#alien box man confirmed

[vivdagoof]

just because I haven't seen anyone address this

do you guys think Christopher from tua was born human and turned into a cube-box thing later in life as his powers developed

or

was he like born a cube and his poor mother who did not ask for it was like "well I just had a child might as well look after it- oH WHAT THE FUCK IS T H A T"

or

was Christopher's mother a cube as well? if so that theory offers the thought that their are aliens in the tua universe?? is Christopher an alien???

#honestly I wouldn't be surprised #tua #the umbrella academy #christopher hargreeves #five hargreeves #Klaus Hargreeves #alien box man confirmed #I need answers like right now #does anyone write Christopher Hargreeves fan fiction or am I insane #the sparrow academy #ben hargreeves #who voiced him and how much were they paid

[nellasbookplanet]

Book recs: Queer science fiction, part 1

There is a lot of queer sf out there, and I read a lot of sf. When I started working on this list, I quickly realized it was impossible to include all that I've read and enjoyed in one single rec post. Thus, this is the first of so far three queer sci-fi book rec posts.

A note: queer here does not necessarily mean "guarantee of an f/f or m/m ship with a happy ending", but rather simply a significant presence of queerness. Some of the books feature no romance but has a same gender attracted/trans/a-spectrum lead, or features an m/f relationship with bisexual, trans or aro/ace characters, or simply features a world-building which is heavily queer inclusive in ways that don't always compare to our own ideas of sexuality and gender. I have however disqualified works where the only queer presence is along the lines of "gay best friend" or a blink and you'll miss it confirmation that never comes up again.

Previous book rec posts:

Really cool fantasy worldbuilding, really cool sci-fi worldbuilding, dark sapphic romances, mermaid books, vampire books, many worlds: portal fantasies, many worlds: alternate timelines, robots and artificial intelligences, post- and transhumanism, alien intelligences

For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!

The Light Brigade by Kameron Hurley*

Dietz is a soldier in the war between Earth and Mars - to travel to the battle front, she and her fellow soldiers are broken down into light to be able to quickly travel across space. But something keeps going wrong with Dietz's travels; her memories don't match up with the mission briefs, as she experiences time itself turning in on itself. Is she going mad? Or are the things she's learning skipping through time the truth - and the war that's stealing her life the lie? A mindfuck of a book that's scathing in its critique of fascism and war. Features a sapphic lead but no romance.

A Psalm for the Wild-Built (Monk and Robot duology) by Becky Chambers

Novella. Long ago, robots, upon gaining sentience, simply laid down their work and walked into the wilderness. Long after, a tea monk looking for purpose follows after them into the wilds, where they come across one of the robots seeking its own sort of answers. While not plotless, this story focuses more on character and vibes over plot. Also has a nonbinary main character and features conversations on gender between human and robot.

Meet Me In Another Life by Catriona Silvey*

Thora and Santi are strangers, brought together by a coincidence and torn apart just as abruptly when tragedy strikes. But this is neither the first nor the last time they meet - again and again they encounter each other, as friends, lovers, enemies, family, every time recognizing in each other a familiarity no one else carries. But with every new life, a mysterious danger grows ever closer, forcing them to find out the truth of their connection. This is a puzzle-box of a story that goes some entirely unexpected places in a very wild ride, featuring a bisexual co-lead.

The Archive Undying (The Downworld Sequence) by Emma Mieko Candon

In a world where AI gods sometimes lose their minds and take entire populations down with them, Sunai was the only survivor when his god went down. In the 17 years since, he has wandered on his own, unable to either die or age, drowning his sorrows in drink and men. But his attempts to flee his past comes to a stop as he is forced back into the struggle between man and machine. Featuring some pretty wild world building and narrative techniques, this book will definitely confuse you, but it is worth the experience.

The Paradox Hotel by Rob Hart

January Cole works security at the Paradox Hotel, last stop for tourists heading for the timeport, which allows them to travel to and witness any moment in time. But years of proximity to the timeport has left its damage on January, making her unstuck in time, letting her relive memories of her dead lover even as her sanity slips away bit by bit. As she starts witnessing proof of a horrible crime in the hotel that no one else can see, January must race against her own mind, a killer, and time itself to solve it before it's too late.

A Fractured Infinity by Nathan Tavares

Hayes Figueiredo is a struggling film-maker who wants to finish his documentary, whose life gets turned upside down when handsome physicist Yusuf Hassan enters his life, claiming an alternate version of him is a great inventor who’s sent a mysterious device to their universe. As Hayes gets drawn deeper into the conspiracy - and his feelings for Yusuf intensify - he has to decide just how far he’s prepared to go to win the life and the love he wants. Featuring a very gay and very morally dubious lead, this is a creative and strange read.

Bridge by Lauren Beukes

When she was little, Bridge and her mother Jo used to play a game - one where they traveled to other worlds, inhabiting the bodies of their other selves. Now Jo is dead, and as Bridge is cleaning out her apartment she finds a strange device: a dreamworm, the very thing that supposedly makes inter-dimensional travel possible. Suddenly faced with the possibility that multiverse travel is real, Bridge is struck by a different question: could her mother still be alive? Scifi spiced with a healthy dose of body horror and some absolutely wild twists, Bridge also features a bisexual lead (however this is a blink and you’ll miss it moment) and a nonbinary co-narrator.

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet (Wayfarers series) by Becky Chambers

Rosemary Harper just got a job on the motley crew of the Wayfarer, a spaceship that works with tunneling new wormholes through space. With a past she wants to leave behind, Rosemary is happy to travel the far reaches of the universe with the chaotic crew, but when they land the job of a life time, things suddenly get a lot more dangerous. A bit of a tumblr classic in its day, this is a cozy space opera with an episodic feel and vividly realized characters and cultures. While pretty light on romance and focusing found family, there is a main f/f relationship.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon

Life on the lower decks of the generation ship HSS Matilda is hard for Aster, an outcast even among outcasts, trying to survive in a system not dissimilar to the old antebellum South. The ship's leaders have imposed harsh restrictions on their darker skinned people, using them as an oppressed work force as they travel toward their supposed Promised Land. But as Aster finds a link between the death of the ship's sovereign and the suicide of her own mother, she realizes there may be a way off the ship.

Ninefox Gambit (The Machineries of Empire trilogy) by Yoon Ha Lee*

Military space opera where belief and culture shape the laws of reality, causing all kinds of atrocities as empires do everything in their power to force as many people as possible to conform to their way of life to strengthen their technology and weapons. It’s also very queer, with gay, lesbian and trans major characters, albeit little to no romance.

The Left Hand of Darkness (Hainish Cycle) by Ursula K. Le Guin

1969 classic. Genly Ai is an emissary sent to the planet of Winter, meant to help facilitate Winter's inclusion in a growing intergalactic civilization. But he's unprepared for Winter's citizens, who spend much of their time genderless or switching between genders, making for a culture wildly different from that Genly is used to.

Too Like the Lightning (Terra Ignota series) by Ada Palmer*

Centuries in the future, humanity has deliberatly engineered society to be as utopian as possible, politically, socially, sexually, religiously. Written in an enlightenment style and featuring questions of human nature and whether it’s possible to change it, and what price we’re prepared to pay for peace, this book is simultaneously very heavy and very funny, and written in a very unique style. While still human, the society presented often feels starkly alien.

The Stars Are Legion by Kameron Hurley

This book fucked me up when I read it. It’s weird, it’s gross, there’s So Much Viscera, there are literally no men, it has living spaceships and biotech but in the most horrific way imaginable. Had I to categorize it I would call it grimdark military sf. It’s an experience but not necessarily a pleasant one.

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling*

Possibly one of the most unsettling books I’ve ever read, and definitely the most claustrophobic. Gyre, a caver on an alien planet, ventures into the dark and dangerous underground, guided only by a woman who has no compunctions on using and manipulating Gyre as she sees fit to obtain her secretive goals down in the caves.

Escaping Exodus (Escaping Exodus series) by Nicky Drayden

While my feelings on Escaping Exodus were mixed, it cannot be denied that the dynamic between the two leads and the way they go from childhood best friends to enemies on different sides of a class and power struggle is very delicious. It also features some really cool worldbuilding of living, alien generation spaceships and the human culture that has developed inside them.

The Doors of Eden by Adrian Tchaikovsky*

The Doors of Eden is something of an experiment in speculative biology, featuring versions of Earth in which various different species were the one to rise to sentience, from dinosaurs to neanderthals. Now, something is threatening the existence of all timelines, dragging multiple different people and species into the struggle, among those a pair of cryptid hunting girlfriends and a transgender scientist.

Ascension by Jacqueline Koyanagi

Ascension follows Alana Quick, an expert Sky Surgeon who stows away on a spaceship in hopes of landing herself a job. But the ship and its crew are in deeper waters than she expected, facing threats emerging from a whole other universe, all of them searching for the same person: Alana’s spiritually enlightened sister. Undeniably a bit of an odd read, Ascension is also very creative and features polyamorous lesbian relationship.

Contagion (Contagion duology) by Erin Bowman*

Young adult. After receiving an SOS, a small crew is sent on a standard search-and-rescue mission. But what they find are not survivors awaiting help, but an abandoned site, full of dead bodies and crawling with something... monstrous. No romance, but features one sapphic co-lead and one who can easily be read as demisexual (however this doesn't show up until book two, which has more romance).

A Memory Called Empire (Texicalaan duology) by Arkady Martine

Mahit Dzmare is an ambassador sent to the center of the multi-system Teixcalaanli Empire, where she discovers that her predecessor has died. Trying to protect her home, an independent mining station, from being taken over by the empire, Mahit struggles to find out the truth of her predecessor's death while carrying the voice of his ghost in her head, guiding her as best he can. Light on the romance but does feature a sapphic relationship.

The Outside (The Outside trilogy) by Ada Hoffman*

AKA the book the put me in an existenial crisis. Souls are real, and they are used to feed AI gods in this lovecraftian inspired scifi where reality is warped and artifical gods stand against real, unfathomable ones. Autistic scientist Yasira is accused of heresy and, to save her eternal soul, is recruited by post-human cybernetic ‘angels’ to help hunt down her own former mentor, who is threatening to tear reality itself apart. Sapphic main character.

Dawn (Xenogenesis trilogy) by Octavia E. Butler*

After a devestating war leaves humanity on the brink of extinction, survivor Lilith finds herself waking up naked and alone in a strange room. She’s been rescued by the Oankali, who have arrived just in time to save the human race. But there’s a price to survival, and it might be humanity itself. Absolutely fucked up I love it I once had to drop the book mid read to stare at the ceiling and exclaim in horror at what was going on. Queer in the sense that the Oankali doesn't follow human ideas of gender and relationships, which is mirrored in their romantic relationships with humans. It is, however, pretty dark, with examinations of agency and consent, so enter with caution.

Remnant by Kate Genet

One day, Cass wakes up and finds everyone else is gone. Not dead, just gone, leaving her in a world which nature starts taking back with a dangerous, unnatural speed. But as she tries to survive this new normal, Cass realizes she may not be alone after all - but who else is out there, and are they a threat?

The Scorpion Rules (Prisoners of Peace duology) by Erin Bow*

Young Adult. Featuring a dystopian future in which an AI forcibly keeps world peace by holding the children of world leaders hostage. If anyone attempts to start a war, their child will be executed. Greta is one of these children, kept in a school with others like her. But things start to change one day when a new, less obedient hostage arrives. A unique, slowburn take on the YA dystopian craze, also featuring a bisexual love triangle.

Iron Widow (Iron Widow series) by Xiran Jay Zhao

Young adult. Zetian is a citizen of Huaxia, where mecha aliens are constantly trying to breach the Great Wall. To keep them at bay, couples of men and women pilot so called Chrysalises, giant transforming robots. But the pilots are not equal - the women almost always die, sucked dry by their co-pilots. When Zetian sets herself up to become a concubine-pilot, she does so with the plan to assassinate the male pilot who caused her sister's death. Features a polyamorous main relationship.

Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool:

Survival Instincts by May Dawney

Lynn Tanner has been surviving the post-apocalypse alone with only her dog for a long time, trusting no one. But when she's forced to travel the dangerous remains of New York City alongside another woman, her priorities are challenged. Is staying alone really the best way to stay alive?

These Burning Stars by Bethany Jacobs

When con-artist Jun Ironway gets her hands on possible proof of the powerful Nightfoot family, controllers of interplanetary travel, committing genocide, she has in her hands a chance of taking them and their monopoly down. But the family and their allies won't go down easily, and sends two brutal clerics to stop her.

Everfair by Nisi Shawl

A neo-victorian alternate history, in which a part of Congo was kept safe from colonisation, becoming Everfair, a safe haven for both the people of Congo and former slaves returning from America. Here they must struggle to keep this home safe for them all.

#nella talks books #the light brigade #a psalm for the wild built #meet me in another life #the archive undying #the paradox hotel #fracture infinity #bridge #the long way to a small angry planet #an unkindness of ghosts #ninefox gambit #the left hand of darkness #terra ignota #the stars are legion #the luminous dead #escaping exodus #the doors of eden #the outside #xenogenesis #remnant #the scorpion rules #iron widow #survival instincts #these burning stars #everfair

[morallyinept]

Close Encounters Of The Grocery Kind - A Dieter Bravo One Shot 👽

Written for the @dieterbravobrainrotclub May Drabble Challenge. Featuring the line "Do you believe in aliens?" 👽

Summary: You meet an eccentric man whilst late night grocery shopping.

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x GN!Reader (No name or physical description of reader. It’s you, bub.)

Word Count: 1k

Scoville Smut Rating: None, it's fluff. You're safe.

Check out my Scoville Smut Ratings here.

Warnings/Triggers: Eating cereal without milk, does that count as a trigger? 😋

NSFW. MINORS DNI! OVER 18’s ONLY. YOU ARE SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU READ.☝🏻Don’t come at me; you’ve been plenty warned.

