#all i do is eat and sleep its so sad actually but like. im just always tired esp on the weekends | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr was the first site to host the blog for President Barack Obama in 2011.

#all i do is eat and sleep its so sad actually but like. im just always tired esp on the weekends

stealingyourbones · 1 year

Note

Hey Bones, I saw your thing about a Bat family member becoming a ghost and it reminded me of a very heart breaking au a friend and I came up with a while back that I don't remember if I submitted or not. Either way, be prepared to have your heart broken.

Tim is dead. He's been dead for a while actually. But No one seems to have noticed. He looks and feels just as solid as he did before he died, even if he's got a lower body temperature and doesn't seem to get hurt on patrol beyond bumps and bruises. Never anything that would land him in med Bay, never anything that would make his family check on him.

No one has noticed the way he doesn't eat anymore, or the fact he doesn't sleep. He's extended his patrol hours and cut back on time at Wayne Enterprises. He's pretty sure not even Alfred noticed. He knows the Kryptonians aren't worried about him not having a heart beat and they have no reason to tell anyone. They know he has a special device that can hide him from their senses and tests it on Kon a lot to make him focus on spacial awareness beyond his hearing. He used it a lot before he died. They just think he hasn't turned it off in a while.

Tim remembers how he died. Not fully, but there are pieces. He remembers he was fighting someone on a bridge and he didn't call for back up because he thought he could handle it. He doesn't remember who he thought he could handle. He remembers something stinging his arm. A bug? No a bug couldn't bite through Kevlar, it was a needle. Then everything started going dark and he was stumbling back. His back hit something hard and he tiped over it. He thought he could land on the other side. He remembers wondering why his suit felt so damp and heavy as the world went black around him.

Tim's body is still at the bottom of the bay where it will likely stay forever with so, so many other bodies. It makes Tim wonder, why him? Why not everyone else who ended up down there? Why not everyone who has died in Gothem? Did he come back like Jason did, is it something to do with being a vigilante? Tim checks his own pulse again while he's alone. Yep. Still dead. He continues on his patrol and tries to shove those thoughts away.

So what if Tim's dead? He's still here and he still has work to do. His family is full of detectives. If they can't figure out that something as important as death has happened to one of their own? Well then Tim thinks they need to pay more attention. He ignores the pain that curls in the back of his mind at that thought.

It's been 6 months. Why hasn't anyone noticed? Tim can't help but wonder if they ever will.

Howdy its me @bonebrokebuddy answering. I'm Twone's (twin bones) twin who is helping answer asks because this fucker has like, over 100 of them in her ask box and I help her with making prompt ideas frequently so she trusts me to not horribly fuck up her account.

This is my first answer for her I've written because I had my screen on low brightness and on darkmode, so your profile jump scared the shit out of me when I scrolled past it. Therefore im answering this one first.

Anywho, from my chronic inability to write angst here goes: Tim died, came back and none of the Bats seemed to care. So what? It's not like his best friends hadn't done the same thing. And he was tired and sick of the Bats thinking his entire life revolved around them.

So he packed up his bags and headed to Kansas.

The Bats might not be worried but neither was Kon or Bart. They're actually thrilled after getting over their initial grief that Tim now has also personally experienced death and came back. The funeral was a rather small, breif, and quiet afar. Kon made sure to help locate Tim's corpse and Bart helped with the eulogy (surprisingly heartfelt and moved them all to tears.)

Sure, they're sad that Tim died but he's right in front of them, it's a little more difficult to morn when you've been laughing at said dead guy who got stuck halfway through phasing out of the wall. And now Tim can keep track with them!

Kon is a little pissed that Tim can now go intangible and escape his TTK so he can't take away Tim's coffee anymore. But it's kinda worth it. The first time he took Rob on his favorite flight path, he's never wanted anything else than to hear Tim's breathless laugh and see his frighteningly perfect smile again. They now often go on flights together, high above the clouds with no-one else but them for thousands of miles around. (it almost felt like a date)

Bart knew this would happen one day. He was from the future, of course he knew that Tim Drake, formerly Red Robin, died at age 19 and changed his alias to The Grey Ghost. It doesn't mean that Bart doesn't morn the passing of his friend. Tim means a lot to him and the brief guilt that he did not stop Tim's death also quickly passes. He can finally show Tim that hiding space in the walls that no one else can get to without phasing through the wall! One other thing. Bart is unsure if Kon has noticed yet, which he knows Kon isn't the most observant of the old young justice crew but he has to have noticed it by now. Ever since Tim left Gotham he's developed an insane appetite despite claiming that he didn't need to eat while in Gotham and also being dead so why does he need to eat? (Unknown to Bart, Kansas doesn't have as much ambient ectoplasm as Gotham and Tim is starting to experience the withdraw symptoms. If the trio don't realize how to fix Tim's worsening symptoms soon, Tim might actually die for good this time.)

#dpxdc #dp x dc #danny phantom #seersnake #ones replies #twones replies #bones replies #dont worry ill make the tagging system confusing quICK #I POSTED IT BEFORE IT WAS DONE FUCK #okay fixed it.

725 notes · View notes

x-liv25-jamieswife · 14 days

Note

For the release of ttpd, can a girl get some sad Grayson hcs 😔✊ <3

sad grayson head canons

of course<3. i eat up sad tig hcs so i might make some for the rest of the brothers and avery (probably will). hope you like them! this one is going to be kinda dark (i like making my favorite tig characters suffer) so trigger warning for self-harm and suicidal thoughts/attempts. take care of yourselves, and try to talk to someone if you can. as someone who's been through a lot of shit last year, i can promise you things, at some point, start looking up (this might be corny, but i felt the need to say it) (i may be projecting in some of these cause i love making myself see myself in my fav characters if that makes sense).

grayson used to go out (like to the park or smth) and watch all of the kids playing with each other wishing he could be like them.

sometimes he gets so self-destructive he doesn't eat or drink water. he just lies in bed wishing he could magically die.

grayson heard the prochecy, the black dog, loml, and down bad from ttpd for the first time and started sobbing uncontrollably (so many other songs but yk, im not gonna write all of them down)

when he gets in those self destructive moods, he tends to piss people off/make people sad on purpose so that they'll get made and leave him (he secretly wishes that someone can see through all of his pain and be there for him)

very dark so trigger warning (even though i gave one at the beginning. you can never be too sure), grayson used to have scars on his ribs bc he would hurt himself. he never cut deep enough for it to actually scar permanently bc he 'has an image to uphold' according to tobias.

although swimming is a coping mechanism, it's also a form of self-harm for him sometimes. he swims until he can't feel his legs anymore, and sticks his head underwater for extended periods of time until he feels like he's about to drown.

i actually saw this in a conan gray interview, but he used to cross the street without looking left and right hoping a car would hit him.

he hears emily's voice in his head more often than he lets on. whenever he hears her voice, he'll press his nails so hard into his palms, they start to bleed.

he somehow managed to get his hands on some anti-depressant behind tobias' back and started taking them, but, sometimes, when he was especially suicidal, he would try to overdose on the pills. it never worked.

he's convinced himself that he deserves the pain he causes himself/the people cause him.

tobias knew about his unhealthy coping mechanisms but didn't do shit to help him bc didn't want him to 'soften up' making grayson think his grandfather thought he deserved the pain.

grayson will purposely make himself stay awake for days on end bc he doesn't think he deserves to get sleep sometimes (he needs to work. in his head, everything will go to shit if he doesn't)

sometimes he'll go swing on this swing they have in blackwood forest to feel like a kid again (it sometimes works)

he has this stuffed teddy bear nash gave him when he was a baby that he sometimes sleeps with when he feels alone (even though he'd grown now).

this one is extremely dark, probably the darkest one yet so tw for suicide attempt(ish its not really one).......... at the age of fifteen, he actually bought pills to overdose on and set a date (the 14th of may (really random)). he was going to off himself that day but didn't end up doing it bc his brothers dragged him out to play chess (idk, anything works). he said he'd do it some other day but never go to it. every year, on that day, he celebrates not offing himself bc he wouldn't have met the people he met and wouldn't have gotten to feel the happiness he now feels if he had.

he's convinced himself he isn't worthy of love (this one also applies to jamie, a lot of these actually do in my opinion, they're quite similar when you think about it. probably will make a post about this)

when he was a baby, he'd imagine his stuffed teddy was actually his mom when he felt the need to be held by a parental figure. it almost never worked, but he would always try again hoping it would magically start working.

he has panic attacks on a regular basis. ones where he starts pulling at his hair and stuff. he thinks he's going crazy after these, but avery reassures him he isn't (or nash, but i like the idea of avery being there for him as a friend/sister figure)

when he was younger, he used to ask people if they wanted to come to his house and play with him. they said yes but only bc he was rich. the second they'd step foot into his house, they'd leave him and start exploring.

this sort of goes with the hc i made that he denies himself food and stuff, but, when he gets cold at night and wants to lower the temperature, he'll force himself to stay in bed and take the blankets off to let himself suffer.

he secretly wishes people weren't so scared of him bc then he might have friends.

sometimes, he starts feeling so numb with everything he goes back to the cliff where emily died just to feel smth.

he's such a perfectionist he would cry whenever he got lower than a 90% at school.

it might not look like it, but he really cares about people's opinions of him and will do everything in his power to 'fix' what these people think is wrong with him.

whenever he gets mad at the world or at himself, he'll go to one of those places where you smash and break everything. when he's done, he makes himself sit in the mess and look at all of the destruction he caused (he sees this as him destroying everything in his life (like his relationships, etc))

to end on a brighter note, here's a happy grayson hc :)

when he was younger and wanted smth, he would jump with his hands clasped together begging for it with the cutest puppy eyes ever (i find this one really adorable and can literally picture it in my head).

not proof read so i apologize for any spelling mistakes<3. again, there are resources you can use if you ever need help. if you can, try to get a therapist, and, if you can't, talk to a friend/family member or call a helpline. things can get better. sending everyone lots of love.

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #avery grambs #nash hawthorne #xander hawthorne

63 notes · View notes

milksnake-tea · 2 months

Note

heyy bbg its me, your 🌺 again hihi

I was wondering if you would be interested in writing about the ask prompts 2, 6 and 10 for Yaoshi? 🥹 I'm honestly still a simp for them and Honkai is releasing way too less stuff about them I could scream 😭

During the next survey im gonna beg them to let us be kissed by them again for real. By the way, thank you so much in advance, you know I always eat up your aeon content it's so nice.

(If I misunderstood the prompts and you won't do it please ignore this ask and spare me the cringe I would potentially feel HAHA)

- 🌺

POINTS. I GOTCHU BBG I NEED TO GET BACK INTO MY AEON LOVER PHASE ALSO UR FINE BBG U DID IT RIGHT ILY

2. What do you think their love language is?

Definitely acts of service or gifts. As much as I love my physically affectionate Yaoshi, I see them as someone to just shower you in gifts and love. And let me tell you - those gifts have range. You could get either the most beautiful bouquet (or garden/planet because let's be real, Yaoshi wouldn't settle for just a bouquet) made up of the finest specimen from across the universe, or you could open your door to the freakiest chimera that looks like it was one of God's deleted drafts. With acts of service, Yaoshi doesn't want you to be sad !!! No negative feelings are allowed, only happiness and joy for their loved one <33 So they'll take care of anything that bothers you to make sure that your eternal life is nothing short of paradise.

