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alicemitch09writes · 2 years

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hiding and seeking (i'll take what i can get)

pairing: Hirugami Sachirou x fem!reader

SUMMARY : yearnings of two confused souls, linked together by a promise that was way deeper than he made at first.

AUTHOR’S NOTES : this is a sequel to enigmatic kalopsia. Please read that first, because there are some things you might not understand if you read this first. This was a surprise sequel, or a sequel I didn’t expect to make lol

surprise, i guess (especially if you’ve read the first)

fanart by dzkrin.

Read on ao3.

Contrary to what you think - no, Hirugami and (L/N) didn't date after everything that happened.

For after everything she's been through, finally seeing the cracks built by her weakened state, Hirugami realized that even if he acted on his feelings then, knowing full well that their feelings were mutual, it wasn't what she needed.

To impose on her at her most fragile state would be a disservice to her being more than anything.

Sure, he held romantic feelings for her, but the timing just wasn’t there.

He felt something for her alright but decided to just leave it at that.

It was the worst.

He had just told her he liked her and then what, leave her hanging?

But strangely enough, she acknowledged his feelings.

It was a long time coming of reciprocated feelings.

Their mutual feelings for each were acknowledged. But it was just that - acknowledged.

Never acted, explored, developed.

Shifting foot to foot, hands clenching and unclenching Hirugami stared at the steps leading to the second floor, where she was.

It was right by the corner of the area, the apartment complex sandwiched between other apartment buildings. Where not long ago, he had walked her home from a summer festival, just enjoying their youth as they should.

While the skies were decorated in bright, vibrant colors, he was experiencing what it felt like to feel someone’s lips pressed against yours – a moment shared by both, a moment he will forever cherish.

The burst of fire flowers painting the night sky could well express his burning emotions then, each color into the night like paint to a canvass.

And she was kissing him back, her soft lips pressing and melding against his. Fingers ran through his mess of a hair, burning with every touch.

That was the moment that changed everything for them both. And it could have gone in any other way, had he not taken her home afterwards.

Indirectly, he felt guilty for it.

After what happened, (Y/N) stayed with Myungim-san, her legal guardian, much to her surprise. (“It kinda makes sense now why she’s so inviting and warm towards me. And why she checks up on me a lot.”)

Despite fully knowing that it was an already pre-existing case, he wished things had gone differently. But what was the point in dwelling on that?

It was a hard, bitter pill to swallow.

A knock, each rap were in tune to the beating in his heart.

A rustle, the doorknob turned, revealing the familiar kind elderly woman. Smiling warmly at him, he returned the smile - albeit shakily, before he stepped aside to let (Y/N) walk out.

Meeting his gaze, her eyes seemed to brighten a bit, as though drawing strength from his presence.

Turning to the elderly woman, she announces her leave and two began walking. Walking past the building, towards the station, out the station, uphill their school.

The walk to school was silent, but he knew better than to push it, wanting only to make her feel comfortable as much as she can.

Seeing her bandaged arm, it hurt to see it, especially when he knew who was responsible for it.

Dressed in her summer uniform, it was unavoidable. And now, everyone saw, but not everyone knew.

Trying to settle into normal proved to be more a challenge without having to accidentally trigger some synapses from their usual routine. More than anything, worry unsettled his nerves. Worry turning to guilt, guilt turning to fear.

Her life would never be the same again, whatever sense of normalcy she was trying to achieve and gain was hanging by a thread.

Still, (Y/N) stuck by him.

Just like he promised.

Despite it all, their relationship remained as is, despite the obvious change. To their friends though, they knew there was something deeper in their relationship.

Pretending not to notice the way the distance between them closed, how at times they would be sharing a touch, a look.

“Ara~” someone said by the entryway, just as she was taking her shoes off.

Noticeably, the tall brunet shockingly wavered.

“What the-“ Hirugami choked, a surprising first for her. “nee-san, you’re here?”

“What an uncute greeting, you dork.”

Unsure how to deal with the situation, (Y/N) could only stand there, watching as the siblings interacted. Shifting slightly from her spot, she peered over to look over the tall lad’s frame to get a glimpse.

Hirugami Sachiko.

Hirugami’s older sister by four years.

“Good afternoon,” the younger girl greeted with a short bow tentatively, the older teen quickly turning to her.

“Ah, afternoon~” her eyes, sharper and more mischievous than that of her younger brother’s narrowed at her. “You must be (L/N) (Y/N), right?”

“Yes,”

“I’ve heard lots about you~”

“Pardon?”

“Nee-san, seriously, why are you here?” Hirugami cuts, narrowing his eyes at her.

“Can’t I visit?”

“You have a boyfriend.” There was a clear ‘duh’ to his tone, exasperated. Rare to hear from him.

“I’m not banned from my own house just because of said boyfriend,” the older sister – Sachiko, replies easily, brushing hair over her shoulder.

“Still, don’t you usually stay there until you forget you have a home?”

Brown eyes narrowing at her little brother, she then slid her eyes towards the guest at the door, watching the sibling back-and-forth.

“Piece of shit, ain’t he?” she asks aloud, almost obnoxiously.

Blinking, surprised to be even included in, she was just about to reply before a hand grabbed her wrist. “Excuse us!”

There was no way Hirugami Sachiko was going to let her brother live this down, watching as her blushing brother took his guest into their house. Oh, Fukuro’s gonna want to hear this!

To say the least since the incident, she’s been scared to go back home. It couldn’t be helped since Myungim-san owned the building meanwhile her aunt – father’s sister, works overseas and isn’t available at the moment to take care of her.

At first, Hirugami worried that she might have to move away. But no, she was to stay. She wanted to say. He’d like to say that it was thanks to him, but that would be selfish and conceited of him, it was her own choice. Not like she had any place to go anyway, when her whole family’s a Nagano native.

So as he watched her, play music from her (new) phone, sounds blaring from a Bluetooth speaker she owned, filling the room with music.

They sat by his bed, listening in. Then she leaned against him, him and his sturdy frame.

And then, they were lying on his bed, centimetres crossed, staring at each other as the music played.

Somewhere in his room lay Pan, sleeping away as though joining them in their quest to just lay down.

“Hey,” she called out to him.

“Hm?”

(E/c) on brown.

She shifts her slightly, allowing strands of blue to fall. His fingers twitched, itching.

“Where do you see yourself in five years?”

He raised a brow at that. “Wow, getting way ahead of ourselves now are we?”

Pulling her hand back, he easily caught the punch headed her way. Breathing a laugh while he’s at it, the jerk. “Just answer the goddamn question.”

“Hm,” with just a brush of his thumb over her knuckles, her balled fists opened up to him.

“I’d probably be a veterinarian.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,”

“Not a volleyball player, like your brother and sister.”

He quirked a smile at that. “Nah, it’s not my thing.”

Inching closer, his eyes slide from her hands in his to her face, just inches- centimeters from his.

“Should’ve guessed,” her voice was a quiet whisper, like of the singer from the current song. “veterinarian kinda suits you though.”

He smiles, reaching over a free hand to run his finger over her cheek.

“I broke up with volleyball way before I met you, from when Kourai-kun and I met. In his words, ‘maybe you’re just burn out from it’.”

This time, she hums, smaller fingers threading with his. Corners of her lips curl up, prettying her features.

“…how about you?” he finds himself asking, almost carefully. “where do you see yourself in five years?”

In the background, a new song begins with guitar strumming, long enough before the lyrics play in with a rather dark and obvious prose. However, the paragraph ends on a light note.

I will follow you into the dark

Unable to help himself, he hums at that particular line. The lyric left lingering through his head.

It takes however that long until she finally replies, as though wanting the song to filter out her thought process, to guide her thoughts, wanting to listen to the song with her.

“I want to be a singer.” As soon as she says that though, she huffs, shaking her head. “What a farfetched dream, huh?”

He doesn’t laugh with her though, face serious. Reaching out a hand, he takes her chin and gently guides it to face him.

Realistically speaking, yes, the music career is a troubling and unpredictable one. Although his information about it is limited, he’s heard quite enough to get a gist about it from her whenever she talks about playing support. But a dream is a dream – big or small, it was no laughing matter even if it were your own.

“Maybe so,” he starts. “however, I’ve heard you sing. And you play like six instruments, you’re basically a one-woman band.”

Her mouth thins, (e/c) lost, muddled.

“Music is your passion,” he adds, could still hear the roar of waves accompanied by guitar strumming.

She could only hum, eyes softening, near gleaming – gratitude filling them. Carefully, she extends out her hand, fingers brushing over his thick hair, his fringe. Closing his eyes, he relishes at the feeling of her fingers, feeling tingles through his spine. It was almost enough to lull him to sleep.

“Hey,” there was a slight croak in her voice, something she ignores as she continues. Both eyes were open now, locked on her. “if you were to send a message to your future self, what would you say?”

The question weighs on heavy, allowing the brunet to mull over. Somewhere in his room, Pan sleepily turns to his side, just as a familiar song starts to play.

“I don’t know exactly what I’d want to say to myself,” honestly, he could still hear the beach waves, her guitar strumming, her sweet, sweet voice. “but…I just hope he’s happy.”

She latches on to his words, allowing them to simmer, sink. Eventually her expression morphs into something dream-like, hopeful even.

“Me, too.”

To get Hoshiumi Kourai to understand the whole thing was tricky. He wasn’t dumb, per se, he was actually quite sharp and scarily observant. It’s just that, when it comes to finding a solution for things he only has one option: act. Whereas for Hirugami, he takes into consideration a lot of things.

It was his innate nature to be curious, to carefully poke at them first, study even, before coming to a solution.

It’s probably not the best approach, but there are a billion people on this earth anyway and a billion of them definitely have their own way of approaching things.

This was his.

Still, getting his best friend to try and understand his way was a challenge way in itself than it already has.

Most especially, because it concerned matters of the heart.

“But this...” he thought of blue hair, (e/c) eyes, the scars on her skin, the softened expression on her face when she talked about her dad, the high on her face during the summer festival. “even if I acted on them now, when things aren't really settled,” he released a sigh, “I may end up killing us both.”

Hoshiumi said no more, deciding to respect his best friend's wishes.

Which lasted for about some months after they graduated.

“What the heck man, you’re just gonna leave it like that!?” came his best friend’s booming and scolding voice.

Though it was a conversation on the phone, be in the same city (since the university of his choice was in Tokyo, an hour away from Nagano), just kilometers away from each other, but the white-haired teen’s voice was as loud as ever.

“Boy are you loud as ever, huh?” It honestly felt like he was in the same room as him.

“Fuck you, man, seriously.”

He smiled at that, staring at the horizon – a landscape of buildings, a concrete jungle. The air was different – stale, dry. Everything was a dull, void of color and life. Just…lacking.

It was thanks to his brother that he could get the chance to move to Tokyo and find even a good veterinarian school. Good veterinarian schools were hard to find nowadays.

Unfortunately – or fortunately, depending on who’s asking – being at Tokyo means he was at the mercy of crowded masses, the famed rush hour and umbrella stealing, his brother and one Hoshiumi Kourai.

(“You are such an asshole,” someone told him a night ago. “Just thank your lucky stars you have connections that led you to do what you want!”)

Faintly, he could hear, from a few windows away, music. Sweet, gentle music.

It brought a smile to his face, thinly, half-listening to his best friend ramble about the facilities in his team and how he lucked out that he was under a pro-contract, just tuning to whatever music played. The more he listened, the more his mind went back to a time he was at the beach, head against someone’s shoulder, listening to the waves, but more so on to the tune of a guitar, and to her singing.

Ah, music.

So that’s what he was lacking.

There was music all around him wherever he goes.

Unsurprisingly, with the influx of people in Tokyo – he had to remind himself it was one of the biggest, if not, cities in the world – there would be some sort of culture clash. It was hard to get around at first, had he not had his older brother to guide him (and Hoshiumi) around.

Honestly, he got the hang of it.

Still, he prefers the quiet and sane Nagano mountains over the hustle and bustle that is Tokyo.

In the craziness that is now his new life, he found solace in music.

Thankfully, Tokyo has quite a lot of those, too.

He once found himself in a record shop, drawn entirely by the sight of vinyl records, even CDs, and the sound of music. Talking a step further in, it was though he could feel his feet sink into the sand, could feel the breeze through his scalp, the smell of saltwater.

Another step in, the faint sound of drums playing overhead. He could almost see a uniformed girl with blue-dyed hair slamming through, a smile on her face.

He might as well be in the heart of her being, seeing as he was surrounded by everything she loved.

Walking through the aisles, combing through albums, artists, his eyes then fell on the listening station at the far back.

Going back an aisle, he plucks the record and approaches a staff for assistance. Immediately, he was attended to, gently instructed how to use the turntable, before leaving him to his own devices, settling on his seat, headphones on.

Breathing a sigh, his fingers line the turntable, brown eyes marveling at the ancient wonder, then at the record he picked up. Recalling sometime back when a blue-haired girl would spend her time listening to it, surprising himself in the process when he saw the album cover but one time.

Still, the memory it serves, as he watched nigh hypnotical spin, music filling his ears, was enough to make him smile.

The distress of the chorus, the almost begging made his heartache.

As another song begins to play, he takes a picture of the store from his spot, then takes a selfie of himself with the record, then sends it to her.

Not long after, just before the chorus hits, his phone lights up, the corners of his lips quirk at the name.

Minutes later, he gets up, record in hand to place at the return bin before diving into the aisle, looking from his phone to the rows of albums. Then, brown eyes widen as long fingers carefully pluck an album of a person lying on the floor. He snaps a picture of the album before returning to his station, sliding his headphones on.

(When she received his text, her fingers quickly type a reply, her laptop was on with her music app on screen, a particular band with a specific album on display. Not long after she hit send, he replies. She glances at her screen, at a particular track number, then texts.)

Carefully, he slides the needle on track nine, then texts.

(Her finger hovers over the play button when she received his reply. Smiling, she hits play, telling him to do the same.)

He hits play .

And just like that, it’s as though he’s transported back into his room, with Pan lying in the corner, a girl with blue-dyed hair lying across him in his bed, and music.

Him.

Her.

Them.

And music.

They kept in touch.

But of course, they do.

Texts, calls, videocalls, they continue to keep up with each other’s lives.

A friendship that spun for years, teased by that one flickering unspoken attraction the two had for each other. It was almost an unspoken rule between the two, to never bring it up, to never delve into it, entertain it, to leave it as is.

It’s almost impossible to not think of the two just as it was impossible Hoshiumi Kourai ever being the silent type.

There was a fair share of embarrassment, mostly on his side when his older brother forcefully himself into one of their calls right after Hoshiumi inserted himself in one of their calls. Note to self: never take your video calls in the living room. Do it in your room.

Hirugami would like to think it was karma for all the times he pranked her back in high school, for all his mischief.

Getting a laugh out of her made up for it, though.

He could endure being at the butt of jokes, having their moment ruined by two of the worst roommates in Tokyo, so long as he got to see her smile like that. A smile that was just as pretty as he remembered, erasing that sad, broken, lost girl at the verge of losing it all.

Just the memory of her in that state, the aftermath of what happened, made him hate their distance much more. It what made him dread their graduation, hated how he was torn between achieving his dreams and being there for the one person he promised he’d be there for.

He would never say it out loud, but with every text, every call, every video call, every time he’d drop by the record store, every time he heard music, every time he saw a shade of blue, the words just found themselves lodged in his throat.

Burdened deeply by the neglect of her own mother, forced to have to depend on her wits to live by, Hirugami just didn’t want to add more to her list of burdens.

Even though she was still back in Nagano, she was making it work. Now living with her aunt, she was faring just as well as when she was with Myungim-san.

Every weekend, she still drops by Noetsu beach, mostly to visit the elderly couple who took her in.

More often than not, she plays with her fellow classmate-slash-bandmates, playing at gigs every other weekend. She makes sure to send him videos of the gigs she’s been in, each local event their band has participated.

She was living her best life, just as he was living his.

And yet, whenever they bade each other good night, after every call, the ache for the other burned. The yearning was there.

And yet.

What can they do?

She was dating someone.

He was studying for an exam, they were having their nightly videocall when she said it. Rather abruptly.

His pen nearly slipped off his hand. Her (e/c) blinked at that, expression turning apprehensive.

“…really?” Fuck, did his voice shake? What the fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck!

Slowly, she nods, expression still there.

Something inside him shatters, his hands slowly shake, but he quickly balls them, quirking on his usual smile. “Tell me about him!”

This is okay, he tells himself.

This is okay, he repeats to himself.

This. Is. Okay.

After all, they were friends – best of friends, even! They had no other obligation to each other, regardless of the whatever they had. Friends looked after each other, took care of each other, shared songs.

Friends were like the stars to the moon, both sharing the night sky to shine down but leaving only the best one to shine brightest.

Friends were two halves of a whole, complementing each other in more ways than one.

Friends were there for each other, through thick and thin.

Friends.

Friends…

Friends …

Friends…sometimes look at the other, with shared yearning despite the miles, listen to the same music, laugh at the same joke, share secret smiles with other. That’s still what friends do, right?

He passed his exam, with a few mistakes.

Just two months later after she told him, they broke up.

(Late at night, makeup mussed and ruined, she has one song on replay with the volume on full blast.

The song plays over and over again.

All she can do is stare at her ceiling, the corners of her eyes burning before leaking to the sides.)

His first beer was given to him straight after the first semester ended, by his big brother no less!

Fukuro says it’s to celebrate, because at the same time, the Adlers were now entering off-season. Which is how Hirugami found himself at some restaurant holding the Adlers’ off-season celebration. Honestly, after a hectic and tumultuous semester, all he wanted was to go home and sleep.

Sleep the night away.

And maybe reel.

Fukuro, however, as though life came in the form of his older brother, had different plans. Giving his youngest brother a call, demanding that he come to the location he texted – accepting no ‘ifs’ or ‘buts’.

Even though he hasn’t told anyone, his brother just knew.

Figures, he’s an old man, Hirugami thought to himself, frowning at the can in his hand.

Somewhere, Hoshiumi was rattling on and on with some other player – he doesn’t know. Everyone around him were mingling, chatting, excitement over the break they’ve been waiting for since the season began, others have talked about training regimens they plan to take. Sheesh, what monsters.

Comfortable in his own little corner, Hirugami just takes everything in, a cold can of beer still in hand.

He hums to himself, lips twitching at each song that he hums.

Looking at the can in hand, the slight tilt he does to read the product name, causes some of the condensation to drip down to his shoes.

Sighing, he tips his head back, taking a sip.

Bitter , he thinks, forcing the amber liquid down his throat, smacking his mouth. It’s bitter.

(y/n): hey

(y/n): so, i made a song cover.

(y/n): truth is

(y/n): the whole time i listened to it over and over and over again

(y/n): all i thought of was you

(y/n): i cried listening to it

(y/n): and yet, it’s the song i made a cover of

(y/n): for reasons

(y/n): anyway

(y/n): hope you like it : )

(y/n): link

Right after she sent him that video, he couldn’t stop listening to it. It was on repeat for days and days to come.

His mind was consumed by nothing but her – the song choice, her singing, the lyrics, the emotion she poured into it.

Somewhere deep inside him, he felt something snap into place.

After listening to her cover for the nth time, life – in the form of his older brother yet again, shoved him his car keys to his face, winking in the process as he and Hoshiumi walked out their shared apartment.

Hirugami then snapped into action.

He came to one of her shows, driving all four hours from Tokyo to Nagano, then practically dashed all the way to the fourth floor, where her band was playing.

Under the fluorescent lights, she saw him.

Him and his beautiful face.

Suddenly, she poured more soul into her singing, pouring everything she's felt and wanted to say to him.

Did it reach him? she wondered.

When they met later that day, Hirugami was quick to pull her into a hug, close and tight, nosing into her hair, her feelings had reached him.

Without another word, he pressed his lips to hers - the same spark from that summer ago was there. It always was. It never died. It just burned, continued to burn, just waiting for it to be fanned and grow.

Grow and grow until cinders burst out into embers, burning brighter and brighter.

It was stupid how they acted just now.

He felt stupid.

She felt stupid.

They were stupid.

Hoshiumi was right, they were both stupid.

Later that day, in her apartment, clothes strewn all over the place, limbs tangling, her head on his chest, long fingers carding through blue-dyed hair, he sent a message to his best friend, though years due, 'you were right'.

#alicemitch09 writes #hirugami sachirou #reader insert #fem!reader #hirugami sachirou x reader #hirugami x reader #hq #hq fic #hq x reader #hq reader #hq reader insert #haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! fanfic #kamomedai #kamomedai x reader

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alicemitch09writes · 2 years

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growing pains (three little foxes universe)

when you’re the youngest, sometimes it was easy to get away with anything. yes, almost anything. well, mostly.

then again, being the youngest gave kaoru a lot of leeway to do whatever. it’s not like he’s doing anything wrong, they’re all just things he pleases.

however, time and time again, he would get reprimanded if what he asked for was too much. more often than not, the person who’d reprimand him was his big sister - (y/n).

his mother was too gentle. his uncle was too carefree. and his other older sister - mika, believed in the philosophy of letting kids enjoy their youth.

but not his big sister (y/n).

nope.

she was not only the strictest person in their family, she was the strictest person IN HIS LIFE.

she may be five years older than him, but her strictness could be unfair sometimes. he was lucky to get away with most of the stuff in his life, if he were to meet her conditions.

it annoys him sometimes that she treats him like a child, as though he couldn’t handle whatever. each and every time he sees an opportunity, she was there to block him.

“nee-san, you’re so annoying!” he tells her, because she was holding his hand as they were crossing the street. age: 6.

“ah, no nee-san, i want to do it!” he calls after her, because he wanted to cut the vegetables for dinner. but she told him off and he never did. age: 8

“nee-san, stop it!” he screeches, face read, because she was cleaning his face IN FRONT OF HIS ONII-SANS! age: 12

“what would you know about love, nee-san? you’ve never even had a boyfriend! let alone, someone who likes you! knowing how boring, plain, and robotic you are, it’s no wonder nobody wants to date you!” he yelled at her, red in the face. age: 13.

for each time she blocks him, she receives his irate, rash words. yet, she remains firm on her ground, letting him say his piece until he’s wrung dry. afterwards, she’d ask him if he was done, then he’d stomp off angrily.

“kaoru, can you please call your sister and tell her it’s dinner time?”

“okay mom!”

climbing up the stairs, he heads straight for the door across his. just as he was about to knock though, he hears sniffles. immediately, his hands freeze inches away from the door.

he hears it again - the sniffles, but this time there was a thud.

kaoru found himself frozen in place, not knowing exactly what to do. his first instinct was to rush to his mom and uncle, to tell them about it. but he can’t. his feet were glued to the ground, body unable to do anything at the sound of sniffles.

and then came a sob.

he jolted on the spot at the sound of it - a sound that quickly muffled, as though the person didn’t want her sobs to be heard.

but kaoru heard it.

a heartbreaking sob followed by light thuds. although muffled, he was sure to make out a scream being held in by sheer force.

with mika away, the only person who was left, who was on the other side of the door, was big sister (y/n).

not wanting to stay any longer, he rushes down to tell his mother that his sister was busy studying, clasping his shaking hands behind his back.

during dinner, as he listens to the adults converse about trivial things, his gaze falls on the empty seat next to his uncle.

a moment later, his big sister appears at the dinner table - expression indifferent, per usual. as though she didn’t have a breakdown earlier. like kaoru wasn’t there to hear it.

big sister (y/n) was a lot of things.

she was, and he reiterates, the strictest person he’s ever met. heck, she’s stricter than his own teachers!

she was also ridiculously smart - always managing to get amazing scores for as long as he can remembers, coming home with papers with O marks, being in an honor’s class, or even having teachers mention her to him at times. she offered to tutor him, mika, the miya twins, or anyone who asked for free!

he’s heard it a lot, but she was super reliable. may it be house work, school work, or club work, she was ready to give a hand. whenever her uncle needed help, she was the first to volunteer. without being asked, she would cook breakfast and dinner. most of the time, she prepares lunches for him and mika, too!

despite how intimidating she looks, she was so incredibly gentle. proof of this was how she easily cares for their family. sure, he had both his uncle and mother, but she just as easily takes them into account and complies with chores.

sometimes, he even forgets that mika was actually the oldest sibling and not her!

for all her amazing feats, kaoru can’t help but wonder just how much his big sister has done in her life for everyone around her.

there was one thing he hated about his sister, though.

she was secretive.

hiding in the face of indifference, never shall she disclose matters of the heart. or more like, she’ll give the bare minimum before shifting the subject off.

when the (l/n) siblings come to mind, it was very easy to start off with mika, the pretty, sociable, sweet girl-next-door. she was also a school heartthrob, a soccer player, and part of the student council.

kaoru, was the youngest. the only boy who loves soccer, a gentleman, sort of naive, and funny boy-next-door.

and then there was (y/n). the smart one.

that was it.

he didn’t mind at first, being a naive little boy.

however, when his friends came over and big sister (y/n) just happened to pass by, the conversation went:

“akio, you like kaoru’s nee-san!?”

