#and I knew true ruination

[beneathashadytree]

ALL YOURS - VINSMOKE SANJI X READER

Warnings : making out, implied grinding, implied NSFW, reader is gender-neutral!

Genre : spicy fluff for my love <3

Word count : 1.1K words

Additional notes : Sanji brainrot go brrrr. Love this man infinitely 🫶🏽

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Masterlist

“Mon dieu…”

The breathless whimper that left Sanji would’ve been inaudible, had they not been greedily soaking up every single noise that escaped his kiss-swollen lips. Pulling back just half an inch, they looked at him through their eyelashes, trembling with effort and loaded emotions as they did.

He looked perfectly ravished, with hooded eyes and mussed tresses of blonde hair. The faint dusting of freckles of his was almost invisible underneath the blush on his flaming cheeks. His glossy lips were parted, breathing out heavy puffs of air as his chest heaved with the exertion. It was true that he always made it a point to say just how badly they’d ruined him, but seeing the results of said ruination always had pleasure shooting down their spine.

Maybe he’d gotten a little greedier over time, because now his hands were desperately clinging to the fat of their hips, tugging them even closer to him. “Easy there,” they languidly chuckled against his mouth, a sound he quickly swallowed into another open-mouthed kiss, kneading their soft skin as he did. Their teasing was all for naught, as they both knew that more was what they truly wanted.

Time was a concept lost to them. After all, this had all started when Sanji had called them to the aquarium bar, with the excuse of wanting them to taste-test a new mocktail he’d made while staying up at night. Since it was alcohol-free, they couldn’t really blame their impulsiveness on intoxication. In fact, even the mocktail was mostly untouched on the countertop, long-forgotten.

But really, were either of them surprised? When it came to their little midnight rendezvous, they never knew if it was going to be ten minutes or a few hours lost in each other’s eyes and entwined with each other’s bodies. Sanji was all lithe muscle and sharp edges and rough stubble, but he somehow carried all the world’s softness and warmth in him. It was no wonder they could barely think of anything else when tangled together.

His tongue was warm sliding against theirs, and his chest was solid underneath their palms. The lingering scent of cigarettes, musky perfume, and expensive aftershave chased after him. Every kiss felt like it would consume them whole; burn them alive down to the tips of their fingers and burrow deep into their chest. Every time their mouths met in a searing chase, he’d push up into their core, their back arching a little despite themself.

It took all the mental fortitude and strength they had to pull away with a gasp, earning a groan from Sanji who looked desperate enough to keen. “You’re cruel,” he somehow managed to whine out, “Mon amour, I’ve not yet had my fill of you—“

Pressing a single index finger to his lips was all it took to silence him. Perhaps as a sort of punishment, they even leaned in to nip at his jutted lower lip, teasing his pout. “Just a second,” they promised him, clambering off his lap before he could protest too much. “I promise I have a surprise for you.”

Smothering a laugh behind their hand knowing the disheveled state they’d left him in, clothes all messed up and so clearly aching for them that he couldn’t even bother to adjust himself, they pranced away to their room to get the box they’d hidden in their set of drawers.

It had been a hassle hiding it from any possible interlopers. After all, you never knew when Nami was about to sell off half their possessions for more cash, or if Luffy was feeling particularly curious that day and wondered if it would sink in the ocean, consequently jumping after it and nearly drowning.

At the very least, they were glad that they had the chance to get back to their sweet man, a forlorn look on his flushed face from having waited for them (what was, in his opinion) for too long. That needy expression of his could melt them with uncontrollable need. They just wish he’d never ever come to know that, or else he’d become insufferable.

Settled back in his lap, Sanji was all too eager to have them ontop of him, a curious look now on his face. “What’ve you got behind your back, my love?”

“A little gift,” they vaguely said, before thinking for a few moments. “You know how you like to wear rings?”

“Not when I’m cooking, but generally speaking, yes.” He hummed, eyes lighting up as he tried to take a peek behind them. “Oh, you really shouldn’t have, ma chéri—“

Interrupting his little rant with a kiss, that shut him up enough for them to wag a finger at him. “I’m not finished yet, you impatient man.” At that, they shifted a little in his lap. “I’d noticed that you always kept your ring finger bare. Knowing you as well as I believe I do, I think I know why that is.” Carefully, as steadily as they could manage, they pulled that small box from behind their back, popping it open with one hand while the other rested over his shirt. “But would you consider changing that now?”

A choked gasp left Sanji’s parted lips, and his eyes had turned large and glassy. The sparkling ring set into the velvet was not just impossibly gorgeous, but looked ludicrously expensive as well. He was certainly taken aback, though they hoped that it was because of him having not seen this somewhat-impromptu proposal coming, and not as a precedent to being rejected.

All that he could do was stumble over his words, his thoughts getting all jumbled up and his heart pounding furiously against their palm. “Is this… are you asking me to—?”

“Marry me, Sanji, yes.” Their laugh came out a little strained, nerves finally getting to them a little. “If you’ll have me.”

“You say this as if I’m not currently and always painfully wanting you,” he breathed out, briefly closing his eyes, before tugging them into his chest. Collapsing against him, they pretended not to know the reason why he’d hid his face into their neck, and pretended not to notice his half-sniffles. “Yes. Fuck, of course, yes.”

“That’s settled then,” they quietly said, surprised to find a lump in their throat themself. All they could do was just squeeze him back twice as tightly, their hands patting his back fondly as the embrace filled every single nook and cranny in their heart with love.

And if they happened to waste a few more hours holding each other so tight lest they break, locking the door to the aquarium bar behind them as they shared tender touches and pleasured sighs that were lost to the quiet night, then no one was to blame.

Taglist: @stories-that-shaped-me @finch-ya @wifeofkyojuro

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#imagine #oneshot #fluff #spicy #anime #one piece #one piece x reader #one piece fluff #one piece oneshot #smut #op #opla #opla x reader #one piece live action #vinsmoke sanji #vinsmoke sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji fluff #sanji #sanji x reader #sanji fluff #vinsmoke sanji smut #sanji smut #strawhat pirates #one piece sanji #one piece vinsmoke sanji #op sanji #op vinsmoke sanji #strawhats #black leg sanji #opla sanji

[dgrailwar]

Round 8, Day 1 - ALL TEAMS (but mostly Team Pretender) - [ TRUE NAME DISSOLUTION ]

Team Pretender chooses to trigger the Pretender's True Name Dissolution! Oberon's gameplay style, personality, skills, and perhaps even the current state of the Grail War will cha--

"Ahh… you're sure? This would be a pretty nasty spoiler… I mean, might spoil things in a pretty nasty way."

"Well, if you say so. Let's put up a curtain, just in case anyone wants to remain in this illusion of bliss."

Ah. So you decided to keep reading? Good. I hope you're ready. Because in exchange for visuals, you'll have to live with words.

You watched as the form of 'Oberon' began to decay, his form withering and rotting away into dark, pulpy matter. The process was vile and agonizing, the smell of sloughing sinew and blackening bones filling the forest. The bugs crawled to the disgusting carcass, worming their way in, making nests and feasting greedily as the fairy king dropped to the earth, his body no more than a dark puddle that slowly grew in size, before rising.

Rising, and rising.

A swarm of darkness, rising and rising.

A vile king, an abyssal worm, rising above the digital space.

An empty entity that loathed existence itself. An eternal pit that swallowed worlds.

And as naught but innocent bystanders, the Masters could only watch in horror, for how could they have known this would happen?!

Hah!

Yeah, right. That's horseshit.

Of course they knew what would happen. They just didn't care. Not about the others, or how things would change. That's human nature, you know? Ruin things because it seems interesting at the moment. That's the simple fact of the matter.

They probably looked on proudly. 'We did it!', they would declare, 'We summoned such a mighty and powerful Servant, and none will stand in our way', they probably proclaimed. Or, perhaps even more naively (and perhaps even worse), 'Our friend now has the power to win'! Blegh. Anyways.

Then, as the audience is given a beat to grapple in the horror of the scenario, in a manner of surprising comedic timing they would check their Command Spells… and they would be gone.

'Gone? How could they be gone?', would be the question buzzing in their minds, panic beginning to settle in. Of course, the answer was simple.

That giant abyssal creature did not exist, and yet did exist. A 'hole', only truly meant for a Lost World.

Anyways, do you want a big explanation on how each Servant suffers and dies under the curse, and how the Grail crumbles and withers into itself, reverting to nothing, and how the magical energy suffused by this dark entity breaks free from this digital prison, dooming this world? I mean, I could. Sure.

But why bother? It's basically settled. Here.

What was that thing that Shakespeare had Puck say at the end of that bullshit play?

"If we shadows have offended, Think but this, and all is mended, That you have but slumber’d here While these visions did appear. And this weak and idle theme, No more yielding but a dream."

It's over. You can leave now.

The dream is done.

The Abyssal Wyrm comes and everyone dies. Meaning you've reached a...

I said you can go.

Leave, shoo. Go away.

There's not much past this, so bye.

…Hah! Fine. I lied. I mean, obviously. What a shit ending that would be otherwise. Let's keep it 'sporting', then. This whole farce makes me want to puke, so I need to let out my anger on someone before this ends. Ah- wait, this is narration. No more 'I'. Let's stay detached, lest this become a monologue.

Now, let's settle the matter of where this story stands.

There was the melting, the decay, the ruination of the idea of 'Oberon'. Check.

The insects feasting, nesting, and crowding on his decaying body, a ritual to send his body to the earth, and arise anew. Duh.

The vanishing Command Spells, as you realized that your connection was nothing more than a scam. Of course.

The giant abyssal creature looming over the horizon. Obviously.

That stuff happened. Remember it.

But the Servants didn't die (yet).

The digital space wasn't swallowed by darkness (yet).

All isn't lost (yet).

Those were lies. Though, if I'm the one saying it…

Ah, whatever. Now... how did these sort of things go for the others? Right, right.

Behold, the vile king of the abyss. He who resides wherever 'emptiness' lies. The wrath of the Planet, given form and cursed with eternal loathing and hollow truth. He who only should have existed within the confines of the Lost World, as he has no role within human history. He, made of lies, sheds his farcical shell. He who makes you go 'Oh, we, uh, should have summoned the Archetype of the Planet for this one' with dumb mouths agape!

Behold, the end of worlds and dreams. The one who fells the morning lark. The one who consumes the evening shroud. The one who devours the twilight.

Behold--

The Extra Class of Endless Deceit, Pretender!

#team pretender #team avenger #team mooncancer #team foreigner #team alter ego #team ruler #team gunner #overseer post

[14dyh]

Look My Way | H.Z.

Pairing: Hange Zoë x gn!reader Summary: The 14th of February is a day of love for many, but maybe not for you.  Word count: 1.1k Content warning: blood (from a nosebleed), tiny bit of angst A/N: I'm not crying during Valentine's Day I swear 😇 (liar) anyway hvd, hange lovers!!

Noise and laughter enveloped the room, friends giving gifts, lovers holding each other. One would look at the scene and tell you it was such a loving ambiance, yet your heart grew heavy. It felt so cold and alone from where you sat. Maybe it was the A/C, or maybe it's just cold in February, who knows? You tried to ignore everything, head bowed down to your notes. It was a hectic school day, after all. You should be worrying about that more, shouldn't you?

However, a soundless gasp escaped your lips as your notes slowly became dotted with your tears. It was embarrassingly plenty, even creasing the paper and making the ink bleed through. 

You've overheard so many I love yous, so many words of affection, piercing your ear. Each endearing word coupled with pressing school matters only colluded to pierce your ripping heart to ruination. 

Yes, you want to celebrate this day. You wish you could. You wouldn't have spent last night pouring out your heart to the love letter you wrote for them, but now you're letting time slip by, letting that letter crease inside your tight school bag. Even the flowers you bought began to get smothered inside, your bag zipper even caught one petal. 

You wanted to leave. To get out of this suffocating room and free yourself. But your body remained tied to this place, tied to the sound of their voice and their presence inside the room. 

Hange.

You wanted to scream, you wanted to tell them how much they meant to you from the moment they sat by your side that one Monday afternoon a year ago. Your periphery caught them smiling from the other side of the room as people gave them flowers and chocolates. They are so polite, kind, enthusiastic, and everyone loves them. Everyone loved their brilliance, their helpfulness, the depth of their passion and curiosity you couldn't find in anyone else. They are so dearly loved. 

You were convinced that yours was different. Everyone talks about them like a dream come true, and yes they are. However, you couldn't utter a word to describe them. They felt like everything good in the world, you would tell yourself. Your heart aches whenever they look your way, when your hands brush against the hallway, or those few times they gently touch your shoulder and mutter a soft excuse me as they pass by with a smile. 

How could someone with such an explosive, fascinating personality act so gentle and lovable all at the same time?

Hange could be the most complex paradox and you would've loved them still. 

But you sat alone, a few empty chairs away from them, yearning and wishing for them to look your way. For their eyes to meet yours on this day of love. 

Eventually, the school event began. Sweet serenades and romantic dances filled the gymnasium with love. If love is in the air, it must be suffocating, you thought as you sat in silence with a book as far away from the noise as possible. 

You tried to resist tearing up once again. But their sweet voice filled your ears and nestled its beautiful tune in your mind. They looked so happy during the event, laughing and joking with their friends. They don't have a special someone by their side but they don't seem to need anyone anyway. You didn't hear them being involved with anyone for the whole year you knew each other. No one deserves such a heart anyway. 

The air only grew thick, more suffocating than it ever was. It was two hours away from dismissal, but some students were beginning to leave the gymnasium, probably to celebrate the rest of the day with their lovers. You decided to slip by the flocks of people, walking with haste as tears flowed from your eyes again. The last Valentine's Day felt like this, if not worse. You always remain an admirer from afar, clamming up the moment you even think of confessing. 

You were too occupied by trying to get away without tripping on your own feet, while also quickly wiping down tears. You're beginning to hate how leaky your eyes always get. 

All you feel brings more weight to your body as you walk, you could have sworn that your feet were beginning to sink on the ground. 

But all this time you were busy hating this day, Hange wanted to make you feel otherwise. They began to regret not noticing the sadness clouding your eyes since morning and only processed things as you were leaving with haste. They could always pick out your sound even amongst a sea of voices. It pained them that you never uttered a word but only sobbed. They got up from their seat the moment they noticed your departure, slipping past the crowd and into a shortcut so they could race you to the school gate. 

They knew they succeeded the moment you passed them by, your footsteps quickening as your teary eyes caught theirs. Hange was quick to catch you in their arms, excusing their sudden action with a conversational "hey."

Your mind raced for a plausible reason as to why your eyes were tearing up, dismissing it with a wave and a believable smile.

I have to go home, you told them. And as you were smoothing out your clothes, and wiping down the tear tracks on your cheeks, your handkerchief caught red. 

You winced at the sight of the nosebleed running past your lips. Could this day get any worse?

Do you have to bleed, to go through extremities for anyone to look your way?

Hange pulled their handkerchief, firmly staunching the blood pouring out of your nose. 

You would try to laugh, try to tell them that your nosebleeds are common, and you could handle it better at home. But your words halted when Hange spoke. 

"I noticed you didn't have lunch today," Hange muttered, both worried and upset, brows slightly furrowed. Their voice became softer as they continued. "Why don't we go out? We could eat somewhere."

They had a small smile on their face, and their eyes shone as well as if smiling along their lips. 

Hange couldn't bear to see you alone and hurting in the day when you're supposed to feel more loved than you ever were. It wasn't from their pity or plain friendliness unlike what you might be thinking, and Hange will make sure to let you know by the end of the day. 

“I bet there would be a table for two at any restaurant at this hour," they proposed, lacing their hand around yours, the soft smile on your lips making their heart race. 

The night remained cold, and February was unforgiving, but it all ceased to matter the moment Hange took you in their arms for the rest of the evening.

#hange zoë #hange zoe #hanji zoë #hanji #hanji zoe #hange snk #hange x y/n #hange x reader #hange x you #hange zoe x reader #hange zoe x you #hange zoe x y/n #hange aot #aot x you #hanji zoe x reader #hanji x reader #hanji x you #hanji x y/n #aot hanji #aot fanfiction #aot x reader #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk fanfiction #snk #14dyh-writes

[quotergirl19]

Polin Parallels:

The number of times the show has set up Colin & Penelope to parallel Darcy & Elizabeth from Pride and Prejudice are delicious.

These two are going to put us through it in season 3.

I particularly enjoy the subtle homages to Colin Firth’s Darcy.

The entering the room and catching his breath:

Sitting at a desk reading, writing or journaling:

Elizabeth overheard Darcy proclaiming fairly loudly at a party that Elizabeth was not beautiful enough to tempt him. Just like Penelope overheard Colin announcing at a party that he would never court her. And while Penelope loves him enough to forgive him eventually, she’ll be reluctant because he humiliated her just like Darcy humiliated Elizabeth.

