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atopfourthwall · 8 months

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Tbh you lament what people say about you and bemoan "harrassment and bullying". Yet you told RLM to "eat a bag of dicks" unprompted. You said Oneyplays "Are assholes, fuck them!". You'll constantly lecture your own fans, angrily yelling at them for asking when new Power Rangers are out, or for giving you simple, solid advice like below. You say youve calmed down in reviews yet still yell at the comic creators over minor stuff. The comments you complain about getting seem tame in comparison.

Okay, first of all I did not tell RLM to "eat a big of dicks" unprompted. What I said was "Eat a dick, jackass" while talking about the Plinkett Reviews in regards to how parts of them have not aged well, in particular the line that I felt was a bit racist - "Black people don't like Star Wars" (to be clear - I don't think anyone at RLM is racist [AFAIK]. The remark itself feels like it is, though, but that's also emblematic of edgier, wince-inducing internet humor from the time - we're all guilty of awful jokes like this to some degree, myself included). Now I ended up removing this line from the Star Wars Prequel reviews compilation because I realized it was needlessly inflammatory towards them and some perceived it as me attempting to star a beef with them… when of course I don't want to start a beef with ANYONE, much less someone much, MUCH more popular than me.

And no, I did not say Oneyplays "Are assholes, fuck them" (unless I said this on Twitter a long while ago). I'm assuming this is in reference to a part of the Fallout: New Vegas streams. Someone in the superchats asked a question relating to them and my other guests didn't know who they are. I proceeded to spend all of 40 seconds calmly explaining (though admittedly with a bit of light irritation) "They're other streamers, one of whom apparently does a GREAT impression of me. They're also responsible for popularizing calling me Lightbringer, soooo… screw 'em." That was it. But apparently "screw 'em" was TOO MUCH for a lot of people, because I got flooded with hate from that - videos made about how I was "TRIGGERED!" and "HAD A MELTDOWN!" Because that was one of the first public times I ever talked about how I wasn't okay with the nickname. We'll circle back around to this in a minute.

"You'll constantly lecture your own fans, angrily yelling at them for asking when new Power Rangers are out-" Aaand right there you prove that you don't actually watch my stuff. You're just repeating the same garbage from people who ALSO don't watch my stuff, but assume I have not changed at all, that I am the same person forever whose opinions don't change, whose attitude doesn't change, never gets better, etc.

Because I haven't been angry at people asking when the next History of Power Rangers is out in ALMOST TEN YEARS.

And the reason I know that number in particular is because I started my Patreon in 2014. The question annoyed me so much because I didn't have an answer for them and it seemed like they didn't care about anything else I did. But then I started my Patreon and one of the Milestone goals was actual release dates for HOPR. And thus since then I've been able to answer when new ones are coming out.

You want to know how NOT angry I am about the question I am now? I put it on t-shirts.

You can buy them at https://atop-the-fourth-wall.creator-spring.com/listing/when-is-hopr?product=2 and https://atop-the-fourth-wall.creator-spring.com/listing/when-is-hopr-03?product=2 (I was going to post pictures of them but Tumblr keeps breaking when I try). There's a third one, but I don't think I put that one back up because it was intended for Shark Robot where colors are limited and it didn't do very well.

But this is a thing that's brought up by people who hate me - my irritation at the question as if it was still something that bothered me because, again, they cannot conceive that maybe I've changed. No, I am cringe forever and there is nothing I can say or do that will satisfy them.

But no, I "lecture people constantly" evidently. People say I'm obsessed about this topic, about the bullying, that I just talk about it soooo much and I can't move on from it and it haunts my every waking moment and that such "simple, solid advice" like "Be okay with being bullied" is met with unreasonable hostility and my mind fixated on it constantly.

Unless of course you actually look at what I post, what I reblog, what I tweet about and then you discover "Oh, he actually only talks about it when people bring it up to him. He only made that thread because he said the harassment is starting to rise up again and that was days and days ago and hasn't said anything about it since. In fact, on this very Tumblr he's only bringing it up again because somebody ELSE is bringing it up, allowing him a chance to further break down why asshole behavior is still asshole behavior.

So let's bring this back to the "screw 'em" thing. You'll notice that in none of these longer rambling statements I've made have I brought them up. Sure, in that 40 seconds during the stream I did… but that was in the middle of the first wave of it where it really WAS affecting me psychologically hard… and I have not talked about them on stream since then. I don't talk about them in these threads. I don't tell my fans to harass them. I don't make up some nickname for them or mock them or do anything other than maybe some frustration at them during the thread a few years ago (and I am explicitly telling my fans not do so - if you want to be an asshole to them, you can fuck off from my fans). Because I don't WANT to talk about them. They can do whatever the hell they want on their streams. They can call me Lightbringer there, make weird memes about me. It's THEIR space to do with as they please.

The problem is entirely that their fans come to MY space to be assholes. To repeat those memes, to bully me and call me the name. Some do it innocently, thinking I'm okay with it (which, again - is who that thread was directed towards)… but there are others who are being assholes about it. And I'm going to call them assholes about it and block them. And I'm still not going to talk about Oney because I don't want to - they're not the ones who are spamming Lightbringer in my chat or comments or trying to find some way of sneaking it into the comments past my comment filters to try to get a gotcha on me. Hell, I've gotten some people who have said they discovered me and love my stuff now BECAUSE Oney talked about me.

And I'd really like to know which recent review you saw where I was specifically attacking creators in the manner you seem to think I did. Because being angry at a plot point or a narrative decision is not the same thing as attacking a creator. I'll freely tell you about the ones I HAVE specifically called out for shittiness - the racist, the homophobic, the sexual harassers, the transphobic, the one that spread misinformation, or just the greedy assholes. But just looking at the list of the last 50+ episodes I've done that maybe… once or twice? And even despite ALL those horrible things, I STILL tell my fans to leave them alone - to not start fights with them, to not send my videos to them, etc. Because I don't want my fans to be bullies, either.

I will end this with one final thing: "The comments you complain about getting seem tame in comparison." Yeah, well, that's because you're you and I'm me. Something that seems innocuous to one person may be deeply triggering for someone else. Something that seems like an innocent joke might actually be really fucking with someone mentally, as it was for me. And that's why I've tried to tell people "Hey, please don't do that." Maybe I do it aggressively. But sometimes that's the only way people will listen. If people are still doing it even after I've expressed how much it harms me - telling me that I should just "get over it" or "let them do it and respond with a laugh" even though I keep saying it DOES affect me, then those people are assholes and I don't see why I should give them the time of day.

Hopefully this lengthy response (I really am a windbag) helps people understand or it clears up some bullshit. And if it's still not good enough for you, then nothing less than complete capitulation to being called Lightbringer is the only thing that will satisfy you… well, fuck off.

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cutekittenlady · 4 months

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Tumblr Plays Pokemon White 2 - Part 8

((So i actually had to go back and fight a bunch of trainers to get money for more pokeballs to try and catch pokemon with.))

Well hanging out in the lot was a lot of fun but now I think I'll head back down into the sewers and get to the pokemon center. I need to prepare.

Yeah I think he's feeling a little... frustrated. Look its this whole revenge thing, I don't really wanna get into it.

Iris then asks what I'm going to do now, and honestly? While I'm aiming to fight in the gym I think I need to train some first. Get a gas mask, complete a bit more of the pokdedex. Yada yada.

Also I'm actually nearly out of the pokeballs. I've only got, like, four. And three of those I dont wanna use yet.

Guess that means one thing. I gotta fight some trainers for cash.

I start in the sewers. I opt to not use healing items like potions. I'd rather not spend money trying to buy more so instead my team and I are just going to have the train the difficult way by healing at the pokemon center for free. Once we have enough money and balls saved up we can try to fill out more of the pokedex.

Besides I wanna make sure I'm strong enough to beat Burgh and this as good of an excuse as any to train up.

I actually try to avoid most of the wild pokemon, saving up our energy for the trianers.

Turns out one of the trainers I beat is a doctor so i was able to get my pokemon healed up! And immediately after that I found a scientist who gave me a super potion! Dang things are looking up! I found a few items in the sewer I might be able use or sell as well.

Place still reeks though.

Getting curious I choose to check out that gaping hole in the sewers and find myself in a cave system (relic passage) rather than explore further I opt to leave it alone for now and return later.

((I actually completely forgot about Relic passage when making the poll. XD I think I'll include it amongst the potential places to catch mons after we get our eevee encounter once we get enough money for more pokeballs.))

AAAnd that rare bone I found in the sewer sold for fifty bucks

NICE

And I spend ALL my money on great balls. I decide it'll be a good idea to head to that little hidden park to start some training.

I wonder around in the grass a bit and run into an Eevee. A friggin EEVEE! A wild one! I can't believe this! Those are insanely rare in Unova!

EVERY trainer wants an eevee!

Bentley! Aries! Do NOT screw this up!

I swap Bentley out for Molly both to take down Petilil sooner, and to avoid Bentleys old habits from kicking in.

Don't look at me like that Bentley you know what you did!

After that it was a matter of being insanely cautious with the damage.

Once I got eevee down to a reasonable health level I decided that now, now was the time to use that Ultra ball I was given back in Aspertia.

Ultra ball dont fail me now!

I select.

I throw.

aaaaaand

Eevee on the team!!!

Ohhhhh he is just so CUTE!

What shall I name him? I mean he was the first pokemon in this whole thing to win, more or less, by a massive landslide. So I feel like I should incorporate that in the name.