I write for me, and I share with you. If this story isn't to your taste, that's fine. Just slip quietly out the back door. No need to make a fuss. It's just a work of fiction.

Author’s Note: Hope you enjoy this zany lil' meet cute! 👽

MAIN MASTERLIST | DIETER BRAVO MASTERLIST

Enjoy! 🖤

In the fluorescent-lit aisles of the grocery store, Dieter shuffles worn and tired along, in what can only be described as, his most comfortable attire - a stretched t-shirt and a pair of patterned pyjama pants hanging low and loose, finished with a green untied robe and crocs.

He intends for this grocery run to be a quick late-night snack grab, something to satisfy the munchies from smoking blunts in the pool all day, but as he scans the shelves, his eyes land on a display of space-themed cereals.

He reaches for a box labelled Star Bitz, containing frosted star shapes. Opening the box and plastic liner, he reaches in and takes a handful, crunching them around his teeth and groans uncouthly in delight at the sugar rush.

It elicits a curious look from you further down the aisle, mid-shop and looking just as dishevelled, having gotten off a long shift.

The man greets you with a mischievous grin, sizing you up with his sleepy eyes.

"Uh, hi," Dieter manages, straightening up a little. “Don’t worry, I’m going to pay.”

“I’m not worried,” you assure.

“You want some?” He offers out the box to you, smirking. You reach in when he shakes the box and tempts you further.

"Do you believe in aliens?" Dieter asks, licking round his teeth.

“I’m sorry?” You remark, trying to process the unexpected question.

He points a ringed index finger at your chest. “Your shirt.”

You look down at the tee with a cartoon alien faded across it and arch an eyebrow, your gaze flickering between the man’s pyjama pants and the box of cereal he so casually munches in his hand.

"Well, I've never met one personally,” you say.

Dieter chuckles. "There’s a conspiracy about lizard people secretly running the government.”

“It’s not a conspiracy. They’re all reptiles.” You confirm.

He snorts in appreciation, large hands rummaging in the box and tossing more frosty stars in his mouth.

"So, do you always go grocery shopping in your pyjamas?" You query, a twinkle in your eyes.

Despite his unkempt appearance, there’s something rather appealing about him. A scruffy, tired attractiveness around tan skin, pink puffy eyes and wild, greying curls.

Dieter grins, feeling a flush rise to his cheeks. "Only when I'm in dire need of snacks and comfort."

You simply nod and glance back at the shelves with your arm looped through your basket.

“You don’t know who I am, do you?” He questions as he watches your nonchalance whilst you inspect ingredient labels.

“Should I?”

“No. I'm nobody really.”

You watch as he lingers behind you as you move up the aisle.

“Escaped mental patient?” You query with a smirk.

He shakes his head. “I’m straight edge. Promise.”

You pick up milk and some other essentials, and Dieter audibly tuts when you chuck a few instant meals for one in the basket.

“What?” You ask with mirth.

“Watch your sodium intake.”

“I think I’ll fare much better than the amount of sugar in that box…” you nod to the cereal he’s still eating.

Chuckling, he continues to talk to you, following you down the aisles until your basket is full and you both head towards the checkout.

"Hey, um, do you maybe wanna grab a bite to eat?" He blurts out, his heart pounding in his chest.

You smile as he dumps his open box of cereal on the conveyor belt behind your shopping.

"I'd love to. But only if you promise to wear your pyjamas." You say, eyeing his comfy attire.

Dieter grins, feeling a surge of excitement. "How about now?”

“Sure.” You smile.

He pays for the cereal, leaving the cashier eyeing him with a flicker of recognition, when he puts his finger to his lips and snickers, following you out the automatic doors.

Once at your car, you watch as Dieter sits on the bonnet and taps for you to join him. He takes the milk out of your grocery bag, unscrews it and pours some over the cereal.

You laugh when he simply pulls a spoon out from one of his gown pockets.

“You always carry that around with you?”

“Never know when you might need one.” He shrugs.

“You’re very odd.” You smile as you dip into the cereal box.

“I’ve been called worse.” Dieter remarks. He looks up at the dark sky and sighs.

The cool night air wraps around you both, carrying the faint scent of gasoline and asphalt.

"So, space," you say, your eyes scanning the star-studded sky above. "What's your take on it?"

Dieter leans back against the car, gazing up at the vast expanse of darkness dotted with pinpricks of light.

"It's... mind-blowing, you know? The sheer size of it all. It hurts my head to think about it.” He pauses and frowns. “You ever wish you could be insignificant?"

“I already am.” You smile, handing him the cereal.

He scoffs looking at you, a gold hoop in his ear glimmers, catching the light from a car pulling into the parking lot.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks softly.

You baulk. “You want to kiss me? I don’t even know your name or where you’re from…”

“Dieter. Sherman Oaks. So, can I kiss you now?” He says, scratching under his chin. A patchy beard and moustache lines his jaw and upper lip, and you’re drawn to it, wondering if it’ll feel soft or scratchy.

“Well, odd Dieter from Sherman Oaks, you can kiss me. On one condition.”

“Always a catch…”

You plonk the box of cereal on the ground, shuffling closer as he sits up.

“You’ll like this catch.”

“Will I?” He smirks as you lean in, grabbing the lapels of his soft corduroy gown. He smells faintly herbal and minty.

“You promise that once you kiss me, you won’t stop.”

Dieter bites his lip, his eyes dropping to yours and then back up to your eyes again.

“I promise.” He confirms, smiling, as your lips brush together, both moaning into each other’s mouths.

Thank you so much for reading & I really hope you enjoyed this lil' Dieter drabble. If you did, please consider re-blogging so others can enjoy it too. Thank you! 🖤

MAIN MASTERLIST | DIETER BRAVO MASTERLIST

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #dieter bravo #dieter bravo x reader #pedro pascal characters #dieter bravo x gn!reader #dieter bravo fluff #dieter bravo the bubble #jett's writing

[riaarivic]

HIS - KNJ x F!reader: 1 Into you

💗Pairings idol!NamjoonxReader

💗 Genres idol!AU, Smut, Angst, Romance, Enemies to lovers

💗 Rating 18+ minors DNI

💗 Summary  Four years have passed since the last time you saw Kim Namjoon. But now he was right in front of you, with the same stupid warm smile that made your good judgment (and underwear) disappear without a trace. You haven't seen him for four years. But now here you were working for BTS again. Having to see his insufferably attractive face every day of your life again.

But there's something Namjoon doesn't know. The little girl with almond eyes and dimples in her smile clinging to his ex-girlfriend's hip, not only looked too much like him. But she was… His.

💗  Warnings for the series: Unplanned pregnancy (I KNOW BUT HEAR ME OUT) Unprotected sex, foul language, angst, miscommunications, pinning, SO MUCH PINNING, Hurt/comfort. Will update as the series progress. 💗  Warnings for the chapter: reader has very conflictive emotions about the news of her pregnancy at the begining. This chapter will have some back and forth time skips

💗 A/N: ⚠️ dialogue in BOLD is intended to be in English if not, they are speaking in Korean. ⚠️

Love, Ria

💗 Chapter wordcount 3,4k

💗 Series Index 1 2

His 01: Into you

"And baby even on our worst nights. I'm into you" Into you - Paramore.

💗💗💗MARCH 2021💗💗💗

You have to admit, you've been glued to your computer screen for a solid twenty minutes, utterly motionless.

Hyung-Joon, once your boss and now your business partner, just forwarded an email confirming your company's involvement in BTS's upcoming Permission to Dance on Stage tour. The whole team was buzzing with excitement about the colossal job ahead.

It would be the biggest job in your company.

It really was the opportunity of a lifetime, the pay was enough to take Hana on a Disney cruise vacation.

For a whole year.

Three years in a row.

Heck, you could buy the damn boat.

That's how good it would be.

You should be basking in the joy of this achievement.

Yet, the smallest detail casts a shadow over the happiness—precisely, the leader of the band. The young, talented, millionaire, successful, infuriating asshole Kim Namjoon is your daughter's father.

For the tiniest detail, it must be emphasized that he had no intention of being a part of her life.

Fuck him.

He couldn't even summon the decency to meet your gaze when he sent his mother and manager to deliver an envelope full of money, effectively kicking you and your daughter out of Korea.

The memory of it turned your stomach.

💗💗💗JANUARY 2017💗💗💗

An alien.

That's how all the people saw you when you entered Big Hit as if you came from another planet entirely. An alien who spoke their language perfectly, who had not come as part of a tourist excursion, but to work.

They all regarded you as if you had a second head protruding from your back. The security, while registering your information for your access card; the staff, makeup artists, hair stylists—all whispered things as you walked by.

What the hell were you getting yourself into?

The chance of a lifetime, you reminded yourself. The pay might not be extravagant, but the perks of being part of a K-pop group's staff more than compensated for it.

You were going to travel all over the world, meet new people, eat delicious things and most of all… be as far away geographically as possible from where you came from.

This is the opportunity of a lifetime

After navigating several security checkpoints and maneuvering through what felt like a maze of boxes filled with the group's merchandise, materials, and clothing, you reached the office where they awaited you.

The global press department.

Though the term "department" sounded too grand for the small space—more like a converted broom closet with your boss's desk and yours side by side.

"Oh! Miss… um," you smiled as you saw him struggling with the pronunciation of your full name.

"Call me y/n. You must be Manager Hyung-Joon," the man let out a sigh of relief. Despite his imposing stature, dominating the tiny office, a friendly smile adorned his face.

"Miss y/n, you're just in time. They are about to finish a rehearsal, and we are going to start the first practice interviews for the US tour. Did you bring everything you need?" You nodded, and he motioned for you to follow him.

Probably, nothing you had read about this group could prepare you for what lay ahead. As Manager Hyung-Joon swung open the door, the first thing that struck you was the noise.

That room was pure Chaos.

What you'd expect if you left seven practically teenage men to their own devices. They chatted and laughed, appearing at first glance like a bunch of ordinary kids.

Not like the young men who would become the biggest musical act in history.

"Bangtan, can you please be quiet?" the manager shouted, capturing everyone's attention. "This is y/n; she will be your translator from now on." All seven pairs of eyes turned to you simultaneously, and once again, there it was.

That look that made you feel utterly out of place.

According to what you'd been told, it wasn't common for the company to hire young, let alone single, women to work with BTS. Yet, you excelled at your job, armed with a glowing recommendation letter from one of your college professors.

Fast and precise with translations, you also brought experience as a journalist before accepting this position.

And that you accepted the joke of a salary they offered.

The company deemed you useful enough to overlook the fact that you would be the only woman among these men most of the time.

But your integration into the staff didn't happen before their main manager warned them that any attempt at inappropriate behavior towards you would result in drastic consequences.

Not to mention the uncomfortably awkward conversation you had in the president's office, where terms like contraceptives, confidentiality agreements, and the ominous "If you have any kind of relationship with one of the members, we will sue you for everything you have" echoed.

Though you were sure the suitcase you brought to Korea wouldn't be much help to a music company at the time.

The message was clear:

Mess with one of them.

You're out.

It's not like you were interested in a workplace romance; true, they were all attractive, but you needed this job more than anything else in the world.

At that time, Bangtan was gearing up for their promotions in the United States, and they required someone to assist them in English communication.

So they wouldn't be overly dependent on him.

"Do you even speak Korean?" that was the very first words he spoke to you. He wore an expression somewhere between puzzled and annoyed for a moment before turning to speak to Hyung-Joon as if you weren't there. "Are you sure she's not a stalker?"

"I'm a communications major from Busan National University. I also speak Japanese, French, Spanish, and Portuguese. But my first language is English. I suppose that answers your question," you retorted, meeting his gaze challengingly, and he rolled his eyes as if your response bored him.

At the far end of the room, you heard an amused snort; you recognized him from the dossier—his name was Suga.

"Did that lady just shut up Namjoon-hyung?" the youngest among them stared at you as if you were a unicorn, a mythical creature, the weirdest thing he has ever seen, and the older one nudged him to stop staring.

"Nice to meet you all; my name is y/n. I will be your translator, and I hope you can take care of me." You bowed, and when you straightened, you smiled at everyone. He kept his stare locked at you, irritated and unimpressed by your initial response.

That was the beginning of it all.

💗💗💗DECEMBER 2018💗💗💗

Fool.

A complete fool is how you felt, your heart pounding in your chest as you found yourself on your bathroom floor holding a positive pregnancy test. Four years ago, your heart held a different kind of weight, the weight of a secret growing within you.

Two weeks after he had returned to Seoul.

Exactly two weeks after you had told him to get the fuck out of your life.

No. That's not true.

You know better now. He was already gone before you found the strength to let him go. You just hadn't realized it.

So, here you were sitting on your bathroom floor. The weight of your shared history hanging heavily between you. Looking at the abstract pattern on the tiles feeling like a complete idiot.

Feeling guilty for a child who will grow up without a father.

Because...

You thought you were strong enough to handle it. You believed you could navigate motherhood alone, but...

Should you tell him?

Would it be too selfish to unveil this reality now?

How could you shatter his world, now that his career soared to unprecedented heights?

And the company…

You knew The company would go to great lengths to erase you and this secret from existence if necessary..

Kim Namjoon the leader of BTS.

Korea's pride.

Fathering an unplanned child out of wedlock with a foreigner?

It could dismantle everything he had worked for.

And his group. It will destroy them and he will never forgive you for it.

Besides, did you even have the right to reenter his life?

After what you have said to him? After the wounds you carved upon each other?

You wanted to cry, but the tears remained trapped within your eyes.

Kim Namjoon, the man known as RM, the leader of BTS, was your adversary, your lover, the man who once held your heart, and the one who shattered it into irreparable pieces—

All within a year.

💗💗💗NOVEMBER 2019💗💗💗

This is a terrible idea

It took you too long to work up the courage to tell him that you had had a daughter. But you couldn't tell him by phone call or mail.

You mustered all the courage you had and took a plane from Los Angeles to Korea. You definitely did not imagine how extremely difficult 16 hours on a flight with a one year old baby would be.

