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sparkling-pink-lemonade · 9 months

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(Long post ahead, reposting a reblog I made and ended up deleting because OP was an anti. Placing a "keep reading" after the repost before getting into new info. Post is screenshot heavy, and such not compatible with screen readers. I do not have energy to transcribe alt text right now.)

So anyways, there are antis in the Pico's School fandom.

I love the ship picandra (Pico x Cassandra), it's super hot, but apparently there are antis shaming it. (What don't antis shame?)

I'm not sharing OP's tags this time so it isn't as easy to find them. But the jist is that Pico isn't some pure hero, he's an anti hero. And it isn't canon that Pico has any trauma because of Cassandra. They express frustration with antis trying to demonize people who enjoy hero x villain ships.

This was my response before I deleted my post:

I'd also like to add that antis, as well as this post, are focusing on whether or not this ship is problematic due to Pico being a victim being a victim of Cassandra attacking the school. Not once does anyone mention the fact that the characters are 10 years old in their source material and that "it would be disgusting to ship 10 year olds and imagine children dating and kissing when 10 year olds would be doing nothing more than holding hands." I bring this up because of how OP then went and behaved in the comments of their post. Throwing a huge fit when a proshipper tried to inform them of what proship means.

Blue is OP, light blue is whenever they replied directly to the proshipper they were arguing against (not me), and purplish white are buzzwords creating very serious accusations against proshippers.

Any further comments from OP on their post were missing too much context due to the other side of the conversation being deleted. And such won't be commented on.

It's horribly ironic that they went on about pedophilia and their hatred for underage ships, when this post originated from a ship consisting of two 10 year olds. And on top of that, if their argument on proshipping being bad is because the dynamics of problematic ships are harmful and affect reality, then sorry to say, in my opinion as a proshipper is that Picandra is a comship. Even if Pico wasn't traumatized by Cassandra's attack on the school, she still caused irreversible damage to his life. She killed all his classmates and teacher. She is an alien who used emotionally insecure goth kids to kill humanity with no regard to the lives of her allies. She canonically couldn't give a shit about Pico, let alone be interested in him. In turn, after the attack, Pico had become a serial killer hitman that is very aggressive and closed off emotionally. If these two were to engage in a relationship, it would be toxic and abusive as all hell on both ends. But I guess that's fine because it doesn't disgust you personally. So it can't possibly be morally corrupt or questionable.

I do not plan on making a habit out of indirectly replying to anti bullshit on this level. I've already made sure OP is blocked and thus unable to see this post. The existence of my rebuttal points are more for the sake of getting my own frustrations out, practice making points against a real example rather than a hypothetical strawman, as well as providing a source of positivity for other proshippers who have dealt with this or other antis like the one featured above.

If you manage to find OP, do not harass them, send them hate, or even send 'helpful information'. A person like this is not in the right mindset to learn, and such trying to rebut them any further will only cause unnecessary stress and may cause them to root themselves more into the anti mindset.

#proship #ship discourse #antis being antis #tw antiship #anti mention #proship positivity #anti anti #grotesque misuse of serious accusations #american feelings yakuza #probably not american so more like just feelings yakuza #anti purity culture #anti censorship #anti harassment #pico pico's school #cassandra pico's school #pico's school #picandra

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jinx-on-mars-19xx · 10 months

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Oooooh. Roxy didn't answer this because she's very done with the insanity and I'm over it too but at the same time... I don't think people realize what it does to people. Because of the shit last night I ended up with assault nightmares because that's how my brain deals with transphobic attacks. I just want everyone to see the type of humans that follow Megan. I think it speaks so much of her character.

I genuinely don't even know how to cover this point by point and you know I don't like negativity but this? Go fuck yourself. This is the most fake "apology" I've ever seen.

1. You had to have seen my page and my trans flag and my pronouns to make some of the jokes you did. You knew and you did it anyway.

2. You proceed to say "suck pussy juices" which... Do I have to say how that too is transphobic? Do you think I claim to have one? I mean I'd say you can suck my dick but I don't want you anywhere NEAR me. Ever.

3. I'm the least misogynistic person around, all my best friends are incredible women. But guess who likes to throw around that word to trans people? Terfs.

4. I have never seen someone be such a bully while "helping people be better humans". You sound like a lot of Christians I've met and that should say something to you.

I don't feel like picking this entire thing apart enough to go against every point. I didn't want to give this a moment of my life again because I genuinely hate being negative but this was too much. I'm truly horrified people like this exist. You speak of human decency but I don't think you've had a moment of it in your life. You remind me of a Trump supporter the way you can't question your goddess. That's the difference here, when Kells fucks up I say so. But when he's being hurt I back him up because people like you exist who let her spread lies about him.

Genuinely no one was even attacking her. @triplexdoublex made a tiny joke. Much in the same way I made a joke about Col's hairline. See how that works? We don't mindlessly suck his cock. Although...

But guess what? No one actually has to accept any nonsense replies! That's the magic of this being her or my blog. That's the magic of the internet. It's our personal safe spaces you're invading with your negative bullshit. I don't like being angry, it takes all my energy. You could have blocked Roxy or me but you didn't because you feed off this! You love hurting others. I'm sorry for you.

At least you can rest assured in one thing- you're exactly like your fucking idol. I hope that keeps you warm at night.

Edit: also... Did they imply it was bad to support each other? Like as friends? That's... Genuinely depressing. I'm sorry they don't have anyone to have their backs (see how easy this 'they' shit is?)

I've just got a lovely group of friends who I would protect because no one deserves getting attacked like that, and they obviously support me too. Trying not to make a platonic harem joke.

Who's personal life were we attacking? We were commenting about a public picture and if you think she didn't have input about it before it was posted you're fucking delusional. You're the only one attacking people's personal lives here and we're just defending ourselves.

#what did i do to deserve this #genuinely #im fucking shaking #jinx doesnt like terfs

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lives4lovesworld · 1 year

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A response to @stargareed's comments, he has deleted (or don't show up anymore because he has me block lol) and his response to @theblackqveen's post.

His comments:

First off all, what an absolute clown do you have to be to come here, guns a-bazing, snippy and condescendingly insinuate that I would block you or erase a hypothetical "refutation" of yours when you not only have i) spammed my comment section without adressing any of the arguments and facts in my reblog contradicting your bending and rewriting of the laws of inheritance so they might support your wish of a) Jon having any claim whatsoever to the Iron Throne and b) Daenerys having none, but then proceed to ii) delete your comments and/or block me ? Excuse me??

@lives4lovesworld If I reply to your long response to me, are you gonna leave it up or block me so people can't see it?

Before I begin to yet again refute all this nonsense, I have to say; I have never seen a person writing so much nonsensical fallacious bullshit that does i) neither adressed the points I have made prior ii) nor support their own nor iii) matter in the discussion to begin with and then iv) continues to write a response in which he contradicts himself??

So besides you not even addressing, let alone try and disassembled all the facts (such as the laws of inheritance, the workings of absolute monarchy and validity of king regardless of his mental state) that refute your brazen inaccurate statements of Jon (as a secret bastard) to have any claims, and Daenerys supposedly losing her claim for further rewriting how laws of inheritance work and your (deliberate, dare I say so) misunderstanding of Daenerys and her position in AGoT, you also did not answer any of my previous questions: What purpose Robb's declare than has (besides removing Sansa from the succession) if a bastard has claims regardless if he legitimized or not? Or if Sansa, by your logic, has lost all her claims to Winterfell as well, because she had "alllowed" her betrothal to kill her father? if Catelyn by your incredibly flawed preception has "allowed" her brother's father-in-law to murder her son?

@theblackqveen Dany was complicit in Viserys's death. She didn't even try to stop her husband through Viserys was begging her to. A Westerosi lord might say, "So your husband killed Viserys, and you didn't even try to stop him? That's pretty convenient, isn't it? Almost like you're unfairly profiting from your brother's death."

Yeah... Viserys was also threatening Daenerys not mere seconds ago. If you argue Daenerys should have fought harder for her king, than Viserys should have protected and respected her as person, as his sister and as his heir. If you argue Aerys's valdity as king can be dismissed (so you can and everbody else should dismiss his decree) because he was obviously not of sound mind than Daenerys can dismiss Viserys as her king too, because he was obviously not sound of mind too.

Fortunatly, this is NOT HOW INHERITANCE WORKS (for the chaos that would be legtimized that way would out to TWot5K). All heirs "profit" from their testator's death, so one can accuse them all for "unfairly profiting" from them. But no one does, beacuse that's not the world ASoIaF is. And even if there would be lords to share your opinion, these lords could not argue that Daenerys has lost her claim on a legislative level, BECAUSE THAT'S NOT HOW THEIR LAWS WORK. I don't know how somebody has to articulate it to you that a person's reaction and actions surrounding AND to his testator's death is not of concern when it comes to his position as heir, when a person can literally murder his testator without losing his rights as said testator's lawful heir.

It's your personal opinion that a person should not inherited from someone if they fail to prevent the testator's death or are in your eyes a "complict" or fail grieve them a certain way. THAT'S YOUR PERSONAL OPINION, NOT THE LAW. Although given the fact that Daenerys tried to prevent his deathh by pleaded Viserys to sheath his sword, and offered him her dragon eggs (her most prized property) it is apparent that you want to disinherited Daenerys soley because she did not meet YOUR expectations on how she "should" have acted.

@music-of-dragons It could depend on why the Mad King made Viserys his "new heir". If he did so because he was pissed at Dorne…then his rationale might not apply to non-Dornish Jon. And we know he was very pissed at Dorne: "When the news reached the Red Keep, it was said that Aerys cursed the Dornish, certain that Lewyn had betrayed Rhaegar. He sent his pregnant queen, Rhaella, and his younger son and new heir, Viserys, away to Dragonstone. . . ." (TWOIAF)

AGAIN as already stated you have yet to adress and try to disassembled the stated facts from my reblog that stated that JON as unknown secret bastard DOES NOT HAVE ANY CLAIM. For Jon to have a claim he would have needed to publicly acknowledged and then legitimized by a royal decree. There is no tHen hIs raTionAle mIght nOt aPply tO non-D0rnIsh JoN.