I asked my sister what I should name this Eevee and she suggest Pollemachus in reference to him winning the poll. That sounded werid so I was considering Champ but while we were discussing it and even seeing if Pollemachus would fit into the pokemon nickname section (it did not) we wound up coming across the name Pollux. Which apparently means "very sweet" some sources claimed it also meant "crown"? I'm not sure but given this pokemon by a Poll that was absolutely no contest I think it only seems right to give him a name in reference to it.

So after a LOT of debate the little Eevees name became Polux.

And now for the moment of truth.

The nature check.

I spent so much time looking for this Eevee. I can only hope the pokmeon challenge gods look favorably upon me.

Okay

Bentley. Quiet Nature.

Aries. Hasty Nature.

Molly. Hardy Nature.

Polux.

...

DOCILE NATURE

YES.

Now of course Polux is gonna need training but I think I may be okay to challenge the bug type gym!

There will be a set of new polls soon!

#lol this was a shorter post #but a longer play session #took me AWHILE to encounter polux #tumblr plays pokmeon #tumblr plays pokemon white 2 #white 2 #pokemon white 2 #pokemon black 2 #black 2 #pokemon black and white 2 #pokemon playthrough #pokemon poll #pokmeon #pkmn b2w2 #pokemon b2w2

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sanscestships · 3 years

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Crossmare (Analysis, CrossxNightmare)

Requested by: no one. there are no requests yet

Created on: 1/5/21

i know Crossmare is a really popular ship and i'll probably get killed for this but just remember this is not based off fanon stuff. it's just me looking at the canon facts and speculating based on those.

i actually also ship Crossmare along with Kross, Krossmare, Killercreamare, Errink, Destructive Death, Afterdeath, Dustberry, Horrordust, etc. etc. as a multishipper. I'm just trying to be logical here.

so if you see the analysis going in a direction you don't like, you can just skip to the bottom to see the overall analysis in a more simplified version.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Crossmare is really popular apparently. I've noticed it a lot on Tumblr and Wattpad.

Unfortunately now I need to crack it's head open.

FluffyNight is apparently canon. I was told this a while ago. FluffyNight (CcinoxNightmare) is canon. So now unless I was told wrong or Joku changes their mind, all Nightmare ships that aren't FluffyNight are out the window.

Alright with that out of the way: It isn't gonna work.

In case no one noticed, Cross is both a memelord and can be an asshat at times as depicted in "Adventures of XChara and Swap!Chara" when he intentionally scares Palette and Goth. He also tricked Goth into giving him all of his chocolate milk before getting his ass beat by Geno. Then when Dream and Nightmare run into him, Nightmare just wants to stick around because "it's funny" after Dream declares he'll try to help get Cross out of a vending machine Geno stuck him in.

Lesson learned: Don't screw with Geno or any of his kids.

So Cross is both an asshole and memey as hell. Nightmare literally doesn't give a fuck and just wishes to feed off negativity.

Aaand they literally don't care about each other.

That was probably their only interaction OUTSIDE of Underverse and fanfic within a sort of canon multiverse. Literally Epicross is more likely since he and Epic are actually best friends.

and then IN Underverse, they were literally using EACH OTHER. Cross used Nightmare to gain access to other worlds to rebuild his own world, and Nightmare used Cross to gain a minion to spread negativity without telling him about the "fine print". They literally tried to manipulate EACH OTHER.

I mean, I guess if they DID decided if they liked each other in some sort of other timeline it COOOOUUUULLLLDDDDD work...? Like, Cross can be an asshole so i guess that causes negativity..?

As for Cross being a memelord, he puts up with 3 idiots already. Does he really need more...?

But the real question is: Can CROSS. Put up with NIGHTMARE?

Can Cross deal with Nightmare just laughing at his misery when he needs help and what not?

But THATS JUST A THEORY-

Anyhow now to speculate on relationship possibilities :3

So even though it's pretty low due to Nightmare already being taken apparently and their large seemingly disinterest in each other, let's just say they somehow managed? Would the relationship actually work or would it sink like a tank?

alright lets look at the facts:

-Nightmare feeds off negativity, therefore creates it by attacking AUs but keeps them alive

-Cross can be a jerk but is good friends with Epic and are meme buddies

-Nightmare is "deceiving, erratic, unpredictable and evil" according to the canon wiki

-"When he was younger, said he was very smug, to which he loudly denies, only to be yelled at."

-"At first, Cross was far more compassionate as the , wanting to believe in even when he tried to kill him. But when Frisk took control of their friends, including Cross' brother , he lost all faith in him, and used all of his power to stop him by killing his former friends, even ruthlessly killing Papyrus and absorbing soul."

-"His greed and recklessness... he had a mental breakdown and became completely delusional over the loss of his own world..."

-"Despite this, he becomes excited and obsessive over tacos and chocolate, and was very friendly towards before he told Cross that he couldn't revive the dead. Afterwards, he acts arrogant towards others and is disgusted by everything around him."

-"He also became very selfish..."

BY THE BY, ALL OF THE QUOTES ARE FROM THE WIKI-

So what we got is:

Nightmare is deceiving. He was very smug even before the apple incident. Cross used to be compassionate, but has lost all faith. So the instant he is back stabbed, he never forgets. He is greedy, selfish, and reckless now after his world is gone. He was still very friendly to Ink though when they first met, and acted arrogant after wards.

So it would seem Cross is very friendly at first, but turns from compassionate and energetic to arrogant and selfish the moment he's betrayed.

And Nightmare tricked him and tried to kill him in Underverse.

But if it was another timeline where Underverse didn't happen, they... Well.

It's possible for them to not hate each other?

I mean- Cross won't hate him if he doesn't betray him. He'll actually be more friendly than hostile. Same can't be said about Nightmare though. He is 'smug' and 'deceiving'. So they'll probably have more of a subject/master relationship. But i have seen a lot of fanfic where Nightmare is attracted to Cross's loyalty and his pride meter gets kicked down a notch?

then there's if they DO get together.

god knows how well the other members of the team would take Cross being the favorite of Nightmare. depending on how well they take it it can go from:

silent treatment to bullying to all sorts of shit.

since Cross is very compassionate and friendly at first, he'll probably try to get to know the others. if they prove to be hostile and unfriendly, it's likely Cross could possibly act hostile to them back and things get chaotic with possibly the three rebelling. Then there's if they are okay with it, what about Ink? Ink and Cross used to be friends, so there's a lot of tension between them.

Ink knew Cross well, so he might try to take advantage of what he knows to hurt Nightmare.

But, could they work if nothing goes wrong?

Yeah, i think they could. Cross is very loyal so he could possibly both keep up the relationship and continue to farm negativity for Nightmare even if the others start to slack off. Especially since he's not as lazy as compared to the others since he was never "trained to be lazy".

Overall: Canonically? OH HELL NO-

In another universe or timeline? Maaayyybbeeee...? It really depends.

#analysis #ship analysis #cross #nightmare #crossmare #nightcross #crightmoss #nightmare x cross #xtale #dreamtale #sans #undertale #undertale au #ship

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millennialzadr · 5 years

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WHY I LOVE ZADR!!!

HEY GUYS WHASSUP? LMAO

So this is a whole ass giant long post of me absolutely spewing my feelings of love for ZADR, it was the very first thing I wrote when I made this blog and I think it’s a nice, positive thing for my fellow shippers to inhale and enjoy 👌👌

it was originally a reply to mitarashiart’s post about why HE loves ZADR (link in replies) but I decided to delete that and make my own post since MY WHOLE ENTIRE TEXT WALL WAS SHOWN IN THE REPLIES and drowned out anyone else who was trying to talk (thanks tumblr mobile u fuckin idiot)

I had also posted a summary of an AU that I’m working on in the original post, but decided to remove it since it just about doubled the length (I’m thinking about posting it separately along with the wips I’ve been putting together, we’ll see 👀)

But ANYWAY, here is about a million reasons why I think ZADR is the fucking best, so if you like reading gushy gay ship feelings, please enjoy ❤️❤️❤️

[Posted June 2019][WARNING, LONG ASS THOUGHT BARF]

SOOO, holy hell y’all my journey back into this fandom has been a wild and unique experience for me, i went from adding invader zim to my bookmarks on kisscartoon, rewatching the series, finding out theres a movie coming out, finding out there was a shitload of content i’d never seen before (commentaries, lost episode scripts and audios, panels, the COMIC, episodes i’d never seen because the dvd i used to watch was scratched!! and a FUCKLOAD of quality modern fan art like oh my GOD) and finally curiously googling ‘zadr’ (which i was way into when i was maybeee 13/14) to see if there was any interesting new art, and holy hell, mita (the artist above) singlehandedly THREW me down the hole into modern zadr hell, first with his absolutely stunning IZ art (all his art is dope tho check him out yo), then reading the above explanation put the final nail in the coffin like, 100%

so i wanted to add onto his post here on why this ship got me so fucked up, both for anyone who might be wondering why on earth i’m shipping two characters from a kid’s show (i’m very aware how weird that is at first glance trust me) and also so i can get some ideas down for possible future reference (will i ever draw them? maybe)

