#am I so fucking annoyed by this trash ass movie
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Yeah, the whole racism regarding a fan casting of an actress of color just made me hate the Disney version of the fairy tale even more.
Fuck all the unnecessary shit Disney added in the fairy tale like the dumb flower that makes blonde hair magical, the “I want to be young and pretty for no reason” as a motivation like it’s the 50s and the the fact that the villain is even more of a offensive antisemitic caricature than the fairy tale ever was. It also gave birth to the worst and most annoying fandom known to man. They are just as bad and racist as swifties and mcu Wanda stans! Not hard to see why as the movie appeals to their trash ass ideals.
Tangled was a fucking mistake, Disney should have never adapted rapunzel and it should have never been released in 2010.
#mine#anti tangled#fairy tales#fairy tale#antisemitism#anti disney#anti Disney stans#fucking hate this version so much#am I so fucking annoyed by this trash ass movie#rapunzel
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🍕💼🎯🥊❤️✂️🧊🍀🌂🙌🍎💎🍩 gib me scrunkly lore plz 🥺
yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaa thank you so many aahh, once again since this is a Big One I am gonna throw these under the cut/zaza pic :3
🍕 - What is their favourite food? Since we’ve established the gas station snack food thing I’ll make another addition that isn’t dependent on a modern setting: jerky, generally anything crunchy. Any setting in which chips (or even crackers) exist you can bet he’s gonna be scarfing those fuckers down.
💼 - What do they do for a living? Ok so this is funny; in everywhere except the very scuffed ass modern/fc5 AU he mainly just steals shit. If asked why he’s always very ideological about why he does it, very particular about his targets but ultimately yeah. Whatever he can’t obtain via his weirdo hermit ass lifestyle he just forages in other peoples’ homes and businesses for. He could probably make some bank selling the shit he makes if he had any tolerance for the prospective buyers but that is not going to happen because stealing is less annoying.
🎯 -What do they do best? Answered HERE
🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do? Loves to fucking chill idk. If left to his own devices he would probably just roam around, climb some mountains, build some dumb shit, make a campfire, play guitar, who knows.
As for hate. uhm. I don't think there's any day-to-day activity that he genuinely cant stand. Like he doesn't particularly like going to pick up the mail or answering the door but like it's not the end of the world. He definitely hates when things are done TO him though lmao- he hates being touched except by a VERY specific few people, otherwise expect to lose an arm.
❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories? Answered HERE <3
✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories? There was a prominent antagonist in the main RP I did with him, a dracolich who managed to push his buttons like no one else could and more or less took away everything that he held dear. Needless to say Eran went full murder mode, forgot how to be human for a few years, the whole nine yards. I could gush about that RP for hours it is my favourite thing I’ve done with Eran like ever
🧊 - Is their current design the first one? I went and tracked down a specil [ EXCLUSIVE !! ] piece of sprinkle history: behold scrackle circa 2009.
Needless to say the current design is slightly different. Having said that I think I had the basics of his design dialed in within the first few years.
🍀 - What originally inspired the OC? I can’t explain this without sounding like an insane person, but it involves a fixation that 13yo bug had with a popular Canadian country-rock band. It’s all completely irrelevant now but it is funny to think about. There were comics.
🌂 - What genre do they belong in? For a long time I had him really locked in to fantasy stuff but I am less and less enamoured with that genre as time goes on for a few different reasons. It’s familiar and comfortable for me certainly, and Eran has BY FAR the most ‘lore’ in his original, fantasy-ish canon. So I’m not sure if that counts as belonging but it’s certainly his origin. Even then that's more of a setting than a genre so I'll expand on that- I think there are certain elements that make an Eran story successful in my eyes, that aren't limited to fantasy. I need him to be able to do crimes, be a Wild Boy and generally be more of a freak than a modern setting would typically allow (not to 100% trash the FC5 au but it definitely needs…something). I think it would be funny to put him in a heist movie. I’ve always liked him best when leaning heavily into the drama, character study sort of shit.
🙌 - How many sibling does your OC have? One brother, Ash, whom he hates.
🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like? Bad! His whole family is a cult in its own right more or less and Eran really doesn’t want anything to do with them. It's admittedly something I haven't fleshed out toooooo much. E's very much a 'keep moving forward' type of guy so naturally his family past stuff has not had too much attention.
💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC? I have had him beef it before- obviously it’s been in self contained storylines. As for anything more permanent- hard to say. I never want to rule out the possibility entirely. I definitely feel like I’ve exhausted my writing options for him at the moment so that seems close to death in a way. I can draw the little bastard until the end of days but coherent story content has been…. Lacking. :|
🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival? I don’t feel like he’s had a ‘nemesis’ really in any of the main stories. His scraps tend to be against larger organisations, the world around him or his own dumb ass decisions. I think his most persistent ‘enemy’ has been a Mages’ Guild (also from ‘The RP’ I keep blabbing on about) which he angered on many different occasions though not without good reason. ;)
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1, 3, 6-8, 13, 16, 20-22 (didn’t think of a Thing to ask abt so go wild!!) (sorry if this has sent several times my app keeps crashing <3)
1) the character everyone gets wrong
oooh another one of this question lemme think of another one to complain about…. um. ty blackthorn…. i know you don’t know him but you should have a basic level of familiarity with his sherlock holmes swag and necromancy realness and ghost guy slay like. just based on my posting… i don’t like fandomy interpretations of him that make him like. soft and cutesy and uwu whatever like that boy is a huge fucking cunt he’s the worst… he’s a supervillain in training it’s ridiculous stop calling him your soft little baby or whatever the hell…. like you sound insane not even cassie is babying him like that get serious
3) screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr
i’m saying this cuz i know you were there too so you’ll get it but literally the 2021 pre s4 era of bylertheorism posting was so awful fr….
6) which ship fans are the most annoying?
wow see prev response….. no but like i’ll give a real answer. um idk i already complained about a few things but i’m gonna pull out a nicheish one due to the fact i saw a sofia wylie tiktok today and it made me think about hsmtmts. um i think ricky and gina shippers ruined everything sacred about that show and tim federle needs to die for the crimes he’s committed against me for them. this is also true about jiara but i’m beyond caring about obx and hsmtmts is like. THE show that got me through summer 2021. it was so rough oh my god. ej and gina were all i had. and now i don’t even have them anymore we should all kill ourselves. not to be a person that cares too much about ships. idk you had to be there maybe. and by there i mean like. you had to be me i guess
7) what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?
damn speaking of outer banks. jj. that boy should kill himself i don’t even care. or jesper shadow and bone. i promise i’ll like him more when i read about him but as a netflix original comic relief man…. i just can’t get behind him. also that actor was in a movie i hated so he should have to do like. 100 hours court ordered community service picking up trash in parks. that’s just one girl’s opinion
8) common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about
can i talk about my shadowhunters. ok well i’m going to. it’s like sorry about your mental illnesses or whatever but i don’t think projecting them onto kit herondale is necessarily the way to go babes. he exists in a fantasy universe where he can put a little tattoo on his body and instantly gain speed, the kid hangs out with werewolves and his mom can do magic. i don’t think he is taking adderall. plus shadowhunters can’t take medication anyway so L + ratio + i can tell you’re either 16 or the most annoying adult alive. sorry if you’re 16, i promise when you stop being 16 you will feel better about life. like fandom lovessss to headcanon him with the most boring shit imaginable. oh you headcanon that this character who lives in a universe where MAGIC IS REAL has adhd? that’s cool i headcanon that he’s a virgin but makes up elaborate lies about it so none of the bad guys who are constantly after him can use him as a virgin sacrifice. i just made that up but it’s still more fun than being like ohh this character is training to be able to kill demons but the most important thing in his life is remembering to take his medication!! like booo 👎 nobody wants to read about medication in fantasy…. unless it’s like some sick ass herbs and potions like my buddy gaius makes. whatever.
13) worst blorboficiation
can i say will herondale. you know what don’t even worry about it. i’m gonna say tom holland spiderman. i don’t engage with literally any of that but i am an internet user in this day and age so it is unfortunately thrust upon me. sorry to that man but i hope peter parker dies goddamn. today’s writers just don’t hate their protagonists enough they always wanna keep ‘em around as long as possible it’s insane. arthur conan doyle had the right idea i think. like kill that dude!!
16) you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)
i hateeeeeee fandom himbo characterization. ESPECIALLY. when it comes to my beloved arthur bbc merlin. he is not. a himbo…. we should all kill ourselves.
20) part of canon you found tedious or boring
no offense to cassandra clare’s infernal devices but. i’m so so sorry tessa i love you forever it’s just. well.
21) part of canon you think is overhyped
i’m just gonna say barchie. can’t fucking stand this season sorry abby that i made you watch this show only for its final season to be a flop ass barchie season.
22) your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores
i think we all need to talk more about how in city of fallen angels clary had a pink cell phone. that was a nothing detail i just think about it a lot and i didn’t know what else to say here.
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Being soap’s bestie headcanons
- i Can imagin him giving off a Big brother Vibe, in that sense that he WILL beat anyone up that fucks with you
-is always by youre side, and you two spill all of the tea together
-very competive, will teach you new games and sports, and learn you good tecniques just so he Can win
-favorite game is mariocart
-no questions asked, its mariocart
-will make lots of bets, hoping that he might win a ice cream or two
-MOVIE NIGHTS! its a must, cheesy romances, horrors, action, you name it any type of movies is on the list, you gotta Watch it all.
- if you get annoying, he will swing you over his shoulder and just carry you away
-Big roller coaster fan
-as soon as you get a bf/gf he will have the bestfriend talk with them
-FaceTime 24/7 and yes he will still FaceTime you if hes shitting, he dont Care, hes Got stuff to tell you
-random late night calles, to tell you somthing stupid he just did WILL be a Big part og youre friendship
- he def has a dog, and Call you aunt/onkel around it, since hes the parent and youre basicly his sibling
-his parents has almost adoptere you anyway, you know where everything is, you know what he do and what he dont have in the fridge, you know that he hides the good ice creams in the back of it and so on.
-Will tekst you “but pookie🥺” if you tell him no to a stupid ass ideer hes had and decided to tekst you abt at 2 am
- clingy ass hell but we love him for it
-is a trash cook, but the grilled cheese MASTER
-buys the most random shit just cuz he thinks its funny as hell
-he Will dis you in scottish, for that one reason, that you dont understand it and cant come with a comeback
-hes the type of person to push you in the water, and then feel bad and make you hot chocolate
-very hyper
-very loud
-very loving
-you for sure have one of the most stupid, uncreative names known to man on his phone
-you also have a VERY bad photo that shows up everytime you call
-he Will sing for/to you every and any time he gets the chance, and yes it is shitty, but you got some stupid vidios of him now
-you tell eachother everything. No doubts in that AT ALL.
.if you like this post I Will take it as you waiting more so yea.
Like if you want more.
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6, 11, 23 for song asks! I love you! 💗
Love you more! 😘
Okay, I'm going to actually dig into a couple of these, because I have many opinions about music.
"the three songs" ask set
6. three songs you wish you could erase from history (because they’re terrible)
This one was surprisingly difficult for me, considering the amount of music I complain about and say I hate. I actually had to enlist my husband's help (it was then, that I realized he doesn't know the difference between 'I'm not a fan' and hate 🤦🏻♀️)
I utterly despise this song. Elvis does a cover of it, I can't even listen to that (and you know how much I love Elvis). Ask me about my Sweet Caroline reaction videos, they exist. I mostly hate it for the overplayed-ness (likely a regional issue), and the stupid fucking add-ins that everyone does. I absolutely refuse to be a part of that. Ever.
Not much to say about this one. It's just annoying, and I hate the effect that they have on the singers voice. Instant channel change every time.
This song blows. I don't like it. No reason, it just bugs me, and I would be happy if it never existed.
11. three favourite songs from movie or TV series soundtrack
Just FYI, I have purposefully excluded anything Disney from this list. If I start bringing Disney into this, it’s going to be all three.
Duh, it's my favorite movie, and the song is a total bop. No way this wasn't making the cut.
The OC ruled, I was in deep. Still am, just hide it better when I'm not in the middle of a rewatch. This song came on the other day, and it gave me all the happy fuzzies in my tummy, because it reminded me of my favorite friends from Newport Beach.
Could I have gone Calculus? Sure. Any of their songs would have worked for this, but this song just makes me so goddamned happy. It so perfectly encapsulates what I have always, and will always loved about the boy band that wasn't really a boy band.
23. three songs that never fail to get you pumped up
The second this song starts, I'm moving. The second the lyrics kick in, I'm singing along. My current thoughts and opinions on Will Smith notwithstanding, this song is hype and I love it.
*The movie was trash.
This is another one that's just catchy as hell and gets me going every time.
I dare you not to move when this song comes on. You can't! I have never not seen a room lose their shit when this song comes on, and I am right there with them.
Thank you for asking, and listening to my longwinded ass! 💚💜
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My Favorite Sebastian Stan Roles
I have been a fan of his since 2008. Been calling him Baz before all the fangirls started calling him Seb and I will call him Baz til the day I die.
The list gets more unhinged the more you scroll.
HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY, SEBASTIAN
Bucky Barnes from Marvel Cinematic Universe
The hardest part was figuring out which Bucky gif to use. I have been writing about this character for 11 years. I have been screaming into the ether about him to anyone who would listen. Although his time as my comfort character is coming to an end, I will never forget the many pages of fanfiction I wrote. He will forever live rent free in my head. This will always be my favorite role of his for as long as I live.
10/10 would marry and care for him for the rest of my miserable existence
Jefferson/Mad Hatter from Once Upon a Time
I would die for Jefferson. When he is reunited with Grace, that's what clicked in my brain that he was gonna be one I loved for a long time. I love him. I would die for him. He will also forever live rent free in my head. It's what he deserves.
10/10 would be a loving step-parent to Grace
Mickey from Monday
Mickey, my beloved mess of a human. Choosing this gif was the easiest decision of this post. This man makes me so soft while also making me so concerned for his mental health. He deserves all my love and attention and also deserves to see a professional.
6/10 would love to have a summer fling but would not like to spend my life with him good luck Chloe
Carter Baizen from Gossip Girl
I only started watching Gossip Girl when I learned he was in it. Ended up watching the entire series. Loved it at the time but now I'm horrified. He is the reason I will never trust a pretty boy from a rich family disinherited or not. But goddamn I was always here for the drama.
3/10 would be a fun fling but wouldn't trust him as far as I can throw him
Blaine from Hot Tub Time Machine
Blaine is an absolute cunt who deserves nothing but violence. But did he have some great moments in that movie. I almost opted to post a "Best of" video instead of a gif. But seriously he's one of my favorite assholes in any movie. Deserves to get his ass kicked a million times over.
1/10 would kick his ass but he's still pretty to look at
Charles Blackwood from We Have Always Lived In This Castle
Handsome and dangerous. Kinda weird that he was hitting on his cousin. The costume designer for this film deserves all my love and attention. He is insane and another reason why you don't trust pretty boys who come from money.
