#also i'm not an expert so let me live please

[ineffable-romantics]

Some thoughts on why and how I believe Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship would incorporate sex/why I do not read them as wholly asexual:

This is something I've seen the most discourse about in this fandom, and I've had a few thoughts of my own that I really wanted to expand upon in a full meta/character analysis post. I do understand that this can be a contentious topic, so first, let me clarify a few things:

First of all, this is going to be long. Tbh it probably won't be that organized either. I ramble and I'm not very good at editing, so just... you know. Be warned. (*Hi, it's me from 2 days after writing this; I'm really not kidding, it's LONG)

These are all my own thoughts. They might not be hot takes, because recently I've seen more than a few people come to the same conclusions on a lot of these points as I have. But I've also had these notes in my drafts for about a week and a half now, and have been continuously adding to it as things have occurred to me. This post is essentially just somewhere for me to collect the separate but related meta I've been kicking around in my head.

I fully respect anyone who does see and prefer an asexual reading of this relationship. These are my own thoughts and interpretations as someone who is not asexual. I am in the LGBT+ community, so while I do know a few things about the asexuality spectrum, I am by no means an expert.

This is NOT something I expect, need, or even necessarily want the show (or, God forbid, Neil's tumblr ask box) to address. Tonally, it's just not that kind of show. Newt and Anathema's sex scene was very much played for laughs, and it worked for that reason. If the show found a way to address it in a way that was both appropriate for the tone of the show and ultimately satisfying, then great! But there is so much more to this relationship than sex, and I didn't need a kiss to confirm their love, so I certainly don't need a sex scene. As immortal beings (as I assume they'll stay) there is so much of the rest of their lives we'll never get to see. You can headcanon them as asexual and potentially be right. I can headcanon them as not and be equally potentially right. Again, these are just a collection of my own thoughts, because I think the question of sexuality (or lack thereof) is just as interesting a facet of these characters as any other.

Note: Tbh I've been second-guessing this whole post and debated deleting the whole thing several times for being silly or unnecessary, bc I don't want anyone to think that this is the only thing I care about when it comes to this story/characters. But if nothing else, it's inspired me to write in a way that nothing has in a very long time, so I've decided it's worth continuing, if for no other reason than that.

This is going to be a mixed bag of textual reading, subtextual reading, and a full-on reach or two. It's been a while since I've been in an English class, but if my teachers expected me to find a deeper meaning behind blue curtains, you can expect me to read too deeply into the symbolism of a loaded rifle or an ox rib. (This is probably not what my professors had in mind when grading my literary analysis papers but oh well) My point is, if it feels like a reach, I'm as aware of it as you are. I am in no way saying that all (or even any) of my points made were deliberate on the part of Neil or the actors or the writers or the directors. I am no longer the delulu Apple Tree Yard child of my youth, I promise.

If anything said here is in any way offensive or hurtful to anyone in the asexual community, please do not hesitate to message me or comment and let me know exactly what it was. I promise you it is not my intention to do so, and am happy to clarify or outright edit anything that reads that way.

With all that being said, let's talk about why I think Crowley and Aziraphale would absolutely fuck nasty incorporate sex into their relationship.

Note: I am out of practice with essay writing, so I think I'll just go down the bullet points of notes I have been making, and expand on each as best I can

Food

Where better to start than with Aziraphale's introduction to Pleasures Of The Flesh? (Just a heads up, this entire post may feel very Aziraphale-heavy, and with good reason).

This might be the least hot take here. We've all seen the Job minisode. We've all seen That Scene.

Whether this was intentional or not, the symbolism here is off the charts. Eve was tempted by an apple. So why not go a similar route and tempt Aziraphale with another fruit, or cheese, or bread, or literally anything else for his first experience with food? Instead, we go with a huge, glistening slab of fresh meat that he proceeds to absolutely go feral upon, moaning and gasping into his meal while Crowley watches with what definitely doesn't look to be disgust or even satisfaction with a good temptation. There's surprise at the ferocity of Aziraphale's appetite, certainly. But ultimately he looks to be intensely fascinated by it, while the thunder crashes, the music crescendos, and the earth literally shakes around them.

(It's also interesting to note how very little it takes for Crowley to tempt him with the ox rib. One murmured suggestion, a bit of unwavering eye contact, and vavoom Aziraphale immediately meets him in the middle.)

Cut to Aziraphale devouring the rest of the meat with Crowley splayed back on a makeshift bed, drinking wine and continuing to watch him indulge through half-lidded eyes. Outside a thunderstorm rages while they're learning secrets about each other in warm flickering firelight. It's cosy, it's intimate, and if they'd thrown in a bearskin throw blanket, it might as well be a post-coital scene straight out of Game of Thrones.

The next time (chronologically) we see them discuss food is when Aziraphale "tempts" Crowley with oysters in Rome. So Crowley first tempts Aziraphale with meat and then Aziraphale tempts Crowley with what is widely regarded to be an aphrodisiac. Interesting.

And then chronologically after that, the Arrangement begins to form, which has always reeked of a friends with benefits situation. Just to throw that in there.

It's What Humans Do

In the very first episode, we're shown Gabriel's obvious disgust and bewilderment towards Aziraphale eating sushi, calling it "gross matter" and being proud of the fact that he does not sully his body with it. Aziraphale initially tries to defend his own enjoyment in it, before passing it off as something that humans do, as something he simply has to do in order to blend in (which we know very well is not the case).

He does this again in season 2, passing off Nina and Maggie being in love as "something humans do". But it isn't, is it? Angels are beings of love, and can sense it, and understand very well what it is... up to a point. Even romantic love is obviously within their wheelhouse, given what we now know happened between Gabriel and Beelzebub (we'll come back to them).

What the "humans do" that angels wouldn't understand is messy, physical forms of love.

But here's the thing: Aziraphale and Crowley love doing what the humans do. They love drinking, they (or at least Aziraphale) love eating. They love music. Crowley loves driving and sleeping and watching rom-coms and sitcoms. Aziraphale loves reading and doing magic and earning little licenses and certificates for achievement in his various hobbies. They love to playact at being human so much that they've stopped playacting and started building a genuinely human lifestyle for themselves and with each other.

Once together in an unambiguously romantic sense, why do we think they wouldn't also want to explore one of the most prominent, intimate, powerful human expressions of love and desire with each other?

Angels, Demons, & Asexuality

Here's where I really want to clarify that in no way do I mean that sex is necessary for a healthy, fulfilling, and loving romantic relationship, or that the lack of desire for sex makes you any less human. Asexuality is a sexuality as valid and human as any. What I would say is that it is definitely in the human minority compared to allosexuality.

Angels and demons, on the other hand, are predominately asexual. Sexless/genderless unless Making An Effort. (Which, btw, is a concept introduced as early as the original book; why even bring it up as a possibility? Why not keep angels/demons being sexless/asexual as a hard and fast rule, if not to open up the potential for later use? Chekhov's Effort, if you will. And isn't that something that Aziraphale in particular is shown to do time and time again? He makes an effort in French and driving and magic, doesn't he?)

And this is why I don't believe Aziraphale and Crowley necessarily need to be asexual, narratively. There is already a huge amount of ace rep within the angels and demons (and no, not just the horrible ones. Muriel also doesn't "drink the tea" and has no reason or desire thus far to Make An Effort, and there are certainly other angels and demons who aren't horrible like the archangels seem to be who likely wouldn't Make An Effort either).

The central conflict for Aziraphale and Crowley is that they are on their own side, the ones who went native, the ones who are so different in so many ways from their respective hives. It would make sense for them to also break away from traditional angel/demon asexuality.

I say "traditional angel/demon asexuality", because I would also like to note that I would absolutely not rule out demisexuality for either of them. This post is being written to as a response to people who specifically believe that they (like the rest of the angels/demons seem to be) would be sex-averse in a relationship, and that it wouldn't be a factor in their relationship. I could easily read them as demisexual, but I do think there would be no real way of verifying this, because they've never been able to form as close an emotional relationship with anyone else but each other. Certainly not in heaven, and I can't imagine they would be able to form that kind of attachment with any of the humans, who they love and emulate but ultimately regard as the separate species they are. So yes, they could either be allosexual or demisexual, in my opinion.

Then again, now that I think about it, Making An Effort itself could be a great metaphor for demisexuality, since they would be entirely sexless/asexual until they have enough of an emotional connection with someone to consciously manifest otherwise. Since the other angels and demons don't generally form those types of emotional connections with anyone, there hasn't been a precedent for it.

Except...

Brielzebub

We do have a precedent for it now, don't we? Gabriel and Beelzebub fell in love. They are a direct foil for Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship, speedrunning right through their courtship and finding their happily ever after on the other side of things.

For being such a 1 to 1 comparison, it feels deliberate that they did not kiss. They held hands, they were gooey with each other, but they did not kiss. That feels like such a deliberate thing to omit when you know what's to come at the end of the episode between Crowley and Aziraphale.

And going back to the food = sex metaphor for a moment, let's notice how even as they fell in love over the years, even when pints and crisps were there on the table in front of them, they never felt the desire to reach out for them. They didn't need to. It's a date (love story) even if you aren't eating dinner (sleeping together).

Yes, I know Jim liked hot chocolate. No, I am not counting it because I don't consider Jim and Gabriel to be the same person with the same proclivities, and Jim was highly suggestible at the time anyway.

Gabriel and Brielzebub's big happily ever after moment (as of now) was one between two asexual supernatural beings. They did not need to kiss to drive the point home. They showed what Crowley and Aziraphale could have, if they would only acknowledge it.

Crowley & Aziraphale's Dissatisfaction

But they do have that already, don't they? If you really think about it, what do Gabriel and Beelzebub do with each other that Crowley and Aziraphale don't already? They hold hands, they spend time together, they create little rituals, they give gifts, they're visibly and verbally affectionate with each other, etc. They are more or less already in a romantic asexual marriage relationship with each other, aren't they?

And it doesn't seem to be enough for either of them.

At the beginning of the season, Crowley is immediately shown to be unsatisfied with the way things are. Obviously part of it comes from living in his car, but it seems to be more than that (especially since Aziraphale makes it clear that the bookshop is just as much Crowley's as his, implying that he could have been living there the whole time and is choosing not to, for some reason?). You could argue he's feeling unmoored without Hell telling him what to do, but isn't that what he wanted? Isn't that what he still wants, by the end of the season? All season long, he's never indicated the desire for a new job, or a new project. He stopped the apocalypse because he wanted the freedom to openly spend time with Aziraphale, to spend his time on Earth however he sees fit. Until Gabriel arrives, he has exactly that (minus a flat).

So where does the dissatisfaction come from? And if it represents anything to do with his relationship, what does he want out of it that he isn't getting already?

I think Crowley only really comes to the realisation of what he's missing when Nina names it for him, not only putting them in the category of romantic, but physical (outright asking if they are sleeping together). These two posts [1], [2] go into more detail about what I mean, but I think it really pushes him into acknowledging that their relationship is more human than either of them have stopped to consider, and what that might mean as far as everything a human relationship can entail.

After all, Nina and Maggie only advised that he should talk to Aziraphale, make clear his feelings. The decision to kiss him, to tip them over the edge from nonphysical to physical, that was all him. And no, kissing isn't sex, but I wonder how taboo even that might be in the kind of all-encompassing asexuality most angels seem to identify with. (If they're disgusted by food and drink, I can only imagine what they think of snogging, much less sex.)

Aziraphale doesn't have this moment of someone observing their relationship from the outside. He loves Crowley, and as of 1941 probably even knows he's in love with him in a way that Crowley doesn't understand yet. Which makes sense, since love is technically his job, he'd be more likely to recognise it for what it is.

However, Aziraphale's reference for romance and relationships is Jane Austen. It's chaste. It's dancing and dinner and doing sweet things for each other and roses and candles and handholding. He contextualises his love for Crowley in that soft fantasy sort of way, where it's there, it's obviously there, but it's neat and easy and unspoken. Not to quote Glee in this, the year of our lord 2023, but it's all very "the touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets".

Someone should tell that to Aziraphale's face, then.

I'm not going to pretend I know what Michael Sheen's script notes were, but there were definitely some Choices™ made. Because yes, there were plenty of moments in both seasons with Aziraphale looking at Crowley in a sweet, loving, smitten way. And then there were moments that were yearning.

But yearning for what, exactly? All of those sappy Jane Austen tropes already apply to the two of them. So why are there moments where Aziraphale is looking Crowley up and down like the last eclair in the window and licking his lips and visibly exhaling like he's trying to get in control of himself (see: Bastille scene + Crowley telling Muriel to ask him if they have any other questions about love)? Why is Aziraphale not only unconcerned when Crowley shoves him bodily up against a wall in s1, but staring at his lips and a beat too late in noticing Sister Mary's arrival? Why are some of his lines so suggestive? I'm sorry, but the car ride after the church explosion might as well have been the beginning of a Pizza Man porn with a really weird Blitz theme. If even my mother picked up on that vibe, I can't imagine it wasn't intentional on part of both the dialogue and the delivery.

(This section may feel like more of a reach/joke, but I'm really only 20% joking. These are writers and actors who are EXTREMELY good at their jobs; they know what they were doing here.)

More importantly, I don't think Aziraphale is even aware that there is more to what he wants. He lives in the Jane Austen fantasy and it never even occurs to him that he might be interested in anything further. It never even occurs to him that, as an angel, there is anything further to be interested in in the first place. Until Crowley forces it to occur to him. Just like I believe Nina forced Crowley to confront the idea that romantic love is what he's been feeling all along, I believe Crowley forced Aziraphale to confront the idea that physical intimacy is something he's been wanting, without even realising.

Aziraphale's Hedonism

Expanding on Aziraphale for a moment. We talked about his relationship with food, but we all know that Aziraphale is defined by his love of things that Feel Good.

It isn't just that he and Crowley love human things. Aziraphale loves the best of the best, or at least his version of it. He doesn't just love food, he loves going to fancy restaurants. He doesn't just love clothes, he loves soft, cosy, warm, plush clothes, or shiny, flashy, bougie fashion. He loves the warmth of tea and cocoa, loves getting drunk, and sitting in a comfy chair in the sunlight. He doesn't just experience, he indulges.

