#and can you see how for people who aren't trans but have an 'its complicated' with the broad 'what's in your pants?' would ALSO be hurt? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

genderfluid-culture-iss · 3 months

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for the baby genderfluid tips!!

this could just be me lmao, but DO NOT donate your fem clothes if you feel masc for longer than usual. or vice versa.

keeping a gender journal is something that can be really helpful to actually look back on and see how it changes (and also have proof of fluidity for when you begin to think "hmm actually im just a trans girl. nothing else." no, you probably aren't. you felt completely boy/nonbinary/etc just a month ago, and thats okay.)

basically it can be really hard to embrace that your gender is not static, especially if your gender stays stable for a slightly longer period. it took me so long to stop rotating between "im a girl always" "no, im a boy always" "actually, im nonbinary always" to just admit im genderfluid.

also, make genderfluid content. you don't have to show it to anyone, but sometimes it can really help to make poetry or art or write a story about being fluid and your experience in particular. i have an easy avenue for this since i write fanfiction (haven't published any of it yet lmao) and i just hit my favorite characters with my genderfluid beam and go nuts

follow people who are genderfluid, read genderfluid books, maybe join a genderfluid discord server (there are barely any, so actually maybe make one), try to make genderfluid friends. you are not alone, even though it sometimes feels that way.

if you have plushies or anything similar, make them genderfluid. i have a genderfluid squishmallow who i use she/they pronouns for, and a little husky that switches between he/she. idk it just helps sometimes lol

some of us change gender daily, or multiple times a day. some of us change gender only a couple times a year, or even less. we're all different and that's fine.

tips for presentation:

if you have a day when you can't figure out gender, go neutral clothing-wise

take little things to ease dysphoria if you switch when you're out somewhere (ex. lipgloss, eyeliner, leather bracelet, etc)

if you can, get pronoun pins. seriously, get pronoun pins (or a colored bracelet for subtlety or if you're not out). you can wear multiple at a time, you can switch them whenever you need to. you aren't a burden if your pronouns change. you don't have to stick to they/them to be easy for people.

if you can, get a versatile hairstyle that you can make suit your gender no matter what. if you cant, try to get a hairstyle that makes you the least dysphoric overall.

if you are organized enough, separate your clothes based on gender/what you feel comfy wearing on different days. do not pressure yourself to fit stereotypes. some people can only feel comfortable in skirts when theyre boys, so they only wear skirts on boy days. do what works for you.

it's kinda complicated, but if you can expand your vocal range to sound more fem or masc depending on how you feel, it can help. alternatively, vocal train to make it more androgynous.

keep makeup wipes with you in case you need to take it off part way through being out. basically, make it as easy as possible to be able to change/tweak your presentation if necessary.

this could just be me, but having lots of hoodies in different colors and styles will save your life

sometimes you might have "blender days", which is what i call it when your gender feels like its in a blender in a bad way and you can't tell at all what it is, everything feels wrong, it's changing like every 10 minutes, etc. tbh on these days all i can do is put on sweats and a hoodie and feel dysphoric. listen to music if it helps. do a hobby.

non-clothing items can help a lot. a blue tshirt and jeans can be whatever you want it to be based on what you wear it with. (ex. sneakers/ballet flats, leather bracelet/sparkly necklace, baseball cap/eyeliner)

and lastly: YOU ARE AMAZING. keep being you, keep being incredible, and know that being genderfluid is a gift. be proud to be who you are, have fun, know that you are unique and special and wonderful!! we're ever-changing, and that's awesome. you are precious. i love you.

🩷🤍💜🖤💙

dont wanna link my tumblr, but my name is kiley if you want to attach a name to this!

Okay this is a lot more than I was expecting LMAO /pos

Thank you so much for this Kiley <33 I’ll start working on a masterpost with links to all this.

#genderfluid #genderfluid culture is #genderfluid culture #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtq+#anon #anonymous #Genderfluid tips #Baby genderfluid tips #Genderfluid help

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what-do-bunyips-look-like · 10 months

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This crab day thing has gotten so frustrating so fast. The person who suggested it is an anti-abortion anti-feminist right wing christian transphobe. Many of the people spreading additional posts and info are ALSO anti-abortion right wing christian transphobes. Seriously. Start clicking their blogs when you see these posts. Search "abortion" and "feminism" and "trans" and "gender" and "groomer." This is really easy to confirm. But people don't give a shit because "crabs fun." okay.

And its not like people aren't aware of it at this point. Search "crab day" on tumblr and a good chunk of the results are asks saying "hey btw crab day was started by a transphobe/right wing christian." and most of those people have responded with something along the lines of "Um okay but like its a good idea though??? You guys can't even collaborate with conservatives for like a second to achieve a political goal? UGH this is why nothing ever gets done 🙄." or "Um okay but like that post had nothing to do with their political beliefs. so like its fine lol. Crab fun." Or "oh no omg im so sorry thats so gross i deleted the post but im still gonna keep reblogging all the other posts by the conservative transphobic anti abortion right wing christians whos blogs i wont check because we need to save tumblr!!!!"

Let me make this really fucking clear for those who don't get it: it doesn't matter if the post is not about their political beliefs. You and all your mutuals are reblogging them. You are making it easier for them to network and find each other. You are bringing them new followers, a bigger audience, a bigger platform and a bigger pool of people who will spread their oh so relatable non-political posts. Which will bring in more followers. And some of those new followers are going to be young dumbasses who are going to see all their posts about "groomers" and "mutilation" and the evils of porn and the horrors of abortion and how feminism actually harms women and do i need to tell you how that story ends?

You are showing that "crab fun" is way more important to you than the safety of trans tumblr users. You are giving them a bigger platform and a wider net with which to potentially harm trans people. By saying that you're not going to let their political beliefs ruin your fun, you're making it very clear that trans people are less important than your fun. And you're making it VERY fucking clear that you'd RATHER tumblr become a safe and welcoming place for anti-feminist anti-abortion right wing transphobes than give up fun crab.

You are showing that your need to throw money at a corporation is more important to you than trans tumblr users. I get where you are coming from. I do. You want tumblr to keep existing. I want tumblr to keep existing. I also want the other trans people who use this fucking platform to keep existing because frankly, they are the only reason i'm here. and if they aren't safe here and if you will throw us away just to keep tumblr shambling along a little longer then I have no fucking interest in tumblr.

"Okay but we need to save tumblr uwu!!!!" Look I'm just some dumbass and I don't know shit (and to be PERFECTLY honest, so are you), but I think this is a little more complicated than "if we raise enough money we can save the school/family farm/community centre/(insert cozy heartwarming thing that needs to be saved)!" As other smarter people have said, tumblr is operating at a yearly $30 million deficit. Thats $30 million just to break even. For one year. not become profitable. Its not a bail them out once and its all good forever situation. Tumblr is not a small message board run by volunteers who actually use donations to stay afloat. They are not a non-profit. They are not running a pledge drive. Throwing money at a corporation does not a nonprofit make. It makes you a consumer.

Your response to "tumblr making bad changes" is "give them money for making the bad changes to show that we don't like bad changes!! A reverse boycott'll show 'em!!" You sure about that??? (And some of you are calling this """""unionizing?"""" Put that word back on the shelf.) You don't know what you're doing and you're not listening to the smarter people who have tried to explain it to you. And once again, you're showing that this half baked scheme is more important to you than trans tumblr users. because crab fun.