3/10 would fight over him drinking out of the milk carton
Johnny Nunzio from Tony n' Tina's Wedding
I too am the unhinged, annoying horny younger sibling. That's it. That's why I love Johnny.
0/10 he's like a child and too much to handle
Lance Tucker from The Bronze
The man is an absolute piece of work. Would not give him the time of day but that scene is one of the funniest and most entertaining scenes in Cinematic history. He is problematic as fuck and not worth the trouble.
0/10 but nice to look at when he does the flips
Tommy Lee from Pam & Tommy
He played this role so flawlessly. The show itself was shit. But his portrayal was absolute gold. The look was immaculate. I think the direction and script being trash shouldn't deter form his performance.
10/10 would let him completely ruin my life
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I personally feel like that this week just hasn’t been fun because I just haven’t had anytime to have energy to play Gotham Knights, I don’t find valuable time to be on Discord, I hate being outside when it’s 80 to 90 degrees outside, I’ve been having an annoying ass bump on my right eye led for something that has absolutely nothing to do with anybody and anything else and I have people on social media trying to push me the fuck away and make determinations on how I should live my life, which is obviously rude and disrespectful and I’m crucified for simply tell people to grow the fuck up because people don’t like my first amendment right to say whatever the fuck I want and people are disrespectfully infringing on my first amendment to say the word fuck in away to actually tell people what to do, especially and specifically when people adjust go about their way in being fucking immature, but those reasons are not the only reasons why because Thursday, June 1st, 2023 is has been mostly a trash ass day because yes it’s important for my Mom to go to important appointments, but the problem is that she has a habit of going to and setting up appointments for personal reasons and while putting herself into a position of doing a lot without even having the decency to even get some rest and it’s like I just haven’t gotten even go about my way in having fun on the Internet because I probably assume that she makes me go have something to do with my Dad rather than having fun on the Internet because it it’s disrespectful for people to want to do something when my Dad gets off of work or when he’s on vacation because that to me is an indication that people incentivize being one sided and not giving in return. It just feels live to me that my Mom sometimes incentivizes making personal decisions and personally not wanting me to have fun I my room because I’m having less fun when I’m out of the house whether it’s going to a grocery store, mall, movie theater, and/or a professional sports event and the thing that I’m furious about the whole situation is that she doesn’t tell me anything about appointments ahead of time and instead tells me to do so in the last minute, so you mean to tell me that you want me to spend with somebody like my Dad that hate giving second chances and go to places that I hate giving second chances when it’s going off the rails over and over and over again because you don’t like the fact that I’m distancing myself customers, sports fans workers when it’s clearly their fault for disrespecting the fuck out of me in the first place? Give me a break and. As far the process of doing a sleeping test go she should be finished with the sleeping test in approximately 5 hours and 37 minutes, which is 8:00 am Eastern Time anyway. In conclusion, My Mom needs to stop incentivizing setting up appointments and getting out of her house just because she wants to because all she does is putting herself into a position to do extremely way too much doing things too much because she should know better than to stress herself out like that and people who wants to do things when my Dad gets out of work or is on vacation because of the last 20 days need to just grow the fuck up because it’s none of their damn business and they need to learn how to do things without my Dad anyway because I’m tired of people inside and outside of social media making things mandatory with my Dad because I’m about damn sick and tired of him and people like need to just grow the fuck up because they take things out on me for something that I have nothing to do with and they need to grow the fuck up too and guess what? I have news for people who act like that. I won’t be on social media when he’s off for vacation, I won’t be going to in person events around he month of May all of the time and I won’t be voting in the 2024 presidential election, so don’t even bother to ask me to vote because I have had it with stupid ass mudafuckers. Jesus Christ, it’s no wonder I can’t figure people. Smh.
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So being from the USA, I'm from the land of spoiled brats under daddy's roof who say: you can't be trusted. I'll find a different one of you. You have bad taste. I am Bugs Bunny, you are not.
Bruce, Boi, my dad, my bro all said this to me. Every single fuckin' one of them said every fuckin' one of those things in so many ways.
Plenty of other less significant but very spoiled dipshits along the way, such as Cameron and Josie said the same things.
Of course it's not true. I've been singing Paha Vaanii in Finnish since I was in my 20s. I actually sent Marko Haavisto a recording I made in which I sang it while I played simple guitar chords under it. It wasn't a very good recording, heh... but I do sing the song rather well these days, I think.
None of their fucking asses can sing or write or survive on their own without the generosity of females and daddies to support them.
You know, it all sounds like a pep rally for myself, but I guess I'm just annoyed at the USA in general -- not just these 6 haters -- for squelching my freedom with its combat and juvenile, huffy and puffy time-wasting bullshit. It's not so much a pep rally as a realisation that they were more wrong than I realised, more abusive than I realised -- and that this is RESTRICTIVE. Conservatives are fucking restrictive, trying to tell you to express yourself less all the time and colour inside the lines more and blah blah blah fucking blah it's endless and all 6 were fundamentally patriarchy-abetting, status-quo-aiding conservatives.
Fuck them. I long to be the polar opposite of all of them, and why? For treating me like disposable trash and trying to squelch me due to thinking that squeezing a fairy til it pops makes some pixie dust rub off -- or treating me like a burden because they can't keep up and their lives are so suburban that even having to listen to a fellow human for long is draining, though they can make it through a 2 hour movie just fine because that's a toy, that's a product, and product is what spellbinds the idiots over there.
They have made themselves into precisely what I choose to be the opposite of. I don't like how their minds work, their hearts work, their hands work -- none of it.
In fact, even the thought of how their hands would feel touching me or touching anyone, especially in a romantic sense, is super disgusting to think of given who they are and how they would attempt to touch others would be so fucking clunky -- so like Trump's hands -- I cannot even. The grabbing hands of the white world that only is composed of takers and bossiness complexes... that's what it would be.
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ceo harry please, i wanna see what happened to addison!
SIMPLICITY
ceo!harry x reader
part two to this
(MASTERLIST) (CEO!HARRY MASTERLIST)
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"You're fired."
Addison lets out a gasp as she takes a step back shocked.
"W-what?" She stutters widening her eyes at Harry who looked unbothered but still undeniably angry.
"Did I stutter." Harry speaks roughly staring at the girl who seemed like she was about to breakdown crying. "Now leave, or I'll have someone escort you out." He waves his hand shooing her away.
She stays silent for a moment before saying something that catches Harry off guard.
"You're going to regret this."
The CEO swiftly stands up from his chair and stalks his way towards Addison who begins to grow nervous.
"Regret what? Firing a spoiled ass girl who doesn't do her job right. I think you're forgetting that my wife is the best lawyer in New York, she can destroy your life in less than five minutes." Harry glares at the now fired secretary.
Y/N was the smartest lawyer in all of New York. Her clients were all very famous people like Ariana Grande, most of the SNL cast, Taylor Swift, Adele….I mean the list goes on and on.
Everyone trusted Y/N because she was very passionate about her job.
"I-I'm sorry—“
"Great now leave." Harry scoffs making his way to the office door. Addison soon realizes that he opened it for her which makes a blush form on her face.
Maybe she still had a chance? He was holding the door open for her so that means he had to like her.
A throat clearing takes Addison out of her trance.
"Can you go now?" Harry scowls holding the door open with the heel of his Gucci boot.
"Y-yeah." Addison nods before slowly walking out of his office wanting to savior the last moment she had with him.
As Harry was about to shut the door in Addison's face her hand slapping on the door stops him. With a huff he swings his office door open.
"What."
"Am I getting my last paycheck?" She questions the CEO who looked annoyed of her.
"I'll let my wife decide that." Harry says before shutting the door on Addison's face. His reply made her face turn pale.
Ms. Styles did not like her.
-
A knock on Emily and Addison's apartment door makes both girls huff.
"I'm not getting it." Emily rolls her eyes and she continues to shove a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. Addison ignores her friend and she carries on watching the movie in front of her.
Another round of knocks make both girls groan.
"Go get it. It's probably Mr. Coleman again." Emily grumbles nudging Addison with her feet.
"Fuck off." Addison mutters standing up from the couch. As she makes her way to the door more knocks were heard. "Jesus I'm coming!" She quickly unlocks the door.
The person standing on the other side of the door makes her appalled.
"Addison." Ms. Styles nods.
"W-what are you doing here?" Addison questions nervously.
"Just bringing you your check. Got your address from your emergency card that was thrown in the trash." Y/N says as she holds an envelope out showcasing her new manicure.
"Oh thanks—“
"I recommend that you don't fall in love with anymore married men, especially the ones that have families. It's disgusting and I hope you learn to have more self respect for yourself." Y/N tells her before walking away leaving the fired secretary with her jaw dropped.
A shocked Addison watches the expensive looking woman leave. Ms. Styles words made her rethink her entire life decisions.
Y/N truly was a very omnipotent woman.
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tag list: @harrysmatcha @harryspinkpillow @helen-with-an-a @florencepughily @needyghosts @peterparkerbae @deadass1011 @toji-dabi-wife @fallonx @cherriesrae @alienorknight @valluvsu @drphilssoulmate @ivegotparticulartaste @ayeshathestyles @hazgoldenstyles @eiffelmezarry @tsukishimawhore @renatavieira @michellekstyles @eleanordaisy @shawnsblue @academiaghosts @evanjh @samaraaaaa @agustdpeach @hannahnikohl @hrryscherrys @whoscamila @ch3rryrry @msolbesg @newyorker14 @futuristicpalacegardenpsychic @youusunshineyoutemptress @galacticharrys @eunoiamaa @kaitieskidmore1 @mexicosuitrry @filmsbyameilia @twilightrry @cherryfragrancx @ssuziess @milkiane
#harry styles x reader#ceo!harry#boyfriend!harry#dad!harry#harry styles fanfiction#husband!harry#harry styles writing#harry styles#harry styles au#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x you#harry styles one shot#harry styles fan fic#harry styles fluff#harry styles angst
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Amphibia Incorrect Quotes; Part 5
[Wu Triplets au]
Darcy: You're the worst [cooks breakfast for Anne]
Darcy: Annoying, loud, clumsy--[cuddles with Anne]
Darcy: Living in my house and taking up space. Seriously fuck you [kisses Anne]
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TikTok trend: tell me that ur boyfriend won't cheat on you, without saying that he'll cheat on you
Ivy: [goes to her room and records Sprig]
Sprig: [cosplaying spider man]
Sprig: hi, babe!
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Mrs. Boonchuy: HONEY, ITS UR TURN TO TAKE THE TRASH!
Mr. Boonchuy: [playing mario kart] 5 more minutes!
Mrs. Boonchuy: no kisses for you then
Mr. Boonchuy: [throws switch away] ah you know what i have all the time in the world
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Sasha: Babe you haven't looked at me in 10 minutes.
Anne: We're watching a movie?
Sasha: Did I ask for an excuse?
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Anne, to Sprig and Polly: Hey, can you guys get a table?
Sprig and Polly: Yep, sure.
[ten minutes later]
Sprig and Polly, carrying a table over their heads: ANNE, START THE CAR
Anne: WHAT THE FUCK-
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Sprig: [pushing on a door that clearly says pull]
Polly, filming him: Just push harder.
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Grime: Look, I'm just trying to look out for you.
Sasha: I never asked for that! You're not my dad!
Grime:
Sasha:
Grime: [Sniffs]
Sasha: Wait- Dad, I didn't mean it.
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Marcy: what’s your greatest strength?
Anne: i'm a great flirt
Marcy: what's your greatest weakness?
Anne: those beautiful eyes of yours
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Polly: Am I in trouble then?
Hop Pop: Have a guess.
Polly: No?
Hop Pop: Have another guess.
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Sprig: why are Anne and Marcy sitting with their backs turned?
Sasha: they had a fight.
Sprig: then why are they holding hands?
Sasha: they get sad when they fight
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[Helluva Boss au]
Cloak-bot: Mua ha ha ha ha hoho-oh! Is that Annie my sensors spot up the-e-e-ere? I bet the kiddies are still running away from you, huh? [laughs]
Anne: The 'I' is silent now!
Cloak-bot: A-A-Awwwww, just like your audience always was when you to-told your lazy jokes here! [laughs]
Anne: Bitch, I make more money killin' people than you do being a cheap-ass robo ripoff of an overrated sellout JESTER!
Cloak-bot: [glitching] Oohoohoo! Someone's salty! Real or not though, people lo-o-ove me! Does anybody love you... [appears creepy with demonic voice] ANNIE?
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Waiter: So what would you like to order?
Marcy: can I get a milkshake with two straws please?
Anne, blushing: Aw, that’s so—
Marcy, putting both straws in her mouth: Watch how fast I can drink this.
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Sasha: If you have 10 cookies and I ask for 5, how many will you have?
Anne: 0
Sasha: It’s basic math it’s not even that ha—
Anne: I would give everything to you because I love you
Sasha, holding back tears: Gross absolutely disgusting get out of my room
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Marcy: According to scientists at Harvard, hair is the thinnest thing in the world.
Sasha: They obviously haven’t seen my patience
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Polly: Fight me!
Anne: Stop telling everyone to fight you, look how small you are!
Polly: My height doesn’t effect my ability to snap someone’s neck 97 different ways, including yours!
Sasha: You can’t even reach my neck.
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Marcy: [trips on air]
Anne: hahaha babe, you're so clumsy.
[Later when Marcy is not around]
Anne, punching the air: who do you think you are, who the FUCK DO YOU-
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Marcy: [Jumps out of Sasha’s closet] BOO!
Sasha:
Marcy:
Sasha:
Marcy: [sad]
Sasha: Ooooh, God! you scared me!
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Marcy, stubs toe on table: ow
Anne: YO WANNA FIGHT?
Marcy: i- its a table
Sasha, enters: Whats going on?
Marcy: i stubbed my toe on the table-
Sasha: OH WHAT? LETS THROW DOWN!
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Marcy: Anne, you’re a genius!
Anne: Yeah, I get called that a lot.
Marcy: A genius?
Anne: No, Anne.
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Marcy: Can you turn on the lights?
Anne: Don’t have to. You’re the only light I need in my life.
Marcy: Anne, sweetie, I can’t see.
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Anne: There’s something on your mouth [Kisses it off]
Marcy: There’s something on yours too [Kisses Anne]
Sasha: What the fuck do we even buy napkins for??
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Cloak-bot: I have your second mom.
Anne: I only have one mom.
Cloak-bot: Then who is this human who keeps babbling history facts?!
Anne: Oh shit you have Dr. Jan-
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Dr. Jan: Hah! Guys look at this. Some saiyan child is on the news for blowing up a science lab
Dr. Jan: [Realization]
Dr. Jan: OH NO THAT'S MY SAIYAN CHILD-
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Sasha: [Stubs toe] SON OF A BI-
Anne: Sash! [Aggressively gestures to Marcy] There are bbs here.
Sasha: --iiiiscuit.
Anne: Phew. Nice save.
Marcy: Yeah, fucking nailed it.
Anne: MARCY-
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Grime: You need a hobby.
Sasha: I have a hobby!
Grime: Spying on Anne isn't a hobby.
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Grime: Percy if you're reading this-
Grime: Wait can Percy read?