Given the emphasis put on things that Aziraphale loves just because they Feel Good, it feels narratively strange to assume that he wouldn't enjoy the feeling of being touched, or that he wouldn't be willing to try it, at least once, with someone he cared very deeply for. And just like the ox rib, I think that once he gets the first taste of things, he would absolutely tip over into complete and utter self-indulgence.

Dancing

I also think that dancing could be construed as a huge metaphor here. After all, we're told flat-out that angels don't Dance. Except one.

I would argue that Aziraphale, in fact, Made An Effort to learn how to Dance. He threw himself into the gavotte with delight (at a Victorian gay club; noted) and worked hard to be good at it. He's chomping at the bit to Dance with Crowley, working up the nerve to ask him with undeniably romantic intent and eagerness. So, angels don't Dance... unless they Make An Effort to do so.

We are told that demons, on the other hand, do Dance, but not well. Makes sense, since they're the ones who would want to encourage a deadly sin like lust, but have as little understanding of human love and physical intimacy as the angels. Crowley, however, is shown to be an excellent dancer at the ball, especially in his compatibility with Aziraphale.

(But Aziraphale WandaVisioned the ball so everyone knew how to dance! Yes, he did. However, the rest of the brainwashing doesn't seem to affect Crowley in any way, and they did actually live through the time period where this sort of dancing was a social norm; I'd be surprised if he never needed to learn. After all, the demons can't spell either, and Crowley is at least functionally literate, as far as we know.)

As of today, it's also been confirmed that when Aziraphale asked Crowley to dance, Crowley replied with "you don't dance." Not "WE don't dance". So going along with the metaphor, Crowley is just now discovering that Dancing is something Aziraphale is interested in at all, much less with him, and not denying that he himself is interested in Dancing. In his defense, I believe he was asleep for a few years while Aziraphale was learning the gavotte, so he wasn't exactly aware of Aziraphale's hot girl summer.

Love Languages

I want to expand on that; Crowley and Aziraphale's compatibility. Specifically in regards to their individual love languages.

We all know Crowley's love language is Acts of Service. I don't think there's any debate there. He loves it, Aziraphale loves it, they're both aware of it, we're all aware of it, God and Satan are aware of it, no surprise there.

You may disagree with me, but I believe Aziraphale's love language is Physical Touch, for a number of reasons. One of which being his aforementioned hedonism. Aziraphale likes things that Feel Good, remember? He likes soft clothes, and well-worn books. Neil himself has said that they like holding hands. And any time he is taken by surprise (Brielzebub getting together, the wave of love in Tadfield, etc.) what is the first thing he does? Reaches out for Crowley. He stops him with a hand to the chest in the pub. He leads him by the hand to the dance floor. He guides him by the waist in the graveyard. He reaches out during the entire Brielzebub scene, whether he can reach Crowley or not. Despite his own turmoil, he grasps at Crowley's back during the kiss.

The one time Crowley reaches out for him (not counting the kiss yet; we'll get there), he is aggressively pushed against a wall (by someone he loves and trusts) with a complete and utter lack of concern (and perhaps some interest, depending on how you read it).

And when he isn't reaching out for anyone, or there isn't anyone to reach out to? Well, he's wringing his own hands together, squeezing his own fingers, as if to find that physical comfort in himself.

So. With that theory in mind, we have Aziraphale (Physical Touch) + Crowley (Acts of Service). Throw in 6000+ years of deep love, cherished companionship, and forcibly repressed longing, and there is a very real potential of this combination resulting in fierce sexual compatibility. Where Aziraphale would want to touch and be touched, to indulge in physical pleasure with someone he adores, in the same the way he indulges in every other fine thing in his life. And where Crowley would want to indulge him in return, to give him everything he wants, and to take pleasure in Aziraphale's pleasure, in the same way he enjoys watching him take joy in food everything else.

So Aziraphale is an angel who is insecure about his own less-than-holy desires, who would want to treat Crowley like a luxury to be touched and cherished and adored. And Crowley is a demon who has, over the millennia, been unhappy about how they've been forced to deny even their friendship with each other, who would want Aziraphale to feel comfortable and safe and encouraged to indulge in earthly delights. That sounds like a stunning recipe for sexual compatibility to me.

"You said 'trust me'" / "And you did"

Just like the Job minisode, the Blitz is RIFE with symbolism (intentional or otherwise). This one will be quick, but I did want to touch on it because I thought it was interesting. Maybe I'm reaching at this point, but I'm assuming you read the tin.

First of all, Crowley not wanting to admit to never firing a gun before; comes off as someone who very much does not want to admit to their crush that they're a virgin ("You must have done this lots of times!" / "Umm.... yyyyyeah.")

(You could make the argument that Aziraphale having a firearms license and a Derringer in a hollowed-out book is symbolic of him not being a virgin while Crowley is. I disagree, for reasons I'll go into later, but it's a valid reading. However, I see it more like keeping a condom in your wallet; it's there in case you need it, but the opportunity has not yet risen no pun intended.)

More importantly, the theme of this entire minisode is trust. We already know they trust each other with their lives against the rest of Heaven, Hell, and the world. But specifically, this is about the importance of having complete trust in your partner in a charged, physically vulnerable, intimate moment, where the only danger is between the two of you.

Aziraphale needs to believe Crowley would never hurt him if he can help it. Crowley needs to trust Aziraphale's unwavering blind faith in him. Frankly, it all feels very symbolic of two people deeply in love losing their respective virginities with each other.

The trick is a success, and they share an intimate candlelit dinner in which they reaffirm their faith in each other. Aziraphale also begins to voice his agreement with Crowley, that maybe Heaven's rules shouldn't have to be as black and white as they are, and that there are benefits to... blurring the lines, shades of grey, wink wink (at which point even my mom was like, whoa guys, this is a family show).

Btw also: Can we all agree how much it looked like Crowley was getting ready to get a lapdance in that one scene? You know the one.

Also also: "Aim for my mouth"? Come on.

The Birds & The Bees

Now that I think of it, there's also something to be said for the fact that Crowley and Aziraphale are both obviously familiar with where babies come from (how they're made and how they're born) while the other angels aren't.

Something something Aziraphale and Crowley fundamentally understand sex and reproduction in a way the other angels (and probably demons) very much do not, nor have any desire to.

Probably not important. Just thought it was worth mentioning.

The Kiss™ & Religious Trauma

The Kiss. Where to even begin?

This has definitely been the hardest one to start, because there is so much going on here that I definitely won't be able to cover it all, and will certainly miss a few things here and there.

Aziraphale's reaction to the kiss afterwards is the most interesting to me. And I don't mean directly after, I don't mean the "I forgive you" part. I mean the way he touches his lips when Crowley is no longer in the room and he no longer needs to save face, when he is completely alone. Had it been directly after the kiss, it would have been rightfully read as horror, or disgust, a shield to discourage further action.

It's not. It isn't just a touch, it's a press. As desperate and angry and unexpected and imperfect as the kiss had been, Aziraphale is pressing it into himself, recreating the feeling as best he can. Beneath all the poor timing and shock and hurt from their fight and fallout, I think it's fair to say that it was something he enjoyed. Something he doesn't think he should enjoy, something that Feels Good that he only allows himself to indulge in when completely alone.

Remember, Aziraphale's idea of love is Jane Austen and gentleness and courtship and fantasy. If he'd ever even considered kissing an option, it might have been gentle pecks, cheek kisses, forehead kiss, hand kisses. Soft, safe, chaste affection.

Crowley's kiss turns all of that on its head. He introduces physical intimacy in a very real, very messy, very human way that I don't think Aziraphale ever even considered could apply to them. Considering what other angels are like and what they look down on, even Aziraphale's Jane Austen fantasies probably would have been considered taboo.

So for their first kiss to be rough and desperate and passionate in the way it was, of course he was confused and in shock. It was deeply physical, and as overwhelming and awful as it was in the moment, it Felt Good. Enough that he grasped at Crowley and kissed back, if only just for a moment, before stopping himself. Enough that he actively pressed it into his lips afterwards, in private, to remember.

I adore how Neil has decided to evolve these characters past the first book/season. More so in this season, Aziraphale and Crowley have both become such interesting allegories for queer people on either side of the spectrum of toxic religion. Aziraphale in particular obviously, because he is the side that so desperately wants to believe, to make a difference, and to unlearn all of the propaganda he's been fed over such a long time. Just like so much of organised religion, there is so much that he is told, time and time again, that he should not want, that he is silly or stupid or outright wrong for wanting. It reminds me so much of the severe Catholic guilt one might feel for wanting/engaging in sex for the first time, and the stigma of being queer layered on top of that.

What is so critical to Aziraphale's character is that he goes on wanting, and more than that, actively pursues. He was convinced to go up against Heaven and Hell and stop all of Armageddon because he wanted to go on listening to music and eating lunch and reading books and enjoying the simple company of the person he cares most deeply for, even if that person is supposed to be the enemy.

All this to say that if angels are as generally asexual/sex-averse as I believe them to be, narratively speaking, it would make sense for Aziraphale to be singular in that regard as well. Mirroring his first experience with food, it would make sense for Crowley to be the one to first introduce this new messy, physical, human dynamic between them, for Aziraphale to hesitate (obviously we are at the Hesitation phase at the moment), and then (eventually) for him to dive in wholeheartedly, to absolutely glut himself on this new thing that Feels Good. It would make sense for his character development to show him overcoming his metaphorical Catholic guilt and pursuing the sexual intimacy most (if not all) of the other angels would scorn.

(I can't help but remember that plot idea Neil described from the unwritten sequel, with Aziraphale in a hotel room trying to watch a full porno by way of the free 2-minute teaser clips so he wasn't technically sinning by paying for it. I so hope this is used in season 3, because gosh, I wonder why Aziraphale would suddenly be so interested in observing human physical intimacy after 6,000 years. Lonely and doing a little surreptitious research there, angel?)

Crowley, on the other hand, is the queer person who has broken free from his toxic religion. He prides himself on being his own person, on their his own side. He doesn't have the hang-ups Aziraphale does. He doesn't worry that he's going to be judged or cast aside for wanting things he's not supposed to. So it only makes sense for him to be the first one to suggest/initiate physical intimacy. It makes sense for him to be the one who "goes too fast" (another fantastic example of this dynamic beginning as early as s1; what is that conversation in the car meant to represent, if not Aziraphale being overwhelmed by the intensity of their relationship, and his fear of succumbing to it when he believes he shouldn't? It's also interesting that this is the first conversation to take place in Soho, just after watching Aziraphale realise he's caught feelings for a demon, with the red glow of lust serving as the backdrop).

Do I think the kiss in and of itself was sexual? No. I think it was a passionate and devastating last-ditch effort on Crowley's part to convey the way he feels for Aziraphale. Not just that he loves him, but that he loves him in the most human way possible. But I do think that the kiss represents how they can move forward from here, and what they might want to explore with each other once they feel free enough to do so.

In Conclusion

I am sure, deep in my bones (unless we are explicitly told otherwise), that this was both of their first kisses no, I'm not counting the gavotte, and that neither of them have ever thought to do anything else physical with the humans while they have been on Earth. Like I said before, they adore the human race and lifestyle in general, but ultimately view them as a separate species altogether, and they seem mostly happy to keep to themselves and each other, unless otherwise necessary. I just can't see either of them being drawn enough to a human to pursue anything close to sex. If Crowley in particular has had anything to do with sex in the context of temptations, I'm positive he would be inciting lust amongst the humans themselves, not involving himself directly. At least not that directly.

So, like every other human experience they've had on Earth, sex is something new that they could explore together, just the two of them, on their own side. A deeply intimate, tangible declaration of their love and everything they've gone through to earn it. A visceral finger to give both Heaven and Hell. A renewed appreciation for their corporations and for each other's. A enjoyable method for immortal beings to simply pass the time in each other's company. A new and exciting way to Feel Good, and all the variations that come with it.

You might agree with this post, or you might not. Whether this is something that is ever addressed or not, it doesn't matter to me. This is a brilliant love story either way, and I genuinely feel so privileged to witness it.

But I just can't find it in myself to imagine, given everything we know about these two characters, that sex isn't an experience they would both consume with wholehearted enthusiasm, curiosity, and profound, ineffable adoration.

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Bonus feature: the very silly notes I made to myself that inspired this post

#pinned post bc I'm particularly proud of how it turned out and i don't want it to get buried when people check out my blog lol #Good omens #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 #good omens season 2 spoilers #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #gos #gos spoilers #gos2 #gos2 spoilers #gomens #gomens spoilers #gomens 2 #gomens 2 spoilers #good omens s2 spoilers #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowley #mine #meta #character analysis #character study #discourse #making an effort #this literally took me a week to finish i really hope it doesn't sound stupid lol #i know I'm gonna wake up in a cold sweat every couple days bc i forgot to add something but i needed this out of my drafts and also my brain

[thetriumphantpanda]

Baby Love | Joel Miller

A Trial & Error One Shot

Summary | It's coming to the end of lambing season, but there's one sheep left to give birth. Noticing she's struggling, you spend the night trying to soothe her, reflecting on your own experiences in her position.

Pairing | Joel Miller x F!Reader

Word Count | 2.7k

Warnings | Joel & Pretty Girl are still as horny as ever for each other so this is explicit. Mentions of ranching, sheep and animals giving birth. Mentions of human childbirth and pregnancy (I have never had my own children so please go easy on me), also mentions of how dirty it is when a sheep gives birth (blood/guts ect). Explicit smut including oral sex (f receiving), unprotected PiV smut IN THE BARN, creampie, Joel being a menace, PRETTY GIRL ALSO BEING A MENACE. No use of Y/N, no-outbreak AU.

Authors Note | It has been such a joy to write Pretty Girl again, I've missed her something terrible, and I'm so happy that the dynamic between her and Joel is still going strong, even if I have abandoned them for a while. I really hope you enjoy this as much as I have enjoyed writing it, and if there are any aspects of this families lives that you'd like to see, feel free to request it in my ask box!

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Ko-Fi

Lambing season is coming to an end - something you’re eternally grateful for. It’s been a busy few weeks - early mornings and late nights for both Joel and Tommy, leaving you with the twins, Joshua and Ellie to keep entertained. Not that you’d have it any other way - your dysfunctional little family makes you happy every day.