(first of all, a disclaimer, and this is not pleasant to write but it’s important to address for clarity’s sake: I have no interest in romantic or sexual relationships between minors, and do not ship zim and dib as they are presented canonically in the show (as children). what i’m interested in is the conceptualized relationship they may have as modern adults, and i view zadr more as taking the concepts of existing characters and experimenting with them with different interpretations, which i personally think is a constructive and fun creative outlet, especially if these characters hold personal significance for you (childhood faves of course). growing up together is an important facet of their relationship, and certainly they were important to each other even as children (see: mopiness of doom) but as an adult i’m personally curious about what kind of adults they might’ve become, and that’s the focus of my interest. i’ll still be reblogging regular IZ art because it’s dope but if you see shippy looking art of them as tiny lil beans its either friendship or chibis (and i personally headcanon zim as getting taller with dib but some people stick with his canonical height when drawing them as adults, which is super short. it still doesn’t mean he’s a kid). aaand i wish i didnt have to write this and it would just be obvious but we live in a sick sad world and it is sourced from a children’s cartoon so i feel its necessary. end of disclaimer)

NOW THAT THAT’S OUT OF THE WAY

- ok, first reason’s a bit obvious - the nostalgia. holy hell, the feeling of rediscovering a ship that was popular when i was a preteen during the mid 2000s and discovering a totally new perspective on it as an adult comes with an almost totally overwhelming sense of nostalgia and comfort, as well as inspiration!! the kind of art that seems so common for zadr, these sketch pages of scenes and expressions and visual gags where artists would just scribble every idea they had and LOVE doing it, this was exactly the kind of art that made me so passionate about drawing as a kid, and it still sparks such a powerful feeling of love and admiration for me to this day. fan content of iz and zadr is simultaneously achingly familiar and totally new and fascinating, and it just makes me SO damn happy to consume, it is most definitely my new comfort content. and just, GOD. THE ART!! SO GOOD. FUCK

- now for the characters themselves: for some reason i just really love the thought of a mid twenties, modern Dib?? lanky goth dork, disaster bi, depressed as shit, uses bad sweaters and memes to cope?? when i was a kid i didn’t even LIKE Dib, but now i totally sympathize with him! he’s just a hyper obsessive nerd wishing there was more to life than the situation he got stuck with, how wildly relatable. he was a pretty big asshole as a kid (even to people besides zim) but he was also totally isolated and constantly bullied, so there’s a lot of room for growth. i feel there’s a lot of juicy character development potential for that boy, and there’s always been a special place in my heart for characters who are totally sad and screwed and hopeless, but there’s one thing, or person, that means the world to them and could possibly save them…

- aliens. Zim. i love nonhuman characters, i love monsters, i love aliens, i love characters that don’t understand human shit (and thus have much less room for shame or fear bc theyre just totally oblivious the negatives of modern society) and need guidance (bonding!!) from their human. i also love morally grey characters and characters with skewed logic, they’re always really interesting, and Zim himself just has such a unique personality and set of mannerisms, he contradicts himself a lot and you can never quite expect how he’ll behave, and i love that in a character, it makes them super versatile and fun, especially since there’s so many different possibilities for their development. Also, Zim is a gremlin, a little shit, and a disaster. I also love those traits in a character. And don’t even get me started on his character design?? big sparkly eyes? expressive antennae? monster teeth? complimenting colors? he’s adorable.

- mutual obsession. for someone like Dib, who seems almost repulsed by how boring and slow the people around him are, Zim quite literally personifies Dib’s escapist fantasies, both as an inhuman entity from beyond the stars, and as a person who’s knowledge, charisma and mystery far exceeds that of anyone Dib has met in his entire life. (so basically what i’m saying is that for a shunned, jaded misanthropist, an actual alien is terribly alluring, even if said alien is dangerous, stupid, and possibly insane). not to mention Zim vindicates Dib’s entire life passion, the supernatural! Even when their relationship is totally negative, there is not a single inch of room for Dib to get tired of Zim. as mita explained, they validate each other. for Zim, WHO AGAIN, IS TOTALLY SHUNNED, ISOLATED, AND HATED BY EVERYONE HE KNOWS, Dib is the only person in the universe who gives a single shit about him!! he gives Zim credit as a threat, a capable invader, which if you ask me is the sole thing Zim is after (he’s hellbent on his mission because it would win him the approval of the tallest, all he’s ever wanted is recognition from the people he thinks so highly of). He literally gets depressed when Dib isn’t around to pay attention to him, not even the tallest were enough to motivate him before Dib came back. these two have no one and nothing without each other, and while lifelong nemeses is fine and dandy, i personally prefer friendship, affection and love, cause i’m a softie like that. how could they possibly get there after years of actively trying to kill each other?? well, i think under just the right circumstances it could become a possibility after a long, long time.

- growth. i. love. me. some. good. character growth. especially for characters with trauma/mental illness, bc again, relatable. these boys have issues, and as mita mentioned, their canon stories are actually INCREDIBLY sad! but the happy thought is, they could recover! they could help each other recover, for little reason other than the two are the only source of happiness for each other. now of course this also opens the gate for angst lovers, but at the same time offers potential for comforting, uplifting content of the boys supporting and inspiring each other, maybe even to the point of becoming happy and healthy enough to create the lives they want for themselves (as in appreciating life and doing things that make them actually happy instead of the delusions of grandeur they both sought when they were younger). gimme that positive shit and let the poor beans be happy щ(ಠ益ಠщ)

- LITTLE THINGS. LITTLE THINGS THAT ONLY COME WITH CHILDHOOD FRIENDS. WITH HUMAN/NONHUMAN. WITH THE SHOW’S WEIRD LOGIC. Zim being the person Dib knows best and vice versa. Zim having an involuntary respect/admiration for Dib because he’s tall. Learning each other’s needs, limits, and communication methods, both emotionally and biologically. Sensitive antennae. Affectionate bickering. Being less insecure bc your partner literally has no idea why you see your flaws as flaws. Laughing at the flaws they do notice because they make no sense. Zim only wanting to eat waffles and chow mein. Dib being forced to overcome his depression lethargy and stay hygienic/keep the apartment clean because Zim has a sharper sense of smell and is afraid of germs. Endless conversation about anything and everything because they’re from literally different worlds, and endless intrigue. TOUCHING. TALKING. DOING EVERYTHING LIKE ITS THE VERY FIRST TIME AND ALWAYS NEEDING THE OTHER TO GUIDE THEM. HOLY HELL THERE IS SO MUCH POSSIBILITY FOR TINY LITTLE MOMENTS THAT MEAN THE WORLD. FUCK. GOT ME FUCKED UP.

so that wraps up the why. fuck man. its just such a good ship. if you read this big ass text post, thank you for indulging me, i hope you enjoyed it! because i enjoy it very much 👀 so stick around if you’d like to for a shit load of IZ and zadr content on this blog, possibly (MAYBE) even from me!! come roll around in alien hell with me why dontcha ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ its a fun time! thanks for reading!!!

SO THAT’S MY MANIFESTO Y’ALL, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH YOUR OWN REASONS!! I WOULD LOVE FOR THIS POST TO JUST BECOME A BIG GIANT PILE OF LOVE AND YELLING!! GO NUTS! SCREAM ABOUT IT! INFODUMP! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! I’LL READ EVERY LAST REPLY! Y’ALL DESERVE TO ENJOY YOUR SHIP BC IT’S LITERALLY THE FUCKING BEST!!! LOVE Y’ALL!!!!!!

#in this trying time of shippers being stressed over discourse #i offer a gift<3 because i love you guys #and we should spread the love #i want yall to go OFF #tell me every little fuckin thing about zadr that makes ur heart doki OK #LETS GO 👏👏👏#invader zim #zadr #text post #my post #long post

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ckret2 · 4 years

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would you mind explaining "Careless whisper" "I will always love you" and "Friend please"? no pressure though!

Oh god you chose two of the meme-iest songs! Both in one post! I can’t believe it!

Okay.

This took me forever to write because I wrote half of it and then got distracted for weeks and didn’t get back to it until I got a fresh ask today with some more songs and I was like, crap, I should finish this one.

So the first three paragraphs in this post still apply here, I’m not gonna copy paste them, go read those paragraphs if you haven’t yet. tl;dr i’m answering questions about why i included songs on my radiosnake spotify playlist because i like rambling for thousands of words at a time, also the playlist is based on a fic i wrote.

Feel free to keep sending me questions about more songs on the playlist. Explanations under the read more, assuming the read more works, which I make no guarantee of because this is tumblr.

Careless Whisper (Lyrics)

… except, the jazzy version.

So lemme tell you a story about how “Careless Whisper” came up and then I’ll explain why it actually belongs on the playlist.

The only way I can outline a story is by sitting down with another person and rambling the plotline at them, copy pasting it into another document, and bam that’s an outline.

Right now, in the disjointed process of outlining a sequel to Cold Day In Hell, I’m sort of chunking random ideas at a couple friends to see what sticks. One idea is that, when Alastor is drunk, he’s 90% worse at pretending he totally doesn’t care about Sir Pentious at all. If they’re ever drunk at the same social event, he will subtly (not subtly at all) follow him around all night like a puppy and hang on to his every word, automatically playing this sort of nonsense in the background.

One of my friends announced sadness that it didn’t start off with “Careless Whisper,” so I checked Postmodern Jukebox (the fastest/easiest/most common way to translate a modern song into Alastor Aesthetic) to see if they had made a jazz cover (they had), and I reassured my friend that the PMH cover definitely played every second song while drunk!Alastor was mooning over (and/or looming over) Sir Pentious.

And then I went oh goddammit the lyrics actually fit, dammit, now I’ve gotta put it on the playlist.

So I put it on the playlist.