You had to bribe Jungkook with buying him 10 cartons of banana milk to get his new number.

Calling him was much harder.

"Hello?" His voice, after a year, stirred emotions you believed buried deep within.

You had no idea what to say.

Hi Namjoon, remember me? I'm y/n, your ex-girlfriend, ex-enemy, ex-translator? Oh, by the way, we have a daughter. I'm in Korea. Sorry for not telling you earlier; I panicked, thinking the company might erase us if they found out. Congratulations on the new album.

Definitely not that.

"Hey, Joonie," you blurted, and somehow felt like worse alternative, "I'm in Korea, and I'd like to talk…"

"Yes," he interrupted, his voice as desperate as yours, "I'm sending a driver for you. Where are you staying?"

Two hours later, a black company van awaited you in front of your hotel. It transported you to a far more luxurious apartment complex than their previous dormitory.

They are doing so well.

That made you proud, they deserved every drop of success they had.

But he wasn't in the apartment.

Waiting for you in the living room was a face you'd only seen once—Namjoon's mother, Mrs. Kim Seolmi. Accompanied by bodyguards and a staff member, her gaze held the same mix of disappointment and anger as the first meeting. Her eyes shifted sourly when they landed on Hana, in your arms.

Hana was the vivid image of her father, every feature, dimples, almond eyes, pouty lips, and even her expressions. Seeing Namjoon in her.

It took Mrs. Kim mere seconds to deduce the baby in your arms was her granddaughter.

"He doesn't want to see you, neither you nor the bastard child you're carrying. Did you think you could pass off just anyone's daughter as my son's?" She pulled an envelope from her bag. You knew it contained money. "Take it and leave. A gold-digger like you, using men for money. How disgusting."

"Madam, I don't need your money. If Namjoon doesn't want to see me, he should tell me himself." You clutched your crying daughter, scared by the woman's shouts.

From a corridor emerged Sejin, BangTan's main manager. He always knew everything about them. And his presence here meant The company was already aware that Namjoon had a daughter.

Shit.

"I'm sorry, Miss y/n, but it's true. He asked us to give this to you," Sejin handed you a sealed letter with your name on it, "and this you must sign. It's the only way to prevent the company from taking legal action against you for involving yourself with a member."

"Ha! As if the half-breed was really my Namjoon's daughter."

Oh you were going to kill that woman.

Before you could unleash your thoughts, Sejin spoke again. "y/n, you know what it means to be in a relationship with an idol, let alone having a daughter out of wedlock. This could destroy him and Bangtan. I'm sure you don't want that." His voice carried pity.

"You don't want to go trough this, and we know you don't want to put your daughter through it." He took a breath and sat in front of you. "The company is willing to compensate you for your silence. It's your only option—"

"I don't want your fucking money, Sejin"

"Miss, if you go against the company, we'll have to fight in court, and you could lose custody of your daughter. I'm sorry, but it's true. He didn't want to come when he found out you were coming with your child."

He didn't want to come

When he found out

That you were coming with a child.

Your child.

That phrase echoed in your mind for years. You could still close your eyes and see Sejin's pitiful face—the same one he wore when informing an employee they could no longer work for them.

Because they spoke a second too long with one of them.

Because they smiled at them a little too much.

Because feelings started to emerge.

All were fired and forced to sign mountains of legal documents preventing them from ever speaking about what transpired.

Some were even offered positions at other agencies.

"You're fortunate Bang PDnim decided to compensate you. But it's your decision," he concluded.

Three hours later, you were repacking to return to Los Angeles, vowing never to set foot in Seoul again.

This should never have happened.

As you wiped away tears, your phone buzzed with several notifications.

Message from unknown number: Doll, it's Yoongi. Jungkook told me you were here and you were staying at a hotel in Myeongdon. Message from unknown number: I'm coming to see you.

Message from Cookie 🍪: Y/n Noona, Yoongi Hyung asked me to give him your number. Thanks for the banana milk, you should stop by the dorm and let's drink soju like old times!!!!

Message from NJ: I am so sorry. I hope you can understand.

The last message made you want to throw up.

The phone started vibrating with an incoming call…..

💗💗💗MARCH 2021💗💗💗

"Are you sure you're okay with this?"

Hyun-Joon regarded you with the same concerned eyes he had five years ago when you first met. He had transitioned from being your boss to your business partner and, eventually, one of your dearest friends. A few months after your departure from Korea, he called to share the news of starting their own management agency with a friend.

The startup funds came from the envelope Sejin handed you as compensation for never disclosing the identity of your daughter's father.

At least something good came from shattering your heart into a thousand pieces.

Today, you were the CEO of a flourishing company offering diverse services to music companies in Korea—translators, managers, staff, security; you had it all, and your agency ranked as the best in the market.

It was only a matter of time before you appeared on HYBE's radar.

It was only a matter of time before you found yourself back in the same room as him.

"Of course, this is the best contract the agency has had since we started. We are professionals, and your CEO is no exception," you reassured yourself more than Hyun-Joon.

He scrutinized you, trying to believe your conviction. "Well, let's get ready; they are about to come in."

The sight before you differed vastly from the first time you saw them in the modest conference room at what was then Big Hit. Through the glass door leading to your meeting room, the bodyguards entered first, followed by the new individual managers.

You knew much had changed since your last encounter. Initially, it was just you and a handful of staff members.

Now, it felt as if the President of the United States or Beyoncé were about to make an entrance.

Scratch that, the president's secret service probably had fewer people.

The room was nearly full, yet they hadn't arrived.

Jungkook walked in first. The last time you saw him, he still wore his school uniform. Now, he appeared as if he had stepped out of a novel, exuding a bad-boy aura with tattoos and all-black attire.

Behind him, Taehyung, the shy boy with the innocent smile, wore a designer suit, exuding timeless elegance like the protagonist of an old Hollywood film. You couldn't help but smile at the sight of him.

Jimin seemed unchanged yet transformed simultaneously—beautiful, elegant, with a hint of mischief in his eyes. When he saw you, he smiled discreetly, as if holding back many unspoken words.

Following him, J-Hope entered. His off-stage personality always intimidated you, yet he remained the kindest and most focused among them. That hadn't changed.

Yoongi walked in behind him, smiling genuinely upon seeing you. Among all of them, he was the only one you still maintained contact with. Nonetheless, seeing him in person brought a sense of relief.

Jin came in almost last, and you couldn't help but be amused. Despite not having seen him in person for four years, he hadn't aged a day. Serene as ever, he entered with a respectful bow.

A chill ran down your spine.

They entered in the official order.

From youngest to oldest.

And last.

Him.

Kim Namjoon, always entering last, responsible for introducing them all. Front and center, as always. His now-blond hair caught your attention first. Even beneath his clothes, you could see that he had grown. His arms filled his shirt just like his chest and legs.

Your mind instinctively wandered into territory you almost slapped yourself for entertaining.

You looked up, and he was looking at you. Whether he was surprised or not, his face revealed nothing. With almost a decade in the business, Kim Namjoon knew how to conceal his emotions.

Assuming he had any.

He obviously doesn't care to see you. And who were you to him?—just some woman he was fucking four years ago.

Just

The mother of his daughter.

Your ears buzzed, and you were so deeply lost in your thoughts that you didn't notice when he began talking.

"...it's a pleasure for us to work again with you and your agency," that damn voice, it could still stir emotions in you. "Miss Y/LN, it's also nice to see you again."

Oh, is he going to call you by your last name?

"It's Lee now," your voice sounded cooler than you thought it would, perfect.

"Congratulations, in that case," he stiffened his jaw, and you smiled at him. Simultaneously, several people in the room tensed up.

Ah yes, that was another detail Kim Namjoon obviously didn't know about you.

Eric Lee was your other business partner and your best friend. You had married three years ago so that he could obtain a visa and stay in the US with you.

Eric gave his last name to Hana and had practically raised her with you.

And also.

Eric was completely, totally, and utterly gay.

Your marriage was only on paper.

But that was a detail you weren't going to explain to Kim Namjoon.

By the way… where the hell was he?

Namjoon cleared his throat, snapping you out of your thoughts. "In that case, I think we can start—"

"Mommy!" a little voice interrupted, entering the room. With so many people there, you could only see the top of her dark brown hair. "Uncle said to play hide and seek; can I hide with you?"

Almond eyes.

Dimples in the smile.

The same pouty lips.

Kim Namjoon who was almost 10 years in the industry and knew perfectly well how to hide his emotions, but he looked at the little girl in front of him as if he had just seen an alien.

His face showed a thousand questions.

How old was that little girl?

Why did she have the same eyes as him?

Why had she called you mom?

Did you have a daughter?

The whole room tensed up.

Oh shit, I knew this was a bad idea.

But things happened so fast.

For the first time in her life, Kim Namjoon looked at his daughter's face.

And you were looking at the consecuence of what once was a stolen kiss behind a closed door.

And then evolved to so much more.

A snarky remark.

An irritated snort after others spoke.

A heated argument in a press room.

A few stolen kisses behind the staff room door.

A night in a hotel room.

And despite your reluctance to admit it,

Despite everything.

You would always be

His.

💗💗💗💗💗💗

I KNOOOOOWWWW! Another fic and I haven't finished translating/editing/rewriting/posting Hate!. But Yes, I had to, I had a writers block and decided to pull this one out of the vault of prompts.

Pregnancy troupe? while I'm writing a dark mafia romance? I KNOW But hear me out with this one, it is A RIDE.

I REALLY wanted to write a short agnsty BUT filled with heart clenching romance and.. other things clenching smuttines.

Yes, I'll continue updating Hate! but i would love you a bit if you give this baby a chance... literal baby. AND KIM NAMJOON AS A GIRL DAD!!?? IM NOT GOING TO DEPRIVE MYSELF OF THAT

Ps. If you want to be on the tag list drop a comment below!! 👩🏼‍💻✨

As always love you guys,

Ria 💗

#bts fanfic #bts smut #bts suga #bts #bts imagines #bts au #bts rm #bts romance #bts idol #namjoon #run bts #bts fic #bts scenarios

[respondedinkind]

@resignedworkaholics asked: Nodding his way through security in the early hours of Christmas morning was not unusual. What was unusual was how Q bypassed his department and immediately headed down to the quarters of their guest. Pulling a wrapped present and a tub containing a few seasonal treats out as he pushed open the door after a knock and confirmation he could enter. "Good morning." He offered a smile and set the items down on the small table then pointed at them, then to the alien. "For you."

Ka'anh is not lying in his bed anymore when the other enters his assigned temporary home - he's been getting up and walking a few steps since yesterday morning, and by now he prefers to be up and about instead of lying or sitting down for the whole of the day.

That's why he's in the middle of the room when Q arrives; It looks like as if Ka'anh has been pacing back and forth, the radio not playing classical music anymore but rather something else, including people talking about things he cannot understand - but he's been listening regardless, trying to figure out the language and teach himself how to learn it, for the sake of easier communication.

And no, he still hasn't told the other one his name.

That's precisely why it surprises him so much when the man seems to carry something, then places it down onto the small table, followed by a point of his finger that indicates that, whatever it is, is meant for Ka'anh. A set of blue eyes narrows briefly, accompanied by black brows knitting, before Ka'anh turns, then makes his way over to the table and the assortiment of things waiting there. He stops in front of it, taking in the sight of the tub, then the wrapped... box?... before he lifts his gaze, allowing it to rest on the unknown one with an obvious question lingering inside his irises, basically screaming at Q with how intense that gaze is.

Why... did the other bring him this? And - what is it?

#resignedworkaholics #Verse -> MCU #(uwu thank youuu hehehe also Ka'anh is like 'ok what is this' LOL)

[evilwickedme]

Hi there I would like to say I’m interested in the deadpool homophobia rant

hi there! many thanks to you

so the "deadpool homophobia rant" is... a little complicated. I'll try to keep it short because God knows I talk about Wade too much as it is on this hellsite. the point, before we go into literally any detail, is that the writing surrounding deadpool's sexuality is deeply problematic, both in its representation and its consequences in-narrative to him as a person, but I'll try to just focus on the facts.

we all know that deadpool is omni/pan, right? wrong. well, not wrong. just not... quite as solidly canon as we'd like. this is the only reference the actual word gets in canon:

this is from the posehn & duggan 2012 run (my beloved), although don't ask me to hunt down the specific issue, please, that sounds like a nightmare. suffice it to say that it's from the letter section at the end of one of the issues and that it's the only time I can find the actual word referenced anywhere with regards to our boy. you may remember that it was confirmed at some point - yeah, in a since deleted tweet. despite being attracted to anything from aliens to death herself, wade is not allowed to go past plausible deniability when it comes to heterosexuality.

that doesn't mean that wade doesn't express attraction to men, because he does, and often.

(from deadpool team up #887)

(from an early issue of spider-man/deadpool. 2, I think. maybe 3)

(from the daniel way 2008 run, again, don't make me dig up an issue please, but it's the one where he teams up with spider-man to defeat hit-monkey)

(there's also a few panels floating around online where he expresses attraction to cable but I don't have those saved on my laptop. I remember seeing one where wade fantasizes about rubbing sun screen on cable's back? but again, do not have those saved.)

anyway, the point is, wade absolutely gets to express attraction to men, and constantly. but only at his own expense. only when the joke will land. only when he gets to immediately say "no homo". only because he's already quirky and weird and insane, so of course he's also attracted to men, he's not all there, after all.

I'll try not to let this cross over to a connected but wholly separate rant about the ableism in his writing, but it's all connected, at the end of the day.

and it would be one thing if deadpool wasn't a relationship guy. but, although he's absolutely terrible at it, deadpool makes stab after stab at monogamy - always with women. he's a sleezeball, really. constantly asking women out, super and non-super, whether they're in any way interested or not. posehn & duggan pull back from this a little, and instead have him get married to shiklah, in a special issue dedicated to "every time deadpool has gotten married" (or at least thought he did). they got a bunch of previous deadpool writers and artists to contribue to the issue. somehow every single marriage was to a woman, even if she was literally an alien. bc deadpool's attraction to a woman is a tragedy, but at least it's a story; wade's attraction to a man is a joke. his one "relationship" with a man is with madcap, who abuses him from inside his head. they call it "falling in love":

(from deadpool annual #1, from uh... 2013? 2014?)

