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#all hail au
byrobird · 9 months
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My toxic tolkien trait is to draw boromir as if he survived and lived through all the Lotr events
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danibee33 · 1 month
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The Queen’s Guard
*COD medieval au - Simon Riley x reader
cw: arranged marriage, dark themes, attempted sa & non-graphic sa but pls *read at your own discretion*, gore/violence, sexual themes, etc.
word count: 1.1k
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“Again.”
You can’t help but to flinch at the sound of swords being drawn; it rings in your ears, echos in the recesses of your brain. The piercing, metallic clangs resound throughout the room-
How long had you been here, anyway? Judging from the sunlight that peers through the high transom windows, its golden rays giving the great hall an ethereal sort of glow, it must be nearing time for dinner-
“I’ve seen enough, thank you.”
With a dismissive wave, you rise from the bronze throne and turn on your heel, eyes focused straight ahead, fixated on the intricate carvings in the doors, your escape just within reach-
“Your Grace..”
General Leon’s voice is laced with exasperation and warning, and your long history with him is the only reason you halt, your handmaid nearly bumping into you as you turn again- the young woman struggling to rearrange the ridiculous train on your gown as the man speaks,
“You cannot continue on without a Queen’s Guard- His Grace demands the position be filled.”
Oh, of course. How thoughtful of your kind husband. The husband who only sees you when the physicians deem you fertile enough to produce an heir. The husband who you’re not even sure could pick your face in a crowd because he only ever fucks you from behind, your face pushed down into the animal furs beneath you.
The husband who killed your last guard, gods rest his soul.
Yes, I’m sure he’s very concerned for my safety..
You give a heavy sigh, fighting the urge to roll your eyes as you feel the placating smile tug at your lips; the one you’re so, so good at. The practiced smile that puts everyone in the room at ease, the one you’ve perfected in your relatively short existence of being groomed for this very life.
The life everyone dreams of, a life of royalty, of the highest privilege and power- how little they truly know.
“Of course, please, let us meet the next one then.”
Taking your place upon the throne once again, you sit properly, prim and demure, just like you were taught. The very picture of perfection in your emerald colored silks, not a single hair out of place-
Yet, inside, you were wasting away, your thoughts boiling and raging, your anger smoldering just under the surface, like a vein of coal in the earth that’s been lit aflame- the embers never dying, but never able to turn into the inferno they so wishe to be.
You don’t bother to spare your gaze when the doors open with a low groan, the quiet footfalls that enter the space only really given away by the shifting of chainmail and armor.
They’re confident strides, you notice- long and steady, and without even seeing him yet, you can feel the energy shift around you, his presence seeming to fill every available void,
“Ser Simon Riley, Your Grace.”
With one look, you’re utterly struck by the imposing man walking towards you- shoulders and hips swaying with each deliberate step, left hand resting lazily on the hilt of his long-sword.
His armor plates are dark, obsidian in hue, so different from the usual flashy silver you see everywhere you look. He is a looming shadow in front of you, somehow as wide as he is tall, if that were possible- and his eyes. The skin around them have been smudged with kohl, making the mottled amber of his irises look preternatural, his unmoving gaze entirely focused on you, even when he bows,
“Your Majesty.”
Your mind screams danger, much like it would if a fully grown wolf had just sauntered through the doors, looking for its next meal- and yet, for as much fear as he inspires, there’s something that draws you in- like a siren singing to sailors lost at sea.
Returning his gesture, you gently nod, holding his eyes until the General calls him back to assume a fighting stance; and even then, you swear you see his head tilt just so, just enough to flash you an arrogant look as the guard takes his place across from him. Ser Simon must easily stand a head and a half taller than the other man, you think, his figure even more impressive than it was before.
The men exchange nods before drawing swords, their dance beginning the same as all the others, assessing and calculating each other until the guard makes the first move-
The heavy whoosh of his blade is dodged with little effort, the giant wraith of a man moving far faster than any of you expected. He gracefully ducks under the other’s still outstretched arm, placing himself in the perfect position to swing his own sword towards his opponent's exposed neck- a maneuver surely meant to behead if this were anything other than a mock duel.
