#also cockles is real and are my babies so yeah

[cooloddball]

Back to the Jensen x JDM thing. I think Misha and JDM are not that close because when Misha came in, JDM had already left. I don't necessarily feel that it has anything to do with Jensen

i honestly don't know. i mean yeah i agree with you but i feel like maybe there's a bit of tension, maybe awkwardness between misha and jdm. as far as i know misha is close with most if not all of jensen's friends but he said he's not close with jdm and didn't say why exactly. i mean...i could be wrong

#asks #anon #j's daddy kink #jensen x jdm #also i'm not trying to stir up shit these are just my opinions #like i'm not saying it's facts so please don't come for me #or come either way that's how i feel #i love both misha and jdm and i knoe they mean so much to jensen in different ways #also cockles is real and are my babies so yeah

[hopefullystillatheatrestudent]

i'm so excited about you taking asks again ahhhh okay so. if you'd absolutely had to choose. what would be your top 5 cockles moments, and why? thank you ily <3

here’s the thing: there are so many routes i could go down with this, because cockles moments come in all shapes and sizes and formats. these include moments from their panels, their bloopers, the footage we get when they don’t even know they’re being recorded, stories being passed down from photo ops & autographs(one of my personal favorite ways to get cockles, tbh, because they’re all insane), and social media(tweets to each other, instagram posts & comments, etc.). 

SO! since many a list like this has already been made, and i want to stand out from the crowd, what i’m gonna do is definitively give the number one spot to each of these five categories.(i might even throw in honourable mentions because they’re so despicably in love that they warrant that. i really put my whole pussy into this, guys, i hope you’re happy.) 

disclaimer: these are my own personal opinions. but that also means i’m right. so. enjoy. 

number one: top cockles panel moment

so we’re starting off with a bang, because how do you even BEGIN to rank what atrocities jensen and misha commit at jibcon. every single one they’ve had is damning in it’s own right, for different reasons.

however, considering just how much unabashed fuckery they’ve given us to sift through, it’s a good thing i do have a personal favorite despite it all. it’s heartwarming, the sweetest thing i’ve ever seen, AND it’s jarringly cinematic - mainly because it has a whole ass arc to it that was years in the making. it might even be surprising to some people, but my favorite cockles panel moment, and what i consider the one that encompasses their entire gut-wrenching journey from 2008-2013 in the most sweepingly romantic gesture possible, is this one.

i want this burned into my retinas. i am not even joking. when i'm through with my explanation, let me convince you why this is thee most romantic cockles moment of all time.

first, some history: people call this the resume off, but many seem to forget the botched attempt at a resume off a year prior. and yes, you guessed it: it's during their break up. it's a juicy time period for a reason, guys. it came across as exceedingly one-sided and VERY awkward. let me refresh your memory as to just how bad it was, and just how hard jensen was trying and ultimately failing at winning misha over: the funniest part of the whole resume off in 2013??? every joke/bit had literally already been made/done. they were just going through the motions again, but the difference THIS time...is that misha reciprocated jensen's energy. it. is. fascinating. i want to get into it more detail in another post, and i'll link it here when i'm done, but the main takeaway, i think, and the main difference that showcases how much they've grown in a year, is that in jib 3, misha flat out refused to do an accent, and this time around, he indulges jensen for literal minutes. when i tell you they're crazy, they're crazy. i can't wait to actually dive into it later.

ANYWAY, the resume off culminates in this moment here. and, like, a million things happen in this gifset. actually, more like a million and one. the music starts playingneediremindyouthatthesongissingingintherain(h e l p), misha starts dancing, jensen 'perpetually fake grumpy' ackles lets misha think he's not going to join, misha sits down defeated, but no!!! that was jensen's plan all along(look at his stupid fucking smirk) and he offers his arm to his dance partner who immediately grins like a fool, jensen then leads misha into their kick step, they perfectly synchronise and let loose, and are then very clearly having the time of their lives, hanging off of each other with joy and ease. from their expressions alone i can tell that this moment is so. so. so. so! much more than what initially meets the eye. i mean-misha is fighting back the biggest smile i've ever seen. to me, it reads like jensen is offering something to misha, something that misha kind of gave up on expecting, and him offering his arm like that is like, a surprise to him in the best possible way(and it's so not platonic, let me just say that.) as soon as jensen did that, it ushered in a new era of cockles. this panel is jensen and misha's favourite for a reason, and i think this moment is the biggest clue as to why.

whew!!! ok. that took a lot out of me and that was only point one. moving on,

number two: top cockles blooper moment

cockles bloopers hold an extremely special place in my heart, because it shows just how fucking disastrous jensen and misha are. they are so goddamn infatuated with each other that they HOLD UP PRODUCTION ALL THE TIME TO FLIRT WITH EACH OTHER(???). let me repeat. let it sink in. jensen ackles; arguably one of the most professional actors on that show who puts everything he has into each scene, with mountains and mountains of notes to prove it: would rather hold up production to flirt with misha collins. this sounds fake. it's not. he does it. all. the. time. and here's the thing guys!!! i'm gonna let you in on a secret!!! misha loves it. he loveesssss it. on top of that-misha collins: overlooked because he's pranked and people assume he's unprofessional as well, but his only pranks are in retaliation/off-set, and he rarely if EVER causes problems if he can help it....lets himself get carried away when it comes to jensen making kissy faces at him!!! are you actually kidding me!!! i mean. misha. it's just a face. you've seen it a million times. i don't buy that it triggers something in you that strongly....you like it, and you like jensen's reaction. you can't fool me!!! lisa berry's face in that one gifset shows just how fed up the crew is with their gross, coupley boyfriend antics.

i could pull up so many examples. sooooooo many. but my favourite was sealed since the moment i saw it.

i actually already wrote an analysis on it but i can't find it :(((( which SUCKS because i really unpacked the whole thing. i'll try to summarise.

basically, a backstory is part of this too!!! jensen and misha both had a really really hard time with this scene(because it's explicitly romantic there i said it), they sat down for hours and poured over their scripts together, they were super super nervous going into filming, both of them, jensen especially, were super hard on themselves for their performances not being true to their characters but they both complimented the other's work(boyfriend moments fr). so, yeah. they weren't confident going into shooting. and how do they get themselves to feel better???? by cuddling each other, apparently.

a lot. a LOT. happens in this specific blooper. to the point that i saw it years before i knew about cockles and it raised all sorts of flags for me.

1) stop pulling my face towards your crotch(as a thinly veiled request that misha would, in fact, move jensen's face towards his crotch, considering it was jensen moving himself there in the first place. also, why so comfy down there guys???) 2) you're my baby daddy i know(in the most intimate voice i've ever heard please) 3) i know, i know, i love you too i didn't say i love you i know but you wanted to say it etc. misha's right, of course. that's what jensen meant.

it just reeks of comfort, familiarity and intimacy between the two, and it's a moment that is extremely sweet and silly at the same time. they're so <3

number three: top cockles found footage moment

WONDERFUL category. truly the culmination of the cockles experience. many people have said that shipping cockles doesn't work because 'they're just onstage you dummies!! they're playing it up for the audience!!!' here's the thing, love. i could not disagree with you more. once you climb your way up the cockles ladder, you soon learn that they are, in fact, playing their dynamic DOWN, not up. they really are just Like That™, and they could not care less about the paying audience, if we're being honest, considering how much time they take to giggle with each other and refuse to let the audience in on the joke. and i love them for it <3

anyway, my point is that this category is for all you naysayers out there, all you 'jensen and misha's relationship is just for show and is real life queerbaiting'(?????lordhelp???) oh yeah? ok, explain this.

he. he. he calls jensen sweetheart. literally enough said. there's nothing to really add here, except, misha and jared then immediately engage in damage control. jared's method is distraction and misha's is retconning('get out of the car, dude') this was what got me to buy into the cockles dumpster for GOOD good. you don't call your buddy sweetheart accidentally and sound so completely earnest while doing it! especially not when that buddy is jensen ackles!!! you think he would let any of his friends call him that? do you?

one more thing; if it was a slip of the tongue, little mouth thing or whatever, you think jared wouldn't have jumped on it immediately??? i can hear it now. 'did you just call him SWEETHEART???' yeah. that's what i thought. you know why he didn't? because it was too revealing.

number four: top cockles autograph moment

i mean, i think we all know what it's gonna be, and if you don't, well, do i have the piece de cockles resistance that is gonna send you over the edge.

if you haven't heard of this story by now, as a cockles, truther, i'm gonna go ahead and get you to read it, because there is no possible heterosexual explanation for any of it, and you're fooling yourself if you think otherwise.

spoiler alert: it's the story where phones weren't allowed in an auto session, jensen nuzzles himself in misha's hair, leans his full body weight onto him, holds his hand, etc. etc. i'm imploding just repeating this back, actually. also, just, the sheer amount of stories from photo ops where they tackle hug each other or slap each other's asses or sing romantic songs to each other or almost kiss is, frankly, a lot. if i could wish for anything, it would be to witness them in person.

and finally,

number five: top cockles social media moment

this one is super difficult, because there's obviously a lot to choose from. but you know what? full send, i'm going with this one:

i just. what to say about this. how often do misha and jensen watch sunsets together for it to qualify as ‘always’ ??? why are sunsets synonymous with their relationship??? that’s like??? a very romantic thing????? ‘this guy’??? the fact that it’s a CANDID??? i don’t know guys.

that could have been better but i am TIRED so. there you go rose ily

#cockles #cockles ask #liz answers #i really just. spend hours. writing about misha and his boyfriend. #why. why do i. do that #long post for ts

[theyarebothgunshot]

this is exactly how it went down in my head.

misha: hey, everything okay? do you need me to do something?

jensen: no, lay low. we’re figuring it out.

misha: got it.

— the next day —

misha: things settled. should i say anything? draw attention? stay neutral?

jensen: you don’t have to, but if you want, tread lightly. we’ve had enough chaos.

misha: say no more.

when nobody got your back you KNOW dmitri got your back.

ANYWAYS i turned my back for TWO MINUTES and y'all went the fuck off in my inbox so, you know the drill: more under the cut

NO BUT JENSEN’S RESPONSE LMAAAAAO honestly fallout theory is so on oh my God I can’t stop-

on god they are so loud like-

Worst damage control i've ever seen. god bles.

so true bestie

I think Jensen probably just wants to be done with this petty little drama, so if he has to pretend everything between them is okay he is going to be the bigger man and lay it to rest. Whatever is going on between them he definitely doesn't want to sort that out on social media and the earlier he pretends everything is sorted out the earlier people will forget about it again.

Also it's kinda funny how J*red Tweet was like implying they had a misunderstanding but still talk to each other regularly, while Jensen went full on the we grow apart a little bit, because we were busy, let's catch back up. Makes me wonder if they actually talked or if there managers just said hey that's not good pr, let's put that to rest. Also did J*red know before yesterday that they had a falling out or did he just not realize.

- 🐌 anon

literally jensen went out of his way to say 'uhhh we never talk, worstie' god if pr management is involved then they did a bad job. also j*red still does not realise they have fallen out. jshfjdsfh

Jackles was like God bless but we ain’t talking like this worstie

good for her.gif

csdsc heeft gevraagd:

All I need now is for Misha to tweet “ is it safe to come out now?” And I’ll be complete lmfao 😂😂😂

that would have been better than what we got lmfao

I have one fear and it's Jensen being forced to add j*red to his show and his other projects because he couldn't stop whining like a baby,,, ugh i hate him

i pretend i do not see

Kinda selfish of me tbh but i don't want them to be "friends" again, Jensen sweetie run as fast as you can

co-signed

Ok Jensen's answer to Jared tweet made me feel so bad for him. Like, I can see it's damage control and public relations (obviously) but there's stuff behind it. I can't name it, but idk, I felt terrible for texas man this time, I don't think that reply was written with a "love and light energy" or even without much care. I felt some heavy vibes.

- 🌻, who is now a fortune teller and a prophet apparently

yeah i feel hella bad for him to, for having to deal with this shit. nonnie please if you ever have anything to predict, lemme know sjdfhs

You know Jensen's tweet has the energy of like kindergarten wenn an other kid started a fight with you and the kindergarten teacher wants you to forgive each other and hung it out and you really don't want to, but your kindergarten teacher is being annoying and he isn't worth the annoyance either.

- 🐌 anon

you are not wrong

Incredibly thankful that I have the day off from work 😂 I'm with hatching chick anon, the 3 dots read as passive aggressive/insincere to me, and I love it! I haven't spent this many hours on tumblr since I first discovered cockles! (On a side note, the lack of fimmf posts today has me feeling like it's not friday lol) -🐢

i, too, miss fimmf but alas things happen, they do they do they do

I was right. :(

It got almost romantic...

👀

nonnie you know i love you but this is really not the case, like, at all??? idk how you could look at those tweets and think it was almost romantic. it was THEE most scripted, pr bullshit ever. it was staged and fake. idk what else to tell ya

Danneel liked Jensen's tweet

i saw

That is so so awkward I feel so sorry for all of us being exposed to this and so happy I chose to leave the Internet for half a day - tea anon

god bless your stance on that cause i would have hated missing out on this lmao

You know what? I think it’s okay being a 38 year old moron if you’re bringing us this type of content

im happy with the food but still think its not okay tbh

pspspsps Misha this is the perfect day for you to drop the gay Cas essay pspspspsp it is still pride month pspspsps

you know you want to king pspsps

So that JIB6 link (I think it was from your post, right?). I went and watched that bit, and a little more.

Jensen makes a comment about Jared being first on the call sheet because Sam was supposed to be the main focal character.

And that him nor Misha cared about what number they were, so in all that time it never changed.

And I’ll be… if that just doesn’t perfectly sum them up and their feelings on things. And how a certain someone can be petty… 🦚

idk if it was from my post? but maybe? my analysis probably? but yeah things are making more and more sense huh

Ohh that's also an alien? Welcome to the extraterrestial family then, purple alien anon!

Also it's probably because I'm coming off the high this drama gave me but I'm not looking forward to them trying so hard to convince us everything is normal between them. Even though we now Know, they will have to keep pretending. Today (yesterday?) was a shitshow but some masks fell off, at least for a moment and I kinda wish Jensen was less professional 😂

👽

oh for real, fallout theory IS confirmed and nothing they said today will change my mind, it only made me believe in it even more lmfao and with that in mind i am just gonna sip my tea if they try to be buddy buddy on main again

I THINK MISHA UNRETWEETED BUT HE TWEETED "LOVE AND MISS YOU BOTH" I'M LOSING MY DIGNITY HERE - tea anon

yeah he now answered them sjdfhsjfhsf instead of rt

MISHA COLLINS IS A KING I STAN THE RIGHT MAN

YOU SURE DO

I just know Misha’s process was oh crap I have to let people know I’m supporting them and I can’t choose sides. Ok. Retweet. NO. Delete. I love both of you. Yes, good.

sjdfsdfh this makes me think of that post that dissected jackles' birthday post for misha where he used the heart. 'call him bro, that makes it less obvious. nailed it.'

Lol I'm off for a few days and come back to total chaos... God I missed it here

Like the "et tu... #bravo" tweet? Made my day! Frikking hilarious (every time I see it I picture J*red with a pissy frech accent saying it out loud lol) it's just such an incredibly petty hissy fit he threw (I know he tweeted more later on but... Really all that stuff coming afterwards just sounds like damage control)

Missed you Rose

-🐻

LOVE the french accent detail im gonna do this too sdjfhsjfh missed you toooo!!!!

Oh man Misha is really gonna get hate for that I KNOW IT

sigh well. nothing he isnt used to by now, unfortunately

i mean i believe they feel like brothers, but constantly falling back on the “brother” thing to keep up appearances is really starting to feel like “#spnfamily” at this point.

honestly brothers can be very annoying, or so i have heard, so it fits with the fallout theory lmao

They actually said if we’re gonna make this gay we cannot have Jar*d Pad*lecki involved

oh my God this is the funniest timeline to ever exist God bless I’m just waiting to canon bi Mary

king shit tbh

#snail anon #csdsc #sunflower anon #turtle anon #eyes anon #tea anon #peacock anon #alien anon #bear anon #THAT WAS A LOT #anyways next time im just gonna spam you all fsfsgdsgd

[ugh-againwiththenames]

So Many Fanfics So Little Time

This is just my list, I have seen so many (but if you want to use it it’s all yours too!).  I’m not a writer.  But I am a hell of a reader. Voracious one might argue. I just wanted to track my progress through the weeds of the absolutely never ending supply of Destiel and Cockles fanfic. 

Read on if you want to see what I’ve read, and what I’ve thought. I am but one person with opinions - some of them may be unpopular - some of them you might agree with, but if you find something you haven’t read here, I encourage you to do so. 

Honestly, this is just so I can track what I have read already, and when my friends ask, I can reference something easily. I have found some different fics on all kinds of ‘best of’ lists all over the interwebs. And I love recs - so rec away friends. 

As someone who reads a solid 40 novels a year typically, I don’t come by the “I read a lot” innocently. I do actually read a LOT.  When not reading fanfic (a new obsession, all things being fair), I usually read a lot of Fantasy/high fantasy, romance/erotica, and or YA (yeah, that was a bit of a ride no?).  So from this one might digress that I like fluffy, cute stories, complicated and supernatural/paranormal type stories, and I sure do not shy away from violence or smut (or maybe violence with smut? *smirk*). 

I have read all of these in the last 2-3 months (I will continue to add as I go). I had never read a fanfic until 2-3 months ago.  A lot of these wonderful people are on here, and I mean you no offence by not directly tagging you - I’m still learning how to actually properly use this site. Links to AO3 are included (and I love you all). 

These aren’t necessarily in any real order - I did read T&S first, followed by 91W, and 4LW...after that it’s just a shit show of Long or Short, Destiel or Cockles - smorgasbord. Some of these are the most popular Fics out there, and others I’ve never seen recc’d anywhere (just sort of accidentally happened upon them).  So let’s get to it, shall we? 

Twist and Shout - ok look. I understand the stigma associated with this one, but it was the FIRST one I read. It was the ball that shot me down the hill, and I haven’t stopped since. So. I loved it. I CRIED like a baby. SOBBED. It was not the quality of the writing but the way the story was developed and delivered. I have Never Cried Like This Reading a Story IN MY LIFE. It’s a rite of passage. Read It and have an opinion - it doesn’t need to be mine.  

Author(s): gabriel, standbyme   https://archiveofourown.org/works/537876/chapters/955188

Ninety-One Whiskey - aka 91W, it is mentioned so much, and is SO worth the read.  I continued my dive into the war fics (not typically my bag really and here I was reading 2 in a row).  There are a couple of followup stories as well to this series (and yes, I’ve read them all).  Although I’ll say that the original is my favourite. I often got lost in a bit of the War/Tactical descriptions, but would recommend it to anyone anyway. Ugh...the “stolen moments”...they were at the same time tragic and the most amazing things ever.  You feel me? no? go read it. 

