#and hope it dulls the pain

[yellobb]

I just want to lie down and cuddle with my mom, but she hasn’t been sleeping well and she has work in the morning. I just want to be held

#m rambles #god I’m emotional tonight #I think the move is finally starting to get to me #I’m a fucking wreck right now #my heart aches so badly #why can’t I have more time? #I’m not ready to go yet #I feel just like I did when I turned 18 #that grief of lost childhood #but now it’s just the grief of losing a home #and I know I can always come back home #hell I’ll definitely be home for thanksgiving if not earlier #my family isn’t going anywhere #my childhood home will still be standing in the two months when I come back to visit #just like how I didn’t actually lose anything when 11:59pm became 12am on my 18th birthday #but god everything hurts #I don’t remember feeling like this when I went to college and that would technically have been my first big move #so I just gotta try to remind myself that I’ll be okay #that I’ll have to wait even less time to see my family again than I did when I left for school every year #and hope it dulls the pain

[blackkatdraws2]

I have a lot of leftover drawings in my gallery. [Blank Scripts AU]

[Content Warning: Images below contain Gore, Death, and Disturbing/Uncomfortable Imagery]

I find it a bit cute knowing they start out as crazy and then slowly settle into something calmer and relatively healthier after learning to adapt to each other's lust-turned-love. [Stanley did it first but hey :3]

#tsp blank scripts au #they love each other [genuinely] theyd rather die if theyre to go without each other by this point #hhmmm I hope the last few images arent too damning #These two go through a lot during the progression of their relationship #and I wanted to showcase that yknow? #theyre demented but theyre just perfect for each other kind of way #lovingly tearing each other apart and rebuilding each other to do it over and over again #repeating this dull process of endings over and over and finding ways to keep themselves entertained #this place was never even meant to be fun #but now that theyve gotten entangled with each other #they cant help but want to play around #even if its just for a little bit? #work can continue later right? #they love each other a little bit too much they actually need to be put in a separate cage #like a spider and a praying mantis #is it painful? yes. is it fun? also yes. do they like doing it only to each other and nobody else? YES. #their psych is genuinely so fun to explore and dissect #I had a lot of fun making these despite how deranged they look #something about them.... it drives both to do things they would never even consider doing to anybody else... but towards each other #you know what i mean? or am i just yapping nonsense again. #horror #the stanley parable #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #tsp #tspud #tsp au #tsp narrator #narrator tsp #stanley tsp #tsp stanley

[jazz-kitty]

his hungry ass could never be a licensed doctor

#pokemon rejuvenation #isha halvard #jazzart #i hope you guys realize how much it pains me to have to color isha in super dull washed out colors because its fitting #when i love using bright saturated warm colors all the time every day 24/7 :'(

[rarilight]

Eight months in after trying to ignore the chunk of my heart I lost earlier this year and now starting to quietly wonder if maybe all there is to do is accept these phantom pains, let them be, let them breathe, and god maybe one day let them leave

#breathing in and out realizing my heart yearns for something I will never have again #accepting that there is nothing to be done #that it’s over and done and there’s nothing to be done #with as much certainty that to try to hope would be as futile as the shoreline trying to hold on to the sea #so here I am now #the pain of months before that almost killed me now a dull ache #phantom pains #ever there

[unreadpoppy]

My parents said they would take me to the emergency tomorrow, after my exam (bc now it’s kinda late to go), so I just have to survive until then

#I took a painkiller and it dulled the pain a bit #but still sometimes it stings #and like I can also feel like in the very back of my jaw/tongue #and it also caused headaches for a bit #aaaaa #what if I just guess everything on that exam tomorrow and hope for the best

[ivan-fyodorovich-k]

Went to a used bookstore the other day and picked this up

Went to put it on the shelf at home

Sigh

At least they’re different editions

#my books #on a related note I really hope that whatever happened with the sphinx hasn't ruined used bookstores for me #sucks to have something somewhat specific in common with someone who then rejects you #and then you have to like #break the association between that thing you like and that person #it happens with time #but man #so much of life is just...enduring pain #just weathering the suffering and waiting for it to dull #but something new always comes up

[todayisafridaynight]

I need help; I’ve gotten into Ryu Ga Gotoku, I’ve developed all kinds of emotions over Nishiki, now I’m in too deep and I can’t get out😭😭😭

you should play the rest of the games :) that's my doctor's advice :)

#snap chats #or watch or however you consume RGG #if you play/watch the other games you can become attached to more characters and then the nishiki pain will dull #until inevitably someone reminds you of what happened <3 hope this helps <3 #if you already have uhhhhhhhhhh sorry nishiki's love's terminal bro 😔

[kos-mos]

Man I've been blaming my back pain the past two days on just chronic pain, but I'm starting to think I might've fully pulled a muscle lifting groceries the other day

#like the chronic pain is definitely there #and it's definitely bad #but that's more of like a dull hot pain #and i have like this stabbing pain in a specific spot on the left side of my back #either way reaaaally hoping it eases up tomorrow after i get some rest #it's probably gonna have to be a lazy week for me #which is annoying because i just got all this food i gotta cook hh #at least theyre p easy meals #delete later maybe?