I predict Penelope will admit to Colin that she’s not good at speaking to people she doesn’t know (like Darcy) and Colin is going to recommend she practice (like Elizabeth says to Darcy), hence the lessons Colin gives Penelope for confidence.

Colin’s fencing.

Colin’s khaki jacket and black top hat while traveling on horseback.

The way Mr. Darcy said, “I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew I had begun,” when talking about when he knew he loved Elizabeth. He just realized that he was madly in love with her at some point and he couldn’t live without her.

Colin is going to have a similar epiphany about his feelings for Penelope. Book Colin even said he didn’t know how or when it happened but he just realized at some point that he was completely in love with Penelope.

I wonder if in a heated moment when Colin finds out Penelope is Whistledown, whether he will say her defect is her propensity to hate everyone because she’s written so harshly about people she doesn’t know well and then Penelope can snap back that his defect is to willingly misunderstand people like he did when he ignored all the warnings from people he knew and trusted when they said anything cautionary about Marina because he had blindly chosen to believe her over them. Colin won’t like it but it’s true.

Darcy saved Elizabeth’s family from ruination when Wickham ran off with Lydia but when Elizabeth expresses her gratitude for what he did for her family, he admits that he didn’t do it for them, he did it for her. The same way Colin didn’t drive off Lord Featherington for Lady Featherington or Prudence, he did it for Penelope.

I can’t wait to see what other parallels I spot when season 3 is finally here!

#bridgerton #i love parallels #polin #quotergirl random thoughts #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #penelope x colin #colin x penelope #polin parallel #pride & prejudice #darcy x elizabeth

[ptn-imagines]

can you write romantic relationship headcanons about mcqueen where the reader is also a sinner ? :D

Here you go! Admittedly I feel like there wasn't enough Sinner-specific stuff, so I added in the MBCC stuff for that reason. I'm also putting this one beneath a read more due to allusions to McQueen's self-destructive tendencies.

Romantic relationship between McQueen and Sinner!Reader

You have never heard of “the path of least resistance.” The harder they are to get, the more you want them. Or you’re just crazy. Possibly both.

The path to actually dating McQueen is going to be a long one. Oh, there will be flirting, touching, dates and possibly even more, in no small amount; however, being a Sinner isn’t a free pass into McQueen’s confidence.

The fact of the matter is that, at least at first, she is absolutely using you. You’re a fun toy to play with for a bit, and she’ll discard you when she gets bored of you. And she will get bored of you if you don’t do something to grab her attention permanently.

If you truly want to pursue a relationship with McQueen, you’ll first have to be able to see through her disguise. Background knowledge of the art world will help, but the second McQueen has you eating out of her palm, you’ve already lost your chance.

Secondly, you have to sympathize with her pain and understand what led her to this path. If you can’t do that, you’ll forever be held at arms’ length, and that’s if you’re lucky. McQueen has a lot of power, after all, and it wouldn’t be terribly difficult for her to make a troublesome Sinner sniffing around in her affairs disappear.

If you support her in her destructive path, your relationship will ultimately be a short-lived but passionate one. The two of you will burn down the filthy, sinful world around you for sure, but you’ll likewise be consumed by the inferno. You’ll have no regrets, though, and likely you’ll go to your ruination at your own hand with a vindictive sense of satisfaction.

If you want something longer-term that won’t destroy the both of you in the end, however, you need to rebuke her. Sympathize but don’t support; McQueen will scorn any idea that she can be redeemed, and indeed it’s likely she’s too entrenched in what she does to ever truly abandon it, but it’ll chip away at her defenses. Though she’ll deny it, McQueen still has fleeting fantasies about the what ifs, if her mentor hadn’t found her that fateful day. Seeing something in her she thinks is no longer attainable, giving her hope, is what will ultimately win you favor.

You’ll end up dating McQueen long before she allows herself to actually be vulnerable around you. McQueen is a whirlwind of messy feelings and contradictions and for her, the falling-in-love part comes before the development of true trust. This is going to be infuriating. There’s no two ways around it. Still, if you got this far, you knew what you signed up for. Nevertheless, no one is going to blame you if you back out now, least of all McQueen; in fact, that’s what she expects. It’s what she thinks she deserves.

Patience is key. You should be cautious about pushing McQueen past her limits when it comes to vulnerability, but at the same time don’t let her be too evasive and dodge uncomfortable subjects all the time. Her first instinct is to flee from emotional situations and avoid vulnerability and intimacy. It’s nothing to do with you, it’s just an ingrained survival instinct and trauma response in her; however, if you don’t hold her by the metaphorical scruff from time-to-time, your patience will dry up long before you make any progress with her.

Ultimately, if you can be patient with her and rein in her self-destructive tendencies, you’ll end up with a partner who might seem flamboyant and insincere to an outsider, but is in actuality incredibly attentive and adoring of you. McQueen knows your preferences down to the most minute detail, and if you’ve gotten this far, her extravagant demeanor clearly didn’t put you off. She’ll go above and beyond to spoil you, and she’ll never mess it up; each day with her will be a surprise. Just don’t think too hard about how she’s funding all this.

In addition, McQueen is incredibly tuned in to your emotional needs, and can pick up on minute cues that most others will miss. Most of the time you might not even know you’re giving off these cues; McQueen likes to joke about it by saying she’s a mind-reader.

On rare nights, if you’re lucky, you’ll get to see the side of McQueen that she’s tried to leave dead and buried. If you’ve comforted her in the wake of a terrible nightmare, held her as she shook from a particularly bad flashback, talked her down from the height of her self-harming impulses… Know that McQueen is trusting you with everything that she is. Be kind and gentle with her. She doesn’t think she deserves it, but it’s what she needs. She hates herself enough as it is. Don’t reinforce that.

Don’t expect to ever get married to McQueen, either; the whole dating thing is hard enough for her. Still, if you’ve gotten to this point, you hardly need a piece of paper to cement your relationship to one another; McQueen isn’t going anywhere unless you yourself break it off.

In the MBCC, expect McQueen to spend a lot of time around you and show you off to the other Sinners, bragging about her amazing partner. If this bothers you, tell her; contrary to the expectations many might hold of her,  she’ll quit that behavior right away. You’re the most important thing to her, after all, even more so than her revenge. She can probably live without her revenge. After all, that Chief is monitoring her actions. Living without you, though? That’s an idea she doesn’t even want to entertain.

Some of McQueen’s old habits might slip through, and you might catch her flirting with MBCC staff or other Sinners. It’s not serious and she’s not even really thinking about it. Still, call her out on it if it bothers you, and… Well, she can’t promise it’ll never happen again, as flirting is part of the persona she wears, but she’ll make a concerted effort to stop, and you’ll definitely notice the dramatic decrease in flirtations.

She’s going to complain constantly about not being able to share a cell with you. You could probably convince the Chief if you want to, though. If not… Well, she’ll cope.

If you have any scruples with her forged artworks, be careful not to express any interest in any artwork, though, lest you find yourself the new owner of an “authentic” McQueen piece.

Also… If you notice your enemies in Eastside suddenly going missing or winding up dead… Well, McQueen won’t say she was involved, but she also won’t say she wasn’t. Don’t worry, though; nobody will ever connect the deaths and disappearances to you. She’s got skills that the Garden would respect, after all.

#ptn #path to nowhere #mcqueen #ptn mcqueen #path to nowhere mcqueen #ptn headcanons #path to nowhere headcanons

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Pomegranate Ink: XXVI

Series Synopsis: Unable to heal but willing to fight, with a fiancé in Kyoto and a last name that looms over everything you do, you accept an offer to study at Tokyo Jujutsu Tech. What you did not know was that your salvation and your ruination alike would soon join you at the school, neatly wrapped in the form of a boy followed by death.

Chapter Synopsis: You reunite with the remaining students and figure out what your next steps should be.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Yuta Okkotsu × Female Reader

Chapter Word Count: 5.9k

Content Warnings: angst, misogyny, naoya zenin, forbidden relationships, canon-typical violence, character death, original characters included

A/N: this is the most transition chapter to ever transition chapter LMAOAOA i’m so sorry but after everything w the shibuya chapter i think we need one where lowkey nothing happens. sorry i didn’t rehash tengen’s culling games speech but i was not writing all of that 💯 it’s the same as whatever was in the manga so if you want a refresher just look at the culling games wiki page or smth.

“Y/N,” a soft voice whispered in your ear. “Wake up, Y/N. We managed to sneak you out of there, but you have to wake up now.”

The hands which held yours were burnt but otherwise familiar, the shape of the palms and the length of the fingers both things that you had long ago memorized. For a moment, you did not let your eyes open, wanting to linger in the dream you had been having, but you knew you owed it to her to do that much.

It was Maki. You knew that that was true — the girl in front of you was definitely Maki, but she was not Maki as you had ever seen her. Her hair had been lopped short, and she was wearing her round glasses from your first year instead of the rectangular frames you had grown accustomed to seeing on her. The sleeves of her uniform had been cut off, and a short cape was settled around her shoulders, but none of this was the greatest surprise: it was the scars criss-crossing up her arms, down her neck, and over her face that took you aback, as well as the bandage wound around her head and over one of her eyes.

“Maki,” you whispered. “Who—?”

Her expression was grim. “Probably the same bitch that did that to you.”

You glanced down at your own palms, and then your eyes widened as you realized that they, too, were mottled with burn scars. Hesitantly, you reached up and touched your neck, only to feel the same puckered skin around it — like a collar, but ten times as hideous. Jogo’s permanent brand on your body. An indelible reminder of what had happened to you in Shibuya, of what you had done.

“Composition shouldn’t leave scars like this,” you said, fumbling about, trying to find something to grab onto but coming up empty. “It’s too perfect, too precise. Who healed us?”

“Ieri,” Maki said. “The L/Ns were too busy dealing with Sukuna’s victims, so none of them were free to help us. It’s not a problem. We both were able to pull through, even if we look a little worse off than before.”

“Too busy…dealing with Sukuna’s victims?” you repeated hollowly.

“A lot of people were hurt in the attack,” a new voice said. It was a tall woman, with eyes like gold and pale hair cascading down her back. “I’m Yuki Tsukumo, by the way. I don’t think we’ve met formally before, though I’ve definitely heard about you.”

“That’s not the case,” you said. “That’s not why they didn’t heal Maki and I.”

You didn’t understand it. Why had your father chosen to do that? He wouldn’t even heal you and Maki? Was it not enough that he had already refused to save Tullia? You weren’t anything without her, and that, too, confused you. Why had he taken away your other half? If he wanted you to be a healer, then why had he abandoned your Composition when she needed him? If he loved you, then why had he left you to die?

“What do you mean?” Maki said. Something curled in you as you looked at your hands, the hands that had used Composition to destroy Tullia and then hadn’t even been able to draw upon it once more in order to save her. You wished you could trade your body with Maki’s. You were the one who deserved to be burnt all over. Maki didn’t. You were the one who had used Composition against Jogo instead of thinking of another method. You were the one who brought Tullia to Sukuna. You should’ve argued with your father. You should’ve threatened him, forced him into it somehow.

But what kind of threats would’ve been believable from a girl who was barely clinging to life herself? What kind of man listened to a filthy child who could not even save her best friend, the very source of her power? Of course he had not done anything. Of course he had not lifted even one finger in your aid.

“It’s my fault,” you said, your lower lip trembling as tears welled in your eyes. You needed something to hold onto. You needed something to hold on to, or else you’d probably disappear, sink underground and never come back — or maybe you’d light on fire once again, and this time you wouldn’t try to put it out. You needed something to hold on to, but there was nothing. Your hands grasped only at the empty air. “It’s my fault.”

“Y/N, Maki? You’re both here, too?” Itadori said. And even though his voice was different, his face kinder, more tired than angry, even though you knew he was your beloved junior and not anyone else, you still felt claws squeezing around your burnt throat at the sight of him.

As you watched, invisible slashes cut through Tullia’s body, thousands upon thousands of them so that her remains did not even resemble a person anymore, so that she was nothing more than a fallen heap of blood and cloth and poison sitting before you.

You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t see anything but that ghastly image, played over and over, the moment that she burst apart imprinted on your mind. Somewhere, dimly, someone called your name, but you covered your ears. It sounded too similar to the way he said it, like you were the curse and he was your victim. Y/N L/N. He was the King of Curses, and you bore the name of the woman who sealed him. Y/N L/N.You could not stand to hear those words, not when they had only ever caused you grief. Y/N L/N. Tullia would still be alive if that was not your name.

“Y/N,” Yuta said, prying your hands from your ears and holding them together, enveloped in the warmth of his own. “Y/N, it’s alright. It’s just me.”

“Yuta?” you said. He nodded at you, the blue of his eyes so soft. How could he look at you like that? How could he see your mutilated neck, feel your scarred palms, and still stand to look at you like that? “Yuta, is that really you?”

“Yes,” he said. “I’m sorry I came so late. I’m sorry you had to do so much by yourself. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you.”

“It’s my fault,” you said again, one tear dripping onto where your hands were joined, then another, then another. “It’s all my fault. What do they want from me? What is so important that they can kill Tullia for it? Why was I — why was I even born?”

You weren’t sure if you were talking about the L/Ns or Sukuna or both. Why were you still alive but she was dead? Why had you been spared but she hadn’t been? Sukuna hated you but killed her. The L/Ns were abandoned by you but ignored her. Everything that had happened to her had only happened because of you. The girl who had always saved you — that very association was the reason she was dead.

Yuta wrapped one arm around your waist, using the other to cradle the back of your head as you began to cry in earnest, your fingers gripping the collar of his white jacket. At some point, your legs gave out, but with just his one arm, he supported your weight, holding you against him as you sobbed, using the other to stroke your hair in a vain attempt to comfort you.

“It’s not your fault,” he whispered. “You tried to save her. You would’ve given up anything to save her. How can it be your fault that she’s dead?”

“I’m the one who used Composition against that disaster curse,” you said. “I didn’t have to do that. I didn’t have to keep going. I should’ve saved enough energy that I could’ve healed her.”

“If you hadn’t done that, then you both would’ve died,” he said. You surmised Itadori had filled him in about what had happened in Shibuya, or perhaps he had gotten an official report — you weren’t quite sure how long it had been since you had fainted, only that you had woken up beside Maki on the small sofa in the school’s basement. “There was nothing else you could’ve done. You had to at least save yourself.”

“But why am I even still alive? What am I supposed to do now?” you said before pausing, a new life entering you as you remembered something. You ripped yourself free from Yuta’s embrace, addressing the entire room. The others paused in their conversations as you regarded all of them with something resembling excitement. “Where’s Gojo?”

Nobody spoke for a minute, all trading uncomfortable looks. You waited patiently for one of them to explain; finally, Maki cleared her throat.

“Er, Y/N, didn’t you hear he was sealed?” she said.

“Of course I did, or we — I wouldn’t have gone into the station,” you said, tripping over your words. “But you all managed to unseal him, right?”

Further silence. Maki looked at the ground. She was always so blunt, but this time, she was stepping on eggshells around you, like you were prone to shattering at any instant. In fact, all of them — Itadori, Megumi, Maki, Yuki, the man with the spiky ponytails, and even Yuta — were studiously avoiding your curious gaze. You cocked your head, hoping for someone to elaborate.

“No,” Maki said finally, like she was the elected speaker of the group or something.

“No? Well, I guess it wouldn’t be that simple,” you said. “Where is the prison realm, then? We need it to figure out how to unseal him, right? Which one of you has it?”

“None of us. We don’t have it at all,” Itadori said, finally speaking up, daring to look at you with eyes that were the color of oak, not blood. The resemblance was still uncanny, but that small thing was enough that you could differentiate between him and that other, settling you slightly, though his words made you pause.

“You don’t have it?” you said, taking a step backwards. “What do you mean? Where is it?”

“They took it,” Itadori said. “The curse users. They have him.”

“Stop,” you said. Another step backwards. “Don’t make things up. I just lost my best friend. Don’t — don’t say something like that. You can’t take someone else from me, too.”

“We’ll get him back,” Yuki Tsukumo said. “I give you my word that we will. It’s just for the moment—”

“Why?” you said. “Why did none of you save him?”

Why hadn’t you saved him? That was really what you wanted to ask. Why hadn’t you been strong enough to save him? What could you even do? Too weak to save Gojo. Too weak to save Tullia. Why did it matter that you were the girl that had brought someone back to life? That was all everyone talked about, ever since that day. Y/N L/N, the girl who brought someone back to life. But besides Yuta, who exactly had you saved?

“That’s what we’re going to do,” Megumi said. “That’s why we’re here now. We’re going to get answers out of Master Tengen, and from there, we’ll do something to free him, find some way to get him out of their clutches. Will you help us?”

It was Maki who you stared at, then. How much had she suffered? How much had your poor Maki hurt when she had burned? And then to think she hadn’t even been afforded the favor of a L/N to use Composition on her! It wasn’t just for aesthetic appearances — the healing process was slower, more painful, even downright excruciating if any other Reverse Cursed Technique was used. Her entire body had been in flames, she had fought a special grade but still stubbornly clung to life, and they had not even considered her to be their priority despite the clear need she displayed.