... but madcap's nothing but horrifically abusive towards wade when they're "together" (as in fused together with madcap playing the role of "white box") and the first arc in the 2015 duggan run is madcap deliberately fucking up deadpool's life because he won't take him back. not exactly a positive canon relationship. shiklah treats wade better.

deadpool also likes to dress in a typical feminine or gay coded fashion, and it's constantly questioned or made fun of by the people around him:

(from the deadpool musical issue)

(I actually had to google this one, I don't know where it's from for sure but it's pre-2012 (cause... boxes) and I'm pretty sure it's from cable & deadpool. no idea beyond that what issue or anything)

we see a constant, then, of deadpool expressing attraction to men and his gnc presentation, and yet the narrative never respects him for it. it plays it for laughs, plays the plausible deniability card, and despite wade himself seemingly being comfortable with his sexuality it is never presented as a good thing or even a neutral thing. deadpool's sexuality shines through despite what seems to be the writers actively fighting against it. and it doesn't have to be this way. nobody made them write him as pan in the first place, although, yes, I'd be sad if he wasn't, and more importantly, nobody made anyone write his pansexuality like this. it's in the movies too, to a lesser extent. it's frustrating and exhausting and it's deeply homophobic.

I love wade. he deserves better.

#wade wilson #deadpool #dp #marvel #marvel comics #spiderman #cable #homophobia #homophobic writing #queer #pansexual #ask #anonymous

[holly-fixation]

Three... Guards? Ch. 2

Summary: Tifa finds Cloud at the train station in Sector Seven. It’s the first time she’s seen him in seven years. But he’s not alone. Three silver haired boys protected him. Three silver haired boys that triggered memories of her hometown. Of steel through her chest. Of SOLDIER First Class. Of Him.

The boys refused to leave Cloud's side.

Inspired by this prompt by @im-totally-not-an-alien .  

Please Enjoy!

…

Chapter 2: Cure

The three boys marched like soldiers the entire way to the bar, obviously glaring and staring down any person that even thought about approaching. Tifa saw friends and customers more unsettled by the boys than willing to offer her aid, but for Cloud’s sake, she took the parting of the crowd as a relief to arrive at her bar faster. 

Once they entered Seventh Heaven, all three of the boys pulled stools off of the table closest to the bar. The middle sibling actually grabbed a stack of her folded napkins and laid them out like a pillow. 

“Can you grab the first aid kit from behind the bar?” Tifa attempted to ask politely as she leaned Cloud against the table and removed the incredible weapon attached to his back. “And there are dish towels near the sink. Can you run them under warm water?”

They all nodded, Kadaj rushing around the bar to find the targeted box while Loz and Yazoo swiftly ran to the sink. 

She was surprised but thankful they left Cloud’s side, allowing her to gently lay him on the table and scan for wounds. There were no external injuries, but his dry skin screamed dehydration to her. She wasn't sure if that same cause created his extreme weakness. 

Too many questions flooded her mind. Too many concerns for the singular man in front of her for her mind and thoughts to function completely straight. 

He needed Cure, magic, materia. At least then she might know what doctor he needed. Maybe he just needed water and rest. She hoped it was that simple. She hoped. 

Water may not be enough to rehydrate him either. 

Tifa glanced up at the sound of rapid movement as the boys rushed Cloud's sides. 

Two of them carefully applied a moisturizer to the chaffing skin before placing the wet cloths on his forehead and chest. She didn't even think of the damage water could do to dry skin, or the pain it could cause from seeping into the cracking the surface. They seemed to know exactly what to do. Correction, the long haired one did, silently scolding the larger one for being too rough with a simple glare and the occasional nudge. 

She heard a click as she moved Cloud's hair out of the way before the smallest one returned with the first aid kit. A first aid kit she always kept her strongest healing materia inside, in case of emergencies. 

“Did you guys try any materia?” Tifa needed to confirm before she tried the spells herself. 

“No. We couldn’t find any,” the youngest explained harshly. 

“He’s been in and out of consciousness for the past two hours…” The long haired one explained, his eyes still on his task. “A Cure may allow him to rest…”

Tifa needed no further information and held the orb in her hand, its green glow so bright it nearly blinded the eldest who accidentally looked up. She casted the strongest spell she could, both the ring and the light consuming the room as the magic wove through Cloud’s body. 

His breath finally calmed, and after a few seconds, his eyes opened again. 

All three boys immediately stepped back, but neither one of the childhood friends noticed. 

Tifa was too entranced by the light that returned to his now mako-blue eyes.

His hand landed on her arm softly and he forced himself to sit up. He gave her an embarrassed look, his eyes barely able to remain anywhere near her as he spoke, his mind clearly still fogged but he pushed through it to speak. “Thank you… Tifa…”

A weak smile pulled at her lips, her gaze filled with care as she placed a hand atop his own. She nodded. “Feeling better?”

“A bit… I think I can-”

“Nope,” She cut him off, knowing exactly where he was going and finally gaining his eyes. “You will talk, and you will rest, and you will do nothing more until you're ready.”

“But I-”

“No buts,” Tifa scolded, and the eldest of the silver haired brothers struggled to hide a laugh under his hand. She shot a glare at them, and they all silenced and stood at attention immediately. 

Cloud chuckled softly, her attention returning to him. “You’ve changed a lot in five years…”

Five…?

“Yeah…” She felt the lie leave her mouth before she thought it. “But Cloud, what happened to you?”

He looked away again, his eyes hardening at the ‘memory’. “I was heading back from a mission… And that behemoth took more out of me than I thought… I’m sorry, Tifa…”

“Cloud, why are you sorry?”

He tensed slowly. “...my promise…”

The water tower. “You didn’t break your promise by getting hurt. It’s okay.”

“But I should’ve had enough supplies to get back…”

“Hey. I said no buts. Next time you prepare more. That's all.”

Cloud winced a bit at the scolding before his eyes landed on the three boys. An unreadable expression claimed his gaze. “Thank you for your help…”

They all gave a soft nod. 

“How did you- nh…” The blonde grabbed his head, soft pained groans forcing their way through his body, his exhaustion catching up to him once again. 

The long haired one spoke first as Tifa brought one of the warm towels to his forehead, “You need rest…”

Cloud clearly hated the idea, but he couldn’t ignore the look in Tifa’s eyes. 

“Come on. I’ll take you to my place.” 

He nearly pouted before his breathing started to slow again. 

Something dinged as a mechanical whur suddenly rumbled through the room, only getting louder and louder. Cloud shot to attention and tried to grab the hilt of his blade, but Tifa stopped him, a hand gripping his own to silently tell him it was safe. However, her message did not make it to the three boys who currently crowded around the source of the sound with rusty, worn down pocket knives they absolutely found in the trash. 

As the platform rose along the metal rails, a large man none of the three recognized came with it, along with a blooping pinball machine. 

They nearly jumped him without question, and the only thing that stopped them was Tifa’s yell to wait. They froze but they did not move, their blades barely a centimeter away from his skin.

The large man inhaled sharply before clearing his throat, his hands automatically in the air the moment he saw the boys behind him. Well, one hand, and one gun. “Uh, Tifa?” His burly voice came with utter confusion. “Mind explainin’ what’s goin’ on?”

“Guys, he’s a friend,” She called them off, and they immediately ran and formed a wall around Cloud, still staring daggers and all but hissing as the man slowly turned to face the room. “Sorry for that, Barret.”

“Look, Tifa, I'm pretty big. I'm used to scarin' little kids.”

All of their glares hardened.

“But what’s goin’ on here?”

Tifa sighed before explaining everything she understood: finding Cloud, who Cloud was, healing him, and her plan to take care of him, but she brushed over the topic of the boys other than the fact that they found him. Barret had eyes. Barret hated Shinra. There was absolutely no doubt in her mind that those boys looked familiar to him too. She also didn’t have a clue how to justify that ‘big brother’ statement from the station, so she chose to withhold the comment for now. 

“Cloud’s gonna stay at my place until he heals up,” Tifa finished, gaining a small groan of protest from the blonde in question. “Cloud, you need to rest.”

“I just need to get back in the game…”

“You can barely stay awake.”

“I just need some action. Then I'll be good to go.” He actually managed to steel his voice, almost sounding like his normal self. 

“Don’t hurt yourself,” the smallest of the triplets demanded, and the blonde adult actually glared away, defeated by a small child and relaxing his body. 

Tifa sighed before looking at Barret once more. “Can you do me a solid and watch 'the place' while I get Cloud over to Stargazer Heights?”

He took a glance over at the three kids that were one thousand percent ready to stab him a moment ago, and although they tried to look intimidating, they kind of reminded him of angry kittens, tiny and afraid. Despite who they looked like. “’Course, Tifa. Not a problem at all.” It was still midday. He had plenty of time before he needed to pick up his daughter from school, and he figured the other members of the crew below would be grateful to not be stabbed the moment they came up to use the bathroom, or came up to get a drink of water like he did.

“Thank you.” After giving a soft nod and a small smile, Tifa returned to Cloud’s side and helped him stand. 

However, the moment they made it to the door, the three brothers literally followed them in a line like lost chocobo chicks. 

Tifa winced a bit, adjusting Cloud's arm over her shoulder as she called back. “Boys, why don't you stay here?” 

They immediately countered with protests, speaking over each other without remorse. 

“Absolutely not!” 

“We won't make a sound…”

“He needs protection!”

“I’ll be okay…” Cloud mumbled insistently. 

“Now, now,” Barret immediately came to Tifa's aid, using every shred of the parental tone he usually saved for Marlene to herd the brothers. “Tifa's apartment is pretty small-”

“Then we’ll wait outside!” The smallest barked. 

“-and she lives right up the road,” He finished with a slightly harsher tone from the interruption. “You’ll get in the way. Hell, probably hurt Cloud more as a result. You don't want that, do ya? He's in safe hands. All you gotta do is wait here.”

At the middle child’s slight contemplation, Tifa finally opened the door. 

The little one practically teleported to stop them. How did he run that fast? 

“Kadaj-” She tried to scold. 

“I take up the least space- I’m going with him.” 

“No fair!” The largest one yelled, but the middle child grabbed his arm and gave him a look of soft apology. 

“Kadaj has a point…” Yazoo explained simply. “If he goes, we’ll know Big Brother is safe…”

Again, neither adult audibly questioned the ‘big brother’ comment, only keeping their inquiries to themselves. Whatever they were talking about, if it let Tifa leave, then it was fine with them.

Tears immediately left the eldest’s eyes, the middle one sighing and the youngest rolling his eyes. Surprisingly, Loz didn’t protest, finally giving Tifa a path of least resistance to escape. 

“Okay. Come on, Kadaj. Hold the door open.”

The smallest brother immediately did as she asked, and they left the remaining two with the man with a gun for an arm. 

An awkward bead of silence passed through them before Barret suggested the two boys sit at the bar, and he’d get them age appropriate drinks.

They seemed hesitant, but they did take the suggestion, both of them glaring slightly at the height of the bar compared to their respective sizes. Even though Barret only handed them glasses of water, they downed it like alcoholics. Without even asking, he refilled both drinks, and again they were gone in seconds. 

“Damn, kids. When was the last time you guys ate?”

Loz glanced at Yazoo for an answer. Any sustenance they managed to scrape together since the moment they arrived in this situation went to Big Brother. 

“Yesterday…” Yazoo chose to answer honestly. 

“Yesterday!?” Barret echoed in bewilderment. 

Did they give the wrong answer? They only told him the truth. 

“You poor things! Let me make you somthin' to eat.”

Again, they weren't going to stop him, even though all he grabbed were four slices of bread and two slices of packaged yellow cheese. They watched silently as he took the two ingredients and literally handed them both cheese sandwiches on napkins. 

Guilt creeped into Barret’s expression before the snacks even hit the bar. Tifa would kick his ass for wasting any of her products, but especially since he couldn’t pay her back with a mission so soon. However, the feeling vanished when the eldest devoured the innocent meal. 

“Thank you…” The long haired one showed the slightest shred of self control by expressing any gratitude before annihilating his own. 

Alright, maybe he could owe Tifa a couple gil for a few weeks. These kids were starving. He gave them various fruits, more cheese sandwiches, and basically anything else he knew he didn’t need to cook and could restock in a short time. 

Eventually they both calmed, no longer scarfing down each offering like each would vanish in seconds. 

“Thank you, Mister,” the larger one finally spoke. 

“Feelin’ better?”

They both nodded. 

“Mind explainin’ a few things?”

They nodded in allowance. 

Barret cleared his throat before asking his first question. “What were three boys your age doin’ in those planes?”

The two brothers, mainly Yazoo, spun a tale of how they were basically small bounty hunters, and Midgar’s planes usually have weaker creatures that they could handle and make a quick gil off of. He claimed they found a monster they barely managed to defeat, at the cost of all of their weapons, and how they happened to spot the monster Big Brother killed before finding him. He stated that arriving in Sector Seven was just luck. 

None of the remnants had any idea why Big Brother lied, but it gave them the perfect opportunity to fabricate a backstory around it. If they were going to keep an eye on him, they needed to stay close, especially considering their current sizes. And of course Big Brother had a life under the completely fallen plate before the order.

“Is he really your brother?” Barret inquired. “He don’t look like you.”

Loz glared away and crossed his arms, having no choice beyond silence. 

“We didn’t want anyone taking him away…” Yazoo lied a half truth. “And he’s not old enough to pass as Father…”

The man with a gun for an arm squinted in small analysis before letting out a quick laugh. “That’s fair. You’d have an easier time convincin’ someone Sephiroth’s your daddy.”

