#also love how she literally caught a baby bunny the other day and mom was like 'awww :('

[lubdubsworld]

Insatiable. ( Jungkook x OC)

Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x OC

Rating 18+

Genre : Vampire Au!!!! , DILF! Jungkook ! Bodyguard AU! Babysitter OC!   Age difference!!! [ bet you’ve never seen all of this in one fic before? ] 

[ Some notes : Born Vampires stop aging when they turn twenty five.  Turned vampires stop aging when they’re turned. ]

Summary : 

21 year old Hwang Sera is sick of being the only human in an entire clan of vampires. As an immortal human from one of the oldest bloodlines, she is a catch. The Vampire she marries would essentially be indestructible. 

Which makes her an easy target for greedy vampires everywhere. 

Determined to keep his precious daughter safe, her father hires an old friend , Jeon Jungkook as her full time bodyguard. 

Jungkook is 35 years old ( well technically 576 years old )  , father to an adorable five year old kid and he has zero tolerance for Sera and her teenage shenanigans. But , he needs the money and he knows his son would be safe in the  Hwang clan’s massive mansion.  

And suddenly, after years of despising vampires, all Sera can think about is getting into the gorgeous vampire’s bed and maybe into his heart. 

Chapter 1

“He’s so hot.” My sister sighed for the seventeenth time and I glared at her.

“He’s mine. Back the fuck off.” I bared my non existent fangs at her and she retaliated by showing off her own inch long fangs, eyes flashing ruby red in the confines of our huge sprawling bedroom. 

The man in question, my sparkling new bodyguard wasn’t here now. He was downstairs at the party, being introduced to the others as the latest addition to our clan.

My mouth watered when I remembered his gorgeous, handsome face. And that body , God. 

Sculpted by some higher being who wanted to show off, for sure. 

I had never given much thought to losing my virginity. It certainly wasn’t by design that I hadn’t had sex yet but looking at Jeon Jungkook in a fitted black suit, midnight black hair falling into his lovely red eyes and those delicious muscles.....

I kind of believed in fate now. 

This was why I’d always been repulsed by the vampires who courted me. 

Because Jeon Jungkook had been out there, waiting for me. 

And now fate had brought him here and he was going to be mine. 

I stumbled over a stray bra, nearly face planting onto the floor . 

 God, i hated how messy Somi was but I was also eternally grateful that she had skipped out on the party tonight, volunteering to help me with the kids. 

I ran a daycare in one of the larger cottages in the estate, keeping the little fanged devils in check while the parents went about their daily lives. On nights like this, when my father hosted guests from every clan in the country for one of his lavish parties, there was always a whole bunch of bite-happy toddlers in need of supervision. 

Enter me.

 I loved babies. I’d always loved them. They were adorable. And after three years of school , I was finally, officially qualified in caring for them. 

Oh and by the way did i tell you that Jungkook had a son? Jeon Joowon was possibly the cutest five year old I’d ever seen and yes I was a little biased but that was okay. I was going to be the kids step mom , after all. 

Listen, don’t look at me like that, I just really want to be with Jungkook okay?

I tripped over the same bra when turning back around and I swore.

Focus, Sera. You can day dream about hot vampire daddy later.

“ Why do you have to throw your shit all over the place like this? “ I whined, grabbing the offensive piece of fabric and tossing it at her. She caught is so fast I  went a little cross eyed. My sister never missed an opportunity to show off her super-saiyan, vampire powers. That made her a crowd favorite with the toddlers and younglings . 

“I still don’t think your choice of a career is smart. These fanged little beasts are impossible to control... ” She commented mildly, watching me stuff two whole cartons of baby wipes into the huge backpack I had propped against the bed. I’d forgotten to restock the day care with wet wipes and it was sheer luck that I had a pair of them lying around my room.

The very idea of entering a room full of babies and toddlers without baby wipes, made me shudder. 

“Listen, they’re absolute angels when you listen to what they’re saying. Just because babies can’t talk doesn’t mean they don’t have preferences. All you really need to do is find out what each kid likes and help them feel comfortable -”

“Please stop.” She rolled her eyes and I glared at her.

“I’m a little thirsty. Can i have a sip..” She said softly and I frowned.

“You haven’t drunk from me the entire day. Are you okay?” I held my wrist out.

She shrugged , grabbing my wrist and casually sinking her fangs into the vein . Pain bloomed, familiar and somehow comforting , replaced almost at once by the gentle numbing of her venom. She drank a little and pulled back soon after, linking the puncture wounds for good measure. I watched the skin knit itself together , whole and unmarred in no time. 

Perks of being immortal. 

The knock on the door made me jump. 

“Ms Hwang?” Jungkook’s soft, husky voice came floating through the door and I grinned, cheeks aching with how wide my smile was.

“You look like a maniac. Stop smiling.” My sister looked a little alarmed and I struggled to rearrange my features. Sticking my tongue out at her, I grabbed my sweatshirt, slipping it overhead quickly. I glanced at the mirror, grimacing a bit. 

Being with toddlers meant no make up or hair left free.... and so I had a messy top bun, and just lip gloss to look presentable. While the entire party teemed with gorgeous vampires in low cut gowns and blood red lips. 

Ugh. 

I grabbed the backpack and waved to Somi.

“Come as soon as you can alright?” I begged her and she waved me off.

I rushed to the door, throwing it open and smiling wide.

“Hi oppa.” I said cheerfully.

“I’m not your oppa.” Jungkook said automatically, barely glancing at me and instead reaching for the backpack. He directed me to the stairwell on the side, the one that led straight down to the ground floor and out into the gardens. He went in first and  I followed him,  climbing down carefully. 

I sighed, taking in the mouth watering width of his shoulders, encased in a perfectly fitted jacket. He looked so handsome I wanted to cry. And although he’d been here for a whole week month now, I hadn’t managed to get into his good graces. 

“What do I call you, then?” I made to hold his hand when we reached the end of the staircase  but he shook my arm off at once.

Did I tell you that he really can’t stand me for some reason? 

“As I’ve  mentioned a dozen times already, Mr. Jeon would suffice.” He said shortly. He held the door leading out into the gardens open and I walked through. 

“That makes you seem so old.” I grimaced, shaking my head and he gave me an amused look.

“I am 576 years old.” He deadpanned. The daycare cottage was just a five minute walk from the mansion and the pathway through the garden was absolutely beautiful, well lit and covered in the brightest flowers. 

I waved off his excuse about his age. 

“you don’t look a day over twenty five to me.” I said with a shrug. He shook his head, clearly too tired to carry the conversation on. We walked in silence and I felt incredibly content, just with him near.

 And he was going to be by my side for the rest of our lives, I thought softly. I would make sure of it. I’d never felt this way about anyone. Jungkook was a good man , evident in literally everything he did. He was kind, an amazing father and such a gentleman that he made me melt. 

Jungkook had been turned at the age of 35. And so he sailed through eternity with the gorgeous good looks of a mature , well kept man. His hair was thick, just a slight bit of grey peppering the edges and his features were sharp and well defined. 

“Is Joowon in the daycare already?” I asked with a smile and he nodded curtly. 

“He has Mr. Pepper with him. He refused to leave him behind. please just make sure he still has him with him when he leaves. He can’t fall asleep without the bunny “ He said softly and I felt my heart bloom ten sizes.

“Of course, I will -”

“Jungkook !!!” The shrill voice broke the stillness of the night like a hammer through a mirror. 

I turned around with a frown only to be greeted by the sight of a very pretty, very tall vampire in a blood red bodycon dress and a neckline that plunged all the way to her belly button. She had ruby red lips, and well made eyes. Eyes that now flashed red , dilating as they ran up and down his body. 

I felt myself clenching my fists. 

“I’m getting late....we need to go, I grabbed his arm trying to tug him along but he didn’t budge. i glanced at his face and felt my heart shatter at the small smile playing around his lips.

“Helena..... Surprise seeing you here....” He drawled, voice so much deeper than usual and I bit my lips. They knew each other? 

The vampire had reached us now and she gave me a disdainful smile.

“Who’s this?” She asked with a laugh, “ Are you babysitting now, Jeon?”

I bristled. To my utter chagrin, Jungkook laughed to.

“She’s the kid I’m watching. The Immortal human  of the Hwang clan.” He intoned dully. 

The lady’s brows went up in surprise.

“:The rumors are true, ....The Hwang clan’s hidden jewel.....with skin like the rarest pearl and eyes that steal souls. Fiercely guarded ...a beauty like no other.... I thought they were exaggerating, but I see they were not. . You’re exquisite.” She commented , seemingly genuine in the compliment as her eyes roved over my features. 

“ Um.. thanks?” I shrugged, not particularly flattered by the extravagant description.  

The poets in my clan tended to be a bit overdramatic at times. 

. She laughed.

“Are you unavailable for the night, then Jeon?” She turned her flashing eyes on him .

My jaw nearly dropped.

Did this bitch really just proposition-

“Afraid so.... Raincheck?” Jungkook smiled wide and he looked so beautiful that I had to bit my lips to stop from moaning. 

Helena waved softly, eyes shifting back to me.

“Be safe, little human. When the sun goes down, the ghouls come out to play.” She grinned wide, letting her fangs grow long, past her lower lip, eyes red and bloody. 

I stared right back. She laughed and waved before floating away into the night. 

Jungkook chuckled. 

“You’re not intimidated by us, then.” He said mildly as we began walking again.

“I spent the entirety of my childhood playing with vampires. Do you really think they didn’t spend every waking hour trying to scare me to death?” 

He gave me soft smile, and then went back to staring straight ahead. 

I relaxed when the familiar cottage came into view, the sound of laughing kids reaching me. 

I held my hand out for the backpack and Jungkook gave it to me.

“I’ll just check out the backyard and see if al the gates are secure and then I’ll be right outside the door, alright? Call out if you need me...” He said sharply 

“Will you come even if I call you oppa?” I bit my lips, grinning and he flicked my nose. 

“Behave.” He said shortly. I sighed.

“I’m not a kid, you know.” I said softly and he gave me a look.

“You are to me. Now get inside.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“There’s a monster behind the tree and I’m Hawkeye because I have the bow and arrow and Jieun is the princess.” Joowon said brightly, showing off the toy bow and arrow in his hand and I grinned, taking in his exquisite features. He looked strikingly like his father , except for the two adorable dimples that showed up everytime he smiled.

“That’s amazing... do you like fighting monsters?” I asked with a grin holding my arms out for him and he hugged me happily.

“Yes, I like fighting monsters and I like Mr. Pepper.” He waved the stuffed bunny in my face. 

“Make sure you keep him safe, alright? “ I stroked the soft skin of the 

“So what color does your daddy like?” I asked with a grin. I felt a sharp kick on my shin and I turned to my sister. 

“Don’t use the fucking kid for your sinful aims, you dingbat!” She hissed and I glared at her. 

“I did no such thing...I was just making conversation....” I hissed back.

“Dad likes black.” Joowon answered dutifully and I ruffled his hair. Jieun appeared then, having waited for her prince and gotten bored. She tugged on Joowon’s arm and I let him go, watching the two of them run off. 

“Its only been a month, Sera.... I think you should tone down the infatuation. You know dad would never approve.” My sister said gently and I frowned.

“No he won’t, Dad loves me , he wants me to be happy.” I said shortly. 

“Yes, but not with Jungkook. He’s a rogue vampire. He doesn’t have a clan. He has a kid ...”

“An angel of a kid...”

“he has a kid whose mother he had to kill because she was a bloodthirsty witch.” 

i stared at my sister feeling anger build inside me.

“What does any of that have to do with how I feel about him?” I demanded , moving to stop one of the littles from tripping over a stray rubik’s cube. 

“ You’re special. You’re being courted by some of the richest, most powerful  vampires in the country and you want to go after the rogue , broke vampire who’s only here because he needs the money and the safety of our clan?” 

“I’m not having this conversation with you.” I said firmly.

Somi sighed.

“I’m just saying. Don’t be so blatantly open about your feelings. You’ll be putting a target on Jungkook’s back.” 

I exhaled sharply. 

“If anyone tries to hurt him, they die.” I said softly.

Somi chuckled.

“I know.... but still, he’s not looking for trouble. Don’t bring it to his doorstep.” 

I didn’t reply, moving quickly to the other side of the room. 

the words left a bitter taste on my tongue.

Mostly because my sister was right. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i stared at the tall strapping vampire, trying to comprehend what I was hearing.

“What do you mean he isn’t here for the night?” I demanded. 

“He’s a little tired. He told me had a little too much to drink and he wants to sleep it off. I’ll be here instead ... Just for tonight.” He tried to smile reassuringly and I was momentarily distracted by very deep dimples  but I could feel myself fuming. 

“and he didn’t think of saying that to me himself? He had to run off while i was closing up the cottage?” I glared. 

The Vampire chuckled. 

“He told me you might protest.”

“Of course i protest, I feel safer with him...” I said sharply.

The Vampire gave me a deep sigh.

“I’ve been doing this for three centuries, Miss Hwang. You’re definitely safe with me.” He bowed his head.

“What’s your name?” I demanded. 

“Kim Namjoon.” 

“Fine , Kim Namjoon ssi.... Let’s go. “ 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Giving Namjoon the slip was a lot easier than I thought. I waited for him to greet my great uncle, and slipped between two waiters carrying blood cocktails and weaved into the crowd easily. 

Jungkook’s bedroom was next to mine and it took me less than a minute to race up the stairs and to his room.

i banged on the door , determined to see for myself just how drunk he’d gotten. 

The door opened and i took a deep breath.

“How dare you leave me-” 

I froze when I realized that he was shirtless, fresh out of the shower. Water dripped down his torso , like little starbursts of liquid light and my mouth went dry. I swallowed, staring at the tightly packed abs, the dip of his v line as it disappeared into a fluffy white towel.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He growled angrily.

My eyes flew to meet his and then my gaze caught something red on his bed and I peered over his shoulder.

Pain lanced through my heart so sharp that I felt like I’d taken a fucking brick to my chest. 

The sight of Helena, naked except for a red bra, stretched out on his bed got burned into my brain and I choked.

“You-” I began but he grabbed my arm, so hard that I knew I would bruise. He yanked me away from the threshold of his room, dragging me to the middle of the hallway as he slammed the door to his room shut.

“Where the fuck is Namjoon?”

“You ditched me to get laid? “ I hissed in disbelief.

“I can’t fucking believe you’re doing this-”

“Is she your girlfriend-”

“Sera-” he shook me again but I refused to back down. I had to know.

“Are you in love with her?!!!” I demanded, my heart breaking .

Jungkook growled.

“It’s none of your damned business!!” He snapped angrily .

“It is !!” I said shrilly.

“Why on earth-”

“Because I’m in love with you!!” I shouted and he froze. 

He let go of me like he’d been burned and stepped back, staring at me wide eyed,. 

“What did you just say?” He demanded.

“I want you. I want you to court me-”

“Sera stop.” He said sharply 

“I’m not joking...I like you and-”

“Shut up.” He growled, his voice shaking. 

I swallowed.

“If you say something as asinine as that to me , ever again... I  will  make you regret it. ” He warned softly.

I felt my heart jerk in panic.

“Jungkook-”

“It’s Mr. Jeon to you!!!” He growled. 

I bit my lips, staring at my feet.

“I’m going to pretend this never happened. You’re going to go to your room and wait for Namjoon. If anything like this ever happens again, I’m telling your father.” 

I laughed bitterly.

“I’m not fucking twelve years old you son of a bitch. Stop talking to me like I’m your toy or something !” I snarled.

“If you were my toy I would fucking spank you till you cry and lock you in a damn room!” He hissed. 

I flinched.

He took a deep shaky breath. 

“This never happened.” He said sharply. “ I’m not one of your boytoys. I have no interest in fledgling humans who know nothing about life. That's not the kind of woman I’m looking for. You’re not the kind of woman I’m looking for because you aren’t even a woman yet.” 

“ Jungkook !!!” Namjoon’s voice rang through the hallway and I stepped back. 

“Have a good night with your whore, Mr. Jeon.” I snapped, before turning on my heel and leaving. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : Hot DILF! Vampire Jungkook is hot.  This brings back fond memories of me panting after my husband as a nineteen year old brat . I was a devilish teenager smitten with a twenty seven year old man. Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed :D

#jungkook #jeon jungguk #jeon jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook fics #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook vampire #jungkook vampire au #jungkook reaction #bts vampire au #bts smut #bts au

[heavenunderthemoon]

A fic request for Emily and daughter!! Where you are dating a guy and have not told her and she finds out when she comes to you and your boyfriend making out on the couch

“My mom would kill me if she found out I had a boy over. And then she’d resuscitate me, and then kill me again.” You said with a sigh, scrolling through the movie options on the flatscreen.

Harry gave a low chuckle, throwing another piece of popcorn in his mouth.

Harry. You thought dreamily.

You had known him since you were about twelve, a rather annoying boy in your physical education class. You recalled the various times in which the two of you were captains for your respective teams in that class, the rivalries and the fights that ensued. How long had it taken for the two of you to realize that the hatred stemmed from tiny little crushes on each other? Looking at him now, his curly hair overflowing into his eyes- something you adored because it meant you had an excuse to touch it, moving it out of his eyes- you couldn’t imagine hating him.

The two of you had only begun dating three months ago, your mother still didn’t know. You had planned on telling her the minute it became official, really, you had, but she had gone away on a case that night and you didn’t want to tell her over the phone. So then you postponed for when she would be back, staying up late until her flight landed, making her dinner, telling her that way. But, when she had come back you found the case had been a really difficult one and the wariness on your mother’s face, the pure exhaustion, had your lips sealed.

And it went on. Everytime you meant to tell her was just bad timing - and you needed good timing, because your mother really didn’t like Harry. Alright, that wasn’t fair. She didn’t even know Harry, she had never event met him, but you knew she wouldn’t like the idea of him. Your mother wanted you to like nice boys, prim and proper boys, smart boys who had crystal clean records and good intentions and Harry was a little far from the mark.

Harry wasn’t a horrible person, you knew that. He was misunderstood, incredibly so. His past wasn’t very kind to him, and he acted out frequently because of it. He likes to read and write and paint (he was rather good at it but he really only painted for you just to see the smile on your face when he did). He got detentions and was caught stealing (clothes for his little sister, and they let him off with a warning). He rode a motorcycle he found in the dump and fixed up himself, and he was a little rough around the edges appearance wise. But damn, was he good to you. He was caring, like the kind of caring where he always walked you home from school, no matter what. He offered you rides on his motorcycle (even bought a pretty helmet that had plastic bunny ears on the top bc you liked bunnies and he thought you would like it), but you refused. If your mother found out you rode a motorcycle you were sure she’d have a heart attack right then and there. And he was kind. Everytime Emily was away he called you to make sure everything was okay, talking as you walked through the house and double checked all the locks, and sometimes even read to you over the phone until you fell asleep. He wrote you poems and slipped them in your textbooks when he held them on the way to class, and he gave you flowers when you least expected them -no occasion, just because.

He was a boy, a boy you loved, and that was enough to make Emily go a little crazy and you knew that so you kept him away. You kept him a secret. Your little secret love, a piece of you, hidden away and locked up tight.

And that was why he was here, at your house on a Thursday evening. Your mother was off on a case, she had only been gone two days and when Harry had called you, asking how you were (he had been home for the past three days, his sister sick with the flu), you told him how much you missed him. Next thing you knew he was showing up on your doorstep with all your favorite snacks and the gesture had you flinging yourself into him, squeezing him tightly. It hadn’t mattered to you that Emily might get mad because how would she even know? She had been gone for two days, which meant she probably wouldn’t be back for at least another one. You and Harry could have this night.

So, despite the uneasiness in your stomach, you let him in.

“She wouldn’t kill me first? Or is she saving the best for last?” He asked thoughtfully, eyes turning to you. Oh you loved when he looked at you like that, a look thrown your way, a look filled with such...trust. Devotion. Love.

You sighed wistfully. “Me first. She’d be beside herself at the very thought that I hid something from her. She hates lying.”

He snorted. “A little rich coming from an FBI agent. Isn’t her job centered around lying?”

You rolled your eyes, throwing a popcorn at him. He was right. Your mother lied as a profession, bluffing that she had more information than she really did, or even lying that she was dead as the two of you foed to Paris. That hadn’t been very fun. She lied all the time. But that was to protect people. You were just protecting yourself.

“I just feel bad. I don’t want you to think I’m ashamed of you. I just don’t want you to feel her wrath. She’s a lot..you know? She means well she’s just protective.”

Harry didn’t know. He didn’t really get that parents should be protective because he didn’t really have any. Just a dead beat dad that drank himself into a stupor every night and was typically found passed out on the couch. He didn’t get that parents were supposed to love and nurture, and the fact that you had that seemed foreign, but he tried to understand, for you. And you knew that.

He nodded with a frown. “She doesn’t have to protect you from me, though. I would never hurt you. If you ever asked me to go, to leave, all you’d have to do is say the word and I’m gone. But I love you and you love me, our relationship doesn’t concern her.” He wasn’t snippy, just speaking softly, as if not to scare you away because he knew how much you loved Emily and he didn’t want to scare you away by speaking about her badly.

You smiled softly, taking his hand in his. The remote remained abandoned on the table that you had set it upon and he removed the popcorn bowl from his lap, setting it on the table as well, giving you his full attention. “It doesn’t but it also does. She’s my mom, she’s...I don’t know, it’s weird. I shouldn’t need her approval. I don’t. But I want it. I want her to know you, and not just surface level background checks, I want her to know the Harry that I know.”

He scoffed with a smirk. “Oh, you think you know me?” And a twinkle in his eyes showed you a twinge of fear, a fear that maybe you did. That you knew him better than anyone he had ever known. And it was the twinkle that made you nod.

