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#also somewhere in there i went from 'i like them all equally (but lilia is the most fun to draw)'
egophiliac · 2 months
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What do you like about the Diasomnia boys if I may ask?
I always love hearing about the different reasons people enjoy characters.
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I mean, c'mon. he has split custody over Sebek okay
also, Lilia in particular has maybe the best timeskip character development of all time
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#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 chapter 4 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 chapter 4 spoilers#stage in playful land#i hope this is legible whoops#anon i am sorry but you made the fatal mistake of asking me to talk about diasomnia#insert 'i just think they're neat' jpg#i do like the other characters a lot but they are definitely my favorites#they just hit a lot of my favorite things in characters i guess!#yes even you sebek even though you keep shrieking NINGEN at me#(it's okay he gets Character Development™ later)#and their dynamic! it's great! these guys frikking love each other SO much and they WILL have terrible terrible angst about it#ohoho delicious#give me all your emotional hangups baybeeeee#also somewhere in there i went from 'i like them all equally (but lilia is the most fun to draw)'#to 'lilia is absolutely my favorite (and still the most fun to draw) (EVEN MORE fun now thank you swishy ponytail!)'#(it was probably when his candy coating got a little scratched and whoops all the tragedy fell out)#(where's that 'get loved loser' post because i need to staple it to lilia's forehead)#i am extremely bad at putting things into words so please don't ask me to explain it any further#just know that the diafam is everything to me and if we don't get more episode 7 soon i'm going to crumble into dust and blow away#we'll be getting the crowleytimes on monday and maybe there will be. idk. some foreshadowing or something in his groovy#probably not but LOOK i'm desperate
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Hii, I'm glad you're back . Even if it was for a few days you really left a place in tumblr not just for your work but for your presence itself.
I had a question for a while and I'm sorry if you answered it before and I seemed to not notice , if that's the case then forgive my ignorance but I was wondering , since sebek seems to respect his grandfather alot and has inherited the hate for humans from him and it's a known fact in self-aware au that the faes 'love' the overseer alot I must say.. does that mean that sebek also inherited his 'love' for the overseer from his granpa? If so how did green grandpa see the overseer, what made him 'love' them and how does he show it .
If you don't want to write this then feel free to ignore it , hope you have a great day and don't forget to drink water and eat well<33
Hi there Anon. It's so sweet of you to say that. I didn't think I would have made such an impression on anyone. But I completely forgot to write about Sebeks grandfather -_-
Well, better late than never.
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Self-aware au
WARNINGS: Jp-version spoiler (like, the whole thing!!!), (Platonic!) yandere themes, war, religion, unhealthy mindset, isolation, unhealthy family dynamic
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(Platonic!) Yandere headcanons
Ah yes, our local way too loud and loyal member of the reptilian family. No need to to worry about him. I mean, what could go wrong? (Hehe…)
Baul was not from the Valley of Thorns. Growing up in Sunset Savannah he did not grow up with the beliefs of the Faes (in other words, he was not part of a religious cult)
So imagine the huge shock he felt when he finally became a solider under the Draconia banner and started to become more and more like the other Faes
Well, for starters, yes, he wasn't indoctrinated into the whole church thing since birth but also wasn't raised to see you as an equal like the beastmen of the Savannah
You could say that he was a healthy mixture of both
Emphasis on the “was”
You see, isolation and being the only one sticking out (if we discount the humans invading the valley) does leave you open for a lot of things
If we count two (being the surroundings he was in) and two (his more or less unnoticed loneliness) together, we can see pretty fast where that led
Never mind his superior (and friend I mean come on they might as well be brothers) Lilia constantly rambling about the Overseer, savior of all, and how you accepted everyone in your kind embrace
Ok. Nice. Neat. Great. In the beginning, Baul wasn't very interested in joining any kind of religion
But the longer the war held on, the more he wished there was someone he could ask for help in his task of protecting those he deemed close to himself (you see the generational pattern?)
At some point, even the proudest of all can't hold on for forever
So he turned to you, the supposed God that was on so gentle
And goddamn that religious gaslighting and placebo effect worked damn well
Not only did he feel like there was someone there who supported him from somewhere in the universe (even though that was just him believing too much but let have him have some hope, ok?) but also he finally had a community
Whenever he would leave one of the many churches in the valley a Fae would approach, thanking him for protecting their home
Sooner than later did the former non-believer think of himself as your chosen shield of the valley
The war came and went away
If only the same thing could be said about Bauls new religious beliefs
And when he saw that grandson of his, cute little chubby hands that gripped a wooden toy sword tightly, he knew that his position as the valleys shield would not cease
Yes, even Baul would die one day. Fae or not, he was at the end of the day mortal
But that talent of his grandson would surely be of use to you, right?
If his younger self would see him like this, would it run away? Would it feel disgust at the thought that his future self would use his own grandson for selfish, religious reasons?
If only Baul knew that “God” didn't even know they were living beings that existed in a different world…
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nagalias-mindscape · 7 months
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Blame my sister for this. A Twisted Wonderland Idea-Sprout. Yuu, directly / indirectly raised by the Great Seven because their older sibling was the real hero/heroine that Crowley was trying to summon because he wanted said hero for their legendary feats during the war where the Great Seven fought.
Deuce: Wait. You knew the Great Seven as a kid? What were they like?
Yuu: Mary had her moments of gentleness in between upholding the laws of her realm. Scar liked to slink out when his advisors weren't looking to go sunbathing. Ursula enjoyed games where the rules were simple and didn't require you to double check or reread anything for clarification. Jafar wasn't actually trying to marry the princess- he thought it very horrifying that someone would offer their teen daughter to a fifty year old sultan with the idea of getting grandchildren. Hilda was more powerful than she was beautiful, and she once accidentally reduced her castle to rubble- no one died, thankfully. I called Hades a bon fire once and got tasked to make s'mores using his fire- at the price of making some for himself. Nifty acts all scary, and she has to be to keep her kingdom from falling into ruins- at least back then she did-, but she's a very gentle soul once you get past the menacing aura and genuine attempt to scare you.
Ace: Wait... Mary? Hilda? Nifty?
Yuu: Um... The Queen of Hearts has- had a name. Mary. Mary Elizabeth Heart. Pretty certain the Rosehearts are actually related to them.
Riddle: Directly, albeit distantly. We're unable to inherit the throne unless there's a severe accident in the royal family and they all end up dead. Even then, the Rosehearts are more known for other things.
Ace: Wait, you're actually royalty?!
Riddle: You... were raised in the Queendom of Roses, yes? The lineage of the reigning Royal Family is taught to all children in their first year of middle school.
Ace: ... Mighta flunked it. Whoops?
Riddle: You little--!
Yuu: --Hilda would be Queen Grimhilde! The Fairest Queen? I had trouble pronouncing her name when I was little. She let me call her that since I was so young, but then it just... sort of stuck.
Deuce: And Nifty? It's a pretty interesting name for someone.
Ace: Wait... Only one person hasn't been mentioned yet... You don't mean...?!
Yuu: Yep! Lady Maleficent. My Nifty.
Sebek: There's no way someone like Lady Maleficent would have let you call her such a name!
Lilia: I do seem to recall that she once spoke fondly of a set of precocious siblings who helped greatly during the Great War... One a mysterious knight with sword magic not from this world, and their younger sibling who with an equally mysterious power that was... left out of the history books.
Yuu: Yep, that was me and Yan. I couldn't figure out the difference between Maleficent and Magnificent, and I remember somewhere my brother once told me that the word nifty was once used as a replacement for the word magnificent. So, since I couldn't say either longer name, I went with the shorter one. It, also, stuck.
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Courtship (4): The Gargoyle Graveyard
Fandom: Twisted Wonderland (Malleus x GN!reader)
Author note: Again, thank you all for being patient with me and I apologize for having a very inconsistent writing schedule. I'm going to make it my goal to update on a bi weekly basis instead of leaving you all in silent limbo. Also a reminder I suck at figuring out which warnings to put so if there's something that needs to be forewarned that I failed to disclose please lmk!
Warnings: Mentions of heavy bodily injuries | childhood trauma/neglect | discussions/mentions of discrimination | mentions of virginity/sexual history
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AO3 version
Clay. Stone. Porcelain. Plaster. Metal. There are even gargoyles carved entirely of wood! Some statues are stand-alone works of art while others are part of a clear collection or series of similar inspiration. They even come in all sorts of shapes and sizes; as small as an apple or a towering height to rival Malleus himself. No matter what, each grotesque has been crafted with the utmost consideration, by well seasoned and knowing hands. Even the ones that have clear defects and cannot serve their intended purpose are free of overabundant ivy, weeds, or dust. There’s a clear degree of love and care the family who makes these statues has for their craft that makes him feel less alone in his interest in an uncherished form of art.
