#also who DOES she think ''took'' all that from her? it's an interesting phrasing

[revvethasmythh]

Liliana telling Imogen, "You know how much I miss just taking care of those horses? You know how much I dream of just walking the fields and making breakfast at sunrise? All that was taken from me" really brings to mind something that Laudna said to Imogen in episode 49:

"If you wish to have a quiet life in a cozy cottage in a field, raise horses and just be, no gods or fates or destiny can keep you from that."

That's the crux of why Liliana's argument fails to be convincing. Laudna is right--at any moment in this journey, Imogen could have decided she didn't need to do this and found a cottage to settle down in. At any point in 14-16 years of wandering Exandria before finding the Verity, Liliana could have gone home and had all the things she feels were "taken" from her. But she didn't, and that was her decision, not the fault of the gods, or Predathos, or any other force she thinks kept her away. She decided she needed answers more than that cozy life she loved so much. Foisting the responsibility of that decision does not erase that it was hers

#obligatory ''as far as we know'' #but yeah getting hit with ''don't you know how much i wanted to come back?'' is insane considering #SHE COULD HAVE #also who DOES she think ''took'' all that from her? it's an interesting phrasing #*stares into pepe silvia board with deep concentration* #liliana temult #critical role #also she really does owe relvin just. so much child support. so much

[ellastone-olsen]

Could I request something Rhaenyra x Stark!reader smut with them being feral codependent soulmates? I love that trope. They would totally be unhinged and in love wives together plus the fire and ice parallels 😭 Like after Laenor “dies”, Rhaenyra’s goes looking for a new spouse and runs into Stark!reader and it’s just love/obsession at first sight?

My queen is cruel | Rhaenyra Targaryen

★Pairing: Rhaenyra Targaryen x fem!Stark!reader

Summary: your family comes from Winterfell to the capital at the invitation of the Targaryen family. Princess Rhaenyra announced that she would choose a new spouse. Your brother was a contender from the House of Stark, but it seems to the princess that another contender from the rulers of the north is more interesting.

★Warnings: NSFW 18+, soulmates dynamic, mentions of blood and alcohol, innocent reader, virginity loss, oral, fingering

★Word count: 3.1k

★AN: omg my first House of the Dragon fic, I hope I translated some titles and names correctly. Thanks for the request, it took me so long to write this, but I love Rhaenyra so much 💕

Rhaenys's bitter, heartbreaking cry is heard in the silence of the room. The woman looks at the burnt body that just a few minutes ago was her son. “Who allowed this?! Why wasn’t anyone around?!” Corlys embraces his wife in rage and grief. That day, sadness became the main companion of the grieving parents.

No one knows that on the shore, the one who is now considered dead is running towards the boat. Laenor Velaryon sails away to disappear forever from this life in which he was imprisoned. Rhaenyra gave him a chance at happiness and Laenor will not forget this.

Rhaenyra Targaryen is officially recognized as a widow. It is expected that rumors about the death of the princess's husband began to spread like a plague, from servants to other servants, and those to their families, from there the plague was transmitted to all seven kingdoms. Some believed in the official story, others, like the grieving mother, blamed the Targaryen family for everything, they said that the princess ordered the murder, that she was tired of her husband. But for Rhaenyra it was enough to know that this was absurdity and slander.

“So what are you going to do next?” Daemon approached unnoticed. Rhaenyra didn’t look at him, her gaze was directed far out to sea. "I think I'm looking for a new spouse." Damon thought the hint was crystal clear. He thought that she still wanted him, wanted to finish what they started that night all those years ago. “Rhaenyra...” He was interrupted, “No uncle, leave it alone. Kiss me and let me go. If you do not...” A ringing silence hung between them. The phrase did not need to be continued; he already understood it.

King's Landing was filled with lords, princes and princesses from all over Westeros. The royal family invited all the noble houses, announcing that the heir to the iron throne would thus choose a new life partner.

“I don’t understand why you took me with you.” Your carriage was approaching to the King's Landing. Your parents were, as always, calm and cool, as befits the Starks, the rulers of the north. Your younger brother looked around the windows excitedly, clearly excited about his first trip outside of Winterfell. “Your mother and I think that you also need to see the capital.” Your father, as always, spoke directly and to the point. You smiled bitterly. “Only we’re here to try to marry Rob to this pompous princess.” You didn’t hide your bias towards this whole thing, which was more like an auction. “Y/N just try to say something like that about the princess in public and you will disgrace the entire House of Starks.”

For the rest of the trip you rode in silence, only occasionally fiddling with the hilt of the sword hidden in a sheath under your heavy black coat. Perhaps you had a little curiosity about the princess. What does the one who will take the iron throne look like, against whom there was so much outrage just because she was a woman. You thought that she must be strong and stubborn just like her ancestors. The same as the previously lived Visenya about whom you once read.

The carriage stopped.

“Do I have to wear this? How will I take my sword with me?” Your mother stood in the chambers that had kindly been allocated to you and watched as a maid helped you lace up a black dress with antique long sleeves. “You don't need the sword today, honey. This is a royal ball and you are not a knight in service." You looked in the mirror, and even though dresses weren't something you wore often, it didn't look bad at all for your taste. Still, the velvet in tandem with the large fur coat that you took from Winterfell looked harmonious.

“But what if something goes wrong and I’m left without a weapon?” You insisted. After so many years of training, the sword became an extension of you, and going out without it was akin to death. "The Royal Guard will protect us all." Your mother tried to be gentle and calm your worries. The woman came up behind you and put her hands on your shoulders. “For just one evening, be a princess and not a rude warrior. For me." You covered her hands. "Okay, just for you."

All arriving guests entered the huge hall in turn, after which they were seated at long tables, which were bursting with an abundance of dishes kindly offered by the royal family. “The Starks of Winterfell,” the man shouted and your family entered the hall. You followed your parents straight to the table in the center, at which the Targaryen couple was already sitting with the king and that famous Princess Rhaenyra at their head. Finally, you were close enough that you could see a woman with dazzling white hair and sharp purple eyes. Your breath caught somewhere in the depths and you couldn’t look away. It seems at this moment the ice and skepticism inside you broke, burst into a thousand pieces. You had to lower your head according to the rules of etiquette, but you couldn’t tear yourself away from contemplation. And when she finally looked at you, when your eyes met, you realized that you had problems. “Your Grace, this is our son Rob and eldest daughter Y/N.” Your father, as the head of the family, introduced his children and added, “I hope that Rob can claim the place of your husband Princess Rhaenyra.”

At these words, you remembered why you were here and a little jealousy pricked somewhere in your chest. You were almost jealous of your brother. But who are you to be jealous, because you just met. This is all becoming too strange, but so tempting. You sat down and the evening began.

Wines of different varieties continually filled the glasses of rich gentlemen, everyone laughed, joked and discussed who the heiress would choose as her husband. The Lannisters were sitting next to you and you could hear snatches of greasy jokes about how their eldest son could have Rhaenyra in all poses. Anger boiled inside you, how could this bastard say such things about this woman. “And they also say that her sons are bastards, and she is a whore.” The loud laughter of the Lannisters infuriated you even more. “Then your house is no better for having sworn allegiance to a whore.” You thought you said it quietly, but they apparently heard you.

“I didn’t hear what the pup from Winterfell was barking just now?” Everyone who was at your table fell silent and the whole room also paid attention to this. “I said what I meant.” The man was already deeply drunk and clearly in the mood for a fight. He stood up and you stood up next, you were the same height. “If you are so brave, then say out loud what you think of the princess.” Rhaenyra's purple eyes watched your quarrel carefully, it would be a lie to say that she did not look at you all evening, knowing that all the men in this room would be denied. She definitely liked your spark and wanted to see what happened next.

“I said that her sons are bastards, and she is a whore.” The man said the last word slowly, syllable by syllable, everyone present was in suspense. King Viserys took out his favorite blade. "I'll cut out your filthy tongue." As soon as he finished the phrase, a knife, prudently hidden under a fur coat, appeared in your hand and pinned Lannister’s palm to the table. He tried to get it. “There are a lot of vital veins in this part of the arm; if you try to pull it out, you will bleed to death.” The white cloaks immediately drew their swords and stood ready. Rhaenyra's entire being was hypnotized in delight by your actions and words, at that moment she chose her spouse. The entire Lannister family stood up and was ready to tear you apart.

"Get them out." For the first time that evening, Rhaenyra's voice broke the silence of the event. The bastard's face lit up with a smile. “My princess, thank you...” But before he could finish speaking, the guards twisted his hands, pulling the knife out of his palm, causing the man to let out a bitter scream. The entire Lannister family was disgracedly eliminated from the feast; there was silence for several more minutes, only whispers were heard from different sides.

"What are you doing." Your father pulled you by the arm, urging you to sit down, and glared at you with eyes full of rage. “Your mother asked you not to take weapons with you.” “She asked not to take the sword, dear father.” Rhaenyra stood up. “Today, to our great regret, unpleasant and unacceptable events occurred for the royal court.” She paused, her gaze returning to you and a smile gracing her lips. “But let’s not let these events overshadow our holiday, let’s raise our glasses and have a feast.” The crowd cheered and raised their glasses as they praised Princess Rhaenyra's wisdom and resilience. The celebration continued until late at night, you drank several glasses of wine after the incident and by the end you were decently drunk.

All evening you kept looking at Rhaenyra, your head was filled with thoughts about how beautiful and wise she is, about how wrong you were, how you regret that you didn’t want to go to the capital. But then these euphoric thoughts were darkened by the fact of her imminent marriage to one of the men of these noble houses and perhaps even to your brother.

You headed to your chambers, every now and then passing by local servants. Your legs dragged you heavily, your mind only thought about taking a warm bath and washing away inappropriate thoughts about the heiress. The heavy door opened with a slight creak, letting you into the semi-darkness of the room. You thought that you asked the servants to extinguish all the candles, but for some reason they were burning. Your gaze caught on an unfamiliar figure standing with his back to you, and the knife that had recently been in the Lannister’s bastard was again in your hand, waiting to defend yourself from intruders.

"You're a little warrior aren't you?" A velvety voice broke the silence and the stranger turned to face you. You immediately lowered the knife. “Your Grace, forgive me, I didn’t know it was you.” You immediately bent your knee in front of her. You were absolutely at a loss and the whole situation was a little confusing, why was the princess, the heir to the throne, waiting for you in your chambers in the middle of the night? “No need for formalities, please stand up.”

She walked through your chambers looking at some of your personal belongings until she found the sword. “Oh, this is your main weapon, as I understand it, you don’t to swing a knife every time of course ...” she bent down to take a closer look at the sparkling silver blade. “Such a beautiful thing, to match the owner.” Her compliment made your already red cheeks flush. “Did you want to talk about what happened, Your Grace?” you desperately wanted to change the topic.

“Did your mother ever tell you the legend of soulmates?” You were dumbfounded by her question. “Your Grace, I don’t quite understand...” She continued to walk around the room. “Don’t they really tell such stories in the north?” Her tone sounded fakely upset. “They say I know one.” “Then tell me too.”

You didn’t understand anything, Rhaenyra Targaryen came to you at night to listen to fairy tales for children? Perhaps something was put in the wine and now you were hallucinating, but it seemed like everything looked real. The woman lit the fireplace and, unbecoming for a future queen, sat down on the soft fur in front of the fire. She looked up at you, inviting you to sit next to her, you obeyed. The crackling of logs, the heat of the fire and the soft floral perfume of Rhaenyra lulled to sleep.

“My mother... told me when I was a child that there was a belief...” you cleaned the throat. “That every person has their own soulmate, but not everyone is able to find it, it’s like a person who was created by the seven gods just for you.” Rhaenyra began to unravel her tight braid; her head began to hurt unpleasantly from her hairstyle. You watched out of the corner of your eye as her snow-white strands gradually fell onto her shoulders. “And how do you understand who exactly your person is?” She encouraged you to continue. “I don’t remember exactly, but they said that when you see him or her, you will immediately understand, just the first glance or the first meeting and…boom.” "Boom?" She asked again, not quite understanding your strange wording. "Yes." You were looking at the burning logs when Rhaenyra's hand covered yours. She has already unbraided her hair. “Do you want to brush them?” Something strange was clearly happening. But who are you to refuse, you nodded and took the wooden comb brought from Winterfell from the nightstand. Hands carefully took strands of silver hair and combed them, as if they would break from the wrong movement.

“Do you believe in this legends?” You thought for a second. “I’m not sure, or rather I didn’t believe it before, but now these fairy tales don’t seem so stupid to me.” You put comb down, combing all hair perfectly. “I don’t understand why these questions are asked, Your Grace.” Your head was a complete mess due to the mixture of alcohol and adrenaline caused by the woman next to you. “Please call me Rhaenyra.” She turned to face you. “You understand everything, little warrior, don’t lie to me.” The woman moved closer and closer until she placed one hand on your shoulder. "Your Grace...Rhaenira." She leaned in so close that her lips were almost touching yours. "I want you." You looked into bright purple eyes, which shone yellow in the firelight. “Tell me the wolf of Winterfell, do you want me?” Her perfume smelled so delicious, her soft skin, white as her hair, that the dress did not hide, begged to be touched, “I...yes please, I want you.”

Rhaenyra's lips touched yours, sharing the sweetness of the recently drunk wine. One of the woman's hands grabbed the collar of your velvet dress and began to pull it down your shoulders to free your soft breasts. She carefully laid you on your back, on the soft fur, holding the back of your head. Her lips moved to her neck, then to her shoulder and then wrapped around her pink nipple. The action caused you to place your hand on her head, stroking her silver hair. The princess's hands lifted the skirt of the dress to the waist and stroked the skin of your soft thighs. "Cute little thing." She giggled and touched your lips again. The kiss was untidy, but full of tenderness and desire. Rhaenyra relieved you of underwear, her fingers slipped inside without a barrier, you were completely wet, just for her, but then she remembered. “Is this your first time?” She stopped any action, waiting in horror for an answer. "Yes, my grace." Rhaenyra buried her nose in the crook of your neck and began to kiss you, whispering, “I’m sorry, I should have asked earlier.” Your hand rested on hers that was still between your legs. “Please continue, I want this more than anything.”

And she continued, gently pounding and curling her fingers to hit that sensitive spot inside that made you see stars and whine like a pup. "Rhaenyra, Rhaenyra, oh please my grace." Your hand touched the sensitive bud for additional stimulation. “Oh fuck, fuck...I'm gonna...” “Cum for me, cum for your queen.” Her movements became faster and clearer until you came, squeezing around her long fingers, biting your hand so as not to scream from the new sensations that she was giving you. She pulled out and showed you her hand, which sparkled in the firelight from your release, and then licked every last drop, causing your eyes to darken.

When you came to your senses, you stood up, only to strip completely and push Rhaenyra towards the bed, urging you to sit on it. "Please let me return the favor." You knelt in front of her, lifting the skirt of her dress up to expose her stockinged legs. Your lips kissed every centimeter of skin, no one worshiped it like you. When your mouth reaches her pussy, you notice that her arousal has left a wet mark on the bed linen. The tongue draws a line along the entire length, collecting her arousal, and the woman moans, lowering her hand to stroke your cheek. “My little savior, tell me, would you have killed him if I had not intervened?” You kiss her palm. "Yes my grace." And you hug her sensitive bud with your lips, simultaneously pushing three fingers inside, immediately picking up a fast pace. "Oh Gods!" She moans and screams without being embarrassed to be heard, the way you stretch her drives the woman crazy. “Fuck, that’s it!” and “Yeah right there, that’s my good girl.” You fuck her, trying to please your queen as best as possible and feel how she clench around your fingers. “Fuck fuck Y/N!” She cums, for a long time, and you fuck her through orgasm until she whines from overstimulation, asking her to stop.

You move onto the bed and lie on top of her again, kissing her. “I didn’t believe in soulmates until I saw you.” She hugs you, covering your naked body. You lie there, again inhaling the aroma of her perfume and not believing in the reality of what happened. “I would like to believe that it’s true,” she replies and you think.

“Have you already chosen someone to be your spouse?” You say this quietly, in a whisper. It was at this moment that you remembered why your family came here in the first place and how you may have acted meanly towards your brother. She laughs and you don't understand. "Yes, I chose you."