Grime:
Grime: Braddock if you're reading this...can Braddock read??
Grime: ...Sasha if you're reading this-
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Maggie: so uuhhh you and Anne?
Sasha: yep
Maggie: so how did she made you fall in love with her?
Anne: [in her saiyan form screaming aggressively while punching the enemies]
Sasha: [sighs lovingly] isn't she an angel?
Maggie:
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Sasha and Marcy: [staring at each other lovingly]
priest: before i declare these two lovely ladies happily married, does someone want to object-
Anne: [kicks down the church door]
crowd: [gasp]
Sasha:
Marcy:
Anne:
Anne: sorry im late girls!
#amphibia#wu triplets au#darcy#darcanne#ivy sundew#sprig plantar#sprivy#mrs. boonchuy#mr. boonchuy#sasha waybright#anne boonchuy#sashanne#polly plantar#hop pop plantar#marcy wu#marcanne#cloak-bot#get anne a therapist#sasharcy#dr. jan#amphibia maggie
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tr characters at a sleepover
takemichi: probably the most normal one, which is not a good sign. he’s the type to chomp down aggressively on popcorn during scary movies bc that’s how scared he is. he’s also the first one to pass out, making him the ideal target for pranks (courtesy of mikey, smiley, and kazutora)
mikey: oh god oh fuck. this very violent gremlin will hog all of the snacks, and by all, I mean ALL of them (he’s willing to lend takemichi the popcorn though). nobody can get any sleep bc this little shit snores louder than a vacuum cleaner, much to everyone’s annoyance. oh and the nasty ass creature that’s stealing all of the food in your fridge at night? that’s not your sleep paralysis demon. that’s just mikey with his stupid 3 am snacking.
draken: takes on the role as mikey’s impulse control, but only because no one else will do it. everyone cuddles up toward him during the scary movie because he’s strong and has a very reassuring presence. by the end of the movie, he can’t feel either of his arms or legs. he’ll be willing to buy extra snacks from the local dollar store just so he can get away from mikey.
baji: honestly? just as annoying as mikey. he’s ready to get wild, and constantly squabbles over the snacks with mikey (but he’s willing to share with chifuyu). he lets emma play with his hair while he gets his nails done by chifuyu. before sleeping, everyone has to roll baji up into a blanket burrito because this mf will NOT stop kicking in his sleep. have you ever been strangled in your sleep? oh don’t worry that’s probably just baji dreaming of choking kisaki to death
chifuyu: sneaks peke j in because he can’t sleep without his cat. thankfully, he’s one of the calmer people, probably second to takemichi. he also brings over his nail polish and offers to do everyone’s nails! oh uh, ignore the barfing noises in the background: that’s just chifuyu after he’s eaten one pop tart too many. given up on sleep yet?
mitsuya: he’s willing to be more chill. he loves his sisters, but it’s practically a gift from heaven having one night to himself. he brings all of the snacks, much to mikey’s delight. he’s also probably surprisingly calm during the scary movie, but only because he had a weird but short phase sometime during middle school where he would watch nothing but horror movies. it explains a lot about luna and mana’s upbringing, actually. he’ll try to get inui to model in some clothes for him, much to hakkai’s jealously.
hakkai: slightly bummed because mikey has a super tight grip on the snacks and won’t seem to share (it’s fine, draken is going to get some more). also, mitsuya is asking someone ELSE to model for him, which he seriously can’t stand. luckily, he has someone to rant to (ahem, angry) while he gets his nails done by chifuyu. he’s terrified out of his mind during the movie, screaming really loudly during the jump scares. it’s an odd sight: hakkai’s six foot ass cowering behind mitsuya, who’s calmly munching on some popcorn with takemichi without batting an eye.
pah chin: don’t tell koko, but he somehow managed to sneak his dog, pochi into the fucking house. chifuyu’s not the only one who can’t sleep without his pet. peh-yan is the only one who knows pochi is there. they hide pochi in a closet, occasionally feeding pochi some leftover snacks that mikey hasn’t claimed yet. it’s literally the worst kept secret because these two share a collective brain cell, but somehow no one has noticed yet because there’s too much chaos going on. unfortunately, the closet they hide pochi in just happens to be where koko’s shoes and fancy clothes are stored. don’t worry! koko doesn’t find out until the very next morning, or the morning after THAT, because he’s so exhausted he literally passes out for two days. that’s how much of a headache these dumbasses are
peh yan: nervously helps pah-chin smuggle pochi inside koko’s house. he nearly spills the secret like three times to five different people, but everyone thinks he’s joking. he works off the stress by playing (several) rounds of mario kart with smiley, who is unsurprisingly good at it. after the end of his rage-quit, the TV’s shattered and broken, the consoles are split into two, and koko’s headache turns into a migraine.
smiley (nahoya): whatever you do, do NOT turn your back on this fucking demon. he’s all ready to party and get wild, and by party, he means pranking the shit out of everyone at least once. he’s already got to takemichi literally after he just stepped into the house with the classic bucket prank. takemichi seems to be his favorite target by far, partially because he’s so easy to prank. he reluctantly stops filling the water balloons with boiling hot water only because mitsuya catches him in the act. did I mention that his son of a bitch craves violence?
angry (souya): kind of becomes everyone’s therapist for tonight. he sympathetically listens to his friends’ ranting, purely because he just wants all the tea (keeping a secret? forget it. he’s gonna spill to smiley like ten seconds later anyways). during the water balloon fight, he grabs a giant nerf gun instead, which automatically makes him the winner because everyone’s desperately trying to escape his carnage. after all, he was closest to winning smiley’s paintball party last year.
koko: man I feel so sorry for this guy. everyone chooses his fancy-ass mansion for the location of their sleepover (without permission because permission is for weak ass nerds ofc ). his blood stress and headache is higher than usual, which is saying something. you know that feeling when you’ve had a busy day at school, and your backpack is so fucking heavy it’s practically killing your spine, neck and shoulders? that’s what he’s feeling right now, but worse. don’t worry, everyone trashed his house, but paying for the property damage will barely scratch his bank account.
inui: it’s a little awkward for him because he’s rarely slept over at someone else’s house (other than koko’s), and he isn’t quite close to the others yet. he pointedly avoids other people (mitsuya, who he literally whacked over the head with a baseball bat, hakkai, because he used to be taiju’s subordinate, mikey. because mikey made it very clear that he doesn’t like inui very much, and koko, because fuck you, read the manga). he sticks close to draken’s side and kind of just follows him everywhere until draken tells him to get to know the others better. that leads to him chatting quietly with takemichi, who seems to welcome him. chifuyu’s very eager to paint his nails (red, because it’s the colour of mitsuya’s blood after he got whammied in the head!). mitsuya is determined to make inui his new model project (again, much to hakkai’s envy and distress), and tries to talk to him, which makes inui avoid him because he’s worried that mitsuya’s going to confront him. luckily, it turns out that mitsuya just wants him to try on some clothes, much to inui’s relief. he ends up making some new friends!
kazutora: you thought mikey and baji was bad, huh? well kazutora is (arguably) worse. he’ll keep it civil for the first hour, only making like, 20 snide comments toward chifuyu while chifuyu is doing his nails (the only thing that’s keeping chifuyu from dumping acrylic nail polish all over on kazutora’s stupid egirl banana hair is that the nail polish was expensive as hell ). kazutora’s favorite prank victim also happens to be poor takemichi, which leads to a competition between smiley and kazutora to see who can prank takemichi the most. suffice to say, takemichi had a truly awesome horrible night.
kisaki: i’d like to make one thing clear. this bastard was NOT invited at all. he’d be a mood killer to have around anyways. even if he was, chifuyu would have killed him before he could even take a single step inside the house.
hanma: in a hypothetical turn of events, let’s just say that if hanma WAS at the sleepover (hypothetically, of course), he would be just as chaotic as smiley, except his idea of “fun” is setting something on fire with those stupid cigarettes of his (don’t smoke kids!! protect your lungs). stealing baji’s forte? not cool hanma. :/
#tokyo revengers#tokyorev#tr#tokyo revengers headcanons#takemichi hanagaki#tokyo revengers takemichi#tokyo revengers mikey#sano manjiro#tokyo revengers draken#draken#ken ryuguji#tokyo revengers baji#baji keisuke#tokyo revengers chifuyu#chifuyu matsuno#tokyo revengers mitsuya#mitsuya takashi#tokyo revengers hakkai#hakkai shiba#pah chin#tokyo revengers pachin#tokyo revengers peh yan#peh yan#tokyo revengers smiley#smiley#nahoya kawata#tokyo revengers angry#souya kawata#kokonoi hajime#tokyo revengers kokonoi
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if you had to rank your fav naruto characters how would it go? love your blog btw!!
Hmmm... Complicated ask, anon.😂
[My personal life would be splashed here and there. Please bear with me]
Before 5 months, if you asked me about Naruto, my response would be ‘What the fuck is that?’. I absolutely had no idea such a treasure existed. For me, it started out like a blockbuster movie for the sheer variety of fights and the resulting emotions it brought within me.
However, there was a point I stopped and thought, ‘Wait a fucking second. This resembles my family dynamics. This person is speaking the exact same lines I spoke to my parents few years ago. This person’s situation resembles mine. Did this creator a time traveler?’. Naruto is the only piece of media that gave me such feel. Am not even exaggerating, believe me.
I really liked so many characters very much but am going to try my best to list just 10.
The only characters I hate in this series are Danzo, Sakura and Hinata in no particular order. Meaning, I absolutely cannot see any positives in them. They are crassy, cringey and completely detestable.
FAVOURITE NARUTO CHARACTERS
10. Killer Bee
HaHaHa :-) Just seeing this character makes me smile and light-hearted.
It’s a pity that he is the only character who don’t belong to Konoha in my Top 10 rankings who was developed well apart from Gaara.
I loved him from Frame 1 onwards and I sincerely wished Team Taka should be packed up with their ass beaten up mercilessly. And that’s what happened.
Despite being a Jinchurikki, he never bothered to mind his surroundings and filled his heart with love from his over protective Brother alone was nice to watch.
He makes a great Tag Partner with Naruto next to Sasuke. No doubt.
The way Killer Bee treated Team Taka like some annoying flies and his cool and don’t care attitude was top notch. It’s not just with Sasuke, Bee treated Naruto with the same IDGAF attitude at first.
Best Moments:
Lariat punch to Sasuke (TBH, Sasuke deserved it. LOL)
Blasted off every member of Team Taka like a doll
His entire conversation and fight sequence with Kisame (Their banters and exchanges are way too hilarious)
His dynamics with his Elder Brother (God!!!! Whenever Raikage gives him an Iron Claw.... What a hilarious duo!!!!)
9. Hatake Kakashi
Kakashi was my most favourite character when I started the series for simply being ultra-cool with the way he conducted the Bell-Test and taught a valuable lesson for those bratty kids in Team 7 called ‘Team Work’.
Best Moments:
Kakashi vs Obito Hand-to-Hand Combat (the best in the series)
Kakashi in the Gaara retrieval arc (His fight with Itachi & Deidara gave a good start to the shippuden series. His Mangekyou reveal was surprising).
Kakashi & Guy teaming up with Naruto to reveal Obito in a twisty and tragic way. (Kakashi couldn’t handle the truth at all and neither did I)
Kakashi vs Zabuza (That’s when I realized that the series was getting real serious)
8. Jiraiya
Jiraiya was my next favourite to Kakashi during my Part 1 days. His open perversion and his entire dynamics with Naruto was one of the best things during the Chunin Exams arc. Taught Naruto about Chakra Control and about the way of a shinobi by just enduring. Naruto follows this even today.
Best Moments:
Kuchiyose No Jutsu training (Man, I never expected him to push Naruto off the cliff)
Rasengan Training (One of the best arcs in part 1 and it was soo satisfying to see Naruto punching his first Rasengan on Kabuto, He also acted like a quasi parent to Naruto... heartwarming)
Jiraiya Vs Six paths of Pain ( 6 vs 1 was always doomed but still he had the guts of a shinobi and plunged ahead)
7. Uchiha Madara
Geez. What is there to not like him??
Everything he did was absolutely wrong ever since he broke up with Hashirama in a romantic way much similar to how couples break up in my country.
I am an Uchiha. You are a Senju. I wish it had been different.
This roughly translates to how 75% of lovers break up and marry someone else from their own clan in my state. (Duh!!!)
I am from XXX clan, you are from XXX clan. So we can’t love each other and my parents won’t accept this relationship. So let’s break up.
Alright, my first shipping couple in this series is HashiMada for this exact reason. (I started shipping SNS only after episode 478).
Just like Hashirama, Madara had an extensive build up right from episode 1 where Kurama compares Sasuke with Madara. And flashbacks from Itachi and Tobi spiked my curiosity and I wanted to see his face so badly ever since.
But the moment he landed gracefully like a diva in episode 321.... Woaahhhh!!!! He literally danced in the battlefield and ate up 100′s of guys with just a fucking Sharingan.
Best Moments:
Going Shirtless before 1000′s of people with Hashirama’s face, no less (Well, I literally went heart-eyed for 5 minutes. Sorry Sasuke, your ancester was way much sexier than you in the Orochimaru hideout and beats you by a million points).
Screaming Hashirama’s name like a cockatoo for 300 times even till the very end (Sorry Naruto, your obsession towards Sasuke for about 6 arcs is pale in comparison to Madara’s obsession which was established in just 6 or 7 episodes.)
I have 25 clones now. Do you want me to put Susanoo or not? You can’t answer. The answer is yes. (Man, his I don’t give a fuck attitude is just an alien level thing)
Openly admitting Only Hashirama Can Beat Me (Say what you will about Sasuke, Madara has no qualms about accepting his inferiority in terms of power. An absolute Straight Forward diva-queen)
Awakening Sharingan for breaking up with his ‘friend’ rather than for his 3 dead brothers. (Geez, Poor Soul. He is the forefather of a Romantic Uchiha. That romantic blood still flows in Sasuke)
6. Senju Hashirama
Man, I would have placed him somewhere in top 5 if only he was introduced early or had more scenes. I started watching Naruto only because of this very name. There is a local podcaster in my state who goes under the alias of Senju Hashirama and in his podcasts, he hinted about this character and how he was inspired by his ideals. I just googled and saw that this character belonged to Naruto series and I considered watching it. Here I am, making analysis on that very series.
There was this excellent build up for him right when we got introduced to Captain Yamato. He was constantly referred in flashbacks from Itachi and Tobi especially.
But the moment he was reanimated again..... Geez..... It was an hilarious ride all throughout. Out of all the flashbacks we got from this series, Founders Era flashback was my absolute favourite.
From where I come from, we are still under the stupid influence of Clan infrastructure and are not growing up in many aspects like people in western countries do. For me, I hope, one day, someone like Senju Hashirama appears in our state and change our lives for better by uniting all clans as one and treats everyone equally without the shitty favouritism for their own children, friends, parents, siblings.
That’s why this dialogue struck a thunder in my heart
“Be they a friend.... Be they a sibling.... Be it even my own child. I will not forgive anyone who threatens the village.”
