#absolute idiot

[dontsnortpixiestix]

Agghh I finally finished it! Reference sheet for one of my MST3K AU Crows. This is one where everybody is back on earth loving their best life in a little rural town. I’ll post more bout it eventually.

#mystery science theater 3000 #mst3k #AU #alternate universe #robot #crow t robot #crooooow #reference sheet #Leopard frog lane #dork #absolute idiot #but i love him #cat #kitty #look at him

[len-wither]

HE GAVE US A HAPPY ENDING??? WTH???

where is my promised angsty ending mr.smajor???

HUH?? WHERE IS IT??

also congrats on becoming supreme witch bb, slayyyy

also doesn't him practically abandoning the supreme witch position mean that they now need another supreme witch? again? XD

#witchcraft smp #wcsmp #witch scott #necromany witch #scott smajor #smajor1995 #dangthatsalongname #this post is all over the place lol #absolute idiot #and of course owen is milo #of course he is

[priapussdick]

have i already said that i love him???

#he is ridiculous #absolute idiot #sukiyanen kedo do yaro ka #although i love you and you #watching #ep3

[adventuresofthebryonyfairy]

updates on musk’s attempted rebrand: x.com redirects to Twitter, where you are still invited to join *twitter*, and view in the *twitter* app.

This is the laziest most half-assed shitty rebrand I’ve ever seen haahhahahahahahah

#Twitter #Elon musk #absolute idiot #Twitter rebrand #oh sorry #I mean x #or whatever the duck we’re supposed to call it #x.com ??

[doozclops]

The hero this world needs, everyone. 👏

#absolute idiot #Dooz plays games #Dragon's Dogma 2 #dd2

[the-worms-are-all-right]

not to be a polyphemus apologist on main but if some guy broke into my house and started unaliving my sheep i’d be mad too

#and then he tries to gaslight me to think he doesn’t exist too #fucking prick #absolute idiot #odysseus #polyphemus #odyssey #greek mythology #shitpost

[fashionnfacts]

this is literally the dumbest thing ever

#absolute idiot #elon musk #twitter

[legendaryturk]

wound Turkanvivia

@turkanvivia

"Come on, Viv, it'll be fun. We've had a shit week, let's kick up our heels a bit." Zed was dragging his somewhat-reluctant fellow Turk to a newly opened axe-throwing bar, to "let off some steam", as he put it.

The venue was surprisingly brightly lit - probably a good thing, considering the type of weapons they would be throwing. "I know, it's axes, not knives, but this should be right up your alley, babe," Zed smirked, hauling a bucket of axes over to their station. The rather tall Turk hadn't accounted for the low beam hanging from the ceiling - his head smacked it full force, and a wayward axe fell out of his bucket, falling to the ground.

He heard a small yelp from Viv, and blanched. Zed glanced down and saw the Turk rubbing her leg and scowling up at him.

"Oh, shit....oh shit.....what....what the fuck happened?"

#turkanvivia #absolute idiot #I don't think they just hand you a bucket of axes at these places #but anything goes in midgar :D

[skloomdumpster]

i'm not the only one who found that scene with riven and terra where dane prances in with the 'alfea's got talent' line to be ridiculously hilarious with the way riven shook his head halfway through when dane started talking and terra just stared after him because it was so out of the blue AND how self-satisfied dane was too? i keep rewinding that scene, how riven remarks he's basically somes trange frankenstein created by beatrix and him

That WAS super cringy and one thing I really don't get is how they evolved from there to season 2 trouple.... I mean, apparently they gave us a one year time skip? Regardless, more fics of people bullying Dane for being cringe now that he's a part of the group.

More fics of Dane being a part of the group in general.

#he really grew on me this season #absolute idiot #answered

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Bruce gets accosted by reporters and one of them asks "Is it true that you're in competition with Superman to win Batman's affections?" and he is so taken aback bc what the fuck are they even talking about? There are a million questions going through his head such as, since when was superman into batman? since when was this public knowledge? wtf did bruce say to imply that he was into batman as well? And he doesn't have an answer to any of these questions so he just smiles and says, "No, I'm not. The word competition implies that Superman has a chance, which he does not."

why did he say that? Bruce doesn't know, it just felt like that's how Bruce Wayne would've responded bc what's more Brucie than fighting with Superman for Batman's heart? anyway, upon reflection, this was maybe not the best response in terms of long term consequences, but he's committed to the bit now.

a week after all this goes down, news reporter Clark Kent is caught saying that Batman deserves better than Bruce Wayne, so is a third suitor putting his hat in the ring to win over batman?

