#although algebra was back when math was fun so...

[certifiedcoffeeaddict]

good afternoon,

#op is a mortuary science major :P #do sixth graders learn algebra? probably not #i certainly hope they do not. #although algebra was back when math was fun so... #dcmk #dcmk textposts #<- the collection of my bs #ALT added #edogawa conan #detective conan

[asahicore]

kiwi and layla - sjy

pairing. jake x fem!reader synopsis. in which you mistake jake’s backpack for your own, making you each go home with the other’s bag. both of you are too curious for your own good, so you quickly find out that you excel in the subject the other is failing - a mutual tutoring agreement ensues, and it turns into much more than what you had expected. genre. high school au, f2l, lots of fluff and some angst too, f2l, shy reader x outgoing jake warnings. food & swearing, mention of parent death and divorce, kms jokes, jake being stupid but also really cute (lmk if i've missed any!) word count. 26.3k a/n. this is part of the unexpected collab !!! go check out the other fics and caelin thank u for hosting <333 hope u guys like this one, it took me a while but i had so so much fun writing it !!! i love my jakey in here he's a little bit confused but he's got the spirit. @zreamy thanks for being the world's awesomest beta reader and a decent friend ig... 2 baddies wouldnt be the same without you... lifeguard wet body sunghoon coming soon guys dont miss it! as always pls remember how important reblogs and feedback is for us writers!!! it's what keeps us going <3 enjoy!!

listen to the playlist!

This was not your backpack. 

In your defense, it looked so similar to yours - scratch that, it was the exact same as yours - that you couldn’t possibly have been able to tell the difference between the two bags until you’d opened one of them. Just a basic black Eastpak that probably a hundred other kids in your school owned with nothing to tell them apart, because you hadn’t had the mind to add a little something to it and make it recognizable. You hadn’t really needed to - your backpack was always on your back, next to your seat or in your locker. There was no way you might lose it or mistake it with another.

Until today, obviously. Instead of having a chill last class before spring break like every other teacher, your psycho math teacher Mr Choi had decided to give you a major test on this otherwise beautiful Friday afternoon. While other students watched a movie or played Kahoot, you were stuck in a cold classroom with algebra questions in front of you. Mr Choi had argued that this would be better than having a test after the holidays and ruining your time off with studying, but a test was a test, and math was math, so you hated the idea anyway. 

To eliminate all cheating possibilities, Mr Choi made his students only take a pencil and eraser with them, leave their bag at the back of the classroom and put their phone in a box he kept on his desk. Plus, with his hawk eyes watching intently, there was no way to sneak answers on a small sheet of paper or even on your palm. 

When the test was over, your brain was so fried and you were so eager to get the hell out of there that you didn’t even notice the two identical black backpacks next to each other, you just grabbed the first one you saw, not even questioning that it might not be yours.

And indeed, yours it was not. From your snooping around, you quickly found out it belonged to one Jake Sim. 

You knew Jake. Although you’d been attending the same school for the past three years, you could probably count the number of times you’d talked on one hand - but you knew him. Or at least, you knew of him. You knew that he was good at STEM subjects and that he was on the soccer team; you knew he was a really sweet guy and was easy to talk to, even for someone shy like you. 

Most importantly, you knew he was friends with Park Sunghoon. This was important because you had liked Park Sunghoon since the moment you’d laid eyes on him - or rather, your whole friend group had. It might’ve sounded extremely odd to others, but you and your friends had a few random people at school you liked to keep tabs on or create backstories for, and Sunghoon, because of his dashing looks that had struck all four of you in your first week of freshman year, was one of your victims. Well, you liked to think of them as characters on a TV show rather than victims, but to each his own. Your other characters included that popular sophomore who already considered herself a celebrity because of her ten thousand followers on TikTok anyway, the French and Spanish teachers you were sure had a thing going on, and that one guy in Yena’s biology class that only showed up every two weeks but always looked stoned (hat guy, Chaewon liked to call him, even you’d never once seen him with a hat on). It was all harmless, really - none of you ever actually went up and talked to them, just discussed them among yourselves.

Perhaps Sunghoon was different, because each of you had had a class with him at some point, so you’d all had at least shared a word with him. You probably hadn’t talked to him more times than you’d talked to Jake, so the information you knew about him was pretty surface-level - he was an ice skater, but everyone knew that, and he was shy like you, which was immediately noticeable. He also had one of the most handsome faces you’d ever seen. But again, everyone who saw him knew that.

You, Yena and Chaewon had debated whether one of you should just go ahead and make a move (Hyewon didn’t participate because she already had a boyfriend, but she was all for approaching the boy). You guessed you could describe what you felt towards Sunghoon as a sort of crush, even if it was one you shared with your friends - you found him cute, and you got nervous when he was around. But you were more the watch-from-afar-and-pine type, so you were satisfied with liking him from a distance. You didn’t think you actually had the guts to strike a conversation with him - that was more Chaewon’s thing.

However, this didn’t mean you weren’t curious about the contents of his best friend’s backpack. Your being shy didn’t mean you weren’t interested in other people’s lives - if anything, you were quite nosy. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but you were just a regular teenage girl, so this was fine, right? After just a few minutes of snooping, you found out Jake Sim wasn’t hiding any big state secrets in his Eastpak, anyway. Just some textbooks, notebooks, and a lot of single sheets of paper. It was pretty messy in there. 

Your idea of him being good at STEM subjects was correct - he kept all of his graded tests in the sleeve pocket of his math notebook, and there was not a single one that had received a note under 95. He even seemed to be doing some extracurricular exercises - there were formulae that were completely unfamiliar to you and that you were sure you hadn’t done in class. You found it slightly insane, but that might have just been because you despised math and wouldn’t understand why someone would want to do more of it than was required of them. 

His English homework was another story. His essays had more red from the teacher’s pen than his own black ink, and from the grades on his reading comprehension tests, you highly doubted he’d actually read any of the assigned books. You weren’t in the same English class but apparently had the same teacher, Ms Park, so you were studying the same thing. You couldn’t help but cringe as you read his answers on a Pride and Prejudice reading test - he seemingly kept mixing the sisters up, assigning actions and character traits to Lydia that clearly belonged to Jane. At least he somewhat got Darcy right, writing that “he’s probably not as bad as he looks,” with no further explanation. 

As you aimlessly flipped through his English notebook, curious about the way he took his notes - or if he even took any - you noticed some scribbles in the margins. Looking closer, some of them were in his handwriting while others were in an unfamiliar one. It looked like some sort of conversation, so you assumed the other writing belonged to his deskmate. You also did this with your friends in classes where the teacher was very strict about no chatting in class.

dude coach said if I fail any of my classes I would be out of the team, you read Jake’s handwriting.

Wait seriously????

yeah and I suck at english so Im scared it might actually happen

You just need to study more bro

bro I DO but this shit is hard

Then find someone to help you

neither of you guys is that good in that subject either tho

Ok ouch but also just find someone else then

bro who

IDK man 

Y/N maybe ? she’s good at English and she’s nice so she might say yes 

there you go about y/n again dude MAYBE you ask HER to teach you some sonnets

Shut up you’re the one who needs help dumbass

whatever isn’t it weird just asking her randomly though like i dont want her to feel like she has to say yes

Lol if she sees your grades she might do it out of pity

fuck u man

You were surprised to see your own name written there - it felt weird knowing that Jake and his friend were talking about you, for some reason. And what if that friend was Sunghoon? You had a hard time believing he not only knew you existed, but thought of you as good at English and nice. You liked to think both of these things were true. 

He was also spot-on about saying you would agree to helping out Jake in those subjects, but what he got wrong was thinking you’d do it out of pity. Clearly, you and Jake were in very similar positions. You didn’t have any sort of club you’d be kicked out of if you failed a class, but it sure as hell wouldn’t look good on your college applications, so you needed to get your math grades up. 

Jake and you both desperately needed something the other person could help with, so you had a feeling he wouldn’t turn down the offer that was brewing in your head.

—

This was not Jake’s backpack.

He noticed it right away - it was much heavier than his own and the straps were tighter around his shoulders than they should be. He looked inside for some clues about who it might belong to, and luckily, the first thing he found was a journal that had Y/N’S DIARY written on the cover page in big, pink letters. 

Unluckily, however, he’d also noticed that you had practically sprinted out of the classroom as soon as the bell rang, and indeed, you were already far gone when he tried looking for you around school. He had to get to soccer practice anyway, so he put the issue to the side for the time being.

When he got home, he had to shower then have dinner, so it wasn’t until 8 p.m. that he remembered he had your backpack. He had meant to text you straightaway about it, and he knew it was wrong to look into someone’s belongings, but he couldn’t help himself, especially when his best friend Sunghoon had liked you for ages. Maybe this was an opportunity to find out more about you.

Your mind-blowing grades in English don’t come as much of a surprise to him, and after reading through your most recent essay, he thought you definitely deserved them. Your essay was on a Shakespeare play he had never heard of - you apparently also had Ms Park for English, and he didn’t know she was doing Shakespeare in class, so he wondered for a second if you were actually crazy enough to read another book and study it. As if 300 pages of Jane Austen weren’t enough as it was. 

What shocked him were your math grades. It was like looking into a fucked-up mirror: while you excelled at English, you sucked at math; while he excelled at math, he sucked at English. You were just as close to failing your math class as he was at failing English.

Now that he thought about it, maybe Sunghoon’s idea hadn’t been so dumb - you could help him out, and he had an actual argument as to why you should, rather than just using pity on you.

As he put your stuff back in your bag, he was reminded of something - your diary. For some reason, the pretty floral pattern on the cover made him feel even worse for opening the journal in the first place, but he did it anyway. Either you’d only just picked up the habit of writing in a diary or you had finished your previous one recently, but this one seemed pretty new, as only about ten pages had been filled with your neat handwriting. Judging from the dates at the top of almost every page, you wrote in there everyday, and Jake only felt even worse that you hadn’t been able to write in it that day.

Still, he flicked to the first page and started reading. And he read and read, unable to take his eyes away from your diary. He thought he wouldn’t have cared much and a page would have satisfied his curiosity, but the way you wrote about the people around you and about yourself fascinated him. Basic high school things like friend drama and annoying teachers actually became interesting through your words. You didn’t use particularly complicated sentences or unheard-of words, on the contrary, you used simple language, and that spoke a lot more to Jake than any of the classics he’d attempted to read for class. 

And then, he saw an all too familiar name in an entry dated from just a few days ago. 

I sat next to Sunghoon today. It was during physics and both of our desk partners were absent, so Mrs Kim made me change seats. She always does this, and I used to wonder whether she hated to see an empty seat or to see a student sitting on their own, but whatever the reason, today, I was just happy about it. This isn’t our first time sitting next to each other in class, but I was still nervous, since I wasn’t expecting it. I hope he couldn’t feel the awkwardness practically oozing off of me or the way I very obviously struggled with the exercises (obviously, anything to do with math is not my forte). We shared my textbook because he’d forgotten his, and he showed me his notes when he saw I couldn’t keep up with Mrs Kim as she told us what to write down. We only exchanged a few words but I was satisfied when class was over. It’s odd, because you’d think someone would want to talk to the person they like and get to know them more, but I don’t feel that with Sunghoon. Maybe it’s because we’re both so introverted, and he seems to have just as hard a time as I do starting conversations, so I’ve sort of accepted our silent fate. I’m fine just continuing to steal glances at him from across the cafeteria. 

After that, there were a few more pages of writing up until yesterday's entry, but it was the only mention of Sunghoon. Jake had apparently been wrong to think that a girl’s diary would be full of rantings about her crush and things along the lines of “omg, he looked at me today”. 

But you had very clearly referred to Sunghoon as the person you liked, and Jake wasn’t going to let that go so easily. This was precious information that he held in his hands now, so he had to figure out how to deal with it properly for your sake as well as his friend’s.

Turns out there was more he could help you with than just algebra.

—

Seeing Jake Sim in a setting other than school was slightly odd, if you were being completely honest. 

You had just been about to text him about the backpack mix-up when you’d received a message from the man himself, asking if you could meet up the next day to exchange them. In response, you’d asked where you should meet, thinking he’d offer either his house or yours, or some halfway point between them, but he surprised you by proposing some café in the center of town. They have good hot chocolate there, he’d said, and that had been enough to convince you. 

And also I have something I want to talk to you about. 

Your stomach had turned at this message - what on Earth could Jake Sim need to discuss with you had been your first thought, and then you realized you also had plans you wanted to share with him. So his idea of going to a café was actually good for you, too.

You’d only been waiting for about five minutes when he appeared at the café, red and panting from seemingly sprinting to his destination. 

“Y/N, I’m sooo sorry,” he immediately said when he saw you waiting. “I was planning to be early, but when I got on the bus I realized I literally forgot your bag, so I had to go back but the next bus wasn’t for another twenty minutes so I just ran the whole way here, and now I’m all sweaty, and I’m late, and I’m really sorry.”

He’d rushed through his sentence and was breathing heavily as he looked at you expectantly, waiting for your answer. He seemed so genuinely sorry for such a small thing that after your surprise faded, you started laughing. It was his turn to be surprised, and he immediately stopped talking at the sound of your soft giggles.

“It’s okay, Jake. I haven’t even been waiting five minutes,” you explained, smiling. “Let’s just go in, yeah?”

Jake’s heart did something weird just then, and the feeling was so unfamiliar and confusing that he decided to promptly ignore it. As if in a daze, he stood still for a couple of seconds until the sound of a bell ringing, the one the café had on its doors to signify the entrance or exit of a customer, snapped him out of it. He followed you into the shop, let you order and pay for you both (“I’m the one who took the wrong bag, it’s the least I can do,” you’d said) and sat across from you at a booth in the back.

You gave each other your respective bags back, then started chatting as you sipped on your hot chocolates (Jake had been right - they really were delicious). He was surprisingly easy to talk to, and whether he sensed you were a reserved person or was just naturally talkative, you liked that he both managed to do most of the talking and ask you loads of questions at once. Usually, you wouldn’t have really cared to listen to someone go on and on about their passion for soccer and the recent game that their team had won, but for some reason, you were hooked on Jake’s every word. The way his eyes widened in excitement as he recounted the winning goal he scored, the way the volume of his voice decreased as he filled you in on the team gossip even though no one was listening to your conversation, the way his grin turned into a proud smirk as he mentioned his coach congratulating him - every single one of his actions had you mesmerized. You’d never seen anyone so expressive in their speech, never seen anyone punctuate every sentence with a movement or a facial expression. It was just fun, listening to him.

Even when he didn’t talk, he stayed expressive. He asked you whether you did anything outside of school, and he listened intently as you told him about the theater group you’re in, humming and nodding and laughing at all the right moments. Usually, you wouldn’t have talked about it for more than thirty seconds, afraid to bore others with unnecessary details, but Jake’s reactions and the questions he asked made you actually feel listened to and like what you were talking about was interesting. So you grew more confident and told him what you loved about acting and about theater, about your own gossip (the arrogant actress who got the lead role and thought she was better than everyone else, that one guy who was clearly flirting with three girls at the same time), and you almost couldn’t believe Jake seemed so entertained by your stories. 

“So, you said your group focused on more classic plays, right? Does that mean you’re good at English Lit?”

With his spoon, Jake scooped some whipped cream into his mouth, hoping he was appearing as nonchalant as he was trying to be. He had to make you think he’d deduced that just now and not because he had been snooping through your backpack just the night prior. 

You, however, could not have cared less how he’d figured it out - you were just grateful he had segued into this topic of school and grades, because you’d been wanting to bring it up yourself but had no idea how.

“Um, yeah, actually, it’s my best subject. Math, on the other hand…”

You chuckled as his eyes widened and he leaned in across the table, pointing his spoon at you as he spoke. “See, that’s interesting, because math is my best subject, but I suck at English Lit.”

“Oh, really?” you asked, trying to sound genuinely surprised even though this piece of information was not at all new to you.

“Yeah,” he said, looking back down at his almost-finished drink with a small smile on his face.

“You know-”

“You know-”

You and Jake had spoken at the same time, and your eyes locked for a second before you started laughing. You gestured at him to go on first.

“I actually need pretty urgent help in English. Coach said he’ll put us out of the team if we fail even just one of our courses, and I’m very close to failing that class.” He took a moment to let out a sigh. “So, if you want, we could help each other out. Me with math, and you with English.” 

His eyebrows were slightly furrowed and he bit his lip as he looked at you expectantly. You thought he looked far too nervous for such a simple request, expression more like a boy who’d just asked his crush to the prom rather than offering mutual help you both desperately needed. You couldn’t help the smile that grew on your lips - you had never known Jake Sim to be so… cute. But he was waiting for an answer, so you pushed the thought out of your head.

“That’s a great idea, actually,” you replied, as if you hadn’t had the exact same idea. You were just relieved you hadn’t even had to bring it up yourself. “I also really can’t afford to fail math. It would look terrible on college applications.”

Jake let out a long, loud exhale. “God, yeah, college, I hadn’t even thought of that. Even more motivation to get better grades now,” he said with a chuckle.

You chuckled along, then cleared your throat and sat up straighter. You watched with amusement as Jake mirrored your actions and even the fake serious frown in your brows. You presented your hand for him to shake, which he did without hesitation.

“So it’s a deal then. We’ll tutor each other until we’ve gotten our grades up.”

“Deal,” he replied. As you both withdrew your hands, he dropped his serious facade and burst into giggles, a sound you hadn’t expected from the boy but somehow fit him well. You watched his face closely for a second, noticing the curl of his lips and the crinkle at the corner of his eyes, before breaking into laughter yourself.

You stayed in the café for another half hour, going over details of where and when you’d meet, of what exactly you needed help with (“Everything,” you’d said, to which Jake had replied “Same”), and just talked some more.

“I’m taking the 53 that way,” Jake said when you exited the café, pointing towards the bus stop.

“Oh, so am I!” you exclaimed.

“Seriously?! What’s your stop?”

And that’s how you and Jake figured out you only lived two bus stops away from each other. 

“That’s so cool! It’ll make it easy to meet up then,” he said, and you hummed in agreement. After a pause, he added: “But if we live so close to each other, how come we didn’t go to the same schools earlier? Aren’t you usually supposed to go to the one in your district?”

“I used to live in another part of town,” you explained. “Then my parents divorced when I was in middle school, and I stayed with my dad because he lived closer to the school I was at, but I moved to my mom’s place for high school.”

“‘Cause she lives closer?”

“Yeah, basically.” There was more to it, but you didn’t think Jake would be particularly interested in your parental issues - although you surprised yourself for even considering telling him. If Jake sensed that you weren’t saying everything, he didn’t push, just swiftly changed the topic as you waited for the bus to come.

When you got home some time later, the first thing you did was open your diary and start writing. It had felt wrong not to write in it even just for a day, so it was a relief to feel the pages between your fingers and the familiar scent of the paper and your perfumed pen. You wrote without thinking too much, simply letting all of your musings out into your diary and freely brushing the tip of your pen across the pages. 

You didn’t ever reread your entries right after writing them, but if you had that day, you might have noticed all you could write about was the boy you’d drank a hot chocolate with.

—

Spring break week passed by far too quickly, and it was on the first Monday back at school that you and Jake met again. He had soccer practice on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, while you had theater rehearsals on Thursdays and Saturdays, so you’d agreed to meet up every Monday and Wednesday after school. Since his mother worked as the school nurse, she drove him to and from school everyday - so on Monday, you met Jake in front of the nurse’s station, waiting for his mom to wrap things up before she drove you both to their home.

You had been surprised to learn that the kind nurse that never asked too many questions and always let students take a nap if they didn’t feel well was Jake’s mom, but upon reflection, it made sense. Once you knew, it was almost obvious that she had raised him - they shared the same friendliness, the same comforting smile and the same ability to make conversation. The whole ride home, she asked you about yourself and thanked you for agreeing to tutor “our little Jakey,” because “God knows he needs the help.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh when a blush crept on Jake’s face and he looked out the passenger seat window with an embarrassed frown, muttering something like “Thanks a lot, Mom.”

She noticed his reaction and laughed along with you. “I’m just saying, Jakey-poo. It’s good to know to ask for help when you need it,” she cooed, reaching a hand out to ruffle his hair. This only made Jake groan loudly and hide his face in his hands. You didn’t know Jake very well, but this flustered, red-faced side of him was definitely one you liked seeing.

The first thing that greeted you when you reached Jake’s house was a happy welcome home bark.

“You have a dog?!” you exclaimed, unable to reel your excitement in.

“Yeah! This is Layla,” Jake said, giving energetic rubs to the Border Collie that made her whole body shake side-to-side but that she seemed to thoroughly enjoy. 

“Hi, Layla,” you cooed, crouching down to her level to let her sniff you. She decided you were a person worthy of petting her. “She’s so cute!”

“I think she likes you,” Jake said, a grin on his face, as he watched Layla presenting her belly to you and asking for scratches there. “Do you have a dog?”

“We have a Corgi at home. And a cat, too.”

“That must be fun,” Jake chuckled. “Do they get along?”

“Depends. They have a bit of a love-hate relationship.” You looked up at Jake, and it was uncharacteristically quiet as you locked eyes for a couple of seconds. You both looked away at the same time, surprised by the sudden eye contact.

You gave Layla one last rub and lifted yourself up. “Um, should we get started?” 

Jake paused for a second as if he’d forgotten what you were here for in the first place, then started nodding his head quickly. “Right, yeah. Let’s go to my room. Downstairs is just one big room and my mom will probably watch TV or make dinner or something, so it might be distracting…” he explained, lightly scratching the back of his neck. It seemed like he was embarrassed to be bringing you to his room, which you couldn’t help but find endearing.

“Okay, sounds good,” you said with a smile, hoping it’ll reassure him.

You followed him up to his room, ignoring his complaints as you lingered on the framed photos on the wall next to the stairs and giggled at his baby pictures. 

“Do not look at those,” he said with a warning tone that didn’t scare you in the slightest. When you didn’t listen, he grabbed your hand that had been pointing at a photo of baby Jake in the bathtub and forced you to keep walking.

“Why?” you asked, a slight whine to your voice.

“‘Cause it’s embarrassing! I was an ugly baby.”

“What?! You were so cute!”

“Whatever. I’d rather study English than talk about this, and that’s saying something.”

When you looked at Jake, you were surprised to find that he actually seemed upset about this. You weren’t sure what was so wrong with looking at his baby pictures, but the last thing you wanted to do was make him mad, so you stayed quiet and continued your way to his room. Once there, although you were infinitely curious about all the posters, pictures, figurines, trophies, and other small tokens of Jake’s life, you didn’t ask him about any of them, just sat next to him at his desk and opened The Picture of Dorian Grey, the book you had both been studying in Ms Park’s class.

You’d agreed on spending forty-five minutes on English, have a small break, then spend forty-five minutes on Math. It wasn’t a lot, but you both had other homework and things outside of school you needed to do, so you’d decided to start out that way and see if it worked out.

You were glad to see how seriously Jake was taking this - he listened intently to what you said and asked questions when he didn’t understand something. You quickly figured out that what he didn’t like about English Literature was that the answers weren’t as straightforward or as logical as they were in math, and even worse, that multiple answers were possible depending on the reader’s interpretation. 

“It just all feels like a guessing game,” he said, resting the side of his head on one of his palms. “How am I supposed to know what this dude meant? And if it can be analyzed in different ways, how can Ms Park tell me the way I understand it is wrong?”

“It’s all about the way you justify it,” you explained. “You can’t just say whatever. Ms Park will look out for how you use the text to support your answers.” You then went on to pick out a specific part of the book, asking Jake to analyze Dorian’s mindset in that scene. 

“He sounds like he’s going insane,” Jake said flatly when he was done reading, getting a chuckle out of you.

“Exactly. How do you know that?”

“I don’t know, just the words he uses,” Jake replies, shrugging.

“Okay, underline those words,” you instructed gently. Jake sighed, but he complied.

“There.” 

“Good. What can you say about those words?” When Jake just looked at you like a lost puppy, you reformulated your question. “What do they have in common? What type of words are they? Are they common nouns, verbs…”

Jake looked back at the words he’d underlined on the page. “They’re… adjectives?” he said, tone unsure.

“Exactly!”

Jake paused. “So?”

“So now you can say that the author uses many adjectives to convey the gradual loss of sanity of the main character.”

“Oh.”

When you looked at Jake, he wore an expression like the words on the page were finally starting to make sense to him. “That’s the content. You can also look at the structure. See how many punctuation marks there are? Commas, semi-colons, question marks… It’s like he keeps cutting himself off. His thoughts are all over the place.”

Jake nodded slowly. “So, I just need to look out for things like that?”

“Basically, yeah. And the more you practice, the more these things will stand out to you. It actually becomes somewhat repetitive sometimes.”

Jake let out a shaky breath. “That’s actually relieving to hear,” he said with a chuckle.

Thirty minutes passed by like this as you showed Jake ways to make sense of a literary text. When the timer rang, he leaned back in his chair and stretched his arms out wide with a sigh. He put his hands behind his head and let it hang back, and the way your stomach flipped at the sight of his exposed neck and Adam’s apple made you look away immediately. You could barely meet his eyes as he turned his head to look at you, still in that same position, and, with a smirk, asked if you were ready for some snacks. 

You gulped, trying to look as normal as possible. “Uh, yeah, sure!”

Downstairs, Jake presented you with all sorts of snacks - there were so many, you felt like you were in a convenience store. This was worlds away from your ingredient-only household. You opted for some biscuits and a banana while Jake made himself a bowl of cereal. A very distracting ten-minute long argument then ensued about the order of milk and cereal - horrifyingly, Jake poured his milk before his cereal. You thought it was a myth that some people actually did it that way, but Jake very proudly defended his choice. 

“I bet you eat pizza with pineapple on it, too,” you said half-jokingly, only for your joke to punch you right back in the face.

“Duh,” Jake answered.

You could only shake your head in defeat. “Let’s just get back to studying before I murder you.”

“Damn, Y/N,” Jake said, laughing. “That’s harsh.”

“And you’re a freak,” you retorted, a grin blooming on your lips.

“You know, you remind me of my friend Jay,” Jake mused as you walked back up the stairs. “He has so many of these small battles that he just won’t let go of. He got super worked up over an argument about mint chocolate chip ice cream once.”

“Let me guess, you like that ice cream?”

Jake shrugged. “It’s not my favorite, but I’ll have it once in a while.”

“God, Sim, you just get worse and worse.”

You sat back down at his desk and started eating. “I bet you think I’m weird for liking math too, right?”

“That’s the worst offense of them all.” 

Jake’s sudden quietness caught you off guard. When you turned your head to look at him, he was already gazing at you with a smile and a sort of thoughtful glint to his eyes, resting his chin on his palm. It sounded like he was thinking out loud when he spoke next. “Guess we’re perfect opposites of each other. Like two peas in a pod!”

The realization of what he’d said dawned upon him as soon as the words left his mouth. He slowly lifted his head as his eyes widened. “I don’t mean- just, you know, since you’re good at English and I’m good at math, and- you know… I didn’t mean it in a weird way, or anything…”

His eyes kept glancing back and forth between you and his bowl of cereal, as if he was scared of looking directly at you but wanted to check your reaction. 

As a smile grew on your face, you kept your eyes trained on your biscuits so he wouldn’t see your flustered expression. But when you looked at him again, he held your gaze, mouth slightly agape. You didn’t have it in you that he had gotten the idiom completely wrong. “I know, don’t worry.” You chuckled. “We are opposites of each other. You just better be as good at teaching math as I am at teaching English,” you teased.

You watched as a smirk tugged one corner of Jake’s lips up and he raised an eyebrow. “Who said you were good at teaching English?”

You gasped. “You said you understood better now!”

Jake’s smile softened as he giggled. “I’m just teasing. You are a good teacher.”

You sat up straighter at the compliment, a proud smile on your face. “Your turn, Mr Sim. I’m all ears.”

“Right,” he said, mirroring your posture. “Shall we start by going over Mr Choi’s test from last week?” 

Your smile dropped instantly at this. Reluctantly, you fished your graded paper out of your bag. You already knew Mr Choi was a psychopath, but you still didn’t understand where he found the will to grade thirty papers over the weekend. You avoided Jake’s gaze as you handed him your test with a big, red, circled D- at the top.

You cringed as Jake sighed. “At least it’s not an F, right?” he said in what you could tell was an attempt at reassurance but somehow only made you feel worse. He looked over your answers quickly, trying to find what in particular you struggled with. “All right. Let’s start from the beginning, yeah?”

For the next forty-five minutes, Jake went over each test question with you, breaking them down and explaining how to solve them in a way you understood. The words he used were so much clearer than the half-assed explanations you were used to from Mr Choi, and for once, math actually made some sort of sense. Your brain still felt broken after almost an hour of numbers and greek letters, but at least, you felt smarter rather than dumber at the end of it. You had never been more grateful for the sound of a phone alarm than the one signaling tutoring was over. 

“That wasn’t half-bad, right?” Jake asked with a wide grin.

You felt so tired, you could probably pass out right then and there, but Jake looked so proud of himself after you had been able to complete an exercise correctly on your own that you didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth. “Right,” you replied, mirroring his grin. “You’re an okay teacher, I guess.”

He jokingly glared and tutted at you, but you both laughed right after. “I need to walk Layla, so I can walk you home, if you want?” he offered as you started packing your things. His words had an uncertain tone to them, as if he wasn’t sure you’d still want to spend time with him after this - but it only took you a second of thinking to realize you’d rather continue hanging out with him than going home on your own.

“Sure! I need to walk Kiwi too, actually.”

“Your dog’s name is Kiwi?!”

“Yes,” you said, chuckling at his fascinated tone.

“That’s an adorable name.”

“Thanks, I chose it.”

“Oh, then I take it back. Worst name I’ve ever heard for a dog.”

“Hey!” you exclaimed, lightly hitting him on the head with your math notebook, making him raise a hand in self-defense as he laughed.

“Sorry, sorry. Does your cat also have a fruit name?” 

A pause. “Mango,” you mumbled, and he immediately burst into laughter again. You side-eyed him as you zipped up your bag.

“Wow, you have amazing taste in pet names, Y/N.”

“Shut up,” you said, laughing along. Then you realized something, and you suddenly stopped laughing, looking up at Jake with wide eyes that made him slightly start to panic. “Oh my God, Jake, are our dogs going to meet?”

“Our dogs are going to meet,” he echoed in a sort of fascinated whisper. You both understood the other - dogs becoming friends was the cutest thing ever.

“Let’s go,” you whispered back excitedly.

When you reached the living room downstairs, you bid Mrs Sim goodbye, then went to the entrance to put your shoes back on. “You two sure get along well,” you heard her say to her son with a suggestive tone. Even though she had dropped the volume of her voice, the door was wide open and there were only a few meters between you, so you’d heard her loud and clear. 

“Geez, Mom,” Jake groaned, seemingly irked by his mom’s insinuation.

“It’s just you’ve never brought a girl home, Jakey-”

“Okay, we’re leaving now! Layla, come!”

You hadn’t even realized how wide you were grinning until Jake saw you tying your shoelaces and grumbled “What are you smiling so hard for.”

“Nothing,” you giggled, and your smile grew as you watched a grin break through his pretend-upset expression.

