#OKAY OKAy i think im done ramblin for now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

6of575 · 7 days

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my goal is to try and make at least a post a day on here, even if its nothin very interesting to anybody else

i feel like,,, if i can finally successfully make it a habit to post and engage, it might just trick my brain from task avoidance

so! post done and heres the part for me thats fun:

(under a cut since its ramblin long)

the books im currently reading concurrently are some conlang construct books mr am got me that have been on my wishlist for ages, along with a very cool book about black holes and theories surrounding them, which mr am loaned to me from his collection

one of the things we share is a love of science and space, and more specifically, stars and time travel and all the things about our known universe that black holes straight up break

i have a lot of fun chatting with him; i really cant overstate the value of a friend so genuine, who i am never too much of, and i can talk about all my interests without the reflexive dread creeping on in

all that bullshit i learned growing up, yanno the kind: "im boring, im dumb, who could possibly enjoy swapping rock facts, much less listen to hours of it even when it our interests DONT align"

like, theres so much else about my friendship with him thats meaningful, but thats top tier right there

and lately? ive gotten a few others in my corner, who when i share, im starting to feel like that with them, too

its so weird! to have gone from one person to a tiny community of folks (and i mean little! its like,, five? six? of us max usually) that thrive on a love of the weird and the cringe and the stubborn hope

plenny others have waxed more eloquent than me about this sorta thing--how fandom spaces come sorta pre-fab with common, shared interests that its fans bring, and they build their fort and theres rules already laid out, and it becomes a second (sometimes first) home, of sorts

but when its starting from scratch, when its about stuff and is made by people that others just wouldnt ordinarily invest in or look at without outside prompting, thats not the same! its not a bad thing, more neutral, but its stressful, its really such a lonely feeling

except--when you finally find it, that person, and thats a community of its own, and it can grow, and suddenly you swappin stories, throwing jokes! and memes and links and hey inevitably, theres also those what ifs about your little guys

and everything is srs and sacred and everything is hilarious and "i cant believe this is real life" levels of stupid

you get to learn habits and quirks and whole personalities

"hey this reminded me of you" "hey, check out this view" "oh, thats right, yer the possum dude" "you love medieval lore--and i read this, and what do you think about it, too"

its suddenly kind of a fandom space after all, and its like, still work of course, reaching for and keeping more and being a person with, it aint that neat or pretty

but its got warmth and joy and expansion, after a lifetime of making yourself small enough to try and fit

you end up fans of your friends, fans of their life, hyping each other up and up and up about the most mundane shit and it starts to look like not even the skys the limit

planning things to do together, spending long hours into the night to parallel play with vidgames or watchin movies like time aint nothin thisll last forever, right? (it doesnt, always, but thats also part of this, and the ones that stay, the ones that work with you

those are the ones waking up to backread your chats like its the morning newspaper

and your life matters

like its better than the best hot goss, its saturday morning cartoons and their favour ice cream flavours

only now we adults and its also commiseratin over breakups and bills, and cross-country moves, and its celebrating that i saw chickens in the yard today and you finally got your boygirlthemsomethin gender fuckery juice)

idk idk idk

i feel some kinda way about all that

i never thought id make it so far that im nearly forty

never thought id get to ask "okay, well, now what? what do i wanna do, and try, and be?"

im... starting small i think, and im for reals happy, happier than i have been in years; i learned how to be alla my friends biggest fans, and im starting to finally believe

other people can feel that way about me

i just really think thats kinda neat

#6oftext #hexfold glories: transparent stories

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mynopoly · 5 years

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S’vana: A New Friend

"...'ey G'veena." S'vana called out to the other Demon Hunter that she had accompanied. Other than the sound of crackling flames that came from the campfire, her words were met with silence until it was broken by a deep sigh.

"What?" The other Demon Hunter rasped out, her gaze focused on the campfire in front of her.

Frowning slightly at the sigh, she hugged her knees close. "When...When d'ya think it'll be safe fer' us t' uh...walk 'round without bein' chased?" She asked quietly, already knowing the answer to it. Part of her hoped that G'veena's answer would prove her thoughts wrong. She really hoped it did.

There was a pause before another could be heard amongst the crackling flames. "Never." She bluntly stated.

