#abuse is talked about pretty openly but not graphically | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

britts-galaxy-brain · 1 year

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even if the fanfic you say was written by lily was, that doesn't make her a predator. i wrote some horrible pairings between adults and minors when i was big into my artemis fowl phase and i've drawn characters in ways i shouldn't have before. lily having made mistakes in the past doesn't make her a bad person. ee all fuck up sometimes. it's not the important thing. the important thing is that she tries to keep attention off that kind of thing and limits sexual stuff to stuff we can all click off of. if i didn't want to see her stream or watch her videos or whatever, i could and can just hit the back button. yeah, i guess flashing is kinda cringe, but cishet dudes do it all the time and no one calls them predators. it's just a thing some people do. It's not great but it's not anywhere near as graphic as the stuff guys at my school do, joking about raping girls and who they wouldn't fuck even if they were too drunk to see straight etc.

it's maybe five seconds of boobs. that's NOTHING. and it's transphobic that people slam her for this but if guys at my school joke about wanting to facefuck me it's "boys will be boys lol". why should a trans woman get so much more anger for a sexual joke so much more minor? what has she done wrong that the cishet guys who i CANNOT escape with a simple click haven't? i've never seen her flash but if i did it's one click away from being out of my life. the old dude who stares at my boobs in the library is way worse than lily. if she wasn't trans no one would give a damn.

and for your information, she has messaged me after i sent her fanart - and we talked briefly about fanart and how to navigate the tags on a fanart website i use that she's unfamiliar with. that's it. there was nothing sexual, nothing inappropriate, no red flags. just a pretty normal conversation and then she moved on. she's not evil or predatory or whatever. she's just some woman on the internet. all she's guilty of is maybe having written some bad fics and showing a few inches of skin. i've been raped. i know what abuse is. "hey how do you exclude tags on this site anyway? i keep looking for ___ character and only getting art of them with ___" is not abuse.

...Oh my. Yall I'm gonna need some help here.

There are screenshots of Lily's old Tumblr where the first three were linked, Lily talked about it openly, she even used to have a NFSW blog dedicated to it despite the fact that its most notable plot point involved grooming and molesting children and a young teenager. There are also video clips of Lily herself admitting to writing it. She was writing the sequels long into her 20s, which is well beyond the age an adult should be writing about those ages.

The people at your school are just as disgusting and the fact that they aren't getting reprimanded immediately is a sad failure of the adults around you. The adults in your life should be taking that just as seriously as we're taking Lily's behavior. It is just as predatory and sick, and I'm truly sorry the adults in your life are failing at this. I grew up in a similar situation myself, and it was a huge reason I ended up getting involved with adults I shouldn't have been involved with. Much like you, it had become normalized in my head, and I justified the adults who were taking advantage of me. It didn't make it right. They were predators who knew what they were doing, and wanted to manipulate and use me.

Lily uses a lot of maliciously manipulative tactics to get her audience, notably people your age, to sympathize with her. It's a form of emotional manipulation. None of us are transohobic in any capacity, and at least three of the people who are or have called her out for this are trans themselves. Accusing us of transphobia is one of the many lies she tells her audience so she can pretend to be a victim, and manipulate her audience into immediately disregarding us. If she can get her audience to believe we're terrible bigots by playing into their emotions, they're less likely to want to look at the hard evidence and corroborating experiences many of us have had with her.

Anon, I can promise you Lily has been lying to you to keep you around for her own selfish purposes. None of us are right-leaning in any capacity. Many of us are trans or otherwise not cisgender. Many of us aren't straight. Many Natives have spoken out against her. Many black people have spoken out against her. Kinksters have spoken out against her. Just about every group she performatively fights for has called her out for horrendous misinformation, racial fetishization, promoting extreme violence, pathological lying, smear campaigning, sockpuppeting (that she still does to this day by sending herself fake anon asks on a regular basis), zoophilia, and pedophilia. The last two have more than enough hard evidence out of her own keyboard to back up.

I'm truly sorry for what you're going through IRL. What those boys around you are saying is still predatory, still disgusting, and should absolutely be addressed by the adults around you. The fact rhat they aren't doesn't mean what those boys are doing is normal or okay. And it certainly doesn't mean what Lily is doing is normal or okay. People like Lily prey on people in your situation, who unfortunately haven't been shown that this behavior is abusive and horrible. This is what she relies on, and why she refuses to set up a revenue stream on a more adult-oriented website. There are many popular sites where she could be openly sexual with other adults and get paid well for it, but she refuses to go to those sites. It's because she gets off on the audience she has now, which consists of a lot of minors in situations like yours. Her and I are the same age, and I can tell you what she is doing is not something someone our age should EVER be doing. Period. It is predatory, she knows full well it is predatory, yet she's doing it anyway and lying to people so she doesn't get caught.

Please be safe, anon. I know it gets heavy as all hell dealing with what you're dealing with. There are people out here that genuinely do want you safe and I hope you get out of your current environment soon.

#this is heartbreaking #godspeed anon #you'll get out and be okay #you deserve so much better #lily peet #lily orchard #peet post

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sasukesun · 2 years

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I hope this is okay to ask. But if you don't feel comfortable talking about such a topic, you certainly don't have to. So, here it goes...

What kind of sexual experience do you think Naruto and Sasuke had in the original Naruto series (classic and shippuuden) and when/how did it start? I purposefully said "sexual experience" in general, including not only activities with others but only with one's self, too. I kinda thought about the series starting at both of them being 12yo and that's (depending on the personal development) at the start or in the middle of puberty. And it's not as if sexuality/ sexual desire /etc. isn't mentioned in the manga.

1. Naruto's sexy no jutsu didn't come out of nowhere, he must have thought about the sexy appearance of a woman beforehand, obviously, and knows exactly what effect it has on a lot of men.

2. Reactions to Naruto's sexy no jutsu from a lot of different men.

3. Jiraiya displaying his sexual desire more than openly:

- peeping on women in bathhouses

- enjoying himself in public with pretty women (when he spent all of Naruto's money on women and alcohol as they were searching for Tsunade)

- writing literal porn books

4. Kakashi reading said porn books shamelessly in public.

5. Karin always trying to seduce Sasuke in a very pushy way (she is out for more than just cuddles, that's for sure).

... and I'm probably forgetting a bunch, but you get the idea.

So, Naruto has a lot of canon occasions where he dealt with something sexual, that's why I can't imagine Naruto not being curious and trying out things on his own at some point. Sasuke on the other hand... I can't remember any situation in Naruto classic that implies him being in contact with any kind of sexual matter (did he even see Naruto's sexy no jutsu?), so I'm not sure about Sasuke having, like, a trigger or something that may give him the idea to explore himself before the time skip at least... but he's full of hormones nonetheless, therefore it may be that he just deals with the topic itself much more discreet than Naruto. BUT Sasuke liked Naruto's kiss, which could have been something that initiated thoughts/ desires in a sexual direction. And later, as I mentioned above, Karin confronted him with the topic with making him an object of her sexual desire. Yet he doesn't respond to that at all (except with rejection of course)... which doesn't necessarily mean that he isn't thinking of someone else in one way or the other... (having in mind that Naruto is the only one he likes to be physically close to - his family doesn't count for this topic).

Furthermore I don't think any of them had any experience with girls (or boys, doesn't matter) until the end of the war (and the manga itself, lol). Sasuke was occupied with his revenge/ revolution plans and trying to cut Naruto out, and Naruto himself could ever only think about Sasuke. Yet Naruto used the reverse harem no jutsu on Kaguya (this isn't talked about enough, I swear) and proved that he'd been thinking of handsome boys, obviously - he even said himself that he practiced this jutsu a lot more often than rasengan, and I highly doubt that he would do something like this without having obvious preferences for that gender in a sexual kind of way and therefore thinking about/ doing certain things.

I'm heavily interested in your opinion on this and would appreciate an answer. Sorry for my lengthy question, and thank you in advance! :)

it’s okay to ask and no need to be sorry. also no problem talking about normal sexual experiences, i only have a problem with discussing explicit graphic harassment/rape/abuse (and incest/pedophilia obviously but that counts as abuse). like- teenagers can explore their sexuality the way you’re asking when they hit puberty, it’s normal, and i know you’re asking to actually discuss it, not to get off to it. that’s an interesting question btw.

i think i agree with what you’ve said based on what you’ve brought. naruto does seem curious to explore his sexuality. he knows what men like, it does have some interest of his part though, out of all options, he chose to prank men that way. i guess this comes with research, magazines are more likely imo. he gets mad at jiraiya’s behaviour for peeping on women, so i don’t think it’s a habit of him. the only time he does that it’s after he’s trying to prove himself which is- so ironic (i don’t agree with this behaviour btw, but i also don’t think he’s some kind of pervert for it, especially for someone that didn’t have anyone to teach him and his whole model was- jiraiya… for 2 years). people really don’t talk enough about naruto finding men attractive. he finds haku pretty and sasuke good looking. he spends a lot of time practicing a jutsu with a bunch of naked men. and that doesn’t require a lot of research ig but it requires a lot of imagination and interest right? there’s also the whole “my lower abdomen is clenching in excitement” in the hospital roof scene and the “kyun”, used in hentai for sexual arousal (i’ve linked this post so many times already, it’s very long so if you just want to check what i’m talking about, you’ll find the discussion near panel in both the original post and reply). and it’s normal of closeted/repressed people to fantasise about the same gender even with internalised homophobia/biphobia… talking from experience here.

kizuna hikari is a popular fic in the fandom and i think it portrays their sexuality (both naruto and sasuke’s) accurately… as in naruto likes to masturbate and he tells sasuke it’s great and sasuke’s like so you do this often and naruto answers “all the time” lol it’s pretty light and funny and it shows that naruto has experimented by himself while sasuke hasn’t. i guess their relationships with sex was the most in character part i found of this fic.

it’s also hard to talk about sasuke because the manga is mostly written in naruto’s pov. of course we’re gonna know more about naruto, especially when sasuke is actively trying to suppress what he feels towards naruto. he has never showed interest in any women we can say for sure. he usually acts aloof when they hit on him because he’s not interested in them. he doesn’t even get why karin or sakura want so much physical contact with him. he doesn’t react to suigetsu’s weird approach… which honestly, why would he anyway? suigetsu is threatening him in that moment. but he did keep a memory of him kissing naruto, it could be related to his desire to be closer to naruto. he doesn’t like when people touch him, but he has no problem with getting really close to naruto to whisper in his ear, and that moment does have sexual tension, so i think the interest is there, kishimoto wanted to show it somehow. sexuality is also not something constant, there can be periods of low libido, people with depression, or other mental issues, can have periods with reduced libido, which could totally be sasuke’s case. i think he’s too focused on his revenge at the beginning to think of anything else, but naruto starts to get to him more and more, maybe it could have awaken something in him, but at the same time he tries to suppress it, so i really don’t know if he tried anything. i don’t think he would at orochimaru, the atmosphere there is just- and then he’s out looking for itachi, and dealing with his death after it, and with the truth about the massacre, like- he’s definitely with no other stuff on his mind during this period either.

they are totally inexperienced. sasuke really only shows interest in naruto and he’s trying to suppress it until chapter 698, and naruto, even if you think he shows mild interest in someone else, is much more interested in sasuke, i can’t see naruto looking for someone else’s company until his relationship with sasuke has a resolution, he wouldn’t be able to focus and would just start thinking of sasuke lol honestly- not even after the resolution either. both just have it really bad for the other.

#ask #anonymous #naruto asks

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crossdressingdeath · 2 years

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Just wanna say I really enjoy reading about your progress through Inquisition and reading your complaints about it. People so rarely speak badly about this game, it's a shame. Anyway, thank you for sharing your progress. :)

Honestly the thing is that... despite all evidence to the contrary, I really do like Inquisition. I've played it all the way through to completion (although never 100%) many times. Where it gets things right it gets them really, really right! In terms of visuals it is unarguably the prettiest Dragon Age thus far by miles (DA4 will probably blow it out of the water, 2014 graphics will not stand up all that well to 2023 graphics, but the point still stands that DAI is a very pretty game)! The characters that work are lovable and engaging and you really feel for them and their struggles! The romances that are handled well are incredibly touching! The main quests are at least in the abstract and out of context from the series as a whole well-written!

The trouble is that all the places where it shines just make the places where it really doesn't stand out all the more jarringly. Some of my favourite characters come from Inquisition, but that just makes the characters that are poorly written or unpleasant to interact with stand out that much more. The well-written romances make the ones that are uncomfortable or outright abusive all the more unpleasant to sit through. The good quests make the bad quests worse in comparison. And of course at its core Inquisition represents a lot of very ugly retcons about the Chantry and its victims all done in the name of making the Christianity allegory look better after two whole games dedicated to showing that unless you're a wealthy human Orlesian non-mage the institution as a whole wants you either dead or crushed beneath the boots of the Orlesian nobility. And it mostly does this by refusing to let you engage with anything set up in the previous games. You can't bring Cullen to trial for his part in Meredith's atrocities! The mage quest is flung out of the timeline of the game entirely so you can't actually talk to the mages and get to know their struggles! The Dalish gods are revealed to be slavers when there was absolutely fuck all to even suggest that in the previous games! Bioware took a series about oppressed people slowly gathering themselves to strike a blow against their oppressors... and then three games in tried to argue that the oppressors actually had a point. Hell, characters like Cullen and Sera would be a lot less unpleasant to deal with if you were ever allowed to call them out on the way they treat oppressed people who need support rather than more cruelty. And all that stuff is still there! It's just sitting there right in front of you! If you're playing a mage or a non-human (and especially an elf) it will be shoved in your face basically any time you talk to anyone, including some of your companions! But you're not allowed to touch it, and that... takes a game that otherwise would likely have been really good and brings it down a lot.