With Joshua at school and the twins with Joel as he took Ellie into town for an appointment, you’re out in the fields with Tommy, making sure the remaining sheep yet to give birth are doing alright. You don’t profess to being an expert, but you’d like to think that your motherly instincts can go beyond humans, knowing when certain sheep are due and when some of them are starting to struggle.

It’s been an easy lambing season this year - most of the girls are seasoned professionals by now, needing only a light touch and a refill of their water more than anything, but there’s one sheep you are worried about. She was from lambing season a few years ago and this will be her first time. When you head into the barn, she’s stood in the corner of one of the pens, moving very little but bleating every once in a while. You know it’ll happen soon, but you’re worried about her.

“Don’t worry your head, sugar,” Tommy soothes, running a hand down the back of your head when it’s time to leave, “It’s nature, she’ll know what to do.”

But, led in bed that night, there’s something that you can’t push from the back of your mind. This worry that takes over you. She’ll be on her own in there, being one of the very last to give birth, and what if she’s scared? What if something goes wrong? You remember how scared you’d been when it came to having Joshua.

So you sigh, push back the sheets, and get dressed. You leave Tommy a note in case he wakes in the night and worries about where you are. You can’t say the horses in the small stable next to the house are enthused about having a torched shined at them in the middle of the night, but thankfully yours doesn’t put up much fuss when you saddle it and make the journey through the dark fields to the barn.

Flicking on the lights, you’re immediately glad you came. The sheep in question is led on her side, breathing laboured and fast. As you walk towards her, she kicks her legs a little and lets out a pained bleat.

“I know baby,” You coo, making sure the gate is shut behind you, “Hurts, doesn’t it?”

You fall to your knees in the soft hay a little way from her, hoping not to spook her, but she doesn’t seem all that bothered by your presence. She’s led down near the wall, so you crawl over a little and lean your back against it, stretching your legs out, just to be near her if she needs you.

The sheep lets out another pained bleat but she moves a little, up from her side and onto her feet. She walks closer to you, leaning down to prod your hand with her nose. You let out a little chuckle, letting your hand run down her head. The ranch dog likes when you scratch behind his ears, so you do the same here, which has her settling back down onto her side with her head on your thigh.

“It’s one of the most wonderful things,” You speak to her softly, continuing to pet at her head, “Having babies, but they always forget to mention how much it fucking hurts.”

She lets out another soft bleat, moving her body a little to get comfortable, or as comfortable as is possible when you’re in labour.

Watching her, you can’t help but let your mind wander back to your experience in her position. The first twinges of pain, low in your back that turned into pain everywhere. There wasn't a single position that was comfortable, no way to sit or lie or stand that could take the pain away. Then there was the exhaustion - after hours of waiting and more time pushing and pushing, there were moments when you didn’t think you could do it anymore, that you’d just close your eyes, drift off and wake up with a lovely, healthy baby perched in your arms.

But then, there’s that moment of relief, when the midwife had told you it’s okay honey, one more push and it’ll be done and it was and you could hear him crying and then he was on your chest and you were crying and so was Tommy. No-one ever mentions that bit either - how within seconds you could look down at a baby, your baby, and be completely and utterly in love with him. That’s what made it all worth it. That’s what made you want to do it again. It’s what makes you think you’d do it for the rest of your life if you could, just to have that one moment where that baby is in your arms for the first time.

“It’s worth it though,” You speak down to the sheep, “All this pain will be worth it in the end when we’ve got your beautiful little lamb with us.”

And it is. It’s all a bit dramatic in the end. The lamb gets stuck and you need to offer a helping hand to get it out, but almost immediately the mother sheep is doing exactly what she should, cleaning it off as you do the thing you’ve seen Joel do to help clear it’s airways, sticking a little bit of hay up one of it’s nostrils.

“Look mama,” You coo at the older sheep, a hand on her head as she works to get her little lamb clean, “Look what you did, you clever girl.”

Joel doesn’t know what he was expecting when he walked into the barn that morning, but it certainly wasn’t to see you on your knees in the hay, rubbing a newborn lamb with straw. He can see from this angle that your clothes are filthy, covered in blood and God knows what else. Did you…? Have you….?

“Pretty girl,” He speaks softly, not sure you know he’s there, “What are you doing?”

You turn to him and it’s clear to see you’ve done exactly what he thinks you have and helped this sheep give birth, the gunk all over your clothes is also wiped across your cheek and forehead.

“She-” You trail off, “The sheep, she was struggling and I didn’t want her to be on her own.”

He opens the gate to the pen, walking in to fall beside you on his knees, “Have you been here all night?” He asks, letting his hands give the small lamb the once over.

“Pretty much,” You nod, “We had a lovely talk, didn’t we?” You ask to the mother sheep who is standing a few steps away, carefully observing Joel as he looks at her lamb.

“Did she do okay?”

“I had to get in there at the end,” You explain to him, “I think it was stuck, so I just gave her a little helping hand.”

Once he’s satisfied that the lamb is okay he shuffles back a little, watching as you do the same, letting the mother sheep have some time with her baby, “You did a good job,” He praises, letting his hand run down the back of you head, “Proud of you, pretty girl.”

He helps you to you feet, bends a little to brush as much stray hay from your jeans as he can before he steps back and really takes you in. It’s unconventional, but there’s something about the fact that you’ve got your hands dirty, spent your night here on your own to help one of his sheep, and the fact that you’re covered in dirt and hay, something about it all makes his jeans go a little tighter, something that he’s not quick enough to hide.

“Are you hard, cowboy?” He hears you tease before you’re stepping forward, “Does the sight of me covered in blood and guts turn you on?”

He rolls his eyes and turns his back on you, leaving the pen now he’s satisfied the sheep will be okay, but he can hear your feet following him and then your hand on his arm to get him to stop.

“You’ve not gone all shy on me, have you?” You speak softly, gently moving him so he turns a little.

“Have I ever been shy, pretty girl?”

“Then tell me,” You shrug, smirk plastered across your face, “Does this,” He watches as you drag a hand over the mess that is your clothes, “Turn you on?”

“You wanna know the truth?” He asks, voice low, “I wanna bend you over and get you to shut the hell up.”

Joel can’t help but let his own smirk show when your eyebrows raise, but it’s a fleeting later in your guise, because you’re turning around, showing him your back as you walk towards the stacked bales of hay in the corner. He can hear the clinking of your belt buckle and the telltale sound of you unzipping your jeans.

He’s stuck to the ground as he watches you pull down your jeans and your underwear, baring your backside to him. You pull them all the way down, letting them pool at your ankles as you spread your legs a little wider, bending yourself over the hay in the exact position he had in his head.

“Come on then cowboy,” You say, head turned over your shoulder to speak to him, “Come and shut me the hell up.”

It’s been an automatic response of his for years now, that when you present yourself to him, in any way, he falls to his knees like someone praying to an altar, and today is no different. He’s on his knees behind you, at just the right height to grip his palms to your ass, spread you open wide for him.

He wastes no time, he rarely does anymore, letting his mouth close over the hole of your pussy, somehow already weeping for him. He lets his tongue dip inside, lapping at your slick. It’s been years and he still doesn’t think he’ll get over how good you taste, how it lingers on his tongue for hours whilst he goes about his day.

Whilst he’s lapping up your slick, he lets one of his hands reach around, thumb searching out your clit, little circles rubbed across the little bud. He listens, feeling his cock throb in his jeans when you let out a gasp and a little moan.

“Not so talkative now, are we, pretty girl?” He mumbles, barely pulling off your pussy to speak, before he’s switching his hand and his mouth, leaning just enough so his tongue can flick against your clit, one of his fingers slipping inside you easily.

He chuckles against you when you moan at the curling of his fingers inside you - he loves when he can reduce you to a whimpering mess in seconds. It doesn’t take him long to feel the telltale signs that he’s going to make you come either. He can feel you start to fluttering around the two fingers he now has buried inside you, can feel the way you try and tighten your thighs around his face, so he carries on exactly how he is - suckling at your clit and moving his fingers in and out of your cunt until you’re coming for him, a high-pitched moan of his name from your mouth.

Joel doesn’t wait, he can’t wait. He stands, making quick work of pushing his own jeans and underwear from his body, finally freeing his aching cock from the tight confines of his trousers. He spits obscenely into his palm, running a tight fist up and down his length a few times before he’s dipping his knees, rubbing the head of his cock against the slick hole of your cunt, listening as he pushes himself inside you, giving you every inch of him as slowly as he possibly can, until he’s sheathed inside your tight heat.

He leans forward, covering your body with his own, his forehead pressed against your shoulder as he gets used to the feeling of you clenching and fluttering around him. He can feel you wiggling a little under him, trying to get him to move, so he brings one of his hands to the nape of your neck, squeezing a little, stopping your movements altogether.

“Keep still,” He warns, “You need to keep still a minute, baby.”

There’s never going to be a time where he doesn’t need to do this. The soft, wet heat of your cunt and those first movements inside you that make him feel like he’s eighteen again, ready to come with a few thrusts.

He gives himself another minute before he starts pulling his cock out of you, slowly dragging through your slick until just the tip is left inside you, then he’s slamming himself back into you, setting a bruising pace.

The sound is obscene - there’s the wet squelch he can hear whenever he pushes his cock back into you, the slapping of his skin against yours and the way you both sound when you’re moaning each others names. He’s not going to last long, he knows it. All of this combined with the fact that anyone could wander in and see you has a thrill settling across his spine.

Joel leans forward again, letting his teeth bite down gently on the skin of your neck. He can feel the way your cunt is clenching, if he can just hold on, just a little longer, he can get another one from you, he knows it.

“Tell me,” He chokes out into your ear, “Tell me how to get you there.”

You let out a loud moan, turning your face to his, kissing him, all teeth and tongue and clumsy, “Bite me again.”

So he does, he lets his teeth sink into the delicate skin of your neck, sucking gently, sure to leave a mark, his hand slinking underneath your belly and down to your pussy, soaked bud of nerves exposed just right for him to use his fingers to swirl across it a few times.

“Oh my God-” He can hear you moaning, “Joel, fuck, please, don’t stop, just like that.”

Within seconds, he can feel you coming on his cock - cunt pulled tight, sucking him in. He feels the gush of slick from your pussy too, cock angled just right to have you squirting for him, something he doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of. It’s the tightening of your walls around him that sets his own orgasm off - that flush of pleasure across his body that blooms even more as he empties himself inside you. He can feel everything, the way your pussy clenches every time he gives you more, sucking his spend in as deep as possible.

He pushes himself up off you a little, hands on your hips, frantically sucking in air. He groans a little as he pulls himself from your cunt, standing back to admire how his cum drips from you. He doesn’t linger long, bending down to pull your clothes back up, gentle kiss pressed to the swell of your bottom as he does. He lets you zip yourself up whilst he puts himself right.

“Well, that was a great start to the morning.” You muse, pressing up on your tiptoes, gripping at his flannel shirt.

He’s about to speak when there’s a bleating from the sheep in the pen behind you, you both laugh, “Someone else agrees.”

He dips down, kisses your mouth slowly, gently, “Go and get clean,” He speaks against your lips, turning you around and giving you a tap on your ass as he does, “You’re filthy.”

“Still turns you on though.”

“Go on, get outta here.”

#Joel Miller x reader #Joel Miller x female reader #Joel Miller x f!reader #Joel Miller x you #Joel Miller smut #Joel Miller #Joel Miller fic #Joel Miller fanfic #Joel Miller fanfiction #Tommy miller x reader #Tommy miller x female reader #Tommy miller x f!reader #Tommy miller x you #Tommy miller fic #Tommy miller fanfic #Tommy miller fanfiction #Tommy miller smut #the last of us #tlou #the last of us hbo #tlou hbo #hbo the last of us #joel x reader x tommy

[burst-of-iridescent]

South Asian and Hindu Influences in ATLA (Part 2)

disclaimer: i was raised culturally and religiously hindu, and though i've tried to do my research for this post and pair it with my own cultural knowledge, i'm not an expert on hinduism by any means. should i mess up, please let me know.

please also be aware that many of the concepts discussed in this post overlap heavily with religions such as buddhism and jainism, which might have different interpretations and representations. as i'm not from those religions or cultures, i don't want to speak on them, but if anyone with that knowledge wishes to add on, please feel free.

Part 1

In the previous post, I discussed some of the things ATLA got right in its depictions of desi and hindu cultures. unfortunately, they also got plenty of things wrong - often in ways that leaned towards racist caricatures - so let's break them down, starting with...

Guru Pathik

both the word "guru" and name "pathik" come from sanskrit. pathik means "traveler" or "he who knows the way" while guru is a term for a guide or mentor, similar to a teacher.

gurus were responsible for the very first education systems in ancient india, setting up institutions called gurukuls. students, referred to as disciples, would often spend years living with and learning from their gurus in these gurukuls, studying vedic and buddhist texts, philosophy, music and even martial arts.

however, their learning was not limited merely to academic study, as gurus were also responsible for guiding the spiritual evolution of their disciples. it was common for disciples to meditate, practice yoga, fast for days or weeks, and complete mundane household chores every day in order to instill them with self-discipline and help them achieve enlightenment and spiritual awareness. the relationship between a guru and his disciple was considered a sacred, holy bond, far exceeding that of a mere teacher and student.

aang's training with guru pathik mirrors some of these elements. similar to real gurus, pathik takes on the role of aang's spiritual mentor. he guides aang in unblocking his chakras and mastering the avatar state through meditation, fasting, and self-reflection - all of which are practices that would have likely been encouraged in disciples by their gurus.

pathik's design also takes inspiration from sadhus, holy men who renounced their worldly ties to follow a path of spiritual discipline. the guru's simple, nondescript clothing and hair are reflective of the ascetic lifestyle sadhus are expected to lead, giving up material belongings and desires in order to achieve spiritual enlightenment and, ultimately, liberation from the reincarnation cycle.

unfortunately, this is where the respectful references end because everything else about guru pathik was insensitive at best and stereotypical at worst.

it is extremely distasteful that the guru speaks with an overexaggerated indian accent, even though the iranian-indian actor who plays him has a naturally british accent. why not just hire an actual indian voice actor if the intention was to make pathik sound authentic? besides, i doubt authenticity was the sole intention, given that the purposeful distortion of indian accents was a common racist trope played for comedy in early 2000s children's media (see: phineas and ferb, diary of a wimpy kid, jessie... the list goes on).

furthermore, while pathik is presented a wise and respected figure within this episode, his next (and last) appearance in the show is entirely the opposite.

in the episode nightmares and daydreams, pathik appears in aang's nightmare with six hands, holding what appears to be a veena (a classical indian music instrument). this references the iconography of the hindu deity Saraswati, the goddess of wisdom and knowledge. the embodiment of divine enlightenment, learning, insight and truth, Saraswati is a member of the Tridevi (the female version of the Trimurti), one of the most respected and revered goddesses in the Hindu pantheon... and her likeness is used for a cheap laugh on a character who's already treated as a caricature.

that's bad enough on its own, but when you consider that guru pathik is the only explicitly south asian coded character in the entire show, it's downright insulting. for a show that took so many of its foundational concepts from south asia and hinduism and yet provided almost no desi representation in return, this is just rubbing salt in the wound.