#superman was already iffy on bruce wayne #now he has a true hatred for the man for #1) declaring his intentions toward someone he has feelings for #2) not only implying that he is better boyfriend material than /Superman/ #but that he’s so much better that superman isn’t even competition #/bruce wayne/ #notable playboy and idiot #a better choice as a boyfriend #the absolute arrogance #batman #bruce wayne #superman #clark kent #superbat #dc #dc comics #mine

[dontsnortpixiestix]

Ggaaaahhh I finally got around to finishing my MST3K bot oc! Yes, he’s made out of ordinary stuff too! Peashooter lookin ass.

He was created by Dr. F and Frank because they were jealous that they didn’t have their own robot kids like Joel. He acts a lot like a big stupid cat and lacks a good braincell count.

Main inspo is Lampy from The Brave Little Toaster and a reeeeeally old oc named Lum.

#mystery science theater 3000 #mst3k #robot #robot oc #bot #machine #MST3K oc #original character #fan character #fc #mst3k fan art #MST3K art #absolute idiot #pvz jokes are welcome

[hotcrossbunnies]

mystery commissions, you ask and pay for one thing but its a mystery whether you actually get it or if im literally just taking the money. all responsibilities fall on the schmuck willing to do it. opportune business idea.

#schmuck #absolute idiot #buffoon even #you might get it though #depends on if im feeling charitable

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

i vote that next year instead of reading Dracula we do a Jeeves & Wooster Book Club. those two never got the rabid tumblr shipping fandom they deserved (disqualified for the sheer technicality of being published a century too soon). we must correct this injustice

#jeeves and wooster #i want to watch tumblr go rabid i want to watch ao3 overflow with jeeves/wooster fanfiction #yes obviously the fandom EXISTS but it's a cozy little neighborhood #a handful of talented artists and writers doing their best to keep their charming little village going #but i'm tired of cozy i want this fandom TRENDING #I WANT TO SEE THIS ON MY DASHBOARD PEOPLE #i swear to you if they made a shiny new tv series tumblr would absolutely obsess over these characters. good omens levels of obsession #it's just such a great dynamic! the good-natured overly-trusting bumbling idiot in constant need of rescuing! #the stoic all-knowing genius who quietly masterminds mayhem in order to protect this one moron he's devoted himself to for some reason #jeeves as a morosexual is just such a beautiful interpretation of the original text #wooster as a happy-go-lucky himbo who stumbles his way into a relationship with a protective caring and supremely competent mastermind #the angst and social complexities of a same-sex cross-class relationship in turn-of-the century london! #oh AND half the stories are about jeeves helping wooster get out of engagements/desperately avoid marriage #two men who live together constantly scheming to maintain their bachelorhood. this is quite literally the main plot point #the gay subtext is there! the gay subtext is there and very ripe for picking!!! #this thing is LOCKED AND LOADED we can pounce literally any time

[haywirecompass]

whoever the fuck i saw saying "i can't stand english bitching because they're so complacent" and whoever else thinks we're not doing enough i'd like to invite you to DO SOME FUCKING RESEARCH.

a law was recently passed that deemed any kind of protesting as disruptive and able to be punished by the police, alongside giving the police more power.

we all watched the police storm the PEACEFUL VIGIL for sarah everard - a woman raped and murdered by a police officer.

PEOPLE ARE CURRENTLY BEING ARRESTED FOR OUTWARDLY EXPRESSING ANY SORT OF DISPLEASURE WITH THE MONARCHY.

A WOMAN WAS ARRESTED FOR HOLDING UP A SIGN. JUST HOLDING IT.

PEOPLE WERE ARRESTED FOR BOOING.

everything in britain has been put to a standstill. hospital appointments have been cancelled. funerals have been cancelled. we can't do anything about it.

many of us will be unable to pay our energy bills this winter. we will freeze. we will starve.

it has been demonstrated to us time and time and time again that protests simply make people talk about how we were protesting and never why. and now the police has increased power to punish us for any public opinion that they don't like.

we have been under tory rule for 12 years. 12 years of the same people - hey americans, can you imagine that?

we are tired, no, we are exhausted. we are struggling. we are scared. and it has been made clear to us that our government does not care.

so fucking forgive us if we're putting our own survival over the opinions of americans (and other non-brits but americans are the worst) online who expect us to learn everything about their politics and their country and don't put in an ounce of effort to learn about ours.