“e-eh-!!!!”

kaoru blinked. “huh, really.”

“you don’t mind, kaoru!?”

“...um, it’s just nee-san.”

“nah, if you were to choose, i’d rather you chose kaoru’s nee-chan!”

“yeah! she’s pretty!”

“right? right?”

“compared to his nee-san, well...no offense, kaoru, but she’s just...okay.”

as he returned to the game, the young boy was unaware of his nose scrunching at his friends’ remark.

similar conversations followed through the years, kaoru never once thinking about it much until he considered the details of them, realizing just how overlooked big sister (y/n) was.

yet his big sister would always have this look of complete indifference on her face.

not once has she ever spoken about it, neither has she spoken about what people think about her. however, she knows. she knows a lot of things, just that she never chooses to talk about it.

she’s known for a while.

he never realized just how much words can actually impact someone, never realized as well just how much his big sister endured.

truth be told, he had to admire just how patient she was. reckless words - mostly innocent, were thrown her way almost on a daily spanning for years. at some point in his life, the words people were saying to his sister started to get to him.

with the patience of a saint, kaoru really had to wonder...especially when it came to him.

looking back, was he really that much of a brat growing up? just how much of a burden was he to his big sister (y/n)?

to him, his big sister (y/n) was practically invincible - she was smart, ruthless, intimidating, yet at the same time kind, responsible, reliable, and considerate.

one time, when he broke the neighbor’s claypot because he was practicing his soccer moves, instead of him doing the apologizing, it was his sister. she bowed to the neighbors and promised to replace it. a day later, she went off to tambe with her uncle and returned with the promised pot.

another time, he found some chocolate inside his bag. earlier that day, he had complained during breakfast that he was scared of his japanese and math exams. while his big sister gave him an indifferent look, because she was tutoring him for the past few days, the rest of his family were assuring him.

when he complained about calculator breaking, over a study session with his sister, she wordlessly gave him hers. she never asked for it back since.

over a heaping serving of chicken stir fry she had successfully made for the first time, everyone had a hearty meal - including him. the next day, when he opened his bentou, he found chicken stir fry.

without even having to say anything, his big sister definitely could tell what he wanted before he could say it himself.

even with the many times he’s annoyed her, the times he got mad at her nagging, or the accidental slip of his mouth, his big sister would always be there for him.

and yet, what has he ever done for her?

sure, he quickly picked himself to learn how to cook straight after she cut herself. each and every time she came home and over dinner, she’d give her honest feedback about how oily the serving was or it was too much that osamu would help her finish it. nevertheless, she would compliment his cooking. kaoru felt even more determined to cook.

there was also him working on his grades, just so his sister could have something less to worry about. seeing as she was a club manager, already, plus she was going to be a third year soon, he really needed to give her something less to worry about.

one time, he overheard her talking with both their uncle and mother, sharing how she really wanted to study outside the prefecture but was worried about leaving them behind.

university was fast approaching.

never had he thought of losing his sister that fast, after having her by their side for so long.

she loved the family, she really did.

but there was a bigger world out there, and family shouldn’t keep her from seeing it. those were his uncle’s words.

quietly, kaoru slipped back to his room and cried. then, he worked even harder with his academics and soccer. he didn’t want to disappoint or worry his big sister (y/n).

it’s funny, because big sister mika had been gone for a while now and despite the video calls, the fact that she wasn’t there didn’t really bother him.

his big sister (y/n) on the other hand? man, that would hurt so much.

now that he realizes it, maybe all he’s ever done was take his big sister (y/n) for granted.

after telling suna rintarou off about how he didn’t like her for his sister, something inside him told him that he was doing the right thing. he was protecting her is all! and yet, when big brother reiki had to talk to him, gently telling him off about the way he talked to his big sister’s first boyfriend, there was guilt.

in kaoru’s defense, of his two sisters, big sister (y/n) was probably the hardest for people to love and the most sensitive to it. nobody could ever understand her, could ever deserve his big sister. nobody but big brother atsumu, who was her best friend.

reiki’s words woke him from his overprotectiveness, however, putting it into words that: “you’re clearly underestimating your own sister if you think like that. you’re potentially saying you don’t trust her own judgement to choose who she believes is right for her. sure, you’re looking out for her, but you also have to trust her, kaoru.”

and that got him.

finally doing the one thing he owes his big sister, which was protecting her heart, yet doing it selfishly in the process.

the next time his sister and her boyfriend came to hyogo, kaoru was beside himself the whole time as he wanted to apologize to him. big brother osamu told him that the two were recovering from a fight, something kaoru felt was partly his fault, making things even worst for him.

reiki’s words rang in his head over and over, big sister mika’s, too, after hearing from reiki what happened.

honestly, he felt like the shittiest brother in the world for what happened.

after seeing how happy his big sister truly was next to suna, how relaxed she was the whole time, and how big and bright she smiled - something he hasn’t seen in a long while, something that she has long been deserved, how could he not feel so shitty?

“kaoru?”

he looked up, meeting the same shade of (e/c).

“a-ah, nee-san?”

“are you alright?”

no. but he didn’t want to tell her that, ashamed at his own guilt. so instead, he lowers his head.

he hears her sigh, followed by an arm snaking around his frame for a side hug. he was so tall now, even taller than his big sister, but this hug made him feel...small.

“you know you can tell me anything, right?”

“...it...” he breaks into a sigh, leaning against her. “...it just feels like i owe you an apology.”

“an apology?”

he nods. “one long overdue.”

her eyes widen, her hold tightening.

“i...” he swallows thickly. “i’ve been a terrible brother to you, nee-san. you’ve done so much for us, given us so much, too, yet ask so little in return. but mostly importantly,” he swallows again, feeling and hearing his beating heart. “i...i...”

as though reading his thoughts, she leaned against him, feeling the material of his sweater press against her cheek. “i forgive you, kaoru.”

his eyes shoot wide open. “but nee-san-”

“shh, you don’t have to say anymore. nee-san will always forgive you.”

“b-but,” he stammers. “i’ve said horrible things to suna-san! i basically drove him to nearly breaking up with you! i would’ve robbed you of your one happiness you so utterly deserve! h-how-”

“and did you feel bad about yourself?”

“what?”

she turns her head, (e/c) meeting his very own. “have you thought over your actions?”

“wha- i- yes?”

“and did you talk with rin, already?”

“o-of course! b-but i wanted to talk to you, first!”

“then you’re forgiven.”

“nee-san!”

suddenly, he feels like he was 6 again, frustrated as the light before them flashed green, a striped crosswalk before them.

she shakes, a rare mischievous look on her face. “now you know what it’s like to be at the receiving end of annoyance. kaoru, you’ve suffered enough already. and you were looking out for me. thank you for that. but please, trust me with this, okay?”

he could see his stoic big sister holding out her hand, patiently, staring down at his stubborn, puffy face.

even now, his big sister (y/n) hasn’t changed one bit.

“...okay, nee-san. i’ll talk to suna-san after this, i promise you that.” he adds the last part instantly, causing his sister’s eyes to shine.

“that means a lot to me, kaoru. thank you.”

little him takes his big sister’s hand and together, they cross.

“where’s your dad?” a friend once asked him.

for as long as he can remember, kaoru has never once asked nor considered asking that question. he shrugs as a response, much to the confusion of his other friends.

“so...you’ve never met him?”

“i was a baby when he and my mom separated,” he reasons, twirling the bottle in handle.

one of them hisses, face apologetic. “sorry, man.”

“it’s fine.” truly it was. he takes a careful sip.

“oh, right, you have your uncle, right?”

“yeah.”

“and you’re okay with not knowing your dad, like ever?” as soon as the question was asked, someone next to him smacks them. probably to tell them off, the question veering towards insensitive.

realizing this, his friend was just about to take it back, only to stop at kaoru’s smile.

“no need,” shoulders slacking, he leans back against the sand, eyes to the stars. “like you said, i have my uncle. also...” a smile splits his face. “i have my big sister (y/n).”

#alicemitch09 writes #lol #just an excuse to write on kaoru #or an excuse to write a brother i was mine was #im honestly very tired with how my younger brother seems to not care that he's beenusing me this whole time and i let him bc brothers #that #or im just an easy person for my brother #i don't even think he respects me #i honestly felt like crying thinking about this and writing it up #three little foxes #(un)loving miya atsumu deleted scene #or side-story

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alicemitch09writes · 2 years

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birthday date

pairing: oikawa tooru x fem!reader

summary: happiest birthday to one, oikawa tooru.

author’s notes: this is an old fic of mine that’s actually been on my ao3 for a while, so i thought why not transfer it to tumblr, too?

for reference, please do check this commercial that inspired me to write it :)

also available on ao3.

disclaimer: i own NOTHING but the plot.

“Hey, Hajime, can you do me a favor?”

…

When Iwaizumi told him that they were going out, he honestly thought that he was coming on to him. And how could he not? They went to the bake shop near Kindaichi’s for breakfast, and Iwaizumi actually treated him!

Afterwards, they went to the Sendai Astronomy Observatory, where Oikawa was going to work at months from now, having gone through strenuous some masters abroad.

And to top it all off, they went shopping! Iwaizumi almost never goes with him, even when they were in high school.

Despite the kindness he was showing, Oikawa knew that there was something up his sleeve, there had to be – Iwa-chan wouldn’t just up and be nice to him today, especially today of all dates!

Thus, his conclusion that Iwa-chan was coming on to him.

He even joked him about it all day.

It was almost like he was a kid again, a carefree kid with zero to little care in the world – no responsibilities, no bullshit, no nothing.

He could almost be happy about it.

He could almost be satisfied with how the day went, no matter how simple it was – a date with his childhood best friend.

He could almost be glad to live through another year.

Almost.

But when they went to beach, to a particular bench that overlooked the ocean, he felt his heart quicken, breath hitching.

To anyone, it may seem like an ordinary bench – a wooden bench that was years old, withered but strong – but it wasn’t.

No, this bench was special. It held a lot of memories – good and bad, especially with a certain someone. That bench was the reminder of how his life began.

And standing there, together with Hanamaki and Matsukawa, were his children – six-year-old, Ringou, and barely-ready-to-walk-three-year-old Katsuo. At the sight of their father, the two quickly ran to him.

“Daddy!” they both cried.

Getting to his knees, he took the kids in his arms, who gave their father kisses to his face. Even with his children around, his confusion grew, mind going blank.

Iwaizumi nodded at the two, allowing him to Oikawa to his confusion: there were balloons everywhere, a sloppily made ‘happy birthday’ sign standing beside the bench, and was that the stuffed Chewbacca stuffed toy she bought him?

He felt his heart rapidly beating against his chest, as if ready to burst out, hands beginning to shake.

He looked up to his best friend’s gaze, hardened and filled with sorrow. “Have a seat, Oikawa.”

Oikawa did as he was told, Ringou and Katsuo ran to their uncles, staring at the balloons in awe. He smoothed his fingers through the hard wood, surprised that it was still in one piece after all these years. And as felt on a particular side of the bench, he could see a carving of a love umbrella he had drawn so many years ago, his fingers brushing against one particular name.

‘(Surname) (Name)’

‘Together forever.’

At the sound of his name, Iwaizumi handed him his phone, telling him to hit play. Although still in confusion, he pressed his thumbs to the play button, feeling scared at what may pop up.

Black faded from the screen, of an outstretched hand, before it revealed a familiar face. He gasped, choked at the sight of her.

A smile graced her face, contrasting the mood of her situation – dressed in a dull gray garb, her hair (or lack thereof) bundled in a wrap, deep bags under her eyes, sunken cheeks. Still, she was as beautiful as ever – as beautiful as the day he lost her.

“Hi Toru, happy birthday.” Her voice resounded, silencing everything out – the seagulls, the waves, his children’s laughter, and his breath hitching. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t be there with you. I don’t think I can make it.” His vision began to blur, hot tears streaming down his face as he brought Iwaizumi’s phone closer to his face, to see his wife better. “Toru, I’m sorry. I’ve asked Hajime-nii-chan to celebrate with you. Now that I’m…you know.” Behind him, the trio’s expressions grew grim. “I want you to be happy, Toru. Even if I’m not there anymore. And even though they bully you a lot, I know nii-chan, Makki-nii-chan and Matsun-nii-chan cares about you a lot. Always remember that I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.” She was openly crying now, but smiling still. He hated seeing her cry, but she managed to look effortlessly beautiful at the job, especially now. “I’ll always be with you, Toru. You, Ringou, and Katsuo.” At the mention of her name, Ringou, her mini-version with his hair but her beautiful (eye color) eyes, and Katsuo, Oikawa’s carbon copy also bearing his mother’s eyes, appeared holding out a makeshift cake made out of milk bread, a reminder of when they first celebrated his birthday together and she was low on a budget.

“Happy birthday, daddy!” the two cried, even though Katsuo barely spoke and said it in garbles.

He laughed through the tears, reaching out to his children, pressing a quick kiss to their foreheads as they watched the video together. “I love you all so much. Don’t forget me, okay?”

Just as he thought the video ended, their wedding footage popped up, specifically to their vows.

“Daddy, is that you?” asked Ringou. He replied with a nod.

“Wawa~” cried Katsuo, eyes brightened at the sight of his mother.

He couldn’t help but smile, wrapping his arms around his children.

Another video played, of Ringou’s first ballet recital, followed by Katsuo’s first steps, their Christmas at their grandparent’s (where Iwaizumi was still in denial that Oikawa was his brother-in-law). He could feel the three looking over his shoulder, smiling at each video that played.

The last video that played wasn’t a video, but a photo of their family, all sprawled in bed, sleeping and looking adorable. Hanamaki had taken it, (Name) had declared it her favorite. It was his, too.

When he was done, he handed Iwaizumi his phone, needing a moment to compose himself.

“Daddy, stop crying!” says Ringou, using her skirt to wipe her father’s tears away. Katsuo mimicked his sister, using his stubby hands. But instead of wiping them away, he just seems to smear them across his face.

He laughed, touched by the gesture, tightening his hold on the two.

“Is Daddy ugly when he cries, Ringou-chan?”

“No! Daddy’s the handsomest!” declared Ringou, making his heart swell. They laughed at the declaration, Katsuo laughing along even though he had no idea what was going on.

“Happy birthday, Oikawa.” The three greeted. Ringou raised his ‘birthday cake’ a wide grin on her face.

…

“After I’m gone, celebrate his birthday with him in my place.”

#alicemitch09 writes #oikawa tooru #hq fic #hq fanfic #reader insert #oikawa tooru x reader #fem!reader #oikawa tooru x fem!reader #seijoh #aoba johsai #hq reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu fic

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alicemitch09writes · 8 months

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yknow i was thinking abt ulma and oli and well.... suna is so observant and loved the reader all these years LIKEJDKDJD ITS SOOOOO UGHHHJDJDJD !!!!!!!! i just wanted to know whether or not he’s the type to Just Remember (aka stored in his brain) things abt reader or does he whip up his Notes App to jot down stuff abt her like a dork 😭😭😭😭😭😭

tbh, i think i kinda made him OOC? because he's quiet, deadpan, and sorta there, i kinda made use of that and interpreted it as someone who can be observant at the same time.

i mean, he is one of the best middle blockers (wtf is his statistics, furudate? FIX IT!!! HE'S ON PAR WITH MY OG MANS - KUROO AND HIRUGAMI, AT BEST!) so obviously, he can't have such shit observational skills.

now back to the question:

suna, at least to me, seems to take note of everything and remembers the bare minimum.

however, when it came to reader, he just remembers things in perfect clarity.

a few months after their freshmen year, he noticed that reader no longer had her hair in low pigtails. he never asked, but he just thought that it was such a cliche hairstyle.

when asano joined and began styling reader's hair, suna's eyes would immediately dart to their direction, mesmerized by the transformation. there are some hairstyles reader's donned care of her junior, but suna would always like the pigtails the most

he knows she has motion sickness, so he volunteers to sit next to her right after the seniors graduated. when he can, he stores candies in his pocket to give to her. he never lets her sit by the window and makes sure that the curtains are drawn when she's about to sleep.

it wasn't written, but i was planning on a scene where the second years visited kita's farm and they met their dog. reader has a slight fear of dogs. suna finds this fear a little cute, until she shared why she's scared of them still.

so whenever they walk around and suna hears some barking, he walks by or in front of her to act as her shield. when they dated, he helped her get over her fear of them.

it was mentioned way back, but reader mentioned that she has to buy chunky kitkat for her little brother whenever the second years stopped by a convenience store. he asked if she liked them, to which she replied "i would be lying if i said i didn't". during valentine's, he bought one and planned to give it to her but would always be so shy and insecure that he ended up NEVER giving them.

on their first valentine's as a couple, he shyly handed over the kitkat to her. he keeps doing this even after they get married (hehe)

everything about reader, he stores in his brain.

at random, while he was trying to study, or, actually take down notes (cue gasp) he'd write down stuff that she did. for example, during practice she was humming a jingle, so he wrote down 'sing', or she was talking about oranges with one of her seniors, so he wrote 'oranges' with a badly doodle of her wearing those orange hats.

however, when no one was looking (and there was a snippet of this when she had a laughing fit with osamu), suna would take stolen shots of her. not in a creepy way! just her at her most natural - taking to the coaches, sitting by the benches, writing down on her notes, looking out the window during a bus ride. he practically has a folder of them. however, once he graduated and upgraded his phone, he deleted all the photos, wanting to forget his stupid little crush.

through his first years in EJP Raijin, it was a bit of relief to be free and slowly forget about his crush. sadly, little things would remind him of her: sunflowers, lemon slices, pigtails.

one time, while he was doing groceries, he happened the produce area and sort of froze, remembering that one summer he did a group study with osamu and the rest. without thinking, he purchased a bag of rice, even though he still had some at home.

the rice went to use, because a week later, she was introduced as the intern manager. during break, he awkwardly offered the rice. though surprised, she just laughed it off and accepted it.

the thing with suna, at least for me, is that he remembers. if you're someone special to him, you have a special place in his heart and a library of memories. not only on his mind, but also physically.

when reader moved in with him, it was mentioned in the last part of OLI that they have lots of photos - either of them, with family or friends.

#alicemitch09 writes #i forgot the tags for these ;w;#ive been playing HSR too much ;A;#outsider looking in drabble

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alicemitch09writes · 1 year

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my weekend desk is such a mess, i love it ❤️

#alicemitch09 talks #im writing something

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alicemitch09writes · 2 years

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happy to finally be writing again, but i feel so fcking lazy still. it’s just one fic, but it’s taking FOREVERRRRR.

not to mention, i have to finish my fire emblem: revelations game (i have 3 chapters left, but i’m on a mission to pair the children units) and my one crochet project

lol gemini problems

#alicemitch09 talks #haha #cries #there's also that one sakusa fic that's taking me forever to write #CRIES AGAIN

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alicemitch09writes · 2 years

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ink-stained confessions

Sometime when they started dating, Suna developed a habit.

Leaning his face on his propped hand, he watched the gentle rise and fall of his beloved's chest, a pillow close to her chest, billows of hair across her face and bare shoulders. A peaceful, relaxed look on her face, lost on her was all the stress wrought by reality and consequence of her occupation.

Smiling, he lifts a hand and gently brushes strands of hair away from her face, fingers relishing on the feel of her skin against his.

As a gentle sigh left her mouth, his hand then proceeded to trace her bare shoulders, faintly over the few marks from hours before - he could still hear her, feel her - her elbow, forearm, wrist, before eventually reaching her hands.

Ever so carefully extracting her fingers from the pillow, he brought her hands close to him, inspecting its intricacies, its callouses, the scar on middle finger. Closing his eyes, he presses the gentlest of kisses on each digit, slowly moving to her knuckles, relishing on the warmth, softness, turning her hand over until he reaches her palm, his kiss lingers there the longest.

When he opens his eyes, he is unsurprised to find her still asleep - still lost to the world, lulled in deep by their passionate lovemaking which makes his smirk.

Cursing softly, he switches his hands and turns behind him, blankets rising slightly to slide off his bare chest, to their bedside table, hands blindly grabbing, searching.

At the familiar objected, he lets out a quiet sigh of relief.

Grey-yellow eyes fall again to the sleeping beauty before him - god, how he wanted this image to burn in his brain for all of eternity.

Fixing position into something more comfortable, he takes a bite off the cap, pen tip pressed against her skin.

As a kid, and up until he grew older, he came to hate writing. Kanji, most especially, was a lot to fucking learn.

His whole name was composed of just two and three syllables, yet in the context of writing, it was so damn hard and taxing to spell out.

But ever since she told him of her shodo classes - as dreary, archaic, yet simplistic it was, he couldn't help his view taking a complete 360.

What he was doing was nowhere near hers - as he was obviously using a completely different set of instruments, but he now understood it.

Sure, he didn't have her finesse, her careful rhythm - but in a way, it felt like he embodied all that.

Shodo was a beautiful art as it was a means of communication.

Finishing the last character, he pulls her hand back, admiring his work.

Nothing was more beautiful than this little moment of intimacy brought from strange habits, born from the matters of the heart.

"Rin?" came a sleepy voice, muffled by the sheets.

Capping the pen back, he careless threw it behind him. "Hmm?"

As he felt her hand reached up, running through his back, his hair, he can't help the smile on his face when pools of (e/c) slowly open, lips pulling up tiredly, a soft flush marring her cheeks.

Unaware of his little habits, she would be swallowed by another session of their lovemaking, causing the markings on her skin to wash away from throngs of passion.

Two syllables, two characters.

'Suna' he had written.

And as her hand slowly tighten around his, he can't help but think of the day he shares that name with her.

#alicemitch09 writes #drabbles #outsider looking in drabble #suna rintarou #suna x reader #fem!reader #smut #hq x reader #hq #i feel unoriginal #inarizaki #honest to goodness this bit is inspired by a book #or a scene i thought of #who knows #i was trying to look for a picture to match up but came up with nil #ugh #was also prolly by that scene in 'on your wedding day'#if ur reading the tags i have a surprise fic coming up #hehe

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alicemitch09writes · 2 years

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rewrite the stars

pairing: fushiguro megumi x fem!reader, gojo satoru and reader

summary: oh to be gift with the all seeing eye – to be the beholder of truths, to hold the answers of many, to the possibilities craved! Oh, to be the bearer of it all. woe is the person, to be carrying such burden. a burden so big, for one so fragile and small.

author’s notes: this fic is a long time coming~ also, i was kinda forced to rush to write this prolly unintentionally, who knows but here i am. originally wanted this fic to be a one-shot, but i wrote this particular chapter first because i wanted o explore on sibling relationships :”D

WARNING: This fic is part of a series, so I HIGHLY recommend you lot to start from ‘written in the stars’ otherwise, you’d get confused. You can also check my masterlist, then check under Fushiguro’s tab to check the series order.

also available on ao3.

disclaimer: i own NOTHING but the plot.