JON DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY HAVE A CLAIM BECAUSE HE IS RHAEGAR'S SON AND A DECREE TO DISINHEIRT THE TRUEBORN HEIRS DOES NOT SIMULTANEOUSLY GRANT ANYONE ELSE/A UNKNOWN BASTARD CLAIMS.

The royal decree to disinherit Aegon and Rhaenys Targaryen and apppointment of Viserys as new heir is alo sure as hell not phrased that "ONLY Rhaegar's line that is part dornish is hereby disinherited" because it would make no sense. The disinheritance is not against Rhaegar's children's dornish heritage, it is about the preventation of Rhaegar's line to ascend the Throne and Visery's ascend (and it being made as secured as legally possible) PERIOD. And most imporantly, why would the decree be written in this specific way (worded to prevent only Rhaegar's DORNISH heirs), when no one thought he even had any other children??? (children with indisputable claims!) That would be a explicitness no one would have ever come to in this scenario.

Even if it WAS, JON AS UNKNOWN NON-ACKNOWLEDGED, NON-LEGITIMIZED BASTARD HAS NO CLAIMS. That is trueborn siblings lost theirs doesn't suddenly grant him ones.

@theblackqveen First, there were instances of Dany telling Drogo "no" or defying Dothraki custom and Drogo allowed her to do so even if he disagreed at first. So he definitely listened to her.

You deliberately continue to fundamentally misunderstand the nature of Daenerys and Drogo's relationships.

Drogo listens to her in some instances because he wanted to. Like when she try to persuade him to do different sex positions or claiming the Lhazareen women for herself. And even in the later instance, Daenerys fears if she had dared to much. In none of these instances Drogo listened to Daenerys because she had the authority to bend him to her will.

And whether her protests worked with Viserys is not important. The important thing is that she at least try to protect her king. But she didn’t. And so others may naturally conclude that she unfairly profited from his death and shouldn't inherit from her.

You are just repeating yourself, bringing up an supposed "argument" that doesn't disinherit Daenerys as Viserys’s heir. AGAIN there could be as many as they want that can "naturally conclude that she unfairly profited from his death and and shouldn't inherit from her". It still doesn't change the law. But given the fact that NO ONE in 6 books have mused anything of this sort, refutes your hypothesis that there will be any to argue (like this).

The only one to speculate in a similar manner about the circumstances of Viserys’s death are Arianne Martell and Daemon Sand;

The secret pact that Prince Doran had made all those years called for Arianne to be wed to Prince Viserys, not Quentyn to Daenerys. It had all come undone on the Dothraki sea, when he was murdered. Crowned with a pot of molten gold. "He was killed by a Dothraki khal," said Arianne. "The dragon queen's own husband." "So I'veheard. What of it?" "Just… why did Daenerys let it happen? Viserys was her brother. All that remained of her own blood." "The Dothraki are a savage folk. Who can know why they kill? Perhaps Viserys wiped his arse with the wrong hand." Perhaps, thought Arianne, or perhaps Daenerys realized that once her brother was crowned and wed to me, she would be doomed to spend the rest of her life sleeping in a tent and smelling like a horse. "She is the Mad King's daughter," the princess said. "How do we do know -- " "We cannot know," Ser Daemon said. "We can only hope." - Arianne I, TWoW

And even here, the focus lays only on whenever or not Daenerys might be "her father's daughter". Not a word about Daenerys not being Viserys's heir due to the circumstances around his death is muttered here. And mind you this from a women that envisioned herself as Viserys's queen.

excerpts of @stargareed's response to @theblackqveen post:

GRRM made the rightful claimant issue a clusterfuck of ambiguity so that Stannis/Shireen, Dany, (f)Aegon, and Jon all have colorable claims to the Iron Throne.

i) Robert Baratheon justifys is claim to the Iron Throne through his great grandmother Rhaelle Targaryen (although we all know Robert's won/stole the Iron Throne with his war hammer (x)). Even Stannis, who derives his claim to the Iron Throne from him being Robert's brother, states that Robert IS an usurper.

ii) If we collectively disregard Aerys's decree as you do it, then yes the unquestionable son of Elia Martell and Rhaegar Targaryen would have indeed a better claim than Daenerys. But Young Griff/"Aegon" and his kingmakers know, should they fail to match a marriage between him and Daenerys, he will forever be mocked as a pretender (x). Therefore debating how the claim of the true, indisputable Aegon would still out trump Daenerys, despite there being a royal decree that says otherwise, is redundant because the circumstances demand from this boy to resign himself as only her mere consort, because otherwise no one will believe "Aegon" is who he says he is.

iii) FOR THE 100TH TIME; NO PUBLIC ACKNOWLEDGMENT AND NO LEGITIMIZATION BY OFFICIAL ROYAL DECREE MEANS NO CLAIM FOR SECRET BOI JON.

It’s almost like a law school exam where you can easily argue why multiple characters have the strongest claims. So when someone posts in the Jon tag that Dany has a 100% better claim than Jon, I’m gonna push back (in a civil manner of course).

You have yet to "easily argue", adress and try to disassembled the laws of inheritance I have quoted from AWoIaF. So how exactly have you "push[ed] back"? You have yet to refute anything.

I agree that Drogo had the ultimate authority in their relationship. And that though Drogo listened to Dany in some things (e.g. allowing Dany to have some control over their sex life or prevent Dothraki warriors from taking certain Lhazareen women), there’s a very good chance Drogo would have killed Viserys despite Dany’s pleas because Viserys threatened Drogo’s unborn son.

Here you start to contradict yourself. First you say Daenerys should have prevented Viserys’s death (insinuating that she has that kind of power over Drogo to begin with because Drogo indulge a few pleas od her) and now you (finally) admit Drogo would have done as he pleased, regardless of Daenerys's pleas.

Which doesn't matter anyway, because you still insist on trying to pass off your personal opinion on inheritance as the law:

But to the extent Dany wants to inherit from Viserys, she should have at least tried to prevent the death of her supposed king. Instead, she was complicit in his death. After Dany translated Viserys’s words to her husband, the following occurred: [excerpt of Daenerys V, AGoT] So, Dany translates Viserys’s ill-fated words to her husband, knows her husband is about to kill Viserys, puts her arm around Drogo in a sign of approval, and then ignores Viserys’s pleas to intervene on his behalf.

Firstly, as already said, Daenerys's behavior does not change her position as Viserys's heir, and she did try " to prevent the death of her supposed king.

Secondly, you continue to force your personal interpretation as objective truth; "puts her arm around Drogo in a sign of approval" Daenerys's action to put her arm around Drogo could just as easily be a sign of her seaking his proximity for protection.

I’m not saying Viserys didn’t deserve to die. It’s also understandable that Dany didn’t intervene on Viserys’s behalf considering he just threatened her unborn child. But as understandable as Dany’s actions are, they also could be used against her to prevent her from inheriting from Viserys.

Again, no one does so other than you (and probably your friends).

Let’s do a hypo: Let’s take Season 8 Dany and Jon, but change it so that instead of being the rightful heir, Jon is just a Targaryen bastard. So, there’s no question that Dany is the rightful queen, while Jon is just her heir (as there are no trueborn folks with Targ blood remaining in this hypothetical).

I refuse to even adress a hypo in which one of the most nonsensical show is being used as gateway. (One of the many reasons of it being nonsensical is the fact that D&D tried to pass off the secret, dusty dairy entry of an unknown generic maester talking about "annulling" the Crown Prince's lawful, fruitful marriage to his highborn wife and "marrying" Rhaegar Targaryen to bethrothed Lyanna Stark in SECRET, which supposedly makes their secret child the "rightful heir" WITH NO WITNESSES, TWO DECADES AFTER EVERYONE IS DEAD as a lawfully-binded FACT, which everbody will unquestionable believe.) But hey, at least you are consistent in your fuckery, to say s8Jon should be allowed to inherited shit from s8 Daenerys (from a moral stand point)

Now, I’ve caught a lot of grief because, as much as I don’t like Season 8 Jon, I think he was justified in killing Season 8 Dany after she murdered 100,000 people and implied that she’d continue killing, including Jon’s own family. However, though I think S8 Jon was ethically justified in killing Dany, a strong argument could be made that he should not inherit from her because he killed her and would be unfairly profiting from her death.

Again, totally your personal opinion, stop passing yours off as ASoIaF's legislature.

If you agree that S8 Jon shouldn’t inherit from S8 Dany, why should book!Dany inherit from Viserys when there was even less justification for Viserys’s death? The only difference is that Drogo did the actual killing in the books, but it was with Dany’s full blessing.

The hereditary feudalistic laws of inherintance, espescially if there is one only one "trueborn" close relative left, is not a matter of arguments. If the laws of inheritance allow Tyrion Lannister to murder his father and still remain his heir, than s8!Jon is s8!Daenerys's heir the same way Daenerys is Viserys's heir. The succession of the Starks is currently a matter of arguments because no one know were Jon Snow as legitmimized bastard stands in this line (before or after Brandon and Rickon?), not the Iron Throne's. She is even more so because she did not kill him. Her acting as translater is not of concern, because his fate was sealed the minute he started to threatened a khalessi with steel in the Dothraki's sacred city.