You sighed contentedly as you stepped outside, letting the crisp early April air hit your face. You tightened your scarf around your neck and buried your hands in your pocket and you and Jake started walking side by side, Layla happily leading the way. The streets were fairly quiet at this time of day, save for the yells of children still playing in their backyards before dinner and a few cars of people coming home late from work.

Only the first five seconds of the walk were silent, until you couldn’t contain yourself anymore. “So, never brought a girl home, huh?” you asked with a teasing smirk.

Jake let out an offended scoff and looked up to the sky as if God could help him out of this one. Sadly, He didn’t, so Jake had to find an answer himself. “I’m not talking about this with you.”

“Why not?”

Pouting, Jake spared you a sideway glance. “Because you’re a girl,” he replied, voice lowered to a mumble.

You chuckled at this. “Very astute observation, Jake.”

“No, I- Ugh,” he groaned before laughing along with you. “I don’t need a girl to know how bad I am with- well, with girls.”

“I can help with that,” you said before you really thought about it. “I mean, I’m not a love expert by any means, but I can maybe give, I don’t know, pointers or something if there’s someone you like-”

“There’s no one I like,” Jake quickly cut in. “Um, not right now, at least.”

“O-okay,” you replied, nodding. “That’s fine.” 

“What about you? Do you like anyone?”

As Jake asked the question, he realized he already knew the answer - you liked Sunghoon. How could he forget?! Half of his plan had been to make you get closer to his friend, but he hadn’t even started thinking about that yet. In his defense, he’d come up with that plan three days ago.

Your answer surprised him. “Um, no, me neither. Not right now, at least,” you said, repeating his words with a smile on your face. You locked eyes for a second before looking away at the same time, chuckling.

“Right,” he said. He knew what he had read in your diary, so maybe you were just too shy to admit you had a crush on his friend of all people.

An unexpected awkwardness settled between the two of you, and you more than anything wanted it to go away. Even though it’d only been a few days since you and Jake had started getting to know each other, you already felt comfortable enough to be yourself around him, and it usually took you weeks before reaching that level with anyone. This hadn’t happened since you met Yena and Hyewon at the beginning of high school - they had been friends since middle school, and so had you and Chaewon, and when the four of you met, you had instant chemistry. But maybe it was slightly too early to start talking about crushes with Jake.

For once, you were the one to break the silence - you asked him whether he knew what he wanted to do after school. Basic question, but you were genuinely curious. 

Looking a little bashful, he confessed his dream had always been to be a math teacher and soccer coach at a middle or high school. You told him he already had the talent for it, and when he blushed at your words, you made sure to tease him for it.  

“I’m not sure yet,” you said when he returned the question. “I know I wanna go to college and continue doing English Lit and theater there, but that’s about it.”

“That’s already good enough,” Jake said with a smile. “Still got time to figure out what comes after, right?”

You naturally mirrored his smile - there was something contagious about Jake’s puppyish grin that made it hard not to smile yourself. “Right.”

The three of you reached your house quickly after that. Your mom still hadn’t come home from work, so Kiwi was even more excited than usual for your arrival home. You and Jake watched fondly as your dogs sniffed each other for a few seconds before starting to run around together. The fact that they got along made you really happy, perhaps unreasonably so, and you started bouncing up and down on the balls of your feet as you watched them play. “Our dogs are friends!” you exclaimed excitedly. 

When you turned to look at Jake, he wasn’t watching the dogs like you had been - he was gazing straight at you, eyes soft with something that made your heart skip a beat. You couldn’t look away, and it was only after a few seconds that he seemed to snap out of the sort of daze he was in. He cleared his throat and you finally tore your eyes away from him.

“Let me just- Kiwi! I need to put his leash around him,” you said, speaking quickly to dissipate the weird atmosphere as best as you could. You led Jake down the path you usually took with Kiwi that led to a park in your neighborhood, and you were relieved when normal conversation started again.

Jake insisted on walking you back to your house even though he had left his earlier. He made a whole show of not going until you’d walked inside and closed the door, so you’d rushed to your window to shout his name and wave goodbye at him, which made him laugh.

You turned back to Kiwi when Jake and Layla had turned a corner and you couldn’t watch them anymore. “Are you happy you made a new friend, Kiwi?”

The Corgi barked happily at you in response - probably more at hearing his name than because he understood your question, but still, you liked to think you could communicate with your dog on such a level. You chuckled and took him in your arms. “Me too.”

—

Apparently, you couldn’t even wave to someone in the hallway without being interrogated about it anymore.

“Y/N, did you just say hi to Jake Sim?” Chaewon asked like you’d just insulted her whole family.

It was 10 a.m. on a simple Tuesday morning, the day after Jake and you had studied together for the first time, and you’d just walked past the boy - so of course, you said hi to him. Maybe, your heart started beating slightly faster when you’d noticed him approaching. Maybe, it was nice to be on the receiving end of his friendly grin.

“Yes?” you replied, sentence coming out more like a question.

“Since when do you say hi to Jake Sim?!” 

“Since today, I guess.”

“But why?!” She’d raised her voice so much, you’d gotten strange looks from other students in the hallway. 

“I told you!”

She shook her head slowly at you as if to say, No you didn’t!

You rolled your eyes and sighed. Chaewon and her early onset short-term memory loss. “The backpack thing? And agreeing to tutoring each other? I wrote to the group chat about this!”

“Oh, that! Of course I remember that,” she said, even though you knew she had forgotten about it and remembered it just now. “So, has that started already?”

You reached the classroom for your next class and sat down in your usual seats next to each other, waiting for the teacher to arrive. Busy hallways like these were the perfect place for gossip, because they were loud and nobody paid attention to others’ conversations. “Yeah, yesterday afternoon.”

Chaewon gasped. “And you didn’t tell us?!”

“Will you quiet down? I was going to see and tell you guys today anyway.”

“Okay, so, tell me about it.”

“But-”

“Tell. Me.”

You wouldn’t see Yena and Hyewon until lunch in two hours, and you knew Chaewon didn’t have the patience to wait until then. So you sighed again and obliged, telling her about your afternoon with Jake in every detail you could remember, because she would ask about insignificant things anyway. 

To your surprise, the first thing she said when you were done talking was this: “Y/N, do you like Jake?”

Your mouth opened slightly in shock at the question, but before you could even retort, you started giggling. “No, I don’t,” you said in a way that sounded like you very much did.

“Oh my God! You so do!” Chaewon said, giggling along with you. “You whore, you’ve only talked to him, like, twice,” she joked.

You gasped fake-dramatically and slapped her arm. “Oh please, look at Hyewon and Jaemin, they started dating after a week of talking.”

“Yes, and they’ve been going one year strong, so clearly, you need to ask Jake out and get this over with. You’ll get a boyfriend and a math tutor all-in-one, it’s a perfect deal!”

“Don’t get too carried away, okay? Jake and I are friends. Like you said, we barely know each other right now.”

You meant this - sure, you had had a really good time with Jake both times you saw him, and you were looking forward to your next tutoring session, but you chalked it up to the excitement of making a new friend. Plus, barely last week you felt some sort of way towards his best friend - wouldn’t it be weird to practically transfer your feelings from Sunghoon to Jake?

“Whatever. Yena and Hyewon are gonna freak when I tell them,” Chaewon said excitedly.

You shook your head at your friend but couldn’t keep down the amused grin on your face. “You guys are insane.”

“Oh please, like you’re not the president of our Park Sunghoon fanclub. I can’t believe you’re leaving us for his best friend!”

“Hey, if anything, less competition for you, right?”

Chaewon opened her mouth to say something, but the teacher arrived, starting the lesson before having even put her bag down - Mrs Lee always arrived late but never wasted a second of class when she was in the room. Your friend resorted to sticking her tongue out at you instead, and you chuckled at her childishness as you opened your History notebook. 

—

Jake was a complete, total, utter idiot. His plan had consisted of two things only, and he’d somehow managed to forget one of them, even after talking about it with you, albeit vaguely. It had taken him two weeks and one Park Sunghoon to even remember it.

Between Jake’s soccer practice, Sunghoon’s ice skating practice and Jay’s being away at boarding school, the three friends only had one night every week on which they were all free - Friday night. So, every Friday, they planned some sort of hang out at one of their houses and gamed or watched movies all night.

Kinda like date night, but for bros.

This was one of those bro nights; namely, the one in the second week of you and Jake tutoring each other. The boys had decided to go to the burger joint they like that night and were in the middle of a french fry fight when Sunghoon mentioned your and Jake’s new friendship.

“So, Jake… what’s up with you and Y/N?”

Jake halted in his motions, redirecting to his mouth the fry he was about to throw at Jay. “Nothing’s up with me and Y/N. What makes you say that?”

“Just, you know, you seem like you’ve become actual friends. Talking in the hallways and walking your dogs together and whatnot.”

“Y/N as in Y/N? Sunghoon’s Y/N?” Jay said, halfway through a bite of his cheeseburger.

“She’s not my Y/N-”

“Yes, Y/N as in Y/N, you idiot,” Jake cut in. “And like you said, we’re friends.”

“Is she the girl you posted some BeReals with?” Jay asked, and Jake nodded. “She’s pretty! No wonder Sunghoon likes her so much.”

Sunghoon sighed as he let his head hang low. “God forbid I find a girl cute, because I’ll mention it once, two years ago and you guys make me out to be in love with her.”

“Sunghoon, you act like girls don’t exist, so of course when you not only mention a girl, but describe her as cute, that means you’re in love with her!”

“But I’m not! We were literally having a whole conversation about girls, I happened to see Y/N and her friends from far away, I said she was cute, and now you guys won’t let me live it down. Jay, you weren’t even there!”

“Yeah, but the way Jake told me about the whole thing, it really sounded like you liked her.”

“Why would you trust Jake to relay something like this correctly?!”

Jay paused and tilted his head. “You have a point there.”

“Hey!”

“So you don’t, like… like her, or something?” Sunghoon asked, looking at his friend as he sipped on his Pepsi.

This made Jake stop. Did he like you? Wasn’t the fact that he was considering it sign enough? Surely, if there was nothing there, he would have answered no right away.

But there was no use thinking about it. You liked Sunghoon. And as much as he liked to deny it, Jake knew Sunghoon liked you, too. After two years, there was finally an opportunity for the two of you to get closer - Jake wasn’t about to get in the middle of that. If anything, he should help his friends out. Then, when you and Sunghoon eventually got married, Jake would have the honor of saying it was all thanks to him in his best man’s speech. 

“No, I don’t. Don’t worry, Hoon, I’m not gonna steal your girl away from you.”

“Again, she’s not my girl-”

“Whatever you say. I’ll introduce you guys.”

Even if Sunghoon didn’t think he liked you yet, Jake knew it was just a matter of time - his friend just needed to spend a few hours with you to realize he did. You were pretty, smart, funny, nice, had the sweetest laugh he’d ever heard, got along with dogs, and even though you sometimes had weird opinions, it was always fun, talking to you. It was easy and comfortable. Anyone with taste would fall for you.

Anyone, except for Jake, of course.

—

For the past three weeks, you and Jake had gotten along perfectly, but today, on this bright Tuesday afternoon, you really wanted to strangle him. 

When he’d invited you to come and watch him at soccer practice, you’d been surprised, but happy - usually, you invited people to watch an actual game, not just practice. But you were just glad for the opportunity to spend more time with him. 

Without realizing it, you were giddy with excitement the whole day, counting down the minutes until classes were over and Jake’s practice started. Jake had told you to just head to the bleachers while the players got ready in the locker room, but when you reached said bleachers, someone was already sitting there, looking at something on their phone. You recognized him immediately as Sunghoon. He didn’t notice you right away, so you had time to wipe the surprise off of your face - you hadn’t thought anyone came to watch practice, but Sunghoon was probably here for Jake, just like you. 

“Hey,” you said quietly as you sat down next to him. Even though you were technically still on school property, this was the first time you saw Sunghoon outside of somewhere like a classroom, a hallway or the cafeteria. You weren’t as nervous as you thought you’d be, seeing him unexpectedly like this. 

You chuckled when Sunghoon started at your sudden arrival. “Oh, hey, Y/N,” he said, chuckling too, albeit somewhat awkwardly. “Sorry, didn’t hear you coming.”

“It’s fine,” you said with a smile as you sat down next to him on the bleachers. You didn’t know what sort of distance was appropriate between you two, if you should sit close or far, but you stopped yourself before you could overthink something as trivial as that. Neither of you said anything for a few seconds and you wished practice had started before you got here, so that you’d have something to look at other than an empty field.

You broke the silence before it became too uncomfortable. “So, do you come watch Jake often?”

You’d been fiddling with your hands as you spoke, only turning your head to look at Sunghoon as you awaited his answer. Your eyes didn’t even meet for a fraction of a second before he whipped his head to look at the field, as if unable to look at you and talk at the same time. At least he had a nice side profile for you to look at.

“Um, just on Tuesdays. I have ice skating practice after this, so I come here first, then he comes with me to the rink,” he replied. He glanced at you, lips pressed into a thin line that somewhat resembled a smile and that pushed dimples into his cheeks. You simply hummed in response. 

“What about you, how come you’re here?”

“Jake asked me,” you replied. Sunghoon let out a long “oh” as he nodded, turning his head back towards the field again. You didn’t think you’d ever had such a slow conversation. It was like you and Sunghoon both repeated your words ten times over in your heads before saying them out loud.

“Are you coming to my practice, too?” he asked after another pause.

The question took you aback slightly as you hadn’t even considered it, but it could be fun, seeing Sunghoon practice ice skating. It’d also be fun to hang out with Jake. “If it’s fine with you, then yeah, why not,” you replied, smiling at Sunghoon. He glanced at you again before looking away with a smile, an actual one this time that showed his teeth and made his eyes crinkle.

“Yeah, sure. People usually only come to actual shows, so I like it when someone’s there to watch practice.” Before you could find something to say, the players arrived jogging onto the field, immediately starting their warm-up laps. Some were serious about it and stayed focused as they ran, while others goofed around, running backwards and slapping other players on their butts before sprinting away. Jake, of course, was part of the latter group.

Now that something was actually happening on the field, you and Sunghoon had an excuse not to make conversation anymore. You tried to ignore it, but it was so awkward you wanted to die. You realized now why you were so attracted to people like Jake and Chaewon - without even being aware of it, they brought you out of your shell and made you feel at ease. You wished you could do that on your own, but you were always too scared, so you needed that person who was confident enough showing themselves to you first to make you feel comfortable doing the same. You and Sunghoon, unfortunately, were too similar in that sense to do that for each other. So you just sat there in silence, observing Jake and waving back at him when he caught your gazes.

The ninety minutes of practice didn’t go by in total silence - you asked Sunghoon about some soccer rules you didn’t get, and he shared some anecdotes from his and Jake’s earlier teenage years, including a very entertaining story about a tantrum 9-year-old Jake had thrown when he hadn’t agreed with the red card the referee had given him. You weren’t sure how the topic came up, but at some point, you even shared pictures of your pets. Sunghoon had one of those small crusty white dogs, but you kept your laughter in and cooed over how cute she was. 

But still, most of the time, you were watching Jake. You had never been interested in soccer or any sort of sport that involved balls until now. Somehow, he managed to make flushed cheeks, a heaving chest and hairline beaded with sweat look glorious. In total honesty, you were paying more attention to the player himself than to the sport, to the point that you barely noticed when he scored a goal during their practice match. It was only when Jake started cheering and high-fiving his teammates that you realized what had happened, and you gave him two thumbs up and a wide grin when he looked your and Sunghoon’s way, proudly shouting “Did you see that?!”

The realization hit you like a ton of bricks right there and then. The way your heart swelled as you watched his excited, puppyish grin take over his features was undeniable - you liked Jake. You like liked him. Your gaze continued to follow him as he finished his celebratory lap. If you could’ve seen yourself right then, you’d probably have been embarrassed by your awestruck expression and slightly agape mouth, but you couldn’t help yourself.

Much to your dismay, you realized that Chaewon had seen right through you. You hadn’t wanted to read too much into your feelings, but they had become too obvious to ignore. You hadn’t experienced them yourself since middle school (Choi Soobin had really been a heartbreaker back then), but you’d heard about the telltale signs of a crush too many times not to know about them. It was now clear that the way you felt about Jake and the way you had felt about Sunghoon were worlds apart. Feeling nervous around him and your heart skipping a beat when you made eye contact; wanting to see him smile; laughing at all his jokes, even the bad ones; missing him even though it’d been seconds since you said goodbye, and counting down the days until you saw him again. And, yes, looking at his pictures on social media over and over again. You did all those things, so you knew there was no point in lying to yourself anymore - you liked Jake Sim. 

It didn’t help that he was always kind to you, never making you feel stupid for not understanding something in your tutoring sessions and being patient enough to explain the same thing over and over again. He always paid attention to small things, which never failed to make your heart race, like asking after your aging cat’s condition after you’d told him he had a health check-up over the weekend or stocking up on your favorite snack the week after you’d told him about it. He’d also immediately picked up on your habit of teasing the people you felt comfortable with and you loved how he returned it tenfold. It was as much fun debating with him over nothing and making him shut up with your senseless arguments as it was being rendered speechless when he came up with the perfect retort. 

And of course, there was no denying that Jake was ridiculously attractive. There were times you got so caught up in the way his lips moved as he spoke or the way his fingers looked as he pointed at numbers on the page that your mind completely blanked out and you stopped listening to his words for a few seconds. You didn’t know what to make of his small chuckle and smirk when he noticed your gaze fixated on him, but you knew it wasn’t good for your heart. And let’s not even get started on the fact that sitting so close to him meant you could smell the lingering scent of his cologne every single time.

Even now, with flushed cheeks and hair slicked back with sweat, you want to run onto the field and give him a big smooch on his cheek, telling him you were proud of him for scoring that goal.

But even though you were getting closer and he had offered for you to come watch his practice, you squashed down as best as you could any hope that he might feel the same way about you. Even if he insisted he was bad with girls, Jake was popular at school, and you were sure there were many other girls who had a crush on him - so why would he like you of all people?

Sunghoon’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts. “Every time he scores, he acts like it’s the first time he’s ever done it,” he said, chuckling and shaking his head at his friend’s over-dramatic antics. The coach was trying to get Jake to calm down so that the game could resume.

“He’s so cute,” you said, voice quiet, before you could stop yourself. But as soon as the words were out, you realized what you’d done, and your eyes doubled in size as you turned to look at Sunghoon. He had whipped his head to look at you, too, and his eyes were just as big as yours. Then, he burst into laughter, and you hoped the Earth would suddenly open beneath your feet and swallow you whole. 

When his surprise had subsided, Sunghoon turned to you again, an incredulous but amused glint in his eyes. “Did you just call Jake cute?”

You crossed your arms over your chest, slightly frowning as you avoided Sunghoon’s gaze. “I just meant, you know, it’s cute how excited he got. I didn’t say he was cute,” you mumbled, knowing you were doing a poor job of defending yourself.

“That’s exactly what you said, though. You said, and I quote, He’s so cute.” You glared at Sunghoon. Who knew he would only become talkative once it came to teasing you about Jake? 

His expression softened slightly when he realized you might actually be upset about this, and he turned his attention back towards the field, smile growing when he found his friend. “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything.”

“There’s nothing to be said anyway.”

“Oh? So you don’t mind if I tell Jake that you have the biggest, fattest crush on- hmph!”

You’d cut Sunghoon off by pressing your palm to his mouth, mustering the most menacing look you could to scare him off. “I do not,” you said firmly as you moved your hand away from him.

“Sure, you don’t,” he replied, chuckling. Clearly, your most menacing look wasn’t so menacing.

“I get why Jake’s so annoying now, it’s because he’s friends with you.”

Sunghoon raised an amused eyebrow at this. “He might be annoying, but he’s also cute, right?”

“Shut up!” you shrieked immediately, but you couldn’t stop the grin forcing its way onto your lips.

“Just saying,” Sunghoon said, and you laughed together. Maybe you should’ve been more worried about Jake’s literal best friend finding out you had a crush on him, but you somehow trusted Sunghoon not to blabber about it. Whether because he was nice or because he wanted to watch you struggle with your feelings, you weren’t sure, but at least you felt your secret was safe with him.

You looked back at the field, and just as your eyes found Jake, you saw him turn his head away. Had you seen him just seconds prior, you might have noticed the crease in his eyebrows as he watched you and Sunghoon laugh together. Sunghoon isn’t that funny, he thought, what could you be laughing so hard about?

He didn’t understand the sudden weight in his heart at the sight of you and his friend getting along so well. This was his whole plan after all - force some proximity between you and Sunghoon so that you could talk and hopefully make your feelings clear to each other after some time. Clearly, it was working. So why was it bothering him so much? 

He had to turn his attention back to the game, so he could only ruminate over it for five seconds, but for the remaining thirty minutes, he could barely focus on anything. Whenever he glanced back at you and Sunghoon, you were both looking at him and not talking to each other, and that somehow bothered him even more. 

He used his time in the lockers to get out of the weird mood he was in - whatever was going on between you and Sunghoon, he didn’t want to ruin it by being grumpy. So when he came back out and found the two of you waiting for him at the bus stop, he put on his best smile. 

Having you around made his usual Tuesday afternoon with Sunghoon more fun - after years of friendship, Sunghoon ignored most of his jokes and could tune the sound of his voice out, but you still laughed at everything he said, and his heart swelled with pride every time he made you laugh.

It was only a ten-minute bus ride from the school to the ice rink so you still had twenty minutes to spare before Sunghoon’s lesson started. As always after soccer practice, Jake was famished, so you stopped by a convenience store and got more snacks than you really needed.

You sat next to Sunghoon and across from Jake at a picnic table in front of the ice rink, watching the boy in front of you with fascination as he gorged himself on banana milk and chocolate snacks.

“God, how long has it been since you last ate?” you asked with genuine concern in your voice. Sunghoon followed your gaze towards Jake, only then noticing his friend’s feral behavior as if this was a normal occurrence for them.

“Like three hours,” Jake answered. “I’m starving. So hungry I could eat Sunghoon.”

When he looked up, you were both peering at him with furrowed eyebrows and bewildered expressions on your faces. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Do you mean that Sunghoon is a horse?” you asked.

Jake mirrored your confused expressions. “What? No, why would I say that?”

“The saying goes, so hungry I could eat a horse, dumbass,” Sunghoon chimed in.

“Why would I eat a horse?” Jake replied, shaking his head and chuckling at you and Sunghoon like you were the ones who had gotten a basic idiom wrong.

“Why would you eat me?” Sunghoon bit back, sounding almost offended.

“It’s just a saying, dude.”

Half-an-hour and two whole packets of biscuits later, you and Jake sat side-by-side on the benches, watching Sunghoon as he did his warm-ups on the ice. This was your first time seeing a professional ice skater and you were transfixed, to say the least. He was just skating across the rink and rolling his arms and neck to get the muscles moving, but it all seemed so effortless and elegant that you couldn’t help but watch with your mouth slightly open, eyes eager to keep up with Sunghoon’s figure.

You were so mesmerized that you had no idea Jake was practically burning holes into the side of your face. Eyes narrowed and nose scrunched in disgust, he couldn’t believe you were enjoying the show in front of you that much. “He’s not even doing anything special right now, you know,” he said, but it only made him realize that when Sunghoon did start doing cool stuff, you’d like it even more.

Your head barely budged in Jake’s direction as you answered him, and your eyes certainly didn’t leave Sunghoon. “Really? It already looks so cool, though.” Jake scoffed, but that still didn’t get your attention, which made him scoff again. He crossed his arms over his chest and frowned like a child whose parent wasn’t paying attention to their drawing. 

“Cooler than me?”

Finally, you look at me, Jake thought, and his frown immediately dissipated into a grin when your eyes met. But judging by the teasing way your lips curled up, he already knew he wasn’t going to like your answer.

“Cooler than you,” you replied before turning your attention back to the rink.

Jake leans back with a pout, opting to glare at his friend instead of you. He tried to put himself in your shoes and figure out what it was about Sunghoon you liked so much that Jake didn’t also have. Devastatingly good looks? Check. Charming smile? Check. Cute dog? Check - Jake more so than Sunghoon. Brains? Okay, both of them lacked this. Good personality? Check - however, you needed months before Sunghoon revealed himself to you, whereas Jake was outgoing and was comfortable even with people he’d just met. 

So why was the bearer of your affection Sunghoon and not Jake?

And why did Jake even care that you liked his friend over him in the first place?

It wasn’t like Jake liked you - he couldn’t like a girl that his best friend liked - so why did this at all matter to him? If anything, the fact that you liked Sunghoon back should’ve been something to rejoice over. It had been, up until now, and Jake couldn’t figure out why. He couldn’t figure out this weird sensation that had plagued him in the soccer field and followed him to the ice rink as he watched you watch Sunghoon with amazement.

Jake was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t even notice when you detached your eyes from Sunghoon, who was talking to his coach, and tilted your head at him. “Jake?” 

The boy only let out a low hum, still too upset to look at you.

An amused grin made your lips quirk up. “Are you pouting because I said Sunghoon was cooler than you?”

Jake scoffed, turning his head away from you. “No.”

A pause. “So you don’t mind if I go on and on about how elegant and beautiful ice skating is, while running after a ball and kicking it is the basis of the stupidest sport in the world?”

Jake glared at you, but it only made you smile more. “It’s not stupid.”

Despite himself, his pretend angry facade broke apart at the sound of your airy giggles. Jake didn’t think his ears had ever been graced with such a pretty sound before - he slapped himself mentally as soon as that thought crossed his mind. 

His heart did jumps and spins more impressive than Sunghoon’s when you reached a hand out to ruffle his hair, shaking your head at his behavior. For once, he was glad that you turned back to Sunghoon so that you wouldn’t see the bright blush spreading all over his face.

For the next hour, Jake put his weird feelings to the side and watched his friend practice his routine for his upcoming competition. Even he had to admit that Sunghoon looked pretty cool doing what he loved.

You told him you found it all the more impressive because you’d never skated before, so it looked unachievable to you, and an idea immediately formed in Jake’s mind. As soon as Sunghoon’s practice was over, he rushed over to his friend and asked if the two of you could join him on the ice. Sunghoon turned to his coach, who simply shrugged.

“I trust you to look after them,” she said. “Just make sure to be out when the hockey team gets here.”

Before you knew it, Jake was helping you tie up your ice skates (the sight of which made you faint-hearted) and both boys helped you onto the ice rink, each holding onto one of your hands as you tried not to freak out at the feeling of your knees being so wobbly. Sunghoon demonstrated how to move around the ice, and soon enough, you’d gotten the hang of it - but you still made sure to keep Jake at an arm’s length so you could grab onto him every time you lost your balance. Jake stayed by your side, smiling fondly at how excited you looked and cheering you on every time you took a step of your own. Sunghoon, on the other hand, seemed to find it funny to watch from afar and point and laugh every time you stumbled.

After some time, Sunghoon announced he was feeling hungry and decided to go eat some snacks, leaving you and Jake alone in the rink. The wink Sunghoon threw your way when Jake wasn’t looking let you know what his true intentions were, and you couldn’t believe Jake’s best friend had just become your wingman.

“Feeling ready to skate around the rink?” Jake asked. His boyish grin was contagious, and you found yourself matching it even though you were still nervous about moving around too much.

“If you help me,” you answered tentatively, looking at him worriedly as you held out your hand for him to take. The softness of his gaze as he smiled down at you made you want to melt into a puddle on the floor.

“Of course,” he said, taking your hand in his warm one. Your fingers intertwined as if out of second nature and you thought you finally understood why people said their hands were meant to hold someone else’s.

Being friends with an ice skater for such a long time meant Jake had acquired some skill, too, which is why he could so easily show you how to turn or pick up speed. Whenever you lost your balance, he was always quick enough to make sure you didn’t actually fall, picking you up before your backside could touch the ice. He found your frightened expression every time you thought you would fall absolutely adorable, but your pout and slight frown whenever he teased you were somehow even cuter.

He only let go of your hand after some ten minutes (neither of you had even begun to question Sunghoon’s whereabouts by then) when he came to stand in front of you, a serious expression on his face.

“I think you’re ready, Y/N,” he declared solemnly.

“Ready for…?” you asked, scared of whatever he had in mind.

He leaned in slightly and the sudden proximity took you aback, but he didn’t seem to realize. A mischievous smirk broke through his handsome features. “A race,” he whispered, then skated to one edge of the rink and motioned for you to follow him. Reluctantly, you did.

“First to the other edge has to…” he thought for a second, gazing at the ceiling. You wanted to be mad at him for proposing a race when you’d literally just learned how to skate, but how could you when he looked so cute and giddy, searching for the loser’s penalty? “Buy the other ice cream!”

Your eyes were probably the image of tenderness as you looked at him. “Deal,” you said, wanting to sound as playful as him but voice coming out soft. Since when had you fallen so hard for him?

You held each other’s gazes for a couple more seconds before both turning in front of you, getting ready for your race. Jake counted down from three, and your skating wasn’t so bad at first - until you got too cocky for your own good, trying to go at a pace you clearly couldn’t handle. Before you knew it, your knees betrayed you and you found yourself tripping over, your butt making a loud thump sound as it came into contact with the ice.

On your way down, you’d shrieked Jake’s name, and he was at your side in the blink of an eye, holding your shoulder and looking at you worriedly. The pain was immediate, and for a few seconds, you couldn’t answer him and reassure him that you were fine.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have asked to race, God Y/N I’m so stupid I’m so sorry are you okay I didn’t want you to get hurt-”

“Jake,” you squeaked.

“Yeah?”

“I’m okay, calm down,” you said when the pain subsided, managing a smile. “I’ll just have a sore butt tomorrow.” He chuckled at the word ‘butt,’ but you didn’t have it in you to roll his eyes at his childishness.

“Are you sure you’re okay? There’s an infirmary here-”

“I’m sure, Jakey-poo,” you teased, making him lose the concerned expression as he bore an unimpressed one instead.

“I guess you are fine if you can think to call me that. Come on, up!” he said as he stood up, reaching his hands out for you to take. Just as he helped you up, Sunghoon came sprinting and stood at the entrance to the rink.

“Is everything okay? I heard a yell,” he said, slightly out-of-breath with half a biscuit in his mouth. Guess he really was eating this whole time.

You and Jake laughed and shook your head at him, and you reassured him that everything was fine. 

“Good, ‘cause the hockey team’s here and we have to go anyway.”

There was a bus that took Sunghoon directly from the ice rink to his house, but you and Jake had to go back to the school to catch the one you usually took, which meant you had a forty-minute journey in front of you. And yet, Jake’s company made those forty minutes feel like five, and you found yourself disappointed when the bus neared your stop.

“If you want, we can still go walk Kiwi and Layla,” he offered shyly a few minutes before your stop, as if he’d read your mind. 

“I’d love to.” You watched as his small smile bloomed into a wider one.

“I’m glad,” he chuckled, relieved. “I was scared you’d be tired of me after spending the whole afternoon together,” he admitted, looking down at his lap with a bashful expression on his face. It wasn’t often that Jake looked timid like this, but whenever he did, your heart tripled in size.

“I don’t think I could get tired of you.” You were too shy to look him in the eye while you said this, but in your peripheral, you saw his grin get impossibly wider and his eyebrows raise. He bumped your shoulder with his, making the both of you burst into giggles.

You were still smiling long after you’d come home from your walk.