By all means, one would feel like absolute royalty – surrounded by riches and glorious, fine works of art. Furniture laid across the room, vibrant paintings and tapestries hung on walls, pots made from the finest jade, a view of a majestic pond with numerous kois swimming about with a beautifully made shushi odoshi that clacked at random, a large bed by the middle of it all, and of course, the finest meals at one’s beck and call handed by servants.

She also was granted the opportunity to ask for anything her heart desires, may it be food, books, jewelries, toys, clothes, they were readily handed to her, or gifted.

Yes, it should be a grand escape, wonderful even to the most everyone.

If it just weren’t for the fact that the person blessed with such was but a young girl, with no proper agency whatsoever, taken against her will and thrusted a role she didn’t even want or had prior knowledge.

What’s more, she wasn’t to step out of her room – ever.

Ironic, she could ask for anything that she wanted except for her freedom.

For the great shamans feared of the world tainting her, defiling their very precious captive.

Kidnapping was also a great possibility, for what sorcerer or shaman alike didn’t want to have a seer in their hands?

This what just what they had hoped for, after so, so, so long – hundreds, maybe thousands of years even?

To have the great seer in their hands.

To them, she was their greatest asset, a monumental instrument to their greatness.

And as young as she was, even she was aware that the place she was in was nothing but an illusion – a beautiful cage, where she’s their captive for their pleasure.

And what good could freedom do to their most prized little Seer?

There were three windows – one had the view of the pond, the other had a grand view of the bamboo thicket that hid her, and the last one, well, it was almost like a door, but it was locked. It was always locked from the outside.

Servants would come by the window and hand her meals.

Most often than not, she would be visited by those strange men with unsettling smiles, unnerving stares – watching her from the outside, as though she were a fascinating piece of ornament to admire.

Other strange men would come by, asking strange questions, questions that she could strangely conjured an answer to.

And some other men, would come by, smelling sour and foul, leering at her, laughing when she tried to hide from them under her covers, cowering, whimpering, pressing her hands against her ears to silence them.

Of all her visitors, she would say that her favorite were the animals. Birds, stray cats, summer beetles, butterflies – they kept her company at her most loneliest.

A shame that she can never keep them, for she knew that those strange men would go mad and have them killed, then forcibly cleanse her, rid her of any foul stench from the outside world.

Some days, she was lucky enough to leave the room – mostly for a bath, cleansings (where she was splashed with water despite still wearing clothes on), and there are those other reasons she hated most.

One time, just shy of a day when she was brought to this strange land, she was brought to a room. Everyone gasped at the sight of her, practically on their knees and reaching for her. Then, they began to chant in strange tongues.

Weeks later, she was taken into a room with beheaded creatures and forced to spend a whole night with them. Dead eyes staring at her. The frightened little girl couldn’t do anything but weep, desperate to leave the room and escape their gaze. But it was for naught. It resulted with the men delighted before letting her go through it again, this time, she tried so hard to brave it and swallow her fears. Yet, it was for naught once more.

Restless nights followed after that, of dead eyes searing into her soul, stenches of rotting bodies and blood filling her nose, the unsettling silence – it all followed her for days and days.

Some days, they would put her in a room with strange, horrifying creatures she’d come to know as curses. They, who feared her cursed energy, would roar at her, letting her ears bleed, or taunt the young girl. Eventually, she found herself being able to rid of them despite no training.

The strange men were infinitely pleased, seeing just how powerful she was aside from just being able to foresee.

Fortunately, there were better days.

A teacher had been assigned to her, to teach her of the ways of the alien land she was now in – the language, the culture, the history, reading charts, bones, ancient texts, the stars, and spells.

Some days, she was left alone – no particular purpose had been set for her just yet, leaving her be.

However, one thing was for sure – they saw great value to her solely for her ability to foresee the future.

Despite how vague they can be, with some sort of guidance, there was at least a hint on how one can properly proceed with the future.

Not once has her foresight ever failed, much to the delight of the strange men.

And when asked to see of her own future, she was harshly met with a void that caused her to wake up a week later.

Fascinating, they would say. Marvelous, even.

Each day, she couldn’t keep up with how rigorous her life had now been.

Being with her mother felt like a lifetime ago, living a quiet peaceful life unaware of what’s in store for her.

Maybe this was her fate – to be a captive to these strange men forever.

She can’t even tell what would be of her, for it was restricted.

Walking up to one of her windows, she held against the bar handles and watched the outside world. What a wonderful world it looked, yet she only knows a tiny portion of it. There must be a greater world out there, a world just filled with so much more that her eyes can handle.

From accidentally reading from the servants, she could see the vibrant world beyond the four corners of her prison – a greater world all around her.

A world that she’ll probably never be able to see.

Pushing herself off the wall, she headed towards the opposite wall, a vase filled with the most vibrant flowers left ignored over a plate full of sweets and some other gifts offered to her.

Folding on to herself, she could only stay there and suffer.

Who knows what was in store for her the next day?

Who knows what she has to go through?

Who was she now, really?

Is this now the point of her existence?

And then, out of nowhere, she felt something.

A pull of something – what was it?

Something was calling her as it was pulling her, she felt her entire being revitalized and yearning for that pull, seeking for it.

Suddenly, someone was outside her prison.

Lifting her head from her folded arms, mismatched eyes – once filled with void and infinite sadness, were now alit with hope and wonder.

Curiosity brimmed at her whole being, at the man standing outside her glided prison.

A man with silver hair – the same silver on the left side of her hair, dressed in all black. But what was most captivating were his eyes – his eyes were an infinite pool of crystal blue, blue like the skies above, like the waters in textbooks and from her little pond, a brilliant blue that rivaled any fine jewels the strange men and strange visitors offered her.

It was the same blue she had on her left eye.

She could see the way his being faltered – at the sight of her, at the building? She didn’t know.

Curiously, she got to her knees and crawled towards the door.

Just when she was about to, though, he effortlessly broke the lock open and let himself in – door wide open than she’s ever seen it.

Long legs easily walked up to her, slowly getting to his knees to meet her.

Curiosity also filled those crystalline eyes of his, threatening to swallow her whole. A sense of wonderment was there, as well. From the corner of his lips came a twitch, breaking to curve his lips upward.

“Hello, there,” came his smooth voice. “what’s your name?”

He had an easy way of speaking, a deep voice that veered towards playful with the way that there was a slight sing-song to it. It almost made her smile.

Very carefully, as she was but a few feet away from him, she looked at him – really looked at him. Twin pools of crystalline blues staring back at her mismatched (e/c) and crystalline blue.

And then, she crawled closer, a sense of warmth and security blanketing over.

Opening her mouth, she tells him her name. “…(Y/N).”

The man smiles wider, one that reached his eyes. “Hiya, (Y/N), I’m your brother.”

It took a while for his little sister to get used to the outside world, after being isolated and kept captive for years. And at a young age, to boot!

Truly, the world was just filled with disgusting scums – the jujutsu society, being of high honors.

With him being the strongest, Gojo Satoru knew he could do away with them easily.

“Are you sure this is your sister? She looks awfully too pure to be related to you,” Shouko kneels down before the younger girl, who hid behind his legs, hands gripping on to his pants.

“You wound me, Shouko!” With one hand, he reached down to put a hand over her (h/c) hair, gently brushing through her locks. “She’s just as adorable as me!”

The other woman rolled her eyes as her reply. Still on her knees, she offered the little a soft smile. “Hello. You’re (Y/N), right?”

Mismatched eyes blinked, hands still on Gojo’s pants. Slowly she nodded.

“What a pretty name you have there,” Suguru comments to which, the little girl smiles, a flush painting the apples of her cheeks, then hid away. The teens laughed at her adorableness.

Still holding on to her brother’s pant, slowly she peeked at the two strangers before her – who were friends of her brother. Their eyes were kind, curious, warm – not uncomfortable, hungry, and scary.

Her hold slackened a bit, and before she knew it, she was hoisted up into her brother’s arms. Wounding her arms around her brother, balling herself in as he took a few steps towards them, leaning into the familiarity that is him.

Suguru, watching from the side, meets her eyes, wearing a soft smile.

It was all it took.

Visions flashed before her eyes – visions of him, strange, strange visions. It came as quickly as it started, blinking rapidly, head turning away before meeting Shouko’s eyes, visions again flashing before her eyes.

Shaken and weakened, she brings her hands to her eyes, she began to wipe at them, a soft whine escaping her throat. At that, Gojo immediately turned to her, extremely alarmed.

“What’s the matter, (Y/N)?” his voice came out soft.

Whining again, she leaned against him, still wiping at her eyes, palms pressing at her sockets.

The two teens before them exchanged glances, Shouko daring to take a step forward only to pause as she noticed blood streaming down the younger girl’s left eye.

“Gojo,” she starts, careful with her next few words. “what-“

“She’s a clairvoyant.” He answers immediately, not meaning to sound rude. “She must’ve read into yours.” The little girl in his arms was still shaken, holding on to him tight, body caved against him, not daring to look at the other two after her brother wiped the blood away.

Her little head moved towards them, before quickly turning it around, pressing against her brother’s chest. “…s-sorry,” she mumbled against his chest, shamefully, voice small. It made his heart ache.

“Don’t be, little (Y/N).” says Suguru, keeping a respectable distance.

“It was an accident, okay? It’s fine,” Shouko adds, voice gentle.

Slowly, she turns to both teens fully, meeting their worried looks, her little face still full of remorse, guilt. “…I-I’m sorry…” she repeats, voice so small, warbled, afraid.

It broke the three teen’s hearts.

Sometime after, the little girl fell asleep in her brother’s arms. Gojo didn’t seem to mind, fixing her position so her head was tucked against his shoulder, running a gentle hand around her back. As his sister slept, he recounted the tip he got about his sister, the state he found her in, what he discovered about her, and a bit on her curse.

Shouko fell silent once he finished speaking, clearly shaken up.

“Must be hard, to be isolated from the rest of the world at such a young age,” his tone drops, expression darkens a bit.

Suguru, on the other hand, had been quiet. His eyes, though, darkened, hands balled into tight fists.

“Don’t worry, I’m the strongest. I’ll take care of her.” He vows, strongly more to himself.

Yaga Masamichi provided as much assistance as he can to the Gojo siblings, especially towards the youngest one. Seeing as she still had struggles adjusting socially, fearing for accidentally reading into people’s futures – her first experience was something, with the poor girl terrified the whole time – he offered her a rather peculiar set of friends. Friends, who she could slowly ease herself to.

Despite the lot being inanimate objects with life infused to them, they were the best friends she could ever ask for. (“Aside from her loving brother, of course!” says Gojo, near bragging)

Instantly, she got along with Panda.

Panda was more than happy to play, learn, and just spend time with her, allowing the girl to lower her guard and enjoy the childhood she was nearly robbed of.

Slowly but surely, she had her guard down.

Not entirely, since she still sticks to her big brother whenever they went out or were in crowded areas.

She easily got along with her brother’s classmates and best friends – Suguru and Shouko.

It took a while, but she also warmed up to her brother’s seniors and juniors.

In a span of a year, her social skills were improving for the better.

And then she was introduced to Fushiguro Megumi.

At first, it was a bit of a struggle, for a boy so blunt just rubbed her brother off the wrong way (for reasons she’ll never know) and accidentally drove her into a coma when he asked her future after reading his first.

Megumi was a very direct boy, not shy to say what needed to be said, supremely realistic. But underneath it all, after she had woken up from her coma to see him by her bedside, found that he was a gentle, kind boy, too.

Eventually, quickly, the two were inseparable.

(Panda remained her first best friend, though.)

Add Tsumiki in the mix, and they made quite the trio!

She really like Tsumiki, liked how she was ready to teach her things, talk to her about pretty things, or share a snack or two.

Deciding that she was finally ready for the real world, (Y/N) was enrolled to Megumi and Tsumiki’s school. It wasn’t all smooth sailing, since she was picked on for being different physically, thankfully, she had Megumi by her side.

With the help of her brother, she was able to manage her clairvoyance by infusing Infinity into the mix. It was hard at first, but she managed.

Despite that, however, it still didn’t stop the bullying she received from her classmates. Sometimes it got really out of hand that she refused to go to school.

And in the end, she got her wish and settled to be homeschooled together with Panda.

As much as he hated it, Megumi really had no choice nor could he persuade her. It only made his need to protect her grow.

Plus, he and Tsumiki had all the more reasons to drop by the Gojo manor now! Since technically, her brother was her guardian, he was her classmate when it came to trainings. It wasn’t all that bad.

Years later, she was introduced to Zen’in Maki, Megumi’s cousin from his paternal side. Initially, she intimidated her greatly with her presence alone. Not soon later, though, she came to admire her strength and tenacity.

Together with Maki, she was introduced to Inumaki Toge from the infamous Speech Curse User clan. Even though she found it hard to talk to him, she later found him reliable with his actions. In addition, she found out that he can speak through sign language, which she forced herself to learn in order to communicate with him better.

And then came Okkotsu Yuuta, a distant relative of hers and her brothers. Immediately, she took a liking to him (even though Rika threatened her every second she was within his radius). In a way, she was just like him. And just like him, she was trying to make do with the second life she was given with. Slowly, they became close (and Rika’s hate towards her diminished).

A lot more people were introduced to her life, and she found herself more and more excited to meet them. Honestly, she couldn’t wait to meet more. And with her limited view of her own future, she knows she’s bound to meet more people.

Yes, she was still apprehensive of people – most especially if they came from a noble jujutsu clan. Yes, she can’t help but read into people’s futures if they seem to scare her. And yes, she gets anxious on her own.

But at least…

She felt a gentle tug, from the pinkie wrapped around hers, coming from the spiky-haired teen beside her. His face, that beautiful face of his, marred with his default expression. It made her laugh.

“Hm?” she turned slightly. “What is it, Megumi?”

His brows furrow, the folds on his forehead reminded her of bread for some reason. “You’re spacing out again,” it came almost as if to scold.

Thinning her lips, she hummed again, swaying their linked pinkies slightly.

“Just have a lot on my mind…”

His brows don’t ease up, those translucent green eyes locked on her.

“Of what?”

Quirking her lips a bit, she tugged at their joined pinkies, leading them both away – from the crowd, the festivities, everything.

“Things!” she laughed, its jovial, melodic tone swept by the wind and into his ears.

As much as he hated her cryptic answer, knowing that it could mean the other thing, for some strange reason – that smile of hers, joy just gleaming off her face, her being, Fushiguro Megumi felt a start in his chest.

…she was free.

“Ne, ne, Megumi,” she tugs at their linked fingers, a candied apple in her hand.

As he was chewing on his own candied apple, he hummed in response.

“Want to go stargazing?”

Swallowing, he frowned again at her. “So you can go off and read?”

Despite his tone, her grin remained. “No, silly! We’ll just stare at the stars!”

Humming, he took a bite out of his candied apple before he felt himself being pulled away. And he let her. Because why wouldn’t he?

Bright dead leaves crunched under their feet, even in the dark, he could make out the vibrancy of each leaves that had fallen earlier that day – or days before. A mark of the new season. Fall.

“Hmm, okay, okay, hmm…oh! Look there, Megumi!”

“What am I looking at,” he grumbles, following at the direction of her sticky finger. At the end of it, he saw nothing – nothing but a blanket of darkness, speckled with stars all over. As bright as they were, Megumi felt wary against them, skeptical even.

Frowning slightly, with her pointed hand, she carefully explains. “Okay, so…look at those four bright ones – big ones! They’re shaped almost like a cross! And theeeeen, just right in the almost middle is a tiny one.”

The young teen had to squint especially hard to find it. And he did. “Ah.”

“You see it?”

“Hm.” He nods.

“Yay!”

All this, as she shows and he follows, with their pinkies still linked together. A few fingers of his found themselves reaching out, intertwining over with hers.

“What’s so special about it?”

“It’s one of the first constellations I discovered,” her voice quiets, mismatched eyes softens. “it’s kind of my favorite, honestly.”

Megumi watches her, larger fingers wrapped around smaller ones. “What’s it called?” he asks, before that glint of darkness dares to cross over.

“It’s called the Southern Cross, or Crux!”

By virtue of her clairvoyance, and the wide range of her divination practices, it was only natural that she be transfixed to the heavens. No matter how arbitrary they may seem to the normal person, a glance was more than enough.

For all the answers she would need, they held them all – however abstract they can be.

“And?”

Regardless of how much he didn’t exactly like its effect of her, he can’t deny her this – can never could even if he tried.

“It was used by navigators to guide them.” Turning to him, she grins, ever so brightly to rival the stars. “It can also be used to guide people home.”

Home.

A bright smile.

Home.

Candied apple.

Home.

A girl with (h/c) hair with a streak of white on her right.

Home.

Fall.

Home.

(Y/N).

Home.

Home?

And then, Fushiguro Megumi woke up.

chapter one of two.

#alicemitch09 writes #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fic #jjk #gojo satoru #gojo!reader #fushiguro megumi #fushiguro megumi x reader

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alicemitch09writes · 2 years

Text

forever person epiphanies

pairing: miya atsumu x fem!reader

summary: A story about Atsumu and his musings about his first true love, his forever person, his ‘the one that got away’.

author’s notes: so here it is, the long awaited atsumu-solo fic. However, it’s not the fic any of y’alls are thinking about. I’ve thought a lot about this, thinking and wondering which angle I should take. I mean, I almost had someone in mind only to be hurt because atsumu couldn’t let go (I’m forever thinking of that one anon’s essay on how atsumu would love). Kinda played with that angle only to stop, because…reasons. Sooooo, this is the end product of me ceaselessly entertaining the idea when I have a lot of other WIPs to worry about whilst battling with writer’s block for some time. Coincidentally, I purposely posted this on the anniversary of '(un)loving miya atsumu'! so, kinda fitting, i guess? hehe (◕ ꒳ ◕✿) IMPORTANT NOTE: This fic is from a series which I HIGHLY suggest you read, or else you'll be left thoroughly confused to the many references mentioned in this fic!

also available on ao3.

disclaimer: i own NOTHING but the plot.

Dear Atsumu,

I hate how much your face is the first thing that comes to mind when I think about the word - ‘happiness’ and ‘love’. Happiness, because it radiates off your bones, no matter the situation, in court when up against strong opponents, thwarting plays with a setter dump or when you’re up serving, or when pulling off nasty quicks with your brother or any other player, off court when you fight with Osamu over the last ice cream at the convenience store, when you share a stupid joke with your dad, or even when you’re with the people you care about. Love, because you do everything with just the right to too much amount of love, pouring your everything in it, pouring your heart in the things that make you happy may it be volleyball, Osamu, your family, Mika- not a single wasted opportunity to convey your love and happiness. Nobody compares the way you do.

You’ve set a standard for almost everything, which is why you expect nothing for the best to be at the receiving end of both happiness and love.

I hope you know that to me; you are the embodiment of both happiness and love. Because I really hate how you remain the embodiment of these two words I have difficulty expressing.

Your name literally translates to 'to devour' and in a sense, you are someone who happily, readily accepts love and happiness on a daily basis, allowing it to fill you up to the core and share it with everyone.

You are everything that is everything – the sun after a stormy day, the sunshine in my veins, the kiss of the wind against my skin, the light to my darkness, my sunflower. You are everything to me, and to you, I offer, my whole heart, which you don’t have to worry returning, because it’s yours. Always has been.

- (Y/N)’s letter, 1 out of 13

For as long as he can remember, there was always that one figure in his life that he wouldn’t trade anything for in the world. His brother was pretty up there, biologically designed to be by his side through thick and thin, whether he likes it or not.

Apart from his annoying twin of a brother, however, came another person, female, small, quiet, stoic, unmoving, unyielding, and had the prettiest shade of (e/c) eyes. Someone who came so unexpectedly in his life, just when the cherry blossom bloom. His one constant.

“GET BACK HERE YOU SCRUB!” 10-year-old Atsumu rages, chasing after his twin.

Osamu easily outpaces him, running in circles for the rest to say. “Get back here you scrub~” he mimicked, raising the pitch of his voice to match his twin’s.

“YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!” yelled the other, nearly tripping on his feet as he took a turn.

“Uweh~”

“SHITTY ‘SAMU, GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!”

“Catch me first~”

“WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU-“

“What are you two doing?” a voice, coming from the entrance door, stops both dead cold.

Turning their head, the twins meet the gaze of their childhood friend and manager, (L/N) (Y/N).

“(Y-Y/N)-chan…” Atsumu started.

Quietly, Osamu skidded off to the side, before stopping as her gaze landed on him. The lad froze on the spot. Expression unchanging, steely (e/c) silently daring him before Osamu stood straighter.

Walking towards them, ever so slowly, the twins fidget on the spot, frozen still until she was standing right in front of them.

“E-Er…”

“W-We…”

Both twins said at the same time, the girl before them just stared, unimpressed, waiting.

On the other side of the gym, the rest of the players watched in awed silence, especially at the (h/c) teen.

“Uwah, (L/N) doesn’t have to say anything…”

“Her gaze speaks plenty enough.”

From the side, a dark-skinned teen smiled, relaxing his shoulders at the sight of the girl.

Aside from being surprisingly reliable at her young age, she also knew just how to handle these twins, keep them in their place, while also supporting them from the sidelines.

“Great job today everyone!”

“Great job!” everyone yelled back, some excitedly especially at the prospect of going home.

“It’s the last day of camp, you guys have any plans?” Aran asks the trio as they head towards the gate.

“Yeah!”

“We’re having a dinner party!”

(Y/N) nods from the side. Excitedly, the twins turn to her. After three steps she adds. “And I’m invited, as it’s a joint family celebration.”

Ojiro hums, eyes widening slightly. “Ah, must be nice to have good food with a family close to you, not to mention, a family friend as well!”

Having known the twins and the young (L/N) for a while now, their relationship has always been a pleasant discovery to find. And to be honest, it’s making him jealous. Looking over at (L/N) quietly making comments at the twins here and there, he smiles to himself. Must be nice to have someone like a friend, ready to watch over and guide you every step of the way.

With just the twins, they must be enough of a force to deal with and because they’re two halves of a whole idiot. Thankfully, there’s (Y/N) who help keep the twins in check. Because while the twins have each other, it’s always nice to have a mediator or someone who can keep the twins in line.

“Well, looks like your ride’s here,” Ojiro nods at the waiting van waiting by the entrance, the driver waving happily at them.

“Ah! It’s uncle!” Atsumu points happily.

“’Tsumu, it’s rude to point!” Osamu rolls his eyes.

Ignoring his twin, Atsumu runs off ahead. “SHOTGUN!”

Not long after, Osamu runs after his twin. “NO FAIR, ‘TSUMU!”

Atsumu’s laugh sounds off in the air, before it turns into curses as Osamu begins to outrun him. While the twins run ahead, Ojiro and (Y/N) were left to their dust, sighing amongst themselves.

“Such energetic rascals.” Ojiro shakes his head.

Beside him, (Y/N) could only press her lips into a tight line.

“Well, guess I’ll probably be seein’ ya guys around, then.”

Nodding, (Y/N) gives a slight bow. “Until we meet again, Aran-san.”

Behind them, the twins stopped arguing amongst themselves, calling out their goodbyes to the older kid.

Unfortunately, Osamu had won the mini race and was seated up front, much to Atsumu’s annoyance.

“Shitty ‘Samu!” he growled under his breath after fastening his seatbelt.

From the front seat, his twin turned on his seat to stick his tongue out to his brother before facing the front, missing the disgusted look on his twin’s face. Beside him, (Y/N) could only watch their little antics with an impassive expression. But from the front seat, looking over the dashboard mirror, her uncle could see the glimmer of emotions flashing from his nieces’ eyes.

“Alright kids, off we go!”

And slowly, they cruised along the road.

Surprisingly enough, Atsumu soon got over his loss, humming along to the latest song playing from the radio. Up front, Osamu started chatting with uncle about the kinds of food waiting for them at home.

