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astramthetaprime · 2 years

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What Does Pride Taste Like Anyway?

Despite everything, I have always been determined to Take Care of Myself.

Being the only child of a single mother from the age of eight, I have had to take care of myself for almost all my life. I was one of the original latch key kids. Which was largely fine as it allowed me two and a half hours every weekday alone to do what I wanted, be that wandering several blocks to buy comic books with saved-up lunch money, sing along (badly) to my music, do my ritual recitals of Star Wars, cull the herd of edible substances from the fridge, what have you. So I learned to heat up a can of soup when I was hungry, do my own laundry, and not burn the house down. As far as my mom was concerned, that was good enough. There was that time I ate an entire jar of wheat germ she was saving for a recipe, but not everything always went to plan. Also, the occasional half-box of confectioners sugar. And I had a phase where I was taking endless photographs of vegetables. On film, mind you, when it was expensive. If I’d had digital back then I might still be trying to suspend lemons with fishing line to this day.

Nowadays I have to make much more difficult decisions.

It looks like I won’t be paying my mortgage this next month unless I eat some crow and ask mom for money.

I don’t make enough money to afford my bills, my mortgage, and still eat for a week, and yet the state of Tennessee says I make too much money for food stamps. I work 40 gods-be-damned hours a week and I don’t make enough to live. And for the record, my mortgage payment is much less than most rent payments in this current economic climate.

I stopped asking my mother for money a long time ago. I was and still am determined that, for good or ill, I will be responsible for all my own mistakes and decisions. I’ve never and will never blame my misfortunes on anyone else. It’s nobody’s problem but my own.

And yes, that’s probably an unhealthy attitude.

But that’s the hand I’m dealt at the moment, so I’ve got to play it and go on with my life.

#livingwage #tomatoramensoup #actuallyautistic #adultautism

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theblackautist · 2 years

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Posted @withregram • @neurodiverseworkcoach Repost from @ontheothersideofthecouch - 12 Common Cognitive Distortions. #Autism #ADHD #Dyslexia #Neurodiversity #NeurodiversityAtWork #NeurodiversityCoach #AdultAutism #AdultADHD #ActuallyAutistic #AutismAwareness #ADHDTips #AutismTips#FeelYourEmotions #AnxietyAndDepression #NegativeThoughts #MentalHealthTips #MentalHealthAwareness #MentalHealthMatters #CognitiveBehavior https://www.instagram.com/p/CgoCSOCMEPb/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#autism #adhd #dyslexia #neurodiversity #neurodiversityatwork #neurodiversitycoach #adultautism #adultadhd #actuallyautistic #autismawareness #adhdtips #autismtips #feelyouremotions #anxietyanddepression #negativethoughts #mentalhealthtips #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #cognitivebehavior

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theaspieworld · 3 days

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Want to know how to tell your family you are Autistc? Here are the top strategies I used. These are the exact strategies I used to tell my family that I was on the autism spectrum, when I received my diagnosis. It is good to note that everyone’s experience with family members will be different, but this is a general rule that I would stick to when explaining your diagnosis to family. 1.Explain The Process By explaining the process of how you got to and how your assessment took place it will allow them to feel part of the journey and almost feel like they are there with you. This is good for them to understand and connect with what you need to tell the, 2.Research It is important to present research to your family as extra information of they are going to need more information on this subject. I would suggest finding the best web pages or YouTube video that explain your diagnosis and provide them with these to look at in their own time. 3.Full Picture Try your best to explain it to everyone in your family group, as you only explain it to a small amount of your family what you may have issues so that when you are with with other members and you are in other situations they can help you. If you have anything to add to this, please pop it in a comment as I read every one. Also please follow @theaspieworld for more autism content. Video: https://youtu.be/Ajrp9bQnCdQ?si=jqfOS5c_xESljRD3 https://bit.ly/3QkIbLW

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annemarieprice · 1 year

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Work in progress. (Toon camera edit) #workinprogress #mosaic #art #annemarieprice #mosaicart #CA #woman #autism #sound #sensitivities #stainedglass #adultautism #actuallyautistic #talkaboutit https://www.instagram.com/p/ClfsGv_OFix/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#workinprogress #mosaic #art #annemarieprice #mosaicart #ca #woman #autism #sound #sensitivities #stainedglass #adultautism #actuallyautistic #talkaboutit

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mirandamckenni1 · 2 months

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Communication styles of some autistics Due to a need for wholeness and completeness as well as other issues, some of us may find ourselves playing devils advocate. Sometimes, this can confuse our listeners and ostracize us even more. Follow me on Instagram https://ift.tt/8DQNyOH Contact me: https://ift.tt/3aVCgOE #actuallyautistic #adhd #autism #audhd #adhddiagnosis #autismdiagnosis #audhddiagnosis #adultautism #adultadhd #adultaudhd #femaleautism #femaleadhd #femaleaudhd via YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BleLZvxu0AU

#IFTTT #YouTube #Youtube

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ragedaisy · 10 months

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#autism

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autieaddmommy · 2 years

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#adultautism #autismhelp #autism #femaleautism #kratom #autismkratom #autismremedy #naturalremedy #autismcare #autisticgirl #femaleautistic

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cheesecakeandpuddin · 3 years

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The way I intensely dislike wiggling fingers

"Temper tantrums" and rage fits that I never grew out of. The line of my sock wasn't perfectly aligned with the top of my toes and I could feel it pressing into the side of my foot and when it twisted because someone put my shoe on in a hurry (can't blame them, I was one of four), I'd cry. When I was little I was a brat, and terrified because I felt so out of control of my own body. And then so ashamed. I stayed home from school once because no clothes felt good on my body.