“It should be around here somewhere,” you muse aloud. Ever since he expressed interest in seeing more sculptures made with non-traditional materials, you’ve been keeping your eye out for a particular one that would fulfill his yearning. You eventually find it and eagerly point to it. “There it is!”
Malleus watches as you approach a massive-sized statue covered with a thick and half-wet tarp. He helps you remove the cover, revealing a winged and slightly humanoid canine. There are many more grotesques with a similar design, but what makes this one stand out the most is the material it’s made out of.
“Amazing!” Malleus awes. “I’ve never seen a grotesque of this size made entirely of glass! They’ve even managed to maintain their attention to detail despite such an abnormal material choice.”
“You can even see the inner channel where the water would flow in and redirect out of its mouth,” you notice.
“They even went out of their way to make it functional despite it being unfit for actual installation?” Malleus inquires with disbelief. “Such a shame.”
“If you’re looking to buy anything here, I’m afraid it's a lost cause. One of the first warnings the grandfather gave me is that none of these are for sale.”
“What was his second warning?”
“If we damage anything, even as small as a scratch, he’ll kill us.”
“How charming,” he chuckles. “I cannot blame him. These statues must take weeks to complete. Time is a human’s greatest enemy.”
“For some, sure. But when I went to visit the family and talked to the old man, he was lunging around all this heavy equipment like he was still in his prime,” you recall. “He lives for his craft. If there’s anything humans are at risk of their entire lives, it’s a lack of motivation and reason to live.”
“I suppose that’s true, but the lifespan of humans and the inevitable effects of aging is difficult to live with, especially once it begins to hinder one’s ability to do what one could previously do without issue. ”
“You’re not wrong,” you acknowledge. “But I think I’d rather live a short life with fulfillment than a dull, long-as-shit life.”
To show that he’s entirely on your side, Gunter lets out a guttural bark while his tail rapidly wags and thumps the damp ground, coating the ends of his bushy tail in specs of dirt and dirtied, remnant snow of the north that has managed to stay frozen on the isles warmer south end.
“You’re only agreeing with them because you’ve been promised food,” Malleus chastises. “Don’t think I didn’t pick up on your grumbling stomach.”
“And don't think I didn't pick up on your stomach rumbling either your highness," you quip back at him. "The family has a small cottage nearby we can use. We'll settle down for a bit and eat before sightseeing some more."
Before you turn and walk in the direction towards the aforementioned lodgings, you reach your hand out for Malleus to take and he latches onto you with restrained enthusiasm. He's taller than you, but he takes care not to take his normal strides as to not leave you struggling to keep up with him. Gunter doesn't know the way, so he trots beside you every step of the way up until the destination is in plain view. The cottage is small but well-attended. There’s a rustic flair to its construction that makes it feel familiar and safe despite never stepping foot in it before.
"Those gargoyles were something, huh?" you remark to him while you tap and shake off the gunk wedged into the soles of your heavy boots against the frame of the door.
"Indeed," he nods, taking your cloak off for you and hanging it on the wooden rack nearby. "I don't think I've ever seen that many gargoyles in one day. Just when my eyes land upon an intriguing one, there's several more that catch my attention."
The way he gets all wide-eyed is outright adorable. It makes you grin just as enthusiastically too. "I bet your club is going to have a field day once you tell them about this!"
His child-like smile turns into one of disappointment. "I'm certain they would, if I wasn't the sole member that is."
Your hands halt from pulling out and setting down all the premade food out of your pack. "Seriously? You're the only one?"
When he nods his head, you feel a twinge of hurt in your heart. Poor guy. You can only imagine how disappointing it must be to go through all those lengths to start a club (you would know since you're technically a staff member of the school and have been given a rundown on some of the school's functions and regulations) only for no one to show interest. Of course, you completely understand that gargoyles aren't exactly all the rage within the minds of teenage boys. Still! He goes through so much effort to build relationships with his peers but they always cower away, either due to his status or even because of the way he looks. You won’t deny that he does come off as rather intimidating at first glance, but he's a sweet guy once you give him the chance to speak.
But to expect teenagers going through social pressures and demanding academics to be as understanding and willing to understand someone like Malleus is an impossible demand. Given that everyone in the school can be a bunch of self-centered and easily agitated bunch of pricks, it's understandable that most of the student body isn't keen on trying to take into consideration the proper etiquette one needs to consider in the presence of a young and noble fae. Deuce has met and talked briefly with Malleus on one occasion, but even he visibly shakes whenever his name is mentioned, even in casual passing.
Wait until they found out who you've gone and gotten buddy-buddy with behind their back. They probably think they're slick or that their intentions are well swept under the rug, but it's clear they feel some semblance of responsibility for your well-being, as both a magicless individual as well as a close, albeit older, friend. You dread the day people begin to make the connections between Malleus and you, but you still can’t help but wonder what their reactions might be. You also dread the high probability those two idiots are going to find out and embarrass the living hell out of you, which you know you do not have the patience or tolerance for.
Gunter jumps up and sits himself down in one of the wooden dining chairs, pushing the small ceramic plate towards you with his nose, as if telling you "Alright, I’ve done what I said I'd do, now feed me what I'm owed." You tell him that you'll give him what he's well earned after you get a small fire started in the brick fireplace. Just because it's warmer near the southern half of the island and not as heavily blanketed with snow, doesn't mean the cold has completely vanished, Winter is still winter after all.
"Where did these scars come from?"
Malleus' unexpected question and closeness nearly make you drop the iron rod you've been using to stoke the growing fire. You've since taken off your boots and rolled up the bottoms of your pants just above your knee as the room starts to warm up enough for a thin layer of perspiration to accumulate and roll down your skin. The scars he's referring to are the ones on your right leg, both side by side at an awkward angle and discolored. You have a lot more scars than these, some much more gruesome in appearance than these two. Malleus has never asked about your scars, but sometimes you catch him looking in the general area of some that peak through your clothes. He likely keeps quiet about their existence out of courtesy.
Yet out of all the markings on your body, why did these two stand out enough that he'd finally ask about them?
"It's a long story," you say in an effort to stall the topic. "Sit. I'll feed you two once the fire is stable."
He doesn’t push you for an answer, instead simply doing as you say and lets you poke at the burning logs until they're properly aflame on their own. You made mostly some of your morning favorites; Creamy and thick potato stew with diced carrots and peas and some eggs, ham, and crispy hash browns sandwich between homemade halved croissants. You teased him about having picky taste buds earlier, but Malleus is content to eat anything you serve him so long as it is not comparable to the likes of Lilia's atrocious cooking.
(Seriously, how does a man as old as Lilia not know the basic fundamentals of cooking? And why does everything he makes end up burnt and tasting like something rotten? You will never understand.)
"Don't eat too quickly," you warn Gunter as you pour a bit of light-colored soup onto his designated plate. Your words are ignored, as the equally marred wolf sloppily slurps and munches on the few bits of potatoes and vegetables you generously scraped out of the thermos. His food is gone as quickly as it’s put in front of him and he looks at you expecting more.
"No. The rest is mine," you scold. "And don't beg Malleus for some either! I know you do it behind my back, you little shit!"
He turns to look at Malleus with an accusatory glare, thinking that he ratted him out to you. Malleus’s response towards the silent imputation is to turn and look out the window as if something caught his interest all of a sudden, cup raised to his lips as he politely sips away at his meal without an air of calmness. You have to slap a hand over your mouth to hide the amusement that overtakes your senses.
"Malleus, stop that!"
"Stop what?" he innocently asks.
"Stop making me want to laugh!"
He sets his cup down onto its matching serving dish. "It's not my fault you have an easily satiable sense of humor."
"Wow!" you say incredulously and put your arms up in offense. "And here I was thinking we were friends!"
His distant demeanor breaks and you both devolve into a fit of laughter together. Gunter unfortunately takes advantage of your joint distraction and slips away with a warm sandwich between his jaw, your sandwich in particular.
"That damn wolf!" you curse. "I knew I should have trusted my gut and pack extras.”
Malleus pities your distress before moving over to sit closer. "Worry not. I'll split mine in half with you,” he reassures.
"No, it's fine," you immediately dismiss his offer. "Have it for yourself."
"I'm not taking no for an answer," he firmly states. “Don’t be stubborn. It’s far too early for that.”
"I thought you liked it when I was stubborn?” you pout.
He shakes his head with a smile. “I would be lying if I said I didn’t”
"At least someone likes my attitude,” you say after chewing and swallowing a mouthful of soup. “Sebek certainly doesn’t."
"The boy is stubborn as well. When two equally stubborn individuals cross paths, you will witness nothing but discord between the two."
"Add the fact I'm human into the mix, and we'll be exchanging fists instead of words sooner or later," you scoff. "I get that some faes don't like humans, but what's his deal with acting like he’s got a vendetta against me?"
"Sebek doesn't hate humans for the reasons you might think," Malleus admits. "It’s more like he finds them difficult to think that highly of. Did you know that he is half-human?"