Seated behind her uncle, (Y/N) could only blend into the background, looking at the window whilst the boys talk amongst themselves.

“Psst, (Y/N)!”

But then, the boy beside her beckons.

Turning away from the window, she meets honey brown. “I got something for ya!”

Without waiting for another word, he picks his bag from the ground. Music continues to play from the radio, Osamu and her uncle continue talking about heaps of food prepared, ordered, and waiting for the three of them when they get home. Atsumu reaches inside his bag and produces a paper bag in hand. With a smile, he hands it over. “Belated happy birthday!”

It was summer now, and her birthday was last spring – March 23.

Taking the bag in her hands, she meets up to his honey browns again, seeing him fidget in excitement. Returning his excitement, she carefully opens up her gift, (e/c) eyes widening slightly.

“A stationary set?”

“Yeah! Remember we had to make letters for class and do an exchange thing? I got your letter!” her eyes widened for a fraction, fingers smoothing over the papers and envelopes. “You write really good, (Y/N).” Her cheeks start to flush. “Kinda like poetry, even though I’m too dumb to understand any of them.”

Smiling, she stares down at the stationery set in hand. “These are a lot, Atsumu.”

“Ah, well…you know, you can just write stuff up and send it when you want! Emailing’s fun and fast and all, but nothing beats an honest to goodness and heart written letter. It has more heart to it! Plus, you know, you can make a love letter confession to someone you like.”

Her smile grows, exposing her dimples, probably at his wording.

For some reason, Atsumu couldn’t look away from this.

(Later that night, a young girl sits by her study table in the dead of night, her lamp open, big sister sleeping in the background, unaware of what her little sister was up to. In hand, she fingers at the stationary letter set gifted to her earlier that day, unable to erase the smile on her face. Carefully taking one letter and paper, she sets them on her desk, smoothing over the paper neatly. Taking a pen from her holder, she caps it. Staring at the blank paper, the blank paper stares back. Remembering the smiling boy from earlier, her heart feels full. Before she can help herself, she begins writing. Pouring her whole heart into the letter. When she finishes, she starts giggling to herself – careful to keep it down lest she wakes her sister. Lifting the letter, another incredulous giggle escapes her. She really ended up writing one, and so fast, too!

Shaking her head, she sighs before carefully folding and sliding it in the letter. Afterwards, she holds the letter in her hands. Her love letter for Atsumu, remembering his words that she should write her heartfelt letters to someone she likes, breaking into a giggling mess again. With another shake of her head, she sets the stationary set aside and stares again at the letter, wondering what she should do with it. her desk, with stickers added by her older sister, remains open with one box sticking like a sore thumb amongst the rest. Decidedly, she opens the box and stores the letter in, along with the girlish feelings from earlier. Reaching over, she stares at the box longingly for a while thinking deeply to herself.

Maybe one, she thinks to herself. With a sigh, she pushes it to a close.

Or maybe never.)

Dear Miya Atsumu,

We’re now 15 and at the end of middle school. Next year, the three of us – you, Osamu, and I, will be off to Inarizaki High School. It wasn’t my first choice, because I really wanted to go to Nigawa Gakuin because Uncle said it’s a great school to go to. However, when you heard of this you threw a fit and tried to convince me for days to go to Inarizaki with you.

Days , mind you. Days of you convincing me that Inarizaki was just leagues better than Nigawa, that it had better science programs, that it had a better academic curriculum. Also, lest we forget, that Mika, Mom, and Uncle were there! So why should I be any different? Of course, you and Osamu were going there, too!

I thought it was selfish, that you wanted to sway me, and to find that you did not support me.

But then, you also told me that you just couldn’t imagine parting ways with you and Osamu. “It’s three for three,” you’d say, as we spent so many threes together – three years in elementary, three years in middle school, and now three years of high school was waiting for us.

Right then and there, I realized, that I could never say no to you. Neither could I deny that I wanted the same, too. Not just the ‘three for threes’, but because I wanted to stay with you a bit longer. We’re still young, but the future ahead of us is scary and full of mysteries. With what we have now, I thought that going off on my own and starting anew would be best. Boy was I wrong, I still wanted to be with you. And Osamu. And Mom. And Mika. And Uncle.

You have me, Atsumu. You’ll always do.

Tomorrow will be our closing ceremony, marking an end to an era and a start towards a new beginning.

I can’t wait for what tomorrow brings, especially that I’ll face it with you.

- (Y/N)’s letter, 2 out of 13

Intimidating as she was, (L/N) (Y/N) was honestly one of the sweetest, most thoughtful, and kindred souls that the Inarizaki Volleyball Club has ever known and blessed to have as their manager.

Despite having similarities with a certain senior, she was special in her own way.

“One victory at a time,” she says to Riseki during Inter-High, after a failed serve, a soft smile on her face. As though she hadn’t thrown the dirtiest, harshest glare at the Inarizaki stands who booed at the younger boy.

Taken completely by surprise, her words soon instilled a fire within him, perfecting his next serve when he was called up. Unable to hide the proud smile on her face from the benches, right next to their also smiling coaches.

“She’s a miracle worker, that one.” Aran would say, eyes brimming with pride.

The Miya twins – Atsumu, most especially, couldn’t help but agree.

She didn’t earn her moniker of ‘Inarizaki’s Fox Keeper’ for nothing.

Through his years traversing the yearning for volleyball, grueling academics, and just plain, unpredictable life she was the one constant next to his brother, the one person who would always be there for him through thick and thin.

She was also the strongest person he knew – one who chose to support her family at a very young age after a rather traumatic experience, one who chose to grow up so fast just to support her mentally and emotionally vulnerable mother, to be there for her siblings, and strong enough to deal with both him and Osamu just fine for the years she’s been with them. Strong enough, even, to remind him over and over, albeit strictly and far more directly than his own brother, to temper his unsatiable hunger for volleyball and to make sure his ego doesn’t get the best of him.

A girl so strong.

And yet, he broke her. So easily.

He forgot that even diamonds break under pressure.

At the mere mention of her name, practically everyone he knows would associate the words ‘strength’ and ‘responsibility’. She, being the very embodiment of the two words itself.

But not everyone is aware that there was more to it underneath. That even she wasn’t safe from heartbreak.

The cracks that she carefully concealed underneath her fine and seemingly impenetrable surface just chipped away to dust by every pressure breaking through her fine exterior caused by him. No, there was always something about her that seemed way when they were younger. He saw the way she kept her eyes glued to her siblings, almost overbearingly, how she held to her younger brother’s hand up until brother boy insisted he was big enough to go on his own, saw the glare she gave any male who tried to hit on her sweet older sister, or even the interested looks thrown towards both her mother and uncle. Or even that one time she eyed him and his father laughing over a silly joke, almost longingly.

For underneath her carefully concealed exterior was an already fragile and deeply traumatized little girl. She wasn’t perfect, she’s always been broken. She just needed one more little push that would completely destroy her.

And he did that to her.

So easily.

A year.

It took nearly a year of silence, a year of that one absence, a year of blind, childish hatred.

Almost a year and her almost permanently walking away from his life – without his knowledge, to see what he’s done.

When did threes become twos?

When did he start to realize the absence right beside him?

When did his hunger and love for volleyball suddenly became overwhelmed with emptiness?

When did the emptiness start to shake his love for the sport?

When did the absence of that one someone became so greatly felt that it felt like a black hole to his existence?

Walking down the hall, his eyes instantly catch (h/c), walking aimlessly in familiar maroon and white tracksuit. (e/c) eyes were looking straight ahead, but he knows that she has a million things going on in her head.

The sight of her perked him up.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” he called out, rushing towards her.

The teen jumped slightly, turning her head. “Captain,” she greets, holding her clipboard to her chest.

He stops a few feet, eyes greedily taking her in head to toe. “Where’re ya off to?”

“Laundry room.” She replies quickly, tucking wayward strands of hair behind her ear.

“Do you need help with it?”

“No need.” She says with a shake of her head, now holding the clipboard with both hands. “In addition, I already have Asano, since I’m also training her.”

That makes Atsumu smile, entertained by the fact that the club now has two extra helping hands. “That’s nice. What a reliable senpai you are, huh, (Y/N)?”

Her mouth twitches a bit from his words. Usually, her eyes would be filled with warmth when she knows he’s up to no good – as is his default phase. But now, they’re just…blank. Almost wary, confused, scared.

“Well,” she drops her gaze. “if that’s all-“

“Wait!” he stops her, just as she took a step. Those (e/c) eyes land on him in question. He swallows thickly. “D-Do you have to go so soon?” he takes a step. “P-Practice doesn’t start in a while.”

“I’m aware. But you must know that a manager’s work extends even beyond practices. We do logistical work, as well.” Atsumu swallows thickly once more, especially at her clipped tone. “I have to see to it that everything’s in order to lessen any burdens that may waste precious time.”

Unable to help it, Atsumu smiles.

She always had to see things through, had a plan for almost everything and wanted to make sure that absolutely nothing went to waste.

She almost always looks like this – looking like she’s the most collected teen you’ll ever meet, only to find that underneath it all, she’s not fine at all.

Not one bit.

Lifting her wrist, (Y/N) pulls on her sleeve to read the time on her watch, muttering under her breath.

“Well, Captain, I guess I should take my leave now.”

Bobbing her head, she turns and leaves when a hand on her wrist stops her halfway.

She had a visceral reaction – pulling her hand away, putting a distance between them. It reminded him very much of middle school, when they came across her dad. Except she didn’t have that burning hate in her eyes.

“(Y-Y/N)?”

His hand was still raised in the air, could still feel how she jumped at his touch before violently pulling away.

Just confusion and…fear.

Her reaction stung, like a stab to the heart.

Shaking her head, an almost pained look on her face as she held her hand against her chest. “I just…it’s just…” lowering her head, she swallowed hard. “I never forgot that you hate me.” That stopped him cold.

Clearing her throat, she held her clipboard with both hands. “I apologize if I overreacted. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

Silenced by her words, he could only watch. The silence seemed to generate some sort of reaction to her, because she turned her head to him curiously, as though her words from earlier meant nothing. “Don’t you hate me?”

He sputtered. “W-Wha…?”

“I mean, after last year, it was clear that you hated me.”

Atsumu also came to a horrible realization: he may be on a high from the realization for all his faults, but she just was numbed by the pain. Her heart is tired, from everything that had to do with him, tired of loving him.

He forgot how fragile the human heart was, especially a woman’s heart.

Do you know how it felt to see the strongest person you know fall apart because of you? Unknowing of the inner turmoil they’ve had to deal with all their life, only to have you – their best friend, their first love, amplify the hurt and pain they’re going through?

Honestly, Atsumu couldn’t believe how much of an asshole he really was.

He was a lot of things, but an asshole? A heartless asshole? That was really something.

And what made it worse was the fact that despite all the pain he caused her, (Y/N) was acting like it was nothing to her, had to forcibly pull herself together in order to manage the team, seeing her hurt as her own fault – never had he felt so ashamed of himself.

“Well, I don’t!” he tells her, voice cracking. “I don’t, okay?” He repeats.

But his actions from last year said otherwise.

Before he could say anymore, Asano appeared, jumping at the sight of the two of them, as though she intruded into something. Quietly apologizing under her breath, she was just about to leave before (Y/N) reassured her, excused herself to him, and left with Asano in tow.

I want to say that I know you better than anyone else – anyone ever would and could. I probably know you better than you think.

I know this, because you’ve hurt me the most.

Hurt me in ways I never thought you would.

- Excerpt from letter 5 out of 13

The next time Atsumu saw (Y/N), she was dragging two trash cans in hand along the hallway. Something about seeing her like this, even outside practice hours, in her neatly pressed school uniform in lieu of her tracks, was not unusual to find but a sort of norm he found weirdly relaxing. That being said, seeing her carrying two loads of trash by herself angered him.

Mondays were usually the off days, as far as he knew (or heard from Osamu) it would usually be the day she offered to do class duties – taking out the trash, for one.

Steeling himself, he casually walks up to her, grabbing the can carrying the perishable trash.

“Here, let me give you a hand, (Y/N)!” he says with a smile, a wayward greeting.

He watches closely with bated breath at her reaction, response – everything. It took a while, seeing that he’s cut her off her deep trance, only to be disappointed at how guarded she became at the sight of her.

“Miya-san,” she greets with a slight nod.

Honestly, he doesn’t blame her after all the shit he put her through.

Remnants of glaze from her deep thinking slowly faded in those eyes of hers, he wondered what she was thinking about before he chimed in. Though, he doubts she would even tell him.

“What were ya thinking about?” And yet, he found himself asking anyway.

Seeing as the blond-dyed teen takes the other trash can in hand, and with ease, she resigns to lift the can on hand.

“…just about the kind of drills we should do with the new recruits,” decidedly, she tells him.

Humming, he adjusts the can slightly, comforted instantly by her response. “So, you’re tweaking the stuff we usually do?”

“Maybe, considering that we mostly have to work on defense now that Akagi-san has graduated. We might have weakened our offense a bit with Aran-san having graduated, as well, but we still have Ginjima, Suna, and Osamu…and you.”

Smiling at this, the two carefully turn towards the stairs. “Need help with the drills?”

“No need, I can always approach either Coach Kurosu or Coach Oomi.”

“Yeah, but as captain, I should at least share my input as well! Not to mention, I also wanna get involved with my team and all.”

Safely reaching the ground floor, (Y/N) seems to contemplate on his words for a second, nodding then. “Alright, that can be arranged. I will be meeting with both coaches tomorrow, since we’re technically still supposed to be resting today. I shall be updating you before practice, Miya-san.”

Miya-san. Captain. It stings to hear it from her, especially with such a clipped tone.

“Ah, by the way, (Y/N),” she looks up, just as she emptied out the can. “are you on cleaning duty today?”

“Yes.”

A certain memory pops up in his head, causing him to frown and explain his tone. “Do you need help?”

At the back of his head, he could still see a lone person sweeping the floors, arranging the desks, and such all by her lonesome. A younger, smaller version of the same person in front of her.

His offer gives her pause, until she gives a faint shake of her head. “There’s no need for that, there are others who are cleaning as well. I just volunteered to take the trash out.”

Relieved, he relaxes his shoulders. Then he says that he’ll walk her back to her classroom.

“That’s really unnecessary- “

“Psh, no worries (Y/N)! It’s just a few walks anyway~” he smiles. “Plus, I need the exercise!”

Despite this, she remains unyielding to even his best smile, at his sincerest. Practically forcing the other bin from his hands into hers, plastering a thin smile as she walks ahead.

“Thank you for your help, Miya-san. I’ll be updating you sometime this week.” With a bow, she turns and leaves, taking the two trashcans in hand. All while Atsumu watches.

So this is the reality he has made.

Dear Atsumu,

Sometimes I wish you could see how much I love you

I like you, and not just in a friend-way

Do you even realize how much hold you have on me

Sometimes, I wish I could hate you. I really do. Because sometimes, you’re really selfish. And prideful. And annoying. And superlatively childish that the noun itself seems like an insult to how you’ve become now.

Who am I kidding, of course you’re like this because you’re nothing more than a child. A child built into a six-foot-something build with a brain filled with nothing but idiotic things and self-fulfilling thoughts to boost your fragile ego.

Your name reads ‘to eat’ and wow, did you fucking eat a great load that you’ve shat upon everything and anything that came in your way.

I can’t believe this is the person you’ve become. You know what you’ve become? You’ve turned into my dad-

- Excerpt from letter 10 of 13, unfinished and with parts stained with dried tears, the edges crumpled

When the time came for the inevitable, that is life after high school, the three of them knew that their threes would now have to part.

Osamu in Kobe.

Atsumu in Osaka.

(Y/N) in Hiroshima.

Who knew that their unbreakable bond would come to this?

But even with the distance, even after an amicable rejection, Atsumu knew deep down in his heart that he would never ever forget his first love. He’ll accept that they can never be anything but friends, after shattering her fragile being. He’ll take it, so long as he could remained tethered to her in some way.

(Y/N) though, bless her soul, still found it in her heart to forgive him.

More than anything, he feels as though she should put him a tier together with her shitty father.

But she didn’t, that’s not her.

Having that knowledge alone was enough for him, made him love her even more.

Even though he was fine with them just being friends, Atsumu just can’t seem to shake away the feelings he has for (Y/N). As expected, he seeks her out when he can, excitedly talks to her, video calls (even though she’ll just be studying, he was fine with it, just watching her).

On the chance that both he and her would come home for Obon or special holidays, the feelings he had for her just seemed to build up. In fact, the more they interacted – both online and offline.

The feelings he had just couldn’t nor wouldn’t give up.

No matter what, they just couldn’t stop.

It was enough to make him feel guilty, for everything he did to her.

Had he been a better person then, he could have had her with him, be with him, love him just as she’s always had for years and years, and yet all he did was take said love of hers and walk over it.

On the morning of his first day at MSBY Black Jackals, he received a text from (Y/N). When he opened it, it was a selfie of her with a raised fist with the Peace Bell behind her. Following her selfie was a text that read, “I know you don’t need it, but I still prayed for the success of your professional athletics life. Welcome to the first day of your new life! You got this and I believe in you! Fighting!”

Fuck, he really can’t lie to himself, can he?

Atsumu stares at the photo of (Y/N), his (Y/N), eyes tracing the curve of her smile, the dents on her cheeks, at the flush on her cheeks.

Unconsciously, his expression began to soften, mirroring the smile he was looking at. Looking over the text, he reread it over and over, practically reading it in her voice.

Fingers began tapping for a quick reply before pocketing his phone. Feeling lighter, energized, he stares out his window contemplating on breakfast or a jog first. Eventually, he goes with the latter.

‘Thank you, (Y/N)! Chat with ya later!’

I want to say that it doesn’t hurt: hearing you go on and on how perfect my sister is, how beautiful she was, how amazing she was at soccer, or how she seems to brighten up your day just by the mere thought of her. Trust me, I know. I know my sister’s the best person out there - any guy would be lucky enough to date her. I just don’t want that someone to be you.

And yet, what can I do?

How are you blind to see that I’m right here? I won’t be as perfect, pretty, amazing, or bright as Mika, but I can try-

- Excerpt from letter 6 out of 13

One photo.

All it took was one photo and Atsumu felt his heart break.

For all the video calls, chats, and text messages, it took just a photo and of Suna, himself, to confirm that he and (Y/N) were dating. And somehow, for some reason, Atsumu couldn’t find it in himself to feel betrayed. Even his own brother didn’t know that the two had been dating!

It just caught him completely by surprise, is all.

Right after the reunion lunch, greeting Kita-san again a ‘happy birthday’, Atsumu later received a text from his twin inviting him out. Atsumu willingly complied.

As it turns out, Osamu has a higher tolerance of alcohol, Atsumu doesn’t, but he kept ordering drink after drink anyway. At first, the younger twin tried to shoot down Atsumu’s calls for another beer, growing increasingly annoying by the minute.

The older of the twins couldn’t help it though, beer – for all its disgusting first sip, was pretty addicting. Plus, it helped loosened him up after a rather hectic day!

So, Osamu just let him. Happily thinking that he won the bout on alcohol tolerance, and the fact that his brother would be the with a terrible hangover the next day.

Sliding over a new glass of beer, probably his fifth one, Atsumu just stared at it – at the bubbly, inviting golden liquor. The bubbles, for some reason, reminded him of (Y/N).

Why was that?

Oh right, she wore a white summer dress. She looked real pretty in it, like an angel. A really pretty, little angel.

And her smile?

The smile she had on?

Wow.

It just brightened her whole features, bringing the light casted by the moon to shame.

Even though they were miles way, with time stretching past the years, (Y/N) never left his mind. She’d linger at the back of his mind, whenever it wasn’t just about volleyball. At the end of the day, he was always left wondering what she was up to. When his mind tends to wonder, when questions come around, just the thought of her was enough to dispel it all and bring him to the surface.

Bringing the glass close, he held just the bottom, index finger running over the condensed glass. Carefully, his hands gripped on, bringing it to his mouth. Momentarily, as his view turned yellow, the curve of the glass somehow reminded him of the curve of (Y/N)’s smile, how it exposed the dents on her cheeks, the condensation seemed to allude of the time he made her cry.

Putting down his glass, he let out a breath.

Atsumu, who absolutely hated losing without a fight, knew this was the one thing he had to lose.

Through his muzzled mind, he could see her clearly – (Y/N), looking so beautiful dressed in white, smiling so radiantly, standing between Suna’s legs and arms.

Eventually, drunk, Atsumu broke down. “…I-I” he hiccups, voice trembling. “loved her, ‘Samu…” another hiccup, followed by a sniffle “I loved her.”

Osamu didn’t have to ask who, watching his brother with sad eyes.

“I really loved her…!” he hiccups again, strongly that he flinched.

Snot began dripping down his nose, tears rushing, too.

“I…” sniffles “…I didn’t know wha’ I 'ad…'til…it was…” taking an inhale, his voice becomes a shaky, miserable breath. “gone.”

Sighing, Osamu patted his brother’s shoulder. An unbecoming sight this was, heartbreaking to witness firsthand. Especially from someone who seems like such an ass, who’s all-high and mighty, a dumb perfectionist, condescending – all for the right and wrong reasons.

Atsumu leaned against the younger twin, crying softly. Osamu let him, uncaring that he was going to be covered in snot and tears.

“I-I loved her so much, ‘Samu!”

“…I know, 'Tsumu, I know.”

But it was already too late.

It pains me to know that you’re hopelessly in love with my sister. I mean, I can’t blame you – in every sense of the word, in every angle you look at, Mika’s perfect. And who am I? merely a shadow, an afterthought, a somebody next to her.

Sometimes, I wish you looked at me the same way you looked at her.

Sometimes, I wish I was the reason behind the shine in your eyes, the skip in your beat, the reason why you want to do more than just feed the hunger in you.

But this isn’t about me, this is about you.

You love two different things very differently.

I know your love for volleyball runs deep, but your love for Mika? Who knows how deep that pool is.

It just pains me to know how well I know you, how I’m right here, yet you chos-

- Excerpt from letter 9 out of 13

Japan National Team.

He made it.

He really did!

And he wasn’t alone!

Shoyo-kun, Bokkun, Omi, Aran-kun, Suna, and (Y/N), most especially!

When his manager broke out the news to him, his heart was filled with so much joy and happiness, ready to burst then and there.

It meant so much to him, to finally achieve his dream and go to greater heights.

Most especially, he had two of the most important people with him from his childhood – Aran and (Y/N).

(Y/N).

His breath hitched in his throat at her familiar frame, felt his whole being light up.

“(Y/N)!!!!!” he yelled excitedly, running towards her with his arms wide open.

Before she could fully face him, he had already engulfed her into a hug, lifting and twirling her around, laughing.

“Atsumu!” she laughed with him as she held on to him with her dear life.

“You’re here!!!!” he beams up at her, taking her in.

Without his twin next to him playing pro, he felt like half a person. Even when he was assured that this was his chosen happiness, just as culinary was Osamu’s, it didn’t mean it was any less lonely. Practically his whole life, it’s always been him and Osamu together. Veering off to their own paths of happiness was such an intimidating and scary journey.

Sure, he’s made friends here and there, but nothing can ever compete to the bond he has with his brother.

Well, almost nothing with (Y/N).

She, who was one of the most important people in his life.

She, who was also part of the equation of making his life’s journey in less lonely, boring, and a lot more worthwhile.

“I’m so happy you’re here!”

Even with her hair all over the place, from him twirling them around, watching her smooth it away from her face, wearing that smile he’s known his whole life, Atsumu just feels his heart settle and calm.

“While this reunion is grand and dandy, can you please put my girlfriend down?” says a voice, belonging to his high school teammate, Suna.

“Ah, right.”

Gently, he sets her down, watching as she rights her shirt and hair. Suna then walks towards her, his large hand engulfing in her small ones.

Despite everything that happened a year ago, Atsumu worked himself to be as civil as possible for (Y/N)’s sake. Amidst the amicable atmosphere of their reunion, there was still that tension between them.