And @everyone whos clambering over each other to "collaborate with conservatives for a good cause," we already fucking know that you love to do this shit. You are the same people who will say "yeah but theres bad people on both sides!!!" and who wont give up your Harry Potter or your Chick-Fil-A. You will throw us under the bus the SECOND it gets you something you want. Even something as stupid and small as pickle brine or a shitty videogame or fucking "crab day." And guess what. The second all your "shared goals" are accomplished and the conservatives get what they want FROM YOU??? You're going straight under that bus too.

And also, isn't it maybe a little hmmmm. SUSPICIOUS that CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIANS want to throw money at the site that we've been bitching and screaming at for how unfairly it censors any display of queer sexuality????? They don't have the same problems with tumblr that you do. You think that collaborating with THEM is gonna stop that? Gonna get the porn ban reversed? Gonna turn tumblr into a co-op? Gonna "unionize this bitch?" Hello????

If you must. MUST participate in this because crab oh so fun and tumblr is oh so in need of saving then for the LOVE of FUCK make your OWN POST and STOP PLATFORMING THESE PEOPLE. i don't want to hear "Oh but its a good idea it doesn't matter if a bad person came up with it separate art from the artist lol" if you're not MAKING AN ACTUAL EFFORT TO EXCLUDE THEM FROM THIS. BLOCK THEM. CHECK THEIR BLOGS. BLACKLIST THEIR URLS. ITS EASY.

and then maybe go give your $3 to an actual non-profit. or to an actual leftist independent organization. Or wikipedia. Or inaturalist. Or to one of the many hyperspecific message boards out there who are struggling along on donations from like 5 people. Or maybe, maybe, give your fucking $3 to an abortion fund or to a trans person's go fund me so they can buy food. Or to a womens shelter or a fucking homeless person or to any of the other people who anti-abotion anti-feminist right wing christian transphobes want to stop existing.

My partner is afraid to leave the house alone because people with these exact same political beliefs are in power. People are getting their HRT ripped away from them because people with these exact same political beliefs are in power. People are being forced to give birth because people with these exact same political beliefs are in power. Every day I'm ready to get the news that the state my partner is in is no longer safe and we have to figure out an escape plan. These people do REAL HARM in the REAL WORLD and their beliefs are, tbh, way more fucking insidious and mainstream and tolerated than those of TERFs.

But fun crabs are more important. okay.

#I have almost no followers here like 3 people will see this but i can't not say anything #prob gonna lose a few beloved mutuals over this screed tbh well so it goes #I'm sorry this is so aggressive i realize that some people still dont know but im VERY frustrated by the response here #I'm pinning this post and everyone who clicks on my blog to look at a cute bug has to see it #being trans on tumblr is infuriating #being trans in THE WORLD is infuriating #crab day #the crabbening #july 29 #crab week #save tumblr #anti crab day #etc etc etc #DO YOU REALIZE HOW FUCKING DISAPPOINTING IT IS TO SEE ALL THESE TAGS AND SEE HOW BIG THIS THIS HAS GOTTEN AND STILL NOONE GIVES A SHIT

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genderkoolaid · 1 year

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I recently listened to the Jules Gill-Peterson episode of Gender Reveal. In it, she argues that the histories of transmasc and transfem people are essentially disconnected until the 80s or so, in part because transmascs migrated to rural areas and went stealth, whereas transfems moved to cities like New York and San Francisco and formed communities. (This brief summary does not do her justice, please read the transcript or listen before responding.) What do you think of her argument? Do you have any historical records that confirm, refute, or complicate it?

So generally I agree with her. Obviously this is specifically about US history, but I agree that transmascs historically have sought isolation to stay stealth where transfems have formed a lot of communities (although thats not to say there havent also been stealth transfems in history). She does bring up transmasculinity in lesbian spaces although its very brief. I kind of wish she focused on it more because I feel like acting as though trans men who lived in stealth isolation from other queers is The transmasc historical narrative erases a lot of the complex ways transmascs lived, and lesbian spaces have always been a MAJOR part of that. Drag masculinity was one way historical transmascs could engage in transmasculinity, and also took place largely in cities & drag kings absolutely interacted with drag queens, so I don't think there wasn't any places where historical transmascs & transfems shared spaces. But she's also a transfem and it makes sense that her focus is more on transfem history & its intricacies.

Honestly I think that the idea that transmascs going stealth vs transfems finding community isn't the interesting thing here. That's whatever. What's more interesting in my opinion is the questions of

Chicken or the egg (ha): do transmascs go stealth instead of forming communities because there were no communities and therefore no awareness that others existed, or was there no community because everyone went stealth?

What is the origin of this difference between transmascs and transfems? What factors influence the difference in our histories?

Listening to modern non-western transmascs talk, I've gotten the idea that part of this comes from how women in patriarchal societies have more restrictions, and often aren't allowed to go out on their own, which limits their ability to find queer spaces and connect with other transmascs. I think there might also be something to be said about the idea that cis society may tend to react to transfems with "you should be cast out" and transmascs as "you should be fixed", but that's just an idea + it's definitely not black-and-white.

Going back to the first question, I'm inclined to believe that they lack of community/awareness came first: I think part of the reason for so many trans men going stealth is because many of them weren't aware other trans men existed, so they had a mindset of "I have to find a way to survive without being outed", whereas transfems knew other transfems existed and so their first step was "find other people like me". I imagine that's also the reason for the difference between stealth trans men and lesbian trans men: maybe people who weren't aware of lesbian spaces were more likely to go stealth, and people who were aware of lesbian spaces joined them for the same reason transfems sought out other transfems. See this quote from a Korean trans man:

"[T]here is nobody that we can really call “older generation.” In Korea FTM identification and transition only began when they learned that such a thing was possible. Before they felt like they didn’t belong in their bodies. The lack of words made it impossible for them to understand what that feeling meant. FTM trans people that are older than me, those in their 40-60s, understood their situation late. Most of them had lived their lives as lesbians until the 1990s. When the Internet started providing information, only after this began, they understood who they were and started treatment."

That's also why the transmasc community only really started after transmascs started getting widespread attention (coinciding with the rise of the Internet as well), because suddenly younger transmascs weren't either becoming butches or going stealth- they knew others existed and wanted to find them. (As a side note: I got the idea for a historical fiction story exploring the idea of some kind of "transmasc secret society", because I'm sure there was some point in history where at least a few guys found each other).

I think its important to ask these questions lest we fall into the trap of "transmascs just love their male privilege and want to preserve it and have never done anything for the trans community, unlike transfems, who are the real trans people". That ignores how transandrophobia has shaped the behavior of transmascs.

I do have another criticism: maybe she's doing this on purpose, but I feel like its extremely oversimplifying the history of how people treated crossdressing women to say that it was seen as just a cool thing. There was definitely a different attitude to the idea of women crossdressing for survival, but (and this might be kind of nit-picky but its something that gets on my nerves so humor me):

If you weren't crossdressing for survival, that was a problem. I am of the opinion that a good amount of women/"women" who would make this argument when they got caught crossdressing were doing so because "'I'm doing it to survive!" would probably get you some sympathy, but "I'm doing this cause I like it!" would get you. you know. jailed for crossdressing & labeled an invert. And there is an expectation there that, if you no longer need to do that to survive, you would stop doing it, and to insist on continuing to do that would, again, get you labeled an invert.

