#also perhaps i would get so upset over my mom cleaning my room (although being a nice gesture) is because she would move shit to places-

[mossy-rot]

reading about autistic meltdowns is crazy. in retrospect maybe that time i ended up sobbing self isolating and lashing out at people because I couldn't figure out how to set up my laptop the same way it had been before might've been because of The Autism

#i cannot deal with changes to things I deal with regularly #i need to have my phone and comp exactly the same lest I Suffer bc i use them every day #also perhaps i would get so upset over my mom cleaning my room (although being a nice gesture) is because she would move shit to places- #i didn't know and messed up the system i had #also fuckin. executive dysfunction. that's some shit isn't it #i had to move to a new desk early in my job to run a different room and the desk setup was different and I Was Struggling A Bit #also people trying to calm me down during meltdowns is significantly worse and i read a bit that was like. #'trying to interject into the meltdown may cause additional sensory overload. it's most safe to let the person self-regulate.' well shit #that's about right huh #autistic burnout also seemed very familiar and its a little disturbing just how close everything hits #anyways im probably autistic. good night #mossy's rambles #text post #luci's rambles #autism #neurodivergent #autistic things #autistic adult #autistic experiences #if anyone would like to add to the pile and tell me im autistic feel free ig. ive already been peer reviewed

[shreddedparchment]

A World of Our Own Pt.06

Broken Hearts

09/20/2020

Pairing: Bucky x Reader          Word Count: 6,012

Warnings: violence, blood, suggestive themes, language

A/N: I’ve been so excited for this chapter for so long. Probably just one or two more chapters after this. I hope you enjoy it! If you happen to reblog, thank you so much for helping me spread my work. xoxo

Ryan’s chuckle is infectious, and you can’t help but laugh along with him as he leans over to stoke the flames of your campfire.

It’s warm. Cozy by the roaring ocean waves that bring with it a cool briny breeze.

“Don’t laugh at me. It was very traumatizing.” Ryan demands, putting the large stick he’s been using to poke the fire aside before leaning back against new palm logs that he and Bucky had chopped for seating.

Even though you’re meant to sit on them, all of you seem to prefer to sit on blankets you’d stitched together from clothing too worn to use anymore.

“I feel bad for the shark. It has probably never seen a naked man before in its life and you’re out here dangling your bits all over its face.” You tease, shaking your head as if you really disapprove of him.

“Wha-?!” Ryan gasps, mouth wide open as he struggles to find a comeback.

“I was mindin’-” he takes a lengthy pause. “-mah own business-”

He places his hand on his chest as he pauses again, the wheels in his brain working quickly to come up with his excuse.

“-when this very large an’ scary fish comes out of the depths an’ charges me. I was the one scrambling ta get back ta shore. I was the one who was given a heart attack. Not the bloody shark!”

“Well, why were you swimming so far out?” You ask him, chuckling again and feeling your cheeks warm with embarrassment at the memory of watching him run out of the water screaming at the top of his lungs, “Shark! Shark! Shark!” completely naked.

You’re not ashamed to say that there was nothing there that wasn’t worth looking at, but it was only an afterthought that you now think of as opposed to noticing in the moment.

You’d turned around instantly and gasped, completely confused as to why he was running towards you naked until you’d heard what he was saying.

“Should I start the fish?” Ryan asks, reaching for the folded leaves beside him where you’d put the cleaned fish when the sun had still been out.

It’s very obvious that Ryan isn’t answering your question.

Both you and Bucky have been watching him closely over the past month, since he’d first shown up completely wet, wondering where it is that he goes when he swims.

It wouldn’t make you so suspicious if he weren’t randomly disappearing when he takes these swims. He waits until you and Bucky are busy, distracted, then wanders off without a word.

Bucky has made you swear not to follow him, afraid of what Ryan might be capable of if he is up to something and is suddenly caught.

Problem is Bucky also refuses to leave you alone anymore, so he doesn’t get to tail Ryan either.

Until Ryan chooses to answer your question, neither of you will ever know where he goes.

“Sure.” You nod, then reach to place the metal sheet that Bucky had made for cooking food without having to deal with embers and ash on the fish.

Ryan separates each fish into one leaf on its own then places them on the thin sheet so that they might bake.

The two of you work in silence for a bit, sitting across the fire from each other, you steal glances at him, and he returns each look. He smiles, his expression kind and so trustworthy that you think in moments like these that you and Bucky might be wrong about him.

“Ryan?” You begin, hesitant.

He smiles to encourage you.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” He nods, smile vanishing as his face becomes a little more serious. Confused as to why you think you have to ask.

“Why don’t you talk about your son?” You wonder, now having said the words your mouth keeps going. “You drop this bomb and then never mention him again. I wasn’t sure whether you didn’t want to talk about him, so I never asked. If you’d prefer not to, I understand. There are things I’d rather not talk about to. Everyone is entitled to their secrets. I just—a kid is such a big part of who you are, right? Not the only part of you, obviously but he’s your son. You must think about him all the time.

“Who did you leave him with? He must miss you so much. I’m so sorry that you’re stuck here, with us, instead of home with your boy.” You sigh, and your breath shudders.

You smile at him awkwardly, realizing you’ve rambled on nervously.

“Sorry.” You offer, “I kinda just go off when I’m nervous.”

Ryan’s face is the picture of relaxation, however. He’s not smiling, but he doesn’t look upset that you’ve asked.

“I’m sorry.” He shakes his head and you’re certain that he’s going to tell you he doesn’t want to talk about it, but then… “To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t really sure that you or Bucky cared to know about Conor.”

“His name is Conor?” You gasp, smiling already like an idiot as you start to imagine a mini version of Ryan. Sandy blonde hair, lovely eyes, light skin.

“Aye, wee tyke is only five but when he talks to you, he sounds much older.” Finally, he smiles, the admiration of a father pouring out of him as he thinks about his little boy.

“Does he look like you or his mother?” You wonder, eager for details now that he’s talking.

“He looks like his mother. Almost my exact opposite. Dark hair and skin. Perhaps a bit lighter than his mother but he’s her spittin’ image. Dark eyes too. Just as beautiful.” Ryan says, a bit more forlorn than before.

Your own smile falters, wondering if maybe he and Conor’s mother are no longer together? Jeez, you really hope that he isn’t still married and flirting with you the way he has been. Not that you blame him being stuck on an island with no other women, but still.

Ryan seems like the type of man to devote himself completely.

“Is she-?” You offer, just to see if he’d like to open up.

He meets your gaze, holding it for a long moment before he tilts his head a little as he makes his choice quickly.

“Grace died. Just after giving birth to Conor. Conor almost went with her, but he pulled through and we have made a go of it, I think.” He gives you another smile. “I think he’s happy. Or was, before all this.”

“I’m so sorry, Ryan. I’m sure Conor loves and appreciates you very much.” His story is tragic, and your heart truly breaks for him.

“Thank you. Gettin’ back to him is the only thing that matters now.” He nods, looking more at ease. “It feels good to talk about them if I’m honest. I havin’ really spoken about it ta anyone other than mah parents. That’s who Conor is with, by the way. You were wonderin’ earlier.”

“You can always talk to me. About anything.” You assure him.

His smile grows wider and any sorrow left in his eyes vanishes as he looks down at the cooking fish before giving his head a minute shake.

“What?” You ask, your own voice shaking with the hint of laughter at the amused expression on his face.

“I was just thinkin’ about how unfortunate it is that you’re taken now. You would have made him a proper step-mom maybe.” His bold words stun you.

At a loss for what to say, you can only seem to focus on the way your neck begins to burn.

Ryan clearly enjoys watching you squirm for the two second that he has to do so before Bucky’s voice breaks the tension.

“Keep that up and you’ll lose your room.” Bucky warns, a playful note in his voice but really you can hear how serious he is.

“I just got it.” Ryan protests, looking towards the hut down the beach.

Bucky worked so hard on the build, elevated and sturdy with each brick placed with care and somewhat expert precision. The gambrel roof, which Bucky chose so that you could use the extra space to hang clothes and food away from where animals might find them, is tall and thatched with the fronds you’d worked so hard to tear and resew to keep the hut safe from the elements.

The hut is split in two down the center with two entrances. When you face the hut, the left side of it is taken by Ryan, a flight of bamboo stairs leading up to the curtained entrance. The right side belongs to you and Bucky.

“Stop flirting with my girl then, and I’ll let you keep it.” Bucky threatens, this time it’s clear he means it.

Ryan holds up his hands in defeat as you turn to devour you freshly bathed Bucky. In jeans and a t-shirt, he looks almost as if he’s ready to begin his day but instead of being productive he drops his dirty clothes into the handmade basket you’d woven with the extra strips of palm fronds then moves towards you. He takes hold of your face, tilting it back so that you might look up at him.

He leans down to look at you, smiling pleasantly.

“Hi.” He tells you, voice deep and penetrating.

“Hi.” You reply. “You smell good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He leans down and kisses you, lips so sweet and fresh you could really just do this all night. He holds it for a few moments before he begins pushing you to scoot forward.

You move as he wants you to, looking back at him as he sits himself behind you, legs spread wide before he pulls you back to sit between his legs which he props up on either side of you. His arms wrap around your stomach and while your happiness quadruples with this unyielding affection he seems to shower on you lately, you can’t help but notice the way Ryan looks away, a small twinge of bitterness in his expression.

It’s just the island. You tell yourself, certain that if you all weren’t stuck here, you wouldn’t be so lucky as to hold the attention of two very beautiful men.

Although you’re certain, you can’t help but wonder if Ryan really does like you. Is it possible?

~~~~~~~~~~

Time doesn’t stop. Not for you stuck on this island. Not for Bucky, torn from the promise of a new life. Not for Ryan who misses his son and is losing more and more time with him. With time is taken all hope that you’ll ever be rescued but the three of you refuse to speak the words aloud.

In silence, there is the illusion of hope and you cannot afford to let it go.

Days roll into weeks and the three of you try to keep your spirits up. It’s easier for you and Bucky, you assume. Finally, being with him has changed very little and so much all at once.

The biggest change is your sleeping arrangements. The hut has been built for a while now. Two months it feels like, going on three. Six months going on seven since you three have been trapped here.

With the hut came privacy, the adobe wall that splits it in two gives you and Bucky the luxury of cuddling as you used to in the fuselage without the worries of being accidentally disturbed.

Because of this, in the morning Bucky’s warm kisses trail along your cheeks, your neck, onto your collarbone raising tingles in all the right places before he finds his way up to your lips.

His arms wrap themselves around you as hey lays himself over you and you raise your leg to hold him close.

“Good morning.” He whispers and your eyes open, devouring the beautiful image of him. Clean and dry. Not a drop of sweat on his perfect skin whereas your own is dewy and you’re in need of a morning swim.

“Good morning.” You whisper, your body burning for him.

It doesn’t help that you can feel him pressed against your thighs, stiff and awake with the morning.

With your lips suddenly dry, you run your tongue along them, wetting them as your breath hitches when he rolls his hips from side to side as he adjusts himself over you.

You know that he doesn’t mean it to make your blood boil, but it does and you snake your hands down to his waist before your fingers worm their way underneath his t-shirt and gently tickle his smooth skin.

“What are you doing?” He asks you, a smile in his voice as he raises an eyebrow but hold you closer.

“I don’t know.” You shrug, licking your lips again.

He huffs a laugh, cool air raising goosebumps along your neck.

“I think you know.” He counters, amused by your attempt to seduce him.

“Then why ask?” You reach down, sliding your hand down underneath the waistband of his underwear, breath catching in your throat at the swell of his bum.

“Y/N,” He pleads, a small hint of a chastising tone to his words. “We can’t.”

“But I want to.” You whimper, tired of begging. It’s been so long since the two of you have been together. For what feels like forever now.

“So, do I, kitten. Trust me.” He wiggles his hips, probably just trying to get comfortable but he inadvertently eggs you on, proves his point by pressing his erection against you—accidentally of course.

“Then…” You try it even though you know he’ll say no. Even though this argument has failed so many times. “…I can just-I’ll give you something and you don’t have to give me anything back.”

“I could never do that.” He argues, his face contorting a bit more. The hints of anger rising.

“Then we can just stop there, Bucky. We’ve got control, don’t we? I wanna suck your co-”

“Jesus, Y/N.” Bucky rolls off of you, sitting at the edge of the low bed with his elbows on his knees as he looks across the hut to the opposite wall, his breathing a little heavy.

You sit up, blinking away the tears of rejection because you know he doesn’t mean it in that way. You know what his worry is because it’s you’re worry too.

“I’m sorry.” You move up behind him, hugging him around his chest and resting your cheek against his solid back.

The rapid rate of his heart tells you how much he wants you even if he can’t see to let himself show it. You take solace in that as you splay your hands on his chest, breathing in the scent of the coconut oil you’d infused into the handmade soap you’d worked on several weeks ago.

“I…you know that we can’t.” He frets, still upset.

“I do.” You shake your head. “I’m just-”

He hears the sob trapped in your throat and he turns so quickly you nearly fall over but he’s there, holding you tight against his chest, hands caressing the back of your head as the other wraps around your shoulders.

“I want you, kitten. Believe me. I do. If I could be sure that we wouldn’t mess up…You were the one that set this boundary.” He reminds you, pulling back to look at you as shame overcomes you.

He’s right of course. You’d told him that you didn’t want to sleep with him until the two of you could be sure that you wouldn’t get pregnant. Not here. Not on this island. There was too much that could go wrong. Too much danger for a baby, not to mention birthing one here with no doctors in case something went wrong.

No, you couldn’t do it and so you’d both agreed.

But…

“I didn’t think we’d still be here.” You huff, burying your face into his chest to hide your embarrassment.

Bucky breathes a little more lightly, almost laughing again at the shift. This conversation has gone from up to down and right back up.

“I know, babe.” He whispers, resting his chin on your head as he strokes your back with both hands. “To be honest, my patience is also wearing thin.”

You pull back quickly, searching to get a look at his eyes to see if he might be lying. He isn’t and it does make you feel better that you aren’t the only one struggling with this abstinence.

“I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to wait.” He confesses.

“Me neither.” You sigh. “But you already knew that.”

His face breaks into a smile and you’re calm again, happy to see that beautiful expression on his handsome face. Silver blue eyes all crinkled at the corners.

You reach up to touch his hair, giving it a decent appraisal. “You need another cut.”

“I think we should go shorter this time.” He nods.

“Like a little higher than your chin?” You touch the spot, but Bucky shakes his head.

“No, I mean, short.”

You gasp. “Bucky, I don’t think I trust myself to do that.”

“I trust you.” He counters but you shake your head.

Nope. You’re not going to risk butchering his lovely locks.

“I won’t do it, Barnes.” You frown.

“Stubborn ass.” He glowers.

“Fuck you.” You retort.

“Not yet.” He teases.

“I hate you!” You spit at him, because you can already see the laugh coming at that unfair statement and you shove away from him, moving towards the clothes you’ve got packed in one of the salvaged suitcases to pull out your favorite pair of jean shorts and a plain red t-shirt.

He’s laughing as you dress and doesn’t stop when you’re gone.

Making your way down to the campfire, you search for Ryan, half expecting to find him cooking fish for breakfast but he’s nowhere to be found.

As Bucky joins you, dressed in the same t-shirt with his own favorite pair of jeans on, you place your hands on your hips and look towards the stretch of water where the cockpit had once been visible.

It seems to have sunk to the floor now that the tide has risen and fallen so many times, taking the plane with it.

“What’s the matter?” Bucky wonders, lifting his foot onto the trough he’s been mixing more clay in again, working on something secret that he refuses to let you in on just yet.

“I’ll tell you when it’s relevant. Right now, it’s just a precaution. Trust me, okay? If I need to bring it up, I will.” Then he’d gone back to lining the outside of the hut with metal sheets from the plane before sealing them over with clay.

He laces up his boot but watches you as he works.

“He’s gone again.” You shake your head.

“He hasn’t tried anything.” Bucky ponders. “If he was going to hurt us, he would have done it by now.”

“I know, it’s just…” You bite your lip.

“He is hiding something.” Bucky agrees, this conversation having played out so many times. “But I think he also wants some distance from us. We’re probably annoying to be around.”

“We’re not that bad anymore.” You argue.

“Oh yeah?” Bucky whispers, his lips suddenly at your ear.

He kisses it, slipping your lobe into his mouth as your eyes shut to the pleasure the gesture raises.

“You’re not making this any easier.” You sigh but turn to look at him and without hesitation pull him down to meet your lips with his own.

The kiss is a frenzy, heated and eager as your hands grope and cling as Bucky’s also press and pull against the flesh of your hips and ass leaving burning bruises behind.

Out here where you might get caught is the safest place to be this affectionate. Where you can’t take this any further than this passionate kiss.

“Do ya really have ta do that so early in the mornin’?” Ryan’s voice cuts in, interrupting just as you both intend.

Bucky pulls away first, letting the smack of your kiss echo before giving you one devilish grin then marching back to the trough.

“Sorry.” You turn to Ryan, hoping your expression is rightly chastised. “Fish?”

Ryan holds it up to indicate his catch then moves towards you to hand it over for cleaning.

You settle down beside him on your usual stump, pulling out your makeshift knives and gut the fish with the precision of someone who’s done this everyday for half a year. Ryan gets to building a new fire, gathering as much of the ash for you as he can for when you decide to make more soap.

While you work, you watch him, stealing glances at the subtle downturn to the corners of his lips.

The longer he works the more he seems to wallow.

Once the fish is settled over the fire, you turn in your spot to focus your attention on him.

“What?”

Slightly startled, he turns to you with wide eyes, all traces of the depression he’s been in gone.

“What?” He sounds confused.

“What’s the matter with you?” You clarify.

“Oh.” He sighs and shakes his head.

You know you can guess. “Conor?”

“Aye, Conor.” The sadness returns to his face and your heart gives a painful lurch for him.

He must miss his son so much.

“He’s probably startin’ school this month.” He laments, stoking the fire.

“It’s his first year?”

“Aye, I hope he isn’t scared.” Ryan hopes.

“I’m sure he’s just as brave as his dad.” You offer in comfort, giving Ryan as kind a smile as you can muster.

“We’ll get off this island, Ryan. Someone will come. Even if it’s by accident. Even if it’s years from now. You’ll be with Conor again.” You hope, because even though you want it to be a promise, you don’t know.

Ryan’s face contorts, agony ripping through him for one quick second before he meets your gaze and reaches out to take hold of your hand.

“I think…” Bucky begins from the trough, Ryan’s hand freezing mere inches from your own.

He takes it back and clears his throat, the look of pain vanishing from his handsome face before he looks to Bucky just as you do.

Bucky’s gaze is focused on the horizon, the ocean waves unnaturally gentle. It’s a beautiful day.

“What is it babe?” You call, trying to pull Bucky out of his thoughts.

He turns his furrowed brow back to the two of you, “I think we might have to move to the cave. Soon.”

“The cave?” You rise, glancing at the fish to make sure they’re not burning. “The one Ryan was in when he landed?”

Ryan sits back, a perplexed gaze fixed on Bucky.

“Yeah. Do you think you can show me where it is?”

“Why would ya need to go there?” Ryan reaches out to stoke the fire once again, pulling his gaze away from you both.

“Bucky?” You worry, moving towards him as he straightens up and wipes his hands clean to take your hand as you reach him.

“We won’t need to go there yet.” He assures you, wrapping his metal arm around your waist to pull you into his side. “It’s just a precaution.”

“A precaution against what?”

“It’s hurricane season. The hut is…I’m not exactly an architect. I’ve done what I can with what we have but that hut is not meant to withstand a hurricane. When it comes down to it, we might be able to take shelter in the fuselage if we have to but with the three of us, the cave might be a better option. How did you hold up in the caves during that first storm?” Bucky gestures to Ryan.

Ryan spares you both a glance before nodding. “There was minor flooding at the back jus’ before the exit by the jungle but otherwise it was dry and safe. It’s not a bad plan.”

“Then you’ll show me where it is?” Bucky insists.

“It’s not hard ta find, but sure. Tomorrow morning?” Ryan turns to him.

Bucky nods leaning down to press a kiss to your head.

The memory of that initial hurricane just after you’d crash landed here fills you with worry. What if you do have to go through another one and this one is worse? How likely is it that you’d die from a storm before you get rescued?

“Don’t worry, kitten. I’ll keep you safe.” Bucky whispers, reaching up to stroke your cheek with the back of his hand where there is no clay.

“I wish you didn’t have to shoulder so much.”

“Taking care of you is never too much.” Bucky smiles. “I kinda look forward to it actually.”

“Why?” You wonder, absolutely confused.

“Because I do. Don’t question it. Just accept it. You’re never getting rid of me.” He teases.

“Even when we’re rescued?” You turn to face him, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“Especially when we’re rescued.” He wiggles his eyebrows at you once, then starts to lean down towards you for a kiss.

“I’m going for a swim.” Ryan announces, breaking the little bubble you and Bucky are in.

Without ceremony, Ryan moves straight for water headed towards the crash site without even feigning a different direction.

This draws both yours and Bucky’s attention as both of you are well aware that Ryan has still been swimming out to the cabin, but he’s taken such great care to go at it in roundabout ways. While strange, you guess that he must be more upset about Conor than even you could tell.

Your mind replays the agonized look he’d given you before when you’d promised him that rescue would be coming. Maybe he could tell that it was only your hope?

“He misses Conor. He should be starting school soon.” You explain.

“Mm.” Bucky nods, accepting your explanation.

“If there were any photos, he would have found them already, wouldn’t he?” You wonder, curious to no end about your new friend.

Sure, you have suspicions, but after so much time spent with him, you’ve both accepted him as a part of your life here. Ryan has your trust. And though you know it was given reluctantly, Bucky’s too.

“Maybe he just can’t bear to give up. I know I wouldn’t.” Bucky looks down at you, giving you a squeeze.

“If you had a son?” You ask.

“I’m not opposed to the idea.” Bucky stuns you, pulling you to look at him with his words to see how serious he might be about it. “With you. When the time is right.”

Your heart is pounding. Your mind is reeling. Bucky wants to have kids with you?

“You promise?” You gasp, so shocked your voice is mostly air.

“I love you.”

You smile, loving the words that spill from his lips.

“You do?”

Bucky smiles then chuckles, reaching up to squeeze the back of your neck, and you know that he’s telling you the truth.