You nearly choke on your own breath over the sudden revelation. "Really?"
"Indeed," Malleus finds amusement at your disbelief. "Have you ever wondered why his ears aren't pointed like Silver, but his eyes are like mine and Lilia’s?"
"Damn,” you scratch the back of your head with embarrassment. “Now I feel stupid.”
"You aren't. Given the way he speaks, not many would assume he had human blood in his veins. His mother was highly regarded within her social circle, but her marriage to a human man tarnished her reputation a great deal. She's happy and does not seem to care what others think of her these days. However, when Sebek set out to be a knight, his mother's marriage and his lineage were often brought up as a way to scrutinize his character and capabilities rather than any of his actual shortcomings as an individual."
"Poor kid," you sigh. "Lilia told me those sorts of things still happen in The Valley, but it sounds so outlandish that I couldn’t take it that seriously."
"Many faes hold old traditions above all else, to a degree that the purity of one's blood stands above all other merits." His eyebrows pressed together in annoyance. "Even my grandmother thinks it's archaic, but as the reigning queen she has to embody a persona of neutrality between the social divide."
"It sounds like you have your work cut out for you in the future," you say, almost apologetically. "What do you plan to do about it once you're the king?"
There's a brief flash of surprise over your question, but Malleus easily answers it as usual. "I think my first course of action as king would be to properly knight Sebek and Silver."
"Bet my rifle that Sebek is going to cry the entire ceremony!" you remark with certainty. "That's all he ever goes on about, being a knight and all."
"He's devoted countless hours and efforts since he was a child. If there's anyone who deserves to join the knighthood, it's him."
"Definitely," you nod to further cement your agreement with him. "He could stand to lower his voice a bit. He'll give you tinnitus before long.”
"At least we won't have to worry about losing him in a crowd," Malleus jests.
"That's to say we'll lose sight of him to begin with," you remark. "He'll gladly lose me in a crowd. You? You'd be lucky to get out of arm's length."
"You underestimate me, dearest," Malleus smirks. "Ever since I've met you, I've perfected the art of avoiding Sebek's insistent searches."
"Have you now?" you razz back. "Don't let him catch onto the fact. He'll have my head."
He reaches over and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. Each second his skin touches yours makes you tingle. Time slows down ever so briefly if only to savor the small instance of physical connection for as long as possible. "What of your aunts?" he inquires. "Are they as overprotective of you as Sebek is of myself?"
"They’re a trio of mama bears," you proudly admit. "I'm old enough to drink and well equipped to fend for myself, but in their minds, I'll always be the little tyke that couldn't even eat their meals without looking at them for approval. Especially my aunt Gia."
You have three aunts. There's your aunt Marisol, the mother of most of your cousins and the main caretaker of the household. Your second aunt Lucia was well into her studies at university when you came to live with them, but her stress and long hours of mulling over her course materials paid off in the long run. Your gardening skills wouldn't be what they are now without her expertise in agricultural botany.
Then there's your aunt Gia. Oldest of the three. An absolute tank of a woman. No spouse. No kids of her own. She lived off the land like an absolute titan. The woman raised you as if she was the one that carried you for nine months and not your actual birth mother.
How would you describe your parents? If your parents were told to list out their priorities in life, their careers would be at the top of the list and you would be put at the very bottom. Why they carried you to term is beyond your understanding. You later learned that Gia had even offered to take you under her care well before your birth, knowing that your parents might not be well-suited to take care of you in the way she thinks would be beneficial for you. It was a convenient offer that would have saved everyone the trouble years down the line when you had your accident. They worked in a cutthroat industry and were constantly moving up the executive echelons. They had no time for you, yet their pride as a pair of young, successful business magnates made them incapable of seeing past the reality of the situation. That left you mostly in the care of last-minute caretakers and your aunts, but only if they had time from their own busy and preoccupied lives to come out into the city and visit.
You were eight years old when things started to get better, but it was upstarted in the worst possible way. Your parents had to go away for the upcoming weekend for work and left you in the care of a babysitter as per the norm. The babysitter never showed up however and your parents apparently couldn’t be bothered to check up on you even once the entire trip. Their silence wasn’t surprising. You just went on about your business for the next three days on your own like nothing was wrong. Your aunt Gia had even called at one point to check up on you, but you didn’t bother to tell her that your parents had left you to fend for yourself. She would have exploded if you did, but not as much as she did when you woke up in the hospital after falling down the stairs and lying helplessly on the ground for several hours with a dislocated shoulder and a compound-fractured leg. You were lulling in and out of consciousness due to all the medication pumped into you, but what little you do remember seeing and hearing when you regained consciousness will forever stick with you for the rest of your life.
If people think your level of swearing is bad, they should have heard your aunt that day. She swore so viciously that it could set an innocent bystander's eardrums on fire. What will forever stand out the most to you was the fact that your parents didn’t even look the least bit apologetic or regretful. They didn’t even approach you once your aunt was done giving them a piece of her mind to check up on you. They simply talked with the awaiting social worker and doctors and then left. It was for the better, but the small part of you that continued to hold onto the desperate belief that your parents would come around one day sent you into a thrashing frenzy and you had to be sedated before you could hurt yourself anymore.
The next year was spent recovering from your injuries, meeting regularly with your caseworker, and going through therapists like a pack of cigarettes. By the time you were back on your feet and the legal proceedings of your custody case were concluded, all you wanted was to move on with it all. Nearly a decade of neglect left you this unattentive, uncertain husk of a person who couldn’t take a single step forward without looking for some sort of guidance or assurance. Your family was exhausted by the entire ordeal and over speaking with third parties. Your aunts took it upon themselves to help you regain your sense of self in the comfort of your new home, no matter how difficult or demanding it was going to be.
“It took some time, but eventually it clicked in my mind that I was in a better place and I started to get better. As for my parents, I have no clue what they’re up to these days.” You lean back into your chair and let out a shaking yawn. “I like to think they’re getting on well like I am.”
“I don’t understand.” Malleus looks at you with unbelievable confusion. “Your parents treated you poorly, yet you don’t sound the least bit resentful. Why is that?”
You shrug your shoulders. “What’s the point? I'm in a better place now, so I've let bygones be bygones. 'Doesn't mean I don't harbor any anger against them anymore. I do, but getting upset won't change what's happened to me."
Gunter, having sensed your discomfort over the matter, trots over and rests his head on your lap. You gratefully rub the top of his head, carding your hands through his thick, coarse hair. "I'm just glad they let me go without a fuss. Family court was hell for my family.” Your eyebrows knit together. “Expensive too.”
Crackling wood fills the momentary silence that befalls the small cottage. What you've recollected to Malleus is a lot to take in, and if you're being quite honest you'd prefer if he just dropped the subject and talked about literally anything else right now. You hope he doesn't say he's sorry or any other type of apologetic comment. That's all you were ever told that entire year it all happened, during court proceedings, your rehabilitation, by both strangers and distant family members alike.
"I'm so sorry. What happened to you was unfortunate. You didn't deserve it."
No shit you didn't deserve any of that. You were a kid. You don’t need one pity party after another to realize that what took place then had fucked you forever. But as you said earlier, you're in a better place now, with a loving and supportive family that's moved on alongside you. A family you need to get back to as soon as possible.
"I love you."
Well, if he was hoping to take your mind off the past. that certainly did it. How can it not? It came out of nowhere and as good as you are at holding your composure when need be, you're sure you look no less like a gaping fish when warm and plush softness presses right against the corner of your lips. A kiss. His kiss.
"What's wrong?" Your voice sounds shaky. You’re nervous.
"Nothing," he smiles reassuringly. "I simply said what I felt needed to be said."
"Fair enough" you concede easily. He was going to say it sooner or later. He already has actually, now that you think about it. Yet here you are trying to process his words like it’s rocket science.
"Am I going about this too fast perhaps?" he genuinely asks. His hands that have been busy massaging your calves that have settled across his lap somewhere during your long retelling gradually slow down, but his hands never go completely still. "This is my first time experiencing something like this."
"What?" You sit up a bit straighter. "A relationship?"
"Yes."
Your head tilts to the side. "Really?"
He nods hesitantly "Yes?"
For a moment, you go completely quiet. "I don't believe you,” you doubtfully say, head shaking to further showcase your refusal to believe him.
He must not have liked your remark, frowning with clear offense in his eyes. When he dislikes something, the vertical slits in his eyes contract into a thin line. "I cannot lie, yet you still doubt me?"
"I know you can't lie, but I find it hard to believe you haven't been with anyone else before," you explain. Before you can consider the appropriateness that was your newfound curiosity about Malleus's apparently non-existent love life, you blurt out, "Are you still a virgin?"
You slap your hand over your mouth the moment those words come out of it. He's equally caught off guard and nearly drops his warm cup of coffee. Even Gunter is surprised by your question, olive-colored eyes looking at you as if you've lost your mind. It's an invasive question, inappropriate even. You and Malleus have been dating for a little over two days. A question like that is way too early to bring up just yet.