—

Unfortunately for Jake, forcing you and Sunghoon to sit together for ninety minutes hadn’t resulted in the two of you confessing your undying love for the other and getting together - clearly, his plan hadn’t worked very well. But Jake, instead of coming up with another strategy, decided he should just basically do the same thing again and hope it went better this time. 

Bro night had been a tradition for the past three years that the boys only very rarely broke, in cases of illness, filial obligations or important competitions the following day. This wasn’t any one of those cases, but Jake decided bro night must be slightly sacrificed that night - for your and Sunghoon’s sake. Years down the line, he knew you’d thank him.

This was why he tricked you into thinking you had been invited to bro night (you’d heard a lot about it and considered it an honor to be included) when really, he made Jay promise not to show at the cinema so that you and Sunghoon could be alone. The two of them would make up an excuse about not being able to make it on time and show up later at the diner (“If you want to set them up, shouldn’t we also leave them alone after the movie?” Jay had asked Jake over the phone, and Jake had been unable to explain why he didn’t want you to spend the whole night alone with Sunghoon).

“They ditched us,” Sunghoon had said in lieu of a greeting when you found him at the entrance of the cinema. He turned his phone screen towards you, showing you their group chat - Jay had had some sort of meeting at his school that had run late and Jake had to go to the vet suddenly because Layla kept making weird noises.

“Oh no, I hope she’ll be okay,” you said, voice laced with genuine worry.

Sunghoon just sighed. “I’m sure she will.” He knew what his friends were up to - it almost never happened that one of them was unable to make it to bro night, so two at once? They were clearly lying. He would make sure to tell Jake how worried sick you were about his dog’s fake illness later on just so his friend would feel extra guilty.

You had been looking forward to hanging out with Jake and his friends all day, so you were disappointed to know he wouldn’t make it until later. It wasn’t much comfort that the movie they had picked, some recent Marvel release, was one you were not at all interested in, and you couldn’t even obsess over Jake’s presence next to you instead of the movie because he wasn’t there. You’d have to sit with awkward, quiet Sunghoon for God knows how long - at least the cinema wasn’t much of a talking place. 

You declined his kind offer of sharing a big popcorn tub - you didn’t want to risk a cliché reaching-for-popcorn-at-the-same-time moment with Sunghoon, although you’d daydreamed and giggled about it happening with Jake earlier that day. Instead, you sipped grumpily on your Cherry Coke, watching the trailers for upcoming movies and discussing them with Sunghoon. (“I’m so excited for the Barbie movie,” he’d surprised you by saying. Maybe he wasn’t so bad.)

As the lights dimmed, announcing the imminent start of the movie, Sunghoon whispered something that completely changed your mind about Marvel. “It’s so stupid that Jake isn’t here, seriously. He’s been going on and on about going to see this movie since the trailer came out.” Suddenly, you’d never felt the need to pay attention to something more than this. 

Well, in your humble opinion, the film wasn’t anything to write home about. It was a lot of loud action scenes with some funny one-liners that, okay, you chuckled at. And the actors were hot. You could sort of see why Jake would enjoy Marvel movies, although you yourself liked films with more social commentary, such as Mean Girls or Bee Movie. You’d need to make Jake watch Twilight one of these days - you were sure he’d like the soundtrack, if nothing else.

At least, you and Sunghoon have something to talk about during your short walk to the diner. As you enter the restaurant, a familiar voice calling out your name catches you off-guard.

“Chaewon? I thought you didn’t work on Friday nights!” you exclaimed, letting your friend bring you into a hug. You gave her a once-over - she always looked so pretty in her work uniform, white t-shirt dress draping her body perfectly, apron cinching at her waist, and short pigtails under her 50’s style diner hat. If the blush spreading on Sunghoon’s cheeks at her sudden appearance was anything to go by, his thoughts might not have been too far from yours.

She pouted, taking your hands in hers and swaying them between the two of you. “I usually don’t, but Yunjin asked me to trade shifts and she always says yes when I ask her, so I felt bad saying no.” You nodded and she turned to Sunghoon.

“Hi, Sunghoon!”

“H-hi, Chaewon.”

“Where’s Jay and Jake?” she asked, looking behind the two of you. You’d told the group chat about your evening plans and a lot of freaking out had taken place. 

“Should be here any minute,” you sighed, and when she looked at you questioningly, you told her you’d explain later.

She sat you at a four-person booth by the window and brought you drinks (“On the house,” she’d said with a wink, but you weren’t sure this had been allowed by any of her superiors) for you to sip on while you waited for the others. Every time she was free, she came over to your table and gossiped about the customers. You did not miss the way Sunghoon’s face lit up whenever she approached you.

Jake and Jay see you before you see them. Jay, the only one with a driver’s license out of the three, had picked Jake up, and he was parking his car when Jake gasped loudly, making Jay jump. “I’m trying to park, man, can you be calm?”

“What’s she doing here?” Jake exclaimed, completely ignoring his friend.

Jay followed Jake’s gaze, but he wasn’t sure what his friend was going on about. All he saw was you, whom he recognized from pictures only, Sunghoon, and a waitress that seemed overly-friendly. “Who?” he asked.

“Chaewon,” Jake hissed, like her name was a curse. “She’s ruining our plan!”

Jay sighed. “First of all, this is your plan. Second of all, it was ruined from the beginning. And by that, I mean that your plan sucks, Jake.”

Jake clicked his teeth. “Whatever. Let’s just go,” he said, getting out of the car and heading straight for you. He made sure to give Chaewon a pointed look as he sat next to you in the booth, but she just seemed happy that more people had arrived. 

You bumped your knee into his to get his attention. “Hi,” you said with a smile.

He looked at you dumbly for a few seconds before Jay cleared his throat awkwardly. “Hi. This is Jay,” he said, tilting his head towards the boy but not taking his eyes off of you. You and Jay exchanged hey’s before Chaewon took your order, quickly giving it to the kitchen and scanning the room to make sure every table had what they needed, then headed back to your table. 

“Is Layla okay?” you asked Jake, worry making your brows furrow.

“Huh?” The sudden mention of his dog took him aback. Why wouldn’t she be okay?

“Layla?” you repeated, tilting your head. “Is she okay? You said you had to go to the vet.”

His eyes widened as he remembered his lie from earlier, and he started nodding frantically. “Oh yeah, yeah, she’s fine, we panicked over nothing,” he said with a nervous giggle. Jake was the worst liar Jay and Sunghoon had ever seen, but you were none the wiser.

“What about you, Jay? How was your school thing?” Sunghoon asked, turning to his friend with a glare and making him choke on his Coke.

“Oh, that was fine too, I guess,” Jay mumbled.

As expected, Jake and Chaewon were experts at leading the conversation, and Jay himself was pretty talkative. They all bounced off of each other naturally, and even Sunghoon knew how to throw in witty remarks now and there. You also participated, but you were more than happy just listening to them and laughing along. You tried not to think too much about how your knee would bump into Jake’s once in a while, or how he seemed to look at you every time he made a joke.

At some point, Chaewon had rushed over to your table, looking right at you with wide eyes and beaming. “Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God, Y/N, hat guy is here!” 

You instantly mirrored her expression. “Where where where?” you asked, lifting your body up to scan around the restaurant.

“Over there in the corner, but be discreet!”

You were not at all discreet as your eyes found said hat guy, noting with satisfaction that he was characteristically hatless, and you burst into laughter. “I can’t believe he’s here!”

“Right? Probably has the munchies or something,” Chaewon said, laughing along.

You only noticed then the perplexed looks all three boys were sending your way. “Who the heck is hat guy?” Jake asked, which only made you and Chaewon laugh harder.

“You wouldn’t get it,” she replied airily, waving Jake off as she made her way to a customer who had called for her. 

The boys turned to you and you shrunk in your seat at their attention. “Just a guy the girls and I find funny,” you explained, shrugging and glancing quickly at Sunghoon. If only he knew about all the times you and the girls had gossiped about him, even though he’d done nothing of importance.

When her shift was over, the first thing Chaewon did was take off her apron, then dragged you to the bathroom, where she drilled you for details about your cinema “date” with Sunghoon. 

“It was not a date, it just ended up being the two of us because the others couldn’t make it,” you insisted, but she wasn’t having it. “There’s nothing to say anyway. We got there, talked a bit, watched the movie, walked here, and that’s it.”

Chaewon sighed, shaking her head as she reapplied her lip gloss. A small smile made its way onto your lips. “I think he’s into someone else anyway.” 

You noticed how her hand faltered for a split second. “Oh yeah? Who?” she asked, trying to appear nonchalant, but you knew your friend too well. 

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” 

Unbeknownst to either of you, the discussion between the boys back at the table was not too different from yours.

“Bro, I’m literally going to kill you,” Sunghoon whisper-yelled even though you were way out of earshot already. “Do you know how awkward that was?”

“Just so you know, I had nothing to do with this,” Jay said. “I told him that putting two socially constipated idiots like you wouldn’t end well, but he wouldn’t listen.”

“Y/N’s not an idiot!” Jake immediately reacted.

“And I am?!” Sunghoon retorted.

Jay just rolled his eyes.

“You are, because this is the second time you’re alone together with the girl you like and you can barely make conversation with her.”

“For the last time, I don’t like her, I just called her cute once in freshman year-”

“Same thing!”

“Jake, I don’t know how many times I can tell you the same thing before you get it. I’ve been around Y/N enough to know I don’t like her like that, okay? We’ve had two classes where we sat together for a whole semester, and we’ve worked with other people in group projects. Not to mention, you’ve made me sit through one of your practices with her. She’s nice. She sends me the homework when I miss class. She even laughs at my jokes sometimes. And her dog is super cute. I’m sure we’d be better friends if we both didn’t have crippling shyness, but I don’t like her like that. I just don’t.”

“But how?!”

“What do you mean how? This sorta thing doesn’t have any sort of reasonable answer, you just do or you don’t. I don’t. Clearly, you do.”

Jake heard the last part of Sunghoon’s words, and promptly decided to ignore them. He had to understand this first - he’d figure out his feelings later. “This whole time, I thought you were just downplaying your feelings, ‘cause you’re an awkward asshole who doesn’t do emotions,” he said, eyes tightly shut and holding his head, the confusion making his brain hurt.

“Okay, ouch. But no, I wasn’t. I really don’t know what got into your head.”

“I know what got into his head,” Jay said. Both of his friends looked at him questioningly, so he went on. “When Sunghoon mentioned Y/N, you probably thought she was super cute too, Jake. But because of bro code and whatnot, you didn’t wanna show any interest. And then as you saw her around more, you probably liked her more, but you thought Sunghoon liked her, so you sort of gave him your crush on her instead of dealing with it. You lived vicariously through him, basically. Except you’re an idiot because he doesn’t even like her like that, so you could’ve shot your shot a long time ago already. I don’t know why you didn’t just listen to him, to be honest,” Jay finished, shrugging.

“You also thought he liked her!” Jake retorted.

“That’s besides the point. The point is that you’re stupid.”

“But- but, what about all those times you talked about her? I didn’t make those up!” 

Sunghoon rolled his eyes. “The most I ever said about her was something like, Y/N and I both forgot our textbook today, or Y/N brought cookies for the class because it’s her birthday. You were always the one to notice her everywhere and go, There’s your crush, or something.”

Jake sighed, defeated. He could admit Sunghoon was right about something, and he was wrong - but he hated that Jay was also right. Had he really managed to bury his feelings for you all these years just for what he thought was Sunghoon’s sake? Sure, he was a loyal friend, but that felt a little much.

“Whatever,” he mumbled, recoiling from his friends’ expectant gazes and taking a sad bite of his cheeseburger. “It’s not like she likes me back, or anything.” 

He watched in confusion as Sunghoon let out a loud groan, screwing his eyes shut and taking his head in his hands as if it hurt. “This is so frustrating, I’m going to kill myself.”

Jake turned to Jay for some sort of explanation to their friend’s sudden suicidal thoughts, but Jay just looked back at Jake with disgust. “When did you become so dumb? I swear you didn’t use to be like this,” he said, shaking his head in disappointment.

Jake’s eyes flickered between his two friends in utter dismay. “What?”

“Jake,” Jay started. “Do you really, honestly, genuinely think Y/N doesn’t like you?”

The boy leaned back in his seat with a pout. “Yeah,” he mumbled.

Sunghoon’s head whipped up at this. Jake gulped at the intense glare his friend fixed him with - he’d never looked so angry with him, and it made Jake wonder what on Earth he could have said or done that made Sunghoon so upset. “Why?” he asked simply, but the frustration was evident in his voice.

Your diary popped up in Jake’s head. What he had read was clear. Of course, the entry dated from over a month ago now, but why would your feelings have changed since then? Jake sighs deeply, getting ready to reveal to his friends what he’d seen, but then he sees you and Chaewon emerging from the bathroom. “They’re coming back,” he mumbled.

It was Sunghoon and Jay’s turn to sigh. “Just pay attention to her, Jake, okay?” Jay instructed, giving his friend an intent look.

“I already do,” Jake replied, frowning.

“No, really pay attention to her. Then use your pea-sized brain for once in your life, and maybe you’ll realize something.”

A strongly-worded reply was on the tip of Jake’s tongue, but all thoughts of violence and murdering his friend were replaced by images of rainbows and pretty flowers when you smiled at him. He felt like the biggest of idiots for liking you so much and only realizing it now.

“Hi,” he said dumbly as you found your seat next to him again, then stole a french fry from you even though he had many left himself. When you gasped at his audacity, he just giggled.

“Hey!” you exclaimed in protest before stealing a fry back. 

If you hadn’t been so caught up in your little world, you’d have noticed the knowing look your three friends exchanged and their simultaneous eye roll. 

—

The following Monday, you decided to have your tutoring session at your house instead of Jake’s. His mom was away at a convention for the week, so you’d have to take the bus anyway - since your house was two stops earlier, you offered to switch it up for once. Jake had never actually been inside your house and was curious to see what it was like, so he eagerly agreed. 

Kiwi was happy to see him and followed the two of you around the house as you gave Jake a quick tour before going up to your room. When you reached the top landing, you realized that Kiwi was still at the bottom of the stairs and was looking up at you expectantly. “Is she not allowed upstairs?” Jake asked.

“Usually not, but I let her come up when my mom’s not here. Come on Kiwi! It’s okay!”

Kiwi didn’t need to be told twice - she trudged her little body up the stairs, and you couldn’t help but giggle at her adorableness. “She’s so cute,” you cooed, looking at your dog with a huge smile on your face.

“She really is,” Jake agreed, but when you turned your head to face him, he wasn’t looking at Kiwi - he was looking straight at you, a softness in his eyes that made your stomach turn. He snapped out of it when he noticed your round, surprised eyes, and cleared his throat. “So, where’s your room?” he asked, looking around the hallway and avoiding your gaze.

“Over there,” you replied, fighting the smile that tried to make its way to your lips as you headed towards your room, Jake and Kiwi following right behind. 

You told Jake to wait for a second as you went to get a second chair. When you came back, he was standing in front of your shelves, upper body slightly bent forwards to observe all the decorations and framed pictures closer. You placed the chair next to your desk then joined him, answering all the questions he had about the items on your shelves. Who’s this? When was this? Where did you get this? In his defense, you really did have a lot of things - you were trying to get rid of your hoarding habits, but you got attached to every small thing that held some sort of significance. You went to sit at the edge of your bed and just watched him, his eyes glinting with curiosity.

It reminded you of the first time you’d been to his house, how upset he’d seemed when you talked about his baby pictures and how you hadn’t wanted to risk looking at all the stuff in his room. You were also curious about things like that, and you wondered once again what had bothered him so much. The question was burning your tongue - although you were nervous to ask it, not wanting to upset Jake once more, you now knew him well enough to know he wasn’t the type to stay mad for long. 

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Jake replied, fingers toying with your favorite Littlest Pet Shop figurine you had kept from when you were eight.

“Why didn’t you want me to look at your baby photos that one time?”

Jake paused at your words. He stood up straight and set the figurine back on the shelf. He glanced at you before walking over to your bed and taking a seat next to you, leaning back on his palms while you rested your hands underneath your thighs. 

“You probably noticed I don’t mention my dad, right? Or the fact that he’s never home?” 

You nodded in response. You had noticed it, but you’d never brought the topic up in case it might be sensitive. Jake sighed. “He passed away when I was six.”

You turned your head towards him. To your surprise, his face remained expressionless - you couldn’t detect any sort of sadness or anger in his features, as if he was just reciting a fact. His uncharacteristic numbness upset you even more than any tears could have. 

He met your gaze and gave you a small smile. “I was so young that I only have very vague memories of him, like playing soccer together in the backyard or a trip to the beach with my parents and my brother. I only remember his face and his voice from the photos and videos my mom has shown me.” He sighed again, shifting forwards and resting his hands in his lap, fiddling with his fingers. “So when I see these pictures, they sort of just remind me of what I’ve lost? I really don’t like lingering on them. I sort of just ignore them every time I walk up or down the stairs.”

“I’m sorry, I wouldn’t have mentioned them if I’d known-”

Jake is quick to shake his head. “No, no, don’t be sorry. You couldn’t have guessed.” You want to comfort Jake in some way, thank him for telling you something so personal, but you’re not sure what words to use - so, instead, you take one of his hands in yours and bring it to your lap, then cover it with your other one. Your eyes meet for a second - he looks slightly taken aback at first, but then, his eyes drift down to your joined hands, and a small blush spreads on his cheeks.

“I’m- I’m okay, really. Like I said, it happened so long ago that I’m used to not having a dad now. It almost feels like it’s always been that way, which makes it even weirder to think it wasn’t. It’s just… It feels weird to miss someone I barely remember so much, you know?”

You nodded and let out a low hum. “I do know.” Jake tilted his head at you, silently asking you to go on. “It’s different, but I get that feeling of missing something you barely remember. I have these blurry memories of my parents being happy together and the three of us being a happy family, and then all of a sudden it’s hearing arguments from my room and my dad moving out, and they’re asking me, Do you wanna live with mom or dad?”

You watched as Jake moved his hand slightly, intertwining your fingers together and squeezing your hand. “I was older than you were when they divorced, so I guess I have more memories to hold onto, but they hurt more than anything.” You let out a deep sigh. “My dad cheated, so it’s not like I wished my mom had stayed with him, but I was too young to understand what was happening. I just wanted my parents together again.” 

When you lifted your head to look at him, he met your gaze, and his eyes were so soft yet so intense, like he was seeing right into you. Then he chuckled. “Do you ever get jealous of other people’s parents?” he asks, a shy smile playing on his lips.

“All the time,” you admitted with a chuckle, relieved to find out you weren’t the only one. “Yena has been blessed with these like, practically perfect parents that are still in love after twenty years, never argue and have a healthy relationship with all of their kids. I’m so in awe every time I see them.”

“Sunghoon’s parents are like that. I feel terrible, but every time they come to cheer him on at his competitions, I just get so jealous, wishing I also had three people coming to see my games and not just two. And I always feel so silly for feeling that way.”

“You’re not silly for that, Jake,” you said, and the honesty in your voice seemed to take him aback slightly. A grin spread on your lips. “You may be silly for other things, but not for that,” you teased, making him chuckle. “I can be your third person, if you want,” you said softly, lightly bumping your shoulder against his.

His eyes seemed to light up at your words, and your smile couldn’t help but get wider at his reaction - that was, until he raised an eyebrow, almost defiantly. “Yeah? I thought you found soccer boring,” he said with a playful smirk.

“It’s not boring if you’re the one playing,” you replied. A small noise of surprise escaped his throat before he could help it, not expecting you to be so forward, and you both burst into giggles. 

He cleared his throat when you both calmed down and stood up straighter, trying to put on a cool front. “Of course it isn’t.” He turned his head to look out the window, and the sight of the sunlight perfectly hitting his features and turning his dark brown eyes a hazel color almost took your breath away. “It’s really nice out,” he suddenly said. He turned back to you, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “How about we ditch the tutoring for today and go out?”

His eyes drifted down to your lips, watching as a smile tugged at the corners of your own. “I’m in.”

That was how you found yourselves sitting at a bench in the park close to your house, eating ice cream and watching Kiwi and Layla play together. You tried each other’s ice cream, and you regretted your choice of simple vanilla and strawberry as soon as Jake’s mango ice cream touched your tongue. Your eyes widened at the amazing taste - it felt like you had bit into an actual mango. 

“Good, right?” Jake asked, chuckling at your reaction.

“What the heck, yours is so much better than mine,” you mumbled, pouting at the ice cream in your cup like it had personally hurt you.

Jake thought for a second, looking back and forth between your upset expression and his own cup. “Wanna switch?”

Your heart was screaming yes, but your brain was screaming no. You tried your best to appear genuine when you smiled at him. “No, don’t worry about it. I still like mine.” You looked at him as you scooped another spoonful into your mouth as if to prove to him you were happy with your choice, even going so far as to hum in delight.

Jake just chuckled and shook his head at you, taking your cup and giving you his anyway. You were about to protest until he started eating your ice cream, imitating your previous hum. You quietly accepted the exchange, smiling as you tasted the mango ice cream again and trying to ignore the fact that Jake hadn’t switched the spoons with the cups, so you were using his and he was using yours. 

As you ate in silence, occasionally chuckling at your dogs’ antics, Jake stole some glances at you. He wasn’t sure why you looked so much prettier today than all the times he’d seen you before. Or maybe you were just as pretty as you’d always been, and he was just finally letting himself admit it. 

He may have had many friends, but there weren’t many people Jake was truly himself around. He always felt the need to be this friendly, outgoing guy that made it seem like everything was going well in his life, but with you, he felt like it was okay to stop pretending. He felt like it was okay to ask for help, like it was okay to reveal the darker parts of his life.

Now that Jay and Sunghoon had practically forced him to see the truth, Jake didn’t know what to do about his feelings for you. He finally understood why he always looked forward to your tutoring sessions, why he was so excited whenever he walked past you in the hallways, and why he was so bothered about you and Sunghoon getting along.

Sunghoon. Because even if Jake now knew that he liked you, he also knew that you liked someone else. And what was the point of letting himself fall for you even more when there was no happy ending in sight for him? He’d only get hurt in the end.

Just as the thought hit him, you turned to look at him and meet his gaze, a soft smile on your lips. Every time you smiled at him like that, Jake felt like he was watching a movie. Everything happened in slow-motion, with flowers falling around you and violins playing in the background. Jake almost felt sick, knowing he was only the second lead in your romance movie. He was the stupid werewolf and Sunghoon was the vampire that glistened in the sun and got the girl. (You had convinced him to watch Twilight, saying it was a mandatory watch to understand who you were as a person. Of course, Jake had streamed it that same night. The soundtrack was surprisingly good.)

Your voice snapped him out of his downward-spiraling thoughts. “You know, I almost got scared that Sunghoon would appear out of thin air and start hanging out with us.”

Jake tried not to sneer at the mention of his best-friend-turned-number-one-nemesis. “Why? Wouldn’t you like that?” he mumbled, clearly doing a poor job of seeming unaffected.

You frowned, then lowered your head, focusing your gaze on your almost-finished ice cream. “No, I’d rather if it was just the two of us.” Jake’s eyes widened, unsure if he’d heard that correctly or not. But before he could say anything in response, you spoke again. “It’s just, he was there when I came to watch your practice and when I thought we were all going to see a movie together, it was just him and me. You would’ve liked that movie, by the way,” you said, looking up at Jake with a smile.

Jake’s heart swelled. He wasn’t sure what what you were saying all meant, but unconsciously, his lips mirrored yours and he smiled back at you. Until he remembered you didn’t like him, and his smile fell immediately. Obviously, you had no idea what he was thinking, so his sudden stony expression sent alarms ringing through your head.

“It’s not that I don’t like him, or anything,” you said, panicked, and Jake had to keep himself from scoffing, “it’s just that- you know. It’s nice to hang out with you outside of tutoring sessions,” you finished, mumbling. 

Jake had no idea what you were saying, so he stayed quiet, watching as Kiwi and Layla ran around in circles. You liked Sunghoon, so why would you rather hang out with Jake and not him? You weren’t making any sense. 

You, on the other hand, were not liking Jake’s uncharacteristic silence. In hopes of getting his attention, you crossed one leg over the other, shifting on the bench to face him. “Plus, don’t you think he and Chaewon really hit it off the other night? I think that was the most I’ve ever heard him talk,” you said, trying to lighten the atmosphere. To your dismay, it didn’t work. You didn’t know whether he was sulking or genuinely upset - all you knew was you desperately wanted to see a smile on his pretty face again.

“Jakey?” you called out, and your voice sounded so small it hurt his heart. He hummed in response, only glancing at you for a fraction of a second. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” he replied, scooping the last of the ice cream in his mouth. As he tasted the strawberry and vanilla flavors, he couldn’t believe he had given his precious mango ice cream up all for a girl who didn’t even like him back. What a fool.

“I don’t know, you’re all- weird, all of a sudden, for lack of a better word.” You searched for some sort of an answer in his eyes, but he supplied you with none. 

Jake sighed deeply. He could feel the ugly mix of emotions in his belly turning into anger - anger at what exactly, he wasn’t sure, but he didn’t want to lay it on you. “It’s just the heat, it’s making me tired,” he said. Sure, it was warm for a May afternoon, but it wasn’t that hot. But you didn’t want to push it.

“Should we go home?“ you offered, and the worry in your voice made him feel even worse. He just couldn’t understand why you were being so nice to him. He knew you probably just thought you were looking after a friend, but he'd rather you not care about his well-being and leave him be. He didn’t need one more reason to like you - he already had plenty of those. 

He nodded, mustering as convincing a smile as he could. “Sure.” 

The walk home was much quieter than usual. You could feel that Jake was keeping something to himself, and it was killing you; but whatever it was, you wanted him to tell you when he felt ready and not feel forced to. Your hand was aching, desperate to reach out and grab his as you had done before, but you were afraid that would only push him away even further. So you stayed silent most of the time, only commenting on the things around you or speaking a thought out loud when you thought it might make Jake smile. Every time his lips curled up, even ever so slightly, your heart swelled with relief.

Unbeknownst to you, Jake was making up his mind. He knew he needed time away from you to gather his feelings before he could see you as a friend again. 

When you reached your house, Jake waited outside with the dogs as you grabbed his bag he’d left upstairs. You hugged goodbye as always, but this one was different - it lasted a few seconds longer than usual, and you could swear Jake held you tighter than he normally would. It felt like he was saying goodbye for more than just a couple days.

You didn’t understand why it made your heart ache so much.

—

The next day, when you walked past Jake and Sunghoon in the hallway, Jake barely glanced at you and only tilted his head in your general direction instead of his usual wide grin and wave. You were so shocked by his sudden snubbing that you halted in your steps right away, looking behind you at his retreating figure. You locked eyes with Sunghoon, who seemed just as confused as you felt. He shrugged at you before returning to his friend and nudging his arm.

On Wednesday morning, you got a text from Jake that he couldn’t make it to your tutoring session that afternoon because of an extra soccer practice to prepare for their game that weekend, something he had never mentioned before.

Thursday and Friday weren’t very different, and your heart became heavier with every time you walked past each other and he acted like you weren’t even there. You desperately wanted to know what you’d done wrong, why he’d started to reply in one-word sentences instead of his usual voice messages and tons of emojis, but no matter how much you cogitated, you couldn’t figure it out. Even when you asked him how his game had gone, a dry Good stared back at you from your phone screen.

That Saturday, your girlfriends came over. Yena had brought beads and strings to make accessories out of, and the mere sight of them had brought fond memories back to all four of you - during your first sleepover in freshman year, this was the exact activity that had kept you occupied for hours. 

You got started on them immediately, each finding a comfortable spot in your room as soft music played in the background. You lay on your bed while Chaewon and Yena took over the floor and Hyewon sat at your desk.

“I’m gonna make one of those phone accessories,” Yena said excitedly, reaching for the biggest, most colorful beads.

“I’m gonna make couple bracelets for Jaemin and I,” Hyewon said somewhat shyly but beaming. Yena and Chaewon groaned at her words, but they gave you an idea.

“You guys are vomit-inducing,” Yena replied, and if you didn’t know your friend any better, just going off the tone of her voice, you’d have thought she was being serious. Hyewon just rolled her eyes, used to this daily slander she received simply for being in a relationship.

“I’ll make something for my little sister,” Chaewon butted in, and you and Yena simultaneously ‘aww’ed. 

“So it’s aww when Chaewon does it for her sister, and it’s vomit-inducing when I do it for my boyfriend?” Hyewon exclaimed, appalled.

“Little sisters are cute. Boyfriends are gross,” Yena replied matter-of-factly, making you giggle.

“Whatever. You guys are just jealous that you’re dying alone and I’m not. What are you making, Y/N?” she asked before Yena could retort again. The two exchanged a glare as you thought over your answer.

“I’m not saying,” you replied with a giggle. 

“She’s making one for Jake, that evil wench,” Chaewon immediately said, making your eyes widen. Yena gasped dramatically while Hyewon smiled at you.

“How did you know?” you asked Chaewon.

“Just your face. You’re so obvious,” she snickered. 

“You’re a traitor, Y/N!” Yena exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at you, and you hid your face in your hands, muttering an apology. “Wasting time and energy on a boy.”

“Don’t listen to her, Y/N. Whatever it is you make, he’ll be super happy you thought of him. Then he’ll finally ask you out and you’ll live happily ever after, just like me and Jaemin,” Hyewon said with a serene smile on her face. Chaewon and Yena exchanged a look, then faked a gagging sound. “So bitter,” Hyewon muttered, shaking her head at your friends.

“I’m not sure about that,” you sighed. “I just want to be friends again. He’s been ignoring me all week.”

All three snapped their heads up at you. “He’s been ignoring you?” Yena echoed, and you meekly nodded. “Give me his phone number. No, give me his address. I’m going there right now,” she said, already sitting up.

“Gosh, Yena, it’s fine,” you said, gesturing at her to sit back down, laughing at your friend’s seriousness. “I’ll see him on Monday anyway, I can just see how he behaves then.”

Yena didn’t look convinced, but she yielded anyway. “If he hurts you, I swear I’ll give him a stern talking to. And a broken nose.” You laughed as you thanked your friend. 

Hyewon asked for more details about this Jake situation, so you filled your friends in about his mysterious behavior that week. Chaewon had been the only one to see it firsthand, when you’d walked to a class together and Jake had walked past you without saying anything. You told them about his sparse answers to your texts, his lack of response to the TikToks you sent him. He wasn’t even reacting to your BeReals anymore. It was just such a complete switch-up in attitude that you had no idea what to make of it. They tried to come up with reasons for it, but it really didn’t make much sense. It just felt like he suddenly decided to hate you - or maybe you had been interpreting everything wrong, and the two of you had never been friends in the first place. 

“This is so confusing,” Chaewon suddenly said, seeming lost in thought. “I thought for sure that he liked you.”

“Liked… me?” you echoed.

“Yeah. Just the way he was when we were at the diner. He kept looking at you and was always smiling and blushing whenever you talked to him. Also the way Jay and Sunghoon were behaving. Boys are so obvious when their friend likes someone, it’s like they’re trying to fumble it for him. And I mean, anyone with functioning eyes can see that you like him too, so I don’t know why he’s doing this all of a sudden.”

Yena sighed. “Boys are stupid.”