~~~~~~~~~~

“You smell good.” Bucky sighs, holding the blanket open for you as you take off your shoes and slip into the bed and nestle into Bucky’s arms. “Good bath?”

You can hear the exhaustion in his voice. He’s been working so hard to fortify the hut for smaller storms that might hit.

“Yes.” You hug him, cuddling in against his side as he drapes the blanket over you.

“You’re wearing your shorts?” He checks, and he’s right.

You’ve chosen to sleep in your second set of shorts, dark gray cloth instead of jeans and your tattered blue floral dress.

Because you don’t answer, Bucky adjusts to look down at you, forcing himself awake.

“Kitten?”

“I’m just…I want to be ready if we need to go short notice.” You confess, shutting your eyes and refusing to look at him. You don’t want him to see the fear.

“Ready for what?”

“Anything. Hurricanes.” You admit and wish you could throw away this fear.

You’re almost expecting Bucky to chastise you for your worrying but instead he settles into the plane cushion bed again and cuddles you closer.

“That’s smart.” He approves. “But we won’t have anywhere to run until tomorrow morning. Ryan has to show us the cave first.”

“Can I come?” You’re already drifting off, voice weak and slurring.

Bucky’s is the same, both of you exhausted from the day’s work.

“You kidding? I’m not letting you outta my sight.” He mumbles, his breathing getting heavier.

You almost smile but sleep takes you and your mind is overcome with dreams of thunderous clouds.

~~~~~~~~~~

For a moment Bucky isn’t sure what he’s hearing. He can feel you stirring to the sound in his arms and he tries to hold you tighter.

You were so scared before, the look of terror in your eyes at the prospect of being caught in a storm worse than the one you weathered before.

He wants to make sure you feel safe and secure with him. He’ll protect you from weather and predator, whether that’s animal or stupid fucking Ryan.

You tug away from him hard though and the sound…a humming…no, a loud thumping. It’s hard to place as he tries to both understand the sound and also figure out why you’re no longer lying beside him.

“Y/N?” He searches, sleepily pushing himself onto one elbow as he hears you bolt for the door.

Suddenly he’s wide awake and he can hear you rounding the hut to the other set of stairs on the other side.

He pulls his boots on quickly, sliding his feet in and lacing them with nimble fingers loosely.

“He’s gone!” You cry out, the pure panic in your voice as the sound overhead suddenly makes sense to Bucky.

A helicopter! It thuds loudly, motor whirring and buzzing and blowing sand everywhere while whipping trees back and forth.

Bucky springs form the hut and sees you already racing towards the trees where you can see the chopper headed.

He passes you quickly, easily. But he doesn’t stop because he knows that you would never forgive him.

Bucky runs faster than he’s ever run in his life, barreling through dense jungle but never once missing a step.

The branches of certain trees scrape at his skin and slap his face, but he doesn’t relent in his pursuit.

It takes minutes for him to reach a small field of tall grass. It’s sways violently in the chopper’s wind and at the center of this field is Ryan.

Bucky stops, taking in the sight as a blinding spotlight shines on Ryan first then quickly swings towards him.

Ryan follows the beam and when he sees Bucky take a step towards him, he reaches down to his hip where a holster suddenly sits. He pulls a gun, a 9mm Beretta from what Bucky can tell, and stops his advance.

“Stop!” Ryan orders, his voice tight and commanding.

As the chopper descends a little more to hover at fifty feet, a steel wire ladder falls down towards Ryan as Bucky begins to notice the metal case in his other arm.

“What’s in there?” Bucky asks, staying as still as he can until he might have a chance to pounce.

“The other black box.” Ryan says simply, his voice softer but defiant. “Parts of it.”

Bucky’s glare is piercing and if Ryan didn’t have that gun, he would probably have already fled.

“I had to…” Ryan begins, still combative in tone but Bucky realizes that the anger in it is not directed at him. “They have me by the balls, mate. When Grace died, Conor would have followed, but they found me, and they offered to save his life. That is a debt I can never repay.”

Bucky’s fists tighten, anger bubbling up to choke him so that he cannot speak. These schemes, it has to be Hydra. No one else would want him dead.

“Who’s they?” He forces himself to ask, just to make sure.

It could be the U.S. Government too if he’s being completely honest. They could very well want him out of the way.

“I don’t know. People.” Ryan throws out, and Bucky believes that he doesn’t know. “All I know is they wanted you out of the way. If I had known that she…I didn’t know that she would be there. I didn’t know that they would die.”

Ryan’s voice grows thick and he shakes his head, ridding himself of whatever thoughts his guilt have conjured up.

“If I don’t finish the job, they’ll kill mah boy.” He holds the gun steadier, catching his breath before he makes his face as stoic as possible. “This is all I can give her. I can’t save her, but I can at least do this much. I can give her you. They’ll think you’re dead. I’ll make sure.”

Bucky sees it now. The real emotions behind his eyes. Ryan does love you. He’s certain of it now. He also understands what he’s saying and leans forward, angling himself so that when Ryan shoots, the bullet will hit his shoulder. Too high to be his chest and endanger his lungs or heart.

“Tell her I’m sorry.” Ryan pleads, and squeezes the trigger.

Bucky’s mind races with possibilities. Ryan might miss. He could hit him where he will not recover and then you’d be left here alone on this island. You’d hate him for not fighting and hate Ryan for killing him. He could bleed out and Bucky can’t imagine you here without him.

The bullet pierces him just where he’d hoped and falls to the ground with a heavy thud and goes as still as he can possibly can.

He holds his breath, pushing through the pain that burns from his right shoulder, and hoping that the chopper will leave quickly.

~~~~~~~~~~

Gasping with a stitch in your side and your legs made of jelly, you break through the trees onto a field you’ve passed a few times here on the island but avoided in case of snakes.

The sight before freezes you. Ryan shoots. Bucky falls.

Ryan turns to a wire ladder and begins to climb, and you race to Bucky, sobs already shaking your body.

“Bucky, no!” You gasp. “Please. Please, don’t be dead.”

As you reach him, you turn him over, and see that his eyes are wide open, reading your heartbroken expression as he remains unmoving while you press your hands against his wound.

You continue to sob, turning your eyes to the chopper overhead as it pulls away and takes with it all hope of your rescue.

As it fades into the distance, Bucky pulls himself up a bit, sitting up and pressing his much larger hand against the bullet hole on the front while you fuss with the exit wound in the back.

“W-We need to s-stitch you up.” You cry, voice low and controlled despite the sobs still ripping through your throat.

Without hesitation you reach down and tear away at your dress reducing its length even further, now just barely reaching your hips. You wrap it around the wound as best you can, slapping Bucky’s hand away to shove more fabric over it and then place his hand back over the spot.

“I’m alright, kitten.” Bucky tells you, voice strong and certain.

“Like fuck-all you are.” You sob, fisting the front of his shirt as you refuse to look back to where you can still hear the chopper’s sounds, fading. “H-He shot you.”

Bucky strokes the side of your face with his metal hand, directing your gaze up so that you can look at him.

As you meet his steel and ice eyes, full of warmth and reassurance, you fall to pieces as you realize that Ryan has betrayed you. All your suspicions, as unlikely as you’d thought them, were true.

Bucky metal arm pulls you closer, his lips pressed to your crown as you sob against his chest, knowing now that you will never leave this place. You and Bucky will live and die on this island and no one will ever know you were here.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #castaway au #bucky x reader fanfiction #bucky x reader fic #winter soldier x reader #bucky barnes x reader fanfiction #marvel au #marvel fanfiction #a world of our own #awooo #a world of our own pt06 #desert island au #stranded au #bucky x reader romance

[kyosohmastan]

Hello! I love your fics! Could you write a fic where tohru is lusting after kyo in his black button down shirt? Thank you!

Can’t pass this up! I think she would think he’s handsome in that shirt. ;-; I included this in a smut challenge I’m doing although this one doesn’t have actual smut but the prompt was kissing so there’s a lot of kisses. It takes place right after his date with Kagura where Tohru is more aware of her feelings for him. You can find my one shot collection for the challenge here. Hope you enjoy this~

Rating: T

Words: 2,247

Faint patters of footsteps came from the kitchen and towards me. It had to be him, and I tried to steady my racing heart as I turned, my mouth full as I said, “Welcome back. Would you like dinner?” All the while, awestruck by him more than I typically was.

I’ve never seen him in that color before. He had on a black dress shirt that somehow made him more mature instead of boyish. He had been growing lately without the shirt's doing. But he appeared even more so with it.

I swallowed, trying not to visibly ogle him. I couldn’t when I was more concerned over the solemn expression he had. What had happened on his outing with Kagura? Perhaps he confessed his love to her and got rejected. My chest hurt at the idea of him being in love with her all this time because I...had wanted him for myself. Why couldn’t I just admit it to him?

“Don’t need any,” he said simply, turning and heading up the stairs.

“Um...okay,” I said, the disappointment evident in my delivery. I never wanted to see him down. No...he’d looked more upset since we got back from the beach house, way before his date with Kagura-san. Something was weighing on him so heavily. I wanted to release him from it.

I turned back to the others. Yuki-kun was narrowing his eyes as he watched Kyo-kun leave. “Don’t worry, Honda-san. He gets in these moods. Don’t let it concern you.”

I couldn’t not worry. I didn’t want to leave him alone, even if he wanted to be by himself. But I didn’t want to pry either. What could I do to help him anyway?

I continued to eat, but my stomach was in knots. I almost wanted to cough each bite back up.

Shigure-san and Yuki-kun wished me goodnight shortly after dinner. I stayed behind and cleaned up, doing it quicker than usual. I just had to see him.

I tip-toed up the stairs, then reached his door. I raised my arm to knock on it, pausing to rethink everything. However, my intuition told me to go to him. I gathered my courage and knocked. He opened the door relatively quickly. Maybe somehow, he was eager to see me. Or maybe I was wishfully thinking.

My eyes met his chest, that black shirt, then traveled to his beautiful face. I had planned out in my head what I was going to say. I was simply going to ask if he was alright. But words failed me. My mouth gaped as I took him in in the pitchest shade of black. He needed to wear that often.

His brow quirked. “Did you break?”

“Um..” I finally said. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t expect you to answer that quickly. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You seemed really depressed when you came in.”

He sighed through his nose. And I wondered if he’d sound like that if I’d-

“I’m fine,” he answered. “I don’t want you to worry about something that isn’t an issue in the first place.” He stepped aside, and I came into his room.

I had my doubts. He hadn’t seemed fine in a really long time. “Are you sure? I want to do what I can to help you.” The room was lit only by the lamp on his desk. It was rather dim. It made the dark of his shirt stand out more and, in return, his skin seemed bright in contrast. He looked like autumn cursed him, in the way his orange hair turned auburn in the lighting. How had I not noticed how vibrant he was? The colors that made him was something I’d never seen on anyone else. It was entirely him.

“I’m...good.” He shut the door, turning to me and examining my intuitive stare. “Tohru?”

“I’m sorry.” If I was freaking him out with my stares, I wouldn’t be surprised. “Um..that shirt?”

He shook his head once when I didn’t say anything more. “What about it?”

“You look...very handsome in it. I love the color on you.”

His nose scrunched. That wasn’t the reaction I’d been hoping for. But when he made a brief laugh, relief flooded me. “Are you sure you’re not the one who’s not okay?” He patted my head as he moved over to his futon, gracefully landing on it.

“Oh, I’m fine!” He was probably joking. I should have known. I followed, sitting a few feet beside him.

“Good.” He looked down, resting his arms on his bent knees. “As long as you’re okay, I’m fine too.”

How was that so? How could I impact him that much? “But you know, you can talk to me if something’s troubling you. Ever since we got back from vacation, you’ve seemed very down.”

His timid smile faded away. I was aware I was digging in too deep and pushing him out of his comfort zone. But I cared too much to let it go.

“There’s just some things on my mind that I shouldn’t tell you.”

I began to wonder...was it his confinement? I’d pushed the thought out of my mind, not wanting to consider it because it brought myself down. But I couldn’t ignore that it was a possibility for him. I wouldn’t let it happen.

“I know about your future, Kyo-kun. What’s going to happen…”

He sat up straight so fast, the futon quaked. “How? Akito-?”

“Yes,” I said regretfully. “If that’s what’s bothering you, I understand. But I want you to know that I’m going to try to stop it from happening.”

He shook his head instantly. “Don’t concern yourself over it. Besides, I’m struggling over more than that.”

More than being imprisoned forever? “What do you mean?”

He raked his hand through his hair, limply grabbing at the strands. “I shouldn’t tell you. Not when my future is set and we’ll be separated.”

“Kyo-kun,” I mumbled helplessly. “Your future isn’t set if I can stop it.”

“I don’t want you to,” he snapped. The reaction made me inch back. “I don’t want you to waste your time with that. You have yourself to think about. You need to focus on graduation.”

“No. I’m not as important as making sure you don’t get locked up because…” There was no way I could exit this conversation without spilling the truth. I dug myself into this. “There’s nothing more important as keeping you with me. I can’t lose you.”

His eyes lightened from their darkness. That hit a nerve. If it was in any way other than a good thing, then I was going to break. “Do you hear yourself? What about your mom.”

“She’s still important but things are changing.” When I thought they never would. But I know I have to live in the present and right then, Kyo-kun was with me. “The only thing I need to keep me whole is you. It would wreck me if you went away. I wouldn’t be able to stand it.”

There was a wonder on him as he looked to me like he’s reading a dense history book. But I was laying it all out there. What more was there to uncover? “You can’t love-” He cut himself off and shook his head. “I’ve done things that would make you change your mind.”

“That’s impossible,” I insist, scooting an inch closer to him while he leaned back. “Nothing you do could change my mind. What is it that you think would?”

He looked as he did when I found him in the forest, curled up, hugging himself as if he desperately needed someone to hold him, to shield him from whatever he’s seen. “I can’t tell you...not yet.”

That wasn’t what was important right now. Because it wouldn’t change my mind either way. “I love you, Kyo-kun,” I whispered, cautiously putting my hand on his knee.

He closes his eyes and turns his head from the wall and away from me. “I’m not supposed to be loved.”

I felt myself bolden. I had to if I was going to attempt to get through to him. I grabbed the collar of that black shirt and gently tugged to get him to look at me. “No. That's not true. I can’t help that I love you. And you deserve it. Everyone deserves love.”

He made himself look to me, and I settled back down again at his comforting gaze. “I can’t accept that. Even if... I love you too.”

My cheek went wet, and it wasn’t until then that I noticed I was crying. Despite his resistance, he wiped away my tears with his thumbs, holding my cheeks.

I grasped his wrist, the one he wore the rosary on, and my fingers memorized each of the beads. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” He was so close...just enough for me to lean over an inch and touch. I wouldn’t mind going as far as we could while my emotions were at an impeccable high.

My other hand pushed half of his bangs back, itching to touch some part of him. Finally, as if it had been years, he smiled.

I blinked away my tears and smiled back. Whatever he said, whether he was resistant, his actions spoke different. And I chose to listen to them. I took a leap and leaned forward, pressing my lips to the corner of his. I tried to gather up courage to give him what I really wanted. But as always, he had more of that than I did when it came to this type of thing. He always did initiate everything.

He kissed me fully. It was only the lightest press, but it was up to me to take it further. Now that we were there, I had more motivation to return it full force. I tangled my fingers into his hair and took his bottom lip between my teeth, albeit timidly. Was this something he was into? I initially thought maybe he didn’t want me to go so rough. But he didn’t falter as he kissed me again. I closed my eyes, inching back as I felt him move forward, and I laid down. I reached up to make sure he was still there even though I felt his lips on mine. I also had to feel him with my hands.

I held onto his hips, inching my hands up until I felt the skin under his shirt, and the ridges of muscle on his abdomen as I felt up. Wow, I was feeling him up. I still had to wonder if this was okay, but he didn’t pull back.

He returned the gesture, stroking the exposed skin on my hipbone with his thumb. There was a tingle in the pit of my stomach unlike anything I felt before. I wanted the ache to go away, but how could I ask? With something as serious as that, I couldn’t be sure if it was the right time. No, at that moment, his kiss was enough. The way he felt me with his cautious fingers was enough.

I tilted my head back, parting my lips to feel his tongue. He swept it along mine, mapping out each inch of it. For just a few moments, I was able to forget the possibility of him being taken from me. I had him for those few minutes only, and I cherished them.

But, sadly, we had to breathe. He parted and hoisted himself over me. I was rather pleased to see his lips so swollen.

He tilted his head. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

My cheeks heated. “It just came to me.”

He sat up, bonking my head with his fist as I rose up with him. “No, you probably get it from those romance movies you like to watch.”

“Yes,” I giggled. “I probably did. But it came to me naturally because I love you so much.”

He blushed right back at me. I stroked that red cheek. “You’re so...deserving of my love, Kyo-kun. Don’t think different.”

His smile was small. He still didn’t fully believe it. I’d keep saying it, repeating it like a chant until he did. “Okay, okay. I don’t mind it...telling me you love me. I love you so much, Tohru. I didn’t know so much pain would come with that feeling.”

I stood, pulling him up with me by his hands. I threaded my fingers through his. “It doesn’t have to hurt if you open yourself up to it.” I kissed him again, briefly this time. It was getting late.

“We’ll see,” he said, his smile dropping again. “I don’t know what we are now…”

I didn’t know myself. But I knew I didn’t want to be just friends. “We don’t have to label anything,” I said, begrudgingly making my way to the door. “But you have me, either way.”

In a gentle whisper, he replied, "I want you to be mine."

I’ve always wanted to hear that from him. I wanted that to be the last thing I heard from him tonight, so I kissed him before he could say more. He returned it so lovingly. I wanted to melt in it forever.

“Goodnight,” I whispered against his lips, leaving quietly. Only then did it register that I’d had my first kiss, but I wouldn’t let it be the last from him.

#fruits basket #furuba #kyo sohma #Tohru Honda #fruits basket fanfic #fruits basket fanfiction #fruba #kyoru #fruits basket spoilers

[kinetic-elaboration]

April 14: 2x15 The Trouble with Tribbles

Back to watching TOS on Wednesdays! We’ll see if I can keep this up because I do prefer it to Fridays.

Today’s episode: the Classic (tm) Trouble with Tribbles.

Starting out with a little test for Chekov lol. Just Chekov, his mentor, and his mentor-in-law.

My mom called Chekov “Kirk and Spock’s little project,” which I think is hilarious but also probably true. Only 22 years old and on the bridge crew? Private quiz by the top two people on the ship? Legit interpretation.

“It was just a little joke.” / “Extremely little, Ensign.” Classic Spock burn.

The Organian Peace Treaty--from Errand of Mercy??

I really do feel like Kirk is genuinely amused by Chekov.

You would never guess from this intro about tense diplomatic situations and number-one-top-priority-triple-red-alerts that this was going to be a crack-y episode about space bunnies.

Oh no, a fake red alert! Kirk is really angry now.

Kirk and Spock are very Married today.

STORAGE COMPARTMENTS?? StOrAgE cOmPaRtmEnTs?

WHEAT??

Do not try to imply that Spock doesn’t know things; he is contractually obligated to show off.

Canadian wheat.

Honestly, just let Kirk call it wheat.

Spock is using diplomacy to reign Kirk in. Sarek would be proud. And Spock would be insulted that Sarek is proud.

Kirk is very Sassy today.

Omg the waitresses have little wings.

Spock taking the wheat from behind his back and giving it to Kirk like a magician’s assistant.

I feel like Kirk is bitter about the wheat because it’s the one (1) thing he’s not a nerd about. And he’s from Iowa too!! He should know!

Uhura listening to the salesman; well she IS here to shop, after all.

Is it alive? Is it cute? Oh who am I kidding, I can see it’s cute!

Oh no the tribble is eating the grain.

Uhura is truly adorable.

I can’t believe she just made a joke about never getting any shore leave and here she is, back at her station again.

Can you even imagine AOS Kirk being tasked with protecting a bunch of grain? HE would make Iowa jokes.

And Spock is trying so hard not to laugh.

Tbh I have a real soft spot for these frustrated Kirk episodes. Poor, long-suffering Kirk. So much more serious than all of the nonsense going on around him.

I like this space station design.

Klingons on shore leave. They just want to have some fun. No bowling alleys on their ships!

Technical journal time for Scotty!

“I am immune to their effect....” Sure. What’s funny to me is that Kirk actually is immune to their effect. Truly at no point does he seem charmed or amused by or even interested in the tribbles, except in their capacity as Klingon detectors at the end

“I think they’re old enough [to be adopted].” Lol how can you tell?

One look from Spock reigns Kirk in. #spacehusbands

Oh, you noticed there are 11 tribbles instead of 1? How astute.

“What do you get when you feed a tribble too much?” / “A fat tribble.” This is ACTUAL DIALOGUE. Oh, Kirk.

Honestly McCoy is a medical doctor, so it kind of would make more sense for Spock to be doing these tribble experiments but he has his hands full with Kirk

Kirk is awfully insistent upon Scotty taking shore leave when he should very well remember what happened last time

“You’d think he’d be a vodka man.” And he is!

Klingons don’t understand Kirk at all. He IS a little soft <3

Where’s that post that’s like ‘the AOS writers just listened to this one Klingon speech about Kirk and wrote his character based on that?” I mean... not totally inaccurate.

Actually it is a potentially interesting speech. Is this really how his enemies see him based on his reputation? Or is it just, like, a bunch of generic insults you could apply to pretty much any captain of a group you didn’t like?

