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mayraki · 4 years

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CHAPTER EIGHT

“the midsummers night”

CHAPTER SEVEN

SERIES MASTERLIST

MY MASTERLIST

who is max belinsky?

concept boards for the new characters

a/n: oh god this is a long one. get some snacks and get ready! hope you enjoy :)

summary: Max Belinsky and JJ Maybank are the two troublemakers of Outer Banks. Going to parties, getting into trouble, having an attitude and being the two people you don’t mess with are the perfect ways to describe them. What would happen when the two people who seem to have trouble follow them around meet? One thing is fore sure, they didn’t expect this outcome.

“I can’t believe you’re leaving me.” Max said to her best friend, Sam, pretending to wipe a fake tear from her cheek. They were both on the porch of the Lester family. The three of them were preparing themselves for a trip to the main land.

“I’m going to be back two days from now.” Sam said after letting her backpack on the floor.

“I know. But with who else I’m going to make fun of the Kooks tonight?”

The midsummer. Another lame excuse for the Kooks to show how rich they were. Fancy dresses, expensive jewellery, and food that could feed the entire island for only the Kooks. It didn’t matter how fucked up the rest of the people in Outer Banks were, the midsummers would always be the most important thing for the rich people and their stupid need to do it.

“I’m sorry, but you’ll have to look for another date tonight.” Sam said with a half smile. “Are your parents going to come back tonight?”

Max nodded with a smile. “Yeah, I’m really excited. I haven’t seen them in a while.”

“I’m happy for you, Max.” Sam said before getting closer to her friend and giving her a little hug. “I wish I could stay and spend the night with your family, you know how much I love it. But mom insists that I have to be there when we visit my aunt.” She said and then her expression changed to a disgusted one. “I hope she doesn’t make me that hideous soup she does.”

“Sam! Let’s go!” Sam’s mom said when she walked through the door. She then looked at Max and a little smile appeared on her face. “Hi Max!”

“Hi Lila!” Max waved at her and then turned back to her best friend. “Alright, have a good trip. Don’t you dare forget about me or I’ll hunt you down and kill you.” Max said with an innocent smile.

“The worst thing is... is that I actually believe you’re capable of that.” She said before giving Max a last hug and walking to her family’s boat.

“JJ! Where the fuck are you!?” Max yelled once she entered The Chateau.

After saying goodbye to Sam, Max walked to the beach with her board next to her body because she had made the plan to go surfing with JJ just to prove a point: who was the better surfer. The competition was on. But when JJ didn’t show at the beach, Max got a sudden wave of concerned when the thought of maybe something happened to him, but a little anger appeared too, she didn’t like to be stood up.

The house was empty. No John B, JJ or any other Pogue smoking a blunt on the couch like they usually do. She walked to the kitchen and noticed some old beer bottles on the counter, but no sign of JJ.

The was no one in the bathroom since the door was fully opened and the light was turned off. John B’s room was also opened and no one was inside. JJ’s room was the only space left.

“JJ? Are you in there?” Max knocked the door twice and when he heard a male voice inside, she opened the door but not before closing her eyes. “You’re not naked are you?” She asked and JJ let out a little laugh.

“Open your eyes and found out, princess.” He said with a joking tone. Max opened her eyes to found JJ sitting on his bed with no shirt on and with a blunt between his fingers. “Wow, you didn’t even hesitate.” He said and Max just shrugged her shoulders.

“Nothing that I haven’t seen before. Where the fuck were you?”

“What do you me-” he was saying but when he understood, his eyes went wide open and he got up from his bed to walk towards Max. “Shit! I’m sorry, I totally forgot. Fuck.”

Max opened her mouth pretending to be offended. “You forgot about me?” She pointed at herself. “Bitch...” she said softly like it hurted her. But at the end of the day, she knew why he didn’t show up. “Admit it, you didn’t go because you know you can’t beat me.”

JJ quickly shook his head. “Nah, bullshit. I just spent the entire day talking to John B.” He walked back to his bed and rubbed his face frustrated with his left hand.

“Did something happened?” Max asked after seeing him let out a big sigh.

“No dude, just... he was so nervous about going to the midsummers. Sarah’s family invited him. I just helped him, he needed me, so...” Max nodded while walking to his bed to sit down next to him.

“What about Pope and Kie?”

“Kie is also invited and her mom is making her go. Pope has to work with his father. So, I guess I’m going to spend this lovely night alone, with my thoughts...” he shrugged his shoulders and that’s when an idea came into Max’s head.

“Hey... would you like to come to my house tonight?” As soon as those words came out of her mouth and JJ looked at her with a smile, she added. “My older brother likes to cook, and we have this special dinner on the midsummers night. You know, we don’t usually can afford having a big dinner so we decided to at least have one night where we can have as much food as we want and not feel guilty.” Max said with a smile.

“Really?” He asked. “That’s sounds fun.” JJ couldn’t remember the last time he had a family dinner, the thought of sitting in a table with parents and siblings was so far from what he knew.

“Yeah dude, I don’t think my parents are going to have a problem with that.” JJ furrowed his eyebrows when Max mentioned her parents. He had never seen them and Max never talked about them either, so when she said that with a smile on her face like it was nothing a lot of questions appeared on his mind.

“I’ll be there, then.” JJ said after couple of seconds in silence.

“Sweet.” She got up from his bed and walked to the door. “Be there around six. Don’t be late. And don’t stood me up again or I’ll cut your dick off.” She said with an innocent smile. JJ just let let out a little laugh at her craziness. But in the back of his head, he made the note to never stood her up again.

“Fred!” Max yelled once she entered her house. When she got no response she walked to the kitchen and a huge smile appeared on her face once she saw who was in front of her. “Dad!” She run towards him to gave her dad the biggest hug.

Ben Belinsky, with his passion for surfboards making and his funny personality there was no one who would not like him. His dark brown hair that would fall into his shoulders and his Hawaiian shirt, he gave Max the biggest smile while his arms were wrapped around his daughter’s body.

“I thought you were coming this afternoon!” Max said after breaking the hug.

“Well, we decided to give you and the boys a little surprise.” Ben said and on that moment, Fred walked into the kitchen.

“Almost everything is ready for tonight, dad.” Fred stood up next to Ben and it looked like they were twins, if you ignored the age gap. “Hi, Maggie.”

“Helloooo.” Max said with the biggest smile. “Hey, where’s mom?” She asked while looking around.

“She’s in the bathroom. She insisted she wanted to do it alone.” Ben said before helping Fred to put the plates on the kitchen table.

“Oh, since you are preparing that.” Max said pointing at the table. “You have to add another one.”

“Is Sam coming?” Fred asked but Max shook her head.

“No.”

“Then who?”

“Uhm.” For some reason telling her father and big brother that a guy was coming for dinner made Max nervous. He was just a friend! But her words weren’t coming out. She scratched the back of her head and looked down. “You know, this friend of mine was going to spend the night alone. So I figured... you know.”

“What friend?” Ben asked raising his left eyebrow expecting for her daughter to answer.

“Is it JJ?” Cody spoke behind Max.

“JJ?” Fred asked. Max turned around to see Cody and a little smile appeared on his face.

“Yeah, JJ Maybank. The guy that came here that night.”

“Cody.” Max said with a high pitch voice. “Shut the fuck up.” She whispered so only her little brother could hear.

“You had a boy over?” Ben asked and Max turned her head to her father.

“No, not like that. I mean, yes, he was here but-”

“I can assure you, nothing happened.” Fred interrupted Max. She gave him a little smile and Ben just nodded not fully convinced.

“Ok, but who’s this JJ Maybank?”

“Just a friend.” Max nodded.

“Alright.” Ben said. “Let’s just put another plate then, for this friend of yours.”

The walk to Max’s house was getting JJ’s nerves go to the top. He looked at the bag of chips he had on his hand and then looked up. He didn’t want to show up empty handed, so he went to the store to buy something but then stared at the shelves when the idea of buying a beer came to his mind, but soon erasing it since a teenager showing with alcohol wasn’t a really good first impression. So, a bag of chips was the other option JJ could afford and not look like an idiot.

He bit his lower lip when that familiar house appeared in front of him. That night came back to his memory and a little smile escaped his mouth. But when he got closer to the door, his nerves appeared again.

As soon as he knocked and Max opened the door with a smile on her face, he handed her the bag of chips. “I brought this, for your family.”

Max looked down at the bag and nodded confused. “Hi to you too, JJ.” She said. “Thanks. Come on in.” She stepped aside to let him in.

He looked around like he haven’t been in that same living room a couple of weeks ago. Fred walked into the living room and JJ locked eyes with him.

“It’s nice to finally meet the famous JJ Maybank.” He said while shaking hands with him.

“JJ!” Cody entered the living room to do the typical dude handshake with JJ.

“Why do I get the impression you’re so much more excited to see him than with me when I get home?” Max said.

“You’re not wrong.” Cody shrugged his shoulders and Max opened her mouth offended. JJ let out a little laugh and then turned her head to Max to give her a little wink.

“JJ, I’m Ben. Max’s dad.” Ben walked into the living room with a smile on his face. Max noticed the typical smile JJ had on his face went away, his expression changed into a more nervous one and he slowly and unsured walked to her father to shake his hand.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Belinsky. And thank you, for inviting me.” Max furrowed her eyebrows. It’s like the confident and chaotic JJ was completely gone when Ben walked into the living room.

“Oh, please! Call me Ben, Mr. makes me feel super old.”

“Well, you’re not 30 dad.” Cody said and Ben turned to him.

“Thank you for that, Cody.” JJ and Max let out little laughs.

Ben gently grabbed JJ’s shoulder to walk him to the kitchen. “You better have an appetite, because this year my son has raised the expectation we had for him and the dinner.”

JJ and Ben walked into the kitchen followed by the Bilinsky siblings. That’s when JJ locked eyes with Gianna Belinsky, Max’s mom.

“Oh-” he said. His eyes went wide open at the image of one of the most famous surfers when he was a little kid was in front of him. Her long blonde hair was her main feature. He looked exactly like Max but with different color hair. The few people who would know Max as Gianna’s daughter would say that she got her attitude and rebelliousness from her mother. She had the same humour and temptation for getting into trouble, not giving a fuck about what people think and be the life of the party. Definitely like mother like daughter. But she grew up and gained a little bit of sweetness in here attitude. She was not a teenager anymore.

“Your mom is Gianna Riccardi, one of the best surfers to come out of Outer Banks?” JJ said after turning his head to Max.

She expected this reaction from JJ, it’s not like it was new from people to react at her mother like that, but it was not Max if she didn’t play along with it. So, she opened her eyes at the surprise and then turned to look at her mother, who had a smile on her face knowing what was coming.

“Are you?” Max asked pretending to be surprised. “What?! My whole childhood has been a lie?!”

“It was time for you to find out baby...” Gianna said playing along with a smile before turning her head to JJ. “It’s nice to meet you, JJ? Is it?”

“Yeah- Wow, sorry. I used to see you all the time on TV. You’re one of the reasons I love surfing so much.” He walked closer to Gianna to shake her hand since she wasn’t getting up. “I always wondered why you quit, it’s not-” he was saying but when Gianna moved backwards and the table wasn’t hiding her legs, JJ noticed the wheelchair she was sitting on. “Oh- I’m sorry.”

Gianna shook her head with a smile. “Don’t worry about it, I get that reaction a lot. It’s kinda fun to watch people’s face.”

“Remember that guy?” Cody asked. “He was so shook he didn’t know what to say and just walked away?”

They all let out laughs remembering the creepy guy. JJ looked around and a weird feeling appeared on his stomach. He didn’t know what it was, because he never got it before. Being surrounded by a family and enjoy anecdotes together wasn’t very familiar to him. He watched Fred slapping Cody’s hand when he tried to grabbed something from the table and he let out a little laugh. Ben went to help Gianna with her wheelchair while Max was getting the chairs in place. JJ stood there without knowing what to do, it’s like he was experiencing this for the first time and his brain was in idiot mode. Max walked closer to him and waved her hand in front of his face.

“Dude, did you saw a ghost or something? C’mon, sit down!” JJ nodded with a smile and sat down to the chair that Max pointed next to her.

“Talking about ghost-!” Cody said but Fred cut him off.

“We’re not going to talk about the supposed ghost you saw the other night. It was probably Max, you know she likes to walk around at night.”

“What? I don’t do that.” Max defended herself.

“Oh, yeah, you do.” Cody said before letting out a laugh.

“Unbelievable! My own brothers think I’m weird.” Max said and the turned her head to JJ. “JJ? Tell them I’m not that weird.”

JJ looked at her brothers and then back to Max. “You’re kinda crazy so I believe that.”

“Bullshit!” Max said lifting her hands into the air.

“Max, language.” Ben said. “But I don’t blame your brothers, you are your mother’s daughter.”

Max turned her head to Gianna who was looking at her husband surprised, but then turned to Max after letting out a sigh. “Men.” She said with a disappointing tone.

“Exactly.”

“But I’ve learnt over the past years that you don’t mess with the Belinsky women, so... y’all are amazing.” Ben said followed by Fred and Cody quickly nodding.

Everyone let out laughs and continued talking about the funny stories they had from the women on the family while JJ was enjoying the feeling he had in his stomach with a smile on his face.

“Ok, this is really good.” JJ said after taking a bite of the famous dessert Fred always did.

“It’s Fred speciality.” Gianna said with a proud smile.

“What’s in this?” JJ asked. He truly was enjoying that dessert like he never had a piece of chocolate before.

“Poison.” Max said innocently. JJ turned to her with a mouth full and she tried so hard to not let out a laugh.

“Max.” Fred said.

“Why do I believe her?” JJ asked and everyone laughed except for Max, who had a little smile on her face and shrugged her shoulders.

“Ok! who’s ready for the games?” Cody asked excited.

“Are you ready to lose again?” Max asked to her dad and Fred.

“We’re invencible!” Cody got up and walked next to her mom, to put his arm around her shoulders and flex his other one. Gianna let out a little smile.

“Well, this year we’re even. JJ can play with us.” Ben said and JJ nodded. “Are you good at charades?”

“I don’t know, but I really want to win so..”

“That’s the spirit!” Fred said. “Prepare to lose!”

They all walked to the living room but Max grabbed JJ by the arm to get closer to him. “You’re going down tonight, loser.”

“If that makes you feel better, princess.” He said with a smile and Max shook her head.

“Nope, your words are not going to annoy me. Not today. I always win.”

“We’ll see.”

“Oh! He’s the actor that I find really attractive!” Gianna said while pointing at the name Max had in front of her forehead.

“Mom! You literally think everyone is attractive when we watch movies!” Max complained.

“He has blue eyes!” Cody yelled and Max widen her eyes.

“Chris Pine!” Cody applauded. Max moved to the next one after checking the timer. “C’mon!” She said. If they win this round, they win the entire game.

“She’s from friends!”

“Courtney Cox!”

“Who says that on the first guess?! The other one!”

“Jennifer Aniston!” She moved the paper to the last card.

“Oh my god!” The timer was ticking the last ten seconds. JJ, Ben and Fred were holding each other’s hand with the hope they would lose. But when Cody saw the last name, he quickly got up and never said something so fast in his life.

“He’s the actor you like that I tell you it’s weird because he’s 40!”

“MATTHEY GRAY GUBLER!” Max yelled and then threw the paper on the floor.

Cody and Max walked closer to Gianna to give her a hug while Fred was covering his face with his hands, Ben was shaking his head and JJ was with a smile on his face while seeing the other team do a their celebration.

“We fucking won!” Max yelled excited and Cody went to Fred.

“You lose! You lose!” Fred grabbed the back of Cody’s neck and wrapped his arm around it. “Ouch!” Cody said when his face was on Fred’s armpit.

“Wait.. are we not going to talk about the fact that Max likes a guy that’s 40?” Fred said while Cody was trying to get out of his grip.