“He is not our father,” The eldest muttered.

At the confused look on the adult’s face, Yazoo explained with slight darkness in his usually neutral voice, “Our apologies… We get that a lot…”

Barret sighed and shook his head to take the blame himself, yet it reminded him of something. It was a topic he should have brought up sooner. “Do you guys wanna call home? See if your mom can come pick you up? We appreciate the help with Cloud but-”

The middle child tilted towards the older one, who was already failing to hide tears at the reference alone. “Don’t cry, Loz…”

He quickly turned away and swiped the unwanted streams off his face.

Now it was Yazoo’s turn to look away. “We can’t find her… She went missing two months ago…”

Suddenly, the details of their story wove together to a lie Barret truly believed. Three boys, living on their own, trying to make money any way they could, without any parents to take care of them. They came across someone who needed help, and they refused to allow someone else to be taken from them or feel the abandonment they subconsciously felt. He came to those conclusions on his own, and the remnants couldn’t be more grateful for the false belief. 

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Thanks for reading!

#ff7 advent children #ffvii advent children #advent children #the remnants #kadaj #kadaj ff7 #loz ff7 #yazoo ff7 #yazoo #tifa lockhart #ff7 tifa #barret wallace #cloud strife #ff7 cloud #ffvii #ff7 #final fantasy vii #three guards #Three... Guards?

[beardedmrbean]

The Department of Homeland Security’s Inspector General has found "multiple mistakes" that it said led to the release of a migrant whose name appeared on the FBI’s terror watch list – with the report sparking immediate criticism from the agency, which accused it of sensationalizing the case.

The case involved the apprehension of a migrant on April 17, 2022, he was later released by Border Patrol two days later after the FBI’s terrorist screening center determined he was an inconclusive match on the terror watch list, the DHS OIG report outlined.

However, two days later on April 21 in Palm Springs, California, the migrant and his family checked in for a flight to Tampa, Florida, at which point the FBI obtained additional information from TSA and found he was a positive watch list match and informed Immigration and Customs Enforcement, who then contacted the ICE subsidiary office in Tampa. The migrant missed the flight to California, but rebooked a flight to Florida the next day, the report says. He was later picked up by ICE in Florida on May 6.

BORDER PATROL RELEASED SUSPECTED TERRORIST WHO CROSSED INTO US ILLEGALLY, ICE TOOK WEEKS TO REARREST HIM 

While the migrant is not named in the report, Fox News reported last year that the migrant was a Colombian citizen and was put on GPS monitoring as an alternative to detention. ICE did not receive authorization to arrest him until May 4, Fox reported in May.

The inspector general report found that Customs and Border Protection did not provide information that the TSC would have been able to use to confirm his presence on the watchlist.

"This occurred because CBP’s ineffective practices and processes for resolving inconclusive matches with the Terrorist Watchlist led to multiple mistakes," the report says.

It specifically highlighted a request to interview the migrant sent to the wrong address, information obtained but not shared by officials, and a premature release of the migrant before there had been fully coordination between agencies.

The report also includes testimony from a Border Patrol agent at the processing center in Yuma, who said that he and his colleagues were trying to respond to emails from CBP’s National Targeting Center (NTC) but were busy processing an increased surge in migrants. The release of the man came in a busy month, where there were more than 235,000 migrant encounters in that month alone. Agents told investigators that Yuma’s center was over capacity, putting pressure on them to quickly process migrants and decrease the time available to them to review each file.

Meanwhile, ICE officials explained that while the agency prioritized the arrest, its Fugitive Operations did not receive the migrant’s file until 8 days after requesting it. Officials said that the delay may have been because the agency’s Yuma office receives about 1,000 alien files once or twice a week that it must sort, box and ship to Enforcement and Removal Operations (ERO) offices across the country. It is currently piloting using electronic A-files, but that pilot has not yet been expanded.

FBI TERROR WATCHLIST ARRESTS AT SOUTHERN BORDER FOR FY 23 HITS ALL-TIME RECORD 

The IG recommended that DHS implemented processed to better maintain email distribution lists, identify and share best practices for resolving inconclusive terror watch list matches and that ICE have immediate access to GPS data. 

DHS concurred with recommendations made, but criticized the report’s title and framing as misleading for allegedly suggesting that the agency knew he was on the watch list when that was not known and of mischaracterizing the arrest process and timeline. 

A DHS official noted that the individual was placed on GPS monitoring and that he was continuously monitored until he was apprehended by ICE, which followed appropriate procedure after being notified by the FBI that the migrant was a match. 

"This OIG report sensationalizes and mischaracterizes a complex case, in which CBP and ICE personnel took appropriate steps to ensure there was no threat to the public. Noncitizens encountered by CBP are thoroughly screened and vetted, and any individual determined to pose a threat to national security or public safety is detained," a spokesperson told Fox News Digital.

BORDER AGENTS ARREST MAN ON FBI TERROR WATCHLIST AMID MIGRANT INFLUX: CBP SOURCES

"The Department of Homeland Security is committed to protecting the American people and safeguarding our borders, and the Department is constantly working to improve information sharing and execute our vital mission," they said.

Some immigration hawks critical of the administration immediately cited the report as proof of what conservatives have dubbed a "dereliction of duty" under the Biden administration.

"This is yet another example of the Biden administration’s refusal to enforce common sense laws and practices to keep our border secure," RJ Hauman, president of the National Immigration Center for Enforcement (NICE), told Fox News Digital. "What good is a terror watchlist if we allow them to waltz across our border and even board an airplane? These threats are a detriment to public safety and they’re being ignored to advance an open borders agenda."

Encounters of those on the watchlist, which may also includes family members or associates of a known or suspected terrorist and those who may no longer be associated with a foreign terrorist group, arrested by Border Patrol between ports of entry hit an all-time high at the southern border in FY 23.

As of the end of May, there have been 125 arrests at the southern border between ports of entry by Border Patrol since the fiscal year began in October. 

That is higher than FY 2022’s 98 encounters, which itself broke a record. In FY 21 there were just 15 arrests and in FY 20 just three. 

#nunyas news #sigh

[druidgroves]

Chapter 01: Life's the Loveliest, Way Back Home

Fandom: Fallout 4

Words: 2,855

Characters: Georgia Tate (Canon-Divergent Sole Survivor), Nathan Tate

Notes: IT'S FINALLY HERE Y'ALL ! Pls enjoy <3 Expect longer chapters from here on out!

read on ao3

September 28th, 2075

School had been out for nearly an hour, yet neither parent of Henry Tate had decided to show.

Once Georgia had realized it had been fifteen minutes since the rest of her second grade class had been picked up or walked home–all twenty-eight of them except for Henry–she began to worry. Hopefully Henry’s mother was just caught up in a military checkpoint and would arrive soon, but the seven year old didn’t seem to mind his current situation. In fact, he was completely happy to spend more time in the classroom distracted by a snack from Georgia’s desk, a box of crayons, and a coloring book. She’d given them to him before she had run down to the front office to call up the boy’s mother.

After calling his house and getting a housekeeper on the other end instead, Georgia learned that Mrs. Tate was in the middle of an appointment at the salon and wouldn’t be done any time soon. She had to wait for the housekeeper to call the salon, figure out the details regarding who would be picking up Henry, and then call the school again to relay the plan. Mrs. Tate was sending her brother-in-law in her stead and after everything was settled, Georgia couldn’t help but be a little upset that the woman had seemingly forgotten about her own child.

How the hell do you manage that?, she wondered when she was back in her classroom, sitting in one of the tiny students’ chairs beside Henry. The boy had spent his time coloring in the spots of a giraffe with a yellow crayon. Thirty minutes had passed since the series of phone calls and still no one had appeared.

“Is that an alien giraffe?” Georgia asked Henry when he started filling in the animal’s body with a lime green. He shook his head, pressing down hard on the wax crayon.

“No,” he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and to him, it was. “He’s a sick giraffe. He’s green, can’t you tell?”

Georgia took in his work for a second, shaking her head at her obvious foolishness, “Psht, of course he’s sick, silly me. What’s his outlook, doc?”

“Huh?”

She laughed, “Is he gonna get better?”

Henry got the same look on his face that he had whenever they had a math lesson, like he was thinking really hard. Georgia thought it was funny how his nose scrunched up as he replied, “I dunno. I don’t think he can get better by himself.”

“Well,” said Georgia as she stood up from her chair, checking her watch, “maybe you can color him a friend to help him out. I’ll be right back, okay? Just outside the classroom.”

Henry nodded eagerly and began flipping through the coloring book to find a suitable animal friend for his sickly giraffe. Georgia stepped halfway out of the room to poke her head into the hallway, checking to see if anyone was rounding the corner from the front door of the school. Instead, she was met with a faint plume of smoke drifting from the other end of the hallway. A man with tousled brown hair and a cigarette between his scarred lips stood in front of the bulletin board she used to display her student’s work, an amused smile on his face.

“‘Scuse me, sir, you wouldn’t happen to be here to pick up Henry Tate, would you?” she asked, though she could already anticipate the answer to her question. What else could a man like him–tall, broad shouldered, handsome, and undoubtedly living the bachelor life, making for prime uncle material–be doing in a primary school?

“I am, actually,” he confirmed, his head snapping to the mention of Henry’s name as he moved the cigarette from his mouth to between his fingers. “Sister-in-law sent me to pick him up.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, nodding at his cigarette, “Probably not smart to smoke inside a school, sir.”

There wasn’t any judgment behind her words (she had the same faint yellow stains around her fingertips anyhow), but the man snubbed the still-burning cigarette on the heel of his shoe before tucking the rest of it back in its carton.

“Fire hazard?” he asked as he slid the carton into his shirt pocket.

“Among other things,” she said. “Besides, they say smokin’s bad for your health anyhow.”

“People who say that don’t know how to have fun,” he responded casually, grinning as he gave her a quick once-over. Subconsciously she straightened up as he did, eyes lingering on her a moment longer than necessary she noted. “Nathan Tate, but you can just call me Nate. Where is the little man, anyways?”

Nate Tate, she thought, smiling a little at the rhyme.

“He’s in here finishin’ up a green and yellow giraffe,” she said, nodding back to the classroom. “A sick giraffe, mind you.”

“Sounds like he’s taken a bit of artistic liberty, but I’m sure his mom will hang it on the fridge anyways,” Nate shrugged, then walked into the room behind Georgia.

“That’s me, kiddo,” he said as he put Henry down again. “Mom was too busy to pick you up–” he threw a look at Georgia that said all she needed to know about his opinion on the woman, “–so you get me instead. Sorry to disappoint.”

At the sight of his uncle, Henry perked up immediately. He hopped up from his chair and ran towards the two of them with the biggest grin on his face, shouting, “Uncle Nate! Uncle Nate!”

Georgia sidestepped the two as Nate scooped his nephew up into a bear hug.

“You’re not a dis’pointment,” Henry said with a toothy grin. Then, like he remembered Georgia was standing not three feet away from them, excitedly shouted, “Wait, wait, Uncle Nate! This is my teacher, Miss Georgia. She’s nice and I like her a lot.”

“That’s good to hear,” Georgia laughed as Henry wrapped his arms around her waist in a hug. She took Nate’s hand when he offered it, her perfectly soft and manicured hand dwarfed by his own calloused one. “Georgia Walker. I’m glad I could make a good impression on your nephew.”

“From what I hear, he doesn’t stop talking about school, you especially. I’d say you’ve even made a good impression on me, just by association,” said Nate. He leaned against the doorframe, running a hand through his charmingly tousled brown hair.

Now Georgia was fully blushing, her cheeks warm enough to melt ice as she tucked a stray piece of wheat blonde hair behind her ear, “Well, that’s good to hear, too.”

Nate winked at her, a split-second thing, then looked down at Henry, “Hey, little man, why don’t you get your stuff together and then we’ll swing by the Red Rocket and get us some sodas, okay? I wanna talk to Miss Georgia for a second.”

At the promise of soda, Henry darted off to gather his things. Nate turned to face Georgia, her eyebrows raised in curiosity.

“Tell me if I’m being too nosey, but where are you from? Down south? You sound too soft to be from Boston,” he asked, leaning against the doorframe and fiddling with the carton in his shirt pocket.

“Arkansas,” she nodded. She’d gotten comments like that before. “Grew up outside of Little Rock and moved up here for college then decided to stay. Why d’you ask?”

“Just to make sure you’re not local,” he replied casually, flashing her a smile with straight white teeth, “so I can show you somewhere neat on our date.”

“Date?” Georgia repeated. If her face had been red before, surely it was even more so now.

“If you want,” he nodded, then he grinned, running a hand through his hair again. “C’mon, let me show you somewhere nice.”

God, she couldn’t possibly say no to him and his perfect hair and his perfect teeth and the slightly jagged, still incredibly attractive scar on his lip. She’d sooner stick herself with one of her student’s safety scissors than say no to him.

“Pick me up at six and it’s a date.”

----------

Looking back on it, if she had followed through with the safety scissors, Georgia may have saved herself no small amount of grief.

After a series of dates and late night phone calls, she and Nate were married by the spring of 2076. She learned on that first date that he had recently finished his eight year commitment to the military, but now he was working in a Corvega factory his uncle owned. His nepotism paycheck and military benefits more than covered anything Georgia’s salary as a teacher couldn’t after they were married, and he didn’t let her forget it.

“You should quit your job,” Nate had told her not for the first time since they’d tied the knot two months ago. He rolled over in their shared bed to position himself to look up at her, resting his chin in his hand with his elbow digging into the mattress.

Georgia humored him with a raised eyebrow and pursed lips as she dog-eared her place in the book she had been reading, “And why is that?”

“Because we want to start a family some day, right?” he asked without expecting an answer. “We just got the house, you can fix it up how you want, get it all settled before we get a baby in you.”