6. What do you think Yaoshi is like in love?

They're actually insufferable BYE I just know they're musing about every little detail about you to anyone who would listen. Their Emanators and Denizens have never seen you, and yet they know everything about you. Basically, they turn into a less loud, yet somehow even more poetic version of Argenti. You'd slowly notice the effects of their blessings around you as you go on with your life: Flowers and vegetation bloom wherever you go, your injuries heal so fast that you could've convinced yourself they didn't exist, and sickness no longer finds you. Gradually, your world turns into a paradise, and when you inevitably meet the Aeon responsible for it all, they welcome you with open arms.

10. How good at cuddling is Yaoshi?

THEY'RE BOTH SO GOOD AND SO BAD AT IT AT THE SAME TIME ITS LOWKEY IMPRESSIVE. Yaoshi has wayyy too many arms for their own good, but that just means they have all the more to hug you with !! The only problem is that. Well. Those arms have nails. And said nails are sharped to an unreasonable degree, and sometimes Yaoshi forgets about them and they'll accidentally scratch you when they're trying to pet you. But they're warm and make quite the pillow if you just ignore that part, and they'll hum you a little song while they hold you <33 or just talk to you about the mortals that've caught their eye, or what their followers have gotten up to. Yaoshi has a beautiful voice, by the way, gentle yet rich and leaning on the deeper side, and just listening to them is enough to lull you to sleep.

2k follower event if you want to participate !!!

#mail 🏵️#event 🏵️#🌺 anon #yaoshi x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #hsr yaoshi #archives 🏵️

64 notes · View notes

nicolloyd · 1 month

Text

just finished the season WOW that was intense!!! 😭 i collected my thoughts as i was watching it too heres all of it: (spoilers ahead ofc!!! btw this is really long you were warned)

episode 1 (the blood moon):

• lloyd saying uncle is sooo crazy

• WU IS DEAD I SWEAR ON MY LIFE ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY NO MORE 😭

• can these ninja get pyjamas. please.... they had those in ns1 now they just sleep in armour 😭

• bro cinder sounds like.. macaque??? is that weird.

• lloyd gets to have funny quips 🔥🔥

• HAHAHAH I LOVE THE SMOKE EFFECT AND IT JUST CUTS TO THEM LYING FLAT ON THE GROUND 😭😭

• THE BLOOD MOON IS COMING 🗣🗣🗣

episode 2 (shattered dreams):

• YOOOO its the uh i forgot what place its called but yes 🔥🔥

• drs2 spouting out words like panic attack and nental health gee wowzers

• also this is the second time lloyd has been forced to eat strange food first it was dareths pocket gyoza

• deffff arin and sora getting in a fight

• LLOYD U ARE SUCH A SHOWOFF STOP FLIPPING AROUND

• rule number 1 never trust a snake hehahehaha

• really encouraging the lloyd nya sibling dynamic i love it

• callback to torunament of elements im not ok.

• ommggg i actually hate the way ras' beard thing jiggles around its unsettling

episode 3 (beyond the phantasm cave):

• so the dragon released was the lightning

• life symbol???? thats mad lloyd is fr life and not energy

• i feel sooo bad for arin bro if i had like 10 friends with powers and i didnt i wld be pissed too

• this is literally that swamp episode from avatar

• HELPPP is this the memory loss thing pr is it actually like. real

• it would be the funniest troll tho

• oh nya you beautiful genius

• jay the loml 😭😭 toooo cute omgee

• def foreshadowing

• my other family thats sooo funny

• is this the magic man.

• yoo arent those the water villagers

• OMG IT IS THE MAGIC MAN I ACTUALKY HATR HIM BRO

• HAHAHA PROFESSIONAL ACTOR

• yesss cole was never the performer

episode 4 (force from the east):

• geooo omg their actually in love shut up

• i thimk this is ice dragon??

• NINJA BASKETBALL 🔥🔥

• SECRET THIRD WAY!!!!!!!!!

• YO ITS COLE

• also bonzle is important somehow

• aww theyre at the monastery

episode 5 (the spell at the waterfall):

• MASTER WU 😭

• garmadon :**(((( IT MAKES ME SO SAD SPINJITZU BROTHERS UUURGGHH

• hehe i love these siblings

• how are they literally husbands bro what the flip this is so noooottt censorship

• old days :,,)))) soooooi sad bro onfdhsbs

• SACRIFICE???

episode 6 (to mysterium)

• lowkey wtf is egalt yapping about

• omg this is literally beyblade.

• cole in a hood is cray cray

• also zane will not give up thag detective outfit.

episode 7 (fugitive from madness):

• blood moon more like sozins comet aha aha aha aha i miss atla

• bro the music is so good do they get an orchestra for these or what

• lircherally wjats going on

• ADMIMISTRATION!!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSS

• ZANE IS SO PROUD OF THE 9% 😭😭😭 I LOVE HIM.

• crazy how theyre training again tho. good ol days

• nya and kai :'((( not having to worry about saving the world oh my poor sweet kai

• FLASHBACK. NO FRWAKING WAY

• STOPPPP THIA IS GONNA MAKE ME CRY OMG TJA WAS SO SWEET 😭 KAI AND NYA U HAVE MY HEART

• as mean as it sounds im so glad it was kai first and not lloyd it makes sense

• THE BLOOD MOON IS NO LONGER COMING ❌️❌️❌️ ITS HERE

• ohh thats why they turn to stone??

• ZANE IS A PERSON 🤬🤬🤬🤬 stopp hes always so willing to sacrifice himself

• SHUT UP THATS LITERALLY JAY OHHH MYYYY GOLLY GEE.

• i need a good 1 minute break to process everytime jay appears like actually

• ohh myyyyy goooodddd its jay pls stop stop stop stop STOP

episode 8 (secrets of the wyldness):

• forbidden five is lwk scary

• hehe i love their stupid quips and someone else saying "really???"

• oh jay oh jay oh jay oh jay oh jay oh jay he actually lost his memory im soooooo oooooohhhhhh nooooooo

• hes sooooo jay.

• so he knows he can lightning????

• zane. buddy. you cant keep doing this like actually would it kill you to stop dying

• now we're safe 😃 x4 (they were not safe)

• werent tbey in this situation before???? the tipping ship or am i just tripping

• ohhh my god the bounty died again

episode 9 (the forest of the spirits):

• THEY SACRIFICED EUPHRASIA??????

• NO DONT DO IT NO DONT WEAR THE MASK 😭😭

• resting my leg actually healed it is maadddnnnessss

• OHHH MY GOD ZANE IS MINIFIG SIZED HAGAHAHAHAHHAA THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER

• IM ALWAYS ADORABLE 😭😭😭 COLE U ARE

episode 10 (rising ninja):

• NOOOOO I SAID DONT DO ITT NOOOOOOO BUT YES BECAUSE EVIL KAI AGAIN SOUNDS AMAZING 😭

• yo. this fight is cool asl

• NO DONT KAI PLEASE MY MOUTH IS AGAPE

• omg they are both dragons rising rn

• what is going awn rn

• jordana is going freaky!!!

• ras master giving bird box icl

• AWW LLOYD COLE HUG 😭

• im assuming kai got out!

• HELLO ARE WE NOT GONNA GRIEVE KAI FOR A MINUTE???? im sure theyre all numb to death by now

• wowww 10 episodes gone just like that

• kai did not get out ❌️

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago spoilers #ninjago dragons rising spoilers #dragons rising spoilers

36 notes · View notes

skunaskitten · 1 year

Text

The Affair chapter 5

AU: human ceo sukuna x female reader

Contains: fluff, smut, cheating, lying, unfaithful sukuna, falling in love, oral, talk about kids, guilty heart sukuna, mention of gojo

Summary: since sukuna's wife has come back he has been switching back and forth between you and her, not knowing who to finally choose. The choice between you or his company. Something strange is happening with his wife, he is seeing her in a new way maybe he can stay with her but with you in his life things are more complicated. Now he seeks help through one of his best worker and friend.

Master list of stories

chapter 4 ch5 chapter 6

Sukuna was so lost in thought he couldn't do any of his work right, having to retype emails that he kept messing up on and reorganizing his paperwork.

His stress was rising to more than what he would like it to be. He didn't know what to do now. His wife had come back too early that put an obstacle in his plans with you.

That night he didn't come to see you now that his wife was back home he needed to attend to her needs but when she escaped to the showers he took the moment to go into another room to call you. You were so excited to hear from him his heart felt like breaking. He felt bad for not seeing you telling you the excuse and lying that it was overtime at work. All you did was smile and tell him not to worry and to get some rest.

Sukuna laid awake for most of the night tossing and turning in bed all the worries and guilt eating him alive. When his wife felt him struggling to go to sleep, with the tossing and turning. She put an arm around his body and nuzzled against his chest trying to calm him to sleep. He was confused why she was acting this way. Why the sudden change? She never really liked to cuddle as they got older in their relationship.

With the little comfort he had got tonight he was able to fall asleep but with the lack of a deep sleep he didn't want to go into work. His wife however rubbed his head laying there with him "my love stay in bed today I am going into the office. You look drained of life." She told him with a smile on her face.

He grunted and turned over hiding his face to get more sleep making her giggle. She slipped out of bed to get dressed then walked out of the home heading to the office.

Sukuna wanted to go see you but he could not risk anyone seeing him sneaking out. This was going to be a new challenge for him.

On her breaks and lunches she actually came back to him checking to make sure he was doing well but that meant he couldn't sneak out if he wanted to. He had to call you to tell you he can't not see you today.

When you heard the phone ring you ran over to it and jumped onto the bed seeing sukuna's number. You smiled and answered with a flirtatious "hello kuna."

He smiled and said "hey darling I am sorry but work is kicking my ass right now so I won't be able to see you today."

"Oh well then you can see after work its fine sukuna I don't mind if you come over late. It might give you better sleep." A smile formed on your face. He rubbed the back of his neck saying "yea I can't tonight at all im sorry they are keeping me over." But he liked the idea of being in bed with you getting a good night's rest. You let out a little breath saying "that's ok kuna I will wait for you. I love you. You stay safe though take care of yourself I will see you later."

He could hear how sad you are but he could not risk anything too soon, he had to keep you on the low.

"I love you beautiful, I have to go now."

You said goodbye to him then let out a sigh looking at the phone after hanging up then just laid down onto your bed. Sukuna rubbed his face and went to the kitchen to get something to eat, feeling horrible for even leading you into his life like this only to push you away.

Later that night while he sat on the couch his wife walked in with a smile. "hello love hope you feel better I made reservations at the restaurant to go to. I will go get ready. That is if you still want to go."

He nodded to confirm he was still going then watched her disappear down the hall to their bedroom as he sighed, laying his head back then got up and walked into the room seeing her getting undressed. Her body would never compare to the likeness of you. He loves the natural plumpness of your ass and thighs, enjoying the way they wrapped around him everytime he thrusted into you. The size of your breast are perfect to him and loves to feel them in the palm of his hands or pressed against his chest.