Poor Kirk, missing out on this fight scene.

Lol the drink joke. Does it make sense? No, but it’s funny all the same.

“Captain’s log: I am forced to cancel shore leave.”

Angry Daddy!Kirk and his unhelpful children. You’re ALL grounded!!

“No this is not off the record!” Not even gonna debate that Scotty.

This whole Kirk and Scotty scene deserves an Emmy.

Spones + Tribbles

The extra hilarious thing about Spock talking about the uselessness of the tribbles and Bones defending their cuteness as being an end in and of itself is that Spock DOES canonically like soft, pleasing animals. Even in this episode!!

The tribble wants to be captain.

Kirk collecting tribbles lmao.

“Don’t look at me, it’s the tribbles that are breeding.”

The tribbles are bisexual. Just like Captain Kirk. (Yes this is two different uses of the term that mean totally different things and I do NOT care I just like hearing the word “bisexual” in DeForest Kelley’s voice.)

I feel like Uhura must be so lonely.. Trying to talk to Spock about the moon. Meeting shape shifting aliens who become native Swahili speakers just for her. Trying to buy love in the form of small, cute animals.

The tribbles have been taken from their predator-filled environment. I am VERY curious about their native environment now. What eats tribbles?

“It’s you I take lightly.” Honestly this level of sass almost makes AOS Kirk seem IC.

“Licensed asteroid locator and prospector.” Brb changing careers.

“But he is after my grain!”

Kirk saying “au revoir” is funny on its face for how he echoes Cyrano what’s-his-face but also because it reminds me of Shatner saying “I’m from Canada, so I speak French.”

No, the tribbles got in his food! That is the last straw.

It’s hard to tell because it’s covered in tribbles, but Spock appears to have a very odd looking salad. (Or that large piece of fruit is a tribble, really hard to tell.)

Spock’s “fascinating” was so quiet.

“They’re into the machinery all right.” First, lol, and second, isn’t Scotty supposed to be in his room thinking about what he’s done?

You can really see that missing finger.

Gonna beam down some tribbles too.

And now to top off this bad day: the indignity of having a bunch of dead tribbles fall on his head. To wacky music.

“Gorged? On my grain?” It’s more likely than you think.

And like........you realize someone off set is just continuing to throw little puff balls at Shatner's head at regular intervals during this whole scene? One just bounced right off it.

And the answer to the tribble problem is literally “stop feeding them” which is so obvious that I assumed it was just harder than one would think not to feed a tribble. Since no one fed them. And they continued to eat.

I also love how Bones comes into his best friend literally buried in tribbles and doesn’t even blink.

Whereas Spock’s here with his mouth this thinnest possible line, trying not to laugh.

They like Vulcans! They have good taste.

Spock is definitely that type that has secret low self esteem so he builds himself up with confident comments at every opportunity.

“He’s a Klingon, Jim.”

Kirk REALLY likes threatening the Klingons with tribbles.

I feel like leaving Cyrano to single-handedly clean up the tribbles over 17 years is not a punishment that makes sense because like... must the station live with the tribbles until then? Also, where is he to put them?

I think they should be returned to their native habitat to be eaten by predators according to the natural cycle of life.

Are we to understand that SPOCK suggested beaming the tribbles on to the Klingon ship? Perhaps I have underestimated his prank war abilities.

I’ll be honest, this ep is very entertaining and for that reason one of my favorites, but I don’t know that it paints the Enterprise, and Kirk in particular, in the best light.

Like... I am really torn on Kirk’s treatment of the undersecretary. I know he often doesn’t much like administrators and diplomats and other people who don’t seem to have much RL experience, and certainly this Federation official got on his bad side immediately and understandably by misusing the red alert.

But... Kirk isn’t at all subtle about not liking him. I mean he literally says “I don’t like you” and that’s just objectively unprofessional, which he is not. The sassiness was way unsubtle, which could be funny, but it just didn’t seem IC.

I can almost justify it because of the red alert mix up--that’s everything Kirk hates: violating regulations, showing disrespect to him and his crew, uncalled for manipulation--and I think he has the right to be upset about it. But he continues holding this grudge for a long time. It feels like it’s just as much about not personally caring about the grain as about anything else. Like he’s dismissive about the grain because he personally has never heard of it. So obviously it’s not important.

That’s too much that conventional-wisdom arrogant, dumb Kirk for me.

I guess I just don’t understand, why so much hatred for the undersecretary? Because his two biggest sins were the red alert and employing a Klingon. But as I already said, I think Kirk’s ire is disproportionate to the first offense and no one knew about the Klingon until the end--because a tribble, not Kirk specifically, found him out.

Otherwise..this guy was right! The grain was important, losing it or having it sabotaged would have very bad consequences for the Federation, it is Kirk’s job to guard it, and he should do it well. He was also right that the Klingon threat was real!! He’d brought in the Klingon threat but he was still right about it existing. The Klingons did in fact sabotage the grain! And although we hear at the end that there was magically more grain out there... I don’t get how or from where.

Furthermore, he used the red alert specifically because he seemed to think Kirk wouldn’t rush over to protect the grain otherwise, and Kirk is so dismissive of this “just wheat” that he kinda proves the guy right!

Anyway, I can see the grains of this Kirk (lol pun not intended) in his general characterization, but it’s too over the top, to the point where it’s OOC. He does take his job, including the diplomatic aspects of it, very seriously, and I think an IC Kirk would protect the grain, and maybe be only occasionally, subtly sassy to the undersecretary.

But this was such a crack-y episode overall... it was like everyone was turned up to 11 and pushed slightly to the side.

It was a fun ep though with a lot of very classic scenes, and it’s another reminder that Spock likes soft, adorable animals.

I will admit that I actually do not think the tribbles are particularly cute. They kind of weird me out. They’re just lumps of fur.

Next is The Gamesters of Triskelion, which I vaguely remember as a decent but not great episode.

#the year 2021 #2021: star trek #star trek tos #2021: fandom thoughts

[spam-monster]

Helsaweek 2020 Day 1: Swap

(or tumblr’s apparently being a butt but idgaf i’mma post this and head out)

I’ve done things like power swaps or gender swaps or kingdom swaps before (at least in my head), and I wanted to do something different this time, sooooo...introducing amount-of-siblings swap!

-----

In the beautiful kingdom of Arendelle, there were once thirteen fair princesses; although the kingdom had only ever seen two of them, for around the time the third was being carried the king and queen had suddenly closed the gates to the castle without warning. Stories were told, by the servants and traders who went in and out, of a group of perfectly normal, lovely girls. Yes, they all had their quirks, but none seemed to have any affliction that would justify hiding them away. Rumors were spread as well: questions of parentage, a hidden 14th child born with some terrible curse and locked away, a secret illness that affected only royalty…or perhaps something to do with the eldest child, Elsa, since she was almost never seen outside of her rooms.

But surely she was just engrossed in her studies, preparing herself to become the new queen after her parents had been lost. After all, the older townsfolk had met Elsa when she was younger, and she had been a perfectly normal, sweet young girl. Whatever had caused her parents cut themselves off from the kingdom, it surely had nothing to do with her…

---

“Alright, that’s enough! Dina, don’t play huntress with Frida’s Mr. Deer! Ingrid, stop trying to give Cathrine a makeover! Gunda, Hilda, stop fighting! Jorunn, we can go see the horses later! Klara, Linda…”

“You’re fine.” Brigitta says from behind her. “Now let’s all get ready for bed, we have a big day tomorrow.”

Anna sighs in relief, and mentally thanks Brigitta. At least one of her little sisters is acting responsible tonight.

“We want to make a good first impression on the peasants, after all.”

…Or maybe not.

“Yeah, c’mon. You don’t want them to get mad at us and rebel and drag us all to the guillotine.”

“Cathrine, no one is being guillotined tomorrow.”

“I’d like to see ‘em try!”

“Hilda, please don’t try to fight anyone.”

“…Will they even like us?”

“Linda, of course they will.”

“Why should we even care about Elsa’s coronation?”

Anna turned to Mathilde, the youngest of the thirteen sisters of Arendelle, slumped over on a couch looking bored. “Because she’s your big sister, and she’s going to be queen! We’ve all been waiting for this day for years, we need to support her-”

“Why should I care about someone I barely know?”

Anna flinched. “It’s true, that…Elsa hasn’t been around much lately…or spent much time with us…but I’m sure she’s just been…very busy! With…studying to be queen! And all!”

Mathilde glared. “That’s a lame excuse. She always ignores us.”

“She’s not…a bad person, really…”

“Yeah, I know, you always say you used to be “best friends” or whatever. But you’re the only one of us who’s ever seen her act like a real sister!”

Anna looked around, panicked, as most of the other girls began to nod and whisper in agreement.  

“She never talks to us.”

“She’s never played with us.”

“She rarely even comes down for dinner.”

“She left you alone.”

Anna turned to Klara, confused. “Left me alone?”

Klara looked at her sadly. “After mom and dad died. She left you to raise us all on your own.”

And Anna had no answer for that.

 -------

In the small kingdom known as the Southern Isles, there were once two princes. Although you might not have remembered at first, because the elder brother was so boisterous and dazzling that it was easy to forget the younger one even existed. Prince Torvald was remarkable; an accomplished hunter, a spectacular storyteller, able to charm even the most aloof noble, and sure he could be a bit boorish and egotistical at times, but he was a prince! It was to be expected, right?

“We should be grateful we even have a prince at all, let alone two.” People would whisper. “The poor queen had been trying for decades to bear the king a worthy heir, rest her soul.”

“Not sure the other one was worth her effort, though.” Others would grumble. “What’s his name…Hans? What has that one ever done that Prince Torvald didn’t do better? Well, at least we have a spare…”

---

“Is it not a fine day at sea, little brother? Clear skies, calm waters…and across the ocean, the quaint, little, unimportant country of Arendelle awaits the blessed presence of future King Torvald the Mighty!”

Hans tried very hard to suppress a sigh. *Arendelle is bigger than the Southern Isles* he grumbled under his breath.

“What was that?”

“If…Arendelle is so “unimportant”, as you say…why did you bother to come with me?”

“A King never passes up an opportunity to impress other rulers with his might! That’s a lesson you should remember…or not, I suppose.”

*Since I’ll never be a king, you mean*

“Also, I have heard tell that the future queen is quite beauteous. Perhaps she shall prove worthy of the honor of becoming my bride.”

*That was my plan, damn it!*

Torvald laughs obnoxiously and slaps Hans on the back, almost knocking him off his feet. “Fear not, little brother! I have also heard that she has many younger sisters! Perhaps one of them shall take pity on you!”

Sitron knickers at him in concern. Hans shakes it off. “Yes…perhaps. I – um, should go…check on the horses.”

Torvald laughs again and sends him off with another hearty slap. Hans sighs heavily as he tends to Sitron.

“I’m alright, boy.” He murmurs to the horse. “And who knows? Maybe the queen will be smart enough to see my brother for what he really is, and…who am I kidding? She’ll never look at me.”

-----

 (I imagine how this goes is that:

- Hans still meets and bonds with Anna but Torvald swoops in and grabs her attention away since Elsa is ignoring him (and he’s jealous Hans is getting attention for once)

- Elsa still freaks out and runs, Anna still goes after her by herself and leaves Torvald and Hans in charge, Torvald spends most of the time posturing and giving grandiose speeches while Hans actually works to take care of the people and ends up bonding with the other princesses as well

- at the castle Torvald makes Hans go in first and he actually has a conversation with Elsa and bonds with her

- in the end Torvald talks Hans into killing Elsa (because he doesn’t want to dirty his hands, plus then he can make Hans take the blame if things go bad), but Hans hesitates so Torvald tries to do it himself but Anna stops him

- Torvald gets sent back but Hans decides to stay (and clean up his brother’s mess), the sisters all basically adopt him as their new unofficial big brother alongside Kristoff, the end)

 Might expand on this later (like designing the new siblings, or maybe WRITING SOME ACTUAL HELSA IN INSTEAD OF JUST HINTING AT IT.)

Bios for the au siblings under the cut:

I basically just ran down the list of Norwegian girl names for this one (one from each of the first 13 letters that aren’t “a” or “e”), so let me throw out some basic entomology/character stuff for the swap siblings:

Brigitta: 3rd child, in this ‘verse Idunn was probably pregnant with her when the accident happened. Goes between helping Anna keep the younger ones in line and causing problems herself. Has a bit of a superiority complex regarding her status as a princess - acts like she must be better than everyone outside the gates, but really it’s a coping mechanism to help her deal with the isolation she feels. Name means “resolute, strength”.

Cathrine: Name possibly derives from the goddess of witchcraft Hectate, so she’s the spooky, playfully morbid one. Level-headed when she’s not creeping the younger ones out by joking about death. Dina is her younger twin.

Dina: Name comes from the goddess Diana; Roman equivalent to Artemis, goddess of the moon and hunts. She picked up her love of hunting from the hunters who would come and sell fresh meat to the castle cooks, and spend her time stalking the other girls (and their stuffed animals) and sneak-attacking them with her toy bow and arrows.

Frida: Name means “peace”.  A quiet nature-lover who hates conflict, which is ironic because she’s one of a set of triplets and the other two are the most aggressive of the bunch. Ends up being the target of the more aggressive girls a lot because she doesn’t want to fight back, and she’d rather they pick on her than one of the younger girls.

Gunda and Hilda: Names mean “war” and “battle” respectively, and they live up to them. The typical red-headed identical twin duo that’s always causing trouble (except they’re triplets and the other one doesn’t want to play along). Dina can either be their ally or their rival depending on the situation.

Ingrid: Name means “beautiful”- basically she’s the one obsessed with fancy clothes and trying to do everyone’s makeup.

Jorunn: Name means “horse lover” …yeah. Obsessed with horses, spends way too much time in the stables and comes back kinda smelly, biggest dream is to ride freely through the fields of Arendelle, possibly has headcanons of what breed of horse each of her family members would be (with accompanying fanart).

Klara: Name means “clear, bright”. Intelligent and honest, sometimes to a fault. Although she doesn’t like upsetting people, she won’t shy away from telling hard truths. Linda is her twin.

Linda: The most gentle and sensitive of the girls, easily stressed and has a hard time objecting to others because she doesn’t want to hurt their feelings. Gets along best with Frida, who tries to protect her from the more rambunctious girls. Name means “soft, mild”.

Mathilde: The youngest of the bunch. Acts out a lot because she knows she can get away with it. Her name means “battle strength”, and she lives up to it by being the most strong-willed and stubborn of the bunch.

 As for Hans’ older brother, he had to be really obnoxious to make up for the fact that there’s only one of him instead of twelve. Torvald means “Thor’s ruler”, and I basically based him off Thor at the beginning of his first movie (minus any of the good traits) – he’s brash, egotistical, and takes his little brother for granted. Unlike Thor, he’s also an emotionally abusive dirty coward with no respect for women or anyone he deems “weaker” than himself (which is pretty much everyone except his father).

(Even though Hans stays in Arendelle in this ‘verse, I think he might end up going back and becoming king of the Southern Isles someday just because I can easily see the kingdom deciding its sick of Torvald’s shit and kicking him out. Maybe he and Elsa end up in a long-distance thing, or they unite their kingdoms or something idk how this works.)

#helsa #helsa au #helsaweek #helsaweek2020 #frozen #frozen au #elsa #hans westergaard #prince hans

[baldrambo]

On Joyce Byers....

Joyce Byers is a bad ass.  So why is she handled with kid gloves by everyone?  This is a bit of a companion discussion to my Hopper post from a few weeks ago. Like my prior meta, I will discuss what I believe to be truths about Joyce and her arc, which don’t appear to be aligned with most analyses of her character that I’ve seen elsewhere. I will make 5 assertions and address each of them below the cut because (as per the norm) this got really long and I am not trying to clog up people’s dashboards.

Assertion 1: We have no canon evidence that Lonnie was physically abusive and making Joyce his victim does a disservice to her characterization

Assertion 2: What Bob represented to Joyce was more important to her arc than Bob himself (aka Bob/Joyce were not really a good match)

Assertion 3: Making fun of/being frustrated by Joyce’s magnet obsession misses the point of her arc in S3, which was about her pro-activity rather than reactivity

Assertion 4: Joyce inappropriately attempts to compartmentalize Hopper (aka Joyce needs to let Lonnie and Bob go if she’s to ever move on)

Assertion 5: Joyce is not a delicate cinnamon roll in need of our protection she is a BAMF and should be treated as such.

Assertion 1:

Our first introduction to Joyce is as a small, mousy, anxious, chain-smoking single mom who….can’t find her keys.  And not because she is is careless. She has literally SO much on her plate at any given moment that the location of her keys is trivial until it’s not.  She works long hours at a low-wage job to support her boys.  She really has no life outside of work, paying bills, and cleaning house.  Wash, rinse, repeat.  She is just barely scraping by. 

And yet we learn through flashbacks fairly quickly after Will’s disappearance that despite working long hours, despite the constant stress….she still manages to find time to parent her boys.  And not just be any old parent, mind you.  Joyce Byers is a good parent.  When Will is out in Castle Byers she doesn’t just barge in.  She respects his personal space, remembers a unique nerdy password, and waits for him to tell her that she can enter.  She then trusts his judgment when he says that he can handle watching Poltergeist. This is later juxtaposed by the scene in Nancy’s bedroom with Jonathan where Karen attempts to enter the bedroom after Nancy has had to lock it.  Jonathan looks at Nancy, a little shocked, and says “she doesn’t knock?” Which is weird to him, of course, because Joyce would always knock.  Now lets contrast Joyce, who is Mother of the Year, with Lonnie Byers who is a Grade A Piece of Shit™. He abandoned the family and hasn’t seen them in years.  And when he was around, he spent his time being a deadbeat, calling his son a faggot, and trying to force his boys into being “manlier” and more mainstream.

We first meet Lonnie in 1x2 when Jonathan drives out to Indianapolis to confirm that Will is in fact, not with his father.  When Lonnie’s girlfriend answers the door, Jonathan pushes past her and into the home, shouting for his brother.  Lonnie then comes in from outside, grabs Jonathan, and pushes him up against a wall.  Only then does he realize it’s his son.  Lonnie hadn’t seen Jonathan in so long that he almost didn’t recognize him, and initially thought him an intruder. Jonathan angrily shoves Lonnie back, who steps back and laughs. Notably, Jonathan does not appear to fear Lonnie and Lonnie makes no attempt to otherwise assert any other type of physical control over Jonathan. Lonnie talks to him like he’s an adult.

When Lonnie returns in 1x5 for Will’s funeral, he is an immediate negative influence who has Joyce up drinking all night, calls her crazy, and starts sniping at Jonathan about some stupid poster in his bedroom being inappropriate.  However, there is no real confrontation until Joyce finds the flyer in his belongings and realizes he is attempting to collect on Will’s “death.”  She screams at Lonnie and holds her ground when he shouts back.  She shoves him. She gets in his face and throws his bag at him.  And then little 5′2 Joyce Byers successfully throws a grown ass man out of her house.  He never raises a hand to her.

This is not a Lonnie Byers apology piece.  Lonnie Byers is a shitty dad, shitty partner, shitty person.  I think an entirely separate piece could be written on the emotional abuse of his boys (although in the 80′s Midwest much of that would be considered normal, but that’s another essay).  But there is nothing to suggest that Lonnie ever hit them, or Joyce.  If the Duffers wanted Lonnie to be physically abusive, they would make it obvious, no?

The most clear example of this? Neil Hargrove. When he enters Billy’s bedroom in 2x8, he has complete control.  Over Billy, his wife, the conversation.  He overtly strikes Billy, humiliates him, and it’s clear that Billy fears him.  Susan Hargrove also fears him, and she stands in the background for the entire confrontation, avoiding eye contact, saying nothing.  The only time she attempts to intercede is to diffuse the situation, diffuse Neil, when he commands that Billy apologize and quickly shuts up when it’s clear her efforts didn’t work.  She then exits the room, first allowing him to leave the room before her. The dynamics here are light years from Joyce/Lonnie/Jonathan.

Ok so.  Why am I bringing all of this up? Because, imo, turning Lonnie into a physical abuser cuts at the heart of Joyce’s characterization.  Joyce Byers is a fighter.  That’s what Bob loved about her.  “You fight back,” he told her, in a somewhat awestruck voice.  Joyce is not a Susan Hargrove. None of this is to suggest that Susan is to blame for what she has gone through, or that somehow Joyce is better for not being like her. I contrast them because the Duffer brothers do. Joyce will steamroll anyone and anything that gets in her way to protect her boys.  If she’s on a mission….if she is trying to save someone…watch out.  Making Lonnie a physical abuser so he can be a plot device, or because it makes it easier to hate and villainize him upsets the core of Joyce’s character. And it changes the entire show.

Assertion 2:

Much of Joyce’s inner strength shines through in S2.  When S2 begins, Joyce can’t leave Will’s side and still worries about him incessantly.  She’s overbearing and “struggles to function” whenever she is not with him.  She is forced to re-live the horrors of what her and her family went through every time she goes to Hawkins Lab and worse…she has to place her trust in the very same people who nearly ripped her family apart.  Yet, she doesn’t give up, she soldiers on for Jonathan and Will.  But so much like S1, S2 Joyce is helpless.  She is unable to control what is happening around her.  The events of S1-S2 make her reactionary, she gets dragged along by the plot instead of driving the plot.

But there is one bright spot of happiness for her…..Bob.  He is the exact opposite of Lonnie in every way.  He is kind, thoughtful, hardworking, honest, and trustworthy.  He put Joyce first, he tried to bond with and be a parent to Will and Jonathan. And he was willing to jump in to the fray when he had no idea what was going on to save her, save everyone despite being absolutely terrified.  Bob Newby. Superhero.