“Yeah... we don’t really need to talk about that.” Max shook her head while giving her mom a big hug.

Max went into a conversation about the actor she liked with her parents while Cody was still fighting against Fred. JJ looked around and the same feeling he had when he saw the family joking around appeared again. It was like he was watching a movie, something that was far away from him, something that he could only wished it would happen to him. Having a loving family. Enjoy every single moment they spent together. Joke around, have amazing stories about each other, fight but then say that you love each other seconds later. He wanted to be a part of that. But it seemed impossible for him, it was never going to happen. Not in his house and with the person he lived.

“I really want to see this Matthew.” Gianna said to Max and Ben turned her. “What? If he’s this good looking like Max is saying, I want to see him!”

“Alright, you have some 40 year old actress you would like to show me?” Ben said to Max and she face palmed herself at her parent’s game.

“Baby.” Gianna said. “You know no one compares to you. Besides, an actor who probably gets paid a million per movie and has a house bigger than the entire hospital, I definitely don’t want that. You’re the one for me.” Gianna said and Ben gave her a kiss on her cheek but then locked eyes with her.

“That was not sarcasm, right?” Max shook her head and then turned around to see her brothers still having a silly fight, she let out a tiny laugh but when she looked at JJ she furrowed her eyebrows confused. He was looking down while playing with the rings between his fingers.

“Dude, you ok?” She asked him after sitting down on the couch next to him.

“Yeah man, I’m alright.” Max didn’t believe him not even a little bit, so she turned her head to the door that lead to the little outdoors the house had.

“Would you like to go outside and have some fresh air?” He looked up at her and then nodded with a smile.

Ben followed her daughter and JJ with his eyes until they were out of his sight. Gianna touched his chest and then give him a warning look, which he responded with a sigh.

“Thank you for inviting me, I had a really good time.” JJ said once he stepped outside and they both walked closer to the fence at the end of the house. “Your family is awesome, dude.”

“Well, now you know where I got my coolness.” Max said with a proud smile. “And seriously, you don’t have to thank me, it was nice to win against you one more time.” A little laugh escaped her mouth but JJ just shook his head.

“And again. I’m guessing you’ll never let this go either?” Max quickly shook her head.

“Nope. But don’t beat yourself up, you’ll win someday.” She patted his shoulder comforting him.

“Oooh, when the day comes I won’t spend not even a single day without mention it. You just wait.”

“Alright, but I’m not gonna hold my breath.” Max shrugged her shoulders while JJ shook his head with a smile.

Max started to enjoy the sound of silence and the wind blow her face. JJ turned her head towards her and watched how she closed her eyes. Her hair was slightly moving and she started to make sound with her fingers against the fence. He noticed that she had a couple of freckles on her cheek and he wanted to count them. Some of them were more darker than others, and the ones that would go down her nose would me more visible because of the redness the sun gave her skin. He stared at her like it was a painting he wanted to know what It meant, what it was trying to say, a moving picture. He got the feeling that he could stare at it for hours until his eyes couldn’t be awake anymore.

But when he heard Gianna laugh coming from the house, questions appeared on his head. Max opened her eyes and then looked down.

“I’m guessing you have a lot of questions.” She said like she was reading his mind. She turned to him waiting for him to ask away, but he stood there in silence not knowing what to ask first, so she said for him. “My mom and dad moved to the main land a long time ago.” She started. “Not a lot of people know about this story.” She said softly. “Sam is my only friend who knows. Kie knows, but a little bit of the story since our parents were friends. And unfortunately, my ex knows too.” She took a deep breath.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” JJ said quickly.

“It’s alright, I kinda... want you to know. Don’t ask me why, because I have no clue.” She shook her head while JJ slowly nodded. “As you know, my mom... she was a professional surfer. She got the opportunity to go to a big championship at 20 years old. That’s when she met my dad. He was the one that did the surf boards for some of the contestants. Years went by, and they got married. But kept it a secret because my mom didn’t want her private life to be out there. Then, she got pregnant and Fred was born. Later, me. She was still going to competitions, with my dad, Fred and me on the side cheering her on. But it was all just a big secret she had. The little one of the family came and that’s when my mom decided to let the competitions go. We came back here to Outer Banks when I was 4. My dad opened a store called “The Water Breakers” and-”

“Wait, was that your dad?” JJ asked surprised. “My dad got my first surf board there, it’s one of my favourite memories.”

“Really?” Max said with a smile.

“Yeah, and I also remember that there was this little girl that was there all the time...” JJ was saying but when the vivid imagine appeared on his mind his eyes went wide open. “I had a little bit of a crush on her. I loved going on walks there because she was always with her skateboard playing around... and one day, I finally got the courage to give her a flower....”

Those words made Max opened a tiny box of memories she had on her mind. A little smile appeared on her face. “Oh my god... was that you?” She asked softly. “I can’t believe it!” They both let out a little laughs. “You had a crush on me? That’s embarrassing dude!”

“Oh my god.” JJ said before face palming himself. “Another thing you’re never going to let go!” Max let out a tiny laugh and then nodded. “So, you were saying...” JJ said to change the subject and forget the fact that he was talking to the first girl he ever had a crush on and just admit it to her.

“Yeah... right. Uhm, well, we spent a couple of years here. It was perfect, like a fucking normal family here in Outer Banks.... My mom always promised to take me to this beach she learnt how so surf. It was like a thing, when my big brother turned 12, she took him and it was my turn. I wanted it so bad. I remember thinking about it non stop, sharing that with my mom... one of the best surfers that came out of Outer Banks... wow.” She took a deep breath. “So, my birthday arrived and I couldn’t stop smiling. My mom was also very excited, sharing something she deeply loved with her kids? Yeah, she loved that... We got into the car and the next thing I know... I was at the hospital and my mom couldn’t walk anymore.” JJ looked down not knowing what to say. But then a sudden wave of needing to look back a Max made him look up at her. She was looking at the fence in front of her while biting her lower lip. He knew it was hard for her to talk about it, like it would for anyone. But this girl wasn’t anyone, it was Max Belinsky, and JJ wanted to admit it or not, he knew he had a different and special connection with her.

“Everything changed after that. Dad sold the store and all of that went to mom’s medical needs, but then he had to leave to the main land with mom because the doctors here couldn’t give my mom what she needed. I stayed here with my bothers trying to keep everything together and work my butt off to have a nice dinner. Fred wanted to go to college, but... it all went to shit.”

“What does your dad do there?” JJ asked softly.

“He works as a chef on the day and then as a bartender at night. They practically live on the hospital, because my mom can’t move a lot.” She shrugged her shoulders. “It was such a long time ago... but I still remember the day that I woke up at that hospital..”

“I’m so sorry, Max.” JJ said. She turned her head to him to give him a little smile. But JJ knew it was a little bit forced.

“It’s alright. We try to keep as positive as we possible can.” She said. “But enough of this sad story, this is a time to have a laugh. You know what we do with Sam-”

“Max! We need you!” Fred called from inside. She gave a little smile to JJ before walking inside.

JJ stood there processing every single word that came out of Max’s mouth. He could never imagine that someone like her would have a story like that. Someone that was always trying to make others laugh and making her every moment like the last one... now he understood. He was finally figuring out who Max Belinsky was. She wasn’t only the troublemaker, like everyone seemed to call her, she was way more than that.

“What’s up JJ?” JJ heard Ben behind him so he turned to him.

“Nothing much.” He said before letting his hands go inside his pockets.

“I hope you enjoyed dinner.” Ben said after getting close to him and standing next to the fence where JJ was.

“Oh yeah.” He quickly nodded. “I haven’t had something like that in a long time.”

“We like to have nights like this, you know? Since I don’t get to see my kids often.” Ben let out a sigh and then looked down. “Max is a special one. She reminds me so much of her mother when she was her age, looking for trouble, going to parties, and never failing on making others laugh.” They both let out little laughs. “How did you two meet?”

“Oh, uh..” the memory on the back of the police car appeared on his mind, telling her dad that they met on the way to the police station wasn’t the ideal option, so his mind started to look other options. “She’s friends with one of my friends.” He said and Ben nodded.

“Being my only daughter I always thought I had to protect her, but I truly know that she can take care of herself. She has proven that to me. But that can’t stop me.” JJ started to balance his body forward and backwards while listening to Ben’s words very carefully. “I will do anything to protect my little girl.”

“I get it- I mean I don’t- I don’t have a daughter” he added quickly. “I would love to have one with Max-I mean LIKE Max.. she’s so strong and has a really cool personality, you know?” He felt his heart beat faster. “She’s a really good... person.” On the inside JJ wanted to slap himself so hard and disappear, but when Ben let out a loud laugh his heart started to go back to his normal speed.

“All I’m saying, is that I’m not around all the time, and...” he looked down but then quickly went back to JJ. “please, take care of her.” “

JJ stood there in silence. Ben’s words were soft, he sounded like a true parent who cared deeply for his children. He hadn’t heard that tone in a long time.

“Sr. I will. I mean, as a friend, since... we’re just friends.” JJ added but then Ben let out a little smile and gently grabbed JJ’s shoulder.

“I know. But that’s the first thing I said when I met her mother-”

“Dad!” Max walked into the tiny backyard. “Mom needs you.” As soon as she saw her dad and JJ, she furrowed her eyebrows confused.

“Alright, see you inside.” Ben gave JJ a smile and then a wink. JJ let out a smile before Ben walked out of the backyard and Max got in front of him.

“What were you two talking about?”

“Huh? Oh, nothing. Surfing stuff.” He shrugged his shoulders with Ben’s words still on his mind.

“Alright...” Max said not fully convinced. “Let’s go inside, time for second dessert.”

“There’s a second dessert?!” JJ asked shockingly.

“Yeah! C’mon!”

“How can you eat that much?” He asked while they both walked inside the house.

“It’s my speciality, after being the one that reminds you of the embarrassing things you do.” JJ turned to Max while a giant smile was forming on her face. “You had a crush on me, you had a crush on me.” Max started singing while repeatedly touching his arm with her finger.

“Oh, I hate you Max Belinsky.” He said before turning around leaving Max behind. He said those words, but JJ knew that deep down, it was the exact opposite.

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heathers-wig · 4 years

Text

last kiss oneshot aka a sad heathers-wig making a duncney oneshot at 1AM and getting emotional over the duncney parallels because i’m THAT bitch

listen,,,,, i know. i have no shame. making duncney content in 2020? to old taylor swift songs? my pride has evaporated, so please td tumblr, have mercy.

also @ my few non-td mutuals and non-writer mutuals: do not judge me more than you already have please i’m begging.

available on ao3 here

I still remember the look on your face

Lit through the darkness at 1:58

The words that you whispered

For just us to know

You told me you loved me

So why did you go away?

A somber reflection of her own face stared back at Courtney as the brown eyed girl stared, saddened, outside one of the jet’s windows. The Jumbo-Jet had been flying for hours, to wherever the show’s next location was, and the rest of her team was fast asleep; even Cody, who was terrified of Sierra rubbing his feet at the dead of the night. Sierra herself had been worn out after hours of cutting out perfectly shaped pieces of paper of a Gwen silhouette and then destroying it — she had taken so much joy out of it, and had done it so flawlessly, that Courtney was sure it had become a routine over the few years Total Drama had been airing on TV. After today, Courtney would gladly join Sierra, if she wasn’t so busy making a list on how much of a back-stabbing, helio-phobic goth-loving liar that Gwen was.

God, Gwen; just the name made Courtney want to let out one of the most pathetic sobs that had ever been seen on television. She knew it was stupid, she honestly did, that she trusted Gwen — it wasn’t anything she said, or really anything that she did, that deemed Gwen as untrustworthy, it was more like the feeling of being unsettled that came after every time Duncan’s name would worm its way into the conversation, and the way Gwen had tensed and how the goth’s cheeks would become slightly pinker, yet her skin somehow paler; in hindsight, it was so dreadfully and painfully obvious that this would happen, and how inevitable it was that this sad, beautifully breathtaking destruction would crumble down on the fragments of happiness in Courtney’s life, but maybe that’s why Courtney and Gwen were drawn together in the first place. To prove the paparazzi wrong, or maybe because Courtney really believed that Gwen wouldn’t stoop as low and confirm the public’s suspicions. However, time had slowly gone by and Courtney learned the hard, cruel way that they were absolutely right.

Chef, who had never taken any sort of liking or pity on Courtney — except when she had sued Chris, he had begrudgingly admitted that he was impressed — had been nice (or cruel, Courtney couldn’t decide which one was more accurate,) enough to show the brunette the clip herself. Herself hugging Duncan (who she now nicknamed Dumbcan in her own mind — ugh, the jerk!) so lovingly after being separated for what felt like ages, and feeling her heart soar when he said he thought of her while he was gone —

— But that was all a lie. A lie that made Courtney feel secure in her deteriorating relationship, a lie that allowed Duncan an easy way out, a lie that filled Gwen’s stomach to the brim with fluttering butterflies. Courtney had to watch, with something that felt all too familiar to horror, as Duncan and Gwen embraced and slowly leaned towards each other, all while knowing and ignoring the brunette outside who was just so happy that she had her boyfriend back and someone she could call the closest to a best friend was still in the game with her. It was almost ironic how that ended. Almost.

Now, staring out the window, Courtney couldn’t help but wander how this could have possibly happened. Of course, she knew the actual answer; Gwen falling for Duncan after her public and awful breakup with Trent, and Duncan losing interest in her as Courtney thought more and more of their relationship as long-term versus until one of them had gotten a sudden sweep of common sense and dumped the other. Whenever Courtney had tried to construct the words in her head of what she would say to Duncan when she eventually had to actually face him, the thoughts that were so carefully balanced on the tip of her tongue would come tumbling back down to the pit of her stomach. Throwing a pity party and tantrum when breaking up with Duncan would be inevitable — she knew it, as much as she didn’t want to acknowledge it — but the feeling of dread she felt when looking back on their initial relationship was too much to bear.

It was ironic, wasn’t it, how she was the first to lean in, while Duncan had took the final lean out? And how he didn’t even have enough guts to breakup with her to begin with? Sure, it would definitely hurt, but she was almost positive that it would be nowhere near the amount of heartache she felt while watching that clip.

What killed her the most was that she could still remember the electric blue eyes of his that seemed to illuminate the darkness of night that day she rebelled, the very day she would now do anything to erase from history. The look of initial shock on his face when Courtney grabbed his face and smashed their lips together in one electrifying kiss... it was painful to remember such a time. If Courtney tried hard enough, she was sure she could hear the slight chatter of their friends behind them and the crickets around them and maybe even the humming of porch lights next to them. Possibly even pick up on the slight smell of cigarettes that followed Duncan everywhere (like his criminal record, as Courtney would snidely berate him, though those days were left to wither in the past), or unfortunately the resting puddle of vomit next to the porch.

“Enjoy a peanut butter-less life,” he had remarked, the words still ringing in Courtney’s head almost two years later.

“Thanks,” Courtney herself had quipped, leaning up against him. “Enjoy prison,”

“I will,” the juvenile smirked. It all felt like such a long time ago. Had it all meant nothing? Maybe it had been broadcasted around the world, but it was such a private and intimate moment between them that felt like it was for them and them alone — and yet he cheated? He turned around and kissed up her best friend with little to no remorse? Did it mean anything to him? She wasn’t sure she wanted the answer.

If it did, wouldn’t he had stayed? Wouldn’t he had wanted to talk things out, instead of hurting her in the worst way possible? Wouldn’t he have meant every ‘I love you,’ he said while they were still dating with no second thought? Did he even mean every ‘I love you’? Or were they just lies that tasted as sweet as honey on his tongue, that he spoon-fed to Courtney every now and then to keep her from leaving him.