Because the clan leaders in our place are absolutely selfish, trash bastards who serves their own needs with no regards for other people from other clans. For a person like me, Hashirama is not just a fictional hero, he is someone who many aspires to become. No wonder that podcaster chose this name as his alias.
He rightfully deserved the title ‘God of Shinobi’. And no one can surpass him, not even Naruto.
Best Moments:
Wood Style vs Eternal Mangekyou sharingan + Kurama powered Madara (He just beats Madara’s ass by a wide margin. This shows he was a whole fucking different level than Naruto + Sasuke combined. In terms of strength, nobody surpassed him YET. Sorry Naruto and Sasuke, you guys are no match even now with your Rinnegan and Kurama lost forever).
His entire banters with Madara (ROFLLLL. Without him, it would have been just another lifeless arc.)
5. Senju Tobirama
Hmmm, let me tell you something about him.
First off, he is not a racist or fascist as many hardcore Sasuke fanatics claims. He is one of the best hokages according to me. He is abso-fucking-lutely practical, rational, logical and holds no grudge. And Sasuke resembles Tobirama with all these characteristics as compared to soft and naive Naruto. If only he had more screen time, he would be easily in my top 3.
Just because he didn’t lick the boots of Uchiha (many people’s favorite clan or may I say the only clan that was given any shit about in this series), it doesn’t make him a racist or fascist.
No, he never persecuted the Uchihas. Danzo, the crass bastard, driven off the Uchihas only after the Kyuubi incident. It was explicitly mentioned in the databook and was clearly explained in the series.
He literally gave the highest position in the village for the entire clan. That is, a military power inside a military village. ‘Shinobi who can cause crimes can only be stopped by shinobi who are even better’. In my state, if a powerful clan decided to persecute another clan, they simply start by cutting off basic amenities like Water and Electricity. Compared to what I’ve seen, Tobirama did nothing but given the Uchihas, the highest position in their village.
Orochimaru only said giving such a power made them conceited (arrogant). Tobirama had a trusted subordinate called Kagami, an Uchiha in his team. He suggested Kabuto to help Sasuke and even teleported him on his request. He even spited Madara for killing Sasuke, an Uchiha. He openly claimed Uchiha clan exceeds Senju in terms of Love. He openly appreciated Itachi and Kagami as someone who sees beyond their clan. In what world, would a racist or fascist do all this for a clan he hates???
Yes, he was cautious of Sasuke at first because he saw him with Orochimaru and even went full-on battle mode because of Sasuke’s carefree threat to destroy the village. But once he decided to go to the battlefield to fight Madara, he simply forgot everything that happened before and started to work with him as a comrade, and even helped him twice. In which world, a racist or fascist behave this way?
Believe me, a person like me who was grown with these clan politics surely can say who is a fascist. He was not. He was just cautious of them because of their ability to attain superpowers with just emotions alone. Let me ask you all this, ‘Would you be okay with people getting crazy powers whenever they are depressed?’. Being cautious is not racism. It really disrespects people who faced real oppression under fascism.
What Madara and Danzo did was a classical example of fascism.
And No, Izuna didn’t die only because of Tobirama. He died because Madara was too arrogant to instigate war with Senju clan. And this was way before forming Konoha. If Tobirama killed Izuna after the alliance between Uchiha and Senju, I would agree that he was a racist. Izuna lost his life just like any other Uchiha and Senju soldiers in that battlefield.
Just because he shitted your beloved ‘Sasuke-Kun’ doesn’t mean he is a racist too. Tobirama saw Sasuke along with that scoundrel Orochimaru who once used this very two hokages to destroy the very village they strived hard to create and protect. What will you do, if you were in his place?? Please don’t lie and say ‘I wouldn’t be judgemental’.
And Imagine you are Tobirama, Sasuke is threatening to commit genocide against the entire village who had no idea about this coup detat instead of going against those old hags. Will you sit quiet as a Hokage??
He was the first person to suggest his brother, Itama, that Revenge against Uchihas are futile. All we need is an agreement to make truce. That gave the idea for Hashirama to pursue his dream. And Tobirama was happy to follow that dream and very supportive.
It’s because of all these reasons I placed him above Senju Hashirama.
Best Moments:
Amazing power display against Sasuke & Co with just an index finger (It was a pleasure to see everyone’s face trembling with mild sweat including Sasuke).
Acted as a decoy to save his young subordinates. (The way he sacrificed his life saying young wills of fire must be protected is just Woow!! I wish his subordinates listened to his words and passed the mantle to the younger ones rather than playing game at such an old age and screwed up many lives. Pfft!!!)
Any time he says ‘Shut Up’ to Hashirama (ROFL)
His absolute ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude to Naruto, Sasuke, Hashirama, Minato and Madara (He trolled them all mercilessly and I love it)
4. Senju Tsunade
It hurts me to say that Tsunade is the only female character in my list because every other female characters were written in a much more piss poorly way. Only Konan came close to Tsunade but her role was very short.
Despite her character’s purpose revolved around another male character (Dan) and a blatant objectification of her breasts, I liked everything about her other than those mentioned above.
She is the Second Best Hokage who took Konoha right after the destruction made by Orochimaru, excellently handled the aftermath by making friendly relations with Suna (Sand village), provided her best medical support to Konoha in the Pain Arc and successfully handled the fourth Shinobi world war.
She is such a badass who developed her own original jutsu called Byakugou no Jutsu, which can heal herself.
She is just way too amazing and it’s a pity that we got very less scenes in Shippuden.
Best Moments:
Took 25+ stabs from Madara’s Susanoo like a piece of cake (Man, I simply couldn’t describe that scene. All the other Kages were shocked and even Madara too)
Lifted her advisors like a cabbage sack (Those fucking old hags deserved it. Those shits should’ve died)
Her index finger flick assault on Naruto (Aww, Naruto was definitely bratty in his first meeting and Tsunade didn’t hold back at all)
Played Orochimaru like a basketball (In that same arc, she fought Orochimaru mercilessly like a devil left and right. Someone who claimed to have surpassed Tsunade never even dared to fight Orochimaru’s student and crying for his attention after just receiving one stab from Madara. Just saying)
3. Uzumaki Naruto
Naruto is the titular character and your emotions evolve along with him. He surely deserves a spot in Top 3. The only reason I didn’t place Naruto even more higher is because he didn’t experience something very important which many characters in this list faced. That is, Losing a loved one before his eyes. Every villain in this series became what they are because they lost someone important before their eyes like Nagato, Obito. (Nope, I don’t count Neji as his loved one). I think this tests the mettle of any character and Naruto failed to experience this. The only person he ever lost was Jiraiya and that too from off-screen. That’s why I felt his journey to his dreams seemed little easier compared to the rest of the characters.
His best block of episodes will always be the part 1 Episode 1, 2, 3. Episode 1 is the character defining episode for Naruto and what he learned there will be applied everywhere till the very end of the series. He learned 3 things
Forgiveness, Empathy and Acceptance
Talk-No-Jutsu
Kage Bunshin no Jutsu
From then on, this boy wins many friends to his side, not only from Konoha but from other villages too and even made them to acknowledge his strength only through his sheer hard work.
However, there is this person, whose acknowledgement he wants the most. That person is his most important bond along with Iruka Sensei. He is none other than Sasuke. One day, Sasuke left him alone for some unavoidable reason at the end of part 1 which left a huge scar in him and he vows to bring him back to the place where he belongs. That becomes his ultimate goal rather than becoming an Hokage.
The way he goes to any extent to protect the people he cares about is just simply entertaining to watch.
Every time he makes an heroic entry to save the day was never boring, not once.
Best Moments:
Sobbing from his heart after hearing Iruka Sensei acknowledging him (It just makes me feel heavy for no reason. The anime team did an awesome job to capture his emotions convincingly)
Awakening Kyuubi Mode for the first time after seeing Sasuke die in his arms (Man, out of all the collective hatred he got from the villagers, this moment affected him a lot speaks volumes)
Punching Neji from the underground to win the Chunin exams (God, I honestly believed Naruto lost but he just surprised us heavily from nowhere. And that failure speech was just pure bliss to watch even today)
Pain Vs Naruto (One of the best arc for Naruto. Because unlike other arcs, where Naruto fought with a team, this arc he was all alone fighting a person with Rinnegan. Be it the exuberant landing from the frogs with a dramatic kabuki music, creating multi-step attacks, coming up with novel solution in that difficult situation, finally ending the conflict without killing the enemy, becoming an hero. Superb journey. The only thing I didn’t like in that arc is some shitty selfish proposal. PUKE!!)
Bearing the burdens of his most important person and die along with him (This boy always shouts he will never die until he becomes an Hokage. But for Sasuke, he was ready to die along with him in order to not leave him alone proves how much he loves him. This shows his emotional maturity rather than shouting at Sasuke like he always did before which never reached his ears. This time it did)
Final Good Bye to Minato (Honestly, I was bawling just like Naruto in that scene no matter how many times I watch it. It started out slow but as he speaks more and more, he simply couldn’t hold back and wept a sea of tears 😭😭😭)
2. Uchiha Sasuke
One of the well written characters in this series, with all the flaws and positive stuffs which makes him more of an Anti-Hero. He always subverts my preformed opinions and never ceased to surprise me.
Despite being aloof and cold, his warmer side will always be exposed towards Naruto. This is evident by many things he had done for Naruto which he don’t have to or no reason to. Starting right from roasting Sakura, offering lunch, asking for tips, enquiring about breakfast, protecting him many times and dying for Naruto.
Why I placed him above Naruto is because of his unavoidable decision to tread in a complicated dark path primarily due to the trauma he carried and was stirred up again by collective factors such as Orochimaru’s cursed seal, Itachi’s arrival and Naruto’s growth. Compared to Sasuke, Naruto had an easier path because he never saw anyone die before his eyes and hence he don’t carry any trauma which can divert his path.
Even after watching his entire clan and family members murdered before his eyes at an age 8, he managed to pull himself and never snapped out like many other good characters does. But the moment when he found out that Itachi was good all along, he simply couldn’t tolerate the truth and gave himself to Vengeance. Because, he loved his brother more than he hated him all these years. This shows he loved his brother more than his parents. His resolve to destroy Konoha was perfectly understandable. But is it good? Nope. He can kill Danzo and those old hags but killing other people was never justifiable.
But still, his resolve to have his vengeance was diverted by Naruto and weakened by Itachi, at some point. So, he decided to know the truth and when he heard it, he understood the Hokages also sacrificed many precious things to protect this village just like his Brother Itachi. He understood the mistakes of his clan and decided to protect the village which he swore to destroy. [Many Sasuke fanatics think that he succumbed to the Government and Kishi wrote Sasuke to bootlick them. Their idea was to tackle genocide with another genocide. What a stupid idea!!!!]
And No, I don’t consider him trying to kill Sakura, Karin and Kakashi as his bad moments (though I feel bad for Karin). For the simple reason being, he became a monster by losing himself in the darkness who lost the rationality to differentiate friends from foes. Much similar to how Naruto lost himself to Kyuubi’s hatred against Orochimaru and in Pain Arc. It’s so hypocritical to ignore Naruto and accuse Sasuke here. Plus, Sakura had no business to be there otherwise Sasuke would not have tried to kill her.
But does it mean Sasuke did nothing wrong???
Nope.
He definitely shouldn’t have joined Akatsuki and hunted Killer Bee like an animal. Because, he knew that Tobi was the one who helped Itachi massacre the clan. When fighting Itachi he specifically vowed to kill Madara (Tobi). On top of that, Itachi passed on Amaterasu in his eyes specifically to stay away from Tobi. Why did he ally with him? Plus, Sasuke was one of the few characters who was exposed to the name ‘Akatsuki’ in part 1 itself. He clearly knew that this organization targets Naruto, his closest bond. Why did he join there? This is where the stupid part of Sasuke came out. I was grunting... ‘Oii Where did that clever Sasuke, who faced 1000 soldiers without killing any of them, went??’.
And his plan for Revolution???? I thought it would be reasonable. But his vision was eerily similar to Danzo’s vision. Grrr..... Danzo also wanted to create his ideal village by destroying the current Hokage. He wanted to unite the Five Village and put himself on top of everyone as evident from the Kage Summit arc.
I appreciate him that he finally adopted the Will of Fire, by wanting to protect the village at all costs just like Itachi and Hashirama did. But his methods are not very democratic. Plus, he wanted to do it alone. I was screaming at him... ‘Grrr, Sasuke, did you listen to Itachi at all???. He failed because he did everything alone. Why can’t you understand????’ This is also another instance, Sasuke’s stupidity glanced out.
I am happy Naruto knocked some sense into him by telling him not to do it alone but together.
Many fanatics also ask, ‘What did Sasuke do wrong to atone for his sins at the end?’.
I was like ‘Reallly????’
He joined Akatsuki, an organization which terrorized all the 5 villages and he hunted someone like an international criminal.
He spoiled the Kage Summit and attacked Raikage who lost his arm because of him. I know what happened over there is not Sasuke’s fault. But these are the kages who was loved by many people in their own villages. How can the world forget it and simply let him go?
It’s exactly because of all those lovely stuffs he did in Part 1 and all these mistakes he did in Part 2 but willing to correct his mistakes by sharing the burdens of his other half in the end made him more interesting, complicated and exciting and that’s why I love this character.
I also have a personal bias to love this character sooo much because of the character on top of my list.
Best Moments:
Defending Naruto before Sakura (Awww!!! Such a good boy he was. Eventhough I thought he was a typical arrogant K-Drama hero, he just subverted my opinion in that one scene. I always have a thing for people who stands up for someone even though they don’t have to. This is where I started to like Sasuke)
My body moved on its own. (Is there anything that trumps this scene in terms of emotions and love in this series?. This moment is where I understood the depth of Sasuke’s emotions towards Naruto).
What is a Clan? What is a Village? What is a Shinobi? (I was really hoping for Sasuke to question himself something similar to this. Because he was so self-absorbed in his hatred and failed to look outside him ever since he left the village. It was so gratifying that he did that)
Killing Orochimaru (I always thought Sasuke will kill him only after he tries to take over the body. Never imagined that he will strike the snake first)
Killing Danzo (Man, what an amazing battle!!!. It was so gratifying to see such a crass bastard die many times over and over).
His dramatic confession through his monologue (After the mystery of Who is this Tobi, Sasuke’s obsession towards Naruto remained a mystery for me. Why did he listen to Naruto under the bridge? Why did he protected Naruto in the War? I got the answer only after this confession. It was so heartwarming to see this mellow side of Sasuke)
1. Uchiha Itachi
I could write pages about him. The foremost reason I like Itachi and earns the top spot in my rankings is because he shockingly resembled me in many ways. As I already said, I come from a place where clan politics plays a major role and when I see Sasuke’s flashback in part 1, I was simply dumbstruck by such a detailed similarities.