Here’s the great thing about song lyrics. Even if everyone knows that the lyrics mean one thing, language is inherently ambiguous and you can totally just decide to read the lyrics a slightly different way if you really really want to and the exact wording doesn’t make it impossible. Everyone KNOWS that “Careless Whisper” is about cheating, but it never SAYS it’s about cheating (like, it says “cheat a friend,” but like the singer could’ve cheated their friend at cards? it doesn’t say), so you can just decide that it’s about any other kind of betrayal in a relationship! Like, say, blowing up your ally’s steampunk airship fleet. The song never says it ISN’T about a steampunk airship fleet.

So let’s just establish right now that this song is no longer about cheating. That’s out the window.

In the original song, “dancing” is probably intended as a metaphor for having sex. In THIS context, it is literally dancing. The emotional core of CDIH, the moment around which the rest of the story rotates, is the night that Alastor and Sir Pentious dance together. And although Alastor no doubt dances plenty of times after leaving Sir Pent, he’s certainly never going to dance like that again—like he’s with a lover, like he wants to be touching his dance partner, rather than either alone or while distastefully putting up with physical contact with someone who doesn’t matter to him.

The interpretation of the line “careless whispers of a good friend” that I think is probably Most Common is that a friend of the singer’s lover warned the lover that the singer is cheating on them, and the singer thinks that the fact that the lover now knows is worse than not knowing at all, because now that the lover knows they can never go back to normal, hence why the friend was being careless. Aside from any questions of, like, whether or not that’s a sound opinion at all—I’ve always interpreted that line differently. Since the singer refers to their lover as a “friend” (“should have known better than to cheat a friend”), I’ve always assumed that the singer would refer to themself as their lover’s friend, and so the “careless whispers of a good friend” were the whispers that the singer themself made that started whatever affair it is they had.

And so that assumption—that the “good friend” that said something they shouldn’t have is the singer—is the interpretation I’m carrying into the song’s inclusion in the playlist. In this case, it’s Alastor’s decision to lie to Sir Pent about how he feels about him (claiming that he never cared & that he was just screwing around with his emotions) before running off that are the “careless whispers” because, although not exactly whispery, they do have the same effect as in the song: ever since he said them, there’s been an unmendable rift between Alastor and Sir Pent (which was, like, his objective, but he’s still not happy about it)—and, more than that, it was very careless. Alastor had intended for his actions to just push Sir Pent away, not to effectively ruin Sir Pent’s ambitions to rule hell completely. But, that’s what happened. Because he didn’t think anything through. He just said and did the very first things he could think of to push Sir Pent away. Extremely careless.

And, of course, the specific version that got included was chosen because it sounds jazzy. Yay for PMJ, making all sorts of songs Alastor-ready.

I Will Always Love You (Lyrics)

… except, the super dark version.

So I figured out at some point that the easiest way I was gonna find Alastor music was through jazz-style covers of songs a la Postmodern Jukebox, 1) because PMJ has been actually mentioned as among the limited varieties of modern music that Alastor would listen to by virtue of the fact that they do covers that sound like what he used to listen to, and 2) because Puff here isn’t actually a fan of jazz and it’s a lot easier for me to slowly wade into the water via jazzy covers of songs I already know than it is for me to fling myself into the deep end like “appreciate Jelly Roll Morton! Appreciate Jelly Roll Morton NOW!!!”

(I am slowly and laboriously training myself to be a fan of jazz, because Alastor is a RADIO HOST from NEW ORLEANS in the ROARING TWENTIES AND A LITTLE BIT OF THE THIRTIES, i will NOT be writing him while in complete ignorance of a subject that probably occupied a huge portion of his life.)

So due to the fact that I was looking for PMJ-esque genre-switching covers of songs, I drifted over to other genre-switching song cover acts like Chase Holfelder to go through the songs and go “hm wonder of any of these work." This song is an exception to the genres I’m looking for for Alastor, but it still makes the list because like, the vibe is just right.

Have y'all ever actually listened to/read the lyrics to "I Will Always Love You” before? Not just the AAAND IIIIIIIII-IIII-IIIIIII WILL ALWAAAYS LOVE YOOOOO-OO-OOOU bit but the actual lyrics. They’re sad. The lyrics are “I deeply love you but if I stayed with you I would only hold you back so i’m going to leave you because it’s for the best but i’m super sad about it and i always will be.”

Now, that doesn’t 100% line up with Alastor’s situation. Because, like, obviously, he was doing the exact opposite of holding Sir Pent back when they were together, and fearing holding Sir Pent back was not the reason he left.

But it is among the reasons he avoids the hell out of him now. The primary reasons, of course, are still “being in love is scary and i do not want to do that so maybe if i avoid him i can continue pretending that i am not in love?” and “lmao he justifiably hates me now so why try"—but #3 on his list is the recognition that, since they broke up, Alastor’s actions have caused a constant cascade of events that have held Sir Pent back ever since. (And Alastor also suspects that there might actually be some kind of legitimate curse or fate or something going on here—that part of Alastor’s role in hell is playing the part of Sir Pent’s personal hellish divine punishment.) So he didn’t leave because he’s sabotaging Sir Pent’s ambitions; but he sabotaged Sir Pent’s ambitions because he left.

And therefore, as a consequence, he should stay away from Sir Pent now. He shouldn’t beg forgiveness and a second chance—because he doesn’t deserve them, and because he might make it worse.

This particular cover of the song really kicks the anguish up into high gear. The most common Whitney Houston version is like, okay she’s brokenhearted, but also somehow somewhat empowered by the brokenheartedness—like even though she’s leaving sad and bitter, in her heart she knows that the decision she’s making is for the best for her beloved, and she can draw strength from that. There is no drawing strength from the decision in the Chase Holfelder version—just using it up. It’s like he’s burning through all of his reserves of strength to push his loved one away. When Whitney hits the big note, she’s pulling power into herself to belt that out. When Chase hits the big note, he’s pouring out every last bit of power left inside his body. You can imagine Whitney walking away from this song with her head held high and her back straight but Chase is just gonna collapse to his knees with his shoulders hunched and head bowed—completely empty, a husk. That’s the vibe I want with Alastor—that every single day of his self-imposed exile he’s losing a little piece of himself, hollowing himself out. He can’t draw strength from it.

Typically, when I’m picking songs for this playlist, I don’t pay much attention to the gender of the singer (my only main priority on this playlist is that by the time it’s done I want the genders of the singers to be roughly balanced on both Sir Pent’s part and Alastor’s part), but in this case I think the fact that the singer is male contributes to it working for Alastor the way another version with a female singer wouldn’t. Not entirely sure why—maybe because, even though the voice doesn’t sound anything like his, it’s easier to actively imagine Alastor singing the song when it’s got a male voice? Maybe because, thanks to Sexism In Society, a woman saying "I’m leaving you because I’d get in the way of your dreams” more easily comes across as “Oh… I am simply not good enough for you… I’d hold you back…” while a man saying “I’m leaving you because I’d get in the way of your dreams” more easily comes across as “I wouldn’t hold you back, I’d push you down. I’m dangerous for you.” And the latter fits Alastor better.

(But hey, if any of you know of any versions of “I Will Always Love You” with a female singer that makes her sound dangerous as hell, feel free to recommend them to me. Not because I’m looking to replace the version I’ve already got but just because I’d really like to hear it.)

Currently, it’s listed as the last song on the Alastor portion of the playlist. I recently reorganized it so that the Sir Pent portions and Alastor portions each flow from the shallowest/most surface emotions down to the deeper/truer/more hidden emotions, and even before I did that reorganization, “I Will Always Love You” has been the closing song on Alastor’s side since it was added to the playlist. That feels like the right note to leave it on: after everything else has been said, once every other layer and lie has been stripped away, the deepest and truest and last thing Alastor would have to say to Sir Pent is “I hope life treats you kind and I hope you have all you’ve dreamed of” and an anguished screaming declaration of love.

Friend Please https://genius.com/Twenty-one-pilots-friend-please-lyrics

So remember when I said that language is inherently ambiguous and if you want you can totally just choose to read words differently if the wording doesn’t actually prevent that interpretation? This song is clearly about suicide. I have decided for the purposes of this playlist it is not about suicide anymore! It’s still about depression but not about suicide! When the singer was like “Please don’t take your life away from me” what he meant is “Please don’t take your life, and also, I am emphasizing that if you do so you are removing yourself from my life to try to show you how much you mean to me,” but how I have decided to interpret it for this playlist is “literally do not remove your life from my life, as in, like, don’t run away and stop talking to me.”

So. As I mentioned in my last song meta post, there’s sort of two—not genres, but like, musical aesthetics that I’m drawing from for Sir Pent: Victorian-ish/steampunk-ish sounds, and emo stuff because Vivz said that’s what he actually listens to. Twenty One Pilots fits the criteria for emo for me—idk and idc if other people consider them emo, they toured with Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco, they count as far as I’m concerned—so they’re actually among the bands I’ve been intending to specifically look at for potential Sir Pent Songs.

For the most part, they’re, like, too good at the sad millennial vibe. But that song works.

“Friend, Please” comes low on Sir Pent’s portion because it’s deep in the more genuine emotions—I’ve actually considered putting it last and may still do so, it would make a nice counterpoint to “I Will Always Love You"—actually I’m gonna go do that, gonna go shuffle the playlist, there, good—and it’s also something that he couldn’t/wouldn’t say until after he knows about Alastor’s deep thoughts. Reinterpreted so that it’s not about suicide, it becomes about a friend who’s still depressed, but the focus of the song becomes about the friend’s self-isolation—a self-isolation that’s fueled by denial and self-delusion, the friend convincing themself that they’re alone, always will be, and can’t/won’t have anyone else in their life again that they can depend upon.