There are some early warning signs that perhaps….we as the audience are not supposed to view this as the perfect match? Jonathan, in particular, doesn’t seem to approve at all, in fact, it downright confuses him.  He confides in Will that he doesn’t understand what Joyce sees in him and later gets agitated when he learns that Bob has stayed the night.  Hopper, too, seems to struggle with it. And while a lot of that can probably be chalked up to the early signs of jealousy, his forced “I’m happy for you” appears to be at least somewhat tied to his inability to take her dating “Bob the Brain” seriously.  Why drop all these hints if it doesn’t mean anything?

It’s the conversation she has with Bob in 2x2 on Halloween that really cements Joyce’s arc and Bob’s central purpose.  While they’re dancing to Kenny Rogers, he starts prattling on about moving to Maine.  He’s in love with her, he knows being in Hawkins is hard for her.  So why not start over again and be a family? “We aren’t a normal family.” She tells Bob.  His response is simple: “It could be.” And that moment plants that seed for Joyce.  What if they COULD be a happy, nuclear family?  What if they COULD leave all that trauma behind them and finally find safety and security?  She starts thinking on it so much that by the end of S2 when Bob brings it up again, she’s all but ready. And the Duffers have confirmed, if Bob had survived she would have gone with him to Maine.

But here’s the thing: what if someone else besides Bob had planted the idea in her head? Would she have wanted it any less?  Or consider, was it really Bob himself that drove her desire, or was it always lying dormant there waiting to be activated?  If she had started dating Hopper after S1 instead and HE had been the one to make the suggestion, would she have desired it any less?  Did she really love Bob himself, or the idea of him?

It’s easy to romanticize Bob because he seemed perfect, he represented the happy ending that Joyce wants, that WE WANT for her, but here’s the thing.  There is no perfect guy.  You can’t move a few states away and leave behind Demogorgons and another dimension that nearly killed your son.  That stays with you wherever you go, and you have to face it and deal with it.  You can’t run away from trauma, and Joyce has to realize this.  Joyce is chasing a mirage. Perhaps Bob was kind of a mirage, too. 

Assertion 3:.

The Joyce we see at the end of s2 seems….like she’s going to be okay.  She has her boys, Hopper’s friendship.  She’s lost Bob but the Gate is closed now, everyone is safe (or so everyone thinks).  But then there’s S3 Joyce.  She’s lonely, isolated, sad, discontent, and restless.  The kids are trying to move on from the events of S1-S2.  But she’s unable to.  She’s unable to move on from Bob, from her fear that her boys could still be in danger, from the feeling that something is going to go horribly wrong again and she won’t be able to stop it. 

So Joyce preemptively reshapes her arc.  She decides she is going to put her own house on the market.  Bob may not be coming with her but goddammit she is going to move anyway and find safety somewhere else.  When she notices the magnets fall off the fridge she is not going to wait and see what happens, SHE is going to go research magnets and solenoids and weird science stuff she doesn’t understand and SHE is going to figure it out and SHE is going bring it to Hopper before shit hits the fan.  And when they call the military, SHE is not going to wait around for them to show up and save her kids.  She’s going to take action herself.

Thus, Joyce is driving much of the plot in S3, rather than being dragged along by the plot as she was in S1-S2.  She is not focusing all of her time and energy on Will and his safety, and reacting to where he is and what he’s doing, she is able to focus on Hopper, El, the Party, the bigger picture.  Will kept her focus narrowed, magnets expanded them.

And perhaps most significantly, the magnet obsession is what ultimately saved the day.  Joyce is the hero of S3.  Think about who saved the day in S1-S2.  Who were the heroes?  El and Hopper.  In S1, El sacrificed herself to kill the Demogorgon and save the Party and Hopper resuscitated Will.  In S2, El and Hopper closed the Gate.  In S3, who saved the day? El?  She had no power.  She wasn’t even the one fighting the Meat Flayer. Hopper?  He was trapped on the platform.  Who closed the Gate and killed the “Meat Flayer?”  Joyce.  By herself. This ended the threat, this stopped the “Meat Flayer,” this saved El and the Party.

I think it’s easy to miss all of this due to the tonal shift in S3, which added some silliness to the plot lines that didn’t exist in S1-S2.  On the surface, obsessing about magnets instead of your son seems ridiculous.  But this shift gave Joyce’s character a chance to breathe, a chance to grapple with her own feelings, what she wants, it gave her a chance to just be Joyce instead of Mom™.  So S3 is about her, instead of what is happening to her. 

And i think, ultimately, this tonal shift in S3 is what allowed that to happen.  If the circumstances in S3 were the same as S1-S2, then the Duffers wouldn’t have had this freedom.  If we want to see Joyce grow as a character, there has to be time and energy spent on her away from her kids and away from the same closed loop of S1-S2. Which brings me to my next point.

Assertion 4:

Jopper.  You can’t expect me to write this long ass meta on Joyce Byers and not talk about Hopper, right?

In early S3 there is obviously a marked shift in her relationship with Hopper.  There are no longer secrets (El) or other relationships (Bob) that they can use to hold each other at arm’s length anymore.  There are no other adults in town now who understand what they’ve been through.  Joyce is effectively co-parenting El with Hopper and it’s clear that he not only asks her for advice often but that they spend a lot of time together.  This did not happen between 1 and 2.  It’s made fairly clear upfront that Hopper is hopelessly in love with her, but what of Joyce?  She’s more difficult to read.  And this is due in large part to the fact that she is more complicated than Hopper and her feelings are more complicated than his.

I am not here to argue about whether I think Joyce loves Hopper.  This entire analysis is based on the assumption that she does because I think the Duffers and Winona have given us more than enough to go on to draw that conclusion.  What I AM here to argue, however, is that Joyce is still grappling with what she wants and (inappropriately so) is attempting to compartmentalize Hopper.

Adult relationships are complicated and particularly for a character like Joyce, who has been to Hell and back a few times, there is added complexity that has to be dealt with and worked through.  She’s been in prior relationships before.  She knows what it’s like to be in love and she’s felt the pain and grief that comes along with it.  She’s been divorced already, had a spouse that abandoned her, children  to prioritize over her own love life, and trauma stemming both from the events of 1983-1985 and separate from it.  Joyce, especially, is fresh off the train of losing a love interest who she got close to very quickly.  You can imagine her hesitation about leaping forwards again with someone else who could die.

There’s your backdrop for Joyce in S3.  Throw a healthy dollop of she has feelings for Hopper and then point blank ask her: “What do you want, Joyce?”  She could probably tell you that she wants to feel safe again.  That she wants to be free of the pain and grief of losing Bob and what happened in S1-S2.  If you really can get her to open up (or if you are a mind reader like Murray) you would also find out that she is still holding onto that desire to have a normal, happy family which includes a “nice guy to settle down with.”  The thing about Hopper is that he fulfills all of this for her, just messily.  Joyce is still looking for that coloring book of life to be filled in by an artist (Bob). Hopper fills it in like a 3 year old with disorganized scribbles that cover the picture but can’t quite stay in the lines.  Lonnie is easy: he never even filled in the lines to begin with.

Hopper shares personality traits with both Bob and Lonnie.  Like Bob, he makes her feel safe, she can trust him, she knows he cares about her, feels more than friendship for her.  But he’s also brash and loud and argumentative and after spending a decade of her life screaming with Lonnie….she doesn’t want that again.  He probably at times DOES “remind her of a bad relationship,” but Hopper is not Lonnie.  He respects her, treats her like an equal, trusts her judgment. But she can’t escape the constant comparisons.

And what I’ve seen from a lot of the fandom are the same attempts to shove Hopper into the “Lonnie” box or the “Bob” box that Joyce keeps trying to do.  S1-S2 Hopper is in the “Bob” box.  We like S1-S2 Hopper. But S3 Hopper, man.  He is in the “Lonnie” box.  He yells and stamps his feet.  This Hopper isn’t “good enough” for Joyce.

But here’s my radical proposition: Hopper IS good enough for Joyce if he is who she wants.  And he is what she wants.  But she needs to let Lonnie and Bob go first.

Lonnie and Bob still have a hold on her and if she is going to be able to take that leap forward with Hopper she needs to put their ghosts to rest.  She couldn’t save Bob, but maybe she can save Hopper.  Maybe Hopper isn’t perfect and has a temper, but that is ok because he loves her and respects her unlike Lonnie. I think if we see Joyce work through this in S4 and join her on her journey of making the decision to be with Hop and making that choice FOR HERSELF rather than the plot or some other force making that decision for her, the payout is gonna be huge.

Assertion 5:

Finally, I wanted to touch on the common theme of this whole analysis: that despite this inner strength, despite the growth and change her character has undergone, she is still largely handled by the ST fandom with kid gloves.  Like she is someone that can’t take care of herself, and who we need to step in and defend and protect against….the world.  Here are a few examples I’ve seen over and over:

1) Mischaracterizing S3 Hopper as an “abuser” that Joyce needs “protection” from, much like she needed “protection” from Lonnie. 

2) Attempting to turn Jonathan into her protector/her keeper.  

3) Defending her when she is in the wrong because she is Mom™ (see i.e. standing Hopper up for their date and being non-apologetic about it.)

4) Analyzing “what is best for Joyce” without thinking about her canon feelings or what SHE wants

As I dissected above, Joyce never needed protection from Lonnie. She doesn’t need protection from Hopper. Or anyone.  She doesn’t need Jonathan stepping in for her and she does not need us the fandom, to decide FOR her what she wants and what she can and cannot do.  All this does is, ultimately, build her arc around men and strip her of her agency as a character.

All the canon evidence suggests that she is a bad ass.  She curb stomps assholes on the regular and saves the day, multiple times.  So why is it next to impossible to find any discussion of Joyce that doesn’t involve complaints of what man (Duffer or otherwise) is wronging her at any moment?  Is it because it’s just easier to pidgeonhole characters, particularly female characters, into villain/oppressor and “the good guy?”  Because if we open her up into complexity outside of being our cinnamon roll mom we worry she could disappoint us? Because we cannot accept that a good female character doesn’t need protection?  What happens if Joyce is just a complex person who is both mom and badass? Focused on her kids and herself? Deserving of her own life and respect for her autonomy? Is both selfish and selfless?

Joyce, imo, has one of the most compelling arcs on the entire show.  We are introduced to her as a Mom who is barely holding it together already and then loses her son, sending her into a spiral that her inner strength alone carries her through.  After nearly losing her kid again, she loses her boyfriend horrifically, and just when she thinks they may have finally escaped it all permanently she has to single-handedly close the Gate, torching the only other man she loves in the process. So she packs her shit up and moves her family away from the danger.  She goes from the most reactive character on the show to, perhaps, the most proactive one.  

She may not have “powers,” she may not be able to effectively wield a gun, but she can knee an asshole in the crotch and that makes her a hero to me. I say let her be everything she is, allow her to explore her own wants even if they are imperfect, let her make mistakes and stand up for and protect herself, and let her be her own person outside of the character arcs of other male characters.

Andddddd end scene.

#joyce byers #jim hopper #jopper #jonathan byers #lonnie byers #thank you for coming to my long winded ted talk part 2 #aka joyce byers could beat my ass and i am here for it #also this got me all kinds of hype for s4 lemme tell you its gonna be JOYCES SEASON #anyway if you read this please give me your thoughts i love to hear what other people agree and disagree about #i get so wrapped up in these im sorry they're so long jfc #meta

[treacherous-dwarf-of-the-seas]

I had a lot of Thoughts about the Steven Universe Future finale

It’s exactly a month after its premiere, but I still have a lot of feelings and I wanna organize my thoughts a bit so I can have them somewhere, perhaps for any future ideas I may have. I think I’m just gonna list my thoughts on the 4 individual episodes, the finale (and season) as a whole, etc. Overall, I liked most of it, but I’m gonna get a bit su critical because although I absolutely loved many things about this finale, Oh boy. Some things I downright Did Not. Spoilers ahead I guess, this is a long one. 

This is my favorite part of the finale by far. To me, it did almost everything right.

I loved picking up right after Fractured, and Steven’s expression and body language, *chef’s kiss*

Poor Jasper gets killed *twice*

Homeworld looks so good! It’s all gardeny and disorganized in a good way.

Purple pearl?

SPINEL’S BACK!!!

Edgy theories that spinel and the diamonds were a disaster waiting to happen (I agreed with these) were wrong and this makes me happy. 

Steven’s reaction to Spinel kissing him? Was a tad strange//

SO GOOD to see Spinel being mentally healthy and happy and while still being herself.

The Diamonds! Actually working to better themselves!

I love the idea of diamond powers “working in reverse”. Like, Yellow diamond can change bodies and destabilize bodies, Blue can change emotions for better or worse, White can take over others or let others in. Honestly the idea that Pink/Rose could bring random plants to life and basically heal anything always struck me as so overpowered and random. The context that she was a goddess of destruction that changed into a goddess of creation makes the concept make a bit more sense to me, I appreciate that. 

I’m so ambivalent about Yellow’s scene. 

Like, its so satisfying to see. The thing that everybody (including me) was complaining about was that the diamonds’ redemption did not change the millennia of shattered, corrupted and amalgamated gems and suffering they had directly caused. Its very nice to see them putting their money with their mouths are. There’s acknowledgement that redemption isn’t just saying sorry and being less of a dick than you were before, it’s also correcting past wrongs and making it up to the people who were hurt.

However, I’m not totally sold on the idea of healing every shattered gem and the cluster. Like, I guess it makes sense considering a shatter is just a crack that’s been finished, and cracks in gems can be healed. But I don’t think it should be as easy as it is, and in any case, it just feels like it cheapens the impact of shattering, and even the forced fusions when they were so impactful in the original show. I wish the healing could still be done, but in a way that respects how awful and impactful the harm was.

I totally understand Steven in the Blue Diamond scene. I had had mental health problems where my mom had just offered drugs instead of talking to me or trying to help in a way that showed she cared about the issue, so this scene hit a bit hard.

Blue gets a song!

White, by far, my favorite scene in all of Future. 

Spinel White, no joke, gave me nightmares. 

The little moment of Steven yelling at himself for being a diamond is exactly what I wanted and I needed so much more of it. 

Triggered by everything White Diamond does. *chef’s kiss*. I especially love the little subtle moment of looking uncomfortable and pushing away white’s fingernails.  

Finally seeing similarities between Steven and White is canon, though I wish it was more explored. 

THE HALLUCINATION

Zach Callison is Intense(TM). This man always goes so hard and deserves mad respect.

TOO BAD.

Intrusive thoughts being represented in this way is amazing.

I still wonder if White knows what happened. Can she read thoughts in that state? 

He used White Diamond’s power to go into her body, and then while in her body, used her power of possession to take over his own body to puppet himself? I actually love the twistedness of this concept. It shows how twisted Steven himself has become. It’s so much about self-harm, while also not being self harm? vengeful thoughts, intrusive thoughts, anger, just everything. This moment could take all day to analyze, and I think it is way more thematically relevant to Steven’s internal struggle than the corruption.  

Love that the diamonds were still willing to help and only seemed concerned after how Steven was acting. They have changed!

Fairy tale imagery, noice.

This one is odd in the best way.

My favorite scenes in anything with supernatural beings is when they look at their own eyes in the mirror and realize that it’s not human or changed from what they should be. The way this scene played out was in a way I’ve only seen in fanfiction, and I am Here for it. The horror on Steven’s face when he’s looking at his own appearance is just wonderfully done. 

Very uncomfortable that there is an actual painting of Steven as an angel in his own room. I love how it ties into this episode, but I genuinely feel uncomfortable that he was thought of in that way at all. 

The flat out denial that he had just done the things he had done simply by virtue of who he is, I love the idea that “Steven Universe” has become more of a concept/symbol to him rather than being his own name. It reminds me of his concept of his mother and how her name is more of a symbol to Steven than a person. I just love the subtle parallel. 

I love the fact that “toxic positivity” is being explored in this show. I never really see it being discussed, and in a show so centered on being honest about emotions, no matter how painful they are, its so wonderful that the protagonist’s main character flaw is the exact opposite, to the point of being forcefully happy and smiling and actively ignoring things going wrong. It really strengthens the message by showing the opposite extreme.

I love the recontextualization that is present in suf. The criticisms of Steven being “too happy” during the cluster arc, being strangely positive after Lars’ death, etc. Although it was uncomfortable when those episodes came out and those events were all but ignored, I’m happy that it is being addressed as this culmination of madness in Steven, being so forcefully happy that its obvious that those episodes weren’t trying to ignore the problems, Steven was. 

I’m also happy to see a genuine “hero complex” in a protagonist. (usually the term is used incorrectly to mean “anyone who is a hero who works too hard.”

Steven talking to himself in typical protagonist fashion. 

The crystal gems staging an intervention, good shit.

“Steven’s here to help. Steven help. Help Steven.” Not subtle, but I’m always a slut for the glitchy messages. 

The confession of his crimes, love that we get to see the gems react to that. 

The whole monologue. Once again, Zach goes hard. I love the manic energy and still the ending is so raw and broken. 

“Oh, don't worry! I fixed that too! I can fix anything. I can just keep messing up and fixing things forever, and you'll never have to know or think about any of it! How messed up is that? That I've gotten away with this for so long. You have no idea how bad I am.”

 It honestly feels like some projection? (Idk something to do with that). It feels like hes a little put out by the things he learned in Homeworld Bound. Like, maybe he feels the same way I do? That the diamonds got off too easy? Maybe it’s simply that hes put out that they’re getting better and he seems to be getting worse. Maybe even, into the worst parts of his mom? I mean from his perspective, his mother had reverse character development and went, in his mind, from a goddess to a petty teenager, to an actual monster. How upsetting would it be to see the galactic dictators who got to live, do so many awful things, worse things than her, and just get to make everything better, to the point of total reversal of their crimes, while pink just ran away and left steven to deal with the mess.While he had to deal with the aftermath of EVERYTHING. Everyone seems to just be okay with the diamonds now, the monsters he feared for so long, so how come he has to be the bad one? How come he has to be like them now? Maybe it’s even coming back to his whole theory that he’s just a reincarnated version of his mom. (I know that he knows it isn’t true, but old fears and old habits can come back during a manic episode, and he spent a long time thinking that he was just there to clean up his mom’s mess and thinking that he was her in disguise.) If you look at what he’s saying, it’s a little strange that he’s talking about how bad he is and how he messes up and then fixes the stuff and no one has to know. It doesn’t even sound like he’s talking about himself, not really.

This sounds like a hysterical realization of what being a diamond means for steven. This is better explained in this post here :https://pennylogue.tumblr.com/post/613441610438590464/steven-is-a-diamond-and-thats-okay . Like, he is panicking that being a diamond means that he can just destroy everything and just fix it like the other diamonds. It’s terrifying that he can just destroy anything and hurt anybody, and people will still worship the ground he walks on just by virtue of who he is. (This isn’t true, obviously, but after what had just happened with jasper, a terrified mind would latch on to that.)  

 Dude, I could just go on all day this monologue is just fascinating. 

Love the parallel of Connie’s “backpack butterflies” and Steve’s back exploding. Its like a subtle way to show that the thoughts are “suddenly swarming.”

Oh god. I’ve gotta be honest. I hated this one. But I’ll start off with things I liked. 

The general concept is okay, but I feel like it is not thematically consistent, which I will get into later. 

The moment when the gems tell Greg to leave, and he stamps his foot down saying he needs to be with his son, I like that it is very apparent that his stomp makes almost no sound or impact, which really shows how different Steven is from him, aka, his separation from his own humanity that has been building up. 

Connie being amazing as always. 

“Yoo hoo! Steven! Is this a bad time?”

Spinel’s entire thing, from her reaction to seeing pink godzilla to her thinking that she is the main villain of steven’s story. It reminds me of Peridot’s “leader of the crystal gems, traitor to homeworld” thing and it makes me so happy. 

“WHy is something like this always happening when we show up for a visit?” 

The ending. Jesus. Zach always goes so hard I don’t doubt he was actually sobbing. I wish I could have cried during this moment. 

I respect the message, that it’s not about fixing it, it’s about being there for the person struggling, and Steven wasn’t cured, he finally hit a breaking point. I understand that the problem was not “solved with a hug” as so many say.

I love that before I saw the episode I saw pics of Garnet being as big as the kaiju and actually said to myself, “Wow the heights really ARE inconsistent.”

I don’t like that Connie included herself as one of the people that depend on Steven. They are the healthiest relationship in the entire show and Connie is always there for Steven? sometimes even more than he can be there for her? Where is this coming from? She has literally always been there. Her calling everyone out did clear my skin and water my crops though. 

Also, where is Connie’s emotional resolution? Didn’ she go through alot of the same trauma as Steven?

I don’t think it’s unreasonable that a diamond, Steven, could corrupt themselves. It’s not necessarily a bad ending to have Steven be corrupted into a giant monster. However, I don’t think it’s the ending that was really built up to. The only real build up was the presence of “Wyrm boi” in the theme song, and that’s about it. It’s not as prevalent as eye symbolism and foreshadowing of someone (Steven or Connie) losing a hand or an eye.

The episode itself was 11 minutes long, and the monster was very underwhelming and way too quick. I feel like the emotions were too rushed, and although everyone else seemed to put in their emotional 2 cents, I feel as though Steven did not get the emotional climax that he really needed. 

Also why didn’t we have a sweet little moment of connection with Nephrite Jade/Centipeetle? Wouldn’t that have been such a bittersweet parallel? The whole “being there for Steven like he was there for us?” So where is she? 

There was so much imagery and thematic elements in both Steven Universe and Steven Universe Future, that did not build up to the kaiju monster in the way that it was.

The imagery with one eye, the eye patches, cat steven, the heterochromatic eyes with Onion’s doll, Cookie cat, split Steven, etc etc, most people have many many more examples. I feel like someone could have lost an eye, or maybe Steven could have had a corruption scar that left his eyes permanently heterochromatic. It also would have been thematically relevant to have Steven come out of this with more of a balance of his gem half and human half. This never really becomes relevant in “I Am My Monster.” His gem half turns him into a monster, his gem half helps him turn back. It’s nice that his gem and human family were there as support, but there was never a sense of balancing both sides of himself in the fact that they are there, as there are only two humans and mostly gems there, and this lack of balance and security with both parts of himself was one of the major themes throughout the series and one of the sources of Steven’s identity crisis. 