She wasn’t sure what haunted her more; knowing that Duncan felt no regret for what he did or having a last kiss with no knowledge of its significance.

I do recall now

The smell of the rain

Fresh on the pavement

I ran off the plane

That July ninth

The beat of your heart

It jumps through your skin

I can still feel your arms

As odd as it felt, a few weeks have gone by since her nasty breakup with Duncan. She finally got to shove Gwen (who was swelling up from her allergic reaction at a concerning rate, but Courtney had no pity left for Gwen in her heart that the goth and Duncan were responsible for breaking) off of Chris’s jet, but to her disappointment it wasn’t nearly as satisfying as she hoped it would be. Sure, seeing Gwen’s falling figure struggle to open the parachute brought a smile to her face and earned a chuckle from Heather (and a maniacal laugh from Sierra), but it wasn’t enough. She wanted to personally shove Duncan off the plane herself, but she wouldn’t be as kind to him as she was with Gwen; she’d be taking the parachute right before she shoved the fatal push.

The feeling that came after Gwen’s elimination was hard to describe — of course, sheer joy immediately after, but after the cameras stopped rolling and Chris instructed them all to head to bed, panic took its place. Courtney knew she was a target from her fellow teammates — Heather probably wanted to chop all her hair off for flirting with her dear Alejandro; Courtney almost wished the two would get together and save Courtney the heartbreak she’d have to face that there was no one left for her. Duncan would of course crave Courtney’s elimination, and Alejandro and Sierra would probably agree to anything so as long as it wasn’t them, or Cody, in Sierra’s case. Just about everything seemed to be going her way, wasn’t it?

Courtney wasn’t even sure if she cared at this point. Should she? Of course, winning would be a great payment for everything she’s had to put up with on Total Drama, this season in particular, but at the same time, with Gwen officially out of the running, following her and going back home would feel even better.

Home. Courtney hadn’t been there in ages, and at this point she wasn’t sure what she considered home to be. There was the pristine mansion she was raised in by her lawyer parents, and while that place might have looked like the front of a magazine cover, it felt like an empty ghost of a home. Not a single thing was out of place — not a throw pillow or piece of silverware. Her parents were either always at work, travelling for a case, or holed up in their respective offices; there was rarely “family time”. Courtney was fine with this, though; that’s just how things were for the Castillo family.

There was Camp Wawanakwa, as evil and ironic as it was. For a few weeks, she lived with teenagers, not the reality stars they were now. When her friends from debate club sometimes dragged her to a rewatch of the first season, it was odd to see how different they were all back then, but at the same time, they really hadn’t changed at all. Though Courtney was unsure if she would ever step foot on that island ever again, it would always hold a place in her heart — good or bad? She hadn’t decided yet — for the beginning of whatever her life was now.

Her apartment was an option, as well. It wasn’t as much home as just the place she so happened to live in. No emotional attachment whatsoever; some boxes were still stacked in a spare coat closet, all neatly labeled in a thick Sharpie. It wasn’t that Courtney was disorganized or lazy, more like there was no use in unpacking all of her belongings in a temporary home. She moved out of her parents’ mansion as college crept closer and closer, and she hadn’t lived with her parents since last summer.

That summer felt alien at this point, looking at old photographs that were neatly organized on her cellphone. She remembered her family went on a month-long vacation in Europe, and Duncan had come to pick her up from the airport, much to her parents’ displeasure. The Castillos and Duncan did not get along, but tried to be civil for Courtney’s sake — they knew how much it could upset her when they were constantly at odds. Being civil was nowhere easy for either parties, but seeing Courtney’s happiness and hope that there was just maybe a hope that she and Duncan would be able to have a future together made it worth it.

However, seeing his arm around her waist with easy smiles on both of their lips made Courtney’s stomach lurch, just knowing what he would do a little more than a year later. It brought back too many memories that were painful to recall, and came all at once with no warning, much like a band-aid being harshly torn off the surface of a child’s knee.

That day it had been raining all afternoon, and there was still a slight drizzle and mist in the air when Courtney’s family had landed. Duncan was there, at the pickup area, with brunch for herself and her entire family from some local cafe — as much as he would deny it, deep down she just knew he was a sweetheart — and as soon as he could, he wrapped his arms around Courtney, which Courtney had gladly returned.

The smell of rose and cigarettes, a smell that had become the twisted combination of the aromas surrounding Courtney and Duncan, filled Courtney’s nose, and she couldn’t help but bask in how glorious it felt, to simply be embraced by Duncan. No bickering, no making out, just a simple sign of affection was all it took for Courtney to feel at peace. They were so close, she could’ve swore she could feel the faint beat of his heart underneath his t-shirt.

It was such a quick, and rather insignificant moment, of their relationship, that Courtney couldn’t figure out, for the life of her, why it stuck with her. Maybe because it was insignificant in the long run it was so cherishable to her — a quick, stolen moment of sweet nothings that was caught in the middle of the timeline of her rather messy and confusing relationship with Duncan.

Did Duncan still remember that July ninth? Probably not. Realistically, not. In fact, he was probably busy daydreaming making out with his new girlfriend in another all new spot on Gwen’s neck that made them feel something new that they never felt with Trent or Courtney. Not at all reminiscing on Courtney unwillingly falling in love with Duncan that July ninth in front of her parents, not at all remembering the imprint he left on her heart (though it did give her a sense of satisfaction that all Duncan could do was wish, as Courtney could gladly say she heard Gwen’s shrieks of terror as she plummeted towards the Earth at a rapid pace with a broken parachute).

Feeling a sudden chill in the air, Courtney runs her hands up and down her upper arms. As much as she hated him for it, she could still feel Duncan’s arms wrapping themselves around her, and she felt less colder.

She doubted Duncan remembered the smell of lingering rain on the pavement that July ninth, or the hand squeeze and smile she gave him, or her parents finally warming up to him when he remembered their favorite brunch meal.

She doubted he would even want to remember any of it.

But now I’ll go sit on the floor

Wearing your clothes

All that I know is

I don’t know how to be something you missed

Never thought we’d have a last kiss

Never imagined we’d end like this

Your name, forever the name on my lips

Courtney wasn’t sure what to feel; upset? Angered? Humiliated? Robbed of winning, yet again? Maybe even a little relieved? They were all emotions she had felt before on the previous times she had been eliminated from Total Drama, but considering the circumstances... Courtney decided a combination of all would be the most appropriate.

She was upset she allowed herself to cheat for Alejandro, who she was only really using to spite Duncan (not like Duncan had even batted an eye, which admittedly really stung), and she was fully aware Alejandro didn’t return her feelings, but God, she hadn’t felt any joy in what felt like ages, maybe she felt Alejandro would, what, reward her? All she got was a kiss after she freshened up, and it wasn’t even that good to begin with — too much tongue for her liking.

Duncan knew how to kiss me just right. Crossed her mind, but as soon as it surfaces, she shoves it far, far down.

And she was angry, so angry that she had allowed herself to be used and manipulated, on International TV no less! She looked like exactly what she was, and she did not like it in any way, whatsoever — weak. And with that, humiliation; being cheated on, blanked, used and then sent packing with that trashy, gossip-craving Blaineley of all people was such a huge hit to her pride, Courtney was unsure if her pride would ever be able to recover, even five years from now. God, that was pathetic, the thought of still being sensitive to her Total Drama World Tour experience as a full-on adult. Definition of embarrassing. Her ego was massively bruised, and had taken such a fall that Courtney was sure she would never allow herself to get close to anyone ever again. Was it selfish? Maybe. But a businesswoman has to do what she has to do to be successful and strong, and if that meant ghosting everyone and plunging herself into her work — so be it.

However... a small, incredibly fragile fraction of herself was so relieved. Of course, she wanted to win, to show to her ex-friend and boyfriend she was more than capable of destroying them, but she had already endured so much humiliation during that season that she felt her shoulders relax a little rather than tense up before she jumped off the plane. Though the cameras didn’t show it, Courtney found herself smiling like a lunatic — like Izzy, as she had now come to realize, not that she enjoyed acknowledging it one bit — as she dived off the jet, finally free from Chris, the cameras and most of all, Duncan.

But now that she was back at her bleak apartment, she realized that cruelly ironically enough that he was more present in her own dorm even when he was across the world, with no thought or emotion to spare in her direction. The couch reeked of him, where he had spent New Years’ Eve and where they ended up falling asleep at 4 in the morning; the coffee table underneath her bare fingers felt like him, where an engraving of D+C was proudly displayed on the corner; the fridge seemed to still have him traced all over it, where she and Duncan had a huge argument in front of before he had slipped out the words “I love you” for the first time, and even the coat racket was imprinted with Duncan, where one of his jackets still hung, firm from months of not being used. Though a part of her wanted to reach out for it and wrap it around herself for some source of comfort, Courtney knew she shouldn’t — she couldn’t. But...

It was ridiculous. A stupid, humiliating and reckless idea that would take the mere shreds left of her ego, dignity and pride and bury them six feet under. But right now, nobody would know... there was no paparazzi or roommate around to expose her, and she did feel awfully cold....

Grabbing the collar of the jacket, Courtney wrapped it around her shoulders and (shamefully, she couldn’t believe she was allowing her pride to stoop even lower than it already had) dashed in her pristine bedroom and immediately opened one of her drawers; Duncan’s drawer, which was filled with even more memories, both good and bad. To be fair, they were once all good, but now they left a sour sting on Courtney’s tongue. She tore through the drawer, before fixating on one item and pulling it out — one of Duncan’s many copies of his infamous skull t-shirt.

Without even meaning to, Courtney found herself crumbling like a piece of wet gingerbread. How pathetic are you? She mentally scolded herself, but at that moment she found herself realizing she simply didn’t care. After a lifetime of being as cold and emotionless as she could be, a boy of all things is what broke her down. After being rid of Total Drama — for now, Courtney had to remind herself — and the travel, the cameras and the clothes, and now just in her pajamas and dreadfully Duncan’s jacket, Courtney couldn’t help but unleash the full power of the sobs that had been building up in Courtney since the breakup.

How was she going to get past this? Would she always be remembered as the bitch that a criminal cheated on on TV? What about her future? Would this all affect her chances in office? How could her ego possibly come back from this? Most of all, how would she cope knowing that Duncan, the nuisance criminal she’s despised for around two or three years, was gone for good and was never, ever coming back, no matter how much Courtney craved for it?

Would Duncan even miss her? Would he ever, someday in the future, when things with Gwen were rocky? Would he remember Courtney, and think of her as something he missed? Was that even a title Courtney had the chance of claiming?

Courtney craved Duncan. She wanted his presence in her apartment, she wanted his arms around her, his lips pressed on her own; she hadn’t, didn’t and probably would never have wanted a last kiss, and knowing that they were as good as done with no chance of having another stolen kiss — it was too much. How could she have let them end like this?

“D... Duncan,” The name forces itself out of Courtney’s throat and through her lips, crumpling his shirt in her hands and bringing her knees to the ground, where she continues to sob. Tossing one more item from the drawer — the wooden skull, with D+C engraved on it, looking as new as it did years ago — she hurls it at the mirror in the corner of her room, its impact cracking the glass.

Maybe in the morning Courtney would care, but at that moment, all she wanted was to be comforted by the one person who couldn’t, wouldn’t and would never comfort her ever again. All she knew was that she would never stop craving Duncan, no matter who was by her side or made her smile and laugh and shower her with kisses — the whole time she would be wishing it was Duncan instead, sharing a kiss that would be far from their last.

I do remember

The swing in your step

The life of the party, you’re showing off again

And I roll my eyes and then

You pull me in

I’m not much for dancing

But for you I did

Because I love your handshake

Meetin’ my father

I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets

How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something

There’s not a day that I don’t miss those rude interruptions

Courtney despised the nights that followed post-World Tour elimination; they were filled with nightmares of happier times that mocked Courtney, nightmares that were dressed like perfect, safe and welcoming dreams. Nightmares that felt like incredible dreams at first, until Courtney woke up and remembered how alone she truly was.

That night it was a random, and rather insignificant, memory of a wild party that Duncan had dragged her to. It was hosted by the cousin of a friend of Geoff’s friend, and of course Geoff and Duncan insisted that Bridgette, Courtney and DJ to come with, as much as Courtney was opposed to the idea. Duncan always made impacts, for lack of better word, on the guests, that would usually result in him adding a hundred followers to his Instagram, starting a riot and Courtney having to bail him out of jail or being kicked out by the host; it was a gamble each time.

That night, Duncan had chosen to boast in front of a group of guests on all the laws he had broken and tattoos he had gotten — just Duncan’s usual load of shit.

Courtney had rolled her eyes and sneered in disgust — just Courtney’s typical reaction to said load of shit. “God, Duncan, those tattoos are disgusting, I don’t see how you put up with them,” She had scowled. Duncan shrugged and wrapped his arm around her, leaning into Courtney, intently watching her incredibly dark and hypnotizing (at least, they were to him) eyes widen in surprise.

“You’re just no fun,” Duncan lamely insulted, poking his tongue out at her and showcasing his tongue piercing that made Courtney’s nose scrunch up.

“I am plenty of fun!” Courtney snapped.

“Really? Prove it,” Duncan challenged, jerking his head toward the dance floor. Courtney gave him a withering glare that would have turned anyone else to a mere pile of dust, before gripping his wrist and dragging her with him, determined to prove him wrong. Unbeknownst to her, he was grinning like an enamored puppy behind her.

As a slow song came on, Courtney wrapped her arms around Duncan’s neck while her wrapped his around her waist as they slowly swayed around to the beat of the song. Just as Duncan dipped her down, and Courtney felt a glamorous sensation as they both leaned toward each other and —

— suddenly, Duncan impaled a hook through Courtney (that looked all too familiar to the one he had spooked her with a long time ago) that Courtney hadn’t even noticed he had, before dropping her on the dance floor, her white dress staining with red blood like wine, as everyone else continued dancing to the romantic melody, paying no glance to Courtney.

She felt light headed while her eyelids felt like three tons, and as she fell on her knees, hunched over from the wound, she couldn’t help but notice as her eyes began to flutter shut no one spared a glance at her way; not even Duncan, who was back with his friends, showcasing the book like it was a trophy. As Courtney knew she was breathing her last breath, Duncan glanced her way and gave a crooked smirk, his eyes flashing hot with satisfaction at her pain. The ocean blue in his eyes had become a ferocious storm.

Courtney had jarred awake, hot, sweaty, emotional and desperate with the time of 2:34 staring back at her from her alarm clock. Courtney sighed with relief upon the realization it was just another nightmare about her ex-boyfriend, one that was rather cheesy anyway — what she would give to not be haunted by him as she still was. Unfortunately, as much as she hated the fact, she knew he still roamed her consciousness, subconsciousness and unconsciousness because of the fact she still loved him, even after everything, and a fraction of that love would probably live on for years to come until Courtney was on her deathbed.

With that comforting thought, Courtney groaned and turned away from her clock and towards the wall, studying the plaster like her life depended on it; anything to get her away from the angry electric blue that followed her even when her eyes were sealed shut.

It was plain annoying how she knew that she still loved Duncan, no matter how many times she was forced to re-live the brutal truth that he no longer loved her whenever she came face-to-face with a tabloid at the checkout line when she would occasionally get groceries, or search his name on the Internet to see how he was coping; maybe Courtney couldn’t face the truth, couldn’t face that maybe she was no longer in love with Duncan but instead with the memories of him that were scattered about her life.

It felt odd going to her parents’ and not having to deal with her father staring Duncan down, and for Duncan to stare right back, passive-aggressively. Not to watch both men clench each other’s hands firmly while looking at the other dead in the eye when Courtney introduced them. Now whenever she went to her parents’, all she felt was the sore reminder that in the end, the Castillos were right — Duncan was nothing but trouble and pain in the end.