[tinyspringtrap]

ough im getting symptoms and problems again why me man why can't I just live my life

#sassy says #this is awful my intestines feel like garbage #there's just this constant dull discomfort and occasional pain #and sometimes a little nausea pops in to say hello recently #i miss having a functional digestive system fucking hell #every time i get some stupid ass intestinal symptoms I have to once again grapple with the fear #that my luck is shit and i have landed that one in a million chance of my digestive tract redeveloping the blockage i had as a kid #im not strong enough to do that again man. im just not. #why cant i just have a functional digestive system fuck my LIFE dude #im not even sure how that would go if i got it again either... like would they be able to be more preemptive about it? #or would it be another year of dancing around a bunch of bullshit if it didnt show up on imaging and tests again #would they have to cut out even MORE of my intestine? #would they have to cut in a different place to get to it on account of the scar tissue thats already there?? #god i hope its just my intestines acting up a little or some minor issue that can be easily treated #if not then... they'd better be willing to yeet my uterus if they gotta go in again im tired of this stupid thing #it causes me nothing but pain and i am tired of it #however the doctor i talked to about removing it brought up an actual valid point that wasnt just 'but BABIES????????????' #and that point was that the scar tissue from my surgery as a kid #due to the placement of it #could cause problems during such a procedure that might not be optimal #which i never thought about before but she is right and i can accept that reasoning!! because it is an actual genuine concern!! #and not just 'but what if you want to pop out children????' #so yeah if they gotta go in again anyways at any point they best be yeeting this bitch but hopefully it doesnt come to that #because recovering from intestinal surgery sucks for one #and also because i am NOT keen on having another tube down the back of my nose and throat. that was so fucking miserable my god. #personal shit #personal bullshit #i ranted more than i meant to if you actually read the tags have a cookie and an apology #i just need to vent it out sometimes u can ignore it if u want

[majicmarker]

things i had planned for the week:

wrap up july’s work projects

a bunch of new book promos for jailbait and shoot your shot so i’d have them on standby to post whenever

complete outlines for my next two books

filthy-but-emotionally-fraught eddissy one-shot

part 3, chap 2 of the hs eddissy series

things that i will not be getting done now thanks to the side effects of this recurring ocular migraine:

all of that

(except for work bc that Needs to get done)

((and tbf the book stuff also Needs to get done, but there’s just no way for me to manage that rn))

#pls excuse the ennui my vision’s warped af and there’s an ongoing dull pain behind my eyes #v frustrated and miserable #so YES i am posting links to my books and my fic bc this is as much work as i can hope to get done on that front this week #bc yes i might be able to pick at projects here and there this week #but i know the drill here and mostly i’m just going to be achey and upset #so just let me self-promo with the least possible effort here pls #first my insomnia shows up again now this!!!! #and i know i Know how this goes it’s the same every year #but i am simply in no mood to once again rearrange my life to deal w these symptoms #ugh ugh ugh #listen there’s a lot happening here ik just bear with me #the babbling maj

[hearties-circus]

My thighs hurt like fuck for no reason

#gamer txt. #was hoping the pain would dull over time but it hasnt

[wetslug]

.

#medical update friday hehehehe #its been a week now and the drainage from my incision is finally starting to calm down #i still have to change the gauze out a couple times a day but its not soaking thru anymore #and it hasnt bled in a couple days #i still have this constant dull aching pain when sitting or walking and sometimes i have sharp pain that radiates across my ass askdjaskajk #which uhhhh i hope is not permanent and is just due to the nerves regrowing or smth #but overall i survived the first week without any accidents or my incision getting reinfected

[orcelito]

Me describing my back pain earlier today: awright so it feels to me like someone has grasped my spine along my lower back and is Squeezing but I need to verbalize this in a way that's less metaphoric and more literal bc if I put that they would get the wrong idea of it being a Pressure pain but No, it just feels like Tension and Pain and I have a hand in my mind causing that, but the doctor Would Not Get That, so-