"You don't have to answer that," you tell him behind your palm. "I shouldn't have even asked it. Forget I ever brought it up-”
"I'm not," he interrupts you, leaving you even more shocked than you already are. You’re practically gaping like a fish by now. "I'm not a virgin,” he further insinuates.
A deafening silence, but it’s eventually broken by yourself. “I still don’t believe you.”
Malleus gets further annoyed at your refusal to accept his truth. "I'm not lying!" he insists.
"Bullshit!"
"Do you want me to recount my history to you?" he asks, exasperated as you are at the shift the conversation is taking. "Will that satisfy your doubts?"
"You know what? It will!" you loudly declare. "Who'd you sleep with?"
"He was a young page at the time,” he reminisced. “It happened before I was a century old.”
Your eyebrows raise with intrigue. "Was he cute?"
"Yes," he hushedly agrees. The disconcerting admittance paints his face a pinkish-red glow. "But that's not why I bedded him."
"But surely his looks are what made you interested in the first place?” you make blatant regard of the fact.
“You’re not wrong,” he acknowledges, expertly avoiding agreeing with you outright. “But his looks aren't the sole reason I was drawn to him. He was bright-eyed and ambitious, to the point you’d think him insane given his position in the court. It was also the first time I ever truly met with a group of humans, and my young mind was eager to get a more accurate perspective of humans that wasn’t through the lens of my tutors.”
“An ‘accurate perspective’?” You make playful air quotes, eyebrows wiggling because you know the fact that he knows what you’re implying. The playful comment is met with a sharp pinch on your leg that makes you jump and shriek out in pain. Did he have to dig his nails into you? Apparently so, and now you have small crescent indents on your skin. “I bet Lilia had a good laugh when he found out.”
“He doesn’t know, actually,” he admits to you with what is obviously a proud smile.
“Now I know you’re lying to me,” you scoff. “Nothing escapes the old man’s radar.”
His hands begin to rub out the marks he’s left on you as a form of apology. “Lilia is sharp, but he had lost most of his vigor by the time I was born.”
You go wide-eyed again. “You mean his hearing and eyesight was better than it is now?”
He nods affirmatively. “From what I’ve been told, terrifyingly so.”
Lilia is already frightening as is. His short stature and boyish looks make him perfectly unassuming to those who don’t know any better. You once watched him beat up a couple of bulky, twice-his-height students from Savanaclaw without breaking a sweat, yet moments before he was jokingly scolding himself for dozing off so easily. You never once thought he was ever out of his elements. A cold chill runs down your spine thinking how much more perceptive the older fae may have been back during his prime years.
“Wonder what Lilia’s gonna think,” you ponder out loud in a quick effort to banish out the skin-prickling mental imagery your mind was invoking. “About us, I mean.”
Malleus seems surprised that you would change the topic to that of all things, but his initial shock goes away as quickly as it came. “As you may have guessed, he’s an open-minded individual, but he’s also very realistic and unafraid to say what’s on his mind.”
“So what does that mean for you and me?” you question with a bit of hesitation.
“Well,” he trails off and ponders for a moment. “He’ll surely like the scandal our relationship would invoke. However, as my caretaker and mentor, he won’t hesitate to put an end to it if he feels it necessary.”
Had it been anyone else sitting beside you, you’d have found that comment way too extreme and outright ridiculous. However, you are not speaking to anyone ordinary. You are not sitting before someone normal. It doesn't matter how well you get along with him. It sure as hell doesn't matter how deeply in love you are with him, and him of you. The moment you have been deemed a shortcoming, the outings, the closeness, it all stops. All of it will come crashing down and both you and him will be left wondering what could have been done differently.
Malleus is truly your best friend, because already he can tell that your mind is beginning to spiral even when you go quiet. He calls for your attention by gripping his hand around your bare ankle and carefully tugging the end of your limb. “Don’t fret over it too much,” he soothes, yet also sounding like he’s scolding you for letting your mind wander off so negatively. “Lilia is an exceptional judge of character. From what I’ve gathered, you’ve well exceeded all his marks. He trusts you, and to gain such a thing from someone as old and wise as him is an extraordinary feat.”
You brew over the attempted compliment he tried to pay to you. Unfortunately, it doesn’t snub out all these festering thoughts in your head. It doesn’t even give you temporary relief. Perhaps it would have brought you a sense of peace a few months ago, but with everything that has happened thus far, you doubt even Malleus can alleviate the storm that rattles inside you, even if what he speaks is without a doubt nothing but the truth.
Surely he can see that you are still having some hangups. When you lift his hand and plant a chaste kiss on the back of his hand, you hope he can decipher the gesture as a pitiful request for his forgiveness for dampening the once energetic mood. He is not at fault for your loss and inability to think optimistically at the moment and you need to make sure he knows it.
Today is about him, not you. Even if it’s just for today, you’ll put on a pleasant facade and worry about the rest at a later date. It’s just you and him, and for now, that’s enough.
You do a mental countdown starting from three, before finally giving him a late response to the three words he uttered in confidence to you earlier. “I love you too, by the way.”
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You love him. You love him. You love him. That’s all his mind can think of for the rest of the day. He replays your reciprocation over and over like it’s sacred and all-powerful.
He had planned to return to his dorm before the sun began to set, but he found the mere idea of detaching from you deeply unwanted and made the last-minute decision to spend the evening at the Ramshackle dorm. He already has a few articles of clothing and personal essentials set up in one of the many empty rooms, so neither Lilia nor you had any objections at his sudden request.
“Don’t worry!” You shout across the room so that Lilia can hear you over his phone. “I’ll make sure he gets to bed on time!”
“You have my gratitude!” Lilia’s muffled voice responds gratefully. “Don’t cause too much trouble now, you two.”
“No promises~” you sing in jest before Malleus hangs up. Once the call ends Johnny, Benji, Franky, and you turn their attention back to their ongoing game of poker. Malleus watches and occasionally laughs to himself over the friendly banter shared between the quartet. At the end of every round, the winner is assaulted with colorful profanities whilst they take their newly won gambling chips with ebullience. Yet with each new dealing of cards, the animosity goes away and they’re all back to being friendly. He finds your interactions with your incorporeal roommates more entertaining than the book he’s been reading to pass the time.
“Hey, fairy boy,” Franky informally calls out toward him. “Don’t be a stranger now. Play a few rounds with us.”
“I’m afraid I’m not well versed in card games,” he admits, yet he still finds himself setting his literature aside and moving over to join them.
“Don’t worry,” you give him a reassuring smile. “They’ll go easy on you.”
“For how long?” he knowingly asks.
You give him an impressed smirk at his quick uptake. “I give it three rounds before they start to pull back their sleeves.”
Malleus is well-adjusted to the need to quickly learn a new topic and the expectation for him to fully comprehend it in full. None of them are harsh on him for his minor mistakes like some of the tutors he’s had in the past. Answers that he believes may be obvious or not as complicated as he thinks they are being answered with enthusiastic patience. The smallest achievements he makes are met with a proud response. When he makes a surprise turnabout and wins his first game, he’s rewarded with an encouraging round of applause by everyone.
“Not bad,” Benji praises as he shuffles the deck of cards. “You’re a fast learner.”
“So I’ve been told,” he humbly replies. “Is this the part where you all stop going easy on me now?”
“Don’t provoke them,” you half-heartedly warn. “Otherwise we’ll be up all night duking it out otherwise.”
Franky sets his glass of iced liquor down on the edge of the table. “Don’t you little lovebirds worry. We won’t take up too much of your well-needed time together.”
Annoyed at the clear jab at his relationship with you, you throw one of your chips towards his head. It passes through his body and clatters on the floor behind him. Your fawn Blossom jumps down from their spot on the couch and goes to sniff it, thinking it to be food, but walks away with a disappointed strut when he realizes it isn’t anything edible.
“I didn’t tell them a damn thing,” you defensively clarify. “It was so obvious what was going on between us that they figured it all out before we made it official.”
He lets out a deep breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “That’s...I can’t say I’m too pleased to hear about that.”
“We won’t say anything,” Franky reassures. “Just make sure to put a sock on the door whenever you guys want some alone time.”
“Franky!” you hiss at him. “What the hell?!”
“What?” he looks at you, unbothered by your clear embarrassment. “Do you honestly expect us to think you guys went out just to look at a bunch of statues?”
“Oh, I’m sure they were looking at something,” Johnny smirks. “It wasn’t made of stone though.”
“I hate you guys,” you growl out, arms crossing and leaning back into your seat with an angry huff. You don’t mean it. He can see the tremble of your lips as you try to contain the urge to grin. “Even if we did end up rolling around in the sheets, I wouldn’t be yapping about it for all to hear, much less you guys!”