You lift your head sharply, looking into those purple eyes to see if she's deceiving you. “But...what if people are against it, what will you do?”

She thought about it, she knew that there would be dissatisfied people. “Then I will personally give Syrax the command to burn to the ground anyone who questions my choice.”

#house of the dragon #rhaenyra is my queen #rhaenyra targaryen #queen rhaenyra #rhaenyra x reader #rhaenyra targaryen x reader #hotd rhaenyra

[pumpkinbxtch]

hi! I love your Apollo fics sm can I please request a fic we’re the reader is Percy’s older sister and she finds out there’s like a prophecy of her marrying Apollo and then like they eventually meet and fall and love and then what there marriage is like

𓇼 the sun & the sea 𓇼 〰✷〰

— apollo / lester x daughter of poseidon!reader

— part i | part ii | part iii | part iv |

☆ radiostar is playin': hot rod by dayglow...!

summary: There is a prophecy waiting for you to listen to it and although it may not be something you expect or consider possible. You know what they say about prophecies…they can't fail to come true.

warnings: none BUT long read, literally. got out of hand and i couldn't stop writing. that's bad? oh, fuck me, i'm sorry. a/n: i appreciate your request, thank you (although I think I changed it a little, sorry). HEAR ME OUT I feel like I owe a lot of love to those who love Apollo, so that's why I didn't entertain the idea of ​​making this long. Hope you like I know it's long, but I promise I did my best to make it bearable and fun, I swear. 😭

“The sea and the sun are not far away as they look…”

They told you to stay away from the attic of The Big House, but they never told you why.

“Only he can go up”, they said, and it seemed stupid to you because he was your younger brother; you were supposed to protect him.

“It's very dangerous”, they told you while Annabeth went up, even though you were a couple of years older than her.

“Only if you lead some quest, but…” but no, because as the years went by, they made sure to remind you of your place. They told you that you were powerful, smart, and capable, because, yes, you were Poseidon's firstborn, but not the chosen one. That was Percy, your brother. Did it hurt? Yes, as an older sister, you tend to aspire to greatness and be an example, but you didn't die; you got over it.

“What does it matter? Less work for me” you said as you watched your brother's back on all the missions. Anyway, you ended up stuck in his destiny.

“His destiny. But then, what's mine?” you wondered. Then, when you took a step near Rachel Dare's cave, they stopped you too.

“It's–”

“Dangerous.” You completed the familiar phrase with a look of disgust, avoiding Chiron's eyes. He just looked at you with pity, thinking to himself that if you went in there, you could cause more trouble for your father or Olympus… Or everyone; it would be a war among all the Olympians, something they didn't need with Titan Kronos already on their heels.

Dionysus gave you his typical mocking smile, the same one that made you want to grab the can of Diet Coke and throw it right at his disgusting Christmas-reindeer-red nose.

“It would be so interesting, but we don't need it,” he said as he dragged you away from Rachel with Chiron.

You weren't stupid, you knew there was some good reason. But damn, those fossils were sneaky and never let you get to your redheaded companion, who also avoided you like the plague. Between those two things, you never managed to achieve it. Even less so after you ended up fighting on the Argo II with your new friends, straight from real Greece.

Oh, man, if you had thought Kronos was a damn old grump, Gaea was an old ball-buster. You didn't even have time to think about your future when you didn't know if you had one.

After the second war is when you started to throw in the towel about the future. You realized that the last thing you wanted to know at that moment was whether you would have to fight against twelve more Titans, return to Tartarus, or travel to Alaska again.

New Rome became your new home, and you only waited for Percy to catch up with you along with everyone else. That is, until you returned home to pack new things and didn't find your brother studying just as he should be.

— Mom? — You asked when she came back from shopping.

She gave you that look, and you cursed.

— Relax, he'll be back in a while; he just went to drop off Apollo or well, now he's Lester because apparently he's no longer a god but Zeus…

— Wow. Wait, what?

As a hero of Olympus, touching, seeing, or talking to the gods was never impossible for you; in fact, it was much more usual for your taste, and although you had been through too much already, that was new. So, you found yourself immediately traveling to Long Island Sound on the back of a Pegasus, looking for your brother. You wouldn't let Apollo, Lester, or whatever he called himself now take your brother away to distract him with his godly stuff that surely wouldn't lead to anything good.

— Where's Percy?! — You shouted in the dining hall, making the campers flinch.

Chiron got up from his seat, and from there, he smiled at you, but it only put you in a worse mood.

— Dear, it's been a long journey. Please, sit and eat with us.

You lowered your head without taking your eyes off Chiron and tightened the dagger on your belt. There was no reason for it, you knew, but you couldn't help feeling that fury after knowing everything you had been through. Percy deserved a break.

— Where's my brother? — The pause between words made the campers squirm in their uncomfortable seats. They had heard about you, about everyone. to be exact, in the third lesson of history in their camp classes.

— He left Apollo and Meg in a field not far from here — Chiron decided to sit back down and began to spread the tablecloth nervously. — He probably should have already reached home while you were flying here.

You sighed, and as you relaxed your body, everyone seemed to feel relieved.

— He has exams, Chiron — He nodded, and you made your way to the table where he was.

— In fact, there are problems, and apparently, he promised to come back this weekend — Your eyebrows furrowed again, and Dionysus laughed.

— Girl, shouldn't you be in New Rome?

— I went home for a few more things, also taking the opportunity to see my family, and it turns out that my little brother was helping an ex god who can't fend for himself, risking his studies. — You replied without looking at him — And speaking of brothers, you should control yours, Mr. D.

The god of wine snorted, and you formed a mocking smile. — Insolent.

— Miss Jackson — Chiron intervened, and you softened your gaze toward him — You can stay tonight, you know you're welcome and after all, it's too late to travel on Pegasus.

You didn't argue with them; you'd never put your pegasus in danger. So, for the first time in a long time, you returned to your cabin, the same one you shared with Percy and Tyson for so many years, and you had to admit that you missed him. At dawn, you were preparing to travel, and you left at the moment you thought no one was watching you, how wrong you were because a few meters away, Apollo was hidden behind the cabin piles, admiring you from afar.

— She… — He felt his heart tighten, and his gaze unfocused. He cursed his mortal body for how weak it was.

— Pervert! — Meg shouted, alerting the other campers who turned confused, and Apollo blushed.

— Shut up, I'm not a pervert — He smiled exaggeratedly at the others, pretending a smile and letting them know that everything was fine.

— You saw her — Said a voice behind him once Meg was far enough away to hear. The brunette turned and smiled sheepishly.

— For a second — Apollo replied, avoiding his old friend's gaze; embarrassment nibbled at his body, and it became evident once his cheeks glowed.

Chiron had never seen him… like that, so young, embarrassed, and notably imperfect, but despite Apollo's opinions about his recent change, he thought it suited him well, even found it amusing.

— You remember…

— I remember it well, Chiron — Apollo blushed even more — That's why I didn't approach her; dealing with my father's wrath is enough. Now I don't want to annoy Poseidon or I'll probably wake up dead on the lake shore tomorrow.

He played with the tips of his sneakers as buried them in the rocks on the floor; he looked like a scared little boy, but Chiron didn't judge him.

— I think you know what it means when she's around when you're close.

The ex god didn't want to pay attention, but he knew he was right.

— Although I remember who she is… there’s a problem. I don't remember how to avoid her…— Apollo's blue eyes looked directly at Chiron's, and the urgency on his face told him he was telling the truth. — If I don't know now, it's going to be harder; all I can do is hide if she's near.

— We've lasted many years with this circus, and as much as I respect the lord of the seas, I don't think this will last long. And you know what's more stubborn than a son of the sea god?

— The sea god — Apollo raised his eyebrows in annoyance, and Chiron resisted rolling his eyes.

— Fate, Apollo. You know it well, things are written. The prophecy is still there; it exists, and all we've done is delay the inevitable.

The brunette nodded with annoyance and waved his hand dismissively.

Although he wanted to pretend that he didn't care, the anxiety of what was to come ate at him. He knew very well that it wouldn't take long for you to discover what all these years had been hidden from you. If Apollo reflected better on that, he wasn't sure he wanted to continue keeping it to himself, either, 'cause those years had been torture for him. Yeah, he knew that you weren't yet mature enough for your mind to be stained with the weight of a prophecy that, unlike the others, not had to do with some quest or some imminent danger that threatened the entire world; but now you are in college, he couldn't wait for you to know.

The thing was, your father thought that the one who could be in danger was you, his precious daughter since Apollo was selfish, arrogant, and immature to have been around for eons. Poseidon could not fully explain the reason The Fates had woven such a destiny for you. So, until things had and could happen at the right time, in the right way, he warned Apollo to be close to you and he knew so well that be such an idiot idea to make him angry.

Before his thoughts could swallow him, Apollo shake them off and sigh to Chiron.

— Right now, I have a bigger problem. I think we've found something.

— Where?

— Here — Chiron frowned, and Apollo looked towards the camp's forest. — My dear friend, you have the Grove of Dodona here, in your playground.

Apollo didn't know that of all the decisions he had made in his life, avoid you was the best one he could make, because even if you had met that day or before, with the things that were about to happen to him, he wouldn't come back as half the man he was.

“Things at the moment, in time” the fates whispered in some place.

#maría's shared dreams☆｡ﾟ✧ #trials of apollo #trials of apollo x reader #apollo pjo x reader #apollo pjo #apollo x you #apollo x reader #apollo #pjo hoo toa #heroes of olympus #pjo #apollo x y/n #lester papadopoulos #lester papadopoulos x you #lester papadopoulos x reader #lester papadopoulos x y/n #lester x you #lester x reader #percy jackson

[kaibutsushidousha]

To be honest, your discussion of Minase's positive and negative qualities piqued my interest. What do you think are the main recurring fgo writers' strong and weak points? Also where would you rank the lilim harlot event?

For the sake of brevity, I'll stick to one per writer. Picking apart everyone to the extent I did with Minase would take forever and would be better done after their respective Ordeal Calls.

I hesitate to call Higashide's comedy his strong point because his huge hits are about as frequent as his huge misses. I suppose I'll go with clarity for Higashide's main strong point. Even when I think he sucked at delivering his point, I can always tell what he's trying to say, which is not something I can say about Sakurai's most compressed scripts. His weak point is his lack of ambition. It's nice to have at least one person in FGO's team who will never try to escalate things, but I can't see it doesn't make his stories more forgettable in the long run.

Minase was already detailed in his own post.

Meteo’s best quality is a tone setter. Requiem, Salem, and all his events come with an atmosphere that feels very tangibly different from what FGO usually does. Often his events are bad, but never they lack a unique identity. Which segues into his weak point, being that many of his events are comedy events and the man is simply not funny. Bullying Erice is his only consistently good joke, and when he tries other things, the results are more miss than hit. See Las Vegas and Wandjina World Tour for major examples of comedy events that failed hard at the comedy side.

Nasu is a master recycler. I don't know how he does it but the man is constantly reusing the same structures, the same themes, or the same dynamics and somehow it never feels repetitive. There is always something that makes the whole recipe feel fresh and unique despite being so easy to recognize the same usual ingredients there. And what I dislike about Nasu in FGO is how he's still stuck at the concept of selling waifus from the girls with routes days. Everyone has their list of characters who get ship tease with Fujimaru but only in Nasu's case it feels like an overwhelming majority and that some of the choices create too large of a difference between the summoned character and the character in the main story. Was it really necessary to do this with, say, Morgan? Melusine? Tenochtitlan?

And Sakurai I saved for last because one major reason this post took this long is that I was struggling to sort out what is characteristically good and bad about her. Well, even now I don’t have a simple and satisfying answer. Things can’t be simple with Sakurai, unfortunately. One friend of mine described the experience of reading Sakurai scripts as “playing chess against an opponent that doesn’t tell that you are in a game of chess” and that’s honestly a fascinating way to phrase it.

Sakurai is an intriguing combination of inflexibly ambitious and inflexibly professional. She has grand ideas for her characters and she will include them in the script without fail. But she's also strictly adherent to script size limitations. While Nasu is making Camelot and Avalon le Fae with total disregard to every possible limit, Sakurai is cramming so much into Septem's and London's microscopic file space that it becomes utterly incomprehensible. Nasu wrote Last Encore's plot as a whole ass novel and hired Sakurai to convert that into anime scripts because Sakurai is his expert in fitting a lot of stuff into tiny spaces. Tunguska was tossed at Sakurai because probably no one else could fit into its raid event constraints. And because she doesn't compromise on what goes in, her alternative is not revealing the mysteries about her characters but laying out all the hints so the players can figure it out themselves, which is a really fun thing once you're used to it (read: aware that you're playing chess against her).

And the answer to "Where would I rank the Lilim Harlot event" is 1st place.

#higashide yuuichirou #sakurai hikaru #nasu kinoko #hoshizora meteor

[sokkastyles]

"You are your father's daughter" feels similar to the careful choosing of words that Zuko does when his father puts him on the spot in the war meeting in the show, the reaction of an abuse victim who is anticipating that their words will be picked apart and used against them. Ursa is saying what Ozai wants to hear. The idea that it's meant to insult Azula is totally bonkers, and the idea that AZULA would interpret it as an insult is equally bonkers, considering that Azula WANTS to be her father's daughter.

The other thing is that Ursa responds in the way of someone who is used to living with the demands of an abuser who is mainly concerned with his own self image. Ursa knows that Ozai is only excited about Azula's firebending because of how it reflects on him, so she phrases her praise of Azula in a way that gives Ozai what he wants, in hopes of placating him and avoiding any retribution placed on her, or her daughter.

I've always had the impression that part of Ozai's hatred of Zuko was based on the idea that Ursa gave Zuko too much attention, which of course took away from Ozai getting the attention and praise he wanted, that he thought he deserved. This is pretty typical with this type of abusive parent. In that way, Ozai becomes actually jealous of Zuko, as irrational as that is. I do think Ozai loved Ursa, or at least, he loved that Ursa was his. But after Ursa has her first child, he no longer owns all of Ursa. He has to share her with another person, a helpless child who is even more endlessly needy than the depths of Ozai's self-centered neediness.

Ursa carefully choosing her words under Ozai's condemning gaze feels like she's learned her lesson. Ozai wants her to praise Azula, but Ozai's mood could turn if Ursa shows too much interest in Azula. So Ursa says what she hopes will please Ozai without making her daughter a target the same way Zuko was a target because Ursa loved him too much.

Ursa absolutely looks heartbroken in those panels and it makes me wonder about what came before. About what Ursa might know of what it means for Ozai that Azula has started firebending. About how aware Ursa was that she was about to lose her daughter to a man she knows is a monster. I imagine Ursa half hoping her children would never be benders, dreading what Ozai would do to them if they were but also what he might do if they weren't.

#ursa #azula #azula in the spirit temple #ozai #abuse cw #zuko #atla comics

[thelunarfairy]

Amane's past

I've been thinking about a pretty crazy theory lately. I saw in some posts about the desire of supernaturals to devour humans.

So I was thinking, right at the beginning there was that theory that Amane could be being abused by Tsukasa, despite the signs really indicating that it could have happened, the hypothesis was discarded.

Analyzing the situation carefully, Amane had no friends, there is no evidence that any student was bothering him (and the hypothesis was said by Yashiro) and even so, for Amane to always forgive, it wouldn't make sense for it to be someone random, there had to be some connection.

So that leaves Amane and Tsukasa's parents. There is no evidence that his parents were violent, which I think is unlikely as they could have done something more drastic and aggressive to Tsukasa, since his mother took him to be exorcised.

So, in the end, only Tsukasa remains. We see that Amane does not always appear injured.

Like when he is repairing a watch, but at the same time Tsuchigomori, while talking to Amane, says that he appears injured every day since he started studying with him.

Knowing that Tsukasa has merged with that "God" who usually grants wishes for a lifetime, I have been wondering about Tsukasa's "hunger". As I said at the beginning, supernaturals like to devour humans, Tsukasa is a supernatural, even though he looks like a human. When he returned home, he was no longer an ordinary human boy, he was a supernatural one.

What guarantees that Tsukasa wasn't always trying to please this God by using people? Just like he did in the temple when he granted the wish.