Author:  komodobits   https://archiveofourown.org/works/2362190/chapters/5214500

Four Letter Word for Intercourse - aka 4LW.  OMG just, OMG. I loved this story. I loved it so much. I think I read it in a day.  Devoured it. It’s so HOT. Just read it. If you haven’t you’re missing out.  LEMME AT IT. I loved “knowing the secret”, and had some major anxiety about that realization dawning (I had to take a breath, and be like, no, no, this is gonna be a mess, but it’s gonna be SO GOOD - I was not disappointed).  There’s more than one work here too - read them all. PLEASE. 

Author: bendingsignpost  https://archiveofourown.org/works/16086839/chapters/37568591

Memories Bring Back Memories (Bring Back You) - This was the first Sobs one I read, but it sent me on a spree.  this is the Memory Loss one.  I have one piece of advice here - read everything by Sobsicles. You can thank me later...just go to her page, and fucking sort to supernatural (or not, read it all!) I’d list them but I’d fucking seriously be here all day.  Also, her tags make me laugh so hard.

Author:  sobsicles https://archiveofourown.org/works/24022945/chapters/57796885

Orpheus - I love this one too, Tattooed!Cas, my LOVE. paired with Mechanic!Dean, my HEART, #help.  Read this one in one evening as well. (I was on a roll).  It’s a one night stand that turns into more (much like my last relationship)....hmm...maybe this is why I was pulled in - although to be fair that is the last similarity to my shitty love life! I do not remember how I stumbled onto this one (tattooed Cas may have been the draw...tbh). Read the warnings though, there is some triggering stuff in this one - but if you can handle it, it’s definitely worth the read. 

Author: sysrae       https://archiveofourown.org/works/2364347/chapters/5220227

Have Love, Will Travel - Can you say no to Stripper!Dean? Cause I sure as hell cannot. Typical sort of character development here with Dean having trust issues, and Cas being painfully awkward...(but in like a super cute way?).  Would Recommend. 

Author: squeemonster   https://archiveofourown.org/works/565455/chapters/1011747

The Inexhaustible Silence of Houses - Change of pace here...It’s got a nice twist.  I didn’t actually clue into how it was going to end until very near the end (maybe I was being oblivious), when the realization came over me and I was...man. I was DONE IN.  I hope that doesn’t spoil (I need some kind of way of remembering them). Voiceless!Cas Hunter!Dean

Author: Askance (doomcountry)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/560268/chapters/1000755

Adagio - This is super short, and super cute. Honestly, I would read the whole thing just for the last line. It’ll take you less than an hour if I remember correctly. Go, I’ll wait. I squeeed. did you? 

Author: noangelsinthegarrison   https://archiveofourown.org/works/1397248/chapters/2928145

Any Little Heartache - super easy read (not in a bad way, but in a ‘you’ll fly through it’ way).  It’s mid-length, not graphic, but really fun hospital AU. HeartSurgeon!Dean / Nurse!Cas - enemies to lovers anyone? Fuck you to Fuck me? yeah. YUM. 

Author: followthattardis https://archiveofourown.org/works/5143376/chapters/11838311

Ad Astra - This is another short(ish) one, just one chapter.  And by that I mean that this is written like a very long poem. Cas as a star who has visited Dean many times over the years of his life, that culminates in 4x01 barn scene. It’s ‘awe’ sad. ‘puppy dog eyes’ sad. The writing format took me a bit to understand what was happening - it’s my lack of poetry knowledge, not the writing.  

Author: nhixxie https://archiveofourown.org/works/1013491

Ad Astra Per Aspera - This is a cute story.  ESL writer, no judgement.  I found this while looking for the one above, and thought the premise looked cute - and it was. Misunderstanding leading to Dean realizing he’s actually Bi.  Miscommunication leading to realization.  

Author: Riverchester https://archiveofourown.org/works/12354336/chapters/28101816

Psalm 40:2 - Time travel post-canon Cas and Pre-series Dean.  If you’re wondering how that works, strap in for this ride, it’s well worth it. 

Author: unicornpoe https://archiveofourown.org/works/30786425/chapters/75992444

Addicted to You - Warlock!Dean/Incubus!Cas - accidental ‘mating’ (I actually really don’t like that word, but there’s sort of no avoiding it in this situation). Cute story.  When you drunk dial a succubus and get an incubus instead...Whatever will we do? 

Author: Ltleflrt https://archiveofourown.org/works/4387346/chapters/9959288 

A Glimpse Beyond - End Fix-it. Not yet complete, 10 chapters so far...I want MORE! Reliving memories Dean/Cas & Sam/Eileen.   

Author: NorthernSparrow https://archiveofourown.org/works/27731689/chapters/67875925

Cas-ti-el - Please I want more...It’s like the story just started. Please write more of this story!! 1 chapter, it’s a trope prompt challenge, but I want it to be a full on story of its own. Imprinted names of their soul mates, Dean doesn’t understand his (because it’s in a different language)...I’m frustrated by wanting this story to keep going. 

Author:  Valinde (Valyria)  https://archiveofourown.org/works/1941591

Our Bodies, Posessed by Light - another short one. Not going to lie, this one took a little getting used to, and I can’t say that I enjoyed it too much for the sole purpose that the premise gave me the willies.  Cas has to vessel jump - ends up in Sam...I got through it, it had a good ending, but yeah, sorry. This just wasn’t for me. 

Author:  obstinatrix  https://archiveofourown.org/works/260289

Peanut Butter Pumpkin Wedding Cake - Waiter!Dean / Writer!Cas - This is so effing cute, just misunderstanding after misunderstanding bumbling around like the couple of dorks that they are. It’s only one chapter. 100% would recommend. 

Author:  Sparseparsley https://archiveofourown.org/works/223962

Destiel, Actually - This is another super cute story, 5 chapters. Gabriel playing a singular role in putting Dean and Cas in awkward positions to push them together.  I fucking DIED at “oh, I am the sub” - needs context, but I guarantee you that you’ll laugh out loud...

Author:  Bexism  https://archiveofourown.org/works/399934/chapters/658398

The Smell Before the Rain - This was my first A/B/O - a big apology to all those who are into mpreg and whatnot, this was my lesson that I am not. this was not for me. Also - I’m a firm Cas (Alpha/Dom) believer, and i’m good with switch Cas, but it’s hard for me to take him being the full Omega here, when paired with the rest I just couldn’t do it. I finished it, but, not my thing. I know now. 

Author: jscribbles https://archiveofourown.org/works/22355230/chapters/53406127

Crazy Diamonds - This is another short one, only 3 chapters - it’s a body swap for Dean, 4x02 him and 2018 him swap places (assumption that 2018 him is “with” Cas).  It’s a super cute little story. 

Author:  pantheon_of_discord https://archiveofourown.org/works/16151642/chapters/37738631

The Breath of All Things - Wheelchair!Dean / Volunteer!Cas.  This is a lovely story, typical Dean self-hatred etc. Triggering for those with suicide warnings. It had me in tears at the end. There’s a really spectacular quote near the end that I found so romantic I screen grabbed it. 

Author:  KismetJeska https://archiveofourown.org/works/994750/chapters/1967519

Kind of a Forever Deal - SummerCamp!AU This is just a really cute and fluffy summer camp AU.  Which is so different from 91W (That’s right, check the author)! I was a little disappointed with the ending, but otherwise really enjoyed this all the way through and was loving all the discovery and young characterizations of all the characters. 

Author: komodobits https://archiveofourown.org/works/999291/chapters/1978478

Everytown, USA - Best way I can break this one down? Wanderer!Dean (listless and without a place in the world, he ends up in a small town...), Twin!Cas (that leads to some fun things). There are a number of points where you’re gonna yell at Dean for doing stupid shit (that are very much in character for him to do), you think, well, yes, obviously you’re going to do that you silly fucking boy [affectionate]; but whyyy? (but we know). 

Author: aileenrose https://archiveofourown.org/works/1797559/chapters/3854836

Chalk and Chainmail - HighSchool!AU, Cas is an artist, Dean LARP’s - it’s cute and angsty. 

Author:  lemonsorbae https://archiveofourown.org/works/804704/chapters/1517551

A Little Patience - Ok. you want smut? This is your story. You want Kink? This is your story.  I actually did not finish this. It got a little carried away in my opinion. It was VERY panty kink oriented (which, while essentially canon isn’t really my kink) so, if you want that Panty Kink on full display? Go forth and enjoy! it  is thirty something chapters, I got to the mid-twenties I Think. 

Author: riseofthefallenone https://archiveofourown.org/works/1750058/chapters/3739232

Control - I REALLY ENJOYED THIS. Which is saying a lot for someone who has already admitted that a Subby Cas isn’t really my HC - so to so thoroughly enjoy a Sub!Cas story? (maybe it’s the tattooes...*wink*). It’s an AU where Cas is the head of a company - Dean is a callboy I guess, for lack of a better term. Just read it.

Author: dothraki_shieldmaiden  https://archiveofourown.org/works/31156601/chapters/76993217

More (I copy pasted the next lot from my google doc, I’ll flush them out later - no i wont...)

Teach Me (short) - movie night in the bunker, things get a little carried away   Author:  Chiyume  https://archiveofourown.org/works/5961327

You Light the Spark (in my bonfire heart) (short) - when cas doesn't realize that dean is unaware of his feelings, super short, super cute                      Author: noangelsinthegarrison https://archiveofourown.org/works/1193910 

Communication Breakdown (short/cockles) - dean ends up in Jensen's head while he films the confession scene, no sexual content Author: jujubiest   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29669601/chapters/72951339

Look What You Made Me Do (short/cockles) -      -  Vegas Con 2020 / jensen comes out with a song     - cute short - no sexual content Author:  green_blue_heller https://archiveofourown.org/works/30251592 Full House (short/cockles) - reimagined version of the rented house story - putting it in order (so to speak). funny / cute / fluffy not explicit   Author: n_nami  https://archiveofourown.org/works/30855827

Cyber Sex (short/cockles) - anastiel https://archiveofourown.org/works/31467086      - shameless post GISH Fest zoom call porn      - Short (very short)

It's Complicated (cockles) - gail_morgan https://archiveofourown.org/works/31434938/chapters/77747519       The GISHtake (short/cockles) - MellyCrazyCoconut https://archiveofourown.org/works/31508099     - cute short post GISH zoom     - oops "babe, really?"  

(10.02.2021 updated) Since last update: New reads - Fuck i’m gonna be here all day - there’s not gonna be as much gonna be NO detail in these breakdowns...sorry! This has now just become a “what i’ve read list” as opposed to a Rec list...

Love, All Alike (Pt. 1 Love, All Alike) - Phantoms_and_Foxgloves   https://archiveofourown.org/works/4555599/chapters/10370646                             - Though The Stars Walk Backward (pt 2 Love, All alike) - Phantoms_and_Foxgloves

And this, your living kiss - opal_bullets   https://archiveofourown.org/works/18083927/chapters/42744872

Come On, Let's Strike a Match (Domination and Submission: a love story pt 1) - anyrei & queerwerewolf ***   https://archiveofourown.org/works/25722478/chapters/62458810    - Playing With Fire (D&S: a love story pt 2)    - We Kiss and the Flames Get Higher (D&S: a love story pt 3)     - Sparking That Old Flame (D&S: a love story pt 4) 

Cinderwings - bendingsignpost Cinderella!AU**   https://archiveofourown.org/works/12847041/chapters/29336421

Linden - fleeceframe Swan!AU**   https://archiveofourown.org/works/33126730/chapters/82236118

No Netflix, No Chill (short) - dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/28764966

Can't Drink You Away (short) - dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/28785792 

Jensen Totally (Does Not!) Snore (short RPF) - Dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/30315717

Dean Ships It (short) - dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/30349434

All about control - wingless   https://archiveofourown.org/works/9151930/chapters/20791243

Aesthetics in Autoerotica (pt 1 Aesthetics in Autoerotica) - relucant   https://archiveofourown.org/works/3885544                                                             - The Ties that Bind (pt 2 Aesthetics in Autoerotica) - relucant

Let's take a drive - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32581027/chapters/80819581 

Enchanted ink - castielslostwings TattooArtist!Dean TattooArtist!Castiel AU ***   https://archiveofourown.org/works/23043622/chapters/55109530

The bones beneath our skin - darknessbound   https://archiveofourown.org/works/24633754/chapters/59515804

The Plot (RPF) - Castiel_Left_His_Mark_On_Me   https://archiveofourown.org/works/2795588/chapters/6274970

The Gentle Force with which you Take Me (RPF) - Phoenix_Ascended   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32110120/chapters/79549183

According to all known laws of Life (Pt. 1 Cursed Metaphors) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29207901                                                          - and he's back (with a mind of his own) (pt. 2 Cursed Metaphors) - sobsicles

Six hundred sundays (and many more) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31158776

Aching in the Absence of you - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31832977/chapters/78811378

gorging myself on you, still can’t get full (insatiable) (Short) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32203291

memories bring back memories (bring back you) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/24022945/chapters/57796885

Dream Come True (short) - bendingsignpost   https://archiveofourown.org/works/28071159

tall grass - aeli_kindara   https://archiveofourown.org/works/13127040/chapters/30030726

asunder (Short) - rageprufrock https://archiveofourown.org/works/62115

Apheresis - bendingsignpost BloodDonor!AU **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32674783/chapters/81056680

we always were but never knew it - frightfullyrude   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32698324/chapters/81119503

In this Louisiana Bar (Short) - fleeceframe   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31764487

The Hitchhiker's Guide to Alternate Universes - n_nami   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32687929/chapters/81092785

my heart a compass - lagaudiere https://archiveofourown.org/works/28629951

Unsound Inverses - sp8ce (not complete)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29836881/chapters/73413300

The Jensen Mistake (RPFish) - fellshish   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31950169

tell me about the dream (Pt. 1 Kids are coming home) - playedwright   https://archiveofourown.org/works/27984813/chapters/68544450

It's handy to know (FIMMF Themed ;)) - RosaMarloes   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31761322

So Says The Sword - komodobits AngelTrueform!AU**   https://archiveofourown.org/works/12597892/chapters/28695592

Communication Breakdown (RPFish)- darkshrimpemotions (jujubiest)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29669601/chapters/72951339

Carry You Home - Casloveshisfreckles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/26982637/chapters/65862916

In the Shadow of your Wings - Enochian Things (Salr323)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/7531294/chapters/17121655

When Harry Met Sally (RPF) (Pt. 1 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood   https://archiveofourown.org/works/7622347/chapters/17351845    - Eight Dildos (RPF) (Pt. 2 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood    - Attention, Please (RPF) (Pt. 3 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood             - Boat Trip (RPF) (Pt. 4 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood

A Winter's Tale - NorthernSparrow   https://archiveofourown.org/works/2654327/chapters/5930561

A Close Shave - NorthernSparrow https://archiveofourown.org/works/3090167

r/supernatural - renrub (short) https://archiveofourown.org/works/27626783

sam reads destiel fics - rebshome (short - funny!)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/33721624

Angel Cookies - noxsoulmate Chirstmas!AU **  https://archiveofourown.org/works/11729640/chapters/26427765

Under The Midnight Sun - NorthernSparrow Arctic!AU **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/16690645/chapters/39143677

Bron-Yr-Aur - mrbluesky (Short) https://archiveofourown.org/works/28225335

The Dean Winchester Beat Sheet - saltyfeathers   https://archiveofourown.org/works/19258594/chapters/45800209

The Meaning On My Skin - saltnhalo   https://archiveofourown.org/works/18005378/chapters/42538133

Red Right Hand (Pt. 1 Murder Ballads)  - Duckyboos   https://archiveofourown.org/works/4306110/chapters/9760008    - Are you the One that I've been waiting for? (pt. 2 Murder Ballads) - Duckyboos   

Riptides - sharkfish   https://archiveofourown.org/works/13230426/chapters/30263556

Damn Fine Ride - Cimorene105 (pt 1 - rodeo) Cowboy!AU** (I’m a horse girl, sue me...)  https://archiveofourown.org/works/14342340    - My Face Just Does This, Sometimes - Cimorene105 (pt. 2 rodeo)    - The Kinkiest Thing I've Ever Done- Cimorene105 (pt 3 rodeo)    - All Signs Point to Love - Cimorene105 (pt. 4 rodeo)    - Monster Love - Cimorene105 (pt. 5 rodeo)    - My Man, The Siren - Cimorene105 (pt. 6 rodeo)    - A Pain in My Ass - Cimorene105 (pt. 7 rodeo)

Astrolabe (terra incognita pt 1) - reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent   https://archiveofourown.org/works/3348812/chapters/7326794    - Drollery (terra incognita pt 2) - reluctantabandon Winter_of_our_Discontent    - Rubrication (terra incognita pt 3) - reluctantabandon Winter_of_our_Discontent

Go Down With This Ship - PorcupineGirl   https://archiveofourown.org/works/8023642/chapters/18370474

Fire and Ice - Castielslostwings (Firefighter/Paramedic AU!) **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/23286295/chapters/55768486

The Structural Similarities of Hunters and Onions - Faster_Than_the_Speed_of_Sound (Short)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/33383101

Castiel Novak's Office, This is Dean - emmbrancsxx0   https://archiveofourown.org/works/22411336/chapters/53545840

Out of the Deep (out of the deep pt. 1) - riseofthefallenone - MERMAID AU! **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/548878/chapters/977676

Dean (and Cas') Top 13 Zepp Traxx - pantheon_of_discord   https://archiveofourown.org/works/10909440/chapters/24256989

I'll Be Good - LittleAngelCassie   https://archiveofourown.org/works/4118334/chapters/9282234

Kenosis - CastielsCarma (Short - part of Destiel ABC collection)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/30411720

#fics #fic recs #fanfiction #ao3 #cockles #destiel #dean and cas #jensen and misha #one track mind #supernatural #please send me recs #read more fics #this is my new obsession

[green-blue-heller]

Hi!! How about a one shot with first person narrative, with Jensen thinking about the video posted yesterday by Darius (jealousy?) And also the video posted by Misha (butterflies in the stomach!)? Write this story, please! 😁

Ohhh! Thanks for being so patient while waiting for this! I absolutely loved writing it. Though, as I told you, I did struggle a little because first person isn’t my strong suit, but I love a good challenge! 

Hope you love it. 