Ultimately, I don’t think Dany being complicit in Viserys’s death is dispositive of Dany’s lack of claim. However, it is one argument that could reasonably be used to invalidate her claim. Just as Jon’s bastardy and (f)Aegon’s identity could be used to invalidate their claims.

i) AGAIN, it's only YOU to argue like that, ii) AGAIN, Jon's bastardy (explicitly the fact that he was never acknowledged as Rhaegar's bastard and never legitimized by a royal decree as Targaryen) is the fact why he doesn't have any claim to begin with iv) (f)Aegon's dubious identity is the reason why the vast majority of people will doubt that he is who he says he is. These people won't grant him a claim to the Iron Throne for that uncertaintiy. And for those that acknowledge Aerys's decree, (f)Aegon could be indeed Rhaegar and Elia's son, he still won't have a claim in their eyes.

AGAIN, he needs the marriage to Daenerys (possible one to Arianne Martell may sufficient as well) to not be seen as a pretender.

As for the matter of @brideoffires being a "white racist" (ilamo) I share @theblackqveen already summerized my feelings. And the fact that you compare "white dany stans' denial over [her] blatant racism" to fucking 13 year old sex slave child bride stockholm syndrom suffering Dany and her raping, warmongering owner tops every generalizing comments from @brideoffires

@lives4lovesworld @theblackqveen Lmao, when did @brideoffires ever "destroy" me in an arguement? Show me receipts!!!

As for the "receipts", unfortunately tumblr search does show me your discourse with her since you have blocked me, I will not spent further hours on you scrolling through multiple blogs to find these posts (about a matter I frankly do not care)

#asoiaf #asoiaf meta #✨vent time✨#daenerys targaryen #viserys targaryen #jon snow #aerys ii targaryen #rhaegar targaryen #young griff #“aegon vi targaryen”#aegon vi targaryen (son of rhaegar)#arianne martell #daemon sand #this dude has got to be troll

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staticscreenwriting · 1 year

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maybe the night would take me home II Frankie Morales

Part 1 : "Divorce And The American South" & "The Thunderbird Inn"

a Frankie Morales Story inspired by the album "We Don't Have Each Other" by Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties.

A/N : This imagine series will deal with sensitive topics please see my tags for TW. Please proceed with caution. Also there’s mention of smoking and alcohol. English is not my native language, go easy on me please. Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated

There's a hole in the wall and a square where the wallpaper is a lighter shade of beige than the rest. There probably used to be a painting or a mirror. The ceiling fan is missing one of its blades and there's a huge rip in the ugly brown curtain that's blocking the street lights from flooding the room.

He can just about make out the glow coming from the street light in front of his window. There used to be more color permeating the thin curtains and throwing kaleidoscope patterns into his motel room but people have started to take down their Christmas lights leaving him with just the ugly yellow of the street lamp.

The motel room is dull and gray and hopeless and broken and ugly and Frankie thinks it's fitting because that's exactly how he feels and really, he doesn’t mind it all that much.

The clerk at the front desk, he wants to say his name is Steve, is nice, and always pours him a cup of coffee whenever he finds Frankie sitting in the tiny lobby area of the Motel where the vending machines are. The coffee isn’t good but it’s warm and that’s enough these days.

“Long night?” he asks and every time Frankie nods and says “Sure has been.” Steve then grants him one of those smiles that lets you know the person is looking straight through your lie but they’re way too nice to call you out on your bullshit.

“Well, tomorrow’s a new day. Hope that one is better,” he replies, every time.

Frankie nods again knowing full well it won’t be.

He’s given Frankie a break on the rent this week.

“Look don’t you worry about it. Just make sure you pay me back with next week’s rent. I know you’re good for it.”

“I probably am.”

Steve was laughing then. He probably won’t laugh when he hears that Frankie’s coming up short again this week.

Back in his tiny motel room, his clammy hands grab the room's phone tightly. It will probably cost him a fortune to use it — again — though after throwing it against a solid brick wall, his cell phone is but a piece of junk left somewhere by the side of the truck stop.

He doesn't really need it anyway. Too many pictures and memories and shit he doesn't want to think about because he can’t get it back.

He takes another sip from the bottle. He thinks it's whiskey but he might be wrong. It all tastes the same these days.

Calling her won’t do any good and he knows but he can't help himself. It's like an itch that he just has to scratch. It's like a desperate need that he has to satisfy. It's like an addiction he has to feed.

It's 2 in the morning and she's most likely asleep and Frankie hates himself for waking her up. She's lost enough sleep as it is. But his mind is so loud and he needs to get all of these things off his chest. All the things he didn't say when he should have, when it counted, when it meant something, when she needed him to.

It's not the first time he's called either. He wonders if she'll ever pick up.

There's a perfectly clear picture burned into his mind of the first time he'd called her after he left. He had been stranded at some run-down truck stop that could've been the perfect location for the first kill in a horror movie. There was a bottle of water in his hand and the phone receiver in the other.

He can't recall how long he'd spent inside the phone booth reading her number out loud and trying to work up the courage to call her but he knows it's been quite a while. And when he did he was met with the dial tone. With every beep his heart sunk a little further, felt a little heavier.

" Hello this is Y/N, I can't pick up the phone right now but feel free to leave a message after the tone and I'll ring you back. Ok, bye. "

Her voice sounded so cheery and he remembers the tears threatening to leave his eyes at the sound of it. She hadn't sounded this cheery in a long long time and his heart broke knowing that was partially his fault.

" Hey Y/N, It's me .... Frankie. If you’re listening can you please pick up the phone? I know you're home. "

He could still recall her daily schedule better than anything, after all, they had been living together for years.

" I know where I went wrong. I really do. I uh— I'm at a truck stop. Not sure where I'm going yet but I'll call you. Please talk to me, baby. I love you. "

He remembers his heart breaking and breaking more and shattering and it hasn't been fixed yet. There's that little cynical corner of his brain that tells him it never will be fixed. All good things come to an end sooner or later and this is THE good thing in his life. She is the best thing. She was the chance he never thought he’d get. A shot at redemption.

That other day he found a bar just outside the township line. He goes most every night now whenever he can feel a bad night coming. All nights are bad nights now. The floors are sticky and the bar is dusty but the drinks are cheap and the barkeeper doesn’t bother to get him tangled up in any kind of conversation. All Frankie gets is a look of pity as he pours him another drink. Fuck, he didn’t know that he looks that pathetic.

The alcohol doesn’t numb his heart the way it used to. Back when he woke up in a cold sweat with visions of a life he tried so hard to leave behind he could always count on the inside of a bottle to make the demons disappear for a while. Then when that stopped working, the drugs managed to do it.

And then when he hit rock bottom, for some inexplicable reason, life chose to send him her and she made every other coping mechanism pale in comparison. Her love did not make the demons go away, or the fear, or the guilt. Her love made him realize that he could live a good life regardless. That even the worst parts of him are worthy of love.

He thinks she might’ve been wrong.

There's a half-empty pack of cigarettes laying on the nightstand. He hasn't touched them for a while. Got them at that same truck stop where he smashed his phone but only smoked half a pack before he remembered that promise he made her a long time ago, back when she had first told him, back when they were happy.

And he failed. Because for a while he’d felt like the reason he stopped smoking in the first place had vanished. If there was no one to promise something to, was there even a promise to begin with?

The cigarettes bring back memories of the second time he'd called her. It was right after he arrived here, at this very same motel. With the very same peeling wallpaper and the chipped door and the ceiling fan that is missing one blade and the carpet with the burn marks. The same motel he is basically succumbing in right now.

He was less nervous the second time he'd called her, less nervous but more fucked up. Half drunk on cheap whiskey and half drunk on the infinite sadness he's felt ever since their life went to shit.

This time he didn't make himself believe she'd pick up. He knew she wouldn't and maybe that was a good thing. Frankie didn't want her to know he was shitfaced, that he tried to numb the pain with past vices he promised to leave behind.

" Hey Y/N "

As the words rolled off his lips there was no doubt in his mind that she'd still know. He sounded drunk. He hated it.

" Just wanted to tell you that uh — I uh I've been trying to quit. I went from a pack and a half a day to this e-cigarette bullshit. "

It had been a stupid idea, thinking this e-cigarette shit would do anything for him but it was worth a try. Everything was worth a try for her.

" It stops the coughing fits. I know that you always hated my smoking habit. I hope you can be a little proud of me. I know I don't deserve it. I love you, bye."

There was a time, Frankie thinks and scoffs, when he thought love was enough. What a fool he'd been. Now he knows that's all proper bullshit.

It isn't like he doesn't love her, he loves her entirely too much for his own good.

It's that too much love can destroy you. It eats you up from the inside out.

He can't keep himself from loving her though, and from holding onto that little spark of hope that she might still love him back. After all they've been through, all they had to endure, the thought that she might one day forgive him and love him again was the only thing still keeping him afloat. Without her, he'd sink. And maybe, he thinks, maybe love is enough. It's enough to make him go on.

There's a fly buzzing around the room, sitting down on Frankie’s arm from time to time. He doesn't have the energy to swat her away.

A little voice in his mind wonders what would happen if he just kept laying here. Maybe if he only lays here long enough, maybe the bugs will eat him alive. Maybe the night will swallow him and take him home. Maybe she’ll come looking for him.

His mind wanders off to places he tried hard to forget. To the tears and the pain and the way she didn't yell at him. Not once.

She didn't scream or yell or throw stuff at him. She just stared and let it all wash over her as if she was invincible.

He knew she wasn't. Knows she isn’t now. She wasn't invincible but she was too deeply wounded to care anymore and that was the most terrifying part of it all.

He wanted her to yell so he knew she still cared.

He thinks of the dream and how he saw himself, lifeless, alone. How everyone was looking at him as they lowered his casket into the ground. How his friends were there, his brother, his family, and even the neighbors. Not her though. She wasn't there.

His fingers are dialing the familiar numbers before he can even fully register what's happening.

There's the dial tone that he's grown to know so well lately. Three more and he gets to hear her voice.

Two.

One.

" Hello this is Y/N, I can't pick up the phone right now but feel free to leave a message after the tone and I'll ring you back. Ok, bye. "

Lies. She won’t call back. But that's okay, he understands why she doesn’t. Why she can’t.