Perhaps, Amane may have given Tsukasa her body to satisfy this desire and stop her brother from hurting other people, which is why he "always forgives"

Mitsuba bites Kou to the point of almost biting off his fingers because he is so hungry. Why wouldn't Tsukasa do the same?

Still, we never saw Tsukasa devouring supernaturals or interested in devouring humans, but we also never saw him say that that possibility wouldn't exist. Remembering that the Tsukasa that appears with the seal is a Yorishiro, that is, it is not the original Tsukasa, after all, the Yorishiro is everything you love or want to protect most, it takes the form of that. Like Sumire for example, even though she has memories, that Sumire is not the real one, as the real one died many years ago.

The same applies to Tsukasa. Proof of this is Tsukasa's appearance to Nene at the festival, he was without the seal, considering that he speaks directly to her because he already knows her, it is a fact that that Tsukasa is the real one and not a memory of the past. Although Tsukasa has this ability to float through time, we are not sure if the Tsukasa from the past is Yorishiro or if there are two Tsukasas.

It's a bit of a crazy hypothesis, but it crossed my mind these days. The other hypothesis would be that Amane himself was hurting himself for some reason, but this would be in contrast to Amane's phrase "I will always forgive". Would he forgive himself? Also, there are rope marks on his arms, would he tie himself?

Other than that, the possibilities are that other people who could be important to him did this, but we don't know them.

Maybe Amane will always forgive him because Tsukasa wouldn't be able to control his hunger, just like Mitsuba. Kou was able to overlook Mitsuba's entire situation when he realized that without it he would die, so it would be okay for Kou to hunt supernaturals for Mitsuba to eat. Why wouldn't Amane do the same for her brother? The difference is that instead of supernaturals, it would be himself.

"I will always forgive"

Amane may have gotten tired of this and thought he had no solution left for Tsukasa, so he would kill him to take away his burden, and since Amane wouldn't forgive himself for killing him, he took his own life. Or, he just tried to get the "creature" out of his brother, but ended up killing him as a result.

#jibaku shounen hanako kun #hanako kun #amane yugi #hanakokun #jshk #toilet bound hanako kun #yugi twins #aidairo #jshk spoilers #tbhk #hanako kun anime #yugi amane #aoi akane #jshk yashiro #jshk hanako #minamoto teru #hanako kun spoilers #tbhk hanako #nene yashiro #tsukasa yugi #jibaku shoujo hanako kun

[beeedelweiss]

The Ryu Shi Oh treatment

Oh boy do I have a lot to say.

So Shi Oh is the CEO of Doogo right ?

When we first met him we saw that he was violent and he did not care about being physically violent.

His introduction scene came in episode 1 when he was in that bus thingy watching Nam Soon stopping the plane and being head over heels for her. He is fascinated by her

At the beginning we dont have much info about him : all that we know is that he is the CEO, the one dealing the drugs, violent and scared of nothing.

Then we see him doing his little business drug and wanting to find Nam Soon, then he do finds her.

The chemistry is there at their first scene. Shi Oh is fascinated by her and really likes her, he wants to know more. He is jealous as he sees her having fun downstairs with Hee Sik.

Somehow she comes to aid him at the office, he trust her, he is fascinated by her, by Tsetseg.

The more we see them the more we see a new side of Shi Oh.

Not only do we learn that he can be very tender, soft hearted, he worries about her, cares about her. He wants to help her get a citizenship, drive her home, wants to help her find her own home. He drives her home personnally, they have meals together. He helps her putting her bag well on her shoulder, helps her with her jacket.

She is the only person which can makes him smile.

He is interested in her, and truly cares for her.

Not only that but we also learnt about his past, which he is starting to share with her as well.

He was an orphan and was adopted into a russian mafia group, which truly mistreated him. He could not eat if he did not win hand fight, was clearly being beaten up. We are only starting to see of his abuse, physical and mental.

The fact that he is opening up to Nam Soon (Tsetseg) and explaining that for him friendship and love were never an option but that with her it is finally something he can imagine is so important.

He also confessed and is vocal about his feelings. He trust her, he wants her by his side.

We also saw them bonding multiple times, being away from their natal countries, missing something, Being honest and wondering what their places in society is.

We also saw her standing up for him against her mother. Which he deeply appreciated. She always cares about him and asks him whats wrong

There is this phrase that I really like that nam soon said that was about your place in life : wether someone is in the dark or in the light and she said that he was in the middle. Searching for his light.

We saw in the last two episodes that he keeps thinking about : Nam soon could be his light, he wants to be in the light.

He is trying his hardest to break free from the mafia and the drugs and the antidote are that door to freedom for him.

We also saw how deeply he was worried for her when she did not come to work, how worried he was that it was because of his confession, but also when he took the drug he asked her to stay away from him, why ? probably because he was scared that he could hurt her.

Now the problem is that we are getting at the end of the drama. Soon he will find out that Tsetseg the woman he loves and trust is not who she pretends to be. And he is going to be broken hearted.

I don't see a good ending for him, the most likely cases can be cut to 3 :

Mafia finds him first and kills him since he is disobeying them

The police will arrest him and he will end in jail

He dies during a police operation (I could totally see a scene where he dies in Nam-Soon arms thanking her for making him feel love and friendship for the first time in his life)

Now that is why I am mad. It is extremely unlikely that he will have a happy ending, that he will be with Nam Soon

Which to me is so unfair.

Yes he did hurt and kill people but he is a victim as well.

He has trauma, and a really heavy huge one. It is not a vilain which does it without reasons or only for his pleasure, he is doing it to free himself from the mafia and from his trauma.

What he definitely needs is a therapist. He needs to heal from the pain in his heart.

What makes it so unfair is that I know he is not gonna end up well, he will either die or end up in jail.

And I hates it.

I want him to be happy, to be at peace. His whole life was suffering and trusting no one.

And now that he finally trust and love someone he is gonna lose her. He is gonna lose everything.

I just wish that for once, he would be happy, he would be forgiven just like the girl who tried to kill Nam-Soon.

I wish that he could be with Nam-Soon and heal properly with his trauma.

All those scenes that shows his trauma and childhood is to make us feel for him, feel sympathetic. Only for what ? For them to kill him off (probably).

The message that will be send out will be that even if you have trauma and you start to heal from it, is that there is no way of healing, there is no way of being free.

Shi Oh deserves the hapiness, he deserves to be with Nam Soon.

And I know that he will not get it

#lemme hear your thoughts #kdrama #strong girl nam soon #strong girl nam soon kdrama #gang nam soon #ryu shi oh #gang nam soon x ryu shi oh

[project-sekai-facts]

Do you have info on commissions in general? such as 2dmvs, songs, etc. Anything released by the devs about stuff like what it takes to commission artists for content that’ll be used ingame, how long in advance the creator that’s being commissioned has to be contacted, have there been any rejected/remade commissioned songs, etc etc.

I’m particularly wondering if there’s disclosed info about the song Order Made and any other commissioned songs that had the Sekai version vocaloid tuned by the producer, because how would the game’s management arrange for that?

Here's some stuff I know

Most of this is taken from the Corocoro producer interviews, and you can find them all here. I mainly just skimmed them for trivia, but they're worth a read and there's probably some stuff I missed.

According to devs, the process of commissioning and producing songs can take around 8 months, though according to individual producers, the production of the song (not including recording vocals and mixing) can take anywhere between days and about a year. Producers are given a story summary, along with some words and phrases that staff would like to be reflected, and then given free reign on the rest (though management does oversee things)

In addition, event plot outlines have to be finished by the time the producer is commissioned for the event song, although this definitely didn't seem to be the case earlier on in the game, as you'll see further down this post.

According to Project Message vol.15, earlier commissions would have their SEKAI version Virtual Singer picked based on the producer. This is why Nijiiro Stories has two Virtual Singers, as staff decided that MEIKO and KAITO fit the image of OSTER Project best.

Both TONDEMO-WONDERZ and Showtime Ruler had their first drafts scrapped. Tondemo was because Sasakure didn't like his early drafts, but Showtime Ruler's first draft was rejected by staff because they didn't think the style was right.

Surii actually made two versions of Kagirinaku Haiiro e. He asked staff to pick which one they preferred and that's the one in the game.

DIVELA wrote two songs before Tenshi no Clover

Depending on the artists, the song can take a matter of days to compose, or months. For example, DECO*27 composed needLe in 3 days, but it took Giga 6 months to finalise Ready Steady.

Here's an interesting one. Karasuyasabou looked at fans talking about WxS stories to help him with writing the lyrics to Showtime Ruler, alongside reading the stories himself. He describes the song's lyrics as being "written with the fans".

There's a bit of a grey area in how things were handled early on. For example, DECO*27 mentions in his Corocoro interview that he was given character illustrations and he talked about story, suggesting that he was given something to work with there. However, PinnochioP mentions only being given the prompt of "abandoned theme park" and some character designs, and NayutalieN mentions only being given character designs because things weren't set in stone at the time (I think NayutalieN was approached very early).

So yeah, MORE! JUMP! MORE! was written with no knowledge of story. NayutalieN was informed of things as they progressed, but it was still vague details that he was given. Also mentioning fragments of feelings in the lyrics was a complete coincidence.

OSTER Project mentioned in her interview that On A Holy Night, This Singing Voice had not been completed when she was commissioned, so she also worked from very vague details.

40mP was another producer who was approached long before release

SEGA specifically asked 40mP for a song with a "serious story" but "not too dark" (same link as above)

Meanwhile, HachiojiP was advised to add classical elements to RAD DOGS fit the event story

Ayase was contacted long before the release of the game as well, despite his song not releasing in-game until quite a while after release.

Ayase also was given the privilege of choosing what unit he got to make a song for. He chose VBS because he thought they fit hit vibe most and because he thought they were cool.

Police Piccadilly was requested to make a song that wasn't "too agressive or over-the-top"

Aqu3ra was given a bit more free will though, and was just told to make their comm sound how they wanted it to

They also made two demos, and after consultation with staff, chose one of the demos to finalise

TOKOTOKO was told to make "a song that would be exciting in live performances". As you can probably tell at this point the prompts received can vary greatly between producers.

there's not a huge amount of information outside of the corocoro interviews, and they've only done up to Yuukisan (Mirai) so far, so there's limits on how much i can tell you. Also not every song got an interview, so now Nulut, no Mafumafu, no Neru unfortunately. I suggest to keep an eye out for new interviews if you're interested; they seem to be going at a pace of one or two per month.

#asks #songs #karasuyasabou-san why did you do that to yourself #sorry this took so long orz #i started this in september i think and just never got around to finishing it.. apologies for making you wait so long

[i-plague-eater]

It took me long to choose characters but I've ended with Elyon, Orube and Yazoo (from FFVII). First, Elyon.

I like her shaggy hairstyle in cartoon a lot! It is a reason for Kane/Phobos to has his hair so wild! But in a comic book her silhouette is much closer to Weira and they're said to be very look alike, so I've came with a compromise between comic and cartoon versions. Her iconic sweater is a noticeable detail too, plus it's purple and purple always gives a magical and mystique vibe.

I'm not gonna lie: as a kid, I've never been fond of her. As far as I know, most fans say the same as I do: she's too sugary sweet, naive, gullible and never had a chance to kick Phobos's ass. But as she's one of the characters in my fancomic In Breach, I followed my commom approach "You can't have a character in your script and feel a subjective grudge towards them". So I started asking myself why Elyon is acting the way she does. And I've discovered а very interesting fact.

Why she WOULDN'T act the way she does?

She is an ordinary teen girl, not the smartest, not the brightest (when it's not about amazing drawing skills that she share with Hay Lin. I mean, come on!). She isn't the most socially successful, as she mentioned in a cartoon "I'm a teenager without friends" (in rus dub). The ordinary "normal" type. Her only stable relationship is with Cornelia and Alchemy. She's so unnoticed that only Alchemy notified the police that Elyon is missing. And Alchemy is not a teacher, just a classmate. A family has disappeared and literally no one (including neighbors) told to police that lights were off for a long time.

Yes, we see Elyon in a background from time to time and she even says a phrase or two. She's not an outcast type, she hangs with the others BUT every time we see her involved it also involves Cornelia who was most likely the one who invited her. And she's always slightly away from the rest making me think she only does this to mix with her surroundings. We never see her hanging with her own company or even a single friend instead of the main heroes or Alchemy (who's also a Cornelia friend). Or Bryan... but it was a sad and short story. We never see her having a long dialogue unless we know who she really is. It's an arguable point tho as the story is about W.I.T.C.H girls and script writers probably were trying to keep a secret of her true nature.

But when Cedric appears! Unlike her furtive parents that always withhold something and Cornelia who's all about herself (with all the respect to Cornelia), Cedric just... listens to her. He shows compassion, non-judgmental approach and sound sincere. With him Elyon feel being special. Not to mention that Cornelia has betrayed her for Will (we know the reason behind it but Ely doesn't).

And then! Bang! Suddenly Elyon becomes THE special. The only one! She's like Harry Potter who got a letter from Hogwarts, like issekai character, the fucking King Arthur, THE CHOSEN ONE! Common people of Meridian are praying on her, servants are ready to perform any caprice, Miranda is being nice and ready to play with her, her older brother is such a sweet and cheerful person who would do just anything for her. She's like Coraline who found the other mother. And this case is actually so good that it should be in a video "How and why people fall for abusive relationship or being lured into a sect".

The only thing she can be accused is being too gullible but she acts as a person who grasps any straw. Who would you choose? Parents who lied to you for your whole life? Fake friends who replaced you with a new girl.

We can go deeper here. Remember the first scene with Elyon in a comic book? She got a low grade and instead of supporting her, her "friends" invent a humiliating punishment to hit on a stranger. Although they know she's quite shy! What a nice company we have here, don't we?

Don't get me wrong, teenagers may show low empathy due to their age. Cornelia isn't a bad person too. She's the most loyal friend one might only dream of! Both in a comic book and cartoon she stays at Elyon's side and refuse the idea of her friend being evil. Although Elyon did a lot in a comic book to be judged. Cornelia risks her own life to get to her. BUT she's still quite an narcissist type. Such people attract very specific friends: those who always stay in their shadow, never a threat or a competitor. You can see others confronting her in either passive-aggressive form or trying to show her a place like Irma does. But Elyon was with Cornelia since they were small kids. I have a theory that Elyon actually wins from it too: she seem very "normal" by hanging with a popular friend who would invite her to every party. And literally no one can say no to Cornelia, right? And Elyon seem present in the society. And at the same time she actually isn't.

So here's the whole picture: Elyon isn't a scapegoat outcast like Martin, she isn't labeled as "odd" like Hay Lin. BUT she's not a successful either. She's a blank one, that average conformal person that does their best to suit "normal" standarts. She's short on social contacts, she's breadcrumbed by Cornelia and has no friends outside her pack. As we remember, Alchemy is also Cornelia's friend. Both Browns are hideous, insanely quiet people who made a very, very isolated, incapsulated family to the point that no one even notices their absence. They do their best to lay low and they teach Elyon to act the same way (we know why, but it's quite unhealthy thing you know). I bet Eleanor is quite unhappy with Ely's marks, but I'm not sure if she's strict about it. She's been shown as a good parent in both comic and cartoon. Although the way Elyon agreed to throw them in prison in a comic so easily is something that keep my brain buzzing.

Sooo my idea is that her reliance problems has started long before the cartoon events. Her social contacts never worked properly to begin with and that's why Cedric got her so easily. Not to mention his speech skills. Elyon was a quiet, shady kid with a certain tendency for escapism. Drawing on her level is quite a specific trait that requires a lot of time spend alone and some wild imagination. I think while she never shows this in a cartoon and probably suppressed it, she was really envy of Cornelia, Irma, Hay Lin and even Taranee having huge and nice families, lots of friends and being very bright people. While she's... on the sidelines. There's a thick wall of white lies between her and her parents. She's... no one. Only Cedric shown her what being heard and important is.

Although all the above is cool, it makes her a bit bland to my personal taste. So in my AU called In Breach I given her a bit salt and spice by returning her some of her comic characteristics. I see her as a stalker type, very jealous and vengeful, but too afraid of showing aggression and staring a feud. She would write some really nasty fanfiction about her foes and spread rumors, make ugly caricature on Grumper sisters. Might even play a nasty prank on someone if she can get away unnoticed. But nothing violent, just humiliating.