I just in general really really dislike hearing people say "well the patriarchy wants everyone to be a man" because No It Does Not. its similar to that post that goes "bi women are told they should be lesbians and lesbians are told they should be bi but the actual goal is for there to be no queer women at all". Cis women might be told they would be worth more if they were men, but thats another case of generalized "man" being used to erase cisness. Cis women need to be cis women (and therefore wives & mothers), thats why women/"women" are so heavily controlled. You may have cases of "father wanted a boy so he makes his daughter live as a son" but that has always been seen as abnormal or even cruel. The idea of invert women and women who crossdress as man because of their ~evil sinful desires~ is not new (One scientist estimated "that one woman in every 3,000 is the victim of this strange mania")

I think crossdressing women historically were reported on with a sense of awe partially because I think a lot of people didn't realize how easy it is to pass and so the idea of a man being secretly a woman, or vice versa, was something unbelievable (a lot of old news articles about these people I've read spent a lot of time focusing on how no one could tell and being shocked at them voting & marrying women). Also because a lot of them were only outed in death so there wasn't a living person to confront or arrest. But I think we should hesitate to take news reports that saw them as some interesting headline to mean "people thought they were cool and treated them well" (especially in situations where we only have stuff like headlines & we may not know exactly how people felt about the person). Looking through my hoard of historical trans men resources, you have stories like Augustus Baudouin, a 17 year old who was outed after being put in prison for robbery. After being placed in the women's ward, his "repugnance to appear in women's attire" was so great that he hung himself. Even if the headline called him "extraordinary", being outed ended with him dead (in a way that grimly mirrors transmasc suicide deaths today). Christine Vensettie was also arrested so he could be forced to get "treatment" for his crossdressing. Edward De Lacy Evans's story shows a bit of what "treatment" can mean (namely, medical abuse & sexual assault) and was literally put in a freak show.

This isn't to say that the violence and repulsion Western society has long held towards transfems isn't bad or anything, just that I feel like portraying the history of society's reaction to female crossdressers like this ignores a lot of complexity. Also "the patriarchy wants women to be men" is like the #1 TERF belief when it comes to trans men, so I'm always on edge whenever anyone says it or something like it because it contributes to the belief that society really is trying to influence young girls to transition. I think people, when talking about passing trans men, always focus a lot on what happens when we pass and talk far less about the consequences when we don't.

Anyways this got much longer than I initially planned lmao. In general I agree with her, she obviously knows a lot and I'm also sure this was just a snippet of her beliefs on this topic. In my opinion one of the big questions about transmasculinity to work through is that of our history, because its so easy to compare it to transfems and see how little there is in comparison. And I think, besides just wanting to know more about our history, its important to investigate this to understand more about how transandrophobia works. Erasure is one of the biggest parts of transandrophobia and exploring why our existence has been erased in the past, and how that erasure has impacted our lives, will help us fight erasure today and in the future. So I hope to see more people going past just "transmascs tended to go stealth" and examine the factors which influenced this & why, across the world, transmascs tend to be erased and isolated while transfems tend to have communities and specific terms.

#m.#ask box #transmasc history #suicide tw

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degenderates · 9 months

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transphobia specifically directed at trans men and transmasculine people is not transmisandry. it's not transandrophobia. there is specific oppression that trans men face, but it's not because we're men or masculine, as those two words imply. it's just fucking misogyny. "young girls are being brainwashed/groomed into being trans" = misogyny. "trans men with mental illnesses can't really know if they're trans or not" = assumes people they see as girls can't make their own decisions = infantilization of women = misogyny. "transmascs over-masculinize themselves to fit in" = demonizes gender transgression of anyone assigned female at birth = misogyny. "what if they decide to detransition and can't have children?/testosterone can cause infertility/testosterone can cause irreversible changes" = sees people with uteruses as vessels for babies and the patriarchy = misogyny.

internet trans discourse is stupid and i just want to shake people by the shoulders and scream that both sides of the "transandrophobia" debate are so fucking reductive. all of the above rhetoric is alive and well and the cause of a shit ton of anti-trans legislation, sentiment, and violence both nationally (US) and internationally, and i'm tired of people who aren't transmasculine acting like trans men automatically have male privilege just because we identify as men now. it doesn't change how cis ppl see us, and even if a guy has been on hormones for awhile, he's still affected by reproductive laws (hmm...correlation in US legislation/rights anyone?), as one example. this of course doesn't mean trans men can't have male privilege, but it's not the universal sticker of "this person is a man and therefore doesn't face x" that cis men have.

personally i am not a fan of the way "transmisogyny" is used as a specifier, because from what i've seen, the oppression that trans women and men (and nonbinary people, especially those who do hormones or surgeries), though different, all stems from misogyny. transphobia itself stems from misogyny. i don't like how "transmisogyny"--and especially its derivatives, tme/tma--imply that trans men somehow face less oppression than trans women. we are all one group and the insistence on dividing us into this ridiculous binary, one that is supposedly, to internet queers, the greatest divide when it comes to types of transphobia, erases factors like race and disability that i think have much more of a sway on how likely it is that a trans person will be a target. you think a black trans man transitioning now means he'll somehow be safer than a white trans woman? really????

before y'all turn this into the pancake waffle thing, i'm not saying the word transmisogyny is bad or that we shouldn't talk about the intersectionality of being trans and a woman. but the way the trans community, and by extension, the cis queer community, talks about it as if trans women are the only ones that are women, seen as women, feel connected to womanhood, adjacent to womanhood, and face all the misogyny related to those things is frankly one of the stupidest progressions of queer theory i've ever seen. intersectionality of gender identity, transness, and sexuality is so complicated, fluid, and personal in a way that a gender/sexuality intersection with race, disability, or class is not. while there are threads of connection between all of these things, the two "types" of gendered oppression, misogyny and transphobia, are so closely tied together and smushed together within the meaning of gender that efforts to put clear-cut terms and frameworks of intersectionality within that little shaken-up cocktail is going to be fruitless.

and y'alls insistence on doing so, trying to dumb everything down into rules that don't always apply and definitely don't match up with the way the actual world treats trans people, drives me fucking crazy.

#i've avoided making this post because i find transmasc discourse fucking annoying #but that's also why i'm making this post.#transphobia #transmisogyny #transandrophobia #misogyny #intersectionality #josiah speaks

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davekat-sucks · 3 months

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Related to that anon who didn’t like trans Vriska, I’m okay with trans Vriska, even if I don’t share that headcanon, but its existence in pesterquest perplexes me.

I feel like it’s another case of projecting human customs on an alien race because how does gender even work for trolls? I can understand gender dysphoria and not feeling like you belong in your body, and troll sexual dimorphism exists… exclusively at the breasts. Female trolls have boobs and nipples, male trolls are flat chested.

So I guess Vriska’s ideal dreamself/ post transition body’s one difference is chest bumps.

This only is in matters of Vriska’s personal physical transition, another thing is social customs. Alternian gender roles are nonexistent. The nuclear family or any form of human household doesn’t exist, they’re bug-children raised by animals that dragged them out of a cave that they had to compete for survival in immediately after hatching.

All male and female trolls are soldiers when they reach 9 sweeps, the only difference in their job is how they cull their opponents.