" Y/N It's me again. Frankie. "

He combs his fingers through his hair nervously.

" Of course, it's me, who else would call you at this time? I'm sorry. "

He's been saying sorry an awful lot lately. Especially considering the fact that he hasn't been very generous with that word when it really mattered.

" I had a dream. About you. Well not exactly about you. Actually, you weren't in it and that's kind of the problem. "

Remembering the dream sends a cold shiver down his back.

" I uh — I was on a plane. I flew back north, no idea where I wanted to go. All I know is that I didn't make it there. Plane went down like it was made of paper. They were all at the funeral. My funeral. Everyone. Not you though. You — You weren't there Y/N. That scares me. I hope you'd come to the funeral. I'd want you there. "

He knows it's time. She's not gonna pick up anytime soon so this might be his only chance of ever getting to admit his faults of ever talking about the actual problem, the root of all the pain and heartbreak. It's not face-to-face but it's the next best thing. It's his only shot.

" Y/N, I know I fucked up. I do know. It's just after it happened. After — "

Saying it out loud will make it real. It will break his heart once again. He's an adult though and has been running from his issues long enough. This stupid urge to flee made this all so much worse.

Take a breath.

And face the reality.

" After it happened. When we lost the baby I just, I shut off. I shut you out and I am so sorry. I just, I needed to be strong for you but I wasn't. All I did was push you away. I never listened. I wasn't there. I should've been there for you to help you get through this but I was too busy keeping myself from bursting at the seams. Fuck, I was so selfish. If I could change the way I treated you, treated the situation, trust me I would. I would. I miss her so much Y/N and I never even got to meet her and I didn't want to put this all-consuming sadness on you so I pulled away. I didn't want to make you hurt even more than you already were but that's exactly what I did and I will never forgive myself for that. I hope you can though. I love you so much. "

There's a hole in his chest the size of a newborn.

It's the size of a little baby girl he never got to meet. A little baby girl he always imagined would have his eyes and her mother's breathtaking smile. A little baby girl he'd raise to be brave and generous and smart and wonderful.

There is a hole in his chest the size of a little baby girl and he knows it will never fully heal.

He should've been there for her, his wife, the mother of his child. He had tried so hard, so hard to hide his sadness and pain from her instead of embracing it with her by his side. He should've been there with her so they could hold each other above the waters. But he let her drown by herself and he would never fully forgive himself for that.

" I love you Y/N and I'm coming home soon I promise. That's if you still want to see me. I won't let you go through the darkness alone anymore though. I love you. "

He hangs up the phone and without a warning, the tears roll down his cheeks. They're the silent kind, the painful kind. But for once, since it all happened they're not entirely from sadness, a small part of him is feeling a little lighter now that he's faced reality. A small part of him cries tears of relief. A small part of him still believes that maybe things with his wife can work out again if only he can show her how much he cares and loves her. That he can hold her hand even through the darkest of times.

A small part of him knows that it can't get worse than this.

A small part of him, a small part knows she loves him back. Even with that gray cloud hanging over him reminding him of the paperwork that might be waiting for him at home.

is dull and gray and hopeless and broken and ugly and Frankie thinks that things can only get better from here on out.

It’s 2am when he sneaks out of his room and past the lobby. Steve will forgive him, he’s sure of it. For the two weeks' rent and for not saying goodbye.

The world is fast asleep as his car takes him down the empty streets towards the bar he found some resemblance of comfort in for the last few weeks.

One last drink, he tells himself. But this one won’t be for the bad days ahead. This one will mark a page turned, a step taken.

“Whiskey?” the barkeeper inquires, already pulling the bottle from the shelf.

“Gimme a beer instead. Whatever bottles you have in the fridge is fine.”

No more words are exchanged as the barkeeper hands Frankie the cold bottle.

This one’s for the daughter he’ll never meet, he thinks, and the wife who shouldn’t love him no more but god does he hope and pray she still does. Even when he doesn’t deserve it.

He’s got half a tank of gas left and as soon as the bottle is empty he’ll make his way home.

Not the motel.

Home. Their apartment.

And he’ll face whatever is waiting there for him.

That’s the thing about losing everything — things can only get better from here on out.

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an-android-in-a-tutu · 8 months

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There was a bit of a tiff that went down yesterday among some of my spnblr colleagues, and I'm not gonna really comment on that directly, suffice it to say I blocked the person involved ages ago bc they always act like this and I find it uncomfortable and unpleasant. But I think their behaviour is notable nc it's an example of a phenomena I've been noticing more and more lately, that I'm sure smarter and more attentive people than me have already described but I'm going to give it a shot anyway.

It's essentially the belief that if you present yourself as the passive/receptive partner then your aggressive sexual advances are no big deal and just funny jokes. The obvious related thought is the idea that women can't harrass or sexually assault men, but it goes beyond that imo.

I saw a post just recently speculating on how it's funny to talk about how you want to have so muc sex if you're a bottom but if you're a top it's creepy and makes you sound like a predator which is like. Mind boggling to me in terms of the unexamined bullshit at play. And to be fair people on that post were quick to point out that using sexually aggressive language to describe what you want someone to do to you is just as much harrassment as the other way around, and that people are far too permissive of this kind of behaviour. No one made the inverse observation that "wanting to put your penis in someone" as stated in the post is not inherently creepy or sexually predatory.

Like, topping and bottoming are a morally neutral acts. I feel like this sentiment goes around once every few months but we have got to let go of the idea that penetration is inherently violent and dominating. Especially if the inverse belief is allowing people to excuse genuinely out of line behaviour because they think being the receptive partner somehow makes them inherently non-threatening.

I mean that was imo a not insignificant part of the recent booktok drama abt a woman essentially sexually harrassing a hockey player. And there was absolutely more going on, not least of which being her getting rewarded for her behaviour initially, but I think a big issue is that we kind of apply the "punching up" model to situations like this, her target was both a man and a celebrity, the balance of power tips heavily in his favour so her actions become permissible. And for some reason there's this continued perception of bottoming and topping carrying a power imbalance. But if booktok lady had been screaming at Hockey players that she wanted to fuck them in the ass, that wouldn't be any worse that yelling at them to fill all her holes. It's the same shit.

So like, if you say, have this habit of using extended graphic sexual metaphors about how, say, people disagreeing with you about a fictional character all want you to suck their huge dick so bad but you don't want to and actually their dick is super small and pathetic anyway. You haven't actually cracked the code of how to avoid being a creep bc it's your mouth and their cock and not vice versa. And when you start actually replying to people with shit like this instead of just keeping it to your own blog? Sorry but just because it's about how "Everyone Else" wants you to suck their fat dick doesn't distract from the fact that you are the one opening conversations with other people with graphic sexual language for no reason.

(You also can't pretend not to be body shaming with your countless small dick comments by saying that it's just a metaphor and you're talking about BEHAVING like you have a small dick plbt plbt plbt that's a fucking cop out answer for idiot cowards. You are talking about people "metaphorically" having a small dick as a stand in for being pathetic. "I'm not bodyshaming I'm just using having a body like this as a stand in for qualities I think are bad!" What a fucking joke. But I digress)

And like I genuinely think this person just thinks they're doing a funny bit, and I don't think they need to be canceled for it or w/e but I do feel we all need to reflect on our assumptions abt sex and accept that the rules don't change bc of gender, or submissiveness, or who's sticking what in who. Unsolicited sexual comments are unsolicited comments, and while I'm not gonna pretend that tumblr is a sacred space where we can't make jokes about screwing and dicks and balls, there's always a line, and you don't actually get a free pass to cross it by being an uwu submissive bottom so spank me daddy.

Also if you're gonna make an extended sexual metaphor about what arguing about the cw's supernatural is like, I guess go nuts show nuts but be aware that you are gonna be broadcasting your particular sexual hangups when you do. Personally I prefer to put them in my fanfiction and get embarrassed when someone points them out. But hey, different strokes.

#discourse #ig #I dont wanna tag this as fandom wank bc I'm not trying to make it abt the fandom wank but #it's kinda #fandom wank #That is also abt everyone's weird hangups about penetrative sex #sex acts are morally neutral they only become bad if they're carried out unsafely or without consent #collection of only mostly related thoughts but gd this has been bugging me

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ikosburneraccount · 7 months

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if you really block swifties then stop interacting with impossiblesuitcase. she is literally openly a swiftie on her blog and the fact that you continue to reblog from and interact with her makes me think that you don’t actually care about the damage that they’ve done to this fandom and online spaces as a whole. either you DO care about showing swifties the impact of their damage or you don’t, and therefore your pinned is bullshit. which is it? a racist sympathizer is still a racist sympathizer even if you like their fanfics. sorry

? I have impossiblesuitcase blocked. I haven't interacted with their posts since June. Their recent reblog and comment on my post shocked me as well because I do genuinely have them blocked, and I only found out about this comment/reblog from another follower who's reblog showed up in my activity section. I don't know how they were able to do that and quite frankly I'm not going to respond or engage with them when they do comment on my posts.

I think it's interesting that you seem so invested in disproving my stance and my commitment towards it. If you have genuinely looked at my blog this past week alone you can see that I haven't interacted with this person at all.

You've jumped to several major conclusions off of this one interaction that I wasn't aware of. You also seem eager to tear down my legitimacy as a person and as a blog. I can't control how or if blogs I've blocked interact with my posts but I can choose to engage/respond to them. And I won't engage with them.

I'm sorry you felt betrayed and hurt by seeing this interaction on your dash. I genuinely was unaware that they could and didn't expect them to interact with my posts. I hope this reply answers your question and I am committed to my stance to not interacting with swifties.

I hope you feel better.