Because it is Cockles RPF, I put it under the break. :) 

******

Title: Green with Jealousy (Read on AO3)

Cockles RPF

Words: 2174

I hadn’t meant to slam my phone down as hard as I did, and when Danneel looked up at me from across the room, one eyebrow raised, I gave a sheepish smile.

“Sorry.” My voice was low as I muttered, trying to keep my annoyance from my wife. But she knew me all too well.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her expression go soft as she put down the security monitor she had been using to keep an eye on Arrow and J.J. as they played in the twins’ room. Guilt consumed me as I watched her make her way over.

The last thing I wanted to do was let her know how stupid I was acting, but she knew me too long for me to be able to hide anything from her. That was why I didn’t even try anymore.

“What’s wrong, Jensen?” She wrapped her arms around me and rested her head on my shoulder. 

I grunted, not sure how to answer her. The truth was, I wasn’t even sure what exactly it was that was bothering me. There was no reason for it. It was just this feeling that I couldn’t put a name to, that slowly started to wrap itself tight in my chest.

Or, rather, a feeling I didn’t want to put a name to.

But when I didn’t say anything, Danni turned her head and softly kissed my cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned into her touch.

And fell for her trap. 

I was distracted, only for a moment, but it was enough for her to reach out and swipe my phone from the countertop.

“Danni.” I hadn’t meant for it to come out in a low growl, but it just made her chuckle as she put in my pin and unlocked my phone.

And I was helpless to do anything other than hang my head, as I knew what she was 

going to find.

It only took a few seconds before the sound of Misha’s voice hit me like a freight train. It immediately sent shivers down my spine as I recalled what it was like to have him next to me, whispering in my ear. 

“Aw, love.” Her voice was so soft, I almost didn’t even hear her speak. But I felt the love she had for me as she wrapped her arm around me again and kissed the top of my head, as she continued to watch the video. “I know you miss him,” she continued, trying to tame the beast she knew I could be whenever I was reminded how I was missing the other piece of my heart, “but you’ll see him soon.”

I nod, not trusting my voice as I ran a hand over my bearded cheek. 

Shit. She thinks this is just because I miss him. Not that I don’t. Because of fucking course I miss him. He should be here, enjoying the snowy Colorado weather, curled up on the couch while the fire is going.

Even with three kids, the place felt too empty without Misha, Vicki, and the kids. We were supposed to be enjoying ourselves before I left for Toronto in a few weeks to film for The Boys. But, of course, something happened that canceled those plans.

Not that I could blame Misha that his doctor scheduled his hip replacement surgery the week before they were supposed to come to Colorado. It just meant that I was going to have to head out to California instead. Sure, it sucked that we couldn’t get the entire family together like we planned, and we would only get a weekend together, but I knew I should be grateful for whatever time I was able to spend with Misha.

Even if it was while he was hopped up on pain killers and wasn’t allowed to do any strenuous activities.

I bite back a grin as thoughts and schemes of what we could get away with began to trickle in my head.

But then I pick up the sound of Darius’ voice from the video Danni is still playing and I let out a scowl. It isn’t that I don’t like Darius, it’s just that I can’t help worry about how much Misha likes Darius.

Danni clears her throat and I cast a glance over to her, only to see her quirk an eyebrow at me.

I can’t even muster a guilty grin because I didn’t want to think about the jealousy that consumed me every time I thought about Misha and Darius together.

Even if they haven’t been together in almost twenty years.

But I did feel guily, and embarrassed at having been caught. It was something I needed to work on, and I knew that. This whole jealousy thing. 

Misha hated it. He felt like it meant I didn’t trust him, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I just hated the thought of him wanting to kiss or be with someone else, even if it was just a joke and not real. 

More than once it caused an issue at a convention. Most of our former cast mates knew about our relationship, and were understanding that there were boundaries. But I still felt like an asshole sometimes when I let it consume me.

But Darius was different. He knew Misha - not to mention he knew Misha. He was the first person he’d been with, ever. So of course the fact they were still close was going to stir up some unwanted emotions in me, despite the fact that I had never been prone to jealousy before I had me Misha.

But his relationship with Darius wasn’t something I could compete with. 

Not that it was a competition.

With a sigh, I grabbed Danni and drew her close.

As I buried my face in her neck and inhales the sweet scent of freshly cut flowers, I felt myself finally begin to relax.

A few hours later, as I was getting ready to give Zepp a bath, I felt the familiar warmth of Danneel’s hand on the back of my neck. I leaned back into her touch and moved my head to kiss her palm as I flashed her a smile. 

“Hey, baby. I thought you were still finishing up with Arrow? Is she almost ready for bathtime?”

“Almost. But that’s not why I’m in here.”

The wicked grin she was giving me churned my insides. “Oh, yeah?” I asked as I wiggled my brow at her.

She let out a giggle and held my phone out to me.

“Mama! Mama! Watch.” Zepp pulled Danni’s attention away from me for a moment and she gave him a soft smile. 

“Hold on a second, baby. I’m going to take over for Daddy, so you can show Mama whateer you want, in just a minute, okay?”

I let out a sigh, as I love watching the way Danni is with the kids. It makes me melt every time I remember they’re mine, and that I’m lucky enough to be theirs.

But then I realize what she said and give her a questioning look.

“Why are you doing bath time tonight? It’s my turn.” I love having these little moments with the kids, things I missed a lot of while I had been filming Supernatural.

Not that I would trade any of that for anything. 

But I was lucky enough to be able to have both. To have it all.

Though I could admit I liked living this quiet life in the mountains with just the wife, boyfriend, and our kids all trying to bring the house down around us.

I knew I wasn’t SuperDad, like Dee was SuperMom, but I wasn’t that bad that she’d need to come in and take over bathing the kids from me.

But she just gave me a wink as she motioned again for me to take my phone from her.

Confused, I grabbed the towel and dried off my hands before taking the phone from her.

“Why don’t you go into the bedroom and see what I have pulled up, while I take over here, cowboy?”

My heart skipped a beat as I nodded and leaned in to give Zepplin a kiss before I placed a quick kiss on Dee’s cheek and made a beeline for the bedroom.

When I had the door closed, I leaned against it for a moment and closed my eyes. I had no idea what to expect, but the anticipation was killing me.

And I didn’t want to lose that high, so I clutched it tight against my chest for a moment. But I knew I had precious little time to myself before one of the girls realized I was set free from daddy duty, and set out to find me.

Unsure of what I was going to find when I opened my phone, I reached back and slid the lock on the door into place. She hadn’t given me any warnings that it wasn’t child-friendly, but I didn’t want to take the risk.

I opened my eyes and walked over to the bed and sat down. 

As I let out a breath, I steeled myself as I brought the phone up and swiped up to allow it open.

There was a video on my screen, waiting for me to press play. 

When i did, music began to play and I could see a woman kneading some dough. I sat there for a few moments, wondering what it was I was watching, or why Danni felt like I needed to see it at that moment.

But within a few seconds, I saw the camera move up and reveal Liz, Misha’s sister. I knew she could sing and had heard her, Misha, and their dad sing on more than one occasion, but I had been caught so off guard, I hadn’t been able to place her voice at first.

Then another voice hit my ears and tears immediately stung my eyes.

It was a voice I would know anywhere.

There was my Mish, leaning against the kitchen counter with his sister, singing to the dough they had been making, like a bunch of goofs.

My heart stuttered and I felt butterflies in my stomach as I watched him belt out the song. It made me miss him even more, and wish the weekend would hurry up and come already so I could get back to Los Angeles and see him, Vicki, and the kids.

As he squeaked out a high note, I let out a strangled laugh and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

I played the video again, and saw the beginnings, where Dee had fast forwarded so I didn’t know what I was watching, and let out a snort at how only they would spend all day making something, even after several failed attempts when he could have just gone to the bakery a couple of miles away and gotten his pastries within a half hour.

But that was why I loved him.

He liked making things with his own hands.

If he didn’t have some part in building or shaping something, it didn’t feel as real to him. It was why he built his own house, and even most of the furniture - although, throughout the years, Vicki had managed to replace about a third of it.

But even me. Misha shaped who I had become. He built up my confidence and chipped away at the self-doubt I had. Made me believe in who I was and that I was worthy of everything I had, of everything I wanted. 

Mish was the one who made me believe I deserved it. 

I looked up as I heard the lock click, and smiled as Danni walked through the door.

“Hey, sweetheart,” I whispered.

“Hi.” She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed.

When she pulled back, she reached out and wiped the tears that stained my cheeks.

A sob threatened to break free from my chest, but I held it tight. I didn’t want her to see how much I was hurting. To see how much I missed Misha.

But she never missed a thing.

“Call him,” she whispered as she leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to my lips.

I shook my head. “Naw. It can wait.” I put my head down, but she hooked her finger under my chin and brought my face back up and stared into my eyes.

I swore that woman could see my soul, and it made me shiver.

“I know it can. But you don’t have to suffer for me, Jensen. Call your man, and tell him you love him. That you miss him. There’s no reason to deny yourself that.”

She cast me a knowing smile as she got up to leave the room again.

I gave her a grin as I thought about the sound of Misha singing in that video, and the butterflies returned as I picked my phone back up to dial his number.

*******

Taglist: @dolphindiluna @astral-from-the-pit-of-despair @kristina710

[welllpthisishappening]

Okay can we talk about ACOSF???? Bc on booktok all I’m seeing is so much negativity about how people don’t like feysand or don’t like nesta but?? I read this book, loved it, thought nesta grew SO much and we got to see feysand from a different POV which gave them depth! Plus a baby!!! I can talk about it forever

We can absolutely talk about ACOSF. I have thoughts, feelings, opinions and this is going to get long. And, uh, any of those super negative critiques:

Alright, alright, alright, so initial feelings? I enjoyed it a lot. Like, way more than I thought I would honestly because going in I was like eh, Nessian, but I loved Nesta’s character development and the flirt-to-roast ratio with her and Cassian and every single time Cassian called her Nes or God help me ARCHERON, my soul reached another plane of existence. Don’t even get me started on that one time she called him General. The noise I made was not audible to human ears. 

That said, there were some parts that I was like: oh ok, that’s happening. So, because I cannot function without organization, let’s break down some of the major things that happened into a LIST WITH OPINIONS ATTACHED

Sexual Tension Fucking fuck, these two idiots. Pining after each other while both desperately wanting someone, anyone, to be like — please stay in bed and cuddle me all night?!?! Idiots. Both of them flush with power and the ability to make people legit terror before them and they’re so goddamn soft with each other. Which is kind of hysterical because they are also able to rip each other to shreds? Oh my God, some of those fight scenes, I just—my heart was in my throat. And I do not want to hear a single word of how CASSIAN IS MEAN TO NESTA? Were we reading the same book, internet? Bro is In Love. From the G E T. 

Which leads us to—

S O L S T I C E  God, rip my romantic-loving heart out of my body. Learning what was in the box from the solstice before made me screech and then the music. THE MUSIC. Can we talk about Cassian, feared general, dude who has canonically lost track of how many people he has killed, cornering an ENTIRE ORCHESTRA to recreate music for Nesta? I just—f u c k. It was a lot. A lot. And then we circle back around to how soft they were and there’ll never be another and I am going to have to pace around a bit. I loved it. I love them. I nearly screamed when it took Nesta a few more chapters to realize it was a mating bond, and then Cassian just bolted because he also couldn’t quite deal with it, and I am still not super sold on the mating bond, like, as a thing, but I kind of went into this book pretty certain this was going to happen, so...good. Also them arguing by the Sidra, oof. 

There was a lot of sex in this book. I knew there was going to be a lot of sex in this book. I must have told my husband four different times, “God, there is a lot of sex in this book.” Some of it was good. Some of it was kind of cloying in its descriptions. I genuinely lol’ed at Nesta fantasizing about being straight up railed by both Cassian and Azriel. (Why was that in there? Still don’t really know, felt a lot like very obvious fan service, but it was also kind of hysterical.)

JEALOUSY DIDN’T MAKE ME WANT TO RIP MY EYES OUT I hate jealousy plots. HATE THEM. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves in relationship writing, but I was super into it here??? Cassian cutting in on the dance and TAKING DANCING LESSONS. It was good. I enjoyed it. 

Nesta’s Power Yo. YO. This was really cool. She was terrifying and out of control, while also learning how to be in control and intimidating and I was like YES, GET IT. When Rhys flew into the House and Nesta was just wrapped in silver flames, that was super cool. Also Rhys being freaked out by her? Kind of bad ass, honestly. But. But! I wish it was explored even more. I wish we got to learn what she could really do and the extent to which she could do it, because I thought it was a fascinating possibility to parallel Nesta to Feyre and I don’t really think we got that. Like, Feyre Cursebreaker — with power given from all the High Lords, this bringer of new life and a fresh start for all the courts. Then her sister — with power stolen from the Cauldron itself and death at her fingertips. With all the comparisons of Feyre and Nesta, I really figured we’d be gunning towards that eventually ESPECIALLY with Feyre being pregnant, and the idea of life in that capacity. Also, what was the point of Lucien saying “Gods help you all” or whatever he said when he was watching Nesta train if...nothing ever really came from that? We’ll circle back around to that in a second, during what will be my ending-based soliloquy, but first let’s talk about—

Feyre Being Pregnant, Why That Kind of Felt Like Twilight and Why I Get Why Rhys Was Being an Idiot Listen, part of the reason I wanted to read this book was for what I assumed would be the Feysand crumbs we’d get. Most of me was convinced that this book would not take place in Velaris and I was mentally prepared for that. Color me pleasantly surprised when it wasn’t and we got an IC feast. But. But! Part two! I’ve mentioned how I’m never really here for...pregnancy being like this ultimate endgame, and I understand why Feysand wanted a kid and I get it, I do. Just the whole thing with she’s going to DIE felt very Bella Swan, was kind of dramatic in mela-sort of way and I TOTALLY GET WHY RHYS KEPT THE WINGS A SECRET. Was it idiotic? Yeah, of course. But I don’t think we talk about his trauma enough, really. Those fifty years under the Mountain are not just gong to disappear, and I cannot really blame him for totally losing his mind at even the idea of Feyre dying. This is not a dude who is trying to control Feyre. I’ve never felt that way about Rhys. At all. This is a dude who has already lost ALL of HIS control and is desperately trying to hang on. He’s already had his entire world shattered six ways to Sunday, this was obviously going to destroy him. Aside from, y’know, straight up killing him too. (That was dumb, guys.) And I think telling Feyre would have made it REAL for Rhys, which he obviously could not cope with. Was I surprised that Feyre’s pregnancy was such a big plot point in a book that was supposed to be super Nessian focused? Yeah, for sure. But also—I like established relationships and Feyre and Rhys could not stop making eyes at each other. Not totally here for the deadly pregnancy trope, not totally here for using family as a trauma recovery, but sort of understand it. 

Training, Valkyries and Friendship Bracelets Like I said, I thought this book was gong to take place in the Illyrian camps way more than it did, but I L O V E D the training sessions. Adored Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn’s friendship and how often they teamed up to snark Cassian and Azriel. I was painfully here for all three of them together and the sleepover in the House warmed the cockles of my cold, dead heart. Especially when the bracelets proved so important during the Blood Rite. Which—let’s talk about the Blood Rite. Didn’t expect that!! Was pleasantly surprised by that!! Nesta drawing the literal line in the dirt made me fist pump the air. (And is another parallel to Feyre and her taking inspiration from old Fae legends, but that’s neither here nor there, whatever I’m not here to harp on missed opportunity.) I thought it was really important that all three of them got to showcase their own power too, and how they worked SO WELL together and I was just really glad that there was such focus on this sisterhood outside of literal sisterhood. I thought those relationships were so well done and it was just such a joy to read about their growth and strength and I loved them. Am I here for Gwyn and Azriel? Maybe. Possibly more here for Emerie and Mor? Maybe maybe. 

The House I thought it was Amren, for a very long time. Like secretly helping Nesta still and I was really into that idea and really into Amren not being able to totally let Nesta go and I wasn’t really into Nesta bowing to Amren. 

THE ENDING Oh my God, so much happened. So quickly. With some occasionally jarring scene cuts. The Blood Rite surprised me, but I was not surprised by Cassian getting ensnared by the crown. Fully expected something like that to happen, was still making ridiculous noises when he tried to turn the dagger on himself instead of killing Nesta. LOST MY MIND WHEN NESTA UNMADE THE QUEEN. I’m still sort of...confused about the Trove, though. I know there are a fair number of hanging plot threads that are gong to lead into other stories, but I just—I don’t know, when they were talking about the High King and everything I sort of thought they were leading towards Nessian being that. I know the whole IC was very into Rhys and thematically it made sense, but also let’s consider—I don’t want that? Rhys needs to get his shit in order and his own Court to calm the fuck down and again I think the potential for LORD OF THE BASTARDS and LADY DEATH to ascend to this position of power and lead the world into this new era was there and I just, I don’t know, I liked the idea of it. Particularly when so many people have referred to Nesta as a Queen. That whole thing in the prison happened, y’know? I’m not sure (read: I’m fairly positive) that won’t happen now, especially because Nesta gave up so much of her power to save Feyre. And I know that’s a TALKING POINT™ but also...I was pretty cool with that? Once it came out that Feyre was going to die, it made sense that Nesta would be the one to save her—to twist death again, and kind of seize control of it. Granted, I’m still a little confused by the Trove and what everyone’s going to do with all that power, but Nesta saving Feyre was this perfect sort of wrap up. For me, at least. I think they balance each other out in a lot of respects, and that was really the last step of Nesta’s growth. Also, uh, back on my Feysand ‘ish and Rhys screaming and crying and trying to get to Feyre? o o o f. Also, also, RHYS BOWING TO NESTA. I CANNOT TELL YOU THE LAST TIME I CRIED AT A BOOK, BUT I CRIED AT THIS BOOK. RHYS, BABY, I ADORE YOU. 

Nesta Finding Herself I just really—liked it. I think sometimes in these sorts of stories we get people who are so focused on characters being “the bitch” and having an edge and we have a tendency to think that’s what makes them STRONG. Nah, that ain’t it, son. I don’t want to read about someone being a dick just for sake of being a dick. Nesta was NOT IN A GOOD PLACE. She was self-imploding and destroying herself and getting her POV made it blatantly clear that she thought she deserved that. That she truly believed she didn’t deserve anyone else. And as much as the romance was good and the friendships were fantastic, the key to this story was Nesta (as cheesy as it sounds) learning to love herself. To find worth in her own self. Reading about Nesta simply learning to want to live again, for no one except herself, was really, really good and I think, for the most part, well done. Which is why it makes sense that Nesta gives up some of her power. This isn’t about being A BAD BITCH, PATENT PENDING. This is about love, and joy and embracing your own faults. I get the disappointment over Nesta losing her power. I do. But I’m not sure she totally did? Maybe that’s too positive, or too naive, or something, but...whatever. 