Elder child of the family - ✅
Have an adorable younger sister who loves me more than my parents - ✅
Same age gap (5 years) with my sister as Itachi and Sasuke - ✅
Parents paying total attention on me while ignoring my sister completely - ✅
Parents constantly comparing my achievements with my sister - ✅
A sister who bear hugged me every time I entered the home after returning from my school - ✅
Despite my mom being a teacher, my sister always prefers me to teach her stuffs as she considers me to be way too better than my mom - ✅
Love my sister more than my parents - ✅
Clan-Obsessed parents - ✅
Used me as a tool for the benefit of the clan - ✅
Sending another person from my clan to spy on me - ✅
Strained relationship with my parents - ✅
Disgusted with my clan - ✅
Most importantly, this dialogue from part 1 episode 129,
Clan? Clan?
Obsessed with the organization, Obsessed with the clan, Obsessed with the name, that’s merely the detestable action that restrict yourself.
I have given up all hope in this worthless clan
Because, people obsess themselves to their clan, a thing so petty, they lose sight of the things that are truly important.
A real change cannot occur under restraints and controls
I confronted my parents with the exact same dialogue (almost 98% similar) in my own native language some years ago.
I didn’t even know the existence of Naruto series at that time. I was simply shell-shocked by all these similarities with this character.
And Yes, The moment I heard these dialogues, I knew Itachi, was a good guy, who had a very strong reason for his actions and I instantly knew Sasuke’s revenge will not bear him any happiness.
It is exactly because of all these striking similarities of myself with Itachi, and my lil’l sister with Sasuke, my family dynamics with the Uchiha family.... I could understand the magnitude of Sasuke’s love towards Itachi.
And precisely because of that, I could understand Sasuke’s love towards Naruto is not fucking ‘brotherly’ one but something that leans towards Attraction.
No wonder, Itachi left Sasuke in Naruto’s care.
Anyways to speak objectively,
Itachi is an extremely self-sacrificial person whose life is full of pain and miseries but never blames it on the world unlike other Uchiha members like Madara, Obito and Sasuke to an extent.
He did things considering the bigger picture which never benefitted himself in anyway and was willing to go to any extent even at the expense of his own family and his brother’s happiness. That is, Uchiha Clan Massacre and Joining Akatsuki. None of this benefitted him in anyways but he did it anyway, for the village of Konoha.
His ideals are shockingly similar to Hashirama, Which Sasuke pointed this out and Hashirama acknowledged that Itachi was a better shinobi than he was. ❤️❤️❤️
Now, does this means I support Uchiha clan massacre?
No way. Even Itachi didn’t.
This massacre happened because of the huge clusterfuck from Hiruzen’s incompetence, Danzo’s paranoid arrogance, Uchiha clan’s devious plan to over throw the government by force rather than approaching it in a peaceful way, say, a peace talk or a protest.
All these people acted on their own self-interest. Itachi and Shisui caught in their whirlpool, bear their burdens and paid for it with their life. Sasuke suffered for it.
But, it’s not the only reason I love this character. It’s because, the moment he decided to massacre everyone, he marked his own death by the hands of his beloved brother. I love people who owns up their mistakes and face the consequences rather than making excuses (even though it’s not entirely his mistake).
Itachi is also the only character in this series who realized his failures on his own without anyone’s interference or Naruto’s Talk-No-Jutsu.
And he apologized for everything he did to Sasuke.
Again, some hardcore Sasuke fanatics criticize/hate him for torturing their poor ‘Sasuke-Kun’ with his Tsukuyomi. I was like ‘Hmmm...What?’.
First off, Itachi apologized to Sasuke for not thinking out from his point of view and also for not telling him the truth earlier.
Second off, Sasuke never even blamed Itachi for anything (even he didn’t hold him for killing their parents). If Sasuke himself, forgiven Itachi... Why are his fans being so rabid?
Third off, for all of his supposed ‘crimes’, he paid for it by dying as a disgraceful Madman rather than a Hero who really saved the village. He is someone who should be celebrated like Naruto but instead died proudly as a Traitor of Konoha.
All in all, One of the wonderfully written character I have ever seen in the media.
Best Moments:
Itachi vs Sasuke (That battle was a pure brilliance and highly emotional especially after knowing the truth. When Sasuke released his Kirin, Itachi showed off his ultimate armour Susanoo like a badass. Seeing Susanoo for the first time gave me chills. No, Sasuke didn’t kill him. Itachi died on his own)
Itachi vs Orochimaru (Man, Itachi may look mellow but when it comes to Orochimaru he is a pure Sass. He screwed that snake up both the times by a wide margin. It seems Uchiha brothers like to fuck up Orochimaru, LOL)
Talk-No-Jutsu’ing Naruto (Geez, Naruto was being completely bratty and was full of saviour complex like he was going to bear everyone’s hatred by himself. I was almost annoyed. Thanks to Itachi, he realised. Probably he is the only character to shut Naruto using his own jutsu)
Izanami’ing Kabuto (Other than Naruto, he is the only character to go out of his way to empathize with a villain and put extreme effort to change him. I think this is why Sasuke loves Naruto, for seeing these similarities??? ).
Goodbye to Sasuke (The first time when he said ‘Forgive me, Sasuke. This is the last’ by poking his forehead and finally closing the distance by butting with Sasuke’s head softly saying ‘I will love you always’.... It always evokes uncontrollable tears in me, no matter how many times I watch it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭)
HONOURABLE MENTION
Uchiha Obito
God, Am such a sucker for Uchiha guys individually, though collectively as a clan they fucked up big time. I simply couldn’t find the place for him in the top 10. He is a classic example of What Naruto will be like if he becomes a villain?
However, all those horrible stuffs he did just for a girl whom he had a crush on which was never reciprocated seems childish. That’s why I couldn’t put him in Top 10.
And his understandable but weird obsession on Naruto was always enjoyable to watch.
One cute thing I liked about him was, whatever criminal stuffs he may have done, he was never a cheapskate though. He had every chance to take back Kakashi’s Sharingan to activate his own Susanoo. But he never even thought of such an idea. He was a bad guy. But a good friend, no matter what.
Pure Baby!!! But lost his way!!!
Best Moments:
Importance of Team Work (’In the ninja world, Those who break the rules are scum. But those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum’. This very legacy he left to Kakashi came to defeat him later. And Naruto follows this motto even today)
Sacrificing his Sharingan (’I am giving you my Sharingan. No matter what the villagers say, you are a great Jonin. Please take it’. Awww!!! Obito. He left his Sharingan which helped Kakashi to complete a jutsu called ‘Chidori’, which is a go-to jutsu of Sasuke)
Thanks for the ask, anon. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this. ❤️
#ask#itachi#itachi uchiha#sasuke#sasuke uchiha#naruto#naruto uzumaki#hashirama#tobirama#hashirama senju#tobirama senju#madara uchiha#madara#killer bee#kakashi#jiraiya#tsunade#obito#obito uchiha
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Casual Ruin Pt. 3 (Elriel)
Elain’s part of the Damnation Series.
Part 1 | Part 2
God help yall this shit was a rollercoaster to write
________________________________________________
~Elain~
For a second, no one breathes, let alone moves.
Azriel’s hands are steady as he grips the gun, body lined with tension, eyes so cold I shiver. The barrel’s close enough that if I leaned forward an inch, it’d brush my forehead.
The man next to him holds a cigarette halfway to his mouth, looking at me like he’s never seen a woman before and has absolutely no idea what to do.
And me? I’m frozen in place, horror rushing through my veins and mixing with the shock to create a nauseating cocktail I’m not sure I’ll survive.
It’s the brutalized man in the chair slumping over and hitting the floor with a loud thud that finally snaps us out of our momentary haze.
Azriel blinks and throws the gun to the side so hard it makes a dent in the wall, the stranger drops his cigarette and reaches for me, and I sprint like my fucking life depends on it. Because at this point, I’m pretty sure it might.
What the hell did I walk into?
I race up the stairs toward the garage, where less than a minute ago, I’d heard Azriel’s voice and gone to surprise him. By the look on his face when he turned around, I’d at least succeeded in that.
I can practically feel the man behind me, can tell he’s reaching a hand out to grab me.
I’ve never been a violent person in my life, but with the amount of adrenaline coursing through me, I don’t even question the urge to use the wine bottle in my hands as a weapon.
It breaks over the man’s head, but unlike in the movies, he doesn’t go down immediately. However, he does lose his balance enough that with a firm shove to his chest, he goes crashing back down to the hellhole I’m running from.
I make it to the garage and slam the door to the basement closed, locking it for good measure. Then I drag the heavy workbench next to the line of pristine cars over in front of it for even better measure.
I refuse to let myself stop and think, because I’m pretty sure if I do, I’ll break down into a pool of tears and never get up. I’m running on nothing but adrenaline, and I know I’ll crash soon, but I force myself to keep going.
For a moment, I’m tempted to steal one of the cars to get away, but the sound of angry Italian shouts behind the locked door makes me hesitant to waste any more time.
I also definitely don’t have time to call the cab driver that dropped me off and beg him to come back.
The fear and terror don’t give me time to doubt myself as I take my heels off, take off up the driveway, and pray I’m fast enough to escape the devil on my trail.
~Azriel~
“Get that goddamn door open,” I shout at Luca, who’s dripping wine all over the place and has a gash on his forehead from where little Elain Archeron shoved him down the stairs.
I almost fucking shot her in the head. Her.
Dolcezza mia. The girl I’m stupidly obsessed with. The one who’s always quick to smile--the same one who sighs when I kiss her and lights up when I walk into the room.
I almost shot her between those beautiful brown eyes, almost snuffed them out forever.
I run a hand over my face, listening to the sound of Luca throwing himself into the door repeatedly. “I’m trying, boss, but I think she pulled something in front of the door.”
Smart.
Fucking annoying as hell, but smart.
If I wasn’t so damn pissed at myself for not locking the basement door behind me and allowing her to find us down here, I’d be mildly impressed.
Two of the most dangerous men in Italy, trapped in the basement like idiots.
I pull up the app to track her phone--which was originally for her safety, not because I’m a complete stalker--and see that she’s on foot, going behind the houses instead of down the road. She probably thinks I’ll drive by her while she gets away right under my nose.
“Fuck,” I mutter, sending out a text to all my neighbors to tell them not to shoot the beautiful young woman trespassing through their properties. She has no idea the people around us have security systems better than the President’s. “Luca!”
“Working on it,” he grunts back.
“If that shit isn’t open in the next twenty seconds, you’re going in the incinerator after this asshole,” I warn, nudging the dead body on the floor with a boot.
The threat must work, because a second later, there’s a loud bang and the telltale sound of the workbench from my garage toppling over. “Got it!”
I storm up the stairs and tell him, “Run interference with the neighbors and local police. Anyone talks-”
“Got it,” he interrupts, grabbing his phone to start threatening people.
Pulling up the app again, I track the path she’s on, curse when I see she’s headed to the bus station about a mile from here, and take off after her.
Technically, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if she got away. She’d probably go to the police and tell them what she saw, not knowing that Marco, the deputy on duty, has been on my payroll since the day he passed the police entrance exam.
Having done her civic duty, she’d probably try to recover from the trauma of what she saw, eventually finish her classes and move on, and leave. Forgetting all about me in the process.
Technically, for her, this option would not be the worst thing in the world.
But in my head, it feels worse than being stabbed. In my head, there isn’t a question about it.
I’m going after her.
There’s this weird, itchy feeling in my chest I’ve never felt before as I run and run and try not to think about the look on her face as she saw the body fall to the floor.
I realize the feeling in my chest as panic, something I haven’t felt since I was a teenager getting booked for stealing my first car.
She knows.
She knows, and the look on her face... she looked at me like I’m a monster.
And fuck, maybe that’s true. Maybe I am beyond saving.
But having her look at me, and having her take away the easy smiles and bright eyes I’d grown strangely accustomed to... it feels like being robbed.
And it makes me panic.
So I’ll chase her, and catch her, and do whatever I have to do to get her back.
Because I need her, and damn if I’m going at this alone.
After a surprising amount of time, I see the thin outline of her off in the distance, sprinting like the devil himself is chasing her.
I take a deep breath and try to stay quiet, but it’s hopeless. Like she’s the one with the tracker on me, she can tell the second I’m close. I can see it from the way her shoulders go stiff and her pace increases.
“Elain!”
I call out again for her to stop, because I don’t want to tackle her and risk hurting her. She ignores me and keeps running, turning behind the coroner of one of my dealer’s house.
That sticky, awful, panicky feeling in my chest grows as she disappears from sight, and without thinking, I follow.
Which, if I had been thinking, I never would’ve done, because shit like this leaves you open to attack.
Which reminds me: I’ve now broken all three rules for this woman, because I don’t have a single weapon on me to defend us if something happens.
I hit the ground hard enough the wind rushes out of me and my stupid brain rattles around in my stupid skull.
Blinking through the blur, I look up to find Elain standing over me with an empty metal trashcan raised like a bat, ready to strike again.
I need to explain, need to talk to her, but all I can seem to say is her name.
“Elain,” I croak, trying to force air down my lungs.
As my vision clears, I notice she’s crying, beautiful face streaked with tears and dirt.
She pauses and looks at me, like the sight of me knocked on my ass hurts her just as much as it does me, then shakes her head to clear it.
She throws the trash can at me and turns to flee, but I know I can’t let her go, at least not like this. Grabbing her ankle, I yank her down to me, making sure she lands on me instead of the ground.
She screams, the sound scraping away another layer of the trust we’d built, and I don’t think I’ve ever been so desperate in my life. Elain flails around, but I use my weight to pin her, trying not to hurt her.
She has to let me explain. She has to.
I hate what I’m about to do, but the only other option I have is making her pass out the old fashion way, which I know I could never bring myself to do.
The second the needle goes into her neck, she goes stiff underneath me, looking at me with wide, panicked eyes.
“You drugged me,” she sobs, the betrayal in her voice making my chest hurt.
I brush the hair off her face, press my forehead to hers, and start telling her things I haven’t told another living soul.
I’ll never hurt you.
I’m sorry.
~Elain~
Am I dead?
Why does it feel like I got hit by a bus?
Where am I?
These three questions rattle around in my brain at the same time, all demanding answers, as soon as I open my eyes.
And the weird part is... I don’t have any.
I have no idea if I’m alive or dead, but the headache I have that seems permanently settled behind my eyes points to the latter.
I blink the haze in my brain away and realize I’m at my house in bed, but my extend of knowledge seems to stop there.
There’s a voice in my head whispering something, but it’s too quiet for me to understand what she’s saying. All I know is that I feel like I need to do something, need to get out of here.
I rub my sore eyes and see there’s a note on the bedside table, written in precise, calm handwriting I recognize better than my own.
Come downstairs.
He’s here? I thought I went to his house, not the other way around.
The blinds are closed, but when I make my way to the window and peak out, I see a dark night sky, the moon reflecting off the water and making everything seen calm.
What the hell happened to me?
I start to leave the room, intent on going downstairs and asking Azriel that very question.
Except as I’m passing by my closet, I see something.
Something small and so inconsequential, I almost don’t think anything about it.
Like I’m in a dream, I feel myself walk over to the corner of the room. I feel my knees hit the floor, see my finger extend to the floor and touch the tiny drop of liquid that caught my eye.