Chakras

"chakra", meaning "circle" or "wheel of life" in sanskrit, refers to sources of energy found in the human body. chakra points are aligned along the spine, with energy flowing from the lowest to the highest point. the energy pooled at the lowest chakra is called kundalini, and the aim is to release this energy to the highest chakra in order to achieve spiritual enlightenment and consciousness.

the number of chakras varies in different religions, with buddhism referencing five chakras while hinduism has seven. atla draws from the latter influence, so let's take a look at the seven chakras:

Muladhara (the Root Chakra). located at the base of the spine, this chakra deals with our basest instincts and is linked to the element of earth.

Swadhisthana (the Sacral Chakra). located just below the navel, this chakra deals with emotional intensity and pleasure and is linked to the element of water.

Manipura (the Solar Plexus Chakra). located in the stomach, this chakra deals with willpower and self-acceptance and is linked to the element of fire.

Anahata (the Heart Chakra). located in the heart, this chakra deals with love, compassion and forgiveness and is linked to the element of air. in the show, this chakra is blocked by aang's grief over the loss of the air nomads, which is a nice elemental allusion.

Vishudda (the Throat Chakra). located at the base of the throat, this chakra deals with communication and honesty and is linked to the fifth classical element of space. the show calls this the Sound Chakra, though i'm unsure where they got that from.

Ajna (the Third Eye Chakra). located in the centre of the forehead, this chakra deals with spirituality and insight and is also linked to the element of space. the show calls it the Light Chakra, which is fairly close.

Sahasrara (the Crown Chakra). located at the very top of the head, this chakra deals with pure cosmic consciousness and is also linked to the element of space. it makes perfect sense that this would be the final chakra aang has to unblock in order to connect with the avatar spirit, since the crown chakra is meant to be the point of communion with one's deepest, truest self.

the show follows these associations and descriptions almost verbatim, and does a good job linking the individual chakras to their associated struggles in aang's arc.

Cosmic Energy

the idea of chakras is associated with the concept of shakti, which refers to the life-giving energy that flows throughout the universe and within every individual.

the idea of shakti is a fundamentally unifying one, stating that all living beings are connected to one another and the universe through the cosmic energy that flows through us all. this philosophy is referenced both in the swamp episode and in guru pathik telling aang that the greatest illusion in the world is that of separation - after all, how can there be any real separation when every life is sustained by the same force?

this is also why aang needing to let go of katara did not, as he mistakenly assumed, mean he had to stop loving her. rather, the point of shedding earthly attachment is to allow one to become more attuned to shakti, both within oneself and others. ironically, in letting go of katara and allowing himself to commune with the divine energy of the universe instead, aang would have been more connected to her - not less.

The Avatar State

according to hinduism, there are five classical elements known as pancha bhuta that form the foundations of all creation: air, water, earth, fire, and space/atmosphere.

obviously, atla borrows this concept in making a world entirely based on the four classical elements. but looking at how the avatar spirit is portrayed as a giant version of aang suspended in mid-air, far above the earth, it's possible that this could reference the fifth liminal element of space as well.

admittedly this might be a bit of a reach, but personally i find it a neat piece of worldbuilding that could further explain the power of the avatar. compared to anyone else who might be able to master only one element, mastering all five means having control of every building block of the world. this would allow the avatar to be far more attuned to the spiritual energy within the universe - and themselves - as a result, setting in motion the endless cycle of death and rebirth that would connect their soul even across lifetimes.

#atla #atla cultural influences #hinduism in atla #welp i thought this would be the last part but i ended up having more to talk about than i thought #so i'll save the book 3 inspirations for the next post #including my absolute favourite combustion man #and by favourite i mean kill it with fire why did you ever think this was okay to do writers

[asuyaka]

I saw that you write for BSD, so can I request a Dazai x Male Reader(could be gn too, I'm fine with whatever) where the reader is also a detective from ADA and they are bloody rich and they love giving Dazai the royal treatment? I'm talking about carrying his stuff for him, buying whatever he wants without even needing to ask for it, paying for literally everything, making him snacks that they know he will like, opening doors for him, letting him walk on the safer side of the street, giving him flowers, playing with his hair, changing his bandages for him, carrying him around when he doesn't want to use his legs, showering him with kisses and compliments, praising him for his work and constantly expressing how proud they are of him, the whole nine yards.

I just want that man to get some good pampering, heaven knows he needs it.

★ - aaaa!!! 'm sooo glad 'm gettin BSD reqs!! >_< dazai isn't really 'm cup of tea, but 'm think he's okay ! (≧∇≦)ﾉ

☆ - Dazai Osamu x GN! Reader — Can be read as Male reader!

♡ - It's 'm first time tryin' ta write kissin' scenes 'n stuff so please tell me if it's good! Constructive criticism is heavily 'ppreciated! ( •̀ ω •́ )y

It's not an understatement to say you're wealthy. You've worked hard to get where you are now, been through your fair share of trauma to finally live a somewhat stable life in the ADA.

Someone as wealthy as you with no family members to spoil should have someone to make feel worthy, right?

You do. Your best friend, and somehow boyfriend, Dazai Osamu, and his ever-so-concerning suicidal tendencies.

You love him more than anything, as cheesy as that may sound. And you spoil him to make sure he knows that too. Sure, Kunikida may call it a waste of money, but what will you do with it? You're happy in your quaint little ADA-issued dorm room, and sure people might berate you for not buying a million-dollar mansion but that's a waste of money.

You might be millions upon millions of yen wealthy, but you're humble with it.

Not with your spending on Dazai but... he's your boyfriend, who cares?

You walk into the main ADA office with a bright smile on your face. Not that your expression is visible, there's a massive array of flowers covering it.

"[Name] is doing it again," Yosano says as she rolls her eyes. She was the one who with her expert wingman skills, brought you and Dazai together and you'll always be greatful for that.

You wave at Atsushi who was always front and center at you and Dazai's 'gross lovey-dovey actions' as Tanizaki says.

Atsushi gets up, knocking on the Director's door. "Dazai-san, [Name]-san is here for you."

You shift the bouquet from your center to your left side, hiding an array of gifts in the bag you bought as well.

Dazai walks out of the Director's office, hands in his pockets as he pats Atsushi's head. "Alright, what is it this—" His eyes widen when they meet yours.

This isn't the first time you've given Dazai gifts that were obviously expensive. There was a time when you gave him a car and quickly learned how horrible of a driver he was so you weren't making that mistake ever again.

"All of this is for... me?" Dazai points at himself exasperatedly, his eyes wandering around your frame. The bouquet was almost twice your size, full to the brim with pink flowers— flowers he could easily recognize.

They were Camelllias. Flowers that meant love.

"Come, come! There's more for you." You beamed, putting the flowers down and handing him the bag.

Naomi was curious about what was in it the second you walked past the reception, Kenji, was just a naturally curious person.

Dazai pulls out a sharkitty plush. There were two of them, one in black and another in grey. "Oh, they're matching! I thought they looked cute so—"

"They're amazing— you're amazing." Dazai breathes out, a soft tint of red on his face.

Ranpo makes an overexaggerated gagging noise, leaning back against his chair with a lollipop in his mouth.

"I can easily stop supplying you with candy."

Ranpo takes that as an easy warning, immediately going back to doing his work.

"I have a date reserved for us if you aren't busy?" Your voice comes out sheepishly as if it's your first time asking Dazai out. In front of his co-workers it is, but with the amount of PDA you two do, asking him out shouldn't be this embarrassing.

"Crabs?"

"Who do you think I am? Of course, they have crabs."

Dazai smiles, grabbing the bouquet and letting you lead the way. You two begin walking, bidding farewell to your co-workers as you speed up a bit, opening the door for him.

"Ughh— just get out already! No one wants to see you two fawn over each other!" Ranpo yells from his chair. You hear Dazai laugh as he waves one final goodbye, glad he doesn't have to do anymore work, and glad he gets to spend time with you— his partner.

You close the door shut, grabbing the stuff from Dazai's arms so he doesn't have to carry anything. He pressed a kiss on your cheek. He loves you, so so much.

"You didn't have to spend so much on me, you know?" He says softly as he stuffs his hands in his pockets again.

"I don't care about my spending when they come to you, Dazai. I've told you this before, anything you want I'll get it for you. You're my boyfriend, and I love you. What more of a reason do I need?"

Dazai's cheeks burn bright. He's never been the one on the receiving end of flirting, but that all changed when he met you.

He's never felt love, romantic at least, until you came into his life.

He wishes you met Odasaku, you two would've gotten along. "I-I know, you're just—"

"Amazing? Perfect? Stunning? Ooo, maybe you're gonna call me beautiful!" You fill in for him, a cheeky grin on your face as you open the car door for him.

You put your gifts in the backseat, settling in the driver's seat with an adorning smile on your face. "Reward your doting partner with a kiss?"

Dazai rolls his eyes but brings his bandaged hand to your cheek. Your lips meet his in the middle and your hand rests atop his. The kiss was slow, your lips pressed against his like they were made for each other— like you two were made for each other.

You break the kiss in a pant, looking at Dazai with nothing short of fondness in your eyes. "You're great, you're so amazing Dazai."

"Shut up and kiss me."

You comply, now leaning over him as your lips press together, your teeth clacked against his. Dazai's tongue twirled with yours, pressing against the roof of your mouth, his hands settling on your hips as a groan left his mouth, your knee resting in the middle of his legs.

"HAVE SOME DECENCY YOU TWO!"

The two of you separated, looking at the voice with short breaths. Kunikida was standing in front of your windshield, an exasperated look on his face.

You wave an apology, fixing yourself up and sitting back in the driver's spot.

"You okay?" You ask quietly, you and Dazai's hand still intertwined.

"Dinner, right?"

You nod, pressing a final kiss on his cheek as you buckle him and then yourself. "I love you."

Dazai smiles, grabbing the black sharkitty plush from the back, and leaving it in his lap. "I have a crush on you." He says bluntly, his hands scratching the fur on the plushie's body.

You roll your eyes at Dazai's odd way of saying he loves you, but that's just how he is, and you couldn't have him any other way.

#ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁 — ��ʀɪᴛɪɴ' ᴍᴀɴɢᴀ #dazai osamu #dazai osamu x male reader #dazai x you #dazai x gn!reader #bsd x male reader #bsd x gn reader #gn reader #x gn reader #003 #⋆｡𖦹 — ​🇼​​🇦​​🇹​​🇨​​🇭​​🇮​​🇳​❜ ​🇲​​🇴​​🇻​​🇮​​🇪​​🇸​ #★: anon! #bsd #bungou stray dogs

[nevertheless-moving]

I wrote it. They ask.

"So you're essentially an expert on honor, right?"

Kaladin blinked at Shallan, unsure what to make of the question. The three of them had finished eating, and had moved to a smaller, shared table for drinks, secluded from the rest of the building by a hazy curtain. The conversation had been drifting lazily from the city's latest scandals to squire hijinks.

"What?" Kaladin finally said, slightly confused at the abrupt change of topic.

"Of course you are, you're the first person chosen by an honorspren in thousands of years!" Adolin said enthusiastically.

"I mean—"

"And you always figure out the right thing to do!" Shallan said.

"That's definitely not—"

Adolin nodded. "Never murder anyone in cold blood, even when they deserve it."

Kaladin sighed heavily. "Where are you two going with this?"

Shallan coughed into her freehand. "Well, you see, we've been having a little debate about...honor."

"And we were hoping you could settle it. Impartially," Adolin said, tone serious.

Kaladin squinted at him. There was something off about his expression. "Can't you ask Syl?"

Syl was meeting with some of the honorspren with newer bonds tonight; she had insisted that she could handle it on her own, and that he should take the night off, but he was sure she would be happy to switch places to come by and give her opinion on other people's business; that was practically a hobby for her. He wasn't sure sure where pattern was, come to think of it; he hadn't heard him buzz in a while.

"Actually we did!" Shallan said brightly.

"She was our first choice, no offense," Adolin said. "I don't think she entirely understood the dilemma."

"It's a bit too, well, human." Shallan took a large sip of her wine, emptying the glass, but didn't waive over a server for more.

Kaladin felt dread start to coil low in his stomach, the fragile relaxation of the evening starting to slip away. "...I'm going to regret hearing about this, aren't I?"

Adolin leaned towards him, turning wide, pleading eyes his direction. "Please, Kaladin?"

Shallan matched him. Stormfather. Not so long ago ago, lighteyes looking at him like that would have filled him with derision at most. What had happened to him.

"Fine." Kaladin leaned back in his seat, giving in. He was a little curious, even though he knew he wasn't going to be happy with whatever he was about to hear. "What is it?"

Shallan straightened, as if to give a presentation before the Queen. Storms, I have a really bad feeling about this.

"Well, as you know, I'm a lightweaver, and can change mine or someone else's appearance, such that they exactly resemble another. I can also create an illusion, so that it appears that an individual is present, when in fact, they are not."

"...Yes?" Was Shallan nervous? Adolin didn't kill another highprince, did he?

"Now, obviously, practicing lightweaving by pretending to be someone else, when done entirely in private, I mean just me, myself, and I, practicing my radiant abilities, can't possibly be dishonorable."

"I guess?"

Adolin leaned forward now, one hand gesturing sharply. "But what if I'm there? I mean, no ones suggesting that it would be acceptable for Shallan to assume a specific private individual's form in public."