Georgia couldn’t help but cringe at his phrasing, but she could see Nate’s point, or at least the idea of it. They had talked about kids before. On their third date, Nate admitted that he had always wanted a big family—a pretty wife, four kids minimum, and a protective yet lovable dog, all running around a big house built by his own hand. The dog part had already been checked off his list, though not in the way he envisioned (the tiny white Bichon Frisé Georgia had convinced him to get instead sat snoozing in its dog bed on the floor at the foot of their own, never to sleep on the bed by Nate’s orders). Georgia also wanted a family at some point, but given that she was only twenty-two and barely a year into her teaching career, she figured they had plenty of time as a couple to get there. Her husband, however, seemed incredibly eager and in his own way, it was kind of endearing how much he wanted to start a family with her. She couldn’t help but smile down at him.

“I’ll think about it,” she finally said, putting her book on the nightstand beside her. “Let me finish out the school year first, then I can use summer to work on the house. Kinda like a trial run. If I need more time after that, then we can talk about me stayin’ home full time and tryin’ for a baby.”

Nate grinned, lips curling to reveal his perfect white teeth. He reached over to wrap his free arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him.

“Sounds like a plan,” he said, then pressed a kiss to her arm, her shoulder, her neck, her cheek, the whole time making her giggle. “Wouldn’t hurt to get some practice for that last part, though, would it?”

Georgia laughed, oblivious to the consequences of the moment, and pulled Nate up to kiss her.

----------

“That’s not the right eye stalk.”

“Well, shit, Georgia, when did you become a robotics expert?”

Georgia crossed her arms over her growing stomach and gave Nate a deadpanned look, “When I read the Mr. Handy manual cover to cover. Eye piece A goes into connector piece B.”

Nate rolled his eyes, throwing down the Mr. Handy eye stalk he had been holding. He pushed himself off the living room floor where he and Georgia had been attempting to attach the limbs and eyestalks to their new robotic butler. Georgia picked up the eye stalk as soon as it hit the carpet, checking for any dents in the piece before glaring at her husband.

“I told you I could put him together myself,” she huffed, picking up the screwdriver next to her and properly connecting the eye stalk to the main chassis of the robot.

“I put together machines for a living, you don’t,” Nate snapped, leaning against the kitchen island.

I don’t do much of anything these days, Georgia thought bitterly, wonder whose fault that is?

“You put together cars on an assembly line,” she muttered under her breath where she thought he couldn’t hear, but the way his head snapped to her told her otherwise.

“If you think you can do better, be my guest. You wanted the damn thing, you can put it together,” he growled, snatching the car keys off the counter.

“That’s what I was tryin’ to do, before you butted in,” she said defensively, pointing at him with the screwdriver for emphasis. When he started for the side door, though, she frowned. “Where are you goin’? It’s eight o’clock at night!”

“I’m going for a drive, jesus, can I not go for a drive?”

“That’s not what I said–”

“Look, just put together your stupid robot but don’t come crying to me when its saw arm tears your new curtains to shreds. I’ll be back later.” With that, Nate stalked through the side door, letting it slam behind him. The irritated sound that came from deep within her covered up the sound of their car starting in the driveway and peeling off down the street.

Georgia had always heard that the first year of marriage was hard, but good god, she didn’t expect it to be like this.

As it turned out, she needed more than what her summer break from teaching allowed her to do to the house. She ended up putting in her resignation and settling into her new role, cooking homemade meals in between home improvement projects. She had been the perfect little housewife Nate had wanted, but that didn’t seem to be enough. As the months went on, his shifts at the Corvega factory had him coming home later and later. “Putting in overtime” as he called it. They only had the one car–the one Nate decided to drive off with in his annoyance–leaving Georgia stuck in their home in Sanctuary Hills while he was at work.

Her mother tried to encourage her to make friends with the neighbors but that had turned into a huge bust. She’d spent hours making flyers for a neighborhood potluck, sending them out a month in advance even. She got as far as setting up tables in the driveway before someone took pity on her and told her no one was going to come. After that, Georgia resolved to become something of a shut-in to avoid the judgmental stares of the neighborhood. At one point she reminded herself of a character from a short story she had read in school, wrapped up in her own samples of yellow wallpaper from how stir crazy she had started to get.

When he was off work, it was like she and Nate could barely stand each other. Georgia couldn’t ask him how work went without Nate blowing her off, and he couldn’t make any comments on her half finished home improvement projects without her getting defensive. Whenever they both happened to be home, it had always felt like an argument waiting to happen. Georgia had spent far too many phone calls with her mother in tears, wondering if she had made the right choice about it all.

But then two pink lines showed up after a missed period.

She had been so, so nervous to tell Nate that she almost didn’t. But then she remembered how he looked when talking about starting a family with her, his dream of little feet toddling through a house he built himself, and it reminded her of when things were better, so she told him in hopes that they could return to that. The look on his face when she did had very nearly been worth it.

On his days off the two were together painting the nursery, throwing out name suggestions (they finally landed on Shaun after Nate’s grandfather), and putting together the crib. For a little while things started looking up, but when the nursery was finished, when Georgia couldn’t keep up with chores like she did before she had a baby in her, and old arguments resurfaced, she couldn’t help but feel like it was falling apart again. Part of her convincing him they needed a Mr. Handy unit in the house had been her trying to fix whatever broke between them, and if she really thought about it, the baby had been that too.

Despite it all, an extra set of robotic hands around the house and a baby with the weight of an entire marriage on him couldn’t fix a union built on unsteady foundations. The best Georgia could do now was hope that by the time little Shaun was born, some of the cracks could be repaired.

#fallout #fallout 4 #fallout fic #fic: best laid plans #my writing #HERE SHE IS HERE SHE IS HERE SHE IS !!!! #pregnancy tw #theres casual talk abt it in the fic but some of the language used migjt be a bit much so putting thst tag on just in case <3

[morsobaby]

I've been having some. Interesting feelings about attraction and gender identity lately. I honestly think it's not anything that weird but I feel embarrassed talking about it, some internalized phobias or something probably.. It's a messy subject for me so I like to dumb things down whenever someone asks, and also for the sake of trying to make some sense of myself.

I say genderfluid but in detail that means sometimes I feel a different gender depending on the company I'm in, sometimes I feel a strong urge to be some gender despite not "feeling" like I am that gender, sometimes I legitimately don't know if I'm just really in denial about being SOMEthing that I just don't know?? I feel isolated and dysphoric when people talk about binary genders and reduce people down to Men and Women. I don't fully connect w the nonbinary Culture either, the popular image of nonbinary being "Flat chested androgynous quirky person who goes by they/them pronouns" really bothers me. It took me so long to figure myself out bc I didn't vibe with what the most common portrayal of nonbinary people is like. I'll stop before I spiral into being dysphoric or anything

Having a crush on not one but two trans men, but wait, is it romantic or platonic? Or do I just wanna be physically intimate bc I'm touch starved? And then there's amab and generally masculine bodies, for cis men I feel a sort of gender envy and for anyone amab or masc aligned who doesn't identify as a man. It's like. Woah, I Feel A Feeling for you. Romantic? Sexual? Sensual? Envy? Idk but it sure is a Feeling. Ykno? I can aesthetically find men attractive obviously, I don't need to wanna date them to think that at all. Men are hot that is a fact. But then even all that aside there's my aromanticism. Demiromanticism to be specific. Or grey. Well, both. Probably. So it's like okay now is this platonic or sensual or or or... And it goes on. It's hard. I need so much time. Help.

And then oh boy. Attraction. Can of worms I could almost say. So basically I suffered comphet for years until my ex best friend (boy) confessed to me and it finally clicked, no, it's not that he's undesirable as a person, but I literally cannot romance with boys. And then that was that for a long time. Great. Internalized homophobia aside it was cool. Then I had a crisis bc I fell for an amab person who actually turned out to be a trans woman and I'm like Woah okay this is a. Feeling. Confirms my lesbianism yes? No? I still can't bring myself to say I'd genuinely date and have a romantic connection with a man, I wouldn't, but here and now I have strange uh.. Stumbles I guess? Things that throw me for a loop.

And don't get me started on gender fuckery like genderqueer people in any capacity, I am very attracted to them in Some Way. What way depends on the person bc obviously it's a wide category. But man, when they have a spicy gender. I am looking respectfully. When they're gnc or mess around w expression, ohhhhh boy. Oh man. Xenogender? Otherkin? Ohhyes I would date an aesthetic concept or a supernatural creature in human form. Ohh wow. What society at large deems too weird and nonsensical is so so close to my heart. Owns my heart. Completely gender conforming binary cishet people perplex me so much. How can you live like this. Why. You're cis, the world caters to you, you're attracted to what is considered the correct gender, aka the opposite and that comes with a slew of categories and a specific box to fall into. And that box was made for and by you. Jesus. Fuck off

I feel so alienated. It's so weird and uncomfortable hearing people say some shit about how binary genders and sexes work 100% of the time and this is the correct opinion and logical and science blah blah. Ew. Please stop talking. Is this how you perceive people? God. Is this how people perceive me? Eugh. Genuinely wish the world was more openly normal about gender fuckery, bc around where I live, people can't even be normal about a person wearing a skirt. Regardless of what gender they're perceived as (but God forbid they're perceived as a Man bc mEN can't WEar SKIrts Its UNNNAtural)

Sighs. My brain feels so jumbled. Sometimes I genuinely forget or just, feel so blindsided by the fact that binary cishets exist. Like they love to say "Oh well you can't force me to be gay or trans, it's just not me, that's just not fair" but never have the same energy for actually trans and gay people. Fucking ridiculous

#My thoughts #Gender

[beneaththetangles]

Ya Boy Kongming Ep. 9 & the Adult I Aspire to Be

Kongming is more than just a great tactician with a charmingly demure manner and surprisingly decent rapping skills. He’s also the kind of adult I aspire to be, and one I think that all of us—as we hand in our membership cards to “the young generation” (ahem, as we age)—can stand to learn a thing or two from. This is because Kongming models the kind of servant leadership and honor for the youth that we see too little of in our world. He does what all of us should do, as we grow in skill, experience and expertise: Kongming invests in the next generation. And in doing so, he’s going a long way toward building the kind of inter-generational relationships that are so easily lost in an age of rapid change, instant gratification, and a media culture that seems more often to emphasize the irreconcilable differences between generations than partnership among them.

In other words, Kongming offers us nothing short of a blueprint for forging multi-generational legacy, something that lies at the heart of the gospel.

Kongming died in the mid-200s, and materializes (seemingly from a shooting star) in Shibuya 1800 years later, younger than when he died, but still likely in his 30s or early 40s. Though his hair betrays no grey as of yet, he is no youth. If anything makes this plain, it’s his distinct distaste for the club scene and EDM music, which he takes to be confirmation that he’s woken up in hell. At least, until he hears Eiko singing.

This is to say, Kongming awakens to find himself an alien in a world he doesn’t recognize.

How many of us can relate to that, I wonder? Do you remember kitchen phones attached to the wall? The Commodor 64s at school being the cutting edge in modern technology? Having a pen pal to whom you wrote letters on paper, putting them in envelopes with a stamp and posting them through a red or blue metal box on the street corner, in hopes of receiving a reply in a month or so? I do. Sometimes I marvel at how much the world has changed in my lifetime—technology, language, worldviews—and how much I’m lagging behind. I even catch myself saying occasionally, “In my day, …” as if it’s not “my day” any longer, though it was just a moment ago.

This is where resentment can creep in. When we realize that the world that was seemingly defined by us and our peers now belongs to someone else, to the next generation who are shaping the trends, skyrocketing to fame, wowing the world with their precociousness, their activism and innovation. It’s easy to start to see them as, well, “them”, as some Other. And it’s easy to start complaining about a generation that doesn’t appreciate the advantages and opportunities they enjoy and which “we” didn’t have.

Kongming on the club scene. Mood.

When Kongming arrives in Shibuya, in a place that seems like him to be hell in its disorienting noise and unfamiliarity, he would be well excused to complain. To criticize the garishness and crudity of the world he saw around him; the rudeness of the youths who mob him and chug tequila down his throat. He’d be well excused maybe even to start ordering people around, as he must have been in a position to do in his previous life, having been the top advisor to a king.

He doesn’t do any of this though. Instead, amid all the noise and chaos, he remains open and humble, and because of this, he hears beauty and potential and heart in the midst of the alienness. He hears a single voice ringing true above the turmoil of the club: he hears Eiko.

What follows from this moment early in episode 1, all the way up to now with episode 9, is the story of a man who chooses not to try to recapture his former glory or recreate the world he used to live in, but instead to make it his life’s work to see the next generation step into its full potential and continue to change the world, taking it even further from the world he knew. Kongming wants to see Eiko and Kabetaijin (and their fans and supporting crew) strive toward what he and his generation were never able to achieve. He wants to see them step into the glory that eluded him.

To do this, he starts listening to EDM, and more to the point, listening for the beauty he can find amid the “inscrutable tootle” that he first takes it to be. He learns about the music industry, modern technology, social media, and dropping rhymes. He works a menial job to supplement the “war coffers”, as he calls them, taking his finely honed tea serving skills (truly an elite art form in the Three Kingdoms-era China from which he hails) and putting them to use mixing drinks in a club. He quite literally serves.

Kongming does not, however, adopt streetwear or change his refined manner of speaking—these things are part of who he is and he’s not trying to “fit in” with the youth, be relevant, or pose in some way to gain their approval. No, he doesn’t change who he is. But he does broaden his horizons and engage with the changed world he finds himself in, discovering beauty in unexpected places and seeking out new ways to put his wisdom to work.

He does all this for the sake of supporting Eiko and her dream to become a professional singer. He does it also to get Kabetaijin over his gut-wrenching anxiety and back onto the stage in front of the microphone that brings him to life. And for the dj and bespectacled super-fan in the background too, whose skills he recognizes, and for whom he makes a place on his team, in his community. (Can’t wait til he meets Nanami and enfolds her into the merry band as well!)

Kongming breathes purpose and hope into each of these young people, coming alongside them and equipping them for the journey ahead.

