#every time i get some stupid ass intestinal symptoms I have to once again grapple with the fear

[tinyspringtrap]

ough im getting symptoms and problems again why me man why can't I just live my life

#sassy says #this is awful my intestines feel like garbage #there's just this constant dull discomfort and occasional pain #and sometimes a little nausea pops in to say hello recently #i miss having a functional digestive system fucking hell #every time i get some stupid ass intestinal symptoms I have to once again grapple with the fear #that my luck is shit and i have landed that one in a million chance of my digestive tract redeveloping the blockage i had as a kid #im not strong enough to do that again man. im just not. #why cant i just have a functional digestive system fuck my LIFE dude #im not even sure how that would go if i got it again either... like would they be able to be more preemptive about it? #or would it be another year of dancing around a bunch of bullshit if it didnt show up on imaging and tests again #would they have to cut out even MORE of my intestine? #would they have to cut in a different place to get to it on account of the scar tissue thats already there?? #god i hope its just my intestines acting up a little or some minor issue that can be easily treated #if not then... they'd better be willing to yeet my uterus if they gotta go in again im tired of this stupid thing #it causes me nothing but pain and i am tired of it #however the doctor i talked to about removing it brought up an actual valid point that wasnt just 'but BABIES????????????' #and that point was that the scar tissue from my surgery as a kid #due to the placement of it #could cause problems during such a procedure that might not be optimal #which i never thought about before but she is right and i can accept that reasoning!! because it is an actual genuine concern!! #and not just 'but what if you want to pop out children????' #so yeah if they gotta go in again anyways at any point they best be yeeting this bitch but hopefully it doesnt come to that #because recovering from intestinal surgery sucks for one #and also because i am NOT keen on having another tube down the back of my nose and throat. that was so fucking miserable my god. #personal shit #personal bullshit #i ranted more than i meant to if you actually read the tags have a cookie and an apology #i just need to vent it out sometimes u can ignore it if u want