"Unless it's to save lives," Shallan said.

Adolin nodded. "Unless of course it's to save lives."

"Or as part of my crown assigned radiant duties."

"Or that, can't forget to mention that."

"Or with said individual's consent."

"Naturally, consent makes all the difference."

"Quite a few shades of grey."

"Truly, once you think about it. Infinite nuance."

Kaladin pinched the bridge of his nose, scowling to keep from laughing. "Did you rehearse this?"

Shallan waved her hand in his face, forestalling any other objections. "In any case! Would we be disrespecting an individual, let's call this person 'Lin' for short, would we be behaving dishonorably towards Lin, were I to assume Lin's form, or have Adolin assume Lin's form, or have Lin appear while both of us are present, soley within the privacy of our chambers?"

Kaladin waited a few seconds for Adolin to chime in, but he just continued staring intently at Kaladin.

"...This is about Lyn?"

"No, not Lyn, Lin," Shallan corrected primly. He could just barely make out a difference. "Neutral born unto. Just, we don't want to say her — say their name specifically, but I thought saying 'the individual' would get unwieldy."

Ok, probably not about Lyn. Unless they're using a confusing fake name to make me think that. He started to feel a throbbing at the base of his skull.

"Is there some specific reason you want to look like... Lin?" He dropped his voice slightly, rubbing his temples. "Is it for a practical reason? Or do you want to make fun of her — them?"

"Definitely not to make fun of them!" Adolin said, voice dropping to match Kaladin's.

"Many people would consider it flattering," Shallan whispered. "For their form to be assumed in this specific context!"

"We're just not certain if Lin would think that, and we're worried that it would be worse to ask."

"So we decided to ask you instead, since again, you're —"

Kaladin waved a hand at her before they could jump into another bizarre routine. "Honorable, yes, whatever, fine. I get it."

Adolin put a hand on his arm, expression earnest. "Look. If you think we should just directly talk to Lin then we'll do it. We just...don't want to embarrass them, or hurt their feelings in someway. We genuinely aren't sure how they would react, and I mean. You don't have to ask someone's permission for thinking about them, but this is a step up from that, and it's not like there's many people who have had the option, so...hence the uncertainty, and asking for a neutral, completely unconnected, third party opinion."

"Alright, I...guess that makes sense? In an extremely weird way." Kaladin looked between the two of them. Shallan's expression was open and honest, but unfortunately that didn't mean much. Adolin was earnest, but there was something weird about his posture. Guilty? Excited? "But why do you want to see a lightweaving of Lin in private so much?"

Shallan pretended to take a sip out of her empty glass. "I assume you can guess, bridgeboy. Is it really necessary for us to say it aloud?" She had just a hint of red staining the tops of ears, but she colored easily. It could just be the alcohol.

"I really don't know," Kaladin said, baffled. "Is this a lighteyes thing? Like you want to, I don't know...model fashion on them?"

"Ooh." Adolin suddenly looked far too eager. "That's actually not what we were thinking."

"I didn't think it was a lighteyes thing," Shallan said. "But I suppose it could be. I don't have a significant enough sample size to presume." That was clearly a joke there that Kaladin didn't get.

Adolin cleared his throat. "Well." He made another sharp motion with his hands, letting Kaladin go. "As you know, Shallan and I are married."

"Yes, I was at your wedding," Kaladin said dryly.

"We are married," Adolin repeated, talking over him. "And that comes with certain... duties and privileges."

"Among which—" Shallan was definitely blushing now. "—and I suppose this could be considered an, ah, 'lighteyes thing,' is well. The need to create an heir."

They can't possibly be asking me this. Kaladin looked desperately to Adolin, but the man just gave him a sheepish, apologetic grin.

A small part of Kaladin curled up and died.

Blood Of My Fathers.

"No," Kaladin said. "Absolutely not. You are not asking me about something to do with your sex lives."

"You see," Adolin said. "I know you've said you don't have interest in, well, any of that. But for many the process of creating an heir is not just—"

"ARGH." Kaladin threw his arms up, crossing them over his head.

"— a responsibility but a pleasure which—"

"Almighty's Tenth name!"

"—can be performed creatively—"

Kaladin pressed his head to the table, burying himself in his arms to hide his too warm face and probably disgusted expression.

"Stop. Please. Stop." He knew he was whining in a way ill befitting a Windrunner of his Ideal, but the booth they were in was private, and Adolin and Shallan had seen him in far less dignified circumstances.

"Sorry," Adolin said, patting him on the shoulder. "Just wanted to make sure you understood."

"Well I don't!" Kaladin said, looking up but not lifting his chin from his arms. "And I don't storming want to! Why can't you just look like yourselves! I thought you liked how each other looked! I've literally caught you drooling!"

Adolin frowned. "I don't drool, bridgeboy."

Shallan's face was nearly as red as his face felt, but her expression was significantly more gleeful. "I…there may have been one sparring session I observed…that may have generated a small amount of moisture."

Adolin cocked an eyebrow, and smirked. "Moisture, huh?"

"I hate you two," Kaladin lied emphatically.

"Sorry, Sorry." Adolin patted him on the shoulder again. "So? What do you think?"

"I think Rlain is right and its a storming miracle humans have managed to accomplish anything when most of us are permanently stuck in mateform."

Adolin heaved a dramatic sigh. "About our question, Kal, come on. We know you don't like talking about this stuff but that's exactly why we needed your opinion! You're unbiased!"

"And honorable, yes you said. Have I mentioned before that the rewards for being honorable blow?"

They turned twin pleading expressions toward him and he caved immediately. Storms, he had gotten weak. "Battar and Shallash, fine," he snapped. "Fine, give me a minute, alright. Just stop talking. "

The two waited, Shallan only opening her mouth to make a joke twice, Adolin successfully nudgeing her quiet each time; Kaladin lifted himself up, elbows on the table and head in his hands as he looked down, forcing himself to actually give it serious consideration. Wait, I thought Veil was the one who was attracted to women. Oh. Right.

"Alright," he finally said. "I get that people can't always help what they...think about. That's fine. And I also know that trying not to think about something sometimes makes people think about it more, so."

Adolin and Shallan nodded. "You have no idea," Adolin said. "Seriously, I love Shallan, I've absolutely tried not looking at other women's — anyway. It's so much easier to just forgive eachother the occasional wayward glance or errant thought." They squeezed each others hands.

Kaladin sighed. "Right. Sorry if I came off as judgemental."

"No, no, you've made it very clear that you don't like talking about such things, it's completely reasonable to be unhappy. We are sorry for the times we...overshare in front of you."

"It's fine," Kaladin said curtly. "Really. I know you try. Anyway. I also understand that people sometimes, er, fantasize. That way. About things or people they don't actually want in real life. And. Uh. Sometimes people... act that out."

Kaladin stared determinedly at the table, face hot. There was a swirling pattern in the marble that he hadn't noticed before.

"You do?" Adolin said, sounding surprised.

Kaladin coughed. The swirling pattern kind of looked like a river, viewed from above. "There. Might have been an incident, early on in the army, when I heard a couple and, er, overreacted slightly. They took the time to explain things in... painful detail. It's fine. None of my business."

"That's. Very open minded of you," Shallan said, sounding slightly strangled. "Tell me, when the couple was explaining things — oof." Kaladin didn't look, but he was fairly sure Adolin just stepped on her foot, something he was infinitely grateful for. It had been an extremely mortifying lesson. The pair had said they weren't mad about being interrupted, but he was fairly sure they were lying, considering how much detail they went into in their explanation.

"Honestly, the whole...dressing weird, or calling eachother names or using ropes or whatever—"

Adolin made a choking noise. Kaladin kept looking at the little river pattern in the table. If he squinted there were mountains and farms too.

"—all that stuff isn't more or less...unappealing. To think about. Then just regular sex." Kaladin paused. "That is not permission to talk about that sort of thing with me. Please don't share anything about your sex life with me, ok?"

"Of course!"

"We know."

"So," Kaladin continued, rubbing his cheeks to try and get rid of the blush. "Wanting someone isn't breaking your vows. Neither is thinking about them. Probably talking about them is fine too."

He ran his finger along the small river in the polished stone. He could practically feel two sets of light eyes drilling a hole in him.

"My concern, of course, would be for Lin. If playing around with their image would affect the real person. My main concern is it will impact the way you two interact with them."

"If we thought it did then we'd stop immediately," Adolin swore without prompting. "The real person matters far more than our...baser feelings."

"Absolutely," Shallan agreed softly. "We truly don't want to hurt them. That's why we've been struggling with this."

"I believe you," Kaladin said, scrubbing a hand over his face. "Alright, so you've already been...thinking about them, while together, and it hasn't impacted your interactions with the real person."

"No!"

"Trying not to think of them that way was worse," Adolin said ruefully. "I am...fairly sure they have not noticed any feelings on my part, and even if they had they've ignored them very politely so...like I said, if messing with lightweaveing changes that, we'll stop right away, but I don't think it will. We know who they are."

Kaladin studied the marble some more. He was pretty sure he had flown over somewhere in Alethkar that looked a bit like that riverbend, but he couldn't remember where.

"You cannot do this anywhere someone could possibly see or overhear," Kaladin said, looking up to make brief, serious eye contact with each of them. "Not visiting another city. Not where guards or servants could overhear, even trusted ones. Not in the duelist preparation chamber — yes I know about that. Not while exploring the less used parts of the city — yes, I heard about that too. Not in your sitting room or against the door, where someone passing by could overhear. Just in your own bedchamber, door locked."

"That sounds reasonable," Shallan said, flushing but solemn.

"Very reasonable," Adolin agreed, nodding sharply.

Kaladin grimaced, looking back down at the table. "I think...while part of me says you should ask Lin directly...that also sounds somewhat humiliating for everyone involved. I mean, again, it's more similar to thinking about someone than anyone else, and even if they were, er, flattered... It's not like you would actually be able to sleep together anyway, with your marriage oaths, so it would be a moot point."

"...Right," Adolin said unconvincingly. Kaladin decided not to think about that.

"So... it's alright?" Shallan said hopefully. "With those conditions? Not dishonorable?"

Kaladin forced himself to look up again, and immediately regretted it. They both looked far too eager.

"Not dishonorable," he sighed, closing his eyes and leaning back.

"Thank you!" Adolin said, with way too much passion.

"Thank me by never speaking to me of this again, and never asking me anything like this for the rest of our lives."

"Yes to the first one, no promises to the second," Shallan said gleefully. "Well. Now that we've discussed that matter, how about we get back to talking about—"

"Leave. For the love of all that is good, please leave," Kaladin begged, not opening his eyes. Shallan took advantage of this by kissing him lightly on the cheek. Adolin hugged him from the other side.

There was the sound of spheres tossed on the table and rapid movements, and then they were gone.

Kaladin opened his eyes, shaking his head. One of them had knocked over a glass in their haste to leave. They had, of course, left a small fortune to pay the bill.

He left the winehouse feeling...bemused mostly. Maybe he'd go find Rlain and they could gripe about humans and mateforms together. He would probably not make eye contact for Lyn for the next week, even though he was fairly sure they were talking about Isnah or Beryl. Best not to guess. He kicked off from the ground, the rush of wind immediately clearing away discomforting thoughts or lingering stress of the day.

He smiled, speeding up and feeling his heart race with the exhilaration that only the sky could bring, with no pressing meetings or appointments to get to. Syl had been right. It was good to take a night off every now and again.

#stormlight archive #cosmere #stormlight fanfic #kaladin stormblessed #shockingly sweet and wholesome considering the premise #asexual/sex repulsed Kaladin Stormblessed #Prude kaladin Stormblessed #shadolin #unrequited feelings #nevertheless writing #oathbringer spoilers #nevertheless cosmere #deliberately vague time period but maybe probably post book 5. #Shallan and Adolin are such trash. I love them. #if anyone feels like betaing this for ao3 posting send me a message

[musicallisto]

hiiiiiii if possible can i please also request a 🐚 with formula one? i am a (suffering) woman in stem (biomedical engineering) and although i can be introverted in situations w big groups i love spending time with my friends & making them laugh. i have no gender preference and i cannot wait to see what you come up with <33333

oookay lisa, it is high time i told you about this random ship/association that has been living rentfree in my mind for a while now... i can't keep quiet any longer, and i will wax poetic about you two, because clearly your one true f1 match is lewis hamilton.

okay first of all let me get the obvious out of the way: this man is absolutely gorgeous and oh so lovely oh my god. out of all the drivers on the grid he is the one i would be RACING to introduce to my parents. my mom would never ever reprimand me for anything again if i brought a guy like lewis home.

lewis is such an attentive guy, so he would most definitely try to keep up with your studies/work the same way you do his. it's only fair, and besides, he loves it when you nerd out about engineering; the way your eyes twinkle and you trail off because you get a little self-conscious. he thinks it's the most adorable thing ever, because guess what! he is a little bit of a nerd too!

also he loves asking you for input from an engineering perspective, which you've told him time and time again that you're in biomedical, you have NO idea how his car's aerodynamism or mechanic stress work, but he still values your expertise which is, obviously, the highest of praise coming from someone who is basically The Expert himself in his domain.

and you may act humble and like the mercedes engineers' jobs are way out of your league, but you do know your stuff about thermodynamics and fuel chemistry and composite materials, and lewis is blown away every time by your off-handed commentary, as if your observations were self-evident truths. certainly to you they are, the same way he's got an almost carnal understanding of his car's behavior on the track, and that's why you make such a fierce team. you're the theory, he's the practice <3

that's probably how you would meet by the way. and they were coworkers... oh my god they were coworkers... WAIT NO what if you were lewis' RACE ENGINEER ok ok i'm backtracking!!! you DO know your racing stuff actually. ohhhh good shit

because you know lewis is a cocky bastard (honorary, he's earned it) and when he's still high off the adrenaline of the race, perhaps when he's just scored a podium, he relentlessly flirts with you over radio. tells you he never could've done without you, right, sweetheart?, in that suave voice of his. on LIVE TELEVISION??

oh the twitter girlies are eating that up. and you are fumbling over your words, trying to congratulate him in a way that doesn't give away how putty in his hands you are.

but you're the one he runs to as soon as he's off the podium and free from the clutches of journalists and cameras, without fail.

planet F1 practically implodes after saudi arabia 2021, not only from the actual race which is already a good enough reason to go crazy tbh but also because lewis hamilton, breathless after racing past the checkered flag, seemingly asks you out point blank.

