#actually i have never been

[ahti-the-janitor]

Third post-Eurovision morning and part of me still hopes I would wake up and it would all be a bad dream and actually Käärijä won

#as he should have #and then we all would have went torille #i have NEVER been so upset about a competition for this long #actually i have never been #this upset about a contest EVER #esc #esc 2023 #eurovision song contest #eurovision #käärijä

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

#star trek #Vulcans #Humans #not based on a specific thing #but I used to know this annoying couple that were ‘family friends’ #who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field? #like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq #and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first #would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate #and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for #and it wasn’t a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance #the adults who raised us knew them really well and we’d been to their house a ton of times #they were just dicks #and yeah. they’d occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it. #it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible #you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier #but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks. #that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on #and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post #but anyways we’d hardly ever get to have nice snacks #and this couple would just take them all??? even after we’d tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks weren’t gonna be #replaced #hated that couple #if you’re wondering why they were ‘family friends’ it’s because the couple who raised us #(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesn’t fit since they never finished petitioning 💀) #liked having them around because it made them look like ‘such great Christian’s’ being nice to the people #that no one else wanted to be friends with #I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone #this got long sorry 😭

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[beanghostprincess]

Laios saying he's stronger and better organized than Shuro because he eats 3 meals every day and sleeps properly is probably one of the most encouraging things a fictional character has ever said to me

#no bc i don't i have the words to explain how much i love this #my mental health regarding food has never been more optimistic #like wow are you telling me that eating will actually made me feel ???? good ????? #between this and sanji i might actually get a lil bit better huh #dungeon meshi #laios touden

[nyaslashthreat]

shout out to when i told my dad about goncharov and he figured out it was fake because i told him "1973 martin scorsese film with robert de niro" and he said that wasn't possible because the godfather came out in 1972 and the godfather part II came out in 1974 and they wouldn't have had time to make a movie in between. a perfectly good jest, foiled by this man's weird and vast knowledge set

#edit i remembered this incorrectly #i confused robert de niro with al pacino he was actually what tipped my dad off #i'll be honest i've never seen the godfather? the only mafia movies i've watched are goodfellas and 1996 lesbian masterpiece bound #so i'm not really familiar with the genre lol #EDIT AGAIN IF ANYONE CARES: I HAVE SEEN GODFATHER PART I AND II NOW. I KNOW HOW WRONG I WAS. WHY DID THIS GO UP 500 NOTES IT'S BEEN MONTHS #goncharov #goncharov 1973 #eddie genius posting

[mangozic]

archivist be upon ye

#relistening to tma again #i think the last time i’ve drawn anything related to it was like may 2020 #god it’s been a while #have been listening to the magnus protocol and my god it’s so good #but heres good old jonathan as a treat #the interest has been in deep slumber for the past 4/5 years only periodically coming back to life #i’m very normal about this podcast actually #on other note i also started a taz balance relisten #what’s up with me and revisiting my middle school fixations lately #anyways #if you’re still reading these tags i’m impressed i could never with my abysmal attention span #tma #the magnus archives #the magnus pod #jonathan sims #the archivist #tma jon #fanart #my art #digital art #illustration #doodle

[uncanny-tranny]

Learning to internalize the message above, but art is in all of our bones. If you feel afraid to create art because it won't be "good enough," it's worth it to explore why you feel that fear. Creating art is one of the basic impulses of people, and if you want to create art, then you absolutely must.

#art #positivity #described images #image description in alt #i'm like 80% sure that's a lynx but i've never seen one irl #i'm going to weld this meme into my brain as i start crochet #maybe i have seen a lynx at the zoo actually. but that's beside the point and i haven't been to a zoo in years (sad!) #the zoos in my state are actually from what i understand VERY high-end and VERY good with their animals #which definitely makes me more willing to support them <3 #i have been informed this is not a lynx btw #IN MY DEFENSE they look similar #thank GD tumblr unlike twitter lets you edit alt text. staff was real af for that (rare compliment i have for staff)

