#but still sometimes it stings

[unreadpoppy]

My parents said they would take me to the emergency tomorrow, after my exam (bc now it’s kinda late to go), so I just have to survive until then

#I took a painkiller and it dulled the pain a bit #but still sometimes it stings #and like I can also feel like in the very back of my jaw/tongue #and it also caused headaches for a bit #aaaaa #what if I just guess everything on that exam tomorrow and hope for the best

[madamescarlette]

don't you love when you're like, okay now I'm going to leave this sorrow in the old year so I don't turn into a crotchety bitter person over it, and then you walk on feeling all refreshed and bright no longer carrying it on your shoulders, but then the sorrow wanders after you like a child who was lost in the supermarket weeping its eyes out and it says to you where did you GO I was lost! I was lost and I missed you!!! and you can only sigh and take it by its hand and say to it very well. here's your seat. I'm sorry I left you behind, I promise it was with the best of intentions, but I want to do my best by you, so let's sit together and try to figure out what you're saying to me.

#thinking out loud #i'm truly like. ok i'm mostly fine i'm a little bit going through it because it's harshest month of winter and it's always weird this month #but i just think it's so funny that i have to be like OH you don't suddenly stop....hurting over something because you decided to! #if you were missing someone who was important to you two months ago by golly you probably still will two months from then!! #weird how that be! anyway #it's funny to me because it's like the opposite of object impermanence #i used to think i was all heart no head and that there's a part of me that went hard in the opposite direction to counteract that #but i am still as much as heart as i ever was except now i have my logical side going yip yip girl we gotta go!!! let's go!!! #and the heart is like holding up a shakey hand going oh lads you go on without me...i just need to catch my breath for like....15 years #anyway anyway. the narrative is indeed kind but that doesn't mean that it doesn't sting sometimes #but! we can do the best that we can and take our troubles by their hands and learn what we can from them and it will all be okay in the end #(i hope this post isn't too complainy or miserable. i may take it down later but i feel the need to say it somewhere.) #regardless of that. happy Friday my friends I love you all dearly bless you for being near me <3 <3

[wildstar25]

I2 or A1 for that pose meme? Whichever one you wanna do more.

polyam pose meme

For the first few moons of their being together, Arsay was often hesitant to ask of both Y'shtola and G'raha's time. They were still settling into a dynamic and she was worried it would put unnecessary stress on the budding relationship. However, not a single soul in The Crystarium, not even she herself, could deny how much joy it brought the Warrior of Light to simply stroll about The Rotunda hand in hand with her beloveds.

#ffxiv #wolgraha #wolexarch #wolshtola #y'shtola x wol #y'shtola rhul #crystal exarch #g'raha tia #Arsay Nun #graharshtola #thank you for the ask!! i wanted to do both but only had time for the one #rare exarch era wolship pose though!! #i didnt really end up doing a lot of exarsay poses while i was in shb #mostly cause i was going through it like a roller coaster #but also because i feel like g'raha always held back while he was still on the first #so their relationship was pretty stagnate beyond just being cute and kissing sometimes #it was also a lot of g'raha having a lot of internal strife about what to do with his life going forward #and remembering what it is to live for himself #idk i think about it a lot and blackout for 6 hours and i wake up with 15 new text posts in my drafts #Also yeah I think the few times they did do triad dates like this #it was so unbelievably obvious to shtola that this was the happiest arsay has ever been #was there an initial sting of 'im not enough for her'? yeah absolutely but shtola is pragmatic enough to not let that turn into resentment #Shtola understands Arsay really well and knows that she often hides behind that smile of hers. she loves Arsay and wants for her to #be genuinely happy ! so if it means someone else has to hold arsay's other hand for that to happen #its like... so be it y'know? #at least thats the way i think about it

[deityofhearts]

the current (and consistent) mood is “my presence is unnecessary and contributes nothing”

#deity dialogue #so like on that note I just don’t know what to do #I feel like I need to be realistic about my place in peoples lives and just idk stop assuming people care #*shrug emoji* like I’m tired of being hurt by stupid shit that doesn’t matter #I just don’t feel like it matters whether or not I exist in anyone’s life or in general #I keep trying to tell myself that isn’t true or tell myself that it’s okay but nothing works #sometimes I do genuinely think maybe people do care and want me in their lives #then I realize I’m just bothering them and not like worth their time and it stings because I genuinely want to be wnated by people #anyways my head still hurts and i have a bday dinner to attend tomorrow so once again I’m taking sleep medicine #getting my fave depression snack tomorrow: tiramisu #perhaps I can opt out of dinner and get TWO tiramisu #but probably not I should probably eat actual food lest my irls get on my case about not eating