“What happens in the gargoyle graveyard stays in the gargoyle graveyard, eh?” Franky winks at both Malleus and you, nudging you with his elbow.
“Exactly!” you affirm, batting the large ghost away from you for some much-needed distance. “Now stop being so damn nosy.”
They cackle one last time and everyone seamlessly goes back to their ongoing game. Conversations like the one that just concluded are commonplace in your dormitory. Even if he contributed next to nothing to the discussion, he enjoys watching them interact. You come from a world where ghosts are hardly as overt as the ones in this world. Ghosts are said to entertain themselves by picking on the living, to the point that it can be fatal. Your ability to come up with witticisms at a moment's notice is something he enjoys seeing in action. He feels great satisfaction not only knowing that he has secured your love but to also see you in a state of tranquility and within your elements.
As Benji and you have a hushed conversation on the sidelines, he reaches over and places his hand on your knee beneath the table. You quietly reach over and put your hand over his, stroking the back of his hand with your thumb like it’s instinctual. Unfortunately, the heart-fluttering moment is ruined by the sudden buzzing of his phone. He has half a mind to ignore it, but when he gives the screen a glance he realizes ignoring the caller is not an option.
“I’ll be out for a moment,” he excuses himself once he sets his hand down and stands himself upright. “This shouldn’t take that long, hopefully.”
They all stop to look up at him inquisitively for half a second. In unison, they ask, “Sebek?”
“Sebek,” he affirms.
There are simultaneous displays of annoyance, pity, and silent wishes of good luck directed at him. He’s tempted to ask where all this contempt for the boy comes from, but then he remembers the many times Sebek barges his way into their dorm at the worst possible moments. It is either when everyone is beginning to settle down after a long day or in the middle of an important house project, the former more so than the latter now that the dorm is much more stable and in need of less restoration. Malleus learned the hard way how ill you and the ghosts will react when your peace is unwantedly interrupted and your space invaded by an unwanted guest.
Sebek is also quick to scrutinize whatever he sees out loud without a filter. You never seem to mind half of the time, merely rolling your eyes and moving past Sebek’s ill-meaning remarks as if you never heard them. As you are someone Malleus highly regards and holds close to his bosom, he hopes Sebek can one day set aside his strife with humankind and give you the due diligence you deserve.
...Though, he completely understands that reaching that point will take time. While you can endure Sebek to a certain degree, there are times where he, unfortunately, pushes you past that threshold and, without flinching, you will tell him to “Shut the fuck up”. Your words, not his.
“Young master!” Sebek's transmitted voice peaks and he has to half pull it away to give his pained eardrums some relief. “I was informed by Lord Lilia that you will be spending the night over at the Human’s dorm. Have you all your accommodations at their estate? If not, I will swiftly-”
“That won’t be necessary,” he half laughs at his enthusiasm over such a small task. “I have enough to keep me comfortable and well for a few days. Your offer is still very much appreciated.”
“Y-Yes, of course,” he stutters. “If there’s anything you should ever find a need for, please inform me at once! I will fulfill your every wishes no matter the hour!”
He’s enthusiastic and ready to act at a moment’s notice, even during the middle of a cold and dark hour. Malleus doesn’t necessarily dislike this part of Sebek, but he’s starting to understand why someone like you would find such subservience difficult to deal with. At any moment, Malleus could ask Sebek to grab some insignificant item of his and tread through the thick snow to deliver it to him, and the boy would do so with jubilation and utmost timeliness. You on the other hand wouldn’t be caught dead ordering someone to do something on your behalf when you believe you are well and capable of doing it yourself.
You don’t put expectations onto the backs of others, choosing to trust yourself first before anyone else. He knows now that it’s a result of the one instance where you expected something from someone, only to be thoroughly let down and left wondering if it was you who did something wrong.
Malleus cannot make up for the pain you’ve been subjected to, but he hopes that he can become the outlier in your life that surpasses any preconceived notions you may hold onto others. He hopes...No, he absolutely will be the one who brings you your well-earned and deserved joy and repose, just as you have done for him and continue to do so.
You love him, and he will ensure he is worthy of every last drop of your fidelity.
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wonderland-in-bloom · 4 years
Text
an unexpected day off
[leona kingscholar x fem!pomefiore!reader]
anon asked: Yay requestss are open! May I request a oneshot where Leonas fem Pomfiore s/o's little sister comes to Night Raven to visit her and meets Cheka who is also visiting Leona and they become friends and all that cute stuff ( bonus Leona and readers reaction )
yes!! cute indeed uwu hi guys how are you all, are you dying over silver and lilia’s cards as much as i am? heheh 
le fic under the cut
TODAY was going to be a chill day filled with activies which could be tied to lazing around. well at least that’s what both you and your boyfriend thought. but the both of you were wrong. horribly wrong. that morning leona was woken up by cheka literally jumping on top of him. while on the other hand, you were having a beautiful dream until the door to your room slammed against the wall after it swung open. “(Y/N)-NEEEEEEEEE!!! WAKE UP! I’M SPENDING THE WHOLE DAY WITH YOU TODAY!” in your half awoken state, you were still able to recognize that high pitched voice. it was your younger sister. 
“what the hell are you doing here?” you groaned as you buried your head in your pillow. “mom and dad want me here! besides i want to see how miserable you are.” you growled and threw a pillow at her. you two argued and fought so loud that vil came storming into your room with his face still full of cucumbers and a face mask and scolded both you and your younger sister. you really did just want to have one day off without anything crazy or chaotic happening, but hey, when is life ever calm? you sighed as your little sister dragged you around the whole campus. some students gave you glares and in return you gave them back glares which signaled “please help me i beg you”. they legitimately just laughed at you. after all, it was only entertainment for them. in the middle of the way as you trailed behind your sister in the courtyard, she suddenly stopped. 
your eyes sparkled when you saw your boyfriend walking towards you from the other end. “leona!!!” you cheered as you rushed over to him. you saw a glint in his eyes as he was happy to see you too. you wrapped your arms around his torso and he placed his hand on your waist. “please help me....” you whispered. “yeah i could say the same.” you both turned around to face the children you were forced to babysit. they both froze as they eyed each other up and down. “oho? what do we have here?” cheka stepped closer to your little sister and eyed her even more intensely. “who are you?” cheka asked. 
“i could ask you the same! i didn’t know kids were allowed here.” she shot back. “i’m cheka kingscholar...ojitan...leona’s nephew. and you?” you and leona saw the two bashful kids. “i’m (l/s/n). (y/n)’s litle sister.” it was a little awkward for a while. you were debating with yourself wether to break it up or do something at least. however as you were about to step closer to them, leona grabbed your hand. “wait, (y/n). this might be a really good chance. if the both of them gets along, then they’ll just wander off on their own. less work for us, ya know?” you bit your bottom lip. a negative multiplied by a negative equals a positive. which means that both their chaotic-ness and irresponsibility would cancel each other out and you and leona would have no trouble. you two would have a day filled with relaxing and lazing around just as you both thought. “hmm, you’re right.” you smirked. you and leona chuckled evilly as the two kids started a conversation. 
you and leona didn’t even pay attention to them for five seconds and they were already running off to go play somewhere else. leona smirked as you both turned around, planning to head over to his room and just continue your beauty sleep which was cut short. leona slung his arm over your shoulder as you snuggled close against him and started walking to the savanaclaw dorms. however not long after, you heard a surprisingly high pitched yet familiar screaming coming from somewhere not too far from you. you and leona briskly made your way to the source of the scream to see...idia in a tree? “idia...senpai?” his eyes were wide filled with terror and fear. “(Y-Y/N)! L-LEONA! PLEASE HELP ME!” he pleaded. you two looked down to two very familiar figures right below the branch idia was gripping to dear life on. “YOUR HAIR IS SO COOL! WE JUST WANNA PLAY!” your little sister chirped. “PLEASEEE COME DOWN.” cheka joined her. 
leona growled and grabbed cheka by the collar. “oi, what are you doing?” cheka pouted. “we were just curious!” he replied. “we just wanted to play with him...it’s not our fault he’s a scaredy cat.” your little sister joined. you smacked the back of her head. “that’s not nice. we’re so sorry idia-senpai. you can go now.” he slowly climbed from the branch and down to the ground and started running off. “heeeh, what a weird guy.” your little sister commented. “well you two were basically invading his boundaries. so.” she rolled her eyes. “sheesh (y/n)-nee, can’t you just let us have a little fun? come on cheka! we have more places to go to!” she giggled and the two kids started running off. remember when you thought that the chaotic-ness would cancel each other out? yeah. wrong. instead it multiplied and now they get into more trouble as a duo than you both thought. 