The way I smile or can't smile in photos. What face do I make? Is this a good smile?

I hid in bathrooms starting in high school. Or the nurses office. There was a spot under the stairs where I fit (it sounds bad but it was pretty roomy - think like an attic space) and I'd go there whenever I could just to be alone, quiet. I'd wonder what was wrong with me that I didn't want to go out and find people to talk to in the library, like most girls did on their free periods in senior year.

I'd get to the nurse by way of stomachache. In third grade, I switched from St. Francis to P.S. 114 and began a long career of visiting the nurse. They figured out pretty quickly that I just wanted to come home. But then I really was getting stomach aches. Of course, when my mom took me to specialists, they could find nothing visibly wrong with me.

I crave the most intense physical experiences - I like to think of it as maxing out. I didn't discover until I was older that exercise was a useful outlet for a world of energy that I just didn't know what to do with. When I discovered rowing in college I learned that I could push my body to absolute exhaustion and have it be productive. It felt so good to be completely spent at the end of a race. Later, running and Muay Thai would fulfill the same need.

I think there's something in that balls-to-the-wall physical exertion that triggers a very deep kind of breathing, the deepest kind. I have never breathed more deeply than when I'd be racing in a shell, neck and neck with another boat, legs burning, arms burning, but desperate to win. Deep breathing triggers the vagus nerve, which is responsible for the regulation of all of our organ function.

My father used alcohol to self-medicate what I am now very confident was at the least a sensory processing disorder, but more likely undiagnosed autism. I have only recently realized this. Most of my life I just thought he was an asshole. But really he was just completely not in control. I am sure he wanted to be. He had no idea where to start. He was told it was him. Something was wrong with him. So he drank. And then people disliked him more for his drinking. So he felt bad. And he drank some more. And the cycle ensued. I just wish that he had been able to get adequate mental help. Trigger happy doctors in Rockaway happily prescribed him Vicodin for years for back pain. Another way to mask the pain inside.

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Everyone needs someone who will listen to them, sincerely. Hopefully everyone has someone like this in their life. A partner, friend, colleague even. Sometimes it's a person you see every day and you don't even know their name.

#mentalhealth #mentalheathawareness #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #autism #adultautism #undiagnosed autism

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alphaumega · 3 years

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Couples have reported feeling not understood, not heard and having their problems trivialised. Some women have been told by the counsellor that their AS partner's behaviour was simply being male! The difference between an AS male and a NT male is that of choice. The NT male can decide if he wishes to spend time in intimate conversation with his partner, he can make small talk and socialise if he wants and he can exercise control over rigid routines and interests. In most cases the NT male has a choice in what he does or does not do or put into the relationship, individuals with AS do not have this choice. They cannot fulfil their partners' emotional needs or meet the demands that are made in the average couple relationship.

https://www.maxineaston.co.uk/published/AS_in_the_Counselling_Room.shtml

#aspie #aspie problems #aspergers #high functioning autism #adultautism #relationship #aspielove

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astramthetaprime · 2 years

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No One Here But Us Chickens

This week on “OMG that’s a Thing?!”

I learned about rigid thinking this week.

I’ve been going to science-fiction conventions since I was 16 years old. My first convention was ChattaCon 11, a small town con of excellent repute in those days. The first time I walked into the consuite I saw a guy dressed as Nightcrawler from the X-Men, leaping across the room. I’d been reading the X-Men for five years at that point, and to see Nightcrawler come to life right there in front of me almost broke my brain with joy. I realized in that moment I wasn’t alone, that here were my people, my culture. And it’s been that way ever since.

Over the years, though, I developed a definite irrational rage about what went on after the dealers had shut down for the night and everyone migrated to the consuite. Where everyone would be drinking. A lot of people came to the con only for that aspect. But I got (and to this day still do get) absolutely enraged at the whole thing. Irrationally so. Even at my own dearest friends, people who were all but family to me at the time. It wasn’t just at cons either. I cannot stand being around drunk people.

But I never knew where this came from. There’s nothing in my past to produce this. No alcoholism in my family. Literally no reason I should be this way.

I don’t and have never drunk alcohol myself because of this. Nor done any other recreational substances. I love my Diet Coke with a passion surpassing a thousand suns, but the thought of drinking alcohol just ... no. To the extent that when I took my jukai vows as a Buddhist, the easiest thing in the world to promise was that I would refrain from intoxicants. Because I already do. The thought repels me.