“That, they are,” you agreed, sighing as well and returning your attention to your craft. Maybe a simple gift like this wouldn’t fix what was going on between you and Jake, but you had to at least try. You couldn’t let go of your friendship so easily.

Even though it seemed as though he could.

Nothing changed the next week. On Monday, you woke up to a text that pulled your heart down into your stomach.

jakey-poo i think we should stop tutoring each other for now

For an hour as you ate breakfast and got ready for school, you ruminated over your answer, only to ask him a simple why? in the end.

jakey-poo i’m to busy w soccer practice and other stuff we can start again when exams are near

you oh okay

You felt pathetic, but you had no idea what to say. You couldn’t force him into this, and you definitely couldn’t show up at his house and demand a better explanation. If you were Yena or Chaewon, maybe you could - but you weren’t. You couldn’t even bring yourself to ask him if the two of you could still hang out outside of that, so scared you were for his inevitable rejection.

During the week, you tried to find a time when you could give him your small handmade gift, but Jake wasn’t even looking you in the eyes anymore. The only time you made eye contact with him over those five days was on Wednesday at lunch - as you walked into the cafeteria, you scanned the whole room, unconsciously searching for him. When you did, he was already looking at you - he was close enough for you to see the slight frown in his eyebrows, the lack of the usual glint in his eyes. But as soon as he’d seen you’d found him, he turned away. You only looked away when Chaewon called out your name.

In the few classes you had together, he always slipped away before you could get to him. Him walking past you like he couldn’t even see you broke your heart a little bit more every time, and by Friday, you had completely given up. Your friendship with Jake was over, and you had no idea why, no idea who or what to blame.

Monday and Wednesday afternoons felt empty now that you had gotten used to spending them with him, and you couldn’t even walk Kiwi without missing him. He seemed to miss Jake and Layla too - he’d sometimes tilt his head at you as if asking where your new friends were, and when you got to the park, he’d gloomily stick to you instead of running around like he usually would, especially when Layla was there.

The worst part was at night, when your thoughts kept you up. You’d reread your and Jake’s text conversations, wondering what went so wrong so quickly, warm tears spilling from your eyes out of sadness and tiredness. On those nights, you’d sneak Kiwi up to your room and let him cuddle up to you in your bed. You’d comfort each other that way.

You had no idea that a couple kilometers away, Jake lay in bed sleepless as well, Layla at the edge of his bed and whining in her sleep. You had no idea that missing you had carved a deep hole in his chest.

—

Enough was enough.

It had been days since Layla had last seen Kiwi, and to a young pup like her, that felt like eternity. Lately, Jake hadn’t seemed happy to go on walks with her like he used to, and he barely had any energy to play with her. She also hadn’t seen you in days, and she wondered if that had anything to do with Jake’s recent despondency. 

But thankfully, Layla was a smart girl, so she knew exactly what to do to fix this dire situation. On Friday, she waited for Jake to come back from soccer practice and take her on a walk. As soon as they reached the sidewalk outside of their house, she pulled on her leash in the opposite direction of their usual route. Jake tried pulling her the other way, but she wouldn’t budge.

“We’re going that way, Layla,” Jake said, amused by his dog’s sudden stubbornness. Layla barked back. “Come on!” 

She was really not moving. “We never go that way,” Jake said, sighing. “That way’s the-”

That’s when he realized. Layla wanted to go to the park you went to with Kiwi. “But what if we ran into them?” Jake asked. 

Layla barked again. She wanted to say, That’s exactly why I want to go there, but of course Jake didn’t understand. He sighed again and obliged, letting Layla lead the way. She had a good feeling that she’d finally see her friends again today. 

Jake’s heart started beating faster with every step he took, knowing that you might be out right now, too. When he’d seen you at school, you’d seemed as sad as he was, and he felt terrible for perhaps being the reason behind it - but he didn’t know what else to do. He could either spare your feelings or his. If this was hurting you, he knew you’d move on quickly enough anyway - and when he came to terms with being just friends with you, he’d come back, and everything would be perfect like it used to be. Foolproof plan.

If there was one thing Jake had learned from the tutoring sessions with you, it was that the weather always reflected the protagonist’s inner thoughts. If they were upset, it would be gray and rainy - if they were happy, it would be warm and sunny. Jake glared at the sun, just another reminder that he wasn’t the main character in this story. If he was, it would be thundering and lightning would be striking.

As if his life was a joke, two minutes after Jake and Layla had walked into the park, he saw you. At least you were facing the other direction, so you couldn’t see him, and he could redirect his route to avoid you. But he let himself indulge in the moment for a few seconds. You had laid out a picnic blanket for you and Kiwi and rested on your stomach with your elbows propping you up, reading a book. Kiwi slept peacefully next to you - this dog was the furthest thing from a guard dog Jake had ever seen. You kicked your feet up in the air, flip flops discarded to the side of the blanket. Jake was happy to see you like this, enjoying the warmth of this sunny May afternoon. 

He was about to walk away, but a sudden movement caught his eye. Two school kids started running to you, and before you could even register their presence, one of them snatched your flip flops and they both sprinted away, shrieking with laughter like two little devils. Where the hell were their parents?!

Without thinking, Jake started running after them, and so did Kiwi and Layla. 

“Hey! Come back here!” Jake yelled, hoping in vain that these kids would listen to someone older than them. Kiwi did his best, but his tiny legs didn’t allow for such a chase - Layla, barking loudly at the thieves, was the first to reach them, and she managed to scare them so much, they tripped over their feet. But unlike them, she was well-behaved, so she sat once her job was done and waited for Jake to arrive. 

“What are you two doing? You can’t just steal other people’s things!” he admonished, holding onto his knees as he tried to catch his breath.

Both kids were already teary-eyed. “We just wanted to play a prank, we’re sorry!” one of them quickly said, voice shaky.

“It’s not to me you should apologize, but to her,” Jake said, turning around to point in your direction. That’s when he noticed you sitting on your knees, hands covering your face as your shoulders trembled. “You made her cry!” Jake exclaimed, tone much angrier than seconds prior. “Let’s go,” he said, grabbing the kids by their shoulders and forcing them to keep up with his quick steps.

You didn’t notice their presence in front of you until Jake prompted them. At the sound of the all too familiar voice, you whipped your head up. Jake swore he heard his heart breaking when he saw your red eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. You barely heard the kids’ apology, so amazed you were at suddenly seeing Jake.

“We’re sorry for stealing your flip-flops and making you cry,” the first one said.

“Sorry,” repeated the other one, handing you your shoes.

“Oh, right. Thanks, just don’t do it again,” you replied, sniffing as you took back your shoes.

“We won’t!” they replied in unison before running away once more.

Jake stood there awkwardly for a few seconds, unsure what to say. He watched you stare at your flip flops like you’d never seen them before in your life. “You’re not going to thank me for catching those delinquents?” he asked after a small while, chuckling slightly.

This made you look up at him. He gulped as your eyes met. Then, you burst into sobs again, and Jake started panicking. He crouched down to your level, first holding you by the shoulders then forcing your head out of your hands so he could wipe away your tears with the pads of his thumbs.

“No no no, why are you crying, Y/N?” he asked softly, pulling you into a hug.

You continued crying into his shoulder, ignoring Kiwi and Layla’s confused stares. “You- you- I haven’t seen you in ages!” you exclaimed.

Jake sighed. He didn’t understand why you were crying like this for him, all he knew was that he’d never felt so awful. “I’m sorry, Y/N,” he whispered into your hair, pulling your shaking body closer to him. “I’m sorry.”

You leaned back to glare at Jake, your bottom lip jutting out in discontent. “Do you even know how much I missed you?”

Jake held your head in his hands like it was the most precious thing in the world. Mouth agape in surprise, he looked at you with sad eyes. “You… you did?”

Your eyebrows creased. “Of course I did!” Another sob rippled through your body, and Jake took you back in his arms, wrapping them around your shoulders and resting his cheek against your hair. 

“I missed you too.”

“Then why did you do this?” you asked, voice breaking.

“Because I didn’t want to get hurt,” Jake whispered back. “But I didn’t think I’d hurt you. I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

You leaned back again, but this time, you looked confused rather than angry. His eyes were soft as they scanned your face and as he brushed strands of your hair back behind your ears. “Why would you get hurt?” you asked again, bringing your voice to the same volume as his.

Jake sighed and squeezed his eyes shut for a second, as if in pain, before opening them again and boring them into yours. “I like you so, so much Y/N. So much so that I don’t know what to do with myself. But I know that you don’t feel the same way, and I was scared that by staying by your side, I’d just fall in love with you even more and get hurt in the end. So I pushed you away because I didn’t know what else to do, but I’m so sorry I- You’re crying again?”

Your fists grabbed at the front of Jake’s t-shirt as sobs raked through your body once more. It was official - Jake was the stupidest person you’d ever met. And you were in love with him.

“Why are you crying?”

“Because I like you too, you idiot!” you yelled back. Your tears were probably staining his t-shirt, but you couldn’t care less. He liked you. Jake liked you.

You were too busy crying to see Jake’s eyes slowly widening in disbelief. “You what?!”

Gently, Jake pushed your shoulders back so he could look at you. Even with puffy eyes and a runny nose, you were the prettiest girl he’d ever seen. Pretty like an angel that had graced the Earth with her presence. “You what?” he repeated, just to hear you say it again.

“I like you, Jake. I’m so in love with you it's actually pathetic,” you said with a chuckle, looking down out of shyness. But when you looked back up, Jake’s eyes were going back and forth between yours, the expression on his face like he couldn’t believe what he’d just heard but desperately hoped it was true.

As you locked eyes, both of your faces lit up with grins. You burst into laughter together, finding each other’s hands and intertwining your fingers together. Then Jake brought you back into his arms, holding tightly, as if he was scared you might disappear any second. Kiwi and Layla had long walked away to give the two of you some needed privacy.

In each other’s arms, you rocked side to side gently and laughed for no reason other than the incredible fact your feelings were reciprocated. “You stink, you know,” you suddenly said in-between giggles. “You sweat while you ran after those kids.”

“I sweat? You mean I swote, right?” Jake asked a pause.

You leaned back to look at Jake. “Swote?” you echoed, and he nodded. Your umpteenth smile made your cheeks lift. “You have to be kidding-”

“I am,” Jake cut off, mirroring your smile. “I just wanted to make you laugh.”

You gasped and lightly punched his chest before letting your body fall against his again. “You’re so silly,” you said, sighing in bliss at the sound of his giggles.

Then all of a sudden, Jake pulled away and looked at you, almost frightened. “What about Sunghoon?” 

“What about him?” you asked back, confused by Jake’s question.

“I thought you- Didn’t you- you know…”

You tilted your head at Jake, a small grin spreading on your lips again. “I don’t know.”

“I thought you liked him…” Jake mumbled, looking away with a pout.

Before you could stop it, a noise of confusion left your throat. You looked at Jake like he was insane. “I can barely have a conversation with Sunghoon, what made you think I liked him?”

Jake pursed his lips and let a resigned puff of air out of his nose. “I, um- Remember when we mixed our backpacks up?” he asked and you nodded, smiling at the fun memory. “I may have, um, I may have read… your… diary,” he admitted, voice getting quieter with each word. He dared a glance at you - you looked horrified, eyes wide and mouth agape. “And you wrote that you liked Sunghoon,” he finished with a whisper.

It was silent for a few seconds, and Jake was bracing himself for a slap to the face or your screams, until you did the last thing Jake expected you to do - you laughed. You laughed so hard and for so long that he got scared you had gone insane and this was the first part of your mental breakdown before you murdered him in cold blood for having invaded your privacy. He would’ve deserved it, he thought.

“I don’t- oh my God, Jake, I don’t- I don’t like Sunghoon. I never really have, or not in the way you think, I can’t- oh my God,” you explained in between giggles, trying to catch your breath but starting to laugh again every time you managed to compose yourself. Jake tried to laugh along, but he was too confused to do so properly.

“You’re not mad?” Jake asked, eyebrows furrowed with worry.

“No,” you replied, shaking your head and the last giggles out of your throat. “You read it ages ago, and we didn’t even know each other back then, there’s no point in being mad now. It’s just funny - I know exactly why you think I liked Sunghoon, but I didn’t. Not really. And even if I did, those feelings are nothing compared to the ones I have for you now,” you said, beaming. A blush spread on Jake’s cheeks, and you could tell he was trying (and failing) to contain a proud grin.

You explained to Jake the ‘character’ thing you and your friends had going on and that Sunghoon (and hat guy) just happened to be one of them - you watched as Jake narrowed his eyes and slowly nodded, trying to understand this concept that was so foreign to him. 

“You know, it all makes a lot more sense now,” Jake said when you were explaining. “It would’ve been weird for you to like Sunghoon when I was right there.” He smirked down at you as you playfully rolled your eyes. 

“Oh my God!” you suddenly exclaimed, startling Jake in the process. Dramatic as always, he put a hand over his heart and exhaled loudly. “I have something for you. For us, actually.” You reached into your bag and got out the two accessories you’d made for you and Jake. “These are for us to put on our backpacks, so that we don’t confuse them again. They also match.”

Jake’s eyes were fixated on the string of beads as you placed into his palm. “I tried to give it to you over the week, but…” 

A teardrop fell into Jake’s palms, and when you looked at him, you realized he’d started crying. “Jake?” you cooed softly, and he sniffled, wiping away the tears from his eyes.

As a response, he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and buried his face in your hair. “Thank you. And I’m sorry. I promise you’ll never go a second without my undivided attention from now on,” he said, voice shaking with emotion, and you hummed happily.

“I wouldn’t expect anything else.”

He leaned back, and you were relieved to find the familiar puppyish grin on his lips. You gazed into each other’s eyes for a few seconds, and before he could stop himself, he grabbed your head in his hands and pressed a delicate kiss to your forehead. You raised your eyebrows in surprise, but when his face was back in front of yours, your eyes immediately drifted to his lips. They looked soft and plump and pink, and were utterly inviting. Every time you’d started daydreaming about kissing Jake, you’d stopped yourself, not wanting to over-indulge in your fantasies. But was this finally, really happening?

“Y/N?” Jake said quietly. You could swear his face was getting closer.

“Hm?”

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

Your face broke out into a grin. Without warning, you pressed your lips against Jake’s - initially just for a peck, but as soon as you started pulling away, Jake chased after your lips and trapped them into a kiss, a proper one this time. You’d never done this before, so it was naturally somewhat clumsy, but you and Jake were so giddy with excitement that you couldn’t care less. So what if you were smiling so hard, your teeth clashed against his, or you kept bumping noses? You were kissing Jake Sim. 

The second time around, he let you pull away to catch your breath, and you wished you could photograph the sight in front of you - Jake with flushed cheeks, closed eyes and a serene smile on his face. He was so pretty, and now, he was all yours.

When he opens his eyes and finds you looking at him, his smile widens. “I’ll take that as a yes?”

“Yes,” you echoed, laughing. You pressed your lips to his cheek before burying your face in the crook of his neck.

He hugged you to him and the sweet sound of his giggles filled your ears and your heart. “My girl,” he whispered, before leaning his head back, face to the sky, and screaming it loud enough for the whole park to hear. You tried to shush him, but you couldn’t stop laughing yourself out of sheer excitement. Layla and Kiwi came running back to you, barking happily and trying to lick your faces. 

“I cried so much today, my eyes are gonna be puffy tomorrow morning,” you said between giggles. 

Jake pressed his lips to yours in a chaste kiss. “I’ll make sure you never cry again, Y/N,” he said, and he sounded so genuine, you almost wanted to cry again right then and there.

The rest of the afternoon went by in a blur - while you and Jake kissed, laughed, talked, and hugged, hours that felt like minutes passed you by. Jake kept on looking at the accessory you made him, poking fun at you for knowing his favorite color even though he’d never mentioned it.

“It was a lucky guess,” you grumbled. “Your room’s walls are that color,” you said, pointing to a particular dark blue bead.

“I love it,” he replied with a kiss to your forehead.

As always, he walks you home - and this time, you can take his hand without any hesitation. Your mom had come home from work while you and Jake were out, and you found her in the kitchen, prepping some veggies for dinner. 

As soon as Jake introduced himself, a flash of revelation struck her and she shot you a knowing smirk. “So you’re Jake,” she said, and the boy glanced at you with amused confusion. “That one over there has been badgering me about you these past few weeks.”

Apparently, you agreeing to be his girlfriend had already gone to his head, because instead of looking surprised at your mom’s words, he slowly turned to you with an arrogant smirk gracing his lips. “Has she?”

Your mom nodded slowly. “Oh, yes.” Then her expression slowly morphed into something else as she remembered your red, puffy eyes from the other evening when you’d told her about what was going on with Jake. She raised her kitchen knife and pointed it straight to him, eyes narrowed. “If you ever hurt my daughter again, I’m putting you in the lasagna, young man.”

Jake gulped, smirk completely wiped off of his face. You just watched in amusement. “I- I won’t,” he stuttered, eyes fixed on the blade of the knife.

A wide grin reappeared on your mom’s face as she went back to cutting the vegetables. “Good!” 

Jake looked at you for some sort of explanation, but you simply shrugged. He’d just have to get used to your mom’s crazy. 

“You know, you’re just as handsome as she described,” your mom told Jake with a wink.

“Mom, please!” you exclaimed, cheeks burning with heat. You liked it better when she was threatening your boyfriend with a knife, but he was relieved by the new turn this conversation had taken.

“What else has she said?”

“Oh, you know, just your typical he’s so smart, he’s so cute, he’s so funny-”

“Okay, that’s it!” you cut in before your mom could spill more on you. You ignored Jake’s noises of complaint as you grabbed him by the shoulders and led him towards the door. “I think it’s time for you to go home, no?” 

“Y/N, come on!” Jake whined, giggling. 

“Why don’t you stay for dinner, Jake?” your mom offered, making you stop in your tracks. You stared wide-eyed at her but she just looked at Jake, wearing an inviting smile.

“Sure!” Jake beamed. “I just need to call my mom.”

“Oh, invite her along! I always make enough to feed an army, anyway.”

“Really?” Jake asked, incredulous. Since his brother had left for university, it had always been just he and his mom at the dinner table. The thought of sharing a meal with you and your mom filled his heart with warmth. 

“Yeah!”

Jake smiled giddily as he got his phone out. “Thanks, she’ll be stoked.”

Although you both wanted to help your mom, she urged you to stay outside with the dogs and enjoy the last rays of sunshine of the day, insisting she didn’t need any help. So you and Jake spent some time throwing sticks for Kiwi and Layla and giggling at their cuteness. Kiwi quickly got exhausted and came to lie down at your feet, but Layla was tireless. “Your dog, your responsibility,” you said as you sat down next to Kiwi, rubbing his tummy and watching Jake throw the stick over and over again for Layla.

Jake was as relentless as Layla, and every time she ran after the stick, he ran to you and pressed a kiss to another part of your face, making you giggle every time. Once on your forehead, once on your nose, once on your cheek, then the other, and once on your lips.

Then his mom rang the bell, and as your mom opened the door for her, the oddest thing happened - they called out each other’s name and hugged as if they were old friends. You and Jake exchanged a confused look before turning your attention back to them.

“What a coincidence!”

“Right! Such a small world, I can’t believe you’re my daughter’s boyfriend’s mom.”

“Boyfriend? Gosh, has he finally asked her out? I was going crazy seeing him moping around in his room!”

“Mom!” Jake yelled, face already reddening as you burst into laughter.

You joined them inside the house and set the table while your mom finished up dinner. Jake’s mom had brought a bottle of red wine as a gift, so she poured two glasses for her and your mom, but you and Jake stuck to Sprite. 

Apparently, they knew each other from some yoga class they both went to every Sunday - you found out this was the woman your mom often went out for lunch or drinks with. They were so excited to meet each other like this that they talked most of the time, leaving you and Jake to eat your food quietly and giggling every time you made eye contact or your feet touched under the table. 

Just as you were about to take your last bite of lasagna, your phone pinged with a message. Curiously, so did Jake’s. Chaewon had sent a message into the group chat, asking to meet her at work when her shift was done because she was craving an Oreo milkshake.

chae bae y/n u better come ik ur not doing anything better tonight anyway

You scoffed. You were doing something better.

“Shit, today’s Friday! The boys are waiting for me at the diner, I completely forgot,” Jake exclaimed as he read the messages on his phone.

“Language, Jake,” his mom scolded.

“At the diner?” you repeated.

“Yeah, that one we went to last time. Why?” Jake asked when he noticed your surprised expression.

“That’s where Chaewon wants to meet.”

You both turned to your respective moms, silently asking for permission to leave the dinner table.

“Just go,” your mother said with a smile.

“I’ll take Layla home later,” Jake’s mom added.

You thanked them before rushing to get a bag and heading to the bus stop, hoping a bus would come by soon. Twenty minutes later, you were opening the doors of the diner and looking around for your friends, who were nowhere to be found. You were fishing your phone out of your pocket to call Chaewon when a familiar voice caught your and Jake’s attention.

“What are they doing together?” you heard Jay say, followed by loud shushes. You turned your head to find all five of your friends (plus Jaemin) crammed in a booth in the corner that was somewhat hidden from the rest of the restaurant. But they were trying so hard to be discreet that it made their presence even more obvious - they hid their faces with their hands as if that would make them disappear from your view. You and Jake shared a look before chuckling, shaking your head at your friends.

“Whatever, they’ve clearly found us,” Jay sighed and exited the booth, walking towards the two of you.

“Were you guys trying to get us to make up or something?” Jake asked with an amused smile.

“Yeah, we grouped up and planned this whole thing. It was a real team effort.”

“It might’ve worked better if you hadn’t all stayed here, you guys were so obvious,” you chided.

“Tell that to your friends over there! They insisted on watching it unfold,” Jay grumbled, and you looked behind him to see your friends frantically waving at you.

You switched to a bigger booth that could accommodate all seven of you, and as soon as you’d placed your orders, Yena practically pounced on you, demanding an explanation as to how the two of you were already made up.

You turned to look at Jake and smiled at him before answering. “It’s all thanks to Kiwi, really,” you told Yena.

“Kiwi? As in your dog Kiwi?” Chaewon asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“Mh-hm.” In your peripheral, you noticed Jake tilting his head at you.

“You mean Layla, right?”

You imitated his head movement. “No, I mean Kiwi.”

“But Layla made me go to the park today. I wouldn’t have gone there if it wasn’t for her,” Jake insisted, giving you an are you being serious look that you mirrored.

“I wasn’t going to go outside at all but Kiwi kept bugging me to take him on a walk, that’s why I was in the park in the first place. It’s thanks to Kiwi,” you repeated.

“It’s thanks to Layla,” Jake retorted, playfully narrowing his eyes at you.

“Trouble in paradise,” Jaemin whispered, and Hyewon slapped his arm.

The whole table was silent as you and Jake stared each other down, waiting to see who would cave first. It was like everyone could breathe again when Jake’s face broke out into a grin and he rested his arm behind your shoulders. “Okay, it’s thanks to Kiwi,” he conceded, making you hum in satisfaction. You rested your head on his shoulder and ignored Yena’s groan of disgust at the PDA.

But Jake, as always, wasn’t letting you off the hook so easily. “And Layla.”

—

02.06.202X - 12:18

rodrigo hater y/n i can see you being gross from across the courtyard can u guys not feed each other ur still on school grounds and ur ruining my day have some decency

sweet hyewon you guys are super cute <3  jaemin and i only have the same lunch period once a week i miss him

rodrigo hater ugh wheres chaewon she’d have my back

you hyewon love u yena frigg off you’re not going to like this… i think she’s with sunghoon rodrigo hater WHAT

sweet hyewon omg hahahaha saw it coming cuuuuute

rodrigo hater i hate you all so much you’re all kicked out of my celibacy club

chae bae we weren’t part of it in the first place

rodrigo hater GO AWAY YOU TRAITOR

03.06.202X - 09:15

you jake wake up  wake up wake up please

jake ??? R U okay?

you kiwi keeps whining i think he wants to see layla come over?

jake . did u just wake me up before 10 am on a sunday morning for this

you i made pancakes?

jake i’m going back to sleep

you but i miss you :(

jake running

07.06.202X - 16:39

stink #1 hey

jake no

stink #1 wtf man

jake im busy

stink #1 smooching ur girl?

jake yeah stay mad bro

stink #1 where’s hoon

stink #2 he’s at ice skating practice with me <3 this is chaewon btw

jake AYO????

stink #1 HE GAVE YOU ACCESS TO HIS PHONE???

stink #2 hehehe bye losers

stink #1 oh my god jake this is huge

jake right… our little boy he’s grown so much

stink #1 i’m getting teary eyed anyway i wanted to say i think we should invite the girls to bro night more often it’s always fun with them

jake oh? if u wanna see yena just say so bro

stink #1 fuck u man

jake ur literally so obvious you get 100% more obnoxious when she’s around

stink #1 idc she laughs at my jokes

jake which is proof that there’s something wrong w her anyway i’ll ask my girl about it

stink #1 ew and thx ^^

09.06.202X - 17:03

jakey-poo y/nnnnnn y/n hellloooooo y/n y/n y/n baby :(((( where are u what r u doing i miss you hello y/n my baby darling angel pls answer me layla misses you

you jake sim

jakey-poo HIIIIII

you jay is a genius i’m anime pomodoroing the hell out of this essay it’s working so well i’m almost done with it already

jakey-poo don’t compliment another man ever again i’m going to cry

you but jay’s your friend

jakey-poo i’ll kill him if i have to

you gosh okay jay’s an idiot

jakey-poo hahaha he is ice cream after dinner ???

you duh

31.07.202X - 21:03

jakey-poo i’m waiting for you outside the theater baby we have a lot of talking to do. i can’t believe you kissed someone else in front of me

you jake baby it was just acting <3 you know you’re the only one i really kiss

jakey-poo i know i am so come here and kiss me quick you did so well and you were so pretty on stage and i love you so much  COME QUICK I WANNA KISS YOU

you i’m hurrying i promise but a lot of people are trying to talk to me :(

jakey-poo ofc they are you killed it my baby’s already famous <3

you hehe love you my jakey-poo

jakey-poo STOP IT WITH THAT

permanent taglist: @zreamy @sunghoonmybeloved @lalalalawon @sd211 @w3bqrl @raikea10 @wntrnghts @moonlighthoon @4imhry @rikisly @loves0ft @iamliacamila @theboingsuckerasseater9000 @chaechae-23 (ask to be removed/added!)

© asahicore on Tumblr, 2023. please do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works. feedback and reblogs always appreciated!

#@ : uc #enhypen x reader #jake sim x reader #enhypen fluff #jake sim fluff #jake x reader #jake fluff #enhypen scenarios #jake sim scenarios #enhypen imagines #jake sim imagines #enhypen angst #jake sim angst

[ghostface-knight]

After years of seeing "I'm very disappointed" on report cards, and hearing "Thank God your dad can just buy your way into college" from classmates, Stephanie Lauter had accepted that she was not smart.

It wasn't that she didn't like to learn -- when she was young, she loved school. Her favorite class of science. She loved learning about the world around her, and how it worked.

Miss Tessburger would pick her up after school in her dad's black Porsche, and Steph would immediately start explaining the things she had picked up from class that day.

"Did you know that insects make up half the world's known species?" She'd recite.

And each time, she'd be met with something along of the lines of, "Stephanie, your father is very busy today, so don't bother him with this nonsense."

She thought it was the fact itself. Maybe Miss Tessburger just didn't like insects! Steph knew her father was a very busy man, and so it made sense that she shouldn't bother him unless the fact was really worth it. So she'd try history facts. She'd tell Miss Tessburger about weather phenomena. She'd explain mathematical equations which, although not groundbreaking for an adult, were quite impressive for a child of eight years old. Each time, she watched for the hint that this time, it was worth telling her dad. And each time, she recieved the same, disinterested responses.

So, eventually, she came to the conclusion that the things she was learning in school where not important. Her father was very successful, and he didn't want to hear the things she was learning, so who was to say she needed to know them?

And so she stopped telling Miss Tessburger facts on the way home from school. She stopped reading for fun. She stopped paying attention in class.

That was when her grades started getting worse, but the school didn't notify her father unless she failed a class, and he couldn't be bothered to check each time Steph brought home a report card.

In a way, it was easier to slack off. She didn't have to consider the complex concepts she used to seek out. Pretty soon, she forgot the rush of exhilaration she used to get from learning. Pretty soon, it was like she had never cared in the first place.

So no, Stephanie Lauter was not smart.

And yet, when Peter Spankoffski tutored her, he treated her like she was Albert Fucking Einstein.

"So, the domain of f(x) cannot be zero." She worked out, scribbling on her loose leaf. She looked up at Pete, expecting him to correct her. Instead, he broke into a goody grin.

"You got it Steph! Composite functions have nothing on you." He looked over her work with admiration. "I'm not sure you even need me anymore. You know all this stuff."

Steph smirked. "Maybe, but I think I'll keep you around."

She turned back to her paper, but could clearly see Pete turning bright red out of the corner of her eye.

"Ah, see, I do need you. Because I have no idea what the hell this one is asking me to do." She pointed to an equation.

Pete leaned over, and read the equation out loud. "Find the inverse of f(x) = (x/2) + 7. Oh, this one's easy." He said, grabbing a pencil and starting to write.

"Easy for you to say." Steph mumbled. "You're in the hardest math class this shit-hole offers."

Pete looked up at her. "Not true! I'm in AP Calculus, and they offer Linear Algebra." He sighed, noting Steph's unamused expression. "Look, I only said that cause I know you know this."

"I don't though!" She groaned in exasperation.

"Yes you do! How do you find the inverse of a function?"

"I don't know!" She exclaimed.

"Steph, look at me." Reluctantly, Steph obliged.

Pete took her hand, and looked into her eyes with his own deep brown ones. She softened.

"Take a breath. You know how to do this, I promise. How do you find the inverse of a function?"

Steph took a breath and closed her eyes. "You- you switch x and y, then solve for x."

Pete's smile was the only confirmation she needed. "I told you that you don't need me." He said softly as she got to work solving the equation.

Steph considered it. "Either way, can you stay?"

And the doe eyes strike again. "Of course, Steph." He paused. "I'll always stay."

#npmd #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #nerdy prudes must die #starkid #steph lauter #stephanie lauter #peter spankoffski #pete spankoffski #lautski #do you see my vision? #first time writing fanfic im kinda nervous

[billskeis]

RAHH could you make a tom kaulitz fluff like how the female reader is younger 2 years so like hes 17 while shes 15 and he helps her with her homework 😅 they ARE together btw :)

2006 tom :)

ᡣ𐭩 tom helping his gf w math

“i’m back!” you turn to look around at tom who enters his bedroom with drinks and snacks. you were currently staying over at his place so he can help you tutor. “hi tom…” you sigh heavily as you stare at the paper beneath you, many questions, but it remained blank.

maths wasn’t your best subject, but phew! could the tom kaulitz do his algebra.

“still struggling?” he sits down on his seat next to you as he leans on the desk with his head resting arms that fold on top of it. “thank you, and yea.. i just—it doesn’t make any sense to me!”