“I do.” You responded confidently, and there was only silence in the room for a small moment. A moment where Harry’s heart was racing, and he was sure it was loud enough for you to hear it, and a moment where you were searching his eyes for an acceptance. Acceptance that he wouldn’t get scared away just because you knew him, knew every part of him, because you knew that it was something he tended to do. He tended to back away when he felt exposed and you were praying that he knew he didn’t have to do that with you.

Finally, he nodded, lips pursing. “Alright. Well then we’ll tell her when she gets back.”

“We?” You asked skeptically, because the thought of him and Emily in the same room had been something you had been trying to avoid for so long.

And he nodded once more. “We. Together. I’ll wear a suit and you can wear that pretty little black dress and I’ll come for dinner. I’ll knock on the door- not ring the bell because that’s a little prentious-“ you giggled and he smiled at the sound. “And I’ll bring her flowers, compliment her home,”

“Compliment her home?”

He gave you an incredulous look. “Well I can’t very well tell her that I’ve been here now can I? Besides, it’s what they do in books. I figure it’s how I’ll make a good impression. And I’ll tell her how very much I adore her daughter.” He set his chin, a blazing look in his eyes, the kind that made you think he might be invincible. One that made you think he could do anything and damn would you follow him to the depths of the earth as long as he had that look.

With newfound confidence, you grinned. “Oh? And just what, pray tell, do you adore about me?” And there was a certain impish tone in your voice that had him smirking mischievously.

He leaned closer, burning his hand up to caress your cheek. “Hmm, well, I love your eyes,” He wiped underneath them, his warm hands making delicious contact with your face. “The way I can literally see into your mind with them. You’re awful at hiding your emotions and just one look into those beautiful little orbs, I know everything I need to know.”

Your breath hitched as he leaned closer. “What else?”

“I love your lips.” And his finger was tracing the contours of your own, claiming his territory. “How you’re never afraid to speak your mind, those words of passion, or humor, or hatred tumbling from your plump lips, ones that I very much like to kiss.” And he bent down and pecked you, lingering just a moment longer to nibble on your bottom lip.

You let out a shaky breath, eyes fluttering shut as you forced them back open. “Is that all?”

He had that god awful smirk on his face and you forced yourself to look away. “Everything about you, baby. Your wit, your determination, your compassion,” and with each word he was peppering your jaw with a kiss and finally you gave out, grabbing his face in yours and crashing your lips onto his. He was grinning into the kiss, savoring his victory but not for long. You wouldn’t let him win.

You flipped positions, pushing him slightly and straddling the boy. Your lips were ferocious against his, a mess of passion and intensity and his hand was going to your sides, sliding under your shirt and running upward. Everywhere he touched was set instantly on fire and you moaned into his lips.

And just as you were about to take it a step further, the door opened. You flew off the boy, landing onto your ass with a groan. Harry was springing upward, readjusting his hoodie and hair, though it was no use. Your hands had gone rampant through his curls and it would take an actual brush to fix it. Both of your lips were swollen from your previous activities, clothes a bit ruffled, and the look on Emily’s face made your heart stop.

She was looking at Harry, and then you, and then back to Harry with an unreadable expression on her face.

She was home. Home incredibly early, and her bag was discarded at her feet, dropped when she saw you and Harry.

No one was speaking, Harry was looking at you as for what to do, Emily was just staring and you...you were standing from your post on the floor, going to Harry’s side as if you protect him. “Mom, this is Harry-you’re home-“ You swallowed when her lips pursed. “He, um-we were- He’s my boyfriend.” And then a look you did recognize appeared on her face.

Fury.

“Harry, you can go home.”

Your mouth went dry. This was not how this was supposed to happen. Harry turned to you, eyes questioning if that was what y oh wanted, if you wanted him to leave and with a mournful smile you nodded, walking him to the door. He mouthed an “I love you” which you returned before shutting it.

“You had a boy over.”

“Mom-“

“A boyfriend, come to find. How long have you been seeing this boy?”

You winced. “Three months. But we were going to tell you, he was going to knock on the door-“ And you were beginning to ramble with panic as she cut you off.

“Three months? Three months of you sneaking around behind my back? And when I’m gone you do...that.” She was shaking her head in disbelief, hand going over her face.

“We weren’t sneaking I just...He came over tonight and that was an anomaly, we don’t do that-“

She scoffed. “And I’m supposed to believe you? You want me to believe anything that comes out of your mouth when you’ve been lying to me for months?” You stayed silent, swallowing. “Go to your room. We’ll discuss this in the morning.”

“Mom-“

“Go.”

You sighed, turning on your heel and walking off.

#criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss #emily prentiss x daughter!reader

[ravenbrenna09]

Jij Verliest - Chapter Eight: Clips 3&4

master list

...

note: decided to drop two clips today because one was just texts; also as much as I want to italicize the texts, I’m not going to because Tumblr never gets all of them :/

also, mild spoilers for the the first part of Pokémon Sword and Shield

...

Maandag 14:11

Broerrrs + Luc

20 July, 14:11

Robbe: What are you guys doing on Wednesday?

Jens: Uh, I’m working that night. But not until like 19:00.

Lucas: I’m working that morning.

Jens: Really?

Lucas: Yeah.

Aaron: I don’t have to work.

Moyo: Me either.

Jens: Lucky you.

Lucas: Why?

Robbe: Because Sander wants to meet you guys. And he gets off at 16:00 on Wednesday.

Jens: Wait really?

Robbe: Yeah. Do you have a problem with it?

Jens: What? No, of course not. I guess I just didn’t expect it to be so soon. Especially after everything that happened.

Robbe: I know, but I want him to meet you guys. Officially. As my boyfriend.

Aaron: Awww, Robbe has a boyfriend.

Robbe: I’ve said he’s my boyfriend multiple times.

Lucas: Yeah, he literally won’t shut up about it.

Robbe: I’m sorry. How many times do you talk about Jens?

Lucas: :)

Aaron: I know, but it’s still new and I’m allowed to be excited.

Moyo: That’s true. We’re excited. And Wednesday sounds good to me. Noor and I are going out tonight.

Jens: Have fun! Wednesday sounds good to me too. Am I going to like him still after everything?

Lucas: Yes.

Jens: Oh really?

Lucas: One look at how he makes Robbe happy and you’ll like him again.

Robbe: I didn’t realize you stopped.

Lucas: He didn’t. He just says that he does. He’s gotta be all macho and protective.

Jens: You like me when I’m macho and protective.

Aaron: VDS at it again.

Moyo: You’re still in the group chat?

Jens: And? I can flirt with my boyfriend when I want to. Even in the group chat.

Robbe: I’m screenshotting that.

Aaron: What for?

Robbe: For when we eventually add Sander to this chat. And Jens tells me not to flirt with my boyfriend. I have proof that I can flirt in the group chat.

Jens: Are we adding Sander to the group chat? We haven’t even met him officially yet. And we never added Thomas to it. 

Robbe: I know, but I have a feeling about this one. Plus, I know you guys already like him anyways. Especially Aaron.

Aaron: That’s true.

Jens: In love Robbe is my favorite Robbe.

Moyo: Yeah.

Lucas: Agreed.

Robbe: Thanks guys.

…

Dinsdag 19:25

It had been on Robbe’s mind for awhile—days, weeks even. It was time for something different.

At least for Tuesday. 

Tonight, Sander was going over to Britt’s parents’ house. It had been an unexpected and last-minute invite from her parents and Sander was asked to come. Britt had messaged Robbe about it, asking if it was okay, and Robbe had said that it was. It still felt a little weird—as weird as his boyfriend pretending to be dating his ex-girlfriend could be—but that wasn’t why Robbe was upset. But, Robbe didn’t even know if ‘upset’ was the word he should be using… Disappointed? Maybe.

It wasn't about Sander going over to Britt’s. It was Sander going over to Britt’s tonight. 

Changing up his streams had been on Robbe’s mind for a few weeks and yesterday afternoon, after playing numerous matches that were just like all the others, he finally decided that he wanted to do it. At least for one day. When Britt had asked—followed shortly by Sander’s call—he thought of pushing the change off until later but, at the same time, Robbe didn’t want to. 

Since that Friday night, Robbe had been itching to play Pokémon Sword and Shield, the newest generation in the franchise. With their buzzed and love-drunk minds, they hadn’t really gotten very far into the game. Every once in a while, they would pause to kiss and it would end up a little more handsy than originally planned. Once they managed to pull themselves away, they would barely make any progress before they would tumble back against the bed, kissing each other. 

So Robbe went out and bought a Nintendo Switch after his Monday night stream. Because Sander had a copy of Pokémon Shield—he remembered the opening title scene quite vividly—Robbe chose the opposite version before looking through to see what other games were compatible with the console. Once he got his new purchase home, he spent the majority of the evening setting it up with the help of YouTube videos. Zoë had brought him a plateful of spaghetti as he was knee-deep in cords. 

Once he woke up on Tuesday morning, Robbe put the finishing touches to make sure that everything would run smoothly—or as smoothly as it could without going live. Even though Robbe had informed them that he was going to do something different, his nerves were still running high, bouncing in his chest. For years, Fortnite had been the only thing that Robbe streamed. So the bulk of his audience would expect Fortnite from him.

Before he started the stream, his phone vibrated loudly against the desk, pulling his gaze from the computer in front of him.

Sander: Have a good stream, baby. I’m hoping to catch the end. If not, I’ll watch it before bed.

A flood of warmth shot through Robbe and soothed all of the erratic nerves in his chest. Unconsciously adjusting his headphones, Robbe typed out a quick message.

Robbe: Have a good dinner. Text me when you get home.

Sander: I will <3

Once Robbe placed his phone to the side, glancing at Sander’s framed sketch, he started the stream. Even though he was still nervous, it was all for nothing. To his surprise, a majority of his regular audience were excited to see him play through Sword for the first time. On the other hand, there were still a handful of people who weren’t excited. Before they left the chat, they made passive aggressive comments about going to watch a Fortnite streamer, and the comments stung a little. Thankfully, the majority of his audience encouraged him and he started the game with little fuss. 

On that Friday evening with Sander, they had chosen the water-type starter, Sobble. While Robbe thought that the anxious salamander (or chameleon?) was adorable, he ended up choosing the Scorbunny this time around, which he named Flint. The white bunny with a bandage on his nose had interested him. Plus, if he and Sander were going to continue with Sobble, he wanted to do something different with this one. Once he hit the first route of the game, Robbe caught a Rookidee, which he named Alloy. It was a small bird that looked angry but would eventually evolve into a Corviknight. 

When Robbe finally reached the Wild Area, the vast area between cities—and, he learned, Pokémon’s first step into an open world—Robbe paused to consider getting the online services to connect with his viewers who had Pokémon. After a few minutes, he decided to wait until later in the game before he got the online services. Plus, he wanted to look into the other games on the Switch so he could do what they were temporarily dubbing “Nintendo Tuesday.”

As Robbe prepared to enter the Opening Ceremonies for the first time, his phone vibrated against the desk, drawing his attention. Rebel, Rebel played again as Sander’s text message popped up on the screen. 

Sander: Baby, buzz me in. 

Pulling down his headphones, he barely could make out the buzzer in the hallway. It was still going—which meant that no one else was home. “Umm,” Robbe said, placing his controller on the desk. His character was mid-conversation with a stadium worker and his chat was moving very quickly. “Sorry, I’m going to take my five-minute break now.” 

Muting his microphone and placing his headphones on the desk, Robbe shot out of his bedroom door and hit the buzzer on the front door. It only took nearly a full minute for Sander to arrive at the front door, knocking lightly, and Robbe opened it impatiently to find him there on his doormat. Sander was dressed in a long-sleeve black button-up with a pair of skinny jeans. His cheeks were flushed, likely from the heat. 

As soon as the door opened, Sander stepped into the apartment and kissed him hurriedly. His skin was hot to the touch—and a little sweaty–but Robbe didn’t mind, bringing him closer against him. Sander wrapped his arms around Robbe’s waist before pulling back. “Hi, baby.”

“Hey,” Robbe said, beaming. 

“I’m sorry for interrupting your stream,” he said. “I just really wanted to see you.” 

“Is everything okay?” Robbe asked. 

“Yeah,” Sander said, squeezing his waist. “Everything is fine. While we were at dinner, her parents asked us if we were really dating because we never kissed in front of them. When her father tried to force us to kiss to prove that we weren’t faking it, Britt exploded. She got into a fight with her dad and I could only watch with her mom as they fought. In the end, she came out to her parents.”

Robbe felt his eyes grow wide, pulling back. “What?”

Sander nodded. “Yeah, I didn’t tell you before because she wasn’t ready yet. But when I took her to my apartment and was going to come over here, she let me know that I could tell you. She’s been in a relationship with her girlfriend for six months. Her parents were always a little overbearing and controlling in her life and tonight was the last straw. She packed a bag and she’s staying in Noor’s bedroom until she figures out what to do.”

“Wow,” Robbe said. “I’m so sorry.”

Sander shrugged with a sad look on his face. “It’s been a long time coming. Since she’s found out, she’s been a ticking time bomb with her parents. They always talked about her being with a good guy—even when she was with me, both real and fake—and she internalized all of it. Every time, she got a little closer until it was too much.”

Robbe nodded. He understood that feeling. In high school, he exploded at the Broerrrs. He had been going through so much—his mother in the hospital and his repressed feelings that he refused to acknowledge to even himself—until one day it was too much. Thankfully, he had Milan and Zoë to help him. The Broerrrs forgave his explosion and changed when they realized how much Robbe was hurt by their words. Avoiding Sander’s gaze, he mumbled, “I know what it’s like… to explode.” 

Sander nodded, pressing a kiss to Robbe’s forehead. For a second, they simply rocked in the silence of the foyer. Soon, Sander ducked his head down to press a kiss against Robbe’s lips and he arched against Sander’s chest. Robbe stood on his toes, wrapping his arms around Sander’s neck, and kissed him back. Sander wrapped his arms tighter around Robbe, bringing him flush against his chest, as he dug his fingers into his hair. 

Pulling back, Sander kissed his nose. “You better get back to your stream. I just really wanted to see you.”

“They can wait a little more,” Robbe said.  

“Yeah, but you don’t want to keep them waiting forever,” Sander said grinning. Placing one more kiss on his lips, he moved back to the front door. As Sander reached to open the door and step outside, Robbe tugged him back against him and Sander looked at him confused. “What is it?” 

“You don’t have to leave,” Robbe said. Sander stared down at him with half-lidded eyes and Robbe swallowed his nerves. “You can stay here and come on the stream with me—or hang out in my room if you feel more comfortable with that.” A small smile grew on Sander’s face. “Besides, I need your expertise about my stream and I’d love to have you with me.”

“Didn’t you say last week that I would be distracting?”

“Maybe,” Robbe said, tilting his head back. Sander stared at him with a sly smile on his face. “Maybe I also changed my mind about you being distracting. But you have to promise to be on your best behavior.” 

“Okay,” Sander said, gripping his hips tightly. “I’d love to join. But I don’t know how much help I’m going to be with Fortnite and online matches. All I know is what you’ve told me or I’ve heard on your streams.” 

Robbe smiled, pressing a kiss to his lips before moving to the kitchen. “I’ll be back soon. I still need to grab a glass of water or I’m not going to be able to make it the rest of the stream without another break.” 

When Robbe returned to his bedroom, Sander had kicked off his shoes and unbuttoned his shirt, exposing the black shirt he had beneath it. His bag had been discarded at the foot of the bed. There was an emotional look on his face as he turned to Robbe who stepped into the doorway. 

“You’re playing Pokémon?” Robbe nodded, relishing when Sander closed the distance and pressed another kiss to his lips. Even with a full glass of water in his hands, Robbe wasted no time in wrapping his free arm around his shoulders and kissing him back. When they separated, Sander grinned. “Lucky for you, Mr. IJzermans, I’m quite the Pokémon expert.”

Robbe smiled, stealing another fleeting kiss. “Lucky me.” 

#wtfock #wtfam #jij verliest #robbe ijzermans #sander driesen #twitch streamer!robbe #tattoo artist!sander #sobbe #rosander #they're in love

[lgcmax]

𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐎 ! i’m coming to you with a very late intro, i know, but i swear i’m not usually this unprepared !! anyways, my name is jada, and this is my chaotic baby maxwell “ MAX ” choi ! i love him to death already and can’t wait to start writing with him ! i was here long ago with the short-lived yet beloved zhao chenglei, but life got in the way ! the two are very different, yet i’m even more stoked to be here the second time around & get things going ! i did create him kind of spontaneously, so his plots & bio page is still wip, but you can find his profile here, and some trivia & plot bunnies below ! oh, and LIKE THIS if you’d like to plot, maybe ? i’ll stop talking now, but i hope to hear from you soon !

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 !

first generation canadian who hails from toronto, canada ! a snow baby forever and always, he loved living there and has nothing but good memories there !

he was born maxwell choi, and he’s still called that by family and some old friends, but once he got to middle school he felt the name was too fancy and wasn’t fitting so dropped the “well” and just became MAX !

though he’s canadian, he’s never really felt he was lacking in terms of his korean identity ! both his parents were born and raised there, korean is actually his first language, and he was taught english through school. since he was two he’s been going to korea for the summer to visit his family, too,  so he’s always felt really connected to his culture !

his dad’s a car salesman at his own dealerhsip, and his mom’s an attorney, so he’s lived a really comfortable life. it’s easy to see where his charisma comes from, too ! growing up his dad was more involved in his upbringing, while his mom was on the colder side, so he’s closer to him as he’s the one who was the most loving toward him then and now !

he was expected to take over his dad’s position at the dealership when he was older, but as he grew up he noticed his absolute lack of passion for the career. he thought it fit his dad well, yet couldn’t see him doing something like that !

but during his teenage years he discovered his love for rap ! he always loved listening to it, but when he started rapping along he discovered his true passion.

he didn’t really know what to do with that, however, as it wasn’t a very stable career ! it wasn’t until 2016 when he met someone online through a video game & they became friends that things changed ! they would talk a lot & eventually they introduced him to the world of kpop and ... boom ! everything changed for him. when he realized it wasn’t all girls in frilly skirts ( which hey, wasn’t too bad either ) he found himself being engulfed in this entirely new music genre !

fast forward all the way to 2019, when he auditioned for the company ! it was in january, and there was no way he thought he was gonna make it. they were giving out cds to those who auditioned, and he really just wanted to hear some haru, but it was quite literally the biggest surprise of his life when he got accepted !

his mom was enitrely, and i mean e n t i r e l y, against the idea. she thought a career in the idol industry was fleeting and not profitable and thought it was an embarrassment for him to be apart of. while his father wasn’t thrilled and still has hopes for him to inherit the dealership, he was content seeing his son happy and hoped for his success.

so off max went, to the big city of seoul !! unlike some foreign trainees it wasn’t some great transition for him, in fact he adjusted pretty well ! he had the benefit of being well-travelled and having visited the country often, as well as being comfortable in his korean.

it wasn’t all peaches and roses, however, and he did have some difficulty ! it was the first time he was coming to stay, so he had a tendency to get homestick, and despite everything, he still stuck out. he had a lot of mannerisms, style choices, and just obvious indicators he was a foreigner. he also had to finish off the last semester of his senior year in korea, and he was bummed he missed out on those senior year experiences like graduation, senior parties, and just being with the people he’d grown up with !

whenever he was having trouble, he couldn’t really call home either, since he knew they doubted him and didn’t want to give them any more reason to ! he’s not really the type to share when he’s feeling down, so he really internalized a lot of his emotions at the time, and the bit that he didn’t he confided in with his few friends he’d made by then. definitely a bit of a rough patch for him !

he also may have had some trouble getting along with trainees ! he has a very blunt & extroverted personality, which didn’t really fit with typical korean social norms !

 aside from that, max was a LOT more chill than some of these people. he was passionate about rapping, but some trainees were “debut-or-die” level and he just wasn’t that far ! he’d just kind of look at them like .... why are you making this such a big deal ? i’m just here to have fun ?? so he had a tendency to slack off a lot during the first few months of training and try to bend the rules as much as he could behind the trainer’s backs without getting caught ! which i can imagine would get on some trainee’s nerves.

he does go to university, a condition by his parents for letting him go to korea. he’s a music production major and marketing minor at the moment, but he’s changed his mind quite a few times ! honestly, he’s not all that interested in attending school, but doesn’t have much of a choice and knows it’s an important backup should this whole idol thing not work ! he does enjoy the social life he gets from it, though, because he would’ve had a much harder time adjusting and meeting friends had he not been in school.

now, he’s still pretty sluggish, but after a few company punishments, he’s shaping up and learning how to work harder. he just passed his year anniversary training with the company, and though he has a lot to learn he’s showed promise in his time there !