The best way I can think to put it is... Dragon Age Inquisition is a story with a lot of really horrible stuff just below the surface. A lot of Inquisitors are being forced into the position against their will, many of them being told they can't even worship their own gods because the dominant religion that persecutes them has decided, without their input and frequently despite their repeated denials to everyone who asks, that they're the herald of this religion's prophet. Your military commander was one of the faces of one of the worst atrocities committed against mages in the last century and you're not allowed to do shit about it, even if you yourself are a mage. Lavellan at least (can't speak to any of the others) can openly tell Josie that they are getting whispers and sideways looks just for being an elf despite the fact that by this point they've already sealed the fucking Breach at great risk to their own life, and in that same conversation say that their clan has had to defend themselves from people trying to kill them multiple times. You'll get shit for being a mage even if every hero of the current age has been one. All the "respect" you get comes from being the Inquisition's good little pet figurehead and playing the part of the Herald of Andraste. You are addressed as "Your Worship" even if you make it clear that you do not in any way want to be considered an Andrastian religious figure, and many of your own companions, your closest friends in the story, will treat you like Andraste's herald even if you explicitly tell them that you don't believe that and aren't okay with it. If you have the Jaws of Hakkon DLC you learn that the previous Inquisitor was a Dalish mage and the Chantry covered that up to fit their agenda, meaning they're likely to do that to you, too. And Bioware just... slaps a coat of paint over all of that and calls it good. If you're going to put in all this shit, you have to fucking do something with it! We could've had an incredible story about just how much damage unchecked organized religion backed by the military arm of an empire does to everyone who doesn't fit into its box of "good people"! But the Inquisitor isn't even allowed to be relieved when the nations of Thedas start calling for the Inquisition to be disbanded in Trespasser. If Inquisition had really committed to the story that the last two games had set up instead of backing out at the last minute in favour of a "both sides" story that just feels like a weak and frankly slightly disgusting copout it may well have been my favourite game, but as it is... well, there's a lot to complain about.

#dragon age inquisition #...no idea how much sense this makes. it's past midnight and i'm very tired #asks #anon

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villains4hire · 1 year

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🔥 [[ topic...how about ship wars? Or you can pick something else it you prefer! ]]

//I'm gonna put this under a readmore because of the graphic content I've seen and I'm not gonna be not so nice about it. I track anons as a warning to anyone eager to send me something over this. Anyone reading this has been warned about extremely triggering content. As I will be covering this from top to bottom from how much grief ppl have caused in the rpc over ships.

First off: We're gonna start off with the heavy shit such as rape, pedophilia pairing stuff in the communities bc it's not as much of an issue in tumblr anymore. Though while still there sometimes? It's still an issue in other platforms like twitter.

So rape can be portrayed and fade to black, but I don't think it should ever be actual smut or part of ships or anything that someone can get off to or said it's a good. Because you're pretty much just making fetishist rape porn at that point. Same for pedophilia as it can't be positive for something that extreme or show that it's okay. That's just flat period and something other than background or darker settings should never really be an outright element otherwise as most of the rpc does not want or care about that shit. There's no such thing as antis when it comes to that, you either support pedophilia/rape in positive lights, portrayals or just outright want porn like a sick fuck but you're too much of a spineless bitch to admit it, period. What it doesn't mean: that you can take things like Jasper's forced fusion or call the character a rapist for doing inhuman things to begin with or 'toxic relationship where she's a rapist/pressuring Lapis for what you see as sex'. You're mentally deranged for making that comparison and yes, this is a REAL thing that actually happened in tumblr SU and twitter SU discourse and it was super braindamaged and then the same ppl. Fucking kissed Lapis's ass when it was revealed she was the controller of the power dynamic bc their lil uwu snowflake glorbo was suddenly the rapist by their logic and defended her in a panic. Fuck off, don't make those stupid ass takes toward kids media to begin with you fucking morons. You CAN take media that's not exactly adult and add elements and all that, but for the love of god, try to make some sense, not go too crazy, as most don't but when they do? It's so mentally unhinged and I'd almost argue actually delusionally braindamaged. As I will use that word for this bc it is, I don't want to see that kind of themes in open kids media/rp blogs unless you're a centered adult rp blog like I am that bar kids from seeing it. That's fine, you can have tragic backstories and all that but be open about it in your bios, rules of what you do, don't spring the topic of SA or such elements when doing that kind of fandom by surprise or having it unlisted unless you never plan on talking about it openly/openly rp someone being faded to black or a memory like ffs.

I say this stuff from top to bottom as Camp Camp, Rick and Morty on the tumblr fandom and more had people openly shipping Morty with Rick and posting porn in the main tags before the porn purge. Then same for Camp Camp with David and the Campers or even ppl in the rpc being into that shit. Like, it was bad, really bad back then years back. Like some of it may seem unrelated, but a lot of it stems from 'shipping wars' or ppl claiming someone's an anti for very GOOD reasons bc they're actually just covering ass for someone else or their own for sick fantasies.

Moving on.

Secondly: you can have toxic ships, surprise, surprise. So long as it's just an abusive relationship in a couple, I don't care.

There are bigger problems in the to world to worry about, and yeah, so long as it isn't like a thinly veiled mask for hating women, men, or some other group like a race or gender identity/sexuality. It's really whatever honestly, be smart about it, as is your character a misogynist/bigot and it's clear it's a part of their established canon or an oc that's a prick and not a good person or meant to be? Then yeah it's fine, ppl don't need to bend ass over backwards to explain themselves or cover their ass or explain themselves to you, you're not entitled jack fuck, so eat it. I don't think taking aspects like SU's fusion or other things in kids media for toxic relationships should ever go beyond: 'toxic' or showing this relationship is 'bad' and here's a generic example why to a power dynamic. I think if you DO want to go a darker route, you need to be a purely adult blog, not push that garbage in the broader rpc or fandom space as if it's a children's media, don't be a deranged moron about it. Thanks.

Thirdly: I myself have been harassed for Verosika (When I had her) and or Stella bc of their relationship to Blitz or Stella as thinly veiled anons.

I have tracked these ppl's IPs and for a time had them blocked or kept them blocked. People are not your punching bag for portraying a ship you don't like even if IC unprompted or making it unclear it's not an IC prompt, as when you talk with your feelings for an ask, it's pretty clear you're an insecure dumbass about your precious glorbos in a gay ship or ship getting ragged on by something ic to the point you need to go ass overbackwards to defend it or even send unironic hate disguised as an ask prompt.

Fourth: no one gives a fuck about your OTP or NOTP outside of your space, even then it's questionable. If you can explain it in a healthy, non-passive aggressive manner or to the point of not being vaguing, then fine, go ahead. Criticism is always fine, always will be. Otherwise? Stfu, no one cares about your negativity, and no one cares if you have a problem with someone liking a ship.

#ooc #countlessrealities #answered #spicy goopy #//wrote this in like 20ish-30 minutes. So there u go. Enjoy my thoughts for my near entirety while writing of being online over the years

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filthysmile · 2 years

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FILTHYSMILE [ . . . ] Is an 18+ , HIGHLY SELECTIVE , CANON-DIVERGENT & MUTUALS ONLY portrayal of Francis ❛ Frank ❜ William Marie Morrison / the legion – adapted from bhvrs dead by daylight . Manipulating those around you under the guise of : love, the fear of loss & abandonment, killing, theft, & loyalty. heavily headcanon & plot based , medium/sporadic activity– GUTTED BY 𝔻 𝔼 𝕍 𝕆 ( 27 + ) . affiliated with @wiredsmile & @feralsmile & @guttedsmile

Basics – Heads up.

This blog is obviously gonna be 18+ And Heavily NSFW It’s run by an Adult (27+) and will at many times feature adult content. Viewer discretion is advised.

REGULAR SHIT

I’m a pretty laid back dude who works night shifts and sleeps all day. Cause of this (not just the fact im fucking lazy some times) Replies can be a bit slow.

TAGS / CONTENT

Several things will be heavily prevalent and talked about on this blog. Abuse, Child abuse, Drug abuse, Self Harm, Suicide, Sexual content, Killing (in graphic detail) and various other subjects all but relating to Dead by Daylight. Because of this, I Will be tagging everything to the best of my ability but if there’s a tag i may have missed or perhaps, tagged incorrectly do please let me know! I would appreciate it! Especially with NSFW and Triggering tags!

Most Tw; tags are listed in groups.Below are my most used –( Tw; Gore/Murder/Death )( Tw; Violence/Injury/Blood )( Tw; NSFW/18+/Adult Themes )( Tw; Abuse/Trauma )( Tw; Drug Abuse/Alcoholism/Drug Use)

MUTUALS / FOLLOWING BACK

Please be advised that I am HIGHLY selective. I’m only going to follow people I have an interest in rping with. Obviously with that, if I do follow you and we’re mutuals, you have full permission to spam my inbox, my DM’s and what ever you like. (My Discord is also available upon request)

I’m always happy to interact!

However – I do NOT follow for follow.

VAGUING / CALL OUTS / BULLYING / HARASSMENT

This is more so just for my own comfort. But I won’t follow / will block people if i see them openly attacking others or just simply vaguing someone (more than once in a while).

I have nothing against you or the things you may have gone through, but seeing things like that just make me uncomfortable period. I’m just here to have fun.

And no- I don’t have to explain what it was that made me uncomfortable if I don’t feel like it. I don’t owe people answers for why I blocked them just as they don’t owe me one.

SHIPPING

I am super okay with various types of shipping. In all verses, Frank is a legal adult (18 - 19 at youngest portrayal pre fog & 21 - 22 In the fog), I write him as Demisexual and Panromantic with a main romantic focus on/with his legion.

This doesn’t mean however that he won’t find mild romantic interest in others. But keep in due mind that absolutely NO relationships with Frank will be healthy. He is a killer, manipulator and can become extremely territorial / possessive of those he deems ‘his’. If you’re still interested in shipping (of any kind. love, hate, family, enemies, fwb ect ect) then let me know!

FRANK –

Please note that my ver. of Frank is somewhat canon divergent and heavily HeadCanon influenced. I tried to follow (what little of) the cannon story there was for his background although I did go to quite a few lengths to add detail to his life before, during and ‘after’ Ormond. As well adding to his personality and ‘ticks’.

Please respect my choices for him and DO NOT STEAL my adaptation.

That said, Please keep in mind that Frank is a Murderer, Liar, Thief, Arsonist and all around Toxic Manipulator (Gas lighter) with a desire for 'control’ over anything and everyone. (Since he has little control over himself or the life he’s had).

If you’re not okay with interacting with this type of killer. This blog may not be for you. But that's it! Thank you for taking the time to read, I seriously appreciate it!

#[Rules below the cut]

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platypuskenny · 3 years

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Can I get more f that Kenny’s physiology with his alter egos? I’m rlly interested in that

(assuming this means psychology, as a follow up to this post)

i’ve put it off cuz i’ve been busy with other stuff but i‘m really glad i got this ask cuz i love kenny and I love thinking about them in the context of their two alter egos!