I pull back and look, and somehow, I’m not surprised to see that it’s blood.
The floors are dark enough I shouldn’t have been able to see it from so far away, but it’s like a part of me was looking for it.
And that’s when it comes back to me.
Coming to surprise him, seeing the door in his garage, going downstairs... I press a hand to my mouth and squeeze my eyes shut, trying to fight the tidal wave of nausea washing over me.
I remember seeing the blood first and wondering if someone was hurt, then coming further into the room to find myself in the middle of a nightmare. If I wasn’t so strangely sure it had been real, I would think it was a horror movie.
The man strapped down had been so brutalized, I doubt I would’ve recognized him even if I’d known him my whole life.
I remember running without a thought more, giving into the fight or flight impulse to get the hell out of there.
I remember hitting Azriel, seeing him fall to the ground and looking up at me with those deep, wounded eyes that will haunt me more than the torture he inflicted on that poor man.
Eyes that told me everything and nothing at the same time.
I remember looking into those eyes and crying at the pain in them that was surely reflected in my own.
And then nothing.
Why don’t I remember? How did I get back here?
I’m sorry.
I finally recall that last whispered promise, and if I hadn’t already been sitting on the floor, I would’ve fallen to my knees as I realize what happened.
He drugged me.
Azriel, the same man who slow-danced with me in an empty restaurant and drove me along the coast and held me in his sleep, drugged me.
And he’s downstairs.
I start to hyperventilate, because I don’t know what to do or what he’s planning to do. Why is he still here?
What am I going to do? Should I call the cops?
I realize I don’t have my phone, probably a countermeasure on his part.
I also realize there’s no way for me to run. I remember how fast he’d caught me, how easy it had been for him to render me useless.
There’s no escaping him. Not if he’s already down there waiting, evil plan cooking in his mind.
I have no other option, unless I want to stay in this room for the rest of my life.
So with confidence I don’t feel, I walk downstairs.
I find him sitting at my breakfast table, leaning back casually and sipping a cup of coffee despite the late hour.
The moonlight clings to him like it loves him, playing off of his sharp cheekbones and illuminating his features. His face is carefully blank, but there’s a flicker of something as he looks at me, something that seems almost like relief.
He’s calm and collected and everything I’m not, and it pisses me off. My world’s on fire, yet he’s sitting here like nothing’s wrong? And he’s drinking my coffee?
I stomp over to grab the stolen drink, then sit across from him and cross my arms.
And wait.
Because I sure as hell am not talking first.
He stayed because he has something to say. I don’t have anything to say to him.
For a long time, we just stare at each other, because he’s apparently playing by the same rules.
Then he accepts his defeat, sighs, and asks, “Why did you come to my house last night?”
I purse my lips, narrow my eyes, and try to stop myself from throwing the coffee in his face.
Because he said that almost like an accusation.
Like the problem is that I came over unannounced, not that he was torturing someone.
“I’m not justifying that with a response,” I eventually tell him.
He gives me a hard look. “Answer the question.”
Something about the entirely male way he demanded that, like he expects a response immediately, makes me tilt my head and ask so sweetly I almost choke, “Why? Are you going to torture me if I don’t?”
He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, showing the first sign of imperfection I’ve ever seen from him. “What you saw-”
“Was horrifying, and I don’t want to talk about it.”
He acts like I didn’t even speak. “-was something I meant to keep private from you.”
I don’t tell him that’s pretty fucking obvious at this point.
Instead I ask, “Why?”
I’m not sure why I want to know, but it suddenly feels important.
He doesn’t takes his eyes off of me as he says, “Because you’re you. You shine so brightly it should be illegal, and you look at the world like it isn’t a terrible place. I didn’t want to take that from you.”
My throat feels uncomfortably tight all the sudden, but I clear it and say, “Well, you did.”
His jaw clenches, and he looks down. “I know. If I could go back and walk away, I would. Shit, I told myself I would more times than I can count. But I just... couldn’t. And I couldn’t tell you either. I wanted to, but I didn’t know how, Elain.”
The sound of my name on his lips makes my heart finally start beating again, but I still call him on his lie. “That isn’t why you never told me. You never told me because you knew I’d hate you the second you did.”
“Maybe,” he admits, looking back up at me. “But now you know, and I’m glad you do. You know everything now.”
It’s my turn to look down, because while I’d wanted to know the real him, I’d never imagined I’d find something like this.
“No, I don’t. I don’t know anything, because you haven’t explained anything.”
He tilts his head. “What needs explaining?”
I ask the obvious question. “Who do you work for?”
“Myself.”
Once again, I don’t feel like justifying that with a response. He still isn’t saying anything that explains what I saw or why he’d do that to someone.
If he isn’t going to say anything meaningful, I’m not having this conversation.
Eventually, he seems to realize this. Because he says, “I’m Capo of the Sicilian Outfit of the Cosa Nostra, Elain.”
I bite my lip so hard I taste blood, trying to keep my emotions in check. I don’t know how to feel, other than confused and angry.
“Any other questions?”
“Why did you drug me?”
If he just wanted to talk, he could’ve dragged me back to his place or maybe just say that. Not chase me down like a rapid animal.
“You were panicked, and I didn’t want to hurt you. I needed time to explain, needed to tell you this was never the plan.”
There’s something else there, and I narrow my eyes in a silent demand for him to continue.
Azriel sighs and admits, “My neighbors are business associates-” aka fellow criminals, “and I didn’t want them to hear you yelling and come to... investigate-” aka kill me, “or watch me get knocked unconscious by a twenty-four year old woman with a trash can.”
I give him a smug smile, more than ready to give him a repeat of that show, and try to decide what else to ask.
But before I get the chance, he says, “I don’t see why this changes anything.”
My mouth falls open.
He doesn’t see- is he serious? “You’re joking.”
“I’m not known for my humor.”
I’m still stunned into silence, so he tilts his head and asks, “Why does it matter? Why does what I do make me a different person?”
When I don’t answer, he says, “It doesn’t. Nothing I do will ever come near you. You won’t ever have to see it again. I promise.”
“It’s not about seeing it! It’s about knowing what you do when we’re not together. You kiss me goodbye, then go home and... there is absolutely no way I can go back to what we were doing before. You killed someone, Azriel.”
He straightens his cufflinks and shoots back, “He deserved it, Elain.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“I have a feeling you’re about to tell me.”
“First off, murder is illegal. So is torture, which from the way that man looked, you’d definitely been inflicting on him. Not only is it illegal, it’s wrong! He was an innocent human being-”
“He wasn’t innocent.”
I keep going. “You aren’t judge, jury, and executioner! You-”
He’s on me before I can finish, sliding a hand over my mouth and leaning over my chair.
God, the man is fast. Has he always been that fast, or have I just never noticed?
“Let me explain something to you, Elain. On this island, I am. I decide who’s guilty, which he confessed to being. I decide the punishment, which was a bullet to the brain. I’m the executioner, and I pull the trigger myself, because I’m not a fucking coward.”
I fight his hold, trying to push him away, but he doesn’t even budge.
“I play by different rules, bellissima. Just because you’ve never been exposed to them, or my world, doesn’t mean it hasn’t always existed. I’m the judge, jury, executioner, and the goddamn king.”
A shiver goes down my spine at his words.
He pushes my head back, forcing me to meet his eyes. “And it doesn’t matter.”
I shake my head, bite his finger, push at his chest. But it doesn’t do any good.
“It doesn’t matter, because like I said, we live in two different worlds. I’d never let mine impact yours.”
I want to tell him that isn’t the problem, but his hand is still on my mouth.
“Have you even asked yourself why you’re not afraid?” he asks out of the blue, surprising me.
I stare blankly at him, no longer fighting, waiting for whatever he’s about to say.
“You’re scared of what I do, but you aren’t scared of me. Not really. If you were, you never would’ve come down those stairs.”
That’s why he looked relieved, I realize. He was worried I’d be scared of him.
Everything he’s saying makes sense, which makes no sense at all.
Because if he’s right, and he certainly seems to think he is, it begs the question... why aren’t I scared of him?
He seems to see my ask myself that, because he answers it a second later.
Eyes growing softer, he murmurs, “It’s because you know I’d never hurt you, nor would I let anyone else.”
I remember him whispering that right before I passed out. I’ll never hurt you.
He comes so close I can see the individual flecks of green in his dark hazel eyes. “I may do terrible things, and I’d do terrible things for you, Elain, but I’d never do them to you.”
“So you aren’t afraid. Just angry,” he concludes. Then he looks at me like he did the other day in the sea behind his house, right before he called me his. “Do you know why you’re angry, Elain?”
Currently, it’s because he’s explaining my emotions to me, which has to be the most male, obnoxious thing that’s ever happened in all of history.
But I have a feeling that isn’t what he’s talking about.
And I have another feeling that I’m not going to like what he’s about to say.
I take another glance at the look in his eyes and realize what he means, starting to fight again. I push at his chest and hands and try to get him to not say the words I know he’s going to.
It doesn’t work.
“You’re upset,” he says a moment later, slow and sure like always, “because I lied to you. You feel betrayed, like you don’t know me. But that isn’t why you’re angry.”
One hand on my face, the other in my hair, he holds me perfectly still as he whispers, “You’re angry because you were falling for me.”
I press my eyes closed, trying not to hear the words he’s saying as if that’ll make them any less true.
But it doesn’t, because they are true.
Every easy smile, midnight whisper, and lingering kiss he’s given me in the past month has given him a permanent place in my heart, and it hurts to have that all feel like a lie.
It hurts to look at him and not know if I recognize the person holding me.
A sob escapes me, which seems to confirm what he said, and he takes his hand off my mouth to wipe away a tear.
His brow comes to rest against mine, and I breathe him in, unable to stop myself.
There’s a war happening inside me, and it distracts me enough I don’t stop him from pulling me closer.
My heart plays me a montage of the past month, showing me countless moments where I’d been so positive I’d found paradise, so positive I’d found someone I could trust completely. It tells me Azriel has always felt like home, like something so inexplicably right I don’t even know how to describe it.
But my brain reminds me the hands cupping my cheeks softly are covered in blood and gunsmoke and victims’ tears. It tells me I’ve never really known the man I’m currently begging myself not to have feelings for.
The battle inside of me rages on, and I cry harder, not even knowing who I want to win.
It only gets harder to choose as he murmurs, “Ance io mi sto innamorando di te.”
I’m falling for you, too.
I don’t know what to do or feel or think, and I’m so helplessly confused it makes me want to scream.
Yet even though I’m confused, something about this makes sense. Something about knowing what he really does for a living makes everything in my head just click.
The way he’d redirect the conversation whenever I asked about his job. The way I’d always suspected him of hiding something about himself from me. The way every movement he’s ever made with me has been lined with restraint.
He could hurt me, has had the opportunity for months, but he never has. He’s always been careful with me, has always held and looked at me like I’m something precious to him.
My brain starts shifting to his side of the argument, and I can feel my morality ripping to shreds under his hands.
Before I can think, I shove him away, getting to my feet to point at the door. “Get out. You lied to me. You’re a murderer. A monster.”
Feelings or not, I know I can’t do this. I can’t just ignore what I saw, what he’ll continue to do. So he needs to leave.
He doesn’t.
Azriel just leans against the kitchen island counter and pulls out a cigarette, lighting it as he watches me for a long moment.
“Maybe I am,” he says eventually around a mouthful of smoke. “But just because I’m a monster, Elain, doesn’t mean I can’t give you what we both know you need. Nothing has to change.”
It already has.
“I don’t need anything from you.”
“No?”
“No.”
He prowls toward me, the intent shining so clear in his eyes I take a step back for every one he takes forward. My back hits a wall, and he traps me between it and himself, caging me in with strong arms.
The line between right and wrong, good and evil, seems to blur as he gets closer and closer, and by the time we’re sharing air, I don’t know which way is up. All I know is him.
He takes a deep inhale of his cigarette, tips my head back with his thumb, and then breathes the smoke into my mouth.
It should be disgusting, considering I don’t smoke and make it a point to avoid cancer-causing products in general.
It should be. But it isn’t.
It’s the opposite of disgusting.
There’s a buzz in my veins that has nothing to do with the nicotine, and I realize too late that he’s the vice I can’t quit.
I’m too far gone, too addicted already.
He pulls back slightly, tucking the still-burning cigarette behind his ear. His eyes burn with intensity, and his dark hair and shoulders are surrounded by the smoke clinging to his shoulders like a shadow.
He looks like the villain of a movie I never even knew I wanted to watch, and it physically pains me to have him this close and not be touching him, so I put my hands on his chest, fingers fisting in the expensive material of his suit.
His are on the wall by my head, bracing himself as he leans in and slowly licks a line across my lower lip, like he’s tasting me.
My want for him is a tangible thing, and I have to ask myself if he’s right. Does it matter what he does, when he makes me feel like no one else ever has? Do I care enough to stay away from him?
“You don’t need me?” he asks again, so close his lips brush against mine.
I shake my head, even though I know it isn’t the truth. I do need him, and that’s why this hurts so damn bad. Why this betrayal cuts so deep.
Even though we’re so close he’s nothing but a blur, I can feel his eyes on me, burning a hole through me.
And then he says something that changes everything.
“Well, I need you,” he whispers, so softly it breaks my heart.
I’m lost.
I’m so goddamn lost in him, I forget everything we were talking about, forget everything he’s done.
My knees go weak, and I cling to him, pulling him into me as I slip down the wall.
His lips crash against mine, and I know instantly that this is him. This is all of him. I finally know exactly who he is, and he doesn’t have to hide anymore.
It’s probably our hundredth kiss, but it feels like the first, and I’m drunk on it, drunk on him.
Hands in my hair, he kisses me like he wasn’t lying--like he needs me.
My hands pull tighter, until there’s not an inch between us, and he makes a low sound in his throat. His are on my waist, gripping me tightly and telling me he wants this just as much as I do.
The restraint from before is all but gone, and I tremble at how much power is in his grasp, how small and fragile it makes me feel in comparison.
My willpower crumples further, like a napkin in his fist, as his tongue teases mine, making me chase him for more.
Azriel pulls my lower lip between his teeth, pulling it between us as he draws back. It’ll be bruised tomorrow, but a sick part of me likes that he’s leaving his mark on me.
“Say it,” he say roughly, voice deep and scratchy with lust.
I don’t get a change to say it, or anything else, before he’s kissing me again, running his hands up my back and into my hair.
“Say it,” he demands again.
Maybe I’m not as lost as I thought, because I know what he wants but stay silent, refusing to give it to him.
Because I can’t.
Everything he said tonight makes sense, but I just... can’t.
He kisses me again, a lingering kiss that makes my chest ache, and almost pleads, “Say it, Elain. Say it doesn’t matter. Say you need me.”
The air grows thick as I stay silent, because it’s response enough.
His eyes narrow, and even though everything inside me begs me to, I don’t stop him as he steps away.
“Only two more months here, and you want to spend them lying to yourself?”
I hadn’t even thought about the fact that I’m leaving so soon, but I don’t let myself get distracted. “I’m not lying to anyone.”
Except it feels like I am.