[truethes]

happy monday :)

#❛ ♡ › jupiter : 𝐨𝐨𝐜. #death / #crying over this quote because i dont think ill ever be over the concept ... #death is one of the biggest tws on this blog. but it sits so commonly for all my muses that it stings #sometimes humans just die - im thinking sayak.a in her last final moments. im thinking about kae.de during her execution. im thinking #haj.ime saying his final goodbye to chia.ki. #im thinking joe. im thinking kai. #im thinking sherlock im thinking kazuha .... #im thinking young mitsuyo and kiaria #im thinking licht and tsubaki .... #sometimes people don't die - and my brain will never not go to jun.ko. it goes to kei.ji and it goes to yas.uhiro ... it goes to kiy.otakas #grief and kave.hs despair and the way q.taro chose himself above anyone else and would have continued to live on with that grief. #it goes back to kur.o ... and shin.obu. men who no doubt lived but still feel dead despite it every single day #i kinda wanna get back into web weaving but let me enjoy the writing creativity for a bit :P

[llycaons]

Even better, Jiang Cheng gets accepted to his first choice, and it isn’t the same as Wei Ying’s. Wei Ying didn’t know how tense he had been, until the results were announced. How worry and guilt had prevented him from imagining any kind of future, before Wei Ying could know for sure that Jiang Cheng’s future was also settled.

this modern AU fic is completely not about jc and wwx at all but STILL this little section where wwx worries abt jc like this...oof

#ficblogging #this is NOT an uwu yunmeng bros 🥺 post btw this is a 'wwx was pressured into prioritizing jc his entire life and that's really hard #and unfair' post. like wwx gave up EVERYTHING for jc in canon and it just stings so much #when ppl treat that like an act of pure love and uwuify it or act like wwx owes jc even more afterwards #sure he loves him. but the circumstances were such that he believed his life was genuinely worth less than theirs was #he essentially committed a slow suicide bc he needed to ensure jc was okay #and yeah jc did the same thing which I sometimes DO forget #and that was amazing! and it's unrecognized. but jc was never told to die for wwx #so. idk that doesn't make it worse. arguably it's a more heroic sacrifice. he had no obligation. but he did anyway #but the ways thongs went in canon make it so hard not to side w wwx against jc 😭 #also this is a modern AU and wwx STILL feels this debt

[maddestmewmew]

theres a post going around on twitter abt a lesbian who genuinely hates men with such vitriol they went on to a post made by a gay man abt being attracted to men Just to talk abt how ugly men are and they wokely included trans men in the statement and im wondering. i have made 0 changes to my appearance since figuring out im a trans man instead of a lesbian, so what exactly makes me ugly now when i was a hot dyke before?

#at first i was really hurt by the post and it still stings a little but now im just wondering the logistics of this #i understand the mean man hating lesbian thing hashtag been there #but like. difference i think between wanting to avoid men and Actively Seeking Out Men To Call Them Disgusting #anyways. back to the. like at what point on the Man scale does one become ugly.. #if someones genderfluid are they just Sometimes ugly or like #if a man later comes out as nonbinary but makes no changes to their appearance are they hot now

[ccuriousmischieff]

.

#ranting into the void pls ignore #I love my best friend to the moon and back. and I love hearing about her relationship with her boyfriend. I love that she’s so happy. #and they still are having milestone moments and seem like they’re still very lovey dovey with eachother #BUUUUUUUUUT goddamn do I feel so jealous sometimes and I hate that I feel that way. #like i can’t help how I feel. it just stings that I’m almost 30 and have never had any firsts and when she does ask for advice I feel like #I’m pulling it out of my ass because I don’t have any experience to base it on #is my period making me feel all of this extra hard right now?? yes it is #like I just don’t want to be a bad friend and push her away unconsciously because of this

[dutybcrne]

From a very young age, Kaeya held such a fondness for handholding. Whether it was his father clinging tightly to him to make sure he didn’t get lost, Adelinde’s gentle, grounding hand closed over his to comfort him whenever his nerves got the better of him, Crepus’s rough-palmed, firm yet comforting grip as he brought him back home, or, as it was most often of all, Diluc’s warm, yet at times uncomfortably tight hold as he dragged him anywhere, everywhere, determined to always keep Kaeya close and eagerly show him all there was to see, Kaeya treasured the gesture greatly.