“Yes,” you said, deciding something in that moment, interlocking your fingers with Yuta, using him as your sole pillar of support, aching at what you were giving up but knowing you had to do it. “I will help you. But I will not fight.”

“What do you mean?” Maki said immediately, furiously. She crossed the room in an instant, holding your face in her hands like she could force you to listen by doing that. “What do you mean, you won’t fight?”

“Maki,” Yuta said in immediate disapproval, shaking his head slightly. Her eye flicked to him before she reluctantly let go of you. You didn’t blame her; she of all people knew how much you wanted to fight, what it meant for you to use Dissection. Because it was not just exorcising; Dissection was your liberation, your freedom from the constraints of your clan, the constraints of who you were.

“Y/N?” she said. “How can you say something like that?”

“I’ll never use Dissection again,” you said. “My father and the higher ups…they were right. I was never meant to fight. I’m a prodigy with Composition, so that’s what I should focus on. I’m the girl who brought someone back to life, so why have I been deluding myself by thinking that I’ll ever amount to anything else? I mean, a Grade 1 sorcerer, really? I only even got that promotion because I revived Yuta.”

“That’s not true!” To your surprise, it was Megumi saying that, which was completely uncharacteristic of him. When he noticed everyone was looking at him with varying degrees of shock, his ears turned pink, and he coughed. “I mean, um. You know, you helped me out a lot that day that Itadori ate the finger and all, so I was just talking about that.”

“But the moment you understood why I was held in such high regard by the higher ups was the exchange event, when I saved you from dying to the cursed buds,” you reminded him. “It was Composition once again that truly earned your respect.”

“It’s a good idea, actually, for you to remain a healer. Like you said, you’re on a different level entirely when it comes to the Reverse Cursed Technique, so it would be illogical for us to send you out to battle and risk you when you might be the only barrier between life and death for any of us, should it come down to that,” Yuki Tsukumo said.

They planned on treating you in the same way that they treated Shoko Ieri. It was an uncomfortable thought, imagining everyone fighting on the front lines without you, but you knew you had to come to terms with it. You had tried your hand at fighting already, and all you had done was kill one of your best friends. Even then, even when you had done that, you had had to rely on Composition, so what use did Dissection even have for you anymore?

You were doing the right thing by swearing off it. It was hindering your growth as a healer; just like your father had said, you could not have Composition without Dissection, at least not anymore. Not without — not without —

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Yuta murmured, soft enough that only you could hear.

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” you said, to Maki as much as him. “This isn’t about me. There’s no reason for me to be fighting. I’m not as good as the rest of you at it. The only way I can stand beside you all is by healing. Anyways, I’m the only Composition user you can trust, so you’ll need me like this. My family…isn’t to be relied on anymore.”

“You said something along those lines earlier,” Yuki Tsukumo said. “What do you mean by it?”

“Once, I chose to fight instead of heal,” you said. “I thought I could have it all. I thought my choice was fine, because I had Tullia by my side to take the consequences with me. My father warned me that one day, it would come back to haunt me, but I didn’t understand what he meant until recently.”

Itadori’s throat bobbed. You wondered if he could see what his body was doing when Sukuna had control. Had he watched you beg for help? Had he watched you offer Sukuna everything in exchange for Tullia’s life? What did he even think of you if he had?

“Tullia didn’t die in the fight against Jogo,” you said. “She was still alive when I brought her to the healing ward. They just — they just needed to heal her a little bit. Just enough that she could’ve drank some poison and I could’ve taken over and done the rest.”

“You don’t mean…” Maki said, her face tinged green as she arrived at the conclusion before anyone else, simply due to her previous exposure to the cruel habits of the clans. Megumi, likely the smartest of the Tokyo students, was the next to understand, though his eyebrows knit together in naive confusion, the deed incomprehensible to someone as good as him.

“There was no other reason for it. They said no because it was my responsibility. I was the one who had to heal her, and I couldn’t. That’s why she died. The explanation is the same for why they didn’t show up to the exchange event — because it was my choice. Because they would no longer clean up my messes. If I wanted to have both, then I had to deal with what that meant,” you said.

The only reason Yuta did not draw his sword at that moment was because he was holding your hand. His scowl was so fearsome, though, that you understood in that second why he was a special grade sorcerer alongside Gojo and Yuki Tsukumo. Maki was no different, but there was a menacing aura around her that you had never noticed before, like her body was not meant to contain the rage she felt, or was unable to, or something like that. You had forgotten this: Tullia was not only tied to you. They loved her, too.

“They killed her,” Maki said.

“Sukuna killed her,” Itadori said.

“Sukuna dealt the final blow, but she was dead the instant the L/Ns refused to help her,” Yuta corrected. “It’s all the more reason for you not to blame yourself, Y/N. How could that be your fault at all?”

“I should’ve made this decision a long time ago,” you said. “I should’ve chosen Composition the second I proved to have the aptitude for it. That’s how it’s my fault. If I had just done as my father said in the first place, he never would’ve had to punish me like this. If I hadn’t had to use Tullia’s energy for my own Reverse Cursed Technique, then she’d still be alive.”

“What kind of a family is that?” the man with the spiky ponytails said, piping up for the first time. “It doesn’t matter how big your mistakes are. They are the ones that should be trusted to help you fix them, no matter the personal cost.”

The stubborn lump in your throat would not vanish, no matter how many times you swallowed, trying to rid yourself of it so you didn’t squeak when you spoke to the imposing man. Eventually, you gave up, deciding there was no point.

“Do you really think so?” you said.

“As an older brother, I would do anything for my siblings, as mine would do anything for me,” he said. “It’s just like that when you share blood. If those people didn’t help you when you needed it most, you probably can’t consider them your family. It doesn’t have much to do with you.”

“He’s right,” Yuta said. “The choice that the L/Ns made is a reflection on them, not you.”

“That doesn’t mean you give up fighting, either!” Maki said. “You can’t let them win like that. You can’t prove your father right. If you just decide to heal now, then he’ll think he did the proper thing in…doing what he did.”

“Whether it was the proper thing or not, the end result is the same,” you said. “I cannot watch something like that happen to anyone again. Thus, I can never use Dissection again. I will help you all in saving Gojo, that much is for certain, but not on the front lines. Not as a fighter. This is a good thing, though — it means you all don’t have to worry anymore. No matter the extent of the damage, I will heal it. I can’t promise that I won’t let anything happen to you all, but what I will say is this: if by chance something does occur, I will reverse it. It can be anything. It can even be death. I will reverse it. You can count on that.”

The man with the ponytails, who referred to himself as Itadori’s older brother and was apparently named Choso, claimed that he had a way into the mysterious vault where Master Tengen resided. You weren’t sure how much you should be trusting this random person, but the others really seemed to believe that he was someone to be relied upon, so you didn’t protest much, following after him willingly as he led you all through the maze of stairs and hallways and barrier techniques which disguised Master Tengen’s presence.

Yuta clung to you the entire time, or maybe it was the other way around — maybe you were the one clinging to him, maybe you were the one who couldn’t let go. You were afraid that if you did, he’d vanish. You were afraid that if your hand left his for a second, he’d go away somewhere and never come back. You’d lose him. You’d lose him, and that was the one thing you knew you could not handle.

He was your only certainty, your only constancy. The rest of the world could be burning, but that fact would always sit in the back of your mind: Yuta would come. He would give up anything if it meant saving you, would turn his sword upon himself if the only other place it could come to rest was in your own heart. Months could pass, but it would always be the same. He would always be the same.

“It’s empty? What kind of shrine is this?” Itadori said.

“It’s not empty,” Yuki Tsukumo said. “Tengen must be rejecting us or something. I thought they might reject me, but for them to do so for all of you is definitely out of the ordinary.”

“We should go, then. We don’t have the time to waste; if we’re too late, we won’t be able to help your sister, Megumi,” Yuta said. On the way down, they had all taken turns explaining what the situation was to you, so you were mostly caught up, but you still found it hard to take in and had spent most of the walk since just mulling it all over. None of it felt real. How had society collapsed so quickly? You all had just been playing baseball together. How had everything fallen apart in such a short time? 

“You’re leaving so soon?” It was a distinctly androgynous voice speaking, and the figure to whom it belonged resembled a human in the same way a curse might. Their arms were crossed as they regarded your group, and there was no other explanation other than this being Master Tengen, in the flesh. “Daughter of the resurrection…child of the Zenin…Michizane’s descendant…Death Painting Womb…and Sukuna’s vessel.”

Daughter of the resurrection. You tuned out Master Tengen as they spoke, figuring one of the others would give you the rundown later and not feeling particularly up to listening to that kind of thing at the moment. Once, you would’ve been fascinated to hear about the complex curse theory that he was spouting, but now, you had other things on your mind.

You had been so confident that Sukuna wanted a body from you. Not your own, of course, which would not be suited as a vessel for any curse, but what you had described to him was not an impossibility. Theoretically, you could’ve healed away any perceived imperfections in a body, turning it into the peak of human physicality and then destroying its brain so that it was receptive to takeover by Sukuna. You thought it was so clearly that which he desired from you, but you had been wrong. There was something else, something else only you could give him, but what was it? You were the prodigy of Composition, so it must have been related to that, but how?

Master Tengen had called you the daughter of the resurrection. What did that mean? Did it have something to do with what Sukuna wanted? Or had they simply heard of what you had done for Yuta? But, then, that would make you the bringer of resurrection yourself, not the daughter of it. There had to be some way that everything was connected, but you were the fool who could not see how it all came together.

“What do we do from here?” Itadori said.

“I have a few ideas. To start off, Yuki and Choso will stay here to guard Master Tengen, as previously discussed,” Megumi said.

“I’ll go to the Zenins to search the warehouse of cursed tools,” Maki added. “Since the Kamos and Zenins have completely cleared the school’s warehouse, there’s nothing for us to get from here, but luckily Megumi’s now the head of the Zenins, so there shouldn’t be a problem with me going through their warehouse and taking what I like. Though in the meanwhile, Master Tengen, if you could get me that sword…”

“From Juzo Kumiya’s workshop? Understood,” Master Tengen said.

“I appreciate it,” Maki said. “What about the rest of you?”

“I’ll go to one of the colonies right away and feel out the situation,” Yuta said. “It’ll be for the best if I gather some information before the others join, but I’ll try to go to a colony that’s further away so I don’t run the risk of having to kill one of you.”

“Sounds good,” Itadori said. “I guess we’ll just wait until you give us the signal to enter.”

“There’s nothing else we can do in the meantime,” Megumi agreed. “I suppose we can take Y/N to where Shoko, Ijichi, and the others are. That should be enough time for you to get started in the colonies, right, Okkotsu?”

The mention of your name made you snap to full attention, chasing away the fog which was clouded over your mind. Rapidly synthesizing the information which you had, thankfully, absorbed despite barely paying attention to any of it — a side effect of being Gojo’s student, maybe — you frowned in thought.

“Wait,” you said. “There’s some flaws to your plans.”

“Huh?” Itadori said. They all seemed surprised that you were speaking, which you didn’t blame them for; you had remained silent for the most part, a clear contrast to your typical self. It was easy to drown in thoughts and self-loathing, but you knew that if they wanted this plan to work, there were some other things that needed to be done, and you’d be an idiot to let your remaining friends waltz into such a dangerous situation unprepared.

“First of all, even if Megumi is the clan head, the Zenins will never respect his word as law. He’s a bastard that bears the name Fushiguro; do you really think the likes of Naoya would let you go through the warehouse just because someone like that says you can?” you said, raising your eyebrows at Maki. “I’ll go with you.”

“No way!” Maki said vehemently. “I’ll never take you to a place like that if I can help it. You don’t understand, Y/N, the Zenins make the L/Ns seem downright benevolent. You’ve never been there, so you wouldn’t know, but — but — I can’t put you in that kind of danger. Especially if you’ve sworn off Dissection.”

“I have been there, and I know the risks, but I’m not worried. Besides, there’s a piano performance I promised I’d listen to,” you said, gritting your teeth at the thought of having to see that man again but realizing it was for the best. “I can serve as a distraction for them so that they don’t even think of objecting to you going into their warehouse.”

“Are you certain? The Zenins aren’t a clan you should trifle with,” Megumi said.

“None of the clans are to be trifled with, but they’ve left us with no choice, haven’t they? And speaking of the two of you, don’t waste yourselves with meaningless tasks such as escorting me to and from places. If you really need something to do, then…hm. There is that,” you said.

“What are you thinking?” Yuta said, always more attuned to you than the others, picking up on your plan before anyone else.

“I’m not particularly fond of him, so I don’t really like the idea of it, but there is one other person we can ask for help. I’m talking about Hakari,” you said.

“Why would you suggest talking to that kind of idiot?” Maki said immediately, slapping her palm against her forehead. “He’s too busy sitting on his ass to help us.”

“Who is Hakari?” Itadori said.

“He’s one of the suspended third years,” you said. “There’s no doubt about it — he’s definitely strong. It wouldn’t hurt to ask, you know; he could really be a valuable ally if we can get him on our side.”

“Is he that tough?” Itadori said, still as clueless as ever. It was hard to remember that he had barely been a sorcerer for a few months; of course he did not understand things right away, especially things which had happened before his time or were irrelevant by the date of his enrollment.

“He’s definitely moody, but once he gets worked up, you could even say he’s stronger than me,” Yuta said.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” you said.

“Mm, nope,” Maki said.

“He definitely has the kind of unusual abilities that Gojo likes to cultivate in his students, though. It’ll be hard to convince him to help us, as he’s mostly the lazy type, but if you can, it’ll be huge,” you said.

“It beats sitting around,” Itadori said.

“Right, this way we’re actually doing something productive. I can’t believe we all forgot about Hakari,” Megumi said.

“That was a good idea, Y/N,” Yuta added. You shrugged.

“It was fine, I suppose. Obviously, I’m better at making plans than carrying them out,” you said. “Is that all? We should be off, then. Like you all said earlier, there’s no time to waste.”

You walked out the way you had come, and once you reached the doors, you looked around to make sure the others were sufficiently distracted before embracing Yuta, holding onto him for as long as you could.

“Be careful,” he said. “I don’t trust that the Zenins aren’t planning something.”

“I know they are,” you said. “I’m actually counting on it. That’s the only way we can take advantage of this situation — they think we’re a lot dumber than we are.”

“No one’s smarter than you are, or more talented,” he said. “You will be able to do this. Whatever plan you’re trying to pull off, you succeed. But tell me this one thing honestly before you go. I promise to never bring it up afterwards if you do. Are you sure you want to give up fighting?”

“Yes,” you said. You didn’t explain anymore. Yuta never demanded explanations, and anyways he didn’t need them to understand you. He smiled at that.

“To be honest, I’m a little relieved that that’s the case. Every time you went on a mission, every time you got hurt even a tiny bit, I thought I would die from the grief it caused me. For my own sake as much as yours, I am put at ease,” he said.

“Can I ask you something in return?” you said. He pressed his forehead to yours, and you closed your eyes, basking in his presence for what very well could be the last time. “Am I ruined to you?”

“What do you mean?” he said. “No. I don’t know what could’ve prompted such a question, but the answer is no.”

“The fight against Jogo and the L/Ns’ refusal to heal me has left my neck and hands like this,” you said. “Don’t you find me uglier for it?”

“I could never find you ugly,” he said. “You will always, always be beautiful to me. There isn’t anything you could do that would make you ugly.”

“I offered to make a Binding Vow with Sukuna,” you said, needing to get that off your chest. There was no one else you could tell but him, no one else who you knew would love you unconditionally enough to hear that and not hate you. Yet even with that knowledge, your heart was in your throat as you waited for him to react. “I said I’d find a new body for him, perfect it so that he could have an ideal vessel. I thought that was why he was keeping me alive, so I said I’d do it if he saved Tullia. It wasn’t what he wanted, though, so he didn’t take me up on it and ended up — you know. But I still offered.”

“I see,” he said, and then his thumbs were swiping over your cheeks, wiping away tears you had not noticed falling before his lips met your own in a brief kiss, one as sweet and ephemeral as spun sugar. “She wouldn’t have wanted that.”

“It was the only way I could imagine saving her,” you said.

“There’s no use in dwelling on it. Don’t treat her memory like this; you’ll only end up cursing her. If you only think about her death, you’ll forget about how she was in life. Even if she’s gone now, she was there at one point, and you must endeavor to focus only on that part,” he said.

“It’s hard,” you said.

“I know it is,” he said kindly. “It won’t ever be easy. But you are the Grade 1 sorcerer Y/N L/N. The one who survived a fight against a special grade. The one who won her first exchange event. The one who was the youngest to ever be promoted. Even if you never fight again, please remember that much. Even if it’s hard, know that you’ve done harder.”