#mine #ask

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i-cant-stop-fandoming-help · 6 months

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let's go over this briefly.

colin (who is like five years older than me) was very mad at me for having a screenshot of a post he made about me [with url removed] on top of my blog

i was concerned for his mental health (because i told him to stop looking at my blog since he said it triggered him and he said he could't) so i sent a signed ask to nana (because he had replied to one of colin's posts). i didn't know he had me blocked, because of how sideblogs work

i screenshotted nana's posts because, again, he was addressing me by name. i removed the URL. he sent me off-anon asks, to which i replied, let's be honest, with a lot of restraint (considering people were going about triggering my OCD and threatening violence against me). in retrospect, i should have answered the asks privately. i admit answering the asks was a mistake.

i did not ask evie/treat to make that account or do anything she did. you can reference my response to her "confession" post. she admitted to pretending to be my friend to gather information about me.

the reason i asked octo to keep the document private was due to having my URLs visible in the document. it was modified and then i told her she could release it if it became necessary.

i have reciepts, which are available upon request

i don't ship the twins together 🤷‍♂️ not that that matters

i also have a therapist.

sincerely ~@phantasm-discourse

Oh, well, my dearest proship/neg.

Considering we first found you as "anti-anti-otonokoji-twins", surely you can understand why it's believed you shipped them.

As well as that, why the fuck would you need to go on an alt account to send an ask to nana if you didn't fucking know you were blocked.

Nana addressed you by name because you signed yourself off. By name.

I don't know JACKSHIT about Colin or what he was doing, I just know you went to nana about it and Nana was uncomfortable with you.

And what confession post, the ones treat hid on the same alt they harassed nana on? I didn't take two fucking looks at that stupid ass account. I can't remember if it blocked me or I blocked it, but I was shown the screenshot through someone else.

And to my knowledge, the only asks nana sent were "please just leave me and my friend alone" repeatedly..

Also, your urls became public and involved way before the fucking document, you can't hide that much.

"treat was working to get closer to me" sure, maybe! But treat might as well have been working to protect you by going SOOOOOO FAR back into Nana's posts to find something from. Gasp! When he thought a popular ship in the fandom was 100% fine!

Also, what's up with you going to reys comments all like "you're obsessed" as if he isn't being given submissions to post, as well as people responding to him just as "obsessed" as he supposedly is.

And also, does your therapist know you don't see an issue with shipping siblings, or shipping adults with minors, or shipping abusive relationships?

Are they fine with it? Doesn't seem like a good therapist to me, as someone who's had multiple therapists.

I don't know what triggers your ocd. Hell, this is the first time I'm hearing about you having it

Let's just say we both see how it went differently, because I'm too tired to put up with some fucking twenty year olds bullshit while I'm trying to fill out a job application. And octos too sick to deal with this.

And for the love of God, leave rey alone. Leave people alone for not liking your piss poor opinions.

Also, you knew I had you blocked, so why the fresh fuck are you deciding to block evade?

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sixstepsaway · 2 years

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I am so sorry someone already sent you rude comments on your fantastic meta on Ao3. I'm also having a day of being super fed up with the fandom, and it sucks cause this is supposed to be fun! And people make it such a battlezone! You may already know, especially if you were around for the 'Sexy Times with Wangxian' ordeal, but there is a way to use site skins on Ao3 to block users from appearing on your page - I use it to block certain user fics, but coincidentally it does remove their comments from showing up as well (proven when I blocked that one who sent you the rude comments - the comments just disappeared <3)

Posting this so people can see how easy it is to do a block on AO3 even without it being built-in yet.

Thanks for the nice message. I was asked to post the meta to AO3 because it's an archive and because people have been getting a lot out of it and a specific nonnie was anxious about the idea of Tumblr nuking fan pages one day (which isn't an unrealistic concern, frankly). I wasn't doing it for comments or kudos or anything like that, I was doing it to archive on archiveofourown, and I dunno. It was four posts. I was going to just put everything up at once, I thought maybe that would be better, but I thought a few at a time would be better than clogging the tag with too much meta at once.

I might go in and make it chaptered, I dunno. The anon who asked said individual works seemed like a better option because then it could be referenced if someone wanted to tag it as "inspired by" more easily, and because to me it made sense because individual titles make finding specific metas much easier. I don't really want to change how I'm doing it just because someone was an ass, though.

Also, nonnie said meta is uncommon on AO3 and they don't really know why, but I bet I know now tbh.

Fandom can be so toxic, and sometimes it feels crushingly so (especially when I'm already having a rough patch with my anxiety), and other times it just feels like people don't... quite realize how fandom works?

Fandom doesn't exist because the show exists. OFMD doesn't just get allocated a specific amount of "fandom" because it passed a bar of diversity or spice or amount of episodes, it gets a fandom because people can't stop talking about it. It's the talking about OFMD that put it so high on rankings that Rhys Darby has already won an award and it was trending #1 on most popular new show for 7 weeks after it finished airing. Fandom isn't made from a piece of media, and fandom doesn't die when that media is killed, fandom is made from the conversations that spring from that thing.

Me posting a frustrating amount of meta into the Izzy Hands tag is actually a good thing, much like it's a good thing that people post their "I had a grilled cheese sandwich today and all I could think was how much Roach would love grilled cheese omg" into the OFMD or Roach OFMD tags and that people post their fanart and fanfictions and all the rest of it. Just because one person doesn't like that brand of fan content because it's 'half-baked bullshit' in their eyes doesn't make it less valid or more important. If we all stopped posting, fandom would die. Simple as that.

Also LMAO the sexytimes with wangxian ordeal. Oh yes, I was there for that. Worse still, I was actively in the CQL fandom for that!

Related to that: the CQL fandom had trolls similar to the ones that go around hating on Izzy. If anyone mentioned the ship Xiyao even in passing in their fic, the Xiyao troll would appear from nowhere to shit all over them. It was quite a time.

(proven when I blocked that one who sent you the rude comments - the comments just disappeared <3)

Anyway, thank you for the kind message. I really appreciate it. I don't think I'll ever understand people who decide their contribution to fandom should be toxicity.

(Speaking of anxiety; I have a couple of other messages in my box I still have to reply to, I just haven't found a moment to do it yet and now I have spicy anxiety simmering away under my skin for a while, I'm not ignoring anyone.)

#ask #lordess-dickery-doof

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kierancampire · 1 year

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I'm repeatedly having an issue at the moment where, i will seek help/answers for something in a group, usually about the girls, someone/multiple people will say something, I'll repeatedly respond to it with the same answer, more often than not that being "That wasn't the issue i mentioned" or "That won't work because..." yet i will have people still comment and say "I agree with this person/everyone else, that you should do this." and it's like, how are they seeing all the comments telling me the same thing, yet not my same repeated answers to that same thing saying that it won't work for me? Like, I'm really starting to lose my patience with this now because it's happening to me *AAAALLLLLLL* the time and i just do not get it? Like, if you can see those comments, you can see my reply to it? Also, i just don't get this thing of "I can see someone said this already, so i will address it has been said but still just say the exact same thing."? I'm honestly reaching my limit on it. I have even mentioned to people multiple times rather bluntly "If you can see those comments, you can see mine where i have already answered it saying i can't do that." yet they never respond! Not once! Like someone just said on a post "I agree, Ember needs anxiety medication." even though i responded to the original person saying why she does not need anxiety medication!

There's one dude in particular, I'm honestly a hair away from blocking him. Multiple times now he hasn't read my post, yet has commented and said "I can't read every comment but i agree with these people and you should..." so not only is he doing this issue, but multiple times his comments have made it clear he doesn't read my posts? He instead reads the comments on my posts and seems to guess what my post is about? So besides just ignoring my comments of repeated answers to repeated comments, he never reads my posts, just the comments, drives me fucking insane!

It's just, sometimes i do want/need help with things, there are things i am unsure of, there are things i need support with. But more often than not i get no answers and just a boat load of frustration. Cause it's these issues, or people seem to attempt to read into what i am saying and answer questions/problems they created, or seem to judge me incompetent completely and think i have no idea what i am talking about it all, tell me what the "real" problems are to my issues, then "help" me with that. I have now argued with multiple people as they refuse to accept that the issue is what i have stated it is, not the issue they are saying it is, like i literally got into a full blown argument recently as someone refused to accept the bowls aren't bothering my girls! They were adament that was the issue and just would not accept it wasn't!

And this whole time, at 9 fucking pm, Mickey had started blasting music INSANELY loudly! Like, incredibly loud, way more loud than normal! At 9 fucking pm at night! He can be a nice guy. But god i fucking hate this habit of his. I just wish i lived in a place where my neighbours weren't fucking cunts and i got some peace. The foyer then this fucking bullshit for god knowd how fucking long.

#personal

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diaryofomellas · 2 years

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This is the last post I will make about Lily Orchard on this blog. If she keeps pushing my buttons or if I keep receiving interesting asks on the subject, I will just make a sideblog for the purposes of unleashing hell. I am not the kind of person who sits tight while the others are punching me. I fucking fight back, especially when I know I'm right.

I'm gonna put it all under the cut because none of my followers should continue to be exposed to this crap. Y'all don't deserve the psychic damage.

Not bringing up issues until well after the fact.

"I don't remember unfollowing you, but now that you called my attention to it, I'm not gonna do anything about it and I won't follow you back because reasons."

We all know tumblr is buggy as all heck, but if someone I followed asked me why I stopped following them and I had no clue, I would follow them back. I mean... Wouldn't that be the most logical course of action?

It happened to me before. After cleaning up my following list of a few inactive blogs, I noticed I was no longer following a friend of mine. I assumed I must've accidentally unfollowed them during the cleanup so I just followed them back again. Simple as that.

But no... Lily is special. Logic doesn't apply to her. Lily had no issues to talk about and didn't have any memory of intentionally unfollowing me and yet, she never followed me back.

My verdict? BULLSHIT.

And then, a couple of weeks later, this happened.

I sinned. I dared to disagree politely with Lily Orchard by presenting arguments to support my point of view and we can't have that in this house!

Can you imagine the disaster it would be if suddenly her followers noticed that it was allowed to disagree with Lily? The scandal! There would be an uprising!