Which, although he doesn’t necessarily seem to be depressed, is certainly the vibe Alastor gives off in the show—that despite his overly-friendly overly-familiar attitude, he probably keeps everyone else at a great emotional distance. In canon he might be okay with that. In fic, he’s doing that at the expense of pushing away a person he loves very much—and then pushing away anyone that could help him cope with that loss. Leaving him very alone and perpetually disguising himself as fine with that. Maybe, when he can go years without having to see Sir Pent, he can be fine with that.

But I have Big Plans for that sequel and you know item #1 on the list is "stick Alastor and Sir Pent in a position where they’ll have to cross paths all the time so that it’s like threading a giant needle with barbed wire, stabbing the needle into Alastor’s heart, and slowly dragging the barbed wire straight through.”

And after that? Living like a ghost, claiming he’s fine when he’s been completely emotionally drained, is gonna be a pretty accurate description of his mental state.

Right now, Sir Pent is in no way close enough to Alastor to know that—and in no way sympathetic enough toward him to care even if he did know. He still hates Alastor for completely ruining his life. But there’s still that part of him that used to care about Alastor and still could come to care about him again. And if that part gets revived, and if he gets close enough to Alastor to see how miserable he’s made himself by trying to push everyone away and denying that he’s pushed his own mental state into as bad a state as it’s currently in, his reaction would be “you absolute dumbass” followed by trying to shout some sense into Alastor by pointing out that every one of his problems is caused not by external factors, but by his own damn screwed-up perception of the world. Like, every one of his problems he made himself, and he can unmake them. He’s just got to uncover his eyes first.

It’s easy for fandom to just, like, characterize Sir Pent as an all-around dumbass—strategically, socially, emotionally, etc. Until and unless we see otherwise—and see it so firmly that even I can’t find ways to headcanon around it, and believe you me, I can headcanon my way around a lot of things—I choose to believe that the only areas he’s definitely a dumbass in are “understanding modern slang” and “remembering NOT to charge into battle without considering the odds the second he sees somebody he hates.” This means that I like to believe he also has a reasonable level of emotional intelligence, and a healthy level of compassion that he can deploy, when he so chooses, on someone he considers worthy of that compassion. He’s evil, yes, but self-professed evil, which means self-aware evil; which means that even though there’s gotta be something fucked up with his worldview for him to choose to be evil, it is a choice he’s making, not something he’s doing specifically because he believes it’s right/necessary. And he can turn it off when he decides he’s with someone that deserves it.

Now, is Alastor on that list? Not currently, hell no. But there’s potential for him to make it on the list—that potential for Sir Pent to care about him again, to want to see him throw off the things that he’s using to hold himself back, to want to see him become better and happier, to want him back in Sir Pent’s life—buried somewhere deep beneath Sir Pent’s burned emotions and decades of resentment.

#(i've got asks for five and a half other songs on the playlist)#(i'll get to them uhhh... soonish)#mementomori #ask #music #about my writing #(sorta?? my writing comes up)#meta #hazbin hotel #headcanons #radiosnake

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gizkasparadise · 5 years

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aaand fanfic questions for anon <3

44. What ship do you feel needs more attention? iron bull/lavellan, revan/malak, kassandra/brasidas, jaina/kyp, kara/sam, fighting agathons, basically everyone please write my OTPs :P

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic? no one can stop me, not even gravity or nasa is like, serious goals for writing. it’s so amazing and i’ve read it like 5 times

46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

ummm crossroads because it’s a reylo fic that’s a love letter to knights of the old republic and battlestar galactica

47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why?

oh Ao3 by a landslide.

FFNet: formatting and uploading process from hell; ugly af interface

tumblr: no one comments 8(, it’s hard for me to keep content organized, my formatting gets screwed up all the time

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obsoletehumanity · 3 years

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now playing: headlights by charlie cunningham

whew. it's 4:30am on the last day of 2020. I can't sleep. and somehow I've found myself back on Tumblr, posting on this, because I can't use Twitter as a scream sandbox anymore. too many of my tutors from undergrad and other people are following me. so here I am, heh.

the funny thing is that despite all this time, it feels like I only go in circles. yes, I'm doing much better at this life thing. I'm no longer a failure in an academic/Asian sense - if it's not enough being at Oxford for postgrad + getting first class honours for undergrad at Bristol... well, fuck me.

it is true that the things that I worry so much whilst I was in JC and letting down people and being castigated to the ash heap of history and people's lives have passed. it hasn't been that bad. in a way, I've proven myself. in some ways, I should totally give the middle fingers to all the teachers at Hwach who have wished to see me fail in one way or another. fuck you, to the one who wrote "why do you even bother doing physics" on my prelim exam script. fuck the teachers who still give me nightmares 7 years after I've left Hwach. to those who act faux-compassionate and went out to set up tuition centres, may karma find you.

but above all that I still feel like a bloody failure. I don't have a job lined up after graduation. I have so many things I still need to do (yes, I don't have abs and all; I can't master Dutch for nuts; my net worth is still... bleh. I don't have a student loan and my stocks have done pretty well so I do have somewhat more money that most of my peers at my age, but still...), and ultimately, I can't find the energy to love myself. I just can't get over the fact that I'll never be enough and that this is who I am - I will only be this ordinary person that will get casted out and sidelined by people even if I try my hardest and my very best, and for arbitrary reasons. I know this world is unfair. it always is, but it feels like I'm always working against it in some ways and for what?

and I feel like what I've been doing for the past 2.5-3 years has been trying to reconfirm that. I know I'm broken so I make myself even more damaged so that I prove that no one will ever want me or think I'm salvageable. having a bit too much sex for the last few years. when I can't count the number of nationalities I've screwed with both hands. when I've fucked someone on the three trips I've taken in 2020 before Covid happened; and 8 at Club Church just before I had to take a flight back. me at Club Church? 18 year old me would never think about it. ha. but here I am.

I remember the time good friend S was worried about me being on Grindr and everything. Maybe... he still should, but I don't ever want him to worry about me. I told him before that I don't gain much pleasure from it. I don't. but he doesn't know that at the end of the day I just want, for a split second, to feel accepted and "loved", and that's the thing that I gain from it. aaand this is ironic because my first hookup with a guy, Calvin Harris and Sam Smith's Promises played in his car just after we screwed and he wanted to bring me to somewhere where you could see the Clifton Suspension Bridge. and the entire meaning behind Promises is literally having someone for the night. but yeah. me, using sex and me being promiscuous as a way to just make myself broken, damaged, and unrepairable to the Asian gaze, so that I prove myself right. go me!

I know I'm incoherent. but I guess what I want to say is that all my life what I wanted is just to be accepted for who I am but it always feels so distant. And I seem to be actively self-sabotaging that by making myself for damaged. I don't seem to be good enough for anyone, and people have proven that to be true before. and maybe all I wish is someone to just like and love me despite all the damage that I am, how 'used' and filthy I am. this is stupid and idiotic, but I wonder if the shorter-than-me and smaller-than-me robotic surgeon in Melb did have his way and raped me, would it make much of a difference, given that I already feel so dirty as a being myself?

also - I don't think I'm even good enough for my friends... I really feel I'm just a huge burden on my life, and it is true, I am. will anyone remember me if I'm gone? maybe a few will... but that's it.

but I won't ever yeet myself because I lost a grandparent to suicide and I've seen first-hand how that stuff really screws people up. and I've been trying to make sure people don't go the same path. life is shite, but there will always be a glimmer of hope. and even if I can't see that myself sometimes, I just hope others do. in a way I feel like my life... is just about being there for others. is this ego death? I don't even feel like my life is really that important except having enough money to survive and not be emotionally abused or held hostage to the whims of my parents or to society at large. I'm not sure if I'm truly motivated by anything except 1) being financially independent (so that I don't have to deal with being held emotionally hostage), 2) care and concern for my friends and 3) just a huge desire to be accepted and loved.

as for 2020... I know people hate the year a lot, and I do too. but were it not for 2020, I don't think I can achieve this level of personal growth, and confirmation that I'm the only person that I can rely on for myself. I do have regrets though. I regret not having enough balls to yeet way more money into my two biggest holdings (which are up 10+ times as of today) when my hand hovered over the button, or loading more stocks in March, or buying more VIX options when I knew something was happening (I hated myself so much for this). Maybe if I did I could somehow (no, I WILL) have seven figures in the bank, lol. But hindsight is 20/20 and I still believe playing things somewhat conservative will save my ass time and time over again. Plus I'm only 24. I still have time.

I also regret having my progress on trying to love myself regress after the entire debacle with * last year. I regret not chilling down more often and instead being stuck in a purgatory of executive dysfunction + stressed not-doing-anything, all the time. But the year has been pretty okay bar the pandemic. At least - I've graduated and for what the degree is worth, I have a pathway to jobs. somehow. and I don't have to live in fear that I have had over the last 20+ years about being cut off by the family because of anything I've done or not done. and hopefully that position will get strengthened further once I'm done with Oggs.

what about 2021? I'm just going to focus on 1) strengthening my financial position (which translates to less emotional turmoil if ever induced on the family front), 2) getting a job (and hopefully staying in the UK/Europe), and 3) being a better friend to people; and 4) being a better person to people in general. 5) Survive and thrive, because 2020 had royally screwed my plans to, so they aren't going to get in my way for 2021.

it's 5:30am now. and I'm not sure if I wrote anything useful or readable for the last hour. I just really hate myself at times and I wish I could just be enough for my friends, if I'm not good enough for anyone else. I really fucking do care about all of them, and my two sisters. I just hope they know. I hope I've done enough and will continue to do enough and be enough for all of them.

is this how K felt when I read his posts and knew his inner thoughts? this isn't even going to my finsta, and never will. I just hope K's alright. I really hope he is. I'm not used to radio silence from him. and to the eyedealmentality dude I follow on here. hope you're well too Mikey, I haven't heard from you in years. and to the person I once loved and probably still will forever. I know I will never be the person you want, and that's okay. I don't think we were meant for each other, and that is fine. I just hope you are well too. stay safe, take care, and may your future be brighter than what you've expected in your wildest dreams.