“Please be safe,” you said, overwhelmed by the ferocity with which you loved him just then. “Yuta. Please be safe. Please come back.”

“Only for you,” he said. “And I’ll think of you the entire time I’m gone.”

“Why is it that we must spend most of our time together saying goodbye?” you said.

“One day, we won’t have to ever say it again,” he promised. “Not today, but one day.”

“One day,” you said. “I’ll see you then.”

“I’ll see you sooner,” he said. “I couldn’t possibly wait that long. I’ll see you the instant I’ve freed myself and the others from this wretched game. You can count on that.”

“Believe me,” you said. “I will.”

#yuuta x reader #yuuta x y/n #yuuta x you #reader insert #canon au #pomegranate ink #m1ckeyb3rry writes

[bradshawsbaby]

Hi, my love! I hope you had a "safe slide" (as we say in Switzerland😄) into 2024 so far? May I ask for Nr. 16 of the January prompts for our beloved Hannix🩷✨?

Hi, love! 2024 has been off to a good start so far! I hope the same is true for you! Here’s a little angsty forbidden love for Hannix!

She shouldn’t be doing this. She knew this was foolish. Dangerous, even. If anyone caught them, it would be the ruination of both their reputations. Not to mention the damage it would do to her family.

But she couldn’t help herself.

Ever since she’d first laid eyes on him at Lord Kazansky’s Christmas Eve Ball last season, Natasha had known that Viscount Jacob Seresin would be the death of her. He was everything she’d always despised in a man—arrogant, cocky, presumptuous. The list of his faults went on and on. So of course he had to be the man who stole her heart.

If only her heart hadn’t already been promised to another.

She needed this engagement to Lord Vikander to work out. Her family was counting on her. An alliance with a family such as his would secure not only her future, but the futures of her younger sisters as well. She had been promised in marriage to him before she had even met Jacob.

And yet, it was Viscount Seresin, not Lord Vikander, who had her pressed up against the wall in the Earl of Bradshaw’s private study, lips firmly planted against her own as his hands groped desperately at the stays of her gown.

“Natasha,” he panted against her ear, his lips ghosting over the exposed skin of her throat, desperately resisting the urge to bury his fingers in the delicate curls atop her dark head.

“J-Jacob,” she trembled, tears of pleasure and guilt pricking the corners of her eyes as she pressed her gloved hands against his shoulders. “We mustn’t. We can’t. Not anymore.”

He pulled back, blonde hair slightly mussed as he gazed down at her, his sturdy frame still holding her in place against the study wall. Reaching up, he cupped her face in his hands and thumbed her errant tears away. “I love you. Do you understand me? I love you.”

Sniffling softly, she looked up into his green eyes, her heart breaking. “I—”

Before she could finish her thought, however, a scandalized gasp rang out through the room.

“Lady Natasha? Viscount Seresin?”

January OTP Prompts

#hannix #hangman x phoenix #jake hangman seresin #natasha phoenix trace #hannix drabble #january writing prompts

[sucharide]

G'day! I'm Roach. I'm a child of the 20th century and I'm a lover of gothic fiction and gothic romance. Yearning for an era before the algorithm. Profile picture by the talented @missygoesmeow.

Minors, please do not interact with my blog or my work.

If I ever reblog ai generated content, please let me know and link to the post. I will only ever intentionally reblog generative AI if it is a post about identifying generative AI.

I write fic! Please find links to my work under the cut. There are links to the Ao3 page, and also to the original tumblr post I shared them here with.*

Please read the tags in the individual fics -- I write smut that might be upsetting.

Ghost:

A Problem of Mind and Body 5,900 words (explicit) x

The Cardinal creeps into your room at night, intent on teaching you a lesson about the value of obedience, and the joys therein.

Poor Beast in the Catacombs 9646 words (Chapter 2/3) (explicit) x

Hiatus because writing hard but chapter 3 is coming i prommy. i do this for free. im getting there.

Quiet had been the want you bore for the Cardinal. He seemed a man so devout in his studies of the Satanic faith that you had considered him, perhaps, uninterested in that most delicious of Sins - Lust.

It is at Mass one night that you realise perhaps this may not be true, and you can no longer silence those lascivious thoughts and fantasies - but it is on his terms that these passions will be unbound.

Dark are the catacombs - but there are pleasures to be found there, if only you submit to the shadows.

Cover art here by @meowsaidmissy - it is beyond gorgeous!!!

Also, peep this incredible artwork and this gorgeous artwork, both by @meowsaidmissy

What You Deserve 5819 words x

When the terrible inferno consumes you, catharsis comes bloody and destructive.

Perhaps, though, you do not deserve this.

Ritual and Ruination 6911 words (explicit) x

Cardinal Copia has been avoiding you all day, and you do your best to respect his need for space - but when he backs out of Mass with no warning, you're sure something is wrong. When you go to check on him... well, you're not ready for what you find.

Ritual magic can have very strange, very delightful side effects.

A Violent Shower 3979 words (explicit) x

In which the Cardinal makes promises in front of the entire audience - promises that are up to you to fulfil after the show.

Sacrificing Nothing 2761 words x

You thought he knew you better than this - but still, you find out he wants to ask the impossible of you... to be his Prime Mover. But really, what were you thinking was going to happen? He is Papa. This is the way of things, isn't it?

Late Night Worship 4864 words (explicit) x

After watching the Cardinal’s… exertions… on stage, you’re having trouble getting to sleep. There’s something about him that you can’t get out of your head. Perhaps you need a little bit of exertion yourself before bed?

Tumblr only fics/ficlets/headcanons:

Headshot - fic (explicit), inspired by this Ghost chapter: x

Pantysniffing Copia - ficlets (explicit), what it says on the label

Baldur's Gate 3:

Ficlet 16/11/23: Tav x Haarlep in the boudoir bath. Dubious consent. The steam is implied to be a drug-like substance. 324 words. (explicit)

Being able to distinguish fantasy from reality is literally SO sexy.

*NOTE: my fics are exactly where I want them. Do not ever repost. My fic are currently locked to AO3 users only due to data scraping concerns — go get an account! It's worth it, I promise!

[pinned edited 14/07/2023]

#pinned #fics #ghost fic #my fics #Late Night Worship #Sacrificing Nothing #A Violent Shower #Ritual and Ruination #What You Deserve #Poor Beast in the Catacombs #A Problem of Mind and Body

[thefairyhills]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ* A COLLECTION OF QUOTES THAT LIVE IN MY HEAD RENT-FREE.

as the title says, this is a list of quotes from books, movies, song lyrics, videogames, pinterest posts and anything else that has been stuck in my brain forever, for one reason or another. a part 2 may or may not follow. adapt any gendered terms as needed!

❝ to love is to destroy, and to be loved is to be the one destroyed. ❞

❝ there are no men like me. only me. ❞

❝ the heart is an arrow. it demands aim to land true. ❞

❝ give me back my girlhood, it was mine first. ❞

❝ stories connect us to our past. they shape a people in profound ways. without them, we are lost. ❞

❝ everyone loves strength, but do you love me for my weakness? ❞

❝ i wish that i could say i am a light that never goes out, but i flicker from time to time. ❞

❝ just between us, did the love affair maim you too? ❞

❝ when the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway. ❞

❝ death doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints. ❞

❝ when they shattered our spirit, we became sharpest at the break. ❞

❝ she didn't want to be loved for her petals, she wanted to be loved for her thorns. she knew if someone loved her flaws, they would love her whole. ❞

❝ to love someone is firstly to confess: i'm prepared to be devastated by you. ❞

❝ love speaks in flowers. truth requires thorns. ❞

❝ because saving the people you love isn't stupid. it isn't even a choice. ❞

❝ don't go where i can't follow. ❞

❝ whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. ❞

❝ it takes grace to remain kind in cruel situations. ❞

❝ there's some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for. ❞

❝ the water hears and understands. the ice does not forgive. ❞

❝ i am my scars. ❞

❝ that's the thing about pain. it demands to be felt. ❞

❝

it's not your fault i ruin everything. and it's not your fault i can't be what you need. ❞

❝ i'm not interested in being polite or heterosexual. ❞

❝ the flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all. ❞

❝ you were the one who wanted to win. and i just wanted a sister. ❞

❝ you know how scared i am of elevators. never trust it if it rises fast, it can't last. ❞

❝ i am not ruined. i am ruination. ❞

❝ all my flowers grew back as thorns. ❞

❝ if i can't have love i want power. ❞

❝ i came out to attack people, and i'm honestly having such a good time right now. ❞

❝ anger was better than tears, better than grief, better than guilt. ❞

❝ i'm meaner than my demons. ❞

❝ i love her, and that's the beginning and end of everything. ❞

❝ you are haunted, like every other holy thing. ❞

❝ my skin has turned to porcelain, to ivory, to steel. ❞

❝ innocence died screaming, honey, ask me i should know. ❞

❝ what is infinite? the universe and the greed of men. ❞

❝ i could never hold a perfect thing and not demolish it. ❞

❝ how could somebody ever love me? ❞

❝ you don't get to destroy someone and decide how ruined they're allowed to feel. ❞

❝ i am afraid of you. in loving me, you hold a knife at my throat. in loving you, i tell you exactly where to cut. ❞

❝ because i take things away from stupid, evil old men. it's what i do. ❞

❝ they deserve to lose everything. and i deserve to have all their stuff. ❞

❝ tell me, if he handed you a bloodied hand, would you take it, just because it was his? ❞

❝ hell is empty and all the devils are here. ❞

❝ i desire the things that will destroy me in the end. ❞

❝ i have tried loving less but that hurts just the same. ❞

❝ wanting was enough. for me, it was enough to live for the hope of it all. ❞

❝ the only heaven i'll be sent to is when i'm alone with you. ❞

❝ i could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; i would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. i would know him in death, at the end of the world. ❞

❝ these violent delights have violent ends. ❞

❝ we love with claws and teeth and the blood is just proof of how much. it's feral. and it's relentless. ❞

❝ feelings that come back are feelings that never left. ❞

❝ good for you, you're doing great out there without me. god, i wish that I could do that. ❞

❝ if i could hold you for a minute, darling, i'd go through it again. ❞

❝ i don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch. ❞

❝ i don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush. ❞

❝ and logically, you're the last thing i should have on my mind, but i want you there sometimes. ❞

#rp prompts #rp memes #rp starters #rp sentence starters

[bedofthistles]

Resuscitate

The Coeur De Noir: How do you loose a woman???

Richard: You forget to cherish her

The little white horse went on and on, and Maria began to wonder if she was having delusions. 

It wasn’t entirely impossible that this was some kind of dream, but nevertheless, Maria followed after it. 

With Robin not far behind. 

He did not see the horse, so Maria had no reason to believe it was anything besides her imagination. Maybe that's what happened when you were locked up for too long without air and sunlight. Not that Maria lacked either of those things, but still, she wasn’t getting as much as she used to.

What Maria did not realise, and what you, of course, have already realised, is that this was the mark of a True Moon Princess. The Moon’s familiar, come to guide her directly to the Pearls. We, that is to say you, dear reader, and I, the author, know that those Pearls are mystical and magical and oh so critical to Moonacre Valley’s success or ruination. And, no matter how many different ways the De Noir’s liked to tell the story, none knew the truth of what happened the day the Moon Princess disappeared. 

Heartbroken, the poor girl took her lion, her unicorn, and her pearls before disappearing into the forest, never to be seen again. You knew that, of course, what you did not know was that each and every Moon Princess, every Lord Merryweather, and every Coeur De Noir was doomed to repeat the same incident over and over.

There was a long line of De Noirs who looked just like William De Noir, and plenty of daughters on both sides that bore the resemblance to the Moon Princess, not to mention the countless heartbreakers who carried Sir Wrolf’s bearings. Born far enough apart that no one remembered what they looked like when they came fresh out of the womb, and could not tell when one babe came out a copy of the last! 

That was the thing with tragedies, they tend to bear repeating, hoping, but never succeeding, for a happy ending. 

A Moon Princess that falls in love with a Merryweather. 

A Couer De Noir who loses his daughter to greed. 

A Sir Merryweather, with pride too great to bear. 

But, a chance to repeat history, usually ends poorly for those in the titular roles. 

That was why the Moon had graced Maria Merryweather with Princess-hood. 

Maria, with her autumn hair, instead of golden, and forest eyes instead of ocean. A shorter stature, a younger start, a fresh scene. 

Loveday was bound to fail, her face a mirror image to the original, but Maria was bound to win, her face pure of every past life. 

 So, when the Little White Horse led her through the forest, to the dark and twisting hollow, Maria laughed as she ducked inside. 

“Are you coming, Robin, or are you scared?” She taunted, when Robin did not immediately follow. 

Robin’s wide eyes flickered from the towering tree, back to her own, where she peered at him through the roots. 

“You can hold my hand if you are.”

Robin glared at her, though it lacked any heat, as he trudged in. “I’m not scared, it's just… Haunted.”

Maria scoffed. “You believe in ghosts as well? What next, vampires?” 

“No.” Robin pouted, but followed Maria as she travelled down the tunnel. “You know, there’s a lot of things that are unexplainable.”

“And yet to be explained by science.” Maria flashed him a smile - it was quite condescending, and a bit flirtatious, which just happened to be her flirting style, though she did not know that yet, as Robin was the first person she had ever flirted with! - before she came face to face with a door. “Robin, look at this!” 

“It's a door.” He said, stumped by the existence of such a thing. 

Maria pushed it open, and was surprised by how little effort it took, she sent him a breathless smile over her shoulder. This was an adventure she could get used to. Discovery, not fighting for one’s life! 

The air left Maria as she stepped into the little room, grey with dust, the sunlight dappled the floor in shadows and cast rainbows on the wall when they hit the glass prisms that hung from the ceiling like a disassembled chandelier. 

“Robin, I can't- ooh!” Maria tripped over a stray tree root, which had looped out of the ground just enough to catch her toe. Maria did not fall, as she caught herself on the wall with a single hand. She breathed in relief, as she did not fancy falling flat on her face. 

Robin, however, watched as the stone statue glowed, and the stone beaded necklace that statue wore transformed into glowing pearls. His eyes widened, and while he had in fact, been poised to lurch forward and catch her, he was transfixed. 

Maria straightened, and when her hand returned to her side, the necklace had come with. 

“Maria, the Pearls!” Robin’s face split into a grin, but Maria did not share his mirth.

She examined the pearls, looked back at the statue, and then back to her hand. “They’re quite pretty, aren’t they?” 

“Maria, those are the Moon Pearls, we can brea- I mean-”

But Maria rolled her eyes. “Are you still on that?” 

“Still on- Yes! Maria, you just followed a magical horse to the exact place where the pearls have been this whole time!” 

Maria blinked at him, she had almost forgotten he was crazy. That did put a bit of a damper on things, but Maria could look past it. “Here, help me put them on.”

She held out her hand, but Robin backed away, holding his hands up in warning. “No thanks, don’t really need my heart’s turth to be revealed at the moment! Who knows what will come out of my gob.” 

“Probably nothing intelligent. Fine I’ll do it myself.” And Maria gathered her hair over her shoulders and brought the clasp around her neck. 

They did seem to glisten as they settled over her collarbones, but other than that, they felt like normal pearls to her. No magic. 

“They aren’t revealing my heart, so perhaps they aren’t so magical after all.” Maria smirked and crossed her arms. 

“Maybe you’re too pure hearted, and there’s nothing to reveal.” He said, in an ‘a-ha!’ kind of tone, but Maria’s harsh smirk turned into a gentle smile. 

“Well, come along then, I’m sure there was more to the forest than just this creepy and haunted treehouse you wanted to show me.” Maria held out her hand, and Robin did not hesitate to take it. 

They left the treehouse together, without finding the bridal gown, or the secret entrance that would have lead them to the sea amphitheatre, but they had the pearls, and while only one knew of their importance, Maria had ready proved herself to the most worthy of all Moon Princesses. 

Now, it will do well to remember the exact words of the Moon Princess’ curse. As, clearly, the exacts of the curse have gotten lost in time. But once, many moons ago, the Princess said this: 

Hear me! You have spurned the gifts of Nature, and you shall suffer for it! Nature will wreak her revenge and put a curse upon this valley! One day, a pure heart will walk among you, and if she is not heard, when the 5000th Moon rises from the sea, this valley shall be plunged into eternal darkness! 

Couldn’t have said it better myself! 

But the Moon Princess was clear. She had one condition. 

To hear, and listen. 

☾

The Coeur De Noir tapped his fingers against the table. 

Everyone ate without him, as they had no manners and never waited for their Lord to take the first bite, save two. 

The seat to his left, reserved for his son, and his son alone, and the one to his right, which, without reason, now belonged to the Moon Princess, were empty. 

Not even Dulac had any claim over the seat, and he sat a few chairs down (as he did his best to avoid her and her sound scoldings) as he viciously tore into a leg of… something, the Coeur was never sure why Dulac remained so ravenous with the good food they had, but nevermind that. 