So what did she do? She hid my replies from her post. As if... Somehow that would erase the whole conversation?? Because we can't have this kind of discourse on her blog, oh no. No, let's just fucking hide all the evidence, sweep everything under the rug, no one can ever know!

BUT WAIT, there's more.

Maybe I was reaching. Maybe I was imagining things. But the timing was amazing, don't you agree? Sometimes life is just full of coincidences...

So obviously, because I had once asked Lily for us to always be honest with each other, I poked her on discord to talk about it.

When I brought up the issue the same day it happened and specifically asked her if there was something wrong, what did she do?

This Anduin topic is something that clearly bothers her and was clearly bothering her back then.

But of course, I am the one who doesn't bring up the issues until well after the fact. So well after the fact that she never fucking brought it up until after she blocked me. And if I hadn't asked Mikaila, I wouldn't even know what the issue was!

And, while we're at it, am I the only one who thinks it's ironic that Lily keeps complaining about not having enough interaction on her blog but then hides the replies when people interact with her?

Oh wait, I forgot. She only wants interaction when people are worshipping her and drinking her every word like they're dying of thirst in a desert and she's the only one offering a sip of truth water.

How many times did you see me comment on that Anduin plot arc in your fic? Truthfully, how many? I probably said something once or twice when it came up, and then never again. Even though you posted an uncomfortable amount of excerpts regarding that topic.

I'm sure there are records of it somewhere on the internet but I'm too tired to go look it up now. I couldn't even read those excerpts because I felt disgusted. But I didn't bring that issue up because, unlike you, I have common sense. I understand that it's your fucking fic and you can write whatever you want. I didn't think it was my place to question because I actually have a functional brain and I can separate fiction from reality.

I don't have an obsession with Anduin. With Sylvanas, sure. And I proudly admit to that!

What I also proudly admit to is having an obsession with the truth. And you no longer know what that word even means.

It's almost as if you're having difficulty keeping track of what actually happened and what you decided happened. You've thrown out so many lies that it's clear you're no longer able to keep track of them yourself.

Or maybe you can and you're just another toxic piece of shit floating around the interwebs.

Either way, it's unhealthy and you need help.

And, by the way, what you call "harassing your wife" was me giving you a chance to tell me why you two were lying before I made a post about it, and offering my support to her in spite of that. Like I have always done.

Out of respect for her and for the other people that were mentioned in that conversation I won't post the screenshots here. But I stand by everything I wrote to her today.

#receipts #lily orchard

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daughter-of-sapph0 · 2 years

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tiktok is the worst website ever

some stupid commenter was screaming in the replies of a video that showed of the trans flag "Uh, wHy dId yoU uSe the PeDo FlaG?!?!? 🤬😡😡😤🤬"

the cis girl who made that video was trying to explain to the commenter like they were five, except the commenter was a 57 year old white woman. the girl who made the video calmly explained that the trans flag, and the fake pedo flag that was made by nazis, dont even look similar.

I've seen this situation way too many times. a homophobic and transphobic asshole pretends to be stupid and claim that the trans flag is the pedo flag. people who know absolutely nothing about the LGBT community other than what they're told on facebook will belive them, and then try to murder anyone with a trans flag because they've been convinced that it's actually the pedo flag.

so I called the commenter out on their bullshit. I said "no one is stupid enough to confuse two very different flags. you're lying and you know it. you're literally trying to convince people who don't know better that the trans flag is used by pedophiles. you're literally trying to get people killed"

and the girl who made the video said I need to "be nice to people". okay, first off, cissy, I know what this person is trying to do. they're spreading misinformation that literally gets people killed. I know you wouldn't care because the only time you care about trans people is when you're pretending to be an ally to get more views. and also, there's literally proof that this person is not acting in good faith. if you scroll through the commenters videos, you'll see her complaining about "anti white racism", how "kyle rottenhouse is a victim" (yes, the 17 year old white supremacist who shot and murdered two people), how "crt is evil satanic leftist propaganda", and more. I know you want to try to give people the benefit of the doubt. you want to believe that this person wasn't being malicious, and was just stupid and got two (very different) flags mixed up. but no. you can't do that here. because this is literally a tactic that fascists use against all minorities. they will literally spread misinformation to people who don't know better, and then those people will go out and harass, attack, beat, and kill minorities.

people are deserving of respect and kindness, but they lose that respect when they literally try to get people killed. so maybe instead of getting mad at trans people for cussing out a violent transphobe, maybe be an actual ally and fucking block and report them instead of showing off their comment to all your followers and (unintentionally or not) exposing them to misinformation.

#dostxt

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nothorses · 3 years

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Is there a way to talk about the specific transphobia, misogyny, and invisibility that trans mascs face without instantly being labeled as transmisogynistic for bringing it up?

Especially when TERFs get brought up, people get nasty with trans mascs for insinuating that we face things trans fems don't.

Thats not to say they don't have it bad. They definitely do and I'm in their corner! But why does it feel like no one is ever in ours? Why can't we talk about our specific issues without instantly becoming an enemy to trans fems?

I don’t know if there’s like, one specific way to do this. I’ve gotten countless comments, reblogs, asks, and tags that accuse me of transmisogyny, for mentioning transmascs and the issues we face at all.

I get them for posts where I go out of my way to make sure nothing I’m saying could be misinterpreted as transmisogynistic, where I address transmisogyny directly as important, and on posts that have absolutely nothing to do with transfeminine people to begin with. I get them on posts that trans women reblog and add to in support of my points. I get them on posts where I’ve literally just screenshotted a trans woman speaking up in support of transmascs, with no additional commentary.

The thing is, sometimes people just want you to be silent. Sometimes people just don’t want to have to think about the oppression of transmascs; they don’t want to have to challenge their transphobia against us.

What I can tell you, though, is that it’s okay to just... not engage with stuff like this. I block people who are acting in bad faith, I delete asks and replies that are sent in bad faith, and I ignore people who aren’t interested in having a legitimate conversation. You can avoid a lot of drama by just not acknowledging the people trying to start it.

I find it also helps a lot to skip the bullshit. People will make a lot of weird, twisted, baseless arguments just to make themselves look more right than you. If you can see through to the root of the issue and address that, maybe just skip fighting about the stuff that’s clearly not worth fighting about. End conversations when it becomes clear it’s not going anywhere. If things come up again in other situations, maybe address them separately.

Don’t be afraid to set boundaries, enforce them, and skip giving your time and energy to people that don’t deserve it.

#Anonymous

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electricprincess96 · 3 years

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God so a comment from a Chinese person on YouTube (which makes me wonder... is this a Chinese person outside of China? Is YouTube allowed in China? And if it is I doubt that video about China trying to Appropriate Korean Culture would be available. If this is a Chinese Person outside of China then I'm sorry at that point ignorance is a choice and most Chinese people know here in the UK wouldnt dream of claiming Kimchi or Hanbok was Chinese because they know they have their own beautiful culture and history they can celebrate instead) said that because these Korean cultural things were created during China's rule over the Korean peninsula its Chinese even though they were created on the Korean Peninsula by people native to the Korean Peninsula, and the countries on the Korean Peninsula today are North and South Korea, not China. Obviously there is only so much you can do with food, there will be influences and similarities especially between cultures that did intermingle a lot (because China or at least ancient Chinese Kingdoms at one time did rule over large parts of Asia including the Korean Peninsula) but the fact if Kimchi that we know of today is Korean, if you ask anyone around the world that's ever had Kimchi they'll say it's Korean.

They also said calling these things Korean and not Chinese is "shameful" and then listed some Japanese things and said calling these Japanese was "shameful" as they are not Japanese (it was a type of herbal medicine so I can't confirm how right or wrong they are there but their comments about Kimchi and Koreans being shameful was enough to make me think they were just an all around ignorant person).

Also they copy and pasted this block of text as a reply to Every. Single. Comment. On. The. Video. Even if the comment was unrelated to Kimchi (but also like maybe you could argue Kimchi, I don't think you can because the rest of the world already knows Kimchi specifically (obviously other ways of fermenting vegetables are different) is Korean food to China would never win that battle they waited too long to make that claim. BUT claiming actual Korean People... yeah they have no leg to stand on, they have no historical context bullshit and stuff like that, claiming actual people just comes across as very colonial).

#i dont want to make a china tag dont make me do it #tumblr commentary

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babygirlkiki1016 · 4 years

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Caught

The Lynnwood Inn, which was our next stop. However after the Wendigo situation, Deans been treating me differently, he's been flirting with me. There's something up with him, I thought, was it because of the night in motel? Or the kiss after the Wendigo mission. I look over at him to notice there is a mostly empty plate in front of Dean, who is circling obituaries in a newspaper. An attractive waitress, whose nametag says Wendy, approaches.

"Can I get you anything else?" She asks mostly focusing on Dean. Dean looks up, sees the waitress then goes back to the news paper as Sam comes over and sits down.

"Just the check, please." Sam orders.

"Okay." And Wendy walks away.

"You know Dean I'm surprised you weren't flirting with the waitress." I say, Dean points to Wendy walking away, who's wearing short shorts.

"Well you see her, she's not my type."

"Dude every girl is your type." Sam laughs.

"Not every girl, I highly doubt-" I point to myself "-girls like me are his type."

"If you believe that then your wrong darling." He winks at me. "And the two of you are talking like I'm not here." Sam looks at me, then at Dean who hands him the newspaper.

"Here, take a look at this, I think I got one. Lake Manitoc, Wisconsin. Last week Sophie Carlton, eighteen, walks into the lake, doesn't walk out. Authorities dragged the water, nothing. Sophie Carlton is the third Lake Manitoc drowning this year. None of the other bodies were found either. They had a funeral two days ago."

"A funeral?" Sam asks.

"Yeah, it's weird, they buried an empty coffin. For, uh, closure or whatever."