Of course, being as shy as he was, initiating it himself was always the harder part. So much so, he would tend to hold pinkies, rather than outright take a person’s hand in his own. Eventually, it would become his most common way to go about the gesture of affection.

#hc; kaeya #//Handholding is one of his favorite ways of affection bc 1) it’s not too overwhelming when it comes to his touch aversion #//The sensation is all focused in one spot; and even then; it’s more grounding than uncomfortable bc of how firm people’s grasp tends to be #//He really took to holding pinkies bc he realized he could ‘test’ people that way #//If it was a bother to them; they wouldn’t blink twice before moving their hand from his hold. so rejection isn’t as BIG; more subtle #//And if they Liked it; they could either accept it as is or make him happier and take firmer hold of his hand #//Once he was more confident; he would go straight to more outright handholding. Klee ofc got that RIGHT from the getgo. Bc she is smol & #liked him from the start. Even if her Pyro energy did make him uncomfortable at first; but he got used to it. for her #//Luc made it easy to go right to it to—the kid would always seem to know when he wanted to hold hands for whatever reason and grabbed hold #before Kae could link pinkies. kae did like the fact that Luc would Pout the few times Kae did link pinkies instead of hold hands #//Pout; & snatch his hand firmly in his like ‘Why did you do that? THIS way’s better’. Love the image of bby!Kae grabbing bby!Luc’s sleeves #but lbr; they deffo held hands a lot as kiddos. Bc we all know just how (canonically) indulging Luc is with whatever Kae wants. Once Luc #//figured him out; it was a Very common sight; seeing Luc tromping around like the proud lil protector he was; & Kae scurrying after him #//Lil subtle delighted gleams in his eye compared to Luc’s more overt confidence and joy. So common a sight; it was no surprise that #Kae was Deffo distressed when Luc inevitably grew out of it. Adjusted; yeah; but the sudden Change was deffo NOT good for his nerves #//Clung to Addie a lot to make up for it; until he heard the maids tittering abt how childish he was being #//He quit that FAST; finding other ways to stave off his nerves and show his affection #//Sometimes when he’s drunk at Angel’s Share; he gets tempted to hold Luc’s hand—an old habit dredged back up bc he wants comfort #//But any sudden moves Luc makes; whether bc he noticed Kae reaching out or not; utterly scare the urge away every time #//He’s made his peace with Luc resenting him; but it still stings that the ONE person he felt closest to is now practically a Chasm away #//Not like he helps any with that; running away or lashing out every time Luc tries to bridge gaps or shows concern #//Sends him into fight or flight mode every time—who’s to say Kae won’t fuck it up and make a Luc regret trying? #//Might as well sabotage it all himself—at least THEN he knows with utmost certainty it will end failure. Whoops veered off topic #//The closer he is to someone; the more likely he ends up toying with their hands a bit—esp if Interested in them #//Likes playing with their fingers; linking; unlinking and slotting them together; tracing lines on their palms #//Cute shit like that. He likes seeing how they fit together; the differences in size and how they feel #//This was all bc I saw a detail from a show pointed out on the Twitter ndnfn. And thought the pinkie thing was SO cute. Anywho #//Hi. Shit happened irl & I am still not 100%. Not saying what bc it’s not a pleasant topic; but know I am ok #//Just a lil tired. But kinda wanna hcs for rn. I had a lil burst of energy earlier today. that was nice. Over a long dead show; no less #//But it helped lift my mood a bit. I still kinda wish I could drink rn tho. Think it’d help my brain rn

[studious-hunk]

Sigh

#complains about moving too fast and yet... #as long as hes happy. i hope it works out this time. #im fine. we worked it out. still stings sometimes though.

