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dwarfman403-blog · 4 months

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I think I may be trying to limit my human experience by numbing it with weed and alcohol

#alcohol #tw alcohol #alcohlism #addiction #numbing the pain #afraid of change #afraid of the unexpected #afraid of moving forward with uncertainty #that is my greatest fear #and being hidden in the tags #broken up like this #no one will ever find #it #and learn my greatest weakness #I won’t #move forward until I know #100%

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months

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Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)

#poorly drawn mdzs #better drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Woah...it's been a whole *year* since I took the leap and uploaded my 'first attempt' art.#It's outdated now but it holds a special place in my heart for the fact it started all of this off.#Calling this 'poorly-drawn' was always about accepting that my art was going to be imperfect and messy - and doing it anyways!#There has been a staggering number of times I have drawn something I almost didn't upload because I didn't think it was 'good enough'#only for someone to say they liked it - or that it made them laugh. And it has helped me realize -#-The worst critic for my work has always been myself. If I listened to it all the time...well we would not be here now B'*)#And now that I have dabbled in other fandoms I can truly see how lucky was to start out with the MXTX fans.#The supportive messages and tags have truly been a guiding force toward my artistic and self improvement.#I really can't describe how grateful I am.#Thank you for seeing something worth rooting for when I was just figuring things out.#Thank you for being sweeter than the candy I have strategically hidden in the nooks and crannies of this house.#But watch out! If you forget to find them we will get ants.#I remembered to not hide chocolate in the bed this year. Yes I know it melted last time. Yes it did stain. I'm still sorry.#Thank you for loving me regardless <3 Even if it looked like I shit the bed real bad.

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cherrirui-official · 23 days

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"You know... You didn't have to take that with you."

"But I promised him I'd take him out to see the ocean one day."

#for context uhmm how do i explain this #so around a few weeks after Jd arrives Bruce is like “Hey... where are the others?”#and Jd is like “ooooh 🤪🤪 he doesnt know...”#Since at this time JD believes that the entire tribe is dead. including his brothers and grandma #so Jd has to take Bruce to the now abandoned troll tree and give him the bad news #Bruce doesnt believe it at first. even if the tree is abandoned they cant be dead? right?? they cant be #so he rushes over to their grandma's pod. thinking that theyre just in hiding and waiting for them to return #and all Bruce is able to find in the empty pod is Branch's old stuffed toy Croco #which solidifies to Bruce that everyone is dead. their friends their family. everyone #Bruce is obviously devastated by the news. he doesnt show it a lot but he doesnt take it too well #he ends up bringing Croco with him back to Vacay Island and patches Croco up #since Croco is a bit worn out due to being left in the pod for years #and since then Bruce always keeps Croco hidden in his hair. both as a memoir of his baby brother #and also a reminder of how he failed as an older brother... ouch #ofc the others arent dead. its just that now both Jd AND Bruce believe that the rest of the trolls are dead #also King Trollex is there bc i wanted to put him there. I like Trollex :]#a knee ways more bb au art i promise the next bb au art will be lighthearted #tho now im gonna work on the next violet gijinka batch bc ive been starving my friendlocke audience for too long #sorry friendlocke fans ill feed u next dw #cherris canvas #trolls #trolls band together #trolls john dory #john dory trolls #trolls bruce #bruce trolls #king trollex #beach bros au #sorry for rambling in the tags i hope u dont mind ahaha

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 5 months

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yeah so i'm falling for @weevmo's Guys... they're so neat! i dig their vibes and can't wait to see what Corduroy Stew is all about <3