#speculation nation #me being a writer is great sometimes but as it turns out metaphorical descriptions wont get you very far in a practical setting #i put effort into being like. 'it's a dull pain... but sometimes sharp if i lift something heavy.' #put that it feels like Weakness bc i cant lift things without pain. i think that's what that metaphorical pressure is #idk man i dont like the feeling in my back and it's been like this for Months #i hope the doctor can do smth about it so i havent permanently fucked up my back for life lol #im a little huddle gremlin who am i if i cant huddle????? #someone who Sits like a Normal Person??? absolutely not!!!!! #i still huddle it just brings me pain lol #but if doing so would just make it worse... maybe i Would have to change my behavior... #unfortunate but possible reality. im only getting older. i cant be a huddle gremlin forever. #but for the next week at least!!!! i'll be living it up!!!!! huddles to the max!!!! except maybe not bc that hurts!!!! #huddles to a reasonable minimal pain level for the sake of huddles that do not fuck me over!!!! hopefully!!!!!!! #injury ment/

[actual-corpse]

I played Skyrim today.

#its a big deal lads #i havent touched it since the fight that led to my break up.... and this is the first time I thought about that night in months #and it stings a bit.... like a healing bruise thats still just a bit purple but nearly gone #its on the Switch tho... I havent touched my PS4... but I dont have it with me so... Idk #what a dull pain... Mostly sad for the girl who got hurt and not the me who has moved on... poor baby #ugh.... I've hurt so many people.... and I've been able to run from them to heal all involved except myself... #I'm so mean to me... And that's why I wear crop tops and sleep naked and eat fish and love my cat and just do things I enjoy... #amd slowly we can begin to heal and be happy #when I start standing up for me more.... Its all over for you bitches!!! Watch out cus Im close!!! #im healing #and #it feels so good #I had no fucking idea that Shavari follows you around Riften and makes dealing with Brand-Shei difficult #i just shoveled Vampire Dust into my face and hoped for the best.... Didnt know that freak ass cat was following me #IVE PLAYED HOW MANY FUCKING HOURS AND NEVER KNEW?! #killed Heimskr didnt get caught but still had the Dark Brotherhood sent after me #havent encountered Nazeem yet.... Intend to kill his ass when he opens his mouth #I. Will. Not. Kill. Partysnax. Havent met him yet tho... Cam you kill Delphine??? #i wanna marry Farkas SOOOO BAD... Hes such a cutie! and hes so sweet #skyrim

[rileyslibrary]

After suffering a gunshot wound, you wake up in a hospital bed with Ghost sitting by your side. Unfortunately, the effects of anaesthesia leave you unable to recognise him and, worse, confuse him with someone else.

A/N: Fluff. Based on a request I received a while ago. Hope you like it, anon!

———————————————————————

A machine on your left beeps rhythmically. The taste of something metallic lingers in your mouth, and the iodine smell stinks your nostrils. Your eyes open slowly, but the bright ceiling light forces them shut again. You lick your lips and attempt to swallow a couple of times. Dry. Your mouth is dry. You need water. Your hand moves towards your face, but a low, raspy voice advises you against it.

“Careful now,” it says, and a hand gently grabs your wrist. “Don’t pull the IV off.”

You turn your head towards the figure beside you and squint. It’s a man, but your blurry vision doesn’t help you identify him. Your eyes travel to your wrist and focus on the closest part of him: a skeleton’s hand.

You try to shake your hand off his grip, but it turns out futile. Frustrated, you give up and raise your middle finger at him.

“Not my time yet,” you declare. “Fuck off.”

“Pardon?” he asks.

“Not ready to go yet,” you reply, tucking your middle finger in your palm and lifting it back up again. “And also, fuck off.”

The man releases your wrist, placing your hand gently beside you. He clears his throat and leans forward. Though your vision remains blurry, you spot what looks like a human skull with a hood over it.

“How are you feeling, love?” he asks, his tone softer.

“How am I feeling, love?” you repeat. “Did Hell improve their customer service?”

“I’m not-” The man begins but pauses. He sighs, shakes his head and rests his elbows on his thighs. “Never mind.”

“Where am I?” You ask.

“Hospital.” He replies. “You took a bullet.”

Directing your attention to your body, you feel a dull throb in your chest. You wince as your fingers brush against the bandages.

“You are joking.” You reply and slap your hand on the bed. “Why? How?”

“Well,” He says and tilts his head to the side. “You exchanged a few shots with the enemy, your gun ran out of bullets, his didn’t, and here we are.”

“My gun?” You ask, shocked. “I have a gun?”