The Coeur De Noir was missing two very important people who were usually always here.

But then, even Robin's friends were missing, and they usually lapped up every little bit of exceptional treatment given due to Robin’s status.

“Pardon.” The Coeur said to no one in particular as he rose from the table and walked off down the hall. No one cared that he had gone off, of course, too busy indulging in their lunches. 

Odile flew to the Coeur’s shoulder as soon as he stood, and he stalked off to the family wing. 

He was lucky, when he stopped himself just before he rounded the final corner, as the boys - what were their names? He knew David, since he was distantly related, but then who wasn’t in the Clan? There were two others, the annoying one and the stupid one, the Ceoeur couldn’t be bothered to remember their actual names - arguing about what they were going to do. 

And the Coeur, who had once been just as sneaky as them in his youth, flattened against the wall so he could eavesdrop. 

“-anything bad, does it?”

“Of course it's bad!” David, the Coeur thought, called out. “She could have escaped!” 

“But why?” That sounded like the stupid one, well not stupid entirely, he just wasn’t the brightest. “She likes it here, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah, as much as a bird likes being in a cage.” That was the annoying one, the Coeur knew because his voice was grating on his old ears even now.

“But, why would Robin go?”

“Maybe she tricked him.” Good David, always the brains. “Found a way to get him to take her out to the woods so she could escape.”

“The woods?” The stupid one. “But, tonight is the full moon! If they’re out in the woods…”

Oh, perhaps not so stupid. 

Why on earth would they go out into the woods-

But the Couer remembered his boy’s longing stares, the way he followed after her like a starving dog, how he stood by her rather than his friends whenever they all gathered, always too close, almost touching but not quite. Then, another memory came to him. He had been looking out over the forest, when a flash of movement caught his eye. The Coeur had turned his head and watched his son willingly do work. Willingly! It took every threat in the world to get Robin to get out of bed, and yet there he was, tending the garden. 

No, the Coeur realised, not tending the garden, harvesting. 

The guards reported to him about how the girl was not eating… 

So, the whole time… 

Lost in his thoughts, the boys had continued on, making plans to go out into the woods to search. The Couer chose to reveal himself then, stepping into the centre of the hall, with a frosty look to his eye that his father always gave him when he was not doing as he ought. 

“So, the girl escaped, has she?” He said coolly, his voice just loud enough to call them to attention.

The boys paled as they whipped around. 

“No!” They chorused. “Not at all! She’s just out on a walk!” The annoying one. 

“With Robin.” The stupid one. 

The other two glared at him, but then Daivd stepped forward, and the Coeur tightened his eyes. 

“Sir, if we may, we would like to go out into the forest to bring them back home before-” David’s mouth pursed before he continued. “Before the curse comes to pass.”

“Denied.” The Coeur said, and the boys began to argue with him right away, but he merely held up his hand. “I shall send my men out to collect them. It was foolish, for them to venture into the forest, but we will get them home safely.” 

The boys relaxed, before volunteering for the mission. 

The Coeur couldn't help but smile, however faintly and hidden by his moustache, Robin had chosen his friends well. “If you think you know where they have gone, you may offer that information now, but I have a more important task.”

They shut up quickly, though David had to elbow the annoying one.

“Should they return, you must send Odile to me.” The Coeur gently nudged her talons until she hopped onto his hand, he held out the bird to them, but they backed away. Good, the Coeur smirked, he had trained her to be a fearsome creature. 

David, of course, stepped forward and offered his arm, the leather of his jacket protection enough.

“Click your tongue twice, and she will know to take flight.” The Coeur instructed, before turning on his heel and marching back to the dining hall. The boys trailed behind him. 

As he looked down over the dining hall, he did little more than clear his throat for their attention. 

“Lunch is over! It seems our Moon Princess has disappeared into the forest-”

“Father!” 

And everything stopped. 

Across the Hall, stepping into the torchlight, was his once most beloved child. “My daughter.” He said, rather pathetically, as he was hit with the years of grief and anger he had suffered all over again.

“Where is Maria Merryweather?”

She was just like Odile, a vicious creature with talons sharp enough to kill, and she stood with hardened eyes. The Coeur once believed she was too soft to be his child, but he learned quickly enough what a proper De Noir she was. 

The Coeur did not want to admit that he had lost the Princess. Not that he had, of course, the truth was she and his son were out galavanting through the forest. 

“Yes…” He said, uncertain as all eyes looked to him. “About that.”

☾

The pearls had a lovely weight to them, the shorter strand sat perfectly at the hollow of her throat, and the longer strand hung just below her breastbone, but somehow didn’t bounce with each step. They were lovely, more lovely than any of the costume jewellery Ms. Heliotrope allowed her to wear, and Maria loved them. 

“Do you think I would be allowed to keep them?” 

“No, you should throw them into the sea.” Robin said, as he had been eyeing them warily all afternoon, waiting for the curse to come flying out of the beads, or some other horrible fate, like the string tightening around her throat until she couldn’t breathe. They were beautiful, and against her creamy skin sat beautifully, but Robin knew they were no good. They were the pearls, after all, that had wrought destruction! It was no wonder he didn’t trust them. 

He had half a mind to cut them from her neck and throw them into the sea himself. 

But Maria wouldn’t let him. 

She simply rolled her eyes. “I mean, I did find them, but they must belong to someone.”

“Trust me, Maria, no one lives in that tree.” 

Maria stopped in her tacks and twisted her mouth into a grimace as she looked at Robin. “You really don’t like these pearls, do you?”

“Of course not! They’ve caused us nothing but misery!” 

Maria rolled her eyes. “It is not these silly pearls, but pride that curses the valley! Honestly, look at yourselves! De Noirs versus Merryweather, and what for? Because of a fairy tale? You and I get along just fine! That in and of itself should tell you the long history between our families is nothing but worthless pride!” Maria shook her head, but stopped. “You said to throw them into the sea?” 

Robin nodded his head. 

“Very well, take me to the sea, and I’ll dispose of them.”

“Really?”

“If it makes you feel better, yes, though it's quite a shame to lose such beautiful pearls.”

Robin smiled in relief. “One day, Princess, I’ll get you a strand of pearls far superior to those.” 

“We’ll see about that.”

☾

“What do you mean you don’t know where she is!” Sir Benjamin shouted. 

“I meant exactly what I said!” The Coeur De Noir replied. “What I do know is we must find her!” 

“We?” Loveday and sir Benjamin cried out incredulously. 

“Yes! Tonight is the night of the 5000th Moon!” And The Coeur De Noir, for the first time in his life, looked fearful. “The Curse will come, and they will be in danger!” 

Sir Benjamin shook his head, filled with unadulterated rage, as he launched himself at the Coeur, Loveday and Henry were able to take hold of his arms and hold him back before he physically assaulted the Coeur De Noir. “Danger? Danger! It is your fault she is in danger! You who stole her-!”

“Actually, I had no hand in her kidnapping!” The Ceour admitted. “It was my son’s plan.”

Loveday blinked, as she put two and two together. “Robin?” 

In her mind, Robin had not grown up, he had stayed bright-eyed and loose toothed and chubby-cheeked, but it had been ten years for all of them. And Robin was a man now. 

A man capable of great evil just like her father. 

He had done this? Her little bird? Who could not go to sleep unless she sang to him goodnight? 

What kind of monster had he become while she was away? 

“Yes! And now they are in danger! Please, we must go at once! No one can be in the valley this night, and yet they are!” The Couer called out, and Loveday (all in attendance for that matter) were surprised to witness the single tear that had snuck past his careful watch and fell down into his beard. 

“We must away.” Loveday said she lifted a gentle hand to her Sir Benjamin’s cheek and tugged until he was looking at her, and not glaring at her father. “We must act! Before moonrise!”

☾

Robin led Maria down to the beach, it was hard to reach, as they had to climb down the cliffside, but they managed. It would have been easier without Maria’s dress, but what was the young lady to do? Strip down to her under things?

Once on the sandy shore, Maria actually took off her shoes and let the sand cover her feet. She gasped in delight at the warmth and the strange sensation of the millions of grains that trickled like water down her toes.

“Have you ever been to the ocean?” Robin asked, and Maria shook her head. “Well, maybe we can come back tomorrow and spend… the whole day here.”

Maria whipped around to face him and the almost shy smile he wore. “I would like that, Robin.”

“Good, now go get rid of those pearls!” 

Maria chuckled as she shook her head. Unbelievable! Such fine jewels, only to be wasted! 

Maria came to the edge of the water, and let the seafoam lap at her ankles, she giggled in delight as she let go of her skirt to unclasp the necklace. The hem of her dress quickly soaked, and the pearls fell into her waiting grasp. 

She pressed them softly to her lips, before tossing them out as far as they would go. 

Then, Maria watched as the pearls sank beneath the waves only to rise again. She furrowed her brow as the sea brought them back to her. 

She turned back, to face him, but he seemed just as confused as she. 

Maria tried once more, and again and again, until the sky had turned pink, and then blue with twilight. She plopped down in the waves, uncaring if she got wet, as she examined the strange pearls. 

“Do you believe me now?” Robin asked, as he squatted next to her. 

“No. They float, so what?”

“Maria, pearls don’t float! If they did, they’d be lining the shore!” 

Maria pushed him and he fell back into the sand, but he quickly scrambled back up. 

“Well, I can’t get rid of them, maybe I shouldn’t.” 

In her ear, Robin gasped sharply, before shaking her shoulder. “Look!” 

Maria tore her gaze away from the pearls to find just what Robin was telling her to look at.

“Oh! I’ve never seen the moon so large! It's beautiful.” 

“Maria! The moon is going to destroy us! The curse is coming true!” 

Maria huffed as she struggled to stand in her heavy dress. “Please, Robin! I know you’re smarter than this! You can’t honestly believe this- this-”

“Maria!” 

But, Robin was too late, the wave came crashing into her, and pulled her down. 

Robin was left on the beach, alone, with the Moon growing closer and closer.

☾

Wrolf was a dog.

He was a great dog!

Only, he wasn’t actually a dog. 

He was a mystical companion, a terrifying and rare black lion! 

But, as the magic faded from the valley, so did his magic. Wrolf didn’t mind being a dog. It was quite nice, and people weren’t as afraid of him. 

He was able to stay inside this nice big house, safe from rain, he was well loved, and oh - oh! - scratched right behind the ear, and sometimes a solid belly rub- 

Well, ahem, Wrolf had grown used to a life of comfort. 

He was rather happy, but every once in a while, some of that old magic returned, and he sprung to new life. 

It had happened, some ten years ago, and it happened once more, a month ago. 

It was as if he had woken up from a long sleep and filled with brand new purpose. 

Not brand new, no, as it was always the same. 

To love the Moon Princess.

It was easy, because no matter who the Moon Princess was, she was always kind, and smelled just as she was supposed to, and he always felt the most loyal to her. 

Renewed, Wrolf waited to meet the new Moon Princess, but she never came. 

Eventually, Wrolf went back to sleep, realising she must still be far away. That happened sometimes, and it would take a few years for her to come back into his life. This was just one of those times. 

But, this was different.

Wrolf had never felt more like himself than he had these past few weeks. That is to say, he never felt more like the ferocious lion he was meant to be, rather than the lapdog he had become. 

The old him, back from the dead, ready to serve his princess. 

Wrolf was sharper, and he could sense the distress from the man who took care of him. But, it wasn’t until the day of the 5000th Moon that Wrolf knew he needed to act. 

Rising from his bed, he raced out of the Manor, his paws carrying him farther than he had gone in a long time. 

Back to the place where it all began.

☾

“Maria!” Robin called again and again, he charged into the waves with little forethought, he had simply thrown his heavy jacket back onto the shore along with his hat, and dove in. 

But it was dark, and the waves were relentless, and he was losing hope. 

“Maria!” He shouted, only to get a mouthful of salty sea water. He spit it out and dove back in, opening his eyes despite the sting. It was too dark, however, and she was wearing a blue dress! 

He never felt stupider, from now on she was only allowed to wear red and white, and if this ever happened again, he would at least be able to find her.

Robin broke through the waves to get a fresh breath of air before going back under. He had swum past the worst and most brutal of the waves, and they no longer crashed into him, but the farther he went out with no sign of Maria filled him rising horror.

Robin kicked his legs, which burned from exertion, and held the air in his lungs as he refused to breath in the saltwater. The moon, so large in the sky, did seem to brighten the water a bit, so it was not pitch back. Robin was almost grateful to the Moon Princess for casting her curse. But, without the curse, they would not be in this predicament, would they? 

No, without the curse, it was quite possible that they would have lived in peace. 

That Loveday and Benjamin would have been married without issue. 

That the Merryweathers and De Noirs could have been great allies. 

That he and Maria could have spent their childhood growing up together rather than despising each other. 

As Robin continued to dive deeper and deeper, his vision began to blacken, though he did not realise it, as his world as so dark to begin with, then, with very little notice, Robin’s eyes did close, and his body, which he had pushed to the point of death, ceased moving, and Robin floated lifelessly in the sea. 

Maria was back on the shore.

The pearls, gone, and a horse was by her side. 

Maria had dismounted quickly, as she tried to find Robin, only to find him… not there. 

“Robin?” She called, and suddenly, he bobbed to the surface. 

Maria’s lungs seized, and she felt strangled. She called his name again and again, but he did not move. He moved, of course, with the waves that tossed him to and fro, but he did not lift his head, or row his arms, or kick his feet to get back to her.

Maria ran back into the sea, the water immediately weighing her skirt down, but she could not stop, she had to get him, lie him on the sand and make him breath.

The horse returned to her side, suddenly it was easier to move, and she cut through the water like a fish. Maria wrapped her arms around Robin’s sodden middle and hoisted him back to the shore. The water aided her, in its own strange way. It remained enough so Maria could drag his weightless body, but drew back, so she was not battling the current, the push and pull. 

Once she had drug him out as fall as she could, she rolled him onto his back, and pressed her ear to his heart. 

It still beat, but just so. It was faint, very faint. 

“Wake up, Robin, please, wake up!” Her lip began to wobble, and she held his face in her hands, cold to the touch and covered in the grains of sand that had once filled her with so much joy. “Please. Listen to me, please, you promised you wouldn’t hurt me! But- but if you don’t wake up, that will hurt me more than anything!” 

But Robin did not listen, and Maria could not stop the racking sobs that overtook her body. 

They started softly enough, her eyes, already soggy from the waves, did not need much more help to spill the saltwater her own body produced for such moments such as these. Then, her breathing began to shake, each one sucked in through her mouth, and out again, ragged and uncontrollable. Her shoulders shook, and her breaths turned into low wails, and her whole body was crying. She recognized this cry.

This pathetic, all-consuming cry. It came upon her when the ones she loved died. 

It happened when her mother passed (Maria had no memories of her mother, only the grief she remembered as her small body trembled) and again when her father was murdered. 

It was hard not to let the sobs consume her, and it was the completely wrong time to realise just how much she loved Robin. 

She pressed her forehead to his, she felt his shallow breaths on her lips until they stopped completely.

“Ro-?”

“Maria!” 

Maria raised her head, and there, coming out from the mouth of a cave, was the Coeur De Noir, as well as two other people she did not know. 

Maria threw her arms around Robin protectively, pulling his body into her lap. 

“How dare you!” She cried. “This is all your fault!” 

The three of them stopped, and while she did not recognise any of them outside of the Coeur De Noir, it was not hard to see her father’s face in her Uncles. And the Coeur’s in the woman’s. 

She had no doubt they were her Uncle, and the old Moon Princess. 

“Maria-” One of them began, but she would not have it. 

“You perpetuate old myths as fact! You live in fantasy! Pearls and Moon Princesses! It has destroyed you! Maybe there is a curse, but it has already come to pass!” She drew in a shaking breath, tears still streamed down her cheeks, but she was angry, perhaps angrier than the first ever Moon Princess. “You are all surrounded by darkness! The petty need to see one family destroyed in favour of the other!” 

The man who must have been her Uncle stepped forward. “Maria-”

“No! Don’t you dare come near me!” She tightened her hold around Robin’s shoulder, smushing his body to hers. “I have heard the stories! Of how you were supposed to marry the Coeur’s daughter! But you turned her away! And- and now look…”

“Maria, who is that?” Loveday asked, because who else could she have been? 

No one now. Maria thought, not a stupid boy wearing feathers, or the son of a lord, or even a horrible kidnapper. 

“You should all be ashamed of yourselves!” She cried out, and bowed her head to Robin’s, and rocked gently. 

Sir Benjamin breathed deeply, he looked to Loveday, and held her hand in his. 

“Coeur De Noir… I would like permission to marry your daughter.” 

“What?” Loveday popped, the question completely unexpected. 

“Maria is right, we have been blinded by foolish pride. And while we have yet to meet, I am afraid she has a greater understanding of my character than she has a right to.”

Maria sniffled, as she tucked her chin onto Robin’s shoulder. 