So Vriska, being a troll, wouldn’t have to do anything to change her social behavior to be more accepted as her transitioned gender, respect only comes to her from her aggression and blood caste.

And Vriska has a complicated relationship where she feels bad for killing Tavros and feels empty even for all the customs of Alternian culture she follows (not feeling comfortable following societal norms or roles is a very trans thing) while also worshipping her ancestor and exerting her independent will, especially on others to maintain her position of power in the status quo (which is a very uh, politically Conservative thing)

Third is her ancestor. Vriska wanting to be her ideal “girl self” by looking up to mindfang seems like a really cool angle to do a trans story! Being uncomfortable with yourself and told down about who you are but you have this role model you want to be so badly and “wouldn’t it be cool if I was a girl” or something or other.

But the thing is mindfang is Vriska’s ancestor who is almost 100% genetically identical to Vriska. There are a few minor distinctions between Vriska and Aranea, but being a different sex would not be a minor generic difference, it’s a whole chromosome apart.

So either both Vriska and Aranea are cis women or both trans women who in each of their timelines looked up to their ancestor and transitioned to look more like them. If anyone headcanons the latter go ahead but I think I vibe more with the former.

Overall trans Vriska doesn’t work for me because people are imposing a human identity onto a bug person. Being transgender as a troll doesn’t work the way a trans human does. Mostly I can see trans Vriska being for a power fantasy of a confident cocky trans girl who knows who she is and is proud of it. Sure she kills people and manipulates her friends, but as many Briska apologists have said before: “she didn’t choose to be that way, she was forced to be a murdering psychopath by an empire of murdering psychopaths. Also she’s a minor.”

Mostly people pick and choose the parts of Vriska that are cool and punk over the manipulative and self-destructive parts of Vriska so trans female Vriska fans can feel empowered and independent.

People projecting onto Vriska, want that same confidence of being a badass bitch and being able to do whatever the fuck she wants. That's why they want the trans label slapped onto her. If a character that represents that has much pride, that means they can motivate themselves too with it. Same applies to any character. They can like the personality, actions, and motives...but if they aren't one-to-one in terms of appearance, for some reason, they can't relate. Like let's say someone looks up to Superman. They like his heroism, personality, lore, etc. But they feel uncomfortable to dress up as him because he is not white or Kryptonian. So instead, they blackwash so then they can get that boost of good feeling about themselves to enjoy the character again. And even if a dark skin character DOES exist within a series, they always get criticized for either A. being a stereotype even when they aren't most of the time or B. they aren't the main main fan fave popular character (ex: Stardust Crusaders has 6 members with one of them being a dark skinned character, but people prefer Jotaro or Kakyoin and would blackwash them instead). They can't realize they can be just like Spanish community that doesn't need Spanish rep and love Goku from Dragonball Z as he is. Light skinned Saiyan and all. That the characters don't have to be EXACTLY the same as the audience. When it comes to headcanons onto bad guys or villains, in this recent times, it's been a double-edged sword because if people slap that label onto some big bad, whether it is from the creator or fanon, they get accused of being something horrible because it is X minority doing a bad thing, so they are either racist/homophobia/etc. And if they don't get that label, they are still accuse of them as that and say that even minority groups can still be bad guys too. Nobody knows what the fuck they want anymore. Too many people play it too safe these days.

#Homestuck #Homestuck fandom #Vriska Serket #fandom #fandoms

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farmerlesbian · 1 year

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where is the line between transmasc/genderweird lesbians and Men with a capital M? i dont think there really is one, but as a lesbian who straddles that line, people are constantly trying to shame me onto one side or the other and its exhausting. i think sometimes the ppl trying to protect our community by keeping men out end up targeting mostly ppl who are in between or overlapping categories and are typically trans, instead of like, Cisguys preying on dykes. its become a real problem in the community just being visibly trans or butch tbh

i don't think it's possible to articulate A Line. i agree with you and don't really have anything to add!

i'll just say what i've said before. it's fuzzy/blurry. the nuances and intricacies of someone's gender through the narrow slice the internet (on anon!) is not enough for a stranger to make any sort of call about! it's something that individuals with non-binary gender experiences gotta use their own discretion about. people should go about these things with a mindset of using their best judgement and engaging in good faith, instead of like, pushing the boundaries of what is "allowed". instead of seeking approval and validation, seek to look inside onesself and determine 'is this for me? is this space for me? do i genuinely feel like i'm intruding and pushing the boundaries or do i feel like i'm being pushed out and unjustly excluded?'. those are different feelings and while i can imagine it's hard to discern sometimes, maybe talking with your irl people you can figure it out. yeah sometimes you gotta ask a clarifying question here and there to the organizers of the space in question -- i certainly do when seeing (nonlesbian) events for "femmes" and stuff like that haha!

i'm sorry that you're dealing with people being shitty to you about straddling the line. i know i see it, people having this like compulsive need to find rules and permission and categories for everything, needing to push people into one box or another in order to make sense of them, to know how to see you and treat you. and it sucks! it sucks even more because the boxes are WRONG! it hurts and they don't get you.

for ME, when i say "no men" i mean people who are men period. no additions no explanations no complications. just a straight up man. a fully binary man, if you will. i do not intend to apply this to people with funky genders. to trans folks straddling lines. i think if someone is genderweird or got somethin funky goin on they aren't a straight up Man capital M with no qualifiers! do you see yourself as a man or not, deep down? (general you, not you anon!) i do apply it to trans men and cis men alike. i see no reason to separate the two as if trans men aren't really men. because there ARE binary trans men. there are binary cis men! there are a LOT of them out there in the world! some of them are even on tumblr! are there ALSO trans men that feel also kinda butch at the same time and like a little dykey? maybe. i dunno any personally so i'm not gonna make harsh calls and big rules and statements. i'd expect people to make their own judgement calls and use their discretion and best judgment! i absolutely do not want to push someone out who feels that it is their community and that they deserve to belong in it. this is why i don't patrol my followers list except for bots (common lately ugh tumblr!) and obvious gross lesbophobes (quite rare).

sorry this got so long. lmao i say i'm not gonna add anything and then next thing i know you have an essay!! sorry!! hope it makes sense. basically i fully agree with you and i'm sorry you are having people shame you and push you. they should not do that and i do not support it and it is not what i think We should be doing as a lesbian community.

#ask farmer lesbian #mod alfalfa #i can't speak for anyone but myself #idk what to tag this as #gender #nonbinary #please tell me if this makes sense or if i'm being confusing #i can ask my woife to summarize if necessary she is a woman of few words #anonymous #'i have nothing to add' *proceeds to write an essay* lmao

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sharpth1ng · 4 months

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I don't know if you remember but I'm the trans guy who asked if there'll be a cis version for the sequel cause he couldn't read the trans version due to some heavy body dysmorphia going on.

Soooo update I finally am able to read the trans version... You probably don't remember but the way you responded helped me a lot to come to terms with the way my body looks right now and that I can still be a man, even like this.

(Tbh for the longest time I thought I was a transphobic woman bc trans characters who hadn't transitioned gave me panic attacks and it's kinda funny in retrospect lol I was just dumb)

And I dunno I just needed you to know that you wrote that beautifully and I'm so relived and happy to be kinda content right now. I haven't felt this good about me... Ever?