#fuckkkkk theyre so SHAPED!!!#i can feel myself getting So attached #if anything happens to them... i will simultaneously wail and cheer #nimrod is so cute. nimmy. the nimster. id love to toss birdseed on the ground for him to peck at. pigeon coded tiny man #lulu being a sock puppet trainer THATS SUCH A NEAT IDEA ARE YOU KIDDING IM OBSESSED #now im curious as to if sock puppets are like Animals or if they're as sapient as the others...#but yes im already looking directly at lulu she seems Fun as fuck #oughhhhh and wb. listen. Listen. im a sucker for handsome Head Empty characters and he seems like one of those #i also like characters with many hidden internal problems and wb seems like one of those too <3 #i hear that the three of them are siblings and that is Such catnip to me...#scribble garnish #dont know what else to tag this as! huh!#BUT YEAH THIS ALL SEEMS NEAT THEYRE COOL i Will be following this project to see where it goes #so far it has great characters a sprinkling of Intrigue bomb art (which. ofc it does its weevmo cmon guys)#and a neat song that i sweAR TO FUCK REMINDS ME OF SOMETHING. THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME FOR DAYS #the jingle is just vaguely familiar enough to make me Writhe in the agony of Unknown Knowns #but yes! i hope you all go check out weevmo's blog if you havent already! Good Stuff All Around!!

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svampira · 5 months

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oc lore drop👆📢‼️

text under thee cut

elias (died 19 cur 21)

lives in his middle aged best friend's basement. his job is onlyfans. kills people for fun but not food. id smash

social media star murdered an embraced by his obsessive stalker > his sire was executed by diamila on the prince's orders for turning him without permission. doesn't have any memories of his human life

occasionally acts as a camarilla "enforcer" despite being a chronic masquerade breaker himself. Somehow maxed out his presence powers just weeks after his undeath

diamila (died 26 currently 45) the middle aged best friend. Also canon fledgling > spent the last 20 years playing attack dog for the camarilla and doesn't feel like she has anything to show for it

ventrue, maxed out dominate, very high firearm skills. Has never killed anyone to feed. def did it for other reasons though

Cressida (died 65. currently 65, looks like she's in her 40s because she was a ghoul) clan tremere's newest embrace, she had been picked by her sire 20 years before her death. She was already a ghoul during the events of vtmb, and has known and disliked diamila for over a decade. Ambitious but fiercely loyal to her clan, she ends up butting heads with the equally ambitious but much less trustworthy ventrue

brooklyn (died 21 currently 40) an unpredictable vampire whose allegiances change every couple weeks. kept around because of her frequent (although cryptic) visions and her coming across as relatively saner than the average malkavian. emphasis on coming across.

eden (died 24 current 43) an anarch malk who pretends hes a brujah. has the same sire as brooklyn and they were dating before they were turned. Hackerman. Doesn't experience visions of the future and barely seems to be afflicted by the clan curse. or does he > his curse is his portrait came out kind of bad here

#forcing everyone to look at my ocs. as usual #this is so funny it looks like trad art #god i messed eden up but its ok. brooklyn drew the portraits she wanted to f w him #putting this in the tags so everyone knows theres a hidden plot behind the toreador pin ups #vtm #vtmb #vampire the masquerade #plot as in the og game's fledglings (basically everyone who was turned in LA while caine was there) being op👍#elias and cressida's sires were the toreador and tremere pcs. the other clans are tbdesigned #/elias #/diamila #/eden #/brooklyn #/cressida

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biblically-accurate-dca · 1 month

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these are all kind of Bad but this was the best of the bunch so i am posting it :p

i've been trying to draw vanessa more... she is so important to me... sun is here too i guess