and thus your day off from school was filled with running around, trying to catch the two kids, and apologizing to the other dorm leaders and students. to keep things short and simple, there were a lot of things those two did which disturbed the other students. first, they managed to leave the hedgehogs riddle used in his game of croquet to almost die because of shock and fear. this left riddle in a frenzy and it took the adeuce duo and cater to calm him down while trey urged the two kids to run off. but he didn’t even hesitate giving you and leona a little lecture. second, they sneaked into savanaclaw’s daily magift training sessions and held onto a couple of senior’s brooms. they almost fell a couple of feet from the air and had to be caught by jack and ruggie. ruggie (wholeheartedly) told leona off and when you wanted to catch the two troublemakers, they were already gone. third, they managed to infiltrate the mostro lounge and begged jade and floyd for piggyback rides. it went well at first but let’s just say the lounge didn’t look so good after the whole session ended. azul ended up threatening leona with blackmail and scolded the both of you for doing that to his precious lounge. (of course he threatened to sue leona but he just brushed him off. after all, leona was a rich boy so he didn’t really mind. lol)
fourth, they played hide and seek with kalim in his treasure room. for once, this was the one instance where the dorm leader wasn’t mad or troubled, but rather joined them in the fun. in the end, jamil had to drag kalim by the collar and scold him instead of you and leona. they continued their game without kalim and this time it was hide and seek with you and leona. of course you didn’t find them anywhere in scarabia and concluded that they headed off to pomefiore. rook was in a panic because the peacocks from the gardens escaped and started to cause havoc, making the garden a mess. epel was chasing the two children (as ordered by vil) but they just laughed and thought it was a game of tag. your dorm leader didn’t hesitate to blabber a handful of comments which made your ears ring and he also didn’t hesitate to slap the back of leona’s head. “irresponsible. just like their relatives.” he mentioned, hinting at the fact that like nephew/little sister like uncle/older sister. finally, cheka and your little sister stepped foot into diasomnia but regretted it the instant they stepped in. 
they were greeted with sebek and silver who scared them off and made them not even dare to do anything which involves diasomnia. lilia tried to be nice to them and tried to calm the down as best he can (he is a father after all ha ha) but he managed to make them cry. at the end of your tiring and NOT AT ALL peaceful day, you found the two snuggled next to each other under a tree. they were both fast asleep. you and leona sighed in relief. you exchanged glances with each other before collapsing yourselves. “finally~” the storm has passed and you two could finally calm down. you both leaned against the tree and sat down with a ‘thump’. with aching feet and ears just having enough of lectures and rambles, both your eyes felt heavy. you were already drifting off to sleep when you felt leona’s hand position your head to lean against his shoulder. you smiled and that’s when you were engulfed in a deep slumber. 
this really wasn’t the day off both leona and you were expecting. but at least you spent the whole day together and managed to work together as a pair to solve the mischief caused by the two children. well....somewhat solved it at least. 
BONUS: “AAAWH THEY’RE SO CUTE! THEY’RE LIKE A LITTLE FAMILY!” cater whisper shouted from behind a bush. he took out his phone and readied his camera. you and leona were out cold. snoring and dead asleep as leona leaned against the tree and you leaned against his shoulder. cheka rested his head on leona’s lap whilst your little sister did the same thing to you. the four of you really did look like a cute, little family. “this might be a good time to ambush. don’t you think my beautiful queen?” rook commented as he put aside the binoculars. “hmm...maybe we can make use of cater-kun. those pictures can easily be blackmail. we can get them to do our bidding as long as we have their picture.”
“ah! smart and beautiful! that is our dorm leader, vil schoenheit!”
“that’s what the both of you get for disrupting my day off.” 
lol i included a sentence or two related to math (simple math tho lol). wai? i finished like four weeks of math hw in a day haha. yeah well it was stupid for teachers to give us summer hw. like i’m already stressed sm and now they’re just yeeting more stress to me. yeeeets. rant over. 
love, a♕
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slusheeduck · 7 years
Text
In Which Yuri Plisetsky DEFINITELY does not have a crush
It’s ya girl back with another stupid YOI one-shot. This time with plenty of 15-year-old anger.
~
 As much as Yuri liked to say that he knew he was right about everything, he was painfully aware that sometimes he made mistakes. He usually managed okay, because he was awesome and yelling seemed to fix most problems. Case in point: he found Viktor after flying to Japan despite not knowing a lick of Japanese purely because he yelled his name a lot. Yelling worked.
But, after this mistake, yelling didn’t work. Punching his wall didn’t work. He even tried to flip his bed, but it was too heavy, so he kicked it over and over. But that didn’t work, either. So, for the first time in his young life, Yuri had to think about how to fix a problem. And he might…
 …have to talk to someone.
But who? Grandpa? No, Grandpa would listen, but he wouldn’t really get it. Mama? No. Ugh, god no, she’d coo over him and tell him how cute he was being. Mila would do the same thing. Georgi would start crying probably. Maybe Yakov? He wouldn’t get it. He did still have Viktor’s number…
No.
Viktor could never know.
Surprisingly, this whole…issue didn’t start until after the Onsen on Ice bullshit. Clearly, whatever weird practice regimen Viktor was doing with Yuuri was working, because he ended up winning. Even though Yuri was clearly the better skater, the minute that stupid pig got on the ice, something changed. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him. Yuri wasn’t sure if it was Katsudon’s face or steps or some sort of weird black magic demon stuff (which, admittedly, would have been really cool.). So he decided to watch some of his old videos to find out what it was. Know your enemy and all that.
This had been the mistake.
~~~~
Before this, he’d only seen the pig skate at the Sochi GPF. He’d been impressed with his short program—and even more impressed by the death glare he’d given the camera while waiting for his score. Most skaters were all smiles or tears in the kiss and cry, but not Yuuri Katsuki. That’s the kind of skater Yuri wanted to be next year: stony-faced after success, too confident to be moved even by a personal best score.
Yuuri Katsuki was so cool.
But then there was the free skate. And Katsuki had just fallen to pieces. He fell, twice. What was wrong? Was he sick? Yuri wondered if buying one of his posters had been a bad idea. Maybe it had jinxed him.
If Yuri’s faith in Katsuki had wavered during that terrible skate, it was renewed when he went to the kiss and cry. Again, there was that death glare to the camera! So cool!! Yuuri Katsuki didn’t give a shit and it was awesome!
Once the final was over (Viktor had won again, big whoop. Yuri would fix that next year) and Yakov was off yelling at Viktor for whatever reason, Yuri slipped away. He was going to find Katsuki. He had to meet this cool, collected skater face to face. He’d probably have better tips for next year than Airhead Nikiforov.
Yuri pulled the hood of his jacket up and stuck his hands into his pockets, slinking through the halls. He had to look cool when he talked to Katsuki. It wasn’t like he was a dumb fanboy or anything. He was basically an equal. They were just gonna talk. Like skaters. Cool skaters.
It took him a minute to realize the nerdy guy with glasses walking down the hall was actually Katsuki. He looked so different on the ice. Maybe it was to deflect the tons of fans he probably had. He was so much smarter than Viktor; stupid Viktor just kept making the fan problem worse. Maybe getting a pair of glasses would get those damn Yuri’s Angels off his back.
Well, he’d get cool glasses. Like, cheetah print ones. But still.
Yuri focused as he watched Katsuki slip into the bathroom, phone out. Huh? What was he doing in there? Maybe he was going to fire his coach for making him lose! Ohh, that’d be cool to see! Yuri slinked out from the hall and leaned against a wall for a moment. He didn’t want to be creepy. So he waited, just for a little bit, then slipped into the bathroom.
Immediately, he heard sniffling from the middle stall, and someone speaking in a language he couldn’t understand. Probably one of the sucky Juniors. Yuri was always surprised at what babies the other competitors could be. Some of them were even older than him.
Well, let that baby cry. He was looking for Katsuki. He had to be in here somewhere, letting his coach have it over the phone. But all the other stalls were empty, save for the one the crying was coming from. So…
No.
NO.
Yuri stared hard at the stall. This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t. It couldn’t be Yuuri Katsuki crying in there. But he was so cool! So collected! He looked like he was gonna murder someone in the kiss and cry! So how could…why would…
As Yuri’s view of his new idol crumbled before him, he shook slightly. Rage began to fill him, and before he could stop himself, he kicked the stall door as hard as he could. A little yelp came from inside. Then, slowly, it opened.
Yuri glared at the man—if he could even call him that after crying like a little girl!—who opened the stall. Stupid Katsuki with his stupid glasses and his stupid falls. Katsuki froze up right in front of him, looking terrified. That just made Yuri even more angry. Where was the scary face he was wearing earlier?
Where was the Yuuri Katsuki he had seen on the ice?
He tried to find what to say. How could he bring back the other Yuuri Katsuki? The cool one? He glared for a moment longer, then pointed at Yuri.
“Hey.”
Katsuki didn’t respond. Yuri grit his teeth.