“Reset-”
“No.” You stand abruptly, stepping down from the throne much to your own surprise, “Ser Simon, what experience do you have as a Royal Guard?”
“Your Grace, this is-”
With a raised hand, you quiet the General, watching the mysterious knight sheath his sword once more, bowing again as he faces you,
“None, Your Majesty.”
Well, at least he’s honest.
“What experience do you have then?”
His head tilts to the side, and you watch the other guards tense when he takes a single step closer, those damned eyes gleaming down at you with a hunger you’ve never quite seen before,
“Battle, Your Grace. I’ve seen far more than most.”
This time, it’s you moving towards him, and when you step closer, the Kingsguard follows suit, though it seems nothing goes unnoticed by the towering specter.
“Well, Ser, I do not go into battle.. You might be better suited for my husband’s army, no?”
You watch the very corners of his eyes crinkle slightly, his gaze narrowing in amusement, and you’re positive you would see a devilish smile on his lips if he removed the helmet,
“I might.” He says flippantly, broad shoulders shrugging as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, “But, I came here to serve you, My Queen.”
A deep and burning chill blooms in your core at his words and the resolute way he says them; it lights every nerve on fire, every cell and molecule, every atom in your being vibrating at a frequency you’ve never felt as the title rolls off his gilded tongue.
No, you’ve never met a man quite like this, and part of you questions if he truly is just a man at all- because no man has ever felt like this, no man has ever been able to pick you apart so quickly, make you feel bare with just his gaze alone.
He terrifies you as much as he excites you, and oh, how you’ve longed to feel something other than loathing, and boredom.
There is nothing practiced or placating about the smirk on your lips now as you nod toward your General, your handmaid once again adjusting the cumbersome fabric of your gown as you move forward-
“Well, you’ve gotten your wish, Ser Simon.” You coo as you breeze past him without a parting glance, “General Leon, make sure my guard is taken to his new quarters, will you?”
They fall into a sweeping bow as you exit, a quiet acknowledgement being the last thing you hear before the deep pulsing of your own heartbeat fills your ears.
What in the seven hells have I done..
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[chapter 2 >>>]
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selcouth-vast-poet · 1 year
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okay i tthink i did it YIPPEEEE
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dangthatscrayz · 2 months
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Guess who forgot I can’t just jump to the woods again
Part 13 of my slay the princess swap au
(Smitten/damsel route)
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ATP it’s bully the narrator simulator (you’ll be seeing alot of bullying the narrator with the stp swap au I just feel like most the princesses personalities turning into voices would figure out they can screw around with the story quicker)
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pigeorcas · 6 months
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theRed Sea Idate design by @beeflibeef goes really fucking hard and i am so attracted to him
i hope I've done it justice
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snowblitzs · 2 months
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First HTB(oc version) fanart lets GOOO🔥 I love this little story thing so much y’all don’t understand…. Once redesigns come out I’m going to draw so much you guys don’t even know.
For @mustangs-flames !!! If you haven’t read Hail True Body do it NOWW🫵
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I also drew this little mimic version and a doodle
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scoops-aboy86 · 4 months
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what about a little office au? no upside down, maybe still in hawkins, steve in his parents abandoned house or maybe he’s just outside a city, with robin. and steve’s been at the job a few years, he’s a little stuck maybe. he’s definitely bored, but it’s fine, he’s just bored.
and then eddie joins his floor and steve can’t take his eyes off of him, he’s so interesting. and pretty. even if his top button is never done and his tie is always a little loose.
and then they do talk a little and eddie’s nice, he’s funny and goofy and steve knows he said a couple embarrassing replies to the guy due to his nerves but eddie has just laughed and gone along with it. it was so nice.
so steve decides he needs to talk to him more and needs an excuse to. so he bakes cupcakes, knowing his recipe is good and knowing he could work out a way to get eddie to take a break with him to have one.