#my art #probably wont tag this until later i dont want this in the tags #im mainly posting this because i absolutely need to talk abt something its been bothering me for awhile #im gonna censor this stuff (i REALLY dont want this in the tags) so just bear with me #why doesnt the 🌞&🌜 fandom talk abt v/nessa more. why do we not do that #their entire character is meant to parallel her #there's like a million tiny parallels for them in the games. they were both teased in the hw1 dlc and are both associated with that #🐰 & 🌜's animations (and even their designs) have several similarities to each other #there's a lot of cutscenes and parts of sb where one shows up after the other does.. 🐰 going to the daycare after greggy leaves #🌜 dragging feddy away to parts and service and v/nessa immediately showing up there #the entire 6am ending sequence ???#literally like the only reason v/nessa isnt more popular is bc like 90% of her character is hidden in unused content #and because 🌞&🌜 are the skinny handsome mysterious and tragic tumblr sexymen #and when they become so isolated from their source all of their parallels to her are used to instead repackage her character into a more #appealing design for everyone to fawn over and consume #.. im being dramatic but AuUGGHTHHF IT BOTHERS ME SO MUCH PLEAAAE3 pleaseee please i love her.#its so hard being in the 'i want to kiss this robot' fandom when you dont actually want to kiss the robot #i just think theyre an interesting character 😭 and also my adhd brain obsesses over them endlessly so im just stuck here HFJSJGJD #anyway these tags got way too long dont read these. im going to bed now

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thedemonofcat · 3 months

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Hanahaki Disease.

When Jaskier was young, he was cursed. That’s would he had been told. Any form of unrequited love would cause him to cough up Flower Petal. Not only that, eventually, the curse would be over, and Jaskier would turn into trees and flowers.

So Jaskier had been told not to fall in love. Which was a lot harder said than done. As Jaskier found himself falling in Love with everyone. It was never too bad. Only a few flowers.

Then came Geralt. Jaskier fell in love, and he fell in love fast and hard with the Witcher. Sometimes, it only felt like falling with Geralt.

Of course, Geralt did seem to return his feelings, and so the petals kept coming up. But Jaskier hid them; he could die happy if it were with Geralt.

Geralt left him on the mountain, but the petals didn’t stop.

Sometime Later, Jaskier found himself again with Geralt, this time in Kear Morhen with the Ciri, Yennefer and the rest of Geralt’s family. Now, Jaskier knew he didn’t belong; if he did, the petals would have stopped. But at least Geralt was trying to be nicer to him.

One morning, Jaskier awoke to find bark on his legs, and he knew his end was coming

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bidokja · 11 months

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I was joking a while back that the actor they have playing KDJ for the orv movie was too handsome for him and a friend who's read orv was like "KDJ is actually secretly attractive!!" And I just felt my soul leave my body right then

SIGHS...

Okay. Buckle in. I'm gonna finally actually address and explain and theorize about this whole...thing.

I'm not gonna cite any exact chapters cause it's like 11:30 and I've got an 8 hour drive in the morning but I'll at least make an approximate reference to where certain things are mentioned. Also, this post is just my personal interpretation for a good bit of it, but it's an interpretation I feel very solid about, so do with that what you will. Moving on to the meat of things:

There is one (1) instance in the web novel that I know of which describes specific features of Kim Dokja (especially ones other people notice). This takes place when members of KimCom are trying to make Kim Dokja presentable to give his speech at the Industrial Complex (after it's been plopped down on Earth). This is when they start really paying attention and focusing on Kim Dokja's appearance since they're putting makeup on him; I still don't think they can interpret his whole face, but they can accurately pick out and retain more features than usual. If I remember correctly they reference him having long eyelashes, smooth skin, and soft hair. These features can be viewed as (stereotypically) attractive.

Certain parts of the fandom have taken this scene and run with it at a very surface level, without realizing (or without acknowledging at the very least) that this scene is not about how Kim Dokja looks. This is, in part, due to not realizing or acknowledging why Kim Dokja's face is "censored" in the first place, and what that censoring actually means. I think it's also possible that some people are assuming the censorship works like a physical phenomena rather than an altered perception.

I'll address that last point first. The censorship of Kim Dokja's features is not something as simple as a physical phenomena. It's not a bar or scribble or mosaic over his face. If that were true it'd be very obvious to anyone looking at him that his face is hidden. But his face is not hidden to people. They can look at him and see a face. If they concentrate on his eyes, they can see where he's looking. They know when he's frowning or grinning. They see a face loud and clear. But what face are they seeing? Because it's not really his, whatever they're seeing.