"How is that closure? If the coffins empty then the body is still out there. Doesn't sound like closure at all."

"You have a point there Y/n, also your hair is green." Sam points out, I groan and pull up my hoodie to hide my hair while Sam takes more notes. "Back to the topic. People don't just disappear, Dean. Other people just stop looking for them."

"Something you want to say to me?" Dean growled.

"The trail for Dad. It's getting colder every day."

"Sam's right Dean, it seems like whereever we go he was never there-" Dean silences me with his the wave of his hand.

"So what are we supposed to do?"

"I don't know. Something. Anything." Sam huffs.

"You know what? I'm sick of this attitude. You don't think I wanna find Dad as much as you do?"

"Yeah, I know you do, it's just-"

"I'm the one that's been with him every single day for the past two years, while you've been off to college going to pep rallies. We will find Dad, but until then, we're gonna kill everything bad between here and there. Okay?" Sam rolls his eyes, making Dean walk out of the Inn, shaking his head in disappointment. We left the Inn a few hours later, and the three of us made our way to our next case. Sam was in the back sleeping, while me and Dean were in the front.

"....So...." Dean suddenly says, desperately trying to strike up a conversation. "Are we gonna talk about it?"

"....Talk about what?"

"The kiss."

"....What kiss?"

"The one you gave me a few days ago, after we saved Haley and her brothers. I know you wanted to kiss me but you decided against it." My heart started pounding, what was there to talk about? I had a bad feeling of how this was gonna go.

"Dean-"

"Y/n I....I want to ok? Your....You make me feel...." He glances over at me, then travels down to my hand that's resting in my thigh. He slowly grabs it, and squeezes like I'll disappear.

"I make you feel what?...." I say getting his attention again.

".....I don't know, but when I'm around you I have this sick like feeling-a good sick like feeling. I've never felt this way before...but sadly we can't your still a kid and if we were to, ya know."

"I understand."

"I will promise you this, when you turn eighteen, I'm gonna give you a kiss you'll never forget. And one after that, and one after that, and one after that." He smiles but doesn't let go of my hand, and neither do I. We sat there for hours, just enjoying each other's company, hoping that this moment would never end.

When we got to Wisconsin, we make our way up to the house that belong to the Carlton's. Dean knocks on the door and a man opens it.

"Will Carlton?" Dean asks.

"Yeah, that's right."

"I'm Agent Ford, this is Agent Hamill and Samson. We're with the US Wildlife Service." Dean holds up an ID, Will leads us around the house and I notice that a man is sitting on a bench on the dock.

"She was about a hundred yards out." Will says. "That's where she got dragged down."

"And you're sure she didn't just drown?" Dean asks.

"Yeah. She was a varsity swimmer. She practically grew up in that lake. She was as safe out there as she was in her own bathtub.

"So no splashing? No signs of distress?" I questioned.

"No, that's what I'm telling you."

"So she was just pulled down but never came back up? Like kind of a shark attack?"

"Yea..."

"Did you see any shadows in the water? Maybe some dark shape breach the surface?" Sam wondered.

"No. Again, she was really far out there."

"You ever see any strange tracks by the shoreline?" Dean says.

"No, never. Why? Why, what do you think's out there?"

"We'll let you know as soon as we do." As Dean heads back to the car Sam catches up to me.

"So, you and my brother huh?" He smirks.

"We're not together."

"Yet, that's right I heard your conversation." My cheeks begin to burn, and my hair turns purple.

"So you were pretend sleeping?" You could hear the fear in my voice.

"No I tried to sleep, I just happened to overhear how Dean is gonna give you a kiss you'll never forget, and one after that, and one after that-"

"Shut up!" I push him lightly with my cheeks burning, he laughs as I walk even faster. We get back in the car, the next stop was the police station. It was silent, but I could feel Sam looking between me and Dean from the back seat.

"Can I help you Sam?" Dean demanded.

"Nope." Sam said with a smile, he was thinking about me and Dean.

"You keep looking at me then at Y/n."

"He heard our conversation Dean." I confess, Dean smirks and looks back at his brother.

"Sam you sly dog!"

"What, it's not my fault you two are loud talkers."

"Oh that's bullshit! You didn't sleep cause you wanted to know if something was gonna happen!" I laugh.

"Well something did...cause when it's your birthday-"

"Shut up Sam!" Me and Dean yelled in chorus.

The station was small, but somewhat cozy. I looked around as Dean introduced us as the Wildlife Service.

"Now, I'm sorry, but why does the Wildlife Service care about an accidental drowning?" Jake Devin's, the sheriff asked.

"You sure it's accidental? Will Carlton saw something grab his sister." Sam replies and we follow the sheriff into his office.

"Like what?" Jake motions to chairs in front of his desk. "Here, sit, please. There are no indigenous carnivores in that lake." Sam sits down while Dean offers the other seat to me. I smile at the gesture and kiss his cheek before I sat down. "There's nothing even big enough to pull down a person, unless it was the Loch Ness Monster."

"Yeah." Dean chuckles and Sam glances over at him.

"Will Carlton was traumatized, and sometimes the mind plays tricks." Jake sits down and continues. "We dragged that entire lake. We even ran a sonar sweep, just to be sure, and there was nothing down there."

"That's weird, though, I mean, that's, that's the third missing body this year." I state. "There had to be something there, Sophie Carlton was a varsity swimmer. There's no way she drowned...."

"I know. These are people from my town. These are people I care about." The sheriff admits, he seemed sad, but yet had a somewhat guilty look on his face. "Anyway..." Jake sighs. "All this...it won't be a problem much longer."

"What do you mean?" Sam leaned forward, obviously interested.

"Well, the dam, of course."

"Of course, the dam. It's, uh, it sprung a leak." Dean says, trying to make the conversation less awkward.

"It's falling apart, and the feds won't give us the grant to repair it, so they've opened the spillway. In another six months, there won't be much of a lake. There won't be much of a town, either. But as Federal Wildlife, you already knew that."

"Exactly, sorry it's been a long week." I apologize as a young woman, taps on the door.

"Sorry, am I interrupting?" She asks, me and Sam stand up knowing that it's time to probably leave. "I can come back later."

"Gentlemen, this is my daughter." The Sherrif says and I hold out my hand to her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Y/n." We shake hands.

"Andrea Barr, Hi." She greets.

"They're from the Wildlife Service. About the lake." Andrea's father explains.

"Oh." Then a boy, walks in around Andrea. "Oh, hey there. What's your name?" I ask, with a smile but he walks away without speaking and Andrea follows, we do the same.

"His name is Lucas." She says and gives him some crayons out of a box.

"Is he okay?" Sam worried.

"My grandson's been through a lot, we all have." Jake stands and goes to the office door. "Well, if there's anything else I can do for you, please let me know."

"Thanks. You know, now that you mentioned it, could you point us in the direction of a reasonably priced motel?" Dean asks.

"Lakefront Motel. Go around the corner. It's about two blocks south." Andrea comments. "I'm headed that way anyway. So I'll walk you there."

"I think we can find it just fine." I say, Sam looks at me and smirks, he knew. I was jealous, she nods with a frown on her face and turns to Jake. "I'll be back to pick up Lucas at three." She turns to Lucas. "We'll go to the park, okay, sweetie?" Andrea kisses him on the head.

"Thanks again." Sam smiles and we walk out the door, Andrea walks outside with us.

"So, cute kid." Dean comments.

"Thanks." She says, then points south. "Like I said, two blocks, that way."

"Thanks." Sam says and she smiles at Dean. "Must be hard, with your sense of direction, never being able to find you a good pick up line." And with that she leaves while calling back over her shoulder. "Enjoy your stay!" Sam slaps Deans shoulder "'Kids are the best'? You don't even like kids."

"I love kids." Dean looks at Sam like he's offended.

"Name three children that you even know."

"Y/n?" He wraps an arm around me, with a smile on his face thinking he won this argument.

"She's older than Lucas, she's not a little kid anymore."

"She acts like a kid."

"Seriously?! I'm right here!" I rant, Dean rubs my head but I push his hand away playfully.

"See? Your pouting, and your short to." He chuckles. "Anyways let's get to that motel, we have work to do."

As soon as we got our room I grabbed some clothes and instantly claimed the bathroom. Sam went to get some food for us so it was just me and Dean. It had been a while since I felt hot water run down my back, and damn did it feel good. Sadly I had to get out and go back to reality, when I exited the bathroom Dean was watching Dr. Sexy. I put my stuff down and settled next to Dean.

"So Dr. Sexy?" I asked, I could hear him hum in response. "Well that doctor is pretty hot."

"The girl or guy?"

"Both are good looking."

"Hm." I look over at him, he was staring at me.

"What?"

"Nothing...." He turns off the TV and sits on the edge of the bed, tiredly rubbing his face. I moved to his side, worried.

"Dean are you ok?" I put my hand on his, caressing it gently. He looks back at me, those eyes we're filled with...lust. He didn't take his eyes off of me. I scooted closer to him, making him blush at how close we were but he stayed focused on me.

"You know what?" He mutters.

"Hm?" I wondered, as he slowly got closer to me. "Screw it." Not even five seconds later he grabbed my waist and pulled me against him, smashing his lips against mine. I instantly kissed back, my hands traveling through his hair as he pulled me onto his lap. His rough lips went together with mine like a puzzle, he was kissing me with passion. This was it...our moment, the moment I had been waiting for. I tugged at his shirt, which he immediately took off, then his lips merged with mine once more. I could feel him smile, was he happy? Didn't he want to wait since I was to young? Who cares, who the hell cares right now, I focused my thoughts back on Dean who flipped us over. Now he was on top of me, kissing down my neck, making me moan.

"Dean?" Sam called out, making us both stop and slowly look over at him. He was holding our chinese food with a surprised look upon his features.