And I just read the christmas scene and Stu saw Billy naked for the first time and... And he just wants and loves Billy exactly the way he is and that was so... Healing. (honestly am totally in love with your Stu anyway but this really sealed the deal).

Long story short I have been crying for 30 minutes now. Honestly tears of joy and relief. Thank you!

(I hope you don't mind me telling you this)

Hey dude I definitely remember you! Your ask was important to me, honestly, transmascs like you are some of the people this fic is for. To be clear its for everyone, but the whole reason I wrote two versions was because of my own fluctuating relationship with dysphoria. I understand why you weren't feeling ok to read the trans version, and I'm glad it ended up being a healing experience for you, you have no idea how much it means to me to hear that.

And just as a side note I don't think it dumb you were afraid you were just a transphobic woman. I think it's really easy to internalize transphobia especially when you're still processing your identity. Transphobia is everywhere and it's unquestioned, and in a lot of cases it's more accessible than trans rhetoric that's positive and affirming. I would argue that transphobia has a major presence in a lot of trans communities too honestly, that's what trans-medicalism is.

The reality is our bodies aren't worse than cis bodies, they aren't less attractive. They're just different, but the world acts like it's a fucking tragedy to have to cut your tits off and take hormones, and that's bullshit. I'm a much more attractive trans dude than I was a cis woman. Do I still have a complicated relationship with parts of my body? Yes. Do I still have dysphoria? Yes. But so do cis people.

I wrote the trans version specifically because I wasn't seeing a lot of transmasc representation (in fic or other media) that felt true and affirming to me- not that the other stuff can't be affirming to other transmascs, just I wasn't finding stuff that felt like a positive version of my own experience.

I think theres a tendency to focus on body, dysphoria, and insecurity in trans fiction in a way that isn't untrue, but also which doesn't give me the ability to engage in fun smut the same way I feel cis people get to. Cis people can be insecure about their bodies in lots of ways, I'd argue cis people also experience gender dysphoria (think cis women with small chests, cis men who have breasts or smaller penises, ect.), but it's not nearly as common for sexual depictions of them in fiction to focus on those insecurities, and on navigating the way other people react to their bodies ahead of the actual smut.

The other place I see this happening is with sexual depictions of fat people and disabled people. Our bodies and minds are positioned as barriers in sexual situations, and while realistically we may have things to navigate that cis, thin or able bodied people don't, that doesn't mean those barriers need to be centered in erotica that involves us. Cis, thin, able bodied people have insecurities and sexual hang-ups too, so why do they get to be written as having fun, positive sex without centering those things when we don't? To me it positions transness, fatness, and disability as inherently being a barrier to positive sexuality and I just think that's unrealistic.

I'm rambling but all that is to say, this has been healing to me too. We deserve depictions of ourselves that acknowledge the differences and barriers we do have (like, Billy is still scared about coming out, it's hard for him to do, thats a barrier) without making them the whole experience.

I'm really glad you're feeling better about things, and i'm really, really fucking touched that my writing could be a part of that 🖤

#trans debaser #debaser fanfic #tw dysphoria mention #ask

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csmeanerr · 5 months

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For the love of god don’t post if anon fails but with regards to the creative red stuff I see where they’re coming from with pronouns. As a trans person myself I get verbal abuse daily from my immediate family who use it/its pronouns to degrade me because they think being transgender is “bullshit made up by people online” and just a phase I’m going through. I’ve had psychiatric appointments, medical counseling and therapy, and even had a psychiatric report diagnosing me with gender dysphoria among other mental illnesses to prove this is actually affecting my daily life.

When my psychiatrist talked to my parents about family counseling to help them understand my trans identity, my parents took me away from the psychiatrist for “enabling my delusions”. They throw out my opposite gendered clothing, they constantly raid my room looking for anything I’m hiding, and they make it a point to antagonize me by using the wrong pronouns because “if you’re not going to accept you’re born a girl and are a girl then you don’t deserve to be called anything.” Being referred to as it/its is incredibly dehumanizing and degrading and I don’t care if someone wants to be referred to that way, I don’t have it in me to strip a person of their status as a living being and demean them by addressing them like an inanimate object. It’s so uncomfortable and stressful and it feels awful.

I struggle heavily with nounself/emoji/neopronouns too because of my mental illnesses and learning disabilities since they break sentence structure and don’t flow properly or they have varying pronunciations/uses and it’s difficult to remember how things work. I wouldn’t interact with people either if I can’t address them in a way I can understand because if I mess up it’s going to be the end of my social life since me messing up is going to get me labeled as a bigot or a LGBTphobic jerk when I’m not. There is truth to them being rehashed “attack helicopter” memes too which ARE harmful to the trans community.

You might think your pronouns are easy to understand and not hurting anyone but that’s not true. They are. They’re not guaranteed to be easily understandable to every other person. You’re actually just complicating things more and giving other neurodivergent people an even harder time than they might already be having, which makes the situation and stress worse.

I’m sorry to add to this topic mod but this is a matter that personally affects me every day and it hurts a lot. I have a mental wellness clinic appointment in the new year to find a therapist and my family has already said they’ll call the cops and report my car as stolen if they believe I’m going to the appointment to discuss my trans identity issues or seeking aid with transitioning. The reason they think it’s all fake bullshit is because people claim being trans is a choice and they’ve seen the emoji/nounself/neopronouns and they don’t believe in it. My psychiatric report that I brought home was even shredded and thrown out because it used my preferred name and pronouns and thus was “filled with bullshit”. I know that I’m not the only one negatively affected by these things either.

post related

nope fuck off your issues does not allow you to invalidate other people and misgender them in turn. it/it may be dehumanizing to you but to someone else might be exactly what they want to be called, same as you want your own pronouns acknowledged.

the fact you go on an entire spiel of how much your family thinks you're full of bullshit and then turn around and say other's pronouns are "attack helicopter" memes is a bigoted take. in short it basically reads: my gender identity is valid but yours aren't

and you sure did type out that the only reason you hide these insanely awful takes is solely to keep your social standing and not that you actually give a fuck about changing your perspective because clearly you don't think other neurodivergents might experience themselves differently or deserve to be respected for those choices

every reason you brought up has been an issue for YOU that YOU are then making OTHERS put above their own validation for YOURSELF.

just fuck off. use people's fucking pronouns it's not that fucking hard to not be a complete shithead. the LGTBQA+ umbrella is larger than you think and you don't get to draw a line of what is or isn't under that umbrella. it's for all of us. stop being selfish.