The Coeur De Noir, pursing his lips, looked to the young girl who had come in and spun Castle Black on its head. “Only if my daughter may forgive me my hatred.” 

Loveday ran to her father’s side and enveloped him in the first hug either had received in the past ten years. “Oh father, you have so much more love in you than you know!”

“Then… yes! Yes, I bless this union! In fact, I bless every Merryweather and De Noir interaction! From here on out, there shall be no more war! No more hatred, and… no more pride.” 

The Coeur De Noir reached out and shook Sir Benjamin’s hand. 

Maria squeezed her eyes, and once again missed the glowing light that came as a result of magic, as the Moon’s brilliant glow burst out across the valley. 

All she knew was one moment, Robin lay motionless in her arms, and the next, he had wrapped a single arm around her waist.

“Were you worried, Princess?” 

Maria tore herself away from him. “But-! How-?” 

“Magic.” He said teasingly, despite it being the truth. 

Robin hadn’t been all the way dead, as Maria assumed, only mostly- oh nevermind. 

His heart rate had slowed, and his breathing came so incrementally, that Maria could not feel it. Of course, if it had not been for the breaking of the curse, and the Moon returning order and all magic to Moonacre Valley, he would have been a goner! 

“Robin!” Loveday called, and she ran to his side. 

She knelt down on the other side, and touched his cheek. 

“Oh look, you’re still alive.” Robin remarked. “Hello.”

“Hello, Little Bird.” She said, and kissed his forehead. 

The Coeur De Noir came and knelt by Robin’s head. “What in hell’s name happened?”

Robin shrugged. “Ask the Moon Princess, she was the one I was saving.”

The three adults turned to look at her, but before Maria was finished rolling her eyes there was a mighty roar. 

“Hell’s teeth!” Sir Benjamin cried as a black lion ran out onto the beach. 

He bounded forward, a bit late, and came to rest besides Maria nonetheless, purring mightily in his throat as he pressed his head into her side. 

“Come on, Princess, you have to believe in it now!” Robin said, but Maria scoffed. 

“Black lions are not magical! They have an abundance of melanism!”

“Did you get rid of the pearls?” Robin asked, he was still lying in Maria’s lap, and yes he was more than well enough to get up, but you see, he didn’t want to. 

Maria whipped her head around the beach, looking to see if the pearls would wash up somewhere, but there was no sign of them. Perhaps she had done her job, and they had been returned to the sea. 

“Yes, I think so.”

“Good, let's go ho-” Robin blinked. He lifted himself up onto his elbows. 

He was going to say, let's go home, but remembered that Castle Black was not her home. 

If anything, it had been her prison.

And, well, there was no reason for her to be there any longer, was there? 

“Yes, Maria, let’s do go home.” Sir Benjamin said. “You have- you have no idea how long I’ve been trying to find you.”

Maria’s face softened considerably as she looked at Sir Benjamin. 

“I- I wanted so badly to meet you, I’m- I’m sorry I wasn’t able to come to you sooner.” And Sir Benjamin began to leak. 

Maria lifted herself out of the sand, using the lion’s back to help her stand, and found herself being tightly held by her Uncle. “It’s nice to meet you, too, Uncle.” At long last, Sir Benjamin was able to hold his niece.

The lion began encircling them, rubbing his head against them and purring loudly. 

“Well there we are then, nothing more to be done.” He said as he pulled back and smiled down at her. 

Sir Benjamin was lying of course, there was much to be done! But, there’s still one more chapter, isn’t there? 

#introducing: wrolf! #anyway go to the comments to see my complete dissertation about the curse #i have thought #moonacreweek2023 #the secret of moonacre

[bestgrishaversequotes]

OFFICIAL LIST OF QUOTES FOR THE TOURNAMENT (under the cut)

if any of these quotes catch your eye, please feel free to submit propaganda!! not all of the quotes here were submissions, I picked out fandom faves that didn't get submitted plus one or two personal favourites, so if you see your favourite quote here go ahead and rant in my inbox about why you love it!!

all propaganda will be published with the polls

quotes crossed out have been eliminated; quotes in bold are still in the tournament!

Hug the goat, shut the hell up

He knew the look of a man defending his home with nothing but a rock in his hand

What is infinite? The universe and the greed of men

I'm sorry it took me so long to see you, Alina. But I see you now

Make me your villain

She's everything, you dumb son of a bitch

Because I am a pretty thing and a soldier all the same

Anything worth doing always starts as a bad idea

You're my flag. You're my nation

When people say impossible, they usually mean improbable

I keep to a strict diet of ill-advised enthusiasm and heartfelt regret

I know metal

I am not ruined. I am ruination

I make it a policy never to seduce anyone prettier than I am

That's weakness. That's a man afraid

They had an ordinary life, full of ordinary things

Joost had two problems: the moon and his moustache

We'll be kings and queens, Inej

My darling Inej, treasure of my heart

Matthias was dreaming again. Dreaming of her

What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?

The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true

I protect my investments

My Wraith would counsel mercy

My ghost won't associate with your ghost

I'm going to pay someone to burn my kruge for me

What bound them together?

We could wake them up

No. Not just girls

I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept from this oath

Stay in Ketterdam. Stay with me

I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker

I would come for you

Meeting you was a disaster

This action will have no echo

I recommend a cane

We do not take orders from Kerch street rats with dubious haircuts

This was the kiss he'd been waiting for

Someone I didn't want to lose

I'm right here, Father

When the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway

I can read to him

How about I push you in the canal and we see if you know how to swim?

Is my tie straight?

Call me Grisha. Call me zowa. Call me death, if you like

Yuri Vedenen, if you upset my wife again, I will kill you where you stand

Why did it matter to him what became of Ravka?

A king never kneels, brother

My ruthless Zoya, I'll load the gun myself

Because I'm fairly certain I'm hallucinating, and in my dreams you're much nicer

But she was already a queen

You are strong enough to survive the fall

It had the unfortunate effect of making him want to untie it

You list off atrocities as though I'm meant to feel shame for them

Maybe the gift of being human is that we do not give up

I loved him and he loved me

Because I am greedy for the sight of you

There is nothing in it worth loving

As my friend, as my general, as my bride

This is what love does

I will leave this world on a hammer blow

Then I will love her from my grave

None of this had been fated; none of it foretold

I will always seek to make it summer for you

#the initial matchups will be randomised!! #and if you don't recognise some of these quotes: don't worry‚ in the tournament each quote will have a longer passage surrounding it #these are just the short versions #grishaverse #six of crows #shadow and bone #mayhem talks #updates

[hermirrorsimage]

steven universe theory megathread

so i’ve been rewatching steven universe & will update as i go. i had the idea to do this several episodes in but it became like my nightly thing to watch SU before bed so i’m at like season 3 now.. but anyways.

i wanna preface this by saying that i genuinely believe SU season 1 is entirely different & had a way different outcome than season 2 takes it, to the point where i’m going to regard it as a different show. as it stands now, most of my theories come from a season 1 outlook. i genuinely believe season 1 is its own, self-contained story that has no ending & instead can only be theorized on. i believe season 2 onward as somewhat of a spin-off that aligns SOMETIMES with season 1′s plan for the story, but overall takes it in a severely different direction. not sure the reasoning why, but from the looks of it & the theories i’ve come up with, it seems to have taken it in a darker/grim look & CN might not have liked that. or that a white woman was handling topics such as colonization & essentially a race war :) maybe that’s me.

general notes:

- although steven is the titular character, garnet pushes the story forward. the real stories lies in the gem’s backgrounds, & the only one doing that really is garnet. she’s the one that mainly sends them on missions, with a vague plan of what to do.

although she’s funneled into the leader archetype in season 2, it wasn’t where her character was meant to go. the amazing dynamic between the gems is that they’re all rough, stranded, & flawed in their own ways. garnet’s being (& it isn’t really said plainly enough) is that she’s sporadic, enigmatic, you can’t tell what she’s thinking, and she just possesses knowledge. they might use her like a compass but she is not meant to be the leader. she’s made into that role especially after we first meet sardonyx & that storyline plays out, but it ruins the dynamic. the dynamic of them being stranded, far from home, without their true leader, and that they don’t necessarily mesh well, but they come together for steven. that’s where the powerful storytelling lies in this show. i didn’t mean to take this bullet this route, but it needs to be said. anyways,

- garnet’s future vision

before it’s ever mentioned to us, and before we really get a handle on the dynamic, garnet is seen as this dauntless leader setting the team out on missions. as we come to learn her, we find out about future vision, and that’s what the show hinges on, i believe.

early season 1, the gems are just entirely out running quests & chores, all at the behest of garnet, who never shows where she gets her information. then we’re introduced to future vision.

through this lens, it’s safe to say that the quests she has the gems completing are all through the followings of future vision. look back on season 1 & you’ll wonder just where all the gems they’re fighting came from, how they knew about them, and quests such as the moon spire, the desert glass, etc. vs. season 2 & 3 where these new gem monsters are sparse & now only focused on expanding what’s already been established, such as the forced fusions, the diamonds, peridot, & lapis.

season 2 ruins this, and turns future vision into some sort of gimmick, with garnet plainly stating “i knew you would do that.” & i think at one point genuinely saying “my future vision told me” vs. how we were introduced to it, as flowing rivers & opportunities. you can argue that she just knows steven, or steven’s possibilities all mainly end up in the same way, but it’s too jarring & honestly it just fits my fantasy to blame it on the writers. what i will say though, is what feels like natural growth is garnet being more open, more personable, and more emotional. that i understand & genuinely enjoy, such as the random moments she shows her love for steven.

- season 2 ruination

like i said, it seems like season 1 is self-contained. season 1 establishes many old locations & characters & an overarching problem. the gems are fighting other gem monsters, corrupted versions of their old selves, while steven develops his powers. then it’s revealed that homeworld is still interested in the earth colony & we’re introduced to peridot & lapis, this opens up an entirely new conflict & location. i feel like partway into season 1 is where things branch off, although i feel like the jail break finale is a perfect way to end things & miiiiight’ve been what the season was leading up to anyways (garnet being a fusion is hinted at in like the beginning episodes), it still feels like the scope was lowered IMMENSELY. from here, there’s many options. a second war, steven becoming more powerful than the gems combined, the introduction of another friendly gem (not necessarily bismuth), etc. but it feels like it was ushered into a different age with season 2 & i dislike it because i think from 2 onward, the cringe content skyrockets.

- organic matter

i think, like future vision, this is one thing that the entire show hinges on & treats very importantly. steven is part gem, part organic matter, and he’s able to fuse with connie, and also heal her. organic matter is treated very sensitively in the show, and the episode i’m on now, (the centipeedle healing episode in season 3) shows steven repairing his torn stuffed animal, despite it not being organic matter. this can kinda go off in 2 ways, one weird one being M.C. bear bear IS made of organic matter, whether uncannily or just “technically the MATERIAL is organic”, or that steven is just able to heal things he sees broken & repairing them to his image. i don’t like this at all. i think steven’s handling of organic matter is something they wanted to open up later, such as his fingers turning into actual cats & fusing with connie, but was ditched entirely. you could say this has something to do with steven being a fusion (i forgot that entire scene tbh) but i think it was going to take a more darker look onto it. also steven being a fusion is pretty dark & pretty metal. but i mean it could’ve been darker as in like more grim. something weird.

- the government

i’ve been thinking more about immersion & IPs, & if you impose SU on the real world, obviously the government would know about the homeworld aircrafts, melon/mask island, & the gems in general, but they don’t. you could “it’s a cartoon” it away but i genuinely want to get into it

my theory is that beach city is some sort of ghost town, untouched by the government or, alternatively, allowed free reign, as in the government doesn’t interfere, and that would explain why mayor dewey is incompetent & mostly does nothing all day, he’s just a fake mayor there to save face, just to sit in a position so people know that beach city has a mayor & therefore a government system in place.

one fun thought is that the ronaldo “snake people” storyline (have no idea why they even thought it was ok to do that) was foreshadowing—cause they LOVE to do that—that the government might be run by gems, deep undercover, or some shit. idk. it has holes it’s just a fun what-if

alternatively, what’s really happening is the government in SU works differently than our own & is nothing like our preconceived notion of what our modern government WOULD do, but i think it’s worth pointing out. i really respect that the show doesn’t bother giving an excuse & is just operating on a “just go with it” but i love thinking about the ins & outs, and this was one of them.

i’ll continue to update this every session i have that ends in theorycrafting

[goldlightwriting]

The Roast of Thresh

I've seen your type before. I know your gimmick. You're a talker. Your entire "strategy" in every fight is to get in your opponent's head and under their skin. You poke and prod at emotional insecurities, mock them with past failures, prey on their paranoia by skulking about in the shadows... But I see right through you.

I mean, you used to be a monk of the Blessed Isles, except you were never particularly devoted, were you? The other monks, they saw it, too. They always knew you were a bit of a creep, but they could never find a valid enough reason to just kick you out. So, instead, they stuffed you in a dark corner to watch over a vault full of dusty old relics. Kind of a dick move, I'll admit, but then you had to go and prove all their suspicions about you right. Left to stew in your bitterness and resentment, you started indulging all your darkest, most twisted fantasies... The ones you could get away with, anyway.

When a mad king came along, you immediately turned on your order and forsook your duty, leading him to the Waters of Life. Not for favor, not even for survivors, but out of petty spite and resentment. You caused the Ruination for the most trivial of reasons, and where did that get you?

Oh yes, you say that it gave you power. You became the Chain Warden, a jailer of souls... But in truth, you were just another prisoner. Your soul, like everyone else's, was bound to the Black Mist, unable to leave for a few fleeting moments. You took to capturing and torturing other spirits, reveling in their misery, because it was the only way you could distract yourself from your own.

Oh, but you're free now, aren't you? Congratulations, you've escaped the curse of the Black Mist. And what are you doing with that newfound freedom? The exact same thing that you've been doing for the last several centuries. You're still just roaming around, capturing and torturing souls. Why? Because it's all you know anymore. It's the only method you can think of to feed your over-inflated ego.

I mean, you like to think you duped everyone, don't you? Viego, Gangplank, the Sentinels... You like to think you manipulated them into helping you get this far, right? That's not the way I see it. The way I see it, you didn't have any other choice. You NEEDED their help, because you're just too weak to accomplish anything on your own. That's always been the case, Thresh.

You're not some grand puppet-master. You're not a demon. You're not a monster. You're just a sad, pathetic little man skulking around in the dark, pretending to be so much bigger than you actually are. Even your new appearance belies your true nature: that at the end of the day, you're just some guy. Your shallow tricks and mind games work well on the emotionally vulnerable, but you're soon going to find that not everyone on Runeterra is so susceptible.

There are things on Runeterra far, far worse than you, Thresh. If I were you, I'd crawl back into the Mist where you belong.