"congrats, lewis! you did it! that's first in the world again!" "... i believe this means i've won my bet, and i can finally take you out?"

we won't talk about the grand prix that followed, lol. he may have lost the world championship but at least he won the girl of his dreams, or something <3

you guys are so silly together it's actually disrespectful to the whole paddock. like there are people working here, loves. doing their 9 to 5. stop giggling and taking the piss at toto wolff in hushed whispers like school children!!

but you won't, and though they may not say it... all the other drivers love you two together <3 less so when knowing you are watching seemingly gives lewis wings during shootouts, however...

#— celebration; 1.5k! #— ask. #₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ lisa #f1 x reader #formula one x reader #lewis hamilton x reader

[arabic-langblr]

Sneak peek about the surprise

Hello, lovely people!

I hope you're all doing well.

First of all, thank you so much for the warm welcome back ;-; I honestly didn't expect it! I would have returned much earlier if I knew that was the case :')

Anyways, I'm currently working on a few posts and there's also the surprise I mentioned earlier, which I wanted to share it with you to see who's interested in participating in it.

I've always said that I'm not so happy with the available free Arabic courses online, so I decided to do something about it and make an actual good free course that is fun and accessible for everyone. I have experience in teaching Arabic for non-native speakers of different ages so I think I'll be able to make an interesting course based on my humble experience and knowledge.

I'm currently working on the material, although I'm no editing expert but my point is not to have the "perfect" course in terms of technology/presentation. I am, however, confident that the content will be good, that I'll be able to give you guys something that is fun and practical إن شاء الله. I'm not sure if we can call it a course, or an event or a learning activity, as you wish it's the idea that counts ^^

I'm gonna start from the very beginning, and I'll be with you every step on the way. During the time the course/event will take place, I'll answer questions, give you homework and correct it, etc.

It won't be live. I'll make content in advance so that people can listen to it at their own pace. I'm thinking of posting 2 lessons a week depending on how long each lesson will be.

I hope you'll be interested in this idea, the first level will be beginner i.e. the letters / harakat / words.

Is anyone interested in this idea? let me know.

Also, if you have any other comments / questions feel free to share them! Like how long would the lessons be ideally? And how many lessons per week?

#arabic #arabic-langblr #arabic langblr #I don't know if this counts as a sneak peek omg I ended up ranting about the whole thing pfffft #anyways I'm really excited about this and I'm the type of person who can't contain her excitement #I'm not sure if we can call it an event or a course #the idea is that it will be for a limited time so that people will be motivated to study #personal

[ghostinthegallery]

I'm sorry, of course, you've probably been asked similar questions more than once, but... Could you tell the height (even approximate based on the facts) of many famous Necrons? Yes, I have already found a similar post, but with two specific ones, from you, but I'm afraid I won't be able to find it right away... I hope it won't bother you.. ;^;

Alright let's go! I have apparently become an expert on one thing and that is apparently the relative heights of fictional robots from space.

First, some notes on methodology. I am going mostly based off of models, which means I cannot give precise answers about characters who don't have updated models as the old resin ones aren't in the correct scale. Also some characters don't have models so...vibes I guess.

I have also included a Standard Reference Marine (SRM) for scale. Primaris marines are about 8 ft tall give or take (they can apparently get up to 10 ft but my guess is that's mostly named characters not my generic lil dude here).

A few rules of thumb

Necrons are taller than humans, including marines

Crypteks are taller than lords, although this is variable as crypteks are usually adept at manipulating living metal which lets them adjust their forms

Vibes reign supreme

So with all that in mind here is my line up

In order from shortest to tallest we have:

Standard Reference Marine

Overlord

Plasmancer

Chronomancer

Orikan

Imotekh

Szeras

Yes I beefed up Imotekh's base, but that puts him about on the same level as Orikan with his floating. It evens out.

A closer image of the SRM and the crypteks:

Look at this little guy.

SRM next to Imotekh:

And because I am devoted, here is the Silent King himself (not on a base sorry)

As you can see, Szarekh is taller than Imotekh, so put him between Imotekh and Szeras in the lineup.

Now with these references we can roughly estimate the heights of the named necrons if we assume that Trazyn, Anrakyr, Oltyx, and Zahndrekh are all around the height of an overlord (probably taller as they have Named Character Privilege). Yenekh is specifically described by Oltyx as Tall so he's probably taller. Same with Zultanekh. Obyron should be based on a lychguard but no he's a big lad because I say so, vibes reign supreme.

Drum roll please!!

Necron Character Height Master List

Zahndrekh- 9 ft (he's a short king to me)

Anrakyr and Oltyx- 10 ft

Trazyn and Yenekh- 10.5 ft (Trazyn gets an extra half foot for the hood)

Orikan and Obyron - 11 ft

Imotekh and Zultanekh- 11.5 ft

Szarekh- 12 ft. (13 with the crown)

Szeras- big. He's just big okay

There we go! Hope this helps ❤️

P.S. While we have clearly determined Szarekh is taller than Imotekh, I can confirm without a shadow of a doubt that Imotekh has bigger tits. I checked. It wasn't close.

#answering asks #necrons #the necron height master list #my contribution to the community #i am an expert #i cut myself on a hobby knife twice while assembling models for this #my blood is on these models #this is what i do for y'all #out of love

[for-a-longlongtime]

On Dieter, Goya's Black Paintings, and Pedro on Talk Art 

Alright y'all, it's Saturday evening, I have nothing better to do (I actually do but I don't feel like it), so welcome to my mini TED Talk about 'how to pay too much fucking attention to the Pedro cinematic universe'. None of this is new, and maybe everybody already knew about this, but I didn't... so here's a nerdy tangent courtesy of googling/wikipedia-ing.

I was reading a Dieter!fic (this one right here by @chaoticgeminate - go read her writing!) earlier today, which refers to the 'Saturn Devouring His Son' painting - that giant mural Dieter is working on in The Bubble:

(his brush isn't even touching the wall tho, ha)

The original 'Saturn' by Goya

The fic mentioned its part of 'The Black Paintings', so I got curious and started googling. I'm no art major or expert, so please allow me to just paraphraze the Wikipedia page. 'Saturn' is part of a group of 14 Goya paintings that are called Pinturas Negras/The Black Paintings. They "portray intense, haunting themes, reflective of both his fear of insanity and his bleak outlook on humanity" --this was late in Goya's life, and was connected to several illnesses he had experienced (and the fear of relapsing) and political turmoil in Spain at the time (post-Napolean war, changing Spanish government, etc.

Trivia fact 1: Goya actually made these paintings right on the walls of the Quinta del Sordo (so-called Deaf Man's villa) where he was staying -- so I love that Apatow had Dieter also paint right on the walls.

Trivia fact 2: while Goya was living in this villa, he actually became gravely ill (again) - not by a pandemic obviously, but it's hard to not link that loosely to the COVID period. He had never intended for these 'Black Paintings' to become public; "these paintings are as close to being hermetically private as any that have ever been produced in the history of Western art" (the murals were eventually transfered to canvas by other folks once he had moved out of the villa). Switching back to The Bubble -- I love how the tragic influence of Goya's illness(es) and art/things 'made at home away from the world, not intended for an audience' (so obviously, in a bubble) has that connection to the COVID experience and how many folks were suddenly homebound, along with the burden of illness in many ways (lord knows this all did a serious number on our mental health). In the movie, Dieter and the others do not want to go into isolation again, but that solitude is what eventually led him to painting on the walls in his room. This is not a 'grand discovery' of any kind, but I got a kick out of the parellels once I read up on it - and honestly makes me appreciate the movie a bit more, haha.

Not happy about another quarantine period.

Alright, more hyperfocusing after the cut:

Some googling led me to a post from last year by @nicolethered (gifs in this post are hers), and she included screencaps of the walls of Dieter's room (during that drug scene), which I hadn't even noticed while watching the movie. Upon taking a closer look, I noticed they're outtakes from other pieces of Goya's Black Paintings! I thought that was really cool, they sure worked on the details with that set (there's one more that's shown in a different shot but I can't exactly figure out which outtake that is):

First one is a mirror image from Two Old Men Eating Soup and the second one is basically Satan aka 'The Great He-Goat' from the Witches' Sabbath painting. Which IMO makes for fucking hilarious perfection a.k.a. trivia fact 3 -- because we all know about Dieter and his little emotional support goat, LOL. Excellent connection.

*insert sound bit from Hot Ones interview* : "Just let me love you!"

Anywaaay there's more. The Bubble was shot during Feb 22, 2021 to April 16, 2021, right? Pedro has spoken about how his input in shaping Dieter was mostly regarding his outfits (the Crocs, the robe, etc). But then I suddenly remember the Talk Art interview he had done in 2018, and how he namechecks 'The Dog' by Goya - and lo, guess which painting is actually part of the 14 Black Paintings? Yeap - the dog! So I checked the podcast and he was asked, 'if you could be any painting, what painting would you be?' by Russell. Here is the painting, and below it is what he said on Talk Art:

'The Drowning Dog' by Goya

"I think… it's a Goya. Yeah, old school. I think it's called 'Dog Buried in Sand' or something like that. It's so… I remember feeling it was such a visual representation of helplessness, in such a… come on, let's all admit that helplessness is a very recurring feeling for many of us, you know what I mean? When it comes to so many things. I guess… I was in Spain, in Madrid, and I was 20. And I went to the Goya museum. What's interesting about it is that the head of the dog is really quite small and sort of adorable, it looks like a stray mutt, and the painting - if I can remember it correctly - is very rectangular. There's so much above him, like the world just seems so big. It's quite incredible, isn't it? I know it's really sad, and sort of dark, and maybe I really like enjoy perceiving myself like..." (He gets interrupted by Russell, and then continues;) "Yeah, he's certainly not dying, it's sort of - it's a moment", (then interrupts himself with;) "Maybe he's totally dying, there's no way that dog is getting out of that. That dog is SO fucked. Anyway, that's the painting that represents my life". (All three of them burst out into laughing.)

If you're still reading this - I am impressed with your dedication to my silly little post, haha. Anyway, I just thought it was so striking that there basically is a straight line from the painting he mentioned in Talk Art to what Dieter is painting in the Bubble. Makes me wonder if perhaps he - or even Russell/Robert - had any input in that part of Dieter's backstory.

Thank you for attending my TED Talk on artistic analysis of Dieter Bravo during COVID, we now resume your regularly scheduled program for Saturday night. 🤪

(Have I been smoking because a local dispensary actually had 'Mando' bud? I sure as fuck have and I blame that for this post.)

#pedro pascal characters #dieter bravo #dieter bravo x oc #dieter bravo fanfic #dieter bravo x f!reader #dieter bravo fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal #fic rec #ted talks #saturday night ramblings #ADHD #hyperfocus #the bubble #judd apatow #talk art #russell tovey #robert diament #goya #art #painting #oil painting #art history #my writing

[thinkin-bout-milgram]

Double: Initial Thoughts

Hello Milgram community! It's time to talk about Mikoto's second MV, Double! This is pretty fun for me, given that Mikoto is actually the first prisoner whose MV I watched when it came out. I have gotten so much better at theorizing. The old theory is... meh. Ignore it, it was wrong and doesn't really matter.

Though, to be honest, and I think people will agree here -- I don't feel like Double actually gave us much to work with. The biggest thing is the confirmation (in my opinion) that there for sure only are two alters, which makes things easier to figure out, not harder. Because of this, these initial thoughts might be a bit less interesting than normal. Still, I'll do my best!

T/W: Murder, toxic work environments, mental health crises, blood

For the sake of this theory, I'll be using @onigiriico's English translation of Mikoto's new audio drama, Neoplasm! Thanks as always for your great work! I'd also like to thank everyone who sent in help with the translations! I'll be using Rochisama's (@barudo's) translation post, which translates all of the Japanese background text in the MV.

Also, as you'll see in the audio drama, Es takes to calling Orekoto John and Bokuto Mikoto. I... will not be doing that. They're called Bokuto and Orekoto to me based on the personal pronouns they use.

Disclaimer: I'm for sure not an expert on DID, so if I say anything wrong/offensive please let me know so I can correct it!

Anyways though, here's what thoughts I do have!

Orekoto's alter developed as a result of stress in Bokuto's life.

This is pretty much straight-up confirmed in the audio drama.

Orekoto: … I think… I might be the person Boku wishes he was. The person who stubbornly stands his ground, who doesn’t cry himself to sleep from stress, who gives people their payback. If I, the “ore” personality, hadn’t been born, I’m sure Boku would have reached his limit and fallen apart.

Based on this, we know that there's some general stressor going on in Bokuto's life, and we know that Orekoto seems like the new alter who developed for the sake of protecting Bokuto. I believe that's what's pictured at the beginning of the MV:

The glass breaking is most likely meant to display the "fracturing" of Mikoto's identity, signifying the creation of the Orekoto alter.

The most obvious stressor in Bokuto's life seems to be work. At the beginning of the MV (0:12-0:18), we see Mikoto's phone with text messages. The text translates as follows:

Chief (7 mins ago) Regarding the first draft you submitted today, I think option B might be the best after all, so can you remake by the morning.

Chief (5 mins ago) Also I forgot to mention, but you also made a lot of mistakes with the one we spoke about earlier, so make sure it’s all fixed too. This one also needs to be ready by morning, so I’ll leave it to you to get everything ready.

It seems like his "Chief," likely the boss of his job, is demanding a lot of work from him, and Bokuto is struggling to keep up with his work. On the whole, it seems like Bokuto is kinda just struggling to cope with living.

You’re overdoing it, you’re already broken

I was having such a hard time, I was trying so hard

That's what Orekoto comes into the picture.

Orekoto killed ??? people.

We don't know how many people he may have killed! The video is... pretty nonspecific about it. There are definitely multiple mannequins that he smashed, which for sure implies multiple.

Based on MeMe, I thought it was only one person, just because it seems like he only hid one body. Based on the new audio drama, I don't think he killed multiple different times, either.

Es: Who did you kill? Orekoto: Just someone who was walking around nearby. Es: … How many did you kill? Orekoto: Can’t remember. I was first born back then, you know. It’s kinda fuzzy.