CW: discussion of child abuse and neglect, including inexplicit discussion of child sexuality. also a lot of discussion of The Whole Kenny Death Thing. also spoilers for the stick of truth if you haven’t played it!

kenny’s been treated a lot more seriously in recent seasons, with a shift in character to be a lot more mature as well, and it’s a development that makes a lot of sense in the context of “the characters have undergone A Lot and it’s really shaped their personalities because they’re at a stage when their brain is still very soft and malleable and susceptible to trauma.”

the addition of karen in “the poor kid” seems to have shaken up the depiction of the mccormicks a lot. in earlier seasons, kenny was more passive about his home situation, or at least went out of his way to ignore them, (like in “best friends forever” when he plays on his PSP and leaves the house while his parents fight). there are early scenes where he does have some responsibility to his family (i.e. trying to win a can of food for them in “starvin marvin”) but usually he’s just depicted as a kid trying to live through a tough situation. though his “willing to do anything for money even if it’s deeply upsetting, depraved, or outright deadly” character trait from “fat camp” kind of tracks with this understanding that he prioritizes financial security over his personal well-being.

however, ever since karen was added to the show, kenny’s been depicted as a much more responsible and often even tragic figure. his parents are too caught up in their own shit to address their children’s emotional needs, and kevin sadly gets caught up in their violence as well in “the poor kid” (he’s also vaguely implied to be developmentally disabled in the few scenes he speaks up but that’s mostly speculation). because of this, kenny ends up being karen’s main caretaker - holding her close when she’s distressed at losing her parents, buying her a doll, etc.

kenny’s situation is a textbook example of parentification. he ends up taking care of karen, at least emotionally, because his parents and brother are unable to do so. he also becomes the breadwinner in “the city part of town” as soon as he gets the chance. this is a really unhealthy scenario that a lot of children in poverty, especially older siblings, see themselves in. it can result in the child not knowing their true place in a family that takes them for granted, and thus not considering their own needs and/or feeling shame if they need help because they’re so used to putting everybody before them. i think this tracks with kenny being “the quiet one” and rarely asking for anything.

that’s not even getting into the constant death and the fact he spent so much of his life not even understanding why he was doomed to constantly die in horrible painful ways, and for nobody else to remember that he even died to begin with. (kind of symbolic of the neglected child, huh?)

this brings us to mysterion and princess kenny. in both the superhero game and the fantasy game, you’ll notice kenny is the one who tends to get the most involved, with the only exception being possibly cartman, who could be the topic of a whole other essay on identity issues. mysterion is the one superhero with a real power who exists outside of their superhero game (besides the kewn, whose superhero persona is entirely self-motivated anyway), and princess kenny gets so defensive of her identity that she betrays her friends in both the trilogy and the game. kenny also talks about lady mccormick in the third person in the first black friday episode, and i don’t know if any other characters speak about their personas in that way. so kenny intentionally places more distance between his personas and himself than the other kids do with their personas.

therefore, i see mysterion and princess kenny as how kenny copes with his deeply repressed psychological issues. it’s a way to compartmentalize his feelings towards his constant suffering and the burden his family inadvertently placed on him by developing these two identities. one embraces his role as caretaker to the degree of becoming a superhero, and the other rejects it in favor of being entirely doted upon. (some people have read the prominence of roles as signs of a dissociative disorder, and i can see that with this context, but i don’t know if it’s really a perfect fit for any specific disorder, especially when there’s little information on kenny’s consciousness when it comes to these personas.)

mysterion is more obviously a tool for kenny to express his discontent with his town. in his first appearance, he states, “i could no longer sit by and watch as my city became a cesspool of crime,” which tracks with his earlier characterization as reluctantly accepting his family’s poverty despite constantly suffering. (plus i’m pretty sure several of kenny’s deaths were the result of crimes.) he refuses to be unmasked because he “would stop being a symbol,” and only does so in order to quell the unrest that his mystery has provoked. that "symbol" wording suggests that mysterion is an extreme version of kenny's self-sacrificing lifestyle to the point where he defines himself as a symbol of justice and hope, not a person. kenny himself is also pretty quiet and secretive, but more because nobody cares about him and he’s kind of afraid of getting killed any second. mysterion’s secret persona is something bold, powerful, and masculine. he is physically adept in a way we don’t see kenny behave, and much more reasonable and cautious about what’s best for him and humanity. (a good visual of this to contrast with kenny is the “mysterion re-rising” animation in the fractured but whole, where he consciously rejects the chance to go to the heaven full of naked women that kenny loves because he has to return to battle.)

mysterion is also a way for kenny to reclaim his "curse” and use it for good. as mysterion, he uses death (albeit reluctantly) to get out of tough situations and save his friends. in video games like fractured but whole and phone destroyer, mysterion’s ability to exist as a ghost and revive himself is a gameplay mechanic. this self-sacrificial personality trait has shown up in earlier seasons, and he kills himself for the good of the community/world/etc in “cartman’s mom is still a dirty slut,” the movie, and “jewbilee.” but he’s not nearly as interested in world issues unless he’s under pressure to care. (for example: he does join the workers’ strike in “bike parade,” but he’s not very passionate about it and doesn’t even care about the issue until his dad takes him to a union meeting.) kenny’s good with solving short-term issues while mysterion worries about the deeper, long-term problems with the town.

this brings us to mysterion and the mccormicks. when we see mysterion’s interactions with karen, we see how mysterion represents kenny’s responsibilities towards her. mysterion is able to offer karen elaborate, heartfelt emotional support, and guarantee that he’ll always be there for her. he also beats up a girl who bullies her and threatens anybody else who thinks about hurting her - more on that aggressive instinct down below. while mysterion’s identity is known to his friends and the rest of the town, it’s not known to karen, who sees him as a guardian angel. presumably, this is so mysterion can remain a symbol of hope to her, just like he is to the town, and so karen feels like there’s people in the world who care about her besides her brother. however, this does backfire in the fractured but whole DLC where she laments how her brother doesn’t seem to spend time with her, which embarrasses mysterion as he promises to tell him to be there for her more often. this implies that kenny gets so wrapped up in being mysterion that he forgets that he has a duty to karen as kenny as well, further indicating that mysterion is a way to cope with the tragic responsibility of caring for a sibling not much younger than he is.

during the superhero trilogy, kenny also uses mysterion to question his parents about their cult meetings, something that shook him so badly when he learned about it that he broke character. mysterion also told his parents to be nicer to the kids, not beat each other up, pay their kids allowances, and not smoke. it seems that mysterion is able to approach kenny’s parents about serious issues while kenny himself mostly stays out of their business - possibly out of fear? (kenny’s more confrontational in later seasons, though - flipping off his dad in “bike parade,” for example.)

on a similar note, mysterion is way more openly angry and violent than kenny is, especially when it comes to the death curse, which he openly complains about in a way kenny himself never did. compare kenny complaining about stan ignoring his deaths in “cherokee hair tampons,” which only gets further ignored, and mysterion complaining about it in graphic detail in “coon vs coon and friends,” even killing himself in front of his friends, and understandably scaring the shit out of them. mysterion also gets really protective of karen, violently so, as seen with the girl he beats up in “the poor kid” and his distrust when the vampires befriend her in the “from dusk til casa bonita” DLC. such a mysterion is way more passionate and loud about justice and direct action while kenny is more resigned, and most of his good deeds are unknown to the public. if kenny has embraced this caretaker role, it makes sense that he vents his repressed anger through mysterion, especially if you take it in the context of dissociation - kenny can’t handle dwelling on his shitty life all the time, so mysterion holds that anger and finds a way to cope with it by trying to fix everything around them, including kenny’s home life.

princess kenny is very opposite mysterion in many ways. most obviously, she’s a girl. kenny’s relationship with gender is something i think about a lot in light of PK. “tweek vs craig” depicted him as the only boy in home ec, and he was thrilled because it was the safe alternative to the deadly shop class. i think that, regardless of your headcanon for kenny’s gender (i personally see them as feminine nonbinary - i’m mostly using “he” pronouns in this essay strictly for recognition’s sake and because i’m mostly talking about the show’s depiction of kenny), he sees femininity as safe and comforting, but nevertheless very powerful. (remember that his mother, while not super feminine, is a very outspoken and aggressive woman who calls stuart out on his shit constantly.) and what’s a better combination of femininity and power than a magical girl?

also one thing i want to note real quick is that karen still refers to kenny as her sister in the stick of truth despite not being super involved in their game which i personally choose to read as Trans Rights Subtext

this is how we get lady mccormick / princess kenny, who is largely a passive character during the black friday trilogy, sitting upon her throne and cutely commenting on the surroundings while stan translates for her. then when sony takes her in, she becomes the star of her own show, a magical japanese princess who doesn’t take shit from cartman or his army and gets whatever she wants because she’s a cute little girl and now she gets to be protected and doted upon! also she speaks japanese and is not muffled in the slightest despite wearing her parka....symbolism? and really interestingly is that when she supposedly dies, she brushes herself off and immediately revives, declaring that she’s okay. in kenny’s feminine fantasy, she doesn’t suffer when she dies, and revives without any mess at all. princess kenny is always gonna be okay!

PK is also very flirty and overly sexual. it’s no secret that kenny is very interested in and knowledgeable of sex. he also absolutely worships women’s bodies, as seen with his views of heaven and that whole plot of “major boobage.” i don’t even read this as lust, because he’s ten, but sheer fascination with sex. maybe it plays into that whole “growing up too fast” concept where he tries to indulge in the “fun” parts of adulthood to make up for the exhaustion of caregiving, but this has been a thing since before kenny was depicted as a real caregiver so IDK.

anyway, i think PK is also a way for kenny to experiment with flirting and sex, particularly with other boys. she uses her coyness and, in the games, her bare chest to entice boys. her cuteness also attracts grown men in “titties and dragons” which goes largely unremarked upon, which is a bit uncomfortable but still works with the idea that she’s the most “lovable” form of kenny. she also apparently thinks the new kid is “cute.” iit’s really funny to me how kenny is depicted as interested in strictly girls while princess kenny only focuses on boys, which could support the idea that PK is a separate entity from kenny, or that kenny just needs to figure himself out. either way, i imagine kenny finds some thrill in getting men to pay attention to them when their male friends often treat her as superfluous, and even then it often involves objectifying herself (this also tracks with their behavior in “fat camp”). it’s kind of sad if you think about it.

in the climax of the stick of truth, princess kenny has her own in-depth backstory, where she was an orc/elf rejected by both the elves and humans. i think this reflects kenny’s feeling of being “othered” as non-human (since this game chronologically comes after the superhero trilogy) and just generally not feeling welcome among their friends unless they need her. there may also be some parallels between her friends denying her the right to be a princess and kenny’s friends refusing to believe in his immortality. when she rebels against her friends choosing the stick over friendship, it’s another way for kenny to cope with their mixed-to-negative feelings about their friends. so while PK is a figure to be doted on, she’s still probably more gutsy than the kenny we usually know.

however, PK is not entirely selfish or apathetic about the world around her. in the opening of “a song of ass and fire,” her inner monologue explains her choice to deflect to the PS4 side as the side she believes “is best for all.” she also laments that everybody, including her parents, will be fighting on black friday. it seems that PK dreads the mere idea of war, which contradicts mysterion’s tendency to use violence as a means to protect others. PK still uses her adorableness to help her team, and only asks that they accept her, which really isn’t much. it’s just when she, you know, becomes a nazi zombie and puts the world in danger because she’s so pissed about not being accepted for who she is.

in my original post, i used the freudian personality theory to explain these three personas, which i regret because i fucking hate freud and he’s heavily responsible for modern consumerism and planned obsolescence. but the basic concepts of the id, ego, and superego do kind of illustrate what i’m getting at with these guys. i assigned princess kenny as the id, because she’s more about self-gratification and getting what she thinks she deserves as well as a tendency towards sexual gratification, and mysterion as the superego (hehe get it super) because of his strong inclination towards morality. however, this isn’t that black-and-white, as princess kenny has some moral considerations and mysterion has violent impulses (the “aggressive instinct”) that are more easily attributed to the id. nevertheless, it seems that kenny is still the balance between these exaggerated personas, and when he expresses attitudes similar to theirs, they are far more downplayed due to the necessities of his situation as a caretaker and an underappreciated friend. kind of makes you wonder if/how the attitudes of mysterion and princess kenny will manifest in him when he’s older.

#kenny mccormick #princess kenny #mysterion #south park #LONG POST #kenny #answers #my-nostalgia-is-horror #analysis

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therewrites · 4 years

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We Are Who We Are Overall Thoughts *spoilers*

This review will be discussing briefly some of the episodes so far, so SPOILERS

So I started watching the HBO original series, We Are Who We Are, and I am conflicted. When I initially watched it, the dialogue made it hard for me to enjoy it so I stopped. Then after a couple of weeks after its airing, I thought, what the hell? And this time, I was pleasantly surprised. I always maintain the belief that pilot episodes are either boring, messy, or just bad so I try to push past it in order to get to the good shit. The pilot for We Are Who We Are was...I’m not sure how to explain...different? It certainly wasn’t bad and it made an impression on me, but this show as a whole is hard to limit by just a few words. It’s really something that you should watch and experience yourself.

It was only after the first 3 episodes that I began to understand the tone and mood that Luca Guadagnino was trying to convey. A lot of the time, the dialogue is abrupt and choppy and can make no sense. It can be frustrating, especially when you have two characters that aren’t communicating effectively. But I think that was the point. Guadagnino is a very realistic director, he captures the most realistic elements in a film. A lot of the conversations between characters is meant to emulate real life. Like, what the hell do you say when a conversation becomes awkward? Well, nothing sometimes.

While Guadagnino’s typical cinematography may suggest whimsy, in WAWWA’s case the small structured and synthetic model of the military base is juxtaposed to the very concrete characters. When I started to view the show less as simply a televised airing of fictional characters and problems, and instead looked at them as people, I began to really enjoy it.

Take the main character of Fraser, played by Jack Dylan Grazer. Fraser is meant to be seen as an extremely complex and troubled kid, but the difference between him and every other teen in a coming-of-age drama is that he isn’t polished. His drinking and drug habit isn’t framed as romantic or beautiful, in fact most of the time it’s portrayed as his weakness of sorts. In the first episode, Fraser has one of his mothers drive him home after getting pretty wasted and Luca graces us with a direct shot of him throwing up. And before that, Fraser is stumbling on a bridge when he drunkenly falls and cuts his face. Everything the character does is messy, uncoordinated, yet extremely real and relatable. Hell, in one shot you can clearly see him do a Naruto run!