His wife giggled snapping him from his thoughts as she said "sukuna save it for later go get ready." She walked into their bathroom while he went to look at the suits to wear. He just grabbed a simple black vest and red under shirt for tonight, nothing fancy just as his wife came out dressed in red heels, black tight dress and hair tied up with make up dusting her face. "Lets go don't want to be late."

During dinner his eyes darted everywhere looking for any sign of someone being strange or trying to get his picture. His wife noticed how quiet he had been ever since she came back from her trip.

"Hey ryomen are you alright you've been quiet and closed off ever since I came back what is wrong?"

He smirked to her saying "darling nothing is wrong everything is fine just I never seen you like this for a long time now. Why the sudden change?"

She smiled and slid her hand over and squeezed his hand. "I told you I want to be better for you and I had a lot of thoughts about us so I am changing." He sighed and held her hand in his then brought it to his lips kissing her knuckle. "I missed you."

The whole dinner felt normal to him again it wasn't her flirting with random men that walked by her or got her attention. Her focus was all on him. She was actually laughing and smiling at him and he felt happy that he was finally becoming part of her life again. He chuckled hearing the stories she told about her trip while she laughed with him.

When they got home it was lips locked and his tongue diving into her mouth grabbing at her hips pulling her against him. Sukuna roughly picked her up pushing her against the wall giving bites to her neck making her moan out. He let out a growl and dropped her onto the bed then began to strip himself down to nothing. It was not easy for him to find lust through her; he had to think of you during the intercourse with his wife. The shameful thoughts of you. All because the guilt is eating him alive.

As he thrusted into her hearing her bark his name it was all thoughts of you. Remembering the way your breast bounced with every thrust. When your warm walls squeezed around the thickness of his cock. Feeling your body mold to his like a perfect piece. His heart was so guilty his wife noticed him losing his rhyme.

"Sukuna..cum inside me."

He looked at her with wife's eyes saying "what?" She smiled at him "I want to..to have a family with you."

With a few more thrust she came around him screaming his name but he wasn't close yet so he stopped breathing hard cursing at his inner self. She looked at him with a smile and ran a hand across his cheek.

"Ryomen its alright? We can do it again later. I know it was just brought onto you but I think we should start having kids."

His wife left him alone while she was in the bathroom and he laid down covering his face with a pillow. How dare she say this to him after years of not wanting kids. After he found you to fall in love with, now she wants to be the wife he always wanted. He heard the door open and her quiet footsteps until he felt hands grab his cock. He shuddered and went to move but she grabbed his wrist saying "relax let me help you."

He could feel her hand squeeze and jerk his shaft making him hard again only with thoughts of you. He let out a groan then felt her lips wrap around his tip taking him deep within her mouth. Feeling her suck and jerk him all he remembered was you doing it, the way you took your time to pleasure and tease every part of him. "Ahh fuck darling." Sukuna bucked his hips and released his seed into her mouth as she swallowed all of him.

He had to admit its been a while since his wife did this to him but seeing her didn't please him like you did. Seeing how shy you were with his cum still on your lips and when you licked it away face full of innocence. Sukuna hated this back and forth with his heart. A plan needs to come quickly but either way it's going to lead to heartbreak.

Over a week you have not seen sukuna in person. You talked to him over the phone but it didn't feel the same. You also walked to the chicken wrap stand ordering two wraps hoping he will show up and surprise you. He didn't show up so you sent him pictures of you with the wraps telling him you have an extra for him to have dinner with you. But he just responded that he is busy at work, to much over time. He missed you dearly and it hurt his heart.

You texted him throughout the day telling him how much you love him and miss him. That night you ate both wraps alone reading your books while trying to keep yourself away from bad thoughts.

However during the following days your mood was bringing you down to a depressing state. You took a walk after work through the mall with your friends as they continued to bug you about sukuna. As they dragged you through different stores you were brought into a girly store. Your eyes caught the jewelry that was on display filled with both men and women items.

Your eyes scanned the display case and saw a thick black leather bracelet with a golden tiger on it. A smile formed on your face wanting to give a gift to sukuna as a thank you for the book. You bought it and got a black box with pink ribbon to tie around. You wrote his name across the box with a silver marker and added a heart to his name.

You wanted him to come over as soon as possible because you were too excited for him to get his gift but he didn't answer your phone that whole night. Maybe he is really busy with work.

Sukuna had to put his phone on silent during another dinner date with his wife she wanted to go on a nice little candle lit dinner at a small restaurant. It was just him and her sharing smiles and sending flirtatious smirks. Sukuna was completely forgetting about you.

He is starting to see a new light over his wife. She was actually changing and just maybe if this continues he can be in a happy marriage. To not have that worry about having an affair and the damage to his company.

Surprisingly to sukuna his wife didn't ask for sex and all she wanted to do was cuddle him in bed with a movie on in the background. When she went to sleep, Sukuna took out his phone and saw all the messages from you. The reality came sinking into his world. The reality that he is having an affair and seeing all your messages of you missing him. You want to see him. You're feeling lonely. Asking if he was upset with you. He can see how hurt you felt for him ignoring you. This was the first time that he has been pushing you away.

He gave you a text saying that he was fine, just tired. Maybe he can find a way to sneak out to you. Sukuna put his phone away and laid down hugging his wife.

The next day he was wondering why his wife was not getting up and groaning. She just started her time of the month so she pushed him away like all the other times feeling the cramps. He tried to help her but she groaned and pushed against his chest telling him to leave.

He sighed and said "fine I guess I am leaving now call me if you need me. I won't be in the office. I am going to a meeting outside the company. Love you." His wife just groaned at him as he sighed and left her alone.

Sukuna did go to the meeting talking about plans and making deals with the other men from different companies he has regularly met with.

However, it ended four hours early. He thought of using this time to finally go and see since he had pushed you off for a whole week.

When he got to your apartment he looked to see if anyone was nearby he recognized then quickly went to your door giving it a loud knock. He realized you didn't answer so he called you hoping you would answer but then he heard the ringing go to voicemail after two rings. He pulled his phone away from him, feeling his heart get heavy. Were you mad at him?

Then hearing the door unlocked from the other side he perked up excited to see you when the door opened he saw you and smiled. "Hey darling."

You looked at him with tired eyes and gave him a weak smile as you stepped to the side letting him in. As soon as the door closed you jumped straight into his arms hugging him tight.

He chuckled and held you close to him feeling his body get warm and his heart flutter. Being away from you so long he didn't realize how much his body missed you. It had a mind of its own and it wanted you only. He never felt like this when seeing his wife.

You held onto him then let out a whimper of pain, he heard the sound and put you down worried then watched you crouch down into yourself holding your stomach. He crouched down to your level saying "what's wrong?"

You shook your head and looked at him with pout. "It hurts kuna. My cramps." He looked at you in disbelief that both you and his wife started it the same time. Thinking you didn't want him around he hummed then said "do you want me to leave."

"What?! Why would I want you to leave? I hadn't seen you in a week and now you want to leave. No dumb ass, I want you to stay with me. Please, I missed you so much."

He gulped as you lunged back into his arms telling him to take you back to your room. Sukuna picked you up carrying you to bed and placed you down with a smirk. "So needy, pretty little thing."

His wife still never liked him being around when it was that time, she claims it is not attractive and makes her feel gross. You smiled at him but then looked away scrunched your face from the pain. Sukuna wanted to make you feel better. His hand slides over your hip and under your shirt to press it to your stomach and give it a gentle rub. Your eyes opened to look at him, seeing his handsome face and body dressed in his suit, making you smile with so much love for him as you raised a hand to cup his face and ran your thumb tracing his cheek and to graze over his lower lip.

"I love you my kuna."

He could feel his heart clench and ache hearing those words sounding so sweet from you. In a tone that he never heard from his wife it always sounds forced from her even till now when she is trying to force it out.

"Y/n do you have tea here?" You nodded "yes it's in the kitchen."

He pulled his hand from you saying "don't move, stay here I am going to try to fix you." He stood up hearing your giggles and said "kuna I am not broken I am just cramping."

Sukuna gave you a smile and left your room heading to the kitchen looking through the place finally finding your stash of tea. He rubbed his neck looking through the boxes then froze feeling the necklace still around his neck. "Shit." He quickly took it off and stuffed it into his pocket then went back to find the herbal tea he was looking for.

��After brewing some hot water from your electric kettle he put a bag of chamomile and lavender tea with honey into your cat tea cup. A smirk formed on his face seeing the cup then went back to you.

"Here drink this love."

You sat up as he sat next to you holding your cup carefully handing it over. "Oh you found the ones I usually drink for my cramps. I was too lazy and in pain to move to get them. Luckily I have you to rescue me." You said, giving him a little laugh.

Hearing your laughs always makes his chest flutter happily, knowing he makes you laugh and happy. Sukuna took off his suit coat laying it on your bed to the side then laid down while waiting for you to drink your tea. You drank most of it and put it down on the table not caring about it any more because you just wanted to be in sukuna's arms after not seeing him for a while.

He watched you turn to face him and lay down getting cozy under his arm and nuzzling against his chest. It was just silence between the two of you but the love could be felt in your room. His hand soothing your back gently.

Maybe your body just wanted him around because the cramps eased up after, probably sensing your man next to you. "Sukuna, I want to tell you something." He gave you a hum, his eyes closed enjoying your comfort.

"Where have you been? Has work really been draining that much?"

He let out a heavy breath of air escape through his nose then pressed a kiss to your forehead. "Yes work is stressing me out a lot too much over time I can not get a break."

Your hand rubbed across his chest and led to his back rubbing him softly. "That sucks. I am sorry if I have been really annoying lately in wanting to see you all the time. I feel like a burden to you. Because you have your own life but I want to be part of it. Because I love you. And I am just worried that…you would not want me because I am too attached to you. I am sorry…kuna".

He could hear your voice croak and sniffles coming from you and he instantly felt his heart tear. He moved and softly rubbed your cheek making you look at him.

"No beautiful, do not say those things about yourself. I am happy with you. I love you with all my heart. It's me that feels like I don't not deserve you and I really don't. You have shown me what it is like to be in love to have a normal relationship. I appreciate you and everything you do for me. I don't want anyone else besides you."

A whimper escaped you as you nuzzled your face against his neck holding him tight. "Ryomen I love you more than my heart can handle."

Sukuna spills more and more confessions to you everytime he is with you because you make his heart feel what he really wants. His wife is already to far gone from him to want her back. He needs and wants you.

"Kuna, I got you a gift." He hummed curiously watching you move and turn to get into a drawer on your bedside table then pulled out a little black box with pink ribbon. "Here open it."

Sukuna sat up holding the box smiling at the colors you chose and began to unwrap the box. You held your hands together playing with your fingers feeling butterflies in your stomach worried if he was not going to like it.

He pulled off the top of the box seeing the bracelet inside and took it out to see the gold tiger charm.

"I know it's not much but I thought of you when I saw it and I wanted to get you something."