If the murder happened right around when he was "first born," it would make sense if it's only the one time, right? It's possible that this is meant to refer to a broader time frame and I'm taking "first" too literally here, but I still think it's a definite possibility that he only killed one person.

It's gonna be hard to get a confirmation on that one, since it seems like Bokuto and Orekoto don't know the actual number. Still, we can look at the crime out of context of the body count and try to determine our forgiveness of that.

Neither Bokuto nor Orekoto are coping well with the guilty verdict.

Bokuto is, understandably, distressed. He's aware enough to realize that things have changed and that something must be happening while he's "sleeping," but he still seems to have no idea what's actually happening or who Orekoto is.

Notably, in both MeMe and Double, Bokuto is seen reacting to Orekoto in at least some ways. However, the way it's portrayed, I don't really think that's a lie or feigned innocence in any way. My best guess is that it's just using the visuals of what actually happened while showing Bokuto's distress with not knowing what's happening.

Either way, Bokuto was heading straight for a mental breakdown before accidentally committing ??? murders and getting told he's guilty for it by a weird mystery prison, so it's not surprising at all that he's faring poorly.

As Orekoto hypothesizes in the audio drama, the amount of stress Bokuto is under is actually why we've seen Orekoto fronting so much more now. Orekoto exists to help Bokuto escape from the stress of his day to day life, and given that Milgram has become extremely stressful, Orekoto fronts a lot.

Orekoto isn't doing super well either, though, likely as a result of the toll everything is taking on Bokuto. He exists and did what he did solely to protect Bokuto, so the fact that it's causing Bokuto stress and potentially endangering him definitely isn't something he'd be happy about. The MV focuses on this pretty heavily at the end.

The audio drama tells us that Orekoto is perfectly willing to own up to his guilt and take the blame for what he did. He's very clear about Bokuto not having done anything, though, and insists he has no idea what was going on. He was only dreaming.

I have no idea how the end of MeMe plays into this video.

I interpreted Orekoto handing Bokuto the death card as a moment where Orekoto shows Bokuto his existence and letting him know about the murders, but like I said, I don't really believe Bokuto knows anymore. If that's the case, though, I have NO clue what that scene was supposed to mean. I can't really figure out how to piece Double and MeMe together, and based on how little I feel like I got out of Double, it concerns me to just disregard MeMe-based theories entirely.

That being said...

VERDICT: INNOCENT

Please vote him innocent. For pretty much any reason I can think of, an innocent verdict is better.

Orekoto is right when he says that Milgram clearly instructs us to judge Bokuto specifically; Orekoto isn't a prisoner in regards to restraints or rules, but Bokuto is. If you're judging based on forgiveness, if Bokuto truly didn't know, it's hard not to forgive him, even if he arguably shares guilt.

Mikoto in general is probably more likely to have a further mental breakdown if we keep applying pressure with a guilty verdict, which in turn makes him more likely to lash out in stress again and kill another prisoner. We can't restrain Orekoto, who would likely continue fronting in the face of a guilty verdict, and we already know that his high-stress coping mechanism is killing whoever walks by. It's the safer option to vote innocent.

And then there's the fact that I just, like... want to help him? Genuinely forgive him? I don't want to vote Mikoto guilty. There's no point, and I just disagree with it. I'm pretty firmly in the innocent camp on this one, and based on the votes, it seems like a lot of people agree.

#milgram #ミルグラム #admin venus #mikoto kayano #theory #milgram theory #this is kinda short and doesn't have a lot of insight #my bad but also i got nothing #i'll try to figure out how meme and double connect at some point #saturn and i are also planning on going through a bunch of the hard to read text and making a post about what it says/what we think it says #hopefully soon #lmk what you think #anyways mikoto inno sweep

[akwolfgrl]

I'm a great fuck but better lover part 6

Zoro entered the boys' room. It was late but still earlier than his usual time. When he placed his swords on the coach, he noticed a new extra large hammock strung up. Sanji lay curled up inside. It was safe to assume that this was the surprise waiting for him that Sanji had mentioned during dishes. Zoro slid off his shoes, shirt, and pants, leaving his boxers on before sliding into the hammock next to his boyfriend. He pressed Sanji's slimmer body against his own, his head tucked under his chin, the other man's long legs trapped his own snuggling closer. Zoro could get used to this.

When he woke, Sanji was gone, only Luffy's snores to keep him company, Usopp was on watch last night. Zoro grabbed the clothes he had on yesterday and grabbed his swords from the coach. He went straight for the kitchen, and he paused to look inside before he opened the door the rest of the way. Sanji left it open a cack so Mr. Noodles could come and go as he pleased. He was sitting at the table, a cup of tea by his side, a small plate with half a pice of toast with red jam on top, a cigarette in one hand and his pen in the other. His blond hair with it slight curls glowing in the morning light. Zoro opened the door and made his way inside.

“Your up early today,” Sanji spoke, taking a drag from his cigarette. “Come sit by me, I was just working on your notebook,”

“My notebook?” Zoro decided to lay across the bench the best he could and lay his head in Sanji's lap. His boyfriend's free hand ran his long fingers through his short hair.

“While in town I picked up a pack of colored notebooks to keep records on food prenceses for everyone, right now I'm just transferring the info I already have,” Sanji explained taking a sip of his tea. “Did you want tea or toast before bakefast? I made Rose Jam form the roses you got me."

“Nah, what's for breakfast anyway?”

“Soufflé pancakes and okonomiyaki for you, of course lots of meat for Luffy,”

“Okonomiyaki? I haven't had that in years, thire was a street cart that used to make the best okonomiyaki I had some when I said my goodbyes before I left,” Zoro had spent hours at Kuinas grave knowing he wouldn't see her again until he achieved his goal.

“Zoro, we need to talk,” Zoro sat up, that did not sound good. But he couldn't think of anything that could be worng. He knew he was new to realships but he couldn't have fucked up that badly alredy…the crows nest incident not withstanding. “About sex, we shuld have talked before and more. I really don't want anthoer crows nest cry to happen,”

“Oh…OK? What do we need to talk about? It's just sex?”

“It stopped being just sex when you started spanking me, let alone edging, tieing me up and me choking you with my thighs,” Sanji listed off his cigarette bobbing while he spoke.

“Yah, I guess you've got a point,”

“So I'm no expert, but I know a few things about this, we already talked a bit about what we don't like, I guess add degadison to the list. We need to talk before trying new things I think, as much fun as it was to choke you with my thighs it was pretty fucking treffing, what if you didn't pinch me? What if I didn't feel it in time? Also we need to get better rope for the next time, rope burn is very unpleasant,”

“But I did pinch you, and I didn't pass out,” Zoro pointed out. “But I suppose your right,”

“So I was thinking maybe write down some hard and soft limits to start with maybe stuff you wish to try, like for me a hard limit is the head and face coverings, soft is the gags. I don't like them, but well, we do live in a shared space, so they might be necessary,” Sanji handed him the feathered pen and some paper. “I need to start breakfast, so how about we talk again after dinner,” Sanji gave him a kiss before heading to the fridge, taking his dishes with him

Zoro shoved the papper and the pen in his Haramaki and escaped to the crows nest. Once thire, he took one of his weights and got to work. As he got into the rhythm, he thought about what they had discussed. He had to think back on his prior experience about what he did and did not like.

He honestly didn't like being called Master/Slave/Daddy/Sir he didnt like saying it, ethior. It was just weird to him. Zoro honestly never had thought about this before, but for his Love-Cook, he'd give it ago.

#I'm a great fuck but better lover #one piece #fanfic #sanji #vinsmoke sanji #black leg sanji #roronoa zoro #zoro #zoro x sanji #zosan

[alastorgould]

Rocket's Backstory

*deep breath* God help me

This is the most inconsistent Marvel backstory and I, the top expert on Halfworld, am here to clear it up.

I'm going to split the variants into the following catagories: 1985, 2014, modern comics, show, and mcu. (the show is simply called Guardians of the Galaxy and is on disney+ and i highly recommend).

I have compiled a spreadsheet to go over the main points

As you can see, it's a shit show.

(As i go over the stories as best I can, please note that i am not a comic buff i am a 15 yo with Asperger's and an obsession with Halfworld and if i get something wrong plz don't be mad at me just tell me and I'll fix it :3)

1985 Rocket Raccoon- Rocket is a genetically modified caretaker on Halfworld, a mental asylum used to hold the insane of the galaxy, known as loonies/shrinks (extremely offence things to call mentally ill ppl but it was the 80'ssss). They have a book called the Halfworld Bible, which holds the secrets of the planets and it's people. The planet is ruled by Mayhem Mechaniks and Dyvynicies Inc; rival toy companies owened by Judson Jakes and Lord Dyvyne respectively. Jakes killed Lylla's parents to steal the company and it's... horrifying robot clowns. Pyko steals the Halfworld Bible for it's instructions on how to escape the planet in a giant human-shaped ship. Jakes and Dyvyne find out about this plot and team up to crash a party and there's a big battle and Rocket, Lylla, Pyko, Wal, Blackjack, and possibly Pyko escape Halfworld on the ship, leaving it in shambles as the loonies are left to the own devices to rebuilt the planet with their newfound wisdom (Pyko manages to 'cure' them)

2014 Rocket Raccoon (my fav series :3)- This one doesn't have much in the way of backstory, all we know is what Captain Sale gives us in the last book. Throughout the series it is shown that Rocket has no memory of his creation and believes he is the last of his kind. Until he ends up on Captain Sale's ship. She gives he the key to the Book of Halfworld and he takes 4 hours to read it. He is shown to be disgusted and horrified at the contents, leaving it with Sale and going home. (Clowns and the toy factory etc are mentioned, implying it is a sequel to the 1985 version.

Modern Comics- This section is specifically about v5 GotG #8 as I don't recall any other comics going into much detail. Here, there are loonies and robots, but no clowns. They must have thought it was too silly. Rocket is a therapy animal turned sentient with cruel experimentation. This is the first version of Rocket's backstory to show him sustaining significant and lasting trauma from his past. Not to mention the debilitating physical effects of having a metal skeleton and countless other weird things he doesn't understand. After his transformation, he is shown with the 1985 gang and other past team ups in a montage. It seems there is also an attempt at continuity here but it misses the mark a bit.

GotG Show 2015- This is by far the worst adaptation in my opinion, as it completely overhauls the story. So note that I have bias here. Here, Rocket is a simple Earth raccoon that has been transformed with the purpose of being a living weapon. His purpose was more 'artificial genius' than 'genetic marvel'. Immediately after being let into a more open enclosure, he meets Groot and effortlessly destroys the robots and steals a ravanger ship. After freeing all the creatures, of course.

(i am unable to provide images for this section as disney is a pussy ass company and won't let me screenshot but just imagine it sucking)

MCU- Anyone reading this has already seen the movies but I'll go over it anyway. The High Evolutionary is a man trying to recreate a sentient Earth-like planet by modifying creatures. Rocket is one of these poor souls. He lives his early years in a cage with Floor, Lylla, and Teefs. Rocket manages to open the cage one day, only to have his friends shot in front of him by the High Evolutionary. He then escapes. He meets Groot later in a well, not shown but confirmed by James Gunn.

Wow this took long to write. Time for the conclusion. Here i will 'average out' all the stories and throw in my personal theories.

My version- Halfworld is an insane asylum built by the Kree where they experiment on mentally ill people to try to cure them(we used to do this here on earth until the 60's). The 'toy factory' is a cover-up for this operation. The robot 'doctors' use clown faces to put the patients at ease. But what do psycho robot doctors do when the asylum is abandoned and not longer supplied with patients? They turn to the animal inhabitants on the planet. The Halfworld Bible/ Book of Halfworld is an engineering manual documenting the disgusting progress of making an innocent creature sentient. Pyko frees his people after decades of slavery in a grand rebellion and Lylla becomes the Priestess and guardian of the book like in 1985. Unfortunately, during the rebellion, 89P13 and Groot get stuck in an escape pod and sent away from the Keystone Quadrent, leading him to believe all of his people are dead or re-enslaved.

I think this version harnesses the soul and vibe of all the backstories while making it make more sense in the long run.

I had a lot of fun putting this together and I hope y'all appreciate it :D (Follow for more Halfworld content <3)

#artists on tumblr #anime and manga #autism #gotg #guardians of the galaxy #rocket raccoon #lylla otter #pyko tortoise #halfworld #uno duo trey #marvel #mcu #comics

[mixelation]

some kushina jr/tobirama thoughts

they meet mid-to-late teens bc kushina jr has no planning skills and they invented time and dimension hopping with no way to get home, so they just show up and realize they've fucked up and now they live in the woods. the senju-uchiha war is still in full swing, and the only relevant difference between this timeline and canon is tobirama is a woman

tobirama's personality is NOT all that different, and she fucking hates uchiha. she runs into kushina jr and tries to murder them even as kushina jr flaps their arms around and tries to explain they're from the future. uh huh. nice try. tobirama fails to kill them though, and kushina jr unfortunately remembers tobirama is supposed to be a time-space jutsu expert so they won't leave her ALONE

tobirama: anija i have gained my own annoying uchiha, but this one is delusional

madara: who in the fuck is this. i've never seen them before in my life

kushina jr: (jazz hands) time traveler....!!

tobirama: what the fuck

now tobirama wants to know how this was even possible >:( get BACK HERE, kushina----!!

i'm thinking the main effect the gender change has for tobirama is that she has a lot more social pressure to be a certain way than before. kunoichi ARE expected to fight and screwing around with experimental jutsu is fine, but also she's expected to be pretty and traditionally feminine for her future husband and gets more comments about how she's wasting her time if experiments don't work immediately (which they rarely do because that's just how experimentation is). she's discouraged from seeking leadership positions except in very specific domestic ways even though she's often the most competent person in the room. men get weird at her when she's stronger, smarter, and faster than them in a way men don't get about other men. she keeps getting scolded for rude speech. which like... all that is not going to stop her, but now she's grumpier and more aggressive

also bc tobirama is someone who likes clearly defining rules and then sticking to them, i think she'd have a lot of internal conflict about her expected role As A Woman versus what she would LIKE her role to be.

kushina jr is very open to just babbling about the future, and tobirama finds herself, like.... extremely curious about it despite herself. both as like someone who likes having knowledge for the sake of knowledge, but also in this horrible disney princess way where she kind of wishes she'd been born in kushina jr's time. yes please tell her more about fulfilling clan duties without having to give birth

anyway kushina jr figures out how to leave after a couple months but they fucked up in that because they went to tobirama for help, tobirama now ALSO knows how to timeline jump and obviously she follows. after all, they don't know the rules of time travel, and kushina jr might fuck EVERYTHING UP

tobirama: we should identify some timelines were don't care about fucking over and run some experiments

kushina jr, who grew up hearing stuff like that all the time: yeah okay sure

i don't think any version of tobirama thinks super hard about romance but i can see her watching someone flirt with kushina jr and suddenly feeling blind jealous that is VERY alarming. like no she has never once before considered dating until hashirama picks out her husband to strategically marry to strengthen the clan or whatever is going to happen, but also, kushina jr is HER annoying uchiha in the woods

kushina jr after they become Official: i know you'll be busy being hokage and all, but i was kind of hoping you'd help me run the uchiha clan too

tobirama, brain completely shutting down: wait. wait. what

kushina jr: like when we get married?

tobirama: WHAT

kushina jr: did i not tell you i'm the heir

tobirama: WHAT THE FUCK

tobirama is not emotionally prepared for "marry," let alone "marry the uchiha clan heir from the future." she is so emotionally unprepared for this sentence she forgets to remember they probably wouldn't let a woman be hokage for at least a few decades. if anyone is going to have two jobs across two timelines, it's going to be tobirama---

#tobirama: YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO FLIRT WITH OTHER PEOPLE #kushina jr: so we're getting married!!!! #reborn au

[steel-peony]

🌻Brassius headcanons🌻 (companion post to this one, now with added imagery (a single screenshot but so worth it))

-In his mid-40s but refuses to accept it, which manifests in ways such as: pulling all-nighters like a young student, skipping/forgetting meals, continuing to make an impression on gym challengers by leaping from the tops of windmills, roofs, whatever's convenient. Any of these habits could break his fragile body. Speaking of which...