Connie is always a parallel to Pearls. Our Pearl and Pink Pearl. I wish something had come of that. (There are amazing comics that show her losing an eye like Pink Pearl, as it seemed to be foreshadowed in Open Book and Sworn to the Sword.)

This idea isn’t mine, but I’ve seen it done really well and I feel like it would have been a better ending than 10 minute godzilla monster. I wish I could have seen Steven split up again. I am personally fascinated with the otherworldly enigma that are Steven’s two halves, but I feel that that would have tied into the themes better and tied up more loose ends. By the end of the series, we don’t know Steven’s opinion on his mother, and last time we heard him mention her it was in a negative light. This is connected to Steven’s conflict within himself, his desire to understand his human side better, his fear of his power as a diamond, his insecurity and loneliness as a totally unique being. Homeworld Bound was the closest we got to seeing Steven talk to himself, and confront the two sides of himself. This was also the closest we’ve seen Steven come to being honest with the diamonds about how he really sees them. However, this ended with Steven hurting himself, (wanting to hurt White was a response to trauma as well as symbolically confronting his own diamond self), and running away. We never get to see the resolution to that conversation. We never see Steven accept that he is a diamond and that it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Furthermore, Rose Quartz/Pink Diamond is not resolved. The negative character development took a huge toll on her character. Not only does the audience think of her as a terrible person, but the characters also forget her positive character development after hearing about all the mistakes of the past. Rose/Pink’s redemption arc still happened. I think it would have been fitting to remind us here, like all the other diamonds get their moment in this special. I feel like having Steven split up would tie up these loose ends. It would be a dramatic ending while also being a way for Steven to confront these issues within himself in a grounded way, while also making genuine peace with Pink Diamond. We could have Steven talking to himself, maybe starting out the way he did with White in Homeworld Bound, then steadily coming to terms with the sides of himself that he is afraid of, maybe how both sides help each other, how Pink Diamond is not a symbol of all that is wrong in his life, but just a person with flaws who was able to be better, like he can be better, too. This was touched on a little in Change Your Mind, but I would love to see Steven’s thoughts on Pink after the events of Fractured and Homeworld Bound, as there has to be some difference in perspective there. I feel that if Steven split into his components, these themes and ideas could be explored more and we could have a better climatic resolution for Steven’s character arc.  Even if Steven came out with no scars, even with both his eyes, the imagery and thematic elements would still be satisfactorily resolved if we got to see the two halves of Steven actually talk to each other. This also explains it better. https://scatterpatter.tumblr.com/post/615024679798915072/hmmmm-okay-so-i-just-watched-one-of-those-rose

Btw, if anybody has fanfiction recs with this concept, please hmu. 

I think I hate the kaiju ending because it seemed like such a waste of potential and didn’t really resolve any conflict besides functioning as a sort of breakdown.

The Future. aka: Welcome to another episode of Crying Breakfast Friends!

Boogle

The cookie cat rap. Pearl obviously kills it because she’s awesome and I was dying the entire time. 

Steven/Therapy is canon!

I like that Steven puts up a poster of Kerry Moonbeam in his room that he’s giving to his dad. It’s like he’s made peace with the whole “mr. universe thing” and it makes me happy to see that he’s not holding it against his dad or even avoiding the subject. 

I appreciate alot of little moments with the family while it still lasts.

It is genuinely like watching Crying Breakfast Friends. 

Steven gets to be “petty” with his emotions! He is finally honest with his family. I do appreciate the subtle resolution to his character arc (despite my opinions of the climax).

My favorite thing about Steven and Connie is that the fact that they are “canon” has basically always been true. Like, they’ve always loved eachother as best friends and they still do, it’s just that they get to kiss now. I absolutely love that its not a huge dramatic thing, its just Steven and Connie and they are otp for life. 

The fanfic potential is strong with this one. 

I wish I could have seen a therapy session or at least meeting the therapist. Maybe Steven walking into the office with his family behind him and its a moment of doing the first steps toward getting better.

But as is, this one is fine. 

Love the idea of a road trip with our little weirdo interacting with normies. 

Time to hit up Gravity Falls, lmao. 

TLDR:, the finale was good, but I did not particularly care for the climax. I am genuinely sad to see this show go. I was not a fan until I was already 18, but even after 5 years this show has taught me so much about self love, acceptance, tolerance, emotional honesty, etc. (I’ll probably do another post about it because holy shit this is long.) But this season, or epilogue series, has gotten me through such a difficult time in my life that is still happening, and has given me the tools to get through it. I sympathize with Steven so much, and I know alot of other people did too. It was so nice to be part of a community that just adopted this feral child. Some of future was rushed and of course it wasn’t perfect, but I greatly respect what it was doing. Bringing up PTSD and mental illness in this way in something like this was not something I was prepared for, even in this show, and I certainly couldn’t have imagined it even 5 years ago. Even with its missteps, this show took so many risks and was so incredibly detailed and it was obvious that it was made with alot of love and the fans in mind. I criticize because I love this show and while I feel it is necessary to acknowledge its flaws, I have so much love for the possibilities that this little world makes me dream of. These four episodes in particular was an emotional roller coaster and I am so sad to see it go, but I enjoyed the ride. Thank you, Crewniverse!

#steven universe #steven universe meta #steven universe finale #su #homeworld bound #everythings fine #corrupted steven #i am my monster #the future #steven universe future #pink diamond #connie maheswaran #long post #su critical i guess? if you squint

[the-hidden-writer]

A Second Chance: Chapter 5

An Ace Attorney fanfic. Read on both AO3 and FF.net!

Summary: Miles learns the identity of his “dead” mother, and the aftermath of that revelation is a tricky one. Especially when his newfound little sister is trying to turn him into a spirit medium.

AKA Miles is a Fey. Miles also doesn’t really know how to family properly.

[Chapter 1] | [Chapter 2] | [Chapter 3] | [Chapter 4]

Comments make my day! :D

The Promise

You’d assume, being a prosecutor, that one would get used to the atmosphere of a prison. Perhaps many do. Miles, however, doubted he ever could. Not when he knew that there were so many stories confined in its walls, many of them probably stories of injustice. It made him nauseous to think that he was so close to being in one of these himself.

If Phoenix Wright hadn’t intervened.

Waiting in a private visiting room, he couldn’t help but keep his gaze fixed on the ground. He couldn’t deny it- he was nervous to meet the man. They hadn’t really met each other before, but both unknowingly played a part in each other’s story, therefore it sort of felt like it was overdue.

The door on the other side of the glass finally clicked and opened. Miles looked up to see Diego Armando enter, clad in the black and white striped prison uniform with his head still held high. He was wearing his infamous visor, which he couldn’t help but feel relieved at. It was a special request from him that he be permitted to wear it during the visit, although he wasn’t sure if they would grant it. At least the man could see his expression when he told him the news.

“Miles Edgeworth,” Armando said as he slowly sat down in the chair on the other side of the glass (though somewhat visibly disorientated presumably due to suddenly being given his visor) with a small smile appearing on his face. His voice was deep and rough from misuse. “to what do I owe the pleasure?”

Miles cleared his throat. “Hello, Mr. Armando. I-”

“Stop shaking, Mr Prodigy. From what I’ve heard you’re no caffeine addict, so there’s no need to act like one.”

Had he been shaking?

In truth, Godot’s story hit a little too close to home for Miles, even before he knew that he had killed his mother. For one thing, to watch Phoenix Wright accuse a prosecutor in court is not something to be taken lightly. It was unheard of, until his own trial where the prosecutor was found guilty of killing his father. Manfred Von Karma. More recently, Diego Armando had been found guilty of killing Maya’s mother, coincidentally also with Phoenix acting as defence.

That man seemed to be a truth magnet.

After that trial, he’d gained a newfound sympathy for Maya. He’d never really known how to tell her properly, but losing a parent in that fashion is not an experience shared by many. Little did he know that they would soon have to both experience each other’s pain with the revelation that they were siblings.

And the white-haired man sitting behind the glass killed their mother. It was hard not to keep thinking of that.

He cleared his throat again. “I’m sure you’re aware of the Kurain Channeling Technique?”

Diego snorted. “Too well.” Was his curt reply.

“Well,” Miles continued, “after an important conversation with her, Mia Fey sent me here.”

Suddenly Armando stiffened, and his relaxed demeanor morphed into one of importance. His posture straightened, his shoulders tensed. It was almost comedic how the mention of one name could change his entire attitude. Almost.

“Why…” he whispered, perhaps to himself, “why isn’t she the one here?”

“Because the matter at hand doesn’t entirely concern her.” Miles responded honestly.

Armando didn’t reply. Miles took that as a signal to continue.

“She told me that you had once studied under my father, Gregory Edgeworth.”

Diego sighed. “I did, but not for long.” A wistful smile pulled at his lips. “The tricks he taught me lingered in my mind everywhere I went. I was young, reckless,” he stifled a humourless laugh, “and it took a lot of convincing to get him to take on a penniless runt like me.”

He turned his head towards him, and Miles could only assume that he was looking him in the eyes. All he got was the glare of the red visor.

“He caved in the end, if only because he wanted to practise on teaching a cub like me before he did it with his own son. Hmm, he talked about you all the time.”

“I see.”

“I taught everything he taught me to Mia, you know. She must’ve taught it to Phoenix Wright.” He laughed quietly. It was an unsettling, hollow sound. “That was probably what got me in the end. Good old Greg, always searching for justice, even from beyond the grave.”

He paused, and the smile faded. “He was a good man. Better than you or I could ever hope of being.”

Miles didn’t know what to say to that. He didn’t know many people who knew his dad, so any praise (even if it was coming from a murderer) was highly valued.

“I suppose,” Miles said, once he was sure that his voice wouldn’t break, “that you were the messenger between father and daughter then.”

He sucked in a breath and waited for a response. Even without the visor, Armando was good at hiding emotion. His expression was blank as he processed what he’d just been told.

“...You’re kidding.” He said eventually.

“No.”

“Ha… I always saw a piece of Greg in her. I guess that wasn’t just me after all.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

The realisation hit a little too late. Whatever emotional barrier Armando had built for himself suddenly shattered in an instant. His perfected neutral expression turned into one of horror.

“Hold on, are you Misty’s-”

“Yes.”

“So you’re their-”

“Biological brother, yes.”

“God…”

Armando forced a grin. “I ruined another life that day, huh?”

It took all of his effort for Miles not to say “yes” to that too. So he kept silent. It was Diego who spoke next.

“I’m not gonna waste my sins with an apology, because I would be lying to you. I’m not sorry for what I did, as much as I try to be... Regret? Sure, a bit I guess. But I would do it again. I orphaned you and your sister, there’s no changing that.”

To be honest, Miles was expecting an apology when he came in here. However, now he was glad he didn’t get one. He didn’t want to feel sympathy for this man.

He just wanted to leave.

“Thank you,” he said gruffly, “for saving my sister.”

With that, he abruptly rose and made his way to the door, knocking on it sharply thrice. He accomplished what he came to do, and kept his word. That was all.

“Edgeworth.”

He turned to look at Armando, who in that time had removed his visor to reveal white, glossy eyes and a long, deep scar between them. Diego wasn’t looking directly at him, instead was staring straight ahead into the glass. It was a haunting sight.

“Tell Mia… tell her thanks for sending you. And… I want to see her. Please.”

Damn it. Sympathy.

“I’ll consider it.”

And he left.

~._-_.~

Ring-ring. Ring-ring.

“Hello?”

“Mystic Soma! Hi!”

“Mystic Maya! How are you since last time?”

“A lot better. So much better! I’ve kinda come to accept that even though Mom’s gone, she got justice in the end. I didn't even really know her so…”

“I hardly remember her too, but my mother says she was an incredibly nice woman, so she’ll be happy when I tell her. You sound a lot better than last week, I was starting to get worried about your health. You do realize that you’re the mast-”

“Hey Soma, is Pearly around? I’ve got some really important news to tell her, and I just can’t wait!”

“Oh, yes she is. Is it good news or bad news? Should I stay with her?”

“It’s awesome news! But yeah, I think you should stick around. You can pretend you’re cleaning or something like you used to do with me.”

“I did not!”

“You’re a horrible liar.”

“And you’re imagining things. Hold on, I’ll get Pearly for you.”

“Thanks!”

“Pearl! Come over here, Mystic Maya wants to speak to you!”

“...Pearly?”

“H-hi Mystic Maya.”

“Oh Pearly, you’re not still sad over my mom, are you? Mystic Soma told me you were feeling better!”

“...I told her to say that.”

“Oh, Pearly.”

“I-I-I’m sorry! I d-didn’t want to make you s-sad...”

“Nonono, don’t cry! I have some really cool news!”

“R-Really? What is it?”

“I found out who my dad was, and I have a brother!”

“What? B-But Mystic Maya-”

“I know! But that’s not even the best part!”

“Wha-who…?”

“Pearly, you’ll never believe it, but Edgeworth’s my brother! He’s your cousin!! He’s a part of our family!!!”

“...h-huh?”

“Mr Edgeworth’s your big cousin, Pearly! And yes, it is the one you’re thinking of. Tall but not that tall, weird dark hair, always looks like he wants to slam his face into a wall? Him! He’s-”

“No!”

“Huh? Pearly?”

“NO!!!”

“What? Pearly, what-”

“Mystic Maya, what did you say?!”

“Mystic Soma, I-”

“I’ve got to go, Pearly’s really upset.”

“I don’t-”

Click!

“...I don’t know what I said.”

#ace attorney #miles edgeworth #godot #diego armando #maya fey #pearl fey #phoenix wright #a second chance

[inversenova]

Tales from the Cyrpt (3)

Growing up with Bob as a father was...difficult, to say the least. Having served in Vietnam, Bob was exposed to Agent Orange, not to mention the wide variety of traumas that accompany military action. As far as I know, Bob was in the air force; he does not often speak about his time in the military (at least, not to me; I have overheard a number of conversations between Bob and Soren, my ex-boyfriend still best-friend wherein Bob detailed some of his memories and time serving in the war). From what little I have been able to gather, Bob continues to struggle with memories of dropping bombs on civilians and targets and basically anyone and everyone the military told him to drop bombs on. Knowing this now as an adult, it is easy to see the effects that these traumas have had on him, not to mention the child abuse he suffered at the hands of his mother.

My grandma, his mother, was not a kind woman, even to my brother and I as children, and my memories of her are few and far between, intermixed with confusing instances of her watching us while my parents were gone. I still have strange memories of us being left in her care one evening while my parents went out gambling in Las Vegas, only to have her lock us in the bathroom, paranoid and raving about someone coming to get us. She was a thoroughly unpleasant woman who left a thoroughly unpleasant mark on Bob. I can only guess as to what she put Bob through based on how she treated my brother when he was sent there over the summers. I’m unsure why he was the only one sent; perhaps it was because, over time, she grew to care deeply for him in the twisted way she cared for people, Bob included, while my fear of her (and her intense dislike of me) only expanded over time to the point where the last time I saw her was when I was younger than 10 and, now, she is dead. My brother returned from his trips with a wild combination of stories. On at least some levels he seemed to enjoy being there, despite their lack of anything I would consider fun to do, and at least once he was returned home to us covered in bug bites with the explanation being that he “fell” into an anthill. Nevertheless, I was never upset not to be invited along on these yearly escapades. The grandparents that I was close to, and the grandmother I remain close to, are on my mother’s side.

Bob’s approach to child-rearing lay with the “spare the rod” mentality and I learned very quickly to avoid anything that upset him, no matter the apparent triviality of the action. Mostly I accomplished this by staying in my room, leaving the safety of its’ confined only when Bob was not around or if my mother was there. I tip-toed through the house, holding my breath when I thought he might be around, and generally did whatever I could to stay hidden. I feel that my need to shelter in place only grew when we moved to Texas or, at least, I do not have as strong of a memory of being as terrified to leave my room as I was after we moved. The move to Texas came shortly after my mom’s affair, although both of my parents point only to the rapidly increasing levels of debt that they were gathering that soon the business Bob owned could not compete with the monthly payments on the home in California.

Our time in California was, and is, a little difficult to pin down. I remember living in several houses in quick succession and, knowing that Bob is a perfectionist who will sit on the phone and speak to customer service regarding the TV he just purchased until he somehow manages to get a free set out of the conversation, this does not surprise me. Eventually we settled in a beautiful home where my brother and I had rooms that, if you were to hang a curtain, could have been two rooms. We shared a bathroom, which was...horrendous, as my brother’s level of cleanliness never compared to my own and although I’m uncertain if I have OCD, I know that things MUST be done in a certain way and he somehow managed to do them all in the exact wrong way, whether it was cleaning or decorating or even brushing his teeth. His side of the bathroom was like a science experiment, his sink filled with bowls and (at one point) urine that he sprayed with body spray in an attempt to hide the smell. When made the decision to move and had to spotlessly clean the home, I remember the horror that was the bathroom and the fury that was Bob as he screamed at us for losing the toilet paper roll dispenser and told us what terrible children we were for being so messy.

We lived in that home for several years; I’m fairly certain I went through 5th grade in that home but absolutely certain that we lived there during the years of junior high and half of freshman year of high school (which was when we moved to Texas). My time in California remains special to me, despite the trouble and pain of being there. Hopefully I will be able to talk more about some of the friends I made there, and some of the trouble I went through with school. But for now, I want to end this with one final, painful memory I started this post wanting to talk about.

As I have mentioned, Bob’s idea of child rearing often referred back to the “spare the rod” mentality. It did not take long for me to learn that being spanked was not something I liked, especially when we were told to find a switch or when Bob threatened to get the belt. I remember being swatted with a bare hand once or twice, and switched at least twice and that was enough for me to have a healthy, solid fear of Bob and his idea of punishment. I have always been physically sensitive; it does not take much to make me cry or incapacitate me (especially now with the Mystery Spot), and so these short instances remained burned in my memory, rearing up to remind me of the consequences should I choose to disobey. Aaron and I were often threatened with soap in the mouth if we talked back or used foul language and though I never experienced this myself, I remember at least twice walking past the room where my brother and parents were as they held him down, screaming and crying, to force different types of soap into his mouth. Secondhand pain worked well enough for me, and continues to do so now even as an adult.

I’m unsure of what trespass Aaron was guilty of one sunny day in our beautiful California home in the suburbs, although there is no possible thing Aaron could have done to have warranted his punishment that day (as well as others later on), but I think it was probably the first time, and definitely the last time, that I had tried to stop it. I was led out of the house, my mother holding my hand in an effort to guide me outside both as a comfort and as a statement: Not only was there nothing I could do to stop this, but she would not stop it either. Bob took off his belt, the favorite of his punishment tools, and I started to cry and scream, begging for him to stop, to leave Aaron alone, to not hurt him. I’m sure he must have told him to get me out of there because the next thing I knew I was sitting on the front porch step with my mother as she wrapped her arm around me, rocking us both, while my brother screamed and the sounds of a belt making contact with flesh echoed out through closed doors and over the sound of my own wailing. I’m unsure how long the event lasted, although it couldn’t have been more than five or ten minutes at most, but it felt like eons, my mother and I huddled together on the porch, her softly crying and me sobbing and having what I would guess now was a panic attack while Bob beat my brother.

I had never before felt so helpless. I’d never tried to stop Bob before, and sadly, I never did again. I regret that. I regret not doing more. I regret not somehow freeing myself from my mother and bursting through the door and rescuing him. And while it may not be entirely correct, I feel like there was a part of Aaron that may have blamed me too. Although he was my half-brother, both of us sharing a mother, I feel like when we moved from California it broke what bonds we may have tried to create. We were violent towards each other, Aaron and I, but when the violence comes from the person meant to protect you it is unsurprising that it is perpetuated amongst those who receive it. I will deal more with this, the fear I also held for Aaron, later.

For now, it is enough to reflect on my regret. I understand, because I have been told by people who are far wiser than me, that it was not my duty to protect my brother. It was not my responsibility to keep him somewhere safe, and it was not my duty to be a parent to my mother. It was not my fault that Bob hit his child enough that Sam, my biological father, warned my mother to keep Bob’s hands off of me, serving in whatever capacity he was able to as a distanced protector. And it was not my fault that Aaron begged my mother for Sam to be his father, too.

#TW: child abuse #TW: physical punishment #TW: violence #TW: trauma #I haven't cried this hard in a while #I hope that this will help down the path of healing #Tales from the Cyrpt

[mlmdarkfiction]

Chapter 2 of “Oh, Where Have You Been, Billy Boy?”

You reflect on your first day at work, and return for your second day where you have your first one on one interaction with the infamous Billy Lenz.

Taglist: @datenightfright

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There’s not much you can do on your first day of work, but it’s hard to do so with the presence of Mrs.Macatay. Cleaning up the patients themselves isn’t your job, but if the other nurses aren’t going to…

You come home from your first day at the new job incredibly frustrated, but more invigorated in your purpose than before.

Sergei’s still at work by the time you return home, and so you take a nice bath, soaking in the warm water while you reflect over your day. The conditions in that place where appalling for such a facility. You just keep thinking back to when you saw Billy’s bloodied nails and scratches, and his disheveled hair. It was disgraceful. Billy was the patient who stood out in your mind, because of everyone he was in the worse condition. It reflected in Mrs.Macatay’s disdain for the man as well.

You’re determined that tomorrow you’ll spend your time in between organizing the nurses stations and shifts to clean up some of the patients. Haircuts, shavings, and making sure that any wounds they have are disinfected and cleaned.

Slinking into the warm water you think more about the past. When you’d gotten the job you hadn’t realized Billy Lenz was going to be a patient. Everyone knew about what had happened, and it caused fear in Universities across the country.

Even classmates of your own had been frightened, and then there were the copycats.

You sink further into the water.