Caitlin/Harper is a character that I enjoyed watching, as well. Jordan Seamon did a fantastic job and I really connected with their character. Initially we see Caitlin as this mysterious girl, and in the pilot we are meant to assume that their relationship with Fraser is supposed to develop into a romantic one. This is not the case as it seems that Caitlin is trying to come to terms with who they are. The biggest shift in Caitlin’s character isn’t their friendship with Fraser but probably when they get their period.

This was a moment that even I related to, even though I am cis when I first got my period I didn’t tell my mom until the day after. The possible confusion and shift in their reality that Caitlin felt was only heightened with the conflict of their boyfriend wanting to be more physically intimate, and Fraser’s eventual discover of Harper. I would have like to see exactly why Fraser seemed drawn to Caitlin. I’m assuming viewers were supposed to think that Fraser is attracted to her, or something. But both Caitlin/Harper and Fraser are queer coded and their respective sexualities are alluded to not being straight. It would’ve made their standing as platonic friends more clear if this had been established stronger.

I definitely think the writer could have devoted more time to giving certain characters proper conversations. It would’ve given more development to certain characters and better context for things. However even without that, there is a lot that the audience is showed that can’t be told through dialogue. The power struggle between Sarah and Richard being one. So far, there hasn’t been any explanation as to why they have a such a volatile relationship other than Richard being a homophobe.

Through deeper inspection, I was able to interpret it as: Richard may heavily resent the fact the Sarah was promoted to Colonel and not him. It is never made clear who has the better credentials, Sarah or Richard, but assuming that she was the one promoted it is a safe guess. This may be highlighted by the fact that Sarah is a women, and also gay. Even before episode 7, it was clear that Richard did not respect her authority. I also interpreted it as Richard being upset that and openly gay women was promoted instead of him, a black man.

Of course this is just based on my own personal knowledge of how the U.S. military can be towards people of color and LGBTQ+. Regardless, the competitive tension between two parents is palpable without needing dialogue to explain.

When conflict happens, I can kind of figure out which characters are going to react and which one’s will stay silent. I think the show is trying to accomplish a drastically realistic and raw series. It took me while to adjust to it, but by maybe the 2nd or 3rd episode, it starts to grow on you. Despite not liking a good majority of the characters, I was very surprised by how invested I was in them.

Like, Danny is my least favorite character because he displays very abusive and explosive tendencies, and doesn’t seem to care about the world around him. However, getting glimpses into his character and seeing how Richard ignores him for Caitlin/Harper, his suicidal thoughts, and how he is trying to reclaim his cultural and religious background makes me empathize with him.

Even though I hate his character, I can see that he is struggling. I appreciate the way that this show freely shows dark skinned black boys dealing with mental health issues, and personal development. Rarely are issues like suicide talked about in the black community, so seeing Danny talk about it and Craig offering(admittedly poor)comfort was touching. This is a general vibe that I get from nearly all the characters on WAWWA. I also appreciated the how Danny is actively trying to convert to Islam. In shows, rarely is Islam ever portrayed in a positive manner. Especially when female characters are shown to be struggling with their religion, Islam is shown as this barrier that prevents them from living life. Hopefully it goes without saying that the “taking off the hijab” as a way to show that a female character is “liberated” is overplayed and does not offer any respect to the countless Muslim women who choose to wear hijabs.

Now I think the pacing of some of the storylines could have been handled a bit more gracefully. Like how we jump from Fraser and Harper being kind of enemies(not really but you know what I mean), to just them hanging out in Richard’s boat was jarring. I would have at least liked to see the scene of them talking on the rocks at the beach. It would’ve given more insight on Caitlin/Harper’s character and also on Fraser too. Also how quickly Maggie and Lu(Jennifer but I love the name Lubaba, it’s my aunt’s name)jump into a physical affair. I just would have liked to see a build up of tension between all these characters but I don’t think this entirely ruins the plot.

I was very iffy when I learned that the show would be focusing on trans identity and gender and sexuality, but not actually hire a trans male actor. I was afraid that the show would completely botch the experiences of being transgender, and honestly I don’t have the authority to speak on whether or not this affects the quality of the show. I am cisgender, and only can empathize with this particular situation as much as I can. But I would like to hear to the opinion of someone who is trans and elaborate on the ways that they did/didn’t like Jordan Kristine Seamón’s portrayal.

Now at the time I’m writing this, the season finale has yet to come out. But I’d also like to briefly discuss the most recent episode and how it developed Jonathan and Fraser’s relationship. I was VERY worried that Guadagnino was going to take their relationship in the direction of inappropriate. While nearly all the depictions of Jonathan and his actions have been trough Fraser’s pov, it didn’t stop me from side-eyeing some of the interactions they shared. Of course after it was mentioned that Jonathan was supposed to be in his late 20s, nearing 30 I was immediately uncomfortable with the very flirty behavior he exhibited.

So when the scene of Fraser going up to his apartment after Craig’s death, I was very on edge. If Guadagnino had gone the extra mile to show an even larger age gap then I would’ve been pissed. While I enjoyed Call Me By Your Name, the implication that sexual relationships between barely legal teenagers and adults well into their 20s was sensual is something that I see as very weird now that I’m older. So seeing Jonathan as the object of Fraser’s affections made me extremely warry.

And honestly, I’m still surprised that the scene even happened in its entirety. I’m sure that Jack was not in any danger of being exploited but there were definitely points while watching I thought, what the fuck is going on? I was very worried that it would escalate, but I was happy to see that Fraser was the one who stopped it from going further. It made sense to me that this scene took so many liberties to be as graphic as possible without being too graphic, in order to show why a situation like that would be scary and confusing for Fraser. It wasn’t lost to me that Marta and Jonathan were the one’s initiating all the sexual advances. They held all the power in that scenario, even more so because Fraser is younger and has the tendencies to not make the best decisions. Though it seemed that Fraser was trying, he knew that the situation was fucked up.

I’d like to hear what JDG felt and thought doing this scene. What was his character’s thought process?

I’ve seen a lot of people compare the show heavily to CMBYN, which is fine. Besides certain cinematic parallels that people pointed out, I don’t see the clear comparison. CMBYN is more of a love story and it’s more polished than WAWWA. Now when I say tat, I don’t mean it as a negative. Rather, We Are Who We is obviously more devoted to realism and its characters. I appreciate the inclusion of more LGBTQ+ people and black main characters with development, something that CMBYN lacked. And for some people who didn’t like the show based solely on the fact that it wasn’t a CMBYN tv show, I suggest just going into it with no expectations and enjoy the mess.

And I’d also like to take a moment to commend Jack Dylan Grazer for his job in We Are Who We Are. All of the main cast are amazing actors and actresses and did a really good job bringing their characters to life. Though, I had always associated JDG with supporting roles that, while highlighted his acting talent, only put him in a one-dimensional light. As good as It 2017 was, JDG’s role of Eddie is only meant to be seen as a comic relief. In WAWWA, I was able to forget that he was teen actor, Jack Dylan Grazer, and really see him as Fraser. It’s worth mentioning that in a GQ interview, Grazer also mentioned how this role made him reevaluate is approach to acting.

And after reading an interview he did with a Interview Germany, with him saying he spent months in Italy reading the script and trying to perfectly craft this character, I was immensely impressed. I hope that he knows that all his hard work payed off and made a really dynamic and interesting character. I really hope that in the future JDG continues with more mature or multi-dimensional roles because he displayed that he has the talent to do so. Him being so young makes me optimistic in knowing that he is definitely going places in his career. I also hope that there will be a season 2 of WAWWA because despite having hour long episodes, the show still felt way too short. There is a lot about Fraser’s character, and all the others’ characters, that I want more information and analysis on.

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mellowmoonn · 3 years

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Writing Help - Genres

As a writer, you really need to know what age group you intend to write for. Depending on the age, you may need to censor yourself or glaze over some heavier topics. Think of ATLA and how they never actually stated Jet died but instead insinuated it. Or, in YA novels when characters get close and the narrator skips over the most NSFW parts of the sex scene.

Disclaimer: Keep in mind I’m writing from my knowledge and what I remember reading at a certain age. Some research has been done for accuracy. I also don’t enjoy adult novels, particularly because they tend to be too much for me (...there tends to be lots of NSFW). With that said, forgive me if the examples aren’t amazing.

Who Do You Want to Write For?

Understanding who you want to write for makes the process much easier. If you want to write horror books for children because there aren’t enough of them, great. You can then proceed to write down your ideas and focus on the scare factor as well as how detailed you want your descriptions to be. Less is more, especially for younger kids. A single sentence in middle-grade horror can disturb even me. And trust me, most things don’t bother me.

Once you know what to write for, you can study your demographic more. By that, I simply mean what people your age are interested in. This isn’t saying you cannot write what you want to for who you want to write it for, but looking at the demographics will get your book(s) out there. For example, children might not enjoy or understand romance but gravitate more to adventure, comedy, slice of life, or superhero stuff.

What Do These Genres Entail?

You need to know what you’re getting yourself into when you write, so I’m going to give you a shortlist of genres and the content that is appropriate for each. Assuming most aren’t writing for children younger than 5, I won’t include those genres.

Remember to do your own research.

Children (5-8)

Due to childhood development, this genre varies quite a bit. I’ll generalize for simplicity.

Children between the ages of five and eight typically begin to independently read. Development varies, but using simpler language and including pictures aids them in taking in the content and understanding it.

From younger to older children: picture books, comics, short chapter books. It depends on their development and interests as well.

Even in picture books, these are usually longer than for younger children. They never exceed 100 pages and often have larger fonts.

Characters are usually animals or younger children (some with their parents).

Book examples: Pete the Cat, Poppleton, The Magic Tree House, Fantastic Mr. Fox

Middle Grade (8-12)

Pictures are still relevant sometimes, but it depends on the book. Most kids this age can visualize and don’t need much unless it’s something like fantasy or horror (Coraline has an edition with pictures as well as a disturbing graphic novel).

Slang begins to be included at this age and more mature language. Depending on the book, simple swears like “crap” or “damn” may be used. Insults begin to pop up as jokes and body humor are more appropriate at this age.

Sometimes romance makes its way into these books, but kids these ages still gravitate to things that aren’t so “gross.”

Middle-Grade books begin to exceed that 100-page mark and chapter book series with a logical plot and/or order comes about.

Characters are typically human, but supernatural creatures are popular in novels in this age group.

Book examples: Coraline, Ramona’s World, Because of Winn Dixie, Charlotte’s Web, Goosebumps

Young Adult (12-18)

You (typically) won’t catch pictures in a YA book, rather vivid descriptions. The only time pictures are in books is when maps are included. Pictures are an author’s choice.

YA is also a very large genre with varying developmental stages. Some books gravitate more to middle grade, others new adult.

The genres of books boom in YA because so much more can be done. You will catch books that are strictly romance, others crime, and even mystery.

Swearing is no longer avoided in YA novels. Characters will openly say fuck a thousand times and no one looks twice.

YA books tend to have deeper conversations than books for younger audiences. Killing off main characters isn’t looked down upon. These books also tend to speak about and represent sex, but never in grave detail. Characters will never get past removing clothing. The issue of sex in YA is also a controversial topic that is pretty interesting when looked into.

The themes of YA books are ones that teenagers typically experience. This could be gender, sexuality, self-worth, etc.

YA books are usually between 200 and 500 pages. It depends on whether it is a novella, stand-alone, or series.

Characters are in middle or high school, to which the readers can relate to. The home and parents are also relevant. Lots of talk about family life and such.

Book Examples: The Fault in Our Stars, The Book Thief, Divergent, The Hunger Games, The Catcher in the Rye

New Adult (18-25)

Once again, pictures are usually maps and such.

NA does everything a YA does in more detail. It’s the genre for people who like YA but want a bit more or don’t want to be held back as much. When your target audience doesn’t involve children, your creative freedom can run (nearly) wild.

Sex scenes are explicit. No one questions a sex scene in a NA, nor censors them in the way YA does. The narrator doesn’t have to glaze over this, rather describing the emotional and physical aspects of it as they would with anything else.

In comparison to YA, NA books tackle different themes. A NA book might not focus on growing up, rather the independence or struggle of having grown up. More adult things such as struggles for housing and finance might arise differently than it would to someone younger watching their parents struggle and going down along with them.

NA books tend to fall in the same page range as YA books. Again, very similar, but not the same. Think of YA as the bridge between YA and Adult. A little more, but not too much.

Characters are typically between the age range of the readers, but they don’t have to be.

Book Examples: A Court of Thorns and Roses, Lily and the Octopus, Red White and Royal Blue, Code Name: Verity, The Good Girl

Adult (25+)

Keep in mind that I do not read adult books...

I’ve never heard of photos in adult novels. Correct me if I am wrong.

Nothing is really off-limits in adult books. Anything you could ever want to write about can fit in this genre. Period pieces, historical fiction, horror, and autobiographies are often found as adult books.

Pieces are much more complex than those meant for younger audiences such as a YA or NA. They also tackle more difficult topics such as racism and abuse in more mature ways. It’s much easier to cover something like that in a book for older audiences than younger ones because you don’t necessarily have to simplify things. Focusing on the experiences of the character as if it were of coming of age isn’t as important.