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 !

very extroverted !!! and he always has been. he feels really comfortable and large environments and is the main reason he thrives as an idol ! can and will pick up a conversation with just about anyone, particularly those who aren’t like him but rather on the more introverted spectrum !

like stated before, he doesn’t really like talking about his emotions if they’re personal / negative. it makes him uncomfortable & awkward and thinks it makes everyone else feel that way too, so avoids it like the plague. if he’s emotional with you ... you’re a keeper !

tends to make light out of every scenario, due to his optimistic nature. he has the mentality that life’s too short to be stressed, so does his best to avoid it whenever he gets the chance ! it can be appropriate at times, and sometimes people perceive it as him not taking things seriously, but really he’s trying to make things better !

a little cocky, considering his lack of experience. he kind of thinks he’s the s***, and he honestly could use a little more humility ! but he’s used to being held on this sort of pedestal, and because of it has a looot of confidence a lot of the time !

very loyal, once you befriend him he’s yours for life ! he values trust and longevity in a friendship, so does his all to give it to you. on the other hand, if you lose his trust, things .... get a little disastrous. he isn’t one to forgive something like that and will quite literally block someone out his life if they do break his trust.

on that note ... he’s also very stubborn !! he likes things the way he wants them, and can hold a grudge for years if he wants to. this is one of the exceptions to his “ hakuna matata ” mentality lmao, but he’s working on it ! he used to have trouble accepting criticism from trainers if he didn’t agree with them, but is slowly getting better at listening to feedback in order to improve.

tends to be a little manipulative ! he doesn’t mean to use it maliciously, but it does sometimes go like that. like i said, he’s got that desire to win other’s over to get what he wants like his parents, so ... that can translate into a little deception !

loves loves loves video games !!! will talk about them all day, if you ask. he’s been hooked ever since the first time he got a controller in his hand and is always looking for some new gaming buddies !

has a secret tiktok account that he can’t really publicize but people have to know ?? he just renegades too good not to have some practice folks

he compulsively says “ let’s get it ” and “ boom ” like the joke he is and it’s a problem, really !! someone please call him out or just .... stop him

also !! he is entirely too CLUMSY for his good. he trips over people, trips over his own limbs, trips over a i r !! there’s just no telling with this guy. he’s so stupid when it comes to coordination, i swear, i almost worry he needs to see a doctor lmao !! but thank god for his clumsiness coming in handy at the exact moment he needs to have a little humility.

𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐒 !

the friend he played video games with who introduced him to kpop ( see above ) !! they’ve been friends for roughly 3 years now and they’re the reason he even considered pursuing a career as an idol, so i imagine they’ve grown pretty close ! since they played online, this person doesn’t have to be from canada, and really any muse that knew korean or english well enough to communicate back then ! 

are there any canadian muses ?? i’m not sure ! if there is, i’d love to have some childhood friends who he grew up with ! give me all the angst, softness, or romance that you can muster up !! i love a good backstory.

some friends who he spent the summers in korea with ! he visited june through august of every year, and sometimes spent other holiday breaks there. so there’s definitely a chance for them to grow close ! maybe even a short-lived romance where they hadn’t expected to meet again ??

a senior / older trainee who showed max the ropes ! while he knew a good deal about korea he didn’t have a clue about being a trainee, so definitely could’ve used a bit of help there !! unintentionally this person became a sort of parental figure to max, even if they didn’t mean to or if they’re not significantly older ! either way, they were his first real source of support since the move, and nowadays he’s still very close to them and looks to them for any sort of help or advice he needs !

pleeeeease give him a little crush !! he goes out his way to impress those that he likes, and turns into a true softie !! on the other hand, a bitter exes plot or even exes on good terms could be fun too ! can you tell i’m a romantic yet ? 😥

someone who’s entirely put off by the thought of max ! someone who, unlike him, is planned, logical, or very cutthroat and passionate about becoming an idol ! give me someone to nitpick him for his lifestyle, and someone for him to bicker with and just create a little drama !! 

video game buddies !! he doesn’t have the whole setup like he used to back home, but he does nearly always have his switch on him if your muse is in the mood for a little friendly competition !! fair warning .... he does get competitive !

male dorm h and male rookie evening trainee group gang, let’s go !! that’s a lot to say, but in simple terms, if your muse trains or dorms with him let’s get something going ! max is still a new trainee and needs some friends to spend the long days with, he promises to  make it worth their while !! max has the power of making nearly every scenario entertaining, after all !

#lgc:intro #this is so late i'm sorry :c #but i filled this to the brim with content !! #also tysm for the cute welcomes !! i've heard my notifs going off & am getting to everything asap !! #also i'll rb this tomm !!

[laughing-with-god]

Pandemonium VI

Words; 5.1k

“And where would I be?  Feeling lonely...separated from my one and only.  So please, don’t take my love away.  Let my baby stay.” - Mac Demarco

“I mean...it is rather nice of him to do that.”

You shrugged at Kat, still on the fence on whether or not to have a positive or negative reaction to the anecdote.  

You had just informed her on the call you had received just a couple of hours ago, the one concerning a certain artist paying off your mom’s medical bills.  

Even you (a very stubborn person) had to admit that having that expense paid was a giant weight off you and your families’ shoulders.

But at what cost?  

You recalled his cunning and sly smiles, further proof that his intentions may not be all that innocent.  All you needed to find out was his motive for doing this. That would connect this puzzle and ease your mind of the enigma that was Taehyung.  But the more you thought about it, the more puzzled you became. He was flirtatious but just you thought someone was cute, doesn’t mean it will justify paying off their injured mothers’ medical bill (that was at least a couple grand).  

But, this was a rich kid you were talking about.  

Money was as familiar to him as water was to fish.  

He spent thousands like you spent monopoly money.  Little to no care of real life consequences.

“I just wish for some context.  Like what the fuck?” You asked your friend.  Kat just nodded as she walked beside you, half listening to you but half paying close attention to the shops you guys passed.  

“Yeah, it is very odd.  You did say this was Jimin’s younger brother, right?  Perhaps he heard about Jimin snapping and coming to our dorm so he figured he should apologise on Jimin’s behalf.”  At the mention of Jimin’s name, your face went stony and expressionless.

You didn’t want to tell Kat about your day, about how Jimin went so far as to show up outside your class, clearly looking for you.  You didn’t want to bring up his name ever again, especially in front of Kat. The last thing you wanted was for her to be reminded of your crazed sugar daddy and how he dared assault her.  Hell, you didn’t want to think about your craptastic day.

You just sighed and agreed to let the topic drop, for now at least.

“I guess that makes sense.  You’re very smart, Kat.”

She just laughed, used to you complimenting her IQ when you were just being over-dramatic and lacked the use of yours.  Suddenly, she stopped in her tracks which caused you to do so as well. Her elfish face looked up and grinned up at the sign of a certain small shop.  

“We’re here.”  

--

The overwhelming floral scent hit your nostrils, causing you to scrunch up your nose in slight disgust.  You never got why people hyped up the smell of flowers...the citrus and perfumey smell gave you a slight headache when given to you in heavy doses.

“Kat, I really don’t think this is needed.”  You murmured to you friend. She waved you off and guided you to the short line.  

“This place is the most well-known florist shop in our city, (Y/n).  Trust me, your aunt and mom will love this. And it’s always proper etiquette to send something when a family member is in the hospital.”

You rolled your eyes, “Sis, I literally spent days with her at the hospital.  I’m pretty sure I’m in the clear as far as etiquette goes.”

Kat wasn’t hearing it.  “Maybe after seeing our nice ass flowers, your aunt will get off your dick.”  She laughed while rubbing her hands together.

“Okay I’m gonna act like you’re not just using my mom’s accident as an excuse to look at some flowers.”  

If Kat heard you, she ignored it as she began to list off the different kinds of flowers that would be good in this situation.  She really was a tumblr bitch whom was addicted to these types of things. You fondly smiled, you rather her be like this than the way you saw her yesterday.  Shaken and afraid.

The line moved as one more customer was served.  At this moment, Kat’s phone rung and her cheerful face slid into a more somber expression.  

“I need to take this, it’s Cynthia.”  You let her go, knowing just how thin and frail the foundation of their relationship currently was.  Now you stood alone in the line, waiting for your turn.

With nothing to do, you couldn’t help but overhear the guy who was in front of you and talking to the worker.

“I don’t know much about flowers but I just need something to send to my friend, he just got married last week and I couldn’t make the wedding..” His voice was velvet smooth and neither high-pitched nor low.  

All you could see was the backside of this man.  He was tall and rather lean. Shoulders were wide, but they had a delicate droop downwards, giving his posture a relaxed but consecutive posture.  His neck was long (at least the back of it was) and sat on top of his head was a perfectly brushed mop of black hair.

The worker just nodded and began to work on getting an order together for him.  You supposed that they got that all the time, people just coming in and asking for flowers without knowing what is called for.  

“I can take the next person in line!”  

You moved up to the area beside the other worker and that mystery guy as an older lady waved you over to her work station.  “What can I do for you, sweets?”

Words were caught in your throat.  Fuck, it was Kat who was supposed to be doing all of this.  You decided to follow that other guys’ lead and just tell her the situation so she can come up with the appropriate set up.  

“Yeah, I need flowers delivered to my mother’s house.  She got into a car accident and I can’t be with her as much as I’d like.”  the older lady gave you a sympathetic look as she began to lay down some paper to wrap the the flowers in.  

“Do you have a particular color in mind?”  She asked, sensing your lack of knowledge. You shrugged.  

“I don’t know..  My friend mentioned doing something multi-colored?”  You trailed off, trying to recall bits of Kat’s rambling.  

“Well, we just got some lilies in.  They come in white, pink, red, orange and yellow.”  

“Can we do white and pink?”  She nodded and smiled.

“Did you mention this will be getting delivered? “  You nodded and she handed you a paper that needed to be filled out before heading towards the back to get the flowers.  

While putting down the address and zip code of your moms’ house, you couldn’t help but feel as though you were being watched.  

You looked over and it was the guy who was in front of you just moments before, instead this time he was facing you head on.

His face was long and slender, just like his body.   Chin was in a perfect V-shape, lips were wide and pink while currently being pulled back in a chesire grin. His teeth were tall and pure white. His nose was high rised, but had a smooth and perfect arch.  It was long without being too big and was weirdly the best nose you’ve ever seen. Although his face was slim, his cheeks held a good amount of flesh on them, and they caused his eyes to crinkled while smiling.  His eyes were ink-black, but deep set and held a glossy look over them that made them appear slightly watery. They were slightly swollen as well, giving them the appearance of cuteness and surrounded by dense eyelashes.  Sort of like an anime character. The man was currently wearing a denim jacket, white shirt and black jeans.

You made eye contact and he just continued to stare at you.

You huffed.

Why the fuck were men addicted to staring?  

“Can I help you?”  You called out.

He nodded, smiling even wider if possible.  

“What’s your name?”  

You rolled your eyes.  “What’s it to you?”

“I’ll pay for your order if you just give me your name.”  

Instinctively, before you can process it, you had said, “(Y/n).”

He took a step towards you, now peering down at you.  “Hello (Y/n), I’m Hoseok.”

You nodded but ignored his words and pushed the clipboard to him.  “So like right here is where the card information comes in. Don’t forget to tip the delivery person too!”  You shoved the paper in his face, making sure he won’t go back on his promise.

He laughed cheerfully, the sound like bells chiming as his eyes scrunched up to the point where you doubt he even could see through them, mouth widely ajar as more laughter escaped it.  

“Your very funny, (Y/n).”  He commented, looking at you up and down while still chuckling,  

You nodded but couldn’t help but notice that he had yet to fulfill his side of the deal.  You fake laughed but grabbed his hand and forcefully shoved him to the table along with the clipboard.  

“HAhahA, yeah so the order should come out to like 30 or something and I don’t know about shipping costs but like here’s the pen and if you can just sign here and there, that’d be great.”

He laughed but did it nonetheless, signing off on paying for the order.  Apparently, your pushiness was very humorous to him.

You gave hit back a pat on the back and said, “Thanks dude, but I gotta blast.”

He called out from behind you but you sprinted out of the shop, not wanting to give him the chance to regret paying for your flowers.  Kat was outside still on the phone, you just dragged her along with you down the street, promising to explain later.

As a wise woman once said; men ain’t shit but walking dick with wallets.  

--

“Is that really what you thought of me?”  He laughed hard, bunny smile evident and and rounded teeth poking out.

“Listen sis, I just know a fuckboy when I see one and all my alarms were going off when I spotted your steroids headass.”

“For the last time, I’m not on steroids.”

“Yeah, you prob just snort protein powder like it’s crack. “

Jungkook laughed harder at that, hunching over in his seat.  

At the moment, both of you were at the campus library.  You had agreed to meet up for the project, not willing to risk your grade being compromised just because your partner was someone less than ideal.  Also, he proved himself to be somewhat decent when he helped you sneak out when Jimin showed up. Quickly, you started to feel bad for assuming that he was trash.  Throughout the study date, it became apparent that he was stuck in a fuckboy body, what laid under that was actually an easily flustered dork.

“(Y/n), you’re hilarious.” He giggled. You shrugged at this.  You honestly weren’t that funny, people just didn’t expect girls to be able to crack decent jokes.

You two were sat at a table, side by side with papers and books spread out between you two.  The library had large bookshelves that surrounded you, so tall that they almost reached the high ceilings and successfully blocked anyone from being able to see you and Jungkook unless they were at one of the other tables in the section.  However, the place was very empty with the core inhabitants being the librarians themselves, plus Jungkook and you.

“Yeah, yeah.  Listen, we got to find a way not to fail this class.”  You told him, trying to turn the attention back to the work.  

You had been there for roughly 20 minutes, but still nothing had been accomplished yet.  Jungkook had wanted to know why you were at first so cold to him, and you honestly told him that he just had that stupid frat boy vibe and you were already in a grouchy mood in the mornings.  He spent the next few minutes trying to convince you that he was actually a lame nerd. He listed off the things he did in hopes that your previous assumption of him would melt away. You had to admit, it worked rather well.  The iron man obsession, the video game marathons, the IU posters and the hobby of photography and videography weren’t what you first pictured when you saw him. You thought of axe body spray, “nudes?”, stupid gym pictures of him flexing and party going along with all those other things that came along with being a fuckboy.  You guess you were wrong.

“Basically, he just wants us to answer those questions onto a google presentation that we have to share with him.”  Jungkook explained, also looking at the work now. You groaned.

“How am I supposed to be able to answer those questions when I wasn’t even here for that lesson?”  You thunked your head against the table. “Jungkook you should consider curb stopping this professor.  Like, your so big for no reason? You should take one for the team…”

“Is that all I am to you?  A fucking right-hand man to send to handle your enemies?”  Jungkook fake pouted, placing a hand onto his chest.

“Shit, kook.  If I have a body builder for a friend, am I expected not to use him?”  Jungkook sighed, bunny face relaxing into a lazy grin. He took out a few more things from his folder and handed it over to you.

“Here, I have the answers and notes from that lesson.  Just copy it down so you can look it over whenever you need.”  You nodded in thanks and began to copy his work over to your own blank sheets.  It was quiet for a moment as Jungkook just fondly watched you do this, taking in your

side profile and adorable face expressions of concentration.  He wanted to drink you in blissfully, not with a care in the world for anything but this moment.  But something was preventing him from doing that. Something that bothered him.

“(Y/n)?”  he asked gingerly.  

“What?”  You responded, not looking up from the scribblings of fast note-taking.  

“Do I know that guy who you had to sneak past?”  

This question caught you off guard.  You looked up. “No. He doesn’t go here and he’s a bit older.”  

“If he ever gives you any problems, you know you can call on me right?”  This made you snort.

“Kook, you wouldn’t even hurt a fly.”  

He stared into you, eyes so dark and voice so bleak when he stated, “I can under the right circumstances.”

--

“KAT! WHAT THE FUCK ARE MY QUALITIES?!”  You yelled from across the dorm from your spot on the loveseat.

“FUCK IF I KNOW!”  She hollered right back from the bedroom.  You grumbled and pondered a bit more.

‘Good team player, headstrong, analytical and grand ability to laugh at oneself.’ You typed this down while chuckling at how lame it sounded.

The next question popped up on the screen.

“KAT!  WHY AM I A GOOD CANDIDATE FOR THIS POSITION?!”  You screamed.

“SIS YOU’RE NOT!”  

You ignored this while typing down, ‘In desperate need of experience and said position offers such qualifications.’

The job application was complete and sent.  

Ever since you had cut off Jimin, you sworn off sugar daddies all together.  But, this didn’t mean that income wasn’t needed. You decided to do things the old fashioned way instead of chilling with older and richer men for cash, and chose to start filling out job applications.  

To be honest, you didn’t know how you were going to manage to take classes full time as well as work but you figured that you should at least try to talk to some employers about working.  You sent applications everywhere. To fast food places, to clothing stores, to even personal assistant positions.

If you didn’t at least get one call back, you were going to shoot yourself.  

Luckily, in a matter of two hours a call did come.  

You had an interview tomorrow afternoon.

--

A skirt, a dressy top and heels is what you were currently wearing.  You looked at yourself in the bathroom mirror and honestly couldn’t recognize yourself.

You looked like such a corprate drone…

The business building was very nice as well as the bathroom that you were currently hiding in.  You were one of the few people from the waiting room that were all interviewing for the position.  It was to be a personal assistant of some business director.

The description mentioned that it would be all very easy work.  Just managing the schedule and meetings he would have, getting coffee, and maybe picking up some dry cleaning here and there.  Apparently this guy was a big deal because one letter of recommendation from him will almost guarantee a number of jobs.

But here you were, freaking out in the bathroom.  

The other females in the waiting room all appeared to be very much determined to work for this guy.  They looked more qualified and more comfortable with the setting that you just felt like a fool for even showing up.  You would definitely be wasting the interviewer’s time. The other girls in there wore stilettos and carried fucking mini briefcases!  

You took a deep breath and tried to cool off by spraying some cold water on your face, not enough to ruin your minimalist makeup.  However, it would take a bit more to calm you down

You decided to make a quick call to Kat.  You dialed her up and right away she picked up.

“So I’m having a panic attack in the bathroom before my interview….”  You trailed off.

“Naturally.”  

“Listen!  I know I’m the queen of over reactions but I can’t help but feel like something really shitty is about to happen!”  

At this moment, a woman who was way more prettier and confident than you’ll ever be in such a place, walked in to the bathroom during your little rant.  She gave you a dirty look before disappearing in a bathroom stall. Embarrassment colored your cheeks.

“(Y/n), what the fuck can happen at an interview at a well respected business?  Don’t freak yourself out and get back out there. Let’s get this bread.” Kat attempted to encourage you.

You just nodded and hung up given you were no longer alone in the bathroom and would feel more awkward to continue your meltdown.

‘Let’s get this bread indeed’ you thought with fake confidence, before leaving the bathroom.

As soon as you stepped back into the waiting room, a voice called out,

“(Y/n) (l/n)?  Mr. Kim will see you now.”  You halted in you steps before taking a deep breath and making your way up to the desk, heart pounding.

The secretary smiled at you sweetly and motioned for you to follow her.

You allowed yourself to be led to a conference room where she told you to just knock and wait for a response before going in.  

You knocked on the large black door, lightly.  Listening closely for your cue.

“Come in!”  A light voice called out.  

You opened the door and stepped inside.  

It was a big room that had glass walls and a breathtaking view of the city’s skyline.  There was a long table with about 10 seats sourrounding it smack dab center of the room.  You guessed that this is where meetings were held.

A man was seated on one side of the table and began motioning for you to sit on the one right in front of him.  

Currently, he was looking down at his laptop and typing away, glasses on and cup of coffee beside him.  He still had yet to look up at you.

You supposed he did this one too many times today.  The guilt of wasting his time hit you once again now that you had a face to put to the poor interviewer.  And what a handsome face it was...

He had really wide and buff shoulders that was covered by a suit.  His skin was extremely pale and free of any imperfections. Not so much as a single blemish tainted his face.  A walking advertisement for any skin-care product he uses. His face was oval shaped and held a very sharp jaw. Chin prominent and square-ish to balance the slenderness of his cheeks. The lips were very pouty and dark, berry pink. His nose was straight and had a cute, fleshy bulbous at the end.  At each side of his nose were one of his small and black eyes that were currently downcast. His eyes held slightly curled and coal black eyelashes, that matched his black hair that was charmingly tousled on top on his head. He looked like he was a high-class actor. It was almost hard to believe that someone could achieve such physical perfection without the help of plastic surgery.  Not one feature about him was off-putting. You supposed someone as physically blessed as him must get used to the stares of women.

“(Y/n), is it?”  His voice was high and soprano with a enchanting twinkle.  

“Yes.”  You simply answered.  

He looked up for a brief glance to look back down at your resume, only to look back up at neck-break speed.  

His eyes bulged a tad bit as they met yours once again.  

A crooked smile spread across his face after a moment of just observing you.  

“I’m Kim Seokjin.  I’m the one who is looking for the assistant.”  Your eyes widened a bit at this development.

Fuck, this whole ordeal just became a bit more intimidating.  

“Well Ms. (Y/n), I’d love to get to know a bit more about the type of person you are.”  He said while leaning forward against the table, placing his enthralling face on top of his propped hands.  

You were a bit taken aback at how focused he was, and wondered if everyone got such treatment during their interviews.  

“Umm...I-”

You were interrupted when the door opened and someone stepped inside.  A husky voice asked,

“Jin, when is the meeting going to start?  We all got shit to do you know and you’re taking up the whole conference room.”  

Jin’s face dropped to a look of annoyance as he glared up at this unsaid person.  “Yoongi, I’ll be done in a bit. I’m in the middle of a interview.” he looked back a you.  “It will most likely be the last one for today. Miss. (Y/n) looks to be a very promising candidate…”  He winked at you, confusing the hell out of you. You barely said anything about yourself and you knew damn well the info he had on you wasn’t exactly groundbreaking.

“Whatever, I’ll just tell the rest th-Wait.”  The voice cut itself off. You heard footsteps get closer.  “(Y/n)?”

You turned around.  

And there stood that fucker from the bus.  

“Yoongi?”  You asked. He smiled, gummy and sweet.  

Today he was wearing an armani suit (nothing like the hoodie you first saw him in) however his tie was still loosened which made you smile.  Even in this type of environment, he still managed to be laidback and chill.

“What are you doing here, doll?  Don’t tell me you’re trying to be Jin’s new assistant.”  He droned, face bored but soft smile still present.

You nodded, nerves slowly melting away now that you saw a familiar face.  You joked, “Do you mind putting a good word in for me, man?”

