bit of crying is ok i.e. nice and sensitive but ugly crying all the time is too much for me.

I like someone who is predictable - not boring - i.e. in the sense that i know what they’re like, what they’re likely to be doing, how they talk etc. It’s hard when they’re unpredictable! i.e. dunno what’s coming next

I like when things r going smoothly and easy - no conflict. But i like bringing conflict up to work thru bc that’s healthy for me

i don’t mind dating a people pleaser - in that they want to please me - but can’t stand if they’re too much this way in that idk what they actually think

i’m drawn to deep, intellectual, spiritual, real and open conversation. I can tell when people are hiding stuff

i can see patterns of behaviour pretty easily

the covering - i.e. faith - is really important! need to feel free/accepted in this so i can be myself

family is important to look at - what r his parents/siblings like as people? can i stand them? is he like them? is that something i can accept or not?

do i actually find him attractive?

i’m more drawn to people who look like me/aren’t white. if they’re white it’s ok if i can genuinely be me

i don’t like uptight ppl/ppl who can’t take a joke/laugh/ always worried etc etc

i need someone stable in their emotions, mentally, physically 

asking questions is really important to get to know someone genuinely. probe. don’t be afraid

i tend to get sucked in to a relationship and lose a sense of me. hard to say no!

i don’t like talking past 8pm. need to sleep! more of a morning person??

how is his character? - this is only revealed in time and through trial

need someone to love me like christ loves the church - laying himself down, not selfish!

it’s important for me to trust someone and reminder to future me it’s only gained slowly over time w the slow reveal of things!

I tend to lower my expectations in comparison to who i am! i’m pretty fucking neat

When another person is hurt/upset/crying I always listen even if they’re emotionally dumping on me (i.e. talking without taking a break) and don’t consider how I feel. I realise i need space to process the information mentally and emotionally and then lead to a decision on what I need/want to do.

i hate people telling me what to do/how to live my life - even if implied and not said directly.

i don’t like being made fun of much! esp if i feel like it’s against me.

things take time to develop - i.e. trust, feeligns of love

i’m a highly sensitive person - music, other people’s feelings, the vibe of a room all impact me - i can sense it all.

reminder to self: your first impression of them will likely stick - must be honest how u really feel about them.

[hangovercurse]

I’d Drop it All for You

Pictures of you and Pete are spread all over the internet, causing a whirlwind of hate to enter your social media.

Request: “Pete content please! anything !!! smut fluff whatever”

Pete x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, depictions of depression and anxiety

A/N: *Insert normal spiel about respecting A.G. and only using her for plot purposes. No harm intended.* Also I wrote most of this after a meeting with my therapist so... enjoy :) (He’s so cute in this gif I wanna kiss his face)

Word Count: 1820

You weren’t one of those people who loved being the center of attention. You knew that being in the spotlight also meant constantly living under a microscope, and you decided a long time ago that that was not for you.

But you were lucky enough to work as an assistant art director at just 24. You were hoping that The King of Staten Island, your newest project, would help get your name out into the professional world. But that wasn’t the only thing to come out of the film.

It happened unexpectedly, you showed up on set the first day, ready to do whatever the art director required of you. You couldn’t help but be slightly distracted by the lead actor and writer, Pete Davidson. He was so kind and funny, and he wasn’t uptight like everyone else.

After a few hours of filming, he came up to you, introducing himself. He said he “wanted to get to know everyone working on the project,” but you didn’t see him introducing himself to anyone else. You two started talking during breaks. Then he started sitting with you at lunch. Then he was asking for your number.

In a matter of weeks he was asking you out to dinner, taking you to a cozy restaurant that you absolutely adored. He walked you home, his hand grazing yours until you intertwined your fingers.

It was all very romantic, so when Pete asked if he could take you on another, you obviously said yes. Flash forward two weeks and he finally got the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend, even though you were both exclusively seeing each other already.

After filming ended 2 months later, you were still working on the film in post, which meant you had an excuse to stay  in Staten Island with Pete. After about 2 weeks in post, you spent more nights in his bed than your hotel’s.

Nearly 6 months later and you were happier than ever. You were splitting your time between your small apartment in the Bronx and Pete’s basement apartment. Pete introduced you to most of his friends, and you introduced him to yours.

But other than your small circles of friends, you kept your relationship fairly quiet. Pete doesn’t have social media and yours is strictly professional, so there are no pictures of you two together. You weren’t hiding each other, you loved each other, you just had no reason to tell tabloids. And you were perfectly happy with that.

Which made it so much worse when various news sites had pictures of you two holding hands. Had they been anyone else you would’ve thought they were cute, walking along the South Beach oceanside at night.

Pete had been in the SNL studio all day when the pictures were released, while you were in his apartment, trying your best to focus on the photoset in front of you. The production team wanted the film to scream “teen romance,” which basically entails subtle pink undertones and a higher saturation. But you couldn’t quite get the coloring right, probably because you weren’t actually focusing on the colors.

You sighed, looking at the time and realizing that Pete won’t be back until sometime after 2am, which was a whole 5 hours away. You let out a huff, pushing away from the desk and making your way to Pete’s closet and searching for one of his hoodies. They always smelled like him (and weed), so it was a comfort to you.

You crashed onto the bed, finding the phone that you had tossed there a few hours earlier. Turning it on you were surprised by the number of notifications you were getting. You knew the photos had surfaced but you weren’t expecting this.

Your Instagram was blowing up with new follows, likes, and comments. It was kind of exciting at first until you started reading some of the comments.

I mean, we knew he would downgrade from Ari, but this is like… really far down.