#creativered #succubuns

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gothicprep · 2 years

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another thing related to my gripes about internet reporting from people who aren't all that committed to understanding this stuff: something can be morally repugnant and still mischaracterized. both things can be true, and as a journalist, you have a responsibility to be faithful to the truth, even when it's messy.

reporting on the kiwi farms is a good example of this. i won't deny that this website is purely degenerate – not in the maga way, in the way that normal people off the street would likely find the content there to be immorally cruel. but, as someone who's lurked it heavily over the past 6 odd years, the bulk of it is just extremely mean gossip. and i don't really understand where the "it targets trans people, especially trans poc" thing came from, given that most of the kiwi's lolcows are white, and the prevalence of transgender thread-havers rose relatively proportionally to more people coming out broadly. not all of the threads have dox info, and things get even more complicated when you look into the suicides that are allegedly connected to the forum.

julie terryberry is probably the strongest case you could make for kiwis playing a role in her suicide, given that she was aware of her thread and occasionally monitored it. but julie was already exhibiting a lot of suicidal actions and behaviors before she had a thread made about her. her family was incredibly negligent, she had a history of sexual abuse and was violent towards her peers in high school, she was in an abusive, turbulent relationship with a gambling addict ten years older than her, and she hung herself after it fell apart. i don't think the kiwis gawking at her proclivity to share all of this, publicly, on facebook of all places, helped. but having read through the thread, the bulk of the posts are something to the effect of "she really shouldn't be disclosing all of these gory details about her personal life online" and urging her against doing that. it's tragic beyond words for someone to be dead at 19. but, at least in my opinion, she was in a situation where everyone around her was opposed to intervening in a way that would have made a difference for her. when her grandmother threatened to kick her out, she looked for housing on fetlife of all places. some was really, really wrong from the beginning. if you've listened to the "last days of august" podcast, this interplay likely sounds familiar.

but because the website is down and has been wiped from internet archives, you can't look and see this for yourself, which is a bit concerning in its own right. there's a lot of revisionist history online, and wiping the archive of an alleged "terrorist website" (it's a shitty place, but it was never that) isn't helpful.

harassment is also baked into the infrastructure of the entire internet, which is a fact that people don't seem to want to acknowledge. the "main character of the day" on twitter applies neatly this. twitter doesn't have a lot of user growth, and its model is contingent on the existing base using the service as much as possible. trending topics facilitate incalculable harassment on a scale much larger than the kiwi farms were ever capable of. to me, this is much worse. it's also a problem without an easy solution. should the internet have more of a barrier of entry? should it be less centralized? if so, how would that be accomplished? the reality of all of this is that these questions are very difficult to answer, and a superficial understanding of the digital world doesn't make us more equipped to figure it out. if anything, it just neuters our ability to do so. "get rid of the Website Whom Is Bad, certainly this will solve all our problems."

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lavenderarts · 11 months

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Um.. this isn't supposed to be hate or anything, i just think that you while having the right spirit of support, are like, kind of having a bit of terf retoric yourself..?

I definitly agree that a trans man should not, EVER feel the need to identify as lesbian to be valid. Thats definitly right!! Nobody EVER should be forced to appease the terfs.

But also,

lesbianism should be about love of women, not about the exclusion of men.. THATS the terf retoric..

Sometimes peoples gender identity is more complicated than you think. Sometimes people are men and men adjacent, but identify with labels for their own identity for how they FEEL they are. And i think, it is like, its not nice to try and police labels.

Lesbianism historically has been more inclusive than just "'only-women' who like 'only-women'", it is more mixed then just having NOT-MEN in it, it is only of the recent decade that the discourse of lesbianism has become so esclusive, so vehamently avoidant of anything "man", because of, you guess it, terfs. Terfs are so hateful of men and trans men espcially.. its all messed up, please research it up i can not even come close to saying everything here!

other peopls should identify as they like, even if it makes little sense to others, yes we are all lgbt+ but that doesnt mean specific labels are not important to those who use it! Everyone is indiviual !

Ive been seeing weird lesbian discourse this week and it makes me sad, this is not your fault, but, please be careful, don't fall into your own policing of identities..

Also I apologize for the long ask, I genuinly only want everybody to be more open minded. Thank you for reading ;;;

Y'all hate lesbians so fucking god damn much. You think we're all TERFs and everything we say about our own identity is TERF rhetoric automatically because YOU associate US with those hateful hags. Me saying men aren't lesbians isn't TERF-adjacent because men does not automatically refer to trans women, and if you assume that's what I'm saying it says more about you than about me. Me saying lesbianism excludes men isn't TERF rhetoric, it's fact. Lesbians telling you that our sexuality is the only fucking one in existence where men are not welcome in any way isn't a TERF thing at all. The fact that we have to qualify everything we say about ourselves with "don't worry I'm not talking about trans women :)" because otherwise you think we're TERFs is a you fucking problem, not me. Not all TERFs are lesbians and not all lesbians are TERFs, and saying the completely normal, rational, and correct sentence "Trans men are men and men cannot be lesbians and people who are attracted to men cannot be lesbians" is not hateful or wrong. I don't care how cool you think the word lesbian is, sometimes it doesn't apply to you and you need to get a grip on that, we aren't some secret exclusive club that needs to be opened and made more accommodating. Lesbianism IS about loving women, and it is also the only sexuality that has nothing to do with men in any way, shape, or form, and the rest of you just cannot handle it and are constantly trying to hammer the definition into something that doesn't sound like a dirty word to you because you have some internalized shit you need to work out on your own away from dykes

Genuinely shut the fuck up I am not here to hold your hand and make you feel better because you're sooooo sad that lesbians are talking about issues that affect us. Take your condescending dumb ass elsewhere PLEASE I'm so sowwy I made you feel bad bc I wasn't Nice :((((((

#telling people to kys has to become acceptable again. calling me a fucking terf for saying men arent lesbians is so lesbophobic its unreal #get the fuck off my blog and dont come back

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tokidokifish · 11 months

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using star trek versions of my blorbos to pitch MY post-ds9 series, which would be another station trek taking place in the gamma quadrant, where starfleet would have set up a new deep-space base in order to assist (and oversee) the dominion's integration with the galaxy as a whole. i felt like there are so many interesting dominion races with really fucked stories that would be sooooo interesting to look more deeply into, and there would be a whole new quadrant of species and stories to get into! BEHOLD MY VISION!

also vorta get tails bc they deserve them. :) lemurs. :)

anyhow here's a breakdown of the blorbos in question tho obviously i've talked about most of them before:

commander nehn tanith: first officer and the lucky thirteenth host of an extremely unlucky symbiont that keeps getting its hosts killed at young ages. while the tanith symbiont makes her feel like she's have a constant, low-grade panic attack, nehn herself is a confident, capable young woman who sincerely believes wholeheartedly in the utopian ideals of the federation. obvi we would need a starfleet presence there and nehn, certainly, would be there out of a genuine interest in furthering galactic cooperation, but there would be a lotta good meat for stories about federation personnel who simply aren't ready to just forgive and forget and would never be willing to see changelings as anything other than deceptive.

junpei: dominion representative, who volunteered out of duty and definitely not a lot of potentially sacrilegiously intense feelings he shares with the first of his jem'hadar. i really feel like there's SOOOO much untapped potential with the vorta - the concept of them trying to find their places in the dominion after the war, whether some would start to try and move away and establish independence or if they would double-down on worshiping their gods. junpei is also trans in his original narrative and i think THAT would be interesting to explore from a vorta standpoint. i don't honestly think the founders would care about something as meaningless as solid gender presentation, but i also don't think vorta would be expected to like... consider things like that. they were merely tools, made in a specific way to best serve the founders and disposable beyond that; anything else would be a deviation.

and of course with the vorta come the jem'hadar, and THEM finding potential places to interact with the galaxy as something other than soldiers. curing their dependence on ketracel-white! finding out how long they can ACTUALLY live. jem'hadar deciding to be writers, or artists, or craftsmen. IT WOULD BE SO GOOD.