"...N...Neva'? Are...Are ya' sure 'bout tha'?" She asked, doubting her fellow demon hunter's words. Let her be wrong. For once in her life, let her be wrong. "Wha' if ya' know...They decided t' sto--"

The Kaldorei shoved a piece of firewood into place, interrupting the Blood Elf's words followed by an annoyed grunt. "They won't. I've been doing this for over six thousand years and they still continue to chase after me the second they pick up my trail."

"...F-five thousands year?" Surprised by that number, S'vana frowned even more. "...Wha' if ya' know...they--"

"They won't." G'veena rasped out, sounding a bit irritated at the younger hunter's questions. "The only way to stop a Warden from chasing you is to kill them. Even if you manage to do that, I'm fairly certain that their spirit will chase after you instead, making them more annoying than they already are."

"...Oh. Okay..." Saddened by that answer, S'vana buried her face in her knees and sighed heavily into them. Feeling her anxiety start to well up, her desire to consume sweets grew. It was the only way for her to bring her anxiety down. Slipping her hand into one of the pouches on her belt, her hand grabbed at nothing. Oh yeah...She ran out of candy a couple of days ago. Getting more would be difficult, especially in Outland. Sighing again, she just hugged her knees tight.

G'veena's ears flickered at the other's sighs, her head turning slightly to cast a quick glance towards them. How did this one manage to succeed among all others? She wondered. More importantly, why did a cretin like her decide to become one in the first place? She stared at them for a long moment, contemplating whether or not to ask before taking in a deep breath. "I have a question for you if you care to answer, seeing as how I've answered yours."

"...Mh?" S'vana lifted her head up slightly and turned her head towards G'veena. "Uh...Sure. Ask away."

She stared up at S'vana for a long moment before flat out asking. "Why did someone like you decide to become a Demon Hunter?"

If she still had eyelids, she'd be blinking at the Kaldorei's question. "Oh...I uh...um..."

"Are you a child being called upon during the middle of class? Or are you an adult that knows how to properly speak?" Well, S'vana had a long ways to go to be able to speak 'properly.' Taking into consideration the amount of time that she's known them, it would take a spell or a miracle for that to happen. Neither of them were something that the Kaldorei wanted to put effort into doing.

Frowning at what she assumed to be an insult, S'vana just responded with a slight nod, "I'm an adult..." Taking in a deep breath, she hid her face in her knees again. "...Ya' 'eard 'bout my people's lands gettin' messed up real bad yea'?"

G'veena nodded.

"Well...m' folks...died durin' tha' attack an' I uh...realized a lot of things afta' things started t' settle." She paused for a moment to collect her thoughts before continuing, "...There was nothin' tha' I could've done at all durin' tha'...I was jus' a lass tha' knew 'ow t' fish well an' stuff...Not a lass tha' knew 'ow t' 'old a blade t' protect 'er family." She sighed again, "...So I uh...decided t' go with th' Prince when 'e told everyone tha' 'e'd be goin' with Illidan t' 'elp...ya' know...find a way t' 'elp keep our addiction at bay before it took ova' us."

"And what caused you to believe that you'd be fit to become a Demon Hunter?" G'veena asked, showing mild interest for once in her life. Very mild interest. It was more than what she gave to others.

"...When I arrived at th' temple with anotha' group, I saw all these demon 'unta's talkin' 'bout stuff an' ova'eard some of them talkin' 'bout wha' they did before. Seems like th' general consensus is tha' they wanted t' get back at th' ones tha' messed up their lives. Now th' uh...Legion didn't mess up my life as much. Th' Scourge was responsible fer' all of it. I jus'...wanted t' ya' know...be able t' do somethin'. A way fer' me t' prove t' people tha' I ain't a dumb lass tha' jus' knows 'ow t' catch fish. Tha' an'...I know m' folks were 'appy with whateva' path I decided fer' myself back before our Kingdom got messed up. I thought I'd make them 'appier by doin' somethin' tha'd show t' them tha' I did somethin' fer' th' benefit of all of us even if it messed me up fer' life because of it. I 'ad nothin' t' lose t' be 'onest. I eitha' poke out m' eyes an' eat a demon or...I go back 'ome, return' t' m' ol' life, an' try t' 'elp rebuild. All of tha' while knowin' I 'ad th' chance t' do somethin' uh...different. Sorry if I'm ramblin' too much." She mumbled out.

