insanebirddog

[insanebirddog]

[insanebirddog]

Hey chatters i just remembered something cool, i do art commisions

[i do like 1$-3$ per picture]

Heres some art ive done, i dont got a big portfolio or whatev bc i recently rebranded & most my art has my old watermark on it lol.

I can only really use cash app which ill give if u actually want a comm from me

#digital artist #open commissions #artist

[insanebirddog]

I love thinking abt how I just want my mother to be proud of me/tell me things like that then she does and its just like "ew wtf?"

Like I get what I want & its just like "Can I go back to a few seconds ago before you dared to say that to me?"

Or the fact that im literally 'jokingly' called the dont-touch-me kid bc im verbal abt hating touch and dont let ppl touch me much/am not physical then my mom/family offers me hugs [ this is not a normal behaviour of theirs which makes these situations even weirder ]

Its funny to think bc its a grass is always greener moment, I hate when i dont get affection & hate it more when i do.

#im mentally ill #silly little guy #i am sane /j

[insanebirddog]

Im writing a story & can someone tell me why when i went to do my favorite thing for story creation [ character refs ] my motivation basically died out?

[ im thuggin it out ive already spent 10-ish hours on this bitch ass oneshot and I refuse to give it up now ]

#im mentally ill #writing #character design

[insanebirddog]

since the old version of this post was flagged for 'adult content'...

reblog this post if your account is a trans safe space or owned by a trans person!

along with that, reblog if your account is a trans non-binary spectrum safe space or owned by someone on the trans enby spectrum!

[insanebirddog]

oopsies my hand slipped [i deleted tumblr off my phone so now i dont post much bc i am to lazy to log in on my computer]

Anywayyyy

i wanna get into boxing like SO bad chat, literally is a spot based around violence and is the best one for me to get into as someone whos not in school [ love being a drop-out /sarc ]

and did i mention the violence? like, im not bragging this is a negatitve thing for me to have but i have a lot of violent tendencies, it is really bad genuinely. So im hoping this'll be a good outlet for me once ive got the money to pay for my fighting class [ is actually unrelated to the boxing class, but is something else i wanted to mention. ] and to get into boxing! and by that i need to get a job & quick before i run out of motivation to start persuing this bc it gen gen gen gen gen gen gen gen gen could be a huuuuge help 2 me.

#boxing #sports #im mentally ill

[insanebirddog]

Remind me next time im offered to go on a trip with this part of my family remind me to refuse as if someone just offered me poison, i am loosing my fuckin mind here

Like, the adults ive got massive bad blood with, a couple of em i dont even know so i dont talk to em

One of the kids [hes my cousin] needed to get stitches and his mom [my aunt] wouldnt stop screaming at him abt how he ruined everything and it wasnt even his fault.

But also on the topic of these absolute NIGHTMARE kids

The 11 yr old is the worst,

Doesnt listen to no, constantly hits his sisters, screams, cries over everything, doesnt know how to stop complaining, is the dullest lightbulb in the box.

Like dude literally tried to break his sisters arm bc she said some random rude shit. I told her off [bc i was babysitting] and then he went and tried to attack her several times literally back to back. I got him to sit down and he'd immediately get back up and go back to trying to hit her

The second oldest idk how old,

Keeps starting verbal fights with the 11 yr old and then uses it as an excuse to get him in trouble bc he got angry, also cant listen to no, and also cant stop crying.

The youngest

Is touchy as hell, cant listen to no and cries over everything but shes the best acting kid and is to young to understand everything properly so i get it, not mad at that kid but i am one of those "dont touch me" kids so that parts just overwhelming

Plus this place is a whole lot diff then my home, going places everyday, eating more then once a day, hanging with other groups of people daily all that.

They legit managed to kill my social battery so hard i havent even sent messages to my disc server, or mother, or even had a proper convo with my partner. Imma need like a whole month after this trip, and ive never felt more dysphoric.

[insanebirddog]

Story idea!

Ok, hello! so, i have a story idea and i have zero clue if i should ever make it a reality. Im jus gonna share it here cause i can, and if youd like to see this made into an actual project there'll be a poll thing you can click on.