Yoongi rolled his eyes.  “Sorry babe but I don’t hate you enough to try to put you onto this job.  Jin’s probably gonna have you position his hair dryer just right for him more than doing actual work.”  

“Hey!  Is that a way to talk about your older brother!”  The handsome man seated in front of you yelled, facing turning slightly red.

Your jaw dropped at ‘brother’.  

Before you can say anything, another voice added to the conversation, this time it came from right outside the now open door.  

“What’s the hold up, guys?  We promised dad to get the expense reports done today and I’m not working overtime.”  

You looked over at the voice and almost shat yourself.

God wasn’t gonna let you outrun this for too long.  

You ran from him originally but somehow you managed to run towards him without your knowing.

There stood Park Jimin.  

“(Y/n)!”  He exclaimed.  He thrusted himself into the room and onto his knees before you, taking your hands into his.  His eyes (that already were rather swollen and red) teared up as his cherub face glazed up at you.  

“B-babygirl, I’m so happy to see that your okay!  When you told me about your mom and the car accident I just felt so awful.”  His voice broke as he hiccupped some more. “W-what can I do to help, (Y/n)? Please!  Just tell me! I’ll do anything to earn a spot back into your life!”

He was full on sobbing at this point.  Chubby and small face covered with tears as he pushed himself further onto your lap and closer to your face.  

“You have the right to be upset with me, b-but you can’t just kick me out of your life!  I’ll accept any punishment but that!”

Due to the commotion, you hear murmuring sounds come from outside the room.  You couldn’t bring yourself to tear your eyes from Jimin and his usually joyful face that was now crumpled up with misery.  A proud man who had everything was currently on his knees in front of you, begging just for some sort of contact with you and reassurance of your well-being. His unique and raspy voice sounded so raw and broken when crying out for you.  

You patted his head, trying to get him to calm down to any extent.  

He leaned into the action, reminding you of a kicked puppy who just craved affection from his owner.  

You heard multiple footsteps enter the room, without a doubt here to witness the scene of businessman Jimin and his sudden breakdown.  You decided to ignore the other personas in the room and try to reason with your former sugar daddy.

“Jimin, you attacked my roomate.  I can’t forgive that.”

He jumped up at this, grasping at your waist and pulling you closer to him, apparently not caring if he wrinkled his fancy suit.  “It’s a misunderstanding, I swear! Let me explain!”

You heard a harsh gasp that pierced the room so vividly that you just had to look up and see who it was.  

There stood four men, watching the scene.

And you knew all of them.

Each and every single one.

“i have 6 brothers.”  Jimin had told you this on the night of your first outing.

And like that, it connected.  

All of it….. connected.

Like a puzzle you didn’t even knew existed until all the pieces were face to face with you, mocking your inability to solve it.  

7 men who were all young, handsome and heirs to a multi-million dollar company ran by their father.  

Like a Shakespearian drama, hell unleashed itself in the confined space of the conference room.

--

“You’re the crazy ex (Y/n) was talking about?!”  Jungkook yelled, glaring at Jimin with his doe eyes know filled with pent-up aggression now that he knew whom was responsible for your fear.

“How the hell do you know her?”  Hoseok demanded of Jungkook. This made the youngest of the bunch scoff.  

“What do you mean how do I know her?  We’re classmates! The question is how do you old, senile fucks know her?!”  He hollered, addressing all of the other men in the room.

Jimin ignored this and tugged your face back to him.  He just needed you to forgive him, he didn’t bother with his siblings at the moment.  He had tunnel vision whenever you were in a room. Now more than ever, as your forgiveness was top priority.  

“I didn’t attack Kat!  (Y/N), you have to believe me!  And why are you even interviewing for this job, baby?  You know that as your sugar daddy that I’ll provide for you.”  Jimin was holding you so close to him, afraid that something might just snatch you up if he wasn’t looking.  Which was somewhat true given the particular scene…

“Sugar daddy?!” Seokjin gaped, shocked at the revelation.  

“So she’s basically only with you for money…”  Yoongi smirked, monotone voice expressionless as always.  He was pleased because this meant your relationship with Jimin was very easily replaceable and not built off of true feelings on your side.  He’d just offer you more money and tada! You were going to be his.

“Was.  She was with him.”  Jungkook corrected, crossing his arms.  

Jimin snapped at this term, brain not willing to comprehend that it was over.  Couldn’t they see that this was just a bump in the road for him and (Y/n)? He wanted them to shut up before they gave you ideas of keeping him away from you.

“Shut your fucking mouths!  This is our relationship and our business.  Not you nosy motherfuckers!” He growled at them, stunning you.  

Your mind was so preoccupied at the moment.  Even amongst this chaos.

How did you manage to run into all of them at once?  In an office setting, nonetheless.

You’ve been to Jimin’s workplace before and it was a building that was on the other side of town.  So, how the fuck are they all here?

“I thought the building on the West side of town was your guys’ family business.”  You mumbled, dazed and confused. This was like a venus fly trap that you stumbled upon.  You usually had more wit than this to willingingly walk into a messy situation.

“We have 3 different locations in the city, baby.”  Namjoon said this while studying your concentrated face fondly.  It was so cute when you thought so hard.

You eyes looked up to meet the one brother who had yet to speak.  

He was the only one who looked unbothered with the whole ordeal, just watching it with aloofness and moderate entertainment at the digs they gave each other.  

“Why did you pay off my mom’s bills?”  You couldn’t help but ask him, not knowing if you’d ever get this chance again.

He smiled down at you, and even the other brothers stopped to study Taehyung, alarmed at your question.  

He shrugged and asked, “Is it wrong to want to take care of my future mother-in-law?”  

Author’s note: ALL MEMBERS ARE HERE NOW SO ALL ASKS ARE OPEN!!  Also thank you all sooooo much for the support and esp the asks, I love doing them.  Pls let me know what you think of this chapter and also you guys should feel free to send any questions you may have for me or just to say whatever you want.  I love it.  

#bts #bangtan boys #yandere bts #yandere #yandere jimin #yandere jungkook #yandere hoseok #yandere jin #yandere namjoon #yandere yoongi #yandere taehyung #park jimin #jimin #jeon jungkook #jungkook #kim namjoon #namjoon #kim taehyung #taehyung #kim seokjin #jin #min yoongi #yoongi #jung hoseok #hoseok #jhope #kpop #love #loveatfirstsight #bts jimin

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #261

“i hate you for every time you ever bled for me.”

If you have a job, how long is your shift? I'm unemployed. Do you ever wear your hair in a pony tail? It's too short for that. What language did you take up in high school? Latin for one semester, then I took four of German. Do you like sunflowers? It's illegal to live in the South and not lmao. Have you ever held hands with someone in a car? Yeah. Would you rather be called honey or baby? Hunny. What is your favorite card game? Even though I never learned it super well, I used to enjoy Magic: The Gathering and have actually been like dying to play it for months lmao. How many emails were you sent today? None. What was your favorite Christmas gift you got last year? Well I mostly got money life chose I didn't get to use, lol. I honestly don't really remember anything else prominently... sounds bad, but yeah, so is my memory lmao. What have you thought up yet for this year’s list? Well it's only April, but a treadmill or something like that is at the top right now. Do you have any embarrassing usernames? Ha ha, none that I still use. Do you have a backpack in a shape of an animal? No, but I almost got a meerkat one. But it was too small. :'( Have you ever waxed your legs? OW no. My hair is too long and thick. Have you ever taught a little kid to flick people off? lol wow no. Have you ever itched yourself until your skin was raw? I do that remarkably easy, especially on my legs. I literally have long scars from it. Do you always clear your history after using the computer? No. Have you ever had your food stolen by a bird? Ha ha nah. Are you responsible for stuffing someone's stocking? No. Do you make your own smoothies or juices? No. Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? I absolutely hate raisins. What age do you think is too old to still live with your parents? It greatly depends on a lot of things: the person's health, financial position, etc. Have you ever watched Bob's Burgers? A couple times. It was pretty funny if I remember correctly. Denim, leather or varsity jacket? UUUUGGGGGHHHHH leather. I've wanted one since middle school. ;_; Has a teacher ever caught and read a note you were passing in class? No. I honestly didn't pass notes, but I find it mean as FUCK when teachers do this. Privacy is a goddamn thing that should be respected. I do not support passing notes in class, like you're there to learn, but having it shared in front of all your peers is not the fucking answer. I get heated about this shit. What's your favorite perfume that you own? I only own one that's called "Blush" from rue 21. It smells really nice, though. Do you clean things that are already clean when you're bored? No. I'd rather clean something that isn't already. Do you have an older brother? Yes. What do you do when someone overweight complains about being overweight? Lol I'd probably say "mood," but it depends on our relationship of course. Like there're times to be humorous and light-hearted about it and other times when you don't make it about you. If they're clearly more sad and especially if I don't know them well, I'd say something like "I understand," because I can almost guarantee I do about this. Have either of your parents ever been to jail? No. Have you ever been to jail? No, I'm a good noodle. :) Are your collarbones prominent? No. ;_; You can see them, yeah, but they're not like very obvious. It's one of my biggest motivators to lose weight though because I am dyinnnnggg for dermals there, but I think it would look weird without that contrast. Have you ever in your life worn overalls? When I was a kiddo. Ugly things. Do you own anything tribal print? No. Do you watch any beauty gurus on YouTube? I'm not even very interested in beauty, yet I love Jeffree Star??? Nikkie is cool too. I've found I watch more for personalities than content, in all genres of vids. Do you like Skittles? More like LOVE. Do you have a PillowPet? No. If you do, what kind of PillowPet do you have? N/A Do you have sleep paralysis? Thank the fuck to god no. That shit sounds absolutely terrifying. Is there anyone at home right now you wish wasn't? No. Do you like Placebo? Tbh I can't think of one song by them rn. I know I've heard them, Mom's even got a CD I'm sure I've tried out long ago when I got into her music, but obviously nothing stood out well enough, at least back then. Has anyone ever carried you to bed? As a kid, yeah, usually my dad. Could you happily date someone prettier than you? Yes???? Do you know anyone with cancer? Both my mom and grandmother right now. Are you easily offended? No. Do your parents buy you most anything you want? HI we've always been poor so no. Not just that, but they knew better than to spoil us. Have you ever tried to jump a fence? I have. Do you watch My Strange Addiction? No. How attracted are you to the last person that kissed you? A bit above moderately ig. Have you ever known a white supremacist? HUNNY I live in the South. In regards to who do you think "what if?" Jason as a fucking whole is my absolute "what if." Do you like the smell of a barbecue? Yes, even though I enjoy like almost no food at most of them. Doesn't stop it from smelling good. Has anyone ever called you apathetic or unemotional? I can't even imagine someone calling me that, no. I'm the polar opposite. How much money do you spend in a month on clothes or accessories? None in the average month. What was the last clothing item you wore that doesn't belong to you? A pair of Mom's pants. I didn't have any clean pairs. Do you own anything with your state or providence's name on it? No. Got no interest in sporting anything relating to a boring-ass, bigoted, racist state. How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking? WOW A LOT!!!!!!!!!!! Do you like the Paranormal Activity movies? Yeah, I do. I mean yeah, they're fake, but what horror movie isn't even though it claims it is, honestly. How do you like your oatmeal? Apples & cinnamon with a bit of sugar. Does it make you feel better when an ex starts dating someone unattractive? No. Appearance doesn't mean shit when it comes to what the heart wants. What's your favorite way to eat peanut butter? In a sandwich w/ grape jam. Do you fall in infatuation easily? Infatuation, I'm not sure. Who has initiated most of your first kisses? Considering almost all previous relationships, usually me as they all knew I needed to go slow. I'd only do it if I was aware they'd wanted to kiss already, though. Do you like bows? Omg yes, cute shit. Has a boyfriend ever made you breakfast? Yes. Jason first went to college to be a chef. Are you more likely to show affection through your words or your actions? Probably words when you consider I'm slow with physically doing that, but I'm honestly really affectionate either way when I'm comfortable with you. Do you like Cheez-Its? VERY MUCH SO omg keep them away from me. Do you ever use coloring books? Not anymore. How do you feel about instrumental music? I have to be in the mood for it. Have you ever been on a trapeze? No. What's the coolest natural event you've ever witnessed? I still don't know to this day what it was, but I THINK it was a star exploding. Scared me, man. Seeing the big lunar eclipse last year was also wicked cool. Do you know how to use chopsticks? HA, I never could. Not with my tremors. Do you buy chocolate after Valentine's Day when it goes on sale? No, I don't need chocolate. Do you think bunnies are cute? I would fight God to give a lop-eared bunny one (1) pet. Do you personally know anyone who is an author? I've had a friend get something published in a magazine before, and during one stay at the psych hospital, I met a published poet. His stuff was really good. Last time (if ever) you were on an airplane, where were you going? Otw home from Illinois. Do you know anyone who is left-handed? Yeah? I'd assume everyone would at least know one... If people could read your mind, what would they usually find? The thought "I'm bored" every five minutes. What's a song that makes you feel happy? "Jump" by Van Halen came to mind first. How did you meet your best friend? YouTube. Do you need money to be happy? To a degree, yes. Money can buy happiness - but again, to a degree. Saying it doesn't is bullshit. What's a good idea you've had recently? Probably just OC ideas, lmao. I've thought of some decently cool stuff recently. what is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Cinnamon rolls uggggghhhhhh How many slices of pizza do you usually eat? Two or three if I'm seriously hungry. If you could switch places with someone for a day, who would it be? Is "Mark's girlfriend" even remotely surprising lmao but no seriously she's an amazing and productive person like I WISH. What's the last song you listened to? "Roots" by In This Moment is on rn. Do you like the movie Zootopia? Ye! Do you ever go on Pinterest? Yeah. What's the last kind of chocolate you ate? A Reese's. Tell me a line from the song you're listening to: "I'm stronger than I ever knew - I'm strong because of you." Have you ever participated in a march/protest? No. Have you ever performed in front of a large audience? Yeah, for dance classes and school stuff. What did you eat the last time you went to the movies? Popcorn. I may have gotten sour gummies, too? Idr. Who was the last person to see you cry? Mom. Do you listen to music every day? There are rare days where I don't. I'll be watching too many actual videos. Do you have a hard time making decisions? A STUPID hard time. I'm extremely dependent, including when faced with decisions. I second-guess myself with everything. Do you start the shower water before or after you get in? Before. How many times have you been to a museum? A good number of times. We live pretty close to an art + science one. Are you going to be getting any new pets soon? Most likely not. Would you rather be a Panda or Grizzly bear? A panda so it wouldn't be legal to shoot me lmao. Do the stairs in your house have carpet? We only have one floor. Can you do a twirl like a ballerina? Oh wow, no. Even when I was a dancer, I SUCKED at that. When you were younger, were you ever in a relationship with someone you now realize was way too old for you? No. Is your family dysfunctional? To a degree. How old were you the first time you travelled alone? 22? What's the longest hotel stay you've ever had? I don't know. Not long. We only ever really stayed at one when we had to go to Myrtle Beach for annual dance competitions, and those were only like, a weekend. What architectural style was your childhood home? Uhhh idk. Very normal. Tell me a bit about your last relationship. What was it like dating them? It was great, but also stressful because of distance. What's the largest animal you've seen in the wild? Maybe like a large buck or something. Do any of your friends or family members have strange occupations? Not that I'm aware of. Have you ever been in weather so severe that you feared for your safety? Oh yeah. What political issues are the most important to you personally? Gay rights and the pro-choice stance. Does your neighborhood have a community garden? I've never even heard of such a thing. What small thing makes you automatically distrust someone? Acting secretive or cryptic about who they are as a person. Of all the states/provinces in your country, which one is your favorite? Visually that I've seen a good number of pictures of, Utah. Are there any obscure foods you've eaten that most people have never tried? I very much doubt that. What's the kindest thing a total stranger has done for you? I'm unsure. Have you ever used a meal kit delivery service? Yeah, I did one of those diet things before... but the name is evading me, even though it's super common. Nutrisystem, maybe? Do you have any pets? If so, how old are they? Venus is around five, and Roman is two. Do you have any psychological issues rooted in events from your childhood? My psychiatrist and former therapist predict my discomfort around men, particularly when they're behind me, and extreme fear of rape is rooted in two kids from pre-k that used to chase, randomly hug the hell out of, and try to kiss me. I'd actually entirely forgotten about it until we really started to dig deep, so I guess it's a repressed memory. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? WOW no, son. What's your favorite DIY crafts youtube channel? I don't watch DIY stuff. What was your high school's mascot? Firebird. Who were your best friends in high school? Hannia, Megan, Maria, Girt, and Dennis were The Crew. Who was your first boyfriend or girlfriend? Aaron was my brief puppy-dog love, but Jason was my first real boyfriend. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? Bottom. If I slept on the top, but bottom is getting crushed lmao. As a little kid though when Nicole and I shared a room, I had to have the top bunk until I got a bit older. What insects are you afraid of? BEETLES, CICADAS, AND LARVA GET THE FUCK OUT. Honestly most insects scare me to a degree. Have you ever had a secret admirer that left you notes? I think the aforementioned Aaron did in middle school at least once before we dated. What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? Swimming in the pool, if they had one. What's one way in which you're still a child? I'm dependent as shit on my mom. What's one way in which you're old? I now say "back in the day" sometimes lmfao. Do you feel old or young? Or do you feel both at different times? Both at different times. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. When you look at your baby pictures, do you recognize yourself? Only once at a certain age. What is your favorite thing to do in the pool? Just kinda swim around and think, or watch nature. Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? I know I have, but they're evading me, gaaaah. What color(s) eyeshadow do you wear the most? I only ever wear black. What’s your favourite brand of peanut butter? Uhhh never really paid much attention to brands. Do you put all your stuff for class in one binder or several? When I was in school, I had one binder with dividers, but I also had specific folders too. What’s your favourite Lunchables meal? The nachos. How many languages can you recite the alphabet in? Two. What’s your favourite flavour of sunflower seeds? I hate those. What’s your favourite flavor of muffin? Chocolate oof. Have you ever had carpal tunnel? I do. I haven't had problems in a couple months, though. Are you one of those people who is really smart but has no common sense? OW FUCK OFF. How old were you when you met your first love? I was just shy of 16. Did you get ice cream from the ice cream truck when you were little? Do they still have an ice cream truck where you live? We occasionally did as a kid, but they definitely don't have that where we live now. Has the last person you kissed met your family? She met my mom, dad, and younger sister. What was the last strong emotion you experienced? Who was responsible for it? Remorse. Myself. Have you ever had to cancel a bank account? Yes. Was the last conversation you had an argument? No. If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? I am not in the financial or mental position to get married right now. Where was the last place you got completely wasted? I've never been "wasted." If you could have anyone as your roommate, who would you choose? Sara. Have you ever changed the prices of items at a store? Wow no. Well, MAYBE when I actually worked in stores and I was supposed to, but I don't remember doing that. Do you go for walks often? I never do because of having no area to (my house is along a dangerous curve), and I need to be very careful because of muscle atrophy in my legs. I need to have easy access to a place to sit and recover or else I get very close to collapsing. As mentioned, I desperately want a treadmill. Would your parents disown you if you got pregnant? No, I'm 24 years old. My mom would never in her life do that at any age anyway. How strange do people say you are? Idk?? That's not something I really try to find out because my AvPD would possibly make me cry asldkfjwe. Have you opened food at a grocery store & ate it without or before paying? I would never do that without, but I have before in cases of being very dizzy and knowing I desperately needed food. How artistic are you? I think I'm pretty artistic, but more in concept than actuality... Like I have so so so SOOOOOO many ideas, particularly with drawing, I just don't. Do it. Can you legally drive? Not currently, because my permit has been expired since last year. Did anything dramatic go down yesterday? No. Do you find smoking unattractive? Very. Have you ever been in a situation where you had to be around your ex everyday? No, thankfully. Have you seen someone recently you used to talk to, but don’t anymore? No. Are you comfortable sharing drinks with your friends? No; I don't even share drinks with family. Honestly, have you ever written something on a bathroom stall? No, I hate that shit. When you were a kid did you ever look up “sex” in the dictionary? Actually no. I literally didn't learn anything about it 'til family life in the 5th grade. Is there anything written on the shirt you’re wearing right now? No. Are you shorter or taller than most of your friends? I'm a normal height, really. Honestly, do you double dip? If I'm sharing, no. All you have to do is break the chip. What was the last junk food you ate? I had a little bit of popcorn yesterday.

#survey #quiz #questions

[sistercelluloid]

This his has nothing to do with classic film, but I feel like you’re family, so I hope you’ll bear with me in remembering my sweet, beloved Linus, who we lost last week. He lived to be sixteen years and eight months old, but his life seemed to go by in the blink of an eye.

We adopted him when he was just shy of three; he had been so horribly abused that a neighbor called the woman who ran the local no-kill shelter and begged her to somehow get the people who had him—I refuse to call them his family—to surrender him. In his early days with us, his trauma surfaced in heartbreaking ways, as when my husband Tim pulled on a pair of heavy boots to go out and shovel snow—and Linus wailed and shook violently, ran to a corner, and tried to dig his way into the wall.

When we first met him at the shelter, he was clearly anxious to be let out of the kennels. Far and away the smallest dog there, he broke free of his handler, snuggled into a spot on the sofa between us, sighed, and settled in. He was home already. While we waited to sign the final adoption papers—we’d already been through an application process the FBI would gaze upon in awe—I ran through a bunch of names in my mind. “What about Linus?” I asked Tim, thinking of the Peanuts character. “He’s looks so sweet and thoughtful, like he’s got a lot on his mind.” And when we got him home, the first thing he did was burrow deep into his carrier and pull out something that had been scrunched up in the back: his blanket.

He sniffed his way around his new home, and just to make sure we knew it was his, he peed on every rug. Then he curled up on the sofa with his brand-new stuffed bear, chewed the nose off and gleefully pulled out the stuffing.