“hey hey, no need to get frustrated,” as you slam softly on the table, somewhat shaking the coca colas in the iced glass cups. “just break it down, okay..? can you do that for me? the way i taught you.”

despite his deviance as a junior, tom does quite well on his academics. which maybe, is why he chooses to prioritize fun over school. he never really required the effort in doing well because he was just naturally born with it.

you on the hand, not so much.

and it wasn’t like this for every subject, luckily. it was just math. whatever you did and no matter the amount of effort you put into it, always ended with you failing. it’s getting tiring and overwhelming at this point.

which is why your math teacher had assigned you tom as a study buddy, a tutor. none of you really fought against this, that being that you were together.

“now y/n, i don’t know if you know mr. kaulitz but he is quite the troublemaker.. don’t want you in the wrong crowd now eh?” your math teacher asked you sternly, to which you could only nod to.

little did he know that this little troublemaker was your boyfriend.

“okay y/n, so just take it from the top.. you do this.. and then,” as tom continued to explain the strategies in solving the equations, all you could do was stare at him.

the way his lips move as he addresses the concepts, how he writes his letters and numbers, the eye contact? you swear you couldn’t focus.

“tom, i can’t do it…” you bring your head down. it upset you. he was going out of his way to help you, even though it was a punishment from the math teacher despite being his best student, you felt as you were being ungrateful and totally useless.

“schatzi, it just takes time.. i don’t expect you to automatically be good at math just from this one night.. we’re just getting started!”

and although he makes the effort to comfort you, it wasn’t helping much. you just lacked the motivation.

shifting, he leans his body toward you, leaning his head down to face yours. his eyes fluttered beneath his lashes. he puts your hands in his as he caresses them softly.

“how about this, you do a question, i’ll give you a reward,” your head perks up in curiosity, “a reward..?” “mmhm! just a small one though, for each question. how about that schatzi?” you contemplated, but anything from tom would be good! so you agreed.

finishing the equation, you place the pencil down to revise your work to ensure that everything was correct. you turn in the office chair a bit to face tom who was already paying attention to you. “all done?” “yep!”

tom’s eyes scan the paper, blinking. you bite your lips in nervousness worrying about if the hard work you’ve done was all for nothing and it ended up being wrong or incorrect, worse, none of it made sense to the point where tom couldn’t even see where you went wrong.

“good job baby!” tom places a kiss on your cheek that leaves you stunned, all you could do was look at him, eyes and mouth wide open, “your reward of course..” “do it again,” “what?” “tommmm, please?” he just giggles and pushes you away softly when you want to kiss him again.

it made you feel all bubbly and fuzzy again, you don’t know what it was.

was it tom’s scent that wafted your way for just a second that made it so addicting for you to get a sense of him close again? was it how soft and gentle his lips were on your cheek that tickled you slightly?

or was it just, tom?

“no baby! finish another question and you can get another one,” ruffling the top of your head to mess up your hair. pouting, you look down. a part of tom feels bad, so he just leans closer to you. little did he know this was all apart of your plan to place a quick peck on his lips once he was caught off guard.

he backed away so quick, face a beet red. he wasn’t the only one who was able to fluster you, “you little..!” “can’t blame me, you wouldn’t give me what i wanted!” “now you’re in for it..” tom tackles you to tickle you onto the ground.

laughter and giggles filled the room, you and tom play fought for some of the night. eventually, the two of you got tired and worked up an appetite, leaving the bedroom completely empty to go eat.

the homework was completely forgotten, but that can wait.

(you guys never got the homework done and both were scolded by the math teacher)

#tokio hotel #tokio hotel x you #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel x y/n #tokio hotel fluff #tom kaulitz #tom kaulitz x y/n #tom kaulitz x you #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz fluff #2000s #fyp

[oneirophobic]

MESMERIZED - m. sturniolo ( ★ )

part of the 'summer fun' series

summary : you think water is such a beautiful thing, you know what matt thinks is a beautiful thing?

warnings : [ IMPLIED FEM!READER ] anxiety, mentions of depression, coping mechanisms, water, strong mother-daughter relationship, mentions of feet, reader wears a bikini, horrible dad joke, cat calling, no use of y/n, not proofread well

a/n : thanks for two hundred followers! (you guys got pranked so hard lol) sorry for not posting fics, i've been busy. this fic also has significance to me, i struggle with my mental health and use water to cope. if you're struggling yourself, do not be afraid to reach out to me, my dms are always open.

ever since i was a baby, i was fond of the water, a water baby my mom would say. she'd sit me in between her legs in the shallow end of a lake we camped alongside. the water brushing against my small, fragile hips; releasing sweet giggles from me as i splashed the water onto her inked thighs. i'd fall asleep there in between her legs, eventually being dazed by the tiny fish that swam nibbling at her feet and the way her tattoos distorted under the ripples.

even when we were away from the lake, i'd refuse to get out of the tub until the tiny pads of my fingers looked like the raisins i had as a snack earlier. crying and pleading for her to let me stay in there although i hadn't been able to form a singular word properly. she'd give in and sit with me outside the bathtub with her steamy romance novels in hand, looking up between paragraphs at the smile on my face as i splashed around with an assortment of rubber ducks.

as i grew older, my mom would let me swim at the end of the dock with her by my side, my tiny torso just above the rippling water. i'd dunk myself into the water, watching the minnows nibble at my tiny feet through the lenses of my goggles. giggling as i stuck my head back up, facing my mom with sparks in my eyes, "it tickles, mommy!"

by the time i was in middle school, i had unfortunately developed anxiety. i'd skip school because i grew so physically sick, staying in bed all day, crying uncontrollably. my mom had to stop by the school on those days on her way home from work, giving me a saddened look as she handed me the papers. i'd do them in a blur, my eyes swollen and stinging from my tears.

on one of those days, i had to take a shower, my hair was a greasy knotted mess. my mom helped me detangle it, being gentle as she worked her way to the top of my head. i hesitated before stripping off my three day old clothes, not daring to look at my bare reflection.

i slid into the lukewarm water, standing there for a minute. i felt all the stress being rinsed from my body. i lowered myself to the shower floor and sat there until the water ran cold. i began showering every day, before and after school. the way it felt against my skin made me feel comforted within seconds.

years later, i still use that coping mechanism. i began to learn to control my anxiety, thanks to matt. matt and i got close near the end of junior year, we sat next to each other in math class; always helping each other.

this one specific day, i had been cat called by a group of boys and was absolutely terrified that it was going to happen again. i began overthinking: "are my jeans too tight? can you see my bra through my shirt? am i wearing too much makeup?"

the algebraic equations being written on the board quickly became irrelevant, my breathing was picking up and my throat was closing. matt noticed the increase in my breathing pattern, quickly turning to me as he saw the tears brimming in my eyes. he quickly grabbed ahold of my hand and began rubbing soothing circles along the back of my hand. i squeezed his hand out of fear, shaking slightly.

he leaned in close to me and whispered in my ear, "i'm right here with you, copy my breathing." i turned to look at him, unsure of what was going on. "trust me," he mouthed, looking at my tear filled eyes. i nodded beginning to copy his breathing as we both faced the teacher as if we were paying attention.

i almost had my breathing under control, when the teacher told us to work with our partners, the class broke out into a jumble of murmurs almost instantly. matt slid his water bottle to me, "drink some, please." i grabbed bottle and began taking sips, matt watched carefully as i began to relax. "t-thank you," i stuttered, still shaking as i let go of his hand.

"yeah, of course," he said, examining my bouncing leg, "come here." matt opened his arms to me, ushering me into them, i hesitated before wrapping my arms around his neck and resting my head on his shoulder. matt drew comforting shapes on my back as i breathed in his scent of vanilla, silently thanking him over and over.

after that moment, we became closer. he let me come over and spend the night with him and his brothers, just sitting around talking. we were just friends though, we'd share strictly platonic touches aside from the times we both started leaning in and someone waltzed in or one of us chickened out.

before homecoming of senior year, he'd finally ask me to be his girlfriend. making those touches romantic and closing the distance between our lips. we practically clung to each other, refusing to leave the other behind.

i had the lot that i had spent all my childhood in under my name now, my mom too focused on work to come up here anymore. i didn't have to share the trailer with my mom anymore, not being banished to the small pull out couch when we did.

i didn't like being up there alone, hearing the loud pitter patter of the rain against the metal roof gave me a sense of unease, only having my pillow to latch onto. i decided to bring the triplets out here, and they loved it.

they loved when i took them driving along the winding curves of the roads and to little shops. matt stealing chris' usual spot in the front seat to be close to me, which chris surprisingly allowed with zero hesitation.

every morning i'd wake matt up to go swimming with me while the lake was calm and nobody was disrupting the fish swimming below. he always agreed, throwing on our swimsuits while trying not to wake up nic and chris, it was our thing.

as soon as we crept out of the trailer, i took a moment to admire the sunrise and breathe in the fresh, dewy air that was destined to be filled with smoke by sunset from the campfires around the park. matt snuck his hand into mine and walked me down the dock, he always let me dip in first to see how cold it is from the night before. it was always relatively cold, it cooled down a lot at night after high temperatures and the blistering sun. despite the temperature, he always got used to it if it meant spending time with me.

we drifted to the drop off, avoiding the sharp shells that inhabited the lake years prior, the water slowly swallowing our bodies. i stopped as soon as it reached my belly button and dove down, savoring the feeling. i came up for air and turned to matt, looking at him with a big smile as the water rippled at his presence around his waist like a hula hoop. "come on, dunk in!" i said, laughing as i shook my shoulders in the water.

matt rolled his eyes before taking a deep breath and falling onto his back and gliding over to me. i smiled as i admired how silky his hair looked under the water. he came up and shook his hair like a dog on me, "matt!" i giggled. he stopped his movements and pressed a kiss to my sunkissed nose.

i turned to look at the horizon and let out a sigh, "i love this, i love the water." matt began chuckling at his own thought, "well, i am about 60% water." i gave him a weird look and laughed, "yeah, i guess i love you too, dingus," i said, sarcastically rolling my eyes.

i took another moment to watch the seagulls diving into the water to bring food back to their families when i felt a familiar feeling at my feet. i looked down to see the minnows nibbling at my feet and shins, making my giggle with a huge smile on my face.

i felt matt's eyes drilling into me, i looked over at him to see he had the dopiest grin on him face. "what's your major malfunction?" i laughed, drifting towards him. he grabbed at the waistline of my bikini, pulling me closer.

"i think i'm more mesmerized by you than you are by the water."

TAGLIST : @dwntwn-strnlo @crvptidsmain @stvrni0lo @20nugs @gracietaylorsversions @ssturniolo @iha8you @lollibumblebee

#oneirophobic #nicole needs to stfu #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #nick sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader

[icedmatchatae]

Glimpse of Us | KTH Chapter VIII: Please Don’t Break It

Pairing: Problematic Idol Taehyung x Grad Student Reader

Genre: Idol AU, Ex-Childhood Best Friends into—, Angst (Hello, welcome to my angst central), Fluff (mainly in the flashbacks), Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

Summary: BTS’s V has been living a lavished and successful lifestyle, but underneath all of that, Kim Taehyung is far from the perfect image the media and fans made him out to be. All he wants is to relive the feelings of happiness and purpose in his life, but how can he when he left behind those memories years ago? The same memories, he hopes to see a glimpse of.

Warning: Angst (but what’s new), mentions of incompetency, scenes of therapy, mentions of past substance use (alcoholism, drugs), brief mentions of withdrawals, alcohol consumption, intoxication, aggressive behavior, violence/fights, mentions of murder (no one gets killed) descriptions of panic attacks, vomiting, crying, [Disclaimer—how panic attacks occur varies by the individual. I for one have experienced panic attacks and used some of the methods described. It may not work for everyone but it worked for me and how to cope]

Word Count: 12.6k

Chapter VIII: Please Don’t Break It || Series Masterlist

After the school bell rang, second-year middle schooler Taehyung exited the classroom with his three other classmates. They were talking in-depth about the new volume of One Piece that came out recently. As they were doing so, a flyer plastered on the school’s bulletin board caught his eye.

Geochang Middle School’s Annual Talent Show.

Taehyung remembered last year’s and it was absolutely remarkable. The singing, dancing, the tricks, students performed. He was impressed yet slightly envious of their confidence. He wished to sign up, but he was actually shy about his abilities. He has been practicing the saxophone, but he didn’t think he was all that skilled yet. He can dance?? It was a trial and error, but he didn’t look weird doing it.

But the thing he loved doing the most was singing. He loved it and learning how to sing songs and melodies. Although he never really performed in front of others before, well, except you and his family.

“Hey, Tae! Your girlfriend is coming.” One of his classmates tapped his shoulder for his attention. The other two snickered in the back, making him roll his eyes at their playful teasing.

“Not my girlfriend.” Taehyung corrected as always before turning his head and smiling to see your bright one.

It was your first year in middle school and was so excited when you got into the same school as your best friend. Though you weren’t in the same classes, you were still able to have lunch with him and walk to and from school with him. With your stuffed backpack carried over your shoulders, your uniform bounced in the air as you eagerly walked towards him.

“Whatever you say!” His classmate scoffed before the three of them went their separate ways. Taehyung waited for you as you headed down the hallway.

Once you reached him, he pulled you into a big hug and shook your body happily in his arms. “You think you did well with the quiz after lunch?”

As you parted away, you nodded proudly with your shoulders high. “It was surprisingly easy. Algebra equations weren’t as bad as I thought.”

“Only you would say that because you love math so much.” Taehyung retorted before his eyes diverted back to the board. “Hey, Blue.” He then pointed at the flyer. “What do you think about the talent show?”

Your eyes followed his pointing and hummed in thought, “I haven’t seen it, but it sounds like fun. Of course, I could never do that.”

Taehyung chuckled softly at your evident shyness from the spotlight. His curled lips progressively sunk as the nerves got to him by the thought. “W-What if I…signed up?”

Your head pivoted at him as your irises gleamed with glee. “If you signed up, you’re gonna be amazing, Hyungie! You have so many talents!”

A tint of pink powdered across his cheeks and nose from your compliment. “Stop, you’re just lying.”

You gasped dramatically before slapping his arm, “I can’t believe you think I’d stoop that low. I would never lie! I’m always honest with you.” You pouted childishly as you crossed your arms over your chest.

Taehyung cooed at your fond expression, wrapping his arms around you once more. “Of course, my Blue. Forgive me!” You shook your head before getting away from him. He quickly followed behind and caught up.

The two of you walked out of the campus and headed down the pathway toward your houses. There was a moment of silence before you spoke up about the talent show. “So…are you gonna sign up?”

He sighed as he stared up into the clear sky. “I’m not sure, like what if I’m not good enough?”

“If I’m not mistaken, it’s a middle school talent show where anyone could sign up for anything.”

“Wow, you say it so rashly.” He laughed, throwing his head back. “I don’t wanna make a fool out of myself. Middle schoolers are mean!”

“You’re not gonna make a fool out of yourself.” You reassured, holding the straps of your backpack. You pulled on it, so it’ll lift higher. “Because you have talents. Singing, dancing, playing an instrument…”

“Rapping?”

“No.”

“How can you be so cruel??” He shouted, his prepubescent ego shattering at your comment.

“I told you I’m always honest with you!” You giggled mischievously but spotted him pouting like a puppy. “Hyungie, I’m serious though. If you sign up, it’s gonna be a decision you won’t regret.”

“Really?” He asked, still having doubt.

“Of course, because if you won’t, you’ll keep thinking about it and wondering what if.” You linked arms with him as you leaned into his body. “If you do, I’ll support you every step of the way, okay?”

You sure knew how to make him feel better. Like how you needed reassurance, he needed some cheering on too. He looked down at you with a sad smile on, “You know how nervous I get, Blue.”

You nodded empathically, then squished your cheek towards his arm. “As I said, I’ll be the one to support you every step of the way.”

-

“So from all of this, how do you feel about her back in your life?” Dr. Im looked at Taehyung sitting across on the couch as practice and routine. In the idol’s opinion, the past sessions have been dreadful. Dr. Im said nothing negative regarding his client, but through his therapist’s non-verbal responses, it was best to say he even agreed.

Taehyung was aware he was at fault. He hasn’t been honest with him, despite certain sessions’ moods consisting of feeling good and better. Though the idol first entered into therapy to “get better,” his goal remained undetermined. Dr. Im tried very hard to cooperate with his stubborn client. He got him talking about happiness in previous sessions, but even that had gotten static. 

Taehyung didn’t know why he was so hesitant into telling Dr. Im about his life. Before their meeting, the company provided a file for the professional so he knew everything about him including his alcohol and drug use, minor fights and under-the-table conflict, and even his…episodes that only his close-knit circle knew about. 

Dr. Im reminded him again that these sessions would lack if nothing was spoken. He was brutally honest when he spoke that though progress wasn’t linear, actions and words had to be made to see progress. He was there to help by all means within the time frame. Because they both knew that Taehyung wanted to feel better, be better. Yet the term was used so often that it felt futile.

Though he was worried, Taehyung eventually opened up about something. He explained how unsatisfying life has been, including the struggles of feeling happy. But one good thing that has happened recently for the last months was reuniting with you. He described your childhood friendship, how close-knit you were with him and even his family, the fights and distance that happened leading up to the falling out, the reunion, the start, and potentially the beginning of the end once again.

It was the way Taehyung rambled about you for such a long time that there were only ten minutes left in the session. Though Dr. Im enjoyed every minute of how willing the idol talked, he needed to get out some answers to all of this.

“So how are you with her now?” His therapist asked.

The idol frowned at the recent memory. It has been two weeks since you’ve last spoken to him or since he last saw you. When it reached the one-week mark, he have had enough and tried to go to the restaurant to see you. But for some reason, Jungkook convinced him that you didn’t want to see him. Why? The answer was through Jungkook’s phone. You texted him saying he was forbidden to see you.

Everything he experienced about that felt so wrong to him that it stabbed him in the chest. The distance between you two seemed to grow as days went on. He missed you and wanted to talk to you. He didn’t like how close you were being to his member, nor did he like how you text Jungkook instead of him. The youngest even texted you right in front of him with a fucking smile too.

You were his best friend. Not fucking Jeon Jungkook.

Nevertheless, Taehyung grinned appreciatively as he reminisced about his time with you those weeks before. “It’s nice, I love it, a lot…” His responses were curt but genuine. “I, uh, she was actually part of my memories when I was happy. She was a big part of my life and helped me through a lot. I guess you can say, I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for her.”

“Which is…”

The idol squinted his eyes as he dived into the question. “Well, being an idol. To tell you the truth, I used to get quite nervous in front of crowds or people in general. In earlier times, performances used to trigger…my episodes.” His face grimaced at the worrisome experiences, especially the ones when you weren’t there. “She was there to help me, and also encouraged me to sign up and audition.”

“What I’m hearing is how appreciative are you of her?” His therapist smiled empathetically, making Taehyung nod. “I’ve noticed from the way you talked, you must really care for her too despite the years away. She is very important to you.”

“I’ll always care for her,” Taehyung confirmed pridefully with no arrogance slipping out. “Even when I accidentally become a dick sometimes.”

“And why do you think that?”

Chewing on his lips, Taehyung looked at the man as if he caught something that wasn’t supposed to show. He could lie to his therapist, but what good does it do for him? He was spending his money on this anyway. Either way, Dr. Im was wise and has been in the game for decades. A problematic idol wasn’t going to outsmart him because he’ll eventually find out about it.

So he gave up his internal battle and sighed. “I guess because I’m selfish.” And before Dr. Im could say what the meaning behind it was, Taehyung continued. “Since my life was in shambles and was in the dark for so long, I wanted a little bit of control in my life.” 

“Care to explain? I remembered you talking about being an idol and the exposure to the world.” 

Today was shockingly growth between him and his therapist. Taehyung was willing to let most of his vulnerability flow out in hopes to find at least one other person who understood his thoughts and feelings without shaming him for what he has been doing. “And to be honest, I feel like I haven’t made progress. It’s been the same bullshit every day for the past year and…I don’t know. I don’t feel good at all.“

“You’ve been going through a lot, especially recently.” Dr. Im responded as he scribbled down more notes on his clipboard. Once he was done, he placed his pen and clipboard on his lap to look over at his client. “I know you may think and say that you haven’t done much, but from seeing you when you first came to now, I’d say you’ve changed.”

Snorting in disbelief, Taehyung rolled his eyes as he leaned back into his seat. “Stop lying, sir.”

“As someone in this field of work, it is unethical to lie. Well, when was the last time you used or took substances? Recklessly drunk? Been into fights? Or even have your panic attacks?” His therapist listed meaningfully as he observed the idol. 

Pursing his eyebrows together, Taehyung pondered on the thoughts. Sure, he has gotten drunk and had minor episodes but it wasn’t to an extent compared to last year. Jesus Christ, last year was a whole mess. Taehyung was going through scandals back to back and HYBE had to cover it up because most of them were true.

Substances…he promised Namjoon and Jimin that he’d stop for the sake of the group, but he took it hard with his withdrawals. Screaming, hitting, throwing things around, and being tackled by a member or his friends. One of the only coping mechanisms was drinking or fighting with the members, and even that still wasn’t good.

Taehyung merely shrugged, “I still drink but less, I guess. I don’t know about the rest…probably a while. I was forced to stop when I came here. The…substances that is.”

“That’s amazing, Taehyung. You’ve pushed through that very well.” Dr. Im praised and nodded. “There have been improvements. You just haven’t been entirely aware of them with everything else that’s going on.”

“You think?” The idol asked softly. He always had this concern. His life never felt any better—apart from you—to fully accept how much he overcame in the past year. There were still more problems, but fewer than before.

“Of course, I’ve kept track and listed down all we discussed and the concerns that were brought up from the first time.” Dr. Im explained. “I commend you with your strength.”

“But what if I fuck up? Won't disappointment come my way?”

“Having those negative emotions will not benefit the situation, whether it’s internal or external. The hars truth would still be that you messed up, but there’s always time to get back up. Relapsing happens, but it's not the end. It may take longer but have patience with yourself.”

Taehyung didn’t realize that a tear ran down his cheek until he hiccuped a sob. But it wasn’t by the comment. It was the realization that Dr. Im was the only person who understood him being like this—a fucked-up unhappy person. Someone who won't blame him or scold him around.

But still, the hard-hitting question lingered in his mind. With or without all the problems he had, why was the feeling still there? “But even with all of that, then why am I still unhappy?”

-

You were wiping down tables while Kenji took a nap behind the cash register. You glanced at him before shaking your head in disappointment as always. He was lucky that it wasn’t busy today, it was practically empty. Then again, rush hour for lunch was over so all that was left was to wait until dinner time.

You heard rummaging through the tarp before looking up to find Jungkook and Jimin smiling and waving at you.  “___! Hi!” Jungkook greeted you before coming towards your frame for an unexpected hug.

You flinched at the touch before carefully hugging him back. “H-hi?” You lightly pushed away from him despite his strong grip. You waved at Jimin with a friendly smile. “W-what are you two doing here?” You were kind of shocked to see them. It wasn’t a bad thing because they’d been here before, but those times, they would be with Taehyung.

You haven’t spoken to or seen Taehyung since the somewhat incident. You weren’t angry at him, but the behavior still bummed you out. You were still undecided about how to think about it, but it didn’t mean you wanted nothing to do with him anymore. Ugh, you regretted those words out of your mouth. It didn’t even help that you even texted Jungkook you didn’t want to see Taehyung at all the day after.

Wow, you were dramatic and exaggerated everything. Can’t really blame yourself because of all the trauma and hardship that you’ve experienced. 

You wanted to see Taehyung again, and knowing how stubborn he was, you expected him to come and disregard your insult at most a week, the earliest being the following day. But now it has been two weeks, and you were rethinking your actions. Though it was to protect yourself, you were still so hard on him. Every frown, sad twist on his face, the deflating in his shoulder, it killed you.

You always hated seeing him like that, even when you were younger. If Taehyung hated seeing you cry, then you despised seeing him sad or scared. He was never good on his own with things like that, so you wondered how he held up all those years.

These months reuniting with him were flourishing. When you were able to push the tension to the side, you’ve seen a new light of this Taehyung. More mature, more charismatic, and more confident in himself, which made you very proud to see knowing his struggle.

But after reflecting and being honest with yourself, you truly saw your Taehyung in him. Still playful, still has a shit ton of friends, still caring, still affectionate, still thoughtful, you’ve seen him all the time.

You just weren’t fully trusting of him to even accept it. You were scared, but you had every reason to be. You knew the effort he made while you gave very little. Maybe he too had his reasons for the mishap. You shouldn’t think of him so lowly, he was trying his best while you weren’t. You felt guilty about what you’ve done and now suffered the consequences. 

You dearly wanted his friendship, whether you liked it or not. 

You did miss him within the weeks that passed. Maybe it was your turn to approach him.

“Jimin Hyung actually just came back from a trip to America.” Jungkook stretched a smile at you. “That means to eat your heart out with homeland food.”

You chuckled at him as you threw the used cloth into the bucket behind the cashier, though you purposefully missed so it hits Kenji hard enough to wake him up. He startled awake and groaned when he smelled the dirtied fabric on his face. He threw it rightfully into the bucket before standing up and glaring at your calm state. It happened before, but it always got to him like it was the first time.

“So I’m assuming you both are here for dinner? It’s pretty early for that, but doesn’t matter.” You quipped as you pulled out two menus for them.

“Actually, no.” Jimin shook his head, which made you confused. “We wanted to invite you out…for dinner.”

“Uhh, what?”

“Please, it’ll mean so much for us if you could come.” Jungkook came forth to you and grabbed your hand with both of his. Gently squeezing it when you tensed up, you seemed to relax right after. “It’ll be fun! We have to go to our company building really quickly, but we’ll eat!”

Though their invitation remained harmless, you couldn’t help but be hesitant of them and their doings. For starters, you were working and it was a weekday. You were sure you explicitly mentioned that you worked every day of the week except weekends. Though Jungkook and Jimin were kind, you don’t know much about them. Yes, you texted Jungkook from time to time but he’d usually initiate it and if you hung out with them, Taehyung would be in the picture.

“Umm, just us?” You asked. When you felt another pair of eyes on you, you glanced to the side to find Kenji staring entertainingly.

“Well, Hobi Hyung and Namjoonie Hyung will come too! That’s why we have to go back to the company.” Jimin responded enthusiastically. “Everyone else has a schedule or other prior engagements—”

“Then I remembered you, and we haven’t hung out in a while!” Jungkook interjected impatiently, squeezing your hand again for encouragement. “Please, please, please, come!”

Now there was too much hand-in-hand contact with this man. You pulled your hand away from him but lightly laughed it off to avoid any awkwardness. You waved him off and shook your head. “Thank you for the offer, but as you can see I’m w—”

“___ can go!” Kenji shouted out of the blue. He sped towards you before wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into him. You huffed at the unexpected contact with your smiling coworker before scowling up. “We aren’t as busy today actually, so we don’t need two workers here. I’m the boss so…”

“Excuse me, you are definitely not—”

“Give yourself a break from time to time, ___.” Your coworker suggested. “The last time you did so was when you were in the hospital, which shouldn’t really be the only time to take a break.”

“Kenji!”

“Halmeoni will understand and will be happy for you!” Kenji wasn’t taking no for an answer. You thinned your lips into a line before pushing him away.

“Just because you’re their grandson doesn’t give you special privileges!”

“Uhh, it absolutely does.” He scoffed, enjoying your angered state. Well, not only him. The two idols were quite fond of your reaction. “Just go, ___. Plus you need to eat.”

“I’m not a child. I can remember things like that by myself.” You rolled your eyes before crossing your hands over your chest.

“So you’ll come?” Jimin’s eyes lit up with hope. “The Hyungs don’t mind at all! I even texted them.”

Having dinner with four highly-acclaimed and handsome idols all by yourself? The offer was very intriguing, to say the least. “But wor—”

“___, Halmeoni would get mad if she saw you here and not me because she knows how much you work for your gra—”

You smacked your palm over Kenji’s mouth while you glared deadly into his pupils. You didn’t want them to know your business, despite telling your only coworker and perhaps friend—you don’t even really hang out with him outside of work—in confidence. With your eyes piercing holes into his brain, he quickly shut his mouth. “Don’t speak of it if you want those to be your last words.” He nodded, agreeing in a heartbeat before you released him.

Your coworker gasped exaggeratedly, getting a nasty shiver from you. “But ___ can go. I don’t mind working the whole dinner rush and closing up alone.”

“I don’t even have money to spend!”

“We invited you! It’s our treat!!” Jimin announced with a very lovely smile.

You sighed, still contemplating. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure! Go have fun.” Kenji reassured.

“If you text help, I’ll drop everything to come back, okay?” You told him, making sure that he was free to ask you.

Kenji shook his head, knowing how much you liked to help but never wanted it back. “Yeah, I will.”

You turned your head to spot Jungkook and Jimin being all giddy. They couldn’t believe they got you out of work so easily. They were mentally high-fiving and slapping each other’s shoulders. “Yeah, I’ll come but will it be okay? I know you’re idols and privacy and all that stuff.”

“Not to worry about that.” Jimin shooed that idea off. “Let’s go!”

You took your apron off and hung it back on the hooks. You barely grabbed your bag when Jungkook reached for your hand and tugged you to follow him out. Your irises looked back at a waving Kenji as he watched you three leave.

This was going to be an interesting experience. Maybe it’ll be good. Help you put yourself out there again after years of keeping to yourself. That was what you and Taehyung wanted after all.

Though you left, you didn’t realize that you forgot your phone inside your apron pocket.

-

Taehyung mindlessly stared into the lit TV screen with a random drama playing. The cascading sun began settling down for the day through the floor-to-ceiling windows. Yeontan rested on his lap while the idol stroked his coat. Not bothering to pay attention to his surroundings, he was deep into his thoughts which all resorted back to you.

He wondered how you were, probably working right now since it was close to dinner time. But he wanted to know if you were okay, with school, with work, with everyone going on right now. He understood that you practically banished him and tried to respect your wishes, but the selfish devil on his shoulder told him to fuck that and run back to you. But he reminded himself of what his therapist told him a couple of days back.

“Though it’s great for you to have her back in your life, you can’t force her to do things that you want and she doesn’t.” Dr. Im informed carefully. 

“That’s not fair!” The idol whined. “I know she does, she’s just so hesitant with me after all that I did.”

“Well, think about it this way—if someone made you do things you didn’t want but they did, how would you feel? Both sides have to consent, right?”

Taehyung kept silent, knowing the right and moral answer to it. But he knew you were different. Your friendship was different compared to anyone. Simply accepting defeat and parting away from either side was wrong and cruel, making that a bad best friend in the eyes of Hyungie and Blue.

If there was one trait you and Taehyung’s relationship was always strong about was stubbornness and adamance. Your friendship stood long because neither side wouldn’t give up on the other, even if communication lacked at some points. You’d bother and irritate (mainly Taehyung) but also protect and care for one another by all means. Because you knew what was best for each other, whether you liked it or not.

If anything, he knew more about you than you did yourself and vice versa.

“Honey, I’ll be back!” The high-pitched voice sent shivers down his spine. She seemed too giddy for his liking right now. Scowling a bit before relaxing an emotionless expression, he shifted his attention towards his dolled-up girlfriend. He was about to ask where she was going, but remembered she had dinner plans with friends she hasn’t seen in a while.

“Have fun. Hope you black out for me.” He piped, but his demeanor remained.  

Clara rolled her eyes, then laughed. “Will you be home alone? You haven’t been out with anyone.”