#y'all remember trying to pressure russians to protest against their government? #when they literally cannot? #yeah #fuck off #uk politics #don't fucking comment on our country and how things work if you don't have the slightest idea how it works #also don't? tell us what to do? we could just as easily be like #why are americans complaining about abortion just protest and fix it #yeah not that fucking easy is it #absolute fucking idiots

[honnelander]

go fish!

so i fell in love with Sanji just like everyone else. i've never seen the one piece anime or read the manga so i'm solely going off of the live action. i had fun writing this and plan to make this a series of some sorts where it's a fem!reader x Sanji moments of awkwardness, fluff, and mutual pining because i love reading that stuff myself. if anyone has any suggestions or requests for this series please leave a comment or send me an ask!

WARNINGS: none

word count: 1.3k

pairing: opla!sanji x reader

summary: reader and Usopp are playing a card game when Sanji finds them. teasing ensues.

prequel part 2 part 3 part 4 masterlist

“Care for a refreshment, Madam?” a smooth, deep familiar voice asked to your left, breaking your concentration on the card game in front of you. 

“Hm?” you looked up from the cards in your hand and saw the Going Merry’s own chef looking down at you with a crooked, charming smile as he held a chilled glass bottle of water in his hand. “Oh, hey Sanji,” you greeted quickly with your usual smile as you looked back down at your hand. “What’d you say? Go fish Usopp.” 

Your opponent across the barrel from you grumbled as he took the top card off the deck sitting between you both. 

“I was just asking if the lovely madam sitting here would like a nice, cold refreshment on this particularly hot day?” Sanji asked again with a hint of amusement, his crooked smile deepening as he watched you study your hand once again. 

“’Lovely madam’?” Usopp repeated sarcastically, his eyebrows pulling together. “What about offering her super buff, brave, and heroic opponent an ice-cold beverage instead?” 

“Nope,” Sanji corrected, popping the 'p'. “Ladies first Usopp. Always.” 

Even after knowing Sanji for a couple of months now, his consistent chivalry always managed to make your heart flutter.  

You laughed lightly and couldn’t help but smirk as you said with a matter-of-fact, teasing tone, “Just say you wish you were a girl, Usopp. No judgment here.” You paused for a moment before asking, “You got the five of spades?” 

“Now even though I would make an extremely attractive, gorgeous woman, I am a man through and through.” A grin broke out on Usopp’s face as he glanced at his hand and triumphantly called out, “Go fish, y/n.” 

“Fair enough,” you hummed as you reached for a card. “And yes Sanji, I would love a glass of cold water. Thank you.” You shot a quick look of gratitude the chef’s way as you took a card from the deck. 

Sanji placed the two glasses onto your makeshift barrell-table top he was holding in his left hand and started filling up the glasses with water. “Of course. Anything for the missus.” 

Missus. Ugh. It made your heart skip a beat to hear him call you that. But you knew he didn’t really mean anything by it. It was just how Sanji spoke, forever the gentleman. 

“Oof. If you keep sweet talking like that Sanji, you’re going to even make me blush, just like y/n,” Usopp joked. 

Your eyes widened as your eyes snapped to look at your dumbass crewmate and friend sitting across from you. “I- I am not blushing Usopp!” God, if you both were using a real table instead of a barrel right now you would’ve broken his shine with your foot. You really weren’t blushing before but Usopp’s stupid comment definitely made your cheeks heat up now. “It’s the heat,” you hissed.  

“’Heat’,” he mocked with air quotes and snorted. “Right.” 

“I-” before you could defend yourself, Sanji spoke up. 

“Actually,” the blonde chef chimed in with a light laugh as he filled the second glass, “that’s why I came over in the first place. You were looking a little flushed y/n, so I thought you guys could use a cold drink.” 

Sanji’s words caused both you and Usopp to look up from your cards simultaneously, making eye contact with each other. A mischievous grin started to form on Usopp’s face as he saw the blush deepen on your face. You quickly looked back to your hand, suddenly finding the eight of clovers card extremely interesting.  

Sanji saw you looking flushed? He saw you? From across the deck? From inside the kitchen’s window? He was watching you play cards? The thought of Sanji watching you when you didn’t expect him to made your stomach erupt in butterflies, and it certainly didn’t make your stupid little crush on him go away. Just the opposite. In fact, it just fueled your delusional fantasy even more.  

And it certainly didn’t help that the only person who knew about your crush on the head chef just so happened to have a big mouth and loved to tease you about it any chance he got. And that he was sitting right across from you right now, watching all of this unfold right in front of him. 