Admittedly, G'veena's interest in them grew after hearing their story. Slowly sitting up, she leaned forward in her seat and rested one arm atop her knee, her gaze never breaking away from the other. Their words struck a chord in her heart, much more than she ever expected from someone like them. "I see. How did you defeat your demon when you summoned it? Yours is an observer correct? It had to have a vast collection of spells to use against you, yes?"

Hearing the Kaldorei's response, she turned her head back towards them. Realizing that they were sitting up with their full attention focused on her, she stared at them in surprise. Maybe this one doesn't hate her after all...The thought appeared in her mind. "Uh...Yea', 'e's one of th' big floatin' eyeball demons. I call 'im 'Z' cuz uh...it's easier fer' me t' say." An awkward laugh leaves her lips. "As t' 'ow I defeated 'im...Uh, as soon as 'e popped up I made a deal with 'im. If I beat 'im in this game then 'e can 'ave m' body fer' free. If I won though, I get t' eat 'is 'eart."

G'veena stared back at S'vana in faint surprise, "A game? You not only convinced an observer to play a game but you bested them in it? Which game?"

Letting out an embarrassed laugh, S'vana nods. "...Checkas. Tha' game where ya' get like a uh...chess board but instead of chess pieces, ya' use those small discs instead. Th' goal of it is t' get all of yer' opponents pieces or make it impossible fer' them t' continue."

"...Checkers?" G'veena responded flatly in disbelief. Checkers. She had played this a few times before in the past. "You...bested an observer demon in a game of checkers?"

"...Yep." She gave the Kaldorei a sheepish smile. "Did th' easiest trick in th' book. Lured 'im in an' made 'im think tha' 'e was winnin' before takin' almost all of 'is pieces in one move."

Silence fell upon G'veena after S'vana told her how they won against an observer demon. Checkers...Checkers. This girl. This short, lowborn girl that would be kicked out of any Noble party the moment she speaks bested a demon in a game of checkers. A game.

"...G'veena?" She called out to them, slightly anxious about their silence.

"Checkers...A game that does not require much in mental prowess and you were able to best an observer demon, a demon who should arguably have the highest intelligence out of all the demons in the universe."

"Uh...huh." S'vana nodded, shrinking away slightly. Maybe she's about to get yelled at. Oh no...

After a moment, G'veena's shoulder slowly started to shake before she started to let out what sounded like...genuine laughter?

S'vana's eyes went wide at this, her ears flickering rapidly. "G-G'veena? You...You alright?" She asked, worried that she might've broken them. Or maybe they snapped and this is their way of dealing with it.

Laughing still, G'veena gave a slight nod to S'vana's concerns, one hand lifting up to wave it off. Oh Elune, she never thought she'd be able to laugh like this again, let alone do it because of this low--No, this one wasn't a lowborn. At least not to her anymore. There was much more to this one than she expected. Far much more. After her laughter died down, she lets out a relaxed sigh. "...S'vana Skyspear was it?"

Again, S'vana's eyes remained wide, her ears flickering still as she nods. "A-aye...tha's me."

"You have surprised me this night, very much so. For starters, you managed to make me laugh again after several millennia. Genuine laughter too if I might add. Although I did not express my thoughts vocally, I would like to apologize for them regardless. You are not the fool that I believed you to be. You are far from it. In fact, you have far more wit than half of the hunters that I have met." She praised them with a small smile on her lips.

For the most part, S'vana was speechless. G'veena didn't seem to be the sort of person that would laugh or even apologize for that matter. "Uh...Um...T-thank ya'?" She sheepishly replied.

Snorting softly at that, G'veena nods. "Consider this the highest of compliments that you'll ever receive from me."

"Um...Uh...O-okay?" S'vana asked, not wanting to mess this up. She's going to assume that she's on their good side now. "I still don't think I'm uh...as smart as ya' say I am t' be 'onest..."

"That may be true in some respect, but you underestimate yourself." G'veena replied before laying back down on her bedroll.

"O-Okay?" S'vana replied again. She didn't know what to say other than that. She'll just...go to sleep now. She doesn't want to botch this up.

"Skyspear."

"Y-yea?" S'vana sheepishly responded.