The bear would be first of a long string of victims which ran the gamut from stuffed toys to silk eye masks.

Linus 1, Mister Fluffy Bunny 0.

And oh, yes, that poor Santa hat—his revenge for the 15 seconds he had to wear this silly outfit for a Christmas card photo.

He literally loved his soccer ball to bits, and no shiny new replacement—even if it was exactly the same thing—ever made him as happy. So I’d just grab his old one, gather up the trail of stuffing strewn across the living room floor, and sew it all back together again.

Only the Grinch was spared from being torn apart, and they became such fast friends that I took to leaving him out all year.

When we first brought Linus home, we weren’t sure how long his walks should be. No one had ever bothered to take him for a real walk before—at the shelter they’d heard he’d been let out in the yard maybe once or twice a day. And being a dachshund, he took a whole bunch of steps for every one of ours. So we decided to just walk him until he got tired.

He never got tired.

After three or four miles, I’d be splayed face-down on the sofa, and he’d be like, “So, where are we goin’ now, Ma?”

Sometimes before we even got to the street, he’d meet Patty or Helen or Michelle from our apartment building, who all adored him. And oh was it mutual. He’d squeal and yip, waggle his butt, and run up and smoosh against them, just unable to contain himself. And he’d bark at their husbands.

Down the street we sometimes ran into Jeff and John, who’d swoop off their stoop the minute they saw Linus. They even bought dog biscuits to keep on hand for him. One night when we passed Jeff, we didn’t stop because he was on the phone. But he let out a whoop and waved us over. He proceeded to tell the guy on the other end Linus’s entire life story—and then ignored him completely talk to Linus, asking over and over, “Who’s a good boy?”

We’d often stop at the coffee shop on our walks, where he’d make new friends. In the summer, I’d often hear a sudden “Ooh!” only to turn and discover Linus had rubbed his cold nose against someone’s bare calf.  And then there was the firefighter with arms roughly the size of Bluto’s, who cooed baby-talk to him and treated me to a cappucino because he loved him so madly.

It took my breath away how open-hearted Linus was, after all the horrors he’d been through. People hold grudges for years, sometimes forever, over the tiniest slight. But once Linus was safe and happy and loved, he was willing—happy, even—to give the whole human race a second chance. He was such an old soul, such a sweet spirit.

For all his years in our family, Linus went with us just about everywhere. He especially loved the “come-withs” at our upstate house on weekends. And because he was crazy-smart, he picked up on clues instantly. When he saw Tim make any move toward the Linus bag—the little canvas pouch with his portable water dish and snacks—he’d go crazy. He also went nuts when I took my bra out of the drawer, because it meant I was going somewhere so probably he was too. It got to the point where if we were heading out without him on the weekend, I had to sneak my bra out when he wasn’t looking.

We took him on our vacations…

…on camping trips…

…on family visits to the lake…

…on day hikes (where once he was super-excited to meet a countryman)…

…to every park we could find (whether he was allowed there or not)…

…to street fairs and festivals…

…to drive-ins…

…and to restaurants, where, on the rare occasion we dined outside without him, we’d get grilled about it by the waiters. (“We were just out shopping and we didn’t know we’d be stopping to eat!” we’d plead, heads down, like guilty criminals.) At one place where we dined often, the manager would greet him with a full plate of bacon. One day, a woman at a nearby table complained, “You served that dog before you waited on me!” and he replied dryly, “He’s a regular.” To know Linus was to love him to the point of obliviousness to all else.

And, um, yes, he had a little portable bed, to protect him from the hard ground. (Though sometimes after we finished our meals, he’d venture off just far enough to sneak a peek at what the people at the next table were having.)

He also had a bed to cushion his naps in the backyard. Okay fine, two beds.

Mostly, though, he roughed it.

Oh and he had a bed in the car, though sometimes it was more of a pillow.

Though having fluffy beds pretty much everywhere, including three in the house, didn’t stop him from checking out other options.

Linus was so sweet and supremely silly…

Once, in a rare attempt at hunting, he somehow wound up in a stack of planters, while the chipmunk had long since scampered down the driveway.

When it was too chilly for the yard but just warm enough to get near it, he loved to watch the world from the screenporch.

Being so close to the ground, Linus was not a huge fan of the cold and wet. (When we got a couple of inches of snow, I’d croon, “It’s up to your knees out there…”) He’d take a few steps and then lift a chilly front paw as if to say, “Taxi!” And I’d pick him up and carry him out to the plowed road for a quick walk. Then he’d come in for a vigorous pat-down with his super-absorbent doggie towel, play-fight with it after he was dry and happy, and burrow under his blankets again.

Always a sun puppy, in bleakest February he’d follow the scant rays around the house. (I call this The Linus in Winter.)

On sleepy weekend mornings, Linus had a little ritual he loved. I’d give him breakfast and take him out for a walk—and then he’d all but march me back to bed. (Tim was usually still there.) He’d head toward the bedroom, stop and turn around to make sure I was following him, and harrumph at me if I wasn’t moving fast enough. Then he’d stand by the bed and wait to be lifted up, barking at me to follow him under the covers so the three of us could snuggle.

He also made a huge fuss whenever Tim came home. You’ve seen the heartwarming videos of dogs whooping and jumping and hurling themselves wildly at returning soldiers, who’ve been away for years? That was Linus when Tim came back from the deli.

He loved belly rubs…

…and deep, long snoozes, and honest to God you’d sell your soul to sleep like that for five minutes.

And if he snoozed on something I needed, I’d just wait until he woke up.

He was also great at self-snuggling, where one minute he was lying flat on his blanket and the next he was a dachshund burrito.

Linus never met a snack he didn’t like (that’s a telltale yogurt ring on his face)…

…and his devotion to whatever you had on your plate bordered on the monastic.

A couple of weeks after we brought him home, we went out to a family dinner and brought home a big, fat, juicy steak bone. When we gave it to Linus, he didn’t seem to know what to do with it at first—because apparently in his almost three years of doggie life, no one had ever given him a bone. But he quickly caught on, and wouldn’t let go. We somehow managed to pry it away from him for his nightly walk, but upon returning, he raced down the hall, frantic to reclaim his prize. After that, he got lots of bones.

When my Mom visited, she actually teased us about spoiling him. Imagine. And then there was this.

But how else would I treat my best editor? When I was stuck for a word, I could always turn to him for support. Or, more often, just chuck what I was working on and curl up with him.

He’d also sense our miseries and truly sympathize. Whenever I cried, whether from something real or even an old movie, I’d soon find him clinging close to me.

Every autumn, on the Feast of St. Francis, we took Linus to be blessed, which I think may have helped him through the health crises in his life.

In the summer of 2007, a few weeks after my company closed its doors, I was spending some time with Linus upstate. One day, rather than racing around the yard, he seemed sluggish, mostly sitting in one spot under a tree. I chalked it up to the weather, which had grown more sultry as the afternoon wore on, and thought it best to bring him inside. But when I picked him up, he howled in pain. Trying (and failing) not to panic, I softly cradled him into his bed and called the vet, but they’d already closed. So I called a cab to get to the emergency vet in the next town.

An hour passed. No cab. By now the sky was black, and it was pouring. I called again (I vaguely remember screaming). A half-hour later, the cabbie drove right past me as I stood on the screenporch frantically waving my arms. I ran outside, caught up with him and jumped right in front of the car.

By the time Linus made it to the vet, his back legs were paralyzed. He had ruptured a disc and needed emergency surgery, but whether he’d ever walk again was highly uncertain. They brought him into the back, gave him steroids, pain medication and sedatives to stabilize him overnight, and told me to get him to Cornell veterinary hospital first thing in the morning. I called Tim from the front desk, sobbing so hard he could barely understand what I was saying.

As I waited for him to drive up from the city, I sat outside crying on a bench under an awning, as the rain pounded against it. A woman who’d seen me inside came out, sat beside me, and pulled my head onto her shoulder. “He’ll be alright,” she said over and over, like a lullaby, or maybe a prayer. I’ll never forget her. (And she was right.)

During the drive up to Cornell, I sat in back with Linus. Bundled in blankets, he clung to my lap, drifting in and out of a fearful, fitful sleep, trembling the whole time. When we arrived, they whisked him into surgery within an hour, removed the ruptured disc and fused the ones on either side. They were going to keep him for another three days, but he was so scared and miserable in his cage—he hadn’t spent a night without us since we first brought him home—that they let him leave a day early, giving us strict instructions on how to get him back on his feet.

Naturally, at first, he was wobbly as a newborn foal. I’d hold him as he took a few halting steps and then lose his footing and stumble to the ground. I started to look into scooters, in case he needed one. But then suddenly, less than a week after surgery, he went from staggering to running, in a single motion. So there we were in the yard, him scampering around like he’d never left, like it was just another Tuesday, and me crying my head off. I started to call Tim, but then I put the phone down. I wanted Linus to surprise him when he came home.

The only lingering result of his trauma was that occasionally when he sat down, he would swing one leg out to the side, like Rita Hayworth in her pinup shots.

I told Tim if anything ever happened to me, he should take me to Cornell and tell them I’m a German Shepherd.

A few years later, a routine vet visit turned up some disturbing lab results. So we went back to Cornell, where a battery of tests revealed a dangerous tumor. He needed surgery right away, and the only available slot was the day before Thanksgiving. For the second time, everything went perfectly, and in their post-op report, the clearly perceptive vets actually wrote, “Linus is a very good dog.” Tim and I had our holiday dinner at the only place we could find open, a bar in downtown Ithaca. I ordered a cocktail, only to have the waiter snap, “Today we have beer and wine and that’s it.” Yipes. But since he was stuck working, I could hardly blame him for sounding like Sheldon Leonard in It’s a Wonderful Life. (“We serve hard drinks in here for men who want to get drunk fast, and we don’t need any characters around to give the joint atmosphere!”)

And once again Linus, desperate to go home, was released early, enjoying some post-holiday deli turkey on the trip back.

But the following year, Linus was diagnosed with Cushing’s disease, which is something of a plague for dachshunds. Every story I dug up was more horrible than the one before, and the typical prognosis was two years. Linus was blessed with another four, and until he was near the end, fate was somewhat benevolent to him. But in the last few months, one by one, a series of cruel symptoms came crashing down on him. Cushing’s attacked his retinas, dementia darkened his wonderful mind, and sometimes he struggled to stand. Before, the vets always had an answer. Now they had none.

Often I’d pick him up, wrap my arms close around him, and try to will time and trauma away. Do your worst to me, I’d plead, but leave his little fourteen-pound body alone.

It’s one of the cruelest twists of nature that they get so much less time on this earth than we do. I would have happily shared my years with him if I could have.

The night before Linus died, Tim and I slept on either side of him, guardians at the gate with nothing left in our desperately depleted arsenal but how much we loved him. At first, he shared my pillow, his nose pressed against my neck. But then he shifted, resting his head on my hand and curling his body into the crook of my arm. Then he sighed and settled down, just as he did those first few moments we welcomed him into our family.

Despite his age and his illness, losing Linus was an awful, sudden shock. Losing someone you love so much always is; there’s no “preparing” for it. It’s not just a turn of phrase to say I don’t know what to do without him. I really don’t. I can’t put his beds and blankets and bowls away, but I can’t bear to look at them either. I can barely breathe.

I know he lived a long, happy life, and he was loved like crazy, and we’ll always have our memories of him. But none of that helps right now. I’ve collapsed in tears in the diner, in the supermarket, on the street, everywhere. And it’s worse at home. I wake up crying and go to sleep the same way. I miss everything about him, even the smallest things, like the sound of him lapping at his water bowl and his paws click-clacking on the floor. As little as he was, he filled the house. And he filled my heart. Losing him has thrown open the gates to a very dark place I can’t find my way out of without him.

Goodnight and sleep safe, my sweet, silly, beautiful, beloved pup. You were such an indescribable blessing, beyond any words I can find. I have no idea if there’s a God, but there better be a Heaven for you. May the angels hold you as close as we did for all those wonderful years.

Remembering Linus, Our Sweet, Beloved Pup This his has nothing to do with classic film, but I feel like you're family, so I hope you’ll bear with me in remembering my sweet, beloved Linus, who we lost last week.

#Cornell University Hospital for Animals #dachshunds #grief #linus #pets

[matsbarzal]

What Jack Doesn’t Know (3) - Noah Hanifin

Notes: bet I would let Noah Hanifin get me pregnant any day... anywho here’s part 3!! also this ones got a little Noah action in it, but nothing spectacular :( next one I promise. ALSO, the end gets a kind of dramatic, and like, kind of bad? This is a trigger warning for a tiny mention of miscarriage towards the end, please don’t read if that is a trigger! 

Requested: kinda

Up next: undecided 

“Do you uh... do you um...”

“Do I know who the father is, mom?”

Shamefully nodding her head, your mom twisted her the hem of her sweater, a worried look on her face. “I do know who the father is. Before you ask, no, he doesn’t know about the baby.”

“Are you going to tell him?” 

Pursuing your lips, you shrugged your shoulders, “I don’t know... probably not? I told Jack I wasn’t going to but he thinks I should.”

“So Jack knows who it is?”

Nodding your head at your mom, you twirled the sonogram picture in your finger, eyeing the tiny speck that was slowly getting bigger and bigger. 

“Do you love him?”

Choking on the sip of water you took, you looked at her in shock. “Jesus mom, is this 20 questions? No I don't love him, we weren’t dating, obviously we forgot to use protection and now I've got a bit of an issue.”

“Noah Hanif-an, then?”

“Hanifin, mom, you’ve known him since we were 14. And possibly, yes.”

Ignoring your correction of Noah’s last name, she gestured for the sonogram in your hand. “At least my grandchild will be beautiful. He must have fantastic genetics. Have you seen him?”

Shaking your head in silent laughter at her words, you simply nodded your head, agreeing with her. 

A few moments of silence passed as the episode of Grey’s Anatomy played on the television screen.

‘Can you help me unravel my latest mistake? I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season.’

“God mom, what am I gonna do? I can’t... he can't know, this was such a mistake, I should’ve listened to Jack mom, fuck.” Tittering at the vulgar words leaving your mouth, your mom moved closer, wrapping her arm around you and pulling you towards her side as tears slipped from your eyes. 

“We’ll figure this out, baby. You’re not alone. You’ve got so many people around you, we’ll figure it out, we always have, haven't we?”

The offseason in Boston was filled with three things, parties, parties, and 4th of July parties. Or at least, thats what it usually was. The moment the beginning of June hit, and the party texts started flying in, you were able to avoid most of them, citing ‘chronic illness’, ‘babysitting’, ‘work’, and so forth as the reason why you couldn’t come.  

Those excuses became a little difficult when Jack showed up at your front door, unannounced, again. “I thought you were just avoiding Noah, not all of us. Even Auston’s worried about where the hell you’ve been, and Auston only cares about himself and his ripped jeans.” 

“I've been sick.”

“With Noahitis? You’re not even showing, the least you can do is show up at some parties and act like you don't hate everyone all of a sudden. Everyone’s blaming Noah anyways, they think he broke your heart or something. Only if they knew the truth.” 

Shoving Jack, you ignored his comment. “I don’t wanna be around a bunch of drunk hockey players and puck bunnies, Jack. It’s not healthy, what if I get shoved or something? Or if someone spikes my drink? I don’t want to fuck this thing up before it gets out of its pea-sized phase.”

Rolling his eyes, Jack plopped down on the couch beside you, pulling the duvet that was covering you over his legs. “One party, that’s all I’m asking for. I’m hosting a 4th of July party. It’ll be the only party this summer before everyone goes home and stuff, please come. A few of the girls wanna see you too.” 

The ginger pleaded with you, his attempt at puppy dog eyes just making you completely uncomfortable. “Ugh, fine. Stop making that face, it’s making you look uglier than you already are.” 

“Wow, add a bit of Noah’s genetics into your body and you’re suddenly a female him. Disgusting.”

“And you can’t see anything? It still looks completely flat?” Your mom nodded her head for the fourth time. The black and white shirt hung loose, with a small zipper at the top being the only tight part of it. Matched with a pair of black bottoms, you couldn’t deny that it outlined your curves and did not, whatsoever show your non-existent bump.

“You look the same that you looked last summer, now go, before Jack sends the mob looking for you.” 

Laughing, you grabbed your car keys from the table. Pulling the front door open, you made your way towards the car. Not being able to drink had its perks, you were able to drive yourself to and from parties, you didn’t have to worry about being an idiot, and you could leave whenever you wanted to. 

Your house was a quick ten minute drive from Jack’s, the proximity between your two houses being part of the reason why you grew up such good friends. 

Parking your car on the street outside Jack’s house, you walked towards the door, opening it, you were immediately hit with the loud voices and music pumping through the front of the house. 

“(Y/N)!” A chorus of your name went throughout the dining room, which had apparently been turned into the beer pong room, with the looks of it. Smiling and waving at a few of yours and Jack’s mutual friends, you felt yourself being tugged into the kitchen, an arm around your waist.

“My favourite girl is here! (Y/N)!” God, Jack was the most obnoxious drunk.

“You’re already off it Eichel?” 

“You’re not my mom, (Y/N), boss your own kid around.” 

Pinching his wrist, you encircled your own arm around his waist, a grin plastered across your face. You missed this. Hanging out with your drunk friends, seeing everyone so happy and enthusiastic and just living life. 

You felt a solo cup being thrust into your hand, which you tried to hand back, just for the person to reject it. A fake smile went across your lips in thanks at the other person as they yelled past you to whoever was apparently, “breaking the fucking vase, you crackhead.”

Looking towards the culprit, you made direct eye contact with Noah’s blue eyes, a large smirk overtaking his face as he caught your eye. 

“(Y/N)!” Yelling, Noah walked towards you, ignoring the person yelling about the vase he pulled you into his arms, his hands resting on your waist as he hugged you.

Awkwardly hugging him back, he pulled away and smiled down at you. “Hi, Noah.” 

“Man, I haven’t seen you in like... a month. Where’ve ya been?” 

Shrugging your shoulders at him, “Ya know... around and stuff.”

“Oh okay, whatcha drinking? Want a refill? Apparently Jack’s being a terrible host tonight.” Leading you towards the table stacked with alcohol, Noah gestured towards the multiple bottles. 

“Pick your poison, I’ll mix you a great drink. Those Swedes in Carolina have been teaching me how to make some mean Swedish drinks.”

“Oh uh... I’ll just grab a cup of sprite or coke or something.”

Looking at you weirdly, Noah shook his head. “Nah. C’mon, one drink. You always drink at these parties, you’re always the life of the party. Especially after.” 

Lowering his voice and his head for the last comment, Noah got closer to your ear. The hand that was still on your waist began gently rubbing circles against the exposed skin there. “Jack won’t know if we just... disappear, babe.”

A shudder ran through your body at the feeling of him so close, a tingle running right to your core at the images that ran through your brain. The coherent part of you shook your head, gently pulling yourself out of Noah’s arms. “We shouldn’t do that anymore, we promised Jack we wouldn’t.”

“When has that ever stopped us before, baby?” Moving closer to you again, you didn’t realize that he was cornering you into the wall until your back hit it, a soft gasp leaving your lips. 

“You should only be making that sound when you’re bouncing on me, you know that (Y/N).” 

“Noah I... I need to go to the bathroom.” Shoving past him, you ran towards the stairs, skipping each second step as you made your way upstairs and towards Jack’s ensuite bathroom. Locking the door after you entered, you turned the sink tap on cold, gently holding your sweaty hands underneath the cool water.

Your head felt like it was spinning. He always knew how to do this to you, make you want him until you were going crazy. This is exactly what got you in the predicament in the first place. Shaking it off, you moved towards the toilet, pulling your shorts down and then your panties, you didn’t notice the spot on the light blue until you were sat down. 

When you did a soft cry left your mouth. Red... everywhere. Wiping yourself revealed more of your nightmare, and more red. 

Pulling your panties and shorts back on, you rushed to wash your hands, pulling the bathroom door open to run, quite literally, into a hard chest.

“(Y/N)?” 

“Get out of my way, Noah. I need to go.” You didn’t realize the nervous tears were flowing down your cheeks until Noah swiped one off. 

“You shouldn’t drive like this kid, what’s wrong?” 

“Noah, I really need to go, please get out of the way.” Shaking his head, Noah gestured to the keys in his hand. 

“Let me take you home, you shouldn’t drive when you’re this upset. You can even tell me what’s wrong on the way there, I won’t make any snide remarks, please?”

“I’m not going home, Noah.” You tried to push past him against, just for him to gently grab your arm. “Let me drive you wherever you’re going then.”

“Jesus, Noah. I need to go to the hospital, can you please just let me go, for fuck sakes?” 

#noah hanifin #noah hanifin imagines #nhl imagines #hockey imagines #noah hanifin imagine #part 3 #what jack doesn't know

[inexchangeforyoursoul]

Well... I did finish the second chapter, so I better revise this shit before it gets uploaded to a fitting site...

As for what this is, here, a link for clarification’s sake.

“Sorry again for the inconvenience.” she sighs while awkwardly standing around in the girl's room with Nami, who's been cleared up on the situation a minute ago. Usopp and Chopper, along with Carrot who was with the navigator at the time, are on their way to give a briefing to the rest of the Strawhat crew. She already feels like a burden, and is not even wearing her own face, which makes this already so much easier. Having another body is one thing; being the cause of even the smallest problem is... another animal altogether. A scary, ever-looming nightmare animal that silently bares its teeth all the time, but never gets to bite.