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fair-fae · 7 years

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Hello. I'm relatively new to the game and to Balmung, but I've been warned about you and Val over and over by friends and people I've just met - mostly other fc leads. I want to know why that is? I followed you, but haven't seen anything particularly bad.

Hello there and welcome to FFXIV! :D I couldn’t really tell you specifically (at least without having some idea of who was saying it), that’s something you’d have to ask them since that’s their judgement, after all. But in general, I’ve led FC’s and such since not long after 2.0′s launch, I’ve had my fair share of people I’ve had to reject or remove, sometimes that comes with hurt feelings, and some I know for a fact have told their friends their own version of things, who have then “warned” other people despite not knowing us at all personally or not witnessing anything firsthand. I also had someone start a pretty nasty rumor about me almost three years ago that still follows me, and has been kept alive by others knowing about it and using it for leverage. Aaand as you can probably see tonight, I’m opinionated and tend to speak out if I see something happening that I think is wrong, which can rub people the wrong way. I’m not meaning to make excuses; I’m sure some people just find me annoying or think something I’ve done is shitty or that I’m a horrible person for one reason or another, but I’m not overly concerned, either I’ve screwed up or I haven’t, and people’s perceptions don’t always play into that.As for Val? I couldn’t really say, poor guy just gets lumped in with me since some people act like we’re a hivemind and often assume that we’re involved IRL. Good or bad, I hope you can form your opinions of us on your own (and separately haha)! I’m pretty loud and transparent on my tumblr, so, uh, what’s here is all there is, really.

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wowza48 · 7 years

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Batfam Content War: Halloween week edition: Second Prompt Celebration

(S/I OC reincarnation into a female Dami thingy no one asked for because why not, who has psychic powers for no reason, and in first person because I felt like it. Steph seems like the only one celebrating here, if only a little, but that’s just because of when I placed this)

“Brown... why, exactly, are you and my sister in my bedroom?” I ask, despite already knowing why, hearing it from her own mind. I’m still not used to that, even though I have had said ability for all of this life. Plus Cassandra’s mind just feels strange in comparison to other people’s.

Being reborn, biologically at least, as a girl was strange. Being reborn as a female version of a male fictional character was stranger. Being reborn as a female Damian Al Ghul Wayne, having to deal with all the shit Ra’s, Talia, and the entire League of Assassins put me through, on top of somehow being born with psychic abilities that the real Damian didn’t have? Yeah, that took some getting used to. Also, long hair- I always wanted long hair, but it was curly and I was bad at caring for it and- anyway. I sorta decided since I wasn’t even remotely comic book Damian, I wouldn’t try to be, although it turns out some of those traits were... uh, “trained” into him... and thus me.... there may of been a whip involved... yeah.... still having trouble trying to call people by their first names when not in mask, real or a figurative one for the public eye... it’s a work in progress. On the plus side, my relationships with people are better than they were for Real Damian at the beginning! Plus I sort of made friends with Ivy and Harley, which is nice. OH, remind me to tell you about that time with Mad Hatter- rambling while getting off topic, right, sorry, habit from my past life that decided to stick around.

Weirdly enough, being a girl did not stop the “heretic” from being a dude... or from killing me for that matter. I have to tell you, a sword through the gut is a REALLY painful way to die. I though I would either go to the afterlife or reincarnate again, or at the very least go through what happened in the comics with my body being taken to Alpaca...Apolka... ah, screw it, DarseidLand™, planet and home of those happily enslaved, but I actually ended up as a ghost, and just sorta haunted everyone for a bit before they brought me back by Zattana and Martian Manhunter. I kinda think I remember that happening to Harley Quinn in one comic I heard of... don’t quite remember...

Right, anyway, the timeline I’m in is sorta a mesh of post crisis, new 52 and rebirth, or at least I think it is. Most of what I know of the comics are from wikis, fanfics, tumblr and youtube, so... Wait, none of this has to do with why Stephanie in my room! Well, and Cass, but she’s a ninja and she’s not saying anything yet. All she is doing is watching me- worriedly. Ah, good, she knows what I’m feeling.

“Well, you got brought back from being all ghosty just a few weeks before Halloween! Plus there’s a costume ball a week before that, so I decided that Cass and I would help you get costumes for both of them!” Steph replied cheerfully. “So, what do you think about one of your costumes being a fairy princess?” Now, here’s the thing. I like Steph, I really truly do. She’s practically as much of a sister to me as Cass, and she gives great hugs- did I mention I’m a huggy person? Another difference from Real Damian- but... Okay, let me be blunt. There are times she does not seem to realize I am a living person and not a dress up doll. Don’t get me wrong, some dresses are actually as comfy as I previously wondered if they would be, but I don’t want to wear one ALL the time, and since I remember my past life, wearing make up is just... weird and somewhat uncomfortable, and while I have put up with it before for the sake of bonding, I’m just.... tired. Since I came back to life (again) all I could remember was my deaths- yes plural- over and over again. My first death, then several I forgot about that simply led to being tossed into the laz pit, as well as my latest and most violent. Cass seems to understand my plight, and goes to reign her friend in, but I speak up before she could do more than grab Steph’s shoulder.

“As you said, Brown... I just got brought back from the dead. Both of those things you say I need costumes for involve pretending to be happy and okay when I’m not even capable of pretending to be.“ As I say this, she winces, as if she didn’t think of that- she probably didn’t, really. Most likely just thought “oh, Dami’s alive and it’s halloween, let’s give her a childhood stable even though she just came back from the freaking dead!” or something like that- and the glass of water on my nightstand shattered at some point. Wait, maybe THAT is why she winced... I feel the frown on my face turn into more of an annoyed pout than anything else while I psychically lift what shards I could see. I’d hate for Titus or Jasper (So I named the cat after one of my cats from my previous life instead of after the omniscient butler, sue me!) to step on it... the water would have to be cleaned up by hand though, I’m bad with hyrdokinises.

“Okay, how about this then... we all get costumes, your brothers included, AND either get a bunch of candy, or have Alfred make us some treats, and we stay up and have a movie night wearing halloween costumes?” Steph tries again as Cass takes my garbage can out of under my desk and holds it so I can put the shards into it. “... aaand we can have cheesecake!”

Darn her for knowing my weaknesses. “... Can I pick the movies?”

She gets off my Hello Kitty themed bed- why are you looking at me like that! Hello Kitty is a cat, and I just happen to like animals is all! It totally has nothing to do with trying to live out my own Damian headcanons or anything like that!- and pets me on the head “Sure you can, kiddo! Oh, and literally everyone knows about your so called “cheesecake weakness”. You keep making it when you stress bake and you offered at least one slice to everyone you know.”

... stupid psychic powers acting out when I’m stressed.

(that got a little bad there, don’t think I can extend it further without derailing, but I’m tired and also working on a college paper so whatever, this is going to have to do. I’ll post it on fanfiction either later or tomorrow or something)

#batfamcontentwar #halloweencontentwar

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brightlotusmoon · 7 years

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Mikey-isms and neurodivergent linguistics

Okay, so if you have ADHD and or are autistic, you are aware that neurodivergent linguistics is a thing, hopefully - autistic culture has marked fandom and the internet since well before Tumblr was made. So, I was writing a fic, and Mikey was doing his Mikey-isms, and it suddenly made me think about syntax and how Mikey’s particular branch of linguistic creativity - missing words, mixing up phrases, using the wrong word in the wrong context; you know, something that is everyday stuff for many neurodivergent folks - could be immediately apparent and identifiable to friends who really paid attention, say Karai, Mondo, April, even Donnie to a degree (once he stops yelling at him to stop screwing around). I’m trying to figure out how to have Karai and Shinigami have a conversation with Michelangelo without Karai coming across as snotty or condescending regarding her views on anyone she doesn’t approve of. She did just chew Don out for possibly implying that he was jealous of Mikey’s brand of intellect (intelligence obviously being multiple things, but Donnie using it as an overall broad spectrum). I had a heck of a time thinking of a phrase for the Mikeyisms. “Linguistic mishaps” maybe. “Creative mis-conjugation” even. “Syntax tripping” possibly. The classic “It’s on the tip of my tongue” and “I meant to say that but I said this” and “I’m really not this stupid, I swear.” Someone stop me flailing, I can do this. I should have studied linguistics, probably. I should have studied neuropsychology, but I’m here now. Pah. Aaahhhh, what the hell is the woooords. *massages temples* Aaand this is why I’m currently elbow-deep in blogs and articles about mini languages inside small cultures.

#tmnt mikey #language #neuropsychology of michelangelo #linguistics #writing #fanfiction #myfics #my fanfic

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chillingwithasloppystyle · 7 years

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First of aaaaal thanks @mbsav it’s hella sweet of you. Hope you have a nice day.

Tag 9 people who you want to know better

Relationship status: Single and ready to mingle (not really, although..)