It was painful going to the mall without Duncan to lean on, or his hand to clutch as they would lazily walk around the shops. Or how Courtney no longer had to unfold each of Duncan’s clothes from being inside-out in the laundry or hand a mountain of objects found in Duncan’s pockets to him before stuffing his pants in the washer. Duncan used to (or maybe he still did, Courtney would have no idea,) stuff anything and everything he possibly could into his pockets — keys, empty wrappers of gum, cigarettes or small things he’d pick pocketed, even spare change (though Courtney used to mock him for still carrying pennies around — who does that? She’d tease).

“That’s what you get for always walking with your hands in your pockets,” Courtney used to barate. “Someday, you’re going to end up washing your wallet if it isn’t for me,”

“Yeah, well, you’ll always be here, so that’s not a concern,” Duncan had winked back.

All Courtney could do now was scowl at how that had aged.

Hell, Courtney found herself missing their arguments — mostly over the small and rather unimportant things, they were ironically some of her fondest memories. Half the time their arguments would end up with the two making out after Duncan had silenced her with a kiss, and Courtney was now well-aware no one would ever interrupt her in such a way ever again.

Duncan was the only person who Courtney would allow to interrupt her, though now he wouldn’t want to even listen to her, let alone care enough to plant a kiss on her lips when she was in the middle of talking. Courtney had never wanted someone to interrupt her more than she wanted Duncan to.

And I'll go sit on the floor

Wearing your clothes

All that I know is that

I don't know how to be something you miss

Never thought we'd have a last kiss

Never imagined we'd end like this

Your name, forever the name on my lips

So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep

And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe

And I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are

Hope it's nice where you are

( TIME JUMP: 4 Months after TDAS )

Two months after coming home, Courtney found herself slowly healing from the damage that Duncan had caused on her heart. Two more months after that, Courtney found herself genuinely able to smile after that without the desire for Duncan and Gwen to be by her side; a year after that, Total Drama All Stars has been done for four months and Courtney lived day-to-day life without thinking of either Duncan or Gwen.

Courtney had been laying low for that time; obnoxious, gossip-hungry tabloids had asked for a “statement” from her whenever Gwen or Duncan or one of her ex-contestants found themselves on a headline, but Courtney shot them down every time — her ego might have taken a huge hit from World Tour and that episode from All Stars, but she wasn’t desperate enough to willingly make an appearance and be interviewed by Celebrity Manhunt.

The questions for “statements” seemed to blur over time; do you have any words of advice for Heather, who suspects Alejandro of cheating? Have you heard Trent’s new single? Rumor has it it’s about Gwen and Duncan! Speaking of Gwen and Duncan, if they were reading this, what would you say to them?

It was an endless and rather tiring cycle of the paparazzi trying to lure a reaction out of her, which Courtney refused to give into.

However, one day as Courtney was loading her groceries on a conveyor belt at the local grocery store, a headline from a tabloid caught her eye. All Courtney read were the words Totally Dramatic, and Courtney knew she should look away — they were the same magazine that publicly called Courtney a bitch a few months ago, which she would never forget. Though she had self-control in public, she found that at 11PM on a Friday night she had little to no self-control and found herself pulling open her laptop and typing Totally Dramatic in the search bar on Safari.

Almost immediately, the faces of her ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend take over her screen, with the text underneath that’s all too hard to miss — Gwuncan Engagement Rumors Confirmed!?

Courtney could feel her the pit of her stomach drop and her heart shatter as it crashed to the ground below her.

It wasn’t that she missed Duncan — she didn’t! It was just that she so good at her job of avoiding Gwen and Duncan’s names like the plague she was blissfully unaware that they had gotten back together.

She would be lying if Courtney said she hadn’t thought of reaching out to Gwen — and shamefully, it would be a lie if Courtney swore she never considered sending a drunk text to Duncan (thankfully, she never had; it was a nightmare just thinking of the embarrassment that would cause) — but always decided against it because of three reasonings; there was no way either would want to hear from her, they hated her guts and Courtney would never allow her dignity to stoop as low as it had during the third season ever again.

But now — now Courtney was sure she would never reach out. Not even a quick Congratulations! text, not a gift basket, not even show up to Gwen’s bachelorette party if she felt bold enough. Courtney was positive that she was reduced to the stalking ex, browsing through both of their Instagrams, watching them mature and fall back in love through their own photographs. It was... strange, to say the least.

What was this feeling that was erupting inside her? It wasn’t jealousy, she had gotten over Duncan months ago, but it wasn’t sadness, resentment or anger, either. It was like the feeling of realizing that, as ironically and unbelievable as it was, the two had grown up without Courtney, and all she could do was watch from a distance. Watch them slowly move on from their memories of Courtney — both bad and good — until the mention of her left both indifferent; Courtney was almost positive that being hated by the two would be less painful than knowing that at one point, they were the closest and best people in her life and now they couldn’t care less on how Courtney was.

Courtney used to watch Gwen paint and draw with such concentration that she was sure she would be held accountable for messing her art up if she just so much as breathed too loudly. The furrow between her brows would deepen and the stormy gray of her eyes would be clouded over with concentration and care, and Courtney found herself wishing that she was as passionate about something as Gwen was of her art. Sure, she had her studies in law, but Gwen’s skills — they were truly beautiful. She used to watch Gwen’s head very thrown back a little when she laughed a little too hard, and how tears would leak from the corner of her eyes from laughter so easily. Or how whenever Gwen dyed her hair again, she would unintentionally run her fingers through it all of the time, leaving Courtney wandering just how soft her hair could possibly be with her double-conditioning. But now she would witness all of Gwen’s happiness through her phone’s screen when she would look up her name on Instagram.

Courtney also used to watch Duncan do so many miscellaneous things that it would be impossible to list them all; like how his eyes would glint with joy whenever he would successfully break a law, a small shot of success and pride to keep him going. Or how, as much as he stated he hated them, always showing great amounts of concern when his friends or family were stressed and immediately began brainstorming how to make them feel better. Or how no matter how tough he pretended to be, when he slept, he just looked so peaceful that it was impossible to find yourself able to avoid falling for him. But now all she’d be seeing of him was his face plastered on a tabloid, probably with his arms around Gwen’s waist.

Maybe she was being overdramatic, but it really was ironic how at one point, she had held them both so close she could feel them breathe but now all she felt was herself slowly becoming more and more insignificant to the two of them, until she was nothing more than just a blurry memory and a face that was hard to recall among others.

Someday in the future, she could already picture herself casually asking Bridgette how Duncan was, since he was still friends with Geoff and DJ, afterall — what would she be expecting? For him to be struggling to make a living and pay rent? For Duncan to be unhappy with his life and relationship? For Gwen and Duncan to experience as much pain as they inflicted on her?

Deep down, she knew the real answer; no matter how many times they’d backstab the other, Courtney just wanted Gwen and Duncan to have the best, even if it killed her to admit it.

A small part of her couldn’t help but wonder if they felt the same about her, too.

And I hope the sun shines

And it's a beautiful day

And something reminds you

You wish you had stayed

You can plan for a change in weather and time

But I never planned on you changing your mind

Maybe one day Duncan would look back on their relationship like Courtney had been doing for months — or maybe, a small part of her hoped, he had been.

All Courtney could hope for was that someday in the future, when Courtney had found peace and Gwen and Duncan were happily moving on to whatever chapter of their lives lied ahead of them, something small would catch Duncan’s eye — a picture of her on the news, a box that reeked of memories of her, even the mere mention of her name — would send him back in time to when they were sixteen and still in love and clueless to the cruel world around them, and maybe a small part of him that he thought died when he was a teenager would blossom again with the wish that he had stayed; they would always be their own biggest what-ifs.

Courtney had planned anything and everything in her life ahead of time; one thing she hadn’t ever expected? Duncan to give up on her and leave her with a last kiss while she still craved for more. And while he had moved on, Courtney was stuck in the past, but that was okay — if he could move on, so could she, and her while that may take time, she was fully prepared to wait it out; she may have been painted as the villain of the story, but she also deserved her happily ever after.

So I'll go sit on the floor

Wearing your clothes

All that I know is that

I don’t know how to be something you miss

Never thought we'd have a last kiss

Never imagined we'd end like this

Your name, forever the name on my lips

Just like our last kiss

Forever the name on my lips

Just like our last

#duncney #writing angsty and sad duncney in 2020?#couldn’t be me #total drama #td courtney #td duncan #gwuncan #td gwen #total drama world tour #total drama all stars #pls td tumblr forgive me #WHY DID I WRITE SM #song fic #song fic oneshots are my jam #please forgive me for writing all of this #enjoy angsty courtney is it obvious i love her with my entire heart

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pppsssyyyccchhhiiiccc · 4 years

Text

Do Something! - Xavier Plympton

pairing: xavier plympton x reader

warnings: swearing, gore, anxiety

———————————————————————

“The only way we’re getting out of this is if we split up.” Ray suggested. All four of us widened our eyes simultaneously.

“Split up? Are you fucking nuts? That’ll get us all killed faster!” I shouted, my hands on my hips.

“Well I don’t see anyone else jumping up with fucking ideas, do you?” He yelled back at me.

“Guys, stop yelling at each other! Y/N, I know you hate to hear it, but Ray’s right.” I rolled my eyes at Brooke; she’ll always side with a boy if it comes to it.

“We’re cornered right now, we don’t have many options. Jingles is out there, too, so maybe running in a huge group where he can pick us off might not be such a good idea.” She said.

“I think Brooke is right. Let’s split up. Y/N, you come with me and Brooke, and Ray you go with Rita. Look for everyone else, and if you can’t find them, double back to the cars, okay?” Chet spoke, surprisingly levelheaded in this intense situation. We all nodded and broke off into our groups.

We’d barely made it out of the cabin when we heard an eerily familiar voice.

“I told you I’d find you again, Satan’s path led me right to you.” The killer said. Brooke fell to the ground in her panic, looking back to me and Chet.

“Run!” She wailed, pointing to a trail heading into the woods. Chet looked to me and nodded, following me into the darkness. We ran for god knows how long with nothing chasing us, so we decided to stop and catch our breaths.

“Do you think Brooke’s okay?” I panted, leaning up against a thick branch. Chet stood a few feet away, hands on his knees as he swallowed air ferociously.

“She’ll be fine, that chick has a good survival instinct. We shou-” He was interrupted by a sound.

A terrifying sound I never hoped to hear:

Keys jingling.

We both stood straight up, paralyzed in terror. My heart rate sped up; I could practically feel it pounding in my chest.

I took off as fast as I could, hardly noticing the sound of Chet’s body hitting the ground behind me. I took a chance and glanced over my shoulder to see Mr Jingles only several steps away.

I yelped as my foot caught on a root, sending me hurtling to the forest floor. I slid backwards across the dirt, backing away as much as I could before I backed into a tree.

“P-please don’t hurt me, I-I haven’t done anything wrong!” I cried out, tears springing to my eyes.

Before I could say anything else, a scream followed by several twigs snapping was heard in the distance. I silently thanked whatever god was out there for the distraction.

Mr Jingles backed up and stared into the woods, making me think he would go after the noise. Instead, he quickly turned back to me and advanced rapidly towards me.

“N-no, what are you-” I screamed in agony as he brought his boot down on my ankle, all the bones crunching beneath his foot.

I tried to back away from the killer, but immense pain shot through my leg, rooting me to my spot. Thankfully, Jingles decided not to finish me off and walked off into the brush. I rested my head against the stump behind me, fading in and out of consciousness.

Suddenly, a hand clamped over my mouth, muffling my screams of distress. I clawed at the hands grabbing me, and the quickly released me. I took another deep breath, preparing to yell for help, but a familiar face came out from behind the tree.

“Xavier? Oh my god, thank god you’re here!” I hugged him tightly.

“I’m glad you’re okay, Y/N. Where’s everyone else?” He asked, eyes darting around the dark woods.

“The stalker caught up to Brooke, Ray and Rita ran off to try to find everyone, and me and Chet ran into Jingles.” I explained, trying to level my breathing.

“Let’s get out of here before one of them finds us. Maybe we can find Margaret and Bertie before we leave.” Xavier said, staring down at me. He looked at me for a second, head tilting in confusion. “Well come on, get up and come with me!”

“I can’t fucking walk, Xav! Jingles stomped the shit out of my fucking ankle, dumbass!” I tried to maintain a thoughtful volume, but sometimes his stupidity was impressive. His eyes widened in panic, resembling those of a cartoon character.

“Oh Jesus, I’m so sorry! Here, I got you,” He bent over, looping a hand under my knees and around my shoulders, lifting me up into his arms. The sudden movement jolted my ankle, forcing a moan of pain from my throat. “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Every step he took on the uneven ground bounced my foot up and down, causing little whimpers to bubble up from me.

Xavier kept apologizing as we walked, nearly every second word out of his mouth was some form of ‘sorry!’. We kept making our way towards the hope of running into any of the other counselors, but we were unlucky. We reached a clearing, stopping to catch our collective breaths when we heard it.

Two pairs of footsteps.

Coming from two different directions.

And a set of jingling keys.

I looked to Xavier with guidance, seeing his eyes wide as dinner plates. His head whipped around every which way, mapping out a place for us to hide. He managed to find a hollowed out tree, unfortunately only big enough for one body.

“Xavier, please don’t leave me. P-please don’t leave me, Xavier!” I whimpered into his neck, my tears soaking the skin there.

“Y/N, if you want both of us to make it out of here alive, I’m gonna need you to stay by yourself for a bit, okay?” He nodded reassuringly. I nodded begrudgingly, pulling myself from him and wedging into the hollowed out wood.

Xavier kept low, sliding away from me and slipping into a bush just within my field of vision. He was right, the tree was small, barely large enough to keep me standing. I tried to shift my weight onto the foot that hadn’t been mangled, but doing so made me let out an involuntary cry.

The world felt as if it had momentarily stopped spinning. Time was frozen still as I heard footsteps gaining on me. Everything moving so fast, yet so slow. In that moment, my life truly flashed before my eyes as I knew death was fast approaching.

I bit down on my hand, hot tears streaming down my face as I dared not to breathe. I looked to Xavier, his expression nearly mirroring mine.

Suddenly, I heard male voices shouting at each other, followed by grunts and knife slashes. I wanted so badly to peek out of my hiding to see what was happening, but I wasn’t sure if it was safe to come out yet.

Everything seemed to be blurring, the vivid colors of blue and green morphing into murky brown. I felt nothing, numb to the blood pouring from my shattered ankle, unaware of the fresh crimson seeping from my elbows and knees.

My leg gave out below me, the unforgiving ground quickly coming closer. But before I could crash down, I was pulled into Xavier’s arms. His gaze scanned me up and down, noticing my paled face and the cold sweat all over my body.

“Holy shit, you don’t look so good, babe.” He remarked bluntly. I groaned as he lifted me into his arms, looping mine weakly around his neck.

“Never felt better, actually.” I coughed, smiling tiredly. Xavier smiled a genuine, heartwarming smile, making my chest flutter.

“Even when the world tries to keep you down, you just keep getting back up, don’t you?” He remarked. “I’m gonna get us out of here, don’t you worry. We’re gonna get the fuck out of LA, move to San Fran or some shit. We’ll buy a huge mansion with a built in aerobics studio where I can teach lessons, and an art studio where you can paint. We’re gonna have a couple kids, and they’ll have grandkids, and we can grow old together, yeah?”

“We can put this whole fucking thing behind us, we don’t ever have to think of it anymore. I just need you to stay awake for me, okay baby?” Xavier nodded to me.

I was half passed out, but I heard every word clear as day. I’d wanted that with him for as long as I could remember, but truth be told I didn’t think he was the kind of guy to settle down so easily. What he’d just described was exactly what I wanted with him. All I ever wanted was a future with him.

But now, all I wished for was a future, and I didn’t even know if I’d get that.