So, imagine this lost envious girl stumbling across another narcissist. Different from Cornelia, quite a violent type. The one who seem to be afraid of no one. Like, literally not a single person can tell him what to do - even the police (on a first glance. In reality, he's afraid of jail as fuck). The one who questions the moral, the normality, the good and evil. AND telling her this is what she can and should be. WELL WELL WELL WHO COULD THAT BE)

Also, a song that must be a soundtrack for her kicking Phobos's butt in a cartoon.

#w.i.t.c.h. #w.i.t.c.h fanart #w.i.t.c.h #elyon escanor #w.i.t.c.h elyon #w.i.t.c.h. elyon #art challenge #Spotify #draw fanart of a character #elyon brown

[sevensoulmates]

I always make a point to listen very closely to what the lyrics are saying in the music over certain scenes because 911 is ANYTHING but subtle when it comes to their music choices.

The song that's playing during the montage of Eddie trying and failing to make a connection with women while golfing/hiking is interesting.

"I got High hopes, high hopes , That tomorrow's where it all begins , I'll be somebody's daughter , I'll be somebody's friend , I'll be somebody's part-time lover again , Chased by the devil down a one-way street , Made it out alive , Now I'm back on my feet , I got high hopes"

These lyrics are so interesting to me because it's once again placing Eddie only in relation to who he can be to other people. A son, a friend, a father. Never just him.

But what also stood out to me was the lines "somebody's part-time lover again" and "chased by the devil down a one-way street".

I googled both these phrases and didn't really find much "official" meaning.

But to me "somebody's part-time lover" really does encapsulate how all of Eddie's romantic relationships on the show have been. You see bits and pieces of it, flashes, like his romantic relationships are a sideplot in his own life. I also took it to mean feeling half-hearted about a relationship you're in too. Like how with Ana he was going through the motions, like how in this very montage he's forcing himself once again to go through the motions of trying to force a meet-cute, like he will once again with Marisol by the end of the season. Marisol once again feels like something shoehorned, something forced, someone for Eddie to be another "part-time lover" to.

The other line "chased by the devil down a one-way street" to me, indicates running from a supposed "devil" (ie. something you believe to be 'bad'), repressing something 'wrong' about yourself that you refuse to acknowledge. And the "one way street" to me indicates an illusion of only being able to go in one direction, feeling like you can only be able to take one path, and why does he run as fast as he can down this one-way street? Because's he running from the "devil", the thing he's repressing, the thing he won't let himself acknowledge. Because, Eddie, you're running. You're not in a car. You can choose to turn around and walk in the other direction, you just refuse to face this illusionary "devil".

Even the portion of the song that we're supposed to be paying attention to, the "high hopes" part, feels off. Because high hopes usually lead to what? Disappointment. "High Hopes" are expectations, literally. By the end of this montage every one of his "hopes" are dashed. Eddie has these expectations for himself that he wants to live up to, but when he can't, he'll just feel more disappointed. He'll have these high hopes about a relationship with Marisol only to be let down because he thinks he'll develop this deep, amazing connection with her but more than likely he just won't because those kinds of relationships DO NOT (I emphasize again they DO NOT) happen that quickly looking at you Evan "she sees me better than anyone after 1 date" Buckley.

It's just interesting that the song that's supposed to represent Eddie really moving on and being open to love and putting himself out there centers on only who the person is in relation to others, half-hearted romantic relationships, and running from something repressed.

#911 abc #eddie diaz #6x17 #911 meta #eddie meta #does anyone know what this whole song is called? #because I literally could not find it anywhere #also sorry I'm being super rambley tonight #this blog is my void and I am screaming into it #I also really want to write a whole nother fucking post about Eddie wanting chemistry and the implications of that #I didn't get to write a lot of meta when s6 was airing so I am making up for lost time

[bestworstcase]

man jaune is not a reliable source of information is he

“you’re the one who gives afterans to the tree” “i help them return to the ever after, yes”—this is not new information the cat literally told them exactly this like an hour ago. “i’m not taking you there to ascend, i’m taking you there because you all have such delightful information for me!”—which is what their entire plan was, feed the cat information in exchange for being led to the tree, because they decided they needed to get to the tree. “you pretended like you’d never heard of the story”—the cat didn’t know that alyx wrote a book but does know why ascension isn’t in the story; it’s still entirely unclear whether they understand that these two things are the same thing as far as the girls are concerned

“what happened when you took alyx and lewis to the tree” “i… i don’t know. she told me she would take me with her, through the door to remnant, but… she tricked me”—the cat says they didn’t share any of this because they never asked, and when ruby asks directly they give an honest answer. “just like all of you… you only want to use me in the same way i’ve only seen others as sources for knowledge and entertainment; well, at least now i know what not to do”—the cat isn’t angry or even particularly upset with them, and their acknowledgment of how the girls hurt them goes hand in hand with acknowledgment of how they hurt the girls, and then they just—not only leave but they take the crossroads with them. (“i thought there was more to the story,” they thought this storm was an opportunity to clear the air and get the whole story out there, but these three have already made up their minds, and the cat recognizes that they messed up, so they’re not going to leave the girls just stuck here if that’s not where they want to be)

“thank you for this lesson, ruby. rose, huntress. i’ll be on my way now.” <- truly insatiable hunger for knowledge, huh. but also grabs them by the scruff why did you phrase it like that what are your secrets

meanwhile yang and blake don’t have this particular baggage so they get split off from the rest and, with no real reason not to, figure out and then commit to playing by the ever after’s rules—okay, we make progress when we say stuff about each other that we’ve never said before, let’s be brave and completely honest with each other so we can get where we want to go—with the result that they solve the riddle and make it out of the storm on their own.

it’s interesting too that Yet Again ruby has been interrupted before she can answer one of the ever after’s challenges—the herbalist’s trial, the blacksmith’s offer, now this. (the cat was the one who interrupted, each time.) (and now the cat has left them.) and jaune + weiss + ruby are all given the same crossroads because they all have the same problem, which is festering guilt about the things they couldn’t save (penny for jaune, atlas for weiss) or couldn’t be (summer for ruby)

ruby did NOT want crescent rose back holy shit

neither jaune nor the cat knows what actually happened to lewis (and i mean. his name is lewis. so. question mark. if these kids were real which one of them really made it home to tell the story, and if these kids were fictional—stares hard at “like this whole world was simply make-believe and the rules didn’t apply to her” don’t think i missed THAT—then alyx/lewis being split halves of the singular character who made it into the book is really. hmmm. one is kind and clever and the other thinks the world is her personal fairytale, huh.) also “she lost all trust in us, started accusing us of things, the more i tried to get the story back on track the more she distrusted me” well yeah. funny how that happens when you treat someone like a storybook character you need to railroad into a specific path? jaune’s belief that that’s what the cat does is exactly why he hates the cat!

i want to know why jaune is so sure that alyx returned to remnant but lewis never made it home

#rwby v9 spoilers #learning lessons left and right— #the lesson alyx learned broke her trust in both her guides

[lutawolf]

Love In the Air Ep 11 Review & Running Commentary

My previous reviews and commentary can be found here. One thing I want to talk about is that a lot of people think Pai is too persistent. We are talking about fantasy guys. MAME writes what survivors dream about. We have very high and thick walls. We are brisk and tough to the point we often feel unlovable. It will take someone persistent to get through/over the moat we have around ourselves. Remember, I threw away my husband's number away four times and only took it on the fifth. I'm not saying that the way Pai went about thing is not problematic, I'm saying that in a survivor's fantasy. He damn attractive.

So we left off with a sleep over in which Pai slept on the floor. They both stared adoringly at their palms. This series starts with Pai in his office working. His work wife might not kill him. Oh, she making a play. LOVE the look coming from work wife. Love the sound effects, yeah sorry hun. He's gone. You don't stand a chance.

Look at that bite... Oh me likes. "I suggest using the phone instead of staring at it." also "Since your mom says you've been tamed."

"Everyone acting like you are in control of me." If this is the exact wording. That some interesting turn of phrase. His smile says he doesn't care if everyone thinks that. Niiiiiice. Here we go. We are seeing Pai be persistent. Honestly if Pai is a Dom even a switch, he got some Primal in there. He enjoys this too much not to. Pai starts naming off food to Sky and sky teases him to go to Beijing. Oh don't think he won't Sky. Have you met the determined boy? Love it! "Don't dare me."

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Sky told him he wanted stewed eggs. He essentially consented to him coming over. There is a big ass crack in that wall. Hahahah! "Looks like I really am under his control. voluntarily" Lets see how things unfold but we might be dealing with a switch couple. Awwww, he staring at his palm. So is Sky! Woot! Awww, grumpy boy is upset it's fading.

Here comes dorky Rain. Love the boy but he a dork. Did he really hold that poster up to his eye?! 🤣🤣🤣 This stupid act of his!! You know damn well he knows but he over here teasing. Read my palm too! 🤣 At least I hope he is teasing... He can't be that stupid right? OH yeah Sky got some Sadist in him. Sky for sure being a Dom here and look how Rain is nodding. I love this D/s friendship soooooo much!!! At this moment, I need to take the time to apologize. I'm apologizing to the person who sent me an ASK about Sky being Dom. I laughed and was like "NO!" because I was basing my opinion on the book. To which he is not but they are clearly making this a D/s friendship in which Sky is the Dom. So he is a switch. I'm sorry! When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong.

Here come Pai with the food! And here comes nosey land lady. He knows exactly who to butter up, doesn't he. The person always in the know. HAHAHAHA, not that little douche canoe! Telling her that they are but not to tell anyone because Sky is shy. I'm dead. You are not very good at keeping secrets. No, you are not. Ohhhh, I should have called you demon. Look at you scoring a copy of the key. You a smooth operator. I love that she at least owns it. "There are no such things as secrets." Ahh that fucking smile on his face and thanking her for spreading the news. He so conniving and proud of himself.

Aww, look at sleepy baby and Pai drove two hours for his baby. Okay, this is fucking cute. The way he cups his cheek and asks him if he got sleep. Sky being all soft. Now they are in the apartment and Sky is too tired to open the bag. Pai finding him all kinds of adorable. This man gone! Yeah ain't no saving this man, he is feeding him. And he is doing dishes. 👀👀👀 Now look at him telling him to go to bed. He is telling him, no suggestion and now guiding him to bed. More and more I'm thinking these bitches are switches. "Change your clothes first." There is no asking, it's a command. Sky easily listens and just does it. Also notice he isn't uncomfortable with Pai undressing him. He isn't sick, he is just tired but in that tired state if he didn't trust Pai this would be a trigger. "You still waited for me even though you were this sleepy." See, Pai ain't no Dummy Dummy. Sky wanted to because he knew Pai was coming and that he would have to open the door. He could have called and cancelled but he wanted to see him. Now look at him cuddling into Pai. He's sleepy but he is talking coherently. This is trust guys. Otherwise everything right here would cause some ptsd.

Ohhhh, he told Pai that his drawing on his palm is fading. Asking him what he should do. Ugh, so fucking cute. The moment Pai realizes he has got his prey at least by the tail. Oh damn, that kiss and that hand going right for skin. I'm all verklempt. OH OH OH! It was a hallucination caused by cum blockage. Clearly the desperate man is seeing mirages. So he settle for kissing his palm instead, and a face sniff. Cute! A cheek kiss and then he leaves.

I love Pai's mom! Ha! look at his brother calling him out. Drew it yourself, his ass. 🤣🤣🤣 I love how laid back Pai is. It's really what Sky needs, someone who is passionate in bed but isn't easily upset.

Oh, Damn. Sky wrong tone! Pai is gonna come racing. Aww, look at how concerned Pai is, even turning Sky around to look at him. See you guys. Pai is so laid back. He gives Sky a look, see that look on his face. He mad but there is no yelling. He doesn't do anything to startle Sky. He very calmly says " you called me here to work." Sky is like, oh shit, but I need help! Sky begins freaking out. Pai grabs both arms... ohhh this could be a trigger but nope it just gets Sky's attention. Pai's voice is slightly louder but not a yell. I never heard it get higher than Sky's own voice, more like he is pitching it to be heard. Okay, here is a Dom voice. "I don't mind you calling me here. I can come no matter how far I have to drive. But could you at least tell me? You called me and sounded like you were crying. You didn't answer your phone. Have you ever thought that I might be worried?" Takes a calming breath. "I might be a psychotic stalker in your eyes." See even he can see he is a bit much. Doesn't mean he'll stop or that we want him to. "But please understand how worried I am of you." Look at Sky, he isn't interrupting but listening. "I'm sorry." "Forget it. I could only blame myself." "P'Pai, I didn't mean to worry you. I'm sorry."

When all else fails. Kiss him. We know that works. It short circuits his brain. We see *Act A Fool* *Act A Fool* *Act A Fool* circling his head where stars should be.

He tells him sorry once again. "Don't be mad at me." Oh baby boy, don't worry. You've got this one by the balls. "Please help me. Pretty please." OMG look at him pulling the "You're cute when you smile." I fucking love Sky. Look at Sky going all soft. His walls are starting to soften. We got more than a crack now. Look at Sky getting all upset that Pai hurt himself. Oh damn Pai, I know you upset but you just upset your baby. Look at that face when you yanked your hand away. Dude, not gonna lie, this is totally how I act when I am mad. I keep a very tight control of my temper. If I get to yelling point, just run. This is much more me and this is exactly how my husband acts with much more jokes thrown in. Cause both him and the kids have figured out that if I laugh, I can't stay mad. Real quick let's talk about Sky's shirt... More than friends but less than lovers. LOVE IT!

Oh, Pai asleep in the bed without a shirt and Sky sliding in to lay next to him. Okay then. He upgrading. Inner dialogue. He doesn't want Pai to be mad at him any more. Oh damn, he really upgraded cause Sky getting close. Ahh there we go, touching. See touching is funny. If not done right it causes flash backs but if done right it can help keep them at bay.

Now that Boo boy got some sleep he is less in his feels. Tells Sky to catch some more sleep. Look how happy Sky is that his head is getting patted again. Then he drives him to school on the bike. Bet that was a pain in the ass. Sky apologizes once again.

"Let me punish you with a kiss." "Crazy." "What it's a punishment." "You think it's funny." "Wanna hear me laugh." Huge smile and then assures him that he isn't angry anymore. See, he just had to take the time to think it through. See the positives that Sky thought of him just like other students think to call their boyfriends to help with school projects. Bet Rain uses Payu. In more ways then one. "Besides the reword is worth it." "What a cheap reward." Damn see how much value he puts on himself. Sky is struggling with some serious self esteem issues. Again, this is very normal for a SA survivor. "Working all night in exchange for one kiss." "Everyone places different value on different things." "To me, you are priceless." See, he is just what Sky needs. "You can always call me when your in trouble. Explain to me first, don't scare me like yesterday." "Okay." and Sky nods. Guideline understood and heard.

So, Pai, are you okay? Are you okay, Pai? You've been hit by. You've been struck dumb by A smooth criminal. "I've received my punishment, get home safe." AHAHAHA "Can you do it one more time? I wasn't prepared!" "Just leave already!" 🤣🤣🤣

I know you are not sitting there touching your lip. You simp. Nah, I'm gonna shut up cause you deserve this. Go on then.

SEE!!!! Payu had to help Rain!!! That is what you do. You ask for help from your partner. The coconut is totally clueless to his friend because he is just as fucking gone. HAHAHA, what's wrong with you. How dare you not call Rain out, he is clearly expecting it. There are requirements in D/s friendships, when the brat is acting like a brat that's supposed to get some notice. 🤣🤣🤣 Fuck, I love these two together. "It's good you know. I was just trying to ignore you." But a brats gonna brat! You go Sky. You should brag about your man too. Go head then. Oh! Look at the brat breaking out the finger but I'm gonna let you cause this is fun. You fucking coconut are too easily distracted. You and the dog from Up got a lot in common. *squirrel*

Aww. He left him food. Sky knows his ship is sinking. It's okay though Pai is clearly gone too with all this food he is ordering. Oh, that girl got his number. She know that Pai wants Sky's texts. Oh, look at that flirting going on between text.