"Where do you plan on going after we return to Azeroth?"

"Oh...Uh...I was thinkin' 'ome but...tha' might be a bad idea afta' wha' ya' said t'night." She frowned at that.

"Do you still wish to continue your training?"

S'vana looked over at G'veena. "...Trainin'? Uh...It's not done?"

The Kaldorei snorted. "Of course not. Do you honestly think that a few months is all it takes to become a Demon Hunter?"

"...Uh...Now tha' ya' mention it...Probably not."

"So, do you still wish to continue your training?" G'veena asked again.

Pausing to think, S'vana took in a deep breath and nodded, "Y-yea, I still want t'. I made it this far. Why wouldn’t I?"

"Starting from tomorrow, you must keep up with me until we reach our destination."

"Okay...Wha's our destination?"

"Feralas. One of my many hiding places in Azeroth."

S'vana slowly nods. Isn't that place in Kalimdor? She's never been there before. "Aight...Wha' 'appens afta' we get there?"

"The rest of your training." G'veena responded. "I'll be turning in for the night now. You should do the same."

Again, S'vana nodded. Taking in a deep breath, she laid down on her bedroll with her eyes closed. Before she fell asleep, she spent the night trying to process what had happened. This demon hunter who she met several days ago has decided to train her. Her of all people. She was certain that they hated her considering their previous attitude towards her. After tonight, that didn't seem to be the case. Admittedly, she felt happy that their attitude changed, even more when they offered her a chance to continue what she has learned. Sighing happily at this, she got as comfortable as she could and waited for sleep to take over.

#wow char stuff #cretin demon hunter #She made friends

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chimericarchitect · 6 years

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((Terrible and Saness discuss the recent trouble she’s been having with her guardian and possible solutions to those problems. There are a few trigger warnings for this chat, including head stuff, manipulation, mind control, amnesia, suicide (sorta), and death in general.))

flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 11:23 AM FO: chirp? Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 11:24 AM SP: Sorry, I was distracted by a musical interlude. SP: I was gonna ask "what do you want to know" but you'd probably have a hard time forming specific questions without something to base it on. SP: So, uh, you wanted to know why that strategy was the strategy I've got going. I'm not actually set on it because I don't like it as a plan, but I will probe my options before taking action y'know? Even the ones that suck. SP: Anyway, Anista is a golem or something. SP: And it sucks. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 11:30 AM FO: totally, checking out your options is the smart thing even if some of the options are horrible bullshit. you wont know exactly how bad an idea they are if you dont check FO: i usually bring up the worst idea first when im tryin to solve my own problems, just so i can cross it off the list... FO: that does suck. i could tell there was something going on in her, but ive got no idea whats in there. FO: was she always a golem? Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 11:34 AM SP: I think so. I'm guessing a little bit on that part. Context says probably, because I did a thing and almost got wiped so she got replaced with a Brand New Anista Golem that functioned like she used to, meaning that she's acting like a full person again instead of a zombie. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 11:53 AM FO: uh, yikes FO: you okay there? FO: and who or what replaced her? Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 11:55 AM SP: I'm... uh, yeah. SP: It's just a thing. SP: As for the who/what in charge of replacing her, I'm not quite sure. They're a lot bigger than me, but I'm not willing to say "horrorterror" without evidence. I'm not experienced enough to tell. So, for now, it remains a mystery. SP: If you meant "what is she now" then the answer is "a seemingly normal troll who is constantly keeping tabs on me and probably ready to dropkick my pan at the slightest provocation." flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:01 PM FO: misc eldritch thing #1 it is FO: yikes, thats p shitty FO: if i ever catch you acting different, do you want to give preemptive permission for me to sneak over and try to return you to this state? FO: or like, to come check and make sure any changes are Legit Things You Wanted And Are Fine With Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:03 PM SP: That would be pretty great, if you don't mind. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:04 PM FO: fuckin anytime, dude, ill set myself a timer to peek at your blog once a week. make sure to delete the logs of this convo in case she peeks at your computer FO: okay so, something happened, and she wound down enough that she stopped working. but then something else happened, and now shes back. FO: is she winding down again, or is she going to stay at full capacity? FO: did the thing that put her together like this get distracted and wander off forever, or did it wander off and then come back? Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:10 PM SP: There is no evidence suggesting that she is in a state of decline, presently. She was fine and seemingly normal for the entirety of three sweeps before she turned into the zombie fake-o person. My current hypothesis is that she... wears out? Like a timer, or an old battery or something. SP: The thing that did this obviously isn't hanging out 24/7 or I probably wouldn't be me already. I think Anista-Golem is like a watchdog or something for whatever-the-fuck eldritch doodad the first. SP: A lot of that is gonna be speculation; I don't know much about the big guy. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:14 PM FO: yeeahh...(edited) FO: yeah you need out of there dude FO: and you need out of there in a way that they wont notice FO: so i can see why the death thing is a thing FO: i wish id known about this while you were still seery, then i coulda asked some questions an gotten pokey about a lotta fuckin FO: theres a lotta unknowns here and a lotta things that Could branch how this goes If they are true FO: ... shit is p whack, friend. anythin i can do to help i will Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:18 PM SP: Thanks, Terrible. I really do appreciate it. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:22 PM FO: this one time my life sucked total ass, and someone was nice to me at exactly the right time. and i decided that maybe being nice to people wasnt stupid, and that it was nice that there were people like that around. so i decided to be someone like that. FO: this shit is exactly why. Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:23 PM SP: It's a good attitude, in my opinion. I prefer to help people when I can. SP: Before I go on about my plan to get out of here, there's a bit more to this yet, of the things I know. SP: One of the reasons I trust my death-note-suggestion from the future-past is because, like I said, I almost got wiped. SP: If I hadn't been all godly when it happened, it might've worked. Probably would have. SP: Anyway SP: I was getting erased, or blocked, or something (gross and weird) because I was messing with a mind wall (maybe?) and I got caught. SP: So maybe I need to disconnect from whatever I'm tethered to. SP: It's what I'm guessing, anyway. I'd prefer not to do the dying thing, obviously. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:24 PM FO: B( FO: yeah, obvs. FO: im guessin you respawned once, but also dont remember parts of the anon? FO: is there other stuff that feels not solid? FO: the healer chick would need a small piece a you but hair or blood would probably do it, and she could rez you from a distance on command after that. shed just need to know when Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 12:41 PM SP: Most of the not-solid is from my memories. I don't remember a lot of stuff, it seems. Other stuff has to do with Anista and the generator. SP: Oh wait. SP: The generator. That's an okay idea. In tandem, not separately. SP: I'd need to put Anista out of commission for a bit though. Hm. SP: Can you tell me a little about the healer lady? I trust you, but I've never spoken to her I don't think. Is she a God Tier as well? flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 12:43 PM FO: yeah. shes a meenah, Meenah Peixes FO: long story short she lives in sparks's universe, and she's kinda low key and staying out of the spotlight. does a lotta bakin, some healin for pay. FO: shes kinda mercenary but i think she cares about dudes once they catch her interest, which most dont FO: the universe shes in has legal limes, crimsons, and wings, and no caste system, so theres no problems on the mutant front FO: i could vouch to be there and supervise 100% of the rez process if you trust me enough for that an itd help any Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 1:00 PM SP: I don't know if that will help any, but I appreciate the offer and I'll keep it in mind. SP: I considered whether or not, as a Prince of Mind, you'd be able to bust shit up so I could skip the not-being-alive part, but that seems less likely to work and more likely to get you smooshed by the eldritch fucko. SP: Besides this stuff, I'm trying to convince a pal of mine to go off-world with me before they fuck up and start a sgrub session. SP: None of my timeframes are defined, so it all feels kinda like it has to be done immediately. Am I gonna get wiped? Is my friend gonna blow up this Alternia? I don't know what's happening first. SP: I think I'm rambling now, sorry. SP: More useful thing, practical type. Do you know the charging rates on resurrection? SP: Which is a funny sentence, by the way. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 1:04 PM FO: fightin an eldritch fucko would be a heck of a fight, but its one id give a go. ive done it before, ive pulled that kinda shit outta dudes heads. theres a big variance on how big an individual eldritch fucko happens to be though, so its a thing to take super fuckin seriously before blunderin straight into FO: if anybody could cut a mind connection, id probably be able to though FO: ramblin makes sense, and bein in a hurry makes sense too. why is your friend on the verge of startin a sgrub session? do they like, know not to? -- flippinOptimist began sending file : meenahsfliersarefuckinweird.pdf -- (( a 2-page document, where the first is a classy menu for baked goods with a catering section at the bottom, and the second is a matching menu for healing by injury type with a 'special requests on case by case basis' section at the bottom. It lists reviving as a special request. )) FO: i think she bases it partly on what a dude can scrape together, but idk FO: theres a chance sparks might be willin to help (or meddle) for free, but hes got an M!A rn thats fuckin up his ability to do things Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 1:17 PM [ sanessPsuede downloaded meenahsfliersarefuckinweird.pdf ] SP: Oh hey, great, thanks. SP: I don't know how close she is to starting one, because she's not answering any of my messages. SP: I'll probably have to hunt her down in person. I figure she can't start a game if I get her out of the zone for a bit. SP: Maybe delay the inevitable. SP: Fex is a cool dude. You and he have some stuff in common there. SP: I haven't been able to tell my friend not to yet, obviously. I don't think she took it seriously when I told her about it before. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 1:23 PM FO: good luck delayin it, an talkin your friend outta it FO: sgrub is somethin you can make the best outta, f you get stuck in it, but uh FO: a lot of it sucks real bad Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 1:27 PM SP: It's probably more efficient SP: to see if dying works SP: rather than engaging in a risky conflict unprepared SP: Side note! SP: Thoughts on how to break a mental connection to a thing that is not a person? SP: Like the Anista puppet or a wall. SP: If there's not a mind, can there even be a link? flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 1:41 PM FO: efficient isnt really a good word when somebodys life is on the line, and id still risk it. its more about whats most likely to work i think. FO: i think worrying about whether or not something is a person is more of a soul / heart thing FO: if it has a mind, thats close enough FO: theres plenty of bugs that are too simple for me to be able to get a read on FO: and a couple a computer programs that are almost something enough, that i cant quite reach FO: but i peeked at her and saw that she existed and that there was stuff, if i was careful enough i might be able to unplug somethin FO: i think info processing and the ability to choose between outcomes is the big thing. ideally in some kind of.. complex..ish way, naut just a simple if statement Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 2:07 PM SP: What about a literal wall? Something completely mindless. Could something eldritch-y make a connection to it? flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 2:11 PM FO: never seen one! one way to find out though B) Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 2:22 PM SP: :D SP: Okay, I'm gonna see about getting in touch with Meenah. No point waiting around. SP: It's efficient, and probably more effective. SP: I'm not inclined to gamble with more than my own neck if I can avoid it. SP: Risk to result ratio says dying is the way to live SP: while causing the least amount of harm, probably flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 2:25 PM FO: if youre sure dude FO: for what its worth, if you go into a death knowin its comin and bein okay w knowin youre (probably) comin out the other side, its naut as aaaaaaaaAAAAa as it is when its a surprise and also a big upsetting disruption FO: its still kinda A Fuckin Thing, but FO: its possible to get over it, more n most ways of death comin by Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 2:29 PM SP: Okay, I'm not really sure, but the alternative worries me a lot and putting other people at risk jangles my moral compass pretty hard flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 2:30 PM FO: man, if you ever godtier, you're definitely gonna run into problems w the heroic thing Saness (sanesspsuede) - Today at 2:35 PM SP: Just means I'd be a normal dude with super powers. One life, one death. Seems fair. SP: And sucky. SP: No thank you, Sgrub. flippinOptimist[WIR] - Today at 2:43 PM FO: yeah, p much.