He smiled and pulled you saying "c'mere. I love it darling". You smiled and hugged him as he kissed your cheek. "Do you want me to put it on?"

"Of course, I need to see if it's going to fit." Sukuna chuckled and took the bracelet to slip it over his wrist and pulled the little ropes tightening it. He lifted his arm to you saying "how does it look?"

You smiled and held his hand turning his wrist to look at it against his skin. "Its perfect on you kuna." As sukuna laid down holding your body close to him he felt worse for even having to take off any of the gifts. He knows you be more upset if he stopped wearing the bracelet and ask questions. He will just have to tell his wife that it was a gift from one of the men during the conference meeting.

When the time passed sukuna woke up from a nap then looked at you. You were still by his side and in his arms he noticed you were asleep. He tried to wake you but you were passed out sound asleep. He smiled and gave a long kiss to your cheek and pulled away whispering 'I love you beautiful.' Sukuna grabbed his coat then left a note by your pillow telling you he had to leave and he loves you more.

By the time you woke up it was dark outside and sukuna was not beside you leaving you with a sad expression and whimpered when you saw the note he left. You placed the note in your drawer and held the pillow he was laying on, getting a smell of his scent that comforted you.

You couldn't come up with the courage to tell him how you feel about him. How much you needed him beside you every night. How your heart yearns for him. You had many thoughts wanting to be his wife. But you are always too scared to tell him because of the fear he would not want that. So you kept them aside.

You texted him that night to see if he was alright but you got no response and that was because sukuna was on the couch cuddling his wife making her giggle. Kissing her neck gave light bites to her ear as he poked her side.

Sukuna is playing with two women he knows it's wrong and he has to choose but not knowing what part of his life he wants.

Sukuna again didn't come to see you and only texted you for a few days leaving you alone with no response. You laid in bed hugging your pillow wondering what you did wrong. He became so distant lately. Tears filled your eyes and hid your face away from everything.

He finally saw the messages seeing you desperately trying to talk to him and saw the last message.

'Fine I guess I will leave you alone. If you don't want me any more then tell me. You don't have to keep ignoring me.'

"Fuck." He tossed his phone onto the passenger seat of his car gripping the steering wheel. He didn't know he could be so caught up in this life. He is ryomen sukuna ceo of his company and he is letting some little woman like you control his life usually that will piss him off.

But deep down he liked it because he loves you. Being with you all this time always weighed his heart to you and he can not think of anyone else to be with besides you.

He took out his phone calling the one person he could talk to about anything.

"Hey satoru we need to talk, meet me at the ramen shop I like. Thank you. See you there."

Sukuna drove off feeling his nerves rise, when he got there he let out a sigh and texted his wife saying he has a meeting outside the office to go to and will be home late.

Sukuna walked into the restaurant, seeing satoru's hand raise up calling out to him. He sighed and walked over taking a seat and already saw a drink in front of him. "Is this alcohol?"

"Why would I do that if I know you are driving? So what dirty secrets do you want to tell me?"

Gojo leaned over the table resting his chin onto the palms of his hands. As sukuna cleared his throat to say, "so this talk is only between me and you also nanami if you want to fill him in." Gojo took a drink of his tea and looked to sukuna waiting.

"I am in love with another woman."

"No shit". Gojo said with a smile as he pulled down his sunglasses to look at his pink haired friend. Sukuna growled and looked at his drink. "Can I speak fully before interrupting me with stupid remarks?" Sukuna then glared at him to make sure he understood, seeing gojo flick his hand to continue the talk.

"I met this little woman after I had gotten into a fight with the wife, she came home with hickies on her neck and told me it was no big deal. Stating she knows I cheat. I had enough of it so I left to get a break from her staying at my house. Then when I went walking to get chicken wraps I crashed into this woman."

Satoru chuckled saying "you could have killed her with that body of yours." "Shut up!" Sukuna snarled lowly at him then continued.

"I saw how cute and shy she was so I thought maybe I could get her into bed with my charm. But she didn't fall for it like most women do. So I made it my mission to try to get with her. The more I was with her the more I wanted a life with her. There is a lot more in detail of why but I won't get into it if you are smart enough to know."

He looked down and rubbed his face feeling stressed.

"When I got forced into this marriage I was fine and happy with it. Getting to fuck this beautiful woman that I was tied with not having to worry about anything else. Now being older I see the way two people in love looked at eachother and it was not the same look my wife gives to me. I want to have that life with a woman to go home and relax with her and have her wash away my stress and not give me stress. The woman I could finally experience romance with and have a family."

Satoru had already seen how his friend had been acting lately. He wasn't so grumpy all the time and he has a different energy. Sukuna looked at gojo then pulled out his phone to show him a picture of you. The white haired man smiled, saying "she is cute."

"Satoru, she showed me what it's like to be in true love. Everything about her is amazing, she is beautiful, sweet, cute, lovely."

"What about the sex?" Satoru asked as sukuna smirked and leaned back in his seat. "This little woman is sexy. She drives me crazy. She makes my heart flutter, swell and twist with passion. The sex feels amazing, let's just say I fit perfectly inside her."

Sukuna leaned back over the table to say in a low tone "I love the way she tightens around my cock every time I bring her to pure bliss."

Satoru shook his head with a smirk and said "you never change with those words ryomen."

Sukuna leaned away again and looked at his tea. "Fuck satoru I don't know what to do? Now my wife comes back after this trip stating that she did not cheat on me and now she wants kids with me and is acting differently."

Gojo hummed while taking a drink then looked at sukuna being serious.

"You know this is a serious matter, this affair can be big trouble for the company."

"You think I don't know that". Sukuna growled out.

"Well what are you going to do?"

Sukuna sighed and rubbed his face. "Gojo this is why I called you here to help me with this. I know I need to stay for the company but y/n is what I deeply want. I fell out of love with yami. And being with her doesn't feel right. Is it because I am guilty? Man, I sound pathetic talking about this."

Gojo let out a laugh then said "that is a good thing you are having feelings it means you are human and not a demon like others say." Sukuna smirked saying "thanks I guess but that doesn't help."

His friend smiled and pulled down his glasses to say "look ryomen just do what you want to do. I know that is what you do best. Whatever you choose I am still here for you. But I will say that little y/n girl she does do something to you that I can see. You look more alive with her."

Sukuna had left the little talk with gojo and went straight to your place, parking outside the building and staring at your door. Debating if he should should just go home after all. But his heart string was pulling him to you.

He made his decision when he got out of his car and to your door and gave it a hard knock so you would hear him. He looked at his wrist smiling at the bracelet you gifted him. His wife did question it but she didn't bother with it after he told her it was a gift from a meeting.

You heard a knock at your door thinking it was your friendly neighbor trying to bring cookies again. You opened it with a smile then froze in shock to see sukuna giving a soft smile. "Hey darling."

You crossed your arms, giving him an unamused look. "What do you want? I am upset with you. You ignore me for days, then you just show up thinking everything is fine." Sukuna gulped and rubbed his neck saying "I am sorry."

"You never want to talk to me kuna. I want you to talk to me about your life. What are you feeling? Tell me about your day. Tell me about what is bothering you. Even if it's stupid just talk to me please." He could see your eyes glaze over with tears, he hates to see you cry.

"No no please don't cry I am sorry. I am dealing with so much bull shit at work. I lose track of time and I am too tired. My ex is bugging me again." He quickly stopped talking from over saying things.

"Is that why you are ignoring me? Your ex wife is talking to you again. So you ignore me to have your attention on her. Are you cheating on me?"

You stepped away not wanting to say that and not wanting to know if it's true.

Sukuna walked inside pushing passed the door then closed it behind him locking it. "No beautiful I am not cheating on you trust me. Please. I love you." Why was it so easy for him to lie to you?

You didn't say a word just looking at him annoyed with yourself and him, not knowing what else to say to sukuna. He gulped and said "please say something." "Why?"

"Because I love you."

You looked away saying "do you?"

Sukuna felt a sting in his heart. Fine if you think he doesn't then he will just have to show you. With the thing you love to have over and over again. He walked closer to you and grabbed your face then smashed his lips to yours.

You wanted to be mad at him but you couldn't stay mad not with his intoxicating lips trying to devour you when you opened your mouth letting his tongue pass through across your lips. You let out a desperate moan into his mouth.

Sukuna then grabbed your hips pulling you flush against him and quickly pulled his lips away only to latch them to your neck. You tilted your head back letting him attack your neck with love bites marking you. "Ryomen.." You love the way they feel against your skin. He makes you melt every time.

"I am sorry for staying away from you because of work. But I can't stop thinking of you and having you in every way." He told you and went to squeeze your ass hearing a gasp coming from you. "Kuna hold on." He froze and pulled his hands away to watch you pull off your clothing just leaving you in underwear as he let out a growl mixed with a groan.

Sukuna attacked you again with his hands and lips. You moaned letting him have full access to your neck then he started taking off his jacket and shirt leaving everything on the floor. Just seeing his bare chest and abs covered with his black markings on full display his pants hanging low around his hips.

"Sukuna takes me to the room." You jumped into his arms as he carried you to the bedroom and kicked your door closed then pressed your back against the door with your legs wrapped around his hips.

Sukuna continued to lick and softly suck your neck while grinding himself against you, his lips trail over your collar bone going down to your breast taking a nipple into his mouth. You could feel his tongue swirl around your peaked nub giving attention to the other breast. Moans escaped from you while arching your back wanting to be flush against his skin.

The feeling of his hard length ready to break through with every push against you. Your hand ran through his hair lightly pulling on it. "Sukuna take me please I need you in me." He gave you a light bite to your neck then pulled you away from the door to take you into the bed and dropped you in it. Feeling your back lay across your blankets, you looked at him. He could see your cheeks tinted pink and breast perked.

"Fuck your sexy baby." You shudder at his word as it sends a tingle through your body hearing that deep tone of his lustful voice. Sukuna took off his pants as you looked away sliding off your panties and spread your legs for him. He chuckled with a proud smirk while removing his underwear then grabbed his shaft pumping himself while getting onto the bed again. Your eyes drifted to him seeing his thick cock in his hand while you bit your lip.

"Be a good girl yea and play with yourself." He heard a whimper from you and watched your hand trail down your body and settled between your legs.

His eyes were on you, watching you rub circles over your clit then plunge a finger into yourself then back to your clit. Your hips bucked a little with soft moans leaving you but you ached for something more.

Sukuna licked his lips, jerking himself squeezing his cock with a groan. "Yea that's it, good girl. You are such a good girl that maybe I should reward you with this yea?"

You stopped pulling your hand away and looked to see him stroking himself then nuzzled his hips between your legs.

"Sukuna, yes please. Just fuck me already".

"As you wish my love."

He gave you a smug smirk then pressed his tip to your entrance as he braced himself with his hands leaning over the top of you. His eyes locked on yours, you could see the lust mixed with love through his eyes. As he pushed all the way in as you moaned feeling him stretch you to the thickness of him.

Sukuna already began to thrust his hips going deep into you. He went slow at first to build that high you love so much. Your hand roamed his chest and shoulders then found their way into his hair as he leaned forward to capture your lips in a deep loving kiss. Your legs squeezed around him then nudged him to talk.