the day he brings them in he leaves them in the kitchenette with a little note reading ‘help yourself!’ and steve just tries to get some work done without thinking about eddie too much, planning on talking to him later. but at around 11 eddie himself appears at his desk with a cupcake on a napkin, offering it to steve with such a sweet smile that steve just doesn’t have the heart to tell him that they’re his cupcakes. instead he says thanks and starts eating it, says ‘it’s good!’ even though he knows they’re good because steve ate three last night because they wouldn’t fit in the tupperware. but maybe it’s not so bad, because eddie lingers until he finishes it, says he’s planning on grabbing one at lunch, asks steve about his weekend plans and it seems so genuine and lovely that steve forgets all about the original cupcake plan.
instead, steve tries again the next week, this time with cookies. but the same thing happens, eddie beats him to it, walking over at around 11 with three stacked neatly in a napkin, offering them to steve and saying the same thing about getting one later. steve again saying nothing about spending all sunday making them. (the first batch came out so wonky however that he was too embarrassed to take them in, instead making a brand new lot and maybe making his way through the dud ones that night, half a gallon of whole milk to dunk them in). but eddie stays and they talk again, steve finishing all three large chocolate filled cookies without even realising it. his plan failing again but he manages a much better one, asking if he can sit with eddie at lunch and getting another smile (this one with dimples) and a ‘i’d like that’. he gets to see eddie try and seem to really like his cookies, so steve brings a small stack over for them to share. steve not realising till he back at his desk that he was the one who ended up eating them, eddie only had like one and a half.
and maybe steve keeps spending his sundays baking, spending mondays with eddie, eventually finding out eddie doesn’t really have a sweet tooth at all. but by that point steve definitely does…
(This got a little long, so buckle up.)
Oooh, yes. I’m thinking the suburbs somewhere, and he has a little bit of a commute into the office. It’s a job that a monkey could do but, well, he’s being paid to be that monkey. By the end of the day he just wants to get home and do anything that he actually wants to do, which tends to be prioritized by the path of least resistance. He’s generally gotten more sedentary on weeknights, watching movies and ordering takeout with Robin so neither of them have to cook. 
And then here’s this guy that was just assigned to the cubicle across from Steve’s who is just captivating, all wild hair and quirky grins and an apparently poor grasp of how to tie a tie, and Steve is just… losing his mind a little bit. He starts waking up actually wanting to go to work, kind of? But at the same time his concentration on anything while he’s there is totally shot. Every time he hears Eddie’s voice he’s immediately distracted, wishing the words were directed at him even though it’s usually boring work shit. 
At first, Eddie isn’t too talkative around the office. But maybe that’s just the distraction of settling into a new place, new job, new routine—because after a couple of weeks, Steve starts hearing him all the time. And, of course, Eddie comes over to introduce himself, a little sheepish that it’s taken him this long when they’re basically within each other’s line of sight for eight hours straight, nine of they both stay at their desks during lunch. Steve, who has had to restrain himself from openly staring ever since a few hours into Eddie’s first day, manages to answer Eddie’s nice to meet you with a mortifying “I’m nice to meet,” but Eddie just laughs like he’s told a funny joke and they move on. Which is great! And also, Steve wants to wrap himself up in Eddie’s laugh and live there forever. 
Very quickly, Steve decides he needs to talk to him more. Maybe impress him with something. Which… He doesn’t really know Eddie, or what might impress him. Most of Steve’s strengths in the past have tended towards athletics, but there aren’t many opportunities to showcase that in an office. After racking his brain for a few days, he ends up cracking the single cookbook his kitchen has to offer, because people bring donuts for the break room all the time. Why not do something like that? Maybe he can get Eddie to take a break with him to have one, and if he likes them maybe Steve can let slip that he made them…
So Steve blows off his usual jogging routine and spends his entire weekend in the kitchen. For most of Saturday he does test batches on the cupcake recipe in the back of the book because he wants to make sure he does this right. (And his first try coming out of the oven weirdly flat might be a factor, just maybe.) Sunday is reserved for decorating, after a morning of hitting the local cooking store for some things. He practices on the duds (read: did not meet his own probably high standards for impressing Eddie) first, and finds he kind of likes it. By the end of the day he has them looking just like in the picture beside the recipe, neatly swirled piping and sprinkles and all. 