It was a bad time for everyone. +

Suddenly you’re in High School again, a fresh faced seventeen year old fresh on hormones, and making your way through the best (and worst) years of your life.  

The calls had started around Homecoming. Mid September, the Thursday before a football game.

You heard the ringing of the landline from your room. You’d been relaxing, listening to the radio while sketching in your notebook instead of working on your essay paper. At first you weren’t bothered. There was only one phone in your home, and you think both your parents would beat you silly if you brought up the phone bill too high.

That’s why you’re surprised when your mom answering the phone, followed immediately by the sound of her calling your name.

Immediately your first thought is that you’re in trouble for something at school, although you have no idea what it could be for, and despite your anxiety you call back down.

“Yeah Mum?”

“Phone! Hurry up and get down here! It’s some kid from your school!”

Although your confusion only mounts, you’re down the stairs in a flash though, not wanting to get in trouble. More so, you don’t know why or how someone from your school would be calling you.

“Don’t take too long now,”

Your mother passes the phone to you, giving you a swat on the back of the head before making her way back to the kitchen.

“Hello?” You hold the hard plastic to your ear, expecting to hear...at least something on the other end of the line, but instead...there’s nothing. No sound at all.

“Hel-Hello?” This time your voice breaks a little, having still not fully stopped changing thanks to your testosterone.

It’s now you get a response though. It’s slight. A sound like someone gasping on the other end of the phone, but no actual words.

“I’m going to hang up-” You warn, quickly growing annoyed with the caller, knowing it’d be your ass getting in trouble for their stupid prank call.

“Don’t!”

+

You practically jump out of your skin at the sound of your cell phone ringing. It scares you out of you memory, and you hiss at the overspill of water from your tub. Reaching across you grab the device, answering the phone.

“Hello?” “Hey babe? I’m going to be late home tonight.”

“Oh.”

It’s hard, but you try not to let your disappointment seep into your voice. Part of the reason you had quite your previous job as an extensive care nurse was the hope that the more stable hours would, eventually, lead to more time with your boyfriend.

Although not surprising, it is disappointing. Especially when Sergei had already promised to cook you dinner tonight.

“I’m sorry- I really am. Work is just...They need me here tonight.”

“I understand.”

You don’t. It sucks. You’re angry, but you’ve grown used to it, and used to being the bigger man in the relationship. “Can you at least order me take out? Since you can’t make dinner.”

“...I left my wallet at home.”

“Right. Fine, don’t worry about it.”

With a nice relaxing bath now ruined, you get out and dry off, afterwards ordering Chinese takeout from your favorite restaurant.

You deserve it. First day at a new job, boyfriend blowing you off, you deserve this. You deserve nice things.

You spend the night alone. Eating takeout, and watching a movie on TV until you’re tired, and then when you’re done heading to bed, where you, for the fourth night in a row, sleep alone.

When you wake up the next morning, Sergei is there, in bed. You don’t bother waking him. A mix between upset at him for canceling plans, and not wanting to listen to him try and dissuade you from your job as you go throw your morning routine.

He’s still asleep when you finally head out the door.

Going through security is much easier this time, now that you’ve done it twice and know what to expect. With your keys and wallet safely tucked away in the locker you finally get to start your day.

While going through medication files you find that Billy Lenz had been given a sedative the night before. However, despite the medication being listed on file there’s no incident report.

Surely there’s still a night nurse who’s yet to leave. It doesn’t take you long to find one, and call her to your office.

When she enters she looks tired, and annoyed. You don’t blame her. You’re sure she wants to go home and sleep, but if you’re going to implement changes in patient care you have to start now. There’s no room for slacking.

“Hi. I’m sorry,” You tell her, “this will just take a second I promise. I saw that last night someone administered Billy Lenz with a sedative, but there’s no incident report or anything saying why, and looking back previously it’s not listed as one of his regular medications. Do you know why he was given the medicine?”

Her expression doesn’t change.

“I don’t know why Lenz was given the medicine, or who it was who decided to give it to him. It should say in the report-” “Well it doesn’t.” You interrupt. “Because there is no report.”

“Then I can’t help you.”

“Right, well then, have a good day.” Forcing your most polite smile, you watch the woman go, waiting until she’s left your office before letting out a large sigh.

It’s doubtful she was lying to you, but you really wish she wouldn’t have had such an attitude. After a moment of just sitting in your office, thinking to yourself  

There’s no point in dwelling. The past is the past, but change starts now.

You get an empty cart together, fill it with the things you’ll need. Safety razors, scissors, a bowl of water, soap, and a few other essential cleanliness items. With everything ready you go to your first stop. Billy Lenz.

He needed it. You’d seen yesterday, the way his hair was tangled, and uncomfortable looking stubble. Not to mention, if he’s lucid enough, you may be able to ask him about what had transpired the night before that resulted in him being drugged.

Knocking on the door, unsurprisingly gets you know response. Based on the dosage listed on file, it’s likely he’s still asleep. With no response, you open the small hatch meant for food and other such small items to check. Billy is asleep, curled in the floor as he’d been the day before when you’d met him.

You wonder what it is with him and sleeping on the ground. Perhaps you’ll ask him.

“Billy?”

There’s no response, or shifting from the body.

Worried. With a sigh you open the heavy duty door. Billy still doesn’t seem awake. The only thing keeping you from completely panicking is the rising and falling of his chest, for a moment you were afraid that perhaps he’d had a reaction to the drug, but he’s breathing.

Slowly you make your way too him, the cart pressed towards the back of the room until you had him awake and fully present.

“Billy...I need you to wake up now Billy.” Hesitantly, you slowly reach out to shake him. It’s not the best idea. You’re not so much afraid of Billy but his reaction. He’s mentally ill, and you’re new, not only new but in his space. It’s a dangerous situation for you.

He freezes under your touch when you shake him, a good sign. He mumbles. You can not only hear the sound of it, although not able to actually make out what it is he’s saying, and feel the vibrations from his chest.

“Hi Billy.”

His eyes open slowly, and he stays frozen and stiff. First staring at you, and then his eyes wildly flicking around you.

“Do you remember me? I met you yesterday with Mrs.Macatay.” “Nursie…” His voice is hoarse, and quiet.

“That’s right Billy!”

You’re relieved he seems to recognize you. It’s a good sign, and means you likely won’t have to deal with any post medication confusion.

With some difficulty you set him up against the wall, and he lets you. Neither helping, nor hindering your process to sit him up.

“Here, let me get you a glass of water.”

You return to your cart you left by the door, grabbing a glass before going back to Billy’s side. He downs it immediately, almost choking in his hurry to drink down the water. Hesitantly you reach out, soothingly rubbing his back.

It’s against protocol really, you’re not supposed to be touching the patients outside of regular care needs, but you also don’t want him choking, and hopefully you’re ministrations will remind him to slow down and not suffocate.

“There you go, here, come on. I can get you another glass if you want?”

He doesn’t respond, fingers curled around the glass. Carefully you reach for it, hands placed over top of his own. They’re incredibly cold. You make a mental note to turn up the thermostat for his room.

Slowly you uncurl his fingers from around the glass. Taking it from him completely. When you’re moving to place the cup back on the cart, an icy hand reaches out grabbing your own.

It takes you off guard. Immediately you’re worried that he’s going to hurt you. You know the realization of the situation, of who Billy is.

“B-Billy?” Your voice cracked in fear.

He doesn’t let go of your hand, but he also doesn’t make any sudden moves. He starts to laugh, cackling almost, but it doesn’t gain in volume, he keeps it down under his breath. You’re frightened, and pull yourself free from Billy’s grasp. Once again he doesn’t fight you, letting you take your hand back, and only watching as you move towards the door and your cart.

“I’ll be back Billy, just-just stay there.”

The door slams behind you as you leave. It’s an accident, you don’t mean to slam it, but your anxiety is just too high.

You’ll take care of other patients first, and then come back, when you’re calmer, to cut Billy’s hair, and tend to his wounds.

#Billy Lenz #Black Christmas (1974) #black christmas #Slashers #slasher imagines #slasher x reader #slashers imagines #slashers x reader #slashers imagine #reader #reader insert #male reader #male reader insert #trans reader #Transman Reader #horror imagines #horror movie imagines #horror reader insert

[journeysintowebcomics]

Worm Liveblog #114

UPDATE 114: Simpler Times

Last time the Undersiders had managed to defeat Coil, and took over Brockton Bay as a result. Dinah is now safe, and all is well...until forty-five minutes later, when they found out Noelle has escaped her vault. Tattletale says that’s very bad. So let’s continue!

Ah, the arc ended, and it seems what follows isn’t an interlude, but a new arc. I’m surprised – while I thought it was possible the arc would continue for maybe one chapter more, I didn’t think this would go straight into the next one. Alright! So, the new arc is called Migration.

Oh, nevermind, this is an interlude, similar to the one with the Wards ages ago, I imagine. There’s a guy called Francis, who is getting scolded for leaving when family is coming over. This Francis person is making money with something his mother doesn’t approve, and he argues they’re on the verge of getting a sponsorship. Oh boy. ‘On the verge’ means it’s not certain. I hope this Francis guy isn’t gambling much on the possibility of a sponsorship. Given how he’s arguing with this as his cornerstone, he’ll be doomed if he doesn’t get the sponsorship.

It’s even worse when it’s revealed this Francis guy isn’t officially in the group yet. Oh dang, he really is gambling a lot. I for one hope it all works well, because otherwise he’s going to get a full serving of ‘I told you so’ from his mother.

That seems to be all. Having placated his mom, Francis walks with his luggage and gets on a bus, giddy he’s possibly annoying other people, and feels smugly superior to other people. Well that’s not an endearing character trait, is it. Still, someone having a bad trait is good, as long as it’s balanced with good traits! But yeah, who is this Francis guy, anyway?

Her face lit up as she saw him. He, in turn, snapped a smart salute. “Captain Noelle, ma’am!”

Oh, I see! I see now! So that’s Noelle...hmm...if Noelle is part of this gaming group, then that’d mean the Travelers are the members of this group. In which case this Francis is either Trickster or Ballistic. Most likely Trickster, I’d say. Alright!

Noelle doesn’t appreciate the playful greetings, coyly telling him to stop, and mentions they’re ‘probationary boyfriend and girlfriend’. So they’re a couple! I see. That’s why Trickster is so invested in Coil helping Noelle. I can sympathize with that, yep. During these outrageously saccharine public displays of affection, Marissa arrives. Mars. Sundancer, no?

I wonder if by now they all had their powers. Maybe they gathered as a gaming group because of their powers. Not that I can think of how they can use their powers. Making miniature suns sure isn’t going to help your gaming skills, unless you use that sun to melt the opponents’ systems, haha

There’s Luke, there’s Jess. Hmmm...by process of elimination, those must be Ballistic and Genesis – supposing Francis really is Trickster. They’re all together. Say, wasn’t there some guy named Oliver, who stayed in the headquarters while everyone else went and fought? I think there was someone with that name. That person hasn’t appeared yet here in this meeting.

Now that they’re all gathered, they can start their discussion for real. Noelle is in charge. Does that mean Trickster – leader of the Travelers – was the second in command, and had to take charge since Noelle can’t?

Apparently they have been discussing about kicking an average player out of the group, because he’s boring and doesn’t have as many fans. Francis, on the other hand, has so many fans – fans I imagine would be upset if he’s kicked out or something. If they’re a new team, then they’ll need as many fans as they can. Pragmatism dictates the person named Cody is kicked out. The emotional factor, though, is what’s giving them trouble. Cody is their friend and this will hurt him a lot.

Noelle nodded.  “Say what you will about Krouse, like how he’s crap when it comes to calling shots-”

“Hey.”

“Or even the fact that he’s prone to ignoring orders if he thinks it’ll help us.  Um, he’s right so long as it’s just him operating solo, but yeah… The thing is, if we’re talking about the big picture, international recognition and going head to head with the best in the world… Krouse has the natural ability to change things up, so we can adapt our strategies to whatever they’re able to pull off.”

Okay, that definitely is Trickster. Trickster’s pretty crap at calling shots, and adapts well enough during the fights. The main character point of view is Trickster’s.

To try to convince them he’s the right person to keep, Francis argues on his behalf, saying this Cody person can’t improve any further, while he can still play better and better. They can’t wait for Cody to improve; they have to act now.

“If you fuck this up for us, you know we’ll never let you live it down,” Luke said.

It’s not like they’ll lose a local tournament. If Francis screws up, they’ll lose boatloads of money and lucrative contracts. Many would think that warrants a little more than ‘never let you live it down’, hah.

Either way, Francis’ arguments were successful. Pretty much everyone agrees to kick Cody out and keep Francis. This can’t be easy to tell Cody, who will do it? Having decided it needed to be done now, they all walk towards the place Cody is at, and it’s decided Francis won’t be right there when Cody is given the boot. Yeah, good idea. It sure would hurt to be replaced and see the guy replacing you sitting right there.

Jess and Francis ride the elevator afterwards, Genesis noting Francis is rather nervous right now.

“The more overconfident you act, the more nervous you are.  And when you’re feeling down, you poke at people, provoke them.  I think you get some validation out of it, like, if you can test people and they’re still your friends after, you can feel confident in that friendship.”

Well, there’s also that Francis enjoys annoying people, apparently. I guess a lot of his behavior is all about needling and annoying other people.

I’m a bit baffled they keep saying Marissa can be a megabitch. She sure seemed like the person least likely to be abrasive towards other people. Maybe she’s the kind who yells into the voice chat.

As expected, Cody didn’t take it very well. They barely got off the elevator when they started hearing the yelling, Cody is accusing Francis of being a conniving prick who started dating Noelle after she was named captain. Hm. I don’t know, I don’t think he’d be that slimy. Francis is a hella unpleasant person, but is he that much of a jerk? I don’t think so.

There’s two people named Oliver and Chris. Ah, there’s Oliver. What’s Oliver’s role in all this? It doesn’t seem like he’s part of the gaming team, so...is he just a friend who tagged along? Is he with them all because he had a power and therefore fit in the Travelers, while Cody and Chris didn’t take part in that villain team because of the lack of powers? Or perhaps...perhaps Cody and Chris are dead? There’s not that many options as to what happened to them. For all I know, they just were left behind while the Travelers...traveled. It doesn’t have to be a sinister deal.

“Cody,” Noelle started, “We talked it over-”

“Without me!”

“Because we knew you’d react like this, and we wanted to be sure we all agreed before we moved ahead.”

“And I bet Krouse was there, wasn’t he?”

“He was.”

“Real fair.”

“He kept his mouth shut,” Noelle said.

Not exactly true, Krouse thought.

He’s got a point there, that wasn’t exactly fair. Francis got the chance to argue on his behalf, Cody didn’t get that courtesy. I don’t know, seems to me like they all had already strongly considered accepting Francis into the team, before the meeting started.

As expected, Cody is furious to see Francis here. He really shouldn’t have come. A few lines later, I’m proven wrong, he should be here. So, what’s happening is that they’re going to have one session right now. If Francis does awful, then he’s out and Cody stays. Obviously Cody wants to see Francis crash and burn. I think it’s a given what the result of this all will be.

“Here, Noelle,” Krouse said.  He set his luggage flat on the ground and unzipped it.  There were computers inside, each half the size of a regular desktop, wrapped in layers of towels and plastic sheeting.

“Thanks for the loan.  Don’t trust mine with the sheer amount of crap my cousin downloaded onto it.”

“Actually…” He trailed off, sticking his hands in his pockets.  “I took my old machine, I replaced the power supply, formatted it, installed a clean OS and done all my usual tricks for clearing out the crap that we’ll never use and optimizing it.  You can consider it an early Christmas present.”

Say, doing this right in front of Cody’s not going to make him stop thinking Francis is trying hard to get on Noelle’s good side to get the spot in the team.

What follows is largely paragraphs of stuff I’m not sure what to think about, because it’s them discussing their strategies to play the game. The only thing I can comment about is that Chris and Oliver are like the reserves, although neither of them are very good. Francis used to be one of them.

The strategizing stops when the building rumbles, and a blackout happens. They barely have time to wonder what’s going on and complain about the blackout when there’s a moment of weightlessness.

A heartbeat later, the windows were directly overhead, and he was falling.  He started to scream, but he managed only a monosyllabic, “Ah!” before he fell onto the side of the dining room table, tumbled to one side and slammed into the chairs, the wind knocked out of him.

It sounds like the room turned 90 degrees all of a sudden, fast enough for his body to not even feel how the floor tilts and everything goes topsy-turvy. Perhaps it’s the work of a villain?

Francis was lucky enough to be able to look around and get away from immediate danger, Noelle wasn’t so lucky. She crashed onto a chair, and then the computers fell on her. That’s got to hurt, those aren’t soft objects at all. There’s no word on how the rest are like, but they must currently be being pelted by objects. I hope they’re protecting their heads, but I’m kind of expecting a fracture or two.

Noelle is so hurt she’s bleeding from the nose and mouth, that sounds kind of like a concussion. I wonder if that affected anything in the present. But hey, you know what? All that’s happening right now is a good chance for trigger events, especially because soon it’s revealed Chris is dead. What about Cody, he okay?

Since the apartment has turned ninety degrees, leaving to a safe place is going to be rather difficult. Is this apartment the only thing that rotated? What’ll they see if they manage to get to the entrance door? Hmmm...also, what caused this? There’s a mention of a constant female scream. If it’s not one of the gals who are still awake and conscious, is it the parahuman who caused this to happen?

It takes a few minutes to be able to reunite with the rest, thanks to a knotted sheet. Francis manages to climb it even though he’s carrying Noelle, reaching the place with the rest. Chris had quite the gruesome death, but at least it sounds like it may have been instant. Everyone except Marissa is trying very hard not to look at it.

“We need a way out of here first.” Luke looked up at the windows, ten feet above their heads.  Neither the floor nor the ceiling offered anything to grip.

Since it’s a window that’s on what’s now the ceiling, and it seems like this apartment was on the top floor, it’d give them access to the very top of the building, no? Hm...that’d be almost impossible to go down from, unless what turned ninety degrees was the entire building – which isn’t that unlikely, but I imagine it’d cause quite the commotion outside, enough for them to hear screams and panic.

It takes some effort, but they manage to get up there. It’s pretty cold, which is bad when you’re already injured and in shock. With some luck they’ll find a safe place, but yeah, they have to get help as soon as possible.

He stared out at the city around him. Snow had been stirred into clouds, and half a dozen buildings had obviously been knocked down, judging by the remaining wreckage.  Luke’s apartment building had toppled.  How did it not collapse in on our heads?

Oh! Alright, the entire building did fall down! I know this is a rough situation, but given how suddenly and quickly it happened the people inside didn’t even have time to notice everything was tilting, I keep imagining the building just...turned ninety degrees in the blink of an eye. It’s such a cartoonish mental image.

The state of the building is the least of their concerns, anyway. They have to do something to survive the current problem. The constant scream isn’t helping. Soon they find the source of the song, and here is when I get giddy. There she is!

“The Simurgh,” Jess corrected, her voice small.  “What is she doing here?  Why is she here?”

Oh boy, that makes two Endbringers seen in the story. No, the Simurgh interfering with Dragon’s communications didn’t count, that was too brief. Only one is left! Knowing Mr. Wildbow, it’s bound to happen at some point!

Francis’ suggestion is to run, which although is a sensible reaction and definitely what anyone should do, I don’t think it’ll be of much help. Good thing it’s guaranteed most of the people here will survive to be the Travelers. I suppose the city will be destroyed and, having nothing left and no family to go back to – ouch – they turn into their nomadic lifestyle? Also, Cody is so dead. I suppose something the Simurgh does will lead to his demise.

This is a bit of a short update, but I have to end it here.

Next time: next update

#worm #worm liveblog #webserial #liveblog #webserial liveblog

[captaincanarygotmelike]

Fic: Voices Carry ch. 20

So apparently it's been a whopping three months since my last update. Whoops. Here's a super long chapter to (hopefully) make up for it.

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After the incident at the playground, Sara saw Nate one more time before he left for Star City.

He stopped by the apartment at Sara’s request to talk about how to move forward.

“Where’s Avery?” Nate asked.

“Len took her to the park for the afternoon,” she told him, “I wanted to talk with you one-on-one. Sit.”

Nate took a seat in the upholstered armchair while Sara sat on the couch.

There was a beat of silence before Sara spoke.

“You know you crossed the line, right?” she asked him, “I had one request: that you didn’t tell Avery you’re her dad, and you couldn’t even manage that.”

“Look, I’m really sorry,” he said, leaning forwards, his hands clasped as he balanced his elbows on his knees, “I swear it was a mistake, I didn’t know Avery would get so upset and I’m sorry.”

Sara exhaled heavily.

“Thank you,” she nodded, “I appreciate you saying that.”

“You know, I was a little surprised you even asked me to come back,” he said.

“Believe me, it’s not because I wanted to,” Sara replied. Nate’s face fell slightly, “But it would be wrong of me to keep you out of Avery’s life, especially now she knows who you are.”

“Thank you,” Nate nodded vigorously.

“I guess now I need to know what you want to happen next,” she continued, “I know it’s hard because we live in different cities, and she’s starting school again soon, but would you maybe want to try taking her overnight or something?”

“Yeah, totally,” he answered, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

“Okay, well, my best friend’s wedding is in a couple weeks so we’ll be spending a few days in Star City. We could do it then?”

“Definitely,” he nodded, “That’d be awesome.”

He didn’t stay for too much longer before he left to catch his train. Sara was glad for the reason to see him go.

She always felt drained when she spent time with Nate. It made her wonder how she’d actually dated him for so long — almost a year, believe it or not. He’d just been so charming and seemed genuinely interested in her, although knowing that the person she’d been with before him was Oliver Queen made her think that perhaps her definition of those two qualities had been skewed at the time.

She meant it when she said that she wanted Nate to have a chance to be in Avery’s life, but it certainly wasn’t easy on her.