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

Do you have a least favorite animal?

idk. i love all animals. well. except for fleas and ticks. sorry fleas and ticks but i cannot stand you and your blatant disregard for the precautions we install to keep you away. the amount of money spent trying to get rid of them is ridiculous. i wouldn't mind them if they didn't come and infest my pets and my home every year. and they bite and it sucks

#ask #literally no other bug bothers me as much as them #even ones that sting/bite idc they are nice #fleas have done horrendous damage to our pets and our stuff #some of our cats have baldspots from where they try to get rid of them #and i feel so bad #but like. #we have like.5 flea traps. we have a spray that kills fleas. we have spent so much money to get most of our pets flea collars and guess wha #we still have fleas #i hope they die off in the winter because i hate them. they're not as bad rn as the spring/summer #and ticks are so annoying they low-key freak me out and i'm usually very chill w bugs. like. i'll hold wasps sometimes #but ticks ahdadalkjdkhaj i fucking hate them #fleas are the most annoying and bothersome but ticks like. disgust me i cannot be around them they make me want to throw up

[norfkid]

my teeth ache so bad (negative), genuinely need to bite smth <- normal sentence

#vent #like. the urge to rip something apart with my teeth and destroy it. that’s the normal part #can’t be gritting my teeth to relieve the pain like this. my jaw is fucked up enough #i’ve shredded my lips tonight too fml they sting quite a bit #i have an internal joke (with myself yes. it’s sad) about my oral fixation but maybe it is a genuine thing i have. not just a meme anymore #like mate: biting my nails excessively (past the normal amount); biting the skin around my nails; shredding my lips; #chewing pen lids (tho i don’t write as often as i did in college so this is less of a problem now. i still put pens in my mouth tho); #clenching my teeth together; weird mouth sounds; tonguing the insides of my cheeks… i could go on #sometimes i legit just pinch the skin of my knuckles with my teeth and stay there. for minutes on end. without realising #is that really weird

[beestripe-and-spines]

only warmth

only love

#bristlefrost #warrior cats #the broken code #sorry i just get wildly mentally ill abt her #and im abt finished with my reread of tbc #so its time to be mentally ill about her again #i just have weird feelings about death and warriors has always been very comfortable media like #oh death isnt the end you have your loved ones in starclan #but sometimes even when you fight so hard for what you believe in #and you love so so much #it's not enough #and you still lose #even though you did everything right #and it rlly stings rereading. knowing its coming #brave little bristlefrost who did everything right #did what she wholeheartedly believed to be So Right her whole life #lost everything in her final act of doing her best and bravest #hurts

[dilfpassing]

As seasonal depression continues to make my life hell I have to keep remembering that even if the sun setting so early makes me miserable it doesn't make the sunset any less beautiful

#gotta keep on keepin on #just because something is bad right now doesnt mean things wont be good again someday #u gotta find the beauty in continuing to push forward and keep living even when things are hard #life sucks sometimes but its worth it to struggle and fall on your face if it means you can eat a good meal or share a laugh with a friend #or feel the first warm day of spring #feel the harsh sting of cold on your nose in the winter #feel that last sweep of the breeze on a warm summer night #see starlight from billions of dead stars still reaching you from past the grave #hold hands #gulp down some cold water after a long run #feel that swell of joy build up in your chest before you let out that first bark of laughter #theres a lot to keep going for even if its hard to remember sometimes

[m4gg0tmush]

I’m gonna cry ,what happened to him man

#it still stings listening to MSI sometimes ughh

[geddy-leesbian]

tiny lil vent thing I guess

#one of the Many bad things that happened this year is i found out my sister is an even shittier person than i thought #and my BIL is shitty too #ive never had a rlly close relationship w her but we would at least hang out sometimes so i'd see my toddler nephews #but the stuff i learned this year took our relationship from distant but cool to absolutely no contact #and she had another baby this year too but i only saw the baby rlly briefly one time and it wasn't smth i thought abt until yesterday #but i think losing my baby niece might be why im so fixated on serrennedy baby concepts :/ #god that sounds stupid dysgsgsg #idk stuff w ny sister is just complicated. like i said ive never been Close to her or my nephews so it's not a huge blow #but still just kinda sad realizing im never seeing them again. not even holidays and sporadic babysitting like before #and i genuinely thought my BIL was a good person. like better than my sister deserved. so the nasty stuff he said really stings #gonna delete later