A smile pulls on his lips, but it isn’t friendly. “You’re fucking lying, and you know it. You know it doesn’t matter, you just can’t admit it, because then you’d be like me.”
Heart pounding, I shake my head, but he keeps going. “Fucking a monster would be condoning the devil’s work, right?”
He takes a step in, catching my wrists as I try to push him back, pinning them above my head, and laughing.
“You saying you don’t want me is the most pathetic lie I’ve ever heard, carro. ”
“Azriel-”
Mouth next to my ear, he growls, “You’re really telling me if I slip my hand between your pretty thighs, I won’t find you wet and ready for me?”
I push against his hands and look away, all the confirmation he needs.
He tsks, feigning disappointment.
I close my eyes and fight my response to him with everything I have. I try to tell myself it matters, that what he does disgusts me, but it doesn’t sound believable to even myself at this point.
“I could prove it to you, make you come right here and now, but I don’t think I will.”
I’m breathing heavily, two seconds from passing out at the intensity and violence in his voice.
“I think the next time I fuck you, Elain, you’re going to have to tell me you need me just as much as I need you. You’re going to tell me you want me, and you’re going to beg me for more.” He licks up the side of my neck, and I press my lips together to hold in the moan that wants to escape. “You’re going to tell the goddamn truth, and you’re going to fucking apologize for lying to me in the first place.”
I glare at him, silently conveying that that will never happen. He lied to me. I’m not apologizing for shit.
He sees that and everything else in my gaze, and he shakes his head slowly.
“I’ll get your confession, Elain,” he promises, going to the door and almost ripping it off its hinges as he opens it. “I always do.”
___________________________________________________
Part 4
@perseusannabeth @cursebreaker29 @a-bit-of-a-cactus @elriel4life @girl-who-reads-the-books @shinya-hiiragi @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @bamchickawowow @live-the-fangirl-life @ireallyshouldsleeprn @nahthanks @highqueenofelfhame @autophobiax @rowaelinismyotp @ghostlyrose2 @lovemollywho @inardour @tillyrubes10 @claralady @tswaney17 @rowanisahunk @superspiritfestival @thegoddessofyou @awesomelena555 @booksofthemoon @greerlunna @jlinez @studyliketate @over300books @justgiu12 @maastrash @aesthetics-11 @b00kworm @sleeping-and-books @musicmaam @hizqueen4life @maybekindasortaace @elorcan-trash @loosingdreams @januarystears @emikadreams @swankii-art-teacher @thedarkdemigod @full-tilt-diva @biggestwingspan-az @bookstantrash @mari-highladyof-feels @pilesofriles @teddytdr
#acotar#acomaf#acowar#acofas#acosf#a court of mist and fury#a court of thorns and roses#acomaf fanfiction#acotar fanfiction#elaine irwin#azriel#elriel#elriel fanfiction#elain x azriel#elain x azriel fanfiction
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Deconstructing baseless Harry Potter arguments #1: Harmony Edition
There’s a very helpful account on instagram (this instagram page merely gathers toxic harmony shippers, they don’t ship Harmione or hate all Harmione shippers, please don’t send them hate, show them love and support) where you can essentially find stupid fucking bashers who make baseless arguments. I’m all for Harmione shippers, as long as they don’t denounce Romione, bash Ron and just peacefully co-exist. To my pleasure, such people are out there: they just dont seem to be seen as often as the ones that are not nice. Maybe all I see is the mean people and the majority is nice, but in this post, I am attacking those who make baseless claims and bash Ron/Romione/Hinny/Ginny. I don’t myself hate all Harmione shippers. On top of that, as a Romione/Ron fan, i do acknowledge Ron’s character flaws along with Hermione’s and I hold them on the same pedestal.
This is copied directly from my own instagram page, granger.weasley_ on ig.
Anyways let's get deconstructing
1)
rebuttal:
Yeah okay mf; maybe don’t compare real-life relationships with fucking fictional ones. Your relationship going wrong has nothing to do with Ron/Hermione. It has everything to do with you and your ex: the *real life* people involved in it.
2)
rebuttal:
The weird subreddits and discord servers also seem to have a lot of die-hard Harmione “non-canon” shippers. They bash Ron and Romione (along with Ginny and Hinny) with a burning passion without any objective sense of remorse. They ignore all the merits of Ron’s character and bash him to push their agenda. They can’t even do so much as fucking acknowledge any of Hermione’s character flaws but still somehow manage to fixate on that one time when 11 year old Ron just shit-talked one line while Hermione had just publicly humiliated him in front of the Charms class and practically shouted at him for doing the spell wrong just before. I personally don’t because Hermione was 11 too and wasn’t that good at social cues that early on, which is more than okay. Neither am I.
Only a few people in the Romione fandom bash Hermione. And it’s not like Harmione shippers (most, not all!) don’t bash Ron and Ginny remorselessly, right? The fucking hypocrisy.
If someone considers Ron as the best member of the trio, it is their own opinion and not a fact. I do that. If you consider Harry and Hermione as the best member of the trio or in the whole wizarding world, most people don’t give a flying fuck and probably won’t argue with you because it is simply an opinion. That will only happen when you pass that off as a fact.
Statistically speaking, most (not FUCKING all) Harmione moments are in the movies. The weird dance scene especially. The passionate kiss that happens in Ron’s vision, shit like that. Ron is pushed to the sidelines in the last set of movies while Harry and Hermione show each other endless love and support. “I’ll go with you”. The books on the other hand, describe Harry and Hermione as siblings multiple times, with very little Harmione references.
3)
rebuttal:
So you don't want us to fixate on the large majority of Harmione shippers who do the exact same thing, just kissing Hermione's and Harry's ass and hating on Ron. However you will fixate on people who are most likely not EVEN bashing or hating but pointing out a few character flaws in Hermione in a fair and unbiased way. I would know, I'm a huge fan of Hermione as an individual character (in the books). The only criticism I've seen of Hermione to this day has not been bashing. In the comment section of my own fics (shameless plug) I've seen some Hermione bashing. On an ao3 comment section. And I've seen so damn fucking many people bashing Ron, Ginny, the Weasleys etc. and garner tens and thousands of upvotes on quora.
What does Ron even need excusing for? The running away incident and Krum. What does Hermione need excusing for? Canaries, contributing to Ron's insecurities by making him jealous through Cormac and Krum even though she didn't even like them (especially not Cormac, she fucking hated him). Ron wore a locket that literally highlighted his fatal flaw (insecurity) in an echo chamber. Harry kept getting annoyed when Ron wanted to check in on his family. Harry asked Ron to leave; Ron didn't say that shit in the books about Harry's parents being dead: that was plain shock value.
And sorry for repeating myself but I have seen quite a few Harmione shippers bash Ron and Ginny and excuse every single thing Harry and Hermione have done.
4)
37 upvotes on this weird comment that makes no sense? Echo chamber alert! You know what us Romione/Ron fans all have in common? We have never experienced such an echo chamber. I made a pro Ron/Romione post on reddit and got a considerable amount of people who bashed Ron and Romione in the comments.
The amount of Hermione haters is very few compared to Ron bashers. Nobody hates Hermione for being independent, determined, etc. We dislike perfect movie Hermione who’s an unrealistic image of females and seems like some sort of agenda than a real woman. Most Romione shippers/Ron fans and book fans in general (except for you apparently) dislike movie Hermione and still are fans of realistic book Hermione. Most, not all. In general, we do not claim anyone who does the exact same thing to Harry and Hermione that these sorts of Harmione shippers do to Ron, Romione, Hinny and Ginny. I say this on the behalf of all Romione shippers and Ron fans.
Ron's not a bitchy lay-about drama causing loser. That's Steve Kloves's movie Ron. In the books Ron is realistic and simplistic and apologizes whenever he causes problems. He acts up substantially twice in a span of 7 years where he is also a hormone-fuelled teenager.
This is so contradictory and juxtaposed to the point of near delusion. First you talk about how Romione shippers bash Hermione and then you bash Ron as a Harmione shipper. Mate, fighting fire with fire will get you called a hypocrite. Fix yourself.
5)
So the movies are fine when they work according to your agenda? And yes how dare he add such a (fake) chemistry fuelled moment between Harry and Hermione while defeating the entire purpose and groundwork for Romione, the sadness caused by Ron leaving and so many more things? Those Harmione moments you mention seem friendship -esque more than anything else.
Steve Kloves's moments ruined many things while just paying fan service to the Harmione fans he'd birthed through years in the course of 6 movies where he showed Ron as a, how you so eloquently describe it, lay - about drama causing bitchy loser, Harry as one dimensional and Hermione as a zero - dimensional Mary Sue who might as well be the main titular character. Obviously Harmione fans such as yourself don't see the problem with it as it fits your narrative
6)
We do care about Harry and Hermione at large. Most Romione shippers rightfully bash Draco, Pansy, etc. not particularly Harry and Hermione, that's quite rare. Harry and Hermione can get along without Ron as friends. Ron and Harry can also get along without. Hermione as friend. So can Hermione and Ron without Harry as friends or more. I don't understand your point and how what you said is any different than Romione or Ronarry’s friendship.
7)
Constant arguing is not what they do. They bicker, they apologize, and sometimes they just do it for the heck of it. They are argumentative teenager. Opposites attract doesn't work in the sense of fire and ice, it works in the case of Brownie and ice-cream. Ron is passionate, laid back and insecure. Hermione's passionate, a workaholic and not as insecure. Ron can help her get calm and composed and get her to give herself a break. Hermione can motivate Ron and re - enforce his confidence.
It wouldn't be step incest. Harry and Ginny do not regard each other as siblings. They do not look similar whatsoever. And a Harmione shipper also bashes Hinny and Ginny along with Ron and Romione? Checks out
" that fucked up Harmony" hahaha. What?
8)
Are you literally going to date someone on the basis of what Harry Potter ships they prefer? That is so shallow end depraved. Your Harry Potter ship preferences should not be the groundwork for your dating life. Please understand that. Harry Potter is a fictional world which is not real. Hogwarts doesn't exist. Magic doesn't exist. I sound like a Dursley but that's what it is: a fictional realm with fictional character. I would personally not give a fuck if my best friend or significant other was a Harmione shipper. In the case of them being a Ron basher, I would ignore it as if it was just a minor inconvenience and something we wouldn't be discussing and that's how it should be with you. Fuck BuzzFeed, your opinion on what Harry Potter ship / character is your favorite says squat about your personality and relationship with others in a romantic or platonic context. But who cares? Live your life however you want. I'll be stoic.
9)
It's not opposites attract rubbish or high school opposites attract. Ron and Hermione aren't polar opposites like I said, they are a bit different but similar too in many ways. They have a lot more in common than Harry and Hermione. Ron and Harry have the most in common. Both Ron and Hermione are passionate, loving, argumentative, caring, etc. Your argument lacks substance. It's biased trash. And what does “obhwf " mean?
---------------------------------
at the end of the day, i’m just an annoyed teenager. I try my best to be open-minded to people but only as long as they are too. I tried to use my brain more than my feelings for this post.
#ROMIONE#harry potter books#Harry Potter#harry potter movies#HarryPotter#harry#ron#hermione#Hermione Granger#Ron Weasley#RON WEASLEY APPRECIATION#ron weasley defense squad#ron weasley defence squad#toxic harmony#anti harmione#anti dramione#hinny#ron x hermione#hermione x ron#harry x ginny#ginny x harry#hinny appreciation#Ginny Weasley#ginny weasley defense squad#anti harmony#reddit#instagram#shameless plug
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‘cause i’ve been aimin’ for heaven above
read sanctuary and when night falls i am your escape
for @athenakyle
You let out a quiet sigh, cheek resting atop your fist as you flip through the pile of paper on your desk. A curt knock on the door pulls you out of your thoughts, and you straighten up to see your secretary in the doorway, a knowing smile playing on her lips.
“Yeah?”
“You have a visitor,” Jinah says, biting the inside of her cheek to hold back a grin.
“Is it my brother?” you groan, shaking your head. “I’m not available.”
“Nope. Even better than that hottie.”
“Please don’t talk about my brother like t—”
“‘Sup, gorgeous?” Jeongguk says, poking his head in through the doorway, wiggling his eyebrows.
“Oh. Well, I take it back. Talk about him however you want; he’s only my step brother anyway.”
“Can I get you guys anythi—” Jinah starts, raising a hand.
“We’re good, thank you,” you say, rolling your eyes as you pull Jeongguk into your office while shutting the door behind him, jerking your head to silently signal to your secretary to leave.
“I brought lunch,” Jeongguk announces, holding up a grease-stained paper bag with a grin. “I hope you’re in the mood for burgers and curly fri— oh shit. Are you still on that diet? Fuck.”
“It’s fine.” You shake your head and chuckle, taking the bag and walking to the small sofa set against one wall of your office. “I finally lost those five pounds I’ve been trying to shed for months.”
“I hope that didn’t come from your boobs or ass.” Jeongguk pulls off his jacket, dropping it on one arm of the sofa before sitting down next to you, humming at how soft the cushions are. “I mean, I’ll still fuck you, but you know… less to grab.”
“Always a charmer, Jeon. Thank you for accepting me in all my shapes and sizes.”
He hands you your burger with a wink.
〰️
The small gasp that leaves your lips quickly turns into a quiet moan, hand gripping the pillow behind your head tightly as Jeongguk wraps his lips around your nipple, your back arching off the sofa.
“Mmm, good to see — and feel — that these are still intact,” he says, grinning up at you. “Oh wait.” You huff out disbelieving laughter when you feel his hand curl around your waist, reaching down to grab your ass, giving it a light squeeze. “Yep. All good. Nice work on the diet, sweet cheeks. Not that I think you needed it, but if it made you happy, I support it.”
“I appreciate that, babe, but I’d appreciate it more if you finished what you started, thank you.”
“Oh, well since you asked so nicely…”
Grin never faltering, Jeongguk sits up against the cushions, pulling you up to sit on his lap, kicking away the paper bag full of burger wrappers and an empty cardboard box where mere crumbs of what used to be fried potato now lay. Dress bunched up around your waist, he groans when you roll your hips on his lap, thin cotton and lace the only things separating you both.
“Your secretary’s pretty,” Jeongguk says, grabbing handfuls of your ass with a satisfied moan as he gently sucks on the sensitive skin of your neck, careful not to leave a mark.
“Thought you didn’t mess with married women,” you chuckle, fingers tangling in his newly dyed silver hair.
“Oh shit. She’s married? Never mind then.”
“I’m surprised you’re looking at other women in the first place.” A little breathless, Jeongguk lifts his head to look at you, eyebrow raised. “Thought you and Hana were ready to take it to the next level.”
“Oh, fuck you,” he groans, hiding his face in your chest and pinching your ass lightly when you start to laugh. “Don’t bring her up when you’re practically naked in my lap.”
You gasp and lean back, crossing your hands over your chest to cover yourself.
“Don’t tell me you think of her when you’re sleeping with me! Jeon Jeongguk, you jerk!”
“You’re such a boner killer, you know that?” Jeongguk says, trying to sound annoyed; the laughter in his voice gives him away.