"Kuna go faster and harder. I want you to fuck me." He grunted with satisfaction then raised up to grab your wrist and held them above your head while he slowly rocked into you.

You never saw this side of him before seeing him be so dominant but caring at the same time it turned you on so much. He could feel you pulse around him from this new action making him smirk. "Oh you like this darling? Want me to go faster and harder?"

You gave him a nod with a response "yes more kuna." He let go of your wrist and gripped your legs to hike then higher over him folding you.

With every hard and faster thrust of his cock pressing against that good spot bringing you closer to your release. Moans of his name spilled from you hearing his deep moans and hot breath against the skin of your neck. Your hands tried to grip every part of his body holding onto his neck and the other around his shoulder. This man is everything to you and you want nothing else in life besides him.

"Ryomen…ryomen don't stop, keep going."

Sukuna's thrust turned into a rut, feeling his cock swell ready to release. With every pound of his hips you heard your bed creak. Moans and heavy breathing filled your room. Your nails started to dig into his back feeling the knot twist inside you. Sukuna looked at you, his eyes half lidded and leaned up to get a deeper thrust letting his body take control.

Staring into his eyes feeling so close and the tears formed, glossing your eyes from all the emotion. "Sukuna..s..sukuna." you called out to him as he did the same.

"Beautiful..love."

Finally feeling that snap of pure bliss you threw your head back scraping your nails across his skin on his back pulling him closer to you. "Ryomen! Sukuna!..ahh sukuna!"

You yelled his name creaming around his cock making it easier for him to slide all the way deep with the last few pounds he moaned deeply and louder than before slamming his hips against you and poured his thick milky seed into your womb. Sukuna pushed so far and gripped the blanket under you groaning your name. He hoped to breed with you for how deep he knows his seed went inside you, he wants a life with you.

He carefully laid on top of you,still feeling himself pulse inside you and breathed heavily in sync with your breathing. Your arms wrapped around his neck keeping him close to you not wanting to let go.

Hearing your heart thump loud against your chest. As Sukuna slowly pulled out, you let out a breath of air feeling the pressure of his cock leave you and already missing the feeling of him. But he kept his face nuzzled in your neck and his arms snaked around your body.

You didn't care about the pressure of his body resting on you weighing you down. You love him to stay close to you. Your hands went into his hair softly stroking his pink locks as the other drifted to his back to rub him. All your emotions started to hit you as tears filled your eyes.

Sukuna felt you breath hard then heard you whimper and squeezed around him with more soft whimpers and sniffles. "Why are you crying beautiful."

You buried your face into his neck letting cuddling into his arms and held onto him, he could feel the hot tears against his chest escaping from your eyes.

"Ryomen all I want is you. I don't care about anything else in my life except for you. I want to be with you for as long as I live. You make me happy. You make me feel loved. Your arms are warm, and safe. I love to be in them. And I don't want to lose you. I am sorry if I upset you somehow. But fuck ryomen sukuna I love you. You are my home and my heart. You mean the world to me. I..I love you."

Sukuna's heart broke and for the first time he wanted to cry because you are all he wants and he is going to lose you fast if he doesn't do something about it.

His mind is finally set on the next step. After tonight when he goes back he needs to divorce and get you in his life. But that would mean he needs to tell you the truth

"Y/n would you want to marry me? Am I good enough?"

You moved back slightly to look at him in shock saying "what do you mean? Of course you are good enough I will marry you in a heartbeat. Why?"

He smiled and pulled you back against his chest saying "just thinking. Let's get some sleep, love you wore me out."

You giggled kissing his chest then leaned up out of his arms to grab an extra blanket to put over him and you. "Goodnight kuna I love you." He smiled, saying "love you more sweet dreams beautiful." In an instant with the comfort in each other's arms, sleep took you both quickly.

His wife looked at the time seeing it was way past midnight and she was still up waiting for sukuna to get home. She scoffed and walked into the room. "This fucking stops now. He belongs to me."

She picked up her phone calling someone waiting for them to answer and when they did she smiled wickedly.

"Hello I need a favor. Yes, to track something. Can you find where this number is located?" She gave the person sukuna's phone number and said "send me the address when you find it please and thank you. You will be getting a payment for being so helpful, thank you."

About a few minutes later she got a notification on her phone and smiled wide seeing the info. "Sukuna say goodbye to your little slut."

oh what is this woman planning?! Things are about to go down. Sukuna just made his final moves in his mind to be with you.

Thank you for reading!

#ryomen sukuna #sukuna #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #ryomen sukuna x you #ryomen x reader #ceo!sukuna #ceo!sukuna x reader #the affair

185 notes · View notes

the-s1lly-corner · 6 months

Text

Eyeless Jack cuddling + sleep hcs !

short little break in between TADC stuff since i kinda miss writing for creepypasta, and i miss EJ... lil guy.. also side note, carrots irritate my throat real bad and i kind of. got forced to eat something with carrot so im in hell rn im so so mad, i can even like. go make tea w/ honey in it like people keep telling me to do because honey ALSO fucks me up.. hot cocoa my beloved i am PRAYING that you save me from this torment, even for just a moment *crumples onto the floor into a pathetic dried up heap)

okay so obviously, like the other eyeless jack (well all the other creepypasta stuff) i write this is leaning very heavy on my take on him as well as how i personally draw and perceive him in my head

for one hes short but hes thick, so cuddling him is like cuddling a large teddy bear!

i actually had to look through my old posts to remember if i hc him to be hot or cold; and hes cold! freezing cold, actually.. good for the summers but not so much now that its the colder months... unfortunately, thats just an aspect of the thing that made him... well, eyeless jack... he doesnt really, warm up.. i think the coldness actually gets worse overtime since in my au hes becoming less and less human, so overtime cuddling actually gets more uncomfortable :(

moving on from some more... sad ideas, i think hes soft. like hes built, he has muscle, but i think a fair amount of that is just plush chub (i am an advocator for beefcake ej!!!)

it takes a while for him to get into the swing of wanting to actually... be physically close to you and have you be vulnerable with him since internally he does have fears that the bits of him that make him crave human meat may rear its head in...

but he does eventually warm up to you after some time..! it just takes a lot of reassurance and trust building, as well as developing a system should there ever be a... situation..

i dont think he sleeps, either, demon stuff you know? like i think at first he could sleep if he wanted but overtime loses the ability to sleep altogether... but hey look at this way, he wants to watch over you for the night until sunrise. he wants to make sure youre safe during your more vulnerable moments

and i think thats really sweet, actually

i need to write more ej stuff... i miss this guy so much, i miss my hcs... i think i might write angst for him soon.. i feel evil

#creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #eyeless jack x reader #eyeless jack x you #eyeless jack imagine

112 notes · View notes

cybersoldier82 · 4 months

Text

Im sad so have some transvoremers pred headcanons of how Nautica, Megatron, Knockout and Flamewar cheering up their prey.(bare in mind im still new to transformers so if these are inaccurate im very sorry you can speak to my agent about financial compensation/j)

Nautica: She has cheering her prey up down to a science, she knows exactly what is needed and just how to get your spirits up before and after noms. She’ll make sure youre ok with physical touch at the moment and hug you for as long as you need, rubbing your back all the while telling you exactly what you need to hear, until she finally, and carefully, places you in her maw, letting you go down at your own pace. Once youre in her stomach shes gonna caress, knead and rub at you as long as needed, even letting you sleep in there if that’ll help, all in all when youre sad yourw her main priority until youre not anymore.

Megatron: He’s a tad bit more to thr point about it, but not in a rude way. Taking it rather seriously, the person he cares about is upset and he makes it his job to get to the root of the problem, regardless of what the problem is. Hes not used to being this soft but he still tries to comfort yah in his own way, he cares deep down yah know(dont tell starscream)? He also gently places you in his mouth and sends you down at your own pace, but once you are down he doesn’t have much time to comfort you while youre in there, hes a busy guy lol, so he lets you chill out in there while he goes off to tend to whatever needs tending to, once he finds time though he makes it all for you so dont worry too much.

Knockout: knockout is a different case to be frank with you, he still understands that this is a serious situation but come on, its knockout, hes gonna be a teasing bastard about it in some way or another. I feel like him having a more care free attitude might actually be helpful here, he still recognizes that youre upset but that doesnt mean hes not gonna fluster you into feeling better. Oh and once he gets to tucking you away its over for you, youre gonna be redder then the surface of mars when he’s through with you. Hes gonna knead and and rub and caress the hell out of you, to the point that you’ll be so caught up in being flustered that you’ve forgotten what you were sad about, all according to hus plan of course ;3.

Flamewar: Flamewar is in a similar boat to Knockout in being a very different animal about comfort, unlike him however she doesn’t really know what she’s doing, shes used to dicking with people and being the lovable dink she is. That’s not to say she wont try though, she’s determined to try literally anything to get you feeling better, even if she accidentally makes it worse here and there. She’s probably stressed out thinking that what she’s doing isn’t helping even though it probably is, once she does start to notice a change she moves to what she knows works; eating you, this is also the part where she can have some fun. Like Knockout she’s gonna tease and fluster the hell out of yah on the way in, on the way down, and for the whole time youre in there, once you’re finally better she lets out a huge sigh of relief, her winging it worked, thank primus, now she can enjoy her favorite person in her belly knowing she helped yah feel better, everyone wins.

#soft vore #safe vore #vore talk #v.ore #extreme cuddling #v0re #g/t vore #size difference vore #v/ore #transvoremers #fandom vore #pred!megatron #pred!nautica #pred!knockout #pred!flamewar

23 notes · View notes

mugentakeda · 5 months

Text

i just loveeeee the idea that there was a big gap of understanding between lu ten and iroh the same way theres a big gap of understanding between zuko and iroh. mistakes that iroh didnt realize he made with his son he then also made with his nephew and still not realizing it. a whole world of things about lu ten that iroh didnt know about, and will never know about. im gonna talk about it though because i am insane so look away from my cringe

lu ten had gone to his father with problems before, and iroh cant help but wonder, now, if his son had ever been trying to imply deeper things in between sugarcoated words because there were things you just didnt say in the palace, and irohs head had been so far up his ass he hadnt seen it. despite it being waved practically right in his face by his son, desperate for sound advice from his father, whos brain was too waterlogged by thoughts of how he was going to pull off his next bloody conquest. like how zuko was always howling for help, hurt and confused like a cornered animal, hidden deep under his fits of rage, and irohs head was Still so far up his ass that he kept meeting zukos silent begging for straightforward guidance with convoluted proverbs. he can sit here and bury his face in his hands in shame over the sheer amount of times hed failed his nephew without realizing, and how much convincing it'll take to get his nephew to understand that yes, iroh did fail him so many times, and he couldve prevented so much suffering simply by holding himself to the same standards he held his nephew to. all those times during those three years before the avatar returned that he couldve done something. sit here and think about how sad it is that he has to even try hard to convince his nephew such a thing, how sad it is that he finally got zuko to stop seeing ozai as some all-wise god that can do no error as a father, just for zuko to start seeing iroh as some all-wise god that has done no error as an uncle. but he can at least go and do something about it. he can never do something about what he did to his son. the things he knows he did, the things he doesnt know he did, and everything in between. he will never find out what lu ten truly thought about him. he will never have that reconciliation, that silent scream of relief and violent shiver in the crook of his neck that zuko gave when iroh yanked him in close after their separation, with his lu ten. he just has to hear about his own son through word of mouth and somehow be content with that. and worst of all, its all his own and his god damned family's fault. no amount of healing and learning by trying to do right by zuko and the world he helped nearly ruin not much more than a half decade ago can act as a balm for the agony that brings him. he knows healing his guilty conscience isnt supposed to even be a reason for why he helped the avatar, but god- it's when the rationality leaves him and he realizes that this is something he cant seem to make himself be the bigger person in. he knows its his own fault, that there are hundreds- thousands, maybe- of earth kingdom sons he personally stole from earth kingdom fathers, and only gave up on his siege when the consequences of his war came into his own backyard, but he cant help it. doesnt want to help it. hes still angry and hateful anyway. his son should still be here. his son should still be here. his son should still be here. and if he tells zuko about how much he still hates himself as both an uncle and a father, zuko will definitely rush to reassure him, all the while he is chained to his desk and meetings day in and day out, fixing this uncles mistakes best he can, losing sleep and forgetting to eat. none of it will mean anything to zuko, if it means he can make his uncle feel better. and if that happens, iroh might actually vomit in front of his nephew.