Other things that I really enjoyed, include but are not limited to: Cassian having allergies Nesta absolutely decimating Tamlin. And Tamlin’s just like...a lion all the time now, huh? And, uh, also is Tamlin Gwyn’s dad??? Like, is that a thing? Am I crazy?  Nesta telling Elain to fuck off (Also, Elain—darling, I wish you got more character development. Elain is to SJM what Belle is to me in CS fic. Sometimes I think she just forgets about her.) Azriel calling out Cassian for getting BLOWN at the dining room table Azriel getting Nesta a Solstice gift and then THEY HUGGED Nesta wanting an over the top mating ceremony. Get it, girl.  Feyre going full on Court of Nightmares in the Hewn City Nesta making it down the steps

Other things I thought we’d get more of and just...didn’t Whatever the fuck Lucien has been up to, and more on the continent with Vassa and Juran More stuff in Illyria Reaction to the trio in the Blood Rite Amren and Nesta reconciling. I know Nesta apologized, but Amren kind of got on my nerves.  Nesta understandably criticizing the IC and their tendency to get a little sanctimonious.  THREE SISTER PEAKS. THREE BAT BOYS. THREE VALKYRIE. WHAT IS IT SARAH? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? 

#acosf #acosf spoilers #nessian #a court of silver flames #a court of silver flames spoilers #oh my god this is so long #i'm really not here for the negativity #so i will not engage with that #stealing-vengence #laura rambles #laura reads books

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LIII

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Because You Cheated On Me

(10x05/10x07)

Hello my friends! Here I'm with another meta from this series.

This time I'm gonna share with you something I discovered in this early season.

I want to say thanks to my dearest friend @agusvedder who made the gifs for this meta. Love ya gorgeous 💕

Wincest: NO! Destiel: ...

Episode 10x05 Fan Fiction was dedicated to the fans. We can see a lot of fan service, (the quote "We have work to do" as the Winchester loved cliche, but it also connects with season 15, in which we heard it again, delivering us a huge parallel with what is going on in the last season, I will talk later of this) but also, we can see Dean's reaction to the ships.

Her is Dean and the audience (mostly GA) who don't see subtext or ships, but is Rejecting it right away. Because they're brothers. And is disgusting to think they're searching for something else between them, so... Dean requested them to get away from each other.

A different reaction we can see I'm Dean )or may I say Jensen?) When Marie suggests DESTIEL ship, and explains the subtext to him.

He doesn't asked to be apart, and one little detail, the two girls were dating in real life (winking at Cockles shippers).

And the precious relevance to SUBTEXT in the show, when we are talking about Dean and Cas.

Dean will end by accepting it, and embracing it...

DEAN : Yeah, that'd have been easier. I know I have expressed some differences of opinion, regarding this particular version of Supernatural. But tonight, it is all about Marie's vision. This is Marie's Supernatural. So, I want you to get out there, and I want you to stand as close as she wants you to, and I want you to put as much sub and add text, as you possibly can. There is no other road. No other way. No day, but today.

Marie's supernatural, the Fan's Supernatural, it transport me to Becky in episode 15x04. Writing her own ending and her own stories...

Marie, not accepting the end Chuck had written, she chooses to write her own ending. And that's, what I think, the huge parallel with season 15.

The Winchesters, TFW 2.0, can write their own ending. Their own destiny.

But don't forget this is a Destiel Meta, and I can't avoid the fact that while Dean was talking about subtext here, he was putting Castiel's tie upside down. That's very meaningful because... Dean knows how Cas wears his tie... And is something he had payed attention... Is part of his Castiel, and maybe something he find adorable on him.

Yes... Subtext...

Another quote that brings us to season 15 is the two girls acting like Sam and Dean, saying...

SIOBHAN!DEAN : You're right, Sammy. Out on the road. Just the two of us.

MARIE!SAM : The two of us against the world.

First episode in season 15, Dean said the same quote. So, there's a tight recalling to this episode, in which Chuck appears at the end too.

The message is... We write our own destiny and ending.

Jealous and Revenge

Now... We all laughed with this scene...

But what this means...?

If you recall the last episode from this season... Sam and Cas team up and Dean didn't know it. They were cheating on Dean. Sastiel and Destiel.

This is not the only clue among the season, and you will discover it with me though these metas.

But now... I want to talk about Castiel's speech from my previous meta : THERE'S A FEMALE ON MY CAR and Dean's puzzled and frowned face... Jealous.

Because... What happened at the beginning of episode 10x07, Girls, Girls, Girls... It has to do with that.

What I call REVENGE from Dean Winchesters feeling himself abandoned and deceived, and cheated by Castiel... Was he with a woman in his car??? What about me? Does he changed me for her?

So... Very OOC... Dean Winchester tried to hook up with a date app...

SAM: Shaylene, huh?

Dean, there are like a million messages here.

DEAN: Yeah, uh, check out her pic.

SAM: Uh...Oh. Wow. Okay.

[Camera view of phone shows a beautiful woman with dark hair in a blue dress]

Um, okay. She's hot. But...

DEAN: "But," what?

SAM: But she seems, um... Kind of...available. Like too available. "Oh, baby, whatever you want. I'm burning up just thinking about you."

Okay, if you rewatch the whole scene, Sam is mocking him, because is clear here Dean doesn't use to do this. Dean doesn't use date apps to get a woman. Then, why is he doing this?

Because he is acting now like a jiltter lover (oh, wait... Is another parallel with Human!Cas in episode 9x06 😏)

And because the subtext has to be well constructed here, it jumps to Cas and Hannah (the female in Castiel's car) doing this...

Is she "Kind of avaible. Like too avaible?"

Yes she is...

And because this season we will talk about romantic betrayal (CAS cheating on Dean with Hannah and Sam) we have a foreshadow with Hannah's vessel and the husband.

And Castiel excusing Hannah's behavior... Because...

The mission comes first DEAN WINCHESTER COMES FIRST, will echoing one of the quotes by the end of the season in which Sam, Cas and Charlie will do anything to save him from the mark, even if that means not telling him (cheating on him) FOR DEAN.

To Conclude:

Episode 5x05 brings us to season 15 and Chuck's drama. TFW must learn they can write their own destiny and ending.

Dean using a dates app is so ooc that hurts, but it has his cause on Castiel's female in his car, so Dean is absolutely acting like a jitter lover.

Foreshadowing too the Sastiel team, hiding Dean his plans to save him.

Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@imjustkipping @shippsblog

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you want to read the previous metas From season 10, here you have the links...

Vol. LI and Vol. LII

Buenos Aires, March 15 2020 03:04 PM

#destiel #destiel chronicles #destiel meta #supernatural meta #season 10 meta #vol. LIII

[dimples-of-discontent]

My Cockles Crack Masterpost:

Hello, yes, did any of you need a little pick-me-up? I know I do. So I’ve collected for you all most of the Cockles crack that I’ve written. I left off collaborative pieces of crack and ones attached to long gifsets. But all the text posts (especially “Jensen vs. Jensen’s brain”) are all there. I’ll drop a cut somewhere since this baby is long but I hope you all enjoy. 

LONG LIVE TEAM DUMPSTER MANSION!!! 

Dabb: So, let’s have AU Cas.

SPN writers: Cool. Why don’t we ask Misha to do one of his accents?

Jensen: *flings door open* *pants* AM I TOO LATE?! DID I MISS IT?!

BONUS alternative by @postmodernmulticoloredcloak​:

Dabb: So, let’s have AU Cas.

Everyone: …

Jensen: *starts vibrating at a very high frequency*

Misha: …okay I’ll do an accent

Isn’t it so weird that none of Jensen’s kids look like Misha?

Jensen is CONSTANTLY hosting his own episodes of Queer Eye and every one is about Misha.

[Below the cut]

Jensen: *looks up suddenly and stares into the middle distance* *vibrates at a high frequency*

Danneel: What is it, babe?

Jensen: Somewhere…Misha is doing an accent. Badly. He’s doing it badly, but he’s still doing it.

Danneel: You’ve gotta go!

Jensen: You’re right, I’ve gotta go!

Somewhere in Austin a high-pitched whistle blows.

Jensen, holding his ears and running into the kitchen: Alright, alright! What?!

Danneel, points wordlessly at laptop screen where this is displayed.

Jensen: Oh no.

Danneel, accusatory: I thought you HID those!

Jensen: I did! *pause* Why would he look in my dirty laundry anyway?

*Danneel stares*

Jensen: Oh right. I guess he needed something to wear.

Danneel: Pretty dumb, babe.

Jensen: Hmmm…yeah. *pause, then, hopeful* I guess we couldn’t fly to Hawaii to get them, right? *pause* No, no of course not. *mumbles* Damn shorts.

Text convo, probably:

Jensen: mish miss you. send me a pic.

Misha: *photo of something random like an interesting leaf*

Jensen: no, i mean like i MISS you miss you. send a pic of you.

Misha: *photo of his foot*

Jensen: oh for fuck’s sake! *posts flex meme and tags misha in it*

Jensen: there now it’s public you have to do it. and you can fuck off.

Misha: *sends dick pic*

Me: god Misha has the perfect jawline. Not that it matters.

Lizard brain: lick it

Me: yes, yes if I actually had a real relationship with him that would be well and good but…

Lizard brain: LICKIT

Me: yes, yes I heard you but what’s crucial is that Misha is one of the very best humans out there not that he has the stubbled and chiseled jawline of a Greek god so I really think we should focus on…

Jensen (in the distance): oh my God! it doesn’t have to be a choice, dummy!! L I CK IT!!

Jensen’s brain: It’s Misha’s birthday. We love Misha. Say it.

Jensen: No. We are in public. I am just going to call him “the man” and post a cute pic of us in matching outfits.

Jensen’s brain: NOOOOOO…SAYITSAYITSAYITWELOVEHIMSAYIT

Jensen: God fine ok…but I’m using an emoji not words.

Jensen’s brain: Acceptable.

Jensen: And also I’m going to add “bro”.

Jensen’s brain: …. 😒

Jensen: So now no one will ever know.

Jensen’s brain: 🙄

(About this mess right here)

Jensen’s brain: hold his hand

Jensen: NO it will look gay!

Jensen’s brain: but…you are gay for each other? so who cares?

Jensen: Yes, but we can’t LOOK gay ok? So just shake hands.

Jensen’s brain: fine 🙄

**Jensen does whatever this subby, hand-groping bullshit is**

Jensen’s brain: is that…. is that how humans shake hands? in a non-gay way?

Jensen: Shut up.

Jensen’s brain: i’m just trying to understand

Jensen: Shut up, asshole

Jensen’s brain: 😏

Look, I know it’s not going to happen, but all I want in life is for Jensen to respond to Misha’s shirtless video by saying “Hey Mish, if you need a shirt I have a few old ones for you.”

New theory: Jensen gives Misha so many shirts because otherwise his natural inclination is to run around bare-chested and Jensen’s poor, queer heart cannot handle it. (Photo version.)

Cockles trash cat meme origin

So you know how you sometimes go out with you friends and one of them gets way too drunk and ends up getting confessional with someone they don’t know that well? And you kind of want to stop them but, y’know, it’s their life and their choices so you have nothing to do but sit back and watch and be equal parts mildly horrified that they are spilling secrets to a relative stranger and incredibly amused at how they will feel about it later?

THAT is how I feel watching Misha tell the same story, over and over, about wearing Jensen’s hand-me-down shirts.

Misha, you’re currently my intensely emotional drunk friend and you need to stop before you reach the point of crying in the club. Neither of us can handle that. Thanks in advance.

Misha on social media: hahaha…Jensen is my cabin boy…that means he’s a sub who likes BDSM…hahaha…gonna make a comment about a giant space tongue rimming Jensen b/c why not lolz…gonna post a pic of myself covered in white goo and imply that it’s come from the conclusion of a threesome with Jensen and Jared…haha I’m such a scamp…I’m just incorrigible…teehee…

Misha when a fan mentions clothing: WHAT’S A JENSEN??? I’ve never heard of one and even if I had I definitely wouldn’t have had any non-heterosexual thoughts or feelings about him…and we’re absolutely not so close that we share in casual intimacy without a second thought…what could possibly make you think that?? I DON’T EVEN LIKE JENSEN OK!!!

Stages of Cockles in Gifs.

I feel like Jensen is one con away from straight-up answering an only tangentially-related question with, “…and that’s why I love Misha. You do know I love Misha, right? Like, love love him, like the way we love our wives. I feel like you guys get it so let’s just move on. Next question!”

At the next con, Jensen and Misha will be projecting the words “JUST SO YOU KNOW, I LOVE THIS MAN” on the side of the building across from the hotel in case you somehow miss that message in their panels.

At the next con, Jensen and Misha will be screening a 12-minute video that is just them giggling while one of them films the other; there will be no lines and nothing else will happen. Fandom will deem it a masterpiece.

At the next con, instead of his usual classic rock covers, Jensen will be performing a spoken word piece about how great Misha is, accompanied by Jared on bongos and Richard Speight on the kazoo.

In the final episode we are brought to the realization that the show DOES exist in our universe and on our timeline and that this entire time J2M have ACTUALLY BEEN TFW and kept this cover story about being actors on a TV show to keep us from knowing what they are really up to. Most of the show is just footage of their lives, though some of the things on the show were just absurd and to keep us off track.

Misha Collins is an actual angel. Jensen Ackles is a grumpy-faced softie with the biggest nerd streak. Jared Padalecki is a fiercely loyal and intelligent guy who has fought off more than his share of darkness. Gen and Danneel are actually supernatural creatures though neither will fully commit to being an angel or demon. Vicki is too powerful to be captured on film. And of course Jensen and Misha have been husbands for years. It was hard to hide that one on the show.

Jensen: *does interview quote game on his own* Great! Now, I’m gonna go get Misha. He’s gonna be so terrible at this game lol…He has the worst memory and never watches the show…hahaha isn’t that so cute?

Interviewer: oh actually we weren’t quite done interviewing you…

Jensen: yeah but Mish is gonna be so bad at this and I can’t afford to miss that! Imma go find him right now!

Interviewer: you really don’t have to…we’re actually talking to you all individually.

Jensen: ….

Interviewer: y’know, so we can cut the clips together?

Jensen: ….

Interviewer: And because you probably have a lot of other interviews at this huge press event for your 300th episode?

Jensen: ….. Yeah, no, I’m getting him right now. Hey, Mish! Get in here!

Filming with JenMish (aka “why’s Dean wearing a seatbelt?”)

**Jensen makes a dirty joke and Misha cracks up** **Misha and Jensen playfully push each other around the front seat of the car** **Misha says one thing that is mildly amusing and Jensen falls over laughing**

Sanchez, conferring with Bob Singer: What do you do to stop this?

Singer: strap one of them down

Sanchez: You mean, like, tell them to get it together or else?

Singer: No, no. I mean LITERALLY strap one of them down.

Sanchez: ….

Singer: Why do you think they get tied to so many chairs? **sighs** These two have cost us so much in duct tape.

photographer: alright, everyone, fight each other for pie! jensen: mish, you should pull my hair. misha: why? it’s not like that would stop you moving your arm. jensen: …. jensen: misha. you. should. PULL. MY. HAIR. misha: ooohhhhhh! jared: I don’t want to be here for this.

Cockles is the gay booze cruise of ships.

a text exchange that probably happened: jensen: I can’t believe ur still going running on vacation jensen: nerd misha: hello to you too. … misha: awww, babe, you must really miss me! that comment is so sappy! jensen: shut up misha: you “dig” the “WHOLE THING” huh? jensen: fuck off misha: don’t I know it!! jensen: fuck OFF misha: now I have to go like it. … misha: ok done. you huge softie. jensen: not always misha: oh really? misha: how about now? jensen: not now jensen: call me misha; as you wish…

Jensen’s brain (Jensain): holy shit!! look at our hot husband!! mmm…we like the grey and the sweat and the beard and, hey, did we give him that shirt? Jensen: yep. Jensen’s brain: and he sounds all smart and sincere, which turns us on….WOW we’ve been apart for too long! Jensen: tell me about it. Jensen’s brain: Say something about how good he looks. Jensen: I can’t. It’s public. Jensen’s brain: You gotta. Jensen: I. CAN’T. Jensen’s brain: But how these bitches gonna know he’s yours!? Do you know how many people are looking at this video RIGHT NOW?! Jensen: OMG Jensen’s brain: OMG Jensen: they gotta know… Jensen’s brain: YESSSSS!! DO IT!! Tell everyone the sexy, scruffy, deep-voiced, poetry-reciting motherfucker standing in the sunlight belongs to you! Jensen: I can’t say that. I’m just..gonna…tease him? about something? Jensen’s brain: u serious? 😒 Jensen: Well…no… Jensen’s brain: tell him you like the whole package! Jensen: I cannot use the word “package” about Misha in public. Jensen’s brain: 😏 Jensen’s brain: Fine! Can you at least mention how strong he is? Jensen: … I guess that’s less…gay… Jensen’s brain: uh-huh, sure. way less gay. 🙄 Jensen: ok, I did it. now leave me alone. I have to post a picture of my family so that no one suspects I only logged in because I have alerts set for Misha. Jensen’s brain: … Jensen’s brain: hey, you know who looks sexy in flannel PJs?? Jensen: ALRIGHT THAT’S IT

me: *wakes up in a cold sweat and sits upright in bed*

But how much of the mockumentary did Jensen shoot??!?

Misha is busting out of his shirt and jacket in those EW pics again, which makes me think something like this exchange must have taken place:

EW stylists: So, what size is Misha? SPN costumers: Eh, he’s the small one. EW stylists: But…he doesn’t…look small? SPN costumers: Nah, trust us, he’s the small one. EW stylists: Uh, looks more like he’s a 6’ wall of muscle but ok Misha: What’s a clothes? I will wear it. *Jensen sobbing in the background*

”I’m Full Frontal in Here Dude: Guest Starring Misha Collins” title of Jensen’s sex tape.

Jensen’s brain: you should give Misha that valentine.

Jensen: Yeah, good. It will work for the video. Like, as a joke.

Jensen’s brain: no. not joke. he’s your valentine.

Jensen: No he’s…

Jensen’s brain: you can’t lie to me. I’m you.

Jensen: shit. that’s true.

…

Jensen’s brain: Sooooo…valentine?

Jensen: Fine, but I’m gonna call him “buddy” when I give it to him.

Jensen’s brain: 😐

Jensen: People can’t KNOW!!

Jensen’s brain: You literally just called him your valentine on camera on a livestream but OK WHATEVER make sure you say “buddy.”