"He's so cute. I just want to eat him up." You should really get on with that. I mean, I don't know about Sky but I'm okay with it. Look at him deleting all the sneaky links. Ohhhh, that's so fucking cute!! I love it!!

Now Sky over here looking moon struck. Looking at the ugly ass drawing that his boyfriend drew and smiling. You are gutting me Sky, stop but seriously these are again, very typical SA survivor thoughts. He put that drawing on the wall. Seriously he did. So cute. "Then please shut your mouth." 🤣🤣🤣 Oh Pai, you got yourself in trouble. Now you gonna be punished. Oh Oh, look at that scared look on his face. Pai knows he is in deep shit now but he thinks he got a paddle.

I should not enjoy this moment as much as I do but I'm a Sadist so, I am. "Wouldn't it be easier if you just went home. Why are you putting in so much effort for a one night stand." "I told you that it wouldn't be easy to drive me away." I'm not the only one who is a sadist. "Then make it spotless." 🤣🤣🤣 Look at him trying to push him away. Good luck with that. I'm only saying that because I know you can't. As my bestie @victooooorious said. Sky saying "When will you get bored of me." is such a mood. "You want an honest answer or sweet words?" Come on, I think we all know what Sky will choose. "I don't know. I won't know until that day comes." See in the book, he doesn't see it happening but he also knows that Sky won't trust that. "But you'll get bored someday?" "What are you so scared of?" Then he pulls him near. "It's alright, I'll be here. I won't leave you." Ohh. We are getting inner dialogue. You said that so confidently. How much do you like him, Pai? "Okay, I give in." "Wait, wait, what do you mean? Please don't joke with me." "I meant exactly what I said. I won't stop you anymore." "Wait, I didn't do all this just to sleep with you." Look whose learned communication. Fuck boy no more. "Fine I want to do it but it's not the whole reason. I came here because I wanted to see you. I'm fine with just making out." Anybody else just fall in love with him. No just me? Okay then. "But it's nice if I could take your whole body." Okay, so a little fuck boy is still in here but HE RECOGNIZED IT! "I sound like a dick! Forget it!" "I'm not looking for just sex from you."

He's checking again. He is clearly wanting 100% consent this time, no confusion. Boy learning communication. "I'll take both your body and heart." So neither of these actors have any issues going for that nipple. Just want to point out that difference. Also that skill at unzipping those pants, yeah no it's not cause he is a boy. That's somebody who knows his way around it. Oh, this is without a doubt love making. They're both so committed to each other. "Pai, hurry up and get bored of me soon." I don't want my heart broken any more than it is. Meanwhile Pai is hearing, please don't ever get board of me. Because that's really what Sky is saying. He doesn't want you to ever get bored of him.

Yeah, you totally slept with him because you want him to stop pestering you. We believe you.

Ohh, the getting to know you stage. I'm not judging this order. Look after I didn't throw away hubby's number, I called him for a one night stand... It's turned into the longest one night stand of my life. I love that Sky can talk to Pai about his life with a smile. You know being alone at such a young age was tough, it's gonna have effects but he looks at the positives. Pai is also connected and asking important questions.

Ahh, and the nipple piercing is brought up. You can see the sensitivity on the face but it's also not overwhelming. Remember when I talk about how touch can trigger but when done right it can help block the triggers. It can help you talk about stuff that are normally painful. It's because your grounded in the here and now. It takes being skin to skin with someone you trust, just like aftercare for a sub drop.

Ohhh, look at that though. Pai doesn't want the nipple rings put in anymore. Nothing that will remind Sky of the ex. Did your dumb ass really ask if Sky still like him? Douche Canoe. Sky tries to pull back but Pai ain't having it. "I always come across assholes." "That's not true at all. You won't come across another guy like me even if you were reborn three times." "Your full of yourself." All the cute cuddling. Sky totally deserves it. "I'm so happy." Sky's like, that's nice, go shower. You stink. Yet, I'm gonna cuddle with the shirt that you cleaned in. "How could I get bored of you. All I do is fall for you more."

Ahhhhh.... He is waiting for Sky. Look how bashful Sky is and Sky immediately notices the pin. Fuck me but Rain is a white crayon. It's bad when Sig, SIG! is smarter than you. Go ask that auntie she know. I'm so fucking dead. I'm crying with laughter. These fucking lovely bunch of coconuts. 🥥🥥

If you don't like it then give me a hickey!!!!!!!!!! Yes, you absolutely should. "I love when you claim ownership."

Fuck this episode what so sweet it almost put me in a diabetic coma. What a way to go though. Hell to the yeah. Am I right or am I right!?

Okay so we only have two episodes left. I'm expecting the next one to kill us. I will not even look at anything until I've gotten a trigger warning. I'll post for you guys. For those of you risking it, if your a survivor please buddy watch. If you do get triggered it's helpful to have someone there to ground you. See you guys next week, hope you enjoyed this. This is dedicated as always to the Coconut Mafia for the constant support and love. Special shout out to @notfreetoday @ellaspore @thebirkenstocksocialist @tleighblack @tabbygray and @hael987

#love in the air the series #love in the air series #love in the air #lita #love in the air kink #luta talks kink #coconuts mafia

[agirlwiththoughtsandnegativity]

Dear Reader (by Taylor Swift) Analysis. I suddenly got obsessed with this song so here’s an analysis of the whole thing. please read it took me like 30 minutes 🙏 warning: it’s a bit long

This whole song is extremely interesting. It is one of Taylor’s songs that addresses not only her fame, but also how she sees herself, and her flaws. It’s almost like anti hero, but somehow more self critical. At the conclusion of the song, we see Taylor is really trying to tell us that we shouldn’t be looking up to her, a flawed and broken person, but she is too famous and too perfect to the public. She “shines too bright” for us to look away now, and it is impossible to give up the fame at this point. 

Dear reader

If it feels like a trap, you're already in one

The song opens with the phrase “dear reader”, a pattern which continues throughout the rest of the song. We can only assume that this reader she is addressing is us, the fans. “If it feels like a trap, you’re already in one” it is unclear if Taylor is just starting off with giving us life advice here, or if this is addressing something relating to her.

This pattern follows for the rest of the verse, lines starting with “dear reader” and the ending with a piece of life advice:

Dear reader

Get out your map, pick somewhere and just run

Dear reader

Burn all the files, desert all your past lives

And if you don't recognize yourself

That means you did it right

Does this advice have to do with Taylor? We can perhaps relate the map line to Taylor disappearing after the feud in 2017, or perhaps running from the paparazzi and press. The second advice, about burning files and deserting past lives, could possibly be about Taylor reinventing herself during each era. “And if you don’t recognize yourself, that means you did it right” could relate to her most drastic changes, like going pop and her bad girl rebellious reinventing for the Reputation era. It could possibly be Taylor stating that these “transformations” or “eras” do make her feel different not only in her work, but in her personal life too. It’s possible Taylor is also stating that she has become so famous/popular that not only is the brand of Taylor Swift and her artwork getting reinvented, she herself must be too.

Never take advice from someone who's falling apart

Never take advice from someone who's falling apart

(You should find another)

Directly after giving us lots of advice, Taylor follows it up by saying “never take advice from someone who’s falling apart”. Is this her telling us to forget all the advice she has just shared, to not listen to not trust it? Or should we not even listen to this advice either? I believe this is Taylor sharing that she feels like she cannot give us advice or be a role model because she is not doing well. She is saying not to base ourselves off of her, not to listen to things she says because she is falling apart, yet we all believe her to be perfectly fine. It is contradicting to put this right after her advice, but I believe that is the point. At the end, Taylor says “you should find another” this is the beginning of a later line “you should find another guiding light, but I shine so bright”. Not only is it the beginning of that line, I think it can also be read as it’s own line. The fans should find another idol, role model, favourite, etc. because she is falling apart.

Dear reader

Bend when you can, snap when you have to

Dear reader

You don't have to answer, just 'cause they asked you

Again, after telling us not to listen to her advice, she gives us advice again. It is hard to decipher this, but I think the deeper meaning could be she so desperately wants to be giving us this good advice, but feels hypocritical because she is falling apart. “Bend when you can, snap when you have to” she is telling us to compromise, to only give in when we really, really need to. “You don’t have to answer just cause they asked you.” Don’t give everyone everything they want or ask for. This follows the same train of thought as bending when you can and snapping when you have to.

(You should find another)

Taylor throws this line in there again. Could it be said that it’s almost like her interrupting herself, reminding us (and her) not to listen to this advice? It could also be noted that this advice does not seem to be bad advice, depending on your opinion/situation you apply it to I suppose, but perhaps Taylor believes she is not qualified to tell it.

Dear reader

The greatest of luxuries is your secrets

Dear reader

When you aim at the devil make sure you don't miss

“The greatest of luxuries is your secrets” Taylor would know this better than anyone. When you have her kind of fame, can you really have secrets? In her own words, celebrities get their secrets splashed in the news front page. 

“When you aim at the devil, make sure you don’t miss.” Perhaps Taylor is saying that you’re sure someone is the devil before you shoot, that they are enemy instead of friend. Or maybe she’s saying to make sure you are strong enough to make that shot before you attempt it. Is she inferring to a personal experience of hers? I couldn’t be sure, especially depending on which interpretation of it we’re talking about.

Never take advice from someone who's falling apart

Never take advice from someone who's falling apart

Again, after her advice she tells us to not trust this advice, to not take it from her. 

So I wander through these nights

I prefer hiding in plain sight

Now we launch into the bridge, which I think is one of the most telling and personal parts of the song. “I prefer hiding in plain sight” Taylor is perfect to us, we don’t say she is falling apart, yet here she is telling it to us directly, and yet so many would still take her advice. Even after releasing songs like “My tears ricchoet” or “this is me trying” or “mirrorball” many still see her as perfect and unflawed. She is hiding this in plain sight.

My fourth drink in my hand

These desperate prayers of a cursed man

“My fourth drink in my hand” is very very very very interesting because many fans have been worried about Taylor’s alcohol consumption for awhile. She mentions drinking a lot more on recent albums, lots more pictures of her holding wine being released, and if I’m not mistaken her saying at the eras tour that she was “borderline alcoholic” during the pandemic. This line seems to be Taylor admitting to relying on drink to escape her mind, to forget that she is falling apart. The second line could be a bit confusing. Who is this “cursed man” that is praying, and what are they praying for? Is this a character in Taylor’s life, or could this “cursed man” just be Taylor herself?

Spilling out to you for free

But darling, darling, please

You wouldn't take my word for it

If you knew who was talking

“Spilling out to you for free” Taylor shares her songs and lyrics with us for free, all her deepest feelings public and on the radio. “But darling, darling, please. You wouldn’t take my word for it if you knew who was talking” Taylor almost seems to be begging now, for us to see she is not perfect and not the person we should be listening to this advice from. “If you knew who was talking” If we knew who she really was, we wouldn’t look up to her or trust her words.

If you knew where I was walking

To a house, not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there

“If you knew where I was walking” again, if we really knew Taylor past how she presents herself, we would not feel the same way about her. “To a house, not a home, all alone cause nobody’s there.” Is this a literal house, Taylor feeling lonely in her big mansion, or is it metaphorical? Could this perhaps relate to what is discussed in “Tolerate It”, saying the man she is in a relationship isn’t putting effort into it, isn’t paying attention to her, and so she feels alone? Or could it perhaps refer to her mind, where she feels lonely and like no one gets her? Or is she too famous now to have any real friends?

Where I pace in my pen and

My friends found friends who care

No one sees when you lose

When you're playing solitaire

“Where I pace in my pen” Some people pace to think, but Taylor writes songs to think. That is her method of seeing her thoughts more clearly. “My friends found friends who care” Is Taylor saying here that she is a bad friend? Or does she have bad friends? Perhaps we could also read from this that Taylor gets so caught up in her work it can seem to others in her life that she doesn’t care about them. We already know she is constantly working and writing songs. “No one sees when you lose when you’re playing solitaire” we can guess at the fact that fame and constant attention from the press could make Taylor feel isolated. She feels as if she is “playing solitaire” and so no one sees her losses, including us, blinded by the image she wants us to see.

You should find another guiding light

Guiding light

But I shine so bright

You should find another guiding light

Guiding light

But I shine so bright x2

You should find another

She ends the song in her telling us this full line “you should find another guiding light but I shine so bright” which she repeats a few times. She is saying you should find someone else to look up to, another idol, but at the same time she knows how famous she is, how impossible it is to look away from her. How she is plastered across every tabloid and newspaper and piece of media, on billboards and on the radio. And she knows how strong her “perfect” image is. How easy it is for her fans to see her as that. She is saying she shouldn’t be the guiding light, she is falling apart and is not qualified for it, but oh how she seems like she is.

The song ends on the line that has been going in and out the whole song. “You should find another”. This is the message she has really been trying to share all of the song. The message is that we should find another. We shouldn’t be Taylor’s fans, shouldn’t idolize her, shouldn’t follow her advice or look up to her, because she is falling apart and a flawed person who pretends to be perfect. At the end of the song, it almost seems like she is begging us (the reader) to understand this, and the thing is, we probably still don’t.

Dear reader, thanks for reading this, especially if you read it all the way through lol. I hope it made sense and was entertaining, not just me rambling, I really did try my best.

#I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT XX #HOPEFULLY I SOUND SMART AND NOT STUPID #writing #taylor swift #the eras tour #swifties #midnights #dear reader #my writing #taylor swift eras tour #lyric analysis #songs #ttpd #ts ttpd #ts11

[introvertedlass]

Every time I come on here I see blogs fighting about a wedding and engagement lol.

You are one of the most level-headed blogs on here so I thought maybe you'd appreciate this. If you don't, totally okay as well.

I've been pretty convinced of whose behind the "not so" recent engagement/dating rumors but I'm also suspicious of one of the earliest DM Anons that started talking about them dating back in like Jan-Feb 2022. I hope someone somewhere has the SS of the DM who said, "Can confirm CE/AB have been dating for OVER A YEAR." I don't remember the exact phrasing, but they used the exact over a year term, back in Jan 2022. If my memory serves correct, this same anon alluded to AB's circle knowing about it bc it being known in PT.

Like 10 months later, the People mag announcement drops and literally uses the phrase "over a year." Except, This was like 10 months later, so over a year from Jan 2022, according to the DM anon, would mean they met back in like early 2021 or earlier (2020??) which would be virtually impossible due to Covid restrictions and the fact that there's concrete Justin/AB IG proof that she was entertaining Lucas Bravo during late 2020-2021. However, this DOES potentially support the theory that the earliest DM anon was pushing a narrative for AB/CE to go public maybe spring 2022 (like some ppl theorized, due to AB's Paris movie/WN supposed to be dropping earlier). That people announcement also steered 1000% in AB's favor. Yes, it's CE's teams go to mag, but the majority of the article was singing AB's (limited praises), saying she was some type of humanitarian and can speak so many languages, and all of his fam/friends adore her. All they wrote about CE was that he was the SMA (lol). It felt very much like we're doing this for you, AB - so you get the spotlight. And yes, her show dropped that same day.

I'm sorry...but this never really sat right with me. Her debut 1000% took away from CE's SMA announcement, and the fans went berserk and the GP was also pretty blindsided. Nobody was really happy about it but just confused and the fans were melting down and angry. The only person who really benefited from all this was AB, who - at the time, seemed pretty happy about all the new attention and followers she was getting.

Something somewhere went wrong to cause her to post her shower nightmare. But since then, the "engagement" rumors started to make traction - first, from the dumb Pantene twitter, and later, making its way to the lame radar online gossip rag. The radar online article ending with, "we have reached out to CE's reps and awaiting a comment or response." Interesting that nobody needed to ask AB's rep, just CE's. Either she's that irrelevant even to third rate tabloids, or...you know the rest. Every single time, the engagement rumors push "AB is so amazing, CE is so in love, all of his fam/friend adore her, she's so modest and private, but he wants to go big for her".