“Hey, you’re all here!” another voice calls, rather cheerily.

The three turns, two of them have their faces split into huge grins.

“Aran-kun!”

“Aran-san!”

Said man grins ear to ear, walking in with his arms wide open to hug both him and (Y/N). Suna, not one for hugs, quietly pulled away, wore a smile as he watched the three, phone out to record the scene.

“Aran-san, are you crying?”

“HUSH, (Y/N)! DON’T RUIN THE MOMENT!”

“WAH, ARAN-KUN, YOU’LL MAKE ME CRY, TOO!”

Just like that, Atsumu feels like he’s starting volleyball all over again.

Even if his brother wasn’t there with them, it still feels like a part of him was with them.

…And then Hinata came barreling towards them, specifically at (Y/N) for a hug.

“I can’t believe they managed to get you, too!” He says to (Y/N) after their little meeting with the rest of the other members of Japan National Team. There were definitely a lot of promising players this year. And staff, too! In fact, practically half of the team and staff were comprised of promising youths!

They were all currently resting at the lounge area, relaxing, and catching up. Groups were split into smaller groups, enough for the athletes to get to know their fellow teammates or be acquainted with them.

“Me, either to be honest.” Settled in her seat, she props her arms on the table, leaning against it as a bright smile fills her pretty face.

(Y/N).

His (Y/N) was going to be on his national’s journey with him as one of the managers and as their local sports psychologist.

It still feels so surreal.

While he greatly respects and admires MSBY Black Jackals’ own team manager, there was just something in (Y/N)’s work ethic that he was so used to and found great comfort in. After all, she’s been a key integral part to his volleyball career spanning all the way since they first met, when she commented on his hunger as an astute observation to his name, has been there with him all this time. Or it might as well have to do with his familiarity with her.

“Well, she was greatly endorsed by the coach and Murase-san,” Suna comments, pride in his usually lackadaisical tone, an arm was wrapped around (Y/N)’s waist. “Of course, not to mention the fact that she used to the manager of one of the greatest high school volleyball team, and a powerhouse at that, too.”

Rolling her eyes, she playfully swats Suna’s face.

“It was by luck that I was accepted.”

“Probably helps that you also have a Psychology minor, too!”

“Lord knows we need psychological help, seeing as we have the ‘Generation of Monsters’ on our roster.” Ojiro mutters, already feeling the weight of the role assigned to him.

(Y/N) frowns slightly. “Seriously, who is coming up with these names?”

They laugh at that.

“Well, maybe now they’ll change your nickname to ‘Ryujin Nippon’s Guardian’!” Atsumu teases.

“I have a moniker already!?”

They laugh again, much to her chagrin.

You once asked me why I was scared around dogs and I told you of the time back in Miyagi, about the one dog I actually liked. My dad used to have this big dog. I think it was a bully, but I liked him very much and his name was Goji. His full name was Godzilla, but my sister complained how ugly it was hence, Goji. I loved that dog very much, would pet him every chance I got before and after school, would feed him when I had the chance.

But then, everything changed when I found out that Goji, sweet, wonderful, big boy, Goji, wasn’t even our dog to begin with.

My dad had put up a front that he was to keep Goji with us for a while, because Goji was actually his mistress’ dog.

I was so crushed when he told me. Mika never knew about this, though.

One day, I was out to feed Goji when he was seemed…off.

Turns out, he was actually quite rabid and my dad forgot to give him his shots.

But Goji seemed like someone had provoked him. And true enough, one of the neighbor kids were throwing rocks at him.

Angry, Goji barked and barked at the kids, who yelped and ran off upon realizing just how dangerous a big dog could be.

I, too, yelped. In fact, I was frozen in fear, for I had never heard this sweet, big boy bark so angrily in the months that I knew him.

He never stopped barking, even when I was there to give him food.

And since then, I stopped going to him.

Eventually, my dad had to give him back.

Mika cried. I cried.

But I never got angry Goji out of my head.

How a sweet face can twist and turn, how gentle marbles can be filled with so much anger and hatred.

Never realized how scary dogs could actually be.

And that was it.

Osamu had said something in the lines of ‘stupid buncha kids’. And you probably agreed with him then.

But I will never forget, that ever since I told you two of my fear of dogs, how you would always shield me from them, how you’d puff your chest as if to tell all the dogs that you were the alpha.

Funny as it was, you were so cool for it, Atsumu.

You were my hero.

Always have.

- Excerpt from letter 4 out of 13

As much as it killed him to know that (Y/N) was with Suna, he knew he had no say in their relationship. What can he do, anyway? Nothing. All he can do is support them.

Through Suna’s socials, he can see how in love the two were, how Suna cherished every moment spent with her, how (Y/N) loved him back through her scarce posts in her own social media.

He hated to admit it, but he kept in touch with Suna’s activities in social media just to see how the two were, seeing (Y/N) in a bliss through his ex-teammate’s eyes.

Sometimes, he overworked himself during training just to keep his focus, to keep his mind off things. Volleyball was a wonderful distraction. Then came hang outs with his other teammates. He made sure to keep in touch with his Ma and Pa, Osamu, some of the Inarizaki friends he’s made, (Y/N). Then meddling with Sakusa’s lovelife, Osamu’s, Ginjima’s – wow, what a way to rub it in how single he was, universe!

On the days he, Bokkun, and Shoyo-kun (with the special participation of one equally nosy cousin all the way from Hiroshima) would butt into Sakusa’s love life was definitely one for the books, he’d say. For there was no greater joy in seeing this prickly, seaweed-haired, weasel tumble over someone. AND THEIR OWN MANAGER, TO BOOT!

Truly, it was a fun distraction.

As fun as it was though, distractions don’t really last long.

Still, life with MSBY Black Jackals was a lot of fun!

Not once has he ever doubted his chosen happiness, the one path he’s been set on since he witnessed how fun being a setter was. More than anything, this is what he wanted, this path was where he knew he’d be happiest.

It’s just that it gets a bit lonely on the way.

Sure, he tried a relationship here and there, but they never got to last for too long.

Because in all those relationships, something just felt missing, making said relationship half-assed. He couldn’t blame the girls, because it was on him.

Honestly, it sucked that he could date as much girls as he wants and yet feel that emptiness within him.

One night, just days after his last breakup, his phone rang.

He didn’t bother to pick up, just letting the ring resound in his room.

He thought that would be it, but then his phone rang again. And again. And again. And again.

Six times.

It was probably Osamu, he thought.

Lazily, he reached for his phone, sliding his thumb across the screen without looking and instinctively pressed to loudspeaker.

“Atsumu?”

Of course, he knew what was missing in all those failed relationships.

They weren’t her.

“…hey, (Y/N),” he sounded so lame.

There will always be that missing piece, one he’ll be desperately trying to find long after he’s broken the heart of his first love.

Until he can find his one true pair, Atsumu can only settle for what he can get – anything as close as the feelings he’s had with her.

There was really no other woman like (Y/N) in the world.

Even though they were miles away, she always could sense if something was up with him, always made sure to text, call, or lend her time. Even when she was dating Suna!

Suna was really lucky to have her.

But then, something happened.

For some reason, when Atsumu woke up today, something in his gut told him something was up. Breakfast tasted great as always, his morning jogs had him pumping while the latest top hit played on his earphones, on the way to work, he even met up with his manager – WITH SAKUSA ON THE PASSENGER SEAT! and had a grand time teasing the heck outta him until they reached the gym. Despite all this, in the next few hours during training, the feeling he felt that morning gnawed at him hard. It kept at him all day.

Alarms were sounding off in his head, but he didn’t know what it was about.

It wasn’t until he called up Osamu, and as though the theories about twin telepathies were true. And true enough, something was wrong.

Without hesitation, Atsumu took off and took the first train to Hiroshima, filled with absolute worry for (Y/N), sending her text after text. With no reply, he felt his anxiety spike up, wishing the train to go faster. Granting, the train ride from Higashiosaka to Hiroshima took all of two hours and thirty minutes felt like a lifetime. Bouncing on the balls of his feet, the six-foot-something athlete practically dashed out the train once the doors opened, pulling his phone out to read out the address Komori sent him.

Lungs burning from the run, he finally reached their apartment building when he saw Suna.

At the sight of him, his blood boiled, something in him snapped – Atsumu saw red.

“SUNA, YOU SON OF A BITCH!” he yelled, his fist slamming against Suna’s jaw. Suna stumbles back a few paces.

“ATSUMU!” (Y/N) screamed.

Staggering, the taller man lifted his arm, keeping (Y/N) back.

“HOW DARE YOU!”

“Atsumu-“ Suna tried, only to be shoved back harshly.

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF HER!”

“Atsu-“ “YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER THAN I WAS!”

Suna kept his head low, taking in Atsumu’s words, letting him grab him by the collar.

“YOU DARE MAKE HER CRY?” he seethes into his face, glaring hotly at him. “YOU FUCKING DID THAT, HUH, SUNA!?”

With Suna’s head still down low, unresponsive to his words, it boiled Atsumu’s blood even more. Pulling his hand back, Atsumu was just about ready for another punch when a sob broke sounded off, stopping him cold.

“Atsumu, please…!” turning his head, he was met with a heartbreaking sight, a sight he never wanted to see after middle school. (Y/N) with her already swollen eyes, tears spilling uncontrollably. “P-Please, stop.” Her voice was barely a whisper, watery, begging.

How the sight made him weak, his grip on Suna slacking, taking a step back. Not a second later, (Y/N) rushes up to Suna, (e/c) eyes searching all over him worriedly. Suna, on the other hand, quietly soaks up her worry, leaning his face against her touch. An intimate moment Atsumu felt like he was horribly intruding.

“(Y/N)-chan?” a middle-aged man approached, concerned at the group. “I-Is everything alright? What’s happening?”

It was pretty dark out, just a few people lingered around the area. Still, they created quite a scene.

Hiccupping, (Y/N) wiped her eyes. “Y-Yachan,” composing herself, she shook her head. “T-Thank you for your concern but please don’t worry, this is just a misunderstanding.”

Despite her tone, the older man nodded, staring back at the group – particularly at Atsumu, in worry. “Are you sure, dear?”

She nodded, lips pressing firmly against each other, struggling to swallow down a sob lest she breaks down again.

Silently, the three of them made their way into the building, Atsumu still fuming mad, Suna unable to raise his head in shame with his hand wrapped tightly around (Y/N)’s, who was struggling to keep herself from crying again.

Upon reaching their home, (Y/N) quietly takes out her keys, shakily slots in it, and they walk in.

Atsumu, unable to keep his angered gaze on Suna, pride swelling at the sight of his bruised cheek. His knuckles hurt, itching only to punch Suna in the face had he not remembered (Y/N).

(Y/N), whom he hasn’t seen crying since graduation.

(Y/N), the most fragile person he wanted to protect even from miles away.

(Y/N), who was crying and pouring her heart out for Suna.

Somehow, that knowledge hurt him – continues to hurt him.

(Y/N), who talks to Suna in a hushed whisper, about something he didn’t catch, before Suna nods, pressing their foreheads together, presses a quick kiss on her lips, before disappearing into one of the rooms.

Now alone, with Atsumu at the entryway, (Y/N) keeps her arms around herself, slowly looking over her shoulder to meet his gaze. “C-Come in…”

And he does, slipping on some guest slippers he found.

“Do you want something to drink?” she asks, mostly out of courtesy. “Water? Tea?”

Seeing as she was now, evident by her shaky voice, he knew she was in no state to heat up a kettle for herself.

“(Y/N),” he starts. She doesn’t say anything, her hands had gone limp around her.

“(Y/N),” he tries again, taking a step.

“You didn’t have to hurt him, Atsumu…” her voice was weak, wet, and warbled. “He was already hurting…”

“But he hurt you, too.” He argues, frowning.

“I know,” she nods weakly, falling quiet for a while. “…but we’re working on it, as all relationships do.”

Just the sight of her looking as though she could break any second was torture. She looks so small in this light, as though she were ready to collapse any time. And yet, at the same time, she seems so steadfast, so determined.

Making his way towards her, his honey brown eyes searching, finding, meeting her wet (e/c) eyes.

For as long as he can remember, her eyes were always either carefully blank, guarded – being the most emotionally stunted and guarded person he’s ever known his whole life. When it came to matters of the heart, that was the only time her eyes reflected her emotions tenfold. It’s why he was so shocked at her outburst during the incident, why he never forgot how distraught she looked back in middle school (it being the very first time since he knew her that he ever saw her cry).

Or how she looks like she’s still willing to fight on despite everything, how her (e/c) eyes still burn with determination to fix things.

Crying just never seemed to suit her.

However, humans were capable of crying if it were caused by extreme emotions – such as anger, sadness, grief, and even…

“You really love him, huh?”

Biting her lip, she nods again. A whimper trapped in her throat.

Love.

Atsumu feels something inside him crumble. What can he do with that, now?

Simple.

Without a word, he takes her in his arms, like all those years ago.

For someone so small, she sure was capable of holding so much love and hurt. It never ceases to amaze him how wonderful it feels to have her in his arms, how painful it was to know that she was hurting. Yet, he pushed all those aside in favor of just wanting to wash her pain.

“I’m not sorry I punched him, (Y/N).” he whispers, rubbing comforting circles on her back, uncaring that his shirt was starting to get wet. “Osamu and I did promise that we’d beat that fucker’s ass if he ever dared to make you cry.”

He could have sworn she laughed a bit, he couldn’t tell, but it was something in the least.

Just like this, he could close his eyes and pretend that everything was alright. That she was free from pain, that she wasn’t suffering. And selfishly? While in these few moments he could pretend that she was his, that these tears shed were all for him.

A shuffle cuts them of their moment, releasing (Y/N) as the two find Suna emerging from the toilet, with a first aid kit in hand. Unable to help himself, Atsumu feels his blood boil all over again, the bruise on Suna’s face doing very little to ease him.

Sensing his anger, he feels a squeeze on his forearm.

Ushering her boyfriend to sit down, she does the same to Atsumu. While she begins to clean up her boyfriend’s face, they began talking.

Suna starts off then confesses to everything – his deepest insecurities, with the fact that he could never compete with Atsumu, how it got so bad and deep that it blinded him, drove him nearly to madness and lead to where they were now.

The revelation was much as a shock to Atsumu more than anything.

When Suna was done speaking it was the same time (Y/N) was done patching him up, immediately his hands reached for (Y/N)’s, threading their fingers together. (Y/N)’s expression very nearly crumpled, leaning her head against her boyfriend’s shoulder, to which Suna gently pressed a kiss on her crown.

Honey-brown eyes landed on his ex-teammate’s frame, the tall, unassuming, nonchalant, deadpan, quiet, and sarcastic man before him, feared and hated for his extremely sharp game sense, his unique spikes, and his ability to manipulate blockers, seemed so…vulnerable, hollow, a shell of his own being.

For some reason, it felt like he was staring at someone similar.

Just then, he feels his phone ringing. Picking up, he unlocks it without looking, only to hear Osamu’s voice: “Put me on speaker. I need to talk to this asshole.”

And that’s how the rest of the night goes: the twins confronting Suna, with (Y/N) listening in. Suna, having to confess again everything.

In the end, all was forgiven.

Not that easily, but it was a start with Atsumu punching Suna and Osamu’s threats over the phone.

And because Atsumu came to Hiroshima on a whim, he slept in the guest room, needing to borrow Suna’s clothes for sleep much to his chagrin.

He couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t shake off all that’s happened today. He and Osamu exchanged a few texts, he also texted Coach Samson, his manager, and his captain about his sudden leave. Bokuto, Hinata, too, who had seen him rush out the gym.

Atsumu had a fitful night’s worth of sleep.

When he walked out of his borrowed room, he takes in Suna and (Y/N)’s shared apartment. Considering a professional athlete’s wage, it was no surprise that Suna would choose something so spacious. For the most part, the whole place was cleaner than he expected, maximized a lot of space, and had a dose of Suna’s love for video games, shows, and movies with the occasional posters here and there. With (Y/N) around, he figured that she might’ve contributed to the organization in a sense.

With all the excitement from last night, he didn’t bother or hadn’t really taken a proper look at the place. His eyes roamed around from the half-drawn curtains from their balcony window, simple yet modern pieces of furniture, some photos displayed on the shelves, Atsumu was awed by it all before he was greeted by the sight of pillows and blankets on the sofa from the reflection of their large screen television.

Hearing movement, Atsumu followed the sound to find Suna Rintarou rummaging through the cupboards in the kitchen. It was a sight to behold alright, then again, he didn’t really know much about the guy after high school. After finding out that he’s been dating (Y/N), everything just blanked out.

“Oh, um…hey,” came Suna’s greeting, bags underneath his bloodshot eyes, his hair was unkempt.

The shiner was in its full glory, a reminder of last night.

Nodding in return, Atsumu pockets his hand, eyeing the set up in the living room. “You slept here?”

Suna was quiet for a while, giving him a blank stare, then at the ingredients he laid out on the counter. Eventually, he hums in response. “After what happened,” his one hand balls into fists against the counter. “after I nearly broke up with (Y/N), I couldn’t…I can’t be by her side…”

Suna’s said as much as he can from last night, how he had spiraled so much that it lead to him wanting to break up with one of the best women he’s ever known. Still, Atsumu couldn’t help the anger broiling inside him.

“Is she still asleep?” Atsumu asks in one exhale, eyeing one of the doors, wondering which one was hers. Or theirs.

“Yeah. I…” Atsumu turns back to him. “I checked up on her earlier. She’s sleeping like a log,” the two smile at that, knowing how much of a heavy sleeper she was.

Atsumu decides to walk to the kitchen – even their kitchen looked great, wow – seeing the ingredients and utensils all set up. Suna still doesn’t look up.

Behind Suna was a rice cooker and a coffeemaker, and for some reason it makes him think of his brother.

“Where do you stock the rice?”

Suna looks up, assessing him for a while, before wordlessly pointing to the lower cabinets. “First one to your right.”

“Does (Y/N) still take her coffee in the morning?”

“Um, yeah. Coffee’s just on the cupboard to your left.”

And like that, the two silently work on breakfast. Little was said to each other as they moved around, the sounds of utensils echoing throughout their kitchen.

Through the kitchen window, a gentle breeze whisked by as though in greeting, bringing with it the warmth and promise of a new day.

Slowly, the kitchen began to fill with rich aroma, greeting back to the two men.

While Atsumu sets the table, Suna carefully transfers the food to the waiting plates, carefully walking towards the dining area.

Breakfast was set. Back in the kitchen, the coffee machine beeped. The pan that Suna had used was sizzling softly. Both men were silent, looking at the readily-made food, the set table, the dining table – anywhere but themselves.

Silence thickening.

“I know you’re still in love with her.” Suna finally says without looking, hands planted on the chair he was leaning on, large hands swallowing the chair’s edges. “But I’m her end game now.”

Atsumu scoffed at that, side-eyeing him. “So what’re you asking for? My blessing?”

Suna turned to him and just stared, jaw set. “…perhaps. Even though you’re still an obnoxious fake blond bitch,” for a second, his lips quirk, eyes softening “you’re (Y/N)’s best friend.”

Best friend. Atsumu doesn’t know how to respond to that, really. However, he settles for a nod. The ‘best friend’ part stinging slightly because he knows that it’s better suited for Osamu. Despite them making up on her 19th birthday, the title on him felt so undeserving.

(L/N) (Y/N) was his best friend alright, could have been more if he was smarter, yet she was the one person who had a hold of his heart long before he knew it. She, who had the biggest, kindness, and gentlest heart of everyone he’s ever known.

Meeting his ex-teammate in the eye, he says. “SunaRin, take care of her for me, alright?” the shiner from last night molts the underside of his eye, his pride swelling a bit. “Take care of her heart.”

Take care of her heart for me.

The smell of breakfast was making their stomachs growl, their mouth to water. So just when the two ex-teammates were about to check on (Y/N) a door opened. Still in her nightwear, with her hair was lightly brushed, she paused when the door was fully open, staring at the two men, who were staring back at her.

Sniffing, her eyes then fell at the food set on the table. Ever so slowly, the corners of her mouth lifted into a smile.

“Shall we eat?”

And the three ate breakfast, quietly. Any attempt at conversation felt awkward – especially for the two men, but for (Y/N)’s sake, they at least had to try to appease and quell her anxiety. Especially noting the dark circles under her eyes.

After breakfast, Atsumu’s phone began to sound off and he rushed out to answer it. It was his manager, asking him where he was, what was he doing, and if he was coming back to Hoshiosaka anytime soon. Truly, he did not think things through.

Assuring his manager that he was fine, and that he had to attend an emergency, and “no, I don’t need to take a leave, I’ll be taking the first train back now”, he released a sigh afterwards. (Y/N) had mentioned over breakfast that his clothes were probably all dried up now. With that, Atsumu can just change and quickly get out of their hair.

Walking out of the room, Atsumu noticed that the apartment was relatively quiet. Taking a few steps, he craned his head searching was about to call out for Suna or (Y/N) only to stop.

He didn’t mean to intrude, but what was in front of him made him stop.

Suna was holding (Y/N), nose burying on the crook of her neck, shoulders lax, while her fingers run through his hair. An intimate moment he felt like he was intruding.

Even from where he stood, he could hear Suna whispering apologies over and over, pouring and baring himself to her.

All (Y/N) could do was anchor him, maybe them both, fingers massaging the ends of his hair, holding close, holding tight. Quietly nodding at his words, lovingly caressing him, whispering back to him with as much love and reverence Suna threw at her.

Atsumu felt his heart ache.

If only he wasn’t such a prideful brat, if only he could have seen what he had, if only he was a better person.

But there was no point wallowing in ‘if only’s especially when it’s long past, most especially when he’s the one who made his very reality. He can blame the younger him all he wants, but at the end of the day, that person was still him.

If only…then he could’ve had what they have, could have (Y/N) in his life.

As (Y/N) pulled back, gently taking Suna’s face in her hands, (e/c) searching, waiting, before he raised his gaze to meet hers. No words were exchanged between them. But a person’s eyes can hold so any emotions, can tell a lifetime of stories with how deep and luminous they were.

They couldn’t take their eyes off each other – (Y/N) offered him a reassuring smile, Suna tentatively smoothed her hair, cupping her cheek afterwards, all while watching her as though she were the most precious thing in the world.

Really, it was too much for him.

Atsumu looked away just as the two shared a kiss.

Then again, he’s stuck with ‘if only’s.

I just know that no matter how hard I try, how many wishes I make, how many times I’ve thought about it, I’ll just never be her. I’ll never fill that spot in his heart specifically for her. There’s no place for me for me in your heart, Atsumu.

- Excerpt from (Y/N)’s letter, 8 out of 13

Atsumu tries to not let it get to him, he really does.

But life just never turns out or goes however you want now does it? Because it’s been years and his heart still yearns for that one inevitable, his one constant. Not that he’s complaining about his status – a pro V-league athlete, one of the country’s most promising players, and most eligible bachelors, he is very much satisfied with where he is.

But is he really?

Atsumu was the type of person who’ll never be satisfied, someone with a terrifying hunger for more. It was in his name after all ‘to devour’, and boy did he crave for it all – cheers, jeers, the thrill of the game. A mad craving that was unsatiable, a hunger that made him all the more terrifying as one of the country’s most prolific athlete.

And yet, he couldn’t be fully satisfied.

Not really.

EJP Raijin was to play against MSBY Black Jackals for the semi-finals match.

The gym was pretty packed, crowds filling the stadium. From the corner of his eye, he could spot his brother’s stand accompanied by a small fidgety figure manning the cash register.

From across the court, he wills himself to be happy at the sight of (Y/N) and Suna. The middle blocker wore a soft smile on his face as he stared down at (Y/N), who returned the gesture with the same soft endearing look on her face.

Months have passed since what happened, and the two look more in love than ever.

“Hey Atsumu,” Suna greets.