Ahh, there it was. Yes, what she said was true. After making up with her, Taehyung stayed home all day or at the company building. He hasn’t seen you, Seojoon, or any of his members despite texting. There were no in-betweens, making the growing feeling inside eat him alive.

Life sucked, but hey, his girlfriend wasn’t biting into his ass. The past two weeks Clara was soooo lovey-dovey, sweet, and happy seeing him always in the house. She would ask him if he was going out or not but knew the default answer which she would get all excited over. She spent so much more time with him in that time frame than this past year.

But Taehyung was going mental. Actually, that was the reason why he remembered where she was going because it was finally away from him.

“I’ll be fine.” He hummed, trying to go back to focusing on the TV before him, or whatever he was doing.

“I’ll miss you.” She cooed as she skipped towards the couch. From behind, she bent down to kiss him on the cheek. He scrunched his nose, keeping his hands on his sleeping dog. “Bye, I love you!”

“Me too.” He muttered. Once Clara left and closed the front door, Taehyung realized he held his breath. He felt suffocated, it wasn’t good. Like a time bomb ticking waiting to be detonated any minute, he seemed a bit more alleviated now that he was in the house alone for the night.

Yet he didn’t want to turn into that woman from the Yellow Wallpaper Namjoon talked about before. Maybe it was time to get out. He needed it, but most importantly, perhaps he needed to go to the restaurant to make up with you. He had to. It didn’t sit well with him knowing that you were away from him. He just needed some good right now and if it doesn’t happen, he’d crack.

He turned his head slightly to spot the peace lily plant he had bought for you sitting on the coffee table. It has been sitting there since that night. He took care of it in the meantime, searching online on how to maintain it.

He hoped you understood and forgave him. He didn’t comprehend why he tried to kiss you, but he’ll do anything to get you back.

-

“Jesus Christ, this place is top-notch.” You muttered under your breath when you observed Jimin scan his face to make the elevator function. Jungkook heard your comment, making him giggle beside you. Jimin pressed a floor button before it began to move.

“Our safety is important, especially when visitors come regularly,” Jungkook explained. “That’s why there’s security everywhere.”

“Yes, but it didn’t help that they accused me of being a sasaeng when you both were on my sides smiling.” You mentioned the unfortunate mishap. You stood there embarrassingly without any knowledge while Jimin had to report to them you were a friend. But you weren’t on their friend list, so you needed to make a pass and fingerprint scan. It took longer than anticipated, so you were slightly uncomfortable.

“Sorry about that.” Jimin blew a chuckle out of his nostrils. “Precautions, that’s all.” You hummed in response, patiently waiting for your floor. 

Once you were on the fifteen floor, your trio walked out of the lift. You followed them down a hallway where you reached a spacious lounging area. It shouted out rich and expensive because the couches were built into the floors. Table tennis in the corner, unlimited stocks of water, juice, and other endorsements HYBE groups had, but what fascinated you was the spread of plants surrounding the room.

It looked like the nursery you and Taehyung went to, but of course, the plants were for aesthetics than grabs. You were in awe, scanning through them while Jimin spoke up.

“I texted the hyungs but they aren’t answering, so I’ll bother them. Be right back.” Jimin announced before separating and going down another hallway, leaving only you and Jungkook here.

While you were preoccupied staring at the greenery, Jungkook stared at you nervously. There was something he wanted to ask you but didn’t know how to or when would be the appropriate time especially since it was difficult to hang out with you. The maknae was confident in himself, but yet he was still shy at heart. But this was probably the only time he had a moment alone with you.

“___?” He called your name. Turning your attention to the youngest member of the group, your eyes grew wide in acknowledgment. “C-Can I ask you something? I promise it won’t take long.”

“Sure.” You agreed while keeping a wondering yet polite look.

“I know we only text and we don’t usually hang out but…” Jungkook began. He paused to bite his lower lip to calm himself before gazing his doe eyes onto yours. “I was wondering if we could like…go out together…alone…like a date?”

The sudden confession made you blush red like a tomato with eyes blinking rapidly to wake yourself up in case it was just a dream. But it wasn’t. Jungkook asked you out with confidence and genuineness.

You knew he had a crush on you, but you assumed it was nothing more. Kind of like his crush on IU, it was there but there was no action. Then again, you weren’t an idol. You didn’t even look like IU or even up to par with her visuals…why did he even like you?

“Why?” You wondered aloud.

Your one-word questioning shocked him yet amused him with your furrowed eyebrows and puffed pout. “What do you mean why?”

Your eyes roamed around you to avoid his staring. “Like…why? I’m nowhere near your type!”

His lips twitched upwards. “How do you know if you’re not my type?”

“Well, even though Taehyung and I parted ways before you all debuted, I still kept up with news and music.” You responded, still not meeting his eyes. When he knew you were trying to avoid his stare, he grabbed your chin. Turning to face him, you finally meet his eye contact and cocked your brow. “I-I know I’m not your type. You said it was IU, or anyone will long hair and nice thighs or something. Sorry if I come a bit rude.”

“You’re not.” He smiled, shaking his head. “And that was my type, so who knows what my type is now?”

“You. You would know.”

Jungkook squinted his eyelids at you. A bit sassy, yet you come off so blunt like it was obvious. It reminded him of someone close. “Type can also be different from attraction. But regardless of type, I’m still asking you if you’d wanna hang out. I wanna get to know you.”

Though Jungkook was a good guy, a good person actually, it would be wrong to lead him on when you were not interested in him. He was handsome, sweet, and a bit silly, but it didn’t feel right with him. You knew it wasn’t a good sign to affiliate with him or any of the other members personally.

“Jungkook, thank you for the offer but—”

“Fuck, I knew this was gonna happen.” Jungkook groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose in despair, already thinking the worst.

“No, no, hear me out.” You tried your best to give the benefit of the doubt. “I-I just want to focus on my studies right now. Graduate school is a pain for a simpleton like me. Adding onto work, it’s a lot.”

“You’re not a simpleton…” He spoke softly.

You grinned sympathetically. “Either way, I don’t really want to lead you on if I’m not putting all my effort into it. I hope you understand.” It made sense, though there was more to your reasoning than what was said. But he didn’t need to know that.

Jungkook sighed, “Fortunately, and unfortunately, I do. I should have known better than to ask you since you are Taehyung Hyung’s best friend like you’re…” He scanned around cautiously to see if anyone was around. “The..B word.”

You were taken aback, so much questioning running through your mind. First of all—“The B word? You’re not thinking bitch, right?”

His pupils dilated, waving his hands in denial. “No, definitely not that! I meant your nickname!”

“Nickname?”

“Blue!” He yelled but then slapped a hand over his mouth. He acted like he said a cursed word that brought a demon around us. Still confused, you tried expressing your concern but the man beat you to it. “Sorry, we’re not supposed to call you that, that’s why.”

“It’s not some forbidden word though…” You weren’t offended, but his high alert left you baffled. Taehyung was the only one who ever called you that. Not once did anyone else tag along with it, or at least followed through. You remembered that his younger siblings tried calling you Blue and he was not happy about it.

The nickname held much meaning to you and was kept deep into your heart, even with the hurtful memories that came with it. You haven’t heard the name in a while, so your heart longed for it, yet didn’t like it, especially when it came out of the mouth of someone else. But again, Jungkook didn’t need to know that.

“Hyung gets angry with it.” Jungkook chuckled nervously, easing the awkward tension he created.

“Relax though. It’s not harmful.” You tried calming him down. He nodded and stood quietly, but you still had more questions you wanted to ask. Your heart slowly grew anxious. “But what do you mean you knew better? What does me being Taehyung’s best friend have to do with that? But also I must remind you that we aren’t be—”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, but it’s okay. I still want to get to know you better. I wanna be your friend at least!” The youngest member shrugged, shifting the topic.

He just blew you off like that, but it was whatever. A weird conversation…but you too wanted it to be over.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” You agreed slowly. Jungkook gave you two thumbs up and a loving bunny smile. You then heard a group of footsteps progressively getting louder, so you turned your head to see Jimin, Namjoon, and Hoseok coming back. You praised the heavens after that.

So much going on, very little knowledge…

-

“What do you mean she’s not here?” Taehyung questioned a sitting Kenji who was finished with his remaining customers leaving. The restaurant was still open, but no one but the idol was there for dinner.

Halmeoni then came out from the kitchen and noticed the handsome idol right away. “Oh, Taehyung! You’re back. How are you?”

He looked at the elderly woman and forced a smile and bow at her. “Hello, Halmeoni. I-I’m fine, but Kenji said ___ isn’t here.”

She hummed in response, “Yeah, she’s not here! Kenji convinced her to take the night off. She needed it.”

“Do you know where she is? Is she at home?”

“She’s actually having dinner…with some guys,” Kenji smirked playfully because he saw Taehyung’s eyes bulged out and jaw unhinged.

“What?” The idol yelled a little too loud, making the younger man giggle.

“Finally, she’s hanging out with people!” Halmeoni cheered.

Knowing how much stress and concern the idol was in, Kenji decided to alleviate it. “Relax, it’s your bandmates.” He informed explicitly to get it into Taehyung’s head. “Jungkook Hyung and Jimin Hyung came to visit and asked her out for dinner. Taehyung nodded, also recalling that Jimin was also back from his trip. “Seems like you weren’t invited if you didn’t know?” That brought a scowl towards the younger man, but he couldn’t care less as he kept a smile on his face.

His expression relaxed as the words sunk in. Though it probably was a simple and casual dinner, Taehyung felt insulted and sad. You’ve been away from him for a while and said that you never wanted to see him again. Yet Jungkook and Jimin had the privilege of hanging out with you.

He was hurt, not at you. The entire situation. He hated where everything was going and what changes are happening. It wasn’t fair for him and his feelings. But this was all his fault, right? His doings led to this, so he had to deal with it, right?

He hated it, he hated himself even more. Nothing really was going his way and he had to suck it up so he couldn’t be selfish? Let others be happy and enjoy one another while he sulked and self-deprecated alone by himself. So much for improvement, right Dr. Im?

With that being said, he bolted out of the restaurant in a scurry, leaving Halmeoni and Kenji baffled and wondering what just happened. Now he needed to get away. He wanted to be alone right now. There were so many things that he couldn’t do and have. Well, enough was enough.

He needed an escape fast.

-

“Cheers!” The sounds of the glass filled clashing together echoed through the private dining room. You smiled and nodded as the boys cheered rowdily at the simple gesture. All of you then took a gulp or sip of the foamed beer that caused you to make a repulsive face with your nose scrunched.

“Don’t like beer?” Sitting next to you, Jimin laughed as he saw your expression.

“Uhh, yeah but it’s fine.” You smiled through the gross bitter aftertaste. “Don’t really like drinking as much.”

“But when you do, what kind do you like? We can order some.” Namjoon, who sat on the other side of you, asked with a friendly dimpled smile.

“I usually just go for wine or any flavored soju. Soda is nice too.” You answered while forcing yourself to drink the beer, making a soured face.

Hoseok, who sat across from you, laughed as he pulled the drink away from you. You grew big-eyed like someone stole your candy. You reminded him of someone and it was so adorable. “You don’t need to force yourself. We’ll get you those.” You muttered a thank you. Before you could even put a vegetable in your mouth, Hoseok wondered, “So how are you? We haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Oh, I’m fine, thank you. Just work and school has been my life right now.” You quickly threw slices of pork belly into your mouth and chewed while thinking of anything else to say. “I’m not doing anything big like you all.”

“___, please. Though our lives are different from yours, we still equate and emphasize the importance of what and why others do.” Namjoon argued as he watched you eat. You stuffed your face and pouted when you did so. It looked so familiar…

“Well, yes. I agree with you.” You shrugged, gulping down the food. “But really, life is…alright.” You hoped they won’t ask because it would be an opening of a dam you didn’t want to let out. 

“Feel free to hit us up though!” Hoseok offered, making you relax. “We loved spending time with you at the party! I especially love meeting and getting to know new people.”

“O-Oh, thank you. Just me?” You chuckled politely. You also couldn’t help but be in an intimate atmosphere with your bias.

“Yeah? And the other members too if they want. We all like you.” Jungkook mentioned as he kept grabbing more food off the plates.

Okay, you weren’t expecting this at all. Usually, especially with friends of Taehyung, would only put up with you because of him. They wanted him, not you but you were a package deal. So it was surprising to know they wanted to be friends with you. Perhaps this was what Taehyung meant when they were different than his past “friends.”

“Thank you.” You thanked them, smiling shyly and looking down at the dishes of food.

“You don’t have to be so formal with us.” Jimin giggled as he poured the bottle of wine given in a new glass for you. “You’re acting like it’s your first time making friends.”

“Technically, yes. I’m practically a loner.” You pursed your lips as you looked up to meet all their perplexed yet concerned stares. Obviously, it was true but you made it into a joke, but they didn’t know so you shook your head. “I mean yes, that’s true. But…it’s fine.” You laughed awkwardly, but they continued their gazes, causing you to stop. “I don’t really have many friends.”

“Like…at all?”

You pondered on the thought, trying your best to think of some people. “I guess, there’s my coworker. But we just talk at work most of the time. Oh, and his grandparents!”

“H-How about in Geochang?” Hoseok inquired with a smile. “Taehyungie said he had a lot of friends there! Since you were his best friend, we assumed that they were yours too!”

“They were still his friends. I only was there for Taehyung when he would spend time with them. For the most part, those friends didn’t want me there.” You responded. “His sister was my age. She was my friend, but I barely contacted her after her family moved out. All of them actually…”

Okay, maybe you made this dinner more depressing than it should have, judging by their empathetic faces. Your eyes bounced off of them as you let out a laugh. “I mean now you’re all my friends, right? It doesn’t matter anymore.” You balled your hands in fists and waved them in the air, getting all excited out of nowhere.

Assuming what you were trying to do, Namjoon joined in your laughter to die down the awkwardness. “Yes, we’re friends. Don’t worry, we want to spend time with you too, whether Taehyung’s here or not.”

“Hyung’s right!” Jungkook agreed. “We should be able to hang out with you, even call or text.”

“I guess so, sure.” You said. “Again, I work and go to school. It’s my priority. I’m here in Seoul for that reason.”

“Of course, we respect it.” Jimin nodded reassuringly. “But don’t exert yourself too much. Wouldn’t want to repeat the hospital thing Taehyung told us about?”

With the mention of his name, you were curious if they knew how he was. But you refrained from doing so. For some reason, you didn’t want to ask them. They probably would have meant well, but your gut feeling begged to differ. After all, this was your first time alone with them so you simply nodded. Maybe one day you’ll ask Taehyung about it. 

“By the way, let’s get your phone number or username, whichever you prefer.” Hoseok pulled his phone out of his pants pocket. 

You accepted and were about to get your phone out of your bag, only to notice it wasn’t there. You checked through the pockets and doubled into the bigger space, but came up empty-handed. You realized you must have left it back at work. “I forgot my phone at work. Can you please bring me back there?”

“Sure, but after dinner, of course,” Jungkook answered before placing meat wraps on your plate. You raised a brow at him, to which he winked cheekily. You scoffed before taking a bite of it.

“___, if you’re not busy on Saturday, I was hoping you could tag along with me to this trendy cafe. I was supposed to go with my sister, but she had a last-minute thing. They have this amazing mango dessert and iced Americano.” Hoseok invited, making you blush. You were experiencing too much with your favorite of the group, but you didn’t want to show how flustered you were. 

“I’d love to actually. Weekends are my day offs.”

“Wait, I wanna come too!” Jungkook pouted, not giving up on getting closer to you. “You talked about the place before and it sounded good.”

You shrugged, not minding at all. “Sure, but I hope iced Americanos aren’t the only drinks they serve. I don’t like coffee.”

“They have a lot more drinks like this coconut refresh—” Hoseok couldn’t even finish his sentence when you grimaced at the words. But he merely laughed at your displease. “Not a big fan of coconut?”

“I get queasy from the smell and taste.” Just by imagining it, you swore you could smell the scent, giving you shivers down your spine.

“You’re so much like Taehyung…” Namjoon mumbled, but the rest of you heard him speak. Jimin asked him to reiterate what he said. “I said, you’re so much like Taehyung.”

You blinked at the leader as you straighten your back. You weren’t expecting that either. “Wh—How?”

“You make faces when you don’t like something, you don’t drink coffee, you shake your fists in the air like him, and you pout when you chew.” Namjoon listed his observations, which not only freaked you out but the others. “S-Sorry, I was just looking and thinking. I’m sorry if I disrespected you.”

You shook your head and waved him off. “No, you didn’t. Uhhh…I didn’t think people would notice enough.” After many years and some months reuniting with Taehyung, you realized how many of each other’s habits you took after even to this day. It wasn’t a bad thing but showed how much you influenced and impacted one another.

“I thought I was the only one…” Jimin chimed in as well. “You’ve been doing these small things, like him. Weird…”

“But it’s kinda cute.” Hoseok hummed. “Maybe a best friend thing?”

A soft grin appeared on your face, reflecting on what he said. You weren’t insulted, you didn’t deny, maybe he was right. Maybe Taehyung was still somehow your best friend. “Maybe.”

-

The clear liquor burned down his throat as he chugged the green bottle in one go. Once it was empty, he threw it to the side of him. The other finished bottles crashed together on the cold concrete ground in the corner of the alleyway. 

Taehyung wiped off the excess leaking on the side of his mouth with the back of his hand. His eyes roamed around the dark cold night. Blurred blobs of people passed through his hazed vision. None bothered to take a glimpse of a drunken man sitting on trash and dirt. Not even the police were supposed to patrol the area because they didn’t bother to care enough for a place that was deemed sketchy, and probably illegal. Not their business at all.

At some point, the soju and cognac naturally became water to the idol and made him feel something the past two weeks couldn’t do. He cracked, going with the “alcohol can make it better” route he hasn’t done so for a while. He did contemplate his… other methods, but he couldn’t get it right away so this was probably the most convenient way.

He laughed to himself, in a pitied and disappointed way. If his past self saw him like this, the idol he “wanted to be,” he knew the younger him would want to punch present him in the throat for deciding to throw his life away. Because despite being one of the most renowned idols in the world, what the fuck was going on with him inside? He couldn’t help himself with all that was happening to him and the spotlight of V. In the morning, he read articles about death threats and dating scandals with another Blackpink member. Can reporters at least be creative with their fake news? He didn’t like the implied coverage of him running through the group.

He didn’t want to let it get to him, but as a human, it was hard not to. When things spread, it got frightening for him because he knew some of it wasn’t true. He couldn’t have issues that he could keep to himself. A handful of people always had to know, oftentimes before him too.

All these words made him feel discouraged and pressured but hid all his emotions and feelings away to not make anything worsen. Not let those online who read too much into his behavior speculate and spread rumors. But also not let those around him talk down upon him when he suppressed his happiness for theirs.

He fucking hated this. He was feeling too much and there was nothing he could do. He felt it all inside his chest, waiting for it to explode. He didn’t want to cry anymore, he did that within the first hour of drinking. He has been in the same spot for at least three hours. It was probably close to midnight but couldn’t give a single fuck.

He stared at his last unopened bottle, it was Yakult flavored. He never tried it before, only saw them on the shelves. But he couldn’t resist it because it somehow reminded him of you. You used to love Yakult, drinking it at least once a day. It was also because Taehyung gave you one every day to satisfy you.

The alcoholic taste was gone in his taste buds, so he assumed that it tasted like juice. Shrugging, he uncapped the bottle and lipped, gulping in a hefty amount in his mouth.

“Look at that man. Some worthless piece of shit.” Taehyung’s ears twitched at the voice. Turning his head to the sound, he spotted three men staring down at him in disgust. Examining the trio swaying and trying their best to keep still, they were tipsy. Despite being a famous individual, they don’t seem to realize it as their intoxicated minds overpowered their vision.

But Taehyung wasn’t about to ignore another stranger blatantly insulting him. Though with half of his mind only functioning, he lets more of his guard and restrains down. He became more reckless, and messier, and doesn’t give a fuck about consequences. His pride was the center of the cause and he was not about to let a low life say shit to him.

Using his palms, he pushed himself from the ground to stand tall. Well, unsteady but he supported himself with the building wall. He glared at the trio who seemed about the same size as him. At a glance, they looked much older but couldn’t see clearly with their bangs covering their eyes. “Dude, fuck off. You’re one to talk with your five-millimeter dick.” Taehyung slurred.

“The fuck did you say, you bastard?” The center, we’ll call him the leader, a person garbled back as he stepped forward.

“Say it to his face.” The one on the left acted all tough.

“I did. You’re just so stupid, you can’t understand anything any human being says.” The idol snapped back and then glanced over at the other one.

“Acting all brave when you’re a skinny guy.” The one on the right finally came up and slightly pushed Taehyung but he was able to keep his balance.

“Pft, acting all that when you can’t even reach the cupboards above.” Taehyung spat back before hiccuping. “Now leave me alone. I minded my own business and you three shitheads should too.”

“Fuck that, you’re gonna get down on your knees and apologize for what you fucking did.” The leader butted in, getting more riled up than before.

“I didn’t do shit. I’m not apologizing.” The idol shook his head.

“We’ll get it out of you.” The leader came forth and was about to punch Taehyung in the face. But Taehyung threw a jab on the leader’s cheek. The guy fell back on his butt on the ground, caressing his pained cheek. “Ahh, you fucker! You’re gonna get this!”

Then all of sudden, the other two helped his friend by attacking the lonesome idol. But little did they know, Taehyung has had experience with situations like this.

-

It was the day of the talent show and Taehyung was fearfully worried. He has been practicing day and night and right after school whilst dragging you along with him. You stayed up with him the night before to help him with pronunciation, support, and anything he needed.

This was his first time singing in front of an audience and you were so excited for him. You knew he was going to do well. He always had a beautiful singing voice. It was so worthy enough for him to be an artist, an idol, anything to do with his talent. But you also knew how nervous he was. You had to hold him and run your fingers through his hair last night to calm him down. You cheered him on, praised him, and gave him pep talks, but yet his unconscious thinking dragged him down.

An hour before the talent, his family did quick errands and bought flowers to congratulate Taehyung, leaving you alone with him at his house. You both were dressed up and ready. Him in black dress pants and an ivory buttoned-down shirt while you were in a sage-green dress. Your best friend wanted to do last-minute rehearsals before you left for school.

You clapped proudly as you sat on his bed, watching him finish the song at the end of it. You bounced off and flattened your skirt. “Hyungie, that was amazing. I’m so excited!”

“I felt like I was off-key at the end.” He frowned, criticizing his perfect practice. “Let me do it ag—”

“Taehyung, you did great. There’s no need to practice again. You’ve been practicing so much, you’re gonna hurt your vocal cords.”

“Blue, I know but—”

“No buts.” You squeezed his shoulder as a sign of comfort. “Sit down and rest a little before we leave. I’ll make some tea for you.” He nodded and sat down on his desk chair.

Once you left his room, his thoughts occupied him. He knew how agitated he was. It was because he wanted to do well. He wanted to perform and showcase his talent to not only you but his family, friends, heck, everyone in the school. Sure, there was no winning or losing, but the pride was still there to brag about how well you did.

But this was really for him to prove himself. Though having many other talents, he wanted to think that he was a good enough singer. He enjoyed singing, perhaps even using it to make a career as an idol. But that sounded too far-fetched.

It was the self-confidence he lacked drastically. He couldn’t help but think lowly and envisioned embarrassing himself in front of everyone, giving them and him no hope in his singing. You told him otherwise, and it did help him throughout the weeks before the talent show. But now being on less than an hour before the talent show, every bit of assurance flew out the window and now the negative notions began shining.

Was there even hope for him? How much does he believe to actually go through with this? Maybe he can drop out last minute? He doesn’t think the amount of work and effort he did was enough. Will he disappoint you? His family? The entire school? Himself? He was going to do a shitty job, he just knew.

His hands suddenly became clammy, opening and closing his trembling fists. His breathing felt like it dropped, making him feel choked up and find it difficult to even inhale. The beating of his heart increased rapidly, unable to catch up with it. He winced as the pressure worsened. He got out of his seat hastily, pacing around his room.

He couldn’t process everything clearly, he was getting antsy and afraid by the second. His uncontrollable eyes moved around his surroundings as he felt his tear ducts swell up from the overwhelming state of his body. It was happening again, but this was the worst one yet.

He tried those breathing exercises you taught him to do. “D-Deep breaths. Deep breaths.” He respired quiveringly, but after a few attempts, it didn’t feel like it was working. “Come on, Taehyung. Breathe.” He lets out an alarmed sob. It wasn’t getting better, and he couldn’t come up with anything else.

Unknowing of his episode, you entered calmly into his room with a fresh cup of tea for him. Once you closed the door behind you, you turned around. “Taehyung, I got yo—” You spotted him all frazzled, wheezing, and weeping. He walked all over his room, feeling out of control.

“Bl-Blue!” He wept, going towards you. “I-I’m scared. Pl-Pl-Please.” He grabbed your unoccupied hand into his quaking ones.

You placed the cup down on his table, so your hands were fully occupied with his. “Hyungie, let’s do the deep breaths. You got this. You remember those, right?” Your voice balanced, and relaxed as possible.

He shook his head and cried, “I tried it. It doesn’t work.” He began heaving heavily. You rushed him to sit down on his bed and you followed for support.

You had to think fast about what other things you could do. If deep breathings weren’t enough there has to be something else that can help. Questions? You didn’t have anything cold. Closing your eyes. Maybe distractions?

“Hey, Hyungie. Look at me. Focus on me.” You squeezed his hands. His moving eyes hurriedly gazed at you. “Remember that one song we learned. I love that song and its lyrics.”

 He shook his head again. “Wh-What does that have to do with anything?”

“Do you remember it?” You ignored his questioning. “How ‘bout singing me them, come on? I’ll sing with you too.”

“Blue? I ca—”

“Come on. Just you and me, Hyungie.” You encouraged his panicked state.

-

“Are you sure you want us to leave you from here?” Jimin asked through the rolled-down passenger window. As promised, they took you back to the restaurant. They were willing to wait for you so that they could drop you off at home but you denied. You didn’t want them to know where you lived because it was in a bad area, and they probably had a busy day tomorrow. You didn’t want to bother them for too long.

“Oh, I’m sure!” You promised, shouldering your bag. “I live pretty close to here anyway.” Technically, you needed to ride the bus but that wasn’t anything you didn’t do before.

“Yah, why is this in a scary area?” Hoseok was in the backseat, looking around the area through the tinted window.

“Ahh, it’s not scary. Trust me. I’ve always left here around this time.” You reassured, trying to ease their worries. “I just don’t go down the road we drove through.”

“Yeah, we should take another route,” Namjoon suggested from the backseat, scrolling through his phone. “I think I saw a drug exchange and it’s not sitting right with me. I feel like an accomplice.”

“___, are you really sure?” Jungkook asked once more, ducking down from the driver’s seat to look at you.

“I’m perfectly fine, I promise.” You smiled. “Thank you for dinner and paying. I appreciate it. Jungkook, send my number to everyone.” Jungkook clicked his tongue and threw a finger gun at you.

“Anytime, ___. We’re grateful to have spent time with you.” Jimin chirped happily.

“Call or text us any time!”

“I guess, I’ll get going inside so bye!” You waved your goodbye. They said theirs back and watched you go into the restaurant before they drove off.

Once you flung the tarp open, Kenji was about to yell that they were closed until he saw you again. “Oh, why are you back?”

“I forgot my phone in my apron.” You sighed as you headed towards the hooks. “You know when I was manhandled out of the place.” Your coworker laughed as he started putting up the chairs. You dug into your apron pocket and finally retrieved your phone.

Through your Lock Screen, you noticed many messages and calls. The most recent ones were from Jungkook and unknown numbers, which were probably the other boys. Some messages were from Kenji, but they were irrelevant since most of them were memes. But what intrigued you the most was that there were twelve missed calls and messages from Taehyung. The messages consisted of where you were, how are you, please tell him if you were okay, and other concerns he had.

These were the first contacts from him in a while, telling you that he never bothered giving up. Your lips curled slightly at the thought before you put your device into your pocket. “I guess I’ll get going again. Thanks for covering my shifts.” You announced.

“No need to thank me. It wasn’t bad.” Kenji shrugged. You were about to take your leave before he called for you. “By the way, Taehyung Hyung came to the restaurant and asked about you.”

You stopped your track, diverting your head to your coworker. “H-he came?”

Kenji crooned in response. “Yeah, it was a little while after you left. I just told him you were casually out with his members.” Though it was casual, you spectated that Taehyung could have possibly thought worse of it, especially since you two still weren’t on talking terms yet.

“Do you know where he went?” You gulped, growing concerned.

“No, he didn’t say. Just dipped out.” Your coworker informed. “He was probably pissed that he wasn’t invited.“ Maybe, or maybe even more.

You nodded again before saying your goodbyes. Once he said goodnight, you were out of the restaurant with your phone back in your hands as you wondered where Taehyung was. He may have gone back home, but you weren’t so sure. You could text any of the boys if they knew, but you weren’t so sure if they did since they were with you the entire time. They also mentioned the rest of the members were busy. But now you were questioning how busy Taehyung was if he managed to come here for you.

Calling him should be okay since he texted you back. It should be okay to do so. It would also mean that you were good with him again. As you began your way to the bus stop, you pressed on his contact to call. But after long-awaited rings, it went straight to voicemail. So you called again, but again with the voicemail. Deja vu…

Shaking your head at that thought, you left a voicemail. “Hey, Taehyung. I saw your calls and text. Sorry, I couldn’t answer right away. I left my phone back in the restaurant. I also found out you stopped by. Call me when you received my message…” You were feeling alarmed for an odd reason. “Stay safe, okay?” You ended the voicemail and threw your phone back into your bag.

You couldn’t understand the tingling sensation inside of you. It left you uncomfortable, almost like something was wrong but there was nothing to be concerned about. Your night was restful and enjoyable. The members were indeed affable and kind towards you. Though you were a bit shy with your responses, they knew how to ease you in. They knew how to make people comfortable; you admired that trait of theirs.

While you were walking quietly, you then heard thumps and grunts at a distance. It didn’t stop your feet though, you clutched onto your bag as you pushed yourself to get through. It could be a couple doing public indecency, a burglar, or maybe even a murder. Usually common in areas like this.

But the one thing you had to remember was to protect yourself, so you weren’t about to get into other people’s business and suffer. Unless it was an innocent bystander, you carried pepper spray with you at all times.

The volume of the noises increased as you continued your way. It was until you reached an alleyway that you noticed four figures over each other. It seemed like a fight, but in addition to the emptied bottles you found through your scrutiny, it was a drunken fight.

Because of that, it was not your business, and was about to leave the premises when you heard a shout. “Fuck off!” That voice…was familiar. But senses could deceive you, so you were battling your curiosity with your rationale. You were alone, with nothing but pepper spray and your hands as self-defense, but still, it wasn’t enough if it would be four against one.

Yet if you left, you’d have some sort of guilt if it was someone you knew. But then again, who would it even be? Kenji? He was still at the restaurant. There wouldn’t be anyone you knew, unless—

The sound of glass shattering broke through your mind. You sneakingly stepped forth at the end of the alleyway. You hid behind trashed boxes, observing the people fighting. The streetlights were dimmed and blinking. You were able to see faces and silhouettes, but they were still a bit unclear. 