lieutenant, junior grade?? vannerly ch'vaulk: like odo, vannerly is one of the hundred changelings that were sent out into the galaxy at large. in his case, vennerly ended up on andoria, where he managed to successfully (or mostly - he could never pull off the antenna) assimilate with the native people, and even eventually joined starfleet as a xenobiologist - but no one is really sure where he stands now, since he DID pass all his tests but he was lying the entire time. i'm super interested in the concept of the other hundred changelings - we've met odo, who desperately wanted to return home, and laas, who definitely did NOT, and i imagine a lot of them have similarly complicated feelings about it. in vannerly's case, he spent most of his time just trying to fit in and keep his head down, and then he had the knowledge of the rest of his species crash into his life in the worst way possible, and he would be torn between the temptation to join them and the fear of losing the individuality he's come to desire. also we could do way more weird gender stuff because it's not the 90s and i'm not a coward.

anyhow thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#star trek #ds9 #ds9-adjacent at least #trill #vorta #andorian #(sort of)#changeling #nehn tanith #junpei #vannerly ch'vaulk #i've been working on that picture for days (i know it doesn't look like it)#i'm still not happy but WHATEVER it's DONE

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bi-kisses · 9 months

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I wanted to thank you for the post you just made about detrans people, I really needed to hear that support right now since we don't really get much empathy these days. People just talk about us as statistics and bargaining chips and not really as people, it feels like. I won't pretend to know everything about the detrans/desist circles since I'm still new to it myself but I've experienced enough that so far anytime I see someone talking about detrans it's usually to win arguments or they only talk about misdiagnosed detransitioners, and those of us who were correctly diagnosed and are and always have been sex dysphoric get ignored. I guess we don't really 'fit' anyone's argument well enough for them to want to acknowledge us. It's a really sucky life to live for lack of a more formal wording; the only treatment that's really out there for this dysphoria is transitioning and when it doesn't work, it's a very bleak way to live. I never really understood why some people years into their transitions are still nearly as miserable as before they started or still attempt suicide, but now I do. I don't mean to vent or traumadump too much, for a little context as insight on a personal example: I had an unsuccessful transition. I was transitioned as a minor and now in my 20s I suffer from health complications, mostly regarding my heart and hemoglobin and all that (I've had heart palpitations/irregular heartbeat since I was 19 or 20), and I can no longer continue medically transitioning unless I want to see an early cardiac arrest or death from its worsening. The doctors that gave me transition treatment will not give me detransition treatment nor referrals so I'm on my own now. Not to mention I am stuck looking like a teenage boy and will never be able to look like a fully grown man which causes a lot of dysphoria and pain since the only reason I transitioned was to be a man, not to be a forever teenager. I don't regret the transition's effects of masculinizing me, if anything I wish there were more, but it's been 10 years so there's no more to be gained. At this point if I detransitioned fully I don't think I'd look like a woman either so I'm pretty much stuck suffering no matter what I do or don't do next in terms of continuing or stopping social aspects of my transition. I'm not sure if it's because I was transitioned too young or because I just have shit genes, but this is my situation and it is permanent.

Anyway, I'm sure there are many other detransitioners/desistors out there like me in similar situations. It's our lives, our realities, and it's a lot of suffering to have ignored and not have much support for. Not to mention how it's pretty much impossible to talk to friends and family about for fear of them lashing out that they think you 'betrayed' them or 'lied' or 'made a stupid mistake' so we don't have a lot of safe places to talk about this kind of thing. I even feel like I have to stay on anon to be able to safely talk about this here.

My heart goes out to you, and idk if it's any comfort but I have for sure seen several people in similar situations where they ARE dysphoric and would love to live as the opposite sex but it just isn't viable. Usually it's seen with trans women, as transitioning from male to female is notoriously luck dependent genetically speaking, but health issues have impeded trans guys I've known too.

I can't believe you aren't able to receive medical support for your detransition, that's fucking awful and those doctors should be held accountable for not providing what is, imo, a necessary service to help you live in a comfortable and healthy manor.

I'm not detrans, but I have a pretty fucking irritating health condition that makes my day to day really uncomfortable. I totally understand that helplessness. Doctors have been useless to me so far (I'm on, like, my third different specialist just hoping this one figures out what's wrong). Sometimes all we can do is figure out what works so that each day is worth getting through, even if we can't live in an ideal way.

Lots of love for you and I hope things get better soon. Feel free to reach out anytime.

#anonymous #kisstalks

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genderkoolaid · 6 months

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That's the problem though, nonbinary identities are always seen as "academic" and not casual. Cis people love to say that we're too complicated and only academics understand us, trying to turn nonbinary identity into a classist thing, when nonbinary people need to be included in casual things too. Saying "nonbinary inclusion is only important in academics and not casual stuff" is the real classism here because it keeps people from understanding us. And you do that too, by saying "transfems don't experience higher rates of violence" but only bringing up transmasc as a counterpoint, ignoring all other trans and nonbinary people. We exist outside of adademics, and to say that non-binary inclusion doesn't really matter outside of that is exorsexist and actively plays into the narrative that nonbinary inclusion is hard or impossible. like other queer people get to exist and be recognised in casual too but non binaries are confined to university

Waist why are nonBinary less casual than transmasc or transfem? Exist as casual and lower class as trans mascs and femmes. Are you really saying nonbinary inclusion is more important in colleges than in casual social media like... you don't need a degree to not be exorsexist. sincerely an agender who never seen a college from the inside. Sad seeing you get more more exorsexist.

These asks were all sent very close to one another, so I'm responding to them all as if they were one ask.

I never said that nonbinary identities are "academic" or "less casual." Also, I rarely ever see anyone use "academic" to describe nonbinary people- maybe in relation to queer theory, but honestly? It feels like you are stretching here to try and conflate me saying "I don't feel like its worth getting angry about binary language in people's casual Tumblr posts that aren't meant to be in-depth analyses of gender" with "nonbinary people are too complicated" by acting like I was talking about nonbinary people in academia?

When did I say nonbinary inclusion is more important in colleges than social media? Where did I say that sentence?

If you are referencing that recent reblog of the baeddel-txt post, that was specifically in reference to anti-transmasc violence, which is why I only brought up anti-transmasc violence. But additionally, It is frankly quite hard to find good studies focusing on abinary experiences transphobia. Very often, nonbinary people are just grouped into "transmasc" and "transfem," and other times nonbinary people are separated in data by AGAB. I have never seen a study or paper focused exclusively on exorsexism. This sucks! I know it sucks, because a lot of my life has been negatively affected by exorsexism and its very frustrating how little in-depth discussion there is of exorsexism. But honestly when it comes to data around the violence experienced by trans people, the conversation is binary because so much of the data is binary. And, to a certain extent, a lot of nonbinary people's experiences are colored by the binary; exorsexist violence is very real, but a lot of nonbinary people's experiences are anti-transfemininity or anti-transmasculinity or both, even if their experiences can also be different than binary people's generally are with those forms of violence. It is important to be inclusive of nonbinary identities in the discussion of transphobias but frankly there's a lot more nuance when it comes to nonbinary people and transphobic violence, not to mention how a lot of exorsexism (like attacking a person for not being obviously male or female) is seen as synonymous with "general" transphobia, so it gets discussed without being named as exorsexism or misandrogyny.

Anyways. Idk. I think maybe you are reaching a bit with your interpretations of what I'm saying. I said it in that other ask but online communities are pure communication, so language-as-activism is the most obvious and easiest thing to focus on. But I am in fact a nonbinary person who Does Things In Real Life that you do not see. If you are really getting this hanged up on me not caring that much about the language people use in Tumblr posts maybe like. get some perspective?