No one quite agrees on what he really looks like. And if they try and think about what he looks like, they can't recall. Or if they do, it's vague, or different each time. We notice these little details throughout the series. Basically, Kim Dokja's face is cognitively obscured. Something - likely the Fourth Wall, though I can't recall if this is ever stated outright - is interfering with everyone's ability to perceive him properly. This culminated in him feeling off to others; and since they don't even realize this is happening, they surmise that he is "ugly."

Moving on to the other point about what the censorship means: To be blunt, the censorship of his face is an allegory for his disconnect from the "story" (aka: real life, and the real people at his side). The lifting - however slight - of this censorship represents him becoming more and more a part of the "story" (aka: less disconnected from the life he is living and the people at his side). The censorship's existence and lifting can represent other things - like dissociation or depersonalization or, if you want to get really meta, the fact that he is all of our faces at once - but that's how I'd sum up the main premise of it. (The Fourth Wall is a larger part of the dissociation allegory, but that's for another post).

So you see, them noticing his individual features isn't about the features. It's not about the features! It doesn't matter at all which features got listed. Because they could describe any features whatsoever and it would not change the entire point of the scene. Because the point isn't what he looks like. The point is that they can truly and clearly see these features. For the first time. They are seeing parts of him for the first time. Re-read that sentence multiple times, literally and metaphorically. What does it mean to see someone as they are?

This is an extremely significant turning point dressed up as a dress-up scene.

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P.S. / Additionally, I'm of the opinion that Kim Dokja is not handsome, and he is not ugly. He is not pretty, and he is not ghastly. Not attractive, nor unattractive. Kim Dokja isn't any of these things. More importantly, Kim Dokja can't be any of these things. The entire point of Kim Dokja is that you cannot pick him out of a crowd; he is the crowd. He's a reader. He's the reader. Why does he need to be handsome? Why must he be pretty? Why is him being attractive necessary or relevant? He doesn't, he doesn't, it's not. He is someone deeply deeply loved and irreplaceable to those around him, and someone who cannot even begin to recognize or accept that unless it's through a love letter masquerading as a story he can read. He is the crowd, a reader, the reader. He's you, he's me. He's every single one of us.

#orv #orv analysis #orv meta #orv spoilers #mine #ask #there's also the meta that he is described with these (stereotypically) pretty features as they are about to try and 'sell' him to a crowd #which feels to me like a very pointed way to convey how 'beauty' is commodified. how audiences like 'attractive' characters more #note: made some edits to add in a couple of sentences my brain forgot in the moment so make sure u reblogged those if u do #tag edits for further commentary that isnt strictly relevant to the point i was making:#do i think that this face censorship was executed as well as it could have been? nah.#not that it was like. done Badly. it's followed through to a certain point. its established enough for me to make this post at least.#but i do think it is the one thing in the web novel that SS didn't capitalize on.#like. they still stuck the landing but it was not as picture perfect of an execution as the rest of the metaphorical stuff in orv #also. this (not the face censorship specifically but the 'hes just some guy' point of it all) is one of the big reasons i think that-#-visual adaptions of orv can never quite work. they can do the best that they can with that medium but a lot of nuance is lost-#-simply by virtue of it being a visual medium #i personally think the only way a visual medium could work would be one where they commit to the power move of not showing kdj's face #(until a certain point (of view) that is)#his face is always facing away or out of frame or hidden by someone or something else in the way #commit to the fucking allegory or simply perish

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greenmantle · 8 months

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gemstones save the day!

#this is the dumbest thing i've done in a while. hope all of you are happy #the righteous gemstones #trg #trgedit #mine #jesse gemstone #judy gemstone #kelvin gemstone #i'm still mad about my other gifset not being in the tag btw. if this is also hidden i'm blowing up the world with my mind.