“Several.” He nods.

“SEVERAL?” You shout. “Why would I possibly need several guns?”

“It’s your job, love.” He replies.

“My job is to have several guns?” you ask. “And shooting at people?”

“I wouldn’t put it that way,” he explains, “but it’s mainly for defence.”

“Well,” you shrug and wince at the pain. “Doesn’t look like I’m that good at defence—especially for having several guns.”

“I was really worr—”

“Water,” you interrupt and gesture at your mouth. “I need water.”

“Doctor said it’s not the time for water yet,” he replies.

“Why?” you ask, pretending to check a non-existent wristwatch. “What time is it?”

“No, love,” he replies and muffles a chuckle. “Doctor said you need to wait until you have some water.”

“You throw the ‘love’ thing a little too freely,” you mumble, licking your lips and lifting your index finger. “I’d be really careful if I were you.”

“Really?” he asks, leaning back into the chair and crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Why?”

“I,” you say and point at yourself, “got a boyfriend, thank you very much.”

“Oh,” he exclaims and tilts his head. “Is that so.”

“Yup,” you nod. “And he can kill you.”

“Can he?”

“Can?” You say, and a smug smile forms on your dry lips. “He will absolutely, one hundred and a thousand per cent kill you.”

“Is he that good?” He asks.

“I mean,” you shrug, motioning at the bandages on your chest. “He’s much better than I am.”

“Oh wow,” he exclaims and leans forward. “Is he as good of a boyfriend as he is a shooter?”

“Far from it,” you reply, letting your hand fall to your side.

The man doesn’t speak. He doesn’t seem that comfortable all of a sudden. He shuffles in his chair, trying to find a better position, and when he does, he clasps his hands together.

“Go on,” he finally says. “Spill it.”

“Ok, so,” you begin, “first things first, he doesn’t listen to me when I want to vent, and whenever he does, all he says is nonsense.”

“The lad gives you solutions,” he snaps, “and you call them nonsense?”

“I don’t want solutions, man,” you reply, shaking your head. “I want him to just listen to me.”

“Even if the solutions he provides are literally the answers to your suffering?”

“Even then.” You confirm.

“Gotcha,” he nods. “What else?”

“Oof,” you sigh, “how much time do you have?”

“I’m immortal,” he reminds you, “plus the next reaping is in five hours.”

“Oh boy,” you reply. “Business not going that well lately, huh?”

“Not many deaths to take care of,” he spits. “I guess some people could use some serious training when it comes to their aim.”

“Speaking of training,” you say, “he’s always at work and never spends much time with me.”

“The guy’s trying to spend as much time with you as he can, for fucks sake!” he shouts, throwing his hands up. “He even lied to get you on his team!”

“How do you know he put me on his team?” You ask.

“I keep a close eye on him.” He replies.

“What did he lie about?”

“Your precision in aiming,” he jokes and motions for you to continue. “Next one.”

“I can’t think of anything else,” you reply. “Other than he doesn’t say how much he loves me.”

“You’re having a laugh now, aren’t you?” He says, and his tone feels almost threatening. “He’s showing it to you daily; offering advice, keeping you close to him, even risking the possibility of being accused of nepotism for crying out loud! He doesn’t need to say it as well for you to know it!”

“It’s just nice to hear it sometimes,” you sigh and twist a thread from the bed sheet. You turn your head slightly toward him, and he lowers his head to the ground.

“How about you?” You ask. “You have a girlfriend?”

“I do,” he confirms.

“Shut up!” You shout, widening your eyes and immediately closing them back again. “Where did you guys meet?”

“Hell,” he replies. “Right in the pits of it.”

“How is she?” You ask.

“Perfect.” He states.

“Bullshit,” you murmur. “No one’s perfect.”

“She is to me.” He says, shrugging.

“Do you love her?” You ask.

“Absolutely,” he replies, nodding slowly. “One hundred and a thousand per cent I do.”

———————————————————————

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x f!reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost riley x female reader #simon ghost riley x y/n #simon ghost riley #simon riley x you #simon riley x y/n #simon riley x f!reader #simon riley x female reader #call of duty #modern warfare 2 #simon riley #cod mwii #cod ghost #ghost call of duty #simon ghost riley fanfiction #simon ghost riley fic #simon ghost riley fluff

[jumpingalpacas]

im finally past jogging and my body can stand running at an actual running pace but i just need my shitty asthmatic lungs on the same page as my other muscles

#had a terrible pain in my side yesterday but today just a dull ache so i had to stop slightly early #BUT i did like 2/3 of my run by that point so its better than i hoped for