#m.#ask box

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mieowkoid09 · 11 months

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Take my Ramblings on how I think relationships work between the Lustrous because 2/3 of my personality is made up of these gems' dynamics

So before I get into the main meat of what I think, I should probably talk about the families. first of all. I think that the families can have romantic relations between each other. Insert booing and rocks being thrown. Okay wait! let me explain myself before ya'll start abusing your rocks you heathens. basically, this is gonna get into territory that i'm not fully equipped to explain, so you know how the "Uchihas" from naruto are? they basically inbreed with eachother ya know but they still aren't fully related at all so they can have healthy kids but they still share the same dna, you could even say they share the same "structure"? yeah, thats basically how I think the gem family relationships are. they do share the same structure and name and call themselves family but they don't have to restrict themselves to JUST being siblings, they can be lovers too. they can call themselves "brothers" while being romantically involved. they aren't like us and they don't share the factor that we could produce unhealthy offspring if they are involved with their sibling, since they can't have children nor do they have blood!!(thankfully, since that would be insanely gorey) and I may be wrong but I don't think that the term for "Brother" in japan is only limited to siblings. fact check me if i am in fact wrong please.(Btw i'm not in the naruto fandom at all, I've just watched some theory videos and watched some video essays, also i watched a few episodes of naruto when I was younger)

Now, before I get myself hit with more rocks. time to talk about how I believe the gems' relationships are. mainly the romantic ones since tbr, romantic relations are some of the most complicated things ever and that's probably why we're so drawn to them (sorry romance nonfavorable/romance repulsed aromantics, you will be missed)

I personally think that romance in the lustrous world, is actually incredibly discouraged. these gems can still enter romantic relations but it is incredibly discouraged because, we have seen what happens when these gems lose that person that they love.

They go absolutely crazy. they even break themselves. and this is off topic but now that I think about it, Diamond and Bortz's relationship is like how trans people see other trans people who look more like what they want to look like, at least from what I've heard from some videos on youtube. and ngl, its kinda scary- anyways, back mostly on topic with Rutile. I've recently watched RGU(Revolutionary Girl Utena) and tbh, how Rutile treats Padparadscha kinda reminds of how Utena treats Anthy. Utena practically puts Anthy on a pedestal and wants to help Anthy end her job as the Rose Bride even though, Utena practically knows nothing about Anthy because Utena projects what she thinks is right onto Anthy, although it isn't entirely off, Utena doesn't even try to understand Anthy. JUST LIKE FREAKING RUTILE AND PADPARADSCHA- Rutile and Utena practically lose their identity when they lose Padparadscha and Anthy. just- UGH it's so good. Now time to stop talking about Rutile, and go to our very shiny friend and my Autoromantic/Panromantic/Polyamorous headcanon, being Diamond, since they were the one to bring up the fact that Cinnabar may have Romantic feelings for our beloved Phosphophyllite.

Dang both Ventricosus and Diamond ship CinnaPhos. they can't get a break lol. especially with most of the fandom practically shipping them lmaooo. And this is just a little headcanon but I think Diamond used that "Are you gay?" card on Cinnabar when Cinnabar was rambling about how much they "despise" Phos because that's practically what happens when these gems lose the ones they love. They probably start blaming the ones that got taken before they start blaming themselves because it practically starts becoming a pattern in Yellow's case. omg now I can imagine Yellow just talking about their romances with their former partners lol. and now that I think about it, Yellow did blame Zircon for being an idiot for trying to save Yellow, more toned down than Cinnabar's rant and how much of an idiot Phos was but still, that stings. and now this has become not just a little headcanon and more of a parallel it seems. wow, how we can change during writing.

ALSO DID ANYONE ELSE FEEL INCREDIBLY SAD WHEN THE GEMLUNARIAN THING THAT WAS KISSING DIAMOND IN THE PARTY AT THE END ARTBOOK WASN'T ACTUALLY NAMED!?

WE WANNA KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!

Also- possible romance between Aqua and Emerald???

Eh probably. anyways ima end this tangent even tho ima probably gonna get a lot of backlash from the people in this fandom for my controversial opinions but that's fine, hopefully. yeah no i'm probably gonna get murdered.

#houseki no kuni #land of the lustrous #phosphophyllite #phos #宝石の国 #hnk spoilers #houseki spoilers #land of the lustrous spoilers #hnk manga #houseki ramblings #houseki rant #houseki ships #Cinnabar #Diamond houseki

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redheadbigshoes · 6 months

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🌻 here, why is that one anon commenting on an anon'd ask that doesn't even say what people or posts its talking about lol

Yeah it's messed up no matter what to fetishize black folk, do we even see the post? know who is being talked about? have any evidence of anything at all? they seem pretty eager to jump on a trans woman mentioned tangentially through an anon ask...

Anyway I wanted to weigh in on the gender segregated sports with adding that we hear so often from conservatives that big strong scary trans women will win all the womens sports but people don't know I guess that hormone therapy for transfems literally atrophies our muscles lol.

I used to play american football in jr high and high school and I worked out regularly in college and I've lost pretty much all of that strength over the last 5-6 years of taking t-blockers and estrogen. I lose arm wrestling matches with my butch lesbian cousin lol. Trans women on hormones have absolutely no difference to our body capabilities than a cis women. Which doesn't mean they'd be weaker than any given man or anything, given that anybody can still work out enough to build strength to compete in a sport, but my point is we hear about trans women having 'biological' advantages in sports so much cis people forget what the reality is for trans women who compete.

I honestly think it is sexist to segregate sports by gender, given that women can absolutely beat men in anything in the world, I know a cis women that is 2 feet taller than me who could be a basketball star over any man if she wanted to, but that brings up the fact that sports aren't totally fair even within gender segregation, since sports inherently favor people with specific body types. So if you wanted to be truly egalitarian you would segregate sports by weight classes, or something like that.

But you are right that in any co-ed sports in our current society there will always be misogyny, its the reason why we have a seperate chess league is because one of the sports with no body favoritism which anyone can pick up and learn and practice and plenty of women become amazing at chess, they are still systemically repressed from being able to compete and practice like their men peers do. They face increased scrutiny and barriers that men dont, which is why trans women competing in women's sports is important for us in this current setting. Women can compete in any sport that men can, but misogyny is prevalent in every sports space, as well as transmisogyny, so a trans woman barred from women's leagues has basically no fair and safe space to compete and enjoy a sport.

-🌻

It’s complicated whenever minorities are involved because the other anon (the one who made that comment about the first anon’s ask) didn’t have the context about the situation nor the specific post the person was talking about, so it really seems that they got defensive about it because it’s probably a sensitive topic for them.

Meanwhile, like you said, they were eager to jump on a trans woman without even knowing exactly what they were talking about.

About the gender segregation: people don’t even take 2 seconds to look up how there’s a general rule that trans women who compete in the women category (when it comes to sports) need to be on hormone blocks (idk if that’s the right term) for at least a year before competing from what I know.

Yeah like I said on the reblog: what’s most stopping from segregating everything into gender categories (not only sports) is misogyny. I think if we want to stop dividing things into gender categories the first thing to do is to think how it will be able to do that without women being negatively affected.

#stephanie answers #🌻 anon #long post

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