Favourite colour: Lilac, or Bordeaux

Lipstick or chapstick: Lipstick

Last song you listened to: Drones In The Valley from Cage The Elephant, I found it through Borderlands and jeez man that song would be great for a montage. Why doesnt anyone make cool montages with the ideas i have man.

Last movie you watched: No clue. The last time I watched a movie on purpose was Prometheus, so I would be ready for Alien: Covenant. Turns out I don’t have money nor friends to go see the movie lol haha

Top 3 Characters: 3. Vi - League of Legends | I fucking love that one girl wrecking crew, how could you not love the mentality based on “Punch first; Ask questions while punching” 2. Sabistuki - . Flow | I don’t know why but i feel connected to her in a weird socially awkward way only tumblr can understand. 1. I serioulsy dont fucking know. There are too many people and it’s to complicated and I’ve literally been working on this for fiveteen minutes. Screw it. Fucking spot number one goes to all the weird people in my dreams. Especially Theressa fucking Anne who hooked me up with cotton candy drugs and got me high. Weird shit.

Top 3 Ships: 3. Nana Grey and Stella - Black Rock Shooter. I mean they are the last people on the planet, something is gonna happen at somepoint. 2. Magnolia and Yew - Bravely Second. Although it would have been more interesting with Edea giving Magnolia the ..well the magnolia, they are still adorable. 1. Player x Companion Cube. - Portal. This one is selfexplanatory

Books you are currently reading: I’m currently reading a philosophy book, but i just can’t find the motivation to actively do it. Wish we had philosophy in school, it would be easier to get into it.

tagging: @pillovvs @emilysmiles-17 @afraid-to-miss @just-tumbling-along aaand I don’t know nine people. Since this is about getting to know people, I hope this is saying a lot about myself in a way.

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icharchivist · 7 years

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I was tagged by the sweet @undonesam and amazing @kigamin, thank you <3

1. Favorite anime?

atm it’s definetly Hunter x Hunter and I can’t think straight about anything else, but in general Fullmetal Alchemist and D. Gray Man are always up there.

2. Worst anime?

oh my I rarely watch anime if i’m not recommanded to watch them so I managed to avoid a lot of bad stuff. But when I started watching anime I fell on some harem anime like L/ove H/ina that made me deeply uncomfortable.

3. Do you read manga that goes with the anime?

Usually ye, I’m actually more the kind to read than to watch anime. For some mangas (dgm and fma for exemple) it’s actually hard for me to watch the anime adaptations at time ahah. Anyway I usually prefer to read the manga so if I start an anime and like it, I will check the manga, or read the manga first.

4. Most favorite genres?

lmao I agree with Kigamin, hxh is it’s own genre and this is a good one. Usually I admit I like adventure stuff, I usually easily get into quite light stories that tends to get somewhat darker as it goes by. I like also thinkpieces, the kind of manga that have you push some thinking in general. I’m really into characters driven stories, especially when you focus on multiple characters.

otherwise I like light comedies, mostly in the romance or sport genre.

5. Least favorite genres?

harem, ecchi, loli/shota, all this kind of stuff. I usually get easily turned off if there’s too much fanservice or gross elements.

6. Favorite character?

oh my. At the moment it’s Kurapika. Like ,,, i’m too invested for this shit I love him ways too much. atm he’s all I can think of.

But Lavi from dgm and Ling/Greed/Greeling from FMA are always quite in the top and considering I’m not as involved in those mangas than in hxh, it’s quite telling that those two remained this high in my favs after all those years.

7. Least favorite character?

depends if you mean “character that I hate because of their actions”, in which case, Shou Tucker from FMA is a really, really good starting point lmao

or “character I don’t especially like and isn’t that much of a bad person but I just don’t like them” in which case, Nea from DGM. And okay, he’s technically a bad person, but considering how everyone talks about him I get r e a l l y pissy because I just. Can’t stand him lmao. (I’m starting to have the same feeling with Mana D.Campbell too). The problem with those two characters is that /I know/ they’re going to be developped more and I’m looking forward to their development because for now, they’re at the really begining of what’s interesting in their storylines, but considering the hiatus and all (although no blame to Hoshino-sensei), I don’t feel much for them and I’m just kinda hicky to see them everywhere. (especially with how quickly people loved Mana while there’s still a major ignoring of the Earl so far and that I think I’m going to yell if I see one more “it’d be cool of the Earl became Mana again” no, fuck you.)

8. Qualities you like in a character?

Suffering.huuh jk jk, but idk.

I usually kinda like the fun and/or teasing character with a Tragic BackStory or kinda dark motivations but who gets kinda torn between the happiness they could have, esp thanks to others people, and the duty they put upon themselves?

It really depends. I love characters that often asks to go a bit deeper to read. I love to analyse characters and see complex characters. But usually if the character is a smart mouth who often teases others characters or try to make them feel better, I tend to love them.

(like, I fell for Kurapika when he was teasing Leorio, he hits about all the others mark, smartmouth, sometimes cheer people up, kinda tragic, complex, following his duty even if it hurts him while he can be happier with his loved ones. A bit the same with Lavi, he’s always teasing, quite a smartmouth, he sometimes cheer people up, he’s really worried for people, but his duty as Bookman holds him back and he’s torn between how he wants to help in the war for his friend and his duty that require him to not have a heart. Ling is a bit less torn about it all but he’s really all about his duty, he’s a smartmouth too, he really puts people in big situations by teasing them, and he usually know what to say to motivate people (like Greed). That’s kind of the patern I’d see with my favs)

9. Short or long anime?

huuuuh mostly I prefer long stories so usually long, but again, I rather read the manga if the medium is too long, I rarely have the attention span to watch a long anime. (ie why it’s a miracle I watched hxh2011 in 3 weeks.)

10. Anime or manga?

Usually Manga (if it wasn’t obvious by now o(-( ). Anime often uses Fillers or cut scenes and both makes me hicky when it goes against the canon’s characters development or kinda screw with the timeline of the manga.

And the thing that usually makes me the saddest about it is that also, I love to see the art progression of the mangaka during the manga. Some changes are spectacular and I love to compare the artstyle, and, rightfully so though, an anime usually try to be coherent in their artstyle but y e. That’s my major grip against the DGM’s anime because the artsyle is either surreal or so beautiful in the manga and the anime doesn’t really manage at either o(-(

11. How do you choose the anime you watch?

Usually it’s intense recommanding from people I trust. A few times it could be because of my tumblr dash (I watched gsnk like that) but usually I need someone I really trust to insist I should watch said anime. (and I’m legit the worst at that, it’s been 6 years a close friend wanted me to start hxh, 1 year that another close friend insisted as well, I started it last December after all this time, so it’s telling of how bad I am with it).

12. Skip or listen to intros/outro?

Always watch and listen to them. A Good anime is an anime I’m trying to sing along the intros/outros of. Besides you never know which anime could hide easter eggs or bonus in or after those!

13. How do you cope with friends or family don’t like you watching anime?

huuuh friends are chill, they know me and they know I get really invested in stuff, sometimes they laugh a little because I’m really getting in too deep but they actually even sometimes push me to talk about it. I have a friend who started some of the animes I kept talking about because of that, it was sweet.

Parents and family is not really good tho. I kinda want to act like “I don’t care” and all, but my family tends to over-tease me on it all, and it often gets downright racist in arguments, so it makes me especially uncomfortable. I’m someone who often wants to talk about the things that I love and I know I can’t really with my close family, which is why I’m so loud on there. If I mention anime or honestly anything I like (or hell, if we end up accidentally zapping on said stuff on TV and I don’t do anything), I get a two hours long teasing that gets kinda hurtful at times and again, when it comes to anime, with a racist edge to them or a “that’s why everyone is violent” lecture.

I suppose this blog is my coping of it all I guess? lmao.

14. Do you stop an anime midway if you don’t like it?

Ye. I mean I stopped midway in animes I actually liked but had no energy to pick up and I’m not sure I’ll even pick them up. Hell, I never finished watching say, FMAB or both anime of DGM because I didn’t feel like it. So if there’s an anime I don’t actively like, I’ll drop it. I don’t like forcing myself to watch stuff.

wouhou that was long.

Anyway I tag @ttachibana, @killuabs, @kimievii, @nadejdaro, @unnoticed-and-necessary, @caruchan- aaand @mariyekos

if you want to ofc :D

Take care!

#tagged #about me

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artificialqueens · 7 years

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The multiple uses of Willam Belli’s big mouth [Wi(Bi)tney] - Spoky

A/N: Useless Valentine’s day fluff with some stupid humour. xx [ I know it’s a day early, but I don’t have time to post this tmr. ]

(( Hi honey. You wanted Witney smut for Valentine’s Day. So, I did my best to write Witney smut. It didn’t really work out… Sorry. Love me anyway? ))

The multiple uses of Willam Belli’s big mouth

‘How do I look?’ Alaska asked once again and glanced down to Courtney, who was sitting on the sofa in her pyjama bottoms.

‘Handsome,’ she replied automatically, smiling. Exactly like last time.

‘What if he-’ Alaska started again but didn’t get far before Willam interrupted her.

‘What if what? He doesn’t like you? Bitch please, you’re everything the guy could ask for on such a short notice.’

Courtney giggled at Willam’s words while Alaska just threw a slipper at him before noting in a slightly annoyed tone: ‘Fine, whatever, I’m out.’

The AAA girls had been in Australia for a week now and had a couple more shows to do before Alaska and Willam would be returning to the US. Already the idea of them leaving left Courtney a little hollow, not only because she would miss them, but because she also really missed the US.

‘I’m taking a shower,’ Willam informed her and she nodded, turning on the TV.