“But I’m so tired, Xav, and it hurts so much.” I whined, my eyes fluttering shut.

“I know, I know, babe, I know it hurts. We’ll get you medical help as soon as we’re safe, I just need you to stay awake.” He reaffirmed, maneuvering through the brush.

“Just stay awake...”

———————————————————————

my first cody fern fic! i’m kinda proud of this, also it turned out longer than i thought it would. i actually like the ending for once, so i’m surprised.

feedback is always appreciated!

TAGLIST: @notquitepainless @life-rocked-me-like-motley @crimsonmoonss @fuckmedobrik @polarluxray @cobainlover @magicaljellydonut @totally-true @exvanpeters @heavymetalover @peachyklss @michael-langdon-baby @gracebtw @evanpeters-petermaximoff @imma-witch-bitch @dylisbae @felloff-the-moon @psychobitchtess @rosesometimeswrites @evandearest @harmcn

#ahs xavier #xavier plympton #xavier plympton imagine #xavier plympton x reader #xavier plympton oneshot #xavier plympton fanfiction #xavier plympton fic #xavier plympton fluff #cody fern #cody fern ahs

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prairiesongserial · 4 years

Text

10.5

“First of all,” Friday was saying, as Val sat down heavily on the stone windowsill of one of the stained glass windows that lined the hallway. “First of all...what’s our next move, here? We can’t stay at the convent forever, right?”

Val massaged his temples, pressing his fingers hard against his brow, as though he could physically push the tension out. How much had Friday told Cody? Cody didn’t look angry, but maybe he was good at hiding it. Or maybe Friday hadn’t told him anything, but had brought him there to force Val to do it himself.

“I thought you were going to go back to Vegas,” he said, finally glancing up at Friday. She stared back at him like he had suddenly grown a second head.

“Why would I go back to Vegas?” she asked. “I mean, not yet, anyway. I’m gonna travel with John and Cody until they get where they’re going. I kinda owe it to them, for not showing up when I was supposed to. And we did alright on the road, didn’t we?”

“For a loose definition of ‘alright’,” Val said, with a sigh. “Where are John and Cody going?”

“We don’t know,” Cody said. He was leaning against the wall, arms folded over his chest, looking a little nervous. “John might not be ready to leave for a while longer, and with Ethan...well, I could probably go home now. The rest of the Dead-Eyes abandoned him. But I don’t know what John wants to do, and I don’t know if the Dead-Eyes will feel different, now that I...now that Ethan’s gone.”

His eyes slid to the floor every time he said Ethan’s name, and he seemed to be struggling to say outright what he had done to Ethan. Val had been able to extrapolate, from the blood that had covered Cody and John at the riverbank, and the body half-hidden by the tall grass.

“Well, if you’re going back West, Friday and I can accompany you,” Val offered. Doubling back towards Vegas after reaching wherever Cody had come from - Oregon, he thought - wouldn’t be such an ordeal. Assuming, of course, that Friday would still intend to go back to Vegas once this was all over and done with.

“I thought you were going to stay here,” Friday said, giving him another strange look. Val gave her one right back, surprised that she had even entertained the idea.

“Why?”

“Well, it’s…” Friday gestured around her, vaguely. “You grew up here, right? You’re not glad to be back? You don’t want to stay?”

“I do,” Val said. He wondered if he’d given the impression that he wasn’t happy to be back. It was strange to be here, sure, but things were still familiar, and he was still among family for the first time in nearly a decade. He could have seen himself staying. “But I can’t abandon my church.”

“Your church that burned to the ground, you mean,” Friday said, pointedly.

Cody glanced up. “What?”

“Val’s church got destroyed,” Friday said, before Val could stop her. “Dead-Eyes burned it, when they came through town after you and John left. It’s one of the reasons we were late coming up behind you on the road - and it’s why Val came with me.”

“Shit,” Cody said, his eyes suddenly wide with shock and realization. “I mean - I didn’t - I’m sorry.”

“It isn’t your fault,” Val said. He could feel exhaustion creeping into his bones, the all-too-familiar sensation of a secret he would rather have kept under wraps twisting like a knife in his gut. This was the time to confess.

“Ethan came to the church because someone - the doctor who treated you, I think - told him you’d been there. He threatened to burn the place down unless I told him where you were going,” he went on, then paused, taking a breath. He wrapped his hands around the edge of the windowsill, feeling the cool stone against the scar tissue on his palms. “So, I told him. And then he burned down the church anyway.” He lifted his hands, palm-up, to show Cody his scars. “And me, for good measure. I figure it’s the punishment I deserve for giving you up so easily, but I’d still like to go back and try to fix my church.”

“Nearly the whole district burned, too,” Friday said, darkly. “It’s a wonder the Ace didn’t go up.”

“Shit,” Cody said, again, leaning in to look at Val’s hands. His expression was less shocked now, and more annoyed - almost angry. “I knew Ethan was a son of a bitch, but I didn’t think he’d attack a priest.”

“I shouldn’t have given you up,” Val said, turning his hands over again once Cody had gotten a good enough look at them. He felt uneasy that Cody didn’t seem to be upset with him, and wondered if Cody really understood the degree to which he had been wronged. “It’s probably one of the reasons he was able to catch up with you so quickly. I’m sorry.”

“Uh, thanks,” Cody said awkwardly, taking a step backwards. “I mean - it’s not really your fault.”

“It is explicitly my fault,” Val said, frowning. “If I hadn’t told him where you were going, then John -”

“Ethan would’ve caught up to us no matter what. He was gonna hunt me down no matter what anyone else did, and he would’ve tried to kill John no matter where he found us,” Cody said. There was a sort of grim resignation in his tone and posture that said he had thought about this extensively in his time at the convent. Val noticed now that for all the trouble Cody seemed to be having saying Ethan’s name, he had never once looked guilty about it. “He would’ve killed you if you hadn’t told him where we were, and it’s probably good that he didn’t, because you pretty much saved John’s life back there. And Ethan’s good at taking the stuff people care about and using it against them, so - I mean, you can feel bad about ratting us out if you want, but Ethan manipulated you. It’s what he does. It’s not your fault, man.”

Val blinked at Cody, at a loss for words. He glanced to Friday, who looked equally stunned by the reaction his confession had gotten. Apparently Cody was less vengeful than either of them had been giving him credit for. Though, in all fairness, their last interactions with him had been while he was half-dead and out of his mind with a fever. They hardly knew him.

Val cleared his throat, finally. “I...thank you, Cody.”

“Sure,” Cody said, with a shrug. “Sorry about your church.”

“Thank you,” Val said, again, because he still wasn’t sure what else there was to say.

Cody looked between Val and Friday for a moment, as though trying to gauge if either of them was going to start talking to him again, and then peeled himself off the wall, jamming his hands into his pockets.

“I’m gonna see if John’s awake,” he said, glancing over his shoulder and down the hall. “They usually bring him breakfast around this time.”

“I saw him on my way here, actually,” Val said. He’d almost forgotten, with everything that had happened since. “He was taking a walk. But I doubt he got very far. He’s probably back in his room by now.”

Cody’s face brightened considerably at this news, his eyebrows lifting in pleasant surprise.

“Really?” he asked, with an edge of excitement he hadn’t had before. “He was walking around?”

“He was indeed,” Val said, with a nod.

“That’s great,” Cody said, already moving down the hall, as though he would simply explode if he had to stand still any longer. “I’m gonna go find him. See you guys at dinner, or whatever.”

He was gone in seconds, practically bounding around the corner and out of sight. Val and Friday both watched him go in silence, though it wasn’t long before Friday turned back to Val, one hand propped on her hip.

“Well, that went well,” she said, sounding about as stunned as Val felt.

“Better than it could have gone,” Val agreed, hesitantly. It was a little funny how he’d managed to cross two of the conversations he’d needed to have off his list at once, and yet he didn’t feel particularly accomplished, or any less anxious and guilty than he had been. Still, Cody had forgiven him, even when Val hadn’t thought that he necessarily deserved forgiveness. Maybe he would feel better about that later, when he had the time to process what it meant.

“You didn’t really answer my question, you know,” Friday said. “About what you’re gonna do next.”

“Well,” Val replied, getting to his feet, “to tell you the truth, I think that what I’m going to do next is go back in that room and teach some children about the story of Jacob and Esau.”

10.4 || 10.6

#story

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ibreakforthewickedhorse · 5 years

Text

Set It Off @ Amsterdam

Here I am with another story. This is written off of a list with almost 70 things that happened that day, so we’ll see how it goes.

So I got to Amsterdam around 1 PM, taking the tram for the last part. While I’m in the tram I notice Maxx posting a story of him annoying ducks at the venue, and a bit later of the square near the venue. The square my tram would arrive at literally 5 minutes later (which was also the stop I had to get off). But of course, by the time I got there he was nowhere to be seen. He’d gone on to a canal and I wandered around the city for a while but he was nowhere to be seen and quiet on IG. I did however see the guys from Vukovi and Bearings walking around. Then Maxx posted a story of some pigeons at a vegan place, and while heading to the venue I walk across this part of the street with a lot of food places and of course, there’s the very recognizable wall from the story Maxx posted only minutes ago, but once again he’s gone. Long story short, Maxx is always one step ahead of me.

My feet kinda hurt from speedwalking through Amsterdam looking for Maxx at this point, so I decide to take a seat at a terrace of a lunch place to have a drink and a late lunch. Here I am just chilling, waiting for my food when I turn to my right and see blueberry Cody pop up in the crowd. I was waiting for my food, so I couldn’t exactly run up to him to say hi because they’d think I’d be leaving without paying, so instead I just watch him in all his beautiful blueberry glory.

After that, I decide to go and wait at the venue. Pretty soon after I sat down there, Maxx walked past (I thought he was at the venue already but apparently not), looking all free haired, red and ugly sunglassed. A bit later Maxx is once again posting stories, and this time it’s him playing with a dog with... the toy I got Dan in Antwerp. I loved seeing them actually use it! Set It Off played upstairs in the venue, and there were these big windows they were chilling behind, so I think Zach and Maxx were standing there and they started waving so naturally we waved back, and Maxx filmed it for his story. Also, Zach dabbed. Then Zach continued to take the dog and pull a Simba with it, holding it up for us to see. A bit later they had both managed to get their hands on what was probably Dans trumpet, and these gremlins are playing trumpet. We couldn’t hear anything unfortunately. The last thing Maxx did was stand in front of the window and then just go down and disappear at the bottom of the window.

After all of that happening, it’s time for VIP. As soon as I walk up to them for the groupspicture Maxx is like ‘welcome back!’ and I think they said things like, round 2 and great to see you again, but I was just really happy they recognized me, which I guess isn’t that hard but it still meant a lot to me. Maxxs hair was still free, which is, you know, pretty great. Where it was side hugs the last time, I got proper hugs from Cody, Zach and Dan this time which was great.

I first went up to Maxx because I had presents for him. I got him this Playmobil pluche that said ‘Maxx’ with double x. He took it out of the bag and liked it already, before I explained that it said Maxx and that’s why I had to get it for him. I also got him a Gremlin t-shirt, because of course I have to stay on brand. Maxx only like half-unfolded the shirt before he was like ‘it’s a gremlin, isn’t it?’ He knows my brand!! He liked it and I really hope I’ll get to see him wear it someday.

In Antwerp I told Cody and Dan I would be seeing them in Amsterdam as well, so they both asked how my trip was and Dan asked how my ‘day off’ was, because the day between those was Easter. He asked if I was still in school or working, so we talked about that for a little and then got the picture. He took my phone and I told him there was a pop socket, because he wanted to use it in Antwerp and he was impressed I remembered he liked the pop socket. I also got to tell him their show was my favorite show I’d ever been to. I told him I saw the dog toy I got him on Instagram (as in, I loved it, not as in, it’s meant for Zelda what are you doing). He explained how his friends dog was there, but it was very bored so they went to get the toy to entertain the dog.

I went onto Zach but to be honest I’m not entirely sure what we talked about. I think he asked how my trip was, and he thanked me for coming to the show again. We got a photo, but when I shared it in our groupchat I realized I looked pretty dumb in it, so after I’d seen everyone I went back over to Zach and we took a new one.

I went onto Cody, who also asked me about my trip, knowing I’d been to Antwerp as well. I think he remembered that I lived in the middle between Amsterdam and Antwerp. We took photos, and Cody joked about how great the blue lighting was. After that I was gathering all my courage to joke about something he did in Antwerp, and just as I had gathered all of it, he went on to someone else, but he realized right away I wanted to say more so he turned back to me. In Antwerp, he was lowkey making fun of my resting bitch face and telling me to smile, by bringing his face up to mine, grinning and pointing at his face. I made a joke about it, asking if he was gonna make fun of me tonight, and he remembered doing it, and explained how he thought I was angry and he just wanted to make me smile - which he did. But he knew I was enjoying myself, so it was great. Cody is great.

Someone asked Maxx about the Drip Drip song and Maxx was very confused. A while ago there was a song called Drip Drip on their Spotify that wasn’t theirs. He explained there’s another artist called Set It Off, and Spotify messed up. They were equally confused about it, and joked about them being like, did we make a song called drip drip? At least I think he did. He continued to talk about how missing Pistol was the hardest part of being on tour, and that’s also why he got a cat because they’re pretty low maintenance as long as they have food.

I also hugged all of them many times, which I feel is important to mention. Also, Maxx - being the gremlin that he is - left the gifts on stage, so I managed to get a hold of the giftbag and gave it to someone on the crew to give to Maxx. I really hope he got it, but he did like my insta comment about it so yeah.

Then it was time for the first band (after a bit of waiting) which is Bearings. Personally I’m a big fan of their bassist who is also a gremlin, and also their drummer who is very happy. I’ve come to like them and will definitely listen to them more. If you don’t know them, give Aforementioned a listen! There was crowdsurfing at Bearings and someone literally jumped in the face of the girl next to me, which was pretty inconsiderate and it resulted in everyone ducking when there were people crowdsurfing, leaving me on my own to get people to the stage, which I couldn’t do

While we were waiting for Vukovi Cody felt the need to post a beautiful picture of him. And they were also playing one of my favorite The Maine songs, which is My Best Habit. And Maxx posted a pigtails photo. PIGTAILS. WE WERE GETTING PIGTAILS. And also Maxx in red.

A lot happened during Set It Offs set, so I’m just not gonna care about chronological order because I. Don’t. Remember. It’s all one big happy blur. One memorable thing that happened was Cody falling over during Partners In Crime. It was honestly pretty scary in the moment because he could’ve really hurt himself, but instead he just lost his shoe and took the other one off as well. Maxx was literally laughing so hard while they were still finishing the song and Cody just looked either really annoyed or really embarrased, but he got back into it. By the time they finished the song, the guys did actually ask Cody if he was okay, I think. And then he said something to us about falling so hard he lost his shoe.

Cody held my hand like twice during the set (pretty sure that’s my hand ^), and one of those times he was actually smiling at me, and we had a moment where I could just tell we were both thinking of the resting bitch face conversation we had earlier, because he was grinning, causing me to smile too. Someone I know had asked me to get a good photo of Maxx with pigtails, so I took a lot of photos of Maxx, and he definitely noticed and even posed at one point, but my phone wasn’t quick enough to get the right moment. I always feel like Maxx is so into the drumming he has no clue what’s happening around him (hence the gremlin thing) but we definitely had eye contact a couple of times, but that might’ve been because I was staring at him the whole time. The stage was pretty small and since I was front row, looking at Cody constantly was giving me a stiff neck. I honestly just love watching Maxx drum because he does so much weird shit that makes me laugh. Also, his pig tails looked like bunny ears when they were backlit.