#Thresh #League of Legends #Roast

[spacebetweenheartbeats]

to all the boys i loved before: two

he was my classmate. he was one of my best friends. he was also my first love - still is.

dear ayush bhatt - where do i start with you?

i will do my best to write about him, to make you know and love him as much as i did, but forgive me if i fail to do so. he shines as bright as the sun - and i might be unable to capture his brilliance with my words alone.

i met him seven years ago, in fourth grade, but we only talked two years later, as two ambitious sixth graders hoping to achieve great things in this world. despite belonging to the same section, and the same friend group, we'd never talked before. shocking and unbelievable, but true.

we sat together at school, and we quickly became the best of friends; we were both witty, shared a lot of interests and i thought he was one of the most charming people i'd ever met - still is. i'll never get over how quickly he wormed his way into my heart, even if as a friend.

he quickly became my best friend - he was smart, and kind and was willing to listen. he probably didn't understand much as to why i was so worried about the way i looked or my diet at age eleven, but he'd listen. and that's what i wanted. i wasn't looking to be judged or given advice, i just wanted someone who'd let me ramble for hours.

somewhere between the shared lunch hour and the whispered conversations to avoid being caught by the teachers, i fell in love with him.

if you've ever heard the quote - 'i fell in love with him the way you fall asleep; suddenly, and then all at once' - it would be apt for my situation at the time.

i don't even know how he wormed his way into my heart, but he did. i'm willing to bet it wasn't even that hard for him - he probably just smiled at me the way he always did, like we had a secret nobody else knew, and i fell.

i kept quiet throughout the year, of course - it was 6th grade, and everybody was confessing to their crushes. if he had rejected me, i don't quite think i could have dealt with the fallout and the ruination of a friendship i held so close to my heart.

and then we got shuffled, and we stopped talking.

we both made new friends, and our promises of remaining friends and eating lunch with each other and exchanging books soon fell by the wayside. we drifted apart - while we still said hi and exchanged small talk, our previous closeness had been eroded. he had new female friends, i had new male ones.

it was ok. i dealt with it the way you'd deal with a handicap - by ignoring it and working your life around it. i stopped going down shared corridors, choosing to go by the longer path - stopped going to the basketball grounds because i knew he's going be there, excelling as he always did at basketball. i hid away in the library, or in corners of the school nobody frequented.

in 2020, i made the decision that i would put him behind in my past and leave him as nothing more than a good memory. and then the lockdown hit.

the lockdown in india made it a lot easier to strengthen that decision. there were online classes, and we didn't see or talk to each other during that two year period. for all purposes, ayush bhatt and mira harris were no longer, and had never been anything.

when schools reopened for tenth grade, he wasn't the first thought on my mind. he was maybe the fiftieth or sixtieth, no one's counting. and then i saw him at school, and it hurt.

he'd grown taller - before, i was taller than him, and always made fun of him for that - and while his height changed, his smile hadn't. it was still beautiful, and it still bewitched me and made my heart ache for the things and time i'd lost.

i saw him around after that - we assumed the relationship of two acquaintances who were friendly enough with each other. every time i saw him, it would feel like somebody kicked me in the gut and the air had left my lungs and i'd have to start taking deeper breaths because i didn't want to cry in front of him.

i didn't have to worry about that after a while - the board exams happened, and we stopped talking completely. no time to - we were constantly studying, and revising and trying to do our best. we both did well, of course - he scored a 100 in math and 93.8% overall, and i got 94%. and now i've left school for fiitjee (derogatory), and he stayed back at school.

where are we now?

i know you probably expect us to have stopped talking completely. this is supposed to be a post about the one who got away, a boy i used to love before and miss to my heart's content.

but we haven't.

we still talk, over emails. ridiculous, but true - it takes nearly two weeks for him to respond to any of my mails, but he does reply. we talk about our lives - four years ago, i used to know a lot of things about him. i know that he got into playing chess, got sucked into the iit dream, and got a girlfriend. now, he knows quite a lot about me; my depression, dislike for MPC and the little things that make my life worth living.

i don't think he knows he's one of them.

i love him even now. he'll never know i loved him, or still do - to him, i will be a casual friend he drifted away from, and nothing more than that.

he's a little like the sun. he shines so brightly, i can't even look at him without flinching - and he's not mine to belong to, because the sun belongs to nobody. i don't regret any moment of it - i'd do it, live 2018 all over again if god let me.

maybe i will meet him in person again. maybe in another universe, i'll fall just as hard as i did in this one.

i love you. i'll find you in another universe.

#desi #desi teen #desiblr #desi tumblr #crushes #i have a crush #unrequited feelings #unrequited crush #unrequited affection #mine #to all the boys i loved before

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter - Monday, May 23rd

Buffy: But I knew ... what was right. I don't have that any more. I don't understand. I don't know how to live in this world if these are the choices. If everything just gets stripped away. I don't see the point. I just wish that... (tearfully) I just wish my mom was here.

~~The Gift~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Chaos's Advocate (Gen, T) by NAOA

Elfin Hands 2 – Sharing Is A Good Thing (alt!Cordelia/alt!Willow/OC, T) by CSM_Scriptator

How It Ended (Buffy/Spike, T) by sabershadowkat

“THIS JUST STOPPED BEING FUNNY !” (Cordelia/Willow, E) by CSM_Scriptator

[Chaptered Fiction]

The Slayer and the Vampire Chapter 18 (Buffy/Spike, PG) by violettathepiratequeen

Willing Slave Chapter 7 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Sigyn

Possessed Chapter 13 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Brooke724

Unforgivable Chapter 12 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Jws1993

After the Deluge Chapter 21 and 22 (Buffy/Spike, R) by GillO

Unforeseeable Paths Chapter 3 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Axell

it's not how i thought it would be Chapter 3 (Faith/Buffy, E) by chasingfictions

Vampires, Witches and Blackheart Chapter 3 (Faith/Buffy, E) by Aragorn_II_Elessar

[Images, Audio & Video]

PODCAST: Into The Woods S5 E10 (Buffy and the Art of Story Podcast) by lisalilly

Art: Do you like my mask isn’t it pretty by Soft_Grape1928

Art: BTVS “Every Outfit” “Bad Girls” part 1 Xx by whatshisfaceblogs

[Fandom Discussions]

I know my take on Willow and Tara in season 6 is not really popular but... by confusedguytoo

Willow's character by girl4music

The classic Buffy comics by oveliagirlhaditright

I actually love that Anya kind of represents this whole neurodivergence that many of us struggle with by ruined-ruination

Script stuff from This Year’s Girl that makes me !!!! by thisyearsgirl3

Spike and Buffy in Becoming pt2 by silvermars

Buffy’s boyfriends by sunnydale-summers

Favorite Xander by momsopposed2theoccult

My love-hate relationship with Suprise and Innocence by sunnydale-summers

Listening to Fear was perhaps the hardest hitting episode yet by theowritesfiction

Fanfiction recommandation by multiple posters

The Buffy Reddit hates Angel by Angel6

Tara by englishghosts

I don't agree w SMG that s6 is bad because it isn't true to Buffy's character by plasticeuropa

Spuffy or Bangel... who’s the best couple? by lottieflimflam

Did Buffy ever travel or take vacations? by CandyLove9

Wesley is the watcher at the start of the series. How far do the Scoobies get with him? by royallex

seeing red by Andsoitgoes5

Is Angel good? by EmergencyStatus3684

Once More, With Feeling by OldWhiteManSaysOnTV

Gays here me out: Xander and Spike by ConnerKent5985

Is there any version of Buffy and Xander that could have worked in season seven? by ConnerKent5985

The older I get.... by ConnerKent5985

Join the editor team :)

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

#buffy #btvs #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #ats #angel #angel the series

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Pomegranate Ink: XI

Series Synopsis: Unable to heal but willing to fight, with a fiancé in Kyoto and a last name that looms over everything you do, you accept an offer to study at Tokyo Jujutsu Tech. What you did not know was that your salvation and your ruination alike would soon join you at the school, neatly wrapped in the form of a boy followed by death.

Chapter Synopsis: In wake of your recent recommendation and newfound ability to heal, you have to make a choice that does not necessarily please everyone around you.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Yuta Okkotsu × Female Reader

Chapter Word Count: 5.8k

Content Warnings: angst, misogyny, naoya zenin, forbidden relationships, canon-typical violence, character death, original characters included

A/N: consider this an epilogue to jjk vol 0

“So you’re giving up fighting, right?”

You stared at your phone in confusion, brow furrowed. What your father was saying made no sense; you had expected his first words when you told him of your feat to be congratulatory, to be awed of your prowess. But he was dull and clinical, speaking with a detached tone, as if you were less a daughter and more a fascinating test subject.

“Uh, what?” you said. “No way! I just got recommended for Grade 1 sorcerer status! Why would I give all of that up?”

“I’ve been doing research into our family’s line, ever since you proved to be so utterly unable to heal even a scratch. It’s your dependence on Dissection that’s bringing you down.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you said

“Dissection is a crutch of sorts. You shouldn’t need to see your patient’s weak spots in order to heal them — the overwhelming strength of Composition will heal any weaknesses, both those you are aware of and those you are not. Dissection is used at first, by lesser members of the clan, in order to acquaint oneself with the anatomy of a human. But when was the last time you saw me using it? I don’t. I haven’t used it in years.”

“I’m not really sure what you mean,” you said. “I thought you’d be happy for me. I brought somebody back to life!”

“And I’m not quite certain how you did that. You’re not listening to what I’m saying, Y/N — your cursed energy is being wasted on your technique. You can’t heal while you fight, and you can’t fight while you heal. The only way that you reviving Okkotsu makes sense is if you tapped into some greater reserve of cursed energy that was not yours to begin with.”

So your victory was not exactly your own. You resolved to speak to Gojo about this as soon as you could, so that you could figure out what you had drawn upon. You had a sense that he knew, or at least had his suspicions.

“I have to make a choice, then? But Kaito said I was the first sorcerer to have an equal aptitude for fighting and healing,” you said with a frown.

“Firstly, Kaito’s always been full of shit, so why would you believe him? Secondly, he’s right, but that’s a dramatic way of saying it. It’s true that you have an equal aptitude for fighting and healing, which is exceedingly rare — do you see Shoko Ieri on the battlefield? Me? Conversely, do you see Kento Nanami or Utahime Iori healing anyone? No. But that doesn’t mean you get to have both.”

“I really have to pick?” you said in horror as you began to understand what your father was trying to stress to you.

“It shouldn’t be a choice, but theoretically, yes. If you continue to use Dissection, your ability to use Composition will be weakened, and if you learn to use Composition to its fullest extent, you will no longer be able to use Dissection in a way that will be helpful for fights.”

You remembered the pain of healing, the blood dripping from your nose, the choking sensation. And then you remembered the rush of fighting, the adrenaline. Healing was a funeral march, dragging you to a slow, inevitable death. Fighting made you alive; it was the essence of your being, at the very core of who you were.

“It’s not permanent, right? Composition won’t go away or anything if I don’t use it for a while,” you said.

“No, it’ll always be a part of you, but —”

“Then I fight,” you said decisively. “I will fight and become a true Grade 1 sorcerer. I will continue to train with Gojo. If ever a day comes where I can no longer fight, then I will become a healer, but until that day, I will fight with everything I have.”

“You are making a selfish choice, Y/N. You have great potential with Composition, and there are so few healers in this world, while there is no dearth of fighters.”

“Let me be selfish for once, then,” you said, pinching the bridge of your nose to ward off the coming headache.

“How can you willingly turn away from the power to save your friends?”

“I will save them by creating a world where there is nothing that will hurt them. This conversation is over; I am to be a sorcerer proper, and you cannot stop me, not now, not ever. I will fight,” you said.

“What will Noritoshi say?”

“Nothing, I expect. He has been in support of me fighting from the start. Besides, now that it’s been proven I can use the Reverse Cursed Technique, isn’t my value to the Kamo clan far greater? It doesn’t matter if I am ugly or scarred or broken, any heirs I bear will likely possess the same aptitude as I do. They won’t care if I fight or heal,” you said. Your father sighed in frustration but allowed you the argument, knowing you were right.

“There is nothing I can do to change your mind?”

“As I threatened once before, I will run away to live with Gojo if you try,” you said.

“Very well. I will see you once the school year ends.”

“Very well. Farewell, father,” you said.

“Wait.”

“What?” you said impatiently. “I have to go talk to Gojo.”

“Congratulations on your recommendations. I…am proud of you. You will truly be a shining example of what it means to be a sorcerer, if that is the path you must take.”

“Thank you,” you said, taken aback at the praise. You weren’t sure if you had ever heard your father praise you before. You didn’t know how genuine it was, but it was praise all the same, and some childish part of you wished for more.

“Farewell, Y/N.”

The line went silent, and you slipped your cellphone into your pocket, frowning pensively at the latest development.

The way your father told it, nothing had changed at all. You had healed Yuta, but that was a one-time thing, and if you wanted to continue to be the perfect L/N girl, then you’d have to give up fighting.

Fighting. You remembered what Tullia had asked you once, en route to Gojo’s favorite bakery, which you two had needed to save from a Grade 2 curse.

“Is anything in your life your own?”

You had needed to pause and think about it back then. It seemed so long ago, when only two things belonged to you for sure, when your choices were made by others and your destiny depended upon the whims of a group of ‘stuffy old men’ — the ever-so-kind name that Maki and Tullia used to refer to the higher ups.

“My needles. My friendship with Maki. Those are mine.”

Giving up fighting meant giving up both of those. What use did a healer have for cursed needles, meant to puncture and kill? What use did the perfect heir of the L/Ns have for the failure of the Zenins? For better or worse, if you became a healer the way your father wanted you to, you would fit seamlessly into the role allotted to you by your superiors. Yet all that meant was a loss of everything you had tried to do and become, a loss of your newfound individuality, your sense of self, your friendships, and your strength.

“It stands to reason, actually,” Gojo said, motioning for you to sit, which you did so without hesitating, “What your father is saying has merit to it. There’s a reason you’re the first L/N to fight, and there’s a reason most normal sorcerers never obtain the skill to heal.”

“Do you think I’m making the right choice?” you said. He shrugged.

“Nah. Any sane person would want to learn how to heal. Who’d want to keep risking their life, day after day, when they could be safe and helping on the sidelines?” he said.

“I could never let my friends fight my battles for me! I’ve spent too long locked away on the sidelines,” you snapped at him.

“Well, nobody ever said jujutsu sorcerers are sane,” he said.

“Huh?” you said.

“Look, Y/N, it’s a choice that nobody can make for you. If you want to fight, then fight to the bitter end. If you want to heal, then there will be no shortage of patients for you to work on, not in times such as these,” he said.

“So you think it’s okay for me to choose to fight?” you pressed.

“I think it’s okay for you to choose to fight,” he affirmed. “I think it’s more than okay. You told me once, and I think you were right in saying it, that healing is akin to a war. You’re not going to escape pain, no matter the path you take. It’s just what you’re capable of bearing that matters.”

“Alright, then. As long as I have your support,” you said.

“You do,” he said. “Always. You’re clever, and what kind of teacher wants to give up a talented student? You don’t have to be able to heal just to make an impact in this world, and anyways, as your father said, you’re not giving it up for good. If there ever comes a time that you put down your needles forever and take up the role of healer, then I’m certain Shoko will be grateful for the help.”

“Speaking of healing, what about the rest of it? Why was I able to bring back Yuta while using Dissection? To hear my father tell it, it should’ve been impossible,” you said. Gojo hummed in thought.

“Nobody can know for sure, but I have some theories. Would you like to hear?” he said.

“Obviously, or I wouldn’t have asked,” you said. He laughed.

“Okay, okay, that’s fair enough. My first idea is that Rika lent you her cursed energy somehow, boosting your Reverse Cursed Technique enough to fully heal Yuta with Composition despite the fact that it should’ve been severely weakened. My second is that you only shocked Yuta’s system, in the sense that you didn’t heal him so much as annoy him into waking up, whereupon he was able to heal himself due to his prowess with the Reverse Cursed Technique,” he said.

“How would Rika lend me her cursed energy?” you said.

“I don’t know. That’s why it’s just a theory. There’s too many gaps in our understanding that, in all honesty, probably won’t ever be filled. My final hypothesis is the most outlandish, but it’s based on what I heard you and Yuta talking about, right after he woke up again,” he said.

“I wish you would’ve forgotten about that,” you said, subconsciously fidgeting with the ring that rested on your finger — not your engagement ring from Noritoshi but the one that Yuta had put on you. “It’s embarrassing that you had to hear. And also really, really, really weird.”

“Still, it was informative to say the least. I’m sure you’ve heard the story of the Y/N from the Heian period and how she was brought back to life after helping seal Sukuna,” he said.

“Yes, of course, that’s the story that convinced me to try healing Yuta,” you said.

“That makes it simpler. Did you think that you loved him enough to bring him back?” he said. You averted your eyes.

“Dunno. I mean, I don’t have any beliefs in love being some magical tool or anything. All I knew was that Yuta loved me and the others enough to die saving us and the school, and I loved him too much to let him go without at least attempting to do something about it,” you said.

“Love’s a powerful curse,” Gojo said. “Powerful enough that the cursed energy from it might’ve been enough to temporarily boost your reserves.”

“Powerful enough that I could’ve been powerful enough, for a little bit, to bring Yuta back to life,” you said dully. “That’s the corniest shit I’ve ever heard.”

“It is pretty cheesy,” Gojo admitted. “The truth’s probably somewhere in the middle, as it often is. Maybe some combination of your heightened emotions and Rika’s energy were enough to force Yuta’s heart into beating just enough that he could heal himself. Maybe it was something else entirely. Like I said, we’ll never know.”

“No point in dwelling on it, I suppose. He’s alive, and that’s all that matters,” you said with a sigh. “It’s not like I’ll be healing very many people moving forwards.”

“Right on,” Gojo said. “Just focus on completing your missions so that you can become a Grade 1 sorcerer in full!”

“That’s the plan,” you said with a firm nod, “Though a bit of a break first would be nice. We were all thinking of having a party, actually, I believe Toge and Panda will take care of the cake. Maybe Maki, Tullia, and I can buy some decorations, and Yuta can…uh, I don’t know, Yuta can clean or something? That doesn’t really make much sense, though, I’ll have to coordinate with the others so we can split up into more balanced teams.”

Gojo sniffed, and so quickly you almost didn’t see it, pulled down his sunglasses to wipe away a tear from his eyes. You frowned, but he shook his head before you could inquire why he was crying.

“Here,” he said, voice choking as he held out his hand. “Take this.”

“Your credit card?” you said, eyes wide as you stared at the glimmering, sapphire-colored metal. He nodded.

“Yeah. I’m…I’m really glad that the six of you are friends, you know that? I hope you always stay that way,” he said.

“Okay,” you said. “Can I buy whatever I want with this?”

“Go ahead,” he said.

“No way,” you breathed.

“Just save me some cake,” he said.

“Sure thing!” you said, completely reevaluating the party. With Gojo as your sponsor, you could go seriously all-out now!