Shachi and Penguin offered her to get Ikkaku's help, but the only women she ever talked to past a 'hello' were Nami and eventually Robin. As such, it would have been especially awkward and uncomfortable to ask elsewhere. Ikkaku also was... a tomboy who partied alongside the guys all the time, and Kat likes her good night's sleep. The submarine manhole as a whole wasn't exactly inviting. The other ship was only one notch better, but she saw enough to know that the guys did not dare to anger the girls, so chances were that it's a quieter place to stay at.

“Never mind, it's not an issue. Nor your fault. Really, though... I can't believe Torao did something stupid like this.“ The other woman answers, pulling out covers from a cabinet for her to take, then proceeds digging into the back for the stray backup pillow they should have.

“Not that I know him that well, but I agree. Didn't think him to be the type to pull stunts like this. Like... if I suck, we could be stuck like this forever.“ She gives the material a quick stroke; a little rough from the sea air, but smells nice enough. She considered going down to the aquarium to sleep, the place was nice and the bench cushioned, after all. But damn if the chances aren't higher to be woken up in the middle of the night. Had enough of that during the brief year spent at college.

Floor of the girls' room it is.

Nami gives a chuckle. “He does have his own brand of dumb, but generally? This is not his style... oh, this should be it.” she murmurs, pulling out a fluffy pillow. And a bunch of other stuff along with it...

“Um... can I help?” If Kat didn't feel out of place till that, she sure as hell does now.

“Yes- you can take this.” Nami says, shoving the pillow into her face, then sticks the bulk of fabric as-is back to where it came from. Kat cracks a half-smile beyond the feathery boundary and feels a little better about the situation. She's also happy that there's no reason to hide it here- keeping a straight face when seeing something she finds amusing is always hard. And because of her sense of humor, sometimes just a wee bit inappropriate.

“I'll just... huddle up in a corner, then.” she states, considering ways to include an armchair into her hopefully short-lived resting place.

“Are you honestly expecting me to be okay with that?” comes the expected question with a side of crossed arms.

She knows what Nami has in mind- they caught up to her and Carrot when latter mentioned being on the lookout for the night. In conclusion, there'd be enough space on the beds, but...

“Not really, but, uh... it would be pretty awkward to sleep right next to you guys like this, right?” She alludes to her “state”, and can see that Nami leans towards agreeing a second later- after a long enough pause Kat assumes that she'll keep that to herself. “If it's any consolation, I haven't slept near another person since I was a baby girl, so I probably wouldn't be able to rest anyway. Actually, sometimes I fall asleep on a single pillow, so it's nothing out of the ordinary.” Apart from, you know, being quite a bit bigger, needing two metaphorical pillows.

A sigh of a small defeat is all the redhead can muster, followed by Kat's suppressed sigh of relief. She wasn't lying about being uncomfortable with the idea, after all. Well, she probably would care much less than Nami and Robin would, even with the high likeliness of her being woken up by their movements. Either way, she's really trying not hide her opinions- less lies just come with less and quicker pain and fewer misunderstandings.

“Let me get that chair out of the way, then,” Nami offers, pulling the object to the side and suspiciously checking the floor for wild dust bunnies. Seems clean enough. She steps aside and Kat plops down the one too many blankets and one pillow into a rather inviting pile. She does like making and sitting around in these, alright.

“This kinda feels like a sleepover.” she states, having nestled herself into her one-pillow-fort. The bag which she brought along today is now behind the closet as to not be in the way of anyone. “Haven't had anything remotely similar since... well, some school excursions.”

Nami sits into the other armchair, in case Kat would consider joining her in the one she just moved. “That sounds nice... our village did not have a school. Me and my sister were taught the basics at home... and most books we had were either ancient scraps, or, well... *cough* stolen.” Kat chuckles. “I was pretty bad at the time and got always caught, though, so they were paid for in the end.”

“All I ever stole was some chewing gum or straight-up change, because mom wouldn't buy us treats... eventually I got found out, too. The shitstorm, man... Anyway, what you had sounds way better to me.” She says, eyes pasting the unidentifiable distance. “I wasn't exactly a fan of school... being bully target extraordinaire and all. Then the one new girl I made friends with in second grade left another two years later.”

“I see... being alone like that is no fun indeed.” She also stares a hole into the wall for a moment. “Meanwhile I was the one to beat up every kid who pissed me or Nojiko off.”

Kat can imagine the scene very well. “Heh, I wish I had a cool friend like you. Wouldn't have helped with the actual problem at home, but it would have been really nice nonetheless.“

Nami raises an eyebrow, and Kat catches the look she's being given.

“Um... how to put it... home wasn't exactly... better, you know. The older I got, the more I realized how much worse it made everything that happened at school. Everybody always screaming... abusing... and being wrecks themselves. At one point... I just stood in the house while everyone was away, and it just hit me. I realized I had no love left for anyone in there. Haven't had an actual conversation with them for years, either... then, after I dropped out of college and got my last load of being a disappointment, I got a job in the cafe. That’s been maybe two years back already... haven't called since. Nor visited.“

Nami stays still for a bit longer than comfortable. Kat thinks back to what she just said, and... whoops, did it again, didn't she.

“Ah, sorry, I... keep getting way too deep into personal stuff when I can relate it to a topic.” she apologizes, red with embarrassment.

“It's fine, I like how honest you are.” Her eyes light up, which makes Kat feel that whatever Nami is saying is as honest as her outbursts. “I can see why your manager keeps you around- talking clear text when something's wrong... that's a healthy business principle, if you ask me. The place is fabulous and comfortable, and I bet you had your hand in quite a few changes since you've been there. The people of Fumei love it, too!”

“Ah... thanks...” She's got another reason for being embarrassed now, and her color shows. “Sometimes I'm really afraid I get obnoxious with that. It adds nothing to the point, after all. The long list of places I didn't get into were on the same page about that.”

“You really shouldn't care.” Nami nods. Then looking at the flustered Kat, she also cracks a big smile. “By the way, you make an extremely adorable Torao.”

“I do?” She asks, squishing her face. This is silly, but that's her middle name- or would be, if she had one. Nami starts laughing and Kat couldn't be happier- that's a success if she's ever heard one.

“I hope it takes a while for him to get his body back... weird fever dream Trafalgar Law won't get old any time soon.”

“Will do, ma'am~” she states proudly. After a minute of silent laughter she gets an idea; “Oh my god, you know what I should do? Law impressions. When people least expect it.”

“... you are an evil mastermind.” Kat almost expects Nami to start rubbing her hands together. “If you can pull it off, that is. Doesn't really make sense otherwise.”

Kat nods. She needs to be seriously serious when the time comes. Only... “Too bad I cannot keep a straight face to save my life.”

“See, that's indeed a problem.” comes her new confidant’s answer. “You almost laughed when dangling in front of the blind guy who had no qualms killing you when his subordinate made that unfortunate pun about eyes, too.”

She shrugs. “Couldn't help it. High quality situational comedy is always a godsens, even if I literally have to stuff my fist into my mouth. Not even the errand guy saw that right hook coming.”

Nami groan-cackles, and Kat starts laughing at her amusement, too, which in turn makes Nami laugh again because of the dissonance between what's the usual Law and this current mess of a not-Law. This self-fueling nonsense goes on for about five minutes, until both of them are out of breath. After another minute, Nami breathes “...you're horrible.” And so was the double pun at the expense of a very seriously injured man.

“I know... phew. And I'm also done for today.” She sighs, then yawns a bit after. “Surely you also wanted to do something else before we stormed you and Carrot?”

“Right...” she says, also with a hint of exhaustion in her voice. She looks at the clock then towards the ceiling. “Wanted to write a log entry before bath... then go to sleep.”

Kat groans, massaging her temples. “If Law keeps to his hissie fit for another day or two, I'll also have to ask you to let me bathe over here.”

“Hey, consider negotiations done.” Nami flaps a hand nonchalantly.

“Thanks. I'll wait the time limit out, though.” With that, she falls to the side and drags out one of the covers from under her. Be it freezing or cooking, can't sleep without a partial blanket at least, this one.

“Whatever you want, Kat. Willing or not, you are the guest here.” With that she stands up, and walks to the exit. “Want me to turn the lights off?”

She hums and the room gets dark. Maybe even half an hour passes as she's listening to the creaking wood, distant shouts, the faint thuds of occasional footsteps and the muffled sound of the sea outside before she drifts into sleep.

Another thirty minutes later Nami tiptoes back and turns on the nightlight. She takes a peek at her, and can't help but breathe a silent 'aww'.

As she's turning around, the door opens with Robin coming through. The navigator starts to point at the corner with great enthusiasm. Taking a look, the other smiles gently.

“Curled up like a kitten.” she states.

“I knew you would appreciate it.”

#Kate writes #KMKY

[cosmosogler]

really, REALLY late start today. sorry. i was trapped in tv tropes purgatory.

i really hurt my eyes with all the reading i did... and lost track of time.

anyway i got up early, at 9:05, and showered and drove out to the behavioral health center. i got a little turned around and was one minute late for my appointment. and i also hit the curb when i was trying to park because i’m good at driving when i’m stressed.

i managed to NOT damage the car this time at least! baby steps. curbs are the worst. i have never hit anything that wasn’t part of the ground. well, except for the recycling bin that dad decided to leave directly behind the car on the driveway that you couldn’t see from the rearview mirror. the car is normally in the garage so i couldn’t have seen the bin before i got in the car either.

ok i got sidetracked. i need to stay focused because i want to go to sleep because my head hurts. staying focused with a headache is really easy!!!

i hate that my stupid face scrunches up when i have a headache. it makes everything worse. because i always have a headache. mostly from grinding my teeth forever every day always.

ok so i got to the hospital and went in for the paperwork and interview. i got a quick medical check up and then filled out my paperwork. the nurse asked if i wanted something to drink and rattled off a bunch of available choices and i asked for water and she left and never came back. so i was thirsty for about an hour.

the doctor, charlie, came in well after i had figured out all the paperwork. i was expecting to be interrupted because i was  taking forever. but she was nice and asked questions and didn’t seem judgmental when i stumbled over my answers and gave caveats to all my problems. but then i mentioned that i couldn’t start until next week because i am going up to flagstaff to sort out school stuff and would miss two days of therapy this week. she immediately put down the survey and told me i could only start within three days of finishing the paperwork. so i would have to fill out everything again in a week if i wanted to start next week. i kinda sighed. but she promised she would keep my file so i didn’t have to redo EVERYTHING. and they are open on weekends so i can make an appointment for next monday and start right away on tuesday.

so i drove home. i sang badly along with my ipod. my voice was just not with it today. i don’t have as much range as the singer i was listening to even on a good day though. so i just had to hope that the car wasn’t judging me.

i got home and got caught up on some web sites and tumblr blogs and i started reading some homestuck analysis because i still think about it sometimes. i follow the fan comic “double death of the author” and it is very good and one of the writers wrote very detailed rants on why the ending was disappointing. it feels nice to see some of my thoughts in someone else’s words.

then i went to chipotle for lunch with dad and the neighbor and his daughter. the daughter is roommates with my sister at their apartment since they both go to the same university. recently she has been making some very bad and also dangerous decisions relating to alcohol so my sister has distanced herself from the neighbor’s kid. dad thinks she should just “forgive and forget” and “talk it out” but my sister is adamant that the daughter is not welcome in her life while she is making these decisions. she has forgiven her before and she always interprets it as permission to keep doing it, so my sister put her foot down after a really bad night.

i agree with my sister. i didn’t say that to anyone except her though.

the chipotle was good. i actually ate the whole burrito. the whole burrito! i didn’t put as many things in it as i usually would though.

after that i sank into my tv tropes/wikipedia fugue for several hours. there is just so much information. and i need to read literally all of it. i can barely even stop when i want to, if i manage to catch the time. i was like this when i read long novels too. reading while walking, reading at night in the car, reading under streetlights while we walked from the car to the store, waiting for my family to fall asleep late at night and then creeping into the bathroom and reading behind the door for hours and hours. i mean, i didn’t want to sleep, because horrifying nightmares. and i didn’t care about school, because the bullying was at its worst those years. the only genuinely interesting thing that didn’t also hurt me was reading. and it did hurt me... i don’t have as much “imagination” stamina as i used to and my eyes are getting weak. and i got back problems that i don’t tell my family about. it literally always hurts. i can’t make it stop.

i got yelled at for reading too long several times. when the last harry potter book came out my dad caught me reading upside down with my feet up against the wall at 3 am and nearly shook the walls when he punched the door. i didn’t even like harry potter as much as my sister did. mom caught me reading in the bathroom when i couldn’t wait long enough for her to go to bed to continue the story.

i just... have to look at all the information in front of me. it’s in instinct i can’t fight, and when i think about it, i don’t really want to fight it that much. it’s bad in some situations, but it’s mostly useful. and good when i need to make an informed decision.

even in discord channels, if other people had a conversation while i was away, even if i have no interest in the topic, and i know i won’t find it interesting, i will read it.

i’ve gotten just a little better about that, mostly because i don’t usually have the energy to interact with people.

anyway i remembered (i just also remembered right now so i will have to do that first thing in the morning) that i need to schedule my shuttle up to flagstaff for wednesday. so i went to ask dad what a good time for him to drop me off is. he said he was on the phone so i waited quietly and petted the dogs. eve is limping more than she was a few days ago.

after a few minutes dad spiked the phone into the desk and it hit the wall and fell behind the desk. i was startled, but i asked dad “what would be a good time for” and he interrupted me to snarl “i don’t care.” so i left the room.

he called me back into the room later by yelling at me. i asked what a good time would be for him since i needed to take the shuttle on wednesday, which is his physical therapy day. i have set aside wednesdays as “dad has full access to the car” days for the past several months so he could go to physical therapy for his elbow. he told me he hasn’t gone to that basically since i started scheduling my week around it. after yelling at me for not knowing about it and accommodating him when i first started leaving the house again.

COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so i gotta schedule the shuttle tomorrow morning. it’s 12:40 right now i can’t do it before i want to sleep if i’m gonna keep writing.

then i had the Iconic Exchange with asher about reach arounds. and then it was an hour later and mom got home and made a quiche. it was ok... it didn’t taste bad or anything, but i didn’t like the way that it filled up my mouth every single bite. i talked to mom about why she was angry at dad. they do not communicate effectively or understand each other very well. despite mom thinking she understands dad perfectly. they have very different priorities, and different priorities than the other thinks they have. then i took the dogs outside and then i took wiley on a walk. but only a short one because i had been chewed on by mosquitoes in the few minutes i took them out back and i was still tired and sore from the long drive yesterday.

then i kept reading tv tropes and then it was like 11. but i finally finished the tabs. all of them except two which i am not going to look at right now. even though they are interesting. 

i went downstairs and had some strawberries and came back up and watched some youtube. i found a new poet that is really cool. i put one of his works in my queue so that will post in like two days. i have a two-day queue buffer most of the time.

then i panicked when it was 12 and started writing!!! 

oh, mom talked to me about eve while i was eating. i mentioned that the sooner i left for florida at the end of the summer, the more likely it would be that eve would still be alive when i left. so i wouldn’t be there for her. mom made a face and asked if i really thought they wouldn’t take care of her. that’s not really what i was getting at, but i said that’s not what i thought and mentioned that she’s walking badly. mom said that my uncle mike was going to wait until she stopped using the leg and then amputate it. she should have up to another year in her if she recovers from the surgery well and the cancer hadn’t become malignant over the last few years. it will be easier for her to adjust to having three legs if she no longer uses the bad one anyway.

i don’t want her to die... but when i leave for florida i won’t be coming back, not really. they employ graduate students year-round. mom asked if i wanted eve to die and i said no but i felt guilty. it’s complicated... like, what if it was me. would i rather die around loved ones or live longer and see them leave. and how does my depression factor into my answer to that question in a way that it wouldn’t for eve? i can’t make the decision for her, but i also can’t communicate the situation to her in any way or get her feedback. all she can see is that i’m sad for some reason.

i watched her run around in the backyard with doge and wiley. diogi has resorted to little bunny-hops with her back legs to get moving while she scrambles much faster with her front legs. it looks funny but i’m glad she can still go more or less where she wants. eve has started running that way too though. supporting her back leg with her good one when she runs. diogi just kicks her back legs at the same time because it’s easier to coordinate. 

i dunno. i always feel wistful and sad when i watch the dogs. like this might be the last time i see them do this or that. how do they feel about it? they have to know. diogi’s doing “pack protection” behaviors that pack animals do when one of their members is sick or otherwise infirm. 

ehhhh i made myself sad. they’re not even dead yet. i am always happy to see them but also sad to know that i might not see them again. i can’t get that thought out of my head and just enjoy the time i got.

grief is weird. the past few days i’ve been feeling nothing and getting really confused when an emotion pops up because what even are emotions, but put an old dog in front of me and i feel REALLY BAD and it shoves me back into being alive IMMEDIATELY.

and then i’m gonna adopt a senior cat when i get to florida. a+ plan, can’t see how that will go wrong. there are no holes in this plan.

ok it’s 1 i gotta sleep. therapist appointment at 11:30 tomorrow. i will get up around 10 as usual though so it won’t be a rush. i was hoping i could push back my wake-up time to 9 but since it is already after 1 i don’t see that happening. i have just been too tired the last few days.

i know i had dreams last night but i don’t remember what they were about. just that they were there. as they always are. i can recall dreaming at least 6 nights a week, usually 7, even if i can’t remember anything besides vague impressions. and i don’t remember them less than half the time. it’s clogging up all my memory and emotion and energy space. for 20 years.

#oh look i talk about animal death again #grief is weird

[kchatjjigae]

Stephanie would give you a reporting on her BTS experience but she’s  dead. Totes dead. Killed by Kpop. Time of death, Friday, March 24th, approximately 8.30 pm. She died happy. May God have mercy on her pervy noona soul.

After meeting up with all factions of the Kpop Nerd Herd, we gathered at a Biergarten outside the Prudential Center–because apparently, pregaming kpop is a thing. Also, get this! The doors to the concert actually opened at 5.30! Holy smokes. Usually, my biggest complaint to kpop concerts is the fact that they are still loading in guests way past the time when the concert is supposed to start causing us, even with seated tickets, to have to get there way early in order to make sure we don’t miss anything. This time, nope, we walked through the doors, right through security and directly to our seats, not a single line to be waited in. It was a close second part of the evening. (First part of course, being anything having to do with BTS.)

As we all bought out tickets separately, we were all seated in various areas in the arena. I was by myself in section 7. Turns out 7 was one of the better sections of the group, beaten out only by Alexis who lucked out with P1 with sound check. Alexis who got in line, with her tent and sleeping bag, at 3am. Gads! I’d say that was crazy, but she got close, really close. Close enough to have full on Alexis/Jungkook interaction. I’m dead? I’m guessing she’s probably headed to the plot next to me.

I get to my SEAT, last to fill in the row, seated next to a J-HOPE and a Rap Monster bias. Not a bad place to be. My seat was right at the corner of the stage extension. The crowd screamed their excitement with every change of the monitors with their music video rotation. You know, because we kpop fans have no chill. We are like the anti chill. Eternally grateful they either allowed my camera in or didn’t find it in my bag, as my phone battery situation was scary–could you imagine what a sad, sad fangirl I would be if I came out of that thing without photographic proof I was there? Nope. Hellz nope.

Soon (as I really slipped in just moments before the show started) the lights darkened and due to my corner seat, I could literally see that all that separated us from BTS was a thin curtain. Yes, me and my (Let’s just come out and admit it) hands down favorite band were in the same country, the same state, zip code, building, room, we were breathing the same air. It’s a heady experience.

Then the curtain was gone. And there they were. Thank goodness I did have the camera as my memory of the thing is a hazy mess of happiness, fangirl squeeeeing, and BTS sweat.

After a disastrous attempt at video-chatting the experience with the McFeeleys  (damn you, cell service at the Prudential Center!) It was just me and the boys…and like 13000 other screaming fans.

Now. I’m not one of those girls who like any sort of sneak peak of what’s going to happen at a concert.  I avoid set lists. I run and way from fan cams. I feel like the surprise is part of the experience. This one going in though, especially since several members of the herd went to both nights, there were some details I was unable to avoid.

From the escaped set list, I knew everyone did a solo from the Wings album. I wasn’t really looking forward to this as I haven’t really listened to the wings album and I am under the assumption that I don’t like them, preferring my BTS as a whole rather than pieces. I knew, from Regina, that the costumes were made from lots of velvet, lots of sparkles.

Hrmmm…. BTS in sparkles? In velvet? And finally, I learned that they had some sound issues the first night where the background music was louder than the voices, which I wanted to believe that they would have fixed the second night around. Second-night people! When possible, always choose night two. Wait. Unless this would make it harder for me to get tickets to night two in which case, woah, first night, first night is the bomb! Get ’em fresh! Jet lag is sexy!

So, that being said, they sang the first one, being awesome of course, but then, since I was trying to live chat, I missed a good portion of it. However. The next song? BLEW MY EVER LOVIN’ BTS FANGRRRL MIND. What was it? Bapsae! Gah! I love this song so much, and not only that but, though I’m not really a ‘ooh look at that dance’ person, I’m all, look at that dance! This is the one song I honestly didn’t think that they would play, and I was literally sad that I’d never get to see them perform that awesome song and adorable dance in person. But I was wrong!!! They played it. It was awesome. The only thing was I couldn’t decide between video and photo so I basically put both down and just jammed out. Screaming my head off of course, but still jamming. If only they’d played it on the extended stage, it would have been perfect.

Side note. Just lost a massive amount of post due to a faulty save draft button. Endeavoring to continue. Harumph.

So. Unlike other bands that had multiple stages ahemBigbangahem BTS actually spent a fair amount of time on both stages, which made me–and the Rap Monster bias next to me very happy. Every time we caught sight of that front stage trap door opening, it was arm thumping and squeeeeing. This was also good because of their lighting choices made it so that anytime they were on the back stage, all video evidence of them were just white glowing orbs of happiness and gyrations. 