During Killer In The Mirror Cody attempted to do the crowd walk, but I’m pretty sure we almost fell over because he only took like 2 steps into the crowd. But this was also the crowd that was ducking for crowdsurfers. I think the crowd was generally younger than it was in Antwerp and to be fair, crowdsurfers terrified me as well as a teenager.

When they played Unopened Windows there was a girl in the crowd who burst into tears right away and you could tell Cody was struggling to get through the song. I think he was tearing up and he just looked so sad and I just wanted to hug him.

People were yelling at Cody to do Talk Dirty, and he was almost offended saying how it was not even a Set It Off song, so they weren’t gonna do it. Also, Cody was so fragrant I could smell him from front row and it was a great smell. Love men who smell nice.

Almost as soon as Set It Off was done, we’d received our group photos from the Antwerp show, which was a nice surprise too. I got some merchandise, a long sleeve and a T-shirt, and Claire pointed out it was the long sleeve with the wrong Killer In The Mirror lyrics, but they corrected them, apparently.

After the show there were still a couple of us waiting outside, and for some reason a bunch of people started calling Cody, because he was sitting in front of that window again. It took him a while to notice but eventually he turned around to wave and recorded it on his story. I tweeted about how the audiences hearts collectively dropped when Cody fell over and I shared my m&g photo and Cody liked both tweets. Also, Maxx and Dan were shirtless in front of the window.

I was really conflicted, because my tram left at 00:21, and if I missed it, the next option would be the bus at 01:09, so I’d have to wait 50 more minutes. By 00:15 Set It Off was still just sitting upstairs, so I was really doubting but decided to stay anyway. All of the other people waiting there left at this point, so now it really was just me.

Around 00:35 I’d say, Maxx, Cody and Zach finally came out. Zach and Maxx walked straight over to their bus (Dan had come by earlier and took a couple of pictures), but Cody noticed me and walked right up to me. He thanked me for waiting for so long, and said he hoped I had fun, and we hugged. Naturally, I asked him if he was okay after that fall, so he said he was totally fine and didn’t even have a single bruise. He didn’t know what happened but thought he might’ve tripped over the mic stand, because he took it down with him. He just really hoped no one had recordings of him falling over, but he hadn’t seen anything so far.

He asked if I wanted to take another selfie, for memory purposes. I’d just wanted to get a hug because I didn’t want to bother them after their show since they must be tired, but well, since he’s offering we did get another selfie. I look shit, Cody looks like an angel but this picture will always remind me of that moment where I had Cody fucking Carsons undivided attention for about 5 minutes. There were many, MANY hugs involved in this. During one of which, I dropped my phone, which Cody heard and was like ‘oh no!’ and made sure it was okay (it was). There were some pretty tight hugs, it was great. He asked if I was going to the Germany shows as well, which I wasn’t unfortunately because they were sold out already. We talked for a bit about how I was traveling home, and I explained I parked my car outside the city because parking was so expensive in Amsterdam, and how I had to take a tram there. Cody was about to leave, but I had to go the same way, so he was like ‘you have to go this way too?’ and I said yes, and he was like ‘I’ll walk with you then’. We walked to their bus, and I remembered and got the courage to ask him if he knew Maxx got the gifts back, and Cody assured me they always make sure they don’t leave anything behind so Maxx must’ve gotten them.

I later realized how this whole conversation, and also asking him about the resting bitch face thing, was miles out of my comfort zone. Cody just has a way of creating such a feeling of safety that I felt perfectly comfortable stepping out of my comfort zone like that and I love him so much for that.

Long story short, I’m in Cody’s lane now and there’s no one I’d rather be sleep deprived for (I got home at 2:50 AM) and I cried a lot in the car. I’d die for him. I miss them so much already. Money means nothing if I’m not using it to see Cody Carson, am I right? Getting home was a mess, which Claire described pretty well

#sio #set it off #cody carson #maxx danziger #zach dewall #dan clermont #m&g #vip #my show #mwt #amsterdam

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duckball · 7 years

Text

It’s the end of the #bb19 Road

Okay people, our long summer nightmare will finally be over. We’ve got two hours to go, we can make it guys. Julie is rocking a hot black jumpsuit and looking lit AF.

I don’t know about you, but I never want to hear pots and pans banged together in the house, or circus music again in my life.

They’re holding tails of unicorns, while balancing on a cloud and the unicorn is farting rainbows on them.

Dear Paul, the Unicorn is sick of hearing you say Pissed. It was barely cute last season.

Josh drops at 40 minutes.

Christmas drops at whatever time because they didn’t show it on the screen.

Paul screams because he won part 1, and now he’s crying.

Christmas is crying because she fell.

Part two time, Josh vs. Christmas.

Sorry, I got distracted on Tinder. Josh won by 7 minutes.

Dear Christmas, you suck at everything not just this competition. And yeah girl you should’ve gone home as soon as you broke your foot. Girl, you’ve got your own slew of medical bills, CBS isn’t paying for that foot.

JURY TIME!!

Hey Dr. Will, looking good boo!

Cody says he thinks Kevin is joining them because he’s more likable than the rest. Alex says she wants to break Christmas’ other leg—girl you’re in for a shock in a few hours.

Kevin joins, gives everyone a hug. Mark and Matt/Raven arguing.

Dr. Will tries to get them to focus, and Raven calls Josh mentally unstable, Cody doesn’t respect him as a dude, and Jason calls him a nonviolent psychopath, Elena doesn’t respect Josh as human being.

Cody calls Paul and Josh both scum, Josh took action, while Paul hid in a room. Matt says it’s impressive he made finale 3 after fighting with the whole house.

Dr. Will asks why Christmas deserves to win. Her biggest move is that Jason broke her foot. Matt thinks her best game move is aligning with Josh.

Dr. Will asks why Paul should win the game. Kevin points out that Paul is clever and manipulated. Dr. Will, points out that while Paul did have safety the first 3 weeks, but Cody also benefited from the Battle Back, Halting Hex.

Mark points out that Paul had a Final 3 with everyone.

Elena admits to being a bitter jury member and Will asks if that’s poor jury management and Elena is like oh yeah.

Jason says he over lied.

Dr. Will calls Alex out on lying and backstabbing.

Did Raven really just ask if we’re playing Big Baby?

Dr. Will calls them all sore losers. Jason admits it.

Mark says that pots and pans were Josh’s biggest aspect.

Raven is babbling about a surgery, and the reactions from everyone’s face is just like bitch stfu.

Dr. Will tells them to make the questions count.

Final HoH part, the scales of Just Us…same comp, same set we’ve had since 15.

Josh wins the final HoH.

Final Pleas for Paul and Christmas

Josh votes to evict Christmas.

Our Final 2 is officially Josh and Paul.

Josh, Paul, and Christmas have a group hug.

Julie tells Christmas she needs to leave.

Christmas is crying.

Jury enters…Matt is wearing a wild print shirt. I am shook.

Julie has Christmas come out and join them, and then reveals that Josh won the final HoH.

Elena questions Paul about the bullying tactics in the game. DAMN she went right for it.

Paul is like WTF no.

Matt wants to know why it seems like Josh had no strategy.

Alex wants to know why Paul went against Friendship?

Paul is like huh, no.

Cody asks how Josh played his own game and not Paul’s.

Josh, rambles on about using business strategy.

Jason asks Paul why he lied to the people he knew were leavings.

Mark asks Josh about his altercations in the house and how it served his game.

Josh says it was to expose others games.

Christmas asks Josh if he would rather evict pepe or crutches.

Pepe, because of Creepy Christmas hugs.

The actual final pleas and why they deserve to win Big Brother.

Paul is up first, admits to setting up the house target.

Josh is up next, says he had to put targets on others in the house to expose shady games. He lost his train of thought, it was actually kind of adorable—if he wasn’t the same guy who banged pots and pans.

Julie makes sure to remind them they insert the key of the person they want to see win the game.

Cody, “I’m going to stay true to my word.”

Elena, “Cut scene theirs no jury management.”

Mark, “Congratulations both of you.”

Matt, “I am voting for the person I think did simply more in every aspect of the game.”

Jason, “You both aligned with me, somebodies got to go.”

Raven, “I’m voting for the person who I think played the best game.”

Alex, “Voting for person who stabbed her in the front instead of the back.”

Kevin, “You both played a great game, congratulations to both of you.”

Christmas, “I love you both, I’m proud of you both, this is 100% game move.”

Pre-Jury evictees get to join the stage.

Jessica tells them Paul had an alliance with everyone except Cody, no one meant more to anyone, referred to himself as a puppet master.

Even Julie is like, “Yeah you guys were all “I trust Paul.” Then they play a montage of all of them trusting Paul.

Cody is just not impressed with this montage.

Julie asks Jessica if she had made Jury who she would vote for, she says she would vote for Paul.

Julie asks Jason if he’s surprised everyone trusted Paul.

Julie wants to know who Paul found it the hardest to betray, he says all, and Aleix is shaking her head in disgust.

They play some of Josh’s goodbye messages and Paul is like you suck Josh for telling the jurors the truth.

Cameron, says he was surprised by the amount of showmances right away,

Jess and Cody still want to be together. Please place your bets on how long that actually lasts. Who sends naked pictures via skype?

Time to crown the winner.

Christmas voted for Paul.

Kevin voted for Paul.

Alex voted for Josh.

Raven voted for Paul.

Jason voted for Josh.

Matt voted for Paul.

Mark voted for Josh.

Elena voted for Josh.

Cody voted for Josh.

Josh won Big Brother 19.

Paul finished second—again.

Josh is still in shock, Julie asks how Paul came up short this time.

Over 15 million votes were cast for AFP, Kevin, Cody, and Jason are the top 3.

America’s favorite player is Cody.

It doesn’t make sense to Cody.

Okay, that’s all folks for this season, we’ll pop back up for Celebrity Big Brother this winter.

#Big Brother #BB19 #Big Brother 19 #Finale Night #HOLY MOCHA!