The basic thing is its abt trauma, the effects, responses, coping mechs [bad and good], how its different for each person even if they go through the same thing, and that basically no matter if someone has it worse ur response/trauma is still valid. and itll also focus on mental illness, making sure not to romantisice or stereotype it, since ppl seem to think you can only act/look a certain way if you have a specific mental illness. i think you get it, yeah?

so instead of characters, i was thinking i could do a dnd type session thing with a group of people, because i havent been through everything and cant acturatlly describe anybody elses responses theyd always be effected by how i cope/act, so id put a group together and it'd basically be group therapy but cooler. I've always hated group therapy tbh, but this sounds like something i wouldnt actually dred. for the people/players of the session they would have their own character designs, made by them thats basically a physical manifestions of their traumas and the effect it had on them. we'd say we're put in a specific situation, seeing how youd react to it, and basically just cool ways of helping w/ trauma and shit for the players. when the sessions are done, each person/player would write or animate how the session went, from their perspective. how they thought others felt, how they themself felt, what happened, yada yada you get it. basically, journalling how the session went. what helped in certain situations what didnt, and i think it'd be cool to have each player not share said journaling with other people in the project just so its to see how everyone reacted do to truama responses and all that, ofc if theres any "i thought this person was really upset with me/angry at me" or "this thing someone else did hurt me" it'll be resolved next session or behind the scenes if people want that instead. and ofc to keep it from being stressful/anxiety giving/uncomfortable we'll have light hearted sessions too, that also storywise reminds you life goes on no matter what, even if you yourself arent focused on the present. now ofc, theres quite a few ways this idea can go toxic for the group so i'll always have to put precausions in place like if a sessions getting too heated ill have to put it on pause and basically be THE therapist friend and all that but thats easy.

if i ever do make this a reality im ofc gonna have to think of ways to not retruamatize people, how each situation thing would work, and the overall story-line would have to be made but i think yall get it. this is just the very base of the basic idea, i daydream abt it all the time. I feel like for me personally, id have a better experience with something like this rather then normal group therapy.

Sadly, i cant do more then keeping this poll going for a week, i dont have the people to focus on my rambles to know if this would actually be a good idea but i say fuck it we ball, ill send it to the disc server lol

#childhood truama #trauma #mental illness #story #writing #animation #story ideas #project ideas #tumblr polls

[insanebirddog]

How tf did my twitch/yt/tiktok/discord communities all become full of ppl 2 to 7 years younger then me? What about me and my content screams "FOR PRETEENS & ABOVE" like no, gimmie more 16-18 or even 16-20 please 😭😭😭

Im 17 and started my online existence at 12 [took a break at 13-15] so i get my used to be community being around that age but ITS STILL THE FUCKING SAME </3

And im so upset bc i cant exist how i want online with my child audience i didnt ask for

#rambles #im not actually really upset its funny to me #pls save me

[insanebirddog]

THERES SEX IN MY HORROR GAME [im playing an itch.io game called duality]

Its a happy day for the monsterfuckers

#duality game #monster fucker #whore for horror

[insanebirddog]

My grandfather just handed me a knife, said it was basically collecting dust in his garage and its mine now.

So, meet goblinshark! My actual divers knife. And have bullshark, my fake divers knife & used to be largest knife in my collection next to goblinshark! My now largest knife in the collection

#knife collection #tw knife #divers knife

[insanebirddog]

GUESS WHAT? I GOT A NEW KNIFE >:3 [the black one that says police]

Its just like the one my brother gave me, which is the pink one!

Im also taking this opportunity to show yall my whole collection of knifes! Not all my weapons tho :3

#tw knife #knife collection #idk how to tag this

[insanebirddog]

Yall, i went on twitter bc i wanted to see everyones responses to whatever wilburs "apology" is [im waiting for tommys, i think ive seen everyone elses besides phils?]

I fully stand with everyone dragging will right now, bro used to be one of my fav youtubers & i loved the music from lovejoy/watched every sorryboys vid. Did unfollow/remove all his music so i dont support him anymore at all, hope the people in my community do the same.

But can someone tell me why in the comments on his twitter post i found someone saying "i might be one of the only people to forgive you-" shut it? Like rnrn sew your mouth shut and cut off your fingers bc your not a victim here? Who are you to forgive anything? You are not shelby, or a direct victim of wilburs domestic abuse so can you tell me who the FUCK you think you are? "I believe in second chances-" Id get saying that for when he said the t-slur [if youre a trans person], but DOMESTIC ABUSE? And everyone saying "its not our relationship, why is everyone going crazy over this? Its not our buisness-" HES AN ABUSER HOMIE? I dont know about you, but i want to be notified when someone online that i follow and love is an abuser? Pls thanks and fuck you. It isnt our buisness to meddle in peoples relationships no, but this is a literal garbage human being we're talking about here, i dont want to support him or people like him and shelby deserves support. Like this isnt just a little squabble they got over, or shelby making a whole deal out of nothing ITS DOMESTIC ABUSE YOU SHITHEAD.