At times this means confronting and challenging them, particularly with Kabetaijin; at others, simply setting them up for opportunities they could not or would not have sought out for themselves, as is more often the case with Eiko. Kongming opens doors and pushes them through with a motivating word and a nudge to the backside. Most importantly, he sets them up to fight their own battles, as with Eiko and the recording studio dude (or pudding geezer, as she calls him), or Kabetaijin and himself in the rap battle. Kongming is there to advise them along the way, and to celebrate them when they surprise themselves with their ability to stand tall and do what they thought was beyond them.

Kongming is, in other words, an elder to them.

Part of what this entails is adapting his own dream—to unite the world—so that it complements the dreams of the next generation, undergirding and facilitating them. So rather than prioritizing his own agenda, Kongming seeks to ensure that Eiko becomes the singer she wants to be. In so doing, he will achieve his dream of uniting the world—through her music rather than military conquest.

In other words, Kongming recognizes that it’s not a zero sum game: this is not old world vs new world; his generation vs the next generation. Instead, he understands that the two work together; that he, with his superior skill and experience, must partner together with others, even those who are relatively inexperienced and have not yet stepped into their full potential in the way that he himself has done. The youth need him, and he, they. Together, they will shape the world into the kind of place where dreams come true.

This dynamic is a two-way street though, and hinges on active participation from the younger generation too. Kongming takes the lead in reaching out and making the offer, but Eiko, Kabetaijin and the others must grasp his hand and accept.

Eiko does this very early on. Moved by Kongming’s kind words about her singing, and no doubt also by his childlike wonder at the new world and the vulnerability he shows as he quietly mourns all he’s lost, Eiko’s heart is softened toward the older man, and she opens up to him in a way she rarely does, according to Owner. And she continues to do so, as she learns to trust him more and more.  

Kabetaijin follows a different path, but likewise learns to respect Kongming through their unusual encounters, first, in the laundromat and ultimately, on the stage. In the midst of his resentment and fear at being duped into a rap battle, Kabetaijin recognizes the heart behind it, and the truth that Kongming was setting him up for success and not failure.

Trust. Respect. Acceptance and appreciation. These are the things the youth offer in return to Kongming.

Not so though with the villain who finally appears in episode 9.

The villainous Karasawa

Until now, the “bad guys” in Ya Boy Kongming have been more obstacles in the great tactician’s stratagems, than true opponents. But episode 9 sets up music producer Toshihiko Karasawa as a genuine villain, in that he is the opposite of Kongming in the area that matters most: his relationship with the young people under his care, the girl band Azalea.

In short, Karasawa exploits them. He seeks to control them, choreographing their every move from what they wear and what they sing, to when and where they perform, even banning Nanami, the lead singer, from busking. He promises to make them stars and have them singing in stadiums within two years, yes, but only on his own terms. And those terms are pleasing others, namely him. It is a lesson he claims to have learned himself, and now he is forcing it onto Nanami and her friends. Karasawa does not partner with them and their dream, but rather co-opts them into serving his own vision and priorities. As a result, it is an abusive relationship.

Karasawa doesn’t mince his words with Azalea.

But even this relationship is a two-way street. And the sad reality is that Nanami and her friends are in part responsible for landing themselves under such tyranny. In a moment of discouragement, Nanami wanted a quick fix, a surefire way to fame and fortune, to market their music. And she viewed this man, with his expertise, connections, and financial resources, as the way to achieve it. She approached him in an instrumentalist way, seeking to get what she could from him. Trust and respect, acceptance and appreciation had nothing to do with it. Instead, this was a transactional relationship.

And so the battle lines between the two generations here were drawn.

Too often, our society falls into this tendency to decamp along generational lines. It happens in the world and in the church too—ironically, often over music. We don’t understand each other and the respective worlds that we come from. We see each other as obstacles, tools, or at best, something to be tolerated or perhaps addressed politely, but not really permitted to be a part of our lives and dreams in a meaningful way. We each stick to our own priorities, our own way of understanding the world, our own goals for what that world should look like.

This is why we have so much to learn from Kongming: because he doesn’t fall into this destructive cycle.

Kongming’s words are the opposite spirit of Karasawa’s. Kongming calls out the gold.

As an elder, as someone from an older generation, Kongming has the advantage in his relationship with the youths. It’s never an equal balance of power between the generations, you see. But Kongming uses his advantages—superior experience, skill, expertise—to enable the young people in his care to grow in experience, skill and expertise themselves, and realize their full potential.

In this, he’s like Moses with Joshua, Paul with Timothy, Naomi with Ruth, or Jesus with the disciples. All these mature adults took youths who were at a loose end under their wing, investing time, effort and insight into seeing them mature and become adults who would carry their legacy (that of Moses, Paul, Jesus and Naomi) beyond what they themselves could do. Moses was never able to realize his dream of leading Israel to the promised land, but his apprentice Joshua did. David never got to fulfill his dream of building a temple for God, but he prepared the way, and his son Solomon did. Jesus never had the chance to preach the gospel to the whole world, but his disciples did. God thinks and plans and acts across generations, spanning tens, hundreds and even thousands of years.

We can’t do the same exactly, but we can position ourselves more readily to pass the baton—and to receive it well also.

Like Kongming, we can be on the lookout for the beauty that persists in a rapidly changing world, rather than constantly mourning the loss of what was more familiar to us. And we can be on the lookout for the young people whose dreams and maturation we can invest in and partner with, that in so doing, we might see all our dreams come true.

So the next time the style of worship music changes, or a bizarre new trend sweeps up the younger generation, let’s be like Kongming. Let’s be elders who realize that this isn’t a zero sum game, and who refuse to draw battle lines between the generations. Let’s listen for that beautiful voice that rises above the alien, ear-splitting din of a place we may rather not be in, and invest in that instead, so that our legacy might be found in what we did for and with those who came up after us.

As Paul enjoins us repeatedly, “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” Colossians 3:21 (see also Ephesians 6:4) Or more fulsomely,

“Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or exasperate your children [with demands that are trivial or unreasonable or humiliating or abusive; nor by favoritism or indifference; treat them tenderly with lovingkindness], so they will not lose heart and become discouraged or unmotivated [with their spirits broken].”

Col. 3:21, Amplified Translation

These are words to live by as we leave our youth behind and become the “Fathers” and “Mothers”, the elders of this world. Let’s age well, my friends!

=====

Ya Boy Kongming can be streamed on HiDIVE. And it’s totally awesome. (Yes, I grew up in the 90s, dude.)

#Anime #Christianity #Paripi Koumei #Ya Boy Kongming #Zhuge Kongming #Maturity #Articles #Author: Claire

[swashbuckler5e]

Venom: Let There Be Carnage

Venom: Let There Be Carnage is a 2021 American superhero film featuring the Marvel Comics character Venom, produced by Columbia Pictures in association with Marvel. Distributed by Sony Pictures Releasing, it is the second film in Sony's Spider-Man universe and the sequel to Venom (2018). The film was directed by Andy Serkis from a screenplay by Kelly Marcel, based on a story he wrote with Tom Hardy, who stars as Eddie Brock and Venom alongside Michelle Williams, Naomie Harris, Reid Scott, Stephen Graham and Woody Harrelson. In the film, Eddie and the alien symbiote Venom must confront serial killer Cletus Cassady (Harrelson) when he becomes host to a branch of Venom called Carnage.

Venom was intended by Sony to be the start of a new shared universe, and plans for a sequel began during the production of the first film. Harrelson was cast for a brief appearance as Cletus at the end of Venom, with the intention that he would become the villain Carnage in the sequel. Official work on the sequel began in January 2019, with Hardy and Harrelson confirmed to return as writers, along with Marcel. Serkis was hired as director that August, in part because of his experience working with CGI and motion capture technology, which was an important part of portraying Venom and Carnage in the film. Filming took place at Livesden Studios in England from November 2019 to February 2020, with additional filming in San Francisco in February. The title was announced in April 2020. Marco Beltrami was hired to compose the film's score, replacing Ludwig Göransson from the previous film.

Venom: Let There Be Carnage premiered in London on September 14, 2021, and was released theatrically in the United States on October 1 after multiple delays from its original October 2020 date due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Although it grossed less than its predecessor, the film was a box office success, grossing $506.9 million worldwide and becoming the seventh-highest-grossing film of 2021. It received mixed reviews from critics, who praised the action sequences, chemistry between Eddie and Venom. , mid-credits scene, and Hardy and Harrelson's acting, but criticized the screenplay, while the short runtime drew divided opinions. The third Venom film is scheduled for release on November 8, 2024.

#movies #action adventure #marvel series #marvel #action movies #hollywood #venom comics #venom #venom let there be carnage #venom 2021

[jomanila]

Sleeping with the Enemy

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From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This article is about the film. For other uses, see Sleeping with the Enemy (disambiguation).Sleeping with the Enemy

Theatrical release posterDirected byJoseph Ruben[1]Screenplay byRonald BassBased onSleeping with the Enemy by Nancy Price [2]Produced byLeonard GoldbergStarring

Julia Roberts

Patrick Bergin

Kevin Anderson

Elizabeth Lawrence

CinematographyJohn LindleyEdited byGeorge BowersMusic byJerry GoldsmithDistributed by20th Century Fox

Release date

February 8, 1991 (United States)

Running time97 minutesCountryUnited StatesLanguageEnglishBudget$19 million[3]Box office$175 million[3]

Sleeping with the Enemy is a 1991 American psychological thriller film directed by Joseph Ruben and starring Julia Roberts, Patrick Bergin and Kevin Anderson. The film is based on Nancy Price's 1987 novel of the same name.[2] Roberts plays a woman who fakes her own death and moves to escape from her controlling abusive husband, but finds her peaceful new life interrupted when he discovers her actions and tracks her down from Cape Cod to Cedar Falls, Iowa.

Sleeping with the Enemy was released theatrically on February 8, 1991, where it received negative reviews from the critics, but was a box office success, grossing $175 million on a production budget of $19 million. The film also broke the record at the time for the highest domestic opening for a film with a female lead, grossing $13 million on its opening weekend surpassing the previous record held by Aliens, which grossed $10 million in its first weekend.

Plot[edit]

Laura Burney has a seemingly idyllic life and perfect marriage to Martin, a successful Boston investment counselor. Beneath Martin's charming, handsome exterior, however, is an obsessive and controlling person who has physically, emotionally, and sexually abused Laura throughout their nearly four-year marriage. Then, in a recurring pattern, he apologetically showers her with flowers and gifts.

Martin accepts the invitation of their neighbor, a doctor, for an evening sail, despite knowing that Laura fears water and cannot swim. As a severe storm unexpectedly rolls in, Martin and the doctor struggle to control the vessel. Laura is swept overboard. After an extensive Coast Guard search, Laura is presumed dead from drowning and Martin is inconsolable.

Laura is revealed to actually be alive. After secretly learning to swim, she planned to fake her own death to escape Martin's abuse. During the storm, she jumped overboard, swam ashore, and returned home. She cut her hair, donned a wig, took her stashed belongings and money, and headed to the bus station.

Laura moves to Cedar Falls, Iowa. Previously, she had told Martin that her blind, stroke-impaired mother, Chloe, had died, but Laura had secretly moved Chloe to an Iowa nursing home. Laura rents a house, finds a job, and settles into a new life as "Sara Waters." Her neighbor, Ben Woodward, a young drama teacher at a local college, is attracted to Laura, though he suspects she has a troubled past. They have an agreeable date, but when a kiss turns more physical, Laura resists and demands that Ben leave. She later confides to him that she escaped an abusive marriage.

Martin receives information indicating that Laura may be alive. This is confirmed when he finds Laura's wedding ring in the toilet at the beach house. In her haste to leave, Laura had neglected to confirm that the ring had flushed as she had intended. Martin travels to Chloe's nursing home, posing as a detective, and learns that Chloe's "nephew" has just visited. Laura, disguised as a man, is also at the nursing home, and barely misses encountering Martin. Martin discovers Laura's whereabouts and learns about Ben. He trails the couple to Laura's house and breaks in while she and Ben are outside. Laura notices the small clues Martin deliberately left inside the house - the hand towels perfectly aligned and the contents of the kitchen cabinets lined up to Martin's exacting standards.

Martin confronts Laura as Ben breaks down the door and then tackles Martin, who knocks him unconscious. As Martin aims his gun at Ben, Laura distracts him then knees his groin. She grabs Martin's gun and holds him at gunpoint. As Laura calls the police, Martin expects her to tell the police to protect her from him, as she had done in the past, but Laura shocks Martin by informing the police she has killed an intruder, and then shoots Martin three times. Wounded from the shots, Martin seizes Laura by the hair and grabs the gun, aiming it at her in a desperate attempt to kill her, but the gun clicks empty. Martin then dies from his wounds, while Laura and Ben embrace and wait for the police.

Cast[edit]

Julia Roberts as Laura Williams Burney / Sara Waters

Patrick Bergin as Martin Burney

Kevin Anderson as Ben Woodward

Elizabeth Lawrence as Chloe Williams

Kyle Secor as John Fleishman

Claudette Nevins Dr. Rissner

Tony Abatemarco as Locke

Marita Geraghty as Julie

Harley Venton as Garber

Nancy Fish as the woman on bus

Sandi Shackelford as Edna

Bonnie Johnson as Iris Neppert

Release[edit]

Critical reception[edit]

As of December 2022, the film held a 22% "Rotten" rating based on 37 reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. The site's consensus states: "A game Julia Roberts gives it her all, but Sleeping with the Enemy is one stalker thriller that's unlikely to inspire many obsessions of its own."[4]

Roger Ebert gave the film 1.5 stars out of a possible 4 upon its release, saying while the film had good performances and the opening scenes "briefly seemed to have greatness in its grasp", Sleeping with the Enemy quickly fell into cliches and plot holes and became "a slasher movie in disguise, an up-market version of the old exploitation formula where the victim can run, but she can't hide."[5] Another mostly negative review came from Owen Gleiberman of Entertainment Weekly, who wrote that the film "has the bare bones of a tantalizing thriller" and praised Robert's performance ("you can practically feel her pulse"), but also felt Bergin's role was too "mechanical" to be believed, and placing blame on the "deadwood" script.[6]

Box office[edit]

The film's opening ended Home Alone's twelve week run atop the box office.[7] By the end of its run, the film had grossed $101,599,005 in the domestic box office; with an international total of $73,400,000, the film's worldwide gross was $174,999,005; based on a $19 million budget, the film was a box office success.[8] The film was released in the United Kingdom on April 12, 1991, and opened on #2, behind Highlander II: The Quickening.[9] The next week, the film remained in the same position.[10]

Soundtrack[edit]

The original music for the film was composed and conducted by Jerry Goldsmith. Columbia Records released an album concurrently with the film containing just over 38 minutes of score plus the Van Morrison song "Brown Eyed Girl". In 2011, La-La Land Records issued a limited edition album of 3500 copies expanding Goldsmith's score (but omitting the song).