“SunaRin,” he smiles, a smug grin on his face. “let’s have a good match, yeah?”

The middle blocker meets his smug grin head-on, slapping his hands into his into a handshake.

It was a close match.

Atsumu played like he always did, being the master of his tune whilst his teammates danced along. Suna doing the same, thwarting every chance he gets (managing to even get Atsumu riled up at one point).

But in the end, MSBY Black Jackals came out victorious, bagging their first win for the season.

Nothing will honestly be better than the taste of victory.

Ah, these were the moments one just had to live for.

Atsumu will honestly never get enough of living through the roars, the rush of high, of victory in his veins.

This was him in his happiest.

He lived for these moments.

Yeah, he tells himself.

Sure, victory was great and all.

But when the match was over, hands were shook, bows were made, it just took a glance at the other side of the court and see two familiar figures for him to feel…hollow.

Sure, he was on an all-time high from the win, heck, they even had some shenanigans during the interviews post-match. But at the end of the day, it still gets a bit lonely at times.

All alone in the locker room, Atsumu hunched over, elbows on his knees.

Even he can’t deny himself that.

“A-Achumu…?” came a small voice.

Atsumu barely realizes the loneliness nor the fact that everyone left him alone. Looking up, he couldn’t help the smile forming on his face when he met big orbs of adorableness, peeking from the doorway. With the door half open, he could hear Bokuto’s voice in the hallway, probably off somewhere chatting, with Adriah’s laughter resounding after.

“Heya Hare-chan,” despite the feeling of loss (for someone who won), he wears a smile if for the little girl’s sake. “what’cha doing here? Where’s your mum?”

Blinking, she fiddles her hands. “Ta-Ta…” she frowns slightly at her words. “Ta-Talk” Atsumu nods encouragingly “…Chu- Shu! Shuugo-chan.” God, she was so adorable.

“I see.”

Those big eyes never leave his face. “A-Achumu o-okay?”

Not one to lie, especially with those eyes on her, he shrugs. “Not really, Hare-chan.”

“…w-why?” she tilts her head, prolonging on the last syllable.

Humming, Atsumu fixes himself, still hunched over his shoulders.

In his head, he apologizes to his teammates, Coach Samson, his manager, everyone. Not that he hates victory – heck, he lives and thrives for the thrill of achieving it! It’s just that, it’s EJP Raijin. And with EJP Raijin-

Quirking his lips upward, he hopes the little girl could believe him.

Kids were far too innocent for their own good, too pure. It wasn’t right to dump all his complicated feelings on someone as precious as her.

She blinks, those adorable eyes taking him in.

“Achumu?”

“Yeah?”

Fiddling with her shirt, she bashfully tells him. “Hare wuvwuv you…”

Ah, kids were adorable.

Aside from getting a chance to play the sport he loves, to play with incredible high-caliber teammates, he was infinity lucky to call them all family. Especially this one precious girl.

Taking the little girl in his arms, he squeezes her tight. “Yeah, I wuvwuv you, too, Hare-chan.”

I’ve had this thought for a while: do you know how funny the concept of love is? How it’s finite and infinite at the same time.

Of all the things science can’t explain, love is pretty high on that list.

Try as they might, but can science really explain a feeling, a phenomenon that extends and transcends throughout time? That can cause the worst heart ache known to man?

It’s amazing how a single person is capable of love.

How one’s love can be infinite and finite at the same time.

One has to wonder just how much some people are capable of love, how much they’re willing to offer, how much they’re willing to receive.

And you know the funny part?

Love can take just as much as it receives.

And yet, the heart can still manage either way.

- (Y/N)’s letter, 11 out of 13

Together, the twins walked towards a white wooden door they were directed to. Osamu knocked first, then gently turned the doorknob before entering.

“You wanted to see us?”

As one, their breath hitched at the sight of her, sitting in front of a vanity mirror dresser, dressed in white, face bright with her features highlighted by makeup, her hair styled elegantly with a few flowers adorning her (h/c) hair – was their (Y/N).

“Wow, (Y/N),” Atsumu spoke first. “you look,” suddenly, he felt his eyes water, his lower lip trembling. “S-Sorry, I-“

Beside him, Osamu rolled his eyes. Atsumu was always more emotional than his brother, who was seconds away from tearing up himself.

She laughed, standing up to meet them both.

Hands reaching out, the twins instantly took hold of her hand in one of their own.

“You look beautiful,” Atsumu says, swallowing down hard.

Quirking his lips, Osamu nodded. “You really do, (Y/N).”

“Thank you,” she laughs again, breathlessly, eyes crinkling, exposing the dents of her cheeks.

This was finally happening, their (Y/N) was to be wed!

Just a few weeks ago, they were at the Olympics – where Japan just barely made it through semi-finals, placing just fourth place, and here they are now!

“Crazy how time flies, yeah?” Osamu comments, never letting go of her hand.

“I was just thinking that, ‘Samu.” Atsumu seconds.

Nodding, the blushing bride says, “Me, three.”

Their large, calloused hand against her small ones, it was such a sight to behold.

“Just yesterday I was alone in the womb- OW!” Osamu yelps as Atsumu stomps on his foot, hard.

“OF ALL THINGS YOU COULD THINK OF!? WAY TO RUIN THE MOOD, SHITTY ‘SAMU!”

“LIFE PROBABLY WOULD’VE BEEN BETTER IF I ATE YOU IN THE WOMB!”

“HAH!? AND LET YOU LIVE A BORING LIFE? PLEASE!”

“AT LEAST IT’D BE QUIET!”

“SHUT UP, YOU UGLY SLUT!”

“BITCH, WE HAVE THE SAME FACE!”

Before another insult could be hurled, the twins yelped in pain as the bride-to-be crushed their hand in hers, a cool, calm, patient smile on her face.

“Miya Atsumu, Miya Osamu,” she sighs, finally letting go, the two sighing in relief, taking their hands away to nurse or stretch it out. “Even all these years, you two never fail to bicker about, huh?”

Together, the two share a pained laugh, shaking their hands.

“Eh, you love us anyway, (Y/N)!”

“Plus, your life wouldn’t be the same without us!”

Rolling her eyes, she couldn’t help the smile making its way back to her face. “Well, someone had to keep you two, in check.”

Exchanging looks, the twins then reach out to take her hand again in theirs, squeezing gently. (Y/N) stares at them, her expression softening.

Seeing her in all white was like seeing her fresh off a fantasy, more so that she was getting married during fall in a church by the forest on a beautiful sunny day. What a picture-perfect marriage.

“Have Auntie and Uncle dropped by?” asked Osamu.

She nods. “They did, together with Mika, Reiki, and little Katsuo.”

“Wow, almost forgot that Mika-nee’s carrying baby number two.”

“So,” Osamu drags a bit before asking, rather cheekily. “were there tears?”

(Y/N) frees her hand from his hold to playfully smack him.

“Oi! Can’t blame me! Auntie and Uncle are quite the emotional pair of siblings!”

Memories of the three walking into her mom and uncle crying over a Japanese-dubbed Korean drama, or J-Drama come to mind. There were even stories (Y/N) shared of her mother and uncle crying over some emotional commercial, together with Mika. She had to explain to her very confused brother why they were crying so much.

“Wait a minute, where’s brother boy?” Atsumu wonders aloud, the familiar nickname makes (Y/N) smile.

Tipping her head a bit, it gestures out the window. “He went to answer a call from his girlfriend.”

At that, the twins paused. Exchanging glances before meeting their best friend’s knowing expression, almost in anticipation.

“Wait-“

“Is he still dating that girl from last time?”

“But I thought they broke up?”

(Y/N) shrugs a shoulder. “I have honestly no idea anymore. I mean, I should be concerned, but it’s my little brother’s relationship and I don’t want to intrude unless he asks me or something.”

“He’s grown up, that one.”

A single sentence, pertaining to a singular person, suddenly held so much weight for everyone in the room.

The silence that brewed in, thickened. Thickened with realizations, of happy memories, of nostalgia, all of which have stretched on into eternities enough to fortify and strengthen the bond for the three people in the room.

“Well,” Atsumu was first to break the silence, letting out a deep, heavy breath. “this is it, huh, (Y/N)?”

“Yeah,” she says breathlessly, nodding.

Running his thumbs over her skin, Atsumu couldn’t take his eyes off her, hadn’t been able to since he first stepped into the room. Something lodged into his throat when their eyes met, his chest felt the beating of his heart. “Yeah, you’re finally getting married.”

She was glowing, it hurt to look at someone so bright and beautiful like this.

“You’re not getting cold feet, aren’t ya?”

Shaking her head, a faraway look painted on her face. “No, it’s just that…I can’t believe this is happening.” Laughing nervously, her hold on them loosened a bit. “Who could’ve thought I’d be here?”

“Of course, you’d be here.” Osamu, ever the best friend, was quick to quell her insecurities. “And it’s happening right now, (Y/N). No use fussing otherwise.”

Nodding after his brother’s words, Atsumu squeezes her hand tight, wanting just as much to quell away all negativity on her special day. “What ‘Samu says, (Y/N). There’s no way you would not be here right now. There’s no way you, who deserves all the love in this damn universe, shouldn’t be blessed with this much joy and happiness.”

Her smile was a little brighter, if that were even possible, her light shining brighter than before.

Exchanging glances with each other, the twins slowly bent over to affectionately peck their best friend on her head.

“I’m so happy to share this amazing moment of my life with two of my best friends.”

Just then, the doors open, revealing her youngest brother, Kaoru, who was all grown up. He looked just like Mika and (Y/N), with features that of their father’s. Personally, Atsumu feels like he takes his features from (Y/N), his extroverted personality were from Mika.

At the sight of his sister, the young man’s mouth opens slightly, tears quickly welling up his eyes. The sight causes the three coo at him in unison.

“Aww, brother boy!” Atsumu cries, feeling himself tear up as well.

“Now, now,” Osamu wraps an arm around his shoulders, leading him to his older sister.

“S-S-Sorry…” says Kaoru, wiping tears away.

“No need to cry, Kaoru.” (Y/N) smiles at him, the same smile she’s always worn for him. “But I have to say, you’re really like mom and uncle, both of them cried at the sight of me, too. Mika, even.”

“Aha! So there were tears!” As he said that, Osamu wasn’t quick enough to dodge a smack on the shoulder. The four of them laugh.

Finally calm, Kaoru exhales, nods at his sister. “Nee-san, it’s time.”

Nodding, she straightens, then turns to the twins, smile ever in place. “Well, this is it guys.”

The four then exit the lounge, down into a hall where her bridal entourage awaits her.

One of her bridesmaids, Airi, Suna’s little sister, excitedly hands her bouquet, then she gets in line with the rest of the bridesmaids. Atsumu and Osamu were then gestured by the wedding organizer of their places.

Wrapping her arm around her brother’s, she meets the eyes of her dear best friends.

“See you guys out there.”

As much as she wanted her uncle to walk her down the aisle so bad, unfortunately, tragedy struck years back that caused him to lose his ability to walk and that put him on a wheelchair. It pained (Y/N) when it happened, especially since she loved the man as though he was her own father.

In his place of her beloved uncle though, was Kaoru, who was more than happy and willing to walk his big sister down the aisle. However, he laid out a condition. As he compelled to have the twins walk her, too! Seeing as they were also a part of his big sister’s life.

Uncle was more than happy to allow this, as did the blushing bride.

Halfway through the aisle, the twins stood in waiting, at their beautiful (Y/N), wearing the most beautiful smile all day.

As Kaoru handed his big sister, he couldn’t help but shed a few tears.

(Y/N), ever the sister, gently wiped away his tears. ‘Awws’ could be heard from the crowd.

Before he could hand her over though, Kaoru reached over to peck his big sister’s forehead, mirroring her smile on his own.

And now, it was them three now.

(Somewhere in the crowd, Ojiro couldn’t help the tears streaming down his face as he watches the scene unfold, tears streaming even harded when it was the twins and her now.)

Three for threes.

It’s always been the three of them – Atsumu, Osamu, and (Y/N).

With the Miya twins, being two parts of one whole chaotic mess, who knew that it just needed the arrival of one (Y/N) to keep the world in balance, to keep the twins sane, afloat, grounded.

With every step, Atsumu could just paint out the parts of his life when it was just the three of them.

Three for threes.

One step for the shared glory.

Two steps for every little fights, easily resolved by cold logic told matter-factually.

Three steps forward for the future awaiting them.

Good things come in threes, he was once told.

Sometimes it’s funny how much Atsumu held on to them threes that it blinded him to the reality that the threes would slowly break off and go their separate paths.

It was probably a notion he never wanted to entertain.

A part of him that was scared to grow up and face the music alone.

Glancing to his side, his eyes were blessed with the most beautiful bride he’s come to know, to her other side, was the best brother anyone could ask for.

He can never ask for a better twos to create their threes.

Good things come in threes after all.

And that they will be, always be.

Even if they have to veer off their separate paths.

But even if they’ve headed off, deep down, they knew that the number three will never be the same again. Threes shall forever be embedded with memories, memories they will hold on forever, never let go in their hearts.

There are so many things he regrets, regrets that would soon pile to haunt him in the future. But even like this though, she remains his beloved.

Once more, Atsumu’s eyes fall to his beloved – (Y/N), the most beautiful bride this world came ever seen. Her (e/c) were set forward, towards the man waiting for her, who held her heart just as she held his.

It hurts.

It really fucking hurt so much.

Because he loves her, he’ll always love her.

But that was it: he loves her, she loves him, but she loves someone else much more.

So, even if he’s on the verge of breaking down right now, he will bear them. As the person who broke her heart, it was only karmic happenstance that it should come to this. Submerged into the ache he’s held for so long, only to somehow feel like the surface coming up.

As the light falls down on her beautiful features, his mind flies to meeting her for the first time.

Slowly, the pain disappears.

Slowly, his heart settles.

Slowly, they reach the end of the aisle, to where the twins hand over to her husband-to-be.

Truly, one cannot mistake the love the two shared when they finally met for what seems like a lifetime in a span of minutes.

The sight alone should hurt him, kill him, but Atsumu just smiled, making his way to the groom’s side, joining the other groomsmen.

Maybe not now, maybe not today, maybe not ever will he ever heal from this.

For just seeing that smile on her beautiful face – how illuminating it was all day, for some reason, he felt as though it were embracing him. And he allowed himself to relish in it.

Even if nothing was said, nothing was revealed, he understood.

Confession: sometimes, when it’s 11:11, if I see a shooting star, I make a wish that you’d somehow come to like me. Embarrassing, right? But I held on to it each and every time. You can’t exactly blame me and my little hopes.

- Excerpt from (Y/N)’s letter, 3 out of 13

Seeing the large bump on (Y/N) felt surreal, unreal. There was tiny life in there, a tiny person created by two people. And months from now, a baby will come out.

Atsumu couldn’t stop himself from smiling, looking at (Y/N)’s belly, her hands rubbing all over it.

“You’re gonna be a momma, (Y/N).”

Returning his smile – soft and full of bliss, she replies. “It feels so unreal, to be honest.”

His smile could probably split his face in half, but he honestly just couldn’t stop.

Months of her pregnancy has everyone within their social circle in a mix of both panic, worry, and stress, especially considering how much of a workaholic she was in a high-energy industry like sports.

“Actually, Atsumu, do you want to be the godfather?”

His eyes widen. “M-Me?”

“Yeah, you, asshole.”

(Y/N) playfully smacked her husband’s arm, the light catching the glint on her finger.

“Technically, you and Osamu were my first and only choice.”

“My?” Atsumu repeats.

Suna’s expression remains unchanged, but the corner of his lips twitch for a second as he shrugs nonchalantly. “Whatever the wife says goes.”

“I haven’t told Osamu yet, due to the time difference seeing as he and his beau are vacationing in Denmark.” Her response alone gave him a sense of pride, a natural reaction, he supposes, for one upping his twin at something. She must’ve known, because she was laughing lightly at the look on his face.

“So? What do you say, Atsumu?”

There was so much hope and anticipation in her tone, shining over the overwhelming joy blossoming her features. Who was he to deny her? Especially when she looks like this?

“I would be honored, (Y/N), SunaRin.”

You’re probably one of the best parts of my move to Hyougo.

It’s a pretty new place sandwiched between land and sea, filled with strange new faces who speak in equally strange tongues than the ones I’m used to back in Miyagi.

I would say both you and Osamu were the best parts of my move, quickly befriending me out of probably due diligence as we’re neighbors. But I will never forget how you immediately called out to me after my one comment about your competitiveness.

Honestly, I’m so happy to be in a place I can now call home. A place that’s brighter, happier for not only me, but for everyone in my family.

Thank you for being one of the best and my favorite parts of Kobe, Hyougo.

- (Y/N)’s letter, excerpt from letter 12

Seven days after she gave birth, an Oshichiya was held.

It was a simple dinner, filled with family and select friends, who managed and willingly travelled all the way to Hiroshima just to meet the newborn child.

As per tradition, the father was to write down their child’s name. A tradition, that made Suna nervous, because he had sloppy handwriting, and didn’t want to embarrass his newborn baby and wife. (Also, his wife was the one who did Shodo, why the heck was this on him!?)

Fortunately, he managed, and the whole world was told of their daughter’s name.

“Shio.”

“Like salt?” he asks, fixing her a confused look.

(Y/N) laughs, quickly turning to him. “No, dummy! Here let me write it down so I can explain,” Out of nowhere, she flourishes a pen – always never one without it, then searches for something to write on.

Laughing, Atsumu offers his hand.

Mirroring his laugh, seeing as there was no other option, she inches closer, closing the distance between them, taking his large hand in hers.

Even after all this time, his breath still hitches slightly at the feel of her soft hands on his, especially at her thumb smoothing over his palm. Seeing the peaceful look on her face as she wrote clearly shows that her days in shodo have paid off, especially with the smooth and careful way she wrote out her daughter’s name. Even when she was just using a pen, he noticed the few gentle strokes here and there with intricate grooves. Not a single wasted stroke on something as simple yet meaningful as a name.

Once she was done, Atsumu took his gaze off her to stare at the name written on his palm.

‘史桜’

“It’s spelled to read ‘history’ and ‘cherry blossoms.” (Y/N) explains.

He smiles at that, reading at his goddaughter’s name – at the characters in fine writing.

Just like her mother, she was spring born. Compared to her, however, she was born on the cusp of Spring and Summer.

How unfortunate, as Suna was a winter child, (Y/N) was a spring child, and their little one was born late spring summer. A perfect combination of the two.

In that moment, Atsumu had a sort of epiphany:

Of him being in Suna’s spot, of him with (Y/N) to have and to hold, most especially to love. Of him years back, waiting by the altar as Kaoru, him and Osamu walk her down the aisle, her uncle watching tearfully from his wheelchair next to her mom, Mika, and Reiki.

But with a shake of his head, the image is gone, replaced only with the reality he himself created.

No matter how much he wished for the hands of time to grant him a second chance, to go back and make his stupid, younger self realize, to reciprocate her wholeheartedly, readily, it was but wishful thinking.

Looking back to their wedding, feeling his beloved slowly part with him to join her soon-to-be husband, seeing her beautiful face light up, seeing the sparkle in her eyes – seeing her like he’s never seen her before, he just knows how much she loves him.

A love that could have been his, a love she set aside, a brand-new love that could never be his.

A love so raw, a love so pure, a love so incomparable, a love so deserving, a love he once had.

She loves him, so, so, so much.

And for Atsumu? Well, he understood that he’ll always be her best friend, one of the most important men of her life.

Still, lucky he.

Lucky he that he had blessed with her love.

Lucky him that he was fortunate enough to have his chance as her first love.

And that was that.

It was nice to live in the image of ‘what if’s, a plentitude of it. However, that was that – ‘an image’, ‘what if’.

And at the end of the day, there was only one thing that mattered to Miya Atsumu more than anything in the world, more than his life and volleyball.

For as long as he lives, he knows for a fact that she will never completely leave his mind, nor will she completely leave his heart.

She was his first love, after all.

To see his first love, his forever person, Suna (Y/N) happy?

That was all he could ask for.

“Would you like to hold her?”

“Yes, please.”

Not a moment later, he sees Suna walk over at his wife’s waving hand. In his arms was their quiet little girl – truly, a perfect combination of the two. As those (e/c) eyes fell on him, Atsumu felt his eyes get a little misty.

Ever so gently, Suna carefully hands his daughter to him, both he and (Y/N) instructing him about holding her head and back.

(E/c) blinked once, twice, thrice. Curiously taking him in, now that she was in Atsumu’s arms.

Unable to help himself, he feels himself laugh again, lifting his eyes to meet (Y/N)’s, who also shared in his joy, then to Suna’s, who merely smiled, wrapping his arms around his wife.

Pressing his lips against his goddaughter’s forehead, the sweetest little sound bubbled from her – his heart felt light.

“Heya, Shio-chan.”

I’ve got to get it in my head that we should never make wishes so big that they’ll surely amount for nothing but disappointments in the end. That the best thing we can do is settle for what we have and make the most out of it. As our school motto says - ‘We Don’t Need The Memories’.

It’s kind of harsh at first glance, but after our first Inter-High, talking with Kita-san, and the two coaches, it started to make sense.

That being said though, Atsumu, I will never hope for anything amounting to something more than what we have now. I know it’s all I can ever hope for in this lifetime. But just know, that with every moment passed is a moment I’ve held and cherished for as long as you’ll have me.

- Excerpt from letter 7 out of 13

“So, what’s next for Miya Atsumu?” the interviewer asked him, snapping him off his reverie.

Blinking, he met the expectant look of the interviewer before him, the camera was on him, lights were flashing on him bright and blinding.

Atsumu leaned back on his seat and let out a wistful sigh. What was next for him?

Years have passed and a lot has happened to him.

Well, first, there was his nephew, Hideaki – Osamu’s kid, first violin recital, then Shio’s graduation, followed by Sakusa’s big engagement which Atsumu himself planned out (much to the younger lad’s embarrassment), Meian-san’s wife’s second child popping up soon, Suna and (Y/N) were expecting a second child on the way, too, and the next league was starting months from now.

Atsumu was 29 now, he knew that he was destined for greatness, that he would always be hungry for said greatness that he’d have to achieve with his own hands, ready or not for whatever life throws at him.

Retirement was just shy a year waiting for him, but he scoffs for now, knowing he’d still kick it in the bud.

Just because he’s single now, doesn’t mean he will let him hold him back from achieving his own happiness.

Quirking on a smile, he meets the interviewer’s eyes and replies, “A lot.”

Dearest Miya Atsumu,

You are my greatest and first love.

Wow, what an opening, right?

But you at least deserve to know that. Well, I think you already knew that since the incident back in second year. Just know that I am forever regretful of what I failed to do, of manipulating you, and for just being an overall bad friend to you.

However, please know that it is without of great concern for your being. Scratch that, it’s me being manipulative again because of how much you meant to me.

I will always bear the burden of failing to protect your heart, a fragile thing for a time when we’re at our most vulnerable as teenagers.

I don’t think I can ever remember the very first time when I realized I loved you. It could be when we first met the morning I and my family arrived in Kobe, Hyogo, it could be the time you took me by the hand, Osamu trailing behind us, as you toured me around school, it could probably be the time you cowered under my gaze for the first time when I wasn’t amused by you and Osamu’s antics, maybe it was the time you bragged about the quick you and Osamu successfully pulled off, maybe it was the time you practically uprooted and stole a sunflower for me during our class trip – really, it could be any of those times. I don’t think I can ever properly pinpoint the exact moment, but I do know that I’ve been drawn to you since, captivated by your being, and instantly fell for you.

It is so easy to like you, Atsumu. You have your merits and demerits; each can outweigh the other. Loving you is a process, and I had to learn that the hard way.

I know you didn’t mean to hurt me that way, I can never ever find myself to blame you for damaging my self-esteem by using my faults and insecurities against me. But again, we were both at our most vulnerable: we were teenagers.