#i love when characters outright refuse to heal or move on!!!! yayyy!!!!!!!!! three cheers for bitterness and hate forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#making lu ten a personality and then remembering hes lit dead so so cool. Like hes just dead. he will never come back. No plot armor #sometimes... characters having unsatisfying unhappy ends.... is the best.#THIS NIGHT HAS OPENED MY EYES.... AND I WILL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN........................#HE SAID HED CURE YOUR ILLS... BUT HE DIDNT AND HE NEVER WILL....................................#(starts vomiting blood everywhere #i should tie this with my hcs about ursa and lu ten being close cus they were left alone together in the palace a lot #and how lu ten helped shoulder a kind of deranged amount from her by basically co parenting zuko and azula with her #meanwhile ursa was a grown adult and lu ten was like . 15 #oh the curses of being the eldest sibling oh the horrors #atla

47 notes · View notes

transboysokka · 6 months

Note

This is a big ask so don't feel like you have to, but would you be interested in pitching some summaries of the fics you have up on Ao3? I know there are summaries up there, but I like the casual way you have with words and you say fuck a lot and I dunno yeah

omg this is so funny bc i know the exact way with words you're talking about and of course im not gonna pass up a chance to promote my own work hehe YOU GOT IT!

i have 20 atla fics so I'm going to recommend them in order of... least to most kudos??? to try to trick people into reading more of my stuff? lol idk

I'm 99% sure all of these are Zukka fics...

The Last Five Years - ok actually this is a bad place to start bc i don't think im gonna finish it. it just really didn't take off but um its a The Last Five Years AU with really fucking sad Divorced Zukka

Do Not Stand At My Grave and Cry - this is i think my newest one, it has trans zukka and it's a bit angsty with a fake death but i also think it's kind of fun. it's the idea trans people have of ''who's going to care if my family puts the wrong name on my gravestone?" but there IS a happy ending

A Problem Halved is a Problem Shared - im gonna be honest i dont fucking remember writing this one lol but it says dialogue-only and it WILL be angsty bc it is about zuko and sokka dealing with different issues they have

One Last Time (and its sequel The End of All Things) - Actually OLT is definitely one of my faves I ever wrote. It's my canon-compliant take on um... *cough* Sokka's death, referenced in Korra. It's SO angsty but it has one of the most visceral scenes I've ever written and I DID cry writing this. TEoAT is the happy ending Divorced Zukka deserved with bonus Iroh but you WILL cry reading that too. BUT i cant fucking recommend these ones enough!!!!

If I fade away (the awful things we do to make the head go quiet) - VERY dead dove. trans zuko needs to pay a MASSIVE price to get home to the Fire Nation after Ba Sing Se, and it's not his choice at all. I love this but READ WITH CAUTION

In Which Sokka is Supportive Ally Boyfriend Goals - I am dead serious i like dont remember this one at all but i know it has trans zuko!

Nourishing the Flame Within - not the best written tbhtbh BUT it does have two very important Zukos in it that I hold to be universally true: trans zuko and eating disorder zuko

bad idea right? - okay this is DEF one of my faves lol its about divorced zukka but they just cant stop messing things up and sleeping with each other even though theyre not together anymore lolol

Keeping it in the Family - lmao OKAY SO this is the ONE version of zukka that im like 'ok all u z*tara folks, maybe zuko WAS with her and it obvs didnt work' and then he hooks up with sokka instead and its GREAT but oops now we have Family Drama

Scars of Trust - bro im not gonna like i barely remember writing this one but i remember I LOVE IT and it's about sokka who has been dating zuko a while but he finally learns that zuko is trans? its great

Playing the Long Game - eh, i don't love it, but I'd say it's worth a read. it was my first longer fic in the fandom. it DOES have a great Zukki evolution though if you're into that, and a nice mystery!! Also some whump and angst bc of course

Keeping Score - I liked this one! It's just little snippets of times Sokka has survived assassination attempts, because we always hear about it happening to Zuko, but Sokka gets them too. Angst obviously

It Was Cruel and It Was Wrong - wow, a dead dove fic, yes. It's basically like "If I'm Joo Lee and you're Joo Lee, then who's flying the bison?" Yeah so Sokka and Zuko are both brainwashed by the Dai Lee and Suffering but be careful because this gets DARK

Mother - Izumi has two dads but she feels bad she doesn't have a mom. But guess what, her dads don't have moms either!! She's very happy to find that out! Wow Izumi, way to have some sympathy.

Impact - It's about Zuko taking a longer time to recover from an assassination attempt than he'd want, and Sokka being loving and patient with him! I wrote this when I had a bad concussion for like three weeks and so it's pretty like. Medically accurate lol

Scratchy - Short and sweet. I don't remember this one much but I know that it is fluffy and involves turtle ducks!

Hidden Pain, Shared Love - Another short and fluffy one. It's about the first time Zuko sees that Sokka has problems with his leg sometimes?

Zuko and Sokka Get Engaged in the Most Zukka Way Possible - okay i actually really love this one because it's on brand and cute and also i made it fucking angsty because oF COURSE

Zuko Amongst the Dragons - yes so what if zuko was raised by dragons and met the gaang but he was super feral? and what if shenanigans ensued? AND what if sokka and zuko fell in love anyway????

#quesTian #Anonymous #fic #fic recs #atla #zukka #divorced zukka #trans zuko #trans zukka

39 notes · View notes

keii-starz · 1 month

Note

answer any or all I wanna know more about you 👁️👁️

Do you have freckles?

Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it?

What was the last song you listened to?

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side?

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?

Do you prefer drawing or writing?

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with?

What’s your favorite band/artist?

When is your birthday?

How tall are you?

What color are your eyes?

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now?

Fears?

What’s your favorite color?

What’s your favorite season?

Want any tattoos? What of?

Want any piercings? Where?

Who is the last person you texted?

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends?

What/who do you miss?

How was your day today?

How much sleep did you get last night?

Do you believe in aliens?

When was the last time you cried? Why?

What’s your favorite decade?

What are some seemingly childish things you like?

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times?

How are you, really?

Does it take you a long time to make decisions?

What are you looking forward to in the near future?

What are you looking forward to in the distant future?

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?

Do you sleep with your door open or closed?

What’s your favorite flower?

Do you currently have a squish?

Do you like your middle name?

Do you prefer dogs or cats?

Do you have any phobias?

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy?

What’s your favorite cartoon?

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many?

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?

Is there anyone you would die for?

What do you need when you’re sad?

Have you memorized your phone number?

Who’s someone you can trust with your life?

What does your last text say?

Wild Card. Any question, ask away.

1. I wish (no) 😔

2. I drink both!!! but I don't drink coffee that often, and when I do, it's only if it has milk and sugar in it! when I drink tea, I usually drink milk tea, or I add milk to my matcha tea, but sometimes I just drink regular tea!

3. DAYDREAM by HIGHLIGHT!!!

4. I sleep on my back, but I actually prefer sleeping on my side!! I just dont sleep on my side most of the time because I sleep with headphones on, and its kinda uncomfortable sleeping on my side with headphones on

5. yes!! my little teddy bear that I got from my bestie!!! I named him lucy

6. hmm I love both a lot, but I'd say drawing!

7. ummm it doesn't really matter for me but I'll say teo because of my blanket I've had since childhood (its too small to cover me now so ofc I have to use another blanket)

8. hmm for band, it'd be LUCY!!! (K-band) I think the violin in their music makes their songs sound even nicer! but my fav part is obv sangyeop's soft voice :3

but for artists in general...hmm there's quite a few, so I'll name them by language! 1. CRAVITY (korean boy group), ZICO (korean soloist, k-hiphop), COLDE (korean soloist, k-r&b), 2. yoh kamiyama (japanese), TUYU (japanese band), 3. jeremy zucker, suggi (english)

9. february 11!

14. sage green!!

15. autumn! not too cold or hot, and not as much bugs!

19. I do! we've been friends since 4th grade!

21. it was great!!! I had so much fun and got to eat a lot of good food!!

24. sometime last week, I think tuesday..I think it had smth to do with my insecurities or like. how I keep getting the feeling I'm not wanted

28. my mental and physical states both suck a ton, but since I've returned home for spring break, im trying to convince myself to not worry about anything and just think of this as a lil vacation just until this is over

31. im definitely looking forward to moving out of my mom's house or just not staying with my family in general...I want to get an apartment where I feel relaxed at when I turn into an adult

32. if I could go anywhere right now...I would probably go to my aunt's house in florida..tbh, I wouldn't say her cooking's (sorry auntie 😔) the best, but I'd probably feel way...calmer? there and less likely to cry so often

34. my favorite flower is the star of bethlehem!!! it's really really pretty!!! im pretty sure it's a poisonous flower tho lol

39. all the time 😊

42. I prefer cloudy days! sunny days are nice, but I don't like getting the sun in my eyes very much, plus the sky is prettier with clouds :3

44. 5 of my fav blogs: @azulashengrottospiano @dove-da-birb @twistwonderlanddevotee @alexisomnias @l7k-a

45. I have 2 siblings! an older brother and younger sister, who is the youngest, but if I didn't tell u this and you met us both irl, you'd probably think shes the older one based on height and personality lol

47. I would die for any of my friends in a heartbeat

48. music!!! I CANNOT go without my music I tell u!!!

49. nope!!! you see, my phone doesn't tell me my phone number, so I always have to ask other people what it is 😐 (my other phone did tho)

50. uhhh hmmm this one is really hard bcuz I don't think I know anyone irl who I can trust with my life but probably...no one..?

#keianswersasks!❥ ҉#cas <3 🦈#I was going to answer it in the morning but I got caught up with a lot of things so im answering this at night 😔

8 notes · View notes

sad-leon · 8 months

Note

Hello! I hope you're having a good day!