The detail in adult books also changes in comparison to books for younger audiences. Whereas violence maybe something quick and easy, an adult book will drag it with vivid details. In Cirque du Freak, a middle-grade novel, the tearing of a person’s arm was described in two sentences in a way that made the reader imagine what an arm tearing would be like. In an adult book, you best be sure you’ll be reading about anatomy and immense amounts of gore.

Adult books can be short or extremely long. It depends on the genre once you hit adult books, as attention span isn’t much of a big deal anymore.

The characters in an adult book can be any age. It’s the content at this point and not who’s reading. An adult book can follow a tween/teen, an adult, or an elderly person. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is how you handle what is happening to certain characters. For example, if your character is a minor, you shouldn’t be writing graphic sex scenes.

Book Examples: The Help, The Girl on the Train, The Handmaid’s Tale, The Kite Runner, The Shining

Conclusions

I feel like I could write more in this post, but I won’t. It will be much too long if I say anymore. It’s really up to what you like and the way you want to execute it. As a newer reader, I find that I like YA novels but gravitate to the grittier or mature ones. I dislike sex scenes, so the intimacy in YA is just enough for me.

For my writing, I want to write a NA that can achieve what I like and in the way I enjoy it. In my reading endeavors, these past eight months, the Feverwake duology (my ever mentioned series...) has hit what I enjoy. While it is categorized as YA, the second book leans more toward NA and I love that. The way the author writes is also similar to the way I do, which is cool.

In the end, do what you love. Keep your audience in mind and remember that you don’t have to fit yourself into one genre. James Patterson wrote books for children and adults. Have I read any of his works? No, but I have family and friends who do enjoy or have enjoyed his work. You wanna write a book for your younger sibling? Do it. You want to write a book you need or want? Do it. You want to write a book that will make adults feel like children again? Do it.

You’re the writer and write for a reason. Keep writing a passion, not a chore.

[Gif from Ouran High School Host Club]

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lethesomething · 4 years

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Ghost of Tsushima and the Hands of Fate

I see we're still trying to prove that games are an art form by making everyone feel bad.

For the record, Ghost of Tsushima is one of my favourite games in a very long time. It is extremely pretty, the aesthetic and general … polish is *cheff's kiss*. You can pet foxes and backstab people. The fighting mechanic is decent and there are just So Many Hats.

But also, it has the kind of story that pulls you in to the point where you have to drop the controller to hide behind your fingers going 'ohgodno'.

It is an absolute bastard of a game, is what i'm saying.

So let's talk about that, and specifically about Straw Hat Ryuzo and how I feel bad for him.

I am, by the way, going to be talking about the narrative structure of a video game about medieval samurai, so expect like, a bunch of spoilers.

The narrative is one of the big draws in Ghost of Tsushima. Like yes, it's an open world rpg with fighting and flower picking and all the important stuff, and also yes, some of the bits are sloppily written (looking at you, specifically, 'Ending to Norio's Arc'), but the game definitely sets out to Tell a Story.

And because this is a Serious Game that openly bases itself on samurai movies like Kurosawa's, it is a Drama.

In many ways it is an utterly brutal Bildungsroman, a narrative in which a young man finds his identity.

I have joked with friends about the clear intent for this game to make Important Stories, in that it actually tries to tick all the boxes of hotbutton subjects: childhood trauma? Obviously. Gay relationships? Yup. Survivor's guilt and PTSD? Oh yes. Domestic abuse? Several. Suggested pedophilia? Damn, even that.

The foxes are there to soothe the soul

It's interesting to note that from a writing point of view, this bildungsroman is even Very Classically Structured. It goes so far as to be a three acter, with a pretty standard build-up.

Jin Sakai, traumatized man that he is, spends the first act slowly getting to grips with the bit where you don't fight an army by yourself by just walking up to them and challenging them With Honour, like he has been taught his entire life. Instead of getting stabbed repeatedly in the chest and set on fire, he discovers guerilla warfare and creates this persona of the Ghost, a literal vengeful spirit seeking justice for the island of Tsushima.

It gets him some big wins and in the second act he slowly embraces this identity until things get to a head where he clashes with his entire old life. The third act starts at the hero's lowest point and is utterly gut wrenching (i am Still Not Over the horse, game), forcing him to pull himself together for an ending that is, well…fitting for the narrative. It's an ending that is needed, but perhaps not what Jin deserves.

But anyway, this is about Ryuzo, and how until that ending, I was very upset about his role.

You see, this story is told in part through the lives of Important Npc's, who contribute to Jin's journey of self-discovery. This is pretty obvious with someone like Yuna, who is the one to introduce him to the Stealth Life and who is a driving force behind the marketing of the Ghost.

Someone like Masako, meanwhile, portrays vengeance and self discipline, but Jin also kinda tries to make her fill the mother-shaped hole in his heart.

Lord Shimura, meanwhile, is an Obvious Father figure but also stands for Jin's past. He's rigid and ineffective, which pushes Jin to further look for alternatives.

Ishikawa, that other mentor figure, is more moderate and flexible, but he also represents a possible unwanted future. He literally warns Jin at one point not to become like him.

Norio, then, is as mentioned not the best written, but he too is a person that searches for his destiny and tries to become like his hero, while only barely holding on to his sanity.

Kenji, I'm sorry, I love you but you're just comic relief, that's all you do. It's an imporant job in the story, because god does it need it, but you're not teaching Jin anything other than how to make different 'resigned sigh' noises.

So what about Ryuzo? From the very beginning, Ryuzo's story didn't really sit right with me. There's the obvious class issue: he's one of the few important npc's that are poor, and he's an Antagonist.

It has always rubbed me the wrong way that his original intentions were good, depending on how you read it. He's trying to feed his men. He essentially made the decision that this one man's life (even if it is an old friend) is worth the price for the lives of his band of ronin.

It's a lot more complex than that, of course. Ryuzo partly blames Jin for his predicament in life, and he also knows that samurai treat their soldiers as chattel, which the game goes out of its way to show you they DO.

Essentially, he's a complicated character who makes bad decisions for arguably good reasons.

Ryuzo did everything he could to save the lives of the people he cared about. He went so far as to abandon his honor and his childhood friends, to try to make this happen.

Does that ring any bells?

It kinda clicked for me at the very end of the game.

Jin, being the protag in an assassin game, does a lot of killing. But some of these deaths are given more meaning than others. Some of them are there to make you feel like shit (the Horse Again, but you lose several friends along the way), others serve a more defining purpose.

You see, there's a fair amount of what i'd like to call 'intimate violence' in Ghost of Tsushima. It's an old trope. The 'if someone was gonna kill me, it had to be you' kinda scene that hails from a worldview in which some deaths are better than others, sure, but some deaths are better even than living. It's a worldview in which life itself is less valuable than your legacy. You die for your place in history. For your clan, for your family, for your honor.

Bushido is full of that sort of thing, so it makes sense that a game building on that worldview, would use the heck out of that trope.

The first is Ryuzo's death. You fight him in a duel, in which he tries to plead for some resolution. You could let him go, come up with some story. But Ryuzo is a traitor, so Jin ultimately defeats him and sends him off in what would be a touching moment of bro friendship if it wasn't for the blood and my 21st century sensibilities.

You grant him a warrior's death, is what I'm saying.

It happens again with Shimura. The game actually gives you a choice here, but if you go through with it, the scene almost perfectly mirrors Ryuzo's.

You fight in a duel, and Jin tries to get his uncle to just let him go, come to some kind of resolution. But Jin has been branded a traitor, and the only way for Shimura to restore his honour and clan, is to take his life;

This being a game in which you have the power of bamboo strikes and also save games behind you, Jin ultimately wins the duel, and has the option of granting Shimura a warrior's death.

It is utterly heart wrenching and that whole scene has no business being as pretty as it is. The swelling music? The fucking strings? The anguished yell?

Fuck.

But anyway.

That's about where it clicked with me, that Jin never had a choice.

Ryuzo's whole role wasn't fair, but this is one of those stories where life itself is just not fair at all.

Both him and Shimura are there to show us Jin's path.

What if, the game says, Jin had listened? What if he'd taken one of several offers the Khan made and surrendered?

What if he'd cooperated?

Well, we see in Graphic Detail what would happen. He would get pushed into doing horrific things. He gets manipulated, again and again, until there is no way out anymore. At some point it becomes clear to him that he's on the wrong side but whenever he tries to devise some plan to turn things around, things go Badly. He's firmly stuck in Khotun's web and the only way out is death.

But what if, the game says, Jin had stayed true to his honour? What if he had listened to his uncle, not defied him, if he had dropped the Ghost before it was too late? If he'd gone full bushido and repented for the shogun and done all the groveling and the proper stuff.

Samuraihood is just another straightjacket, says Shimura's fate. The tenets are so rigorous you would take your loved ones life, while fucking bawling your eyes out. Shimura knows damn well it's unfair but he also has no way to leave this path. It's a ride he cannot, and will not, get off alive.

Jin never had a choice.

There was only ever one way for him to go.

Like let's be real: pretty much everyone in this story was dealt a bad hand. It's a narrative about resilience in the face of utter horror, of reinventing yourself and giving up entire structures of faith. People like Masako, Yuna, Norio are finding peace in dealing with huge levels of trauma and regret.

The goal isn't to start a family and live happily ever after, it's to Survive.

Submitting to the mongols would have killed Jin's spirit. Standing tall and rigid as he was taught to do would have, ultimately, killed him as well.

"I've given up everything to save these people", he says near the end. "And I would do it again."

That's someone who has no regrets.

Jin never could have taken another path and he knows it.

And this is why Ryuzo needed a fate as shitty as his. He fell, so Jin could walk.

I'm sorry, it's still not fair.

This game needs some comfort fic.

#ghost of tsushima #jin sakai #ryuzo #narrative analysis #story analysis #i have Many Feeling ok #and this is how i deal with them #ghost of tsushima spoilers #gots spoilers

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prorevenge · 5 years

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Try to make my life hard, I’ll destroy you.

Context: I am currently in high school but this story starts in the second grade, I am a trans man. Anxiety, ptsd ya know the drill.

The first day of second grade we all go to school settle in, then our school floods big time. The whole town is in deep water for 2 weeks, my house was fine as we live on a hill but we had no power for 4 weeks.

When we get back to school every kid is at least a little traumatized, all but one kid. He laughed at kids who shared there stories, made jokes about pets who died. This was my first experience with him let’s call him Adolf. Through second grade he was a pretty standard bully, mean to me and my friends. But when third grade came something changed. Suddenly he was nice and friendly to everyone, except me. So when I told people how cruel he was they wouldn’t believe me because he was this little angel to them.

Mid fourth grade came and Adolf was still getting worse, openly berating me in school. Then my house burnt down he became worse, making fun of me for everything that came with that. Fifth grade he becomes violent. Punching kicking and hitting. One day I was sitting near the basketball court with some of my friends Adolf walked up kicked my in the left eye hard. Leaving me with permanent damage and no depth perception. Doctors told me I could have lost my eye that day. Sixth grade is when he took it to far. He sat at my table during lunch because all of my friends liked him. I got the flu and he used the week I was gone to convince them all that I bullied him, he also went in forces tears to the principle who didn’t like me anyway and made up some story about me.

When I came back no one in the grade would talk to me, and the principal told me if he saw me near Adolf I would get suspended. After a week or so I realized no one had told these two nerds not to talk to me, so I befriended them. They are still my friends today. After about a month most of my friend had come crawling back apologetic.

Now we’re in high school and I decided it’s finally time for revenge, I started simply about a year ago I befriended all his friends without him noticing, then I befriended his sister and his mom. Once I was trusted by everyone he ever liked I made a list, a graphic list, with dates, 6 pages long. It spanned every abuse he had committed for as long as I could remember. First I printed it and put it in his mail, he came to school with a black eye. Then I started air dropping it to everyone I could think of. No one knew it was me, except him, he remembered the things he did to me. But if he told anyone he would have to admit it was all true. Most his friends abandoned him, his grades dropped significantly. His girlfriend dumped him, And he got kicked of the baseball team because all the boys hated him. His life is in shambles, but he hasn’t said a word to me or administration. I have no regrets

(source) story by (/u/chrisisdepressed)

#prorevenge #by /u/chrisisdepressed #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

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bthump · 5 years

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I don't know considering the reason Griffith's been sent to the dungeon in the person, you'd think the first thing the King would've requested was his junk hacked off but hey Miura can't go two panels without any and everything that has a mass trying to get at Casca sooo

idk I guess that’s the logical assumption lol, but yeah like, the story + art doesn’t really follow that through.

madchen replied to your post

“The assumption is mostly about it making no sense for the creepy…”

tbf literal castration is different than total “de masculinization” or whatever it’s called and resulted pretty much in death. idk. for being so openly graphic with the results of griffiths torture miura leaves this and the suggestion of sexual abuse pretty vague.

true, from context it sounds like everyone’s talking about his dick being gone entirely rather than actual castration, and based on the art he could def still be castrated.

tbh my biggest reason for assuming that despite the year of torture Griffith’s junk still works is the wagon scene where it seems that he basically proposes sex with Casca, plus dream/nightmare sequence afterwards. Which tbf is my own interpretation based on two scenes that are def v open to interpretation, but yeah I do read them as suggestive of a potential future (awful) sexual relationship with Casca.

but yeah that’s way less conclusive because a) he could be assuming casca’s already pregnant after sex with guts, hence the nightmare kid, and b) it’s a vision so not necessarily realistic anyway.