Jensen: I did WHAT??!

Jensen’s brain: Why do I bother? 🙄

Destiel AU where Cas is a poet who writes secret poems for Dean and posts them anonymously to an Instagram account that he gets Dean to follow and Dean falls in love with the mystery man he feels is speaking to him…and then realizes it was the guy he already crushed on from afar.

aka AU where Destiel is Cockles (with some tiny changes)

#masterpost #cockles masterpost #cockles crack masterpost #my stuff #bex writes #though sometimes only crack #my cockles crack #cockles crack #these two idiots #jensen vs jensen's brain #jensain #cockles humor #life in the trash can #jensen trash cat ackles #pray4jensen #pray4misha #pray4us #TEAM DUMPSTER MANSION #rps for ts

[analogscum]

SCUM IN THE AISLES #4 (The House That Jack Built: Unrated Director’s Cut)

Sometimes, in order to seek out the weirdest discarded slices of celluloid trash that cinema has to offer, one must leave the confines of their crappy apartment, and go to an actual movie theater. This is a column recounting my excursions into the b-movie wilds. This is Scum in the Aisles!

PART 1: ANTICIPATION

“You’ve all bought tickets for a Lars von Trier film, so you know what you’re getting yourselves into.”

With this, Justin Timms, the founder of the Brooklyn Horror Film Festival, and our host for this evening in a dark and chilly corner of Greenpoint known as the Film Noir Cinema, ceded the floor to the film we had all gathered to experience, The House That Jack Built. A two and a half hour art house serial killer epic by perhaps the most controversial filmmaker alive. A film that prompted both mass walkouts (anywhere between a dozen and a hundred people, depending on who you ask) and a ten minute standing ovation when it premiered out of competition at this year’s Cannes Film Festival. A film which has since been decried as a gruesome, sadistic, mean-spirited slog by some, and praised as a beautiful, self-reflexive act of provocation by others.

Timms, for his part, had just seen the film for the first time along with the crowd from the first screening of the evening, and he looked positively shell-shocked. All around me, the crowd buzzed with nervousness and excitement. What sort of celluloid horrors awaited us? Would we be able to stomach what was splayed up on the screen? Would cinema’s angry Danish trickster god once again succeed in getting under our skin and raising our cockles? Or had his flagellations, both towards himself and the audience that improbably keeps coming back (myself included), grown tired and stale?

Our host had claimed that we knew what we were getting ourselves into simply by showing up to watch a Lars von Trier film…but did we?

PART 2: SYNOPSIS

The House That Jack Built follows Jack (Matt Dillon, turning in a career best performance) over roughly twelve years of a very eventful life. Jack lives somewhere in the Pacific Northwest, he’s an engineer who dabbles in architecture on the side. He comes from a wealthy family; his inheritance allows him to buy a large plot of land by a picturesque lake and build his titular house. However, what Jack really loves, his true passion in life, is annihilating other human beings. Jack is not just A serial killer, he is THE serial killer. Dude makes Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy, both of whose real life exploits are alluded to via Jack’s activities in the film, look like slouches.

As von Trier likes to do, the film is divided into five chapters and an epilogue. The five chapters are each devoted to a specific murder out of the nearly hundred he commits that is supposed to make us understand why Jack does what he does. I’ll get to the epilogue later, because I have FEELINGS about it. Similarly, as von Trier also likes to do, Jack narrates these chapters in the form of a confession, in this case to a man named Verge (Bruno Ganz). With the first two chapters, von Trier catches us off guard by deploying humor. Aside from the violence, which is indeed quite brutal, von Trier manages to wring genuine laughs out of the absurdity of these situations. In the first chapter, Uma Thurman plays a rich woman with a flat tire who is so unpleasant and annoying that you can’t help but root for Jack to kill her. In the second chapter, Siobhan Fallon Hogan makes the mistake of believing Jack when he knocks on her door, first pretending to be a policeman, then incredulously switching gears and pretending to be an insurance salesman, before a comedy of errors involving Jack’s cleanliness-based OCD, a very annoyed local cop, and a telltale trail of blood ensues. The audience I saw it with tonight ate these moments up, partially laughing at the jokes themselves, then perhaps doubling down when we realized how inappropriate it was to be laughing in the first place.

However, the laughs quickly dried up once chapter three began. This chapter involved the shooting of children, and was the focus of much of the ire directed at the film after Cannes. Indeed, especially in a post-Sandy Hook world, the violence in this section was almost unbearable. Aside from seeing children gunned down in graphic detail, Jack then conducts some, shall we say, amateur taxidermy with one of the corpses, making for the second time in two films that von Trier has given us the nightmare image of a child with a horrifying rictus smile (shoutouts to the baby from Nymphomaniac Vol. II). Chapter four details the gruesome fate of Jack’s one and only girlfriend, played by Riley Keough. Von Trier ratchets up the tension here to near intolerable levels, foreshadowing a horrific act of mutilation a good ten minutes before it happens, and then showing it up close, in nauseatingly graphic detail. Most of the audience, myself included, watched this scene through our fingers.

Now, very quickly, I’ll say that, yes, for most normal moviegoers, the violence in this film will definitely be a lot. But speaking as a connoisseur of horror movies and weirdo genre experiments, it wasn’t anything outside of the ordinary. In fact, I found the violence in Antichrist to be way more upsetting and visceral than most of what you see in this film.

Chapter five sees Jack conducting a gristly experiment in his industrial freezer involving full metal jacket bullets. He also picks up a spiffy red hooded robe. This is where we catch up with the beginning of the film, and see Verge for the first time. As it turns out, Verge is here to chaperone Jack to the fires of Hell. This is where the Epilogue kicked off, and where the audience, myself DEFINITELY included, started to get a bit antsy. I seem to recall an old maxim that goes something like, you can do anything to an audience aside from bore them. Well, unfortunately, I found this Epilogue to be almost unbearably boring. Aside from some stunning imagery, it was mostly tedious and pretentious, straining for some sort of higher message that was just unnecessary. If I had to sum it up in one sentence, it would be: Tarkovsky by way of Tim and Eric. Normally that would be a compliment coming from me. All the pretty pictures in the world means nothing if the audience is reaching for their coats.

PART 3: INTENTIONS

So what is von Trier trying to tell us with all of this madness? What does he want us to take with us once we leave the theater? If you follow his filmography, it’s not a big scoop to say that von Trier’s most recent work, starting with Antichrist and continuing through Melancholia and the Nymphomaniac films, have been somewhat autobiographical, sort of his version of State of the Union addresses. The House That Jack Built feels like the culmination of this stage of his career. In this film, von Trier puts himself on trial, with Dillon’s Jack as his surrogate. Just like with the Nymphomaniac films, there are many, many, MANY flowery, pseudo-philosophical digressions on a number of topics, accompanied by slides and bits of archival video (I’ll bet someone out there is kicking themselves for ever having introduced von Trier to Shudderstock), including the poetry of William Blake, photography, love, deer hunting, gothic architecture, and Glenn Gould. One especially epic digression finds Jack opining on dessert wines, the Third Reich architect Albert Speer, and finally the artistic integrity of von Trier’s own cinematic oeuvre, complete with clips from his previous films. Ballsy, no?

I would be lying to you if I said I understood everything that von Trier was trying to convey with these digressions. However, it is definitely clear to me that this film is meant to function as sort of a statement to the jury in the court of public opinion. Von Trier has always put himself at the forefront of his films more so than most directors, displaying his name alongside, or sometimes above his actors (hell, for this film, he even devoted an entire poster to himself). This, of course, means we the audience tend to read his films as glimpses into its maker’s psyche more than we would for most other directors, which is not entirely fair in my opinion, but it’s a blessing and a curse that von Trier has brought on himself. So what does he want us to understand about himself after we’ve seen The House That Jack Built? It seems to be something along the lines of, yes, every awful thing you’ve said about me is true, and you could never hate me as much as I hate myself, but I only answer to a higher power. Which, yeah, ok...but is that enough? Or, to put it more succinctly, is that even that interesting of a conclusion? We’ve now sat through nearly ten hours of von Trier’s cinematic therapy sessions over the last decade, and he basically ends it all by pulling a Tupac on us: only God can judge me.

PART 4: MISANTHROPY

The best and most succinct description of von Trier’s modus operandi as an artist that I’ve yet to hear comes from the excellent YouTube movie review show Welcome to the Basement. During their most recent episode, while giving a (largely negative) critique of Dogville, co-host Matt Sloan describes von Trier as “a provocateur that has the talent to back it up.” Indeed, if von Trier was entirely the sum of his detractors claims, then he would’ve been forgotten a long time ago. He does indeed have the cinematic bonafides, and they don’t let him down here: the camerawork in this film is gorgeous and intimate, the editing is kinetic and fast-paced, and as usual von Trier knows just how and when to perfectly deploy a pop song for maximum disarmament.

The most resounding jibe against von Trier is that he is a raving misogynist, due to the almost ludicrously awful levels of suffering that he puts his female protagonists through. For his part, von Trier has defended himself in the past by saying he is actually fighting against the patriarchy by showing the awful trials that women must endure in a society run by men. It’s a fair, if slightly dubious claim. Personally I’ve always been kind of dumbfounded that we seem to hold von Trier to these moral standards based on the fates of his fictional characters that we just don’t with other directors. What makes him an exception in this case? Wes Anderson and Yorgos Lanthimos depict gruesome animal deaths left and right in their films, but does anyone legitimately think that they hate pets? However, when it comes to The House That Jack Built, I cannot and will not defend von Trier against these accusations of misogyny. Almost none of the female characters in the film are even given a name, and the one exception, Keough’s “Jaqueline Simple,” is derided constantly by Jack and called stupid because of her last name. It becomes especially stark and uncomfortable when, at one point, Verge observes that the women Jack has discussed strike him as “unbelievably stupid,” as if they somehow deserved to die because of that. Jack just shrugs and says that he also killed men, but he just so happened to choose these stories of killing women “at random.” Mhmmm. Not buying it this time, bucko.

Then again, you could argue that, since this story is told from the perspective of a man who unapologetically murders women in the most gruesome and debasing of ways, it would be dishonest or nonsensical to show them otherwise. But that brings up a whole other can of worms: what does it say about von Trier himself that he seems to seriously identify with a mass murderer? At one point, the film alludes to, and seemingly tries to make excuses for, the infamous press conference following Melancholia’s Cannes premiere during which von Trier compared himself to and jokingly sympathized with Hitler, an act of provocation which earned him an unofficial “ban for life” from the festival (obviously this did not last). And perhaps I’m reading too much into this, but the scene where Jack experiments with killing multiple people at once with a single full metal jacket bullet reminded me of a director at work, setting up his shot, changing the angle, making sure everything is just right, except in this instance, the camera is replaced with a high powered military grade rifle. Jack does remark at multiple times throughout the film that he sees his killings as a sort of art. Does von Trier relate to this sentiment? Does he see the creation of art as an act of love, as Verge does, or more like Jack, as an act of decay and degradation? I’m guessing more the latter than the former.

PART 5: DAMNATION

As good as Sloan’s summation of his modus operandi on Welcome to the Basement was, I have my own go-to log line: von Trier’s story is the story of a man who got everything he wished for, but was still miserable. For the first part of his career, von Trier was determined to an almost psychotic degree to be seen as one of the great auteurs of cinema. Anyone who didn’t agree was the fucking enemy. When his 1991 film Europa, which was up for the Palme d’Or at Cannes, won the Jury Prize instead, von Trier lashed out, calling that year’s jury president, Roman Polanski, “the midget” during his acceptance speech, and later hurled his trophy into the French Riviera in anger. But then his luck began to change. His next film to play in competition, 1996’s Breaking the Waves, won the Grand Prix and was nominated for an Oscar, and 2000’s Dancer in the Dark finally won him his long sought after Palme d’Or. After years of angrily bashing the world cinema establishment over the head with his own inflated opinion of himself, von Trier was finally one of the most respected and discussed filmmakers of the day.

The thing is, once you’re on top, there’s only one way you can go. He never finished his proposed “Land of Opportunities” trilogy, completing only the first two installments, Dogville and Manderlay, both of which were met with mixed to negative reviews. Von Trier soon found himself spiraling into depression and alcoholism, twin demons that he has wrestled with cinematically over the course of the last decade. It would not surprise me if The House That Jack Built was von Trier’s final film. On one hand, it feels like the thesis statement, the grand summary, of what he’s been trying to say with all of his films. On the other hand, in recent interviews, the guy just looks terrible. He’s frail, he’s got the tremors, his hair is unwashed and ratty and his clothes look ill-fitting and dirty. Despite getting sober not long after the Melancholia press conference debacle, it’s clear that alcohol abuse has taken quite a toll on him. Perhaps its gauche and inappropriate to speculate from afar on von Trier’s mortality, but he’s already done it himself, by making The House That Jack Built.

EPILOGUE: FUTILITY

Now that I’ve reached the end of this jeremiad of a review, I have to wonder, what was it all for? You’ve probably already made up your mind about whether or not you’re going to see this film. You’ve probably already got a very strong opinion on Lars von Trier, both the man and his work. Some of you are probably judging me for even having paid money to see this film, which is your right. Odds are, whatever you think about this filmmaker and his films are not going to be swayed either way by anything I have to say. And even if you did want to experience The House That Jack Built like I did, you can’t: last night was the only night that von Trier’s “Unrated Director’s Cut,” the one that screened at Cannes, is going to be shown in theaters (a stunt that has apparently landed IFC Films in hot water with the MPAA), before an R-rated version is released next month. Was this a shameless promotional ploy? Yes. Did it still give us weirdo cinephiles the feeling that we were part of a super naughty super secret club? Absolutely. I didn’t know anyone in that dark and chilly corner of Greenpoint, but I feel connected to them for life, since we all went through this cinematic journey to Hell together. So, then, now that we’ve descended into the flames, how to describe The House That Jack Built? It is vibrant and stuffy and brilliant and maddening and hilarious and terrifying and pretentious and vulnerable and prescient and infuriating and awful and a masterpiece. In other words, it is a Lars von Trier film. You know what you’re getting yourself into.

#ANALOG SCUM #the house that jack built #lars von trier #ifc films #scum in the aisles #matt dillon #uma thurman #bruno ganz #siobhan fallon hogan #riley keough #horror #slasher #serial killer #gore #art house #world cinema #foreign film #cannes film festival #exploitation #cult #cult film #cult movie #brooklyn horror film festival #film noir cinema #directors cut

[cooloddball]

Someone submitted something in my inbox and they wanted to remain anonymous. Since this is an extremely long essay, I will put it under the cut. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

xxx submitted: hey, i was the one who ask what do you think of Misha and Jensen's current relationship First off all thank you for your answear it means much to me cause im easy to be convice and this person who keep telling me that they are no longer friends can be so convicing, so I'm actully trying to forget what she said 😅 so I'm just writing a few. she said that since they no longer work together, they will forget about each other, and do their common things like the gay jokes, face touches ect. With other people, and neglect each other, don't talk to each other, and then meet new people who will replace the other. And and she talked about the gish thing, she said she sure they didn't talk since the end of the series, because Jensen didn't know where Misha was and Misha didn't know about the Radio Company vol 2 (but i saw people say that, they were just pretending, because Misha liked something about Radio Company Vol 2, before the gish live, so in theory he already knew then or something like that) and She said Misha wrote a poem about Darius not Jensen and now I will write down what she sent me : I saw a post about Jensen's current activities on social media, and I've come to the conclusion the only person he doesn't interact with is mish. Sadly this makes my break up theory even stronger. I feel like this is a goodbye to one of the biggest parts of my life. They've moved on from "uk what I haven't told you today? That i love u"+ from "miss my only jensen" from "i love u misha i mean it from the bottom of my heart" from "jensen has no flaws" from "misha is the funniest thing ever happened to me" from all that love and affection from everything they developed together and now they're apart leaving their lives like nothing happened and call me a dramatic but they both have the same energy now as someone has after a big break up. and Jensen comments on almost every of his friend’s post except Misha’s"+ Jenmish is genuinely the best thing that has ever happened in my entire life. I owe them literally everything. They're the reason i hold on. Unfortunately on this essay i have to start using past tense verbs for them, and i have to continue on that. I don't know for how long y'all been in spn fandom. But even if u joined one year before the show ended you'd know how close and intimate jensen and misha were. Everything about them was unmatched.+ The chemistry and how they just fit eachother. They had always been all over eachother. Like they were holding on eachother for dear life. They completed eachother and were like world's most powerful thing. They were the definition of soulmatism. No matter where, they ALWAYS kept interacting with eachother. Each possible tweet or insta post. On cons that the other wasn't there, the other one would bring up the othere's name for no absolute reason. +The looks and repeated love confessions. How invested they were both into eachother. The family they had built together cuz we know how close dee and mish are (look all the charity work they've been doing together recently). There are youtube videos to proof everything I've said so far.When i say break up, my real intention is that they've grown apart. Everything started in the the third or forth month of pandemic. Before than jensen used to interact +(comment mostly) on almost all of misha's posts. But after a while everything just stopped. At first personally didn't care that much. Bcuz I believed too much in them that I thought not even the gods above could separate them. I told myself maybe they spend long hours chatting or video calling and that's why online public interactions are gone. But as it passed it almost diminished to zero. Except some likes from jackles and eventual ones from misha there weren't anything else.+ We got absolutely no content and the show went off too. We were helpless and were sticking to everything we had Dee had a big social media shot down, so as jensen. Misha was busy with the election. We got some interviews for it with all of them. But we didn't get much.except remember both of them pulling a bff

move. and texted eachother during an online con where everyone else were dead-serious about politics? That flickered something in me. That showed me that+ they can't ever possibly let eachother go. And the times everyone else were talking and these too would just talk random things together (the one jackels had a white hat on with stacy abraham).And then Misha posted that for jensen's bday We really overlooked it. That shit was too intimate. To close. Fav march baby? U just don't go around and called ur bestie baby and when u mean it deeply. Especially not when ur friend is jensen ackles the "I suffered form internalized homophobia my whole life+ but fuck my wife's an angel and i have an angel bf too and another angel which is his wife but I'd rather die than come out cuz my asshole dad pulled a John winchester on me". It doesn't work like that. But uk how mish is. Carefree and open. I believe they got into a fight bcuz of this. He didn't even like the post. AND that was when the tiny bit of interactions we had was gone too. For a while jensen didn't even liked his posts. After a month it started again.What made me finally believe in that they had grown too+ far: I still remember the night misha posted that he and jensen were going to have a con for gish together. I remember how hard I cried. Lile the whole world was given to me. But deep down in my heart I knew that something would definitely happen. It didn't sit right with me and unfortunately my senses never lie to me. Jensen showed up at the wrong time bcuz of misunderstanding the time zones (this was HILARIOUS). That's not even my point.+ I've seen that interview 3 times so far. It always reminds me of when i saw my ex at a party and we were both so thrilled to see eachother and we still loved the other dearly, but we just couldn't work it out. Jensen and Misha's expressions were EXACTLY the same. The genuine smiles and longs pauses were they just stared at eachother. I'm so happy that it was online cuz if they actually gave that looks to eachother standing right next to the other one I would've collapsed. Misha didn't know that jensen's album+ was out. And he got so embarrassed when he found it out. He didn't know that jensen was on set and hadn't been home for 8weeks. Jensen had no idea where misha was. And this means that they hadn't talked in a long long time.When you're that close with someone for more than a decade, i mean THAT close, even if u're separated from eachother you'd at least check on the once a week, or at least once in two weeks. But it was vividly clear that they hadn't. I hate how this world works. They would always be in my heart.+ I would be thankful from them for everything. It hurts, and it won't stop and im so sure I'd be carrying this pain for a long time. They mean too much to a lot of us. Sometimes I think to myself that god i love them so much. Remember in 2019 when we used to get SO many jenmishdee interactions? That was LIT. It was THEE year for us. I hope they're doing good. I really do. I hope we don't get more proofs and I won't have to update this thread. Cuz my heart won't be taking it very+ well.Something i gotta add U may say that Jensen's busy and that's why he doesn't comment. But he comments on a lot of jared and his new costar's posts. So that's no excuse. So yeah that's it. I don't know what am I supposed to think. english isn't my native language, so sorry for the mistakes

Here is my response:

I don't know who this person who has been talking to is but I have to say they seem to be project their previous relationship experience on cockles.