“Oh? So you were watching y/n and I play cards out here?” Usopp innocently asked his blonde crewmate, but you knew better. There wasn’t an ounce of true curiosity in his tone whatsoever. 

“Yeah, from the kitchen,” Sanji answered casually as he recapped the glass water bottle. 

“Usopp,” you warned. 

“And you said that she looked ‘flushed’?” Usopp asked, quirking a brow at the end of his question as he turned his gaze from you to Sanji. 

Sanji blinked in confusion, his eyebrows knitting together for a second before looking down at his crewmate. “Yeah...” he said slowly before continuing, “Her cheeks looked a little pink so I figured-” 

“Oh?” Usopp asked, his voice becoming louder. “You noticed the color of her cheeks, from that far away?” 

“Usopp,” you hissed louder but it fell on deaf ears. Once your friend got on a roll, there was little anyone could do about it. Especially when it came to teasing you about your feelings for Sanji. 

“Yeah,” Sanji replied to Usopp’s question with a confused smile. “What are you-” 

“GO FISH!” you blurted out loudly, cutting Sanji off and having both men turn their eyes towards you.  

“Huh?” Usopp blinked his eyes at you, suddenly remembering the game in front of him. “But I didn’t even ask you anything y/n. And you just drew a card, so it’s your turn to ask me.” 

You let out a quiet sigh of relief at the fact that Usopp stopped grilling Sanji with all of those embarrassing questions right in front of you....even though you couldn’t help but perk up at the fact that Sanji in fact had been watching you from the kitchen, and that he was sweet enough to bring you (and Usopp) some water.  

“Well, I tried,” you shrugged and lied, “but you just kept yapping so you didn’t hear me. Do you have the Queen of hearts?” 

Usopp studied you for a brief moment before looking at his cards, smirking to himself. “You know y/n, it’s funny you asked about the Queen of hearts,” he said as he plucked the requested card from his hand and reached out to give it to you, “since you make heart eyes yourself whenever you look at-” 

“GOOD game Usopp!” you practically yelled as you threw your cards down onto the barrel and stood up, hoping your outburst drowned out the name Usopp was about to so stupidly blurt out. You shook his free hand with both of yours as you said, “You totally win my friend.” 

“What?” Sanji laughed slightly as he watched you and Usopp shake hands. The poor guy was as confused as ever. “But the game isn’t over.” 

You looked Usopp dead in the eye as tightened your grip on his hand. “Oh no, it’s over. He definitely won.”  

Yeah, he won alright. He won the game of making your life a living hell and embarrassing you in front of Sanji. He won the gold medal in that game. 

“I sure did,” Usopp agreed triumphantly, putting his cards down. 

You dropped his hand and took the glass of cold water that Sanji had so generously poured, the cold glass making you feel better already. “Thank you for this Sanji. I think I’ll go enjoy this on my hammock inside.” 

You couldn’t bear to look at Sanji, feeling humiliated for no reason with your face on fire, you stepped away from the barrel sipping your water as you made your way across the deck towards the ship’s living quarters.  

“Yeah, that’s a good idea y/n!” Usopp called, giddy from the high that could only come from successfully teasing a friend. “Maybe that’ll help calm down your flushed face!” 

Before stepping inside, you flipped off a laughing Usopp, completely missing the brief look of disappointment in Sanji’s eyes as he watched you go. 

#sanji x reader #sanji vinsmoke x reader #sanji #sanji vinsmoke #one piece #one piece live action #opla #one piece fanfiction #sanji fanfiction #fluff #opla fanfiction #i absolutely loved writing this and will write more #have this be a series of some sorts #bc who doesn't love idiots in love? #mutual pining #sanji x y/n #one piece x reader #go fish! au

[goddess-of-silvers]

I know everyone’s mad at Aziraphale right now because of how the season’s ended but I don’t think we’ve talked enough about the fact that Aziraphale has been keeping a diary for centuries (based on the fact the entry we see is from volume 603) and he literally starts his entries with “dear diary, last month Crowley and I both happened to be in Edinburgh”.

#HE WRITES IN HIS DIARY LIKE A STEREOTYPICAL TEENAGE GIRL #HOW IS ANYONE NORMAL ABOUT THIS #also the absolute banger of a fanfic this would be #someone just writing all 603 volumes of Aziraphale’s journals which are all just meetups with crowley #you know his journals are filled of their misadventures as idiots in love #dear dork diary but its aziraphale #HA #ineffable husbands #good omens spoilers #good omens #good omens 2 #aziraphale #anthony j crowley #crowley x aziraphale #go 2x03