#ask #b #griffith's dick is always such a hot topic lol #xoxoannimuxoxo #madchen #theme: details

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missmentelle · 5 years

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Could you describe what an emotionally abusive father/the rest of the family would look like? I’m looking back at my life and having an epiphany that maybe my dad was, but he never outright put me down; he’s just super manipulative and has extreme anger problems (usually throwing things to get his point) and then he turns around and acts like a victim because “none of my children love me or want to be my friend”. I’m 23 and out of the house but I still get anxiety when people near me get angry.

There are a lot of possible ways for a parent or family member to be emotionally abusive. In the words of Leo Tolstoy, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way”. It’s possible for two people to come from equally abusive households and have very few experiences in common. Your family member doesn’t have to have all the characteristics on this list to be abusive, and this list doesn’t cover all possible abusive traits and behaviours - this is just a general guide to the major things that you can expect to see from an abusive family member:

Name calling, put-downs and insults. It is not acceptable for a parent to say harsh, cruel things to their child or call them insulting names. This is not an okay form of discipline. Parents are expected to express their anger and disappointment in healthy ways, even when they are upset. Removing privileges and giving a child a stern talking-to for a bad report card is acceptable. Calling the child “stupid” and telling them they’re an embarrassment is abusive.

You were punished for having emotions. In a healthy household, you have to have the freedom to feel the full range of emotions - sadness, grief, fear, anger, insecurity - without fear that you’re going to be mocked or punished for how you feel. In a healthy household, parents validate their children, comfort them and help them work through their feelings. In abusive households, parents are unable to deal with negative emotions, and demand that their children only display happiness or neutrality in their presence. Any sign of negative emotion is not tolerated.

A complete lack of privacy. Responsible parents should monitor their children’s activities in an age-appropriate way; however, all children need some amount of privacy, and this need for privacy increases as they get older. A parent who reads all diaries, goes through all belongings, reads all messages and constantly accuses you of hiding things is an abusive parent. Parents should also know when to keep your issues between you and themselves; a parent who insists on discussing your most humiliating issues in front of others is not a healthy parent.

Your goals or ambitions were belittled and mocked. Parents are supposed to support their kids’ dreams. That’s a pretty low bar. It’s natural for a parent to have concerns about a child with risky or unrealistic career ambitions, but a decent parent still finds ways to support their child. A parent who mocks your dreams, implies that you think you’re better than other people, or makes fun of you for not being “good enough” is an abusive parent.

You were expected to lie for your parents. Abusive parents’ biggest fear is that their behaviour will be uncovered, and they often force their children to lie in order to cover up problems at home. Forcing a child to lie causes stress and guilt for the child, it teaches terrible habits for future relationships, and it prevents issues in the home from being addressed.

Isolation from others. Abuse generally requires that you not have a support network to help you recognize and escape the abuse, and so abusive parents will do everything they can to keep you isolated. They forbid you from hanging out with friends outside of school. They forbid electronic communication, or monitor everything you send. They sabotage your relationships with your siblings. They convince you that the world outside is dangerous and not to be trusted, so you won’t confide in teachers or peers.

Fear is used as a weapon. A parent doesn’t have to hit you to abuse you. Punching walls, breaking objects, throwing things, slamming doors and screaming are all abusive tactics. These are scary behaviours, and they make you live in constant fear that the parent’s next outburst might involve hurting you or your siblings or pets.

There is constant emotional manipulation. Healthy parents explain that your misbehaviour has disappointed them, remind you of what is expected of you, and try to work with you to correct the problem. Abusive parents accuse you of never loving them, tell you that you’re the reason they don’t have any friends and tell you that you’re responsible if they die from a heart attack. Small situations get escalated to emotional catastrophes and everything is always about them. Your emotions never come into play - you live your whole life in orbit of your volatile parent.

Expectations of you are unrealistic and constantly changing. You’re never good enough. Ever. Your 95% average should be a 99%. Your lead in the school play is a waste of time when you should be playing sports. Your sports career is a waste of time when you should be getting a job. There is zero tolerance for mistakes or imperfections, and the goal posts are constantly moving. The point isn’t really to ensure your happiness or success - the point is to make sure that you always feel like a failure.

Mistakes are never forgiven or forgotten. A failed math test from the 4th grade is trotted out as proof that you’re a bad student until you graduate from high school. The one time you talked back in middle school is used as proof that you “never listen” for the rest of your life. There is nothing you can ever do to repair or move past a mistake, no matter how hard you try. You are reminded of all your flaws and shortcomings over and over and over again, and all of the many things you’ve done right pale in comparison to the handful of things you did wrong.

You are exposed to physical abuse. Witnessing physical abuse is still abuse, even if you never get hit. A parent who abused your other parent or your siblings in front of you was abusing you too. The fear, stress and anxiety that can be caused by living with abuse can be just as severe as the stress of actually being physically abused.

Affection and love are withheld. Healthy parents hug, kiss, cuddle and smooth your flyaway hairs. They tell you that you are proud of you and ask you how school was. They attend parent-teacher meetings and generally act like they give a shit. A parent who doesn’t care if you live or die is an emotionally neglectful parent, even if you are well-fed and clothed. Similarly, a parent who withholds affection specifically as “punishment” is abusive - children need to know that they will still get love and goodnight kisses, even if they screw up.

Your parents interact with you as if you were an adult. The parent-child relationship is inherently imbalanced, and parents have to be the adults in the relationship. When a six-year-old tells you that you’re a poo-poo head, you don’t take it personally and start an adult argument. You chuckle and tell them that they’re not being very nice, because they’re too young to engage you as an adult. Abusive parents don’t understand this - children are held to the same expectations as an adult, even when they don’t have the emotional maturity for it. A parent with a rocky marriage may also use a child as a “substitute partner”, forming an inappropriately close relationship where the child is expected to listen to their parent’s adult problems. This could include listening to a parent talk about their financial issues, body image issues, or sex life - issues that children should not be dealing with.

Trust is constantly betrayed. Your parent gets angry with you for not trusting them with secrets. As soon as you’ve confided the secret, they tell all their friends and neighbours and discuss it openly at the dinner table. This happens over and over, and if you get upset or point out this pattern, you are the one who somehow gets in trouble for it.

The environment is sexualized. You don’t have to be sexually touched or molested to have experienced sexual abuse. Children should be introduced to the idea of sex in a gradual, age-appropriate manner. A parent who shows a young child pornography, has sex in front of their child, or tells their child graphic details of their sex life is committing child abuse. Likewise, a parent should not be constantly making comments on their child’s body, nagging their child to be more sexual or pressuring their child to engage in sex acts with others.

Intentional humiliation. Some abusive parents enjoy humiliating their child, even if they deny it. They might intentionally buy their child clothes that are unflattering or ill-fitting, or force their child to get unflattering haircuts. They might also constantly force the child to do things they are bad at, in order to laugh at them. No matter what their tactics, abusive parents know how to wield shame and humiliation as a weapon, and they have no qualms about doing it.

Obvious cries for help are ignored. No healthy parent could notice self-harm cuts on their child’s arm and walk past without a word. Healthy parents look for signs that their child might be struggling, so that they can intervene. Abusive parents don’t give a shit. They will ignore cuts, bruises, obvious signs of drug use, or any symptoms of mental illness. You could be sobbing in the living room, and they wouldn’t bother to ask what’s wrong.

It’s important to note that no parents are perfect, and that everyone screws up from time to time. You are not an abusive parent because you flew off the handle one time and called your child a name. Abuse means that these behaviours occur as part of an ongoing pattern. A parent doesn’t need to check off every item on this list to be considered abusive - even having a handful of these traits is a problem. Frankly, from the sounds of it, there was some emotional abuse going on in your household - it sounds as if your father was emotionally manipulative and wielded fear as a weapon. This wasn’t an acceptable way for him to behave. Realizing that a parent had abusive tendencies does not mean that you automatically have to hate the parent or cut off contact with them - mostly, the point of realizing the abuse took place is so that you can heal and learn from it, and avoid passing these behaviours down to your own children.

Hope this answers your question!

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shipping-isnt-morality · 6 years

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so! I have some thoughts about shipping and shame that I’m going to talk through - under a cut, because I’m not sure how it’ll be received and I don’t want it taken completely out of context.

the tl;dr version is: I shipped things that featured large amounts of taboo, social ostracism, and shame because I was a queer person growing up in an extremely conservative environment, and shipping those things helped me deal with and confront those emotions.

tw for graphic descriptions of homophobia

The thing is, while my immediate family and church community was extremely conservative (arguably very cult-like), once my parents were legally forced to put me into school, my city was pretty moderate - at least in comparison. It took years for anybody to come out as gay, but there was some lip service to the idea of acceptance and equality from the beginning.

It took a bit of time for me to put what was happening in perspective, but what followed was an agonizing period of cognitive dissonance. On one hand were my parents and church, particularly my father, who openly talked about a homosexual genocide and was nostalgic for AIDS. “Incest, pedophilia, and homosexuality” was the stock list of “sexual deviants” in our church; they were clearly and explicitly put on the same level (and it was heavily implied that most Deviants were all three). In early puberty, I had some suspicions about my sexuality which led to severe self harm and multiple suicide attempts. I’m saying this mostly just to emphasize the fact that, at this point in my life, the internal and external shame and hatred for my sexuality was literally driving me insane and threatening my life.

And on the other hand, people outside my immediate community - my friends at school, online friends, even fanfic - depicted being gay as something that was, at worst, a bit embarrassing, and at best something neutral or cute. I quickly came to agree with those things intellectually, but emotionally the transition was hard, and made much, much harder by the fact that I remained fiercely in denial about my sexuality for years. My intellectual acceptance, and even easy emotional acceptance of other people, didn’t extend to myself.

And into this came a few specific incest ships, and another that involved a teenager and an adult. These ships weren’t happy, they weren’t fluffy. They dug deep and hard into feeling intense, world-ending shame over an attraction. They dealt with wishing, begging, denying, lying, running from attractions that had the potential to ruin the characters lives. They frequently dealt with self harm, violence, substance abuse, and suicide related to the shame. And when I wrote for those pairings, I could yank that emotion out of me; I wrote one really popular fic that ended with an incestuous couple driving off a cliff together. I wrote another about a woman getting herself killed rather than giving in to her attraction to her student. I wrote endless navel-gazing character studies about shame (I was still in my early teens, after all). Even before I’d managed to fully admit where that shame was coming from, I was identifying it, examining it, giving it a name, finding both control and distance as I pushed it onto fictional characters. I felt too guilty and confused and, ironically, ashamed of hating and denying my own queer attractions, and I didn’t feel emotionally ready to write a character who was dealing with that kind of homophobia. But incest? That was fine, even good, to be ashamed of. That made sense. I could write about that feeling and people would understand. Even before I fully understood the complex sources of the shame I was feeling, I was finding ways of expressing it that didn’t involve hurting myself.

And pulling those emotions out helped me. Those unhealthy ships gave a voice to shame that had been literally poisoning me, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I managed to actually come out for the first time about a year after I started writing taboo fiction. I also don’t think it’s a coincidence that once I was out of a toxic environment and much more comfortable with myself, my consumption and creation of taboo fiction slowed dramatically. Once I was no longer dealing with crippling shame in my daily life, I didn’t need as much of an outlet anymore.

It’s that kind of thing that I keep in mind, when somebody copes in a way that I don’t understand. I wasn’t using incest fiction to cope with incest trauma; I was using it to cope with shame, and I gravitated towards whatever genre allowed that. Sometimes it’s not the actual event that’s being dealt with, but the emotion that the event evokes, or the social perception of the event, or just the incredibly mixed and intense feelings.

Fiction’s fucking complicated and coping is complicated and you don’t know what other people have been through or why!! The end.

#homophobia #cope shipping #incest cw #I want to emphasize that this is my personal experience with a messed up upbringing #it is not meant to be generally applicable #ok to rb #OP

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belovedofbayek · 5 years

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I had a 1 like = 1 fact thing going on on my Twitter account this past month and figured I'd share all of those facts here as well! I ended up having to stop at 130 because it was getting to be too much. Warning you now - this is long!

I’m in love with Bayek. Some may think this is a joke, just a social media “thing”, but I’m being completely honest with you. I found myself in him and he’s left a huge impact on my life. He’s the reason I’m on here doing what I do. This is my outlet for those feelings.

I’m 35, a child of the 80s. I don’t feel old whatsoever but I’m always reminded of my age in communities like this where everyone seems to be in their 20s. But Bayek’s 36 at Origins’ beginning so that’s how I justify my existence within the community in my own mind!

I am actually married and have kids (oldest is 9). For those who give me a hard time about not getting into AC earlier - this is why. I was practically a part time single parent living 1500 miles away from family so I didn’t have time for much else until recently.