#ooc eyes only #flippinoptimist #plot #//death #//suicide #//mind control #//manipulation #//amnesia #//head stuff #chat log #long post

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vlr · 7 years

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7/21 ramblin’~

I FINISHED-ISH MY FIRST END I THINK?!! i got past the security room with phi but i didnt know the password for the two headed lion computer so it ended there....(i kept trying variations on “memento mori” and couldnt get it hahaha...im assuming ill pick it up in another ending?!) also GOD the chills i got when we first pressed the sun in the lions mouth and the passwords on the steps lit up and this music was playing (I LOVE THIS GAMES MUSIC SO MUCH..this fit the scene so well it felt so so intense like everything was coming to a head)....i reeeeeally really enjoyed the hourglass puzzle i thought i was gonna hate it when i first went into it but i ended up having a great time, faaave....also on that note when phi was like “oh hey its a message from zero” and the screens showed “I WAS YOU WILL BE ME”......WHAAT........who is that for??? also with the “SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING.” i have NO idea who that refers to but im gonna take a WILD guess for now and theorize that ‘she’ was the old woman we saw but then hmm i guess it would be “knew”? so maybe its phi??? also the reveal on that looking up to the screen was SO well done....but YEAH good room. im wonderin why sigma had to lie down for a little bit and stuff started making that weird pulsating noise???? (id have to go back and listen to it again but i was reminded of what plays when youre close to death in super mario galaxy hahaha) and then he was like. seemingly totally okay??? i love???? the gaulems?? that was so creepy and so eerie when they all descended from the ceiling but like omg fuck yeah bring me all the robots... im so glad with these robot-y folks...first k’s cool robotesque armor (i assume theres a person in there since he bled out???) and now G-OLM???? i hope they can get back into the mainframe and are able to contact him again....on that note his little remark about not being to differentiate between robots and humans.... and “right in the middle of--” is someone in our group of nine a robot.....i have no idea who it could possibly be? and especially since this ending was SO bloody and gory augh ;__; im so sad that everyone died, especially when luna died but i guess jokes on me for thinking that allying with her twice would lead to a good end ahaha.....ALSO I NOTICED IMMEDIATELY that the injection gun mark and also the key slot on the back of k’s head looks like the little sun symbol!!!! idk what that means but its sure cool!!!!! could it have something to do w the lion eating the sun..... OH YeAH was the “016″ on clovers leg supposed to be a way of spelling “dIO” backwards....(reminds me of the 11037 in dangan ronpa hahaha) also oh jeeze when we found that key and it DID turn out to be for the back of k’s helmet...i cant wait for if we open that in another timeline?? on that note where the heck did quark go. god all this typing was just for a single part of one branch that i didnt even finish. i love this game its so much and so good

#text post #emma plays vlr #long post / ahaha #vlr spoilers ////

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the-belle-of-the-basement · 5 years

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19:48 sunday april 21st two-thousand-nineteen

it fucking blows my mind that its 2019. like where did all the years go? i dunno. i wasted quite a few there chasing highs.

im at triangle and some weirdo just waved at me cuz im cute. lol im such an asshole

i guess i shouldnt like push people away so much if i want friends? i mean i have friends but like its just like with drugs, i always want more. and just like the drugs, they always run out / leave. god im an emo bitch. im actually a pretty positive person these days. well, i have my moments. my depression is such that i have to try my best to be positive...

d rose d rose d rose d rose d rose d rose d rose d rose

thats right, im into that lil pump garbage lmao

i mean, is it better that im fully aware its garbage? i dunno that probably makes it worse but i dont care haha

anyways

if you cant tell by now basically all of these posts are just gonna be stream of conciousness nonsense but its best that way. thats what this digital space is for. me ramblin on about nothing.

i love you, <redacted>. by the way, thats me im talking about. my name is <redacted>. i really do. youre a bitch sometimes and you have some serious mental illness issues, but you're doing the best you can. at least you put down the meth pipe. thats a huge victory.

god, meth. for those of you kiddies out there that have never done it, dont. its impossible to do it justice (injustice? it is meth after all) in text, but what a fucking hell of a drug. feels like your skin will just peel right off your body, your mind racing, sweat pouring off your body, everything is moving so fast that it feels like its standing still. its a shame that its surely left me with some brain damage. i guess heroin might be more evil than meth? its a toss up honestly.

im so glad i never shot up. if i shot up i dont think id ever think trying to get sober was worth it. well, here's to never finding out.

life after drugs is so different.

but i wouldnt have it any other way / lets just speak in cliche / rhyming to pass time today / girls are cute and im so gay / i wonder how long til my next lay / will i ever be okay, more than just a fucking J

yep, still obsessed with sex and drugs. ah, the life of <redacted>

i have a rule (well im gonna have a rule) where once i press enter and make a new line in these text posts i cant go back and delete anything. so you'll get the authentic experience of my brain.

oops, just pressed enter

oops just did it again lmao that time was a genuine accident. well i guess thats enough for now

until next time, no one

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