You squinted your eyes. A man held a broken bottle while two stood in front of him. One was on the ground possibly passed out. But you noticed liquid near his head, and it didn’t look like a good sign.

“You fucking killed him!” One of them shouted at the man holding the glass.

“No, I didn’t!” That very man screamed, and it sounded very distinct.

“Yes, you did. You murdered my friend!” Another yelled back.

“No, I didn’t!” The man repeated, voicing out through a sob. Then the two figures attacked him, coming from his sides. They threw punches, kicks, and blows at his body but the man was still standing strong, being able to take both of them. “I’m not a murderer!” He grunted as his back slammed on the concrete wall, throwing down the broken glass.

Through that angle, you were given a vivid image of him. Once you saw it, you swore your heart dropped.

A teary-eyed Taehyung swung his arms and aimed at their face and kicked their chest. One fell back and groaned while the other held his stomach. “I’m not a murderer! You’re hurting me! You’re hurting me!” The vein on his neck was prominent and straining as he kept shouting. He kicked the man on the ground in the chest while he kneed the other in the stomach again.

The two were on the ground, groaning in pain and moving weakly. Taehyung panted, looking down at them. You watched him lean on the wall for support before he covered his face with his palms. You heard soft crying coming out of his mouth, twisting your heart in ache. How did he even get here? How did this happen?

Your thoughts remained, but they were immediately pushed back when you scrutinized him more. His body was notably shaking, even at the distance you were in. He jerked his hands in the air as if it would alleviate him. You could hear his harsh wheezing densely as he began circling the three men on the ground.

It was as if your body was on high alert because you felt yourself running toward him. You curved and jumped over the men to get to him. He then felt another figure coming towards him and was about to get defensive again until he found your eyes, eyes that knew how to calm him down.

“Bl-Blue.” His voice cracked through his heaves, stepping away from you. His eyes went out of control as he looked over at the unconscious men, making him realize you saw him like this. Saw him in a way you have never seen him before.

He feared the worst.

Then all the fears from within traveled from his stomach to out of his mouth, retching all the liquids he consumed on the concrete. You shifted away from the vomit. His throat burned furiously as he gagged the intoxication and dizziness out. Tears pearled down his face and his nose reddened by the forced action.

As he somehow managed to finish, he wiped his mouth with his sleeve. But his hyperventilation intensified as he whined at the piercing pain within his chest. Holding where his heart was, he folded down. Before he could crash down, you hooked an arm under his form and guided him away from the scene. Your steps were wider and brisk until you stopped at the corner that had boxes stacked enough for him to not look at what happened.

You helped him stand steadily with cautious hands on his shoulders. “___, I-I-can’t breathe.” He squeaked, his body convulsing under your touch. Despite the signs of a panic attack, when he was in this state, he always needed a loved one’s touch.

“I’m sorry. Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay. We’ll get through this. Let’s do deep breaths.” You shushed him. You led some exercises you recalled from your memories. Inhale, 2, 3, 4. Hold, 2, 3, 4. Exhale, 2, 3, 4. Hold, 2, 3, 4. But it wasn’t working as he shook his head, the breathing was still weighted and tears slipping out of his puffed eyes.

You focused on him, being as peaceful as possible. It wouldn’t help the situation if you were the opposite. You had to think fast, attempting to recollect past things you’ve done. But it was such a long time ago; it was challenging you. You didn’t think he still had them after he overcame his stage fright, but this was probably for a different reason and his coping stayed constant. 

But the pleading eyes of Taehyung ached you, wanting nothing more but to help him be free from his episode. You didn’t have anything you used to help him.

Then your eyes lit up at a method, one that worked every time.

“Tae—Taehyung, focus on me. Your eyes on me, okay? Can I hold your hands?” His tensed eyes landed on your solaced ones. He nodded before your hands made their way down until you grasped onto his hands tightly. The feeling of your touch soothed his fragile condition. “Do you remember that one song we learned when we were in middle school?”

“A-A song?” His lips trembled in fear.

“Yeah, let’s focus on that because I forgot how much I loved it! Do you remember it?” You smiled joyfully, scrunching your nose.

“D-Do you…mean…” He gasped as the pain pinched his heart, causing him to fall forward. But you kept his support, carrying some of his weight through your arms. You motioned him to sit down on one of the boxes. While he did so, you bent down on your knees to meet his eye level.

“I’ll start it, okay?” You told him and he couldn’t get a word out but he kept his gaze and nodded. “Okay.” You let go of one of his hands so you could snap your fingers to the beat in your mind, doing a little shoulder dance and sounding soft tickings as the introduction. You were trying to ease him away from tension.

“L is for the way you look at me,” You sang merrily as you looked at him. “Your turn.”

“O-O...is for…the only…one…I see,” He sang slower while you silently mouthed the lyrics for him to follow, but his breathing control got better. You nodded as your smile grew wider.

“You’re doing so well,” You praised. “V is very, very extraordinary,” You pointed at him and tried your best with that high note where you found his lips curling.

“E-E is even more than anyone that you adore,” He stayed on tempo, but still shaky. Yet you were so proud. He inhaled deeply and exhaled.

“All together!” You expressed. His trembling hands came back to your calming ones before you decided to lace your fingers together. You swayed your intertwined hands side to side with the unheard beat when the two of you chorused, “Can love is all that I can give to you. Love is more than just a game for two.”

“Two in love can make it,” You vocalized, while you saw his eyes weeping out more tears. You let go of him. Your thumbs reached out to wipe them off his face but kept your palms on his cheeks.

“Take my heart, and please don't break it.” Though he sang perfectly, his voice cracked with his bawling. He wrapped his hands around your wrists, holding you in place.

“Love was made for me and you,” You sang together and you motioned one more time for the ending. “Love was made...for me…and you.” You both held out the last note, but it was slightly off from Taehyung’s cries. But it was all okay because you saw that he felt a lot better and his breathing became stabilized once again.

Only the noises of his sniffing and breathing rang through your ears as your glassy eyes stayed on him, waiting for his green light. But unexpectedly, he slithered his arms around your waist and pulled you into his lap. He kept his grip tight as he buried his face into your chest. 

Your body hardened, but then felt the familiar warmth he gave out like when you were younger. Not wanting to reject him after his episode, you let it be and circled your arms around his torso. When he realized you didn’t push him away, he cried in relief. The wetness of his tears drenched your shirt, but you didn’t bother to care. You rubbed his back and rocked yourselves while humming a random tone.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Blue.” He chanted into your skin, having light hiccups in between.

“You’re fine, Hyungie. You’re good, you did so well. No more fears right now.” You hushed as his weeping remained. 

You took it all in, never having any doubts at this moment. All you wanted right now was to make all his troubles go away. It was hard, but it wasn’t impossible. And you would do them in a heartbeat because now you took the first step of having him back in your life.

Accepting him. All of him. 

Tagged: @manuosorioh @kaal-ee @stfxthv @dahliasbouqet @bertqut1 @fuckthinking @taebangtanbabe @tan-veee

#matcha masterlist #taehyung x reader #taehyung fic #taehyung fanfiction #kim taehyung x reader #taehyung smut #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #kim taehyung fanfic #kim taehyung #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts smut #bts x reader

[jesssssssssica]

juno! j.b pt.2

wc: 2.05k

school is hell. a place where people will just make fun of you for nothing, of course it doesn't matter, the people who make your life a living hell probably want to bone the life out of you.

take steve rendazo. stereotypical douchebag jock, that is constantly making fun of your every move, and yet he secretly wants you. he always wants the 'freaky girl', the ones that horned rim glasses and wear vegan shoes and use dark gothic makeup and play an instrument like the cello and wear converses and will most likely end up working at the local library. in all honestly, the jocks are the freaks.

although they'll never admit it, they're meant to be into girls like mel who incidentally is into middle aged teachers.

maths. what a strange lesson. i mean how do we know for sure that 1 +1=2!

"people! we're doing our worksheets now so pick your partners and get working!" mr matthews says, his monotone voice as dull as he looks, i really don't know what mel sees in 'men' like that.

jude comes over, his smile the same as it was when i was sat on that stupid chair on that stupid night. the smile that swept me off my feet.

“well! who’s ready to do some fun fun maths?” i say sarcastically.

of course certainly not me but let’s be honest who actually is?

“i did the prep questions for this last night.”, jude says, what a kind heart he has “you can copy my answers if you need to.”

he slides a piece of graph paper in front of me, avoiding eye contact with me.

“oh, i couldn't copy your work.”

“you copy my work every week.”

“oh yeah. i’m kind of a deadbeat partner aren’t i?”

“i don't mind though, at least you bring something to the table.”

“charisma?”

“something like that”

may and matt, that one couple that are always fighting, join us at the table, whispering aggressively at each other about god knows what.

"so, who's ready for some algebra?"

once again not me, but the tension that matt and may have created, has left me trying to be the mediator in the situation, which obviously isn't working.

"i actually have a menstrual migraine, which means i can't look at numbers today." may says, her eyes shut tight avoiding the numbers on the worksheets below her.

"may, i told you to go to the infirmary and lie down. you never listen to me." matt replies, his hands massaging his face in annoyance.

"no matt, because i don't take orders. not from you and not from any man. end of. " may says, a huff soon following from her lips.

"you know what, you've been acting like this ever since i went up to see my gran in liverpool and i've told you many times that nothing happened!" matt whisper shouts, eyes rolling back in his head.

who knew a relationship could have this much drama?

" don't lie to me, something happened. i can see it in your eyes, they're cold, very cold. cold lying eyes"

"what are you talking about? my eyes are not lying!"

"yes they are matt, they've been like that since liverpool"

if only you could see mine and judes faces, our heads constantly turning from the left to the right, like tennis spectators. we're so fascinated by a real couple's relationship.

"okay...." jude starts to say, standing slowly from his chair "i'm going to start on the second worksheets. y/n, do you want to get worksheet three from may?"

may stands up at the same time as jude stating that she's off to the infirmary.

"good." matt replies "call me when you're OFF the rag."

"fine. but you call me when you learn how to love just one person and not cheat at your brother's college just because you had four smirnoff ices and a bottle of snow peak peach flavored boone's!"

she really got him there.

"good, i'll be sure to do that, may. in fact, i'll make a note of it."

he jots down a note in his notebook.

"mmm snow peak peach is the best flavor of boone's... isn't it jude?"

his cheeks are now a scarlet red, a colour that i enjoy seeing on his beautiful face though, he continues to scribble down the answers on the worksheets.

may then finally storms off and in the corner of my eye, i see jude shake his head.

as i sit down on my bed, i examine the ad in the newspaper that reads the words 'pregnant? find the clinic that gives women the choice. women's choice health centre.'

'hm i should give them a ring.' i think as i pick up my hamburger phone and dialling the number that was printed in a nearly unreadable font.

"para instruciones en espanol, oprima numero dos." me and the voice say as i press the numbers again, only then finally hearing a voice greet me.

"yes, hello, i need to procure a hasty abortion?" i say, though all i hear on her end is static, "what was that? i'm sorry, i'm on my hamburger phone and it's kind of awkward to talk on. it's really more of a novelty than a functional appliance."

i smack my phone a couple of times, each wack harder than the one before.

"is that better? okay, there we go. anyway as I said, i need an abortion um, it was approximately two months and four days ago that I had the sex i think? i mean it's just a guestimate. okay so next saturday? okay thank you, that's great.

i hang up the phone, only then realising that adults now know i'm "sexually active".

bleugh. i hate it when adults use the term "sexually active."

i mean what does that even mean? does it mean that one day i'll deactivate or will i stay this way forever? if so then i guess jude became "active" that night.

we sit at the kitchen table, my father shovelling down whatever my step mother made for us. he then opens his mouth, still partly chewing on his food.

"you should have seen this octopus furnace that i saw today, i was so intrigued, i had to get out my hazmat suit just to get up in there."

my dad used to be in the army, but now he's just your average HVAC specialist. he and my mom got divorced when i was five and now she lives somewhere far away from me...with her new husband... and three replacement kids but she “makes it up” by sending me a cactus every single valentine’s day. 

though, they’re all in a neglected corner in my room,

i’m taken out of my thoughts by the sound of my stepmother, kelly cutting up my sisters, amy’s food. kelly always has the nicest nails i’ve ever seen probably due to her owning the town’s few nail salons, though she has a weird obsession with dogs and always smells like methyl methacrylate.

“so juno, how did your manoeuvre go last night?” my fathers voice says to me, as he points his knife towards me.

“which manoeuvre, dad? the one where i moved an entire living room set from one house to another, or the one where i downed a sixty-four ounce blue slushie in just under ten minutes?”  

“oh juno? were you the one that threw up in my urn, you know the urn by the front door, the one i got whilst in dorset? anyway i found some blue shit...” amy gasps at the swear word that comes out of kelly’s mouth “ i mean stuff, inside the urn this morning”

 i can’t deny it was me, but i do.

“ i would never barf in your urn, kelly. amy would though”

 all our heads turn to amy, who’s too busy piling up pieces of bacon onto her plate.

“amy if i see one more piece of bacon on that plate, then i’m going to call the police”

i walk to the clinic, my hands playing with the bracelet round my wrist, when i notice a protester holding a sign that reads “no babies like murdering” as she chants with a meek voice

“all babies want to get born! all babies want to get born!”

nice. and only when i get a bit closer to the clinic, do i notice that it’s not just some random person, it’s su-chin, one of my classmates. great.

“oh uh, hi su-chin”

 “oh uh hey juno. how are you?”

“i’m good... did you finish that english paper yet?”

“oh no.. not yet. i attempted it last night, but i was having trouble concentrating you know?”

“ hmm, you should try adderall, helps a lot”

su-chin shakes her head at my suggestion, though the scarf she wears around her neck, limits her mobility.

“oh no thank you. i’m off pills.”

“very wise of you. you know i know this girl who had this huge crazy freak out because of these behaviour pills. she like stripped down to her pants and jumped into the fountain just in the centre square and she was screaming stuff like ‘rahhhh! i’m the kraken! prepare to die’”

it was me but i would never tell her.

“i heard that was you.”

oh.

“well su-chin it was nice meeting you on this fine day”

i wave goodbye to su-chin, my fingers wrapping around the door handle when su-chin calls out

“y/n! did you know your baby probably has a beating heart. it can even feel pain..and it has fingernails.”

fingernails?

as i enter the room, i take in my surroundings. in the room there’s a girl in her mid twenties, sat behind a bulletproof pane of glass, her fingers tapping away on the desk in front of her. the waiting room however, is a big contrast to the mini office. while the office is small and only inhabited by one person, the waiting room is big and has at least 17 people waiting all ranging from adults, teens and the gross children that have been forced to tag along.

i walk up to the receptionist and without even letting myself be known she speaks..

“welcome to women's Choice, where women are trusted friends. please put your hands where i can see them and surrender any bombs.

i flash her my hands in a jazz-like way.

“hi. i’m im here for the big show”

she obviously doesn’t find my joke that funny as she doesn’t even batt an eye.

“your name, please?”

“y/n y/l/n.”

as i say my name she raises an eyebrow at me, yet continues to gather forms of paperwork on a clipboard.

i can tell by the way she looks at me, she thinks i’m using a fake name like fannie schmeller or ben dover. but no y/n y/l/n is real name.

she finally hands me the clipboard and pen and points to the seconds i need to fill.

“i need you to fill these out, both sides. also, please don't skip the hairy details because we need to know every score and every sore”

lovely.

as i’m about to turn to go sit down, she reaches into a jar filled to the brim by condoms and grabs a fistful offering them out to me.

“would you like some free, complimentary condoms? they're boysenberry flavoured”

“oh no thank you i would but i’m kind of off sex if you get me”

“my partner uses these every time we have intercourse,they always make his balls smell like pie.”

nice.

“congrats”

she then lets me free and i take a seat and due to being bored out of my mind i grab a random magazine that lies in the pile that’s been laid on the table. i don’t really pay attention to the words that are printed on the page, though my attention is brought back to my surroundings when i see the fingernails on everyone.

a teen who bites her nails until they’re basically nothing.

an obnoxious middle aged woman, scratching her arms rapidly.

the reception who continues to tap away.

another woman blowing on her fingernails.

fingernails everywhere.

 i can’t deal with it so i leave and just as i swing the door behind me, i hear them call my name.

a/n: sorry that there wasn’t a lot of jude! i’m trying to give him all the attention when he’s in it!

@aryraaaa i think you wanted to be tagged so i hope it lived up to your expectations!!!

#jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham angst #jude bellingham x y/n #jude bellingham #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham fluff

[starcrashx]

V.

This school wasn't different from the one that Galen attended so far. The only difference was that now he had Luke and Leia. The two took it upon themselves the big brother and big sister role although Galen was technically older than them by 3 months. When a boy wanted to make fun of him for being so skinny he could feel Leia's ten thousand yard stare drilling a hole into the bully. He was never alone because Luke always accompanied him almost everywhere. The only time he could get some alone time was when he went to the bathroom. All in all it wasn't bad and he enjoyed helping the two with homework.

"Galeeeeeen help meeee. Chemistry is killing me!"

"No! Galen help me please with algebra!"

"Why aren't you asking me for help?" frowned Anakin from across the table.

He got two judging stares from his kids.

"Come on! I'm really good at math." said Anakin.

"I can help you both so just sit down." motioned Galen.

After a good 2 hours of tutoring both of the twins got exhausted.

"Can we visit the Fett cafe please! I wanna eat the siblings special cake." whined Luke.

"Yeah sure why not. Galen was never in the cafe anyways." said Anakin.

The twins seemed to gain back their energies and sprinted out the door while yelling shotgun. Galen followed suit and got in the car. The ride wasn't long but it was sure loud. When they set foot in the store a familiar face greeted them.

"How is our favourite family?" asked Fives with a grin on his face.

"Hi Fives, Echo, Cody and Rex. We are fine thanks for asking. How is the business going?" said Anakin and shook hands with Fives and Echo who apparently were the waiters at the place.

Cody poked his head out of the back and Rex was at the cash machine.

"As busy as it gets. We had to bring in some helpers." smiled Cody and stepped out of the door, reviling two more family members.

"These are our cousins. Just call them Waxer and Boil."

"Nice to meet you!" smiled Waxer.

"We heard a lot about you guys." greeted Boil.

Anakin started chatting with Rex while Waxer took over the cash machine. Fives led the kids to an empty table and asked what they wanted. Leia requested a slice of matcha latte cake with lemonade. Luke asked for a slice of that super special cake with hot chocolate. Galen was a little lost between the selection.

"I think...a slice of vanilla cake will do." muttered Galen.

His social skills were better now with the ones he already knew but it was still far from perfect.

"But that's what you had for the welcome party too!" objected Luke.

"Let him have what he wants Luke!" scolded Leia.

"I know. But that's the only kind of cake I'm familiar with." replied Galen.

"Can I make a suggestion then?" asked Echo who popped out of nowhere.

Galen nodded.

"Do you like fruit Galen?"

Another nod.

"Then try strawberry cake! It's still a basic cake and it has vanilla cream in it too with white chocolate."

"Okay." said Galen and nodded at Fives.

For something to drink he simply wanted water. What can he say, he was a man of simple things. While waiting for their order Anakin found his way back to the kids because Cody accused him of holding up Rex.

"So how is school? Everything alright?" asked the father of the three.

"Good. Except that the Solo kid is around Leia again." said Luke and made a face.

His twin rolled her eyes.

"It's none of your business!"

"Well he knows the rules." said Anakin plainly.

"He didn't speak to me for two weeks because you scared him too much dad! Besides it's nothing, he is just a friend!" said Leia who was clearly annoyed by the topic.

"Han and Leia sitting on a tree-" started Luke but couldn't finish because Leia practically jumped at him from across the table.

Galen watches the chaos unfold he knew better than to interfere. So Anakin had to save his son from getting choked to death. After this Galen will have to find a silent corner of the house to read. His social battery is being drained right now.

"No killing Leia! And Luke, don't provoke your sister because if she gets really angry even god won't be able to save you!"

Galen snickered at that because it was true. However that caught the attention of the other three. Great. He can deal with this.

"What about you Galen? How is school?" asked Anakin.

"Well...not that bad. I mean...yeah it's fine." said Galen while debating if he should mention the fact that people pick on him sometimes or not.

"I like being with Luke and Leia. And I got a good mark in history."

Anakin smiled.

"That's great! I'm relieved that everything is fine then."

Leia and Luke looked at eachother and then back to Galen. But they couldn't question the missing information since Fives came back with the orders. Anakin got coffee and some chocolate cake. It was his regular order at the cafe. After the little dessert the kids went out to the car while Anakin was saying his goodbyes to the Fetts. Galen had to admit Echo's recommendation was good, a little too sweet for his taste but still fantastic. Leia approached him with a concerned look on her face.

"Why didn't you tell dad that some guys pick on you?"

"It's not a big deal. They just say some mean stuff. I'm used to it." said Galen dismissively.

And it was true he was used to this kind of thing. In his old school they used to pick on him for being weird and poor. Nothing new.

"Well we can deal with it for now right Leia?" said Luke confidently.

"I know I just don't want this to get any worse than it already is." said Leia.

"I will kick their tailpipes if they are mean to Galen again." offered Luke.

"That's...not necessary Luke but thank you. Both of you. I appreciate it." said Galen as he watched Anakin wave his last goodbye.

×⭐×

"Hold your sword like this." said Anakin and showed Galen how to hold his fake sword correctly.

The boy decided to try fencing. It could be a great topic between him and his new family. Obi-wan was practicing with Luke while Anakin was teaching Galen the basics. When the taller boy looked at his adoptive brother he couldn't help but get amazed by how good he is with a sword. But the same goes for the older members of the family. Ahsoka just spared with Anakin to put up a good show for her nephew.

"I'm going to have a contest tomorrow." said Ahsoka while watching Galen take some practice swings.

"And you will absolutely destroy the competition." smiled Obi-wan.

"Nah. Not this time. Barriss is also competing." said Ahsoka with a sad smile.

"That little! After all what she has done they still allow her to compete?" fumed Anakin.

"Yeah! She should be banned." agreed Luke which resulted in a playful smack from Obi-wan.

Galen glanced back and forth between Ahsoka and Anakin, looking for answers. In the end Ahsoka sighed, signaling that she gave in to her nephew's curiosity.

"Barriss Offee was my friend in high school. Her mom and Obi-wan were friends so we saw each other a lot. Barriss's mom was one of the judges of the Fencing Competition Committee so she also practiced fencing. So we started competing against each other and well..." trailed of Ahsoka so Anakin continued the story.

"Barriss became jealous of Ahsoka since she always was ahead of her and won most of their encounters. At the Fencing Championship they got paired against each other once again. Ahsoka won fair and square and when she turned her back Barriss charged at her and injured Ahsoka's leg. She was unable to continue the competition due to that injury and she had to be taken to a hospital. I thought Barriss was banned from competing."

"Maybe her mother lifted the ban." said Luke.

Obi-wan shook his head.

"Impossible. Luminara would never do such a thing. Even for her daughter."

"Then someone else did it." said Anakin.

"We will never know since someone was too lazy to attend meetings." pointed fingers Ahsoka.

Obi-wan made a dramatic sigh.

"Ahsoka Tano Skywalker Kenobi how dare you!"

Galen snorted and looked at Ahsoka. She signaled that of course that wasn't her real full name.

"What? It's true! I bet it's the new teacher that demanded all your attention." laughed Ahsoka, completely forgetting Barriss.

"You! Miss. Satine has nothing to do with this!"

"Obi-wan teaches history at Coruscant University. Miss. Kryze is the new politics professor." whispered Luke to Galen.

"He's a teacher? It kinda suits him actually." answered back the taller boy.

"Satine and Obi are sitting on a tree!"

"Agh what are you, five?"

"Déjà vu." sighed Galen.

"You are both five." said Anakin.

The two glared at him.

"I don't want to hear that from you Anakin "would it be fine to microwave the spoon too" Skywalker." argued Obi-wan.

"Yeah! Stay in your own lane Anakin "building a rocket to a car is a good idea" Skywalker!" said Ahsoka.

"You guys did not just go there!"

"Oh but we did!"

"They are supposed to be adults right?" asked Galen.

"I like your wording. Supposed to be. But they are literally sharing two brain cells." laughed Luke.

"At least Ahsoka isn't sad anymore." murmured Galen.

"Yeah. You could say anything to this family but you cannot say that we don't care about each other. We got everyone's back. And now yours too Galen." smiled Luke.

And for the first time in his life, Galen felt like he belonged somewhere.

#star wars #galen marek #leia organa #luke skywalker #starkiller #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #captain rex #commander cody #ahsoka #ashoka tano

[bicycle4two]

short fic starring jason and his little mouse from built to love, but broken now

find more ficlets of this couple here

College Days

College.

You’ve never really given it much thought. You’d been editing videos since high school, have made a decent income from it, and never really thought of pursuing anything else. It also helps that although your parents never really cared for you, at least not in the ways that you needed, they had left you enough money to be able to manage on your own for a few years, even with the hefty hospital bills.

So, further education has never been on your mind, didn’t seem like a priority with how your life has been going so far.

But Jason, surprisingly, wanted to go, brought it up over dinner one night before he went out for patrol.

“What do you think about English Lit, mouse?” He had asked as he pushed his food around with his fork.

“Like, as a subject?”

“Well, yeah, like, what do you think if I take it up when the new term starts at Gotham U?”

“I, really, Jason? You want to go?”

“I always liked reading, books, discussing them with Alfred. So, I figured, why not?”

“But do you need to go to college for that? You can, like, sign up for a book club at the library or something.”

There’s a light blush on Jason’s cheeks and he tries to hide it with his hand, tries to play it off. He’s embarrassed. “It’s not just books. I liked school.”

“Well, then sure. I think English Lit is a good course for you to take up.”

“Why don’t you go with me?”

“I, I can’t afford the tuition, Jason.” Now you were playing around with your food, finding it easier to look at than Jason. You could see that he was excited, that this is something he wanted for the both of you.

“So, apply for a scholarship. Hell, we have money. It’s no big deal.”

“No, you have money.”

“Mouse. If you want to go, I’ll make sure it happens.”

So, college. It’s an interesting idea. You think that more than teaching you things that you can learn on the internet anyway, it’s the experience that you want to have. High school was rough, but you think that being on the same campus as Jason might be interesting. You’d at least have a friend to have lunch with.

It’s just, do you really want to take up math again? It seems like it’s an unavoidable subject, that all courses have to at least have the basic units. Algebra and Statistics. And you think, is going back to school really worth it?

“I can help you. You’re not going in this alone.” Jason laughs in that airy chuckle like way of his, more like an amused puff of air, when he sees you sort through different course pamphlets. Rather than ranking them by genuine interest, you were tossing out the courses that required more than two math units, the minimum.

“You’ll have other things to worry about, Jason. You’ll have your own classes, patrol, you can’t just drop everything and tutor me.”

“This is supposed to be fun, mouse.”

“I just don’t want to fail.”

“You’re not going to,” Jason says confidently. He’s been getting more and more comfortable with the idea of going back to school by the day. He’s looked up past syllabuses online, looked into forums where students discussed the best teachers for each subject. “But even if you do, it’s alright. We’re there to learn. It’s not like you’re gunning for a desk job after, right? You’re settled here. Just choose something that’s interesting.”

“I did always want to try art.”

“There you go! And look, only two units of math!”

“Ugh. You better make time for me in your schedule. I’m going to need all the help I can get.”

“I’ll always have time for you.”

...

a/n: inspired by the fact that jason loves books and i genuinely think (and i’m pretty sure i’ve seen discussions about it somewhere with actual proof) that jason’s a nerd and did enjoy school

also i’m just projecting my own frustrations with going back to school and math here. i’ve graduated years ago but still stick to the fact that if i didn’t have to take math ever again, i’d go back.

#ficlet #oneshot #jason todd one shot #jason todd imagine #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #arkhamverse #arkham knight #arkham knight jason todd #short fic

[idiots-at-sonobeno-high]

Question for Joe!!

How’s School being going? What’s your favorite subject and least favorite subject?

"Ooh, my first question," Joe happily said as he tilted his head up, numerous strands of his brown hair brushing against his covered shoulders with the faster movement. The teenager's chocolate brown colored eyes found a spot in front of him, but after a few seconds, he glanced away, suddenly feeling just the slightest bit embarrassed, though he hoped it wasn't noticeable. Talking about how he was doing in school wasn't really his favorite thing to do, but it'd be rude not to answer, right?

"Umm… School's pretty good! I get to spend time with Sara, so there's no way it'd be bad, ya know…?" Although he was trying to sound positive, a bit of hesitance resided in his words. For whatever reason, he swallowed. "If ya wanna know my grades though, that part is… super secret. I can't spill!" Even if he seemed to hesitate once again, he let out a laugh, pausing for a moment as if he were buried in thought as he moved away from the topic. The next thing he needed to mention was school subjects, which weren't something he considered often.

"Hmm…" Joe hummed, letting the soft sound fill the space around him. For a few seconds he stayed that way, just humming as he moved his lips around almost dramatically to show that he was thinking, but soon enough, his body seemed to jolt and he raised one of his freckled hands up, his pointer finger aiming towards the sky. "Wait! I got it!" Looking back ahead of him, he spoke again, slowly allowing his hand to fall.

"First off, my favorite school subject! Band is super fun, and so is PE, but if you're asking me to stick to the basics, my favorite subject would probably be Spanish? I think? I don't know how it works in other places, but we get to choose whatever other language we get to focus on. Just don't ask me how to say that in Spanish, 'kay?" Joe smiled, but unlike last time, he didn't take a long time to think.

"Next is my least favorite subject. This one is pretty easy." The dog lover seemed to shiver, his lips falling into a thin line as he stated, "Math. Call it typical or whatever, but I fully believe that algebra is the worst thing in the entire world and I should not have to remember so many equations when I'm tired." He smiled again, his face brightening as he put his hand on one of his cheeks. "Sara helps, though! I don't know what I would do without them, y'know? She's pretty great. Oh, uh- I'm getting distracted, huh? Anyways, thank ya for asking! Hopefully everything isn't too bad over there."

#joe tazuna #joe answers! #sonobeno asks! #vee writes.

[madlad-sadgal]

I don't know if I'm the only one who does this, but any time I feel a bit down, I try making a list of things that are going good in my life, or that make me happy, or changes I've made in my life that are helping me. That's what happened today, so I started on my list. Thought I might share to see if this helps anyone, and also I just feel like sharing positivity is good, so enjoy these few things I find that are going good in my life!

I've been going on more walks, trying to go on one everyday. I've been trying to get more exercise in, but I despise the gym and training apps are not for me. Walks was my best option, and it's honestly really enjoyable! They're not consistent, sometimes late at night, early in the morning, or in the middle of the afternoon. They can go from 15 minutes to an hour, and I might bring music or just go out and enjoy nature. It all depends on how I feel that day, and they're honestly a great way to get my mind off things and clear my head.

I've been spending more time with my friends and family. I play board games with my parents every weekend, and me and my friends have been getting the whole friend group together once a month. It doesn't matter if we're just chatting, playing silly games, or screaming our lungs out doing karaoke in the garage, it's nice to have one night where I can just lean back and enjoy everyone's presence!