I am elated to see how much he is getting DRAGGGED tho, its like, full fist of his hair against gravel and glass dragging his bitch ass for miles.

#willbur soot #dunno what to tag this #ranting-ish

[insanebirddog]

HELLOOOO. Im here to complain, because i can.

Recently got my snakebites repierced and noticed that one side of my mouth scarred REAAALLL BAD, like its a bump in my mouth now and the peircings hole on the inside of my mouth is in a different place then the first time, the scars are above my snakebite jewelery and keep rubbing/getting stuck on it and my gums it was [ audible sobbing ]

WHAT MAKES IT WORSE

Is the piercer

1. Pierced it different then anyone else in the shop, he used the needle, then a metal bar, THEN the jewelry. Normally its just needle then jewelry and his equipment was wet and felt like literal fire i hated it. I liked him cause we were vibin but it hurt like a whore and a half [we've gotten 3-4 different piercings at this shop not including my snakebite repierce so i was expecting it to be the same as always]

2. Bro literally put jewelry that was CLEARLY to small for my lip in. It was like, it was so little, i have very obviously medium-ish sized lips and the jewlery was small even before the swelling, and the scartissue decided it wanted to eat the jewelry

3. FUCKING FLATBACK DUMBELLS I HATE THEM!!! I much prefer to have a ball on both sides, more damaging to my teeth or not bc flatbacks just try to go through my skin/or skin tries to heal over the flatback.

It hurt, not as much as i thought and i literally struggled so bad to get the flatback jewelry out that i almost cried bc my skin kept trying to eat the jewlery/the jewelry being to small to get out of my lip without swelling.

This was actually made just to bash flatback jewlery, i get for some its the better option but i think it could burn in the fiery pits of every ring of hell because it is gross yucky yuck icky wicky shit. Worse then gum below my shoe, i am #1 hater of it.

#snakebite piercing #piercing #jewelery

[insanebirddog]

Chat m confused by people

I saw someone say [not direct quote it was several different times so its an overall thing] "why do girls wanna work when i am so much happier being a stay at home wife?" "Why do girls think its empowering to dress like a slut?"

I am a [trans] dude so i dont fully understand how it is for fem ppl, but i slightly get it.

Girls dont just wanna work 9-5s, be single, never have kids, and dont hate men for being men.

Girls want a choice to live their life however, not be trapped as a trad-wife and trad-wife only, wanna have a choice to stay kidless or not, and horrid people. [ Side-note "Its not all men" people piss me off, like yeah its not ALL men but i need to assume that for my safety, because its to many men. Thats just like saying "its not ALL sharks" and pretending like im not supposed to be scared of them, sharks are even better then people bc they dont even bite people on purpose unless its bullsharks/makos & a few others cause theyre violent.]

Its not to all become "girl boss", single, childless, OF person.

Its to have a fucking choice? Like how do you not understand that its just to choose how you live? You can choose to be a trad-wife, you can choose to be a of person?

Its just like saying bc gay people want basic human rights is saying they want everyone to be gay, shits stupid asf

#people r wack #i dunno what tags to add #mysogony is stupid

[insanebirddog]

I got my snakebites repierced for the first time >:3

Burnt more then it hurt, overall pain was like a 5/10

I cant wait until the swelling goes dow bc i HATE the flat backed piercing jewelery, i preffer a ball on each side it feels so much safer & comfty

#snake bite piercing

[insanebirddog]

Non-kidfriendly language in this one folks

I kinda wanna make one of those adorable little headers that are there to decorate posts, theyre so cute.

Im trying to make sure that when i tag my discord users that i made another tumblr post the ones that dont wanna see the things m abt to say dont have too.

Anyways chat, listen. M watchin the mean one, and this is how you really get my dick hard like DAMN. Comedy and horror? Blood guts and death + holiday movie that follows hallmark type movies and normal christmas movie standards like main love interest, and typical lady main character that is the awkward Christmas movie lady but she is BAD ASS? I love the scenes in this, this dude literally uses some chicks head like a mop, and kills a guy who was sexually harassing a waitress? Love him. I love how every horror movie is always taking a dig at the police like "fuck them cops they dont do SHIT till everyones dead" horror movies r so acab. I am adoring how they make sure to show atleast a little trauma, like her getting scared at the littlest things and the dad & main characters relationship??? Her going all out and being "fr, fuck the police. Ill kill this bitch myself"

Love when women get to be strong in movies, especially in horror movies bc i rarely see it. Its always like they flail around and have luck on their side but this bitch [/pos] is all training to deal with the monster and stuff, i am LOVING this movie. I am always down for a horror movie

#whore for horror #horror movies #horror #im mentally ill