So many people in my life seem to be going through something right now, and I just wanted to give you an opportunity to share anything you might be going through. Good or bad, as specific or as vague as you're comfortable with. Or feel free to ignore if you'd rather not. No pressure at all!

I hope things are going well for you! But if not, I'll be sending prayers your way if you're comfortable with that!

I am... not.

and i haven't for a long time

I'll preface this entire post with a warning: THIS IS A VENT POST the only tags will be trigger warnings

I thinks i've said it once or twice, but I started school this year. This is my first year in college after taking a gap year and also telling everyon i wasnt gonna go. I know jack shit about what im doing and its fucking exhausting. Theres so many things that i feel like I should know but dont because all the college information given out in my highschool was geared toward the college in that town specifically, which is not the college im going to.

I've also moved. im entirely on my own, physically and financially. I just met with my job and am starting very soon which is not good because my sleep schedule is all wrong. I may be switching jobs soon, but i can't just quit becuase, like i said, im on my own.

and those are only the big two. lets speedrun this. my anxiety, my autism, i need new glasses, my feet hurt more than i think they should, im a system, my eating disorder, my aversions that make it hard to drink the water up here, the burnout, the exhaustion, executive dysfunction, i also likely have adhd which mean rsd. im touch starved and touch adverse

those are just what i can think of off the top of my head

but all of this had been leading to what might be a pretty nasty breakdown and soon.

im so fucking tired all the time and that makes it hard to draw, but thats one of my only ways to relax. i like playing mc, but i get bored easily and also i cant sit at my desk for long becuase it feels like my head is too heavy for my neck. it hurts. everything hurts and my job doesnt help me at fucking all.

i was able to draw tsob while dealing with most of my issues becuase all i had to worry about was work. looking at my current schedule, i can find the free time. the issue is using that freetime to draw and not just sleep or dissociate. finding home is very dear to me, but drawing it the way i am can be exhausting and i dont want to start hating it, so i just.. dont draw it most days

i stress constantly about how i appear on my blog becuase i want so badly to do this right. i want to be good at something, like, as a person, not just as an artist. but i hate myself too much to believe in any progress i make.

i know its the rsd mostly but i see groups and i feel gross. its not as bed now (any of you beans that have made it this far, ily /p) becuase i found a community i can actually interact with, but it still comes up, especially because i've moved away from all my irl friends and its so fucking hard for me to make them in the first place. like.. actual friends, not just people i can work with at school

if i keep going i'll probably talk myself in circles, so ill stop it here. theres a lot more but im not going to ramble about my suicidal, intrusive, or sh thoughts on this blog. this is a post to inform you guys of the state of mind im in. im lonely and sad and its all building up to a massive breakdown.

im not going to be leaving tumblr or giving up on my comic, but i probalby wont update as often as i did tsob. i just dont have the energy.

i also will probably post some of my traditional art cuz i gotta fill up a sketchbook for my animation class, so that also takes away from the time i use to draw digitally.

im so tired

#vent post #tw vent #long post #tw exhaustion #tw burnout

21 notes · View notes

sonny-whorezik · 4 months

Text

haiii ... like a week short of a month since i left everything.... i just wanted to use as Journal and catch up before i do Fully return to social media, gettin rid of the app after this post yet again:

has . been . rough. grief has been consistent the last month from my best friend and now ex leaving me, losing that new job due to being physically sick from grief and being unemployed an additional month, my best best friend my dog, sage, passed away last friday and although i left to drive to kansas i just didn't make it in time. She has wind chimes over her grave and passed listening to the sound of the wind chime my great grandma left for me. two days after her passing marked the First Full Year since my grandpa passed away, i had a dream the night before where we drove around looking at christmas lights with people no longer in my life and he just looked so so sad. i am consistently physically alone; i facetime a couple friends but i go outside alone, sleep/wake up alone, eat alone, this has been going on since i left arizona in november Most of my time is spent completely alone.

ive tried new habits. i meditate and stretch in the morning and night. i read a page a day of a stoicism book my dad got me last year with a propeller hat. i see a therapist weekly, wake up earlier, even floss now. The complete back to back to back grief has left me no choice but to just Do Something. while i would Love to share something with someone its best i reserve it to myself, yet here i am vacantly sharing my last month to who knows who...

my friend invited me to see stop making sense last night in a farther town, showed the original film not the remastered and general admission was all standing and everyone acted as if it was a real concert dancing and singing. this was my 6th time seeing it in a theater. did not cry once yet celebrated the experience i have had and although i will never have anything quite like i did with someone quite like them, at least i had it for a good portion of my life. had to devote this must be the place to myself, foreign. to be completely transparent, i do miss them every day. i do not cry like i used to, i dont let myself get consumed by thought and feeling, ive grown more desensitized as time has passed, but i still miss them of course. i consistently see things that remind me of them even when theyre not on my mind and when sage died i wanted to reach out so terribly; reminisce of the fort we built where she slept with us and i had no one to talk to but my mom who was with her til the end. i didnt. i havent reached out. it is not my place given they were the one to leave i just will not keep reaching out and chasing someone who sounded so blatantly apathetic on our last phone call. i tell myself it was just a form of self preservation to them but yknow. like. that's it, i have no choice but to experience grief with self compassion and continue on, wherever that goes.

i may be starting TMS treatment , having magnets zap my brain 5 days a week, 6 weeks. i see a cardiologist on the 30th since my chest frequently hurts and both ekgs have concerns in the pause between beats. my pulse at resting is consistently around 120 yet my blood pressure is fine; who knows. well i guess ill know actually in 10 days. im finishing a vape, got a full pack of cigarettes ive yet to touch yet plan to quit smoking here soon in hopes it helps. maybe after my pack to eliminate temptation yet not waste my money... i bought it an hour before sage passed. i barely drink coffee and dont use energy drinks anymore i do what i can for my heart now.

atticus still sleeps with me, most nights. sometimes he wanders the living room when i cant sleep. im almost halfway through galapagos. i washed my sheets for the first time since buying them in august. im very much alone and this is all fine i tell myself. the stoicism has encouraged me to alter my perspective on things more rationally as opposed to the wired self deprecating and depression-based "take everything personally" thought processes ive had for 18 years. im on my phone significantly less and i even wrote a piece on piano i may share after this post. ive been transposing it to cello, my grandma requested.

i have no interest in perusing anyone anytime soon still, whether its still too early or what i think i do just Need to do these things alone for a while. ive never found sole stability in others, i learned this at 6 with my dad, yet while outside aid would help, it is not a requirement to live however. forgive me for how long this is and for leaving once again there are a few of you i used to talk to daily and now ive just got a few contacts in my phone.

despite chronic mental illness, mourning, loneliness, you name it, ive never taken this approach before. i will typically have a suicide attempt yet here i am doing a pancake stretch and ommm-ing every morning. i keep as busy as i can, today i went through every single thing i own to sort donations and the day before i deep cleaned. there is a box wrapped in a blanket of some of the things that remind me of them. i went through it today and brought out some things like the books theyve given me, it doesnt hurt as much anymore to remember. im donating the mugs i never gave them and the one theyd use at my house when theyd come over. all their letters havent been reread yet sit in between the photo of us in the cave. it was nice to see. i am so honored they let me, of all people, share these experiences with them. i am more thankful it happened then miserable itll never happen again; at least i had it for a while. i say this yet if a year passes and i hear from them, i would love to reconnect: hear how their life has been, what they've been doing, how their family is and if they are doing better. if this has helped. while for 6 years i believed they were really it for me, whether we ever dated or not ive always considered them the only one who Really Knew who i was, how i worked, you name it. although im "moving on" by taking care of myself more, it is upsetting to admit if i ever have a chance again, id take it in a heartbeat. i say this yet still believe Even if i do never get a chance, that's okay too. While i would, i dont anticipate it, rely on it, sit in denial "theyll surely come back," its alright if they never do. i live each day as if they never will yet to my core do know that i would try again

a knee ways .. i hope you, whoever reads, is doing okay, that you feel alright and what not. you dont have to feel good every day, but at the least alright i hope ... not sure if/when ill come back maybe just once a month im unsure yet .was just in a solid enough state to do this for a moment . wish you all well ,

#story

11 notes · View notes

ru1-png · 2 years

Text

It's okay, I got you. I won't let you go. (comfort fic)

. . . Content Desc ! (ノ・ω・)ノ

i am finally back once again after a month. . . ⤿ ;; Mayoi Ayase x Reader ୧ .˚ₓ this is a . . . sad fluff // (technically angst but.. good relationship) -> TW : overall bad mental state, mentions of su!cidal thoughts. i've had this idea for a fic like this for some time technically to help me out at one point. but, now ive finally decided to actually work on it so this hopefully helps you just as it helped me. ILY <3 you're so pretty/handsome and keep on slaying !!! ^^ word count : 2099 [[ another long one.. sorry ! ]]

, , i kinda felt like changing up my formatting a bit for stuff so. . . hope it looks nice ! `` for once im not going to really write a setting up the scene, i just wanna get into things, seeing as theres not much setup i can really think of . . . ENJOY (ꈍᴗꈍ)

Staring at the ceiling for hours has become a norm for you as of late. Eyes heavy and tired, bloodshot red from having given into your feelings and bursting into tears once again. Your head can only simply register one thing, a single thought, "Why am I so tired?" But you know why you're tired, you know why you're here. But that's the last thing you want to think about. Maybe if you were to isolate your thoughts so much, it wouldn't seep out onto others, you wouldn't infect them with your incredible burnout and awful mental state. Maybe, if... you just weren't here anymore, you wouldn't have to let anybody down?

It's felt as if almost everything around you is slowly crashing down, the fact that it's all happened so slowly only makes it even worse. Like a "fuck you" that never goes away. Almost as if your new constant stresses and worries don't take up all the time in your day. Eating and sleeping have never felt like such a task, even as little as you've partaken in such tasks over these 2 weeks. "If I'm always hurting someone else or making their day worse, then why shouldn't mine be worse?" Nothing but self destructive thoughts, clawing and chipping away at the usual outspoken vivacious person that is yourself. Counting the hours that pass or occasionally opening your phone just to stare at your lock screen being the only thing keeping you from floating away in that awful fucked up brain of yours.

You feel truly utterly useless, everything you have done or tried to do has lost all its worth. The frowns of other people begin to feel like knives penetrating through you, twisting and mixing your insides, almost making you feel sick. You feel so embarrassed that your only thoughts can be "Why am I here?" or "What's stopping me." Why can't you just be normal? Why can't you just feel happy? You don't like isolating yourself, but you can't bother to leave your room even though it has been days.