[beybuniki]

they should go on a fishing trip pt.1

#DONT COMMENT ON THE BACKGROUND I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWW #anyway this is day 1. they take a bus. the bakugo household has fishing gear so ´deku is wearing bakugo's onesoe (?) and bakugo is wearing #his dad's. and notices he has grown :') #anyway they take a BUS and don't feel like doing this at all it's awkward for so many reason #also trying to relax after everything is neurologically just really hard they might be hyperivgilant dik #and there's so much they never got to unpack bnut they have to and they have to start somewhere and with someone #deku makes that flower crown while bakugo preps everything and they both look at it and are thrown back into their childhood 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️ #and at first they just sit and wait for the bavarian fish to bite (rody should make a cameo tbh) but then bakugo breaks the iceeee. #and he starts with their moms because their moms have been such a stubbron connection between these two :') #and deku answers with the usual 'good :) how's your mom :)?' and to everyone's surprise he actually opens up #and tells deku about his mom's insomnia because she watched her son die (that shit was live streamed tpo 10 bnha tweets btw) #idk i love to think of their moms being a very easy subject to connect through i think it's easier for them that way to be more vulnerablei #and then some fish biteeeeeeeeeeee #but like 3 small ones so they have to gather berries and mushrooms and make stew (dw there's an aldi this is bavaria after all) #but yeah day 1 is a bit weird like it's just them in the woods with no distractions #which is so different from whatever went on during their 1st year of high school #don't read this i will throw up i just need this somewhere this is my public scrapbook #bnha #deku #midoriya izuku #bakugo katsuki #the flower crown on their knees makes this a bit homosexual but fishing is always homosexual im not fighting against that #au: #fishing

[mjulmjul]

Katya / Goncharov

#yeah ik ive posted them before sorry but i REALLY like how these look together #martin scorsese #goncharov #artists on tumblr #illustration #unreality #<— posters for a ‘movie’ that doesn’t actually exist but is a tumblr meme in which everyone pretends it does&makes content for it #fascinating how we’re immediately personable w katya by knowing her first name while only knowing goncharov’s surname keeps us at a distanc #combined with him being the only major character to go by a moniker it emphasizes just how much he's been consumed by the role he plays #who is goncharov? does he know and keep it secret? or has he too lost his sense of identity? #it's reflected in these posters as we SEE katya but goncharov remains elusive - yet clearly time is running out for them both #lakjdklf ok im done now i never post meta on here so im having fun with the fictional movie #btw I updated both of the illustrations compared to the original posts but will leave those as they were #woudl be cool if my post showed up. u can do it tumblr

[choccy-milky]

MC doing what we all wished we could do (aka napping on the floor with ominis )😴💕

#ill never get over how he just sleeps on the floor its so cute to me and seems so at odds with his personality which makes it better #hogwarts legacy #hphl #ominis gaunt #ominis gaunt x mc #ominis gaunt x oc #ominis x mc #hogwarts legacy ominis #hogwarts legacy fanart #hey look everyone its my nameless MC aka just brown haired clora LMAOOO #its like when u play a fighting game and you and your friend both choose the same chara. this is clora with a diff colour scheme BAHAHA #this has been in my wips for like a year im not even joking im glad to finally actually draw it properly LMAO #i also love how all of my ominis centric posts involve him on the floor/talking about the floor LMFAOO EVEN THE SMUT ONE #what can i say i just love a man who isnt afraid to chill on the floor ok #also i love a hypocritical man LMAO apparently. i always make seb a hypocrite and now im makin ominis one too #HOW COULD U SLEEP ON THE FLOOR MC? #meanwhile #also srry but dont get ur hopes up for more ominis content anytime soon this was just in my wips and i rly wanted to finally have it done #A RARE TREAT FOR THE OMINIS GIRLIES #choccyart

[vacantgodling]

ngl i get that people hype up hating writing for the bit but like. idk. yall i Do actually really like writing. it is so satisfying and fun and rewarding and i get to look back what i made over and over again and get joy every single time.

yes writing is hard but if you hate it more than you love it im kinda like. idk. find another hobby?

#also the planning parts and the daydreaming is part of the process so idk #yall it is getting exhausting seeing all the quirky see how little i’m writing shit #like what if for once i am writing and im having a grand time!! #what if not being able to write isn’t a fun joke it is honestly detrimental to my brain!!! #what if writing has been my friend when i never had any and it is the love of my life and love language and i love actually doing it perhap #talking #ren hot cakes

[tshortik]

I love you messy artstyle i love you visible brush strokes I love you textures and rough edges I love you imperfections I love you roughness and colour blobs I love you scratchy sketches and bold stylisation and dirt and imperfections I love you ugly and raw emotion!!!!! ❤️

#i talk sometimes #art talk #i made a tweet like this on twatter ages ago but i've been feeling this a lot lately #also this is the start of me writing more on this blog and not only using it as art because who cares!! i don't!! #I wanna translate raw emotion into colors and shapes. I wanna know where to ignore all details and where to go ham you feel me? #i used to dream about developing a style like for MtG where it looked like a masterful oil painting that oozes realism and details #and i've realised the last two years or so that I would actually hate that for me. I know I wouldn't enjoy doing it. For myself. #it's that pipeline from wanting to be the perfect realistic wotc artist to accepting that I will never be that #instead i wanna learn how to stylise better and get a good brush economy going yknow. I wanna be bolder. #i doubt i'll ever be as incredible as all these MtG artists no matter what anyone says. but it's ok!! i don't have to be!!! #i just luv art man!!