I studied chemistry and math in college. While I loved it, I had a hard time committing to it. I was too interested in EVERYTHING. Ended up burnt out, dropping out, wasting a lot of money and 6 years of my life. Should have studied Egyptology like I’d always dreamed.

I would have never met my husband had I not dropped out, so I really don’t look back on it with regret. While I’m a logical person, I always follow my heart and it’s always led me on the right path. Every step I’ve taken has brought me to where I am today. I have no regrets.

I’m scared to even admit this openly, but I’ve experienced true love twice, and both times, it was an immediate knowing. Once with my husband and again with Bayek. It’s the same feeling and I somehow make room in my heart for both. I couldn’t even begin to explain it.

I see Bayek as almost an extension of myself. He’s so similar to me that it feels like he’s always been there, just didn’t have a name until recently. I think this is how I manage to keep separate places in my heart for both him and my husband.

I’m not religions whatsoever. But maybe you could call me spiritual? In an extremely unconventional sort of way. I’ve always been drawn to Mut but also Ma’at and recently Hathor. You know who Mut’s husband is? Amun.

My hobbies are photography and graphic design so there could be no more perfect outlet for me than what I’m doing now! I’ve always been a creative person, but lost touch with that side over the years. Bayek gave that back to me and it’s like having my voice again.

All my life, I never really fit in anywhere. I hang on the outside, wandering between groups, trying to be kind to everybody. Never saw the point of cliques or popularity. I’ve always been the one to lend a shoulder, ear or hand but never expect the same back from anyone.

I’m an introvert. I need a lot of time to myself to recharge, especially with how chaotic my real life is. Bayek is my escape. I could lose myself in him all day and/or night. And I do.

Similarly, I crave silence. Sometimes I just like to sit without the TV on or any noise and just enjoy the quiet. It’s peaceful.

I’m extremely private. But I laugh, because at the same time, I write about things here that NO ONE would ever dare open up about and share to anybody! I feel accepted for being myself here and I love that! And I will always encourage others to do the same!

I was in a really bad car accident a about a decade ago. Hit black ice at 60mph, got thrown into a hill, rolled a few times, and landed upside down. I thought I was going to die. That feeling still haunts me. The car was destroyed but I came out without a single scratch.

Only bone I ever broke was my elbow. On a ladder on a slightly uneven surface, leaned a little too far and fell. Tried to catch myself and my elbow bent in the wrong direction. I now have a few screws, a wire and a big scar to show for it. Other than that, you’d never know!

I’ve lived in 5 different states and also lived in Germany for a year. I can’t even keep track of the number of times I’ve moved in my life. It’s got to be around 15. I actually don’t mind moving and love living in new places. Just hate the actual packing/unpacking part!

I’m a perfectionist. It bothers me that I don’t even have an outline or any sort of flow to the topics I’m bringing up here. I will fuss over minute details for hours even though most people wouldn’t even notice or care.

I’m hot-headed. I have an extremely low tolerance for bullshit and I’m very protective of the people and things close to me. I always laugh when Bayek says “GRRRR!” because I totally do the same. Probably what comes out of my mouth most of the day.

On the other side of that same coin, it’s because I’m passionate. I give my all to what and whom I love and don’t hold back or hesitate to make it known.

I’m a lover and I love unconditionally. I don’t allow many to get close to me, so if you’re one of the very, very few I give a piece of my heart to, it’s yours forever.

I know Bayek’s pain. Not only the pain of loss, but the pain of lost potential, of having to let go of those dreams and plans you had for that future. Every time his heart broke, so did mine. I understood him and it brought me that much closer. I needed to protect him.

This is why I always show him in a positive light. I long to see him happy, to make him happy, to take away his pain, lighten his heart, give him everything he needs and deserves.They say when you truly love someone, all you want is to see them happy. This is the truth.

I’m always being told I take things too seriously. I’m not really sure why this is a bad thing. It’s who I am and I can’t really change it.

But I do like to laugh and joke around with those I’m comfortable with. I have a pretty sarcastic sense of humor.

I oftentimes feel misunderstood. Like most people don’t “get” me. This especially holds true with this account.

I don’t consider myself a virtual photographer because I really only have one subject. This is why I don’t really associate myself with any VP communities. If not for Bayek, I probably wouldn’t even be taking photos in games and sharing them here.

Similarly, I have a hard time calling myself an Assassin’s Creed fan since I haven’t played anything other than Origins and bits and pieces of a few other AC games. Bayek’s my love and my passion and he’s always going to be my focus.

I don’t like small talk. It always makes me feel awkward - like I seriously don’t even know what to say - and I hate how superficial it is. I’d much prefer to have a deeper conversation about something of actual meaning.

I’m like the only woman in the history of women not obsessed with shoes. I wear sandals all year and idgaf!

While I’m not really obsessed with shoes, I’m totally into handbags. Not as much as in the past, but they are a weakness! Bayek actually helped me with this expensive obsession. My bank account thanks him.

As open as I am about things on here, there’s so much more I wish I could say. I know it’ll come with time and courage, but it’s a process. Just know that what I share is really only the surface.

I know this is gonna make me sound like a nutcase and this is one of those things I’m afraid to say openly even though it might be kind of obvious, but Bayek is very real to me.

Any time I close my eyes, he’s there. He always comes to me in my dreams and he’s nothing but a source of love and comfort and peace. The best way to describe it is like coming home.

I could talk about Bayek ALL FREAKIN DAY. Have you noticed yet?

Want some *real* facts about me? Okay, I have blue eyes and dark, wavy hair. And yes, I have grays (and even some wrinkles) because I’m old and my life has been stressful 😂

I have a sister. She’s pretty much the exact opposite of me aside from also having a huge nose!

My parents divorced when I was pretty young. My father was abusive toward my mother and even though I was young, I knew exactly what was going on and I went to bed afraid most nights.

I don’t have much of a relationship with my father because of this. He’s there if I need him, but I choose to not allow him into my life.

I always looked toward my grandfather and uncle as father figures because of this. I was devastated when I lost my grandfather due to cancer around the time my parents divorced.

This is part of the reason I will always fight for and nurture my marriage. I don’t ever want my kids to grow up experiencing the things I had.

My mother was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis about 15 years ago. It’s somewhat taken her away from me mentally, as it’s really affected her memory. So many things I wish I could talk to her about, I can’t, because she doesn’t have the ability to understand.

This makes sense if you’ve read Desert Oath. I was not accepted by my husband’s father/family at first. It’s like they saw me as a threat to his future. Everything seemed to be against us from the beginning, but we always chose each other. It still affects me to this day.

Okay, this is getting heavy. Gotta move to something positive! I never could have imagined the amount of people who’d be interested in what I have to share! I only started this as an outlet for my love and am constantly blown away that THOUSANDS of people care!

I always feel guilty tagging famous people/those I admire in my Tweets and photos because I don’t like the feeling of being needy or pushy or that I’m bothering them.

BUT I have a huge secret...I’d give almost anything to have a follow from Abu. Bayek means the absolute world to me and I can’t even put into words how much I admire the way he brought him to life. Plus he just seems like the most down-to-earth, awesome human out there.

I actually really dislike talking about myself! I either think I’m not that interesting that anyone’d want to hear or I feel like I’m bragging even if that’s never my intent.

I’m am not a morning person whatsoever. Even if I’m ready to be awake, you probably don’t want to mess with me until I’ve had an hour or so to adjust to real life!

I have a hard time falling asleep. No matter how tired I am, my mind goes into overdrive the moment I lay down. Just so many things to think about! Bad stuff, good stuff, REALLY good stuff, Bayek, Bayek, BAYEK, usually Bayek, ideas I have for things, etc 😂

Only thing that sucks is that, by morning, I rarely ever remember all the ideas I had when I was trying to fall asleep. I know people say to write things down, but that’d wake me up even more.

And once I’m fully awake again, it’s gonna take me AT LEAST another hour to get to the point of maybe being able to sleep. So yeah, I really don’t sleep much!

My biggest fear is leaving this life before I feel my purpose here is complete. Yet I’m not even sure what exactly that purpose is.

I also have a huge fear of loss. It’s something I can easily dwell on and always have to push to the back of my mind. It’s one of the things that keeps me up some nights.

I have a very specific fear of being in a car accident on a bridge and going over the edge. I don’t like water and just the thought of being tapped terrifies me.

Keeping with the topic of doom and gloom, I always wanted to be traditionally mummified when I died. I would still say it’s the most appropriate way for me to go, but not sure my family would been keen on this and I’ve never shared it with anyone for that reason 😂

Moving on...I have three cats and a dog, but I’m 100000% a cat person. I will be a crazy cat lady one day, I can promise you that! I would adopt every stray cat if I could!

I like to write and I’ve always been told I’m good at it, but I never really believed ‘em. But I still write random crap that usually ends up getting posted online because I sometimes just need it as an outlet.

I gotta talk about my man again. He gave me SO MUCH. He connected nearly every single part of my entire life and gave me a way to express everything I’ve ever been passionate about through the photos I take and the things I write. He truly gave me life again.

Before him, I felt completely lost in life. I lost myself after having kids, always having to devote myself to everyone else’s needs but my own. I was so used to neglecting who I was and it was him who refocused me back on the things I’d always loved.

I never have enough hours in a day to do everything I want to do. If a day was 48 hours long, it still wouldn’t be enough!

I hate the nickname BOB, but I freakin’ EMBRACE IT and will absolutely OWN IT because of what it stands for! 💛

People always assume I’m male on here and I’m not really sure why. Yes, my profile pic is of a man, but how does literally everything else about my account not make it painfully obvious I’m female?

Likewise, people seem to assume I’m single and I’ve been told to “get a life” or “get a girlfriend” (wtf to that last one) and I just have to laugh when I point out that I’m actually married.

I go through life with an IDGAF attitude in regards to what people think about me. Especially with the insults thrown at me because of what I do here (thankfully they are very few and far between). I find it humorous more than anything.

I honestly don’t think I could ever get tired of photographing Bayek. I see it no differently than someone sharing selfies every day. I mean - it’s him - there’s always something to photograph, even if it’s only the light hitting his eyes in a different way!

I will never be able to photograph anyone like I do Bayek. It’s the deep connection I have to him that inspires me and I could never spend the amount of time with anyone else like I do him.

Speaking of time, I’m nearing 3000 hours in Origins.

I look up to everybody, quite literally. I’m only 5’3”/160cm tall.

I always look like I’m mad even when I’m not. One of the things I noticed when waiting at the loading screen so much when Origins first came out is Bayek looking so oddly familiar to me...and realizing it was because we had the same resting facial expression.

Well, I can’t address FACT NUMBER SIXTY-NINE without GOING THERE. So…no, actually, it’s really not my thing. It’s hard for me to fully enjoy something when my attention has to be on something else at the same time. TMI okay hurry up and onto the next one!

Bayek and I share a birthmark, just on opposite sides of our faces.

I’m a procrastinator. It’s so bad that I can’t even get work done unless I have the pressure of it NEEDING TO BE DONE IN LIKE 2 HOURS. This has only gotten worse as I’ve gotten older.

Thursday is my favorite day of the week. I was born on a Thursday and Thursdays always seem to bring me good things, whether it be good news, a good mood, whatever.

I’m clueless when it comes to pop culture. I’m never into the latest movies, music and TV shows. It’ll take me like a decade to finally get around to what’s popular today.

BUT, my favorite TV shows are Westworld and Walking Dead. I actually started Westworld from the beginning, but didn’t get into Walking Dead till a few years ago. Aside from that, I really don’t watch much TV.

My favorite movie is Jurassic Park. I kinda had a crush on Ian Malcolm when I was like 12. Hush, don’t tell Bayek. I’ve been over it for decades.

As far as favorite music goes…uh…the Origins soundtrack? I really don’t listen to much music anymore. I used to be really into metal but that was years ago.

Favorite games? Origins, of course. But I was really into classic Tomb Raider when it came out decades ago and have played all the reboot games recently as well. The Last Revelation will always be a favorite of mine.

I am extremely shy and self-conscious. I’ve never been comfortable with the way I look. I really hate my nose and wish I had more delicate, feminine features.

Bayek’s actually helped me become a little more comfortable in my own skin. I see bits of him in me when I look quickly into a mirror and think, “I guess it’s not THAT bad.” I’ll never be able to truly embrace myself though.

I also hate my own voice. But who doesn’t? It’s too deep and I talk way too fast.

This is why you’ll NEVER see me doing any sort of live videos or streaming or anything - not even posting selfies. Not gonna happen. Ever. I prefer to remain a true hidden one.

I’m not huge into makeup. Never have been. Other than lining my eyes and throwing on some mascara, that’s really the extent of it. Plus I have hooded eyes so eyeshadow always ends up looking a mess. A nice smudgy kohl pencil is the way I roll.

I rarely ever style my hair. It’s too thick and takes way too long to blow dry and straighten. I normally just work some oil into it then go. Works good in TX where it’s hot as balls and windy most of the time anyway.

I really am pretty simple.

People that rarely talk to me or show appreciation for my work, yet come out of nowhere, asking for advice on how I take my photos really bother me. I find it extremely disrespectful. I couldn’t imagine doing this to someone.