Forgiving you straightaway? That took me a while. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t think I could ever forgive you and decided myself to burn our bridges and quietly resign as manager. But apparently, life had different plans for me.

Realizing now, I find that it’s just funny how intense we could feel love and misinterpret it in ways we never thought of. The love I held for you was something on its own entirely. One I’ve held for so long, one I’ve hellbent on keeping a secret, one I’ve longed to offer up, and one I’ve find myself exhausted of keeping. I never thought it would come to this. It is so amazingly dumb how love is something finite and infinite at the same time, probably why scientists can never truly understand it and psychologists think of it as a sort of chemical.

I would like to think that I was the first to hold your heart, but I know that it’s not true. How can I be capable of owning something that was never mine to begin with?

No.

But I would like to think that I was the first person ever to love you so wholeheartedly, endearingly, selfishly and unselfishly.

Now, though? It’s gone now.

And I think it’s for the best.

However, just know, that I have never regretted loving you.

Loving you was a process – a long, hard, difficult process.

Unloving you seemed like a probability that should’ve been considered.

I could never unlove you, Atsumu, for you have been a part of me, my life, and my heart.

A part of me could never fully hate you, a part of me shall always love you. That’s all there is to it.

All the love I’ve had of you has been exhausted and it’s time I let my heart rest from years spending it on you.

I realize now that I was the one you needed, as a friend, but not the one you love.

(L/N) (Y/N)

- (Y/N)’s 13th last letter, hidden from the bottom of the letterbox, sent right after she left for Hiroshima

#alicemitch09 writes #miya atsumu #haikyuu!!#hq #inarizaki #(un)loving miya atsumu #three little foxes universe #fem!reader #miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu angst #hq angst #hq fic #hq angst fic #haikyuu!! fic #haikyuu!! angst fic

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alicemitch09writes · 3 years

Text

(un)loving miya atsumu

pairing: Miya Atsumu x Inarizaki Manager!fem!Reader

summary: You were 9 when you first met the Miya twins, having moved all the way to Hyogo from Miyagi. The two boys would eventually turn to be your closest friends, as much as rascals the two can be. However, you obviously loved one twin more than the other - a love that was more than friendship. Sadly, Atsumu obviously loved your big sister more. Deep inside your heart, you always knew. And how could he not? Your big sister was perfect, beautiful, everything you're not.

genre: angst, angst with happy ending, teenage drama, slice of life

series masterlist

also available on ao3.

disclaimer: i own nothing but the plot.

one • two • three • four • five • six • seven • eight • nine • ten • eleven • twelve • thirteen • fourteen (end)

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alicemitch09writes · 3 years

Text

too much of a good thing

pairing: Suna Rintarou x Reader

summary: It felt like he was in a dream, a hazy, realistic dream.

Lucid dreams, was it?

It felt like he was in a lucid dream.

Because he knows that the life he has now is too good to be true.

Having her with him, together with him, is too much of a good thing in his life.

Crazy how he had to carry all of five years to love this woman one-sidedly, only to have her return his feelings - albeit, slowly - and take his heart for hers in exchange.

Equivalent exchange, was it?

Everyday since she said yes, though, he wonders if he's doing everything right.Is he treating her right? Is she comfortable with him? Is he loving her right? Can she feel how much he's loved her?And more importantly, is she falling for him?

One look.

It'll take just one look into her eyes.

She'll look into his eyes, (e/c) eyes bright and clear, and all worries would fade away.

genre: romance, smut, fluff

author’s notes: I I blame my horny readers at Tumblr. And me, the idiot for falling to their whims. Also, because the idea came to me hard. Hmm

This is a direct sequel to outsider looking in which is part of a series. You or may not read the series, but it's important that you read the mentioned fic before reading this. Otherwise, you'd be lost and confused.

Also, um, what I wrote here is from a smut piece I wrote when I was 16 and I was so in love with Yamamoto Takeshi from Katekyo Hitman Reborn. However, I did write new bits here and there. But wow, reading your past work (that never got published because I was too shy to even share my works, let alone my OC) but awed at my writing.

Also, so much was heavily rewritten because I wrote horny teenagers, Suna and Reader are young adults here. Lastly, please don’t judge me I was so awed, weirded, amazed, yet shocked at how much I had written when I was younger. I faintly remember blushing the whole time I wrote it out. Also, what really fueled me to write this was Frank Ocean’s ‘Ivy’ and then, 'StikwitU' by Pussycat Dolls. Oh, another song that could help, especially for the last part is ‘Somebody to Love’ by Queen.

Shoutout to the amazing anons who wrote drabbles for OLI! The last scene is dedicated to you guys :”>

also available on ao3.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but the plot.

It felt like he was in a dream, a hazy, realistic dream.

Lucid dreams, was it?

It felt like he was in a lucid dream.

Because he knows that the life he has now is too good to be true.

Having her with him, together with him, is too much of a good thing in his life.

Crazy how he had to carry all of five years to love this woman one-sidedly, only to have her return his feelings - albeit, slowly - and take his heart for hers in exchange. Equivalent exchange, was it?

Everyday since she said yes, though, he wonders if he's doing everything right.

Is he treating her right? Is she comfortable with him? Is he loving her right? Can she feel how much he's loved her?

And more importantly, is she falling for him?

One look.

It'll take just one look into her eyes.

She'll look into his eyes, (e/c) eyes bright and clear, and all worries would fade away.

Now, he would be lying if he said that today was making him nervous - real nervous. Because, after long, tedious weeks of training, school work, whatever life throws at them, they finally have a day to themselves. For a date. A real date. Not those casual dates where they'd eat at the nearest convenience store or fast-food restaurant, which she'd frown heavily at (because of the selection of food that is high in salt), straight after practice. No.

This time, after four painstaking months, they had a free weekend.

Suna did not waste any opportunity to ask her out on a date.

Thing was, he was nervous.

Nervous as fuck.

Because this was his first love he was talking about, (L/N) (Y/N), the woman he's been in love with since he was 16!

In a fit of panic, he approached Murase-san, of all people, the best dating spot in Hiroshima, seeing as she's a native of the area. Boy did the woman give the smuggest look, eyes teasing, happily egging on the poor boy. Eventually, she told about Shukkeien Garden, Hiroshima Castle, Hijiyama Park, Hiroshima Museum of Art, excluding the Peace Park out since he's mentioned that they've already visited the place for their class trip back in high school.

Komori, unintentionally hearing and seeing the way his teammate seemed out of it, gave some helpful tips.

"Just be yourself, man!" he grinned. "And have fun!"

Washio quickly shushed him, seeing (Y/N) and Murase-san enter the gymnasium. The latter met his gaze, winked playfully.

"Good luck man," Washio patted his shoulder.

Saturday was the day.

Sun was out and bright, skies were blue, the weather overall was generally favorable. So much so that the city was bustling.

Busy for a weekend.

Weekenders probably making the most out of it, like they were.

Deep breaths, he thought to himself, deep breaths.

First, Suna picked her up at the station so they could go to the heart of Hiroshima.

Throughout the ride, Suna was plagued with thoughts, safely tucking her to his side on the train and off it. Side by side, they walked down the busy city with all the weekenders around them and the occasional tourist here and there.

Anxiety roused him at every time, supremely conscious that this was finally happening, that she was finally here with him, all this was happening right now.

What did Komori say again? Be yourself and have fun? Easier said than done.

Something takes hold of his hand, smaller, gentler. He looks down, meeting (e/c), breath hitching at how the sun shines down at her.

"Are you alright?"

Swallowing, he nods.

Cocking her head, sunlight glinting off from her pearl studs and piercing, she looks unconvinced. "Are you sure?" she squeezes their hands, expression softens to worry.

Four months dating. That was something.

After years of pining after her, years of yearning, here they were now.

He remembered telling her that he's loved her since he was 16, remember how she sweetly came up to him, wrapped her arms around him, kissed his chest, and stared at him with all the love in the world. She was the only person who knew what it was like to be in unrequited love, except his was well-hidden and hers was harshly thrown out. Remembered how she was the first one to hold his hand in hers, uncaring how clammy and calloused they were from a day of practice. Remembered the first time he met her all those years ago as an outsider in Hyogo.

Feeling himself relax, he squeezed her hand back, smiling truly.

"I am now,"

Things like this can't be rushed, it takes time - painstakingly long or short. But hey, he was willing.

Baby steps, he reminds himself.

He flicks his eyes towards her and smiles, mirroring her own expression, her own happiness.

Tucking her aside, letting people freely walk past them, he allows himself to bask in her glow.

"By the way, I forgot to say this," tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, holding her feels like he's holding her favorite flower "but you look really pretty."

His most precious little sunflower.

Immediately, her face darkened, head ducking to avoid his eyes. Laughing, he chased after her eyes, laughing harder when she was, too.

She was dressed in a buttoned-up dress with sunflower prints, a gift from her family, and sandals. On the other hand, Suna wore a simple long-sleeved buttoned-up, with sleeves folded neatly to his elbows, with some loafers. Picture perfect. How could she not look any perfect?

The rest of their date goes swimmingly well.

He always knew she had a penchant for flowers, remembering her eyes lit up when their bus passed by Ono city, her whole face brightening when their juniors gifted her a bouquet of sunflowers for her birthday and gave her a sunflower frame during their graduation. Basking in silence, the two walked around the Shukkeien Gardens appreciating the flowers all around them, the beautifully structured garden felt as though they had traveled back through time.

More often than not, he found himself reaching for his phone to capture her - something she didn't notice until he told her to walk ahead at the Rainbow bridge. She had blushed profusely before retaliating with her own phone, and the two were having an impromptu photo war.

Eventually, a caretaker saw them and asked if they wanted a photo together, which they did by the pavilion.

Adjacent to the garden was the Hiroshima Art Museum.

Call him a snob, but all the stuff in that place was nothing compared to the woman beside him, who wrapped her arm around his shoulder, telling him bits about the art on display. He'd listen, but wouldn't care about the art, he just liked hearing the sound of her voice.

Together, they left for lunch to Okonomi-mura, where both laughed at how different the okonomiyaki was compared to the one they're used to back in Hyogo.

Each time he turns to her, it feels like he's entered a new dimension and paid witness to a new being, but it was just her. Like a Pokemon, she's evolved, shinier, brighter, newer, and polished.

He's always taught the old her was cute, but this new her? It was beautiful.

To think that people think her a downgrade version of her sister? What a joke.

They've missed out then.

Even then, though, she's had a fair share of admirers - there was that one asshat from Nigawa Gakuin, Kageyama Tobio pleasantly surprised him, especially with the way he stared hard at her, then there was his captain, too, not to mention the twins. Of course, it was obligatory for best friends to think that their best friend was good-looking, especially if you grew up with them. However, whereas Osamu saw her like a sister would, Atsumu stared as though he was seeing a flower bloom for the first time.

Everyone else? They sucked.

But it's okay, at least he has her.

Leaning his head against his palm, her hand in hers over their table, he can't find himself to look away from her.

"You've been staring at me all day."

Mesmerized, taken, just plain awe that he could call her his.

"Is it bothering you?"

"No, it's just..." she stutters out, unable to find herself replying. Suna laughs, lifting her hand to his, pressing a kiss.

"Can't help it. I've been looking forward to this date all week."

When their food arrived, quietly, he heard her reply. "Me, too."

All things considered, it was a good date.

Without much of a plan on how to end the date – and to be quite honestly, he didn’t want it to end – they ended up at his apartment since it was closest. It was a pretty wide nondescript apartment he's had over two years now, with a lease under his name.

Embarrassingly enough, there really isn’t much to his place yet – just the standard furniture that came with the place. Anything else, to give it a personal touch? Nothing.

Yet, the only thing (Y/N) said after stepping in was that, “It looks comfortable.” And you know what? That’s enough for him, a sort of approval from his girlfriend.

Also, cut him some slack, he isn’t a slob!

On the way to his place, she suggested that she cooked him dinner. When asked what he would like, he blurted out pasta.

Together, they shopped for the ingredients at the supermarket – him, holding the bags, while she selected. She was quite meticulous with her selection, noting with interest how she chose items that were of high quality and reasonably priced.

Reaching the frozen section, Suna couldn’t help himself and grabbed a pack of chuupets.

Imagine, a 191-cm pro-athlete making a dash for frozen fruit jellies.

Suna wasn’t usually ashamed, no, but he remembered who he was with and flushed. (Y/N) laughed, taking the pack from his hands and placing it in with the rest. He brightened at that.

“It is a weekend after all, why not cheat your diet?” he wanted to kiss her so bad. “But you’ll have to make up for it during practice, okay?” he still wants to kiss her. Grueling workouts, laboring hours during practices be damned, it was worth it.

It was only once that he saw her cooking back in high school, with Osamu beside her. In that one instance, he saw a domestic side to her that unsurprisingly fit well for someone like her, doing something so ordinary in an unordinary way.

Right now, it seemed unbelievable that he was seeing the same thing but in his very own kitchen.

A kitchen, which, “…you’ve barely used, I presume?” she says.

Raising his hands in surrender, he did reason out that he does make himself breakfast but that’s about it. He’s lucky that there’s restaurants near the gym all the way to his apartment, he at least has options. Though, he’s not sure (Y/N) would approve of such.

Humming, he drummed his fingers against the countertop. “Perhaps you’d like to make use of it?” he suggests. He gets a frown from her, he shrugs in response. “Worth a shot.”

“Your apartment is 45 minutes away from mine. Plus, my dorm is closer to the university.”

He hums again, leaning on his folded arms, eyes watching her work around the kitchen – having already boiled the pasta, sliced the garlic, peeled the shrimp, and opened the can (Suna helped with last two, thank you very much).

Loneliness was a feeling he rarely wanted to address, especially having a history of moving places for the sake of his dreams, grateful to have such amazing and supportive parents. However, in the process of chasing his dreams, he couldn’t escape the feeling. Honestly, he doesn’t mind it, perfectly content to have his own space.

But now, taking in the sight of his girlfriend freely making use of his kitchen, he didn’t feel so lonely. Having her around was familiar and easy, even if it were her first time in his apartment.

On instinct, he took out his phone, unlocked it, opened the camera app, and snapped a photo. Some photos. (Y/N) was too preoccupied with cooking to even be bothered.

Tapping, the photo comes on screen, he can’t help smiling at how domesticated she looks, how relaxed she was, how familiar the sight of her was in his kitchen, her. Checking his gallery and he was met with even more photos of her, mostly candid, mostly selfies, mostly of their linked hands together.

Suna was half-tempted to upload photos on his SNS, to let the world know of his amazing girlfriend of four months. Instead, he locked his phone and pocketed it away.

As much as he loved her, he just wasn't ready to tell everyone - who wasn't in Hiroshima, about them just yet.

It's not that she's ashamed of her – fuck no, for in fact, he thinks of the world of her! There's no greater joy than to have, to hold her, and call her his.

It's just that, he just wanted to have this – just them, together, before they tell everyone. Something theirs.

Relationships shouldn't always have to be broadcasted, and he would very much want her to be protected by people who would think badly of her, considering that she's his manager and all. Sure, their PR team would have a field day working things out, but all things considered, he just wanted privacy regarding his personal life.

"But we should tell our families though," she tells him over a plate of marinara pasta.

Even she agreed to the notion, having considered the consequences since they started dating.

Nodding, he twists his fork. "Then everyone else?"

"Then everyone else."

He nods at that, taking a bite of his dinner – sweet, sour pasta melting in his tongue.

“You can cryptic about who you’re dating, though.” She suggests, taking a bite out of her shrimp.

“Cryptic?”

“Well, since you’ve been taking a lot of photos of me,” Suna smiles, she continues with a slight shake of her head. “you can use some that don’t have my face or just hide it by putting an emoji over it.”

Reaching his glass, he hums over the idea as he takes a sip. “You don’t mind?”

“I don’t mind,” she confirms.

“Okay then.”

Of all the photos he’s taken from today, he settles for a photo of their linked hands. He shows it to her, for deliberation.

“Where did you take this?”

“Probably when we were in Shukkeien?”

Huffing, she stares at the photo – longingly, adoringly, one more time before giving her approval. “It has a certain aesthetic to it. Mystery, too.”

Suna writes a simple, cryptic caption, shows it to her for approval before uploading it. At the same time, she quickly takes out her phone to inform Murase-san and Sugita-san (head of the team’s PR Department) of Suna’s post. Scarily, the two replied after a few minutes, offering their congratulations and reassurance.

After dinner, Suna unabashedly took out the chuupet excitedly taking one from the packet and handing (Y/N) a piece.

“It’s adorable that you’re this giddy and excited when it comes to chuupets,” she laughs.

He shrugs. “Can’t help it, they’re good!”

“And high in sugar,” she interjects, a brow raised.

“Cheat day, remember?”

Rolling her eyes, the two of them walk off to the living room, chuupets in hand, Suna telling her of the many memories he’s had associated with the sweet, frozen treat, the many flavors he’s tried, loved, and hated, the days he’d eat a whole pack because he wanted to – to which, her expression crumpled, because of the diarrhea he must’ve suffered after that.

“Boo, stop trying to slander chuupets!”

“I’m surprised you know how to use ‘slander’ in a sentence,” she teased, giggling at his narrowed eyes.

“Cut me some slack here, (Y/N).”

“My case still stands: they’re high in sugar, favorite treat of yours or not.”

Suna readied a retaliation, against chicken noodle soup – only to come up short, because damn it, it’s just as delicious as chuupets, just hotter, and healthier comparably.

As though reading his thoughts, (Y/N) shrugged, victorious.

Tossing his empty chuupet packet behind him, he tackles her into a tickle.

She shrieks, unable to escape, falling backwards, laughing all around underneath him.

“R-Riiiiiin!”

Suna continues to tickle her without mercy, laughing himself.

“N-Not…f-fairrrrrrrr!”

Tickling her some more, writhing around, her laughter fills out the room, bringing life to the desolate area he calls his.

“Riiiiiin!!!! S-Stop!!!”

Eventually he stops, having mercy on her, letting her catch her breath, face completely flushed from all the laughing. Her laughter’s died down, she’s a bit of a mess from her laughing fit, but to Suna? He swallows down hard.

Suna’s throat dries at the sight of her, his mischievous smile replaced with wonder.

To think that this is the girl that he’s been dreaming of since he was 16, was now his after 5 years of quiet pining.

Never has he seen such a beautiful sight – a flushed, mussed hair, and all smiles, his. All his.

Finally his.

He kissed her, taking her completely by surprise.

She tasted like oranges, sweet, sweet, addicting oranges.

This was by no means their first kiss – that had been a month after they started dating, he had walked her to her university and received a soft peck on the lips. It came out of nowhere – an innocent press, just like this one, but it was everything.

He parted, his gray-yellow eyes hazy meeting her (e/c) equally hazy ones, the laughter from earlier gone, filled only with him.

All she could see was him.

Stunned brought by the kiss, their eyes were searching the other, taking the other in, seeing nobody but each other, losing in the peripherals, the depths of their gaze, their lips tingling, aching.

It was just one kiss.

Yet it was all it took.

Lifting her head, her lips pressed against his. Sitting up, he cradled her head, another hand on her back to guide her, letting her straddle his lap, mouths never separating, the kiss getting more and more heated. It was...amazing. So amazing.

He didn't want the kiss to end, didn’t want this to end.

Something was burning deep inside him, wanting more, seeking more, demanding more.

They parted, for a breath, before he dove for those lips again, swallowing her whimpers. His hands began to run through her body, feeling her shape and curve, drawing her body closer, nearer, canting his hip upwards. (Y/N) squealed.

Blood rushed through his veins like hot lava, high sensations running around him, her scent driving him crazy, a deep carnal pleasure burned inside him ready to take her whole.

Abruptly, he pulled away, panting hard.

"Rin?"

He shook his head, shyly lifting his head to meet hers. Worriedly, she brushed his bangs away.

"I'm sorry."

Smiling, she falls against him, tucking her head on the crook of his shoulder. "I don't mind," pressed up against him, she could feel his heart, thundering wildly, same as hers. She didn't see the way his eyes widened, shocked, but the feel of his heart was telling.

Sliding her hands up, feeling hardened muscles underneath his shirt, fingering at the buttons. "...i-if you want to take me," the notion should scare her, heck, she was shaking! But at the same time, the very idea was intriguing, exciting, igniting something within her. "taste me..." twisting her head, he meets her eyes, swallowing at what clouded over. "all of me."

She wanted nothing more but to unravel, both of them, to each other.

Suna swallowed thickly.

He saw love.

And lust.

God, he loved her.

That feeling came back again, burning hotter than before, fueling his desires, encouraging him, and his carefully kept patience snapped.

Before he could stop himself, he snaked an arms around her waist and lifted her face with his forefinger and thumb and leaned it. The kiss started out slow, and then it suddenly grew fierce as they both leaned in to each other giving more of them.

(Y/N) slowly closed her eyes, wanting to feel his kiss. Suna did the same while running his hands around her, feeling every curve of her small body.

Her lips were warm and soft, relishing more and more, addicting.

He was making her feel good; he knew that when he felt her heartbeat against his chest. And when he slid in his tongue, she moaned sensually. Timidly, she met his tongue and engaged into a slippery battle for dominance. Lungs burning for air, they parted, a string of saliva connecting them, before leaning in again.

He was getting hard at this, but he can’t help it, it felt so good kissing her and for her to kiss him back. He’s always dreamed of this, kissing her.

Pulling her legs around him, bringing her impossibly closer, she felt his hard-on against his pants. She gasped at this, breaking the kiss, gasped again when his lips began to trail down her neck.

“Rin…” she gripped at his hair. She leaned her head back, granting him more access to her neck.

Just hearing her moan his name turned him on, making the blood rise to his face. He left wet trails down her neck, traced her jaw with his lips, nibbled on her collarbone, lapped his tongue on the crook of her neck, left open mouth kisses where her neck and shoulder met, causing (Y/N) to gyrate against him with a moan breaking out of her throat.

Lifting her easily, he stood up, hooking her legs around his hips, before pinning her against the wall. She moaned even more, feeling his hard-on against her panties. Whimpering at the agonizing sensation of him brushing against her.

Hooking her ankles together, (Y/N) dragged Suna’s head up for a kiss. The kiss was slow and deep, it took his breath away.

Suna nibbled at her lower lip; a groan reverberated from her throat.

She gripped a fistful of his hair, the other, running down his body, feeling his strong muscles. He was fit, so very fit.

He, too, had run his hands around her, relishing the feel of her soft skin against his rough fingers. He noticed, as he massaged her hips, that she had bucked her hips against his, as a response to his touch.

Without meaning to, he had unbuttoned the first three buttons of her dress – she looked positively beautiful in it all day, but the damn thing was teasing him, too!

Granting him access to her bosom. (Y/N) bucked once again, a cry breaking out of her mouth. Her grip tightened every time his tongue lapped or nipped against her skin, she was sure he was leaving a mark or two.

Every time he bit or sucked, she would gyrate her hips towards him, causing friction. He groaned every time, and she would respond with a whimper. He was especially hard, and it felt good having him rub on her.

Momentarily, he tore away to have a look at her. She was a sight to behold – unbuttoned top of her dress, exposing her lacey bra, her (h/c) hair tumbled down her shoulders, her face was flushed from the excessive passion, her pinkish lips were swollen, and her eyes, those beautiful (e/c) eyes, were laced with so much emotion – desire, affection, and wanton need. He felt himself harden, felt the fires burn even more.

“R-Rin…” she whispered, reaching out to touch his face.

At the feel of her hand against his cheeks, his eyes fell shut. Retrieving his hands from her hips, he took her hands in his, bringing them to his lips, gently kissing each digit.

(Y/N) felt hot at the sight of this, especially the way his gray-yellow eyes glazed at hers. She smiled gently, making his heart melt.

Seriously, does she have any idea how much she meant to him?

Hooking her arms around his neck, she brought him near, their lips barely touched when she whispered, “I love you, Rintarou.” Before initiating a kiss of her own.