Also, you’ll notice my photos are a little Rap Monster and J-HOPE heavy. This was not an artistic choice. Okay. So maybe it was a bit. I couldn’t help myself. However, in my defense, they did spend a great deal of time on my side of the stage. It was almost like they knew and wanted to hang out with me. Plus I was egged on by the realization that I would make some of the members of our crew very happy documenting a little J-Hope. I wasn’t wrong.

Now. As I mentioned before, I did actually know they would be performing their solo stuff, and I have to admit it, I’m not the hugest fan, even after seeing them performed live. They aren’t terrible, they just, to me, aren’t very memorable. Except maybe Hobi’s song? Was he the one who sang about his mom? Oh, and Rap Monster when we all shouted that we loved him because his song is about not loving himself or something? Maybe if I give the songs more of a listen I’ll come to appreciate them more. 

Another song I kind of wished I’d been prepared for? Because I kind of lost my shit? Cypher 4. Holy fudge guys. I always meant to write a post on this song as, though I refused to listen to Wings, I do have it on my phone and one day I was on the train, heard this mind-blowingly awesome song that immediately hooked me in–turns out it was Cypher 4.

Gah! I love this song. To see the rap line out there all sexy strutting and growls it was flat-out amazeballs. There is really no other word to describe it. The jackets they wore. The saunters. The interaction. Not kidding, if they ever decided to eventually do a rap line sub unit, I would be all in. 

We should now probably talk about their costumes. Regina was right. They were heavy on the velvet, heavy on the sparkles, which is just weird, isn’t it? Thinking of their past concepts? Comparing BTS image from now to the little wannabe thug bunnies they first debuted as? Even their solo stuff was bedazzled.

My favorites, of course, will have to be the long robes that the rap line wore for the Cypher, but also the red knitted outfits they wore when they first came to the front stage. Jimin in that oversized red sweater?

Although everything was so oversized and layered it looked a bit like the outfits were actually eating the band. But who can blame them? Nom, Nom, Nom baby. The costume that did not go over well? Hands down would have to be what the KPNH referred to as the pink pearled Jackie O jackets. Seriously? What were they thinking? Whoever came up with that concept should probably…not be allowed to do that again. 

The stages itself was pretty simple, no fuss, no big show, the most they had were a few rising pillars in the back

and what appeared to be a glass phone booth that Rap Monster went into at the end of his performance and…I want to say Taehyung came out of at the beginning of his?

Hoseok had a chair, Yoongi an upright piano, but all in all, it was pretty minimal. They did have some backup dancers, but they were fairly unnecessary, really it just distracted from the main event rather than added to it–with the exception of the time that they lifted Jimin–that was pretty freaking cool. Go Jimin, go.

I think it showed that you really you could just have a great performance be a great performance. It’s like when good singers use autotune. Why? It certainly doesn’t add anything. And why bother with the expense?

There was a fun thing that they did at the end with the light sticks. The venue handed out colored bags that you could put your light stick in (the JHope fan grabbed me one and told me I could just use it with my cell phone battery–I totally would have if I hadn’t already run out of battery.) They handed out each section a color, so that at the encore when they boys came out again, the stadium would be lit up like a rainbow. That was pretty nice.

Rap Monster talked about how all colors could enjoy their music–or something like that–I was pretty much a wreck at that point, so I may have missed his meaning. 

Hands down this was one of the best concerts I’ve been to. Not just because the guys were there performing their asses off, but also knowing that I was there with almost all of my friends (shout out Cherry Cordial! Have fun at your concert soon!) were there in the stadium with me.

Knowing we were all having the same experience, knowing how much each and every one of us love this band, knowing that after this we would all get together and talk and squeee and laugh over the whole thing? Yeah, that’s what pushed the night over the edge for me and I will really never, ever forget it. 

Sappy much?

Anywhoo–I took way too many photos and here is a gallery of just a fraction of them….

The Wings Tour Or How BTS Murdered The Fangirl Stephanie would give you a reporting on her BTS experience but she's  dead. Totes dead. Killed by Kpop.

#Bangtang Boys #BTS #Concerts #Hoseok #Jeon Jungkook #JHope #Jimin #Jung Hoseok #Jungkook #Kim Seokjin #Kim Taehyung #Min Yoongi #Namjoon #Park Jimin #Rap Monster #Seokjin #Suga #Taehyung #Yoongi

[master-nikoli]

tagged by: @allihavearevoices

Five Fictional Charectos I most identify with

Ariel (The Little Mermaid)

There's a reason she's my OOC mascot and it isn't just because she's a redhead, when I was a kid EVERYTHING was Ariel, or atleast I tried to make it so (fun fact: In the early days Ariel was actually not a popular princess to be smacked on merchandise, Disney used to put her "in the vault" all the FREAKING time and so whenever there WAS something Ariel related available I would foam at the mouth for it... I still foam at the mouth for Ariel stuff to be honest but atleast I can just walk in Walmart and get practically anything these days) Ariel and I are actually completely opposite and completely the same, because where she only ever wanted to be human, I only ever wanted to be... anything but, especially a mermaid, I know it's a common thing for little girls to want to be mermaids but dude.... I SO wanted to be a mermaid, I would have utter TANTRUMS everytime it came to leaving the neighborhood pool because I just wanted to be in the water, I STILL love being in water even though I'm not a very good swimmer, but past that, Ariel is the oddball of her family who doesn't want to conform to what her dad wants (my mom is actually the same as I am, but she married someone who's very traditional in alot of his thinking and so a very large part of my childhood was spent trying to gnaw my way through his traditionalist ideas- with my mom's help ofcourse) I get so annoyed and protective of Ariel when people say that ~she abandonded everything she loved for a guy she didn't know~ excuse me no did you even WATCH the freaking movie? (Not to mention the TV show?) Ariel was desperate to get away from her father and her strict lifestyle COMPLETELY regardless of Eric, he was just a convenient excuse, and I'm pretty sure anyone who watched the TV series would agree that Eric could have been a TURTLE and she still would have made the deal with Ursula, it was never about wanting to be with Eric- that was a happy bonus- it was about being free, and although I'm not an adventurous person I completely understand that, I'll take any opportunity I can get to stab someone's traditionalist opinions (especially if they're in my family) and kick against it as hard as I possibly can, Ariel doesn't want to be what everyone else wants her to be and I'm SEVERELY lucky that I grew up with a mom who never had any of the same ass-backwards thoughts on what I "should" be that most other people did, I spent most of my young life fighting and biting everyone who tried to shove me into a box that I didn't want to be in and it was EXHAUSTING, if an evil witch had offered ME a three-day out solution to what I thought was freedom when I was sixteen? Yeah I would have taken that deal too, plus Ariel is a hoarder, let's be totally honest, and I identify with that, I, like Ariel, collect things- I have treasure troves and treasure boxes and book shelves that are honestly on the verge of collapse (I mean ALOT of them) and I.. may get extremely OCD about things (because hey, mental disorder, fun right?) For example I have a not-so-minor obsession with boxes, I hate throwing out a good box, I'm like a cat that way, if there's any POSSIBLE conceivable use for it I'll find a way to try to keep it (I really do feel sorry for my poor mother...) I sort of hoard wrapping papper too, Christmas is a nightmare just because THERE'S SO MUCH GOOD WRAPPING PAPPER OH MY GOD and I want to buy like twenty sticks of it, I also collect some really unusual things (well, depending on what you define as "unusual") and I have a very hard time letting go of things because I have this sense of "But what if I need it later?", I also LIVE for music, I may not be able to sing (although I used to try really hard) but music is a HUGE part of my life, and there were actually ALOT of episodes in the series where it's made very, very, clear that music is immensely important to Ariel too, not just because she can sing, but because of everything that music represents to her, I'm also a huge animal lover, let's be totally honest if there was ever a chance that I could sneak a baby orca into my room I would have, I love animals and babies and jewlry and those are all things Ariel has been associated with in the TV series (haha... ahhh that charm bracelet that nearly killed her... yeah that's exactly the kind of bullshit stunt I would pull probably) As much as I LOVE the newer princesses like Elsa and Moana, no one is ever going to replace the spot Ariel has in my heart, I still get overwelmingly excited over everything Ariel

Rukia Kuchiki (Bleach)

Oh my God the love I have for this girl... (even though Tite Kubo screwed her over to the point of no return) Rukia was my gateway into alot of things, cosplay, for example, wich I sadly don't do anymore but wich I still deeply, deeply, deeply love, Rukia is everything I WANT to be, she's beautifull and strong and gracefull and powerfull and I really don't have much in terms of her strengths.... her weaknesses, however, are alot like my own, she has virtually no self-esteem (especially at the beginning of the series) a bad temper, no ability to draw, a love of stuffed animals that literally almost costs her a fight at one point (I would throw my sword down and run into a mountain of plushies too...) an insane love for cute things, especially bunnies (I prefer puppies but still! BUNNIES!!) a general weirdness about her taste in things (she can go from creepy horror manga to adorable kitten plushie in zero seconds flat and so can I) she actually wears the exact same style of sundresses that I've been known to wear- especially when I was younger, she's very feminine and girly but really doesn't get into make up or traditional "girly" things like romcoms and gossip and, you know, the things that you hear girls "should" like out of tween magazines, she brawls with the boys and isn't afraid to fight dirty and because she's short that's sometimes all she can do (I'm only about an inch taller than she is) She's very quiet, shy, and respectfull..... if she deems you worthy of that in some way or if you're someone she wants to impress (This is a big reason why convention scenes never worked out for me, I'm very social and outgoing but I was always so worried about impressing other con people that I would just freeze up like a popsicle) Otherwise, if she's comfortable with you in some way, she's pretty brash, headstrong, opinionated, loud, and tempermental, ofcourse she has close freinds who she's very soft and gentle with because that's just how their relationship is, but then she also has freinds who she can freely cuss out at her leisure, I identify with her in alot of ways, in alot of ways- like Ariel- I don't, and alot of things about her are more things that I WANT to be rather than what I AM, but there's more than enough in there to be identifiable

Stiles Stilinski (Teen Wolf)

I was just telling my mom earlier today how the longer the series goes on the more I identify with him, I think (considering these aren't ranked in order) he's definately the fictional charector I identify with most, there are so many shades of him that are just identical to me to the point where I've heard him have conversations that are almost EXACTLY like conversations I've had, he has relationships that are EXACTLY like relationships I've had, it's uncanny, we're both just squishy humans (well... I'll argue magic!Stiles until the day I die but still) who really are pretty powerless in the big scheme of things so when we're on the offensive we use sarcasm and quick tempered insults to defend ourselves, or go charging into something with a weird weapon without thinking totally prepared to stab someone or smack them over the head if we have to (no kidding, last weekend I ran outside with my Rukia sword- a real sword by the way, althouh dull as cutting board- because I was worried about someone who was acting suspiciously in my driveway, but that's a long, personal story I won't be getting into) We're both bookworms who would much rather study the weirdest things imaginable than what we should *actually* study (Stiles had circimcission, I had manga) We both have really short tempers and although we MEAN well we do tend to bite if we're caught at the wrong moment, we're both at the "I'm pretty sure I'm bi but given my lack of romantic experience I'm also kind of timid about everything" stage, we both play fantasy RPGs (although his are probably more like video games and mine are more indie and group RP blogs) we have alot of the same taste in humor and in media, we both love werewolves to quite a startling amount and would 10000% take the werewolf's side of any argument, we're both very twitchy, very verbal, talk ALOT (if you couldn't tell) and have pretty much the exact same anxiety disorder, I have honestly, honestly, never seen my disorder represented as well anywhere as it is in canon with Stiles, I'm really not exaggerating when I say his is identical to mine, we're very creative people, we'll defend our loved ones with more fire and force than is at times warranted, we both have an IMMENSE love for our moms and a.. complicated... relationship with our dads, we both had some really massive trouble in school that came more out of people being unwilling to accept you when you're different than it did out of being dumb or being unwilling to study, a history of teachers hating us, a tendency to form relationships with people and hold on as tightly as we can even when they start hurting us and we should probably let them go, and I'm pretty sure if it ever came up Stiles would have some pretty awesome conspiracy theories (as do I *cough*) I could really just go on and on and on if you laid Stiles down on a map and started giving me push-pins but it's four in the morning and I'm tired

Yuri Katsuki (Yuri On Ice)

Yuri is probably the second best representation I've ever seen of anxiety (and I only rank Stiles first with that because his particular *type* of anxiety is most like my own, Yuri's and mine have some slight differences but are overall extremely close) and it's just such a constant, nagging,  part of him, the best way to describe it is something I read in a YOI meta once- "At the beginning of the series he was the best male figure skater in Japan and one of the top six in the world but he defines himself as 'your average, dime a dozen figure skater'", and that's... pretty much the disorder to a T, alot of times I know LOGICALLY that I'm better at something than I think I am, or not as bad as I think I am (I'm 21 and have published 13 books in the last three years, I can't be *that* bad of a writer logically but I still *feel* like I am most of the time) We both end up letting our emotions get the better of us, can be obsessive and perfectionists, we both have a soft spot for music and femininity and LOVE dogs, we both clearly prefer food to anything even remotely sexual and would probably marry food if we could (Yuri has katsudon, I have Ranch dressing, enough said) ... even when it hurts us... (Yuri put on weight, I'm actually allergic to alot of types of Ranch dressing and get pretty freaking sick from it sometimes, but does that stop me? No... my mom does, she stops me) We both have really super supportive mothers who have gone out of their way to gamble on something that most people can't make a career out of because they have faith in us, we're both not *great* with social media, we both are often intimidated by people in our talent feilds who are on level with or better than us, neither of us know what the hell we're doing when it comes to anything romantic or sexual (despite mainly RPing //BDSM threads// I actually have never even come somewhat close to finding eros myself- or anything even remotely romantic) We're both very timid about trying new things and need alot of convincing to do it, and if I didn't have a headache right now I could probably think of more

Misty Day (American Horror Story: Coven)

The animal-loving witch who dances with scarves and worships Stevie Nicks? Yeah, this is me, without a doubt, I love all things eccentric, especially clothes and music, I love Stevie Nicks, my own personal hell would probably, in fact, be identical to Misty's- between my immense love of animals and complete unwillingness to hurt them even if it literally saved my life, my utter HORROR stories related to school, being ruthlessly bullied for being weird, being forced to conform when I just wanted to escape..... yep, that's one personal hell for me, we don't think we're anything special and all we really want is to find a place to fit in where we can be who we are without having to conform to anything, neither of us even WANT to be some kind of big supreme thing, we just want to chill with our music and scarves and twirl around with our tribes (or wolf packs, whatever) We're both weird and a mix of outgoing and insecure and really just want some peace and quiet, we're both basically witch-hippies and if you think for one second that I wouldn't do to those alligator hunters exactly the same thing Misty did to them then you are terribly wrong because I //so. would.//, we're both kind of naive and airheaded at times and if I ever met Stevie Nics I would 100% faint from it too

Honorable mention: Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter) I've always been a Hermione girl but I probably have alot more in common with Luna, we're both so weird and eccentric and have been pushed around and bullied alot for that, we believe in things that other people don't see or believe in, we have our own weird fashion sense and we're more creative and imaginative than we are academically smart, ofcourse, the thing is, I'm a Slytherin ;)

#ooc

[adauntlessangel]

BRYCE AND EMELIA

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

How long will they last? - Fantasy; Forever. Reality; Well, Emilia wants forever. Bryce seems reluctant but hopefully he will come around. 

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Emilia fell after a few months. But then she stopped when New Years Eve hit and she questioned everything. It took Bryce for them to break-up to realize that holy shit, this girl was the definition of perfect…what have I done? For him to realize. So, it took them both about a year. 

How was their first kiss? - First kiss? It held a lot of innocence to it, purely because Emilia is a delicate flower and was being exposed to, at the time, a dangerous thorn. It was summer, around their third date (three dates, right? Who would have thought Bryce could hold out. But he did) but maybe after was the wrong word. It was during their third date. There was  movie festival going on in the city. Tents, fairylights, popcorn, basically a glamping/movie crossover event. It features quite a few old films that Bryce enjoyed and Emilia was always eager to experience new things. Plus, she found it beyond adorable how Bryce’s eyes seemed to just light up the second he mentioned the event. So, the two of them had gone. What no one had planned on was for it to rain! In the middle of ‘An American In Paris’ it literally started to downpour. Emilia was squealing and giggling with laughter as Bryce took his jacket off and the two of them took cover beneath a large willow tree. Fairylight were glittering all around them and the raindrops were added a diamond affect. They were surrounded by low lighting and they were breathing a bit too fast for their health considering they had fleed from the scene. They both had water droplets running down their face, and Bryce wrapped his blazer around her shoulders. It may have been hot but the sudden rain had the brunette shivering. That and she had been wearing a summer dress, who wouldn’t be chilled? Given that fact the two of them were lost in one anothers gaze, something out of an old film enough in itself. Bryce’s fingers had caressed the fullness of Emilia’s cheeks, in something of a weak attempt to dry her off. Though their wet clothes and ruined movie date were forgotten as he leaned in to kiss her. (May I add in after this date Emilia had caught a cold and soon enough gave it to Bryce because well, that is the definition of their relationship. They’re toxic for one another…but in a beautiful way.) Maybe it was the fact she’d been freezing or the way his mouth had tasted…whatever the reason was, the second Bryce’s lips came into contact with Emilia’s, she warmed. Everywhere. After a few gentle pecks, Bryce had pulled back only to say “Well aren’t we cliche…” Which Emilia responded but laughing softly and whispering “Shut up.” As she kissed him again, and this time she didn’t stop. The taste of Bryce on her lips had been mixed with the taste of rainwater and salt (popcorn) and ever since that evening, whenever it rained…Emilia always felt happy. 

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Bryce did. That’s a whole story to be hashed out though. 

Who is the best man/men? - I want to say Will but I have a feeling it’s his friend Leighton who had helped Bryce get Emilia back when they’d split up. 

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Okay, it’s MAN OF HONOR and it was Will. (Emilia isn’t good with having lady friends)

Who did the most planning? - Emilia did but she let Bryce hone in on a few details. Like the ceremony and the reception. Plus their honeymoon, lord knows he wanted to get in on that!

Who stressed the most? - Emilia did. But not really over the wedding, she was stressed because…well she had gotten cold feet. Not from the fact she didn’t want to marry Bryce. Everyone knows she did. She always had. She had been afraid she would have her dream wedding, dream dress, dream everything….and only to walk down to no one at the end of the aisle. She would be completely terrified at the last minute Bryce would bolt. We’ll find out later why she felt comforted the night before the wedding. 

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. 10000+ This is Bryce and Emilia we’re talking about…the bigger the better. Plus, Bryce’s parents probably paid for the most of it. 

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Emilia’s ex-best friend Lindsey was absolutely NOT invited!

Sex:

Who is on top? - Emilia. Bryce has this certain infatuation with watching this hazel eyed goddess ride him. Maybe it’s something in the way she looks down at him that holds more than just the lust she feels with him buried to the hilt inside of her. Or maybe it’s because he has a thing for putting her pleasure first subconsciously since he had hurt her so badly in the past and he just doesn’t realize. Who knows? 

Who is the one to instigate things? - Lol. Bryce. He’s like a puppy when it comes to sex, no joke. Granted a very charming puppy who lures this beautiful girl into bed everytime but regardless, it’s Bryce. Unless Emilia is feeling really in the mood (which happens when she watches her man in action with work. Something about him and a tie…who knows why but it makes her blood warm..)

How healthy is their sex life? - Let’s just put it this way, their neighbors probably hated them. Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Haha. Remember that tie I mentioned earlier? Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Depends on the day but I want to say all night? Bryce is competitive and he’s an over achiever. He likes to get things done, perfectly…and lets just say when he has a goal or mission in mind, nothing stops him. 

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Absolutely. Granted, Bryce goes a bit overboard with Emilia because he loves watching that back arch and her eyes to roll right back into her head. That along with the way she basically whimpers his name with need, it feeds him on a level only she can reach. 

How rough are they in bed? -  Not sure if  they could make Dwayne blush unless it’s make-up sex after a bit fight. But, they surprise me a lot. Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -  So much! One time Bryce was cuddling her and started blowing raspberries on her tummy, which of course they seemed to head south if you catch my drift, but these two are snuggle buddies!No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Maybe 1…[Emilia wants at least 3/]

How many children will they adopt? - 0.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Emilia. 

Who is the stricter parent? - Emilia, because Bryce is unsure sometimes and looks to her for the guidance. He never wanted children but Emilia does. 

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - I feel like it is probably an even amount of both. Emilia might be stricter but since Bryce knows how bad things can get when you misbehave (with Emilia involved) he probably interferences a lot. 

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Emilia, she cuts the crust off their sandwiches. :D

Who is the more loved parent? - Bryce. Literally, Bryce is. Their children love Bryce so much it’s almost comedic. I think they get it from Emilia, who would have thought the boy who deserved no love, would be loved this much? 

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Both. Emilia is dragged as Bryce goes (he loves the center of attention and how jealous Emilia gets because all of the PTA moms think Bryce is hot but he only has eyes for Emilia and she literally gets so jealous that when a bake sale comes into town she OD’s so much it’s not even funny)

Who cried the most at graduation? - Emilia did, blubbered like a baby. 

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Bryce! He’ll cover their kids asses so much it’s not even funny. It’ll piss Emilia off because she’s going to throw out that whole ‘how will they learn’ spiel but yeah haha. 

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - It’s kind of on and off, they eat out a lot. Bryce works late sometimes and Emilia too. It’s kind of a rare occasion(pre-children) that they get a chance to cook. 

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Bryce because he is a grown ass manchild. 