Courtney and Willam were both stuck inside, Alaska being the only one having a date on the eve of lovers. A weird date for that matter, Courtney thought, but then considered Alaska’s track record with boyfriends and decided that the current candidate was actually a pretty normal guy.

She heard the bathroom door close and wondered whether she would have time for a quickie before Willam would be back. She’d been horny since that morning but had not been able to find any privacy throughout the day. Now, however, she was alone and Willam probably would take his time in the shower. She grinned, turned the volume up on the TV and reached for her mobile for the secret archive of her favourite photos. There were some snapshots she’d screencapped from Twitter and Tumblr, but it was mostly a collection of shots she had taken while they were touring together. In some shots he was smiling brightly and in some shots he had the meanest look for being photographed when he really didn’t want to be. She chuckled and scrolled down to her favorite shot; the one where he was wearing just a towel and trying to cover his face with his hand. She smiled and took a better position on the sofa. She needed to be quick.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could imagine him touching her, tracing his hand over her naked chest, over her collarbone and shoulders. She imagined him kissing her. On the lips, on her neck while playing with her nipples. She imagined how he would be gentle but firm with his movements. How he would make piercing comments that would make her laugh. Because sometimes he was smart, sometimes he was ridiculous, most of the time he was just fucking sexy. She pushed her pajama bottoms and briefs lower and grabbed her dick. She listened carefully that the shower was still running and then squeezed her balls. She was getting fully hard and while she knew that she didn’t have the time for a full exploration of her anus, she did tease herself by massaging her prostate through her perineum.

She sighed and opened her eyes to look at the phone again. He looked so handsome. Edible. She just wanted to be fucked by him. Even if just once. It was kind of a life goal of hers. If she never got to do that she would die unhappy, she was convinced of it. Because some things you just had to do in life, such as surf, learn to drive a card, get absolutely hammered, and fuck-

‘Never took you as an exhibitionist,’ Willam noted, interrupting Courtney’s thoughts.

She opened her eyes in shock, grabbed her phone and hid it behind her back while lifting her knees up to cover herself. How the fuck had she not noticed that the shower had stopped? Probably because she could still hear it running. Willam had never turned it off.

‘Why is the shower still running?’ she asked as she desperately did not want to explain herself.

‘Oh, we’re out of shampoo and I came to ask if you still got some somewhere? Aaand as the water takes a while to get warm, I left it running,’ Willam explained and shrugged indifferently.

Courtney did have extra shampoo in one of the hallway cabinets. She was also hard and in no condition to go and find that for Willam, who stood in front of her in a towel. Dripping water onto the floor… Fuck. She closed her eyes in frustration and was trying to choose whether to tell Willam that she did not have shampoo or try to explain in which cabinet the extra bottle was, when she felt him take a seat next to her. Shit.

‘Want help with that?’ Willam asked, his face so close to hers that she could feel his breath on her cheek.

‘I… I…’ she stammered. Did she? She had certainly fantasized about Willam sucking her off once of twice, but it had never been in a scenario like this. Her scenarios tended to be more romantic.

‘I won’t tell a soul,’ Willam encouraged. He turned Courtney to face him by guiding her chin with his fingers and then pressed a light kiss on her lips. Courtney blushed.

‘It doesn’t have to mean anything,’ Willam grinned and Courtney worried her lower lip. She glanced at Willam. The man felt so good, hovering over her, taking control when Courtney just wanted to let go. He kissed her again, firmer this time, and Courtney nodded once. Yes. She wanted to. She just wanted some release and if Willam was offering…

‘Yeah, ok,’ she whispered against Willam’s lips and could feel him smirking.

‘Awesome.’

He pushed her knees down and abandoned his towel to the sofa while moving to sit on his knees between Courtney’s legs. He grabbed the base of Courtney’s cock, grinned at her and then swallowed her entire length in one slow movement down. Courtney gasped. It felt great. Willam was sucking and licking, and caressing her balls with enthusiasm. With acquired skill. Courtney stroked Willam’s hair and neck while he worked. She let her head fall on the sofa’s backrest and eyed the ceiling before closing her eyes. She could imagine him sucking her; holding her legs apart just like Willam did. Circling the tip of her cock with his tongue, exactly like Willam was doing. She could imagine his laughter and when Willam hummed a tone around her cock she sighed. Would he do that, she wondered. She grabbed Willam’s hair and imagined it darker, shorter. When she approached her climax she kept her eyes tightly shut and warned Willam with a quiet whisper of: ‘Coming.’

Willam did not back off when Courtney shot her load and shivered on the sofa. She kept her eyes closed even after Willam had swallowed and taken a seat next to her. She was spent and a little ashamed. But Willam had offered, so it wasn’t like she had taken full advantage, just like 75%.

‘So it’s Bianca, huh?’ Willam asked then and shocked Courtney out of her afterglow.

She stared at him with wide eyes, lips slightly apart and wondered how the fuck the other queen had guessed that. Had she moaned his name out loud? No, she never did that, she was quite certain of it.

‘How did-’ before she had time to finish her question Willam showed her the mobile phone he had snatched from behind her back.

‘Cool collection,’ he commented, scrolling down in Courtney’s secret folder.

‘Give it back,’ Courtney insisted and reached for the phone.

‘In a second,’ Willam smirked and seemed to be typing something.

‘What are you doing?’ Courtney asked, alarmed. She had a bad feeling about this.

‘There, no harm done,’ Willam smirked and gave the phone back. She glanced at it and saw that Willam had sent a Whatsapp message to Roy: ‘I love you. Fuck me bareback?’

She stared at the text on the screen in horror, glanced at Willam and then… Then the two ticks on the bottom of the message turned blue. She gasped.

‘You utter fucking cunt!’ she exclaimed at Willam and slapped him at his chest. Twice.

‘Au, fuck!’ Willam swore and Courtney might have continued her violent attacks had her phone not rang at that very moment.

‘Shit! WILLAM!’ she shouted accusingly: ‘What am I gonna say?!’

‘Well, whatever you say, do not tell him the truth,’ he laughed and covered himself with the towel.

Courtney threw an ugly look at Willam, took a deep breath and answered the phone.

‘Hi Roy,’ she said and tried to appear normal: ‘Listen, I can explain that.’

Roy was silent a moment before clearing his throat and saying: ‘Okay?’

‘The thing is…’ Courtney started, but did not know how to continue. ‘The thing is,’ she tried again.

‘The thing is she’s all ready for you if you want it!’ Willam yelled loudly.

‘Shut up bitch!’ Courtney shouted and kicked the other queen. Twice. Willam groaned in pain.

‘Is that Willam?’ Roy asked and Courtney thought she could hear a smile in the voice.

‘I, yes. Yeah, that’s Willam,’ she answered Roy. She was flustered. And annoyed. And angry! And at the same time it was so nice to hear Roy’s voice… She just wanted to sit there and listen to him talk. For hours.

‘Is Alaska there as well?’ Roy asked and Courtney shook her head, before realising he couldn’t see her.

‘No. No, she’s out. She has a Valentine’s day -date,’ Courtney said and the date registered with her. Willam had truly screwed her over. Who sent that kind of a message to someone on Valentine’s day? Wait, was it even Valentine’s day in the US? What was the time difference? Then it occurred to her that Roy must’ve been alone as he had called. Why wasn’t he out?

‘You… You’re home?’ she asked and threw a murderous glare at Willam who was making obscene gestures with his hands and face.

‘Yeah, I was actually going to watch a film when I got your message,’ Roy said calmly.

‘I… I’m sorry,’ Courtney said: ‘It’s Willam, he-um, he…’

Willam was making gestures for Courtney not to tell the truth; not to share all the details.

‘He sent that,’ Courtney finished and Willam made a silent gesture of shooting Courtney in the head for stupidity.

‘Yeah?’ Roy asked and Courtney thought she could hear a slight undertone of disappointment.

‘Yeah,’ she repeated and then decided to risk it. It was Valentine’s day after all. At least in Australia. ‘But he-um, he might’ve gotten it from me. Like, the information,’ she explained and grimaced as she realised how stupid that sounded.

‘Yeah?’ Roy asked again and the voice sounded brighter somehow.

‘Yeah,’ Courtney whispered. She thought she might throw up at any moment. She felt nauseous and nervous – and she absolutely fucking hated Willam.

‘That’s um,’ Roy started but paused for a while before continuing: ‘That’s nice.’

‘Nice?!’ Courtney exclaimed. Bianca del Rio, speechless?! The time of miracles really was not over.

‘Well, I thought ‘nice’ was more appropriate than telling you to drag your gorgeous ass onto a plane so I can fuck it raw after you land,’ Roy stated. Courtney’s heart skipped a beat.

‘Yeah?’ she asked and chuckled. It might’ve not been the cutest of love declarations, but it definitely was something.

‘Yeah,’ Roy confirmed. ‘And tell that cunt to keep his hands off of other people’s stuff.’

Courtney laughed. ‘I can tell him, but he’s not likely to listen.’

They ended the call with a promise to talk soon. To figure things out. To visit. Courtney turned to Willam and didn’t know whether to thank him or to punch him in the face. He grinned, as if reading her thoughts and sighed then dramatically: ‘I hope Lasky’s date is awful, so I’m not the only sad motherfucker today.’

Courtney chuckled and shook her head, and then she heard it…

‘Willam?’

‘Hm?’

‘I think the shower’s still on…’

#courtney act #willam belli #bianca del rio #witney #bitney #spoky #rpdr fanfiction #submission

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