As you continue laying there, every blink you make feeling tenfold of what it truly is, you are jolted back to your senses as you hear a soft knock coming from your door. Unable to really ignore it, seeing as you can't really lie about not being home, your car is outside. You return the knock, trying to hide how tired you are, "What happened?" The door then opens a small bit, only being the slightest bit ajar, just barely enough for a head to stick out from it. And that is just what happened, suddenly you see at first small bits of messy plum-purple hair stick in through the small crevice made. Then, you begin to see it, the face of the oh so lovely yet oh so timid Mayoi. At that very moment, it then suddenly hit you... "You've probably had your boyfriend worried sick this whole time." Mayoi had always been the type to show the highest bit of concern for you, no matter what was going on. But, he would never want to invade your privacy, if he think you needed your own space, he'd give just that. Even so, he'd always be right there by your side no matter what, through thick and thin Mayoi was there even if you two haven't decided to move in with each other yet. He would often have his moments where his overwhelming stresses and anxieties get the better of him and he can't help but break into a panic, being able to comfort him and help him through that would send your heart to the moon.

Mayoi's whole head suddenly peeks through the door, you hear a slight rustle coming from what seems to be something in his hand which is obstructed by the doors view. His striking cyan eyes always catch you off guard. It's always as if they are staring into the deepest part of your body, just studying you. With a concerned frown on his face, he can't help but see how tired you look, and seeing your face slightly red from the previous crying you had done only makes him more worried. Finally, Mayoi musters up the courage to say something.

"Y/n.. I'm really worried about you. Y-you haven't come out of your room in a few days, I'm so sorry for being a bother but, d-do you need me to stay for a few days?" Mayoi sounds like he might even shed a tear himself, you are simply shooken to your core seeing his face, the true worry, sadness, confusion. You don't want to leave Mayoi like that, but no matter what it just feels like you can't get your shit together. Feeling such guilt and doing nothing more than blaming yourself for Mayoi's concern, you ask him to come into your room.

He becomes a bit flustered at the request, "Are you sure I should come in? I don't want to invade your space."

"How could such a considerate person deserve me.." you'd think to yourself and you fight the urge to frown even more noticeably. "It's just fine Mayoi, you're welcome into my room at any time, please don't feel worried to step in." You give him the most comforting smile your face can possibly contort into. The plum haired boy begins moving around the scattered clothes and small bits of garbage flooding the ground, trying his very best not to step on anything. Along with the more steps into your room he took, the rustling noise from before had been revealed to you to have been indeed a bag that was hanging from his wrist.

Every second he inches closer to your bed, you can feel your body tensing up, your heart rate only raising. "He shouldn't have to go through all this trouble for me, why do I cause him all this trouble? I should be a normal, loving, happy partner, yet here I am. Doing nothing but causing him trouble. Why do I keep on making mistakes, I'm only hurting him, why would he even stay with me if I'm that much of a bother, why am I even here anymore?!" You can't help but panic, why must you torment yourself like this any time someone dares to care about you, any time someone would even try to open their heart to a vile awful person like you.

Suddenly, as Mayoi reaches your bed, you have lost all track of your thoughts, how far you have sent yourself in terms of blind panic. Because, low and behold, you are already in tears, sitting there right in front of Mayoi. You are only made aware of this once you feel one of the crystal drops run down your cheek, almost tickling it. Mayoi jumps a bit, not expecting this sudden reaction.

"Y-Y/n?! D-did I do something wrong, are you alright?! Please don't cry.... I'm sorry, I'M SORRY!" A billion thoughts rush into Mayoi's head slightly sending him into a panic aswell. You can't help but blame yourself as always for this situation. But, you do the only thing that you think you can do right now, you just... hug him, you latch your arms around Mayoi and you don't let go. Almost having him in a death grip, you can do nothing more than try to let yourself feel the warm embrace and try to calm your boyfriend down. You let out sudden sporadic sobs, not being able to contain all these bottled up feelings, Mayoi suddenly shakes each time you let one of the sobs out.

After choking on your words more than enough, you are finally able to get a few words out. "Mayoi... I'm-" you take a deep breath trying to stop another sob from coming out, "I'm so sorry.." but you couldn't stop it, more tears came out. "I do nothing but hurt you, I do nothing but cause you pain, I keep on bringing you down with my problems. I'm so sorry for everything I've done to you, I don't want to be constantly worrying you, but somehow I can always fuck up and do just that. I keep on fucking up for everyone, no matter how hard I try. I'm just... so tired, I'm tired and I can't do this anymore. It's all so hard, I'm just a waste of space that's been nothing but a useless burden to everyone." You take one last shaky breath, more tears coming, "I'm sorry....". You can no longer comprehend any basic words to use to express how you feel, absolutely out of any energy to say anything more. You just dig your head into Mayoi's shoulder, and once again hug him.

It takes a while for anything else to happen, but that's fine with you, just being in Mayoi's arms gives you a sense of comfort, but an unimaginable sense of pain. His hand begins to reach for your hair, as he shakily strokes it, just like a parent would with their child trying to lull them to sleep.

"Y/n... you haven't done a single thing wrong. I'm so sorry these feelings have been bothering you so much. Please tell me... y/n" He hesitates, slowing down the gentle strokes in your h/c hair, "Are y-you okay y/n? I'm really sorry for asking but, I can't see you so sad like this. I'm in no place to assume how you feel, so please, if you have anything going on, you can tell me."

Knowing Mayoi would be willing to give that kind of space to open up about how you feel, you decide to finally let it out. Though the embarrassment won't go away, though all the bad thoughts feel so loud, you can't keep this from him anymore. It's not worth keeping it all in anymore, not when Mayoi is so concerned about you. You suddenly begin to let everything out, talking about your struggles, your constant concerns, and well.. the thoughts you've had. Being as brutally honest as you can is all you can do, but you make sure to remind Mayoi that none of this is his fault and in no ways are you upset at him. The last thing you would want is to have him panicking which would only make things worse. The fact that he is even here listening to you, and so intently as he is already enough of a shocker.

"That's... about all, I'm so sorry about the mess aswell, I'm just.. a mess right now." You sigh as you look downward with a look of shame and embarrassment that you'd let things get this low. It takes Mayoi a bit of time to find the right words to say, a process which normally would take him a fair amount of time. Once finding out what he wants to say and how to say it, he gently holds your hand, looking into your e/c eyes with the same look you always get as you stare into his eyes.

"Y/n, you've never been anything of a bother, I should have checked on you more. Never would I believe you deserve any of this..." He pauses. Getting lost in your gaze, which shakes him up a bit, he regains his grounds, "I-i want to help you in any ways that I can... I love you, and I will be here for you. Though I am nowhere close to anything above average, I want to love and care for you in whatever ways I can. Everything is going to be okay y/n, I got you. I won't let you go."

The last sentence he let out shook you to your core, and you could feel yourself tearing up again. You then fall right into him, but not suddenly enough to catch him off guard, and you just lay there. Never has an embrace felt so... comforting, so loving, so reassuring. But, Mayoi has proved a hug like that can exist and that yes... everything might end up really being okay. After some time, you sit back up. Mayoi looks to his left where he had placed the bag he had in hand down during the breakdown, and he passes you the bag.

"I'm s-sorry if you aren't hungry, but just in case you are, I got you your favorite." He slightly blushes as you open the bag to find a large assortment of foods and snacks you like; you can't help but smile and look at him.

"Thank you Mayoi... thank you, I love you"

#enstars #ensemble stars #comfort #comfort fic #mayoi ayase #ayase mayoi #enstars x y/n #enstars x reader #ensemble stars x reader #ensemble stars x y/n #ilysm

176 notes · View notes

buggerzz · 5 months

Note

any product recs/stuff that makes ur life easier for a struggling disabled artist ? orz

I dont have much money so i have not bought a lot of things-

With my joint issues, it helps to wear compression stuff. Especially gloves. Trust me. Its worth it.

Generally bracing, i usually do my knees and wrist if needed. If i know im going to be standing or walking a lot, ill brace my knees. (I need to get new knee braces bc the ones i have currently are not doing what they need to)

ARTIST WISE- definitely compression gloves. If u use a tablet they are also good drawing gloves to protect the tablet from oils! If u crochet or knit or craft, theyre very helpful in preventing carpal tunnel aswell!

Always keep note of ur body! "Do my wrists need a break? Is this position ok on my knees? Am i subluxating my shoulder rn????" And other questions about breaks and positioning help me to. I also currently have my tablet and most crafts next to my bed, so if it gets especially bad i can lay down or move. Also nearby my meds lmao. Its also WAY easier to prop up my shoulders, knees, etc. And keep them from hyperextending in bed.

Also also, i have that all set up on a medical table like this. I got mine from my mom after her surgeries, but i reccomend getting a much bigger one because mine is a balancing act. Not good. GET ONE WITH WHEELS!!!! my one also pivots so i dont need to sleep with it over me or mess with it much.

I have a pain chart to assess where im at, if i pass an 8 i take a break or at LEAST grab my heat pad/pain meds.

I also keep water handy!! If i need meds or if im cramping/spasming it helps me to drink water.

Other tips i have are getting a stool to sit on in the shower! A shower chair would be better, but i share my bathroom with 3 other people and also. Money. So i dont have one currently. Also for showers- if it's harder for you to do hygeine because of your physical OR mental state, you can brush your teeth in the shower. Do it before washing, but like. Its better than not brushing, and when thats all you can do, do it. Also also, having something IN the shower to hold on to- sitting or standing, can also help. I have water guards and those have saved my skull TOO MANY TIMES. also showers help my brain and my body! The water temperature can act as an all over heating pad or ice pack and help with pain.

I love showers they are my best friend. Sad? Get in the shower. Hurt? Into the shower!!!

Heat pads help me, other people react well to heat. See if pain meds can help, but i only really take mine when im at an 8-10 because im paranoid about medicines.

Physical therapy ofc, its been helping me a bit. My place is pretty affordable too! Got lucky with that.

The only other thing I recommend is a rolling chair. If you have mobility issues or your knees hurt too bad to walk, but wheelchairs/mobility aids are too expensive, a rolling chair can work in the house. It's hard to go over bumps, but it's possible. My chair is ALSO broken !!! The back broke off because we've had it for 6+ years. Generally stools and chairs are good. Also just recognizing that you can do a decent amount of stuff while sitting helps. Just ,, sit.

Obv actual mobility aids are BETTER, but I dont have access to them so I make do!!!

Food wise, it can be SOO much easier to eat convenience meals (microwave stuff, sandwiches, etc) and if thats all u have to work with, its better than nothing! But i do reccomend having leftovers when you cook. Microwave that and its usually healthier and tastier and just as easy and non-physically taxing.

I also like to work ahead whemever possible. On good days i will prepare EVERYTHING needed for any physically hard task i have coming up. If i need a checklist or tasklist or a bag of items or to find something i lost, ill do that when its easiest.

ANYWAYS THAT WAS LONG. TLDR: rolly chairs, bed tables,compression gloves & other compression stuff, joint braces, topical treatments, pain meds, stools for the shower & other items for shower safety. HEAT PADS /ice packs

Actions: regular physical checkins, sit down more, do pt if possible, roll around the house, shower more, keep water handy, make extra leftovers for later, shower more, do what u can WHEN u can, prop up/support any loose joints with pillows.

#artists on tumblr #disability #disabled #disabled artist #disability tips #ask

7 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

darksmokee

God bless Jesus

aussiesmag

Aussie's Mag

leavemebetosleep

...zzzZZZzzz...

bella-and-beyond

Admirer of Beauty

pastpresentorfuture

Untitled