To your further surprise, he leaned over and squeezed you in a hug. “You’re a good kid.”

“What do you want from me?” you wheezed out, unused to the copious amounts of affection.

“Nothing, nothing. Megumi hates hugs, so I have to make do with you, since you’re the only one who won’t deck me when I try,” he said.

“I see,” you said warily. “You’re not going to follow this up with what I think you are, are you?”

He ignored you and beamed. “But who knows? Maybe Megumi will let you hug him! Only one way to find out!”

“There it is,” you said, pocketing Gojo’s card and rolling your eyes. “Later, Gojo. Thanks for the credit card!”

“Anytime!” he said.

“Really?” you said. He paused and thought about this.

“Maybe not,” he said.

“Fair enough,” you said.

You dashed down the hallways in search of your fellow classmates. Luckily, they were all together, Panda hiding behind Yuta while Maki glared at him, Toge sleeping on the couch, and Tullia making popcorn.

“Y/N!” Maki said when she noticed your arrival. “Help me!”

“With what?” you said.

“She’s trying to force me into the bath!” Panda wailed. You turned to Yuta, who gave you a lopsided grin, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I think he smells fine,” he said.

“You’re just another gross guy defending your kind! Don’t take his word for it, Y/N!” Maki said furiously.

“I’ll be the judge of things,” you said, crossing the room to where Panda was cowering and leaning in to sniff his fur delicately.

“What’s the verdict?” Tullia said, tossing a handful of popcorn into her mouth and then scowling when it went everywhere but into her mouth.

“He’s clean, really, his coat just needs to be brushed out, and maybe a little bit of perfume would do him good, too. A fully-fledged bath would be unnecessary, though,” you said.

“Ha!” Panda said. “Wait, what?”

“Ha! Go brush yourself!” Maki said victoriously.

“No!” he said.

“Panda, I’m not letting you make cake for our super fancy party with unbrushed fur,” you said.

“Nobody wants that mangy, ratty coat near their desserts,” Maki said.

“I don’t know if I’d call it mangy or ratty, but I agree that this party deserves the best,” you said.

“And how exactly are we going to afford that? We’re a bunch of broke students,” Tullia said. You whipped out Gojo’s credit card, holding it up to the light.

“Gojo gave me full permission to use this!” you said.

“You’re joking,” Maki said.

“We probably shouldn’t take advantage of his kindness, though, right?” Yuta said worriedly. All of you, bar the still-unconscious Toge, began to laugh.

“Gojo’s loaded, and also he’s so annoying that I have no qualms about spending his money,” Maki said.

“He did say we could buy whatever we wanted with it,” you said.

“Don’t be a spoilsport, Yuta,” Tullia said.

“It’s party time!” Panda cheered.

“Only if you brush yourself,” Maki said. He exhaled so heavily that his entire body seemed to deflate.

“Okay,” he said, evidently deciding that making the sacrifice for the party was worth it.

“We need to split up into highly specialized teams,” you said, mentally drawing up a diagram for yourself, “Toge and Panda are doing cake, of course.”

“Naturally,” Tullia said.

“That leaves the four of us. Two will have to clean, and someone will have to come shopping with me,” you said.

“I’ll go shopping!” Yuta said immediately. Tullia and Maki exchanged looks, snickering very obviously, which made Yuta turn a bright red. You discreetly pinched Tullia’s upper arm, which did not do much to shut her up.

“That’s perfect, then. And if this place isn’t spotless by the time we’re back, there will be consequences,” you said.

“Like what?” Tullia said.

“I’ll tell Gojo you want to get with Megumi,” you said, jabbing a finger at her. She gasped in horror.

“You wouldn’t!” she said.

“I would,” you said. “And Maki, I’ll tell Principal Yaga you volunteered to be his secretary for the rest of the year.”

“You’re an awful person,” Maki said.

“Better get cleaning!” you sang, blowing her a kiss. “Come on, Yuta. Let’s get going; Panda, brush yourself off, wake Toge up, and get baking.”

“On it, boss!” Panda said with a salute.

“Sheesh, a girl gets recommended for grade 1 sorcerer status one time and suddenly thinks she’s better than everyone!” Tullia said.

“I know! You’d think she’d beaten Sukuna himself, the way she’s swaggering around here like she owns the place!” Maki said.

“Oh, shove a sock in it, you two,” you said.

“Whatever you say, wise and powerful Y/N,” Tullia said with a bow.

“We are but your weak underlings,” Maki said as the two of them dissolved in a fit of giggles. You grabbed a broom and threw it at them. Maki dodged, but Tullia did not, and the handle whacked into her skull. This time, it was you who burst into laughter, grabbing Yuta’s hand and dragging him out after you before either of them could retaliate.

“How are we going to get into the city?” Yuta said.

“We could ask Ijichi to take us?” you said.

“That’s a good idea,” he nodded.

But the managers were all too busy to deal with frivolous errands such as taking you to go shopping for a party, leaving you standing in the parking lot, stumped. Rows upon rows of shiny cars stared you in the face, and a wicked plan formed in your mind.

“Let’s steal one,” you said.

“We’ll get in so much trouble if we’re caught! Also, neither of us knows how to drive!” Yuta said.

“How hard can it be? Come on, it’s either that or we walk,” you said.

“Fine, but you’ll be the one behind the wheel,” he said nervously. “I’ll crash the car for sure.”

“Got it. I’ll look up the basics on my phone,” you said, skimming over an article on how to drive a car while Yuta did his seatbelt and then reached over to buckle yours for you while you were distracted.

“I can’t believe we’re hijacking a car,” he said.

“It’s so cool, right?” you said.

“No! What if Gojo finds out?” he said.

“He’d probably be proud of us,” you said. Yuta considered this.

“I guess you’re not wrong about that,” he said. Putting away your phone, you took a deep breath and started the car. The engine purred to life without a hitch, and you allowed a tentative smile to break out on your face before you put the car into reverse and stepped on the gas.

The car shot backwards, and Yuta screamed shrilly as you slammed on the brake pedal, jerking to a stop and then switching the car into drive. Spinning the wheel, you careened out of the parking lot, narrowly avoiding the curb and the welcome sign.

“Oh my god,” Yuta said as you accelerated around the curves of the country roads near the school, “We’re going to die!”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing!” you shouted gleefully, pushing the car faster. Yuta shrieked as you shot onto the highway, weaving around other cars and barely dodging trucks.

“Slow down!” he said.

“No way!” you said. “This is fun!”

You felt like you could do anything now. You had defied your father. You had stolen a car. You had Gojo’s credit card in your pocket. You were going to have a party, and you were going to continue to fight. You were a sorcerer, a future grade 1 sorcerer, and you didn’t care that the only knowledge you had on driving came from a Wikipedia article. You had Yuta at your side, and the both of you were so alive that nothing else mattered.

The tires screeched as you pulled into the grocery store parking lot and somehow fit the car into the furthest spot you could find. Putting it back into park and shutting off the engine, you took a moment to catch your breath.

“That was awful,” Yuta said, clutching his chest. “I’m more scared of your driving than I was of Geto.”

“Are you kidding? That was awesome!” you said. “And you’re rude to say that.”

“Look, I think you almost killed me on the highway at least thirty times! That’s more times than Geto managed to!” he said, breathing heavily

“But we didn’t die,” you pointed out.

“Divine intervention,” he muttered. You poked him in the cheek.

“Just admit I’m not an awful driver,” you said.

“You are!” he said.

“Like you could do better!” you said.

“Just because I’m probably worse doesn’t make you good!” he argued, getting out of the car and opening the door for you, extending a hand to help you out. You took it and did not let go, even once you had slammed your door shut and locked the car behind you.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re just jealous. Don’t be jealous, Yuta, I can teach you,” you said, swinging your linked hands between the two of you, letting yourself have this precious one moment of being with him openly before you let go.

“No thanks,” he scoffed. “What do we need to buy?”

“Appetizers, probably. Decorations. Plates and napkins and plastic cutlery and all of that. A colorful tablecloth? It’s just going to be the six of us, so we don’t need to go all out,” you said.

“That store looks promising,” he said. You squinted at the building he was pointing at and then nodded.

“Yeah, you’re right. Let’s go! We should try to get done before Maki and Tullia have the chance to finish cleaning,” you said.

“You’re horrible,” he said affectionately.

“I’m a monster of their making,” you said. “If they don’t like it, well, they can’t complain. It’s their fault I’m like this.”

“I think you were always like this, they’re just the ones that made you come out of your shell,” he said.

“And isn’t that what I just said?” you teased.

“Not exactly,” he said. “But I’ll give it to you.”

“Thank you, Yuta, you’re very generous,” you said dryly.

“Anything for you, Y/N,” he said. You bit your lip in thought, suddenly remembering something.

“Say, I know this is kind of random, but since we’re alone and there’s no chance of anyone overhearing…what are we to each other, Yuta?” you said. He was silent for a second, mulling the question over.

“I don’t know,” he said finally, not looking at you but straight ahead when he did. “I’m sorry, but I don’t. You’re engaged to somebody else.”

“Yeah,” you said.

“Yeah. But you love me,” he continued.

“Yeah,” you said again.

“And I — I —” he broke off. “You know how I feel. But I can’t say it, because whenever I say it to people, something bad happens to them. Maybe I’m just being superstitious, but I won’t curse you with my feelings.”

“Okay,” you said, even though it would’ve been so nice to hear him say it out loud. But they were just words; like he said, you knew how he felt.

“So where does that leave us? We can’t be boyfriend and girlfriend. We can’t go on dates when there’s a chance we could get caught. We can’t be with one another in public; maybe we can’t be with one another at all. But I don’t want to be with anyone else, Y/N, nobody but you,” he said.

“I’ll become an outcast before I leave you,” you promised, “I’ll leave jujutsu society forever if that’s what it takes, but I won’t leave you. If you’ll have me.”

His eyes softened, and he turned to look at you. In the light, the poison-blue looked far more grey, but it was a pretty shade of the color. You would drown in his irises happily.

“If I’ll have you? That’s a stupid question. I’m still confused about the fact that you want me, really. If it comes down to it, we’ll be outcasts together,” he said.

The rings on both of your fingers glinted in the sun as you interlocked your pinky finger with his in an oath. Your ring from Noritoshi and his from Rika were reminders of your pasts, and the ones your mother had given you, the ones you had exchanged with one another, were promises of the future.

Whether triumphant sorcerers or pariahs from society, you could be assured that Yuta would remain by your side no matter what. And you had faith that Maki, Tullia, Toge, and Panda would not abandon you, either, but they faded into an afterthought at the moment. It was you and Yuta against the world, you and him and nobody else. So you gave into temptation and kissed him in the parking lot, nothing more than a brush of your lips against his own before you could be seen, but it sealed the deal more than any kind of wedding vows ever could.

“You guys took forever,” Tullia said with a yawn when you and Yuta walked in, the muscles in his arms flexing under the weight of the boxes and bags you were making him carry.

“We’ve been done for ages,” Maki said.

“Toge and Panda?” you said.

“Putting on the finishing touches with the icing. Seriously, though, why were you gone for so long?” Maki said.

“Y/N’s an awful driver,” Yuta said by way of explanation, setting down the stuff you had bought with a thud. “Enough said.”

“No, not enough said. What happened?” Maki said.

“She almost killed six pedestrians, enormous trucks almost flattened us twice, and that’s not even the worst of it!” he said.

“Then what’s the worst of it?” Tullia said. You and Yuta shuddered before deciding not to bring up the Incident.

“Never mind,” you said. “We made it back in one piece, and with the stuff we needed for this party! So let’s focus on the bright side, okay?”

“Okay,” Maki said dubiously. “As long as you’re both alright.”

“We will be,” Yuta said.

“Just get all of this set up,” you said, not wanting to dwell on it any longer. The four of you were efficient to the max, moving with the speed that was to be expected from those in your profession. You chatted, mostly about smaller things, though one big conversation came about, and this was when you brought up the choice you had made.

“Tullia, be careful, you’re going to break your finger,” Maki said in exasperation when Tullia almost slammed a chair leg into her pinky. Tullia waved her off.

“Don’t worry about it! Y/N can heal now, she’s got me covered,” she said. You snorted.

“I wouldn’t count on that. In terms of healing…I have no healing,” you said.

“What do you mean?” she said indignantly, freezing in place and giving you a betrayed look.

“Exactly what I said. I can’t heal, not while I continue to use my inherited technique. I don’t have enough cursed energy to continually use both Dissection and Composition, so I had to make a choice between which one I want to focus on, and I’m…I’m a jujutsu sorcerer, not a healer. I know it makes me a terrible person, especially when people with the capabilities to heal are so rare, but I just can’t do it. I can’t give up the one thing I have for myself,” you said. They all considered this.

“I don’t care whether you fight or heal,” Yuta said, “As long as you’re safe. That’s the only thing I’m concerned about.”

“I’d be pretty upset, losing my favorite training partner,” Maki said. This was her small, secret way of saying she was happy with what you chose, her way of saying she’d have missed you otherwise.

“I’m glad that you’re finally making your own decisions. If anyone’s got the right to be selfish after everything, it’s you. And besides, Yuta has a Reverse Cursed Technique too, doesn’t he? I guess I’ll just make sure to be around him if I get hurt instead,” Tullia said.

Yuta nodded. “It’ll be good practice for sure. Although, if you get hurt doing something stupid, I’ll laugh at you first.”

“When is Tullia not doing something stupid?” you said rhetorically.

“She’s got a point,” Maki said.

“I guess I’ll be laughing a lot,” Yuta said.

“As long as you still heal me eventually,” Tullia said, not even arguing with the assessment she knew to be true.

You all moved on quickly, and you were thankful. It felt like there was a great weight lifted off of your shoulders now, as if there had previously been a heavy fog on your mind that had suddenly vanished.

It was okay that you were choosing your own happiness. It was okay that you could not heal. It was okay that you were in love with Yuta. All of these things could be true, all of these things were true, and you would still always have your classmates and your teacher. Gojo, Tullia, Maki, Panda, Yuta, and Toge — even in a nightmarish world like the one you lived in, you could count on them.

“Hey,” Tullia muttered to you, later that night, once the party was over and the others were passed out from an overconsumption of cake, “I was being serious earlier, you know that?”

“About what?” you said, nearly about to fall asleep yourself.

“About everything. The whole choosing to fight thing and all of that. Ever since I’ve met you, it’s like you’ve just been doing what you’re told and bearing it as best as you can. I don’t care if it means one less healer in the world; if you can escape your last name and assigned role through it, then who are we to begrudge you for it?” she said.

“Do you really mean it?” you said.

“’Course I do. Maybe it makes you a shitty person, but look at it this way — you’re never going to top bringing someone back to life, so why try? You’ve already hit your peak as a healer. Focus on becoming a better sorcerer; there’s still room for improvement there,” she said. You blinked at her in amazement.

“You’re right about that,” you said.

“I’m so smart,” she giggled, not waiting for you to respond before lying on the carpet, hugging a pillow and curling up next to Panda, who functioned as a heat source that was quite comfortable to fall asleep next to. She was out within minutes, and you smiled affectionately before deciding to follow her example.

Yuta was on the couch and, because you knew that everyone at the school was already pretty much aware of your relationship with him, you had no misgivings about dropping down next to him and resting your cheek against his chest.

He was warm, though perhaps not as warm as Panda, and he did not wake up when you settled beside him. But you did not want him to wake up, so this was fine. You allowed his heartbeat to lull you to sleep, and whether the steady rhythm was Rika’s doing or yours or his own, you found it did not matter. As long as it kept going. As long as he was alive. The rest you could deal with, as long as you had him.

Maybe you would never heal again, but in bringing Yuta back, you had already done all of the healing you would ever need to. By chance or fate, the circumstances had aligned perfectly, so that you were able to bring him back, so that you were able to draw upon the healing power of your family for that exact one event. But in the end, you were also descended from Y/N, the woman who had fought so hard that she had helped seal Sukuna even as she was dying from the knife he had twisted in her. You were never meant to live a life away from the blood of the battlefield; your mother had ensured that when she chose your name.

Nothing had changed since you had come here, a scared girl unable to heal but willing to fight. Yet everything had changed, because now you were unwilling to heal, able to fight, and braver than you could have imagined. And you had friends now, people who loved you, and there was a true future for you as a Grade 1 sorcerer, as long as you could prove yourself worthy of it.

That was what you dreamt of — not love or happiness or peace but rather of strength and power. You dreamt of the day that you were confirmed as a Grade 1 sorcerer, of the day that you could look your father in the eye and tell him that you were worth more than he thought you were, worth more than him.

And it — it was a foolish dream, but as the moon inched across the sky, you dreamt of a future where you were the head of your clan, a future where all of jujutsu society listened to you.

In your sleep, you smiled.

#yuuta x reader #yuuta x you #yuuta x y/n #canon au #reader insert #pomegranate ink #m1ckeyb3rry writes