“I’m competing in the Senior division next year. We don’t need two Yuris in the same bracket.” Yuri spat out the name. To think, just a few hours ago he thought it was cool that they had the same name. “Maybe you should just retire already…” The rage bubbled out of him, and he shoved his face as close as he could to Katsuki’s as he yelled, “LOSER!”
He deliberately kept his walk slow as he exited the bathroom, making sure his words resonated with Katsuki. Hopefully he’d see it as a challenge. If one Yuri loved facing a challenge, the other would, too, right? Right?!
As he slunk down the halls, he came across Yakov.
“There you are! I swear, Yuri, you’re just as bad as Viktor when it comes to…” Yakov trailed off, catching the glower still on Yuri’s face. “Yurochka? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it!”
~~~~~~~
This dumb…thing did kind of explain a lot. It explained why he put up with Katsudon’s drunk bullshit at the Banquet. Sure, at first, he’d taken the dance contest as Katsuki’s attempt to challenge Yuri back. But…well, he was kind of fun and actually not a bad dancer (though Yuri was better) and…
Ugh. No. Focus, Yura.
It also explained why he didn’t immediately tear up the poster of Katsuki when he got home. He’d actually put it up on his wall, naturally, as a reminder of who he had to beat. Next year was going to be a competition of honor. He was going to make Katsuki work if he decided not to be a loser and retire. And maybe once in a while he’d laid in bed and stared at it while marveling over how Katsuki was so nerdy and awful off-ice, but how he was absolutely breath-takin—
Goddammit.
Anyway. Back to after Onsen on Ice. As mentioned earlier, he’d pulled up every video he could of the pig’s skating before the Grand Prix Fuckup, as a way to gauge what he did that made him so spellbinding. He watched his routines from Juniors, from the Japanese Nationals, from his practice sessions in Detroit. He watched them all again. And again.
The question of why Yuuri Katsuki was so amazing on ice wasn’t answered.
But the question of why Yuri was so obsessed with him was.
And he hated it.
So now he had to win. He had to train harder. And he told everyone that it was because that stupid pig had taken Viktor from Russia, so he had to prove that he didn’t need Viktor to win the GPF this year. And every time he saw an update of Katsudon’s progress, he was that much more motivated to be better than him.
~~~~~~~~
Yuuko was the worst thing that ever happened to him. She reminded him of Mama, honestly; all enthusiasm and supportive of him even from abroad. She even kept texting him after Onsen on Ice and listened to his bitching about Lilia and Yakov.
That wasn’t why she was terrible. She was terrible because she kept giving him updates about the pig. Sure, some of them were prompted by him, but damn it, it wasn’t like he could stop himself from asking about stupid Katsudon! She should know not to tell him!
She was also terrible because she was teaching him Japanese. “In case you come back,” she said, sending a stupid little heart emoji. Granted, it was hard to learn Japanese via text. But one of the things that stuck was how to write his name.
ユーリ. プリセツキー.
If he’d had literally any other name in the world, that would have been cool to know. He’d write it everywhere, because Japanese looked cool and he could brag about it. But one idle thought, tapped out in a moment of weakness, had ruined this forever.
“is that how the other yuri spells his name too?”
Given the amount of emojis that followed, Yuuko’s nose was probably gushing blood. (Because that was just a thing that happened to Japanese people???) He shut his phone off immediately and hid in his room for the next eighteen hours.
Most of that time was spent kicking his bed enough to scare poor Potya off of it while blasting loud music over his headphones to drown out the shame.
A very small, insignificant part of it was spent listening to some dumb love song he’d downloaded on a whim. And, while listening, he definitely didn’t get teary over the injustice of being so misunderstood in the seriousness of his situation, and he sure as hell didn’t write out, in tiny, tiny characters, “Юрий + ユーリ”before scribbling angrily over them.
He wasn’t some sap.
~~~~~~~
Yuri really needed to burn that damn poster.
He’d brought it with him to Lilia’s to motivate him. To remind himself why he was fighting so hard, and whose beautiful STUPID UGLY FAT FACE he wanted to smash into the ice with his GPF victory. It was brought solely because of that reason. Definitely not because, after all of his purely academic searching of images, he thought it was one of the best official portraits of the pig yet. Certainly not because he found himself admiring the way Katsudon held himself in that pose. Absolutely not because it’s one of the few portraits where you can see that the pig’s eyes are a soft brown and a few pieces of hair had fallen across his forehead and his lips are slightly parted and maybe once or twice or five times in the middle of the night a stupid thought had entered Yuri’s head and he might have stood up on tiptoes and leaned forward to…
The first night Lilia wakes up to find Yuri Plisetsky screaming into a pillow, she worries. After that, she just lets him keep going until he feels better.
God knows she did the same thing at his age.
~~~~~~~~~
Mila prodded him into watching the Cup of China. “We have to support Georgi,” she’d said.
Hag. She knew exactly who they were going to watch, and it sure as hell wasn’t Georgi.
But he’d be fine. He’d be fine. He’d already seen the Eros routine, like, eighty times. He could probably skate it himself if he wanted to.
Skate it himself and look better doing it.
He tried to look as indifferent as possible as the pig got on the ice. He watched the tv with complete disinterest. His heart definitely didn’t jump as Yuuri the stupid ugly pig landed a perfect quad Salchow, using the exact method Yuri had taught him. When Mila pointed out that he’d tugged his straw out of his juice box during Katsudon’s performance, he loudly informed her that he’d done that on purpose and anyway juice boxes were for babies.
Due to some bad luck and thirst, his juice box was empty. Otherwise, he absolutely would have sprayed fruit punch right into Mila’s stupid face due to the smug look she gave him.
Even so, he managed all right with Eros. Basically complete disinterest. But then came the pig’s free skate the next day. He hadn’t seen that one fully.
Goddamn, he hadn’t been prepared.
His eyes were transfixed as he watched Yuuri skate. If he had been spellbinding before, he was an angel now. Yuri couldn’t even get angry about the falls and over-rotation. Katsuki was the picture of grace: neck outstretched, arms graceful, step sequence flawless. Yuri stared, jaw dropped and throat tight, as Katsuki tried to land the quad flip. It didn’t work, but the fact that he even tried to do something on Viktor’s level…
Yuuri finished, hand outstretched toward the camera, chest heaving and brown eyes wide and clearly so, so proud of himself. Yuri felt his heart flip. A part of his brain whispered, Let yourself have this. Succumb. Let yourself acknowledge that you have a cru—
And that’s when Viktor kissed the pig right on international television.
Mila whistled. “Well, guess we should’ve expected this from our Viktor. But that was some performance, don’t you…Yura, are you crying?”
“No!”
He definitely wasn’t crying. He definitely wasn’t jealous. He just…
He wanted to win so badly, was all.
~~~~~~~
The road to the GPF is hard enough without this…thing. So Yuri pushes it down and focuses. Before, he’d just wanted to win to prove to Katsudon that he was the better skater and that he was the best Yuri and that only losers cried and got kissed on television.
But then that shithead JJ came along.
Twice—fucking twice!—that self-absorbed Canadian snuck in and grabbed the gold. Even after Yuri snagged a personal best! He’d been so thrown that he’d actually caved and been nice to Katsudon. (Well, sort of. He’d still kicked him and yelled at him, and most of the motivation was showing how cool his Grandpa was.) He wasn’t even bothered by the fact that he slipped and more or less wished him a happy early birthday (which was November 29th and it didn’t matter how he knew that.)
Yuuri Katsuki wasn’t his target anymore. Now, JJ was the one to beat.
He could lose to Katsudon (he wouldn’t, but that was beside the point) and be okay if it meant that fucking JJ was below him. But god, that first place spot on the podium would be the best place to watch JJ squirm in his failure. So no more Grandpa, no more Katsudon.
His motivation was ruining JJ’s life.
And, surprise, it worked.
The thing creeps up again when he stands on the podium with Katsudon and Otabek (who, by the way, was his new super-cool best friend). Despite losing, the pig is still genuinely happy. Maybe he really is proud of Yuri. Maybe it’s from the engagement (?) or because he’s glad Yuri kept him from retiring like an idiot. But he’s smiling and care-free and goddammit, for a moment Yuri wonders if that whole “skating for love or whatever” thing actually wasn’t bullshit.
But then he remembers that he won his gold purely out of spite, and that snaps him out of thinking like a sap.
~~~~~~~~~
For one bright shining moment after the GPF, Yuri thought he finally, finally had someone to talk about this with. He had a friend. One that he made on his own! Surely Otabek would have some advice on what to do with this.
But there was one problem.
Beka…was really, really cool.
He was a DJ! He skated like he was in a war! He rode a cool scooter and wore sunglasses inside and was technically an adult and went to cool clubs and he was just so cool.
And the coolest thing of all was that he thought Yuri was cool, too. He said he had the eyes of a soldier. The eyes of a soldier! That was, by far, THE COOLEST thing anyone had ever said about him ever.