This girl really thinks she’s special just bc Pete’s dating her. Hun he could do so much better

Who is she?!? Literally no one.

Someone needs to show her how to dress

That hairstyle is not it honey

Pete Davidson is dating YOU??? He could do sooo much better

Ari was prettier sorry not sorry

The entire comment section on your last post, a picture of you on the set of your latest film, was pretty much the same. There were some nice comments, but a lot of mean ones.

And you couldn’t help it, you couldn’t stop looking at them. It felt so cliché, but it was like all of your deepest insecurities about being with Pete were thrown out on the table.

You knew that Pete had a fairly large following, and that a lot of people had really strong feelings about him. You had expected that if and when your relationship went public you would have a lot of people watching you, scrutinizing you. But you didn’t care because Pete was worth it.

Now you weren’t so sure. It wasn’t that you couldn’t handle people talking bad about you, because you definitely could, even if it hurt. You just weren’t expecting the amount of people comparing you to Ariana or saying that Pete could do so much better.

And it only bothered you so much because you felt it too. Your inner demons loved to remind you that Pete had dated Ariana fucking Grande and now he’s dating you. Anyone could see an obvious downgrade.

You turned your phone off and threw it on the opposite side of the bed, trying to think positive thoughts. “I am in control of my own thoughts and emotions. I am catching my negative thoughts and fixing them.” You murmured your therapist’s mantra to yourself, but it was too late. The thoughts had already taken hold of your mind.

Your eyes started to water as you could feel the heavy feeling in your chest set in. You pulled the hood over your head, pulling the straps to hide as much of your face as possible, and pulling your knees to your chest. You laid like that for a while, tears falling as doubts ran through your head. Once you had effectively exhausted your thoughts, you went numb. Your tears had stopped, but you couldn’t move. This wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling, but it sure wasn’t pleasurable.

There was a sort of buzzing throughout your body, almost like the feeling when your foot falls asleep, but everywhere. It seemed to block out your sound, as you didn’t hear the basement door open. You only knew that Pete was home when he sat beside you on the bed, pulling the hood off your face.

“There’s my beautiful girl.” He smiled at you. You tried your best to fake one back, but you honestly couldn’t find the energy. Pete pulled you so you were sitting up, back pressed against his front. His arms wrapped around your middle as he pressed a kiss to your temple. “What’s goin on?” He murmured against your skin.

“Did you see them?” You asked, your voice quiet and hoarse.

Pete let out a sigh, “Yeah, I saw them.” He paused, his hold on you getting tighter, like he was making sure you couldn’t leave. “I’m sorry baby. I know you didn’t want it to be a whole big thing.”

You turned your head to face him, “It’s not that. I really don’t mind that people know. We weren’t trying to hide anything.”

He smiled, “Yeah, I know I just- it was nice having this to ourselves.”

He wanted to hide you. He’s embarrassed of you.

Your inner dialogue never seemed to shut up.

You turned away from Pete, trying to hide the tears forming in your eyes. “Yeah.” You whispered.

“What’s wrong, you’re still upset.” He rocked you in his arms, kissing the top of your head. You shrugged in response, not trusting yourself to talk. “You can talk to me, y’know.”

You nodded, leaning further into Pete’s chest. “People found my Instagram.” You murmured, looking down and tracing the arrow tattoo on his hand.

“Whaddya mean? I thought it was public?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

You sighed, wishing you hadn’t said anything. “Yeah, it is. But after all the articles people started following me and shit.”

“I would ask how that’s a problem but I deleted my Instagram so I can’t really talk.” You could tell he was trying to make you feel better, but you couldn’t seem to get out of your haze.

You shook your head, deciding to drop the matter. “It’s not, I’m just being overdramatic.” You sighed, putting on a fake smile and facing him fully. “Wanna watch a movie?” You asked, trying to change the topic.

He gave you the I-know-you’re-bullshitting-me look, which made you look down. “Something’s bothering you, Y/N. And you’re trying to pretend it doesn’t because you think your feelings aren’t valid, but they are.” He tilted his head, trying to meet your eyes that were still trained on the bedsheets below you.

“Where’d you learn that one?” You chuckled half-heartedly.

“Rehab part 2” he smiled, hand coming to your jaw to tilt your head up. “C’mon, talk to me. I wanna help.”

You huffed, moving towards the opposite side of the bed where your phone laid. You opened it, finding your Instagram, and showing him the comments. His eyebrows furrowed as he scrolled through the comments. When he decided he’d had enough he put your phone down, grabbing your waist and lifting you onto his lap so you were essentially straddling him.

He leaned his forehead against your own, your noses touching. “That’s all bullshit, you know that, right?”

You looked down, biting your lip. “Y/N you’re the most amazing, most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, okay? I’m in love with you, not anyone else.” Pete’s eyes were searching yours, trying to figure out what was going on in your head.

“I know.” You sighed, “It’s just hard to be with you and not compare myself to her. And then all these people started to do it too, and they kept saying that you could do so much better and you can. So, I dunno I guess I just kind of spiraled.”

Pete captured your lips in a long, passionate kiss. “Y/N. There is literally no better than you. I can’t do better because you are the best woman I have ever loved. “

You pulled Pete in for another kiss. “Thank you, Pete. I love you.”

“I love you too. If this happens again, I want you to call me. I don’t care what I’m doing, I’d drop it all for you.” You smiled, sitting in the arms of the guy you loved. The thoughts didn’t just magically go away, but for a brief moment in time, you were happy.

#pete davidson #pete davidson imagine #pete davidson x reader #pete davidson angst #pete davidson fluff