Home media[edit]

The film reached #1 in the rental charts in September 1991.[11] It was released on LaserDisc in Australia, the United States, United Kingdom and Japan by Fox Video in 1991.[12] It also received various releases on VHS, was released on DVD on 2 September 2003, and subsequently entered the market of Blu-ray in June 2011. As of October 2020, it still hasn't been released on 4K.[13][14]

Awards[edit]

The score by Jerry Goldsmith won the BMI Film Music Award, 1992, and the film was nominated for the Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films Saturn Award for 1992 in four categories: Best Actress (Roberts), Saturn Award for Best Supporting Actor (Bergin), Best Horror Film and Best Music (Goldsmith).

[thoughts-feelings-musings]

20.6.23

I don’t like myself, actually. I’m worried I’m inauthentic. I’m worried I’m too authentic and should just become someone new.

Each time I try to become someone new because I don’t like my current self I seem to end up worse.

Nothing is ok.

Nothing can be, because I am not ok in who I am. I want to find true me. I’m scared of finding true me. What if true me is just… boring? What if she’s not and she’s too rowdy?

I’m too much. I make myself too much to compensate for the fact I’m not enough. I should crawl into a hole and never come out.

Time to get ill again. I don’t won’t to see L. I don’t want him to visit now. I’m done with existing.

I wish I could stay inside all day everyday. I can’t.

I want to go back to the box mum put me in. The one that made me small and polite and a good girl. The one with the posh voice and the strict personal code. I want to go back to Normal Me. The one I presented to everyone. I still use her every now and then. I miss her. She was Safe. Didn’t get me in trouble, but didn’t let me enjoy life either. She kept me well thought of and impressive to others. She made me ill.

Give me something I can use to end it. Or don’t. I don’t feel like doing life anymore.

Maybe it’s just tonight. After E gave me feedback re J+D when L+F we’re here before. Cringe. Kay why ess. It’s fine.

I feel like this frequently. This inner disgust. Inner dislike. It was just confirmation of my fears.

The truth is, I’m not a character. I’m a real living breathing person. I can character-ify myself but it’s not who I am. Is me even a real thing?

So deep man.

The performance must end. At some point it has to end. I need to be normal about this. About me. I’m worried. I don’t know why. Life is hard. I want to up and leave. Monaco here I come. Niche reference.

I’m too far in to existing to up and leave. Have too many ties. I want to hurt. I want my body to ache or my head to hurt or my jaw to grind itself to bone.

I want to remove my breasts and my lower body if you get me. Sew it all up. Become alien. No sensation there. No sensation good or bad. None.

It’s ok. I’m just uncomfortable with my being at the moment. I will feel more ok some days and less on other days. This is the plight of adolescence and I’m experiencing it in my 20s. I never got to be a teenager. I’m one now. I’m 8 years behind. I’ve just turned 13 really. Being 13 sucks. Why am I doing it a second time.

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

6.10.23 Saturday

12:44 am

I have a windblow trap and an officer here edited in a way erased some of my paragraph... ( I feel bullshit ).

As much as possible I don't wanna go back on my x on paper coz it's been a long time but hoping that our "old time memories for old time sake" will be on a good memory box.. Like Dra. Mitch my old gf or girl friend she got married twice ( I know it is twice... ) and if her relationship didn't work out, it is her own personal choice to decide...

Me? I also want other people to respect me but we all want to maintain the friendship that we had with our exes...

I don't wanna go back as much as possible coz I'm thinking of other penis already and it will be a sin... Right???

This is my diary and I can't lie here... This is a diary that people should put reality things, put your true emotion and put whatever is in your head... Coz this is diary...

In America there is a Doctor who handled emotion about sex... They have sexologist who explained these things....If you have guilty emotion about sex, you can get a sexologist psychiatrist...

4:48 am

I still have windblow trap....I have stomach ache since 8th of June... hmm....But this is more of constipation issues... Plus, I have tension headache... I hope God will pass any sickness to the bad people inside the rituals...

In the Nutshell:

People in the ritual are 75% fake coz they feel they have power they will continuously damage people's lives like mine... They wanted to appear that they are mature but they are not...

They will continuously wanted to appear important in this world unfairly... These people are probably brain-washing people into their own personal agenda...

These are the bad FilipiNOSE Monkeya'Z... They shouldn't decide for other people's lives... They wanted to have purpose but they only damage the life of people coz they thought that they are powerful and they are right on doing that ritual since 2007!

6:23 am

I need to poops and I have pelvic pain plus sciatica/ priformis...

7:21 am

Hmmm...This Uncle Jun is a faithful dog of Uncle DD... He is getting food meal for Neko and he said DD will pay for everything there... ( Uncle Jun is confirmed fake on me angels )...

How can Uncle DD pay the food in Ate Liza'S Carinderia'Z he can't give me coffee or any rightful assistance... Like yesterday supposed to be my massage therapy.... ( My sciatica or priformis is still here, angels! Meaning I need to do continuously my massage therapy every 2 weeks ).

I want some biscuits but I'm out of coins now...

If I'm getting a bf, I don't want any links on my Uncle DD and Uncle Jun without my knowledge...

I need a bf now to be my support system, I used to work but these days it is just really weird that I'm having a hard time to get a job coz someone is spying on me and I don't know how to explain... (I just don't want Monkeya'Z who keeps on spying on me just to control me....I'm interested on the "colored guy" the skinhead chubby, the other one is still a young man )... Angels, wanted bf here for me...

8:03 am

I just borrow 1 skyflakes from Ate Liza, that is my first credit from her today.... Coz the last time my Nana told me that Uncle DD told him that " let her be alone "... My stomach is cramping, I don't know if it is ulcer or constipation but I think constipation... ( I hope constipation )...

I'm supposed to buy a biscuits the last time but I paid my sides credits... The 2500 is not enough angels, there is no extra for something... It is very tight... It's really poorish...

In the Nutshell:

I want a bf who is sensitive on me but I can work... I mean who can respect me on my food coz I'm always careful not to gain much...

There are different kinds of men even an English speaking guy or alien/ foreigner or even colored guy... Some men wanted skinny and they won't allow their gf's to eat just to be skinny and I don't want that kind of diet and I don't want that kind of bf! THOSE BF'S AIM FOR A CLASSIC BEAUTY ( I think we are not compatible enough to be together... ).

I want someone and I hope athletic coz he can understand my needs on food and my needs to make myself presentable... I used to go to gym 10 years ago and 3 years ago on and off and I was able to eat the entire pizza box but of course I was craving but I was active on the treadmill... Just still the basics exercise not to gain much... I was able to eat the entire chocolate cake without actually gaining much... My life is happy having a healthy lifestyle...I was originally raised by my adoptive parent's and my Aunt Teresa who raised me here always making me a wheat bread or giving me a protein bar...She always wanted me to be fit...

16 years being nothing and I wanted to get a job supposed to be and my life is mixed-up coz of our downfall but I'm a kind of person who always want to recover... To recover no matter what happens...

So, I need a new bf, the only man that I saw here were those colored guy, I don't know if they have stability... They are just new faces here or just visiting their friends or having a house here or whatever ( I need a support system )...

10:03 am

I need a support system and "eater" coz I want healthy and fit... If chubby we need to work it out if it's colored then colored ....

10:26 am

10:46 am

Hey! Colored Alien.. Care to have future with me???

11:24 am

Who can say no to this with an exchange of "Support System"... Now, tell me colored guy!

1:52 pm

I still have episode of stomach cramps but I was able to poops after drinking tea, few minutes ago..

I still have windblow trap and so hot... I miss opening AC but we can't for now ( tight budgeting )...

I need a job but don't wanna commute that far... I wanna get a bf who is alien and having mature mind and alien are usually straight forward if he likes you, he will say it or things that he wants on you or if just friends he will tell you... Coz I'm partly alien raised up here since I was 13...

I'm supposed to be returning but a particular Monkeya'Z are pulling me down... I have very low self-esteem and 1 factor I can't get a new partner....They just damaged and copied me for 16 years without a fair fight! Still, ouchie!

3:53 pm

With my together forever... Wanna join us and be his dad?

5:34 pm

I just noticed now...Someone took away the pump of this lotion...

Who done it?

6:57 pm

I saw the pump under the table... Who done it?

I still have windblow trap, I wanna leave the hometown... I feel frustrated for not getting new uppish or somehow middle-class aliens...

I can't go back... I feel insulted that I can't gain new friends and I can't get a new bf( I really want English speaking ).... A real English speaking even he is colored... I feel insulted someone is controlling my life since 2007...

7:25 pm

I feel bitter after 16 years and I'm just like this? I feel bitter...

8:04 pm

I still have the windblow trap... I feel bitter....I hate that particular Monkeya'Z that they fucked each other since 2007 and I didn't know anything about that...

I feel bitter coz those women were probably flirted with some men that I like and now, I don't wanna see or know them... I suddenly feel jealous these days and I have low self-esteem...

I feel bitter I wanna have my own new circle where I can be center...

I wanna get a new bf ( to be my support system ) willing to piggy-back me... I feel bitter! Colored with maturity and stability and hygienic is good as hamburger, an expensive hamburger ( not cheap hamburger )...

8:39 pm

#Youtube

[ducknotinarow]

| Pandora’s box [start]

There was all kinds of out there things in the city anymore these days, from the Avengers themself to all the crooks that have started to spring up and out of ever nook and cranny of the city. Sometimes beyond the city. Perched up top a building as he was simply looking over the streets below, it was the best part about getting powers from a spider getting to look down out to the city below at night even? It was hard to compared it, though eyeing someone flying just above the roof tops? Rising up a brow making one of the white eyes look larger as he did. Stroking at his chin as he stayed back for a moment, he had heard some talk about someone making work of crooks out in the streets, was that them? Or was this someone that needed to be watching out for? Best to look into this right?

Petter nodded to himself to answer the one man conversation he was having, webs used to get him to the roof top they finally stopped at. Quick to drop down behind them where he could have a better look, at..an alien? Sure they we’re wearing some serious suited up armor but the parts he could see like the wings for one was enough to make it clear that he did in fact come across something no where near human. Considering the state of New York since the Avengers though? is why he didn’t jump to conclusions right away. Sure maybe he could have snuck up and webbed them down but with his luck?

It was just better to go with a more cautious approach in that as soon as he made himself know he went and started to blab of the first thing that came to mind, in his defense she did look like a classic comic styled alien warrior character. They didn’t seem to take offense to the mentioning either more confirming his statement. Yet the mention of working with the Avengers? H pretty much glanced right over her own statements towards him being out and about s late right now. If she was working with the Avengers after all? She couldn’t be harmful? Least tht’s how took what she said she at least knew them. Leaping over to move in a little closer to her. Waving his hand around when she goes on guessing he is young and trying to tell him it was dangerous to be out and blah blah. He’s heard and thought that himself before not like he needed an alien to be telling him this stuff now as well

Soon waving his hand around as if he was shooing all her questions and even concerns away “Yeah yeah, young out in New York at a time like this, I really could be making better use of the time. But hey I’m ahead on any deadlines why no go out for a swing around the city at night right?” There was a joke somewhere in all of that as he he motioned to his wrists, before dropping that top to get more to what had his own attentions “You know who the Avengers are then?”

Their wording could mean a few things granted, but it didn’t seem to be a bad reason they knew the hero’s of the city, well more. “Like personally? Or by reputation cause you know those two are different. They might top over celebrities these days even, I mean Tony Stark already was one and I guess Steve Rogers was, and maybe still is?” He questioned out loud it seemed like he was just rambling on at the moment but he was making use of he civilian names for a reason. Did he think an alien would know their names? Now if they only knew of them then they would only know the hero names of Iron Man and Captain America right? Ehh it wasn’t a perfect plan in truth bit of a long shot if anything really.

“I mean frozen and brought back would be enough to make that name known at least right?” Rising an eye curiously as if he was taking in what he was saying to himself, more trying to gauge her reaction at what he was saying, hopping over to her other side now as he looked at her “Th team is pretty full of all sorts though guess you wouldn’t stand out much ya know if you teamed with them so why play the whole vigilant card instead? They got a Bruce Banner after all, sure a tale blue person wouldn’t stand out too much on the team.” Rubbing at his chin as he audibly hummed in thought a moment “dark past?” He asked moving around again “Hideous scars to conceal who you are?” He gave a gasp as he set his hands to the side of his face before moving to stand in front of her again “OR! Here on some blue warrior alien mission that lined you with the Avengers in a serious of amazing coincidences?” He just keep on moving his mouth spotting any thought that crossed it now being the one to cross his arms over his chest and look her way. “Or i don’t know you befriend someone and now live on earth doing the hero thing? That’s like the plot from a few Sifi films I like take your pick on which fits.” He offered with a shrug of his shoulders.

#muse| peter parker #aflockoffeathers #madamkezzie #[ between the two of us I’m more the odd man out - aflockoffeathers] #\\reply\\ #[star tots au] #((I’m sorry Astrid he never shuts up u_u))