I'm starting to spend more time engaging in my hobbies or activities I like to do. This includes reading and writing, playing card games (specifically those, I love card games), journaling, and a bunch of other stuff. I also have this thing where I, like, genuinely enjoy math? Like I'll go online and print out a sheet of random equations (algebra or multiplication for example) and just go through it. It's a nice little challenge and it keeps my brain running, as well as distracts me from my never-ending thoughts for a few moments.

I managed to find time to catch up on a bunch of series I've wanted to watch for so long!

I recently went through some of my old "Memory Boxes" and just spent a whole day recalling a bunch of stuff I did when I was young, like art projects or old pictures of me and my friends at a birthday party. That was nice. Nostalgic, but nice.

My best friend's in Mexico right now, and although it's kind sad since I've known her for 10 years and we've gotten used to seeing each other almost every day, the pictures she sends me are stunning and every night we text for almost an hour just talking about the culture and history, and it's just fun learning a bunch of new stuff

There's most definitely a lot more, but this is what I came up with today, and it managed to boost my mood! Also just felt like spreading a bit of positivity, so yeah.

Buh-bye!

#positivity #be kind to yourself #random #madlad-sadgal

[jevilowo]

Hey guys read this edgy fucking story i wrote when i was 12

---line break---

"Write About Secrets". Ha. I'm willing to bet that the entire class will write some ridiculous story about their cutesy "I stole a cookie out of the cookie jar" experiences. As will I, obviously. If anyone knew my real secret...

On the outside, I look sweet and innocent with chocolatey curls, frilly socks, a frilly dress and a huge pink and yellow bow perched on the top of my head, no matter what else I'm wearing.

My father, a rich businessman, nicknamed me Angel, as did my Mother. So did my finicky Grandmama, although she would frequently announce that I would "Look cuter blonde". The last time we went to stay with her, she dyed my hair platinum blonde as I slept. It looked ridiculous.

A week later, she sadly passed away. Dysentery, the doctors said. No one noticed the now empty bottle of rat poison in the back of the cupboard. Grandmama's house always had a rodent problem. Luckily, I took care of the biggest rat. Her.

My father is, as I already mentioned, a rich businessman. Well, he was before he was arrested. My mother never liked him much. She said he was a conning badword badword. I quite agreed.

He was boisterous, loud and never let Mother and I do anything remotely fun. Our holidays were spent cooped up in beach villas, never allowed to leave. And although mother denies it, I am almost entirely sure that he was cheating on her to a famous supermodel lady.

Father's main weakness was his tendency to throttle people who called him or his business idiotic. I learned this when I was two, when one of his his co-workers told him that his plan to expand the business was idiotic. Not bad for an earliest memory.

One night I said: "Daddy, dearest?" (Father likes me to call him that) "please could you explain this maths homework to me?" (It was "advanced" algebra I swiped from someone's backpack. Wasn't even remotely difficult.) "Unless, of course, you're to busy working on that IDIOTIC business of yours".

Predictibly, Father lunged across the table and tried to strangle me, à la Homer Simpson. For a second I thought: "Is this going too far?" But then I thought: "Nah". I squealed girlishly, and mother came rushing in. She took one look at what was happening, grabbed her phone and dialed 999.

A week and an overcomplicated court case later, Father was in jail for child abuse, and it was discovered Mother was right about the whole "conning badword badword" thing. The judge found out that he was conning his clients. I'll spare you the details. Mother remarried, and now I have a rich, handsome lawyer as a stepfather.

9 months later, I had a new baby brother. "Oh look at cute little baby Bobby!", the neighbours gushed. "Oh, isn't he adorable? I heard he has a sister? Eh, who cares. Ain't he the sweetest?" It was sickening, I tell you. Sadly, he died a month later.

They think him rolled over in his sleep and got his head stuck between two pillows and suffocated. "Did you hear what happened with little baby Bobby? The poor little mite! Not to mention his sister. She's wept buckets, apparently. Oh, the poor little girl!"

Buckets? More like teaspoons. Crocodile tears. Like the cartoon crocodile on the pillow I used to smother him. Dead babies tell no lies. Or truths, for that matter.

Rich handsome lawyer stepfather man had a ridiculously large family. Which can only mean one thing: ridiculously large family gatherings. Roughly once a month, sometimes more, the whole family got together and do foolish things, such as singing competitions.

His sister, my new Aunt Ruth was especially obsessed with these. Every single time, she did about five diffent song and dance routines and expected the rest of the family to adore them. Well, they may have, but I never did. A few months after the death of my baby stepbrother, she decided it would be a "wonderful idea" to make all of us do a musical together, namely Annie. And guess who had to play the titular character?

She had cast herself as one of the main adult parts, Miss Hannigan, which meant she had a melodramatic solo song. It was during this that fortunately, I mean sadly, her routine was interrupted when she got hit by a stray falling light.

Little Orphan Annie was luckily in the bathroom during this, so she didn't witness this happening. It was lucky everyone forgot the "don't leave the wings during performances" rule. It was luckier that I cut the right rope. I can never tell stage left from stage right...

These "little accidents" probably would have continued, but I read mother's diary. She thinks she's cursed, so I decided no more "accidents". At least in the (step) family...

School was, and still is the worst. I have to deal with ditsy cutesy little girls who actually want to be my friend. The worst of these was the dreaded Anastasia Bettina Cordelia Daye. She wanted to be my "bestie" and it is sickening how hard she tried. I swear, she once filled my lunch box with glitter and ruined my cavier! What a waste of perfectly decent fish eggs.

One day I pulled a risky move and while we were all crashing down the school steps (very undignified) I crept behind Phillipa Nevaeh and shoved. Guess who she collided with and sent flying down the steps?

Anastasia Bettina Cordelia Daye died from blood loss due to the huge crack in her head in the hospital a while later. They were too late to save her. Her last words, croaked in the hospital bed were: "tell...... bestie........." She never finished the sentence. Everyone assumed she meant me, so I had to act twice as sad, which is harder than it looks.

Did I regret a thing? Well to that I say:

is glitter poured all over one's cavier forgivable? In case you are a complete and utter imbocile (likely), the answer is no.

My teacher, Mr. Dickory was especially miserable about this. Mainly because

Anastasia Bettina Cordelia Daye was his favourite student, hands down. He kept trying to "talk to me" about her death and how we were dealing with it.

He also complained about my bow and told me to politely remove it every time we made eye contact. This was excessively annoying as I need it for my "sweet and innocent" ploy.

Also, he made me do art which is a complete and utter wate of time, although every single time I brought that up he would say: "you cannae be gud at eve' thing, lass" (by the way, he was Scottish). I took offense at that because that is definitely not the reason I hate art so much.

Mr. Dickory had motorbike, of which he was extremely proud, mainly because it was Scottish, like him. One sad, fateful day he crashed the blasted thing into a wall, when he was driving home from the school.

He was sadly paralysed from the waist down. He will never walk again, let alone teach seven year old girls. No one seemed to notice the torn up engine wires. Everyone seemed to believe that my blackened hands were the product of a leaky pen.

After these incidents, mother insisted on pulling me out of school. She believed that the school was jinxed. I pitied her rather, and resolved to stop the...ah, accidents. For real this time. Never again.

Not long after this incident, rich handsome lawyer stepfather man dragged us off to another family gathering. Personally, I'm surprised it went ahead after what happened to Aunt Ruth. Now would be a good time to mention my cousins.

Due to the whole "large family" thing, I now have fifty-six cousins, plus the one or two on my biological father's side. Some of them, I must admit, aren't too bad. Others are pains in the derriére. Some of them are just plain weird. But none are as bad as the Twins of Terror. (By the way, I did NOT come up with the name "Twins of Terror". It is a TERRIBLE name.)

The twins, Darren and James, were, and still remain, the absolute WORST people I have ever had the "pleasure" of meeting. They lied, they bullied, they stole... and don't get me started on the swearing. Worst of all, they decided that I -out of all the slightly insane people in the family- was a good target for all of this. Something about my "18th Century Lingo" and my "Like, Super Lame Outfit". Offence is taken.

Alas, nothing could be done as all the adults believed that "Darren, Darling" and "Jamie-Wamie" were nothing but kind, sweet, innocent and pure twelve year boys. And I SWORE to never again... you know. So nothing happened to the twins. Life continued.

The final straw came at the earlier mentioned family gathering. It was 20% quieter without Aunt Ruth. Slightly less chance of my eardrums bleeding.

To my dismay, the twins hadn't spontaneously combusted on the long journey to Step-Grandmama's mansion. They cornered me on my way back from the bathroom, going on about my "conning badword badword jailbird badword" father. I pretended to actually care, in the hope they would get bored and leave.

But then they started on Mother. .

They called her many, many unspeakable things, even stooping so low as to accuse her of the death of Grandmama and Aunt Ruth and the arrest of Father! How dare they?! She was my only solace in this crazy world! I could NOT let them get away with this.

That night, I staged my most elaborate scheme yet. I knew they would enter the huge kitchens, searching for a midnight feast at around two a.m. because I knew for a fact that they did that every night. I lay in wait under a table, with two knives, an onion and a scrap of paper.

Sure enough, my prediction was correct. The twins entered at 2:06 a.m., and started rooting around in the one of the many cupboards.

I pounced.

Darren. And then James. Two clean strikes of the knives, and my job was done.

I sliced the onions under their eyes, so their dying breaths were mingled with tears. Also to make the scene more realistic.

I gently pushed the first knife into the gaping hole in Darren's chest, and did the same with the second knife and James. I positioned their hands on their respective knives, so it looked like they were each stabbing themselves.

As if they were both committing suicide.

I left the scrap of paper- a fake suicide note- lying between their lifeless bodies and slipped back upstairs to my guest bedroom.

I was awoken three hours later, by a scream. I assumed this meant that the bodies were found. I pulled on my dressing gown and ran out, pretending to be confused and scared as the entire family barrelled downstairs like a herd of wild buffalos (except me. I trotted daintily).

The scream had come from an obviously terrified kitchen maid (yes, Step-Grandmama had kitchen maids). The maid silently pointed at the bodies, which by now were starting to smell a bit. Everyone was silent for a second. Then there was UPROAR.

I don't exactly remember what happened next. There was a lot of screaming and crying. I think I pretended to faint because the next thing I knew, I was sitting up on a couch, being gently told that my cousins were dead.

The suicide note must have not been convincing enough, as the police were called in that afternoon. Luckily, they didn't think to interview me. But they suspected Mother.

Why? Because APPARENTLY my (step) Aunt Janice (the twins' mother) had heard the twins accuse Mother of murder, and decided that Mother killed the "Little Darlings" either to silence them, or for revenge in suspecting her.

I think I pretended to faint again. When I woke up on the couch (again) I decided that I absolutely had to do something. Mother doesn't deserve punishment for my crimes! She is probably the only person in the entire universe who doesn't. That night I came up with a plan, which I went downstairs to carry out at 4 a.m.

The next morning, I scribbled up a confession, shoved some chocolate and a knife into my pocket and went downstairs, praying my plan would work. I requested an audience with the police officers and my (step) family in one of the many living rooms.

I confessed to my crimes.

Just kidding!

I announced that I had found one of the kitchen maids, dead on the kitchen floor next to a note confessing to killing the twins. There was a bullet hole in her chest, and a gun clasped loosely in her hands. Everyone rushed to the kitchens, to see if this was true.

In the confusion, I darted up to mother and rich handsome lawyer stepfather man's guest room. I tucked the confession note into Mother's diary and threw myself out of the window. I landed softly in a bush and ran away.

I ran because I knew that the Police would start to get suspicious of me when they heard of the incedents that had happened in my school. I was almost sad that I had put mother through so much, but hopefully she would have another child with rich handsome lawyer stepfather man and forget about me. Sadly, I never found out if this was true.

I escaped to the docks and smuggled myself onto a ferry. Where I ended up, I'm not telling you. I will tell you, however, that I cut off most of my hair with the knife, stained my pink frilly dress with mud and abandoned my socks, shoes and bow. Some orphanage people found me and took me in. A year and a half later, I was adopted.

I was adopted exactly three years and two murders ago and I am writing this, aged eleven in a stuffy classroom. If any of this information ever got out, God knows what could happen.

But before I go and write about stealing cookies from the jar, here's a warning: I could be anyone.

Your neighbour, your cousin, even your best friend.

Be careful what you do.

Be careful what you say.

You never know.

You could be my next victim...

FIN

#i want to apologize #for the overabundance of edginess #but to be fair #i was 12

[luxxxe-haze]

So,

Our vacation was pretty fucking killer. We started out in San Diego and we stayed with a friend of mine that I've known for 16 years and hadn't seen in at least 10. The weather literally almost brought me to tears because I realized that for the entire 8 days we were gonna be in the state that I wasn't going to be melting. After 3 days there, we drove PCH all the way down to where I used to live and then to our air bnb, which was literally a short bus. Although small, it proved to be very cozy and we had a fun time trying to shower in the narrow-ass bathroom. We ate so much damn pizza hahaha... once at a deep dish place before we went to the county fair and the other off of Hollywood Blvd. I got to see the Chinese Theater and the Walk of Fame. No California vacation would be complete without going to the beach a couple of times and we were able to go to 2. We visited with family; my brother and husband got to bond and my grandma finally met my husband (bc I hadn't seen her since he and I had first started dating and she couldn't make it out here when we got married). We visited a couple of record stores, including Dr. Strange. I also THREW UP ALL OVER THE RENTAL CAR on the way back :) which was a ton of fun to try to clean so we wouldn't get dinged with a cleaning fee.

Now, back to reality...

I started school on Tuesday. I swear to god that I just try not to give myself any free time and then wonder why I go nuts when I get overwhelmed and overstimulated. I'm taking college algebra so I'm already over here trying to map out time to go to the math lab because math is my worst subject and I literally cannot afford to fail (bc then they'll take away my financial aid :) ). On top of that, I've been batting around the idea of getting a second part-time job so I can make some extra $... bc life is expensive. I still wanna try to read 20 books before the end of the year (I've read 8), and of course, I want to keep up my gym routine (even if I've been kinda spotty with it since we went on vacation). Somewhere in there, I have to fit in working at my current job, cooking food, cleaning my house, sleeping...

Sometimes, I just wonder why my brain insists on being so difficult.

[lunarmote]

ADHD Diaries: pt. 2

Primary school memories.

The second in a series of processing my life in an attempt to come to terms with my ADHD diagnosis. You can read part 1 here.

Elementary school

I was a "gifted" kid. In order to be placed into the gifted class I had to take an IQ test and I scored in the 98th percentile.

The tests were fun but I hated being in the gifted class. I felt like I was surrounded by outgoing and competitive kids who were always "on;" always demonstrating their smarts, commanding attention. By comparison I was selectively mute, shy, obedient, self-blaming to a fault. Also dreamily inquisitive.

My pencil pouch was always a mess, filled with torn fragments of notes, Ticonderoga pencils without tips, crayons with unraveled wrappers. My desk was always a mess; I'd store half-read library books in there and forget about them. Although never a kid who got detention, I was that kid who the teacher would take aside during silent reading time to lecture about my "messy desk."

I zoned out frequently, leading me to be cold-called and stared at by the other kids. Somehow there is no shame attached to these memories; they have a featherweight quality to them, almost like I wasn't really embodied during those times, like I was floating above the classroom and just watching.

Middle school

At the end of 5th grade we had a math placement and despite scoring among the highest in the class, the teacher placed me in the lower math class. From what I can gather from my mom, this was due to organizational issues and the belief that I "wouldn't be able to keep up." It probably had something to do with not turning my homework in or being late.

I wish I'd gone back to demand an explanation, to request behavioral accommodations, because at the time I was not aware of the cumulative ramifications of poor executive functioning. I wish the teacher could have foreseen that I'd have problems in high school. But the teachers didn’t interfere except for that one placement, and it sent me the message that I could do the math and somehow end up in a “bad” class. The only explanation had to be that I was bad... can you see the beginnings of learned helplessness?

Being placed in lower math sucked. It came so easy to me and I didn't study, which exacerbated my habit of relying on IQ and leaving things till last minute. My friends would always ask me for help. I learned nothing in the class, yet when my dad demanded to see administration he was told that I was "where I belonged."

Pretty soon my dad got really sick, and my parents stopped being aware of my academics.

I'm only feeling the anger now, seeing an old journal entry of mine in which I wrote that my favorite subject was math and I wanted to be a math teacher. But back then I was kind of detached, obedient, didn't have a competitive spirit - I thought mistakenly that teachers knew best and I was making A's in the class, so why should it be any different...

High school

End of 8th grade (Algebra I), another math placement. Again, I was placed into the lower class. In 7th grade I had been a teacher's pet, but now I was in the lower class, still breezing through the material, being bored. In 8th I had been the tutor of my table group who always got nominated to do problems on the white board, but now I was in the lower class again.

I didn’t understand why I kept getting placed into classes where I was excelling but couldn’t make progress because I was trapped by teachers telling me I was where I belonged. 

9th grade Geometry was a requirement at my school. It was full of sophomores and juniors who had flunked multiple times and were there for a passing grade. Once they figured out I was the "smart" one, they bullied me into tutoring them (aka offering a play-by-play) of all the proofs.

I got so tired of the compounded stress that I dropped out of Math. I associated it with a feeling of low self-esteem and futility. Why would I try to demonstrate my knowledge, knowing that placement depended on some magical variable which was never in my favor?

Depression hit. I was doing well in Chem, but the emphasis on protocol and random binder checks made me anxious. I was pulling my weight in English, mostly. History was filled with... again more binder checks, self-directed projects, and an ungenerous TA. It was all procedure, procedure to me - things I couldn’t keep up with. Even my “normal” friends had trouble, but they got through with it.

Chem at our school was a notoriously ... hostile department. We had two teachers who were pedants about protocol, openly shamed shy students for not participating, and expected unqualified memorization of the periodic table. I didn't really like the class and went to my guidance counselor about it and was told "your problems are all in your head. I'll set you up so you can speak to your teacher one-on-one."

You may think I'm just exaggerating with all this, or that the obvious solution was to grow a thicker skin. In reality, high school really is a terrible period for many people. But my point of only mentioning academics here, is to draw attention to the fact that NONE of my problems with school were due to bad grades, not understanding the material, defiance to authority, tardiness, or picking fights with other students - and that if ANY teacher had suspected my “zoning out” and “disorganization” were the symptoms of a deeper root cause, I wouldn’t have taken the detour that was the next 4 years of my life.

It's hard for me to type this. Within two years I'd gone from an imaginative and optimistic (albeit timid) adolescent to someone who was barely staying afloat. I didn’t feel like I had any agency. Every day, I was shuffled from class to class in a state of helplessness. At home, I spent all my time drawing in my room and chatting with people on tumblr.

Knowing what I do now, what are some interventions that teachers/TA’s/my parents could’ve taken?

Do not shame shy students. Esp. because when they try, they are more likely to stutter or make social blips. Forging an associative link between messing up and being ridiculed is one of the most traumatizing things you can do to your shy students.

(In particular, some of the worst classroom policies I've encountered: keeping a student on the end of interrogation when they get the question wrong. You know it's fucking awkward when even the class clown stays quiet and the classroom is vibrating with vicarious embarrassment)

Be able to distinguish shyness from disinterest. What the fuck. I'm still bewildered that for all my classroom status, high test scores, and correct answers when called on and punctuality, I was labeled as someone who didn't care about school.

Find some way to support the struggling students that does not drag the "gifted" ones down - I'm insistent that the reason why nobody gave a crap about my struggles was that they didn't see my needs as important.

Being that middle/high school are still hand-holdy, be more attentive to the reasons why an ordinarily good student may be failing. Instigate binder checks and keep protocol, whatever, but don’t fail a student ON THE BASIS OF A BINDER CHECK. At the very least, not before talking to them about it, and telling them why organization will help them.

Part 3 will probably be on ADHD in women and girls.

#adhd #diary #personal

[onlinesupertutors]

13 Steps For The Best Summer Homeschool Experience

With summer here and kids at home, creating your own home-school curriculum is a great way to make up for lost time and get your child’s education back on track.

Our intent with this article is to provide an introduction of sorts, giving some ideas on how to create a curriculum that will work for your family and child(ren). This isn’t going to be the only strategy you need but it certainly helps you with creating a custom learning plan that works for any person in the household.

We have tried to remove all confusing terminology so even those new to home-schooling will succeed in creating their own custom plan. We also encourage you to explore other resources as well as discover what works best for you and your family.

Here We Go!

1.  Know Thy Student(s)

Developing a good home-school curriculum means knowing your students, what they know and don’t know, their weaknesses and their strengths.   The most important thing you can do is spend time with each child learning about them individually for this will allow you to create a custom plan that works best for them – regardless of grade level or age.

You may learn that one child needs lots of hands-on work while another prefers more independent reading or writing assignments. These are things you need to discover over time because creating an individualised curriculum is the only way a home-school plan will bring maximum reward.

2.   Set A Schedule And Stick With It

Once you know who you’re teaching, create a schedule to fairly accommodate both their needs and your availability. Since everyone learns differently, setting aside time to meet each child’s individual learning style is essential. Equally important, is following that schedule every day throughout the year. It may be difficult at first, but eventually, set times for lessons during the school year will become habitual. In this way, you’ll know exactly when things need to get done without having to think about it too much. Once your routine becomes comfortable, stay with it from year-to-year, child-to-child. This consistency will make your life easier in more ways than one!

3.  Find What Works For Your Family And The School

Since school schedules are different for everyone, pick a style that best suits your family. Try to match the academic subjects learnt at school along with the extra-curricular ones. Develop a combination of hands-on activities with independent work. Once you have decided upon a balanced schedule, create an atmosphere that is efficient, organized and pleasant – making this time something the whole family can benefit from.

You can find out more on how to create a perfect study environment in our article here.

You may find it helpful to include some prepared worksheets to pass the time between subjects, or when students find it difficult to motivate themselves for independent study. These could be colouring sheets, spelling, vocabulary and maths exercises to complete, etc.  Don’t forget to add in some fun – although this is still school work, it should be enjoyable for the students, no matter their age.

4.  Build On What Your Child Already Knows

Just because he or she is in Year 4 / 3rd grade doesn’t mean you have to start from scratch for that year group. They may have already had an introduction to algebra or pre-algebra or whatever subject you’re thinking of teaching.    You don’t necessarily need to re-do lessons they learned in previous years but it is highly beneficial to make them available for review if needed. This gives both you and your student(s) a chance to brush up on things they may not remember as well. There’s no sense in wasting valuable time when there is already a foundation in place!

5.  Allow Time For Projects And Activities

For younger children it’s important to include some free-time during the school day, allowing them to work on any activity they choose or to simply doodle or be independently creative while they wait for their next lesson.

For older kids you may find it beneficial to let them work independently more often than not. This means letting go of the reins and giving them some freedom with regards to their educational choices. While this may seem risky at first, your student(s) will benefit much more from self-motivated learning – so consider letting them take ownership of their education by researching topics they are interested in learning about themselves.

6.  Keep A Record Of Daily Activities And Progress

Have each student create a binder (or several binders – one per subject) where they can keep all of their work organized together. This is helpful not only for easy access during lessons but also serves as a good study guide after completing exams.   

Knowing where to find things is often more useful than the lessons themselves so develop this habit early on.

7.  Let Technology Aid You

Technology is everywhere these days and it can be a wonderful learning tool when used correctly. Take advantage of technology wherever possible: there are many home-schooling websites that offer activities, interactive lessons and much more online. Some even provide lesson plans making it easy for both you and your student(s) to access materials from the comfort of your own home!

At Online Super Tutors, we have a wealth of study materials – both prepared by the team in-house, as well as links to a whole host of others. Contact us for more information!

8.  Let Nature Teach

One of the most beautiful things about nature is that it’s all around us; you simply have to get outside to learn its secrets! There are so many things children can observe and discover when they get out of the house – and there is no better season than summer to make the most of this.  

Allow your child(ren) time to explore their surroundings with little supervision (expect accidents, of course!) – this will foster creativity, curiosity and confidence. Maybe there’s a trip in store for an afternoon? Why not let the kids plan it? This builds independence and gives them a sense of what it means to be in control in certain areas of their education and lives on the whole too.

9.  Take Advantage Of Learning Opportunities

Teach your students about responsibility by letting them sign up for volunteer work at a local nursing home or animal shelter. Not only will they learn about what it means to give back, they will be able to share these experiences with their classmates when school starts back up.   

If you don’t have time to plan trips on your own, get involved in the community so you can take advantage of opportunities that present themselves! There are many organisations and youth groups that can provide great lessons for older students while building character and leadership qualities.   

10.  Go On Field Trips!

Using real world examples of what you are learning in class is a great way not only to teach but for students to retain that knowledge later on. Going on field trips allows your child(ren) to see how concepts they are studying can apply in everyday life, while also giving them new opportunities for discovery and learning outside of the traditional classroom setting.   

Make time for these kinds of excursions by planning ahead; sometimes it takes months before an opening at specific exhibitions becomes available at local museums or zoos (especially during the summer season).      

11.  Schedule Time For Family Activities

It’s important for both parents and students alike to take a break from education now and then. Try scheduling some time during the weekend or after school for family outings, unrelated to academia (although the filed trips above prove that many fun excursions can be educational for all!)

Adventures don’t have to cost any money – they can be as simple as a bike ride or taking your pet to the dog park. Family time doesn’t have to always take place at home so consider scheduling trips to the library, bookstores, aquariums, amusement parks or expositions!

12.  Consider Home-School Meet-Ups With Other Families

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and need some support then why not reach out to other home-schooling families? Many people find conversations with others going through similar struggles helps them feel less alone and prevents despair. It also provides opportunities for parents and students alike to share their experiences (both good and bad), allowing for insight into future problems and challenges.   

Sometimes it’s helpful just knowing there are others like yourself is enough motivation for those times when you don’t feel like home-schooling anymore. Meet-ups don’t have to be formal either – you can organise playdates so your children(ren) can make new friends or even invite other students over for ‘classroom’ instruction. There are also a growing number of home-schooling groups that meet in person or online. These could serve as a great resource for lesson plans, advice, study materials and, most importantly, peace of mind!    

13.  Don’t Be Afraid To Make Mistakes!

Nobody is perfect and if you make a mistake it certainly doesn’t mean your child(ren) won’t be making progress. Everyone makes mistakes; the important thing is to learn from them – this means re-visiting lessons at home or asking for help from your neighbours, friends, family or local schools’ guidance counsellors.   

Mistakes are a great way to teach children about problem solving skills and that not everything is going to go as planned. Learning how to adapt can strengthen critical thinking skills!

Bring It All Home  

As you can see, creating your own curriculum brings many benefits when done in the proper way. And when you do create your own, you never have to worry about validity or grade level appropriateness again. You will know where you all stand, what you need to do, and last but not least – you will be bonding with your children and getting to know each other through lots of quality time spent together. Your child can explore all the good things in life, while getting a great education, and all with you at the helm. 

We hope you enjoyed these ten steps on how to help your teen succeed at studying from home. For more information about school, college, and their professional programs visit www.onlinesupertutors.org. You can also subscribe to our free newsletter and download the resources we have available to aid your student in their academic pursuits.

#educationmatters #online education #homeschool #howto

[traekenimagines]

Tease: A Theo Raeken Imagine

Request from Anon: I was thinking maybe reader sees Theo having a wet dream about her and she knows that because she was doing her homework late at night and it was impossible cause Theo could not stop making sounds and moaning reader's name so she decides to tease him all week

Okay, so this one gets suggestive, as a warning. Hope this is okay for you lovely, and enjoy x 

You were deep into algebraic formations when you heard it. The noise was a familiar one, a sound that escaped Theo’s lips when your mouth was doing certain things to him, when he did certain things to you. You raised an eyebrow, turning away from your math book and looking at the sleeping chimera on the sofa.

He looked so peaceful, his arms wrapped around a cushion, his hair tousled just so, his chest rising and falling. Then of course, there was the bump in the blanket, right where his crotch was and there was that noise again, perfect lips opening as it escaped him. “Y/N, please.” You smirked as he whined in his sleep, and you knew just what he was dreaming about.

It appeared your algebra homework would have to wait – this was far more entertaining.

You got up from the table, and took the seat opposite Theo, taking out your phone. It was mean to record him, you knew that, but he had done worse to you, and it would work as fantastic leverage should you ever want something.

More moans left Theo’s lips as he shifted in his sleep, and you tried to ignore the feeling that built in the pit of your stomach. You had had such dreams before, Theo being present for such things, and he had always woken you up in a rather unconventional – but nonetheless satisfactory – manner.

You hit record as Theo’s hand moved to that bump in the blanket, and your eyes widened along with your smile as he continued to moan. His groans were interspersed with your name, for requests to do unspeakable things to him.

You were considering doing such things when he woke up. You quickly put your phone away, before smiling. “Good morning, princess.”

Theo groaned into the cushion. “Oh shut up. How long was I asleep?”

“Long enough.” You leaned over and kissed him on the forehead, hand sliding down his jaw in a seductive manner.

Theo’s eyes widened, as if he were remembering just what he had been dreaming about. “Wait, what were you doing?”

“Homework. Although in your dream, it sounded like I was doing a lot more.”

Theo’s cheeks reddened, which you thought awfully unusual. He had never been one to shy away from mentions of sex, but you pushed the thought aside, knowing that the recording on your phone was going to give you so much fun.

During the week, it certainly did.

Theo tried not to bring up the dream he had had, much to your dismay, didn’t try to make it a reality. But that didn’t stop you from winding him up, a hand on a thigh here, a brush of your fingers over a certain area there.

You knew why he was embarrassed, knew that seeing him vulnerable to images of you messed with his whole Alpha complex.

He liked to be the tease, and not the one who was teased.

He knew that giving in to your advances would mean that you had been successful, and he certainly didn’t want to admit defeat. Even if he did want you in his bed, beneath him as you had been in that dream.

It was Friday evening, a week since the dream, and this time it was Theo who was trying to get some work done. You, on the other hand, had different plans.

You came up behind him, in need of him after so long, and kissed his neck, your hand stroking up his back. He shrugged you off. “Y/N, I’m trying to work. I haven’t given into you all week, and I’m not going to now.”

“Fine,” you huffed, lying back down on the sofa. As you landed, you felt your phone in your pocket and you remembered a particular recording that you had every intention of using. “Guess I’ll just sit here, and listen to this.”

“Listen to what?”

Theo stood from his chair in an instant as the sounds of his moans filled the room. You smiled at him, amused as he walked over to you. “You recorded it?”

You shrugged nonchalantly. “I recorded it.”

“You’re such a tease, you know that?”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” The sound of Theo’s moans grew louder, and you mouthed over the words Oh Y/N. Y/N, please before a cackling laugh left you. Theo looked ready to explode, his cheeks red with anger or embarrassment, you weren’t quite sure.

“What do you want, Y/N?”

“Oh, I think you know what I want.” The recording ended, and you stood, your face inches away from Theo’s. You felt something press against your leg, and you grinned as Theo gave into your advances, into the week during which he had tried to avoid you, to let you win whatever game this was. He was going to lose, he knew that now, and he didn’t feel too bitter about it. “Fancy making that dream come true?”

Theo kissed you then, and the roles changed yet again.

For the next hour, he was most definitely the tease.

Masterlist

#teen wolf #teen wolf imagines #teen wolf imagine #theo raeken #theo raeken imagines #theo raeken imagine #theo raeken x reader #cody christian