I believe Jensen and Misha are okay and are together. Social media likes and comments don't mean anything. I mean it's not like Jensen or Misha used to comment on each other's posts before. Jensen didn't even wish Dee Happy Mother's Day this year, does that mean they are not together anymore? Nope. He has other best friends he has known for over 20 years like Jason Manns, Steve Carlson etc that he doesn't wish happy birthday, does that mean they are not friends anymore.

Please let's not put value on social media likes. I don't even follow my own family on sm and I don't always like or comment on my bf's or bff's posts on sm. So it doesn't mean anything.

As for the Gish Panel, I have talked about it before, the time Jensen was slotted to attend the panel, he was meant to answer fan questions. I honestly believe they decided to not do it at that time because they knew the questions would be about Destiel and not their new projects. If you watched that panel, Misha knew that Jensen's album was out as I pointed out. He was just trying to promote the album and soldier boy. He knew Jensen had also buffed out. It was all to promote Jensen. Anything else you hear is trolls and antis just being loud. Also don't forget Jensen called him "babe".

If Jensen and Misha weren't okay, he wouldn't have attended or participated all those panels Misha organized especially for Gish. Danneel also posts a lot about RA and likes Misha's posts. I am 100% Misha visited the Ackles when he went to Colorado last month.

Stop listening to trolls and/or antis or just people who are projecting and look at facts.

#submissions #cockles

[hopefullystillatheatrestudent]

okay so i’ve been going crazy these past few days. all about cockles/jensmish and obsessively watching their panels or reading the transcripts BECAUSE. THEY ARE LOUD. LIKE. i saw some fancams on twt and i thought people were just exaggerating but noooooooooo!!!???? so, getting to the point. you said that how do we know that jensen is performing masculinity? because jared isn’t and THAT IS A BIG BRAIN MOMENT. ON POINT. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. a particular moment from gag reel that jumps out (which you’ve talked about) when jensen goes ‘cas, you are my baby daddy’ and misha goes, ‘i know i love you too’ and jensen goes, ‘i didn’t say i love you’ and misha goes, ‘i know you wanted to’ and jensen says, ‘i love you’ WHAT THE FUCK! that was NOT a joke. yes, people took it as a joke and had a good laugh BUT I HAVE WATCHED IT TOO MANY TIMES AND IT LIVES IN MY MIND RENT FREE BECAUSE IT WAS NOT A PERFORMANCE. THAT WAS JENSEN. THAT WAS MISHA. jensen has a had trouble with the pda and being all touch feely (the breakup theory) and he gradually grew into it, accepted it and misha was right there all along, never pushed it. it was like a deancas au but tbh, 99% of destiel is because of cockles and we all know it. i just. jensen has latched onto dean as an emotional support because he tunes with it. understands it. projects on to it. yeah, i just had to say it and get it off my chest. (and what about those poetry pages on instagram? alma? what is your opinion?) btw, you have a lovely blog and your analysis are right on target.

so there is a LOT i’m going to address here(how dare you bring up [gunshot] i HAVE to talk about it now) so again!!!! under a cut it goes but i hope you appreciate my rambles anon it seems like you do :,)

1. jared vs. jensen and performing masculinity. hell yeah man. jared and jensen are both just ‘guys from texas’ but they are still so vastly different. today i actually had a revelation that i’m pretty sure has to do with me being bi. and it’s that i have a group of straight friends(that i love dearly but they care too much about hockey and pitbull imo could not be me) and i have a group of queer friends(who are also batshit[affectionate]). and it’s like whichever group i hang out with a different side of me emerges? they’re both me, it’s just that certain aspects of who i am as a person only surface depending on who i am around. however, i will say i feel like i watch what i say around my straight friends more. i see that very clearly in jensen as well. around jared during panels and on set, he’s definitely putting on an air of machismo and engages in typical guy talk. i do think an element of it is performative, because he wants validation from jared that they’re still just two dudes from texas taking on the world together despite his sexual identity. does that make any sense??? i hope so. but when he’s with misha he is an entirely different person and his sense of humour becomes wildly different. the machismo fades away, he’s way less caught up in what people think about him, lets his guard down, etc. to go back to my original point which is how j2 are different in that regard....jared does not do this. he is a constant. he does not flip a switch between ‘performing masculinity’ and ‘not’ because he isn’t performing any part of who he is. he just IS. so yeah these two are similar in many regards but there’s somewhat of a dissonance between them when it comes to how they perform masculinity because one of them is putting on a show and the other is merely being.

2. that crypt scene blooper(here just in case you need to see it again. do it. as a treat.) when i tell you i have easily seen this over thirty times??? since it first came out??? i mean it. it is such an overlooked(r*mantic) moment and it means so much more than people think it does. i’ve talked about the context behind it, and i think that’s why this blooper was so meaningful, so i’ll mention it again. jensen and misha had a LOT of trouble with this scene. the reason is that jensen couldn’t wrap his head around why dean would be saying these things, if i remember correctly, and both of them sat down and scoured over how they should play it for a while before filming(teamwork ;) teammates *ahem*). [to be honest we all know why jensen had a hard time with that scene and it is because it is blatantly romantic. rip to him but i would simply give in to it at that point but oh well] so anyway, their heads were scattered going into shooting, which is NEVER a good headspace to be in for a scene, ESPECIALLY not a pivotal one. but they had each other to help them through said weird energy on set that couldn’t possibly have invoked the best feelings, especially considering jensen STILL doesn’t think he played that correctly(but he praised misha on his performance :,) ). and with that context every single part of that video hits haRD 

-’stop pulling my face towards your crotch’ i think this is objectively hilarious because it really really looks like jensen is pulling HIMSELF towards misha’s crotch. again, you’re fooling no one, jensen. misha’s wheezing laugh and the way he wraps himself around jensen is also,,,sweet??? like i don’t know how else to describe how i see it but this moment really reads as jensen, in his weird ‘constructing elaborate rituals’ way is asking for security through a physical touch from misha and he happily obliges and gives jensen what he needs. because i mean...watch it again. jensen ‘fights back’, but not really at all, actually. pretty wimpy counterattack. he literally lets himself be smothered by misha, and i would literally describe what they end up doing as cuddling. 

-’i need you, cas. you’re my baby daddy’ i love having an actor’s perspective on things bc i think i can explain what’s going on here. jensen just delivered what was(in his own mind) a rotten take of the lines he’s most scared of delivering. so the scene was already messed up. therefore; ensuing fuckery is warranted to help him feel better. but there’s also for sure more than meets the eye for what he says here because of misha’s reaction after??? like he seemed genuinely touched. first of all, he’s saying ‘you’re my baby daddy’ as half-jensen, but not necessarily dean either(because he didn’t say the previous lines as true to his character...you get it), to misha, not cas. i think i’ve made this point before, but every single innuendo in the gag reels is to misha specifically, never once cas. therefore; logical conclusion: ‘you’re my baby daddy’ was for misha and it meant something deeper than we think because of what follows it

-this part. jensen’s giddy ass smile after he sees misha crack and then misha says ‘yeah, i know’ (can i just say his voice when he says this is so intimate???? like am i intruding guys??? sorry i’ll let myself out) also he is smiling SO BIG

- ‘i know’ ‘why are you laughing?’ ‘no i know i love you too’ this analysis is already so long but i still want to get into what THAT whole exchange means. ‘why are you laughing?’ to me sounds like jensen’s pretending to be affronted by misha laughing at something that is serious. and it’s serious because he quite literally meant ‘i love you’. he did. misha knows it. misha’s really REALLY good at cutting the bs and just getting to what people are actually trying to say. he has an innate sharpness to his sense of humour. so yes, misha is being 100% accurate when he says ‘i know, but you wanted to say it.’ misha isn’t lying here. jensen did want and mean to say ‘i love you’. and then he actually does say it(in a jokey way but not really). 

- so yeah. it is actually so romantic??? like in a weird way jensen was professing his love for misha here?????? and that’s why this clip will NEVER. ever. get old. 

3. jensen having trouble with pda and projecting onto dean: we can all call ourselves dean coded cas girls but NO one deserves that title more than jensen ackles himself. he is dean winchester but marginally less repressed because he actually did admit he was in love with his best friend and let himself be happy, and pretty early on too. one year and two months as opposed to twelve years. so. happy deancas au is correct. and yes about the pda thing: one day i want to write my own post about both of their body language when it comes to each other, but all i can tell is jensen, even in the early days, couldn’t help himself from flirting with misha, but if misha ever crossed a line, jensen would not be happy. clearly he’s come around, however. what i find sweet is that misha always follows jensen’s lead when it comes to how much affection they’re allowed to show each other onstage. it touches my soul

4. destiel is cockles fault. yeah. and the thing is everyone knows it, too. even non-cockles shippers will explain early destiel as entirely dependant on jensen and misha’s wild chemistry. and that chemistry is easily explained by the fact that misha and jensen are literally just wildly horny bisexuals who were crazily attracted to one another and were falling in love on screen before our very eyes. and when you have THAT insider info(which sounds cray doesn’t it!!!! the destiel actors are in love irl??? huh???) everything really does click into place. why destiel got SO popular when the show and actors never ever intended for it to happen.(i know some people think misha was playing cas as gay the whole time for shits and giggles, and i won’t deny that[especially considering he found out early on that destiel was why he was staying on the show], but i don’t think he really wanted it to amount to anything, nor did he care??? i mean he has the real thing with jensen, for one, so their characters aren’t really as important. for two, he loves joking about destiel because it’s a cultural phenomenon and it’s fascinating, and i’m sure he did ship it because he’s unhinged, but i don’t think it was vastly important to him either way.) destiel got popular because everyone was and is unintentionally reading into the real deal. i could pull up countless gifs that people have used as destiel proof that is actually just jensen and misha being messy. mainly jensen. if i’m being honest.  the symbiotic relationship between destiel and cockles is why i’ve stayed onboard the destielcule and shellerscape for three solid months now; because it is utterly fascinating to witness and kind of super beautiful, too. 

5. alma(and others). so. i do NOT want to really REALLY get into this in its entirety here and now so i will just give you my opinion on if i think alma is misha or not. also; i don’t want to mention the other poetry accounts here bc i feel like that’s a bigger breach in privacy, but a lot of people do know about alma now. way too many, actually. this is why we can’t have nice things. anyway-to answer your question-there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that yes, misha is running that alma poetry account. i am 100% certain. some people think it’s actually three people and they’re all connected to misha in some way but that is so needlessly complicated. as it goes in psychology; the easiest explanation is probably the right one. it’s just one person running that account, and it is misha collins. i don’t know why it’s so hard to believe KNOWN POET misha collins(who is known to spend most of his free time writing poetry anyway) would have created a secret poetry account to write about his intense secret relationship under an alias and also get legitimate feedback since no one used to know it was him. oh and the handwriting is identical??? you are blind if you do not see that i am sorry. and a million other things prove it’s misha too but yeah all you need to know is yes. it’s him. it would take a literal livestream from a random woman on that account to convince me otherwise. and honestly not even that because a random woman could technically still log in if misha asked her too. so. it would take a hell of a lot to convince me otherwise, clearly. that said DO NOTTTTTTTTTTTT GO ONTO THAT ACCOUNT WITH A SUPERNATURAL RELATED USERNAME AND COMMENT THINGS THAT ARE COCKLES RELATED. ARE YOU BRAIN DEAD WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT’S OKAY. sorry i got heated but god please just don’t be dumb so many people have already gone way too far 

6. thank you for your lovely compliment on my analyses!!! i love doing them but i don’t know if people actually like reading them so i really appreciate it

#liz answers #cockles ask #mini analysis #spec #mine

[whengeorgiawentblue]

the piscture is not proof but old and a fake a manip you hellers are sad the ear is wrong a floating ear means is fake there was someone else there and photoshopped out of the picture and how do I know because Jensen doesn't like misha he likes jared and has more pictures of them tgether

Anon, there are 3 undeniable facts you should know (or maybe you already know but refuse to accept):

Jared is straight. He has no romantic or sexual feelings at all for Jensen or any other man. If you are fan of Jared and yet don't realise this, maybe your a fake fan.

Jensen and Misha are bisexual and are/haven been involved in a romantic relationship for many years, probably soon after the first time they met each other.

Jared knows that, and besides pranks and teasing them about that, he has been very supportive of Jensen and Misha relationship.

So the sooner you accept these facts, the better for your mental health.

Oh, by the way, and this is also a warning for my fellow hellers:

There have been speculation in the J2 fandom that Jared visited Jensen on his birthday, because (as far as I know) Jared said in the J2 panel that he was planning to go to Colorado for his marriage anniversary with Gen, which happened around end of february/beginning of march. Now, someone posted pictures of Jared in a sky resort in Colorado, the post dated the 28th of february. So, yeah, Jared was there (well, he actually said he was planning to go to Colorado, no surprise, Karen).

The thing is, I think it's very reasonable he (and Gen, please don't forget her) might have visited Jensen for his birthday, but didn't say anything in social media because Jensen was supposedly keeping the minimum social contact before going to Toronto to prevent covid.

And yet most of hellers including me would be like "ok, that's great! That's what friends/bros do. Nice to see they could enjoy some time together 😊". And then we keep going with our lifes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

However, the moment there's the bare minimum proof of Jensen loving Misha (and I don't mean as lovers, just as friends) i.e. the baby picture at the hospital, J2 shippers absolutely lose their shit and say that "Jensen actually hates Misha, the picture is a manip, it's for PR, it's just working related and nothing else". Nobody is asking you to accept they are lovers, but at least don't deny their friendship.

Why such a stark difference? Because cockles truthers, including me, know cockles is real. We don't know whether they are still together, we don't know whether they have been with other people besides their wives, we don't know how and when their affaire started. But we do know, that they have been in love for many years. It's a fact of life. We live in an universe where cockles is real. And no matter what J2 shippers say, that fact is not going to change.

Meanwhile, J2 shippers are always extremely deffensive and agressive, like a cornered animal, because they are extremely insecure about their ship, because in 15 years they haven't found a single hint that Jensen and Jared could be something more than just good friends. I suspect that, deep inside their minds, they know cockles is real and J2 love is just an illusion, but they refuse to see the truth.

So, anon, no matter how many hate anons you send to me and other cockles blogs, we are not going to change our minds. You are not going to change the Universe. Cockles is real, and it doesn't hurt, and it's good. Embrace the truth, and you'll be happier.

#cockles #jenmish #j2 #jensen ackles #misha collins #jared padalecki

[ozonecologne]

Hey! Love your blog. A question: out of all cockles panels (JIB & honcon) witch one do you think is the gayest?

This is such a tough question! 

Since we’ve gotten to see Jensen and Misha’s relationship develop over the course of about ten years, there are a lot of flavors of Gay to sort through! And it’s so hard to pick a favorite! 

JIB2: bABY GAY

Bad and awkward jokes, weird distance and stiffness, nervous fidgeting and adjusting, Jensen constantly reaching out for reassurance, basically “do you like me do you like me do you like me” on repeat, god he is so desperate, and a little possessive because it’s all just so new, Misha’s playing it cool but poking fun at Jensen is way too fun to pass up (he also does humor him quite a bit because, yeah, ok, he’s cute), tender, NEITHER ONE OF THEM KNOWS WHAT THEY’RE DOING BUT THEY’RE CLEARLY SMITTEN

Onstage orgasm??? Jensen has NO idea what to do with his face let alone the uncomfortable boner he’s sporting? “Am I turned on? Am I afraid? What is happening?”

THIS WAS THE BRACELET YEAR! They got each other matching jewelry? It’s so sickeningly high school I just - god, they’re so small. So innocent. So gay. Look at Jensen’s really bad hat.

It’s sweet and hilarious and also painfully embarrassing. Actual footage of Jensen and Misha today looking back on JIB2:

JIB3: Tense gay

This was a weird one because it’s the first Cockles panel after the alleged breakup. It’s probably my least favorite because nothing really Gay happens, but I do have to talk about it a liiiitle. There’s some distance between them and some awkward fumbling, but Jensen is trying REALLY HARD TO PUSH THROUGH and he even puts his bracelet from JIB2 on again, he’s extremely masculine and a little cocky (it’s very hot), it’s one of the really rare moments when Jensen takes control of a situation and pilots with his stage persona? Lots of “just dudes being guys” moments. Misha slowly thaws out and the mood improves but they’re not quite at a strong level of comfort yet. Weird moment when they no homo away Destiel that drags on for way too long, almost overcompensating.

Noteworthy: “We get a tingly feeling when we hear it so we know it’s you.”

JIB4: playful, charged dork nerds exploring their relationship

Best possible improvement after JIB3. Soft friendship, lots of blushing and “ums,” real shy and tender and a lot of tension that sneaks out in laughter and bad eye contact, which promptly gives way to wild energy and close hovering, stuttering and big smiles and adjusting, awkward gestures, constantly making fun of each other, pulling on pigtails and clumsy teasing, a kind of self-consciousness runs through everything but they are sweet and steady and push each other past the discomfort, so much sexual tension

THE WHOLE RESUME BATTLE DEBACLE???? Will there ever be anything more iconic than this? Utterly ridiculous, the ultimate flirty pigtail pulling

Flowers??? Most gay.