PT/Brazil tabloids keep pushing the narrative, and more and more ppl are supposedly confirming, including Justin's Dad? (LOL)

All people have to do is look at who is continuously benefiting from these rumors. Even if every single one of AB's family members and ppl she went to grammar school with "confirm" the wedding to tabloids, I'm still not buying it. Mostly because AB may literally be the dumbest human on the planet if she STILL thinks that getting every single person on her turf confirming/trolling on behalf of her, doesn't make her just as guilty. Girl...you saying nothing and pretending you don't care and don't troll, but your cousin's sister's fiancé's best friend talks to tabloids confirming your marriage...who do you think all of this will trace back to? (Why would CE's team need to ask your grandma's hairdresser to spill deets to a tabloid? They could literally just go to TMZ themselves LOL bc of his status in HW)

It's completely valid for team real to believe they are getting married. By all "appearances," it makes more sense they would be than not, simply bc they made the relationship public and their names are attached to each other, and neither has denied the rumors. So team real does have ammo, and the Queen blog believing their source doesn't make them liars, it just makes their source convincing enough for them to believe them.

But what I need people to remember is that there's one person who's benefiting from these engagement rumors and it's not CE. His family/friends have virtually gone into hiding to avoid having to be harassed every time more rumors pop up. His fanbase is the one threatening to drop him if he gets married to her. AB's fanbase doesn't seem to care, and if she married him, it wouldn't be bad for her career or image, it would only serve her good. It's pretty darn easy to figure out who's most likely pushing the rumors and continuously in the most roundabout and manipulative ways. Whose relevancy will completely fall back into obscurity if the rumors don't end up being true? Whose name has benefited from these rumors since late 2021, and now has ppl outside of PT talking about them, simply bc they "got into a relationship?"

Thank you for sharing this detailed ask. You bring up a lot of valid points that explain what many of us having been thinking since the start of this show. And, tbh there have been times where I can see why people could see this as real. Not judging them, people believe what they believe- me included. However there have been so many anomalies for me that it is impossible to believe that this is anything but a manufactured show. I appreciate you writing this in such a concise manner as it has reaffirmed my thinking. 🙂

#chris evans #pr nightmare

[mooremars]

Camelot 2023 Act 2 ramblings about the music and book and also the visuals again because turns out one post wasn't enough.

I still cannot possibly recommend anyone actually read this because it is so absurdly, comically long but I still needed to get even more feelings out.

Act 2, Scene 1: The castle courtyard one year later:

• "We shouldn't be alone together" like girl

• I love how she's almost exasperated by it

• When she fantasized about this all-consuming high-stakes love she probably didn't think about how exhausting it would be to actually live with it all the time

• Like having this conversation every single month does sound exhausting

• The way she's actively trying to drive him out of Camelot, Genny is so much and I respect it

• She's really doing her best in a way that involves truly torturing Lance, he should really do some soul searching about why he loves someone who treats him this way

• "I've trained dogs to chase you"/"And those dogs were fast.. the expression his bark is worse than his bite that wasn't my experience"

• Sorkin slightly breaking the tension of this scene which is so needed

• "You're not English"/"Neither are you"/"I think that changed when I became queen of England"

• I also feel like there is a lot to unpack in this exchange

• "And when would I do that Genny?"

• The angst in that delivery

• If Ever I Should Leave You is so gorgeous

• I think it was Sorkin who basically said that the show doesn't need magic because the songs provide enough magic on their own and this is the perfect example

• Jordan Donica is tremendous

• I knew him from Charmed and it took me a bit to place him but holy shit

• I may have actually seen him before, I'd have to check but regardless I need to be paying attention to literally any theater he does because I want to go

• This applies to all of them, who am I kidding

• Anyway, he's amazing here and I am probably underselling him in this post because I only saw him half the times and so my memories are much less clear

• And my reference is closing which was not him by this point

• And the outro music (? sorry I know nothing about music) is absolutely stunning

• This song is so romantic but also very shallow

• They're fulfilling a version of love that is all big gestures and big feelings but not necessarily substance

• Because they're trying to fill a void in themselves using the other and when you do that, you can't see the person as an actual person

• Just an extension of your unmet need

• Which is too bad because I think if they weren't, they might actually like each other

• But fuck is this song so romantic

• Every lyric is good, the way they're sung, I think I may for the first time have use of the phrase swoon worthy

• Specifically the end

• "I have a thrilling engagement. I'm giving prizes at the potato show. I'm eager to find out what the qualities of a prize winning potato are"/"I'll be at your side Ma'am"/"Thank goodness for that, those potatoes can be dangerous"

• The lines are so funny and her delivery is so heartbreaking, I am suffering

• I do just love Genny so much and she deserves happiness dammit

• "So the rumors are true, the chain of wedlock is so heavy in Camelot it takes three to carry it"

• Mordred coming out with the one liners immediately

• "He's willing to make any old man a knight I see"

• Pelli immediately threatening violence, beautiful

• The whininess of "I shall be busy tomorrow afternoon" and slapping the bench

• Fourteen year old edgelord Mordred

• Very interesting to have him be a year younger than Arthur was when he became king, really underscoring how young he was

• "I was raising by a mother with a fatally broken heart. Makes for a dark childhood"

• Like do we think Mordred is just trying to drum up Arthur's sympathies or is this actually true?

• "And when you speak to the king, you should remember you're speaking to the king"

• Arthur literally never insists on any manner of kingly respect but his son is a little shit that he hates, so he will

• Love that

• "Dispatch to the court, the king has a child he fathered out of wedlock. Problem solved."

• The blackmail just instantly failing is very funny

• Also would love to know how the conversation about this between Genny and Arthur went

• "I'm not ashamed of you. You don't embarass me though it's not for lack of trying."

• That's too generous, Mordred is embarrassing

• "It's always been my wish that you and your mother stay here where I can take care of you both"/"Stay where, in the servants' quarters?"/"In any quarters you like"/"Except the queen's"

• I wonder if Mordred is the one who feels this way or if he's just parroting back what Morgan has said

• "I was a boy when I met your mother"/"And my mother turned you into a man"/"A man named Merlyn turned me into a man"/"That's a new bit of palace gossip"/"No you idiot, he was my teacher"

• Obviously sarcastic Arthur is always a treat and specifically the facial expression and tone of no you idiot

• But just so curious about Morgan and Arthur because Arthur gets pissed at that whole turned into a man bit

• And he has been pretty chill with Mordred being terrible for this whole scene

• He's very much not comfortable with what Mordred is saying and this is the only moment where Mordred gets under his skin and like that is very interesting

• "In this place the law applies equally to everyone"/"Even the king and queen?"/"Especially the king and queen"

• You are literally watching the light bulb pop over Mordred's head and it's played perfectly

• Everyone in this cast is perfect

• The Seven Deadly Virtues has no right to be this funny

• "Making my Beelzebubble burst" is my favorite but really this entire song is great

• It's such a petulant performance and it's perfect

Act 2, Scene 2: The King's study

• Another amazing bit of scene change music

• The intimacy of them spending their evening playing chess together and talking

• Presumably this is just what they do on a lot of nights and I love it

• I feel like there's definitely potential in a their relationship through chess fic

• Someone please

• I firmly believe they are at like a full 50-50 split in terms of who wins

• "Are you really reading while you're chasing me around the board?"/"Sorry I didn't hear you, I was reading and chasing you around the board"

• And his okay in the middle like he knows he set himself up to get mocked

• Making fun of each other is one of my favorite love languages

• Also same structure as Arthur telling her it will seem that she's rooting for Lancelot to lose and she says that's because she is rooting for Lancelot to lose

• It's just a fun little dialouge thing that I enjoy Genny doing

• Makes her lines feel hers

• I love that Arthur has Merlyn's final warning on his mind so naturally he consults Genny

• And then it devolving into a philosophical discussion about what is and is not possible

• "I was 10,000th person to try, how do you explain that?"/"9,999 people loosened it"

• A perfect and funny line that becomes sweet and profound later on, I will never not love that

• "We have greatness in our grasp, humanity does, but for some reason every time we see it we assign the responsibility to some supernatural force. Or to god."

• You would think given the structure of the love triangle that Arthur would be set up to scoff at the idea that god has responsibility for human greatness in contrast to Lance being extremely devout

• And like I do think Arthur and Genny are actually on the same page but I enjoy that she gets to voice that thought

• This is the woman who first ran away and then threw prayer on top after as a little afterthought so yeah perhaps Genny is not the best catholic

• "Perhaps when he died, his soul transmogrified-"/"What did I just say?"

• Arthur immediately needling her and doing that stupid little hand motion on transmogrified

• They're adorable

• "I enjoy seeing you get riled up"

• This is what you say to a woman you're about to call your business partner? In that way?

• I don't know who to blame because I can't tell if the line or delivery is more of the culprit

• No it's the delivery, I have literally put in the audio as proof

• The audacity, I'm obsessed

• He's got it so bad

• Could've had this Genny

• Like Mr. Purity of Soul who thinks women can't possibly understand politics has absolutely never considered the concept of female pleasure, for sure has never heard of foreplay, and definitely believes the clit and g-spot are both myths

• I love Lance but proposition: there's no way that man is good in bed

• Everything else mean I've said about Lance has been out of love but I love Genny and she doesn't deserve mediocre dick

• And yet he's playing by Jordan Donica so it is also valid and understandable

• Sorry, I digress but gotta find the humor in the whole none of them get to be happy business

• But actually I really appreciate that even in this tragic narrative with big ideas and a lot of angst, they get to have fun and be fun

• Even as their relationship is about to hit its breaking point, you can still tell they're not just torturedly in love but they actually like each other so much

• "And while you're enjoying it, let me ask you this... how often do you write to her?"

• Genny is attempting to play it cool but boy is she not

• The little pause between often and write and then to her, oof

• It's so soft but like the hint is there

• The silence while Arthur makes his move on the board, ugh

• "I send a letter a week"/"Every week?"/"Yes"/"For how long?"/"Mordred's fourteen, he came to me when he was ten so four years"/"That's 208 letters"/"I have a responsibility there, I'm trying to do-"/"Do the chivalrous thing"/"Yes"

• It's so painful to hear their deliveries and realize they're having two separate conversations where they're both upset and they don't understand the other person is feeling the same

• Like Genny getting alarmed at 208 letters, Arthur getting frustrated and defensive about it and cutting Genny's last line off, and then Genny delivery of do the chivalrous thing like she's so tired

• It is so besides the point but how exactly was Arthur expecting the fucking soap opera and/or sitcom situation he's trying to create going

• Like his piece of shit kid, his ex who hates him, his wife that he loves whose feelings for him he doesn't have a handle on, and his bestie whose feelings for his wife Arthur definitely does know

• I know castles are very big but I don't think they're big enough to make that situation good for anyone

• "You've never asked me her name"/"Is it Morgan Le Fay?"/"How did you know that?"/"And she's a scientist"

• Genny has been holding this in for a whole year and she's finally ready to use it

• She says it like she's caught Arthur in some kind of lie which obviously she hasn't but I do wonder if she's had this conversation in her head enough times that she's already thinking the worst

• "He blames me for her condition. All the more reason why I want them both to be here at the castle. She needs care."

• That long pause before condition and the way he says it like maybe Arthur also blames himself

• And they're still playing chess throughout this whole thing as if they can pretend that this conversation isn't causing them both pain

• The sound of the pieces getting moved on the board while during the tense silences, yes

• And now we get to me being emotionally destroyed

• This scene is a roller coaster and the writing and acting of it is perfect in every way

• "We're more than king and queen, you and I. Don't you think?"

• He's so unsure, he's always so unsure it is torture

• The emphasis on you

• But also he does in some way recognize that she's upset about Morgan and he gets so close but spectacularly fails

• Genny is so hopeful on the "Yes, yes I do"

• Him stammering out and Genny trying one more yes to get him to come up with something

• And then that something is business partners

• In my brain I am screaming

• I have done nothing but make fun of Arthur for business partners (and friends) since I first saw this show and I will continue to do it now

• However I do think that for him, in the context of his experience being thrust into royalty, he is actually expressing a very romantic sentiment

• He meets Genny and tells her about Camelot and she doesn't think she's worthy of that

• But here he's affirming that she is, that she's his partner in this and he recognizes her worth

• They talk in the second scene and she mentions that as a princess she doesn't have friends

• And here he's telling her that they are friends, that she isn't alone

• And we see how uncomfortable Arthur is being treated as the king

• And he's trying to tell Genny that he cares for her as a person and not just the queen he traded for in a treaty

• He wants her to see him that way because if she sees him as just Arthur and not the king, then maybe he can tell her how he feels

• But also maybe it you are a man and your confession of love to a woman contains the words "I know this is an unusual thing for a man to say about a woman but" you have turned down the wrong path

• "Yes. Friends. And business partners"

• Her delivery is so ice cold, it's perfect

• The fact that she says this and even Arthur picks up on her tone and knows he fucked up

• Arthur trying to fix things and being interrupted

• His frustration with himself is so heartbreaking

• I am still screaming in my brain just louder now

• Pelli is great but also he is the cause of so many of Arthur and Genny's resentments and miscommunications, the man's a magnet for drama

• He's so funny in this scene trying to complain to Arthur and Arthur already knowing all of Mordred's bullshit

• And yelling dammit so many times in the most perfect way like me with every person who has ever annoyed me

• "Because England doesn't have a law against limericks"

• The fact that even though they're in the middle of this weird emotional mess, Arthur looks to Genny when he's talking about how Pelli's question is complicated

• His thinking buddy

• And business partner

• Also the idea that Arthur is so chill with the fact that he doesn't have the answer, that he's laying groundwork for future progress instead of assuming it will be accomplished by him

• Which is just inherently a concept I think I struggle with, that the world will not change in all the ways it should in my lifetime but the work now still has to be done

• So I like to see it

• Not going to write out another good Sorkin speech about ideas but I love this one too rest assured

• And we've had a nice little break, now we're back to chess and Arthur trying to force out something coherent and me screaming in my brain again

• I still can't get over the way they're still playing chess I'm sorry

• Genny saying "you're in check" with a different delivery every time to convey her emotional state

• The range

• Arthur just trying so hard to come up with anything again, I am personally suffering

• "What I feel-"/"I thought it was right on the money"/"Oh you do?"

• Then I think he says "oh okay" but I don't even know

• They were so close this is the worst

• Still chess

• "Do you regret being born a princess?"/"I'm confident that most people would gladly trade their problems for mine"/"But you're not talking to them right now"

• Firstly the show does an amazing job recontexualizing What Do the Simple Folk Do and everything around it so A+ for that

• But also Arthur is so empathetic in this moment

• "I know you're sad sometimes. That you miss whatever life you were searching for the night you ran from the carriage. The simple joys of maidenhood you called it. You do a good job of hiding it from the court but when you feel sad you-"/"can talk to my business partner?"/"Well I think I might be good at cheering you up"

• The delivery is so sincere

• He sees her pain and he cares so much

• He feels responsible for the life that she missed out on by marrying him

• And he wants to help

• In many ways, he is terrible at expressing his feelings but again in some small respects, he does absolutely knock it out of the park

• Even if Genny can't see it

• "If there was a tournament for cheering you up, I think I'd win"/"Oh as long as there wasn't a bird nearby"/"It wasn't just any bird, it was a white tailed eagle both times"

• The way they move from emotional conversations and annoyed miscommunications back to humor with such ease

• Arthur's bird obsession continues to be one of the best bits of characterization ever

• Genny making fun of Arthur's various words for peasants

• I love What Do the Simple Folk Do so much

• It's just perfectly constructed and the rhymes are pretty genius

• I love every single lyric

• And I love that this song gives Arthur and Genny a chance to be charming and reconnect after the second half of act 1 and the beginning of act 2 were so focused on Genny and Lance

• And then this scene has so much going on that it reminds you why they're the couple of the show

• I didn't need reminding because I'm trash for them but other people might

• All of the little jokes between the lyrics are so funny

• The delivery of "the very last thing you should have is encouragement" is so much funnier than on the cast recording

• Like what is this? So charming

• "My father used to say I sang like an angel who'd been blessed with a particularly pretty singing voice"

• I'm so glad this is at least on the cast recording

• She plays it so straight, it's so good

• This may be my favorite of the songs

• And the dance, they're so cute, the squeeling kills me

• I can't adequately express how much I need to find a bootleg so I can witness this again, the whole scene really but mostly this

• I cannot handle the way they say "Genny"/"Your Majesty"

• Fuuuuck

• The groan in the audience at "a letter from my mother", the pure expression of fuck Mordred

• "He's been waiting a long time."/"Yes"/"My mother was his first, you know"/"I had that sense, yes"/"They say you never fully get over your first love"

• Genny hates Mordred so much and she's right

• He's hitting her exactly where it hurts but Arthur can't even tell

• Also fascinating that Mordred can actually see the dynamic between Genny and Arthur and Lance so much more clearly than the people involved

• "You think you might possibly be spending the night?"