Her lips, those sinfully soft sweet lips, coaxing his, intoxicated him.

How many times has he dreamed of this? Kissing her? More than a million times, maybe. Every time their lips would meet felt like heaven, he didn’t want to stop, just wanted to keep going forever.

They were in his room before they knew it. His lips never left hers, like they could never get enough. It was a wonder how they made it to his room, without breaking anything valuable.

He tore away to unbutton the upper part of her dress down to her belly, straps falling off her shoulders and threatening to slip off her body.

She didn’t have enough time to unbutton his shirt before she found herself falling against her bed, her hair splaying everywhere.

She was definitely a sight to see – all flushed, barely clothed torso, and her skirt showed just a bit of skin.

Down below, his was definitely getting hard that it was hard not to notice. He knew that she knew it.

Suna swooped down, taking her sweet soft lips, teeth occasionally bumping, unable to help the giggles escaping their mouths.

Slowly, with trembling fingers, she started to unbutton his shirt as their kisses deepened. His tongue slipped in again, meeting hers, tangling into a heated battle. It wasn’t long before he began sucking her tongue, to (Y/N), it felt like he was sucking the life out of her. With every unbutton, she felt his firm body against her fingertips, making her wonder how often he works out. Years of athletics have paid off, but he was quite the picky eater from high school until today unless she forced him to eat.

When she reached the last of his button, she tried to have it off him. But because they were drowned into their kiss, the action seemed impossible. She whined, attempting again and again.

Sensing her dilemma, Suna chuckled, kissing her long and hard before he broke from their kiss to sit up, setting to take off his shirt himself.

(Y/N) bit her lip as she watched him strip, her cheeks burning. Everything seemed to move in slow motion, his firm strong body slowly presenting itself. Again, she had to wonder how often does he work out? How many times has she ogled at his body during practices, taking in the sight of her 191-cm pro-athlete boyfriend.

Sitting up, (Y/N) stared at his body. Suna watched her, curiously in turn.

Tentatively, she reached out a hand to touch him. Her fingers splayed against his chest, she heard him groan. Slowly, she runs them down his torso, watching in fascination at the fine contours of his body.

Suna was slightly tan now, thanks to all the sun. His body was smooth, refined, thanks to all the training, she thought as her hand stopped by his navel, her knuckles tickling him.

He didn’t make a move just yet, instead, watched her in heated interest.

She inched closer, their knees touching, and ran her hands to his back. He groaned when he felt the fabric of her bra touching his chest, a delicious feeling ran through his veins when their fleshes touched.

She was hugging him, her hands running down his smooth back. (Y/N) timidly leaned in, pressing her lips against his strong shoulders, and just held him tight. In their warm embrace, did both their hearts come to a calm, their beating synchronizing. Then he felt her slightly tremble, Suna held her back, leaning towards her.

“Do you want this?” he whispered against her ear.

The heat from his voice made her flinch; nevertheless, she didn’t shy away. She gave a single nod as her response.

“Are you sure?” he asked again, despite having come this far, his mouth taking in her earlobe.

(Y/N) gasped, her breath hitching.

“A-Ah, R-Rin-“

“Answer me properly, (Y/N).”

One hand held unto his hips, the other to the back of his neck, playing with the strands of hair, as if encouraging him. Elsewhere, Suna’s hands were busy fondling her.

“Do you want this?” he asked again, hotly against her ear.

Unable to take his own teasing of her, Suna tucked her jaw with his forefinger and thumb, lifting her face to meet his.

“(Y/N)…”

“Yes.” She said breathlessly, instantly. “Take me, Rintarou.”

And that was it.

The ‘go’ signal.

He swooped down, claiming her lips into a searing kiss, landing unto the bed with a soft thud, pinning her hands above her head, settling himself between her legs.

Both of them poured everything into their kiss – the years Suna spent hopelessly pining, (Y/N) opening herself up and realizing how amazing it is to feel loved – making each kiss addicting and impossible to break. It seemed as though they could never tire of each other’s kiss.

Soon enough, Suna’s lips parted from hers. He looked down at her face, her beautiful face.

He caressed it, then leaned down to kiss her temple, her nose, her cheeks, her lips, each kiss, made her adored, loved. Her fingers tangled themselves against his hair as he began kissing her neck and beyond.

She felt his warm pads behind her, reaching for something, soon realizing it to be the clip of her bra. She would’ve helped him, but he seems to have the work done before she could suggest help.

The tips of her buds were already hard before she felt the breeze biting. (Y/N) felt embarrassed, having to show her breasts to him, especially him. She shyly looked up at him, finding an unnamed expression on his face.

His long fingers brushed against the swell of her breasts, making her whine. Her eyes glazed up to him. Carefully, he cupped her breasts, and he can’t help but compare them to marshmallows, seeing how soft they were. (Y/N) whimpered, leaning against him, undeniably liking his touch. The action encouraged him. He bent down and took her breast into his mouth, eliciting a moan from her. With his other hand, he massaged her other breast, giving it the same attention and treatment.

It was too much, she can’t take it anymore. But at the same time, she can’t deny how much she likes this.

Releasing her nipple with a wet pop, he busied himself with the other breast. She whined, feeling pleasurable heat throughout her body.

Accidentally, he bit down, causing (Y/N) to jerk against his body.

“R-Riiiin…” she gasped.

He looked up to her, looking at the pleasure contorting her face. He rather liked it.

Feeling his gaze, she looked down, only to find him trailing his lips downwards, his kisses burning. Her brows furrowed together. Breathlessly, just as she was to wonder what he was doing, a cry broke out her throat when she felt his hands there.

Running around her most intimate, circling around, her breath hitching, feeling his kisses lower.

Oh.

He was going to-

She cried again when he palmed his whole hand over her covered sex.

(Y/N) sure was sensitive, he thought to himself.

Hands resting on her hips, holding her down, massaging the smooth skin while he dragged his nose down towards the apex of her thighs. (Y/N)'s breath sharply hitched just as the tip of his nose pressed against her.

Yep, (Y/N) was sensitive alright, he thought to himself again.

One waft, and he could smell just how turned on she was the whole time, could imagine how wet she was.

Unbuttoning the rest of the buttons, the dress was finally off, he leaned down, his nose brushing against her sex, and smelled her. (Y/N)'s reaction was bucking her hips against his face, he chuckled. Encouraged, he began kissing her thighs towards her hipbones and slowly kissed her there, against the fabric of her panties.

(Y/N) squeezed her eyes shut, yelping out Suna’s name.

Even against the fabric, he was practically eating her up.

He looked up from his spot, finally meeting her equally glazed eyes.

It was as if he was seeking permission.

And because she was so caught up in this wanton need of hers, unfamiliar with the new yet exciting sensation, wanting him to touch her more, she gave a single nod.

Hooking her panties, he slid them off her smooth legs.

Now with everything gone, leaving her completely exposed, was he really eating her up. Devouring, more likely.

She cried out his name, like a litany. Toes curling, back arching, her hands gripped unto the sheets like her life depended on them. His hands met hers, slowly intertwining them together. With every lap of his tongue, her grip on him tightened.

She arched her back up higher, the pleasure building up. Her eyes rolled back, and she could almost see heaven. He seemed to be in a race for something because soon enough, she orgasmed against his mouth, hot drippings against his mouth. And he was there to hungrily lick them off her.

Tiredly, she splayed her arms to her sides, while trying to catch her breathe. Blearily, she cracked one eye open, in time to see Suna unzipping his pants. Both eyes were open in an instant.

She watched as he slipped off his pants and boxers, exposing his manhood.

She gulped down, unable to look away. Her cheeks had never felt hotter.

He was…huge.

Tentatively, she reached a hand to touch, Suna swallowed thickly.

She let out a soft gasp, taking him in her hands.

“Rin, you’re huge.”

He groaned, remembering the many nights he’s dreamed of her saying it, his late-night fantasies, followed by the awkward mornings he nonchalantly played off as he worked extra during practice. Only now, his dream was about to be a reality.

“(Y/N),” he gasped. “t-touch me…”

Never had he imagined that he’d say those words to her.

Neither did he expect to feel her hands on him, taking him whole in her hand, grip gentle. Groaning at the back of his throat, she took it as a cue to stroke him a few times. Experimentally, she twisted her arms, tightening her hold which caused him to suck on a breath, her name coming out like a litany.

Suddenly, she got to her knees and lowered herself to him.

“(Y-Y/N)-“

And then, she took him in her mouth.

Never had he expected her to comply.

Suna let out a deep groan, feeling her hot mouth take him in, watching her lips stretch out around his cock, the sight of her felt like it was fresh out of his late-night fantasies.

It was mesmerizing to watch (Y/N) sucking him, her lips on him, mouth hollowed, her fingers massaging what she can’t fit in her mouth.

She wasn’t kidding when she said he was big, trying her best not to choke on him. Her tongue lapped around his bulbous head, making sure to suck just as hard as he did earlier. At the sound of her name, (e/c) eyes looked up to meet gray-yellow, humming in delight.

Shakily, he reached out to her head, tucking strands away from her face, holding her head back as she bobbed her head. Hisses leaving his mouth as he felt something in him pick up, realizing then that this was probably payback for eating her out earlier.

As much as he wanted to finish in her, he had other plans.

Forcing her mouth off him, letting out a loud, lewd wet ‘pop’, (Y/N) looked up to him, sitting back up and about to ask, when she finds a dark expression on his face – so full of euphoria, hunger.

Embarrassed, she had to look away.

That expression seemed to mirror hers, the wanton need, the desire, only now did she feel shy of her lustrous desires with Suna, and she felt ashamed of herself.

Ashamed and needy. Never had she felt so wanted by someone.

“(Y/N)…” called Suna, in that tone – that worrisome tone.

But she didn’t look up, was too shy to.

The bed creaked, and he was closer, could feel him breathing against her, could feel the heat off him.

Gently, he cupped her face in his hands. “(Y/N)…”

She met his intense gaze, marred with so much emotion.

There was so much – devotion, loyalty, adoration, desire, wanton need, and love. So much love, so, so much. Love, tugged her the most.

It reminded her of the previous months they’ve had together, his impeccable patience, his understanding, his gentle gaze, the look in his eyes after their first kiss, followed by countless others.

Her eyesight blurred, how can she be so selfish? She’s not the only one who wants this, so does he!

“I love you…” she whispered, a silent apology, a silent promise.

He smiled. “I love you too,” he whispered back, accepting her apology, returning her promise.

Carefully, he set her down, like she was made of glass, how she loved him for that. He set his hands on either side of her head, taking deep breathes as he aligned himself to her. He was nervous, too.

Suna looked up to her. This time, she smiled.

Hooking her arms around him, she brought him close, rested his forehead against hers. “Take me, Rin.”

Nervously swallowing, he nodded.

Then he pushes in.

Slowly.

Carefully.

Gently.

A shudder ran down his spine, knocking the air out of him when he was fully inside her. She choked on her breath; tears leaked into her eyes at the pain. Panicked, Suna was quick to kiss them away, cupping her cheeks.

“(Y/N)-“

“G-Go,” she choked, eyes clenched shut.

So he did.

And it felt so fucking good.

Slowly breaking through her walls, filling her with his warmth, he felt her velvety warmth around him. Dizzying and maddening.

He gently rocked in and out of her, finding a rhythm. As the pain subsided, (Y/N) bucked her hips to his, pleading with a whimper, meeting his thrust.

Encouraged, he pulled out and drove back in, wanting to be closer. Closer.

It was fulfillment, it was joy, it was heaven.

Strangled noises escaped their mouths as they moved along, thrust for thrust.

(Y/N) buried herself against the crook of his neck, one hand carded through his sweaty hair, the other on his back to keep herself grounded. Nails digging through his shoulders, his scalp, feeling him deeper and deeper inside him.

Desperately, he sought for her lips, tasting each other before swallowing her cries of pleasure. She swallowed him as her nails ran down his back.

Breaking away from the kiss, he busied himself with her neck as he kept his pace. Underneath him, (Y/N) had bit down on his shoulder from too much pleasure. He hissed, but kept himself going.

He kept up his pace, but not long before he sped up.

Feeling his self-control slip, Suna thinks that he’s gone mad as he drove into her mercilessly, her cries getting louder and louder. Animalistic hunger taking over as her cries fueled him to take her more and more, especially when (Y/N) tugged at his hair, bringing him to her. Against her ear, he whispered sweet nothings as his pace quickened up.

His brows furrowed as he felt himself sink deeper into her walls, feeling her walls against him, practically sucking him in.

Taking her leg, he gave it a quick press before letting it hang against his shoulder, feeling himself hit even deeper. Falling back against the bed, her hands held on to the pillows, toes curling, muscles tightening caught in euphoria.

Such a lovely sight, he thought, bringing himself closer and closer.

Her eyes, he wants to see her eyes.

Leaning his forehead against hers, he sighed her name. “(Y-Y/N)…” he gasped this time, drunk on pleasure. “e-eyes…” he was so drunk on pleasure, struggling to get the words out. “…w-wanna see them.”

Slowly, her eyes peeled opened, brilliant (e/c) glazed with lust and love. For him. All for him.

That’s all he’ll ever need – those (e/c) eyes on him, grounding him right here, in this moment. He allowed this moment for a second, feeling himself choke up from the overwhelming love he’s had for her for so long.

God, he fucking loved her so much.

Letting out a shaky exhale, he allowed himself to breathe, to collect his thoughts, before diving into those inviting lips of hers, pouring everything – every ounce of fear he’s had losing her, every agony of him pining for all those years, every worry he’s had since she agreed to dating him, everything that was everything to show that what he felt for her was sincere, was true.

“Baby,” he called, forehead against hers, vision going blurry from the edges. “open your eyes.”

Brilliant (e/c) eyes opened for him once more, a moan escaping her mouth from him pulsating inside her. “R-Rin-“

“I know, baby, I know. Don’t worry,” he pulled out by the hilt, before driving himself back in, watching her arch her back off his bed. “I’ve got you.”

More than anything, Suna was in cloud nine, in a brand new high because of their union. It’s everything he’s wanted and more.

Pushing her hair back, he smiled down at her fondly, whispering against her lips.

“…I love you so much.”

He woke up to calm.

It felt like one of those mornings.

But this morning was different.

Because the first thing he saw when he woke up was her – (Y/N), flushed and naked, in his arms.

The room was heavily tainted with the smell and heat of sex.

They didn’t know how long they went on, how many times he took her, but one thing’s for sure - the two will never be the same again. And that was a good thing.

Lazily, he smiled.

Inching himself closer to her, he began admiring the sleeping beauty before him. Delighting in the peaceful expression on her usually straight face, admiring her special features that separated her from the rest, the marks decorating her skin – the action was creepy, but he didn’t care.

He enjoyed himself watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest, the soft snores escaping her slightly parted mouth. Really, she was so beautiful. If only she knew.

Gently, he reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, before caressing her. She moved slightly, he worried he might have awakened her. But (Y/N) merely sighed against his touch.

He smiled despite himself.

He looked down again at the sleeping beauty.

She’s been through a lot, heartaches, disappointment, loneliness, and pain. It hurt him to hear everything she’s been through by herself, needing to power through for the sake of her family and friends. This time, he was here. Now, it’s his turn. From the moment she came back to his life, he had sworn to protect her. He would always protect her, no matter what.

He would never let anything bad happen to her, he’d have to die first before that would happen.

He was happy to have protected her.

He was happy just as long as she had that smile on her face.

He was happy when their feelings had been mutual, even under the circumstances.

Very carefully, he reached for his phone from his discarded jeans and took an after sex selfie, taking a few photos of (Y/N), looking like a sweet fallen angel.

His sweet, fallen angel.

Tossing his phone aside, ever so carefully wrapping his arms around her, he closed his eyes, allowed her scent to comfort him as he held her tight.

And now, nothing could part them, not while he was still breathing.

She felt lightheaded when she woke up.

Blearily, she pealed one eye open, Suna’s chest the first thing she sees.

For a moment, she inwardly panicked, but when she remembered – with a terrible blush – last night’s passion, she came to calm.

She noticed that he had wrapped his arms securely around her, likening to a vine. Also, that they were naked. She blushed tremendously.

Flesh against flesh, how…delicious.

Tentatively, she looked up to him, watching his sleeping figure. He looked child-like, relaxed, peaceful, a very far cry from the Suna now who was a deadpan, sly pro-league athlete.

Lifting her hand from her sheets, she reached out to play with his hair. Chuckling quietly when his expression contorted, really, he sure was a heavy sleeper.

Leaving his hair alone, her fingers trailed down to trace his handsome face, his sharp jaw, until she paused at his lips. Those sinful lips. She felt them on hers, all over her. A tremendous flush crept across her face at the memory.

Inching closer, she rested against her side and watched in curiosity. Using her thumb, she traced his lips, feeling its smoothness against her pads.

Those lips, seemed so inviting.

She remembered those times before, way before they realized the extent of their feelings for each other, how close they were to kissing. Those innocent times, she smiled at the memory.

Drawn by how inviting they were, she couldn’t help herself. But not wanting to disrupt his sleep, she leaned in gently, pressing the lightest of kiss to his lips.

She barely parted, their nose touching, when she whispered, “I love you, Rintarou.”

One minute, she was stealing a kiss from the sleeping man. The next, her lips were captured into, what seemed to be, a lazy morning kiss. She didn’t have time to react as his hand cupped her head and wrapped around her naked waist.

Though taken by surprise, she found herself kissing him back, resting her hands on his strong shoulders.

He chuckled against their kiss.

“Good morning, (Y/N).” He greeted huskily, breathlessly.

Flushed and dazed from their kiss, she greeted back, equally breathless, “Good morning to you too, Rin.”

“How are you?” he asked, rolling their positions, so she was beneath him.

“Fine, happy, contented…” she admitted, rubbing her hands along his arms. “…sore.”

He smirked at the last one.

“Yeah, well…sorry about that.”

“It’s okay,” she whispered, seemingly aware of the renewed burning passion in his eyes.

“We both wanted it, right?” he was but a hairsbreadth away from her, not that she seemed to mind.

“Right,” he whispered as he pecked her cheek, slowly peppering her with kisses along her face, and down her neck.

(Y/N) sighed contentedly, tangling her fingers on his hair.

“How about," she gasped at his light nip "you?”

Sucking on a certain patch of skin, (Y/N) voice broke into a whimper, much to his delight.

“I’m just as happy and contented as you are,”

She smiled. “I’m glad.”

He returned the smile, before lowering to take one of her breasts into his mouth, eliciting a deep moan from her.

Suddenly, someone’s phone rang, and he broke away with a wet pop.

They glanced at each other, her eyes were glazed. (Y/N) set out to search for the phone, but was stopped as Suna took both hands, pinned them to her side, and took her lips in his.

Their fingers intertwined as they kissed, to the sound of the ringing. Parting her mouth to invite his tongue in, deepening the kiss.

Once the ringing stopped, it took a while before they parted.

“It could be important,” she told him, whispering.

“This is more important,” he told her.

She laughed, freeing one hand, smacking him gently in the face. He took her hand and kissed the back of her hand.

“What time is it, anyway?” she asked curiously.

Suna leaned over his shoulder, reading the clock.

“Ten past twelve.”

“How long have we been asleep?” she asked, alarmed.

He laughed, his chest reverberating. “Does it matter?”

A dark look crossed his face as he loomed over her, his lean torso in sight, making her flush hard. "It's our day off."

“R-Rin!”

He laughed again, not long before he swooped his arms around her, drawing her to him.

She smashed against his hard chest; his nose was against her hair, a heat stirred up when their bare flesh touched each other under the sheets. She was sure she was as red as a tomato.

“Rin…?” he was sniffing her hair, she noted, while running his hand down her hair, to which she found comforting.

“God, I love you.” He whispered, hugging her tight. “So much.”

Her heart skipped a beat at that. She can’t help but smile back.

Her small hands slowly wrapped themselves around him, a smile on her lips. “And I love you too.”

With just that, their exchange, it was settled. Last night was worth it, definitely worth it.

Moments later, Suna broke from their hug to look down at the (h/c) beauty, tucking her chin against his forefinger and thumb, gently claiming her lips again. His kisses were slow, a bit sloppy, but firm, sort of like, lazy morning kisses.

(Y/N) giggled against the kiss before returning his kiss.

They spent half an hour like that, just kissing each other. And a little bit of touching. A few more minutes later, (Y/N) called out that she was hungry and that they should probably get out of bed, to which, Suna reacted lazily. He didn’t want to just yet.

Slowly, (Y/N) made motion to get up, Suna watched her. She winced when she sat up, a blush on her cheeks when she spotted their clothes carelessly thrown, trails of last night’s tryst.

Picking up Suna’s shirt, she put it on and slowly got out of bed to prepare brunch for the two. Unbeknownst to her, Suna was watching her.

While she changed, he can’t help but notice how sinfully good she looks in his shirt, or how sexy she was. His eyes ogled on her creamy legs, her exposed nape, the marks he left behind, to her figure. How he wanted to take her right then and there but restrained himself from doing so.

“I’ll be right back,” she had climbed on the bed to peck on the lips, catching him by surprise.

As he watched her leave, he felt a mirth of happiness conjuring him. He was so lucky. He was so happy, so terribly happy that it was criminal.

Falling back on his bed, faintly, the smell of sex and her lingered about, he could still remember everything from last night, could remember the feeling of being connected to her physically and emotionally, the feeling of being loved, the feeling of finally making her his.

(L/N) (Y/N), his first love, was officially, finally his.

His.

All his and nobody else’s.

He had marked her as his, had even claimed his mark on her.

She was his, body and soul because he loved her, and she loved him back.

When he walked into his home, key jiggling and resonating in the threshold, Suna realized that there was something else he could hear.

Curiosity peeked, he quickly took off his shoes and walked further in, passing by a few shelves, with a couple of frames on display: photos of the Inarizaki team during their first, second, and third years, the purikura from when they were second years, a photo of them at Mika and Reiki’s wedding, (Y/N) and the Miya twins at Osamu’s latest branch in Hiroshima, the whole national team plus the staff, Iwaizumi and her.

Usually, the house was silent – relatively peaceful, considering the disposition of his girlfriend and his indifference. But this silent was broken by something, something light, sweet, and captivating, he had to follow after it.

Reaching their living room, orange was the first thing he saw, Inari – the fox plushie from before, followed by papers, textbooks, and stationaries stationed on the coffee table, Inari sat on the couch next to her. And her, his (Y/N), dressed in one of his t-shirts.

And she was singing.

She was singing along to a song played from her laptop, played at a volume that was drowned out by her singing.

He’s heard her sing a few times in high school, unconsciously, of commercial jingles which really surprised everyone in the team. It would’ve been funny, but it was more so strange, and, dare he say, adorable of her.

Their eyes met and suddenly, she was singing to him, every word meant for him.

It choked him up.

He swore up and down, that he would cross any ocean, move mountains, if those (e/c) eyes were looking at him like that, with sickeningly, sweet words of the song sung to him, feeling his heart squeeze in the most devastating and fascinating way. Death by her singing?

Wow, he must be an idiot, a fool so in love.

Taking her hand, he helped her stand from the couch, walking around to meet him and starting an impromptu dance, to the tune of her singing.

Suna was smiling, she was smiling, continuing to sing, as they swayed around their living room.

Nothing was grander, more delightful, or ever so perfect than to have the person he’s yearned for so long in their shared home, singing softly, shyly, looking at him like this – with all the love she could offer.

This was some greeting, but he wouldn’t ask for anything else, couldn’t ask for more.

For this moment was theirs.

Theirs and theirs alone.

And nobody can ever take than from them.

“I’m home,” he pressed his forehead against hers.

Smiling, she finished her song, looking at him with all the love in the world. “Welcome home,”

#alicemitch09 writes #suna rintarou x reader #suna x reader #suna rintarou #suna fic #suna fluff #suna smut #haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! x reader #hq #hq fic #hq smut #inarizaki #inarizaki x reader

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