Honestly so flamboyant and funny this is where they start to really get comfortable with each other and it only gets better from here

JIB5 is like…. honeymooning Married And In Love gay

SO VERY GIGGLY, really dumb gags, soooo smiley!!! it’s actually stupid!!!, bodies under extreme gravitational pull like seriously they are constantly moving into each others’ space, HIP CHECKS!!!, reminiscing onstage together, no blushing just chill and happy and playful and secure in each other and themselves, heart eyes to the extreme

mayday, mayday!!!! man down!!!!!!

other highlights include:

THE ONSTAGE KISS THAT WASN’T EVEN PART OF THE COCKLES PANEL

Actually, I forgot, there were TWO onstage kisses, the other one happened when Misha uninvited just hopped up on the stage with Jensen and kissed him right on the cheek

It was so gay that I actually wrote a fic about it

This has nothing to do with anything but they both look so good. Jensen’s hair and Misha’s shirt (the color!!!) and he’s tan and they color coordinate and they’re so happy and ugh I just love it. One of the most aesthetically pleasing panels even if Mish is a string bean

JIB6: Ultimate Soft Dad gay

Comfort, easiness, not extraordinarily Gay™ but clear love there. Very family oriented with a hint of dirtiness? They keep the romance alive but their lives are so much richer and fuller and they’ve come together over it, you know what I’m just going to start listing things you’ll get the idea

“My friend and protector”

“Save it for when we take our pants off” *Jensen reaches for his belt*

bulldozing and steamrolling over one another, Jensen flat out ignoring Misha for several minutes to talk about his own thing, much to Misha’s annoyance

they literally go on for 15 minutes unprovoked in their own little world before realizing that they should probably take questions, “i think this is just two idiots up here talking”

big laughs big laughs everything is hilarious jensen is such a disaster

touching

drinking “apple juice” with their faces on their knees side by side

tum tum tum tum tu mtu tmutmtut mmm m SHOWIN’ OFF THE DAD BOD. JEN IS WELL FED AND GLOWING.

Misha: “In one slight flip of the wrist, you just sold out Jus in Bello 2016”

Misha leans in and smells Jensen’s armpit and Jensen just stands still? and lets him? what kind of weird domestic bullshit…….

“Jensen doesn’t have any annoying qualities”

Riding innuendos

some actually really great JMDV content

Dad talk! Talking about kids and poop! Together!

Dad dancing, I’m cringing, I’m upset

JIB7: settled down, quiet but steady gay

A Good Mood, composed but really no fucks given, the throes of sexual passion have left them behind to be replaced by soft introductions and quiet comfort in each others’ space, overflowing compliments but also constant poking fun at each other, reading each others’ minds, silent communication, in sync and slowly getting closer and closer together, sass, innuendos like you would NOT BELIEVE and from MINUTE ONE, but then they also get excited talking about…. phone plans and saving money, commiserating about being old and bitter together, rambling, oh no, much more chill than last year

Misha’s full bodied laughter, kicks his actual feet up in the air so we see the bottoms of his shoes

Guitar playing :(

Both influence and When Harry Met Sally making… a comeback

Jensen swearing more than once, two F-bombs

“I TURN MY BACK FOR TWO MINUTES”

JIB8: a disaster, chaotic gay, objectively PEAK Gay

y’all. listen. wild ride from start to finish. just watch it.

Jensen got drunk and flashed Misha onstage what more do you even need to know

he was a gOD DAMN MESS it’s SO GLORIOUS

HonCon 2017: I don’t even know what this is

it literally just happened so bear with me if this is incoherent but we got about 40 minutes - not even a full hour!! - in which Jensen Ackles told the story of when he first realized he was in love with Misha Collins while wearing matching shirts that he bought for the two of them and it’s so……… unbelievable. i honestly don’t have enough critical emotional distance at this point to rate this in comparison to other cockles panels but i know without a doubt that this moment will go down in my book as one of the absolute best ones

So how is one expected to choose!!! They are all gay and all terrible!!!! We’ve gotten to see an entire spectrum of relationship development, from crush to starting over to securely together to honeymooned to new dads to Old Dads. It’s incredibly rewarding and all you have to do is pick out your favorite stage of the relationship to get your best answer.

Of all of these though, I have to say that JIB4 and JIB8 are probably my favorites, with JIB5 and JIB6 also being a very strong contenders. I like the panels that show off Jensen and Misha’s friendship first, the moments where they can really let loose and just be silly with each other without reservations, whatever form that takes. I live for that.

SORRY I DIDN’T REALLY ANSWER YOUR QUESTION AND I DEFINITELY WENT ON SEVERAL TANGENTS OH WELL

#yikes i am so sorry this got WAY out of hand #cockles #replies #anon #long post #faq

[the-real-anywolf]

Upcoming Fics and Yes, We MET!!

Frankie here: So, we noticed that there were quite a few comments from you awesome llamas on our most recent fic as part of the DCRB (These Waves are Mine) concerned about our radio silence. It wasn’t intentional, we’ve been writing a LOT. We’ve currently got eight (yes EIGHT) completed fics in the beta process right now, including one that will be posted next week as part of the Dystopian Bang. We’re also almost finished with the Playing With Fire sequel. So over the next couple of months, you will be getting a lot of stuff from us, and Hell, I think the shortest fic is 5k.

Any here: As y'all know we love to experiment with tropes, challenge ourselves and try out new different things. And we have a lot of "different" (Yes, I'm doing the air quotes with my fingers) coming down the road! Things we hadn't expected to happen!

But yeah at the moment we working hard on the Playing With Fire Series. So this will be finished before our sequel for In A Mirror, Darkly. I know y'all can't wait to read that but yeah there is a lot of story and work going into the sequel. So this just takes some time.

I'm especially proud of a little short story that's coming up soon, because we wrote the story from a new POV. Thinking of that story... we sometimes write nods to other fanfics that we wrote. So if you read all the new upcoming fics you might notice some fun innuendos.

I'm also super excited to upload our fic for DYSTOPIA!! *happy dance* Oh and we take part in the DCBB again!! Although this seems like still being ages away.

Frankie here: Gimme a minute. I’m still dying over you using the word: y’all. I’ve clearly been a TERRIBLE influence on you.

Any here: I WATCHED TOO MANY JARED VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE! I TOTALLY BLAME JARED! The guy is so funny I could watch him for ages *lol*

Frankie here: I second that emotion. Unlike some shippers, I’m all about adding Jared to cockles panels. Hell, all of them. Can we sign a petition to force Jared to jump in on all the panels? lolol.

Any here: LOL. I'm usually not on tumblr or twitter that much but I noticed that little war. *eyeroll*. I'm glad I only know shipper that are TEAM FREE WILL 2.0. REAL FANS DON'T EXCLUDE. PERIOD. (besides: with all the posts about Jared being shipper #1 and the amount of cockles/destiel stuff we got because of him, that really came as a surprise to me.)

Frankie here: Yeah, I saw one cunty post where a girl was making comparisons of Jared jumping in on the JIBcon cockles panel - to how you save up to buy a diamond, you’re super excited about the diamond, and you leave the jewelry store with a ruby. Someone responded with the best fucking call out: well, be grateful you can even afford a ruby, cuz not all of us can. There’s a lot of privilege when it comes to this fandom, and annoyingly so. I remember I was at the SF convention the year Jensen’s twins were born, like they were literally born the weekend of this convention and I overheard several fans say, “He BETTER show up.”

I said I hope he didn’t and stayed at home with his family just to spite them. He showed though, but still. I’ll say it once and only once, they do a lot for their fans, they do a lot for their community, so be decent fucking humans about everything and not ungrateful fucking brats. Lol. Anyway. We got (and by we, I mean me) a little off topic, what were we doing again?

Any here: Promoting upcoming projects and OHHH TALK ABOUT YOUR TRIP TO EUROPE!!!!! CUZ WE'VE MET IN JANUARY!!!! Here is the PROOF *lol*:

Frankie here: Any tried to keep me. Like really tried and I really wanted to stay. If only for couch cuddles and her husband’s cooking. LOL. And shit, I just realized the cuddles might be misleading, cuz I’m pretty sure some of our readers ship us.

Any here: Did you just try to correct your own accidentally queerbaiting? LOL. Do we even have a ship name? If we don't have a ship name no one ships us, right? I think we're safe.... I just realized I shouldn't have said this, because I know a few of you probably comment this with a ship name for us, right? You know who you are! *makes squinty eyes*

Frankie here: UGH our ship name is probably FRANY and just NO. NO NO NO. Don’t you fuckers do it. lol.

Any here: Well they don’t have to anymore. You already did it. Now we’re doomed! lol

Frankie here: Fuck. Ah well, anyway, Any dragged me to some cool ass places, including a chocolate factory! And a pub with board games, in which I introduced her to the beloved Cards Against Humanity and she introduced me to the best fucking game ever, “Halt Mal Kurz” or some german shit. Anyway, you get to slap Nazis in it, so A+++++++ game.

Any here: You can also slap the police because they look like Nazis… although that has bad consequences. Oh man, fuck, that was a fucking funny night.

Frankie here: Yeah it was. Goddamnit I miss you. We need to do that again. And I have legit introduced so many americans to this brilliant game. We also got to watch the Wayward Sisters pilot live together, which was AWESOME.

Any here: Watching SPN with someone who is a crazy as I am was fucking amazing and we celebrated that pilot so hard. We already started shipping Claire with Kaia... Oh man, this series could have been so brilliant if stupid CW had picked it up. I'm glad the story will get resolved in SPN though! (Also I’m still working on my evil plan to lure you back to Europe forever *muahahahahahahha* I mean seriously… who wants to live in a country with a orange assbutt as a president? Sure you have better weather and all but we have a health insurance that pays for almost everything)

Frankie here: Yeah, the more shit that orange psycho rapist racist lunatic keeps pulling, the less I want to stay in this country, but seeing as I’m an immigrant, I’m sure I’ll be deported sooner rather than later. Ugh. Anyway, yes, it was awesome watching it with someone who squealed at the same points I did, and HELL YES CLAIRE KAIA. Ahem. Anyway, yes! Sorry to our amazing and awesome readers and followers who were worried about our radio silence, it’s because we’re writing like maniacs. Hell, we’re working on the D&S series while we work on this blog update, if that gives you an idea. LOL. Anyway, we love you guys. And we can’t wait to see what y’all think of our upcoming stuff!!

Any here: Writing maniacs is so accurate. We sometimes write on 3 fanfics at the same time… But yeah, we’re still here, still writing and ditto to what Frankie said. Can’t wait for all the babies to go online :D

Frankie here: Yes! So much love and and fluffy destiel hugs and all that Jazz. Although it’s us, so more like fluffy destiel smut. ❤️❤️

Any here: Eeeek that reminds me of that smut fest we wrote that is also finished and in the beta stage.... Okay I shut up now and YEAH HAPPY DESTIEL FLUFFY HUGS from me too :D <3

#frankie and any #Destiel #we're here #don't worry guys #just busy writing #all the fanfics

[breaking-up-with-cockles]

Tinhatting Cockles like a Boss - like a G0$$ B0$$

So Misha did a livestream for his death2normalcy Valentine’s Day sale yesterday, and as a cockles tinhat, I think I would be remiss if I did not consider that Jensen is somehow involved. I will even go one step further and postulate that Misha was lying when he said the screaming came from one of the grandmothers. 

Ok so first of all I think that this D2N Valentine’s Day sale is about Jensen because yeah I’ma crazy tinhat but it’s freaking Valentines. But also because I think Misha and Jensen disagree when it comes to keeping their relationship secret. This might seem random but bear with me. At SPNHON (when they were broken up blah blah blah), the last question of the cockles panel was about gishwhes and after Misha tells the story about Jensen finding his skittles portrait, he pivots to another skittles portrait story that I don’t think Misha has ever told before:

So that year, this friend of mine actually was on a gishwhes team and he made a Jensen - he never watched supernatural he had no idea - but he made a Jensen Ackles’ mosaic portrait in Skittles and he was like “I’m certainly not gonna hang this up in my place so I thought you should have it” and I was like “oh thanks” and I stuck it in the closet. And then Vicki was like -a few months later she was like , “We have to get rid of that Jensen Skittle thing because rats are eating the candies off of it and it’s attracting rats.”

Ok I think I need to post a video because imo it looks like the story was fabricated by Misha in an effort to hurt Jensen while making a point and that’s important. When you’re angry and in a high emotional state, you are gonna say shit that’s true and shit that hurts. And yeah I know most cockles shippers think this was a great panel, but nah. Misha’s story starts at 34:16. If you watch before or after this part when the band comes on stage, you can see how teary eyed both Misha and Jensen are. Especially Misha doing everything he could to keep the emotion from escalating. Honestly, I don’t see how people can see this panel and think that they were in a good place. It’s painful.

Anyways, so this is all about The Closet™. Yep, that closet. Because Jensen wants their relationship to stay secret and while in the closet, they can’t openly be as affectionate as they would probably like, which means that it’s easier for people to think Misha is available which gives him more opportunity to stray since not everyone is aware of their relationship. I’m not blaming Jensen or giving Misha an excuse, I’m just reasoning that the more temptation there is, the harder it is to resist. So I think one thing that maybe Misha is saying, is that because Jensen is in the closet, he is gonna attract cheating rats like Misha. He could also be saying that because Jensen wants to stay closeted, Misha (and Vicki?) think they should toss Jensen and break up because they only get the little bits of Jensen anyways rather than the whole guy. So maybe this was like a retaliatory breakup for Misha, if true. One of those “you can’t break up with me! I’m breaking up with you!”. So I think this closet conversation is possibly a point of contention for them. This closet thing from SPNHON came back to me because of the D2N email they sent out a week ago.

The closet in Hawaii had some serious negative connotation, but the way that Misha is using it here, is diametrically different. Here with D2N, the closet is associated with 7 minutes, which was probably intended to remind us of that teenage party game where two people make-out in a closet for 7 minutes. The game is called 7 Minutes in Heaven. Cute and relevant. And since this is set to go down on Valentine’s day, then almost certainly Misha wanted us to think of sexy closet time.  But with Valentine’s I also think of cupids, which reminds me of angels, which reminds me of heaven. Cool. 7 Minutes of Heaven. Just kidding, I thought cupi-Cas, which reminds me of Cas’s original personal heaven from season 9, a room full of pics of naked Deans. Maybe this is Misha’s personal heaven too. Being a in a closet with naked Dean/Jensen. 

But then Misha throws me when he keeps reiterating in the D2N video and on twitter that “loving someone means letting go” and “when you love something, set it free”. Oh god is this another cockles breakup.Of course my negative filter, thinks he’s talking about letting Jensen go but would he do that on Valentine’s Day? Maybe. Misha is pretty twisted but I don’t think he is cruel. Plus, I have seen what broken-hearted Jensen and Misha look like and how they behave, particularly when their relationship has blown up, and I just don’t see the Misha from his D2N video as the lovelorn one from late last year. But I could be wrong.

However, even though my default is to go negative, I am actually more hopeful. The dreamer in me is hoping that this whole D2N thing was making way for Jensen and Misha to say goodbye to the closet and for them to finally be open with their love. Death to the closet. Death to normalcy. Hello motto. Hello to polyamory. That would be freaking amazing but yeah that’s definitely not gonna happen (yet). And I don’t really need or care if they’re public with their relationship, but I don’t want my babies fighting. I actually wonder if maybe that’s where gishwhes was gonna go this year till Misha blew it. Like it was gonna be some elaborate coming out celebration/scavenger hunt, but since they broke up, they had to call off that plan and Misha decided to go ahead and stick with the same tried and true gishwhes formula. Oh man, I wish. But the truth is, I don’t think Jensen and Misha are gonna come out on Valentines Day but I will be more shocked if this D2N thing is about a breakup rather than if its some next level flirting on Misha’s part. I mean c’mon! He is selling a mixtape. 

So that was crazy the first. Crazy the second is that I’m not actually convinced that it was a grandmother at Misha’s door. I have no real proof for this (as if I ever do) except that when Danneel posted ❤🌏🌚🌏 in response to one of Misha’s instagrams on saturday the 10th, my eighth thought was that she meant “see you in two days”. The little moon guy signifies night and the rotation of the earth. So when Misha had visitors at his house that he was desperately hiding from us, in my crazy tinhat head, it was the Ackles family and everything was all coming together. Here is Misha’s D2N video.

Here is my stellar logic though. Yes, it could have been a grandmother but he has already introduced us to both of them. We met Vicki’s mom in Hawaii and Misha has never been too shy with showing off his parents. I think he had a a gishwhes meet-up in Bellingham for his mother’s bday in 2016 where tons of fans socialized with her. It just doesn’t make sense to me that he would suddenly want to exclude them (unless they asked for that which is a possibility) when he films pretty much anyone that is there. But this is flawed because i have no idea if he asks permission from the people and the parents of everyone he films beforehand. But no doubt, both Misha’s and Vicki’s respective mothers know Misha well enough to know he’s quirky and he records a lot of videos. Ok I admit this is a weak argument. But what about Misha’s reaction when his wind-chime/doorbell rang, before the screaming even began? Why would he frantically run upstairs away from his mom or MIL? I mean, Misha booked it, two steps at a time. 

And then there was that weird thing he said after he ran upstairs and closed the door.  He said:

What else do I need to tell you. I mean that may be it. It’s valentines day. They say -  I mean really that’s the problem with live video. Someone walks through the front door and starts screaming and it’s all - it’s captured for everyone to see. Something terrible is gonna happen eventually.

But how is having one of the mothers/grandmother’s accidentally walk in on a live video terrible? How many times have we seen glimpses or flashes of people that we have known and not known in his videos? Would he define those as something terrible? Considering he hasn’t, probably not. However, even though I have begged and prayed for a revealing accidental cockles moment in one of Misha’s videos, as amazing and life-saving as that would be for me and for the world, I can see how that could be “something terrible” for Misha and Jensen and maybe even their families. But imo family time with a shrieking grandmother does not compare to "something terrible”. It is actually a rather odd, harmless time for Misha to suddenly realize the risks of livestreaming. He has streamed dozens of live videos of his family, one where someone even farted. These are not uncommon occurrences for him yet we are supposed to believe that this ordinary standard loud family gathering with grandma is the eye-opening incident that shines a light on the hazards of livestreaming that he never considered before. Sure, Jan. The incongruity or just plain absurdity of his grandmothers visit warranting a “something terrible” is so weird and it makes it suspicious for some kind of deception. 