On Monday, when Eddie comes by and offers Steve one of his own cupcakes “before they’re all snatched up” and a wink, oh my god… Steve’s brain flatlines and for some reason he eats the cupcake frosting first, just licking it right off the top like it’s some sort of ice cream cone, like an idiot. But Eddie is nice enough not to comment. In fact, he wheels his desk chair over and eats the sandwich he brought from home in the middle of Steve’s “doorway,” making his way through a sandwich while Steve finishes the cupcake, his own lunch, and…
Okay, so, meanwhile, Eddie is absolutely beside himself over how hot this guy is. This job was a last resort, an it’s-this-or-eviction choice after trying to make it with his band didn’t quite pan out, but he’s starting to appreciate it for the perks. And Steve keeps wanting to talk! To him! So when he’d seen those cupcakes in the break room, he knew that bringing Steve one would be a great excuse to drop by right around the lunching hour. The whole… frosting thing kind of makes his brain short out from excessive horniness, that tongue and those lips should be illegal probably. Sometimes Steve gets really into the conversation and is excited enough to talk with his mouth full, which is endearing as hell—and who knew such a clean-cut guy would know anything about d&d, let alone be interested in hearing about some of his old campaigns? (Apparently there were these kids Steve used to babysit and still keeps in touch with, and they’ve been playing forever.) Eddie is enjoying himself so much that he bounces back into the break room for one more cupcake. “It was the last one, you have it,” he says, presenting it to Steve. It is totally not a ploy to watch him eat more. (Yes it is. And it works.)
Next week, it’s cookies. Eddie figures that three cookies are an equivalent offering to one cupcake, and he doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth so he lets Steve eat most of them. Again they have lunch together in Steve’s cubicle, and again Eddie fetches more baked goods for dessert, because, “It’s a Monday, man. Gotta brighten it up somehow.” And then shows Steve his tattoo of Garfield smoking a blunt. 
If Steve hadn’t already been sitting down, the revelation that Eddie has tattoos would’ve taken him out at the knees. And they’re not all that cartoony—the wyvern and the puppetmaster are both cool designs, and he thinks the simple bat silhouettes are cute. Not as cute as Eddie’s dimples, which are another thing that make Steve grateful for his trusty desk chair.
This goes on for a while. Steve gets another cookbook, this one devoted entirely to desserts, and makes his way through it page by page. He finds that he really likes baking, actually, and it’s nice to have a hobby again. It’s just… they’re getting more elaborate, and increasingly impractical to bring for sharing around the office. He knows the cheesecake is pushing it, and it’s over a slice that they’re nominally sharing but he’s absently made his way through most of that he finally gets up the nerve to ask Eddie if he’d like to hang out after work sometime. 
And this leads to the first time Steve sees Eddie outside of his work clothes. Hair even wilder than usual, metal band tee and a leather jacket over tight black jeans and boots. Meanwhile, Steve has… maybe miscalculated a bit, because all that baking (or, really, the eating of it) is starting to show. And he doesn’t go out all that much, not since his wild party days during high school, so his selection of non-work clothes isn’t exactly robust. But he thinks he did okay with his yellow sweater and jeans, even if the latter are a little tight at his thighs and middle. No one’s going to notice, right?
Eddie notices. He barely keeps from stammering as he joins Steve at the bar, covering it up with a hasty suggestion that they buy each other a drink they think they’d like. Steve orders Eddie some sort of beer, but Eddie, who used to take the odd bartending gig here and there, orders Steve a creamy looking drink that tastes exactly like a boozy, melted vanilla milkshake. “It’s called a Screaming Orgasm,” he explains with a smirk. “Kahlua, amaretto, vodka, Bailey’s, and heavy cream.” He leans in close and murmurs in Steve’s ear while he’s taking his next sip, “The vodka makes it scream.” They end up closing down the bar, not overdoing it on the drinks (thanks in part to the snacks Eddie keeps ordering and Steve keeps absentmindedly powering through throughout their nonstop conversation) but staying out pretty late for a work day, and one thing leads to another, and… they both end up calling out sick the next morning, cozied up together in Steve’s apartment. 
When they eventually roll out of bed, Eddie sees and starts flipping thorough the cookbooks in the kitchen while Steve makes coffee. A lot of the pictures look familiar and he starts to grin. Turning and seeing what he’s looking at, Steve blushes because oops, busted.