• Like her deliveries were getting more panicked but then this one

• Like she can't even believe what she's hearing and he doesn't even get it

• The long silence after Mordred says Lance has the queen's protection detail

• As people make mmms in the audience

• And then their last little exchange

• Ouch

• Genny telling Arthur what she herself actually needs to be told and Arthur having no clue

• "His queen's in danger"

• Mordred is the absolute worst and it's perfect

• The reprise of the Simple Joys of Maidenhood, so sad and I can't handle it

• I think this is her moment of just fully sitting in the idea that her husband doesn't love her and sees her so completely separate from that that he doesn't even understand why she's so upset to see him dash away overnight to see another woman

• And that he therefore doesn't and won't love her in the way she's singing about

• And thinking that she has the knight pining for her but it isn't enough and sets up her trying to make it enough

• She's grown so much since she first sang the song but she still can't fill the void of wanting this kind of love

• But also knowing that kind of love isn't enough

• I love her

Act 2, Scene 3: The home of Morgan Le Fey/Guenevere's Chamber/ Castle corridor - on that evening

• The into music to Morgan is gorgeous, perhaps my favorite

• It's hard to introduce an important character this late into the show and make them so memorable, even if they've been hanging over the narrative for a while now

• And still have them knock it out of the park but once again, this show is perfectly cast

• The tension of this whole scene is everything

• Morgan's laugh and then "Jesus christ it's the king of England"

• Immediately sets her up perfectly

• And we get something totally different out of Arthur

• I love their dialouge which I am once again trying not to just fully write out, I love their chemistry, I love how quickly their friendliness breaks down

• He does sound genuinely happy to see her at the beginning but as soon as he asks if she's feeling well, they start to cool

• I can't even pick specific lines because everything is such a vibe

• You feel the history and complication and the years apart where everything has changed for both of them and the way that she's the one person who knew him as just Arthur

• "I know exactly who you are"

• Like of course this one was gonna have a line reading that lends itself to multiple things but that's always good and I like it

• Genny ranting to Lance about the number of letters Arthur wrote to Morgan

• She finally gets to be pissed and Phillipa Soo plays it so well

• "Don't review my arithmetic in your head, it's 208"

• Even at her most angry, she still must make sure Lance knows she's right, very relatable

• "I questioned the king, we've all questioned the king"

• This adaptation has built in the knights discontent so well that it's believable that they've just been growing more resentful over time

• "Because one cannot legislate goodness Pellinore, which at the end of the day, is the mission of the round table"/"And what say you Sagramore?"/"Well tell me, when we're all equal will peasants live like knights or will knights live like peasants?"

• Their entire speech is amazing

• The knights growing angrier as they realize they're all on the same page

• The way that it all fits seamlessly into the story we see on the stage but there's also no denying it's about the time we're living in right now

• But again, not in a way where it feels out of nowhere or too heavy handed

• "I throw away the letters, I give away the money"

• I love the way she delivers her lines so dismissively

• I wonder how much of it is her feelings and how much of it is trying to hurt Arthur as much as he's hurt her

• "That part gets left out of the legend" I think is the first moment where Arthur gets under Morgan's skin just a bit

• Like I'm not sure what she wants/wanted from Arthur but maybe it was just that she doesn't like being erased from the story

• "What wife could possibly object?"

• I love her bitterness mounting leading up to this line and actually hearing her call herself Arthur's wife which is I don't think is something she does before

• "I admire the king's commitment to doing the right thing no matter what. That's what a man does, and god knows it should be what a king does."

• I love watching Genny justify her anger because on one level she knows it isn't fair to be angry

• That she really does admire Arthur's goodness and believes he's doing the right thing

• That it's not that he's going to see Morgan, that he wants to bring her to the castle, it's about his actions with Genny

• Or I suppose the lack of consideration of her feelings in maybe the most hurtful way where there was nothing deliberate, it just didn't even occur to him

• She's so hurt

• Everyone in this scene gets to be extremely mad and I love it

• "When he ran out of here, he didn't think it would trouble me at all. He didn't think the letters would mean anything to me. Or staying overnight. Mordred said his mother was his first true love. Business partner. He said it right in front of me as if I wouldn't mind"/"Do you?"/"No, of course not. It's just that it was the first time that it's been demonstrated to me that-"/"Your husband doesn't think of you as his wife"/"Yes"

• Everything is on her face and in her voice

• She's so hurt, so angry, so tired of not being loved

• And when she says of course it doesn't bother her, when she pulls back her feelings in front of Lance

• And her delivery of yes like something clicks in her brain, probably their entire relationship is flashing in her brain and she's building up evidence that it's true

• Lance has articulated exactly what she didn't know she was feeling

• And the music under it underscores each emotion perfectly

• Again Phillipa Soo is just emotionally devastating in this scene

• But also gotta go back to "Your husband doesn't think of you as his wife"

• Like right now I'm just thinking back to Arthur referring to Genny as French to Lance when they first meet and again when he asks her to tell Lance he's being invested

• While Genny in that scene and in the first scene of act 2 keeps referring to her country as England while Lance claims her as French like him

• I wonder if that distinction is one of the things that feeds into her (and Lance?) feeling like Arthur doesn't think of her as his wife

• That she's trying to keep proclaiming her loyalty and he keeps putting a border between them

• At least in her point of view

• While he's as always trying to show her that he sees and respects her as an autonomous individual and not a thing he owns

• Am I reading too far into this? Probably

• (You're not my homeland anymore, so what am I defending now - honestly that it took me this long to make a Taylor Swift reference is a marvel)

• Anyway back to this tremendous scene

• Part of me does wonder if Lance really doesn't know how Arthur feels or if he's in denial because it's easier for him if Arthur doesn't think of Genny as his wife

• Like he does make a point to tell Arthur in the last scene that he and Genny aren't together

• He's gotta realize in this scene how Genny feels about Arthur but curious about the other way around

• Or ya know, maybe he doesn't, maybe he's just as emotionally inept as everyone else in this show

• Don't really have a point, it's just an interesting thought

• How do so many versions cut Fie on Goodness?

• Like not only is it an amazing song but also it's sort of the whole damn point

• If you cut it, the ideals of Camelot are barely even a plot, it's all love triangle

• Also just want to take a moment to appreciate how gross the lyrics to this one are

• This is for sure my favorite sequence

• The intro speech to the song is perfect

• Them just getting worked up about how England is special, it is better, that they're the ones who should be listened to

• "Don't dare question our loyalty to the king"/"A king who encourages debate"

• Again I just love the knights' conflicted feelings about Arthur

• So it's easiest to shift all the blame to Genny and Lance

• This song is so good, this cast is so good

• "That day that I became king, my cousin gave me his tutor, a man named Merlyn. And Merlyn spoke to me of a great cause that I could lead. But I would have to stay unmarried until a young princess in France came of age"/"And you left me unmarriable, a woman with a child"/"I didn't know about the child until he came and introduced himself"/"You raise your voice to me? Have I displeased you your majesty?"/"Stop calling me that"/"I know all about the French princess-"/"The queen"/"and the grand cause-"/"great cause"/"I don't give a damn"

• This is a stupid amount of text that I've typed out but I love their back and forth here

• Arthur trying to justify himself and not wanting to take responsibility and them both getting angry at each other

• Morgan and her relationship with Arthur have been changed pretty drastically to the point that she's not even the same character and I like it and her so much

• I do wonder what the intent was here because I feel like you could read a lot of different things into their dynamic

• And to what that means about Arthur

• I mean I get the sense that she's maybe always been maybe a bit of an outsider, maybe always was a little more world-weary (or maybe not, maybe getting left pregnant while he became king hardened her)

• And maybe their power dynamic has been completely flipped but also maybe Arthur still has a hard time not letting it flip back

• Because like there's no doubt for me that for whatever reason, she was the one holding the cards originally and he doesn't know how to deal with her now

• Like I don't know if she's older or Arthur was always bad at love so she would have just been the more confident person but there's something there

• She obviously has a completely different point of view than anyone else in the show which I love

• And she gets under Arthur's skin so easily

• I guess because she's the one casuality of his great cause, the one wrong he can't right

• Also "stop calling me that" is so petulant teen

• And he was that when he knew her so of course it comes out

• "You seem quick to betray the king"/"I would die before I betrayed King Arthur"/"Yet here you are"/"I can't rise above being a man, a human man. I can't transcend it no matter how hard I try"

• My favorite Lance line

• Ugh it's perfect

• He's so tortured and so good at conveying that in his delivery

• He's getting some character growth

• Genny being both not wrong but also putting it on him so she doesn't have to think about her own behavior

• "My duty is to god, King Arthur, and the round table. I can best serve all three with my absence. It's a small price for one person to pay for a greater good"

• Ooh the self-loathing hits so good

• And Genny panicking because she's about to get left for the second time tonight

• The playing of If Ever I Would Leave You

• Because he is, or he's at least trying to

• To do the right thing

• Genny and Lance speaking French together, always good even thought I can't understand shit

• "No more talking"

• And the bed just being pulled out of the scene

• I just love how the song is interspersed with these scenes, this sequence is truly brilliant and the energy of it in the theater is truly unmatched

• "All the letters that followed-"/"All the letters that followed offered me room and board along with the cash. Imagine how moved I was by the chivalry"

• Ah mocking chivalry, a family pastime

• Again, I just love the way she goes in on Arthur's attempts to do the right thing over and over

• And again I don't know if it's because he wouldn't give her what she actually wanted or pure vengence

• "Guilty and alive once more" is probably my favorite line from the song

• "Let me ask you this question and I'm entitled to the truth. If there hadn't been a cause, a great case, would you have married me? No."/"I was fifteen years old that night and the next day I was king. I was anointed by the archbishop of Canterbury in York and those men think they put me in direct contact with the divine. There was a cause."

• Clearly in her mind he was never going to marry her but we know from Pelli that when he met Arthur when he was already king, he was still very much in love with Morgan

• More than 10 years (plus then a year that's passed in story) before this could be lots of different amounts of time but it could have been up to a few years into Arthur being king which is a long while

• So the answer was probably yes

• But he doesn't say any of that because his feelings don't matter, he's too focused on justifying his cause, that it was important enough to make up for her life

• And ya know Camelot is what's important now, Camelot is what he and Genny have devoted their lives to, he can't fail

• This is the scene where I just conspiracy board Genny and Arthur's relationship

• This is fine, I'm normal about this show, that's why I wrote all of this

• Either way I think it must really bother Athur that Morgan might think he's not a good man

• We saw it with Genny and the courtesans thing too

• Like obviously part of that was being in love with her but also I think it fucks with his self-image as a person who does the right thing which is his entire life

• And Morgan's the biggest crack in that in his mind which is why he gets angry pretty much constantly in this scene

• At least that's my theory

• I love that we get see him cracking a bit under the strain of being good and trying to rise above being a human being just like everyone else in this scene

• He's got a lot more moral fortitude than the rest of the characters so it just manifests as him getting to be angry and express it to another person for once but still

• He makes excuses, he gets mad, he won't accept that Morgan's version of events is also true and he can't force her to be okay with it

• I don't know, there's something nice about narrative not saying that making the choices of the knights or Genny and Lance is inevitable, Arthur does make the right choices but he still isn't perfect here

• "And I won't live in a spare room in a castle and be the used and discarded former mistress of a king... but I will be the mother of one"

• So like how much of Mordred's plans are Mordred and how much is Morgan?

• And you know used and discarded former mistress of a king is killing Arthur

• "And he didn't"/"What?"/"Put you in direct contact with the divine"/"That is made clear to me every day"

• Morgan did a good job of pretending indifference at the beginning but the more she lays into Arthur, the more hostile things get between them, it's so clear that if the opposite of love is indifference then they haven't managed to get over loving each other

• It's just soured and rotted but won't die

• More so for Morgan because she paid the price, she couldn't move on in the way he could

• "And I wouldn't want to see your face when you realize it didn't make a difference. There'll be greed and injustice and hate and horror. You can change the stuff but people stay exactly the same. No one whose opponent was human nature has ever won a fight. Human nature responds to-"/"Inspiration"/"Fear. And that's it"

• It's so cruel but also a great illustration of the ways that they're fundamental opposites

• "I don't forget anything"

• Another extremely loaded line delivery

• (Don't make an All Too Well reference, don't make an All Too Well reference, don't)

• The panic and realization of "he's not stupid" and the music that builds to it and Morgan's laugh ugh perfect

• The intro music to I Loved You Once in Silence is gorgeous

• Lance and Genny in white feeling guilty as hell is a good visual

• So much regret

• Just instantly

• I feel like the moment they've actually acted on their feelings, they know that it's not only a mistake but also that their feelings aren't actually what they thought

• Well maybe Lance doesn't quite have it yet in this scene but he gets there

• Not to repeat what I said about the first scene in act 2 but

• My take is that they intentionally deepened Arthur and Genny's relationship and Lance's character but not Lance and Genny's relationship

• They intentionally left it shallow

• That these are two people who are missing something and the easiest way for them to get that is to frame what they have as love

• I mean for Genny it's sort of obvious, she's married to a man she's in love with but that she thinks doesn't love her

• Lance makes her feel certain about his feelings for her and that's validating

• But Lance, I feel like I have thoughts but I'm not sure

• Lance has never been forced to reckon with temptation before

• And instead of facing that in himself

• He just makes Genny part of the list of things that define him

• A goddess on earth and a god above

• Along with the table

• And he can worship them all to avoid having to figure out who he actually is

• It's not him admitting he has a human weakness, it's a grand tragic love story that he can suffer for

• And suffering, well that's what lets him cope with whatever about himself he feels is so terrible that he needs to punish himself for it

• He's so terrified to look inward, so afraid of something in himself that he just finds his identity in other people and institutions

• And he can't hide behind that anymore because he's betrayed it all, every single thing

• I feel like this makes it sound like I don't like Lance and I very much do

• He's just particularly flawed because he's the only one who doesn't start the show knowing that about himself

• They all make choices out of self-loathing and fear of unworthiness but I do think Lance thinks consciously he's above that for most of the show even if subconsciously he knows he isn't

• He's the only one of the main three to not really finish his character journey within the confines of this narrative

• Arguably he only starts right now and finally realizes he's not the man he thought he was

• Again fic potential somone???

• Well that was a tangent

• Jordan Donica's performance of I Loved You Once in Silence is so heartbreaking

• "Lance I made a mistake. I'm sorry but you're a good man and I should have been nicer to you."

• I love that, I love that she takes her responsibility (even if she's already trying to cover up what happened)

• But also it's just the clearst indication that acting on her feelings killed them

• She doesn't need to push Lance away anymore to stop herself from doing anything

• I love that Lance tries to surrender peacefully

• He's willing to take responsibility not for his noble suffering anymore but because he is a good man and he knows he's done what he's been accused of

• And he only attacks because he has to

• Mordred's evil laugh

• Lance being slightly disheveled and grabbing Mordred's sword to fight off the guards and escape

• I don't have any kind of intellectual take, this is just a personal problem for me

• My jaw was on the floor when Lance started yelling back about coming for her if he survives

• Such a tense ramp up into Guenevere

Act 2, Scene 4: The trial/The Battle

• Guenevere has such amazing lyrics

• The entire "more than love met its doom"/"came the sundown of a dream" verse destroys me

• And I love every word of added dialouge, so correct to put it on the cast recording

• I feel I must explain my love for the staging of this song some more because it is so simple and I understand that some people are not into it but I so much am

• I love the way they close off the back of the stage for I think the only time in the whole show and it becomes claustrophobic all of the sudden

• Now Arthur is stuck in this little box in front of the audience while everything falls apart for him and that's what you have to look at so there's no getting away from how devastating it is

• We just get some full force Andrew Burnap acting and I love it, I think by now it should be clear that I would

• In other versions that I've seen, there's a lot more happening and we see Genny

• And we see Arthur see her tied to the stake and Lancelot show up to rescue her

• Which I do like in theory

• But we don't really see Genny have any actual role or even seeming to have any particular feelings about what she's done or what's about to happen

• Like she's about to die and I've yet to see a version where I have any idea if she's got a single emotion about that

• Despite the name of the song, I think this show decided this scene isn't about Genny, it's about Arthur

• It's about the consequences of his laws

• It's about the beginning of his new war

• Arthur screaming "Pelli I know" like we see him start to crack

• Oh to know who told Arthur and how he took it

• "Well do something"/"She's under arrest. She's been accused of treason"/"Arthur I understand that you're angry but"/"She's been accused of breaking the law. She has to be judged"

• The delivery of that last line, ugh

• He keeps it impersonal, it isn't about what she did to him or his pain, it's about the law

• The law they lovingly crafted together

• "What a magnificent dilemma: let her die and you're a monster, let her live and you're a fraud. Which will it be? Do you kill the queen or the law?"