Plus Misha was way too urgent and nervous when he ran upstairs. He definitely did not want us to see who his visitors were. He was also talking and stomping on the stairs while his visitors were loudly greeting each other in the background. He definitely did not want us to hear who his visitors were. Now this is my favorite part. Even though he was hiding us or his visitors, he was having a good time doing it but I don't think he wanted us to know that. He was trying not to smile. He was suppressing smiles when he was running up the stairs and for a lot of the second half of the video but especially when discussing the dangers of live streaming. The suppressed smile on the stairs actually makes sense because it could have been because he was probably happy and excited about seeing his visitors and/or finding humor in the whole ridiculous situation. It could be for other various reasons, including the one I am about to talk about, but you can’t be sure because the loud women were legitimately funny, thus smiling is an appropriate display. But the smile that he tried to suppress that slipped out in his “something terrible” speech was a different kind of suppressed smile. I believe he was displaying something known in the nonverbal world as duping delight.

Duping delight is when a smile leaks out when we fool or dupe someone with a lie, partial truth or when we are withholding information, like a secret. Some people subconsciously or semi-consciously occasionally take delight in such a ruse and obviously a suppressed smile is indicative of that pleasure and thrill they experience in tricking others or in doing some other act of deception. But this smile has to be out of place and inappropriate and since there was nothing else going on that would normally produce a smile (like the loud ladies), and because he did display a cluster of other deceptive body signals along with his duping delight, I really do think he was delighting in his clever deceptions. But was he all that successful? Because as hard as Misha tried not to show his joy in deceiving us, he just couldn’t completely shut it down. But that’s understandable if it were actually “something terrible” as Jensen and his brood that he was trying to keep secret. I would be delighting so fucking much in that dupe, too, if I were that lucky. 

#misha you little imp i love you #cockles #wtf are you up to? #i love this theorizing brainstorming shit #im not sold on anything but i do enjoy trying to figure these guys out

[welllpthisishappening]

Hi! So, I have a promt for u, but first a little backstory: I’m from Spain, and I remember when I worked at my parents shop and there were this bracelets everybody was CRAZY about one summer, as in every day ten people would come in asking for them, because Sara Carbonero -sports reporter and Iker Casillas, goalie for the football national team, gf - wore them. It was after Spain son the word cup in 2010. Look into them, there was a very cute kiss. So, prompt: Emma starts a trend with her laces?

Hey, hi, hello there! This has been sitting in my inbox for a millennia and I am so, so sorry for that. I am also so, so sorry because this is not exactly the prompt you asked for. There are laces involved and some dad!Killian feels and, like, New Year’s Eve somehow? It’s a mess of fluff, honestly. 

Anyway, 2018 has been some kind of something for just about everyone and I can’t say I’m not excited to see it go. I’ve spent a lot of time stress-writing fic, particularly, hockey fic and I know that there are other hockey stories out there and other Rangers stories out there, but it genuinely warms the cockles of my entire soul that you guys continue to have thoughts and feelings about these Rangers and this ridiculous hockey team. This is (clearly) my favorite ‘verse to write in and it’s kind of my spot to write when everything else is nonsense. 

It is a joy to write these stories and a thrill that anyone wants to read them. I wish you guys nothing but the absolute best in 2019 and maybe the Rangers can keep winning in regulation. 

“Hit him, hit him, hit him.”

Killian leaned back, resting his head against the door as it closed behind him and the voice on the other side of the apartment was barely audible. It was, however, fairly determined.

Or as determined as a voice could be when, presumably, watching a replay of the game he’d finished playing in a few hours before.

“C’mon, hit him,” Emma hissed, and he liked to imagine that there was some hand flailing going on as well. Of course, he’d be able to confirm that if he moved, but every single inch of him was sore and tired and he had, in fact, played a hockey game a few hours before. “Oh my God,” Emma continued, a thump that might have been most of her body weight dropping back onto the couch. She’d been pacing.

Killian moved.

The floor creaked underneath him, toeing out of his shoes and kicking his equipment bag further into the corner. He didn’t take his jacket off.

And Emma was slumped in the middle of the couch, hair splayed out behind her and a distinct lack of pants on.

He felt his eyes bug.

She didn’t stop watching the game.

“Why do you not know how to get the puck out of the zone?”

Killian tilted his head. “Me specifically?”

“You in the general sense of the entire New York Rangers franchise,” she amended. “But mostly Phillip. Especially Phillip—God, get it out.”

“They don’t score here, you know.”

“Hey, c’mon, don’t spoil it.”

He scoffed, loosening the tie around his neck and glancing at the rather impressive arrangement of only recently-built baby furniture in the corner of the room. “Sleeping,” Emma mumbled, answering a question he hadn’t asked. “Only just. Which is why I don’t want you to spoil the game for me. We didn’t see, well, much of any of it, honestly.”

“Wasn’t interested in watching in real time, huh?”

Emma made a noise – not quite dismissive, but slightly exhausted and it may have had more to do with the Rangers inability to clear the puck in the opening minutes of the first period than the sleeping habits of Margaret. Who, it seemed, in her first few days of existence was bound and determined to drive both of her parents crazy.

And, maybe, terrify them just a bit. That may have just been Killian. Because he’d been the one who’d spent most of the night pacing in a hospital hallway and they’d only just gotten back from D.C. and he wasn’t sure he’d taken a deep breath the entire time, several medical terms bouncing between his ears and around his heart and—

“Shoot!”

His eyes flickered back towards the screen, the puck on his stick and he didn’t shoot. Emma mumbled several rather impressive curses under her breath.

“Where did you expect me to shoot there?” Killian asked, and Emma rolled her eyes. And shrugged. And made that noise again.

“I really have no idea,” she admitted, nodding towards the few inches of space to her left. And it only took a moment for the metaphorical light bulb to go off over her head, a few blinks and a quirk of her lips that never failed to make his heart sputter just a bit against his rib cage and it was fine.

She was fine.

Margaret was fine.

They were fine.

It was New Year’s Eve. He wasn’t sure how that factored into it, but he was certain it had to mean something good.

They’d won the game.

Killian didn’t say that. Spoilers or something.

“You don’t have to watch this, love,” Killian said, another laugh when Emma mumbled something that sounded distinctly like take your coat off, God under her breath. He nudged her up slightly with his shoulder, shifting until he was almost comfortable and he wasn’t really surprised when she curled against his side, head on his thigh and arm draped across him.

He let his fingers move through her hair. She sighed.

“I want to. I’m just—when’s the last time I showered?”

It would have been absolutely impossible to kiss her – a ridiculous twist of his body that would have infuriated Ariel when it inevitably did something drastic to his back, but Killian made an effort and Emma burrowed further against him, a solid weight of warmth and certainty and fine that he kept reminding himself of.

Even when he was on the ice.

Maybe that’s why he hadn’t taken the shot.

“You can do that now, Swan,” Killian muttered, fingers still moving as his gaze darted from the game to the somehow-still sleeping infant on the other side of the room. “I promise I’ll be able to tell you what happened in the game.”

She laughed softly, the sound pressed into his pants and, like, his entire soul. He knew he couldn’t actually feel her smile, but it was comforting to imagine, particularly when Emma tugged her legs up under her, a bundle of limbs and that distinct lack of pants.

“How’d you get out of post?”

“Where are your pants?”

“I promise, your story is way more interesting,” Emma said, and he could hear the smile. “Seriously though, did Phillip just—forget how to pass?”

“Arthur broke a whiteboard on that one.”

“Maybe you’re too fast, honestly.”

“I think that’s a compliment,” Killian pointed out. “Don’t put pants on, ok?”

Her answering laugh had a distinct air of exhaustion to it, but there was a hint of something that may have been happiness and two kids and he did eventually take a shot that went into the back of the net. He kind of wanted to watch Emma watch that.

What a weirdo.

Margaret made a noise in the crib – both Killian and Emma’s head snapping towards the sound. He dug his teeth into his lip, barely daring to blink, let alone breathe and—

“Nothing,” Emma mumbled after five seconds that felt like five impossibly long lifetimes. “You going to answer the question though?”

“About Phillip’s inability to pass in the neutral zone?”

“And the board work. God, tell Arthur to practice that tomorrow. There are drills for that, right?”

Killian nodded. “Several thousand, I’d imagine. Was that honestly the question?”

“How’d you get out of post?”

“I did not totally get out of post,” he said, clicking his tongue when Scarlet was whistled for slashing. “They score here.”

Emma groaned. “Oh my God. What did we say about spoilers?”

“I’m really not sure you’re going to make it to the end of the game, Swan.”

“You doing are an absolutely horrible job of deflecting this conversation, you know. I’m going to tell Rubes.”

“I think she’s a little preoccupied with some other things.”

Emma lifted her head, an awkward twist to her neck that Killian would have mentioned if he wasn’t admittedly distracted by the pull of her eyebrows and whatever she was doing with her mouth. Twisting it or something. It was probably because of the pants thing, honestly. And the baby. He was a mess of human emotions and feelings and come-from-behind victories.

And blowing off post.

Kind of.

“Did Ruby sneak you out of post?”

“There was no sneaking involved,” Killian promised, groaning softly when Emma swung her legs over his. She kissed his cheek. “Ask Lucas. We just walked out.”

“Sticking it to the system and the NHL’s player policy, huh? Did you see Mattie?”

“That was part of the reason for leaving.”

“Ah, you can’t say stuff like that, I’m definitely still all hormonal.”

“I mean if you’re going to swoon over my paternal tendencies, I’m not going to stop you.”

“Did he go in the locker room?”

“Nearly ran me over to get in there,” Killian grinned, and it was easier to press a kiss to her temple now. “Told me I played really fast—“

“—I told you!”

Killian hummed. “Wait until the second period,” he murmured against Emma’s hair, laughing slightly when she swore again. “Anyway, he ran me over, nearly broke several sticks, charmed the whole place and presumably left with Locksley, according to the plan.”

“Presumably.”

“I’d imagine it took some time to get out of there. He had several thoughts about Phillip as well. Although yours are a little more coarse, love.”

“Yeah, well, if the three-year-old starts swearing in Norwegian, we might have bigger problems on our hands than whatever fine you’re going to get.”

“I’m not going to get fined.”

“No?”

Killian shook his head. “Lucas was certain it’d work. Plus, I didn’t even score the game-winner.”

“The spoilers,” Emma growled, swatting at his chest and scrunching her nose when he wrapped his fingers around her wrist. She exhaled when he kissed her knuckles, quick presses of his lips across the back of her hand and towards her wrist and that was part of the reason too.

Her very bare wrist.

“It’s almost the second period,” Killian reasoned, nodding back towards the TV.

“There are ten minutes left in the first.”

He groaned when Emma dug the hell of her hand into his stomach again, snapping up as soon as the announcer’s voices picked up and it was ridiculous. The whole goddamn thing – because there was a three-year-old with incredibly pointed hockey opinions and a baby that he’d been calling Peggy when they were by themselves and he’d been so goddamn nervous, terrified, a pacing, frustrated mess who’d only sat down because Regina had told him, somewhere in the realm of four in the morning, that he was going to do permanent damage to both of your hamstrings. But there had been so many machines and everything kept beeping and—

“Hey,” Emma muttered, tugging lightly on the tie he’d forgotten he was still wearing. “What just happened?”

“What?”

“You got all distant. Were you also thinking about how shitty Phillip is playing in this game.”

“No.”

“Oh, that was a much quicker objection than I was expecting,” Emma said, one side of her mouth tilting up into something that was almost a smile. It probably would have been if the bags under her eyes weren’t quite so obvious and there wasn’t still a slight tinge to her skin, not quite grey, but not quite flushed and Killian pressed his lips to her forehead before he considered all the reasons he didn’t have to.

“I really love that you think that,” Killian mumbled. He didn’t move his head. He was totally going to keep calling the baby Peggy.

“Think what? Are you speaking in tongues? Because I really can’t remember when I showered last and the pants thing was this whole disaster, so it’s not—“

“You really don’t have to put pants back on.”

It was a real smile that time. “Noted. What do you love? And seriously why did you walk out of post?”

“You.”

He hadn’t meant for it to sound quite like a promise or a pledge or several thousand statements on the record that would spark several more thousand internet clicks, but that’s what it was and what it always had been and Emma’s tongue darted between her lips.

“Always,” Killian added softly, brushing his thumb over the curve of her jaw. “And on both fronts. I, well—it’s a little late, but…”

It wasn’t easy to shift both of them – exhaustion and post-game bumps and bruises, but Emma moved as soon as she realized what was going on, a hint of curiosity in the pinch between her eyebrows. “We were kind of busy around Christmas,” he added, tugging the laces out of his pocket and Emma might have gasped.

Her hand flew to her mouth, so it was kind of hard to tell.

“No way,” Emma mumbled into her palm, and Killian had to blink so he didn’t feel as if every single human emotion he was currently feeling overwhelmed him entirely. “Oh that is so…stupid.”

Killian’s whole body moved when he laughed, loud enough that his eyes darted towards the crib again. Nothing. “Stupid?” he echoed, Emma nodding before he’d even finished the word.

“So stupid. It’s—I can’t believe…no, that’s totally a lie. I knew you were going to do it, as soon as Mattie broke the last ones.”

“That’s kind of disappointing, honestly. I don’t want my game to be so one-dimensional.”

“Far too confident in your own humor.”

“That was funny, Swan, admit it,” Killian said, nosing at her cheek until he felt the end of her lips tick up. “And I didn’t really think about it after Mattie broke ‘em.”

“No?”

“No.”

It had been an accident – a few months before and a very enthusiastic kid who was very excited at the prospect of camp and trying to get on the ice and Emma had lunged, doing her best to keep him off that very same ice when there was an actual practice going on and the second pair of laces snapped in rather dramatic fashion in Tarrytown.

She’d promised there was some kind of relationship irony to that.

But then there’d been a season and Emma had been pregnant and there’d been games and skates and the thought of replacing laces hadn’t even occurred to Killian until he was pacing out a small semicircle in a hospital room, a dozing infant in his arms and mumbled words falling out of his lips and he stopped as soon as he saw the distinct lack of anything on his wife’s left wrist.

So a plan was formed.

Kind of.

There were still games, after all. And a baby.

“I wanted to have it for Christmas,” Killian said, voice dropping of its own accord and the first period was over. “But that got—“

The words caught in his throat, lips suddenly dry and eyes far too wide to be healthy. Emma shifted, twisting until she had either one of her legs on the side of his hips and he refused to be held accountable for whatever sound he made as soon as her fingers moved through his hair.

He closed his eyes.

“You know you keep calling her Peggy when you think I can’t hear you.”

He smiled. “Are you stalking me, Swan?”

“Only because I’m super attracted to your paternal tendencies. It’s almost getting ridiculous.”

“Seriously, do not put pants on for the rest of the night.”

“I don’t think any of them are clean, so…”

Killian laughed, some of the inexplicable tension that had been lingering between his shoulder blades for the last ten days dissipating. He ducked his head, catching Emma’s lips with his own and it wasn’t anything more than a bit cautious and a little hopeful, but it felt like coming home and scoring the game winner and settling back into a skating rhythm that could maybe make some kind of playoff run this season.

“I really like Peggy,” Emma whispered against his mouth. “Did Rubes help you steal laces too?”

“Nah, that was all Banana.”

“Naturally. Are they from—“

“Yeah,” Killian nodded when she trailed off, and the tears on her cheeks were somehow almost, kind of, sort of nice. “It was a very impressive goal. Lots of speed up the side of the ice and a ridiculous angle.”

“You sound very confident, Cap.”

“Got me a star.”

Emma beamed. “Yeah?”

“Second, but you know it wasn’t the game-winner, so…”

“I don’t care. I—“ She took a deep breath, tongue flashing between her lips again and shoulders shifting slightly and he wasn’t really surprised by the kiss that time either. Or the way her hand cupped the side of his face, like she was trying to memorize him or keep him and he would have willingly sat there in the corner of the couch for the rest of his goddamn life.

Fines be damned.

“I love you,” Emma said, no trace of anything except honest and a slightly distracting lack of pants. She twisted again, moving her arm in between them and flipping her hand over. “And I know—well, it was kind of terrifying there for a second, huh?”

“A little.”

“A lot. I…I know if I try and apologize you’re going to tell me—“

“—You don’t have anything to apologize for, Swan.”

“See, this is the interrupting I was prefacing,” she grumbled, another quick kiss that left his stomach slightly knotted. “But, well, it was…God, I’m so tired, I can’t come up with another word except terrifying. I just—I knew, I hoped it would be fine and I was fairly confident in modern medicine, but I started thinking about not being here for you and the kids and—“

Emma sighed again, more tears and lips pressed together tightly. “I love you,” she shrugged, as if that weren’t the single most important sentence the world. “And that angle is ridiculous. It’s…I don’t even understand how it works.”

“I’m a very talented hockey player.”

“And a really, really good dad.”

“I hope.”

“I know,” Emma promised, wiggling her fingers. “Plus, it’s stupid attractive when you score.”

“That so?”

“Like every single time. It’s good Peggy’s asleep, I don’t want to scar her for life this early.”

“She’ll get used to it.”

Killian didn’t mention that Emma used the nickname either, but the glint in her eye made it almost too obvious she knew. “That’s definitely the right approach,” she laughed. “You going to give me my laces or, like, what’s your plan here?”

He slid the laces on her wrist.

And Emma did, actually, see the goal, mumbling ridiculously fast against him as soon as he crossed the blue line, but it only took a few more moments for her eyelashes to flutter and her breathing to even out and Killian tried not to wake her when Peggy fussed midway through the third period – a few minutes before midnight.

“Hey little love,” he whispered, pulling her out of the crib and rocking back and forth, a quiet rhythm that felt a little bit like being back in skates. “You missed the goal, you know. That’s ok. We’ll get some more later this week.”

She didn’t answer, just squirmed against him and twisted towards the TV and that was hardly playing fair.

“Yeah,” Killian continued. “Tie game. It’s gets very dramatic at the end.”

More squirming. And blinking. And a rather impressive attempt to yank on his shirt.

“C’mon, let’s at least be comfortable when Phillip makes up for all those turnovers from before.”

And Killian barely noticed the clock ticking past midnight, far too preoccupied with the baby in his arms and the feeling in his chest and Peggy did, eventually, stop squirming – enough for a few more moments of sleep that ensured neither one of them saw the game-winner.

They watched it in the morning, Emma’s hair still damp from the shower and the laces on her wrist sticking to her skin.

#cs ff #captain swan #captain swan ff #captain swan fic #blue line one shots #i don't know guys here's some new years eve emotions or something #florepy #laura rambles