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spiritofjustice · 2 months

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i know Nahyuta's whole thing is he's extremely calm and well-put together but i want this dude to be constantly under the threat of disintegrating. he definitely is calm and put together SURE and that is a core element of him no matter what (and i like that about him!) but i also like the idea of, once he no longer has to be that perfect person to survive, that the reality of everything, all his anxieties n guilt n discomfort with himself comes crashing in when it's finally safe for him to feel this way. a miserable kind of catharsis, but a catharsis nonetheless. a necessary one for him to unravel the real version of himself he had to keep deep inside. do you understand my vision

#psy's no punctuation posts #aa tag #nahyuta sahdmadhi #which i know also that him being so reserved and chill about. Fucking Everything IS arguably a defense mechanism for him like #canonically #but idk they really don't let him have strong emotions Ever in the story. he never gets that catharsis and it kinda sucks #i wouldn't call him unstable in the slightest just. slowly unpacking the world's best hidden set of negative emotions RKFJ #and it's very hard but he'll get there eventually. the revolution was a good start for him to 'redeem' himself inside but that's not so eas #there's still a lot for him to unlearn from the previous regime n how Garan treated him and how he treated /himself/#idk man i just fucking love Nahyuta KRJF #let him GRIEVE let him be MESSY let himself be those things and not a perfect little pet for a despot #i just. waaaa. this dude

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trishyeves · 22 days

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Having Jasnah Kholin thoughts

Specifically, like, if the way Trish is reading the implications of her childhood "lunacy" is correct, that her family forcefully institutionalized her as a child, and what impact that had on her

She plays her cards so close to her chest, she doesn't trust easily, yet she loves fiercely

Based on her narration, her takeaway from the trauma (or, more likely, a takeaway from the trauma) was that the people she loved could still hurt her, even withour meaning it

How much of this was Gavilar, and how much was Navani? Did this have reverberations through the family to Renarin, the other neurospicy Kholin who likes to keep secrets?

Trish doesn't know, just... big feelings

#stormlight archive #jasnah kholin #renarin kholin #a lot of the feelings are rapped up with #like real world people being institutionalized #both like from reading a lot in disability spaces about it #and hearing the personal stories of those who have gone through it #really do hope it's gonna go in that direction #also uhhhh hidden in the tags hit take #jasnah is autistic and that's specifically why she was put away #she's just better at masking now

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kinnbig · 7 months

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I just think Big should have been allowed a knife. or two. as a treat.

#waaaaaah i'm posting a drawing! not even hidden under a read more! i am very very scared about it please be niceys to me #i spent a lotttt of time fucking about with this (also backgrounds my worstie backgrounds) but. yeah. okay. i'm posting it.#i'm being soooo brave #look at him ! my boy !#he's shirtless by popular demand btw. thank u wizard council.#sorry i ignored the vote for long hair big. i tried but it didn't work out :(#but i compromised by taking creative liberties with how long his canon hair is fdjhdj #(also nobody @ me for watermarking this okay i've had enough of my bad gifs stolen to be Fearful for even my Objectively Not Good art)#anyway. i am going to throw this into the void and then hide about it. i'm shy.#my drawings #learning to draw tag #darcey.txt #kinnporsche fanart #big kinnporsche #big kp #kinnporsche #fanart #nodt nutthasid

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luck-of-the-drawings · 1 year

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THAT WOUND. THAT VILE WOUND. it throbs in time with your speeding heart, and the ache it carries through your veins is oppressive, its hot, it tangles around your jaw and through your spine and behind your eyes. there are needles, sprouting from the lacerations like the most heinous ivy, and it strangles your lungs, rips tears from your eyes, lures bile to your throat. it hurts. oh god it hurts. you cant think, you cant breathe, you cant swallow, you cant see. you cant see. you cant see. you cannot see but you know when your eyes are closed, because there are colors stained upon the backs of your eyelids. they form images of loved ones, of viscera, of bile and blood and blackened mud. its jarring, they make anxiety spike outwards, frantic ferro fluid, frightened from faces too scared, too pained, too dead, too piercing with eyes staring straight at you, straight at you. actually, you cant tell when your eyes are open.

SAUCE FREE VERSION UNDER THE CUT.