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unrequitedmime · 7 years

Quote

Cairo raised one delicately defined eyebrow, "That's your evidence?" Koda spun to face her, brown strands of hair slicing through air. Her green eyes were burning with a storm of emotions, and Zachariah nearly took a step away from her when he recognised the sparkle between her long eyelashes. He did not fancy emotions. Not at all. The air between Cairo and Koda suddenly seemed to tingle with tension. Zachariah wish he had a knife so that he could truly test the metaphor used. Usually he was a skeptic, but he was quiet sure that something in the air would split between them if he swung his hand through. He was sure he would be zapped if he walked between them. He remained where he was; in the door frame. Damaris leaned against one side of the frame, his insufferable hair a mess. Despite the late hour, the light from the hall behind him seemed to shine through and paint a halo around him. His brown eyes shone. Zachariah could feel his body heat. He stepped away. Damaris didn't spare him a glance as he strode forward, delicately resting his hand upon Koda's arm to calm her energy. Zachariah had the faintest impression that he was expected to do that, considering his friendship with Koda. But Zachariah did not fancy emotions. "He's gone, Cairo," Koda's voice was a sharp, loud slap. "I can feel it in my bones." "Well, tell your bones to call the police." "God, you're a bitch sometimes Cairo," Minnie breathed somewhere behind Zachariah. He could feel her breath on the back of his neck and nearly startled. Zachariah hadn't seen her in the shadows of Cody's room. If he had, he would have stayed in the doorway. "Shut up Minnie," Cairo's voice was a punch. To be fair, Cairo was quite a bitch sometimes. But Zachariah did not quite like Minnie, so his mouth remained closed. "Hey now," Damaris said. His voice was barely above a whisper, yet somehow it carried the entire ocean. It seemed to wash over every body in the room and calm their hearts. He watched their deep breaths and their fluttering eyelashes. He wondered why they thought it a good idea to breathe underwater. He wondered if they knew that salt water made your eyes sting when you came back to the surface. Oh, well. "There's no need to be frustrated, or mad, or worried." Each of those emotions flickered to dust within the three girls. Zachariah watched Damaris work his magic. It seemed to flow through the air like fairy dust. Zachariah tried not to breathe too deeply. Koda released a shuddering breath and closed her eyes, clenching her jaw. Zachariah watched the muscles in her cheek string to life in her frustration. He wondered if she was frustrated at Cody, Cairo, herself, or the world. Possibly all. "Something's wrong, Damaris," she whispered, her voice shattering as she spoke. She sounded as if she were walking upon shards of glass. "I can feel it. I need to find him." "You will find him," Damaris replied softly, his voice practically curing world hunger. "There's no need to worry, K. You know Cody as well as I; he's probably out drinking, or maybe he went for a road trip and forgot to text? How many times has he done that, huh?" He laughed gently, and Zachariah watched again as chests loosened at the pure sound. Like running water. Koda shook her head, hair shaking, "No, Wez. This is different. I know he did stupid things sometimes and left without telling anyone, but I always knew he was safe; I could feel it." "And now?" Benjamin's light voice drifted with the air. Koda's bottom lip trembled. It reminded Zachariah of clouds before thunder storms. "Nothing," she whispered, her voice falling apart, "Absolutely nothing." "Maybe if you sleep you'll find that feeling of safety again," Zee suggested carefully, her voice kind. It sounded like white clouds. "No," Koda snapped, angry yet again. "I don't need sleep, I need to find my twin brother and bring him home." Zachariah did not quite like Cody. He was an impulsively lost and wild spirit. He laughed too long at jokes, had dull eyes, and he smelled of cigarette smoke. Zachariah was surprised his fingers had not permanently melded to accommodate the curve of a beer can. He also surfed. Zachariah did not trust boys that surfed. Damaris surfed. Cody loved his sister, though. When Cody looked at Koda it reminded Zachariah of the way the sun shone brightly at the moon before it settled beneath the waves of the horizon. Losing, yet adoring. "Where do you think he is, then?" Minnie asked, her voice as soft as Zachariah's blankets back at home. He wish he was there. Minnie was still too close again. Zachariah moved back to the door frame. "I don't know." Cairo expelled a breath of air, "Well then how the hell are we supposed to know where to look?" Koda's glare was so hot Zachariah levitated towards it. Zachariah was so cold, and he craved the heat. With an empty and exhausted mind, he stepped closer to Koda. The next thing he knew, Damaris was in front of him, one hand on his chest as he gently saved him from the girls' wrath and pushed Zachariah back to his spot. Zachariah was slightly taller than Damaris and intended to glare down at him. Then he noticed how warm Damaris' skin was through his t-shirt. He obediently stepped back, letting Damaris' warmth seep into his chest and expand like tendrils of calming flame. It slowly spread through his cold body, bringing back feeling to his numb mind and heart. He expelled a single breath of air, letting the emptiness release from his body. Damaris' hand was heavy on his chest. He pushed it off, and Damaris let it drop, his eyes on Koda and Cairo. Zachariah ran a hand through his hair, enjoying the feeling of his smooth strands against his shivering skin. He felt a heavy gaze resting upon him and turned to find Minnie watching. Not him, exactly. Her eyes were upon his chest, as if she could see the warmth that swum out from his centre. As if it glowed. He glanced down to check himself; no glow. He met her eyes. They were cold as ice. Zachariah took a step closer to Damaris. "Cairo," Koda growled, a mama bear, "I understand that its your birthday, but can you stop being such a self centred bitch for three seconds of your god damned life?" Zachariah was sure that if he breathed too deeply frost would flow from his lips. Two cold, angry women with gazes heavy enough to bury alive. Everyone held their breath. "I'm going," Cairo announced, spinning on her heel. Her sky hair flowed behind her as she strode from the room, blue expanse trying to keep up with flowing jets. Blue skies preparing for a storm. She was the storm. "Whoever wants a ride, feel free to join." Zee wordlessly followed her from the room, loyal to the very end. She had plaited her hair down her back, and Zachariah watched it bounce against her spine as she slipped past. Benjamin followed her, his long legs taking careful strides so not to make too much noise. He, like Zachariah, most likely feared that the slightest creak in the floorboards would pull Cairo back with rearing fists. He prayed that Benjamin didn't creak any floorboards. A small body warmed his arm. He looked down to Minnie with disdain. "You coming, Zach?" She asked, her voice a delicate flower in the breeze. He stared at her. He supposed she wasn't ugly. Her red hair hung in a neat bob, and her deep blue eyes were interesting to look at. Zachariah noticed she had a light spray of freckles across her button nose. No, he decided, she wasn't ugly at all. "My name is Zachariah." "And only I can call him Zach, sweet cheeks," Damaris reminded. "No," Zachariah said, "You cannot." Minnie let out a shaky breath, "Are you coming or not?" "No, he's staying with us," Damaris answered, his voice suddenly firm, as if daring Minnie to object. She glanced irritably at him and Zachariah blinked. No one had ever glanced irritably at Damaris. For how could you hate the sun for shining and blessing the Earth with light. Zachariah personally thought that sunlight was overrated. Minnie's skin was pale. Perhaps she had never liked the sun either. He wondered what made her brave enough to announce that she preferred darkness. He remembered her cold eyes. She huffed before storming away, the neatest mess of red hair and swirling floral dresses that Zachariah had ever seen. He blinked again. No one stormed away from Damaris. He glanced at the sunshine boy and found him staring at the doorway in confusion. It burnt in his eyes. Everything burnt in his eyes. He turned away suddenly, his face transforming into a warm hug for Koda. There it was; the shift. Why was he the only one that ever saw it? "No fucking way," Cairo's snarl was like a dagger ripping through the air. It struck Zachariah's sleeping skin and he sat upright, his heart racing. Sunlight swum through the loft, bleeding through the large windows. They were splashed with colour; courtesy of Cairo, and the rays shone like small rainbows as they washed over the lounge. He could feel it shining through his hair. He was sure that his hair was a mess of brown-reddish waves. A messy ocean washing upon pale sand. Everything was slightly blurred, as it always was without his glasses. He pat the couch for them, panicked, and a moment later they were placed upon his head, Cairo's touch light as a feather. He flinched. Cairo stepped back, letting her hands fall as she waited for his eyes to adjust. He blinked up at her. She stared back, unimpressed. Her hands were crossed over her chest. He winced. Cairo was dangerous when her arms were crossed. A dragon in blue skies. "Why the hell are you on the couch?" He blinked up at her, silent. He didn't like being sworn at. And he was tired. Zachariah watched Damaris' door fly open in the corner of his eye. He noticed that his own door, beside Damaris', remained closed. Zachariah had no doubt in his mind that Koda was awake, if she had even slept. He also had no doubt in his mind that she trusted Damaris to calm Cairo down before she appeared. Apparently everyone trusted Damaris. He didn't quite understand why. The sunshine boy skidded out of his room barefoot. His own hair was an autumn birds nest upon his head. His eyes were wide and slightly unfocused as he raced out to Cairo, his sweats shifting with every step. "Cairo!" He smiled dramatically, "Morning, love, how was your sleep?" "I hope you're not trying to woo my girlfriend, Wez," came Zee's voice from the kitchen. Damaris' eyes fell upon her, somewhere behind Zachariah's spot on the lounge, before he grinned his crooked grin. If he listened hard enough, Zachariah could hear Zee's heart soften and sing. He didn't quite understand why. How could a grin that was not straight possibly be endearing? "Of course not, Zee," he winked, "You two are a love story I enjoy watching unfold from the very core of my heart." Zachariah blinked. He wondered how long it would be until Koda walked out of his room. He would quite like his bed back. He had a dreadful sleep last night. "Zachariah, why are you on the couch?" Cairo asked yet again, refusing to be swept away by Damaris' words. Damaris' eyes fell upon Zachariah, and he too, frowned slightly. "Really, Goldie? You slept on the couch? When the mattress is right over there?" Zachariah glanced at it. And abandoned mattress in the corner of the loft, closest to Zachariah's room. It had been there as long as he could remember; a forgotten bed made of nothing but undesired love and aesthetic sunshine. No one used it; all occupants of the loft had their own beds. It was simply a place of comfort. It was for those in dire need of a space to think. Zachariah never used it. Neither did Cairo or Damaris. Benjamin used it the most, and he didn't even live with them. He was the one that cared enough to change the sheets every week. This week the mattress wore a peach coloured sheet with pillows full of painted ferns. It was a peculiar sight, and it was quite ugly. Therefore, it matched everything in the loft perfectly. The mismatched decor of the loft frustrated Zachariah if he allowed himself to think about it too deeply. He mostly ignored Cairo's taste for style, more so, the lack of. Her desire for a fun and crazy life had leaked into her home without Zachariah or Damaris' permission. She adored all things odd and old. Zachariah did not. Many mornings he had walked into their kitchen and found Damaris standing silently, observing the latest appliance that Cairo had brought home from a suit case rummage somewhere. Together they would stand, analysing the oddness of the object in silence, before moving on, avoiding the appliance until Cairo showed them how to work the mysterious thing. Those moments were the only times that Zachariah and Damaris had ever come close to resembling friends. He preferred not to think about those mornings. "Benjamin naps on that mattress," Zachariah said. Damaris glanced at the mattress once before releasing a snort whilst Cairo frowned in confusion. Damaris seemed to be the only one that ever understood Zachariah's words. It certainly wasn't an achievement; most should understand his words. Zachariah didn't quite understand why many frowned in confusion; he spoke clearly enough. "Now, now, goldie," Damaris grinned; crooked, of course. "Don't be mean to poor Benjamin. He's a nice chap." The only times Zachariah could stand to hear Damaris' voice was when his British accent shone through the American. His childhood in Britain was well hidden until Damaris used phrases that any Englishman would cherish within their hearts. He didn't quite like Damaris, but he enjoyed the sound of his voice. An deep American accent, but with the rough edge of something more. A slight lilt to his words. It was fascinating. "Don't call me Goldie," Zachariah said, "My name is Zachariah." A laugh escaped a pair of lips. Cairo let her eyes flutter shut, smiling finally; a gentle smile that seemed to bless her lips. Everything in her face softened. Zachariah blinked in surprise; surely he hadn't made her smile? Zachariah never made people smile, or laugh. He was not funny. "Ah," she sighed, tilting her face to the sunlight, "Now I can begin my day." Confusion sat heavy in Zachariah's stomach, but he remained quiet. "What?" Zee called from the kitchen, her voice echoing off the marble floors and brick walls. Cairo opened her eyes, smiling at her girlfriend, "Zachariah said his name was Zachariah. The world had righted; the rotation of Earth continues." Zee laughed softly, and Zachariah had the faintest impression that he was being made fun of. He did not enjoy being made fun of. "I wouldn't have to say it if you all called me Zachariah. That is my name." Damaris released a laugh, "We know, Goldie, trust me." Irritation flickered within Zachariah. He didn't enjoy it when people called him Zach, but he hated when Damaris called him Goldie. The moment Damaris had noticed that Zachariah's glasses were rimmed with gold, he had grinned his insufferable grin and announced the nickname that swum to the surface only when Zachariah couldn't find his contacts. Zachariah thought it was unfair to tease him for his glasses. The wiry framed, round, golden things were definitely not his choice. Cairo had chosen them and promptly forced him to take them to the front counter. Considering she was paying for his glasses as she broke the last ones, she had decided that gave her authority to decide what suited him and what didn't. She had decided that the golden rims suited him perfectly. "It makes your brown-reddy waves shine, Zachariah," she had smiled brightly in the Optometrist, "And it makes your eyes look nice. It brings out the yellow in them." Zachariah had tried to put them back when she said that. He didn't like the yellow in his eyes. He had decided when he was young that he looked like a cat with his golden eyes. Cairo had once announced that he had not only cat eyes, but their feline grace as well. He had stopped comparing himself to a cat after that. "My name-" "We get it, Zachariah." All heads whipped to stare at Koda, standing in his doorway. Zachariah's boxers hung off her hips, and one of Damaris' shirts floated around her frame. Her waves were a mess in the morning light, but her green eyes shone steady. Zachariah did not like that his boxers were being shown to the occupants of the loft. He believed that boxers were quite a personal thing. He believed he deserved that privacy. But so did Koda. He remained silent on the couch. "What are you doing here, K?" Cairo asked. Her voice was not full of sharp edges; it was instead full of jagged cliffs. Exhaustion. Fighting with Koda exhausted Cairo. Always. Zachariah wondered why they bothered fighting so frequently when it drained their bodies and souls. It seemed like a waste of time. Koda, finding the tiredness in Cairo's voice, slowly shrugged. She let her gaze full upon Damaris and Zachariah as she spoke. "I don't know," she admitted, "I fell asleep at Cody's last night and woke up in Zachariah's bed this morning." All eyes turned to Zachariah. He shrugged, and Damaris released a strangled laugh. That was the second person he had made laugh this morning. He wondered what he had done that was so amusing. "We didn't want to leave you alone at Cody's in case something happened," Damaris explained, "So we brought you back here, decided it would be domestic abuse to make you sleep on a couch as uncomfortable as ours, and set you up in Zach's room." "Zachariah," Zachariah corrected. "Who changed my clothes?" Damaris cleared his throat, "Zachariah did." Relief shone through Koda's face, and she glanced at Zachariah with trust in her eyes. "I didn't know you had a tattoo on your stomach," Zachariah said. After a moment, he added, "It's nice." Koda's features softened as she smiled at him, "Thank you, Zachariah." He nodded once. Changing Koda had been a very uncomfortable act. Damaris had announced that changing the unconscious girl was Zachariah's duty before he disappeared into his bedroom, leaving Zachariah alone. His hatred for Damaris had flared yet again, and he fought the urge to pray for the removal of his horrid existence. It had taken a while to wrestle the clothes off Koda without waking her, but eventually he had done it. His hands moved into a rhythm as he worked, steady and fine as he slipped sleeves off arms and boots off feet. Only when he had tucked Koda into bed had he realised that he didn't even remember her bare skin. He didn't remember if her body was pleasantly warm, or if her body was fit. If it was nice to look at. He didn't remember looking at any of her curves. He had only paused to admired the tattoos twirling against her body. That was all he had noticed; ink. Damaris watched Zachariah, amusement and something else in his eyes as he stared. Zachariah wondered why Damaris had left Zachariah to undress Koda. He wished Damaris would stop watching him. "Jesus Christ you boys are so extra," Cairo scolded, turning to the two of them. "Her loft is downstairs. Why couldn't you just have taken her home to Minnie and Benjamin?" Damaris shrugged, smiling a sly smile, "We thought it'd be funnier to see your face this morning." "Well, I'm sure Zach didn't enjoy losing his bed." "My name is Zachariah." A collection of sighs. "So his surfer friends are still in the city, his college friends are at their classes, and his friends from school haven't heard anything from him?" Minnie's voice sounded like fingernails rubbing against couches full of lint. She was apparently grumpy, and had not been delighted when she was awoken and summoned upstairs to their apartment. "Does that mean he's gone alone?" Benjamin asked, sipping from his coffee. He, also, was not a morning person. His dark hair was a mess, and black rimmed glasses sat upon his nose. Zachariah eyed them with a curious envy. Damaris' gaze flicked between Benjamin's black glasses and Zachariah's golden rims. He was hiding a grin. Zachariah fought the urge to sigh. "Who said he's gone?" Koda asked, staring down at the map sitting on top of the steel bench, "Maybe he was taken." "He's 6'1, Koda," Zee reminded gently. She had the weakest bond with Koda as she didn't live in the industrial building with them. Zee had an apartment closer to the city; a half hours drive. Her and Cairo often had sleepovers. Well, not sleepovers. Other things. "And your point is?" Koda snapped, her voice thick with annoyance. Zee flinched slightly, and Cairo took a defensive step towards her girlfriend. Koda's face softened with guilt. Slightly. "He could have been drugged, or knocked out." "Woah, woah, woah," Damaris interrupted, waving his hands. As his large hands shook the air, tension dissipated. He seemed to wrap it up with his fingers and hide it away. Magic. "I don't think he got kidnapped, K," Minnie assured gently, tip toeing on egg shells. "There's no need to panic yet, sweets." Zachariah found it faintly amusing that Minnie thought it appropriate to call Koda 'sweets', considering she was a tigress spirit. A woman warrior. A thriving soul full of jungle life and storms. He thought it appropriate instead that Minnie tremble in the face of Koda, as she was a chief. An old chief of a forgotten empire. Zachariah just wasn't sure which one. Yet. Koda glanced quickly at her small friend before meeting Zachariah's eyes. Her green depths shone with fear and worry. This was easily the most serious he had ever seen his only friend. "What do you think, Zachariah?" she asked, and all heads turned in surprise, "What do you think happened to my brother?" Zachariah felt vaguely uncomfortable, and disdain for Koda momentarily washed over him. He knew what she was doing; she thought him smart, and she wanted him to prove it to her. He would do no such thing. "I think that your brother is impulsive and forgetful. I think he has escaped for a weekend and has forgotten to tell you. I think that there is no need to worry." Lies. All lies. Something had indeed happened to her brother. He just wasn't sure what. Yet. Minnie watched him with admiration in her eyes. Admiration and adoration. His skin prickled uncomfortably under her loving gaze. He hoped that she would recover from her slight crush very soon. Very soon indeed. "See," she breathed, her dark eyes sparking. He no longer found them interesting to look at. He decided he didn't enjoy looking directly at them. "If Zachariah said that there's nothing to worry about, then there's nothing to worry about." Cairo snorted, "If I had a penny for every time Zachariah said something simply because he knew we wanted to hear it, then i would finally be able to afford my share of the rent for this damned loft." Zachariah glanced at her, dismay washing over him yet again. He was not impressed with Cairo's observation. It slid him back into the spotlight. Koda opened her mouth to ask him yet another question, but Damaris interrupted. Zachariah had never been so grateful to hear the sound of his voice. "Koda," he asked, "Have you called the police?" "No," she whispered, despair falling upon her as delicately as a piano, "Something within me says not to." Benjamin sighed into his coffee, "Well then what the hell were you expecting, Koda?" "You to support me, maybe," she snapped, and he startled away from her tone, holding his hands up to show innocence. His coffee was still in one of his palms. Zachariah faintly hoped it spilt. "We are going to help you, Koda," Damaris reminded softly, throwing a scolding glance Zachariah's way. He blinked as it hit him. What had he done wrong? He had done simply what was expected of him; he sat silently and listened. As he always did. He didn't see what was wrong now. "Damaris is right," Minnie said, her voice gentle and loving. "What do you want us to do?" Koda closed her eyes for a moment, calming her racing thoughts. Zachariah watched them falter in her brain. He watched her entire being calm slightly. "I think we should go to his apartment one more time." "You know, Minnie," Benjamin's voice vibrated through the walls beside Zachariah's head. "You really are not subtle at all." "Excuse me?" Minnie squeaked, confused. These walls were certainly thin. "You like him," Benjamin announced. Zachariah paused. Damaris, in the other corner of the room, paused too. He was beside the same wall, a few metres in front of Zachariah. He had bent to inspect the papers on Cody's desk. Zachariah had paused in front of a book shelf to admire Cody's fascinating collection. "Who?" Minnie asked, her voice an octave higher. Zachariah hadn't known it could go an octave higher. He had thought it was at it's peak. "Don't you 'who' me, Missy." Silence settled. Zachariah, not too interested in their conversation, continued to browse the spines of books. He felt Damaris' gaze on him. He ignored it, as always. "Well, what do you want me to say?" Minnie's voice suddenly burst out from the wall in front of him. She sounded exasperated, as if she had been holding her breath and was finally expelling deep gulps. "Yes, I like him, Benjamin. Happy?" Benjamin's deep laugh echoed through the wall. Zachariah nearly took a step away from it. He did not like Benjamin's voice. Unlike Damaris, Zachariah disliked both Benjamin and the sound of his voice. Zachariah realised that two of his least favourite people were in a room together. Alone. He wondered how much trouble he would get in for setting a room of Cody's apartment on fire. Possibly an amount that would still make the sacrifice worth it. "Why would that make me happy, Minnie?" "What do you mean? Why wouldn't it?" Benjamin's hollow laugh echoed again, and this time Zachariah did take a step back. Damaris watched him, his gaze heavy. "You have feelings for Zachariah, Minnie." "And?" "And Zachariah is the most apathetic and empty person I have ever met! Have you ever seen him smile? He's like a hollow shell-" "Don't talk about him like that, Benjamin!" Minnie snapped, her voice all hell. "I'm serious, Minnie! He feels no emotions. He is an empty shell of a human being. He has no personality, no life, no gods damned soul-" "Benjamin!" Their voices were clear through the wall. Zachariah felt a rock settle within his stomach as he heard their words. He did not want to hear their words very much. Not at all. "Why are you wasting your time on Zachariah, Minnie? You can do so much more!" "I am wasting my time on Zachariah because I like liking him!" She yelled. "I like thinking about whether his hair is a deep red or if its a chocolate brown. I like his eyes! I like the way they shine when he talks to Koda or Damaris!" Damaris stiffened in his corner. "I like the way he frowns when someone calls him Zach. I like the light freckles sprinkled upon his skin! I like that he's tall, and that his body is just right. Slim frame, long legs that always seem graceful. I think he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and I think that others do too. He doesn't look at me twice, I know that, and that's okay. I know who he thinks is the most beautiful, and it's not me," Her voice shook slightly, "That's okay, too." Benjamin sighed, his voice softer this time, "Minnie, you don't see him for who he really is. He is rude, and silent, and downright creepy. He never fucking speaks, and who doesn't like the name Zach?" "Benjamin," Minnie warns, but Benjamin ignores her, his volume growing with his anger. "He doesn't care about any of us, Minnie. He talks to the rest of us only because Damaris and Cairo make him. He is hollow, and empty, and he is probably rotting inside. You've got to understand that he's hardly a real person, Minnie. He doesn't even count as a human-" Benjamin made a strangled noise. A moment later, the wall between them trembled as someone was thrown into it. Zachariah took another step back. His feet were numb. Everything was numb. That rock in his stomach was heavy. So heavy it seemed to hurt. Damaris wasn't standing in his corner anymore. "Take it back, Collin," his growl vibrated through the thin plaster between them as he shoved Benjamin's face into it. "I said fucking take it back now!" "What the fuck are you doing, Wez!" He roared, and another shock went through the wall as something hit it again. "Damaris, stop!" Minnie's high and loud voice rang through the wall. Zachariah winced, a headache was forming in his head. Like thunderclouds rolling. "BOYS!" Koda yelled as she raced down the hall, a blur of dark hair and a green bomber jacket passing by, "STOP!" Zachariah remained frozen; two steps away from the wall. "Benjamin Collin," Damaris' voice, low and rough, sounded like a thousand sharpening blades. There it was, Zachariah thought; the shift. He wondered if the occupants of the room next to Zachariah's were frozen with shock. They had never seen the boy with bleeding hands, only the one with shining smiles. "Take. It. Back." Zachariah wondered if he should still try to burn down the room. No, he thought, there were people in that room he didn't want to die. "Take back what?" Benjamin yelled, choking as Damaris grabbed his throat. Sounds of Koda's struggling shot through the air as she tried to pry Damaris away from Benjamin. Zachariah stared at the wall. He was suddenly exhausted. "What you said about Zachariah," Damaris said. The knives had sharpened. They were pointing at Benjamin. His voice had never sounded so deadly. All sounds of struggling ceased. Silenced settled as Koda stepped away from Damaris' grip on Benjamin. Zachariah could suddenly hear the bomb in Koda's mind, slowly ticking down. Despite Benjamin's foul existence and Zachariah's desire to set him ablaze, he prayed for him. He only had so long before Koda detonated. "What did you say about Zachariah?" she asked quietly, her voice clear and firm. Her rage burned just beneath the surface. Zachariah wondered if it was at hot as Damaris' smouldering eyes. "Nothing," Benjamin choked, "I didn't mean it, you guys know I didn't mean it! I love Zach as much as you do-" "I doubt that," Damaris growled. "I'm just trying to paint an image, okay?" "What?" Koda's voice was a thousand falling rocks. "I needed to paint a gods damned image, okay? Minnie loves him-" "It's not love," she interrupted. "And I couldn't bear it. I'm trying to make her get over him." "And that's relevant to you, how?" Koda asked, the bomb ticking down. "Because I'm in love with her!" He gasped. Silence. A tornado spun through the room, quiet as all hell. Benjamin huffed as if he had been holding his breath his entire life and had finally gotten a taste of air. Everything within him seemed to shatter. "I'm in love with you, Minnie," he whispered, his voice a broken mirror. Discarded and fragmented and completely fucked up. Silence settled as Damaris released Benjamin. He let out a gasp as he slid down the wall. Zachariah's eyes followed his slumped form. He stared at the spot on the wall where he knew Benjamin was. Maybe if he set fire to the wall it would only hurt Benjamin. Heels suddenly clicked as Minnie stormed out of the room, her shaking chest a symphony of sobs and confused hiccups. Zachariah listened to the song that was Minnie's emotions. Zachariah didn't quite like music. Koda followed her out, calling her name. Minnie's crying hurt Zachariah's ears, but Koda's voice didn't. Zachariah continued to stare at the wall. The room beside his was silent. Boots creaked the floorboards as they walked towards the room Zachariah occupied. Zachariah wanted to tell the boots to be careful, that the creaking floorboards might make Cairo and Koda mad at each other again. Zachariah could not bear any more fighting. He thought he'd yell. Zachariah didn't yell. Damaris appeared in the door frame. Zachariah dragged his gaze away from the wall, ignoring the small magnet for the bigger one. His eyes stuck to Damaris. Damaris' light brown hair was a mess and his eyes were smouldering. So Zachariah was right. He knew they would smoulder. Damaris' gaze was heavy upon Zachariah's body. Upon his face, his eyes, his everything. His very soul. Zachariah had been tired a moment before. Now, everything in his body seemed to yawn and sit up straight. No more drooping flowers. "Wow," Damaris breathed, "I totally thought he was gay." The shift had been unsuccessful. Damaris' voice was a mosaic of jagged glass and rays of sunshine. It was both soft wind and the crack of trees as lightning struck them. An angel's flutter and the devil's crack of a whip. Damaris' voice was not only a mix of American and British, but a recipe with both heaven and hell thrown into the mixing bowl. Minnie's voice hurt his ears, but Damaris' soothed them.