-He started doing the wild leaps in school as a cool stunt and way to show off and be memorable, but he has a private reason also — it's his way of defying death and mocking his illness. By gods he's going to live and not only that, he's going to do it in the most avant-garde way.

-tbh I haven't pinpointed exactly what is his chronic illness. Asthma? Hey wouldn't it be ironic if he has a severe pollen allergy while loving and being surrounded by plant pokemon? (just like me fr) Also I'm still on the idea a friend told me of him describing his symptoms as thorny vines in his lungs (which could be his creative way of describing a common asthma attack, and of course he styles his hair in the same manner because he's just Like That).

-Nature and the turns of seasons are his religion. He dabbled in paganism in his younger days. Found the modern practices too commercialized, but keeps it in his heart, in private.†

-Super pretty when he was younger. Wore his hair long, and with it being so thick and wavy, it cascaded about his (fuller, more lively) face and slender neck, even when he had it pulled into a ponytail. Stormy grey eyes always in deep contemplation of Art. Elegant ways of moving and speaking, radiating beauty with every step and word... honey what happened.

-(Nothing, it's all still there if you know what to look for and Hassel sure does, he is an expert on beauty, after all!)

-Hassel 💗💗 What a long, complex history he has with Hassel. They were good friends as students long ago, both being in arts & music classes. Brassius looked up to the multi-talented Hass from day one, always inspired by him and his bravery. Of course he fell in love with his muse, but for one reason or another, they never could quite be together, at least for very long. It might take Hassel until the present to reconcile his feelings, but will it be too late? (please I have a whole fic I want to write about this, of course I love them being Extremely Married but consider this: 20 years' worth of Mutual Gay Pining and the angst what follows)

-Just like born musician Hassel has some art in him, natural artist Brassius has some form of musical talent. After all, he's the Verdant Virtuoso — a term that skews toward musicians. I like to think he's got a good singing voice.* Belts out tunes while he's in the Art Zone. In perfect Spanish Paldean because he's bilingual.

-Whenever the mood strikes him (rarely, anymore), this guy can get a little kinky. He may carry a rope to help him climb high for tall sculptures (I guess???), but it also comes in handy for tying up unruly dragons~

-He's had many more partners in the past than Hassel has, and therefore a lot of practice. Not so much these days, however. His art, gym, and health come first.

-The Surrendering Sunflora Story: it's easy to tell that Brassius, at the beginning of his art career, let his personal vision suffer because he was focused on being more of a content creator, gaming that algorithm in endless pursuit of fame, fans, and money. The stress got to him, making his illness flare up to near-fatal levels. Was there anything else stressing him out at the time? Was he battling debilitating depression as well? Because he was prepared to die from it all — whether or not his debut work succeeded. And then Hassel appeared. "It was then I met Hass." So they must have become friends a little later in their student lives? Out of nowhere comes Hassel to remind Brassius of the meaning of Art, and that saves his life. Where's that meme picture of the creature holding onto a wall and going i think i need a moment wait

-It's p much universally accepted that Brassius gave Hassel the Applin that would evolve into the latter's Flapple. I think Brassie did so after the Surrendering Sunflora exhibition was complete to express his feelings. Unfortunately, Hassel, not being from this part of the world and unfamiliar with nearby Galar's customs, thinks it's simply a friendly gesture of appreciation. Hang in there, Brassie ❤️‍🩹

-Maybe once Hass figures it out he'll give Brassius a Dipplin in return. "There are two bodies sharing one sweet home! It's more symbolic than the Applin, right? Surely they know this in Galar...?" "No, Hass, Dipplin's apple is only found in a region that's very far away, so it doesn't have that kind of meaning..." "🥺🥺😭 B-BUT IT'S USSSS"

†Meta: isn't the Pokemon world inherently pagan? I know we like to throw around the name of Arceus and/or Mew as though they are God, but... they're not really? Do not let me get theological on this post about my grass blorbo hfhfhsh

*Look, his deep, deep Japanese voice did things to me, and learning that seiyuu Nakai Kazuya voiced Mugen of all people (and some other guys I guess, Zoro if you go there) amuses me to no end hhhn

#gym leader brassius #brassius #ephemeralartshipping #hassius #pokemon sv #pokemon scarlet and violet #please enjoy my brainrot #rotating them in my head 24/7 in between other paldeans haha

[shiveringgroovy]

bsd social media hcs who uses what/ what do their profiles look like

HELP oh my god. i'm gonna do the ADA and maybe later on the other organizations :3

Atsushi

got really into the internet after being picked up by the ada but lost interest in it after a while

probably browses tumblr casually and likes cat videos or things of that nature

dazai made him a twitter account that he never uses

basic/default account style, he's not flashy about it and doesn't care to personalize his account. if he did, his pfp would probably be a cat or a low quality chazuke pic

inat casual. just there to see cool animals (i headcanon him as a naturalist so hard nobody understands)

Dazai

twitter user and not ashamed. posts the stupidest shit and has like 20k tweets. probably didn't use socials at all until he left the port mafia but this guy is always tweeting

he's got some stupid ass layout like my priv twitter.

either 3 followers or 5k followers. no in between

has gotten sussed multiple times

Kunikida

HE'S AN EXPERT ON BRAINLY TRUST ME ON THIS

Casual reddit user and once did an "am i the asshole for punching the shit out of my coworker for being suicidal" and got put in one of those subway surfer text to speech things

and dazai found it, IMMEDIATELY recognized who it was, and would not let kunikida live it down

he's afraid to post anything now

same as atsushi, default settings

Yosano

not a big social media girlie!!

probably has instagram and posts stuff she likes on her story, only two posts on her profile

pfp is a picture of a butterfly with blood on its wings because it goes hard

Kyouka

LOVES the internet. specifically pinterest and the girlie side of tumblr (naomi introduced her)

pins are very aesthetically pleasing, she's got a nice following on pinterest for posting pics of her snacks from outings and such

let her be happy and girlie and full of whimsy she deserves it :3

Naomi

i'm tired of naomi slander. she's the victim of HORRIBLE writing and i hate asagiri for making a character that's otherwise a sweetheart into one unfunny "joke."

sorry rant over

she introduced kyouka to the internet and helped her set up a pinterest and tumblr (also warned her to stay off tumblr because shit gets icky QUICK)

same sort of stuff as kyouka, but likes posting her fit checks rather than food

Jun'ichiro

has a twitter, doesn't use it often

idk what to say about him i don't think he's into socials all that much

Ranpo

BRAINROTTED TUMBLR USER I SWEAR TO GOD. HE'S THE FUCKING WORST /affectionate

voted for sans

fairly popular on tumblr, has a picture of karl in a chip bag as his pfp

has insta only to follow yosano

pfp on insta is probably a cute picture of him and poe :)

Kenji

considers the mycelium network a social media

but yeah he has an inaturalist

identification GOD. like holy hell how did you guess the exact species and sex of that spider little farm boy

also another one of my naturalist headcanons except it's like?? basically canon idk

Haruno

you thought i was gonna forget a woman didn't you. no girlie left behind it's women's month

has the most aesthetically pleasing instagram ever

large following on insta, pinterest, and twitter

she's just a really positive person :)

shares pics from the agency that she thinks are cute

Fukuzawa

bro

what do i even say here

he has whatsapp that's fucking IT

#shiveringshitposts #shiveringstraydogs #shiveringthoughts #shiveringasks #bungo sd #bungo gay dogs #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #armed detective agency #dazai #yosano #kunikida #yosano akiko #bsd yosano #bungou stray dogs yosano #izumi kyouka #atsushi nakajima #bsd atsushi #bsd kunikida #kunikida doppo #bsd fukuzawa #fukuzawa yukichi #haruno bsd #kenji miyazawa #bsd kenji #ranpo #bsd ranpo #ranpo edogawa #bungou stray dogs ranpo

[tamiisnthere]

Once I was wondering what kinds of birds fly around sync points, so I did some research and compared the bird models to the species that lived in the places where each AC game takes place.

I used iNaturalist and eBird, which helped me compare individual bird species by region and appearance. Photo sources are below in the image. I wanted to put more photos, but Tumblr allows a maximum of 30 images per post.

I have to say that I'm not a bird/animal expert, just an animal enthusiast. I know populations of individual species were very different in the past than they are today.

You are welcome to correct me if I get anything wrong and If you know of any other species that I'm missing, please let me know. 💗

Here is the first model of an eagle/a hawk:

I decided to take screenshots of each bird so I could compare them, but this model actually appeared from AC1 to Liberation.

So here are some screenshots (sorry for the crappy quality):

AC1:

Fun Fact: In AC1 after synchronization, the eagle/hawk disappears permanently. Thankfully I didn't sync all the towers in Kingdom.

AC2:

AC Brotherhood:

AC Revelations:

AC3:

AC Liberation:

AC Regions:

AC1 - Middle East

AC2 and Brotherhood - Italy

AC Revelations - Istanbul, Turkey

AC3 - New York, New York State, US and Boston, Massachusetts, US

AC Liberation - New Orleans, Louisana, US and Yucatán, Mexico

Suggestions for AC1 & Ezio Trilogy:

Common buzzard (Buteo buteo)

This species is most common bird of prey in Eurasia (or has the most observations). It has several morphs.

Long-legged buzzard (Buteo rufinus)

This species has the most observations in Turkey. It can easily be mistaken for a common buzzard.

Suggestions for AC3 & Liberation:

Red-shouldered hawk (Buteo lineatus) - immature

This bird has the most observations in the southeastern part of the USA. The immature individual is more similar to the model because the adult has a more brown or reddish body.

Red-tailed hawk (Buteo jamaicensis)

The most common bird of prey in North America, which is also divided into subspecies and morphs.

Bald eagle (Haliaeetus leucocephalus) - immature

Juvenile bald eagles have similar coloration to the model, as adult plumage coloration appears at less than four years of age.

There is another model of the eagle/hawk from AC4:

It's the same model, only the texture is now different.

AC4 Screenshots:

AC4 Regions:

Caribbean - Cuba, Jamaica, Haiti, The Bahamas...

Florida, US

Suggestion:

Red-tailed hawk (Buteo jamaicensis)

This species most closely resembles the model and also lives in the Caribbean Islands.

And now it's another retextured model from AC Rogue:

AC Rogue Screenshots:

AC Rogue Regions:

North Atlantic

Nova Scotia, Canada

Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada

New York, New York State, US

Suggestion:

Bald eagle (Haliaeetus leucocephalus)

It's obvious, isn't it? :) Also bald eagle appeared in AC3 Cinematic Trailer.

Next thing is that AC Rogue has actually two models of the eagle (couldn't find this model in files). The second eagle model appears only in the intro and outro of the game and it's more realistic and detailed.

Despite that, AC Rogue ended in Paris, where bald eagles do not occur there. It's possible Shay owns one that flies with him (my new headcanon!).

Unfortunately, I couldn't find the eagle model in the files in AC Unity as well, so I don't have a showcase.

So here are only screenshots:

It's a new model this time and it looks a little more realistic, but is still low-poly.

AC Unity Regions:

France - Paris, Versailles and Saint-Denis

Suggestion:

Golden eagle (Aquila chrysaetos)

This eagle most closely resembles the model, even though golden eagles are mostly common in mountainous areas. Also it appeared in one of AC Unity Cinematic Trailers.

AC Syndicate is one of the AC games that doesn't have bird of prey on the sync point. Instead they have the rooks (Corvus frugilegus) in London.

Again, I couldn't find the model in the files, but according to the screenshot, the model is more low-poly than the first model of the eagle/hawk.

Bonus: Playable Birds

Since AC Origins, the protagonists have bird companions, thanks to which we can find targets and explore area more easily.

Also the developers confirmed species of them:

Senu - Bonelli's eagle (Aquila fasciata)

Ikaros - Golden eagle (Aquila chrysaetos)

Sýnin - Common raven (Corvus corax)

Enkidu - Eastern imperial eagle (Aquila heliaca)

#I started making this post in September but I lost motivation as always #writing Crossover Universe Lore gave me the motivation back to finish it #tamiisnthere's thought #Assassin's Creed #assassins creed #asscreed #ac #birds #bird #bird of prey #rook #animals #birds of prey #eagle #hawk #buzzard