It made her think about Leonard. He’d been handling everything so well — dropping Avery off with Nate when Sara couldn’t (or didn’t want to), offering his genuine unbiased opinions when she needed to make decisions, not punching Nate in the face when he was being a jackass (which was often) — and it made her forget that this couldn’t be easy on him either.

She knew his experience with his own father had somewhat dissuaded him from being one himself, but the relationship he’d formed with Avery had proven him wrong. Sara could tell that he loved being Avery’s dad, and she was sure it was uncomfortable at the very least to have some of that taken away.

Not that he’d ever tell her any of this. Sara had long since learned that Leonard tended to avoid sharing his feelings if he didn’t have to. If she sensed something was wrong, she had to dig it out of him. She knew that some people wouldn’t see that as an appealing quality, but Sara usually didn’t mind. She just didn’t like to think he was suffering alone.

Except he wasn’t alone. Sara had told him time and time again that she would go to the ends of the Earth for him, and no matter how many times he rolled her eyes when she said it, she knew he believed her.

A few weeks after Sara’s conversation with Nate, they all headed to Star City for Felicity and Oliver’s wedding.

“I feel like we should just move here,” Leonard commented as they sped past the ‘Entering Star City’ sign.

“Don’t even joke about that,” Sara replied, shaking her head warningly.

Not too long later, they had checked into their hotel room, though they didn’t stick around too long before they headed out once again.

They successfully made it through the rehearsal dinner (Leonard generously left early to put Avery to bed and Sara successfully avoided an interaction with her sister) and they woke early the next morning to prepare for the wedding.

Sara was Felicity’s maid of honor, so after a quick breakfast with Avery and Len, she headed off to the wedding venue to help Felicity get ready.

Getting everyone’s hair and makeup done took an astounding four hours, including the times Sara left to see how Oliver and the groomsmen were doing (they were fine, watching a Star City Rockets game that might have also detained Sara for a half hour).

Finally, two hours before the ceremony began, it was time for Felicity to put on her dress.

“You look so beautiful, baby!” Donna Smoak gasped when Felicity emerged from behind a curtain in her wedding dress.

“Thanks mom,” she said, a hint of exasperation in her voice as her mother hugged her.

Felicity did look beautiful. She had chosen a ball gown style dress, a contrast from the tight-fitting clothes she usually opted for. It was strapless, with a lace bodice and crochet details on the tulle skirt and train. Rhinestone detailing along the waist complemented the gems pinning up her hair.

Her bridesmaids, Sara, Thea, Iris, and Elena, were in long dresses of a deep forest green color. There was a wide satin band around the waist and a tall slit up on side of the skirt. The halter neckline was cut low, the strap narrowing to reveal an open back.

“You look great, Lis,” Sara nodded.

“Are you sure?” Felicity asked nervously, looking at her reflection in the full length mirror.

“Yes,” they all reassured her.

“When are pictures?” she asked, smoothing out the tulle skirt of her dress.

“Five minutes,” Sara told her, “The guys are ready. We can head over now if you want.”

Felicity nodded.

An hour later, when pictures were done, Sara stopped by the hotel to see how Leonard and Avery were doing.

She entered the room to see Leonard standing by the window, straightening his tie. He looked over when the door opened.

“You ready?” Sara asked as she walked towards him.

“Aren’t you supposed to be with Felicity?” he asked.

“Everyone’s getting their makeup and hair touched-up before the ceremony starts,” she replied walking further into the room, “Thought I might stop by and see how things are going here.”

Sara tugged lightly on the lapels of his jacket. She’d never seen him in a suit before. He was always in his dark jeans and heavy leather jacket (she’d noticed that the blue parka hadn’t made an appearance in a while, but if because of the mid-August heat or because he was ready to put that part of his life behind him, she wasn’t sure).

Today, he was in a suit of a deep navy blue color. Underneath the jacket was a grey vest and a white dress shirt.

“You clean up nice,” she said, watching him tuck the red tie beneath his vest.

“So do you,” he replied, his eyes sweeping up and down her green dress.

“Thanks,” Sara smirked, “Felicity has good taste.”

“That she does.”

A moment later, Avery bounded out of the bathroom in the outfit Sara had picked out for her: a halter sundress that tied into a bow around the nape of her neck. It was a longer length than Sara would normally opt for to hide the scrapes and bruises Avery had acquired during long summer days spent on the playground, and printed on the pale blue fabric were large flowers of navy blue, lilac, red, and gold hues.

“Mommy, you look so pretty!” Avery exclaimed.

“Thank you, Avie,” Sara smiled, “Do you like your dress?”

“Yeah!” she said, spinning in a circle to make the long crepe-y skirt flair out, “Look Mama, I match Daddy!”

She pointed to a navy blue flower on her dress before frantically poking at Leonard’s leg.

“I can see that,” she nodded, smiling. She glanced at her phone, “I should get back to Felicity soon. And you guys should start heading over too.”

Leonard nodded.

“Do you want me to bring Ave’s bag for tonight?” he asked.

Sara thought for a moment, “I’ll take it. I can leave it in the back room of the wedding place until the reception.”

“Is the wedding soon,” Avery asked as Sara found her backpack wedged between one of the beds and a side table.

“Uh-huh,” Sara nodded, “Ave, you know I’m not gonna be sitting with you during it, right?” Avery nodded, “You’re gonna sit with Daddy and behave and not make a lot of noise?”

“Yup,” she chirped.

“Good,” she said, “Okay, so I’m gonna go now. Be good for Daddy, okay?”

“Okay.”

Sara kissed Leonard, and planted another in Avery’s curls and then headed back out the door.

About thirty minutes later, Leonard and Avery were sitting in ornately carved wooden chairs, waiting for the ceremony to begin.

Oliver and Felicity had chosen to have their wedding in the glass-walled conservatory of a manor on the outskirts of Star City. Even Leonard could appreciate how beautiful it was, with the afternoon sunlight shining into the room and greenery growing up the walls.

“Hey.”

Leonard turned in his seat to see Laurel standing in the aisle next to him. Avery turned with him, her face brightening when she saw who had spoken.

“Auntie Laurel!” she exclaimed, climbing over Leonard’s legs to reach the aisle.

“Hi Avery!” Laurel said, lifting her up into a hug, “Are you excited to see the wedding?”

“Yeah!”

Laurel put Avery back on the ground.

“How’re you, Leonard?” she asked.

“I’m good,” he nodded, “and you?”

“Uh, well,” she began, “I’m at the wedding of my ex-boyfriend — alone — because my husband is the best man, so…confused would probably be a good word for it.”

“Well, it’ll be over soon,” he amended.

“Sara’s in the wedding?” she asked him. Leonard nodded, “She still hasn’t talked to me since…y’know.”

“I think she needs time,” he replied. She nodded.

Laurel glanced over her shoulder to see Quentin waving for her.

“I should go,” she said, “I think the ceremony’s gonna start. Maybe I’ll see you at the reception?”

“Maybe.”

Laurel smiled, waved to Avery, and turned away from them.

“Daddy?” Avery asked. Leonard looked over to her, “Is Mommy and Auntie Laurel fighting?”

“Yes.”

“How come?”

“That’s what sisters do sometimes.”

“Does Lisa fight with you?”

“Sometimes. More a few years ago than now.”

“How come d’you fight?”

“Lisa isn’t always the best at making decisions.”

“All rise,” the officiant said a moment later, his voice carrying across the room.

Leonard stood up along with everyone around him.

“Daddy, I can’t see,” Avery said, tugging on his sleeves. Leonard lifted her under her arms and stood her on a chair.

“Good?”

“Uh-huh,” she nodded, “Where’s Mommy?”

“She’s coming soon,” he replied.

A door at the back of the banquet hall opened and Felicity’s mother, Donna, started down the aisle.

Donna was wearing a summery floral-patterned dress with a neckline he knew Felicity wouldn’t appreciate.

Leonard had gotten the chance to meet Donna Smoak at the rehearsal dinner the night before. She seem to be quite a foil to her daughter, brazen and high-strung, yet still likable. She was, unsurprisingly, infatuated with Avery and was very disappointed to hear she wouldn’t be in the wedding (Felicity had initially wanted Avery to be her flower girl, but when she found out that Leonard and Sara were getting married, she insisted Avery wait to be flower girl for her parents’ wedding).

Donna made it to the end of the aisle and took her seat right in front of the alter.

A moment later, Oliver appeared beside the officiant, dressed in a sleek black tuxedo. He shook the officiant’s hand, straightened his jacket, and turned to face the wooden door at the back of the room.

The door opened again and one by one each of Felicity’s bridesmaids made their way down the aisle, arm-in-arm with a groomsman.

Oliver’s sister Thea walked with her boyfriend Roy, followed by Iris and Barry. Last was John Diggle and a young, short woman named Elena.

Leonard was impressed with himself for knowing who all of these people were without a formal introduction to any of them, but Sara talked to Felicity a lot, and he would be lying if he said he hadn’t picked up on some of the family drama, and there was certainly a lot of it.

The “drama” that went down in his own household had been of a much different variety than hers, and he found it intriguing to see a normal family experience their own trials (although as more time went by, the more he was convinced this was not a normal family).

“Look!” Avery exclaimed, her voice at a volume clearly meant to be a whisper, “Mama!”

Leonard looked where she was pointing and saw Sara starting her walk down the aisle. Tommy Merlyn, Oliver’s best man, was by her side. Sara was smiling good-naturedly, quietly laughing at something Tommy had said.

“Mommy!” Avery said, her voice not quite a yell, but certainly audible.

Sara looked over as she reached their row of seats.

“Hi Avie,” she whispered, her eyes twinkling as she waved.

Sara continued down the aisle and soon Felicity came into view.

“Look,” Leonard murmured, lifting Avery up so she could see over the heads of the other wedding attendants. When Avery saw Felicity in her wedding dress, walking arm-in-arm with her father, she let out a gasp.

“Daddy, look, she looks like a princess!” she said, gripping his shoulders and craning her neck to see better. Avery waved to Felicity. She glanced over, smiling in their direction when she saw them.

A minute later, she reached the alter and everyone took their seats.

“Daddy?” Avery whispered, tugging on Leonard’s sleeve, “Is Mommy gonna look as beautiful as Auntie Lissy when she marries you?”

“Your mom is beautiful all the time,” he told her, his voice quiet.

“But she doesn’t wear wedding dresses all the time,” she responded.

“That’s right She doesn’t do that,” he amended.

“And wedding dresses make you a gazillion times even more beautiful.”

“I think that’s your answer, then.”

The wedding went by relatively quickly, and mostly consisted of Leonard explaining the ceremony to Avery.

“Why’s Ollie talkin’?”

“He’s giving his vows.”

“What are vows?”

“He’s promising to Felicity that he’ll love her forever.”

“Is he gonna?”

“I hope.”

“Why’s Lissy talking now?”

“She’s giving her vows.”

“Why?”

“Same reason Oliver did.”

“She’s gonna love him forever?”

“Theoretically.”

“What’s theoretically?”

The ceremony didn’t drag on like Leonard suspected, and soon Oliver and Felicity were making their way back down the aisle together.

Ten minutes later, they had all reconvened in the manor’s formal banquet hall decorated in shades of cream and gold.

“It looks like a princess castle!” Avery had exclaimed when they first entered the room.

Leonard had been to few weddings throughout the course of his life, and this one was certainly the most extravagant. He rarely interacted with polite society (besides stealing from them, but that part of his life was over). It was interesting to him to see this lifestyle, this lavishness, when it was considered by many in the room as normal. He had never been in the same room as Oliver Queen before, and although he didn’t seem quite as clueless as Tommy Merlyn, he gave off a similar air of ignorance, a life of affluence preventing him from being able to fully recognize all he had.

He didn’t participate in much of the wedding festivities, choosing instead to sit and observe. He watched Oliver and Felicity’s first dance, set to Elvis Presley’s “Can’t Help Falling in Love” (which was number eight on a list of common first dance songs, something Leonard had looked up just to spite Sara, who thought it was sweet). As they were finishing up dinner, the toasts began.

Donna went first, her too long and overly revealing speech ending with her in tears and Felicity with her head in her hands.

Tommy went next, talking about the childhood he’d spent with Oliver, and how they had been together through all the important stages of their lives (it was a touching toast, Leonard had to admit, although he figured Laurel was behind at least most of it).

Sara was last. She hadn’t prepared a toast, at least not a fully written-out one like the other two — it wasn’t her style, but she ended up delivering a lovely speech about her friendship with Felicity, supporting each other when no one else would.

“How was that for impromptu,” she whispered gleefully as she returned to her seat. She gave Avery a high five.

When everyone finished eating, the dance floor was opened up to the rest of the wedding attendants.

“Let’s go dance, Len,” Sara said, nudging his arm with her shoulder as she nodded to the dance floor.

“Are you watching the time?” Leonard asked Sara, ignoring her request.

“No,” she replied, her expression blank.

“Nate’s gonna be here in three minutes.”

“Shit,” she said, recognition dawning across her face, “Where’s Avery?”

Leonard tipped his head to the side. Sara looked over to see Avery playing with the flower girl, a cupcake in each hand and frosting all over her face.

“Oh God,” Sara said closing her eyes momentarily before calling for her daughter, “Avery, c’mere!”

Avery looked up and then ran over to her mother.

“You’re double-fisting cupcakes, my love,” Sara told her, ruffling her curls.

“They’re good!” she chirped, taking an impossibly large bite out of a cupcake and smearing even more lilac-colored frosting on her cheeks.

“I don’t doubt it,” Sara said, attempting to wipe the frosting off with a napkin, “but we gotta go. Your dad’s waiting for you.”

Avery’s face fell.

“But I don’t wanna go. I wanna stay at the party.”

“I know, but you promised you’d stay with him tonight, and you’re gonna do fun things there too.”

“Can he come to the party?”

“Uh…no. C’mon, say bye to Daddy and then we have to go.”

While Avery hugged Leonard, Sara found Avery’s backpack hanging off of her chair. She held it out for Avery and watched as she pulled her arms through the straps.

“Ready?” she asked. Avery nodded. Sara took her hand and led her into the foyer of the manor.

Nate was waiting for them, sitting on an upholstered couch. He stood up when he saw Sara and Avery approaching.

“Hey,” he said, meeting Sara’s eyes, “You look nice.”

“Thanks,” she replied, “You ready?”

“Yeah, totally,” he nodded.

“Well, here she is,” Sara said. She looked at Avery, “You ready to go?”

Avery nodded. Sara looked back up at Nate.

“Okay, so basically everything she needs is in her backpack. She’s eaten — sort of. It was  mostly cupcakes so she still needs dinner. She’s not a very picky eater, so she’ll probably be fine with whatever works for you. Her bedtime is at eight, but if you wanted, you could keep her up a little later.”

Nate nodded.

“Okay,” he said, “Sounds good.”

“And if you need anything, just text me or call.”

“Got it,” he nodded, “You ready to go, Avery?”

Avery nodded, not letting go of her mother’s hand. Sara crouched down and pulled her into a hug. She felt Avery’s arms wind around her neck, her fingers gripping her hair.

“You’re gonna have fun, okay?” Sara whispered into Avery’s curls, “I promise.”

She felt Avery nod.

Sara stood up and gave her a little nudge forward.

“Have fun,” she said as they started heading for the front door that was being propped open with a barrel filled with purple flowers. Avery turned and waved as they passed through the doorway. Soon they were down the porch steps and out of sight.

Sara took a deep breath and then headed back for the banquet hall.

“Well that was shitty,” she said when she returned to the table and saw Leonard in the same place she’d left him.

“She didn’t want to go?” he asked as Sara sat in the chair next to him.

“Not really,” she replied, “She seemed kind of…I dunno, uncomfortable?” She met his eyes, “Was this a mistake?”

“I really don’t know,” he answered. Sara let out a sigh, leaning over to rest the side of her head on his shoulder.

A moment later, Felicity came up behind them.

“Did Nate pick Avery up?” she asked. Sara nodded as she sat up.

“Just now.”

“Aw, that sucks,” Felicity said, leaning over to hug her from behind, her arms wrapping around Sara’s shoulders, “I mean, I’m sure she’ll have fun with him, but…y’know, it can’t be easy.”

Felicity stood and walked around their chairs.

“But look on the bright side,” she said, gesturing around them, “You’re at a fancy party. The booze is free, for you at least, and you don’t have a kid to take care of.”

“She has a point,” Leonard agreed.

“When have you ever looked on the bright side of anything,” Sara grumbled.

“Cute,” he smirked.

“You’re seriously both encouraging me to, what, get hammered on my night off?” Sara said skeptically, “Really?”

“Yes,” they said simultaneously.

“You deserve it,” Felicity added seriously.

Sara raised her eyebrows thoughtfully.

“Fine,” she said, “I’m gonna go get a drink — or two — and then you,” she poked Leonard’s chest, “are gonna dance with me even if I have to drag you out onto the floor.”

She stood, feeling his eyes on her as she headed for the bar.

She ordered two shots of an alcohol she hadn’t had since right after Avery was born (and then never again — waking up hungover sucked, but waking up hungover at dawn to a screaming newborn was damn near prison torture) and a whiskey for Leonard. She downed one of the shots before even leaving the bar. Just as she picked up the other two glasses to head back to the table, she saw her sister making her way towards her. She drank the other shot, wondering briefly if she should order another before Laurel was standing in front of her.

“Hey Sara,” she said.

“Laurel,” Sara said, forcing a friendly smile onto her face, “You look nice.”

“So do you,” she replied, “As always. Your wedding invitation came in the mail yesterday. I was a little surprised to see it.”

“Yeah, well, Lisa told me not to just send emails,” she joked.

“I’m serious,” Laurel said, “I was sort of surprised to see you actually invited me.”

“Well, you are my sister,” Sara shrugged, “Of course I’d invite you to my wedding.”

“So you aren’t still mad at me about Nate?” she asked.

“I think you’re smart enough to know it’s gonna take more than a month and half for me to get over that,” she said, lifting the glass of whiskey meant for Leonard to her lips.

Sara couldn’t tell if it was disappointment or resignation she saw in Laurel’s eyes.

“Okay, well, I’m sorry, I guess,” she said, “I hope he’s not causing you guys a ton of trouble.”

“No, none at all,” Sara said sweetly. She ordered two more shots for herself and another whiskey for Len and then walked away from her sister.

“That looked less than amicable,” Leonard commented when Sara returned to the table, accepting the glass of whiskey.

“Let’s just say Felicity is lucky I love her so much because I would love to beat some sense into my sister.”

Felicity and Leonard were ultimately unsuccessful at getting Sara completely hammered, but when they returned to the hotel room at nearly eleven o’clock, her wide smile and uncharacteristic giggle were reminding Leonard of when Sara had to take pain meds for her bullet wound to the stomach several months ago.

It didn’t last long.

“I hope Ave’s doing okay,” she said morosely, pulling off her silver heels and letting them drop onto the carpeted floor.

“I’m sure she’s fine,” Leonard reassured her, loosening his tie, “She usually has fun with him.”

“I know,” she nodded, “but she’s never spent the night with anyone before.”

“That’s not true,” Leonard replied, “She sleeps at your mom’s house all time.” Sara opened her mouth to argue but he continued, “and when you had to stay at S.T.A.R. Labs for a few weeks after the warehouse incident, Lisa stayed with her.”

“She trusts them though,” Sara argued, turning away from him and pulling her hair over her shoulder. She was still as he unzipped the back of her green dress, “She hasn’t known Nate for very long, maybe not long enough to spend a whole night with him.”

Sara went into the bathroom, leaving the door open to hear Leonard’s response. as she changed into a t-shirt and shorts.

“You left me alone with her when you only knew me for a month,” he said, “and I’m not actually her dad.”

“Yeah, but that’s because she was, like, obsessed with you,” she replied, “She trusted you before I did.”

“She has good taste,” he replied, and Sara could practically hear his smirk. She rolled her eyes.

She picked up a hairbrush off the counter and went back into the hotel room where Leonard was now in a t-shirt and sweatpants, sitting on one of the queen-size beds with a book.

“I just feel like I’m rushing into it,” she said, shrugging as she sat cross-legged next to him.

Sara’s phone, resting on the bedside table, starting to ring.

“Who is it?” Sara asked, starting to run the hairbrush through her hair.

Leonard, closer to the phone than her, leaned over to read the name on the illuminated screen.

“Speak of the devil,” he said, handing the phone to her, “It’s Nate.”

“What does he want?” Sara asked, then held the phone up to her ear, “Nate, what do you want?”

“Avery’s saying she doesn’t feel good,” Nate replied.

“Okay,” Sara replied, slowing down so she could process what Nate was telling her, “What’s she saying is wrong?”

“She says she has a sore throat.”

“Did you give her Tylenol or cough medicine or something?”

“No. I don’t have any kid’s medicine.”

Sara closed her eyes, “You agreed to take Avery for the night and you don’t have children’s medicine? Where do you have her sleeping, the floor?”

“Sara,” Leonard said warningly, but when she looked to him, there was a hint of a smirk on his lips.

“Look, take a regular Tylenol pill and cut it in half,” she told Nate, “That’ll work. Oh, and she can’t swallow pills because she’s four, so you have to crush it and put it in ice cream or something and have her eat that.”

“Okay,” Nate said.

“And if it starts to be too much, call me and I’ll come get her. I won’t hold it against you,” then she added, “Probably.”

“Okay,” he repeated. He hung up. Sara tossed the phone onto the couch and exhaled heavily.

“Ave doesn’t feel good?” Leonard asked.

“No, of course not,” she said sardonically, “because why would anything in my life be easy.”

Leonard didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry,” Sara said, her voice softer as she uncrossed her legs and curled up against his side.

“You keep telling me that and I’m not really sure why,” he replied, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

“Because everything was hard for so long and we kept almost dying and then after the Markov device things were actually normal for a while, and then hurricane-Nate showed up and now everything’s crazy and you’re all caught up in it when you shouldn’t have to be.” Sara stopped to take a breath, “You should want…better, or…easier.”