• Fuck

• The delivery is so good

• Mordred is having the time of his life shrieking about Arthur's pain

• The killing the queen or the law bit seems to be mostly unchanged and it's maybe the best single line from the original book

• Although it went from kill the queen and your life is over to you're a monster

• Mordred has to know Arthur is in love with Genny, right?

• Maybe he just can't imagine Arthur could love a person more than he loves his ideals which I guess would make sense given Morgan and Arthur's relationship

• Arthur drawing his sword on Mordred!!!

• "Ooh careful your majesty, you wouldn't want to be barbaric"

• The fact that Mordred thinks that's going to work, that he can continue to poke at Arthur and he won't respond, he really does believe in Arthur's goodness doesn't he?

• "You are exiled from this court. Return and I will show you what barbaric looks like"

• Arthur screaming at Mordred with his hand around his throat is so intense

• It's so good

• Another gasp out loud in the theater moment

• Arthur is fully unraveling and I'm obsessed

• "I know my way out"

• It's such a teenage delivery and like Mordred is just a kid who feels abandoned by his father

• And as much as this is a tragedy for the three main characters, it's no less a tragedy for Mordred

• Aging down Mordred, also a great choice

• And again, just another stellar performance

• Every single person in this cast just knocked it out of the park in a way I never could have anticipated

• "Arthur please, I'm an old man and I know I'm ridiculous but for the love of god, it's Genny. She made a mistake, she knows that."

• I love that Pelli loves her too

• That he isn't judging her

• "She broke the law Pellinore. A law signed by the king. So say the people"

• He starts trying to be calm but then the fact that it's his law brings up the anger and then he breaks on so say the people

• He's written his own destruction

• And empowered others to take the decision out of his hands

• I love the dialouge in this scene so damn much

• "Neither you nor I nor god himself can stop this terrible thing that's been put in motion"/"What are you waiting for?"/"I'm waiting for what's inevitably coming next"

• The delivery of coming next...

• Like obviously he wants Lance to save Genny but he knows that no matter what

• No matter if she lives or dies, peace is over and the round table has been destroyed

• And he needs to prepare

• Also the way he frames what's happening

• It's not what Genny and Lance or even Mordred caused

• It's just what's been set into motion by all these tiny and giant choices throughout the show that have bubbled over into the death of Camelot

• "That's Lancelot du Lac out there and he's brought a battalion. Double the guard, triple the guard, those guards are going to die tonight"

• How many times can I just copy a bunch of text and write the delivery

• Because yup

• The lack of hope from Arthur is chilling

• Arthur getting dragged back into the war he worked so hard to end

• Just every line delivery in this scene is perfect

• Every lyric of the song

• Every acting choice

• And I love to see it visually

• Preparing for war isn't an exciting spectacle, it's tragic

Act 2, Scene 5: Outside Joyous Gard - on the eve of war

• The way they fade in on the eve of war just broke my heart every time

• I would love to know how much communication there was between Arthur and Lance and how

• Like how much of a role did Arthur play in the whole Genny not getting burned business?

• And the fact that his first question is whether they've been injured

• Even after everything, he's a good man who cares

• And Genny and Lance too, being willing to come back and die

• They're all good people who made mistakes but still good people

• "I assure you, if I thought it would end all this, I would light the fire myself"

• Absolutely brutal but like after he lays out all the death and rebellion that have already happened I guess brutal is fair

• Ya know, if I thought he meant it even a little

• "Lance, come morning some of your countrymen are going to be at the end of my sword. It's not personal, it's just my job. Stay safe Lance."/"I can't do that. And neither can you. Godspeed your majesty."

• I just love the idea of Lance and Arthur as these two people who love each other spearheading this war neither of them believe in

• It's so tragic

• Their goodbye is so understated which for Lance is like truly a great bit of contrast

• They've had enough big declarations, these few sentences just distill everything perfectly

• And then we come to Genny and Arthur, fuck fuck fuck

• The first time I saw this I spent like all of intermission and act 2 with a loop in my brain of but they love each other, right?

• I am unrepentant trash for them in this version as though that wasn't abundantly clear

• And Aaron Sorkin delivered for me so hard in this scene

• "Please let me die, Arthur"

• The pause before his name

• And now we get to the part where I start to get like teary-eyed in the theater

• "Two very powerful men did this to you... not Mordred and Lance, your father and me"

• That long pause before and me

• I love his whole speech, I almost typed it all out

• And they allow so much silence during it

• And the way he's like trying to hold it together but he can't by the end

• "You were treated like a queen but you were my hostage Genny, what the hell did we think was going to happen?"

• That he recognizes and actually admits the ways that his choices have harmed Genny, the unfairness in the entire situation he's put her through

• That he can see even through his own hurt and the enormity of what has been set into motion, his own responsibility for what's happened

• Like he's not right but he's also not wrong

• "And for it's worth, I've been in love with you this whole time"

• Not even looking at her so we have to see it instead ugh

• And then watch that long silence while Genny just like rearranges her entire view of their relationship

• "For what it's worth? Did you just say for what it's worth?"/"Well I thought maybe you'd like to know that. But I wasn't sure."

• Just smashing my heart into tiny little pieces

• After everything they've been to each other, after all they built together, he still doesn't even know if his feelings will matter to her

• While Genny is getting ready to lose her mind after for what it's worth

• They're so absolutely emotionally inept

• "You weren't sure? Why didn't you ever tell me before?"/"It doesn't matter"/"Why?"/"How could I? I'm the king of England. You'd have been forced to pretend you felt the same way"

• Again they are delivering lines in a way that is continuing to smash the little pieces of my heart into complete dust

• Like Arthur is again not wrong but not right

• His life is so lonely because of this crown he didn't want and his desire to actually be responsible with that power

• And even now he tries to get out of explaining that to her

• I love him so much is the problem

• And then her mmm like all the pieces are coming together in her brain that they've both been suffering for nothing and she is pissed

• I love her so much which is also the problem

• Incidentally, both of these things are also their problem so very relatable

• "Out of curiousity, if I had told you, what would you have said?"/"That I loved you from the moment I saw you, from the moment you spoke, from the moment you sang me that stupid song about the weather"/"It's not about the weather it's a metaphor"/"I know it's a metaphor"

• The way Genny overlaps him asking, she can't even wait for him to finish

• The way she says stupid song

• The way that she's like, I did fall in love with you over that song but also I still hate it and think it's dumb

• She says it with such contempt

• Icon

• Even standing before the wreckage of their lives, they still can't stop bickering about the song, I'm obsessed

• "I prayed every night that one day you would see me the way I saw you. And then you told me I was your business partner. Yes I was and I am in love with you"/"Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse"

• She prayed every night???

• For two years???

• That he would return her feelings???

• Fuck

• Like I don't know if I can convey how much them being in love with each other and thinking it's unrequited for two whole years ping pongs around my brain and just lights up all the synapses

• "Do you really think 10,000 people loosened that sword for me?"/"I do"/"So do I. That's a nice thought isn't it?"

• It is a nice thought

• I love the philosophy of this show, I love that there's no convoluted Arthur is actually the son of the last king so he was destined to be special

• These are just two people who though birth or circumstance ended up in this position of power and chose to do good with it

• Genny begging for just a little more time like the only reason I kept anything together was being in a theater but if feel confident that if I ever get my hands on footage of this show, I would have already been sobbing by this point

• "They won't let me let Lance save you twice so you have to go Princess Guenevere"

• Hearing him call her by her name is so deeply distressing

• Literally not once before in the show does it happen and it hurts

• And then they're playing Before I Gaze at You Again what an amazing choice

• Turning a love song she sang about Lance into this romantic moment for her and Arthur because theirs was the love story the whole time like brilliant

• That they chose the show's first love song and brought it back for Genny and Arthur being unable to leave each other without that hug and that kiss

��� Like this song that is originally about the pain of unfulfilled love for the wrong person and then flipping it to the pain of fulfilled love with the right one

• I am so not okay

• Also people did very loudly applaud at closing when they kissed and I was so glad because truly in my head I was doing it every time

• "I love you"/"I love you too"/"God save the king"

• I mean these are some good last words to say to each other, I'll give them that

• The thing about the original version of the musical is that the ending was already a perfect concept

• Here it just feels more meaningful because they lay that groundwork about inspiring the next generation throughout

• Tom trying to con Arthur about his age is very funny

• This kid is so good and adorable

• "You're speaking to a king"/"I'm twelve years old"

• Like his comedic delivery, very impressive

• "And when did you decide upon this nonexistent career?"

• We get a solid 60 seconds of cynical Arthur and that's about it

• The entire concept of this kid being inspired by the stories of Camelot is just deeply moving and beautiful

• And just the entirety of Andrew Burnap's performance of that realization hitting Arthur

• I love a story that's about the power of stories

• People also applauded at the last show when Arthur says the stories were all true which I also just deeply love

• Arthur's I know exactly how you feel when Tom says he's not ready to be a knight and putting his arm around him, so cute

• "And you will return to your home alive"

• The way he says alive

• Like I think Arthur knows that he's not making it out of this

• Even if he would manage to survive the battle and Mordred, he knows his time is done

• But the the future is still there

• And there is about to be so much death

• Some of it from his sword or his orders

• And the rest of it of his men

• But at least this kid, he's going to live

• The reprise of Camelot... I just love it so much

• "I've won my battle, here's my victory"

• Not a new line but just such a gorgeous one

• The entire idea of the story of Camelot as a tragedy but a hopeful one just gets me

• It's such a beautiful conclusion that this version sets up so so well

• I love that we end on a speech again, just like act 1

• Also that last bit of music as they walk off, stunning

• I have attempted to track down as many older productions of this show as I can including the movie which was good but I am biased and I do sort of think Sorkin and Bartlett Sher and the actors and everyone else involved had the more interesting take on the themes and characters

• A Broadway musical is best when it has simple but impactful themes and big emotions

• And that's exactly what this version gave us

• The highest compliment I can give this show is that not only have I not stopped thinking about it, not only did I tell everyone I know to see it, not only did I want to see the show again (and again and...), but it also just made me feel inspired to see more theater in a way I haven't in a serious while

• I just love this show so much and I'm so glad there are some people here who can't get over it either

• This is what I have to offer, the longest possible unhinged rant and bad quality closing audio, that is all

#it is bad that i wrote all of this #but it's worse that I had to learn I vomited out more words than tumblr even allows #this is what Camelot has done to me #this and made me see just so much more theater than I have ever #still riding the high of watching this cast live apparently #This Barbie can't shut up about Camelot #maybe three is enough unhinged long rants about this show #I wouldn't put money on it but we can all hope #I think the only thing that can sate my soul is a proshot #or sate my soul like 50% with a bootleg #and 50% by casting everyone in this show in good new stuff #preferably produced by my friend's boss so I can maybe get a free ticket #I'm waiting for the most crucial moment to be that annoying friend who asks for a perk #Camelot Musical #the freedom I feel having this note off my phone though

[bunsndoofs]

The Runaway Theory - A Mahiru 2nd Trial Analysis

I want to begin with addressing the idea of Mahiru being an abuser and my issues with this perception of her. I know the stalker and mannequin theories are very popular but my issue with this characterization of her is the fact that Mahiru is a very weak person. In both voice dramas Mahiru constantly belittles herself, painting herself as a someone who isn't smart. When Kotoko hurts her to the point of being in a critical condition- she herself doesn't feel hurt and justifies what Kotoko has done to her. Even was Es was the one who voted her guilty- she seems to harbor no resentment towards him, and tells him to do his best in her voice drama.

This all very important to consider because it shows Mahiru is willing to get hurt to paint others in a positive light. So with that- what makes us think that she isn't doing the same for her boyfriend. Both songs focus so heavily on Mahiru's warm feelings for this man, but little do either songs actually characterize him. We don't know his motives, and it's only in the second song that we even know what he looks like.

Which brings me to my main thesis: Mahiru fixates so much on her feelings of love as to not focus on the fact she is settling for a shitty guy and shitty relationship.

With that I want to address what is happening in the second song. That is, what exactly is Mahiru and her boyfriend doing in the forest. I understand the "symbolism" of Mahiru leading her boyfriend to a suicide forest, but that doesn't really make sense. Mahiru doesn't want him dead, and even actively state that she wishes she could bring him back to life if he could.

So- why are they there?

This brings me to the runaway theory. As established already, Mahiru does have money. She is a college student and its said that she is living off money that her parents send her. Not to mention the fact she is seen wearing very nice clothes and able to go to a stylist.

Which brings us to the question- why is Mahiru in a state where she is looking for things like shelter and food ("Clothes Food Shelter - Love and Miss you"). In fact this phrase is repeated through her 2nd trial, emphasizing that these are things she is constantly on the lookout for. We know the forest was where Mahiru's boyfriend was killed, implying that both Mahiru and him must have consensually went together. But like we established, Mahiru isn't in poverty, nor has she commited any grave crimes that would make her have to go on the run. If she were a stalker, and that's why she needed to go on the run, then why would her boyfriend be with her since he would have had to report her to the police?

Well this brings us to an interesting conclusion. The last known entry in Mahiru's diary indicates that she was staying at her boyfriend's place. This is also where she is wearing the same outfit as in the second MV. We can assume this happened prior to her boyfriend's death in the suicide forest because she was waiting for him to come home. The following shot in the MV though implies that- he didn't come home, as Mahiru is instead sleeping on the couch, seeming from waiting for him all night. This is where we then get this shocked expression:

We know this expression couldn't be because of her boyfriend's suicide, because we know this occurred in the forest. The attached image showing Mahiru's information along with where her murder took place, depicting a forest. So if not for her boyfriend's death, what could possibly make Mahiru look like this?

-I don't really know. That's the issue with the Milgram MV's and a similar issue I noticed with Mu's MV's where they showcase the beginning and end of the prisoner's crimes, but not so much what happened in between. My guess though, is that the reason they had to become runaways had to do with Mahiru's boyfriend. Like I said, we don't know much about this guy and I think that's intentional. Mahiru is desperate to make this guy look like a victim and like a good person even if it means endangering herself. I think more than likely, that shocked look on Mahiru's face came due to the boyfriend having to come home, likely planning to go on the run after he did something, and ending up having to confess this to Mahiru. As a result of her unconditional love, Mahiru then decides to go with him.

I think one thing that's interesting in the MV that reveals about this guy's character is that while he's willing to give Mahiru cake, it's a lot less than what Mahiru is willing to give.

Mahiru is already shown to be someone who makes the most out of bad situations as shown by her more delusional perceptions throughout the video. If I had to make a guess as to why her boyfriend commited suicide, it's because he was stuck in a situation that he couldn't get out of (he was already shown with a blood stain on his chest in the MV) and one that he couldn't idealize. Mahiru on the other hand, was able to live through the awful conditions. In her first trial she fixates on the days before their relationship switched to the point where they had to become runaways.

In this case, what I think Mahiru feels guilt about is the fact that she couldn't stop her boyfriend's death. What that carousel symbolizes in that sense is their relationship. Sure, it's working and it's constantly moving, but it's stuck and place, gradually breaking down more and more, until her boyfriend is literally shown hanging from it. The carousel for Mahiru is something she uses to keep herself going, to her boyfriend it was another thing to drain him.

#milgram analysis #milgram mahiru spoilers #mahiru shiina