Now I know why.

It’s against the rules. Watching other people breaking rules and the mere suggestion that I myself break them infuriates me. Because suddenly everything changes around me, people I love become untrustworthy and dangerous, and I can’t handle it. The distress, the anxiety, are very very real.

(Mind you, I’m well aware there are no “rules” and no one has made any. But I never said this was rational. The human mind is not rational, anyone who tells you different is trying to sell you a philosophy doctorate cheap.)

If I ever needed any more proof that what I already have that I’m Autistic, this is it. I can’t change this, I’ve tried, I’ve tried so many times to convince myself intellectually that this reaction isn’t valid or based on any real reason. But it’s never worked. Usually I just leave at that point, go up to my room if I’m staying at the con, get a pizza or some food, and read whatever I bought that day in the dealer’s room. Alone.

I’m the same way about other relatively harmless recreational substances.

I also have trouble switching tasks, dealing with interruptions, and black-and-white thinking. So yeah. We’ll just put a big fat green checkmark on that one, shall we?

Now I’m just... all these years I spent furious at people I had no business being furious at. All these years not being “normal”. Never knowing what was “wrong” with me. Now I know I’m just wired this way. I’m not “wrong” or “broken” or what have you. This is just... the way I am.

I don’t feel any better, knowing what it is. I just feel more alone.

#actuallyautistic #rigidthinking #somuchangst #adultautism

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theblackautist · 2 years

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Posted @withregram • @neurodiverseworkcoach A great post from @myautisticsoul - Black, Brown, Indigenous, Melanated People, coined by @accordingtoweeze 🖤 #ActuallyAutistic #Autism #AutismAcceptance #AutismAwareness #Autistic #Autismo #BeingAutistic #AdultAutisim #AutisticMeltdowns #LivingWithAutism #SharingYourStory #LoveYourself #AdultAutism #AutismAwarenessTips https://www.instagram.com/p/CeWYynKu_Lp/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#actuallyautistic #autism #autismacceptance #autismawareness #autistic #autismo #beingautistic #adultautisim #autisticmeltdowns #livingwithautism #sharingyourstory #loveyourself #adultautism #autismawarenesstips

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theaspieworld · 4 days

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This is how to tell your partner you are autistic! 3 strategic ways to help you explain autism to someone. I am asked a lot of the time, how to I tell someone I am autistic, or who do I tell my parents I have autism etc. This has had me thinking for a while, so I decided I would create a piece of content on this subject to help anyone on the autism spectrum who is struggling with this at the moment. 1.Be Open The first thing I did after my diagnosis (as my partner was present) was to be open and honest with family. Tell them everything you can about the process and about the diagnosis and what it means. This is the same for your partner, be as open as you can be. 2.Answer Questions Be mindful that your partner will want to ask you lots of questions on this subject so prepare yourself for lots of information regarding you autism diagnosis. It can be tedious and repetitive but that is just how it might be for a short while for them to get the full picture. 3.Provide Research One of the things I found most useful when educating anyone including your partner, about an autism diagnosis is to provide them with information on the subject. When I was diagnosed I picked up a bunch of leaflets and hand outs and also a DVD explaining what autism / aspergers was. This was good research that I was able to provide to my family for them to understand it. If you have anything to add to this, please pop it in a comment as I read every one. Also please follow @theaspieworld for more autism content. Video: https://youtu.be/UgUQJb9DRvw?si=RbF21XklCxt52YRE https://bit.ly/4bhTGvX

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alex2xander · 3 years

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Undergraduate Autism Conference Research study

Link to join in the research study, view the questions, and fill out the consent form.

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1aXAhZ66mNaGAP9N-eWVzzBki0eOOSNlT?usp=sharing

#autism #adult autism #autistic adult #adultautism #autism research #autism study #disability #disabled #autism research questionnaire

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mirandamckenni1 · 4 months

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High Masking Autistic Males Josh, a diagnosed autistic and adhd adult, shares his story of being a high masking male on the spectrum. Follow me on Instagram https://ift.tt/smq3UtR Contact me: https://ift.tt/CMm9vEF #actuallyautistic #adhd #autism #audhd #adhddiagnosis #autismdiagnosis #audhddiagnosis #adultautism #adultadhd #adultaudhd #femaleautism #femaleadhd #femaleaudhd via YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLb5trbRazs

#IFTTT #YouTube #Youtube

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afro-priestess · 2 years

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How others view me when I set boundaries, tell them NO or decide to myself first:

#self love #Pisces #boundaries #actually autistic #adultautism #honoringself #spiritualjourney #autonomy #beauty

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bumblingb33 · 3 years

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This was a diary note that I started back in June about my personal experience with the physical feeling of trauma. Apologies for any cringe. I'm an autistic adult, and being vulnerable always takes me far out of my comfort zone...

#trauma #living with cptsd #comfortzone #diary entry #aimlessly #vulnerability #windows #adultautism #actually spd

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