Who does the grocery shopping? - They both do? Bryce finds it amusing by how happy Emilia gets by going to the grocery store. He thinks it’s ridiculous something so stupid makes her happy but hey, he loves her and he can’t help but chuckle when she ooh’s over new cereal. 

How often do they bake desserts? - They both have a sweet tooth, so, often?

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Meat. All the way. Steak, everything haha. 

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Surprise? Bryce. He had a knack for surprising her more times than not. Maybe not for an anniversary but just in general. 

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Bryce? Honestly like I said they both like to eat out. 

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Sadly, Emilia. Simply because she’ll be distracted trying to study and attempt a homecooked meal. 

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Emilia. 

Who is really against chores? - Bryce because he is a spoiled manchild but Emilia makes him. 

Who cleans up after the pets? - They both do, but I don’t think they want animals?

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Bryce. that’s how he would show off that he ‘cleaned’.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Emilia because she wants to offer good impressions for both herself and Bryce. It’s not your casual BBQ buddies that come over. They’re CEO’s and entrepreneurs. 

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Lol. Emilia. But then they argue over who actually gets it because it’s Bryce’s couch.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - I feel like they both do. Emilia and Bryce have a soft spot for shower sex...so. 

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - I want to say again, they both would? Emilia doesn’t like being home alone at night and Bryce is trying to show how manly he is by walking their dog. 

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Lol. Often. Emilia goes overboard. She loves the holidays, and Bryce probably won’t ever admit it, but with Emilia? I think he loves it too. 

What are their goals for the relationship? - I know Emilia wants them to live happily ever after, married with babies. I feel like Bryce wants to be with her forever...just not with the title? It’s complicated. 

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Bryce, and Emilia would let him. He deserves it. 

Who plays the most pranks? - ... This is an ongoing thing so I do not know. 

#hurtpeoplearelethal #Bryce & Emilia

[dezza-who-blog]

Neighbors Chapter 3

"I don't know if this is a good idea..." The whispered words barely made it past my lips. A glimmer of uncertainty flashed in his eyes as he gazed down into my own. Jin swallowed and glanced away, and I started to move from my spot between his too-near body and the wall behind me. He wasn't going to let me go that easily. Before I could even manage a gasp, he'd gripped my waist with one hand and shoved me back against the wall, just rough enough to let a sliver of his desire show through his gentlemanly exterior. He moved even closer, cutting short any idea I might have had of trying to leave this spot again. He rested the forearm of his free hand against the wall above my head and leaned in slowly, never taking his eyes from my own. I couldn't breathe. My heart beat erratically in every vein of my body, and everything was so hot, the atmosphere too thick. My lips parted slightly to allow more air into my lungs, and his eyes finally left my own, locking on my lips. His gaze was intense and hazy and hungry and nervous, all at once. He lowered his head further, slowly, his perfect lips only a mere couple inches from my burning face now. They parted, barely, mirroring my own. My eyes drifted closed and his forehead came to rest gently against mine. For a few heavy, feverish moments, that's how we stayed, his skin against mine, our bodies centimeters away from pressing into each other, our lips close enough to feel each other's every breath against our cheeks. "Why?" he whispered, his voice shaking just slightly, his words ghosting against my cheek. I opened my eyes and took in the too-calm expression on his handsome face. Seeing him so serious did something to my heart. I wanted his smile back but didn't know how to bring it out. "Why?" I managed, not understanding what he meant. It earned me a smile, but it wasn't the cheerful one that I missed. It seemed sad. His eyes met mine again. "Why wouldn't this be a good idea?" His fingers gripped my waist a little tighter and my breath caught, my eyes half closing again as his chest brushed lightly against mine beneath the thin cloth of our shirts. His smile slowly grew more confident and his thumb traced back and forth along the bottom of my ribs, sending delicious tremors across my skin. "Because from where I'm standing," he breathed, "it looks like the best idea I've had since I met you." His face lowered again, but not to my mouth. His soft lips skimmed my cheek and came to rest against my ear as he sighed, and my blood caught fire from the feeling of his breath against that insanely sensitive spot. My knees went weak, but I'm not even sure he noticed. His strong grip on my waist held me firmly in place. And then he pulled away and took a step back. I stared at him in confusion and he smiled again, a bit ruefully. "I won't push you. I respect your decision." I blinked, realizing that I sort of didn't want him to respect my decision. He slipped one hand in his pocket and brushed the other over the back of his neck, clearing his throat and suddenly looking everywhere but at me. "Just know... I plan on getting you to change that decision." His eyes cut back to me, sweeping from my eyes to my mouth and back up as his tongue eased out to moisten his lips. My face flamed and he smirked. "I will get you to change it. So look forward to that." My eyes snapped open, a thin film of sweat on my skin and my heart pounding against my ribs. Jesus fucking christ. What the hell was that about? The dream had already started to fade, but the fever remained. I blinked rapidly and ran a hand over my face. I'd had dreams like that before, of course, but never with a man I'd actually met. They usually starred Johnny Depp, or Shemar Moore... or Jason Momoa. I took another few breaths and shook my head as I climbed out of bed. I was in desperate need of a cold shower. I had just stepped out and barely had time to pull on an oversized t-shirt and cotton shorts before the knock came at the door. I skipped down the stairs in a suprisingly good mood, answering it with a smile. "Tae!" I exclaimed brightly. "What's up?" His own cheerful smile outshone mine a million times over. "Are you really coming to have dinner with us?" I was confused for a moment, and then the events of the day before came flooding back. Ah. I had said that. A tiny bit of my good mood ebbed away, but looking at the hopeful excitement on Tae's face, I guessed it didn't seem quite so terrible an idea as it'd seemed yesterday. I grinned and nodded. He literally bounced and clapped, before grabbing me in a hug that was already over before I could protest. "Namjoon said so but we thought he was teasing. Jin said he's going to start cooking at 3, if you want to help." I laughed and nodded again. His energy was infectious. "Of course I do. Is it okay if I bring some stuff as well?" His eyes lit up. "Like more food? Yeah!" I found myself laughing again. I asked what Jin already had to cook, and Tae named off a couple Korean dishes I was familiar with (including my favorites, spicy kimchi and galbi), then checked if everyone was okay with seafood and liked veggies, receiving another enthusiastic yes. He finally left after enveloping me in yet another of those two-second hugs that I was quickly beginning to adore. Shaking my head, I made my way back inside and ran a brush through my mostly dry hair, before searching out my purse and throwing my shoes on. I glanced over at the neighbor's house as I climbed into my car, waving at Jungkook who was once again on the balcony talking on his phone. He smiled and returned the gesture, then I was off to the store. Tae had confirmed that there were, indeed, seven boys at the house, so I made sure to pick up twice as many ingredients as I would have normally. I grabbed lobster tails, along with shrimp, bell peppers, onions, and baby red potatoes to make skewers. It was something I'd been making since I learned to grill, and I'd never met anyone who didn't love them. After a moment of debate, I also searched out the ingredients for my homeade banana pudding, since Tae hadn't mentioned Jin making any sweets. Satisfied with my haul, I checked out and hurried back to the house. I was actually a bit excited. I hadn't had anyone to cook for since Hye-ji, my best friend, had moved back to Korea to take care of her mom, and even then I'd only had her and her boyfriend to feed occasionally. I hadn't cooked for a family since I moved out of my parents'. Smiling to myself, I started to unload the groceries, only to be bombarded by Tae again, this time with Jungkook tailing rather shyly behind him. This close up, I could see he was just as gorgeous as my initial impression of him had seemed, though he had an underlying adorable, almost bunny-like look about him. I greeted them as Tae took the bag from my hands, telling me to let them help, and passed it to Jungkook, then grabbed another couple bags himself before I could say another word. I stuttered out a suprised thank you as they went ahead and carried the food over to their house. Grabbing the last couple bags- the puddding ingredients- I headed inside to go ahead and throw it together, glancing at the clock in the hall to make sure I had enough time to let it chill for a couple hours. It was only noon, so I was good to go. About an hour later, I stuck the finished product in the fridge to set and climbed the stairs to my room. I still had a little bit to relax before having to get ready, but I went ahead and dug through my closet for something comfy enough for the heat but also cute enough to make me feel good. I ended up settling on an airy, slinky blue and black babydoll shirt and soft black shorts, already knowing I just wanted to wear my flats. I had a half dozen pairs of heels and at least as many different types of boots, but this California heat made me cringe at the thought of any extra effort in the wardrobe department. I hadn't even really worn makeup since I came out here, and didn't plan on it tonight either. Chapstick would do just fine, thanks. Glancing at the clock, I realized I'd taken a lot longer deciding what to wear than I'd been aware of. It was already 2:15. I hurridly threw on the outfit and brushed the tangles from my hair, tieing most of the thick, curly mass back in a high ponytail. After taking a moment to wash my face again, I slipped on my flats, descended the stairs, grabbed the desert from the fridge and was out the door, making sure to lock it behind me. Some of my excitement started to ebb away to be replaced by nerves as I crossed from my yard to their's. I mentally kicked myself. This was no big deal. I'd hung out with guys before. Granted, Hye-ji had always been there, but with the way she and I acted we may as well have been guys ourselves. This was no different. Stepping up to the front door, I took a few deep breaths, collecting myself and fighting back my ridiculous nerves. I wasn't some hormonal teenage flirt, and so far it seemed like the neighbors I'd met so far were genuinely nice guys. Though I still wasn't sure what Namjoon's deal was. And then there was the fact that I hadn't met the other three yet. "Knocking would probably help." My soul left my body as someone spoke from directly behind me. I spun around, nearly dropping the dish in my panic. Strong hands steadied me, then immediately let go, grabbing the dish from me as well. "Can't have you wasting food." I'm sure I was staring. The man in front of me stood a few inches taller than myself but not as tall as the others I'd met, with a slender frame, fashionably tattered skinny jeans, and a plain, baggy black shirt. What stole my attention, however, was his shaggy, pale, bubblegum pink hair. He cocked his head slowly to the side, his eyes squinting a little in concentration as he took in my appearance as well. A small smirk tipped his lips. "Do you see something interesting?" I blinked, feeling my face warm as I quickly lowered my gaze. "Ah, sorry," I laughed nervously. "Um, I like your hair. I'm Dezza." His smirk spread to a small smile and he nodded. "I thought so. I'm Yoongi." He bowed his head slightly before stepping around me to the door, pushing it open. "It's just me and Hoseok right now, but come on in. Namjoon and Jimin are still at work, and the others went to pick up some last minute stuff for dinner." I hesitated then nodded and swallowed my nerves, following him inside. Great, no one I'd met so far was here. I would have been more on edge being in a house with two guys I didn't know, but something about Yoongi put me at ease. He had a no-bullshit air about him that was oddly comforting. I glanced around as he led me through to the kitchen, setting the dessert in the fridge before sweeping me into the living room. Another guy was sprawled on the spacious couch, one leg thrown over the arm, playing a game on his phone. He glanced up as we walked in, quickly sitting up and combing his fingers through his touseled black hair as his eyes passed between Yoongi and myself. After a brief awkward moment, he beamed at me and bowed his head. "Dezza, yeah?" I smiled back and nodded. "Hoseok? Nice to meet you." He clammered to his feet, rushing over to clasp my hand, still wearing that contageous smile. "Would you like something to drink? We have juice and tea. And Sprite!" I laughed and told him Sprite was fine, since he seemed so excited about it, taking a seat on the couch he'd vacated. I wasn't really sure what to do with myself, and Yoongi didn't seem to know or care, since he just propped himself against the doorframe and looked at me. "So..." I ventured. "All of you guys live together?" He nodded. "Makes traveling and working together easier." "Cool. What kind of work do you do?" He eyed me for a moment, seeming to think something over. "Studio work." Vague. Okay. I supposed maybe it was too personal a question. "We do choreography and stuff like that," Hoseok offered, walking over to hand me my Sprite and take the spot beside me. I stared at the drink. He'd added both a lemon and a lime wedge to the glass. "Fancy," I grinned. "Only the best for our honored guest." I laughed outright at that one. "Honored?" Yoongi chimed in. "Well, you did willingly agree to cook for us. That basically earns you our undying loyalty." He pondered something and grinned. "At least, if it's good." We all laughed, and just like that, I was completely at ease. Yoongi suggested playing video games to pass the time since the others would probably be a moment, and I proceeded to kick both of their asses in Smash Bros, earning some shocked yet impressed looks and sarcastic bows feigning respect. We were having such a great time that we didn't even hear the door open or notice the others come in until a round of applause met my third Yoongi victory. Startled, we spun to find Namjoon and a guy I still hadn't met leaning against the wall by the door as if they'd been there for a while. I blushed and gave a mock bow, and Hoseok introduced me to the seventh and final neighbor, Jimin. He had an adorable, innocent looking face complete with round cheeks and an easy smile, and his expertly styled hair was a striking gray. Despite the innocent face, the guy had a suprisingly masculine stature, not to mention a killer jawline... I stared for a bit longer than was necessary, as I was doing more and more often lately. He smiled wide, extending a hand for me to shake. His hands were almost exactly the same size as mine, odd for most guys, but it seemed oddly fitting with his youthful appearance. "I should probably head up to shower," he admitted, not taking his eyes from mine. "I'm all sweaty. Promise you'll still be here when I get back?" The tease made my face flush and I laughed a bit nervously. "Of course. Didn't they tell you? I'm playing assistant chef for the night." He raised his perfect brows at the others, almost accusingly. "I hadn't heard, no." Namjoon cut him a look. "Well, if you'd come home more than 3 or 4 hours a night to sleep, you'd have known. She's our neighbor, we invited her to dinner. She didn't want to 'impose', so she's helping Jin out in the kitchen." Jimin glanced back at me appreciatively. "You can cook?" It was my turn to tease. "I guess you'll find out in a couple hours, huh?" He nodded again and excused himself to go shower just as the door opened again and Jin, Jungkook and Tae poured in, laughing about something. They were a bit suprised to see me in their living room, but Tae, at least, recovered quickly, bolting forward to catch me in his signature hug, which I returned this time. The guy had grown on me, fast. Jungkook smiled and nodded a bit shyly before asking where Jimin was and rushing up the stairs after him, and Jin smiled warmly and apologized for them taking so long. "It's us you should be apologizing to!" Yoongi exclaimed in mock seriousness, gesturing back to the television. "Thanks to you we've had our asses handed to us and our pride shredded trying to entertain the girl!" Everyone laughed and Tae begged to play so I handed him my controller and promised I'd play him after dinner, following Jin back to the kitchen to get started. After a few moments of washing hands, finding dishes, suppressing unwelcome reminders of the dream I'd had, and him expressing his thanks, we got started. Prep didn't take very long on my part, and I made my way out back to throw the lobster tails and skewers on the massive grill that looked like it must have cost a small fortune. Namjoon was already out there and had the charcoal going, so I was able to go ahead and throw everything on. He watched me with a curious look, and I found myself flushing under his gaze. "Is there something wrong with what I'm wearing or something?" He startled, as if he hadn't even noticed I'd seen him looking, and it was his turn to blush. "Ah, no. You look great. I mean, it's fine. What you're wearing." I nodded. "Uh, thanks." "I was just wondering if maybe you wanted some help or something." I smiled but shook my head. "I've got it, but thank you. I love working with grills. How's the hand?" He looked confused, so I gestured to his bandage. "Oh, yeah, it's good. Thanks again for the first aid stuff. Thought I was gonna bleed out before Jin could get to a store." He laughed nervously. "And uh, sorry for the flower pot, by the way." My cheeks heated. "W-why? It's not like you made me do it. I'm a klutz. It wasn't your fault." A knowing smirk tipped his insanely attractive lips. "Wasn't it though?" I lost concentration for just long enough for me to brush my hand directly against the grill rack, gasping and leaping away when I felt the sudden flash of pain. "Shit." I cursed, shaking my fingers as if that would help. Namjoon rushed to my side as the patio door flew open and Hoseok popped his head out. "What happened?" He saw me clutching my hand and put it together before we could say anything, ducking back inside. Namjoon grabbed my hand and snatched his glass of water from the rail beside him amd slowly poured it over my red fingers, cooling the burn a little. "Told you. Klutz," I groaned. He tried not to laugh. "Point proven." I grimaced. "I should probably head home to put something on this." "No need," Jin said, stepping onto the patio with a first aid kit in hand. "Picked a new one up today. Someone usually gets burned when we grill." Namjoon cringed. Jin sat me down on one of the patio chairs and gently and skillfully spread burn cream over my injured fingers. "It doesn't look like it will blister," he mused, deftly wrapping my fingertips in gauze in a way that wouldn't make using my hand awkward as I tried not to focus on how his gentle fingers felt on my skin. By then everyone had made it out to the patio to witness my medical attention with concerned looks on their faces. "It already feels better," I assured everyone, flexing my fingers once Jin was finished. "I'm fine." The guys smiled and nodded respectively. "I dont think it's best for you to take Tae up on that match tonight though," Jin continued. "Best if you don't use your fingers too much." I glanced over at Tae apologetically, and he made a ridiculously cute pouty face before his bright smile popped back out. "That's fine. Just means you have to come back another day." I laughed and nodded. "I guess so." The guys (Yoongi in particular) refused to let me near the grill again, so Yoongi ended up helping Jin in my place. I instructed him on when to flip and season and butter things, and before long everything was heaped on the patio table and we were all fixing plates. I sat by the pool, kicking my flats off and dangling my feet in the cool water, and the guys followed my example and seated themselves around the edge. Jin explained to everyone that they could speak Korean around me and I'd still understand, and soon we all lapsed into comfortable company, enjoying the food and how the temperature had mercifully dropped a few degrees. When everyone had finished their plates I made my way to the kitchen and brought everyone bowls of pudding. I had to coax Yoongi into at least trying it, because apparently he wasn't a huge fan of sweet stuff. The cotton candy hair was a lie. Once he finally tasted a bite, his eyes lit up and he cleaned the bowl in record time, making everyone laugh and tease. After the sun had set and the dishes were packed into the washer, Jin brought out and passed around shots of soju, making sure to state beforehand that he only got enough for everyone to have a couple, since they had work the next day. I took one eagerly; it was something else I had missed since Hye-ji had went home. Everyone toasted to me and Jin for the meal, and I made sure to include Yoongi since he'd done half my work for me. I'd started feeling a pleasantly warm buzz by the time someone started playing music. I layed back and closed my eyes, loving the cool night air and the feel of the water around my ankles, until someone started singing. I turned my head to see who had such a beautiful voice, my eyes settling on Jimin. He was sitting a few feet away, leaning back on his elbows, face turned to the sky and eyes closed, the perfect picture of peace. "Eonje buteonga jeom jeom, yeonlakage dwae naega meonjeo." I smiled, and then Jungkook joined in, his voice just as sweet, just as flawless. "Niga eopneun goseseon beolsseo, neol baby-ro bulleo nado cham ugyeo." The melody stirred my memory and I smiled. It was a song I knew, one that Hye-ji had sung for me more than once. Tae and I joined in at the same time, his voice much stronger and deeper than I would have ever expected. "You're my chocolate, my sweetest chocolate, and I really wanna have you..." The singing stopped and everyone stared at me, making me blush for the millionth time. "Sorry. Didn't mean to intrude on your moment. My Hye-ji... my best friend... Taeyang was her favorite. She used to sing it to me when I was... down." "Don't be sorry," Tae said, at the same moment that Jimin uttered "You're beautiful." My blood heated as everyone turned to stare at him. He flushed and backtracked. "Your voice. You have a beautiful voice. Mianhae." I nodded. "Thanks. Nothing compared ro you guys though. You should seriously look into music as a career." Hoseok choked on his soju, and the heavy moment was gone as Yoongi beat him on the back. Jimin looked confused and turned to Jungkook, but Jungkook just shook his head at him and tossed back the rest of his shot. I glanced at my phone, finding it to be 11:30 already, and sighed, clambering to my feet and brushing my clothes off. "It's about my bedtime, and you guys said you have work tomorrow, so I should probably head home." I smiled at all of them. "Thanks for dinner, it was amazing... We should do it again sometime." The way every one of their faces lit up was enough to stop me from kicking myself for letting that last comment slip out. Everyone scrambled to their feet to head inside, and Hoseok was the first to offer to walk me home. I declined, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. I said goodnight to the others at the door and we made our way across the lawn in companionable silence. He waited for me to unlock the door and step inside before waving his hand and stepping off the porch. Right before I shut the door he turned on his heel and said my name. I looked at him. "I don't think Jimin just meant your voice." Confused, I waited for him to continue. "You're a good person. You have a beautiful heart. I think we can all see that already." He paused. "I think after tonight we're all glad that you moved here, even if we don't know you too well yet." I smiled softly and nodded, blinking back the wetness gathering in my eyes. "Thank you," I managed. "I'm glad too." He smiled his ridiculously bright smile and waved the hand that wasn't in his pocket, then turned and jogged back across our yards. I closed and locked the door before kicking off my shoes, shaking my hair down, and making my way to my bed. Collapsing back onto my sheets, I let snipets of the day replay through my head. Tae's face when I said I'd be there, he and Jungkook rushing to take my bags. Yoongi's hands steadying me before I could lose my balance, preparing food with Jin. The embaressing conversation with Namjoon, and his careful touch when I hurt myself. I breathed deep. Jin's hands holding mine so gently, taking care of me. Yoongi refusing to let me near the grill and taking over for me. The boys' chilling voices. Jimin calling me beautiful and stumbling over his words. The way everyone beamed when I suggested hanging out together again. Hoseok walking me home, making sure I got inside safe, and the words he spoke. A smile crept to my lips. Maybe these boys weren't nearly the nuisance I'd originally thought they would be. For the first time since Hye Ji left, I felt at home.

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