unrequited

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duckball · 7 years

Text

#BB19 Let the games begin

Summer has officially started! Tonight is the 2-hour premiere of BB19! Hey, it’s Brandon and I’m back this summer to blog and tweet and bitch about all the happenings in the BB house! I cannot wait to get this season underway! Let’s gooooooooo!

“The most tempting season go Big Brother begins now.” Julie rocking the purple sleeveless dress! She’s as excited as ever.

There tempting offers could turn the house upside down.....

Money, former fan favorite, and possible first night eviction (OH SHIT)

The first one we meet is Christmas. Author, first female NASCAR print crew member, and obvious fitness buff

Jason is a rodeo clown and auctioneer. Aww, his son’s cute. That’s all I have to say about him.

Alex loves playing video games, chess, eating, and preparing for the apocalypse.

Kevin is a stay at home dad with 7 kids who is used to dealing with children so that should help him in the game. Probably not tho.

Dominique is a nuclear engineer from D.C. Religion is a huge part of her life. So important that she has a YT channel all about Jesus. She seems fierce.

Mark is a personal trainer who was raised by his grandparents. Awwww his grandparents are adorable! Almost as adorable as he is.

Elena is a radio personality from TX who is 100% unfiltered. “There’s a really good chance my mouth will get me in trouble.” You think honey?

Ramses is a cosplay artist, or god, in his words. A BB super fan who is the gay guy of the season. A little over the top. Well, a lot over the top.

They are playing it off as if Jason and Dominique will get along which I don’t see.

Elena’s family tells her goodbye by telling her to go get a man. How supportive of them... Who cares about this amazing opportunity she just received go get some dick and bring that home so you can break up in 6 months.

Alex, Mark, Ramses, and Elena are the first 4 to enter the house this season!

Ramses is fan boying in the diary room.

Alex is already looking for clues for the first comp. My first impressions were wrong.

Elena is drooling over Mark, not surprisingly. But Mark is drooling over Christmas. Sorry Elena, trying the next group of bros.

Christmas is hilarious!

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME

Cody is next. A Marine for 4 years, and 6 years in the air force. With an amazing body. And I mean amazing. He’s pretty chill. Aww... he has a little girl! She’s cute!

Raven owns her own dancing studio and an all woman ghost hunting team. Who seems so much more tame than her pre show interview.

Josh is a Puerto Rican business man who is super proud of his heritage and will not stop at the chance to remind us of that and his loud personality.

Megan is a dog walker. When she was 20, she joined the Navy and became a professional interrogator (did not see that twist coming).

Cameron is microbiologist. The nerd of the season who is athletic. According to him, a triple threat. We’ll see about that.

Jessica is a something from LA. A model I think. Looks like it. Apparently she’s a super fan who always watched with her dad who passed away 3 years ago :(

Matt is a...... oh he’s oh.... oh. I heard nothing he said. Sorry. That face, that hair, that body, that everything.

Jillian is a timeshares rep who is talking about how to get timeshares and I couldn’t care less. Her entire family went to Tijuana to get weight loss. No judgement but judging.

Well, Megan hates woman because they’re bitchy. Good luck girl.

Matt, Raven, Jillian, and Cameron head in to meet the first 8 HGs!

Christmas and Matt (YES PLEASE)

Raven and Matt? (NO PLEASE)

The first thing Cody notices is Jessica. As well as Josh. Who will sleep together first because both guys basically already have a hard on.

Ramses, Megan, Alex are hitting it off super well.

#LivesInHisMomsBasement Alex about Cameron HAHAHAHA

None of these people know what cosplay is. Kevin can’t even pronounce it, not surprisingly.

Dominque lies about her job, Megan doesn’t tell them she was an interrogator.

All the girls are drooling over Matt. Which is literally me this entire episode. Ugh I can’t handle him.

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME

“The biggest, wildest, the most tempting summer in the history of the game. The summer of temptation. And it all starts right now!”

Money, safety, and power are all of tonight’s temptations.

They all head out to the back yard for the first temptation. BB Garden of Eden. They are all in pods and are lifted in the air. They have a button and if they press the button, they get 25K. Accept it, and the first twist of the summer will be released into the game. The person who takes the temptation will remain anonymous.

Cameron is not pressing the button. Josh wants to but won’t. Dom says it’s not worth it this early in the game.

KEVIN PRESSED THE BUTTON

TWO consequences. One personal. And one for the entire house. The person who claimed it is not eligible to win the first HOH. They must throw it. The second is...... most likely Paul coming back but we won’t know till later.

Dominique is pissed. She’s out for blood. Get it girl!

Julie says they’re about to be joined by a former fan favorite. I’m shocked! Wow. Cannot believe. Best kept secret. So excited. Yay.

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME

Doorbell rings......... PAUL FROM BB18 ENTERS THE HOUSE (yawn)

PISSED

Cody doesn’t like him and can’t wait to BD him while everyone else is hanging all over him.

Megan, Ramses, Alex, Jillian head upstairs to chat. They all vibe well. Megan says lets just call it a group of people talking strategy, not an alliance. Smart call, Megan. Don’t jump the gun already.

Paul is taking one of the HGs places in the game. It’s called the BB Swap. Lmao

If they want to stay in the game, they must tempt Paul. He goes to the storage to get a box and Julie tells him to open it... There are 9 friendship bracelets. One for him, 8 are for the other 8 HGs OF HIS CHOICE. If they get a bracelet, they will be safe from eviction. They other 8 will be up for eviction.

Jillian has yet to take out her weave. She needs that bracelet! Girl! Me too. I feel ya!

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME

Raven is the first one working Paul hard.

Elena gives him a cheese sandwich. Practice safe snacks, use a condiment. He’s impressed.

Cody is literally sitting there in silence. Most awkward date ever I love it.

Paul is having none of Christmas or Josh.

TIME FOR THE ROSE CEREMONY I mean bracelet reveal

First bracelet goes to.... Kevin ugh

Next.... Raven

Third.... Dominique

Fourth.... Mark

Fifth... Jason

Sixth.... Jessica

Seventh.... Ramses

Eighth... Elena

Cody, Matt, Cameron, Megan, Christmas, Matt, Jillian, Alex are up for eviction and will compete to stay in the house

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME

Tempted by the Fruit is the safety challenge. 3 will be on the chopping block and up for eviction at the end of this comp.

They have to hang on to a trapeze. The last one standing will be safe from eviction. When they fall, they have to pick an apple. Some are good, some are bad. The 3 bad ones will land you on the block. Julie will reveal clues throughout the comp as to which apples are the good apples so it’s best to stay on longer.

Jillian falls first...

Megan falls next...

Josh falls next because they got another clue and he thinks he can get a safe apple. Bro.

Cameron jumps down next

Christmas falls down

Matt, Cody, and Alex are left hanging

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME

Matt falls down after an hour and 12 minutes

Cody and Alex will guarantee their safety

Alex falls after an hour and 25 minutes

Cody is SAFE

Alex is SAFE

Matt is SAFE

Christmas is UP FOR EVICTION

Cameron is UP FOR EVICTION

Josh is SAFE

Megan is SAFE

Jillian is UP FOR EVICTION

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME

The three noms are tempted by how they want their fate to be determined. Either by letting the house vote or take fate into their own hands and battle in a comp for safety. SHIT THIS IS GETTING INTENSE

Jillian wants the VOTE

Cameron wants the COMP

Christmas wants the VOTE

There will be a vote

Jason wants Christmas out. Cody isn’t impressed with Jillian. Cameron uses a striptease on Jessica and Elena but they seem unimpressed. A hairy butt isn’t the way to Elena’s heart. Now we know.

Cameron is the first one to cry in the DR! I made the best first draft pick ever. Go me.

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME

It’s time for the first eviction of the season...

Paul will only vote in the event of a tie

Jessica evicts....

Josh....

Okay well they aren’t showing who everyone is voting out.

I guess the votes are in now....

Christmas is safe with only 2 votes to evict

8 to 3... Cameron is evicted and has been Jodi’d/Glenn’d

This is legit sad. This kid is a fan and it was his dream and he lasted only 12 hours while a vet takes his place. It sucks. I don’t like it at all.

BB is back tomorrow night for the crowning of the first HOH and Sunday will the reveal of the next twist.....

We get to choose one HG to enter the Den of Temptation. Once they get to go in, they cannot enter it again. They’ll be tempted with the Pendant of Protection. The person that gets this will get safety for the next three weeks. But of course it comes with some kind of consequence...

Well..... that was A LOT. I’m still trying to process everything because there was so much happening tonight. Overall, it was entertaining. Very intense premiere episode and one of the better premieres in a while. Hate the fact a vet is back. Hate the fact that it’s Paul. Hate the fact that he took the spot of a newbie. But I think it’s going to be a fun season if tonight is any indication. Let me know your thoughts on the premiere! Comment below or tweet us @DuckballBB.

Thanks for following along tonight! You’ll get to chat with the rest of the DB team as the season goes on. I’ll be tweeting all season @oubrandon14 about the episodes AND the live feeds! Follow me and tweet me your thoughts! Until next time.....

#BB19 #Big Brother #Big Brother 19 #cbs #julie chen #HOH #season premiere

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