But Eddie turns to the next page past the cheesecake and taps the recipe for molten chocolate cakes. “Can you make this?”
“For… breakfast?”
“Yeah.” Eddie, who isn’t much of a breakfast person any more than he has a sweet tooth, eyes Steve and licks his lips. “We’re already playing hooky, let’s break all the rules.”
Steve ends up making the lava cakes with little protest. And maybe he ends up eating most of them, but he’s proud of how they turned out! Perfect on the first try, fluffy on the outside and gooey on the inside, and he separated the eggs without breaking any yokes, which is always worth celebrating. 
Besides, Eddie enjoys them greatly all the same, scooting two kitchen chairs so close together that he’s practically on Steve’s lap while chocolate-flavored stealing kisses between bites. The serious sweet tooth that Steve has developed lately is in heaven. 
Cut to another few months later, and Steve has already developed a much healthier work-life balance. Sometimes he still clocks out and has a movies and takeout night with Robin; sometimes Eddie joins them, getting along with Robin so well that they sometimes gang up on Steve (affectionately); sometimes it’s a date night, which about half the time means a baking night, too. It’s nice to have a partner in the kitchen, and they work well together. 
At their day job, sweet treats still show up in their floor’s break room every Monday like clockwork. Some of their coworkers have caught on to who brings them, and a few have gone out of their way to assure Steve (particularly after he started experimenting with flakey pastries) that if he ever quits to open his own bakery they’ll be his first and most loyal customers. It’s… a thought. Steve has secretly been looking into what all he’d have to do to pull that off, though he hasn’t made any decisions yet. Maybe when the arms of his trusty desk chair start cutting into his sides, the way they’re starting to threaten to, he’ll get serious about it. 
So yeah, treats in the break room every Monday. And there are treats packed in Steve’s lunches every other day of the weekday too, just for him and Eddie to enjoy at one or the other of their desks. Steve still eats most of them, but he’s also been experimenting with savory hand pies and Eddie puts up more of a fight for those. 
One weekend, Eddie coaxes Steve to dress up in the clothes he wore for their sort-of-accidental first date, and they barely fit anymore. 
Steve would be embarrassed by how many tries it takes and how much he has to suck in to get the jeans buttoned, let alone all the jumping and shimmying he’d had to do to get them up his thighs, except Eddie is on him immediately. Feeling around the waistband, his hands sliding into his back pockets with a squeeze, rings pressing into Steve’s ass through the straining denim, then slipping back out to tug the sweater down and tight over Steve’s belly, (which as per usual is stuffed with Steve’s own sweet cooking). 
“It suits you,” Eddie all but purrs, and it’s hard not to preen when being groped and spoken to like that. “Is any of that peach cobbler still left?”
Lunchtime is close enough that Steve’s stomach gives an eager little grumble at the thought, and yeah, he could go for some of that right now. 
With a chuckle, Eddie goes to grab a familiar Tupperware out of the fridge and a fork from the silverware drawer. He doesn’t bother with a plate, and follows Steve to the couch only to settle himself on his lap, first bite already ready to go and teasing at Steve’s lips. 
“Still can’t believe you let me seduce you with your own cooking, sweetheart,” he says, watching the other man’s mouth close around the forkful with wide, dark eyes. Their next kiss is fruity, buttery, sweet. “Mmm. Can’t believe you learned to bake because of me.”
“Yeah, because I got nothing out of that,” Steve replies with a chuckle, patting and then rubbing a hand in slow circles over his belly, coyly letting it ride up a little to see if Eddie reacts. 
He does; he always does. Eddie is transfixed by the crescent moon of skin this reveals, distracted for once from Steve’s lips as he feeds him the next bite. (This also works when Steve really wants to make a case for rewatching The Breakfast Club for the millionth time.) 
So yeah, Steve is pretty happy with his life these days. He’s also pretty sure he’s in love with this man who still for the life of him cannot tie a tie properly. He’ll probably tell Eddie soon, even. 
For now, he enjoys his mouthful of cobbler and lapful of boyfriend, and spreads his legs a little with a contented sigh as his ill-fitting jeans grow ever tighter. 