But this whole thing with Katsudon was definitely not cool. He’d just come off as some dumb, drooling teenage fanboy. So Beka could never know.
But there was a problem.
 The pig had moved to St. Petersburg. So now they were rinkmates. And he’d expected it’d be like when he’d become Viktor’s rinkmate: he’d finally see all of the flaws and how terrible Katsudon was when he was around him for more than a week. He was expecting relief.
Instead, he was pretty sure he was in hell.
Shitty Katsudon was nice to him. He invited him over to his and Viktor’s place or when they went to explore the city. He asked for help with translations when Viktor wasn’t around and taught him how to use chopsticks. Sometimes he called him “Yura” instead of “Yurio” and it made him want to die.
He had to talk about it. He had to get this awful strangling feeling that was nice but also the worst thing in the entire world out of his chest. If he didn’t, he would probably die. And it’d be the lamest way to die ever.
But again, who could he talk to? Beka was too cool. Lilia would probably tell him to kill that part of himself (to which he would yell back “What do you think I’ve been trying to do, hag?!” And then he’d have to do an hour of grand adages.) Yakov and Grandpa wouldn’t understand, because they were old men. Mama and Mila would be terrible. And Viktor…god no.
But who? Who would understand the pain of having a…..c     r    u   s    h……..on someone who would probably never, ever think of him that way?    
No.
No.
NooooooooooOOOOOOOOOO.
~~~~~~~~~
Hell wasn’t having your crush live nearby and be friendly to you. It wasn’t having your crush be a rinkmate and constantly have to look at his stupid fat beautiful face on the ice while listening to his fiancé gush over how beautiful his stupid fat beautiful face was. It wasn’t having catching your crush making out with said fiancé in the locker room when all you fucking wanted was to put on your skates.
Hell was your crush being the best option to talk to about having a crush on him.
“Did you mean to text me this morning?” the pig asked as they warmed up. Yuri felt like he was going to throw up.
“If I didn’t want to text you, I wouldn’t have sent it, dumbass.” Yuri hissed out the insult to really drive home the fact that Katsudon wasn’t that important to him and he totally hadn’t been staring at his phone for an hour before finally sending the ‘i wanna talk after practice” text to him.
The stupid pig stared at him curiously, but nodded. “What do you want to talk about?”
“I’ll tell you after practice.” Yuri hopes his face isn’t red, because Jesus Christ does he not need that right now, and he skates away. To try and combat the anxious feeling building in his chest, he does a quad Salchow right there and then.
It doesn’t help much, but it does look cool.
Practice drags on forever. Yakov makes him do drills like some novice. Viktor and Yuuri are all over each other on the ice, giggling and kissing and generally just being gross. Yuri debates calling off the stupid talk and just going home to throw up instead. But that won’t make him feel any better. He has to do this, even if it’s the worst thing he’s ever done.
The two Yuris exit the ice while Viktor hangs back to be yelled at by Yakov probably for being an idiot. In the locker room, Katsudon is the one who brings up Yuri’s impending death.
“So what did you want to—”
“Not here!” Yuri hisses, then glares down at his skates. “I don’t want Viktor to hear. Just…just you.”
He chances up a glance at the pig, who looks surprised and…what, touched?...at his statement. He quickly adds, “Will you be able to survive being away from him that long, pig?”
Yuuri gives him that infuriating smile that says he knows Yuri’s being prickly on purpose, and he says, “I think I can manage for a little bit, yeah.”
Katsudon doesn’t say any more on the subject, even after they’re changed and marching out into the Russian winter. Yuuri pulls out his phone—probably to text Viktor some gushy love crap—and Yuri tries not to look at him or think about how it’s kind of cute that his ears get red in the cold because that’s a LAME and STUPID thing to think about.
Yuri leads the way into the first café he sees, with Katsudon following quietly after. When the idiot fumbles his order, Yuri barks it out for him. He orders the same tea with milk at every place, it’s not like Yuri pays attention or anything.
It’s not until they’re both sitting, hot drinks in hand, in a very cute corner of the café that would be a very nice area for a date that would never ever happen, that Katsudon decides it’s time for Yuri to die.
“So what did you want to talk about?”
Yuri fidgets. He takes a long drink of tea. He burrows his nose into his scarf. Yuuri is annoyingly patient with him, watching him with those stupid doe eyes. Finally, Yuri swallows, keeping half his face buried in his scarf.
“What do you do...when you like someone?” Yuri grimaces and tries to burrow deeper into his scarf. “Like…really like them?”
Immediately Yuuri’s face softens, and he smiles. “I’m…not really sure I’m the right person to ask about this, Yura.”
“Yes, you are. Everyone else would be stupid about it.” The pig will probably be stupid, too, but with Yuri’s current condition, he could tolerate that stupidity. He watched Yuuri hard, frowning beneath his scarf, as the pig stayed quiet, stupidly soft brown eyes staring down at his cup. Was he just not going to talk? Was that better or worse?
“Okay, but really. I…don’t know what to suggest to you. Tell them?”
“Нет.”
“Why?”
Yuri grimaces as he feels his face grow hot. He hated this. Hated. This. Maybe he could just strangle himself with his scarf. “H-They’re seeing someone.”
“Oh…”
“I don’t want your pity, pig! I want a solution!” Yuri snaps, earning a couple glances their way.
Yuuri puffs out a breath, looking away. “I…I don’t know what to tell you.” He gave a small smile, an awful one that made Yuri’s heart ache so hard he nearly punched himself in the chest. “I know you’ll think I’m a loser for this, but…it’s only been Viktor since I was twelve. I spent most of my life pining for someone who didn’t know I even existed. I didn’t think he’d ever see me like I saw him.”
“That’s exactly how I feel,” Yuri blurts before he could stop himself. “And it sucks. It really sucks!”
“I know it does.”
“And then I see him and if he does literally anything, I just…it’s like I’m having a heart attack and it doesn’t stop and I like it but I also really, really hate it, Katsudon. I hate it so much!”
“Having a crush is the worst,” Yuuri agrees.
“It is!”
This conversation is surprisingly…not terrible. Yuri seemed to be doing a good job of keeping Katsudon in the dark, and Yuuri was giving him exactly the kind of sympathy he’d been dying for. Which probably wouldn’t help in the crush department, but in the moment, it feels so good to get it all out. Yuri slumps forward, chin plopping into his hands.
“The worst is when he skates,” he mutters, looking at his quickly cooling tea. “He’s like something out of a dream. Like the moment he’s out there…”
“The whole world stops, and it’s just him.” Yuuri says these words slowly, and Yuri starts to nod, but he freezes as he catches the emotions flitting over Katsudon’s face.
Realization.
Guilt.
Distress.
Sympathy.
Shit.
Yuri sits up straight, eyes wide. For the first time in his life, he’s speechless. He fucked up. He really, really fucked up.
Katsudon knew.
Was there even any way to recover from this? Should he just die? What was the quickest way to manage that? He was already in hell, so it wouldn’t be any worse than just sitting here, staring at Katsudon who now totally knew that he had a crush on him.
Just as Yuri was about to throw the table and run, a hand reached out to rest on his arm. If he wasn’t in shock, he would have thrown it off and continued with the table plan. But considering his entire world was crumbling at the moment, he couldn’t do anything more than stare up at Yuuri—stupid fucking beautiful shitty understanding asshole Yuuri—mutely and wait for the inevitable, “Oh, Yurochka, I’m so sorry…”
It didn’t come immediately. For a long moment, Yuuri simply stared at him. He wasn’t mad—which was good but also not because if he’d been mad then they could fight and Yuri was good at that—but he didn’t look too happy either. After a long moment, he moved his chair closer. What was he doi—?
Yuri’s crumbling world came to a grinding halt as the stupid pig pulled him into a tight hug.
This wasn’t like the Rostelecom Cup. He couldn’t fight this; he was in too much shock. So he just sat there, stock still, as Yuuri gave him what had to be one of the top five best hugs in his life.
“It sucks,” Yuuri finally whispered. “I know it does. It’s the worst thing in the world. And…and it’s really, really unfair that I got the ending I did.”
Yuri manages a stiff nod. Yuuri just hugs him tighter and he feels himself melt, just a bit, into the hug before Yuuri pulls back to look at him with the most hopeful, wonderful smile he’d ever seen.
“But Yura, you’re amazing. Look at what you did at the GPF, and I know you’re gonna make us all work three times as hard at Worlds!” His look softened, and his smile warmed. “You’ll find your own Viktor someday, I know you will.”
Yuri’s soul is forcibly ejected from his body.
“You think…I…Viktor?!”
“Like I said, I completely understand, and…” Yuuri’s cut off as Yuri gets to his feet and kicks his chair back. “Yu—”
“This conversation’s over, pig!”
It turned out, hell wasn’t talking to your crush about your feelings for him.
Hell was having your crush think you liked Viktor FUCKING Nikiforov.
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