[adastreia-12]

poseidon’s relationship with percy is something that is so personal to me. love so flawed and complicated, so wary and tentative. your father is here. he’s always been here. he’s not sure what to make of you but he is proud of you. you’re not sure what to make of him either. you’re sally jackson’s son, but you have your father’s eyes. you are the sea as much as he is. trust him. trust yourself. breathe. the sea does not like to be restrained.

#I’m so scared they’ll fuck up their relationship in the show but I have HIGH hopes #so far interesting things have been introduced about him which I hope will actually insert nuance to the show #what does it mean for your father to be a monster? #your mother never talked about him that way #but all are victim to the immortality of gods and the detachment it brings #how much can a profound being truly love you without making a victim out of you? #does one’s immortality inherently devalue one’s love? #this devolved into thoughts about sally and Medusa and Poseidon and poseidon’s monstrosity #but whatever #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo tv show #pjo series #percy jackson

[inkskinned]

love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.

love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.

love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.

love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.

maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.

recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.

#writeblr #warm up #ps edited so it is more clear where “half” of men is coming from: #15% literally don't even touch water #an ADDITIONAL 35% ''wash'' by just running their hands under water WITHOUT SOAP #15+35 =50% #like that is not washing ur hands. go back and use soap #btw the numbers for women are 4% never washing and 15% ''just water'' #which is still gross but like. sooo much better yikes #ps i know we're all gay on this site but watching ppl ''correct'' my math on this has been wild #i have a learning disability im genuinely bad at math so i check EVERY time someone corrects me #but no they're just confidently wrong..... #182 hours is a week babes. 182/24 (number of hours in a day) is ~7.6 #that's where i got that number from. also from rent we know there's 168 hours in a week. #ALSO btw if u read this and ur response is ''men are also struggling rn tho'' like babe you missed the point of it tho #this doesn't even make fun of men it's legit just pointing out that bigotry against women isn't founded #in anything men actually CARE about . like they don't actually CARE about ''being clean'' when they make fun of armpit hair #or they would be WASHING THEIR HANDS. #men pretend to be rollin' in cash and Apex Predators and instead they are trained to be lazy and unwilling to act in emergencies #i have never and will never make fun of men for asking for more support on important topics like DV and mental health. #this is so clearly not about men; it's about how common just being plainly misogynistic has become. #like they don't try to hide it anymore.

[endermagpieart]

What do you mean I’m a bit late for Janus’ big day? Of course not, how could you say such a thing! I definitely didn’t forget all about it in my absence and only get reminded in the incorrect quotes video live chat; that’s not like me at all ;]

Anyways I decided to dress our sassy snake in some different outfits I think he’d like. He seems like the type to get all dolled up on his birthday and it goes with Thomas posting pics in outfits inspired by the sides on their appreciation days!

@thatsthat24

#sanders sides #janus sanders #ts janus #thomas sanders #sanders sides fanart #my hoard #I’ve returned! #the newest asides came out and I remembered how much I love it #so I’m hyperfixated again and I’ve not now peace since #it is nice to actually finish something again tho #I’ve been pretty busy working lately and now I’m starting to pack to move into my first apartment! #so not much time to really sit down and draw #and when I do have time I can’t get the motivation to actually draw anything #I want to get better about posting stuff on here #(even though it feels like I’m just dreaming into the void a lot) #even just silly little things or rough sketches I’ll never finish #I hope it’ll help me continue to draw and make things again #I forgot how nice it is #anyways if you’ve read this far thanks #have a cookie :] 🍪

[crunchycrystals]

this makes me want to cry

#crunchyposts #pjo #pjotv #guys i also have been obsessed with this series for years it means so much to me that the actors are also fans of the book #it doesnt mention it here but i know leah's said that she was so excited to play annabeth to be 'the girl in her brothers books' #since she got his old copies when he left for college (?) #this means absolutely everything to me rep in media means so much to me bc of how little i understood myself as a kid since i never saw #anyone like me and pjo was the first time i saw someone whse brain was kidna like mine and so many things clicked into place after that #and as a queer girl and someone who's south east asian i rarely saw anyone like me on tv and ive still never seen any demiro char on screen #but now they actually have a non white nd character and its /my/ favorite character and its gonna mean so much to younger black girls #100 #150 #200 #300 #400 #500 #1k #1.5k #2k