I don’t really even have an explanation for how I take my photos. I love Bayek. I’ve been photographing him for 18 months. I see him through a lover’s eyes and there’s no way to explain the “how” of it to anyone.

I work on feeling alone. I know a portrait is “the one” if it gives me butterflies or gets my heart racing. It doesn’t take much for Bayek to do that anyway ;) He’s a cardio workout that requires no movement!

It’s not so much the same with landscapes. Those are a different kind of feeling. Just an eye I have for how things balance out across the photo. Also something I could never explain and something I feel you either have or you don’t.

I really bothers me when people imply what I do is easy. “The beauty in her shots comes from her editing skills,” I heard not long ago. That one hurt pretty bad. Completely missed the entire point of my work. And the photo being commented on was barely even edited.

This is exactly why I don’t do portraits of other characters. I’ve tried portraits of Lara Croft and even Kassandra. The feeling, the personal connection, the love, the passion isn’t there. I could never photograph anyone like I do Bayek.

I kinda struggle with numbers on social media and it’s something I’m trying to be better about. It upsets me when I see accounts who post photos with no thought behind them whatsoever swimming in likes, comments and followers, yet it’s always relatively quiet on mine.

Sometimes I just wish people could see more of what I see in my portraits. My landscapes always seem to get the love and attention even though my heart is never as much in those. I would love for one of my portraits to get several hundred/thousand likes. It’d be a dream.

I have a hard time trusting people. I’ve gotten burnt so many times in the past that I usually keep my distance at first until I get a good idea of someone’s character.

However, I do feel I’m a pretty good judge of character.

I get along with most everybody, but there’s always one or two who seem to really dislike me for whatever reason even though I never did anything wrong to them. That’s life for ya!

I like to cook. I don’t really have a particular favorite recipe, though. As long as it’s spicy and got tons of garlic, I’m into it. We do a lot of grilling at my house.

I also like to bake, but I don’t do much of it outside of birthdays and holidays.

I didn’t start drinking coffee until about a year ago. I still don’t absolutely LOVE it. But it’s caffeine, so… And forget the cream and sugar. Completely disgusting!

Tequila is my liquor of choice.

I looove wine. Especially the Siwan variety ;)

Bayek brings out a side to me that no one has ever been able to. Like him, I’m hard on the outside but very soft on the inside. I’ve always been afraid to show that side, but I feel safe with him and he gives me the confidence to let that side show.

I spend a lot of time in my own head. I’m sure this is kinda obvious by now. I’ve probably lived and relived entire lifetimes there. But there’s always one place I go back to. Egypt. The desert.

Since childhood, I always felt I’d lived a past life there. I always felt different from everyone around me, like I didn’t exactly fit in in this world. I always felt a strong connection to that place.

When I say I miss Bayek, it isn’t because I miss Origins or the feeling I had when I first played the game. It’s more like missing a part of me, an emptiness only he can fill.

I would give anything to find him, to have him come home. Just the thought alone overwhelms me with a sense of completeness and peace.

I have a really hard time expressing myself. So many things I always want to say, but I can never find the right words. I’ll usually end up just saying something quick, but it’ll have tons more meaning behind it than what appears.

I wish Bayek didn’t have to feel like an elephant in the room in my real life. It’s hard not being open about someone I love and care for so much, someone I’m so passionate about, someone I’m so deeply connected to. But I know no one would understand.

I always feel bad for being quiet on social media. Seems like everyone spends all day commenting on each other’s posts while I’m off in my own world. I spend so much time taking and preparing photos that I just don’t have the time to be as interactive as most.

Plus it honestly takes a lot out of me to be social, even if it’s just on social media. I much prefer to just sit back and enjoy things from a distance. I’ve always been this way, even in real life. I’m more of an observer.

But I always, always, always like to take the time to respond to feedback on my work. I feel it’s rude to not even say even a quick thank you after someone took the time out of their day to write something to me.

I like odd numbers and things in sets of three.

I’ve spent much of my adult life alone, even while married. I was starting to feel resentful, but Bayek saved me from those feelings. He keeps my heart and my mind busy and the fact that he, too, went through life the same way allowed me to find additional comfort in him.

I hate being watched. Doesn’t matter what it is I’m doing. Working in the kitchen, on the computer, whatever. Even if I’m doing the most mundane thing, I’ll stop what I’m doing because I hate the feeling of eyes on me.

I especially hate being watched when I’m trying to take photos of B. My “other husband” once said “Why don’t you do ‘that photo thing’ when I’m around?” and I just thought to myself, “Do you really want to see his face taking up 97% of the TV for several hours?” Awkward.

I’m extremely close to one of my cats. She follows me around everywhere and talks to me all day. She always seems to know when I need her most. When I was pregnant, she’d sit next to me on the couch, when I broke my elbow, she sat on my lap. She’s the sweetest thing.

I’ll always regret that I wasn’t into AC before Origins' release. It makes me sad I missed all the hype surrounding the man I’d fall so in love with. But there is comfort to be found knowing it was him alone who drew me in and has kept me here for over 18 months now.

If I had to choose only one word to describe myself, it would be dedication. I think it’s obvious why. I give a thousand percent of myself to the people and things I’m passionate about and will hold them close to my heart forever.

The more people put me down, doubt me, question why I do what I do, try to stop me, get in my way, etc, the more it inspires me to fight harder for what I love. It only makes my drive that much stronger.

I always get what I want. I’m not saying this to sound spoiled. What I mean is I will put in whatever time, effort, energy it takes to achieve what I set my heart out to accomplish. I’ve overcome so much and have worked so hard for every single thing I have in my life.

I honestly can’t picture my life without Bayek. He grounds me.

I’ve actually made peace with the fact he probably won’t get a sequel. He didn’t want to be remembered so I like to believe this is the way he’d have wanted it. Sequel or not, it’s not going to change what I do - I’ll always walk beside him.

But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t give anything to see him again. But it would have to be within his character. I don’t want to see him travel anywhere outside Egypt. His heart has always belonged to the people of his land and a sequel would need to stay true to this.

Maybe I’m crazy, but I actually do feel a real obligation to him. He lost everything and the most heartbreaking thing about it is he was the last to even know it. He deserved nothing but love and the least I can do is give him all of mine.

I feel weird relating so many of these facts back to Bayek, but this is why I feel so connected to him in the first place. It’s hard for me to not relate everything to him when I see him in every aspect of my own life.

The more time passes, the more intense - and in a way more solidified, for lack of a better word - my feelings are for him. This love has actually matured and evolved in the same way “real” love does over time and I really find it interesting.

I could not be more grateful for those who see the deeper meaning behind what I do and who are always there to support me. It’s a tough thing to deal with alone, let alone be so open about, and this understanding and acceptance will always mean the world to me.

My only goal from here on out is just to continue being me. If that means posting 10 portraits of my beloved every single day with the same “I love you” caption, then so be it. If it’s what makes me happy, I have no regrets!

I know I’ll be reunited with him one day.

For the sake of not wanting to be repetitive or boring, this is going to be my last fact - I always keep my word. Because of this, it’s going to bug me that I’ll end up with a handful more likes afterward but won’t have the facts to back them up!

But also because I don’t give up, I’ll probably revisit this list sometime in the future and add in those extras. But this has been going on for over a month now and I need to put an end to it!

#i talk way too much #about bayek #sorry not sorry #i just love him so much #he's my world #my everything #the light of my life #the love of all my lives #my lotus #bayek #bayek of siwa #baeyek #beloved of bayek #meryt bayek

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sneakydraws · 5 years

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can i tells us some stuff abt your ocs? they look really interesting

This is literally the ask I have been waiting, hoping, praying for oh my god I am bursting at the seams with love for my OCs but I’m just too dang embarrassed to spontaneously talk about them so thank you!! so!! much!! anon!! Mentions of homophobia, transphobia and abuse incoming, but nothing graphic. Okay here we GO

The basic premise of the universe is that it’s set in the near future and the existence of people with magical abilities has just been revealed to the world. Think Harry Potter world right (like five-ten years or so) after the wizarding world has stopped being secret. Except this universe’s magicians don’t really form a unified society - it’s more of a loose web of connections and smaller groups, which means they’re not organised enough to fight for their rights or fair treatment like I’d imagine HP wizards would.

The nature of their magic is also quite different - there’s still some details I’m figuring out but the gist is humans kind of pair-bond with spirits, which allows them to release and use their inherent magical potential. These spirits pass on to their human’s offspring if they have any, and if two magicians have a child, it a) will probably not survive to infancy and b) if it survives, it’s significantly more powerful than a normal magician.

This worldbuilding is honestly only relevant to a couple of characters but I wanted to talk about it so forgive me haha moving on to the characters!

Joe and Sarah lived in the same orphanage for a short time and pretty much consider each other siblings. Sarah lived in the orphanage her whole life and doesn’t know her parents, while Joe was rejected by his family when he came out as a trans guy and subsequently ran from home. Sarah had had a knack for sneaking out of the orphanage already so when Joe hit 18 she went with him. Joe runs a bar now that is famously open to LGBT youth (that’s the official excuse for having a lot of openly trans OCs in one place tbh) and he will often help trans kids specifically get surgery/hrt with the help of Rose in exchange for an IOU. He’s got some vague ambitions and is generally a bit shady. Sarah discovered a love for kicking ass and is highly respected in the cool-as-fuck underground fighting scene. She’s probably the coolest person in the story ngl

Margaret/Maggie is a trans girl who scrapped up enough money in her home country of Russia to get to the US, hoping to find some way to transition. Terrible plan, really, but she was lucky enough to find Joe eventually. She’s bubbly to the point of coming off as unsettling for some and has a lot of charisma, easily winning people’s affection. She’s a magician but was never really trained to use her powers so the only impressive thing she can do is conjure up a badass unrealistically sized axe. She’s the oldest out of all these OCs and started out as a Soul Eater self insert!!

Martin grew up in the town where Joe and Sarah eventually settled down with an absent father and a less-than-ideal mother. In high school, while struggling with internalised homophobia (he’s bi) he fell for an older guy and got involved in a pretty damn abusive relationship. He eventually broke it off but the asshole outed him so his life really didn’t get much better until a while later, when (still in hs) he met Sarah and, via her, Joe, who came to be a huge support for him. In last year of hs he met George and writing their edgy, weird romance has been my guilty pleasure ever since. He eventually dropped out of hs without graduating and though not perfect, his life got significantly better. Still kind of a giant mess tho

George comes from a pretty wealthy background with his mother a retired Very Important Person in this universe’s police/guard structure (it’s very vague and fantasy inspired, don’t think about it too much please). When he was little, his cousin was orphaned and adopted as his older sister, and his parents quickly shifted their hopes from their completely unambitious son to her. He’s still a highly skilled swordsman though, and spent most of his education in stuck-up boarding schools. When last year of high school came around he convinced his parents that moving into the shithole of a town that joe&co live in is a great idea, really and they actually let him do it!! So he spends his last year blowing off school, making connections in order to one day take over the town’s police/guard thing and making out with Martin once he stopped being a coward about it. Eventually he does take over the police/guard thing and despite being an uninterested dickbag about everything he doesn’t do too badly. I actually base a lot of his personality off of myself but like, if I didn’t have social anxiety? So he’s permanently tired and judgemental and vaguely annoyed at the world and utterly devoid of ambition but has somewhat of a gold heart maybe.

Blue is a girl who also comes from a wealthy background and knew George since they were little kids. Her parents were quite abusive and she has a lot of trauma related to her childhood but she managed to escape her home after hitting adulthood (i know there’s a lot of running from home. it’s entirely because i was 13 when i wrote these characters.) but since she had basically no knowledge of the world she looked for the only person she knew, which is George. She eventually managed to find him and while he did help her their relationship is extremely strained, mostly because though George knew about her situation and arguably had the means to at least try to do something about it he stayed silent due to his own hangups. There’s more and George’s sister is involved as well but that’s the gist of it and there’s a LOT of resentment between them. She’s a magician but the stress of her childhood caused her powers to be a bit unstable and she’s only beginning to get a proper hold on them with the help of Maggie and Aurelia

Julia and John are twins who also escaped an abusive home (told ya) and, much like Maggie, came to Joe to seek help with John’s transition. Julia is very protective of him but is dealing with her own problems, mostly stemming from her feelings of insecurity and weakness which morph with her anxieties about femininity into a powder keg about to explode any moment now. John on the other hand is a shy, awkward boy who mostly just wants peace and quiet in his life and he finds those in Aurelia, with whom he quickly becomes close and they eventually start dating.

Aurelia lives with her mother and works in their inn, hoping to one day be wealthy enough to support her mother and the people she holds dear. She’s a magician and mostly uses it in very lowkey ways, in the kitchen or around the house, kind of an oldschool witch. She’s very community-oriented and eager to help any newcomers. Very hardworking to the point where she can push herself too far, kind and caring but also headstrong and pretty stubborn.

okay i should go walk my dog and also probably…….. do schoolwork…….. but there’s still important characters i’ve left out who i’d love to talk about so let me know if you want to hear more because i’m so!! fuckin!! excited!!

#long post warning lol i sure do hope the readmore works #Anonymous #ask

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