The New Hunter Masterlist

@samsgirl93 @nani-gram @eliwinchester99

#dean supernatural #dean winchester #dean winchester imagines #sam winchester #sam winchester imagines #dean winchester smut #dean x reader #dean x y/n #dean fanfiction #dean winchester sad imagines #sam x y/n #sam x you #sam x mc #sam x reader

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shslshortie · 7 years

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Okay I'm going to make a post because I can't deal with everything that got asked/shat out my way

I am sorry for this rant, but I am legit ready to leave tumblr again. Like I forgot why I hated it so much, but lord is this an unhealthy environment for so many reasons. Mainly, because of discourse/call out culture. And I'm obviously not talking about being "PC" or anything, but just being an all around mean spirited person if anyone says anything that either 1) doesn't agree with you/your views/your fandom, 2) if anything is even slightly false or not entirely fact-checked, or 3) goes against most popular opinions without writing an entire graduate-level thesis about why you believe your opinion/view/observation is valid. Like if you want to complain or voice an opinion about anything, or even joke about something that you think is funny, you could very likely almost immediately be called out or even be sent WAVES of hate that usually is completely undeserved. Especially since people are hiding behind a screen of anonymity or at least behind an online persona, they don't think about the person on the receiving end of it. They don't think how their mean spirited comments or backlash could effect them mentally, and they don't even stop to think what else could be going on in their lives. Yesterday, (was it yesterday? I think it was yesterday, but GOD was it a long fucking day if it was) I made some posts after recapping through the Rost. Cup after I watched each medalist's short and long, as well as all the US skaters, big names, and for the men and ladies, almost all 11 skaters honestly. I love figure skating, and NO, unlike a lot of people wrongfully assumed, am not a part of the "fandom" and did not get into it because of YOI. Was a passion reignited from like a barbeque level flame to a bonfire with YOI's help? Yes. But would it probably have gone to a similar level with the Olympic season going into full swing? Highly likely. But anyways, I made some posts because I wanted to voice some observations, complaints, and things I thought were funny because tumblr is the only place I ever really rant/voice theories/talk about a lot of my interests, since I don't have any irl friends who are interested in almost half of the things I am. So, tumblr is usually the place that I dump these feelings/thoughts. Sure, one of them was a little off-color, and posted without thinking, but after about an hour (and like 3-4 replies I think), I looked back on it, and realized it didn't need to be posted out there, even if I didn't mean it to be mean. Does this mean I owed every single person who "called me out" for being uninformed, or for being mean, or for being whatever the hell I am a reply? No. Did I know that some things were answered over Twitter, or weibo (sp?) or Reddit, or whatever other gd social media that I don't use? No. Does that man I am uniformed and spreading lies or whatever? I don't think so, and that doesn't make me a fucking villain. I also deleted it, because I realized I was wrong. End of story, part 1. But then, the figure skating fandom found some of my posts/commentary/rants. (god forbid they somehow find this and attack me ALL OVER AGAIN, except for y'all that were part of this whole issue. I hope y'all see this, because it's not like I blocked you. Except for one tumblr user who blocked me because of my post? Like you do you, except don't reblog my post and block me so I can't see what you said, presumably about how I am a terrible person). And apparently 1) if you insult/don't like/say Y***** H**** didn't do his best/were disappointed in him, or if you like the person who won over him more... Then you deserve to die. And 2) if you even make a post about YOI or other anime, you are a fake fan who knows nothing. And 3) even mirroring almost the exact words of sports (specifically figure skating) commentators in your posts means nothing? Like it OBVIOUSLY means that you are making up bullshit to hate on skaters that are popular and are misinformed, right??? Or if you say one thing that was similar to an APPARENTLY problematic broadcast group, that nothing (including any commentary from official other broadcasts, because GUESS WHAT: it's hard to find recordings of all of the programs and exhibitions with English commentary, and there are usually 3-4 networks that have it, and SO MANY people upload different ones to YouTube) else you say matters or has any merit. I haven't even read all of the hate mail and submissions I received from this debacle. My mental health can't take it. I literally woke up for school the next morning, saw my notifications and couldn't get myself to stop crying from the anger/upsetness/trauma/depressed thoughts that bubbled up with all of it, and I couldn't even get myself to go to class because I was so shaken. Like visibly, physically shaken, to the point where I couldn't think straight and I literally had tremors from how upset and unstable it made me feel. Tumblr should be a place where I can voice my opinion on something I am passionate about without all this hate. I literally have no other place. Right now, irl, I got dragged into drama (not mine, I swear, I was just a witness and got pulled into the mess) with my honor society, and the girl who started it all is trying to pit the entire organization against me. I can't post anything on my finsta, and God forbid I even tried to post anything in Facebook. (Not like I would). I am already in a very dark place mentally and emotionally because of the trauma this is putting me through, and how unwanted, useless and disgusting everybody is making me feel. I shouldn't be getting that from strangers who just decided to make my life even more miserable on top of it. Legitimately, out of the 30-40 comments/asks/replies/submissions I recieved, only one person even tried to realize where I was coming from or to educate me on what I had done wrong or missed in my analysis. But some of their wording just mirrored all the hate l had recieved, or even other things I had been told in real life that just made me cry even harder and I still can't bring myself to reply to even the person who was civil. My one big point to anyone who sees this is (besides don't be a dick/cyber bully/create and stir up unnecessary discourse) is don't assume that people don't know what they're talking about? Or don't assume that they are fake fans? And don't make people spell every letter of their opinion out for you in a 12 page thesis if it doesn't comply with the tumblr norm. Cuz here are some fun facts about me that I don't normally publicize / post about on tumblr: Yes, I am an anime fan, but Jesus Christ I love/am a huge fan of WAY more than I am in the fandom for. I am honestly only in like 4-5 anime fandoms. Same thing goes for other things I like, such as Harry Potter or marvel. I can like things, A LOT, and be passionate about them without being in the fandom. That doesn't mean I don't like it or I'm not knowledgable on the subject. That doesn't mean that I am an idiot for not knowing a fact/opinion/theory that has made its way around the fandom, that I'm not a part of. YES, I am a HUGE SPORTS FAN. It was legitimately also my fucking career (as a sports reporter/journalist/broadcaster). Do I post on tumblr about Baseball or Football or Hockey? Almost never. Does that make me any less of a fan, or does that make me any less knowledgeable about teams and rules? No. Does that mean that I didn't play/participate in almost every sport growing up? (baseball for 6 years, I still play Intermural football, tennis for 3 years, volleyball for 4, soccer for 1, swimming for like 5 years, I tried track, even karate and some other random stuff.) YES, I AM FUCKING KNOWLEDGABLE ABOUT PERFORMANCE SPORTS. I have participated/competed/trained/still watch almost every kind of performance sport. Of course color guard and marching band has been the longest, and the thing I was best at (7 years), but I grew up doing all kinds of dance and I still do lots of dance, as well as TONS of my own choreography. I've done baton and cheer for about 1-2 years each too. I did gymnastics for 4 years — was I very good? hell no. But do I know about it and appreciate it? Yes. SAME THING GOES FOR FIGURE SKATING. I only had like half a years worth of lessons, and like 3 routines that I ever finished and performed with figure skating, but that is because it is an expensive af sport, and I had way more activities and sports that I was better at, more passionate about learning, and were more accessible. BUT did I grow up going to figure skating shows like Disney on Ice or Stars on ice? Did that stop me from waiting in line for hours to get Michelle Kwan and other famous figure skaters autographs? No. Did that stop me from watching almost every single minute of the 2014 and 2010 Olympics? No. Do I still remember watching parts of the 2006 Olympics with my parents and absolutely being ENTHRALLED and wanting to do that too? YES. I still remember watching the 2014 Olympics from my aunt's house when I was staying on a cot in her living room because my mother was in the hospital and CRYING when I saw Y* H* perform, break world records, and win the gold. It was a sense of normalcy and awe because everything else going wrong in my life didn't matter while I was watching these amazing athletes perform. And GUESS WHAT, since I'm not really a part of the Figure Skating fandom (just like I'm not in the musical theatre fandom, or in anything regards to hair or makeup) I don't post about my own hype or plans regarding how excited I am for things to come out. So nobody here on tumblr, or almost ANYONE knew how excited I was for this upcoming Grand Prix season for the first actual competition of the Olympic season. I watched almost every challenger series video, as well as the autumn winter classic and competitions of the like. Even the JGPF events in anticipation. But guess what: I literally have a note on my phone that has all of Team USA's competition schedules, and their scores that they have gotten so far (like at the COR), along with a list of my favorite international skaters, and other new skaters to watch. I was so hype, so excited, and I thought that maybe, since figure skating had boomed in popularity, thanks in part to YOI (but also, helped people be more vocal and open about how much they love the sport even if ex already did) I would be able to discuss the excitement with other people. But no. Instead of being able to say "omg I'm so excited for blah blah blah, I hope they make the Olympic team. But I also love this show concept and this other persons costume, and you also can't count out blah blah blah" and being civil with conversation among other fans... They instead will say " wow you like blah blah blah? But you said this about them, and that offends me so you're wrong, and you forgot this tiny detail from 3 years ago, and you like anime so you OBVIOUSLY only care about figure skating because of YOI. Take your bandwagon fan bullshit away from me and go kill yourself". So now, I am staying the fuck away from the figure skating fandom, I've literally left half of my choreography untouched for almost 2-3 months, don't want to read/finish any of my YOI fanfics, and will probably even have a hard time watching Skate Can this weekend (even though like 6 of my favorite skaters are competing, and I was so excited before). Guess I'll just have to annoy my snapchat friends with videos of skating and me screaming because of skating. Fuck you tumblr, and I doubt I'll make any more original posts outside of APO planning and reblogs in the foreseeable future,

#figure skating #I don't care about other tags so oops oh well #fuck you FS fandom #you are ruining something I love #I literally have cried again while writing this #and I feel sick like I want to vomit #my self esteem is at a healthy -94 right now #shut up Dani #long post

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