“Hmm… didn’t seem that way last Tuesday… or the day before that, and the day before that, and the—”
A short knock at your office door interrupts you mid-sentence, and you throw your head back with a groan.
“Fuck my life,” you mutter, climbing off Jeongguk’s lap to start fixing your dress. “Raincheck?”
“I’m gonna hold you to that,” Jeongguk sighs, lifting his hips off the sofa to zip up his jeans. “Can’t believe I’m gonna be blue-balled when I brought you curly fries.”
Snorting, you throw your panties at him, letting them land on his bare chest as you smooth out your dress and open your office door.
“Sorry to interrupt,” Jinah says, clutching a binder folder close to her chest as she steps into your office with wary steps. You hold back an amused smile, watching as she tries very hard not to look in Jeongguk’s direction where he’s still shirtless, your underwear still on his chest, and scrolling through his phone. “Um…”
“Yes, Jinah? Something important?” you ask, eyebrow cocked.
“R-right. These are some other forms you need to sign, and, um… that conference call is starting in twenty minutes.”
“Cool. Is that all?”
“Um. Y-yeah?”
“Are you not sure?”
“No, yes! T-that’s all.”
“Okie dokie. Thank you.”
You laugh and nudge Jinah to walk backwards, watching as her feet seem to move on her own accord, despite the way she gulps, eyes wandering over to Jeongguk eventually, who looks up from his phone to give her a little wave goodbye.
“Uh, Jinah?”
“Yeah?” Jinah replies, quickly and loudly.
“The forms?” you ask, holding your hand out for the binder.
Your secretary damn near throws the folder at you, rushing back to her desk.
“I think you may have a new admirer,” you say, walking back to your desk, setting the binder folder down on the pile of paperwork you’d abandoned earlier. “Hana’s gonna be so devastated.”
“Please,” Jeongguk groans, pocketing his phone before reaching down to grab his shirt. “I’d rather your married secretary than Miss Borderline-Stalker.”
“Dramatic. Hana seemed nice enough that night we all had dinner.”
“One time, Hoseok hyung did a little experiment to see how far her creepiness—”
“You mean, ‘admiration’, right?”
“Hah. Sure. How far her admiration—” You shake your head and laugh at the way Jeongguk curls his ringed fingers in air quotes. “...goes. You know she’d think I’m still cute if I murdered a small village out of sheer boredom.”
“Aww,” you coo, lowering your hand mirror and pressing a hand to your chest while Jeongguk pretends to gag. “She’d really support you through thick and thin. That’s adorable, Guk.”
“You can sleep with her instead then,” Jeongguk sighs, holding your wrist before you can go back to fixing your lipstick, pressing a kiss to your lips. “Call me later.”
You watch him grab his jacket and the trash, walking out of your office with a little wave over his shoulder. You look back down at your reflection in your mirror, rubbing your lips together and wondering why you suddenly feel flustered.
〰️
“I’m surprised you have time to be here, princess,” Hoseok says, not taking his eyes off the TV, blindly reaching for the bowl of popcorn.
“It was either this, or some gala or gallery opening or… something. I dunno,” you reply, not moving from where you’re leaning against Jeongguk’s side, head on his chest.
“You picked our dumb movie night over fancy dress and champagne?” Jeongguk asks, looking at you and reaching down to poke your side before returning his arm to where it was wrapped around your shoulders. “You need to reorganise your priorities, bub.”
“What, you’d rather be in a tux, mingling with middle-aged rich people who think the kind of music you guys make is ‘useless noise’?”
“Okay, fair point.”
“Can you guys shut up? We’re getting to the good part,” Taehyung says, clearing his throat and shuffling closer to Yoongi; Jeongguk shares a look with you, rolling his eyes. “And our movie nights are not dumb, Jeongguk. The only thing dumb about movie night is that you end up sobbing like a little girl after half the movies we watch.”
“I do not!”
“Aww. You’re a softie,” you coo, tickling his chin.
“Stop that,” he groans, swatting your hand away. “It is perfectly normal to tear up while watching The Notebook.”
“And Titanic, and Schindler’s List, and—” Yoongi lists, smirking.
“Shut up! Ugh. You guys suck.”
You chuckle and rub Jeongguk’s chest, letting your arm rest comfortably across his waist.
〰️
By the time the credits begin to roll, the others have all fallen asleep, you and Jeongguk not far behind from joining them. Without removing his arm from your shoulder, he raises his hips off the couch to stretch his back.
You take a deep breath, quietly groaning when you sit up and stretch your arms above your head, the hem of your shirt riding up to expose a sliver of your stomach. When you settle back down, you see Jeongguk looking at you, eyebrow arched, smile playing on his lips.
“Really?” you say, scoffing quietly.
“I am but a man, sweet cheeks,” he replies, hand on his chest. “A man with needs.”
“And I am a woman, sir. A woman that needs to sleep.”
“Fine. Another raincheck then.” Yawning, he gets up and stretches again. “Need a shirt? Or you planning on sleeping in what you’re wearin’?”
You stop wiping the corner of your eye, looking up at him, taken aback by this… subtle implication that you’ll be sleeping over for the first time.
“Huh?”
“You want one of my shirts to sleep in or are you good?”
“Uh…”
“Or do you sleep… naked?” Jeongguk gasps dramatically, lips turning up into a smirk.
“Shut up,” you groan, shaking your head and kicking his thigh. “Such a perv.”
“And I reiterate: I am a man with needs. C’mon. Let’s go to bed.” He laughs quietly at the look you give him. “To sleep.”
“What about these guys?”
“Pfft, leave them. Their neck problems are not yours, bub.”
〰️
You wake up to the smell of coffee and burning toast, a weight on your waist pinning you down onto the bed.
It takes a moment when you open your eyes to comprehend that you hadn’t fallen asleep in your own bed last night, and that the weight on your waist was, in fact, Jeongguk’s inked arm holding you close to his chest. He stirs when he feels you shift in his hold, taking in a deep breath and hiding his face in your hair.
“What time is it?” he asks, voice croaky with sleep.
“No clue,” you say, fighting the urge to fall back to sleep, the warmth on your back seeping through the material of your shirt — Jeongguk’s shirt — inviting and relaxing.
“I bet you ten thousand Won the fire alarm will go off in the next minute.”
“You seem very confident about that.”
“I’m confident in Taehyung hyung’s cooking skills — or lack of.”
You chuckle quietly before flipping over with a yawn, eyes still half shut. Jeongguk loosens his hold on you to let you turn, but quickly pulls you in once you’re facing him, hiding his face in your hair again.
“Let’s go out for breakfast,” he says. “I’m not in the mood for burnt toast and raw scrambled eggs.”
“Why not? That sounds delicious.”
“Fine. You stay here. I’ll go get some french toast and some good coffee.”
“Mmm, french toast.” You hum softly, sniffling. “You paying?”
“Hmm… sure. I got some cash to spare. Gonna have to take the bike though. Hoseok hyung might’ve already taken the car to work.”
“Not the bike,” you whine; Jeongguk chuckles, leaning down to press a kiss to your cheek before sitting up with a groan, patting your ass lightly.
“C’mon. Let’s head out before the other guys figure out what we’re doin’ and try to tag along.”
You open one eye to watch him climb off the bed, picking up one of his shirts and giving it a sniff before disappearing into the bathroom. You sit up with a quiet groan, scratching your head and wondering why your cheek feels several degrees warmer.
〰️
“Woah, woah, woah. Hottie at twelve o’clock,” Jaehyun says, craning his head to peer over Eunwoo’s shoulder, eyes wide with curiosity.
“Uh, you mean hotties,” Mingyu corrects, putting down the glass in his hand, and draping his towel over his shoulder. “Wow.”
“You guys wanna not act like teenage boys?” Jeongguk chuckles, leaning against the bar and pulling his phone out of his pocket, scrolling through his messages.
“I’m sorry you don’t have eyes, Jeongguk,” Yugyeom scoffs, setting his tray down on the bar. “But I think a certain reaction is expected when the heiress of Samsung walks into our shitty restaurant with her friends.”
“Wait. _____’s here?”
Jeongguk swivels around, scanning the dining floor with wide eyes, missing the way Dokyeom comments, who’s the teenage boy now? under his breath when he spots you and smirks. It doesn’t take long for you to spot him, and you scoff quietly at the look he’s giving you, shaking your head and rolling your eyes.
“Boys, I’m goin’ on break,” Jeongguk announces, untying his apron from his waist, grinning at the annoyed groans from his friends.
“We’re literally ten or fifteen minutes away from the Friday night rush,” Yugyeom says, smacking his arm. “Bros before hos!”
“Gyeom… you’re saying you’d pick these guys over _____? Think about it. Like really think about it, dude.” Yugyeom looks at the rest of the group, who all seem to be thinking over Jeongguk’s question too, before turning back to Jeongguk, sighing with defeat. “That’s what I thought. Gentlemen, adieu.”
The guys roll their eyes and shake their heads, watching him walk off in your direction.
“Wait, why’re we eating here again?” Hyemi asks, warily eyeing the sticky menu set down in front of her.
“I was in the mood for inauthentic Italian food,” you answer, smiling and reading over the specials.
“I’d recommend the bacon garlic linguine.”
You don’t flinch at the sudden whisper in your ear, only smiling wider and chuckling.
“Garlic? So close to bedtime? That’s an unusual recommendation, Jeon.”
“Hey. I’m not fussy. I accept you no matter what — garlic breath and all.” He presses a kiss to your cheek before straightening up, bowing his head at the rest of your table, hands in the pocket of his slacks. “Ladies.”
“Hi, Jeongguk. Are you working or are you joining us?” Hyemi says.
“Oh, well that all depends on Miss _____ over here.”
“Hmm… it would’ve been nice to have our own personal server, but I suppose you can stay for a bite of two, if you must,” you reply, reaching for the drinks menu.
“Hmm, well, I can get you multiple personal servers — if you ladies would like that, that is,” Jeongguk says, grinning.
A few of the girls gasp, whispering between themselves.
“The boys at the bar?” Hyemi asks.
“The boys at the bar.”
“Huh. Maybe this place isn’t so bad after all, _____.”
〰️
“Hey.”
“Hmm?”
You turn to look at Jeongguk, smile still on your lips as you cradle your glass of wine in your hand. He’s giving you a look that you can’t really explain, but his arm is draped over the back of your chair, and he’s looking right at you, and it feels as if the restaurant is completely empty around you.
“What, Jeongguk?” you ask, nudging his shoulder.
“I just remembered something,” he says, reaching for your half-eaten slice of garlic bread.
“Oh yeah? And what’s that?”
“I kinda wanna take you out on a date.”
Your eyebrows arch up so fast, you’re sure they disappear into your hair in an instant.
“A… date?”
“Mhm.” He takes a bite of your garlic bread, shrugging. “Been thinking about it for a while. Not really sure why, but… actually, no — I do know why. It’s Yoongi hyung’s fault.”
“Yoongi?”
“Yeah, he said something a couple months back about me needing to get a girlfriend, and to stop annoying you every time my dick twitches ‘cause you’re probably busy most of the time I hit you up. Anyway, I figured I’m twenty-four goin’ on fifty, I’m not goin’ back to school anytime soon, so why not?” He puts the bread back down onto your empty plate, dusting off his fingers. “How ‘bout it? Wanna go on a date with me, sweet cheeks?”
You look at him, too stunned to say anything coherent as it dawns on you that he really did just ask you that.
Jeon Jeongguk has just asked you out on a date.
“Really?” you ask, putting your glass of wine down and turning to face him properly. “You wanna go out on a date with me?”
“I do,” he says, picking up your glass of wine instead and taking a sip.
“And not because you want a new phone, TV, or washing machine whenever there’s a new release… or want to be on the cover of magazines and newspapers every other day… or want me to buy you the newest pair of Yeezys before they’re released in Korea?”
“Well… hmm… actually…” He chuckles when you smack his arm, rolling your eyes. “I’m kidding. No, after what Yoongi hyung said, I actually do wanna take you on a date. I’m curious to see if we can woo each other’s pants off — metaphorically and literally speaking, of course.”
“Of course.”
“So? What d’you say? Will you let me take you out on a date?”
You bite the inside of your cheek, thinking it over. Jeongguk keeps his eyes on you, waiting for an answer, and twirling an unused spoon between his fingers. Eventually, you take a deep breath, smiling and shrugging.
“Eh, what the hell? Sure. Why not?” you say, taking your glass of wine back.
“Wait, shit. Really?”
“Why do you sound surprised?”
“I didn’t actually think there was a chance you’d say yes,” Jeongguk says, laughing. “Um. Okay. Cool. Yeah. Alright, I’ll, uh… let you know when and where once I’ve figured that out.”
“I look forward to it, Jeon.”
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yet another ask dump yeehaw!
do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?
sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.
Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.
barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'
john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'
tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.
on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,
Your fic on ao3 was GOLD
PLEASE CONTINUE
I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen
thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)
I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.
bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit
bruce externally: get out of my city, alien
AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls
uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background
Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you
- Denilla
wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?
young justice 🤝 teen titans
slut shaming batman
tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'
Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)
uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.
in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)
yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.
Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect"
( @subspacecadet )
as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.
Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan
listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude
Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?
everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.
why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people
what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨
Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes
well that's a you problem isn't it?
do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?
he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.
holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!
i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird
Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.
Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.
uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho
your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.
actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)
This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin
( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )
because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.
Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing
well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.
The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2
oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.
I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love
(@nightwings-kid)
okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.
The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that
also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson
Debbie grayson is a milf, yes.
You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life.
Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man.
Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad
Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks
because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)
About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.
i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.
Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)
i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck
Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)
fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)
How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot
i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)
So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺
(@katekanebadass)
aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!
The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌
i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids
as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️
thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)
In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"
this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"
honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?
gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.
why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family
bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)
Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy
why would say something so controversial yet so brave.
my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context
dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position
tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000
dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'
dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it
I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok
i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.
Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk
bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism
you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker
and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy
like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.
ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE
thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.
in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman
absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.
need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes
yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days
oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit
okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke
order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)
I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free
cw is jared, 19
do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it
uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club
Wait how many languages do you speak??
uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.
You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty
okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.
#i love all of you guys so much thanks for all these asks#some of these are literally from march but fuck it#the day tumblr puts dates next to anon messages is the day i close my inbox crawl into a hole and die#it's such a basic task to answer asks but i don't want to bother anyone with asks clogging up their timeline#and if i don't have a funny or good answer i'm like 'uhh okay won't answer it now then'#so this is for you#also i deleted a few asks because it gives me mental pain to see my inbox go over 50 and it's almost at 100#i was complaining about having too many asks to the-real-peter-parker like months ago and then i had 45 asks in my inbox#now it's amassed to going over 100 twice#but no i love all of you and you're great and you're all fantastic and i lvoe you#muchos kiss kiss#kiss kiss for my kiddies lvoe you#invincible spoilers#dc#dcu#dc comics#ask#anon#bataranswers#i really wanna try aguapanela now i'm gonna see if i can find panela somewhere and review it for you babes#uh yeah that's it#muchos gracias for all your questions babes
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