“I want you,” he replied, “and anyway, I gave up on normal after the particle accelerator exploded and the Flash showed up. Besides, I…doubt…this Nate thing will last.”

“What do you mean?” Sara asked, propping herself up on her elbow to better meet his eyes.

Leonard hesitated, searching for the right words.

“My dad would always come home from prison wanting to be a better man, and he tried. For the first few weeks, he was a good dad and a good husband, but he never could make it last. A job would go badly or my mother wouldn’t have dinner on the table at the right time or I got on his bad side, and he would lose it. My father was a man who couldn’t do a job if it wasn’t easy,” he paused, “He didn’t know how to keep trying.”

“You think Nate’s gonna be the same way?” Sara asked.

“Well, considering he didn’t try to stay with you when you told him you were pregnant, he’s not off to a great start,” he replied, “He hasn’t had any…challenges…with her yet. We’ll have to see how he does when they do happen.”

“That’s why I didn’t want Ave to know he’s her dad,” Sara said, “I wanted to give him the time to back out if he wanted to, so she wouldn’t be disappointed and he wouldn’t be known to her as ‘the dad who left and didn’t come back’ for the rest of his life. I know he thinks I was doing it to spite him, but I really wasn’t. I don’t hold anything against him anymore.”

Leonard raised his eyebrows.

“Not that much,” she corrected.

He let out a sigh.

“I just don’t want to see her disappointed by her dad’s inability to do his job, because I know what that’s like,” he said.

“Well she’ll always have you,” she said, nudging his side. He said nothing, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw a hint of a smile on his lips, “I’m serious. She loves you so much that it’s actually kind of crazy. I can tell she hates calling Nate her dad because the bond the two of you have is like nothing else. She doesn’t feel it with him like she does with you. No matter what he does, and no matter how long he stays, you’re her dad, not him.”

The next morning, Sara met Nate in the lobby of the hotel to pick Avery up.

She was only waiting a minute or two before they arrived. Nate was holding Avery’s hand in one of his own and her backpack in the other.

Avery didn’t look to be in great shape, although that made sense considering she clearly had come down with something. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were drooping. The usual bounce in her step was noticeably lackluster.

Nate looked downright exhausted.

“How’d it go?” she asked as Avery let go of Nate’s hand and ran into her arms.

“Uh, it was good,” Nate nodded, handing Sara the purple backpack.

“Good,” Sara nodded, “Hey, sorry she wasn’t feeling good.”

“No, don’t worry about it,” he shook his head, “It happens.”

“Well, I know we have to head back to Central, but we can schedule another visit. We could do the same overnight thing if you wanted, or she could even stay longer if you were up for it.”

“Yeah totally,” Nate nodded, “but my work schedule is so crazy right now. Why don’t I check when I’m free and I’ll let you know what works?”

“Sure,” she replied. Nate nodded.

“Uh, so have a safe trip home,” he said.

“Thanks.”

“Bye Avery.”

“Bye,” Avery replied, pulling away from her mother to wave at him.

Nate turned and walked towards the tall glass doors and then he was gone.

Sara started towards the elevators with Avery in tow.

“I’m sorry you don’t feel good,” she said, “Did you have fun with your dad anyway?”

“Uh-huh.”

“What’d you do?”

“We made pizza outta bagels and then we watched Tangled.”

“That’s fun, you love Tangled,” Sara replied, “Do you want to press the button?”

“Yeah!”

Sara pointed to the button with an up arrow and watched Avery enthusiastically jab at it. A moment later, the metal doors parted and they stepped inside the elevator.

“What else did you do with him?” Sara asked.

“Can I do this button too?”

“Seven,” she replied, “What else did you do with your dad?”

“We played go-fish. He won a lot.”

“Oh, well that’s okay. You can’t win every game. Is that all you did?”

Avery shrugged before lapsing into a coughing fit.

“Where’s Daddy?” she finally got out.

“We’re almost there,” she said as the elevator doors parted. She led Avery down the carpeted hallway to their hotel room, letting them inside.

Leonard was sitting on one of the beds, legs crossed at the ankles, reading a book. He looked up when they walked in.

“Hey,” he said, closing the book and setting it on the quilt beside him, “How’d it go?”

Avery tiredly crossed the room and climbed into the bed beside him.

“I don’t feel good, Daddy,” she said, curling against his side.

Leonard pulled Avery closer to him, running his knuckles up and down her arm.

“That’s not fun” he said. Avery shook her head, nuzzling her cheek against his shoulder. He looked up and met Sara’s eyes, “So how’d it go?”

She shrugged, “Avery says she had fun, didn’t you, Ave?”

Leonard felt Avery nod, her messy curls brushing against the base of his neck.

“I wanna go home,” she said.

“I know,” Sara said, “We will. Soon. We just need to say bye to Ollie and Auntie Lissy before they go on their honeymoon.”

Avery didn’t answer.

Leonard held the back of his hand against her forehead.

“She has a fever,” he told Sara.

“Ave, did your dad give you any medicine this morning?”

“No,” she replied. Sara let out frustrated sigh.

“I’m gonna run out and get her some Tylenol,” she said, grabbing her phone and wallet, “I’ll be right back.”

As Sara left the hotel room, Leonard lifted Avery onto his chest, an arm across her back bracing her from slipping off of him.

She curled up against him, her cheek against his chest.

“Can you read to me, Daddy?”

“Did Nate read you the books you packed?” he asked as he reached for The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

“One of ‘em,” she replied, her arms locking around his neck.

“Where’d we leave off,” he asked.

“They’re in the Beavers’ house and Edmund left to find the snow lady,” Avery answered.

“Right,” he nodded, holding the book above Avery and opening it to the dog-eared page from a couple days ago.

They read two chapters before Sara returned and gave Avery her medicine.

“Felicity and Oliver are gonna meet us downstairs in twenty,” she told Leonard, tossing a pile of clothes into her suitcase.

He nodded, standing to help her pack.

After a few minutes, Sara noticed that Avery’s eyes had dropped closed, her fist loosening its hold on her bunny blanket.

“No, you can’t go to sleep, Ave,” Sara said. Avery whined as Sara lifted her up, sitting her on the end of the bed so her legs dangled towards the floor, “I know you don’t feel good and you can sleep in the car, but you’ve gotta stay awake to say bye to Auntie Lis, okay?”

Avery slumped somewhat pathetically over to one side.

“Here,” Sara said, holding out Avery’s backpack, “Take this and just wait a couple minutes and then we’ll go.”

Avery pulled the backpack onto her shoulders and stood by the foot of the bed until Sara said it was time to go.

“Ready?” she asked, taking her daughter’s hand. Avery nodded and followed Sara and Leonard out of the hotel room.

“Do you wanna push the button?” Sara asked her when they reached the elevator.

Avery shook her head, reaching towards Leonard. He lifted her into his arms as the elevator door opened.

Felicity was waiting for them when they arrived in the lobby of the hotel.

“Hey guys!” she exclaimed, smiling brightly.

“Hey Lis,” Sara said, hugging her friend, “Where’s Ollie?”

“I guess there’s an issue with our plane tickets?” she shrugged, “He’s off taking care of it.”

“Are you excited for Italy?”

“Hell yeah,” she replied, “It’s gonna be great. You guys are heading back to Central?”

“Yeah,” Sara nodded, “Ave’s not feeling great so we’re gonna get her back home.”

“Oh no,” she said, taking Avery from Leonard to give her a hug, “That’s not fun, Avie.”

Avery shook her head in agreement.

“I’m gonna miss you guys,” Felicity said, handing Avery back to Leonard.

“Me too,” Sara said, pulling Felicity into another hug, “I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank you,” she said, hugging her back.

“Have fun in Italy,” Sara said, “Eat some gelato for me.”

“I will,” she nodded, “and when I get back it’s all about you.”

“Why me?”

“When I get back it’ll be only a month until your wedding.”

“Oh yeah. I guess you’re right.”

They heard the sound of vibrating. Felicity glanced down at her phone.

“It’s Ollie,” she said, “I should go.”

She gave Sara one last hug, waved to Leonard and Avery, and then was on her way.

During the following weeks, Nate took Avery overnight two more times. Sara had to admit she was starting to get tired of driving to Star City, but she knew it was the right thing to do, and besides, Avery seemed to be having fun with him.

Finally, the weekend before Avery started school again, Nate agreed to be the one to make the trip between their cities. He wasn’t taking her overnight this time, but, at Sara’s suggestion, was bringing her to a children’s amusement park a little outside Central City.

“Are you excited, Avie?” Sara asked that morning, pulling a patterned t-shirt and denim shorts out of Avery’s dresser.

“Yeah,” Avery replied from where she was sitting on her bed, “Wait it’s the one that we went to at my summer camp right?”

“Uh-huh,” Sara answered.

“Yeah!” she exclaimed, bouncing up and down on her knees, “It’s so much fun ‘cos there’s so many rides, remember?”

“I wasn’t there, but I’ll take your word for it.”

“Are you comin’ with us?” she asked, her voice muffled as she pulled her shirt over her head.

“Nope. Daddy and I have to go work on the wedding with Lisa and Iris and everybody.”

“Can I come?”

“You’re going to the amusement park with your dad, Ave.”

“Oh yeah.”

Sara watched as Avery pulled on her shorts.

“You ready?” she asked, “He’s gonna be here soon.”

“Uh-huh,” she nodded, jumping off her bed and into the hallway, “Wait, can we do daily bubble?”

“Do you want to wait and do it with your dad?” Sara asked her.

Avery paused, thinking.

“No,” she decided, “I wanna do it now.”

“Okay,” Sara shrugged, following Avery out onto the balcony

“Daddy!” Avery called over her shoulder, “Come do the daily bubble!”

“He’s at the grocery store, babe,” she told her.

“Is he gonna be back before I go?” Avery asked as she pulled the plastic top off the tupperware container holding the bubble soap.

“Maybe,” Sara replied, picking up the bubble wand, “He told me to tell you to have fun for him in case he isn’t, though. Ready?”

Avery nodded. Sara slowly dragged the pink plastic wand through the air until the bubble formed, bouncing through the air, wobbling as the wind pushed it in different directions.

“One,” Avery was counting, “Two…three…four…five.”

Sara joined for, “Six…seven…eight.”

And then it popped when a particularly strong gust of wind blew it into a nearby telephone pole.

“Aw,” Avery pouted.

“Hey, that one wasn’t that bad,” Sara told her, putting the lid back on the tupperware container, “C’mon, come put your shoes on and wait for your dad.”

A half hour later, she was still waiting for Nate.

Leonard had returned to the apartment about ten minutes earlier.

“Sorry, traffic — hey, why’s Avery still here.”

After another thirty minutes, Sara tried calling him, but he didn’t pick up.

“Mommy, where is he,” Avery asked, hanging off the back of the couch.

“I dunno, honey, he’s probably just running late.”

A full two hours after Nate was supposed to show up, the phone finally rang. Leonard picked it up.

“Hello?” he said, although he suspected he already knew who was on the other end.

“Hey, it’s Nate.”

“Avery’s here waiting for you,” Leonard told him, not bothering with small-talk.

“Yeah, so there’s a problem,” Nate said, “I’m not gonna make it.”

“What?” he asked, anger creeping into his voice before he could stop it.

“I got put on the schedule at work by accident and we’ve been super busy lately so I didn’t think I should just cancel. Sorry this is last minute.”

“You were supposed to pick her up at seven-thirty, and now it’s almost ten,” Leonard said, “That’s not last minute, that’s late.”

“I know,” he said apologetically, “Look, I have to go. Tell Sara I’m sorry.”

Before he could say anything, Nate hung up. Leonard closed his eyes, letting out a deep exhale.

A moment later, the apartment door opened and Sara and Avery walked in, the latter pushing her bike by the handlebars. Sara stopped when she saw the phone in Leonard’s hand.

“Ave,” she said, “go put your bike in your room and play for a little bit, okay?”

When Avery was in her room, Sara said, “He’s not coming.”

Leonard shook his head.

“He said something came up,” he told her, “He told me to tell you he’s sorry.”

“I’m sure he is,” Sara shook her head. There was a sadness in her eyes as she walked closer to him. She sighed, “It can’t just be easy.”

He pulled her into a hug.

“It can’t just be easy,” he repeated.

#lot #captain canary #lot ff #cc ff #legends of tomorrow #voices carry #mine

[aliceinthewritingrepublic]

Come to Me

Title: Come to Me

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia

Pairing: Midoriya Izuku/Reader

Rating: T

Word Count: 2211

You were planning to spend your birthday alone. Instead, Izuku invites you to meet his mother for the first time.

Over the past few years, you had found yourself liking your own birthday less and less.

The reason for that was not only that you were by now at an age where you would have preferred to grow younger rather than older. Aside from that problematic, it had also been a while – a few years, truthfully – since you had been able to celebrate your birthday with your family, the way you would have liked to. As such, you were not all that excited.

Your boyfriend, on the other hand, was very excited to celebrate your birthday with you for the first time.

“There’s only three days left until your birthday! Have you decided what you want to do yet?” Izuku asked, smiling at you as brightly and kindly as a person could smile.

“I’m not sure I want to do anything. I think I’ll just stay home and do nothing for a day,” was the well-thought-out plan you shared with him.

It was obvious from the look in his eyes that that would not do. There was no way in hell he was going to let you spend the whole day feeling sorry for yourself instead of celebrating. And he had made sure to bring along a suggestion that would surprise you into foregoing your intended day of sloth.

“My mom offered to make a cake for us,” he announced, scratching the back of his neck before correcting himself. “Well, for you. And I asked her to. Would you like to come over to my mom’s place with me on your birthday? We can spend the day doing nothing while we’re there, if you’d like to.”

A warmth swelled along your cheeks and inside your ribcage at his invitation. He did know you well enough to know that you did not actually want to spend your birthday on your own. You simply had trouble asking for things you wanted. It was something you were working on, but as of now, you still required others to extend invitations to you in order to feel wanted.

“I’d love that.” You were not lying.

When you arrived at Izuku’s childhood home, your heart was beating in your throat. He had promised that his mother was going to love you, but that had done little to alleviate your stress. What were you going to do if she didn’t like you? What if she thought you were not good enough for her son? You wondered whether she knew that she had raised the most perfect man alive.

But you need not have worried at all, you found. The door opened before the two of you, and before you could even finish saying, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Midoriya,” you were enveloped in a warm hug from a small mother with a very mother-like scent about her.

“Call me Inko! I’m so happy you’re finally here! Happy birthday!”

You no longer had to wonder where Izuku got his sweetness from.

In the midst of a lot of ‘Thank you’s and ‘He’s told me so much about you’s (cue a blush on your boyfriend’s face) and ‘I hope you like chocolate’s, you were shushed inside and towards the kitchen table. The apartment was not large by any means, but it was well-furnished and gave the immediate impression of being a home more than anything.

Homemade triple chocolate cake. Things did not get much better than this.

Or, they did. Because it turned out to be one of the nicest days you had had in a long time.

While Inko was telling you how you were the first girlfriend Izuku had ever brought home, you caught the slight redness on his cheeks as he was laughing along with her. You had not realized that he had never taken anyone else to meet his mother, and you felt honored by this special status. You wished you were able to freeze-frame this situation for eternity: the moment you were sitting here, watching your boyfriend who was smiling and blushing and not bothered at all by the slight embarrassment his mother was raining on him. She was telling stories about what he had been like as a child and as a teenager, and you could not get enough of it, smiling and listening while eating your third piece of cake of the afternoon.

It was so simple, and so simply the best birthday you had ever had.

If you had not already felt welcome in this house, in this family, in this life at this point, you surely would have as soon as Inko brought up the offer for you two to stay overnight.

It had become late, and thus, you inevitably realized that she had coincidentally prepared enough dinner for three. After this coincidence was dealt with (in the form of a family dinner), Izuku went to prepare his old bedroom for the night while you and Inko did the dishes together.

Conversation came easy with her. It was obvious how much she loved her son, and perhaps it was this common ground that had made her so willing to welcome you. Never had a boyfriend’s mother made it so simple for you to find a way in.

You had been wondering how much Izuku had told her about the less stellar aspects of your life. The answer came when, after a short lapse in talking, Inko brought up a topic she obviously did not quite know how to approach.

“So, [Name]…” She paused, handing you another clean plate to dry. “Izuku told me about your family situation. I hope you’re not upset with him for it.”

“No, it’s okay.” It was okay. Just because it was not a pretty story did not mean you were ashamed of it, and you knew Izuku only ever had your best interests at heart. He did not have an ill bone in his body.

“I just wanted you to know that if you ever need someone, you know, like, a mother to talk to… you can come to me.”

The tone in her voice was so kind and honest it was difficult to take. You swallowed, unsure whether it would be okay for you to hug her again to let her know how much her words meant to you. Instead, you simply ended up standing there and continuing to dry a long since dry plate.

“Thank you,” you eventually managed to get out. “Just… thank you. For everything. For saying that, and for the cake, and for being so amazing. I’m so glad I came here. It’s been the greatest day.”

The answer you got to that was another genuine smile from her. You were grateful for all of the things you had mentioned, and you were also grateful to know that Izuku had grown up with a good, loving mother. Truth be told, it was that knowledge that made you happiest of all.

When you retreated to Izuku’s childhood bedroom later in the evening, it was simultaneously exactly what you had expected and also not what you had been expecting at all. There was so much All Might paraphernalia. So. Much. The small room’s wallpaper was basically made up of posters.

It was so sweet, you thought, that Inko had kept his room untouched even after he had moved out, rather than to convert it into something else to better utilize the limited space in her small apartment.

“So, you’ve always been a fanboy, huh?” Already, you had stepped in front of a bookcase and begun to run your finger along the spines of the comic books there.

“It’s kind of embarrassing…” He trailed off. “But, yes. I only took the stuff I cherished the most when I moved out, though.”

You took the few steps you needed to get back to him and slung an arm around his waist, leaning into his side. Almost automatically, his arm, too, snaked around your body, holding you to him as if that were the most natural position for your two bodies to be in. (Because it was.)

“I love it.” It was true. You loved how unapologetically excited he could be about things, how pure his passion was when he was into something. You would know – after all, you were one of the things he was into these days.

You spotted something on his desk – an exercise book with a handwritten title on it.

“What’s that?” you wondered out loud, pointing to the object in question.

“Oh, that’s one of the notebooks about heroes I wrote.”

“Don’t you still write them, though?” You could have sworn you had seen him doodling into a similar notebook not that long ago.

“I do! That was the first one, though. It’s ninety percent All Might, to tell the truth.” He laughed, and you laughed along with him.

“Which issue are you on now?”

He hesitated for a moment. You were not sure whether he actually had to think about it or whether the number was simply so high he did not feel comfortable admitting it.

“…number thirty-four,” he eventually confessed in a small, yet amused voice.

So, without further ado, you sat down on his old bed together and started flipping through the pages. He pointed out his favorites, at times criticizing details from his old drawings. You personally thought that they were amazing, especially considering how young he had been when he had made them. Once you were done with one book, you moved onto the next, eventually arriving at number eight. The clock on the wall promised that hours had passed, although it had not felt like it at all.

Thus, the topic of sleeping arrangements became relevant.

Of course there was only a tiny single-person bed. You did not know what else you had been expecting. Izuku had put up a futon on the floor next to it to make room for two sleepers.

“So, you’re planning on making me sleep on the floor, I see?” you joked, knowing perfectly well that he had no such intention.

“No, I’m sleeping on the floor. You can have my bed.”

You, on the other hand, had no such intention, as he would soon find out.

Having prepared to go to bed first, you were already lying down in the bed while he was still in the bathroom. All Might was staring down at you from the ceiling. You nodded at him in a silent acknowledgment. He did not greet you back because he was a poster.

Then, when Izuku came back, planning to get cozy on the futon like the gentleman he was, you prevented him from doing so by reaching for his hand and entwining your fingers with his.

“Come to bed,” you requested.

“But it’s tiny,” he countered, saying nothing more. You knew you had won the second you had asked him.

“That just means we’ll have to cuddle up closer.” Your preferred sleeping position was half on top of him, and it was not a secret.

He did sit down on the edge of the bed, his body already touching one of your legs through the blanket. Of course you were going to get your way.

“But you can’t complain if you end up pushed against the wall.” Success. His barely-existent resolve to sleep on the floor had crumbled like the sham it had been.

“If I feel trapped, I’ll just push you out of bed.” As if.

For now, he lay down next to you. It was a tight fit, as Izuku very definitely did not have the beanstalk body of a teenager anymore. But you were lying halfway on his chest, head resting comfortably in that place between his clavicle and chest that was your favorite. One of your legs was hooked between both of his, and in this position, the mattress just so fit you both, and the blanket just so covered you. (Except, perhaps, for an inch or two of your back. It allowed for a draft of cold air that made for the perfect excuse to crawl into him even further, absorbing his physical warmth as if it were all you needed to survive.)

The lights were off now, and it was silent for a while. From his breathing, you knew that Izuku was still awake, which meant that he would hear you once you spoke.

“Thank you,” you whispered into his collarbone. “This was the perfect birthday.”

And it had been. Peace, and quiet, and a mother and son that wanted you to be a part of their family. It was all you could have wished for and more.

“You’re welcome,” he replied softly, but you were not done speaking.

“I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have you. I catch myself all the time, thinking how perfect you are and how I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend. Just… I love you. I love you so much.”

You did not know what you had done to deserve to be here, to be now, to be with him. But you were, and he, too, was here, and now, and with you. Somewhere along the way, you must have done something right.

“I love you, too. Stupidly much.”

You must have done something very right.

#reader insert #birthday fic #fandom:bnha #midoriya izuku #izuku midoriya #bnha #mha #bnha imagine #bnha imagines #bnha reader insert #mha imagine #mha imagines #mha reader insert #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #my hero academy #midoriya izuku x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #rating:t