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creepycatboyz · 11 months
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Teehee :3
In honor of chapter 3 of old rugged cross the two sillies
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alexsorsis · 1 month
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you know what? F#ck you (proceeds too yeet fanart your way)
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looks like blue got out
@ask-the-cat-cafe was the main reference for the drawing
Ccino!sans (aka fluffy!sans) belong to @black-nyanko.
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corvidaeconundrum · 22 days
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More warrior cats au!
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More designs! Morningstar, Copperstrike, Robinsong, Nobody, and Fawnstalk! Love them sm, Morningstar is unfairly pretty
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And some Cedarlily and Robinwind fluff! They’re so friendship. Queerplatonic scrimblos. I love making them happy together they deserve to have their friendship, they’re so perfect for eachother, platonic soulmates
( @mustangs-flames )
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sirkinnosthewonder · 9 days
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The Ultimate Life Form!
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mltdg · 2 months
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I didn't have anything planned for April Fools so instead have this bio and redesign I made for Diamondswapped Pink. I think it's somewhat appropriate.
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libby1080 · 2 months
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Cecil sprite
You can’t say no to a voice like that
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art-from-within · 8 days
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[The Lord of Blood meets Lord of Blood the battlefield]
“Wrong palace, Godfrey.”
“No no. I am exactly where I came for.”
(headcanon) Part 1 Part2
Without the Lighting, i think it helps better appreciate the details on Mohg and Hoarah. Also godfrey may have awakened something in me
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goldenamaranthe-blog · 10 months
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The step parent Yang posts make me think of that shirt that say "I'm not the step-dad, I'm the dad that stepped up"
@all-hail-queen-of-trash-kree
Yes! To all of it! I can also see Yang being a blubbering mess when she's given the shirt as a gift, because you don't just buy yourself something like that and not be a piece of work.
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
-6 months of dating later-
Blake: Yang, Cubby has something she wants to give you.
Yang: (immediately stops everything she's doing) Really??? What is it, Cub?
Kela: (hiding nervously behind a gift bag)
Blake: (kneels down and nudges Cub forward) Go ahead, Sweetheart.
Kela: (holds out gift) H-Here you go, Yang. I-I asked mommy to help me get you something...
Yang: Aww, thanks, Kela! (ruffles Cubby's hair and starts shifting through the tissue paper) What's the occasion? It isn't my birthday.
Kela: (holds hands behind back shyly) My friends were talking about getting their daddies presents for Father's Day, and I wanted to get you something... I did the colors myself!
Yang: (mental record screech)
Blake: I, uh, get that it's a bit early for something like this, but she really wanted to get you something no matter what I- Yang...are you okay?
Yang: (teary eyed and blubbering mess as she holds up a tacky, obviously clumsily, homemade yellow, orange, and purple tie-die shirt that has "I'm not the step-dad, I'm the dad that stepped up" written on it)
Kela: (curls in on herself) Do you not like it?
Yang: (hurriedly strips and puts the new shirt on while puffing her chest proudly) *sniff* This is my new favorite shirt!
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kingsnake101 · 27 days
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Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, Linked Universe - Fandom Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Four & Hyrule & Legend & Sky & Time & Twilight & Warriors & Wild & Wind (Linked Universe), Four & Warriors (Linked Universe) Characters: Four (Linked Universe), Yiga Clan (Legend of Zelda), Warriors (Linked Universe), the others might join at some point Additional Tags: Minish Four (Linked Universe), Crack, Kidnapping, Misunderstandings, Four (Linked Universe)-centric, Yiga!Four, Kinda, Master Banana
If you read the original fic, most of the second chapter is the same but I added more at the end. It’s worth a re-read!
Chapter 2! So, I changed how things are going to work so I can get the most out of this ridiculous premise. The adventures of Master Banana cannot be fully explored in only one timeline. So, I made more. My current plan is to make a different timeline for each LU boy, where they get captured by the Yiga and escape with Master Banana. The Wild chapter is in the works, although it won’t have that much Wild in it unfortunately. Four can’t risk keeping him around the Yiga base, but there might be another way his brother can help the Smithy escape...
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